#i only left school here 10 years ago and we did not have this kind of education

[queercutlureis]

I haven't seen this one floating around on Tumblr yet so-

There's a petition on the parliament petitions site pushing to remove LGBTQ+ education from the national curriculum. The one linked above is a counter petition, I would really encourage LGBTQ+ and ally UK citizen and/or resident to sign it, and for friends outside the UK to help spread it.

Thank you

[islamgazaaccount3]

Islam Al-Najjar I hesitated and delayed for a long time in writing these words and creating an account on GoFundMe, but the need has become very urgent because of what I see of the approaching death of myself and my family. I insisted on detailing and explaining more and more about my family in order to show you the whole picture and for you to know the extent of my suffering and need.

To begin our story, it is important for me to know my family, which is the core of my existence and the source of my strength during these difficult times: We are a family of six people who have been suffering for more than 10 months from a brutal war that does not spare people or stones.

We were living quietly in our wonderful and humble house with trees and nature around us. However, the war destroyed everything and we have nothing left. Unfortunately, we are still searching for a suitable shelter to continue living

A picture of our house before and after the war

Mother: The heart of our home My mother

embodies generosity and kindness as a devoted housewife, and always gives priority to the well-being of her family. My mother was a school teacher who did what she had to produce an educated generation. She is now unable to continue her work due to the war

Father: Pillar of strength My father, Marwan, faced the real pain of being the first responsible for protecting us, but there is no protection in light of this war. He lost more than 35 kilograms due to grief, oppression, and lack of food.

This is a picture of my family- my mother, father and sisters

The only brother: Aser My brother Aser, an engineer, graduated from the university a few days before the war and was not happy about his graduation because the war ended his dreams that he had and was in the process of building. He cannot work now because of the war.

My picture with my brother Aser

As for myself,

I am Islam As for me, the eldest of my sisters, I was on the cusp of a new beginning after I finished university, majoring in physical therapy. I obtained an honors degree, as a 27-year-old person looking forward to independence and work to continue my career in physical therapy. After I graduated from university, I worked specifically to help people with disabilities who needed a physical therapist, and I had the tools in the picture before you. The war came and destroyed all of these tools. It not only destroyed my professional dreams, it destroyed my home, which I was trying to beautify. The war consumed everything I had collected. I saved it from my work. I dreamed of traveling abroad and developing myself in the field of physical therapy, but unfortunately this has not happened yet.

This is my picture before and after the war

This is my grandfather. He was injured by the occupation many years ago and is still suffering from this injury. We are taking care of him because he cannot carry out his duties alone.

Now we hope to escape death, we hope the war will end, we hope to leave the Gaza Strip to continue our lives in all calm and peace, we hope to live a decent life away from bombing, occupation and destruction.

Today, my family and I are suffering from a lack of medicine, food, and health care. We are losing a lot of weight due to the lack of food. Everything here is expensive and we cannot buy it. Other than that, we are now homeless and without a place to shelter us. Insects are everywhere and rodents are too. This is very terrible.

The cost of rebuilding the house requires ,It costs a lotand the eviction fees are expensive, especially since I do not have any source of income. Once we are able to evacuate, your donations will cover the construction of our home,  our travel expenses and help us get immediate support Within the GoFoundMe link are details of expenses there will be meal expenses, wardrobe expenses, emergency expenses, etc., but no generous contribution will go to waste.

Those who have the authority to add my family names to the list for travel abroad are asking for astronomical amounts per person! They will not add names until we can prove that we have the funds ready

I ask for your help because this is not only my battle alone, but a battle in which we ask for your help in order to survive and preserve my families. Any donation, big or small, will make a huge impact on my life and the lives of my family. I am grateful to everyone who donated, and I will forever be grateful for giving me and my family hope and the opportunity to survive and build a better future.

Thanks for reading my story. To share my story with your friends and family. I hope there will be a ceasefire, and we can get the comfort and security we deserve to build our lives again. My hope is in all of you, without exception, who can help me with all of this

Thank you for reading what I wrote with my mind, and thank you again for your support and participation

This campaign is verified by people, and the link is here

here

here

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[ch4nb4ng]

Give it to me Straight

Pairing: Minho x afab!reader

Genre: Best friend's forbidden older brother

Word Count: 9.1 k (yeah we got carried away once again)

Warnings: Based off of inspo (here) and (here) that is also literally porn so dont click if u dont want to see you have been warned.

Also contains: smut, worshipping, angst, mentions of alcohol and intoxication, fingering (f receiving), kissing, penetration, lots and lots of praise, semi soft smut

Notes: HEY!! this is a fic i wrote hald of last year and just forgot about it and found and decided to finish it, hope oyu enjoy !!

Summary: You had enough of your best friend brother, Minho, giving you mixed signals as you grew up, but this. This was the night that you were finally going to do something about it

The night was pretty much over, or well, it should have been. But here you were, sitting on the floor of a random person’s apartment, giggling over and over as you looked at the other 8 people also sitting down in a circle next to you. There were your friends, Sana and Hyunjin, and there were the others. Actually, quite frankly, you did not know these people until tonight. There was one person that was there, that you did know, all too well.

Minho, Lee Minho. Friend, foe? You weren’t sure what to call him, but all you knew was that you were grinding on him in the club an hour ago, hands roaming across your body, lips, teeth on your neck. It was fun, one shot after another had your mind racing, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen after you went home, with him. What wasn’t helpful was the guilt that came with such excitement. 

“Fuck okay,” the stranger yelled, clapping his hands before swinging them, taking the empty vodka bottle off the kitchen bench, “let’s play a good ole fashion game of spin the bottle. Who’s in?”

“Me me me!”

The small crowd cheered in unison, but all you could do was stare at him. More guilt, more excitement, more adrenaline. The thought of kissing him did nothing but intensify the want, the need, the desire to. Wanting to hook up with your best friend’s older brother was the worst thing that you could want at this very moment.

The relationship with Minho was always strange and never straightforward. Even from the first time the two of you met. Your best friend of almost 10 years since you had been in elementary school, he was just different towards you. When you were younger, all he did was pick on you. The short scrawny boy, only a couple of years older than you. Would always chase you around the school yard, always until you fell over, or hurt yourself in some kind of way. You hated him, and had no idea why he always picked on you specifically. 

It changed in middle school, however, after puberty, well, more for him. His face changed, grew taller, much more attractive in your 14 year old eyes. You denied it though, remembering how cruel he was to you. Not much changed personality wise, he was still mean. Picking on you, your grades, his sister, her grades. He was ruthless, and it made you hate him even more. Minho’s looks were easy to overlook when everything that came out of his mouth was rubbish.

It wasn’t until he left for college, and came back for summer after finishing his first year, did things change. He had grown even taller, started working out, and had joined his college’s dance team. Holy fuck did things became different. His smile beamed as soon as he walked in and you in his house, sitting at the kitchen bench. 

***

“Y/n?”

You turned around, jaw dropping the moment you laid your eyes on him. He dropped everything, fast walking towards you as he picked you up, spinning you around with a large chuckle erupting from his chest. He put you down, eyes doing a quick check up and down your body before biting down on his bottom lip.

“Minho?”

“Wow, you look, really, really good.”

His stance was close, almost lingering over you, that was, until your best friend walked in, causing him to step away, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked to the fridge so nonchalantly. Your friend gave you a weird look, mouthing a ‘sorry,’ solely for his presence in the room. They never were that close.

“I forgot to tell you that he got back a few days ago and is going to be here for the summer.”

“That’s okay,” you scoffed, overexaggerated manner, “why would you need to tell me that.”

“Because I know how he can be,” she whispered, “rude, mean, very obnoxious and super, super arrogant.” 

The second half of her sentence was louder, looking straight at him to make sure she knew. You just laughed, nervously, unsure how to take in the interaction.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she sighed, “please don’t bully my only friend while I’m gone.”

The man rolled his eyes, laughing as he took a large gulp from his water bottle. He walked forward, waiting for her to leave before reassessing his position. His hands leaned against the bench, body pushing forward as he leaned towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips as he looked down at you.

“I have to go, meeting a friend at the gym, but it was really, really good to see you. We should hang out sometimes if you’re free, you know, without her?”

“We should?”

“Yes,” he smirked, biting down on his bottom lip, “definitely.”

***

“Okay,” the stranger announced to himself, “I’ll go first.”

The game felt like torture. Simply watching the bottle, casting your eyes on what seemed to be an infinite amount of times, spinning on an axis. It didn’t help you at all. If anything, it intensified how dizzy you truly were feeling. Concentration was getting harder, but you refused. Refused to give up anything. You did not want to prove Minho’s point. That you would always be this little girl that is easy to pick on.

“Oh my god,” Hyunjin nudged you, “Y/n, psst, the bottle is on you.”

His knock cloaked you out of your drunken daze, bringing some sobriety back as he pointed towards the bottle, eyes opening when you saw it land on you. You looked up, seeing the stranger was already there. He was attractive, short black hair, hazel eyes, freckles. He was really cute, and your brain melted the longer he gazed at you.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you whispered, hand in front of your mouth as you giggled at his proximity. You didn’t have to look. The feeling of a pair of eyes burning into the side of your head was more than enough to know who had their eyes on you, and who didn’t. Chan did not, already ditching the game and sloppily making out with the person next to him. Hyunjin followed in pursuit, and Jisung and Sana, well, that was another story, a long time coming. The glance was brief, not long enough to focus on anybody, but well enough to know your surroundings. Enough to see the girl, who looked very familiar, but not enough to be identified by name, whisk her fingers across his inner thigh. He stayed still, not paying any mind to her as he fixated on you. The man joined in the staring contest, noticing Minho’s obviously unimpressed glare. 

He swung his head back in your direction, pushing his body weight on you in the slightest. You followed, back now adjacent to the floor as he leaned over, lips hovering over your own. You brought your index finger to his lips, curious to know more about the man before he kissed you.

“Wait.”

“Is something wrong?” His facial expression changed, unsure as to why or what made you hesitate.

“Oh, no,” you giggled, full of giddyness and intoxication, “your name. I just wanted to know your name before we, well, you know.”

The man smirked, cupping your face in adoration as he leaned closer, lips wisping across your ear as he spoke.

“Well aren’t you just the cutest?”

He pulled away, eyes back in level with your own as he spoke once more, “Felix. I’m Felix.”

That was all you needed, wrapping your arms around Felix’s neck as you pulled him in, eyes closing and mouth opening and lips attacking yours. The kiss in reality, from an outside perspective, would have looked very messy. Very sloppy as lips missed each other, teeth crashed together, and also the fact that you could feel Felix’s hips moving against your own in the slightest, already half hard member grinding against your thigh. It did feel good, you couldn’t fib to yourself. The gentle friction was delicious. It was enough to make you moan discreetly, the sound lost in Felix’s mouth as the two of you continued. 

You were enjoying yourself, but you also remembered not to lose yourself in the moment. Felix was fun, but he was just part of the plan. A simple pawn in a game of chess, of course being the queen and Minho the king. Sometimes you have to make some unnecessary moves to win in the long term. Even with your eyes closed, you could still feel his own burning into the back of your head. If sober, you most likely would have been feeling some kind of guilt. It wasn’t like you to rub things in other people’s faces. But you felt like it was only fitting. Yes, you wanted Minho, but after everything, your timeline with him, having a crush on him for the longest time regardless that he made your life hard, it only felt right to drag this out as much as possible. 

Your eyes fluttered open, empty lidded shooting daggers at him. Appraisal came to your mind when his daggers were returned, gaze still very much fixated on you, with Felix, making out with another man right in front of him. His blood was searing, reaching boiling point at a very rapid rate. He knew you were a lot of things. Sarcastic, blunt, ‘indifferent’ towards him as you got older, or so he thought. But he didn’t take you to be a tease. He was reaching the point of no return, and if you didn’t stop this act, this play scene just for him, he was going to do something he regretted.

“Hmm fuck,” Felix grumbled, pulling away from you, “has anyone ever told you that you’re a really good kisser?”

Your eyes flickered back to the man on top of you, quickly averting your gaze to avoid any deflections from Minho, Chan, or any of the others there that you knew.

“Hey man, what are you doing?”

You sat up immediately, looking up to see Minho’s friend, Jisung, standing over you. His tone was playful, but the adrenaline was kicking in. The several times you met Minho’s friends, they were decent enough to be nice to your face. Anytime you went over, you could hear them. Talking about how you look, always asking Minho about you. Just them teasing him about you. Maybe it was the reason as to why he had so much disdain for you. They were also protective, very protective of him, and probably the reason why they were standing over you right now.

“Oh hey man, you’re not her boyfriend are you?”

“Who, me?” Jisung laughed, hard, almost hysterically, bringing a hand to his chest to calm himself down, “no no, not me, but the guy over there might be a little mad that you’re making out with his girl.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing onto Felix’s arm, other hand tucking under his chin as you pressed another haste kiss to his lips. You gave Minho one more look, noticing his fists turned inwards, hard shaped as he watched your interactions with the new guy accelerating.

“Good,” He smirked, standing up, and reaching a hand out to you as an invitation, “Did you want to hang out in my room? It’s just down the hall.”

“Sure,” you replied bluntly as you took his invitation. You allowed Felix to guide you, taking one last look at Jisung. Before making your way, you were interrupted one more time. It made you scoff when Minho grabbed your wrist, finally able to do something himself, not his friends doing it for him.

“Y/n?”

“What do you want?”

“Where are you going?”

“What do you think?”

With a heavy grip, attempting to shake yourself out of his grip. There was no way you were giving up on this act yet.

“You just met the guy tonight?”

“Okay and? It’s not like that ever stopped you before. At least I’m not at home, forcing everyone else to hear you late at night.”

He looked down, knowing he had been beaten to the punch. You resisted once more, able to come out of his grip as you looked up and down at him once more, “Stop acting like you give a shit what I do.”

You watched him open his mouth, but missed out on whatever he was going to say. You laughed to yourself, the swift motion of the man from the other side, Felix, the one who was giving you the attention you needed right now. Without a word, he closed the door behind you, spare hand placed on your lower back as he lead you to what seemed to be his bed.You sat down first, Felix making quick work as he stood over you once more, index finger stuck on your shoulder as he effortlessly as he ‘pushed’ you over, torso hovering on top of yours, just like he did previously. You had to give it to him. This Felix guy was smooth. The way he looked down at you, raking your body with every single eye nerve, the gentle twitch when he noticed extra skin showing on your body for a slight moment. He definitely was contributing to your uprising arousal, but the thing that really turned you on was the mere possibility of Minho hearing this. Having his ear up to the door, curious to see what you would really do.

“Hey,” Felix whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips, taking you out of your thoughts completely, “everything okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, where were we?”

You brought a hand to his arm, rubbing up and down in a soothing motion as his own came back to your chin, pinching it forward, lips doting to reconnect with his. His lips were smooth, not a crack or dry spot in sight or in feeling. The kiss was a lot more connected, a lot more teamwork and passion. His tongue lazily slipped inside of your mouth, picking up with much brute and force as his hips charged, recreating the prior friction against your core. Felix had one hand on the side of your jaw, the one on your chin snaking around and cascading down, in between your cleavage, past your navel, brimming on the edge of your undergarment line. You gasped, immediately, not expecting things to move so quickly. A stifled whimper escaped your lips, enjoying the friction his fingers created around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Oh,” you groaned, slightly high pitched and confused at first, but once his fingers dived past your dress, underneath your core, right in the center of your sweet spot, you groaned again, a deeper, more gratifying noise bellowing in response.

“Does that feel good?”

“Mhm,” you whispered, looking up at him, “feels so good already.”

Your hand felt dizzy again, a lightheaded texture adding. You weren’t sure if it was his fingers or the alcohol speaking, but it most likely was the loud bang that came from the east part of the room. You jumped immediately, bumping heads with Felix as you quickly covered yourself, given no time to fix your hair as you were being dragged out, Minho’s jaw clenched as he walked you out.

“Sorry, uh Felix, it was nice to meet you,” you yelled down the hallway, pushed all the way to the front door.

“Minho what the fuck?”

