#satan i wasnt sure what to do with him

[gifti3]

Really into the concept of weilding your partner as a weapon

[emi-thirteensgf]

Short MC being able to pick the brothers up.

#_ gn!reader, short!mc, fluff, bad writing nd probably ooc, not proofread .. so a lot of spelling errors probably

Lucifer

asking wont go well, he will absoulutely say no at first but with puppy eyes and a bit of begging, he says yes

and he doesnt think you can pick him up but he was very wrong

you pick him up with ease— not only that your able to walk around carrying him

if you look really closely you can see a light blush cover his cheeks

then he insints that you put him down

"Pleaseee Lucifer?? Only for a second!" You say while giving him puppy dog eyes, you've been asking him for a few minutes now but he wont budge.

He lets out a sigh before finally saying, "Fine, if you even can." He gives you a smug smirk— you were rather short and although you had a little muscle to you, theres no way you could pick him up.. which that thought was immediatley proven wrong once you picked him up, bridal style.

"Told you I could do it." You say while looking at him smile, knowing that you proved him wrong and for him.. he was honestly taken by surprise, he doesnt get caught off gaurd a lot— almost never but this was surprising and if you look really closely you can see a light pink blush adorning his cheeks.

"Put me down." He says looking at you sternly, he doesn't like this one bit. Yes he does, dont think he'll admit it though. Lets hope you know to never do this infront of anybody else espcially not his brothers or Lord Diavolo, it won't end well for you.

"No." You say giving him a grin.

Mammon

he was joking around that your short and poking fun at your height

which led you to say that you could pick him up

he laughed and doubted you could but next second hes not on the ground anymore and now being carried briday style by his human

poor boy is now a flustered mess

You and Mammon were hanging out in his room and he started poking fun at your height, "Hey, I bet that I could pick you up!" You declare while crossing your arms.

He laughed, he didn't think you could— I mean your a human and your also quite short, theres no way you could but next thing he knew was that hes know swept off the ground being carried, bridal style by you.

His face was now burning red, doing anything to make sure you won't see his embarrased face— he did not think you could do that, wait don't put him down yet!

"A-ay! Ya dont have to put me down, I mean ya are obviously enjoying it so .. just keep doin' it." Now don't be surprised that when you guys are alone he'll be making you carry him.

You laugh, "Okay.. okay"

Leviathan

he also was poking fun at your height, he found it funny that you were so short

though after he said that hes now being carried, bridal style by you!

you might've broke him..

You both were hanging out in his room, planning as TSL marathon before he asked a question that also seemed to be a way to make fun of your height.. jokingly, "..Are humans always as short as you?" He asks— laughing at himself because he found it funny how your so short.

You glare at him but you have an idea in my mind to catch him off gaurd.. so you pick him up, bridal style! He's immediatley shocked and turns red.

"A-AHH?!! U.. UHM!" He can't even form a sentence, hes flustered and just spluttering nonsense as he covers his face with his hands. He forgot what he was even gonnna say— if you don't put him down soon he's sure he'll faint.

You giggle— hearing your giggle definetly broke him now.. oops!

Satan

for him it wasnt like you were asking him or anything, it was accidental but its something that'll keep him up tonight..

in short he fell of a ladder and you caught him, bridal style

he didnt think you could carry him but it was definetly flustering

Satan was in the library like usual, he was using a ladder to reach a book that peaked his interest— not noticing that you came into the library because you were looking for him.

While trying to find the book that caught his interest he lost his balance and fell .. off the ladder which was slightly embarrsing but he glad no one was there. He was expecting to hit the ground but instead of the hard ground he felt warm arms.

He looked up and realized it was you .. and you were now carrying him. "You okay Satan?" You ask in a worried voice.

"Yes.. thank you" He says— he expected that you would put him down but you didn't. This was unexpected, he didnt think you'd be able to carry him but he couldn't say he didn't enjoy this a little. A lot

He had a soft blush covering his cheeks as you finally put him down and give him a smile, it was definetly an expierence that he might just have to make happen again.

Asmodues

nothing much happened to lead to it, you just asked to pick him and obviously he agreed!

he adores that his little human is so strong

expect to carry him more often! he'll make you carry him at any place and anywhere but he find its funny to do its infront of his brothers

though you are gonna have to carry the shopping bags on his shopping sprees now..

"Hey Asmo, can I pick you up?" You ask him, you just wanted to see if you could— although you were certian you could, you kinda just wanted to

"Hm? Awh of course sweetie!" He smiles as you pick him up, he also didn't doubt you could I mean he's seen examples of your strength before and even if you couldnt it doesnt matter! I mean he'd love to pick you up too

With his answer you immediatley pick him up and to no surprise you could, "Hehe, didn't know my little human was so strong~" He says, while wrapping his arms around your neck giving you a kiss

Now he asks you to carry him a lot, infront of anyone this man has no shame. He'll also make you carry his shopping bags just let him know if your tired though and he'll just make one of his brothers carry them!

Beel

he was honestly shocked you could carry him

he enjoyed it though and asked for you to do it more often

as long as its not hurting you though!

he also starts inviting you to the gym with him

Beel was up at midnight searching for snacks again but theres this one cabinet that he can't reach— which Lucifer did purposely to stop him from eating everything they had. You were still awake because you couldn't fall alseep so you heard Beel in the kitchen. Knowing it was him you went there, you wanted to see him and you were hungry anyway.

"Oh hey MC" He says with a smile, it seemed like he was troubled so you asked what was wrong. "Lucifer made it to where I can't reach this cabinet.. and im hungry."

Sounds like something Lucifer would do. "Do you need some help?" You ask— which made him curious, you were rather short.. so it confused him. "Hm?" You didn't get a concrete answer but you knew he would go an a rampage soon if he didn't have food.. and you'd feel bad if you didn't help him.

So you lift him up so he can grab what he needs. Which shocked him but he grabbed the food so you put him down— he was happy he got his food that he immediatley started eating. "Thank you.. but uhm.." He was shocked you could pick him up but enjoyed it.

"Yeah?" You asked with a soft smile, so he could feel more comfortable saying what he wanted to say. "Could.. you carry me more often?" He asks, you giggle "Yeah of course." That made him really happy as he finished his food.

But prepare for the long scolding from Lucifer in the morning.

Belphegor

he was probably the lightest out of all brothers or one of the lightest so its not really shocking you could carry him

basically you had to carry him from the living room to your room

dont be surprised if you cant get him off of you now

"Belphiee" You were now trying to get him off of you, the both of you were in the living room and he has now fallen asleep in your lap while his arms were around your waist but you wanted to go back to your room— but he was not budging.

"Shushh.. im trying to sleep." Welp.. he was obviously not gonna get up on his own so you had to pick him up.

His eyes were wide for a second as he now wrapped his arms around your neck but now he was smirking at you with a teasing grin.

"What?" You ask, hes been tiring enough already what now..? "Wow.. carrying me to your room? Straightfoward." He says

"Shut up." You say with a small laugh. Once you got your room you two quickly fell asleep. Now expect him to be asking to be carried more often, or well demanding..

#_ DAMN that took wayy longer than i thought, sorry for the lazy writing on some of them ..

[ghost1yv]

TEEN!MC

where the brothers find out that teen!mc, who they practically see as a little sister now has a crush on somebody, how would they react? — gn!mc thats around 16-17 years old

small note_ im gonna say the demon that MC has a crush on is somehow the same age.. dont ask how just go along with it!

MC could not stop getting distracted while they were on cooking duty with Satan. They obviously had something on their mind that was distracting them but everytime that he asked they just brushed it off and tried— key word tried to focus on the task at hand. He also noticed before that they would get distracted or seemed to be lost in their mind during other ocasions. Now that just got him curious, what could be distracting MC so much? He wantsd to figure it out himself but he decided to consile his brothers about it, even if he didnt exactly like that the idea.

"Satan what did you call all of us in here for?" Lucifer asked while crossing his arms, it was after dinner and he decided to call all of his brothers to the living rook while MC was in their room. "Yeah.. I was just getting ready to have an anime marathon with MC!" Levi said sulking— not very excited to be out of his room espcially since Satan interupted him while he was setting up his room so him and MC could watch one of his favorites together.

Before any of his other brothers could complain sbout how he interupted them and whatever they were doing Satan sighed and said, "Well haven't you all noticed that MC has seemed lost in their thoughts recently?"

"I haven't noticed anything about that idiot lately." Belphegor says looking half asleep, but truthfully he had noticed that they seemed to be more distracted recently. Asmo chimes in, "Well.. whenever im hanging out with MC they seem to barely be listening anymore!" He pouts thinking about whenever hes been painting his nails with MC, or going out to shop with them that they haven't really been paying attention.

"They've been ignoring me too!" Mammon says before Beel responds, "Maybe they're just thinking about food." I mean thats what he's almost always thinking about... "Thats what you always think about.." Levi says

"Back to what I was saying.." Satan says— with an annoyed expression, "I've been trying to think of what could be distracting them so much." He continues and now all of them are trying to guess what could MC possibly be thinking about that causes them to lose focus or start ignoring them?

