#i mean it's still a random ass event but i was thinking it would be less professional

[luckystrike-x]

.

[almondamaretto]

hii i loved ur crossfaded story, do u think u could do some stoner matt bf hcs? 🫶🫶

YESSSSS omg girl u have good taste

i was looking for an excuse to write ts. also not proofread!! and not good because i was high!!

stoner!matt x afab!reader

warnings: use of weed, smut

— ok lets get one thing straight, this man is one of those deep thought, random fact stoners that make you rethink everything about the world.

— "who decided that the alphabet was in alphabetical order? maybe we wanted e first, yknow?"

— always has at least one joint or the makings for one joint on him at all times. not as bad as chris who i would imagine carries around like 2-3 all the time.

— i would give anything to see this man rolling a fuckin joint.

— feels like an unpopular opinion i'm not sure, but he definitely thinks watching his girl roll one is hot. especially if you're not as experienced as him, yet still make an effort to try and impress him.

— if you're a stoner, he's buying you cute shit. cute papers, a cute grinder, lighters and stash boxes.

— is either non-verbal while high or actually yapping with no in between, but the simple truth his, he wants to be touching you at all times.

— imagine js sitting there, chatting his ear off, reflecting on your day n he's just staring, completely engrossed. meanwhile his fingers have been trailing up and down your thigh...

— or, he's running his mouth while taking a hold of your hand, leaving chaste kisses all over your hand, face, neck, and lips, only quiet whilst doing so.

— would def always be down to smoke w you, he could never say no to his sweet girl.

— loves to smoke in a group with his brothers, closest friends, and you cause he is a big quality time guy, but there is something so satisfying about being alone with you, watching the way you move through the haze filling the room.

— i think he would get more jealous while under the influence, you just look so good and he knows what every other guy is thinking.

— he is obviously very touchy and needy when he's high, but he also speaks in such an insatiable way, voicing all his dirty thoughts with no reserve.

— "and that's when- wow i can't shut up" "i could think of a few ways to shut you up."

— and you're gagged. figuratively and literally.

— one day, the friend group is at a party or some type of event. you and matt are nowhere to be found though, tucked away in some large room behind a locked door, the window cracked open.

— the roach of a used up joint was thrown onto the bedside table, hands now busy with pulling each other impossibly closer.

— he had pulled you up onto his lap, large hands gripping your ass as you pressed against his hard-on. your lips were quickly pressed together in sloppy kisses, your hands exploring his torso enthusiastically, his grazing up your sides and ass.

— "you were sittin' so pretty down there for me doll. did you really expect me to not pay attention?"

— he grumbles out while his lips ghost over your neck. you practically melt into his hands.

— chris came banging on the door, talking about something neither of you had interest in. matt never faltered in his movements, continue to squeeze your ass and nibble on your neck and chest.

— "matt!" "shh, stay quiet for me baby, he'll leave soon."

— when chris persists, he's groaning loudly and laying you gently on the bed, leaving a final kiss to your lips. he swings the door open to reveal only himself, blood-shot eyes and lip gloss smeared over his lips. his hair was jostled every which way, chest heaving slightly.

— chris just grins and shakes his head, mumbling something to matt that undoubtedly makes him roll his eyes.

— "nick and i wanna go to this other party madi's going to, you gotta drive us."

— he immediately refuses and goes to shut the door, but somehow chris convinces him with the reasoning of "less people means less chance someone tries to barge in."

— side note, you always get whichever seat you want and aux when matt's driving, it makes the other two go insane.

— mornings when you both don't have anything important to do or wake up a little earlier than usual, he wants to do two things.

— 1. wake and bake

— 2. morning sex.

— i mean seeing you first thing in the morning, getting high, and then fucking you dumb? thats his own personal heaven.

— it's doesn't take long for you to end up face down whimpering into a pillow while he drills into you from behind, senses heightened by the drug.

— he's struggling himself to keep quiet, opting to let out small grunts and whimpering into your ear, otherwise biting his lip to stay quiet.

— you fill all of his senses so well, your sounds sounding so heavenly to him, your walls squeezing him so well while he thrusts into your tight cunt.

— "doing so good for me mama, takin' me so well." he strains out as he gets close. you're both especially sensitive, highs coming all too soon.

so sorry if this is bad y'all 😭

[that-one-xachster]

Megumi x Childhood Bestie!Reader Hcs

I've seen too many of these and needed to write a few heh ive actually never written hcs before so this is my first time 😅 kinda a slow burn?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so first of all you were tsumiki's bestie because I haven't seen a hc like that yet (PLEASE I NEEDA SEE ONE OF THESE-)

and we'll also make fushi's mom besties with your mom

so now you two are besties since you were in diapers

and you were a very grabby baby and Fushiguro's hair is as wild as carpaccios from mashle-

(sorry not sorry)

so you'd just grab at his hair and pull it all the time which would annoy the hell out of him

which would then somehow end up in you two fighting

AS BABIES

and then your mother's would have to calm you down

and after the whole toji and mother fushiguro went bye bye your mom took in megumi and tsumiki

so now timeskip you're both 6 years old and just walking together from who knows where

and if you thought you grew out of these grabby tendencies no you're either grabbing his hair or his sleeve

yes it still annoys the hell out of him but you do it for shits and giggles

and then on this fine day you just happen to run into the gojo satoru

LMAO MY AUTOCORRECT ALMOST CAPITALIZED HIS NAME

anyway this guy is making his ever so iconic face like 'bro reminds me of his dad-'

anyway gojo doesn't know who you are so you're just standing there awkwardly behind megumi while you're now gripping his backpack

and you're just glaring at gojo for no reason at all for sure just thinking 'who the hell is this weird ahh man with hair like he's in his 70s tryna kidnap megumi 🤨🤨'

and ofc megumi pulls the 'what about my sister' card

and after the whole negotiation with megumi he turns to you and is like 'you can come along too ig'

and ofc you watch megumi so you pull the 'what about my parents' card

gojo's like 😀

anyway you somehow end up going to school with megumi and tsumiki and first day kindergarten no surprise you guys are the new kids

everyone I mean EVERYONE loves tsumiki ofc

a partial reason is because of you and megumi glaring at the people who you think are looking at her a lil funny

like sir ma'am CHILD how dare you

anyway you have a pretty peaceful elementary school

you do pick fights with megumi though

...and a whole lotta other people

you stopped in middle school but looks like megumi picked it up instead because yk he beat up a hefty amount of people

you stanned him for that

also hyping him up from the back

"YEAHH MEGUMI BEAT THEIR ASS"

"shut up."

"no."

".."

"anyway YOU GO MEGUMI BEAT EM UP-"

"sHUT-"

so that was pretty eventful but tsumiki did not approve which caused you to sulk next to megumi

but then yk she went to the cliff and shit went down real fast

tsumiki got cursed, you entered your depressed angsty teenager era, and megumi became emo. more so than he was before

"oh my god its worse than they thought- they made him EMO-"

^ thats megumi now but we all like pretty emo bois so

wItH tHeIr bLaCk hAiR aNd gReEn oRbS-

too bad megumi has blue eyes

>>>>>>

see this is why asians don't have blue eyes we'd be too powerful

anyway back to this you two finish middle school all swandy dandy but a lil depressed

oh and I don't think I mentioned you two got into a fight bc of tsumiki's sickness

like-

megumi: you're closer to tsumiki bc you two are girls why didn't you stop her from pulling random crap whatever she did to make her sick

you: BITCH you blaming ME? you wanna go?

yeah basically you two got into a stupid argument but oh well its fine bc gojo forced you two to talk again and yay you're talking again

and now first year into jujutsu tech you and megumi are the only students so you're still poking and grabbing him all the time

you did it less in middle school

I think we know why

like you're in the car going to a mission- his hairs being tugged

got off the car and walking his sleeve being tugged

everthing

literally everthing

my bros grown immune to it though so he doesn't really mind

he kinda likes it now but will never admit it

so let's say before you got ranked up and all your arm almost got blown off by a curse

needless to say tsumiki's accident really hit him hard so this hit him harder and when I say he got angry he got ANGRY ASF DUDE

like he freakin obliterated the damn curse

he also made it pretty painful

if you even can

and let his demon dogs casually eat it up

and you're just there like 👏👁️👄👁️

"it's not that deep bro-"

"yes it is"

gojo was very proud though

and now you're with him stalking itadori and you're like

woah

*1 braincell working*

itadori = fast

fast = speed

I am speed

ITADORI = LIGHTNING MCQUEEN

kachow

and when you finally confront your stalkee with megumi and itadori's like

"uh I'm mourning rn"

you're just

"thats great and all dude I totally feel you but you're gonna be mourning even more if we don't get our asses to your school"

you did not want to host multiple funerals

so you all speed ran to his school

and whoopsie doosies you're with megumi and itadori makes an entrance like the main character he is

and when my bro eats that finger

and gojo pops up

he throws the kikufuku at megumi

but its okay hope you have a good day imma send you bout 850-

LMAO SORRY

you steal the kikufuku from megumi and eat one as if its popcorn

well you're watching gojo and sukuna fight rn

and you accidentally admit out loud that sukuna's hot

and then megumi low-key side eyes you

BUT THEN HE STARTS FULL ON GLARING AT SUKUNA

bc how dare he some random goofy ahh old mf misongnyistic tatooed dude just steal your attention so casually

he's full on disgusted when he's face to face with sukuna

yes you notice this

you're like

"ooh did somebody get a crush on a thousand year old curse-"

"wtf no get some help"

its the opposite lmao but you don't know that

so then itadori turns back to normal gojo goes boop and he goes to sleep

and now you're here sitting next to megumi, eating Gojo's kikufuku and having the time of your life

holy this is so long imma do a part 2

fun fact my autocorrect always changes sukuna into skunk 🦨

smelly sukuna

[tsukimefuku]

Kindness and sunflowers

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". A sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a fic I'll eventually write (eventually). To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :) 

Disclaimer: they’re NOT written and posted in chronological order of events. To see where this story fits in the timeline, please check the masterlist mentioned above.

Tags: f!reader, soft/implied Higuruma x reader, drinking, fluff, hurt, and comfort.

WC: 1.4k

"Hey, I think he's not doing very well." You said to the other sorcerers, while you were all sitting at the bar. Higuruma had his face plastered on the counter, and one of his hands covered a beer mug. He was mumbling unintelligibly.

This was his first time out of Jujutsu High's headquarters ever since they detained him. After saving your ass when you were on a mission, Higuruma — a curse user that was being hunted by Jujutsu High — was granted mercy under some conditions. If he proved himself as a worthy jujutsu sorcerer in their service, his suspended execution would be extinguished. You asked Gojo, as a favor from your friend, to try saving the guy (after all, he saved you first). Gojo agreed, but warned you'd be responsible for accompanying him in this "parole" period. Deal, you answered, and here you all were a month later.

The guy was smart (and a smart mouth), even with his kind of nihilistic demeanor sometimes. Working with him was very different from working with Nanami the months prior. Higuruma was an absolute beast in the field, and took many more risks than your previous mission partner. On one occasion, you had to take the poisonous hit from a curse to protect him, simply because he made no effort to dodge. You knew full well you could recover using your own RCT, but man, it was a nasty recovery period. He apologized at the time for his irresponsibility, and his empty sardonic facade seemed to get a little chipped away since then. At least for you.

"He seems fine to me." Nanami sipped on his own drink nonchalantly, as he raised one eyebrow while looking at the man. His contempt was hidden under the perfect monotone he had to his voice — Nanami was still furious at Higuruma due to the poisoning debacle that left you bedridden for an entire week.

You looked at him, somewhat irritated.

