#i mentioned this a long time ago but i wanted to make a weapon design for asmo

[gifti3]

Really into the concept of weilding your partner as a weapon

[villainofmyownstory]

Day Zero chapter 4

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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader

summary: Your horror and fear after what happened at the town hall are mixed with hope. Unfortunately, the newly met man in the mask doesn't make things any easier for you. He is stubborn and distrustful. However, when night comes, he takes you to his only safe place. To his house. Home.

tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, weapon, suicide

author's note: I decided to post a new chapter today, unfortunately I'm having a worse time in my life again…. I hope it will get better soon. The longest chapter so far, let me know what you think.

Warning!! Mention of a suicide attempt, if you don't want to or can't read this, skip the parts where day 64 is referred to. Your mental health is more important! Take care of yourself, dear reader.

AO3

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Chapter 4: The one where you visit Ghost's house

Day 732

Getting to the tower by car definitely shouldn't take as long as your hike. The distance to cover, from the center to the suburbs, did not seem so far. You both remain silent the entire way. Ghost keeps looking in the rearview mirror while driving. As if he had to make sure you were still sitting on the trunk. When it reduces speed or (worse) brakes to almost zero on the odometer. His gaze focuses on the mirror. As if the man expected you to take advantage of the opportunity and jump out of the car, taking Riley with you. You will run away and disappear, just as you suddenly and unexpectedly appeared.

Admittedly, you had no intention of doing so. Quite the opposite. You wanted to stay. Even though the man was hostile towards you, you were sure of that. Damn, he wanted to shoot you!

Like a hunter hunting a defenseless deer. A sniper in war, shooting at a designated, nameless target. Without blinking an eye, in cold blood, in one breath. Shot. Exhale. End.

Without even exchanging a word with you. Without asking you anything. Not wanting to know anything. One shot and you're done, you wouldn't even feel it. He pulled the trigger without hesitation.

Remembering what happened a dozen or so minutes ago, you clench your hands into fists. Rubbing the material of your gloves against each other. Feeling the rough material slide over the skin of your hand. You try to focus exactly on that feeling.. You don't want to let fear and terror get the best of you. Breathe, slowly. Don't let these bad thoughts defeat you. Luckily for you, the man didn't do anything to you. Maybe he is also a lost and lonely man. Who is slowly losing his mind under these circumstances. He can't cope. Just like you.

You swallow. The hands are still tightly clenched into fists. Your hands are sweaty from stress.

The sun slowly hides behind the buildings, getting darker with each passing minute. The night is getting closer. The car is traveling at a higher speed. There are fewer and fewer buildings, they are probably suburbs, so you are getting closer to your goal - the tower.

You have to be strong, not show weakness. Focus. To listen carefully. Observe.

Although it's all Ghost, he has the upper hand. He has the most important argument and strength - he has a gun. Also, he's in his own territory and is undoubtedly a man with military training. He's taller and better built than you. Definitely stronger and athletic. Yet you try to control another panic attack, you won't give in to him so easily. You may not be in a lost position. You just have to convince him somehow. After all, somehow he has to believe that you came here alone. If you gain his trust without lying to him, maybe he'll let you stay. You don't really have anywhere to go back to. That house somewhere far away wasn't fit to live in for another winter. No heating, a leaking roof, you could list more defects. And the food supply in the area was running out, you found almost everything edible. You didn't know if it would be safe to return to that place.

You swallow. Your hands are still clenched into fists. Sweaty from stress.

The sun slowly hides behind the buildings, getting darker by the minute. The night is getting closer. The car is traveling at an increasing speed. There are fewer and fewer buildings, probably suburbs, so you are getting closer to your goal - the tower.

You have to be strong, not show weakness. Focus. To listen carefully. Observe.

Without a doubt, the whole Ghost guy, has an advantage over you. He has the most important argument and power - he has a gun. Besides, he is in his own territory and is undoubtedly a man with military training. Higher and much better built than you. Stronger. Athletic. But, if you are trying to control another panic attack, you won't give in to him so easily. You may not be in a lost position. You just have to convince him somehow. After all, he has to believe in some way that you came here alone. If you gain his trust without lying to him, maybe he will let you stay. You don't really have anywhere to go back to. That house somewhere far away, is uninhabitable for another winter. There's no heating, the roof is leaking. And food supplies were running out in the area, you could find almost anything edible. You don't know if it would be safe to go back there.

This town you are in now is the only one of the larger ones in this area. He seems to be better organized, definitely better than you. You haven't even found a car in working order with at least a little bit of fuel in the tank. So maybe it's better to stay with him. It will be easier to survive. Maybe the two of you can find other people?

Maybe the man knows something more, maybe he knows about a settlement, a safe place? Some larger group of living people? Maybe there is some hope.

Meeting this man caused a small spark that some future might exist.

Although it is probably not difficult, you have never been able to plan or predict. You lived in the moment. Not worrying too much about what the next day will bring. Not really taking into account.

The consequences of your actions or, inversely, your inaction. It's time to grow up, the worried voices of your parents echo in your head. Well, maybe you should have listened to them.

You sigh and look away from the passing suburban landscape, still lost in your own thoughts. You look down for a moment, at your protruding belly and wide thighs. You haven't even lost much weight in the last two years. You blame it on your bad, inappropriate diet. You mainly ate carbohydrates and cans of ready-made or sweetened food. You found any canned vegetables less and less often. Lots of cans of carbonated drinks and lots of sweets. Not to mention salty snacks. It was easier that way. Everything had long expiration dates and was tightly packed. Thanks to this food, you satisfy your hunger and provide your body with endorphins. Fighting with your own bad, dark thoughts, when you had supplies of food and drink. You simply lay in bed on the mattress for weeks. Vegetating, waiting. Counting on... you didn't know what.

You look back at the passing landscape, individual buildings and road signs. City exit sign, highway exit, empty fields.

You regret that in the past you were never interested in the army. You didn't even know what military unit this man was from. The only thing that was clear to you was the British flag attached to his uniform. Maybe it meant something? Perhaps he was here for a reason?

Even now, when the cold of the coming evening and the breeze caused by the speed of the car caress your cheeks and exposed neck. This causes goosebumps and reddened cheeks. It was bearable, the feeling of cold wasn't really that bad.

The most significant thing is that you no longer have to walk.

The important thing is that after so many days you at last found hope.

The fact that you are finally not alone.

You choose not to think about it any longer, clinging to Riley, thanking him without words for saving him. You calm down a little.

When you finally arrive at your destination, the man hurriedly gets out of the car and opens the trunk with a gun in one hand.

“Riley stays with me”

If you don't mind the penetrating chill of the coming evening, the coldness in the man's voice definitely makes you shiver.

‘And you, woman, go into the building and tell your people to leave. I have you in my sights all the time.’

You don't have the strength to argue with him. Another exchange of words makes no sense at this point. You dream of eating something and finally taking off those damn shoes. Your legs hurt so terribly. Subconsciously, you already know that a verbal battle with this man is pointless now. He won't believe you anyway, he has to see for himself. See what you keep telling him.

One thing you were sure of right from the start. This guy was definitely confident and he didn't tolerate a word of disagreement, he knew best. Stubborn. Probably soulless, a killing machine. Who knows what bad shit he'd done in the past?

So as you slowly walk towards the building next to the tower, you wonder if your back might get shot. Simple and clear. He will execute you and this will all be over. Perhaps it would have been better. Maybe that was your end.

Fate. Destiny.

Maybe these two years of loneliness and torment were supposed to end this way. Your body will remain near the tower as a warning to other travelers. If anyone but the two of you had survived this long. Because during these few months, without seeing any sign of another person's life, you began to believe that you were completely alone. That somehow you were the only one who survived.

Day 64

You

You didn't think the crisis would come so quickly. That you will lose faith. You didn't see any solution to the situation, or there never was one.

You weren't the type of person who was sad, emotional, or prone to depression. You were always a ray of light, a cheerful green pea, as your dad used to say.

But now, as more days passed, more days of darkness, emptiness, silence. Fucking loneliness.

You couldn't handle it.

You have stopped looking out the window for hours, hoping that your loved ones will come home.

That some familiar face will save you. That someone will break the silence.

The worst were the sleepless nights. Curled up somewhere in a corner or hidden in a bathroom, somewhere in a room without windows. As far away from the outside walls as possible.

You gave up really fast. And you made one most important decision. And that day, early in the morning, when the first rays of sunlight appeared in the sky. You left the house at a brisk pace and easily reached your destination without stopping. Standing in front of the abandoned pharmacy, you knew why and for what you had come here. Without blinking an eye, you went inside and quickly found the right packages and took them from the shelves. Then, just as efficiently, you hurried back to the empty family house.

However, as you crossed the threshold of the building, the familiar smell, so close to your heart reached your nostrils. Home, the family nest. The door slammed behind you and then, for the first and only time, you hesitated.

Just as you had done for years, now, you called out to the empty rooms.

“Mom? Dad? Sis?... I'm back..."

Silence.

Nobody answered.

Emptiness.

So that was a sign, no one was there. And the decision was made, there was no turning back.

Sitting down on a chair in the dining room, you carefully unpacked the contents of the packages you brought. Earlier, you prepared a kitchen mortar and a glass of water.

Slowly, systematically, one by one, you place tablets of different sizes on the bottom of the agate dish. You don't know what quantity is right. Probably the bigger the better. The more the faster. The larger the quantity, the much painless it should be. You hope so. End the pain. Put an end to this misery.

Stirring slowly with a heavy stone pestle, you don't worry that some of the grinded medicine, will fall on the table. White powder stains the dining room table and your jeans.

Nobody will see the mess anyway. And if they do, they won't pay attention to such a detail anyway. They're more likely to notice you.

You pour the ground contents into a glass of water. Hoping that some of it will dissolve and make it easier for you to drink.

Bitterness. This is all you feel.

The cold water with the crushed tablets slowly passes down your throat into your stomach.... The bitterness on your tongue. The ground up undissolved pieces irritate your gums, sticking like sand between your teeth. You feel the acid under your tongue. Something in your throat.

You slowly swallow the rest of the mixture in the glass. Now you just have to wait. You fall asleep.

Alone.

But you won't wake up on your own. Eternal peace. Eternal peaceful sleep.

Maybe it'll be better if there's anything waiting for you afterward. If only this pain would go away.

That's what you're counting on. Well, you haven't been good at math since kindergarten.

Day 732 

Finally, after a long while of walking, with a feeling of fear, with the gun pointed at your back, you reach the door of the building. With a deep sigh, slightly irritated by this whole protracted situation, you open the door

“Hey guys, come out.”

With irony in your voice, you look at the man standing at a notable distance from you.

"You see? Like I said, no one. here. There isn't"

You say angrily, clenching your fists. After a few moments, you turn on your heel and cross your arms over your chest, waiting for Ghost to move. Whatever was going on in his head right now was starting to irritate you. Constant silence on his part, and when he did have something to say. It was his words that were cold, harsh. Angry, rough commands. He addresses you without respect.

In fact, he treats you worse than a dog.

“I'll shoot you if no one comes out soon."

Ghost adjusted the gun resting on his shoulder, still aiming at you.

“No one will come out of this building...”

You sigh.

“...maybe you'll finally believe me and we'll end this nonsense? If this is how you host all your guests. I'd rather not know how my predecessors ended up.”

You add, exhaling loudly through your nose

“And I don't really want to find out”

While waiting for the man's reaction, you look at him closely. Why is he so hostile? Why does he still not believe you?

Yes, no one had the right in these strange times to trust anyone or anything, however, you appeared in the area defenseless. Without any weapons. You didn't even think to bring a knife with you. Nothing for possible self-defense. So he, after all, was just plain stubborn.

Finally, the man slowly, silently approaches you and searches the inside of the building.

Of course there is no one inside.

Paying no attention to you, the masked man turned around and moves back toward the vehicle.

“Let's go. There's not much time left.”

He throws over his shoulder in your direction. Nothing more, no apologies, you're right. I believe you now. No remorse, no understanding. Heartless, strange, Ghost.

As you sit next to the dog, with your back to the boot, the man starts the car with a squeal of tyres. The speed of the car is definitely higher. You are going too fast, even though there are no other road users besides you. It's as if Ghost is racing against the setting sun. Every now and then he nervously checks his watch and turns his head over his shoulder, towards the western sky. And so on and on.

The streets grow darker and darker. Night is coming. Nightfall.

This time you are heading in a different direction from the centre. A new, unfamiliar one. With Riley at your side, you watch the changing landscape with curiosity. Crowded, densely built-up streets with many tall buildings turn into new suburbs. Single family houses and wide pavements with overgrown yards appear before our eyes. This must once have been a nice, quiet and green neighbourhood. Families with children probably spent their best moments here, enjoying a happy life together. The middle class probably lived here and worked hard for every square metre. After school, children rode their bikes on the wide streets or ran on the green, evenly mowed lawns.

Once. Past. Memories.

Finally, after several minutes of crazy driving, the man parks the car next to one of the houses. Hurriedly he gets out and opens the garage door with a flourish.

Ghost quickly pulls in and reaches for the dog and pulls him out of the trunk. He puts him in another car, parked in the garage next door.

“Hurry up, we don't have much time.”

With that, Ghost opens the passenger door and gets behind the wheel without waiting for you.

When you change to a smaller vehicle and sit on the passenger side, you ask in surprise

“Why a we changing the car? What's going on?"

He doesn't answer anything, he rushes away. He drives for a while, again, in silence you notice him circling the area. You definitely pass the same house several times.

“Why are we driving around?”

You ask with a little fear. From minute to minute, every behavior of a man causes increasing nervousness in your body. Again, you find his behavior strange, irrational.

‘We need to confuse the trail, cover our tracks.’

The man finally speaks up and after a few moments stops at the next house.

‘Stay in the car and don't go anywhere, understood?’

Ghost quickly picks up Riley and, with the dog in his arms, marches quickly in an unknown direction. Disappearing from your sight after a moment. You're left alone, in the car, in an unknown place.

The sun was almost below the horizon, a small red glow gently illuminated the wide street.

