#i really be out here makin weird shit and things

[oneforthemunny]

I heard something about angsty fics around here? Am I right? I'm not sure about the plot, but it has to be cowboy eddie!

Pretty please. Something about sweet girl keeping a secret, but a totally innocent one, just to not concern him. But he found out accidentally, and all was a misunderstanding. He talked to her really harshly, accusing her of cheating and not being trustworthy. Something like that plz plz plz

"Thanks, Gare. I think he's gonna love it." You whispered, cradling the landline to your ear. You could hear the creak of the screen door followed by Eddie's heavy boots on the wood floor, heart skipping.

"I gotta go. Thank you. Talk to you soon." You slid around the kitchen wall's corner, slipping the phone back on the hook as silently as you could, wincing at the small click of the phone settling.

"Hey, honey." You greeted, slinking towards Eddie sweetly. "You done already?"

Eddie grunted in response, stripping his socks, tossing them in the laundry room.

Irritation consumed you, though you tried to mask it. Eddie had been so moody lately. You assumed it was because of his birthday. He always got weird around his birthday, which is exactly why you were determined this year to make it a good one.

"Are you hungry? I kept your sandwich in the fridge, since you didn't come in at lunc-"

"-Who were you on the phone with?" A piercing, furrowed brow gaze met yours suddenly. Canopied by matted curls from a day's work, you could still see the deep lines on his forehead, furrowed.

"What?" You chirped, eyes wide, round in caught surprise. Shit, he'd heard you. How the hell had he heard you? You'd been so quiet, so careful, wanting to surprise him. The look of pure shock, it would be priceless.

You expected to see his lips curl in a smirk, shake his head at you, tell you something along the lines of, "c'mon, baby, can't get anything past me, y'know that".

It never came.

Instead, Eddie's eyes flashed in fury- hurt. Nostrils flaring in a deep breath he tried to swallow down, tried to keep his anger from flaring.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Eddie gritted, an eerie steadiness to his tone that had you shuddering, stomach twisting in fear.

"I-I was- I was just calling to check on my prescription." A stuttering of a lie fell from your lips, nails digging into the palms of your hands. "Just calling to see when I needed to go into town to pick it up-"

"-Y'know," Eddie huffed, standing to his full height, looming over you. "If you're gonna fuck around on me, you could have the decency not to do it in my home."

My home. The words, the tone of his voice, it sent icy waves of fear down your spine. The last time Eddie had called the home "his place" was before you moved in, since then it had been shared with the two of you. Our home, our place, ours.

"What?" Your own brows furrowed this time. "I'm not fucking with you-"

"-No, no, no." Eddie shook his head, taking a striding step towards you. "That's not what I said. I said fucking around on me." There was a beat, your face falling in hurt, his steeling in fury. "Because that's what you're doin'? Aren't you? Fucking around on me?"

"Are you out of your goddam mind?" It was your turn to scoff, angry and insulted. "Did Medusa kick you in your fucking head or something?"

"Don't!" Eddie's voice boomed, hand smacking against the doorframe, a loud echoing of a hit. You stilled, eyes wide, he'd never been this angry- not with you at least. Not at you.

"Don't you come in my fucking house, fucking around on me when I've done nothing-nothing but love you!"

"I'm not fucking around on you, Eddie! Christ, have you lost your mind?" You shouted back, taking a furious step towards him, the two of you in a stand off. "I mean, what is the matter with you? You think I-I'm cheating on you?"

"You think I'm stupid?" Eddie sneered, jaw tight. "You sneakin' around, makin' phone calls all day? Runnin' off into town? I might be a lot of things, honey, but dumb ain't one of 'em."

"You are dumb." You snapped bitterly. "Stupid, even. If you think I'm cheating on you. What the fuck is the matter with you?"

"Who is he?" Eddie's hands gripped the door frame. "Huh? I deserve to know. Who is he?"

You gawked, baffled, furious, embarrassed. Eddie thought you were cheating? Cheating? How did something so kind, so thoughtful that you were trying to do for him, backfire to this? It made you feel hurt, insulted.

"Who is he?" You scoffed. Eddie's face didn't move, expression not softening, not falling. You could feel the burn filling your chest, your nose, suffocating you.

Stomping over to your purse, you flipped it upside down, dumping the contents of it out. There, amongst the change and hair ties, you snatched the receipts you'd shoved to the bottom of your purse. Business cards, a small neon invitation, and wadded receipts from the party stores, balling them in your hand, flinging them at Eddie's face furiously.