"Really? Does he, Nanami?" You asked rhetorically, pointing dramatically to face-plastered-on-the-counter Higuruma.

He sighed, putting his drink glass back on the counter. "I apologize, that was uncalled-for." Nanami said. "Yes, he should be taken somewhere else to sober up and sleep properly."

"Hey, lawyer man." Shoko poked Higuruma's arm, and he barely moved. "Yeah, he's out."

"This is it, I'm getting him home." You sighed. "I mean, now he's allowed to go out the headquarters, he might go home, right?"

Gojo shrugged, laughing, as he took many pictures of passed out Higuruma on his phone from different angles. "I didn't ask. They just said he could leave headquarters."

"You didn't ask?" You said, stunned.

He put his phone away in his pocket, clearly amused. "Well, when this happened to one of my students, he wasn't bound to be in headquarters all the time. So I think it's safe to say the man is free to go, as long as he comes back."

You facepalmed. Getting money from your wallet, you gave your and Higuruma's part to Gojo, the only person sober in the whole entourage. "Here, this should cover for us. I'm calling a cab."

He smiled as he said good luck.

***

After fumbling through Higuruma's wallet and questioning him relentlessly, piecing together everything the drunk man could tell, you finally got to drag him to his apartment, where he used to live when he was still a lawyer. There was just one thing you hadn't accounted for — neither of you had the key. You were cursing yourself and him under your breath as you conjured up a tiny grenade with your innate technique, just strong enough to bust open his door without causing collateral damage. He was leaning against the wall, sitting on the ground, and seemed to be snoring. May the neighbors not hear this. It was late enough to be almost early.

The controlled explosion was loud enough to startle him awake, but didn't seem to attract any attention from the other apartments. You threw Higuruma's arm over your shoulders and lifted him up, while you opened the door and carried him inside. Miraculously, when you flipped the lights on, it actually worked. You put him on the couch as you used one of the chairs around the place to hold the door closed.

"You're kind, did you know that?" Higuruma said, while he was a tad bit more sober now than when you both left the bar. He threw himself over the couch, extending his arms on the cushions and leaning his head back to look at the ceiling. "The world is not a great place for kind people."

"You don't say." You replied, smiling, while you looked around the apartment. Somehow, it was exactly what you expected his place to look like. A little messy, with lots of books lying around the house, and even if the place had no big decor or anything like that, it still felt warm. You saw a sunflower withered by the window, and you noticed he looked at it at the same time, grunting in complaint.

Higuruma leaned forward to remove his shoes, but was having a hard time pulling his shoestrings. You sighed as you said, "here, let me help you." You got on your knees and undid both of his shoes, taking them off. 

Higuruma took you by surprise, as he directed his hands to hold your face delicately and lift your gaze. He looked at you, your faces inches apart, as you could still smell the beer from him. His eyes were soft, something you hadn't seen yet. You felt your heart skip a beat as he was holding you like that. "Thank you."

You gulped and blinked a few times, as you removed his hands from your face and got up. "It's just shoes." You turned to walk away into the kitchen and see if you could grab him a glass of water, but he held your hand, still seated on the couch, looking down.

"No. I mean... Thank you." Higuruma said softly. "Thank you for defending me." He sighed deeply. "It's usually the other way around."

"Oh." You turned to look at him. A soft smile took over your face. "You saved me that day. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to return the favor."

He pulled you and had you landing beside him on the sofa. It startled you, as you felt your face warm and blushing. He was still holding your hand, making circles with his thumb over your hand's back, and spoke, nearly whispering, "You're too kind." He closed his eyes, and for your surprise, he leaned over and rested his face on your shoulder in a cat-like demeanor. Your body quivered as you felt his slow breath pressed against your skin, and you both stayed completely still for a while.

"Higuruma?" You asked, hearing in response a soft snore. Oh, he's out. Sliding him very carefully out of your shoulder and onto the couch, you got up. Time to go.

After taking a last look at the withered sunflower that was beside his window you sighed, looking at your wristwatch and feeling you could still wait a few hours. There was something you to do first.

***

Higuruma's head made him a thousand promises of regret as he tried to remember how exactly he got home. The sun was high outside, and it was probably noon already. After getting completely hammered at the bar, he had only a few flashbacks. Getting poked, an insistent camera flash on his face, everyone's voices, his sunflower dead by the window.

You.

He sat up on the couch hastily, feeling instantly dizzy as he put his hands on his head. "Where is she?" He looked around, and the apartment seemed empty. I hope I didn't make a complete fool out of myself yesterday, Higuruma thought to himself, as he got up, careful not to get the drunken vertigo.

Higuruma remembered the sunflower again, and grunted, displeased. He had bought it in an attempt to decorate his apartment, at least a little, and make it feel more like a home. The former lawyer found the idea of him taking care of a sunflower kind of funny and surely ironic. After everything that had happened, he was away from his apartment for nearly two months by this point. "Good thing I never had any food in here." He said to himself, walking towards the window.

He stopped as he saw a brand-new sunflower in a vase, right where the other one previously was. Higuruma smiled, amused with himself, and traced his messy hair with his fingers, wondering how he would thank you for that.

"Yeah. Too kind."

[gumm1defloor]

Seriously this has been fucking me up for ages ever since the episode came out Valentino just what the fuck is this supposed to be I need to know if this means we're going to see his live performances in future seasons this is genuinely driving me senile:

We know this is not just a private photo shoot he has laying around in the building. This is an actual promo being displayed in the streets of hell for random pedestrians to ogle at (smack dab next to a separate advertisement of his own employee which is certainly a choice), so we know this event most certainly not an exclusive one and is marketed directly towards the masses in hell. Which begs the question:

What the hell is this meant to promote??? We know it's a live performance, and since it's Valentino we can safely assume the performance is going to be at least somewhat sexual in nature but that still does not give us any inkling as to what he will be doing in said live performance?? Is he singing? Dancing??? I assumed it's not the latter because I think his pose would presumably not be comfortably sitting (just what the hell is he sitting on that does not look like a chair) with his ass front facing the camera, hand on his thigh if it's that kind of show.

The poster also sort of implies he is going to be preforming whilst wearing his pimp outfit which just makes the whole thing even more confusing on top of everything else. the fact that he's sitting with his ass front facing the camera, hand on his thigh in his pimp outfit in the first place is already sending mildly mixed signals but maybe that's just me personally. Disregarding the possible theory that Valentino used to preform similar shows to this before he became an overlord, what is a show like this meant to accomplish exactly? Is it a celebration of the past? A way to recruit new followers? More audiences for his film products? Or a marketing strategy for the general image of the Vees themselves? And if so why is Valentino sitting with his ASS FRONT FACING-——

[still-a-morosexual-help]

So since we’re making pacts with the 7 brothers again, do you think it’ll be the same order?

I personally can’t see Mammon making a pact with a stranger while his brothers need him.

I also don’t see Levi being willing to make a pact with some random rn, mans got tons of deep rooted hatred for demons after fighting them for years

No idea,

But I think it makes the most sense if Mammon's the first because;

• Mammon being MC's first friend/companion/tour guide is consistent throughout different AUs in om! (that we see in events and devilgrams). So it'd be odd if that suddenly breaks off here?

• He's also instantly intrigued by them/interested in them when he meets them as an angel in the celestial realm. I just imagine this is a constant for Mammon?

• Mammon in S3 says he wouldn't make a pact with a random human. Which is exactly what he did in S1 because despite being intrigued by MC at the time he didn't know them. However, S3 also shows that MC wasn't a random human. They travelled back in time to when the brothers were still angels, made a lasting impression on the them (they encourage Mammon's dreams, laugh at his pranks that no one finds funny and according to him they keep staring at him despite being called out twice). And though MC's and the brothers' memories of this time are erased, Michael says that the effect of their presence will be felt. Angel! Asmo & Lucifer also dream of MC though they can't remember who exactly they're missing (which means the others definitely had similar dreams). So then Mammon's decision to make a pact with MC in S1 could have been subconsciously influenced by this encounter (and it was a decision because being much stronger + faster than Levi & MC he could have easily gotten Goldie back without having to make a pact). Nightbringer happens after that encounter in the Celestial Realm. So the impact of that encounter would, realistically, still be felt in Nightbringer. In other words, the brothers may still feel drawn towards MC/feel like they're familiar

• In S1, MC is also instantly comfortable with him (enough to talk back to him over and over again) while they're reserved with the rest of the brothers until right before/after they make the pact. They've also been called out multiple times (in the main storylines or chats or devilgrams or events) for having a bias towards Mammon. Beel in S1 also said that MC had a tendency to seek out Mammon to talk with him. <- MC, themself, might just gravitate towards Mammon without him having to do anything

• They also never register Mammon as a threat, even during circumstances where they should (vampire devilgram, first paws event, s1). They're comfortable enough with him that they start regularly sharing a bedroom in S1 before they're even proper friends. So again, they may just gravitate towards him.

• Like in S1, Mammon might be the only safe option for MC in the beginning. He's clearly the only one who's got his shit together right now, while the others are visibly heavily traumatised. He's the only one with no regrets about his decision/who seems to have come to terms with what happened. It makes less sense for the ones who are Going Through It to make a pact with a random ass human than the one who is actually (considering the circumstances) extremely well adjusted

• MC's being dropped into Nightbringer to be a therapist to the brothers during their worst moment of life. Previously, Mammon's the one who took on this role (as seen in "The Rulebook" Devilgram). As you said Mammon's brothers need him and literally the best thing he can do right now is team up with the person who's also trying to help them in the same manner he is. It makes so much sense for them to be working together towards their common goal from the beginning, than to be at odds with each other until they make a pact later on

• By the process of elimination, Mammon's the only one who's mentally in a place to make a pact right now. AND at this point his brothers see him as extremely competent (because he is) and reliable - someone who can do anything he puts his mind to. After they Fall he's calm and collected, he's the one who talks them down/soothes their injuires and nightmares. They trust him. They'll, therefore, be much more open to making a pact with MC if Mammon already has one, if they feel like Mammon trusts MC.

• Mammon was literally created by the writers to be MC's "sidekick". It'd be weird to suddenly break away from something that was a major defining point during the creation of his character

I don't know what order they'll go in to make the pacts but listen,

I'm not even saying this as someone who's simping for this idiot;

It's just, objectively, it makes much more sense for Mammon to be MC's first pact again, than for any of the others.

[ultralightpoe]

Copy Cap - Steve Rogers

Authors Note: HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Word Count: 1,601

Warnings: slutty is used A LOT

Description: Small halloween blurb.

This is a part of my Halloween event, stay tuned for a new story every hour!

Happy Halloween!

“What on earth is that?” The sound of Steve Rogers honest to god shocked voice draws your attention from the halloween decorations you had been sent out to get. You find him standing towards the end of the aisle where the kids' costumes started. 

Tony was throwing a halloween party within the tower, and he said that each Avenger HAD to be there. He sent a text out reminding each and everyone of you of a threat on what would happen if you did not attend ‘Starkoween’. And as much as you hated Tony’s parties you truly did not want him sending out the falls and mistakes that Jarvis has caught on tape over the years. The public did not need to see you running into the glass windows thinking it was open.

But not only had you been invited, no, you had been given a task from Tony. 

He apparently was out of lights, and he had also found out that you were short of a costume so he gave you his card and sent you on your way to complete his shopping and on your way out he pawned the super soldier off on you. 

It’s not that you hated Steve, the exact opposite actually. You had a huge crush on him, the kind that reduced you to very few words whenever he was near. Your heart beating through your chest and the need to impress him filling your bones. 

