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atxxzist · 9 months

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broken | c.s (11)

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pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 5.5k

warning: u alr know

a/n: went off the radar 4 a while only to pull 5k out of my ass. pls give me all the constructive criticisms <3

you were glad to have lost him in the crowd, hiding behind the shoulders of people until your ride showed up and took you back to the dorm--though that was probably a mistake on your part.

because when there's a knock at the door, you know it's him.

you also know you shouldn't open it; shouldn't allow him back in because there's no reason to hear him out.

but a part of you, so hurt by what he did--the scene still playing in your head and the image of it just as painful as the first time, it feels like there's a brick sitting on your chest whilst trying to catch your breath--that you just need some kind of consolation, even if it comes in the form of predictable lies and a bigger inevitable heartbreak.

want him to tell you that it was a mistake, that she was the one who threw herself onto him; that he never meant to hurt you... even if it wasn't a mistake and though he didn't mean to hurt you, he wasn't thinking of you.

"what?" you try to sound angry, maybe even a little bored to hide the fact you cried the entire ride here.

he stands tall outside your room but look the smallest you've ever seen him, dark hair falling over his eyes and speaking in a shameful voice, "can i talk to you?"

you sulk at that, a click of your tongue and turning around to go sit at the edge of your bed with arms crossed, as if there could an explanation for why he was all over someone else when you weren't there.

his hands gripping her hips and face in her neck the way only he's allowed to do to you.

"i promise that her and me are just friends," he says, shutting the door behind him and settling down beside you, but you're so upset and hurt, his leg just slightly brushing yours sparking a reaction like never before, you have to scoot over and put on some kind of distance.

“we’re…” he drags his words before finishing it off, “friends.” a smile settling on him after that makes you feel so sick–whether it’s from how attractive he still looks or how the answer brings out so many other questions.

“friends?” you reiterate like you’re in denial.

“yeah, friends.”

“do friends sleep with each other?” kiss each other, visit one another and spew such sweet, blush-inducing words that conjures up butterflies?

“some friends do.”

when you finally spare him a glance, you have to keep from giving in just at the guilt all over his face and that he actually came after you. but you're fast to renounce immediately when you see that dark, stained mark on his neck again staring back like someone hitting the replay button on your misery once more.

then all that comes out are just cold and bitter words said in the most unamused tone, san even thinks you sound sarcastic.

"she's a friend, i'm a friend, what's the difference?"

the harshness stuns him, though, what else did he expect? because even someone sweet and forgiving like you has a breaking point when pushed too far.

"you're not just a friend, y/n. you're--"

"i'm what?"

you await his answer, possibly a lie that will make you feel better and more special compared to every other girls he messes with. but the disappointment when he remains silence is strong, it consumes you completely.

"well, i'm sorry i ruined the night for you. i finished most of my assignments and just thought maybe we could hang out, but looks like you already got company. so truly, i'm sorry."

"don't say that."

"why not? it's true though. you were occupied when i got there."

"stop staying that!"

the volume picks you up from the seat, his delivery could've fooled anyone that it was just a blind accusation. but you realize; take in, that san doesn't like his own fuck-ups being thrown in his face. no one really does.

"look, i'm sorry. really sorry," he tries again, voice softer, attempting to calm you; calm himself.

but after everything, after building up your trust and filling your fragile heart with so much hope, all he can offer is a sorry. no lies or consolations because none of it was a mistake.

you suddenly feel like it's getting much harder to breathe, the brick on your chest multiplying by a million and cutting the airway.

"y/n?" san calls, his once shameful face turning concerned. "are you okay?"

but you certainly don't feel okay, and you honestly haven't for a long time. if ever. and every episode in the same fashion is a reminder of that.

"it's fine," you manage to let out, a bittersweet smile on and a response that san can't read into. "you didn't do anything wrong."

this isn't a relationship--a proper one at least, and he isn't your boyfriend. the hardest pill to swallow is he didn't have to come after you, didn't have to apologize... because a truth even harder to digest, is that he doesn't owe you anything.

but you can still hurt from it; allow the pain to settle in as if everything he's done with you is only exclusive to you and him. only you can kiss him, mark him, and his hands should only be on your hips. not anyone else.

and you do. you hurt from it so much, tears streaming down your cheeks so quietly but the sight such a sore to watch, san's not sure what to say to make it better.

can he even make it better?

there's nothing to clarify and nothing to add. you very clearly saw everything for what it was: he replaced you, just like that. and the sickest thing is that he did it so mindlessly like it's a habit. because that's what he does.

he didn't think you'd take it this hard, or maybe he was just hoping he wouldn't get caught because breaking you is easy... he's done it before, but he's afraid this is the worst, yet.

"y-you should go," you say suddenly, picking your head up to san's wide eyes staring back at your puffy red ones before you swipe your runny nose.

"i..." he fidgets, "i can't go right now. not with you like this."

he can almost laugh at the absurdity, the irony of it all when he's the reason you're in this state right now. he understands the absolute ridiculousness but he really can't go; leave you like this.

a shake of your head is what you give, along with a tight-lipped smile although the tears are starting to sting and it's still not any easier to breathe.

"go. i'll be fine."

"no."

you wish for once to understand san, what goes on inside his head and how he makes his choices, because no matter how much you find out about him, it seems you never really truly know who he is.

he will say one thing and then does another; do this then tell you that. hurt you then feel bad about it, like he never really means anything.

san confuses you.

and you also wish you're not so weak-hearted to let him stay by your side once more as if he's not capable of hurting you again.

the week has been tense, something unpleasant always in attendance when you're with san, even if he's trying his best to brush it off; ignore it, put a smile on his face and act as if it doesn't bother him, too.

as if the week before, he didn't nearly send you into a panic attack and the sight continuously ingrained in his head, it might've scarred him just a bit.

but you're honestly still not used to it--san actually staying around and constantly checking up on you to make sure everything's okay after what happened.

it's odd he actually gives a shit, but even odder you're starting to recognize the pattern of lovebombing every time he fucks up and you can't even find the willpower to be genuinely upset. maybe just a little tired at this point, but still going along to see where it will take you, a gut feeling that the end is near.

"what are you working on?" san's voice makes you jump, turning the laptop the other way immediately in a panic. moments ago, he was still occupied in his own world, you were so sure he wouldn't be interested in your exciting school works.

"just fixing up my draft for a class," you tell him, having to move the laptop even further when he tries stealing a glimpse again, a loose giggle escaping from his lips at the expression on you.

"what's wrong? don't want me to see it?" he raises a brow teasingly.

"it's just a silly little story," you dismiss, "full of mistakes and a lot of corrections that needs to be made."

"i'm sure it's not that bad. but anything from you, i'll read."

a charming smile rests on him and with words like a spell, you have to keep it together; remind yourself that this is the man who had hurt you and no matter how sweet or convincing he is, there's a chance he's gonna do it again, every seconds spent with him constantly in alert ever since, that if you can hardly say no, you can at least keep from showing any amount of joy or satisfaction around him.

"maybe next time."

he just nods lightly and backs up.

"whenever you're confident enough."

it's all so eerie, you might as well preferred when he treated you like shit instead. it's just unlike san to be so lenient, the offer to hang out having came from him when you had made clear he didn't have to because you would be leaving for work soon anyways.

but he was eager about staying regardless of how short the visit would be, it's hard to be touched when you're not at all convinced it's out of sincerity.

"i have to get ready for work." you close the laptop and search the room for materials you have prepared.

san twitches in his seat and swallows down before speaking.

"i'll come pick you up?"

freezing in your spot at that, you turn to him and shake your head.

"no, it's fine. i'll take a cab home like i always do."

the jab is subtle but san doesn't miss it, a look of shame and guilt on him, but he's fooled you one too many times, you can hardly believe anything anymore.

"please, y/n," he pleads, desperation overriding his features as he stands up and hovers over you, "i don't mind. as long as you let me."

as long as you let me. as if all this time, you weren't waiting for him to do his part; the only thing finally pushing him to act upon it now is when he has to.

"if you want," you give in, and he can tell it's only because you're in a hurry, the cold shoulder unlike anything he's ever experienced before. he can't say he doesn't deserve it, but it's definitely out of place coming from you.

it's also out of place he's even trying to make up; console you, everything of which he usually doesn't do, but he feels he owes you that at the very least... or maybe he's just not ready to let it go, yet.

the comfort, your presence, and the things you do for him. he don't want to let go of how easy everything is with you, he wish for it to last just a little longer despite knowing how it will end, but he is so, so selfish.

"i'll be there."

"wooyoung's party is tonight," you initiate during the third time he's picked you up after a work shift.

"so?" he shrugs.

"you're not going?"

"no."

"oh..." you sigh, slouching in the seat and looking out the window of his car. "if you want to, you can. you're not obligated to--"

"--can we please not talk about that?"

about the very thing that lead you two into the current predicament, no longer in each other arms and staring into the other's eyes lovingly, but with a gaze always so tense and uncomfortable that he's too responsible for.

"san, you don't have to do this. we're not even dating, and i... i don't really care about it anymore," your voice tapers out at the end, so utterly weak, you can't even carry a lie to the last breath because you definitely do still care, and it definitely still hurts like it's the first time.

but to be treated like a responsibility; an obligation he's bind to and have to act upon--it just doesn't sit right. you've already spent way too long being nothing but a burden.

"even if you don't care about it anymore, i feel bad, okay? that was awful of me to do, and i really want to make it up to you. i hurt you, i know i did."

it would be easy to go along with it, the fact he's even trying at all when the relationship is nameless; lacking of label--you should even be grateful to an extent. but the weight is harder to shake off, and every second with the conflict brewing makes you feel as if doom is coming and you're about to burst.

you don't say anything, only merely glancing out the window again to find some form of peace because even the subject is starting to wear you out at this point.

"i won't be attending any more of those parties," he speaks up after you're quiet for too long; the statement making your head snap to him.

"huh? you know you don't--"

"--i know i don't have to, but i wan't to, so please don't try to convince me otherwise."

and maybe the you before he went and fucked up the very last bit of faith you had left in him, would've been moved. but as of currently, you're all too aware of his intentions.

pushed to the edge and the trust in him nearly gone, he understands it will never be the same again. he just wishes even if for the last time, to be in your good grace, because though he doesn't want to let go yet, he don't know for how much longer he'll be able to stay.

the clock is ticking and the distance between you and him is growing more and more.

it would be a lot less painful if he stops everything here; save you the heartbreak and tears that are going to come, but again, he really is such an opportunist, always taking and never giving.

it's poor and tasteless to say that's just how he is, but it's the truth... so he throws himself down; stripped of dignity and pride, and all just for you... for the first and possibly, last time.

"goodnight," he whispers, voice soft and trying to light up the mood before the end of the night, because your eyes are nothing but dead.

"goodnight." it sounds almost like an inaudible and uninterested mumble, the life on you completely different from his.

the both of you just stare at each other, as if waiting for the other person to finally say the last call and end what would usually be a kiss and maybe bodies tangled together in a heated session, but now more like two acquaintances trying to make the best out of the situation.

"are you free tomorrow?" he asks, trying his very best.

and you suppose you've had far too many chances to make things right; lessen the pain and end what is already dead, but the undeniable truth is no matter how much you preach... you're also afraid to let go, if not, more than him.

"yeah."

"is that another story you're working on?" his voice rings in your ear, making your nervous eyes twitch to him.

"san!" you nag, and he only giggles in return, backing away from the screen before you're able to push him yourself.

"what? i just want to see." he shrugs.

"well, keep your eyes away." you nearly roll your own, huffing before switching to another tab.

"is it that bad?" the teasing tone is evident, prompting another glare from you.

"it's not a story. just something for my class."

"hmm," san hums, nodding, "when you said you were free, i didn't expect to be sitting on the side while you finish up class assignments."

"well, when i said free, i meant i'm not going anywhere."

"right." he nods sarcastically, "we should do something."

"like?"

"like going out, or if not, we can watch a movie of your choice, if you want something explicit like last time, i'm fine with that too." he smirks, and you have to hold back from overreacting.

"whatever," you dismiss quietly, handing the laptop over to him.

"you pick. i don't really have anything in mind right now."

but it's a mistake, because instead, san clicks on the document you were working on; the surge of panic making you pry the device from him harshly but he's a fighter, tugging even harder.

"san, if you don--"

with another jerk, you're pressed up against his chest and staring into those coy eyes you're all too familiar with, conjuring up butterflies that's been so long, you almost forgot how he made you feel, with his handsomeness and smile that's too easy to fall into.

he smirks before stealing a kiss to your cheek, releasing the laptop as you fall back gently while the blush crawls out.

"sorry," he says cheekily, but you know he doesn't really mean it.

you attempt to fight the smile at the tip of your lips, biting down to conceal as much as possible, san thinks it's extremely endearing.

it's also been way too long since he's kissed you, and seeing the first genuine reaction in such a long while, nothing reminiscent of hatred or bitterness does make him feel a certain way.

it's only supposed to be dinner at san's place (at first). he invites you and says he wants to do something for the weekend, and it's not like you're going to decline when he's doing everything--as well as picking you up.

it's always casual at first; conversation, gestures, and everything.

you're starting to lose the edges a bit ever since that day, san witnessing more smiles than frowns and you don't look like you completely hate him, so he thinks, maybe things can be good again.

his apartment always feel homey, though you don't always feel welcomed every time... it is very nicely decorated.

roaming the interior and everywhere you guys have been before, you have to keep from really thinking too much; close out the thoughts of who else he brings here and where exactly he kissed them.

rather than forgiving san, you just kind of became... numb to it all.

the reminder isn't as frequent, but every time you do remember, the hit is still sharp and you'd have to catch your breath, but you've just gotten better at acting like it doesn't bother you anymore.

when the aroma from the kitchen finally settles in, it knocks any other thoughts out of your head and becomes the primary focus as you start sniffing the air.

"let me set everything up," san speaks from behind, walking past you to get to the kitchen.

and it starts like that. a nice dinner at his much smaller kitchen island filled with soft laughters and a genuine interest for each other, it's everything you envisioned if things were right.

when he offers some soju, you don't drink too much as the taste of alcohol in general still something you're not used to, but you drink enough to get tipsy.

enough to loosen up and not feel completely like yourself, but also not enough to still know that when san crashes his lips against yours, it's all kinds of wrong that only feels right in the moment.

the one that you will come to regret once you're sober enough and really think. but maybe your life is as messed up as it is because you never really do, always drawn to temptation over logic.

san is going to be your biggest downfall and he won't be the only one at fault.

you kiss him back and throw both arms around his neck, the slight flavor of the drink he had still lingering and you don't miss the scent that comes along with it as he manages to pick you up and throw down your body onto the couch.

you miss the way he feels on your skin, and he misses your skin on his lips, which is why the first kiss delivered to your neck is the only gentle one before he loses himself.

what comes after that is cliche and obvious.

it doesn't feel right but it does feel good. both of you panting and trying to catch your breaths as he snap his hips into yours and gets a curse out of you.

"oh fuck..." you bite down your lower lip and your nails only digs deeper into the skin of his back at the sensation.

so you sleep with him that night, the shame only hitting when the morning sun rises and you awake to his bare chest pressed against your back and his arm wrapped around your waist.

he's still sleeping and he's absolutely beautiful as always.

you wonder, aside from breaking a foolish girl's heart over and over again, what kind of things has san managed to get away with just because he's as mesmerizing as he is.

it would be easy for someone like him.

but shame can only do so much and last for so long before you submit to temptation again and sleeps with him a few more times after as well, just because he's good at pretending you mean something to him, and you're all too good at self destruction and fooling yourself that when he stayed all those nights with you until morning, it's because of something else and not what you already know.

the park is quiet; empty, not a single soul in sight other than you and the boy who came along as the small talks take you both in under the moonlight.

"have you always liked writing?" he asks, and you can't help the scoff that leaves, because when did choi san become so invested in mindless hobbies and things you do to pass time. or in this case, something you still haven't quite grasped that still feels much like a chore because it is tied to a class in the first place.

"no." you shake your head, walking along the narrow path as the summer breeze rustles the branches of the trees.

"i only recall slightly that you like computers."

"kind of. yeah," you confirm short and simple, not about to have that conversation again about why it wasn't meant to be.

san is selfish, in the most vain and obvious fashion that doesn't take a genuis to figure out. you believe he knows so himself and holds very little shame from the fact.

eventually, his mask will unveil and it's not like he ever tried hard enough to hide it because you're also selfish in your own ways.

you may not be calculating like san is, but to have keep him around this long and to say it's not because of your own stupid desires and wants would be a lie.

that you also don't use him to fill the hurt and emptiness in your life, chasing after him so hard because he's the closest to the kind of love you've always wanted.

because if you weren't, you would've let him go.

someone like san won't ever be able to love you, and even if he did, how long would it be until he realizes the commitment to one person is all too much and gets bored?

even now, you wonder if he enjoys the time with you at all. because who would rather hang with you than be out at an obnoxious party? but he can still offer temporary relief, and that's awful of you to say, but he was the first to be selfish and will continue to be until the last breath of the 'relationship' so why can't you also?

time seems like it's closing out and you're not sure how much longer the two of you can play pretend before the inevitible shows itself.

"what about you?" you perk to him, blinking your lashes charmingly. "you talked of dancing and performing before, so how come i've only heard about it once?"

a half scoff half laugh escapes from him and turning his attention to the path instead like you just asked a ridiculous question.

"well, i kind of already told you why, but i just don't got much passion for it nowaday."

“i’m not sure,” is all he says, a small sigh of disappointment escaping from you that goes unheard. “i wanted to major in dance and performance, but…”

“but?”

“but i can’t make a living or lifestyle out of it. so i didn’t.”

"i remember. but if you considered it, the passion must had been there once upon a time."

"oh yeah, definitely."

you hesitate for a second, but there's not a lot to lose at this point.

"i'd love to know, if you don't mind telling me."

it takes another couple of steps, but he does answer with very little objection much to your surprise.

"wooyoung got me into it, believe it or not."

"wooyoung was in on it, too?"

"yeah." san laughs. "i was an even worse dancer before i met him. but yeah, was in some sort of club or group for it in high school and we performed at some school events, but that's pretty much it. nothing really worth calling back to."

"no, that's great. it takes a lot of courage to go up there, cause i wouldn't have had the guts. i think i would pass out."

"oh, i know," he teases, and you shoot an unserious glare his way.

"and what about wooyoung? did he go into performance?"

san shakes his head.

"nah. undecided also, but i don't think he's stressing out too much about it. from his parents alone, he would be able to land a sweet job even if he got kicked out."

you nod, a snarky smile on your lips.

"yeah, true."

rich kids and their privileges.

after a few more strolls in silence around the area, san suggests taking a break from walking, both of you plopping onto the bench with tired breath puffing into the air.

it's your first time at this park, but it's not too big and has a nice amount of benches, but more so, the location is convenient because it's a good distance from the dorm which means less chance of your friends finding out.

"dance for me," you demand out of thin air, san turning to meet your gaze a few seconds before a laugh tumbles out, thinking you're most likely joking.

"i'm serious." you sit up and adjust your shirt slightly.

"it's been almost an entire year since i last danced to anything, i'm rusty now."

"so? i want to see. come on," you continue to urge, scooting even closer because then, he might give in.

"this is ridiculous. you're going to make fun of me."

you shake your head, desperate to prove the sincerity.

"i won't. i know you'll do great."

he lets out a defeated sigh before getting up with a "fine" and sees the biggest smile of the night on you.

"but you owe me something in return, too." he points finger and you wave it off.

"sure..." pulling your phone out, you look up to ask, "so what song?"

"uh... exo... overdose?" it's been a while to be fair, and san usually isn't one to hold things in memories, no matter the importance. short term or long term.

the song starts and he nods to the music, a few movements here and there trying to recall but he's struggling a bit, you can tell, unable to help the giggle that comes out because the sight is endearing.

"skip to the chorus."

and you do, eyes trained on him without detracting and watching as the recollection seems to creep up, his execution still a little jumbled and he doesn't look like he's 100% confident, but you know you've never seen anyone moved like that in your lifetime.

not that you know anything about dancing or whatever, but you've definitely never met a dancer, so to see someone work their body and move it so effortlessly, you're impressed for sure.

san doesn't even realize the chorus's over until you start clapping, the muscle memory just naturally leading him to the next beat.

it's been a while since he's moved like that and the sense of comfort that comes from it is weird, but welcoming in a way. it was quite fun, he thinks.

you're still clapping when he sits down again, the thin smile on you eventually turning into something more.

"you said you're rusty but you did so good! you even remembered it!"

"bleh," he dismisses, detaching from your gaze to stare out at the emptiness in front, "just muscle memory."

your next set of compliments blurs into muffled voices for him at the same time conflicts run round in his head, snapped back when you bring up, "want to stay over? yuna said she won't be back until morning."

it's the longest he ever takes to say a short and breathless, "yeah..." walking back with you to the dorms but feeling like a completely different person, it's frightening the way he just flip flops emotions, it raises the hair at the back of your neck from what you thought was a harmless and even entertaining situation.

but san seems to have taken it otherwise because the silence is anything but comforting, you fear this is it.

you unlock the door and settle your things first, your shoulder just barely angled his way when san annouces he's going to take a shower.

when you imagined the end, you think of a screaming match; at each other's throats and just absolutely the ugliest way possible. but this just might be worse... it's always worse when it comes unexpected.

but unexpected is such a loose term at this rate, because between you and san, there is so much hurt and so many unspoken wounds beyond repair from all the chasing.

you're so broken and san is not good for you, but for your own selfish desire, you wish he would stay, even if for one more night.

when you're near asleep from all the waiting, your heavy eyes failing to keep focus on the wall, the sound of the door creaking followed by footsteps until his chest is against your back gives you the biggest sign of relief, it's quite pathetic.

that he's going to stay and whatever came over him was just momentarily and you're all too good at overthinking.

you let sleep take over, hopeful that when you wake up, he will still be next to you.

san thinks that if you ever allowed yourself to think you're worse than him even once, you're absolutely out of your mind--which, you are, because he don't doubt you've thought of it.

you're quite skilled at leading the fault back to your own.

but if you're the one to pull the gun out, he would be the one to pull the trigger. and if you were to ever commit a crime, he would be the mastermind behind it.

if you're selfish, he will always be more selfish than you.

when he gets so much more than what he bargains for, coming to the realization over and over again that it's not good to recognize your touch and lose himself in your smile, he wants to run again. the way he always does.

it's how he handles unwanted emotions and practically anything not on his fucking list.

he will start something on impulse and trying to make up to you was definitely that, and it will end the same way.

he started this with you for all the wrong reasons and now, it's way past the due date.

you wake to very little light in the room, tossing lightly to gain your conscious, but heart suddenly dropping when you can sense the cool air of nothingness gliding against your back.

back that you thought would've been protected by a certain boy. but when you finally turn around, the worst pain yet hits you right in the face.

the space next to you is empty, and all there's left of san is a note taped to the side of the nightstand that you can only faintly see, but know every letter to.

'i'm sorry'

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#that visual of san in the park #cracks me up #lmfao #ateez angst #ateez x reader #san x reader #choi san x reader #san angst #ateez series #fic: broken

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meowingatthesea · 2 years

Note

howdy i'm here to ask you about the truly terrible book you read over shabbat. what was it and why was it so terrible?

thank you SO much for asking

it was a bad book.

it was written for 12 year olds. I am not a 12 year old. I'm not counting this against it though because that's on me for reading a book for 12 year olds

It was called The Fourteenth Goldfish and the only thing the back of the book description talked about was an immortal goldfish. I thought I was going to read a book about an immortal goldfish. THE IMMORTAL GOLDFISH WAS A METAPHOR! I WAS SO PISSED! I WANTED TO READ ABOUT AN IMMORTAL GOLDFISH!

Okay now into the plot of the book. Some context, I'm a theatre technician. I work in theatre it's my job.

The story was about a girl who was raised by two parents who work in theatre, and her mom's father (her grandfather) is a big science guy, he has TWO PhDs (this is reiterated a lot), he's SMART, he knows STEM! And the grandfather is always on his daughter (the mom's) ass about being flighty and artistic and not caring about science and wasting her life in an arts field

The mom's boyfriend went to MIT and Harvard and works as a video game designer and the grandfather thinks that is just and ABSOLUTE waste of a degree

And the mom is always making fun of the scientist grandfather for being heartless and having no imagination

The grandfather thought about going into theatre as a kid but he asked too many questions about why the theatre department did things certain ways and got chased out. do you KNOW how many questions i ask every fucking day?

STEM AND ART ARE NOT INCOMPATIBLE HOLY SHIT! THEATRE AND SCIENCE ARE NOT AT ODDS WITH ON ANOTHER!!!!!!!!!! so that really pissed me off. what are we teaching the children.

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE PART THAT ANNOYED ME THE MOST. KEEP READING TO FIND OUT WHAT DID

The scientist grandfather discovers a cure for aging and reverse ages himself into the body of a 13 year old. He goes to live with the girl and her mom because he can't live alone as a 13 year old cause that's weird

When he lives there he starts teaching the girl about SCIENCE and STEM and how to be a SCIENTIST because her theatrical mother has completely neglected this part of her education, because all theatre people hate science.

