#i need to have something to show for my passions before my parents die

[flamboyant-king]

Happy New Years!

I hope to show up more often on here with art to share!

Maybe just posting dumb stuff, but I also hope to see y’all more often too. 

\(^o^) Cheers!

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Reassuring Messages From The Universe

Hi everyone! I have a feeling some people may need a pick-me-up at the moment hence why I made this reading. I think this may be my longest reading so far! There will be signs listed before to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. At the end, each pile will also have a quote and channelled song to listen to that resonates with your reading. The specific lyrics that I heard are listed below the title. :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.

Pile 1

Signs:

You may be a Lana Del Rey fan, or at least have one of her songs be your one of your favourite songs

You may be really creative. Specifically, I see most of you here are artists because I just saw an image of someone’s hand covered in paint like a make-shift palette to find the right colour, or someone wiping away excess paint on their skin

You may be left-handed. To be honest, this kind of relates back to the art thing because I just heard someone swearing because their pencil sketches were smudged by their hand again lol

You are a ride-or-die friend. I’m not picking up any signs that the people who picked this pile could be ‘low maintenance friends’ because all I could feel was a loyal and passionate heart, particularly towards their friends

Okay this is an odd message but some of you here are DEHYDRATED, like you’re not even thirsty anymore this is beyond that. Please drink some water if you haven’t at all today

Back to music here, but do some of you spend hours making playlists? I just saw someone using a lot of their free time to curate playlists. I even saw some of you here like making playlists for specific people

Another weird message here but I just smelled crayons, so I’m interpreting this in a few different ways: you may be connected to your inner child, or you may work with children/have plans to work with children, or you would like to be a parent/are a parent

Your Cards: The Emperor, Knight of Cups rx, Page of Wands rx, Justice rx, The Star, 10 of Pentacles

Your Reading:

Okay, the first thing I heard while looking at these cards were the words, “Lost time” and I think that sums up half of your reading quite well.

The cards show that at the beginning of this particular situation, you felt like you were fully in your power. A very Mars-dominant energy to be in, or an Aries energy to be in wherein you felt like you could take on anything. It’s like this was a time when your confidence was at an all-time high about yourself, but also about something. For most of you, this ‘something’ was a project. For some of you, this could be a relationship. The point is, this was something in your life you felt was given to you like you’ve waited for this and finally you’ve got it, but that hope didn’t last.

As we moved on, I felt heavy feelings of frustration. Like you were ready to spring into action but something or someone else was telling you to wait, like they were stringing you along. At the back of your mind, you knew you were being taken advantage of, but you decided to stick with it anyway. I just heard, “It’s worth it.” So maybe this was something you wanted for so long that you felt like you had to stick to it because you couldn’t see how another opportunity could be better than this. I’m really sensing this was a career move for some of you here. Maybe some of you were promised a promotion but you didn’t get it. Maybe some of you were given false hope by a higher-up that this project idea of yours would be taken seriously, but you just had to wait for the right time.

And these people kept giving you excuses. If this were a relationship, I could sense that maybe this was someone who you thought would be ready to fully commit to a relationship, but they never ended up being mature enough to make that decision. It could even be a platonic relationship, and this person wanted you and them to be more casual friends, but you were ready to be a ride-or-die as I’ve stated in the signs above. The overwhelming feeling here is that you got the shorter end of the stick.

But, of course, this doesn’t last. The universe is trying to tell you that if you were broken down before and were able to build yourself back up again, then you can do that now. For most of you, I feel you’ve already left this situation and are worried that this was a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have left in the first place, but the cards are saying otherwise.

Your hope was burned out because of what you’ve gone through. You’ve sacrificed your hope and your sense of self, but the next chapter of your life won’t ask you to do that anymore. If anything, this new chapter will nurture all of those traits you have always felt were intrinsically part of who you are.

If this were a relationship, you’d probably take a break from dating for a while, but your friendships will be a cornucopia of love and support, with new and old friends alike. If this was a job or project, a new opportunity will not only cause success, but stable success. The universe is giving you the new direction you need. “One door closes so the other one opens.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Your Channelled Song: Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey and Father John Misty

“Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed”

“Put the TV on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head”

“Ooh, let the light in

At your back door yelling 'cause I wanna come in

Ooh, turn your light on

Look at us, you and me back at it again”

Pile 2

Signs:

You may be a blunt and direct person, and you may have even gotten in trouble for this in the past. Really, I could sense you’re just a BS detector. I also saw someone rolling their eyes and saying “C’mon, talk to me straight I’ve got things to do!” haha!

I just heard ‘homebody’, so I feel like plenty of introverts have picked this pile!

You may be the sarcastic, unintentionally funny friend. If you know you know. But to specify I saw someone in a group setting saying something like “I hate half of the people in this room/I didn’t want to go—I got dragged here by my friends, please don’t talk to me” and someone laughing because they didn’t think you were serious (You were)

You’ve got a dry/witty sense of humour when you do try to make a joke intentionally, but either no one gets it, or it may be a touch too dark for their taste (Nothing problematic though!)

I got tempted to swear so many times writing out these signs so you may swear a lot. Like sometimes, if you’re in a professional environment you may find it difficult to filter out your words because of how automatic it is for you

I also feel like you’re really articulate. The first word I actually thought to describe your humour was ‘sardonic’ and I wasn’t even sure what that word meant so I can guarantee you that did not come from my mind (Yes, I had to Google the meaning)

For astrological signs, you may have Scorpio and/or Virgo in your chart. Possibly a stellium. With how active your mind is coming through in this reading and how much communication is highlighted in this section, I would not be surprised if your dominant planet is Mercury, or if you have many aspects involving that planet in your chart

Your Cards: The Hermit rx, 2 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 2 of Swords rx, King of Wands

Your Reading: Pile 2, please don’t get mad, but when I opened up to your energy, I was expecting a different message than what I delivered right now. I was ready to get serious, to go into deep waters and dive face first. But when I saw the cards… I may or may not have audibly giggled.

Not in a bad way! Hear me out before you scroll, I promise I’m saying this with the same fondness as a best friend, but pile 2, I know you’ve been in hermit mode for a while and are very comfortable staying there, but the universe isn’t really going to let that slide. For most of you, I could see you not wanting to go out but being pushed to do so by a friend. For some of you, you’ve even been convinced by some of your close friends to go on blind dates or new places to meet people in general, and you go but you really don’t want to.

The message here is clear: You’re going to meet someone new. For most of you, this will be a romantic partnership. For my aromantic folks or my readers who are simply not at all interested in romance, this will be a platonic relationship. Whatever this is, I could specifically see one person here coming out of nowhere and earnestly offering you love or friendship with respectful persistence, you wouldn’t even know what to do with them at first. I think a lot of you here have closed yourself off, not to your pre-existing close relationships, but to new people. This person is going to test that wall you’ve built around yourself and despite how much you try to intimidate them, they are not going away. Think of someone with ‘golden retriever’ vibes, which is funny because as I was tapping into your energy I got ‘black cat’ vibes from you. (I just heard, “The Arthur to my Merlin” and “The Gwen to my Morgana” whether platonically or romantically doesn’t matter, but wow, do I have some Merlin fans/old Merlin viewers in this pile)

In all seriousness though, I don’t think you have this boundary up for no reason. I’m seeing a very specific message of someone in the past that you used to trust no longer being in your life because they’ve done you wrong. This could possibly even be a betrayal of trust? Like you told them a secret, but they shared it with one person, and it quickly spread through word-of-mouth. The severing of that relationship was as fast as the betrayal done by the other person.

This made you more guarded towards newer people in your life. But also, I could see this even had a domino effect making you wary of new experiences and environments too because you’re scared you’ll meet a new person that way.  The universe is saying this past relationship has clouded your judgment and will cloud your judgment when you meet this new person. What you don’t realise is that this person could actually be good for you if you take a chance. Some of you may be worried about co-dependency. The universe is actually saying that a relationship like this will actually make you more independent, and this is because this person is emotionally mature enough to actually commit. They’ll give, you’ll take. You’ll give, they’ll take. It feels like two people who genuinely see each other as equals, and therefore respect each other as such. Their commitment and genuine belief in you will make you a more confident person in the future, but more importantly, you’ll be bolder in your choices in life. You’ll grow to have a brave heart that other people will appreciate in you, and that you’ll appreciate in yourself. “Fortune favours the bold.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Channelled Song: King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men

“We won’t run, and we won’t run, and we won’t run”

“I’ll be here to hold your hand”

“'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart”

Pile 3

Signs:

Your sun sign may be an earth sign or an air sign. I also feel like some people who picked this pile may be a Leo rising or have a Leo Midheaven, but more on the Leo rising actually

I feel like some of you here may have curly hair

You may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community

You prefer winter palettes over lighter and pastel colours for your clothes. I’m not getting a specific style but the colours here are striking. Either an all-black outfit but with the same shade of black making you appear more put together, or someone wearing jewel-toned colours like emerald green or a very striking purple

You may like wearing statement pieces. I saw this image of you in someone else’s point of view, admiring a watch you always wear or commenting on how they know you’ve just been in the room because they smelled your perfume. Picture this, someone walks into an office and just says, “Was pile 3 here—actually, you don’t need to answer that I know they were here.” And the other person who doesn’t know you getting really confused so they clarify by saying, “Oh, I know they were here because they’re the only one in this building that wears (insert fragrance here)”

Some of you here may have a ritual of listening to music in the morning while you’re getting ready to hype yourself up. All genres are coming up right now, (No, seriously. It went from Gangsta’s Paradise to successful by Ariana Grande songs to It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)) but what unifies these songs together is that it’s there to put you in a good mood in the morning

You may be interested in working for yourself by either starting a new business or working your way to the top. Highly ambitious energy coming from this pile, but in all the best ways possible; it makes your energy infectious. Yes. That word specifically. Just a really great energy to be around

Your Cards: 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, High Priestess, The Star (clarified by 3 of Cups)

Your Reading:

Okay, I want to preface this reading by saying that this pile feels similar to pile 1. You may not have had the same circumstances, but the arc is similar, so if you are attracted to pile 1, feel free to read it as a supplementary reading after this.

There’s a very clear energy here that you may have had a falling out with people in your life. This could be a group of co-workers, friends, or even family members. There was chaos surrounding your previous situation and you felt like people were constantly at each other’s throats. If it was not as aggressive as this, it is possible that at the very least you were in an environment you did not feel safe. I think these people showed their true colours, so to speak, and it made you realise how you shouldn’t have trusted certain individuals involved. The thing is though, I can feel you being an outsider in this situation. Like from the start of all of this, you made it clear to everyone you did not want to get involved. I literally just heard, “Get over yourself.” from this pile, so maybe some of you here may even feel that people were blowing up a whole pile of nothing, and/or that they all needed to act more maturely about the situation. I also feel like one person may have taken something personally when they shouldn’t and that could’ve made you particularly frustrated because you felt this person missed the point completely.

I could see that you tried providing counsel to try to smooth things out, but no one listened. This was your last straw. You left or will leave this situation and the universe applauds you for doing so. I think a lot of people in this situation had a victim complex. This is not a judgment on them, it’s simply a message that they have a lot of unhealed wounds they need to work on. You didn’t stand by this though, and this led to you making your boundaries clear and cutting yourself off completely. For some of you, this may be a temporary situation (I heard, “Fix this or don’t bother coming back.”) but for most of you, this may be a temporary step away from these people.