Suddenly, the door opens on your side and you jump in your seat, slightly scared. Seeing the now familiar, masked figure, you breathe a sigh of relief.

“Shit!”

 You clutch your chest, mumbling.

“Put this on your shoes and walk fast, damn it.”

The man hands you something like hospital slippers. You quickly put them on over your shoes. Hearing his voice, you know perfectly well that there is no time for discussion. Time is running out.

"Pull your hair back or keep it out of the wind and follow me quickly. Don't you dare turn around and stop!"

The man grabs you by the elbow and pulls you out of the car. He moves quickly, taking quick and decisive long strides. Compared to his legs, yours are considerably shorter than his, you practically have to run to keep up with his pace.

Not only do your legs hurt, but you are simply out of shape. Many weeks of trekking to this city and saving the portions of food you took with you. And also, the nerves caused by today have left you simply out of shape, out of strength.

Stumbling, your legs slowly give up and you hold your hair with one hand to keep it from being blown away by the wind, as commanded. You try not to fall behind the man.

At one point, Ghost slows down for a moment and turns his head, looking behind him.

“Damn it, faster.”

Regardless of your protests, he grabs you and lifts you off the ground.

"Hold on to me and don't let go."

He energetically grabs your hips and lifts you up, pulling your body towards him. He squeezes your plump body hard, digging into your skin. He's practically running now. You hold on to him, praying that he doesn't fall under the pressure of your weight or suddenly drop you.

However, nothing of the sort happens, and you both quickly reach one of the larger houses in the area. The only thing that distinguishes it from the others. Apart from its size, is that it has massive shutters and is not as overgrown with weeds as the others in the area.

The man opens the door locks, with one hand, and hurriedly enters the house. Finally, he sets you down on the floor, mumbles something unintelligible under his breath. He closes first one front door and then another, more massive one with multiple security features.

The room goes dark.

‘Where are we?’

You finally ask hesitantly, catching your breath. You didn't even notice when you held your breath.

‘In my house.’

He answers briefly and walks past you into the cramped vestibule, deep into the dark hallway

‘Take off your shoes and jacket, leave them here. Follow me.’

Ghost's house is warm and somehow strangely cozy. Standing in the doorway of the living room, while the man hastily closes the shutters and before the room goes completely dark, you try to look around. Get acquainted with the new surroundings.

The interior is decorated in a simple style. Plain, single-coloured shelves. The dark furniture bends slightly under the pressure of the collected objects. Against the walls, where there is no furniture, stand towers of neatly arranged things. There were a lot of objects here. Everything neatly, perfectly arranged. Books, CDs, clothes, bins, boxes containing other things (rather essential for survival and ordinary daily needs). Everything neatly and evenly grouped. You will not be surprised if you find that the man has everything carefully catalogued. So if you were to ask him for a small lithium battery of the CR1620 type, he would certainly find it in a few moments, without hesitation.

Despite the large number of items stored, the space does not seem cluttered. In the middle of the room is a large dark sofa with a small coffee table, opposite one of the walls on which is a large flat-screen TV. Looking to your right, you notice a slight glow and notice that instead of another wall with lots of cupboards and shelves filled in, there are open double sliding doors that lead into the kitchen. Now that glow reaches you, it's the light from the LED lamps above the worktop, slightly illuminating the distant room. You make a mental note to ask the man later where he gets his electricity from. Because he definitely has some sort of energy source. So it's not just the tower you were in last time that has a power source. It looks like this house has been inhabited for a long time and is definitely set up to live in such apocalyptic conditions for a long time. Rather, you could ask the man if he found this house by chance. Did he know about this building beforehand, and if not, how did he know to prepare so much?

Maybe he was one of those weirdos who believed every conspiracy theory, every rumour. Perhaps he was once in some sect that spoke of the imminent end of the world.

When Ghost finishes closing the shutters, the room is completely dark. You don't even hear the man moving around the room because suddenly you hear his low voice from behind you.

“Follow me, you need to wash up.”

It's only now that it's come to you. That's right. You must stink badly. Now the smell must be clearly noticeable in an enclosed room.

You feel a wave of shame sweep over you. Your cheeks are definitely red.

So many days of wandering, sleeping anywhere, as long as there was a roof over your head.

When you set off, you didn't take too many things with you. You mainly packed food, a sleeping bag and one thick sweatshirt, which usually served as a pillow. In order not to carry too many weight in your rucksack. You did not take excess clothing, but only the most necessary things to survive. You didn't expect to find much food along the way that was still edible. You didn't know how long the trek would take. However, you didn't think it would be that long. Too long.

So you turn away in shame, lowering your head, even though the house is dark, you are afraid of the man's gaze. You feel your way towards where the Ghost's voice had just come from.

You feel embarrassed about yourself, you must have, well literally, stank. You can't even remember the last time you washed yourself properly. Before setting off, you managed to heat up the water you had collected and washed yourself thoroughly in the bath. You don't even remember how many days ago that was. Too long ago to remember.

You have quite long hair, which you had tied up in a braid for days without even untangling it or combing it every day. Now many strands have fallen out of the braid, in fact, even your hairstyle looked more like your hair was loose than braided.

But the fatigue and frustration of the ongoing journey had subsided and you no longer cared about looking presentable. You didn't expect to meet anyone.

Seeing the soft light that spread a pleasant warm and yellow aura in the narrow corridor. You slowly approach the open door. Finally you hear the clear voice of a man from deep in the room, and he speaks to you again in the same dark and monotonous voice.

“Take a bath, you have everything you need in the bathtub”

Then, following his voice, you enter a slightly lit room.

It is a large bathroom decorated in a minimalist style. Dark tiles and silver fittings. No windows, no shelves of supplies. Simple minimalist interior.

A man stands next to a large free-standing bathtub. Without waiting for your answer, he leaves and speaks again.

“Wait a few minutes, the water needs to heat up”

Before you can say anything, Ghost pushes past you and closes the door behind him.

You stand in the room for a few moments, you feel so unreal and strange. As if you were in some hotel. On a special vacation.

There was a time, well, you hardly even remember, when you had things like hot water, warmth, a house without a dripping roof and just a safe space. Everything is prepared and at your disposal. You don't have to search for anything. Scouring shops and houses to find the thing you need like shampoo, toothpaste or a hairbrush.

You sit down on the closed toilet, gently remove your gloves and place them on the sink, having to wash them by hand to put them back on as quickly as possible.

You struggle to remove your shoes, and a terrible sight appears to your eyes: socks that were probably white were now a mixture of several colours. Brown, greyish black or crimson. With great difficulty you remove the sock, hissing loudly in pain. The cotton material has stuck to the dried blood, fusing with the cotton material of the sock and with your foot. Some of the wounds are reopening. Most of the nails are practically black. They are likely to fall off soon. Now that your feet are finally uncovered and you are free to lay them on the cold stone tiles on the bathroom floor. You breathe more deeply.

Cursing under your breath, you try to undress. You slowly stand up, shaking on your swollen legs. It seems to you that it is even worse than when you had tightly knotted shoes on your feet the whole time.

After a few moments, you slowly reach for the rest of your clothes and slowly undress, throwing your dirty clothes on the floor. The last layer of clothes, the one closest to your skin, has practically stuck to it. The material is wet, as if greasy and even hard in some places, soaked through with the sweat that your skin has secreted over many weeks.

When you finally manage to undress, with shaking legs you walk over to the bath and sit down on its edge. As you turn on the tap you almost sob with joy. It's been a long time since you've seen running water. Hot straight from the tap. It used to be a normal thing that attracted attention, today it's an incredible luxury.

You hesitantly reach your hand under the flowing stream of water and shiver with pleasure. It's really, really warm. You don't even know what you're going to say to Ghost when you get out after your bath. You are so grateful to him. There are no words now to describe your joy and gratitude over such a trivial matter as this bath.

You reach for the bottle standing next to the bath. A 3-in-1 body wash. For men. Well, you can't have everything. But even if you only had warm running water at your disposal, you wouldn't mind at all.

When the bath fills to the bottom, you slowly step into it and sit down. Despite the growing tingling on your skin and the pinching of your wounds. You lean more comfortably against the tub, tilt your head back and close your eyes. You finally feel comfortable and can relax, at least for a while. Your muscles and injured skin, although they seem to hurt less for a while, can finally rest.

Hot water heats the bathroom, slowly steam appears in this small space, it becomes stuffy.

The bath takes a really long time. You contemplate how the water will slowly warm your frozen, swollen body. You wash every inch of your body thoroughly. The gel smells nice, you can feel lavender and sandalwood.

You don't care that a man might be angry with you and full of further resentment. Because you spent so much time in the bathroom. That you used too much water.

It feels so wonderful. Blissful. You finally wash your greasy and tangled hair and massage your scalp. You feel tears coming to your eyes. For the first time in you don't know when, you feel safe, just clean and comfortable. You allow yourself moments of weakness.

Relaxed, you fall asleep, but unfortunately the bad memories haunt you once again.

Days 64-66

You

You didn't see how long it would be before these peculiar cocktails full of anxiety would kick in, so you chose the closest place that seemed comfortable. The sofa in the living room.

Lying down, you hugged one of the cushions you had taken from your parents' bedroom earlier. It was big, soft and smelled like.... Mum. Home. The closeness. Security. Stability. All the good things that no longer existed.

You don't know how much time has passed, each passing minute seems like an eternity.

Eventually your eyelids become heavier and heavier. Your breathing slows down. You fall asleep. Hoping forever.

Unfortunately, you were wrong, the mixture of drugs was not what you expected. You wake up with a terrible, huge stomach ache, headache, nausea. You don't even have the strength to open your eyes.

You vomit. You can't collect your thoughts, you don't know what's going on. There is only one thing in your head: pain, pain, pain.

All this goes on for hours, moaning in pain, nausea, fainting. Breathing problems come on suddenly, convulsions occur.

Everything is one long agony.

This is not how it was supposed to be.

You were not meant to suffer.

Tears run down your cheeks, mixing with the vomit that is practically everywhere. You must have fallen off the couch. You don't even feel yourself hitting the floor.

Everything hurts so much.

 You fall asleep for brief moments. It all continues, the pain, the crying, the momentary loss of consciousness and then back again. Vicious circle. Endless.

When it all goes away for a while, you don't have the strength to get up, you stare at the white ceiling. Your heart beats fast.

Night and day pass. In the end, everything slowly subsides. This time you have failed. Something gave you another chance. Maybe there was a reason that you survived after all.

Days 732

You

You wake up abruptly and only after a while do you remember where you are. The bath water is already cold. You sit up shrinking your legs, hugging your legs tightly to your chest, wrapping your arms tightly around them. You bury your head, trying to make the bad memories disappear, hide, or preferably erase them from your mind.

It's not just the constant, daily nightmares that remind you of the ordeal that day. When you swallowed the ground pills and the wrong mixture caused one of the side effects to appear. That night you lost some of your hearing.

Maybe it was a punishment, or maybe it was meant as a reminder. It's not worth it. You shouldn't. No.

You will never forget.

Once the water is very cold, we get out of the bath. Although your body has thankfully relaxed a little. You wrap yourself in a towel and look around the bathroom. No sign of a change of clothes. After all, you're not going to parade around in a small towel that barely covers your pudgy body.

Slowly, hesitantly, you open the bathroom door, wanting to call out and ask a man for clean clothes. Because there is no point in wearing the old ones. They are fit to burn at most. You don't believe that even the best washing machine and detergents can cope with such dirt that has dried for weeks.

Looking down the corridor you notice a few changes. The corridor is softly lit, no longer dark.

And the other thing is that there is a chair opposite the bathroom door.

And on it lie nicely stacked brand new clothes, deodorant and a toothbrush. Next to it lie plasters, bandages and wound disinfectant.

You look around the corridor, but there is no one there but you.

In the distant kitchen you hear the clink of plates and cupboards being opened. You think you hear the clatter of Riley's claws walking quickly across the kitchen floor, a very familiar sound, something known from the past.

In addition to the symphony of sounds, your nostrils are filled with a smell. Food. Dinner. Definitely a warm meal. It's all so unreal, ordinary, idyllic. So innocent and mundane. As if those two years never happened, as if you were spending your weekend off gossiping at a friend's house. And you weren't struggling in drudgery and terror to survive.

Hurriedly, feeling your stomach growl with hunger, you pick up the things Ghost left for you from the chair. You glance at the tag of one of the clothes, not only were they the right size, they were from a really good and expensive company.

Returning to the bathroom you smile slightly, hugging the fresh and tactile clothes.

Well, maybe meeting and visiting Ghost's house wasn't as bad as you thought at first.

And maybe under the mask he wasn't such a scary person after all.

taglist:

@leviathanleva @chocolate-noodles @vmaxis @poohkie90 @ghostlythots @nobodys-coffee @famouscattale @youdontneedtoknow1226 @pimpinsins @justguessfan @novasilvae @pausbirudanlumbalumba @ella2497 @lunamoonbby @sams-pineapples @tonylagsagne @lurkinwbreexy

[sandy-the-glader]

Hi I've never really done a request before so I'm not entirely sure I'm doing it right but I love your Adrian Chase work and I was wondering if you could do Vigilante x assassin reader. Like reader is secretly a current or former member of the league of assassin's and how would Adrian react to finding this out

Secrets

Character: Adrian Chase x ExAssasinFem!Reader

(Little bit of fanon Adrian tbh)

Type: Angst with some fluff at the end.

Length: 1.4k words

Summary: Adrian is going through a box of your guy's old stuff and comes across your old assassin suit. He asks about you and your past with crime and he just has one question. Why?

Trope: Established Relationship

A/N: Honestly you guys can make a request however you want and this was perfect. I'm a people pleaser so whatever works for you guys anyway I hope you like a one-shot more on the angsty side :) Ps I'm going to be taking a small break from requests (there are only two I've gotten) and finishing a few George Karim one-shots I started a while ago but have gotten caught up in requests since.

Adrian gripped the suit tightly in his large hands. What? He recognized the design and symbol almost immediately. His eyebrows knit together and with every passing second, he was more and more confused.

