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#i might be just over thinking it and it was just design preference
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Okay I made a little post about this but it’s jawing at my brain
A deep dive into Ginny Weasley’s music taste
(Not specifically 90s timeline)
SPICE GIRLS
Okay so even though it might be cringy now she was definitely so obsessed with the spice girls. With their whole girl power agenda she definitely was really into it, and they have great party music. Hermione being one of her closest friends and muggle born showed her the spice girls over one summer and gave her tons of magazines on them. Tonks offered to take her to see them but Molly said absolutely not. Favorite song Wanna be obviously, it’s her designated getting ready song.
THE SMITHS/RADIOHEAD/NIRVANA/WEAZER
Okay so, Ginny dated Dean for almost a whole year being with someone you naturally gain interest in their interest. Dean being a muggle born introduced Ginny to all sorts of muggle bands The Smiths and Radiohead having a lot of sad songs I think she found very healing with all her trauma from the chamber. Nirvana is like the OG teenage dirt bag band so yes she loves them. Nirvana reminds her a lot of Sirius so she got Harry into listening to them. Weazer came from Seamus actually, when she was getting used to being around Deans friend group music came up and Seamus lent her one of his mixtapes. Her favorite song is Back to the old house because it makes her miss time before Tom and before the war.
DAVID BOWIE
So Bowie. I think Bowie would come from Bill and Arthur. Bill was born in the early 70s so it come from his childhood. We all know Arthur loves muggle things so I think music would be incorporated in that. Bowie has a perfect blend of sad and feel good music, we know she was close with Tonks but Remus helped her through second year too and Bowie was one thing they bonded over and what made Ginny trust Remus after Tom. Her favorite song is Changes because it feels like growing up.
EMINEM/D-12
Completely George and Charlie influence. She loved D-12 first obviously but she prefers Eminem. She knows every word. To every song. Harry loves when she gets wasted at parties and just stands on the table and belts out the lyrics. She’s totally a Doctor Dre fan too. The Slim shady album is her favorite it dropped in 1999 when she was freshly 17. Charlie took her to see him when she was 19 she went all out saggy jeans, heavy smudged eyeliner, bandana. When family dinners where to serious at the Burrow after the war. Her and George would start singing the dirtiest songs to get Molly’s attention on them. Favorite song in his discography is Under the Influence.
DO DOUBT/GWEN STEFANI, BIKINI KILL
Girl power rock bands I don’t have a ton to say about them. She loves No Doubt but proffers Gwen’s solo stuff. Obviously knows them from Tonks. She gave Ginny her Tragic Kingdom vinyl which released in 1995 perfect timing for her 4th year at hogwarts when she’s angry about being left out of order business. Her favorite Gwen song is Rich Girl.
ARVIL LAVIGNE
Okay so Arvil really started getting big in 2002 when her album Let Go came out. She wasn’t super big into her with that album but followed along still. Her teammates on the Harpy’s loved her and played her music in the locker rooms. She picked up again with her when Girlfriend came out but her favorite song is Here’s to never growing up.
(Later music)
TAYLOR SWIFT
I never liked that people think Ginny isn’t girlie because she grew up with 7 brothers. Yes, she is a total tomboy but she never saw being a girl as making her weak. It was just a challenge with her brothers but it just gave her more reasons to get to prove herself. If she had Taylor in her teens her favorite album would be Red or Evermore. Cowboy like me is a perfect song to describe her and Harry. “The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up” perfect example of their relationships with Voldemort. They definitely avoided that they had that in common for a while but after they accepted it they where able to heal through each other. I think the song I hate it here from TTPD would be one Ginny could relate too because honestly when she was completely alone her therapy was Tom and the diary. It was where she would escape too. I think her hearing that song as an adult would have an even deeper meaning because it’s so sad and describes how lonley-ness feels beautifully.
- If you want my other opinions and more bands I think she would like feel free to ask I have so many others artist and songs
This kinda turned in to me relating Ginny to my favorite music but oh well 🤷‍♀️
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notpercieved · 16 days
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I just realized Arlecchino doesnt even use polearm arm at all, she was more adept at using the sword😭 the one that uses polearm is CLERVIE
And the fact that the current arlecchino uses polearm makes me uUHEUGH-/pos
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sweet-as-an-angel · 4 months
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Giant! König Headcanons
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Warnings: 18+, Creep! König, Perverted! König, König Owns a Cum Jar, Size Difference, Giant! König, Size Kink, Sadistic! König, Abuse of Power, Dub-Con, Cum Soaking, Attempts at Forced Impregnation, Implied Pregnancy, Voyeurism, Hostage Situation, Human Pet! Reader, Physical Violence, Human! Reader, Fem! Reader.
Giant! König captures you after he catches you sneaking around his castle, trying to loot something of value to take back to your impoverished village.
Giant! König immediately jumps at the opportunity to take you as his human pet, throwing you into a nearby jar and closing the lid, observing you like a spider beneath a glass.
Giant! König who, after deciding he wants to keep you long-term instead of turning your body into the sprinkles atop his ice cream, creates a more sustainable living space for you after discovering you’re not as durable as he thought (almost suffocating, dehydrating, and starving to death whilst being held in that damn jar).
Giant! König surprises you with a dollhouse of his own design: a door that locks from the outside, windows too small for you to crawl through, and walls made of a material too strong for your tiny utensils to burrow through.
Giant! König doesn’t take long to start using you for his own pleasure – almost like he has no other outlet; like he was just waiting for this opportunity to come.
Giant! König who, whenever he feels like punishing you, puts you in The Jar and stares you down whilst stroking his cock, gigantic even in comparison to other giants’. He grunts, berating you, telling you how he’d “Fill you with my cock if you weren’t so small – bet I could crush you with it if I wanted to.”
When he’s ready, he cums into the jar – all over you – thick and heavy, almost drowning you with just one spurt of his load.
He loves watching you struggle to keep your head above the viscous pool he’s trapped you in as you literally swim in his semen, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to “Get me out, please!”.
He’ll often leave you in there without clothes to try and teach you a lesson. Until it turns into another reason – to breed you – which you accidentally sparked in him when you told him to be careful! You’ll end up getting me pregnant!
Giant! König can’t get your words out of his head, the primal urges he’s suppressed for so long unearthed by your pleas for him to spare you, if only once.
Giant! König knows he’s way too big to fit inside you, so this –  cumming profusely into a jar he’s encased you in whilst giving you no means of refusing his attempts – is the next best thing.
Giant! König gets off on the sheer size difference between the two of you  – the fact that you’re entirely dependent on him for your survival. Makes him feel like the kind of giant he’s supposed to be; strong and well-seeded.
Giant! König lays awake at night and fantasises about having a family, a far-off dream until you came along. It’s all he can think about as the image of you, his tiny wife, swollen to an almost painful degree as you bear his children, floods his mind, makes his cock twitch – harden. He resists the urge to relieve himself of this burden, preferring to save every ounce of his seed for you rather than wasting even a drop of it.
Giant! König who, despite his…questionable treatment of you, does try to treat you well. He lets you eat as much as you want, both because he knows you come from a poor background and because he has to keep you healthy to bear his offspring — especially since he knows they’ll be quite big compared to you.
Giant! König enjoys questioning you about your life before him, how humans work, what they do all day, whether the stereotypes of them all being lustful, pride-driven,  creatures are true.
If you validate any part of this stereotype, he’ll use that as an excuse to sink you in even more of his cum, to subject you to the task of sitting on his cock (horizontally, might I add) while he commands you to get yourself off by humping the shaft.
Man’s had no outlet for basicall all his life – he’s feral.
Giant! König loves to watch you while you’re tucked up in your dollhouse, observing everything you do. Humans are a rarity in the Giant Lands, so to have one in his home is a mythic occurrence.
Giant! König loves showing you off; he thrives on the reaction he gets when his friends see you. You’re, as stated before, a rarity in their parts, often used as a delicacy rather than a pet since humans aren’t particularly sturdy compared to giants, so managing to keep one alive is something of a status symbol in itself; the mark of a truly capable mate (hence captive humans are often given as courting gifts between giants).
However, König is also highly protective of you – especially after he caught Horangi (another giant he’d been showing you off to) goading you – harassing you – stroking his cock, telling you to “Lick the tip. Never felt a human tongue before.”
Needless to say, König never invited him around again after that.
Giant! König is, obviously, good with his hands and technical know-how. Thus, if his method of soaking you in his semen doesn’t work when trying to knock you up, he’ll create some unlawful contraption to make it inevitable.
Despite his size, König has managed to make a tiny glass syringe that he’s packed with his cum, holding you down easily with one hand as he presses the tip to your entrance, pumping you full of his seed.
He struggles to contain how the scene – the feeling – of you trying desperately to fight him off, to stop him from filling you, makes him feel. You have to watch the bulge between his legs grow as the feeling of being filled past full overcome you.
Giant! König does this as many times as he likes until he knows his seed’s taken, when you start showing. Which, considering how big his offspring will be, is pretty early on.
He definitely makes maternity clothes for you – comfortable garments that show the swell of your stomach as the weeks crawl by into months.
Giant! König loves bathing you, too. Especially after he’s covered you in his cum.
There’s something so intimate and gentle about it – a scarcity in the Giant Lands. Having something so small and fragile in his hands, knowing that he can crush you in his grip at any moment, makes him feel…responsible. Trustworthy.
Giant! König will never let you go, btw. You can try to run as much as you want, but he’ll always catch up to you, his human pet.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
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houseofceline · 6 months
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My Pretty Girl - T.N.
Starry Eyes
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Pairing: Ravenclaw and sort of ditzy but talented Reader x Slytherin notorious playboy Theodore Nott
Warnings: None (yet ;))
“Starry eyes
What can I do for your attention.”
Summary: Theodore’s late to class but Snape blessed him with the opportunity of sitting next to a cute Ravenclaw who’s no help at all.
1 >
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Clockwise or counterclockwise? 
You honestly didn’t even know anymore. No matter how many hours you spent on reading the thick potions textbook or wasting bottles after bottles of ink on notes you still barely passed the class. 
You were starting to get a headache from trying to picture the text in your head. Everything was starting to become foggy. You sat down, defeated, and began doodling on the parchment instead of writing detailed instructions on how to make the stupid potion. So much for a Ravenclaw. 
Hmm off shoulder or puffed sleeves?
 You bit your lip trying to decide which option would look better on the dress you sketched out. The classroom was calming with little chattering among your classmates in the back allowing you to work easier. You could never work or do anything in silence, it drove you crazy. 
Suddenly the door slammed open causing you to jump a bit in your seat. 
“Nice of you to join us Mr. Nott, although your presence was expected half an hour ago,” Snape drawled out in his infamous monotone voice. 
“Sorry I overslept,” he shrugged while adjusting his tie. Some students who were listening in laughed. With his messed up tie and ‘burn marks’ on his neck, it was clear that he was definitely doing more than just sleeping. 
Snape nodded and pointed at the empty seat next to you, not surprising anyone that he didn’t take away any house points from his house. 
Theodore eyed you as he walked towards your table. He would’ve preferred sitting with his house, but he could never pass up the chance to sit next to a pretty girl. White blouse with a lace neckline and sleeves, black plaid skirt, Ravenclaw tie, black sleek hair, and a white headband. You didn’t fit into the usual type of girls he went for, but you were cute. 
Theodore took the seat next to you before tapping on your shoulder. 
You turned to him and almost jumped when you found his eyes on you. Gorgeous blueish grayish eyes. 
So pretty, this might be my new favorite color. 
“So uh,” Theo cleared his throat ignoring the fact that he swore he just saw your eyes sparkle, “what are we doing?” 
You blinked. Under the pressure of a somewhat attractive boy it made your memory much worse. 
“Umm, we’re brewing a potion and writing?” 
You had hoped that didn’t come out as a question and hoped that he’d just nod and ask someone else. 
Theodore raised an eyebrow and glanced at your blue tie again. 
“Which potion exactly?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at you as if you were lying to him. 
“Antidote to potions. Wait, no poisons. The common one. Wait, maybe the uncommon ones. Well I don’t think there’s a big difference. I mean, shouldn’t the uncommon ones be stronger and still fix the common ones?” You rambled on, looking off to the side lost in your own thoughts. 
Theodore blinked. The sorting hat rarely makes errors, maybe you were high but then again Lovegood’s also a Ravenclaw. The looney population in Ravenclaw must be high. 
“Why can’t they just make a super strong potion that fixes every poison? That’d make our jobs easier and we wouldn’t have to memorize so many potions,” you giggled as you turned back to your sketches. 
Theodore looked over your shoulder to try and catch a glimpse of your paper but instead your sketches caught his eye. You may be no help in potions, but you sure can draw. 
“Are you going to make that?” He asked while you squirmed at the close proximity of his face to yours. 
“Yes,” you mumbled shyly, scared of the criticism that might follow. You loved designing and fashion. It was one of the only things that came naturally to you, but coming from a family of doctors you were vulnerable to criticism for not following in their path. 
“Cute,” he said before his eyes found your potions paper. 
Common poisons. Theodore noticed that you only had half the page completed and chuckled. 
He got up towards the ingredients cabinet and grabbed his ingredients and the ones you were missing. 
Potions came easy to him. Not only did the teacher bias his house, but his mother was a skilled potions maker as well. Matter of fact her entire side of the family were. He had spent most of his summers in his manor reading journals of potion experiments and advanced information that weren’t even in his school textbooks. 
He quickly prepared his ingredients and started on his potion while continuing yours on the side. Luckily you were both in the back and Snape couldn’t catch him. He wrote down his notes and instructions making a mental note to tell you to copy them down later. You’d need it. 
Maybe he was also placed in the wrong house. Today, Hufflepuff seemed more fitting. You were lucky that you’re cute. 
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kingthunder · 1 month
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I saw a few of those "bg3 characters driving a car" headcanons and decided to do one myself for fun.
Lae'zel: She learned how to drive on the opposite side of the road from everyone else and her instincts are all wrong for her current location, but back home she's an excellent driver with a spotless driving record. She actually follows the service schedule in the car manual. She gets incensed at people who don't maintain their vehicle properly or who disobey road rules. Her car is immaculately clean. She would love to speed a motorcycle down one of those desert highways with no speed limit, but she's never gotten the opportunity and knows it's too reckless besides. But she wants to.
