#i need to make a post about it bc. this is really my only outlet and. this is UP there.

[autism-corner]

Contextless posting =w=b

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.25

*just based on my personal observations, only take what resonates

Omg my first degree theory observation was wrong Danial Kwan has moon at 18 degree, a Virgo degree ! (My bad y’all I’m learning). I’ll say that he had to get a hold of his mental health while in Covid and his adult adhd diagnosis and that influenced the writing of everything all at once (Imma learn this lol, more studying must be done)

Ok better degree theory lol, the degree of your Venus and/or mars can show placements you attract. My Venus is at a cancer degree and I’ve dated a l o t of people with Cancer placements (an experience lol)

A guy’s Lilith can show that his sort of femme fatale attraction (type of girl that overstimulates him, makes him feel enamored but is also his weakness.) His Lilith placement can describe this femme in more detail. For Aries, a go getter that takes no shit (I believe @zeldasnotes said Lilith in Aries in a man’s chart is a strong indicator that he’s a feminist and I totally agree.); For Sagittarius she’d be untethered and have a great sense of humor and may be outside of his culture. For Aquarius she’d be idealized as a manic pixie dream girl, like quirky in a way he could never figure out. let me know if you all would like a whole post on this !

Only outer planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) in your 1st can give you an extra ordinary appearance and make you stand out quite a bit.

Your mars conjunct to someone’s sun can make them feel competitive with you. Venus on the other hand can make you put the sun person on a sort of pedestal and can make the relationship feel like you’re a fan of the sun person. Moon to someone’s sun can feel more at home and at ease.

Men with water Venuses seem to be super monogamous or like incapable of monogamy (which is fine lol, but be ethical about it and establish boundaries and don’t cheat yo)

12th house synastry is sticky asl, as soon as you moved on someone just appears on your mind out of nowhere, lotta hidden energy all tied up together; 8th house synastry is really intense but it’s often hard to build something stable out of the intensity. 4th house feels like home, but as someone with Uranus over their 4th, I associate this synastry with being unpredictable and chaotic in familiar way. 5th and 11th house synastry tends to be good long term. 5th house means you feel fun and creative and always excited together. And 11th house will mean that there’s a feeling of friendship underneath the passion that usually sustains the connection imo.

For all of the seriousness associated with Capricorn placements (especially suns) often focus on a lot on whimsy in their creative works, like it’s the outlet for a lot of their hidden optimism (Hayao Miyazaki, Nobuhiko Obayashi the director of Hausu).

Ok ok I know Scorpio risings are known for intense, bedroom eyes and their overwhelming s*x appeal and making suitors flee because they’re so intimidated etc etc… but quietly I think our biggest weapon that people don’t see coming is our sense of humor. (Honest to god I was thinking of how funny Hugh Grant is even though he doesn’t need to be bc he’s been so handsome this whole time lol. He always puts in the effort into that comedic timing) (Also people still think if you’re hot and intense you can’t be funny so it defuses some of the tension pretty well imo)

I feel like Virgo placements always seem to think they feel boring even though they’re like very knowledgeable and compelling in their own right (I’m getting all reflective and remember when like Virgo moons/mars would always ask if they’re being boring or complain about being boring but they tend to be good conversationalists when they allow themselves to analyze things so deeply)

I think cancers are actually the most defensive sign, naturally. I want to say they have this in common with their sister sign bc Capricorns are defensive and don’t like to show “weakness”. But the way that underdeveloped cancers (can) play the victim when scrutinized is different. (Like Capricorns do that earth sign thing where they use their perception to make you feel like you’re wrong, and they want to be seen as the authority not the victim). Where cancer is in your chart could show where you’re especially guarded and trying to protect your sensitivity.

To me Jupiter conjunct south node means you’ll reap benefits of good karma from a past life (or the effects of bad karma will be a lot in this lifetime but I saw this in obama’s chart and it’s a benefic planet so the first thing is what I thought of lol, he’s not a good guy but becoming the first black president of the us seems like a past life power play imo)

[kimbapisnotsushi]

here have a medley of miscellaneous timeskip pro team headcanons bc WOW i haven't posted in a while and this is my only stress outlet other than binging new series <3333

starting off strong with ejp raijin LET'S GOOOOOO

washio 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼suna 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼komori: being EXHAUSTED from carrying the pro team world on their backs

no no i'm kidding. mostly

they keep a tally of other pro team matches in which their former teammates go up against each other and are REALLY smug if their respective teammate wins. which means you get shit like this

komori, cheerfully: "so how about that hornets v falcons game last night, huh?" suna: "oh shut UP tell iizuna tsukasa that aran-san could kick his ass any day of the week you little SHIT - "

they ARE united on the jackals front tho. all three of them want the adlers to go down HARD.

is suna nursing a grudge against ushijima from high school? yeah. is he ever going to get over it? probably not.

only komori feels bad bc he is fond of kageyama, but, hey, family's family

they ask washio why he hates the adlers and he looks them dead in the eyes and goes "hoshiumi kourai . . . he is a man that requires constant vigilance"

actually wait i know we all saw everyone watching and talking about the game (which makes me wanna cry SO bad) but god. how fucking funny would it be if players from monster gen convinced everyone else on their very professional and very mature teams to take sides

ejp raijin captain, who's been friends with hirugami fukurou for like ten years: "okay so explain to me again why we need to blow our entire team budget on jackals merch when we're not even going to the goddamn game?" komori: "well, it started on a cloudy but beautifully crisp spring day in 2012 - "