The universe saw that you trusted your gut and left and are rewarding you as such. I think you have a logical mind and are not used to making decisions intuitively, but this all happened because you did what felt right, and this show of trust is going to lead to positive effects.

For the people who picked this pile, I’m getting a strong message that your intuition is a muscle, and that’s true for most people but it’s especially true for yourself. I think you’ll be asked to make more quick decisions in the next phase of your life, Some decisions have larger consequences than others, but most will be small and trivial decisions such as, “Which café should I visit today?”. Before you might’ve picked the familiar or logical option, but now you’re allowing more spontaneity in your life, and this may even surprise you a little bit. I just heard one of your friends saying, “But you always go there!” and seeing you shrug before saying, “Well, I’m in the mood to try something new.”

This will reward you with a new sense of self. The 3 of cups traditionally has a more social meaning, like friends who see each other as equals coming together to celebrate, but for you, I could see this as different sides of yourself finally living in harmony with one another. With all of that stress gone, you’ll finally have the chance to recognise how deeply complex and interesting you are, and you’ll do so with an acceptance you may have not known you needed. “To know myself is to love myself.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Channelled Song: “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” by Tame Impala

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"”

“Two sides of me can't agree”

“Feel like a brand new person… I don’t care I’m in love”

[lumosinlove]

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Four: Sirius

Safehouse Somewhere in Athens

Athens, Greece

No one could know, but Sirius was fairly certain he was going insane. He dreamed of Remus. He glimpsed him in dark, dreamscape spaces and then in London. All of their familiar spots. But he was always turning a corner, or walking in front of Sirius who couldn’t seem to reach forward. His name always stuck in Sirius’ throat.

The dark safe house ceiling was no comfort when Sirius jolted himself away for the hundredth time.

“Do you ever wonder…” Remus had begun that sentence more than a year ago, and Sirius still believed that he wouldn’t have been able to guess what he was about to say.

They had been in London, at George’s, on their second beers and making their way through their chip wrappings. Some happy Irish song was bouncing around the shop, but Remus’ expression had been solemn. He’d chewed slowly, staring out the steamed up window. The fog made his brown eyes look like milk poured into coffee.

“What?” Sirius had prompted, knocking the necks of their bottles together.

He remembered being thrilled to have Remus all to himself this late into the night. He didn’t live near Sirius, but near his parents and his little brother, Julian. Sirius didn’t like thinking of them. He’d tried to look in a few times, but seeing ten-year-old Julian’s face had been nearly as horrible as watching Remus get dragged away. It’s my fault, he’d wanted to say. He’d wanted to beg for Julian’s forgiveness and also tell him that he didn’t deserve it, all at the same time.

“George,” Remus had called. “Can you turn this one up?”

The song was already loud, but George shrugged and dialed it up three more notches. Sirius’ neck prickled. He was worried about listening bugs.

Remus had looked around George’s fish shop before leaning a little closer. Freckles, Sirius always thought. Freckles like stars. “Do you ever wonder about them?”

Them. It was the word for Salazar.

“Wonder,” Sirius had repeated. “What do you mean?”

Remus pressed his lips together.

“Re.” Sirius shook his head. “Talk to me—”

Remus’ phone had started to ring. Sirius had caught a quick glimpse of the name before Remus had excused himself to take it outside.

Pascal.

The memory faded when James, laying beside him, reached over at patted his shoulder comfortingly.

Sirius sighed. “How did you know I was awake?”

“You breathe differently.”

“You’re just used to watching Harry sleep.”

“Maybe,” James said. “Maybe you need a little bit of babying, too, to make up for lost time.”

Sirius snorted. James knew about his parents. Cold, passionate people with their ideas in all the wrong places.

“Leo’s on watch?” Sirius asked.

“Yep. Think we can teach Finn a few tricks so we can all get more sleep?”

“Not a chance.”

James laughed softly. His phone briefly lit up the darkness as he checked the time and then groaned. “You’re right, but damn. We should be asleep while we can. You change over at dawn.”

“Honestly, I think I’ll be glad for the distraction.”

“What, you’re own head getting to you? You? Wow, I never would have guessed that.”

Sirius reached out blindly and whacked him in the chest. James hit him back, but they settled again. He tried to match his breathing to James to see if he’d noticed and received another pat.

“It’s something with their memory.” Sirius had to force the words out.

“Yeah.” James swallowed audibly in the dark. “I think so.”

“I don’t…” Sirius shook his head. “They’re killed—we saw them die, and then they show up and—”

Did Remus not know him? Sirius felt sick thinking of it. He tried to put himself in Finn’s shoes, who he’d left curled on his side with all of his clothes on, staring at the brick wall through his bedroom window. If they found Remus—or, like Logan, let Remus find them, would Remus not recognize him? Did he even know his own name?

“We saw them shot,” James said. “We never…We assumed they were dead. Their trackers went offline, we thought their bodies got thrown over—”

“What if whoever took them disabled the trackers?”

“We need to know for sure who we were dealing with six months ago at Sounion,” James said. “Black market and weapon dealing isn’t enough. We need names.”

Sirius could see the three faces they’d managed to track. The woman, and the two men—brothers, most likely.

“Why did Salazar call off the mission after we lost Lo and Re?” James hit the mattress with a harsh palm. “That’s what I can’t fucking wrap my head around. Why not get those fuckers?”

Do you ever wonder about them?

Sirius didn’t know how to say it to James. Had Remus meant Salazar? He’d refused to speak about it after the fact. But now Salazar wanted Remus shot on sight. He thought of whose safe house they were in, and whether it was really safe at all.

“I never asked before,” James continued. “Because I didn’t think it was any of my business…” Sirius knew what was coming when James turned towards him in the dark. “But did—”

“No,” Sirius said to the dark ceiling.

“You didn’t even hear my question” James asked.

Sirius reached out and grabbed James’ wrist, tapping twice on its inside. Their own code. Someone might be listening. He made something up and knew James would go along. “He wins enough money off me, he kills at poker.”

“That he does,” James replied without a beat, but he was tensed beside him. A moment later, he was pushing himself up. Dawn was beginning to make a faint orange line across the bedroom war, coming in through the kitchen.

“C’mon,” James said. “They’ll be setting up the markets. Leo’s on watch. Let’s bring him coffee and wake up our little passenger and go over that phone call radius.”

Sirius looked up at him in the dim light. “Logan always did like leaving at dawn.”

He was reluctant to rouse Finn. The room was freezing. They would have to do something about that. Finn’s suitcase was open on the floor and clothes half spilled out. There was no room for any sort of dresser—or maybe just no care for it. No one stayed long enough, perhaps.

“I’ll do it.”

Sirius turned to find Leo standing behind him. He looked tired, and cold. He was holding a cup of the coffee that James had made—way too strong.

Leo rolled his eyes a little at Sirius’ expression, then shouldered past him. “He’s stronger than he looks.”

“Really?” Sirius said. “I’d be a mess.”

He already was a mess. It had the intended effect, making Leo pause to look at him before settling on the edge of Finn’s bed.

“Finn,” Leo said gently. “Are you awake?”

“Are you awake?”

Sirius drew in a slow breath before opening his eyes. If anyone had told him, upon entering the academy, that his roommate would be a fucking talkative insomniac, he wasn’t sure what he would have done.

“I am now.”

Remus Lupin’s silhouette pushed up from his cot across the small room. “Are you hungry?”

Sirius could still see him there, half-silhouette and half moonlight. He hadn’t known that he would be entranced, for a long time, by how handsome he thought Remus Lupin was. He’d thought that from the very beginning.

“Sure. I’m hungry.”

Sirius went back into the kitchen. He didn’t want to watch this part. He didn’t want to watch Finn wake up and remember.

James looked at him. He was in his own dark, sleek winter jacket, had a black beanie pulled low, and his contacts in. He cupped his mug close to his chin and watched Sirius add milk to his own—how Remus took it. Sirius looked back at him once he was holding his own mug, too.

James’ single arched brow said all he needed to. Of course Salazar is listening. He darted his eyes around the room. This is their safe house.

Sirius nodded, but he didn’t know how to communicate, Remus was worried about something and I didn’t realize it soon enough in just one glance. He didn’t even know how to say it to himself. Salazar had been a part of their lives for the last decade. They’d got through training together, him, Remus, and James. And then had come Logan and Finn, two years later, and then, finally, Leo. Malfoy and the other higher-ups were old-fashioned and crude, but the work they did was important. Necessary. They were protectors.

James just sighed and took a sip of his coffee. “I miss her grilled cheese.” Lily. He wouldn’t give anyone else who might be listening a name. Just like how, for Logan, Finn was always Red, or Rouge.

What would Sirius have called Remus, if he were a civilian? If he weren’t always at his side. If they weren’t always in danger together. Would that have been better? Remus waiting at home for him? Sirius, waiting at home for Remus? He didn’t think so. He preferred Remus in his sightline. He preferred the option of diving in front of a bullet for him. Only distance prevented him from protecting Remus.

He should never have let Remus go down those cliffs without him.

James cleared his throat to get his attention. He had written something down on a napkin. In his scratchy handwriting,

TELL ME.

Sirius didn’t know what he was going to say, but he looked over his shoulder where he could hear Finn and Leo’s soft voices. He wrote quickly:

R X TRUST S?

James read the words and his reaction fell over his face. He flicked his eyes up to Sirius. Didn’t trust Salazar? Honestly?

Sirius shook his head.

Why?

Sirius shrugged and shook his head again. He’d never gotten Remus to say.

Leo was about to come down the hallway, Finn on his heels. “Are we ready?” Leo called.

James was still frowning, hazel eyes worried, as he stuffed the napkin in his remaining coffee to bleed the ink away.

“We’re ready,” James said, though Sirius didn’t feel it.

[nothorses]

So have you ever like. Talked to people that were homeschooled? Or did you just read one story online about a cult homeschooling their kids and went "fuck this is awful public school is so much better"?

I was homeschooled until 5th grade and then sent to public school. I lasted until 7th grade before I had to fucking beg my parents to homeschool me again. I was literally waking up for school in the mornings and immediately having a mental breakdown. I was constantly trying to fake being sick so I didn't have to go.

Homeschooling was SO much fucking better. I didn't have to sleep in jeans and a bra and t-shirt so that I was already dressed when I woke up, just so I had time to eat a small bowl of cereal before being forced to leave.

I didn't have to worry about classmates making fun of me behind my back, or my "friends" insulting me or going out of their way to embarass me in front of my crushes.

I didn't have to worry about having a cold or the flu or my period and being forced to go to school and be miserable all day covered in blood and snot.

I didn't have to worry about being given lunch detention because I forgot one book (probably because I have memory issues from severe ADHD)

I didn't have to worry about being overwhelmed with homework. I didn't have to worry about my teachers or classmates making me feel like a fucking idiot because I couldn't do math (wow turns out I have a severe learning disability that somehow no one noticed).

I didn't have to worry about being forced to run the pacer test in gym and not being allowed to rest, resulting in me throwing up.