He's teaching his granddaughter about science and how cool and awesome it is, and the point of the story does end up being "you have to consider ethics when you do science" but that doesn't get introduced until like the third to last page so he spend the entire book being a WILDLY unethical scientist

He's originally like "i'm gonna publish my research about reverse aging and win a nobel prize" and at first the granddaughter thinks that's the COOLEST thing but by the end of the book she's like "that will change the world as we know it, maybe let's not"

But this man... this man...

He discovers a way to reverse age himself

and then just IMMEDIATELY TESTS IT ON HIMSELF

AND THEN DECIDES HE'S READY TO PUBLISH

there is NO IRB

there is NO IRB REVIEW BOARD

there is NO PEER REVIEWED PAPER

there is NO DOUBLE BLINDED CONTROLLED STUDY

WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING

TWO PHDS BUT APPARENTLY HE MISSED THE ETHICS CLASS FOR BOTH OF THEM

He teaches the granddaughter about great scientists like Robert Oppenheimer, who never did anything wrong or morally grey in his life.

And then at the end when the granddaughter is like “maybe we don’t publish because i considered ethics for one second” he FLUSHES ALL OF HIS RESEARCH DOWN THE TOILET

MY GOOD SIR THAT IS DATA

YOU SHOULD KEEP THE DATA

AND JUST DO A BETTER JOB ON THE ETHICAL FRONT

So I'm reading this book just screaming about how ethically unsound this entire thing is. The grandfather is just the absolute epitome of a STEM man who has never considered humanities or why humanities is valuable ever in his entire life.

WHERE WERE THE IRB REVIEW BOARDS!!!!!!!!!!

This grandfather needs to learn what an ethics class is and needs to stop shitting on theatre and needs to understand that STEM and humanities are not at odds with one another

AND THEN I READ THE ENTIRE BOOK ANYWAY

I WAS LIKE THIS IS A SHIT FUCKING BOOK! LET ME FINISH READING IT

so that's the fourteenth goldfish. I probably wasn't the target audience but we can do better in our middle school lit choices. I believe we can. we deserve better.

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blindbeta · 3 years

Text

Blind / Low Vision Person’s Review of “Blind” by Rachel DeWoskin and Why Writers Should Not Underestimate the Benefits of a Sensitivity Reader

[Content warnings: spoilers for the book. Ableism. Brief mention of an accident involving eye trauma. Mentions of suicide. Stereotypes about blind people. Also this review, because I focused on the portrayal of blindness, comes across negatively. Please know that I have no hate for the author and might even read another book she wrote. However, I did not like the way this book portrayed blindness and, as difficult as it is, I wanted to be honest in my review.]

I struggled with the title, and I’m not even sure benefits is the appropriate word. What I want to convey here is not Brought to You By Big Sensitivity Reader Company vibes, but more This Book Was Not Good and It Needed a Sensitivity Reader Very Badly vibes.

Blind is about Emma Silver, a high school student who goes blind in a traumatic accident. Here is a good summary and review by a blind person. I listened to the audiobook, which was narrated well. I’ll start by saying this will only be a review of the portrayal of blindness — I’ll try to leave my other opinions out just to keep things focused.

Unfortunately, focusing on just blindness means that it will not make this review more positive, because this book is about a blind girl recovering from going blind. In a way that is both inauthentic and swerves well out of the author’s lane. I say that because, as I hope will become apparent, this book consists of main character Emma being sad about being blind for the majority of the book. The book doesn’t simply have a character who goes blind. That is the main character’s entire arc.

This is a long review. However, I believe it will be invaluable for my readers and anyone who is interested in writing a blind character. Because this book passes most of my minimum standards for writing blind characters and was still lacking due to many factors, including stereotypes. I included many sub-headings so you can find specific topics easily.

Helpful Links

I include these links in the review. I’ll list them here for easy finding.

Here are two reviews of the book by blind readers: one and two.

Here is a video of the author talking about some of research she did for the book.

Here is my post Things I Want to See More Of / Less Of.

Here is my post about writing a blind character adjusting to being blind and being all sad about it when you aren’t blind yourself.

And finally, here is the post I shared that lists misconceptions about blind people.

The Author

The author, Rachel Dewoskin, is not blind. I did as much research as I could, but even if I hadn’t done so before reading the book, it was obvious she wasn’t blind herself. There are too many inaccuracies and offensive moments. This becomes a problem not because her MC was blind, but because she told a blind person’s story and used tropes in ways I think would be better off written by a blind person. If I’m going to read a story like this, I don’t want to read it from the perspective of a person who isn’t blind. When I get into the details of what went wrong, I hope you’ll see why.

Did the author do her research? Yes. The author met with blind people, clearly researched assistive technology and cane skills, and even taught herself contracted Braille. She talks a little about it in this video.

In fact, I wanted to say I am so impressed and grateful this author immersed herself in things like Braille and cane skills. None of my followers have shared that they went to a Lighthouse For the Blind or taught themselves to read Braille or spoken so passionately about why they loved it.

But sometimes research falls short. Or it is simply not enough.

That’s why I’m writing this review. For you writers writing blind characters when you aren’t blind. Because while the author clearly had good intentions, while the author clearly did her research and put in the time to learn and listen in ways I don’t think many of my followers have yet — the book was not authentic enough for me.

This book needed several sensitivity readers. If it had any, I would be surprised.

The Cover

The audiobook seems to have Braille on the cover, but I can’t tell if it is accessible or simply a picture of Braille. The cover features the word Blind in white print on a black background, with what seems to be Braille in rainbow colors that also spell out the title. I’ll reserve judgment here, since I don’t know the answer. If the Braille is tactile, then the cover is fantastic.

In the video I linked, the author seems to be holding the hardcover edition of the book with Braille on the cover. I can’t tell if the Braille is actually tactile or not.

What I Liked About the Book

I wanted to list a few things I liked about the book.

1. The main character is Jewish.

2. Emma has a large family full of well-developed characters and realistic portrayals of various ages. Everyone reacts uniquely to her blindness and I thought these characters were all used well. The scenes with Emma and her older sisters as well as the scenes with her mom were really great.

3. Emma gets therapy for her trauma. She also gets training to use a cane. These are annoyingly rare in stories.

4. As I said, the author clearly did her research. This is obvious when reading the book and In everything I found when researching the author after I finished it. I want to give the author praise here. I thought her explanations of technology Emma uses were the most accurate I have seen so far, both in books and when doing sensitivity reads.

What I Didn’t Like

I will start with this: Emma, after a year of learning to use her cane, is still using a cane inside her own house. After a year. This is not realistic, nor does it seem comfortable at all to use a cane in one’s own home. I don’t know anyone who does this and according to the other reviews, I am not the only one who was surprised by this.

Basically, this story would be okay with some inaccuracies. That’s to be expected. The real issue I had with this book was that it uses tropes the blind community generally hates and that the book is literally about !!! a character going blind and adapting. That’s the story. If you remove the blindness and the trauma, the story falls apart.

The author told a story that was not hers to tell and she did so badly.

If you are confused about why I dislike this, please read this post called Writing Blind Characters Accepting Being Blind When You Aren’t Blind Yourself.

What Did The Author Do Badly?

Trauma and Blindness

The story starts when main character, Emma, goes blind after a fireworks accident. Not only is this cliché, but it also tics one of my boxes in my Things I Want To See Less of post. This author wrote about a character going blind due to a traumatic accident. Link to the post.

In telling a story that was not hers to tell, here are some harmful things in the book:

The author does not do a good job of separating Emma’s trauma from her blindness. To be fair, this is difficult and most people don’t know to go about doing so with purpose. There are a lot of times in the book where the fact that Emma is traumatized leads to her saying a lot of terrible things about blindness and blind people that are never corrected or contradicted in the story. Again, if you are not sure why this is a problem, read the link I shared to my post.

Here are a few times this issue came up:

-Emma develops a habit of rocking, which myself and many reviewers know to attribute to trauma, but it isn’t clear if the author thinks blind people rock, as the stereotype indicates. Is Emma rocking as a trauma response or because she is blind? The book doesn’t make it clear. This is a time where authors need to be clear.

-Emma assumed she will never get a job, be kissed, get married, etc, after going blind.

-Emma yells about being ruined due to her blindness. The first two hours of the audiobook consist of Emma complaining about being blind. She mentions never being able to get a job a few times, assuming she won’t be able to work. While blind people do struggle with employment, this is due to discrimination, lack of transportation, lack of accommodations, lack of community support, and other systemic issues.

-Emma calls herself disfigured.

-Emma states she wanted to die. In another part of the book, when a background character we never met, Claire, completed suicide, Emma wonders if she was so focused on Claire because she wondered if she wanted to kill herself too.

-On the subject of the character, Claire, Emma states: “How easy would being gay be compared to being blind?”

This is especially damaging because some people are blind and gay. It also isn’t fair for Emma to compare them and the systemic issues that are faced by blind people and gay people. Emma not only trivializes homophobia, but also decides being blind is worse. For Emma, being blind is the worst thing ever, which is very isolating to read.

There are times where the fact that Emma is traumatized was not only grouped in with her blindness, but where the author used trauma to write ideas about blindness that are ultimately harmful.

This book, if readers of the blog want to read it, should be a lesson on why separating trauma from blindness is important. Whether that means making clear distinctions in the narrative itself or just not writing about a character going blind after a traumatic accident.

Let’s continue the overall things done badly.

Stereotypes and Tropes About Blind People

1. Rocking —

I have already mentioned the rocking thing above, but to reiterate here, not all blind people rock to orient themselves.

2. Touching Faces —

Emma and another blind character literally feel each other’s faces, one of the most hated tropes for blind people. In another scene, Emma feels another character’s face without asking.

3. Where Are the Audio Descriptions? —

Emma compares her life to a horror movie she couldn’t watch. This is a subtle reinforcement of the idea that blind people don’t watch films or television. The book makes no mention of audio descriptions. I suppose Emma and all the other blind characters simply don’t watch films or shows anymore.

4. Supposedly Fake Service Dogs —

Emma gets a dog that is specifically said to not be a guide dog. Emma brings this dog to restaurants and to school. Emma explains that she can get away with bringing her dog because no one wants to tell the blind kid no. This was, as you may be able to imagine, frustrating to read. Plenty of blind people have been denied access to transportation and buildings with a guide dog that is supposed to be able to travel freely. Emma’s blindness would absolutely not be a big help to her in bringing her dog places where it is not allowed. In showing Emma getting away with bringing her dog into restaurants when he is explicitly not a service dog, the author is contributing to a huge myth that prevents actual service dogs from traveling freely. Yes, this is only a book and it probably isn’t falling into the hands of someone powerful — however, it has probably been picked up by a business owner, a driver for public transport, a teacher, etc.

5. Avoiding words like see and look —

Emma avoids words like see and look. She also gets angry at her friends for using such words. At one point, Emma’s friend says something and Emma snaps, “I can’t see”. This prompts her friend to, according to Emma, never make that mistake again. Toward the end of the book, Emma is still avoiding such words.

Here is a list of misconceptions about blind people. Look at #6.

Here is another review of this book that also touches on this issue. The reviewer states: “The strange thing is that I’ve never known any blind person avoiding the use of words like “see” or “look.” Again, I’d hate for sighted people to read this book and think that blind folk all avoid words with visual associations; in fact, the only blind friends I talk to moan about sighted people avoiding the use of such visual words because they think we’ll be offended!”

6. All Blind People Are Apparently Totally Blind —

At one point in the story, Emma attends a school for the blind. Another character, who I think was Emma’s mother, says that the campus is beautiful. Emma makes this remark: “Why bother making a school for the blind beautiful? It’s lost on everyone anyway.”

Wow, Emma, that was rude. This is another example of where Emma’s pain and anger cause issues for readers. If they take this at face value, they may think that blind people don’t notice or appreciate beauty. More importantly, they might also assume, like Emma, that all blind people can’t see. As I have stated many times on this blog, most blind people have residual vision. Not everyone is totally blind. This is why, like beautiful grounds, schools for the blind also have things like stairs with high contrast.

7. Subtle Use of the Idea That People With Low Vision Should Rather Strain Themselves Than Be Blind —

This one was less obvious for me. However, once I thought about it again, I understood what I was reading in this character. There’s a rather outgoing character named Seb whose personality is very refreshing in this story. Seb attends the school for the blind with Emma. Seb has low vision.

So Seb wants to get a job. Remember how Emma was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get a job now that she is blind?

Instead of showing Seb getting a job to prove that idea wrong, he knows he has to conveniently not mention being blind when he applies, showing up in sunglasses and without a cane. The book states he worries he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application.

Here is what the book states:

[Quote] “He got hired without telling any of the guys who ran the place that he wasn’t sighted; I know because he had confided in me and Dee the week before that he wanted the job—if friend worked there and said they had an opening—but Seb was worried he wouldn’t be able to fill out the application. So he showed up one night before closing time, wearing sunglasses and not carrying a cane, and asked all casually if he could grab and application and bring it back the next day.

And he spent all night filling it and brought it back the next day. He didn’t mention that he was blind or that the application had taken six hours to finish with the help of his sighted brother.” [End quote]

Seb has no obligation to reveal any personal information to them. If he wants to fill out the application on his own time, in a way in which he feels comfortable, that is fine. However, the book implies he thought he would not be hired if they knew he was blind. Rather than talk about the employment discrimination that is such a huge problem for blind people, the book decides to skip over this. And rather than address Emma’s fear-based expectation that she will never get a job, presumably because she doesn’t think blind people can do anything, the book ignores it.

Seb getting a job, especially in this way, does absolutely nothing to assuage Emma’s fears. Or challenge any possible low expectations the readers may have.

Seb fills out the application by himself and it takes six hours. Six. Hours. His brother also helps him eventually and it still takes that long. No one I know, even with intense internalized ableism, would sit there for six hours doing something like that.

Seb should be using a magnifying device or a scanner app. There is tons of technology out there for people with low vision and the author chose to include absolutely none of it in the book. Instead, she chose to show a character struggling for six hours without exploring his reasons for doing so. Does he do this because of internalized ableism? If yes, how can the same character tell Emma the school will get rid of her “Poor Blind Kid bullshit”?

Now, in some families and some cultures, it would be more appropriate for a family member to help. However, the author tells us nothing more about Seb’s culture, his family life, or his motivations. I assume he did not ask for his brother’s help until later, because I can’t fathom why having a family member help from the start would take six hours.

Why is a character doing this in a story that is supposed to be about adjusting to blindness? Clinging to his remaining vision instead of using a few adaptive tools to make things easier on his eyes hardly makes him a good role model for Emma. Why is a character modeling independence in this specific way? In a way that tells Emma that it is better to struggle with a little vision than to be totally blind?

This is reinforced when Emma says some kids, including Seb, pass well. This is something that cannot be given nuance unless it is written by someone who experienced it. Otherwise, the story shows Emma over and over again that being blind is bad. Undesirable. Which is ableist.

Do people struggle with this? Absolutely. Did the author write it well? No.

And Here Are a Few Things That Could Have Been Done Better

In this section, I wanted to go over things I thought could have been done better. They aren’t necessarily harmful, but I wanted to mention them.

Sunglasses

The main character wears sunglasses when she goes out. This is likely because she has a scar she feels self-conscious about, but this is still a big stereotype that the author could have taken more care with.

O&M Issues

So Emma has someone come around to teach her orientation and mobility, which was nice. The author put in her research here as well. However, the instructor leaves after a time, which seems odd. Rather than work with her around her schools or other locations, he decides she has learned all the basics. I received O&M training until university.

Now Let’s Examine The Blind Characters vs Tropes

In this section, I want to go over the biggest tropes in the stories structure, the number of blind characters, and what I normally advise to get around these issues. We’ll see how this advice compares to how the book turned out.

So, the things to look out for are:

-tokenism

-blind characters going blind through trauma

-blind characters being sad about being blind

Examining Tokenism

Emma is not the only blind character. The blind characters include: Emma, Sebastian, Dee, and Annabelle. I normally say to have one other blind character at minimum. The book meets that requirement.

Examining Blind Characters Going Blind Through Trauma

I also normally suggest avoiding characters going blind through trauma, especially main characters. If the writer would like to go ahead with this, I normally suggest 2 or 3 other blind characters who didn’t go blind through trauma. With 2 as the minimum. I admit, I prefer the main character not to be the one going blind through trauma, simply because the main character has so much power in the perception of the reader.

Let us examine each character.

Emma - went blind through a traumatic fireworks accident

Sebastian- unknown

Dee - unknown

Annabelle- went blind through Retinitis Pigmentosa

On the topic of Dee and Seb, Emma does mention they may have better hearing, which she claims you only have if you lose your sight before the age of ten. We can guess that Dee and Seb both went blind in early childhood or were born blind, but we aren’t sure. What I want here is explicit confirmation that other characters didn’t go blind through accidents. We only get that with Annabelle and her RP.

Not only that, but the other blind characters are not in the novel as much. Annabelle only shows up at the end, seemingly as a way for Emma to help another recently blind person to show how she has developed. Seb and Dee are only in a few chapters, mostly as flashbacks. They don’t get much backstory or development either.

However, it fills my minimum requirements, so I’ll let it pass.

Examining Blind Characters Being Sad About Being Blind

This is literally Emma throughout the entire book. Until the last few chapters.

Annabelle has a similar, shorter arc, although she is only 9 at the time. Annabelle comes in near the end of the book.

It is normal for people to need an adjustment period, particularly if they are young. However, to have the entire book consist of Emma being sad and having trauma focused mostly on her blindness is not something I’m okay with. Especially because, as I wrote in this post, it can leave non-blind readers with a very negative impression of blindness. Again, why would I want to read about this arc from an author who isn’t blind? Why make the entire book about adjusting to blindness?

Anyway, then we have Seb and Dee.

There characters were refreshing in this story, which is mostly Emma being sad and angry.

Dee doesn’t seem to be sad, but we don’t know much about her. She does seem well adjusted and laidback. She and Seb go skiing, so that’s something.

Sebastian gets a little more attention in the story. He does tell Emma the school for the blind will knock the “BPK bullshit” or “Poor Blind Kid bullshit” right out of her. I thought it was funny. Sebastian also has a big personality and interests outside of moping about being blind. He enjoys skiing and, according to Emma, he would have no problem with presenting on the Lighthouse For the Blind in front of people who aren’t blind, unlike Emma, who struggles with calling attention to her blindness. Which I can understand, what with the awkward questions her sighted classmates give her.

However, Seb also has an issue with hiding or fighting against his low vision in some parts of the story. If Sebastian were the main character, I could understand some of the things he does. However, this does not go well at all with Emma’s arc.

Anyway, Seb and Dee don’t get nearly enough time in the book for me to feel 100% comfortable using them as exceptions.

How Would a Sensitivity Reader Help?

If I were doing a sensitivity read for this book, I would suggest including more about Seb and Dee and the school for the blind. I would have explained that the way the story sidelines them shows Emma is not okay associating with her blind friends. I would have asked for more backstory, more contrast between them and the main character, and possibly a few more blind characters Emma met at the school for the blind.

If the writer was insistent on having Emma go blind in an accident, I would have suggested reducing the time she spent depressed and shifting the focus from her blindness to her traumatic accident. I would have had the author work harder to separate the two, even if it took Emma a while to do so. I would have also suggested reducing Emma’s remarks or have them called out. For example, her comments about not being able to get a job or beautiful schools being lost on blind people. Sebastian would have been excellent in this role.

I would have worked with her to either get rid of or subvert the list of stereotypes. Most of them are easy fixes.

I would have told her blind people don’t use canes in their houses. I would have given suggestions for assistive technology for Seb to use. I would have helped her with the section on trauma and blindness, reducing or erasing a lot of the issues I included there. I would have suggested giving Emma an arc that isn’t entirely about adjusting to blindness, even if her story starts with going blind.

I probably would have seemed nicer about my feedback because the author still had opportunity to make changes.

The author could have done more research on stereotypes and cane usage, but I think there is an important lesson here about the benefits of sensitivity readers.

In the end, a sensitivity reader would have fixed most of the problems in this story, despite the amount of research the author did. Research cannot always teach you everything and that is where a sensually or authenticity reader comes in. Moreover, there is a certain respect in involving communities you are representing. In paying them in money or exposure. In listening to their voices and respecting what they say. If the author was willing to learn Braille and sit with blind people to learn about canes and technology, why did she stop at getting sensitivity readers? Why does it feel like she didn’t want to include the blind community in any meaningful way?

I hope this helps someone.

-BlindBeta

#blind person reviews a review tag #book talk ; let’s review published books #review #blind representation #blind #blind characters #writing blind characters #trauma narrative #stereotypes #blind tropes #eye trauma #ableism

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cotccotc · 3 years

Text

SKZ REACT to...

◈ you being followed

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon ♡ )

genre/s: comfort, skz x gn reader

warning/s: description of being followed on the street, descriptions / mentions of panic attacks

wc: 1.8k

a/n: this one took me quite a while but i’m happy with it !!! i decided to write out a longer introduction to this to kinda set up a scene !! i hope y’all enjoy it (esp the comforting parts ofc kdjdjf)

it’s somewhat unlike you to walk alone at night. you figured it would only take you a few minutes, but you got out of work late, setting you back quite a while. to make things worse, while you were working overtime, the sun had set, leaving you to traverse the dimly lit city streets on your own. all you know is that your boyfriend left the door open for you, and a couch date sounds really great right now.

somewhere along your walk, you heard a shuffling noise coming from behind you. you disregarded it, thinking it may have been simple paranoia. you’ve seen too many movies, you think. however, as you keep up your leisurely yet steady pace, you hear another noise. this time you turn around.

a man. in a black hoodie. looking you dead in the eye.

your eyes widen as a small gasp leaves your mouth. needless to say, you begin sprinting to your destination, heart racing at a pace that rivals the speed of your feet. with your focus aimed at getting as far away as you can, you’re honestly not even sure how your legs know where they’re going. nevertheless, your saving grace comes into view. after a quick glance at the now empty street behind you, you sprint even faster than before. and, once you make it to the apartment door, you fling the door open and leap inside with enough force to rattle the hinges.

“y/n? what’s wro-”

“i was being followed,” you interject, a choked sob finally escaping you.

◈ CHAN

his first instinct, no matter what, is to make sure you feel safer now.

he’ll sit you down on the couch, staying close beside you and rubbing your back while reiterating that whoever that man was is gone now.

i’ve always liked to think he’d be good to have around in the event of a panic attack. especially if you’re the type of person who needs physical and verbal reassurance. back rubs, hugging, and breathing reminders galore.

once you’ve calmed down, he would wipe away your tears and hold you close to him as he asks you about the rest of your day.

he’s an amazing listener and he can’t wait to hear about the latest employee or customer gossip lmao

but more importantly, it would take your mind off things, which is all he truly wants.

if you start looking a bit gloomy or drifting off in thought, he’d probably suggest some cuddle time !! he would make sure to remind you of how courageous you were in that moment before promising you one last time that you’re safer now, here with him.

you’d finally fall asleep in his arms, filling him with relief.

◈ MINHO

first reaction: absolutely pissed.

not at you of course, but at the guy who was following you. with you still in his arms, he glances pointedly out the front door and the windows, closing the blinds after giving the entire apartment a once-over.you end up in the bedroom, in which he’ll guide you to sit beside him on the bed.

his expression will have completely changed from anger to loving concern. he’d look deeply into your eyes while holding both your hands in his, assuring you that you’re safe now.while you continue to cry, you explain what had happened in more detail. he strokes your hair as you speak and nods along, blood boiling.

he can’t stand the thought of any person making you feel unsafe. but, he’d maintain a calm exterior in order to make you feel more at ease.

once you describe the whole situation, he’d reassure you once again that the man can’t get to you now.

“he’ll have to get through me.”

you giggle.

“hEY”

◈ CHANGBIN

i think he’d have a similar reaction to minho !!

very visibly pissed that some random guy had the nerve to intimidate you. that dude’s lucky he didn’t follow you the whole way home or else he’d probably be pretty uh. damaged. by now..

he’d sit you down on the couch, do a quick check-in at each of the windows and doors, and come back as soon as he can to console you.

when he does, he’s quick to sit beside you, arm wrapped around you with the other wiping the tears off of your face.

after you explain the situation a bit more clearly, he becomes even more angry (probably mutters some curses under his breath)

but !!!! i think he’d really try his best to focus on cheering you up

asking you what you’d like to do for the rest of the night, if you’d like any food, if you’d like to sleep or stay up for a while.. etc.

plus he’d amp up the silly antics to make you forget about things !!

