#i need someone to talk about those books with who isn't my dad

[diamondcitydarlin]

Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)

This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)

So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.

This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.

Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.

It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)

I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).

Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.

Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.

And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.

At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.

[jupiter-letters]

Dating Bruce Wayne would include:

Fem! or GN! Reader TW: None

A/N: I have a lot of thoughts about Bruce as you can see, he's a complicated guy. I wouldn't say he's super romantic like the other guys I've written, he's like a slow burn kinda guy. I can see why people like him but I'm still on the fence if I'd date him fr fr.

I won't sugarcoat it, it'll be a rocky road dating Bruce but it's not impossible. Unlike Clark, Batman is who he is and Bruce Wayne is what he can do. The mission always comes first, so him taking time to dedicate to you is special. It's a lot protecting the city and being the backbone of the league.

He is consistently booked and busy, nobody can do what he does so he always has do things himself. It can be difficult for him to ask for help or just allow people to do things for him. In and out of the costume he's got a lot of walls up. He may seem cold on the surface but he feels very deeply. The death of his parents really stunted him emotionally so it will take some time to soften him up.

In terms of a partner ideally he'd need someone with some softness to file down those hard edges he has. Even if his partner isn't soft he provide that comfort and warmth in his own way over time. He's spent most of his life keeping people at an telephone pole's length away(except Alfred of course).

Physical touch with a partner will feel foreign, all the batfam like to hug him and stuff but their the ones intiating most of the time. That will also be the case for you, you'd have to hug him first if you want to touch him. The longer your relationship goes you'll be able to tell when he wants to be hugged or kissed just from the lingering looks he gives you. The touches he does give you are long gentle caresses, he loves stroking your cheek with his thumb. Sometimes after a difficult patrol he'll just hold you in his arms and press his forehead against yours.

Staring!! He'll always be staring at you whether you're looking or not. He's kind of like a cat, blinking at you real slow is his way of blowing kisses. The way he looks at you is exclusive to you only! It's so much softer and adoring than his usual scary pokerface staring. In a JL meeting, before everyone knows you're dating they might think he can't stand you. Inside though he's like 💓💗💖💘💝.

You can translate his grumbles and sounds. Bruce isn't the most talkative guy and he's in his head alot. So when he's busy or distracted and you ask him a question you understand his tone. Barry: "So is Bruce gonna be at the Flash parade tomorrow?" Bruce: "Hmm..." You: "Yeah he'll be there!".

The rest of the batfamily notice the effect you've had on him, you managed to crack the coldness he's built over the years. In addition to already liking you they're grateful for you being there for him. They'll even tease you both when you have dinner together. Fake vomitting when Bruce kisses you on the cheek, calling you Mom/Dad/Parent.

If you are another superhero(yes he does have a contingency plan for you) You may butt heads from time to time he may come off as underestimating you but he just wants to protect you by getting ahead of the problem. When he knows your abilities/skills maybe exactly what he needs in a certain situation, he’ll hit you up. He does his best not to hover when you go on solo missions, he will check in over comms at the most random times though. When you do go on missions together, you never notice but he'll stay very close to you.

You've got maximum scary dog privilege when you two go out together but when he goes out as Bruce Wayne he's still gotta put up that raunchy facade. He won't get too frisky with you but he will take the opportunity to flirt a little. He'll whisper little compliments and pick-up lines in your ear when you slow dance together.

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

[penkura]

I'm back with more traffy brainrot.

So I LOVE avatar the last airbender. I was thinking.

What'd happen if law met someone like toph?

Reader is blind. But can see through her feet, the thing is, she's strong on any land but HATES getting on ships because the only thing she sees is the ships interior not the outside which is the ocean, she fears with a little push she MIGHT fall over. Also, when they first met, reader may or may not play the "I'm sorry I'm blind" card and steal a hefty amount from the crew and running away faster than any of them combined lol.

I just imagine reader being innocent until she isn't lmao

I loooove Avatar omg, I still need to sit with my dad and finish the live action Netflix series, but the original series has a special place in my heart. I really liked this prompt, I hope I did it justice for you!!

“I’m sorry, I’m blind.”

Law should’ve realized right away that it would be an excuse the moment he met you. He feels a little stupid now, having you strapped to a chair in front of him and his crew, the very people who tried to be helpful but that you stole from. Shachi questions if you actually are blind, waving his hand in front of your face though you don’t make any movements that you can see his hand moving. Penguin rolls his eyes and tells him to stop, as Law simply sighs over the situation.

You thought it was okay, you thought you’d get away with everything you’d grabbed, you didn’t know what the half of it was. You just snatched whatever seemed valuable and booked it, not caring that there was a feeling of guilt as you ran off that stupid submarine and back onto dry land, at least then you could see everything. You hated that you could only see the inside of that submarine, you didn’t even really want to be there but had flirted enough with one of the crewmembers (poor Hakugan) to get on board, knowing they must have some treasure after hearing they were a pirate crew, especially hearing it was Trafalgar Law’s crew. Even you kept up with the rumors and gossip, you knew he had a decent bounty on him, even at just twenty-one years old.

Your only mistake was staying aboard too late and grabbing his sword as something to sell, of course he’d notice that.

You thought you were fast but somehow he caught up to you, it must be a Devil Fruit you realize quickly. No one on this island could keep up with you even with your visual impairment, Law having powers is the only thing that makes sense.

“Captain, I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hakugan,” Law sighs again while his friend hangs his head with a small nod, “If she hadn’t grabbed Kikoku, we wouldn’t have known she’d stolen anything really.”

You tilted your head with your brow furrowed, confused on what he must mean. You had grabbed a ton of things, hadn’t you?

“Yeah,” Penguin laughs, shaking his head, “Grabbing all those medical supplies was a stupid move.”

“Guess it’s not that obvious that our ship has such a big medical ward, huh?”

You feel like an idiot now, embarrassment flooding over you as you listen to them list off what you’d grabbed, apart from Kikoku. Bandages, cough medicine, various medicinal drugs. You though ‘surgeon of death’ was just a moniker, not that Law really is a doctor.

You really wish you would wake up from this nightmare in your bed, you’d completely ignore the people talking about a pirate crew docking at your home island and go about your day. Part of you thinks you should have done that anyway, even when Law dismisses the rest of his crew to speak to you alone.

He's quiet for a bit, just as you are, until he crouches in front of you and sets a hand on your shoulder.

“You wanna explain?”

“…I really am blind.”

“I know that, I don’t doubt your disability,” he’s not like Shachi, questioning your reality or anything, he’s just wondering what your plan was, “I’m talking about stealing from us. If you had known it was mainly medical supplies—”

“I wouldn’t have touched any of it. I wouldn’t have bothered…”

“…so why did you?”

“…you would too to keep your home.”

Ah that’s it, you’re trying to stay in your house. It must be rent or taxes, he’s not sure, but the way you hang your head makes Law start to think.

“No one wants to hire the blind orphan. I’m not worth—”

“I think Ikkaku would be glad to have a roommate. We’ll go get your stuff in the morning and—”

“What? What are you talking about?”

The way you lift and tilt your head, blinking while Law smiles to himself just a bit.

Kind of cute actually.

“You’ll come with us, as payment for trying to steal our supplies and my sword. In the morning, you’ll take us to where you live, we’ll pay what you owe, gather your stuff, and you’ll come with us.”

“Why would you…?”

Law pats your shoulder lightly, you’re not sure why but it gets to you so much you start to cry. He doesn’t even give you a reason, letting you get your feelings out, as you start to nod.

“O-Okay…okay…thank you…”

“You’re welcome.”

You’ll have to apologize to that Hakugan guy later for leading him on like that, but it seems you’ll have plenty of time for that.

[soulprompts]

an unexpected arrival. (A PROMPT LIST!)

so a lovely anonymous angel asked for a list of prompts relating to an unexpected pregnancy, and i made a list! i have two other lists over on my other blog that i'm gonna reblog over here, but there may be some slight overlap with these; however, unlike the other two lists, these focus exclusively on the unexpected part. DON'T ADD TO THIS LIST, DON'T CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN! but do have a tonne of fun with them!

" so, remember last week, when i had the flu and i couldn't leave my house? turns out it wasn't the flu. i'm pregnant. "

" i'm telling you about this baby because you deserve to know. that's all. i don't expect anything from you. i don't need you to step up or whatever. i just thought you ought to know. "

" i'm sure you don't need to be reminded, but... getting pregnant wasn't exactly part of the whole life plan. "

" you're sure? i mean, you did the test properly? maybe it was a false positive. or, or maybe you didn't read the results right... "

" a baby... well. that certainly complicates things, doesn't it? "

" i don't even know if i want kids. "

" could you please just stop reminding me that this isn't part of the plan?! you think i don't know that?! we're having a baby, i'm terrified enough without you reminding me! "

" look. i'm/you're not the first person to get pregnant, and i/you won't be the last. we're gonna figure it out, alright? "

" my place isn't even close to being big enough for a baby... they need so much stuff. cribs, prams, diaper stations... and my neighbors complain enough as it is, they'll evict me if i have a screaming baby as well... "

" hey... why don't you move in with me? i've got plenty of space, and my walls are thick, so the baby could scream as loud as they want. you could stay as long as you like. "

" should... we get married? i mean, that's what you do, isn't it? when someone's having a baby? "

" okay, we're not getting married. i mean, i appreciate the gesture, but... there's plenty of single parents out there. what's one more, right? "

" god... we are so stupid. i mean, seriously! any idiot knows that condoms aren't 100% effective! if we're dumb enough to forget that, how are we meant to look after a baby?! "

" you... you're kidding, right? this is a joke? it's a fake pregnancy test, some weird, slightly out of touch belated april fool's prank? "

" it's honestly insane that we didn't figure it out sooner... i mean, those were some wild cravings, right? "

" when you say late... do you mean like, a few days? or are we talking... months? "

" no, no, this... it changes everything. EVERYTHING. i... i don't know if i'm ready for this, i don't think i'm parent material, i... "

" hey. you're not alone. you got that? it takes a village, right? i'm gonna help you every step of the way. we all will. this kid, if you choose to go through with it... they'd be okay. "

" you know i support you. whatever choice you end up making. i will always be by your side. okay? "

" if this is some weird idea of a joke, i have to tell you, it's not funny. i mean, you're having a baby AND i'm somehow the dad? a little much, no? "

" no, i want to step up. it took two of us to make this baby, and i want to make sure you know that, if you go ahead with this, there's gonna be two of us to raise them, too. "

" the father doesn't believe that the baby is his. "

" okay. so screw the father. i'm going to be here to help you. okay? we'll parent this kid so well, they'll never want to know who their real dad is. "

" so... you wanna tell me who the father is? "

" the surprise baby is actually not just one baby. we're having twins/triplets/etc. "

" hey, hey... don't worry, okay? it's alright. it's all going to be okay. condoms break, yeah? it's no biggie... "

" what do you mean, you think?! haven't you taken a pregnancy test yet? "

" that's a lot of pregnancy books you got there... got something you want to tell me? "

" have you told the father yet? "

" i guess, seeing how you rushed over here so fast to tell me the news, that you think the baby is mine? "

" look, we both made plans, right? and obviously shit happens, but... a baby is a pretty massive deal. "

" how many other people have you told about the pregnancy? "

" what do you want to do? "

[spacebarbarianweird]

Lost and Found

Synopsis: Astarion dissapears, and Tiriel goes looking for him.