His sweet loving and caring girlfriend couldn't have been one of the most well-known assassins. One who he has tried to hunt down himself many times but every single time coming up short-handed. Someone he really used to hate until she disappeared for the better (that was his thoughts anyway) and was rarely mentioned again.

He had the day off and was just wanting to go through some old stuff and make space for other things he and his girlfriend needed to store away.

He really couldn't believe it though. You were always so positive and optimistic about everything he would have assumed murder would be the last thing you thought about. You honestly could say the same thing about him though.

He felt almost betrayed that you never brought this up in any conversation. Did you know who he was? How did you even feel dating a hero? He told you who he truly was a few weeks into dating so you would know what you were getting yourself into and you said it was fine you even loved the idea. The truth was that you felt protected from your past when you were with him but he had no way of knowing that.

The longer he held on to the suit the more he wondered. Was there more he didn't know about? Do you still do this in your free time?

He continued to dig through the box of your old things. Mask, weapons, more clothing, it was all there. All the proof he could need to confront you.

He stood from the spot he had been kneeling on the floor and took a large inhale. He needed a minute to really think about and understand what was going on.

-

Once you got home Adrian set your suit on the bed and walked to the door to finally get some answers he had been craving for all day. The door made small clicking sounds as you unlocked the door. Finally, the door swung open revealing a tired and smiling Y/n.

"Hi Adrian!" You smiled, hugging him as soon as you stepped through the doorway. He slowly wrapped his long arms around you and greeted you with a quiet voice. "Man, I am tired." You said.

He was nervous. He didn't want to break up with you at all but he was confused about how and why you would get into any of this stuff. He had to snap himself out of his thoughts because he had realized you pulled away and now were explaining your mess of a day.

"- and she got me all these papers really late but they had to be in like a week ago." You explained setting your bag down on the couch and slipping your shoes off by the entrance.

"Hey baby?" He spoke nervously.

"Yeah honey, what's up?" you smiled looking up at her Adrian. His face is slightly pale and his eyes are wide. "Are you okay?" Your face softened as you inched closer to him. He stumbled back slightly and you were confused. Did I do something to him? You wondered scanning his facial features, trying to gather any information you possibly could.

You were good at reading people and you could obviously tell something had shocked him. You waited for Adrian's response. His eyes flickered throughout the room everything but your eyes.

"Adrian, what's wrong?" You questioned scared and concerned. You had rarely seen him like this before.

"Um yeah, I just have a question." He nodded trailing off to their shared bedroom. You shuffled through question after question in your head like Adrian had been doing all day. You slowly followed your boyfriend into their room and there you finally noticed your old suit. Everything came flooding back. You had no words at the moment. All of your thoughts had escaped and your head ran empty.

"Where did you find this?" You finally said swallowing thickly. You stared at Adrian with fear. Fear that you thought you had escaped a couple years ago.

"What is this?" He asked even though he knew very well what this piece of fabric meant. You sat next to the fabric and just looked at your hands that were placed in your lap. "Y/n." He said firmly but you could hear something else in his voice.

Fear.

"What is this?" He repeated with a shaky voice.

"I..." You tried to collect your thoughts. You didn't want him to be afraid of you. That's why you liked dating him. He liked you for who she had become not who you used to be. He was kind and showed patience with you and you could never repay him for that.

"I need you to explain. Is this why you never talk about anything from your past?" He spoke now with a firey tone. You looked up and saw his eyes shining with tears beneath his glasses. This is all because of me That thought alone made the truth fall from your lips.

"I used to be a villain." You said. "Obviously." Adrian sat down wanting to hear more of your words.

"Why?" Was the only word that left his lips.

"It was a very low point in my life. I was forced into it since I was a teen and I couldn't stop it. Until I ran away to Evergreen. I was forced into so many painful crimes." You didn't want to talk about this or even remember it for that matter but Adrian deserved to know. He opened up about his past and told you he was a damn superhero. "When I ran away to Evergreen it was to escape far away from those people who tried to make me someone I'm not. Never once did I want to hurt those innocent people. I've tried to forgive myself for what I did each day at a time but I've seen some things no one in a lifetime has seen." You suffered every day from those horrible memories.

"Did you know of me?" Adrian asked softly.

"Vigilante? Yes. Adrian Chase? No."

"Did me telling you that I was Vigilante change anything about our relationship?" His voice trembled. You couldn't blame him.

"No. I loved- no I love you for who you are. When I first met you at Fennel Feilds it was like a beam of hope shined down in my life finally and that was you. Your silly quirks and beautiful personality seemed to make my life better than it ever had been. You made me have something worth living and I really don't want to lose you, Adrian." You let a couple of tears drip down your cheeks but quickly wiped them away because in your head you shouldn't be the one crying about this it should be Adrian. Sure it was a tough patch in your life but you had kept this from Adrian since you met.

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?" He spoke softly.

"I didn't want you to think any less of me." You held the suit in your hands and stared at it. "Finding out that you were a superhero that was after the villain who was me was scary. I love the way you see me. And I don't want you to think of me any differently but I understand that this must change something."

"I mean..." He trailed off. "I just wish you told me sooner. Y/n believe me I love you. I want to spend every moment with you and like that's a lot for me." Adrian showing his dork side again made a smile break out onto your face. "And since you are my girlfriend I might be able to let those things go. You said yourself you were forced into such awful things at a young age and no one should ever have to go through that. And It's not like you're doing any of this activity now right?" He questioned to make sure.

"No of course not."

"Good." He scooted closer to you and hugged you tightly. "I'm sorry you went through that though. You can go over it some other time but I can tell you need dinner."

"Thank you, Adrian. You know I was a little scared you might kill me." You admitted.

"Oh if I was only talking to you and not dating you I would have." He said bluntly.

"Oh my god." You chuckled.

"What? It's true and you know it is!" You shook your head and he looked at you lovingly and proud that you had the courage to share some things from your past. "Now come on I'm starving." He whined.

[eluxcastar]

Unorganized Suggestion for One of Repetition:

Reader actually dies, but this time Arlecchino doesn't know how the fuck and maybe MAYBE when we finally get that new patch there's a way to articulate Reader's reappearance through the treveller's involvement because Reader got involved with abyssal situations and now has the power from beyond (ain't no way power creeping brighella tho, haha!)

Just branching too much away from the orig plot, I imagine 🤣

Can't wait for Colombina beefing on Brighella, and she'd just be like "bro tf did I do to you?"

What is Brighella is Acehron expy (jk, I think Acheron is more aligned with Ei or Mei)

Wait how did Tsaritsa pick up reader again 😳 If it's during Archon war, what if Reader came from Inazuma? (I'd like to think Reader is a master of weapons, an BRUTAL and Capitano walking her footsteps 🌩)

You know I did actually consider the possibility reader would die at some point, and speaking of expys, Final Lesson spawned that because I also considered that the one who would kill her would be Capitano (*￣▽￣) (who I might add currently thinks she killed his mentor) I fear I may be evil but pyro user with her mentee in a fight to the death?? Too tempting)

I'm on the fence about it because I don't know if I'd want her to die (．．;) I think it would make for great angst material though (๑>◡<๑) as for the abyss, she has canonically been before (strangely it also played a part in the aforementioned likely scrapped idea of mine) and there is a spoiler that would explain how she COULD live through that <(￣︶￣)>

I'm very excited to get to write about the very tumultuous relationship between reader and Columbina ( ◡‿◡ *) because their beef did not start with her ousting and has been going on for a long time, possibly since they met many years ago

I also think Acheron's very Mei/Ei-adjacent but like also she and Arle should dance together at some point (maybe with a bit less psychological horror) that would be so hot (*/▽＼*)

However, she found reader in Snezhnaya during the Archon War, took her in to protect her, and considered her something like her lucky charm ♡( ◡‿◡ ) I think it would be cool if she did come from Inazuma, but unfortunately, she is connected to Snezhnaya by design (which is not mentioned in either of the two posted oneshots but will be important) (there's also the issue of actually getting her from Inazuma to Snezhnaya which would be difficult as she was a child then (￣▽￣*)ゞ)

[harmfulb1tch]

Interesting Dreams Part 2

Ship: Brad Bakshi x reader

Warnings: SMUT (mdni): Vibrators, exhibitionism, teasing, orgasm denial, possessive. Swearing.

Summary: After your encounter with Brad last week, he has a little surprise for you.

A/N: The long awaited Part twoooooo yay! Finally Finished!

-------------------------

A couple of days had passed since the incident. You had barely spoken to Brad, meaning you had only spoken to him when necessary. That was in directory meetings and when you had to present him the designs for the new weapons in the game to see if they were marketable, and even then, you limited yourself to give him the design on paper and look straight down to the floor.

Poppy had confronted you about the dream a couple of times, saying that she didn’t know what you saw in Brad (which you didn’t know yourself). But you shut her down quickly when you brought up her dream about Ian. Of course, the situation wasn’t the same, because differently from Poppy, you did in fact want to be fucked by Brad. You wanted it so bad it was the only thing you thought about everyday at work. You always had him in view, since your office was right in front of his and they both had clear windows. He always was either pacing around with coffee in his hand or very concentrated on his Mac, working on something you didn’t know. It was very ironic how a couple of weeks ago you agreed with everyone around the office on hating Brad, but it only took a dream for you to change your mind about the lanky man (This is probably because you lied to yourself). While he was in his office, you only fantasized about what he would do to you. You wanted him to fuck you in his office, to treat you like he owned you.

There he was now, he was talking on the phone to some client, you assumed. He looked calm and collected, he probably sounded like that too. Although, you could look through that facade. He was calm, but you could see the cogs in his head turning. You could see that he was plotting a scheme or finding a way to make the client crack. That’s something you admired from him, how he could look collected and make everyone be at his mercy all at the same time. 

Your thoughts were interrupted suddenly when you saw Brad looking directly at you. He caught you looking at him, practically undressing him with your eyes. He immediately smirked and looked away. You also turned your gaze away from him, blushing madly and trying to focus again on your work. 

After that, you heard someone knock on the door of your office. David appeared with his usual fake smile and positive attitude. A part of you was scared that he was going to talk to you to mention the incident that happened with Brad a couple of days prior. You discarded the possibility remembering how nervous he was when he found out about the dream, thinking that if he were to bring the topic up, he wouldn’t be so jolly. 

“Good Morning Y/N! I just wanted to tell you that we will have a directory meeting at 12pm, so be ready for that! he said, accentuating the “T” at the end. You liked David, to a certain extent. You immediately started liking him less when he ratted you out to Brad. 

“Sure. But couldn’t you have send me an email with the details of the meeting? I could’ve prepared something on what we were working on right now in the art department” 

“Yep, sorry. We forgot to tell you. See you later!” And with that he left, closing the door behind him

You sighed. Typical. You, the art director, were forgotten when setting up a very important meeting. You needed a fucking break, you didn’t get paid enough to keep up with all this bullshit.

You went to the breakroom, where Poppy and Ian were talking next to the coffee machine. You pushed Ian aside without even talking to him to prepare yourself a coffee and grab a packet of Pop Tarts. Poppy and Ian started talking to you about their lives, just making casual conversation. Ian was telling you and Poppy about a hookup he had the night before. Although it was a very graphic explanation, you lived for the drama of it all. At some point, Poppy tried to bring up Brad into the conversation, but every time she hinted at the subject, you shot her a stern look, not wanting to talk about your experiences regarding Brad.

Ian looked at you and Poppy weirdly, clearly feeling excluded from the conversation. He then said his “goodbye”s and left for his office. Immediately after he left, Poppy looked at you, wiggling her eyebrows, clearly not scared of you revealing her wet dream about Ian anymore.

“So? You’re not going to ask him out?” Poppy said, trying to usher you into caving in and admitting your crush on the tall man.

“Absolutely not.” you said with the most serious look. To prove your seriousness, you took a sip of your coffee.

“Oh come on! You know you like him, admit it!”

“Poppy, he’s a fucking sociopath. I’ve been with guys like him before and I don’t want anything to do with him.”

“Aha! So you do admit he’s your type!” She said, with an exaggerated tone of voice, as if she just resolved a case.

“Poppy! Such the fuck up!” You shushed her “Plus, I’d be surprised if he doesn’t already have someone in his life… Anyway, I’m not asking him out, he’s probably already weirded out enough”

“I’m sure he’s not. You said it yourself, he’s a fucking weirdo. Remember when he tried to bet on my hair? Yeah, fucking weirdo” She rambled “My point is, he’s probably turned on by all this.”

“Ew, I don’t want to talk about it. I’m too busy for this shit, I’m going back to my office. Tell me if you need anything work related. Bye.” And with that you left straight to your office.

When you arrived, you sat on your roller chair sighing. You brushed your hand over your face in pure self-doubt. Should you ask him out? Should you just ignore this whole situation? You didn’t know. All of this was raising a lot of questions in your head. Opening your eyes again, you went to reach your computer to continue working before your meeting when you hand touched a small, wrapped box. When you inspected it further, you saw a note was attached to it. You opened the small envelope curious to see who left the little box on your office table. You hadn’t seen anyone enter, too occupied talking to Poppy.

“ A little present for you. Be a good girl and put these on for the directory meeting in around half an hour. I have the remote.

Brad”

After reading the note, you immediately opened the box, tearing into the deep red wrapping paper that covered it neatly. You opened the lid to reveal a pair of vibrator panties. Your eyes immediately widened at the sight. The fact that Brad would spend this amount of money to torture you was unbelievable to you. Even if you were a bit grossed out by the situation, you were also very curious on how all of this was to play out. Without a second thought (before you regretted it) you rushed to the bathroom and put them on.

Ten minutes later, you rushed to the meeting and sat next to the man responsible for the vibrator between your legs. He was sitting slouching in his seat as if he didn’t give a fuck about anything, with one leg over the other, pressing his ankle on his opposite thigh. He leaned into you a bit and whispered in your ear.

“Are you wearing it?” he said. You nodded softly, gulping in anticipation. “Good girl” your pussy throbbed at that, you loved his praises.

You saw him put his hand into his pocket and the vibration between your thighs started softly, drawing a pleased hum out of you. He was kinky, you’d give him that.