"You want to know who I've been talking to?" You sneered, watching Eddie scan the receipts, face slowly falling as he read the item- a birthday cake written confirmation note order with the small note added, "Happy Birthday, Eddie!" in red piping. The date for next Saturday, his birthday.

"I've been on the phone with Gareth." You spat, trying to swallow the tears already brimming your waterline. "I've been sneaking around and trying to plan you a surprise party, because I wanted you to have a good birthday for once."

Eddie felt sick, a wave of nausea crashing over him, head spinning in a dizzying ache. A small invitation, "Shh! It's a secret!" in bold, funky lettering on the invitation, Gareth's address written below.

"Oh." Eddie croaked. His eyes met yours again, though this time, he wore the rounded look of shame. "I, um, I-I didn't me-"

"-You're a fucking asshole." You spat, blinking through tear stained vision, stomping up the stairs in a hurt fury, ignoring his cries and pleas that you cut off with the slamming of the bedroom door.

[green-alien-turdz]

Hi, I know its been a minute n I don't really like that there is like one or two posts between this n my last 'i'm still alive' post. I'm sorry. I wanted to say thank you to everyone in general, but also the mfs who said some nice ass shit to me. Sorry I said some concernin ass shit n just dipped, that was pretty fucked. I never really had people care like all the people on here, so I ain't too used to havin to be more careful with the shit I do n say.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words, concern, n care. Comin back to see all of it made my fuckin heart melt. I know I'm just some dumbass postin south park shit on tumblr, but you guys are genuinely the most amazin mfs I've ever encountered. To the people who were in my inbox askin if I was still alive, I sincerely apologize for causin any stress or concern, it's not my intention. You guys are the sweetest people, and I'm sorry for doin that. I should prolly stop bein as vocal about bein so fucked, but I also like to be honest n I like sharin this shit bcuz I know mfs be goin through the same shit n bein alone in it feels fuckin awful majority of the time.

I am not well. I am doin very bad actually. There's a chance imma be forcefully medicated in the near future. Which is weird bcuz I used to always want that, I wanted to be fixed, but now I'm not sure for like a TON of reasons. One, ion wanna be changed (in a sense). If the meds take away or dull core aspects of myself, I will lose it further than I have already. Two, my parents raised me to never trust doctors or medicine, etc. Even though I do think modern medicine is a great thing, I still have my fears bcuz of how I was raised. Three, I fear the fuck outta what I will do. I know they warn that adjustment periods n shit like that can make things worse- but I literally cannot get any worse. If I do, I know I will not come out alive. Which bleeds into reason four, which is that I know, at some point, I would try n overdose. Handin me such a quick n thoughtless way to just end it is like the worst fuckin thing they could do. But whatever. Ion even know when it's gonna happen, all I know is that ion got a choice. Like, I'm pretty sure it's a situation that, if I don't comply, imma be locked tf up.

Uhh minor update shit- my cat came back home after almost a month of bein fuckin somewhere. She came back skinny, dirty, n sick, but she is slowly recoverin n I've never been more thankful. ED is still kickin my ass, but I'm forcin myself to at least have a fuckin soup I made bcuz I can't get shit done at work if I keep faintin or gettin injured. I have little to no time to do shitfuck, but still do random shit periodically before or after work. I actually redid my dresser n made some stupid ass video about the handles that I might post to youtube if I quit bein a pussy about it.

I haven't been drawin my fanart as of late- but I do want to. Imma focus on doin the requests I have bcuz I wanna give back the best I can. You guys stick with me through thick n thin. I thank you all so much. I'm sorry I'm always MIA. So my posts for a little bit are gonna be the requests n answerin all of my inbox. Ion know how long it'll take, but hopefully it won't get borin. I genuinely love makin things. I love drawin the shit I do n people findin some sort of connection to their lives or themselves. I just want people to feel less alone, less ugly, less whatever the fuck you feel. Each n every one of ya is fuckin amazin, so please don't forget it.

Imma stfu now. But I hope you guys have a good rest of your day or night or eternity. I'll be back to postin shortly, thank you for stickin with this shit show

[skylarsblue]

this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.

100% projecting here

pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).

i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.

✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦

(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)

✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦

✧Simon Riley✧

He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.

He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.

He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!

After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.

"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.

If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.

He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.

"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."

Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)

A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.

Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.

✧Johnny MacTavish✧

Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.

Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.

He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.

"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"

If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.

Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.

If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.

If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.

He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.

"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."

Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)

Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)

✧John Price✧

He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.

Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.

He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.

"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."

Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.

Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.

"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."

He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.

If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.

Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!

If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.

