#i put way too much thought into this and im probably already attached lol

[puppyeared]

hello every nyan

fan character for Laika's Comet, by @catmask (go check it out!!)

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

When I first read this my first thought was, "Nooooooooo Chip you don't have to you can stay with Sonado- I mean Sonic and Shadow-" But then I stopped to think about things and honestly? This is probably one of Chip's smartest decisions yet.

Chip, as of right now, hasn't really provided too much to his new group of friends other than being like a little angel on their shoulders to encourage them. Chip doesn't see his efforts as very beneficial to Sonic and Shadow, and their growing bond is accidentally tearing him apart from the two. He's slowly but surely losing his sense of meaning, losing his determination and hope.

TL;DR, Chip feels left out and doesn't feel like he's providing enough overall.

However, Chip is recognizing that with the others, he feels a lot more happy and a lot more helpful. He has much more determination at the thought of joining Tails and Knuckles on their journey to wherever, (I forgot what they're doing and I don't have time to go back and check) and he knows this. Chip recognizes that he isn't as needed with Sonic and Shadow anymore, and if you combine that with the fact that he just got reprimanded by Shadow for the very first time, well... He would just like to get along with the others for now.

While this is a relatively disappointing revelation for Sonic and Shadow, since we know it was never their intention to hurt Chip and make him feel this way, it's a smart decision overall and we should be happy for Chip for making this choice. It's surprisingly mature for someone who just started his physical existence like a week or two ago.

I do feel really bad or double S though because I can only imagine how guilty they must feel about this situation. Sonic especially! Poor guy's already got enough going on and now his adorable travel buddy is ditching him.

Speaking of Sonic, one thing I noticed is that one panel where it shows the bottom of his new shoes. The long, yellow spikes represent Sonic's current physical and emotional state. Sonic feels ugly, both inside and out, due to his constant Werehog state that he turns into at nighttime. He doesn't feel right, like something is tearing him apart bit by bit until he inevitably suffocates and dies. This feeling is represented in the sharpness and ugliness of the spikes, if it's not just the fact that they are spikes in general. Because spikes, as we know in Sonic games, aren't really insta-kills, but they hurt like hell! In a more realistic setting like this one where taking damage is the equivalent to getting realistically injured, (lol I said realistic twice) spikes obviously hurt way more than they do in-game. This panel shows that Sonic is in pain internally due to the amount of spikes, and this allegory is amplified with the look and feel of them. It doesn't help that they are a part of Sonic now, being attached to his shoes and all. This also represents the way that these spikes, or this undeniable ugliness that Sonic feels, is a part of him now. At least until he takes the shoes off, which will likely be after the whole Dark Gaia situation, in which he may put his normal shoes back on.

TL;DR (again) there is a ton of symbolism in just one panel that shows the bottom of Sonic's shoes and I spend way too much time analyzing it all.

There's so much more I wanna talk about with just this panel alone but this is getting really long and I am in the MIDDLE OF CLASS so I should probably continue this later. Thanks for reading and I really like your comic! (Can you tell)

I THOUGHT I REPLIED TO THIS OH MY GOD

PLEASE KNOW THAT I READ THIS BACK THEN AND I READ IT AGAIN AND IT MAKES ME VERY HAPY AND IM SUPER INTERESTED IN HEARING ALL UR OTHER THEORIES IN THE FUTURE AS WELL

[hwaitham]

omgie coco i just had the biggest brainrot over siren awea x pirate captain diluc n now i need to hear about what haico mermaid au would be like !! what colour would your mermaid tail be?! ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა

omgosh AWEA ! ! i will be in ur inbox supes shortly to bug u more about awealuc mermaid au bcos i Wub d idea of u as a siren n diluc as a pirate ! :D is he swayed easily by ur singing when he first hears it . . are you two afraid of each other ?? curious , maybe ? 🥺 so many questions WAAAAH wait for mi in ur inbox fwiend ! !

i hv honestly never given any thought to a haico mermaid au but now that i imagine it in m head — it cld be so fun n sweet ! ‎٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و  i imagine mi as da mermaid here n haithie as a marine biologist . as for how we'd meet ?? mmm i cn see m'self getting hurt , from a shark attack or gash wounds frm getting caught in nets , n wash up ashore not too far from his house ( a cozy lil shack by da beach :3 ) . he'd catch sight of me when he goes out early in the morning for a surf n finds me passed out n bleeding over the sand . . . i probably wouldn't end up waking up until Hours later , a great deal of time after he's finished patching me up

when i dooo wake up , im mostly curious n excited over anything else ! ! :D i dont think i'd be the type to be afraid of humans if i were a mermaid — the inherent need to explore n learn about everything i dont know runs through m veins in every au in every lifetime lulz . it's vrie quiet between us at first , no words exchanged or anything . jus' soft inquisitive gazes n gentle smiles n me watching him scribble doodles of m tail + notes into his diary ♡

i dont think he expects me to grow attached to him but . . i vrie much do >< when it's sun down he tries to get me to go back to the sea but i kinda jus . . . stay sitting there by his feet . . flapping m tail n making a scene of petulance when he gets up to go back home LOL uhmm . . n i fink that is where our friendship starts ! he gets to study me in return for his companionship which i so desperately crave after living a life by myself :3 there's a small cove by his shack so after a few weeks of knowing each other , he moves me to it n that way we are more accessible to each other ! ! yaaay :D ! !

he teaches me about his world ( + also teaches me english ehe ) n i teach him about my world n over time . . . our feelings grow into something beyond friendship n n n ! ! i think we slip into a romantic relationship rather easily after that :3 al haitham is just That kind of guy to mi ! ! like if u're fwiends w him it is so easy to fall in luvf ( boff' ways . . ) bcos he already favours you n . it saves him so much time n energy to simply go from friends -> lovers

i hope t's okies i put a mini messy moodboard here . . ໒꒰ྀི⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝꒱ྀི১ m tail i fink would be like an opalescent pink — jus like the pics here ! ! the tail's end wld be super chiffony n flowy sorta like da tail of a betta fish hehe ( the top left photo ) :D

[claudiajcregg]

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

[neytirisblog]

hi i have an angst anakin skywalker/darth vader request! so like ani has been having weird and concerning visions about reader and that's his reason for falling to the dark side but just before order 66 reader and ani have a huge arguement which makes reader leave the order and loose contact with ani. few years later vader has an intense and prolonged vision of reader but after trying to find reader he realises its way too late and looses reader forever. its kinda long lol im sorry i just got inspo anyways hope u have a great day/night! 💖

Give you up

| Pairings: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Padawan!Reader

| Warnings: Slight fluff? Angst, no happy ending :)

| Summary: Anakin was having nightmares again, just as he was with his mother but in the end he had to let you go

A/N: I literally had so much motivation for this it’s insane . This is probably the longest fic I’ve ever wrote. Anakin requests are open!!

“ Anakin, please. We can run away together, make things the way we want them to be. " You cried out to him, tears rolling down your cheeks.

His hand went to your face, cupping your cheek, “ Can’t you see, my dear? Take my hand and you and I can rule the galaxy together. "

You sobbed and shook your head, “ I can’t, Ani. Don’t do this, your a good person! Don’t throw your life away."

His eyes darkened at your words, anger filling his body. How could you say that? After everything he’s done for you. How could you be so selfish and decline his offer?

“ I see. " Anakin hummed, towering over you, he lifted your chin up towards him and lent in slowly- his mouth reaching yours and he kissed you as if it were the last time.

You kissed each other with such passion but then you heard the sound, a sound you dreaded. The sound of a lightsaber igniting.

Pain. That’s all he knew you felt. He pulled away and you fell to the floor, your eyebrows were furrowed and you looked at him which such pain.

A flash of regret suddenly went through Anakin. What has he done? He wanted to stop himself but anger and hate consumed his body.

“ No! " Anakin yelled, falling to his knees, “ What have I done? " He cried, putting your head on his lap as your eyes slowly began to close.

“ No, no, no! " He sobbed, “ Stay with me, please, what have I become? " He ran his hand through your hair as your breathing became low.

“ I love y-you. " you spoke, your voice so low Anakin could barley hear you. One single tear rolled down your cheek as you closed your eyes and your breathing came to a halt.

Anakin shot up in bed, sweat dripping down his forehead- his breathing intense, tears streamed down his face as he looked around the room.

He looked next to him and there you were, fast asleep. He wiped his tear and let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in.

He’s been having nightmares, awful nightmares. He hasn’t had any bad nightmares since his mothers death, well since he dreamt of her dying.

Such as this dream was of you, Jedi weren’t allowed to have any attachments- especially since you were his Padawan.

You were only a few years younger than Anakin, him being twenty-four, you had just turned nineteen.

You both knew that it was extremely wrong but still fell deeply in love with each other. You and Anakin kept it a secret for a very long time.

But maybe doing that was already both of yours and anakins downfall?

Anakin sighed and pulled the covers of his sweating body, what was that nightmare? He only thought of the worse.

He walked outside to the balcony and thoughts consumed his mind- he saw his mothers death and it came true, were you going to die soon? how could he prevent it from happening.

A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched, turning around to see you standing behind him- he was so deep in thought he didn’t even feel you behind him.

“ What’s troubling you, Ani? " You questioned, your eyes filled with such worry, how could he tell you?

“ I- nothing. " He spoke, looking down at the floor, he was going to tell you, to tell you the truth but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“ When are we going to be honest with each other? I love you and something is obviously wrong with you. " You spoke, worry evident in your voice as you tried to make him look at you.

“ Anakin, please. " You spoke, his eyes widened back to the dream and his breath hitched, it felt like his throat was tightening and no words were coming out.

He began panicking- tears forming in his eyes, your eyes widened and he fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around your waist and began sobbing.

“ Hey- hey, follow my breathing, okay? Breath in, breathe out, you are okay, I’m right here with you. "

You fell to your knees with him, his sobs subsiding, you held his face and wiped away stray tears.

“ Do you wanna talk about it, hm? " You questioned, pressing soft kisses to his forehead.

