#i need to get a 9 next time
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not to be an annoying nob but ihave to boast about this im sorry .. i got a grade 9 for my english language exam 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
#if youre not english and dont know what a grade 9 transaltes to its the highest grade you can get in gcse#its not the result of my gcse eng langauge i havent done them yet just an exam in school 🙈#anyway 🙈🙈🙈#being so annoying but i barely revised i thought id done so shit#still dont wwant to do eng langauge for a level though sticking wiht lit#i cant believe i did better on langage than literature thats so weird#i got an 8#i need to get a 9 next time#my teacher said that if shed been able to read my handwriting better shed have given me a higher score but like i literally dont care#whats better than a 9?? >0<#i got 71/80 🙈#okay sorry ill shut up#i cant be annoying about this w my friends though theyll smack me ..
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#I just realized this is the FIFTH Mogtober!!! whaaaaat 😰😰😰#nevermoor#mogtober#prompt list and info will be posted on 9/19 as per usuallll#only 9 prompts this time. curated as much as one can do for what little we know about silverborn. lol.#but also you are free to do whatever and however more you want. it’s just a way to encourage people to make nevermoor fan content in Octobe#if you have any questions please try and get them in before the 19th so I know if there’s anything I should add to the info/faq!! 👍#it will be posted on here and Instagram and discord obvs. and prob reddit. no twitter bc even less fans on there than instagram lol#can I finally finish my eternal Hollowpox reread before the start? boy I hope lol#mogtober is the only thing that keeps me sane each year as we wait and wait for the next book. does anyone else feel me.#Mogtober 2020 (first one!) was October 2020… Hollowpox was October 2020… I need Silverborn NEOWWWWW
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"SHINE A LIGHT (REPRISE)"
THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
I scheduled this for the future lol.
Scheduled this on the 23/05/24 for the date in which this will come out
Because now it's decent but I still don't like it (but at least you guys won't be starved of my content for too long [not like it would be that big of a deal but if there was someone irl cheering me on for doing this and I said I'd do it I would give them something I did in the past but haven't yet showed them during a time in which I can't produce more of that content])
So anyway you guys, here you have "Shine A Light (Reprise)" in Italian!
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]
Stupidi tappi impossibili!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Oh guarda, Heather se ne va'a
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Fri-hignar tutta notte!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Non meriti di vivere!
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Perché non ucciderti?
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Eccoti un sedativo
[HEATHER & COMPANY:]
Fri-hi-higna!
[HEATHER DUKE:] *
Perché Babbo Natale non c'è (uee-uee)
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Sei patetica perché frigni!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Frigni tutta notte!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
(Frigna) Dalla squadra te ne devi andare
(Frigna) Lamentati e piagnucola
(Frigna) Non meriti di sognare
(Frigna) Tu morirai da sola!
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Muori sola!
Muori sola!
Muori sola!
MUORI SOLA!
So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices [and in one case this])
[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]
Stupid impossible (implied to open) caps!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Aww look, Heather's going to
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Whi-hine all night!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
You don't deserve to live!
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Why not kill yourself!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Here's to you a sedative
[HEATHER & COMPANY:]
Whi-hi-hine!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Because there's no Santa Claus (uee-uee [in this case we're using this parenthesis for the explanations: so, uee-uee are the letters used to mimick crying in Italian, I don't remember the name of the poetic thing now, I think onomathopea? I'm unsure if it's even written right])
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
You're pathetic because you whine!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
You whine all night!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
(Whine) Go awayfrom the team
(Whine) Whine (but as in moan about it) and whine (but as in cry but mockingly)
(Whine) You don't deserve to dream
(Whine) You're gonna die alone
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Die alone!
Die alone!
Die alone!
DIE ALONE!
OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]
Stupid child proof caps!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Aww look, Heather's going to
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Whine, whine, whine all night!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
You don't deserve to live!
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Why not kill yourself!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Here have a sedative
[HEATHER & COMPANY:]
Whine, whine, whine!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
Like there's no Santa Claus (boo-hoo)
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
You're pathetic because you whine!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
You whine all night!
[HEATHER DUKE:]
(Whine) Your ass is off the team
(Whine) Go on and bitch and moan
(Whine) You don't deserve to dream
(Whine) You're gonna die alone
[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:]
Die alone!
Die alone!
Die alone!
DIE ALONE!