You can't tell people "omg just because YOU had a bad time in school doesn't mean you're allowed to dislike it!!! Not all public school is bad!"

and then turn around and go "Homeschooling is awful it's just a bunch of religious bigot cultists teaching their children how to be bigots and children never getting to go out and socialize with their peers!!!"

All I learned from public school was:

Keep my fucking mouth shut, do not speak unless spoken to

Don't do anything "weird" or "different" (AKA show signs of having autism)

If you don't stay in school and go to college (AKA put yourself in thousands of dollars of debt in exchange for a piece of paper that doesn't actually guarantee you a job) then you'll die in a ditch somewhere

Don't even bother trying to make friends, they'll just treat you like shit

I was never taught anything useful that I couldn't have just learned by myself at home. I was never taught how to pay bills or what a mortgage is or how to grow my own food or raise my own animals for meat or how credit cards work or how to take care of myself after my parents die.

Public school is there to terrorize children and destroy them mentally until they conform to what society wants, so that they become the perfect unquestioning unthinking cogs in the machine that will work until they die.

It's there to make money for colleges because kids are never taught about trade jobs or making their own businesses/companies, they're taught that college is the be all end all and if you don't go there (and give them your time and money) then you'll become homeless and die.

It doesn't teach you how to think for yourself, it teaches you to shut the fuck up and obey or be punished.

I'm sorry you had that experience with public school, genuinely- and I know you aren't the only one, and this is honestly something I feel really passionate about. Like, actually; a big motivator for getting my Master's in Ed- and likely my Ph.D in Ed after this- has been that it positions me to get involved in a way that I can make larger changes than most classroom teachers might be able to influence.

I'm also really glad that homeschool was a positive thing for you! And I don't believe in outlawing homeschool or anything either; I do think it needs more regulation and resources, and I think there needs to be a wider array of options overall, but like. Given how education has historically been weaponized against indigenous communities to carry out cultural genocide (in the form of boarding schools), I think any laws against homeschooling would just end up repeating that same history.

But like, you can't ignore that homeschool has absolutely been used as a tool of abuse, too. And you can't ignore that abusive families and home environments exist, and you can't just... refuse to acknowledge the push from the conservative right to de-regulate homeschooling & break down public ed in order to further empower them to isolate and brainwash kids.

Hell, you wanna talk about how kids are taught to stop thinking, stop talking, and follow orders? Take a little day trip to a fundamentalist homeschooling network sometime.

You talk about public ed like it's this homogeneously evil entity designed for, and only capable of, abusing kids. But you wanna know what?

My family is abusive! My upbringing was abusive!

And sure, there's a chance they may have been able to pay for private school or something if public school had not been an option- for a few years, anyway. But that's because my grandparents have money, and because my mom was just neglectful enough to want me out of her hair.

I went to three elementary schools, two middle schools, and four high schools. All of those were public schools. Some of them sucked more than others, but all of them offered me:

An escape from home that I needed so desperately that, for a long time, I extended by hiding out at the public library for an extra 3+ hours.

Reliable lunches, even when my mom wouldn't pay for them.

Adults that I could trust, and did trust.

Adult role models and examples of a better future, especially in the queer adults that taught me.

Social connections, one of which was with a current roommate and my best friend.

Directly applicable knowledge and skills: cooking, online research and internet safety, everything I know about safe sex, finances, how to do my taxes, basic governmental structure, local, national, and world history, basic court proceedings, how to navigate colleges/university, (some) critical literacy & critical thinking skills, social-emotional learning, (some) critical race theory...

An array of options for different paths into an adult career: understanding (some) options like trade schools, community college, university, and the military (gross), and why I might choose one of those options vs. going straight into work.

Examples of and exposure to different & diverse ways of being, from home lives, to cultures, to queerness, to experiences I would never have firsthand.

Like, I have definitely grown up in pretty progressive areas & school districts, and that's a big part of it (though the conservative-leaning school I went to was also the school where my creative writing teacher read us a short story that he wrote about some gay star-crossed truckers).

These schools exist, and these experiences exist, and it's silly to dismiss them out of hand because your one stint into public school once was a nightmare.

And it's worse to dismiss the resource that these places are to so many families & kids. It's free childcare, it's one sure meal every day, it's community, it's exposure to diversity.

The practical alternative to that, for a lot of poor families, is child labor.

You don't have to like public education. I certainly have mixed feelings on it, and understanding & addressing the deep-seated problems in it are, like, the cornerstone of my life's work at this point.

What you should do, imo, is learn to recognize when you might not have all the context and information you need to make a judgement call like "destroy public education forever", look around at the people saying what you're saying & why they might be saying it, and perhaps consider listening to the people who have already been doing the work you've assumed is impossible.

[thosehallowedhalls]

Home Without

Book: Crimes of Passion 2

Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Emma Rose)

Rating: Teen

Word count: 1880

Summary: Trystan and Emma solve Nadja's murder on the first night. But what's left for them as a couple now that she doesn't have a reason to stay?

Series masterlist

A/N: Fun fact: this is saved on my laptop as WITWC - What If They Were Competent? It's ridiculous how incompetent Trystan and MC were in the second book. There was no reason for it to take so long or for Sebastyan to die. An energetic rant with the wonderful @inlocusmads made me wonder... what if they solved it as soon as they could have? Would MC have stayed in Drakovia? This is the result.

This story fits @choicesjanuary2024, day 18: memory. @lilyoffandoms. I also included a prompt from @choicesflashfics, which is bolded below.

Tags: @dutifullynuttywitch @stars-are-within-me

Part 1

This is not how Emma expected to end the day.

Trystan is sitting there telling her he doesn’t appreciate her tone, like he’s her father instead of her partner, and he might want that damn throne.

“I’m finished with this conversation,” he adds, his dismissive tone setting alight the flame of her temper.

“Well I’m not.”

She follows him out of the library, Alice on her heels. She needs to get at least one last message across. “Let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t up for debate, I’m going back home this week. With or without you.”

Trystan’s steps falter, but he continues to advance towards his suite. The sharp intake of breath is her first clue that something is wrong.

The unmistakable smell of blood is another.

Emma quickly gets to Trystan’s side and places a hand on his shoulder, an unconscious show of support, even as she takes in the brutality of the scene in front of her.

“Nadja,” he whispers. She’s never heard him sound so lost before. “She’s dead.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“How…?”

“Trystan.” Her training takes over. “This is an active crime scene now. We need to call your parents and Ruby.”

Once they leave the throne room, Trystan takes her hand.

“Emma, wait. I’m sorry for freezing you out earlier. Today has been – and continues to be – overwhelming.”

The apology is appreciated, but they have bigger fish to fry right now. So she tells him it’s already forgotten, even though she knows they will have to revisit the topic soon – and neither of them is likely to appreciate the outcome of that conversation.

He nods, grateful, but doesn’t let go of her hand. “What you said earlier…”

She knows what he wants to ask. But she can’t let herself go down this road. Not yet. “Let’s focus on the case. We can… We can talk about it later.”

After they finish searching Lydea’s room, Emma turns to Trystan.

“One suite down, seven to go. Whose room do we search next?”

“Vasili’s is next door, but murder is hardly his type.”

“Murder is hardly anybody’s type. Until it is.”

“Be that as it may, I have a hard time imagining him as a murderer. Other than Mags, he’s my only sane sibling.”

“Then this should be over quickly.”

They smell the blood before they even make it through the door.

“No,” Trystan breathes. “It can’t be.”

But they both see it. The bloody smears on the floor. The sweater vest stained with blood.

“Vasili?”

“Right. Unless this is an attempt to frame yet another Thorne, I’d say this case is open and shut.”

Vasili looks almost resigned when they step into the throne room and turn to face him. He doesn’t attempt to run or convince them that there’s a mistake or he’s being framed. Instead, he gives Trystan a look of profound disdain.

“This is your fault, you know.” He looks at Emma. “Both of you.”

“Oh? Did we hold a gun to your head and force you to slit a woman’s throat?”

“As good as. You got him off the hook for Juliana’s murder. You got him reinstated as Crown Prince.”

“Wait. Juliana’s murder? How would you…” Trystan’s face slackens in shock. “It was you?”

“No, it was you! If Juliana hadn’t chosen you, none of this would have happened.”

The family has been mostly silent so far, most likely out of sheer shock. But at this, Sebastyan steps forward. He’s looking at Vasili like he’s a stranger. “You killed Juliana? Why?”

Trystan sucks in a breath. “The letter that Noemi read in court. Juli wrote it to you.”

“We’d made all these plans. We’d pass the Act, she’d talk you into abdicating, and then we’d finally be together.  But then… she chose you. She decided she wanted to be with you. Never mind that she knew you would make a terrible king. Never mind that we talked about how your irresponsibility would run Drakovia into the ground. The second she fell in love with you, she forgot all about her principles.”

“That’s quite enough.” Queen Viktoria’s tone leaves a trail of frost behind. She shifts her steely gaze from her stepson to her daughter. “Lydea.”

Lydea’s eyes flash with something that Emma thinks might be pain. But then she sets her jaw. “Prince Vasili Thorne, you’re under arrest for the murders of Nadja Zoric and Countess Juliana Georgescu.”

“Well. That was fun.” Emika’s voice breaks into the stunned silence.

“Emika.” Although his face is a portrait of grief, Maksim turns to Eveline. She stands stock still, her hands pressed to her mouth and her eyes brimming with tears. “Let’s go, my love. You need to rest.”

As though she’s on strings, she lets herself be led out of the room, but Emma knows Eveline won’t be doing any resting. Not tonight, not for a long time.

She looks at the remaining Thornes. The twins are talking animatedly, apparently delighted by this turn of events. Astrid is texting. Sebastyan and Marguerite sit close together, looking devastated. And Trystan… Trystan stands next to her, a storm of sorrow in his eyes.

She takes his hand, making a mental note to check on Marguerite later. “Trystan?”

“Did… did that really just happen?”

“I’m afraid so.” She takes his arm. “Why don’t we go outside?”

“Why? Is outside an alternate universe where my brother isn’t a murderer and didn’t kill two innocent women, one of whom was my late fiancée?”

“No, but outside has the benefit of being devoid of Thornes.”

He gives the tiniest of laughs. There is hardly any humor behind it, but she’ll take it. “It’s annoying how often you’re right.”

There’s something eerily beautiful about the palace gardens at night. Emma isn’t a fanciful person, but she almost expects to see faeries frolicking and witches casting spells. This is a place for magic. The harsh, unforgiving type you might find in a Brothers Grimm fairytale.

“I can’t believe this, Emma.”

“I know.”

“I always thought Vasili was the best of us. The only one I trusted more was Marguerite. But all along, he hated me.”

“Maybe not all along.”

“Long enough. And I never picked up on it.”

“That’s not your fault. He never meant for you to pick up on it.”

He looks out to the gardens, his expression haunted. “Two women are dead because of that hate.”

“No, two women are dead because Vasili is a murderer. He could have talked to you. Instead, he chose to kill two people.” She lays a hand on his arm. “Trystan, I’m sure learning that Vasili and Juliana were together was a shock, but…”

“A shock is a surprise. This falls more along the lines of full-on electrocution.”