Anakin slowly nodded his head and you both stood up going back inside. You sat on the bed and Anakin followed.

“ I had a nightmare- like the one with my mother.. except it was with you and I- " He spoke but was cut off by a sob.

“ Hey, hey, hey, it’s fine- you don’t have to tell me right away. " You spoke softly, wiping his tear away with your thumb.

“ I killed you. " Anakin spoke, making you freeze, “ I tried- I tried to stop myself but I was so angry. "

“ It’s okay, it’s okay, it won’t happen, Ani, I promise you. " You spoke, Anakin shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.

“ What? " You questioned, he looked at you, " I will never ever hurt you, I love you so much. I can’t even live without you. " He spoke, putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

You smiled and he leaned in, kissing you softly. You pulled away and spoke, " I know and I love you, so so so much "

***

Slowly as everyday past Anakin became more strange, he had the same dream every single night and would wake up in a sweat every night.

You didn’t want to admit to Anakin but you were scared, really scared. I mean hearing your boyfriend whom you love was going to kill you?

You wanted to believe it wasn’t true but deep down you knew, you knew the truth.

You had a day off, no missions and no training, you and Anakin had fought a few minutes before- a bad fight.

“ He is putting lies in your head, Anakin! Why am I the only one who sees that? " You yelled, Anakins eyes darkened and he shook his head.

“ No! Why are you being like this? He’s opening my eyes- the truth of the Jedi, they are evil. " Anakin spoke, he didn’t sound like your Anakin. Your eyes widened in disbelief and you scoffed.

“ This is exactly what Im saying! Anakij, he’s lying to you!! " You yelled, Anakin scoffed as well.

“ Liar! He’s showing me, showing me how to save you! I’m doing this for you." He yelled, you rolled your eyes and went to the exit but before you could do that- you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe.

“ A-ani, please." You rasped, he stood in front of you his hand out, he was killing you. His eyes searched yours and then he gasped, dropping you, he stood there frozen.

You fell to the floor and crawled away from him as fast as possible, sobs and tears coming from you. You ran out Anakin’s room as fast you could and ran to your quarters. And that’s where you were now- 

you grabbed your bag and you threw as much clothes as you could, so lost in thought and trying to get out you didn’t hear the door open.

“ What are you doing? " They questioned, you turned your head to see your boyfriend standing there, his eyebrows furrowed.

“ Leaving. " You spoke, you voice hallow because of the events that just happened.

“ Leaving where? " Anakin spoke, his tone sharp and he stalked towards you.

“ Leaving you. Leaving the order. I-I can’t do this. " You spoke, zipping up your bag and discarding your lightsaber on the bed.

The bed you and Anakin spent countless nights on.

“ No, please don’t go- I’m sorry- please don’t leave me. " Anakin spoke, his voice shaking, you looked at him tears filling your eyes.

“ Come with me? " You spoke, your voice sounding unsure, should you be doing this?

Anakin shook his head, “ I can’t, it’s all going to be set right soon, you’ll see, we’re going to be together. "

You sighed and walked towards the door, you looked back and saw Anakin grab your lightsaber, he looked at you tears rolling down his cheeks as he spoke,

“ I love you. " You nodded your head and walked out the door, tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Little did you know of all the chaos that would happen as soon as you left.

two years later:

Vader held your lightsaber in his hand, a flash memory came into his brain- it was like the nightmares he was having years ago.

You stood there tears in your eyes as you cried, “ All I want is your love. "

He came back to reality and his grip on your lightsaber tightened. You had disappeared, he tried looking for you but could never feel your force presence.

Then another flash,

“ I love you! I tried to look for you but they said- they said you died during Order 66. " You spoke.

Then another flash,

You laid there in his arms, your eyes shutting, forever.

“ No! " He yelled, the lights flickered and burst, the desk flew to the wall, breaking.

He knew he had to let you go, he didn’t want to but he had to. He knew that if he saw you again his nightmare would come true.

Maybe you met someone else and maybe you were happy, Vader Anakin definitely wasn’t happy but as long as you were happy that’s all that mattered.

That night he cried, he cried because you and him never got your happy ending, you never got your dream wedding.

He knew he had to give you up.

[stinkrascal]

A couple things I was wondering is how did you figure out you had BPD? I know there's a couple disorders that can often get diagnosed beforehand, so I guess how did you know there was more going on? Secondly, what kind of therapy do you feel was the most helpful, if any? I have issues keeping a therapist because they tuxedo mask away after realizing I already have CBT down (which only kind of helps me). Thank you for being open about BPD! I feel like there's so much unnecessary stigma.

hiiiiii!! sorry i didnt reply yesterday i spent all day writing my silly sims stories 😴 i will talk about my experience under the cut!! ty for being curious about it!! <3

umm tbh i was diagnosed in a really weird way lol. so, like, where i went to high school was a really conservative and religious town, and when i was a freshman in high school i was one of the only trans/lgbt kids that was vocally out at my school. there were more of them, my friend group was basically all lgbt ppl, but i was the only person in my school who would demand staff to call me a different name/use different pronouns. but anyways so my lgbt friend group was being bullied pretty badly so our school hired this counselor training in lgbt issues that would talk to us individually about our experiences as lgbt kids who were bullied and such. it was actually really cool you know! but anyways i was one of the students who had to participate in this and the lady who was talking to me realized that i was, like, a really troubled kid lol. and on top of that i was failing all my classes and i had been struggling in school my entire life (like consistently making report cards with at least 5/7 of the classes being failed type of shit) sooooo they basically had this like idk meeting with my parents? where they were super adamant that they take me to a doctor and put me into therapy bc i was struggling really badly and yeah. after that my parents put me into therapy and got in touch w a doctor and i got some treatment and eventually a bpd diagnosis. but yea it only happened cuz of my school forcing them to take me ha.

the truth is i didn't really suspect anything was wrong with me because the way i grew up, i thought everyone acted like me 🤷‍♂️ i think the only time i started really thinking i might have bpd was when i got my first boyfriend at 16, that's when my codependency and attachment issues really started to manifest, and those have always consistently been the bpd symptoms i struggle the most with. but even back then i didn't really know what bpd was, so it wasn't like i was specifically thinking i was suffering w bpd. more so that i knew something was Off about me but i couldn't really explain what it was

unfortunately i haven't gone to therapy in a long time :( and the last time i went it wasn't for bpd treatment at all. so i really can't say what could help you there in terms of therapy. i did group therapy during my bpd treatment but it didn't really help me much.

you're probably not gonna like this answer lmao but i use weed to medicate my intense mood swings and that helps a lot. also just being able to recognize when i need to cool off and being able to use my words to tell ppl that i need to be alone for a minute to clear my head, that helps too. basically just being mindful of ur changing emotions and giving yourself room to feel those emotions and allow them to pass u, without feeling guilt for this, and without projecting those emotions onto other ppl bc at the end of the day it isn't really anyone else's fault that u feel the way you do.

also just try to give ppl the benefit of the doubt in general, ik my bpd makes me SO sensitive like for example. ik we make jokes about this but you guys im not kidding, my favorite mutual reblogging a post from someone else instead of me hurts my feelings so bad some days i have to just log off and go cry about it. CRY ABOUT IT YOU GUYS! it's really awful and totally not grounded in reality 😭 but like it's there, it's something i experience and deal with, and it isn't anyone's fault that it happens, it's just the cards i was dealt with.

so instead of projecting that feeling onto my beloved mutuals and being like Ohhhhh so you actually hate me! You actually want me to kill myself! You've actually never cared about me ever, person I've had two conversations with in total! yeah instead of working myself up for something so silly... i just try to put myself in other ppls shoes, try to remember that when i do things it is not with malicious intent and most people are also not doing things with malicious intent. bc for me, my bpd tends to dehumanize ppl... they arent people with nuance and depth and complex and at times contradictory lives, theyre my Favorite Person, person who does no wrong, person who could never do any wrong no matter how hard they try, and that's dehumanizing, that's unfair to the person!! so by humanizing the other person, by remembering we are all people with rich inner lives and struggles and most of us just want to do our best even when we slip and fall... it helps calm me down from those spirals where im like, ohhhhh god everyone hates me because they didn't reblog a text post from meeeee!!! lol

[planet4546b]

ok this question is completely fucking unhinged so im sorry. but as a funky little thought exercise. what would the general public's reactions be to each of the s/n crew's death? (eg 'they were too young to die' 'what a tragedy' vs. 'i always knew there was something wrong with that kid' vs. 'who the fuck is dumb enough to go bungee jumping in a hurricane'. u get the idea)

oh no this is actually SUCH a fun thought exercise hold on. i love this

the hard thing about sam is that like.....sam doesnt have any friends. she doesnt have any family, she doesnt have any friends, shes straight up Not A Part Of This World and thats in part represented by her having NO connection to it outside of the three little weirdos shes attached herself to, so if she were to die early (haha 'if' lol) she would....not really be missed. which sucks. if she had more people that knew her, the general reaction would be thinking it was tragic, especially because sam is a person that is deeply committed to her ideals and would most likely die For A Cause. mel, em, jackie, indrani, and eric (the very small group of people that know her best) would not at ALL be surprised at sam's early death. the more you get to know her, the more you can tell she's a person that just sort of acts like she knows she's doomed, and she's just waiting to find out what its gonna be that dooms her.