But he was the exact opposite, he liked to ignore you, and when he did actually talk to you it was always about work. He truly just could not be bothered by you. 

So it was odd, so freaking odd, when Steve agreed to ride with you to pick up his own costume. 

Which leads you to this moment, walking up behind Steve to where he is now glaring at a costume. A laugh threatens to escape you as you see what has his so irritated, your eyes catching on the slutty cap costume. 

The woman wore a very skimpy one piece that plunged down and barely covered her ass. It was placed together with male versions and kid versions, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. 

“What’s so funny?”

“It’s just….. You look like a mom-” A cackle finally falls from your lips and he whirls on you with a shocked face, the hands on his hips just making it worse. 

“A mom?”

“YES!” “Do you realize how vulgar this costume is?” 

“It looks great, she looks great.” You sigh, finally beginning to calm down. “Not the best spot for it, but still a great costume.”

“It’s completely inappropriate.” He snaps out, snatching a random costume from the shelf and storming off. 

“I didn’t mean to make you mad!” You call after him, seeing his head shake as he keeps storming off. 

That stings, and just like every other conversation you have had with the man you are left feeling stupid. And that wasn’t fair because you were always trying. He NEVER tried. And honestly, you were sick of it. So you shoved the pumpkin and bat lights in the cart before grabbing your own costume and making your way to checkout. 

- 

“You don’t understand, Nat.” Steve can do nothing but sigh out, one hand clenched around a beer bottle as he watches everyone pass around him. The beer was honestly just for show, truthfully he thought they tasted disgusting and the super soldier serum didn’t allow him to get drunk so he pretended to drink to blend in. Not that it truly mattered since he was hiding by Nat and Sam all night. “It was so embarrassing.”

“What about a slutty costume is embarrassing?” His friend laughs, sipping slowly on some weird cocktail that had gummy eyeballs floating through it. It was the first time he had seen her drink anything but a martini or beer. “I don’t think-”

“What does Y/n think of me?” 

“That…… you’re slutty?”

“Yes! Or just… it’s embarrassing that she might view me like a joke. I mean if people can dress me that way then what do they think of me? What does SHE think of me?”

“I think that you are overthinking this whole thinking thing.” Sam sighs, rubbing his eyelids. “I seriously doubt that costume made Y/n think of you in a bad way, everything can be turned into a slutty costume these days. A nun can be-”

“What about nuns?” Bucky asks, walking up with another round of drinks balanced in his hand. 

“Slutty nuns on Halloween. I was telling Steve that anything can be slutty on halloween. Hell I’ve seen girls dress as slutty corn-” Sam starts. 

“Slutty teacher.” Tony cuts in.

“Don’t forget slutty michael myers.” Wanda supplies, fixing the pirate hat she wore. 

“Or slutty pirate!” Nat points and Wanda looks completely shocked. “Says the slutty mouse!”

“You guys are saying slutty wayyyyy too much.” Bruce sighs before Bucky smiles from ear to ear. 

“How about slutty Y/n?” He blurts and Steve’s head whips towards him, anger coursing through his blood as Bucky looks back to him. “Watch yourself James.”

“No, look at your girlfriend.” Bucky teases, pointing in your direction. Steve finds you in an instant, coming down the steps from the living quarters with a wide smile on your own face. Your walk is smooth, and Steve cannot pull his eyes away from you in the slutty cap costume he had seen at the store. 

You had paired it with thigh high red heels and red lipstick, the mask covered half your face but it was very easy to recognize you. 

The beer bottle in his hand shatters and multiple turn to see the commotion, party goers spotting all the Avengers and suddenly move forward to greet the group. But Steve is already moving through them to get to you, not even bothering to apologize when he bumped into people. 

“Y/n.” He calls, face heated as he tries to catch your attention. “Hey-”

“Eyyy, It’s lady liberty over here-” A drunken voice catches his attention, filling his vision before he could get to you. And the second he sees the drunk abe lincoln heading towards you a wave of jealousy fills him.

  It’s not really fair, he knows this. He avoids talking to you because he doesn’t want to look like a fool but he hates when other people talk to you. A never ending game. 

“Y/n! Hey-” He calls again, feeling his chest lighten when you finally glance over at him. 

“Captain America!” Drunken Abe calls, reaching a hand out for a high five. “Hate to say it but she wore it better-”

“Don’t I know it.” Steve blushes, finally within arms reach of you.

“I’m not changing.” You snap, crossing your arms. “And before you start you should just be thankful that I didn’t buy the little shield.”

“I wasn’t gonna say you should change, you look…… you look great.”

“Oh? Not too vulgar?” You glare and his fight or flight begins to kick in. Landing on flight.

“Did I…. have I made you mad?” He asks, rubbing at his chest, trying not to blush too much. He probably looked insane, standing in a turtle costume while you are here looking like an actual goddess. 

“Did you make me mad? You were mad earlier!”

“I… what?”

“You snapped earlier and stormed off.”

“Because I looked like an idiot!”

“Oh whatever-” You go to walk off and he finds himself following you. 

“Wait, just hold on-”

“You realize this is like the third actual conversation we have had that lasts more than two sentences?”

“I do.” Entirely his fault, he could never seem to figure out what to say. 

“And you always act like an ass-”

“I don’t mean to. Wait just let me explain, okay?”

You squint, watching him for a moment before sighing and nodding. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” He sighs, leading you to a quieter side of the room, the lights around you both flashing bright. “I just… okay here goes nothing-”

“You’re wasting my time.”

“I know, it’s just I don’t know what to say.”

“How about the truth?”

“The truth? Okay. You make me feel like an idiot. Not on purpose but you do. It’s been nearly 100 years under the ice, 100 years since I talked to a woman and I was still unpracticed before I went under. And then I come out and I am living with this absolute gorgeous gal who is just…. perfect . I am so under prepared for anything, I know nothing of the new world and I think everything I say is wrong.”

You're watching him with such intense eyes he might die. 

“And then today, I finally talk myself into trying to talk to you and before I get a chance I saw the costume and I just felt…”

“Stupid?”

“Yes. Embarrassed and like I was the butt of a joke. Truth is I really like you, and here you are wearing a copycat of my costume while I am dressed up as a Ninja teenage mutant turtle-” Before he can finish his sentence your mouth his on his own, and he can’t breathe. 

Kissing back deeply and falling into a trance as his hands move up to hold the sides of your head. By the time you both pull back the red lipstick is covering half your chin. “I don’t think you’re stupid and I love the costume.” You smile and before he knows it he is reaching down to kiss you again.

[ariseur]

May I request a headcanon for Sephiroth with an S/O who loves to sing?

sephiroth with someone who loves to sing hc’s 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

sephiroth (ffvii) x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

i wrote this while watching ‘isle of dogs’ and now i wanna cry a little bit 😞

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

mentions and two to four bullets of post nibelheim sephiroth, intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything 💕!!

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ getting started right away, i think this would be like heaven for both pre nibelheim and post nibelheim sephiroth.

❥ when i first read this request, i couldn’t stop thinking about this one image where sephiroth’s just flat out-tired and he comes home, utterly collapsing into your arms until you finally give into his pleas to sing to him. and when you finally look back down at him, you see him all tranquil resting his head on your lap— hair splayed out beneath him in an almost ethereal manner. so great, now you have a 6’1” / 185cm first class SOLDIER sleeping on you. i almost imagine sephs like a really big cat in this scenario— .. or any scenario, really.

❥ i think it soothes him to a great degree, even hearing your voice while you speak to him is an honor in itself. so after a tiring day, your voice is just what he needs.

❥ god forbid you’re insecure about your voice or you think you don’t sing well, this man will prove you wrong and he will leave no room for argument. it’s not even like he means to be so stubborn, he just doesn’t understand how anybody could find your voice unappealing for you are the siren and he is the sailor— waiting to be lured into your trap for one sliver of hope once more.. except you wouldn’t eat him.

❥ i love the idea that sephiroth just appears around random corners, or like, he’s so quiet you don’t notice when he’s right behind you. so i just imagine you’re singing or muttering your favorite song while you’re completing whatever mundane task, before turning around and seeing your tall ass lover just admiring you lol. it gets kinda creepy, but he means well i swear. he’s just a tad bit awkward 😭

❥ if you have any career related to singing or if you desire to, sephiroth is your biggest fan!! if you’re already employed as a singer or musician, he will show up to all your performances and just absolutely admire you in awe. if it’s at a club, he might not go considering he’d be recognized— you know, considering he’s labeled as a war hero and an icon of shinra. so he’d feel bad regardless if he went or not because he really wants to support you, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight from you because god knows you deserve it.

❥ if you wish to pursue a career in music but you don’t know where to start, he will help you!! he’ll ask everybody and anybody for advice to give to you or to see if they can pull a few strings to get you in somewhere. he’ll want to support you the best he can, after all— you’ve supported him all this time as well, haven’t you? it’s only fair that he does the same, whether you guys were together or not i’m sure he’d still want to support you in whatever way he can.

❥ while post-nibelheim seph still loves your voice, he doesn’t care all that much as he would before nibelheim. he’s too busy plotting revenge on the world, you know, because this planet IS his birthright after all. he’ll still encourage you to sing; he promises that once he has control over this world— the world that he believes was promised to him, he’ll put your face everywhere for everyone to see and come to your shows as he wants them to witness your glory and talent before them.

❥ i’d like to think there’s at least a sliver of humanity in sephiroth after the events that took place in nibelheim, and i believe he only wants to be loved after so many years of being deprived of genuine affection and adoration. so i’m imagining that one day, he uncharacteristically falls into your arms ( and if you had met him pre-nh then i’d imagine you’d tear up at least a little bit thinking sephiroth still has some of his sweetness left in him ), and asks that you sing him something, like how you used to. and sephiroth falls asleep in your arms, clutching your waist as he buries his head in your stomach with a tight hold. just like how he used to.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

“what was that song you sung to me last night?”

you cocked your head at SEPHIROTH’s inquiry, hands still carding through the silkiness of his hair. it was an odd sight to see. the war hero, sephiroth, draped over your body as he rested his chin on your shoulder as he interrupted the quietude, his velvet words almost blending in with it.

“what song?” you asked. you felt small puffs of his breathing on your shoulder as you patted his back. you could tell from his soft breaths that he was tired, almost coming out in sighs rather than deep breaths. you didn’t even have to look at him to guess that his eyes were probably drooping close with just your voice alone.

“i’m not sure,” his voice trailed off into a quiet amused chuckle, his full body weight resting on you, “that’s why i’ve asked you.”

sephiroth could feel your eye roll, even from where he was positioned. and at first, he believed you would’ve given up on trying to recall the song and would instead lay in silence with him, which wasn’t so bad either way.

but then your voice began— and it was like you casted a spell on him. his eyelashes fluttered with each lyric that left your lips, melodies that echoed in his brain constantly only in the form of your voice. hell, he’d even hear a sweet song on the television and he’d imagine it was you behind the microphone, singing those sweet tunes to him as you looked at the camera. it didn’t help how you rubbed his back so soothingly, he could already feel the serenity of sleep overtaking him as the soft whispers of your voice got to him.

he finally let his forehead rest against you, closing his eyes as he made a note of a promise of only to sleep for five minutes— although you both knew that it definitely wouldn’t be just five minutes, not after the day he had. your words faltered for a moment as you let a sweet chuckle slip past your lips at the man before you, trying to stifle your laughter as he groaned at the vibrations in your chest, clearly grumpy in his half-sleepy state.

you kept singing, lulling him into a state of sleep in which he’d dream of you, your voice only fueling his idea of you as a divine being come down unto to bless him, for what reason he doesn’t know— but he’ll enjoy it for just a little bit longer.