Tags: dadstarion, dhampirs, hurt/comfort

Alethaine's age: 6 years old

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons This one is more Tiriel x Astarion centered but Alethaine has her role, too

Astarion can’t move - his regeneration doesn’t catch up with the damage he received. His ribs are broken and so are his hands. There is nothing left of his renowned vampiric strengths - he is helpless in front of those warriors.

Kill the vampire. Kill the vampire. Kill the vampire.

He feels  dawn is close. His body stirs, and a wave of panic floods his mind. The sun will kill him. The sun will burn him.

Astarion tries to stand up but a strong blow knocks him down.

The first rays of the sun cut him like blades.

The last coherent thought comes to his mind.

Tiriel was right. He should have listened to his wife.

**

Tiriel is worried sick.

Astarion left a month ago with those men from Tunland - promising it would take only a dozen days and she wouldn't be stuck home with their daughter all alone.

But it’s been four weeks and he still hasn’t returned.

Alethaine sits on the ceiling with a book. Her adorable little face looks so serious that Tiriel can’t resist smiling every time she glances at her daughter. 

Like every elven child Tiriel has seen, Alethaine looks a bit like a perfect doll - a bit smaller than human children, with soft silver hair, and pointy ears that twitch, reacting to sounds. The quarter of human ancestry doesn’t manifest at all in her. She could pass for a high elf if it wasn’t for her vampire fangs, skin too pale for a living girl, and the fact she barely breathes. Sometimes Tiriel can’t resist  waking Alethaine up just to make sure she hasn’t died in her sleep. Just motherly anxiety, besides, nothing could have prepared Tiriel to be the mother of a dhampir.

Well, what did she expect, taking a vampire as a husband - but she had no idea dhampirs were anything but a myth.

“Mum.”

“What is it, Kitten?”

“When will Dad come back?”

“I don’t know”, Tiriel says.

The six-year-old flips the page. Tiriel notices elven letters, Espruar. Meanwhile, she is barely capable of reading a page in Common without having a headache, Alethaine easily reads books in both of her mother tongues. 

She is smart, her daughter. Just like Astarion.

Who disappeared without a trace.

It’s not like him. Of course, dealing with pacts and contracts isn't a fast job. It often takes Astarion days just to understand what exactly happened between his client and whatever force they’ve decided to sign papers with (because no one wants to admit to their mistakes). 

But Astarion doesn’t like to be away for too long. Tiriel knows it too well. They have been together for twenty-six years but what is it in comparison with two centuries of slavery, considering his previous life is completely erased from his memories? Astarion still has nightmares, he is still haunted. He needs her as much as she needs him. 

He would have come back already - to her, to their daughter, to their home. 

Tiriel is sure something bad has happened.

Vampires are vulnerable to the sun. To silver. Astarion could have been killed and she would never know about it. 

Tiriel didn’t like Astarion’s last client at first sight—an obnoxious chieftain from the Tunland who was so similar to Tiriel’s abusive drunkard of a stepfather that she almost had a panic attack. He even spoke with the same shitty dialect native to Tiriel’s human relatives.

Tiriel even suggested finding someone in town to look after Alethaine in her absence. Hells she was going to let him go alone! But Astarion talked her out.

I love having you as my bodyguard, but let’s not leave Alethaine without both of her parents.

Tiriel feels a gentle touch of fingers on her hair.

“Mum.”

“Hm?”

“Your mum and dad were half-elves like you? Or one of them was an elf like me and Dad?”

Tiriel looks up. Well, sooner or later she would have asked. For some reason the absence of Astarion’s family doesn’t bother Alethaine (at least now), maybe because she understands the concept that “dad was killed and resurrected and it was so long ago it was all forgotten”—but the  fact that Tiriel doesn't have anyone except for her husband probably surprises her.

“My mother was a human and my father was an elf.”

“But where are they? Is grandma dead?”

Tiriel is quiet for a second. Grandma. Well, sure. Tiriel did have a mother. A woman who gave birth to her. And hated her so much didn’t even bother to give her a name. 

Tiriel does mental math. She has no idea how old her mother was when they last saw each other but considering some of Tiriel’s brothers had already had children,the old hag must be around ninety. If she is alive, which is dubious considering the living conditions in the Tunland and, especially, in the Sunset Mountains.

“And grandpa? If he is an elf, he is still somewhere!”

“Alethaine, I don’t know who my father was or is. I don’t know his name, I don’t know where he was from. And as for my mother… she wasn’t a good person.”

Alethaine winces her nose. 

“But she was your mum!”

“She was a woman who gave birth to me. But she was never my mum. Alethaine, sometimes it happens. Sometimes mothers don’t love their children. And sometimes fathers just disappear without a trace. There are plenty of adults who shouldn't become parents at all.”

Alethaine shakes her head. 

“What if Dad has disappeared too?”

“No,” Tiriel says firmly. “Your dad will come back.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. Because he loves us.”

Alethaine squeezes her lips.

“Mum.”

Tiriel smiles. Once Aletaine starts asking, she doesn’t stop.

“Were you happy when I was born?”

“Of course! We were very happy to have you!”

Tiriel feels tears pricking her eyes. Of course, she can't know it but she is sure her own birth was met with curses and insults once her bitch of a mother and the midwife saw that the newborn had pointy ears. 

Elven bastard. Dirty blood. Pixie. 

Holding her own daughter in her arms for the first time, Tiriel couldn't understand how anyone could carry a child in their own body, experience childbirth, and still hate such an innocent human being.

“When I have a daughter, I will love her very-very much, just like you love me”

“Well, then she will be lucky to have both a mother and grandmother.”

Tiriel looks outside as if hoping to see a familiar figure approaching the house.

Nothing. 

There is only one thing Tiriel can do about it except for waiting.  

“Alethaine, I need to go away for a few days. You will live with the innkeeper's family.”

“You will go looking for dad?”

“Yes. And, please, don’t make me feel sorry I’ve left you with them.”

Alethaine nods. The innkeeper, his husband, and their five children are the only dwarves in Daggerlake - and almost the same “weirdos” as the Ancunins. Besides, the innkeeper is a retired adventurer and brews the best ale Tiriel has ever drunk. 

“And promise me you won’t crawl on the ceilings. Even if you are asked to.”

“But it’s fun!”

“Yes, but people usually don’t like it when the child they are asked to look after can run away from them to the ceiling.”

“Bu muum…”

“ALETHAINE.”

Tiriel rarely uses her “rage” voice on Alethaine but it always works. Anethaine flinches, her eyes wide open and the book drops to the floor.

“Alright! I won't crawl on the ceiling!”

“Good girl. Now, get dressed and take what you need”

Tiriel hopes it will take her less than a week to find Astarion.

She is even ready to provide an offering to some deity to ensure she won’t coming back home  a widow.

**

It’s hunger. Pain. Desperation.

Astarion wanders through narrow stone halls looking for prey. Nothing. There is nothing. This place is lifeless. 

He is still there, in the dungeons, isn’t he?

Still locked somewhere under his master’s mansion. Starved, beaten, tortured.

It was all a dream

The sun. The warmth of a mortal body. The kisses, the hugs. Home, wife, daughter. It was just a mind trick.

The memories fade so does his consciousness.

A red-haired woman. Freckles on her back. She is saying something to him. Who is she? He can't remember.

A little girl. Cold pale skin, no breathing, blood with a bitter scent of wormwood. Dhampir? Or just an unfortunate child turned into a spawn?

No, they are not real. He is going to hear HIS voice. Humiliating orders. Astarions waiting for it like a lash.

Boy, don’t slouch before me.

Astarion lies on the cold stone. His body is paralyzed. Vampires can spend decades like that - they can’t die of hunger, they just freeze in a neverending torture.

The woman. She keeps invading his thoughts. Who is she? The vision slips away.

You’ve brought cattle, boy.

Yes, the master is here. He is disappointed. He will flay Astarion’s skin and chain him to the wall. But what did astarion do? Did he run away? Did he fail to bring the food? Did he break one of the unwritten rules he couldn’t possibly remember?

The night vale, the stars in the skies, the mountains in the distance. A bunch of red-haired warriors. Kill the vampire. Kill the vampire.

Sun is burning Astarion’s skin.

Did they just return him to his master?

Astarion doesn’t move. Soon there is no name, no reason. Just an empty starving shell.

BLOOD.

Astarion’s body stirs up. Someone alive is close, close enough for his vampiric senses to catch them.

HEART BEATING.

So loud he hears it from a distance.

He jumps on his feet and walks toward his prey.

A woman. Probably, a half-elf. He catches her mixed scent. She is armored with a two-handed ax.

And she is alone.

“Who is there?” she asks, ready to thrust her skull-crushing weapon. Too bad the prey has  dark vision. It gives her some advantages. But she will be dead soon anyway, once she satiates his starving body. 

He bares his fangs and almost physically senses her fear. The blood of a scared creature is the sweetest.

“Astarion?” her voice trembles. She takes a step back.

And drops her weapon.

He rushes toward her and knocks her to the ground. She doesn’t resist for some reason but the vampire doesn’t pay attention to that.

Astarion pierces her neck. Blood streams down his throat. 

So sweet, so delicious. He can’t stop - he won’t stop. Every drop of this woman’s body is going to be his, he is going to satiate himself and then he will go hunting for someone else…

His body slowly gets warmer and his sanity slowly returns.

Astarion. My name is Astarion.

He doesn’t have a master.

He can… feed… on mortals…

Freedom. Sunlight.

Tiriel.

He pulls away and the woman falls on the stone floor, unable to move and barely breathing.

“Oh no…” he mutters observing what he has done. “Tiriel…”

Astarion crawls back to his beloved. Her eyelids are half open, and her skin is almost as pale as his.

“Tiriel!” he slaps her cheek. “Tirel! Stay awake! Look at me, look at me! Oh gods!”

He presses her weak body to his chest, cradling her in his arms. His darling Tiriel, his wife, his thiramin… 

“M-my bag… There is… a… potion” she whispers.

Astarion opens it and finds a small bottle. He unclenches Tiriel’s jaw with his strong hands and pours the liquid into her mouth.

The color returns to her cheeks and her heart stops beating so fast. Her eyes are still full of fear and it hurts Astarion even more.

“Tiriel… I…” Astarion mutters but he can’t say anything else.

What is he going to say, after all?

“Astarion, what the hells happened to you?” she finally says. “You looked like a fucking ghoul! Well you still do… a bit”

Astarion gulps. His throat hurts. He needs more. He is too weak, too exhausted. Astarion looks at his hands to avoid Tirilel’s eyes and horror pierces him once again.

His hands are all covered in burns. Nail plates are broken, and the skin hangs in shreds. 

“Hey! Astarion, look at me!” Tiriel finally makes herself sit up and grabs his mutilated hands. “Hush, I am here, I am here!”

She hugs him and he feels how weak she is. His body trembles, the panic crushes his mind with boiling hot waters, tears stream down his face and his mouth is open in a silent scream.