The fact that he’s still cracking jokes gives her hope. “But don’t let that ruin the memory of what you and Juliana had. You heard him. She chose you.”

He smiles faintly. “I know, Emma. Don't worry, I’m not having an existential crisis over the fact that Juliana had a life before me.”

“Good.”

She wraps an arm around his waist and tugs him into a hug. Trystan sighs, embracing her in return. “Emma Rose, voluntarily hugging? I’m all aflutter.”

“I hug you all the time.”

“It doesn’t count when I start it.”

“Trystan?”

“Hmm?”

“Be quiet.”

He laughs and holds her closer. “How is it that you make everything better?”

“I’m irresistible?”

“Yes.” He’s no longer laughing. “You are.”

They don’t bring up their earlier fight. They don’t talk about the strong possibility that he will stay in Drakovia, or about her proclamation that she will go back either way. By tacit agreement, they focus on getting through the present moment.

Eventually, however, they have to face the future.

Early the next morning, Emma opens her bedroom door to find Trystan standing outside, a travel mug in his hand.

“I brought you coffee.”

She takes it, bracing herself for what she knows is coming. “Thanks.”

“Can we go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

They walk in silence for several minutes. The palace gardens are as beautiful as they were night before, although far less eerie. She finds herself missing the almost otherworldly beauty. It suited her current mood much better than the Disney-esque quality of daylight.

“I can’t leave,” he says finally. Although it’s not a surprise, Emma’s heart still squeezes in pain. “What Vasili said…”

“Nadja’s murder wasn’t your fault. Neither was Juliana’s.”

“Maybe not, but… he was right about me, Emma. What he and Juliana talked about… I would have made a terrible king. I spent the first twenty-two years of my life dumping my responsibilities on everybody around me. Lydea, Vasili… even Bas, and he was only a teenager when I was exiled.”

“You were barely more than a kid.”

“I’m not a kid anymore. I abandoned my responsibilities to Drakovia once before. To do so again would mean…”

“What?”

He shakes his head. “I have to stay.”

“I understand.” And she does. Even as part of her hurts so badly she’s vaguely surprised she’s still standing, she smiles at him. “You’ll make an amazing leader.”

Trystan takes an unsteady breath. “Would you… Would you consider staying?”

“I can’t.” She looks down at her mug, at her boots, at the grass beneath them. Anything to avoid looking at him. “My life is in New York.”

“You could have a life here.” He cups her jaw. “I promise to make it as good as I possibly can.”

“Trystan, you can’t be my whole entire life. What would I even do here?”

“You could open your own agency! You saved a beloved Drakovian princess from a serial killer and put a prince away for two murders. Clients would be clamoring for your services.” His eyes soften. “And we could be together, you and me.”

“Yeah, like your dad and Eveline are together. That would never be enough for me.”

“Emma, I would never…”

“Trystan. What are the odds that your parents – or Drakovia in general – would accept an American private detective as your partner?” When his face falls, she nods. “That’s what I thought.”

She isn’t sure who moves first, but before she knows it, they’re tangled together. The kiss is so desperate she doesn’t know how they’ll break apart, not that she particularly cares. Trystan’s arms hold her tightly enough that she would worry about bruises if she had the bandwidth to think about anything at all, and she sinks her fingers into his hair, trying to commit the feel of it to memory.

After today, that’s all they’ll ever be. A memory.

He insists on taking her to the airport. Luke and Ruby are staying a few more days, but she made an excuse about needing to help out Uncle Tommy at the bar. The longer she stays with Trystan, the harder it will be to leave him behind.

He lingers on the goodbye hug. Emma clings to him, every bit as reluctant to part as he obviously is. But eventually, she breaks the hug and steps back.

“Well, Your Highness. It’s been an experience.”

Trystan smiles back. She wonders if her own smile looks as forced. “Detective. That it has.”

She searches through her carry-on for her boarding pass, steps into the boarding gate.

She doesn’t look back.

@choicesficwriterscreations

[happysparklingshadows]

𝙻𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚠𝚜 + 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝 (’96)

Warnings: Gore, Smut, and mature themes.

Notes: She is so fucking pretty it makes my body feel tingly and my brain goes into a monkey place 👉👈🥺

                           *.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Lottie is very affectionate and attentive to you because she didn’t/wasn’t able to get any from her parents. She kisses you often, claiming that she can’t help herself from stopping herself; she holds your hand whenever wherever, and she is a sucker for putting her hands on your chest to feel your heartbeat. To Lottie, it feels like a more profound connection is built by the sensation of feeling your heartbeat for only her. Before the crash, she was into buying and stealing items for you. If you wanted something, you got it. After the crash, Lottie likes making little crafts for her hair or protection charms.  

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

She is not scared once the Wilderness takes over. To Lottie, her killing isn’t really her but this primal need to protect and keep her beloved fed. However, Lottie isn’t pushed to kill out of jealousy or fear of their beloved leaving them. Lottie knows that they will always return to her, and she will ensure it happens. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

No. Lottie is charming when it comes to her beloved, so abducting is a little bit past her willingness as a yandere. Lottie will pressure and manipulate you to keep you with her, there is no question, but she would never have you against your will because she can’t stand the sight of you in distress or panic; to her, that is her job to protect you from feeling that. 

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Lottie forces you to do things without you realizing it. She is slightly overbearing and critical as a person; she looks at things she doesn’t like with a turned nose without shame. Sometimes when you wear something not to her liking, or if you talk to another person too emotionally, or say something she doesn’t like, she will look at you sharply. Over time you simply would adapt with her as your partner and slowly try to please her in fear of her judgment. You wear clothes you don’t really like, you will eat food that makes you sick, you will listen to music that bores you, etc. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

All of it. Lottie’s beloved before and especially after the crash is the only person Lottie talks to about her feelings because that was how she was raised with her emotionally distant parents. Lottie is open about her feelings outside of her mental illness or the dark episodes; she will never go into detail about them before the crash. Lottie can’t mask anything anymore without her medication in the wilderness, and she will become more intense with how she talks to you. 

“Where were you?” 

“I went out to go pee, Lottie. What-”

“You can’t just walk away at night. I don’t know what I would do if you died. I would die too.”

“Lottie, don’t talk that way!”

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Lottie would be an emotional wreck and wouldn’t be able to speak. She is very passionate and puts you on a pedestal of what it is to be loved by a person; because of her emotionally distanced family, and that you are the only one that has ever made her feel so cared for, she would be a mix of emotions with intense plans spinning in her mind. She would find a way to get you, spread a rumor about you, put you to the whole school if it meant you would stay, and stalk you if you genuinely left her. She’s not afraid of using her Social capital and wealth to get you back to where you belong, right beside her. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This isn’t a game. Lottie is deadly serious. She doesn’t like to think her affections or yours are a joke, and she takes the path of empathy every time there is an issue. She is a Dark Empath and will find a way to get you to feel the feelings she wants you to have. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Lottie is very aware of herself and her actions. Although she is under the influence of her mental illnesses, she always tries to be a good girlfriend. She thinks about it every waking moment about how she can be good or better for you. However, The worst thing that Lottie does is when she is stuck inside a delusion of some kind. As things get more tense and brutal, Lottie is convinced the others want to steal you away from her and that you are willing to leave her one of them, and she gets hysterical. 

“I’ll fucking rip their throats out! I will feed the wilderness every drop of their blood-”

“Lottie,” You frantically cup her cheek and try to get her to look into your eyes, her eyes wide with madness looking around the empty room. 

“No! You can’t leave me, (Y/n)!” Lottie sobbed violently; her hands curled at a bruising force on your sides as she forced you to press against her. She whispers to you, pathetically, “I’ll fucking everyone if I can’t have you. I will kill myself-”

You kiss her to get her to stop talking and stop her thoughts. You take ash on your finger and take her hand, “This isn’t real. You know that. I love you so much, Lottie, listen to me and the wilderness. Feel me.”  You whisper to her to calm her down. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Honestly, Lottie doesn’t think much about her future or yours. She is someone who lives in the moment and wants to be together. Lottie just wants to be together forever, and if you wanted to have a life together, then you guys would. She literally would do anything for you and would live any life if it was with you. She snuck around behind your back to find out which college you were going into, and she paid to get into it and to live in the same dorm as you, because she doesn’t want to be apart. 

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, yeah, Lottie Matthews gets jealous. She is a quiet sulking type of jealous most of the time, but she can be confrontational when someone gets too close to you. She doesn’t want to scare you with how much she wants to do to them stabbing their chest until their heart is caved in and made into a bowl of blood to offer to the great mother Because you are her baby, and she is your protector and savior. No one can or will get in the way of that. 

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

They are very loving and attentive. She genuinely cares about her partner's feelings and wants. However, their lover will never truly see how Lottie twists and makes their feelings something more or less than they are. Dismissive and directing is how Lottie shows her darkness, but other than that, she guides and acts out the role of the loving spiritual lover. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Lottie is feminine and still a girl in the 1990s, so she will approach you subtly and through friendly teasing. This drew out the dating process for a while because you two became friends and flirted together. It would take you to make the first move for this girl to finally act out the way she wants with you. I see you kissing her for the first time, and Lottie would make it into a hardcore make out session. 

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from how they act around everyone else?

Honestly, she only has to mask as much as she usually does with her mental illness, and she believes she has these tendencies because of her condition. Lottie is lovely and caring, but she can be snarky and ruthless with her words at times. She hides the obsession and the need to have you by holding her tongue, but you will learn how much she wants to tell you over the years of being together. 

“Lottie, you’re sick!” You cry and hold a hand to your mouth, trying to keep in the sob as you look on with horror. Lottie stands over a girl with a knife, and her blood spills onto the witch’s cave in the tree stump she has grown fond of in the wilderness. 

“(Y/n)... You have no idea how far  I will go to serve you. You are precious to me.” Lottie says slowly and calmly, the antler hairdresser resting proudly on her brown curls. She moves towards you and crouches in your cowardly form. She grabs your cheeks in her hand. “I love you; I need to feed you. Let me prey for food for you… She needed to die as a sacrifice, she understood. 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Lottie punishes for withdrawing her affection, attention, and money. She will stop spoiling you; you like getting gas money to drive her to school, lol, no more. You like getting little gifts or kisses throughout the day. No way, dude, she will walk right by you. She will ensure that you depend on her somehow to ensure you feel her lack in your life. You will do and say whatever you have to for her to come back. 

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

When Lottie isn’t punishing you or making a point to you, she doesn’t give you many rules. You are allowed to have your friends, have your own opinions, disagree with her, and don’t have to follow any restrictions outside of a normal relationship. Lottie doesn’t see herself as someone who can boss you around. She sees you as something bigger than herself and that you are this ethereal light in her life. Almost like you were an angel guiding her unworthy moral self through the dark world that is out for both of you, she will have to be the one that would get dirty for you, and you were her religion. 

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

She is extremely patient and kind to any emotion or reaction you have. She has this natural talent for being a listener and a healer; she doesn’t mind outbursts or violence if it comes to it. She is subtle and slow with how she gets her claws into you, so there isn’t much need to be patient in the ordinary Yandere sense. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

I don’t think you could leave Lottie because she would manipulate and condition you into believing you can’t live without her. Not in a terrifying way, as I told you before, but she will always find a way to get you to her. The only way to actually leave Lottie would be to die. 