Mammon laughs, "Definitely money!"

Belphegor rolls his eyes before saying, "Probably 'bout sleep."

"Ohh!!! Maybe they're thinking about their favorite anime or.. characters, maybe even games!" Levi says excitedly about the idea of MC having the same thoughts as him

"Cats? Or maybe they read a book that they enjoyed and can't seem to get their mind off it." Satan suggests

Lucifer sighs shaking his head, annoyed at his younger brothers, "Isn't this supposed to be what MC is thinking about?"

Asmo seemed to have an idea and gasped dramatically, "Wait.. what if our little human has a crush..?" He says whike smiling, happy to be a your wingman if you do! Oh and he can dress you up for your dates, aslong as whoever your crushing on is good for you though!

All the brothers fall silebt for a second before Mammon says, "Hah, No way!" He brushed off the idea before Satan cuts in, "No.. that could be it."

LUCIFER

he wasnt very pleased with this idea, espcially since that definetely seems like that is whats distracting you

extra protective, he would be anyway— but its a demon..

and demons are known to trick humans.

he HAS to see who your crushing on and make sure theyre not gonna try anything

oh but dont think your off the hook if they have no bad intentions hes still overprotective

.. but if they have no ill intent then hes more open

no sleepovers though!

basically an overprotective parent

MAMMON

hes not happy with this either..

not like lucifer though, hes more open

he'll even sneaks you out and help you avoid lucifer

and trys to be your wingman!

probably going to have to convince him with grimm or puppy dog eyes— hes weak to those..

also has to see who your crushing on and hes going to pratically interogate them to see if theyre good for you..

that poor demon just wanted to have some peace before they got bombarded with questions

but after he knows theyre good for you hes pretty chill

LEVIATHAN

not very happy either!

though its only because he still wants to spend time with you

where your actually paying attention..

so you'll need to assure him that you will spend with him and you'll listen to him

after that he doesnt really care

though he also wants to make sure that your crush would actually be good for you if you try to pursue them

he wont sneak you out or anything but he wont snitch if your going to hang out with them

so also chill, as long as the demon you like isn't going to hurt you in anyway

SATAN

had mixed feelings— he was intruiged on how you came to like this demon but also wasnt very happy that it was some unknown demon

if it was someone he knew wouldnt have any ill intentions he wouldve erased the second part but it was some unknown demon..

but after he sees the demon and knows they dont have any bad intentions then hes okay with it

he still warns you to be cautious though

he'll help sneak you out only to see lucifer angry

although most are probably cheesy, he'll try to give you some tips on how to ask someone out that he's read in romance novels or seen some people do

basically another one that doesnt care that much

ASMO

he is beyond excited about this!

of course— he'll make sure the demons good for you but after that he is now your wingman!

will help you talk to them, or even talk to them for you!

oh and cant wait til you guys start dating! oh hunny he is going to make you look so good!

he absolutely supports it! maybe a little too much..

also helps you sneak out and see whoever you like

but its all in good nature!

BEELZEBUB

hes happy for you and doesnt care that much

he also warned you to be cautious

again, he made sure he was good for you

but he did ask you to meet them or at least see them

after that he didnt care— covered for you if your sneaking out

but hes probably not the best option to hide it.. once lucifer offers him food then he snitches

but hes really sorry for doing so, he just couldnt resist food

he'll listen to you ramble about them as he eats

pretty much just happy for you

BELPHIE

similiar to satan— he had mixed feelings

he didnt really care for the most part

but definitely needed to see who this demon was and made sure they werent going to use you

also sneaks you out to make lucifer angry— sometimes to annoy you he will snitch

gets annoyed when your wont stop going on about your crush to him while hes trying to sleep

he does tease you about it though, a lot.

other than that he really doesnt care

end_ if you couldnt tell this was supposed to be a small fic.. but i got lazy

[beetlebug-bii]

Part 3 of feral mc but with Belphie being released from the attic. Just imagine Belphie trying to kill mc and they just bite him. Not even Barbatos could handle the child so I highly doubt Belphie could either lol.

Feral Child Mc (part three)

MC Gets Betrayed & Bombastically Side Eyed Their Way To Beating A Bitch.

A/N: I like my writing to be nothing short of silly goofy, i also wrote this at like 4am two weeks ago and was so surprised to see it in my drafts. Did i proof read it? No.

Enjoy anyways💕

Now, you have been a menace since you've arrived

Only truly unstoppable by Diavolo, Lucifer and Barbatos on a good day

Today

Was not one of those days

No

Not at all

You see

Late in the night after being very snuggly tucked in

And then duck taped to the bed

And then your pajamas stapled to the bed

And then tied to the bed

In their defense

Not a single brother has gotten a single decent night of sleep

Not since Mammon awoke one night to see your little face peeking out from the vents

You screamed at him and launched from the darkness, stealing his sun glasses before scrumbling deep into the walls

no one has ever heard Mammon scream so loudly

Needless to say they were pretty fucking done with your scrumbling

Besides, they tied Satan to the bed and look at him! A totally chill and normal member of society :D

Anyways you were built different and managed to escape

You had to check on your little friend in the attic after all, it had been a few days

Upon going in, you glared at eachother for exactly three minutes and fourteen seconds

Before he started the whole sweet act on you

"Awh hey, you can let me out now right? You can do that? Whose a good little human?"

Offense taken

You werent a dog

though you wont lie and say you havent growled back at Cerberus before...

No you know what

Who does this man think he is?

You are a child with 6 of the deadliest pacts in the world!

...

...

...

Wait a second

Who thought that was a good idea

Genuinely

You are feral

A monster

The other students at RAD cower before you

You made the Angel's cry

YOU CHOKED BARBATOS WITH A SHOE LACE

WHO IN THE 7 CIRCLES OF HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A PACT WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

well whatever it's not like this is gonna come back and bite you

But you werent gonna release the bitch from his kennel

Not without a price

Mammon would be so so proud of you!

It took a lot of back and forth, but he promised 12 firecrackers, a new plushie, and a trip to the candy store

Hell yea candy

Open up oh magic lock

Oh he fucking kicked you across the room

Well that's not fucking candy

Lying prick

So this fucking incel loser started ranting about something or other

To be honest you didnt care

In fact you decided he didnt get a monologue

You were pissed off

You freed him

Were you the embodiment of capitalism while doing so?

Maybe

But that doesnt mean he can just hit you

Like

You have such a cute face

He's just mad that you're the baby of the family now

And that thought gave you a great idea!!

"I'm telling Lucifer"

Would have been your final words

Had you not been

Well

You.

Next thing you know he's chasing you down the stairs, grabbing you and choking you out

Which

Not gonna lie

Was a bitch move

So you kicked him square in the jaw and started screaming, just like papa lucifer taught

Stranger danger kids

Dont release strange men from the attic in exchange for candy

It's not worth it and they are lying

So obviously you pissed off what's his name

You're pretty sure its bitch boy

Anyways so you pissed off bitch boy and he started trying to stab you with a chair leg

Which was like

So rude

And the others were like bro stop

Except more panicked you're pretty sure but you werent a crybaby bitch like this loser so you know

You had to go for the knees

You slid around him, kicked him in the back of the knees

This wasnt your first rodeo

Apparently

Because you climbed on the demonic cow and grabbed the horns man

You were holding on for dear life before you just bit into his head

Like

I dont think he even knew what to do at that point

You ruined his WHOLE SPEECH

THEN FOR SOME REASON YOU GOT MAD AT HIM

gee I wonder why

THEN HIS BROTHERS SHOWED UP

THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT WENT AT ALL

PRICK

Recounting this tale now, a few months later, you'd like to think that he was just being the most frfr brother out of everyone

You two had to be torn apart like a pair of summer popsicles

You were kicking and screaming

He was kicking and screaming

Mammon was kicking and screaming, somehow his leg got caught in between you two

It was a warzone

The hallway was destroyed

Multiple bedrooms? Just gone

The brothers?

So

So tired...

None of that fake shit

Deep down you know you would've won though

You still call him bitch boy💕

[nalyra-dreaming]

hi!! before i ask my question i just want to say i ADORE your blog. your analyses are so interesting and genuine and i love reading them.

my question is pertaining to armand in the show. in the show they have him coming from a muslim background. what impact or bearing do you think this will have on the portrayal of les innocents?

sorry if this is worded strangely i wasnt sure how to word this 😅

Hey!

So glad you like! *hugs*

And all good, I think I know what you mean^^

Okay, so, back when the show aired someone (unfortunately I couldn't find the post, but if someone remembers who and has that post...?) remarked that the prayer Armand was shown to do was slightly wrong. I am not Muslim, so that did not click for me, but there was a discussion about it.

Now I believe Assad would know how to do that prayer and I think the show doing it just a bit wrong might be another hint. I think Armand is probably converting. Has converted. Wants to convert. We'll see.

The area Armand is from was heavily contended back then. It will be interesting to see if they give him a muslim original background or a christian one, because depending on how they spin it, it might change the character story (of being captured and sold as a (sex) slave) a bit. I believe they will keep that part of the story, because Armand can be seen to react to Daniel's flippant "save it for the rent boy".