When it was your turn to show everyone your designs, you knew Brad would make your life impossible. As you went to stand up, the vibration in between your legs speeded up, making you jump, drawing a concerned and confused look from David. You couldn’t think about anything but Brad during your presentation, your voice shook, you slightly whimpered, you sweated and could barely recall what you needed to say.

“Y/N, are you ok? You really don’t seem like yourself today” David said, concern laced in his voice. You slightly looked at Brad, who looked at you with lust-filled eyes and smirked at you.

“Y-yes, I’m fine. C-can I please c-continue?” You couldn’t help but stutter, it felt too good.

“S-sure…?” 

You kept going through the presentation and when you were done, you went back to your seat, crossing your legs to try to stop the build up. It was Brad’s time to present. He looked so sexy while engaging with his small public that consisted of the directory committee: Poppy, Ian, David, C.W. and yourself. 

“The weapons Y/N designed were a huge hit, and they’ve been selling like hot cakes. Good girl Y/N.” You almost choked when he said that. A silence filling the room.

“T-thank you Brad.” You said flushed.

“Well that was fucking weird” Said Ian.

At one moment, he put his hands on his pockets and amplified the vibrations while was presenting. You were so fucking close. You needed release and without realizing, you smacked the table with your hand hard. Then you tried to camouflage it as a cough when everybody looked at you weirdly. That cough sounded more like a moan than anything, but people didn’t dare to question anything. Brad knew you were so. Fucking. Close. That was when he completely stopped the vibrations. When he wrapped up his presentation, you rushed to your office.

“What was that about?” David said, weirded out.

“I don’t know,” Brad said, bored.

Brad paraded after you and found you hunched over your desk. You were on the brink of your orgasm and he denied it like he owned you, which he kind of did. You haven’t been this frustrated in a long time.

“H-hey, uh… what’s going on?” he said in an innocent tone. You stood up to confront him, full of a new-found confidence. 

“What is your fucking deal? I was so fucking close, and you put me in the spot SEVERAL times. I’m so fucking done with you Brad” You sounded really pissed, because you were.

“Oh don’t get your panties in a twist.” he said annoyed

“Oh fuck you!” you shouted

“Careful there, princess. You’re playing with fire.” With that, he pressed you against your desk and, yet again, leaned into your ear, whispering “You don’t want me to deny you of your orgasm again, do you?”

“N-no…” With his body pressed to yours, your brain barely functioned. You didn’t know what was going on with you, you never acted like this. 

“Good girl. Now, I have to go. I’ll see you later.” before he left, he brushed his lips with yours. Not quite kissing you, just teasing.

You were left there, dumbfounded (again). You breathed deeply, and your eyes were wide. You probably looked crazy, a complete mess. And worst of all, you were the wettest you had ever been. You were so fucking frustrated. You wanted to shout, scream and have a tantrum but, most of all, you wanted to cum. You wanted Brad to fuck you like he owned you.

[notsocooljess]

Please Stay

hi… sorry about this. i mentioned about a month ago i was writing something outside of my comfort zone along the lines of fear. so here it is.

quarter quell AU

content warnings: major character death, canon-typical violence

read this in ao3 here

Katniss.

Her name rang through his head, managing to break through the aggressive clicks from the beetles they were fighting. At least “beetle” was the closest word Peeta could associate with the insect. These beetles were mutts, a creation of the Capitol’s design. With bodies as big as house cats' and pincers over a foot long, they were no feat of nature. Their shells were so strong that their weapons were nearly useless against the insects unless the blades were aimed at the beetles’ joints, which seemed to be left unshielded to aid in their mobility.

Katniss.

He can’t believe the gamemakers had managed to spin the arena on them again. He figured Beetee’s plan had satisfied all conditions necessary to buy them some time: it brought enough excitement to keep the Capitol citizens’ entertained while ending these unpopular Games as soon as possible. Was it not personal enough for them? Not gruesome enough? What, if anything, is ever enough for them?

They had spun it while they were close to starting the plan. It turned out Beetee and Katniss were right: the outer edge of the arena was able to spin as well. The centrifugal force of the outside spinning had sent their group barreling down the jungle and back to the sand of the beach. Their bodies had been launched into trees and rocks, leaving them bruised, bloody, and sore from head to toe. Any progress they had made in proceeding toward the midnight lightning tree was lost. Like before, they had to choose a wedge at random and hope it would be free of horrors until they regained their bearings on where they were on the clock face.

Johanna had made him choose which direction he wanted to go since he was the most familiar with the map.

Katniss.

She was all he could think about as he swung his machete into the unguarded area that would loosely be called the beetle’s neck. Johanna found her stride in using her axe to decapitate the beetles in rapid fashion, and Finnick was able to dual-wield his tridents to kill multiple beetles at once. Beetee sat on the ground between them, slinging a knife at any beetles that managed to make it past the two skilled fighters towards him. Their speed was impressive, but it was hardly fast enough to defeat the insects at the rate they were spawning.

Katniss seemed to be struggling against the mutts’ body armor. With no definitive eye location for her to strike and with little leverage from standing on the ground, her weapon of choice wasn’t ideal for the situation. From the corner of his eye, Peeta saw three arrows ricochet off of the backs of beetles into the winding trees.

“Katniss, climb if you can! Go!” he shouted at her as he sliced through two mutts in fast fashion. This is the quickest he’s moved since his heart stopped.

She was at his back, protecting the other side. He wanted to turn his attention to her and help her move up the tree, but the beetles were populating at such quick speeds that he could hardly pull his attention from the distance of his arm span in front of him.

At the speed they were generating, he was pretty sure the gamemakers were seeking one outcome: death.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, he heard her yelp.

“Katniss!” he yelled as loud as he could. As if on cue, the beetles started retreating from whatever hell they came from.

When Peeta turned around, he saw her. The fighting had shifted their position, and he was ten meters away.

She looked so small, her body dwarfed in its current position. Her knees drawn up to her chest as she laid on her left side, her eyes trained upward. Her chest heaved furiously with every breath. Her gray eyes panicked as they searched his. Her lithe hands desperately clutched her neck in an attempt to try to stop the bleeding from where the giant beetle-mutt’s pincers had severed her throat.

Peeta ran to her, his movements as fast as his false leg would allow. He kneeled right in front of her, and her face never stopped watching his.

“You’re OK. You’re OK. You’re gonna be OK,” Peeta repeated incessantly as he sprang into action. He ripped his undershirt off his back and tore the fabric into a strips he could tie around her neck to stop the bleeding.

When Peeta went to apply the compress, Katniss’s eyes grew wide, and she shook her head frantically. She didn’t dare to make a sound.

“Katniss, please. I can handle the looks of it. Please, let me help you,” Peeta pleaded with her. When she shook her head again, he saw streams of blood rush between the cracks between her fingers at the pulse rate of her slowing heart.

Desperate to help, Peeta went to remove her hands so he could quickly tie the fabric and stop the blood that was flowing freely from her neck. Katniss finally tried to protest his actions, but all she managed was an aggressive gurgling noise.

Peeta frantically searched her face, both terrified into action and paralyzed with fear. Katniss produced a singular cough that sprayed his face and chest with her hot blood.

Peeta’s head pounded. His face was hot from the weather and her blood and his tears. He went to move her hands one final time, but she responded with an almost imperceivable shake of her head. They had both faced death enough to know when it was inevitable.

He perched his body over her’s. His tears fell onto her, the tendrils of water leaving streaks in the dark crimson red that coated her hands and neck. Heavy tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

“Please, Katniss. Please don’t die for me. Please stay,” he began, as sobs wracked through his body. His shoulders lurched forward as he watched her face scrunch in pain and agony and sorrow. The tears in the corners of her eyes finally rolled down the sides of her cheeks.

When she relaxed her face, her eyes met his sharply, the silver of her eyes rapidly transforming into a dull gray. Sorry, she mouthed to him, more tears trailing down her cheeks.

“Katniss, no. No. Don’t be sorry - please. Don’t be sorry. I wouldn’t be here without you. I couldn’t have done this without you. I can’t do it without you,” Peeta pleaded, his sobs pausing so words could escape him as quickly as possible, “I need you. I love you. I love you. Damn it, Katniss, I love you so much,” he finished through a choked sob.

Peeta could see she was trying to hold on for him, but the graying of her skin and the slowing of her heavy breaths told him his words were spoken on borrowed time. Her eyes searched his face again, saying everything she couldn’t.

As the heaving in her chest became dangerous, appearing painful, Katniss released the grip of her right hand from her neck. Using her last remaining strength, she extended her arm toward Peeta and placed it over the left side of his chest. Love, she mouthed to him.

She brought her bloodied hand up to his soaked cheek, and he clutched her hand with both of his. They stared at one another until the grip of her left hand loosened on her neck and her eyelids fluttered closed, shielding her silver eyes from the world for the last time. A second later, her canon fired.

[crashing-all-modes]

UPDATE ON THE RAVEN CYCLE SCULPTURE!!

Sorry for such a long wait for the update. It was my last two weeks of school, and MAN, OH MAN, was it stressful for homework!!

Okay, so first of all, this is a long update with lots of pictures!!! (I’m going to make a TLDR version for anybody who doesn’t want to hear me yap, LOL)!

Once again, no spoilers if you have thoughts please!

As some of you may know, I had a project for my 3D design class where we had to pick a book and then create a sculpture out of the book (it can be anything, a scene from the book, a feeling you got while reading it, symbolism and so on). The one rule of the assignment is the pages of the book have to be the most prominent part of the design. So I was allowed to paint it, draw on it, and use whatever I saw fit as long as the pages of the book were included and the most prominent!!

For my project I decided to do the raven boys as tarot cards using the major arcana.

I’m gonna break this up into sections so it's easy to navigate!

Making the Hand

So funny story, I thought this project was due two weeks ago and spent all night (stayed up till 6am) working on it, only to wake up at 8am to find out it was due the following week. AH. So here’s what I did that night:

Dw, the hand looks way better after I had more time to work on it; I used about… 4 jumbo sticks of hot glue to attach it to the board? You can pick this up by the hand and use it as a weapon, and it will stay attached.

Building The Base Tarot Card

I made all 5 cards with 2 pieces: one large piece, which would be the back of the card, and another smaller piece, which would act as the part for the character to be on. I made them out of cardboard, so there’s definition.

Back Piece

I carved into the cardboard these small little triangles which was for the gold foil I planned on using! To cover the back pieces, I ripped up pages into uneven pieces and mod-podged them on there (because glue itself made the pages translucent).

Front Piece

The smaller pieces were very important when creating the cards because I used full pages from the book. I picked very specific moments in the book that helped to relate both the character and their card!

Ronan

This is the page where Ronan first "finds" Chainsaw. His card is The Moon, which deals with supernatural elements and visions, so I figured it would be a perfect page to use. Plus, it was one of my favourite Ronan moments!

Gansey

Originally, I wanted to use the page where Gansey recounted his near-death experience with the bees, but I must've used the page by accident because I couldn't find it ANYWHERE?? I opted for this page instead, because this is another instance where Gansey looked death in the eye and scared it off (his card is The Hanged Man).

Blue

I decided to use Blue for The Lovers card because I felt the irony of it was too fitting. I used the page where the reader learns about Blue's fate to kill her true love just by kissing him. The design for her card is so evil (if you keep reading, you'll see it), but it's good.

Noah

(Spoilers) If you've gotten this far, I'm hoping you've at least read the first book. Noah's card is Death, which is... very fitting for obvious reasons AND for the context of the card!! I decided to go with one of the craziest moments in the book when they find out Noah's a ghost. It's perfect for the Death card... and IT EVEN MENTIONS THE DEATH CARD ON THIS PAGE, WHICH I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL I WAS GLUING IT ONTO THE CARDBOARD!!

Adam

Adam is my favourite in the book and I had so many moments to pick from for his tarot card. Ultimately, I picked the scene where he and Whelk are having a face-off, and all MAGIC IS BREAKING LOSE BECAUSE HE'S THE MAGICIAN (as I've been told by many sources, I still have only read the first book)!!

After I glued all of the pages onto the smaller pieces of cardboard, I dyed them with food coloring!! I had no idea this would work, but thanks to YouTube, it worked so much better than trying to paint, and the colours turned out amazing!!

From left to right on the top row: Ronan, Noah (before tea wash), Adam, Gansey and the bottom one is Blue's!

Here's Noah's after being tea stained, I wanted his to look like it was old and worn, like it was lost in the earth. To make it blotchy, I used the actual tea bag and blotted it on the card like crazy.

I then went on to dye WAY MORE PAGES. It's surprisingly fun.

The Tarot Cards (Roughs)

So, for each tarot card, I created designs, trying to implement the original while making it my own in relation to the character. All of these are sketches, and I honestly might make them real pieces in the future!!

Blue

UGH. I think hers and Noah's might be my favourite designs (I'm very biased tho because I love skulls lol). Each card has an earthy theme, I included lots of flowers and branches!

Adam

Adam's is the closest to the OG tarot card, because I felt like it was so iconic I couldn't change much to the design. That's probably why his is my least favourite design LOL.

Gansey

Ngl, I really like the symbolism on this one. If you were to pull it in reverse it would be Gansey with the crown floating above his head, like it's his and he's close to reaching his goal.

Noah

OKAY, BUT LIKE GUYS, THIS IS AHGSSGSGHSH. Like???? I love him so much. I put him in a saint pose, like those you see sculptures in churches posing in or paintings of saints. But I love him so much.

Ronan

I love the vibe his card gives off. It's very contemplative and moody, just like him.

I love how all of the designs turned out, but I unfortunately only had time to make one, Ronan's!

Ronan's Card

To make Ronan's cutout, I cut pieces of different stained pages into the shapes I needed (like his shirt and his head), and I then drew on it with an ink pen. It was really difficult to make everything the correct size because of the way I did his card, so this alone took me an hour to do. Think of him like a paper dress-up doll, LOL.

THE FINAL

FINALLY HOLY CRAP. I'm running out of photo room for the post, so I'll make it brief here but post more on a different thread!!

Anyway, I'm going to make all of them into cards now that school's over, and I'll update y'all when I'm done!!