“Hush, my love, it’s going to be alright. We are going home. Alethaine misses you”

Alethaine. His daughter.

He is safe. His master is dead. He has it all.

And he’s almost lost it.

Tiriel cups his face. “Astarion, I shouldn’t have let you go. I knew something was wrong. Did they try to kill you?”

“I don't remember.”

“Where are your things? Daggers? The armor?”

Astarion looks down - his feet are bare, the trousers and the shirt are all in rags. He does look like he just emerged from a tomb.

“Damn. Well, let’s hope no one will attack us on the way back. Come on, let’s go outside and get you more blood. And then we are going home and the fuck I am letting you go alone next time!”

**

Tiriel lies on the bedroll. She’s set up the tent in the cave—close enough to the surface but with access to the underground tunnels.

She didn’t manage to understand what exactly happened to Astarion and why he was that feral when she found him. But the burns on his skin betrayed the only reason—the sun.

It seems like whoever did this managed to overcome Astarion in a fight and then let him burn in the sun. Astarion managed to get into the tunnels but lost his way. And since the tunnels were completely empty the hunger didn’t let him heal.

She knew they couldn't trust those bastards from Tunland! She has a good intuition after all. Next time Astarion had better listen to his wife!

Her whole body hurts, especially her neck. Astarion rarely feeds on Tiriel—her blood is more like a medicine to him rather than food but when he does he is always gentle, making sure the process doesn’t hurt her. But this—this was a full-fledged assault. He ripped her throat with his fangs and she is alive only thanks to the fact he returned to his senses before it was too late.

She hears light footsteps.

Astarion is back. His hands are healed and he looks like himself, not the starved monster she encountered in the tunnels.

She elbows up, but Astarion pulls away in embarrassment.

“Astarion, come here,” Tiriel asks. “I’ve spent a month in an empty bed. Don’t deprive me of your presence,” she takes his hand in hers.

Together they sit on the bedroll and Tiriel hugs him nuzzling the crook of his neck.

“I am sorry,” he says.

“Don’t.”

“I’ve almost killed you.”

“But you didn't. Astarion, please, you’ve lost yourself because of hunger. I won’t deny I was scared,but it doesn’t mean it has to change anything about us.”

“I almost killed you,” he repeats. “I would have stepped in the sun if I had done it.”

“Hm, and left our daughter an orphan? I don’t think there are many people ready to raise a dhampir.”

“Where is she?”

“I left with the innkeeper’s family. Good thing I went out looking for you. Who knows where the darkness would have taken you.”

He nods and presses his legs to his chest. Tiriel hugs him from behind. When they just started being together she did it daily—a ritual to console him. But it’s been a while since he needed it.

She kisses the nape of his neck. Then she kisses his cheek. Caress his ears. Plays with his curls.

“I love you,” she whispers. “You are the best thing that happened to me.”

Astarion weeps and Tiriel tugs him closer.

“You need to meditate, love” She kisses his forehead. “Think about something good. Remember how we left Baldur’s Gate twenty-six years ago? We hit the road at sunset and just walked hand in hand. Or when we were stuck in some shitty northern town for the whole winter? I couldn’t make myself leave the room and one night you came back with a pair of rings. You just put one on my finger and kept staring at me as if you saw me for the first time.”

“I prepared the whole wedding speech but forgot it all,” Astarion says, not even trying to get into reverie.

“Or remember how we were both freaking out because of the pregnancy? One day you just knelt in front of me, placed your hand on my belly and burst into tears because your vampire hearing allowed you to hear Alethaine’s heartbeat.”

“We need to go home, Astarion, and you need to rest. Then we can talk about anything that bothers you.”

**

Alethaine flips the page of the book. Thanks to dark vision she can read in complete darkness. The story catches her mind—it is a story of old times when elves ruled Faerun. Thousands and thousands of years before the Age of Humanity, her ancestors walked those lands, building the towers and castles and practicing the ways of long-forgotten magic.

But the intrusive thoughts keep getting into her young mind. First, Dad disappeared without a trace and Mum was so worried she could barely do anything. Then, Mum left town and Alethaine was all alone. Sure, the dwarven family is friendly and they don’t mind taking care of one more child (it’s not a big deal if there are five or six of them), but with every passing day Alethaine was getting more anxious.

What if both of her parents had died? What if she was already an orphan? 

Two months passed like this. And then, she was woken up by familiar voices, and her tiny world was restored.

The dhampir puts the book away and takes her plushie. It’s nice to sleep in her own bed for once, but she feels so lonely it cripples her.

Alethaine walks to her parents’ room. Mum and Dad lie in each other’s arms. They discuss something she can’t understand.

“I think we have a visitor,” Astarion chuckles. “What is it, princess?”

“Can I sleep with you?” Alethaine asks, pressing the plushie to her chest.

“Sure, come here!” Astarion opens the blanket up inviting Alethaine in. The dhampir immediately nestles between her parents.

Tiriel hugs her and kisses the crown of her head and Astarion adjusts a bit so he can see both of his girls.

Alethaine relaxes. Her mother’s heartbeat is so loud it’s basically the only thing she can hear. Dad doesn’t breathe and his heart doesn’t beat, but she finds special comfort when he holds her—there is something more natural about his cold hands than her mother’s warmth.

“Did something scare you, princess?” Astarion asks, intertwining his fingers in Alethain’s long soft hair.

Alethaine feels a wave of sadness and fear rising up in her body. Before she manages to say anything coherent she bursts in tears causing both of her parents to immediately rush to comfort her.

“Were you afraid we were absent for so long?” Tiriel asks, placing Alethaine in her lap. Her motherly kisses are so tender the dhampir cries louder and more desperate.

Astarion sits up and wraps his hands around them both.

“I am sorry, princess. We aren’t going to leave you anymore, we promise.”

Alethaine sniffs, pressing her nose into Tiriel’s chest. 

And then she hears a quiet lullaby.

Astarion hums it in Elven. Alethaine can’t decipher words but the song soothes her as Tiriel sways her a bit in her arms as if the dhampir was still a baby. 

Both her mother’s warmth and her father’s undead coldness weave a perfect sense of comfort for her. 

Of course, they were going to come back. They are her parents. They can’t disappear, they can’t die.

As Alethaine drifts into sleep, she notices the way her parents look at each other. 

This image is being engraved in her mind and Alethaine will remember this even years later.

Even centuries later Alethaine Ancunin will remember the way her mother smiled to her father and the way Astarion held Tiriel’s hand. The way they talked to each other, the way they saw the world in their lover’s eyes.

Three centuries later, when Alethaine takes her own daughter in her pale hands, this image will flee into the dhampir’s mind, and she will weep, mourning her long-dead mother.

--

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[happykinzz]

Marble Hornets as Parents Headcanons

welcome to my delusional ramblings

Jay

Is defiantly one of those nervous Dads

He'll turn around and his kid will be on top on the kitchen counter and he'll have to use all the life force in his body to run over there and stop them from falling off

Listens very intently to his baby's rambles and often responds with general feedback

"Gago babwa chuuu" "Yeah that's a pretty weird dog isn't it?"

You know he signed up for one of those "Mommy and Me" classes where the parents and the baby do arts and crafts and stuff together

He's a regular at them and all the Moms there enjoy his and the baby's company

Alex

Is very hands on with his parenting

Diaper need changed? Done. Baby's crying? Bring them over here. You want a cookie? Take two.

Some may think he's not enthusiastic about his kid but thats further from the truth.

He just wants the absolute best for his baby.

Many times he'll over work himself with the baby and someone (usually Jay) will have to step in and try to get him to rest.

He will be like this during the child's baby phase, but as the child grows older he'll loosen up more.

Maybe he'll even crack a few corny Dad jokes ;)

Jessica

Also a very nervous parent.

But a very good one at that!

I think she would take her baby on long car rides just for the heck of it.

Also takes her kid out to a lot of fun stuff like Children's Museums and Aquariums :)

Is big on her kid having imagination and creativity in their life

Will spend a lot of time playing with her kid to encourage this.

Also reads to her kid a lot, they have a little "library" at the house where her kid will "check out" books

Overall a very good Mom who is giving her kid a great childhood :))

Tim

Papa Bear

If you even mildly inconvenience his baby he will at the very least give you the stink eye

Like Jessica, he's big on his kid having a childhood where playing and books are a big thing

When his kid is a newborn, 9 times out of 10 you will find him lying down with his baby sleeping on his chest, will also act like you're interrupting an important meeting as well

"Do you mind?" "You're gonna wake my baby."

Has his kid "help out" with chores when they're a little older ( they picked up little pieces of dust off the floor )

His heart breaks whenever he hears his little baby cry, many times he'll end up crying too

Has a tender voice when his talks to his child

Brian

A very cool Dad

Plays with his kid a lot, and like Alex he will meet his baby's needs in anyway possible

Has a sixth sense when it comes to his child, like he'll know his kid will need something before they even ask

Has one of those baby carriers that go on your chest and uses it all the time

Will crack Dad jokes before his kid can even comprehend the concept of human language

If his kid gives him something he will most defiantly keep it, he ends up having a whole box full of the little trinkets and drawings the kid has given him over the years.

Is super supportive of whatever activity the kid wants to pursue,

Just imagine one of those toddler flag football games where no one knows what the heck they're doing. and you jut hear the most elated man ever cheering from the crowd like it's the NFL

"THAT'S MY KID!!!!" "DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!" "MY KID MADE A GOAL!!!"

[dairy-farmer]

I call this the Highlander Au! >:Dc There can Be Only One! (Unless he REALLY enjoys the process and the world stops going to shit for like... FIVE god damned minutes!) (The second is sadly unlikely)

Tim? Fully Cis gendered male. Not terribly ATTACHED to this, physically, but certainly identifies as Male and has a male body.

Maybe it's been all the near misses. The "all my friends fuckin DIED on my and I mentally spiraled like you wouldn't believe". Could be him finally reclaiming his life. Or yet another horrible mental spiral. Who knows!

But he's decided.

He wants to be a Dad. *sound of various Bats choking and/or dropping things*

Is even seeing anybody? Nope. How the FUCK is he gonna get a baby?! Oh, normal, Bat Paranoid fashion. Cloning tube. Same way Damian happened. He just needs to figure out the maternal DNA and he's golden. Figure out where to hide his tech to stop Villainous Baby Snatching Plots.

Because that's a very real concern.

No you can't talk him out of this. Timmy want himself a baby. Is already designing a nursery and studying child development books. Parenting manuals, getting those little animal onsies, lazer death grids to ward of Ra's ninjas. The works.

Bruce is off to the side, quietly having an aneurysm and choking to death on his own spit. Baby boy? Fatherhood? OFFSPRING!? Alone and not going to LET HIM HELP!? But why would he help!? Bad idea! But. But he needs to BE THERE to TAKE CARE of TIM and the future BABY! Aaaaaaaaa-!!!!!

It's a... "Fun" time. Dick is nearing a nervous breakdown. Bruce not far behind. Damians having Feelings(tm).

Then! At a Wayne Charity Event(tm)? Small glowing child. Looks alien. Is getting upset. People backing away IN A HURRY because they just watched this child WARP REALITY to turn the nearest table into candy.