But, either way, he was eventually picked up by Marius, and educated in Venice (I don't think they'll change that). I do think that the rest of it (the attack on Marius and him, the capture by Santino and the Children of Satan etc) will then play out no matter the underlying religion he had.

And eventually... he will be sent to lead the coven under Les Innocents.

Now the show has shifted Lestat's turning into the time of the "Reign of Terror", to 1794. That is important, because then Lestat cannot have encountered Armand and the coven under Les Innocents, because Les Innocents was closed in 1785 and that closing of the cemetery plays a part in the story.

Lestat will have to encounter the coven somewhere else already. And they still will need to relocate, or are prompted to relocate through the events with Lestat.

So I think... the muslim part (if originally his religion or not) might not play that much into the Les Innocents part after all. Because the importance of Les Innocents has been somewhat removed through the time shift already, and I also think that Armand was never the big believer in the cause. Oh he led his coven, true, he followed the rules. Enforced them. But believe? In the sense of the word?

I think Armand held onto it all because there was nothing else to hold onto for a long, long time.

In the books the events of Memnoch are a kind of wake up call for Armand. IF Lestat is really in his coma in modern Dubai, as theorized after some kind of Memnoch-type event, then that wake up call might have happened there as well.

And Armand might have decided to convert / return to his (chosen?) religion.

To return to the portrayal of Les Innocents: I think the coven under Les Innocents will have happened, and will be mentioned. We know there will be someone called "Andrei" in s2, so we might get a flashback to Armand as a child. I think Les Innocents might be a flashback like this. Who knows, maybe they went with the bones into the catacombs after.

(Or, of course, the show ignores the cemetery being relocated, buttttt they've been so good with these RL events so far? I doubt it.)

So these are my thoughts on this. Hope it makes sense! :))

[sucker4sixx]

20 minutes in hell

Recycled from 2023!

Plot: halloween party fun!

Warnings: smut/closet sex/protection/public sex

The time was 8pm when you entered vinces halloween house party, the stink of men and cigarettes danced around the house like it had made its self quite comfortable. You open the front door to see many girls in mini skirts and crop tops strutting around probably trying to be sexy mince or something.

You where begged by a mutual friend ehren to come so he would have someone to talk to, you and ehren where best buddys and he always enjoyed having you around. You werent so close to vince and you definitely didnt like his friend, nikki sixx. Something about him annoyed you, low hygene, loud voice, a "im a sleaze" personality and many more could be the reason but even just seeing him boiled your blood.

You wore a black lacy dress and a cheap witch hat with a little bit of makeup.

You weaved yourself through the croud into the living room where vince the.. whatever he is and ehren the zombie where sitting, vince didnt look to intrested in the conversation, he was too busy looking down the girl who sat on the floors cleavage. "Hey ehren" you tap his sholder, the goofy looking boy turned around smiling brightly "hey your here finally!" You took a seat "hey vince!" He turned round fast at the mention of his name, not seeing you arrive "oh hey yn! Take a seat sure!" he said smiling at you, he turned round to check more girls out.

Ehren unwrapped a 8 pack of beer he had waiting in a bag at his legs and you shared them talking about any stuff you could. Soon enough "hey sixx! Come sit down. Where have you been?" You smelt his arrival before he had even walked in the door, ehren saw your face sour and sighed knowing it had killed your mood. Nikki dressed as satan glanced at you and turned to vince "what the fuck is the scottish prick doing here?" He tried to whisper but he said it loud enough for you to hear "fuck you maybe learn some basic hygiene then we can talk" he darted you a look and stuck the middle finger up "pathetic" you mouth at him. You both turn around and start talking to your friends again "what is it with you two?" Ehren said cracking another can of beer "he thinks hes better because he's famous well he can go suck a fat fucking cock im telling you man" ehren spits out his beer laughing "wouldnt be his first time" he adds making you laugh more.

After you guys finished your 4 cans each ehren headed to the toilet (meaning he will be away for while checking out the house) and you went to the kitchen to get more drink.

After 20 Scuse me's and sorry can i get buys you finally arrived in the kitchen, not too busy but definitely wasnt empty. You opened the fridge to look for more alcohol "whats the deal? You hate me so much that your following me around now?" You head shoots up and you turn round to see the tall black haired man looking down at you with a can of beer in his hand "what the fuck? No im getting drink?" He rolls his eyes "yeah sure. Ive heard that one before" your face went red from anger and embarrassment

"im not fucking following you the only thing following you is the trail of flys and stench" nikki scoffs "i dont smell that bad" you turn round to grab a can of beer from the fridge and notice him smelling himself when you turn back around "now arse whole get out my way and let me back into the living room" he gets visibly more angry "i dont fucking smell bad" his grip tightens on his beer can "whatever makes you sleep at night now let me past" he doesnt budge so you push him making him stumble backwards and head back to the living room.

You sit on the couch alone waiting for ehren to come back. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. 40 minutes where the fuck is he. You find vinces home phone and call him, he picks up after a few seconds

"Hello?"

"Ehren where the fuck are you?"

"I umm..."

you hear a girl giggle in the backround and snap your phone shut, prick. Oh well lets 'mingle'? You get up from your seat and walk around the rooms, none of the men catching your eyes since they all looked the same.

You open the basement door and hear tommys distinct laugh, you got exited and sprinted down the stairs "tommy!" He was resting on the couch dressed as a cowboy and sat up when he saw you, smiling wide "hey darlin!" He got up and gave you a hug

"howve you been?" He looked down at you walking over to the couch "pretty good, yourself?" The slinky man flopped down onto the couch "pretty good!" A fake cough sounded from the couch opposite, nikki. "As i was saying before i was very rudely interrupted" he gave you a harsh look and you found a seat next to tommy. Vince, nikki and a two of their stoner friends where sitting on the couch opposite from you and you sat on a couch with tommy and mick (dressed as a vampire). You forced yourself to listen to nikki talking about some girl that tried it on with him, picking at your nails in boredom.

The room went silent and the feeling of all the boys thinking of something to say filled the air "how about, we play spin the bottle?" Tommy said, all your heads turning go him "i mean we will need a few more ladys but sure!" Nikki said enthusiastically. "ill go get some" vince stood up, walking out to the party.

Nikki chugs the beer bottle he was holding since everyone else had cans, he put it down and you all sat round in a circle waiting for vince to return. "Man im so exited" tommy said breaking the silence, you looked up at nikki panicking at the thought you could get him, he caught your eye "stop drooling over me" this made the boys turn to you noticing your face go red

"was just looking at your fly buddies" mick laughs alot at this one, when mick laughs you know its good. Vince returned with the 4 sluttiest looking girls he could find, more beer and slash, he loved to party with the band "found this douche wandering around upstairs!" Slash waves at you all and heads over to nikki to sit "hey dude!" Nikki smiles at him. After we all settled round a circle you were sat next to slash and mick, nikki and vince sitting straight across from you and the other girls scattered inbetween the rest.

Round one- mick and vince, a quick peck and alot of laughter after

Round two- tommg and girl number 1, she blushed but he gave her a light hearted smile back

Round three- you and girl number 4, the boys got exited but you werent giving them what they wanted so you gave the girl a quick kiss.

"Ugh this is boring" vince complained and everyone nodded "how about seven minutes in heaven but heres the twist here me out ive been thinking of it for awhile you all looked at vince equally as contused, nothing that came out his mouth was predictable "so the men switch clothes like we throw them in a pile cover our eyes and just wear what we lift and the girls go shove on my clothes, i have a bunch of old halloween masks and we play the game in silence" you all went silent thinking of his stupid idea, not so stupid to be honest. "Im in" you say and everyone started agreeing "okay so the masks are down here ill get them out and leave four at the door, girls go get changed"

You trailed behind the rest of the girls up to vinces room noticing the party was dying at the absence of the boys. You walked into the room and the stink off aftershave lingered in the air, grabbing a pair of baggy black joggers and a baggy black shirt that was crumpled. You entered his bathroom that connected to his room to get changed and shoved on your outfit as quick as possible to get out of the akward situation, you put on the shirt and it read "i love vince neil" now you look like a slut for him. Great.

You left without the girls and headed to the basement door where you could hear fumbling but no words, looks like the boys where taking this seriously. You waited till the noise of clothes getting shoved on stopped and opened the door to see four rubber halloween masks, bunny, gorilla, bird and a cat. You grabbed the cat mask shoving it on fast, the faint smell of smoke from the inside combing through your nostrils, you walked down the stairs greeted by a dog, horse, another bird, another cat, mouse and a zombie. When the girls came down you all silently sat in a circle and one of the girls span the bottle fast, leaving it spinning for some time. It landed on the other cat and he span the bottle again just as fast, you watched the bottle go round and round and round almost becoming hypnotised. It slowed down and your breath caught your throat as it landed on you

"WHY ME" you screamed in your head standing up slowly with the cat who sat only two people away.