jackie is very very similar in that there's not that many people that know them in this universe, so their death would probably be very quiet and unremarked on, but they're also 2000% more likely to die in some really stupid and silly way that people would be like "someone died...doing what???????? who is stupid enough to do that??????" so hey they would get some infamy at least!! they're also, however, a person thats biggest motivation is fighting tooth and fucking nail to LIVE goddammit, and who has had near death experiences before and gone oh my god i never want to do that again. what. so anyone who knows much about them would probably realize how deeply tragic their death is, especially if silly, especially if sudden. unfortunately, the list of people who actually know this about them has exactly 0 people on it, so. (also, while their family is no longer alive, they have a really large family and if the tables were to be turned and they were to die before the rest of their family, it would be an absolutely devastating loss)

mel is....complicated. directly before the start of s/n (by directly i do mean a few months, travel times on horseback yk) mel has a near death experience because she purposefully gets too close to a quantum anomaly while trying to map it, even though 1. she knows the danger they pose and 2. emily is right behind her telling her to back the fuck off. this event, for some reason, makes her even MORE bold around quantum anomalies, and to an outside observer she is throwing herself into danger nearly constantly, so if she were to die early most people in her life would sort of say "well...it was bound to happen eventually, right?" it's still tragic, absolutely, but there are just as many people who would be ready to use mels death as a cautionary tale about the dangers of quantum anomalies/the world in general as there are people who would consider it an unavoidable tragedy. emily SPECIFICALLY, because she was the only one there when mel almost died the first time and because of other recent deaths in their family, is already trying to come to terms with mel's death, even if it hasn't happened yet. she's mourning her sister while she's still alive. aaaaaand add that one to the list of reasons em and mel deeply resent each other in ways they will never get over woo!!

em is the most straightforward. she has a large social circle and is well loved by her community at home in st. elmos, she is trying exceedingly hard to live a normal life, she doesnt try to put herself in dangerous situations (outside the inherent risks of being a cartographer, which is a job with a pretty high mortality rate) - not to say that like, this inherently makes her death more tragic than the others, just that that's how it would be percieved. you know. people who know her distantly and close friends would all consider it a huge tragedy, that she was too young to die, etc etc. man in the alternate universe where em and mel would die at the same time that sure would suck huh.

anyways this is a story that is very very much about death and grief (i never said i was subtle lol) so this was a GREAT thought exercise and very fun. ahaha wonder which ones of these are gonna be relevant. lol.

[tasteforrot]

Everything Is Dumb Now

everything seems dumb now

or the problems before tuesday

or my problems before tuesday

or the problems i focused on before tuesday

idk if theyre really dumb

but probably

does he like me will it work

venus in pisces taurus sun with a cancer ascendent

moon in leo

idk why liking someone is so terrifying to me

my shrink asked me why having basic needs met seems so impossible

or.

idk

the moon was in aquarius on tuesday i think

or i remember reading “let us hope this is a good omen”

(probably chani nicholas)

for two months i refreshed nine horoscope sites daily asking the internet

what would happen

i saw something this week

about the election coverage was too… like

focusing more on what will happen in november

not what was happening at the time

what will happen vs what is happening

what do we know

idk

this past month i began calling more feelings “pain”

laying in bed thinking “i’m in so much pain lol”

um

have you ever read the attachment theory wikipedia?

i’m sure there are better sources but the wikipedia is really convenient

there are four styles.

and this one style, “disorganized” is like

something like:

the way you’re greeted when you enter a room

and the way you’re treated

was never constant so u never like,

never know when the other shoe will drop

who will abandon when

or u’ll wild out bc like, idk.

the others are what they sound like

secure attachment style is what it sounds like

ppl with disorganized attachment ruin things, sabotage things

bc what’s the point if it’s already. idk

wednesday morning

when i told my therapist i watched someone die, she said

“oh, fuck talking about the election”

but like nah

we talked about the election

and the two guys i saw wearing those red hats

the first time ive seen them irl

first thing in the morning

on my walk up tenth avenue

i almost threw up

and threw myself on them but didnt

but i did also tell her i didn’t feel anything watching him die,

or i didn’t know what i felt or if i was feeling.

i watched him become president from my bed

scared of feeling anything except the most reality as possible

a few hours before,

i watched him make a noise and then he stopped breathing

and then a nurse hit his chest and said, “he’s just sleeping”

(he wasn’t)

she said he had a pulse, he’s fine

(he wasn’t)

it took the supervisor twenty-five minutes to show up

hospice care in a nursing home isn’t a hospital

the way she said it’s about making him comfortable

the way:

there are things that are supposed to happen

people asked if i was ok

my boss hugged me

idk if it was the death or the election

or what i’ve been saying online that has ppl msging me lately

telling me they hope im ok soon

waking up is harder now

it never really was before

i learned to like mornings in college

they felt more hopeful

opportunity, routine, etc

my shrink also told me to read online

specifically disorganized attachment

but that for some reason

and who knows

it’s not all I have. that i can do and do make secure bonds

there’s some secure attachment

something like hope?

idk

she said: attachments just are

you can’t force them

an attachment is

when i told my shrink about his last breath she said something like:

isn’t that all we have, a breath

and then we take another

and keep going

that’s the only difference

other times i’ve watched people die

(and never the act)

there was the clear moment between when they were gone

(when they started taking pain meds)

not their body but themselves

“the priority is comfort”

i only realized today that i don’t know whether or not he was in pain

just that when i got to his room, alone

i’ve never seen anyone like that

i thought he was going to die right then

with me alone

so i grabbed his hand, which was blue

and trying to take off his oxygen mask

i’ve been hearing the term “oxygen mask” a lot more

put on your oxygen mask before you help others

everyone says get out of ur internet bubble

lol

i mean, i agree

i guess

but i live alone

work online

my family is three white men

(it used to be more)

who asked me why i didn’t tell them about my sexual assaults sooner

(i had)

but i guess they forgot

or it doesnt matter? idk

i dont want to have to see them today

or tomorrow

but their dad only dies once

only died once

idk

before tuesday i’d get drunk

get stoned

wake up

apologize

idk

ever since tuesday the idea of feeling anything the most amount of

pain feels wrong

not pain for pain’s sake

but anesthetizing any of the reality

of what is and is about to happen

idk

isn’t there something about how pain is a great motivator

or isnt there that susan sontag thing about not believing someone else is in

pain?

is that the thing

or how people with that disease that makes them not feel pain are fucked

i can’t believe the pain i cause by trying to avoid pain

(myself + others)

getting out of bed isn’t a problem

or wasn’t before tuesday

(now it is)

i’m right by a window and it’s cold

and i just remember it’s real

and i’m where i was where i watched him become president

but

i like routine and waking up and drinking coffee

more so i feel it around 3pm or 5pm or 8pm or 11pm

what’s the fucking point

i don’t feel that way anymore

my anxiety’s been down since all my worst fears came true

i’m not as worried for now as i am a year from now

a year and three months

momentum, etc

it’s been clearer who’s trying to lessen suffering and who’s trying to clear

their name

i’ve been trying to take up less space

or occupy space in a different way

or, idk.

it’s easier to tell ppl i love them

u dont need a reason anymore

or maybe the reason is just more obvious

it’s too much noise n it’s not enough

im getting msgs from ppl telling me to stockpile birth control

but my body rejects most types of birth control

and i haven’t found one that works yet

so like

idk

hasnt loving and fucking always been terrifying

[haik-choo]

karasuno boys as boyfriends

a/n: im just basically astral projecting myself into these situations; ALSO if you want more detailed ones, just ask, and you shall receive! (also this is my first post i’ve written on here! but if you want plenty of kpop content i’m @hyucksong where i’ve been writing and I am still active! :))

---

[KARASUNO BOYS AS BOYFRIENDS HEADCANNONS]

-tsukishima, yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama, tanaka, nishinoya, sugawara, daichi, and asahi

---

tsukishima kei.

the type to look you straight in your eyes when you ask for a hug and say “no, who do you think i am, your boyfriend?”

runs his hands through your hair from the front and then when his hand reaches the back of your head he pulls you into him and kisses you either on the forehead or the lips <3

in order to be in a relationship with him you HAVE to have the same type of humor.

i don’t think he could date someone who doesn’t make fun of people with him

you guys are like best friends who make fun of each other and. make out a little every once in a while

he’ll hold your hand and hug you in public but he will NEVER do anything else, especially not in front of the boys

he thinks the blush that ignites on your kissable cheeks should be for his eyes only

he gave you a keychain that had a cute little strawberry shortcake on it. and it’s your most prized possession 

will shoot a glare at anyone who watches you too closely. like no. don’t get googly eyed over MY girlfriend. 

and you don’t have a problem with that ;) 

yamaguchi tadashi.

he likes to watch you when you’re not looking to pick out the little habits you do

he thinks that knowing someone’s little hardly noticeable habits is one of the most intimate things on mother earth

he knows that you stir the milk in the bowl three times before you pour the cereal in to check for chunks because you accidentally drank spoiled milk when you were younger

NEVER has an issue getting you a gift for any occasion. he ALWAYS knows what you’re looking at and what you want and you lowkey think he can read your mind but in reality he just pays attention <3

you’re either just as shy as him to bring out his more assertive side or more assertive than he is to bring out his more timid side -- both are good

kisses you on the forehead and holds your hand in public -- he loves PDA because he can show you off :’)

yes. he kisses the back of your nape in public. so what. 

YES. HE CLOSES HIS EYES WHEN HE DOES IT AND ACCIDENTALLY INHALES YOUR SCENT AND WHISPERS IN YOUR EAR THAT YOU SMELL GOOD. IDC IF YOU THINK THAT’S CREEPY. IT’S CUTE. YES. HE GIVES YOU THAT LOOK THAT SAYS HE’S CRAZILY IN LOVE WITH YOU. SO WHAT.

kageyama tobio.

he probably fell in love with you because you were just as passionate about something else as he is about volleyball; music, drawing, writing, math, science, reading -- whatever

i see this relationship as being one that’s like...accelerated friends. like,,, you act like him and hinata except you kiss sometimes and he can see you at the end of the wedding aisle

DEFINITELY reads cosmopolitans once you start dating because he wants to be a good boyfriend for you <3

PDA is literally little to NONe,,, not because he doesn’t like it...it’s just because he doesn’t realize that he’s not showing you affection lololol

like in one arm he has his athletic duffel bag and the other he has a volleyball

he doesn’t mean to neglect you he just does AGAGAG

realized he liked you when he thought about you when he was drinking his milk and mindlessly bought you one too

the first time y’all kissed. he literally stared at you so intensely for a SOLID ten minutes debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it or wait or just smash his face into yours and hope your lips connect

he chose to cross his fingers and ended up smashing his forehead and nose into yours 

it was cute tho <3

hinata shoyo.

