#i might finish it up sometime depending on my energy levels

[fore-seer]

child soldier romance of all time

[leatherface-kisser]

Bubba "Leatherface" Sawyer - NSFW Alphabet

Nobody requested this. Still, consider this my Christmas gift to other Bubba lovers out there! Obviously, Warning for NSFW content. Enjoy the read!🌻💋🌼

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex):

Aftercare is an integral part of sex for him, there is a before (foreplay), a during (the sex itself) and an after (aftercare). Basically, you have one huge cuddle bug in your arms. The snuggle session is MANDATORY. Bubba would immediately seek the warmth of your skin against his own. Do not even try to escape his hugs (and why would you?), you're trapped here until further notice. He needs comfort and reassurance after making love, especially if it was particularly intense, so cuddle that boy, kiss him all over, tell him he did a great job and that you're happy. He will be in heaven, mumbling about how much he loves you, how good you feel and how pretty you are. What happens after the mandatory cuddle session depends on his energy level. If he's exhausted, he will fall asleep like a rock. If not, a snack might be in order !

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

Bubba loves his faces (yes, they absolutely count, they're a part of him!). His masks greatly help him to communicate how he feels and the way he wants to be perceived in the moment. I feel like this would also be the case in bed! Sometimes he wants to feel pretty and be sensual, so he puts on a feminine, elegant face. Sometimes he wants to be rough, so he wears a more masculine, tougher looking face. He loves his many faces, he has one for each of his moods, it's everything he needs to better express himself.

When it comes to his partner, I feel like Bubba has a thing for legs, specifically thighs (come on, we've all seen that one scene in TCM 2). He loves to caress them, grab them, squeeze them, you name it. Other than that, he would probably be completely enthralled by his partner's face and hair (we've also seen the way he pets Sally's hair in the original movie). As we know, Bubba has a fixation on those things, so it's only logical to me that he would be overwhelmingly enamored with the face of the person he's in love with. Bubba is utterly fascinated when his S/O's face contorts with pleasure.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person):

Makes lots of it, so wherever he ends up finishing, there's gonna be some cleaning up to do. Whether it's inside or outside, he really wouldn't mind helping you clean up with his tongue if you ask him ;)

I feel like Bubba wouldn't really care where his cum ends up. He would simply do what feels good, and to him, that would be cumming while buried deep inside of you. It feels more intimate that way. If you ask him to finish outside though, he wouldn't complain. Your skin does look awfully pretty while smeared with his cum. Don't forget to remind him to pull out when he's close though, he does tend to forget in the heat of the moment!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

Secretly really wants to wear pretty lingerie, but unfortunately never found any that could fit him so far. Bubba is really fascinated by delicate, feminine things, and sometimes he wants to feel pretty and delicate! He always wants to look his best after all, so some beautiful lingerie would really help him boost his confidence. So far though, no luck. He has secretly tried on a couple of things found in some victims' luggage, but they were too small :(

Other than that, considering where he lives and the time period, something else that could be considered a "dirty secret" of his is that he enjoys being pegged by you (or just being penetrated, depending what's between your legs). He, however, probably wouldn't even consider this a taboo, it wouldn't even cross his mind, due to his isolation. All he knows is that it feels really good, so surely there's nothing wrong with doing it right? He loves the feeling of you fucking him, he feels so full and his brain gets all foggy from pure ecstasy.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?):

This big boy is one (1) whole virgin with practically no experience whatsoever. He knows how to pleasure himself, he has seen farm animals reproduce, he feels sort of funny when he finds a dinner gest attractive and he might have thrown glances at a couple dirty magazines here and there, but it stops there. If you're inexperienced as well, you guys will learn together. You would both be clumsy, it will be a little awkward sometimes, but also very cute and fun! Learning about sex together would really strengthen the bond between you two, it's an extremely intimate moment to share, after all. You and him would eventually get the hang of it through time, trials and errors. The end result is that both of you end up knowing exactly what feels the best for each other. If you're more experienced than him during his first time, then prepare yourself because you're gonna have to teach him EVERYTHING. It's not a bad thing though, he's very cooperative and enthusiastic as long as what you're doing feels good. He likes to follow directions. Directions are safe, they're comforting, there's no pressure or uncertainty when he just does what he's told. Overall, at first, Bubba does not know what he's doing, but he's definitely very eager to learn! And the pleasure sex brings you both is one huge motivator for him to learn quickly!

F = Favourite position (This goes without saying. will probably include a visual):

Any position where he can see your face and easily touch you all over. He's very handsy, his hands are always wandering your body. Cowgirl would probably be one of his favorites. He gets to admire you the whole time, and his hands are free to explore your legs, your hips, your stomach, your chest, your face... I feel like he would also really like missionary, but this time it's because he gets to be really close your face and admire the way it flushes, the way it twists and the way your lips part when you moan. That way, he also gets to kiss you as much as he wants while making love to you. He also likes the fact he can bury his face in the crook of your neck when he's close, when you wrap your legs and your arms around him, he feels entirely enveloped by bliss, by you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): 

It starts off playful, with definitely some bashful giggles and hushed laughter but the more riled up he gets, the more serious it becomes. Gentle yet eager little kisses turn into him hungrily shoving his tongue in your mouth. Hands that caressed your skin and playfully left goosebumps on their way soon desperately hold onto you for dear life, perhaps hard enough to leave some bruises. Bubba likes to be goofy with you, it's fun and harmless, and it's even more fun when it happens in the bedroom. Sometimes there's a funny movement, a funny noise, and he's quick to giggle at that sort of stuff if you follow along. However, when the pleasure builds up, he easily becomes lost in the whole thing and focuses his entire attention on chasing your mutual pleasure. Bubba is a surprisinly passionate lover.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc):

HAIRY man. He's not dirty by any means, but by lord is he hairy. From his chest down to his happy trail, to his fuzzy arms and legs (hairy butt too)... He also rocks an untamed bush between his legs which matches the dark curls on his head... So yes, the carpet does match the drapes in that sense. If you're not a fan of that... Well, good luck trying to make Bubba shave. He would do it if you asked him to, but it would take hours and everything would probably regrow in a day or two. And he'd feel so itchy too. Not worth it. Plus, why would you wanna shave this beautiful bear of a man? He's much cuddlier that way! Embrace the fuzz, Y/N.

I = Intimate (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect):

At first, Bubba is shy and a little unsure of what to do. He really wants to be intimate with his partner, but he's not sure what's appropriate or not and he's afraid he's going to be berated if he does something wrong. Plus, he does have lots of insecurities about himself, and especially his ability to make you happy. You can clearly see he really wants to be intimate, but he doesn't really know if he's allowed to express that. Thankfully, with lots of reassurance, praise and encouragement, he comes out of his shell and feels more secure showing how much he loves you. At this point, expect lots of kissing, hugging, hand holding and sweet loving gibberish from him. He's not suave by any means, but he's just so genuine in his efforts to express how in love he is with you. He's even cried a few times during particularly passionate lovemaking, the emotions of it all overwhelm him. A big sweetheart overall <3

J = Jacking Off (Masturbation headcanon):

Used to do it regularly before you both became a couple. He's been told he shouldn't do it before, but the urges often overcome the guilt. No one wants to do chores with an awkward boner that refuses to go away. He feels a little guilty about doing something he's not supposed to do, but not masturbating at all prevents him from properly focusing on his daily tasks. Plus, if no one finds out about it, he's not gonna be in trouble right? And it just feels too good not to do at least occasionally. When you two become sexually active, his masturbation habits almost completely stop since you're now there to take care of him. He still does it once in a while if you're really busy or away, but he thinks it's nowhere near as satisfying as when he has sex with you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): 

Please praise this man! Tell him he's doing a good job, tell him he's beautiful, tell him he's sexy, tell him you love him! He will be in heaven. Bubba has one huge praise kink, I think we can all agree on that. Every time you call him a good boy he loses his damn mind, it definitely gets him going. Careful though, if you're not careful your praise might make him cum a little early. He can't help it, it completely riles him up. Also, if you start praising him while tugging on his hair, you're gonna send this man into oblivion with how good you're making him feel, he will moan so loudly. Unpopular opinion here, but I personally don't think Bubba would have a breeding kink. Don't get me wrong, he would find his pregnant S/O extremely sexy (if you can get pregnant that is), but during the moment, I just don't see him with this kind of kink. The idea of parenthood overwhelms and scares him. He's the youngest sibling after all, he has zero experience with children. If you want kids, Bubba will eventually really like the idea of being a parent with enough reassurance and guidance, but that doesn't mean he would have a breeding kink in my opinion.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do):

He prefers to do it in places where he feels safe and has no risk of being interrupted. He's certainly not opposed to quickies in more risqué places, like the kitchen or the living room, but if he had to chose, he would do it either in his bedroom where his overbearing family is less likely to bother him. It's also much more cozy and comfy in here, the bed's right there for you to comfortably cuddle during the afterglow. The old barn near the house is also a great option. This is where the generator is, and its noise can covers most of the lewd sounds coming from you both (most likely his mainly). Here, you guys can enjoy some literal rolls in the hay and be as loud as you wish.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going):

It's not very hard to turn Bubba on, not hard at all in fact. And it's even less difficult to get him going during the act. Wanna know the one trick that works every time? Simply call him a good boy. It's that simple. Maybe put your hands on his arms, his shoulders, his chest or his face, talk in a sweet voice and call him your good boy, he'll be one blushing flustered mess in an instant. Other than that, a lot of things about you can turn him on if his gaze (and mind) lingers on for too long : The sway of your hips, the sweat on your neck and collarbones, your eyes on him, your skin on his... Just... Everything about you is a potential turn on. You make him feel so hot and bothered, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

Bubba would NOT like humiliation, at all. His self esteem is already so fragile, his heart will shatter if you start insulting him while he's being so vulnerable to you. He probably wouldn't really understand the concept of humiliation in the bedroom and think he genuinely did something wrong. Also, no pain. Period. Some light pain is more than okay to some degree when things get rougher of course, like biting, hair pulling and scratching. However, anything beyond that is a HUGE no and a massive turn off. On one side he would hate having to hurt you. You're not meat, and you didn't do anything wrong, you're not supposed to get hurt! On the other side, if you wanted to inflict pain on him, he would genuinely get scared. He would immediately associate the pain with Drayton's beatings and that would NOT be fun AT ALL for him. PLEASE don't hurt this poor man, you're going to traumatize him. I also have a feeling Bubba wouldn't really be into bondage. His mind heavily associates the concept of being tied up with victims and dinner guests. If you want to be tied up, or want to tie him up, he would probably feel pretty uncomfortable with the whole thing. It creates rather confusing and uncomfy images in his brain. After all, you're not meat, he's not meat either, and he doesn't want either of you to be treated like meat.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc):

Bubba has an oral fixation, and is eager to please, he could spend hours buried between your legs. He absolutely loves the taste of you, and he adores the feeling of your thighs squeezing the sides of his face even more. For starters, going down on you gets you all nice and ready for his thick cock, but he also just can't get enough of your taste on his tongue. What he first lacks in skill he makes up for with sheer, unstoppable enthusiasm. After his first taste, he can't get enough of it and will eagerly lick, suck, nibble and lap at you. Don't be afraid to tug on his hair, either his mask's or his own, he will love it. Oh and, do this man a favor and sit on his face. Please and thank you. He's able to cum just from that alone. If you're someone who has periods, don't think that will deter him from going down on you. For christ's sake the man is a literal cannibal. If anything this would only make you taste even better down there in his opinion.

When he's the one receiving oral, he can never last very long. It just feels too good. The sight of your lips around his length and your tongue caressing his most sensitive parts is too much for him to handle, he cums really fast each time. He will get overwhelmed, grab your head and start bucking into your mouth while his orgasm overtakes him. He might last longer with his eyes closed, but he'd much rather look at you going down on him. You look so beautiful like this and he can't believe someone is doing that to him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc):

It entirely depends on his mood. Sometimes he's slow and sweet, other times you need to brace yourself because he fucks you like his life depends on it. On the days he wants to go slow, he takes his sweet time exploring your body, and lets you explore his. He spends some time just kissing you whilst holding you against him, savoring the blissful sensations while they last. Some days though, when he's all pent up, particularly horny or when he needs to let some frustrations loose, he will get rough with you. Bubba is possessive after all, you are his just as much as he's yours, and he wants you to know that. He leaves a trail of bite marks and hickeys from your neck to your chest and bruises your hips with his powerful hands, marking you.

Q = Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc):

Although he is more into proper sex, Bubba certainly wouldn't turn down an offer for a quickie. He's in the middle of a chore but can't focus because he's horny? Quickie. It's about to be time for dinner but you still have five minutes to spare? Quickie. He's been busy all day and you desperately miss him but don't want to interrupt him for too long? You name it, quickie. He still requires some snuggles after the fact, so you'll have one clingy giant glued to you for a little while even after a quickie.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc):

Bubba would be willing to try almost anything at least once once, he trusts you and wants to please you. He's also often intrigued by what you're offering to try, wondering how it's going to feel. The only exceptions are what I listed earlier, the humiliation and the pain. He would maybe heasitantly try bondage once if you ask him, not be into it and decide he doesn't want to do it again. Bubba would also try to minimize the risk of getting caught as much as possible. The idea of getting caught by his family (or worse, a victim) during such an intimate moment absolutely mortifies him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...):

He doesn't last long at the beginning but quickly recovers and is more than willing to go for several rounds of bliss. Eventually, with enough time and practice (and when he learns that delaying the orgasm can also be more fun and pleasurable), he lasts longer. Even if he happens to not last long enough for you to reach your own climax, he will happily help you get off another way instead, either using his hands, his mouth, or anything else that's available. Just gently ask him what you would like him to do and he will gladly comply.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):

Bubba has never owned any sex toys and has probably never seen one before. It wouldn't be surprising to me if he's never even heard of them before. Once he mentally recovers from learning about their existence ("Wait... There are toys meant for sex?? WHAT.") he would be very intrigued by them. Toys are fun, sex is fun, so the two combined sounds like a match made in heaven truly! Before anything happens though (and if you don't already own one), you need to somehow find a sex toy without his nosy family finding out (god help us if Nubbins gets his bony hands on it and incorporates it in his next art project... Cue Drayton shitting a brick at the sight). Once you've managed to secretly aquire one though, the fun can begin. Whatever kind of toy it is, Bubba would be eager to try it, both on you and himself. If the toy in question is a strap-on dildo, Bubba would actually start to drool the first time you wear it in front of him.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease):

Poor boy doesn't really get the whole teasing thing, it feels like a punishment to him if anything, and he's not a fan. He's prone to get frustrated if you torture him long enough, he will eventually take matters into his own hands. He's also not really one to tease, at least not on his own accord. He would do it if you asked him to, but he probably wouldn't be able to tease you for very long. Watching you squirm and beg is sexy, but watching you cum is much sexier in his opinion.