◈ HYUNJIN

i think his physical reaction would become similar to yours. very quickly.

like once he sees your tears and senses your quickened pulse. his immediate response (whether voluntary or not) would be to emulate you.

so, naturally, he’d hold you in his arms and let you cry it out, while small sobs of his own escape him.

seeing you so scared is a scary feeling.

of course, he’d reassure you that you’re safe !!! he’d look into your eyes, tucking your hair behind your ears, and tell you that it’s all over now and that you’re safe.

you, of course, don’t want him to feel sad or scared, so you’d console him as well.

you two would comfort each other the whole rest of the night. i think the most probable option would be the two of you cuddled up in bed watching a movie or reading webtoons together

distraction !! but make it a drama !! or a romcom because .. vibes !!

and when you decide it’s time for bed (however late that may be due to the stress from earlier) he’d be sure to remind you that he’ll be with you all night & when you wake up

(but he’s also secretly clinging onto you out of fear as well kdjfgj)

◈ JISUNG

“oh sh- oh sHIT-”

wouldn’t know what in the fuck to do

would haphazardly check all the windows like minho did, holding your hand as you continue to cry

after he’s done, he’d cling to you and hold you SO very tight <3

lots of “shh shh baby.. baby shhhh” and all that jazz.. you know the sungie vibes…

he’d stroke your hair and arms, noticing your slight shakiness and suggesting you both cuddle for some extra comfort and warmth

no matter what time of night it is, he’d turn off the lights and cuddle with you as you describe the event in more detail

quiet & calm

even if you end up crying again while you speak, he’s there to brush the tears off your face with his thumb and help you calm down again

◈ FELIX

before you came, he might have cooked a small meal for the two of you to share. even though you worked late, it’d still be waiting for you when you arrive. he’d wait too.

when you do happen to burst through the door, he’d jump and gasp out of fear but he’s quick to run up to you and hold you as you let out everything you’d held in during your walk-turned-chase

also !! will help you get settled in as you describe what went down

helping you take off your coat and shoes, getting water for you, grabbing some blankets; all while listening intently and giving you all of his attention

once you’re seated on the couch, wrapped in the softest blanket he could find and staying hydrated after such a harrowing event, he’d be sure to hold you as close as possible to remind you that everything’s okay

eventually, through his subtle gestures and calming demeanor, you won’t even realize how you got situated !! he just knows what to do to make you as comfortable as possible without even trying all that hard

you may choose to skip dinner, but no matter what, he’ll be holding you close the whole night through to make sure you know he’s there to protect and care for you

◈ SEUNGMIN

he’s very methodical about how to proceed. his first instinct is to do what some of the others would and check the house, but he decides to help you calm down first.

you’re rambling about what happened in between sobs and quick breaths, which sends a pain through his heart as he shuts and locks the door.

if you’re shorter than him, he’d bend a little to make direct eye contact with you. he’ll rub your arms and tell you that you don’t have to be afraid anymore

the most calming and reassuring voice in the whole world omg !!!!!!

he’d wipe your tears away and cup your face with both of his hands, prompting you to look back into his eyes before smiling at you

“you’re safe now, right?”

you smile back at him, nodding.

“now, let’s lock all the doors so no bad guys can get in!”

then, he’d take your hand and let you help him lock the doors and shut the curtains, making it feel like a chore instead of a precaution

and for your “good work”, he’d reward you with some binge watching & cuddle time !!! (as if that wasn’t the original plan skjdfg)

◈ JEONGIN

(under his breath, eyes wide) “oh my god…”

i think he’d start freaking out a bit like hyunjin did, but he’d do his very best to hide it. he knows he has to be strong to help you calm down and feel safe.

like felix, he’d help you take off your coat and shoes, leading you over to the couch as you shakily describe what happened.

(i’m sorry i keep making comparisons to the other members bUT) like minho, he’d hold your hands in his, rubbing them softly with his thumbs to soothe your nerves as you let everything out

he’d try to cheer you up by suggesting alternative motives the man might’ve had instead of wanting to harm you

for instance:

jeongin: “what if he was lost and needed directions but he was too shy to ask because you’re so pretty/handsome?”

you: “babe i don’t think-”

jeongin: “OR what if he thought he knew you !!”

you: “but he-”

jeongin: “WHAT IF IT WAS BATMAN-”

overall, his aim is to distract you (as well as himself), which ends in success. you’ll both be in stitches by the end of the night

and… laughing is super tiring, right?

therefore, as reiterated throughout all of these reactions because we all know it’s true:

CUDDLESSSS

oh also.. right before you fall asleep in his arms, he’d ask if you want to leave the light on during the night :( bc he’s a cutie :((((

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #straykidsland #*fics #*8 #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8

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authorkun · 3 years

Text

[𝙎𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙖𝙘] (06)

"𝙎𝙤 𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙, 𝙝𝙪𝙝."

Itadori let a bitter chuckle. "That's just what happens to people like us, huh." Ijichi shrugged, glancing at the floor. "It's something that happens." The pinkette's fist clenched. "You can't control what happens to your comrades. Out of everything I've seen on the sidelines, that's one of the things even Gojo can't control."

Itadori's hand released itself, as he walked off our of the room, the older following shortly after.

'It just happens... tch'

While the two were distracted in their conversation, they failed to realize the small spark of (f/c) that came from M/n's skin.

————————————————

"That's a shame. Now I have to restate the report to the higher-ups." Shoko grumbled. "I don't want you to change them."

"Huh?" The female's beach craned next to her. "I don't want you to change the reports, I want Itadori to "stay dead"." Gojo reiterated.

"Just what are you planning Gojo?" Shoko questioned. Before she could continue, a loud yell that had echoed down the hallway tore their attention away. "Did that come from the infirmary?"

Gojo placed his finger over his lips, signaling to stay silent. Another scream ripped through the silence, as the two started to jog back down the corridor. Stopping at the door the pair were met with chaos.

Ijichi shook like a leaf as he pointed to the patch of floor next to one of the tables. Itadori, stood frozen as his gaze was also locked in with the same sight. "G-Go....G-G-Gojo!.....h-h-he-!"

Looking to where the fear frozen two we're looking at the table that held the sorcerer was empty. Casting his gaze downwards, Gojo saw the same body that was once on the table crumpled on the form.

"What do you mean? Did one of you do this?" Shoko asked, a twitch engraving her features. The two quickly shook their heads.

"N-No!" The pair spoke together. Just then, a loud groan echoed the room. Bringing their eyes back to the floor, it was also empty. Instead the body was slumped over top of another examination table. "Gojo-!" An arm pushed her back. "No."

"Gojo! He wasn't killed with cursed energy!" Shoko protested. Gojo made his way over to the slouched form. Before he could make contact, a fist came swinging towards him. Catching the fist, another one came after. Following the same fate, the other wrist was caught. In front of Gojo, M/n barely stood up right.

"Where am I?" The hoarse voice questioned. A venomous tone, Gojo had only heard once before. "Jujutsu Tech."

"Great." He sarcastically remarked. Ripping his arms from the shamen, M/n wobbled once more supporting himself at a table. Small pants and gasps were all that filled the room. "How long was I out?"

"7 hours. But you-!" Shoko argued. "I'm fine." A cough racked his body as his tumbled to the floor. Gojo grabbed the teen, and sat him on the previous table. Finally getting a better glance at his appearance, Gojo analyzed the new changes.

His (h/c) hair had blotches of white splotching the color. His eyes having hues of (f/c) decorating his irises. Letting out a labored breath he fell backwards. Shoko immediately grabbed her supplies as she started to read his vitals.

"L/n! L/n! Are you there?" Shoko snapped her finger in front of the male's face. Slapping her hand away, M/n started to sit up again. "I'm fine, just get me clothes." Gojo sent a look towards the still shaken Ijichi. "Ijichi you head him." A relieved expression crossed his features as he quickly ran out.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Shoko continued, shining a flashlight into M/n's eyes. "Nanami."

"Do you remember what happened?" Flashes of bits of memories ran across his mind. A pain crossing through his head immediately. "S-shit."

Just as Gojo started to move, a hand shot out towards him. "S-stop I'm okay." The slight shuffle of feet caught his ears, as his attention was brought to Itadori.

"No good morning or "You're back!"?" The same cold tone laced his voice. Sarcasm dripped with every word. "..." Taking the first-year's silence as an answer, M/n started to slowly stand up. Wrapping the white sheet around his waist, he started towards the door. Before going out, a grip tightened around his wrist.

Turning back, he was met with the covered eyes of his former sensei. "What happened to you?" Snatching his arm out of the tight grip, M/n continued his path. "Nothing that matters you."

With that, his form disappeared from sight.

Itadori's hand clenched around the front of his shirt, gripping at the material over where his heart would be. A frown evident on his face. "Was that really M/n?"

"I....don't know..."

With M/n

"This is what you get for whoring around!"

"No! Please! I have a family!"

"It's too late for that."

Another migraine filled the male's head, as he groaned in pain. Leaning up against the wall, soft pants left his mouth. 'Why the hell am I having these memories?' Starting his trip back to his room, another wave of pain washed over him.

"Why do you stay here?"

"It's peaceful. I don't have to deal with the crowds of villages here in my palace."

"Aren't you more susceptible to getting attacked?"

"Well, sooner or later I'll die. I'm just a human after all. I've already accepted my fate."

The gruff familiar voice held a soft tone. 'What's happening?'

'THUD'

The sudden drop echoed the empty corridor, as another figure showed up pulling the teen up. "You're so stubborn." The figure started to carry M/n back to the infirmary.

Brushing the (h/c)-ette's cheek a bittersweet smile graced the person's face.

"Someday you're not going to wake up, if you're so careless."

Timeskip

Waking up with a pained groan, M/n cracked open his eyes. The smell of medical-grade alcohol and cleaning supplies filled his nose, as his stare burned into the ceiling above.

'So it wasn't a dream.' Sitting up, the warm feeling of clothes enveloped his form. A small piece of paper brushed against his hand. Looking down, the small messy handwriting belonged to none other than a certain snowy haired Jujutsu sorcerer.

"Don't be dumb! I put an extra clothes next to you if you need them!"

P.S. WEAR THEM

-Gojo 😌

A dry chuckle left his lips, at his sensei's stupid antics. Finally standing up, M/n noticed the unsteadiness of his step gone. 'I guess Shoko used her technique.'

Heading out, he started a path to his dorm. Arriving in front of his room, he cracked open the door. Another glitch covered his vision, this time flashes of blood painted across decorated sliding paper doors.

'Dammit, what's wrong with me?'

Stumbling into the darkness, he slumped onto the surface of his bed once more passing out.

Timeskip 2 days

"What do you mean he's gone?" Gojo shrugged his shoulders. "Don't really know. He left a note saying he had business to do. He does this often. He might be back tomorrow or next week. Maybe even a month."

Itadori's shoulders slumped, as a frown became evident. 'Is he ignoring us? Did I do-?!' A fist came in contact with his cheek. "OW?!" The cursed corpse danced around victoriously, before once more falling asleep.

Yuuji rubbed the injured cheek in pain. "That hurts!" Gojo chuckled at the first-year's struggle, as the sounds of the movie played in the background. Currently the two were lounged in the basement, as Itadori continued his "training".

When Gojo went to check on the (h/c)-ette, he was completely gone from sight. Even with six eyes, the male hadn't seem to be anywhere. That was the thing the snowy haired sorcerer always had trouble with. Whenever he looked for the teen, even when he was younger, seemed to disappear from his radar.

"Don't you have some kind of power to find him!" Itadori whined, still recuperating from the punch to his face. "That's the thing, M/n has always found a way to drop out of it. So eventually if I tried, I won't be able to find him." Gojo shrugged nonchalantly.

"Besides you should be focusing on your training~"

The pinkette groaned in response.

With Megumi and Nobara

"Where's that L/n?!" The buff male's voice echoed down the hall. "Why does it matter to you?!" Nobara yelled back. "His taste in women! I want to know, so I can beat him to a pulp." Mai rolled her eyes.

"It doesn't matter. He's not here."

"Fushiguro! What's your taste in women?" Todo shouted accusingly. "What?" Fushiguro stood dumbfounded. "It's fine if you like men though!"

The sight of a laughing M/n crossed his mind. Megumi quickly cursed himself for thinking of the (h/c) head. "I guess someone with a good personality."

With that, a punch had flew towards the poor raven head's face.

With M/n

"You look young to be traveling 'round 'ere." The old women's face held a sharp glint. The woman before him wore a traditional floral kimono. She was fairly attractive for her age and had streaks of grey pinned in her tight bun. A sharp stare engraved her eyes. "I'm here to sight see. I've heard the flowers are in full bloom here."

The woman gave an unimpressed look. "You Jujutsu sorcerers just keep on coming don't ya'?" M/n's face contorted into confusion, as the woman made a beckoning motion with her hand to follow her. "Well come on!"

Following after her small form, the petite woman continued a small path up to the traditional house. "Where are we going?" A sudden hand slapped the back of his neck. "What was that for-?!"

"Don't ya city doers know any respect? You have to change 'fore doin' anything first. It's how we do things 'round here." One of the sliding doors flew open. "My name's Tadaiyoka Shinya, keeper of this shrine. You sorcerers are persistent ones aren't ya?" She threw a navy blue yukata towards him.

"If I may ask, why is there frequent shamen visits?" He stood behind the changing blind. "Shouldn't I be the one asking ya that." Tadaiyoka's voice sounded cold and sarcastic. "..."

The ravenette rolled her eyes. "You really don't know do ya? Yer friends sure had an idea."

"I'm not sure what you mean." M/n stated, pulling off the last article of clothing. "Their usual answer is that the shrine has a curse protecting this land. If you know what that means, I would like to know too." M/n pulled on the yukata, as a twinge of familiarity pulled at him.

Pulling back the blind, he went and sat on the tatami mats across from the female. "Tell me the rest of the story first, and we might have a deal." M/n poured both himself and the woman a cup of tea that occupied the small table.

Tadaiyoka scoffed haughtily. "We have a deal." She lifted the small cup to her lips. "Centuries ago, this village used to be the beacon of life and festivities. We lived in content from the protection and peace the gods had graced us with. The continuation of our peacefulness separated us from the other villages being torn apart from evilness. That was until a young man had started to live out in the abandoned palace north of 'ere.

The scrolls the priests had wrote, explained how he was the bringer of evil and the sole reason the peace had vanished. A devil called Sukuna Ryomen had rained terror on numerous villages until it stopped. For 5 years time, everything was at peace. A certain priest wanting to know what was the cause of such an occurrence, started to investigate.

That's when he found out Sukuna was living dormant in the palace alongside of the young man from before. One scroll said it was possible the young priest knew the man. Out of anger and disgust, immediately told the elders who went to the male's estate claiming the need for evidence.

That night when the moon hit its peak, the once dormant demon known as Sukuna Ryomen once more brought his destruction down on countless villages including this one. Legend says the devil had taken the poor male hostage the entirety of those years.

The shrine in what used to be an imperial garden, sits alongside a field of only red spider lilies. The flowers never die, as the shrine is protected from outside forces. That same force which protects the old palace.

An old tale says the body of the young man can found under the heart of the garden. Casted away from public eye. Now that I think of it, those priests were your people weren't they?" The woman took another sip of her tea.

Flashes of memories crossed M/n's head once more as memories that had seemed he himself had owned them played over beneath his eyes. "Back when I was a child I would read scrolls depicting the golden age of sorcery, none of them containing that story though."

"What's your name?" M/n looked questioningly towards the female. "L/n M/n." Tadaiyoka's eyes suddenly blew open. "That's utterly impossible. I'm sorry but I can't allow clown like ya to be 'round here." Tadaiyoka stood up grabbing a pole, pointing it at the male's neck.

"What do you mean? That's my name lady. You have to be the one joking here." M/n deadpanned.

"Stop fucking 'round!"

"I'm not! You stop!" Suddenly the older had yanked the poor male out the doors dragging him across the path. "Hey stop-!"

When the female had finally stopped, she pulled him in front of shrine. "Take a look."

Stepping closer to the rock, the name engraved sent chills down his spine. Backing away, his sight started to become blurry. "T-that's impossible h-how?"

Tadaiyoka crossed her arms. "You tell me." M/n gulped air, as his mouth became completely dry. "I-I d-don't understand."

Taidaiyoka finally glanced at the teen's face, as her hard expression softened to something more empathic and almost motherly. Squatting down next to teen's side she hesitantly touched the side of his face.

"That had to be a coincidence, r-right?" M/n's chest heaved out a shaky breath. "The scrolls depict a man similar to you. At first I thought is was a coincidence at first too. Im not sure how though." The graying woman, looked out at the field before them.

Another pain flooded over the male's senses, as the same memories washed over his mind.

"DONT YOU SEE? HE'LL KILL YOU!"

A man no older than his early twenties yelled at M/n. His hair a mess as his entire body.

"I don't fear him, and you of all people should know master death doesn't terror me either."

The man suddenly grabbed onto his shoulders shaking him.

"You don't understand! Whatever spell he has you under, is messing with your thoughts! L/n-San! HE'LL KILL YOU!"

"Then let that be that."

M/n snapped out of the trance as Tadaiyoka fanned his face with the folding fan she held. "What did you see?"

"I...I was in someone else's point of view. This man was screaming at the person about someone killing them. I-I think he was talking about Sukuna." M/n's head felt light.

"This only happens every thousands of centuries, but I may know what is causing this. Come." She made another beckoning motion to follow her. "Where are we going?"

Tadaiyoka hadn't looked back, continuing to lead M/n.

"To see one of your people."

#jjk #jjk x male reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x male reader #seme male reader #itadori x male reader #gojo satoru x male reader #oc #sukuna ryomen x male reader

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alfredosauce50 · 3 years

Text

From a past life [Yandere vampire! Romania x reader]

Synopsis: For centuries, he waited for your return--your rebirth. So when he finally learns of your whereabouts just outside of Wallachia, he rushes to meet you in hopes of becoming what you both used to be. But he runs into a predicament when he learns you're in a relationship with a man, a pesky human mortal by the name of Daniel. He'll do anything to get rid of him, even if he has to play dirty. He made a promise to you that he would find you for the rest of your lifetimes, so God forbid that he breaks it. Wordcount: 3, 813 The reader is referred to as she/her.

A trip to Romania had always been on your bucket list. Your boyfriend was just as excited to go, but he wouldn’t have been if it turned out to be the last trip you'd ever go on with him.

Today was when you would visit the highlight of your itinerary. On the Transylvania side of the border with Wallachia, and nestled in miles of rolling hills, was Bran castle. The awe-inspiring fortress told one of the most famous tales of old as Count Dracula's abode. Or at least, it was rumored to be as it fit the description of it.

Needless to say, you were dragging him around the estate to admire anything and everything that piqued your interest or served as a potential photo spot. “Oh, hurry up, Daniel! This is where he slept!” Scrambling closer to the grand bed, which was certainly framed with more wood than needed, you leaned in behind the red rope that fenced off the artifact. Then, you flashed him a wide grin.

He returned the gesture with a tender smile of his own. “I'm as old as this castle, kicsim. Let me take things in slowly.”

“You're only three years older than me. I don't think you have the right to call me little or yourself old.” Flattening your lips at that, your frown melted away as quickly as it appeared.

“But look! Dracula's sheets and mattress. Though it would make more sense to say it was Vlad's... The guy he was based on. Hmm, but that wouldn't make sense either.”

The man rubbed the nape of his neck with a soft laugh. It was no doubt he shared your enthusiasm, but your unapologetic passion always made him fall harder than he already had. “Yep. I believe he was imprisoned here. I don't think he'd be getting the master bedroom.” He appeared from behind and rested himself on your head as you placed a pistol grip on your chin.

“Even then, I can't imagine him sleeping so soundly after sticking so many sticks up people's--” Two strong arms squeezed around your waist to make you gasp.

“Ah-!”

“Okay! What do you say we go down to the gardens for a walk, hm?”

And that was exactly what the two of you did. Skipping out in front of him, you held onto his hands and swung his arms. “I'm gonna go down to the pond, okay? You can enjoy this place nice and slowly like the old person you are.”

This was the greenest garden you ever had the pleasure to stroll through, even the tea house blended in with its moss-covered roof. It only emphasized how ancient this castle really was, and something about it delighted you in ways you couldn't articulate.

“Alright, kicsim. I'll see what nice flowers I'll add to my hair.” Daniel scooped the pink blossom from his hazel brown bangs and placed it behind your ear. “When I do, I'll come get you. Don't let any vampires find you before I do.” Shooting you a wink at that, you pecked him on the nose before running off.

Who would have thought those words would ring truer than he intended? Several miles away, slept a man who was as old as Bran castle. His name too was Vlad, though he never earned such a fearsome reputation by impaling his enemies. Instead, he kept a low profile and dedicated his long, neverending life to finding someone.

Every restless night, she was what he dreamed of since her passing.

When I go, promise me you'll find me again.

Promise me.

Fluttering his eyes awake, they glowed a blood-red in the darkness of his bedroom. They drooped with a tiredness that never seemed to go away no matter how much he rested.

Sliding off the mattress, he folded the flaps of his robes tightly around his body before making his way into the halls. Every corner of this humble countryside cottage he called his home was enshrouded with shadows, and not to mention the thick coating of dust caking the top of every shelf, couch, and tabletop.

He hadn't cleaned this house for centuries. His will to try withered away through the years in his lonesome, but he was patient. Peeking through the gap between the curtains of his overgrown hair, his irises shrunk as the blinding daylight poured into them through the drapes of his living room window. He could feel it in his dead still heart.

Something had changed.

Out there in the world scorched by the sun, was something even warmer. And it was so familiar, so tender, he could not mistake it for anything else, or anybody else for that matter.

She was nearby, and the thought filled him to the brim with a joy so potent, tears of relief welled in his wide eyes. He had waited hundreds of years for this moment. For her return. Her rebirth that would usher in his own.

The prospect was so invigorating, he felt as if his heart began to beat again. He never felt so alive. Scurrying back to his bedroom, he sat in front of his vanity to access his appearance. He had to look presentable before meeting her, hadn't he? A bedhead like this and nightwear would simply not do.

Especially when he hadn't cut his hair for at least twenty years.

Giving his long locks of strawberry-blonde a thorough comb, he let it fall straight down to his lower back. With a few quick snips, he shortened his bangs by a few inches to give the impression he had some sort of control over an otherwise uncontrollable mane of hair.

As he shed himself of his robes in exchange for day clothes, a white dress shirt paired with dark plaid pants, one singular thought repeated in his head like a broken record. As morbid as it sounded, it was more of a Godsend than anything.

Death was never the end. Not for her, and not for him. Or rather, a new beginning.

But it didn't start the way he imagined. Following her sweet scent to the gardens of the famed Bran castle, he found the smell growing more and more pungent, albeit confused. It was mixed with another's, tainted by the stench of a human male. His irises thinned to slits, and he tensed up all over. How could this be?

Hiding behind a tree, he peered over the side to confirm his suspicion.

There she was, her beauty as pristine and untouched as the last time he loved her. For just one second, he was over the moon. But his euphoria was short-lived when he saw that she was with a man. Kissing him, even. Even though it was just on the nose, any further down her face would have caused him to start an apocalypse.

That insignificant, trifling, and scheming little creature. He was about to reap what he sowed. How dare he take his place? It was him she was meant to with, not that pesky mortal!

Whipping his head to the front, his eyes went round with disbelief and his breathing grew ragged. An unfathomable ache spread in his chest as he dug his nails into the bark. How could he have let this happen? It took every shred of his willpower to keep the waterworks at bay.

His throbbing heart was also weighed down with a pang of heavy guilt. To allow another soul to be this close to her was a grave disservice to the promise he made. But that didn't mean he couldn't undo this.

In just a few seconds, he formulated an intricate plan to carry out well-deserved revenge. To have her in his arms again, and him, out of the picture where he belonged. In the blink of an eye, he appeared behind the man and tapped him on the shoulder. When he spun around, he grabbed him by the neck and caught him in a trance with his hypnotizing, inhuman gaze.

“You will give these flowers to the nearest young woman you see. Put them in her hair and kiss her on the lips.” Opening his own palm, he materialized three peonies before placing them in the other's.

Unable to escape the powerful snare cast by a vampire such as himself, Daniel did so as told. “I will give these flowers to the nearest young woman I see. I will put them in her hair and kiss her on the lips.” He reiterated monotonously with his eyes glazed over.

Watching the helpless man saunter off, he smirked devilishly as he exchanged glances with his long-lost lover. This would hurt her a great deal, but she would only be devastated if he never did it.

You had been watching the pond, completely ignorant to the scene that was about to unfold. Little did you know, it was purposely orchestrated. Using a stick to prod at your reflection, you lingered on the ripples distorting it before glancing up. In the distance was none other than your boyfriend, and judging from the pink in his hands, he found his flowers.

So you stood up. You would have snuck up on him as a surprise, but your feet remained firmly planted on the ground when you witnessed him give it away, then flirt with another woman. It couldn't be mistaken for anything else. He was kissing her!

Frankly, you couldn't believe it. One year was all it took for him to lose interest? Blood flushed your face as bile rose in your throat. How could he? And during a vacation at that, too! Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes, but you blinked them away when you heard the light treading of feet nearby.

This had to be a misunderstanding. Right?

Spinning to the source, you found yourself staring at the most peculiar man you had ever seen. He carried a delicate parasol to shade him from the sunlight. Combined with his pasty white skin, it was almost as if he was one of the very mythological creatures the country was renowned for.

He smiled gently, almost understandingly.

“Are you alright, domnișoară? I have a spare handkerchief if you'd like.” His alluring voice was as bewitching as a siren, but his mere presence brought you unspeakable comfort. And yet, he was nothing but a stranger, an odd one at that, so you were at a loss to realize that all it took for you to gravitate towards him was for your eyes to meet.

“I'm okay, thank you. But I couldn't possibly accept something like that. I mean, I don't know you...” Waving your hands at the man apologetically, you took the opportunity to scan him up and down.

As if he walked right out of a fairytale, he oozed prince-like charm. His clothes were traditional and refined, but that long, silky hair of his was certainly a rare sight--rare but breathtakingly beautiful. It gave his character untold notions of grandeur, mystery, and an inexplicable impression he was ancient.