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#heather mcnamara#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#italian heathers i'm just going to keep on bothering you with this at this point#heathers fans rejoice for i am not dead and can still provide you with this from the past#if i ever were to die you would stop seeing reblogs for two or more months without any warning and then you'd know something happened to me#which is why if i ever quit i'll be like “bye bye guys was fun knowing you!”#but i haven't quit just yet i am just busy rn#also please enjoy this#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#shine a light reprise#guys why is that not a popular tag?#also when you see this i'll have been freed by the business of the week for around an hour but will probably need time before anything more#next one's scheduled to come out at 9:40 (hour in France) the 1st of June guys#and y'all won't guess what it is#you know what on the 1/6/24 you'll get two as a treat because i've been neglecting this because of school (you'll get the first at 7am tho)#this and the two 1/6/24 adaptations have been scheduled to get published and not have me forget publishing them
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Trying on the cosplays imma wear to a con in a month and getting excited that ill be cosplaying said characters in a month
#prince's talk tag#yo its gonna be so fun!!#im doing h/omura‚ p/ers/ona3 protag and my boy rui in that order#h/omura was supposed to be a duo with my friend (they were to cosplay her gf)#but theres a s/tar r/ail meetup that same day and there wasnt one last year and they wanted to go so they're gonna do that instead#and the other two days i have cosplay meetups i wanna do so there went that#but its ok i know my friend really wanted a meetup last year so im happy theyre getting one this year#imma show up to the p/r/s/k one again and give out extras I get from buying the cd singles bc i dont need all these#plus i wont just be in his school uniform i bought his new troupe outfit so ill be in that!!#and for the protag i got his new battle uniform from the remake so thatll be fun!!#i brought an evoker prop but i need to find like orange tape to put around the muzzle so they know its fake and it cant shoot#the picture showed it with it on so i thought it would come with it but nope!#gotta hope security will be find with the tape on it#like it literally can't shoot the trigger doesn't move its just meant to be posed with#we'll see i guess#i was looking at the panels and i saw some that interest me but ill doubt ill go to bc knowing me ill spend my time in artist alley#but there was one i was really interested in but its at the same time as one of the meetups so i have to forgo it OTL#its a manga industry panel. i went to one at a different con like 9 years ago and i learned a lot about how they publish and print manga#so i kinda wanted to see how other companies do it if theres a difference#tho there is a manga lettering panel the next day and that doesnt interfere with anything so maybe ill do that one if anything#bc i have a love-hate relationship with type#man i can't wait for next month!!
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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#two mimir#tandemaus#pokemon#pokemon sv#pokemon gen 9#sorry bintendo i pirated this game but i wouldve bought it if i knew it was such a good game at the end#that ending was actually so good id put it as my favourite pokemon game#and the music holy fuck my ears were blessed#okok next time I will buy the new game#shit made me crave sandwiches so bad then i made my own bread and got sick of sandwiches after 2 weeks#now im getting tired of caesar salad#i need more recipes for work#i promised myself i would never buy another drink at gongchass after they fired me but then they released some cute ass 3d keychains#I'll just get my bf to do it#i wanna play the next gow#please let me refund aitsf 2 i dont feel. like playing it but steam wont let me#idk why I'm too lazy to play it even tho the games expensive ash#need more multiplayerr games to play with friends#terraria got boring after 2 days#zomboid is good#plate up got boring after a week#where is my motivation to play apex#raft is dead#devour need more maps#no im not going to play LOL or AOE#i wish i celebrated christmas#if I could experience something again it would b my childhood xmas spirit and mythical-y energy#i feel like ill always be mentally stuck at 17#how bout i physically go back to 17 too i dont want to start paying my fuel#shit goes down so fast
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I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!