“Shut up and get in the car,” he growled, not putting up with any nonsense that you were about to spew at him, “Jisung’s taking us all home, your friends included.”

“Ugh, whatever,” you scoffed, the digging of his fingers becoming slightly painful. You opened the door, seeing Hyunjin’s smirk as soon as he saw you, hand in hand with Minho. He never had to say anything, he always knew how you felt about him, even when it wasn’t clear to you. 

The midnight breeze was very apparent, hitting you like a truck. The goosebumps on your skin raised in an instant, shiver running down your spine as you walked. Minho let go of your wrist, removing his jump over his head, and plopping it on top of yours. You wanted to turn, scream at him for ruining your hair, not even thinking about your makeup. But honestly, you were just tired. It was late. 

***

You pushed the button down in the backseat, letting the cool breeze smack you across the face as Jisung drove down the highway. It felt nice, distracting you from the imminent pressing of your best friend’s brother inconveniently pressing up against you, too big for the middle seat. Of course he had to sit next to you. Invade your personal space, your privacy. He was still overprotective of you, even when you were by yourselves. It was annoying, and you really didn’t know why he was always like this with you after the needless torture that was gorwing up with him around. 

You decided to put the window up, a sudden drowsiness coming over you as you leaned your head against the window. Your eyes were fluttering, half lidded when you felt someone whispering, right up to your ear. His lips were cold, roughly but incidentally lingering on your lobe.

“Y/n,” Minho hushed, patting your arm lightly, “y/n, baby.”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows, “what is it?”

“We’re here, wake up.”

“Oh,” you sighed, releasing your weight on the window. Your eyes opened, turning from the window, which was a big mistake. You caught yourself, inches away from your face. Apart from the club, it was the closest you had been ever to him. You saw him, looking down at your lips, causing you to gulp loudly. You wanted to lean in, push away all the doubt you had in your mind, and follow your heart. To have him on your lips, around your body, caressing every crevice, every curve. It was something you had fantasized about in your head several times, whether you wanted to or not. Your hand flew to his chest, truly speechless and unsure what to say.

“Minho. I-”

He licked his lips, fingers latching onto your jaw, thumb against the subtlety of your lips. He flipped, lip bouncing back as he leaned even closer. His breath had never felt so imminent, not even the first time the two of you had shared a kiss.

***

“Did you need help?”

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest, about to lose balance on the stool. The tea bags were high in the cupboard, and you weren’t the tallest person going around. Minho put his arms out, helping you adjust yourself before stepping down and back onto the ground.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, “you know me, never able to reach anything.”

“It’s okay, they’re stored pretty high up.”

Without giving you time to move, he reached over, torso pressed against your chest, half of his body weight leaning on you as he reached up to grab one for you. Your face rose in heat as he placed it on the bench behind you, keeping firm in his position.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, still not moving, “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, uhm no, it’s okay” you mumbled back, pushing the hair behind your ear. He beat you to the other side, lifting his fingers, watching how delicately the fibers of your hair curved along your ear lobe. 

Faces inching closer, it felt like do or die, but you would rather get hit by a truck than make the first move. Minho was the type to flirt, hard. He knew he could get anyone he wanted. College really changed him. For the better though, even if it meant he became a mass fuckboy.

“You have a really, uhm, beautiful face.”

He had become nervous all of a sudden, and you couldn’t help but smile. Smile at both his nerves and slight awkwardness, as well as his proximity. 

“Uhm thanks,” you mumbled again, scared that if you attempted to speak at a normal volume, it would squeak, “you have a nice face as well.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled, piercing eyes boring into yours.

“Make me.”

He hesitated for a brief moment, before bringing both hands to your face, pressing his lips to yours. It was soft at first, a series of gentle pecks you wrapped your hand palms around his neck, keeping him close. His body felt good, right when close to you.

It didn’t take long for things to heat up however, Minho’s tongue begging for access as you gave it to him willfully, a gentle hum as he simultaneously rolled his hips into yours once. A soft groan escaped your lips, causing him to pull away. The smirk on his face was priceless; you knew he was satisfied with himself. His hands snaked down to your waist, lifting you up and placing you on the kitchen bench. Minho nudged your leg with his left knee, spreading them wide, allowing himself to fit into the curve. He kept his digits across your fingertips, gently tapping as he leaned back in, skipping the innocent kisses and heading straight to a heavy, heavy makeout. The noises erupting were increasing in quantity, and it wasn’t until you heard footsteps running down the steps were you snapped back into reality. Hands on his chest, you pushed him off quickly, pushing your hair back in front of your face.

“Y/n what’s taking you so long?”

“Oh uhm, I was just trying to reach the teabags.”

“Yeah,” Minho joined in, helping you cover your ass, “I just grabbed it for her, seeing as she was already in my way to get to the glasses, annoying ass.”

“Okay whatever weirdo,” she replied to him, “stop annoying Y/n.”

***

The memory of the flashback playing in spurts, ones that your intoxicated mind was probably failing to accurately recall the event. It was, however, enough for you to pull away. Saying nothing, you turned away, opening the car door, semi-stumbling onto the ground as you jumped out the car, heading towards his front door. Luckily your best friend was out of town, away on a camping weekend with her boyfriend and her parents, because if she heard you walking in with Minho, it was game over.

“Y/n,” he whispered, tone harsh like he wanted to yell, “y/n.”

It was nothing but a faint noise in the distance. You stood there, in front of the door, impatiently waiting for it to be unlocked. It wasn’t until you could feel him. He grabbed your wrist, almost having to yank you back to stop you.

“What,” you whispered back, similar in tone, “what do you want?”

He waited. It looked like he was trying to put a thought together, knowing that he needed to say something very important. It could make or break: everything. He took a step closer, that familiar feeling of adrenaline, no, some other feeling that you couldn’t describe. Made your heart race, body sweat. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was. All you knew was that it only happened when he was around you.

“I’m, I’m sorry.”

You looked up at him, adoration at how gentle his skin glowed in the moonlight. Fuck, this was annoying. Why did he have to be so hot? It would have been the easy way out to forgive him and let him do what you craved, yearned for. But it was simply too much to do so. This man had been toying with your heart for a long time. Whether he had a crush on you for the lingering amount of time that you had, you deserved better than someone who played with you for their own amusement.

“What are you sorry for?”

Your tone was calm, yet still firmly questioning him. It was easier to just deny the night events than argue about it.

***

The music was loud, deafening as Minho, dragging you by the delicacy of your poor wrist, locked in a spot right next to the speaker right beside the DJ of the club, aka pole position. At first the dancing was innocent, a bright smile of pure joy (and intoxication) plastered across your face, holding each other’s hands as you pushed and pulled them back and forth. It wasn’t until the motions of arms were not moving in the opposite directions, somehow were both pulling in his direction, right up against his waist. The music was much too loud to allow your rational cognitions to process the sequence of events. Facing him, not facing him. Appropriate distance, very much appreciate distance. It was hard to explain how you ended up with your back pressed against Minho’s chest, somehow in the monstrosity of alcoholic beverages and shots actually moving your hips in a synchronized way with his. Maybe it was the firm grip, thumb digging into the soft flesh that was hardly hidden under that dress, making sure that this was the only place you needed to be, that he wanted you to be. 

Your hands easily followed too, palms on top of this tendon illuminating the side of his hands as his lips rested on the outside of the cartilage that made up your ear. The second time you could feel the magic that was his lips. The crowd that was Minho’s friends and the new, yet very much fun strangers that would end up making the later house party were long gone at this very moment. The only thing you could remember was coming with Minho, and the last thing you wanted to do was leave with him.

“Mmmm,” was all that could be heard, well no, felt from the man behind you. The vibrations of his lips were the only indicator that he was trying to say something. His teeth soon followed. Gentle, almost kitten-like nibbles nipped at the heated flesh of the neck and shoulder, head falling limp against his own shoulder as he continued to chuckle inbetween. There seemed to be an innocence to his antics, almost like he didn’t want to hurt you. Yet knowing the downright filthy desires, things he wanted to do, for a numerous amount of time was very much ironic.

Turning around, you pulled away, eyes boring into yours and his face came closer and closer. Eyes fluttering shut like a butterfly's wings for a brief moment, desire had never been stronger.

“There he is, Jisung!”

And just like that, it was over. Reality came back and your Minho clouded fog dissipated in a matter of moments, and it must have for him. You had never seen someone take their hands of someone with such speed. The timely reaction of Minho brought you back to a realistic part of your life. The one where this was nothing but a dream, and Minho was once again out of reach, and the many barriers that were his friends, your friend being in the way, made you nothing but a pawn in his chess game.

***

You stood there in silence, the only sound that could be heard was the ringing in your ears from the loud music prior. The want for him to explain himself was one of such desperation. A sign, anything at this point. Yes, you were very much exhausted from the games but if it was all worth it for him to finally do something about it in the end, the fatigue would be easily wiped away.

“I don’t mean to be this way. So, uhm, aggressive? Or the opposite, I don’t know I-”

“Minho in the nicest way possible, I’m tired and we’ve both had a big night. We can talk about it in the morning.”

Using the spare key that your friend had so graciously given you as a symbol of how much time you truly spent at her house, his house, over the years, the door was unlocked, you ripping your shoes off and letting them laz sprawl against the living room carpet as your body heavily dragged up the stairs. Your feet automatically knew the way to her room, 4 paces straight and two to the left. To get to his it was 7 paces straight 2 to the right. The 4th step on the second floor felt unnatural at this moment, body wanting nothing more than to be pressed up against him in a deep slumber, you craved it; but you knew better at the same time.

“Y/n.”

Silence. You could feel him coming closer, but it’s honestly just too painful at this point to even wait for anything more.

“Y/n.”

Silence, again. It wasn’t until you could feel the unintentionally harsh pull at your wrist, once again pulling back and up against him.

“Y/n wait.”

“For fucks sake Minho,” you huffed, yanking your arm away from his grip, “leave me alone.”

“No, I want to talk about it now.”

Nothing but an eye roll followed, ignoring him and storming into her room. He followed in pursuit, the first time any kind of behavior like this from Minho had happened before. Sitting on the edge of the side of her bed, you turned away as you took off your jewelry, precious earring and delicate chain necklace lying on this decorative plate placed on the bedside table.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Can we please stop pretending like there isn’t something going on between us?”

He was not serious. His bold statement made you stop, turn around and face him.

“You have to be joking right now.”

“Why would I be joking?”

“Minho” you yelled, standing back up and right in front of him, “this is nothing but a fucking game to you! We don't have a problem, YOU do.”

“I don’t play games with you,” Minho scoffed, eyes wide in his own disbelief, “you play games with me.” His voice was also beginning to rise in volume.

“That’s such a fucking lie! You’ve been playing games with me for years. Three quarters of my life! I know that you hated me or couldn’t stand me for most of that but then all of a sudden you come back from college and you want to be around me and all over me?”

“That’s not true-”

“Yes it is! You couldn’t stand me!! Then the kiss in the kitchen? Tonight, you were all over me and I could tell, drunk or sober, that you were enjoying yourself. Until your friends come along and I’m nothing but a secret little game-”

“No Y/n, shut up, that's not true!”

“Explain yourself then!” 

Both of your chests were heaving simultaneously, the heated exchange taking the breath out of the two of you. There was no part of you that was wrong, and you knew better than to lack confidence, especially to someone who has kicked you around for what felt like your whole life.

“I never hated you,” he whispered, once again shifting the tense atmosphere in the room. He took a step closer, that goddamn palm resting on your cheek, fingertips pushing the baby hairs sticking to your forehead as you took him in, listening deeply to his words, “I could never hate somebody like you, Y/n.”

His tonality had become the softest you had ever heard someone speak. It was empowering to keep him on his toes, gaze fixated on him, but lips refusing to move. You could see it. The dip in his own gaze below your eye line, past the tip of your nose, and right to where you wanted his lips to be: your lips. The right thing, like your previous thoughts, was to pull away, save yourself the heartbreak.

“Let me take the time to show you how false that statement really is.” 

But god, was it it easier to just give him. His approach was gentle, but the texture of his lips felt like the key to everything. The light weight of his lips were equivalent to a tuft of feathers falling from a clear sky. Your lips tussled in return, wanting to kiss the man you were in love with so much passion, yet so much reservation. His lips, unlike the first time, had so much admiration for you, somehow the feeling was communicated in the way his lips touched yours, the way his tongue slipped into your mouth, colliding with your own. The world stopped spinning, and the only thing that mattered was Minho’s lingering touch.

His hands scrambled to find an appropriate spot. His palms spread across your waist, the pressure of his weight pushing you to the edge of the bed, a small shriek escaping your lips as the sudden knock of balance leaves you lying against the material of the bed. His hands left your sides, one coming to your face as he broke away, taking a moment to admire you underneath him in all your beauty. He lifted his fingers to your forehead, brushing the baby hairs on your skin before smiling and leaning back in for another kiss. Hands around his neck, you brought him closer, gasping into his mouth when you felt the roughness of his knee conveniently sitting between your inner thigh, spreading to make room for his own. 

You decided to take the liberty of breaking the kiss back this time, Minho rising on his own as he pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. Even the way he moved his limbs was majestic. Eyes widening for a brief moment as the shock of Minho’s body that you had seen many times, especially post-college transformation, it still amazed you how attractive this man was. The proximity all these years amounting to this moment. All the teasing, ignoring, negative behavior came as the collateral of coming to this moment; and you would tolerate all of it again if this what it would lead to. Which is why you refused to rush things, savor the moment as much as you could.

“Minho, wait.”

“Yes?”

“Can we just,” you were hesitant to ask for what felt like a silly request, “I don’t want to rush anything. Can we just make out a little longer?”

His chuckle was one of the most adored. He nodded as he got up from the bed, sitting back down at the edge of the right side. As he turned to put his leg atop of the bed, he leant on his left elbow, patting the empty spot next to him, a very adorable invitation that you simply could not resist. You shooed over, facing Minho as he pinched your chin, bringing your lips to his again. The kisses, for the moment, stayed soft, sweet. He was allowing you to take your time because he was ready. Minho wanted you so bad, but he knew better than to rush. If anything, the anticipation made him fall for you more.

However, the heat was unconsciously beginning to turn up once bodies became involved. The subtle grind of his hips against yours was sending you into a frenzy, and the friction was something you needed to chase. At first you were holding back, only wanting the generosity of his tongue and lips, but now the selfish part of you was taking over, and there was nothing more that you wanted than to have sweet passionate sex with the man in front of you. Gently pushing his chest away, he looked up, confused as you turned away from him, standing up and undoing the zip on the back of your dress.

“Oh,” was all he could say, a smirk plastered on his face as he dragged your body back toward him, now covered in undergarments, back to the bed. His hands became a lot more adventurous, taking the signal of you undressing yourself as an acceleration of what you wanted. Still facing each other, Minho placed a gentle peck to your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you much closer to him, and exactly where you wanted to be. 

Once the lack of space was established, Minho brought the tip of his digits just above your panty line. A small gasp elicited from your lips once his fingers dipped down to your clothing covering your core. Just above the center of the folds. Minho’s lips quiver at your body relaxing underneath his touch. The more vulnerable you became, the more in love he fell with you. Each second. Your eyes fluttering almost shut, hips gently bucking underneath the pressure of his fingers had his mind screaming with adoration. His gaze was making you shy, causing you to bury your head in his naked chest. You giggled with innocence at how good his fingers felt. The other times you reminisced, romanticized what this would be like was tenfold of what you actually expected. 

“You’re so beautiful” he whispered, a soft kiss to the tip of your forehead. Your head came out of his chest, a somewhat fucked out expression already coatign your face as his fingers traveled back to the top of your panties, fingers grasping the hem before asking, “Can I take this off?”

You nodded, this time without hesitance as you turned to your front, assisting Minho in letting the thin fabric subtracted from your body. Your bra soon followed, leaving you completely exposed. Minho still had his pants on which you felt to be a little unfair, but the tent that was beginning to form in his pants was a reason enough for him to keep them on longer. 

Turning back to your side, you reached him in another sensual kiss, bodies now as close as they had even been. Minho’s fingers had much more to travel, left palm already reaching for a gentle squeeze of your best breast. His touch was noticeable enough to break away, a small groan at the digits brushing your nipple. Another chuckle escaped his lips as he watched your nipples get harder under his touch.