[stop-talking]

Honestly? I'm not surprised the FNAF movie is delayed.

They're DEFINETLY struggling to come up with a plot for the next movie. They planned to make three movies if the first went well, but they didn't really leave themselves much room for a sequel.

What do I mean by that? Well...

• The driving conflict of the first movie, that got Mike to work at Freddy's in the first place, was the custody battle with aunt Jane. But they fucking killed her off. (In the movie, it seems like it's possible she still may be alive, but in the book it's pretty much confirmed she's dead.) Abby sees her "lying in a puddle of ketchup" or something when golden freddy comes to get her. And I have a direct quote from Mike.

"You know," he said, "I think my aunt has finally decided to move on." I mean... she kind of did, Mike thought. (Pg 317)

• Oh, and also in the book, it's said Mike gets a nice new job as a contractor after the events at Freddy's, so it's not like they can pull the "Mike can't find a job so he HAS to work at another Freddy's location!" thing again.

• AND, they resolved his storyline with Garrett. He's found the killer, and watched him die. (Even if we know he's not dead). Mike realized Abby is much more important than his dead brother and he no longer torments himself with thoughts of Garrett... so I don't think he'd go poking around in another Freddy's location to "figure out what happened". He knows what happened. And he's finally over it.

• It seems like they TRIED to give themselves something to work with in the end credits. You know, the "C O M E F I N D M E". But honestly? It's not all that helpful. There's no clear way to tell who it's addressed to or who it's from. Everyone seems to agree it's Garrett speaking to Mike as the puppett, but honestly? That doesn't make sense to me.

• I've already explained that I don't think Mike is interested in learning more about his brother's death. He knows who killed him, and watched that man die. Mike is as "at peace" as he's ever going to get. Besides, I don't think Garrett is the puppett!! At all!!

• In the movie, Mike says he feels closer to Garrett at Freddy's. I think that means his soul is LITERALLY there, in THAT Freddy's location. Why else would he say that? Just because there are ghosts there killed by the same man? Also, in the novel, Mike literally sees Garrett's ghost in the pizzeria and it leads him to Springtrap. Finally, the "It's me" messages that keep appearing near Mike. Who else would be writing that shit? It's not just a little Easter egg for the audience. It has to be someone Mike knows. Garrett. (Also I think there's a strong argument to be made that Garrett is co-posessing Golden Freddy with the little blonde boy)

• SO THEN, WHO IS SAYING "COME FIND ME," AND WHO ARE THEY TALKING TO?

Honestly? No clue. But I think there are a few interesting directions they could take things.

1) From Mike's dad, to Mike.

In the movie they sort of imply Mike's dad offed himself, but in the book they reveal he just walked out on them. So he's still out there somewhere, and they could totally reveal he had some kind of connection to Freddy's and William, and it would explain why William drove all the way to goddamn Nebraska to kidnap some random ass kid.

2) From springtrap, to some unfortunate soul dumb enough to set him free

In the games, he was locked away in a bricked off room for like 30 years before being set free, but I don't think these movies are going to have that big of a time skip. Probably a year at most. So I could see the next movie starting with some idiot freeing springtrap.

3) Okay yeah I cant think of anything else.

And I know I'm not a professional screenplay writer but those bitches are anxiously struggling too!! In every interview where Josh Hutcherson (Mike) has been asked about a sequel, he says they're still trying to figure out the story. No shit!! They didn't give themselves anything to work with.

• So basically, Mike has absolutely no reason to go back to another Freddy's location, and the little secret message at the end is almost too vague to be useful.

So, what DID they leave themselves to work with in the next movie? What plot points remain unresolved?

• For one thing, they didn't even give William a fucking motive for killing kids. Or for luring security guards to their deaths. This version of him seems to have a much better understanding of remnant and possession that his game counterpart, but there's no reason given for that either. In the game, he does it all for his dead son. He wants to "fix" him. But they didn't set up any hints to that in the first movie. Mike talked to Vanessa about HIS dead brother, so I feel like if the whole "dead son" thing was the case, she would have mentioned she lost a sibling too.

• Or maybe William would have brought it up at the end when he was getting mad at Vanessa. The "mess YOU created!!" scene. He probably would have said something like, "You know why we have to do this, Vanessa." But he didn't. There's literally no known motive, and it'll be kind of hard to set one up without any breadcrumbs left in the previous movie.

• Mike was TOTALLY falling for Vanessa in the books. Yeah, I know, a lot of people feel FNAF isn't a place for romance, and SCHMELLY isn't a very popular ship... but that doesn't change the face he almost kissed her in the novel. (Also in the book she threw his EMPTY PILL BOTTLE into the river, didn't actually toss bro's meds! So she's a little more likeable!)

"Vanessa and Mike grinned at each other, and Mike felt something zing inside of him. It was a palpable 'wow' feeling that was much more intense than his casual appreciation of her beauty. And the zing felt like it was going both ways. The look Vanessa was giving Mike was one he hadn't ever seen before... not directed at him anyway. Her reciprocation of his feelings was so strong that he felt himself leaning toward her." (pg 186)

(They didn't kiss though, Vanessa blushed and looked away and changed the subject.) Still... now they have to address their little romantic subplot in the next movie as well.

• Vanessa. Just as a character. There's a lot to work with there. Personally, I think it would be interesting to use her coma to tell a story. You know, have her flashback to there's childhood with William and at Freddy's. (Honestly if they don't do that they're dumb and missing a huge opportunity. Why else put her in the goddamn coma?)

• Also, in the novel, they heavily implied she's... a robot? Apparently, her eyes drastically change color and Mike notes she flips from "girl mode" to "cop mode" on a dime. In the movie she just looked bipolar.

"Yeah Abby, let's use the tables for the fort! 😄"

"Mike if you bring her here again I will SHOOT YOU. 🤬"

• But yeah apparently she's a robot. A robot so convincing that even hospital nurses and doctors can't tell. With no explanation for how William could have built that. Or why there's a photo of her and William where she's clearly a child. Did he build a child robot that grew up into an adult woman robot? Or did he build two robots? Or did child Vanessa die and he replaced her with a robot? Who knows!

"Mike watched, mesmerized, as Vanessa's irises deepened noticeably in hue. They went from their usual soft, almost greyish-blue to a deeper indigo. The shift was so pronounced it almost looked computer-generated. It was also enormously disquieting. Mike felt like he was watching a human turn into..." (pg 184)

• So for the next move, Mike has no motive to go visit Freddy's, William has no motive in general, and Vanessa is a robot. The script practically writes itself, am I right??

And then there's the way Scott Cawthon likes to incorporate fan feedback into all of his projects.

(Ex: People complained FNAF 3 wasn't scary, so he made FNAF 4 horrifying)

• I have no doubt he's going to incorporate the fanbase's favorite characters into the next movie. (Ness, Doug, Maxine, Jeremy) Which honestly just complicates the plot further, adding more stipulations to the script.

• Bringing Ness back would be easy? Mike and Abby could have a scene in the diner, I guess, but it's also sort of unnecessary, and I'm not sure MatPat would agree to another cameo. He's retired.

• Bringing Doug back would be more complicated. He's aunt Jane's lawyer... but they fuckin' killed her off. So. Doug is not needed.

• Jeremy could come back? Maybe? He's really a background character... It's not stated whether or not Mike was friends with him outside work, or kept in touch with him after being fired.

• Maxine is a lot more complicated. The actress who plays her, Kathryn Sterling, said herself that she was originally supposed to have a bigger role in the film but it got trimmed down. And THEN there's the way she was stuffed into a purple Freddy suit, which a lot of fans theorize is supposed to be Shadow Freddy. On her TikTok, she basically confirms this, hinting to her character coming back in the next movie and being more important.

So in the next movie...

1) Mike has to somehow have to end up tangled back into Freddy Fazbullshit even though he has NO desire to... (Remember the way he looked at Abby when she asked if they could visit them??)

2) They have to reveal or at least hint towards Vanessa being a robot

3) Mike & Vanessa romance subplot??

4) William needs a fucking motive for killing people

5) The audience needs to be able to tell who "come find me" was said by AND who it was directed towards

6) Bonus points if they can cram in more youtuber cameos & beloved characters from the last movie like Jeremy and Doug

--------------------------------------------------

So yeah. It's a lot to consider when writing. And the clock is ticking, because kids, especially little kids like Garrett's actor, grow up FAST. And ghost kids aren't supposed to grow up. Ghost kids are supposed to be dead.

I do want to say though, that despite the plot holes, I LOVE the FNAF movie. I've watched it 20+ times. It's genuinely one of my comfort movies. I'm excited for the next movie, but I'm also sort of expecting it to be late 2025 before we get to see it.

Scott is notoriously picky. He turned down, like, 8 scripts for the first movie before settling on the Mike storyline. I don't mind waiting, especially considering how difficult this next movie is gonna be to write. Also if you read this whole rant?? Damn?? Kiss me on the mouth rn.

[coconutredbulllover]

ok this is my timeline. (detective hat on, delulu heart always)

2017- friends (then best friends)

2018- something started… team USA? yh.

2020- fwb era, (Covid gives very strong vibes of this, the way they are so giddy/acting a tiny bit guilty around each other in azzi’s vlogs)

2021- not exclusive, exploration period but still best fwb😭 (Paige running a full ass campaign to get azzi to uconn?)

2022/injury- exclusive, Paige’s injury probably highlighted just how romantic their relationship actually was (the interviews from this time are giving married) also, something was deffo happening at this point

2023- started off rocky? heard rumours abt fights but again who knows how truthful anyone is being when they are anonymous! I think they were probs still exclusive, you can’t exactly go back on that, and azzis injury probably solidified it even more. At this point I think they realised they had to try and keep it more private, hence the lack of appearances on each others socials. (Especially after the live…)

2024- married, soft launch at the draft. Events just after the draft probably brought them even closer, but also probably meant they realised they had to keep it even more of a secret/private. slowly seems to be getting more comfortable with soft launching or at least showing they r each others person (azzi at the espn summit, mentioning Paige)

This is all just speculation (with random bits of evidence tying it together) but would be interested in your ideas, do u agree?

u so valid anon

this timeline makes pretty good sense and follows the ‘they know where home is’ theory, i also agree with 2020/2021 as a fwb exploration periods it js makes the most sense

the injuries fr probably made them closer, being there for eachother and leaning as emotional support coulda grown the bond and made them realize more what they mean to eachother in the long run

i like how they jump to married in 2024 LOL. idk if they put a label on it but i feel like in this point of time the draft was seeming soft launchy, their vibes seem ‘private but not a secret’ but leaning heavy on private and instead of secret more like nonconfirming but arent drivign themselves crazy to keep it insanely on the hush hush.

glad they seem to be becoming okay more interacting w eachother on media but i highkey dont think they had any issues in the firstplace 😭 maybe a little distancing but only cause it was probs what was best at the time of the fresh situation. azzi wasnt rlly on socials anyways other than the fact she was slightly coming back from the dead as the meteor struck. honestly we been getting pretty consistent pazzi crumbs even after it all happened like pretty soon after they were already being spotted in public 🤷‍♀️.

yeah for wraps basically for the most part i agree w everythinf u said maybe id add the timeline of when different big events happened and tweak the earlier parts pf the time line but ya pretty good 👍🏼 😊

[euno11a]

I’m BEGGING for a mafiaboss!Yoongi with an enemies to lovers vibe 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

Hell yes!!! Nah, because I feel like even in a relationship with him, he’d still be stubborn but in a cute way ya know?