SPEAKING OF TACHIBANA RED FALCONS

hakuba joins the team, sees aran, and IMMEDIATELY starts texting the old kamomedai group chat

altho tbh i don't think there's no way that the "who-from-where-made-WHAT-pro-team" news never breaches the high school circuit. like come ON you know everyone's keeping up with the third year stars when they graduate

by the time the first years are third years they've got everyone pinned down on a fucking MAP. they have a shared file where they update each other on EVERYTHING. it's way less creepy than it sounds they're just a really passionate bunch okay!!!!

well that AND they can't help but brag about their amazing upperclassmen

okay sorry back to it. so it really goes more like

hakuba: "HOLY SHIT OJIRO ARAN FROM INARIZAKI IS HERE" suwa: "hakuba, we already knew that. i linked the article when it first dropped, remember?" hakuba: "yeah but it's still so WEIRD like it's OJIRO ARAN from INARIZAKI" hoshiumi: "lol atsumu told me he talks in his sleep, go find out if it's true"

aran actually does recognize hakuba mostly because gin paid him a compliment ONE (1) time and then aran had to listen to atsumu complain incessantly about the "stupid wall of muscle with stupid hair and his stupid height and stupid arms" ever since

ALSO. i think people get hakuba and hyakuzawa mixed up a lot. they've both got a similar height and build and hairstyle and play the same position

(not to mention the similar backstories)

it becomes a running joke throughout the pro leagues and makes for a fun time with falcons v warriors matches

in the event of a hyakuhina hookup (which i feel like actually could happen) they somehow get onto the topic of "haha it'd be even harder to tell them apart with your eyes closed!" and hinata, without thinking, goes "well, i probably could" and everyone is like "WHAT"

he digs himself an even deeper hole by saying "no, i just meant - i know hyakuzawa's body really well!!!" and everyone immediately starts screaming

poor hyakuzawa is dying on the inside

i think shibayama (MY BELOVED) kind of occasionally forgets that he also has his own fanbase and is sort of semi-famous as the libero of tokai heavy industries esperanza bc. he knows kenma and yaku and lev and komi and yamamoto and fukunaga and, in general, a bunch of people that he believes are much more well-known than he is

he's always so flattered whenever someone stops him in the street to ask for a pic or when he sees posts online gushing about him

this is extra funny bc he never talks about his friends like they're famous so all of his teammates don't really know that shibayama is friends with all these other famous people

and then one of them, an avid kodzuken fan, spams their group chat when kodzuken's newest video is released and shibayama shows up in it

they're like "SHIBAYAMA!! HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH KODZUKEN??" and shibayama is like "i have?? i talk about kenma-san all the time??" and they're like "YOU'RE TELLING ME KODZUKEN IS THE SAME KENMA-SAN WHO RIPPED HIS HIGH SCHOOL JERSEY TRYING TO JUMP OVER A FENCE???"

(shibayama's second year. they'd been dealing with things. it worked out, in the end. even if they had to lie to nekomata and naoki about why all their jerseys ended up with holes in them.)

i love the pro teams you guys they're so fucking funny

[pat-thecat]

First meetings from Tango's pov... (I'm not much of a writer but I wanted to try it :3, sorry if its not good...)

-----

Tango wouldnt say he was oblivious, sure he sometimes missed some important gossip and some PR announcements but to be fair his work is the car. He couldn't care less for some random gossip or stuff from the PR people, his work is making the car better and he is a simple mechanic, no one to be in front of cameras.

Thats why when conversations about a driver move to Williams came up on the racing community, he payed no mind to them. Tango knew some name was circulating around, but again he really didnt care about it, gossip was common and nothing he is interesting in, can some people call him ignorant? That he didnt even noticed news outlets posting about it or watched his team principal's interviews? Yes, some people can call him that, however he still thinks he isnt oblivious, obviously he will know when a driver moves to his team, he isnt dumb.

Even his good friend Impulse, asks him what his opinion about Solidarity's move to Williams, which takes him by surprise bc if he's not mistaken no one at the team knows who will be the new driver and wasnt Solidarity a Redbull driver? That's what he says to Impulse and that honestly even if he knew, his friend is still on a different team. (Impulse looks at him like he doesnt believe it)

Later, much for Impulse amusement, Tango only discovers that Solidarity would race for Williams after a PR colleague says it straight on his face, apparently it was neither speculation nor a secret on the factory.

And the fact he somehow missed multiple times the presence of the driver in the factory, thats stays only between him and his colleague.

----

Tango wouldnt say he was that oblivious, of course he now knew Jimmy Solidarity was going to race for William's this season, but it still takes him by surprise when the driver approaches him with two cups of coffee.

"Here, you look like you need some" he says extending one cup to him

The mechanic feels a little taken away by the gesture, and doesnt know what to say. He never thought a driver would do this, he must be mistaken and that's not for him. So he just stares in shock to the said driver.

After some time of silence Solidarity slightly gestures to his extended hand and Tango finally gets the memo that yes, it's for him.

Tango takes the cup and takes a sip, unsurprisingly the coffee isnt exactly like he likes but even so it astonish him that it's close enough. "Thanks", he says softly with a small smile to Solidarity, the driver just smiles in return and leaves, probably to analyse some data.

Even as time continues Tango continues stunned with the small random interaction, till Hunter, one of his colleagues who was watching the exchange, tells him that it was very known that Solidarity was really friendly to every team member and since joining the team he had been randomly interacting with everyone.

Tango then concludes that maybe he is a bit oblivious because there's no way he never noticed the driver interacting with is colleagues.

But surely this was gonna be a one time thing, he was a simple mechanic and there was no way the driver truly cared of him.

Little did he know that Jimmy asked around how the pretty blonde mechanic that worked the whole morning liked his coffee.