V = Volume (How loud are they, what sounds they make):

Oh lord, Bubba is LOUD. He's a very vocal person just in general, even if his speech isn't proper words, and that doesn't stop in the bedroom (on the contrary). It's a non stop stream of unintelligible but clearly affectionate, loving gibberish. Bubba will constantly blabber about how pretty you look and how good you make him feel. And it's not just words, expect to hear lots of moaning, whining, whimpering, squealing, grunting and panting. The closer he gets, the louder he is, and the higher his pitch gets. He doesn't control his volume well, so when his family is home, you're either gonna have to get frisky in the barn where the noisy generator overpowers the sounds, or you're gonna have to find a way to muffle his moans if you don't wanna get in trouble.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice):

Bubba loves having his hair pulled. He doesn't really understand why, it's not something he would have ever imagined can feel good, but he just does. You guys probably discovered that completely by accident. Bonus points if you did during a completely non sexy scenario. Like, imagine you're roughhousing with him, Bubba is winning (unsurprisingly) so you decide to pull a mean trick to regain the upper hand. Mischievously, you slip a hand behind his head, right under his mask to then YANK on his hair... And Bubba lets out the loudest fucking moan whilst unexpectedly getting hard as a rock in record time, taking both you and himself by surprise. The room is dead silent, Bubba is mortified, and you are taking a mental note of this discovery for later use.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words):

I think most of this fandom agrees that Bubba is of average length, but very thick in girth. I absolutely agree with that. Bubba is thick, uncircumcised, and very very sensitive down there. Has a vein on the underside of his cock, which makes Bubba moan loudly when you run your tongue alongside it. A grower, not a shower. He's plenty enough to satisfy you.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?):

Bubba is one horny, horny boy. He's young, healthy (as healthy as one can be in this kind of household at least) and clearly has a lot of energy to spare. His sex drive is through the goddamn roof. He is very touch starved and pent up since he's had no experience with sex, let alone love as a whole since puberty hit. Whatever you give him, he will enthusiastically take it. He might be shy at first, but from the moment you've unleashed his desires, he almost always wants you. You might have not so accidentally created a sex monster, good luck.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

It depends on the time of the day. If you're fooling around in the morning or afternoon, Bubba will still have the energy to continue the day like normal (or go for another round). If it's in the evening after a long list of chores has been completed, Bubba can fall asleep minutes after finishing. He will make an effort to not pass out long enough to make sure you're satisfied too, but after that, he's out. He will grab you, hold you close to him, and you're not going anywhere. Make sure he doesn't fall asleep on his back, he snores. Loudly. And good luck trying to move him on his side by yourself, he's a heavy sleeper (both figuratively and literally). He will quickly drift off to sleep while lovingly petting your hair and mumbling praises to you.

[xephia]

Hi, i hope this question doesn't bothers you, do you have any videos of your process?, im currently starting to learn how to do digital art and have trouble knowing where to start and what to do (im always like, should i start drawing this part first?, is it better to do clean lineart or just paint over the sketch?, do i work on the lights first or the shadows?, etc)

I can probs make you a video on this at some point based on something I'm currently working on, although I have a few on my tiktok already (@ xephia) if that helps!

My process is a bit messier than many other artists - I alternate between stages of sketch and colour before I even think about ‘final colour’. I’ll start with a sketch like the ones below, then slap some rough colour on. This is because IMO colour is an important part of the composition so I want to see what works before I line. They’re not meant to be pretty or social media ready. This stage can look super messy or tidy depending on how I feel or how complicated it is. And they can look wildly different; here’s some examples:

That stage also helps me decide if I want to finish the piece or if I should abandon it (I abandon a lot). Sometimes this stage takes 15min, sometimes 2 hours, it really depends on the piece. But for me personally, it’s crucial because otherwise I find it very hard to envision how it will look later, or forget what I was planning.

Then, I do at least one more layer of ‘sketch line art’, which is basically a first layer of line art to see what works and what needs changing. I colour the important bits relatively cleanly (usually character/s) and add might some subtle shadows/gradients and/or lighting to get a feel of what it will look like finished. Sometimes I repeat this process a couple of times if I’m not happy with how the first iteration looked. This stage usually looks a little like this character sheet I’m working on, and this slice from a Kiki delivery service sketch:

It’s usually not until I’ve done all that, that I go over and do the final lineart, making it thicker, colouring the lines, redoing the flat colours, tidying it up, and adjusting where needed. Essentially I don’t start ‘finishing’ a piece until I’m happy with where everything sits and what colours I’ve picked. It’s only at this point I feel like the sketch is ready to line, and lining and final colouring can actually take less time for me than all those layers of planning somehow haha.

At this point I keep tidying, cleaning, lining, colouring, until the piece feels complete. Sometimes complete for one piece is tidier than complete for another, it really depends.

I’ll also use Procreate’s push tool to adjust things as I go in all steps - it saves a lot of time and isn’t cheating.

Although as you can probably tell from my examples, I do change this procress up a lot depending on the piece! Sometimes I’ll even paint over parts of my final piece like I did in this magical girl street. I think find whatever works for you, everyone will work differently and things like mood, energy levels, how patient you feel, how stressed you are, if you have any hand pain or shaking, and how much free time you have that day to draw can all affect your process day to day, week to week.

Some days it will be easier and more comfortable to sketch messily, other days tidier. Some days you will draw well, other days not well at all. At least for me, I find consistency almost impossible.

So I think there's no right or wrong order to do things and it's great to switch it up and keep things interesting for yourself, and different processes work for different people. Hope this helps!

[ajokeformur-ray]

Okay, so here's the routine I have been following and want to make permanent:

Wake at 3am

Get out of bed at 4am (the lost hour is for more sleep / x reader fanfics to help me mentally prepare for the day)

4 - 6.15am study (coffee machine & fridge both come in handy here, so I can eat breakfast/snack & caffeinate to my heart's content)

Leave for work at 7am, arrive 7.50am for shift at 8am.

Shift finishes 3pm, get home at 4pm.

Cook dinner/reheat leftovers, do the dishes and other small maintenance chores, shower, brush my hair - takes me to 5.30 - 6pm depending on energy levels/if I cooked or reheated.

6 - 7pm study some more

7 - 8 or 9pm - answer DMs/asks, do some writing, watch TV curled up in bed

9pm - bed.

This is what I stick to as closely as possible. Sometimes after work, I'll go grocery shopping, and if that's the case, then I won't study for that extra hour at home since that will put me 'behind'/I wouldn't get my writing time in the late evening. I also won't study in the evening if I have therapy, though I'll be discharged in a few weeks so I'll be able to drop that from the routine and take up another hour of studying.

On a day off, which I get 2 - 3 times a week (2 if I do overtime, 3 if I just do my contracted hours), then I get up when I feel like it (usually by 7am), and just study and write all day in alternative hourly chunks until I go to bed 8 - 9pm.

I think...? I can sustain this. I think. The studying in the evening is an edition you all helped me with a few days ago and I've been trying it out, but everything except that has been my routine for the last month. I'm eating more, sleeping more, and I don't feel too stressed at the moment?

I think maybe I can sustain this, but I wanted to ask for opinions since someone else might pick up on something I'm missing.

This is hard, but I'm doing my best, I really really am. And if anyone wants to tell me that a fictional beloved would be proud or that you are proud, then please feel free because honestly, I'm hanging by a thread and they're getting me through and so is everyone here.🥺

[cilil]

🌿 for ask game. thank you!

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Now I may be both a good and bad person to ask about that because I've been inspired and writing almost every day for 2 1/2 years straight now and, while there certainly were unproductive episodes in terms of output or low motivation or stress and anxiety keeping me away from writing itself, I always had inspiration in my head at least; I suppose you could say I've been somewhat "blessed" with keeping this up without putting in real conscious effort. I don't think there's a secret recipe either, but I'll try to give some helpful (?) ideas :)

So a good chunk of this is sadly, or at least I suspect it might be so, dependent on how prone to hyperfixation and how attached to an individual thing you are on a personal level. Speaking for myself, I'm the kind of person who always has their "one main thing" and sticks with it for several years at least (I was tenacious enough to spend 5 years doing my own thing in a dead fandom) and slowly digs deeper and deeper as time goes on. Others may change interests more frequently, be in several fandoms at once or experience greater fluctuations with high and low creativity. That leads us to my first point: Know who you are and work with that, don't try to be anyone else.

The second thing I think is important is to find a good balance between trying to be reliable and finish your stuff and give yourself some space to do whatever you feel like and fuck around. You may have heard creativity being compared to a river before and it's true: Too much human interference - for example straightening a river - can impact the environment around it negatively, and too much scheduling and deadlines and forcing yourself to be creative will impact your creativity negatively. Make sure you have the space to at least occasionally do what comes to mind. You should be working on project A, but you're feeling project B? Work on B for a while. The muses are moody.

Another thing that may seem a little contradictory at first, but I think is helpful: Keep at it. If you do whatever is your creative thing regularly, it's less of a "big deal" and threshold to cross every time, it becomes natural and a comforting part of your routine. For writers, drabble challenges and prompt events are examples for good tools to ensure you write at least semi-regularly. But again, please don't feel like you have to force yourself to create every single day, especially if you're someone who experiences periods of little to no creative energy. That's fine. Let yourself recharge. We're all different (in general what works for me doesn't have to work for everyone else).

Now if you do find yourself in a bit of a creative slump or lose passion for a project you used to enjoy a lot, here are some things you can try:

Take a break and do something else. Scratch a different itch. Have fun!

Put yourself in the right mood/mindset by looking for media that evokes the feelings/vibes needed for your project (note that this will work better for people who are highly sensitive or otherwise react/connect to media on an emotional level more strongly). Examples: A playlist, a specific song you associate with your work, a movie/book/game/etc that inspired you, artwork of a character

Talk about it with someone else. Be excited together. Ask for advice if needed. Or just talk through whatever block you have; you may not even consciously realize it, but just to have someone listening will help with explaining the situation to both them and yourself and clearing it up

Write a project list (I recommend either a spreadsheet or a handwritten one). Sometimes the crux with a project is simply all the disorganized noise around it and you begin to feel anxious which causes writer's block and/or kills your creativity. Writing a list can clear that up, make you feel more calm and collected and show you a clear way forward. Note: This applies to other situations in life too. Try it and I promise things will become easier to handle

That's all I can think of right now. Again I can't promise any of this is "the secret sauce, but maybe some of it can help someone :)

[cinnamon-sticks-and-coffee-cups]

salut, salut~! i’m back, and today I thought I’d share with you my usual study routine when it comes to french! before we begin though, please remember that everyone is different and what works for me might not be the best for you <3 ok, c’est parti!!

no. 1 - reading! (10-15 min)

i usually start my study with some reading to get my head into the gear of another language. i’ll pick an article or page from a book that i’m interested in and read it through, seeing how much i can understand and summarising it as best i can once i’m done. then i’ll reread it, and highlight the words i don’t know or can’t remember. i’ll look up the meanings, and these go in my set of flashcards on zorbi. from there, i like to translate about 5-10 sentences or so, thinking carefully about how my word choice can best convey the meaning.

no. 2 - flashcards! (5 min)

now that i’ve done some reading, i’ll review my flashcards. these i’ve compiled over a little while, picking out words i don’t know yet or frequently forget and studying them to make sure i can recall them confidently. i don’t spend too long on this, and rather do short sessions often because i find it helps me remember them better.

no. 3 - writing! (10-15 min)

next up, writing! most of the time i’ll either go with a diary entry about my day, a bit about the topic i just read up on or anything generally interesting that i’ve encountered in the last few days. because the things i write about are so relevant to my life, i find it has helped me to be able to comfortably express myself quicker than other methods i’ve tried. i’ll write without looking at any grammar notes or vocab, just remembering everything i can off the top of my head and correct after i’m done. sometimes i don’t have any mistakes, but more often than not i’ll have made a few small errors such as ‘un’ instead of ‘une’ or a misspelled adjective.

here i have a 5 minute break :D

no. 4 - grammar! (10-15 min)

grammar is something i struggle with in french, so as much as i hate it, i have to include it in my usual routine to get it to stick. i’ll either practice bits of grammar i made mistakes on during my writing, or look for something new to learn on YouTube and make notes. most of the time this is the slowest part of my session - since i like to write quite fast and freely, i often forget simple things when it comes to grammar, so here i have to really slow down and take my time.

no. 5 - speaking! (10-15 min)

to finish up, i’ll practice speaking. i do this in a number of ways - sometimes i’ll chat with a study buddy on zoom, call up a few of my friends who are native speakers or record myself speaking on my phone and go back and review my pronunciation. i like to work on making my words clear and precise, and try to talk about things out of my comfort zone. because i’m not based in france or another french speaking country, i don’t get much chance to speak, so i usually have a lot to say here!!

well, there you go! this is what a typical study session looks like for me. obviously there is always variation where i’ll try different techniques, switch up the order/types of stuff i do or work for a shorter or longer period depending on my energy levels, but this is more or less it! thanks for reading, et je t’aime! <3

[authorautumnbanks]

How To Tame A Sorcerer (44)

Series Master list

Kagome nurses a cup of green tea at the kitchen island. The steam rises from the cup and helps to clear her sinuses. The heat emitting from the mug that reads: Strongest Wifey, is heavenly against the crisp morning air. The coffee maker brews in the background. Her stomach recoils at the smell.

"M'ornin," Satoru greets, his hair disheveled. He wraps his arms around her, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. His warm breath sends the hairs on her arms racing upwards, brushing against the silk material of her robe. She sets the cup down and runs her hands along his forearms, down to his hands, tracing the veins. He gives her one more squeeze before pulling away to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Kagome watches him over the brim of her mug, inhaling the scent of green tea to counteract the smell of coffee in the air. It's moments like these where she allows herself to forget about Naraku's schemes, how to save Yuji in the process of getting rid of Sukuna, and the constant threat of curses and curse users alike just waiting in the shadows for an opportunity.

