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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

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I came back for you

Word count: 2123

Genre: Angst but happy end

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader

Warnings: Abusive prison/government (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: Hey, so this is kind of a weird request, but could you do a Nattie x Powered! Reader during Civil War, where Nat, of course, is on Tony's team, and the Reader is trying to keep the peace between the two teams. Maybe the government takes (Y/n) and puts her in a shock collar like Wanda's because they think she was on Steve's team? Sorry this is so weird . . .

Summary: You are neutral in the fight, or so you think before you are told you can't be and are taken away with the rest of Cap's team.

A/n: Thanks @thewidowsghost for requesting this! Honestly I didn't plan on writing anything or posting anything today but I saw that I had a little bit of this done and to be honest my day has sucked so I needed a distraction and this worked perfectly. Also I could someone tell me how the formatting looks? I'm trying the new beta editor and I think I'm doing things right but idk. Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

As you take in the scene that surrounds you you can’t believe that you once considered everybody to be a big weird family. Certainly none of them are acting like it now. It breaks your heart to see them on opposite sides, throwing themselves at each other because apparently their personal beliefs are more important than their friends.

Neither of them are right or wrong in your opinion. There’s too many factors and both options suck, it’s the government’s fault for placing the team in this situation. However you are not happy with the way anyone is handling it, especially Steve, Tony and Natasha. Both Tony and Steve are acting based on what they think is right without considering the other sides to the story, although you can’t say that’s surprising coming from them. You do know that they genuinely do care for others but they can be very hard headed and neither of them like to be wrong.

It’s Natasha who you’re most disappointed in though, you thought that she would be a better negotiation, helping ease the tension but she’s out there fighting like the rest of the idiots. You thought that she would agree with you and try to bring together the two sides.

You narrow your eyes and zoom in your vision to the far side of the airport where you see Spiderman. You have no idea who he is but you can tell just by looking at him that he’s only a kid and it was irresponsible of everyone to let him be here and to fight him. You use your superspeed to get to him quickly and take him out of the way of flying cars and leave him by the side where it should be relatively safe.

“Stay here.” you tell him.

“But-”

You glare. “Stay here.”

You rush off before you can make sure he listens because you can hear a grunt of pain from Rhodney. He’s lying on the ground with Tony standing over him and Sam a few meters back. The fight seems to be ending now, you see the plane leaving and the rest of the avengers start to gather but it doesn’t matter because the damage is already done. You don’t know exactly what happened but it looks like a freak accident, somehow nobody’s fault and yet everybody’s fault for getting into this situation in the first place.

The mood is weird, as if everybody is holding their breath and taking in what they’ve done. In the background you can hear trucks pulling up and footsteps follow soon after. The first man grabs Wanda and she blasts him back lightly so he falls down. Immediately a circle forms around her, everyone pointing their guns. Clint takes a step in, raising his arms and trying to calm the situation down but the guns shift to him and one agent steps forward and roughly grabs him, forcing his wrists into cuffs.

They go for Sam next and he looks pissed but lets them cuff him without comment. Scott looks completely confused and out of his depth. You don’t know him but it’s obvious that he is not trained for these types of situations and is in over his head.

It’s Wanda that makes your heart break the most though. She’s like a little sister to you so seeing the tears in her eyes and the terror on her face as the agents move in to cuff her makes you want to wrap your arms around her and promise it will all be okay. But you can’t, that would be a lie because everything is not okay and trying to hug her would only make things worse.

The agents start to move away, leading Cap's team to their trucks to be taken away. One of them turns back and notices you, murmuring something to the agents beside them. Before you can even understand what is happening they are right back and grabbing at your arms roughly. Naturally you try to pull away but they are strong and once you realize what is happening you stop struggling.

“I didn’t pick a side,” you try to explain, “I was just trying to make sure everyone was okay.”

“You didn’t sign the accords and therefore have no right to be here.” one of the men tells you. You look towards Tony’s team for help but they all seem to be busy. Tony and Vision are trying to make sure Rhodney is okay and the kid is luckily back where you left him. T’challa is shaking hands with one of the agents and although it makes you sick because of the way they are treating some of the others you understand, he does have a country to run and his people must come first after all.

Natasha is the only one not doing anything and she meets your eyes. You silently beg her to do something, anything against what is happening. She stares you straight in the eye and shakes her head. You actually shiver at how cold her look is because you never thought that would be directed at you, you thought that the two of you were close.

“I’m not going to help you Y/n, you made your own choice and I made mine.” Is all she says before turning away. You watch her back as long as you can as you are led into the trucks, wondering how everything went wrong so quickly.

---

Nobody talks. You aren’t even sure if you’re allowed to. There is no way what they are doing is legal but who is going to argue with the government. A secret prison built just for enhanced individuals and imprisoning people without trial isn’t right. You were neutral before but the more you see of how the government operates the more you start to lean towards supporting Steve and the rest of his “team”.

You shift slightly because the shock collar is getting even more uncomfortable. Wanda is wearing one too, probably since the two of you are the only ones that have powers unrelated to technology and suits. She looks smaller than ever in her cell and you close your eyes because if you continue to look at her you know you’ll end up crying.

Nothing changes throughout the day until you hear the door creak open. Everyone glares when they see it’s Tony and he and Clint share a few words before Tony practically begs Sam for information. Sam’s reluctant but gives in, seeing that Tony is sincere and knowing that although he disagrees with Tony it’s not really his fault that you’re all here, it’s the government’s.

When Tony leaves things go silent again for a few hours. You haven’t been fed since you’ve gotten here, you realize, but you aren’t hungry anyways, your mind can’t stop picturing the fight, being arrested and most of all Natasha’s attitude towards you. It hurts even more than you would like to admit. You considered her your best friend but you also had feelings for her and you were dumb enough to think that just maybe she felt the same things about you. Obviously that is completely untrue and you wonder if even your friendship was a lie.

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here for?” Wanda asks finally and although her voice is quiet you wince at how it breaks the silence.

“I don’t know kid.” Clint responds. “Too long. My wife is going to kill me and my kids-”

He stops himself, getting a little choked up which surprises you. You’ve never seen him this emotional before.

“I already miss my daughter.” Scott adds on and there is a moment of understanding that passes between the two of them.

“I don’t have my own family but I’m going to miss my sister.” Sam says. “She probably won’t even find out what’s happening until it’s on the news, if the news even covers it.”

“I miss the team.” you add. “Before this fight, we weren’t perfect but I considered everyone family.”

“So did I.” Wanda says and you all take a moment to miss what used to be.

“I miss pizza.” Sam jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It works and soon everyone is adding on ridiculous things they miss and things they want to do when you get out (you can’t even think about the fact that the “when” might actually be “if”).

Your eyes snap to the door when it opens and everyone shuts up immediately. You look warily at Natasha, unsure of why she’s here. Maybe the government sent her in to interrogate, god knows she is amazing at that and you honestly wouldn’t be able to not talk to her, as much as you’re mad at her right now.

She doesn’t speak, going straight towards Sam’s door and kneeling down, fiddling with the lock. After a few seconds it clicks and the door swings open.

“When did you switch sides?” He asks, raising his eyebrows, impressed.

“I don’t pick sides, I do what makes the most sense and right now breaking you out is the right thing to do. Besides I’m wanted now too, apparently the government doesn’t like it when you aid fugitives in escaping.” she responds smoothly, moving onto Wanda’s cell and repeating her actions until it opens.

“Do you know how to take the collar off?” she asks and Sam nods. He gets to work while Natasha moves on. Both Clint and Scott pass at her offer of freeing them. They both look like they’re itching to escape but you respect that they’re putting their families first.

You’re surprised by how emotional you get when she unlocks your cell. You thought she didn’t care about you so to have her here now is amazing and makes you feel bad you ever doubted that she would do the right thing.

“Y/n, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” she tells you as she undoes your shock collar carefully, doing her best to not hurt you.

“I-I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.” you admit, a single tear dripping down your face.

She wipes it away with her thumb. “Oh sweetheart I care about you so much, more than you could ever know and I want you to always remember that, promise me.”

You nod, sniffing. “I promise Tasha.”

“Good because I came back for you and I will always come back for you.” she says, leaning in closer. You look down at her lips as she continues to lean in because she is so close and it seems like she’s going to kiss you.

“Glad to know Y/n was the only reason you came back.” Sam says, smirking. You love him but you also want to strangle him right now, that bastard could totally see what was happening and ruined the moment on purpose.

Natasha flips him the finger but otherwise ignores him. “Steve and Bucky are waiting in the jet outside, I was able to dismantle alarms and cameras but we only have a few minutes left so follow me and be quiet.”

She grabs your hand as she moves out of your cell and you walk with her, the others trailing behind slightly. The halls are clear and it’s only a few turns before she ushers everyone into a vent. It’s a tight squeeze but you make it through and you pop out to find sturdy wires attached to the side of the raft coming from a nearby jet. Wanda and Sam each take one and their wires retract, pulling them into the jet. You gulp nervously, heights are definitely not one of your favourite things.

“We have to go Y/n.” Natasha whispers just as alarms start to sound, the noises loud with flashing lights.

You take a deep breath and grab the remaining wire and once you’re secure Natasha grabs it too. Closing your eyes tightly so you don’t look down you feel a strange whooshing sensation before it disappears and your feet touch down on the jet floor.

“So what next?” Sam asks once you’ve all collected yourselves, directing his question at Steve.

“We lie low and try to help as best we can.” he responds, sighing heavily. “We’ll figure out the details as we go, what matters is that everybody is safe.”

Natasha holds your hand again and squeezes it tightly. “And that we are together.” she whispers into your ear so only you hear.

You squeeze her hand tightly back. Your relationship with her has gone through a rollercoaster of a day and is mostly undefined but she’s right, all that matters is that you’re together now and you wouldn’t rather be with anyone else.

---

Taglist: @fayhar @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @acertainredhead @madamevirgo @megaqueenmaeve @cherryblossomskye @aaron-despair @chickenhavewisdom @emril-osvigne @nyankitty987 @agathaharkness-simp @thewidowsghost @nyx-aira @stephanieromanoff @satxnsupreme @likefirenrain @wlwlovesreading @stop-drop-and-drumroll @peggycarter-steverogers @casperlikej @redswing @mochamoff @king-star @blackbat2020

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel fanfiction #x reader

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simplyclockwork · 3 years

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Hi, there, friend! I'm a fellow Johnlock fanfic writer, though quite new at it, and I have a couple of questions (literally): (1) How do I find prompts? (sorry if that's kind of silly) and (2) How do I find a beta reader? That last one is particularly important, since I'm not an English native speaker and I have such a haaard time editing my writing, which prevents me from writing longer pieces. Thank you so much in advance, and I hope you're doing really well! ❤❤❤

Hey! sorry for the slow reply. I've been unwell the last few days. Thank you for reaching out :)

First off, I wanted to say welcome to the fanfic world and that it can be awesome, and also don't let people get you down. Most readers are lovely and so supportive, but there will always be a few people who try to ruin it for us all. Better to ignore them and move on because fanfic is, at the end of the day, for you, not anyone else. Write what you want, what you love, what makes you happy, and to heck with anyone who gives you a hard time.

Now, for your questions.

1. Not a silly question at all! In terms of finding prompts, there are a few ways to find them. You can search on Google or Tumblr for prompts (make sure you credit where you got them from!). Here are some options where you can put in the character names and generate a prompt here. There are also quite a few Tumblrs that post only writing prompts, which you can find by searching prompts on Tumblr, and are definitely worth checking out. You can also ask people to send them to you or reblog lists of prompts that people can choose for you.

2. To find a beta, you could make a Tumblr post asking if anyone is interested. Or, if you know of someone who does beta work, you could send them a message and see if they have any time or availability for it. I often do beta work with other fandom friends, and we read and edit for one another, though I do also have someone who offered their services as a beta to me via Twitter who has helped with some of my latest stories. Twitter is also an excellent place to look for betas and other writers. The fandom group there isn't huge, but I find Twitter a lot easier for engaging with other fandom peeps than Tumblr.

If you're not able to find a beta, you can access editing software. I use Grammarly for my works because sometimes I mess up my grammar. Grammarly is pretty good, and even the free version is quite helpful. If you can afford the premium version, I highly recommend it. Hemingway Editor can also be useful, and it is free, though I find the edits can be restrictive.

Ultimately, I would say to be kind to yourself and your writing, especially if you're just starting. Many writers in the fandom speak first languages that aren't English, and they write wonderful stories. If you have a story you want to write, don't worry so much about the spelling and grammar, worry more about the story itself. I've seen some people state that English isn't their first language in their author's notes, and I think that's a personal choice if you feel you want to do the same. But I wouldn't say there's any pressure. Also, many people in the fandom speak and read multiple languages, so you don't necessarily have to write in English if you find you don't want to.

I hope that was helpful, and thank you again for reaching out! Please feel free to message me or send an ask anytime. I'd love to connect as one writer to another :)

#writing #fanfic #ask #beta #fandom #sherlock #johnlock #advice

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iamrealbuilder · 4 years

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Shawn Swift interview, part 2

You can find Part 1 of the interview here:

https://iamrealbuilder.tumblr.com/post/635493519657730048/shawn-swift-interview-part-1

Interview part 2, November 2020:

Corentin : You've previously stated that you stopped working with Sunstorm before Caribbean Life. Do you know why you're credited for it?

Shawn Swift : I left Sunstorm shortly after work on Life's a Beach began. So I'd probably provided them with some ideas, though I can't recall any I might have been responsible for. I'd also begun work on a map which if I recall correctly, was to feature some kind of caribbean jail or fort. I don't know if that ever made it into the final game as I never played it, but I didn't get very far on that map. I think I'd only made one cell at that point.

C: I'm wondering if perhaps some small constructions of yours were used within Caribbean maps. For instance I believe that this truck of yours from Final Destination was re-used by Robert Travis in DC (or was it the contrary?) [editor note: Final Destination is a map from Xtreme, another DN3D add-on by Sunstorm]

S: Robert and I collaborated on the submarine base if I remember correctly. He focused on the interior of the sub, while I built parts of the base, and he finished it up. So yeah, I probably started with with that truck, re-using it and the spritework from my previous map. […] aside from my re-use of that truck, I don’t know of any re-purposing of old maps which took place.

C: So you can confirm that most if not all of the maps in Xtreme were made before DC? Making of Xtreme a compilation of older maps, for the most part (if not the entirety of it?)

S: My memory is a bit muddled here. It's possible I made the truck for DC and then ported it to Xtreme, or vice versa. I know DC was the first game we worked on, with Robert and I working out of our apartments, before Sunstorm had offices. However, I also recall that we finished DC in the new Sunstorm office, because that's where I created the ending, and Robert combined the two floors of the submarine into one. But I also recall working on levels for Duke Extreme at home.

So here's what I think happened... When I first started working at Sunstorm, I was hired as a texture and sprite artist for DC. I did all of the new sprites and textures for DC, and I made the new weapons for Extreme. But at some point, I switched from being an artist to a level designer, and I began work on Extreme from home. But Robert was still working on DC from home. I believe I made all of the maps I made for Extreme in a few days out of my apartment, then we moved into the new offices, and there I think I must have worked on the submarine base, so I probably took the subway from Xtreme and used that as a starting point for the DC map, or I simply recreated my work on the truck.

Then we released DC, and Xtreme I believe was released later, with many of the maps being created by contract workers we never met. And while they worked on those, and Charlie? worked from home on the scripting, and Robert and I began work on Cryptic Passage.

C: Speaking of Xtreme, the (excellent) DM map Library has no sig and its author is unknown. Do you know who made it? You may be able to confirm whether or not it's yours at least?

S: It's not mine, and I don't know who made it. I don't know the names of any of the contractors they used for Xtreme. I think there were five people outside the company he was hiring to make those levels? Not sure.

C: The one thing that doesn't look like you in the Brown Water control room however is the pillar in the middle, which is VERY reminiscent of the RT's pillars from another Xtreme map, Dirge.

S: Yeah, Robert added some stuff to the start of Brown Water I believe. Oh, and another bit of trivia for you... I don't know if this is still in the beta map or not, but in the Pentagon, there's a hallway that ends where it's collapsed, and I believe you can see through a hole there to the rest of the hallway beyond. At one point I had hidden my signature in there, but Tony made me remove it for some reason. Robert was much more clever about hiding his signatures in his levels. I believe in the White House there was one secret room hidden in the bottom of an elevator shaft?

C: Was there plans to make the Pentagon more fleshed out than it indeed up being?

S: Nothing was really planned, per se. We were given almost complete freedom to build whatever we wanted, aside from the general theme of this is the pentagon level, and Duke will get there via the sewers. Now, did I personally plan to build out more of the Pentagon? Absolutely. But I ran out of time, and I didn't have any idea what the pentagon actually looked like inside, so I assumed it was just long halls with offices to either side, and that wouldn't make for a very good level, so I didn't build out more than that single office and a bathroom. I couldn't tell you what possessed me to have the exit be at the bottom of a fountain in the middle. If I'm not mistaken though the sub base comes after that level right? Maybe I figured all drains lead to the ocean... :D

C: Thanks again to take the time to answer and for the explanations on the development of DC and Xtreme and other things. I'm not sure that anyone knows you made the new weapons for Xtreme either, there are very little known credits for it.

S: Yep, I made those, They were probably some of the last art I made for Sunstorm. After that they hired on another artist and I went full time level design.

The PSD said it was last modified Monday, ‎September ‎29, ‎1997, but that's not the original file.

[Editor note: this bat never made it into the add-on. Shawn wasn’t able to remember what the plan was for it]

External links:

Duke4 blog megathread:

https://forums.duke4.net/topic/11471-blog-interviews-of-build-engine-video-games-developers/

Duke4 forum thread, discussion on whether or not Shawn’s cell made it to the final version of Caribbean Life. I decided not to include further info on this subject not to confuse people further.

https://forums.duke4.net/topic/9418-duke-caribbean-multiplayer-levels/

Thanks again to Shawn Swift for answering my questions and sharing these files!

#build #build-engine #build engine #blood #duke nukem 3D #duke nukem #cryptic passage #duke it out in dc #Xtreme #video games

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alloveroliver · 4 years

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Author Interview

I was tagged by @peacheat and @dear-mrs-otome THANK YOU GUYS!!! (I also added more Qs if you want to answer those as well *sweats*)

Name: Ash Knight

Fandoms: Now: MLQC, Ikemen Revolution, Ikemen Vampire, Ikemen Sengoku, Mystic Messenger, annnnnd one or two other otomes I like lol. Want to do in the future: Obey Me (Currently playing) Ikemen Genjiden (translating got to be too much but its GOOD!) Tokyo Debunkers (when it comes out in April!!!)

Where You Post: Mostly Tumblr but also Ao3!

Most Popular One-Shot: By far Victor x MC “In This Moment.” I’m glad cuz I spent a lot of time on this one and I love the concept of Victor stopping time because he know’s he’s going to miss MC <3

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Mmm, I don’t have any muli fics yet BUT I do have 10 chapters of my blood thirsty fics! they are all oneshots though.

Favorite Story You Wrote: Its actually my first Oliver fic I posted around Aug of 2018 (Omg have I been doing this for that long???) It needs to be rewritten BUT heres the link. Oliver x MC “Giving Up Control” I still think about this fic often lmfao. Femdoming Oliver is 🤤👌

Story You Were Nervous to Post: Ooof, a recent Oliver fic. Only because it had alcohol themes and smoliver asking her on a date. Just due to his curse and things I didn't want to change too much but it was all consensual with adult Oliver. I was just nervous some people would read into it and take it the wrong way :( Oliver x MC “In A Perfect World You’re Happy With Me” (Looking back at it, it actually got a good response! I am surprised cuz I posted it then tried to put it out of my mind lol. #thanksanxiety

How You Choose Your Titles: First thing that comes to mind. Song lyrics, one word that sticks out in the fic. Or if its a common word or a word/title I’ve used before I put it into One Look Reverse Dictionary and find a similar word that means the sameish thing. I don’t dwell on titles too much tbh.

