#i realize this reads like a conspiracy theory but it just makes too much sense

[edenfenixblogs]

Hello, as a non-Jewish person I have read Night because of your posts. I am not very good at articulating my thoughts, and if anything I say brings up questions for you I will try and answer them. The beginning where there is a sense of hope, is so awful because it just constantly gets worse and worse. The worsening of the regulations while the people of his village tell themselves that it is not too bad, but it is terrible, right from the first limitation, and even before it, all the events that led to it.“German laborers were going to work. They would stop and look at us with no surprise” (100), “And the spectators observed those emancipated creatures ready to kill for a piece of bread”(101). This dehumanization, I wonder how did the German citizens live with it? This sentiment continues on to this day, and yet it is dismissed so easily. “I was sixteen” His relationship with his religion is hurt so much, this general feeling of hopelessness that other people around him also feel, “Just like Rabbi Eliahu’s son, I had not passed the test”. He feels such guilt, he tries so hard to help his father, even as he is starving himself.

While I read this book, sometimes I thought that whatever is happening in this book was not that bad. Sometimes they would get a thicker soup and that would make him happy. How awful is that? For this to be normal for him. For this to not be unusual to me. In the stories of the Holocaust that I have learned, these things are not unfamiliar, the starvation, the apathy of other civilians, the death marches. His story has been categorized in my mind as another set of terrible things that were done to a Jewish person during the Holocaust. His story, every single atrocity that was done to him, I can not imagine properly, yet I only feel an undefinable upset over what happened to him. I think there is something wrong with that? I have very recently discovered that I am, in fact, antisemitic, from your posts and someone else that also realized their antisemitism (which you pointed out), and am trying to outgrow it. I am concerned that my reaction to this book is greatly affected by antisemitism. I can’t tell, am I telling myself that his suffering was ok? Am I? In the book, there are often mentions of Jewish culture that I do not know of. For example, “Shavuot” and the New Year being in summertime. I understand that these are google-able questions, but I was wondering if you have resources for a general introduction into Jewish culture and history? I hope by learning more I can dismantle my antisemitism. If you know a better way to do so, I would appreciate if you could let me know! Thank you for the recommendation to read Night, I will read All But My Life next. I am sorry if my concern over my antisemitism reads as shallow, I do not know how else to express it.

Friend, I am SO PROUD OF YOU and SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU!!!!!

I have said repeatedly that all journeys begin somewhere. More people are antisemitic than are not antisemitic, because that’s how systemic oppression works. You have been taught to hate me.

I thank you for seeing our shared humanity and working to unlearn the harmful things you know.

1. How did the Germans live with the dehumanization? The same way people are living with the dehumanization of Jews now. German antisemitism was deeply tied to antisemitic concepts and tropes that long predated Hitler. These tropes and conspiracy theories had been floating around Europe for a very long time. Furthermore, they have never gone away. All the old tropes and conspiracy theories are resurfacing in the internet age, because the Holocaust only temporarily shamed antisemites, but not enough significant cultural shifts occurred to stop it from rising again.

2. “…sometimes I thought that whatever was happening was not that bad…” I think I see what you are saying. I don’t know your age or where you are from, so I’m not sure if you’ve ever dealt with these kinds of feelings before, let alone how to articulate them — or how to do so in English. But you seem to be horrified by what is happening but you also seem to feel guilt that you find moments of relief in the horrible times as well. I don’t think that makes you a bad person. I just think that makes you a person. The human mind is not built to comprehend trauma on the scale seen during The Holocaust. It instinctively tries to find moments of reprieve that prove things aren’t that bad. And, to be fair, Judaism applauds this. It is a very Jewish idea that we should always look for moments of joy even when our hearts are steeped in misery. Because life is joy. And it is sometimes impossible to wrap our minds around how joyless life can be, and often was for Jews during this time. But your instinct to recognize the impulse to say “well, this day/moment/experience wasn’t so bad” and correct yourself to say, “actually this is a horrific terrible thing that just wasn’t as bad as that other horrific terrible thing that just happened” instead is a good instinct. One of the reasons the Holocaust occurred was because both Jews and non-Jews gave in to this instinct to minimize suffering. Jews minimized our own suffering and clung to hope until it was too late too late to fight back successfully. From the moment we were told to register on lists and wear stars and get on trains, we all should have fought. We should have fought louder and more to condemn Hitler while he was on the rise and to shame those who would vote for him. But ultimately, we were still outnumbered terribly and nothing we did could have stopped the horrors that followed if non-Jews didn’t support us. Non-Jews, of course, bare the true guilt and responsibility for the Holocaust. They refused to question their own hatred. They turned a blind eye to the rising antisemitism. They abandoned their friends in need. They complied with hostile forces who threatened them in order to betray the Jews around them.

Your job as a non-Jew is to never repeat those mistakes. Never let an instance of antisemitism go unremarked on. Ever. And learn what antisemitism looks like. Refuse to ever let it exist or ignored in your presence.

Everyone likes to pretend they would do this, but very few ever do. The reality is that some people hate Jews so much, they will stop being your friend for defending us. And to be a good person, you have to be willing to let those people leave your life if they are unwilling to let go of their hate and learn to do better. The reality is that, at some point, you may very well be asked to choose to reject a friend for the sake of the safety of Jews you have never and will never meet. The good news is that this is not the case the majority of the time!

Most people want to consider themselves good people. And most people want the approval of their peer groups.

Your job is to steer the attitude of your peer group away from antisemitic thinking and toward peace and deconstruction of hateful systemic antisemitism—rather than allowing your peer group to steer you toward the comforting familiarity of Jew-hatred.

3. “…I have recently discovered that I am antisemitic…” I forgive you. As I said, most people are. I draw a distinction between someone who is antisemitic and someone who is an antisemite. You have harmful and negative opinions about Jews because of the systemic bigotry you have been surrounded by your whole life. But this hatred has not become your identity. You recognize this hatred as a part of you that must be discarded. Antisemitism is something you have, not something you are. And you are doing the right things to make sure you stop being antisemitic. This, to me, means you are not an antisemite. If you give up and stop caring about Jews and unlearning these harmful thought patterns, that would make you an antisemite. Because that would mean you are comfortable folding the antisemitism you possess into your identity and sense of self. It seems to me you do not wish to do this. And that means you’re growing and changing for the better. And that is beautiful.

4. “I am concerned that my reaction to this book is affected by antisemitism.” Yeah it probably is. But so is most people’s reaction to this book. That’s the point. Your being willing to confront that is what is important. It is about looking at the places where you lose empathy for Jews, asking yourself why, and then fixing the reason you find.

5. “Am I telling myself his suffering was ok?” I think you’re doing the opposite. I think you’re re-sensitizing yourself to something you were de-sensitized to. That is difficult and admirable.

6. Regarding Jewish culture:

6.a. “Shavuot” is a Jewish holiday. It is the anniversary of the day G-d gave the Torah to the Israelites. In general, a good way to familiarize yourself with stuff like this is to look for resources about Jewish holidays and what they mean. Hebcal offers short summaries of each Jewish holiday that you can import into your phone calendar and learn about as they happen. Wikipedia has a page about Jewish holidays that you can explore. So does the Jewish Virtual Library.

6.b. Jewish culture is vast and impossible to summarize simply. I would recommend starting with the Wikipedia Page on Jewish Culture and exploring whatever seems interesting to you. You’ll never learn it all and that’s ok! I’ve never met a Jew who knows it all either! We have so many subcultures all over the world shaped by unique experiences in diaspora. The most important thing to take away is that no matter how far apart we are or how differently we practice, we are all one people whose goal is to love our fellow humans and do our best to make the world a better place. This is called Tikkun Olam, which means repairing the world. This in itself is a huge concept. But it all relates to making the world better for one another.

I think you are doing a beautiful and amazing thing. And you, by choosing to remove hate from your mind and your actions, are actively making the world a better place. You are repairing some of the damage done by systemic antisemitism.

You are doing Tikkun Olam. And that, in every possible situation, is the best thing you can ever do. Thank you, @JellyMarbles

[lu-is-not-ok]

horrid thought i had: if your theory on k corp hong lu being semi-conscious during stasis is right, does that not mirror carmen during lobotomy corporation?

...

Wait. Hold on. Wait. Wait hold on.

Ok, so here's the thing: For a while now I've already had a suspicion that Hong Lu's deal is like, way more important than he lets on.

This might sound like a conspiracy Game Theory Matpat rant, but here me out.

First of all, Hong Lu has this weird tendency to break patterns in much less obvious ways than the other suspicious Sinners, to the point it's been driving me insane?

Like.

Okay.

First.

Remember those promo PVs of each Sinner? And how each of them ended on a glimpse of their trauma and All of them either directly referenced a potentially traumatic event or had the Sinner sound distraught? Except for Hong Lu, who doesn't sound in any way distressed like the others did, and then after the game logo is revealed he asks if something he said was weird.

Like, sure, it does make sense for him to say that in context of what he says during that video, but isn't it so fucking weird that the one Sinner with a section in his promo that seems slightly off is also the one who asks if anything he said during that section was weird?

Second.

You know those intro segments during the prologue, that are also on the official limbuscompany.com website? The ones that offer managerial instructions for each Sinner?

Pay close attention to those. For every Sinner, these instructions specify how to deal with that specific Sinner's eccentricities.

Don't show Gregor your disgust. Wait for Rodya's bad mood to pass. Give Sinclair positive reinforcement. Wait patiently for Yi Sang to finish thinking. Look Ishmael's way for sound advice, but don't break her trust. Understand Heathcliff is simple-minded and contact HR if he causes problems. Play along with Don's Fixer act. Don't make Ryoshu breed personal resentment towards you. Give clear and concise commands to Meursault. Give Outis short replies of agreement but keep an eye on her. Simply nod and get it over with when conversing with Faust.