He took your hand gently and led you to the closet in the extension room in the basement. You entered the pich black closet and stumbled over a few shoes as your hands found the mans shoulders, he was tall and quite wide built. You both took off your masks still unable to see eachothers faces, the mystery man grabbed your face and started kissing you roughly it scared you at the beginning but you realised he really knew what he was doing so let him beat up your mouth with his own. As you started making out it became more clear who it was, tall, built and smells nice. Its slash. You didnt mind this, slash is hot so you continued, smiling lightly. He removed his shirt and started slipping off yours, you gasped softly not sure if this was the original plan but you never got bitches so once again let it happen. Slash started feeling your breasts through your lacy bra making you whimper softly and tangle your hand in his long hair, he slowly unclipped your bra and started licking your nipple and playing with the other in his hand. Your moans become louder as he speeds up, stopping to unzip his jeans and you sigh at the loss of contact. The tall man finds his way onto the ground, his jeans and pants removed. You take off your joggies and pants, not sure if you wanted to do it with slash since he might have multiple stds but before you could think of your next plan he got out a condom, you could only tell it was one from the small light that reflected off it. He whimpered softly as he slipped on the condom as you sat on his legs watching him, taking in this weird moment. Your about to have closet sex with slash hudson.

Slash gently moves you onto your back and taps your thigh for consent to eat you out, you hummed a permission and he went straight for it. His tongue darting between your folds and your clit, your back arching at the sudden movements. He pulled your legs closer to him and started going faster, sticking his tongue inside occasionally as you moaned loud grabbing his hair. He brought his finger in and started circling your clit while licking your entrance, his other hands holding your wrists together to get some sort of control. Your moans became uncontrollable and desperate as you met your high, he noticed and continued what he was doing with intent to let you finish first. A minute later you where a moaning mess, cumming into his mouth. Hes an expert at this shit. You sat up and he lifted you onto his lap, his hard dick resting against your stomach as he moved his hand over your forehead to clean it of sweat.

You moved your hand down and started feeling his covered tip and he rested his head against your sholder, his dick was really hard. You started pumping him slowly at the base before lifting yourself up, letting your pussy hover over his dick to tease him and to ask him for consent. He moved his dick to where your entrance is and grabbed your hips pushing you down harshly "oh fuck" you both moaned out, you paused hearing a voice that didnt belong to slash and he paused too clearly hearing your accent. "Y/n?" the voice said cowardly

"NIKKI?"

You shrieked, trying to get up. He held your hips down, his hard dick still inside you "cmon its only fair you finish me off since i made you such a riot" you stuttered and froze looking down at where the sleazy idiots voice sounded. He didnt sound so harsh and as much as you hated to admit it you where enjoying youself so you did as he asked, bouncing softly building up a pace. Feeling slightly turned on by the fact your fucking the guy you hate the most. He let out small whimpers and groans and you grinded against him moaning yourself "your so good when your mouths shut" he moaned out "shut up prick" you kissed his jaw line and continued grinding on him feeling yourself approaching your second orgasm.

He turned on the closet light that hung from a string next to him. You felt exposed but you where fascinated by him, his face red and stray hairs sticking to his forehead "fuck you look amazing" he said smiling and tilting his head back further. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you relentlessly as you practically screamed in pleasure, resting your head on his sholder. "Nikki im so close" saying his name felt like needles in your mouth and he rested his head on your sholder slowing down "for someone who hates me so much you are really liking this huh?" Your face went somehow more red as he stopped still inside you, angry at him for ruining your orgasm "what the fuck are you doing!" you puzzled

"edging you? What does it look like?" You brows furrowed "fine let me go ill go finish myself off somewhere else with someone else" you tried to move your hips off him but he only held them tighter holding you down, the tip of his dick brushing your cervix "no. Im finishing" he sounded more angry but it just turned you on more, he slowly pulled out a little and thrusted back in, doing tiny fast thrusts staring right into your eyes.

Sweat rolled down his face and his green eyes became wider as you finished, your pussy throbbing around his dick. Before he could moan you attached your lips to his, kissing as he moaned into your mouth "fuck fuck im really close" he whimpered, still thrusting into you. He grabbed your hips and started fucking into you as hard as he could like you werent even there, you where his own little toy. He muttered stuff like "fuck you feel amazing" and "holy shit" as he came into the condom, his body softly pulsing as he rested on your sholder, panting for air.

After two minutes of resting against eachother naked you stood up slowly, in pain, seeing the white balloon that covered his dick. He rested his head back and you took the condom off him carefully being careful not to spill any cum on him, his head darted up at your sudden kindness. You just dumped the used condom in the bin that sat in the corner, you sat next to him, both of you still naked "so um, you got any tissues? Im dripping down here man" he laughed and picked up the 'i love vince neil' shirt, wiping you clean "thanks nikki" you said shyly "hey its alright, thanks too" you both looked down at your legs. Two minutes later you started shoving on clothes again, nikki giving you his clean shirt to wear and you just shoved back on the joggies leaving him shirtless.

You exited the closet to see a whole group of people sitting around. Shit. You both forgot it was seven minutes in heven not 20 minutes in hell. The croud went silent as they saw you "holy fucking shit" tommy said breaking the silence "that sounded hot, when is it my turn?"

[kanatashinkaifr]

going to talk abt obey me and how they are all extremely neurodivergent!!! gonna go through my thoughts on each characters who stands out to me in one way or another.

Lucifer- he has NPD. dont even try to argue with me about this. from the way he holds himself to an extremely high standard to how hes LITERALLY the avatar of pride, hes just a total narc and I love him dearly. I also consider him to be autistic. half bcuz he shows some signs half bcuz I'm autistic and love projecting onto characters. I think that the way he is so strict and finds being on time so important is extremely autistic of him. he follows a very specific routine, and if said routine is messed with, he is unapproachable for atleast the rest of the day. this is shown in likee late lesson 24 or early lesson 25 I forget. he also has issues with emotions. both showing and I think even identifying them. autistic man. ALSO ptsd. duh.

mammon: adhd. he has adhd. he doesnt have npd, HOWEVER, he totally shows symptoms. he acts like hes on top of the world but the second a minor inconvenience happens he is just. reduced to nothing. I also like the hc of him being dyslexic.

levi: AUTISM AUTISM AUTISM!!! yeah that ones obvious like extremely obvious. stg autism runs into the family or smth cuz it feels like mammon and asmo are the only allistics in that mf house. dont need to explain why Levi is autistic. its obvious. if you really need an explanation just ask. but I also think he has severe social anxiety. like to the point that he gets extremely sick at the thought of social interaction. over the years, and with lots of trial and error medication, he can sort of deal with it now. still freaks him out though.

Satan: I think he takes after his father. like. A LOT. he is so npd and so autistic. I think that he really prides himself on his smarts but like. if he were to fail/get an average mark on a test (especially if lucifer got a high mark) he would disintegrate out of pure self hatred. if lucifer is better than him in any academic topic, you can practically feel the envy and rage coming from him. lucifer understands how he feels, and always tries to help him with his npd issues, but that just upsets him tenfold. "you think that *I* need *YOUR* help??? disgusting!". he has such issues I love him so much. not much to comment on his autism. also quite obvious, especially in nightbringer.

Asmo- I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE THINK ASMO HAS NPD AND LIKE I GET THE IDEA BUT NO. HE HAS HPD AND I WILL FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL OVER THAT HC.

beel: autism. binge eating disorder. ptsd.

belphie: autism. BPD!!!!! B!! P!!! D!!!!!!!! I will scream it from the roof tops THAT MAN HAD BPD IDC WHAT YOU SAY!! impulsivity (especially when angry), unstable relations (mostly hc), uncontrolled anger, chronic emptiness (hc), self destructiveness, fear of abandonment. you look into the DSM-5 and there is a picture of him there. I think that. he might have PTSD too.

diavolo: autism. I dont care what anyone says I think he is an autistic woman who was just forced into masking. c-ptsd due to mainly emotional neglect.

solomon: autism. no canon reason to support this I'm just projecting. c-ptsd. he has very complicated feeling surrounding loneliness and abandonment due to his childhood.

simeon: autism. C-PTSD!!!!!!! I think that. there wasnt nessacarily anything that could generally be considered traumatizing. but a lot of things in his early days were extremely stressful for him. I think that hes always questioned the word of God just a bit. he made sure nobody ever found out, but he always had doubt within him. this has always eaten at him, as he is supposed to be an angel. Angel's do not doubt the word of their father,, so, why does he?

ermm okay I think that's. enough ranting for today...

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains and: What They Would Put in the Hat

(The 7 Minutes in Heaven hat)

This was pretty much inspired by This post by @your-mxnd-is-mxne ! ^^

Warnings: Cursing and gore (As in limbs being put in the hat)

Animal the Cannibal: A potato peeler. BE CAREFUL.

Baby Firefly: A cute scrunchie. Put it in your hair!! She thinks you'll look so cute ^^ If you don't have hair/its too short, you can put it in hers! ^^ (So basically you win everything)

Billy Loomis: A folded up poster for the local cinema's horror night. They're playing Psycho, The Birds and then Psycho 2 Back-To-Back.