YALL HAVE DATES WHERE YOU BABYSIT HIS SISTER. WTF SO CUTE

when yall cuddle and you’re the little spoon he likes to put his head on your shoulder/between your neck and watch as you scroll through tiktok or instagram and just mindlessly talk about his day 

the type of boyfriend where neither of you can cook and you both confusedly look at recipes on google like: ????? wtf is the difference between brown sugar and regular sugar

it’s his INSTINCT to hold your hand. no matter what. his hand just...gravitates to yous.

AND HIS LIPS JUST FIND YOUR CHEEK??? like it’s so natural to him to kiss your cheek when he sees you, even in public. it’s so adorable i--

THE TYPE OF GUY TO WIPE OFF FOOD FROM THE CORNER OF YOUR MOUTH AND STILL EAT IT AND SAY “you taste good!~” AND NOT EVEN REALIZE WHAT HE SAID. BUT WHEN YOU DO IT TO HIM HE BLOWS A FUSE

he loves to tickle you. like you’ll be vibing, drinking whatever you drink in the morning and he’ll come up to you all casually and kiss you cheek...and then he’ll pounce 

he holds you close to his chest when he tickles you, partally because he likes feeling your laugh vibrate on his chest, and partially because it’s easier to not get tickled if he’s right behind you

his sister LOVes you and it just. makes him so happy

tanaka ryuunosuke.

you CANNOT remove his hand from your ass. it is permanently glued there. it is attached to you. yes, even in public.

number 1 hypeman! he will always support you, no matter what! you could be in a competition to raise the biggest beetle and he’ll be there rooting you on and staying up late with you as you rear your award-winning beetle

you two lay next to each other on the couch/on his bed and he’ll have his arm around you and you’ll lay your head on his chest as you watch netflix shows

YOU, NISHINOYA, AND TANAKA? UNSTOPPABLE TRIO. POWER TRIPLET. 

i don’t imagine him being shy when he first kisses you; the first time he kissed you, you were literally just. existing and he literally just...couldn’t hold it in...and he just went for it

literally CATAPULTS himself into you and kisses you senseless

yes you and saeko are besties she gives you ALL the tea about young tanaka

the type to take off his shirt more during practice if you’re there watching, and literally BURN red if you mention anything about his muscles

you once traced a vein in his arm and commented on how hot it was and he literally short-circuited 

kiss his biceps. kiss his abs. kiss his cheek. please. it’s all he wants. he’s touch-starved

nishinoya yuu.

SUCH an excited boyfriend

like he seriously gets so hype doing ANYTHING with you pleaSE give this man an award. you’ll be at the amusement park and the line to get into a ride will be three hours and he’ll be like

“I get to spend three hours with you?!! fucking sick! absolutely radical!” 

he’s bold in public, but only because he wants to rub you in his teammates faces, but his ears will be Red

at home, he’s calmer :) he just loves to spend time with you, even if you’re sitting on a bench watching him practice receives for five hours straight in the blazing sun. 

he just treasures your time so much, you treats you like a precious gem -- he will NEVER treat you wrong. deadass has no problem admitting when he’s wrong -- but if he thinks he’s right then he WILL stand his ground

he’s a passionate man, who loves just as passionately.

his favorite time to kiss you is after you’ve taken a sip of a soda because he likes the taste of the syrup and the burn of the carbonation, but most of all because he likes the taste of your lips in combination with all of them

NIPS AT YOUR EAR. DEADASS JUST LOOKS AT YOU BRUSH A PIECE OF HAIR BACK WHEN YOU’RE DOING HOMEWORK AND IS LIKE “free real estate” AND C H O MPS

the day nishinoya told everyone yall were dating, kiyoko stopped you in the hallway and deadass got on her knees and thanked you LITERALLY she was like “i’ll buy you anything. give the word and it’ll be yours.” 

sugawara koushi.

would kiss you on the first date. deadass. he’ll just drop you off at your doorstep and you’re still high on adrenaline, and you’re lowkey hoping he’ll kiss you and you get  little disappointed when he doesn’t and then when you least expect it. bam. his lips on yours

his smell oh god, he literally smells like fresh sugar cookies. it’s like as soon as you get anywhere near him his smell just invades you nose and. you’re powerless. you just wanna hug him

never smells bad. try me, bitch. NEVER.

his hugs are literally god’s gifts. he loves hugging you. he just completely envelopes you with his pretty setter arms and his smell takes up all the space in your head and nothing else exists for that moment, just you two

loves tucking your hair behind your ears or just moving it out of your face; doing homework and your bangs are in the way? not for long because he’ll clip them up for you <3

he’s pretty mischievous and will playfully put his hand next to your head and lean down with such a HOT look in his eyes 

and he’ll say some shit like “i wanna devour you” and then he’ll laugh afterwards and give you a kiss on the forehead and you’re standing there. like -.- o.o -.- o.o

whenever he feels insecure about his position on the team, you’re always there to comfort him and he’ll just lay between your legs and rest his face on your stomach as you comb your fingers through his hair and scroll through tiktok

PDA? yes please. uh huh. mhmm. he doesn’t care who sees his love for you he just wants to love on you baby. kisses you on the lips, no problemo

daichi sawamura.

you and suga are the only ones who can scare him when yall are mad lol

boyfriend where you’ve dated for like a year but it feel like 50 have already passed. in a good way!

this relationship is so ungodly domestic. like from the first day it’s just pure comfort and he’s like your rock and you’re his anchor

you two bicker a lot but it’s lighthearted and you just feel so secure with him that poking fun at him and at yourself is just natural

daichi. gives. god. hugs. he does. it’s fact. 

his arms are just so big and he has so much body warmth and he probably smells like some bullshit cologne like “smoldering woods” and it’s just so. daichi

you two spend the night at each other’s house so often it’s like you already live with each other and people always forget that you don’t lolol

totally sleeps with his shirt off and only with underwear. isn’t awkward about it either;  when he wakes up he puts on sweats but still remains topless (not that you’re complaining)

you two are like. the strict parental couple, when you walk together whether it be down the street or in the hallways, you just look so right for each other it’s. mind blowing

doesn’t mind kissing you a little in public but really thinks that stuff should be for private; so normally he just kisses your temple and always has an arm either around your shoulder or around your waist

WHEN THE TEAM SEES YOU KISS ON THE LIPS THEY GO “EW” EVEN SUGA AND ASAHI AFIEFHEWIF

asahi azumane.

literal fucking teddy bear. god please cuddle him. please kith him. please comb through his hair with your fingers and kiss his nape and kiss the back of his head. please i beg of you.

did NOT ask you out first. he wrote love letter to you and then waiting behind the gym because he thought being near the volleyball gym would give him some luck and them you got in front of him and he was. deer in the headlights

needless to say you asked him out and kissed his cheek. he DIED

even once yall are comfortable in the relationship he still needs reassurance every once in a while because he’s a little insecure, not that you’ll leave him for someone else, but that he’s not good enough

his PDA skill are. subpar. he usually just holds your hand and that’s it, but sometimes kisses the corner of your eye or nose and you just combust

OH RIOGEH TOTALLY DOES BUTTERFLY AND BUNNY KISSES. YES GOD YESSSSS

when yall cuddle he doesn’t like spooning. he likes to be able to see your face and the expressions you make, so doesn’t like being the little or big spoon; yall face each other and just lets your head lay on his arm even tho it’s numb. im: soft

kisses are so sweet, slow, and hesitant. he doesn’t really kiss you often because he has terrible timing but...when he does it’s like the whole world just becomes still in that moment and nothing matters but his hands on your waist and yours in his hair 

[rotshop]

help girl i just woke up and im already thinking abt mag s/o again. anyway please consider ;

[ tw body horror, some brief light gore and violence ]

[ note ; reader is SLIGHTLY described. the only thing mentioned is that they have a noticeable, identifying scar on their face

hank + mag s/o

-he knew you even before the boombox incident. he doesn't even really remember how you two first met, he just remembers that you started talking to him and then just kinda kept coming back. at first he wasn't the biggest fan of you since he was 'doing just fine on his own,' but...he admittedly was already really attached to you. they've never been much of a talker and that's especially noticeable to you at that point in time but ,,, they respond enough with signing, nodding / shaking their head, or the occasional speaking that you're able to carry some conversations pretty well.

-he doesn't really. have. a lot of people in his life. you're really his only real close friend, it's kinda hard for him to fully wrap his head around it so !! they chose not to, instead focusing more-so on whatever it was you were rambling to them about that day.

-not super sure of where to put this lmao but ummm ehe . he's actually surprisingly touchy with you????? like. you've hung out at his house a few times and he just like. you'll start out sitting next to each other and you'll end up either laying with your head on their chest or vice versa . its . a little funny . you tease him about it a little and he just flicks your shoulder. also traces your scar a lot if you'll let them, they're not entirely sure why they do it, they just . like asking you about it occasionally.

-also you have scary dog privileges. they might look like any other grunt at that point but they're still tall as fuck and idk man !! something abt getting a blank stare from someone who towers over u would probably make u shut up and mind ur own damn business.

-again, he's not super good at fully recognizing / acknowledging certain thoughts and feelings of his but . yknow. he can definitely tell he at least worries about you a lot more than he would some other grunt he just met. he can definitely tell there's a reason he doesn't mind you touching him, whether by grabbing his hand to go show him something or just placing a hand on his shoulder or arm (most likely arm, again. hes tall. ). they can definitely tell there's a reason that they find themself genuinely enjoying your interactions.

-after the park thing you don't see them for a long time. everytime you try and call him the lines dead, everytime you try and ask others about him you just get choice words, all in all you're pretty much lost on the entire thing. sure, you know what happened but . it just never sits right with you. it doesn't help whenever people ask questions about them or give you wary looks because of your association, half steps back when you take one forward.