Karlach: She's had a motorcycle for ages and is a skilled if aggressive driver. However, she only recently learned how to drive a car. She is very enthusiastic about it and always volunteers to drive even though she's not very good yet. She's one of those people that do driving "pranks" like swerving back and forth to make people shriek/laugh, or doing "3, 2, 1 BLASTOFF" and gunning it. Could easily be provoked into an impromptu street race. Drives way too far on empty or with the check engine light on.
Shadowheart: Drives stick so that no one else can drive her car. It's a beat up old station wagon with a busted tail light and looks like shit on the outside, but inside she turned it into a goth mobile with like black velvet seat covers and stuff. She named the car but she won't tell you what. She has an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror that smells like night orchids. She's a perfectly good boring driver with nothing to note about it UNTIL one day a cop tries to pull her over for her busted tail light and she hits the gas and pulls out all these street racing moves that you had no idea she was capable of and shakes the cop. She'll let you pick the music but if she doesn't like it her silent disapproval is so withering that you voluntarily change it to something she does like.
Astarion: Never got a driver's license and isn't about to get one now. Passenger princess who likes to control the radio but his taste in music sucks. He makes funny mean comments about other drivers and pedestrians. He'll complain if you ask him to fill the gas tank but he'll do it; you're paying for it, though. Actually pretty fun to go on a road trip with because he doesn't care about stuff like "making good time" and he's up for stopping anywhere that looks like it might be entertaining.
Gale: Never got a driver's license because he was always too busy with his studies to care and his mom drove him around and/or did all his errands for him anyway. He's real good at maps though and likes to be helpful by being the navigator. He's the smartest man in the world but he's completely stymied by a gas pump; you're better off pumping the gas yourself and sending him into the gas station for snacks. He always manages to conjure a full meal out of convenience food, somehow, and he's really good at feeding you while you drive.
Wyll: He saved up and bought his own fixer-upper car after getting kicked out of the house as a teenager. Good driver in general. People always think he would make a good designated driver, but actually he likes drinking socially and will politely decline requests to be the DD unless there's no one else available. Sometimes when he's having a bad day he blasts music really loud and finds a deserted area to just fuckin tear ass down as fast as he can go (he'll only do this alone and doesn't tell anyone about it). Never lets you pay for gas even if you offer. Will pick up hitchhikers.
Halsin: Has been driving the same car since 1973. Drives that specific car really well. If you gave him a modern car he would have no idea what anything on the dashboard does. Honestly, he prefers to walk or bike anyway.
Jaheira: Has a fuck-off huge SUV full of empty cans and wrappers from her kids. Absolute maniac of a driver who tailgates and speeds with no regard for road signs or lane markings. She is going to GET where she is GOING and gods help you if you get in the way.
Minsc: Failed the driving test three times and just gets rides from Jaheira. This does not bother him in the slightest. He tells you that Boo can drive vehicles you've never even heard of.
Minthara: Has run someone over on purpose.
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yonch · 3 months
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it's been 15 years and you can see better than ever
(design notes under the cut) (there are spoilers)
ok this got really long. here you go
sif:
ditched the cloak. it was collecting dust in their closet until recently, but they realized they don't need to cling to their grief so much anymore. someone else will need it more soon.
ditched the eyepatch. the prosthetic eye is a labor of love designed by isa, as is literally everything else they're wearing.
they cut their bangs finally and started braiding their hair back so it wouldn't obscure their vision as much anymore.
they like darker/tighter clothing and prefer function over form but unfortunately their gay ass boyfriend keeps treating them like a dress up doll so they're stuck wearing waistcoats and a fancy cloak. (they don't mind. it's designed to look like loop.) they keep flowers in their many pockets to give to people.
they're a woodworker in their free time. they don't usually talk about being any sort of savior so he just becomes sif the guy who's really good at carving birthday presents for people and also tags along with isa to charity parties and fundraisers
41 year old 5'1" they/he absolutely zero intention of Changing. bonded to isabeau. they adopted a kid who leo or i might post about some other time i think. her name is estelle.
isa: i'm not taking credit for the design that's by my friend @fembard /@leoweooo. i'll include his design notes
isa dresses mostly for comfort, he doesn't like wearing stuff that might get stained or ruined when he's dyeing clothes or chasing stelle around in the mud or something, all his fashion sense goes into his handiwork
he Changed a few more times over the 15yrs, eventually settled. picked up she/her pronouns again on the side but was never really able to ditch the name isabeau and he kinda ran out of names anyways...
kept the long hair, kept a few inches in height, very happy to fulfill the role of male (space) wife
can't ditch the kimono jacket it's the piece de resistance. odile influence and Wisening Of Age means its made with a little more knowledge of ka buan technique but still very clearly an Isa Design. the fabric is imported silk sif!!!!!!
39 year old Tall with a capital T he/she "i swear i'm not a weeaboo i'm just really into ka buan fashion" vaugardian indie clothing designer in your area help support this man in his attempts to use his family members as living advertisements for his brand
mira: with design input from @jastertown thank you my friend
i took a lot of inspiration for the sparkly, sheer fabric on her dress from euphrasie. she's not head housemaiden yet because she doesn't feel like she's ready but everybody knows it'll be her
speaking of inspiration. she's been taking a lot of fashion cues from a certain lady in dormont that she thought was kind of scary, but it turns out she's very nice? they're besties now.
she got rid of the earrings for a little bit but then she realized she just liked how they look on her. so now they go ding ding! it's for her and nobody else, and that's how she likes it.
moved her ornaments to her skirt because they ding ding more often there. her necklace also jingles with merriment.
38 year old she/her advanced cisgender+ legend who's realizing that people are trying to get her to be the pope but all she really wants to do is write yaoibait fiction that looks like it came straight off of ao3
odile:
my glorious hag. she started shrinking about 3 years ago. all those years of bending over books has finally caught up to her. her hips are fuuuuuucked. but she has a sick cane that sif carved for her so everything's okay
she was already pretty comfortable and settled in her sense of style when she was nearing 50 so i don't think she would change much. darker clothing maybe. ditched the high-waisted pants for some looser slacks.
she's started writing a familytale of her own. the only person she's told about it is bonbon, who caught her up way past their bedtime, and scribbled all over one of the pages. she'll pass it on to sif when the time's right, after she's written down everything she can remember about their family.
64 year old she/her wasian researcher recovering from hernia surgery who's getting really into things like "political activism" and "body craft law reformation in ka bue" and "making sure people aren't sourcing their hrt from back alleys"
bonnie:
prefers to go by boniface these days. it's cooler. more mature. please stop calling me bonbon that's a nickname from when i was 10 guys c'mon guys ugh fine frin you can still call me bonbon but not around my girlfriends ok (nobody calls them boniface except for odile)
speaking of which they have 3 butch lesbian girlfriends. this got established as a joke but i think they have it in them. they're still young!!!!!!! they should be at the club!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they traveled for a while with everybody but eventually settled down back in bambouche to start a little family owned restaurant with nille featuring dishes from all over the globe. people travel from all over to get a taste of boniface's good eats... bambouche is bustling. (they have a few recipes that are sourced from the country. they meet people every once in a while who find something achingly familiar about it, and they usually direct those people to jouvente to get in contact with frin.)
26 year old they/them "i dont know how tall i am but i'm taller than za" chef cooker whose restaurant keeps lighting on fire because this time i swear nille i can figure out how to do cooking craft i swear i wont explode the kitchen this time please i promise
loop:
ok. this is where lozy gets to just talk about what he thinks happens post game. i think they stick around for way longer than they really should and follow the crew around on their travels (mostly invisibly) because they're sooo fucking scared of change they're sooo scared and they're so scared of their wish fucking up beyond belief. they're kind of incapable of aging or dying in this body and theyre like permanently 26 which is what spurs them to finally move on.
i think they go back to their timeline eventually after making a Brand New Wish to "go back to their real family." alas the universe leads and we can only follow. and it turns out loop has actually made a real family in stardust's world also. this is my justification for why they can pop in between sasasap and isat worlds without much repercussion. i think they're always permanently loop shaped in isat but i imagine they can probably go back to their original body in their home timeline... might design that later. who knows. i'm fucked like that
i just think they deserve a chance for their own happy ending you know. isat's a game about how it's never too late to communicate and how you shouldn't punish yourself forever and ever. and i think theyve punished themself enough you know.
ok tank you for reading if you read this far. it's really big and long so i would understand if you didn't. but i hope you liked it. thoughts appreciated. here's a little something for the people who read all the way through.
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dinogoofy · 9 months
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I KNOW YOU SAW THE NEW BANISHED TRAILER!!!
i’m on a reptile / syzoth craze and if your requests are still open, may i receive your best nsfw / sfw headcanons of our newly-designed babygurl?
thank you!!
GOD I FREAKIN LOVE THAT TRAILERRR
These might not be the most perfect headcanons but here ya go!!
Syzoth (Reptile) X reader Headcanons!
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SFW
Dude is a cuddle monster. Oh, you're chilling on the couch? No you're not. He's using you as a heater. He'll stretch out on top of you and leave you trapped. Lord help you if the two of you are outside in the sun! Dudes gonna fall asleep for hours
He loves your hair. It's just fairly unknown territory for him, and it's so soft and warm and honestly fluffy compared to what he's used too?? He buries his face into your hair, strokes through it, plays with it, any chance he gets! (this one is partly inspired by a Tegu I met and got to hold! She was absolutely precious. Like holding a scaley puppy. She immensely got cozy with her face in my hair and it was adorable.)
He's a little insecure about both his homan and reptile forms, but just reassure him that you love him no matter what form he takes and you'll have a happy lizard.
Will eat weird things sometimes. I don't know why. He just has that vibe. Think of those giant isopods people eat.
NSFW
He's a switch. 100%. If you praise him and shower him with affection and kisses, he will absolutely melt, but if you're rather on the shy side or he's in the mood he will take over and be a little more dominant.
ADORES intimacy. He wants to be pressed against AND inside you at all times. Loves to give you lots of kisses while inside of you, and of course you indulge him. I mean, look at his face? Dude needs to be showered in kisses at all times.
Prefers to cum inside of you, again, it's mostly a warmth thing. You are just so squishy and warm and wet that he begs to come inside of you. And I mean BEGS.
Once the two of you are spent, he probably falls asleep first.
If caught in the act he might just *dissappear* on instinct. It's such a goofy scenario but he just *poofs* and your left in awkward eyecontact with whoever interrupted, probably still able to feel him inside of you as well.
..... would probably be dtf in his natural form.
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Little Paintings
Mihawk x gn!reader
Summary: surely the extremely observant and powerful warlord of the sea won’t notice your little paintings all over his castle…
Content: pure fluff, with just a hint of romance. reader is written as autistic.
A/N: I recently watched a TikTok where somebody was painting cute little designs all around their house until their spouse noticed. It made me think of this idea. Like all my stories, Mihawk is based on a mix of his live action personality and the little bit I know from watching some of the anime and reading the manga quite literally years ago. Enjoy!
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You like painting. Always have, always will.
However, you’re not sure if the fearsome Dracule Mihawk will appreciate it so much as you, not when you’re painting inside his crystal ware cabinet. Especially not when you didn’t bother to get his permission. 
Not that you’ll stop.
If anything, it makes you determined to work quicker, nudging more of the delicate wine glasses aside to you can lean in and finish the adding paint strokes to the fine wood, creating a minuscule image of a little bottle in the back corner of the cabinet.
Is it silly for a fully grown adult to be doing this? Perhaps. Yet you can’t help but smile as you add the final touch to the tiny little label on the bottle, a small swirl of purple paint to match the label of the wine he shared with you yesterday.  
Perfect.
When you extract yourself and carefully push the wine glasses back in place, the painting is completely hidden. You have just enough time to hustle back through the chilly castle halls and tuck your paints in your room before he returns inside from his sword practice.
He gives you quite the long look when you settle in the kitchen later that day, those piercing yellow eyes seeming to cut through your surface and see so deep. And though you feel your breath catch—as it often does around this formidable man—you force yourself to smile innocently.
“Yes?” you ask.
“I will be sailing out for supplies this afternoon,” he says after a long moment.
You nod and draw your knees to your chin. “Do you need me along?”
“No need for that.”
You sigh with relief, watching as he turns back to his cooking. You don’t dislike people, but you do prefer your solitude. You always have, ever since you were a child. It’s why you feel content to stay here now.
That, and how utterly delightful it is to watch him cook.
He’s terribly handsome when cooking, though you’re fairly sure the man would look handsome doing anything. His knife seem to blur as he cuts up the vegetables, then begins to prep the meat. When he reaches for the pans, his cross necklace shifting against his finely cut chest, your heart skips a beat.
Yet he simply grabs a pan and gets to work, seeming to not notice the tiny cross shaped sword painted just behind where the pots hang.
Really, it’s foolish of you to do this. Yes, art has always been a passion for you, but you are a guest here. A guest he has allowed to stay for some months, and a guest who has shared just enough casual, accidental touches that you hope it might become something more, but still a guest.
Still, you’re curious. Just how much can you paint before the great swordsman notices?
You’ve been at it for a week now, ever since you found the dusty little bottles of paint tucked away in a forgotten storeroom. You use every moment he’s out to sneak little paintings around the castle, none bigger than your thumb.
There’s the little map against the doorframe of your room, like the treasure map you were following before you stumbled on this island.
Then there’s the small ape painted onto one table leg in the dining hall, a far less fearsome version of the beasts that chased away your captain and crew when you all landed here. You recall how frustrated you were that they left you behind, a frustration that has long since faded now that you can count on the safety of Dracule Mihawk’s castle.
He walks past you now, a hand brushing briefly against your arm before he continues on to grab the spices across the kitchen.
Not an accident, surely. Nothing this man does is accidental.
That makes you think of the minuscule wanted poster you painted in the corner of your doorframe yesterday, in honor of the fear you first felt when you realized just who inhabited this place. Funny how frightened you were that first day. And the second day.
…and the third.
By the forth, however, you had figured out he likely wasn’t going to kill you.
By the fifth you’d determined that so long as you didn’t irritate him, he didn’t seem inclined to make you leave either. In fact, as days went on, you became fairly certain he didn’t mind your company.
Which is why you now play this foolish game of sneakily painting designs all around his castle.