John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!

✧Kyle Garrick✧

Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.

He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.

"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."

Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.

If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.

Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.

"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."

Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.

He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.

Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.

He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.

If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.

You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.

If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.

He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.

"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."

He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.

Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.

If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)

Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.

Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.

"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"

Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.

✧Rodolfo Parra✧

Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.

He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.

Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.

He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.

"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."

He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.

He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!

Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.

"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."

Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.

If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)

If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.

(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")

[papil0nglegs]

One small step at a time! 🛸

Tf2 x Juno!reader

A/n: This one’s for all my overwatch babes <33 ik this idea is rlly niche but this was so fun to write I’m so proud of this. Most of these can be interpreted as platonic but read however you’d like, enjoy ✨

Warnings: Scottish people, Drinking, Passing out drunk

Vocab: (p/f) - Parental Figure

Engineer

He has such a father daughter relationship with you

When you first landed on earth he was extremely fascinated by the technology your (p/f) discovered to get to mars, especially your anti-gravity boots

“So these things are just makin’ you float around?”

“Yeah! I’m not really used to earths gravity so my (p/f) sent me off with overboots!.. how do you guys get anything done while stuck on the ground?”

“We just make do with what we can, sugar”

His fav activity with you? Lounging. Doesn’t look like much but his rancho relaxer + you using your jetpack to ‘sit’? Soo cute

You guys would just be chilling in his workshop after doing whatever task it was you were doing <3

“You want a beer, Buttercup?”

“No thank you! I’m not really fond of drinks with alcohol since all we could drink at mars was juice and water”

“shoot, glad I’m not you”

He’s definitely one of the mercs who warmed up to you the fastest, he’s just chill like that.

Medic

Pls don’t tell him your from mars, weird shit is gonna happen

He’s going to treat you like one of his test subjects, at first it starts tame with general check ups but it escalated pretty fast.

When doing his uber surgery on you he decided to explore more things

“..how long was I out, Dr. Ludwig?”

“Oh not long!! Just two.. days”

“What? You said it would only take about 20 minutes!!”

“Vell yes I did say that my Martian friend, however I must say curiosity got the best of me! I simply had to know more about your anatomy”

“Uhm,, ok”

Yeah you’re so scared of him now lol

But of course you two do need to work together to try healing your teammates

He loves it when you heal him, it’s always a pleasant surprise since he never expects to get healed, like ever

“Here! I can help you!!”

“Oo, so vats how it feels..”

Spy

Yeah he doesn’t think your good for the team

Sure it was interesting to meet someone who was born and raised in a completely different planet, however your inexperience with earth was enough for him to neglect you

Once you visited his smoke room to find abundance of books, you being new to earth were excited to see all the knowledge they carried

“Wow! Can I borrow this one? I’d like to learn more about earth and its continents!!”

“Go ahead, I never made use of that thing anyways”

It always catches him off guard how little knowledge you have about earth, especially since your were chosen to go on the mission to earth

Once you randomly found a globe somewhere in the break room and got so fascinated by it

“Earths colors are beautiful, I’d really like to go the that purple one!”

“Y/n, Russia is not purple. And you don’t want to visit there, it is full of trash people.”

“Oh..I see”

He doesn’t guide you to earth like the rest of the mercs, he wants to really straighten your back and push you to your limit

“Would a croissant go well with your meal good sir?”

“Excuse me?”

“You seem like you are from the Western Europeans my (p/f) brought back to mars!! Au revoir madam, please enjoy your tea”

Tbh that moment made his heart melt by just a little bit. Hey, he’s not a monster he can have heartfelt moments.. sometimes

Sniper

You are so fascinated by him, literally just him

For the most part it’s because of his job title ‘assassin’, you’ve never heard of such a job back home.

“Is it true you earn currency to kill specific people?”

“Why of course Sheila, who else would do it?”

“Well, on mars we kinda just let them live even if we don’t like them.. that’s a thing here right??”

You love going on roadtrips with him so he can show you around, just to see get a feel of that New Mexican dirt

You two have a relation where he misses his parents despite always arguing with them, and you miss your (p/f) because you two now live on completely different planets.

On those trips you tend to enjoy chilling in the back of his trailer. You can’t stand spending another second on an uncomfortable leather seat!! So you roam around a lot in what he basically considered his home.

“How was it back there? ‘eard sum ruckus out in the front.”

“Oh right! I am trying to get use to earths gravity so I tried cleaning up here a bit, I hope you don’t mind!!”

He almost cried, you reminded him of his ‘mum’

Whenever you’re curious about any animal you always go to him, we all know Australia a place with weird animals so

“Mr. Mundee, is this spider deadly?”