Tim is there as the face of the family. A hero. Already feeling generally Paternal. Upset baby is Bad. So he goes in, dispite clear protests. Gets low and talks soothing.

But the alien Wants Her MOMMY!

And? Oh. Well there goes the protective amulets JLA Dark made for him. Now he's in an alien dress and? Very much no longer Cis. Guess he would have and DID inherent from his dad's side of the family, no boobs. Tiny. At least he got his mom's killer legs.

And the kiddo isn't scared any more. Since he "looks like mommy".

Except not even remotely, because she warps into being an HOUR later, looking for her daughter and is made of pure light. Thanks him. Doesn't FIX anything. And just leaves. Gee, thanks lady.

There were REPORTERS there. Tim Drake has tits now. Front page news. Great. Ra's is GOING to know and get WEIRD about it.

Tim shrugs. Off to Leslie we go, though. Check up time!

Yep. Full lady bits action. And, hey! Shiny new spleen! So that's nice.

It DOES change his plan though. He didn't, you know, collect any "samples" yet. But? Does... does he NEED too? He COULD concoct a story of "rich person hires mystic to get penis back" after going and getting magiced back.... OR?

He could have someone put a baby in him! *simultaneous Bat Choking Noises*

MUCH easier to defend. THEN he could be changed back, after the baby is weaned. The problem is who to trust? Ra's is ABSOLUTELY going to do everything in his power to get his seed inside Tim new puss. So a seed bank is out. And-

*hands slam on the table*

Obviously! We can't trust anyone outside this house! Villian plots and Ra's specifically! Bat paranoia! W-we will just have to make this sacrifice for you!

.....Weirdly intense, but okay.

Objection! Says Tim's newly no longer Dead team mates. Tim tried to CLONE Kon! OBVIOUSLY it should be Kon! And Bart! Bro Threesome! Let nature decide! (Then kid number 2 is the other Bro, is only FAIR)

ALSO a good point. He did have that promise, if one of them ever got turned into a girl. And a Kon baby WOULD be nice...

Shit! Grayson pulls "last of my legacy and I have so much to make up for" cards!

Is betrayed by his OWN FATHER (Bruce! How COULD YOU!?) Who plays "you saved me from the time steam and nearly died for me, let me help(emotional)" to devastating effect!

Cheating! Howls the Speedster! You're CHEATING!!!

And Tim stands there... kinda confused but finding he's actually Really In To This as people argue over how much THEY want to be the one to put a baby in him? He's never felt this badly WANTED. Desired.

He may not want to go through the whole "actually carrying a baby for 9 months then pushing one out" thing more then once.... but the fighting over him thing? This might be awaking something.

And, well, Kon already made a good point. Why try to control it? Let nature decide~

Everyone can help.

The argument stops dead. For all of the seconds before "who goes first?" Occurs to everyone.

Sadly for THEM, Bruce is a bastard willing to play dirty to get what he wants. And his house his rules. He goes first. After all, he no doubt smirks, none of THEM have the... experience, to handle a virgin properly.

He refuses to allow Tim hurt on his watch.

Got it? Good talk. Tim, with him.

Which is what leads to Tim clawing at the bed and begging like his life depends on it, soaked in sweat, hours later. As Bruce STILL gently, teasingly, RUTHLESSLY eats him out. Puddles worth of lube ruining the sheets and easing his way, as he works calloused fingers DEEP to find spots Tim didn't know he had yet. As they rub and tease and fuck against those spots so relentlessly it feels like Tim's coming apart.

He didn't even know he could MAKE half these noises.

His hole is so wet and sloppy, it's like it's given up. Like his body can do nothing but quiver and twitch under Bruce's hands. Given how big he is? Probably the point. Because he crawls up to loom over Tim like a giant. Presses kisses to his whimpering, sweaty face. And rocks into his exhausted body, filling every inch of him.

It doesn't even hurt. Something that big probably SHOULD for his first time, but Bruce isn't a legendary playboy for nothing. And it just fills and Fills and FILLS. Rubs against everything in a way that makes his toes curl. Makes him want to gasp and cling, even though he's so exhausted.

Bruce just shooshes him. Pulls him close. He won't have to do a thing. He can just cling to Bruce and feel good. Bruce is here. He's got you.

And it's the best thing Tim's ever felt. Forget masturbation, sex is AMAZING. Bruce rocking then thrusting then pounding into his body. Holding tight like something precious. Hammering his good spots still he sees stars. Til he's nearly sobbing, hiccuping, from how good it feels to have his insides all messed up.

Bruce fills him up. All gooey and warm. Picks him up and carries him to a clean bed to get wiped down and tucked in. Cleans up then joins him. Fills him back up and tucks him close. He feels boneless and precious. Sleeps like the dead.

Discovers sex with a puss is AWESOME.

Next morning, he's barely out of Bruce's room before Dick is scooping him up and dragging him into his room. Almost franticly bending him in half as he presses him to the bed, kissing the air out of him. Holding his face as he whispers filthy praise into his lips. Hips relentless as they slam home, pounding at just the right angle.

Like he's trying to make for YEARS of mistakes by pouring it all into pleasure NOW. Clinging tight and trying to fry Tim's brain with how good he can make him feel. Dick buries his faces against Tim's neck and rutts like he's making up for lost time. Fucking Tim through orgasms, spilling again and again, like he's determined to drain his balls dry and wring every last bit of pleasure he CAN out of Tim's exhausted body.

Tim has to threaten to hit him with an alarm clock to let him up. Tim wants LUNCH damn it. They missed breakfast. By a LOT.

But then work calls. Damn it. So he has to get dressed. Double damn it. And he does it, but refuses to be pleased about it. Resolves things. Even gets ahead on work. Only for DAMIAN to walk stiffly into his office. Sus.

The gremlin hands him a frankly VERY well put together report on why he, Damian AL Ghul... should be allowed to fuck a baby into Tim. He has brought along a slide show and genealogical report.

.......Explain.

Damian does. He REALIZED some things about himself. When Tim was discussing becoming a Father. Using the same method as he, himself, was created. Went through a whole "go to the Kent farm and have a life change adventure" character growth arc, as you do. And? Now realizing that he potentially COULD be DIRECTLY involved in the Hypothetical Child's life instead of as an uncle?

He wants in. They could be glorious, combined. AND he firmly believes Tim will be a magnificent Mother. Let him Father your child.

It's a bad idea. Tim knows this. He literally JUST slept with Bruce yesterday and nothing good comes from sleeping with AL Ghul's. They Obsess. But? Fuck it. Maybe THIS is the thing that finally stops the Tim-Gremlin cold war and bring peace to house Wayne once and for all. He unbuckles his belt. Walks over to his resting room.

And Tim KNOWS, even as he's being urgently fucked into the fold out bed, that this is an AWFUL idea. No way in HELL, from the desperate and sloppy thrusts, clinging, panting and whines, is this NOT Damian's first time. He's utterly undone.

Pounding load after load into Tim because it feels too good to stop. All enthusiasm and no skill. Half the pleasure Tim's even GETTING is his own hand, relentlessly teasing his own clit. But? Oh. The feeling of being wanted so BADLY. Of cum, gushing and gushing into him. Knowing it's HIS hole that's so good, it's driving Damian incoherent.

He feels... sexy. It DEFINITELY does something for him. He may not be able to go back. Could see himself enjoying being a milf.

But of course. Business hours end. And he PROMISED! Is swept up by Bart for their threesome. Which, after several rounds and untold loads of near-no-refractary-period speedster cum dumped inside him? Is kinda spotty, in his memory.

All he knows for certain is he wakes up to his sheepish best friends, "Sorry we fucked you unconscious repeatedly" bribes, no voice, and a warm bath. He's also plugged up and FULL full of that premium speedster/half-kryptonian blend cum, because apparently his friend intend to WIN and nothing says victory like overwhelming odds. He'd call them fuckers, but they ARE and hold no remorse. He can't move.

Carry him you bastards.

When he asks where Cassie is, he learns she's apparently trying to harrass the magic users into a making her a temporary "turn me into a dude" amulet. Both as a gift AND so she can join the race for Father Of Tim's Baby. Huh. Interesting new options.

Obviously, throughout ALL of this, ninjas. Because Ra's has never wanted to smash so hard in his LIFE.

Instead, Tim is out here, on Jason's shitty couch. Getting lifted up and slammed down onto his cock. Called baby girl. Princess. Jason's never been harder. Already planning their kids graduation dinner and baby number three.

Tim feeling precious and taken care of and DESIRED. Like the young adult with a first shitty apartment he never got to be. Something so close to normal. Put a baby in him. Fuck him like you love him, like they do this every Saturday night, then eat pizza and watch trash TV. Fill him up.

And if course~ it's a VICIOUS game of Fuck The Tim keep away, up until one day he starts to show. Then Everyone is loving and coddling and in a "No I Am The Father" cold war. The birth is a nightmare, because Tim is slender and more scar tissue then not. But?

Adorable quarter-Kryptonian! With the biggest blue eyes and Tim's porcelain doll face.

Tim is NOT doing that again. Ffffffuck giving birth. And being pregnant! Granted, the EARLY part? He loved. He glowed. Getting pregnant was AWESOME. But later stages? God awful. Clone tube babies from here on out.

Absolute Devastation in the Tom Fucking Community. Babe no! You can't MEAN IT!

Woah, hey! He never said he'd STOP. "Getting Pregnant" is very, VERY enjoyable. He's just refusing to carry SHIT. Birth control for HIM. Scooping that slurry of "leave it up to Nature" out and storing it. Now... Kon stop being smug and hold your son.

-🐼🐼🐼

😭😭😭 tim getting everyone to come to dinner and they all think it was alfred and are like 'this was a great idea alfred! we should all get together like this more often' only for tim to cough and say well actually i called you all here, i figured you all deserved a heads up since i'm going to be undergoing some serious life changes. everyone's confused and then tim says he's going to have a baby.

immediate panic and some disappointment from bruce because he thinks this is a teen pregnancy and he expected better from tim only for tim to have to yell to interrupt everyone and say there is no 'girl', not yet anyway. he's just announcing that he's GOING to have a baby. they're not yet conceived and now the family is dealing with whiplash of how of course TIM would do something like this now they're sitting their listening to him talk about the ideal gene pool given tim's family has a history of mental issues and he's going into some very detailed things like nurseries and everyone just wants him to slow down because tim is still a kid!!! dick is older than him and even HE doesn't feel ready. so everyone is trying to talk tim out of it while tim insists he's ready, he's been going to a therapist for 11 months trying to deal with his issues so he COULD be ready to be a parent.

which of course baffles them even more because???? dick has been trying to get them all into therapist for years and tim just???? went??? on his own????

bruce is of course the least welcoming of tim's ideas of teen parenthood. because what about highschool, college? at least ONE of his kids has to go to college!

tim however says no, says his GED is more than enough.

bruce tries finding other angles, asking what if he just sets tim up with babysitting gigs? make him see kids aren't that great and tim just huffs and said he already did a bunch of babysitting and volunteering at the children's centers in gotham as part of his adoption application!

which ???? just stressed bruce out even more?! because tim had tried to adopt a baby first? but apparently got rejected because of his age, lack of partner, and lack of job which tim loudly says is unfair because bruce was in his 20s when he took in dick and HE hadn't had a partner or a job!

so the family is protesting, despertly trying to get tim to change his mind,,, then tim gets a womb and suddenly the protests die down VERY quick.