"I might not be home in time for dinner," Satoru says, slumping into the seat next to her. He shifts the coffee to the other side of him. "Got a lot of missions today. Megumi is gonna stop by later."

Kagome takes a long sip from her drink. She needs to play this cool or he'll catch on to her. He's been paranoid about her going anywhere alone since she got kidnapped, but she needs to talk to Yakeru without Satoru or anyone else there. Even though Yumi came after her, Yakeru deserves to hear what happened from her and no one else.

"Did he say what time? Just planning out my nap schedule." She prays she does not fall asleep on the train. Her energy levels have been at an all-time low lately. Satoru caught her last night, knocked out on the couch with a bowl of forgotten ice cream.

"Nah, depends on when he finishes his mission." He leans over and pecks her lips. "Don't worry. He has a key to the house, so you don't have to worry about letting him in or anything." His eyelashes kiss his cheeks as he stares at her with love reflecting in his eyes.

He's so damn beautiful it hurts sometimes. Any other time, she would be grateful for his attentiveness. She's never had someone dote on her as much as he does, but right now, he's making it a tad bit difficult for her to see Yakeru without him.

"Don't like that they are working you so hard," she says, changing the subject. She'll just have to wait until after Megumi leaves. Silently, she prays he does not stay the night and opts to join the other students back at the dorms. A wave of guilt washes over her. What an awful thing to think, she berates herself. Megumi is such a sweet boy, and she really does not want to drag him along with her. He's still just a kid and shouldn't have to trouble himself.

"Helps knowing that you are at home where it's safe," he picks up his cup and winks at her. She clucks her tongue, moving away from the island.

"Yeah, yeah," she quips. Kagome waves a hand in the air as she retrieves the stack of bentos from the fridge. Left to his own devices, Satoru would just eat sweets all day. "Give some to the kids," she instructs as she places the bentos into a bag.

"You're the best, Gome-chan," Satoru says, his blue eyes unwavering. Kagome averts her gaze down to the bentos. The tips of her ears tingle.

"Any request for breakfast?" She tucks her hair behind her ears. Her stomach lurches at the thought of food. A wicked smile snakes its way across Satoru's face and Kagome wonders if she'll have to lecture him if he requests something sweet.

"Yep," he says, popping the 'p'. Satoru takes the mugs and dumps them in the sink. He stalks towards her. Kagome takes a step back, her back hits the island. Her heart rate speeds up. He lifts her up as though she weighs nothing and places her down on the island. He kicks the chair away; it lands on the floor with a thud.

"Toru?" She bites her bottom lip as he kisses the column of her neck. His large grips her thighs, his fingernails digging into her skin. She shivers at the feather-like touch tracing the sides of her lace underwear. "H-hey!" She pouts at yet another pair of ripped underwear.

"Shhh, let me have my breakfast." He flashes her a lopsided smile before sinking down.

Kagome pushes up the oversized glasses and lowers the baseball cap. She keeps her head down as she navigates through the streets of Tokyo. She has no idea when Megumi will show up, but she figures that his mission will probably take some time, and she hopes he stops by in the afternoon. Which gives her a tight deadline to make it to Yakeru's, talk to him, and make it back home in time to wash off all awful concoction she sprayed herself with.

Easy… hopefully.

She knocks on the door, ignoring the sign that says closed for vacation. No way he went on vacation. The fox loves running his shop too much. She knocks harder, more frantic. The door yanks open while she's in mid-knock.

"Did you not read the sign?" His green eyes are cold. She wets her lips and then removes the sunglasses.

"Can I come in?"

"Kagome-sama?" Yakeru gasps. He sniffs the air. "Why on earth do you smell like that?" He steps out of the way, allowing her to pass.

"I didn't want to take any risks." She tucks the sunglasses into her shirt and takes off the baseball cap. Her fingers glide across the custom hairpins, keeping her bun in place. "I'm sure you know."

"Ah, yes, because of the baby. There are no secrets amongst us foxes." He glides across the room, somehow still looking so unworldly, dressed down in a casual shirt and jeans. "I am honored that you have come all this way to see me."

Kagome sucks in a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about Yumi." Her heart thunders in her eardrums, her palms are slick with sweat.

"Did she do something to offend you? I have tried to talk reason into her," he remarks, leading them towards the back room.

"Well… Uh, she kidnapped me." Kagome tightens her grip on the baseball cap.

"Did she? And yet you are here and she is not." He looks over his shoulder, assessing. "I see."

"Y-you see?" Kagome's brows furrow. He should be upset. She shakes her head. "She was working with a demon—a half-demon named Naraku."

"Then the fault lies on my shoulders."

"What? No. You couldn't have stopped Yumi from working with Naraku. And I think she was acting alone from him."

"I should have known that he would try to manipulate Yumi. She was always power hungry and Naraku is a known schemer." His voice is calm, but his fingers twitch with agitation. In a burst of confidence, or maybe stupidity, she wraps her arms around his back. "Kagome-sama?"

"I'm sorry," she offers, her voice wavering. Yakeru's claws dig into his palms. "I didn't want to, but…" Tears cling to her lashes. She was not fond of Yumi and while she does not regret protecting herself and her child—her heart cries out for Yakeru. They stand there for a moment. Her mind dwells on how familiar the others are with Naraku. She wonders how long he has been in this world—clearly a lot longer than she.

"We foxes look out for own," Yakeru says, startling her. "It is how we have survived as long as we have."

"I'm sorry," she repeats.

"Yumi rejected you despite all of the mounting proof of who you are." His shoulders slump.

"She wanted my child. She didn't care about the jewel and I don't think Naraku knew what she was planning."

"No one but you can use the power of the jewel. According to the legend, others have tried, but their wishes have always been twisted and destroyed them in the end."

Kagome unwraps her arms and takes a step back. "A scroll was taken from the school about the Shikon."

Yakeru waves a hand. "They won't be able to open it, just like they cannot destroy Sukuna's fingers in their own strength." He tosses his red locks back. "The power scale shifted with the birth of your mate. He could wipe out Japan with a snap of his fingers if he wanted to. I should have anticipated this."

"Anticipated what?"

"Yumi hated how we have blended in with humans. It was not always this way, there was a time when we dominated… but we demons live a long time…"

"The human population took over?" She wonders if that explains the lack of demons in her world. "But the foxes at the hotel showed us the nursery."

"They won't be mature for centuries. Half demons take less time, but they come with the risk of losing themselves." He walks forward, leading them into an office space. He plops down in the chair, his mask cracks as the weariness settles onto his shoulders. "No one can deny the power of Satoru Gojo, not even Yumi. She must have seen your child as a weapon."

"Please do not do anything rash." Kagome rubs her arm.

"I cannot allow such a transgression. I will let the others know," he murmurs to himself as he opens the desk drawl, rummaging around for something. He pulls out a talisman and holds it out to her. "You do not understand the war that is brewing."

Kagome takes the talisman. "What is this for?" And what the heck does he mean by war? She can't tell if he means an actual one or him just seeking revenge.

"If you call, I will come." He stands up, his lips downturned. "I will take you back home. You should not have traveled alone."

"You sound like Satoru," she grumbles. She can take care of herself. Kagome puts the baseball cap back on. "I took measures to disguise myself." She slides the sunglasses on.

"Be that as it may, Naraku is not the only demon looking to return things to how they were. And your mate would have my head if I let you walk out of here and something were to happen."

"No one else knows that I'm the Shikon priestess," she points out.

"No, but you are a weak point that could be exploited if anyone wanted to take out your mate."

Yakeru trails behind her on the way home, keeping a safe distance where he could jump in at any sign of danger. In his paranoia, he changed his appearance to blend in further with the rest of the civilians. When they arrive at the home, she unlocks the door and then turns to him.

"Don't do anything rash," she stresses.

"You have nothing to worry about," he says, cheerily, "I won't do anything that you wouldn't do. Oh, and Kagome-sama, do be careful about the things you wish for."

"Wait—"

He poofs into a bird and flies off. Kagome groans. Great, just great. Yakeru is for sure going to try to track Naraku down. She takes off the baseball cap as she walks through the door. That went better than she was expecting. She thought that Yakeru would have lashed out in anger, but he was collected the entire time. And what was with the cryptic message?

"I should tell Satoru," she says, walking up the stairs. Aw, crap. She chuckles nervously at Satoru and Megumi standing at the top of the stairs.

"Tell me what?"

[24x7pharma]

Exercise Motivation: Unusual Strategies

One of the most common problems every person faces while working on their health and trying to get into good shape by working out daily is motivation. It becomes harder and harder for us to stay focused on our goal and keep working on what we have started. Everyone needs the motivation to keep on working on exercising.

And in this article, we will guide you and provide a helpful strategy that you can follow to keep yourself motivated to do all the workout exercises. This will help you stay healthy and free of medication like Cenforce 150 and Fildena Double 200 from 24x7 Pharma.

We also have mentioned some fantastic tips you can apply to your daily lifestyle. These will help you stay active and stick to your goal. Getting to a healthy lifestyle is not easy, and we have put in some work to achieve good physical health.

Strategies for Motivating Yourself

This morning, I awoke to a chilly, wet sky. Dark days make it tough to get out of bed, let alone lace up my shoes for a workout because the mood is highly environment-dependent. It could be challenging to get out of their comfort zone and do some workout sessions.

It's only sometimes enough to just put on your gym clothing, train with a friend, or adjust your playlist. Even the most motivated people occasionally need a boost. Here are some methods to spark inspiration you may have yet to consider.

Make a Plan

Create a training contract for the week or the month and commit yourself to it. Specify how often and how hard you'll work out each week and a number of particular fitness goals. Make unique prizes for each of your contract's objectives. 

For instance, if you commit to exercising on a specified number of days per week, you get a new pair of workout clothes if you achieve your objective of reducing your waist measurement by one inch. If you accomplish your goal, give yourself a success reward.

Mark Your Goals

Most people don't appreciate this one, but this action benefits a person's productivity. The human mind works in beautiful ways. It demands rewards in exchange for work. It could be money, a six-pack of abs, or the satisfaction we feel at the end of the day.

Let's say you made a to-do list for your day and have followed it throughout the day, and at night before sleep, you look at that list and see all those tasks marked the satisfaction you feel is out of this world. It might look like a small and unimportant step, but its effect is far more than it seems.

So next time you are done with any task, ensure you have marked it with a big good so you can feel motivated for your next job.

Take a Shower

Before going to work, school, or social gatherings, we take showers. Generally speaking, whenever we have to leave the house. Why is exercising any different? A shower encourages planning and readiness. Showers increase energy levels by reducing melatonin levels throughout the body.

They promote circulation and blood flow, which raises brain oxygen levels. I'm aware that it's extra time. You'll only need to take a shower afterwards, I know. But I also know that when all else fails, it will motivate you.

Movement Creates Motivation

This statement always helps me when I feel demotivated or not feeling to do anything. It was said by movie star Chris Hemsworth who is a fitness motivation. It means that inspiration comes from itself. To be motivated, you must get up and start doing something about it.

Most of the time, you will feel that while working out, as you get more physical, you will feel motivated. Just like that, while an article starts with an introduction gradually, you will get comfortable working and finish what you have created.

So in the future, if you want to do something, start doing it. Over time you will be more motivated to work and finish what you have created.

2 Minutes Rule

This rule is about stating your goal. You must stand up from your comfy bed and wear your shoes and shorts. And there you are, ready for your run. The only this left is to get out of your building. 

And after 2 minutes, you have started your goal of being healthy. As I said, the motivation to do something comes from itself. If you start doing something, there is no one to stop you. The most challenging part is always that first step. 

The key is to create what you do in the first two minutes of your activity. Find what the first step is and start doing it. So next time, don't wait for some miracle to happen. Just wake up and start doing it.

Avoid Distractions

There is a significant difference between being productive and being busy. It would be best to cut out the distractions and unnecessary actions that kill most of your time and don't benefit you. Being productive requires focus and making yourself accountable for your efforts.

While doing something important, you will be distracted and lose your whole momentum. Imagine being distracted for hours. You just lost your motivation and thirst for work.

My mobile is my biggest distraction, so I avoid having it near me while doing something important, and it works. You have to stick to a proper working environment and be in it no matter what, and that's the key.

Benefits of Exercising

Exercise regularly is one of the most crucial things you can do for your health. Physical activity can strengthen your bones and muscles, help you maintain a healthy weight, increase your ability to carry out daily tasks and improve your cognitive health. There are many other advantages of exercising regularly.

Adults who spend less time sitting and exercising get tons of health benefits. Physical activity influences your health more than very few other lifestyle decisions. Some other benefits of exercising are mentioned below for your motivation.

Exercising is an activity that has immediate positive effects on your body and physical health.

Many sorts of exercises, like cardio exercises, are effective in weight loss management.

Building muscles can also be gained by doing heaving lifting exercises.

Physical activities help you make your bones stronger and long working.

You get your immunity improved with the help of exercising.

Daily exercising helps you get rid of medications like Cenforce 150 and Fildena 200 from 24x7 Pharma. Daily physical activity routine is the secret to living a long, healthy, and disease-free life.

Exercising helps you reduce the risk of heart disease and breathing disorders.

Conclusion

Being healthy and living a long life without any disease or disorder is everyone's dream. And for this, we all have to put some work into it. Otherwise, it will be impossible to achieve our goal. 

The strategies we have mentioned will be highly beneficial for you to get up and go to your gym and do a perfect workout session. Anyone can feel demotivated at some time. The major is how you deal with it. 

If you are confident in yourself and stick to your goal. The tips we have mentioned above have been really helpful for many people and can positively affect your lifestyle. So next, you feel demotivated, follow these tips, and you will see a positive result in your life in no time.

[rodrigueziibegeberg]

The best way to find the perfect biking, running, or jogging music is to adjust it to a range of about 1-2 beats per minute

I've been jogging all my life. But recently, I was required to adapt to Covid Pandemics, lockdowns, pandemics and lockdowns. So, I began to jog inside. I've also started biking inside. This stationary bike is truly amazing.. It has digital display with natural and surrounding views while you ride the trails of the most exotic countries, terrains and even planets.. The treadmill's running part is the identical. It displays 360 degrees enhanced reality of your trail. While it may be distracting, it's extremely relaxing and lets you to take in the moment.