Completed: Last I counted, I had over 500 short stories under my belt. You can read them all on my blog but not everything was put into my masterlist. This was just due to the tumblr purge we had and I had to make a new masterlist since a lot of my fics got shadowbanned due to the tagging system back then. I didnt wanna repost them all lol

Incomplete: I have an entire spreadsheet that I plop all my ideas on... and it is FULL. I organize it by fandom, suitor, and fluff vs. smut. Ummmmmm.... See below: Coming soon lol.

Do You Outline? I usually start writing when I have an idea and if I need to step away from my computer I will do a quick outline. AKA just some quick bullet points of what I was thinking would happen next lol. If I ever take the time to properly do a full outline, I 100% go off the rails and do my own thing away from the outline. I am what is called a ‘discovery writer’ lol. I discoverer my own story as i write it then go back and edit it and act like I knew what I was doing all along lmfao.

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: I have 3 substantial WIPS (like 2-3k words) I bounce between that I’m working on. Victor x Mc, Vincent x MC and Faust x MC.

A plan to do part 2 of Gavin x MC’ s ”Distortion” .

I also have an long running AU fic with Gavin x MC (8k currently) but that is far away from being done lol.

There is also an 11 chapter fic I am planning. I have 2 chapters written but I cant seem to figure out one major plot detail and its keeping me from getting it done anytime soon :(

There is a chapter fic im writing for a cradle born MC, however its a mesh of our MC and my OC and its kinda complicated. Also its fluff and I’m less interested in writing that BUT I really want to share this story <3

Valentines day is actually prob going to be the next thing yall see from me tbh and that is TBD

Do You Accept Prompts? I used to every once in a while but I have so many WIPS and no personal computer at home rn. (SOON THOUGH!) So I don’t have the chance to write as much in my free time as I used to. I’ll take prompts but I let them sit in my ask box until I am able to write them <3. I am not the person to ask people to stop sending them, cuz I like to see what yall want me to write and take that into consideration for sure. I like taking asks for Thirsty Thursday (even if its not thurs, I will hold onto them until then) and answer them 😍 I love those because more people are involved other than me and I like being a part of something bigger than myself 🤗

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: My Victor x MC story. Its UMMMMM........ ITS SLOW BURN YALL. LIKE WHO AM I?! lmfao.

*(I am going to personally add a few questions to this tag that I am interested in knowing about others as well lol)*

What do you use to edit?: I pay for Grammarly (its AMAZING even the free version is super worth it)

For word meanings, synonyms, and better wording I use OneLook Reverse Dictionary ALL THE TIME for every single fic. (and like I said before, to help with titles)

When I feel like something is off and grammarly doesn’t quite know and I don’t know, I put the fic through Hemmingway Editor. It tells you HOW readable a sentence is. If its hard to read I rewrite it and make things a bit simpler for the eyes. Its free in the browser.

Writing setup: Ideally, the sun is coming in through the window, It’s cool inside, I’m wearing a fuzzy sweater, I have hot coffee or tea, and my head phones are in.

I listen to lofi music station on youtube but If its distracting I put on lofi without lyrics. I love THIS playlist. (this is live so it’ll prob break but here’s an alt link to their offline playlist) If I am in an upbeat mood I like “Electropose” music. Or I listen to the ‘setting’ a fic is in. Like if its raining in the story, I put on rain ambiance and things like that.

Do you use a beta reader? No 😬, not really. Anytime I have someone beta read and they comment on the content and not the editing I get way too nervous to post the fic and suddenly it get sick to my stomach laskjdlsdj. I trust a couple gals to beta read in an editing mind set but I don’t bother them all the time. I like to go balls to the walls and trust grammarly, post the damn thing, and bite my nails hoping for the best.

Where do you get your writing inspo?: Bruh, #1 READING! Reading books, reading fics, reading summaries for things. Also, reading the routes in otomes, watching anime, and letting my mind wonder lol. I also like to chat with people on discord and let the stories unfold. Inspo has also come from a lot of my dreams tbh. My dreams are hella vivid and I try to write them down when I wake up if they are interesting lol.

Can we get a quote from an upcoming WIP?:

[ Without cars and crowds, the evening wind picked up nothing but serene sounds. Crickets gently chirped and leafs quietly brushed one another. The branches rustled together, making an organic symphony that the wind carried up to the balcony you leaned on.

*****’s warm hands ran up and down your forearms, warming your chilled skin. From behind, he bent forward and nipped at the shell of your ear.

“Is that better?” His silky hands moved faster, creating heated friction.

“Mmm,” You relished in the sensation. “Much better.”

His gentle chuckle against your pulse made you wiggle into him. ***** pressed his solid chest against your back and sighed. “Maybe if you were wearing more than just my shirt, you wouldn’t be so chilly.”

“I just want to be out here for a moment. The fresh air is nice.” You pressed your lips together into a small smile and angled your face up to him. “Don’t you agree?” ]

tagging: @somethinglacking @pseudofaux @tarralin @steph-writing @kiarigirl @otonymous @jennacat84 @xathia-89 @toloveawarlord @moonlit--river @thequeenshuntress @thirstyforbishiesimagines <3 Honestly I want to tag more people but I don’t wanna be annoying SO if you do this feel free to tag me cuz I am soooooo curious about other writers! Lets be friendsssss <3

#ash speaks #ash ask meme #fanfic writing #this post is shadowbanned due to links

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tlbodine · 5 years

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How to Love Revision

A lot of you lovely folks are doing Nanowrimo right now.

Which means that, in a few weeks, you will have a steaming pile of pages. A rough draft. A word-baby, if you will. And you might, at some point, want to turn that messy jumble into a real book, perhaps something to send to a publisher or publish yourself or just share with people.

I see a lot of writing advice about finishing first drafts -- and a whole lot of it is in the vein of “Just write it! Fix it in post! Finished is better than perfect!” which is great advice for pushing through, but does tend to leave future-you -- the editor you-- with problems.

Lucky for you, I happen to love editing (really! it’s my favorite part!) so I am here to give you some advice on how to turn those pages into a proper story without ripping all of your hair out or screaming into the void (but if you need to scream, it’s OK, I won’t judge you.)

First Off: Credit Where It’s Due

My current revision process draws heavily from Holly Lisle’s One-Pass Revision technique: https://hollylisle.com/one-pass-manuscript-revision-from-first-draft-to-last-in-one-cycle/

Her writing guides are golden, and I heartily recommend reading them all, starting with that one up there.

I don’t do one-pass revisions, but her ethos really helped me. Before I found her advice, I would get caught in the endless revise/rewrite cycle. I was going through 9+ drafts of every story and it kept morphing into something new and sprouting new problems, hydra-style, every time I tried to redo it. So nothing was ever finished, nothing was ever satisfying, and I hated it.

So I found a better way! And it freed me! I’ve written six books since then, four of them published (one Wattpad-exclusive) and I learned to look forward to the second draft.

So how does this magic work? Let me show you!

Step One: Put the Damn Thing Away

Editing requires intellectual and emotional distance. So finish your story, and set it aside for a while. Stop thinking about it. Actively put it out of your mind. Work on something else for a while. Read a book. Catch up on all the TV you missed. Whatever. The point is -- you don’t want to come back to revise your story until you can look at it with fresh eyes.

How long this will take depends on you, of course. It’s a very personal thing. It could be weeks. It could be months. For me, a good guideline is to wait until I can no longer quote whole passages from memory.

Now then. Let’s do some triage.

Before you can start editing, you need to know your goals. If you’re a planner, this might be easy because you have an outline you can compare against. If you’re a discovery writer like me, well, this is the time to figure out what exactly it is that you discovered. Grab a notebook (or a notepad file, if you’re a digital native) and follow this process:

Write a one-sentence elevator pitch that roughly encapsulates the concept of the story. It doesn’t have to be pretty -- you’re not showing this to anyone but yourself -- but it does have to be honest. My one-sentence pitch for River of Souls was “Self-aware zombies struggle for equal rights, but the medication they rely on to retain their humanity doesn’t work as advertised.” My pitch for The Hound was “Lesbian thrift shop owners invite the devil into their home after buying a cursed taxidermied dog.”

Write down your theme(s). In the draft, themes might take the form of questions. In this draft, you’ll want some answers. What do you want the reader to feel when they’re done? What is the message you’re trying to tell? When I wrote Nezumi’s Children, I knew it was a story about religion -- “What should we put our faith into?” In the end, I decided the answer was, “We should put our faith in each other.” That dictated the ending. (I also wanted to be careful not to inadvertently support abandoning your pets -- so I couldn’t let the rats be happily feral at the end. A happy ending for them meant being owned and cared for).

Write a 250-word synopsis of the story. Again, it doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to introduce the characters, the world, and the general shape of the story arc -- the inciting incident, the escalating stakes, and how the character changed at the end.

You may find that you struggle with this part, and that is totally find (and honestly to be expected). You may discover, for example, that your character doesn’t actually change, or that there isn’t a core conflict. That’s okay! That’s what you’re here to fix! I have absolutely, definitely written a book and then discovered 80,000 words later that it didn’t have a plot. It’s OK though, because you’ll fix that problem in the next step.

If you do indeed have a plot and escalating stakes and characters who go through developmental arcs, you’re ahead of the game. Now you’ve got the skeleton of an elevator pitch and the makings of a query letter (or a jacket blurb).

Next: Map Out Everything

When I was in elementary school, I had to start writing my first essays. I was supposed to make an outline, then write the paper to follow the outline. I wasn’t very good at doing it that way, so instead I would write the paper, then hastily draw up the outline to match what I said. Oops. Nothing has changed, honestly.

With your trusty notebook (or blank text document), compile the following:

Write out a list of scenes. Just a couple words describing the events of what happens. Now - are all of those scenes necessary? Are any redundant? Do you need to add foreshadowing or establish something earlier in the story to make sense of it? Are the scenes in the wrong order? Does every scene do some work to advance the plot, deepen the character, flesh out the world? Does the ending resonate with the theme? Re-write the scene list in the correct order, with scenes added or removed as necessary to tell the proper story. Now your scene list is a handy dandy roadmap/outline for your revision!

List out all of the characters in the story. Write down their role in the story. Does every major character have a goal? Do motivations make sense? Does each one change in some way during the story? Are all of your walk-on roles necessary? Are there characters who don’t really do much, and could you combine them?

Fixing plot holes on your scene list is a lot easier than fixing them in the manuscript itself. Keep tweaking your scenes until the story feels like it works. Make sure there’s a logical flow between events -- cause and effect, escalating stakes. Consult structure guides like the Hero’s Journey or the Three-Act Structure if you need some help with your plot.

Here’s a part that’s really important so it’s going in all caps: THE SCENE LIST IS FINAL. Make all the adjustments you need to the plot while you do the scene list, but do not -- DO NOT -- deviate from the story once you move on to the next step. You don’t stop modifying your scene list until you’re happy with the story, and once you’re happy, THAT is the story you’re writing. Get new ideas for things that can happen? Great, save ‘em for the next book.

Now Roll Your Sleeves Up And Get Dirty

Some people like to print their manuscript off and do edits in pen, but I don’t have reliable printer access most of the time and hate wasting paper. So instead, I pull up the rough draft and adjust it so it takes up one half of my monitor. Then I pull up a fresh, empty file and put that on the other half of the screen.

Now, using my scene list as a guide, I pull up the rough draft and rewrite it, scene by scene. Yes, that means re-typing every word. You’ll find that when you do this, you’ll fix a lot of language mistakes without even realizing it. I’m an under-writer, so my drafts usually double in length during this process because I spend more time lingering on sensory details, adding scenes, teasing out character dynamics, etc. etc. etc. Just let yourself go, get immersed into the scene. If you forget what you were doing, just refer back to your outline and original draft to get back on track.

I find this process works best if you can do it quickly. Try not to let the story get cold. Ideally, work on this every single day, or even set aside a long weekend to just hammer it all out.

Finally: Make a Second Pass

Now that you’ve got a second draft under your belt, it’s time to celebrate! Set the book aside. If you have beta readers or an editor, now is the time to send this to them. Hang out for a bit. Figure out who you’re querying, if you’re doing that. Find a kick-ass cover, if you’re self-publishing. Build yourself a Lego mansion. Whatever. Just sit on your draft for a little bit.

Now that a couple weeks have passed, it’s time to make a final pass. Gather all of the feedback you’ve gotten from beta readers and editors and decide what advice you should take and what you can ignore. Here’s a guideline: If someone says something and you think, “oh, yeah! that’s exactly it!” then you take the suggestion. If they say something and you think “uh, well, no, that’s not really the story I was trying to write....” or something similar, you can ignore the feedback. Good feedback will always feel true in the “duh, why didn’t I think of that” way.

Open up your new draft and, starting at page one, just read the damn thing. Make adjustments to the writing as necessary:

Correct any misspellings and typos you come across.

Eliminate weak words and phrases and replace them with stronger ones.

Add some variation to sentence structure if you notice that it’s become repetitive.

Eliminate redundancy. Fix your metaphors. Fix your symbolism. Keep your poetic language on-theme. In The Hound, I replaced a ton of random metaphors with dog imagery. It’s subtle, but it lends thematic cohesion.

Some people use things like Grammarly or Hemmingway App to help with this. I’ve never used them, so I can’t speak to their effectiveness. But if you find that they help, awesome! Use them!

Here’s a really important point: This step can ONLY come AFTER the rewriting stage. There is no point at all in tweaking sentences and fixing up the language in a story that has no plot. Fix your structural issues FIRST, and be sure they are AIR TIGHT, before you start dicking around with the words. Ok? Ok. (Someone go back in time 15 years and tell this to young me please)

And now...you are done!

Spend some time tweaking your elevator pitch and query letter at this point, if necessary. But no matter what, you do not go back into this document and change ANYTHING unless an editor tells you to. The book is DONE. Maybe give it a final proofread before you self-publish it (but honestly, you’re better off hiring someone to do it at that point, you’re going to be too zorched to notice the typos you missed) but otherwise don’t touch it. Don’t think about it. Write the next book.

And that’s it! That’s my mostly painless revision process!

Obviously every person is different, your mileage may vary, etc. But I hope this serves as a helpful jumping off point. I am more than happy to answer any questions or provide clarification on things -- just drop me a line :)

#writing advice #writing tips #editing #writeblr #long post

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hutchhitched · 5 years

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Everlark Self-Inteview

Okay, this spiraled out of control. My apologies. Here are some thoughts on this fine Friday.

I posted my first Everlark story in September 2013. I still feel like a newbie in the fandom.

Fanfiction is a creative outlet for me. Some days the muse is strong and feeds me. Some weeks/months it does not. I am never trying to put someone off or delay posting. I know that doesn’t make the wait any easier or shorter.

Be kind to others. We’re all trying.

Edit your story before posting. Typos drive me crazy. Please let me know when I have one. I always go back and fix them when I find them. (Also, read more links are your friend.)

New people come into this fandom every day. It’s intimidating. I’ve been here a long time, and I still feel like no one knows who I am. Find out the history of the fandom, but you don’t apologize for being new. I, for one, am happy you’re here.

The rest of the interview is under the cut. Also, my past interview is here.

Writing process:

Do you outline?

This is going to come up a lot, but the honest answer is it depends on the story. I’ve been writing for a very long time. I’m in my early forties, and I wrote my first story when I was in second grade. Every story I write has its own voice and method and process, but one thing is similar. I’m a thinker. I don’t always write down an outline. I’m a procrastinator, which is code for, “I think about things until I’ve got it organized in my head. Then I’ll write.”

That said, there are some stories that have pretty elaborate outlines. Too Familiar has an outline now, but it didn’t when I started it since it was only supposed to be a one shot. Always Rivals has an outline. End of Love has an outline. All my completed JHutch and Joshifer stories had outlines. I know District 14 and Code Name: Mockingjay need outlines (and am procrastinating on making them). When a story gets long(ish), I end up needing an outline.

Do you use a beta?

Again, it depends on the story. I used to use a beta for everything I wrote. @myusernamehere and @jennagill and @cheeks-and-white-tshirts and @xerxia31 have all been regular betas for me. A few others have looked things over. Now, I tend not to use a beta, although @xerxia31 still glances over a lot of things for me before I post.

Good betas who will tell you if your story is crap and/or needs development or whatever are the best and absolutely amazing. I am super grateful for them. The reason I stopped using one every time is more for timing reasons than anything else. I’m a procrastinator, so asking someone to beta when I’m up against a timeline just isn’t fair to those who are volunteering to help me. Also, I’m a pretty good proofreader and editor, and I’m usually fairly confident about what I want to do in a story. I’ve typically talked out the plot with someone beforehand, so the chapter by chapter beta-ing isn’t needed the same as it used to be.

Do you post right away?

Almost never. Drabble challenges, yes. I’ve actually whipped out some @talesofpanem stories in a couple of hours and posted, but that’s only because of the deadlines. I tend to let a story sit for a while and edit a few times before posting it. It helps catch repetitious words and typos I wouldn’t catch otherwise. I don’t want to post something half-assed because I don’t want to read something half-assed.

I’ve posted one story that was completed before I started. It was a Josh/OC story, so nothing from Everlark. However, that will change with the two @fandomtrumpshate stories I’m writing. Both will be complete and shared with their respective bidders before I start posting to tumblr and AO3. I’m also trying to use this month’s Nanowrimo to finish some stories (or get a big jump on them), so posting time between chapters isn’t so long. I understand people’s frustration. I really do. I’m trying to be better.

Story questions:

Where did the story come from?

Too Familiar—I’ve put this out there before, but here it is again. I was in grad school, and another grad student and I met and clicked instantly. He was married. We became the best of friends and ended up falling madly in love with each other. I honestly believe if soulmates exist, we are it. The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life is give him up. Eventually (after I moved to Houston), we cut off communication. I talked to him for the first time in eight years last month. He still loves me. He’s still with his wife. He thanked me for the sacrifice I made by letting him go. It is a terrible, awful, horrible situation, and there is no happy ending for either of us. In the story, I tried to give Everlark one, even though it’s messy and complicated and some readers hate both Katniss and Peeta in it. But it happens. People don’t always do things the right way, and that’s what I was trying to show in the story. Sometimes love isn’t fair or right or moral or good. Sometimes it’s painful and raw and means breaking the rules—at least in fanfiction.

Sole Beneficiary—I had an ex-boyfriend who worked nights. He and I still really liked each other, and I was lonely and stressed out in grad school. I used to go over to his place after morning workouts and climb into bed and cuddle with him. He was all sleepy and warm and teddy bear-like, and it was really comforting. It was also really confusing, which is what the story’s about.

Cattle Show—I used to show cattle when I was in 4-H. There was a family from a neighboring town with three brothers. The middle one was named Brett, and he was one of the kindest, sweetest, most gorgeous creatures I’d ever met. His family owned a registered farm with a logo and everything, and my family rented our farm and didn’t have the money to invest in outward appearances. Still, those nights at the fair were some of the best of my childhood memories. Sleeping in the cattle trailers (and me in the bean truck) and hanging out after it was dark and a lot of people drinking and people sneaking off together all happened. I was younger and much more innocent, but those three brothers were always in the middle of it all. Brett was always kind to me, even though I was five years younger and kind of on the outskirt of things. He passed away a few years ago in his early forties, and the world is a darker place because of it.