...But then there's Hong Lu's. Which says nothing how to deal with his eccentricities, but rather to not let Other Sinners get physical with him over them. It's not about keeping him in line, it's about keeping other people's reactions to him in line.

I want to note this especially because several other Sinners break patterns in their introductions as well. Meursault's is one sentence. Ryoshu and Outis have a warning. Don Quixote's particulars include a [REDACTED] on the website. Faust's directly asks the manager to fuck around and find out. However, the way Hong Lu's intro instructions break the pattern is the most subtle out of all of them, to the point I genuinely did not realize that was the case until I had read all of them over multiple times.

Third.

Hong Lu's Base E.G.O animation. If you watch all of the Base E.G.O animations in a row, you'll notice that for all of them, the Sinners start already in frame... Except for Hong Lu, who visibly jumps into the frame from off-screen.

Now, you could argue that, technically, Don runs into her animation from off-screen as well, however I think there is a bit of a difference here. Don's animation is too quick to see her actually run in. We see she's not there for maybe a frame, before she pops with an animation that implies she had just run in and needs to break her momentum. This is unlike Hong Lu's, whom we Actively See descend from Off-Screen.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking.

That I am coping. That these are coincidences. That I'm looking too deeply into things.

However. Here's a connection that I just recently realized, that has been Fucking Me Up.

Mild spoilers for Canto IV and like the first two chapters or so of Dream of the Red Chamber, if anyone cares.

You know how Limbus Company has this... fixation on stars? There's the whole thing with Dante following a star, stars granting wishes, people turning into weird beings from wishing to be stars, and there's this general connection to the sky and space because of Demian also doubling as a reference to The Little Prince.

And then something weird hit me.

See, Dream of the Red Chamber starts with a bit of a backstory to the jade that would later be reincarnated into Bao-yu. You see, it was one of the many stones used by a godess to create the sky. However, this one specific jadestone ended up being the only one not used in that creation, which then led to it feeling horrible about itself, which then led to a monk and a taoist deciding to have that stone reincarnate as a human and live through a human life, kickstarting the rest of the novel.

I'm like, heavily simplifying this, but that's the gist of how that whole thing starts.

Which. Made me think. A jadestone that was part of the ones meant to build the sky, but ended up being left unused. The sky. Stars. Hong Lu being seemingly named after the jade rather than Bao-yu directly.

Holy shit there's no way they won't reference this in some way, right? Right?

So, now imagine me, at my fucking wit's end, having the biggest crackpot theory brewing in my mind.

And you send this ask comparing K Corp Hong Lu to Carmen.

I am going insane.

[maybeimamuppet]

What are some random headcanons about Janis you have?

HOHOOO DUDE YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON

disclaimer these are all based on the musical version of her and from a list i made to base her personality off of before i started writing in 2021 so some have changed and whatnot anyhoo

-she met regina in ballet class when they were three. they went to the same preschool too (but different elementary schools)

-the ‘on wednesdays we wear pink’ also started in preschool

-she started working out in her senior year for the SOLE purpose of clocking bigots with as much force as possible

-her dad died when she was four (i haven’t included it in any of my fics but he died from some heart disease kinda shit bc why not)

-she’s GREAT at english, okay at history and piss poor at math and science

-in college she starts dyeing the blonde bits of her hair funky colors with temporary dye and then just before she graduates she cuts it all off and has shoulder-length hair for a solid 10 years lol

-she reads about alien conspiracy theories in her spare time

-she has a WILD sweet tooth

-she’s clumsy AF

-her dad was french so she actually speaks french fluently but pretends not to so she can stay in an easier class (and also stay in damian’s class)

-she’s lactose intolerant

-she refuses to acknowledge this

-she sent flowers to regina after the bus without putting her name on them

-she and kevin have a secret handshake

-she steals damian’s and cady’s jackets a lot, most of the time without realizing. and cady’s doesn’t fit so she uses it as a blanket most of the time

-she’s terrified of needles so she gets all her tattoos and piercings on impulse when she gets random bouts of courage

-she’s secretly kind of a horse girl

-the blonde hair used to be all blonde bc she dyed it when she was plastic but now it’s grown out and she just plays it off as part of her lewk ✨✨

-she’s wildly claustrophobic

-afraid of lots of little stupid things (geese, nougat, etc)

-likes horror movies bc they make her feel tough

-her birthday is october 17 :3

-she does yarn crafts (like knitting and crochet and cross stitch and shit) to get her angries out bc stabby stabby

-she and damian were always friends but she had to live a double life of her own to keep him safe from the plastics

-GIRL CAN DAYUUUUUUNCE. damian choreographs random routines all the time and makes her learn them so he has someone to do them with. janis secretly likes it

-she collects paintbrushes. she has a paintbrush graveyard in a shoebox for all the ones that are too frayed to use

-she always has paint somewhere. it never makes sense.

-post canon she and gretchen are workout buddies

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Well, yes of course they're like the Q nutters. Sorry, I don't think I was clear before. What I mean is, why do they think it makes Chris look bad if his understudy is on instead of him? Are crappies so dumb they don't realize understudies are for things like if the actor is sick, has an emergency, another pressing obligation, etc.? It's like they have no sense of reality or logic (but then any sense of it they had was always tenuous at best). That aside, listening to the podcast brings up the exact same people Mel always mentions in these when asked who she's closest to - Chy and David. Notice the very conspicuous absence of mention of a certain actress she worked with, yet never names. You'd think crappies would realize by now maybe, just maybe it's because they were co-workers, and Melissa is actually married to her husband and has a child with him. This level of delusion this many years (I've lost count) after the show is over is just frightening.

Long story short, yes, they think like that and they say anything to make him look bad. Even if it is bullshit and normal people facepalm while reading this bullshit.

As I said and you too, they are like QAnon idiots - conspiracy theories etc. They won't admit they are wrong because they invested too much their time and energy for that. Imagine spending a lot of your free time to lurk into someone's you don't even know life, staring at the photos, analysing every word from an interview, spying on every activity blah blah. It's this or admitting they are fucking idiots. And believe me, people HATE to admit they were wrong.

Well, she just mentions people that are important to her. Facts.

[gravedigginbbydoll]

Y’all, I really wanna see Eddie x Weird Girl

Like

• she collects bones and taxidermy

• she plays dnd and reads comics and novels

•she moves to Hawkins bc they advertise having “Hell on Earth” due to this massive earthquake that traumatized the town

• she works with Eddie at a music store, catching his attention when she talks about metal, blowing his mind when she mentions metal from other countries

• she invites him over and he immediately realizes she wasn’t just quiet, shes weird

• she has a cast of someone’s teeth, a bunch of vintage oddities, and bones scattered around her room

• she has a mega old record player, posters of weird movies, and memorabilia for horror films she loves

• Eddie is intrigued by all the knickknacks and random shit she has, staring at a teacup with a bunch of bizarre symbols in it, right next to a plethora of crystals

• he’s used to weird collections what with Wayne’s love for hats and mugs but never at this level

•Eddie’s intrigued by her flowy shawls and dark makeup, her obsession with the macabre

• he thinks she’s both weird and adorable

• he feeds her obsessions, collections weird rocks for her, learning how to dry flowers for her, buying her odd books and taking her to see weird movies at supposedly haunted theaters

• when he shows her his gnarly and twisted scars from the demo bats, he last expected her to look at him in awe, gingerly touching the spots as her eyes twinkle with amazement and awe

• she praises him as a hero, telling him the scars make him look like a bad ass and he feels a sense of confidence that’s foreign to him

• when she meets the rest of the group, she somehow meshes with them so well

• she talks with Robin about the most random shit like how scary the ocean is bc there’s so much unknown space there

• when she’s high she scoffs at Steve for not believing in aliens when “there’s a whole other dimension and Russian spies, Stevie. You think aliens are the red line?”

• she weirds Nancy out a bit but also makes her laugh with her witty commentary and strange endless knowledge

•Argyle likes getting high with her and talking about conspiracy theories bc she thinks big, but Jonathan can’t hang around too much because he gets super freaked out by how weird the conversations get (I’m talking like…. ‘everything is a simulation and they’re in a truman show watched by big corp and maybe the upside down is just the real world’ weird)

• she loves to be mega protective over the kids and also tell them weird stories, each one less believable than the next

• they hate coming over because she has a collection of “haunted dolls” that make Lucas’ skin crawl

•Max loves her stories and voice, also laughing at how unnerved she makes Lucas

• When she meets El, she calls her “lil alien” and knits her a hat to keep her head warm since she’s gotten so used to her hair

• basically she’s a weirdo, but everyone loves her and is also freaked out by her

• also see: “Does anyone wanna see this weird ring I made that has my wisdom tooth in it? I drilled a diamond into it too!!”

[boundinparchment]

Deus In Absentia - VII

The first time was a coincidence. The second time was a fluke. But the third time? You were starting to think it was fate. Or, more likely, a calculated trap. Reposted from my previous blog, @/zhonglis-empty-wallet AO3

You had questions.

A lot of them.

A third of them were why you allowed and enabled this habit of drink and food consumption near delicate materials.

The entire book only took a few hours to read and as you boiled water for the requested tea, your mind spun so hard, you couldn’t see straight.

A cycle of violence started by the defiance and rejection of the Heavenly Principles, by straying too far from the path of destiny.

But how could one stray from destiny when, in fact, destiny itself was a lie?  Couldn’t one have been destined to stray from the intended path to begin with?  Closing the loop precisely by thinking one was not following it, ultimately fulfilling the very end one didn’t wish to?

And that was only a single part in the larger picture.  A Veil between Teyvat and the rest of the universe, powered by the Ley Lines; Teyvat was nothing more than an inverted pocket dimension.  One in which the demon gods were the kindest, playing the role of wardens, while their celestial masters lorded over all and sought to maintain the status quo of ignorance and compliance through violence and genocide.