“Wow,” Minho gasped, gently pinching the soft flesh his eyes couldn’t help but be glued to, “you look amazing.”

“Do I?”

“More than I could have ever  imagined.”

Your silence made him giggle, fingers snaking back down to where the two of you wanted them to be. It was almost embarrassing how easily his index and middle finger slipped between your folds, already coated in your arousal as his digits swirled around your pussy hole. It was evident that he wanted his fingers coated, so when he brought them up to his lips, tongue evidently out as he licked them clean, then slid them back down to your waist once more, spreading your folds apart and pushing on your clit like a button. Your hands grabbed onto his shoulders for support, the sudden amount of sensation in comparison to before sending you into a frenzy. Your jaw had already become slick, the gentle whines and moans spilling out sound after sound. 

“Fuck,” He cursed under his breath, lips right in front of your tits, teeth grazing over the geneoristy of the skin, “you have the features of an angel.”

His shower of compliments caused a louder moan to slip from your lips. It really wasn’t something that you expected. The fantasy you had of Minho being a rough, man handling lover contrasted to the man that presented in front of you right now. But it was much better than anything you ever thought he was to be.

His fingers moved in delicate circular motions, Minho himself groaning at how pretty you looked under his fingers. He kept his curiosity peaked, fingers traveling back down to your hole before plunging them inside, tips instantly curling to bring his lips right up against his own.

“Minho oh my god,” you gasped, short breaths hinting at a rapid pace from your throat as he started to move them back and forth, “your fingers are so good.”

“Your welcome,” he smiled, wrapping his free arm around your chest to adjust for the way your torso squirmed against him. Your own hands soothing his arm that did all the work as he picked up his pace, a slight bump forming into your pussy. Minho’s pace became quickly unforgiven, a spill of curse words that made you feel extremely dirty coming from your mouth. The irony of feeling dirty from cussing and not from the two fingers being shoved into your whole was comedic. 

“Lift it,” Minho grunted, attempting to fix his position so he could get a better angle to finger you from, “lift your leg and put it on my hip.”

You did as he said, a gut wrenching moan that was bubbling in your throat bursting at the seams as your maneuver allowed his finger to enter deeper, stronger, harder. The combination of skin slapping and wetness could be heard by anyone in the house if there was anyone in there, the noise echoing the room as you watch his eyebrows furrow, bitten bottom lip in concentration. All this time, Minho wanted nothing more than to see you be happy, make you feel good. It was in half disbelief that he was present in this moment that he had dreamed of several times. And his perception of you, with his fingers inside of you, moaning his name over and over exceeded expectations to say the least. The temperature that began to rise on your cheeks was spreading to your limbs, muscles slowly coiling as the pleasure continued to build at your core. Minho’s jaw clenched, increasing his effort and strength in, with much effort, fucking you with his fingers. His pace became even quicker, desperate and motivated to make you shake under his fingers.

“Minho please,” you cried, suffocating his lips with yours to muffle the continuous noise that baffled the room, “so good.”

Your sentences, if you could even call them that, were not coherent in the slightest. Yet it did not matter. All Minho could focus on was how beautiful you looked with your lips pouted, the gentle teeth marks under your bottom lip from biting down on your precious skin too hard. The condensation beginning to cover the skin of your forehead as your eyebrows scrunched together, your facial expression could have been interpreted as anger. However, Minho failed to see it that way. He saw you as nothing but an angelic woman that he had the gratitude of being allowed to share a moment of vulnerability with. There was no judgment in his eyes as he felt your tight pussy clench around his knuckles, knowing how close to what you were, and what he wanted to achieve for your sake.

“It’s okay baby,” he whispered, wiping the moisture glistening on the nose, half of your face shimmering in the moonlight as he withdrew his fingers, rubbing the sensual juices all over your swollen clit as your legs began to shake in response to the overwhelming stimulation you were experiencing.

“Can you feel it?”

“Mhhm,” you whined, suppressing your lips together as you focused on him, analyzing to him the intricate details of your body. His lips moved with vigor, leaving a string of semi wet kisses along your shoulder, kissing every little skin contusion, beauty mark, scab, wrinkle, dimple. You name it, Minho was eager to use his lips to analyze you, analyze the way your skin felt against him. The idea increased your arousal to a level you thought would not be possible.

“I’m gonna cum Minho I-”

“It’s okay baby,” Minho hushed you, wanting to relive any pressures or expectations you may think you need to fulfill “even the way you speak such vulgar things is angelic to me.”

“I’m cumming,” was all you could cry out. You know that once this was over, you would be appreciative of how gentle and warm his presence was to you during this unguarded moment, but right now all you could focus on was the tight coil in the pit of your stomach that would give out at any second. Like your foreshadowed, your body was coming undone under him, Minho unable to give up the succulent ability that was your pussy as he reinserted his two fingers back into your hole, thumb almost ghosting over your clit in an attempt to not overwhelm your body in sensation.

Minho thought you couldn’t get any more fascinating. Even the way you orgasmed was angelic. Legs spread wide open as you let him have his way. The trust you developed in him in this intricate moment was such an attraction but mainly an appreciation. He knew that he had not been the most trustworthy person to you. His mixed signals and just overall treatment of you was simply a mind of confusion.

On the contrary, every negative moment that you shared with him melted away. The part of him having his fingers inside of you, bringing you to climax was not what you were focused on. You were focused on the attention. Solely the attention, his words held so much more weight than his actions to you in this moment, and all he did was mumble sweet nothings, adoring every single part of you that you wanted Minho to love.

“Fuck baby,” Minho groaned, finally withdrawing his fingers entirely from your core as he palmed his own arousal. But he merely wasted any time on that as he stood up and discarded his pants in an instant. A half lidded gasp came from your throat as you watched his length spring free from the suffocation of his previous undergarments. Minho laid back on the bed, back against the bed as you extended a hand in which you willingly took, enjoying the sudden rapture that Minho had tangled the two of you in. His fingertips came to your face once more, brushing those delicate strands away as he took his precious time. Willingly ignoring the fact that your very slicked up pussy was creating friction against his tip, he was more focused on your face. The crinkles underneath your eyes that came up when you smiled. The way your lips turned upwards in the slightest. The longer he looked up at you, on his lips, body pressed up against his, the more he fell in love. Both of your hands now came to his face. It felt like hours upon hours that the two of you had been looking at each other. Calmness fell over the room as you leant down to kiss him again. The taste of him was simply nor enough. You needed him. On you, next to you; it did not matter. His presence was something that you truly craved. Sexually, platonically, romantically, it did not matter. Any closeness with Minho was more than adequate. Deciding to lift your hips slightly, your hands followed, gripping him as you slowly slid onto him, a deep groan leaving his lips, a soft moan leaving yours as he stretched you out. Before you could even initiate any moment, Minho grabbed your arm lifting your palm to his face as he sent kisses up your arm, almost as if he was in complete disbelief of what was happening in this moment.

“I just want to worship you my god,” he whispered, making you giggle in the slightest.

His lips traveled just under your shoulder, arms wrapping around his torso to bring you into another embrace. It was that his strength was brute enough to lift you up, and put your back down. Hisbody almost moved with vigor, wanting to make sure the experience was an equal one. A sharp whine came from you as he established a gentle pace, your whole body being used in an attempt to pleasure the both of you. Someone may have seen this as selfish, Minho controlling the pace, but really, he just couldn’t get enough of how much he wanted you. The amount of times he had thought about this moment over the years almost derailed him. But nothing could be more perfect than the moment right now. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck, then on his chest, across his face, you were too stimulated to be organized with your hand placements. It’s just what he did to you. Minho could tell that you were unsure, so instead he just put his head in your chest, almost wanting you to wrap your fingers though the bse of his scalp, the gentle texture of your fingers against his scalp could have honestly made his toes curl. Just like you, Minho craved your touch in any way shape or form, so the combined combainton of your closeness, tussling digits, and tight pussy was sending him into a headspin.

“Minho,” you hesitated, unsure, if he could hear you in the muffle of your chest, “Minho.”

You were desperate for him to hear you, yanking on his locks to pull him away from the darkness and back into your gaze. His eyes were glazed over for a moment, an innocent peaking on them as he looked up at you with intent.

“Yes my princess, my Y/n?”

“Yours?”

The skin slapping, volume of each time your ass landed on his hips was increasing, but no matter the crescendo, it was never loud enough to get in the way of the intimate looks the two of you had a silent agreement to fixate on.

“Mine,” he moaned, hands snaking back down to your hips, breaking this distance and once again guiding the speed of how fast he filled you up, “all mine.”

“You’re so gorgeous,” you mumbled, barely able to talk at this point, “I want you so bad you have no idea.”

“You have me,” he almost chanted, “you have me. I have you. Always.”

Your head rolled back, the intimacy of his words, rather than his cock, bringing you closer to the brink of pleasure. The attractiveness of finally putting his walls down, striking his fear of vulnerability was unmatchable. Even if things didn’t work out with Minho in the future, you knew that deep down, no one else could ever make you feel this way. Minho was a witch, and the spell he was casting on you was something that would be everlasting.

“I love you,” you cried, throwing your head back in somewhat embarrassment, “I love you Minho.”

“I love you too baby fuck,” he grunted, increasing the strength in which he filled your pussy. He couldn’t handle this anymore. Flipping you over, his body hovered, cock pressing your back into the mattress. On his knees, Minho trusted deeper and deeper, your eyes almost cloudy from how good he truly felt inside of you. Another sensuous kiss ensured, the combination of his deep moans and your vibrating whines slipped into each other 's, easily one of the most intimate things that could ever be done. 

“Mhhm,: You whined, breaking away and placing a hand on his face, “I fucking love you.”

“I fucking love you, my Y/n.”

“Oh god,” you breathe heavily, free hand gripping on his shoulder, “I love when you call me that?”

“What? My Y/n?”

“Yes,” you hissed, piercing into his eyes, this time with vigor, “it makes me yearn for you.”

“You have me baby,” he smirked, eyebrows soon furrowing as he realized his hips were getting sloppy in motion, “I’m all yours.”

You could not stop kissing him. He was just too hard to resist. His words, actions, everything, you were so in love that your chest began to hurt. That pit was developing again, and all he had to do was say the words and you were there. Minho took your hand away from his face, pinning them on either side of you as he slid his fingers in between, allowing your hand to intertwine with yours. The affection was the icing on your cake, because as you felt the swirls of his finger prints trickle onto your palm, your hips were spasming.

“Minho I’m-”

“I know baby, it’s okay, he cooed, “I can feel your pussy clenching hard.”

A little giggle escaped your lips as your body raked itself of an orgasm. Back arching, the loudest noise you could have possibly made erupted from your mouth, the unintentionally new angle allowing Minho to plunge even deeper, keeping it slow as he allowed you to come down from the high. He pulled out right after, pumping himself a few times before finishing just above your core. He fell to your side, immediately lifting your body, wanting to feel that constant warmth as he placed your head against his chest, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the mount of hair in front of his face. His heartbeat was warm, fast, but stil, a sense of comfort felt over your body as you listened to the organ pump in his chest. The moment was silent, yet comfortable, the both of you simultaneously soaking in that delicacy of affection that you both oh so craved, longed for.

Even after all of that, you still had the energy to do so. Minho read your mind, giving you a quick peck before quickly pacing out of the room. The ache in your heart had already reappeared at his absence. The craving would never stop. Luckily he was quick, grabbing a paper towel, cleaning you up, running back to the bin, the running back and jumping onto the bed, your body flying in the air as he caught you, snuggling up to your side with his head pressed into your chest. Your hand came to his hair, letting those fingertips frolic across his scalp. A silence fell over the room as the two of you simultaneously stared at the ceiling, the dim shine of the moonlight shining through the window, lingering across Minho’s side profile.

“I was being serious, you know.”

“About what?”

“Hating you.”

Minho turned onto his chest, wanting to make sure that you were staring at him when he said this.

“I could never hate you Y/N, my Y/N.”

He crawled up to your side, tall enough to press one more kiss, lips lingering across yours as your eyes fluttered shut from his touch. Lifting the cover, Minho invites you under after climbing in first, turning to the side to hover over your now very tired frame. Lips nudged behind your warm Minho kept mumbling, a combination of kissing you and whispering, the tiny vibrations from his voice tickling the bare skin.

“You’ll have to kill more before I ever let you go.”

[nyuusayuri]

My "handsome" Stalker

Ateez Choi San x Reader (SMUT)

Warnings: stalking, signs of violence, dirty talk, possessive behavior, smut

For your information: I made up this story 10 years ago (when I was around 14-15), so I apologize if some things sound weird or rushed, but I wanted to keep as much of the original as possible.

In the middle of the forest, I got a strange feeling. A feeling I only had when something was wrong. And something was definitely not right here. I stopped and looked around carefully. It was getting a bit dark, but I didn't care. My eyes were good enough to see everything around me. When I looked back ahead, he was there. The man who hadn't left me alone for quite some time. He constantly followed me everywhere, never took his eyes off me, and allowed me no privacy. Who was this guy? A sick stalker?! Everything pointed to that being the case. I stared stubbornly into his eyes, which he hid behind black sunglasses. You could hardly see him. The only thing visible were his black hair. The rest was concealed under a black leather jacket, jeans, and black boots. Around his mouth and nose, he wore a mask.

It was intimidating to stand in front of a completely black figure that you didn't know, who was always stalking you, and was now out in the forest as it was getting darker. My limbs had stiffened, and I couldn't move an inch. "What... what do you want from me?!" As hard as it was for me, in all that fear, I tried not to show my anxiety. Did I even want to know what he wanted from me? Probably not. My gaze was fixed on him, but he didn't respond; he simply disappeared behind the bushes. Still frozen and shocked from the unexpected encounter with the unknown stalker, I stood there. Only after a while did the stiffness in my joints fade, and I continued walking through the small forest area toward my home. I took off my shoes and ignored the screaming of my quarrelsome parents, like I did every time, and went straight to my room, just to free myself from my jacket, throwing it onto the small sofa in my room and collapsing, with a loud sigh, into my cozy warm bed. Immediately, my eyelids, heavy from exhaustion, fell shut, and I drifted off into my own land with my own rules.

3 Weeks later

I was slowly fed up. This guy was still stalking me, and now the new bad boy at our school was also in the picture to annoy me. Jae and Sora helped me stay out of his way, but one day it had to happen. Unfortunately, that day was today. He and I had to work together on the same project, that's how we ended up at my house, and I swear I was so close to tearing his head off! He could never keep his hands to himself, and if my little sister wasn't here, he would have been dead a long time ago! I hated this guy so much! "San! Could you please focus on the screen and not on my cleavage?!" I shot him venomous glances, but he didn't seem to be impressed, because instead of trembling with fear, he just laughed. Had I mentioned that I hated this guy?! Because I'd gladly say it again. I hated him! "But you have two far more interesting toys to offer."

Disgusted, I redirected my gaze to the laptop in front of me and began searching for more information about Seoul before our time. After hours, we were both fed up, and it was already getting dark. Since I didn't want him to think about spending the night here, I dragged him straight to the front door. Unfortunately, my parents caught me in all the haste. They still believed that I should finally get a boyfriend, and they were okay with absolutely anyone at the moment. Just not for me. "Y/N sweetheart? Why are you in such a hurry with that poor guy?" I interrupted my mom before she could continue. "I have a lot to do, Mom. San should really be going now." Without waiting for another word, from anyone, I shoved him out the door and slammed it behind me. My parents just looked at me with wide eyes, confusion written on their foreheads. They were the kind of parents who never understood teenagers like me. So I didn't care any further because I knew it wouldn't do any good and immediately disappeared back into "My" realm. "What an idiot! If my parents dare to hook me up with him, I swear I'm gonna jump off a bridge!" I muttered, slightly annoyed.