-----

This was not beta read and I probably can write more in the future. Since I often do alot of mistakes I'm always shy to post something.... if anyone is interested in beta reading my little drabbles please message me! I would appreciate alot but please dont feel pressured to do it! :D

[thieves-in-the-palace]

jumps into ur ask box hello. hi. what are ur ng+ time loop thoughtz

god i have. a lot of thoughts about ng+ time loops in general. in relation to this post tho i specifically have Some Thoughts about Akira going through the loops trying to figure out why he's stuck there, how to get out, etc and also having to contend with Akechi dying every time but also like…the inevitable emotional cycles that come with watching the same guy die over and over.

✧ "Who is more unlucky here? The one who will die every time but never remember? Or the one who will live every time and always remember?" –> "Me. I'm the more unlucky one. What's this dude's fucking problem" –> "What's MY fucking problem? Why does this keep happening to me? Why doesn't anyone else remember? Why can't I escape this? Why does Akechi have to die every time??" –> "What's this dude's FUCKING problem–"

✧ does it count as a parasocial relationship if you know the guy irl and also it's based on the weird sense of kinship that comes with being doomed to repeatedly live through the same year over and over while he's doomed to die every time. hand in hand they are BOTH doomed baybee

✧ You know how Akechi is often portrayed as having Death Note-esque internal monologues when interacting with Akira? That but Akira is having his own wildly different internal monologue that sounds a lot like "okay you shit idiot. what's it gonna take to keep you from dying"

✧ The rest of the Thieves are surprised when Akira doesn't seem to react to Akechi's death, but they figure he's trying to keep it together for the sake of the mission. Truly tho Akira is mentally cussing Akechi out and lamenting the fact they're gonna have to fight god again soon. rip lawboy you would've loved fighting ol' yaldy

✧ Futaba hacks Akira's phone (for enrichment) and sees his most recent google search "is it bad to stop feeling bad after the 15th time you watch the same person die or are you allowed to start getting annoyed about it" – maybe he's going through something similar to what she went through w/ her mom? She starts prodding him about his past, but it doesn't really get her anywhere…

(If u want to get even more into Game-Based Reality Nonsense u could even say that Futaba can't find anything on Akira aside from his criminal record. No hospital records, no school info, no nothing. It's like the guy didn't even exist before the day he got arrested. Akira might not have any answers either, which, u know, doesn't help with the mental strain caused by being stuck in a time loop. Does he even exist outside of the loop? If the loop ended, would he disappear with it? etc etc)

✧ At the beginning of each loop, Akira makes a list of things that might break the time loop, updating it as needed. "Akechi survives" is at the top of the list every time bc it's one of the only things that never happens.

✧ Akira just generally having a slightly shorter temper w/ Akechi bc truly. How do u go through this sort of ordeal w/o wanting to rattle him like a maraca after a point. He won't hesitate to call Akechi cringe when the guy leans too heavily on his Pleasant Lawboy™ persona.

They wind up sparring in Mementos more frequently bc this Akira is more willing to entertain Akechi's bloodlust; fighting is a good outlet for Akira's own frustrations. Akechi keeps getting more and more annoyed each time tho bc why tf can this attic trash keep up with him? How is he predicting Akechi's attacks so well? (Akechi's going to start spitting fire if he ever finds out Akira has been holding back during their fights lmao. Akira can easily trounce him in 1v1 since like…3 loops ago?)

✧ Akira spending so much time annoyed and even furious w/ Akechi for not having enough self-preservation to survive even one loop only to ultimately circle right back into The Guilt + Sorrow bc god, all this time and he still can't figure out how to keep this fuckhead alive?

And it IS guilt Akira feels, unfortunately. Makoto and Futaba were both antagonistic towards the Phantom Thieves at first, too. Just spending some time with them was enough to reveal how getting screwed over by adults guided their actions; it doesn't absolve them of threatening the group, but it makes them easier to forgive.

Akira wonders, sometimes, if he's too quick to forgive Akechi. He's killed people, and he claims to be perfectly okay with being a murderer so long as it means he can reach his goals. But Akechi is a liar all the way down, too, because a cold-hearted killer wouldn't sacrifice himself for his enemies. He wouldn't give up his only shot at vengeance so easily after going through years of hell to achieve it. Yet Akechi still dies in that boiler room every time. Akechi never truly hates Akira, and Akira can't quite bring himself to ever truly hate Akechi, either.

But then Akira sees Akechi alive and well and smiling for the camera in the next loop, and he gets the abrupt urge to lay the guy out.

✧ "I want you to live. I also never want to see you again."

✧ And all of this is w/o getting into P5R's third semester hijinks. Akira thinking he's finally escaped the time loop only to realize that something Worse is happening now.

And Akechi is still there, because of fucking course he is–

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

Was browsing through early BOBF/Mando S3 criticisms on Tumblr and WOW, 93% of S2’s viewership dropped when S3 finished airing for an extremely understandable reason. As someone who got into Dinluke after all the dust settled I can only imagine what it was like becoming invested in Din’s story and being floored by the S2 finale only for it to get totally swerve-balled after a long-anticipated wait. How did you avoid the disappointment and burnout?

Spite is an incredibly powerful motivator, let me tell you.

I'm halfway joking about that, btw. I could say I'm used to disappointment and I also worked really hard not to take things too personally after being disappointed time and again year after year by fandoms I was in. Imo the healthiest attitude is that no show/movie/book/videogames/etc will ever play out the way you want/think it should so take what you can get and trash the rest. By the time I started watching The Mandalorian, I'd been burnt badly by Star Trek AOS, the Sequel Trilogy, the MCU, and the Disney machine, and I had to figure out how to accept that I like what I like, I can't change what I can't change, and I can/will run the fuck off with what I can change, which is making wildly fun and fulfilling transformative shit like fanfics and fanart.