You always considered yourself clever. Yet apparently all it takes are a few “accidental” touches and heavy looks for you to throw all your caution to the wind. Teasing a warlord, vandalizing his castle… such a perfect plan for long term survival.
Still, you do truly enjoy painting.
Your favorite are the flowers you painted along a small crack in the stones of the great hall, colored with a yellow that makes you think of his stunning eyes, the eyes that have over the last few months shifted from disinterest and disdain to… something else.
Something that makes you hope perhaps you won’t always be just a guest.
You’re not brave enough to make any moves yourself—never really have been when it comes to matters of the heart—but that won’t stop you from seeing just where these lingering glances and soft touches might eventually go.
Those same eyes stare at you again now as you make your way to the dining hall and pick at your food, separating the small bits of tomato from the rest of your meal. You bite back a smile as his gaze cuts down to your plate and he takes note of the rejected vegetable. Knowing him, he won’t use it in your meals again.
You honestly don’t know how a man so observant has not noticed your paintings yet.
“Do you need anything from the village?” Mihawk asks, startling you from your thoughts.
“I’m alright, I think,” you say. Given the nearest village is several islands away, you take a moment to think about it truly, but everything you need has been provided for you already. If anything, you’re far more comfortable here than you ever were with the crew you sailed alongside, a crew that only cared about you for your rough mapmaking skills—your least favorite thing to paint if you’re being honest—and were quick to abandon you when the first hint of danger appeared. 
He nods and turns to his own plate. You try not to stare at the wall behind him, where you‘ve recently painted a tiny little figure sitting in a tiny little chair wearing a tiny black wide brimmed hat, hidden just at the base of the dining hall floorboards.
Trying not to giggle about it keeps you distracted through most of lunch.
“I’ll be off then,” Mihawk says as you both finish your meals, rising from the table.
“Be safe.”
Ah yes, because you need to tell the strongest swordsman in the world to be safe. You mentally kick yourself, but feel better when he offers you one of his rare almost smiles, even as he pauses by your chair.
“Don’t worry yourself,” he says, that confidence that you’ve come to admire woven through every inch of his words. “I highly doubt there will be anyone to challenge me. Truly a shame. Oh, as a note…”
“Yes?”
Your breathe hitches as he reaches out, gently taking your hand and lifting it towards him. You’re hyper aware of how strong his grip is. So powerful, yet intentionally gentle. Of how piercing his gaze is, those eyes that are so hard to meet, even as they set your heart racing. He lifts your hand to his lips and presses a slow, deliberate kiss against it.
Oh.
When he lowers your hand, he’s… smiling. Not just that almost smirk, but a real smile. Your heart lurches again at the sight. When he speaks, it takes you a long moment to process his words around the pounding of your heart.
“The entry hall could use a few more flowers, perhaps, if you must paint all over the walls.”
Then he’s off, leaving you stunned where you sit. Your draw your hand close to yourself, staring at the skin he kissed.
You hadn’t noticed it until now, but on the back of your hand is just the slightest smudge of dried purple paint from earlier.
As you run a finger along the paint, you find yourself hesitating. Then before you know it, you’ve risen from your chair and are hurrying to follow, to catch Mihawk before he leaves the castle.
Perhaps you need some supplies after all.
More paints. New brushes. A proper tray for mixing your colors… and maybe even a true kiss from the warlord you’ve fallen for.
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sprout-fics · 9 months
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Poly TF141 x Omega! Reader Headcanons
(Poly TF14 x F! Omega Reader)
(Part Nine: The Proposition)
Tags: Omegaverse, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Hidden designations, Alpha! John Price, Alpha! Simon 'Ghost' Riley, Beta! Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick, Omega! John 'Soap' MacTavish, Omega F! Reader, Group dynamics, Poly TF141, Slow burn, Courting rituals, Heat cycles
Masterlist
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“I want you to help me with my next heat.”
Soap’s spoon drops into his oatmeal, sending splatter across the table
You ignore him, focus on Price and Ghost on the other side of the table you’re all gathered around during communal breakfast, having waited to speak until everyone has had some semblance of food and coffee
Price’s hand clasps the handle of his mug in a white-knuckle grip, a rare look of shock passing over his face. Likewise, Ghost seems taken aback, gaze wide enough under his mask you can see the whites of his eyes
The silence is deafening.
You wonder, for a moment, if you misspoke
Courting was one thing, but to ask for something so intimate was…a significant step in your relationship with the rest of the team. Perhaps one too far
“I…I think I can tell roughly when the next one will be.” You elaborate. “I’m still in my mandatory detox period, but my cycle should be stabilizing…so…” You fidget with your hands in your lap, eyes looking down
“Are you sure about this?” Is the first question Price asks, and you nod, certain of your decision. There’s no other alphas in the world you’d trust more to help you, and if your last heat was any indication, you’d prefer not to endure by yourself
The silence stretches on, and finally Price sighs, reaches for his cigars
“When?” He asks
“About two or so weeks from now, I think.” and your captain nods, eyeing Ghost, waiting for him to object
“Both of us.” Ghost clarifies, and you shrug
“Yes. Otherwise…well…” It seems unfair. You mentally add
“And us?” Gaz adds hesitantly, and you focus on him
“You’re welcome too.” You’re quick to add
That makes Ghost straighten back in his chair, shock blinking through his eyes at this sudden bravado of yours, a sharp change from your cautious allowance of them into your heart
You squirm, a little uncomfortable, waiting for them to say no
“Hen.” Soap offers quietly, and you turn to the only other omega in the group, seeing his blue eyes gaze at you comfortingly
“It’s…a lot. With two alphas.” He tells you in consolation, still loud enough for the others to hear. Soap, the one with experience in this circumstance, the one who is your packmate, but also your confidant in this regard. “It might be a little overwhelming.”
“Wouldn’t be my first time.” You point out flatly, referencing your original taking by the two alphas all that time ago. Soap snaps his jaw shut, pausing before he concedes with a shrug and a nod
“But…” You turn back to the two alphas and Gaz before you. “There are conditions.”
“Name them.” Ghost gestures, leaning back in his chair similar to Price
“You aren’t allowed to bond-bite me-” and both Ghost and Price look mildly offended you would even have to say as much. “I can back out, and if I do, it changes nothing between us-” and at this Price looks a little more concerned, mostly at the idea that they’d do something to warrant the withdrawal of your consent
“And finally, I want…a um…practice run.”
You swear you can hear a pin drop
“Y-you mean-” Gaz fills in the silence, words tight in his throat, and it takes courage to nod once more, not back out despite the wash of embarrassment that prickles along your skin
“M-maybe not at the same time.” You clarify, ducking your eyes up to glance at the team. “But…just to get an idea?”
“Hell’s bells.” Soap groans beside you, which you try and take as a positive sign
Price clears his throat, drawing everyone’s gazes to him, and he swallows so his adam’s apple bobs
“You’re saying you want to have sex with us.” Ghost declares flatly before before Price can beat him to the punch, an the older man levies a mild gaze at Ghost, who merely shrugs
You’re too busy with your desperately burning face to pay them much attention, not able to offer more than a nod in your embarrassment
The boys are struggling to figure out what to say, you can tell, and there’s a festering, rotten thing that unspools inside your chest in the silence
“Unless…” You venture. “You don’t want to?”
It’s one thing to ask for assistance during a heat. You know that. It’s another to brazenly offer intimacy with all of them at the same time, using your heat as a thinly veiled excuse to crawl your way into their beds
A hand drags you sideways, until you bump against Soap’s shoulder. He huffs
“Ya numpty.” He chides. “Was just waiting for you to ask, was all.”
You squirm, heat prickling along your skin but desire curling deep in your belly, pleased and desperately relieved.
“So…now?” You ask, slightly bolder, and Soap laughs
“Eager.” Price comments, his smoky voice husky, suggestive, and it makes you wiggle a little closer into Soap’s side as his grip tightens on you
“We don’t need to rush things.” Gaz chimes in then, breaking the building unspoken between you all. “There’s time before your heat, we can take our time, yeah?”
You chew your lip at that, and though the temptation to tumble into bed with all of them right now is…promising, you know there’s a weight to Gaz’s words, spoken as you stare into his liquid brown gaze
“Y-yeah.” You manage, ignoring the possible trickle of something wet at your entrance, praying they don’t catch the scent of your arousal before you’ve even been touched.
“Sooo…” Soap drawls beside you, voice playful as he breaks the myriad of emotions swirling in the room. “My room? 8pm? Should I bring lube?”
Gaz barks a startled laugh, and you give a little punch to Soap’s arm, who moans lewdly on purpose like an ass, grinning all the while
“Right then.” Price announces, standing from his chair and looking pointedly at all of you. “We can discuss this more later if necessary, but you-” and he looks at you and Gaz in turn. “Have weapons training, Soap is in charge of rookie drills, and Ghost, you’re needed for intel briefing.”
You all move to your respective tasks with various grumbles of consternation and approval, and it’s only once the team has mostly filtered out that Soap brushes past you, dipping his head low to graze against the shell of your ear
“Offer stands, bonnie.” He whispers there, taking a deep lungful of air that tells you he’s already smelled the slick dampening your folds.
He’s gone without another word, leaving you stiff, staring after him, and desperately waiting for 8pm.
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Taglist:
(Please have an 18+ or similar age disclaimer in your bio to be tagged in this fic)
@alicesfracturedmirror @emrzennn @scatter-mind001 @josieguts @angryvengeful @ramadiiiisme @mutuallimbenclosure @waves-against-a-cliff @sunnynomoar @miyabilicious @piratesfromspace @sofasoap @soapskneebrace @writeforfandoms @waltzthegenderfluidpan @ghosts-goldendoodle @cherrycoloredfunk86 @lostagoodcigar @tbrfic @appleschloss @tizylish @misshoneypaper @kkinky @reaper-chan666 @kenma-izhu @shinebright2000 @zalyluvvs @neoarchipelago @essencse @dankest-farrik @mirthlxss @bi-witch-bxtch
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theresattrpgforthat · 2 months
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@martianworder asked me about this on my Forged in the Dark post, so here we go!
Clocks
So Clocks have been a tool that have been used before and outside of Blades in the Dark, but BitD was where I think they were made really popular.
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Golem Clocks designed by cmartins on Itch.io
For all intents and purposes, a Clock is just a track that you fill, but in some cases it's preferred over a track because it fills less space, and it's easy to just draw a clock on a piece of paper to help you keep track of something as you play.
A Clock can be more than just a track. It can be a countdown, a timer, or a representation of a person or faction's goals. The larger the Clock, the bigger task it is. Here are some examples of how you could use them.
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A Healing project clock from Blades in the Dark.
A player could have a project Clock that they fill over the course of many sessions. Perhaps they want to research a cure for a vampire virus that is threatening a loved one. The GM would ask them to make a research roll every downtime, and how successful they are indicates how many slices they fill - effectively, how much progress they make towards finding a cure.
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Rebellion and Sedition Clocks for Brinkwood: Blood of Tyrants.
A play group might use a Clock to track a common goal, such as winning over a number of anarchists to help take down a mega-corporation. If this is a campaign-long goal, you might use a series of linked clocks to represent the jailbreak you need to assist before you can win over a computer hacker, and then the massive hacking project you need to support before you can overwhelm the corpo servers.
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Faction Clocks from Scum & Villainy.
A GM might use a Clock to track the work a Faction makes towards their goal. Every downtime section, they GM might roll to see how successful the Faction is, or simply tick one slice of the clock if the Faction has no reason not to be able to do what they want. If the Faction is allowed to work unimpeded by the PC's, they might eventually do something that changes the world around them, for better or worse.
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Mission Clock from External Containment Bureau and Doomsday Clock from Apocalypse Keys.
Clocks might also be used as a timer, to indicate when something terrible might happen, or when the group's time is up. This might be the amount of time before a murderer next strikes, before the haunted house claims another victim, or before the world begins to end. In some games, specific points in the clock (such as halfway, or a quarter of the way through) may trigger special events that give the PC's more information, or remind the group that the pressure is really on.
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Clocks for Protect the Child.
All in all, Clocks are a great visual tool to help you and your game group keep track of what's going on in the fiction, and it can also help you keep track of a number of narrative threads in a fairly condensed space. Even if they're not built into the game you're currently running or playing, I think they're a fairly easy addition, and can certainly help with bookkeeping!
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moonastro · 4 months
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pick a picture⋆ ˚ ꩜ 。 ⋆୨୧˚
𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙨 𝙥𝙩.2
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left to right(top)-> 1,2
left to right(bottom)-> 3,4
*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚
°DO NOT take this as literal, take everything with a grain of salt as this is purely and intendedly for entertainment purposes.
°Don't be afraid to give feedback and opinions about this post (as i would entirely appreciate it).
° This is a GENERAL reading, take what resonates and leave and pass on what does not!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚
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PILE 1-
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may have a significant-like a strong/muscley back or have problems with back pain--also the spine!!