Which was the easiest to write?

Of the three, Cattle Show is lighter and more fun. It’s also the one that doesn’t really skirt the boundaries of acceptable moral behavior. Because of that, people have accepted it more readily even though the others have gotten more attention.

What is your favorite part of the story?

Too Familiar—I just wrote the exchange between Madge and Katniss, and that was A LOT of fun (and probably not what people are expecting). However, I think my favorite part was when Peeta confesses how he feels about her for the first time and then is absolutely mortified when he does at the end of chapter 1 and beginning of chapter 2. He’s so vulnerable, and she’s so stunned and angry. It’s kind of beautiful and simultaneously heartbreaking.

Sole Beneficiary—I love this line: “I swear someday I’m going to say no to you,” he growls and tugs my clothes off. “Someday I’m going to realize I’m a fool for letting you use me. Someday I’m going to find someone else.”

Cattle Show—There’s some drunk Peeta in there, and I adore writing drunk Peeta.

Were you shocked or disappointed by the reaction the story got?

Too Familiar—Not exactly. It’s gotten a lot of attention on AO3, and not all of it’s good. There are some readers who hate both main characters and say there’s nothing redeeming about either of them and no excuses for their actions. I’m not really sure why they keep reading the story, to be honest. It disappoints me that the story I’m trying to tell about gray areas is being read in black and white terms.

Sole Beneficiary—Not for this one. I’ve been really pleasantly pleased that people seem to want more. I get more requests for this than any other story. I don’t really know why it’s so compelling to so many, but I’m appreciative of the reception.

Cattle Show—I’m always a little surprised when someone tells me this is their favorite. It kinda flew under the radar, so when it comes up, that makes me happy.

Future plans:

Top tier priority—Too Familiar, Three Months, Maybe This Summer, Float Your Boat, Playlist: Home, Hold It

Second tier priority—Always Rivals, Code Name: Mockingjay, Influenza, Sole Beneficiary, District 14

I’ll get to them eventually—Extended Office Hours, The Cipher, Mother of Pearl, Bullseye, We Wish Real, High Society, Go With Me, Hope Boldly, The Doppelganger, The Worst Day, Small Town Secrets, The Cry

#everlarkselfinterview #everlark fanfiction #hutchhitched #i rambled a bit

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hardnoctlife · 4 years

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Author Asks

Decided to go ahead and answer these for anyone who might be interested.

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical “you” fic.

Domestic fluff, modern or school AU, with a sprinkling of angst. I’m really trying to work outside of my comfort zone, but I don’t really like too many crazy AUs.

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I really want to do enemies-to-lovers, but it’s so hard to pull off convincingly and I’m afraid I’m going to mess it up.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole?

MPREG…just…no. Also, most dub-con.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

I’m currently working on a rewrite of one of my first fics “The Insomnian Academy for the Elite.” It’s called “Stand by You” in the new version! That’s it right now other than brainstorming for the Promptis Big Bang and trying to finish WDES Verse 2.

5. Share one of your strengths.

In writing? I think I do fun and convincing dialogue.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

I’d say I spend more time writing dialogue than descriptions. I also sometimes have issues with pacing.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Chapter 10 of “Write Drunk, Email Sober.” I feel like I nailed everything about that chapter, from the emotion, to the dialogue...it’s my favorite thing I’ve written.

In that moment, something clicks into place for Prompto, like being shifted from the shallow to the deep end of a pool. He realizes there is much more to Ignis Scientia than just his ease on the eyes, and Prompto knows that he wants to dive even further into his depths.

Prompto’s smile comes naturally, full and delighted. Ignis mirrors it with his own.

“Boyfriend to Professor Scientia has a nice ring to it,” Prompto agrees. Ignis touches their noses, rubbing them together briefly before bestowing a kiss on the blond’s lips. They sink back into the bed and downwards, and Prompto is amazed to discover you can be lost and simultaneously found.

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Most of “Rain or Shine and Everything In-Between,” because I felt like the dialogue was natural and fun, but also very true to life. My favorite scene is what I think is the most hard hitting of the entire fic:

“Tell me what’s the matter,” Ignis said as soon as the man had left the room, and Noctis made a show of studying the tips of his naga-skin boots, putting more weight on his good ankle. “Noctis?”

“I can’t do this, Ignis.”

“It’s only a tie, Noct—”

“No, this.” Noctis waved his hands at the whole room, and although it wouldn’t have been clear to anyone else, Ignis knew what he meant.

The prince’s advisor felt his heart skip a beat as he studied Noctis in the mirror, their eyes finally meeting as the prince’s chin jutted forward, stubborn, yet beautiful.

“What are you saying?” Ignis asked, pragmatic and cautious.

“I can’t do this, Iggy!” Noctis’s voice rose, skipping off the marble floors. “I won’t! I’m going to tell my father everything. I’m fucking gay for Bahamut’s sake, how I am supposed to make an heir, let alone have sex with my wife—”

“Shh,” Ignis implored, coming forward to squeeze Noctis’s shoulders in warning. “Shh,” he said a little more quietly, bringing his head to rest against Noctis’s cheek.

“I can’t—I can’t. Please, don’t make me do this!” Noctis’s heart was breaking, and Ignis’s was breaking along with it, and all this was so much more than choosing a stupid tie.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

I’d say, “Daemons that Live in the Dark.” It was the heaviest content-wise. I had to take a lot of breaks to mentally and emotionally recharge between chapters, and the ending gave me the most trouble.

10. Which fic has bee the easiest to write?

“Write Drunk, Email Sober.” It was so fun to write, and I didn’t stop writing it from start to finish. It felt easy!

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

I’d say a bit of both. I wanted to be a writer since I was in middle school, and even aspired to be an author at one point. I didn’t rediscover it until last year when surgery made me unable to be active and I needed something to do to manage my mental health.

12. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

When you get stuck, don’t be afraid to skip ahead and write scenes out of order. For me, this is especially helpful because I get certain scenes in my head that I want to jot down, but sometimes have trouble leading up to them.

13. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Not advice, exactly, but the idea that more kudos/hits/comments on a certain fic on AO3 = good/better. There have been popular fics that I have hated, and other ones with fewer kudos, etc. that I have absolutely loved. Everything is going to hit different from person to person, so you need to be true to you and what you like and not compare yourself to everyone else.

14. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

“Write Drunk, Email Sober” for sure. It would be hilarious to watch.

15. If you only could write on pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Does OT4 count as a pairing? Because I vote that.

16. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Typically from start to finish unless I’m have a particular scene in mind that I need to get out, or if I’m having trouble writing a scene I might skip ahead and go back later.

17. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

No…I probably should. I use prompts a lot though, and music for inspiration.

18. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in a basement. Do you have a muse?

Yes—my wife.

19. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Rainy day in a coffee shop, big latte, and spotify playlist on in the background.

20. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting.

I read through it once myself, let my wife read it and make edits, and then read it again. After posting I’ll read it a third time and usually still catch any errors I missed.

21. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.

I’m currently doing this with my fic, “Stand by You.”

22. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

“Stand by You” and “Dawn of the Godslinger,” mostly because I loved the concepts, but I feel like my writing has improved dramatically since I first wrote them and they’re in desperate need of updating.

23. Have you ever deleted on of your published fics?

Yes, a few of my earlier ones. The writing and characterization was cringey.

24. What do you look for in a beta?

My wife has an MFA and is an editor so I’m lucky to have her as my beta.

25. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

Yes! You have to edit your own work…I look for typos/grammar errors and characterization mostly.

26. How do you feel about collaborations?

With the right people they are a ton of fun! But if you have a bad partner they can be miserable. Overall, I really enjoy them.

27. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Crazyloststar – mostly because she and I have very similar writing styles and she has GREAT characterization and very fun ideas. Definitely look up to her!

Carolyncaves – because they wrote one of my favorite fanfics ever, “Something Just Like This,” which is a great example of an ace person in a relationship and makes me think of my wife.

HigharollaKockamamie – because they wrote one of my other favorite fanfics, “The Temptation of Saint Anthony, but with This Guy,” which is the only fic that has ever made me like Ardyn.

28. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Oh man...probably something by @crazyloststar

29. Do you accept prompts?

Yes! I love them 😊

30. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I like to keep character’s personalities as canon as possible, but other than that it’s fair game. My number one pet peeve when reading fanfic is when authors don’t get the characterization right.

31. How do you feel about smut?

I enjoy it if I’m in the mood to read it, but I’m not a huge fan of writing it. I’d rather focus on the emotions behind character relationships rather than the physical aspects.

32. How do you feel about crack?

I’m not a huge fan of crack fics, reading or writing them.

33. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

IF and only if it is woven into a story artfully, I can tolerate it. I do not like fics that focus specifically on non-con or dub-con as being sexy or attractive, and I refuse to write those kinds of fics. With that said, one of my fics does revolve around the idea that the antagonist rapes the main character, but it is not glorified in any way.

34. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

If it furthered the plot and I was going for angst, sure.

35. Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3

36. Talk about your current wips.

Currently I’m working on “Stand by You,” my Promptis HS AU rewrite, and gearing up for the Promptis Big Bang. I also still have to finish WDES Verse 2.

37. Talk about a review that made your day.

Pretty much any of the comments on WDES…any comment, really.

38. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I’ve gotten a handful. I typically delete them and move on. Otherwise, I respond to all comments.

#author asks #writing asks #asks and answers #hardnoctlife #fanfiction

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the-master-cylinder · 4 years

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Empire Pictures/Tycin Films (1986-1987) “At the time everyone was talking high concept so I said let’s do RAPISTS FROM OUTERSPACE.” Charles Band bought the film released as Breeders as well as Mutant Hunt, which Kincaid shot back-to-back. Director Tim Kincaid was rewarded with a long term, ten picture deal with Empire in which some of the films will be made under his Tycin Films banner and others under Millennium Pictures. The latter will include some bigger budget items. Make them for under $1 million each on 10-day shooting schedules, back to back. Kincaid explained that most of the Tycin features will be produced for direct-to video sales probably through Empire’s own Wizard Video. The remaining films will see a theatrical release.

Although filmed after Mutant Hunt, Breeders (1986) was the first to land on video store shelves aided by a stylish pulp-influenced poster. Though no censors could get at his script Kincaid did have a domestic overseer. “My wife is very much into making sure that women aren’t being ripped-off in these films,” he said. “We had a lot of nudity but we weren’t brutalizing women on screen. Everything is implied. Variety speculated that BREEDERS went out on video because of problems with the rating board, but we had always planned to make it an R-rated film. Nothing has been cut for the video release.”

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The climactic scenes of BREEDERS take place in the monster’s underground lair, where it has created a nest for its victims. Kincaid filmed in a series of catacombs under the Brooklyn Bridge, used by workers who built the structure. There are vast rooms with brick and stone archways, the largest of which is a prayer room used by the men before they went into the depths to work. Kincaid learned of the location from BREEDER’s makeup effects man Ed French.

The monster’s victims were to be seen immersed in a pit of translucent slime actually gelatin. But with the actresses disrobed and immersed, the jello failed to gel. Kincaid was wary of adding the chemicals necessary for fear of harming the girls.

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“The art director jumped in a van and headed for the nearest supermarket,” said Kincaid. “He brought back ten pounds of flour and we poured it into the pit. It worked, but unfortunately it turned it white and gave the scene these sexual undertones that we never meant for it to have. The girls ended up working in the stuff for four or five hours-until 4 a.m.”

Necropolis (1986) Reincarnated “Satanic Witch” from New Amsterdam, circa 1600’s comes back to revive her cult members by sucking the life force out of people.

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Robot Holocaust (1986) Just outside New Terra (whats left of New York City), Neo, a drifter from the atomic-blasted wastelands, and his klutzy robot sidekick arrive at a factory where slaves labor to fuel the Dark One’s Power Station. He meets Deeja, a woman (Nadine Hart) who convinces him to help rescue her father. The father is a scientist (Michael Dowend) who has invented a device that can break the Dark One’s control over the factory slaves. Gathering a motley crew of allies on the way, Neo goes to the Power Station to confront the Dark One’s evil servants.

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Mutant Hunt (1987), which Kincaid calls an adventure film with a science fiction background” finds Manhattan in a state of terror as Z, a mad industrialist, alters a squad of cyborgs with a drug known as Euphoron, turning them into crazed killers. The cyborg’s original creator is imprisoned by Z, but his sister escapes and seeks the help of Matt Riker, a private operative.

Kincaid directed MUTANT HUNT in 15 days, stretching the budget to give it more value and making up the difference by cutting corners on BREEDERS, putting that film in the can in only eight days. Empire is easily the most prolific distributor of genre films and their tactic of using both theatrical and video markets to release their product should enable them to keep a constant supply of films flowing to the fans. This is fine with Tim Kincaid, who seems to get a genuine joy out of making films, even on restricted budgets.

The location is a large industrial type complex, eight stories high and several blocks long. The Army abandoned the terminal more than a decade ago. Today, it is the home of a noisy spice factory, hundreds of dilapidated city buses, and a small, but eager film crew. “There’s nothing like a set that doesn’t move,” says Rick Gianasi. The beefcake actor plays the film’s macho hero, Matt Riker. “This place is fabulous,” he observes.

The same location, with its scores of broken windows and rusty train tracks, conjures up a nice post apocalypse scenario on this windy and cloudy morning. Despite the atmosphere, Kincaid explains that his movie is not set in the next century. “Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt is not Road Warrior or Star Wars,” he notes, but it is in the future, only about six years from now.”

Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt certainly has its share of Fango moments, so don’t get the idea that this flick is simply another science-fiction yarn. The movie’s mutants are actually diseased cyborgs, exploited by an evil genius called Z, who eventually run amuck throughout the Big Apple. Kincaid, while looking around the set and mapping out the morning’s schedule, adds that his film will not take itself too seriously, either.

“It’s sort of-I don’t want to say tongue-in-cheek because that term’s overused-a contemporary adventure,” he explains. “There’s not much hardware, just some lasers and effects. It isn’t knockdown, fall about-funny, but Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt has a sense of humor. The heroes are a happy-go-lucky trio of mercenaries, adventurers for hire who share a kidding camaraderie with each other. It’s a comic strip.”

The first shot of the day, which Kincaid is now planning, will take place on a concrete walkway inside a spectacular atrium that bisects the terminal. Grey buttresses jut out from both sides of the enormous hangar-like structure. Sunshine streams in from a huge skylight above, reducing the need for artificial lighting. To the left of the walkway, New York-based special effects man Matt Vogel peers over the charred remnants of Z’s dummy corpse, the victim of a Vogel pyrotechnic effect from the previous night’s lensing.

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Vogel, who honed his incendiary skills on the pyromaniac horror flick Don’t Go in the House, is also contributing cyborg sparks, various fireballs and assorted gunshots. And included in his makeshift FX lab–actually his very own spot on the floor are boxes of ornaments, Christmas balls. Christmas balls?

“We have this chemical called titanium tetrochloride, ” Vogel elaborates. “When you open it up, slivers of smoke come out. It was once used for skywriting. The smoke is nice, but you can’t contain it. If I put it in a Christmas ball and seal it up, I have a titanium tetrochloride bomb. With a small explosive charge, the ball breaks and tendrils of smoke emerge. The hardest part of my job is finding Christmas balls in September!”

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A few feet from Vogel’s effects “shop” is makeup man Ed French’s cluttered work area where he and his assistants John Bisson and James Chai leisurely paint some cyborg appendages. Later, French will supply an immobile six-foot cyborg “stretcho” arm, plus the diseased facial features for a cyborg duo. French took on a multiple challenge on these dual productions. Not only is he providing the special makeup effects, but Kincaid is letting him direct most of the FX sequences as well. “In terms of directing the special effects,” French reveals, “much of it is up to me. I don’t have any designs on becoming a director, but it is something I’ll have a lot to do with on these films. My storyboards are followed very closely by the editor. They’re very practical in terms of our shooting time. We can’t compete with An American Werewolf in London, but if it’s planned intelligently, we can have a lot of fun.”

French is particularly excited about a mechanical cyborg puppet that both he and Tom Lauten built for Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt. Its enticing features include a blown-away face with missing jaw, but French resists displaying this trophy, explaining that it is so fragile that he prefers to bring it out only when the cameras are rolling. Instead, visitors to the set get to see his chicken-wire-and-foam dummy, an unfortunate body that many crew members delight in kicking.

“This is our generic, all-purpose cyborg-dummy,”French announces, pointing to the abused double. “We took him apart yesterday, and pulled his arm off and had sparking as it came out of the joint. We divide him in half for an operating table scene. He also does some falling. This is body part city. We have an action scene where a cyborg knocks another’s head off, a combination dummy-puppet. We even have industrial strength cyborg blood squirting all over. It looks like anti-freeze.”

Nearby, two of the actor-cyborgs sit patiently while their bizarre crew cut hairstyles are neatly trimmed by the set’s conventional makeup artist Laurie Aiello. With their threatening height and muscular builds, these guys seem perfect for the cloneesque cyborgs, but their haircuts make them look like demented sailor boys. “We knew what we were getting into when we were offered the roles,” jokes Beta Cyborg Mark Legan, one of this production’s chiefly unknown cast. Alpha Cyborg Warren Ulaner doesn’t mind his appearance. “I was in the East Village the other night and my haircut was, more or less, conservative.” Adds French, “The makeups and designs are very stylized and give them a punk-heavy metal look.”

“I was looking forward to playing this kind of role,” says Legan, “because these guys are as villainous as you can get. Warren does a number of nasty things to people and gets a lamp stuck in his eye. Yesterday, I got to tear somebody’s arm off. That’s more fun than saving the girl. For me, the film’s highlight will be when I attack a couple in an alley, tear the girl’s head off and roll it down the street.”

For a production that is supposed to wrap in only 10 days, things are going very slowly on this Wednesday morning. Most of the crew point to the reason: they’re recovering from late night shooting of some extra action stuff to impress Charles Band. Band flew in earlier this morning to get an advance peek at the dailies and, according to French, liked what he saw. Today’s first shot involves a short dialogue scene with the intense Z (Bill Peterson) holding a fellow scientist (Marc Umile) at laser point. Kincaid is an atypical, laidback director who stresses the “please” when he calls, “Quiet, please” as things finally get moving.

“Maybe the pace will pick up suddenly, and it will be rat-a-tat-tat, scene after scene,” predicts the hopeful Ron (New York Ninja) Reynaldi. He plays Johnny Felix, a martial arts master and electronics expert to Riker. He also doubles as Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt’s comic relief and stunt coordinator.

Following the short dialogue scenes, Kincaid readies the next few shots in which the heroine (Mary Fahey, sister of Jeff Fahey), is chased down a dark tunnel. The crew pauses for the sun to hide behind some clouds (day for night). Despite the brief delay, the director remains confident that Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt will come in on schedule.

“I plan my films like any other feature,” he notes during a lunch break. “It’s like a jigsaw puzzle. What you have to realize is that a Magnum P.I. even though it’s 52 minutes long and they have a bigger crew and bigger budget-goes out in seven days. Everything is carefully planned out in advance and really set up so that we know where we are going. We know how long it’s going to take to shoot each thing and how much time to allow for it. That’s why we’re shooting so radically out of sequence.”

After Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt wrapped principal photography a week later-inserts will be shot soon and Band’s California-based technicians are doing the post-production opticals. Kincaid and company immediately began Breeders, a tale of lustful aliens invading Fun City with sex, sex, sex on their otherworldly minds. Some new crew members have joined this film, along with another batch of unknown performers, including makeup man Ed French. Breeders is shooting in the same underground tunnels.