I was actually excited about TBOBF and was utterly betrayed by the executive decision to throw him and Fennec to the side in order to absolutely trash the Season 2 finale of the Mando Show by having Din and Grogu reunite just like that. I guess I got lucky in that I had a long-running fic series that I was heavily invested in and I was not about to let Disney stop me from finishing it. Instead of letting my frustrations kill my interest in the show and fandom, I turned it into motivation to keep telling the story I wanted to tell based on the fallout of Season 2. It also helped that Andor happened.

I quit Season 3 of the Mando Show after the 1st episode and it was the best decision I ever made. I had a really rough time with it and was encouraged to step away if it was giving me too much stress. I'm glad for that. Less time and energy picking about Filoni&Favreau and Disney Lucasfilm's decisions and disappointments, more time and energy spent writing and drawing the dinluke I want to see. The nice thing about Star Wars is that it is an old and vast sandbox. Plenty of room here to build whatever sandcastles and dig however many holes you want while canon goes floundering by.

I think also that it really helped to find spaces to share with people who vibe on the same wavelength, so I'm not alone to my thoughts and spiraling myself out of a fandom I enjoyed (like what happened with TLJ but I shan't go there bc this response is long enough). Those posts about having friends you can shit-talk things with? Valid af. You need outlets to vent your grievances without setting bridges on fire, and it'll help your enjoyment of things in the long run.

I didn't avoid the disappointment but I figured out how to make something of it, so I'm still writing dinluke, I'm still drawing dinluke, I'm still getting giddy over dinluke. I actively choose to do what I want with them, and nothing Disney Lucasfilm puts out is ever going to stop me.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

top 5 wips you’re most excited to write? :D

AH …. anon my beloved 🥺🥺🥺 tysm for giving me an excuse to talk about them!!!! i have a whole bunch but here are the ones i’m most excited for/planning to write soon :3 hopefully

TITLES ARE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION BTW but if you know where any of them are from you get a big gold star ⭐️

it’s your touch that i need

the best friend’s brother!satoru fic that i’m planning on posting next….. i’m . Unsure if i’ll have time to post it this week but :’3 i’ll get it done!!! honestly i just think bfb!toru is insanely attractive so this is mostly an outlet for that but . i have a plot mapped out kind of… the unrequited love trope is just perfect for him but it’s Me so it’ll probably be less angsty and more funny/bittersweet !!

here’s a snippet from it <3

”you’re a good kid,” he says, and his smile teeters on the edge of something apologetic. mostly, it’s pitying. ”there are lots of people out there for you.” the weight of his palm on your head is usually a comfort, but like this? it’s a specific kind of torture. he ruffles your hair, as affectionate as ever, the same as it’s always been. not a trace of any romantic intent. there are lots of people out there for you. (i know, you want to tell him, but your voice is raspy and your throat feels sort of dry. i know. but i want you.)

hunter, you were human

my neglected mer!sugu fic…… our beloved fish man….. one day. i’ll write it out. i’m having some trouble deciding the order of events + general formatting of the outline so 😭😭 i’m a bit stuck. i’ll get there though!!! this au has angst potential but it’s Me so trust that this will be fluffy and nothing else. lots of banter and cutesy moments. i have a lotttt of thoughts about this au and character/reader dynamic so….. i’m. really excited to eventually write it all out!!! i love him sm :cc

“i don’t really like freshwater.” … your eyes widen. his voice is silky, smooth, like a silver river running from the forked tip of his tongue; a melodic lilt that makes you think of the lullaby your mother used to sing you to sleep with. a long, slow moment passes you by, like the rocking of a rusty ship. silently, your tongue forms around a bundle of words, your mouth gaping like a fish out of water. staring at the merman in your bathtub. “you can talk?!”

consider the hairpin turn

THE BELOVEDEST OF THEM ALL …… my extremely neglected best friend’s brother!kenjaku fic T_T my magnum opus even . i started writing it out a while ago but had to stop bc i can’t decide how to format it …. i think it’d be best to tell the story through a lot of flashbacks but it’s difficult to decide where to put what flashbacks in a way that doesn’t disturb the flow, yk??? but i do have everything outlined and i’m super excited to finally post it :33 someday… bfb!kenny is the actual loml i have so much lore planned for him. this fic is just a whole bunch of yearning and tension… the tiniest tiniest bit suggestive bc he truly makes me ill.

nervously, your gaze trails towards the stairs. worried, your teeth gnawing at your bottom lip. kenjaku notices. a large palm cradles your cheek; making sure your eyes stay locked onto his own. ”don't worry about him,” he soothes, a rough thumb smoothing down your skin. ”it’s just us here… just you and me. why don’t you take a deep breath for me, hm?” (you do. without thinking. as if your body was waiting for instructions, waiting to satiate this gnawing desire to impress him, make him proud. be good for him.)  “now,” he exhales, in tandem with you, molecules mingling together. “do you want this?” 

only in the next world

ANOTHER DEARLY BELOVED WIP that’s been rotting in my drafts for a while ….. 👉👈 i think that out of all of these fics this is the first one that i wrote the outline to?? probably even before i made this blog. it’s basically just a canon-aligned au where gojo navigates his maybe-possibly-feelings for you, a new teacher at jujutsu high!! sooo really just my attempt to write what i view as a more canon-aligned gojo and his feelings towards love :3 mostly character-centered fluff and slowburn… some office au vibes…. i’m very fond of this reader!! and i love this version of gojo so bad i really hope i can do him justice…

“they’re a softie, huh?” shoko exhales — smoke drifting past her lungs, mingling with the cold air, a stench of tobacco that makes him crinkle his nose. ”they are,” she hums, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. a dangerously knowing look. “it’s not often someone captures your attention.” gojo smiles. ”is that what it seems like?” he drawls, almost a chuckle. closing his eyes and thinking of you, the fading scent of your perfume. ”well, who knows.” (certainly not him.)