But that couldn't be, not when he didn't look a day over twenty.

“What do you mean, you won't take it? It's yours.” He pulled out a small piece of fabric from his sleeve. Placing the finely embroidered cloth into your palm, he never gave you the chance to object. “It would be rude to regift something, so you'll have to keep it forever.” Mischief curled at his lips, and you couldn't help but laugh a little.

“Alright, alright, you got me there.”

You dabbed away the moisture before breathing out a sigh.

“I'm sure you're a very nice person, but I can't bother you more than I already have. Thank you, again, Mr. Vampire.” If it weren't for how heartbroken you were, you would have been mortified. Being pitied by a Romanian local was never part of your plan.

Just when you were betrayed by Daniel, he appeared like a knight in shining armor. If only you could forget what happened between you and your boyfriend. Otherwise, you would be bragging about meeting a vampire in Romania for as long as you could talk.

“Mr. Vampire?” He lifted his head before revealing a pair of sharp fangs in a grin. Now that caught you off guard. “You don't see me calling you miss human--and I have a name, thank you very much.” As he placed his gloved hand on his chest to playfully feign offense, he bit back another smile at the sound of your amused giggling.

Despite what happened a few minutes ago, talking to this actor was making you feel better already.

“And let me guess, is it Alucard?” You shook your head. “Or is it Vlad? You can't possibly call yourself Dracula looking like that.”

He blinked incredulously, then curved an arm over his face as if to cover himself with his non-existent cloak. “How did you know?”

“That your name is Alucard?”

“No, Vlad.”

“Okay, close enough. It was nice meeting you, Vlad, but I have a stupid boyfriend to scream at.” At the mention of that, you looked like you were on the verge of tears again. “All I'm hoping is that he's still my boyfriend after this. If only he were as much of a gentleman as you.”

He reflected your distress in a frown, and you would have been surprised by how much this apparently bothered him. But you already walked off. So he offered one last niceity before you strayed too far. “Good luck with your boyfriend.”

“No promises.”

He let those two words affect him more than he intended. Needless to say, he moved on quickly to watch you run to the unsuspecting brunette. Soon, his anguish was staved off by the sight of you shoving him back a few steps.

What looked like a one-sided argument broke out, and all the poor, confused man could do was just that--be confused. Shortly after, you stormed off, and he jogged behind, desperately calling your name.

A sinister smile cracked at Vlad's lips, and his irises glowed red. That little thing had no idea what was yet to happen to him.

That night, Daniel took you to the Brașov city hall for dinner. The beautiful buildings surrounding a fountain were as traditional as they were clean. Too bad your zeal was burned away by your anger. In the few hours in the hotel before, he barely managed to soothe it by explaining himself. A given, considering his explanation made no sense whatsoever.

He couldn't remember flirting with a woman.

“I think we could share a pizza. Are you okay with that?” Lifting his gaze to meet yours, you only turned away to stare out the window into the endless night. Your spaciness was deserved on his part, but little did he know, it only had so much to do with his wrongdoings.

The eccentric local never left your mind. After all, he gave you something to smile about with his whimsical kindness.

Vlad must have been an entertainer, a virtuoso at that, but his actions never came off as ingenuine. To be frank, you were drawn to his sincerity, and even looking for him subconsciously, wishing that he could magically appear because you willed it.

If only Daniel could be just as sincere.

“I must be okay with a lot of things.” His face fell. The same sorrow from when he was at the hotel room returned, but you couldn't care to give it any attention. “Like you pretending you didn't kiss someone right in front of me because you don't remember. I'm not stupid. Who else would have long hair tied back and flowers in their fringe?”

Daniel knitted his brows so tightly together, creases formed between them. “... I know it sounds like I'm lying, but I swear to you I didn't do it. You know me, (F/N).” At this point, he hadn't the foggiest what to say to appease you because he simply didn't do it. “I promise. All I'm asking is for you to trust me.”

“You promise?” You fumed.

There was only one thing you hated more than a liar.

“I trusted you, Daniel, I really did. But how could you ask me to trust you after I talked to that girl? She remembered it, so why can't you? Did you think I was that crazily into you I could let anything slide?” The biting truth silenced him, but it was the sound of you choking back tears that broke his heart.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom to think this over.”

He had no way to argue with you, let alone the heart to when it was just broken and crushed to a thin slab of flesh. What if he really did kiss someone, and miraculously forgot?

“When I come back, I better not see you kissing anybody again.”

Standing up at that, he watched you leave with a defeated expression. Then, he folded his arms across the table and buried his face into it. There was no way he could fail that, could he?

What were the odds of kissing someone again when he had absolutely no intention to? The chances were dwindling at zero as he kept his head down. Unless supernatural forces were at work, nothing could get him to budge from sitting at this table.

But even he couldn't count on the world of the mundane to save him.

Sitting a few tables away was the exact opposite of mundane. When the front door slammed shut, he stood up and walked to the customer with their head down. While all the men in the establishment wore their hair short, his was long and flowing like time itself. There was something other-worldly about him. Something ghostly in the way he walked.

With every step he took, his feet never seemed to touch the ground as if he was floating. And his pale complexion was just as macabre as how he carried himself.

Not a minute passed, and Daniel found himself standing outside by the fountain. With absolutely no recollection, he somehow left the restaurant and wound up here in the festive courtyard. As shock paralyzed him from head to toe, the only thought that occurred to him was this. What in the hell was going on?

Rather than sitting head down in the warm restaurant, he was out here, chilled by the biting European cold. Couldn't he have at least remembered the transition?

In front of him was the same woman he supposedly flirted with in the gardens. And judging from the blush on her cheeks, he just threw away all his chances at making up with you.

“Listen, I... I don't know you. Forget me. Forget this ever happened.” Daniel trembled, feeling a chill run down his spine as he staggered back a few steps. It was like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. There was just no sound explanation for this when this situation wasn't sound at all. Whatever it was, this was clearly a case of sabotage.

And like hell he was giving in to whoever that masterminded it.

He ran back inside with a fearful kind of urgency. Rushing back to the table he unwillingly abandoned, he froze when he saw you marching towards him down the aisle with murder on your mind. But death was too lenient a punishment. It would grant him a clean slate, a new beginning from a past life of unfaithfulness.

So he was splashed with a glass of red wine instead.

As the crimson liquid soaked his hair, it spread over his shirt like blood. After you saw what he did, the last shred of hope you didn't know you had died, squelched out there on his clothes for the world to see. A chorus of gasps was heard from every corner of the restaurant. Unbeknownst to the patrons who murmured amongst themselves, it wasn't just any lover's quarrel they were watching.

Daniel's breath hitched as he struggled to process his mortification. Behind you stood the very gentleman that tapped him awake, but he never made the connection between him and his misfortunes.

And perhaps, it was better that way.

After leaving your boyfriend for good, Vlad offered to walk with you around the city. Once again, he had swooped in to save you, only this time around, he was staying.

“So... What are you gonna do now?” He asked, casting a tender gaze your way. Before you could wrap your arms around yourself, he beat you to it and flung his cloak around your body. When you gawked at him, he only grinned toothily with his fangs.

Your cheeks reddened and you turned away. Why he was still in his vampire getup was beyond you. But seeing his enthusiasm only reminded you that you lost yours. “... Book another hotel room. Spend the rest of this holiday crying. Maybe never think of this country ever again.”

“And I'm not letting you do any of those things.” He hummed, giving you a gentle squeeze. “Why do you think I'm walking with you right now, hm? I'm gonna take you around to the best spots in Transylvania. The most haunted ones, I mean. So you can forget about going back to the hotel.”

You sighed but managed a small smile. “That's great and all, but I'm not made of money. And my stuff is all there.”

He squinted. “... Oh yeah. But after we get your stuff, we can go elsewhere, can't we?”

A few laughs fell from your lips. His generosity really knew no bounds. “Your house, then? You do realize I only met you today, right?”

Vlad closed his eyes. He could beg to differ.

“But you're still walking with me alone. In the dark.”

“Only because you saw me cry twice today. I wouldn't be mad if you killed me so I don't have to be so embarrassed.” He frowned at the sound of that, so you added this. “I was just kidding. Something about you just makes me feel... Strangely comfortable. Like I've met you before. Isn't that weird?”

“... Not really.” Reaching the top of a hill, he stared at an old castle in the distance, sitting high up in the mountains. “There's a legend about this city. Hundreds of years ago, a vampire and a human woman fell in love. She died, of course. But people say he's still around, waiting for her to reincarnate so they can be together again.”

The way he spoke was so sad, it was almost as if he was that very vampire himself. But what did that have to do with you?

“... Okay. Then do you think he'll ever find her?”

Vlad turned to you with an unreadable expression, but there was an untold fondness in how he looked at you.

“He already has.”

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the-witty-pen-name · 3 years

Text

Fell in Love in Scotland Pt. 1

Sam Wilson x F!Reader

Warnings: angst; cursing; pining; 18+ in later parts (maybe? not sure yet)

Summary: After finding about the new Captain America, the reader goes to Louisiana to visit Sam.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: So I know this isn’t on my list of things I *should* be working on, but I had this idea today and I had to get it down! This is only going to be 2-3 parts. This is my first time writing for Sam!

I’m taking a small break from working on my other works in progress to focus on getting out as much Sam content as a can before Sam’s (and my) bday on the 14th! Not sure how much I’ll be able to write but that is my hope!

My biggest flex at the moment is sharing a bday with Sam.

This references Civil War, Endgame and Infinity War events in flashbacks but you know, canon is a thing I like to just maneuver around so I’m sorry if there are many major inaccuracies!

This is unedited and please let me know if I missed anything that should be included as a warning.

Taglist is in my bio

You were furious. Without even thinking, you picked up your phone and found him in your contact list. You were fuming, needing to find out what happened so you could help him. You hadn’t talked to him since Tony Stark’s funeral, and you had found out through Banner that Steve had gifted him the shield. You psych yourself out every time you want to reach out and talk to him, but your rage blinded you and took the lead over your usual nervousness.

“What happened?” you ask as soon as the ringing on the other end stops and you know he’s answered. You have the phone balanced on your shoulder as your slipping on your shoes, ready to head out as soon as you can.

“(Y/N)?” he asks, sounding confused. Also, incredibly hurt and rightfully so. You imagined he was watching the same thing as you on television and you thought he’d be as equally mad.

“Sam,” you say, letting out a shaky breath. “The shield.”

There’s nothing but dead air for what feel like forever.

“I gave it up,” he finally answers. You can hear in his voice that there is much more to this than that.

“Are you in D.C.?” you ask, not wanting to push him to talk.

“Delacroix. You don’t have to come-.”

“Can’t come visit a friend?” you ask hopefully. You hear him sigh.

“It’s not a great time,” he says hesitantly.

“Isn’t that when you need friends the most?” you counter, trying to force a happier, more uplifting tone. You try, but you know you still sound miserable. “Please,” you ask again, almost a whisper.

“You’re coming no matter what I say, aren’t you?” he chuckles.

“Pretty much,” you admit, “but I would love it if you actually wanted to see me.”

“You know I would…”

“So that settles it,” you smile, blinking to hold back a couple tears. Your voice breaks just a little. “I’m getting on the first plane I can.”

Before he has a chance to change his mind, you end the call and immediately pack some necessities. You never got out of the habit of always being called off, so many of the things you needed were already packed away in a bag in your closet. It was a comforting thing for you. Like you always had the option to just leave wherever you were. You said it was because of all the times you got pulled away from life because of missions for SHIELD, but it ran a little deeper than that.

God, he’s handsome. That’s the only thing you can think of when you’re finally in front of him again. Your mind is at a complete blank. You should be able to muster up the ability to say something. He’s waiting for you at the airport. You didn’t expect this, but it is Sam. Of course, he was going to meet you when your plane landed. You try your best to clear up the haze in your brain as you walk towards him, and he pulls you into a tight hug.

“I’m happy you’re here,” he mumbles, resting his head on top of your head as you bury your face in his chest. All hopes you had at a cool, collected front when you saw him disappeared. You missed him too much and had gone too long without admitting it to yourself. Tell him you missed him, tell him you’re happy to see him, say anything…

“I want to help,” you say when you both break away. You inwardly cringe. You can’t vocalize anything except turning this into some mission.

“Please can we not talk about the shield?” he asks, and you realize you’ve clearly hit a sore spot. You nod in agreement, feeling terrible for having brought it up so soon. You didn’t want him to think you were prioritizing the shield over him. That wasn’t the case at all. You came here for him, to see him, why the hell couldn’t you act like it.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, earnestly. You had to pull yourself together.

“I appreciate that you are worried about me,” he says slinging an arm over your shoulder as you walk. It feels nice, effortless. “But I donated the shield and after that, it was out of my hands.”

You know he is leaving out a lot, and you know him well enough to know there’s a deeper issue. But, for now, you decide to table it. He tells you about his nephews, and he fills you in on how he’s been able to spend time with them, and it feels so beautifully normal. The world feels like it’s falling apart around you but there’s Sam, pulling you back in like he was always able to do.

“I missed you,” he admits, after there’s a lull in the conversation driving to the house. “I thought maybe I would’ve seen you at the compound, or something before you left after the funeral.”

“I didn’t really have the chance,” you try to gloss over. “I just- After Steve came and said goodbye, I couldn’t stay. It just hurt too much.”

“Steve told you?”

“Not exactly, just a very vague goodbye, but I was able to read between the lines. I knew he wasn’t coming back.”

“What did he say?”

“Just that he wanted to go back and fix things. If he couldn’t have done it here, he wanted a second chance. To get back the time lost. Save Bucky, find Nat, maybe visit Peggy… He just wasn’t ready to stop yet. There was no fight here left, so he went back chasing the ones he felt like he lost?”

He nods, just taking in the information. He tells you about seeing Steve when he came back, about how he got married. He tells you about how Steve gave him the shield, but he thought the right decision was to donate the shield to the Smithsonian. You don’t try to do anything else but listen, and try your best to understand. But hearing Sam not think he could take on the title was heartbreaking. You want to ask him if he regrets it, if he wants to get the shield back, but for now, you know it isn’t the right time. Just tell him you missed him too, please. You can’t do it. The words get stuck in the back of your throat. Why is this so hard?

“Remember when we met?” you ask, looking aimlessly out the window.

“You mean when you drop kicked me at an airport?” he asks with a laugh.

“No- I mean, yes that happened first technically,” you smile. “I was more so thinking about the first time we spoke after that.”

“You mean when you came with Steve to get us out of prison?” he asks, skeptically.

“The very time,” you grin.

“I’m pretty sure the only thing you said was stay low and keep out of my way, if I remember correctly,” he raised an eyebrow.

“No, no in the jet,” you clarify, “Before we went into hiding.”

You sat on the floor across from Sam, you had pulled your torso out of your tactical suit, and had the arms of it tied around your waist. The SHIELD t-shirt you wore underneath was covered in sweat and grime. You rested your head against the cold metal of the plane’s ship and your eyes wandered to Sam.

“Pararescue?” you ask, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” he responds, looking over his equipment that Steve brought with you.

“SR,” you reply. “Well, was.”

“You were Special Reconnaissance?” he asks, and you nod.

“Three tours.”

“Is that why you changed sides?” He continues and you can’t help but smile.

“I guess you can look at it that way.”

“I’m Sam.”

“I know.”

“Well how was I supposed to know that?” he chuckles, crossing his arms, relaxing a bit more. You smirk.

“(Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Sam. Sorry about beating your ass.”

“You got lucky, SR,” he scoffs, and you laugh.

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Wilson,” you laugh.

“You’re lucky we’re on the same side now,” he jokes.

“Oh, I know,” you smile. You get up and head to the cockpit to join Steve.

“I told you that the two of you would hit it off,” he chuckles as you slide into the copilot seat.

“You bring me along just to set me up, Rogers?” you scoff. His cheeks redden a little.

“You know that’s not true…”

“Ugh, you’re just as bad as Natasha, Steve,” you roll your eyes.

“You have shared life experience.”

“He is gorgeous.”

“I’ll tell him you said that.”

“Don’t even think about it Rogers,” you gasp.

Before you know it, Sam is pulling up to your Airbnb.

“Come by the house tomorrow,” he says, and you nod. “I want to bring you somewhere.”

“Yeah,” you agree, as you get out of the car. It was already late, and you denied Sam’s offer to get dinner. You were exhausted, and you were still in the clothes you were wearing when you left your apartment suddenly. You needed to shower, sleep, and then your visit with him would start. You also were nervous. You could tell he was a little disappointed when you declined his offer but he understood.

“We’ll get some beers and talk about the good old days tomorrow. Don’t worry about it,” he smiles, rubbing the top of your hand reassuringly.

“Good old days?” you tease.

“We’ll talk about Scotland,” he grins, “The good parts.”

“The good parts,” you affirm. You try to think about what he means but you let yourself put it out of your brain for now. “I’ll be by first thing.”

“I am really glad you’re here,” he reiterates once more before you disappear into the small house. You don’t have the courage to admit you feel the same.

When you close the door behind you, you look out the curtain and watch as Sam drives away. Your mind runs rampant with just all the things on your mind. The shield. Sam. Being here with Sam. Having to talk about feelings and memories with Sam. Scotland. How you fell in love with Sam Wilson in Scotland.

You worry coming here was a mistake.

Part Two

Taglist:

@greeneyedblondie44 @witchybarb @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @sassy-kassaay

#sam wilson #sam wilson x y/n #sam wilson x reader #friends to lovers #sam wilson x you #tfaws #anthony mackie characters #sam wilson fanfiction #sam wilson fic #sam wilson imagine #sam wilson one shot #justsamwilson

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haleigh-sloth · 3 years

Note

you were talking about something a bit similar yesterday so I'm sorry for being late to the conversation, but I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one. even so however, it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions).

I see so many people who are (so ironically) only seeing the story in black and white, when in reality these kids, and Midoriya especially, are being negatively impacted by hero society just as much as the villains are, they're just experiencing it from a different angle. (Which adds a whole other layer to the Midoriya becoming the greatest hero plotline, because the society that he is also fighting against is the one that was shaped that way by his predecessor- albeit unintentionally.) Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them.

- I didn't get to finish my thought from the FULL ESSAY I sent earlier (my bad about how long that ended up being lmao) but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him. I agree that the manga has been a bit of a drag-along for the past few...months tbh, and I am absolutely Livid at the way that Bones has structured the story, and it's causing a lot of boredom and Tons of tension with people, but I feel like a lot of villain fans are taking that out on the integrity of the characters themselves, which is causing a lot of the mischaracterizaton of Midoriya in particular. n idk, I just find it sort of ironic, DEFINITELY annoying, and in general just.... :/ yknow. just :/

I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem. FINAL MESSAGE I promise lmao sorry again for the 600 page essay

You're good lol. In fact, I've discussed some of this in-depth in private with a tumblr friend. Again, I feel like my DMs are being read 👀 anyway lol

So obviously this is going to be a long ass post so I'll add a cut toward the top. But I wanna start off with: there's a lot to unpack here and I'm going to preface with, I agree with you. But I also have to say that I see both sides, but when it comes to vehemently hating a character and letting that hate for that character lead to bad takes (which I see for Deku and another character that I'll get to under the cut) I feel like the overall point people are trying to make loses its grip because it starts to just turn into bashing, and doesn't actually hold water with what's actually in the story.

"I just do not understand people who are fans of the LOV and yet are so vehemently hateful towards Midoriya, and in turn most of the other kids. I understand the criticism that sometimes the kids get things handed to them by the story, but tbh that is just to be expected of the protagonist characters in a shonen manga like this one."

I'll be honest, I see a lot of people love on the UA kids. Especially ones like Kirishima, Kaminari, Mina, Tsuyu, basically any of the ones with personalities that are beyond "I have to get stronger! I have to catch up with my classmates and live up to everyone's expectations!" Which I personally feel like pretty much all of the UA kids have as personalities, save for the main five, and the few above that I listed. But for the hatred toward Midoriya....oy. Where do I begin.

Well, I actually don't see a lot of Deku hate on my dash. I follow a very small number of blogs, most of which are pretty in line with my POV of the story and therefore, I don't see a lot of bad takes.

A little baby rant inside of this monster post:

Yes, I have come across extremist villain-stan blogs that, while I agree with some of their opinions on the villains, I don't agree with their opinions on the hero characters. I've unfollowed blogs like that, because they started exhausting me and making me upset, tbqh. Like yes, the villains are the best characters in the story. But guess what? They aren't the only ones in the story. We have other characters that are important to the overall themes and messages. I, personally, really like the hero kid:villain set up. Others I've seen want the heroes and villains completely separated in the story and for the villains to save themselves without any help from the heroes?? Makes zero sense because the story is about these becoming true heroes, and in order to do that they need to challenge themselves by saving a villain. So...blogs that were spouting that nonsense, I've unfollowed and stopped engaging with.

But back to Midoriya. Okay, I genuinely, genuinely like Midoriya! I've liked him from the beginning. He's not favorite, he's not even my second favorite. He's in my top 5 though. But the only dislike I personally see toward Midoriya on my blog is for these problematic things that have occurred:

Telling Shouto he thinks he's going to forgive his father because he's kind, making Natsuo feel bad for not forgiving his abusive POS father.

Trying to "reach" Dabi the same way he reached Shouto, only to just cause more harm.

Saying Endeavor is a mentor who made him stronger??? TO Dabi??

Teaming up with the fucking top 3

So....basically...any time Midoriya has been interjected into the Todoroki plot line, he's been less than likable--AFTER what he did for Shouto during the sports festival. That was a positive thing, and it actually kicked off the Todoroki plot line really really well. It got us into Shouto's inner world and started his story off nicely I think.

And you can argue that Midoriya's flaw is being blinded by hero society and seeing the good in everybody, BUT--

This was LITERALLY THE FIRST INTERACTION between Midoriya and Endeavor. THIS set the tone for the Todoroki plot. So....all that stuff up there that people hate about Midoriya, is definitely valid. I mean...I don't think it's worth hating him for but people can like and dislike who they want. But this just reiterates my belief that so many things in BNHA come to a fucking halt for Endeavor's bitch ass. The main character included.

"it's not like Midoriya gets off free of everything that he does? his actions and his sacrifices and very actually very rarely ever truly appreciated within the story, just because he is successful in most of his feats doesn't mean that the people around him necessarily Notice (him only getting one internship request after the sports festival despite displaying amazing power and critical thinking skills, the Stain Hosu incident, even in the VERY BEGINNING of the series when he runs forward to save Bakugou he says himself that he was only reprimanded for being so careless in his actions)"

So, I don't entirely disagree but I do have to disagree to an extent. Midoriya's consequences have been a topic for a while now and everyone says the same thing. Nothing ever comes back to him, he doesn't ever actually fail at anything. His failures don't actually hold him back or push him to challenge his beliefs. Like...narrative consequences here is what I'm talking about. Midoriya only got one offer after the sports festival, yes that's a consequence of putting your body through ridiculous strain and self-destructing in front of everyone like that. But it ended up working in his favor because he went with Gran Torino who taught him his next big move, full cowling, which I think we can all agree was a major power-up for him. So...it wasn't much of a consequence in the long run. It wasn't a set back. And you're right, he was reprimanded for rushing in to save Bakugo in the beginning, which is coming into play now when we see that it's actually hard for people to step in and save others because everyone is so trained by society to just let heroes handle everything. Even though Bakugo would have died if not for Midoriya. BUT--what happened next? All Might gave him his power. That was a reward by the narrative. Granted that HAD to happen for our story to kick off, but I'm just trying to show how Midoriya doesn't ever actually have any set-backs.

"Midoriya is going to be the one to try to save Shigaraki, Midoriya has already become the greatest hero by actively looking past the actions of Shig and the League and wanting to help them."

"but...yeah I was saying about how Midoriya is already a better hero at 16 than most other pros because he actively wants to help the League. Midoriya is exactly the kind of hero that the villains, and Shigaraki in particular, needs in order to have the happy ending that so many want for him"

Fully agree here. I'll say that recently I've seen a lot of people making posts about how they don't think it'll be Midoriya doing the reaching and saving. How they think it'll be the LOV saving each other without the help of the heroes, how they'll reach each other's hearts?? Which...I don't even know what to say besides ask people who think that what they think the purpose of all these parallels and similarities drawn between him and Shigaraki are for, if not to bring them together in the end (and stay connected too--not just be yeeted from each other's lives), the two brothers who were separated from each other, and a teenage girl who was never accepted by her peers and basically forced to find family in a group of adult men lol. I'm not sure if you were responding to my rant yesterday with this ask lol, but if you are, I mean yeah I'm on board here. Midoriya is supposed to be that "true hero" that breaks through even the toughest, strongest walls, who in HIS case is Shigaraki. But not just him, Shouto, Ochacko, and Bakugo too. There's a kid:villain set up for a reason, so people who don't want that set up are either just....super super one-sided in how they're reading it, or it's just their preference and they're not actually caring about what the story itself is going to do. (Bakugo is kind of a seventh wheel....lol)

Again, I can't say I've seen too much irrational Deku hate on my dash. I avoid stupid shit for the most part. Most of the blogs I follow, while they may not like Midoriya, they still see the redeeming characteristics in him and still make valid takes on the story and take his actual character into account. But I have seen the irrational hate you're talking about, I've just successfully yeeted it from my dash.