-anyway. yeah nevada goes to shit and you get magnified for the aahw. by now you just. don't really talk about hank. surprisingly, you have a little more of your old memories than the average mag !! congrats. problem is they're all foggy enough that you only really distantly decipher them. lmao. you aren't super high on the ladder but you're a pretty tough mag to beat. you're well known enough that other mags tend to hang around you when there's not much else going on. v2 mags especially think it's fun to mess around with you by jumping on your back or otherwise clinging onto you . idk man u've got like . a little family here .

-at one point or another there's an outing youre on that ends up going wrong. you get split up from the rest of your unit and are forced to hide out in some old abandoned building while you wait for backup. you're a little too injured to try and walk all the way back, a heavy gash on your side preventing you from doing too much in the moment. when you hear heavy steps on concrete you're able to give some sort of noise of relief, turning your head to look over your shoulder at whichever agent in your group had finally found you-

-you're instead met with red goggles and the end of a gun.

-any kind of relief is snatched away, you know damn well who it is by just the bit you can see in the dark alone. even standing in the shade between two windows (one of which you were sitting by, probably how they seen you in the first place- if that's the case though, it's a little weird they hadn't just shot at you through it.) you knew it was him. you're already stumblingly forcing yourself up to as much of your full height as you can manage, taking some kind of defensive position even as one of your hands ghosts over your gash. the throbbing pain of it and the feeling of blood sticking and running down your skin is enough that you can't seem to focus on the fact that he won't stop staring at your face.

-it doesn't take long before your legs seem to fail you, forcing you forward a bit as you kneel in some sort of attempt to keep upright. you're too busy hissing under your breath and screwing your eyes shut in pain as your hand covers your side to notice your company stepping forwards. you're snapped back to attention when there's a hand on your face, fingertips digging into your skin as they yank your head down a little further. you know you should be grabbing him, that you should be digging your claws into his torso and ripping him clean in half, throwing whatevers left aside and leaving. you know thats what you were told to do, what you were told they deserved anyway. yet, you aren't. instead, you're just giving some warning growl as you stare at them. you notice how the end of the gun is pointed away from you, how their touch seems to outline the mark on your face.

-"If you try and hurt me, I'll kill you." That's the only real heads up you get before he's crouching down and shoving your hand out of the way, grabbing something from his pocket to get to work on you. you don't fail to notice how little attention they're paying to you (aside from the focus on your wound, of course), that you could just rush forward and slam them into the ground if you really wanted.

-ok im skippin g ahead bc this is already way too goddamn long for hcs DEJWJCS

-anyway. it's a complicated relationship for a while. the others tend to avoid you a little but he just keeps showing up around you. they keep staring at you and just hanging around in your general area. it's not that much of an irritant if you ignore all the weird emotions and thoughts it keeps bringing to the forefront of your mind, forcing you to once again try and meddle with your memories.

-eventually he just starts walking over to you and sitting down next to you. sometimes he doesn't say anything at all, just sitting there and seeming to wait for one thing another- he never seems to find whatever that is, as he always gets up and leaves without a word at some point or another. then they start talking, its just little things at first, point-blank statements you can't say much on. sometimes they're just saying they and the other three will be gone for a bit othertimes it's some half-demand to let them look at the stitches they did on you (semi-related, he's not good at them. the stitches are pretty rough. at one point or another sanford has to redo them properly lmao)

-but then there's one particular night. they do the normal thing, come over, sit down next to you, not say a word. this time though you note how they're facing you. instead of some reminder or a demand for anything, he's pulling his ask down and asking a simple question. 'What do you remember?'

-it's a long conversation. he's talking more than he normally would by a long shot, occasionally stopping whenever his words seem to especially fail him and get stuck in his throat. you don't even really remember moving around, or even him pulling you in any way, you just know you somehow end up laying next to him with your head on his chest.

-whenever the memories do seem to click into place, it's hard. you have a lot of choice words for them yourself, months of being left alone without a word bubbling up with a vengeance, they listen to them. while some mags (such as yourself) do have the ability to speak, the san and dei don't think they've ever heard one with that much emotion in their voice. they've especially never seen a mag just break down like you do, they're both tensing up a little from their far away spot when hank's walking closer to you. instead of you lashing out or swiping at him though, you just sit there while he wraps his arms around you (as best as he can at least, it's a little difficult but he's able to get them around your neck and reach his other hand behind you well enough). you're eventually doing the same to him, though it's more so just your hands resting on their back.

-it takes a good while for proper trust to be rebuilt along with an honest, proper explanation from hank that only you're privy to. eventually though, there's enough trust that you're able to hang around him again without narrowly avoiding an argument or anything. they don't like being super affectionate or 'vulnerable' in front of the other two, so most times they prefer being in your or their room. also they're still touchy lmao, doesn't help that you're mag sized now and so they just want to hold you . its hard to explain, he's never been super affected by others heights and even when he is it's usually a negative thing for him but . for some reason . he just likes being shorter / smaller than you lol ,,,,,,,, hope you like holding them a lot bc that's what you're gonna be doing

-holy shit these are long so . i think .i am going to stop here.

[oriigirii]

Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers 💞

"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"

Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha

Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings

Gender: Neutral!

Hotel: Trivago

* [ ಠ╭╮ಠ ] Lucifer *

{How did he know about your career?}

I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot

(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)

He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!

So him finding out is gonna take a while

But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)

This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.

He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.

But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...

To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)

Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.

If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.

You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)

{How does he feel about your streams?}

Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with

If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.

He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off

Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--

At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.

If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.

Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.

* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Mammon*

{How did he know about your career?}

I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!

Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing

You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.

When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.

Bro he's scared.

He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay

When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.

Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly

But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,

"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother them…"

Streaming? why didn't you tell him???

Rude much.

He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment

Can Levi stop him?

Nah.

He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.

He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,

You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?

He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)

"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"

"Ill behave i promiseeeee"

"Cmon pleaseeee?"

Chat is c o n f u s i o n

NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere

but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad

So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"

Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing

As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.

Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?

{How does he feel about your streams?}

You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?

But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!

ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans

but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard

The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)

You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever

Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.

Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.

* ▘▂▝ Leviathan*

{How did he know about your career?}

He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned

His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?

Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?

He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.

You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him

He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you

Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U

He'll absolutely m e l t

But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm

Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond

Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them

But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)

You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.

Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.

Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.

Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.

{How does he feel about your streams?}

He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own

He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time

But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.

So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.

He might just end up watching you instead

May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you

You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.

Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan

Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.

------

Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!

[carpisuns]

20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

thanks for the tag, @deinde-prandium!

How many works do you have on AO3?

19

What’s your total AO3 word count?

200,749

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

uh i wrote a few hunger games fics on fanfic.net when i was like 17 lol but now it's just miraculous ladybug

What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 . Why Are You Like This?

2. tell me something i don't know

3. lucky (we're in love in every way)

4. some truths are loyal (as the shadows we lead)

5. Dirt-y Little Secret

uh i dont wanna take up too much space on ur dash so i'll put the rest under a cut haha

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yeah i try to respond to as many as possible! it's really nice when someone takes the time to leave a comment so i wanna let them know i appreciate it 🤧 unfortunately im SUPER behind rn asldjfjaklfj im sorry im gonna try to binge respond soon lol

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i have to have happy endings or i'll die lmao. i guess Real cause it's kinda bittersweet bc sentiadrien? haha

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

uh,,all of them :) i guess i'd go with lucky cause it's both fluffy and crack-y haha

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

nah

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not really, i think the worst i've gotten is like mild disappointment lol

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

nope, and i don't read it either

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yep—Real, some truths, and lucky were translated into Russian

Have you ever co-written a fic?

currently collabing with @botherkupo on two idiots and a hamster!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

im love square trash<3

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

my only current active wip is my collab with kim, which im sure we'll finish eventually (as soon as i get back on the ball with it askljfjklsad sorry). i have a bunch of unpublished wips tho and who knows which of them will end up actually being something lol

What’s your writing strengths?

hmm probably dialogue and humor?

What’s your writing weaknesses?

action scenes, kisses, Actual Plot™️, taking angst or romance seriously without making it overdramatic/cheesy 😭lol

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i dont do it personally, cause im writing in english and if the POV character is speaking another language it's already implied. and throwing in foreign words could be potentially confusing/distracting (at least to me)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

hunger games

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

i just finished tell me something i don't know yesterday and i'd have to say that one's my favorite! I worked on it for over a year so i got pretty attached haha. it's like my 120k love letter to the love square💜

Tagging (if you want to): @botherkupo @sha-nwa, @peachcitt, @trashcatontherooftop, @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights/@taliaxlatia/whatever account u wanna do this on tali lmao

[nightowlfandom]

Keith (Voltron)- Heat Season

EDIT- I took off the “AU” part because I legit forgot what I was doing lol. No AU here

Hey hey! ANON ASKS

omg. can u do a keith x reader mating szn smut? like it’s his first heat so he locked himself away(f’s in the chat for keith) but the reader went to check on him not knowing a thing(gasp!). keith rlly do be rough at first bc he’s not thinkin straight but then becomes more ✨passionate✨ rough smut at first, then some tenderness(like my dino nuggets. lmao im 20), but then heated passionate smut. *chefs kiss* oui oui baggett

Keith from Voltron?....Cuz that’s what I’m doing for my mental health....And I’m going to hope and pray that’s what you wanted....cuz im doing it. Prepare your diddly hole....that sounded wrong. Hope you like it! 

BTW You caught me on an off day, but I didn’t wanna leave you hanging.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!

Leggo!

...

You were confused as to why everyone had insisted you go check up on Keith. Then again the last thing you said to him before he locked himself in his room for 3 days was. 

“Wow, it’s so hot in here. I need to change out of these clothes.”

It was a throwaway comment that usually earned you a laugh or two from him. Only this time, it ended with him taking one look at you, and zooming off. Three whole days since then and it felt like you were the only one who wasn’t aware of what was going through his head.

So here you were, standing outside his door. You hesitated for a while, frozen in place.

“He’s your friend.” you declared. “You can do this!” you nodded with determination. You slowly raised your hand and knocked. 

“Fuck!” you heard on the other side. “W-Who’s there!”