Bo Sinclair: Little plyers. he never leaves home without them, so you better give them back! Play nice and he may use them on you *cough*

Bubba Sawyer: A pig femur... its not clean...

Candyman: A little leather bound journal with his poetry in it. If he likes you, maybe he'll read you some!!

Captain Spaulding: A pamphlet for his shop! He'd just fucken love to show you around.

Carrie White: A pencil. She wasn't sure and she didn't have a whole lot on her! she hopes that's okay ^^

Chop Top Sawyer: His sunnies! Not his wig, that's special. But you got his glasses! He even wants to see you put them on.

Chucky Lee Ray: He put his whole damn shoe in there. I mean, he's a doll. Why not? // If he's in his human form, though, maybe... a... condom...

BONUS for @your-mxnd-is-mxne because its their idea in the first place ^^ Daddy Hall- *cough* I mean Doc Halloran!: Bullet casing. Its, oddly enough, the only thing that was in his pockets?? 😅 After all he is only here to hunt Leslie- see if you can distract him, though.

Dr Suave: A pack of tooth floss from his pocket. He's a dentist, what do you expect from him?

Drayton Sawyer: The keys to the chilly van (Its all he had on him). He's gonna want them back.

Freddy Krueger: A scrap oh his sweater and it turns to dirty brown dust as soon as you see what it is.

Granny Boone: Buckman's initialed handkerchief.

Harper Alexander: A twig that's been widdled a whole bunch. It may snap in your hand- don't you worry, he don't mind ^^

Inkubus: Ripped piece of paper with a backwards K scribbled into it. You get ink stains on your fingers.

Jack Dante: An action figure! Probably He-Man or something. You can play with it for now but you're gonna give it back when he goes home.

Jason Voorhees: A chunk of moss. Its squishy and fresh.

Jedidiah Sawyer: A tie! He's a well dressed man and always brings an extra XD

Jennifer Check: Cherry Coke Chapstick! You know she's that super cool person who had all the branded soda flavours. And she may even apply some to you~

Jerry Dandridge: His scarf. And its cold- why don't you wear it for a while?~ He's very charming. And this is the man you're gonna get stuck in a closet alone with for nearly 10 minutes! Goodluck-

Leslie Vernon: His mask. He's gotta spread the word!! Make sure people know who he is! This felt like a marketing opportunity.

Lester Sinclair: That grizzly lookin' knife of his. Listen to him chat about it and he'll love you forever.

Luda Mae Hewitt: Wooden spoon. Her logic? If she goes in there with someone iffy she can beat them with it.

Max Grief: Cassette tape out of his car. He wasnt sure what to really put in, so, *shrug*

Mayor Buckman: Boone's initialed handkerchief (Yeahhhh, they're cute like that XD).

Mental Manny: Straw twisted and bent into the shape of some satanic symbol. You feel uncomfortable holding it. But oh, he wants you to have it now~~ A gift.

Michael Myers: Someone's ear.

Mickey Altieri: A snack. Like a cookie from a vending machine or a pack of 2 minute noodles. You can have it, no worries.

Midnight Man: The page with the names on it. ... wanna play a game?

Miss Quinn: Her hand mirror. Come on now, sweetheart!!~ We'll make you look pretty.

Monty Hewitt: A screwdriver. You got anything he can fix up rela quick? He doesn't mind, if it means he can get away from Hoyt for a bit.

Otis B. Driftwood: You don't wanna know. I'm not telling you. Put it down.

Pamela Voorhees: Her drivers licence. She was looking in her wallet and thought it was logical- plus she sure as hell wasn't putting in her polaroid of Jason.

Patrick Bateman: His card, of course. Its so damn crisp- you get a paper cut.

Pennywise: A horn! Honk honk!

Rocco the Clown: Some poor bastard's kneecap. Yes. A kneecap. And I still won't tell you what Otis put in the hat.

Roman Bridger: A very fancy pen. The kind thats like 50 dollars for one. It's for signing contracts but he likes to show off that he has it.

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt Jr: 'His' sheriff's badge! He wants you to comment on it, too- call him Sheriff Hoyt- stroke his ego. That's all he wants.

Stu Macher: A lollipop! You can have it, he's already sucking one. You two can have matching blue tongues!

Stuart Lloyd: Someone forced him to chuck in the USB that his little movie is on- he's terribly anxious about it and hope that you'll just give it right back and don't play it. Its not done...

DBD! The Clown: A little travel bottle with a suspicious liquid inside. He suggests that you drink it... I suggest you do not. Unless, you know, you're into it-

DBD! The Deathslinger: A wrench. He's a handy man and never leaves the house without his handy wrench!

The Djinn: ... the jewel...

DBD! The Huntress: A bunny ear from a bunny doll. She can do it herself but if you sew it back onto her dolly then you have a friend for life.

The Man (Hush): A switchblade. He's gonna want it back but (; you can keep it while you're in the closet with him if it makes you feel safer.

Taxidermist: Some kind taxidermists tool. Maybe a fleshing cone or a necker knife.

Thomas Hewitt: A pretty rock. 🪨

Vincent Sinclair: A notepad so he can talk to you if you don't know sign language ^^

Winslow Foxworth Coltrane: A crushed can of coke. He doesn't carry shit around with him and he sure as fuck is not handing over his knife.

[xnchxntmxnt]

If you're taking Nightbringer requests (well this might be more of a ramble than a request tbh):

With the way we can suggest certain things that might influence the OG timeline (like suggesting to Luci where to hide Goldie), do you think us being here is creating some sort of a time loop paradox? Like the Exchange program was highly influenced by MC's future-past self in OldTimey Devildom, but OldTImey Devildom wouldn't have existed without Exchange Program MC and it's all just a huge timeline mess (or, as Nightbringer put it, like mud).

Plus if that's the case, then us going back to our "regular" timeline probably erased the boys' memory of us.

Anyways I'm just imagining MC making it back to their normal spacetime and having to explain what happened to their demons (and maybe them unlocking their memories of OldTimey us, idk) and I'm curious what your thoughts are

i wasnt sure how to answer this in writing (like a oneshot or smth) but I CAN reply with my own thoughts i hope that's okay :D i put in a cut so its not so long

ok im not very far in but i can tell you this

personally, i'm not a huge fan of time travel tropes. its a lot to wrap my head around but i do think from a timeline standpoint its gonna change things and that can be fun to think about. i just gotta wrapp my head around it for a sec 😅

i think the boys would all have different reactions do it. considering/assuming they have memories of og obey me events and nightbringer, i think everything would make more and less sense at the same time.

mc is probably going to be incredibly confused (when aren't they tbh) and the boys are going to think everything happened. linear-ly.

from mc's perspective, they got to the devildom but were sent back in time later. according to the demons & co. (solomon, simeon, etc.), they met mc, then they left (?), and diavolo brought them back from the human world because of the exchange program without any memories of the demon world. however it's mc's actual first time in the devildom. maybe this erases the boys memories too.

i believe, knowing what we do about barbatos, that he's the one at fault for all the time travel stuff and he's the unknown person at the beginning of nightbringer. maybe im wrong. idk i think its the only reasonable explanation based on the characters we know so far.

there's a lot of ways this could go, but lets assume no one loses their memories when they come back to the "present", mc's memory is gonna be a lot different than the boys because they did things out of order. i think this is where i get to finally your question (I tend to ramble, can't you tell 😂)

i think lucifer takes it the best. he knows barbatos is powerful and figures this kind of magic isn't out of the question. he's glad to have you back, though to him it didn't seem like you were gone at all. he also apologizes for any way his past self might have treated you since it was directly after the celestial war.

mammon is a different story. he gives up on trying to understand time travel and when he makes the connection that was YOU, HIS mc, he gets all sorts of defensive. feels your face all over and makes sure you're still his mc and that you're still normal and that time travelling didn't change you any (if anything, it could have changed him, but you don't mention that. probably would freak him out more)

levi thinks about it like a video game. he understands, but pulls you aside later and begs for you to explain everything and anything that happened because now he believes he should pitch this to some animator friends he made online to see if it could be a new up and coming anime.

satan is pretty quiet. mostly, he's just happy that you're okay. he waits for all the chaos to settle and makes sure you're physically fine, then swears he'll hurt whoever sent you back in time and away from the rest of them. he also apologizes if he ever hurt you int he past that he may not remember distinctly. please reassure him its okay.

asmo is the first to pounce on you for a hug. immediately. you explain that you were gone for what felt like forever and he's SO happy to have you back!! insists that he gives you a makeover and you do a self care day for you to unwind after having to deal with their antics when they first got to the devildom.

beel low key wants to take you from asmo (and almost does) when you suggest you'll spend the whole next day with him and belphie. beel's idea of quality time is eating food & watching movies with people, so when you agree to do that, he agrees to not argue with asmo about who gets to make sure you're okay first. he's not really sure about this time travel business, but he knows he cares about you a lot and the thought that he (or him at the moment) wasn't there to protect you makes him feel a bit guilty.

belphie is more or less on the same lines as beel. he takes a bit more convincing to not pummel asmo (he's worried about you in his own way). however, he wants to spend the whole day learning about your adventures and trying to figure out how you remember everything versus how he does. his best way to think about it is like a weirdly-specific and realistic dream, but actually in reality. it's strange, but its the best way to wrap his head around everything.

i tried my best to answer your question!! i also started writing this WAY to late for my brain to be functioning properly so im sorry if this doesn't make sense :(( but thank you for sending smth in!! i love talking about these guys they're so fun. let me know if you have any other thoughts/want me to share any of my own!