[windmaedchen-oceanhorn]

The badge of the Heroic Order. They are personalized. Valen carries his on the left shoulder, underneath his fur cloak.

Valen - Headcanons .............................................................

I like the apparently ditched background info for Valen (see this post again), but in case you don't know it, here's a short summary:

Valen's born into the ruling family of Stoutstone Isle but has never taken interest in that heritage, often running away to explore the surroundings and mingling with the common folk and soldiers, joining them at their campfires to dream about stories of heroism, all for the girls. xD He kept his true identity hidden but it was revealed when he wanted to formally join the army (navy, in this case) at age 16. The soldiers now treated him differently, particularly as he was given a fake superior title. In anger he demands to go through the training properly, but his grandfather (and ruler) denies equally angrily. So Valen throws out his rank and walks off, leaving the island behind. He continues as a mercenary, traveling all over the Empire, until ... (my headcanon starts here) ... being dragged into the Heroic Order by Hogan. Since then he's a member of the Heroic Order and Solitaries, living in Holistone.

I am placing this isle in the rough region of north/west Great Britain. Same weather, same grey tones everywhere, same accents… xD I don't think of his family or home as a pretty castle full of glitter and pomp. It is just as gritty and dirty as the rest of the island, dark rugs on the walls and all wealth hidden behind thick grey stone walls, stashed away inside trunks. It's probably VERY far from Holistone, being on the other side of the Lightbearer Empire.

His dad is some low-level admin under his grandfather's rule. He might never rise to the throne, though, giving way to others to administrate the island until Fay's take-over.

When he was 8 years old, Valen's mother died shortly after giving birth to Fay. She [Valen's mother] always encouraged his son to explore the world with his own eyes, instilling in him the belief that actions speak louder than words or ranks or titles. He then begins to "run away" regularly from home to seek out the truth outside the castle walls.

Valen never went to a school (properly). He had private lessons, of which he sat through enough to know the basics. Most knowledge is self-taught, by reading or talking to people. This means he can have entertaining bouts of ignorance! xD

When there is something he's interested in, he takes the time to educate himself. He is reading educational books but is not at all into fiction. He does read poetry for inspiration on how to charm the girls (in exchange for intel, of course).

He most certainly does appreciate beauty whenever he sees it. Be it a beautiful appearance, a wonderful character, a moving situation, a good piece of music, a stunning picture… but as a man of (charming) words, most of all, a skilful application of words strung together poetically.

He strangely feels inclined to write experiences and emotions down poetically. Hence his admiration for those who can and his understanding for those who cannot but try. Since his penmanship is not of importance to him, and the ladies usually don't need anything very complex to cooperate, he isn't excellent but also not bad. He's right at this place where one wants to try badly, but is too aware of one's weaknesses, so that nothing would ever be sufficiently good enough to match the need.

Valen is stupidly confident and nonchalant about it, which bothers his colleagues sometimes often. It's hard to describe, but it's just this little sting of jealousy, if you perceive someone else to succeed so seemingly easy, as if it was no big deal. It appears as if Valen doesn't value the effort to get there or has no appreciation for the potential risk involved, and that can be off-putting for others. Firstly, that is, of course, not true and it is always their own insecurities at play and not Valen's fault. And secondly, this doesn't mean Valen's free of doubts or insecurities himself. ;-)

............................................

Valen isn't interested in the conflict with other factions. He's not the guy to "rescue the world". But he IS the guy to rescue "HIS world". He is concerned with the well-being of those in his immediate surroundings because that's all that matters (and from there the results ripple like waves beyond his world).

Hence the good relationship between him and Merlin. He takes care of her, while Merlin is taking care of the world at large. Merlin's power forces such a responsibility on her, removing her from the small worlds people live in. It is making her dependent on people such as Hogan and Valen, who keep her involved in the small worlds of theirs. Human well-being depends entirely on these real, small world relationships (and keeps them humble).

He has failed some previous jobs. Not everyone or everything can be saved or protected. It is still gnawing on his mind occasionally, making him feel rather small and powerless in the face of destiny. Then, for a short time, the smile on his face fades.

..............................................

His scar happened among the things that led to Hogan engaging Valen around 5-6 years ago. Valen somehow was at the right time at the right place and got entangled with some business near Holistone. It was an injury taken because Valen stepped up to go beyond what was ever expected from him. Hogan immediately liked the young man and offered him a place to work. Valen was unemployed at that time and Hogan didn't expect he would win him over with the "meagre" pay he could offer but Valen ended up accepting after all.

Valen really just lives by his own honor code and as long as he serves the one he chose to follow (Hogan), all is well for him. In the end, serving under Hogan in the Heroic Order is just his latest choice of work, not least because it granted him the knighthood. There is probably nothing better than that but as hinted at, I think he would have a difficult time later to decide upon his future if Merlin ever made him choose between becoming her life-long personal knight or staying with Hogan. (He said so pretty much straight at the beginning but I consider that a move which had more to do with drawing the truth out of Merlin rather than being a serious consideration at that point.)

Valen also has no real military training. xD LOL But he got a quick run-down from Hogan, not personally, but he arranged something so that Valen could catch up. There was nothing much he needed to learn, other than how exactly the hierarchies are structured and what bureaucratic requirements must be met etc.

................................................

I think Stormcaller is a fabled sword actually originating from Stoutstone Isle. Owning that sword is basically a childhood dream since it features so much in local folktales. They say its true potential can only be unlocked by someone worthy of wielding it. How it ends up in an auction, in Holistone no less, I don't know. But it seems to have been considered as nothing but a pretty sword to be kept on a wall, being mindlessly passed on from one rich to the other. Until Valen happened to walk past the auction house seeing the items on for that night's event. I don't know how exactly he got it, but I am 100% certain that he did not simply make a bid and won it. xD Nonetheless, the sword seems to be rightfully in his hands afterwards, as there are no claims made otherwise.

Stormcaller makes use of gems, by the way. Fay would probably have tons to say about that. xD The electricity we see in-game is actually known to Valen also. He can feel the buzzing power running through the sword when he touches it and how it enables him to move faster and deal more than melee damage to his foes. While those he attacks get stunned by the magic, Valen only takes the positive effects of it, making him… truly the one who is worthy of wielding it.

Regarding his second sword (further HCs recorded here): Valen says "it's not the right time to use it", suggesting that there is going to be a specific time for it to be used. Reminds me a little of Walker who used his old friends gun to get revenge. At the moment, this is a bit too much of a stretch, thinking that Valen might use it in similar fashion. He isn't really the character for such actions. Instead, I think it's more along the lines of a promise made not to use it until a certain condition is met. A promise important enough to carry that sword for years. To whom he made that promise? Hmmm… ;-)

...............................................

Valen started playing poker when he became a mercenary. He enjoys the psychological tactics it involves and uses his out-going inclinations to massively confuse the other players. xD

He's frugal by being too lazy to shop. He saves up merely by not knowing what to spend it on. Most of his salary goes towards food and drink. He lives very minimally.

Even if, further down the line, his family house came hunting him down, he would never return to Stoutstone Isle. He just doesn't see any scenario in which he'd be happy doing so. He makes to claims to any heritage rights, either. He's left and he's gone, leaving the isle fully to sort out it's own problems. (Maybe a reason why that canon was ditched, since it seems irrelevant to his backstory if it never came up again in any sort of relevance.)

And that's it. For now. xD Again, thanks for reading this wall of text. <3

EDIT: ditched the idea about Valen's dad and leaving it open regarding his mother, being dead or not... Also added a link to the headcanons regarding his second sword.

[dead-boys-club]

You characterize everyone really great! Except Touya don't you think you write him a little too expressive? it just doesn't seem very fitting.

I'm not sure if I should say thank you or...

So, I'm not going to do what I did with Hawks and write you a whole book ( i lied ) on why I write Toya the way I do. However, I'll give a little piece:

Dabi was a mysterious, sarcastic jackass. Dabi was a cover. A persona. He didn't exist. He was built to mask intentions until Toya got where he needed and wanted to be. It's very simple.

Toya, on the other hand, in case no one's noticed is very emotional, very expressive and talks waaay too fucking much. I mean, we spent like 7 pages with him monologuing. He's not.. some emotionless, dead inside jerk and I also refuse to write him as some overly sexualized nympho - it's kind of tiring seeing all these characters reduced to nothing but sex and bad clichés. I mean - he's a super traumatized, unstable dude with a mental issue here and there, who actually enjoyed hurting people, but he's not a sociopath. However, he's also not in denial about a single thing. He knows what he went through, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's a little unhinged.

However - you're talking about a kid who basically just wanted attention and approval, who wanted his dad to be proud of him. Lmao, I hate to break it to you anon, but half the people I know, including myself, are very familiar with this kind of situation and the trauma of it. ( if you feel the need to come at me for the burning alive part, you can take your smart-ass right to the block button and not waste my time. )

I really, really hate that I have to keep repeating myself about these characters actually having depth and being more complex than you give them credit for.

Do you even understand what its like to be a deeply traumatized person, who sought those things and ended up so fucking disappointed that you became someone else? That you stopped trusting, stopped loving - you just kinda broke? The scenarios and reactions I've written for him with a partner convey someone who finally found someone else that isn't pushing him away, isn't screaming at it and is accepting how he wants to deal with things. And I've also made it clear in my writings of him that it confuses the shit out if him and he doesn't just accept that someone loves him and is proud of him... because how the hell is he supposed to know how to react to something he's never had? I didn't just.. make him into a character that changed over night and is good and happy, etc etc. No. Because I know better and I'm not going to shit on a character with complexities stemming from trauma and mental disorders.

As someone with a handful of mental problems, trauma out of the ass, that relates to this character on a pretty scary level - I refuse to write him on the surface of what Dabi was supposed to portray. I will continue to write Toya the way I always have and if you don't like it, that's perfectly fine. I'm not asking you to like it or change your OPINION, because that's what it is, but you will not come onto my page and tell me it's wrong. Lmfao.

I'm sorry that you want some shitty, second hand surface level Dabi writing that I refuse to give. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully you find another writer who will do that for you.

( Let me clarify: I am 100% shitting on how this opinion was brought to me. I'm not shitting on people that write him that way, not everyone spends 179395 hours in a fixation obsession over a character; I do. Write how you want. Write how it makes you happy. But don't go to people and talk to them like this.)

You could have easily written something like 'you characterize everyone really great but I don't agree with toya. can i ask why you characterize him like this?' Literally could've just asked. Not 'oh this is great except this one this one is wrong'.

If it doesn't seem fitting to you, that's okay. Then my writing isn't your taste. Go find someone else you enjoy?

[caughtthedarkness93]

So I've got some Acolyte thoughts again after giving the last episode a couple days to percolate and talking to my partner about it. Spoilers under the cut.