Warnings: mentions of blood, yoongi being a stubborn man, arguing (him telling you to take care of yourself 👀), mentions of not taking care of self properly (eating, sleeping)

You had been working for Min Yoongi for quite a while now being his secretary in a sense. He had horrible working hours, meaning that you had horrible working hours. You were the one that took care of all his meetings, research on targets and just regular chore things he apparently couldn’t do himself (🙄). Sure, he payed well and was nice to look at, but he was a pain in your ass. Almost every day he would have some sort of obscene job for you to complete by the end of the day, and you were 99.9% sure he hated you. You definitely hated him! Who makes a person work on their birthday?! Min Yoongi does, that’s who! You’d missed countless family gatherings, birthdays and random celebrations, just because he gave you a new job. You definitely hated him.

“Where are my files, ___? I need them by 2pm. Get it done.” Speak of the devil and he shall appear! A new job, files that he should be doing, but is instead giving to you because he’s probably too lazy to do it. You scoffed quietly and took the stack of files to your smaller desk that was located outside of his meeting room.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, jackass…” you whispered under your breath. But almost immediately regretted it when you heard his footsteps stop.

“Excuse me?” He said in a dark and threatening tone.

You froze, turning to look at him. “Of course, sir. I’ll have those done.” Giving a small bow, you tried to grab the files and make an escape.

“No, what did you say? Because I know for a fact that you did not just say that. Tell me right now.” His voice was only getting deeper, walking closer towards you.

Your eyes widened, backing up a little. Yes he was a total asshat, but something inside you turned…you felt oddly attracted to him. Wait…WHAT?! No, no, no! Stop thinking like that! “Forgive me, s-sir, I misspoke. It will not happen again.”

“It better not.” He spat, walking past you. “Have those files done by the time I get back.”

You didn’t have time to respond before he walked away and out of sight. Damn…you fucked up, but maybe it was worth it…

~~~ Hours later, you were still working on the files. It was a bunch of bullshit about this upcoming event that he planned on attending so that he could assassinate some rich guy. What a load of bull. You felt like crap, you hadn’t eaten and barely got sleep the night before. It was an awful habit of yours, working so much that you forgot to take basic care of yourself. You had planned on fixing that, you really had, but after working for Yoongi, that plan seemed to crumple up and get thrown into the sewer. You heard steps, heavy ones, ones that sounded fuzzy. Looking up, you saw Yoongi, covered in someone else’s blood. The sight made you nauseous.

“Are the files complete?” He asked in a cold and distant tone.

“Yes, they are, sir…” you slurred out, resting your head in your hand. Composing yourself, you stood up and grabbed the files, handing them to him. The drowsiness got to you and you stumbled, dropping the files, papers scattered everywhere. He caught you in his strong arms, holding your weight.

“The hell…? What’s wrong? ___? ___?!” That was the last thing you heard before passing out.

~~~ You woke up…some time later, but not where you thought you’d be. You were in some dark room, under a blanket. You sat up, trying to make out anything in the dark room, when the door opened. A warm hand touched your forehead, your eyes trying to adjust to the darkness to see who it is.

“You know, you should be taking care of yourself.” A deep voice spoke, ah shit, Yoongi. “When was the last time you ate? Or slept?”

“Uhm, I ate today. And slept last night.” You spoke in a quiet voice. Trying to look away.

“Be honest.” He spoke sternly.

“A banana…and only about an hour…”

You could hear the disappointment in his singular sigh. He stood up and turned on a lamp, oh…you were in his office. It was pretty nice…has a couch and everything.

“I’ll be back with food.” He began making his way to the door again.

“You really don’t need to-!”

“But I will. Because I care about you, kitten. Now take a nap. You need it.” He said softly, walking out of the room, closing the door for you to rest.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

what would make yves and montgomery go crazy? crazy in the sense of awooga wowowoa sexy hot and bothered yknow what i mean??? i bet it would take a lot to rile yves up but i would like to as a precursor to the tooth rotting sweetness of his love making! - 🌷

Tw: discussion about sex, dubcon

Montgomery is a horndog, he gets horny just about anything and would paw at you to get some juicy pussy, dick or nonbinary genitals. Just bat your eyelash or lack there of and there's already a banana in his pants. If you're dominant enough, stick a finger up his ass and he's going to cum buckets instantly, whimpering and crying on the ground.

It does depend if you're a dom or sub. If you're like the reader depicted in It Was Only Supposed to Be a One Night Stand series, he would act more like an obedient dog that is desperate for a release, yet sob in agony when he's overstimulated. He would cling onto your arm and look up to you with big, adoring eyes.

But if you're a meeker person though, he's going to be grabby, touchy and a piece of shit who wholeheartedly believes that you're simply playing hard to get and you secretly wanted him to insist harder.

For instance, when he's spooning you from behind at night, you can feel his hard member pressing up your ass. The only barrier between his dick and your hole are clothes. Montgomery would slide his hands down your pants and fondle you until he eventually falls asleep. Your 'no' means 'yes please, take me now and don't stop' at worst, 'definitely later' at best.

If you don't like penetrative sex, he's more than happy to use his tongue. For a tall guy, he sure loves to make himself a lot shorter, usually to your crotch level.

Even your scent gets him aroused. The only difference is that he will act upon it if you're a sub, he will wait for your touch if you're a dom.

On the other hand, You have to go through a ninja-warrior-esque obstacle course to get some from Yves. You have to technically act as the "man" for a bit, planning dates, trying to pay things out of your pocket, being extremely attentive to him and generally be super romantic. In other words, attempt in your own way to match up to what he brings to the table, have a binder full of his information, log his habits, take note of what he likes, etcetera etcetera.

Try your best to make it an elaborate surprise, but he will know about it anyway because he's Yves. The more effort you put into this wonderful gesture for Yves, the more likely he is going to initiate sex. However you're going to have to be patient, you're going to have to check yourself.

If you're too pushy and borderline coercing him to have sex with you, he's going to be upset and tell you off. All of your work would have been for nothing if he thinks you're doing this to get some dick.

If you're too passive, Yves will not reward you with lovemaking. But he will still remain the same affectionate and caring man.

His willingness to bed you will come unexpectedly, usually during times where you're kind and loving towards him without expecting anything in return. Your intent and motive matters very, very much, you can't lie about it because Yves can see right through you.

To you, it's like a random event. You cannot predict when Yves is going to indulge you in his sexual proclivities, there is no rhyme or reason to it. But if you pay close attention, it usually happens when you're doing things out of love for him or from the kindness of your heart.

It is highly unlikely he will agree to sex if you explicitly ask. It does happen, but it's rare. You still don't understand what factors control the outcome.

You could get it as much as you want only if you share the same views on sex as him. But if you truly share the same opinion, you wouldn't want to participate as much in the first place. Yves sees it as something tremendously sacred and special, it shouldn't be done too frequently lest it loses its significance.

However, if you have depraved fantasies you would want to fulfil, he will play the part and let you experience your own heaven and his personal hell once. Just once. And never again.

Overall, both have very different ideas on sex. Personally, I think Yves would be a much better candidate. He respects your space, but he expects the same respect for his boundaries in return.

If you're more sexually charged though, Montgomery would be a nicer fit. He never seems to run out of spunk and could go at it for days.

[spaceagebachelormann]

zigmar i come to you humbly on this fine evening with the simple request that you give me some sort of might duck sustenance por favor and muchas gracias

they can be incoherent and stupid and goofy and silly to the max i just need to rotate this little kids like rotisserie chickens in my mind (esp fulton portman and julie)

random miscellaneous tmd thoughts !

✧ warnings: some of them may be ooc ngl

✧ additional info: u got it pookums 😈😈😈🙏 also these can be read as either platonic or romantic (not luis)

✧ m.list — nav.

♡ charlie conway !

the most insane taste in music literally ever

bro goes from madonna to death metal SO FAST

but ngl his playlist is always the best and he always gets to play music whenever u go anywhere

but oh my god he’d love pierce the veil in present day

HES ALSO LIKE SOMEHOW AMAZING AT MATH. but he cannot do science for literal shit

also his clothing style changes js like his music taste

will literally be kurt cobain one day and morrissey the next (hed hate morrissey though)

♡ adam banks !

every team sleepover/event/literally anything could js be a spontaneous hangout is always at his house

it’s because he’s rich and his house is huge as fuck and he has every board game known to man

just do not play uno because a fight always breaks out (charlie is always part of it)

he’s always the one who ends the fight also

he has this very calming presence that’s so nice to be around and him js talking to whoever got into a fight immediately helps calm them down

also weirdly good at comforting in the middle of the night but never during the day??

♡ lester averman !

he would watch full house religiously prove me wrong

his favourite character is obviously joey because they are one in the same

everyone on the team and their mother has been forced to watch full house while he’s been at their house/vice versa

he can also cook like. decently well !! it’s not something he’d prefer to do but he will for his friends if they’re tired or smth

♡ fulton reed !

this little shit

he is so unbelievably competitive over the smallest things it’s actually insane

typa guy to race u to see who can get to one side of the room first and start genuinely tweaking if he doesn’t win

at sleepovers he refuses to fall asleep first even if it’s just by a few minutes

he could be dead to the world but still have his eyes open cause he refuses to let u win (unless ur his s/o cause he might consider it that way)

♡ connie moreau !

she is definitely a theatre kid idc

her favourite musicals are probably grease, hairspray and heathers

she likes female main characters!!

everytime she gets into a new fandom she immediately starts thinking abt what it’d be like a musical and probably wanted to be a composer at some point

would 100% beg to use the aux on a road trip and then blast hamilton loud as balls

she wholeheartedly believes six is a top tier musical and she will DIE on this hill

(fun fact i’ve met andrea macasaet <3)

♡ guy germaine !

modern day guy would’ve loved basic white girl music

“life is too short to pretend to hate taylor swift” —him

also 100% a britney spears girlie. and nsync and every stereotypical white girl artist

but i wholeheartedly believe britney would be his favourite and he has her whole discography on cassette, cd, vinyl, u name it he has a britney spears collection

also his ass is NOT straight 💀 i’ve never met a straight man who listens to britney spears

♡ julie gaffney !

lowkey a regina george multitude if she wasn’t kinda. yk. a bad person

she’s a mix of cher and regina

everyone at the fancy ass boarding school literally loves her because she’s calm, smart pretty nice etc etc she’s just a really great person to be around

shes that one student who has every assignment finisher a week early, all a’s and 100% in every subject WITHOUT being mean abt it!!

her ass is friends with the whole student population and knows every well and knows all the drama but won’t tell everyone if she thinks it’s too personal (it’s it’s random petty nonsense she tells the team)

♡ ken wu !

secretly rlly good friends with julie but nobody knows even though they do not try to hide it at all

literally wander the halls talking abt whatever just for everyone to be like “y’all are friends???”

also this man secretly loves lana del rey

him and julie will sit on his bedroom floor and literally tell him the most insane and jaw dropping gossip she heard that day while lana is playing in the background

everytime someone asks his favourite lana song he says grandfather please stand on the shoulders of my father while he’s deep-sea fishing on did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd to fuck with them

♡ dean portman !

is actually very very good at math!!

he was a tutor for the 9th/10th graders for a bit to get volunteer hours and also cause he just likes doing math

you’d expect it to be like doing homework with ur dad and the poor kid is in tears while deans like “WHATS NINE. TIMES TWO.” but he’s actually surprisingly patient

if he’s explained something a few times and they still don’t get it he’ll just try it a different way until they get it and work them through the problem

has rlly strong relationships with the 9th and 10th graders cause of this and is essentially their older brother figure

the amount of 14/15 year olds that he’s given relationship advice too is insane (id be one of the 14 year olds probably)

♡ luis mendoza !

his type is secretly quiet girls cause he finds them rlly interesting and likes the thought of them being happy around him but quiet around everyone else

he’s like yes girl be urself with me

it all stemmed from the girl he liked in 8th grade who helped pick up his pencils when she accidentally knocked his pencil case out of his hand (she was a quiet nerdy girl)

like a whole year later and he’s still trying to rizz her up 💀

he’s one of those guys who takes forever to lose feelings

the girl is actually good friends with him btw

♡ dwayne robertson !

i feel like he is fucking AMAZING at baking

his icon is dolly parton and he heard berry pie so he immediately learned how to bake

if someone he knows has a birthday he either bakes the birthday cake or brings them something he made depending on how close he is with them

and holy shit it’s the most amazing thing u will ever taste and nothing will ever compare

yes he’s one of those guys who will go on an 18 minute tangent on how amazing dolly parton is if someone talks shit about her (same i love dolly)

[succcession]

Kendall Roy ♡ Smut Headcanons

Okay sooo starting strong and maybe controversial but i think Kendall might umm cum kinda fast. But, even if did last a normal/good amount of time I think he would always be insecure that he finished too quickly. 