“I think Breeders is going faster, but I don’t know why,” observes French, while preparing a shot with a grotesque half-alien/half-human baby. “Maybe it’s the script. Breeders is more elementary and straightforward. The style, which is very ’50s sci-fi monsters on the loose, almost dictates what you should do. On Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt, the script kept getting rewritten and getting bigger and more complicated. It’s an action movie with a lot of special effects. We knew Matt Riker would go over schedule a bit since it’s so ambitious.”

French steps aside to talk with his assistant, James Chai, who is lying on the dusty concrete floor for his part in bringing the monstrous puppet to life. The baby alien is appropriately disgusting, with an immense, gaping mouth running vertically down its face. A big, bulging bug eye blinks blindly. French applies some gooey methyl cellulose to its row of razor sharp teeth. Meanwhile, gun toting actor Lance Lewman and stake-wielding Teresa Farley wait for French to call action so that they can battle the crippled beastie. As on Matt Riker, Kincaid lets French direct his own special FX sequences.

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Acting is another experience French is enjoying on Breeders. The occasional actor plays a doctor possessed by the aliens. Eventually, he even turns into one. “It’s really kind of exciting,” French laughs. “There was an eerie moment yesterday. I’m supposed to be hiding this little creature and then let him loose on these people. I was in the shot, so I just couldn’t step out of the scene and check out the creature. I had to stay in character and let my assistant take care of it.”

In a connecting tunnel next door, a couple of production assistants place the finishing touches on the aliens’ “nest,” a squat six-foot-square box made of foam, goo, plastic and some broken glass. The “Gigeresque” nest is where the captive women are taken. Attractive actress Francis Raines, last featured as the first victim of The Mutilator, does not mind wallowing naked in the nest for her upcoming scene as alien breeding stock.

“This stuff is like food preservative,” explains Raines referring to the buckets of methyl cellulose ooze. “It’s not like they hired 40 Ukrainian elephants to spit in there. I go through the pit and transform to become another Breeder. I can’t wait! At least, I keep away from the dirt.

“My biggest scene is where it does its transformation and chases me around this photography studio while I’m modeling swimsuits. He gets me, attacks me, and uses me. The biggest effect occurs when this stomach cord shoots out and grabs me. Its tentacles drag me away.’

French insists that Breeders is not as lewd as it sounds, while Kincaid obviously believes that sex and violence sell flicks. “I’ve always liked the lurid exploitation movies of the ’50s when I was growing up,” Kincaid remarks. “I think the time is right for them to come back, since we’re coming to the end of the wholesome-family-type science fiction that appeals to a wide range audience. Now, we have a big video market for these low-budget pictures. There hasn’t been an audience for these movies in the last 10 to 15 years… until now.”

In addition to “tactfully” filming the alien rapes, Kincaid and French wanted an abstract look for the invaders. French based his designs on a book of insect microphotography. Most of the black-painted Breeders suit lies in sections around his ad-libbed workshop. A separate Breeders insert head is used for close-ups, and includes waving antennae. An alien hand snaps out a line like a frog’s tongue as well.

“The most challenging bit about the whole thing, and what I’m learning the most about, is integrating the monster suits into the film so that it doesn’t look like a monster suit,” explains French during a 4 p.m. lunch break. “I hate monster suits. Everytime you see this thing, we show a little more of it, like in The Elephant Man. First, you see its hand, then its shadow, a partial transformation, etc. It’s all judiciously shot and generally nightmarish. You’re not going to see a guy running around in a rubber suit.”

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Monster suits or not, everyone at Entertainment Concepts is banking that Breeders and Matt Riker: Mutant Hunt serve as the first of a succession of independent New York productions all to be released by Empire… if all goes right.

“Empire has approached us about working with them as an East Coast off-shoot of their production suppliers,” Tim Kincaid reveals. “Their films are shot all over the world, Spain, Rome, California, but they don’t have a group of people to supply them from the East Coast. They like the feel and scenic look of what they’ve seen. We’re hoping it’s the beginning of a series.”

Waldo Warren Private Dick Without Brain (1988) (The Occultist, MAXIMUM THRUST) A cyborg private eye is hired to protect a Caribbean president visiting New York City. Unknown to him, the president’s daughter is in league with his country’s rebels who are trying to assassinate him.

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The History of Empire Films Part Four Empire Pictures/Tycin Films (1986-1987) “At the time everyone was talking high concept so I said let's do RAPISTS FROM OUTERSPACE." Charles Band bought the film released as Breeders as well as Mutant Hunt, which Kincaid shot back-to-back.

#BAND #EMPIRE

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writtenbyhappynerds · 4 years

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Unit 9: Don’t Like, Don’t Read

Welcome to the last unit of Fanfiction 101. We saved this for last because it is most applicable at this time. As well as the notion of, “don’t like, don’t read,” we are going to discuss criticism as a whole, commenting, secondary readers, and plagiarism. Let’s jump into it.

There is only one true example where the idea of, ‘Don’t like, don’t read,’ is a valid claim and that is in fetish fanfiction. If you are writing smut or fanfic that is meant to serve a specific fetish/kink, then put that in the description and then you can inform the reader that if it isn’t their cup of tea they shouldn’t read it. That is the only time this comment is valid because not everyone is actively seeking out Johnlock BDSM or inflation porn. Everything else, from opinion pieces to serious fanfiction is fair game to be critiqued because we as writers are putting it out on a public platform. If you put something online it is unrealistic of you as a writer to expect no one to ever try and tell you what could be wrong with it. It is also on us as writers to acknowledge that every idea we have isn’t a gem. They’re not all winners, and a story that you’ve written perfectly in your head may not translate well on paper. It is on you to grow and adapt the narrative to become even better.

Criticism is not a bad thing. There is a difference between constructive criticism and hate, and hate is usually along the lines of, “this is stupid. You’re a terrible writer.” Because we post things on a public platform we have to be able to take criticism, which gives you the opportunity to grow as a writer. Feedback from your audience allows you to become better at your craft because writing is not a talent. It is a skill, and it is one that improves only by rewriting and editing over and over again until you get it right. I understand that it’s sometimes difficult to get feedback though because it requires work on the reader’s end as well as the author.

To readers, if you are anxious about commenting or feel bad about critiquing someone’s work in a public post, message them privately. The authors are hungry for criticism. Every comment on Fanfiction 101 I have replied to; for everything from the comments on the exams to the comments on the units themselves because clarifying and aiding and taking in feedback makes not only these courses, but my writing capabilities better. I understand how readers think and the positive comments of, ‘This is amazing!’ or ‘I like this already’ are nice to see but they don’t tell the author how to make a story more enjoyable. Personally, if I critique someone’s story I’ll message them privately, tell them I’ve read one of their pieces, and that I have some notes. Now, sometimes it goes over very well and you feel a friendly bond with the person whose work you’re critiquing. When I comment on a piece, it’s because I want it to succeed and I want it to be even better than it is. Sometimes, you get blocked, as I recently did, because the author isn’t emotionally available to accept that there are issues with their work. It happens. It’s water off a duck’s back, and you move on knowing you did what you could to try and help. This leads me to a specific aside:

It is not okay to make fun of another author’s work. To all my readers, do not say that you won’t name a specific work to protect the identity of the writer, but then give me enough context clues that I can find the fanfiction on Google. That is not okay. Making fun of someone else’s fanfic is just mean. I was writing and posting fanfic when I was a sophomore in high school. A lot of fanfiction writers are young kids/teens, and they don’t deserve that. I will come for you if I see you making fun of someone’s fanfic. That isn’t constructive. It isn’t helpful, it’s just mean.

Your fanfiction may sound really great to you the writer because in your head you can see it play or pan out. Sometimes you the author can see the whole narrative in your head and it’s just a matter of putting it down on paper. I’ve been there. I see you. I myself usually write endings as quickly as I can so I have an event or thing to work towards. However, your audience isn’t reading your fanfiction with all the context you’ve given each scene in your head in mind. There is a solution. I detest the term ‘beta readers.’ The lovely lady working on Fanfiction 101 has read every story I’ve ever written that’s been publicly posted since the beginning. This is because she has read a lot of fanfiction, and knows what’s been done before and what hasn’t. I would never designate her as a beta reader because her voice and input in these stories help shape them just as much as I do writing them. Hence, she has and always will be, the Editor. The first person to read. Your first reader or critic doesn’t need to necessarily know what fandom you’re writing for. When your editor knows the fandom, they can provide a second set of eyes regarding the continuity or characterization of the main cast. When I tried to write Agents of SHIELD fanfic back in the day, I got my ass handed to me on both those things time and time again by the Editor. There are several questions you can ask your first reader. To apply them, they are questions we will ask you about Fanfiction 101:

1. When did you feel that the narrative was lagging? This can help you find the more boring sections. As far as self-editing goes, your readers will feel what you feel. If you feel that something is dragging, the readers can pick up on that. If you don’t care about what you’re putting out you can’t expect the readers to care.

2. Did you notice any inconsistencies in the characters or the plot, times, or places? Consistency is key. If you have stated a truth or law of the world or principal for a character you should stick with it.

3. How did the balance of dialogue and description feel? Or, for stories like Fanfiction 101 the balance of examples and information. Some stories are dialogue-heavy, others are description-heavy and there should be a happy balance to avoid the dreaded, ‘show-don’t tell.’

4. Did you ever get confused as to who is speaking? This can help you figure out if you need to make a character’s voice more distinct, or if you need to add additional tags to let the reader keep track.

5. Were there any parts that confused or frustrated you? If so, what are they and why? On the flip side, are there any parts that made you laugh or that you enjoyed, and why?

Take one of these questions and answer it in your own words in the comments. This can give me and the Editor feedback on how to improve our writing. These questions aren’t written law. You don’t have to ask them when your secondary readers look over your work. However, someone who is not you should be reading your stories before you publish. You’ll catch lots of mistakes and flaws that way. Look to the people you trust; the people who will tell you what’s good. If you’re uncomfortable with having someone read your stories, read them to yourself out loud. You will catch your own mistakes, much like you’ll catch uncomfortable dialogue. If you desperately need a secondary reader, slide into my DMs. The Editor and I will happily take a look.

Super long author’s notes or author’s notes in the middle of work are unprofessional and tiresome. If you do intend on having author’s notes, limit yourself to a maximum of 3 sentences. The readers are not going to read author’s notes that are incredibly long, and the Editor and I have encountered author’s notes that are longer than the actual chapter. That’s too much breaking of the third wall. Notes like, “didn’t have time to check the spelling/grammar lolzr sorry!” Get Grammarly. It’s free. Notes in the middle of the text take the reader out of the immersion and show me as a reader that you aren’t confident enough to convey what you want to. My Immortal is filled with author’s notes smack dab in the middle of the text. Don’t be like My Immortal. If we’ve taught you anything, be better than My Immortal.

Finally, let’s talk about plagiarism. Fanfiction is copywritten work. Sometimes very very popular stories will be copied almost word for word. Or, the premise is the exact same and only the character has changed. This is not okay. It’s fine to read a story and be super impressed, but you don’t have the right to copy someone’s work. Another thing that isn’t cute is pretending you have no idea what someone’s talking about. If your story opens with the main character fighting a Minotaur and killing it with its own horn, don’t lie to the audience and pretend that you’ve never read the Percy Jackson series. The readers are not stupid, don’t treat them as such. If you are inspired by another work or story, link the original at the end.

So that’s it. Next week we will post the final exam of Fanfiction 101. It’s comprehensive, covering all 9 units. The Editor and I want to first and foremost thank everyone for sticking with us and coming back every Sunday to see what we have to say. From two people who have read and written a lot of fanfiction, we wanted to share our knowledge and help whomever we could with simple mistakes and errors. Thank you, for reading. Our final exam is next week, and we will have one more post to discuss the future of Fanfiction 101. We’ll see you then.

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cycwrites · 5 years

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Still Falling - A Fic Tease

The Return of the Nowish Fic Teases! This one is a series of Staubrey scenes from a story I plan on writing called “Proposals, Weddings and Promises.” Did I call it that JUST so I can shorten it to PWP? Maybe… That story will, eventually, be both the Bechloe and Staubrey weddings from proposals to final dance (and maybe honeymoon). But for now have a much delayed Staubrey Week 2019 entry.

Plus I hurt my soul writing Can’t Help Falling and this was my way to get past it.

Edited to add that it takes place post-Worlds and pre-Nowish.

As always, thank you to @tiny-maus-boots for being the Master Beta, editor and sounding board.

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 6834

On AO3 with my other Fic Teases.

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~S~

Friday, January 15th 2016

“Stacie! Did you call to give me more embarrassing stories about my sister? Please tell me yes!”

Stacie laughed as she adjusted the phone against her ear. “Sorry to disappoint you, Aiden. She’s been on her best behavior.”

He snorted. “That’ll be the day.”

“True.” Stacie leaned back in her office chair. “Despite the pressure of school, I’m glad she seems to have… relaxed… a lot the past couple months.” While the move to LA had been stressful, Aubrey still wasn’t even close to the ball of tension she’d been since Stacie had met her. The visit to the Posen estate over Thanksgiving – and spending time with her brothers – had been exactly what Aubrey had needed to unwind.

“Me too,” he said sincerely. “The past few years she’s been… She’s had…” Aiden trailed off, obviously trying not to be offensive.

“A stick up her ass?” Stacie grinned.

“Your words, not mine.” Stacie could almost see him hold up his hand as if to ward off a blow. “I don’t want her to hit me; it stings like the dickens.” She heard him close a door and the background murmur she’d been hearing cut off. “Everything okay though? Did you have a good birthday last week?”

“Yeah, we’re great and yes I did. Thank you for the picture. I love it.” Asher and Aiden had sent along a baby picture of Aubrey’s that Stacie had fallen in love with the second she saw it in Aubrey’s bedroom. In it a very serious faced Aubrey was standing stiffly at attention, saluting the General who stood opposite her. He was saluting her back, every inch the perfect soldier; but even in profile and only able to see one eye, the pride and love he felt for his daughter was obvious.

“You’re welcome. You know Asher and I consider you family.”

Stacie squirmed in her chair, caught between pleasure at the words and a lifetime of avoiding anything like them. “Thanks.” It felt lame, but it was still hard to express certain things with anyone but Aubrey. “I… feel the same way.” She rolled her eyes at herself. ‘Real warm, Conrad.’

When she’d set her mind to wooing Aubrey, Stacie hadn’t considered the fact that she would also be accepting the Posen’s as a family into her life as well. Which she should have because she knew how close Aubrey and her brothers were. It wasn’t that she didn’t like them, she did – though she was pretty sure Mother Posen didn’t approve of her – but she had no idea how to express any of it. Except to Aubrey, where she felt safe enough to talk about anything.

“Sorry,” he said cheerfully. “I forgot you’re not big on the feels. Bossy will change that soon enough. With a little teasing – I mean help – from her older and wiser brothers.”

“I have no doubt,” she said with another laugh, feeling the discomfort fade. They really had made her, and Beca, feel like family at Thanksgiving. She didn’t think it would be long before she loved them as much as her own brother.

“I’m sure you didn’t call me just so I could tease you.” She heard him settle into his own chair.

“Not exactly.” Stacie took a measured breath. “Do you think General Posen would give me the recipe for his BBQ sauce?” As she expected there was a long pause.

“I dunno Stacie, the General considers that classified information.” Aiden hesitated. “I mean, you definitely impressed all of us with how much you knew about marinades and dry rubs…” He paused and Stacie heard what had to be a stifled snicker.

“No wonder you and Beca got along so well.” Stacie laughed. “You both live in the gutter.” She ignored Beca’s voice in the back of her head that asked ‘Would you like to be pot or kettle?’

Despite the inappropriately hilarious innuendos, there had been a very intense discussion on all things barbeque over Thanksgiving: The best brands of BBQ’s, best ways to prepare all the various things you could cook on them and then the actual cooking process itself. After twenty minutes Beca had escaped to the kitchen, ostensibly to see if she could help but Stacie knew that she was really hoping to steal something to snack on. Beca still hadn’t developed any real cooking skills beyond breakfast and all the talk of food prep had only served to make her even hungrier and dinner was still at least an hour away. Plus she’d begun to look pained with the effort of not laughing during the dry rub discussion and Stacie imagined she’d paused somewhere to giggle uncontrollably before finding the others.

“Guilty as charged.” He said with another laugh before picking up where he’d left off. “But he hasn’t even hinted at what’s in it to any of us. I don’t even think Mom knows.”

Stacie sighed and played with the pencil sitting on the desk in front of her. “I know Aiden, but if I’ve learned one thing over the past few years, you never know unless you ask.”

“That’s a fair point.” She heard him hum under his breath and could almost picture him purse his lips exactly like Aubrey did when she was considering something big.

“I just… I wanted to give Aubrey a surprise. She followed the three of us to LA without hesitation and…”

“Is she unhappy?” He asked it quick, but she could tell he wasn’t really worried. “She seemed fine at Thanksgiving.”

“No, nothing like that.” Stacie shook her head even though he couldn’t see her. “School has been kicking her ass, just a little, and… She’s got an interview in a few weeks at the law firm Beca’s label uses, to be an intern, and when she gets it, I wanted to surprise her with a taste of home.”

“I knew you were mushy at heart.” Aiden teased but she heard brotherly pride and approval in it.

“Only when your sister is involved,” Stacie said easily.

“Aw, now you’re just buttering me up so I’ll do it,” he accused.

“Guilty.” Stacie cradled her phone to her ear. “Did it work?”

“Of course it did.” He snorted. “I’m her big brother and making her happy is coded into my DNA.”

“I know the feeling,” Stacie muttered and flushed when he laughed. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“If it’s cool, I’ll give Dad your number and have him call you. Is it okay that I tell him why you’re asking?”

“Of course, I expected nothing less.” Stacie felt herself relax, only then realizing that she’d been tense since she’d made the decision to call and picked up her cell.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’m sure he’ll at least call you to say no.” He laughed again. “Of course, if he says yes you know I expect to have you share with me.”

“Aiden,” Stacie sat up and leaned her elbows on her desk. “If he hasn’t given it to you, I’m sure as hell not going to go against him and give it to you if he entrusts me with it.”

“Aubrey always did pick the smart ones,” Aiden said. “Alright, Stacie. I’ll call Dad tonight when I know he’s not in the office anymore. Not sure when he’ll call you though.”

“That’s fine. Thanks, Aiden.” Stacie closed her eyes in relief. She’d been afraid he’d refuse outright because she was an outsider. In hindsight, she should’ve known better; Aiden and Asher had welcomed her in with arms wide open when Aubrey had first told them they were dating. Hell, at Thanksgiving she’d been treated exactly like Aubrey from the second they’d arrived - like a younger sister with all the teasing that accompanied it. It had been strange to realize that she’d already felt almost as comfortable with Aubrey’s brothers as she did with her own. It had also made her miss Derek and she’d gone to see him the following weekend.

“Anytime, Stacie. I hate to say it, but I do have to go. Army never rests and all that.” She heard him sigh. “I hope to be able to come visit soon”

“It’s okay, I understand. My lunch break is almost over anyway. And we would love you to visit.” Stacie eyed the clock, wishing she was already off work and headed for the condo. “Tell Asher hi for me, will ya?”

“’Course.” She heard someone knock on the door in the background and Aiden’s voice quieted as he turned his head away. “I’ll be out in a minute.” He came back to the phone. “Be good and don’t let Bossy live up to her name.”

“But what if I like it when she does?” Stacie couldn’t help herself and grinned at the gagging sound he made.