[frenchfrywrites]

Remember the "demon bros wet the bed while you're in it" headcanons? I'm interested in a little twist on that. How would the demon bros each react if you wet the bed while they're in it... On purpose?

Reader wets the bed with the demon bros in it

MINORS DNI

mm brain full with this ask, and piss being used as a social hierarchy thing in demon culture.. So that’s gonna influence how I answer this lol

Lucifer

I have to imagine that he’s awake when you do this

(because to me hes such a heavy sleeper once he finally passes out)

He’s entranced 

His pupils are wide and he’s staring so hard

He tries to wake you up, but only after you’ve finished

So bad at hiding how aroused he is

You either have to pick up on his very apparent horny state and initiate something, or poke at him until he breaks

He’s a little embarrassed by how hot he found it

But not enough to pass up on the chance for you to get him off

Mammon

He gets awoken immediately

And he’s so excited and delighted!!

Cue purring and cuddling, and him wetting himself too

He’ll argue that the bed was wet anyways! It doesn’t matter that he pissed himself too, because you were going to have to change the sheets anyways

He loves the feeling of your piss soaking and spreading along the sheets

He absolutely wants you to fuck him in the dirty sheets before you do anything else

After cumming he still wants to lay in the sheets for as long as possible lol

He’s sooo not subtle about trying to get you to drink water before bed on the nights following

Levi

SO turned on and SO freaked out

Because he woke up and first thought it was him wetting the bed, and then he couldn’t shake that anxiety 💀

He has no idea what to do except stare and very slowly start to touch himself

Please wake up, because he is too nervous to get you up by himself

You can very easily get him to admit how turned on he is, because he’s so relieved it wasnt him wetting the bed (at least, not yet >:))

He really likes if you praise him for being so cute getting turned on by something like this

He’s very subby, and wants to be touched immediately

Don’t tease him though, he’ll get whiny 

Satan

Very pleased and mildly taken off guard

He’s also big on staring

He’ll patiently wait until you’re done before waking you up

And then he can’t keep his hands off you

He’ll lament a bit about how he’s sad that you didn’t piss inside of him instead

But he’s obviously not that upset lol

I’m not sure if he’s super into getting fucked on the wet sheets or not

If not, he’ll want you to fuck him in the bathtub 

He wants you to fuck him until you fuck the piss out of him too!

Very sedated, touchy, and ready for more cuddling and sleeping afterwards

Asmo

He wakes up and has a single second where he’s furious that his beauty sleep has been disturbed

But then he immediately loves the sensation 

I feel like he’s someone who has silk (or at the very least, very soft fabric) pajamas, and he loves the feeling of your warm piss wetting them

He’ll wake you up by reaching out and dipping his fingers under your waistband so his fingers get soaked by your stream

He wants you up and getting him off ASAP!!!

He wants you to do as you please to him.. And dirty him more >:)

After he gets off though, he’s right the fuck back to sleep.

Beel

Ooo he loves the feeling and is immediately snuggling up to you, hoping that you get him wet too

He’ll start humping you subconsiously, so aroused and his brain so muddled with sleep that he barely registers what he’s doing. 

He’s not afraid to wake you up 

Will so easily beg for your touch

Oh but he wants to put his mouth on you so bad

Please let him suck you off and/or eat you out

Actually he can’t decide what he wants more (to touch or to be touched)

So you’ll have to guide him through it, you know best after all

Belphie

Whether he wakes up or not is debatable

If he does wake up, he subconsciously reaches out to touch you

Totally moans at the feeling of the warm, wet spot forming on the fabric of your sleep clothes

He’ll tug on your shirt until you wake up

You might need to be a bit dominant with him, but he’s already really subby and eager

He won’t hesitate to beg for you if that’s what you want

Just please touch him and give him your attention

In the morning he’ll deny everything except the fact that he loved you wetting the bed. He’s very open about that hehe

[aziraphales-library]

hi ! i just read a fic called "Instructions Unclear; Seeking Divine Intervention" and i was wondering if you knew of anything similar ? Its abt Crowley and Aziraphale raising the spare baby from the baby swap (who actually turns out to be the antichrist)

it doesnt even Have to be the antichrist tbh, just the two of them raising their own kid ! so not a nanny and warlock fic

also if you could find smthg ace friendly that would be perfect (this one wasnt :/) but i can def read around it if not

tysm for the blog its seriously the best <33

We have. SO MANY fics on our #kid fic tag. PLEASE check that. We’re going to have to take a break from answering any requests for kid fic to give authors a chance to write some more.

I’m also not sure on what you, specifically, mean by ‘ace friendly’ as the fic you’ve mentioned as not being ace friendly is T rated. Do you want no kissing? No mention of sex? QPR? Just friends? Ace is a wide spectrum, please be specific.

Here are some non-explicit kid fics, a couple of which were also tagged for asexual, but I believe do also include kissing, so IDK. Take ‘em or leave ‘em...

Cures and Remedies by Jackie Thomas (NR)

“Whatever is the matter?” Aziraphale asks and Crowley shrugs open the cloak to reveal a swaddled baby held in the crook of his arm. “Oh, good Heavens.”

Crowley saves a baby’s life. Who is this child and why is he in danger?

The Second Coming That Wasn't (Or Was It?) by polymona (T)

Aziraphale is surprised with a chat from God.

Crowley is confused as to why any human would just abandon their newborn in front of a bookshop of all places.

When the forces of Above or Below find out what has just been set in motion, there will be both Heaven and Hell to pay.

If God can be a woman, so can Jesus.

And the Antichrist Makes Three by AstroGirl (T)

Crowley didn't exactly intend to kidnap the Antichrist. It just sort of happened. And now they're stuck with him. Over the next eleven years, Aziraphale frets a lot, Crowley tries to play it cool, and Adam grows up incapable of being surprised by anything at all.

White Teeth, Black Leather / White Soul, Black Feathers by jriracha (T)

After the end of the world, Heaven and Hell decide to leave well enough alone. Truly alone. Crowley and Aziraphale are finally free to explore their relationship with no pressure. But at what cost?

Nephalem by Audrey_Lynne (T)

After the Armageddon that wasn't, Crowley and Aziraphale settle into their new, independent lives. They stay in touch with their human friends, but, mostly, are enjoying a quiet life in the countryside.

All that is about to change. Heaven and Hell have countless plans that operate on a need-to-know basis...and Aziraphale and Crowley didn't need to know. But now they will, as they find themselves in the sudden possession of the byproduct of one of those plans.

Or, "Crowley and Aziraphale end up with a baby and chaos ensues."

It takes heaven and hell to raise the Antichrist by dont_stop_imagine_mccartneys_celery (G)

If Good Omens was a Rom Com Sitcom!

In which Crowley stays just a little longer at the hospital of the Chattering Order of Saint Beryl and witnesses how the nuns misplace the Antichrist. He decides that he will take matters into his own hands and runs off again with the Antichrist, that is believed to be the exchanged baby of the American Cultural Attaché's wife. In lack of a better idea he brings the baby to his archenemy and dear friend Aziraphale and they agree they have no other choice than to raise the son of Satan themselves. That way they have the chance to let him grow up well-balanced between heaven and hell. Surprisingly, (for them, but really not the readers) the little extension of their family lets them only grow closer.

And the one you mentioned...

Instructions Unclear; Seeking Divine Intervention by Alycat44 (T)

“The spare,” the nun says, passing the basket Crowley brought back to him.

“The what.”

Crowley wouldn’t get his answer, and left holding a basket with an infant he is fully unequipped for dealing with, he does the only sensible thing he could think of; he calls a nominally-friendly acquaintance for some help.

- Mod D

[nogenderbee]

brothers+Diavolo, Barbatos reacting on MC with incredible cooking skills

gender: neutral

type: platonic, headcanons

characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos

requested by @webraciszekbastion (request is in Polish version)

Polska wersja

Lucifer:

· as tired demon after work which he is, he wanted to go to kitchen and make himself a coffe, completely forgetting that you told everyone not to interrupt you

· if you tell him to leave, he will just ask you to make him coffe and will leave without noticing anything, but if you let him do his coffe on his own then he'll definitely notice your talent

· after that happened, he searched through your files for some informations about school or chefs you learned from, but he didn't found anything like that...

· after some time observing you, he decided that you learned all this all by your own, which made him really impressed being honest

Mammon:

· so you're trying to tell him that you can cook and bake and you still didn't start your own business?!! Do you know how much money you can earn?!!!