Yes, I was easily provoked and thrown off course in the evenings. Grumbling, I threw myself onto the bed, pulled the blanket over me, switched off my bedside lamp, and fell immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep. The next morning, I had no desire to go to school. Especially because I had to see him again. It would be even worse if I had to see them both. If I encountered that weird guy from the forest in the same spot again. The thought sent chills down my spine. He scared me, but still... there was something intriguing about him that drew me in. Yes, it really sounded like I was losing my mind, but I was definitely still sane. That's why it felt so strange to me. After arriving at school, I initially had my peace and quiet. Jae and Sora weren't there today, so I could wander around alone all day. I actually had many friends at school, but I only hung out with those I cared about more.

With the others, I would just be bored and wouldn't fit into the group at all. And I could definitely do without that. So, I preferred to sit in a quiet place, put on my headphones, and listen to music. It was a nice feeling to be able to be by myself. At home, I had my family, who usually got on my nerves, and here I had my two friends, who constantly talked about some celebrities, fashion, or other stuff while I just stood there, lost in my thoughts. Today, I had settled once again into my usual spot and listened to Taeyeon's beautiful voice in her song "I." One of the few songs that calmed me down so much that I could relax deeply and everything around me felt like air.

After a while, I looked at the clock on my phone and realized that class was starting again. Thank goodness I had developed a sense for that, otherwise, I would have been late. Sighing, I sank down into my seat and rested my head on my hand. It was so boring without the two of them. But only in class. Suddenly, the shrieking of the girls echoed through the room, causing me to cover my ears and look in the direction where they had all gathered. Who else stood in the doorway? Of course. Choi fucking San. Why else would the girls start screeching like that? Without a word, I just walked right past them and couldn't help but feel his gaze on the back of my neck. Creep.

After school, the feeling of being followed overcame me again. I kept turning around and looking at the surroundings, but I saw no one following me. The few people who were walking around ignored me or gave me confused looks. Shrugging my shoulders, I continued walking. When I arrived home, it was really quiet. That had never happened before. For the past two years, there had always been pure terror as soon as I got home. After all this time, it was quiet in the house, but I didn't like it. Before I went to my room, I crossed the entire house and looked around. Everyone was gone. No one there. Strange. I was still quite uneasy, but I tried to ignore it and went to my room. My phone suddenly flashed and showed me a message from my mother. Apparently my parents and my sister are currently at the doctor's because she had the brilliant idea of ​​eating nuts at school despite her nut allergy. Can't say I was surprised to hear that.

Immediately, I sat down to do my homework because, 1. I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, and 2. I knew I'd be sitting there for hours again. "Finally! Done." I exhaled and leaned back in my chair. After three hours, I had finally finished. To be honest, I was the kind of person who always got distracted by something without meaning to. That's why I spent a bit longer than others on my homework. When my stomach finally started growling, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the leftovers from the casserole in the fridge, put it on a plate, and popped it in the microwave while leaning against the counter in our kitchen. Bing. I jumped up, took the plate out of the microwave, and sat down on the sofa, switching on the TV at the same time. I always watched TV while eating. It was completely normal for me.

Something shattered behind me. A small scream escaped my throat, and I immediately looked behind me in the apartment. No one there. But what was that? On the shelf above the TV, we had katanas on display. I couldn't handle those things, but it was better than being unarmed. I quickly grabbed one of the katanas, carefully took it out of its sheath, and walked cautiously in the direction from which the noise originated.

Keeping the sword poised in front of me, I walked through the hallway and discovered my mother's vase shattered on the floor. I almost stepped on the shards. I walked around it in a wide arc and moved toward my father's office. Light was on, and the door was ajar. Suddenly, I saw a shadow beneath the door. I felt fear. Real fear. Any sane person would have screamed and run out of the house, calling for help. But I was different in this situation. What I was doing was the last thing anyone should do.

The door slowly opened, and I held the sword ready to confront the intruder. My eyes widened when I saw who stood before me. The guy who kept stalking me. He was here. In my house! Oh my God! What now? I was frozen. My hands trembled with uncertainty. The last bit of my courage had vanished. The guy slowly approached me cautiously, reaching for his mask that covered half of his face and slowly pulled it down. At the same time, he removed his sunglasses. Did I want to see what creature was beneath that mask? I squinted my eyes and bit down hard on my lower lip. My heart raced uncontrollably, and the adrenaline surged through my blood, making me feel so nervous and restless I could hardly stand. I had never felt as much fear in my entire life as I did in that moment. "Look at me, Y/N." That voice. I knew it. Could it be? Was it really him? Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and immediately looked into the face of the person I hated most. Choi San stood right in front of me. He was the stalker?! Was this guy joking with me?! Angrily, I put the katana down and glared at him with hatred.

"Have you lost your mind scaring me like this?! Do that again, and I'll rip your head off!" I shouted at him, and he flinched slightly before grabbing my wrists and slamming me roughly against the wall. His face was uncomfortably close, and not a second later, as I was thinking about it, his lips were on mine. I fought with all my strength, but he was ten times stronger than me, so I eventually gave in. Still reluctantly, I reciprocated his kiss, and he immediately made it more demanding and wild. I didn't know why, but over time, I let him overpower me. I surrendered completely as he started covering my neck with kisses and sometimes began sucking on it. We then moved into my room; he immediately shoved me onto my bed and knelt over me. Again, he placed his lips on mine, and I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me. Why did I suddenly have this desire for him? None of this made any sense. I hated him! And yet, here I was, wildly making out beneath him. His fingers slid under my shirt and slowly pushed it up. He stroked my stomach while sucking on my neck. Tomorrow, I would definitely have a hickey there.

Jae and Sora were back today. That mainly took away the boredom. It had been two weeks already, but I constantly thought back to that one night when he was with me and kissed me. But the worst part of it all was that I had reciprocated, and if my parents hadn't come home that evening, I probably would have... Oh God, please no! Not with him! Anything but that! My aching cheek brought me back to reality. My two friends were standing in front of me, and Sora had slapped me. That was the only way to pull me out of my daydreams. Still, it hurt. "Sora~. What was that for? That hurts." I whined with a pout. She just placed her hands on her hips and looked at me sternly. "Then stop daydreaming when I'm talking to you. You know how much I hate being ignored." Oh yes, that was true. And how much she hated it. Just as much as being interrupted. If she ever got a boyfriend, I hoped for him that he was deaf-mute.

He pulled my shirt over my head and pinned my wrists to the bed. I hadn't expected that. A bit surprised and nervous at the same time, I looked at him. "S-San? What-..." "Shh. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. You mean way too much to me," he murmured against my lips, interrupting me and teasingly licking them. He was driving me crazy. I was already feeling so hot, and my body was practically screaming for him. He sat up and took off his coat and shirt as well. Could you believe it? He had an incredibly well-trained body, and so many tattoos adorned him, making him even more attractive. "Do you like what you see?" he grinned cheekily at me, and only now did I realize that I was staring. I turned my face away, blushing slightly, but didn't answer him. Again, he leaned down for another wild kiss and captured my lips. Suddenly, the front door slammed open, and we both stared in shock in that direction. Then our eyes met again. San pulled his clothes back on, freed me from my restraints, and ran to my window. "See you later," he winked at me and then jumped out of the window. Completely dazed, I remained lying in bed.

A few days later

Suddenly students started to run past us outside and formed a circle around a spot. What the hell? My expression became serious, and I marched outside to the yard with my friends directly behind me. I stopped and saw... my best friend and San? What had Wooyong done? He was the nicest person I knew and was pretty much always with me. Jae always said he wanted something from me, but I couldn't believe that. He was my best friend and nothing more. San seemed to be the one who was angry. I could tell by his gaze. He was tearing Wooyoung apart with just his eyes. I walked up to the two of them and stood between the two fighters. "What's going on here?!" I said seriously, crossing my arms over my chest. San simply ignored me, walked up to him, grabbed him by the collar, and whispered something in his ear that I unfortunately couldn't hear. I immediately pulled him away from Wooyoung, who shot him an angry look before disappearing into the school building, taking half the students with him. The rest scattered across the schoolyard. I could only shake my head and walked over to my best friend. "Wooyoung. Are you okay? What was that about?" "Nothing! That's none of your business." He turned around and just walked away. I watched him with wide eyes. What was that all about?

After school, I felt again that I was being followed. This time, I didn't care since I knew who it was, and I definitely had no fear of him. Out of nowhere I was grabbed by the arm and pulled into a wooded area. Totally surprised, I looked at the back of San's head and was literally forced to follow him. "San, what the hell? Let me go!" He didn't say anything but just kept pulling me along. Eventually, we arrived in a big backyard. "Wait a minute. Isn't this... my backyard?!" I looked at San, somewhat confused. However, he averted his gaze and pulled me into the house. He shoved me into my room and locked the door behind him. He angrily approached me and pushed me onto my bed, leaning over me and looking into my eyes intently. "Stay away from him! Do you understand?!" I blinked several times to comprehend what he meant. "What... what do you mean by that?" He sighed and lowered his head for a moment before looking back into my eyes. "Your friend just wants to get into your pants. Don't fall for that fraud!" "What?! Wooyoung is my best friend! He would never do that!" "Oh, really? Are you sure?" he said still seriously, leaning even closer to me. "Kim Sook. She was very close friends with him for two years until they ended up in bed, and then he left her hanging. My friend Mingi's sister didn't fare any better. So how do you know it would be different for you?! Do you really think I'd let that happen?!" he nearly shouted at me, and I stayed calm out of fear.

For a while, we stared into each other's eyes in silence. He was still so close to me; it made me quite nervous, but it also calmed me down. His closeness and warmth soothed me just like the wonderful, musky scent of his aftershave. Slowly, he bridged the last few centimeters and I could feel those wonderful, soft lips on mine. It was just a brief kiss, but it awakened so much within me. "I don't want to lose you to him," he whispered against my lips and kissed me again, this time with more pressure. I couldn't resist this guy, so I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He supported himself on his forearms on either side of my head and let the kiss become more passionate while one of his hands glided from my neck down my entire body. A pleasurable shiver ran down my spine, and it felt like it was getting warmer in my room. His hand wandered under my shirt and slowly lifted it. His tongue teased over my lips, and I willingly opened them for him. San's tongue explored my mouth, played with mine, and with both hands, he massaged my breasts. Things got hotter and he leaned down to my neck, gently kissing his way down to my breasts, pulling my shirt and bra off. Normally, I would have turned red with shame, but at that moment, I was too aroused by the hot curly head above me.

His gaze devoured me, and he licked his lips seductively before leaning down to my breasts, circling my nipples with his tongue. Moaning softly, I scratched lightly down his back, enjoying the teasing of my breasts. Occasionally, he would bite lightly and suck on them. It was driving me insane, and my core started tingling with excitement. Impatiently, I squirmed beneath him and noticed his dirty grin as he kissed down my stomach. He wouldn't dare...?! No second later, my legs were pushed further apart, and I saw his head disappear between my legs. "San, stop that!" A bit embarrassed, I tried to stop him, grabbing his hair, but in the next moment, I had to stifle a moan and instinctively clutched his hair tightly. My strength slipped away in an instant, and I sank back into the pillows. He blissfully ran his long tongue along my wet core, skillfully teasing my sensitive pearl with the tip of his tongue, which only made me moan louder, my hips involuntarily arching up to meet him. His lips wrapped around my pearl, and he sucked on it hard, licking teasingly over my entrance while grinning at me. I couldn't do anything but surrender completely and let this man drive me crazy.

Moaning, I pulled on his hair and moved my hips against him, feeling that I was getting closer to my long-desired climax. Just a few more seconds, and I would finally go over the edge after his sweet torture on my sensitive clit. "San! Fuck!" I cried out, clutching his hair tighter, pulling on it as I arched my back and climaxed. Never in my life had an orgasm been as overwhelming as this one. Breathless and totally surprised, I looked at San, who was smirking cheekily, eliciting one last whimper from me followed by a reflexive arching of my hips as his tongue glided one last time over my now pulsating core. He kissed his way back up to me, sucking onto a spot behind my ear. I bit my lower lip to stifle any revealing sound, but just the tension in my body seemed to let him know that it was that spot I liked the most, and he traced it with his tongue. "Do you like that?" he whispered into my ear with his rough, deep voice, bringing another whimper out of me, and the only thing I could manage was a weak nod. San looked at me and didn't even try to hide his smug grin, to which I just rolled my eyes.

My gaze traveled along his face to his full, rosy lips, just waiting to press themselves back onto mine, showering me with their gentleness. "Do you want more?" It was just a soft whisper brushing against my lips that sent indescribable goosebumps down my spine, yet it was enough to stir up my loins and reflexively make my head nod slightly, though forcefully. God, what was this guy doing to me? Grinning, San stood up from me, and I became witness to an incredibly hot strip tease. It hadn't even occurred to me that he still had all his clothes on. But that I was getting this private show right now made me all the happier, and I could hardly wait to feel him inside me. To be taken shamelessly yet tenderly and passionately. He was driving me completely mad, and my clarity was dwindling as I was led to unleash the woman that had been slumbering inside me this whole time. A fiery young woman who had been waiting for the man who would cloud all her senses and send her to cloud nine, making her forget where up and down were. I immediately shook my head and tried to regain some clarity of mind.

This guy had managed to make me aroused just by my thoughts of the tattooed, dominant, and hot man who had such an incredibly bright smile and could easily wrap any woman around his finger. I still couldn't take my eyes away from that incredibly hot six-pack, scrutinizing every single one of his tattoos in detail. I just caught on the side how he grinned at me and slowly moved back toward my bed. Like a predator, he crawled toward me, pushing me back into the pillows. Again, he came so close, and his gaze made me hold my breath for a moment. His eyes were full of lust, and even his breath became a bit shallower, while his skin felt burning hot. "Do you have any idea how damn sexy you look? So helpless and so aroused. And all because of me." His rough voice made my core pulse even stronger, and I instinctively squirmed beneath him.

With a glazed look, he watched me until he grabbed my legs, spreading them apart and lying between them. He pressed his lips demandingly against mine and immediately deepened the kiss into a wild and intense tongue dance. San sucked on my tongue, licking and playing with it while his hands began to travel down my legs. Gently, he ran his right hand along my inner thigh to my core and paused just before reaching it. A bit confused, I was about to break the kiss and ask him what he was planning, when suddenly I felt something hard and pulsing at my entrance. Slowly and carefully, making sure not to hurt me, he entered my hot tightness. Piece by piece, deeper and deeper until he was fully buried inside me, letting out a quiet moan. With steady movements, he slowly thrust into me and gradually picked up speed, pounding harder and harder. "Oh my God. San!" Overwhelmed by this sudden and indescribable feeling as he thrust into me, I nearly screamed and clung to his back. "Found you."

Grinning, he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him and let his pelvis hit hard against mine. His thrusts became deeper and faster, and each time he hit that one spot inside me, drawing the most beautiful sounds from me and truly sending me to cloud nine. San's hands clutched the pillows beside my head, and his incredible hip movements grew more uncontrolled as he panted. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist and let him drive me onward. Finally, we both soared together over the edge and screamed each other's names into the room. Breathless and totally spent, he fell beside me after pulling out and draped the blanket over our bodies. "That was..." "Yes, that... was it," I finished his sentence, looking at him with a weak smile as I breathed heavily, which he returned by pulling me into his strong arms. "I love you, Y/N." That was the last thing I heard before my eyes fell shut and I drifted off into dreamland.

[sirixsconversations]

strawberry lemonade | t. oikawa

chapter three: matcha

wc: 3.4k warnings: swearing, breakups a/n: hey yall! this had been sitting in my drafts so...why not idk

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“Mr. Refreshing is your ex!?” 

Oikawa’s mouth lay agape as you sat on the couch, head in your hands. It was the only position that you could manage to pull yourself into, as you were thoroughly embarrassed by the conversation that just took place. 

“Yes, you could call him that,” you rolled your eyes at Oikawa’s outburst. Of course, Sugawara was friends with your *now* roommate. Your life was some kind of sick joke. 

Oikawa wasn’t wrong with his nickname for your ex--you also found him quite refreshing, still. However, it still stung to remember how abruptly things ended with your lover. It was too soon to talk to him, picking up the phone was a mist-

“y/n? Are you listening to me? Helloooooooooo y/n!” 