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may regularly change hairstyle often, perhaps cut their hair a lot and dye their hair often. i see them leaning towards having red/blue/grey hair.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may like sparkly thing, for example diamonds, glitter, glass and so forth. anything with sparkles on it intrigues them.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may also be into star shaped jewellery, stars may be an interest of theirs.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may wear hats or like to wear hoods.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚loves sleeping, is a deep sleeper.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may prefer winter/ autumn more than summer/spring. prefer the cold weather in general. may constantly have a fan/air con on at all times despite the weather outside.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚like cooking, preparing meals for others. are interested in learning new recipes.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚like history, are fascinated about historic events and eras.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are most likely into skincare and haircare, have a designated routine that they do every day.
thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed!!✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
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PILE 2-
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are definitely a high achiever, may have a lot of achievements academically speaking.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are sensitive to sounds, sound is very important to them. For example, may like loud music blasting in their ears or are the opposite and hate loud sounds, like hating fireworks because of their loud sound.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may have green eyes, blonde/red hair.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚love children, would want a family for sure. has a soft spot for kids.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚has multiple of ears piercing, may have other body piercings also.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚hate being in tight spaces, are picky about clothes and overall personal space.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚very caring and nurturing. is the kind of person to anonymously do something to protect you without craving for the attention of recognition.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚has some signature sitting position/habit that they have when sitting down. may cross their legs or bend one leg and so forth.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚love warm weather, especially watching the sunrise- are perhaps a morning person as well.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚love movies, might have a comfort movie that they watch over and over again.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚have longer than average legs.
thanks for reading!!!✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
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PILE 3-
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚loveee music, may make/create/produce music themselves.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may prefer gold jewellery or may have/own a lot of gold accessories.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may be lactose intolerant or just hate diary, cheese-- may be vegan/vegetarian or follow some sort of a diet.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may like dark themes, clothes, style, music, aesthetic etc.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚weird way to explain it but may hate how time goes fast, may be afraid of aging or growing up. even may be afraid of death also.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚they don't get bored easily, can sit still doing nothing for hours on end.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚have a very hypnotic/sweet/classy voice. i feel like their voice makes people melt ☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚keeps to themselves most of the time, and i don't mean that in a shy matter but in a energy reserved way- they just would much rather have/prefer their own company. or aren't bothered by being alone.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚might not celebrate their birthday. or may think that there is no need to.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚love thinking about the higher cosmos and the outer worldly possibilities.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may not drink enough water/don't like water/forget to drink water.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚prefer to stay silent than to express what they think.
hope you enjoyed this reading PILE 3!!!✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
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PILE 4-
ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are sly with things, almost like hypnotic. their actions are so hypnotising that you cant say no to them.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚have a soft spot for old things, may like to go thrifting, collect lost things, love getting generational stuff passed down to them etc etc.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚definitely go with he flow, they may not think much of their future and are too busy thinking about the present moment.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚like to try new things, may like to go along with the current trends on the internet and social media. may like to make social media content also.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚think about others before themselves.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚may be from a hot country-may be racially mixed.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are very loyal.
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚keep very good secrets. i feel like they are the friend who is always getting the tea☕🍵😭
˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚are good with little details, are always confronted with "how do you know that" or "how do you remember that??". because they surprise people of how good they remember the tiniest of details of a situation or person.
thanks so much for reading, hope you enjoyed PILE 4!!!✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆
FRIENDLY REMINDER- paid tarot readings are available (DM or check out here for more info!!)
*IMAGES ARE NOT MINE*
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American education has all the downsides of standardization, none of the upsides
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Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables on Jan 22 at 8PM.
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We moved to America in 2015, in time for my kid to start third grade. Now she's a year away from graduating high school (!) and I've had a front-row seat for the US K-12 system in a district rated as one of the best in the country. There were ups and downs, but high school has been a monster.
We're a decade and a half into the "common core" experiment in educational standardization. The majority of the country has now signed up to a standardized and rigid curriculum that treats overworked teachers as untrustworthy slackers who need to be disciplined by measuring their output through standard lessons and evaluations:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_Core
This system is rigid enough, but it gets even worse at the secondary level, especially when combined with the Advanced Placement (AP) courses, which adds another layer of inflexible benchmarks to the highest-stakes, most anxiety-provoking classes in the system:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Placement
It is a system singularly lacking in grace. Ironically, this unforgiving system was sold as a way of correcting the injustice at the heart of the US public education system, which funds schools based on local taxation. That means that rich neighborhoods have better funded schools. Rather than equalizing public educational funding, the standardizers promised to ensure the quality of instruction at the worst-funded schools by measuring the educational outcomes with standard tools.
But the joke's on the middle-class families who backed standardized instruction over standardized funding. Their own kids need slack as much as anyone's, and a system that promises to put the nation's kids through the same benchmarks on the same timetable is bad for everyone:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/28/give-me-slack-2/
Undoing this is above my pay-grade. I've already got more causes to crusade on than I have time for. But there is a piece of tantalyzingly low-hanging fruit that is dangling right there, and even though I'm not gonna pick it, I can't get it out of my head, so I figured I'd write about it and hope I can lazyweb it into existence.
The thing is, there's a reason that standardization takes hold in so many domains. Agreeing on a common standard enables collaboration by many entities without any need for explicit agreements or coordination. The existence of the ANSI/SAE J563 standard automobile auxiliary power outlet (AKA "car cigarette lighter") didn't just allow many manufacturers to make replacement lighter plugs. The existence of a standardized receptacle delivering standardized voltage to standardized contacts let all kinds of gadgets be designed to fit in that socket.
Standards crystallize the space of all possible ways of solving a problem into a range of solutions. This inevitably has a downside, because the standardized range might not be optimal for all applications. Think of the EU's requirement for USB-C charger tips on all devices. There's a lot of reasons that manufacturers prefer different charger tips for different gadgets. Some of those reasons are bad (gouging you on replacement chargers), but some are good (unique form-factor, specific smart-charging needs). USB-C is a very flexible standard (indeed, it's so flexible that some people complain that it's not a standard at all!) but there are some applications where the optimal solution is outside its parameters.
And still, I think that the standardization on USB-C is a force for good. I have drawers full of gadgets that need proprietary charger tips, and other drawers full of chargers with proprietary tips, and damned if I can make half of them match up. We've continued our pandemic lockdown tradition of my wife cutting my hair in the back yard, and just tracking the three different charger tips for the three clippers she uses is an ongoing source of frustration. I'd happily trade slightly sub-optimal charging for just being able to plug any of those clippers into the same cable I charge my headphones, phone, tablet and laptop on.
The standardization of American education has produced all the downsides of standardization – a rigid, often suboptimal, one-size-fits-all system – without the benefits. With teachers across America teaching in lockstep, often from the same set texts (especially in the AP courses), there's a massive opportunity for a commons to go with the common core.
For example, the AP English and History classes my kid takes use standard texts that are often centuries old and hard to puzzle out. I watched my kid struggle with texts for learning about "persuasive rhetoric" like 17th century pamphlets that inspired anti-indigenous pogroms with fictional accounts of "Indian atrocities."
It's good for American schoolkids to learn about the use of these blood libels to excuse genocide, but these pamphlets are a slog. Even with glossaries in the textbooks, it's a slow, word-by-word matter to parse these out. I can't imagine anyone learning a single thing about how speech persuades people just by reading that text.
But there's nothing in the standardized curriculum that prevents teachers from adding more texts to the unit. We live in an unfortunate golden age for persuasive texts that inspire terrible deeds – for example, kids could also read core Pizzagate texts and connect the guy who shot up the pizza parlor to the racists who formed a 17th century lynchmob.
But teachers are incredibly time-constrained. For one thing, at least a third of the AP classroom time seems to be taken up with detailed instructions for writing stilted, stylized "essays" for the AP tests (these are terrible writing, but they're easy to grade in a standardized way).
That's where standardization could actually deliver some benefits. If just one teacher could produce some supplemental materials and accompanying curriculum, the existence of standards means that every other teacher could use it. What's more, any adaptations that teachers make to that unit to make them suited to their kids would also work for the other teachers in the USA. And because the instruction is so rigidly standardized, all of these materials could be keyed to metadata that precisely identified the units they belonged to.
The closest thing we have to this are "marketplaces" where teachers can sell each other their supplementary materials. As far as I can tell, the only people making real money from these marketplaces are the grifters who built them and convinced teachers to paywall the instructional materials that could otherwise form a commons.
Like I said, I've got a completely overfull plate, but if I found myself at loose ends, trying to find a project to devote the rest of my life to, I'd be pitching funders on building a national, open access portal to build an educational commons.
It may be a lot to expect teachers to master the intricacies of peer-based co-production tools like Git, but there's already a system like this that K-8 teachers across the country have mastered: Scratch. Scratch is a graphic programming environment for kids, and starting with 2019's Scratch 3.0, the primary way to access it is via an in-browser version that's hosted at scratch.mit.edu.
Scratch's online version is basically a kid- (and teacher-)friendly version of Github. Find a project you like, make a copy in your own workspace, and then mod it to suit your own needs. The system keeps track of the lineage of different projects and makes it easy for Scratch users to find, adapt, and share their own projects. The wild popularity of this system tells us that this model for a managed digital commons for an educational audience is eminently achievable.
So when students are being asked to study the rhythm of text by counting the numbers of words in the sentences of important speeches, they could supplement that very boring exercise by listening to and analyzing contemporary election speeches, or rap lyrics, or viral influencer videos. Different teachers could fork these units to swap in locally appropriate comparitors – and so could students!
Students could be given extra credit for identifying additional materials that slot into existing curricular projects – Tiktok videos, new chart-topping songs, passages from hot YA novels. These, too, could go into the commons.
This would enlist students in developing and thinking critically about their curriculum, whereas today, these activities are often off-limits to students. For example, my kid's math teachers don't hand back their quizzes after they're graded. The teachers only have one set of quizzes per unit, and letting the kids hold onto them would leak an answer-key for the next batch of test-takers.
I can't imagine learning math this way. "You got three questions wrong but I won't let you see them" is no way to help a student focus on the right areas to improve their understanding.
But there's no reason that math teachers in a commons built around the (unfortunately) rigid procession of concepts and testing couldn't generate procedural quizzes, specified with a simple programming language. These tests could even be automatically graded, and produce classroom stats on which concepts the whole class is struggling with. Each quiz would be different, but cover the same ground.
When I help my kid with her homework, we often find disorganized and scattered elements of this system – a teacher might post extensive notes on teaching a specific unit. A publisher might produce a classroom guide that connects a book to specific parts of the common core. But these are scattered across the web, and they aren't keyed to the specific, standard components of common core and AP.
This is a standardized system that is all costs, no benefits. It has no "architecture of participation" that lets teachers, students, parents, practitioners and even commercial publishers collaborate to produce a commons that all may share and improve upon.
In an ideal world, we'd get rid of standardization in education, pay teachers well, give them the additional time they needed to prepare exciting and relevant curriculum, and fund all our schools based on need, not parents' income.
But in the meanwhile, we could be making lemonade of out lemons. If we're going to have standardization, we should at least have the collaboration standards enable.
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I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/16/flexibility-in-the-margins/#a-commons
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zephyrchama · 5 months
Text
Listening to Magic Moment on a non-stop loop has forced me to write this.
Writing Prompt: MC giving "free massage" tickets to the brothers.
Under the cut. Gender neutral MC, second person, one section for each of the 7 brothers.
Warnings: Nothing hardcore but there is suggestive content (every person has different boundaries so I don't know whether to classify it as some or a lot?). One section almost has a violent outburst (guess who lol it's satan's part), that might be unsettling to some.
The Seven Rulers of the Devildom had expensive taste. Must be a side effect from being some of the most powerful and influential millennia-old entities around.
The student council gave you a regular allowance and there was some side change from various part time jobs, but no way could you afford a custom designer brand gift for each of your housemates. When probed for details about what they’d like, they always say they’d gladly accept anything from you. That’s surely true, but you wanted to gift something they’d actually use and appreciate.
So after weeks of thinking, you got a bag of nice craft paper and some cute stickers that reminded you of the brothers. You holed up for an evening with a Do Not Disturb sign on the bedroom door. Late at night a couple days before Christmas, you snuck into the festively decorated living room and dropped your gifts into the brother’s stockings. Those were also your idea, and technically a gift with some little snacks inside, but now they also contained an extra surprise.
On Christmas morning everyone would wake up and discover your “Free Massage” tickets. One use per ticket. Valid forever.
Lucifer ---
You assumed Lucifer would use his ticket quickly, given how exhausted he often was. Despite being as busy as ever, he showed no intention of using it. Perhaps he thought the gift was beneath him and forgot about it entirely. Perhaps he needed hints to remind him.
For days you would check in on him more and more frequently. Send him a text, inform him that you were around if anything was needed. “Don’t forget to take breaks, ok? I’m here if you need me!”
One evening you boldly slipped into his room on the pretenses of returning a book. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. A sleepy Lucifer was towel-drying his hair after a shower. He sat on the corner of the bed, clean pajama shirt folded neatly beside him.
You took a seat on his other side. The book was large enough to occupy a third space. “Thanks for lending this to me. It was a surprisingly helpful reference.”
“I told you it was, didn’t I?”
He sounded amicable to conversation. Time to go on the offensive. “Do you need any help with that? I have a nice hair dryer from Asmo.”
“No,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I have the same one. I just prefer simple routines like this before bed.”
One rejection wasn't enough to deter you. “How was your day? Did anyone cause you trouble?”
You would have known if one of his brothers had acted up, but maybe something else was on his mind you could take advantage of.
“It was particularly uneventful. Quiet, for once. I’m glad to have this evening off, I have to be up early tomorrow.”
Shot down again. Now Lucifer was reaching for his shirt. Before he put it on, you grabbed his shoulder and weaseled your arm under his armpit and around his back. Not the smoothest move, but he stopped to humor you.
“Is anything on your mind?” he asked.
“It’s just that you’ve been so busy lately, I’m worried about your health. You’ve got to take it easy from time to time.” You rubbed your palm over his back. “I’m sure you get sore when you’re overworked.”
“Indeed. However, it’s something I’m used to.”
He re-folded the shirt and got up to put it away. “Would you like to stay the night? You must miss me, seeing as I’m so busy.”
“Absolutely!”
In the spare moments it took for Lucifer to hang up his shirt, place the returned book on its shelf, and walk back to the bed, you already made yourself at home in the sheets. He chuckled, “someone’s eager.”
The lights turned off and he slid into bed by your side. After only a couple of minutes, Lucifer shifted to face the wall. He already appeared asleep. He must really have been tired after all. Under the warm blanket, you reached to stroke his back again.
A novel idea formed in your mind. If all your attempts failed while he was awake, maybe subliminal messaging while asleep would be effective. You snuggled up close and whispered into his ear, “massage ticket… Use… the massage ticket…”
You weren’t expecting a reply, but Lucifer’s deep voice whispered back at you, “why would I waste such a valuable gift?"
"You're awake?" you gasped. Lucifer's prank had been unexpected. You began softly punching his back. "I thought you fell asleep."
"I'm awake, and I wasn't planning on using that ticket. Especially when you go through the trouble to do interesting things like this.”
Mammon ---
Mammon’s ticket had been confiscated. He no longer had it because he got up early, the most excited out of everyone to receive his shiny new presents, and once he saw what was in his stocking he knew that each of his brothers had one too.
Beelzebub walked in on him rooting around in everyone’s stockings to snag their massage tickets for himself and tackled him, as he thought Mammon was stealing Christmas chocolates. The commotion attracted everyone else and Mammon’s ticket was vetoed in a unanimous vote. But he still deserved a gift from you.