· if it was annoying for you how he reacted on your ready dishes, then what I even have to say about his reaction on how you do those dishes

· you didn't let Mammon get close to kitchen when you were working there because you knew how it will end, but one day he sneaked trying to catch you on camera because he knew that this little tutorial will blow up on internet and will make his business going

· but oh no, he wasn't ready to see how you REALLY make your dishes... Are you sure you're a human?!!! It reminds him of witches rituals... Oh... Since that moment, he don't even get close to kitchen before making sure that you're not there...

Leviathan:

· wait if you cook so good then you definitely can do Ruri cookies, right? But if you really would make them, he can have a heart attack...

· if you will ever cook or bake anything with Ruri on it then you have sure that it'll be laying in his room not touched at all, it's Ruri after all!

· if you make your dishes to look nice then he will think if someone like him can destroy this beautiful work of yours

· if he will see any food in anime you will be the first person he'll ask for help with making it, at first he'll be very nervous but with some time it'll become natural for you two

Satan:

· he knew that youre interested in cooking and baking for some time now but he never really saw you in action and it wasnt his main goal

· he wanted to give you some new ideas so he buyed you a book with many recipes and wanted to give it to you but you weren't in your room so he looked for you over whole house of Lamentation and finally found you in the kitchen but how shocked he was...

· he couldn't see any mistakes in your moves, and he saw so many chefs and evey one of them did some mistakes

· despite all of it, he still gived you the book and acted like nothing happened but just know that you maked good impression on him, probably in next days he'll try to ask you secretly about this

Asmodeus:

· when he first saw you in the kitchen he was shocked that you can move so effectively and elegantly at the same time... you definitely gotta teach him this! But he gave up after knowing that he can break his nail...

· but despite that he still can watch you as you work and maybe help you with trying food right?

· if any from your dishes look pretty to him then he definitely will post them at his Devilgram and it's because of him you gained so many new followers on your Devilgram

Beelzebub:

· mmm something smells well... what could it be? Of course Beel go after smell to the kitchen where he funded you cooking like real chef

· he's definitely going to ask you for some advices about cooking

· and know that since Beel knows that you can cook that good, he will often ask you to cook something for him

· every time when you make something for him, it disappears in second but it's not because he thinks your dishes don't have a taste, your dishes are so good that he can't help himself but eat it in one go

Belphegor:

· everyone can wake up and get a glass of water, right? Well... maybe not Belphie because a certain human decided to bake a cake and now whole kitchen is taken

· but is it really hard for demon to get past normal human? Normally the answer would be no... but wherever he goed, you appeared there

· at first he already wanted to be mad at you but with some time he noticed that these are not normal human abilities... is he still dreaming? That must be it, it's impossible for human like you to move around the kitchen so fast

Diavolo:

· let's be honest, he saw maaaanyyy chefs but you? You're someone completely different! And you're trying to tell him that you didn't learned that in any school or from other professionals?! You really were excellent choice for his program

· when he first saw that you're faster than Barbatos in the kitchen, he instantly wanted to do merch between you to see if you can be faster than ALL Barbatos power

· now he have 2 favorite chefs, you and Barbatos and when you two work together, sweets are even more delicious, if it's even possible

Barbatos:

· wait... did normal human just beated his skills? Yes... that's exactly what happened

· don't even remind him how much he been tested about that random human is better than him before he even got to see your abilities on his own eyes

· so only when he had an occasion he suggested to help you in the kitchen or suggested that you might help him and at first he did everything in time he usually does it but after some time he kinda wanted to change into his demon form to help himself with his tails

· but Barbatos don't react with anger or sadness, instead he's more interested in you...

[blueiight]

The biggest WTF for me is when book fans are like well Louis is a liar in the books about why xyz didn't happen in the show and I'm like well if he's lying about everything then why am I watching this show?? are you gonna retell the entire first season with what really happened? cause I feel like the show is wasting my time then.

Any and all Lestat propaganda is lost on me. Anytime someones like well in the books he's not like this, I'm like I dont care that's not what he's like on the show so stfu.

Also I have no fucking clue what ppl are talking about with daniel + armand most of the time like I don't understand how the fuck s1 hints at anything other than an adversarial relationship at the moment.

im assuming ur the same anon as here..

and its like yeah its obvious some things didnt happen the way they did cuz its louis’s point of view & we will get another look at certain scenes but if the whole season is a total lie thats a waste of tv lol. granted the book iwtv narrative is more straightforwardly dark. theres no two interviews theres just one interview in the 70s (which was contemporary. iwtv published in 1976) .and the most that’s ‘contradicted’ in that imo is.. of course getting lestat’s point of view and all but also. ok. so you know how in the show lestat kills the tenor and clicks out on louis saying embrace what you are? in the book, lestat did the same thing but it was w/ these sex workers/prostitutes instead. in tvl lestat is like well actually these women were robbing the seamen so i wasnt the bad guy. this is actually why i think show lestat is nicer than book lestat! not rly cuz he did the same shit to lily. seriously tho book and show les were twins separated at birth and sent off to different universes imo. & in the book louis links w/ lestat whos bog body down bad holding a child and turning his back on him its irony its melodrama and we’re never sure if that scene actually happened. according to les well it didnt and louis was just a drama queen embellishing. thats what louis is, a drama queen embellishing things LOL. & the suspicion around armand is warranted like hes a powerful vampire with an adeptness in the mind gift, but he also loves lestat + his form of showing that is yandere crazy af aka torturing the people lestat cares about if not beating and tormenting lestat himself and its like..armand would do some shit like that hes crazy but itd be a bit boring if all of s1 was a big lie ?. let all the yaoi be problematic! i def think that theres some freaky shit going on between armandxlouis… the 1x07 reveal was like heyy danny ik i just checked out 5 seconds ago but i went from a bad bf to worse :3 the snake sheds his skin as ive dubbed it. i thought armand was rashid tvc until i seen the marius painting and the reveal had me sooo hype. the finale is the biggest divergence in the book besides the obvious changes (race, era, certain scenes etc etc) the fact that theres 2 interviews and that armand x louis are together in the modern day. in the book armand broke up with louis just before the interview, tried to mack on bog body struggle bus lestat and when all that failed he went to fuck w/ daniel. daniel was named in the third book finally and he was revealed to be w/ armand to have this crazy psychosexual bdsm worldwide cruising (well. armand watching danny fuck) blood airtagging romance rigmarole for a few yrs post interview cuz armand wanted someone to teach him what being human was like again and daniel wanted a demonic satanic zaddy. i am the devil’s minion (title chap drop!) armand’s put in a situation where he has to turn a dying 32 year old (book) daniel into a vampire. in the show clearly, daniel is old now but hes dying still. s1 doesnt show much so i can get why ur confused but in later seasons the nature of all their relationships between show armandxlouis , daniel & what happened and how theyll adapt the axd dynamic will be clearer to us all. i just think ppl r too committed to particular fan theories or takes rn. the ennui of being into an ongoing adaptation

[feartheoldblog]

ok here goes i guess. full disclaimer ghost is the only band i have a shirt of so uh yeah i think their music is ok. also your post reminded me they have a new ep i havent listened to yet so ive been playing that all day.

the chronology is kind of split up by album so ill go by that

Opus Eponymous (good fucking metal album):

So ghost started out as a concept band of over-the-top tongue-in-cheek anonymous satan worshippers. That has since changed for a couple reasons I'll get into. Anonymity was a big thing for the first few albums, every song was credited as written by a "nameless ghoul" and they all wore masks and the frontman wore corpse paint and i think some facial prosthetics so you couldnt tell who anyone was. Of course some people had guesses (and they turned out to be right lmao). The frontman was called Papa Emeritus and he wore like evil satan antipope clothes and shit. There's also this whole "Clergy" thing which is like the satanic church ghost represents - they're also a band in lore, and their goal is to gain converts by getting fans through the music.

Infestissumam (my favorite album):

Papa Emeritus 1 was an old man and one day he died. I think. Or he retired or something. So to release the new album, we got Papa Emeritus 2, who was Papa 1's younger brother (still like in his 40s or 50s or so). It was still obviously the same guy behind the makeup but who cares its lore baby. I think they actually summoned satan? There's a reading of the first two albums as concepts of a group doing evil magic devil summoning and then a world where the antichrist is actually walking around doing stuff. Anyway I don't remember Papa 2 doing much.

Meliora (their best album but not my favorite. ):

Papa 2 got taken out behind the shed or something i wasnt really into the lore at this point. Being into Ghost and being into the lore is two very different things, you really gotta be paying attention to be in on the lore. Papa Emeritus 3 debuts with this album, which also marks the band's beginning of their shift towards a more poppy sound (the is Ghost metal? debate has been waged for years by the worst metal fans in the world [on both sides] and all i have to say is if you need music to fall into a definition of your preferred genre in order to like it you don't like music, you like putting things in boxes and sounding smart). Papa 3 was the youngest brother, and he was big into the limelight and rockstar image in a way his more serious older brothers were not. This was also a height of their popularity anecdotally (i swear i heard square hammer on the radio once). Papa 3 was a slut, he was absolutely the one to fuck with socks on. Which is funny, cause I had never heard that bit about him fucking with socks on but I do know a guy in real life who fucked with socks on. Crazy.