You broke out of your bleak thoughts about life and looked to see Oikawa leaning over your shrunken frame with a look that read confusion. 

“y/n, why didn’t you tell me Sugawara was your ex? I’ve known that guy for forever, we go way back! I can’t believe that you two would have ever dated, much less have a semi-dramatic breakup,” Oikawa rambled, thinking about his memories of high school and the feeling of playing with all of his peers. He missed the feeling of being on top, being king. 

“I didn’t think it mattered. I’ve been trying not to think about him recently, it just…hurts. Plus, I didn’t know that you guys were close. From what I witnessed at Fukurodani, Kurasano, and Aoba Josai weren’t exactly all ‘buddy-buddy’,” you teased. Oikawa shrugged. 

“Well, Suga was pretty cool. Compared to Kagayama and Hinata,” you both shared a laugh at the expense of the two crows. They both now played in the major leagues, with Bokuto and Hinata both on the same team. It sounded like a major headache for anyone within a 10-meter radius. 

Even though you sat here talking with Oikawa like everything was fine, you were shaken up. Why would he call? Did he miss you as much as you missed him? Did he think about it when he was away? Does he still love you? Do you still love him? You snapped out of your gloom, to see Oikawa rummaging through the boxes that you guys had left to unpack. He paused as he pulled out a faded t-shirt, one that was all too familiar. 

“Now where in the FUCK did you find this?! I thought I got rid of this shit like 5 years ago!” 

~

You changed your outfit like 8 times since you’ve gotten dressed. You wanted to look perfect, but also like you didn’t care. But also like you did because you still did. So much. It was no use, you looked and felt like shit in every single thing that you wore. You guessed that that’s what breakups are supposed to feel like as if every bone had been ripped out of you. 

You agreed to meet Koushi in a small cafe that recently opened a few minutes away from your apartment. It was small but busy enough that it didn’t feel like it was just the two of you in an awkward room. Closure, it was all you wanted. You had a beautiful new apartment and a new amazing friend, and you wanted to begin a new page. One that didn’t involve heartbreak and stress. 

You gave one last look at your outfit, deciding that nothing was going to satisfy you, and walked out of the room. Oikawa sat at the island that protruded from a beam (one of your favorite features of the apartment), looking intently at the laptop that lay before him. You strolled behind him, grabbing a quick glass of water to calm your bubbling nerves. Sneaking a quick peak at his screen, words flew out of your mouth before you even had a chance to think. 

“You’re not thinking of quitting your job back in Argentina are you?”

Oikawa looked up from his screen, his face twisting in thought. He sighed before closing his laptop. 

“No, no. Nothing like that, I was thinking about joining a club. I miss playing, and I know a lot of the people.” Oikawa explained. You had seen him looking at volleyball positions, which surprised you considering he was a part of the San Juan team. 

“Oh, makes sense. I’m out of it today sorry.” You frowned at the brunette boy before you and downed the rest of the glass of water. Why were you so nervous? It was just Koushi after all, and the breakup wasn’t rough, yet something was tugging at your heart. Oikawa seemed to notice your internal conflict and raised a quizzical brow. 

“Wanna talk about it? I’ve been told I have great ears for listening…well actually all of my body parts have been complimented now that I think about it,” Oikawa joked, but he was sincere. He didn’t exactly know what had occurred between you and Sugawara, but you were his friend now and he wanted to support you. 

“Well,” you sighed. “I’m meeting with Sugawara today, and I can’t help but feel like I made a wrong decision to leave, but I don’t want to go back to my previous life. Y’know?” you vented, raking your hands through your hair. 

Oikawa knew all right. 

His decision to come back to Japan was a difficult one. Sure, it was impulsive, but that didn’t mean he didn’t think it through. Two weeks before he decided to leave, he happened to run into Hinata in Brazil. It was nice to see him, but the feeling of being ‘home’ was addicting. That night he booked a ticket to Japan and called his coach to set up a meeting, the rest is history. Coming back to it, Oikawa nodded, listening to your thoughts. 

“He was a great guy too, and ugh. Where did this all go wrong.” you bury your head in your hands, feeling more stressed than before. Oikawa pouted, unsure of what to do. He had never had to comfort a girl like this before, usually it was a girlfriend or someone HE was breaking up with. 

“Do you want a hug or something? Anything? I’ll do it,” he frowned, hating the way you looked. You had only known each other for two weeks, but the bond was immediate and he didn’t want his brand new roomie having a breakdown. You just nodded at him, needed the embrace of someone. Usually, it would be Iwaizumi, but Oikawa could be a cheap replacement…for now. 

Oikawa was surprisingly a good hugger, his cologne only adding to the experience. You stayed in his embrace for a few seconds, allowing yourself a couple of deep breaths before you had to face the music. You took another breath and let go, hyping yourself up. 

“Alright. Okay. I can do this, and everything will be okay afterward!” Cheering yourself on, you grabbed your bag and headed out the door. The elevator ride did little to calm your nerves, but luckily you had time to yourself as you walked. 

You didn’t even know how to greet him anymore. There wouldn’t be a hug, or would there? Would you order what you always order? Would he? All of the thoughts swarming through your head came to an abrupt halt as you approached the store and saw him sitting by the window, his hair shining with the sun. You took a deep breath and walked in, it was happening. 

The door jingled slightly as you entered the cafe, the aroma of coffee and baked goods wafted up, bathing you in it. At the sound, Koushi peeked his head around the corner and at the sight of your face, he sighed. You gave him a small smile and walked over to the table where he sat, placing your bag on your chair. 

“Hi, Koushi,” you finally say, surprised the words didn’t get caught in your throat. Sugawara didn’t say anything and just looked at you, as if you were a ghost that he wasn’t sure was real or not. You couldn’t read his expression, was he upset? He had every right to be, yet, you couldn’t feel any animosity from him. Finally, he sighed and rushed forward to give you a hug, his hands finding the back of your head and back, holding you as if you could slip through his fingers at any moment. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird, me hugging you, but…let me indulge for a moment.” he breathed out in a tone that broke your heart into a billion pieces. You frowned into the hug, finally reaching up to pat his back, unsure of what to do in this position. He still smelled the same, which wasn’t a huge feat, as it had only been a month, but still. After a few minutes, you broke apart and sat down at the table. 

You weren’t sure what to say or what to do. After all, people rarely meet back up with their ex in circumstances like this. Looking up to meet his eyes, you could see the same feeling in his. The actual breakup was casual, you both agreeing with little argument, but yet it felt worse than being dumped. 

“How was your trip?” you finally utter, trying to make conversation before the inevitable occurs.

“It was uh, not great really. I wanted to call you every day, but I thought you would still be there when I got back and we could talk but…” Sugawara trailed off, his voice becoming tighter with every word. It was clear that he was taking it the same way you were. 

You frowned. Moving out wasn’t the plan, obviously, but Oikawa made an offer you couldn’t refuse. You refrained from mentioning Oikawa for now, as it was hardly the right time. 

“Oh. I see.” you weren’t sure how to respond to his answer, not expecting the shift to occur so soon. “I…god, I don’t even know how to go about this,” you admit, putting your face in your hands. This was going worse than you thought. However, Sugawara laughed, confusing you. 

“I’m so glad you said that because I don’t either,” he admitted, tilting his head to look at you through your fingers. You wished there had been a manual for this thing. 

“I don’t want to lose you forever, though. I think we’ve grown tired and need to see life through a different lens, which isn’t a bad thing and I wish we could have had this conversation before…well y’know,” Sugawara laughed lightly as he spoke, his clear tone cutting right through your anxiety. You finally lifted your head, giving him a lopsided smile. 

“How is it possible we think so alike?” you joked, referring to your feelings as well. He smiled and laughed. It was like seeing an old friend after a long time. 

“I think that we both were looking for something at the end, but I can’t tell you exactly what. I love you so much Koushi that it hurts to think of us at night and I know I ruined-” Your sentence was cut off by Sugawara grabbing your hand suddenly. 

“You didn’t ruin anything y/n. We are both adults here, and we both agreed on something. Sure, we both fought it at points but we reached a decision. I called you here not to make you feel bad or anything, but to tell you that I want to be a part of your life y/n. You have been my best friend for 3 years, and if we end this by being platonic, that would be my biggest dream.” he poured out, smoothing his thumb over your hand. You smiled sadly, feeling tears rush to your eyes at his genuine love for your being. 

“I would love that Suga, but could we take it slow? I’m still feeling like the ex-girlfriend who moved out right now, and I’m sure you have stuff going on,” you admit. Sugawara just nods and smiles. 

“Whatever happens, I have a feeling that we’ll find each other,” he adds, before looking at something behind you. 

“Perhaps now that we’ve had this discussion, we could share a scone and talk about what’s changed?” he suggested, much to your pleasure. 

An hour had passed by since the end of ‘that’ conversation, and now you were nibbling on a raspberry scone as Sugawara narrated the trip he had taken with his students.

“So yeah, that’s how I dragged Midori out of a tree at 3 in the morning.” he huffed, placing his hands on the table. You smiled, his frustrations about being a teacher always being amusing. 

“Anyways, onto you. I’m sorry for asking, but it worries me. Are you staying somewhere safe?” he questioned. You paused, realizing the conversation you were about to have. 

“Uh yeah, about that. I just moved into an apartment not far from here,” you say, avoiding the obvious issue with the apartment. Sugawara smiles. 

“That’s great! I would love to see it when you have time,” you gulp. You can’t keep it a secret forever, and you knew he wouldn’t be upset, but it would be awkward to explain how you moved in with another man less than a month after breaking up. 

“Oh, yeah sure! W-whenever you’re free!” you give him a fake smile, internally panicking. Sugawara checked his watch quickly before turning back to face you.

“Well, actually, I have time today, if that’s okay?” he said casually, flashing his bright smile. Your heart sank to your stomach, the truth rearing its ugly head. You just nodded and mentally prepared for the storm that was about to happen. 

“Great! We can walk over there right now,” you say through gritted teeth, wondering how you were going to explain it to him. 

Once in the elevator of the building, you prepared for the worst. However, when you approached your door, you could hear the sounds of talking along with Mario Kart. Furrowing your eyebrows, you unlocked your door. When it swung open, you were greeted by all of the Seijoh alumni along with Bokuto and Akaashi. 

“What in the hell?” you mutter, no one realizing that you and Sugawara had walked in. Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Bokuto, and Oikawa were engaged in a competitive game, while Akaashi and Iwaizumi silently talked near the island. 

Shortly after you entered, Iwaizumi broke eye contact with Akaashi and locked eyes with you, then Sugawara. He quietly excused himself before walking up to you. 

“Uh, we didn’t expect you back for a while.” He muttered, looking over at Sugawara. Sure, he was the one who told Suga to meet up with you, but what the hell were you both doing back at your apartment? 

You crinkled your face in confusion, but Hajime gave you a look that said ‘I’ll explain later’, so you dropped it. 

“I’m showing Koushi my apartment, I didn’t expect you guys to be here though,” you say with a tight smile, trying not to let something slip. 

“Oh, did you all get this apartment together? I was hoping you would move in with someone you knew-” Suga was cut off by the groans and cheers from the game ending. Soon enough, your trio was discovered by the rest. Bokuto was the first to notice, seeing that Akaashi was now alone. He followed the trail to you, Iwaizumi, and Sugawara. 

“Hey, hey! Is that Sugawara over there!?” he yelled, bounding over to give Suga a tight hug. You shook your head, he would never change. Akaashi quickly pulled Bokuto off of him, silently reminding him that he was your ex. 

“Oh, right,” he muttered, quickly moving to be by you. Iwaizumi turned back to Sugawara. 

“Sorry, you got cut off, but no we don’t live here, it's just y/n and-” 

“Mr. Refreshing himself! Wow, I didn’t expect to see you after our little phone call!” Oikawa waltzed over, sparing you a side glance of confusion. Sugawara and Oikawa exchanged a handshake before the entire group migrated over to the common area. 

You began to panic internally, the truth getting closer with every minute. Oikawa and Sugawara continued to talk as the rest of the group mingled. You turned pulling Iwaizumi aside. 

“Haji, we have an issue, the bathroom now.” you pulled the buff man behind you and into the bathroom. Once the door was locked, you immediately began to explain the entire afternoon. Iwaizumi listened silently, the only feedback being a slight nod here and there. 

“So yeah, and now he doesn’t know I moved in with some random guy I hadn’t met before last month.” You breathe out. Iwaizumi just raises an eyebrow before clearing his throat. 

“It’s going to be fine, the circumstances were…odd and he already knows the guy. If he wants to be in your life still, he’ll understand.” you nod and thank him for his advice. When you exit, Sugawara is now talking to Akaashi and Oikawa in a small circle, reminiscing about high school and whatnot. 

Strolling up behind them, you give Oikawa’s shirt a small tug, a warning for what was about to occur. 

“Ah, it seems the pretty setters are reunited!” you joke, slipping into the conversation alongside Iwaizumi. 

“Oh, y/n! I was just talking to these two about the day you picked us up from the airport, the day that changed my life forever!” Oikawa said dramatically. You laugh, trying to think of a way to let the news slip in casually. 

“Hajime was so mad,” you giggle, recalling the way Iwaizumi pouted on the way home. Oikawa nodded. 

“It’s okay, Iwa. We still love you and you’re welcome in our abode any time.” Oikawa teased, not realizing he just let it slip for you. Sugawara paused slightly, his eyebrows turning down. You froze, locking eyes with Oikawa, who had just realized what he had done. 

“Uh..”

“Wait, you’re the roommate?!” Sugawara exclaimed, turning towards Oikawa. The brunette just laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I was waiting to tell you, I know it’s kind of weird and…” you rambled, not wanting the good state you were in to crumble. Sugawara just laughed.

“I cannot wait for the stories I’ll be hearing!” Suga continued to laugh, making Iwaizumi break out into a grin. You and Oikawa froze for a moment, looking at each other confused. 

“W-what’s that supposed to mean?” you stutter out, not understanding Sugawara for the first time in your life. Sugawara stifles his laughter before looking at Iwaizumi. 

“You two are the duo that will bring down the entire nation.” Iwaizumi declared in a joking manner, causing you to roll your eyes. You and Oikawa huffed out simultaneously, causing the rest of the group to laugh. 

The rest of the evening went by smoothly, even Sugawara stayed for a while catching up with the others. However, you eventually called it quits around 11 p.m, kicking Mattsun out before he ate the rest of the food you owned. 

“Drive safe, see you later!” you called out, closing your door behind him. You turned around to see Oikawa cleaning lightly, picking up the glasses that were used earlier. Moving to clean the dishes, Oikawa motions for you to sit down. 

“I’ll do them, tell me about your little meeting with Suga today,” he grinned, leaning over the counter with a sly look in his eyes. You shrugged, causing him to pout.

“It was…normal? He had the same opinion that I do, and while we aren’t getting back together, I’m grateful to know he still wants me to be a part of his life,” you smile softly, the outcome better than you anticipated. 

“See! There was nothing to be afraid of, I told ya so!” Oikawa stuck out his tongue, teasing you about how you stressed earlier. You roll your eyes, letting him win on this one. 

“Oh! And I forgot to mention, but my old friend Kuroo asked if he could come to stay with us while his apartment was getting renovated! You might know him he’s from-” You cut Oikawa off, nodding your head.

“Nekoma, I’m aware of Kuroo. But why wouldn’t he stay with Kenma or something?” 

“He’s at some convention in the United States right now I guess.” 

You sighed, why did life have to be this way? 

“Lord help us.” 

[scoops-aboy86]

♠️♥️Famous Rockstar Eddie leaving the spotlight mysteriously and going off the radar for the next 10 years. Unbeknownst to the world, it was because he broke up with his then secret boyfriend Steve Harrington. Steve wanted to settle down, Eddie wanted to play for the world. The love never left but they both had dreams they wanted to pursue. Then very randomly he's spotted by paparazzi with a cute hubby, a wedding band on his finger, and 100lbs more than he had 10 years ago, enjoying brunch like he wasn't quote unquote "missing" to the public. 😂

Aww. I’m picturing a mostly amiable breakup… They’re both bummed to do it, but Eddie wants to leave and Steve wants to stay. It’s the 80’s, so no cell phones, no email… Much harder to keep up a long distance relationship. Both of them feel like they’re setting the other free. 