So the thing about the characters we've seen die so far - Yord and Jecki - is that they are non-essential characters, in effect. They have a role in the story, but not a load-bearing one. The story isn't about them where the story emphatically is about Mae, Osha, Sol and our new Sith friend. The show is at its core about the relationships between these four people. It's probably going to spin off in some really wild directions given where the last episode ended, but Mae and Osha, Mae and Qimir, Mae and Sol, and Osha and Sol have so far been the primary defining relationships that keep the story in motion, and there's burgeoning hints at a pre-existing relationship with Sol and the Sith Lord and the last episode's ending strongly suggests a big part of the next episode is going to be about building on the beginnings of Osha's relationship with the Sith Lord that was established when she saw shit go down in the last episode, especially with the implications that there's more to the story of what happened to the witches that raised her.

So it makes sense for those two to die, as their stories are secondary to these four core characters who define the conflict of the show. They're secondary characters who have intrigue and are involved in that conflict, but they're not the ones guiding it, not really.

But what I find really interesting about this is that they are both very loyal adherents to the Jedi Order and the Jedi Code as it is understood at this point in-setting. Look at how they both are introduced. Yord enters the story reuniting with his old friend Osha. Where she greets him warmly and happily, he's very much all business and arrests her pretty much immediately without really bothering to listen to her or corroborate her story or check her alibi in any real way. This sets up his extremely by-the-book nature which, of course, extends to his view of the Jedi Code. Jecki, meanwhile, is introduced chastising her master for his nostalgic attitude towards Osha because to her it looks uncomfortably like attachment - as we know, that's forbidden for the Jedi. It also sets Sol in contrast as someone who has a bit of a less strict view of what is ideal in a Jedi and how one is supposed to act.

So when we lose them, we don't just lose two characters we'd really started to feel some affection towards, we lose our two characters who are most attached to the order's rules. And what we're left with is a Jedi school flunkout, everyone's new beloved Jedi dad who loves you in a way the Order doesn't seem to like much, the very face of unhealthy codependency, and a fucking Sith Lord. The least messy of these characters is clearly deeply wounded by the past and struggles to contain his emotions at times. And now, his emotions have become a huge part of the show's battleground, and he's lost the two strongest anchors to the Jedi way when he needs them most.

And while we're at it, it also deprives Osha of the same. When Yord comes to see her, she's genuinely excited to see him again and proud of him for making Knight. When she decides to leave before the Khofar mission, she goes out of her way to say goodbye to Jecki. It's clear the two have developed a bond over the course of the story.

All that's left for Sol and Osha is an existing connection they have with each other - the very connection the fallen Jecki enters the scene criticizing.

That on top of how this show is very interested in the Jedi Order and how it navigates is place in the galaxy - as both a religious institution and a political institution and the way those impulses conflict with one another. Already we've seen aspects of how scared the Order is of this getting out. And if the Jedi believe the Sith have been extinct for a millennia by the time of TPM, there's gonna be another shoe that'll drop - especially if Qimir is part of the Rule of Two's lineage. Either this will all get buried or we'll discover things are not how they seem in some other way.

This is gonna be real interesting, I'm sure.

[liquidluckandstuff]

Ok but speaking of that dadmort post... how would Voldemort make Harry go back to bed?

A couple of ways 👀 a younger harry would be totally over the shoulder with him kicking and screaming and Voldemort just tired walking his ass back to bed.

Or an older Harry would just be levitated upside down w his hands behind his back. Old man Voldemort would still be tired and yawning and letting Harry scream and curse at him but never once stopping his tired ass walk. Just "uh huh. Sure, Harry whatever you say. We can talk about it in the morning."

Either way, he would be tucked in (held down magically because Harry would still be fighting sleep/trying to escape) and told a bedtime story that Harry didn't realize was a bedtime story because he wouldn't know how to accept one. He was never read one before so of course the whole process would feel strange and awkward to him.

Someone holding up a book and reading a childrens story to him? he would be thinking "what am i supposed to do. How am i supposed to sit? Where am i supposed to put my hands? am i supposed to keep my eyes open" and having all these ... not sure how to behave thoughts that he wouldn't be able to enjoy the story.

Really, the whole process would happen again and again.

Partly because Harry is just terrified to be there and is too scared to sleep in a place that isn't ... well anywhere (when was the last time he truly felt safe?)

it takes MONTHs before Harry is finally able LET Voldemort lead him back to bed and tuck him in (no spells needed to keep him there). Maybe he feels safe? Maybe he just trusts the routine of it all.

Until finally Voldemort says "you know, you don't have to try to run away to get a bedtime story. I can just GIVE you a bedtime story."

And Harry gets all embarrassed and "What are you talking about? I don't need a bedtime story those are for children!"

But before he goes to bed that night he goes to find Voldemort and shyly asks him if he would walk him to bed (at a normal fucking hour mind you) and then asks if Voldemort would tell him another story (Its just a story not a BEDtime story we don't need labels thank you).

Voldemort who hasn't gotten a normal's night sleep this whole time feels immensely successful. More successful than that time he branded his first death eater.

Maybe being a dad isn't so bad after all.

[oddvanilla]

Not really venting because it isn't my type of thing but like YK some stuff should be let off my chest☹️

Idk why but I feel like I'm a side character in my own life 😭 not just that I feel like a robot (closest thing to that feeling) like everyone else has emotions and can be sad or angry and I just. Exist. Like that's all I have going on...

Sometimes it's a good thing!!! Like hey at least I have no mental illnesses or anything. I'm just always content with my life, and so far this whole year I only felt INTENSE sadness like 4 times and it just went away in the matter of like 3 hours. Even then, that wasn't sadness,, it was just anger at myself. I don't really associate crying with sadness, because I cry here and there for dumb reasons... last time I cried was when I heard my best friends say I love you because I REALLY needed that. And the time before that was me winning a football match on FC 24 against my dad, then I started crying because I started thinking about maybe it would be the last football game he'll ever play with me ☹️ but yeah, last time I cried was like a month ago. It's really rare that I feel like I need to sob or anything. As I said, it's good because people always associate me with happiness and ooo energy.

This isn't the problem tho. I feel like I know so much about everyone but nobody knows crap about me. Like trust me I'm an open book, ask me about anything and I'll give you an extended answer with a life experience + analysis. I get so excited when anyone asks me anything personal like my favourite colour or my favourite hobbies. It's not my friend's faults', trust me. They're amazing people and I will love them forever. But I feel like they're the main characters in MY life. I just happen to be the one who is always taking every picture and recording every moment. But I'll never be in any of those pictures because I'm the one holding the camera.

It makes me sick, I need to know every little detail about my friends, my family, even just a Tumblr mutual, but the closest people to me don't even know my middle name. I love my mom but she doesn't know what I like to do as a hobby. She has no idea that I like writing, or history. But I know everything about her. That's the case for everyone. This feeling makes me sick because I always feel overwhelmed. By the time I wanna go to sleep I'm stuck in bed for 3 hours without sleeping yet because my head is thinking at a thousand miles an hour. I always feel like I have to cut off people here and there so my life can weigh a little less😭

Everyone knows this one, I'm a heavy extrovert, and I talk all the time but it's never about me. When I'm yapping I'm either explaining how something works or talking about that one memory with my friends. I'm not used to venting because I'm scared of someone saying "not everything is about you". I've never been friends with a listener, everyone else talks and even I TALK, but I wish there was just someone out there who knew what's my biggest fear or smth.

Moral of the story, I feel like I bottle my feelings all the time. I think twice before I hit that post button and decide that it should stay in my drafts because oddvanilla is this person who's always happy, if you see me venting it'll be awkward. I don't want anyone to solve my problems, I just don't HAVE any problems to begin with. I just wish someone would listen this time. Hi just notice me pls I have feelings other than energetic!!!! Please keep it in mind at least that I wanna be heard :( I'm sick of speaking up for everyone who can't but I never get a chapter in the book for myself. Even if you just say something like "same omg" at least it would feel better that I'm not alone in this messed up feeling.

[myrskytuuli]

Welp, I finally watched Longlegs...it was a dissapointment.

I was pretty hyped for Longlegs ever since the really intriguing trailer and very good marketing campaign started, and even went out of my way to avoid spoilers before seeing the movie. With expectations so high for another artistic, slow-paced, psychological horror ala Hereditary or the VVitch, I have to say I was left wanting. The more I rotated the movie in my head, the more dissapointed I get.

Warning here be spoilers!

Longlegs is a story about an FBI agent who displays slight psychic abilities on her first case and is then assigned to help with a perplexing serial killer case, the Longlegs case. In longlegs case all forensic evidence suggests a murder-suicide of a family, and cryptogram letters left on the crime scenes and signed by "Longlegs" are the only hint that someone or something else has been involved with the murders. The main character, Lee Harker, eventually finds out that the murders are commited via devil-worshiping man called Longlegs, who makes a life-sized, Satan-infested, doll resembling the family's daughter, gifting it to the family, which then possess the dad to kill the family and himself. In the end, Lee figures out that she was supposed to be one of the victims as s child and that her mom made a deal with the devil to help with the doll-murder-scheme in exchange for Lee's safety.

Let's start with the biggest, most obvious one. The titular character Longlegs is a transmisogynistic caricature who could just as well be a distasteful Daily Wire sketch spliced between the scenes of a serious horror movie. Longlegs, both the movie and the character, relies way too hard on the expectation that you will accept a close up of a middle-aged man in a badly applied lipstick to be a jumpscare in itself. But we will return to Longlegs the character little later. First, I want to talk about Longlegs the movie.

Longlegs is both too much and not enough. It markets itself as an occult detective mystery, but unfortunately instead of getting best of both worlds, it strips both the detective story and the occult story off of its most enjoyable elements. For a detective mystery there isn't much detecting, and for occult movie there isn't much occult.

A lot of occult horrors have gone out of their way to base their stories around real occult histories and as a consequence are full of easter eggs for those who recognise the historical nods. Hereditary references the Lesser Key of Solomon, The VVitch based its horror on real 1600 century archival texts, and even As Above So Below followed real alchemical traditions. This allowed those movies to avoid infodumbing lore, while still having internally consistant mythology that you can dig deeper into, if you want to. Longlegs does not do this. It handwaves towards the idea of satanic occult without ever creating its own internal mythology nor relying on one consistant real-life source. Which for me, personally, felt like a very frustrating experience, because you can't connect the dots of why whatever occult means are used.

Why was Lee getting visions of snakes? Because snakes are spooky and associated with the devil. Why were there bible quotes left at the crime scenes? Because they come from the Revelation and the revelation is the spooky chapter of the bible. Why were these murders being commited? Because Lucifer was bored. Why did the haunted dolls need vibrating metal spheres inserted inside their heads in order to be haunted? So that the doctor can put a stetoschope on one and hear evil vibrations. Why dolls? Because the director read a book about voodoo and found the idea of symphatetic magic spooky. (Not what symphatetic magic means btw. It has nothing to do with christian magic tradition or possession)

lacklustre magical theory could be excused, and I have excused in many other movies, with otherwise solid or entertaining plots, but this movie about catching a serial killer does not actually offer the viewer any clues to put together or follow the detective along the trail of mystery. rememeber that slightly psychic part? A huge mistake in my opinion, which cripples the movie for no reason. (Also, I really felt like the scene of the FBI having a psychic testing program was a leftover from an entirely different movie. Why was it there, what did it contribute??)