“Nope! No! HangingupnowbyeStacie.” He said in a rush.

“Laters, Aide,” Stacie said as the line went dead. “So easy.”

Standing she put her phone in her lab coat pocket and stretched. “Now I just have to convince the General to give up a family secret to an unknown. No big deal. Piece of cake.”

Leaving her office for the lab, Stacie spared one final thought before she put it away. It would do no good to dwell while she waited to hear from Aubrey’s father. ‘Please let this work.’

~S~

Sunday, January 17th, 2016

When her phone rang, Stacie almost ignored it. She usually screened unknown numbers by letting them go to voicemail and calling them back if it was a legitimate call. Except she didn’t have the General’s number and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to call him back. With a quick glance to make sure she was alone – completely unnecessary as Aubrey had gone to the store for dinner supplies – she forced her nerves away and answered. “Stacie Conrad.”

“Stacie.” The General’s gruff voice filled her ear. “How are you?”

“I’m great, Sir. I hope your weekend has been good.” She had never been good with parents and rolled her eyes at her stilted words.

“Passing well. Lydia didn’t have any events this weekend so we’ve just been rattling around the house.” He let out a chuckle. “But I’ll spare you the boring details of two old people filling their days and just hop right into it.” He paused and Stacie took a quiet breath, bracing herself as she sat at their kitchen table. “I hear you want some classified information.”

Despite the smile she could hear in his voice, Stacie’s tension grew as the moment she’d been thinking of for two months finally arrived. “Actually, Sir, the recipe is sort of secondary to why I wanted to talk to you.” She took another breath. “I’m sorry I wasn’t one hundred percent truthful with Aiden, but I wanted to do this right.” The hand not holding her phone began to ache and she forced herself to relax the fist she hadn’t realized she’d been making in her lap, resting it palm down on the table.

“And that is?” Thankfully he sounded curious instead of angry.

“I want to ask Aubrey to marry me and I was hoping to get your blessing Sir, General Posen, Sir.” She stared at her left hand where it pressed into the wood so hard her fingertips blanched white. ‘Maybe that was overkill…’

“I see.” It was completely neutral, no hint of anything she’d been expecting: surprise, disapproval or anything in between.

Her heart, which had already been trying to pound its way from between her ribs, tripled in speed. She would have licked her lips to wet them but her mouth had gone dry. “I realize that we’ve only been together for a short time, but I have loved Aubrey for years even though I didn’t realize it.” She wished she had some water but she didn’t trust her legs to hold her up. “I never thought – I never planned to fall in love. So I didn’t recognize what I was feeling as anything more than fondness. Until a year ago when I…” She trailed off with a self-deprecating laugh. “Until I couldn’t hide from my truth anymore.”

“That you loved Aubrey.” He made it a statement not a question and still there was no hint of what he might be thinking.

“Yes, General Posen.” Stacie shifted in her chair. “By the time I realized it, I thought it was too late… She was dating Thad, had even brought him home.” There was a small sound through the phone but she couldn’t tell if it was because the General had approved or disapproved of Aubrey’s boyfriend. “But then I got this second chance to prove to her what I’d spent all that time hiding from myself. That I love her with everything I am or ever will be.”

Stacie forced herself to take a breath, feeling lightheaded from all the emotions bouncing around inside her. She tried not to read too much into the fact that the General hadn’t said anything at all; he was military, he was a man who needed all the facts to make his decisions and likely rarely gave in to his emotions. Stacie understood it – Aubrey was the same way, though she was listening to her emotions more – and could respect it. She’d been planning different versions of this speech since Thanksgiving.

“So while I realize and appreciate that it could look like I’m moving too fast, that I’m setting us up for failure… I don’t want to waste any more time in starting the rest of my life with the only person I have ever – will ever – love.” She heard her throat click as she swallowed dryly, determined to get the rest of it out before she had her nervous breakdown.

“I know I’m not… what you and Mrs. Posen had envisioned for your daughter as you watched her grow up into the beautiful woman she is today. I know we come from two different worlds…” Stacie trailed off. “But I love her. And I promise to cherish Aubrey as the amazing woman she is for every second of the rest of our life together. Forever. It’s not a word I use lightly – one I never thought I would use at all. But it’s what I want with everything that I am.” She hesitated. “I just hope that I can live up to the way Aubrey loves me; prove to her every day that she didn’t make a mistake in choosing me.”

Stacie let herself fall silent; there was nothing left to do but wait for his answer.

As the silence grew, her heart fell. She knew she wasn’t good enough – not yet – for Aubrey, but she thought that the Posen’s had accepted her over the holidays. At least enough that when she’d realized she was going to ask Aubrey to marry, Stacie knew she had to do it the right way from the start. And in Aubrey’s world, that meant asking her father… Except he still hadn’t said anything and each passing second felt like a stone in her heart.

Even if he refused, Stacie still planned to propose to Aubrey; there wasn’t a force on Earth that could prevent that from happening. She’d had the ring since the beginning of November, already knowing that Aubrey was her future, but had only recently solidified how she wanted to propose. They were meant to be, she knew that now, so while Stacie didn’t really worry that Aubrey would say no – brief moments of insecurity aside – she didn’t want to be the cause of a rift between Aubrey and her family.

“And the recipe?” His voice startled her from her musings.

“She told me that, as a child, she loved barbeque nights. Because that meant you were home.” Stacie didn’t think Aubrey would mind her sharing this secret, but she still wanted to squirm a little. “And I want to show her that I… want… to be her home. Because she is mine.”

There was another long silence before he spoke again.

“Do you have pen and paper handy?”

“Yes, Sir!” Too afraid to let herself hope, Stacie scrambled to stretch out an arm that had become leaden with nerves and pull over the notepad they used for groceries.

"First, I want to remind you that if you give this to any of my children, I will both be disappointed and then lock you away in a bunker for treason.” Amusement laced his voice though there was something else underneath it.

She nodded before remembering he couldn’t see her. “Of course. I would expect nothing less. But I promise I’ll guard it with my life.”

“I know you will.” This was said softer and Stacie knew they weren’t talking about barbeque sauce anymore. He cleared his throat. “As you know, we go for a sweeter taste up here in Northern Virginia, so it’s more tomato based. But the real trick is to make sure you let it sit for a night after you mix it all together and then heat it slowly when you’re ready.”

“Got it.” Stacie said as he gave her the ingredients, taking meticulous notes in a shorthand she had made up in college. The last thing she wanted was for Aubrey to find it and ruin the surprise.

As he spoke, silent tears tracked down her face, moved beyond words at the unspoken but unmistakable approval of her as a partner for Aubrey.

~S~

Sunday, February 14th, 2016

Stacie was sure she was going to throw up.

The tension in her body had grown all day and now that the moment of truth was almost here, she wasn’t sure she could eat the dinner she’d spent the day preparing.

On Saturday she’d been spared coming up with an excuse to get Aubrey out of the house by Beca insisting that Aubrey go with her for a last minute gift consultation. Apparently she’d bought something for Chloe and decided that maybe she’d picked up the wrong thing – earrings versus bracelet, if Stacie heard right – so Stacie had had several hours free to mix together the recipe given to her by the General the month before.

Chloe, who Stacie had confided in three weeks before, had stored the various ingredients Stacie picked up in preparation. It was a testament to how nervous Stacie was that she hadn’t realized one simple fact until Chloe pointed it out: Putting together the incredibly complicated recipe was essentially chemistry and who better to replicate it than an actual chemist? Chloe had also offered moral support as Stacie had carefully measured and poured, more focused on getting everything correct, more meticulous than she even was in her lab.

Once she was done, Stacie had sealed it tightly and wrapped plain brown paper around the container and neatly printed “Aubrey Keep Out” on it with a smiley face and a heart. She knew that single command to stay away would drive Aubrey absolutely insane for the next day but she’d also respect Stacie’s desire to surprise her.

“She’s going to love it.” Chloe put her hand on Stacie’s shoulder as she closed the fridge. “Even without the marinating, that test taste definitely tasted like the sauce I remember from the last time I was there.”

“Yeah?” Stacie turned to clean up the mess she’d littered over the kitchen counters. “You’re not just saying that?”

“You know better.” Chloe shoulder bumped her. “It’ll be perfect.” She turned on the faucet and set it to warm so she could start rinsing plates to put them in the washer. “I knew you had a sappy side.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” Stacie started to gather her trash to throw out before Aubrey got home.

“Too late, they all know.” Chloe said easily.

Stacie just hoped that Aubrey wasn’t disappointed that they weren’t going out on their first official Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t a day that had meant anything to Stacie in the past, but like asking the General for Aubrey’s hand, it was one more thing she wanted to do right. And for what she had in mind, she didn’t want it to be in public. She wanted it to be just for them. So she’d asked Aubrey if it would be alright if she made them a home cooked meal and she had immediately agreed.

Now, after cooking the ribs for several hours and then slathering sauce on one side and then the other for another half, Stacie carried two plates out to the table Aubrey had finished setting out on their balcony.

“I know it’s not a glamorous restaurant, but I wanted to try and give you something special for our first Valentine’s Day together. I know I can’t really match it, but you said how much you miss home cooked barbeque, so I thought…”

“I love it.” Aubrey interrupted her rambling and put her hand on Stacie’s. “I love you.” She took her seat. “It smells amazing, love.” Aubrey had kept coming out to the balcony to sniff over her shoulder, something Stacie had allowed until it was time to sauce them.

Stacie’s mouth was dry again and she wished she could gulp the beer Aubrey had poured earlier. “Thanks.” She sat on the edge of her chair, surreptitiously wiping her hands on her napkin she draped over her lap. “Guess it’s the moment of truth.”

Aubrey picked up her glass and held it up. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Stacie.”

“Happy Valentine’s, Bree.” Stacie gratefully lifted her glass and clinked it gently against hers. “There is nowhere else I want to be than with you.”

Aubrey’s voice softened. “Me either.” She reached her free hand over and rested it on Stacie’s arm while they both sipped their beer. Setting down her glass she looked at her plate. “I still can’t believe you cooked this all day.”

Stacie took another small drink, for courage and moisture. “It wasn’t that much trouble. Just let it sit and do its thing ‘til it’s time to turn it and poke it with a fork to see if it’s done.” She couldn’t figure out what to do with her hands and felt she was dangerously close to turning into Beca with her gestures, so she put them in her lap where her fingers twisted tightly together.

Nothing in her life had been more important than this moment; than the woman sitting bathed in sunlight that lit the highlights in her hair and brought out the sparkles in her eyes. It was more than living up to the legacy left to her by her grandmother’s rose quartz, a fact she knew would amuse Gran endlessly. She could almost feel her Gran’s hand on her hair and the loving way she’d have told Stacie ‘I told you one day you’d need it.’

Aubrey shot her a glance out of the corner of her eye, her lips curling into a smile. “The anticipation is killing you, isn’t it?”

“You have no idea,” Stacie muttered.

“Aw, baby.” Aubrey shook her head. “Alright, I’ll put you out of your misery.” Like any true connoisseur of fine barbeque, Aubrey picked up one of the ribs with her fingers and delicately took a bite, her eyes closing to savor the moment. Stacie, watching closely, saw the second realization hit. Aubrey’s eyes flew open and met hers. “Stacie?” Aubrey took another, bigger bite, and Stacie felt relief wash over her even as she smiled at the smear of sauce that ended up across Aubrey’s cheek.

“Yes?” She strived for nonchalance and leaned back in her chair, her left hand dipping into the band of her skirt where she’d stored the small box she’d had for months, waiting for her heart to actually break through her ribs.

“This is… Dad’s… how did…?” Aubrey took a third bite instead of continuing. “It’s perfect, love.” Her eyes closed again, a hum of pure contented enjoyment coming from her throat as Stacie reached out and wiped away the sauce with her thumb. “He hasn’t even given us that recipe. How?”

Stacie slipped from her chair and knelt on one knee. “He gave it to me the day I asked his permission to marry the love of my life.” She opened the box and waited. It wasn’t that she was worried about a no… except she’d been wrong before. At the retreat. And she didn’t know what would happen if she was wrong again.

Aubrey’s fingers opened in shock, dropping the rib back to her plate as she turned to face where Stacie had been sitting before turning shocked emerald eyes downward. Her mouth opened but no words came out as she took in the ring before her.

“Aubrey Marie Posen,” Stacie said, her voice shaking from the strength of the love coursing through her veins. “I didn’t know it, but I have loved you since the night of the riff-off and I watched you laugh at a horror movie.”

Aubrey’s hand reached up to trace her throat, fingers looking for a Bella scarf that hadn’t been there in years. Stacie smiled gently at her; wanting so much to reach out and touch her reassuringly and hoping one day to make that nervous tick a thing of the past.

“It took me too long to realize it and I’m sorry.” She licked her lips again. “I know we’ve only lived together for a short time, but I don’t want to wait any longer to start our life together.”

Aubrey’s eyes flickered from the ring to Stacie’s eyes, wondering and filled with something Stacie couldn’t pin down. Her hands wanted to shake from nervousness but she willed them to behave as she waited for Aubrey to say something.

Instead, Aubrey frantically wiped her hands on her napkin, turning away slightly and Stacie’s heart stuttered in its wild beat, wondering if she’d been wrong, if this wasn’t the time… But Aubrey merely pulled something from underneath a second napkin that Stacie hadn’t realized was sitting on one of the empty chairs. Stacie looked down as the small box that mirrored her own was opened and balanced in one delicate palm.

Everything inside her went calm and still as she met Aubrey’s watery gaze with her own.

“Yes.”

~S~

Thursday, August 18th, 2016

“I told you she was going to cry.”

“Beca!” Amy threw a small handful of rice at Beca where she sat at the piano. “Even I know you’re not supposed to say that during a wedding rehearsal. It’s expected that the bride cries.”

“Then you should also know that you don’t actually need to bring rice to the rehearsal.” Beca shot back, unable to wipe off the ones that had landed on her shoulder. “It’s also not nice to throw things at the pianist.”

“Did you just call yourself a penis?” Amy asked incredulously. “What else about you do I not know?”

Stacie grinned as Chloe broke off singing and began to laugh. “I’ve missed you, Amy.”

“Because I’m fun.” Amy shrugged and threw a few more pieces of rice at Beca. “Even when my friends keep secrets from me.”

“Oh my god.” Beca stopped playing and covered her face though Stacie knew it was to hide her grin. “There are no secrets, Amy.”

Stacie looked back up the aisle as Aubrey walked toward them, clearly torn between amusement and annoyance. Amusement won as Stacie reached for the box of Kleenex she had kept close.

“Like we’d trust you to tell the truth.” Aubrey took the tissue Stacie handed her and wiped at her face. “We’ll have to ask Chloe if we want answers.”

“Oh, well.” Chloe said, covering the microphone confidentially. “In that case…”

“Do not.” Beca turned on the piano bench and pointed a finger. “Do not give Amy any ammunition to make things up.”

“Oh, Beca.” Ashley shook her head. “Don’t you know that just fuels us more?”

“Did you really need all of them tonight?” Beca looked at Aubrey. “Like, couldn’t we have just used chairs since only Chloe and I are moving around during the procession?”

“Nope.” Aubrey said cheerfully. “It’s my wedding, I get to do what I want.”

“Bridezilla.” Beca winced as Chloe backhanded her shoulder lightly. “We’ve been married not even four months and the abuse starts.”

“Like we don’t know you love it.” Jessica grinned at her.

“Guys – maybe not in front of the parents?” Aubrey cleared her throat. “Chlo, Beca, do you guys mind going through it one more time?”

Beca answered first. “Of course not, Aubrey.”

“Thanks, DJ.” Stacie smiled at Beca before turning to give Aubrey a kiss on the cheek. “I think that last pacing was fine, love.”

“Thanks.” Aubrey squeezed her hand before joining her father to walk back down the aisle and out of the room.

After one last look around to make sure everyone was in place, Beca began to play “Can’t Help Falling in Love." As Chloe started to sing, Aubrey and the General reappeared in the doorway and made their way down the aisle.

At first Stacie wasn’t sure the song was appropriate; it had broken her heart when Aubrey had told her what had happened after their single night together in college. It hurt her in ways she wouldn’t have dreamed possible to think of Aubrey standing in the Bella living room, listening to this song and burying all her feelings. When Stacie had come back downstairs, she’d had no idea that Aubrey had been crying minutes before and learning about it had brought Stacie to tears.

But over the past few months, Aubrey had convinced Stacie that it would turn the song into something wonderful instead of a painful memory. “Besides, it’s my truth. I tried not to... but I couldn’t help falling in love with you.”

Now, watching Aubrey walk toward her, Stacie knew it was her truth too.

And tomorrow, finally, they would belong to each other and she’d never let Aubrey go.

~Amy~

Friday, August 19th, 2016

Amy took the microphone off the stand and looked over the reception room.

“As is tradition, the two brides will have their first dance and they’ve given me the honor of singing it for them.” She waited as the room erupted into whistles and cheers before looking over at the table behind her. “So, if you two would please stop snogging for two seconds and make your way to the dance floor?” The cheers became catcalls as a half blushing, all smiles Aubrey was led to the center of the room by a grinning Stacie.

Amy took a deep, steadying breath and, with one last glance around at her sisters, began to sing “Still Falling For You” by Ellie Goulding. There was no music or instruments, they were aca-people after all, but her voice was steady and smooth. While she’d been practicing this song almost daily for two months, she was still afraid she’d screw it up. Rationally, she knew no one would care but she would feel terrible even as she pretended to laugh it off.

Fire and ice This love is like fire and ice This love is like rain and blue skies This love is like sun on the rise This love got me rolling the dice Don't let me lose Still falling for you Still falling for you

She couldn’t help but smile as she watched Stacie gently spin Aubrey, both of them lost in each other’s eyes. There had been bets amongst the Bellas on who would lead this first dance, but it hadn’t even been a thought in Aubrey’s head. Once she’d stopped running from her feelings, Aubrey had given everything she was to Stacie without hesitation – including putting Stacie’s name above her own.

Beautiful mind Your heart got a story with mine Your heart got me hurting at times Your heart gave me new kind of highs Your heart got me feeling so fine So what to do Still falling for you Still falling for you

There were a few low whistles as Stacie dipped Aubrey and kissed her, both of them motionless as they got lost in each other before Stacie righted them again. Aubrey pulled her close, her arms winding around Stacie’s neck as they moved in perfect sync.

It took us a while With every breath a new day With love on the line We've had our share of mistakes But all your flaws and scars are mine Still falling for you Still falling for you

It had definitely been a journey, watching the two of them circle each other over the past five years and Amy was honored to be part of their new beginning.

Amy had never been big on family, her own having devolved into a nightmare that drove her away once her mother passed, but she had begun to realize that the women sitting on either side of the head table behind her were just that. So it didn’t surprise her that when she reached the chorus, eight voices joined her own, filling the space around her with music. Because of course they would. Unrehearsed. Without thought. No hesitation or even a question amongst them.

Aubrey and Stacie both looked up, eyes bright and shining in the dim light, their smiles flashing as the Bellas sung them into this new phase of their life. Their voices lifted and weaved, announcing to everyone in the room how much they loved the couple gliding smoothly across the center of the room.

And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me I'm in And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do I'm still falling for you

Stacie and Aubrey looked around at them, their eyes bright and shining with unshed tears and shocked wonder. Amy could relate as she felt goosebumps on her arms as a rush of adrenaline hit her. They hadn’t talked about this, had never practiced singing this particular song together, but their voices lifted hers up and she felt she was starting to understand why people cried at weddings.

Family. This was her chosen one and she would lay down her life for any one of them. Even Legacy.