Instead of letting him choose a day and time like the others, you visited Mammon’s room when you felt like it. He was still pouting.
“You know I’ve been on my best behavior all year. S’not fair!” He punched the couch in frustration. He really had been getting into less trouble lately. It felt bad seeing him so down.
“Do you want one now? A massage, I mean. Don’t tell your brothers. It’s a limited time offer since you don’t have a ticket.”
“Ya mean it?”
You nodded, and his misery turned into excitement. He literally jumped up. “Well, do I get a little somethin’ extra too? Since I don’t have my ticket, ya know. Somethin’ to make up for that. I’ve got this nice little outfit you could wear that’s-”
You quickly cut him off before the Avatar of Greed gave too many demands. “Limited time offer with terms and conditions. Take the massage right now as-is or leave it. Up to you.”
“Aaarghh alright, alright. I’ll take it. Feel honored! I’ll humor your little massage for a while!”
Mammon dramatically pulled his shirt off but kept wearing the silliest, smuggest smile. He really was cute when trying and utterly failing to act tough. He sprawled himself out on the couch, “let’s see what you’ve got!”
Since the greedy demon hogged all of the couch space, there was nowhere to sit next to him within arm’s reach. With a “don’t mind if I do,” you decided to crawl over Mammon’s legs and sit on his butt.
In a moment of shock he wiggled out from under you. You would have toppled over the side of the sofa had Mammon’s famously fast reflexes not scooped you up, now placing you atop his chest. “Whaddya think you’re doin’, huh? Who said you could do that?”
“You did! How else was I supposed to… Look, do you want this or not?”
His scowl, no matter how big, couldn’t hide the blush on his face. “Yeah, ok, but just… warn me this time… Ok?”
Leviathan ---
It had been nearly a week since you last heard from Leviathan. After Christmas, you thought you might not see him at all until the new year. There were so many holiday game events happening, after all.
“Think I’m stuck,” read the message that popped up on your DDD late one night.
“Can’t move. Requesting reinforcements. And food.”
Concerned, you popped into the kitchen for whatever palatable finger foods you could assemble on a plate and began making your way to the third born’s room. You knocked, but there was no answer. It had been a while since he gave you a password, but it didn’t seem to matter now. You just walked in.
Leviathan was slumped over in his gaming chair, surrounded by roughly ten different screens. Each had a different game and one was streaming some idol talk show. His trash can, while still relatively contained, was almost overflowing with energy drink cans and snack packages. Levi didn’t seem to notice you walk in. He had been gaming for days. You set the plate at the edge of his PC desk.
“Dang. You live like this?”
Bleary-eyed and vitamin D deficient, he still shrieked. “Whuh? Don’t scare me like that!!”
“I came to answer your distress call. You’re stuck?”
“Oh, right. I did send that, didn’t I.” He turned back to the monitors briefly to pause a few things and save a few others. It was impressive how much he could multitask.
“My back’s turned into a pretzel. I thought I’d finally take a break, but when I went to stand up I couldn’t. I think I’m stuck to the chair, lol. If I, uh, use the massage ticket, could you help me?”
“’course I will. Here, drink something.” You slid him a juice. The gamer chair was pretty tall, blocking all access to Leviathan’s back, so you started tapping away at his shoulders. He scrambled to take his headphones off, which helped.
“Sorry to call you in for such a stupid reason. I know this is a disgusting sight..”
You shook your head, though he couldn’t see it. “How’s your game progress?””Oh, about 80% done everything? 85? But it’s mostly the daily quests now, I’ve maxed out on all the top prizes from the main event stories. Look, I even got this Christmas bow set. It has trash stats but looks like a tree and fires little candy canes.”
A big burly warrior with a Christmas hat on one of the screens demonstrated the weapon.
“Uwaah, you know that really helped. I think I can try to stand now.” Leviathan made a made show of setting his legs on the ground and leaning forward, only to magnificently slide back into the chair. “Ow. Ok. That, uh, wasn’t what I planned.” He turned away. “Don’t look at me.”
“No! Don’t give up!” You spun the seat around and he squeaked In astonishment. “We’re gonna make this happen. Levi! Do you trust me?” It was all or nothing. You dramatically reached out your hands. You knew you could do it. You were going to pull this demon out of the gamer chair.
Steeling his resolve, Leviathan nodded and grabbed your hands. You asked, “ready?”
He confirmed, “Ok… Ok lets go! One!”
“Two!”
As you shouted “three!” in unison, you tugged back with all your strength. Maybe you could have pulled a little less, as the two of you went flying backwards. There would have been some real damage if Levi didn’t cushion your head from the tiled floor with his arm.
“Woaaah it woooorked! We did--”
Mid-celebration, he seemed to notice he was in a compromising position on top of you. After barrel rolling off to the side, his voice got noticeably quieter. “We did it… yeah, uh… Sorry about--”
Leaving no room for negativity, you reached around his back and hugged him before he could finish the sentence. “I really missed you, y’know? Come out of your room more often, Levi.”
His face wasn’t visible, but you’re sure it was bright red as he stammered a soft “alright.”
Satan ---
Satan texted, asking if he could redeem his massage ticket after a long and tiring day. Said it was urgent. His presence was always in demand at social events, galleries, and book shop unveilings. After five busy events in one day he just wanted to return
home to relax with a book, but some idiots were running around the library playing war with rubber band shooters. His fuse that day was incredibly short. So he retreated to the comfort of his room, but each thudding footstep down the hall sounded irksome and brought Satan one step closer to snapping.
When you knocked at his door, wrath was seeping out the cracks into the hallway. He practically screamed at you to get inside. Satan was shaking on the edge of his bed, crushing an unrecognizable object in his hand. The room was dreadfully cold. You rushed to his side, practically jumping into the empty space next to him.
He barely acknowledged you. Rubbing slow, small circles on his back had a quick effect though. Upon hitting between his shoulder blades, his tense muscles loosened and he leaned against your side. You could hear him grinding his teeth. After a long minute passed he exhaled in relief.
You scooted back a bit and guided his head to your lap. Stroking continuous circles, one hand was in his rich blonde hair, the other against his shirt fabric. “Thank you for coming,” he muttered, rubbing a cheek against your thigh.“You really saved me there.”
“Any time. Do you want to talk about your day?” Your voice was low and soft.
“No. Just keep going.”
Gently pulling at his shirt collar, you loosened it to caress the back of his neck. He was still in his outdoor attire. He’d tell you about it in time, once fully calmed down. He tried to apologize for the outburst, though it wasn’t your fault and he didn’t quite know what to say. You brushed his hair back, combing it away from his forehead to let him know things were okay. It became your personal mission lessen the stiffness in his back. You’d work your way down his spine until he relaxed.
“Maybe I could read you a book, too?” You suggested, squeezing his shoulder. Satan shifted his hand to rub your knee in appreciation.
Asmodeus ---
Asmodeus set aside a whole spa evening to use your massage ticket. It was special. He filled his bath with high-end fragrances so his skin would be extra silky. He extended an offer for you to join him in the water, heated with magic to be the perfect temperature, but you said you’d wait in his room. Those baths can take hours. You’d be too pruny to feel, let alone massage anything. He had plenty of interesting magazines to flip through in the meantime, and you got to enjoy the plush sheets on his bed.
He waltzed out of the bathroom in a magnificently fluffy robe, another Christmas gift he’d received from somebody. “Thanks for waiting! Were you lonely? I’m allll ready!”
A brand new skincare set waited on the vanity, stocked with creams and masks for you to try together. Asmo plopped into a seat while you pulled up a spare chair behind him. “What are we starting with first?”
He rifled through the packages. “This!” A matte purple, gooey liquid. “I tried samples of this before, it smells divine. Come here!”
You let him plop a dab of the gloop on your nose and rub it into your cheeks. “There! Give it a few minutes and then wash it off. In the meantime, shall we begin? Hm?”
He turned to face the mirror and wiggled impatiently for his massage, cheekily sliding the robe off his shoulder. “I know you probably can’t wait much longer.” You both laughed. With the robe around his waist, you got to work redeeming the ticket. Pounding against his back didn’t seem to phase him at all, and Asmo hardly moved from the strength of your fists as he rubbed another cream under his eyes. He launched into a story about some fan who sent him a thirty page letter the other day.
“They described my beautiful eyes really well. It was even scented, and each page was another scent. Isn’t that wild? Do you think they did that themselves, or are the pages sold like that?” His eyes peered at you in the vanity mirror. “Hey, can you rub a little harder?”
“Oh, sure!” Knowing it would be hard for you to physically hurt him, you put a bit more force into each tap. “What scent was your favorite? Like, could you distinguish them?”
“Actually, yeah! There were lots of fruits like cherries, strawberries, one was pine scented, and a rose one of course.” Asmo glanced away from his own reflection once again and he shifted his weight back towards you. “Hey, hon? Harder?”
You obliged, squeezing his back muscles with as much strength as you could muster. “Is that… Was it the longest fan letter you’ve gotten?”Asmo let out a barely distinguishable moan. You almost thought you imagined it.
”Hm… Not by far…” He started, but trailed off. With a big breath, he moaned louder and leaned back further. “Oh, come on, harder… ” He wrapped his arms around his chest and wiggled.
“Asmo!? What the-- are you…? Gross!” You lifted your hands in shock and he burst out laughing. Without anything supporting him up, he fell into your lap in a fit of giggles. “Did you think I was serious? Ahaha! You’re so cute when you’re flustered!”
Beelzebub ---
“I ate something that didn’t agree with my stomach, can I redeem that gift for a massage? It might make me feel better.” That’s what Beelzebub asked one afternoon, stopping by your room after noticing the door open. It’s rare for something to upset Beel’s stomach. It must have been really rancid.
“Yeah, of course! You wanna do it here or your room?”
“We’re already here. If you don’t mind.” Beel walked in and made himself at home, smoothing out the covers on your bed.
You got up to shut the door, but wondered if a run to the kitchen would be useful.
“Will ice help? Or any kind of medicine?” Maybe even normal food would cancel out the bad stuff and make Beel feel better, but he declined. Beel already propped his head up on your pillow and laid down.
“You’re gonna lay face up? How am I supposed to rub your back?””My stomach hurts. I thought you could rub that, and I would feel better.””Oh.” Nobody else had been able to look at you directly while giving massages. This was more embarrassing.
Beelzebub realized he hadn’t taken his shirt off, but didn’t want to stand and repeat the process again, so he just pulled it up to his chest. His breathing did seem more labored than usual. Out of pity, you didn’t roll him over. “I haven’t done this way before, so tell me if it’s uncomfortable.”
The demon was so much bigger than you, it was hard to find a good starting spot. “You can sit here,” he said, patting his waist. “Only if you want to. I don’t mind.” So you scooted on up, placing your legs to the left and right of him. Beel is so muscled it was like sitting on a warm rock.
“Where does it feel uncomfortable? Here?” You prodded a bit around his stomach, careful not to make him sick.
“Pff, haha, yeah. That’s it.”
“That tickles?”
“Yeah.”
While Beel softly giggled, you worked your hands along the soft spots between his ab muscles. “What did you even eat?”
“A bath bomb.”You couldn’t help laugh along with him. Beel continued, “I didn’t know that’s what it was until Solomon told me though. I thought I maybe I accidentally had his cooking. It looked delicious. But I think it started expanding, and caused an ache.”
“I can’t blame you there. I almost ate soap once.”
“Really? You?” You were always the more level one when it came to food. “Did it look good?”
You nodded. “Boy, did it. And it smelled amazing, I could smell it from across the room. You probably smelled the bath bomb the moment you walked in that building, right?”
He vigorously nodded. “So you do get it!”
Beel reached up and pulled you into a big hug, catching you off guard so you practically fell on top of him. “Thanks for making me feel better.”
Escaping from one of Beel’s hugs was no easy feat, so you happily went along with it. “Any time. If you ever see one of those fake cupcakes again, maybe we can put it in the bath water and see what it does together.”
Belphegor ---
“I’ve got a fun idea. Meet me in the observatory?
When you showed up to Belphegor’s summons he was counting stars. The observatory was dark but the stars were bright enough to illuminate his silhouette standing in front of the window. He greeted you with a warm smile.
“I brought my ticket. I have a special request though.” Waving the massage ticket in
his hand, he came to meet you in the middle of the room. As your eyes adjusted you could make out that an old telescope was set up next to the fountain.
“ A special request? I guess I could hear you out since I came all this way.”
The two of you took a seat on the floor. For several moments, the only sounds were your own breathing and the soothing flow of water. When he didn’t start explaining, you were afraid Belphie might fall asleep in the peaceful silence. “Are you really gonna wait for me to ask what it is?”
“Yeah. If you wanna know, you should hurry up.” You could hear the smile in his voice.
“What did you want to do?”
He reached to adjust the telescope in front of you at your eye level while explaining. “I thought we could stargaze together, but instead of just talking about what we see, we could draw them on each other’s backs. If you draw the constellations I can tell you what they are. When it’s my turn, I can show you what they look like and tell you stuff about it. What do you think?”
If your eyes could have stars in them, at this moment they would. “That sounds like a really fun idea.”
“Hehe, right? I told you. So take a look, what do you see?”
Belphegor turned his back towards you while you excitedly peered through the telecope. It was easy to focus and you quickly found a target to study.
“Two there, and then… Ok, I think I’ve got it. What’s this?”
You started to replicate what you saw with little knocks for stars, and connected them by slowly drawing arcs between the points. Belphegor’s jacket would slide over his shirt though, messing up the curves.
“Hm…” He sighed. “I thought I would be pretty good at this, but it’s hard to tell what you’re drawing.”
“This might be easier without the jacket,” you admitted.
“Really? I’m too tired to take it off though. Take it off for me?”
His brothers spoiled him too much, just like you did, so Belphegor didn’t move a muscle when you tried to peel off the warm jacket. You had to get in his personal space and lift his arms up for him. You told yourself the struggle would be worth it when you finally wrestled it off of him and could wear it yourself. He was being too uncooperative though, and eventually suggested “how about we switch? I don’t want to take this off, I’m comfortable now.”
Dejected without your warm prize, you agreed. The telescope stand rattled against the ground as he readjusted it and you turned away from him. “Do you still really want to use your massage ticket if I’m not the one doing it?” you inquired.