Lee is a passive vessel being led around by her psychic visions to every clue and revelation. She doesn't figure things out for herself, instead she receives answers from her visions or by her sixth sense, or by other people telling her the answers. She solves the Longlegs cryptogram because the Cipher is literally handed to her by Longlegs. She finds the picture of Longlegs by being guided to it by her sixth sense, and finally sees the final plotwist of the movie in a dream narrated to her by her mom. There is an actual literal flashback scene that explains the twist, without any lead up of the puzzle pieces slotting into place. As a mystery, it's bad.

okay but why is Longlegs even here? No, but for real. This is one of those movie tries to do too much moments. The movie's focus is supposed to be on Lee, solving a murder mystery, and her strained relationship with her mom, who is secretely killing people. But instead of letting that plot develop and breathe, too much time is spent following Longlegs, who is what? Middle-manager of this scheme? The scheme which goes like this:

Lucifer wants to kill people -> Lucifer contracts a socially maladjusted crossdresser named Longlegs to build dolls which Lucifer can then possess -> Longlegs contracts Ruth Harker to knock on people's doors dressed as a nun and smuggle the dolls inside people's houses -> Lucifer, once inside the house, influences the dad to murder his family and himself -> ???????profit

It's halfway through the movie, why, instead of getting any development for the main character, am I watching Lucifer's doll guy fail at making small talk at the convenience store???!!!!!

Okay, joking aside, lets talk about the transmisogyny and ableism.

Longlegs is an older man(?) who dresses in women's clothes and wears grotesque amounts of makeup, while exhibiting behaviours best described as autistic stims, and lives in Lee's mom's basement.

His mannerisms osciliate between childish deference to aggressive cussing in a way that brings to mind stereotypes of low-fucntioning autistic behaviour. It's very uncomfortable to watch and not in the way the movie wants. I think there is something almost darkly ironic in the way that thorought the whole movie, we never actually see Longlegs, the titular movie monster, do anything evil, and the entire loadbearing part of holding the movie's uncanny athmosphere rests on us finding Longlegs' behaviour creepy without seeing him commit any attrocities. Sure, the uncanniness is supposed to come from the fact that we know that he is the killer, but the movie doesn't want to show us that part. Imagine watching Friday the 13th but you only see Jason doing grocery shopping with his hockey mask on and hear about other characters talking about the murders that happened off-screen. no seriously, why is Longlegs here?

We never find out anything about Longlegs, why he worships Lucifer, why he started the murder doll-scheme with Lucifer in the first place, or what his history is. In the movie Longlegs, Longlegs doesn't matter. Lee finds a picture of him in her home and In the next scene he has been arrested. Longlegs kills himself during the police interview, and Lee goes off to find the actual important part of the mystery, her mom. So....why did we spend all that time with Lucifer's doll guy? Wouldn't all that time have been better spent slowly finding clues that reveal Lee's mom's as the perpetrator???

The metaphor of Longlegs is confused at best, if it even is supposed to have one, which I personally doubt. Sure, the director says is is about the darkness in us all and about families, but...is it?

Longlegs makes gestures towards wanting to be a movie about family violence, but it never arrives at it. The outside influence satanic panic is played comletely straight. There could be something about Ruth, the church lady, being allowed inside family homes because she looks trusthworthy, and bringing with her forces which lead to family violence, but the fact that the force causing the violence is literally the devil in league with a vaguelly inhuman (does he have magic powers? Maybe?) crossdresser kind of kneecaps that interpretation. Allowing strangers inside your suburban home is the root of all evil in this movie. Even Ruth joined in leagues with Longlegs under duress, after home invasion.

The deepest the movie gets is that sometimes parents lie to their children and that makes those children distant from their parents. But that's the literal thing that happens in the movie, this movie isn't really a metaphor for anything in the way that Hereditary or Nope or any other horror movie that seamlessly functions as both good in-universe storie and out-universe fable.

Okay, so there is one very redeeming part this movie has and it's Bill Clinton's giant portrait looming over way more scenes than you would expect, with the energy that I would best describe as Laura Palmer's photograph in the end credits of Twin Peaks. Somehow, Bill Clinton is haunting this narrative.

[sillygoofyqueer]

The Untamed review: episode two!!

Yes, Wei Wuxian, Little Apple IS a picky eater, because he deserves only the best and KNOWS IT

Bro's complaining about a donkey to a donkey, what a guy

"You're like MY master"

"Yo, there's a well!" Wei Wuxian immediately moves out of the way, what a gentleman

HE'S JUST TALKING TO THEM, WOAHHHH

Wei Wuxian helplessly listening to them argue over his inventions is so funny to me

"IS WEI YOUR DAD?!??" "HE'S MY IDOL!!"

The way that Wei Wuxian just gives up and peaces out

Fighting with a donkey now

Take the fucking apple, you dumbass

How old is this woman? She looks about twenty five

IT'S JUST LIKE IN MINECRAFT

Push her off, it'd be so funny and no one would know

Yo, what is Yan doing?? She's busting some moves

Does he just flick any random person?

Ohhhh, I see

Got killed by the mist, that's an embarrassing way to go

Bro is dead, goddamn. Poor lass has no soul

This woman has been through so much, she doesn't deserve it

Someone's catching humans, cannibals in every universe

JIN LING!!! <3

Laughing at the richness of people

"Naur, stay up there. See you later xoxo"

How is this woman here????

LITTLE APPLE BEHAVE YOURSELF

It's fine, he's wearing a mask that covers his eyes

"It's you?" Aw shit, the guy who was a baby when you were around is onto you

Joking, he knows Mo Xuanyu

Mock him and see how it ends up

BRO JUST INSULTED HIM BECAUSE HE'S MOTHERLESS

Stop trying to get up, jesusss

Nice throw

He looks so done with people's shit

STOP FUCKING MOCKING HIM, WEI WUXIAN

Oh, hey Jiang Cheng, you're baby girling quite hard today

No need to crush it

"break his legs? No, feed him to your dog, kiddo"

His boyfriend has come to rescue him

"I'm so unlucky today", on the contrary, I think you're very lucky, these characters are key to the plot and you didn't even have to go looking for them!!

I like the music that plays when the Lan Clan is around

Lan Jingyi stepping up for his father- teacher

Lan Sizhui, how do you know so much

HE CAST THE SILENCE SPELL, I LOVE HIM

He says it like a slur hahahaha

Lan Wangji is too busy mewing, don't break his streak!!

"If you don't get that spirit, don't come back to me!!" Jin Ling was never seen again 😔

He's like a grumpy toddler, I love him so

"Don't worry, we'll pay for the nets we broke!" "Nuh uh!!" Lan Sizhui, you're an angel, don't listen to him

HIS MEWING STREAK NOOOOO

Nice voice though

"I thought I saw my boyfriend 😔"

There are spirits in the lake, I wouldn't suggest drinking from it

Jiang Yanli 😭😭😭

Stop smiling, you're hallucinating

Slander my boy and sees what happens

Slap yourself, go on, like the books

Don't put the blame all on him!!!

Nice, like the books

Feel the shame

That cannot be comfortable, those are literal rocks

LITTLE APPLE!!

He's like they're little leader

That's a fast old man

Lan Jingyi's first instinct is to point a sword at an old man, lmaaoooo

"anything strange here?" "Duh"

Leaving him alone while he's trying to give important plot information, rude

Glowing grass, what the fuck

I think you should eat some

He just wants to clean, leave him alone

WEN QING!!!!!!

Flashbacks lmao

Where'd the old man go

Dirty

No way is that naturally formed

Lan Jingyi, you're surprisingly knowledgeable..I didn't know you could read

Jin Ling and his group of people

AAAAAHH WHAT THE FUCK

"what's up baby girls"

Ugh, it's been moving for a while now

Maybe you should, I don't know, LISTEN TO THE GUY WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING??

Also, y'all ditched him, minus points

"We're out" "fuck, y'all are gonna soooo be punished"

The look he gave, as if this isn't like, a sixteen seventeen year old. No, wait, he's probably eighteen...how old was he before Wei Wuxian's death? ANYWAY

Criticising the Lan education system while you're at it

"wait, you can't be crazy, because that makes sense!!" Lan Jingyi my beloved

Shit, my cover as a crazy person has been blown

Are they having a mewing contest or what?

Well done, Lan Jingyi

WHERE'S MY NEPHEW

I swear it wasn't that big before

Y'all are doing a shit job at running from something this slow

Nice attack, it's still stone though

Dude, listen to Lan Sizhui

"Hey, my sword 🥺😔"

Considering this flute playing is supposed to be shit, it's not too bad

"ugh, you're playing the flute this bad? You must be crazy" Lan Jingyi, make up your mind

STOOOOOP JIN LING

Nice kick, it's still stone though

WEN NING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S HERE TO KICK SOME ASS FOR YOU!!!!

They both look mildly terrified

Dude killed it so easy, well done. Naur, it's just an illusion.

"y'all, no need to be scared, the Yiling Patriarch ain't here" he's standing over there, wearing a mask

I THOUGHT THE LANS WERE BETTER THAN THIS

Luring him over with shitty flute playing

LET GO OF THE COMEDIC RELIEF

His robes are even blowing, just for you

Me leading my next snack away from the bag

Walk faster, goddamn

"hey bbg, it's been a while"

Listen guys, I know you're in love but there's a corpse there

He flew away, like Jesus

So...how is everyone surprised when they do turn out to be gay???

DON'T PIN THE BLAME ON HIM. MY MAN'S IS GUILTY BUT PRETTY

Uhh uh oh. Mom and dad are fighting again

Lan Wangji already looks so bored

The fucking GLARE I CAN'T

"Take off the mask!!!" "Nuh uh, I'm too handsome"

Lan Jingyi needs to stop being smart, it's scaring me

Stoooop, he didn't kill his brother

Okay, so he did, but he didn't want to!!!

He passed out, okay man

Answer the stupid call

FAMILY!!!!!!!

They're so happy 😔

Give him what he wants, it's SYMBOLISM

Lecturing him better than Lan Qiren

You lost him already, not very good at this, ey?

Alcoholic

Of course he will, it's Wei Wuxian

They're so happy :(

[davinashifts333]

BLUE EYED WONDER PT. 3 (Isaac x Witch! SO):

⚫️summary; After Isaac is arrested under false murder accusations, Scott figures out he’s a werewolf, Lydia invites Y/N to the “hangout” with the boys and Allison, everything starts going wrong. On the day of March 9th, Y/N takes advantage of her and Isaac’s bond and trues to convince him Lydia is not the Kanima.

⚠️warnings; mentions of unaliving someone, swearing, implied smut, dirty behavior/talk, beacon hills shit because yes all of it is a huge warning, 18+ ONLY!! k thx bye!!

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March 9th, 2011. I walked into Beacon Hills High with Scott on my trail followed by Stiles. "So you knew about Isaac.. And you.. you're a witch!? And why didn't you think that information needed to be shared, young lady?" Stiles begins the interrogation.