signs of affection

my sickeningly fluffy cult leader geto fic <333 bc i’m spreading the agenda that he is a puppy of a man towards his s/o. this one is just meant to be funny and sweet!! i adoreee the thought of him dating a retired sorcerer with a normal ass job so in this one the reader works at a preschool…. and they’re meant to attend some kind of event for the preschool + is offered to bring a plus one. mild chaos ensues (geto doesn’t want to be anywhere near your non-sorcerer colleagues but he also wants to support you so he’s having a bit of a crisis rn…..) i LOVE this one and i’m so excited to write it out <333333 i think this geto is the most endearing man alive.

suguru blinks, eyelashes fluttering, gleaming under the shallow light of the lamppost just behind him. illuminating the peach-dyed flush dusting his ears, those wide pupils. and his lips, glossy with something cherry-flavoured, soon to curl up into a smile — fond, fond, fond. melting into your touch, basking in your long-sought attention. if he were a cat, you’re sure he'd be purring. he places one big palm over yours, where it rests on his cheek, and he stares. silently, like you’re the only thing worth seeing; dreamy galaxies inside his eyes, all honey and star clusters, leaking adoration. a milky way of love. ”… another,” he pleads, nosing at your fingertips.

[jungwondazed]

Ur last post about jungwon teasing you BRO... and the fact that he used the word 삐지다 just makes it even more gjdhdhfhdh bc even though 삐지다 is commonly used in korean while sulk or pout are not overly common used english words, you really only use 삐지다 in really close relationships most often by couples or parent and child bc it has an endearing and cute connotation hhhhhh

he would definitely be the type to purposefully ruffle your feathers a bit bc he finds it amusing when u get riled up and then go 아이구 삐졌어?/우리 애기 삐졌구나 (aigoo.. are you upset 🥺?/my baby's upset~~) and coo and fuss over you like he didn't start it himself (I realize u might not *get* it 100% if u don't know korean but I just needed an outlet bc I think about this ALL THE TIMEEEE)

- 🤍

HE IS SOOOOOOOOFSJKDHFJSHF no like he genuinely drives me crazy i need to date him i wanna be teased by him he's such a good tease

god him cooing over you and babying you is so cute it's so like him!! he likes when you pout and get "upset" because it gives him a chance to touch you everywhere, asking you over and over again if you're still mad at him with a grin on his face the whole time <3

i wanna be sulky for wonnie ):

[kijosakka]

dramaturgy; celebrity manhunt, pre-london -- im going to make it easy on myself and skim through pre-london first, as the most divergence in this AU happens during and after the fact. part of pre-london is the pre-season itself, the celebrity manhunt special.

so action comes and goes, noah gets out of the season and remains as chris’ PA for the year break. in that time, months before it actually happens, chris finds out about the new season (with producer word both pushing for ‘more drama/engagement’ or smth along those lines, and *noahs actual involvement this time).

while something something contracts might prevent him from just outright telling noah, i’d imagine that he’d all but say there’s going to be a new season and heavily imply that noah wont be able to get out of it this time. not only that but he also implies that maybe noah should give opening up to people on the show a chance,, cause, yk, hes about to be stuck on a jet with them,, for weeks,,

of course, noah is pissed at first. but in so many weeks or whatever he begrudgingly accepts it and just resolves to throw it like usual. as for the ‘opening up to people’, he lands on owen.

owen was nice enough, genuine to a fault and the person least likely to use any of noahs bare slivers of vulnerability against him. hes safe.

[*noahs involvement within the show as something that the viewers are very interested in. he could be ratings gold and they know it.]

now im a little bit torn over the whole ‘chris’ assistant’ bit; similar to the awakeathon i would imagine it might just be missing entirely and he would be fired before the fact. or it could happen, as a way to give his on-screen character some information. as a ‘look everyone, i have Depth. stop prying into my life please’

either way, whatever. *total drama dirtbags show up, chris locks them out of the venue, they dont win any awards, bus chase etc.

^ note here, per usual noah comes off as his usual uncanny self around the cast. sierra is there as well, im sure thats Something for her. however he does take notice of one (1) alejandro burromuerto, recognizing him and focusing on him. < this comes back during introductions, where he notes his behavior towards the cast.

[*total drama dirtbags existed as the original ‘new TD season’ that noah found out about and worked on for a little bit before he finds out that it was not in fact a real show and a coverup for something else (a grab for an extra contestant for WT) < hence, he knows josé from interviews/auditions he helped with, but doesn’t know alejandro since he decided one brother was Enough]

^ and just for extra clarity on the TDD thing bc ive kind of muddled it, say noah finds out about dirtbags, helps out whatever. and then the news breaks that its a fake phish for a new contestant for an actual show — fine enough, he’s already behind the cameras, so he can just stay there, right?

no, actually. its kinda just slung at him that he has to be part of the cast (smth smth his job is threatened under ‘contractual obligation’ like its not wildly unconscionable). and he is soooo pissed off, so incredibly angry at the circumstances he’s landed himself in somehow.

< but he is aware that he cant just bottle everything up because it will spill over; chris said he needs something to his character, so maybe he can funnel his anger into playing the game a little more. as the most outlet he’ll get before he can throw it and just be done with the show entirely.

^ and then,,, alejandro.

while the actual events of pre-london remain largely unchanged, his dynamics are changed with the presence of four different variables: alejandro, izzy, owen, and sierra.

alejandro i’ll get into more later with a longer post detailing what they think of each other mutually, but im gna touch on alejandro a little; with picking off team victory and believing heather is the only person who’s noticed his facade, he just,, doesnt really distinguish noah as a threat worthy of focusing on.