He hummed and hawed, mulling it over while gazing up at the sky. “Yeah, I do, if it lets me do fun stuff like this with you. I got one, let me know if you have this star sign in the human world.”
The first couple pokes sent tingles through your skin. The stars were really far away from each other, drawn on opposite sides of your lower back, but you weren’t prepared for such a delicate touch and had been distracted. “I don’t… think so? Hold on, draw it again.”
“Don’t you know? It goes like this.” He poked again, a little lower. You let out an
“eep!” and subconsciously scooted forward.
“Wait, I’m not done.” He was clearly holding back laughter. “I haven’t shown you this other one yet.”
The next constellation felt less like the trace of a star, and a lot more like Belphegor just wanted to tickle your sides. “Do you know what this is called?”
“Khh hahaha, no, I don’t.” The laugh-riddled admission further encouraged him. He wiggled lines all over your sides and crept his way to your stomach.
“I guess we have a lot of constellations to talk about then. Good thing the sky is so clear tonight.”
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honestly the slutty church outfits are kinda unsexy, you cant just put a cross on it and expect my priest kink to activate. you want to get in on priest and nun kink they sort of have to look like priests and nuns right? that shit is just lingerie man. im not saying its impossible to make a slutty priest/nun outfit im saying it just isnt done like that. but if anyone would have religious lingerie i guess it would be the dol church :/ still kinda disappointed and will probably imagine your designs over the ingame ones though
Wow, it's like I was sleep-walking and sending this to myself! Anon, you totally get me! :0000000000
Honestly, I think this might just be our preference. I, too, did not like those costumes. All I want is for at least you can still see that they're priest and nuns, not just some see-through clothes with crosses on it '''Ư _ Ư) At this rate I'm more looking forward to "proper" priest and nun clothes than kinky ones.
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To me, what's appealing the most about religious kink is a feeling of secrecy and seriousness that cannot be tainted, especially for a priest. The more they cover the more I want to take it off, to defile it, that's why I said I can foam my mouth with just a default priest costume hhrrngghhh- Nun habit or dress can be modified in various ways, I love to do it, but priest robe or vestment can just stay the way they are. Ultimately I will always add more fabric to them than necessary lol.
Even that dress I drew for Kariya, you can't possibly call it a nun dress anymore. But hey, at least it's pretty, and it suits my taste XD
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trappolia · 3 months
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WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING (I FELL IN LOVE) ── gallagher + gn!reader, 790
he finds comfort in you in the waking world the same way people do in their dreams.
sleep comes easier in penacony. the reverie where locals and outlanders alike seek some semblance of escape from their truths and the hedonistic what-ifs that can become reality in the dreamscape is simply gallagher's "daytime" job ─ the meticulous dream-to-dream routine of maintaining peace and some semblance of order in a world where it is so easy for one's perceived reality to warp. those in the dreamscape prefer it to the rigid frame of the waking world, but gallagher knows all too well that the warping images of an illusion so easily influenced by the slightest shift of one's mood is anything but a utopia.
so, really, it's no surprise he finds such dear solace in your arms.
"you're back!" you beam, so sweet and darling when you catch sight of gallagher dragging his shoes past the drunken revelers ─ who will no doubt be stumbling back to their rooms where their dreampools lay, the portal to even more hedonistic pleasures and drunken revelries.
"that i am," he grunts, sliding onto an empty barstool just as you slide him his usual drink over the countertop. the gin burns through his throat, just enough to warm him up some. gallagher doesn't care how much dreamers fawn over the aesthetic of dreampools and the further bonus of their purpose. he's not fond of waking up in anything other than a bed, no matter how dreampools have been designed to offer the semblance of one. dreampools mean work, and he's had quite enough of that for the next 24 hours or so.
but stars know he won't be so lucky.
"tough time at work?" you offer him a sympathetic smile, wiping a glass with a clean rag. your customers at the bar had begun to dwindle, the few that remained idly chatting with their companions or indulging in their drink in personal quiet.
gallagher sighs ─ straightens his shoulders and tries to look less disheveled; he's here and out of work to enjoy some time with you, not to bitch and moan about his day. "sorry, darlin'. it wasn't that bad, 's just─"
he sighs again, not wanting to think about how the pillars that are supposed to uphold the dreamscape and his work seem to be crumbling every time he goes back to sleep. gallagher hasn't been on the scene yet, but he's heard reports of stuff that might be going on, and if they were true, then he was going to have a hell of a field day and a bunch of paperwork to do.
"i get it," you say, reaching over the counter to squeeze his hand. it's been hours since your shift started, and you smell of something akin to cinnamon and spice, the undertone of brandy and whiskey underneath. he thinks it fitting ─ you're so sweet, such a darling, so that must have translated into the drinks you brew even in the waking world, where the taste of one's mix relies simply on ingredient and skill.
gallagher manages a smile ─ one that doesn't strain at his lips and makes him feel like he's cosplaying in someone else's skin ─ and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing the soft skin of your knuckles. the metal of your wedding band is cool, but fills his blood with heat and his heart with warmth. "i don't deserve you, honestly."
"now i think that's just the gin talking," you tease, pinching his chin playfully.
"gah," gallagher feigns annoyance ─ badly, if the amused grin on his face is any indication but ─ and swats your hand away. "'s your shift ending soon?"
"mhm," you nod, giggling as you pull back from him and retreat back into your personal space ─ and gallagher misses you already. god, maybe the gin really is getting to him.
"what do you say we head back to our room and catch a nap after this?" gallagher asks, idly tracing his finger along the edge of his empty shot glass. the band on his finger ─ the mirror of yours ─ glints in the hazy yellow light of the bar. "or i can tell you about the day i've had and you can doze off because of how boring it is."
you give him a cheeky grin. "hard pass. your stories always keep me up at night. tell me about that masked fool who gave you a nightmare about me divorcing you."
"never again," gallagher deadpans, and when you burst into laughter, he's convinced that no sort of illusion a masked fool or xipe themself can conjure could ever compare to you ─ his very own dream come true.
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© trappolia 2024
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lo1k-diamonds · 28 days
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SX Seoul series | Namjoon entry 💜 Closer
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GIF by namchyoon
PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader (You can also read it on AO3)
SUMMARY: Namjoon and you were friends for years — he was your confidant, protector, and haven. You didn’t want to risk it, no matter what, but some things can’t be kept in the dark.
WORD COUNT: 8.2k
GENRE: friends to lovers, smut (it's lovemaking tbh)
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: reader is shy and introverted, mentions of anxiety, being in the dark in an agitated crowd (reader is safe w/ NJ), fear of losing a friendship, porn w/ plot (lovemaking, or my version of it), unprotected sex (wrap it up), dry humping, riding, they're both shy and idiots in love but they make it 💜
A.N. Is this a slow burn? Am I searingly slowly taking you all on the journey that is kissing and feeling Kim Namjoon? Some could say there was no need to describe it in such detail. They would be wrong 💜
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Someone called your name and you looked up.
“Come on! Don’t fall behind!”
You gasped mutely and rushed in between the ever-growing crowd to join your friends and coworkers atop the stairs. The line wasn’t too big tonight but you still preferred to stay close to them — no way you wanted to be left alone in a bar street in Itaewon in the middle of the night. You pressed your hands nervously, looking around while your friends laughed about something you didn’t hear. No, you didn’t want that. There could be weird people and drunk people, and you were the designated driver anyway—
“Hey!” 
You blinked at Juhyun through your eyeglasses with big wide brown eyes like a deer caught in headlights.
“Come along!” She sighed, extending her hand so you’d grab it, and you did with relief.
You gave your coat at the reception with a polite head bow, following closely after everyone. The noise hit your ribcage with the force of an alarm, making you grin with gritted teeth but you took a deep breath and hurried along. It wasn’t like you never went out, or had never been there before. SX Seoul had become the preferred club of people working in the industry, and so you found yourself with a vibrating ribcage and sweaty hands every once in a while. However, you did get anxious in crowded loud places like bars and clubs. An elbow sank into your side as you followed after Juhyun and despite the person’s apology and head bow, which you returned, you smiled with a hint of tiredness. The night had just begun.
You got set on the couches, saying hi to everyone you knew who was already there, and smoothly offered to help everyone get drinks. That was an easy way for you to get an alcohol-free drink early on and successfully avoid being offered drinks for a long while.
“Look who’s DJing tonight!”
You had sat near Juhyun after handing her a drink and smiled happily, engaging in light conversation.
“Didn’t you write his breakout music video?”
“Yeah, I did!” 
You smiled politely, a warm fuzzy feeling settling in your stomach — you might have not liked the constant background house beat that had you all screaming to be heard, but you did feel proud of your work. Of every concept you had written, every storyboard you had designed, and every screening you helped with that led you to where you were now — in a creative atmosphere surrounded by like-minded people who just wanted to bring joy and artistry to the world.
As the night continued, you were more and more comfortable, surrounded by people you knew. You didn’t think it could get better, but as soon as Namjoon arrived, you grinned from ear to ear and chuckled at your silliness.
“Hi everyone!” You instantly scooted over and made space for him to sit beside you and join in the conversation, yet as you tried to keep up, he leaned in, “Driving?”
You turned to him and smiled sheepishly, something he returned with a sweetness of his own. You had been friends forever; he knew the answer to his own question.
“Your hair,” he added. 
You blinked then felt for it over your shoulders and chest, trying to see in between psychedelic blinding lights if something had happened to it or something. 
“No! Just— It’s loose!”
You blinked again, pressing your eyeglasses up the bridge of your nose, “Well, yeah.”
He smirked briefly, looking down before facing you again with a gentle puff, “It looks good!”
Your lashes batted once before someone asked for his attention, and just in time. You could feel the heat spreading from your chest to your cheeks and turned to sip at your drink seemingly absentmindedly.
He noticed? You didn’t know why it surprised you so much; Namjoon was an attentive friend. Caring too, he always noticed when something was going wrong or a project was difficult. He always offered to help you out, and you did the same. You had that kind of relationship — friendly and supportive. Of course, that didn’t mean he had to notice your hairstyle for tonight. You had just let go of your usual braids for something more casual — just loose over your shoulders. And now there you were, playing with the long hair locks over your chest like your heart wasn’t fluttering at the simplest interaction.
“Hey! Let’s dance!”
You nodded at Juhyun and got up with a smile that crumbled just a little when Namjoon got up too. He scratched the back of his neck, sheepishly smiling at you and Juhyun.
“You don’t mind if I join you, right?”
“Of course not!”
She had answered for you because yet again you were pressing your lips. Namjoon wasn’t half as bad a dancer as he thought he was and you had all danced together before. Had you blushed then as you did now? You wondered as you beelined to the center of the dancefloor; you couldn’t remember. In the end, it didn’t matter. You smiled as you turned to Namjoon in that circle of people just randomly facing each other in turns. It didn’t have to be anything much, you were just having fun. All of you. It was absolutely fine.
He grabbed your hand and wiggled it for you to pivot and move around and you just laughed and did as told because it was fun. And not a big deal if he didn’t do it to the others, they were busy shouting in each other’s ears anyway.
You felt light and didn’t think it could get better than this when all of a sudden everything became pitch black. The music shut down and suddenly all you could hear was your ears ringing annoyingly and people either shouting or wondering a bit louder than usual about what was going on. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that it couldn’t be normal for a club to just abruptly shut down like that, and it was enough for your anxiety to instantly spike and sting your chest. Yet a pair of arms circled you lightening fast, pressing you safely to a firm chest.
Your cheeks were squished against his pectorals and you could hear a heart racing equally to yours under your ear. A question never formed itself, you knew exactly who was hugging you. It was safe now. You hugged him back and closed your eyes, using his body like an anchor to keep your anxiety from releasing you into the rowdy sea.
Namjoon could hear people getting agitated all around you two, making him squeeze you harder against him. People got nervous in situations like those. They could start running for the exit, pushing and stepping over people without a care if the panic was big enough. And as the absence of music and light continued, mere seconds felt like minutes cracking under the pressure as people became agitated.
He knew crowded places made you anxious. That was how you justified the way he was pressing his lips to the top of your head. It made your already racing heart jump with a foreign feeling, which mixed with his musky cologne had you sweating and not out of nervousness.
A louder shout not so far from you startled you into pressing your fingertips into his lower back and he immediately hugged you tighter. His lips brushed the top of your head again but the agitation around you was too loud, making it impossible to discern what he had said. Yet, regardless, you were safe. You could feel people shifting around you, voices becoming louder, and the occasional glimpse from people's phones. A wave of appreciation and gratitude flooded you, flowing over your anxiety and you unglued your cheek from his shirt to tell him.
His lips pressed lightly atop your cheekbone and your breath caught. His nose had tapped against your eyeglasses and you instinctively squinted though you couldn’t see. None of it bothered you though, on the contrary. Your lips parted in surprise, his thumb dragging across your jawline as if to make sure of where you were in the dark.
You forgot about the world around you. You were suspended in the air, in a trance, waiting for what would happen next, and it happened unexpectedly. His forehead touched yours and you closed your eyes, letting him cradle you sweetly. Little did he know that you could feel no anxiousness now, you were a blank page waiting to be written on.
Or maybe he knew. He didn’t force your chin but he did mutter something while his lips brushed your jawline, and you turned your head. Curiosity, it was all it was. Because you hadn’t heard him, but as your skins brushed, your lips caught the subtle hint of something plush and wet for the tiniest of moments.
You became dizzy and gripped his shirt at the end of his back. Was that what you thought it was? Was that—?
All it took was a millimeter for him to give you the hint that you took without hesitation. His lips pressed to the corner of your mouth and you sighed, eyes scrunching with the tension inside your chest. You were no mind and all instinct when you parted your lips further to get more, just a bit more. All you were ready to do was react, so when it felt like he was about to break away, you closed in.
You were incredibly aware of everything that involved Namjoon. The way his long fingers supported your jawline with a feather-like touch, his short hair falling just above his eyes tickling you where it got to your skin around your eyeglasses, the softest touch of his plush lips as even his breath eased, the gentlest breeze caressing your face whenever you tentatively parted and rejoined like waves kissing the shore.