Lottie would be a mess and unable to move after you die. I see her going nonverbal and slowly starving herself to death because the light has been sucked out of the world. Lottie won’t be able to move on or even live on past your death. She would be a ghost of her former self and go down a dark path with herself for a long time after your death. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about what they are doing to their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No, I don’t think Lottie has any regrets with you. She views her actions and plotting as something to keep the natural order in place as some kind of guardian of the wilderness. She doesn’t think what she does is wrong. She will never feel bad for how they act with their lover. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Childhood. When she was a little girl, Lottie had visions and premonitions; she had one that had never left her mind. She has an image of herself as an adult at a small farm with a bee colony around her, and she would have a wife that would come to her all pretty, like an angel. She remembers the rush of butterflies in her body as a little girl and how much hope and happiness filled her heart. She thought it was nice to know that someone would love her, and when she seen you, it was set in motion. 

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It feels like someone is ripping her heart apart and making her want to cry herself. She doesn’t know what to do when you isolate yourself, but she will try her best to be loving and understanding. She will keep her eyes on you like a hawk as your space. But crying or screaming and showing fear makes Lottie have this primal sorrow come out of her like she failed to protect you and have you safe from the world. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic Yandere?

There is something profoundly spiritual or religious in the way Lottie and you love each other. Lottie creates an environment where you two can worship and pray to each other for salvation in the darkness of your new realities. Lottie sees you as an archangel of what life is, and you symbolize something deeper that Lottie can’t even explain. She just knows she needs to have you and protect you from death. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit to escape?

 Lottie’s kindness. You can make her melt like butter if you just reflect her affection back on her. 

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No, I don’t think Lottie would intentionally hurt her lover outside of emotional distress. Lottie will scare you and make you scared for her, but she would never physically hurt you outside of bites in the heat of passion. 

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Lottie fucking WORSHIPS you. She would pray to you like an altar if she could, and she could probably make a move to do that to you once starvation starts to loosen your moral compass. 

You look down to see Lottie on her knees, her face pressed into your stomach as she nuzzled into the warm center of your body. She kisses the skin of your abdomen and looks up at you.

 “Are you full, baby?” 

“Yes, I’m full. Thank you so much, Lottie.” You say to her and kiss her; the acceptance of the dark and disturbing truth of the meat in your belly is inside was once a friend. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Lottie snapping is slow and happens simultaneously as her mind does in the wilderness. She has loved you for a long time, and you were being so kind to her mental illness and made her love for you grow like the hunger within her. She can’t get enough of your divine light or gentle love on her that she has been longing for all her life. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

I don’t think that Lottie would need to break her darling. Still, she just slowly degrades your self-reliance, and your dependence on her will grow over time that you wouldn’t even notice, honestly.  

Yandere Level 

5/10 (Very possessive but cute girlfriend, who could never do anything wrong, right?) 

Freedom Level

8/10 (You are very accessible; however, Lottie is very close behind you bc y’all are codependent.) 

Shauna  ✿ Natalie

[cyn-if]

Hello! Can I ask what the dynamics with the ROs are like? Also, I love your writing! :D

Thanks, glad you liked it!

Hmm, I wouldn't exactly trust myself answering this question exactly, but I can give some of my current insight on the dynamics. A lot of this will continue to be fleshed out as I write the "romance" tinted scenes. (I'm also not certain about what exactly you are looking for so hopefully my answer helps!) (I'm also going to try not to spoil much in these answers, but all the same they could give insights that you don't get with the game and by extension spoil certain things. You have been warned.)

Everix: Everix is very caring, in a soft way, preferring subtle gestures and displays of affections. They have a noble upbringing and some traditional views on relationships as a result, reigning in their emotion as most nobles are taught to do. More specific to the MC, the rune that gives them power over the MC unsettles them quite a lot. Furhermore, the situation the MC is in Everix sympathizes with quite a lot. They worry for the MC and see themself in them (at least at the start). The exact details of how the relationship will be a little up in the air depending on the MC. Any same sex relationships will furthermore be Everix's first relationship of that type and will be addressed.

Hayes: Hayes is a lot more forward with their intentions, preferring to "live a little" while they still can. They, like Everix, have a noble upbringing, yet buck against most of the decorum they were taught, but not necessarily the "keep your emotions in check" part. While Hayes may be quick to flirt with people and even enjoy one-night stand type relationships, they do not actually open up any more then that (at least haven't in their past). For their relationship/attraction to the MC, they are interested in the thrill that pursuing the MC gives them. The fear they experience around the MC brings something to their attraction that is different from the other people Hayes has had interest in. Hayes themself is a very physical person, showing affection through touch, both platonically and romantically. A lot of how Hayes will address their fears and desires for the MC will come later as the relationship develops.

Sam: Sam completely avoids emotional attachment to people and has since the MC was imprisoned. (This goes doubly so for a Sam that the MC admitted they loved romantically in the past). It will take a lot for the MC to get Sam to be willing to open up, let alone actually commit to a relationship. As the MC can learn, Sam has never been in a relationship (outside of a possible one with the MC). As you might be able to glean, Sam before the MC's imprisonment was fiery, passionate and a overbearing optimist and in their past possible relationship Sam would've been eager to do just about anything with the MC, as long as they did it together. But if that Sam will return is a mystery.

Quinn: Quinn has very different approaches to relationships then the other characters. Mainly stemming from her species. Being an Estriel, she outlives most of the other mortals around her and since she has chosen to leave her home she rarely associates with other Estriel. This of course has made it so that she doesn't truly connect with those she dates or gets with. At least not openly, most of the time hiding her true feelings or masking them, to attempt to save herself later. This was the case with Morganna's parents, despite the fact she did care for them a lot, she knew that they'd die long before she did, so tempered her own feelings for them. With the MC, she sees opportunity. The MC being something she has dedicated her life so far to studying, spending as much time with and learning as much as she can about the MC is something she wants. She is more then willing to enter a relationship with the MC to learn more. But at the same time, while it hasn't been proven, Quinn hypothesizes that Corruptants are immortal, so potentially she wouldn't need to temper her feelings towards them.

Maverick: Growing up surrounded by "family" in the cult cell he was in, isolated Maverick from a proper experience surrounding all things relationship. Add onto the alienation he faced due to his visions and status in the cult and Maverick has absolutely zero experience and similar levels of knowledge on dealing with feelings of attraction. The Cult's "sex-ed" is unsurprisingly not really focused on and thus Maverick is partly unaware of how/why he feels a lot of the way he feels. Mavericks own quiet and anxious personality don't really help him when it comes to admitting or addressing those feelings, and like Sam, a relationship with the MC will be the first/only one he has had up to the point. A lot of the relationship will be exploring that but even more specific to the MC is his worship/deification of the MC. Maverick will do basically whatever the MC says, but views the MC completely "untouchable"/out of his league. A romance with him will have to explore these types of themes.

Again, I'm not sure exactly about these types of things, and a lot of expansion will come when I write the scenes. Hopefully this answered your question!

I'll also add that while this story has character interaction and will have more romance, it is not a romance story, so I apologize in advance if I'm not that good at writing that type of stuff.

[gaviymarcsbride]

Hi! Me topé con tu cuenta and I loved the lil Gavi shot. Saw you're Venezuelan. Yo también lo soy🇻🇪🤟 I have thought about this and it gives me all kind of emotions, could you do a Gavi one shot where reader, his gf, is Venezuelan so, sometimes she goes and says stuff like: Ladilla, c-ño, pana and the things we say all the time, including with the accent we have (que no sea maracucho plis), and basically how Gavi is loco for her y su léxico? Maybe, he picks n says some things too? Plis, thanks

A/N: I screamed out of happiness when I read this request because yes. I tried so discúlpame if you didn't like it. And yes, no fucking way was I gonna use a maracucho accent I love them but also hate them with a passion.

And my English speaking audience: sorry for the horrible translations

"Coño!" (Fuck!) You exclaimed after accidentally touching the hot pan. "Gavi, me traes esa vaina que esta ahi" (Gavi can you bring me that thing over there) you said signaling with your head to the beef you just finished preparing for the arepas you were trying to make.

And let's just say, you wish your grandma was here in this exact moment.

"Recuerdame que significa vaina otra vez mi amor?"(Remind me what vaina means again, my love? He faked ignorance as if he didn't google a bunch of venezuelan words to appease you and your family.

Gavi snickered. He loved it when your venezuelan slang randomly came out, like you couldn't control. It always made his day.

"Pablo no tengo tiempo para esto, mi familia nos viene a visitar, así que necesito que todo este en order o-" (Pablo i don't have the time for this, my family is coming to visit, and I need everything to be in order or-) he cut you off with a kiss, like he always did to get you calm down, these family reunions always stresses you out, but he was here through all of it.

He turned the stove off and flipped the arepas to make sure they didnt burn before picking you up and setting you on the counter. "Cielo, y si te tomas un descanso y esperamos que llegue tu mama a ayudarte con la comida porque necesito todo la energía posible para soportar la ladilla de tu hermano y tu papa" (Sky, what if you take a break and we wait for your mom to help out with the food because I'm gonna need all the energy I can get to get through an evening with your brother and your dad)

Now it was your turn to snicker. Being raised as a Real Madrid fan came to many arguments as to which team was better, especially from your die-hard fan dad. "Lo se, todavía recuerdo la cara que puso cuando se entero que salía con un jugador del barça"(I know, i can still remember his face when he found out i'm dating a barça player) you both laughed at the face you made when you said barça.

"Bueno, que voy hacer si su hija es burda de buena" (well what can I do when his daughter is hella hot) he said inching his face towards you to leave a passionate kiss on your lips.

Until you were interrupted by the doorbell. Of course you both thought.

You were met by your family and surprisingly Pedri, that came to drop off something Pablo forgot in his car, but as soon as you mentioned the Arepas you were making he couldn't help but join in.

The rest of the evening was spent making jokes, your brother and dad teasing the number 6 just as you predicted, and with Gavi showing his new vocabulary to impress your parents.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for leaving teenagers on an abandoned island to die?

I (adult, M) made a show that took place on an island far from the coast of the country I live in. The show was supposed to be a gameshow that had teenagers as its contestants and it needed the teens to be isolated from most of society for the show to work (hence why I chose such a faraway location)

When we finished filming, something happened. One of the contestants suddenly went missing and when we found him, he was quite literally chopped up into pieces. So the other host/my best friend, H (adult, M), and I fled the island. We were really panicking so we kind of forgot to save the contestants

Then right after this, I told my show's producers what happened and they immediately cancelled it and announced the teens missing!

Now not only is H nagging me to do something about the teens who we left behind (and risk our lives in the process), but the contestants' parents and lawyers are nagging me to do something too

Before they got on the show, I made their guardians sign papers which CLEARLY stated that the show could result in injury/death. I even told them to check every page .They all still signed nonetheless

It's not my fault they probably died, it's their guardians' for y'know... not reading the damn papers before signing

My lawyers are thankfully winning in the legal battle for me, but the lengthy process and H's words have been getting to me recently. H isn't usually so emotional, but he seems extremely passionate over this

So I'll ask again, AITA?