#FUCK OFF RUSSELL#write a good show or go home christ alive#it’s just nostalgia glasses. we could get an episode where all 10 does is sit in a daybed and list the symptoms of shingles#and a lot of people on this website would be falling over themselves to try say that yeah it’s not good! it’s not well written! but it’s fun#and obviously that’s all doctor who needs to be. fun! not good or interesting or well written or good scifi but fun. just mediocre mush fun.#im sorry that you love dave 10nant so much (name censor bc tbf this ain’t his fault he’s just here)#that you cannot handle admitting that RTD is bad at his job now or that bringing 10 back as 14 was a shit idea#and that plotline was boring and kinda dumb#but it’s true. it’s gone downhill. RTD does not know what this show is anymore#and I frankly think he’s gone from a fanboy being able to write his dw dreams and make them episodes#from a man who views this show as his little pet project that sprung him into success#the best episodes are written by people who love this show. adore it. think of it as something big and grand#and are so thrilled that they get to add part of themselves to it with their stories and words#it’s why he used to be good. and now he doesn’t really care anymore and it shows.#it’s why my favourite doctor is my favourite doctor (and probably why people adore 9 + 10)#because you can feel the love exuding from every performance. it’s a childhood dream. there’s not time to waste a second of it.#sorry but this season was bad and the overarching story was bad#and the Christmas special is going to be bad. because it hinges on the idea we’re going to ‘find out more next time!’#shut up and tell me now. or at least in the season. ‘ooh ruby’s snow power will be explained next season’ NO! EXPLAIN IT NOW#doctor who#dw#dw negativity#rtd2 era#rtd2#rtd
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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i need to make more friends who i can drag out to karaoke nights with me lmao
#i wanna go out for karaoke tonight but i feel weird about going alone bc i haven't been to my monday night place in like over a month#it's the one the guy i kinda like hosts lol#it's a cool vibe but i haven't been going bc it's soooo far away and i always have to uber home bc otherwise it takes 2 hours to get home#i wanna go again but i don't know anyone else really and i don't just wanna sit there alone. i need people to get hyped with#i wish my new bestie who i met through karaoke was here but she goes to med school upstate and only comes down on weekends 😔#she'll be here this weekend and said she might stay until tuesday..... perhaps next monday#but i also wanna go tonight tho bc i can stay late if i want. next week i will Have A Job and will have to leave early-ish#eye dee kay. we'll see what i decide lol#if i end up going i don't have to leave until 8. or later. it starts at 9-ish but goes until 2 or 3 usually so i have time to think#if any of my nyc area mutuals wanna go out for karaoke in bushwick tonight hit me up lol#m.txt
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traitor to the cause forgets national holiday every year KILL HIM
#just realized i wrote may instead of marsh lmao. fuck it#trans day of visibility#trans day of eating food#tdov#tdov 2024#transgender day of visibility#trans#transgender#lgbt#gay#my art#another year eh#still in pretransition purgatory (get me tf out!!!)#idk man past year's been bad. last time i showered was july i'm goin 9 months strong 9 months weak 9 months decrepit#i manage to go through the motions with not much else in the way of progress. eat sleap shit piss rinse reuse recycle#trans day of eating food is shaky too this year. just found out yesterday i can't eat a snack anymore that i've liked since i was a kid#discovered a new love for green beans though. everything in balance#with my living situation getting more unsafe i've been thinking a lot about asking my neighbor if i can stay with him and his family#cause i don't like... see people other than them anymore so i don't know anyone else i can ask lol#and maybe i can get my shit together and start transitioning if i get out..... it's the least i need to do anyways#at least i gotta ask if he would be willing to oversee my funeral in the event of it cause i do nnnnot trust my next of kin with that shit#go watch youtube “Protecting Trans Bodies in Death” by Caitlin Doughty. contains important info for anyone really but#especially so for the titular transengendered individual#write your will... OK?#it doesn't have to be a bummer do it with a friend make it a girls night boys night hotties sleepover#death mention cw#wish i had more to say on the topic this year that wasn't a downer. i'll see what the next year holds#and hey... if a guy like me isn't giving up a motherfucker like you sure as hell shouldn't... adios & bon voyage my compatriots. SALUTE
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so maestro told me tonight at the end of rehearsal that he "got an email about me", turns out it was the org that's interviewing me next week for their summer job reaching out to him as a reference. and then when that was figured out maestro proceeded to spend the next, like, twenty minutes standing there writing out a recommendation for me on his phone at 10 pm while i'm Sitting Right There, just trying to get the assignment notes to send to the orchestra,
#living in a Comedy over here#he kept occasionally asking me questions too like 'how long have i known you? ten years?' (it's 8 or 9 at this point)#and 'do they know about your honors and high grades' ('i mean they have my resume so i guess so' 'i will mention it anyway'#lmao thanks maestro)#once again it's very sweet the lengths he goes to help me succeed professionally#i don't know if i. needed to or should have been Right There while he recommended me...#but there it is i suppose. one glowing recommendation ahead of my interview next week#although since this is the first time he's mentioned getting contacted like this i think this means the other internships i applied to#a month/month and a half ago just...never bothered to reach out and overlooked me as a candidate. sigh#oh well...i got one (1) response this week for one (1) job opportunity#(and it was the one i applied to kind of late out of. waning hope that the others were still a possibility..)#so. hoping i don't fuck up next week during my interview and hoping i don't have some crazy competition or something#bc damn i really want and need this internship......please......#i wanna talk about me
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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family
#fucking hell#it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister#who was equally dreading the day#my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt#then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high#weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence#i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum#who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf#but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed#they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes#finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously#(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room#and made things appear that should not be there#I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go#you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear#I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well#she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer#maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important
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[ID: a drawing of a computer popup style notifications titled "SAC BOOK" with a loading bar like 80-90% done with the description "book kickstarter preperation in progress!". below is is a traditionally drawn sketch that has been scanned and shaded digitally, of the artist holding a clipboard titled "burnout avoidance strategy" and staring at it with their tongue out. next to them is the words "we'll be right back!" end id]
okay so little better rested currently so brief update! so realised that there is still a fair bit that needs doing but making regular comic updates does take up about half or more of the time i have to work on art stuff, so i've made the decision to swap around kickstarter preperation and comic updates on my priority list!