“It’s me?” you answered, slowly becoming unsure. “Is it a bad time?”

“Y/N!” he grunted. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you! P-please let me in.” you sighed. 

“Y/N! It isn’t safe for you to be here!” he sounded in pain.

“Keith! It’s either you let me in or I melt the door down!” you warned. "I have a lighter on me, don’t test whether or not I’m serious.”

Suddenly the door slid open. Without another thought you walked in. His room looked normal. “Keith?”

Just as you got in, the door slammed shut, making you jump. A shirtless Keith stumbled out of the bathroom. His face was completely red and he was sweating. Without a pause, you rushed over to him.

“Y/N!” Keith shuddered. “P-please don’t-”

“Keith!” you cut him off. “You’re burning up!” you put a hand on his forehead. For some reason, he leaned into your touch. He shuddered, his eyes glazing over slowly. This was a side of his you’ve never seen before.

It wasn’t long bore you managed to connect the dots. You couldn’t stop the blush from rising onto your face. “Oh.” was all you could say.

“Y/N...” he dropped to his knees. “I’m so sorry.” he whimpered. “It’s...t-too much.” he moaned. “I didn’t want to scare you.”

He rested his head against your stomach. “I want you so bad.” he cried. Like literally cried. “I c-can’t control it.” he whimpered.

“Keith? Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you, I could’ve-.”

“The only reason I didn’t tell you was because in order to calm it down...I’d have to...have my way with the object of my aggression.” you could tell he was very ashamed. It then dawned on you what he meant when he said he wanted you.

“And...that’s me?” you clarified, voice shaking.

He buried his face into your stomach, tightening his grip around you. “Yes...”

“...Then do it.” you found yourself saying. This caused him to look up in surprise.

“You just made a big mistake, Y/N.” he glowered. A sadistic smile arose on his face. “You just opened yourself up to me.” he scrambled to his feet. Before you knew it, you felt your back hit the door. “Which means I can do whatever I want to you now.”

Keith grabbed a handful of your hair in his fist and bought your lips to his. You winced in pain, feeling him tighten his grip, as if he was scared to let you go. He must have detected this because he moved his hand to the side of your neck. 

Your body was flush against the wall and he was pressed against you, covering your body like a blanket. He yanked himself away from you and hoisted you up. 

Keith carried you to his bed and practically threw you on the plush surface. In that instant, the tables were flipped. Instead of looking up at you through hooded eyes with a shameful gaze, it was you who was now looking up at him.  Keith stared down at you with a glare. You probably looked ridiculous, but you didn’t care. 

“How do you want me?” you found yourself asking. 

“Fuck.” he whimpered. Just hearing you say that sent him crazy. He could smell sex coming off you, and he wanted to get his hands on you. His mouth, his dick, whatever he could touch you with. He could barely gather his thoughts. Every corner of his mind was occupied by visions of you, imagines, of you, thoughts of you. “Clothes...off...now.”

He didn’t wait for you, instead he ripped your shirt down the back, tearing it to shreds. He gently pushed on your chest, sending you down. Your back in the bed and you didn’t dare try and sit up.

“Is this a good time to mention I went commando today?” you asked aloud. Keith stopped everything he was doing and looked at you. He was expressionless. He didn’t say a word.

“...You’re not wearing any underwear?” he glowered.

“No?” you trailed off. “I didn’t do my laundry.” you admitted. 

The remained of your shirt fell in a pool around you. You and Keith had a stare-down, that glossy look returning to his eyes. He hooked his fingers around the hem of your pants and yanked them down. As expected, you were completely exposed to him. No undergarment in sight. Your smell filled his nostrils.

He instantly began fumbling with his pants, unable to control himself anymore. He could see that you were already excited down there and he was growing inpatient. 

He grabbed hold of your thighs and thrust himself into your tightness, earning a surprised moan from you. You felt better than he thought you would. You fit him perfectly, like a sheath built for a special type of sword. 

“Fu-...Ungh...-” He could barely make words as he pumped into your wetness. “Y/N.” he grunted. “You’re mine.” he growled. “Mine. If anyone else touches you after today, they’ll have me to answer to.” he croaked.

You were at a point where you couldn’t make any words, your body had reacted to him in a way where you felt like a slave to his touch. Was is pheromones? It was probably pheromones...you’d have to ask later.

“I wanna- I wanna kiss you.” Keith fought to speak as he slammed his hands on either side of your head. As promised, he lazily crashed his mouth over yours. His kiss was sloppy and lazily, his lips leaving a thin line of drool as he kissed down your neck. 

He rolled his hips against yours, groaning at each thrust. At this rate, he wouldn’t be able to last long. That didn’t stop him from speeding up. 

“Y/N.” he moaned again. With each sloppy thrust, his name left your lips, sounding more and more guttural before he spilled into you. He yanked his length out of your hole, splattering the entire front of your body in his cum. 

You looked like a pretty sight. You were officially marked by him. When you looked up, that hungry gaze was still strewn across his face. You noticed his eyes were still focused on your heat. His tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

He met your eyes for a split second before giving you a lewd smirk. He winked at you before scooting back to lay on his stomach. 

“K-keith. We just fin-ISHED.” you tried to say. Keith had attached his mouth to your sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“I know.” he stopped to speak for a bit. “I didn’t feel you cum for me though.”

“You can tell?!” you look down surprised. No, you didn’t fake it...but you didn’t think he would go this mile. 

“Of course I can fucking tell...you’re mine remember?” he giggled before lashing his mouth against you again. You could feel tears of pleasure welling up at the corners of your eyes. Your fists clenched the sheets under you.  It was like he had full control of you. You felt his fingers pump into you again, fucking his cum back into you. (I’m such a thot omg)

Your orgasm came like an avalanche. A mixture of loud cries and moans ripped through the air. Surely anyone who had been around could hear.

You were just worried about what would happen tomorrow.

...

“NOT A WORD!” you threateningly held up a butter knife to Lance not even three hours later.

“Just saying...I was on the other side of the-”

“SHUT UP!” you cut him off. 

“...Was he good though?”

“I said shut up!” you groaned, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment.

“I’m just saying...those hickeys aren’t gonna heal for a while.” he shrugged, laughing out loud as he walked away.

“Fuck me!” you seethed, trailing your fingers over your aching skin.

“What was that?” Keith seemingly appeared out of nowhere. You dropped the butter knife, feeling his broad chest up against your back. “Did you say to-”

“In the kitchen though?!” you squeaked. “Bad dog! Very bad!” you whimpered, melting into his touch anyways.

“Don’t worry, it only lasts a week.” he giggled in your ear.

A week...lord help you.

“Maybe longer if I like you enough.”

....Fuck

[capricores]

hey, love 💓 hope you’re having a good day. I just discovered I have an Aquarius stellium and I don’t really know what it means 🙃

thank you so much angel! aquarius stellium:

“extrovert-passing introverts” // aquarius stelliums are great at being social, and they like connecting with people, but they tend to hate being social at the exact same time, they like isolation/alone time and can have a pretty short fuse for dealing with people (it’s pretty conflicting! they have a love-hate relationship with being social lol, it highly depends on the house of the aquarius stellium in this case)

they tend to have that “social battery”, but it works both ways. they need social interaction for happiness (esp aquarius moon/venus), but they also usually need a day or three to recharge after social interactions/gatherings

despite their very chill, calm exterior i do find they get irritated and frustrated pretty easily, they have a very low tolerance for people’s bs and they aren’t usually great at hiding their annoyance (mostly because they simply don’t care to; in an aquarian’s mind they don’t generally see why they would hide their emotions for your sake)

surprisingly very stubborn! people expect them to be open since they’re an air sign; and mind you, they are very good at listening and understanding new ideas, concepts, ways of thinking/doing things, etc., but it’s pretty rare for aqua dominant people to change their ways/mind; and if they do it has to be on their own terms & feel like it was their own choice/idea

they can have issues when it comes to embracing & accepting their emotions; they tend to intellectualize and try to rationalize everything they feel (this will depend heavily on the individual’s moon though)

tend to be musically and/or artistically inclined, usually the most talented and creative people you’ll ever meet (i find most aquarians use art/music as an outlet; and a huge chunk of aquarius stelliums i’ve “studied” or read for have made their careers in the art fields)

i’ve noticed they tend to stutter a lot when speaking! aquarian dominant people (esp aquarius moons, mercurys) have this habit of speaking before they’ve actually formed the thought/planned out what they were gonna say: so they kinda of just “sjlkfdjdlkf” irl sometimes or take a while to finish their sentence (scattered speaking style)

they don’t like talking about their emotions/feelings unless they can be self-deprecating about it or make a relatable meme/joke out of it

very analytical people and they overthink anything and everything that people say and do (especially with aquarius moon and/or mercury)

they’re quite blunt, they don’t generally sugarcoat things and can be as cutthroat as aries/capricorn are stereotyped to be

on that note, they often just say what’s on their mind at the time and they don’t intend to hurt people, they just don’t often realize the things they’re saying are hurtful/too blunt

aquarians are very, ‘why would i filter myself for someone? i don’t want people to filter to me’, and it can be hard for them to understand some people’s sensitivities in conversation

they really despise copycat or reflector-type individuals; their biggest turn-offs tend to be those who follow the crowd, don’t think for themselves, mold themselves for others, etc

aquarians can take a really, really long time to fall in love i find, as they tend to not care for it and usually just view people in a “friend way”, but once they find “their person” they are 100000% committed and will probably make big steps (from saying “i love you” to straight up moving in together, marriage, etc) very fast

undeveloped they do run a habit of having “hot and cold” relationships; a tendency to become super attached very fast only to flip the switch and detach shortly after, usually after they lose interest or become too comfortable

on the topic of romance again, aquarians also (or at least as i’ve noticed) do not use “i love you” very easily or lightly, even if they DO love you and you’re best friends/in a committed long-term relationship/etc, they don’t use the phrase very often and tend to save it for very select times

again can have a lot of trouble expressing their feelings and emotions so they can be a bit awkward at first and for a while in relationships