[everafterfics]

What Do You Know About Love? [Viktor x Reader]

This was just a quick fic cause I was having some feelings recently that I needed to get out. It’s about 650 words and I wrote it kinda fast. There’s no use of Y/N at all either by the way.

Synopsis:

Viktor says that he loves you but you aren’t sure what love feels like.

Warnings: Nothing explicit. I don’t want to say it’s angst but the reader does question themselves about love

Viktor cupped your cheeks gently in his hands and he brought your face close to his own. “I love you.” he whispered before placing his lips upon your own. It was a long drawn out kiss, passionate without going over the edge. He pulled away slowly but when he opened his eyes the last thing that Viktor expected to see were tears streaming down your face. He hesitantly placed a single hand to your cheek and lightly wiped away a tear as he spoke. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I want to…” Your voice caught in your throat, unable to complete your sentence. 

Viktor cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. He spoke with a voice like honey, one that could soothe anything that was wrong. “You want to? What is it that you want my love?”

“I want to say it back. But I-“ You backed away from his touch and wrapped your arms around yourself. “I don’t think I know what love is.” You sniffled and felt your throat grow tight. You hated crying in front of anybody, but something about crying in front of Viktor felt even worse. You didn’t want him to pity you, not for something as mundane as this. And yet you continued to cry, your sobs growing louder and more intense with every sentence spoken. “I’ve never… been with anybody before, so how can I possibly know when I’m actually feeling love. I don’t even think I mean it when I say it to my parents. I just- I don’t want to say it and not mean it. How can I tell if I mean it?!” 

Viktor took you by the shoulders and pulled you into a tight hug. “Shhh. It’s ok. You don’t have to say it back.”

“It’s not fair to you.” You sobbed into his chest and he began to lightly stroke your hair.

“Then let me ask you, how often do you think of me?”

You thought for a moment before answering in a pitiful and hoarse voice “…Everyday”

Viktor hummed in response, a small smile working it’s way onto his lips. “And when you see me, does your heart flutter? Does the sight of me put a smile on your face?”

A smile cracked onto your own lips at his questions. “Yes.” Came your answer, muffled from your face in his shirt. 

“Would you be devastated if I were to die?”

You pulled away from him at his suddenly dark question. Your face was riddled with despair. So much so that Viktor felt terrible for even asking such a thing. “Viktor, please don’t make me think of things like that.”

“I’m sorry dear.” he sighed and ran his hands down your arms until they were grasping your own. “I do have one more question though. When I tell you I love you does it warm your heart?”

You looked at him with tear-filled eyes and gave a warm smile. “It does.” you answered.

“All of those thoughts and feelings… that is love.”

“It is?” 

He smiled warmly at you. “It is. But you don’t have to say it. I’ve known that you loved me for quite some time.”

“You have?”

Viktor leaned in to touch his forehead to yours. “Mhmm. I’ve known from the way to bring me food when you know I haven’t eaten. And from the small gifts you give me, just because you saw them and thought of me. From the long nights you spend by my side just so I am not alone.” With each new example he gives your smile grows wider and wider. “You don’t need to say you love me because you show it instead.” He leaned his head back up and looked into your eyes, still puffy from crying but now scrunched in the corners from your wide grin. “And so you don’t forgot, I will tell you once more. I love you” 

[moreespressoformydepresso]

So to get to the soulmate identifying mark and the actual story/fix-it part of the my Treech x Gaius x Festus soulmate AU, it uhm… took me longer than expected to type this. I was a dumbass who decided it was bedtime and then completely forgot to keep working on this draft lmao. Whoopsies.

There are many soulmate identifiers that could work in this AU, but I tend to stick with marks because it gives Treech a good excuse to already be aware of the bond. It adds an extra layer of character that he’d know about it and actively choose not to share this information. Their mark has a floral pattern, symbolizing Festus and Gaius’s positive personality traits. The aspect of the mark that represents Treech is the fact that this floral pattern is actually a wood carving. The wood texture is easy to miss if you aren’t looking for it, but it’s there. It represents not only Treech’s passion for wood carving, but just his creative side in general. He's also not scared to speak his mind, and art is a form of self-expression. Treech is present in the core of the mark, under the surface but undeniably there. Kind of like their eventual dynamic, where Gaius and Festus have power but they’re so in love that Treech is the one calling the shots. Since Capitol elite is a whole lot of social climbing Treech is arguably the first person to ever show outright disdain for them, and even when he starts to like them he’s not afraid to speak his mind. And since he’s their soulmate, they actually care about his opinion.

Alright, with that ramble out of the way, lets get fixing:

So this AU starts on the first day, where Coryo brings Lucy Gray the rose and she mentions it reminds me of her soulmark (part of the mark is a guitar with a white rose motif). Then in the zoo she mentions playing the guitar and the gears start turning in Coryo’s head. After a brief stint of denial he realizes that Sejanus is also his soulmate and from the districts so really it’s not that impossible. One trip to the zoo later confirms that yes they’re a threesome. Coryo goes through his mental gymnastics of “well she’s Covey so it’s fine” until Sejanus smacks down his pitiful grasping at straws. After all, he considers himself district, so Coryo’s logic isn’t logicing very well. He brings it to Tigris, who helps him come to the correct conclusion that maybe the world isn’t black and white. Maybe judging people based on where they were born isn’t good, actually. And also Lucy Gray is gonna be sent into an arena to die soon so really regardless of whether she’s district or not the clock is fucking ticking so he better figure something out and get a move on. Which he does by talking to Gaul, who does not listen to a word he says hammers on about her stupid theory about humanity.

One talk with Sejanus helps Coryo realize that maybe Gaul’s world isn’t gospel and actually she’s kind of crazy? Sejanus, meanwhile, has the realization that his boyfriend isn’t exactly healthy minded and hasn’t been all that upfront with him about how close he is with Gaul. What nonsense she’s been feeding him and all that. So he starts digging, as he does, and over the course of this story he and Lucy Gray slowly help Coryo realize that Gaul is wrong and that while the loss of his parents is sad, the Capitol has done much worse than the districts ever did for far longer. Their treatment of the districts caused the rebellion, so if anyone’s to blame it’s the Capitol. But before they can bring systematic change they need to make sure Lucy Gray doesn’t die next week, and while Coryo is planning to stick with cheating his soulmates aren’t about that. The other tributes deserve to live as well, so hey why not shoot high and try to cancel the games entirely? But Gaul isn’t gonna stop and Highbottom has no say so what can they do?

Expose the bond. That’s what they can do. They get a news crew to the zoo and reveal their shared soulmarks on camera, live so no Capitol censorship can take it down. It causes quite the problem for Gaul, who tries to save her precious games and thus basically “disowns” Coryo as her apprentice. This is the final push that gets Coryo to choose being a good person. However, he has two soulmates that are considered district and the Snow family lost a lot of influence so Gaul is using that to argue that this bond doesn’t “count” as proof that the district people aren’t vile animals. This is where Treech and his bond comes in. Gaius and Festus have been pushed as a power couple for a long while so at some point Treech caught a glimpse of their soulmark and realized it’s his own. It’s in a pretty hidden spot (either on their sides or torsos) so he decides to keep this information to himself. Until he realizes the games may actually at least be postponed if he reveals it.

But he has no idea how to go about it until Gaul’s pushing causes the interviews to come around. It’s the day before the games and it’s not like there’s anything to lose so Treech decides it’s time for a hail mary pass. And on live TV, in front of a massive audience, he reveals the mark. Lucky asks him whether he knows his soulmate and whether they’re waiting for him, so Treech smiles and says he’s never talked to them but he knows who they are, and he’s not sure whether it’s a blessing or a curse. Then when asked what that means, he starts lifting/pulling aside his shirt to show the mark while saying:

“Well, one of them lives in luxury thanks to the pain that me and everyone I’ve ever known has been put through. The other one openly jokes about said pain and clearly thinks it’s funny. I’m not sure if I really want to get to know them.”

Cue gasps all around. Shocked whispers and murmurs floating through the air while Lucky tries to figure out how to salvage this situation before a whole brawl breaks out because guess what? Treech has just irrefutably debunked the only thing that kept the games from being cancelled. Lucy Gray’s bond wasn’t with true capitolites? Well Gaius and Festus have been pushed as the greatest example of a golden capitol bond and now this nobody from the lumber district turns out to be a part of it! There isn’t really any arguing against that. To rub further salt into the wound Treech continues.

“It’s okay, they probably wouldn’t want me anyways. Since they need me dead to win a cash prize and all that. As if they need more money when the shoes they’re wearing right now are already more expensive than my entire existence.” Treech smirks. “And if they do want me, then too bad. I don’t want anything to do with them.”

“Why not?”

“Well again, one of them is the son of the guy behind all of my suffering. The other one… he was mean to Panlo. How dare anyone be mean to Panlo?!”

That accidental display of humanity (dismissing someone entirely because “they were mean to my friend”) is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, and finally there’s enough proof for those opposed to the games to grow in numbers and start mass-protesting the day of the games. Some gather in front of the president’s mansion while the rest groups in front of the arena to prevent the games from starting. And it works. I have several snippets of what happens after this but I’ll write those out later. And I’ll write a short post with all the quotes I’ve thought up for this AU. Eventually. For fun.

[siobhanroygirl]

finished ugly betty tonight i am completely normal and not in need of psychological help rn

thoughts under the cut

i am obviously so sad that everything was so rushed— the final episode felt like it could’ve been 10 episodes by betty standards AND I SOOOO wish it was. the betty and daniel slow romantic development would’ve been absolutely amazing to watch and its such a shame we never will get to see it, plus i think willie going back to connor was stupid and also no closure on tyler and clare BUUUUT that being said. despite it being horrifyingly rushed i literally think its the perfect ending

amanda reconciliation with her adoptive parents, finding her real dad, becoming a stylist and going single and ditching emotionally unavailable men (sidenote if we get a revival she should kiss more women)

marc getting an important promotion, dealing with the trauma of being rejected and abandoned by his mother for his sexuality, healing his inner child through justin and finding love-ish and recognizing his flaws

willie getting mode AS SHE FUCKING DESERVES!!!!! redemption arc, and she has marc by her side and everything is right❣️ wish we couldve seen a reconciliation with nico and renee though

hilda married and moving away from home finally! coming completely full circle from season 1 and losing santos. also wish we could see her working again maybe (i dont think we even know what bobby does for a living 😭)

justin having his times respected and understood, finding support in his family and marc. i love him so bad

ignacio happy and finally seeing his girls grown up and leaving home ❣️ i loved loved loved how he compared his journey as an immigrant and betty’s. this man is on the top 3 fictional fathers ever im sooo serious

daniel !!!!!! leaving mode !!!!! forgiving his mother, leaving behind stupid flings and trying to build his life on something HE worked on, changing completely from season 1, following betty, his heart. betty who saw everything that was wrong with him and still decided to stay and see the good 😭😭😭😭 then daniel calling her the sun, admiring her while also admitting he’s intimidated by her, protecting her, complimenting her, being a complete ass and realizing it AND CHANGING IT for her. realizing the way to love her is to let her go but not being able to look at her while doing it bc he cant if he does 😭😭😭😭 and then moving across the world to see her, going from boss to assistant with her who has changed him fundamentally and shown him what true love is i could actually die sorry the heterosexuals got me so bad with these two

betty following her dreams!!!!!!!!!!! betty working on something she’s truly passionate about!!!!!!! choosing what SHE WANTS INSTEAD OF TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!!!! putting herself first!!!!!! being her own boss, standing up for herself, no more prioritizing others. leaving henry symbolizing that the old betty is gone, she loves who she was and she needed her to become this betty, but she’s different now. finding daniel when she’s changed but still the same in a way, still a spot in her heart for him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 she will always have him back and she missed him 😭😭😭😭 she needs a new assistant 😭😭😭 IM GONNA KILL MYSELF

daniel and betty together in london as completely different people and in completely opposite positions from season 1 but still gravitating towards each other, reaching and finding each other in the midst of all this change because they know each other more than they know themselves like im sorry they are soulmates oh my god [dies a thousand deaths]

anyway i love this show so damn much jesus. with like 7 more episodes this ending could’ve developed so beautifully but im fr happy with how things turned out? ofc somethings i’d change like daniel burning the resignation form and calling her an “investment” (kind of makes sense in the context of the episode/arc because it was all about regressing to oldselves before changing but damn we didnt even get a proper apology from him, again probably for time reasons), but yeah in terms of where the characters should be @ this was honestly ideal to me.