I just wanna give a really big shoutout to everyone who helped me decide which tarot cards to give to each character, especially @screechin-outloud! They went into so much depth without spoiling the book, and I APPRECIATE YOU!! I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU!!!

And if you made it down this far, thank you for reading all of this!! :)

[marmie-noir]

Stick With Me

TW: Violence, guns, murder, mentions of blood.

READY FOR SEASON TWO, CHOP CHOP HOLLYWOOD <3

Per usual, not proof read so any mistakes are because of me and I apologize but will ultimately not change :) Enjoy!

It was the next night when it finally happened. I had spent the day going over design ideas for the ‘new’ bar with Mitch, Dwight telling me to pick whatever I wanted. I think he was trying to pacify me but I’d take it, especially when it gave me something to do beyond look out of the windows between the boards still in place or flick through the same songs in the old jukebox next to it. 

It had gotten dark a few hours ago and the music was low. I was behind the bar because it felt natural at this point. Mitch was behind me, one arm loosely around my middle to keep me pulled back against his front, the other pointing out paint options in a magazine that we really shouldn’t be making a decision with based upon the shitty neon lights that filled the space. I couldn’t tell if it was a green or a blue his finger had landed on. 

I covered the name of the shade and glanced to the side, his face right there as he had hooked his chin on my shoulder, looking content if not a little sleepy. Mitch was a patient man, more patient than me it seemed, and he was content for at least a few days from what we had spoken about to spend time here and wait for the bikers to show up. “Tell me if that shade is blue or green.” I said quietly, giving him a little smile. Mitch narrowed his eyes slightly at me, mustache twitching as he tried to hide his smile before looking back down at the color. “Now darlin’, I might be old but I’m not color blind. It’s blue.” He said, voice rumbling from his chest to my back. 

I slid my fingers down to show the color, emerald meadow, amused. He let out an amused huff, his breath warm on my neck, tightening his arm around my middle in a makeshift hug. “I clearly meant green.” “Mhm, sure cowboy. I told you the lighting was bad.” I said with a grin, glancing at him once more. He leaned in, nose brushing against mine, going for a quick kiss to stop my smug attitude when the rumble of bikes gave away that we had visitors. 

Everyone moved at the same time. Dwight and some boys were playing a card game over beers, the others either playing pool or loitering around the space. The sound had everyone spring to action and push away from their tables or place the pool sticks down, moving to their assigned locations. Dwight had earned his name The General, proposing a battle plan that would mow down the number of men we’d have to actually engage in a shoot out with. 

Explosives were rigged at the front door and Mitch gave me one last squeeze before pulling back to grab his weapon, my own gun cool as he pressed it into my palm. Taking it with a quick nod I caught Grace’s eye and we exchanged a nod as well, the two of us ducking under cover until the signal went off. I had gotten kind of close with Grace over the last few weeks, she was interesting but a really sweet person. Not a bad friend to have at all.

Mitch settled next to me, our thighs brushing as we shifted. I didn’t look at him, didn’t want to seem scared or make him worried, instead glancing up at the ceiling and waiting. It didn’t take long for the familiar squeak of the front door to sound, a few moments of silence, and then the explosions. From there it almost felt like an out of body experience. 

Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I was steady, lips pressed together in a firm line. Determined. I took out at least one biker as we all stood up, working through the line of men that had come into the bar, their leather jackets giving them away for who they were. The Black Macadam motorcycle gang had come as Dwight said they would. But they hadn’t been expecting anyone willing to fight back, not on this scale. 

“Get down!” Mitch’s voice sounded to my left and I felt his hand gripping my elbow, yanking me down as he did as well. The next second the mirror behind the bar was shattered as someone with a machine gun splattered the area with bullets. Debris and glass rained on us and I looked at Mitch, brows pinched together with frustration. “A machine gun!?” I shouted over the deafening sounds of gunfire. “Are you fucking kidding me!?” 

“I got it!” Dwight called out, moving out from behind the bar with the shotgun he had chosen for this. The machine gun fire ceased, and a few members of the gang went to check the kitchen. 

Mitch reached out and tucked me against his side, his free hand not on his weapon lifting to cover my ear and press my face against his chest as he shot.He hit the preset gas tank he’d prepared just for this, the explosion it created sending a wave of pressure over me and then a wave of heat. I let him protect my ears, eyes squeezing closed against the heat of it, taking a moment to take a centering breath before pulling back so I could guard his back. 

I got a tap on my shoulder, Grace. She left the safety behind the bar and I followed behind her, Mitch standing and providing cover. It didn’t take us long to handle the last few of the men that were trying to find cover or escape the war scene the bar had become. I caught sight of Dwight tackling Waltrip but a groan tore my attention away from that, finding Tyson bleeding behind the pool table.    

I went to him instead of witnessing the final bloodshed. Violence didn’t do anything for me, while I wasn’t a shrinking violet against it I didn’t enjoy it. It was a means to an end, people had to be taken care of to make sure that Mitch and Pops - and by extension all these other people- were safe. That included Tyson, who was bleeding from his right shoulder. “Let me see it.” I told him, setting my gun down and reaching for him. I ripped open the hole the bullet had made, inspecting the wound to find it was barely trickling blood. “You are gonna be okay, it went through and didn’t really hit anything.” I said, looking at it a little closer before giving a nod. “We should put pressure on it though, it’s gonna bleed for a bit unless you close it up.” 

“Sunny?” “Here!” I called, standing up and seeing Mitch make his way towards me. I moved to meet him, needing to make sure he was okay just as he needed to check me over. He still had his gun clutched in his right hand, but his left grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me tightly against the front of his body. I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head as my arms wound around him, making sure I was as close as possible. In a little bit the adrenaline would wear off and I was going to crash, probably get shaky. “I’m here.” I breathed out against his chest. “Tyson’s been shot but it’s in the shoulder, he’s gonna be okay. Anyone else?” I asked, looking up at him worried. “Armand got one the arm, but he’ll live.” He said, hand sliding around from the back of my neck to cup my jaw, thumb brushing against my cheek. It felt gritty, like dust had settled on my skin. I’d need to shower. “It’s done, Sunshine. It’s over.” I swallowed, feeling a wave of emotion rise from my chest as he spoke. Giving a little nod I blinked misty eyes at him, blinking a few times to try to clear my vision, and he pulled me back against his chest. I cried against his chest, shoulders shaking, fingers gripping the back of his shirt tightly. Because he was right. It was finally over. 

There was a lot to do. Bodies to hide, blood to clean up, a mess to sweep under the rug and contractors to pay off so they could come in and start to do the renovations we had clearly started on. But for now I just let myself relax against Mitch, soaking in the warmth and comfort he provided, the familiar scent of his cologne under the gunpowder and the dust familiar. Grounding. “I’m so fucking happy.” I said, looking up at him again. Mitch smiled, leaning down to press his lips to mine in a celebratory kiss. It wasn’t dirty, or teasing, but it was sweet and full of emotion neither of us had spoken yet. My hands lifted, cupping his cheeks as well, the kiss tasting of tears and hope for the future. We had won, and now it was going to be me, Mitch, and the bar from now on. 

More Sunny and Mitch here!

[im-just-kinda-here-k]

tell me about stellaris in the most autistic way imaginable (i wanna learn by infodump and infodump only)

(Srry this took me so long to answer I wanted to answer once I got home and promptly forgot about it lmao)

So! Stellaris. The 4x game where you genocide in space or something.

I'll start from the top, you will be designing a space-faring empire to play as, staring with...

SPECIES/HOME SYSTEM: This is where your gonna decide what your founding species looks like and what traits they have, as well as what their home planet/star are named. Not to mention you can write a short biography on your empires pre-ftl history here! Role-play wise this will affect your game greatly, but in terms of gameplay its only a big deal early on as barring some exceptions you will like end up with quite the melting pot, and any individual species traits will be of little consequence. The next part will be much more influential, however.

GOVERNMENT: Now we get into the real meat of your empire. Who are they? What do they stand for? What makes them stand out? How do they decide on their leaders? Do they decide on their leaders? You can be militaristic xenophiles who will fight tooth and nail to protect the galaxies people, or a curious hive mind that wants to hoard as much knowledge as it can without coming to blows with its neighbors, and yes, space nazis. Here you can also decide the past of your species, they could be fairly normal, simply reaching out into the stars after a few decades of booming economy, or they could've never lived on a planet at all, being born on floating habitats in the void.

MISC: Just some other details, your first leaders name/gender, what your ships look like, what your advisor sounds like, that kinda stuff.

GAMEPLAY: I'm sorry but I have that committed to muscle memory I would have a stroke if I tried to explain it. Montu and other stellaris youtubers are the best for that.

MODS: For when you've spent 200$ on dlc but want 600$ worth instead. This can be anything from simple tweaks to complete overhauls of the gameplay. My favorite are "gigastructural engineering and more" which expand on the megastructure system (just really big things that make the economy go brrrrrr) and adds lots of post endgame content. (Wanna rearrange entire star systems into mobile weapons platforms and pit them against space cats that consume millions of galaxies to outlive entropy?)

Then there's stellaris evolved, which changes literally every aspect of the game in some way we would be here all day so just know it's amazing.

Alright we've been through a few paragraphs of this so I think it's time to talk about one of my own empires!

THE EMPIRE OF SILDORIA: A long time ago, humans sent out colony ships into a wormhole found at the edge of the solar system, most were destroyed, but one of the surviving ones wound up in a random part of the galaxy, and went a-looking for a new home. But they couldn't find one, supplies were dwindling and systems were failing, so they took a gamble and took up residence in the upper atmosphere of an unusually stable gas giant. It was still a brutal task, where people were worked to death out of necessity rather than greed, but they pulled it off. Floating cities dot the gas planet of sildoria, and after scrounging up enough materials, they have made their way onto the galactic stage. It did not come without cost, however, as the humans, or rather, sildorians, have been fundamental changed by their experiences. Their psyche is unbreakable on a biological level, and their bodies are quite tough as well. They are instinctively inclined to reduce waste, and have a reduced birthrate as a result of cramped conditions. The sildorian government is an interesting one, while it is extremely focused on material gain and expansion of industry, they make sure to take as good care of their people as they can. A sildorian laborer will be expected to give everything they can spare in the workplace, and in exchange they will want for nothing at home. In the future the sildorian empire is likely to take forays into robotics and cybernetics to maximize productivity and comfort. OK that's all I have to say :D

[queenofsimpsblog]

believe me - shuri x reader pt 2

HCEWUGCFYUEWG so my dumbass accidentally deleted the 2nd draft, so i had to rewrite this bad boy MULTIPLE TIMES to make it absolutely perfect for you guys, cuz everyone loved pt 1 so much i just knew i had to make pt 2 as perfect as possible WARNINGS: mentions of drowning, fight scenes, gets a little graphic towards the end, pure fluff ending here are all the accounts that asked for a pt 2 (sorry if i missed a few): @shurislover @taiiunknown @sinsikoxo @mysticalmarss @lilroachsworld @angelsmist @ogbells16 @youralphawolf72 @6-noir @awolfcsworld @adeola-the-explorer @shuriszn @kya-rose @minionslikeppl @anonassbjtch @miguenza @dovesbeauty @yamsthoughts @k3nn3dyxo honorary mention to @locoforshuri WHO HAS IGNORED ME FOR SO LONG SMH LIKE BITCH ARE YOU ALIVE?! ARE YOU DEAD?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF YOU IGNORE ME LIL SHIT?! YOU GOT OTHER HOES OR SMTH?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SMTH SPECIAL ok i'm done with my lil rage outburst, y'all have fun reading this <3

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

*20 minutes ago*

"oh please. you're just jealous that i love maya and not you," shuri spat out. you were too upset to deal with the way her comment stung your heart, so you chugged the remainder of your drink and left the booth.

shuri shut her eyes and sighed in annoyance. she regretted her words the instant they left her mouth. she wanted to get up and look for you, but your body was lost in the dancing crowd.

she downed her scotch, still feeling thirsty. shuri was feeling out of sync the entire day. she felt parched, hungry, nauseous, irritated. it wasn't her period, no. it was something else.

she stayed at her seat, drinking shot after shot. one of the downsides to being the black panther was an incredibly fast metabolic rate. in layman terms, she couldn't get drunk that easily.

she stayed at her seat, staring at her hands. thinking of you. missing you. feeling guilty for what she said.

just then, her kimoyo beads buzzed. an SOS message from you. the alcohol instantly evaporated as she saw the alert. shuri got up from her seat, using her panther vision to locate riri at the bar, talking to the waitress who flirted with her earlier.

***

(lil smth for the fight scene)

"what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

you turned from your seat to look at maya, standing at the door frame, looking angry, and a tad bit scared.

"me? what's all this?! who the fuck are you, and why are you here?!"

"that's none of your business."

"excuse me?! oh fuck this. i'm showing shuri all of this, right the fuck now," you waved your phone at her smugly. maya reached ahead for it but you blocked her hand with your other arm, throwing her against the bookshelf, knocking a few heavy books down that hit her on the head. you took that as your chance and made a run for it.

while running, you opened your sling bag and put your phone inside, zipping it up and putting the sling around your shoulder to make sure the phone wouldn't fall down anywhere.

the sound of bullets being fired gave you an extra push to make you run faster. just then, maya switched to a different weapon. it sent a thick string of black slime that got hold of your foot and yanked you down. she then changed the setting to withdraw the slime, pulling your body to her so that she wouldn't have to run after you. she used a weapon that you designed against you. unbelievable. while that was happening, you took off an earring and hurriedly sent an SOS signal to the first contact that popped up, and threw your earring aside.

your body was being violently dragged towards maya, and when you were close enough, she made a move to get your purse. you punched her in the nose and pushed her head aside, giving you enough space to get up and a break for it again. that's when maya drove a knife in your thigh. you yelled in pain, as you tried to move. but maya was one step ahead. she took a white cloth and put it over your mouth. at that point, you realised that fighting against her was futile. in your final moments of consciousness, you took off your bracelet and threw it down before passing out.

maya smirked, proud at herself as she dragged your body to a secluded corner of the floor. drops of blood from your thigh marked her path. a large, potted plant stood there. she kicked it down, and pressed a button on the side, revealing a secret tunnel opening. she carelessly threw your body down the tunnel and gave you a slight push, following you afterwards.