You were aware of everything, and yet when the lights and music came back on, you were helpless. Namjoon straightened up to look around, trying to figure out what was going on, while you were just looking up at him, gripping him still, trying to figure things out on your own. What was that? What—
“Are you okay?” Juhyun asked right behind you and you jumped in place, startled. You let go of Namjoon, and it was he who answered.
“Yeah, we stayed cool. Are you?”
“Yeah, they pushed around a bit though, geez,” she complained, running a hand through her hair. “What do you think happened?”
“Good question, I don’t know.”
You didn’t hear anything anymore, you were just staring up at him as he talked. Good question. You had no idea either. What happened? Did you really just kiss—
“Listen, if you’re bummed out, that’s okay,” Juhyun shouted above the music, pressing your arm gently. She looked concerned and you tried a smile.
You could guess you looked as befuddled as you felt, “Yeah, I kind of— But I’m your driver!” You shouted instead, remembering your responsibility with a firm shake of your head.
“It’s okay, we’ll catch a taxi!” She shouted with a nod. She knew you were usually anxious; something unnerving like that was surely too much for you. “I’m just worried about you going alone!”
“I’ll go with her,” Namjoon nodded, unwavering, and before you got to say something, Juhyun agreed.
“Take care, text me when you’re home,” she asked you, squeezing your hand once.
You were frowning, about to suggest staying a bit more so you could take her home too when a firmer hand replaced hers. Namjoon returned your gaze, said a quick goodbye with a wave to everyone else, and then pulled you behind him as he made your way out.
Your mind slowly got back on track with every step you took. His hand was firmly wrapped around yours, and despite his wide shoulders in front of you, sheltering you from the chaos, your anxiety guided your thoughts back to the surface with a forced gasp.
What were you doing? Maybe this would turn awkward. You and Namjoon had been good friends for years, you had always counted on him. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe he would be uncomfortable around you now. You didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want to lose his joyful grins, relaxing bicycle rides, and long quiet reading sessions back at his place.
You bowed as you took your coat at the reception and put it on before stepping out into the cold. He was no longer holding your hand, which was holding the coat’s collar to your neck instead. You swallowed and looked down, freezing atop the stairs while you ran by the options and he stepped down ahead of you. You don’t have to leave earlier because of me. I can get home safely by myself. I’m sorry if that was awkward, I—
“Where’s your car?”
You sucked in a breath and told him before turning to walk intently as quickly as possible. The cold was rough on your cheeks, despite the big round lenses of your eyeglasses. You gritted your teeth not to quiver as you stepped carefully over the slippery sidewalk.
When you got to your car, you got in quickly and turned it on to give it time to warm up a bit. Namjoon had followed you inside in silence and was so quiet that his presence could have been buried under your anxiety.
You brushed your flushed cheeks and tried pulling your long hair free, realizing it was trapped between your blouse and the coat. You were so used to having braids that you forgot you needed to tend to your hair properly whenever you put your coat on and now you were stiff and stuck and—
“Easy,” he rasped, reaching to help you and you froze. You glanced up at him and stayed still as he alleviated the tension of the fabric over your shoulders to gently pull your hair out before leaning to repeat the same action on the other side. By then your eyes had lowered to his hands. The way he was handling your dark threads of hair as if it was the most precious silk, worthy of care and attention. “There.”
Your eyes jumped up in time to see him leaning back, a perfectly blank expression making your chest pang in nervousness. You were overthinking again.
“Thanks!” You squeaked, clearing your voice immediately as you leaned forward to reach the GPS screen, “Now, to Joonie’s…”
The drive was easier than you thought it would be. He commented on the cold, and then on what happened at the bar. He had never seen something like that at a bar, only at festivals or concerts. He wondered if the whole street had a power outage or if it was just that room. You mused that if it had been more than just the room, you’d surely hear about it in the news. 
And just like that the car became quiet. Seoul always had traffic, even at 2:52 AM, it was nothing new. So while you comfortably focused on taking him home safely, your thoughts wandered elsewhere.
His lips were the softest thing you had ever touched in your life. Just the delicateness with which you had kissed, you didn’t think you had it in you. Weren’t kisses supposed to be messy? Powerful and passionate? Then how had you touched the pillowy clouds above?
Just remembering it had your guts burning in excitement, and you pressed your lips. Were you making any sense? But you had really done that; hiddenly in the dark, yes, but really. You had acted on your instinct for the first time and gotten a glimpse of the sky. 
You wondered why now. Your friendship was old and comfortable, and he had always been a gentleman, protective but never overbearing. You thought he saw you as a colleague initially and then a friend with similar tastes. You pressed your lips right as you stopped the car in front of his apartment building. One glance at him and you knew that was the same old Namjoon you were used to. Maybe you had dreamed it. Maybe it was supposed to stay a dream.
“Would you like to come up?”
Your eyes jumped and widened, the shock as evident in your expression as a blinking billboard sign.
“I finished the new Murakami,” he continued swiftly, “so you can take it if you want. Or any other book.”
Your lips instantly twitched into a smile, “You finally finished it, then.”
He smirked as you turned off the engine and reached to get your bag, “Finally. You know how I am with his books.”
You nodded and got out of the car, the negative temperature clashing with your blushing cheeks. Yet you only smiled, locked the car, and teased him while you both went inside. Even the ride up the elevator was lighter; you two were back to your eased friendship where you got to poke fun at his annoyance with the repetitiveness of Murakami’s plotlines while enjoying every other detailed introspection he had to offer.
So when you passed the threshold of his apartment, you were as always. You both got your shoes off, though you kept your coat because you weren’t going to stay long. He offered you a drink despite you insisting that it was a quick visit, and as he disappeared into the kitchen to see what he could offer, you beelined to his reading corner.
That space always brought a smile to your face and comfort to your heart. That corner of the living room had a bookshelf from floor to ceiling separated by squared compartments that combined books and small plant pots in a myriad of colors. His most cherished one, however, was the bonsai on the small table next to the gray reading chair and ottoman. He'd let you take up the chair whenever you would read or work at his place, with him preferring the couch so he could stretch his legs more comfortably. You preferred the reading chair because the setting was a mood changer for you and you could use the different shelves to place your open books, especially when designing or writing ideas. Each square was organized in a particular way: some by authors, others by category, or type of work.
“I don’t have much,” you could hear him returning to you. “But I can make tea.”
You shook your head while you crouched, taking a look at your favorite section, “It’s okay, I won’t stay long. Where’s the Murakami?”
“Right here,” his voice sounded from above your head, and you glanced up to see him towering over you, reaching for the book lying by the ledge on the appropriate shelf. He eyed you and you smirked, pushing your eyeglasses up your nose bridge before looking back down. The corners of his lips twitched as he gripped the book inside his hands; he knew you were just happily skimming through your favorite shelf, and that wasn’t the issue. You weren’t the issue, you were— He took a deep shaky breath, “Oh, right, I have another one.”
He placed the Murakami book on the small table and left your side in the direction of his bedroom, you noticed. You pressed your lips and got up, grabbing the book he was holding just now. Blood was rushing to your cheeks and you took a short breath to ease yourself. You were there just to grab that book. You were alone at Namjoon’s, and that had happened hundreds of times before. Not that you had ever kissed before, but you could be cool. It was in the dark anyway. Conceptually, if you were thinking of the outline of a music video, that meant it was a secret. You could keep a secret. You could pretend it never happened.
Overhearing his steps pulled you from the depths of your thoughts to check what he had in his hands.
“Here,” he grinned, showing it to you. 
It was a book and you gasped before you grabbed it. The cover had the digital drawing of a little girl on her bed, not lying down, but facing the wall behind her that had become an ocean with sparkling rays floating above. The title read, ‘Windows to Worlds: The Art of Devin Elle Kurtz’. You thought the name rang a bell as you opened and skimmed through it. 
“I thought of you,” he smiled, dimples sinking sweetly into his cheeks at your interested demeanor.
“Woah, her use of color and lighting looks absolutely astounding,” you breathed, alternating between gasping and stopping your breath altogether with each new page.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“But why did you get it?” You finally caught up, looking up at him. “Because I was struggling with lighting?”
Your tone was appreciative and almost savvy as if you knew you had guessed his intent correctly. Yet he shook his head once, “Because of the braids.”
You lowered your eyes to the cover again and indeed, the little girl had two braids, much like you usually sported. You smiled, “Do you think she has eyeglasses too?”
“Maybe,” he acceded, nodding with ease.
You looked back down at the cover — the girl had her palms against the glass as if she was staring into a new magical world. It brought warmth to your chest. Not just because it was beautiful or because it was going to help you, but because Namjoon saw some of it in you.
You pressed the books to your chest, facing him to thank him when your smile fell. His expression had lost some of its casualness and you were immediately flooded with apprehension.
“Are we going to talk about it?”
His tone was so gentle it brought tears to your eyes. It was Namjoon. All of it, all of your doubts and anxiety were about one of the most important people in your life. Who cared how you might have felt; you absolutely could not jeopardize your friendship.
“I’m sorry,” you breathed so sincerely your voice shook.
“Oh.”
“I… It was…”
Your gaze was on the floor around his feet on the white carpet as you tried to find words. You half expected him to move or make things less awkward with his spirited humor, but he waited.
So you said what came to mind, “An accident. Right? It was an accident,” you repeated, ignoring the heat making your eyeglasses fog ever so slightly. “It was dark and…”
You sucked in a breath and pushed your eyeglasses up your nose bridge to soothe yourself, and froze when he nodded slowly.
“I… can’t call it an accident.”
Your eyes widened impossibly, “But— But then— I mean,” you blinked, “that would mean…”
You were just stammering and he smiled, “Yes. I don’t just— I wouldn’t just—” He smirked, scratching the back of his head, “I’d be lying if I said—”
His voice got caught inside his throat. You were looking up at him with eyes so big he feared they’d pop or something. He thought he was ready to talk about it and get it out in the open but— Were you even breathing?
“You know what? Never mind,” he shrugged, with a smile that pressed his plush lips too thin.
Your eyes widened even more, “No—” You almost choked from your impulse and instinctively stepped back, and everything went dark.
You held your breath as if you had been caught in a trap. You could have been back at the club, but there was no crowd, no fear, and no pressure. There was light still shining from his bedroom, reassuringly outlining his silhouette. You were safe, just like then. And it formed the words out of your mouth.
“I can't call it an accident either,” you confessed, and instantly your shoulders relaxed. He didn’t move and you couldn’t see him, but you knew him. You knew of his presence and the way he would never judge or hurt you. “I kissed you back.”
The silence continued between you but you found comfort in it. It was as though you had time to process, to put yourself back in your shoes moments earlier when exactly like that, in the dark, you let something from deep within surface.
“I was… curious,” you voiced quietly.
“Curious?”
“What would you… feel like? How would you…” you were getting lost and closed your eyes. You could almost feel him again, his warmth, his scent, the firmness of his arms around you, helping you levitate safely into the clouds. Your eyes opened at the sound of a footstep and you instantly flushed, “I mean, I— I’m sorry, I—”
“No, don't say sorry.” His outline drew closer until he stopped right in front of you. “You were curious about that?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
Why was your heart racing so fast? You were so hot that you knew for a fact your eyeglasses were fogging, despite not being able to see it. You swallowed and fanned your face a little, self-conscious about your hands becoming sweaty and dirtying the books.
Yet as you tried to calm down, you realized silence was stretching. He was waiting, of course, gentlemanly as he was. And you were embarrassed but in the dark, you also wanted to be brave.
“I liked it.”
You left it there, your sincere answer to his question. Your heart was thrumming wildly but you were not half as nervous as you thought you’d be.
“I liked it too.”
Your breath caught as you looked up despite barely seeing a silhouette. What?
“Would you do it again?”
“Now?” Your voice pitched.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” Your tone was inquisitive, but it was more out of shock that he said yes. You were heating up so much you didn’t think you were processing thoughts logically, and you weren’t. Your head was blank, “Yes.”
It felt like an eternity, but you knew that wasn’t true. You were just too eager to see what happened next, to feel him again and check if your head would be caught spinning as you floated away to the clouds again.
The books in your hands disappeared quickly, only the sound of them hitting the table told you their fate, and not that you cared. His breath was fanning your face and your head instantly fell back, tapping the wall as your lips parted and you waited for what you wanted most.
When it didn’t instantly come, you had no issues soothing his hesitation by guiding his hands to your jaw. You wanted him to know where you were; exactly there, between the wall and his safe embrace, waiting. 
Finally, his breath was so close it fully stopped when your lips locked together in a feather-like touch, and you moved. You pressed yourself closer, brushing his lips so you’d match completely. Your mouth dove into a sweeter taste, fingers tracing up his neck tentatively to grasp that feeling. And he let you, falling in with you, leaning into you as far as you’d let him.
Your lips parted in an invitation that he took promptly, leaving a wet trace on your bottom lip before he committed. You sighed into his mouth, gripping his shirt to pull him closer. He could reach into you and all around you; you were falling. There was an expanse behind and all around you and it reminded you of free falling; it was probably what skydiving felt like. Only you weren’t nearing the ground but going further from it. That sky was about to catch you; a sweet, soft, endearing sky about to clasp you affectionately and carry you into a dream.
You only stopped because he pulled back, kissing the tip of your nose before pressing his lips to your cheek. It was when you noticed that you two fit together like puzzle pieces, with your fingers buried in the nape of his neck, his into your lower back, your breaths mixing as your legs intertwined.
His breath was heavy against your warm cheek, “This can stay here. In the dark. If you want.”
You were too far to recognize the concern in his voice, “Is that what you want?”
“No,” his reply was instant, a subtle shake of his head as his lips dragged over your heated skin. “No, I'm curious about way more than this.”
You opened your eyes, eager to see in him what he meant, but the darkness hid his expression. It protected you, yes, but now, it made you uneasy. There was a moment when it had soothed your fears, maybe even made you brave, but now it was enough.
“Would turning the light on bother you?”
You felt his smile before he pulled away, “Not at all.”
His hands were still supporting your waist as you felt the wall behind you until you flipped the switch. You shut your eyes instantly with a grimace and knew he had done the same.
“Sorry,” you whispered.
You couldn’t see it, but he smirked, “I told you you could.”