There were whole other universes out there beyond the stars.

But the very stars in the sky were nothing but a fucking lie .

If this was true.  Then again, why wouldn’t it (couldn’t it) be?

The kettle screeched and you were brought back to the task at hand.  Dottore’s omission on what tea was preferable was one that would make anyone else falter to the point of inaction. Asking him was tantamount to offering oneself up on a silver platter for his next experiment.  It interrupted his workflow to deal with such a mundane thing.  But for you, the choice was obvious; he wanted to discuss the knowledge shared and for those occasions; something strong and caffeinated.

Such information wasn’t exactly in the purview of your title of Archivist, not really.  But it helped and made life, such as it was, bearable.  Not when it came to preservation of documents, granted.  At least most of the priceless stuff was already hermetically sealed away.  You saw to that months ago.

In hindsight, lacking such attention to detail would have made everything far better to begin with.  Then you wouldn’t have been swept up into this and your head wouldn’t swimming with the knowledge that everything about the very world you lived in was a goddamn fucking lie.

You arranged the tray and made your way to Dottore’s private study, where he had retreated hours prior.  When you nudged the door open after knocking and announcing yourself, he cast a single glance towards the door and then pushed whatever paperwork he was looking at aside.  At least he was self-aware.

“You’ve read it, then,” Dottore stated as you began pouring tea for both of you.

You flicked your gaze up at him, finding a wicked smile on his face and a dark gleam in his eyes.  It was the same look he got when he realized one of his “specimens” was frightened or when he had someone cornered.  Something between ravenous hunger and joyful pride.

“I have,” you said, turning your attention back to the porcelain before you.

“And what do you make of it?”

Words sprang to mind: conspiracy, lies, heresy, nonsense.  It contradicted everything accepted as truth in the known world, even the very Archon the Fatui served.  The hypothesis (for it couldn’t be a theory, theories required more concrete evidence) made sense on paper, all laid out and organized in an easy-to-digest structure with supporting evidence and sources.  

“An inverted pocket dimension tucked away at the roots of the World Tree and ruled by demon gods that are just as much prisoners of the Heavenly Principles as the humanity they rule, with a false sky and supposed predetermination” you said at last.  “It sounds like a tale from Yae Publishing House, truthfully.”

You, of all people, would know; you were in the business of books, after all.

“I understand the concept well enough,” you continued.  “But where do the Fatui and the Tsaritsa’s plan come into play?  As far as the events of the book go, the Cryo Archon was…”

Dottore slammed a hand on the desk, the tray and tea set rattling.  You flinched, glared, and then caught yourself, suddenly fascinated with the sugar bowl.  

“ Nasha Tsaritsa and her fellow Archons were given no choice but to take the action they did.  It is the nature of Ascension, of owning a Gnosis.”

He rose from his seat and began pacing.  What you had hoped would have been a short, civil conversation clearly sparked something in his soul (did he have one of those?); the more he spoke, the more animated he became.

“The Archons are enforcers of a will that is not their own.  They were not acting in Celestia’s interest; rather, they were coerced to do so.  We believe the Archons to be all-powerful, that allogenes are selected by them to represent their ideals.  But everything in this world has a price , Archivist.  Even one as brilliant as myself has not found a proper way to fix that for Delusions.”

You thought back to the text.  Dottore was referring to the evidence pointing out that several of the Archons, the Tsaritsa and Morax among them, wanted to leave Khaenri’ah, the Godless Ones, in peace.  Their hands were forced when Khaenri’ah struck first.  Heathens stepping foot in Monstadt would only give people ideas and when the Archon War was finally coming to a close…senseless slaughter was no one’s wish.  

You could understand the ideas and actions of the Eclipse Dynasty.  They were already paying a steep price for rejecting Celestia’s chokehold, living separate from the rest of the nations.  A land where life sprang from nothing, a tool of survival twisted into a weapon of destruction.  The land was far underground, left with nothing but the knowledge of the world above and what they didn’t have. 

“Was it Khemia, what you did to Krupp?” you found yourself asking.

“Not quite, one needs to be incredibly attuned to the earth for that.  As far as I am aware, it truly only works for those from the Godless Land, in either birth or another connection.  There is a fundamental that those like you or I cannot master.  The First mentioned as such…”

That took you aback.  You’d met the First, Pierro, briefly; stars for eyes and a coat with tails that held a galaxy inside of it.  He was…?

“So, Khaenri’ah tore a hole in the Veil Between Worlds, exposed the lie, and then was just…”

“Obliterated.  They refused to heed to Celestia to begin with and when one is in direct opposition to an otherwise totalitarian rule…it makes perfect sense strategically, Archivist.  Especially when you consider they had no need for Visions…no need to sacrifice anyone at all except their Field Tillers and the shadow creatures of Gold’s…enhanced beings, standing in for their humans…imagine, if you would, the power in one with a foot in both worlds, human ingenuity but a machine’s strength, far beyond that of a mortal…they might have won if they’d thought it through.”

He was lost in his thoughts, fingers combing through his hair as a grin broke out on his face.

“ Nasha Tsaritsa lost so much in the Cataclysm.  So did humanity.  We worship Vision users but in truth their Visions regulate the Ley Lines, powering the very Veil Khaenri’ah once tore.  The tears still exist, if you know where to look.  That brat Tartaglia would know.”

“My question remains the same, Lord Harbinger.  Why learn of this truth unless the Fatui, unless Nasha Tsaritsa ,” you were careful to use his wording, our Tsaritsa , “are taking action?”

He would have remained at the Akademiya if he wished to simply study , you knew.  He’d said as much when his assistants dawdled, when he was stuck waiting for material, coaxing information, or in a logical loop from previous sources that resulted in broken flasks and sleepless nights.  The Akademiya was bogged down by inaction, too focused on the gathering of knowledge to make any damn use of it.

Dottore looked at you again, a manic smile and jubilation dancing his eyes.

“We will take all of the chess pieces back and put them back into play, or in other words, collect the Gnoses that Celestia loves so much.  Find the Genesis of it all and free fate itself.  We will tear down the Veil and never again let the truth be hidden from us.   And then at last, we still bring down the sky and hand humanity back control.  What say you, Archivist?”

He stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The destruction of everything.  If this was known outside of these four walls, outside of the Palace, it would mean another Cataclysm.  Assuming you understood, this meant that the Harbingers were not just seeking the Gnoses for power but to locate the Genesis Pearl…a newborn star…

Hope.

They were going to bring hope back to the masses, stop the cycle.  Do what those in power failed to do so long ago.  How far you’d come from your tiny shop, selling books to allow escapism, widen horizons…wasn’t this so much better, you reasoned.   

“What can I assist with, Lord Harbinger?”

Dottore let out a laugh that curdled your blood and set it afire all at once.

_____________________________

Other assistants were given tasks you took on in Krupp’s absence as well as your other projects.  You never had staff below you before but you could only hope you conveyed your plans and intentions accurately; after all, you always ran the shop yourself with hardly any help, and managing people was not the same as managing a supply chain.

You weren’t the only liaison between the Harbingers but you were probably the most aware , you came to realize.  Others in a similar position either feigned a lack of knowledge or were kept further in the dark.  Should you have been honored by the truth that Dottore thrust upon your shoulders, a sharing of a burden?  Or was ignorance, to the other Harbingers, a kindness?

La Signora’s return from Mondstadt brought a hum of excitement to the Palace.  One Gnosis obtained.  Rumors swirled among the lower ranks about how she punched the Anemo Archon in the stomach, centuries of grievances in a single blow, and ripped the chess piece from him as if it was nothing but a flower amongst weeds.  She would not even step close to the basement doors for the initial testing, much to Dottore’s frustration.  From the Second’s mumbling, you gathered that the lab was too similar to the Akademiya for her comfort, something your commanding officer couldn’t wrap his head around.

“It is a well known fact that one left the Akademiya in search of a more conducive environment, I fail to understand her logic,” was the final word on that.

When you gazed upon the Eighth, you realized perhaps it had nothing to do with comfort at all, for she met Dottore shot for shot in a verbal spar.  She was cold, distant; she needed to be.  It wasn’t clear why, for her facade seemed to melt for a moment whenever the Eighth laid eyes on the Lovers, but it was clearly for everyone’s best interest.

The Lovers, Arrleccino and Columbina, were inseparable.  Even if the Tsaritsa separated them for missions, they always found their way back to one another.  Magnets.  You preferred Dottore’s parallel to particles sped up only to collide, resulting in their own destruction.  As loyal as they were to the cause, it was their subordinates who did their reports and paperwork and made all preparations.  One needed to essentially run their own business if they worked below either of the Lovers.  

Which was true of your presence alongside Dottore, you supposed, but at least he was distracted by the cause itself…

“Let them have their peace,” Pierro often said.  “For we may never know what comes next.”

The First was intimidating.  After all, he was the Tsaritsa’s most trusted Harbinger and responsible for recruiting Signora and Dottore, to say nothing of managing the very strings of the very plan you were now privy to.  Pierro was the sole Harbinger with pupils in the shape of stars, a reflection of the Abyss dancing in his coat, the tails curling into almost impossible, comical swirls.  Although he wore the designs of what was commonly known as a Jester, he was anything but a fool.

It was no wonder he was chosen by the Tsaritsa, how their goals aligned so perfectly.  Change was necessary for survival in this world, until the heavens could be ripped asunder and the wheel broken.

Pantalone, Tartaglia, and Scaramouche, were the only ones you ever saw down in Haersys willingly.

The Ninth often needed a second pair of eyes when it came to double-checking balance sheets; who better than another who understood data plain as day, especially when they shared a lack of a God’s Eye?  Dottore would negotiate a larger monthly stipend in exchange for the trouble and you tried to ignore that most of that stipend ended up on your paysheet.