What I'm finding easier is to make my runs and bike sessions as precise as I can. You might be wondering what I mean by. Simply put, I listen to some of the songs that I have chosen based on their beats per minutes values. I am a sound gear head nerd. I categorize all music that I hear into a specific category. There is so many songs that I am a fan of dancing to, it's hard to resist. I start with slower songs, those that go between 80 and 90 BPM, which allows me to warm up and more like a stroll to keep the energy levels up, gradually increasing the BPM to the songs by 5-10 beats per minute and then stop around 130-140 depending on my mood and if I want to continue with my routine : bike or treadmill, pushups abdominals and pushups. You can continue to do it. Sometimes I'll also add trampoline. It's fun to work out in the house, but my wife is always watching me and I'm not a fan because it's distracting but she doesn't care...

My exercise mix, or running mix is about 2 hours long. Because it builds up so nicely, I finish my routing faster than ever before. It is easy to pick up speed with less effort. Slowly, I accelerate round-after-round and complete the workout a little faster each time. I also love watching television, listening to music, and reading news articles while I work out. It has helped me lose 10, maybe 15% of my body weight already. I'd like to become the face of any campaigns which promote living in the house as a way to reduce weight and make people look more attractive. But it's not the truth. You can spend time with your friends to improve your body and build muscles and get older and showcase it in the future.

It is very easy to have fun with diverse music. It is easy to bring up my beats mix, and then see the BPM it's playing. If I'm looking for something more lengthy, I download long dj mixes live from Youtube. They are typically perfect and start slowly and then explode into wild finales. The mixes are backed by a measures of the DJ and ensure that everything is not more or less than it ought to be. Although I do not recommend downloading Youtube videos and converting them to MP3, this is a good method. y2mate mp3 download Share your downloads however, not with anyone else.

[brisbookmark]

The Three Times Jason Wasn’t Saved- and The One Time he Was

Jason Todd x Reader

Warnings: detailed descriptions of torture, angst, character death, blood, needles, knives/ cutting, batfam au where the gangs all here, Robin!Jason, reader can summon weapons, sad ending

One

His head hangs, he doesn't have the energy. His feet barely touch the ground, and yet he makes no move to stand himself up. They're tingly and fuzzy and cold, as are his hands that are tied above his head. 

Jason Todd hangs in chains like a slaughtered pig, and his breathing is hoarse. His dull blue eyes land on the bloodied crowbar laying on the floor. It's his blood, and it makes him groan in pain. Hyper realization of his injuries hits him and he whimpers. It's low, pathetic, and his breathing picks up.

He doesn’t remember how to wear clothes that aren’t covered in dirt and grime and acid. The fabric of his robin suit sticks to his skin, blending with his wounds. Every small move of limb sends fires of pain throughout his body, and he tries his hardest not to make a sound. 

The Asylum wing is freezing and he’s cold, skin almost blue. He shivers every once in a while- it’s different from when the Asylum is scorching hot and he feels like he’s in hell where he belongs. The hair he used to keep so elegantly messy, it's dirty and scorched and matted and greasy against his head.

And he’s scared.

He knows that if he looks up, he'll see pictures. Taped to the dusty and damp walls of Arkham Asylum. Red circles trace each of their faces, and whether or not it's paint or blood he doesn't want to know.

It’s blood, it’s always been blood.

He can't bear to see their faces right now. Barbara, happy and smiling next to Dick as they enjoy a Gotham carnival. They're happy without him, he always held them back. He was too dependent on Barbara as a sister figure and was just an annoying kid to Dick, they're better now. 

Bruce. With a child on his shoulders. The son Jason could never be. A new Robin, one that could properly fulfill his duties. He was the failure, he was never going to be what Dick Grayson was. Maybe his replacement could, his replacement wouldn't let himself get captured.

Barbara and Selina and Alfred who had only ever taken care of him.

All with red targets around them. Everyone he'd ever cared for. Marked.

Everyone except Y/N, who's picture lay in pieces on the ground. Unlike the others, it wasn't taken by Joker's goons, and it wasn't recent.

It was her student ID from their first year at Gotham Academy. She was young, really young, eyes still bright and skin untainted by the scars of vigilante work. And she wasn't even looking at the camera but rather off to the side, caught by surprise when the photographer flashed his equipment. She hated pictures, and going to school was never a part of the deal. She’s mid laughing and so alive and happy in a world where Jason never hurt her. 

He'd stolen it soon after it was taken, sticking it in his wallet so she'd be forced to ask him for his own. You couldn't access the Academy Library without one after all. 

And the Joker had found it in his pocket and took it and ruined it and tore it and left her in pieces in the corner, her name never spoken from the maniac again. 

Jason assumed that was good. Better to be left in silence than threatened and marked for death. Hell, he couldn’t remember how long it's been since he’s seen her, and he softly starts to whisper her name. She promised him a night out once he found his mother, 

No, he couldn’t. 

Maybe the Joker couldn’t find her, hadn’t figured out her identity. He could keep her safe.

"What's that my boy?"

"No.. no," Robin pleads, the voice of nails on a chalkboard sending fear into his every bone. "Not again, not again."

The Joker comes into view and a weak cry comes from Jason's lips. His body jerks and another cough wracks his body, warm blood spilling from his mouth. Broken ribs, internal bleeding, punctured lung, he has no idea what it could be. If only Alfred were here, or Dick. To let him rest as they fixed him up, took care of him.

His chin is grabbed harshly, the bruising making it worse. The Joker laughs, pushing his face upwards and close to his own. He can smell death and acid on this villain, and Jason whimpers again. 

"How long do you think it's been, Jason?"

The robin doesn't answer. He can't keep track. He tried counting the amount of times Joker visited him, but then again, that was most likely more than once a day. And sometimes it was Harley, or a low level goon dressed like Batman and Nightwing and Batigrl and her. 

Time is a blur to him, he's been in pain too long. Everything hurts, even if someone were to save him now, he feels practically gone already. 

He wanted someone to save him.

"What about it Jason? You think Bats will come? Save his precious son?" The Joker prods, mouth wide.

Jason wants to say it. But the words dont leave his mouth. 

"Go on, don't be scared Jason. Tell me, tell dear old Joker."

"HE'LL COME FOR ME!" he yells, and it uses all his strength to just move his jaw.

"Even when he's better off without you?" The Joker asks, and he bends down to lift the bloodied crowbar. 

No. Please, anything but that. 

"He's going to! He has to!" Jason screams, and then tears start streaming down his cheeks.

The metal finds its way onto his hip, sending his body swaying helplessly as he cries. 

"Tell me, who's hurting you?" The Joker asks, grin never leaving his face as he hits Jason again. 

"Please stop, I'll do anything," the boy pleads, desperately trying to think of anything else. If only the Joker would end him now, let him go free.

"Who's hurting you Jason?"

"YOU!" He shrieks, the crowbar smacking painfully across his chest and ripping at the skin. It's like his lungs have collapsed, he no longer has bones. 

"Wrong!" 

"The, the Joker-"

"WRONG AGAIN MY BOY."

Jason looks up at the pictures on the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. Blood pours into his mouth and he spits it out, shaking in his chains. "Batman.. batman is hurting me."

The next hit never comes. "Attaboy," The Joker mutters, and then he leaves.

Two

He returns the next morning. Jason assumes it's the next morning, as he's in a new purple suit. Harley gave him a dosage some odd amount of time ago, it must be a new day. His limbs are numb, his wrists are cracked and bleeding. He tries to keep his tongue in his mouth but his jaw is slack and disfigured, it’s increasingly difficult. 

Jason hasn't slept in days. Dark circles accessorize his black eyes, it's a miracle he can see at all.

The green haired man sets a timer in the corner of the room, and the Robin's brain goes into endless loops of trauma. The crowbar, the explosion that almost killed him. His mind wandered to warm arms pulling him out, thinking Bruce had pulled him from the rubble. Except it wasn't his father at all.

Batman hadn't even tried. 

"Jason." The Joker says sweetly, walking around the boy like a predator. The robin is helpless, he's lost all feeling in his limbs. "I thought I might tell you a story today."

The dark haired boy stays silent. He doesn't cry, he doesn't scream, he prays to a god he doesn't know for it all to stop. A bullet, a poison, the world ends in a fiery explosion, he didn't care.

"Jason."

"Just kill me already," he pleads, voice cracking and desperate.

Loud laughter echoes through the room. Jason's head hurts from the sheer volume, and it doesn't stop. It gets louder, and it carries around, and Jason lets out hushed breaths. 

"I can't kill you boy, we're a great team you and I! Would you like to hear my story?"

Jason closes his eyes in anticipation for today's beating.

The Joker grabs his face again, and Jason is groggy. Fading in and out of consciousness. But as his eyes are forced open and the first thing he sees is a blade, Jason screams.

It's a dull knife, long and serrated and bloody and dirty. And in its reflection is the lunatic's face, grinning like mad. The light catches on the razor as the Joker's eyes go wide.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" He sneers, and Jason cries. He struggles to get away, hanging helplessly from his suspension. Nothing works, and two goons from the shadows hold him still with no thought towards his bruised and broken body.

He's in agony, and he's begging. He's in insurmountable pain and he can't do anything about it. The razor is brought to Jason's lips, presses to the side of his mouth with dull pressure.

He’s muffled now, and he continues fighting. 

"Just,, like, this!!" The Joker yells, dragging the blade upward through Jason's skin at a slow agonizing pace. He wants this to be slow and torturous, and Jason only cries and shakes. It hurts, god it hurts, he's being cut open, and the blood and tears mix and cause him more pain, 

He almost wishes for the crowbar again and once the knife is finished on one side, he screams again. His blood bleeds from the blade and falls onto the floor, joining the rest from the past days. Months? It couldn’t have been years.

“Such a handsome young man,” the joker croons, erupting into even more laughter. “Tell me what brought the chicks in, your crippling daddy issues or your criminal record?”

Jason couldn’t answer if he tried. The Joker grabs his face, almost smelling his newfound wounds, and then pulls back, leaving him in a hanging sway. 

“Let me go..” he pleads, mouth sore. His bright blue eyes are so devoid of color it hurts, and he closes them. Blood and dirt clumps on his pretty eyelashes. 

“Now I don’t think I can do that dear Jason.”

Joker licks the blade clean, it catches on the man's tongue and cuts him, not that he cares. Jason's glad he's not forced to swallow the damn thing.

Well, be careful what you wish for. 

Its sharp edge is brought down his jaw, down his neck, so close to his jugular veins, if only he could shift and catch himself on the blade, he could end it all. 

He starts crying.

He doesn’t know when he stops.

The Asylum walls go black, and he's shrieking. Harley Quinn brings a bat to his body as the Joker moves his knife, and it finds solace along Jason's cold chest.

One cut. Two cuts. Jason screams more. His throat is raw, he doesn't even know where his terror is coming from anymore, it'd been beaten out of him. 

"Bruce-, bruce stop-"

The Joker laughs. "AHA, the boys learning, don't you see? That's right, that's right."

The cuts are few, and after a while they're bearable. The hardest part to deal with is Harley"s high squeals as she beats him. She calls him cute, handsome, a songbird.

Songbird.

"You can't.."

"I can't what Jay darling? Hmm?? What can't I do?" The Queen of crime pouts, and Jason sees red.

"Don't say that," he spits, finding his voice. "That name isn't for you bitch."

The next time the knife touches his skin, it's coated in acid. And he's yelling for it to stop, he's pleading, thrashing around.

His kicks find Harley and he's flown forward and backward, still chained to the ceiling. Its desperate.

"JAY DARLIING," she sings. "Puddin what else gets our birdie going?? Mm? What makes him sing like a good pet. Oh this is exciting!" 

"SHUT UP-"

"Jay," Harley flutters her eyelashes, bringing herself close to his face. "Baby? Love? Is it sweetheart?" Her mouth is wide, eyes deranged. "Perhaps it's Mister J! He stares into her gaze, and for a second the jester flinches.

If Jason wasn't suspended and restrained, he'd kill her. He knew it and she knew it and Joker most definitely knew.

"Well Jason, kill her then! Do it loverboy, why won't you end her?" He croons, and Harley feigns sadness. 

"I-" he starts, unwilling to let himself hang in shame. How could he do this? 

"Oh come on angel! Why don't you try?" She shrieks, and then Jason is shouting, further tearing into the cuts along his mouth as he brings his legs up, attempting to wrap them around Harley's neck. 

He doesn't get very far. Someone holds him steady, and the stinging knife is brought back to his chest. An H. An A. Another H and an A. 

Straight across his chest, and then it begins again. Jason's breathing is labored from his attempt to retaliate, and he slips back into his daze of unconsciousness. He can't do this much longer.

THE.

Jason can see it in the mirror on the opposite wall. He doesn't remember when that got put there. If he could reach something with his feet he could throw it. Break the glass, pick it up with his feet again perhaps, end this torture-

JOKES.

Jason feels like vomiting. 

ON.

Jason vomits on the ground in front of him. Sweat sticks to his skin and he's pale, he feels a fever growing on him. The knife continues lower to his bruised skin. This couldn't get worse, could it. 

YOU.

The words are engraved on his body, marred by the blood dripping from it. Jason's eyes roll to the back of his head. The trauma puts him to sleep, and the Harley Quinn whispers another "Jay Darling" into his ear before departing. 

Three

Y/N’s picture is gone now, he can't even piece it together in his mind anymore. The scraps are scattered and disintegrated into dust.

This time he hears Harley before Joker, she's hanging off of the clown's arm, looking at him with the adoration of a psychopath. In her hands is a long poker, tip red hot, and she swings it without a care in the world. She giggles as her love comes closer to the half dead boy, untying his chains.

Jason lands on the floor, a crumpled heap of skin and broken bones. His head hits the ground, but it's the most beautiful thing he's touched in a long time.

He doesn't move, curling into a protective ball. 

"Mister J our bird isn't moving," Harley whines, kicking him in the back. He groans, shielding himself as best he could. There's nothing on the ground that's usable, not even a sharp stick or rock, there's a used abandoned needle but it sends him into nausea.