again they’re VERY independent and they need alone/recharging time or they’ll get very frustrated and anxious

they get very protective of their creations, ideas and style; so when they feel they’re being imitated; or when their ideas are criticized; they get extremely upset and defensive 

also very humanitarian!! i’ve noticed despite most aquarians being like “oh i hate the world/society/people/etc” they have this constant, inner need to help people/the environment/the world and tend to be really passionate about it (aquarius energy is very “fuck the world!! im gonna still save it tho”)

aquarian stelliums probably had an emo phase and if they managed to escape it they probably still dress like they’re in their emo phase lol

depending on their ascendant/midheaven they likely have a pretty unique sense of style as well; i find those with strong aquarian influence often wear very “stand out”, “in your face” and original outfits; very much the type to constantly be changing their hair colour & makeup styles as well (they like wearing things or having aesthetics that tend to shock others; they secretly enjoy getting reactions out of people)

these individuals are very committed to their work and hobbies, they tend to put those above everything else in their life. a lot of people forget the aquarian connection to saturn; aquarians are usually very committed to their jobs and work very hard when they’re in the work-zone

their friends tend to be a hugely significant part of their life too; aquarius moons/venuses especially tend to talk about their close friends ALL the time and they’re very, very protective of them (so loyal)

aquarius stelliums tend to have lots of acquaintances but only a few select close friends (and even most of those close friends they don’t fully open up to)

usually struggles with intimacy and vulnerability 

they tend to radiate a lot of natural confidence and security in themselves, despite how insecure they may feel inwardly 

not to stereotype, but they do usually tend to be drawn to obscure, occult or controversial things. often the types to have “weird” hobbies, interests or habits

often very into, or open to, things like astrology, conspiracy theories, spirituality, etc! but they do think very rationally and logically, so they like to analyze and pick apart these things at the same time, they don’t just accept and follow these things (they have no issue with picking apart their own passions and interests either, so if you debate an aquarius they probably already know what you’re gonna say lol)

usually have the nagging desire to be known (whether it be famous, or just accepted/loved by many/friends/family/etc); they likely felt misunderstood and abandoned their entire life (namely in childhood) so now they have a huge craving to be in the spotlight; although they hate admitting this

aquarians have the ability to fit in well with many types of people, yet often in childhood they were excluded and/or subjects of bullying i’ve noticed (oftentimes from their own family), which is part of the reason why they frequently grow up lacking a feeling of “belonging” or feel like “outsiders”; they deep down crave to be accepted and embraced/have fans/supporters

aquarius stelliums often struggle with fears of abandonment which contributes more to their isolation habits and independent “i dont need anyone but me and my spotify playlists” nature

they despise being controlled, tied down or told what to do; often if you tell an aquarius not to do something they’ll go out of their way to do it, even if they initially didn’t want to do said thing lol (the house that’s in aquarius will show the area of life in which they “rebel” the most; or are the most uncontrollable/free/independent) 

random note: i also find aquarius stelliums are frequently very awkward around children/don’t usually desire nor want any at all

[cowboymirio]

They Want To Get A Pet - Headcanons

Summary: Your S/O wants a pet and adorable antics ensue~ 

Characters: Hizashi Yamada, Taishiro Toyomitsu, Aizawa Shouta, Eijiro Kirishima, Tenya Iida, Hanta Sero, Takami Keigo

Contains: Gender neutral reader, lotsa fluff, Reader has arachnophobia in Sero’s part! Crackheadery in Aizawa’s part

Hizashi Yamada - Cockatoo

📣 You guys totally didn’t plan on getting a cockatoo, or any pet for that matter. Y’all just moved into your new place for christ’s sake! 

📣 But after a visit to a lil exotic pet store downtown, your plans changed. And now you’re stuck with a bird with the intelligence of a toddler

📣 According to Yama, the bird just ‘called to him’ and by that, he means the bird literally screamed at him

📣 They’ve got the most bougie cage ever like MTV cribs hit them up. 

📣But he doesn’t spend too much time in there as you guys let him roam around the house all day until it’s time for bed or if you leave for a while

📣 If they’re not attached to Yama’s shoulder, you often find them waddling around the house, picking things up off of the floor and throwing them, and squawking at you when they want attention

📣 Sounds like someone else you know huh…

📣 Yama and the bird dance together so much omg. They do the lil head bobs together, he’ll blast some music for them and they go to town he even chirps along to the lyrics omg-

📣 He doesn’t even have to teach them words, they just pick them up on their own… and then never stop saying them… ever 

📣 ‘YEAHHHHH’ then from the other side of your home you hear another ‘YEAAHHHHH’

📣 Make it stop

📣 You taught them cuss words for the shits and giggles though

📣 Yama finds it funny too though because he’s got that 8-year-old sense of humor… you all do to be honest 

📣 But when the bird chooses to sit on your shoulder you bet your ass Yamada’s gonna fawn over the two of you for the next hour :’) 

Taishiro Toyomitsu - Pyrenean Mastiff

🍢 Really wants a pet 

🍢 But also really scared of crushing them so…

🍢 You guys settle for a big ‘ol Pyrenean mastiff!

🍢 And when I say they’re big they are big like… I mean knock you over if you’re not careful big

🍢 They’re literally perfect for each other

🍢 They’re both massive units, insanely adorable, and they for sure share the same appetite

🍢 Speaking of food, he makes sure he’s feeding them the best of the best foods even if that means y’all are making it yourselves

🍢 Not as afraid to roughhouse with them as he thought he’d be

🍢 Lots of fetching, frisbee throwing, ‘wrestling’ even?? They’re so rowdy and for what? My heart, that’s what <3 

🍢 The dog definitely sleeps on top of him I don’t make the rules

🍢 Mf just hops on up, curls up and they’re ready to go like--- Is that- is that not y’know,,, HEAVY?? 

🍢 I mean,,, you sleep on top of him too so I honestly don’t think Tai cares too much

Aizawa Shota - Cat

💤 You guys already know…

💤 If he were to get any kind of pet it’d be a cat.

💤 They’re chill, independent, and sometimes want attention. Just how he likes it.

💤 Well… that’s how he thought that things should be but-

💤 BOY was he wrong

💤 After living together for quite a while, stalking animal shelter websites for the perfect cat, and finding the right one, you bring them home!

💤 When you met them at the shelter, they were a sweet lil baby with an aloof attitude that you both fell in love with

💤 But when you brought them home… They became an absolute crackhead.

💤 Forget having ANYTHING on the tables or countertops. It’s on the floor now thanks to them. Fuck your water glass, fuck those papers you were helping Aizawa grade, they’re gone! Shredded! Positively destroyed :)

💤 Forget having free hands, they’re literally attached to his side and won’t stop rubbing against his hands while he’s grading papers and such

💤 If you’re not watching his little dude/ette will try and eat food WHILE YOU’RE COOKING oh my fuckingf god

💤 Heaven forbid this dude tries to leave the room. They’ll ‘cry’ until he comes back.

💤 ‘Go to your other parent, they’ll give you attention.’ ‘mEEEOWWW’ ‘Oh my god fine come here.’

💤 Honestly though he really appreciates when they’re down to sleep. Their purrs and their cuddles are very appreciated

💤 And literally just imagine seeing them curled up on his chest while they sleep on the couch ;; im so somft

Eijiro Kirishima - Bearded Dragon

🏮 This man wants to get THE manliest pet of all,,, a bearded dragon

🏮 He probably saw one on a movie or something and immediately came to you like

🏮 ‘Okay but we neeeeed one just look at their lil beards!! And their tongues!!!’

🏮 You tell him to put it off for a bit, do some research, and see if he still wants one later

🏮 Homeboy is DEDICATED so he puts in the time and ofc he still wants one after the fact

🏮 After a good amount of time, he comes back with a books worth of reasons as to why you guys should get one and you’re honestly shocked

🏮 You just can’t say no to those eyes </33 so you oblige and go out and get one from an owner who’s surrendering it (Because we don’t support chain pet stores in this household)

🏮 You guys can’t pick a name for them so for the longest time they’re just called ‘the lizard’ or ‘little fella’ or whatever else you guys come up with

🏮 Anyways- he’s infatuated with them it’s so funny. He spends all of his freetime watching them get used to their new habitat like,,,, all of it. It’s 1am and he’s just watching it hang out and you’re like ‘Kiri if you love it so much then why don’t you sleep with it’ (not in that way ya nasty)

🏮 HE TAKES IT SERIOUSLY

🏮 Next thing you know he hops out of bed, brings them back and puts them between your pillows.

🏮 Lil homie’s just vibin there.

🏮 You’re done tbh but if Kiri’s happy then you’re happy <33

🏮 Absolutely lets it sit on his shoulders when he’s walking around the house

🏮 He has a leash for them and he takes them out during the warmer months

🏮 Dedicates a good portion of his day to clean out their habitat when need be

🏮 Their relationship is just so cute you can’t help but melt every time you see them together

Tenya Iida - Tropical Fish

🌟 After a particularly rough finals season, you figure that Iida needs to have some sort of hobby that can help him chill out, but also has some sort of brainwork in there because that’s your boyfriend for ya

🌟 You suggest getting some fish!

🌟 He rly said ‘I’ll think about it’ then proceeded to do a shit ton of research on it because he literally does that every time you express interest in something. King behavior!!

🌟 You guys settle on getting a few tropical fish and a super nice fish tank for ‘em

🌟 He lets you name all of them and of course you have to name one ‘Iida junior’ like how could you not-

🌟 But seriously though he finds it so endearing and sweet ;;

🌟 You can’t tell me he doesn’t buy all of the nicest shit he can for their tank too.

🌟 Fresh aquatic plants, huge rocks for them to swim through, a nice ass heater, the WORKS

🌟 He’s gotta treat yall’s babies right like what did you expect

🌟 Constantly checking their water to see if it’s alright for them

🌟 He’s usually the one to feed them so whenever he comes up to the tank, they all crowd up by the top like doggies when their owner comes home omg

🌟 He finds the noises from the tank to be really good background noise when he’s reading or studying

🌟 Iida’s honestly glad that you suggested to get fish ‘cause taking care of them is such a relaxing hobby and lord knows he needs some of those

Hanta Sero - Rose Haired Tarantula

🧵 So he wants a Rose Hair Tarantula...