While they stopped singing for the next stanza, they kept the beat with snaps as Lilly provided the bass, letting Amy take the lead once more.

Brighter than gold This love shining brighter than gold This love is like letters in bold This love is like out of control This love is never growing old You make it new Still falling for you Still falling for you

It took us a while 'Cause we were young and unsure With love on the line What if we both would need more But all your flaws and scars are mine Still falling for you Still falling for you Still falling for you

Amy thought the song was definitely the perfect choice for the two of them. They had been fire and ice; they had both been young and unsure. But even Amy had figured out by the ICCAs that there was more to the two of them than just Captain and Bella. Of course, Amy herself had been young and stupid and hadn’t given it much thought until that last Thanksgiving at the Bella house. Even then she’d not realized the depth of their emotions, both of them too adept at hiding it at that point. But seeing them together over the past two weeks leading up to the wedding… Aubrey was like a completely different person. Or, rather, she was the person they’d only caught glimpses of that first year; completely relaxed, open and… Amy smiled to herself as Aubrey laughed at something Stacie whispered in her ear. Someone not afraid to let go.

The rest of the Bellas joined her for the chorus again and Amy realized that they were approaching the end of the song.

And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me I'm in And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do Still falling for you Falling, crash into my arms Love you like this Like a first kiss Never let go Falling, crash into my arms Never breaking what we got Still falling for you Still falling for

There was a breathless pause before they gave it their all and Amy was glad this was being recorded because she never wanted to forget a second of how connected to them all she felt in this instant.

And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me I’m in And just like that All I breathe All I feel You are all for me All for me

Then, one by one, their voices fell silent until only Amy’s remained.

And just like that All I feel is you All I feel is you You are all for me I’m still falling And just like that All I feel is you All I feel is you

As she sang the last few lines she fought to keep from tensing up.

Amy had been waiting for this moment for five very long weeks. She had told no one the plan and while she may have been a safe that locks there were just some things that begged to be shared. But she’d held off and now that the moment was here she couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces.

Stacie and Aubrey had slowly been moving around the floor, whispering and nuzzling each other, but over the last few lines they had drifted to stand in front of Amy.

Amy took a breath, hoping no one thought anything of her pause before singing the last few lines of the song, as she casually held the mic out further than she had been.

“You are all for me.”

Stacie and Aubrey sang it together, both their faces going almost comically slack in shock, before identical smiles of pure joy lit up the room. Stacie cupped Aubrey’s face with both hands as the two of them finished the song together.

No one can lift me, catch me the way that you do I’m still falling for you

Aubrey pulled her in and kissed her while the room went still around them. Amy stepped to the side, leaving them alone and hoped the photographer was on the ball and capturing this moment of sheer perfection.

Stacie had come to her with the idea first: “So, if Bree and I happen to end up in front of you at the end of the song, do you think you could hold the mic out for me to sing the last bit?”

Amy had agreed and immediately called Stacie whipped – affectionately, of course.

Aubrey had called her a week later: “Would it be crazy if I wanted to sing the last three lines at the end of the dance?”

Amy almost laughed, except she knew Aubrey would assume Amy was laughing at her and that was the last thing she wanted. So she’d choked it back and told Aubrey it wasn’t crazy at all and she’d be happy to hold the mic out for her if she could get Stacie there.

She’d obviously heard about their double proposal and the fact that they both had the exact same idea about their first dance song proved that they were obviously meant for each other. It had killed her not to share this secret with Beca but some things were better as surprises. Speaking of…

Amy turned and looked where Beca and Chloe had been sitting and couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of her – thankfully she’d turned the mic off when she’d stepped out of the way, she’d have hated to ruin the still ongoing kiss but she couldn’t help it. Beca was full on ugly crying as she held tightly to Chloe’s hand; not that Chloe was beyond that herself, but the only other time Amy had seen Beca cry this hard was at her own wedding.

Not that Amy was one to talk. She took the tissue that Lilly held out to her and dabbed at her cheeks as the entire reception room filled with a roar of approval as the brides finally separated, even if it was only to rest their foreheads together.

Amy cleared her throat and turned on her mic.

“Ladies, gentlemen… And Trebles.” She only waved as good natured jeers came from the far side of the room. “I present to you Mrs. & Mrs. Posen-Conrad.”

Family.

Amy thought it again as the noise grew deafening but the Bellas were still louder than the rest as they stood up and cheered at their tables.

My family.

-------

(x)

#Staubrey #Stacie Conrad #Aubrey Posen #Pitch Perfect Fanfic #wlw #Beca Mitchell #Chloe Beale #Barden Bellas #Fat Amy #A Shared Lifetime #cyc writes #cyc fic tease

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hot-tae-with-suga · 5 years

Text

This Looks Bad || 3

Summary: Taehyung and I were just horsing around, but someone took a picture, and now everyone thinks I’m cheating on my boyfriend Namjoon with one of his best friends. Which I’m not, because I don’t (let myself) think of Tae that way. And neither does Namjoon. Right?

Reader (1st person unnamed femme OC)/Namjoon/Taehyung

Idol AU

36.2K total || Rated M || Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3 || Masterlist

Genre: fluff / smut / angst with happy ending || Warnings: Misunderstandings, Failure to Communicate, Bisexual characters, Threesome, Smut

Originally Posted 2019-03-29

Thank you so so so much to my editor S, and my wonderful betas from the JAG discord (L, V, and D)

45 Days P.I. (10 days after deciding to give it a chance)

By the next Wednesday, I was a nervous wreck again. This time over my thesis defense, rather than the relationship issues that had been plaguing me for weeks.

I had prepared as much as I could, spending hours memorizing the smallest details of my results and analysis, and practicing answering potential panel questions with Namjoon on the phone. I knew I was as ready as I could be, but I was still pacing outside the door to the conference room when Joon and Tae arrived.

They each had hats, sunglasses, and masks on, which wasn't an unusual look for students, but they both had that confident air about them that drew onlookers’ eyes. Thankfully the mathematics building wasn't a particularly popular destination, so they were unlikely to be noticed.

Namjoon pulled down his mask and gave me a quick kiss, and Tae hugged me with a tight squeeze.

"We're not too late, are we? You haven't gone in already?" Namjoon asked, noting the empty seats that had been set up outside the conference room for participants to wait.

I shook my head. "No, you're just in time. The last student ran a little late and just got their verdict, so my panel just got inside to settle in. They should be calling me in-" I was interrupted by the conference room door opening and my advisor beckoning me inside.

"Are you ready?" she asked as I got closer, and I nodded. "And these two are with you?" Her eyebrows shot up when she realized who I had brought with me. She'd known I was dating Namjoon, but it had never really come up between us, as he hadn't had any reason to visit me on campus before.

The four of us walked into the room and Namjoon squeezed my hand tight before releasing it to take a seat with Taehyung at the far end of the long table, while my advisor and I went to the other end, where a podium had been set up. The panel for my thesis, 4 tenured professors from my and other local universities, plus my advisor, ignored the audience and turned to me, asking if I was ready.

The next hour and a half was a haze in my memory; I only knew it was tough but my nearly obsessive preparation had paid off. I was able to mostly answer every question, and my advisor smiled proudly by the time I was wrapping up.

Once my defense was concluded, I stepped outside with Namjoon and Taehyung so the panel could deliberate and make their decision. I was warned it might take as long as half an hour, or even more, so I returned to pacing the hall.

"Babe, don't worry! You did amazing in there," Namjoon assured me, grabbing me by both hands in an attempt to make me stop walking and start to calm down.

"Yah, noona, you sounded so smart. The guys in there looked super impressed," Tae added. "I didn't really understand what you were talking about, to be fair, but math has never been my strong suit."

"Statistics, Tae-ah," I corrected. "Not math. Well, kind of math, but also sometimes not really?" Between the two of them they pulled me over to the uncomfortable chairs and sat me down with one of them on each side, physically restraining me from getting back up or even from anxiously bouncing my leg.

The panel only deliberated for twenty minutes in the end, and we were all invited back in. We resumed the positions we'd occupied before we'd left, with them seated at the end of the table and me behind the podium.

As soon as I heard the words, "We have determined that you have passed this defense and you will be awarded your doctorate in statistical mathematics," the rest of what the panel chair was saying faded into static. I could see Joon's giant grin and my advisor's proud smile, so I knew he was complimenting me, but I couldn't hear it over the rushing in my ears.

I shook each of the panelists’ hands and thanked them for their time and effort. The last one in the line, Dr. Jeong, a man in his 40's who I had only met once when he was introduced as a member of my panel, stopped me as I moved toward the door. "Don't tell me you'll sneak out before introducing your guests, miss?" he said slyly, and I knew he must have recognized my boyfriends. They'd removed their disguises, since sitting in a stuffy room for an hour and a half was torture enough. Plus, it had made it easier for me to see their encouraging faces as I answered the panel's questions.

I bowed and made introductions, the eldest panelist in the room obviously unaware of exactly who Namjoon and Taehyung were to their endless amusement. My advisor quietly asked them for their autographs, which they added to the page she'd been using for notes during my questioning, a fact that I found strangely amusing.

"You must be very proud," Dr. Jeong said to Namjoon, nodding in my direction. "She's a compliment to your own impressive intellect. I was quite a fan of yours when you appeared on Problematic Man, you know."

The way he said it struck me as strange, and it must have done to Namjoon as well, as he replied with, "She’s smart enough for both of us. I might be able to solve a few problems on a silly game show, but her mind blows me away every single day." He spoke to the professor, but his eyes were on me. "I'm so proud and amazed by what she's accomplished, and most of the time I count my lucky stars that she's with a dummy like me." I smiled at his compliment, and we bid the panel goodbye and took our leave.

As soon as we were out of the hallway and headed for the main staircase, Namjoon started muttering as he put his mask back on. "Can you believe that guy? I was ready to punch him!"

I was shocked to hear him speak that way, as was Taehyung, both of us looking to Namjoon for further explanation. "What do you mean? Which guy? One of the panelists?"

"Dr. Jeong," Namjoon bit out. "I'm pretty sure he was trying to insinuate that I helped you with your thesis or something."

“Yeah, that guy was weird,” Taehyung agreed. “You’ve been working on the background for your thesis project since before you even met Joon-hyung.” He grabbed my hand and quickly kissed the back of it while we were still alone, giving me a proud smile.

I reviewed the conversation in my memory, shaking my head. "I'm sure he wasn't," I tried to placate them. "I think he was just trying to impress you by showing that he knew more about you than just your name, or something."

Namjoon put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer as we approached the doors out of the building. "If you say so, babe. Just, I dunno, don't take a position in his department, if he offers?" I rolled my eyes at his overprotective nature but nodded. "In any case, he continued, "we should celebrate. What do you say we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?"

Taehyung nodded eagerly, bouncing around us as we walked across the thankfully empty quad. "Yeah, let's go out! Maybe we can even go dancing after? We haven't been out in ages."

I rolled my eyes at his exuberance, but nodded. "Sure, if you guys are free."

47 Days P.I. (2 days after thesis defense)

The boys had an event scheduled the day after my defense, but they were able to clear time to take me out on Friday. I hadn't realized that Namjoon and Taehyung had intended to invite all the members of Bangtan, but I was delighted to celebrate with them all the same.

Having the whole group with us meant more security, but also more privacy since Joon had rented out the entire restaurant. Tae pestered all of us through the whole meal, trying to convince us to go out dancing once we were finished. Jimin and Hoseok both joined in his efforts, though Yoongi and Jungkook bowed out, claiming work and rest were more important.

The club we'd chosen for the night was getting crowded by the time we got there, so we mostly stuck to the VIP section we'd been given tables in rather than risking it in the writhing mass on the main floor. The six of us remaining ordered several rounds of drinks, and I lost count of the number of times we raised our glasses to cheer my success.

My head was spinning a bit, both due to the alcohol in my system and the way Namjoon and Taehyung were looking at me, making me squirm with anticipation. They both became bolder when we started dancing near the table, stepping closer to me and to each other, hands lingering on hips and shoulders, and heated glances all around. I was sure one of the members would say something, but when I looked they had all wandered down to the main floor and found dance partners of their own.

We danced and continued drinking for almost two more hours before I finally started whining about my shoes getting uncomfortable, and Namjoon gathered everyone to start heading home for the night. I was all set to grab a taxi back to my place, but Tae and Joon insisted I come back to the dorm with them, and I was too tipsy to disagree. We'd all switched to water before we'd left the club, but the heady floating feeling of the alcohol still ran through my veins. Tae was the closest to sober of any of us, his intense dislike of the taste of booze meant he went hard and fast at the beginning of the night but had stuck to soft drinks and water for the remainder of the evening.

"I'm kind of really looking forward to getting to sleep next to you again," I whispered in Taehyung's ear, the confession making me giggle. I was pressed between my two...suitors? Lovers didn't feel right when we’d hardly touched since our aborted surprise threesome, and while boyfriend was more accurate, it felt like it was too soon.

Tae turned his head and shot me a wicked smile, slowly easing his large hand onto my thigh and squeezing, slow enough to (hopefully) go undetected. I knew Joon had noticed when he mirrored Tae's actions, as well as leaning in to press an open mouthed kiss to my neck. It was all a bit overwhelming and made my head spin more than any amount of booze.

We finally reached the dorm building, and everyone piled out and shuffled upstairs. Hoseok reminded everyone to drink some more water before turning as we all said our good nights and made for whichever bed we were sleeping in.

As soon as the door to their bedroom closed behind us, both boys had their hands all over me. Namjoon reached for the zipper of my dress, but Taehyung pulled me against him before the clothing could slide off. His mouth slanted over mine, tongue demanding entrance as he kissed me so hard I nearly forgot to breathe.

"I've been dying to do that since last week," Tae confessed when he finally pulled away. "You have no idea how hard it is to know you want to kiss me but not be able to do it."

"Mmm," I hummed against his lips. "But it was certainly worth the wait."

Namjoon looked surprised. "You guys didn't even kiss after you talked? Taehyungie was looking so pleased with himself once we got back that I figured he'd at least made it to second base." I turned to swat at him playfully.

"Excuse me, weren't you the one who asked us to hold off because you wanted to be there?" I reminded him.

"Yeah, for the first time you fucked," he clarified, putting up his arms in self defense. "I didn't mean to put a hold on everything, I'm not the sex police."

I pouted. "Maybe it's for the best, I'm not sure I would have been able to stop myself once we got going."

"Mmm, me neither,” Tae admitted, looking a little guilty. He shook his head, as if to clear it. “We’re kinda drunk now, though…”

"I'm not that drunk," Namjoon insisted.

Tae rolled his eyes. "We’re all that drunk, Joon-hyung." I whined in protest; as much as the logical side of my brain agreed with his assessment, I had spent the entire night being intentionally seduced by these two men, and I was ready to pop.

Namjoon also made a noise of protest, his hands returning to the back of my dress and completely lowering the zipper before sliding his hands back up and pushing the straps off my shoulders. "Are you sure about that, Taetae?" he taunted his dongsaeng. "I think our girl needs a proper fucking." His hand followed the fabric of my dress as it slid down, past my bra and over my soft abdomen before resting over my panties. "She's so hot for us, so wet she's practically soaked through her panties."

I moaned, nodding my agreement with the direction Namjoon was trying to lure Taehyung. I reached up to tease my fingers over my own nipples, which were hard and pressing against the thin fabric of my undergarment. "A proper fucking is exactly what I need," I added. Tae groaned, balling his hands into fists and biting one to stifle the sound.

"I want to, you know how much I want to," Taehyung muttered. "So, so badly." He leaned forward to kiss me again, then pulled away and turned slightly to Namjoon, kissing him over my shoulder. I couldn't help the whimper I let out, I was too lost in my arousal to control it.

It was Namjoon's turn to groan in frustration. "Babe, those noises are just making it harder for me," he warned. I grinned and swiveled my hips back into him, feeling evidence of exactly how hard I was making it.

"Noona, pretty noona," Tae's words were sweet but his voice took a harder edge, beginning to sound a bit desperate. "I wouldn't do that, if I were you."

I looked up at the two of them, tall golden god-like mean who both looked back down at me with eyes darkened by lust. I wasn't sure if I should feel threatened or just aroused, but I licked my bottom lip deliberately before rolling my hips between them again.

Taehyung's hands gripped my hips and pulled me along with him as he walked backwards across the room, making me stumble as my foot caught on my dress, which had gathered around my ankles. I felt Namjoon reach down to disentangle me before following behind.

"I'm feeling a little underdressed here, guys," I commented, realizing I was down to my underwear while they were both still fully dressed. Once Tae reached the bed he'd been aiming for, he spun me around and used the momentum to push me down onto it. I didn't care which bed it was we'd landed on, only about the man crawling on top of me and laying a kiss onto my collarbone.

Namjoon hummed his approval of the younger man's move and pulled himself up onto the bed next to me. "I dunno, I'm a big fan of this look," he assured me, trailing fingers up and down my arm, leaving a path of goosebumps. I turned my head toward him and stared into his eyes until he got the hint and leaned forward to kiss me.

"Now," Tae said carefully, pushing himself up so that he could look at both Namjoon and I. "We’re all on the same page here, right? No one’s worried they’re being set up?"

I slapped at him lightly. "Ugh, don’t bring that up any more," I griped. "That has to be the least sexy threesome proposal ever."

Taehyung raised an eyebrow at me. "Hey, last time we were in this position you freaked out because our intentions were unclear. Just covering all my bases here."

"He has a point," Namjoon agreed, and earned another smack from me. "Hey, what's with all the violence tonight? You were never this prone to hitting me before."

"One annoying boyfriend, I could handle," I argued. "Two of them just makes me want to hit things."

Taehyung cleared his throat. "So, uh, is everybody on board? Do we need to grab some condoms or anything, or are we all clean?"

I shot him a look. "What happened to ‘we’re too drunk’, hmm?” I teased. He opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off. "In any case, I'd really like to get off at some point tonight, and I think you and Joonie would too." I accompanied my bold words with caresses on their still clothed erections, Tae's with my knee and Namjoon's by twisting my torso to reach my hand to his. Both boys gasped at the touches, and Namjoon chuckled.

"That's my girl, straight to the point," ha laughed, giving me a quick kiss to the temple.

"Our girl," Taehyung corrected quickly.

I rolled my hips and arched my back, desperate to remind them of what we were supposed to be doing together on this bed. "Yes, well, your girl has one of the world's hottest men between her legs and another at her side, and she'd really like to suck one of their dicks, if they're interested," I whined.

True to their natures, Taehyung froze in place at my invitation and Namjoon sprang into action, undoing his belt and divesting himself of his clothing as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, babe, how do you want me?" he asked. I sat up, shifting so I didn't push Taehyung off of me entirely, and looked around. There was enough room at the far side of the bed for one of my favourite positions.

"Off the side?" I proposed, scooting myself across the bed until my head was hanging off the side, upside down. Namjoon scrambled to meet me, spreading his feet wide to as to line his cock up with my waiting mouth.

He lost his balance and fell forward a little, his impressive erection sliding across my face as his aim was slightly off. I looked to see what had distracted him and saw Taehyung undressing as well, peeling his designer clothes off carefully and laying them on the other bed for safekeeping. Once he was down to his black boxer briefs, he returned to us, smirking to see us watching his every move. It was like watching one of the large cat species, or a master at work, he knew just how to move, to angle himself, to maximize the impact he had. It was almost unfair (and would have been completely unfair if I hadn't known that body would be on top of mine again momentarily).