Prequelle (came out right before covid lmao their weakest album though imo):

Papa 3 was abducted by goons right at the end of their big tour. oh no what happened? They started putting out "Message from the Clergy" videos on their youtube (might still be there) which introduced our boy Cardinal Copia (not a member of the family) who was a mousy little clergyman, and Papa 0 who was like the head of the church (and a few nuns i forget their names). Also in one of those videos all 3 former Papas were killed (they were alive? huh). Prequelle is also where the lawsuit happened which, uh, was a big fucking mess to put it lightly. Band members of the previous three albums were arguing with the frontman about pay (which was an issue cause like i said before, all the songs were credited to an anonymous ghoul), and like limb bizkit says its all about the he said she said bullshit. anyway they had to break the anonymity to go to court, so people learned that the frontman was actually Tobias Forge (formerly of Subvision). This was the prevailing theory by the way not the hugest surprise. I'm not going to get into details of the trial (cause i forget really) but im sure you can find it on the fuckin sweden legal database or whatever. Anyway, the band did kind of break up over this - some of the original longtime members left and Forge continued with the name Ghost and a rotating group of musicians.

Impera (impera is good but when i listened to it i was also having kind of a major depressive episode so that may have affected my opinion):

This is where I largely fell out of the Ghost lore loop. I hear Copia got promoted to Papa 4 which is good for him, nice kid. He's in like his 40s too i think.

They're kinda like the Four Kings cause a new one comes in when the old one dies and if you don't do enough damage there's actually 5 of them. and their music sucks

THE FOUR KINGS REF 😭😭😭

ghost WISH they could have a cultural impact as profound as dark souls 1’s four kings battle and boss theme

thank you for the proper run down i was fighting for my life trying to piece everything together from the shreds i could find (i refuse to watch a 40 minute youtube video sorry i’m stubborn). it literally reminded me of when i first played bb and was like ‘what the fuck happened’, went researching and ended up even more confused.

also you’re so real for your comment on forcing music into really specific categories. why can’t people just enjoy something without arguing over stupid shit like that………… rock? metal? nah, they’re just cringe. embrace it and be free.

question to leave bc i’m a souls bro

who would win in a fight: copia or patches dark soul?????

discuss

[dballzposting]

OMG ANOTHER SHARPHAN SHIPPER?! I therefore need to bring you the news that one time the Four Stars (bcs they're four and they're the most famous group in orange star high--gohan only by association brought upon his Nerd Swag) hang out during breaktime post-buu saga and sharpner wanted to prank the great saiyaman he knows to be gohan by pretending he needed to be saved *insert whatever scenario* but gohan inhumanely solved the issue too well that the prank didn't work and jokes on Sharpner bcs now Gohan have him on his arms wedding style and his choking at air at the execution of it all. AND THEN they make out in the lockers.

Source: my mind

Oh hello there.

Four Stars ... excellent pun there. Dont know if that's a you original but i really think that it's important

Woag. Omg. I never would have thought that Shrapner would roll over like that. Like maybe after the whole Great-Saiyaman-Stole-My-Girl thing I feel like he would stop associating with them all but like .. at the end of the day he still left his bong at Erasa's house and he still needs the notoriety of associating with Videl Satan and he still needs test answers from Son Gohan so .. yeah. GUESS THEY ALL STAY IN TOUCH FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR ?! What the fuck else is there to do.

Woah . Really? Woah. #SonGohan is really having a #SonGoten moment the way hes out here kissing frat boys ... ?! WHY AM I GETTING DEJA VU DID I HAVE A DREAM ABOUT SOMEBODY SENDING ME THIS ASK DID I HAVE A PREMONITION ? Feels like a year old deja vu moment. I swear Ive written that sentence before somehow even thouhg I would never do such a thing. Are you a witch

I never would have thought that they would kiss like that... like sure yeah he has a little homoerotic encounter with Shrapner in the locker room and maybe even kisses him a little .. just a little . .. Cant beleive

What sort of prank would that be ... "Nyeh heh heh I'm gonna pretend to be in need and then when he shows up he'll get STUCK in my conniving GLUE TRAP and PERISH like a RAT!" something like that

Kind of a win

Last night I for some reason was really convinced that it would be soo so so so so so so so so easy to craft a scene where gohan and shrapner kiss a little in the locker room. The idea of he and shrapner having a homoerotic moment in the locker room is a year-old concept to me that DOES NOT COME UP EVER becasue it’s not a part of the dballz cinematic universe for realsies (I think I mentioned it twice on this blog in that time and I just dont think of it ever & it's not important & it's a throwaway thing) and it was for my fanficiton Gohan & Videl Bisexual Adventure becasue I needed him to have something to talk about to kick off the story. So what I'm trying to say is that, like, this is old, but new to me, becasue last night I read my old fanfic again and for some reason it just got me thinking....

To me then it seemed that it would be so so so so easy and simple to craft such a scene , not just a homoerotic scene like previously delineated, but they kiss even, like it seemed to be so easy and so not a big deal. I would have written it if it wasnt almost 1 am. I dont know if this makes sense. I don't know what you want me to say

I think that Shrapner has potential to come back years later as a lonely antagonist type who just cant move on from when he peaked (popular jock, thought that he was gonna end up with Videl Satan), now hes lonely and sad and not a virtuous man tbh .. the sensuality of sucking and fucking at bathhouses can only fill the void for so long... at the back of his self-image he still wants to be king ...

Hey did you ever see this meme. I think that maybe you'd want to see it

[cardinaldante]

Greetings Siblings of the church! I have finally managed to sneak past Swiss and Papa Copia and finish the work that had been piling up lately. Swiss wasn't too happy- but he promised not to tell on me as long as I don't tell Papa he wasnt there this morning to make sure I stayed away from work. I decided to go out to the local village today and met up with the love of my life the local village priest, Jacob. He's a very nice guy my age and he likes hanging out with me, even though I come from the satanic church. I told him Swiss was my older brother who was tasked by Papa to keep an eye on me and he laughed and told me I worked to much!!

Can you believe it siblings! He said I worked too much! Ugh, I don't think I do. It's just that, this is a big responsibility for me taking over the duties for Papa Copia while he's Papa. It's an honor. I tried to explain that to him but he told me I should just relax. We walked around the local gardens and I accidentally had to leave Swiss behind when we went onto Church grounds, but Swiss wasn't too upset with me. Annoyed, yes, but not upset.

I told Jacob of my worries about Saltarian, and he said the same thing Primo did, but with an added bonus- that the Lord( Or rather, he saw me grimance at that and quickly changed it to Satan) will figure it out, and that everything will be okay. I hope so, but with things like this...

We had to split apart when the townspeople came out of their houses, and me and Swiss had to beat a very quick retreat back to the church when one of the townspeople started to throw rocks and nearly hit Swiss. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Jacob, which sucked. We ran into two ghouls while headed back. One of them was Sodo, which I mistakenly called him 'Dewdrop' and thought he was going to kill me before the other- Swiss called him Rain- stepped in. Rain calmed Sodo down, but I could see the imprints where Sodo had burned through the ground. Huh, I never knew this one was the fire ghoul. I had heard of one of the water ghouls transforming, so maybe...

Rain seemed very excited to talk to Swiss and so did Sodo, so I decided to head off back twords the church while Swiss was engrossed in talking. For some reason, it makes me feel... Odd. Sad, maybe? I don't know. I never had many friends growing up here- always the outcast- so I didn't really understand the whole.. feeling thing I was feeling at the moment. While headed back, I came upon an old greenhouse. Inside was decrepit, and the plants had gotten super overgrown. However, I found something. There was a small chest at the end of the greenhouse with the symbol of Omega on it. I tried to open it, but it was locked shut, and when I turned around, I was greeted with a ghoul I had never seen before at the entrance. They were tall, and wore a pre-imperia mask. They weren't Phil- Phil was a little on the shorter side- but they had their tail put in full display, the thing twitching behind them.

I didn't know what to do, and the ghoul just stared at me. I tried to speak, but the ghoul holds up a hand, and it spoke. Actually spoke. It told me to- and the exact words were,

"Get the fuck out of my greenhouse. You don't know what box you're trying to open, Pandora." Needless to say, I fled instantly the moment the ghoul stepped out of my way. Now, safe in my office, waiting for Swiss to find me so I can go to dinner(where Papa Copia will be, not eating, but interacting with the other siblings, most of you will probably see him at dinner time), I wonder what the ghoul ment. Who was that ghoul, anyways? And why couldnt I open the odd Omega box? My only options are to ask Omega, since the box did have his symbol on it, or ask Phil.

.

.

.

I think the safer option is Phil. My stomach is starting to rumble, and I'm debating on wheather I want another scolding by Papa Copia, or if I want to wait for Swiss. However, I am starving, so my hunger has definitely won out over waiting for Swiss. Pray to Satan for me, dear siblings. Papa Copia is definitely going to give me a scolding of a lifetime.