~

Cut to ten years later. Corroded Coffin made it big, and they’re coming up on the end of a tour that they’ve already said will be their last public appearance in a while. Gareth has a fiancé he wants to settle down with, Jeff is already married with a kid on the way, and Freak is thinking about going back to school for… something, he hasn’t decided what yet. 

Eddie is toying with the idea of doing a solo album or something, nothing big, but music is his life. It’s basically what he replaced Steve with after the breakup. He’s maybe leaned into food a little, especially during tours, but mostly burns it off with his on-stage antics. Over the years, he’s stuck pretty exclusively to hookups and situationships, nothing serious. As long as he has his music, everything’s fine. 

Which is why he’s dreading the end of the tour. After the second to last concert, right after they get to the next city, he does something he doesn’t usually do: he goes out and gets fucked up. (He saw what drugs and alcohol did to his parents when he was little and things were starting to fall apart, and No Thank You, but. It’s not bad if he only does it once, right? It’s fine.) 

The city happens to be Chicago. Eddie goes out, accepting just about anything anyone hands him like a moron… and wakes up having blacked out on everything except the vague impression of pop music blasted too loud for even his concert-hardened ears. The bed he’s in is comfortable in a very not-hotel-room sort of way and smells like the essence of a warm hug. He burrows into the blankets and pillows on the principle that maybe if he snuggles in deep enough he can hide from the raging hangover. 

It doesn’t work, of course, and a few minutes later he drags himself across the room on all fours to hurl his guts out into a waste basket. Which turns out not to have a liner. Oops. 

That’s when the door opens, and a mildly exasperated voice says, “Eds, seriously? I left you a bucket on your side of the bed.”

Blearily, Eddie turns and sees, of all people, Steve Harrington. Standing there in a yellow sweater and both hands on his hips like a blast from the goddamn past. He’s still handsome, still has the amazing hair, and the glasses he’s wearing lend a new kind of adult-ness to his face that hadn’t been there when he was twenty. He looks good. 

Eddie, meanwhile, feels like a stepped-on cockroach. It’s not fair. 

“Woke up facing this way,” Eddie rasps, but his heart leaps at the way Steve says your side. Like it’s still his. And it’s true, he does still prefer the left side of the bed, despite usually sleeping alone. “How are you… here? Where am I?”

Steve brings him a glass of water. “This is my apartment, I’ve been here for about three years now. I brought you here last night after you propositioned me because, and I quote, ‘You look just like the love of my fucking life that I walked away from like the dumbest idiot alive, wanna fuck and maybe marry me if my dick’s good enough? I’m kind of rich and famous, I could write so many songs about your eyes.’”

“Jesus H. Christ.” Eddie takes a sip of water, feeling like he might throw up again from embarrassment. “Did we…?”

“Nah, you passed out practically before finishing that second sentence. I carried you here to sleep it off, and answered your cell when Jeff called to check on you.” Steve, helping Eddie stand up at this point and guiding him back to the bed, raises an eyebrow. “He was extremely thorough in explaining that you don’t usually do things like this.”

Eddie groans. “Fuck… Is he sending a car or something? We’ve got a concert in… in… soon.”

“Two days,” Steve fills in easily. “Don’t worry, you have time to recover. I’ve made breakfast, if you think you can stomach it.”

Groaning again, Eddie face-plants into the pillows and realizes that wonderful scent is Steve and that’s why it was so nice when he first woke up. That smell still means home to him, even after a decade apart. “No, can’t do cereal and pop tarts right now.”

Steve snorts. “Excuse you, but one of us has learned to cook over the years and Jeff assured me it wasn’t you. There’s bacon, eggs, pancakes, and fresh strawberries. Vanilla ice cream in the freezer, too, if that still helps settle your stomach.”

“…It might,” Eddie mutters into the pillow. 

“Okay. Well, whenever you’re ready, there’s clothes at the end of the bed, and Advil and more water on the desk. I’m just going to, uh, take this basket out to the dumpster.”

Sorry, Eddie bites on his tongue to avoid saying. He’s just now realizing that he’s stripped down to his boxers and undershirt, which, like. Doesn’t even show off the coolest of his new tattoos. Not that that’s important, fuck, but it’s the first thing his hungover brain spits out about the whole situation other than, you know. 

The fact that he randomly ran into The Ex of All Time while so loaded he doesn’t even remember it happening. And Steve is acting like this is just normal even though they haven’t even been in contact for years. 

Eddie falls asleep while freaking out about this, and feels marginally more human by the time he wakes up. The clothes Steve left him are… Christ, it’s one of his old Metallica shirts, and the sweatpants that were technically Steve’s that Eddie had always stolen to sleep in, back when they were together. He doesn’t know how to feel about it. Stumbles his way out of the room to a bathroom, noticing along the way that the couch has a pile of folded blankets at one end. Because Steve probably slept there instead of his own bed. 

“Coffee?” Steve asks when Eddie finally puts in an appearance in the kitchen, passing him a mug that’s already doctored exactly the way he likes it. Eddie takes it and sips cautiously, but his stomach seems to have settled now and nothing bad happens, so he takes a longer, grateful gulp. 

The food is still waiting for him, kept warm in the oven with tin foil over the plates and heat set to low. Eddie sits down and feels something well up in his chest, in his eyes, at the first bite of scrambled eggs; it’s like eating clouds, they’re so damn fluffy. 

“‘S good,” he mumbles through a full mouth, then swallows and turns his tired eyes towards Steve. “I… I didn’t even know you’d moved to Chicago.”

Steve gives him an amused smile. “It wasn’t exactly news worthy of Rolling Stone, dude. Don’t worry about it.”

“Kinda have to,” Eddie mumbles, and jams bacon in his mouth. “I mean, I—Holy fuck, Steve, this is good. Are you a chef or something?”

The smile turns sheepish. “Sort of. It’s a long story, but I kinda teach cooking classes now? It’s a program for teens and preteens who’ve had trouble at home or with the law and need, like, better outlets that are also practical life skills. Robin’s girlfriend hooked me up, she teaches yoga and self-defense stuff at the same place.”

“Wow.” Eddie stares blankly at him for a second, before physically shaking off the surprise and looking back down at his plate. Steve had spent the past decade learning new skills and helping kids, whereas Eddie has written songs about sex, drugs, rock and roll, and… Steve’s eyes. “That’s great, Steve. You sound really happy.”

Because he does. And Eddie feels really, really bad about barreling accidentally back into Steve’s life, probably throwing a huge monkey wrench into it since there’s no way a guy this handsome and this good and this fantastic in the kitchen isn’t seeing anyone. He’d be snatched up in a second by any discerning man or woman with, like, eyes and a heart and taste buds. Which is what Steve deserves, really. He deserves someone who won’t run off at the first whiff of potential fame and fortune somewhere he can’t follow. 

“I do alright,” Steve replies modestly. 

“I’ll replace your waste basket,” Eddie blurts out. Because Steve deserves someone who doesn’t ever get fucked up enough to puke in and ruin his stuff, even if it’s not something he does regularly. “And, this is great, really, thank you for breakfast, but I should get out of your hair. I’m… sorry for ambushing you last night, or whatever it was I did, I can’t even remember—”

His hand is clenched around his fork so tight that his knuckles have gone pale, and he almost jolts out of his chair when Steve puts a hand over it, massaging his grip into loosening slightly. “First of all, I got that thing at Costco,” Steve informs him. “It’s not a big deal. Second, you didn’t ambush me. I mean, I was surprised, for sure, but… it was nice to hear that I’m still the love of your life.” Steve gives his hand a gentle squeeze. “Really nice, Eds. And third, you didn’t exactly walk away. You asked me to come with you, I was the one who wasn’t ready to leave Hawkins then. We agreed, remember?”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. He feels like careening back into Steve’s orbit now must count as some sort of violation of that agreement, or something… and yet Steve is still holding his hand. 

“I actually…” Steve hesitates, looking unexpectedly shy for someone who Eddie must be bothering. Then, instead of finishing the sentence, he lets go of Eddie’s hand to pull something from his back pocket and lay it on the table.

It’s a ticket. A VIP meet and greet pass for the Corroded Coffin concert in two days. 

“Everybody pitched in and got this for my birthday,” he says sheepishly. “They went on presale on the exact day, Dustin kept saying it was a sign.”

Eddie, who’s never paid much attention to ticket sales in general, much less the dates they become available, can only stare at it. His throat feels tight knowing that he would’ve seen Steve anyway, that it could’ve happened while he was riding the adrenaline high of performing instead of feeling like roadkill freshly scraped off the asphalt. 

“Which, if it was a sign, I’m guessing it wasn’t on purpose, since you didn’t even know I live out here now,” Steve continues. “But, well, they got it, and… I told Robin I wasn’t sure if I’d go, but I knew from the second I opened the envelope it was a done deal.”

“What about… A-aren’t you seeing anyone?” Eddie asks. He remembers, in wistful, rosy detail, Steve being in his element as a boyfriend. Knows that he loves having someone to share everything with, to learn through and through, to kiss and murmur I missed you even if it’s only been an hour, even when it wasn’t safe for two guys to do that openly in small town Indiana and he’d had to limit himself to a fleeting touch and saying it with his eyes. 

“No.” Steve shrugs. “I tried putting myself out there on and off, but there was never enough of a spark to make it past three or four dates. I always knew you were it for me, Eddie, even if we never got another chance. And this…” He taps the concert ticket. “I was going to ask if you wanted one, because god knows I’d give it to you. You don’t have to answer now, because going by how you look you must feel like crap—”

“Oh fuck you, dude.” Never one to sit stoically through Steve’s teasing, Eddie groans and hides a grudging you’ve got me there smile behind a handful of his own hair. 

Steve grins. “Sorry,” he says, not sounding or looking sorry at all. 

Which is where they leave it, for now. Eddie finishes his breakfast, clearing his plate and dishing up seconds because once he starts eating in earnest his stomach settles and he’s starving, and it’s all so good. And it’s not like they’re magically back together—Steve had slept on the couch instead of in the bed with him, they haven’t been close enough to share so much as a meal and conversation like this for ten years, but it’s a start. A chance to get to know each other again, see if they still fit. 

~

Fast forward another ten years. Eddie’s solo career is doing well but he doesn’t do public appearances, got all of his recording done at home in his private studio. He’s pretty much a homebody, which surprised some of the people who know him but not the ones that know him well. 

Steve still has the same job, not because he needs to work but because he loves it. He’s also Eddie’s de facto private chef, and he loves that too. 

But he’s not cooking today, because it’s their anniversary and Eddie is dead set on painting the town red. “Of course I still want to,” Eddie assures him again, nuzzling sleepily up against his unofficial husband (they’re holding out until it becomes legal in either Illinois or Indiana, whichever comes first) when Steve wakes him and asks if he’s still sure about their brunch reservations. “I want to take you out and show you off. Remember how I promised you how rich and famous I am and how cool that would be?”

Steve huffs in amusement, leaning into the nuzzling. “First of all, it was more of a statement than a promise. The actual promise was to write so many songs about my eyes. Second of all, you don’t remember that.”

“Kept the promise either way, didn’t I?” Eddie nips at his collarbone, bare because Steve never was one for sleeping with a shirt on, even when the weather turns cold. “I’ve written songs about your eyes, your smile, this ass…” He grabs at it with a little growl, leaning more of his weight onto Steve to reach and enjoying the way his sweetheart happily squirms. 

“Mmm, yeah,” Steve sighs. “But we could still stay in… have breakfast in bed…” His own hands find Eddie’s love handles and settle there. “Not have to get dressed.”

“Nope.” Eddie props himself up on one thick arm and kisses him on the nose. Then yawns hugely. “It’s about time I get some fresh air, and I’m taking you out, baby.”

So Steve crawls out of bed, fetching Eddie the clothes he asks for and gamely taking suggestions for his own outfit—though he anticipates every article with a smirk, starting to grab each hanger before the words are fully past Eddie’s lips. Jeans that are just a little on the tight side and highlight the ass that Eddie so loves to grab (and sing about grabbing, the horny lovesick goblin man), a t-shirt that shows off his muscles and broad shoulders (because he may be turning forty next month but he takes damn fine care of his body), and the leather jacket from Eddie’s Corroded Coffin days that no longer fit their original owner. 

Because Eddie, who loves Steve’s food, has put on at least a hundred pounds in the past decade,maybe more. Most of it has gone to his belly, but he’s pretty round and soft all over—except his ass, for some reason, which is his excuse for how much attention he regularly bestows on Steve’s. 

That’s not why he’s stayed out of the public eye for so long though. It’s more because he got his fill of being a rock star, being recognized everywhere he goes, being photographed all the time and known for his wild antics. He’d wanted that when he was younger, so badly, needed the accolades and acknowledgement as someone who hadn’t gotten a lot of that as a child. But that rock star life took him away from Steve for so long, which he both regrets and doesn’t because it all worked out in the end. He’d been in it just as much for being able to make and share his music, too, which he can still do, so he’s happy. Happy and so, so in love. 

Their day is back to back reservations at various restaurants, all selected by Eddie because of dishes he knows that Steve will want to try and recreate at home. “Inspiration for your craft,” Eddie tells him with a wink, his own cheeks pink and grin lazy with the pleasure of overindulgence. 

Pictures are taken, more by cell phones than paparazzi because it’s the 2000’s now (not long before the Supreme Court of California issues a finding that allows that state to start issuing same-sex marriage licenses out on the West Coast, and Steve and Eddie fly out for Robin’s backyard wedding). They circulate the internet, with thousands of people weighing in on whether that really is Eddie Munson, the “missing” front man from Corroded Coffin. There are comparisons between old photos and these new ones, in depth analyses that range from “he wouldn’t get that fat” to “wow he really let himself go” to “looks like he’s living his best life.”

Eddie and his sweetheart—who is a total unknown except to some of the kids at the program who see the pictures and flip out because since when is Mr. Harrington so close with a famous metal guitarist omg, he’s so lame with all his sweater vests and dad jokes—remain unaware and unbothered as Steve helps Eddie tuck his already full belly back into his pants, get him all zipped up again, and leave brunch for their next stop. 

And they have a very lovely day.

Permanent tag list (ask to be added): @hotluncheddie @tangerinesteve @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax

[hiveswap]

hey, what the fuck is happening over there [hungary]?????

oh, god hi fens it's a mess

europe is having eu parliament elections, which are kind of a big deal and every party here is campaigning to have their candidate sent so that they can influence eu policy or whatever.

At the same time, there's a new party called "Tisza" (both the name of a major river and an acronym for "purity and freedom") lead by a young former government politican called Magyar Péter. He's ridiculously popular rn. Dude knows how to move crowds and wants Hungary to catch up to eu standards which we are definietly not reaching under Fidesz (current govt. party) Obviously I don't trust him entirely but they've got a legit chance of making things better and that is GOOD.

Other parties exist as well, but they've got no relevance, no voter base, and nobody wants them: These include Mi hazánk (nazis) and Kétfarkú kutyapárt (two tailed dog party) who are there for the meme and nothing else, their candidate showed up in a leather jacket to a debate and made jokes the whole time. (iconic) There's also a bunch of others but no one likes them all that much

Still at the same time, Fidesz has been at power for 12 fucking years. (one thing Tisza wants to do is limit this to 8 years max for future elections) And they've got this fucking country in the middle of a mass hysteria episode.

Their talking points include:

George Soros/Soros György is sending (arab) immigrants here to rape women and do crime and he pays leftist politicans to do this for him. And this is good for them because...? (they are cartoon villians dont question it pls)

2. Bruxelles (eu parliament) bad because they do gender and immigration (because of George Soros)

This George Soros thing got to the point where the current eu rep. went to a debate and accused all other candidates there, to their faces, of being paid by him. like, to their faces live on public television.

3. THE WAR -> according to our prime minister Orbán Viktor, all other parties except them want to bring back the draft and send hungarian boys to Ukraine to fight (absolutely deranged idea, no party wants this, they keep saiyng they don't) and also he's saying that Europe is heading towards a third world war and they are going to change this if they get into the eu parliament (they are in, right now, too.)