“I’m not sure, you should probably check in with doc tho. Your face lookin pretty swelled there mate..”

“Oh thank the stars! I was sure this was a lion..”

You passed out from the poison.

It’s good tho, sniper carried you to Medics room like the big brother he is 🧡

Demo-man

YOURE SO SCARED OF HIM

MORE THAN MEDIC

Not only is he obsessed with the drink that you’ve literally never heard of until you arrived in earth, but the way he acts makes it seem like crack

You have so many questions, they almost never get answered because he’s either too drunk or he’ll pass out with medic dragging him out the room

“Is it true that your stomach now declines any normal drinks?”

“Ayouhhh it’s just beerdelicois burp”

“..is he going to be alright?”

“Oh no worries my Martian friend, this happens all the time.. although I can never tell if he’ll live or not”

When on the battlefield he’s always screaming and creaming, sometimes it scares you so much to the point where you ask your fellow teammates to help you

“MR. CONAGHER, I THINK DEMO IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!!”

“Darlin’, I thinks he’s just tryna get some healing..”

“But why is it yelling.. ☹️”

Now you’re scared of Scottish people, and convinced they probably eat their youth

Soldier

He def plays a father role like engineer, but way less charm and warmth to him

He’s like a dad at a soccer game, he’ll cheer you on but aggressively, to the point where it seems like he’s booing you

In the lobby he’d always do his soldier talk, and it never fails to make you do you best

“NOW, WILL YOU HAND THAT TEAMS ASS AND FEED IT TO HIM, OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO DRAG YOURS BACK TO MARS TO YOUR MOMMA?”

“No sir!! I’ll feed it to them!”

“THATS RIGHT MAGGOT”

Soldier is always hard on you, sometimes he calls you a ‘space commie’ just for jokes, although his tone definitely sets you off

When you unleashed your orbital ray he started screaming about ‘the commies getting to us’, you had to reassure him several times that it was something you had full control of

Scout

This guy was ecstatic when he found out his new teammate was going to be from space, scout is really into comics (even tho he can’t read) so his imagination went wild when Ms Pauling announced that he’d be fighting alongside what he considered an alien

Once you arrived he was in awe, he thinks you’re the coolest person on the team solely because you’re from another planet.

But he did quickly recognize that you weren’t use to like, anything on earth.

He handed you a cold can of Bonk just for you to look at him confused

“What do I do with this?”

“You drink it?”

“..um I don’t think you’re supposed to drink ‘atomic punch’, that sounds like it hurts 0-0”

He had to teach you how to drink stuff that wasn’t in an aluminum bag, you didn’t take a liking to it but you got used to it

Scout offered you to sleep on the top bunk because he wanted to be nice and all, huge mistake.

The next morning you completely forgot you were on a different planet, so you rolled and fell 9 feet from the bed to the floor.

“Jesus y/n!! what the hell happened?”

“I think I.. fell? Falling feels weird..”

Gets so hype when you two are on the same team, he’s so ready to clock the enemy team with orbital ray

“Scout! My orbital ray is ready!! ^^”

“Whooo! Let’s go then E.T what are we waitin’ for??”

For the most part he’s the one who shows you everything you need to know about earth, baseball is his favorite thing to teach cuz obviously

When you joined him to watch a baseball match you were so excited yet so lost

“What happens if they win? Is this a war?”

“No? Toots it’s just a game”

“Hm, intresting.. then I must try this ‘game’ too!”

[commander-krios]

Violet, Violet

Fandom: Andromeda Six Pairing: Damon Reznor/f!Traveler Rating: Gen Summary: There wasn't much on Tilaarin that could catch Damon's eye. It was too bright, too perfect, too rich for his standards. But there was one thing he did like: the violets. They reminded him too much of a certain princess. Words: 1017 Additional Tags: Tilaari Traveler, Humor, Love, Idiots in Love, Friendship, Fluff, Flowers, Not Beta'd

Written for @flashfictionfridayofficial

Read on AO3

"You look like an idiot."

Alisa's voice came from somewhere behind him, near the gazebo where he was supposed to meet Astrea for their date soon. With a shrug, Damon blatantly ignored his best friend in favor of gathering up the bouquet of blue flowers he'd 'acquired' from the elaborate gardens spread around Tilaarin. He chose them because their gorgeous shade of blue reminded him of Astrea, it was a bit darker than her skin tone but it was soft and smelled good... like her.