i love this silly little problematic ass show and i never wanted it to end. betty is so dear to me and i will always carry her around inside of me my entire life, her bond with daniel is so special, wilhelmina is my queen and i live to serve her, marc and amanda are like my entire inner monologue at this point. ugly betty in general is so special to me and i never thought i would become so horribly attached to it. it was problematic as hell a lot of the times and handled others with so much love and care. it has so much heart. so, so much heart. i’ll love this show forever

[softguarnere]

never really done a ship request before, so bear with me. we're branching out into the unknown here. (i'd say new year new me but it's not a new year for me, i've just elected to go hogwild.)

let's get into it i guess.

i'm Very Short. my god, it's an actual injustice, and if there's a god, when i die we are going to have Words. i think i'm even shorter than perco, which, Yikes.

i've got pretty broad shoulders and despite being Tiny i'm weirdly strong. (i was volunteering the other week and lifted So Many crates, freaking out everyone in the process. i guess i look like i have the strength and fortitude of flat stanley.)

i guess i'm conventionally attractive? i personally think i look like an idiot, but apparently i'm somewhere between a golden age hollywood actor and a small woodland creature. don't ask me how this works, because i don't understand it myself. (the woodland creature looks are definitely there though, my parents used to call me bambi as a kid because i was clumsy and had big brown eyes.)

in any case, people have allegedly flirted with me, so that's something. i say allegedly because i thought they were just being nice, and i doubt anyone would flirt with me. if they are, one: they're crazy, and two: i'm certainly not going to pick up on it.

personality wise, i think short man syndrome is stupid but i am absolutely filled with rage. or, as politely put on report cards in school, i'm very "passionate." it did not take me long to find out that by passionate they meant "mildly annoying and weirdly opinionated." *sigh*

(that being said, having passion about a subject/knowing what they're doing is by far the hottest trait in a person. i once made out with someone because they went on a ten minute rant about the psychology of a campbell's soup ad.)

despite the inner rage, i am almost always the calmest in the group. (i am large, i contain multitudes, etc. also, repression!) i'm very much a parent friend. i Always carry bandaids, cough drops, neosporin, ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and a tiny screwdriver. it never hurts to be prepared, and someone always needs something. also, i feel like it shows that i care. i'm big on keeping snacks and extra food in case friends are over (and i keep note of who likes what)

i hate pretentious people, but i also hate ignorant people and any version of anti-intellectualism. i find it completely impossible to date anyone who isn't at least a little smart (book smart, street smart, smart in terms of creativity, it doesn't matter, i just need proof you've got a brain).

never really found that liking the same things is conducive to a good relationship. my mom's always said that having a good relationship isn't about liking the same things, but about hating the same things, and by god is she right.

hope i did this right! you're absolutely fantastic, keep up the good work :-)

Anon, your vibes are immaculate, and I honestly had a very hard time deciding who to ship you with. Every time I started to write this, I would change my mind about who I was going to pair you with, and I really really hope that this turned out okay 😅And thank you so much for the compliment 🥰

I ship you with . . .

Joe Toye!

Listen, it's gotta come down to the passion for me. Y'all probably initially hit it off during basic while complaining about something that Sobel did. He just feels angry, but he sees that you're able to articulate the things he also feels into coherent opinions and he's like "whoa, who is this?" Meanwhile you see his fire and think the same thing. You start talking and recognize something in the other that's similar to something in yourself and boom! The rest is history (Literally the embodiment of that Wuthering Heights quote that's like, "Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same" imo)

When he first takes an interest in you, he probably thinks that he's got to watch out for you because of your size. But after watching you during PT and seeing how strong you are he's like "damn, maybe I'm the one who needs someone to watch out for me" lol

Don't worry about not picking up on him flirting with you at first. He's so direct, he probably just tells you that he's into you the second he figures it out, because why wait and beat around the bush and make it all confusing like everyone else does? There's a war going on, no one's got that kind of time

He knows that you like smart people, which he assumes means book smart. That makes him kind of insecure since he didn't finish high school. But when he finds out that you like street smarts . . . oh boy. Is he ever gonna show that off for you, especially when he's had a few drinks and is a little more confident than usual

Even if you're both super passionate about the same things, he still just feels really calm around you. At some point he realizes that you sometimes repress your emotions, and he learns to set his own aside and assume the Dad Friend™️ position for a second so that you can let loose. Instead of "hold my beer" he's just like "GO WILD BABE! EXPRESS YOURSELF!!"

You always seem to have what everyone needs, but what do you need? He is an acts of service man, so Joe would make it a point of figuring out the things that you like and making sure that he has them on hand so that you can also enjoy yourself when you guys are out with friends. He wants you to know that you're also cared for, and what better way to show you that he cares than by doing it the same way that you do for other people?

If you're into physical touch, sometimes he just holds you, especially if you're feeling angry and want to calm down. Which is great, because who wouldn't want to be held by Joe Toye? Jealous of you ;)

Anon, I really hope I did ya justice. Thanks for the request, and I hope you like this 💕🕊️

[stevethehairington]

💭📚for the fic writer ask game?

riaaa ty for the ask!!

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

honestly anything and everything does! i've pulled inspiration from just about everything you can think of - other shows/movies/books, posts i see, stories people tell me, something i hear someone say, things that have happened to me personally, poetry i read, songs i listen to, random objects i see out in the wild, things i'm feeling.

all i need is something that sends a spark into my brain and then i'm off.

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

ooh, okay i looove reccing fics and writers so this is a great one. however, i feel like most of the writers that i would normally rec are our friends or writers i know you've already heard of lol, sooooo i will give a couple of fics this time instead!

first up:

someone else's favorite song by @fastcardotmp3

i am currently about halfway through this one and it is absolutely gorgeous. a beautiful exploration of grief and friendship and love and what that all means when it gets tangled up and the edges start to blur. literally anything by dot is a masterpiece and this one is no exception to that!!

heed the ominous warning of talking heads by audacity_of_bluejays

this one was SO good omg. i know you're picky about your time travel lol so before you see that tag and go hm not gonna chance it, it's important that you know that it's not really time travel per se? it's more like steve gets transported to an alternate universe that exists because he made one decision instead of another at a previous point in time to show him how his life would be if he actually does that. and he has to like figure out how to get back to his own universe so he can make sure this one doesn't happen for him. it's a really good one and the platonic stobin in this one is also sososooo good, they are ride or die in any universe in any circumstance and that's so nice to see here.

your cosmic call sign by @nancywheeeler

okay i know i recced this one on the server already after i finished reading it but im reccing it again bc holy fuck it's so good and i love it so much. the vibes in this one are off the charts. it's got sci-fi, it's got bowie, it's got radio dj eddie, it's got a homemade documentary, it's got aliens, it's got everything. oh and the format of the fic is SO cool, like it's got radio show excerpts and newspaper article pieces and things like that interspersed through the actual story that add SO much and it's just so awesome and so creative. also the fact that super 8 (aka my favorite movie) is mentioned in the beginning authors note is just. an automatic win for this fic bc that movie is my favorite and it is so underrated and the fact that it was an inspiration for this fic is everything to me sdkfs.

hours and hours by @steddiesupportgroup

i read this one a while ago but it has been on my mind sooo much the past few days lol. it's a pwp lmfao, bc what is friendship if not reccing pwp's to each other right? but yeah it's got a lot going on but never in a way that makes it feel overwhelming as a reader, and it all melds together very well. it's heady, it's languid yet purposeful, it's passionate, it's fun, it's full of care. a very very good read!!

noise by @viagoh

i'm sure nico is probably tired of seeing my name pop up in their notifications but i cannot not gush about all of their stuff. their art is everything to me but this fic!! this fic is sooo good and sooo beautifully written!! a glimpse at steve and eddie's relationship and a brief exploration of steve's parents and what they meant to him. a trip down memory lane but in a way that's sort of bittersweet. tw for some memory loss but it's more of an allusion to it, like it's not quiiiiite happening yet but it's something that will happen later down the line. but yeah, the characterization in this one is just sooo spot on and i love the way that steve and eddie's dynamic was written here, it's so good.

fanfic writer ask game

[smartzelda]

Blorbo bingo go!

Autor (he counts he's the one your most attached too in the show. I KNOW YOU.)

Mikami

Prompto

Dib

Ienzo/Zexion (throwing him on here cuz you really were an Ienzo apologist for like a solid year buddy.)

Okay so for the good of everyone I've decided to put my answers under the cut because you *know* I can't shut up

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Autor:

Okay you know what? That's fair. That's true. I was attached to him BEFORE I knew he was gonna be important. He was the most (side) character of all time to me

Boy sometimes your blorbo is a funky side character who just WANTS TO READ HIS BOOKS IN PEACE IN THE LIBRARY, DAMMIT

(And uh also stalk the pretty boy who comes by to search all the fairytales who you just so happen to be uper jealous of because he gets to live the topic of your special interest)

But he's idk he's more of a voice of reason for other characters, especially early on, but he's also definitely passionate. Somewhere between sensible and will do anything kinda guy. It's almost surprising he hasn't killed a man yet.

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Mikami:

*GASP* HIM

I ADORE HIM

Okay I'm aware I'm going to have to explain myself a little

The feral square refers solely to the fact that he gets very much feral when he's passionate about something or generally *really* feeling an emotion. I think how he acts when he writes names in the death note + is noticed by Kira and during the entire yellow box scene (at least in the anime) is proof enough

I will not be explaining the Autism™ square. If you can't get it then 🤷 All you need to know is that even though it's not technically canon it means so much to me that this absolutely factors into his childhood and how things happened to him

Haha you know he's my favorite I couldn't hide it if I tried

He's my pathetic meow meow because he's a serial killer and he dies so tragically and just...sad. He's pathetic and committed atrocities and I love him

Let's be clear, when his mind is at it's clearest, he *is* the voice of reason. And yes this cam be true despite the murder. He has a strong black and white idea of right and wrong, and if he thinks something is wrong he cannot be swayed. It's probably only around Light those reasoning skills dwindle

Technically accidental parental figure is movie canon. I may not have watched the Japanese death note live action movies yet, but by god I live for Teru Mikami adopting Hikari Yagami. Now, of course I'm disappointed from what I know about how that specific plot works and how the movies handle Mikami, but...it's better for the brain if I think about Mikami adopting Light's son and pretending the rest of the plot surrounding that doesn't exist.