Sooo because of that little insecurity I think he would always! try to go down on you after he came. Like, even if he just made you cum 3x on his dick he would still be like “come on baby just one more” as he's kissing your clit because he's just so worried about making you feel good!

Kendall being into toys just makes sense to me. Like he definitely would want to try handcuffs. Mostly on you, but I can see him wanting to be handcuffed while you suck his dick or ride him.

He would loveeee to hold a vibrator on your clit until you push him away or literal tears start falling and your screaming “Kendall please oh my god, I- cant-”

I think Kendalls main kink would just be trying to make you cum as much as he can! It would be so reassuring for him that even if he was a fuck up in other ways at least he could make you cum 5x in one night. 

That would keep him going on hard days haha just picturing you waiting for him naked at home.

We ALL know Kendall would be a huge fan of car sex. Gently stroking and squeezing your thigh while you're on your way to some fancy event. Slowly inching his fingers higher, until he starts lightly brushing his fingers tips against your clit. 

He wouldn’t even look at you while he teased you, keeping his focus straight ahead. Would probably do it while he was on the phone. Slowly making you come undone while he talked to Stewy or a possible new investor. 

On the drive home he would purposefully make you moan as loud as possible. Secretly, hoping the driver could hear everything he was doing to you.

I think he would be into taking a shower together after you guys have sex. He just wants to hold you in his arms under the hot water for at least 20 minutes straight.

“Ken maybe we shouldn’t use all the hot water”

“Babe, I don't know if you know this but I’m fucking rich. I’ll have hot water flown in from fucking underwater volcanoes if it means i can hold you longer.”

Then he would wash every single part of your body so gently and soft with soap that probably costs the same as your rent in NYC. Definitely stopping to suck on your nipples, and squeeze your ass

Since a relationship with Kendall might be a bit on/off, make up sex might be a frequent occurrence. Sometimes it would feel like he was trying to start a fight just so you could have rough sex after. 

But once you figured out his little game you started teasing him and not giving in so easily. At first Kendall was pissed. I mean, the poor man already feels so out of control in his life he at least liked getting to be dominant in the bedroom. However, that was until the first time you actually got him to beg to cum. 

You were on top riding him and every time he got close to the edge you would stop. 

“fuck baby don't stop I’m gonna cum”

 as soon as he said that your hips halted. Teasing in his ear “aww baby did you wanna cum in me? Not yet” you did that 3x more times until eventually Kendalls eyes were rolling back and he couldn't stop himself from grabbing your hips and holding you while he fucked up into you, cumming sooo deep inside. 

Ever since that moment occasionally he would let you take control but usually he was the dominate one

Kendall has fantasies of you waking him up with head, and would drop not so subtle hints about it. “Yeah, I think I could just increase my performance if I started everyday with like an orgasm”

His favorite thing in the world is to receive a random nude from you while he's at work but would want it to be kinda special. Like you have on fancy lingerie or you’re taking a bath. Something more than just a mirror pic, but he would gladly take that too!

My brain is just a montage of Radiohead Mitski Kendall edits right now, I could keep going forever! Enjoy♡

[bonefall]

How does Fallenleaf feel about how Ivypool and Dovewing were treated? And what do the latter think about her (Dovewing especially, since i imagine she was compared to her a lot when it came to the prophecy. I can definetely see an exasperated Jayfeather going 'Well Hollyleaf took the prophecy seriously before- when we thought she was part of it). Come to think of it, I can see Dovewing resenting Fallenleaf not only for the comparisons made about her, but also the fact that Jayfeather and Lionblaze let their sister know but she can't tell Ivypool even as they grow more distant. (Granted, Hollyleaf was told BEFORE they realized she wasn't part of the prophecy, but who knows if Dovewing is privy to that. >:3c)

Their relationship is, uh...

Skip back 100 years ago, Holly Leaves the Tyrant ruining ancient society.

She killed Jay Wing with her own two paws, drove Lion Roar out through grief, and then tried to stop Dove Wing from taking the survivors to the mountain

Dove Wing beat her ass. Handed it to her on a silver platter. Folly Leaves could break her brothers, but NOT Dove Wing.

Fallen Leaves for 1,000 seasons in a tunnel: "thank god i never have to see that random person who mcfuckin wrecked me ever again i think i would die of embarassment and/or fear"

Lionblaze, modern day: "we missed you so much... we were terrified when you acted like that, I thought I killed you when we... well... it's time to put that behind us. Are you prepared to meet your nieces? ...i raised them. If you hurt them I'll never forgive you."

Dovewing: (IS THAT RANDOM GUY WHO KICKED HER ASS)

And then Fallen learns Cinderheart went through with the plan to raise them with Lionblaze so Poppyfrost could have access

But that Poppyfrost did not TAKE that access.

So basically Cinderheart went through all this for nothing

AND on top of all the other new information (and she can't entirely remember where she "left off." Was that one's name ALWAYS Honeysnake??)

One of those things is the prophecy. That was only revealed shortly before the Fire Scene in BB, and then the Fire Reveal, Firestar dying, the Gathering Reveal, uhh... what was the gray guy she killed's name again? Asterfall??

Her freakout before getting time travelled is the fuzziest part of her life, she can barely remember half of it and the order of events is totally scrambles egged. Did the fire happen before or after her grandpaw died??

But meanwhile Dovewing's been raised her whole life with Fallenleaf as like, this big missing piece in everyone's lives, she wanted to know the truth about her for her entire existence. Hollyleaf was an impossible standard to live up to, her mother's true love and her Firekin's prodigal child before her.

And now she can't. Because this is obviously not Hollyleaf. This is a big, confused shadow. That's FRUSTRATING. Dovewing is trying really hard at this point to not show how upset she is about this. You mean to say the sad ghost she could hear shuffling around in the tunnels her whole life was her long lost aunt all along?!

THIS is what she was being held up to, all her life? This is why she could never take a break? This is the fuss? Some Fucking Guy?!

Meanwhile Ivypool is trying to mimic the feelings her parents feel. She takes a lot from Lionblaze, desperate to signal to them that she's in the family and cares about the same things they do. I don't think she really feels much of anything towards Fallenleaf at first-- but if they all care together then it feels like they've "come together"

And Dovewing's lack of enthusiasm, or even desperately veiled frustration, is like betrayal. CARE with me, we're supposed to FEEL GOOD about this AS A FAMILY. And if you can't then WELL WELL WELL look who's WINNING AT CARING ABOUT THIS, something very NORMAL and POSSIBLE to do! Surely, I am the better daughter, actually.

And while all that's playing out, Fallenleaf is still like, absolutely haunted by Dovewing being that random person who kicked her ass. She deserved it but like... she killed her brother in an ancient epoch and it turns out his sister in another lifetime is now his daughter in this one. What the fuck. And she looks at her negatively EXTRA what the fuck

I want them all to have a few good scenes together, but I don't think their relationship to Fallenleaf is... strong.

She ends up marrying their mom, Cinderheart. I think for Dovewing, she DOES actually think that's nice for them.

But Ivypool feels threatened. She feels she's going to get replaced.

This is while Lionblaze also ends up moving on with Toadstep, mind you. Both parents are finding new mates and having new kits

Ivypool takes it especially poorly, Dovewing has complicated feelings.

Isn't it just peachy that Cinderheart and Lionblaze COULD have been good parents all along? They just weren't, for you?

Hollylark is their half-sib through CinderxHolly, and Snaptooth and Flywhisker are adopted half-sibs through ToadxLion

When Fallenleaf learns the full story, she feels sorry for how the two were treated. She would controversially support Dovewing's leave; but she isn't the type to do huge confrontations anymore. Since her time as a Tyrant, she has a sort of godly, detatched air about her.

So there wouldn't be any chewings-out of her brothers. She doesn't have that sort of confidence in her own judgement anymore. Trying to control others and tell them how they should sort out their problems caused the Kitty Bronze Age Collapse lmao

[800tz]

LOVE BUZZED

━━━━━━━━━━

Pair: Jesus Christo x F reader

Fandom: Clone high

Warnings: None

Additional: N/N=nickname, H/S=hairstyle, the teacher name is just a random ass name i came up with, also Gandhi's back😝

═════════════════════

The day started off just as any normal Friday morning would, the halls busseling with the familiar faces of Vlad the Impaler and Napoleon, just the usual.

"Y/N! doesn't today seem like it's gonna be crazy? I mean nothing interesting has happened since the nip slip at the rally last week, somethings gotta be coming y'know?" Frida grabbed her skateboard, leaning against the locker next to yours.

"I don't know, I mean I can't really think of a reason for it to be a special day... Besides that Biology test, by the way, did you get it?"

You asked, refering to the answer key you asked her to steal for educational reasons.

"Of course I did, here" as she hands the answer key over, you slide her a piece of bubble gum, her favorite thing in the whole wide world besides her trusty skateboard.

You were walking to class with Frida slowly skating next to you, how days usually started, that was until an unusual interaction would start a chain of events...

"Heyyyy Y/N..so I know I still owe you that 5 dollars, and I promise I'm working on it! but I need a favor.." Gandhi appeared in front of you, out of nowhere, blocking your path.

rolling your eyes, you thought 'what more could he possibly need' he looked at you with his sad attempt at puppy dog eyes.

"What" you ask blankly, "Well, I need you to meet Joan in the bathroom..." he states. You noticed his nervous stance, he was visibly sweaty, tapping his pointer fingers together, avoiding eye contact.

"Ok, what tim-" immediately you were cut off by being shoved to the girls room "like right now" he blurts. Soon enough you were standing in a stall with Joan.

"Whats up" you asked tiredly, Joan didn't look half as nervous as Gandhi did, probably because she hasn't owed you $5 since the 6th grade.

"Ok, before you judge me, let me explain what happened first!" she says with wide eyes

"Basically, what happened was... "

FLASHBACK

━━━━━━━━━

"Did you hear about that party Catherine the Great's throwing" Gandhi whispered, Abe looked at him quickly, "No? She's throwing a party? When? Is Cleo gonna be there?!" he babbled.

"Probably, but I doubt she'd invite us... Unless we had a way in" Joan smiled to herself, "I have an idea" Joan said.

"Yeah! Last weeks trip was sooooo wild right Gandhi?" Joan exclaimed loudly, Gandhi looked at all the eyes on him and immediately hid himself behind some menus.

"Right Gandhi??" Joan pushed, "O-oh yeah, totally! What did we do? Acid was it?" he yelled, "What are you guys talking about? We didn't do anything last wee-ouch!" Joan kicked Abe in the shin from beneath the table.