The Eleventh was…well…far from the innocence his alias portrayed.  Cunning, unpredictable, and often the reason for additional requisitions regarding parts.  And yet loyal as loyal could be.  He was helpful, Dottore mentioned once; he found weaknesses in his machines and his toys and allowed Dottore to improve his work.  Tartaglia was as bloodthirsty as they came, a reliable warrior who would stop at nothing to accomplish his goal.  Despite the lack of light and life in his sea-blue eyes, he wore his intentions clear as day.  You could appreciate that when the rest of this world you were now a part of was nothing more than cloaks and daggers for the greater good.

You would never quite forget the curious tilt of Tartaglia’s head when he first caught sight of you through the open doorway as he passed by and the, “Huh…” that crossed his lips.

The Sixth never said a word to anyone except Dottore when he came into Haersys.  Most of their encounters were arguments.  You vaguely understood that the K in the papers from the Archon Residue files referred to someone called Kunikuzushi, a prototype for the Raiden Shogun.  As close to an Archon as possible with none of the power.  The parallel was impossible to ignore.  It was all but confirmed when you overheard the Second mutter something about a puppet in need of strings.

You experienced Scaramouche’s inability to stop running his mouth first-hand as you waited outside of the Tsaritsa’s throne room.  Dottore had a private audience, as all Harbingers did, but as of late you were never far from his side.  He disliked being without his Archivist, he said; you were reliable, anticipatory, loyal.  The little dance your heart did at the revelation should have frightened you but you enjoyed being useful, being his.

“So, you’re the one he’s always on about,” Scaramouche spat as he entered the foyer.  “You’re hardly anything special.”

He was one to talk, you wanted to shoot back.  But it did no one any good to earn the ire of the other Harbingers, especially for an underling like you.  You held no rank, exception though you were.

“He is too devoted to the Tsaritsa.  You shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking there is room in his heart; he doesn’t have one.   She has given him everything he has ever wanted and the means to achieve it.”

You kept your expression blank, hoping the mask you wore hid the inevitable heat searing your cheeks.  A part of you wished he’d opted for something embarrassing but Scaramouche avoided painting the pictures, carnal and needy, that lived in your head lately.  It was too obvious, you supposed; better to go beyond and crush potential and hope.  

Scaramouche patted your cheek in mock sympathy and then laughed when he realized his hand was wet with a single tear.  He scoffed at your emotional expression, suppressed though it was.

“Someone like him could never care about any other living being except the Tsaritsa.  Especially someone as sniveling as you.  Better hope he doesn’t catch you crying.”

Just as Scaramouche stepped away, the throne room’s doors opened and Dottore strode through.  When he caught sight of the Sixth, he clicked his tongue.

“Don’t you have your own subordinates to harass, Balladeer?” Dottore snapped.

“I was just going.  Remember what I said, Archivist,” Scaramouche cast a last look your way before he turned and walked away, raising a mocking hand in parting as he went.

Dottore’s eyes narrowed as he looked you over, inspecting you.  The question was clearly on his mind but he didn’t ask it; it wasn’t in his nature to bother caring whether someone was well.  After all, he didn’t ask you to come work for him; you were given no choice.

“What did that piece of dross say?”

“It was nothing,” you said as you began walking in the opposite direction of Scaramouche, towards the other entrance to the basement levels.

Dottore caught up to you in a few long strides, taking point, refusing to be led.  He was silent until you both reached the bottom of the steps.  You were about to go your separate ways to continue working, but it was as though something was tugging you, keeping you from walking away from him.  He didn’t need to know; he would find everything carved into your heart when it was inevitably cut from your body in due time.

You turned to walk away, distract yourself, but Dottore spoke first.

“Archivist.”

Your back straightened at his commanding tone and you lingered in the doorway to your study.  Dottore looked at you over his shoulder, his mask obscuring everything except his gaze, a single red eye watching you.

“Do not hide troublesome matters from me in the future.  One should at least be respectful to another’s subordinates if they cannot be respectful among their colleagues.  If he opens his mouth again, tell me; I’ll make sure his next modification is particularly unpleasant.”

Weeks passed in a blur, the Sixth’s hideous encounter forgotten as the Geo Archon’s Gnosis was retrieved and the plans for Inazuma continued on as intended.  

You assisted Dottore with a stubborn piece of machinery and made an inventory of all possible parts as he went along.  This particular device was from the depths of the Chasm, sent just before the mine was sealed off by the Qixing.  You had never seen nor heard anything like it before, a burrowing serpent in the fashion of the Ruin Gaurds; a Khaenri’ahn mystery.

“Lord Harbinger?”

Dottore made a sound from the other side of the serpent, too occupied to properly speak.

Your curiosity had the better of you.  And you knew, perhaps, it was best left alone.  But doubt had sown itself; it was hard to forget the words spoken to you.  On some level, they pointed out the very thing you wished wasn’t true: how little you knew of the one who hired you, who stole you away from the world.

“How did you end up…” you gestured widely to the cavernous space that always seemed to threaten to swallow everything whole, the ceiling so high the light never reached.

“One was naught but a young scholar at the Sumeru Akademiya when Pierro followed the rumors of my heresy, on the cusp of expulsion and in need of a more conducive work environment,” Dottore said.

He left little room for continuing the conversation.  Like most of his colleagues, he did not like discussing anything other than the tasks at hand, prideful though he was.  The past was nothing to them.  A shell left behind, a husk of who they once were, before the world ripped them asunder.  

But it shaped him, nonetheless.

Dottore avoided your eyes, reaching for a tool and diving back into the Ruin Serpent in an attempt to focus on something, anything else.  You would not get more out of him.  You excused yourself with a bow and determined that the documentation of the Geo Gnosis was a better use of your time than numbly standing there, waiting for an answer to a question you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

You returned to his study hours later to drop off your findings and pick up stray dishes and cups (and leave one behind for the faithful rat that nested near his desk with plenty of morsels).  Before you could begin the task, Dottore caught your wrist, his hands free of his gloves.  His touch was cold.

“One must say something and it is imperative you listen, Archivist.”

It dug at you, the distant way he spoke of himself occasionally.  The rare moments of “I” were a flash of pride, of awareness of himself.  Other times, he spoke as if he were the very machines he worked on, aware that perhaps he missed some of the key components of humanity.  Something gripped your heart and squeezed, something you would rather not put a name to; it only threatened to squeeze harder.

“I was born in a small village on the outskirts of Fontaine, on the border of Sumeru,” he started.  “I have no father; only a deceased mother who taught her son everything she knew about machinery.  When the village became aware that I was modifying animals, she died protecting me.  They drove me out with pitchforks and clubs and torches; they managed to burn half of my face in the process.  I had only an invitation to the Akademiya with me when I arrived in Sumeru.”

He continued, all the while, his red eyes focused on the corner behind you.  Never quite seeing you, looking at you.

“They all thought me mad in the end for my research but no one at the Akademiya considered life to be sacred anyway.  They squandered their youth, their existence, to chase knowledge but never dared to step out of line and figure out their own paths.  Guided sheep who thought they were finding the secrets of the universe.  I pulled back the wool over their eyes and they called me a monster, a madman.”

The hold on your wrist tightened.  But it didn’t frighten you.  Dottore’s other hand reached up and pulled his mask away, revealing scarred flesh.  It never quite healed right, you could tell.  Muscle never repaired itself properly and although he could blink, his eyebrow on the left was not as expressive as the right.

“What do you see, Archivist, when you look at me?”

Ruby eyes finally, finally bore into you.  He waited but for what, you didn’t know.  A wince?  A gasp?  Disgust, horror?  Expectation danced across his face, lips turned into a snarl, a dog defensive of its last meal.

 “Someone who is willing to do the work no one else is.  Someone who was harmed for daring to ask questions that should, rightfully, be asked.  One who has experienced the injustice of this world and seeks to right it.”

Someone who carried a burden alone for longer than they should have , who has not known the kindness this world has to offer, you wanted to continue, but thought better of it.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Pierro, Archivist,” he whispered.

His fingers slipped from your wrist but you didn’t move immediately or pull back from him.  Instead, you reached forward, fingertips grazing his scars tentatively, the skin too smooth beneath your touch.  The silent question in your mind on whether his nerves had ever healed was answered when he closed his eyes and tilted his head towards your touch and for the tiniest second, his face relaxed.

“One such as myself detests lies, no matter how small.  Your candor is appreciated.”

You weren’t sure, exactly, how it happened, but you soon found yourself pressed against the nearest wall, Dottore’s face a hair away from yours.  He brought a hand up to cover yours, warm against his scars, blood red eyes gazing down at you, a predator waiting to strike.

“Never lie to me.”

His words were punctuated by the brush of his teeth against your lip.

“Never,” you promised.

Dottore consumed your very soul for that promise, sealed with a haze of euphoria as the last of the distance between you vanished.  There was no going back now. 

And you would gladly pay the price over and over again, if it meant moments such as this.