"Yeah, you easily could've said something the night we went over but instead you went and played footsie with him.. IN BED Y/N!" Scott's voice growing louder by the word. I abruptly stop at the last sentence and turn around, irises bright red causing them to stumble back. They quickly look around in hopes no one saw them afraid of their 5'3 best friend.

"I didn't say anything because I thought it was clear. i used to always do magic tricks for you guys and you never seemed to mind especially when Scott began a werewolf, I thought maybe they're used to the supernatural world, seeing as THEY'RE A PART OF IT! And with Isaac? He's literally Derek's only friend like, ever. So it wasn't a far stretch that he'd be a werewolf okay? Now keep my business down." I turn back around making my way to my locker to grab my notes for chemistry.

"Wait, so those magic tricks were real when we were kids? Awesome.." Stiles blurts out earning an eye roll from both Scott and I. I huff into my locker and begin to feel the same thing I always felt when Isaac was close by, a sense of calm growing in my chest. I look around and Scott takes notice.

"What is it? Why is your heart racing?" I hadn't noticed that it did that but apparently it did. It had been weeks since I last saw Isaac being dragged off the Lacrosse field by Sheriff Stilinski for murder charges. "It's nothing, I thought I heard something but I guess I was wrong. Now come on, can we please just let this go and get to chemistry? I'm exhausted enough as it is." I plead with the two.

"Fine but, you gotta show me your powers when we get back to your place. Deal?" Stiles compromises and Scott nods along excitedly.

"Ugh. Fine. I have an entire chest full of spell books and books about me anyway, you can read them aloud and I will perform." Planning a nice after school activity to help me rid my mind of if Isaac was okay or not. As we walk into chemistry we all sit down, I partner up with Lydia and Stiles and Scott sit in the table behind us.

I overhear them talking about a certain problem, being Isaac. Little to my knowledge these last few weeks he was on the run as a fugitive, Derek had been letting him stay at his loft. But, Derek had also been turning him against Lydia, in belief of Lydia being the Kanima we were all after.

"Please tell me it isn't who I think it is.. Scott.. Stiles.." I whisper as I turn around to confront them only to make eye contact with Erica and then Isaac who sat directly behind them. Isaac shooting me a wink and Scott turning back to look at me.

"Oh shit.." I turn back around both excited and confused as to how he was back. I hadn't really been in on the loop of the entire thing until last night so I'm guessing Jackson retracted his statement which made Isaac look guilty and like the number one suspect for his dad's death. We continued class and attempted to stop them from giving Lydia the Kanima venom to test and see if she was in fact the giant lizard who killed people every time the sun went down. When it was suddenly my turn to partner up with Isaac in the experiment.

"Hey princess, miss me?" He whispered into my neck quickly placing a kiss to my collarbone when no one was looking but I could very well sense Scott listening in. Isaac was not one to hide our relationship or attraction to one another from anyone, not even Derek. So this, wasn't a ruse or a plot to get me to spill anything on Lydia.

"Of course I did but you have to stop. It's not Lydia." I look him directly in those gorgeous blue eyes that I had missed so much and his gaze flickers to my lips. Mine following short after.

"I have to do this. If not for us, for Derek. He trusts me and the evidence is all there. She was immune to Peter's bite so, only one way to find out. I'm sorry." The teacher calls for us to switch again and I quickly grab my things in hopes of catching Lydia to be my partner but Isaac knocks my books over beating me to the punch.

"Sorry about that gorgeous, maybe next time." He sits next to Lydia who Allison had already warned not to talk to Isaac and looks over at me. I sit across the walkway from him listening in the entire time as Stiles and I fail to even try the experiment at hand. Lydia picks up the crystalized sugar covered in Kanima venom and Scott abruptly stands up shouting for her Lydia shoots him an annoyed look and takes a bite. Nothing. It was insane, it couldn't be real. She couldn't be the Kanima. The class ended soon after that and I grab Stiles' arm, making my way to my locker, Scott in tow.

"It's not possible. Tell me it's not possible. Scott!" I shout and Stiles clasps a hand over my mouth to shush me.

"Well to be fair Y/N/N you have missed a lot these last few weeks due to the whole 'I miss Isaac' episode you went through. And you saw, the venom did nothing to her. A snake can't be killed by their own venom. So." Stiles clarifies and Isaac is obviously listening in from his locker across from mine.

"So, my best friend is a giant man eating lizard who seeks revenge on people for what? Is there a pattern? Anything?" I ask Stiles and he shakes his head, Scott still too in awe of what had just happened to speak.

"We can't let them kill her, we have to find hard proof, video or actually see her turning into the Kanima." I make sure to focus my voice in Isaac's direction for him to hear me clearly and he slams his locker before walking to where I could only imagine Erica was. Had he changed? Was Derek doing this to him? Or was it guilt from his father dying the same night we slept together? I had to come up with a logical reason for Isaac basically switching over to the 'dark side'.

"I'll see you guys later I have to do something." I say shutting my locker and heading straight for Isaac. I walk up behind him and before he can turn around, Erica cuts in front of me.

"What do you think you're doing here." She growls at me.

"Listen bitch, this has nothing to do with you and as I am well aware you know, if you don't wanna be blown to bits I suggest you get out of my way." Heart steady and irises on full display. Isaac grabbing my arm to pull me closer to him.

"I wouldn't piss her off, Erica." He said, face adorned with that classic smirk of his. "Oh, is this the infamous Y/N Hale? Well honey, I think I can take you." Isaac's grasp tightening as I attempt to free from it.

"Don't, she's not our target, Lydia is. Focus, Erica."

"No, let her find out. Baby girl, I am not afraid of you, my brother or any other supernatural being known to man, got it? If you want a fight, you'll get it but I'll be the one walking away.." Erica scoffs, heart racing at the thought and just before I could pounce, Stiles comes by grabbing my arm.

"Okay! Hello! Y/N, let's go." He drags me away my hands shaking at the thought of ripping Erica to shreds.

"God! I fucking hate that girl, you get hot and all of a sudden you think you're the shit. Please, I'd like to see her try me." I mutter and Stiles shushes me as he walks me into the empty classroom.

"Listen, listen.. Husband privileges! You need to stay calm, so far from what you've told us you could very well blow the school up with one wrong move so please, Y/N.. Breathe.." He cups my cheeks pulling me into a hug. He knew I hated him using the 'husband' title against me even if it was a joke as kids, I always knew it was serious when he brought it up.

"I'm trying.. I just can't believe Derek would do something like this.. Trying to kill Lydia without any proof.. Without any solid evidence.. I.." I finally break. The only people who've ever seen me cry besides Derek, were Scott and Stiles. I guess Scott heard the ruckus and came rushing in.

"Hey, I just heard what happened from Isaac.. Why would you even think abo-.." He stopped when he saw me crying. Coming over to join the group hug we left school and headed to my place to come up with some form of evidence to prove to Derek that Lydia was innocent. Much to my dismay, Isaac had heard the whole thing from outside of the doors. Later that night he texted me, wanting to meet but before I could respond there was a knock at my door. Seeing Scott and Stiles fast asleep on the couch, I walk over and answer it.

"What're you doing here?" I sighed knowing exactly who it was.

"You cried.. But not because you were scared.. Because you were angry.. And I wasn't there.." I step out onto the porch and close the door behind me.

"I'm fine.. Just still learning to control my emotions so I can control my abilities.."

"Do you hate me?"

"Isaac.."

"Do you? I wouldn't be surprised.. I know what Derek's doing is insane but he saved me when I had no one but then, I had you.. For all of two weeks before everyone thought I killed my own father.."

"I didn't. Because that same night you were with me. And I don't hate you. I told you. I'll never hate you, Isaac."

"Well I guess you'll just have to keep telling me whenever I do something wrong."

"Or maybe stop doing crazy shit and we'll be okay."

"Can't promise that, not with our lives. Now can you please kiss me?" His eyes twinkling like stars in the darkest night sky. My hands make their way up his arms, one reaching behind his neck, pulling him down to me.

"Look who's begging now.. I missed you.."

"I missed you more.." I beamed at the confession and finally after weeks of wondering if he was even still alive, I got my guy back.

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A/N: THIS WAS SO CRINGEY BUT ALSO JUST WHAT I IMAGINE ISAAC COMING BACK IN MY DR IS GONNA BE LIKE BECAUSE I AM WHIPPED.. ONCE AGAIN, SOMEONE SEND HELP.. ISAAC LAHEY HAD INFILTRATED MY HEART. ANYWAY! ENJOY! LEAVE FEEDBACK, TTYL! 🩷

[britt-kageryuu]

River is doing a solo stream, she's playing Animal Crossing New Horizons, and trying to customize the terrain, and place items. She'd recently achieved 3 Stars, and unlocked all the terrain customization options. She's setting up a library area that's probably bigger than it needs to be, but still looks nice.

She has K.K. Robot Synth playing from a few stereos placed around her island.

"Oh! Yeah, this reminds me of something!" She exclaimed as she moves a couple book stacks, "Auntie April came to visit! She's in college for journalism, and is pretty busy with the job she's doing for reference if she ever needs it. I heard some places are weird about having experience before you can start, which doesn't always make sense for some jobs."

She goes to craft and customize a couple items, she notices alot of questions about April coming in.

"Oh, Auntie April isn't related to the guys, she's been friends with them for like a decade or so. Basically she's unofficially adopted, and her parents have basically adopted us as well." River has her villager do a Joy reaction.

"Okay, I kinda got off track. The reason this reminded me of April visiting, was because she was telling me about this bookstore, or was it a library?, anyway she found it near her school. It was called 'The Banned Book Resting Place', it's a place were you can find all of these books that were banned from schools, libraries, and maybe some stores, and it has these labels that tell you why they were banned, when they were banned and in some cases who got it banned!" Her eyes are sparkling as she says this, very happy to be talking about this, her tail is wagging fast. "Not that banning books is a good thing, I just find the idea of this place amazing, plus they have a history section of when and why book banning started."

She takes a pause to move some furniture to see if it's to close to the cliff. Then continues with the info dump.

"Though there are some books in glass cases labeled 'Banned for a Good Reason' that were banned because they were mostly manifestos that were ment to manipulate the Reader. I won't go into to much detail, but those are just displays for educational purposes." She's swaying as she explains this. "I wish I could go there, but April says I might be taken by the tech club to try figuring out how my AI works. So no visit to the Banned Book place for me." She imitates a sighing motion, "Maybe one day I'll get to visit this place."

She turns to read chat. And seems to freeze up a bit.

"WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME IF MY AUNT IS HOT OR SINGLE!?!?!?" She tells as loud as she can. " SHE'S MY AUNT!! PLUS I THINK SHE'S DATING SOMEONE!!!!" River continues to yell because her volume got stuck out of shock. "DAD! I WANT TO TAKE A BREAK! AND I CAN'T LOWER MY VOICE PLEASE HELP!!!!!"

The stream is switched to the technical difficulties image, but Shelldon comes out to use the chat box as target practice to get back at those who freaked out his sister.

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Masterpost

The place mentioned is a fictional location I made up based on the idea of this place that sold books that were banned from schools and libraries.

I did try to search for a banned book store, and only found a small online business, and a book called The Banned Bookshop of Maggie Banks that looks interesting.