Another character, and I know you didn't bring this character up but I feel this issue applies to them as well--is Hawks. Now...I do not like Hawks. I don't hate him, but I seriously just cannot bring myself to like him. I can't tell if it's his fans that have just ruined him for me, or just his overall vibe in the story. I don't even know at this point I've spent so long avoiding getting to know his character. But--I've seen villain-stan blogs hate him so much to a point where they completely forget that he is also a victim of society and has his own issues. And their takes on him come at the expense of....well, a clear understanding of the story. Now right now Hawks is being handled not-so-great, but even before this. Of course nobody has to like him, I mean I just said that I don't, but this irrational hate that comes at the expense of his actual character is annoying to me.

"I think it's completely valid for people to just simply not like certain characters for whatever reason they might have, im not here to police people's opinions, but when people's opinions come at the expense of misunderstanding pretty key elements of the characters / story they're talking about, that's when I have a problem"

Yep yep yep. I agree here too. So in a nutshell, no matter what character it is, if people irrationally hate them to a point where their takes on the story just stop making sense, yes I agree that it starts to wear away at the integrity of the character, and it also annoys me and I end up just unfollowing and I no longer take anything they say seriously. And there are a couple of blogs I follow that really don't like Midoriya at all, but they don't waste their time talking about how much they don't like him. They simply just...don't talk about him. That's what people should do because otherwise it fills EVERYONE'S dash with negativity that we didn't ask for. That's why I'm glad I've stopped getting so many asks about Hawks because I have never really had anything nice to say about him and after so many people sending me stuff asking to talk about him I started to feel like a shitty person for filling peoples' dashes up with that. I mean...I'm seriously mean to Hawks lol. I am. So yeah.

I don't particularly understand the extreme hatred either. I totally get not liking a character but that extreme hatred you're talking about I've made a successful effort to distance myself from. Thankfully.

#long post #bnha #bnha asks #anonymous #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #bnha lov #bnha league of villains #deku #todoroki shouto #uraraka ochako #long ass post #sorry lol #mha #my hero academia #todofam

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itachi-with-a-chicken · 3 years

Text

How Pang and Wave are gonna sort themselves out.

(Spoiler. They wont. Not without a gentle push)

Claire does not get paid enough for this

Actually, she doesn't get paid at all

And yet here she is. By the fondness of her heart. And because she promised Namtan. And because she has a bet with Ohm against Punn and Mon to win.

But mostly because she is a marvelous person

"if they don't get it before graduation, we're gonna tell them" was what Namtan agreed with her. A middle ground between her will to make them figure it out themselves and Claire desire to expose them right away.

"What?" You may ask.

"So, are you two gonna get together or do I have to wait my mid twenties to get you both drunk at the launching of my Oscar movie to get you to hook up?"

Wave freezes. Pang whitens. Both seems pretty shocked.

"What?" Pang is the one recollecting sooner. Wave is still rebooting. "What are you talking about Claire"

"dude. Eyes. Feelings" not that she needed to use any power to see that

"Of course we love each other, he's my best mate" tries to say Pang and oh boi does he look sure of that. This is painful. This is worst than getting the eyeball boiling for the potential.

"yes, best mate" manages to say Wave and is he closer to the door or is just her impression. Pang catches him and put his arm around his ne c k oh my god Pang

"and of course he is amazing but you know Wave doesn't like people that way"

Wave suddenly detaches from him, looking stunned "do I what now"

Penny in the air

"Yeah, I mean, I would know if you did, wouldn't I? We see each other practically every day"

"I'm not aromantic. I may be demi but the fuck I know I'm not aro"

Claire is kinda sure he wished to be sometimes

"But Wave, we've seen each other for every day in two years and you never showed any interest in anyone"

Wave flees the room. Of course he did. Claire gets more comfortable in her chair and drums the fingers on the table, waiting.

Pang needs some seconds, looking between the door where Wave left and her, following a tennis match between his own thoughts

"Does he... And I... Oh. Oh no"

And there he goes. Penny dropped

"I won" she textes Punn on the secret groupchat

"to be honest I'm so relieved that I don't even care about the bet, you're gonna get all the instant noodles in the world"

"we have eyes on them, do you want a transcript?" Says either Jack or Joe

"do you even need to ask" Korn

"even better, I've got the cctv" Punn. She loved his so much sometimes.

So apparently the thing went like this

Pang reached Wave in the hallway and got him by the neck of the shirt, like a lost puppy

Wave was between the total embarrassment and the complete dismay. In short, he looked like a feral kitten.

"You didn't say anything!"

"did i need to say more? I got it, you don't like me that way, I don't need a rejection to say that"

"you beautiful idiot i didn't even know"

"HOW? YOU'RE THE PERSON WHO KNOWS ME BETTER. HOW YOU DIDN'T KNOW"

Well. That was embarrassing.

"I've never thought.. look, it's okay. We don't need to discuss this. I just need to--"

"I ASSUMED" "WELL THAT WORKED OUT WELL FOR THE PAST MONTHS"

"I assumed... You know.. I never considered.. I thought.. how. How can you like me. How can you think at me that way after all the things you know about me"

Pang looked shattered, Wave was speechless, Claire wanted pop corn.

"Don't you mean how can anyone not like you after they get to know you? Honestly Pang, there's not a single person you cannot win over"

"oh come on! You know that is only superficial. There's only one person who stayed with me for better and for worse"

"well, you were right" "we were losing" "still right" "I hid things from you" "I'm aware" "And we both got poisoned" "Technically, I took it by my own choice and you because you're self sacrificing idiot"

"no" "what you mean no" "I mean no. I mean that after you got the virus, there was nothing left for me. No players to play. No moves. Nothing. What was the point, then, if not even my death would have been useful? I've been the worst person to lead this thing, and you are perfectly aware of that, you were aware then and you are now and how, how can you not despise me or see me as the little scared boy I am?"

Pang took a breath, his hand still anchored at the jacket Wave was wearing. To steady himself, or to keep him there?

"when I say i didn't see, I mean never considered that I could be that good. And you deserve someone good, Wave. You deserve the best. You deserve someone who.. who.."

"that is you, you dumb idiot. You. I'm the smartest person in this damn city and when I say you are the best and the wisest person I know i fucking mean it. Hell, how can you be so blind on yourself. How-- I thought we already discussed this. I thought you got it. You are human and freaking 18 and got on yourself so much weight because you though it was the right thing to do how can I not love you?" He was panting, out of breath. Angry, even.

"so don't you fucking dare to tell me i deserve the best if you don't consider yourself that."

They stay like that for a moment. Looking at each other in the eyes, a weird game of chicken

"You know that probably everyone is looking at us thanks to Punn right?" Pang asks, his face getting closer to Wave.

"of course I am, but that's all they're gonna get" and the screen went black. Claire screamed. Ohm cursed on the groupchat. A little oomf makes her realise that Mon probably hit the wall.

"They are kissing" reports Jack.

"ugh, so much kissing" reiterates Joe

Claire sighed, but she was happy. They deserved it.

And they all deserved a break from all the romantic tension

But most importantly

She and Namtan were right from the beginning and they had to say it.

#the gifted graduation #tgg #ficlet #bullet points #pangwave #pangwave canon #insp: doctor who #pang pawaret #wave wasuthorn #wave #claire the gifted #they have a secret groupchat to discuss pangwave #that much I'm sure and I know #korn is friend #Namtan is gonna wake up with hundreds of texts

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purplellamanator · 4 years

Note

I saw your prompts and I actually liked them a lot and it was hard to choose one, but can you write the soulmate au for Heizuha? The color one? I love your writing and I’m a writer as well and I aspire to be like you one day 💗💗

A/N~ So sorry this took so long! It's pretty long for a drabble because I still have no self control. Since it has been so long, I hope you are able to see or are interested in this still and are able to read it! Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request as well as your very kind words! Also please ignore all my mistakes -_- I’m sorry if this seems a bit messy towards the end <3

Color~ Only once you meet your soulmate can you see colors. Until then, your vision is grey

oOo

Admittedly, Hattori could be a bit dense. Especially when it came to the emotions of girls that apparently had a 'thing' for him. He'd almost argue it was because he simply didn't care about that aspect of his life. And something he'd be less vocal about- if it wasn't the attention from a certain person then he didn't want it anyway.

But this-! This was not his fault. No one had told him. There was really no way he could've just known this.

That he had known his soulmate the entire time.

Just thinking about the stupidity of it all had him placing an embarrassed hand to cover his face.

Because finally seeing the world in color was the sign. And seeing as meeting Kazuha was his earliest memory, he had completely missed it. He had no recollection of a moment in his life without color. He didn't even know it was a thing until junior high.

And now that he was thinking about it, people had tried to tell him before then. On the playground and his friends were making guesses about how bright the sakura blossoms really were.

Heiji had thought they were stupid; playing dense. "Are you blind? They're pink."

The moment the comment had left him though, his friends looked at him as if he were crazy before rolling their eyes and saying they knew he was lying. That they knew the flower looked the same bland and boring gray hue they could see.

It frustrated him because they didn't believe him and on top of that, they were acting like he was the crazy one. If they really couldn't see it was pink then they needed their eyes checked!

"That!" Heiji pointed sharply at the tree above them. "What color are those blossoms?"

He had dragged Kazuha all the way over to the park just to check if maybe it was him that was the insane one. Kazuha wouldn't lie to him after all. And though he was embarrassed to say it around his other boy friends, she was his best friend.

With her hair in a short ponytail, she tilted her head slightly in confusion as she looked where he was directing her. "Pink. . ?" She had answered slowly as if she was being tested and she wasn't sure if she was giving a correct response.

"I knew it!" Heiji jumped with his small, five year old hands clenched in a fist. And when he saw his other friend was confused he explained the previous incident with his other friends.

Like it had made him want to do then, the small girl laughed. "It sounds like they need their eyes checked," she giggled and he laughed in agreement.

Now eight years later, Heiji wanted to punch himself. It had been him that needed his eyes checked. Something was wrong with them- well not wrong . . . but different. They were the weird ones.

In junior high and sitting through that class. Heiji wanted to scream. Because by this point, Kazuha had moved. It had actually happened shortly after the sakura blossom incident. Her father had gotten a promotion and had moved the family to Kyoto. And now he was stuck sitting in this family life class all alone and getting hit with the realization that he met his soulmate- no, that he even had a soulmate. As if having to sit through a class detailing the birds and bees wasn't already bad enough.

Heiji couldn't believe it. And full of rage and frustration, he exploded on his mother the moment he walked through the front door. Because she knew. There was no way his parents hadn't known. They had to teach him what he was seeing after all. They knew what seeing the world in color meant. And they hadn't told him.

He felt like a fool.

"You two were too young to understand at the time," his mother spoke casually as she continued preparing their dinner. "Her parents as well as your father and I agreed it was best to wait for you guys to learn."

Her tone had the same calm bearing quality. In his annoyance though it was sounding uncaring. It was like she was shrugging him off. It was making him mad. But one thing just became glaringly obvious.

"Her parents knew and they still moved?"

"Heiji," his mother sighed giving the only sign she was getting irritated. "Yes, both her parents knew but again- we agreed. It was best for you two to learn about it the proper way like everybody else."

Which was fine. If he would've met his soulmate the proper way. It was practically unheard of to meet one's soulmate so early. An exception should've been made for people like them.

Shizuka could probably see that he was not happy with any of the excuses she gave. It was clear she had been hoping he'd be satisfied with those responses but that clearly was not the case. When Heiji continued to fix her with a pissed off glare, she finally put her spatula down and faced her son.

"When we all found out, us parents got together to discuss over a dinner. We agreed- all of us, that it would be best for you two to be separated. We were worried you would depend on each other too much. Having another half; just knowing about it is heavy. You two were too young," his mother reiterated that firmly and Heiji hated that he thought it, but he was actually understanding.

Sitting in that classroom not even five hours ago and for the first time learning about all of that- it was a lot. It was heavy. It felt like he had a weight on his chest and his head was about to explode. The only problem was he couldn't tell if that was because he just found out he had a soulmate or the fact he already knew who his soulmate was. Not to mention the inexplicable frustration he felt.

Heiji wouldn't lie and say he completely forgot about Kazuha. He hadn't forgotten about her at all. In fact, he had taken it pretty hard when she first told him that she'd be moving to Tokyo. He could remember trying to put on a brave face when his family went to their house to say their farewells. At the time and even now, he never thought anything of it. That his parents brought him to say goodbye. Did he think it was unusual for his stern father that did nothing but work to take off just so they could do that? Yes, but in his young childish mind, they were very close to the Toyama's. Both his and Kazuha's father worked closely together and since their children had been linked at the hip as well, Heiji didn't think anything of it.

Kazuha had been the opposite of course. She hadn't bothered to conceal her tears, which unknowingly to her, made it harder for his 5 year old self to do the same. She surprised him though. She had given him a gift- a charm. At first seeing it dangle from her clenched fist messily, he felt extremely guilty. He hadn't brought her a thing. But she gave him a bright, watery grin and a few sniffles to stop her tears.

"Don't worry about it! I had it for awhile and look!" After practically shoving the charm into his chest, she quickly pulled on something that was wrapped loosely around her neck. "I have one too!" she smiled cheekily.

Sure enough, a charm that was only slightly different in color hung from her two fingers pinched together.

After that scene, it was honestly embarrassing how long he continued to where that charm. When he was just about to reach junior high and one of his old classmates that had remembered Kazuha saw he still wore it, he had gotten the teasing of a lifetime. He had stopped wearing it the very next day.

And coincidentally, he was hit with a bout of horrendous luck. The incidents all ranged from something as small as waking up late for class to failing terribly on a test. That week also marked the worst he had ever done in his kendo matches. Finally when he had been walking home after a rainy day and a car sped by him, successfully drenching him from head to toe in the puddle they just drove through- Heiji had enough. He continued to wear the charm even as he slept and no amount of taunts from his friends would have him taking it off.

Honestly, it was weird how he was able to disconnect the fact that the charm had been given to him. How easy it was for him to not think about Kazuha even though technically he wore of part of her with him everyday. It just felt natural to wear the charm now. He didn't feel right without it and in most incidents would actually refuse to take it off.

Other than the charm, she was like a random memory that would float in at the oddest moments. Those moments usually being when he was laying in his bed waiting for sleep. Admittedly, the amount of time he'd spend staring at that charm at night being reminded of her- that she had given him this, was honestly more than what was considered healthy he was willing to bet. It was like his body and his mind were reminding him constantly not to forget where it came from.

And now he knew the reason why.

It took him a while to cool down after that. It wouldn't change anything. What's happened has happened. In all honesty he was mostly irritated that he was basically lied to for more than half his life. But in the end, he also understood why they did it and if possible, that made him even angrier.

Over time though, he got over it. Or more like he learned how to deal with it. After it was in the air and both him and Kazuha had been made aware of who they were to each other, they were allowed to exchange letters from that point.

The letters felt weird at first. Kazuha used to be his best friend. But the years of separation- it just wasn't the same. They didn't know each other really anymore. It was weird and clearly they didn't really know what to talk about with each other. The obvious topic would've been that they were bonded, but it was clear neither was comfortable or brave enough to start that conversation at first.

Over time and as the years passed by, it became glaringly obvious that they would have to though. They were both in high school now and with that came the obvious flaw in their logic. They could avoid it in these letters but sooner or later, they would hit a point where they'd have to acknowledge it. The two were soulmates and though they hadn't seen each other in person for a very long time, that would eventually have to change. The reality hadn't slapped him in the face till her next letter.

‘I have news (hopefully that is good). Dad just got reinstated in his old position working with your father so I'll be moving back to Osaka by next year. I don't know if you can remember it, but we'll be moving back to our old house again as well. Turns out dad never sold it and we've just been renting it out.’

Heiji wasn't stupid. He knew what that meant.The Toyama's had always planned to move back just like his father always planned to 'reinstate' Kazuha's dad into his old position. It was a temporary move that was done only to give them space.

But all he felt like it had done was make it so they'd have to have an extremely painful and awkward 'first meeting'. None of this 'sudden move' was a surprise but it admittedly was like a gut punch. He was not prepared at all. They didn't know what each other sounded like. What they looked like-!

What they looked like?!

It was embarrassing and quite ridiculous of him, but that one thought threw him into a panic. She had no idea what he looked like now. Obviously she had seen him as a child and he would look somewhat similar to that but. . . he aged. He hit puberty! And though he always thought it had been somewhat kind to him- as kind as that stage of anyone's life could be- believe it or not he also had his fair share of insecurities. Like his dark skin. Though it was something his friends liked to tease him about, it wasn't something that actually bothered him. He honestly didn't really care about it. He didn't have anyone he cared to impress.

Until now. Now he had someone to impress and the anxiety he was pretty sure he never had until this whole soulmate thing, hit the roof.

It was so dumb and immediately something he regretted doing after dropping his mail in the post box. To send a letter accompanied by a picture of him. Granted it wasn't just him in the photo. It was a picture of him with his parents that his mother had somehow forced him into being in. But he knew, he was well aware that Kazuha would know, that the intention of sending the picture was so she would see him.

He wasn't that much of a compulsive dork that he just randomly sent it without some sort of explanation- even if it were technically a lie. In the letter he mentioned that his mother wanted him to send their annually taken family photo. In reality however he sent it because he didn't want her to be disappointed. He wanted Kazuha to know exactly what was awaiting her once she returned. He didn't want there to be any surprises and if she had a problem with how he looked, for her to say it now.

What he had not been expecting was a photo in return.

‘I guess it's only fair that I have to send one as well’, had been her excuse for including it. That and on his photo, she said not a word about how he looked. She commented that his mother still looked as young and beautiful as she could remember and joked that his father still bore such a stern and serious exterior in a holiday photo. But she didn't say anything about him. There was no disgust or ridicule in her letter. Granted that also meant there was no praise but she didn't sound disappointed in her letter and surely she would've if she didn't like what she saw. . . right?

Her family however looked as he had remembered it. They appeared slightly more aged and it looked like her mother had cut her hair much shorter. But all in all they looked the same as he remembered. Not even Kazuha looked all that different. She had the blue eyes- which he could've sworn were teal but still close to the same. Her bangs were parted the exact same way as well as it was pulled up in one of those ribbons he could always remember her wearing. The only thing that was different was that she very obviously was not five years old anymore.

Blushing with a small frown at his thoughts, he couldn't help but think puberty must've been kind to her as well.

oOo

The picture she had gifted him had been a surprise but apparently a welcome one. He had been so focused and preoccupied on what she'd think of him that he hadn't stopped to wonder what she looked like now herself. It was safe to say if she was as worried like he had been, she had nothing to stress about because he was not disappointed. And though he wouldn't lie about it if she asked, he kept the picture of her on him at all times. Of course it was after he cut her parents out of it- which he felt guilty about doing. But carrying a picture of his . . . in-laws? . . . around would just be weird.

He was a real idiot though because no picture would've ever prepared him for seeing her again. The photo didn't do his soulmate justice and he would eternally be grateful for the fact that they happened to run into each other on accident and not in the company of their parents as had been planned. Because the moment they met eyes everything just burst. Color exploded around them but not into anything he hadn't ever seen before. Only something he had forgotten.

Her eyes were teal. He hadn't been mistaken. The color from his vision had been fading- dulling. Now taking in everything around him, he saw the world with a new vibrancy he had unknowingly lost. He saw the world as it really was.

And then after that, he couldn't logically explain what happened. They were both still staring at each other in shock but after taking a moment to look at his surroundings, his hurriedly turned back to her. Only for him to freeze in shock once more. Because he wasn't staring at the Kazuha from the picture. He was staring at the Kazuha he had met twelve years ago.

At first he had to wonder if he was going crazy- if he had lost his mind. The only thing that calmed him down and reassured him that this was normal was that Kazuha seemed as startled as he was. She was seeing it too.

That and-

‘The eyes are the gateway to the soul’, his mother had always told him.

A childlike giggle erupted out of the five year old Kazuha. "You're the same old ahou I remember," she sniffled and for the first time Heiji realized that she was crying.

He didn't like that and stepping forward slowly, he gripped her at her upper-arms, holding her back slightly as if to make sure she were real. To make sure she was really there. The moment he touched her arms however, everything changed again. He was back to staring at the now in high school Kazuha and his eyes blinked rapidly to refocus with the change. And he couldn't tell if she jumped from the sudden feel of his hands gripping her or the fact their vision once again changed as if flipping a slide on a projector, but he knew they were both experiencing the same thing.

They both saw each other as they had looked the first time they met. Something he thought he had long forgotten and could not pull from the deepest recesses of his mind.

The eyes are the gateway to the soul, he reminded himself.

oOo

Things were strange after that. He had wanted to hide the fact from his parents that he had already run into Kazuha again, but it became obvious that would be impossible when he wouldn't stop just looking at everything in awe. His mother had picked up on it right away but he couldn't help it. Though they had departed ways again briefly after that, the vibrancy of everything did not fade and he realized that must've only happened slowly over time from their extended distance to each other. He couldn't even be bothered by the fact that his mother was trying to tease and prod him. It was like he was seeing the world all over with a fresh, new pair of eyes. It took him quite awhile to get over this new reality.

Finally his mother demanded to know what had happened. When he still refused to open his mouth, she gave him one of her calm and at ease smiles. A smile that made him feel the complete opposite.

"I guess that's alright anyway. I'm sure Kazuha-chan would explain it much better over dinner."

There weren't a lot of people that could actually scare him. Even his father's intimidating demeanor had wore off on him. Something he was sure he'd never get over however, was how manipulative his mother could be. He had already been aware that the Toyama's would be joining them for dinner. He was also aware that his mother just threatened to have Kazuha expose the both of them over their family dinner.

With a heaving sigh and a mumbled, "Hag," under his breath, he gave an extremely brief rundown of what had happened between him and Kazuha earlier that day. Of course he left out the part of how suddenly Kazuha turned twelve years younger and how he was also not disappointed with her in the looks department. He did explain however that his colors had unknowingly been fading over time and suddenly things were so bright it almost hurt.

Sadly, the fact that he finally broke down and told her that did not make the dinner any less awkward. Both of their father's seemed content to discuss nothing but work but their mother's had apparently been adamant they would be talking about the fact their children were bonded. That and the witch still somehow managed to get Kazuha to go over her account of the previous evening. All he could do was sit and glare the entire time at his scheming mother whom likely had no intention of holding up her end of the deal.

Kazuha explained everything almost exactly as he had. It seemed that they had both silently agreed that it was not necessary to describe how they were both taken back to the first day they met. It made Heiji smile inside. He liked that that would just be for them.

Overall and besides the fact his mother lied to him, dinner had gone well. Heiji had been worried at first that things would only continue to be uncomfortable between them. They were soulmates but they hadn't known that and had gone years without even talking to each other in person. They had their letters but that still wasn't the same either.

But that dinner had made one thing clear. It seemed the only time either of them had the nerve to acknowledge the other as what they were- soulmates, was in front of their parents. Out in public or even alone, they held what was seen as a normal distance between each other. They could've been mistaken for just friends honestly. Truth be told, he wondered sometimes if that was how Kazuha saw him. A glorified best friend.

It was a little frustrating to him. At first he began to think it was partially his fault for her treating him like that. He hadn't made any efforts to take her on dates. He didn't invite her out to do 'overly couplely' things. That's when Heiji thought it had become clear for him. Sure, on their break he made sure to see her practically everyday. But maybe how they were spending their time wasn't enough. Maybe she needed more and didn't want to ask him for it.

Her family had moved during the break for school. The coming semester she would be enrolled in the same high school as him. She hadn't asked him to but he made it his mission to drive her to school with him every morning.

It was pretty rare to meet your soulmate while still in school. Even more so if you went to the same school. But it was practically unheard of to meet your soulmate at five. Again, at the time he hadn't realized just who Kazuha was to him nor had he or his classmates had any idea that soulmates were even out there. Sadly however, that had not stopped his classmates from making fun of him. Of course at such a young age, he had denied any and all accusations.

In high school now and facing the same taunts however, he realized that it was almost just as embarrassing. Maybe even more so because now it was actually true. Heiji never felt the need to admit that though and when Kazuha always remained silent at his side, he assumed she felt the same. That he wasn't ashamed to have a soulmate this early. He wasn't even disappointed. It was just simply not anybody else's business.

That's what he thought she had felt. But after how distant she still seemed to be, he stopped staying quiet. Most of the time it was his friends doing the taunts anyway so it was likely about time he got them to shut up.

He hadn't meant to embarrass her. He thought he had been doing the right thing- that he had been doing what she wanted. Apparently declaring to the whole school courtyard that Kazuha was his soulmate and if anybody had a problem with that they could answer to his fist, was just as humiliating as ignoring the taunts. Heiji hadn't meant to yell either. He to an extent had also gotten sick of the constant teasing from his friends and it wasn't his fault that his voice . . . carried a little. . .

Kazuha didn't seem to think so however and it was like all of her blood rushed to her face. Her mouth dropped open a few times silently as if she didn't even know what to say. She probably didn't but it was only once her eyes flickered around them that he realized practically the whole courtyard had gone silent and was staring at them.

That was the first time since Kazuha had moved back that she had actually yelled at him. So startled by her actually raising her voice at him, he barely caught anything she was saying to him. He was sure he heard a few 'ahou's and somewhere in there he caught that he was more mortifying than their parents. A little scared of her explosive temper he just stayed quiet and took it, thankful that his mom hadn't been there because she surely would've laughed at him.