^ throughout the game and the events of, he does single noah out as the most tolerable of all his teammates but doesnt offer much intrigue beyond that until *new york. (to note, he’s a lot more comfortable with [oblivious to??] noahs detachedness than the rest of the cast since that empty demeanor is p common among whatever diplomatic events hes been a part of)

izzy is someone who’s character i established mostly in the long post i had about her?? but it is worth mentioning now though that she does stick very close by to noah throughout her time on the show, and routinely interacts with him where most of the cast had given up trying altogether.

^ it builds,, a kind of rapport between her and noah?? in some way after the fact he’d recognize it as a nice, ‘i-want-to-know-more-about-you-and-also-befriend-you’ thing, but during he reacts more like a yowling cat tbh. he’s built up this reputation and facade that make people stay away from him, and now izzy wants to stick around him and threaten his defense mechanism? no thanks. (< further reasoning for why he belays insults towards her during WT under the guise of his own facade)

owen is a special case — in the bus chase before the season, noah took the time to sit by him and build up the proper beginnings of a friendship, which owen is thrilled about < during his time on island, owen was really fond of noahs quips and ‘just wished he would open up a bit more!!’,, he thinks some friends would b good for him and hes right

^ and again, owen is noahs safest option to 'endear' himself to the audience with a friend. hes so genuine and understanding of where noahs projected character falls flat, and like izzy keeps interacting and wants to interact with him where the rest of the cast gave up (and noah the person becomes very fond of owen and the reprieve their friendship offers him very quickly)

and finally,,, sierra. i actually want to talk more about the Audience as an entity in this AU in a later post and sierra ties into that heavily. as established, noah is the one cast member she just doesn't know anything about. of each blog she runs dedicated to each member of the show, his is the emptiest; the most baseless. being in proximity with the man of mystery is exciting!

^ noah still comes off as very uncanny valley to sierra and his detachedness is immediately clear. but the key difference to her and and cast is that she has the Audience perspective --- he's intriguing moreso than offputting. (and also theres definitely Something there about the meta-analysis of panopticon as an in-universe topic and how sierra would relate/connect that once it becomes clear to the cast why noah acts as he does)

[*new york (same time space as the aftermath?) as the moment when sierra prattles off information about the cast but comes up with nothing on noah that his own interest is piqued just a liitle bit, and he starts building a proper relationship up with noah as the straightmen to the cast. < also come after london is something he looks back on as a Hmm. moment wondering what noah knows about himself.

^ alejandro does believe their rapport is one-sided bc of his own facade, which i want to mention simply bc he's wrong. it is no-sided. both of them r faking.]

now getting to the episodes themselves -- minor changes/additions:

in the yukon, he doesn't try to cuddle bridgette

^ also in the yukon, he shivers less visibly than the cast (think when in cold weather you get those microtremors that really fucking hurt after a few seconds). this is only because it feeds into the android joke-turned-conspiracy for the folks watching on the aftermath set

in new york, he was not actually asleep in the carriage nor did he explicitly pretend to be. he just Kept Quiet when heather did her thing

in germany, he doesn't go up to alejandro when he falls off the platform, but he does prompt owen to ask something along a similar line [to his canon ones]

in the amazon, he's the one to point out owens absence

in paris, the line of 'this totally works on my dog' he changes to smth like 'totally works on dogs',, for his own exercise of privacy really

in the space of the jamaica aftermath, he again disappears from the rest of the cast à la playa des losers save for owen. owen gets a hello during mealtimes and hes the only one.

and finally, the episodes of 'significant' development with noahs intrigue in alejandro:

beginning before any real events of the show during introductions

^ kicked off in germany similarly to canon, emphasized by newfoundland and the grab for DJ's alliance

and cemented completely [his interest in unmasking him] in jamaica, continuing onward with london around when he discovers that alejandro is acting skittery towards him because of his own suspicions

[modernghostfare]

Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

[blackjackkent]

Rasaad/Jaheira (from Rassad's POV this time) - feeling a flutter after something they've done dozens of times

Karlach/Hector - accidentally referencing them as "my"

Rakha/Wyll - holding hands and that's all they can think of

("What Are We" moment prompts)

Karlach/Hector - accidentally referencing them as "my"

(NGL I really loved and got immediate ideas for all three of these so the others will probably be making an appearance in their own posts soon. XD But we start out with this one bc the idea amused me the most.)

-----

The mountain pass gets terribly cold at night - for everyone except Karlach.

She's always run kind of hot, even back before the Hells ripped her open, but these days it's just a non-issue. At the best of times, the engine keeps her temperature regulated, and with how bad it's chugging right now, it feels like she inhaled burning coal. Double bonus, she thinks with dry black humor. Keeps me warm as fuck and also means I have way bigger problems to worry about.

It must be about two in the morning. Most of the others have already retreated to their tents, and she should really do the same. The engine's feeling real bad tonight, though - it's been getting worse for days. And if she's honest, she doesn't really want to be alone right now.

So she drifts, half-asleep, dozing in the omnipresent heat, against a large rock near the campfire, where she can listen to Shadowheart and Lae'zel - the only others still awake - bickering.

"We should not have wasted our time in the Underdark," Lae'zel is saying sourly, tossing another few sticks onto the fire.

"You can stop complaining," Shadowheart answers. "Based on what that Esther woman said, your creche is practically within spitting distance."

"I begrudge any wasted time," Lae'zel grumbles, "when the threat of a ghaik transformation hangs above us."

"Carlisle listened to you," Shadowheart points out. "You might do well to just accept the victory rather than finding ways to poke holes in it."

"Carlisle is callow at best. Competent enough with his fists, I grant you, but in sore need of guidance."