The Joker's laughing brings him back to reality as he attempts to crawl away. The floor is appalling, disgusting, a mix of wax and blood and body fluids that he wished he could forget, but he's let go. 

Jason slams his hands on the cement, using the force to wake him up and pull himself forward. His legs don't work, he's going delirious again, and then there's the sizzle of water behind him.

"Where are you going birdie?" Harley asks, and the Joker takes another step closer. 

"No, no, NO-" Jason pleads. Please let him go, dead or alive he doesn't care. Just get him out of here, make it stop. It's the only word he knows at the moment, every syllable is tortuous to pronounce. He bangs his head on the cement. God he’s going insane.

Stop touching him. Stop hurting him. 

He’s been beaten and tortured and degraded in the worst ways possible. He couldn’t remember what it was like to be human. And still, this was the worst pain yet.

He's pinned down as the hot poker nears his face, the symbol bright red on the end. Like a branded piece of meat. His flesh burns and sizzles as the Joker gives more pressure, and Jason's never screamed louder. 

It's in the intense silence within which he screams with his whole body. It forces its way from deep in his throat, demonic and angry and scared. 

He's hiding a truth from himself, and soon he's not screaming from the burning, but rather that he's stuck here. Forever. 

Edged with the tantalisingly sweet release of death, the Joker will never give it to him. 

The Joker will never let him die, he will never let him go. And now his cursed J is on Jason’s cheek, he’ll forever be the Joker’s pet.

When the brand stick is taken off his skin, Jason is sweating and pale and falls asleep.

"What a shame you couldn't handle it."

x

Y/N runs through the hallway with desperation. She'd tracked down Harley one night and by some god forsaken miracle, the deranged woman had blood on her skirts.

Another miracle hadY/N sneaking into Wayne Manor to ask Barbara to help her, analyzing the blood samples to track down the Joker.

They found something better.

For a second she believed Bruce's high end, most technologically advanced equipment was wrong. Babs assured her it wasn't. That was Jason's blood on Harley, less than two weeks old. 

"Jason?"

The boy looks up, whimpering. He almost doesn't hear her.

"Oh Jay," she whispers from the hallway. She's just a shadow but Jason knows it's her. No one has ever said his name with such gentleness. 

The woman lets out a sob. He's here, he's alive, he's gonna be okay. 

Jason holds back sobs of his own as she runs to him. Her fingers are first to touch him, resting on his chest and trailing over his scars, his wounds and his blood. His torn clothes, the dirt and acid burns. Her hand stops over his heart, beating so slow she would have believed him to be dead.

But this is Jason. He's not dying anytime soon. Especially not if she can help it.

Tears stream down her face as she wraps her arms around him, holding him close. 

He's gonna be okay.

Y/N is immediately supporting him as she conjures a knife to cut him down. His arms are free and he nearly goes unconscious.

She catches him before he can fall. It's not like the Joker when he needs to crawl away like a wounded puppy. He welcomes the other presence in the damp room, shaking. Jason lifts his head, and he doesn't even have to move until she's at his side. It's so different.. he forgot what this feels like. 

Jason forgot what it felt like to have emotions besides fear. 

He curls into her lap, slowly using her body to sit up. 

"Jay look at me, please," she murmurs, holding his face and brushing the hair out of those colorless eyes. "Oh my god I knew it.. I knew you were alive.. Jay I'm so sorry-" she stops herself, kissing the top of his blood matted head.

That doesn't matter now.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, you're okay sweetheart. Stay awake okay? Okay. Stay awake for me please."

Jason nods, hanging onto her. If he lets go, she'll leave. He'll lose her and he'll be stuck here again. She'll fade away.

It hurts to move, every bone and every limb is on fire. Then she's grabbing him and they're standing up, she's practically half carrying him.  

Mumbles of his name fill the empty asylum wing. Js and Jason's and Jay's pass her lips as if just repeating it is gonna make him alright.

One step, and Jason crumbles. He can't walk, it's a miracle he can feel his legs at all. "I'm not going anywhere," he mutters. 

She doesn't say anything. She knows.

Footsteps in the background. Walking, jogging, running. 

Maniacal laughs and snarls and spit.

Y/N bends her knees and slings him over her shoulder in a fireman's carry, and then she starts running. Down one hallway and then the next, the Arkham Asylum is a maze.

"Jay, side of my mask, the-"

"Comms," he finishes, holding the button to turn it on.

"Bat? Batgirl, do you read me?" The girl whispers, ducking into an alcove.

"I'm here. Did you..?"

"I've got him. Babs, he's alive, Jason's alive, he's breathing-" It feels so good to say, to not just breathe an empty statement. 

Crying comes from the other side of the comms. Barbara composes herself enough to speak, but even then, emotion hangs in her voice. "Let's bring him home then, where are you right now? Dicks outside the Asylum with Bruce, don't worry about the thugs or the cameras, we have it covered."

"I'LL FIND YOU BIRDIE!" 

"The Joker's here," Y/N tells Barbara and the air hangs with a pregnant pause. 

"Okay, Tim's gonna have you turn right, we got his signal."

The woman turns, ducking into the darkness.

"Y/N,." Jason wheezes, hanging onto her shoulders with the strength he could muster. 

"Jason if this is one of, one of your 'if we don't make it out' speeches-"

"Nevermind," he replies, wishing he had the energy and the ability to smile. She does, she smiles for the both of them- even if he can't see it from this angle. 

"God I'm going to make him pay for this. Writhing and screaming and begging for me to end him," she threatens, listening for the next of Barbara’s directions.

She's told to go right and through a door.

There's two sets of footsteps now.

Y/N continues, trying to fill the silence. The Joker won’t track her voice, the alarms are too loud. "That doesn't matter now, I guess. You're alive and I- we thought you were dead and it took so long for me to accept that, and I still don't know how I found you but I did and Jay I'm so proud of you-"

"Hey this doesn't mean you can give me a speech of your own," Jason interrupts, and she cracks another smile. She’s rambling like she always does when she overthinks, and he closes his eyes to imagine that they’re once again on a Gotham skyscraper with a bottle of champagne. Spilling secrets and laughing like they weren’t masked vigilantes with secret identities. 

"I love you Jason, and you're not leaving me again."

"HAHA I LOVE THIS GAME-" The Joker yells. His psychotic grin fills Jason’s vision as the maniac throws open a hatch, jumping down into the room. Jason is dropped to the ground and Y/N has her sword in hand, stepping in between the two men. 

His vision is blurry, he can’t see anything, and the ground is warm. 

He can’t succumb. Jason stands up again, grabbing a pistol from Y/N’s leg and he shoots. The feel of a gun trigger isn’t unfamiliar. 

Yelling fills the room, as does the clash of metal and fists, Jason smiles as the Joker cries out in pain. Another door opens, there’s girlish laughter now, and so many footsteps. He keeps shooting, dropping enemies like a second nature because he was Jason Peter fucking Todd. 

Jason’s ribs get stomped on again and he loses his gun, and metal echoes on the ground as something is dropped. Three gunshots ring through the room. 

No. 

No.

The Joker and the Harlequin keep laughing in glee, and Jason blacks out from crying again. 

x

Cold hands grab his face. The man who laughs is, well, laughing and pulling Jason’s face close to his own. The smell of death fills his senses and Jason opens his eyes. 

"How long do you think it's been, Jason?"

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ stray kids ideal types - series .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

bang chan version ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: i'll be using SIDEREAL astrology on this one. it's also important to say that when we talk about romance in astrology we have to fully analyse the couple's birth charts individualy at first and only then apply compatibility analysis so we're able to check out the synastry overlays.

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread. <3

the basics:

someone who has sun in virgo or in the 5th house;

aquarius and gemini moons are the ideal but aries moon is also great, libra is good, leo and sagittarius moons are a maybe. capricorn and cancer moons are absolutely a no;

venus in virgo, scorpio, cancer or capricorn;

mercury in virgo (or capricorn/taurus).

obviously there's way more aspects to look into to see if a relationship would work but i'd rather not go too deep into it right now.

a person who's patient and honest. he takes his time into getting to know you before he commits. so, when he does commit, there’s no room for him to change his mind. he's worthy of a romance novel. he will make sure that the bond is strong and stable for both.

someone who's good at communicating, reading people's intentions and has a good sense of humour. he tends to use his voice to express himself and he's such a sweet talker when it comes to romance. communication and intellectual rapport are his thing, so it's important for him to have someone who he can talk to. so good at covering it up his intentions or even lying (but you guys didn't hear this from me), except that he tends to tell the truth in almost any and every situation. he loves to tell stories and to see the smile and hear the laugh of the loved one.

a partner who's not afraid of commitment and long term relationships. listen to me, this man is looking for a soulmate connection, someone to pay him due attention. he's a romantic at heart and has a strong need for love in his life, it being his ultimate driving force, a passionate lover and he knows how to maintain the flame of true love. without love he would be nothing.

someone who knows how to talk to people and be pleasant during social situations.

someone who's highly vulnerable and revealing with him, ONLY.

a person who's adventurous. he does not know how to stay still, he wants to expand and has a hedonistic type of approach to how fun should work in a relationship. he can't be more happy then when his able to impress you with his creative side. if you like an intellectual approach to life you will love it as well.

a positive person, someone who's optimistic and make things seem easy.

an intense, bold, strong-willed and powerful person. would love a partner who knows how to stand up for themselves. he wants besides him a person who can make the world kneel in front of them.

someone who will do anything to seduce him.

someone who challenges him (in a good way, ofc). he loves to be dared as he sees it as stimulating, a reason to try even harder, to put even more effort in. he's prop to play mind games (maybe manipulating, even if it's not his intention, since he makes everything sound so wonderful). often fueled by curiosity and a desire to control/possess others for himself *only with those who he actually loves since he sees romance/sex as super meaningful, on a soul level thing, and focus 100% on the person he loves.

emancipated, educated and high intelligent individuals. a pretty face will never be enough, sorry. virgo sun in the 5th house? pfffff this man is a genius.

someone who's younger or appear youthfu/has a youthful personality. he needs a eager-to-learn-and-to-enjoy-life-with-him person. channie's prone to take up the dominant/leading role in a relationship as well. it's like he has this strong pedagogical (?) side to him (and once again my theory that he would be a teacher if he wans't in the entertainment business is proven right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

a person who's not avoidant or keeps to many secrets. if you keep stuff away from him he may misinterpret things quite easily.

a partner who's as clingy as he is. channie does not stand being alone for too long. he needs your warm touch and gentleness.

a freedom-lover type of person, someone who seeks inspiration and fun. he's extremely motivated and light-hearted, very flexible and adaptative.

a person who knows how to encourage him. basically someone who knows his intentions almost better than he does. he has a need for validation and appreciation cus sometimes he fixates on certain ideias but doesn't have what it takes to go further with it.

someone who would enjoy having kids, taking care of them, educating them together, and is family-oriented. he would love to have a partner who's as excited as he is to mentally stimulate his kids. very inclined to having lots of children. he wants someone who has the potential to go all the way to the finish line. man's want commitment.

a person who's charming, "feminine", sensuous and romantic. he's not interested in a person who is crude. he has strong yang energy on his birth chart so it's a good thing if your chart is yin energized. the whole thing about lighting up candles, putting on some romantic music is important to him. may be enticed by a person who has an overly sexual appearance (SPECIALLY if you have scorpio sun or rising), femme fatales (the energy, not necessarily a woman) are just right for him. maybe someone quite mysterious as well.

someone who's painfully monogamy. you can trust him on remaining faithful, as long as his partner do the same. trust is important for him and when it comes to love, it's absolutely essential. if you don't want to lose him forever you shouldn't break his confidence. he rarely has any interest in casual encounters, not being the type to take different people home every night. loyalty is such a turn-on for him, cute. he wants to be only yours, so he expects the same from you, not wanting you to even look at other people. the more committed to him, the deepest his love is.

someone who's not shy. he’s a non-conformist, private person and rather do his own things, away from the public eyes. remember when he said he usually likes "dark things"? man wasn't lying. he knows exactly who he is and what he likes even tho society might shun him for it. however, he does not care. <3

a person who's devoted and dependable, who's also ready to work by his side. someone who knows how to handle his possessiveness and maybe even suspections. just be honest with him and patient enough to put him at ease, assuring him that he's the only one who deserves your attention and love. his jealousy may be really tricky.

okay, this dude has mars and venus conjunct pluto in scorpio. do you guys know what this means? i would DIE to make this man love me!!!!!!!!! help. he will be SOOO OBSESSED WITH THE PERSON HE MARRIES, IT'S INSANE KDISADJADNAUS HELP ME.

[ariesjupiter]

Mitski Birth Chart Reading

This is just my interpretation based on Mitski’s birth chart and what I know of her music. Let me know if you have any suggestions of someone I should make a post on next! If you’re interested, I offer natal chart readings, just check my pinned post!

Libra sun: In terms of basic personality and ego, Mitski is focused on creating balanced, harmonic relationships. Intimate, one-on-one relationships are a major part of her identity. Libra is ruled by venus which represents love and beauty. After all, she is known for her lyrics relating to her romantic relationships. The lyric “I love everybody because I love you” is so profoundly Libra to me. She is friendly and charming. She sees herself reflected and other people and people see themselves reflected in her (for better or worse). Venus also rules the arts and Mitski is a natural artist in every sense of the word. Her music sonically is very unique, inventive, and creative as she experiments with mixing different genres. This is influenced by her sun in the 11th house. Sun in the 11th house also indicates an emphasis on friendships and memberships of certain groups and communities. It also indicates an importance of her hopes and dreams. Her sun in 3° explains why she is such a talented writer, communicator, and lyricist. Peak libra sun culture: “Young adult romance is the shit” (a real quote from the queen herself). And let’s not forget her iconic quote from 2016: “I’m a libra so my sexuality is essentially “you can really be any gender as long as you treat me like a princes.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Capricorn moon: Despite how personal her music is, Mitski is a rather private and reserved person, particularly when it comes to expressing her emotions. Also, Capricorn is associated with the father and she has been known to be especially private regarding her dad’s career. She is serious and intense with emotions but can sometimes get detached. The emphasis is on having control over her feelings. She is ambitious and a practical person. Her emotions are connected to her career. Those who do not know her well may see her as cold. In temperament she tends to be melancholic. Emotionally mature and wise beyond her years. Straightforward and honest with her expression. She is dependable, loyal, hard working, & realistic. Emotional fulfillment is often tied to achievement and success. Her moon in the 2nd house and 2° suggests material comforts make her feel safe. With the 2nd house being associated with venus, she is able to express her emotions in an artistic way. Could be protective over material objects. Sentimental. Music has a big impact on her emotions and mood. Peak capricorn moon culture: “I didn’t really feel anything. I’ve stopped feeling things for a long time” - Mitski, The Fader Interview, 2017. In all seriousness, I hope my capricorn moons are doing good.