His eyes opened first, eager to bypass the sudden sensibility so he could look at you as soon as possible. Your eyes and nose were still scrunched, your eyeglasses had fallen lower on your nose than you liked normally, and the top of your cheeks was beautifully blushed. He didn’t resist cupping your cheek to brush his thumb over the red hue and your eyes opened, looking up at him over your eyeglasses. You were so close to each other but you couldn’t look or move away.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, eyes set on yours as if he were seeing stars.
“How can you see anything, we’re so close,” you whined with a huff.
He chuckled, “Yeah?”
You pouted; your eyeglasses were falling down your nose bridge again, and he grinned. He was so unbelievably happy right now, and as you pressed the eyeglasses further up, he wished it would never end.
“Is it…” you were quiet, “better like this?”
“Much better,” he assured confidently, looking into your eyes intently. 
Every time you blinked, wherever you glanced, he kept his cool and tried holding his fear in check — what if you suddenly pushed him away, became uneasy, or regretted this? 
Yet your eyes fixed on his as your hand returned gently to the side of his neck, “You said… you’re curious about more?”
He couldn’t breathe, “Yes.”
“What… does that mean?”
Your voice was a thread and he swore he became dizzy, “You. I—” His lips twitched as he found words, “I want to be with you.”
He settled on that simple fact and shushed his racing heart. It was too soon to confess how long he had been thinking about this, how far he had fallen, and how deeply sure he was that there was no one else he wanted. Nowhere else he wanted to go, no other person who could be home, no other soul he wanted to share his time with. Shit, this was not the time for a love confession.
“Not in the dark,” you mused, thinking back. “But here,” you searched his eyes with a light line between your eyebrows. “Do you want that? To be… a moment of—”
“No,” he interrupted firmly, making sure that every point you touched each other conveyed that. “I want more than a moment, than one night, than a place, than— No,” he breathed. “I want so much more.”
You weren’t sure there was any reaction you could have given because you were floating again. His arms were around you, his mouth speaking words you had long wished to hear, and you waited. It felt like the right thing to do; you just waited for him to become so much more.
“And you?” He asked after waiting to hear your thoughts. “Where would you take this?”
You almost choked with your instant answer, “All the way.”
His eyebrows jumped before his expression scrunched into a rapturous smile, and you filled your chest with air. You needed it, you needed a big deep breath before the dive. When his forehead touched yours, you stayed close, eyes half-hooding, waiting, and ready. You had been ready for a while, all there was left to do now was fly.
You were waiting for his kiss when he grabbed your head, both of you eager and gentle in your grip on the other. His lips were as soft as before but now he was pressing harder, searching for something in the depths of your kiss, and you met him halfway. There was the passion you had thought of before, making your skin pucker as your breathing dragged. It was curious how you were so focused on every little detail of his — his jawline moving under your fingertips, the soft skin at the column of his neck, his wide shoulders where your arms found support to press him closer to you — but had no actual thoughts. Every brush of his lips had you sinking further, every lick of his tongue had you immersed until his hands were pulling you to him and barely letting you touch the ground.
When your feet did touch the ground you lost your balance a little and inadvertently fell into him, which had him feeling behind him to make sure he could sit down. Your lips parted and he looked up at you, hands supportive but not pressuring you. He waited for you to decide if you’d follow him or not, and you didn’t hesitate. You raised a knee to his outer thigh and he instantly supported it, helping you to straddle him effortlessly before he leaned back into the reading chair.
You towered over him a little bit and as he hugged you close, you couldn’t help remembering how many times you had sat in that same chair just to read. Now he was there with you, under you, kissing your neck gently, and you kissed his head with the excitement bubbling under your skin. This was really happening, you could barely contain yourself.
He pressed you to sit closer to him and you guided him to look up just so you could dive into his kiss again. His skin was so soft, his touch so gentle as he let you steer your mouths until your head started spinning. You went deeper with every kiss, and with every sparkle, you became daring. Your fingers laced around his hair, your breaths one and the same as your hips moved on their own accord to fuse you two in any way possible. Your instinct was taking over, regardless of how you ground against him or leaned into him as if it would merge you two together.
You were hot and breathless when you felt a hint of his fingertips brushing the skin at your lower back, and instinctively you pulled back. He looked up at you, instantly wary of mistakenly crossing a line, but in a rustle of clothes, your blouse went up and away, thrown on the floor.
You faced him then, the goosebumps forming on your skin wherever his fingertips brushed your back as you seemed to exude heat. Not even for a moment did you wonder if you were going too far, despite being in a bra only in front of him. Rather you eyed his shirt and pouted, and he got it; in a second it was gone too.
Your lips twitched as you stroked down his neck, over his clavicles, and to his wide shoulders. You knew he’d be perfect, you knew you’d go well beyond liking every inch of him, but reality was far sweeter than your imagination. Before you could lean in and kiss every inch, he beat you to it. His pillowy lips grazed over the expanse of your neck before lowering down your chest and you sank your nails on his shoulders. It was the lightness of his touch, the warmth of his breath contrasting with his tongue as he explored everything until he dared lower. He moved slowly, maybe hesitated, and your hand darting to the back of his head to support him eased him.
He kissed and nuzzled every inch of your chest then settled over your sternum, breathing you in between your breasts just above the center gore. You knew why he stopped, but you were riding the shivers and throbs his every breath drew out of you, and you didn’t want it to stop. You reached behind you and unclasped the bra, letting the straps slide off your arms while you held his gaze. Yes, you wanted to do this. Yes, you wanted him to touch you, to know how he—
His hands over your waist raised to cup your breasts and rub your nipples and you shivered, goosebumps covering you from head to toe. The more he brushed over the hardened tips, the less control you had over a deep whine wanting to escape your lips.
You were biting your lip in this sweet struggle when he glanced up at you before leaning in to take one inside his mouth, and you whined. Your hips bucked over him, drawing closer while your cries grew and expanded with every lick of his tongue. You were grinding hard on him now, unaware of how unruly you were being. Your cries just needed to be heard, your hunger satiated as you searched for friction and wondered why it wasn’t as intense as it should be.
Your chest was wet by the time he parted his mouth from the delicate skin, but you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands gripped your hips to press you closer, and you jumped out of his arms in a mix of outrage and eagerness. 
So that was why you couldn’t feel him properly, you concluded, as you unbuttoned your jeans. Of course, how stupid. At least it was easily fixed.
You only stopped when your clothes hit the floor. His eyes locked with yours and you hesitated. You were totally naked in your eagerness, maybe you were going too fast. But his hands guiding yours to his shoulders before he leaned in to kiss over your tummy made you realize you were being silly. His eyes were glistening, looking up at you before closing to enjoy the taste of your skin, his cheeks were red, and despite his pants, the tent was very visible. 
You wanted to be close so you raised your knee again, and once more he guided you to straddle him. He kissed quickly up your chest before eying your mouth, and you obliged. Kissing him like this was more vulnerable, open, and raw, but you wanted to. His fingertips stroked your sides softly downwards and you sighed into his mouth, gripping him closer. You wanted so much more.
His hands settled atop your hips and it made you whine and wiggle so they would move. It didn’t occur to you to separate your mouths and tell him to touch you; in fact, no thoughts were occurring to you. He seemed to hesitate on where to go while palming your hips, and in the end, it was your hand that guided him to where you wanted him. You froze amidst your kiss, mouth agape as your eyes opened when his fingers skimmed your sex. A shiver ran down your spine, your breath halting as you waited for him. His eyes were set on you, carefully taking in your expression as he dared to brush lower, exploring down your mound, around your hooded clit, and gently over your folds before retracing his steps.
A strangled quiet moan had you closing your eyes to get lost. His fingers were drawing circles over your clit, ever so gently, prodding how to please you without hurting you, and you sank your nails into the back of his neck. You could worship that man now — it was all you knew as you looked at him between half-hooded eyes. Every circle brought a spark, a throb, a buck of your hips until the tension inside you made you jump away from his touch. You kissed him hard then, grabbing his head desperately — you wanted him, not just his hand.
You reached between your bodies to cup his bulge and he choked in your kiss. You pressed harder, too curious to let him breathe or get away, and searched for a way to open his pants, but it was difficult without looking. Fortunately, he understood perfectly what you wanted and got to it.
He raised you off his lap for the single moment it took him to squirm and slide his clothes down his legs before settling you over him again. His skin was burning hot against your inner thighs and as you kissed him, you imagined it was because he wanted you the same way.
You reached again for him and this time there were no barriers. You felt his hard length gently, caressing its soft skin carefully before stroking him against your palm.
He grunted into your cheek; your lips had parted so you both could focus on those new sensations. Something wet was making it easier to stroke him and press the head gently, with every movement earning you something, whether a groan, a sigh, a twitch of his fingers over your hips, or more precum.
You loved seeing and hearing every reaction, but you didn’t want to wait. You were tense and overheating, and that hard cock in your hand belonged somewhere else.
You moved on your knees to straddle him closer, positioning yourself with nothing but the intention to feel him, but you paused. Before the sight of the pink swollen tip at your entrance could steal your logic, you looked at him with an implied question. He nodded with glistening eyes, hands gripping a bit more of your ass to convey just how much he wanted this. And so you leaned to touch your foreheads before you guided him inside you.
You were unbelievably wet but still, it took a moment for him to become coated enough to slide in without any attrition. It felt like a trial and error; every time you tried sitting lower, there was resistance, and so you raised yourself and tried again. And again and again, with his fingers sinking into your skin as he hid his scrunched-up expression. Your eyebrows were knitted too, especially when he hit a particular spot, and soon he bottomed out.
You wiggled a little to make room, your tension gripping him inside you so hard that both of you groaned. You bucked your hips over him and sighed before reaching back, taking support on his legs. The hunger in his glistening eyes as he observed you taking your pleasure from him was like straight out of a dream, except he was really there, stretching you to the edge, bubbling a tension up your spine so good you knew you wouldn’t last a minute.
So you leaned forward again, palming the expanse of his chest as you let the fluttering subside for a bit. A smile bloomed on your lips as he reached to kiss your skin, supporting you closely while he grazed up your neck. Yet as it had blossomed, your smile faded when your eyebrows knitted further and your pleasure sunk in your gut. He had taken a firmer grip of you and used his leverage to thrust his hips up and into you, successfully crumbling whatever excuse of a restraint you had.
You moaned unreservedly and as he pulled away to face you without relenting, you met him with glistening eyes. It wasn’t a betrayal but because of him, you couldn’t hold back. He understood; he told you with a nod as he tried keeping the rhythm steady for you. So you hugged him to you and let the pleasure spike once, twice, until a moan burst out of you with the knot in your lower gut releasing the tension.
However long it lasted, it was long. It left you powerless and radiating heat like a furnace, only he was even hotter than you. He was sweaty under your arms and legs as you embraced him, and it mixed with your wetness and cum, but you didn’t care.
He waited for you to pull away and kiss his humid forehead before he asked, “Can I take you to bed?”
“Yes,” you sighed, still up high in your haze.
He could tell how languid you were so he picked you up carefully, hugging your legs around his waist and supporting your lower back. His heart was racing as he carried you, not because he was afraid of dropping you — no way in hell that would ever happen — but because this was really happening. He was really carrying your naked body across his apartment, your sweaty bodies pressed together after you reached your pleasure in his arms only for him to take you to bed and continue to show you how much he cared for you. He sighted the bed when your limbs squeezed him more firmly and he smiled from ear to ear. It was like carrying a koala bear who didn’t want to let go of him, and he loved that.
He sat on the bed with you on his lap before carefully supporting your back so he could lay you down gently while hovering over you and you finally blinked. 
Your senses were coming back; Namjoon was over you, caging you between his biceps while your legs laced around him. He was inside you, and even if you had forgotten, he reminded you when he moved tentatively. Your eyes were set on his, and that was how you saw the concern crossing them, and you blinked again. You and him were connected like you had only ever dreamed, and it was good. You reached to cup his cheeks and guide his mouth to yours; you wanted him to know that. That you knew what you were doing, with whom, and how, and your heart was completely in it.
If he wasn’t kissing your lips, then he was pecking the tip of your nose, grazing your cheeks, or brushing down the column of your neck as his hips gained speed. You raised yours to feel him as deep as possible, and as you held onto him, you let the emotions flood you. The safety of his arms, the completeness as he filled up all the gaps, the nurture of every tender kiss, the shared warmth, tension, and torture of your bodies rocking together. You were meshed inextricably in an ascent that you had never dared to imagine, and you grabbed him even harder, in case the intensity had you floating away.
Your voice had a life of its own; every time he sank further into you, your soul expanded. Every time he buried himself inside you, your moan released into his ear, and over and over again as he hid in your neck, revering you in all the ways he could.
“You feel so good,” he rasped against your throat, and against all odds you heard it in between moans. Maybe because he was slowing down. He pulled away to face you so closely you saw him blurred despite your eyeglasses, “I don't want it to end.”
Your eyes widened and watered but no words came out in time; he pressed your lips sweetly and you buried your fingers in his hair, feeling your heart swelling with every beat. He restarted his hips, guided by your legs pressing him into you, and you thought that nothing else mattered than him knowing. You also didn’t want it to end, you wanted to stay with him forever, linked, safe, accepted, hidden from anything that wasn’t blissful peace, and happiness.
His hips snapping into yours brought groans, moans, and whines out of the both of you, with wet sloppy sounds echoing in the bedroom along with the slaps of skins colliding. It became fast, forcing you to wrap your limbs around him firmly to never miss any sensation he could give you until you tensed unbelievably.
You surrendered to your climax immediately, letting it wash over you as you throbbed and reveled in scream-inducing spasms. He grunted and swore into your neck, but to your surprise, he didn’t come with you. On the contrary, suddenly you could feel his intent to pull out so you crossed your legs behind him and searched for his ear so you could tell him, “Inside me. Stay inside me.”
He groaned and you rocked with him, keen on extending both your pleasure as much as possible when he twitched inside you. You closed your eyes and his lips immediately caught yours. He kissed you with every peak, groaning into your mouth at every turn, making you shudder.
He stilled and you kept petting his damp hair at the back of his head, slowly waiting for both your hearts to calm down. You couldn’t believe what just happened yet at the same time it was as natural as breathing.
Finally, he moved from the crook of your neck and faced you. A single drop of sweat dripped along his nose to the tip and you caught it with your fingertip. He nuzzled you then, recovering his breath with a tender smile, and you smiled back.
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