Tae looked me over, telling me, "Now you're the one who's overdressed," as he crawled back onto the bed and trailed those long fingers down my sternum, dancing around my belly button before teasing at the waistband of my silky panties. I was glad I'd made the effort to wear a cute matching set of underwear, even though I'd told myself I wasn't going to go home with them. Funny how a few drinks and heated looks will change a girl's mind.

Namjoon "helped" by trying to dig his hands under me and unhook my bra, until I reached up and arched my back in order to do it myself. He did peel it off of me once it was loose, while I was busy lifting my hips to wiggle my underwear down over them, so that Taehyung could slide them down my legs and toss them aside with far less care than he had for his own clothes.

My attention was drawn back to Namjoon, who was kneading my breasts excitedly, as he did any time they became bare in his presence. Exuberant massaging quickly became softer caresses, though, as he knew what I liked in order to turn me on even further. I moaned as he stroked his thumbs over both my nipples simultaneously, letting my head drop back down off the edge of the mattress, and once again faced his weeping cock.

There were several reasons I was particularly fond of this position, one of the biggest being that it softened my gag reflex enough for me to take Namjoon's entire cock down my throat. It was one of the reasons he was also a big fan, despite the awkward splits he had to do to get level with me; that, and the fact that he was able to play with my breasts while I sucked him off. It also left my hands free to play with myself, but this time there would be someone else available to take care of me.

"You have no idea how hot this looks," I heard Taehyung mutter as I reached over my head to pull Namjoon's hips closer, shifting to line him up with my mouth and finally slide his hardness past my lips. I moaned at the feeling, which I knew would make Namjoon thrust deeper and draw a grunt of some kind from him throat as well.

I did my best to concentrate on the task in front of me, but Tae's nimble fingers dipped between my legs, sliding easily due to the arousal slicking my thighs. "She's so wet, hyung," Tae commented. "And sensitive," he added when I twitched at the quick brush of his thumb over the hood of my clit.

Namjoon made a noise of agreement. "I think, between the dancing at the club, and feeling her up in the car, we worked her up real good." He was starting to build a steady rhythm of fucking into my throat, making him catch his breath every few words and reminding me that I needed to sync my breathing with his thrusts, though that was getting more difficult to do when Taehyung's ministrations between my legs had me gasping.

I was aching for those long fingers of his to make their way inside me, but Taehyung was taking his time teasing me, drawing figure-eights over my clit and trailing from there down to my perineum, even ghosting over my asshole a couple of times. It was so hard to keep still as I was twitching every time he hit a particularly sensitive spot, which was more frequently than I'd expected.

Perhaps it was due to the heightened emotions I’d experienced over the past few weeks, or even the alcohol still in my system, but I was beginning to think I'd been missing out during all those years of monogamy. Having two men, two wonderful and generous and talented lovers, concentrating all their efforts on me was nearly overwhelming. Feeling the stimulation to my aching pussy while Namjoon fucked my throat and continued to caress my breasts was driving me to my peak faster than I ever remember.

Taehyung's free hand slid over my collarbone and trailed over my neck, where I knew the bulge of Joon's cock was visibly distorting my throat. “That is so hot," Tae growled, his voice low and husky with need. "How is that so hot?"

"She takes my dick like a champ," Namjoon bragged, starting to pant and sweat from exertion. "Don't you, babe?" I couldn't move my head to nod so I moaned my agreement, which set off a chain of sounds from Namjoon and then Taehyung when he saw how his hyung reacted to the vibrations.

I arched my back and rocked my hips against Tae's hand, trying to encourage him. The hand between my legs, which had paused while he examined my throat, resumed it tortuous path through my arousal slickened folds. This time, however, instead of teasing around the edges, Taehyung finally slid one of his fingers inside me, making me moan again.

"So tight," he commented. "Fuck, you feel like heaven, noona. I can't wait to fuck you, I'm gonna fill you up so good, gonna make you come on my cock." I rocked my hips up against him again, trying to fuck myself on his hand. He took the hint and pumped into me a little faster, but not before adding a second finger and adjusting his angle so that his thumb was able to circle my clit while he moved.

I had lost control of the noises that tried to escape my throat, only to be muffled by Namjoon's cock still fucking it. His rhythm was beginning to falter and I used one hand to caress his balls, which I knew would bring him closer to the edge. "Fuck, babe, fuck- I'm gonna come. Where- Where do you want me?" he asked, as though I'd be able to answer him.

In reply, I used both hands to grab him by the ass and pull him closer to me once more, burying him as deep down as I could, my throat contracting around him in protest. He didn't come in that instant, but he was nearly there, and got the idea that I wanted to swallow all of him down.

He grabbed my upper arms and used the leverage for one, two, three, four more hard thrusts before I felt more than tasted his release. The loud groan he let out was also a good clue.

I started to be able to breathe through my nose as Namjoon's cock softened and I cleaned it off as best I could. I couldn't even properly catch my breath as Taehyung assaulted my pussy and my ears with the most delicious pleasure.

"Yeah, you did so well, noona, you look so beautiful taking his cock like that." The praise falling from Tae’s mouth filled me with pride as I shifted myself to the side a bit, in order to give my neck some support. He moved with me, never taking his hands off of me, still fucking me with his fingers and teasing my clit. He curled his two fingers up inside of me and hit that spongy spot that made me see stars. "You gonna come for me, pretty noona? Gonna come on my fingers and soak the bed, aren't you? I can't wait to be inside you, noona, I wanna be in you while Joon-hyung fucks your throat. Or maybe we should share this perfect little pussy, leave you wrecked after taking the both of us, you won't be able to walk the next day..." The patter of dirty talk continued, Taehyung describing everything he'd ever dreamed of doing to me while dragging me closer to ecstasy.

Namjoon returned, holding a shirt he'd pulled from the laundry basket and used it to wipe himself off, and I realized I'd never registered him stepping away. He nonchalantly reached over with his free hand to pinch one of my nipples and that pushed me over the edge.

My vision went white as a wave of pleasure originating at my core spread through my body in an instant, rushing down each limb and leaving a tingling sensation in my extremities. A wordless cry escaped my already abused throat.

I was able to bask in the sensation for a few seconds before the continued stimulation from Tae started making me twitch painfully. "Enough, please," I begged hoarsely. Taehyung smiled wickedly at me and redoubled his efforts, but Namjoon pushed his hand back.

"Overstimulation isn't her thing," he explained to his disappointed looking dongsaeng, who nodded and leaned back. Namjoon handed Tae the shirt he had used to clean up and Tae wiped his hand clear of my mess before pulling my thighs apart to give him more room to gently run the cloth over my sticky body.

I lay back and let him care for me, until I shifted my leg and brushed up against Tae's stiff cock, still trapped in his underwear. I sat up slowly, leaning forward until I was pressed up against him, running my hand over the hardness that was leaking a wet spot onto his black boxer briefs. "I think I owe you an orgasm," I said huskily. I wrapped my hand around the impressive girth and squeezed, making him shiver against me.

I moved to kiss him, but Namjoon leaned in to stop me. "I think you've each had a turn to get someone off tonight," he commented. "My turn now."

I gasped as Namjoon manhandled Tae away from me, laying him on his back and roughly pulling off his underwear. My eyes widened when I finally saw the cock I'd been squeezing. "You weren't kidding" I breathed, and both men turned confused looks at me. "That's a dick too good to waste," I supplied, making Taehyung roll his eyes and Namjoon only look more confused.

"Ignore her, I think you were saying something about making me come?" Tae encouraged his boyfriend.

I had to stop myself from squealing a little, realizing that Namjoon was also Taehyung's boyfriend, as well as my own. They were both my boyfriends and they were also each other's boyfriends. Which meant they were going to do boyfriend things together. Boyfriend things like give each other blow jobs, and it was totally okay if I watched and even got off on it, since they were my boyfriends.

None of the fantasies I'd ever had involving Namjoon's mouth (of which there were many) were anywhere near as hot as seeing it actually wrapped around Tae's cock. I laid back to get a better angle, unable to look away from the way Joon's soft lips stretched around it, how his tongue escaped from his bottom lip as he came back off of it, the string of saliva hanging from his mouth as be gulped down a breath.

Namjoon's hand continued to pump up and down Tae's erection, spreading the mix of pre-cum and spit over the entire length. "Talk about wet, baby," he teased. "You keep leaking like this, I don't even need any extra lube."

I wasn't able to deep throat Namjoon all the way unless I was in a position like I'd been in earlier to dampen my own gag reflex, and Taehyung was even bigger than Namjoon, so it was not surprising to see Joon use his hand to stroke the base of Tae's cock where his mouth couldn't reach. He was still trying to get as much of it as he could, though, backing off a couple of times until he gagged so hard he started coughing.

"Hyung," Taehyung cautioned, sitting up a bit and using one hand to push Namjoon's head up higher so he could look in his eyes. "Don't hurt yourself, okay?"

Namjoon allowed Tae to push him up, but kept one hand wrapped around Tae's dick, slowly stroking it. He rocked forward, pressing up against Tae's body until he had him pinned to the mattress, and kissed him deeply.

I don't think I will ever get tired of sights like that, of seeing them so intimate with each other, not only physically but emotionally, the warmth in their gazes as they pulled apart striking something inside me. Sure, it made my lady parts tingle, but it also did the same to my heart.

"I think I'm the luckiest woman in the world right now." I didn't realize I'd said the words aloud until they both turned to smile at me fondly.

As Namjoon resumed his position between Taehyung's legs, the younger man said, "Here I was thinking the same thing."

I quirked my head. "You think I'm the luckiest woman in the world, too?"

His sigh turned into a gasp as Joon took him in his mouth again. "You know what I mean," he whined at me. He cried out again at something Namjoon was doing with his tongue, reaching to fist his hand in the other man's hair while beckoning me closer with his chin. "Come here, I want to kiss you some more."

Kissing Tae severely hindered my view of him getting sucked off, but I was able to sneak a glance every time he broke away to praise or plead with Namjoon. It wasn't long before he was grunting at Joon that he was close.

"Hyung," he begged, tugging at Namjoon's hair. "Hyung, I'm gonna- Hyung, please I wanna come-" Tae cried out as he came, hips arching off the bed. Namjoon swallowed once, thickly, and again before allowing Tae's cock to slip from his mouth.

"Easier clean up," he reminded Taehyung. "You know I don't mind."

Tae grunted, sitting up and grabbing the soiled shirt to wipe himself off. "One of these days, I'm going to come all over your face before you expect it, hyung. And I'm going to take a picture. And frame it and hang it on my wall." Namjoon rolled his eyes, apparently accustomed to this point of contention between them.

"Whatever, you can dream about covering me in come some other time. Let's just get some sleep, we've done enough celebrating tonight." Namjoon stood, gave us each a kiss laced with the taste of Tae's cum, and walked to the other bed. He picked up the clothes Taehyung had left there and tossed them back towards us. I scrambled to join him on the clean dry bed, and Tae piled in after me (after making sure that his clothes didn't land on any of the wet spots).

I ended up in between them again, facing Joon with Tae clinging to me from behind. In contrast to the last time we'd been in this position, though, this time my heart felt settled and content, like things were finally where they were supposed to be.

48 Days P.I. (The next morning)

As I regained consciousness, I was significantly less comfortable than I had been going to sleep in the early morning hours. When we'd climbed into bed, I'd been warm, slightly tipsy, and basking in the glow of both physical and emotional satisfaction. Upon waking, I was faced with a pounding headache, gross sticky patches on my skin from the hasty clean up, and one boyfriend sprawled over half the bed, snoring loudly, while the other was trying to suffocate me with his body heat while grinding his morning wood against my ass.

"Ugh," I groaned, trying to extract myself from Tae's clutches and the mess of blankets tangled around us. Finally free, I stumbled around, pulling on a pair of soft sleep pants I kept in one of Namjoon's drawers and a clean(-ish) shirt from the floor.

I padded down to the kitchen, heading straight for the cabinet where I knew they kept a large bottle of painkillers, and was confused when I didn't see it in it's usual spot. I heard a rattle behind me and turned to find Jimin and Jungkook looking words for wear, shaking the bottle I'd been in search of. I hadn't noticed them when I walked in, too hungover to look away from my target, but they seemed to be after the same thing I was.

I accepted the bottle Jimin passed me with a nod of thanks and poured a handful of the little round pills into my hand. Grabbing a big glass and filling it with water, I took a couple of the painkillers and slid the rest into my pocket, to take back for Namjoon and Taehyung.

"I know why you're feeling it this morning," I nodded at Jimin, who looked cranky but adorably rumpled with his over-treated hair sticking out at all angles. "But what has you looking so haggard, Kookie? I thought you stayed home to get some rest." Jungkook's brown hair looked like he'd been running his hands through it all night and the bags under his eyes were shockingly purple.

The maknae grunted, running his hands through his hair again. "I haven't even been to bed yet," he admitted. "I didn't realize what time it was until Jimin-hyung got up." I nodded in sympathy.

"I'm surprised you're walking straight, noona," Jimin finally chimed in, a cheeky grin making his eyes disappear.

I tried not to let my shock show on my face, and tried to think of an innocent reason why I'd be walking funny. "What do you mean? My shoes weren't that bad, I just wanted to come home because I was getting tired."

Both boys laughed. "You know Taehyungie is, like, the loudest person in the world, right?" Jimin reminded me. "And, uh, neither you nor hyung were especially quiet either. These walls are pretty thin.”

I felt my entire face heat up at the implication. "Oh," was all I could think to say.

"Don't worry, noona," Jungkook tried to reassure me. "They told us that the three of you are dating or whatever." I wasn't sure how it was possible, but my cheeks started burning even hotter.

"Yah, you think Jin-hyung or Hobi-hyung wouldn't have teased you, the way you were dancing all over each other?" Jimin added.

I dropped into a crouch, covering my face, I was so embarrassed. I had assumed they'd all been too distracted to notice us dancing, but knowing that not only had they noticed, they'd known exactly what was going on, made me want to disappear.

"Hey, have you guys seen noona?" I heard Taehyung ask from the hallway. No one said anything, but they must have pointed to where I was because Taehyung's bare feet appeared in my field of view. "Noona, are you okay? Did you drop something?"

"No," I said, my voice muffled by my arms wrapped around my head. "I'm just trying to melt into the floor, leave me here to die in peace."

There was a moment of confused silence before Jungkook supplied, "She didn't realize that you'd told us about the three of you."

"Or quite how loud you all were last night," Jimin added.

I felt arms slide around me as Taehyung crouched next to me. "I'm sorry, noona," he apologized softly. "We should have told you that we told the members. We needed to do it before they found out on their own. I promise, we haven't told anybody else." I twisted to hug him back, and he pulled me up to my feet. "Imagine what you would have had to say about last night if they didn't know? You're not that good a liar." I let our a reluctant laugh and nodded into his chest. He hadn't bothered to put a shirt on, so my nose rubbed directly against his soft, honey coloured skin. I liked the sensation, so I nuzzled into him again.

Once I calmed down enough that I felt my face no longer resembled a tomato, I turned away from him and looked at the other boys. "You guys are okay with this? I mean, you don't think two of your members dating each other is going to affect the dynamics or anything?"

Jimin and Jungkook both shook their heads, looking amused. "Of course not. I mean, they've had their thing together for years, and it hasn't affected us. And, I mean, if you think those two are the only ones who've ever fucked-"

"That's enough!" Tae cut Jimin off with a shout, taking me by the arm and dragging me out of the room

"What? We've lived together for more than a decade, with little to no chance of having normal dating lives. We're all young, healthy, attractive men-" The words followed us as I was marched back toward the bedroom.

Tae turned to look at me as we reached the door, noting the dreamy look in my eyes. "Oh no you don't," he practically growled at me. "I know exactly what you're thinking, and I'd like to remind you that you already have two boyfriends to satisfy your every fantasy. Stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking."

***

The three of us went back to my place after we'd all woken up and grabbed showers, since apparently there was even less privacy at the dorm than I'd realized. We still needed to have a serious discussion about the burgeoning relationship between the three of us. We had probably crossed a line the night before, anyway, so the talk was long overdue.

Even though we'd all slept hard, I was exhausted, so I collapsed onto the couch as soon as we all filed inside. Taehyung thought this was a fine idea, so he fell on top of me, effectively pinning me in place. "Mmm, this couch is so comfy," he commended, wiggling and making me gasp in pain as all his sharp points managed to dig into my in the process.

"Let her breathe, please," Namjoon requested, settling into the armchair to watch Tae and I flail around until we were more comfortably seated.

I looked between their faces, my head on a swivel since I managed to take the seat between them. "So, who wants to go first?" I asked nervously.

"Um, do we need to take turns?" Namjoon seemed a bit confused.

I shrugged. "I don't know, I've never done this before. You guys sound like you know what you're doing, at least."

Tae chuckled. "That is...a gross over exaggeration of our competence in this area. I just know that from everything I've read about polyamorous relationships, communication and boundaries are very important, so we should start there."

Namjoon nodded, adding, "Yeah, and since not communicating has already gotten me in trouble, I want to make sure we're all on the same page."

"Well," I said thoughtfully. "We agree on the basics, I think. We're all equal partners in this, right? No primary or secondary partners?" They both nodded. "And both of you are my boyfriends, and you are each other's boyfriend and I am your girlfriend." More nods. "Okay, but what about publicly? We've been lucky that Namjoon and I are public, but I honestly think ARMY would riot if I was dating two of you."

"Yeah," Namjoon agreed. "I don't even know if we can let the managers know. The members do, of course-"

"Yeah, thanks for telling me that, by the way," I interrupted.

"Sorry, babe!" he apologized quickly before continuing. "We thought it best to tell them, in case they caught us or something. So they wouldn't think anybody was getting cheated on."

"No no, I get why," I replied. "I was just a bit embarrassed, especially when I realized they, uh, could hear us last night."

"Yeah, sound carries pretty well in there," Tae said with a shrug. "We're used to it though, we mostly don't mention anything we hear and the others do the same."

"Babe?" Namjoon asked suddenly. "When's your graduation?"

I was a little surprised by his abrupt question, but answered, "Early next month. Why, do you want to introduce Tae to my parents? They'll be coming for the ceremony, but I'm not sure they're ready for their daughter to be dating another idol..."

He shook his head. "Not that. There were just some other things we were gonna talk about after you graduated."

Tae looked confused when I gave Namjoon a sharp look. "Oh? Sexy things?"

I shook my head at the same time Joon said, "Very sexy things, at least I think they are."

"Namjoon," I whined. "Not the time."

Ignoring my objections, Namjoon told Taehyung, "She made me promise to wait until after she graduated to talk about her moving in to my apartment. And to talk about when we can start a family."

I watched Tae's eyes widen and said, "See, Joonie, it's too soon! We should at least wait until we have this whole new relationship thing figured out before we start talking about babies."

Namjoon smiled when Taehyung started shaking his head. "No no, please let's talk about babies," the younger man encouraged. "I'm thinking four or five. Probably an even number so we can each be bio-dads to the same number, so four or six then. Ooh! Can we name one Chi?" My shoulders dropped and I shook my head.

"Never count on Tae to be on the anti-baby side of an argument," Namjoon reminded me in a stage whisper. "He's been wanting kids since before he could grow facial hair."

I looked back up at them and smiled at the joke, but I wasn't ready to let the argument go just yet. "Guys, I haven't even graduated yet, I don't have a job lined up. I didn't go to school for so long to earn a doctorate just to quit and be your...baby factory. I'm not stay-at-home-mom material, or kept woman material for that matter."

Tae wrapped one arm around my shoulders and squeezed me close. "No, noona, I wouldn't want that for you. I just can't help but get excited about the idea of our future together."