"Yeah! Huh thank goodness I brought the stuff!" Joan continues. Now, more than a few eyes were on them, almost the whole diner was looking their direction.

"Oh yeah, I know TONS of dealers!" Joan exclaimed, Catherine looked at her with the biggest smile ever, "You do!?" she overheard Joan talking at the table behind her.

Catherine jumped into the booth next to Joan, "Yeah, I do, why? do you need anything?" asked Joan.

"Yeah I do actually! I don't know if you heard but I'm throwing this party next Friday, and it would be totally lame without something to spice it up" Catherine frowned

"But if you have something, you guys could totally come" she says with a smile, "YES! Yes! We can totally have some by next Friday!" Gandhi declares, while standing on the booth.

"Wait-" Joan could barely get a word out before Catherine interrupted her with a clap, "Cool! You guys are totally invited! Don't forget the stuff or else I'll be totally pissed, anyways, thanks! See you at the party!" Catherine swiftly grabbed her purse and exited the diner.

"Gandhi.... Why would you do that! How are we supposed to get that much weed by next Friday?!" Joan whisper yelled across the table. "Uhhh I don't know... You think she's into me?" he asks, smiling very widely.

"No Gandhi, she's not- never mind that! You realize the entire school is going to be at this party? There's no way we're gonna get it in time!" Joan sighs.

Gandhi gulps, realizing the gravity of is rash decision making, "W-well, I think I know someone"

END OF FLASHBACK

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"So yeah.. That's what happened" Joan sighed, you rubbed your face, the situation already stressing you out to the max

"And you waited till Friday morning to tell me?" you ask. "Well Gandhi wouldn't stop getting all scared to ask you! Just please help me out, I'll do your homework for the whole rest of the year if you do this ONE LITTLE thing for me!" Joan begs.

"I wish I could but I don't even smoke sooo I don't know why Gandhi would even tell you to ask me, I'm sorry but I wish I could-" Joan grabbed your shoulders tightly.

"What do you mean you don't smoke? You mean you know people who do right? Gandhi told me you were close friends with Jesus" Joan panicked.

"What? No I went to middle school with Jesus, but we weren't close, and no, I don't know anyone who does" you tell her.

"Ah! That's it! I'll go talk to Jesus! He'll have something!" she cheered. The more you thought about it, the more you just couldn't shake it, why on earth would Gandhi think you were close with Jesus?

"Hey Joan! Before you go, did Gandhi tell you why he thought Jesus and I were close?" Joan quickly gathered her things before heading out to class.

"He said he talks about you a lot or something, anyways thank you so much! I'll see you at the party tonight right?" she asks,"Yup" and just like that she was gone.

You sat down next to Frida, only a few minutes later than usual. "What was that all about?" Frida whispers over the monotone teacher's lecture.

"It's kind of a long story but basically, Catherine the Great is throwing a party tonight, and Gandhi told her he has a ton of weed that he could take to the party" you explain.

"Ok? So what does that have to do with you?" Frida asks, "Well, the problem is Gandhi doesn't have any weed, so he asked me if I had anything because... Because apparently he thought I was 'close' with Jesus" you say.

"Jesus Christo?" she looks at me shocked, "Yeah, isn't that weird? Joan said he talks about me a lot or something" you say.

"Huh weird, maybe he likes you!" Frida teases,"No way! Shut up" you giggle "Anyways, we're going to that party right?" Frida asks, "Oh for sure" you smile, fist bumping Frida.

"Kahlo, L/N, something you wanna share?" Mr Bonner asks, Frida only pops a bubble loudly in response. "Alrighty" Mr Bonner moves on quickly.

LUNCH TIME

━━━━━━━━━

"Why did you tell me that she knew a guy?" Joan quizzed, Gandhi rubbed his head "Well it's not my fault! Jesus won't shut up about some girl in English! Maybe it wasn't her!" Gandhi sighed, "We're totally not gonna make it to that party huh" he whined.

"We will as soon as you go talk to Jesus-" Joan starts, Gandhi stands up triumphantly, "That's it! I'll go talk to Jesus!" he says, walking towards his table.

"Almost like that's what I just said" Joan sighs while putting a spoonful of peas into her mouth.

Jesus was sitting pretty deep into the cafeteria, with a group of other stoner kids, he was surprisingly sober. "Hey, can I talk to you... Alone" all the laughing stopped immediately.

"Of course homes, whats going on?" he asks with his usual fluid voice, ending up in the hallway together, Gandhi began to explain the circumstance he found himself in.

"You smoke weed right?" Gandhi awkwardly asks, "'Course I do homes"... "Well uh, I'm kind of in a tough spot.. You see I kinda...overestimated... And I’m gonna need some- a lot of weed actually, I can pay you! I just- please man" Gandhi explains.

Jesus hums to himself, "oohhh I see, you promised someone a lot of stuff but then you actually didn't have anything but you need it cuz if you don't they'll get all angry? I been there before homes I been there" he says.

"So you'll help me?! Thanks man! You have no idea-" Gandhi's cheers were quickly interrupted, "Ehh I would, tch but I'm fresh out homes, and my plugs outta town" Jesus shrugs.

"Dude! Are you serious right now?!" Gandhi whines, "Stone cold homes" Jesus says bluntly, Gandhi whines loudly.

Jesus laughs loudly, "Haha! You shoulda seen your face homes! You were all like uuughhhhhh!" he laughs. "Wait so you were joking?" Gandhi looks up at him with hopeful eyes.

"Of course man, but I'll only help you on one condition ey" Gandhi looks at him, he would do absolutely anything to get laid at this point, "Whatever it is, I'll do it just tell me who I have to kill-"

"Woah relax, take a hit! You say you'll do anything ey?" Jesus holds out his pinky finger, "Anything" Gandhi pinky promises.

"That was a pinky promise homes, that means it's sacred ey, if you break it, something bad will happen, something very very bad" he puts his arm around Gandhi.

Gandhi gulps, "Of course man!" he says nervously, having absolutely no idea what he's getting himself into.

"Alright alright, I want you to set me up with that one super hot chick with the H/S, Y/N, man I had my eye on her since middle school homes, I just been too scared to talk to her and you pinky promised so now you have to homes" Jesus smiled

Gandhi was relieved it wasn't something as bad as he thought it would be, but don't get him twisted it was still a very difficult feat.

"Y/N?" Gandhi asks, Jesus pulls his wallet out, he fumbled with it for a moment before unfolding a yearbook page, he slid his finger down the page before reaching her picture.

The yearbook page had been from years before, it was a middle school picture of you, braces gleaming embarrassingly bright, almost popping off the page.

"Ooohh Y/N?! You have a crush on Y/N!?-" Jesus put his hand over Gandhi's Mouth almost immediately, "Shhh ey be quiet homes! Not so loud!" Jesus said.

Gandhi nodded, "ooooohhh I got you man! Your secrets safe with me! You won't regret it!" Gandhi led Jesus out the back door of the school, not to be seen by a single soul.

END OF SCHOOL DAY

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Do you wanna come over?" you ask Frida, "Nah, I'll skate home today, see you at the party" Frida says her goodbyes before skating away.

Who wouldn't be excited for a party, today was the best day ever!

Oops, spoke too soon...

"Aw come on! Are you kidding me!" the tires were slashed, absolutely demolished, "Well it looks like I'll be getting a ride... Hey Joan! Can I ride with you! My tires are slashed!" you yelled over to the red headed girl.

"Sure, hop in" she says, you hopped into the passenger seat feeling lucky that you wouldn't have to walk home.

The ride to your house was quiet because you couldn't quiet get Jesus off of your mind, you've only spoken like once, what if he really did have a crush on you? I mean why though? you don't know each other at all! Whatever, it's basically the weekend, you should be focusing on yourself right now, yeah!

As Joan pulled up to your house, you thanked her and walked towards the door, thankfully your foster parents were on vacation so you were free to party!

When you check your backpack for your house keys, it's almost like over night you became the most unlucky person on earth because of course your keys were missing!

"For fucks sake" you mumbled to yourself, walking over to Joan's car and stepping back in, "Welp looks like I'm locked out" you smiled to her, "Its cool, now we can get ready for Catherines party together!" you smiled at each other as you drove to Joan’s house.

JOANS HOUSE

━━━━━━━━━━━

It was almost time for the party, you had put on some makeup, but you couldn't really eat anything because you still couldn't stop thinking about Jesus, what was going on?

"Ugh" Joan grunts next to you, looking at her flip phone with a stressed out expression. "What is it? Did you get the whole weed situation figured out?" you ask

"Yup! Everythings fine! Totally fine I promise!" Joans reaction weren't exactly what you wanted to hear, but it was enough for you not to worry too much.

The minutes ticked by quickly, soon enough you were in Joan’s car listening to the plans for who you were picking up.

"Ok so we're gonna drive to Gandhi's house, park there, pick up his van, and then we're picking up Abe and Jesus. Gandhi said we were taking a quick pitstop somewhere but he didn't say where" Joan explains.

You didn't think before you spoke "Wait Jesus is coming with us?" you blurt out. Joan looked at you confused, "Yeah, is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, nothing, also whats that pitstop? He didn't say anything about it?" you asked, as Joan put the car in drive, she looked at you and smiled, "Nope!"

Soon enough you were in a sticky van with Abe, Joan, Ghandi and Jesus. "Ok so where is this pitstop? You said it was on the way" Joan says.

Jesus leaned over the passenger seat from the back, pointing towards street ahead, "Just keep going this way homes, I'll tell you when to stop" the car was mostly silent other than Abe and Ghandi talking about all the girls they would bang at the party.

"Eyy how have you been Y/N, I haven't seen you since the 8th grade homes, how's it going" Jesus was sprawled across the van from me, picking the shag carpet lightly.

You're eyes widened suddenly at the sudden sound of your name "Well I've been alright, how about you" I replied shyly, Jesus sighs "Nothing much..." he trails off, still picking the carpet.

"I see you grew out that catfish stash" you joke, "Eyy don't trash Jesus Junior" he laughed while combing his goatee.

"Ey you remember when that one guy with the bug eyes threw up in gym and the teacher got all angry cuz he was throwing up everywhere and then bug eyed kid threw up on the teacher?" he giggles

"Kinda, wasn't that Tommy G?" you thought, "Yeah! Oh man, I'll never forget the look on your face, you were all like" Jesus widened his eyes an made an over exaggerated shocked expression with his mouth.

"I did not look like that!" you pushed his shoulder slightly, "Eh I think you did N/N" he pokes. N/N?...N/N, he gave you a nickname, and you actually liked it.

Jesus wasn't as serious as you thought he'd be, he looks a little intimidating from the outside, but now that you'd talked talked to him he was actually really cool!

"Ey stop right there homes" Jesus leaned over the passenger seat, Joan stopped the car quickly. "That's his place, we gotta break in there and get the stuff" Jesus says calmly.

"Break in?! I thought you said you were joking!" Ghandi panicks, "I lied, sorry about that, but ey relax it'll be easy, we'll need someone to distract the guard dog while I sneak in and get it" Jesus explains.

It was about 9 o'clock at night, the neighborhood was very sketchy, definitely not the best place for a group of teenagers to be.

After a lot of yelling and "not its" Gandhi spoke up, "I'll go" he sighs, everyone looked at him shocked "I'm the one who got us into this, and I'm gonna get us to that party or die trying!" he declares.

"Gandhi.." Joan whispers, Jesus smiles, "Great, lets go". Gandhi and Jesus stepped out of the van, sneaking over to the side of the house.