[maquisro]

does anyone share my conspiracy theory that netflix’s most recent account sharing crackdown is actually just thinly-veiled retaliation for the WGA and SAG successes?

here is my presentation:

a) this is the first sharing crackdown that has successfully prevented me*, who I will call a “leech user”, from accessing my family’s netflix despite active effort on my part (as someone who is, shall we say, 🏴‍☠️moderately acquainted with dubious maritime conduct🏴‍☠️)

(*the rest of my argument relies on the assumption that my experience is somewhat representative of the wider leech user demographic — I assume at least one person will reach out if that is not the case)

b) the method by which they’re preventing sharing (2-step verification but both devices have to be on the same wifi network) is too simple for them to have just now figured out how to implement it

c) therefore, I propose that netflix has known how to do this for a while, and have simply not had any real motivation to actually pull the trigger — the incessant whining about the burden of account sharing and wringing of their pathetic little hands when their “efforts” “fail” to kick out that many leech users, is all, to some extent, an act*

(*to what end? science has yet to find the answer. “probably shareholder related”, he said, confidently, as though he were on Succession)

d) HOWMSTEVER — if netflix now has to deal with paying residuals each individual time something is streamed, suddenly all the streaming done by leech users is now Actively An Issue. so. crackdown.

e) so fewer individual streams = fewer residuals = less lost profit on netflix’s part — sounds like the kind of business decision that makes sense to the world of capitalism! but like. it’s inherent. this is the same business decision netflix was making before, the one that caused strikes in the first place, and to sneak right back into it after making a public show about how they’re “no longer” going to be screwing artists over, is absolutely a retaliatory action. referencing their “ongoing” “issue” with account sharing as plausible deniability is ridiculous and insulting

f) side note: the timing is also sus

g) if I were a cartoonishly evil corporation, I would create a MUCH longer gap between the new union contracts and my retaliation — it is NOT well-disguised right now

h) however, what all of netflix’s “attempts” to prevent account sharing have in common is what appears to be a fervent and genuinely held opinion on netflix’s part that booting leech users will somehow cause them to convert to paying account holders. they seem to be so invested in this goal that they’ll hold onto it even when it seems to contradict their other goals

i) now comes the timing thing — a few weeks after kicking the leech users (so as to let the tempers cool off), now we have the new A:TLA live action trailer + release date. very well-loved show, very active fanbase for a 3 season kids’ cartoon that recently turned 18, broad appeal to fairly disparate groups of people who are likely to be in the leech user demographic. I could go on but I’m tired

j) so if netflix is convinced that it’s vitally important to convert leech users into paying users, it makes sense to boot them right before hyping material that might ACTUALLY cause them to convert. I, for one, would seriously consider subscribing in order to watch it if I wasn’t certain that life will uhhh… 🏴‍☠️find a way🏴‍☠️

l) this is the part of the theory where I claim that netflix bumped up the timeline of their union retaliation to work with the A:TLA trailer release so that they could piggyback another use onto the method of their madness

m) and this is the part where I realize I’ve gone through half the alphabet. this is all speculative, these opinions belong solely to the blogger and are in no way representative blah blah blah. I have not re-read this draft ok goodnight*

(*this post written at 3am and queued for a more reasonable time)

[whiskeysmulti]

G O K U D E R A for… you guessed it, Gokudera ((OOC: Vday meme btw))

(     *     VALENTINE’S DAY ALPHABET   !  - accepting!

.Whiskey.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right? I think if he was tasked to do it alone he'd suck at it? If that makes sense. Because I feel like he'd over think it too much and not realize that Haru loves him enough that just spending time with her makes her happy.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words? Oh we've seen just how colorful his vocabulary is sometimes. Honestly, I don't think he's that good with his words, as we've seen with all their fights in canon, but as far as our ship development, he's learning I feel to be a bit softer and more patient sometimes.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not? Fun fact, I always headcanoned that he sucks at it at first because she's his first and he doesn't know what he's doing so they need some practice together, IE: making out. U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken? -gestures vaguely at the anime for making him look like Tsuna's lost puppy- verse dependent as I've mentioned I do RP him as bi or at least curious, originally I had a headcanon that he might have had feelings for Tsuna at some point and not been able to freely express it. But reading into the manga more it came across clearer that it wasn't romantic it was loyalty to his Boss as we've discussed, he's very ingrained with mafia culture and heavily yankee coded (the rebel, the bad boy, the street smart kid, etc.) and Mafia code is actually really homophobic in a lot of cases so I scratched the whole Tsuna was his first love thing in favor of there possibly being a girl in Italy once but it was like first unrequited crush when he was just a kid kind of thing or possibly a girl he met when he was still on the streets and it wasn't too serious, but like that feeling of admiration because she might have been the first to treat him kindly. Haru thus far is the first girl in our verses that he's ever been serious about as we've seen how he reacts to his fan girls and others like Shittopi.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc? NGL he's old fashioned so it would probably be dinner and watching the stars or something with Haru, just something relaxing and peaceful as I don't see him being too big on crowds like at bars and such. He's more likely to invite her over to have dinner and watch conspiracy theory videos in our verse for them honestly.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like? Not in public, as we've discussed on discord, he's not big on PDA. But when they're alone, whoo boy. He's a cuddle bug and will hold her for hours if she needs him to, it's just the macho persona he puts on that makes him kinda "later honey, not in front of the boys" about it. But when they're alone he's the one clinging to her. I even headcanon if he's away from her he takes an extra pillow with him to hold at night because he's used to cuddling her and can't sleep without holding something.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic? Cynic turned romantic if that makes sense. Didn't believe he'd ever be like this until he did get into a relationship. Always thought she was stupid for being such a dreamer, and chasing the 10th, which we revealed in our threads as far as plotting goes was because he wanted her all along and was jealous.

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection? As mentioned, he can be a little slow to catch on and rough with her when people are watching, but when they're alone he's holding her, kissing and cuddling, running his fingers through her hair, gazing in her eyes and so on. Absolute putty in her hands.

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

I just need to get this off my chest:

Just a convo with an old friend of mine and it turns out he is a full blown german putin apologist. And I cannot for the life of me understand why. He himself was born in Ukraine, he's a jew, he is a decent person - why why why?!? The f**** might of this f**** russian propaganda machine is so terrible. I don't think our relationsship will ever be the same again, it makes me so angry and sad at the same time. Like, he literally said invading Ukraine was necessary and that Ze was a currupt a*hole and on and on. I told him he had inhaled too much russian propaganda, then he told me I was repeating "western bullshit". I had to break off the convo at some point, just couldn't handle it anymore.

Please nobody get mad at me, I don't mean to compare my experiences with those of Ukrainians of course.

But I just realized how much this war also affects my own personal life and I just wanna cry.

Sorry for bringing this here, I just didn't know where else to put my story who might understand me :(

Thanks for listening and for running this soul comforting blog Jam!

No need to be sorry!!!

This is a place for all kind of stuff, including ranting and getting things off your chest (heart). :)

And thank you! I'll try my best to provide with my blog something for everyone! :) ♥

And don't worry. I'm sure nobody will get mad at you. And I think it's obvious to everyone reading this that you're not comparing your situations to Ukrainians and that these are two total different things that can co-existent and both things are valid experiences and feelings.

And yes, of course, it also effects everyones life, even if the majority of people who will read this will sit in a safe home, far away from war. But doesn't mean a global thing like this doesn't affect us - no matter if we talk about energy crisis, refugees, having first hand experiences with anti-Ukraine people,... .

And I feel the pain. While, thankfully, the important people in my life support Ukraine, I also know several putin lovers / apologists and / or people who condemn russia but believe the Russian Propaganda.

I can also not understand why, so I feel you.

I know, that Propaganda is very strong and works hard to make sure people believe it and considering for how long the whole world was (and still is) exposed to RP, it of course makes sense that it's now hard to fight against it.

But still...with all the things russia does...I don't get it how people can side with them or just don't see it or won't listen to Ukrainians.

I actually discussed this with @realiv0 when we talk about Propaganda and I think it was her, who mentioned that these people are lost without hope. And, unfortunately, there is some truth to that statement.

Conspiracy theories are most of the times pretty convincing, especially if you already believe other things. They just get more real, every time you read it and people show you "proof". Also, people tend to look for explanations why something happens. And since the real life is often pretty complicated or hard to understand they turn to explanations that seem pretty easy and understandable.

[landofwindandskyscrapers]

10/52 You won't believe this one neat trick!

Or: a peek into my brain as of this writing

So I’m taking a break from my unofficial reviewing of books to document influences on my worldview and personal philosophy.

(I still find it surprising that I ended up with so many blog posts being book reviews. Shows how important reading is to me, I guess)

(Also yay, me using my blog as an actual diary thing 😂)

(I should also make a blog post about me using emojis so much)

The common thread in the concepts I’ll outline is that they’re like pointing out an optical illusion - once you see them, your view on society reorganizes itself because it makes so much damn sense - and you start seeing it everywhere.

A part of me is concerned about this - because searching for A SINGLE UBER TRUTH THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING is a base human failing; it’s why conspiracy theories exists, because it’s comforting to the human mind to imagine a wrong, single and simple reason for how things are the way they are instead of facing the fact that the world is actually complicated.

Still, these ideas seem to serve me well.

First concept chronologically:

The housing market isn’t being taxed enough. Not enough houses are being built. Rents should not be profitable.

To use a quote from the links provided (that also have other links in them to explore in depth):

Georgism is a school of political economy that is really upset about, among other things, the Rent Being Too Damn High. It seeks to liberate labor and capital alike from those who gatekeep access to scarce "non-produced assets," such as land and natural resources, while still affirming the virtues of hard work and free enterprise.

The central idea is that rents - money that is being paid to a private person not for buying a product or service, but just to generally exist - are the root of all evil.

And that rents manifest in the real world as, well, rent coming from owning land or houses the landlord minimally maintains.

Landlords don’t add value to society, but siphon it from the middle and working class to hoard it for themselves - gradually impoverishing everyone while perversely becoming more and more powerful as a result.

To get an idea of what I mean, please realize that a king is the ultimate landowner - with scores of serfs under his unelected control who have to give all the fruits of their labor simply to exist.

And once this was pointed out to me…I kept seeing it everywhere.

See how the housing market works; you either rent, or to buy you get a mortgage which is effectively a rent paid to the bank.

Buying a house if you already own a house is relatively easy, but buying one if you’re poor or middle class is an ordeal.

And this is tied to how stupidly difficult building new houses has been getting for the past fifty years; supply is constrained and prices perpetually go up.