"Which you can provide out of your wealth of experience," Shadowheart says, with a hint of mocking humor.

Lae'zel audibly bristles at this. "I would see us all survive, istik," she says icily. "I gave him the answer almost at our first meeting and it took him this long to recognize its worth. It was infuriating."

"Mmhmm. And that would of course be why you propositioned him this afternoon in front of all of us in the middle of the roadway," Shadowheart murmurs dryly.

Karlach, half-asleep, stiffens a little, squirming against the rock where she's been slowly drifting off. She was present for this little display of Lae'zel's earlier - and if she's honest, it's probably a big part of why her engine is acting up right now, because Karlach spent the whole conversation vibrating with agitation.

(Which is stupid, right? He doesn't even know how she's starting to feel about him, and even if he *did*, she couldn't touch him, and even if she *could*, he might not want to touch her back. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But still... it stung, watching Lae'zel of all people try to get with him. It was real fucking clear the gith didn't want him for anything more than his body. And hells, Karlach doesn't have room to judge; she was once that twenty-year-old horndog herself, climbing on anything with a pulse.

But Hector... Hector's different. She can tell he is. He wouldn't want a quick fuck. He'd... he'd want to *love* her, properly, like in those romance songs the bards always sing...)

"That was a different matter," Lae'zel says defensively, oblivious to the way Karlach's nearby half-asleep form is starting to incandesce like a candle flame. "The body's satisfaction has no bearing on our practical needs. He would be a convenient outlet, no more."

"I see. How very pragmatic of you," Shadowheart deadpans. "You do know he's a Selunite, right? I'm not sure they even know how."

Lae'zel snorts. "He need only accept, and I would take what we both needed."

"Of course," Shadowheart says in a tone dry as sandpaper. "No accounting for taste. He's not bad to look at, I guess, but personally, I can think of a lot of better candidates for a romp than an old moon-drunk--"

"Hey." Karlach's still half-asleep but her engine is roaring with sudden irritation and the words snap out, slightly slurred, before she even means to speak. "That's my Hector you're talking about. Show some fucking respect." The bit of profanity emerges so sharply that she startles herself, jolting fully awake-- and as she does, she registers the full import of the words she just spoke.

Opening her eyes fully, she finds that Shadowheart and Lae'zel have both turned to stare at her. They make an interestingly asymmetrical tableau, as Lae'zel's eyebrows have hooded tightly down over her eyes, while Shadowheart's have shot to her hairline.

"'Your' Hector?" the cleric asks with visible amusement.

"I--" Karlach can feel herself flushing with embarrassment; luckily it's dark and she's already so red that the others won't be able to tell. Probably. "You know what I mean," she says hastily. "He's our leader. So you should treat him with respect."

She looks at Lae'zel. "You should know this - you're a soldier," she points out, and her voice calms a little on this subject where she's on firmer ground. "Chain of command, right? Morale?"

Lae'zel grunts. "Yes," she says warily. "You speak true."

"Yeah." Karlach nods several times. Her engine is raging with sudden adrenaline and her chest aches with the heat. "So. Y'know. Don't be pricks about it," she adds, just the slightest bit sourly.

Shadowheart is still watching her with a thoughtful expression, and a smile tugs at the corner of her mouth - although, to Karlach's surprise, it doesn't seem sarcastic. If anything, she seems rather chastened, and even touched by Karlach's abrupt interjection. "Message received," she says mildly.

"Good." Karlach nods again, and an awkward silence stretches between the three of them. "Fuck," she mumbles, rubbing a hand down her face. "I'm going to bed."

Without waiting for a response, she gets up and trudges in the direction of her tent. It takes several minutes (and several of the calming mantras Hector taught her) before she can actually get her engine under control enough to sleep.

What the fuck was that? she thinks ruefully as she finally stretches out on her bedroll and stares up at the ceiling of the tent. And what was that 'my' business? It had slipped out in her drowsy state so naturally that it had taken a moment to realize it didn't make sense.

Wishful thinking. She sighs. That's all. You should know better than to go down that road and start hoping. Go to sleep, before you make more of a fool of yourself.

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

[citadelofmythoughts]

So I kind of already got this with red like roses part two. (Context about the ruby and yang v10 family drama) but I’ve always wanted a slice of Ruby Is Angry With Summer. She loved her mom, she loves her memory, she mocked her outfit partially after her. She feels burdened with her gone. And while she’s sad and upset with her gone.

RLR2 is just. It’s my jam idk. It’s one of the only pieces in early days that showed how Ruby truly felt. Yang has nothing but good things to say about Summer and it’s clear BOTH girls idolize her to some extent. But while Yang lives in the bubble of “mom is still my hero even if she failed bc I know how strong and caring she was” it felt like or maybe I just hoped that while Ruby loved her mom here is laced with “How can you love someone and still be so angry with them”

In a way, in a very very different way that maybe would take a longer post to elaborate on, the way Yang sees Tai and the way Ruby sees Summer TO ME are similar. Not in subject matter but in the deeper more complicated feelings.

Tai was present but not emotionally. He was the fun dad. He seems to have grown from context clues into the nag your kids about life lessons, referencing Ruby’s annoyance at Yang saying she needs to branch out bc she “sounds like dad”. But he was neglectful. And loving a parent who hurt you even by accident, who never Saw your pain and then when they did handled it badly. Someone who tries but it’s wrong or not enough. That’s hard. The memory of super mom Summer keeps Yang going and is probably her version of Bubba Bubba Boba. It was bad. But not always. And that’s why her feeling about him are so complicated.