***

"yeah, well, that's how i learned using a blowtorch to reheat a grilled cheese sandwich was a bad idea," riri spoke and the waitress laughed, smiling profusely.

they looked cute together, and shuri hated to interrupt the moment. but if the message wasn't an accident, and your life was actually at stake, then she knew that she had to do something about it.

"riri! i need your help to find y/n,"

"why don't you just track her with those beads?"

"it says she's right at the club, which doesn't make sense because i can't see her anywhere,"

the waitress interrupted their conversation. "if y/n is the type of person to trespass, you might want to check the third floor. she might've gotten too drunk and gone there by accident,"

riri smiled at the woman and thanked her for the suggestion, taking shuri's hand to lead her to the elevator.

"wait a minute, wasn't y/n supposed to be with you the entire time? why'd she leave?"

shuri sighed, angry at herself. she told riri what happened, causing the american to frown at her.

"dude, what the fuck?! that was totally uncalled for. y/n was just tryna help you. and besides, the rejection hurt her already. you didn't need to bring it up again,"

shuri stayed quiet. she knew what she did was wrong. but the constant hammering in her head robbed her of the ability to think properly.

the elevator door opened and they walked around, hoping to find you. the atmosphere was sinister. both women could tell that something bad happened there. riri looked at her friend. "i'll check the right side, you check the lift," shuri nodded silently and walked away, carefully assessing the scene. her feet led her to the very secluded room you found before, and she was more than shocked when she found everything.

the stalker board. the computer with wakanda's security secrets. it was all so overwhelming. what hit her hard was when she saw this one symbol on this piece of paper.

it was at if it put her in some sort of trance. memories flashed through her mind. the symbol was of the french embassy. she remembered seeing it when she first saw maya.

only when maya first introduced herself, she didn't go by that name. she said something else, but shuri couldn't remember. it was as if someone drugged her.

was that possible? was someone brave enough to drug the protector of wakanda? her thoughts were interrupted when she heard riri yell for her.

"shuri! i found something!!"

she ran towards riri's voice, and stopped when she saw the girl hold something in her hands.

"it's y/n's earring. she dropped it. do you think it's some sort of clue?" riri asked. shuri looked at the piece of jewelry to be sure. yes. it was yours. her gaze went down to the drops of blood on the floor, trailing off elsewhere. she gestured to it. riri got the message. both of them silently trailed the path of blood until it stopped and a knocked down plant.

shuri went closer to get a better look, and found the button. slightly hesitant, she pushed it, and the secret door opened up. both women looked at each other.

"you think that's where she went?" riri spoke as she looked around the tunnel.

shuri spotted the black bracelet on the floor and picked it up. "this bracelet belongs to y/n. i bought this for her last year. i think she dropped it on purpose. you were right. she's leaving clues for us,"

"but where does this tunnel lead to?"

the black panther lifted her kimoyo beads up. "griot. scan this opening, please. tell me where it leads to,"

"just one moment, panther," griot stayed quiet for a few seconds. "it appears to lead to a cave, your majesty. it's hidden quite well, deep within the ground. i sense some water bodies nearby. i believe it is somewhere near the river border,"

"okay, well, we're going after her," riri started removing her jewelry, getting ready to fight whoever tried to harm you.

"one moment, miss williams. i believe entering through the same opening may be a foolish choice, as you would land right in front of the enemy. there is another entrance to the cave. but you need to be able to hold your breath to use it."

"griot, do you have access to any security footage here?"

"my apologies, panther, but there are no surveillance cameras here. maya had them removed once she bought club purple,"

shuri groaned in frustration. "alright. send me the coordinates for the second opening. alert okoye and the dora milaje. get them on standby. i'm getting my girl back,"

shuri and riri sped their way back to the palace so that shuri could get her suit. riri changed into a bulletproof tracksuit she made for herself a couple years ago. they couldn't go save you in their club outfits, could they?!

while the royal talon fighter sped its way to the second entrance to the secret tunnel, riri asked her friend what she found on the other side of the hallway.

"maya... that's not her real name. y/n was right. she was using me. there was something off about her. i should've listened. this is all my fault," shuri dragged a hand on her face as riri rubbed her back.

"don't worry. we'll find her. she's gonna be okay. but wait, what did you say about maya? that ain't her real name?"

"i don't know, my memory is being weird. i somehow cannot recall what happened the day i met her. how we ended up dating. it's as if--"

"as if you were drugged?" riri finished the sentence. suddenly, everything clicked. shuri remembered everything, and blurted all of it out to riri.

***

you woke up. jittery, confused. taking a look at your surroundings, you realised that maya had you captured. you were tied to a wooden chair, and you seemed to be stuck in some sort of cave. there was a table in front of you, with a small black rectangular object. it looked like a taser, but you weren't quite sure. the wound on your leg was bandaged up. but who bandaged you in the first place?

"rise and shine, you little bitch," maya's voice loomed from behind you. she walked around to face you, and you sneered at the sight.

"oh i knew there was something off about you,"

"oh, yes, you clever girl," you noticed the change in her accent. initially, she spoke in an american accent. then, it changed to a french accent.

you raised an eyebrow. "french? what are you, a spy or something?"

she let out a sinister laugh. "well, yes. you could say that. i suppose since i'm about to kill you, i can tell you who i really am," well, there it was. maya's truth. what you'd been waiting for.

"my real name isn't maya. it's roberts. gabrielle roberts. i work for the french embassy, and was sent here to gain intel on wakanda and their military facilities. to get that close, i needed to get into the palace. and what better way than to seduce the queen?"

you laughed mockingly. "bullshit. shuri would've seen that coming a mile away,"

gabrielle sighed. "yes, you're right. she did. she was very skeptical of me when she first met me. i tried seducing her the old fashioned way, but she was entrapped by another woman. you, i believe."

"huh? excuse me??"

"did you not know? it's so obvious. i had to spend some time spying on shuri before i could approach her. she's in love with you."

you weren't buying it. you spent a decent 2 months telling yourself that shuri never wanted you that way and never will. and you refused to believe the word of a woman who lied about her identity to everyone.

"if she was so in love with me, then how did you bag her in the first place?"

"oh. simple. i drugged her."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"ah, relax. nothing too serious. although i had to keep giving her large doses for the drug to work. that lady's metabolism never takes a break,"

the strength of the black panther. shuri's body could break down complex chemicals within moments, so gabrielle had to continuously drug shuri to make sure she could still stay close to her, to gather all the intel she needed.

fortunately, she hadn't given shuri a single dose in over 6 hours, which was enough for the effects of the drug to completely wear off.

"so if you needed shuri for the intel, why'd you bring me here?"

"because, for the final part of my plan, i need to get access to the weaponry database. and as far as my research goes, you're the only one who can crack the code which will give me access to those records. so," she dragged your chair to the table and opened up a laptop in front of you.

"do it."

"do what?"

"open up those records. or i will blow your brains out," she shoved a gun to your head. you looked at gabrielle with wary eyes.

"dude, how stupid are you? how do you expect me to use a laptop if my fucking hands are tied behind my back?!" gabrielle sighed and moved to untie you. your wrist was swollen and bruised.

"i can't do it. my hand is busted. and besides, there's an encrypted code protecting foreign users from entering the database. it'll take months to break through it,"

"i don't have TIME for this!" gabrielle's voice echoed through the walls of the cave. she grabbed the taser and brought it to your abdomen, burning you with the current. silent tears ran down your cheeks. you couldn't die like this.

"i give you five minutes. figure it out, or i'll open that latch on the floor and flood the place. you have a fear of water, don't you? ah, it'll be hilarious watching you drown," with that, gabrielle walked away.

you started hyperventilating. things weren't looking so great for you. you weren't lying when you said the encrypted code would take months to break through. hell, it took nearly a year to make it that secure! you looked around the cave, trying to find a way to escape, to break through. the latch down opened up to water, but you had no idea how long you'd have to hold your breath until you'd reach the shore.

you left shuri some clues. the SOS message, the jewelry, the blood. you hoped that she'd find those.

ah, who am i kidding? she doesn't love me, she'll never love me. and now, i'm gonna die alone. why? cause i'm a paranoid bitch.

your five minutes were up and gabrielle walked back inside, an evil grin plastered on her face.

"time to die, whore."

you froze, accepting your fate. gabrielle lifted up her gun, ready to pull the trigger, when an explosion from behind sent her body hurtling in front. water and rocks splashed everywhere as you tried to see who was there.

shuri.

it was shuri. she first ran to you, her mask disappearing.

"sthandwa? are you okay?" she assessed you for any injuries, and got anxious as she saw your bleeding thigh and swollen hand.

"i'm fine, i promise," you replied, but you looked like you were gonna pass out. riri came from behind you and grabbed you gently, taking you outside where the royal talon fighter hovered, a medical team inside prepped to help you with any injuries.

"you drug me, lie to me, and harm the woman i love the most. give me one good reason why i shouldn't blow your face up right now," shuri glared gabrielle, hot rage coursing through her veins. the drugs were now completely out of her system, and she was ready to rip the spy's throat into shreds.

the mask of her suit hid her face as she lunged at the french woman, claws ripping at her chest. gabrielle let out a groan of pain. she tried to fight back, but the black panther was too strong. water began seeping through, and shuri knew she had to leave before she drowned as well. she considered helping gabrielle for a moment, before deciding that a) she was busted pretty bad and wasn't going to make it, and b) she was a threat to wakanda so there was really no point in saving her. the french embassy had come for wakanda before. they had to set an example, so that no other country would pull shit like that again.

shuri managed to get out just before the entire cave was flooded, and ordered the dora milaje to seal the exit, just in case.

the medical staff on the jet aided to your injuries, giving you some ointment and pain pills. before you knew it, you were dropped at the palace. you asked if you could be led to your apartment, but shuri insisted that you and riri stay at the palace for the night. too tired (and traumatised) to argue, you agreed and were shown to your quarters, where you laid down and were immediately taken over by exhaustion as you fell asleep.

***

rays of sunshine pooled through the large window as you slowly opened your eyes, getting up to see a tray sitting neatly on your bedside table. a bowl of oatmeal, topped with your favourite nut butter and fruits lay on the tray, along with the pain medication you were prescribed, a glass of water, some orange juice, and a note. you picked the note up first, instantly recognising the handwriting scribbled on it.

eat your breakfast, and call me once you're done

shuri <3

she drew a little heart next to her name. how cute. you got up to brush your teeth before scarfing down the food, juice, and medicine. seeing as you hadn't eaten in ages, your hunger made sense. as ordered to, you raised your kimoyo beads and gently tapped them to alert the queen.

"y/n! you're awake, how are you feeling?"

"pretty alright. i ate the breakfast you sent, took my meds, and i just got outta the shower. every part of my body is still in pain though,"

"don't worry, i'm on my way right now,"

"oh, no, shuri you don't have to--"

she hung up before you could finish. typical shuri.

a few minutes later, you heard a gentle knock on your door. "come in" you said softly. shuri's cute morning face popped up as she slowly made her way to your bed, sitting down next to you.

both of your backs were against the bed frame as you faced each other.

"hi," shuri muttered.

"hey,"

she didn't look up at you. slightly confused, you grabbed her chin and tilted her head upwards.

"why won't you look at me?"

her eyes started to water. "i guess i just feel guilty. if i had listened to you at first, i could've sent that french bitch away a long time ago. but you got hurt, because of me,"

"hey, hey..." you tried to console her. "don't blame yourself for this. you were drugged. we both know the great shuri udaku wouldn't fall for a stupid scam like that if she was in her senses," she let out a lugh after your comment and you smiled, happy that you could improve her mood.

as you got flashbacks from your cave encounter with gabriella, a specific thing she said crept up to your brain. and you knew you had to bring it up eventually.

"so, listen..." you fidgeted and shuri gently took your hand, intertwining your fingers together. it was a simple act you guys did as kids to show that you had each others backs. it always made your heart flutter.

"in the cave, when gabriella confessed to drugging you, she said it was because she wanted to seduce you but she couldn't do that while you were sober," shuri cringed when you said 'seduce' and you bit back a laugh at her expression.

"she said she couldn't seduce you without drugging you, because you were in love with me." shuri's head shot up as her eyes widened.

"now i don't know which drug she gave, or how much it affected your memory. but i'm pretty sure you didn't forget the day i told you i love you. and yes, i might not be as entirely over you as i said, but i'm okay with you not seeing me that way. i mean, i'll get over it i guess--"

she cut you off by smashing her lips against yours. it took you a moment to realise what was happening before you started to kiss back. you gently grabbed her shirt collar as she grabbed your waist, pulling you towards her lap, making you straddle her. you made out like that for a while before your need for oxygen interfered, causing you to pull away.

shuri smiled like a kid in a candy store. you smiled back.

"you won't believe how long i've wanted to do that. y/n, ever since the day i met you, i knew i was going to make you mine. how can someone not love you?" you giggled before kissing her again.

"so... are we girlfriends now?" you asked, the smile still stuck on your face.

"hmmm, well, let me think about it," you smacked her arm and she laughed.

"alright, alright, y/n y/l/n, my gorgeous princess, my sweetheart, my one and only, will you be my girlfriend? please?" you laughed and kissed her with all your heart. when you parted again, you chucked to yourself.

"what's so funny, sthandwa?"

"i'm just picturing riri's reaction when we tell her this. she's gonna lose the last bit of sanity she has left," both of you laughed at the image before lying down to cuddle, enjoying each other's embrace for the rest of the day.

*lil bonus scene as a sorry for taking so damn long to upload this*

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" riri yelled out as you and shuri laughed. her reaction was everything you pictured and more.

"FINALLY!! GODDAMN YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH!! SHURI YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A THIRSTY ASS BITCH!! SHOULD'VE HEARD HER FANTASISING ABOUT THIS VIBRANIUM STRAP SHE TOLD ME ABOUT--"

"RIRI!!" you yelled and chased after her in shuri's lab. the queen laughed to herself.

bast, she's crazy. but she's mine. and i'd do anything for her.