"Ok, I'm gonna put you over the fence and then I'm gonna go in through the window and let the dog out, you have to keep him busy for about 5 minutes homes, you think you can do that?" Jesus explained the plan to him.

Gandhi high fived Jesus and nodded. I watched from the window as Gandhi hopped onto Jesus's shoulders dropping into the backyard.

Jesus snuck in through an open window, the big dog barked loudly at Gandhi outside of the screen door, Jesus opened it and from the van all we heard was...

"Ahh!!! Good boy! Ouch come on hurry up man!" Gandhi was running in circles away from the angry dog.

A few minutes of loud barking was interrupted by Jesus jumping over the fence with a half naked Gandhi.

They jumped into the van almost so fast that you didn't see them, "GO! GO DRIVE JOAN HURRY!" Gandhi yelled.

The van sped off, throwing you and Gandhi onto Jesus, you looked up at him, he smiled widely, not in a creepy way but in more of an 'it's cool' sorta way.

The car gradually slowed down, "Did you get it" Gandhi huffs, Jesus reaches into his jacket, pulling out a big bag of weed, "I got rolling paper too, N/N's gonna help me roll them!" he puts his arm around me in a friendly way.

There I was, in the back of a van rolling blunts with Jesus and a mostly naked Gandhi.

As soon as we arrived at the party, everyone nearly went feral at the sight of a blunt, everyone plunged their gross teenage hands into the bag, by the time everyone was satisfied there was only one left.

"Ey N/N, wanna hit this with me?" Jesus offers, you had never smoked before...but you wanted to seem cool to him right now so you swallowed your fear and went for it.

"Sure" Jesus smiled, pulling out his lighter and lead you out of the house, "I've got a perfect spot, check this out homes" Jesus grins

"Ey Gandhi, hold onto this for me, thanks man" Jesus tossed Gandhi his flip phone. Gandhi gave Jesus a thumbs up and a smile, Jesus copied him and continued on his journey.

TIMESKIP

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The party was a full on hit, almost everyone at school was here, on the dance floor was Gandhi, still only in his boxers and socks, but that didn't matter now! It was party time!

'BZZZZT! BZZZZT!'

Jesus's phone buzzed in Gandhis sweaty boxers, causing him to forget that it wasn't his phone "Hey! Wuzzzaaapp!!!" he slurs into the speaker.

"Ey wussup homie, yo check this, I'm heading home in a few, I gotta new stash of some real crazy shiz, herbal blend type shit, anways, you should stop by homes I'll be at the crib in a few" the voice on the other line spoke.

Gandhi's heart dropped for the millionth time that night, "T-totally, ey I gotta go bye" he hung up quickly, saving his ass in the process.

Gandhi shoved his way through the crowd to the kitchen where he found Joan downing a can of beer, "uh Joan?" Gandhi yells over the music.

"Heyy, hows it goin~ do you think I should dye my hair blue??? Or is it just me-you know I feel great right now-" Joan immediately lurched over the sink and puked herself sober

"Joan! We have a serious problem!" Gandhi yells, Joan wearily lifts her head up, "What is it this time" she asks.

"Well uh, Jesus's plug is coming back... Tonight.... Right now.." He explains, Joan looked at him with wide eyes, "oh my god! Were gonna go to jail for breaking and entering! We're criminals Gandhi! Filthy! Dirty criminals!" Joan cries.

Gandhi thinks for a second, "Well not if we put it all back!" he proposes, Joan furrowed her brows "Lets go!" she drags Gandhi by his shoulder back to the van.

"What about Jesus and Y/N?! We can't just leave the-" Joan put her finger up to Gandhi's lips, "There's no time! We gotta hurry! Hop in the back and start putting the little crumbs into the bag-"

As Joan pulled the van doors open widely, a shocking scene appeared, you were only in your bra and bottoms, you're shirt thrown off to the side lazily, along with Jesus's jacket. You were placed on his lap, him holding himself up on his elbows.

Joan looked at the two of you with wide eyes, "Eyy up top!" Gandhi holds his hand up expectingly, only to be shoved into the van.

As the car sped off, you swiftly grabbed your shirt and tried your best to fan the herbal mist out the window. "Sooo did you guys go.....all the way?" Gandhi asks with a perverted grin.

You thought back at the moments before they arrived, your adrenaline still pumping from the excitement of doing something you weren't supposed to.

FLASHBACK

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Jesus led you back out to Gandhi's van. He opened the back doors for you, letting you in first then soon hopping in behind. "Ey we can hotbox" he smiles.

You were quite nervous, this being one of the rare occasions of you being alone with a boy. "Ey have you ever done this before? You look hella nervous" Jesus says while preparing to flick the lighter

"What are you talking about? I-I do this all the time" you lie, he looks at you blankly for a moment, "Kidding.. " you cringe at yourself, why would you say that, like why?

Jesus lights the joint, the herbal smell already filling the vehicle, he takes a long, beep breath in, sighing happily when he's finished.

"Here" he hands the joint to you, you take it cautiously, not really knowing what to do. Building your courage up, you slowly drew the joint closer to your lips, 'don't embarrass yourself'

"HACK HACK!" as soon as you tried to take a deep breath in, violent coughs errupted from your throat, this could't possibly get any worse

"Woah, you alright?" he pats your back gently, "no" you strain. Jesus sits you up gently, taking the joint from your hands he smiles.

"Tch, no need to be embarrassed, it happens to everyone" he grins. You tried your best to not run out of the van and into oncoming traffic.

"Ey how about we shotgun" he suggests, you look at him curiously, what the hell is shotgunning? You just looked at him blankly.

"Come here" he says gently, you sat uncomfortably close to him face to face, your cheeks getting warmer by the second.

You watched as he placed the joint between his soft lips, you couldn't help but look into his deep black eyes, wondering what kind of person layed behind them, just out of your reach.

He as he breathed in, crazy thoughts ran through your mind, you thought about kissing him....With tongue!

He came a little bit closer and blew the smoke into your face, you breathed it in, the task now feeling a lot easier.

"Tch see, I knew you could do it" he jokes, you laugh a little causing you to cough lightly. "Wanna try again?" he grins expectantly.

You thought about it, even if you guys did make out, it probably wouldn't turn into anything, but that might be a better reason to do it! But it's just all so confusing!

"Sure" you smile as he came closer. Nothing could stop you now, you would have his tongue in your mouth by the end of the night, even if it killed you!

Just like before, he dragged the smoke into his mouth, then he blew the smoke into your face, getting just a little bit closer than last time.

You couldn't tell if it was the marijuana, or if it was some newly grown balls, but you knew that the next shotgun, you would kiss him.

And sure enough when he came close, and blew the smoke into your face, you pressed your lips gently onto his, moving your lips gently on his.

The joint was long forgotten by the time you held onto his jacket, pulling his lips closer. It felt liberating! You pulled away, his face was slightly red, his hat and halo shitfed slightly.

His eyes were glued to you, he couldn't believe this was happening, Y/N L/N was making out with him in a van outside of Catherine the Greats house!

He leaned up, not wanting this moment to end, he kissed you passionately, holding your cheeks softly, he couldn't get enough of you.

The two of you ended up on the floor, you on top of him. He held onto your hips as you removed your shirt revealing your lacy bra. Jesus's eyes widened, you felt something unfamiliarly hard beneath your crotch, but you and I both know what that was.

He sat himself on his elbows, watching as you unbuttoned his jacket tantalisingly slow. With each button, you kissed him.

He lifted his hand up to move some stray pieces of hair out of your face, that's when the van doors suddenly opened. "Ah!" you yelped, Jesus only looked at the figures with a shocked expression.

The figures turned out to be Gandhi and Joan. Joan looked at the two of you with disgust, while Gandhi grined widely "Eyy! Up top!" he puts his hand up expectingly, only to be shoved into the back by Joan.

END OF FLASHBACK

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"What with the rush homes?" Jesus questions, Gandhi fills the two of you in on the situation, you not being able to focus too well thanks to the events that occured prior.

"Where are we supposed to get all of that? Is he gonna kill us? This is totally freaking me out!" Joan panicks. The car swerves wildly throughout the city, both Gandhi and Joan screaming with fear.

This situation had sobered you slightly, you thought carefully about what you could do to fix the situation, you thought a little bit but then you remembered!

"STOP THE CAR!" you yelled, the whole car went silent at the sound of your loud voice. Joan pulled over cautiously, as soon as the car came to a halt, everyone looked back at you expectantly.

"I have an idea"

TIMESKIP

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There you Jesus, Joan, and Gandhi were in all black, ski masks keeping your identities a secret. The four of you stood outside of the hospital, "If I'm correct, theres medical marijuana in there, and I know it might not be the same thing but its our last hope" you sigh.

All four of you walked up to the window, you held Gandhi up to the window, "Remember, try to be stealthy!" you whisper, he nods, holding his hand like a gun, "agent tan incoming" he says

That's when he dove through the window, shattering it loudly, the three of you left outside cringed, but it was too late to chicken out.

Jesus lifted you up into the window, next was Joan, then finally you and Joan pulled Jesus up. Gandhi stood there against the wall, holding his hands like guns, "I told you to be quiet! Theres security here!" you scold.

Gandhi keeps his mouth shut, still playing into his stoic agent act." alright, my foster mom works here, she talks about the stash all the time, it should be on the third floor" you say.

The four of you tiptoed through the hospital, trying your best not to be caught by staff or patients, but it was getting pretty hard since Gandhi was apparently addicted to acting stupid.

Once you made it to the third floor, you took a bag each, jackpot! You all quietly celebrated, thats when you heard keys jingling at the door.

You, Joan and Jesus all dove behind some shelves, Gandhi stood in front of the door. The door opened revealing a tall muscular man in a security guard outfit.

"Stop right there! You have the right to remain tan!" Gandhi shouts while diving out the window, you face palmed. But it wasn't the time for shenanigans, it was now or never.

The three of you ran for it, exiting the hospital swiftly, on your way out you found Gandhi hanging on a tree branch, you grabbed him and ran to the van, making a swift getaway!

As soon as you guys made it to calm ground, you all took a big breath of relief, but there was still one last thing to do.

As Joan drove towards the drug dealers home, a calming silence fell amongst you. You sat next to Jesus, leaning your head on his shoulder.

He tapped you on your leg, you looked into his eyes, "When this is all over, wanna hangout sometime?" he asks shyly, you smile "sure" you whisper.

Closing your eyes gently for just a moment to collect your mind. Unbeknownst to you, Gandhi gave Jesus a thumbs up, Jesus doing the same.

Once the car parked, Joan looked back "Jesus, this is it, don't fail us now" she says seriously, he just nods and heads off into the home through the window.

You all waited with anticipation, watching silently. Thats when a red car suddenly pulled up, it was the dealer! You started to sweat, what if he got caught? Or worse...shot?

You could tell that Gandhi and Joan were thinking the same thoughts, thats when suddenly, out of the shadows, Jesus came rushing out from behind the home!

He hopped into the van with all of us cheering for our victory, "Drive!" we all yelled.

We ended up at The Grassy Knoll, parked in the parking lot enjoying our shakes and fries.

"That was crazy! Did you guys see how I dove out of that window! I was so badass! I was like 'shing! bam! Kapow!' stop right there" he says the last part with an over exaggerated deep voice.

We all laughed at his interpretation of the situation, we all sat watching the sun rise together peacefully.

"Wait, wheres Abe?" Gandhi pipes up.

MEANWHILE

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"Where am I?" a disgruntled Abraham Lincoln asks. He was fully naked on a pool floaty, beer cans surrounding him in the water.

"Joan? Y/N?! GANDHI?!"

THE END

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