By god he needs it so bad. I think most people think he just needs it because he's "insane", likely evidenced by how he acts in the yellow box scene or when writing names, but it’s so much more than "oh, he needs therapy because he's crazy". No, dudes. He's *traumatized* traumatized. I'll spare you all most of my essay for now, but if you take a look at how he narrates his own backstory, it becomes so clear just how messed up a lot of things were, and how some of his feelings on the matter arised after the fact. Teru Mikami, as a middle schooler, did not actually think his mother should die because he asked her to prioritize his own wellbeing and stand down so he wouldn't be bullied. He didn't even begin to think that she must've deserved it and that it was divine justice until she'd died and he had to cope with it. Who he is is such a mix of all the trauma he endured by the bullying and uh harrassment (an understatement), having an absent parent, definitely being neurodivergent, trying to solidify clear differences between right and wrong, being orphaned as a young boy and having to cope with his mother's death, and just...god. Like, come on. There's no way that deciding his dear mother must've deserved death and *that's* why she died along with his bullies, turning from defending the weak to taking out "the bad people", and deciding that he's god's poor meow meow and *that's* why all this is happening because he's "chosen" aren't at least partly coping mechanisms of some sort. Okay, okay. I'll spare you all the full essay

Do I even need to say it? I need to be him now absolutely now. Pretty man with longer hair in trench coat and ah

I mostly marked the muse one for the "haha he's god's poor meow meow" joke but also god I have so much fic I need to write for this man

There's nothing like having identity crisis (in terms of neurodovergence) because you relate too well to a character who is absolutely not neurotypical and dealt with largely similar social problems (minus most of the harassment) to you while also being an intelligent overthinker haha

I don't 100% know why I marked this but it is not derogatory. Does he have a super tragic and traumatic backstory? Check. Is he also literally built to be god's perfect number one follower? Yes. My man looks good and neat, he washes regularly, he can cook, he started working out, he literally thinks he's god's poor meow meow, and he happens to think very very similar to Light so he does get praise. Like of course it implies he worked for most of what he had but by god man he's basically perfect? Like if I was Light I'd malewife him here and now. His life also went coincidentally so just so he *could* see himself and actually become god's poor little meow meow

There are so many reasons to be feral about Teru Mikami

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Prompto:

Aaaa I haven't talked about him in a while but god I love him

I need to preface this by saying I only marked angst machine because he is a secret angst machine. Once you get more of his character it just starts leaking out until the dam bursts, man

He is like, quite literally that character who is happy go lucky and a sunshine boy and he's the protag's best friend and everything is great, right? Right??

Wrong. He struggles heavily with body image and fatphobia, his outgoing sunshine personality began as a cover so he'd be more appealing, he feels like a living lie for so many reasons (given that there's a blurred thin line between what of his personality is actually him and what's a curated mask, he pretended he wasn't who he was as a kid thinking Noctis would find him more appealing as he is now, he keeps most of his real thoughts and feelings and insecurities inside because he's afraid to burden them, he feels like an outsider in his own friend group because Noctis is the prince and Gladio and Ignis are connected to that, meanwhile he's just some commoner, and he's not only secretly *from* the empire Noctis's kingdom is at war with, but also was born to become I believe the energy source for the empire's robot soldiers (ik what they're really called don't worry about it)), and he even has an identity crisis! *slaps head of boy* You can fit so much trauma into it! Oh, and also it's implied that his adoptive parents are basically never around and that he's not sure if they care about him so

He needs therapy so bad

He also needs a kiss from his best friend as a treat. It wouldn't fix him but it sure would help

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Dib:

Hehehehehehehhehehehehehehe

God I miss him

I am

Mmmmmm

I am literally vibrating okay ah so many thoughts whirring around the brain

I hope what this gets across is that he's an absolute bastard who really has an abnormal threshold for "just a normal Tuesday" and an interesting set of morals. He's a feelings denier, he's absolutely traumatized by all the shit in his life (what, from everything with Zim to going through literal torture to being basically locked in an insane asylum as a child to no one, even his father, ever believing him, to just trying to please a father who's never around and never seems to actually be proud of him, to the best friends he's ever had being another kid who's also probably heavily traumatized and is basically his stalker and well Zim). Whether canon or in aged up fanon this boy is messed up and traumatized, neurodivergent, self sacrificial, easily angered, passionate, and bad at feelings.

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Ienzo/Zexion:

Hey HEY

I'm actually still an apologist thank you very much

Yes he did bad things no matter his circumstances and enjoyed it, and yes I acknowledge he could end up turning on the main cast and betraying them

However also he can do no wrong I love him in fact if he just so happened to uh get rid of Ansem tw I would say he deserves it. He can do whatever he wants

By god I am...too tired to go into it right now but wtf when you did into him just

By god so many things have happened to him. At least the rest of the org were older teens this boy was AN 8 YEAR OLD when he became a nobody. Think about that. You're an orphan kid who's practically adopted by the local king and the stern cold man of science. The former is "the fun dad", which means he uses you as an excuse to get his favorite icecream. He doesn't actually hang out with you because he wants to hang with you and doesn't seem to do most of the real parenting. The former cares about his science projects above all, and while he probably does all the parenting work he's far from warm and caring. And then all the people you live with/your older friends practically dramatically exile your technical adoptive parent and convince you that he deserved it, and then coerce you into you know literally having your heart pierced so you can divorce your heart from your body and not have to deal with pesky feelings. So he gets drawn into a literal cult at age 8. And then for the next like eleven years grows up as a nobody/without his heart while being told he's now broken without it and will never be able to truly feel emotion and care, and is also basically raised through these years by said cult made up of his friends and some sketchy people. And then of course he basically dies before coming back to life, and sure he's technically whole but he has complicated feelings about all this and of course now his technically adoptive father is back and just does not acknowledge what he put him through (Ienzo ends up being the one apologizing for everything in front of him as if he's taking the responsibility of it all above himself). I swear he's a ticking time bomb there's no way he can just stay okay with everything that happened to him.

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Anyways, thanks for the ask, Xion! You know how I love essaying on my favs🥰

[kjnwoos]

hi hello! my name is daisy (she/her, 21+, cst) and i’m so excited to be here!! let me introduce you to my boy kwon jinwoo, a 23 year old chef from seoul running away from a career-ending family scandal. under the cut is (probably too much) info on my guy along with some possible connection ideas. give this post a ❤️  if you’d like to plot or feel free to msg me here or on discord @ daisydaisy#5293 . just as a general heads up, i sometimes forget when i need to respond to ppl so please never worry about double messaging/giving our messages a bump if i haven’t replied. i can’t wait to write with you all! 🤠

before we dive into all of that, i do want to say that jinwoo’s backstory/information has a lot to do with chef stuff and also shady business stuff. aka things i do not know a whole lot about. so if any of my information/terms are wrong, sorry in advance! 

GENERAL:

birthday:  july 17, 1998

cancer sun, taurus moon, capricorn rising

born in seoul, sk

family: kwon wooseok (dad), shin minhee (mom), kwon jinyoung (younger brother, age 14)

traits: (pos) thoughtful, courteous, nurturing, open-minded, passionate, (neutral) emotional, reserved, introspective, observant, (neg) standoff-ish, reclusive, insecure, temperamental, judgmental, lavish

career: former executive chef at “simmer”, an upscale modern fusion restaurant in seoul

ABOUT:

traveled a lot as a kid because his parents own “intaste”, a french style gourmet restaurant that started with one location in seoul but now has hundreds across the globe

mom, minhee, was the creative brains behind it all and was the og chef de cuisine at intaste. she then turned it into a business that raked in the money and allowed jinwoo to grow up without wanting a single thing

dad, wooseok, joined intaste as patissier and eventually became cfo of the corporation. he was the money brains behind it all

jinwoo grew up in kitchens and loved every second of it

his family all got along well together, his parents were strict but nothing out of the ordinary. his only wish was to be able to see his parents more often instead of growing up with a nanny

went to the best schools, got decent enough grades, didn’t care much about grades tho as he knew he wanted to be a chef

his little brother jinyoung came around when he was 9 and he couldn’t have loved it anymore

jinwoo is, in general, a pretty loyal dude for everyone but do NOT mess with jinyoung. that is one line he will not allow anyone to cross

after graduating high school, jinwoo went straight on to being a sous chef at the intaste in seoul, not bothering with culinary school or university

worked his way up to chef de cuisine after 4 years, then (much to his parents disapproval) decided to leave and start something new

jinwoo started at simmer, a new modern fusion restaurant that an old buddy from intaste had opened 

in general, the public thought jinwoo was a good chef (he had appeared on some talk shows to promote things and had been in the tabloids since he was young due to the high profile clientele his parents rubbed elbows with)

in general, the food world thought he was over-rated and a nepotism baby

a few months after simmer opened, news broke that jinwoo’s dad had been making really shady deals with politicians and had a bunch of off-shore bank accounts with embezzled funds

jinwoo’s mom called him and told him to take out as much cash as he could and hide it away because he may lose all of his inheritance if he didnt (idk if this could actually happen in real life so uhhh) and to go to a place out of the way to let it all die down

and that’s how he ended up with a moving truck at maehwa, a frown on his face, and a trunk under lock and key stored in the back of his closet

FUN STUFF:

guy is a chain smoker, tbh. likes to open the window in his room, look out at the property and lose track of time by smoking

you can always find him in the kitchen late at night because the man does not know how to go to bed 

(headcanon that jinwoo gets stressed so he cooks and leaves trays of food in the fridge and plates of sweets on the counter that magically pop up in the middle of the night for everyone to enjoy. he gets flustered if someone tries to thank him for them)

his brother encouraged him to journal so he has a bunch of well loved, falling apart journals to write in when he gets frustrated

he likes to stay on his own and doesn’t really open up/talk to people so he has an image of being cold but really, he’s just shy 

super emotional guy who will have emotional outbursts and esp gets loud when he’s cooking and something goes wrong 

pansexual but doesn’t really date or have partners. he doesn’t allow himself to make the time to be romantically involved with anyone (that obvi can and will change when he meets the right people)

doesn’t really wear leisure wear, he normally is in at the least a sweatshirt with jeans

CONNECTIONS:

someone in the house who he can be his one (1) close friend

someone in the house who can not stand him

someone who knew him outside the house (maybe they ran in the same circles in seoul)

someone who found the trunk in his closet and won’t leave him alone until they find out whats inside

someone who knows all about the embezzlement/possibly was affected by it personally

a cooking buddy / someone to stand in the kitchen and cut carrots and peel potatoes with jinwoo, both in silence

someone who wants to learn how to cook

any and all romantic tropes can be applied here, i am up for almost anything 

someone who really tries to get jinwoo out of his comfort zone and fails constantly, but not without annoying jinwoo to high heaven first

a chill buddy, someone to sit outside and drink a beer with late at night