unfortunatly the struggles of making comics while having a day job means that trying to do both will just make me burnt out and make both projects half assed so i'm pausing the regular comic updates to put my focus on preparing to print the comic. can't burn the candle at both ends, you'll just burn yourself and get wax all over the carpet
current (self imposed) timeline estimate: work on (and hopefully finish) preperations in july, have the kickstarter be live in time for august (so i can advertise it in the 3 conventions i have that month), resume comic updates in august also (hopefully. again, 3 conventions. will let you all know how it turns out) and print everything in september!
#sac#someone always cares#for real though i did very much get more done the past week without also needing to do the comic update#both in comic prep but also irl needing to do other activities to not get burnt out#went to an aro & ace meetup on sat and turns out talking to other people outside of work is good for your mental health!#even played a video game for the first time in 9 months (slay the princess)#havent gotten all the endings and stuff yet but saving the rest for a day where my hand hurts too much to continue drawing#also unrelated but vis a vis art book i was thinking maybe that's something to wait for the next volume print because as it is#there are too many spoilers. but nothings set in stone yet however
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i miss giffing and i want to gif so bad but i always come home exhausted from work and i pass out as soon as i have dinner and then i have to get up at 9 am the next day and repeat 😔
#liliana talks#fucking capitalism i hate having to work to have things and live at the cost of sacrificing my free time to do things i like#and i work at the afternoon shift from 1-8:30 pm and have to get up at 9 am to get everything ready and eat breakfast and stuff#come home at around 8:40 pm. get changed and have dinner and pass out until the next day and then rinse and repeat#i have two days off and on the first i have to clean the apartment and do laundry and buy groceries if i need something#and on the second day off i just want to sleep and do nothing#so either i don't have the time or the energy 🙁
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NOOO, I forgot to cancel my free pixiv premium membership auahanajljjjk I don’t want to be charged 30 bucks for this orz…
#whenever I try to go cancel it it just leads me to other plans to try#I was supposed to have canceled it yesterday but forgot…#rambling#I think it’s a one time payment and they somehow had me locked in on the 12 month plan bro#i believe it is a onetime payment at the end of next year but man I need all of the little dollars I can get#I was only using premium so that I could go back and edit some art that I found a bit wonky… man#my 9/11 is having money taken away from me especially when I don’t have much…
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mini life update in the tags bc i need somewhere 2 rant < 3
#u can ignore but!#in the process of secretly prepping to cut my mum off bc shes got total financial control over me (im 26)#i got a lot of money when i was 18 from an accident n shes basically in control of my assets bc she made it that wah#*way#if that makes sense#like i can only access my money if i go to the bank with her. she lives in a house i boyght her free of charge#sje bullied me into biying another house in wales so she can rent it out as a holidah home n use it as a free holiday spot n said i would#get an income from it but shes given me nothing in the 4/5 yrs weve had it#she put her name on the deeds to all my assets#so i have money but it is inaccessible#i need some bc i need to fund my phd next year but sje wont help me#anyways! thats lowkey besides the point#my dads got a brain tumor n my mum doesnt know i still see my dad bc she thinks i havent spoke to him since je left like 3 yrs ago#but i helped hjm leave bc she was abusing him n had been since i was like 9#n now im stressed out bc my dads not well and i feel like um running out of time with him#but hes in the hospital at the minute after having a siezure a few weeks after his brain surgery#so ive visited him like 3 days in a row n he remarried this year and my stepmum/sisters are so nice#its like having a real family#and it makes me feel guilty yo say that abt my mum n sister#like the guilt of havi g a bad parent is so real tonight fellas im just gonna sit n cry for a few dags#tbd.#if u read this far i love u .. whats hr zodiac#but yeah! this is why im so inactive#n bc im doi g my masters degree but . that pales in comparison rn
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