Virgo mercury: Mitski is practical and detail oriented when it comes to communication and matters of learning. She takes the time to choose the right words to convey her thoughts. She is clear and concise. Mercury is in its sign of rulership here. Her mercury in the 10th house suggests that she will be known for her communication style. Has a lot of thoughts but is also organized. Analytical. Mitski likes making lists. Loves to give advice. Mercury is in 16° (cancer degree) and she has a soft spoken voice. Talks about the past and her roots (cancerian themes).

Virgo venus: In love, Mitski will assume a caretaking role and will gladly help her partner finish mundane tasks and chores. A devoted and faithful lover. Love is about the mundane and routine details of life. Love is about service. Acts of service tend to be virgo venus’ main love language. She wants to help improve her partner’s life. She is patient and observant. Values love that is simple and authentic. Appreciates a partner with whom she can have intellectual conversations. May have a tendency to be too critical on herself when it comes to love. Venus rules aesthetics & style and she tends to have a modest fashion sense. Mitski has voiced her interest in astrology and how she has asked people she’s interested for their birth times lmao. Her venus is in the 11th house, she treats a lover like she would treat a friend. In fact, romantic love probably equates to platonic love in her book. She has her venus in 24° which is a pisces degree, which explains this natural interest in astrology.

Gemini mars: Could be impatient because she moves quickly. Efficient. Has a lot of goals and likes to keep busy. She thrives when she talks to others and exchanged ideas. Likes to multitask. Very versatile. Probably has a flirty, bubbly energy when she’s attracted to someone. Attracted to intellect. Desire to see things from multiple perspectives. Gemini rules the hands so she’s skilled with playing instruments and writing. Likes to try new things. Witty and humorous. Could have nervous energy or fidget often.

Leo jupiter: The planet of luck and expansion in Leo is a big indicator of fame. Her jupiter is also in the 9th house and in 7°. Jupiter in the 9th indicates being born in a different country from where you reside now. Mitski is biracial and has lived in multiple countries growing up. She loves to learn, particularly about other cultures and ways of life. She is open minded, philosophical and values freedom and being independent. She attracts good fortune when she travels (touring!) and also when she focuses on partnerships/intimate relationships (7°). Combining this energy, Mitski attracts luck when she acts dramatically, demonstrates/teaches her knowledge, expresses herself artistically, shows her warm hearted and sometimes stubborn side, & takes chances, shows her bravery, and takes the lead. Be the Cowboy is big leo energy 🤠

Capricorn saturn: Mitski is responsible, practical, goal-oriented, and cautious. With saturn in the 3rd house, she probably had to grow up quickly and become mature at a young age. Capricorn saturn people tend to be very successful people. Strong willed. Tendency to be quiet and is a good listener. Could also be outspoken. With saturn in 18° (virgo degree), she’s very hard working but she may need to learn how to take a break and let herself rest and recharge.

Capricorn uranus: This placement also indicates that she goes after her goals and is efficient and practical in achieving them. Uranus being in the 2nd house shows that she could make money from being unique and groundbreaking. 2nd house also rules the voice! Her values are unique and she could be resistant to change them. Her self esteem could be in a constant state of flux and be tied to money. Her income could rapidly change, like maybe she did not get paid much but then suddenly she starts making a lot of money. Uranus is in 5° which is a fame degree. She’s famous for being authentically herself and very much an individual in the industry that can’t be compared.

Capricorn neptune: Capricorn neptunes are most likely realists. She is skilled at going after her dreams. Her dreams are practical and connected to themes of wealth, power, and control. Neptune in 3rd house shows a dreamy, poetic way of communicating. A very creative placement. Dreamy vibes. Could be elusive in communication, open for interpretation. Neptune is in 11° so this gives aquarian energy. Idealistic with friends and always searching for ways to achieve her dreams.

Scorpio pluto: Her power lies in her ability to analayze human interactions and be introspective with herself since it’s in the 1st house. She is very self aware. Mitski understands that life is about going through changes and she welcomes the ability to grow and rebuild. She has intense, deep emotions but has control over them and how she expresses them. Pluto in 16° adds a cancerian energy. Her strength lies in her ability to nurture and be empathetic.

Scorpio rising: First impressions of Mitski can be that she’s mysterious and secretive. A powerful and intimidating presence. This explains to me why she loves dressing in black. She probably has a strong dislike for anything superficial. She likes to get to know people on a deeper level and connect with them. She likes honesty and is probably very perceptive and intuitive. Privacy is so important to her! She has a lot of layers and wants people to unpack them, but it may take her a while to open up. She is powerful and has endurance. Her presence leaves an impact on people. Loyalty and intimacy is important. She’s not afraid to talk about taboo topics or scary, heavier emotions. Passionate and even a tendency to get fixed on or obsessed with something or someone. Her rising is in 15° (gemini degree) so she’s clever, curious, and thinks quickly. a little more flexible than a regular Scorpio rising would be.

Leo midheaven: People might see her as dramatic or arrogant. In the public eye, she was meant to be a performer. At her concerts she’s known for putting on a good show & includes interpretive dance and choreography. She becomes herself more when she’s on stage. The stage is where she shines. Has a lot of pride connected to her career. Reputation for creatively expressing herself and being brave and taking risks. Wants to be admired, especially regarding her career. Her purpose is to become a leader. Mc in 22° (capricorn degree) shows that she is a very hard worker when it comes to her career. She won’t let anyone stop her when it comes to achievement and success in her field. Another indicator of being at the top of her career and being publicly recognized for it!

TLDR: Mitski is a natural born singer, performer and artist. She is unique, talented, and an introspective writer. Being earth and water dominant, she balances practicality & stability with sentimentality & raw emotion. With all of her Capricorn placements, she is grounded and doesn’t let fame get to her head. Her chart ruler is Scorpio pluto in the 1st which means that major transformations will be a big theme in her life, especially regarding herself & her identity. She is always reflecting and looking at herself on a deep level.

[karezzasstuff]

From the project of interviewing Stanley S. Bass about his experiences with Karezza techniques, The Life Science Publishing created the 2008 book Energy-Karezza. Here Dr. Bass tells the story of how, in his 30’s, he was on his way to become a celibate yogi through Brahmacharya, when he learned about reaching the same spiritual goal via Karezza & Tantra. He decided to try Karezza instead.

Even though his personal goal was spiritual, Dr. Bass soon discovered that women loved Karezza, and couldn’t get enough. When he started teaching the improved Energy-Karezza method to couples with marital problems, the results were astounding. Usually, within weeks, the couple had fallen in love again. Problematic marriages healed, becoming more and more harmonious and stronger with time.

Over time, over 50+ years, he not only gained experience concerning every aspect of Karezza/Tantra, but also – thanks to his energy-understanding, being an orthopathic doctor – developed an improved, more powerful & easy-to-learn, version. Traditional “Karezza/Tantra” can be difficult for men, but “Energy-Karezza/Tantra” is easy, and also gives more pleasure & prolongation..

INTRODUCING OTHERS TO KAREZZA

Karezza is about one thing, the man has to control himself. It is so easy. I got so good at this control that I soon was able to go almost a whole year with no accidents. With very heavy sex - three times a week, four hours each session. It didn't take long to get to a high level of proficiency.

In a few months I was very good at it already.

It is very simple, it is natural. It is not difficult. Prove it for yourself, don't take my word for it. Try it out. The first time I heard about it, it was strange to me, so I tried it. It didn't take me long to get good at it. It was easier than I thought. In fact, I taught Karezza to a lot of friends, and everyone had success.

If one of them asked me, "how do I know if it will work?", I gave him a simple method of trying it. I usually said, "why don't you first try:

1. Don't have an orgasm quickly, but wait until the woman is finished, until she has had her enjoyment. Practice holding back for half an hour, for an hour, for several hours, if you can.

2. Then you'll see that your own orgasms are better; they are more enjoyable.

3. Also try having an orgasm only every other time you have sex.

Skipping one time. Every other time, try without orgasm. See how you feel."

With my sex students, those were my instructions, to begin with. These instructions summarize basic traditional Karezza. But these simple instructions could still be difficult for some men. They lost control (ejaculated) early, and were never able to do Karezza for a full hour.

Therefore, to make it easier, I gave my students some Energy-Karezza secrets. I asked them to improve their diet, and to avoid alcohol and all drugs. I told them not to eat before sex, because a man can not control himself after he has eaten. Why? Because then too much blood goes to the stomach.

Also, I gave very detailed instructions on the best movements in sex. I told them to move slowly, and explained how to move, so they wouldn't get too excited, e.g. sideways, in semicircles, avoiding the in-out moves.

For the premature ejaculators, I told them to give up salt, and to not use anything spicy hot, avoid hot peppers, stay away from spices, because this throws them out of control. And then I told them to use certain motions, slow motions, that makes it easy to control oneself. That's all.

Then the women will get the pleasure, because the men are controlling themselves.

For some men the pleasure was so overwhelming that they were still unable to control themselves very long, more than perhaps 45 minutes, even if their diet was good and they had high vitality. In these cases I think the solution is just doing it over and over. Sometimes men, just like women, may need saturation with lots of high-pleasure peak orgasms, before they can start with serious self-control and higher-pleasure valley orgasms. It may take months, but in the end they will get there.

I myself was never overly concerned with the clitoris or the G-spot, because the Karezza was so enjoyable and I was so good at it that a woman couldn't hold out long. If they wanted to have an orgasm, they could have it quick. Women enjoyed it.

The women were very happy. After beginning Karezza, it became unnecessary to calculate all this stuff. I never had to actually figure it out.

All I did was to function naturally, the way I felt like, without thinking about it. And it was right, for every woman. If one gets too mechanical about it, one becomes a dud. Then it is not real. Real sex has nothing to do with the brain, it has to do with feelings, true feelings and movement.

That's all. The brain is not needed.

From page 45 the Technique to Paradise.

🍎🐍🏖️

YAB YUM

What are you experiencing?

~ by yab yum

Be patient. At first you can't experience the orgasmic part of this process. Some get it on their first try and for some it can take years. Keep practicing with the exercise your teacher gives you. Even if you don't experience the orgasm, just the breath and energy circling alone is of great value. It will clear blocks so that eventually the orgasm can pass through you. Blocks can be experienced in many ways – crying, gagging, getting frustrated, resurfacing old memories. Just keep breathing. Visualize letting go of the "old" on the exhale, ringing out the "new" on the inhale. Energy levels will most likely rise and fall, like mercury in a thermometer. Tell your partner where it slipped. Your partner will encourage you to tap into your sexual center when energy is slipping. One of the main keys to learning this technique is KNOWING that it is possible.

(When asked if she had an orgasm, Sara responded 🙂

It was uninterrupted, uninterrupted… This was definitely something else, which I have never experienced so fully.

(Sara was then asked if there were any psychological changes.)

Oh yes, sure. From the point of view of spiritual practice it is always full of insight, a kind of insight that comes after, about how I am in ecstasy in my usual state, because it is obvious that the ecstasy is inherent in the body (level), of my being… and also of course this would affect my meditation. I am much more relaxed and receptive physically, emotionally and psychologically when I sit down to meditate…. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but meditation becomes very sexual, very physical, playing with all these hormones. Very often in my meditation there is a stage like deepening where it goes through something like lovemaking in a hormonal sense. I feel the heat and change of energy and so forth, and then it just cools down. That is when deep meditation begins.

It is absolutely blissful in ecstasy because the bliss is something I feel in the body. The ecstasy is something where the body is no longer. Energy goes up. His community. It is love. The transcendent, the energy feeling, transcends even the light that I'm talking about in meditation, and just went into the light.

One tree merges with another tree, the earth merges with the trees, the trees merge with the sky, the sky merges with the unknown...you merge with me, I merge with you...everything merges...differences lost, melting and merging as waves into other waves…an enormous unity vibrating, alive, without limits, without definitions, without distinction…the sage melting into the sinner, the sinner flowing together in the sage…becoming good becoming bad, becoming bad…the night turning into the day, day turning into night… life melts into death, death plunges into life again – then everything has become one.

This has changed my experience with sexuality forever… It has blown up things like this what you have about sex, the good feeling you get from sexual experience or trying to get. It broke that because it was so obviously about submission. It wasn't about me trying to do something. It was about not doing something, but rather receiving or allowing it, rather than doing and creating and making.

This is the most profound healing practice I have ever encountered. It has awakened me to realize that my body is often shut off from the bliss and ecstasy it might be experiencing. Through this practice I have come to learn that emotional pain occurs when orgasmic energy does not flow freely through my body and that there is an infinite flow of orgasmic energy available to me. It has taken me years to gradually release the tension and pain in my body and I still have areas of tension to unblock. The sensations can be different each time depending on my condition, sometimes there is a pulsating vibration and sometimes it feels like some kind of electrical current circulating through my genitals throughout my body. There may be tears of joy. My mind can be perfectly clear and it can seem like everything I feared has been resolved. When a certain area of ​​tension is unblocked and the orgasmic energy circulates, there is always an amazing sense of oneness with the life being awakened.

Mel 40 Auckland

My teacher knew how to touch – and where to make contact – He knew places to touch that I didn't know about – and soon I was on my way to another place in another universe. I was in a trance of breathing and sweat and pleasure that so long and so dead do had gone – that I traveled through light and sound. I never knew that such an experience could be had without actually making love. When I finally climaxed and climaxed and climaxed, I couldn't believe I was having a sexual climax in the presence of someone other than my husband. I felt both excitement and a little embarrassment. Looking back at this moment, I would never have thought that having an orgasm for another man would actually be the "beginning" of this whole journey in Tantra

Emma S 35

Auckland

And this is the joy of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm, because you disappear for a moment. That moment is very small, but its impact is immense. For a moment you are no longer the ego, you do not think in terms of 'I', for a moment you dissolve into the oneness of the all, you become one with the whole, you pulsate with the whole. You are no longer an individual… you are no longer limited to your body. You have no limitations, for a moment you are unlimited, infinite.