[petewentzisblack1312]

what are some of your favorite fob lyrics?

cannot answer this in a universally true manner so heres fob lyrics im thinking about right now

'tip your glass to no direction' fellowship of the nerd. very elegant and clever word play. tip your glass to no particular direction, or tip your glass to the concept of being labelled as having no direction. falls into the same category

'spent most of last night dragging this lake for the corpses of all my past mistakes' my heart is the worst kind of weapon. i didnt know what dragging a lake was until a few years ago (because saint lucia does not have any lakes) and the stark and dark imagery really makes this song a top 10 teen angst bullshit bop

'stood on my roof and tried to see you forgetting about me. hide the details i dont want to know a thing' the pros and cons of breathing. toxic homoerotic girl best friend bops for the ages. either you cut yourself off from an abusive relationship that you never really got any closure from or were otherwise inextricably linked to someone who was poisonous to your soul or you just wont get it. i could write an essay about this song. perhaps i will.

'i know, i know, i've made mistakes. i know, i know, but at least they were mine to make.' so good right now. manic song of all time. do not tell any song on mania i said that

'i will never ask you of anything except to dream sweet of me. tell me when the party ends, will you still love who i am?' heaven, iowa. never not thinking of this line. i have explained my thoughts on this.

'i got your love letters, corrected the grammar, and sent them back. its true romance is dead, i shot it in the chest and then the head' the music of the misery. i liked this lyric so much i drafted up an enamel pin design about it. hopefully coming this valentines. do not quote me on that.

'i am gods gift, but why would he bless me with such wit without a conscience equipped' fame<infamy. yesssss king you werk those clang associations. the cadence and rhythm and rhyme of this line is like a pinnacle of lyricism. on top of that i mentioned in fall out boy is for niggas that pete often used braggadocio but with a self deprecation as a spin on it. this song as a whole is a good example of that and i think i cited a different line in that essay but this is another really good one.

'spiritual revolt from the waist down' bishops knife trick. yeah yeah gay above the waist i dont care. this is a reference to 1984 and i like that. 'youre only a revolutionary from the waist down' like you only seek spiritual change so long as it brings you pleasure. feels like it fits with the theme of mania.

ran out of steam. take my list- please!

[thefirstknife]

What happened to the whole Enceladus theory? I remember the idea was that the Deep Stone Crypt was in it but then it turned out to be Europa. That message that Cayde left for Petra (and the fact that it was coded) seemed important and I was wondering if it still is even relevant to current lore or if it was kinda ditched by the devs. Could Enceladus still be relevant in the future?

It was a theory based on a misinterpretation of the messages and then shared by Byf who perpetuated the theory. He even later came out to clear things up, but I think the damage was done at that point.

Basically, Cayde left 10 messages to people he believed might be the ones that would end up killing him. One was for Petra, which has the coded message about something being on Enceladus. A completely unrelated message was directed to the "minds behind the Deep Stone Crypt." I need to stress that these are completely separate messages. All messages are unrelated to one another and they don't seem to have any specific order. The one before Petra is for Drifter. After Petra is the Deep Stone Crypt, but then after that is the one for Suraya.

It was genuinely a cool idea and seemed to work with what Cayde told us about the Deep Stone Crypt before; that it was in a place that was cold. He also initially mentions Saturn as he starts talking about it, but then corrects himself and says it's "someplace else." Enceladus is an icy moon, similar to Europa, just orbiting Saturn and not Jupiter. I think people really wanted to connect these two things so it became a popular idea that Cayde's knowledge about the Crypt was something he wanted to tell people.

What doesn't make sense is him saying it to Petra. The Awoken really have nothing to do with the Deep Stone Crypt and there's no reason for him to tell Petra where it is. And of course, the message of him even mentioning Deep Stone Crypt is not even the same message where he mentions Enceladus. Maybe people also connected the two messages because one follows the other. Could also be that a lot of people forgot that they're separate.

Enceladus WAS once considered as a candidate for this. However, this was a very long time ago. Like, it was in concept stages back during vanilla, maybe even earlier. I did a little research about it at one point. The artist uploaded the art that was labelled as early concepts for Europa and said that the reason Saturn is in the sky is because Enceladus was considered as a location, for a brief period of time, during the concept stage. As I noted in this little research, the artist also said that he got the idea for "red ice" from another artist, however the red ice is present on real life Europa, but not on Enceladus. Enceladus may have been considered as a location at some point, but definitely not long enough given that even back in concept stage, they were already mixing it up with Europa. It definitely wasn't still in consideration when the Cayde lines were being recorded. They wouldn't record it based on some early concept art, so unless this was a spectacularly convoluted mistake... It's unlikely.

We still don't know what Cayde wanted Petra to know about Enceladus, but if it's anything, it probably has something to do with some Awoken business. My favourite theory is that it has something to do with Harbingers, a very curious Awoken weapon that's kinda sort of half-sentient. They were all deployed during Battle of Saturn and they all "died" there, except one, and only Mara knows where it is. The lore on Telesto also tells us:

Vestiges of the Queen's Harbingers yet linger among Saturn's moons.

The old Telesto lore from D1 also has the same tagline and additionally:

Expanded search of Saturn's nearby moons produced only one notable discovery: A cloud of Harbinger matter collected around Saturn's 13th moon, designation "Telesto." A sample is enclosed for your examination.

It makes a lot more sense to me that Cayde found something like this on Enceladus and wanted to alert Petra to it (especially at the time when Mara was considered dead). We still don't know however and it's unclear if it will be relevant ever again. It might, but it's not super important. I'd really like to know of course, especially if it's something Awoken like a Harbinger or maybe something even more mysterious we've never heard of before!

[nakitengoku]

Hi I see u reblog posts all the time with 'vex' and 'vance', who are they?

I'm so glad you asked! Buckle up, this'll be a long one.

In Short, Vex is my cyberpunk 2077 self-insert turned oc through Character Development and Quirks that I don't possess! You can find all the posted drawings I've done of him here, here and here, but I can give you a rough summary bc I love talking about him and he makes me ill <3 I've even made him his own Spotify Playlist

First off, Vex's original concept came a while ago when I had first watched Cyberpunk: Edgerunners. (Original designs below) I named this self insert Ghost and he was supposed to operate as a shady BD dealer

I wouldn't come back to this idea for a whole year, where a friend of mine who had been posting about the game convinced me to play. I decided to revamp Ghost, including his Name Change to Vex (to fit the theme of the main characters name starting with V). Through many back and forth a between me and my friend, and through playing the game, I had eventually fleshed out Vex.

Crash course in Vex Lore, due to rough circumstances and having no other options, he signed a contract with an upstart xbd (hyper-realistic 3d experiences plugged straight into your brain. Vex's specifically was in the pleasurable kind (he's a pornstar)) producer. For Nine year, Vex worked under this Producer, slowly becoming more and more of a hit star, especially among fanatics. But he wanted to be done with it and move on with his life, and lean into his side gig of being a Merc for hire. The producer, learning that Vex was gonna quit, begged him for once last recording. During which, the Producer tried to have Vex killed by the hands of his co-actor. Vex learns this in the middle of a scene and flips it around, instead Killing his co-actor and his producer.

He then hides the body, moves and tries to make a job for himself in Atlanta, but after nearly 2 years of miss after miss, he's forced to return to Night City, thus kicking off the start of the game!

Other than his backstory, he is part of the Worlds worst polycule composed of the Canon Characters, Kerry Eurodyne, River Ward and Johnny Silverhand, and the Non Canonical (though they're both canonical in my heart) Vex and Vance.

You may now be at the point of 'Phoenix, you've only been speaking about Vex, who the hell is Vance' Well, my dear beloved Mutual, Vance is @mail-me-a-snail's V! They're more inclined to talk about him and if you're really curious, they have an entire tag about him on their blog! Just know that I love Vance so strongly that Vex has to deal with it

(They've also recently posted one of their drawings of Vance and Vex and I'm over the moon about it)

There's also our mutual Bad Ending for Vance and Vex that you'll occasionally see me mention in Tags. That's the ending where Vex never escaped his Producer, instead continuing his work and becoming extremely popular and Vance never leaving Arasaka (a huge corporation). This ending is just for the two of them to rip each other apart in mutually assured destruction done out of love, commitment and understanding <3 (of which has its own Spotify playlist)

General rule of thumb is if you see a Vex with short hair and a blue collar, that's normal Vex. If you see him with long hair and he's missing his collar, That's the Bad End Vex.

That's it for Major Plot Points! He's a pretty kind and caring guy, but Hates Johnny's guts and will only refer to him as Silverhand (for multiple reasons). He's main weapon is a katana. He'll eat random food off the street bc of ingrained habits and won't think twice about how nasty that it. His preferred mode of transport is a motorbike bc he can't drive a car for shit. He's my sopping wet cat of an oc that I shake around like a limp piece of prey between my teeth.

Hope you enjoyed this rant about him! Thank you so much for asking ! (And feel free to keep asking, I love talking about him)

[astralartefact]

Hello, wanted to ask your opinion on the theory I've seen pop around that Noelle and her sisters are the basis for the Attack type androids that Yorha makes

My long standing theory was that she's one of the dragon weapons that are mentioned in some of the timeline nitty-gritty. I actually already wrote a little bit about my thoughts about this before (here) since there is some stuff in YoRHa Dark Apocalypse that hints at some bigger connection - but that was when her chapter first came out so it's a little bit out of date

But inspired by your ask I took a look around her new story stuff on nierrein.guide a little bit - and I found out that Recollection of Dusk actually has stories like the ex stories and Noelle's has just released like a week ago.

My findings:

In short: Kind of. A little bit. In a little bit longer: What the fuck

(spoilers below the cut for like everything, i go into a little bit too much detail here)

Read the Recollections of Dusk story, it's wild (and as always the art is beautiful... the colors they use for the final one? amazing. best art design in all of gaming)

So Noelle is actually a surviving human (probably a clone) that androids found frozen in cryostatis and then modified to turn her into a weapon who is also now able to turn into a red eyed dragon beast person whenever her sister who remains in her mind (probably the original human noelle was cloned from) makes her lose control in order to enact eternal vengeance against the world that did this to her(*put a pin in this).

She is also continually hunted by defense androids that are programmed to kill her ever since she left the research facility - and since they do eventually catch and kill her, it's unlikely that she is a 'prototype YoRHa model' in the sense we would probably think of. Doesn't mean that the androids working on her didn't use their research to develop the defense androids into the YoRHa models (the focus on (passing on) memories that is part of the story has big YoRHa black box vibes to me), but especially since she wasn't even an android to begin with I would call her more of a cousin or aunt to YoRHa rather than a straightforward "this is the next step".

It also basically confirms that she is indeed one of the dragon weapons. It would fit right into that spot in the timeline since humans are dead but androids exist (also Ex & RoD Noelle wear very similar coats to Ex Yuzuki and Hina's Hamelin coats and if I remember correctly Hamelin were involved in creating the dragon weapons) and in one of the RoD story chapters she drives through a canyon - which kind of implies North America to me - which is where the Kingdom of Night is - which is where the dragon weapons are. The only thing missing is the mention of Machine Lifeforms or the Aliens to really solidify it.

There is also something going on with the YoRHa Dark Apocalypse stuff I pointed out in my old post and the Seed of Resurrection Copy from there. I haven't really formulated a full theory yet, but it's likely that Noelle's dragon stuff and cloning comes from a (Pseudo-)Seed.

Now, to return to the point about Noelle's sister in her brain - this actually is also touching on another theory I have, but this time not a lore theory but more of an interpretation theory:

Does Drakenier have an overarching bad guy? The answer is of course yes, the motherbeast awaits freedom not really in a straightforward way, but if we do look at a common theme then maybe we could point out that there are a lot of evil red eyes of mind control in Drakenier.

But Yoko Taro games are always about something. Did you know DoD 1 came out on 9/11 and then Replicant, which is about 9/11, references DoD 1 in place of 9/11? They always have a point - so surely if there is an overarching thing coming back all the time it has to be a symbol for something, right?

The Red Eyes Disease in DoD 1, the Logic Virus, the Legion's Red Eye (which we saw with Yuzuki's Ex story) and now Red Eyed Noelle all are characterized as a manipulation of a human through hatred of the world/society as it currently presents itself. Basically every time a character gets to a point where they just really feel slighted and turn against the world their eyes turn red.

I think - and this is just a longwinded explanation to get to a "duh." level conclusion - that Red Eyes are Fascism.

I had to think about it again since Noelle's influence of her sister that makes her lose control was also mainly rooted in nostalgia (something the story specifically points out) and I remembered that i read somewhere that fascism is also very rooted in that (a 'return to a better time' sort of thing) - it just all fits together =v=

Anyways. Sorry for the ramble and for bringing in topics you did not ask about. But thanks for accidentally making me go on this journey! And thanks for being interested in my thoughts on this kind of stuff :3

[aikoiya]

LoZ: TotK - Zonai Tech Oddity

I noticed something about a lot of the Zonai tech in the game.

A lot of it isn't really built to last.

Sure, the constructs & ruins & such, but the commonly-used devices & even the weapons are extremely fragile.

A Steward Construct even mentions that the devices are meant to be disposable. That they're this way by design.

As for the weapons, the descriptions have never brought up them being decayed... to my knowledge... So, it just seems like they're simply built flimsy.

Now, from a gameplay perspective, it makes perfect sense for them to break. They'd break the game otherwise. But from a narrative, worldbuilding standpoint it brings up questions about sustainability.

And I know, sustainability is brought up a lot these days & it's probably getting old for a lot of you, but I feel like it's apropos in this specific situation.

They basically mass produce devices that are designed to only work for a short time, not even a full day really, before breaking & I can't help but feel like that is a little concerning.

Admittedly, they disappear into the aether after being used up to it doesn't create trash, but it just doesn't seem sustainable. Like, how fast does this stuff form exactly?

Is it a flaw of Zonai engineering or a consequence of using Zonaite itself I wonder?

It'd certainly be interesting if Hylians just have a knack for long-lasting machinery & durable weaponry.