"Moving in to my place isn't about you being a kept woman," Namjoon argued. "My place is closer to our dorms, in a better neighbourhood, and has better security. It's more for my peace of mind than anything else." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around me. "And we don't have to start a family right away, I just want to be able to talk about it. You didn't want to discuss it when I first brought it up because you were so focused on school, but now I want to be able to start planning."

After a moment of silence, Tae asked, "So, you guys were talking about talking about having kids...were you talking about getting married, too?" The look on his face worried me, so I moved off of Namjoon's lap and cuddled back up to Tae.

"No, Taetae, we talked about it ages ago and neither of us have ever felt the need to actually get married just to prove we're committed to each other," I said with a smile at Joon. "We're both people of our words. And it feels unfair that we'd be able to do something that is denied to so many other couples in the country, just because we happened to fall in love with someone of the opposite gender." When Taehyung's expression didn't change, I climbed into his lap and beckoned Namjoon to join us on the couch. "Besides, at this point I don't think either if us would get married without you being part of it."

"Right," Namjoon confirmed, sliding his arm behind Tae and hugging him. "Especially now, I wouldn't want to get married unless it was to both of my partners."

"I don't want you to deny me," Tae said quietly, pivoting back to the earlier focus of our conversation. "We don't have to tell anybody that we're all together, that's none of their business. But I don't think I'd be able to stand it if I read somewhere that you said you're not dating me."

Namjoon and I exchanged a look, but he was the first to speak. "Sure, we can find something to say if we get asked. Like, 'we are in a happy and healthy relationship', or like, 'we have a great relationship with Taehyung' or something. Something true, even if it doesn't tell the whole story."

Tae seemed to brighten at the thought. "Yeah, that would be better than flat out lying, at least." He sighed again. "I just...I don't want to feel like I'm the third wheel in your relationship. You guys have been together for years now, talked about having kids and how you don't want to get married, and now I'm just- Our relationship is so much newer, and we aren't really ready to be talking about those kind of things yet."

Both Namjoon and I hugged him tight, squishing him between us. "The romantic side of our relationship might be new, but it's not like we haven't had any relationship up until now," I pointed out. "You've probably been my best friend for these years I've been with Namjoon, and I mean, you guys have been together for ages, longer than I've been around." I swallowed, ready to admit my insecurity. "I mean, how am I supposed to compete, physically, when you two literally live in the same room and can be with each other all the time?"

Namjoon spread his arms further to envelop me in the hug along with Tae. "Don't worry about that, babe," he assured me. "If we're too tired or busy to come visit you, we're too tired or busy to do anything with each other."

Taehyung nodded in agreement. "Yeah, and we can, like, call you or something if we do," he offered. "Just, like, so you know it's happening?"

I chuckled at that idea. "I don't want to police your sex life, either," I said. "You shouldn't have to ask permission to be intimate with your partner. I just...if I start feeling like you're not sexing me up because you're already getting enough from each other, I'll say something."

"Promise?" Joon prompted.

I nodded. "I promise. And Tae-ah, you promise to let us know if you're feeling like a third wheel?" He nodded his agreement.

"And I promise to let you know if I start feeling like an old toy you're both done playing with now that you have each other," Namjoon added. I saw the shy sincerity in his eyes. "That's my current biggest relationship-based fear."

I hugged both men close, giving an extra hard squeeze before releasing them and relaxing into the arm of the couch behind me.

"So, just so we're all on the same page, sex doesn't have to be reserved for when all three of us are present, right?" Tae clarified. Both Namjoon and I nodded. "I figure unless someone starts feeling left out, we can just go with the flow."

I added, "I do want to make sure to have time alone with each of you, though. I love all of us together, but we had one-on-one time before, and I don't want to lose that."

"You won't feel left out because Tae and I get a lot more time together?" Namjoon asked softly.

I shook my head. "I think its a bit different with the two of you, since you've lived and worked together for so long," I admitted. "Oh, but the tour is going to be pure torture for me. You two will have each other, and I'll be back here by myself."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Joon promised.

Taehyung looked curious. "Well, what did you do before, other than the sappy love letters? Lots of phone calls and FaceTime and sexting?" His face lit up with a new idea. "We haven't even talked about kinks! What are the two of you into? Do you have any hard stops? I mean, I'm willing to try pretty much anything once-"

Tae was cut off as both his and Namjoon's phones rang almost simultaneously. They each scrambled to answer, Tae informing the person on the other like that Namjoon was talking to Sejin and they could all talk on speaker.

"Okay, have you guys checked your SNS yet today?" Sejin asked once he confirmed both of them were on the line. Both Namjoon and Taehyung confirmed that they hadn't been online yet. Sejin sighed. "Alright, you guys have managed to create the same scandal twice. Someone had a camera at the club last night, which you didn't tell me about going to but we'll get to that later. Anyway, there's another picture of Taehyung and your little girlfriend grinding on each other, Namjoon-ah. We're doing our best to kill the story, but..."

Sejin went into the details of the lengths they were going to and the money they'd have to spend to cover up this new picture, but I tuned him out and went searching for myself. It wasn't hard to find, the picture was all over Twitter, but something about it looked off to me.

"...I don’t think you'll be able to just brush it off this time, you're going to have to break up with her and make a public statement-" Sejin was saying when I cut him off.

"Sejin-ssi? Look for the whole picture," I advised. The man on the line sputtered a bit, apparently unaware that I had been listening as well. "Yeah, whatever, hi. I don't think you'll have to bury this one, jut change the angle. Find the whole picture, cause the one being spread is obviously cropped to cut out Namjoon, who was dancing right behind me. The three of us were dancing all night, there's nothing noteworthy about me and my boyfriend dancing with a friend, is there?"

Namjoon grinned, the darkness and worry that had threatened his expression melting away. "See, Sejin, I told you it's better to keep her around. I guess the three of us are just going to have to go out together a lot, and remind the public what good friends we are."

He squeezed my hand and I squeezed Taehyung's. We'd done this once before, we could do it again.

[Several months later]

I rushed to pack up my computer and shove it into my bag as I wrapped up class. "Remember," I spoke loudly. "No office hours on Thursday, I've got some personal business to take care of."

A few students nodded in my direction, but most of them were already filing out of the lecture hall. I'd have to send an email reminder, though even with that I was sure I'd get at least one annoyed message asking where I was. Teaching first year stats was a thankless job, but I was paying my dues as the newest member of the faculty, only hoping that someone else would be hired next year and it would be their turn.

One of the more engaged students, fresh out of high school with the glimmer of hope still shining in his eyes, approached my desk. "You haven't missed office hours all year, Professor," he said respectfully. "I hope it's nothing serious."

I smiled as I wound the cord of my charger around the power brick. "Honestly, it's not. Its just that my partners' coming home from a long overseas trip and I want to spend some time with them." Thankfully none of my students has yet to connect the dots between their nerdy professor and the woman who was dating Kim Namjoon, leader of the biggest boy band in the world. I could only hope they never did. I waved goodbye to the young man, who looked a little disappointed in my answer, and rushed toward the office I shared with two other younger faculty members.

Once I finally made it back home, I nervously started checking everything I'd set up before I left for campus that morning. I changed from my more formal teaching wear (intentionally chosen to make me look as little like an idol's girlfriend as possible) into a pretty sundress since it was still warm enough to get away with, and even prettier underwear. I knew it wasn't likely to stay on long, but I wanted my boys to know how excited I was to see them.

The apartment Namjoon owned was much bigger than my student housing had been, which meant we had space for a giant oversized bed in the master and a cozy office/library/mini studio in the second bedroom. I'd moved in not long after graduation, finally agreeing that all of their arguments had merit. I did pay rent, probably nowhere near as much as the place was worth, but while I was technically the only person who called it home, the boys were constantly staying over unless schedules interfered.

I had worried, at the beginning, about how Taehyung would adjust to spending so much time away from the other members, knowing how much he loved and depended on their constant company, but he claimed he got enough of that while they worked, and he almost always had Namjoon around when he was staying over with me, so I stopped asking. Admittedly, it gave me hope that at some point, they would actually move out of the dorms and we could live together for real.

They were headed home from almost two months away, though, so I wasn't thinking about moving in together, I just wanted to see them again. Eight weeks was a long time to wait, and it had taken both of them to convince me not to join the throngs of fans who greeted them at the airport. The claimed it would be a recipe for public indecency, so I awaited their arrival at home.

A burst of noise at the front door had me scrambling out of the office where I'd been grading some tests, and running toward them. I threw myself at the first one in, which happened to be Taehyung, and jumped into his arms. He laughed and spun me around, kissing me senseless before releasing me so Namjoon could give me similar treatment.

"What took you so long?" I asked as soon as my mouth was free again. "Your flight landed ages ago."

"Had to drop off our stuff at the dorm, and then Manager-nim was there so we couldn't immediately run off," Taehyung explained. I nodded, knowing that while the managers wouldn't bat an eye at Namjoon rushing off to see me as soon as he landed, it would raise eyebrows if Taehyung went with him. There were already enough rumours about the three of us that the managers had been watching very closely for any hint of truth to them. The other members had been invaluable in helping to throw them off the scent.

Taehyung grabbed my hand and pulled me in the direction of the bedroom, dragging Namjoon along since he was holding my other hand. "How was your trip, are you tired?" I asked in a rush. I was so ecstatic to be with them again; it was the longest the both of them had been away from me since we all started dating, and I was feeling a bit needy, unable to let go of their hands.

"I slept on the flight," Tae assured me, waggling his eyebrows. I checked behind to make sure Namjoon was also feeling rested, and he just smiled. "I don't need any more rest, I need my noona."

My heart and my worry melted, making way for the deep feeling of want that had been bubbling under the surface to come to the forefront of my mind. Being away from them for so long had begun to affect my sanity, so I made no move to protest when Tae collapsed onto the bed and pulled me with him, causing me to let go of Joon's hand.

A moment's kissing quickly turned hot, and soon my mouth was parting from his to follow a trail down his neck and across the sharp points of his clavicle, left exposed by the deep v neck of his shirt. I began fumbling at the buttons, trying to expose more of his skin to my touch.

Taehyung's deep chuckle shook the chest I was pressed against. "Feeling desperate, noona?" he teased. "Did you miss us that much? We sent you lots of pictures to keep you company."

At the mention of the pictures they'd sent, I moaned and changed my focus. Leaving his shirt as it was, rumpled and half undone, I instead backed off the bed and began working at undoing his pants.

I glanced back to check on Namjoon, who had followed us into the bedroom and taken what had become a familiar stance, seated on the cushioned seat of the big bay window. Rather than the jealousy he had feared he'd experience at seeing Taehyung and I together, he'd instead discovered a rather powerful voyeur kink that we had learned to exploit to the fullest. I had found it incredibly convenient that the quickest way to turn on one of my boyfriends was to seduce the other; it made requesting threesomes very efficient. Namjoon gave me a knowing smile with our eyes met, raising an eyebrow as though challenging me to get on with it.

Get on with it, I did, quickly loosening and removing Tae's pants, followed by his black boxer briefs, finally releasing one of the dicks I'd been missing so badly the past eight weeks. "You guys were so mean to me," I complained, leaning over him and running my hands over the tops of his thighs, his hips, everywhere around the base of his cock without actually touching it. "That last video you sent, the one of Joon blowing you? I haven't been able to think of anything else since."

"Noona, that was like, four days ago," Tae moaned. He ran his own hands over his chest and torso when he finished taking off his shirt on his own. When I didn't reply, He angled his head up and looked at me, "Well, now's your chance then. Didn't you want to get a taste yourself?"

I glared at him, but finally wrapped my hand over his erection and stroked it a few times, the precum already leaking out of the tip easing the friction. "Don't get cocky," I warned before licking up the length and sliding my mouth around the tip.

Taehyung's moans and the slick sounds of my mouth were the only noise in the room for several minutes. He wound one hand into my hair, setting a pace he liked and encouraging me to take him deeper with each subsequent thrust. It was a trick he'd picked up from Namjoon, who delighted in sharing all the little things he'd discovered that turned me on, from subtle acts of control like the hand in the hair to the best places to kiss me get get me wet in an instant. In turn, Tae had pushed my boundaries even further than Namjoon had ever dared, striking our own power balance between us.

It hadn't been all sunshine and roses, of course, once we'd officially become a poly triad. Negotiating the new dynamics had taken time, communication, and a lot of patience. We were desperate for each other after the long separation, but I knew that it was likely to bring up old issues, and new ones, between us. That, however, was a problem for the future. I had my boys back with me, and dammit I was going to get thoroughly fucked.

Tae's hand pushed me down far enough to make me gag, and I made a choking noise as tears sprang into the corners of my eyes.

"Careful with our girl, Taehyungie," Namjoon warned, and I could tell he'd moved from the window by the direction of his voice. "Don't want to hurt her on our first day home."

I backed off of Tae's cock long enough so say, "It's okay, I'm all good," before returning to the task at hand. Namjoon's large palm rubbed my back as I bent over Taehyung, but it soon descended over the curve of my hips and tugged my skirt up enough to slip between my thighs.

Joon hissed when he felt the dampness of my panties. "Babe, is this because you missed us? Or because you love sucking his cock that much?" I moaned a response, not really an answer, but that's because I didn't know which it was myself, only that I was absolutely dripping and desperate to get fucked.

Thankfully, Namjoon seemed to be on board with my unspoken idea, pushing my skirt up above my waist where it wouldn't impede his view and ran his hands over my pink lace covered ass. "So fucking gorgeous," he murmured before sliding the panties down just far enough for gravity to pull them down to my ankles where I had to blindly step out of them if I wanted to spread my legs any further. Namjoon's attention was back between my legs, his fingers now covered in my slick arousal and teasing at the sensitive flesh there.

"I can't wait to be inside you, babe," he admitted. "I haven't fucked anything other than a hand or a mouth in way too long, I need to be inside your tight pussy." Dirty talk was something he'd picked up from Tae, and I can't say I minded. Hearing their deep voices telling me exactly what they wanted to do to me only served to turn me on further every time.

He wasn't exaggerating about his need to be inside of me though, as I felt the blunt tip of his cock pressing into my entrance moments after his fingers moved away. Settling his hands on my hips to steady them, he began fucking into me with a slow deliberate rhythm.

The pace Namjoon was setting was still slow enough to be able to continue blowing Taehyung, but the drag of his cock over my g-spot was making me cry out each time. I pulled off of Tae, breathing hard and grunting with every thrust Joon made.

"Damn, hyung," Tae cursed. "How is it that I am getting sucked off my the most wonderful girlfriend in the world, but I am still jealous of our boyfriend?"

I could head the satisfied grin in Namjoon's voice as he replied, "Yeah? Here, I have an idea." He pulled out of me, and a whimpered at the empty feeling.

I stood up straight, waiting to hear what Namjoon's idea was. In addition to his voyeuristic tendencies, sharing the bedroom had revealed a different facet of Joon's desire for control. He was the one who suggested activities and specific positions, which Tae and I were usually eager to comply with. He wasn't forceful in the way Taehyung could be with me, but he always exuded this aura of power that was hard to ignore (and amazing to follow).

"Babe, you lay down like Tae was," Namjoon indicated, and I moved to do so, squeaking when he stopped me to pull my dress off entirely. He had me lay down on the bed one way, then changed his mind and moved me so that my head was on the pillows at the head of the bed. He grabbed a couple extra pillows and put them under my hips, and I started to get the idea of what was coming. Taehyung was directed to join me, and he braced himself on his knees to line up with the angle Joon had put me at.

Namjoon took in our positions, then said, "Okay, Taetae, now fuck her like you mean it." Tae smiled down at me and did just that, filling me with his generous length and making me moan in appreciation.

Joon grabbed a bottle of lube from the dresser and tossed it on the bed before climbing up behind Taehyung. At the first touch of Namjoon's slicked finger against his hole, Tae paused his thrusts until encouraged to continue.

"Fuck Tae, did you prep?" Namjoon moaned, finding Tae already slicked and loose.

"What else was I supposed to do while we waited for Manager-nim to leave?" Tae teased in return, winking at me. The sloppy sounds of Namjoon adding extra lubrication joined the slap of Tae's body against mine, Tae alternating between telling me how good if felt to be inside me and begging Namjoon to just fuck him already.

"Hyung, please, it's been so long," he pleaded. "Two months, hyung, because we promised we wouldn't but please don't tease me any more I need to feel your cock inside me." The way he whined only went to demonstrate how much they'd missed this part of their relationship.

It had been one of the rules, while they were on tour, that they could get each other off, but only with hands and mouths. I hadn't been the one to suggest it, but they felt so guilty about being away from me together for so long that they'd placed their own restriction. Anal may have not been a huge part of their relationship in the past, but once they'd started to explore it within our triad where they had more time and space to enjoy it, they'd both confessed that it was one of their favourite things to do together. Tae was more likely to be the one begging to get fucked, but Joon still couldn't resist the allure of having Tae's giant cock inside him occasionally.

I was certainly reaping the benefits of having Tae inside me, with each stroke glancing against that special spot and making me see stars. I was barreling toward my peak and Joon hadn't even started fucking Tae yet.

"You just gonna play with his ass all night?" I demanded, not wanting to come too early and risk over stimulation if Taehyung wasn't finished yet.

Namjoon chuckled as he finally got into position, using one hand to bend the younger man forward so that Tae's chest was pressed to mine and the other to guide his cock into Taehyung's eager little hole. His hands now gripped Tae's narrower hips and it was Tae who had to find the rhythm between the to partners he was pleasuring.

It was almost like a collapse and expansion, Namjoon's thrust cascading into Tae's which only pushed him into me with more force, and then the slow retraction of them both. This position did not lend itself well to fast frantic fucking, but the power behind it more than made up for the slower pace. It was fascinating, watching Taehyung fall apart between us, each thrust making him shudder and moan. I saw the signs of his impending orgasm, and stopped trying to hold off my own, concentrating on letting the feeling build with in me.

I was nearly there, the edge of pleasure in sight when Tae grunted that he was close. "Inside me," I begged him. "We're safe, please I want to feel you come inside."

I was on birth control, and had no plans of stopping any time soon. The two of them had bugged me repeatedly about when we would start trying, or at least stop preventing, but I'd shot them down. Once I explained that I didn't want to risk having a baby when the two of them were only a year apart and the chances of them being enlisted at the same time were actually fairly high, they stopped asking. I knew it was still something they each thought about, especially any time we were out together and saw a baby or a small child; Namjoon had even bought a pair of ridiculously expensive baby shoes as "decoration" for his studio. But we were still young, we had plenty of time for those things down the road.

Luckily I was able to come just before Taehyung did, or maybe the feeling of me coming around him is what finally pushed him over the edge. Namjoon continued fucking Tae, who actually enjoyed the over stimulation, holding him up when he nearly collapsed on top of me. Joon had always said that seeing and hearing us come, knowing we were experiencing pleasure, was one of the things that got him off, and sure enough he followed soon after we did.

Namjoon stepped away to grab a couple washcloths and returned to find Taehyung still smothering me. Joon cleaned up Tae's backside before helping me to roll him off and wiped down his front, murmuring praises and words of affection as he did so. Once I felt like I wouldn't make a mess, I pulled on a robe and grabbed some water from the kitchen. Upon my return, I saw the two of them already cuddled together, their eyes closed despite their assurances earlier that they were well rested.

"Welcome home, my loves."

Previous (Part 2)

#bts fic #namjoon x reader #taehyung x reader #namjoon x reader x taehyung #ipurpleunet #my fic #bts smut #namjoon scenario #taehyung scenario #idol au #bangtan smut #namjoon au #taehyung au #bangtan x reader #namjoon fic #taehyung fic #bts au #bts au fanfic #fic: this looks bad

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