When she was done though, she turned around and simply left. Now he was the one at a loss for words because all he could do was stare at where she had made her exit. He still could not believe someone had yelled at him like that.

"Well, you guys sure have bantering like a married couple down."

"Shut up!"

oOo

Kazuha didn't talk to him at all after that. It seemed like she wanted space but Heiji also had the sinking feeling that he should apologize. Which at first irritated him. Why should he apologize? He only told the truth. And to top it off he thought he had done what she would want him to do. In a way he thought he had been defending her because they hadn't just been teasing him alone after all. He shouldn't have to apologize!

Of course none of those thoughts changed the fact that he was going to anyway. The guilt was already eating away at him and if saying he was sorry was what got her to finally talk to him again, he would suck up his pride and do it.

Which all of that was easier said than done. It was quite sad but Heiji was quickly coming to the conclusion that he never really had to apologize for something before. It wasn't something that he actively refused to do. It was more of he never actually felt like he needed to. It was probably not a good thing that he could count on one hand how many times he had apologized. It worried him that he wouldn't seem sincere to her.

Apparently that wouldn't be his biggest problem. He wasn't counting on his soulmate being even more stubborn than he was. It was like she didn't want to give him the chance to say sorry. That or she just wanted to make him squirm more. They never had a chance alone. They usually walked home together but the past few days she always had something to do. Today she said she needed to stay after class.

Two could play at that game however. If she thought she was stubborn, she obviously still didn't know him well enough yet either. He waited for her.

The sun had already begun to set but Heiji refused to move. He had the idea to just wait at her house but he had a feeling that would do more harm than good. When he caught her expression when she realized that he had actually waited for her, he still felt like this maybe wasn't a good idea either.

"What took you so long?"

Her expression had been neutral up until that point. Now it was thunderous.

"Sorry to inconvenience you. I didn't exactly ask you to wait."

Her tone was dismissive.

Heiji scowled. "You haven't asked me to do anything. You haven't been talking to me," he accused. Briefly he had the reminder that it was him that should be apologizing yet he was already throwing around accusations.

"Oh, I haven't?" she asked with feigned nonchalance.

Her response had him forcing himself to take a breath. Remember why you came out here, he told himself adamantly. She's trying to distract you to hold onto her grudge. Remember why you're out here.

"I'm sorry!" he blurted out but with how frustrated he was, he sounded more angry than apologetic.

His apology, whether it sounded mean or not, had her eyes widening slightly and her mouth falling open. "H-huh?"

That couldn’t be good. . .

He didn’t like the sign of that. She sounded surprised. It was embarrassing and already he could feel the tips of his ears heating but there was no way he could take back an apology.

"I'm sorry," he said again only this time calmer.

It was a little annoying how she only continued to stare at him. As if she were still unsure if she had heard him correctly. But when it became apparent that she had indeed heard him right, she nodded her head.

"Okay."

What?

The irritation he had been trying to hold back blew.

"What am I supposed to do with that?!"

To her credit, Kazuha actually looked confused and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. What am I supposed to do with your apology?"

Heiji actually felt a knot start to form at his temple. "You're supposed to say if you accept it or not, dummy!"

"Well how can I accept it if I don't know what it's for, ahou!"

Her response actually made him pause for a moment. Then her words registered.

"What?!" he almost exploded. "Weren't you mad at me?"

Her face was the perfect one of confusion. "Mad? Why would I be mad at you?"

"Two days ago- in the courtyard," he reminded and slowly he saw it dawn on her what he was getting at. When her face began to turn red he knew she definitely remembered. "You haven't said a word to me since!"

When it seemed like it had all finally settled in for her and she still looked confused, Heiji wanted to scream. Then why had he felt all this guilt? All the mental pep-talks he had to do just to get the courage to apologize to her and she wasn't even mad.

"You know what," he finally burst and turned around as if to head to the front gate. "Forget about it." He wasn't going to play this game right now. He apologized. He did what he felt like he needed to do. He reached out. Now he'd allow her the space she apparently so desperately wanted-

"I miss my friends."

So stuck in his head, he almost missed that she had said something. Freezing to look over his shoulder though, he knew he heard her correctly. She wasn't looking at him. If anything he'd guess she was staring at her shoes in . . . shame?

"I was a little upset," she admitted softly. If it wasn't for how somber she looked he would've demanded to know why she hadn't accepted his apology.

"I'm mostly upset with myself so I'm sorry if it seemed it was about you."

How was I supposed to know that if you ignored me for two days, he wanted to grumble.

"I just saw the way you and your friends were interacting and it . . . made me jealous."

"I mean- how stupid is that?" she shook her head as if scolding herself and it looked like her shoulders were trembling. "To be mad at you. Leaving my friends and my home is worth it if I have my soulmate waiting for me." And her voice finally cracked; her voice thick with tears. They started streaming down her face and her arm that wasn't carrying her bag came up to wipe them away hurriedly.

"But I'm sorry. I can't help it. Sometimes I just wanna go home," she hiccuped.

He had not been expecting her tears. He had not been expecting anything she had said. And for that, he felt he could never forgive himself.

How selfish was he? It hadn't even crossed his mind if Kazuha had even wanted to move back. He had always assumed she did. He never questioned if she liked it here. Because in his mind, she had to. He was here after all. If she wasn't saying anything, then nothing was wrong, had been his thoughts.

And watching her break down, arms shaking and voice quivering- the guilt he had felt before was nothing compared to this.

Gently, and slowly so as to give her a chance to pull away, he grabbed the hand that was still swiping at her tears that were still falling. She startled slightly but other than that, allowed his hand to hold hers carefully. When their eyes connected, it made his heart ache all the more.

He was sure his eyes reflected all the pain he was feeling as well. He'd be lying if he said her words hadn't made him feel the slightest bit inadequate as a soulmate. But it wasn't just about what he wanted anymore. His feelings weren't his priority anymore. Hers would always come before his own now.

Clenching his jaw, he still held her hand and he dropped his gaze to it. Her hand was smaller than his and much paler as well as softer. Swallowing the emotion down that was trying to surface he said, "Do you want to go back?"

He didn't want her to. It was strange how quickly the bond took control of his heart but each person experienced it differently. And for the first time he was realizing that maybe . . . she didn't want this yet. Maybe she didn’t want to acknowledge this yet. And she didn't have to. They were only in high school. They had a lifetime after this.

"No!" Her adamant response startled him but what was even more surprising was how her hand was suddenly gripping his back. "I don't think I could ever want that. I just have nobody here and sometimes I feel so . . alone," she whispered the last part slightly and Heiji once again took in her somber appearance.

Something finally struck him. Was she having a hard time adjusting because-

His mind blazed and his eyes narrowed.

"Is someone messing with you?"

"What- no, Heiji. I just don't know these people."

"Don't lie to me," he said sternly and he took another step towards her. The close proximity obviously made her nervous because immediately she was sputtering, going to take a step back. But in her panic, her feet tangled together and suddenly she started falling.

"Hey-! Careful, dummy!" And in his panic to grab a hold of her, one hand grabbed her arm firmly and the other had gone for the front of her uniform at the collar. But his fingers tangled in something and accidentally pulled too hard.

It happened like slow motion. A charm flew from under her shirt; the string that was wrapped around his fingers broke and the charm too went falling. Too wrapped up in the fact that he recognized that charm, he had almost missed the fact something had flown out of it. And almost comically they both watched it flutter to the ground slowly. It fell facing up and he could see perfectly what it was as well as recognize it. It had his eyes widening and his mouth dropping open in shock; the barest tint of pink dusting his dark cheeks.

He never told her he kept the charm she had gifted him all those years ago. Not because he was actively hiding it. It just never came up and like he said before, it was simply a part of him now. But not once had it occurred to him that she had kept hers as well. It hadn't even crossed his mind that she might've thrown hers away and thought he was weird for keeping his. But she didn't.

And even more startling was, she had a picture of him inside it.

He can see the embarrassment and just down right panic as she quickly dropped to snatch the charm up. And almost like someone was trying to torture her, each and every time she went to pick up the picture, she couldn't seem to get a good grasp under it. It stuck to the floor, his smirking face pointing upward as if mocking and he could feel her frustration grow.

Though he was shocked at first and that made him freeze up, when he realized what just happened, he couldn't help the smug grin that began to creep up on his features. He wasn't that terrible however, and he squatted down next to her, picking up the glossy photo from the floor easily.

Probably before thinking it through, she was already snatching it from his hand and holding to her chest protectively as if praying he hadn't seen it yet- which they both knew that of course he had. Her face was so red and she was refusing to look at him and looking closely, it looked like she was about to cry again from how mortified she must've felt.

He frowned. Why would she cry over that? Shaking his head slightly, he grinned slightly again.

"Kazuha."

Still, she wouldn't look at him at first. She clearly thought he was going to make fun of her, and though that was highly tempting, he knew it would've only been hypocritical. She still was stubbornly refusing to look at him though and he knew she had heard him.

Sighing, he slouched on the floor heavily beside her, hopefully as evidence to her that he would not be leaving. They were still at the school gates and any of their classmates that stayed behind could spot them if they walked by, but he didn’t care. He wanted her to realize that he had all day.

All it did was make her turn her face further away from him. It was clear she wanted to be left alone again after she was probably feeling so humiliated.

But Heiji didn't see anything humiliating about it. He felt giddy. Because she finally gave him what he had been needing. Seeing the way her blush went from the tips of her ears and down her neck, he felt his smile soften.

Dummy. All I wanted was for you to acknowledge this. To acknowledge me.

The rustle from his clothes as he shuffled for the yarn that was wrapped around his throat just under his own collar- he knew it got her attention from the way she tensed slightly. She stubbornly refused to turn towards him until, like he knew it would, her curiosity got the best of her and she looked at him confusedly.

By that point, he was already loosening the string keeping the charm cinched closed and tugging out something else that he cherished closely to him. She wouldn't look away though. He already knew she was probably surprised to see that he still held that charm around his neck. The real shock came when he held the small glossy square in his hand, angling both that and the charm so she could easily see.

"Don't worry about it, dummy. I have one too." The soft grin he gave her was not intentional, nor was it something he could hold back. A smirk or even a joke was probably more like his style. He couldn't deny how warmly she had touched him though. As he was almost positive was the same for her, he had no intention of showing her what was in his charm. He hadn't even thought to tell her he still had it let alone tell her he carried her photo around in it. But to see she did the same as well. . . He couldn't explain the sensations he was feeling right now. The way his heart kept stuttering in his chest- was that normal? Probably not but he liked it and he wanted her to experience that feeling as well.

What he was not wanting her to feel was the trembling of her bottom lip nor the tears that sprung to her eyes. He would've asked if she was upset still if it wasn't for the messy, watery grin she gave him. Her cheeks were still red but this time it seemed more from being happy.

Once she had the charm placed back in the bag, he opened his hand expectantly. After she complied, he began to reattach the string around her neck.

"You can go back if you need to," he spoke softly as he finished tying off the yarn. Her whole body tensed but he continued.

"It'll suck at first but I don't want you to be unhappy here." Throat feeling a little tight he added, "I can wait-"

A small noise of surprise escaped him when suddenly her hand was touching his cheek. Still looking down, he hadn't really paid attention to see she was now facing him. But looking at her now, he wasn't sure if it was the bond acting up again but her eyes felt . . . brighter.

And suddenly she was laying her head just under his chin. Her hand having slipped down to wrap around him tightly in an embrace.

“I want to stay.”

#dcmk #heizuha #dcmk fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #ask #request #writing #writing prompts #soulmate au #heiji hattori #kazuha toyama

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {45}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: None 😊

Word Count: 2.8K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

**Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

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Chapter 45: Full Circle

The flashing of the cameras was everywhere and even from inside the limo you could hear the shouting of the paps. It was finally the night you’d worked your ass off for the last few months. Finally, the night to show off your vision, time for you to reap the rewards. You took several breathes trying to calm your nerves in prep for when the car stopped, and you had to step out into the sea of fame. You were nervous.

The last few days you’d had the good fortune to get away for a few days. You, Chris and Ella went to Napa and enjoyed some quiet time away from prying eyes and were able to connect as a family. It was like no time passed at all you fell into sync like it was a normal occurrence. Ella was overjoyed and happily hung all over Chris. From when the sun rose she was glued to his side. You didn’t mind, it was cute to watch, and you couldn’t help but feel grateful. Once she was snuggly tucked into bed he was yours and he used the time to worship every single inch of your body with precision. Though the two of you easily physically connected it was clear that the two of you would need time to seamlessly fit emotionally. You had no doubt that you’d get there eventually because you knew what you felt for him was real, though it still scared you.

By the time the three of you got back down to LA, most of your nerves were gone and you felt closer to him than you had in a while. When you and Chris broke the news to your family about the divorce being off and an engagement in the works they were over the moon, especially your mother. She must have shouted “thank you sweet baby Jesus” at least ten times. She even confessed to Chris that she was running out of hope that you’d ever get married. He only laughed.

Chris’ family seemed ecstatic when you sat with him for a FaceTime call to clue them in and bring them up to speed. His mother, Lisa could not stop smiling and it almost made you cry to see how they all genuinely looked happy. It was unexpected considering how meeting them had gone.

A soft tap to the glass of the limo brought your attention back to the event. The door opened and one of the ushers helped you out onto the carpet. As soon as you stepped out the cameras flashed blinding you. It took you several moments to adjust and develop a strategy. You slowly walked down the carpet and smiled at the cameras and posed for them to get their shots. They shout your name left and right, it was difficult to look everywhere at once.

When you made it further down the carpet the interviews began.

“Vixen, this is your night. How do you feel?”

“Amazing. I am so excited to be here. Everyone has worked so hard to get to tonight and I can’t wait for everyone to experience it.”

“This is your second restaurant. What would you say is the aesthetic for this one?”

“Ethereal, elegant, comfortable. I really wanted to give diners an experience not just with the food but with the décor and ambiance as well. So this is a whole bring experience and I hope everyone has a good time--an engaging time.”

“I see you have quite a beautiful ring on a particular finger, anything to say about it?”

You looked down to your ring finger at the classic, but expensive engagement ring you wore. Your smile could not be hidden.

“Um, well no. nothing to say about it. Thank you.”

You walked away and continued going down the line of eager reports and paps and answered their questions that was about the restaurant and the night, anything else you graciously evaded. After a few interviews, Kassius joined you for pictures and a few words where he praised your professionalism, eye for detail, skill and grace during the entire project.

After forty minutes your cheeks hurt, and you were more than ready to get things moving. The restaurant was full and loud. You smiled at diners as you passed and thanked people for coming out and posed for pictures. When you made it toward the back you saw your family and Chris and Ella in the middle of them. He wore a sleek wine-colored tux with a bow tie that matched Ella’s white dress with wine colored details. When they saw you, they clapped as you approached. When you got to them you each gave you hugs and congratulated you.

“Mama Yayyyy!” you smiled and kissed Ella all across her face. Chris leaned to you and kissed your cheek.

“I am so proud of you.” You smiled and gazed in his deep blue eyes relishing the flutter of the butterflies in your belly.

“All right, family, I have to get to work. Enjoy dinner.” You smiled and walked off to the kitchen where your staff waited. Once you stepped inside they got quiet.

“Thank you everyone for your efforts that lead to tonight. Thank you for your faith in me and this vision I had, and I appreciate you taking a chance with me on this journey. May it be a fun, fulfilling and lucrative adventure. Are we ready to have fun?”

They clapped and whooped giving you even more confidence then you changed and got to work crafting the dishes that you’d painstakingly put together over the last few months. You were so grateful that everything ran smoothly, there were no accidents, nothing burned, nothing that went wrong. You tried not to think about the reception of the dishes that were sent out, tried not to think of what they were saying in the dining area and tried to remain present in the kitchen and give every dish your all.

Thankfully no one sent anything back, and every pass around the kitchen you made, everyone looked to be completely competent in what they were doing. By the time the kitchen service ended, and you were down to the last few plates of dessert you felt comfortable enough to leave it in the hands of your talented sous chef. You changed again and walked back out to the dining area. You slowly walked around and shook the hands of those who wanted to pay compliments to the chef. You made your rounds and chatted with each of them and thanked them for dining there.

Everyone you spoke with expressed how much they loved the food and the experience the restaurant provided. The praise you received made you embarrassed, but you also felt appreciative for your accomplishment. When you made the turn to another reporter you were caught off guard when Ella tackled into your legs. Bending down you scooped her up and kissed her.

“Hi princess, how are you?”

“Good.”

“How was the food?”

“Yummy.” You smiled and looked back to the reporter.

“A family affair tonight huh.”

“Yes, I have every member of my family here, it’s a beautiful thing.”

“I would definitely call tonight a success. I had the opportunity to taste some incredible things tonight. What was your inspiration?”

“Good food, hearty food, rich foods, I love mixing and matching ingredients to create a whole new thing. I drew inspiration from many different regions, even the islands. I wanted to give the taste buds an experience and I really hope I accomplished that.

“Da-da!”

You looked back and saw Chris approaching. As he walked he drew the attention of everyone around. It was sexy and spoke of his aura. Your bottom teeth sank into your bottom lip. Your eyes drifted to the gold wedding band he wore, and you smiled wider. When he stood just behind you, you felt his arm around your waist. once he was there they continued snapping your pictures. Ella hugged you tightly looking back at Chris who gave her silly faces which she loved.

"What do you think of tonight, Chris?"

“I think this is amazing. I was prepared for quite the experience and I was not disappointed. One thing with this beautiful human she does not disappoint.” You smiled and tried to keep a demure look on your face. you couldn’t lie it felt so good to hear him talk about you like this. It was a first.

"How do you think it turned out?"

“I think it turned out great. She did a wonderful job with everything in here and the food--,” he began giving a chefs kiss with his fingers. “The food was to die for.”

“Yummy food,” Ella reiterated. You smiled and kissed her again.

"Rumor is you're married. Any comment?" Chris locked eyes with you then smiled a full smile, one that you mirrored before you pinched your lips.

“Tonight is about her and what an amazing accomplishment this is for her and all she's worked for in her career. This place is incredible, and the food was outstanding. So, the only thing I'll say is we’re happily married.”

"Does that mean Chris Evans is finally in love, maybe?" Another smile spread across his face before he pulled you closer, holding you against his chest.

“No maybe about it.” Again, your eyes met, and everyone faded away.

-Chris-

Life is funny. The one thing you swear you don’t want and the thing you run from can turn out to be the one thing you actually need. If anyone would have asked him three years ago if he’d be happily married three years later to the woman of his dreams a woman he loved more than the world with a beautiful daughter he would have said they were nuts. Thinking about what a difference three years made it really showed that nothing is impossible and even though we think we know what’s best fate usually has other plans.

He softly brushed Ella’s hair from her forehead and watched her for a few more minutes. Her bedroom here was different than the one in Boston but she’d picked out everything and loved playing interior designer. He hoped she’d grow to love it as she loved her room in San Francisco. Placing a soft kiss on her temple he walked out and switched on her night light. As he walked through his home he turned off lights and double checked the alarm was armed and his entire world was safe.

As he walked out back to the view that sold him he saw your back turned. You’d always loved this view. Once he was got to you he slinked behind you and wrapped his arms around you. your moan was low and breathy.

“She's fast asleep.” He placed a tender kiss on your neck and trailed it down to your exposed shoulder.

“It was a long night,” you responded burying deeper into his arms. He’d never get over how good it felt to hold you like this. He’d lost hope he ever would. Squeezing you in his embrace he dropped a few more kisses on your skin.

The silence between the two of you stretched, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, it was a silence that brought peace, one that made him feel content for the first time in years.

“Chris,” you began.

“Mmm.”

You took a deep breath and he knew you were preparing to speak. He felt slight anxiety over what you were going to say.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. He almost didn’t hear you.

“For what?”

“Everything, for not telling you about Ella when I found out I was pregnant, for the last six months. How I treated you, all the back and forth, all the pain I caused you. The things I said to you last month. My god, I never meant to hurt you.”

He turned your face to him and kissed you gently. As soon as his lips met yours, he could feel the goosebumps break out on your skin. When his pulled back, he nuzzled your nose then kissed it. All of this felt natural to him. “It’s okay,” he whispered.

“It’s not Chris, I was—horrible,” you added.

“Okay, yes you hurt me—a lot. I don’t think anyone has hurt me the way you have. That alone spoke to me saying that you matter to me when no other before you had. That pain showed me what mattered to me. My career is great and everything but Vixen you and Ella mean so much more to me. So yeah the pain sucked, I’ve never had my heart broken until you.”

It was full honesty, his truth. You looked down and to look away but he wouldn’t let you. He wasn’t having it. “I’m not angry with you Vixen, I’m just glad we have this third try.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Now, we just have to work on those flight instincts.” You smiled just as he did. “Don’t run away from me again sweetheart.” The expression on your face made his heart skip a beat. That was a first, he thought. The name felt natural, it felt like it was meant just for you. Again, he kissed you sweetly but passionately.

“I'm proud of you Vix. You have no idea. Everything tonight was amazing, you really set the bar high for future restaurants.”

“Thank you.”

“So, what’s next for the woman who has broken the glass ceiling that enclosed her? What does the love of my life have on the agenda next?” He nuzzled his bearded cheek against yours smiling when you shivered.

“Well, the cooking show, then another restaurant, maybe a line of pots, cutlery, food products, to begin.”

“Wow. Sounds like a busy few years.”

“From your lips to God’s ears,” you added.

“When do you plan on having these five remaining kids?” You snorted and laughed loudly. It echoed over the backyard and into the night air around you.

“You may be nearing old age, but I am still in my prime.” His laughter was loud, and it boomed in the backyard.

“Plus, I never said I couldn’t do all of this while being barefoot and pregnant.”

He smiled thinking of you that way. He couldn’t wait to see it. Tightening his hold around you, he moaned.

“There is one thing I want first,” he breached.

“You sure want a lot don’t you Mr. Evans.”

“Damn right I do Mrs. Evans.”

“Okay, shoot your shot.” He kissed your ear, then your jaw down to your neck and then your shoulder. Each kiss he placed elicited a moan from you that got sultrier and sultrier.

“A wedding.” You looked back to him and searched his eyes.

“I want to get married again, for real this time.” Slowly you smiled.

“Really?” He nodded his head completely sure about what he wanted. He’d never wanted anything more. The idea of seeing you walk down the aisle to him made his throat tighten from the emotion bubbling within him.

“Yes, and I know the perfect date,” he informed with a smirk. “August 15th, the first day that started it all, the day fate smiled on us.” Just as the words came out, you crushed your lips to his and expertly kissed him lacing your fingers at the back of his head. He was the first to moan but once he did you followed suit.

“I love you,” he mumbled against your lips not wanting to stop the kiss to speak.

“Show me,” you whispered in the same fashion.

He didn’t need to be told twice. He stood then bent to scoop you into his arms and kissed you tenderly--passionately and allowed the intensity to build. It didn’t take long, it never did. As he carried you through the house up the stairs to the bedroom he pressed you on the door and pulled a guttural moan from you.

“Do you still see them?” Knowing just what you were asking he looked around for the ghosts of your love, ghosts that still remained, but were now something else.

“I think I'll always see them, only difference now is they don't haunt me.” You smiled before you kissed him again. When he laid you on his bed he lost himself in your soulful eyes. He’d always loved your eyes. They were the first things he missed.

“You're irresistible, so fucking perfect!” They were the words he said to you three years ago, words he’d uttered truthfully, as he was filled with earthshattering desire for you. The desire he felt now superseded that of the past. What he felt for you now could only be summed up with the word soulmate.

“I'm never going to get you out of my system. I'll never be over you, Vixen. You're my forever home." Your arms and legs wrapped around him and he finally knew what it meant for someone to be your home. You were his, you’d always been and would always be his home.

The End

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Closing Note: Thank you, EVERYONE, for all your support with this fic. Thank you for reading, sharing, commenting, reblogging, sending asks about it. I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH for it!❤❤

I appreciate each and every one of you!!!❤❤

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@airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711 @geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe @evemej @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt @designerwriterchic @chrisgalore @jennmurawski13 @rynabarnesrogers @yunggyeezyy @kemkem101 @dearkyrainez @minton131@momobaby227 @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu @browneyes9125 @mjey12 @magdelen69 @hannahholland1811 @lo-cheu @cocooned-butterfly @firstangeldragonranch @jovanaprime @kemkem101 @gladiatrix14 @soapjay @nico-diangelo-grey

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic #black fanfiction

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pirrha · 3 years

Text

hold on i am going to over-analyse the call of the cryptolith book

I am convinced that Savek killed Kosis due to the whispers persuading her that she should, because I’m pretty sure it was completely unnecessary without context and she could’ve easily become wrathborn without killing Kosis in particular

Going off of what the young dreg said: "Those born only to live cannot see eternity, nor are they welcome here. If you dwell on that which is beyond your grasp you-", basically translating to Savek only surviving (she’s a dreg, ether is scarce + sleep deprived) and is entirely dependent on Kosis rationing out ether i.e dwelling on that which is beyond her grasp. Savek’s also jealous of Kosis being able to have healthy amounts of ether for herself, and if the whispers are attempting to take Savek and ‘welcome her’ then she’d have to do more than just barely live, which means getting rid of the obstacle - Kosis, or any authority (even though she doesn’t need the ether anymore at that point, but it’s like metaphorical in a sense) so it’s like the whispers gave her a whole revenge story to go off of? Well the conversation she had with it probably went along similar lines, and i wouldn’t out it past the whispers to have told the rest of the crew the same thing since starving dregs are easy victims to manipulate

Also the hive artifact was specifically targeting Savek because it was her who heard the whispers first during her shift. it only really spread to the rest of them because Kosis told them to take it apart for spider’s interest, even though she very well knew about hive horrors (whirlwind, destruction of riis). Later she regrets making them interact with the artifact but really it was her own greed that blinded her and it all would have been avoidable, for her crew at least

Kosis’s dying thoughts being the Kell of Kells really drives home the message of the regret she had for leaving her ketch, her family and her daughters. The Prophecy of Rain stating the unision of all houses under one banner will be crowned Kell of Kells just hammers the possibilities of Kosis treasuring her family - being united with them. Also Kosis saying “Another mistake, and we leave you behind." to Savek and it being “less literal and more a euphemism mutated over time through Eliksni cultural drift” reiterates how she left behind her ketch. AND the way that leaving Savek behind is complete exaggeration kind of makes me think that Kosis sees her (and her crew) as family!