I mean, we know for a fact that Hyrule's weaponry are supposed to be all-but indestructible provided they're properly maintained, not overtaxed, & not covered in Gloom. Because, not only is that how most similar weapons IRL are, but before the Wild series, 99% of other weapons you get in the other games didn't break down really at all & that was through entire games. Hell, the Kokiri Sword stuck around for 2 full games, OoT & MM. Admittedly, it got replaced the 1st time, but it still stuck around for the long haul.

Like, there's the Biggoron Sword & the upgrade for the Kokiri Sword in Majora's Mask, but you eventually get an upgrade for the upgrade that makes it permanent & only the upgrade broke, not the sword itself. And, to be fair, the Biggoron Sword is of Goron make. (Though, that would indicate that Goron methods aren't as good as Hylian methods, which I honestly find very odd considering you'd think that the Gorons would be the equivalent to Hyrule's dwarves.)

So, this indicates that the method itself was still being perfected. If anything, these exceptions seem to prove the rule that weapons of Hylian/Sheikah make are extremely durable.

Not to mention, I just can't help but think that having your shit just randomly break over & over again & need to be replaced repeatedly, would not only be inconvenient, but downright infuriating! Especially when you're in the middle of something important!

Though... I suppose that the shortness of their use & the finality of their destruction when used up could also explain why Hyrule didn't seem to have paddleboats or trains or, fuck, space ships 10-20,000 years ago.

I mean, it's certainly one way to have advanced technology in your medieval fantasy setting while keeping it from going full sci-fi fantasy.

Edit: Also, it just occurred to me... How the fuck did the Gerudo not just get wiped the eff out? The Zonai must not've been as advanced as they seemed because have you SEEN some of the shit people have been building with their tech?

The Zonai had the tech necessary to make what would amount to mini divine beasts!! And anyone with the creativity to do so & the tenacity to figure out how the pieces go together could've done it!

They could've wiped the Gerudo off the face of the planet!

Sure, maybe they couldn't have killed Ganon so long as he had the Secret Stone, but at least there'd be no future Ganons to deal with other than the spite-fueled ghost of the one they were currently dealing with.

I'm saying this from a theoretical military standpoint, not because I actually would've wanted them to, mind.

And, obviously, this would've had it's own consequences if they did. For instance, the Sage of Lightning would've likely sworn vengeance, but that's not the point.

The point is, they could've decimated Ganon's armies like they were nothing.

That scene where Rauru Tri-Beam Cannoned the Molduga with the help of Wifey & Zelda?

Epic, but entirely unnecessary.

He could've had a mobile hot air balloon with cannons pointed down take the Molduga out & he might not've incited Ganon to kill Sonia & steal her stone.

Or at least put it off a bit longer.

Like, despite the shortness of the Zonai Devices' life expectancies, they were Hella powerful when you used them correctly.

LoZ Wild Masterlist

[randomboo256]

BotW and TotK, Revisited

So it's Tears of the Kingdom's anniversary already.

I ended up replaying the game a few months ago. I'm not sure if I've ever played a game so rife with good ideas and great potential that failed so hard to take advantage of any of it.

This will be long, please stay with me.

Before we talk about TotK, we need to talk about it's predecessor: Breath of the Wild.

I played this game when it came out, and for what it's worth I thought it was decently fun. However it lacks a lot of the design that made previous games work. Before you ask, no I'm not nostalgia blind. I played the entire Zelda series for the first time in 2016, and I played BotW just a year later. If anything, I'm just as nostalgic for old Zelda as I am for BotW itself. This is just an honest critique of the game's design.

BotW is a game that felt like a rough draft of what a modernized 3D Zelda game could be. The idea of making the world larger, more open, and more inspired by the 2D games is a brilliant one. The execution however felt less like 2D Zelda and more like every other open world game.

What BotW mainly suffered from was bloat. The world was too large and less rewarding. Your main reward for exploring a Zelda game are new items and heart pieces. When you relegate all of those to copy/paste shrines, you're removing the main incentive to actually engage with the world.

In old Zelda, you had no idea what you could find! Any random chest could have a heart piece or even a brand new item. Any sidequest could give you an awesome reward. That's what made it so much fun and so compelling to do everything you can! Old Zelda also loved to show you something you wanted, without telling you how to get it. Often you'd have to come back WAY later. It makes you remember that location, and when you can grab it it's so satisfying. Metroidvanias are like entirely built on this principle.

However, BotW's map is simply too large to be constantly engaging like this. The devs can't ensure you'll find the upgrades, important NPCs, and discoveries without just telling you. In old Zelda, the devs can naturally guide you to all of that with level design. To remedy this, BotW tries to give you items and upgrades constantly, but they do so in a way to make sure that it makes no difference if you missed them. That's how we get things like interchangeable swords that break instead a permanent sword upgrades (I'll get back to that).

It doesn't help that BotW pushed it's nonlinearity too hard. It wanted to make everything in the game accessible immediately as well as completely skippable, which ruins most sense of player progress as well as obliterating any form of a difficulty curve. BotW never has that "Oh, I can get that now!" moment. You know, I actually don't mind the weapon system in concept. I love resource management in games. The problem is that enemies are optional, and killing them is rarely ever worth the swords you broke. Other games with resource management don't allow to just effortlessly ignore every enemy. The worst part of BotW's over-nonlinearity is the dungeons. Dungeons have always been the heart of this series, even in the original game. In BotW, they were simplified down to "do these 5 points in any order" and it's just really boring and underwhelming.

On top of all of this, I haven't mentioned the stamina system, which quite literally just exists to waste your fucking time. By stripping out so much of Zelda's game design in favor of interchangeable everything, it just all adds up to a game that's very repetitive, often boring, and not as satisfying to play as the older titles. If BotW had a map half the size, it could let Nintendo actually pack it to the brim with something interesting and engaging to find in every step you take. Combine that with a return of the old item/heart piece system and a bit of linearity, and it could be great. The happy medium between old and new Zelda is basically just giving the game a more Metroidvania-esc game design logic, as I alluded to earlier. It's a simple fix, but I think it would make everyone happy.

However, TotK took a different route....

Finally, the topic of the today's post. I played Tears of the Kingdom right around launch, and again for what's worth I thought it too was decently fun. However while I could be a little forgiving of BotW for its various missteps, this game doubled down on all of BotW's worst issues.

Instead of removing bloat, TotK TRIPLED it. We have a mostly empty and boring sky and a mostly boring and empty depths. What's left is the shamelessly reused map from BotW. So now everything in the game is either something you've already seen or something you don't care about. This choice is baffling, to be frank. Of all Zelda games, BotW especially is all about exploring the map.

Like, it literally didn't have anything else!!! Why would I want to explore this map again?!!! I've seen it already!!! There wasn't that much there the first time!!!

cough cough

Getting back ahold of myself....

TotK's main excuse to explore the map is the introduction of caves (which somehow weren't in BotW). Caves certainly add a ton of life to the world design, but we still run into a problem of them too getting very stale by the end. On top of that, they removed any challenge in the physical effort of exploring the world. While the stamina system in BotW mostly sucks, it's main strength is that you can't just climb to the top of every mountain. You gotta look around and be a bit more clever. In TotK, towers alone shoot you up a million feet, so you can just glide everywhere. It's faster, I guess, but what's the point of having world map if it's smarter to just fly over it? It's like they knew that exploring again would be boring so they just let you skip over it.

Well exploration is mostly a bust, but what else changed?

Well to start out positive, I adore the weapon fusing system. I already enjoy resource management, so adding whole fusing layer on top of it is super fun. However, I still rarely have a reason to actually fight. By far the most fun part of TotK were the Proving Ground shrines. When I walk into one of these shrines, it's like the game comes to life with so much fun and energy. It's like I'm teleported to a world where the combat clicks and is insanely fun and in-depth. It's funny, because all those shrines did was limit my weapons, limit my healing, make enemies more punishing, and forced me to actually beat them.

WHY WASN'T THE WHOLE GAME DESIGNED LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Well we know why. By making the enemies unrelenting, the weapons and healing limited, and forcing you to fight, the game is limiting what you're capable of. Working around and with limitations are the core of what makes, not just video games, ALL games fun. However, the modern Zelda games are so allergic to the idea of limitations in general that they're sabotaging their own carefully designed combat system at pretty much all times. The only way to enjoy it is for the player to decide to place the limit themself, which is a lot to ask of us.

Outside the upgraded combat system, the main difference between BotW and TotK is a new move called Ultrahand, which strangely a reference to an old Nintendo toy. Ultrahand "functions" by letting you grab any physics object, twist it around, and then stick it to other physics objects. If you're thinking "that just sounds like the fucking Psychics Gun from Garry's Mod", then correct! The only difference is that the Physgun actually works properly. For what it's worth, it's pretty impressive technology, however that doesn't mean much when it's not actually fun to play. Moving an object around with Ultrahand feels extremely stiff and awkward. As for the glueing aspect, it's even worse. With the controls alone it's hard to make anything, but what's worse is that you can't detach one item at a time. If you glue one thing on wrong, shaking it loose will probably make it all fall apart. As you might imagine from a system where any two things can be glued in any way, it's all extremely fucking janky.

When the game's systems for Ultrahand are properly flowing and working properly, it can be pretty fun, but for every "pretty fun" Ultrahand moment, there's a thousand annoying moments.

In a way, Ultrahand is basically just an upgraded and reskinned Magnesis, a move from BotW. Magnesis also barely worked, but it wasn't used nearly as much. Ultrahand meanwhile is literally the entire game. I'm not exaggerating. Pretty much every puzzle and a majority of side missions are about Ultrahand. Ultrahand is this game's gimmick. You know, like how Ocarina of Time's gimmick was time periods, Majora's Mask's was a time loop, Wind Waker's was the ocean, Twilight Princess was the wolf, Skyward Sword's was motion controls, and Breath of the Wild's was extreme nonlinearity. Tears of the Kingdom's gimmick is Ultrahand, and wow holy shit is it the worst 3D Zelda gimmick so far.

Honestly what sucks is that Ultrahand could've been a lot better. On occasion, they do have some really fun puzzles with it. However, because these modern Zelda games don't have difficulty curves, the Ultrahand puzzles won't get more challenging over time. The majority are just too easy, and I'm spending more time thinking about how awful the controls are at doing what I want.

As for the dungeons, well don't get your hopes up. They're identical to BotW, except now with Ultrahand gimmicks! Well, that's not totally true. They do have two big changes. Firstly, every dungeon has a long linear segment leading up to it. These sections are genuinely great, and they feel more like Zelda dungeons than the actual dungeons. However they are just short preludes to the lackluster main event. As for the other change, this game reintroduces companions.

Companions are classic aspect of Zelda that BotW sorely missed. They're usually small and out of the way. They exist for three important reasons: For one, player guidance. They'll occasionally chime in with hints on where to go and what to do. For two, they add worldbuilding. You can freely talk to them and sometimes you can learn some interesting details from them. For three, they give Link a voice. Link is barely a character, so having another character follow him around and speak for him in cutscenes is a great way to remedy that. Of course, they could just... let Link talk but HEY HEY let's not get too crazy.

Unfortunately TotK once again dropped the ball on this. This game has four companions that you unlock over the story, and they're not small. They're full human sized NPCs that constantly follow you around and get in your way. Now honestly, I could forgive that. I love Final Fantasy VII Remake, and those games have that issue. I don't really care that my party members get in my way in those games, because they're great characters and they're constantly chiming in with fun dialogue. However TotK somehow didn't think to do that. Your "party" never chimes in at any point. Neither in gameplay OR cutscenes. What a huge missed opportunity! They're just lifeless robots that follow you around.

You might be thinking, "I thought the whole point of Zelda companions was that they'd talk. If they don't talk in TotK, what do they do?" and that's a good question hypothetical-person-I-made-up. For one, they fight in combat with you. That sounds fun, but you can't control them at all. They're completely AI. For two, each one has a special move you can use by walking up to them and pressing A. This means they essentially act like a dungeon item. That's a huge improvement for the quality of the dungeons. But remember, they get in the way constantly. Combine that with the strange controls, and you will be constantly setting off your partners without wanting to. Did nobody playtest this???

Giving Link party members is a fucking amazing idea, but they botched the execution of this so hard that most people just turn the party members off. What a waste of an idea. I hope they revisit this concept. I'll be really sad if they don't.

So all in all, Tears of the Kingdom is a really upsetting video game to me. It didn't do the one thing I was hoping, and that was "make a version of Breath of the Wild that took more advantage of it's concept".

On top of that, it kept piling on new great ideas that they also fucked up. Like adding caves, sky islands, and depths to an open world Zelda. Yes! Great idea! However, they were really fucking boring and repetitive. They gave the game an amazing combat system, and then punished you for using it. They gave the game a complicated physics puzzle gimmick, but it was really fucking janky and overused. The added fun build ups to dungeons, but still skimped out on making the actual dungeon part. They gave Link party members, but they're boring and get in your way.

When I look at Tears of the Kingdom, all I can see is the insane amount of missed potential this game had. They could've done so much. They TRIED to do so much. But they didn't do any well at any of them! I can't help but think this all just comes down to a case of some extreme overambition. They tried to do so many things, on top of having an insanely large open world. BotW's map was way too big. TotK's map is insanely oversized. That's why my number one prayer for the next Zelda is that they SCALE THIS SHIT DOWN!!

Overall, Tears of the Kingdom isn't a bad game. When it works, it works very well. However it works so occasionally that I really wish Nintendo stops doing this new modern formula. It seems like Nintendo just doesn't know how to improve upon BotW. With TotK, they just figured "Well if we take BotW and just shove more shit into it, it'd be good right?". Well, it's not good. It's fucking mid.

As for what I want Nintendo to do instead? Well I hope that the next Zelda is just something that's radically new. You might not have expected me to say that, huh? Well honestly, I don't really care if old Zelda ever returns. If it ever did, I'd be happy for sure, but it's not like those old games are perfect either. The reason we're even in this mess is because Skyward Sword was so hated that Nintendo backpedalled so hard in the opposite direction that they fell off a cliff.

At this point, all I want is a new Zelda game that I can love again, and these modern ones just aren't it.