Housing, shelter, is a basic need for everyone.

But government provided housing feels like it’s been going the way of the dodo.

Every country I know of is struggling with houses being more and more unaffordable for its population - and there’s little sign of the situation improving.

The way I know of fighting this is to make taxes on land and improve the housing supply.

Second concept:

We’re not having enough children.

This is a bit depressing.

Having children is a huge cost to the people who have them.

It’s tiring, difficult, sometimes dangerous work that isn’t rewarded by society.

(absence of parenthood is sometimes punished - but it’s not by punishment alone you get people to do things)

It’s a rational decision to not have them.

This sets up societies for horrible doom and failure for the future.

Coupled with the fact most societies (Italy especially) are xenophobic and don’t let in enough immigrants….this is a recipe for failure.

I’ll leave this with a simple population pyramid graph:

Solution: pro-natalist policies with actual teeth. Taxing companies whose employees have fewer children than the national average. Equal parenthood paid time off for men and women. 

(As an aside, I don’t understand why taxing things that hurt the collective is so frowned upon in politics. It should be a win-win, letting state coffers be replenished while helping society)

Third concept: 

Monopoly power is a root of all evil

This comes from Cory Doctorow’s seminal essays on (sigh) enshittification.

Relevant quote:

This is enshittification: surpluses are first directed to users; then, once they're locked in, surpluses go to suppliers; then once they're locked in, the surplus is handed to shareholders and the platform becomes a useless pile of shit.

The idea is that monopoly power is - well - power. And power corrupts.

And that’s how you get HP printers that cost a subscription to operate and spy on you.

(I’m ashamed at having bought one of those awful things a while ago. In my defense, I needed a printer STAT and this was the cheapest, cheapest option)

The solution to this is actually enforcing anti-monopoly laws.

—

I don’t believe in despair. 

Despair is not useful. It doesn’t inform what you should do, it leaves you standing there and is honestly actually self-indulgent at times.

This is why when outlining these concepts I’ve always added a line to possible solutions.

It’s my own “and so what? And then?”

Doesn’t mean it isn’t hard of course.

But I find it much more satisfying to live my life with grim optimism.

[citrustan]

I agree with Jungkook not doing anything out of the ordinary. But from what we’ve seen of him, he probably is a guy that I wouldn’t want to keep around romantically and it’s probably because of prejudice. For the time being, personally, he’s not giving off someone you can really trust, while he does, I don’t like ambiguity but that makes this character really human. The more flawed and less fluffy they are (While those types of characters are the ones that keep me going…) the more realistic and real they become. After reading your answer, and going through some of the asks, I just realized she might be actually a creepy stalker. Most likely isn’t because I know you. Lol. I mean you’re not the darkest author I’ve seen but who knows? 😈 But I realized that while reading the story the distance you feel towards the other characters is intentional. And that makes the story much better.  Even if somehow it wasn’t ( which I doubt cos you’re a great writer) that your subconscious did a fantastic job portraying the nuances of real life relationships. I might be over thinking this idea just popped up in my head.

OK, fun fact this started as a response to my previous ask and I wanted to send this as a whole because as I wrote the more enlightened I got. This might be a pure conspiracy theory, but it’s just how I felt. 🫢

i see what you mean. but tbh my jungkooks are always pretty ambiguous 😓

oc could be a creep yes but then again, it's up to you. you have an idea of what oc usually does. ir isn't like harmful creepy, it's just odd creepy (if that comparison made sense). And jia has possibly exaggerated the whole thing.

soz, i can't deliver the "dark" stuff you freaks are into these days (said citrustan lovingly). ur right but it's not up to me, i've had people be on jia's side too bec oc was so overbearingly annoying about jungkook.

about the thing about the distance, hmm i never noticed that tbhhhh i just write. for this story, i had some scenes in my mind and i somehow incorporated them into whatever i endwd up with. it's like freehand drawing!

u keep writing dingdong I want to feel ur thoughts

[neapologist873]

So, who the hell is Cross Marian?

Everything under the cut because it includes spoilers from 245!

Now, Wit made the mistake of joking about how Cross might actually be Cyrus Campbell and well. That made a little too much sense.

What prompted this was the scene in Night 245 where Maria stops Cross from hurting Allen, and there you can see a panel of her when she was still alive and she bears a striking resemblance to Caterina.

We've known for a while that Maria is a corpse, but now we know who it was. It's also interesting that he calls her 聖母 (Mary, Maria, Holy Mother) because Caterina fits into all of these roles either literally or narratively.

Of course this is just a theory, but here are a couple reasons why we believe it's true:

1- Starting off with a slightly meta one, but the series has progressed too far for a brand new, important character to be introduced. It makes more sense that it's actually someone we're already familiar with.

Notice how we never get to see Cyrus, not even a silhouette.

2- .... These descriptions fit Cross quite well. We know he's quite skilled with magic, so that might have been what caused the smoke there.

3- Nea claims to hate humans, but he considers working with Cross to be something unavoidable.

Assuming past Allen was a bookman, Cross is the only human Nea's acquainted with. An easy explanation would be that they're family members, but there are other ways to interpret this. Still, Nea clearly doesn't hold either in high regard, so.....

4- This exchange from Komui's Discussion Corner:

there's no real reason to hide his age since we've already seen him in the past, but giving an accurate number might give away how old he was when the betrayal happened.

5- Cross claims to have made Timcanpy, and holds onto the only thing capable of killing it, the thorn of Cornelia.

6- everything leads us to believe Cross was involved in the Campbells' past, but how come he's never mentioned in any flashback, let alone seen? The simplest explanation would be that he's using a different name.

7- Cyrus and Cross are similar names aren't they. Sort of. Guy's not even creative

[elrielbliss]

my thoughts on sjm's interview

i have mixed feelings, so let's talk about it

sjm inserting herself as nesta:

i think one thing that frustrated me is whenever SJM was asked about Nesta, SJM would always relate the question back to herself. i'm not trying to be mean, but i really wish authors would separate themselves from their characters. taking inspiration of what you went through to write a character is fine, tons of people do it. but it really did seem SJM was inserting herself into nesta's character and made the interview feel more about SJM at times rather than the characters. don't get me wrong !! i love sjm !! it's clear and she even admits she did a recent reread of ACOSF and didn't realize how many of her own thoughts and struggles made it into the book -so it makes sense why she talked about her own journey so much. i just hope in the future it's not that apparent that she's inserting herself into characters that much.

sjm talking main characters:

it felt like SJM was only talking about nesta + cassian and feyre + rhys, which i guess makes sense since they're the only ones with books, but it also felt weird to ignore all the other characters + avoid talking about them. i did appreciate sarah maclean pointing out SJM's books are about heroines and that the guys take a backseat in the books (making it clear azzy is not gonna have his own book)

in regards to the future of ACOTAR:

one interesting thing maclean asks: "when you started tog, you were also writing this (ACOTAR) are you cooking future books with actual texts?"

sjm: "YES" "i know where i want the series to go" --- so does this imply she started writing future books since she answered yes?

but then SJM claims later in the interview in the fan portion she hasn't started to write future books later in the interview? but then there is proof of SJM saying back in January that she has started to write the next book of ACOTAR when she gets inspiration... so what's the truth?

SJM talking about maps "there's still a lot of the map that's left blank" - i'm very interested to learn more about this and think she was totally hinting about the dusk court!

fan question segment:

sjm complimenting each sister - literally my favorite thing, but wish she said something better about nesta than her smutty book but lol. sjm describing elain as a quiet dreamer was EVERYTHING to me and she once again repeats that elain has a different type of strength. she also loves that elain believes hope is better than hate. how people still think she will turn evil? idk man.

no comment on 2nd question - waste of a question imo lmao

sjm deflecting from the elriel question and she was lowkey smirking while the question was being asked !! she is not a slick woman !! sjm says "you'll get more of elain in the next - i'm not going to promise anything" "you'll get a form of her" "i haven't written the thing yet" like nah finish the sentence SJM. next book as in cc3? next book as in acotar5? and why did she stop halfway through the sentence and switch what she was saying? also her saying she hasn't written the thing yet when she said earlier in the interview she said that she does write future books while writing current books and knows where she wants to take the future of ACOTAR... clearly she knows what she has planned and is just avoiding the question.

this question had like 5 parts to it - it was a hot mess lmao but sjm calling all these conspiracy theories but also careful reading was also hilarious. gwenny lightsinger confirmed lol !

super interesting question + theory i had never heard of. sjm was smirking during this one too!! but also sjm says "idk why you even ask me these questions" like sis these are fan questions we all want to know more about the series that you have been depriving us of. i have zero idea how time travel could work but i am intrigued !

conclusion: interview wasn't needed - it was an easy money grab. i probably won't buy tickets to another event like this unless it's in person (+ includes signed book) or if i 100% know SJM will actually be making an announcement of some sort. most people i would assume paid the $15 so we could ask fan questions and have them answered, only for her to ignore them and not even hint at anything. i hope in the future if she is going to ignore fan questions that the fans are told ahead of time what they can and can't ask so that our questions won't be disregarded. it definitely seems like SJM is going to drag ACOTAR out, which is why i kind of want to be less involved with the fandom until she makes cc3 announcement or acotar5. not sure if she has writer's block or something for ACOTAR but she def seems like she is having a more enjoyable time writing CC3. but overall the interview left me feeling disappointed that she couldn't give fans any hints or stuff to look forward to in the future.

+ also side note for cc she made a comment and described the first 3 book as bryce and hunt's story giving me more hope they'll be endgame lmao.