In the end, maybe Kosis did get to see her daughters after death, and maybe that’s the closest thing to dignity she would have.

#beyond light spoilers #call of the cryptolith #<tagging because im talking abt it a lot #text #eliksni #<I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ANALYSING THIS FOR IT TO NOT BE IN THE TAG.... FORGIVE ME #savek #kosis

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sinnamonn · 3 years

Text

Now and Then, Here and There

The Secret Society free a former member of the Justice League, one who has seen multiple worlds and have lost just as many.

Warnings: Uhhh suicidal ideation towards the end

“...If I could do that for her,” Grodd gestured to Giganta, “Imagine what I can do for you.” The ape set down the picture frame. Clay face wondered if it was worth it for a minute, sure he wanted to be normal again, but the idea of keeping his powers plus being normal was too good of an offer. it’s not like Sinsetro, Killer Frost, Shade, and Parasite would just follow any villain blindly. He had to have been offering them something just as good.

“I’m in.” He replied, normalcy, sweet normalcy, Clayface could almost taste i

“Perfect. But to do that, we need to pick up one last friend.” He said.

“Wait a minute! You never said anything about another member.” Parasite exclaimed,

“I’m getting impatient, Grodd.” Sinestro added, “Just how long until we take down the league?!”

The group began to become restless, but Grodd remained calm. He was smarter than this whole group combined, after all, he could control them.

“Now, now, If we want to bring down the league she is integral to that.” Grodd said.

“She?” Killer Frost repeated.

“I can see you’re curious. Standing here arguing won’t get her here faster, now, let's take a little field trip to CADMUS.” Grodd started towards the exit. The others held back, exchanging looks.

But Grodd hadn’t lied to them.

So they followed.

“So how are we getting in exactly? CADMUS Labs aren’t exactly a cakewalk.” Shade asked, squeezed into the back seat with the others. Giganta’s car was spacious enough, but it was no minivan. Shade had been sandwiched between Parasite and Sinestro with Clayface and Frost at either windows.

“I’ve been sending out waves to a security guard there, he’ll let us in easy.” Grodd replied

“You really thought of everything, huh?” Giganta smiled at him.

“Of course.”

The lower levels of Cadmus were creepy. Lit by red LEDs and metal walls, the group’s footsteps echoed within the hallways. The red also illuminated...things, dead things preserved in formaldehyde. Aliens maybe? Failed experiments?

“Creepy…”

“The one we’re getting is alive right?” Shade asked, “ I’m good with a lot of things but carrying around a corpse isn’t one of them.”

“Not to worry, our new friend is very much alive, she’s just sleeping.” Grodd answered.

“That’s what my folks told me when my dog died when I was a kid, you sure about that Grodd?” Clayface questioned him.

“I’m absolutely positive, why would CADMUS keep a dead body under lock and key?”

“Touché.”

A door with a passcode lock, reinforced with steel.

“Frost?” Grodd said, not taking his eyes off the door.

“On it.” She placed her hand on the lock ,freezing and then destroying the keypad. With the security system broken, the inner locks released, revealing a small room. It was barren save for a few small tables towards the back surrounding a single cryogenic sleep container.

“Is that a kid in there!?” Clayface asked, squinting into the chamber’s small window. He was correct, floating inside the chamber was a small girl with an oxygen mask attached to her face. What had to be the most eye-catching thing about this girl was her hair, vibrant orange floated around her face, but the roots and bangs were a stark white in comparison.

“They just locked her up and left her here?” Giganta turned to Grodd, he nodded, a grim look on his face.

“Unfortunately yes, probably for years, the extent to which CADMUS is willing to go is horrifying.” He explained, “But before we free our new friend, it’s imperative that from now on we call the Justice League the Justice Lords.”

“Justice Lords?” Shade repeated, “Why the change?”

“You’ll see.” Grodd simply replied, inputting the code to the container's keypad. The sound of air letting out of the container filled the room, opening and fully revealing the girl. She looked so fragile and pale, her skin nearly pure white from the lack of sun .

Giganta was the one to catch the girl before she hit the ground, gently removing the oxygen mask from her face.

Oh, she had freckles.

Still, the redhead didn’t move and for a moment Grodd though that she was actually dead. Maybe CADMUS really did keep a dead body under lock and key?

The girl’s sleep-filled groan proved otherwise, and once again Grodd was right.

“Wha…?” Bleary, half lidded eyes scanned their surroundings. Seemingly upon realizing the company, the girl yelled and scrambled out of Giganta’s hold, shakily getting to her feet. “Who are you!? What world is this!?” Her eyes shot manically around the room, “Where am I!?”.

“Hey, calm down! What are you talking about?” Parasite said.

“ What’s happening in this world!?” She reiterated, only to be met with silent confusion. She sighed, “Are Themyscira and Atlantis at war?”

“Uh, no?” Clayface answered.

“Is Darkseid on earth?”

“Nope.” Shade replied

“Is Superman a communist?”

“Wha-? I don’t think he’s a communist?” Parasite answered confusedly.

“I’ll take that as a no, what about the Justice League? Are they still the league or are they a crime syndicate?” The redhead pressed.

“No, they don’t call themself that.” Grodd replied before anyone else had a chance to, the girl let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok, good, The Flash in that world was a major creep.” She replied, the soft smile she held faded when she saw Grodd’s expression.

“They don’t call themselves the Justice League either…” He trailed off. A manipulation tactic meant for the girl to fill in the blanks herself, and it worked.

“No...they’re calling themselves the Justice Lords, aren’t they?” She raked a hand through her hair, “ Damn it! I was so close this time…”

Grodd nodded, “I’m afraid so, they’re also the reason you were held by CADMUS.”

“Checks out. So I take it you guys are a resistance group now?” She questioned, turning her attention back to the others. The gorilla smiled down at her,

“You catch on fast. We call ourselves the Secret Society, I am—“

“Gorilla Grodd,” She interrupted and turned to the others, “and you’re Giganta, Shade, Parasite, Clayface, don’t know you but judging by the uniform you’re a red lantern, and Killer Frost. Some of us have met in other worlds.”

Awkward silence, the society looked between themselves, not knowing how to react to that.

Shade cleared his throat, “well, you seem to already know us, that just leaves you then.”

The girl chuckled dryly, “The only thing that truly stays consistent...Call me Illusium. Now let's get out of here before those fascists realize I’m out. ”

As if on cue, an alarm went off.

“Little late for that.” Giganta stated, looking from the door to the girl. Illusium merely smirked.

“CADMUS’s foot soldiers are no problem.” Illusium’ s hospital gown rustled as she walked out, facing the coming security officers, “Thought you could keep me locked up?” She glared at them, pupil’s beginning to glow red, “Idiots.” A simple wave of her hand, the guards stopped, looking wide-eyed at nothing. At least, that’s what the rest of the society thought. To Illusium and the guards, in front of them was one of Darkseid’s paradooms. Of course, only Illusium knew it was an illusion, what kind of League member would she be if she didn’t have control of her powers?

Besides, paradooms didn’t scare her anymore.

Yelling, blind shooting, bullets flying in the opposite direction; the guards were distracted, giving the others ample time to escape.

“Let’s go before they realize it’s a fake!” The redhead called back to the others before taking off.

“What did ya do to em’!?” Clayface asked, Illusium laughed.

“Made ‘em see something scary!”

They burned rubber speeding out of CADMUS, the first phase in Grodd’s plan going smoothly and with no interference from the League. This time around, in this world, the Secret Society was practically guaranteed to win.

“This is familiar.” Illusium stated, walking around the Society’s base; taking in all the computers and tech they had managed to compile. She had changed out of the hospital gown, now wearing a comically oversized sweater originally belonging to Giganta.

“So you’ve been here before?” Killer frost asked, Illusuim only shook her head.

“Not here exactly, but similar.”

Shade chimed in, “I gotta know what you did back there, you made those guards look terrified of thin air.”

“It’s a part of my power, I can project pieces of my memories onto whoever I choose to,” She explained, “the other part of it is immortality through quantum death. You guys know what that is, right?”

“Familiar with the concept, but who am I to explain your power?” Grodd replied.

“‘Kay...So it’s like this: you’re sitting on the ledge of a cliff, you decide whether or not to jump, but in the end you jump. The very moment that decision is made, a parallel universe where you didn’t jump is created, and here’s where my ability comes in,” Illusium swallowed, “Everytime I die I’m transported to a different world, all my memories of the previous one stay intact.”

“So that’s why you were freaking out about what world this was?” Parasite asked, she nodded.

“Yep, I call it the Death Loop.” Illusium.

“That sounds...intense.” Gigianta said, “How did you even figure that out?”

“Well, At first I thought I could temporarily shift to parallel realities. In that first world, myself and the League went to fight Darkseid, but little did we know he had planted spyware on one of us and...he...he killed everyone.” She scratched at her wrist, laughing nervously, “Including me. One minute I’m being torn apart by paradooms and the next thing I know. Amazons and Altlantians are killing each other and Wonder Woman is running a sword through me!”

“It was so weird. Sometimes it was minor changes, the league was fully intact except for a different Green Lantern or different Flash, and other times it was completely haywire, like they weren’t the Justice League at all but instead they were a crime syndicate and everyone looked and acted so different. The worst part was constantly seeing people you’ve known most of your life look at you like an enemy, or even worse a stranger.”

Killer Frost put a hand on her shoulder, snapping her out of her manic talk. “Don’t worry, this world’s gonna be different , for everyone.”

“Yeah, we’ll make it right!” Gigianta added.

Grodd and Shade stood away from the group, both of them watching as Illusium chatted away with the rest of the group.

“What’re you planning?” Shade asked, looking to the Gorilla

“Oh, it’s nothing elaborate. Illusium is a former league member, she knows how they think, how they fight. With her thinking they’re the bad guys our victory will be as easy as taking candy from a baby.”

“True, someone from the inside gives us an advantage, but what if she realizes that you’re lying.”

“She won’t. She’s lost so many worlds that she’ll cling to the first semblance of allyship offered to her.” He turned to rejoin the rest of the group, “So make sure all of you play nice.”

That night, Illusium lay on top of the Society’s hideout. They couldn’t sleep, probably because they’d been in cryogenic sleep for god knows how long. The stars were different here, they were always different depending on the world.

She wondered what the stars would look like in the world after this one?

Illusium could find out if they were to jump. It would be easy, they’d die from shock before hitting the ground and—

She shook her head, no, no suicide. Illusium needed to stay here, she needed to help the Society , she needed to find a world without losers and this one had barely even started. She needed to fight.

“Hey there.” Without noticing Killer Frost had taken a seat next to her, “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I’ve been asleep for god knows how long,” Illusium replied, not taking her eyes off the sky, “what about you?”

“Curious, I wanna know the dirt you have on the others. You know, from the other worlds?” Frost elaborated.

Despite looking different, Frost still acted the same as she did back in Arkham. Illusium gave them a half smile,

“Looking for dirt on the rest of the Society or just other villains in general, ‘cause I’ve seen so many versions of everyone.”

Killer frost shrugged and Illusium took that as the latter.

“Well, for starters, the two of us met back in Arkham.” Illusium started, “We were on Task Force X with Quinn, Copperhead, Deadshot, and some other guys.”

“Task Force X?” Killer Frost repeated.

“A suicide squad.”

“Oh. So we…”

“Yeah, we died.”

“Lame.”

“I know right?” Illusium chuckled, “ but that world was fun. You and Harley made it fun.”

The two stayed up for hours, talking about the past worlds Illusium had been, how in one Harley Quinn had her own villain league, the “superman is a commie” world, and one where there was a new Batman, one that was much more spry than the original.

Illusium had to stay here. Stay and fix this world, maybe once they had taken out the Justice Lords she could find a way to prevent Darkseid from coming here.

She wouldn’t let this world end in tragedy like the others.

#self ship #💚 platonic #self ship writing #🏩self insert🏩#self insert #justice league self insert #🪦now and then/here and there🪦#dc self insert #🍒giacore🍒

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chloelucia13 · 4 years

Text

Chapter 10: Dig Dug

Pairing: none for the moment (currently Jonathan Byers x Platonic!Henderson!reader)

Prompt: You always thought Hawkins was the most boring town of all, stuck in a vacuum void of excitement and entertainment. Well, it seems that way until the world decided to flip upside down, literally.

Chapter Summary: You decided to stick with Joyce and Will to help them with... whatever the hell was happening, but the situation only seemed to spiral more and more out of control with each passing moment.

Warnings: fluff, a tiny bit of angst, horror elements, language, this chapter is pretty chill (for once)

Word Count: 2356

A/N: Work has been kicking my butt, so sorry if these seem a little rushed (I hope they don’t)!! Also, Jonathan won’t really be involved in a few chapters due to the storyline, but he’ll be back! Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy! Tag list is open!

Catch up

Tags: @just-my-fandom @nightbu-g

You and Joyce sat in the living room as Mike and Will talked in Will’s room, all of you knowing that Mike could get through to Will the best.

“Are you positive that you haven’t experienced anything like this?” Joyce asked once more after a beat of silence.

You shook your head, running a hand through your hair. “No, not even close. I mean, I’ve thought I’ve seen things, but not to this extent. I-I know those things were in my mind, but...” You let out a sigh. “I can’t really tell if this is in his head or not. If what he’s seeing is just his hallucinations or-”

“Or if that gate is opened,” Joyce finished.

“Exactly.” Your teeth tugged at your lower lip, staring at the carpet.

“Y/N,” Mike voiced from behind you, and you turned your head to look at him. “Will wants to talk to you.”

Letting out a deep breath, you pushed yourself to your feet and made your way back to Will’s room. “Will?” you hummed as you pushed his door open, peeking your head inside. “Can I come in?”

He nodded, staring straight ahead at the wall. You entered, closing the door behind you before sitting down next to him on his bed. He stayed silent, lips pursed tightly.

“What’s up? How are you feeling?”

He shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. I...”

You just nodded, resting your hand on his shoulder.

“I’m scared, Y/N.”

“I know,” you whispered. “But whatever is going on, whatever this thing is-” you gestured to the drawing of the odd creature looming over the town on his bedside table- “we’re gonna beat it. We have before, and we’ll do it again.”

“I don’t know if we can. He... I think he’s inside me. Watching. Listening.”

A small wrinkle rested between your brows as he spoke. “Well, if he’s in you, there has to be a way to get him out of you, right?” He nodded. “Well then that’s all we have to do, okay? No biggie.”

Though you were speaking to him, you felt as if you were trying to reassure yourself rather than him.

“Will you stay with me?” Will spoke up.

You nodded, offering him a kind smile. “Of course. I was planning on spending the night anyways.”

***

After a night of little to no sleep, you groggily woke up at around 6:30 a.m., wrapped in Jonathan’s sheets in Jonathan’s bed. After your memories caught back up to you, you let out a sigh and turned to stare out of his window, watching the sun rise through the slits of his blinds.

A few moments later, you rolled out of bed, walked out of his bedroom and into the living room. Will stood over Joyce who was sat on the door, and Mike stood behind them, you behind them all.

“I think he is going to die,” Will spoke gravely, and your heart sank to the pit of your stomach.

Joyce processed his words for a moment before pushing herself off the floor and taking Will’s hand, leading him back to his room. “What’s going on?” you asked Mike as the two of you followed behind them.

“Will had a dream. He saw Hopper,” Mike rushed out as you stepped into Will’s room.

Joyce had already sat Will down at his desk and hurried out of the room to find a sheet of paper, returning a few moments later with a square of wrapping paper. She set it down in front of Will. “Okay, I need you to show me where he was,” she explained, resting one hand on his shoulder.

Will nodded and immediately got to work, scribbling his crayons against the paper with vigor. As every second passed, your heart rate increased. You knew something bad was happening, and it was driving you crazy that you were standing there idly rather than going out and looking for him.

After a few minutes, Will pulled away from the paper, leaning back in his seat. Joyce leaned down next to him, looking between him and the drawing. “Hey, is this where you saw him? Is this where you saw Hopper?” she asked, growing panicked.

“I think so, yeah,” Will voiced softly, seeming completely drained.

“Okay.” She took the paper from the desk and looked back at you and Mike before beginning to search around the room for the pattern of the location he had drawn.

Eventually, you had left his room, went down the hall, and passed through the living room with no sign of the location.

“Here!” Mike shouted from the kitchen, pointing at a grouping of papers on the wall.

You and Joyce quickly rushed over, and Joyce held the drawing up to the spot to show that it matched. “Okay, so... Hopper is here?” Joyce asked.

“Yeah. Now we just need to find out where here is, right?” Mike responded, looking between you and Joyce and the location.

“Did he say anything? I mean, before he left?” you asked Joyce, scanning the wall for any hint as to where that location could be.

“Uh, some... Something about vines?” she sighed out, her face scrunching up with frustration and confusion.

Just as you were about to ask what that meant, you all heard the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house.

“Hopper,” she voiced before you all rushed to the living room, looking out the windows to see.

Instead of Hopper’s patrol car, Bob’s red Toyota was parked in the dirt patch. Bob got out of the car a moment later, stepping out and grabbing a few things from his back seat.

Joyce glanced around the room before stepping out the front door and closing it behind her.

“Well, there goes hiding this from Bob,” you sighed, sitting down on the couch.

“Oh come on, I think he’s oblivious enough not to notice,” Mike reassured.

You furrowed your brows at him. “The papers or the monsters?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “The monsters, obviously.”

Just then, Joyce basically burst through the door, Bob in tow. Wordlessly, she led Bob into the living room before leaving the room to go get Will. Bob just stared at the patterns on the wall, and continued to long after Joyce brought Will into the room.

You all stood behind him, waiting in anxious anticipation as he just stared silently.

“Huh,” he finally voiced. “Hmm.” He turned his head to look at Will. “You drew all these yourself?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Joyce impatiently hummed.

“Why exactly?” Bob began.

“I told you the rules,” Joyce explained, cutting him off. “No questions, okay?” Bob nodded, and Joyce stepped into the kitchen. “We... We just need you to help us figure out what-” She stopped and turned to see everyone still standing in the same place. “Bob? Bob?” With a movement of her hand, she instructed him to follow her. “Over here.”

Bob handed the stack of books and puzzles to you before following Joyce into the kitchen. You shared a look with Mike and Will before you all went into the kitchen, as well.

Joyce picked up a red crayon and began drawing a large red “x” on the location that you all were focusing on. “Where... Where this is,” Joyce finished her thought, pointing to the new red mark on the location.

“That’s the objective. Find the x,” Mike explained.

“Yeah? What’s at the x? Pirate treasure?” Bob joked, chuckling.

“Bob, no questions,” Joyce reiterated.

“Okay,” Bob sighed, examining the area around it. He stood there in thought, clicking his tongue for a moment, before stepping over to Joyce. “Let me talk to you for a second. Hang on guys.”

The two of them stepped out of the room and you let out a sigh, sitting down in a chair. “Well this is going great,” you huffed, resting your head on your hand.

“He’ll come around, just give him time,” Mike tried to reassure you.

As if on cue, Bob and Joyce stepped out from the hallway, Bob with a boost of enthusiasm as he examined the patterns. “And if you just follow it naturally...” he explained, walking along the living room floor. “It moves to the Eno river.” He stopped in front of a grouping before turning to Joyce. “And there it is. That’s the Eno. Do you see it?”

He didn’t even give her a moment to answer before continuing to move. “Okay, so the lines aren’t roads. But they act like roads. And they act like roads because when you follow them, you’ll see they don’t go over water.” Both of them stepped into the kitchen. “And that’s the giveaway. That’s the giveaway! Ha!” He walked around the kitchen, all of you turning to follow his movements. “Don’t you get it? It’s not a puzzle, it’s a map. It’s a map of Hawkins.”

You, Joyce, and Mike all shared a look with Will, the puzzle pieces connecting in all your minds.

“Right, Will?”

*** You, Will, and Mike were all crammed into the back of Joyce’s car as Joyce drove, Bob in the passenger seat giving her directions. “There’s nothing. There’s nothing here,” Mike grumbled, frustrated.

“Are... Are we close?” Joyce urged, glancing between Bob and the road.

“We’re in the vicinity,” Bob explained.

“What’s that mean, the vicinity?” Will asked.

“It means we’re close. I don’t know, it’s not precise.”

“But we did all that work!” Joyce sighed.

As Bob began to explain why it was off, Will jolted up in his seat. “Turn right!” he announced.

“What?” Joyce asked, turning around to look at him.

“I saw him.”

“Where?”

“Not here. In my now-memories.”

Bob turned to glance at him this time. “In your what?” he asked incredulously.

“Turn right!” Will demanded, and Joyce obliged, taking a harsh right turn straight into a field and running into a bale of hay. You all began screaming, completely panicked and overwrought with stress.

Joyce’s car screeched to a halt just inches behind Hopper’s cruiser. You all flew forward from the change of speed, and you let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Are you okay?” Joyce asked, turning to the three of you in the back seat.

You all nodded, trying to regulate your breathing. “What’s Jim doing here? Joyce?” Bob urged.

Joyce ignored him, getting unbuckled. “I need you three to stay here,” she instructed.

“No mom, mom, mom. It’s not safe,” Will begged, trying to convince her to stay as she got out of the car.

“That’s why I need you to stay here! Stay here!” She closed her door and Bob got out with her, leaving the three of you all alone in the car. You all watched out the window as they walked past Hopper’s car and crawled into a hole, then disappearing from sight.

You let out a sigh, leaning back against the seat. “Well, this is the third time this week I’ve been ditched. That’s like a new record,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms over your chest and staring down at your lap.

“What were the other two times?” Mike asked.

You shook your head, closing your eyes. “Sorry, just forget I said that.”

“No, seriously. When did you get ditched?”

You chewed on your lower lip for a moment. “Jonathan left me at that Halloween party so he could take Nancy home,” you whispered. “And then both of them just disappeared yesterday and never even told me about anything. I’ve been having to hang out with Steve fucking Harrington.”

They both were silent for a moment. “Why would he do that?”

You shrugged. “People do stupid things for love. Don’t act like themselves. I don’t blame them.”

“Wait, you’re saying that Jonathan loves Nancy?”

You furrowed your brows, giving Mike a confused look. “You can’t tell?”

“I can tell that he likes you-”

“I know that you all like pushing the narrative that Jonathan and I are going to date, but it isn’t gonna happen. He likes Nancy, end of story.”

“He likes you too,” Will spoke up. “And I think he’s stupid for doing that.”

You chuckled, shaking your head slightly. “Thanks, Will.”

After a few moments of silence, you all began getting antsy. The back seat felt all too small, and you needed a breath of fresh air to calm your thoughts. With a huff, you pushed open the car door and got out, Will and Mike following behind you.

You all walked past Hopper’s car and over to the crevice in the ground. “Do you see anything?” Mike asked. “I mean, in your now-memories?”

Will shook his head, glancing around nervously.

Suddenly, the sound of tires screeching behind you made you all jump, and you turned to see a fleet of large white vans pulling into the large field. “Shit, shit, shit,” you grumbled, pulling both of the boys back and away from the hole.

You all watched to see dozens of men suited in silver hazmat suits and armed with weapons get out of the trucks and file into the hole in the earth. You gripped onto both of the boys’ shoulders as the men rushed past you three.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you whispered, both to yourself and to the boys. “They’re getting them out. It’s gonna be okay.” You all stared at the hole in silent anticipation as multiple officials and other workers from Hawkins Lab began searching the area, completely disregarding you three.

In a split second, Will slipped from your grip and onto the cold earth, curling into a ball and crying out in pain. You and Mike dropped to your knees, immediately trying to help Will as he writhed around on the ground. “Will, are you okay? What’s going on?” you asked him, searching his face as your heart raced.

Will flopped onto his back and let out an ear-splitting scream. You pushed yourself back and glanced around to see if anyone could help.

Will’s screams grew louder and louder as his body convulsed, and you felt helpless as you sat next to him and watched him suffer.

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hysterialevi · 4 years

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His Name Was Isaac - Ch. 3

Fanfic summary: During a mission to avenge his mother’s death, Isaac hunts down the men responsible for her murder and kills them off one-by-one, only to discover that his last target is taking refuge among the Van der Linde gang. In an attempt to kill them, Isaac attacks the gang and unknowingly becomes enemies with his own father, who is in the process of fighting his own battle for redemption.