🧵 ‘Absolutely not’ - You, 2021 (sorry if you actually like spiders lol, if a singular person wants hcs where y’all both like spiders please @ me)

🧵 Lots and lots of begging and promises

🧵 ‘You won’t even have to clean the cage, I’ll do it!!’ ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ ‘c’mooon pretty please???’

🧵 He had to bust out the puppy eyes for you to say yes

🧵 And with that, you’re now the proud parents of a demon rose hair tarantula!

🧵 ‘We can keep them in the spare room’ your ass. He lets it climb all over him while he’s walking around the house!!

🧵 Not you actively avoiding him when you see them coming down towards you

🧵 ‘But I wanna kiss!!’ ‘Kiss your tarantula smh’

🧵 After he realizes he’s not gonna get any with his lil buddy (yes, that’s what he calls them) he tries his best to help you familiarize with em

🧵 I’m sorry but he’s trying so hard not to laugh as you freak out when they crawl up your arm

🧵 He takes things more seriously after that though. He’ll give you lil words of encouragement, back pats and such

🧵 He’s so happy that you become… tolerable after a while of you guys just hangin’ out that you can’t help but feel proud too.

🧵 You still can’t stand spiders though.  

Keigo Tamaki - Bunnies

🐤 Just like Aizawa, he wants something that’s quiet and can be independent since his schedule is a bit busy but he still wants to have a lil buddy to love on

🐤 You’re actually the one to bring up the idea to get a bunny, it’s part of a long list of ideas you had come up with, but for whatever reason, the bunny idea just stuck with him

🐤 You two hop (im a comedic genius hi <33) on over to the nearest rescue you can find, and browse through the enclosures looking for the perfect bunny for you guys 

🐤 Ok so like- here’s the thing,,,

🐤 You totally didn’t plan on getting two bunnies… But you guys found a pair that were literally inseparable and y’all had to have them

🐤 He’s already calling them ‘Our children’ straight off the bat like- y’all JUST got home and he’s already giving you baby fever UGH

🐤 He bunny-proofs the FUCK out of the house so they can roam freely ‘cause he didn’t just get these babies to stick them in a cage smh

🐤 Will lay on the floor and just watch them romp around cus he finds it relaxing and funny 

🐤 Also please get on the floor and watch them with him. Prime cuddling hours

🐤 They burrow under his wings… I repeat- THEY BURROW UNDER HIS WINGS

🐤 They WILL flop together don’t @ me 

🐤 They (and by they I mean all three of them)  flop on you when they want attention can I jst--- *cries*

🐤 Have fun trying to get up, this is your life now. 

🐤 But are you really complaining? You shouldn’t be smh 

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you have any hopes for the season finale? I saw in another ask, you described the dynamic between rick and morty this season as "very weak, distant, and downright frankly boring" and I completely agree with you! I hope that, because this is most we'll see rick and morty interacting this season, it'll have at least a few moments of what makes their dynamic so interesting to watch.

(Ok i started airing my grievances with this season, which ended up being... long, so skip this paragraph (starting at / / /) to get to my thoughts on the finale)

Oh gosh I remember that ask (I think-). And yeah, maybe I'm being a bit overly critical. I'll probably look back on this season with retrospect, and a kinder, fonder view. Ik androgynousblackbox (think thats right) made a great point about it being the season FOR rickorty shippers. And sure, I agree on some bits, like Rick acting all pissy and partying the way you would if your ex got with someone new in the planetina ep. Overall though, i think my problem lies in that I was enjoying more individual moments than episodes themselves, especially the middle three. For example- Amortycan Grickfitti. Like, I really liked the idea of the Ship getting on a crazy adventure with Summer and Morty (and Chutback). I like the idea of a Beth-Jerry-Rick adventure. But put together, it's just kinda... meh? You know? I liked the first half of the Thanksgiving special... but it kinda dragged on after that. I get that they want to give other characters (particularly female ones) more attention, which is completely understandable and i encourage it(!) but I can't help but find it underwhelming. Like, Summer in the voltron ep was like- girl how are you STILL vying for Rick's attention! He's the worst! Haven't we done this already? (I will say though I ADORE how far Beth has come, props to her for continuing to seeing through her dad's BS. I was worried the character would relapse into a more typical s1/s2 Beth, and I'm glad she didn't). Some of these plots, funnily enough, seem more fitting of the comics (they actually had a voltron parody already). Fun and entertaining for two or three-something issues, not so much a 22 minute episode. i think most of my complaints come from the dynamic between our titular characters- ok, I know I'm very biased (I mean you can see it), but I came to the show primarily for their relationship. It doesn't even feel drama-fueled, just that they kinda... can't be arsed. I'm torn because on the one hand, they're unhealthily codependent and this separation is probably a good thing, but on the other... it doesn't feel natural? I'm not sure if that's the right word- it's like, season 4 had them practically joint at the hip, but all that's suddenly flung out the window. It just kinda feels like this "i got better things to do" vibe from both of them and its strange. The only time they both got a solo adventure (I'm classifying "solo" as an adventure where they spent a significantly large portion of time together, without the other family members) was in the sperm ep and Thanksgiving ep. And, well, in the Thanksgiving ep Morty felt like a side character in his own show, and the sperm ep... um. Yeah. I don't think it's AS bad as people were saying, but I was cringing the whole time (the second hand embarrassment for Morty was so strong I had to turn off the episode multiple times and return to it. It's just like- godammit MORTY). And I think there's good reason those two seemed to be the most disliked episodes overall. They're the ones RaM spend the most time together and it's... meh. Meh? Meh. I don't mean to say the season overall is bad (it has loads of good points, and its amazing for Smith family as a whole) just that if we're talking specifically about the dynamic between these two? Yeah, I wouldn't recommend a single episode from this season so far to use as an example of their relationship.

/ / /

There's one thing this season has been pretty good at, though. And it's showing us what happens when Rick is alone.

And that brings me to the finale.

"Who is Rick without Morty?"

Well... we already know the answer to that. Pathetic. Sad. Lonely.

This season has been phenomenal in humbling Rick. (And trust me I'm happy for it- every time someone beats the crap outta this shitty old man I'm like YES!!! IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES!). Ep 1 had his "nemesis" clearly besting him, ep 2 had Beth making constant digs (love her) and overall pointing out his extreme callousness and cruelty towards even himself(ves). Ep 3- when Morty shows interest in a girl and ditches him (like seriously it's not like he's moving out, chill) he immediately goes on a bender and develops a deep attachment to the first person he can (wearing yellow, funnily enough). Ep 4, he devotes himself to becoming an "honest man" for his new child, only for it to instantly be taken away from him. Ep 5 highlights how RICK is the asshole for making fun of and taking advantage of someone well-meaning and honest, if "simple", and how literally not cool that is. Ep 6 has his crazy rivalry with the president, and they both get smacked down a couple pegs for that. Ep 7 shows what happens when he allows himself to get carried away, and that he can end up driving everyone else away in the process (lucky they still wanted to save his ass when he needed them). And episode 8? Hooooo boy. Episode. 8. We see a direct parallel in Birdperson with Morty, and the whole "Rick and [insert] 100 years!" Rick has few people he cares about, arguably only one or two that he truly devotes himself to, but when he does, boy does he go HARD. We see younger Rick, optimistic, energetic, friendly and hopeful. And we see all of that crushed in minutes. Rick is desperate for a companion, someone to see the stars with. He needs someone there, someone he can trust and rely on to stay. Someone like Morty. So without Morty, who is Rick?

No one.

And the thing is, Morty doesn't need Rick anymore. Not like Rick needs him. In season 1, Morty was this bright-eyed kid who was new to the cosmos and the multiverse, who needed his grandpa there with him as they explored all these places together. But that's not him anymore. That's not them.

The promo has Morty using the portal gun to go somewhere w/o Rick's permission (i like to think it's boob world lol). It doesn't matter to me as much where he's going, as much as he's doing it alone. He doesn't just not need Rick there, he doesn't want him.

(Also correct me if im wrong but I've missed that sweet portal gun so much. I think the last ep was like- the first time this season we saw it).

Morty's response to Rick? "Replace me!". And wow. Wow. WOW. Morty doesn't give a FUCK! I think Rick thinks that because he's so smart, that he can offer so much, that Morty will come crawling back, and I don't think he will.

Hopes for the finale! Hmm. I mean, I definitely hope "evil" Morty makes a reappearance, haha. I think we all do tbh ;). I want to see some Morty development too, this season has been very Rick-centric (not that there's anything wrong with that!) so I wanna see what's in store for Our Boy. I really hope we get to see the Citadel again, and see the state it's in, but I doubt it. We know something super big is in store, it's just a question of what? Other hopes I have is some Summer + Beth action (please let them team up Im BEGGING) and Jerry too ahaha. I'd love if some other side characters made an appearance as well. Oh- I'm definitely expecting a dramatic cliffhanger at the end of the first half leading to the second half, with the kind of angsty music that leads into the credits (pls that shit is so good (OH WAIT imagine if it was like, for the damaged coda, but like- the chopin version or smth so it could be more subtle maybe bruhhhh)). Ok haha, maybe that's asking too much, the writers made it clear in the story train ep that they weren't gonna do that big dramatic showdown (... unless 👀). Oh, I'd also love some Premium Angst too, like someone getting kidnapped/nearly dying (like ACTUALLY nearly dying). These stakes better be so damn high I could spear a man on them! OH, also I remember androgynousblackbox (is that right? I hope it is) mentioned something along the lines that they could be driving Rick and Morty apart this season in order to have them come back together stronger than ever in an explosive finale, which, I'm strongly hoping for myself.

Thanks if you made it this far! If you have any thoughts on or hopes of your own for the finale please feel free to share! :D