That is the meaning of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm – that your frozen energy melts, becoming one with this universe, with the trees and the stars, and the woman and the man, and the rocks – for a single moment, of course. But in THAT moment you have a kind of consciousness that is religious, that is sacred, that is one with all things. – OSHO

Unbelievable! Some are very strong and some are wonderfully subtle. In general, the more time you spend building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You experience “electricity” throughout your body, hands, feet and lips tingle, and there is a sense of letting go and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric and light-headed. It feels very different from a clitoral orgasm (but it can happen at the same time as a clitoral orgasm). You see a seed sprout, flowers appear on a tree somewhere, the birds are singing – the whole phenomenon is sexual. It is life manifesting in many ways. When the bird sings, it is a sexual call, an invitation. When the flower attracts butterflies and bees, it is an invitation, because the bees and butterflies bear the seeds of reproduction. Everything seems to be divided into these two polarities. And life is a rhythm between these two opposites. Repulsion and attraction, coming closer and getting far… these are the rhythms.

Z

[kaisa-ryo]

Itadori Yuji NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

Itadori likes to chat for a long time. Topics for communication are usually very diverse: from listing the different sex positions he wants to try, to discussing brands of cars, televisions, types of soaps and colors of underwear. In parallel, Yuji will stroke your back, causing your body to creep. So the love attraction that you already experienced with him before suddenly takes on a special intensity. When he has a need to receive your affection, he will begin to sink under the covers until he rests his nose against your chest or stomach. By this action, he asks you to play with his hair. At this moment, he may stop talking altogether, because instead of chatting, he will hum with pleasure. In addition, he will try with all his might and in various positions to snuggle up to you with his strong male body. And you will begin with great skill to stroke his hair and gradually increase the pressure in order to induce real ecstasy in him.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Obviously the hips and butt.

It is a blissful feeling when he squeezes your buttocks as he continuously enters you. And in the morning, when you start looking in the mirror, you notice that your thighs are scarlet. As you examine yourself, Itadori in the next room sees your stunned expression in the mirror and smiles proudly.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

He usually ends up on the aforementioned body parts. Although he experiences no less high pleasure when he watches how his hot semen flows down from your vagina. Or the mouth. And if you also swallow his seed, it will completely discourage him. It's so awkward and at the same time arousing when a girl literally lets a part of you into her. It's like you start making it a part of yourself. The part of his soul that passes through your body, moving on to the next stage of orgasm.

D = Dirty secret

To tell you the truth - there are a lot of them. Despite the fact that he almost always speaks with you frankly on intimate topics.

He often thinks about how he will kick you through the school desk and fuck you under the light of the graceful sunset that falls through the half-open blinds.

About how madly tempting it would be if you suck him off somewhere in the closet.

How to fuck you by the sea on soft sand.

There is no limit to these secret desires. Someday he will definitely tell you about all of them. And, of course, it will.

E = Experience

The highest level of experience in intercourse is masturbation. Yes, he has seen a lot of different videos on porn sites and instant messengers. And of course, he remembers them every single one. He has a lot of sexual fantasies. And they are all related to you. But they need to be implemented.

It will also ask you about your experience. For example, can you do a blow job. If you do not know about any sexual arts, he will certainly show you a video, explain how and what to do, ask if you like this objectively.

You can even say that he has much more indirect experience than you. But Yuji likes it. I like to teach you everything that he himself knows from the erotic videos he has watched.

F = Favorite position

In general, you have tried an innumerable number of poses all the time, but none can compare with the one when he presses you into bed from behind. When your penis plunges into the innermost and holds you so tightly that it begins to seem as if it has completely absorbed you.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

In most cases, yes. Even if this is not the first time you have been doing this, this does not mean that intercourse may not go well. But sometimes passionate excitement can outweigh all expressions of seriousness and turn it into entertainment or stress relief.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Not that he regularly tidies them up, but tries to make sure that both of you are comfortable. Maybe he prefers not to show it, but Itadori is really worried that you will be uncomfortable. Although the hair itself does not really interfere.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

Yes. And a lot.

Itadori literally melts when he sees you smile, the reason for which is his sweet and romantic actions. For him, there is no line between "boyfriend" and "spouse". And, of course, he regularly scrolls in his head how you have a large shared apartment, wedding rings, children ...

The guy is ready to even get you the moon from the sky, just to see your charming smile once again, to feel how you jump on his neck and say that you love him with all your heart. Sometimes he gets carried away - and then his hand reaches out to you to stroke your cheek, circle around your neck, say some banality, without which it is difficult for you to live. And sometimes you think that at such moments Itadori... looks a little more naive. But he does not see anything wrong with this and continues to cherish you, like the most priceless treasure on earth.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

It happens. And even after the start of your relationship.

In moments when you are far away, he records your telephone conversation, asks you to throw off your photos, turns on a home video taken once secretly from you ... then he starts "playing with his snake", quietly moaning your name. And if you start writing or talking on the phone, how much you want him now, it will just go crazy, imagining how he is fucking you on the bed right now. After all, it is such a pleasure to realize that your body receives only what you so passionately dream about and what you want.

— Mnh... yes, y/n... please continue...

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

As mentioned earlier — home video. Yuji prefers to do this in secret, since he knows it will embarrass you. And besides, you will immediately guess why he does it.

He also has one fetish that you know about. Namely — voyeurism. When you change clothes, stand in the shower, or try on a swimsuit, he closely monitors your actions while standing outside the door. So he initiates you into his intimate world, where you can become his muse.

In addition, he has several types of perversions that he considers esoteric. For example, he really loves to admire your naked body and inhale its aroma, starting from the neck. This also applies to your personal things — your scent is also felt on them, and Itadori constantly examines and sniffs your things, hoping to feel your scent. It's kind of like a drug for him, and he likes to wake up in the morning and feel that your hair is still felt on his neck. And if you put on his clothes... it seems like some kind of new fetish. Now on his things your next smell. It's fucking exciting...

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

It makes no difference. The place does not depend on the amount of pleasure received from the process. True, you still have to find compromises. Because if it is convenient for him to hold your legs, simultaneously entering your bosom again and again, then it is quite problematic for you to be in the air, holding on to his shoulders. Thus, you get less pleasure. But do not think, he is not a rabbit, to fuck you wherever he wants, the guy will definitely ask if you want it. And yes, he does have a line between "normal" and "too public."

M = Motivation

All your movements are in clothes, which emphasizes the whole aesthetics of your body. As if hypnotized, Itadori watches your curves, how they change when you change posture or movement. When you are in your underwear, you specifically approach him and start to flirt playfully. When you wear his things, as mentioned by the way earlier. And oh shit, how turns him on when you show yourself a new swimsuit and ask to rate.

N = No (Which won't do)

Anything that will harm you. It doesn't matter whether it's big or small. If Yuji feels that he can be rude to you, then he will definitely warn you to tell when it hurts. After all, on the verge of orgasm, he may not notice that you are uncomfortable or unpleasant.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

More is to give. His head is blown away because you are moaning his name sweetly and loudly, demanding more. Your morning kiss and praise for being amazing last night will give him confidence. And then, perhaps, your next night will be even better than the previous one.

Although one should not ignore his desires with needs. The guy will be very upset if, for some reason, you do not give him pleasure with oral sex.

P = Pace

In this he is a real professional Yuji knows perfectly well how to stretch pleasure and orgasm as much as he wants. A small effort of will is enough for him, which he has at least a spoonful.

At first he will start with smooth movements, and then gradually accelerate. At the same time, it will be easy to prolong your pleasure, because you will feel the strongest sexual charge directed in your direction. And with each strong orgasm, you will experience not only physical, but also mental pleasure.

Q = Quickie

From slow and smooth thrusts to wet and hot suddenness, it makes you feel your own intoxication, as if you are high. Superhuman abilities do give good results. As it turned out, not only in sports.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

In other matters, he is unlikely to refuse, since he himself has long wanted this. But Itadori is a responsible person, so he will think a hundred times and make sure that you accept the offer accurately. Do not be surprised that he will act agitated during such sex. He, like you, understands that this risk is serious and can create real problems.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

You should prepare caffeine and energy drinks, as this machine will squeeze everything out of itself, despite the fact that you yourself were exhausted already in the third round. He will not be enough all the time, and if you ever start to black out from fatigue, the guy will scream that he has not finished yet. It even forces you to limit the number of your intercourse per week, as his stamina is exhausting. And you've told him about it more than once.

T = Toys

In this regard, Yuji is more cunning and impudent. He always refuses to have toys for himself, although he himself does not mind tormenting you with a vibrator or even slipping it into your panties, justifying this by the fact that he does this to keep you close, at the same time showing his concern for you, flickering his ghost in your head. But he's not lucky that you're not such a naive fool. Despite this, the guy gets hit on the head, with a very convincing request never to do this again.

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Very much not even against, but not much into it. Over time, it bothers both you and him, and all actions cease to be unpredictable.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

Pretty loud. But in the volume of your moans, you take over.

They start with stifled growls, to groans because of how fucking amazing and sexy you are. And it all ends like a sugary, but trustworthy silence. Your loud moans of pleasure are a sign that you both were good.

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

Once there was a case where Yuji could not come. He felt that he could not come even if he wanted to. His arms and legs seemed to be glued together, and he himself froze. I started to panic, think of reasons in my head. You, in turn, noticed this too, and when you asked what was the matter, Itadori turned pale and speechless. After that, he sat down on the bed, and here you started to worry. It turned out that he had masturbated too much over the past month, which has formed a habit of certain stimulation of the penis. At the news, you laughed, and he blushed. But at the same moment he exhaled with satisfaction. The guy was glad that the reason was not in you and not in his health.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

16 cm. During erection ± 2.5

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

Sex serves him for several purposes: relieving stress, sexual tension, just as a way to prove his love for you... Sometimes the beginning of sexual intercourse depends on his arousal. But for your sake, he's trying his best to hold back. Resorted to masturbation instead of sex, but as you already know, even this has its own problems. Seeing him so depressed, you also do not bypass the mutual concern. Even if you don't really want to do this or you are not in the mood, you will never refuse him. Although you will never let him relax and stop controlling himself. Do not miss the opportunity to talk to him about this, because, of course, he also needs it - to get rid of an inferiority complex and so on...

Overall, ± 8/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Quite surprisingly, even in spite of his endless chatter before going to bed, as soon as he put his head on the pillow and lean on you, he falls asleep instantly. You feel him in your arms like a small hyperactive child who constantly wants to tell you something or, out of habit, make a row. And myself in his arms — protected by a large and strong wall.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #21 | Double Chinn Double (Double) Feature (with Hyapatia Lee)

By the time the '80s rolled around, Bob Chinn, best known for his collaborations with John Holmes (the inspiration for Boogie Nights), had been directing movies for over a decade. For much of that time, he'd been making them for peanuts (in an interview with the Rialto Report, he recounts being once asked to make a movie for five thousand dollars, which was handed to him in fifties on the spot), but in the early '80s, he was directing for Harry Mohney's Caribbean Films, working with respectable budgets (by porn standards). Some of these films starred Hyapatia Lee, one of the most popular porn stars of the era and one of the first contract girls. Now, I suspect these aren't necessarily the defining works of Chinn's career, and I do intend to get to some of his movies with Holmes. But Vinegar Syndrome had a sale and there were two double features of their collaborations going for dirt cheap, and because I am weak and foolish with money, they ended up in my cart and a few weeks later in my grubby little paws. How did this happen? Through the magic of Canada Post, of course! Anyway, what I found was that these didn't represents any extremes of artistic ambition. They were neither seeking to elevate the genre, nor were they hackwork. Rather, they represent a happy medium, movies that seek to deliver the genre's goods in a polished, diverting package. Slick cinematography, courtesy of Jack Remy. Catchy theme songs that wouldn't sound out of place if you caught them on the radio. Flashy titles. Lee recounted the atmosphere on set as one of professionalism and engagement, where everyone present wanted to do as good a job as possible. Chinn claims to have been losing interest in his work at this point, but the results onscreen are the result of confident execution by somebody who had been doing this kind of thing for years and knew how to put the production's resources to good use.

The first one I watched was The Young Like it Hot, where the operators at a phone company worry about being replaced by computers. To keep their jobs, they scheme to go the extra mile in helping their callers. As this is a porno, most of this help is sexual in nature, as when Rosa Lee Kimball stays on the line while an obscene phone caller played by Bill Margold finishes. (In an interview on the DVD, Margold says after shooting his scene, he was invited to record additional dialogue. Being the method actor that he was, he insisted on whipping it out during the recording session despite the lack of cameras.) Sometimes they are informative, as when Bud Lee (real life husband of Hyapatia at the time) explains why the perineum is referred to as taint ("cuz it taint cunt and it taint ass"). But the highlight of their efforts are Shauna Grant's increasingly life threatening home improvement advice to one poor sap played by Joey Silvera. Hyapatia Lee is ostensibly the star, and has a certain charisma, playing the supervisor, but this is really an ensemble piece, and she's joined by more experienced actors like Kay Parker and Eric Edwards. The latter I've occasionally found bland elsewhere, but he has a nice obnoxious quality that serves him well as the villainous manager whose idea it is the automate the operators' jobs. The movie reflects a very real concern (that's very much still an issue in the modern workplace), but overall this is a breezy, affable comedy.

A bit more serious in tone is Sweet Young Foxes, a coming of age story whose dramatic parts are more sensitively realized than I expected. The screenplay was written by Deborah Sullivan, Bob Chinn's wife at the time, and this is a case where a movie definitely benefited from having been written by a woman, and it seems like an earnest effort to capture the anxieties and yearnings of its young women protagonists. Lee moves closer to a real starring role, and is joined by Cara Lott and Cindy Carver as her friends, who aren't quite as strong actors as her but do have decent chemistry. I can believe they're friends even if their line delivery can be stilted. (That the movie has a good ear for genuine sounding dialogue also helps.) Kay Parker is especially good as Lee's mother, hitting some of the same notes as Taboo, and has a credibly emotional masturbation scene in front of a mirror that did not leave me unmoved. (In what way? That's none of your damn business.) This was shot by Jack Remy, the same cinematographer who worked on The Young Like it Hot. That movie looked nice and slick, but this one is a little more stylish, with the solo sex scenes in particular resembling magazine centerfolds. There's also some nice new-wave-ish music that shows up on the soundtrack, which I certainly didn't mind. I do wish some of the sex scenes didn't run quite as long (the previous movie kept them refreshingly concise) as I'd prefer more of the runtime was dedicated to the dramatic elements, but what's there is still good.