Point of view: third-person

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This story is also on AO3

ONE WEEK LATER

OUTSKIRTS OF BLACKWATER

Steadily moving his line of sight just along the distant horizon, Shay Mackintosh kept a close eye on the bank in Blackwater as a number of customers went in and out, completely oblivious to the gang that lurked no more than a stone’s throw away from them.

At the moment, the town seemed pretty calm. Normal. Ordinary. Not nearly as hostile as the last time Shay set foot there. That must’ve meant that the people had either grown too comfortable with their lives, or that there was someone else guarding the perimeter for them. And considering the rumors of Pinkertons roaming around Tall Trees, Shay assumed it was the latter.

...Dammit, he mentally cursed to himself.

The last thing the Van der Lindes needed to worry about right now were Pinkertons. Dutch was already close to losing his mind as it was, and with the Skinner Brothers’ growing presence in West Elizabeth, Shay doubted the man would be calming down anytime soon.

If federal agents started going after them... well, he didn’t even wanna think about the chaos they’d cause.

Though... this could’ve been a blessing in disguise, depending on how one looked at it. As money-hungry as their gang was, Shay could see that everyone was anxious to get out of West Elizabeth and move on somewhere safer. Somewhere that didn’t have lawmen or rival gangs prowling around every corner.

A few of the other members had already expressed their concerns surrounding the upcoming robbery in Blackwater, and with the presence of Pinkertons now being an issue, Shay expected there would be even more infighting back at their hideout.

If too many threats presented themselves at the same time... perhaps Dutch would finally see sense and agree to relocate their camp.

But... then again, that could’ve just been wishful thinking on Shay’s part. Dutch was known for his stubbornness, after all, and Mackintosh couldn’t remember the last time their leader ever swayed his mind about something without raising hell about it first.

If he truly had his mind set on robbing this godforsaken bank, then... Shay supposed that was what they’d do. Dutch was the boss in the end of the day, and his word was practically law.

It didn’t mean Shay wasn’t worried, though.

“Mackintosh...!” A man’s voice suddenly called out from behind, cutting off Shay’s train of thought.

The outlaw whipped around in alarm and instantly reached for his pistol, only to come to a halt once he saw who it was.

“Jesus, Arthur...!” he whispered in a startled tone. “I nearly blew your goddamn head off. Thought you was one of them Skinner boys.”

The older man chuckled, crouching down so that he was at the same level as Shay.

“I’ll try not to take that as an insult. What’re you doin’ out here?”

Mackintosh returned to his binoculars, focusing the lenses. “Dutch asked me to scout the place out before we move in. He wanted to know what we’re dealin’ with.”

Arthur leaned closer to Shay and squinted his eyes, trying to follow the man’s gaze. “...And? You see anything worth noting? How many guards are at that bank?”

“Well... I’ve counted about a dozen so far, though there could be more I’m not seeing. They switch every once in a while, but it ain’t often. Not many openings for us to charge in.”

Shay lowered his binoculars for a second, turning to face Arthur. “...I won’t lie to you, Morgan. It’s gonna be difficult to rob this bank. The whole thing’s under heavy guard, and there are Pinkertons wanderin’ in the streets now. It’d be a huge risk to grab this score, even with all our men.”

The other man held his hand out. “Here. Lemme take a look.”

Passing the device over to Arthur, Shay patiently stood by as the man thoroughly scanned the area, picking up every detail he possibly could.

“Yeah...” Arthur muttered worriedly, “...security’s gotten real tight in Blackwater, that’s for sure.”

“And you still think it’s a good idea to hit this town?” Shay questioned.

“It don’t matter what I think,” Morgan replied. “It ain’t up to me.”

“No, but I imagine you still have a mind of your own, don’t you? As well as your own concerns.”

The older man gave him a cautionary side glance. “It sounds like you’ve got some, Mackintosh. Care to share?”

Shay sighed in a defeated manner. “Look, I know Dutch thinks this’ll be a easy score since Blackwater’s such a small town, but small doesn’t always mean easy. It just means more concentrated. I mean, look at this place.”

He gestured to the settlement in front of them. “Blackwater’s essentially one, giant square. All the buildings are more-or-less in the same area, and it ain’t nearly as convoluted as the other cities we’ve hit. There are fewer blind spots to worry about. Fewer entrances to keep an eye on. Fewer places for us to hide if things go south. And there’s also the fact that Pinkertons have been seen in Tall Trees. If this plan goes awry--”

“--It won’t.” Arthur interrupted.

“...If it does,” Shay reiterated, “we’ll be dead men. The law will have no problems cagin’ us in, and we’ll be hanged on the spot.”

As much as Arthur hated to admit it, the man had a point. Blackwater wasn’t exactly the ideal place for an outlaw to be right now, and with all the threats surrounding them in this area, he couldn’t deny that he thought they might’ve been better off staying the hell away from this town.

But even then, his thoughts were irrelevant. No matter what his opinions were, it was Dutch who always had the final say, and Arthur knew damn well that a few lawmen strolling about wouldn’t be enough to scare the old man off.

If they were going to convince Dutch to leave Blackwater alone, they’d need one hell of a good reason. And at the moment, Arthur couldn’t think of one.

“Look,” Arthur said, keeping his voice down, “I hear you, Shay. But like I said before, it ain’t my choice whether we stick around or not. That’s Dutch’s decision.”

Shay persisted. “Well, yeah, but you’re the only one he actually listens to. That’s why I’m tellin’ you this, Morgan. If you speak with Dutch, he might see where we’re coming from.”

Arthur put the binoculars down. “And if he doesn’t, we risk being accused of being traitors.”

Mackintosh quirked a brow. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“That’s how Dutch’s mind works now,” Morgan explained. “I dunno if you’ve noticed, but he’s a paranoid mess these days. He values loyalty above everything else in this world, and in his head, loyalty means you don’t question anything he does. If I bring up our concerns about this robbery and Dutch doesn’t see reason, he’ll lose all his faith in us. I’ve seen previous gang members get shot over less.”

Shay’s expression froze with shock. “Jesus. I knew Dutch was unstable, but that’s downright lunacy.”

Arthur sighed in frustration. “He ain’t a lunatic. He’s just...” he trailed off, unable to find the right words. “...look, forget it. Let’s just get back to camp. I’m sure Dutch is waiting to hear what we’ve found.”

Shay took his binoculars back, sliding them into his satchel. “And then you’ll have a word with him?”

The other man rose to his feet, nodding in response. “I’ll... I’ll see what I can do. I ain’t gonna promise anything, but I’ll try to make him see reason.”

Mackintosh followed Arthur’s actions and returned to his horse, preparing to head back to camp. “Thank you, Arthur. That’s all I ask. Lots of folk are nervous about this robbery, and I wouldn’t wanna see half our gang get wiped out all because of one mistake.”

Arthur thought back to the ferry job they did eight years ago, not even bothering to point out the extreme irony in Shay’s statement.

“...No,” he settled for, sounding much more regretful than before. “We wouldn’t.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A LITTLE LATER

AURORA BASIN

Opening the door to Dutch’s cabin, Arthur and Shay both sauntered into the cold living room as the smell of lingering smoke smacked them in the face, causing the latter to let out a series of coughs.

At the moment, Dutch was mindlessly chewing on the tip of a freshly-lit pipe and steadily pacing around the room, allowing him to think more intently as he listened to Micah prattle on about some nonsense.

It looked like the other man had just returned from his own journey, judging by the heavy satchel slung over his shoulder. There didn’t seem to be much in it other than a few dead rabbits, and considering the fact that there was still some blood on Micah’s glove, Arthur assumed the man had been out hunting.

About time he did something useful, Arthur thought. The man rarely ever lifted a finger around camp other than to swat flies, and when he wasn’t irritating the hell out of the other gang members, he was back in this cabin, doing whatever he could to lick Dutch’s boots. Though, this time... the tone of Micah’s voice suggested he may have been here for another reason.

“Shay! Arthur!” Dutch barked once his gaze landed on the two new guests in his cabin. “You’re back. What did you learn?”

“The bank’s locked up tight, Dutch,” Mackintosh answered, stepping closer to him. “We counted about a dozen guards standing outside of it, and I also spotted some new security measures while we was there. They’ve got more walls. More gates. More places to trap us if we ain’t careful. This is gonna be a risky job no matter how many people we bring.”

The older man didn’t seem pleased. “Well, that’s good to know, but I thought I told you to be discreet.”

Shay blinked in confusion. “We... were. We didn’t set a single foot in Blackwater and scouted it from the outskirts. Just like you said.”

“Oh, is that so? Then why is it that there’s someone in town looking for us?”

Arthur jumped in, his interest now piqued. “Wait, there is?”

Dutch gestured to Micah. “Yeah, Micah saw him. He was just telling me about it before you boys walked in. Said he spotted them in the saloon.”

The other man nodded casually. “Sure did. It was a young man. About this tall. Blonde. I didn’t catch his name, but he was askin’ all sorts of folk if they knew who the Van der Lindes were. Also if they knew Dutch. He seemed pretty determined to find us. Luckily, he didn’t notice me.”

Arthur rubbed his chin, suddenly feeling a lot less confident about bringing up his concerns to Dutch. “...Shit. Was he a lawman?”

Micah shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. He didn’t look like one. Didn’t have no shiny badge neither. My guess is he’s a bounty hunter.”

Shay furrowed his brows. “A single bounty hunter tracking us down all by himself? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Arthur took on a more cautionary tone. “Who says he’s by himself? You’d have to be a fool to fight a gang on your own. It’s most-likely he’s got more friends that we haven’t seen yet.”

Micah shrugged. “That, or he doesn’t realize how close he is to us. Probably thinks he’s still got a ways to go before worryin’ about any sort of fighting. After all, no one expects to find what’s right under their nose.”

Mackintosh changed the subject. “Either way, if this man’s asking questions all around town, he’s gonna draw attention to us. We need to deal with him before anyone else takes an interest.”

“He’s right,” Arthur agreed, turning to Dutch. “You want us to deal with him, Dutch? We can go back to Blackwater. Take him out right now.”

“No.” The man responded, causing all three of them to fall silent.

“...No?” Micah asked, significantly more concerned now. “But if we don’t kill him now, he’s bound to find our camp later.”

Dutch grinned deviously at that. “Exactly. It’s too risky for us to attack him when he’s in the heart of civilization. There are too many obstacles. Too many guards. Too many people. So, instead... I say we let him find us. We’ll play along, let him think that we don’t know what he’s doing, and when he finally comes waltzing into the lion’s den -- that’s when we’ll strike.”

“But what if he’s not alone?” Arthur pointed out. “We’ll have an entire group of bounty hunters right on our doorstep.”

“Then we fight.” Dutch said plainly. “We have enough men to deal with a few guns. We’ll be alright. For now, though, just stay focused on the bank. I don’t want any of you worrying about no bounty hunters unless we have to. Understand?”

The three of them exchanged looks for a moment, ultimately deciding that it wasn’t worth an argument.

“Of course, Dutch,” Micah finally complied. “You’re the boss.”

The older man appeared satisfied with that answer. “Good. Now get back to work. All of you. This bank ain’t gonna open itself.”

Ending the conversation there, Dutch put his smoking pipe away and gave a simple wave of the hand, signaling for everyone to return to their lives while he wandered back to his rocking chair.

Shay and Micah were already halfway out the front door by the time Dutch took a seat, but as always, Arthur remained the odd one out and stayed in place, pondering what he should do next.

Unbeknownst to him however, he wasn’t the only one thinking.

“...I know that look, Arthur.” Dutch remarked, his back turned to him. “I’ve known it for the past eight years. There’s somethin’ you wanna say, isn’t there?”

The younger outlaw hesitated for a second, unsure of whether he should tell the truth.

“...Yeah...” he grumbled out, “but you ain’t gonna like it.”

Dutch chuckled. “Try me.”

Walking up to Dutch, Arthur took a while to gather his thoughts before joining the other man’s side, stopping to lean against a nearby table. He still wasn’t entirely certain if he wanted to express his true thoughts to his friend, but deep down, Arthur knew that what Mackintosh said at Blackwater had merit in it.

“...I think we should leave Blackwater alone.” Arthur admitted at last, earning a puzzled look from Dutch.

The older outlaw paused for a moment, wrapping his head around what the other just said.

“Leave Blackwater... alone?” He repeated, clearly not on board with the idea.

“It’s too risky, Dutch. We don’t even know if the bank is worth it. We’ve got no idea how much cash is really bein’ held in that vault, and on top of that, there’s a shit ton of guards patrolling the area. You heard Shay back there. They’ll shoot us down before we even reach the building.”

“Which probably means there’s a lot of money just sittin’ in there waiting to be stolen! Why else would the security be so tight?”

Arthur knew he was going to say that. “And what about these Pinkertons? We’ve all heard the rumors. They’ve been seen in Tall Trees, Dutch. That’s right outside our camp! All they have to do is take one wrong step, and they’ll be on top of us before we know it. We have to leave now. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in Blackwater eight years ago. You remember the chaos that led to?”

Dutch sighed. “Of course I do. But we won’t make that mistake again. This time, we’ll be better prepared.”

The younger man held his hands out in a perplexed manner. “How? We have even fewer men than we did for the ferry job, and the bounty on our heads is bigger than ever. How are our chances gonna be any higher for this score?”

“Because we have you now.” Dutch said. “You wasn’t with us for the ferry job, and neither was Hosea. And look how that turned out.”

He stood up from his chair and placed a reassuring hand on Arthur’s shoulder, looking him in the eye. “But we have your help this time. Hosea may not be with us anymore, but I know for a fact you wouldn’t let me down, son. I have no doubts that this job’ll go just fine.”

Arthur saw right through the flattery and put his hands on his hips, completely at a loss for words.

There was nothing he could say or do that would convince Dutch to leave Blackwater, was there? The man was entirely obsessed with the city by now, and Arthur knew that at the heart of it, none of this really had anything to do with the money in the first place. It was purely about Dutch’s pride.

He knew that Dutch still hadn’t gotten over what happened to them all those years ago, and he knew that the old man wouldn’t take his eyes off this town until he managed to pull off a successful score.

He was falling victim to his own insanity, and Arthur had no other choice but to try and pull him away from the edge. It was one hell of a risky move to make, but he decided it’d be worth it.

Arthur let out a remorseful breath and lowered his head, almost whispering his next words.

“...You’re losin’ yourself, Dutch.” He said vehemently. “I can see it everyday. More and more of the old you is just... vanishing.”

The older outlaw appeared taken aback by the abrupt notion and narrowed his eyes, almost looking offended.

“Losing myself?” He replied, his voice dangerously calm. “...How so?”

Arthur gestured vaguely at the room around them. “Look at what we’re doing, Dutch. How many men have we lost just tryin’ to reach Blackwater? Not to mention actually stealing from it. Our gang is dyin’ out here. This area’s too dangerous for the likes of us, and yet... we won’t leave. You won’t leave. The Dutch I know would’ve packed his bags long ago.”

The other man fell silent at that and tightened his lips, making an expression that said Arthur had just crossed the line.

“You think I’m losin’ myself.” Dutch parroted once again, his tone completely flat. “You think... I’m... losing. Myself.”

He took a few steps away from Arthur and began pacing around the room, chuckling to himself in a heartbroken manner.

“...Hosea is dead, Arthur,” Dutch stated, sounding more feral with every passing second. “John is a traitor. My health is deteriorating, we have the law on our tail, and now, the only son I have left thinks I’ve gone crazy--”

The tyrannical man brought his gaze back to Arthur, his eyes wide open with madness.

“Of course, I’m losing myself, Arthur! Wouldn’t you? This world... has gone to shit! Civilization has no room for folk like us, and even within our own world of murderers, thieves, and rapists -- we are still tearing ourselves apart! I have sacrificed everything to keep this gang afloat, even when we went through hell! You are my family, Arthur. You, Hosea, John, Miss Grimshaw... you were all my family. But just like the rest of them, you’re startin’ to lose faith in me too!”

Dutch pulled his revolver out, blatantly aiming the weapon at Arthur.

“Are you gonna leave me, Arthur? You gonna turn your back on me and leave me to the goddamn wolves, just like the rest of them? Are you a snake?”

Arthur held his hands up, absolutely bewildered by Dutch’s deranged response.

“What? No! I’m right here, Dutch. I ain’t gonna leave you.”

“That’s what they all said,” the older man dismissed, evidently unconvinced. “That’s what they all tried to tell me. But when it really mattered, they all--”

Coming to an abrupt halt, Dutch’s words were cut off when he was suddenly struck by a coughing fit, causing him to drop his gun as his entire body heaved uncontrollably.

“Dutch!” Arthur exclaimed out of concern, rushing over to him.

The man continued to cough aggressively and hurriedly searched for his chair, desperately wanting to sit down as he leaned on Arthur for support.

“Easy, Dutch...” he comforted, helping the man into his seat. “Just... take it easy.”

Setting Dutch down, Arthur kept a firm grip on him until he was sure he wouldn’t keel over and stood patiently at his side, waiting until the man’s coughing fit calmed down.

“You okay there, old man?” He asked. Dutch coughed a few more times, eventually hacking up some blood before spitting it on the floor.

Arthur eyed the blood with a worried glance, trying to hide how frightened he truly was about the man’s health.

“Jesus...” he murmured. “Dutch, I’m sorry--”

“--Don’t.” The other man interrupted, wiping his mouth clean. “I don’t want no pity.”

Finally back to his normal state, Dutch let out a deep sigh and leaned back in his chair, clearly worn out from the havoc his own body just put him through. His skin was much paler now, and just by listening to the shaky rhythm of his breath, Arthur could tell he was getting weaker and weaker by the minute.

It wouldn’t be that long now before he was at Hosea’s side again. The only doctor who could’ve possibly given Dutch some sort of treatment was all the way in Blackwater, and even if they somehow managed to sneak him past all the law, Arthur doubted there was anything they could do to save him.

Dutch’s life was quite literally slipping out of his grasp these days, and much like everything else they had lost in the past few years, there was no way they could get it back.

Even with Arthur at his side.

“...R’you gonna be okay, Dutch?” Morgan asked solemnly, despite the obvious answer.

The outlaw shook his head, throwing a glare at him. “What d’you think?”

Arthur’s shoulders slouched in despondency. “I know, I know. Stupid question. I just...”

He cleared his throat, deciding to drop the subject. “...Never mind. Forget I said anything. Just... take care of yourself, alright? None of us wanna see you go too soon.”

Dutch nodded in response, admittedly curious about what Arthur was going to say.

“I’ll try, son.” He reassured, his voice much softer now. “You know me. I was born to be an outlaw. All the way to the end. And I intend to go out like one.”

~~~~~~~~~~

ONE HOUR LATER

BLACKWATER SALOON

Humming quietly to himself, Isaac relaxed on the edge of his bed as he gently cleaned the Springfield rifle in his grasp, preparing for the storm ahead. It had taken him nearly three months to get to where he was now, but after all the traveling and searching and questioning... he was finally close to reaching the Van der Linde gang. And to killing Shay Mackintosh.

It was strange, Isaac found, to think about everything he had been through these past fifteen years. At the start of this hurricane, he was nothing more than a boy merely trying to survive with the men who killed his mother, but now... he was the one delivering them to Hell’s gate.

He knew it probably meant nothing to the people around him -- and some might’ve even considered him crazy for pursuing revenge for so long, but ever since Eliza’s death -- Isaac had had this sense of hatred burning inside him that he just... couldn’t let go.

It was always there. No matter what he did. Even when he smiled, or laughed, or cried... he could feel it growing within him like a parasite.

There were some days when Isaac managed to go from dawn to dusk without a single thought of what happened to him, but late at night, when he’d delve into his dreams, the same nightmare would come back every single time to haunt him, and he’d see her face again. Hear her final words. Her final breath. And the next morning... he’d have a gun in his hand, ready to hunt down the men responsible for her suffering.

It was agonizing sometimes, to deal with such a unique rage. Isaac wanted nothing more than to settle down somewhere and live a normal life, but every time his memories reminded him of the horrific murder, he’d feel the same hatred growing inside him again and set out on his journey for vengeance, craving the blood of those who wronged him.

Perhaps that made him a monster in some people’s eyes. Isaac recalled Minister Swanson mentioning that he saw something darker in the boy’s heart, but to him, this was the only path that made sense.

There was no justice out in the Wild West, after all. You were either the victim, or the victor. If Isaac didn’t go after Mackintosh himself, Lord knew that no one else would. And on top of that, he figured his mother deserved to rest in peace after fifteen years of watching her killers wander freely.

It was what Eliza would’ve wanted, Isaac imagined, and he wasn’t going to forget it.

Sighing in discontent, Isaac set the rifle down and stared aimlessly at the window in front of him, admittedly feeling somewhat torn about these upcoming weeks.

What was he going to do when he found Mackintosh? What was he going to say? Would the man even recognize him after all these years? Would Isaac recognize Shay?

Well, whatever happened, one thing was clear. Mackintosh had to die. However or whenever that came to be, Isaac didn’t care. The only thing that concerned him was landing the killing blow.

Mackintosh was the one who pulled the trigger when Eliza died, so Isaac only deemed it fitting that he’d be the one bring it into a full circle.

He may’ve not had any family left, but by God was he going to avenge them.

Interrupting Isaac’s thoughts, a knock suddenly came from the door and averted the young man’s attention, causing him to stand up from the bed.

“Just a moment!” He called out, quickly slipping into his coat before striding to the entrance.

Swinging the door open, Isaac found himself face-to-face with a rugged-looking man. He had graying blond hair, a horseshoe mustache, cold-blue eyes, and a special kind of demeanor to him that shouted “degenerate.”

The visitor threw a casual wave at him, clearly not realizing what sort of impression he gave off.

“Hey there, cowpoke,” he greeted, his tone oozing with connivance. “...Mind if we talk for a minute?”

Isaac subtly kept a hand on his pistol, trying to conceal his mistrust. “That depends. Who are you? What d’you want?”

The man chuckled. “Suspicious one, ain’t you? Have no fear...” he held his hands up, “I ain’t here for that. In fact, I’m here to help you.”

That didn’t make Isaac feel any better. “That so? Well then, why don’t you answer my first question? Who are you?”

He placed an introductory hand on his chest. “Relax, princess. The name’s Micah. As for what I want, well... I couldn’t help but overhear your conversations with some of the folk downstairs, and it sounds to me like you’re lookin’ for the Van der Linde gang. Am I right?”

Isaac nodded slowly. “...Yeah. Why? You have information on them?”

Micah smirked. “More than you think. And I’m willin’ to share some of it...” He held up a finger. “For a price, of course.”

The young man wasn’t even surprised. “Of course. And how much are you willing to share?”

Micah shrugged. “That depends on how much you’re paying. Information like this don’t come cheap, boy. If you want somethin’ good, you’ll have to pay good money.”

Isaac was still hesitant to accept the deal. “Makes sense, but how do I know your information’s legitimate? Anyone can claim they know about the Van der Linde gang.”

The outlaw grinned and crossed his arms. “Aren’t you a smart cookie. Well... what if I told you I was one of them?”

The boy froze, uncertain of whether he should take the man seriously. “...You’re just pullin’ my leg now. Why the hell would a Van der Linde talk to me if they knew I was lookin’ for them? How does this benefit you?”

Micah sighed in a melodramatic tone. “It pains me to say it, but our current leader, Dutch van der Linde... let’s just say he ain’t doin’ too good.”

“Speak plainly,” Isaac said. “What d’you mean?”

“He’s ill.” Micah explained. “With what, we don’t know. But he’s withering away with each passing day, and it don’t look like there’s much chance of him getting better. Thing is, though...” he leaned on the doorframe, “he has yet to clarify who’s gonna take his place once he’s gone. And at the moment, he’s got two people in mind. One of ‘em being me.”

It didn’t take long for Isaac to catch on. “So, you want me to get rid of your competition?”

Micah shook his head. “Not yet. First, I wanna see what you’re capable of. I’ll give you the information you need, see if you actually manage to find us, and then I’ll know whether you’re just some yellow-bellied pretty boy, or if you really know how to handle that rifle. Then, we can move on to... other business.”

Isaac considered the offer, admittedly still somewhat hesitant to do business with this man.

As strange as it may’ve seemed, Micah actually sounded like he was being genuine. He spoke about the Van der Lindes as if he actually knew them, and his information had been pretty specific so far.

The only part that confused Isaac was why he would be so willing to endanger his fellow gang members. It was widely-known that outlaws weren’t the type to practice camaraderie -- Isaac had seen that for himself -- but even this was a new low.

Still, it wasn’t his concern what the Van der Lindes were up to. As long as Micah’s information got him closer to Mackintosh, nothing else truly mattered.

“...Alright,” Isaac finally agreed. “I’ll buy your information, Micah.”

The outlaw smiled slyly. “Glad to hear it. How much you paying?”

The young man quickly thought of an offer. “...Fifteen bucks.”

Micah looked impressed. “Good, but not good enough. How’s about we bump it up to twenty?”

“Seventeen.”

“Eighteen.”

Isaac settled with that. “Done.”

Micah shook his hand, a little too happy about where this was going.

“Pleasure doin’ business with you, mister. I promise... you won’t regret this.”

#Red Dead Redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #isaac morgan #dutch van der linde #Micah Bell #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 oc

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