This has gotten to the point where they've got posters and ads about how there is going to be war and only they can save us. Magyar Péter appeared on tv saying he's been approached by a teacher whose students, 9-10 years old, were afraid that a burning house across the lake from their summercamp meant we were being bombed by Russia. (He's a politican so take this anecdote with a grain of salt)

...Anyway the chatch is that the govt. has allegedly been sending hungarian soliders to Chad this whole time so theyve got 0 right to say anything about them potentially being sent to Ukraine maybe.

4. Child protection from i guess queer people..? This one was big until recently, they banned mentions of queer people from schools, (before florida did btw) removed self-identification for trans people, ect.

This child protection "GENDER IDEOLÓGIA" (no we don't use the word gender in hungarian, they just left it in english) campaign ended when our president pardonned a pedophile children's home headmaster a few months ago, sparked an outrage, and had to step down. They've yet to apologise to the kids, btw. (The president in question, Novák Katalin, what a fucking girlboss, belonged to that far right Mi Hazánk party i mentioned before btw) They haven't been talking about protecting the children since, strangely.

there's also going to be a battery factory in Debdrecen (2nd largest city) which everyone hates and nobody wants and it's polluting the farmlands and the groundwater around there.

SO. YEAH. yay for hungary this is barely scratching the surface

[danvillecheese]

why do u think act ur age is fucked

[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.

I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it

[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]

first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!

second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?

third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)

four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao

five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.

i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?

i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.

as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!

thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3

[southshoretides]

There was a great post I saw a while back but lost about the ideological lens of media criticism that went like "Your average Reylo-hater doesn't hate it because she thinks Rey is not submitting to Kylo as a wife rightfully should, they hate it because it normalizes abuse. People who really hate Avatar tend to think it's colonialist, not that the humans are failing to teach the Na'vi about Christianity. People who hate Harry Potter in 2024 hate it because it's a story about rich prep school kids growing up to become feds plus the trans stuff etc, not because books about magic are Of The Devil."

In other words, you can only say that shaming campaigns/social-media mobbing for people who like Problematic Content is inherently a conservative (i.e. bad) thing (which is an argument I see over and over again, and not just on Tumblr) if you define 'conservative' as entirely divorced from its object-level goals (re: family, religion, law and order, etc) and round it off to "telling people that their feelings are invalid or immoral," with the implied inverse being that it's unprogressive to ever criticize someone's tastes in media.

And I guess that's internally consistent if your modal progressive is a live-and-let-live hippie with a high openness-to-experience and agreeability scores, that's internally consistent. But it's 2024 and if that's your modal progressive, I'm wondering why. Part of the reason this sort of stuff gets me genuinely worked up in a way little else does these days is that it seems so willfully, deliberately ignorant of the last ten years of cultural change, and it often comes from people who really ought to know better.

Because if you listen to the sort of people who hate Problematic Content, you will find that they indeed don't care about media spreading the Gospel, or enforcing traditional heteronormative values, or being patriotic, in fact they have contempt for all those things (which are, yes, themselves, kind of hall-of-mirrorsy concepts, but the important point here is that most conservatives define themselves as favorable to those concepts).

But what they do care about is media that enforces harmful stereotypes, or causes harm to marginalized groups, or defends capitalism/nationalism/etc, and other things conservatives don't really care about. And it is entirely internally consistent to say "I hold progressive values XYZ, I think that fiction that opposes my values will weaken them, ergo I want to ban or suppress fiction that opposes my values." There's nothing inherently un-leftist about that, the Soviet bloc did it for decades! There are millions and millions of people who think that way who openly and proudly despise all things conservative and Republican.

Thousands of words have been spilled about what happened to the left in the 10s, how they willingly took on the pro-censorship, pro-word-police mantle once various proto-Trumps and the big guy himself ran in the opposite direction. Maybe the last few years of things (somewhat, sorta) swinging back the other way have made people forget. (And I put 'in 2024' up there for a reason: the battlefield really was very different as little as 15 years ago. But now it's not.)

But I think it's more likely that people who think you can't be both censorious and a progressive are simply still unwilling to truly accept that, that we have this whole class of people who may say the right things and vote the right way on green fuel and gay rights and whatever else, who claim the mantle of progressives, but are as strict and paranoid and closed-minded as any conservative in practice when it comes to anything outside their comfort zone, just as dependent on whisper campaigns and public moral grandstanding and consent-manufacture as the conservatives they hate.

And this is embarrassing for leftists who don't believe in media censorship, so they try to write these guys off as infected by enemy memes, or double agents, or just hopelessly confused. Either way, they're not real progressives, because they're not how I'd prefer progressives to be. And like again, fine, you can do that, but we have a term for that behavior, not a complimentary one. "Progressives don't ban books" only hold true insofar as progressives don't ban books--that the people with the levers of power in the progressive movement refrain from doing that.

Ultimately, a book banned for reasons of blah blah Jesus morals Christian America is a banned book, and a book banned for reasons of blah blah privilege historical inequity triggers trauma is a banned book, and no clever rhetoric can get you around that.

[ofcircusesandhives]

Now I’m curious as Clyde here! Was it perhaps your father or other paternal figure?

“Okay so- let me set the scene for you all.”

“This was about- 7 years ago, I was 10 and This was about 3 weeks before winter break. And as anyone who’s ever been in a school setting will tell you, it’s within those couple weeks when everyone in their mother and brothers end up sick in one way or another.” “Cold, flues, stomach bugs- If I’m remembering right I think Tommy got pink eye, glad I didn’t get that- the whole package. And I was not spared from this shared misery-”

“I got the flu, I think I likely got it from Jay or Raven- Um, best friends, twins, known eachother since diapers- but yeah, I got the flu.”

“And dear stars above I think that was the worst illness I’ve experienced in my whole life- like, I am surprised I didn’t get taken to the Er or something, because it was Bad. I was constantly throwing up, and when I wasn’t throwing up I was coughing so bad it Made me throw up- I could barely breathe, so on and so on you all know how it goes.”

“Then one day, after I’ve been sick for maybe- 3 days? Something like that, Mother came home with this medicine. It didn’t have any labels on it or anything, and it just smelled and tasted like Grape. Not even that gross grape flavor most medicine tasted like- it honestly just tasted like grape juice, and I don’t know what kind of magic she put in that stuff- But whenever I took it, I felt fine for like the next 6 hours. I was still stuffed up and feverish but I felt normal.”

“And….One very cloudy morning, when mum and mother and Benedict had all left to go do something- I honestly can’t remember what- I had felt so so bad, that I had found one of those unmarked medicine bottles-”

“And I just downed the whole thing and went to lay on the couch.” 

“And um, here’s the thing I forgot to mention about this stuff, while it did make me feel normal it also made me so very sleepy- so I bet you can image what happened the very Second I laid on the couch.” 

“I can’t tell you how Long I was asleep, but I know that when I woke up- kinda- you know that feeling when you’re kinda awake kinda asleep? Yeah that was me- when I opened my eyes again I was in someone’s arms. And whoever this was, they were big- Maybe only slightly shorter than Clyde- and I Know they were wearing some kind of Hat and some kind of Furry cloak thing. Note, not fluffy, it was that scratchy tough type of furry.” 

“I didn’t see much because it was dark, like all the lights out were in the house, and because I was drugged out….but they brought me to my room and tucked me in, and then I passed out again and didn’t wake up for like- 7 hours later and got scolded by my mother, which is fair.” 

“....so yeah, that’s my “The hat man tucked me into bed” story. Still don’t know who it was, Jay think I was likely hallucinating the figure over my brother or something, but I don’t know- It was too tall to be Benedict but he is the only one in my family strong enough to pick me up.” ...

".....Huh....."

".....why do you look-" A squeak, then a snicker. "Oh come on, no more hugs!!"

"No, all the hugs- and plus, it's getting late..."

"It's almost 6am, this is when humans wake up."

"And when we should head to bed."

"C'mon, just a few more questions."

"Finnnnnne, but I'm not letting you go."

[crowblincray]

So I have at least 20 years of experience in the janitorial profession. (Work at a grocery store now) The number of stories I have from said time are kinda crazy.

I've cleaned for so many various businesses and have cleaned homes and apartments.

Most people don't think of the cleaning staff. It's a mostly thankless job, you're basically invisible until someone has something to complain about.

The pay usually sucks, at least with the companies I worked for. No benefits, no days off, no breaks.

You get to see a side of the world that most don't even think about.

I have a lot of ghost stories in particular. A lot of places I worked at had weird occurrences and paranormal things. Something about night time in various locations really changes things.

I grew up with an awareness of unexplainable things. My mom never told me ghosts didn't exist or anything like that. If anything, she had her own stories from her childhood.

I don't expect other people to believe my stories or beliefs about things. If you read my stories and want to think of it as just spooky stories, so be it. I'm not here to convince anyone.

That being said.

The most haunted place I ever cleaned for was a private school.

To my knowledge, it's no longer there and was torn down some years ago but I haven't bothered to confirm. I never want to go back to that place.

Now ghosts and weird stuff don't easily scare me. I cleaned for other buildings that had resident ghosts that I became familiar with and even kind of befriended, maybe?

Anyway this place in particular was bad. I don't know what it was about it.

During the day it was beautiful. Birds singing, squirrels running around. 8 acres, 10 buildings. Quiet area.

At night, the place changed. I once had a moment there that felt straight out of silent hill. I worked there with only one other person and sometimes completely alone.

One afternoon as the sun was going down we were outside of the performance building they had for plays and the science fair they did, etc. There was an airforce base within close proximity. The storm sirens at the base started up just as the last bit of light fell behind the horizon. Sounding just like the silent hill sirens. The area instantly felt different, malevolent. The woman I worked with felt it too. A large southern black lady who didn't scare easily. She shuddered at the same time I felt a chill and loudly declared, "Whelp, time to get in the building!" And left to go back inside. Me following right behind her.

The bugs that would infest that place were Massive. I usually don't mind most bugs but I'm talking centipedes that looked like living ostrich feathers that had no fear of humans. Various other bugs I'd never seen or heard of at the time.

It felt like it would rain every night there. Sometimes only on that property. One time I got so mad about it since I had to go outside and walk to each building carrying all my cleaning supplies and would get drenched in the process. One night I screamed at the sky in frustration, "Stop Fucking Raining!" At the top of my lungs at the sky. Oddly enough it did a few minutes later.

The place felt like it had a mind of its own. Like it was alive. I know it sounds crazy. Yes there were ghosts there but there was something about it that scared me more than the ghosts.

You know how at night big glass windows kind of turn into black mirrors and you can't see outside? Just a reflection of the inside?

I'd see kids in the windows all the time following me around. In one building there was a tall black figure I could see following behind me all the time.

The performance building I mentioned earlier had an old man I'd see there sometimes. Now to turn the lights off in that building you had to go All the way behind where the stage was and flip them off and walk back to the front door in pitch black. I didn't have a flashlight either. Now I'm not afraid of the dark, never really have been. I usually find it comforting. As soon as I would flip that light off I'd feel like I had to run out of there. Like I was being chased out by the old man. I don't think he liked people being around after dark.

I'd constantly hear my name being called or people talking though no one was there. I'd ask the other lady if she had called for me or anything. She never did. She was encountering the same kind of things that I was.

It got so bad and I started getting so paranoid and distracted that I started bringing music with me to drown it out. To try and ignore all the creepy crap just so I could get my work done. My coworker began to do the same.

Time would seem to warp some nights. Things that should have only been 20 or 30 minutes long would in actuality be over an hour.

Other times, nights that seemed to go on forever were relatively short. I usually have really good time management with that job so it was really weird.

There is one funny story about that place I'll never forget though.

The place had two huge gates that leads into the campus that were kept locked at night. One being right in front of the very first building.

It was around 2/3am, pouring rain outside. I had just finished bagging the trash in that building and was dragging it out the front door. We would leave the bags of garbage at the front of the buildings to collect at the end of our shift.

I was there alone that night. The road in front of the school was usually completely dead that time of night. I hadn't seen any cars go by at this point.

One lone car is going down the road and comes to a stop right by the gate as I'm putting the bags down. They roll their window down and turn their radio up.

It's blasting Set fire to the rain by Adele.

I stare at the car.

They drive off.

I shake my head and walked back into the building.

When we were given the news that we had been fired from that place I felt no panic or anxiety that I would usually feel at such news.

I was relieved.

I might try and post some other stories here sometime, but that place will always stick in my mind.

P.S. little funny fact. It was the exact same private school my mom had sent me for kindergarten/1st grade. Lol.

[becauseimanicequeen]

To Be Continued: Achi Bringing the Past Into the Present

I've just rewatched To Be Continued as part of my Pride Month (here's my Pride Month Watch List if you're curious about what I planned on watching going into June), and I really enjoyed watching this series again.

I personally love rewatching stuff (especially shows I like) because I always notice new things. Also, my memory (which has been fucked for the past 3-4 years, lol) needs it because I tend to forget stuff between episodes if I have to wait a whole week for new ones.

Anyway...

I binged To Be Continued over two days this week and noticed how Achi brought some of his and Ji's past moments into the present. Perhaps to show he still remembered their past and that it was important to him. Perhaps to bring Ji back to those memories and feelings so that he too would remember/feel those feelings again. Perhaps to use it as a confession of his feelings for Ji. Or for all those reasons.

Whatever his reasons, let's look at the moments where Achi brought their past into the present...

(The present moments show up first in some of my examples because that's how they showed up in the series, and I left them like that in my post.)

The lip balm:

(Past)

It started out in quite an innocent way when Achi offered Ji some lip balm (the first picture). Ji took it one step further later on, though, by putting some on his own lips before he put it on Achi's lips.

What a sweet way to (indirectly) kiss someone you like. Also, it was a bold move of Ji, to put it on Achi's lips himself. If that wasn't a way to show his interest in Achi, I don't know what was.

And then (in between those flashbacks from the past) Achi tries to bring back those moments in the present:

(Present)

The kiss:

(Present - Past)

Their first kiss in the present is a forceful one from Achi, either to bring back the memory of the kiss from their past (the first and last one they shared 10 years ago), or to cross this line of intimacy that they hesitated to do throughout their first time having sex (they often avoided kissing each other's lips and only shared this one kiss throughout that whole scene).

Stay with me:

(Present - Past)

Present Achi is holding onto Ji and using the same words Ji did in the past. Since Ji (in the past) held onto Achi and used those words, Achi (in the present) knew that Ji would stay with him if he asked this way.

Achi picking up Ji:

(Present - Past)

Granted, Achi picked Ji up at the hospital in the present because Ji left his car with Achi when Ji had to run to help with an emergency at the hospital. But, still. And it brought back the memory of Achi picking Ji up to go to school when they were younger.

Praising each other's beauty: (understandable, lol)

(Present)

(Past)

Achi is replaying Ji's words from the past, like a confession of his feelings for Ji (the way Ji confessed to him in the past).

In the present, this leads to a kiss (not the kind of kiss Achi forced on Ji previously) but Ji stops before he falls in too deep again (knowing very well that they haven't really solved any of the misunderstandings from the past).

Bonus parallel:

I also had to add this parallel between the past and present even though it isn't really a moment they shared together like the others. But it still holds some significance since Ji knew what that drink meant and it made a certain lie all the more believable:

(Past)

Ji went to Achi's house after their moment on the pier/jetty and brought a red drink (most likely to check in on Achi after what happened that night on the pier/jetty, even though we never actually got to see this).

(Present)

We also got to see Achi drinking that same kind of red drink while preparing food for Ji. This scene also initiated the montage of Achi giving Ji food and both of them writing notes to each other, which developed their relationship in the present.

(Present)

Ji knew all along that this drink was Achi's favorite, which made this lie...

(Past)

All the more believable in Ji's eyes. The pain...

I love it when shows use parallels, especially when done well and with purpose. In the case of To Be Continued, it enriched the story and Achi and Ji's relationship from the past to the present, from misunderstandings to communication, from heartbreak to a second chance.

My beloved miscommunicating idiots were always so obvious with their feelings. Well, maybe not so much to themselves or each other, lol.