Body Girls goes back firmly to comedy territory, where Hyapatia Lee and the members of her gym are trying to win a bodybuilding contest despite a rival gym's attempts to undermine them. This comes in the form of a pair of schlubs in yellow tank tops who break into the gym after hours to sabotage their equipment, only to be foiled by Hyapatia and her girls who just happened to be having sex in the locker room as people do. Of course, despite Lee's attempts to teach them a lesson (which depending on your proclivities, may have the opposite effect), they don't give up, and during the contest threaten the judge at gunpoint. Not one to take things lying down (okay, poor choice of words here), Lee finds a way to influence the judge back in her favour. (The judge is played by Francois Papillon, bringing a dopey charm to the character as he fumbles through his lines in his French accent.) Her method is pretty ridiculous and certainly in service of genre requirements, but I did laugh.

Now, there's probably a dilemma in audience sympathy here as both Lee and her rivals are cheating, but Lee's methods are more agreeable and directed at the judge instead of her rivals so I guess we ought to root for her. She's also buoyant, charismatic and has a real star quality, and is joined by such fan favourites as Shanna McCullough and Erica Boyer, all of whom sport wildly different hairstyles. As can be expected given the exercise theme, most of the ladies have toned, athletic bodies (and given the decade, voluminous coiffures), with the exception of Tigr, who brings a wiry punkish energy that stood out to me despite her limited screentime, and she also performs the miraculous feat of making a mullet look cute. (I'd previously been moved by her work in Kamikaze Hearts, the great mockumentary about a porn production and her relationship with Sharon Mitchell. She didn't stay in the industry for too long, but I'd be interested in seeing more of her work.) The screenplay was written by Lee with her husband Bud (who plays the judge's assistant with an agreeable presence that's neither too alpha nor too schlubby) and is full of exercise-related dialogue. Most of this is pretty clunky and calling it wordplay might be a bit generous ("sexercise" features at one point), but I did appreciate the effort. Also as is requisite for the premise, the longest set piece in the movie is an orgy in Lee's gym with the various participants snaked around different pieces of equipment. I must note that one of the male actors resembles Barry Gibb and that Francois Papillon is shown to wear a tiger-striped speedo. Did I enjoy the movie? Yes, but not for reasons cited in that sentence.

At the end of Body Girls, Bud Lee suggests to Hyapatia, "Let's get physical", which is the title of the next movie. (Body Girls also features a character looking at dirty magazine with stills from Sweet Young Foxes and ends with a plug for some of these other movies, anticipating the MCU's narrative and marketing strategies by a few decades.) Now, all of these movies have had decent theme songs, but the one in Let's Get Physical has lyrics that are plagiaristically close to those of Olivia Newton-John's 1983 hit. (The delivery however is more shrill but not unpleasing.) This movie is a drama where Lee plays a dance instructor trying to put together a ballet performance despite her strained relationship with her impotent husband played by Paul Thomas. (In the interview I listened to, Lee speaks well of almost everyone she worked with on these films, with the pointed exception of Paul Thomas. If there was bitterness behind the scenes, it arguably helps their performances.)

Lee wrote the screenplay for this one, and unlike Body Girls with its surface level references to bodybuilding and exercise, the dialogue here feels packed with knowledge of the real thing, which is understandable given Lee's real life interest in dance going back to her childhood. (I looked up "Luigi jazz dancing" after finishing the movie and was pleasantly surprised to learn it was a real thing.) This movie goes all in on her star power, and features a number of dance numbers that seem genuinely interested in the form rather than just leering at the performers. (There is one scene where the song Lee dances to sounds suspiciously like "Beat It".) I did appreciate that the sex scenes were kept relatively concise and tied into the dramatic aspects, although in some cases, the choices made could be goofy, like the scene where Lee makes love to her student Shanna McCullough while Thomas, in a dramatically justified but still awkward gesture, watches from another room and jacks off. (I assume he's playing the audience in this scene. Also, McCullough's character remarks "I've never done this before" when going down on Lee, and yeah, okay Shanna.) Other highlights include a car stunt that may or may not have been lifted from elsewhere but still looks decently executed, as well as a dream sequence where Thomas (or his character at least) plays the piano and sings a song. This is held back a bit by the genre's demands, like when it places a completely superfluous sex scene at the end after Lee's reconciliation with Thomas, but on the whole this is probably the best one of the lot.

[illfoandillfie]

Don’t Talk To Me About Love

Day number 4 of the Platonically themed event! This is another idea thats sort of been bouncing around my head since I posted Platonically. In the months since then I’ve started and stopped this blurb about 60 times - at one point I intended it as a sequel but then ended up absorbing part of the plot into PNDDAOF. But here we are. It is somewhat complete and I’m much happier with it now then I was before. 

Yet again, this blurb is inspired by a song - Don’t Talk To Me About Love by Altered Images (less the lyrics and more just the title but it’s a bop so like check it out anyway lmao) 

Words: 2,150

Warnings: It’s about the Communication. There’s talk of an argument but nothing specific and honestly this is mostly just about the two of them Dealing with something out of the ordinary. 

Every morning with Ben follows the same pattern. No matter who wakes first, no matter how long it takes you to get out of bed, Ben will greet you with a kiss on the cheek. It’s a litmus test of your disposition and a lesson hard learnt. Most days you’ll lean into him, wrap your arms around him, press your lips to his, snuggle back into his embrace, and he knows that it means you’ll be okay with the actions that convince others you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. But every so often it’s different. Those days, what he has come to call your no romo days, his cheek kiss will be returned but you’ll pull back before he can sweep you into something deeper, a sign that you don’t have the patience or energy or whatever it usually takes, to deal with romance. Those days are few and far between, mostly occurring months apart, seemingly at random. But because of that it took quite some time before you got the hang of dealing with them as partners. On your own it had been easier to avoid romantic expressions, but with Ben it was harder to manage.  

The first time it happened after you’d started the QPR, you tried to push through, tried to ignore the tension you felt as he unexpectedly kissed you, his hands pulling you into him. There was a sudden urge to run away, your blood running cold, and Ben must have sensed that something was off. He was always observant where you were concerned. When he asked if something was wrong you pretended there wasn’t but he kept badgering you until you told him what was up. Unfortunately you sort of bit his head off, frustrated by the constant questions. You immediately regretted your tone and choice of words but the damage was done, Ben’s expression one of hurt and confusion. Before you could try to explain better he’d left the room. He gave you space for the rest of the day, barely crossing your path at all, but it was too much space, an overcorrection. And that made you mad more than anything else. After all you’d warned him that this happened sometimes, that you had days where you were repulsed by the thought of anything romantic, completely turned off by actions that could be read as such. How dare he be hurt by it, as if you were an inconvenience he had to endure. He was the one who suggested you do the QPR thing in the first place, why did he suddenly think it only included the times you were acting closest to a regular girlfriend. At that point you hadn’t yet moved into his house so you left and slept in your own bed that night, sick with worry that you’d ruined everything with Ben, that you’d wake up in the morning to find not only your QPR broken but that your best friend wouldn’t want anything more to do with you at all. You felt stupid to have thought that a QPR could work, that you could ever fit anywhere. Clearly you were meant to be alone.  

But the next morning brought rational thought and rational conversation as well as a higher tolerance for romance. Ben called to make sure you were okay, confessing to a fairly sleepless night spent worrying if you'd got home safe and feeling bad about how you’d left. But you could hear his smile when you invited him over to talk about it, could practically see it in your mind’s eye. And then you saw it for real, a proper grin, when you’d opened the door and dove into his arms, burying your face in his shirt. He’d squeezed you tight, relieved that things between you were still good. It took a serious conversation to sort out what had gone wrong. You tried to better explain what it was you felt - the queasy feeling at the idea of being involved in any sort of romantic act and the discomfort when confronted with romantic imagery or depictions of romance and romantic couples – reassuring Ben that it wasn’t anything he’d done, and he apologised for giving you the cold shoulder, admitting his distance had been because he wasn’t sure how to act around you. Talking it out helped and when you were done, both feeling like you better understood what would help the situation, you curled up in bed together to catch up on the sleep you’d missed.  

The next time, nearly six months later, you’d been better prepared and, though it was still a little rocky, it had gone smoother. Ben didn’t try to avoid you, so you didn’t feel as abandoned as you had the last time, but you made sure to maintain some distance from him, knowing his feelings were different to yours and not wanting to put him in any awkward situations. There were moments when neither of you knew what to do or say, moments when it felt like you were both treading on eggshells to try and avoid a repeat of the last time. But when you asked to take a break from the TV series you were halfway through because the romance plotline didn’t hold the same enjoyment it usually did, he seemed to understand and agreed to what you needed. The time after that had been barely a month later, far sooner than you were expecting. You supposed that your relationship with Ben was having an impact. After all it had been a while since you’d last been in a romantic relationship and though what you and Ben had wasn’t that, it did cross some of the same lines. Surely it was natural that your mind would try to balance things out by making you feel unequipped to deal with romantic subplots and sentimental love songs more often than before. Or at least that’s how to tried to explain it to Ben when he made a huffy comment about the increasing frequency of your romance repulsed days. If it hadn’t been for an interrupting phone call from his mum, you might have fallen into another fight. Instead, you spent the time he was on the phone thinking about why things felt so hard, trying to come up with possible solutions. You went over some activities in your head, comparing how you usually felt about them and what you felt when you were romance repulsed. Cheek kisses still felt okay because they were generally a way you showed affection to everyone you knew, but being kissed on the lips seemed to cross a line, no matter how it was done. Cuddling too could be okay depending on the context but you’d probably prefer not to just to be safe. Sex on the other hand was a big question mark You’d never tried having sex on a no romo day before, but you assumed if emphasis was put on the physical pleasure it could work, though maybe positions that didn’t force eye contact would be more enjoyable. But perhaps that was better left to be explored when you were both more comfortable with the situation. Even dinners out together and datey things like that could be doable if you didn’t have to deal with candlelight and intimate seating.  

As soon as Ben was finished on the phone you tried to explain your thought process to him.   “The way I think about it is like...regularly I have a mental picture of what actions I feel are platonic and what actions cross into romance. Sometimes those lines aren’t super clear like with kissing, but I know which it is when I see it or experience it.” “Right, like how you don’t mind spooning in bed and getting really close but on the couch you prefer to rest your head on my lap or whatever.” “Yes, exactly. It might all be considered variations on cuddling but to me there's a big difference in how they feel. Well a no romo day is like if you took all of those distinct lines and moved them over a little. The lines are still there but the image is distorted and not quite what I’m used to seeing.” “Okay,” he stretched the word out thoughtfully, “so...it’s not that everything feels romantic it’s just that your tolerance levels have changed?” “Yeah, I think so. It’s not easy for me to understand either. Especially since sometimes things change more than others. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. But my big question is what do you need? I don’t want this to become a big problem or cause fights every time it happens so, what’s going to help make it feel more normal for you?” Ben thought for a moment, “Physical contact. I don’t mean that in a sexual way either, just physical contact. I mean you know how touchy I can be. It grounds me. Even just a hug or, y’know, rubbing my back as you walk past me, things like that. A high five even. If we’re out with the others it’s not so bad cause they all know what I’m like too and none of them will mind if I lean on their shoulder or sit on their lap or whatever. But when it’s just us...I need that physical contact to feel settled and I guess it’s been harder to feel okay about it when you flinch away from me. Makes me feel wrong just because I want to be close to you.” You were a little stunned by the honest and carefully considered way he responded to your question, and felt a little bad about trying to force space between you, “I knew you liked that sort of thing but I guess I didn’t realise how important it is for you.” Ben shrugged, “Normally it’s something I don’t even think about. But with you lately it’s like I just haven’t known what to do.”He paused, biting the corner of his thumb nail as he thought, “I don’t think the way I love you is entirely platonic anymore. I mean it hasn’t been entirely platonic for a while now but those feelings aren’t going away. And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad or anything, it’s just how it is, and I think it’s part of why I’ve been so weird or whatever about this whole romance repulsion thing.” “Yeah it must be kinda hard to understand what I mean,” “I’m trying to understand it and I’m trying to be respectful. But you gotta give me a little more. And you have to be more understanding of where I’m coming from too.”

After that, you both made adjustments to accommodate the other and talked through what solutions worked and what didn’t. Ben spent some time consulting google for ideas and found you a playlist of songs that had aromantic vibes or at least could be reinterpreted so the romantic meaning was more relatable for you. And you made more of an effort to keep up a physical closeness with him – sitting shoulder to shoulder as you watched TV and shared a bag of microwave popcorn, rubbing your hand over his back as you stepped behind him in the kitchen, surprising him by placing a cold hand to his face or stomach when he wasn’t expecting it – even on regular days when you didn’t hate the way it felt to be held by him. You figured that emphasising those sorts of small physical gestures would help both of you in the long run. Every so often something would arise that needed a little extra discussion but you both took them in your stride and did your best to be accommodating and patient.  

And by the next time a no romo day occurred, things were as close to perfect as you could hope for. You wriggled out from under Ben’s arm when you woke, better able to recognise the sick feeling  creeping up on you. Stepping out of bed you switched Ben’s oversized sweatshirt for one of your own and tiptoed down to the kitchen putting your anti-romantic playlist on softly as you made coffee and toast. When Ben eventually surfaced he pressed his lips to your cheek but he already felt you wouldn’t want anything more than that, putting together the pieces and proved right as you gave a small shake of your head. He gave your waist a brief squeeze in acknowledgement before turning toward the fridge to begin his own morning routine. And just like that you knew things would be okay. You couldn’t say you knew what he felt or that you entirely understood it but, yet again, Ben had shown that his love for you was less about Love and more about you. And you hoped he could see that you cared for him just as strongly, even if you felt it differently.