Whereas Ruby “maybe we don’t have the full picture” seems to give him space to be better / good. Of course dad loves us we know that. I imagine Yang has been the buffer for her since Yang was taking care of Ruby emotional needs growing up, and Tai took them out for fun trips and got them a puppy and taught them. He’s maybe distant until he “gets better” after Summer leaves. But with Qrow being the more visibly unstable one Ruby seemed to put her attention onto him and so Tai is just Dad to her.

But for RUBY, Summer is the omen hanging over her. Yang says in BTC that she believed Ruby was too young to truly grasp what had happened. How accurate that is we don’t really know but RLR2 tells us that even if she didn’t have the words Ruby felt more than ppl thought a toddler showed. Sadness and loss. Betrayal. She has to be the new Summer and she can’t even remember what she truly looked like. She’s perfect in every way. Ways Ruby can never be. And unlike Tai who Yang could potentially have a screaming match at, Summer isn’t here. Ruby’s only outlets for her feelings are fitting and herself, since she looks so much like her.

Their family makes me so sad but I have so many questions. And while a neglectful parent is NOT the same as a dead one, it’s hard to forgive someone who you can’t even tell you’re mad at them. (Not trying to downplay Yang’s own burdens this is more a sad fun parallel of how I personally view the girls and their complicated emotions with their parents)

The Rose/Xiao Long/Branwen family is a troubled one and it's so complicated and messy.

You can love someone but still be angry at them, you can love someone and be disappointed in them. A parent can love a child and still completely screw up and in the process hurt them without meaning to.

[cbsxreader]

Not really meant to be an amazing drawing so I'm okay with this

(Pls click for better quality)

tw:blood

I drew my OC Evelyn with CBS again and here are some things abt their relationship and some lore abt her under the cut if you're interested

Evelyn is a cannibal who's like, a different species that evolved from humans years ago and has been a cannibal all her life. She wanted to pursue knowledge in America but something went wrong and she ended up on the streets where she met Brutal and other freaks

They both couldn't stand each other at first bc the freaks basically kidnapped her and forced her to form an alliance with them and it's technically Brutal's fault (She was doing perfectly fine without their help and didn't need it in any way)

But the backstory aside, here are some dynamics that fit them: Smart person x emotional support dumbass, murderer x eats the evidence, Idiot x "Oh shit, he's my idiot" etc.

Of course their main way of dating is murder dates, just going in alleys and mauling anyone who just so happens to be there

Brutal loves how Evelyn can go from a calm and rational person to a rabid hungry dog once she smells fear in someone (she only sees humans as a food source and she compares it to a human looking at a hamburger, you only feel bad for eating it if you think too much about it)

Brutal is often like Evelyn's outlet for wanting to do dumb shit together with someone. She has a twin brother but he's no fun, so she just calls up Brutal and makes plans for something like putting someone in a cage and releasing a few dozen crazy rats in there to see what would happen

They're both possessive of each other and they're both very into it

They're both not perfect. Evelyn may seem all good but she actually can be a good manipulator and has gotten away with manipulating others, including her own lover, to get her way. Again, doesn't have empathy for humans and really enjoys toying with her food

idk that's it for now, also I just realized I've posted these two once a month

[marumarielle]

‼️ anon

Ghttps://www.tumblr.com/marumarielle/739410918618923008/anon-here-hey-maru-do-u-feel-like-loablr-has-a

GIRL U LITERALLY FRAMED ALL MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS SO WELL.

But honestly, so REAL, OMD. I think that the whole "tough love" mean tone should be reserved for those (and literally only those) who come up with silly excuses as to why they didn't manifest and procrastinate bc of literally the stupidest things. And that tone should only be used once in a while as some people may have genuine problems and self-blaming issues alongside these things. Tough love motivation can really go a long way, so I'm not entirely opposed to the idea of it just to how much it's used and to who it's used towards.

For those who have genuine problems and things holding them back from manifesting, we definitely should be kinder to them.

I recall one time a certain loa blogger here (I won't be saying their name, but it's starts with l and ends with 1) went into a certain shifter's post (won't be saying who) about how they were struggling with shifting and hated their CR or smth and when I went to the replies I saw them shouting at them being like "it's only YOUR FAULT, that u didn't shift, STOP IDENTIFYING WITH FAILURE" and I'm like girl..... why the hell are u shouting on this random person who ain't even in LOAblr? Maybe be more positive towards them bc shouting at someone and telling them their failures are no one's fault, but theirs is legit so bad for someone's mental health and self esteem like...

Honestly, I think it's tricky to navigate the law and this community without encountering unnecessary self blame, and so it's important we frame and type our posts in a way that doesn't encourage it and is against it.

Remember, y'all make sure to feed ur subconscious with the things u wanna see in ur physical reality but not push all those negative feelings u have about ur circumstances deep inside, it's incredibly unhealthy and it's always good to express ur feelings. The sort of principal I adopt is spend 80% of the time persisting in the new story and ignoring the 3d and 20% venting and reacting to the old story. So far it's been helpful in maintaining a dominant state and allowing an outlet for my emotions.

Oh my god this also just said everything in my head and what I felt about tough love here in LOAblr!! And I love the 80/20 method you do (I think I remember knowing that this a real method but in a diff context). But, aside from that, I feel like as a member of the loassumption community we do need to start being wise with our words and being careful about. Because, I never know who's reading my posts and what I say can be more triggering than helpful which isn't what I want. It isn't what we want.

This is also why I want to encourage the mindset of "Failures are just opportunities to succeed" because that has helped me SO much. Not just loablr and shiftblr wise. I'm an academic achiever and that's my motto. So, whenever I get a low grade I grieve first and pick myself back up. Which leads to my 2nd point: It's okay to feel down! If anything, feeling your emotions do not take anything from you. They're sensations and suppressing them won't do any good. Let yourself feel safe to feel them <3