[simmerdowndee]

WINDENBURG YEARS S2EP2: WHAT/IF?

Laura is here visiting, and she’s helping me maintain the blonde since I committed to it. I’ll only be able to keep it completely blonde for so long before I am too pregnant to keep up with it.

Laura: How’s my baby?

Dakota: I’m fine. A little tired.

Laura: I’m referring to the baby, baby.

Feels like everyone just said fuck me essentially.

Dakota: Oh, right.

Dakota: Good. I'm almost 16 weeks. Theo are I are excited to find out the gender, but we want to do a gender reveal with everyone in a few weeks.

Laura: You know I’ll be here for it. Now, how is the love of my life?

Oh, good save.

Dakota: I am exhausted most of the day. Theo has been taking on more housework than normal and I kind of feel bad, but he seems to be okay with it. He’s so ready to be a dad. I keep telling him he has some time.

Laura: You guys are so precious. High school sweethearts, married with a baby on the way.

Dakota: Yeah, I love it. Almost didn’t have this...

Laura: You know I often think about what would have happened…

Dakota: What do you mean?

Laura: Like what would have happened if Noah never called Theo.

Dakota: You know, I’m not sure…. What would have happened…...

It’s finally my senior year, and I am so over college. I am ready to graduate and move on with life. Just to give you an update on the last 4 months… After we all got back from Tomarang, Noah and I talked and got back together. I decided I couldn’t keep holding on to Theo. He clearly has no interest in being with me, so I am not going to wait for him. I have to move on, and I want to try again with Noah. I do love him; he is literally my best friend. As for Theo, he came back to Foxbury a few weeks ago. I don’t really see him often, but sometimes he’ll pop up on campus and we’ll say hi in passing. Sometimes have small, and I mean very small conversations. It seems like he wants to be friends but it’s kinda hard to get back to that type of relationship when you left the one, we had turbulent. We barely spoke to each other while he was gone. You come back and you expect to just be best buds? Not likely hun. Speak of the devil, I see him over at a bookshelf here at the commons. He seems to be making his way over here…

Theo: Hey, Dakota. How’s it going?

Dakota: Hey Theo, Good. A calm start to senior year.

Dakota: How’s Foxbury?

Theo: I’m happy to be back. I missed being on campus with everyone.

Dakota: You cut your hair. It looks really good.

Fuck, that sounds too friendly….

Theo: Thank you. You really like it?

Dakota: Yeah, it looks really nice. Something new.

There’s silence for about 30 seconds..

Theo: Hey, did you see that College Cram has a sequel coming out this weekend?

Dakota: I did. I wanted to go but Noah is meeting with his econ club, and I didn’t want to go alone.

Theo: I’ll… go with you… if you don’t want to go alone.

Dakota: Uh… sure. I guess we can go together.

Dakota, what the fuck are you doing?

Theo: Noah won’t mind us hanging out right?

Dakota: I don’t think so. I mean he doesn’t control what I do.

Theo: Okay, good. I'll pick you up at 7:30. It starts at 8:10.

Dakota: Okay, I’ll be ready.

Theo: See you this weekend!

Dakota: Mhm.

Why did I agree to this. I haven’t been alone with this man in over a year. He looks so excited. I feel like I’m going to regret this…..

[martinesabroad]

Ryman: First Week at International School

Hello. A couple of days ago, I finished my first week of school. It was okay. I made maybe two friends. I'm not too close with them yet, but we hang out and talk a little bit. One of them is named , Niko for short. He's from Poland and really likes soccer. The other one is named Lewis. He's from Australia and has a really cool, funny accent. He likes to draw and is really chill.

I like school because it's a lot more free than elementary school. It's kind of like every man for themselves. If you're late to class, it's completely your fault. You don't have a teacher that leads you along in a line. You just walk around with your backpack. It's kind of just on you, more freedom, you know?

One thing that's annoying about my school is that it ends really late, like 5 p.m. But, it starts at 9, which is an upgrade from my old school back in Croatia. That one started at 8 and ended at 3:15. This one starts at 9 and ends at 4:50 for my class, and 4:40 for my brother's. It's a little bit annoying, but I'll get through it.

Oh yeah, I also made a friend named Mark. His family moved from Ukraine when the war started in February 2022. He's completely Ukrainian and doesn't speak great English. I'm about to play a game with him in a couple minutes. He's really nice. It's crazy to think about how he just left his home when the war started.

I have about seven periods, all the normal classes. We have a lesson called business this year. It's about marketing and how people sell businesses. It's pretty fun. It's one of the new classes that I've never had before. Then, there's an elective subject where you can choose from a bunch of activities. Every teacher has a subject that you can do on these elective subject days. You just have to select two that you want, your first choice and your second choice. I chose cooking and geography.

The food at the school is okay. My old school back in Croatia had better food, but it's not too bad for school food. A lot of the teachers at my school are from Britain or Ireland because it is a British international school. My class is mostly Spanish kids. I'd say 45% are Spanish, 30% Ukrainian, 10% Russian, and the others are from all around, like American, Asian, Canada. We have a lot of different nationalities in our class which is really cool.

A lot of kids at my school are really into soccer. They all have really good skills. It's a big thing here in Spain, especially since they've got Barcelona and Madrid. Everybody in my class, including all the girls and boys, are really good at soccer. They've all got really good skills. Sometimes we play as a class, a big class game. We have recess on the roof, which sounds weird, but on the roof there's a soccer field, well not a field but a court, futsal court, but outside. There's also a basketball court and some turf where you can hang out. It's really cool up there.

I've got three language classes: German, Spanish, and French. I'm really trying to focus on Spanish right now because my mom is learning Spanish through classes. Our whole family is trying to learn Spanish because we live in Valencia, Spain. I'm progressing a lot. A week ago, I didn't really know much Spanish at all.

Now I'm starting to learn. I know colors, numbers up to 15 or 20. I know how to introduce myself and maybe order at a restaurant. I'm getting there and I think I'm doing really well.

I kind of knew French from last year because I did French all year. In Croatia, you could choose German or French. My mom chose French and I wanted to do French too, just because it's a more fun language to learn. So, I'm doing good at French.

Then there's German, of which I know literally none because I've only had two classes. But it seems pretty cool and I'm excited to learn more.

-Ryman

[merlyn-bane]

15 People, 15 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @lttrsfrmlnrrgby!

1. Are you named after anyone? Do fictional people count? My mom named me after the little girl in a weird old movie she really likes. I'm pretty sure she gets kidnapped?? Idk. But I was a much less sweet and pleasant child than the one she named me after.

2. When was the last time you cried? Uh idk, maybe last week?? My sense of time is Fucked but @foreverchangingfandomsao3 got me with one of their whumptober prompts. I also got, like, weirdly strongly homesick a few weeks ago out of nowhere when a song came on that reminded me of my mom and I was already extremely emotionally exhausted so it kind of just sent me over.

3. Do you have kids? Absolutely not. I have a dog and two cats and they are more than close enough for me.

4. What sports do you play/have played? I wasn't awful the few times we played volleyball in gym class but I am a very far thing from a jock. I did do a season of color guard though

5. Do you use sarcasm? It's basically a second language in my family. I don't think I use it quite as much as I used to, though. Mostly it's my facial expressions that get me in trouble now.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? I don't know. Tone, maybe?? If someone seems rude or like otherwise disinterested in having a productive interaction I tend to disengage really quickly.

7. What’s your eye color? Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings. Media is, for me, first and foremost about escapism. I also like being able to sleep at night and already have issues with anxiety and hypervigilance.

9. Any talents? If you give me like 20-30 minutes and resources (manuals, youtube, etc) I can figure out how to do most things with my hands--which is how I've ended up with so many goddamn hobbies. I've done most of the work on my house myself, though, to include the kitchen backsplash. I can also make very cute robot lamps that have functioning outlets!

10. Where were you born? Coastal North Carolina

11. What are your hobbies? Writing, reading, digital art, painting, crocheting, knitting, cross stitch, home improvement. Probably some more things not coming to me right now. Making shit, basically. I have had to be all but physically restrained for like a year to keep me from playing with stained glass next. I'm autistic and I cannot be stopped. If I'm left unattended long enough I'll probably pick up another one.

12. Do you have any pets? I have a pittie/dogo argentino (mastiff) mix named Ziggy Stardust, a calico pain in my ass (cat) named Princess Jellybean of Doom (often shortened to Jellybean, or JB, or Brat), and a massive black and white cat named Captain Ravioli. A black cat and another 'dog' also live here courtesy of my roommates.

13. How tall are you? 5'3". 5'4" on a good day with a kind measure.

14. Favorite subject in school? I loved the sciences and English courses. I love history too but I didn't like it as a class in school because of the whole growing up in rural North Carolina thing.

15. Dream job? Recently, the only thing I have wanted is to be paid to make shit in a sunlit studio all day. I am exhausted with the concept of 'job'. Paleontology would be sick though.

I think I'm going to do open tags, to be honest, because my brain is not firing on enough cylinders right now. Play if you want!:)

[purplesurveys]

1687

Have you ever seen a fox in person? I have not.

Would you say you have a quiet mind or do you have a lot of thoughts? I dunno how to answer this...I feel like it’s always either one or the other. My mind can definitely race, but I can zone out quite often, too. I guess it depends on my disposition for the day. Heavier anxiety = busier thoughts.

When did you last do something brave? Earlier, I guess? I’m in Malaysia right now and I tried to venture out earlier all alone beyond the mall that we’ve been visiting the past two days...and doing that felt pretty brave. I circled back though once I realized there was nothing to discover anyway.

Have you ever seen a magician? Well, yes. Idk about other cultures but booking magicians is common in children’s birthday parties here, so I’ve seen my fair share of them.

What's something you remember from your childhood that you wish you could experience again? Falling asleep on any non-bed surface and being carried to your actual bed.

Do you believe in karma? Why or why not? I mean I don’t have a strong, spiritual dependency on it, but it’s always nice when people get their ass bitten back after they’ve been a horrible person.

Do you have a tiktok account? I do, but I rarely go on TikTok. Too Gen Z for my taste and I only keep the app for work purposes.

Do you prefer the scent or color of lavender? Scent.

Would you rather live in a castle or a cottage? I would pick the castle. I feel like previous versions of me would prefer the quietness of a cottage, but at this point in my life I feel like the silence would drive me crazy within the days.

What type of music do you listen to the least and why? Country and techno, if anything. They’re just not my type of music, especially country.

When did you last visit a library? I’m not sure. I was definitely in school, and it was before the pandemic...so anywhere around 2019 to super early 2020.

What's one of your favorite memories from staying up late? When I was active in the wrestling fandom 10 years ago, EVERYBOdy else was either from the US or UK; this meant I was the one who had to adjust for the most part to be able to keep up with the community and with news. That also meant stocking up and chugging cups of coffee from 10-11 PM to be able to be awake for my friends through the night...it was always worth it though. I was able to find an amazing group of friends at the time who waited til I got home from school (the same way I’d stay up for them) until the wrestlers that we stanned resigned/left WWE and we all kind of grew apart from there.

Have or would you ever wear a necklace with someone's initial on it? I don’t think I have, but it’s something I’m willing to do. Initials to me aren’t as bad as, like, a full name or self-portrait.

What last made you laugh out loud? I’m watching Run BTS while taking this.

Do you usually keep water by your bedside at night? I used to, but I grew out of the habit.

What's an interesting fact about yourself? I have not seen most Disney movies. Like I’m pretty sure the entirety of my Disney watch history has only been Pixar films; most else I haven’t seen.

What did you last heat up in a microwave? Some cheesy chicken dish my dad made a couple of weeks ago.

Would you consider yourself lucky? In very few aspects. It’s rarely a word I would use to describe my experiences. What kind of pizza did you eat last? The iconic cheese pizza from Habanero, which was worth every single hype post I ever saw talk about it. I still dream about that damned pizza to this day.

What kind of shampoo do you use? I use Dove usually, but currently I have a Palmolive bottle just because they have a BT21 collaboration and I wanted to try it hahahaha.

How many blue objects are in the room you're in? My luggage is blue.

Would you rather visit an art museum or an aquarium? Museum.

Do you prefer sweeter cereal over unsweetened? Sweeter.

If you could build a 5 artist/band lineup to your dream music festival.. which ones would you choose? BTS, Twice, Seventeen, Lee Youngji, Epik High. What's a habit you have broken or are currently trying to break? I’ve been trying not to stay up until 2-3 AM before a workday.

Have you ever volunteered at an animal shelter? I haven’t but that’s been on my mind for years now. I’ve just been too busy... :( Is there anything currently bothering you? Yeah...I’ve been on leave for like virtually two weeks now, and the amount of workload I’ve been leaving behind is stressful. This is on top of the fact that I have a new associate under me who’s been pretty clueless about what to do, so I’ve had to take portions of my leave to walk her hand through certain tasks; and then there’s also the anxiety of not being sure if she’s able to do the job right. Idk. It sucks. I’m in a sucky place mental-wise. I am extremely grateful for this leave and the two vacations I have taken (my first in seven years), but I also can’t wait for it to be OVER so I can finally be back on track and get rid of that exhausting catching-up feeling. How many stuffed animals do you have on your bed? Do the BT21 ones count as stuffed animals? I’ve got two - one Tata, one Koya.

How much is too much to spend on a pair of shoes? I would probably stop at anywhere over ₱30,000.

What's the strangest thing that you've ever seen someone collect? There are stranger collections I’m sure, but my mom likes to collect tissue papers from different establishments. They’re all unused ok so she’s not gross HAHA, but I think it’s both unique and endearing that she keeps a stash of tissues from like McDonald’s and Jollibee and Shakey’s and where-fucking-ever in the car.

Have you recently been to a concert? ARE YOU KIDDING. I went to see AGUST FUCKING D last Sunday in Bangkok. Bit of a nosebleed seat, but I COULD NOT CARE LESS. I was with Yoongi that night; and it was the one promise I made myself when I decided not to go the unaliving route when I discovered BTS two years ago. I sang and screamed and cheered like my life depended on it and between you and me I still feel like floating on air; I can’t believe my friends and I managed to make it happen.

Who did you last have a phone conversation with? Idk I don’t talk on the phone a lot.

What's the most dominant personality trait you have? I am sensitive.

Do you ever watch sports? Eh, just wrestling.

What's had the biggest impact on your day? The dude who hit on me while I was sitting at the park. That was a nice ego boost because nobody ever approaches me back in the Philippines LOL, but I wish it didn’t happen while I genuinely wanted to be alone. We don’t have any parks in the Philippines so I was Actually savoring my time there, so to that guy I shot down in record time, I’m sorry. Thank you for being nice about it though.

What's your least favorite cheese? I don’t think I’ve ever found a least favorite cheese. What did you last have as a snack? Some 7-Eleven sushi.

What's your favorite decoration in your place of residence? It’s more than just decoration, but seeing Kimi’s memorial box in the living room makes me smile every single day. I like that we have a way to keep him around.

Would you rather read a book or watch a movie? I’d pick the movie mostly because I am a lot pickier with books.

What's your plans for the upcoming week? Finish out my vacation here in Malaysia, then catch up on work starting Wednesday.

When did you last feel rushed? Last Sunday, after the concert. Bangkok concert culture is a bit different from Manila’s and security will clear out the inside and outside of the arena *as soon* as the artist walks off, so after Yoongi left the stage everything was pretty much a blur. We were being asked to leave every 10 seconds even though we were clearly rushing out, lol.

What was the last thing to scare you? I felt like some guy was following me earlier back at the mall, so I felt off and walked as briskly as I can.

Have you drank enough water today? Eh, probably not.

What's your top 3 favorite fruits? Avocado, and that’s it really.

What season do you think is the most comfortable? Neither.

What lie do you say the most? That I’m doing fine. It’s also the safest lie to go with so it’s whatever.

What website do you frequent often besides Bzoink? Twitter, YouTube, Facebook.

Do you have anything due soon? Nopes.

What did you last consume that you thought was nasty? I haven’t had anything bad in a while, actually!

What's a song you feel describes your mood most right now? Hectic by RM and Colde.