[guavagloss]

astro observations pt. 2

***based on personal experience

***ALSO a couple of these are nsfw-ish so read at ur own discretion!!

🐚 gemini and leo placements (specifically venus) may be drawn to the y2k aesthetic

🐚 virgo moons were likely raised on tough love and/or have parents that were strict or overtly critical. this might attribute as to why these moon signs are so hard on themselves :(((

🐚 mars 1H people likely have naturally muscular/fit/lean bodies, even if they don’t routinely exercise. they really are hot asf and for what?? 🤨

🐚 earth moons or fire/air mercuries are funny placements in my eyes, meaning these people are likely to make you laugh without trying. bonus points if they have both of these placements ;)

🐚 a lot of virgo placements are likely to be drawn to the cottagecore aesthetic

🐚 when pisces placements are at their worst they can be especially draining to be around. idk what it is but they feel emotions so intensely they wanna make sure you feel it too energetically without realizing it ig 💀

🐚 aquarius mercuries in an academic setting are the pinnacle of chaotic academia lol. they are likely a little disorganized, don’t pay attention in class 85% of the time and don’t study consistently but somehow manage to get good grades regardless of their methods.

🐚 that whole thing with virgos being represented by the virgin is so contradictory in my eyes lmao every virgo that i’ve met has such a high sex drive PLS

🐚 you will know when someone has a leo sun. you don’t even have to ask lmfao like they’ll probably just tell you unprovoked (i love y’all tho)

🐚 if ur a fixed sign/have fixed placements and ur family also consists of other fixed signs/placements well...good luck charlie.

🐚 sun in 11H people are likely to be very popular, whether it’s online or in their communities. people are just naturally drawn to these individuals and want to be their friend! this placement can also indicate a lot of instagram/social media followers without really trying.

🐚 people with jupiter 6H are fast healers (in a physical sense).

🐚 taurus 8H individuals probably enjoy being choked. 👁

🐚 every leo rising that i’ve met has such incredible hair. it’s usually long and thick too. it also just naturally looks good all the time without spending too much time with it.

🐚 libra risings have such cute smiles :)

🐚 aquarius moons are sluts for conspiracy theories.

🐚 i noticed gemini mercuries use a lot of emojis when they text, even if it’s in an ironic sense.

🐚 aquarius placements are always on their phone/always have their phone near them!! so if you think they’re ignoring you they probably are.💀

🐚 folks in the astrology community always talk about how weird aquariuses are but have you met a gemini???? they’re the real weirdos in my opinion lmfao BYE

🐚 scorpio and taurus mars individuals are likely silent/calm when they are angry (and at this point you better run for ur damn life lmfao).

okay that’s all for now besties <3

[skepticalarrie]

ok pls dont take this in a negative way bc this is genuine curiosity. i am a larrie, have been since 2012, but i have a really hard time processing babygate. the fact is that there are conspiracy theories about fake babies with celebrities, benedict cumberbatch for example, that i find to be fan hysteria and not rooted in any truth. so i just feel very uncomfortable believing that this child is being used as a prop to closet a man. pls keep in mind i am a larrie, i do not believe louis is a straight man, and imo there is absolutely no alternative explanation for rbb and sbb other than it being harry and louis behind them. ive heard it before that if you believe louis did in fact father a child, while not in a relationship with harry at that time, then youre not a “real larrie” which deeply upsets me. why do you think that is a belief and do you think its true? btw i do really like your blog as i am a skeptic too, thanks <3

Hi dear. Yeah I totally understand that when we hear things like fake babies and fake pregnancies it sounds absolutely crazy... and it is! LOL No one is saying that is not insane. But like a lot of people who send me asks, I think you're coming from a place of lack of knowledge because you simply made up your mind about something you think it couldn't possibly happen, instead of actually looking up into it before.

As for not being a "real larrie" I mean... that's on you. But you say you're here since 2012 and think larry is real and okay, good for you. But it makes me think that your beliefs are quite questionable, why do you think larry is real in the first place? Because although babygate is a theory that stands regardless of larry, the other way around doesn't make any sense. How can you see the rainbow bears and believe it was Harry and Louis and completely dismiss the times they foreshadowed babygate. And between the two of them, they hinted so much about babygate over the years, anon. I don't mean to disrespect you by saying that but I can totally tell from the way you're talking that you did little to no research about babygate. Honestly you should just ask yourself why is that. What are you afraid to find if you do. What I'm trying to say is that it sounds incredibly hypocritical of you to acknowledge every cryptic shit implying Larry is real but then when it comes to babygate you choose to ignore because you already made up your mind deep down and you have a hard time processing it. You're being selectively blind lol 👩‍🦯

And like listen... I have no idea about Benedict Cumberbatch or other babygate theories, and I don't really care about that or how people perceive those kinds of theories to be completely honest. I would rather simply be truthful. But if there is one thing I learned over the years in this fandom is that anything is possible in the name of greed, money, fame. And I think that with everything Louis put on his "Just Like You" music video it should be more than enough to realize what kind of things we are dealing with here. So please, if you're honestly confused, do yourself a favour and go click the links, read the posts, see the pictures... and then you can make up your mind about it, if you want to keep being "skeptical" that's completely fine, but there is no such thing skepticism when you don't even know what something is about, that's just being dumb. So don't be that person, my love.

Babygate masterpost with links / Babygate general tag / Babygate masterposts / Babygate resources / Babygate timeline / Birth certificate / DNA test / Real parenthood / Surrogate / Custody / Fake pregnancy / Photoshopped / Why babygate / Briana / Rainbow bears x Babygate / Harry x Babygate / Louis x Babygate / Media x Babygate / 1D x babygate / Larry x Babygate / Foreshadowing babygate / Party boy Louis /  Boobiegate / End it / Freddie Reign / Babygate 2021

[mischiefandspirits]

Bernard Figures It Out

Was reading through all the comments on @frostbittenbucky's post and all I could think of was that it was Bernard talking to Tim. Then I got to thinking...

"I've connected the two dots."

"You didn't connect shit."

"I've connected them."

Bernard figures out Tim's a superhero... sort of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim fidgetted nervously as he waited on the front porch of his boyfriend’s house. Bernard had sounded so serious when he’d called during Tim’s lunch to ask him to come over after work so they could talk about something.

Which Tim had done, after spending an entire board meeting just going over the past week trying to figure out what he’d done.

The only thing he could think of was that he’d ducked out halfway through their lunch date on Wednesday to give Duke some backup, but Bernard had seemed understanding when Tim explained there was an emergency at GRC Labs. It couldn’t have been a tipping point, either, since Tim had managed to only flake on three other dates over the past few months they’d been dating. Kate had been happy to cover for him as often as she could “out of queer solidarity” when she found out Tim was dating a boy for the first time and Tim had managed to trick Bruce into covering a few actual Wayne Enterprises emergencies for him when they came up.

There had to be a reason Bernard was breaking up with him, though. Had he missed something? He definitely wasn’t forgetting an important day. He was good with days and Tam was even better, so she would have reminded him on the off chance that he had forgotten.

What was he missing?

Bernard was smiling when he opened the door, but there was a nervous energy to it that had Tim’s stomach sinking. “Hey, Tim.”

“Hey.” Tim gave his own nervous smile then slipped inside.

They went into the living room and sat down on the couch.

Tim frowned when Bernard grabbed a manila folder off the coffee table. Crud, had he screwed up enough that Bernard had had to make a list? He knew he was new to dating a guy, but he hadn’t thought he’d done that bad. He’d really been trying, especially with how his and Stephanie’s relationship had fallen apart at the end. “What -”

“Just let me speak, Tim,” Bernard said, waiting for Tim’s nod. “Okay, so you know Clark Kent, right?”

Tim blinked as Bernard opened the folder to show a picture of Clark. It looked like one of the employee pictures from the Planet’s website, with his dorky “I’m just a humble country boy” smile and the golden globe from their roof photoshopped in as the background. “Uh, yeah? I think so. He works for the Daily Planet, right? I think he’s worked at a few of Bruce’s events. Not a lot of outside reporters are willing to come to Gotham.”

“Exactly!” Bernard said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Tim.

“What?”

He pulled out the picture to show the next page was an article titled, “DAILY PLANET REPORTER… BATMAN!?”

A wave of relief washed over Tim and he placed his face in his hands. “Were you up all night on the hero conspiracy boards again?”

“No. I mean, I found this on a board and was up all night thinking about it, but I found it reasonably early.”

“One in the morning isn’t reasonable, Bernard.”

“Says the guy who’s always wide awake when I call to infodump.”

“Touché.” Tim leaned against Bernard and gave him a smile. “So tell me, why is some reporter from Metropolis from all places Batman.”

“First of all, living in Metropolis is the perfect cover. Everyone assumes Batman would live in Gotham, no one would consider he could be from anywhere else. Metropolis is outside the GMA, but close enough that the commute is still possible.”

“But it’s Metropolis.”

“And who would think Gotham’s Dark Knight lives in the sunshine capital? Plus, I hear he disappears a lot on the job. There’s gotta be a reason for it!”

Tim made a note to let Clark know he needs to cut back on the disappearing act some since people are catching on.

“And have you seen the guy? He is swol AF, babe.”

“Please don’t call me babe while you’re talking about how hot another guy is.” Especially Tim’s honorary uncle.

“You know I prefer twinks.”

“BERNARD!”

“I’m just saying,” he continued, ignoring Tim’s shout. “The guy is definitely hiding something! Besides, Kent is an investigative reporter. He’s gotta know a lot about cases and the underground and detective work.”

Not as much as he likes people to think, but more than he likes people to know Superman does, Tim mused. “But what about the other vigilantes?”

“Well, Kent has a cousin…” Bernard flipped through a folder and pulled out a picture of Kara. It looked like a screenshot of her interviewing Lena for CatCo. “She’s obviously the latest Batgirl. Look at her hair. And the first Batgirl and the current Batwoman were obviously Lois Lane, the red hair is just a wig. Did you see how she kicked butt at that last event she went to? She’s not as subtle as Kent. That means their son is the latest Robin. He’s exactly the right size.”

Oh, Damian better not hear about this, Tim cackled internally. His youngest brother hated being reminded that Jon was the same height as him despite their two years age difference. Damian definitely took after Talia when it came to body type, no matter what he said.

“And Kent also has a brother.” This time he pulled out a picture of Kon. The clone must have been caught by a reporter out shopping with Ma since he was carrying some paper bags and glaring at whoever was behind the camera. “At least, he’s supposedly Kent’s brother, but he was a teenager when he first showed up with the Kents. A lot of people think he’s actually Kent’s son, that Kent got a girl pregnant when they were teenagers and something happened to the mom so Kent had to take him in. Now the Kents are trying to hide it by saying the two are brothers.”

That was… scarily accurate actually. Especially given Luthor and Clark were close friends at the time that Kon would have theoretically been born.

“And that beef would explain why the younger Kent brother went all crime lord on Gotham for a while before reconnecting with the family.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, Kent Jr.’s got the perfect build for Red Hood.”

Tim bit back a comment on how Kon was shorter than Jason by a good foot. Timothy Drake-Wayne should not know that. Add Jason to the list of people who can’t hear this theory.

“And then there’s this girl,” Bernard picked up a picture of Lois, Jon, and Natasha Irons walking down the street together. “No one’s sure exactly who she is, but she’s been spotted with the Kents a few times. I think the cover story is that she’s Jon’s babysitter.”

“And the actual story?”

“She’s Black Bat, obviously. That’s why she wears a mask that fully covers her face. She doesn’t want to stand out as the only African American Bat.”

“Isn’t Signal also Black?”

“Yeah, but he works in the daytime so he’s already a standout.”

“And who is Signal in this? And what about Nightwing and Red Robin?”

“Well, Nightwing’s just a Blüd who came to Gotham. He doesn’t count.”

Ouch. Sorry, Dick.

“And Red Robin is obviously an older Robin, the one who was Robin when we were kids. Kent wanted to keep him on, and I don’t blame him. As for Signal, he’s got the same backstory as all the other Robins Kent picked up, he just went the Signal route because he didn’t fit the usual Robin mold.”

“Because the female Robin fit the mold,” Tim snorted. Robin Mold, as if he and his brothers were even the same ethnicity. Or even had the same hair color. Jason dyes his hair, Dick’s is brown-black, Tim’s is pure black, and Damian’s is more a dark brown and it’s only getting lighter as he gets older.

“She didn’t, that’s the point. Kent tried to give breaking the Robin mold a chance by letting his cousin have a go at it, but he realized it just didn’t work so she went back to being Spoiler and he got a new Robin.”

Not touching that with a ten-foot pole. “Right, and where does he get the usual Robins? Please tell me you’re not back on the secret government orphanages theory.”

“No, no, no. Kent travels sometimes for his job, right? And a lot of the time he’s going to places that have been hit by disasters or major crimes. So he’ll take in some of the displaced children to train as his robins.”

Tim pressed his face back into his hands.

“You see it, right?”

Honestly, Tim was just wondering how his boyfriend could be so close, and yet so far off. “How would Kent even afford taking care of a bunch of secret -- possibly illegally acquired -- children without anyone noticing?”

“Simple. Bruce Wayne is funding him.”

“Bernard, I love you, but what the heck?” Tim blushed and looked up as he realized what he’d said, but Bernard didn’t seem to notice as he steamrolled ahead.

“It’d also explain how he can afford all the gear and how he’d be able to travel to Gotham or anywhere else Batman goes without anyone noticing. He probably has a secret Batplane or something.”

“Why would Bruce do that?”

“Because Wayne cares about Gotham, everyone knows that, and this way he can make sure someone’s taking care of the city without anyone putting two and two together.”

“And two plus two is?”

Bernard gave him a hard look. “I’m not stupid, Tim. Bruce Wayne is obviously Superman. His face is right there.”

Oh, the others are going to love this! Too bad I can’t tell Damian or Jason. Jason especially would have loved this. “Right. Bruce is Superman.”

“He is. Superman is known for being nice and Bruce Wayne’s basically all that’s keeping the city running at this point. That’s nice as hell.”

Oh my god.

“And Wayne does charity for the victims of cataclysms, doesn't he? I bet he first saves people from them as Superman and then builds them new homes for free.”

Oh my god! Why am I not recording this!?

“And the Wayne’s were rich enough to hide the fact they adopted an alien baby.”

Tim raised an eyebrow. “If you’re about to tell me this is why Bruce’s parents got killed, you might want to stop while you’re ahead.”

“It’d make sense. There’re all sorts of unanswered questions about their deaths,” Bernard muttered under his breath, flipping through the folder. He pulled out another picture of Kara. This time she was in full Supergirl attire with a bus held overhead. “So if Wayne is Superman, then that’d mean your ex-girlfriend could be Supergirl. They look a lot alike and it’d explain how she got involved with you all.”

“Bernard, she has a human dad. You know, Cluemaster. The supervillain.”

“Yeah, her dad. But we don’t know anything about her mom!”

“Let me guess…”

Bernard pulled out a picture of Karen. She and Helena were suited up and talking to a group of cops, two goons held over each of Karen’s shoulders. “Her mom could be Power Girl! Some makeup and a wig and she could look just like Crystal Brown! And Damian Wayne is obviously the new Superboy! That’s why his background is such a mystery, right? He had to stay a secret until he could control his alien superpowers. That’s why he’s always so mean. It’s a cover since everyone knows Superboy is super sweet!”

Sure, when he’s not helping Damian pull pranks or using his adorable powers to put the blame on Kon and I. “No, Bernard. Damian and Steph are just very human hellspawn. And Bruce and Crystal are human too. I can’t believe you called me over here just to tell me you think Superman is both Batman’s sugar daddy and my adoptive dad.”

“Well, that’s not exactly why I called you over,” Bernard admitted, the nervous energy coming back. He grabbed Tim’s hands. “Tim -”

Tim’s stomach sank. “You are breaking up with me!”

“What? No! I don’t want to break up!”

“Why are you acting all nervous and serious then!?” Tim asked, pulling his hands away to throw them up in the air.

Bernard shook the folder. “Because I’m trying to tell you I figured out you’re Superboy!”

Tim’s brain blue-screened and his hands slowly dropped. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I know you’re Superboy. The older one, obviously. By the way, you and Damian really need to figure out separate names.”

Forget Jason and Damian, Kon can never find out about this. He’d never let me live it down. “Bernard, you called me a twink five minutes ago. Su-” Shoot, I can not risk getting Kon’s attention! “The older one might not be as big as Superman, but he’s not a twink.”

“Well, yeah, that’s the shapeshifting at work.”

“The what?”

“Obviously you Kryptonians can shapeshift. Why else would you look so much like humans?”

… Why do Kryptonians look so much like humans? Was there some - Wait, no! Break into the Fortress of Solitude for research later! Reassure your boyfriend that you’re not an alien now! “Bernard -”

“And that explains why your step-mom was so hot.”

“Gross.”

“She and your dad were actors hired by Luthor so you could have a normal life! But now Bruce has custody so he adopted you.”

“No.”

“That’s why you and your dad were so weird with each other when I met him.”

“We were weird because he’d just gotten out of a coma not long before to find that his wife was dead so he decided to actually be a dad for once in his life, but overcompensated and became a helicopter parent to a kid who was mostly on his own for his entire life!” Tim blurted out. “I am not an alien, Bernard!”

“Well, not technically since you were cloned from Superman on Earth.”

“Oh my god! You were just talking about Steph being Supergirl! Why would I date my dad’s cousin?”

Bernard blinked. “Supergirl and Superman are cousins?”

Right, Timothy Drake-Wayne wasn’t supposed to know that. “I thought they’d said something like that before, yeah. Are people seriously saying I’m Superboy on the internet?”

“NO! No, I swear I would have led with that if I thought your identity was compromised. A few people have mentioned Wayne and Damian, but not you or Steph or Jason.”

“Wh-Jason!? You think Jason was an alien too!”

“No, not exactly, but a few times when I’ve visited I swear I’ve seen a guy in the manor who looks like Jason. It’s just been out of the corner of my eye and he’s gone whenever I look so I’ve always thought it was just Dick or Bruce or some picture of Jason that my mind was playing tricks with, but it makes sense now that I know Wayne is Superman. He must have been able to heal Jason with alien tech, but couldn’t say anything because that would give away that he’s Superman.”

Damn it Jason! And damn it Bernard! I’m dating the smartest moron in the world! “Bruce did not bring Jason back with alien technology and none of us are aliens!”

“It’s okay, Tim. I won’t tell anyone.”

Tim grabbed Bernard by the jacket and pulled him into a kiss. When he started to feel lightheaded, he pulled back, “Could someone whose skin is as solid as stone kiss like that?”

Bernard blinked dazedly at him for a moment. “How do you know what Superboy’s skin feels like?”

Tim screamed internally. “He’s saved me from a kidnapping before.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I can get you the police report if you want.”

“Huh… And the others?”

“Not Supers. I can stab Damian the next time we’re at the manor if that’ll prove none of us are aliens.” He’d rather stab Jason, but that would probably only confirm to Bernard that Bruce used alien technology to bring him back.

“You probably shouldn’t stab your brother if he isn’t an alien.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “I won’t stab him anywhere deadly.”

“That’s not the point,” Bernard said slowly.

“He’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.”

“So do you believe I’m not an alien now?” Tim huffed, letting go of Bernard’s jacket.

The blond’s eyes dipped down to Tim’s lips. “If I say no, will you kiss me like that again?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Tim said, but he kissed him anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, but I still say Clark Kent is definitely Batman.”

“Sure, Bernard.”