"Jealous that Zane doesn't pick flowers for you?" He asked instead of rising to Alisa's bait, facing her with the bundle in hand, making sure not to crush the delicate stems in his hand. 

Alisa snorted, rolling her eyes to the sky. "I don't need flowers when he's gives me everything I want in-"

"Ew, I don't want to know." Damon brushed past her to add the flowers to the small picnic he had set up. It was a simple spread in his opinion, there was only so much he could do with the limited time he had, but it was some of his best recipes: dark chocolate brownies, a hearty quiche stuffed full of vegetables that he'd scrounged up, a few of Bash's best lemon bars, some fresh fruit from one of the food stands he'd stumbled across, not to forget the kebabs he'd grilled just before bringing everything over. 

Maybe he should've asked Astrea what her favorite foods were before doing this. Shit.

"Besides," Alisa continued, watching as he fussed with the containers of food, trying to find a good spot to place the violets so Astrea would immediately see them. "Love is a weird look on you, Reznor. Never thought I'd see the day."

"Laugh about it all you want somewhere else." He snapped, trying not to let his frustration show. Alisa knew him as well as he knew himself, but there were things that even he didn't know that surprised him. This was one of those things. "She'll be here soon and I don't need you ruining something that's supposed to be fun."

Damon could feel Alisa's mismatched gaze burning a hole into his back as he opened the bottle of wine before putting it back in the ice bucket. Astrea was most likely on her way already and Alisa was only being a distraction. 

"I'm not makin' fun of you... much. It's cute... and insanely gross." He glanced at her to see she'd scrunched her nose up in something like disgust.

"Coming from the woman who is sleeping with the man who named his shotgun after her." 

Alisa went to shove him and he ducked the swipe, dancing out of her way with a laugh, finding her frustration even more satisfying than before. At least he knew he wasn't the only one with complicated feelings for a person he never expected to fall for. Alisa and Zane were a weird pairing that somehow worked and he really didn't want to know the details of that.

Alisa curled a hand around his wrist before he realized it, his mind was running a mile a minute lately, and she slipped around behind him, pulling his arm tight against his back, tweaking the muscles in his shoulders and then he was on the ground, pinned beneath a woman probably half his weight soaking wet.

He struggled against her grip but she shoved her knee into his back, right between his shoulder blades, and the sudden pain made him pause. She'd nearly broken his arm before, back when they were children, and she was much faster and more clever now. Probably could even stick a knife between his ribs before he felt it.

A laugh broke the stillness that followed and both he and Alisa glanced up to find Astrea standing at the entrance to the gazebo, golden eyes dancing with amusement at the sight in front of her.

"Damon, are you poking fun at Zane's show of affection?" Astrea raised an eyebrow, brushing a hand through her silver-white hair, the bioluminescence of her Tilaari heritage making her skin glow. "Coming from a man who names every one of his knives for a woman he's known, you have no leg to stand on."

Alisa barked a laugh before rolling off of him, getting to her feet before he could even get his hands beneath him. 

"Hey, you got the honor of the biggest knife I own."

She shook her head, meeting Alisa's eyes with a tired expression. "How did you deal with him for this long?"

"He's your problem now, Princess." With a grin that would spell trouble for him later, Alisa waved a goodbye before slipping into a crowd of rebels who walked by, disappearing as quickly as she'd appeared.

Smiling, Astrea turned back to him, as beautiful as the day he'd met her, all bright smiles and sparkling eyes, and freckles that were like stars scattered across the expanse of space. There was a brief moment, every morning when he woke and saw her sleeping next to him, that he wondered what it was she saw in him. How could she see goodness in a man who murdered for a living?

She moved closer, slipping her arms around his waist, standing on her toes to press a soft kiss to his chin. Their eyes met and she laughed, fingers tickling against his back gently. "We can be each other's problem."

Damon smirked, the corner of his lips curling up at her words. With a finger, he brushed some of her hair behind an ear, tucking a violet there in one motion. She looked at him questioningly, reaching up to touch the delicate bloom.

"What was that for?"

Because I love you.

It was on the tip of his tongue, but instead of the confession tumbling from his mouth, he only gave her a devious look before attacking her with his fingers, tickling her sides until she couldn't breathe. Damon wasn't a coward most days, but with this, he would do it right. And for now, it'd have to wait.

[scenetocause]

no one asked for this but i was in the kitchen makin instant ramen and poleaxed by the thought of landoscar puppy play post-melbourne in the style of a fic i thought was gemjam's but now can't find where mark webber gave his then-protegee mitch evans a collar to help with homesickness anyway whatever have some fuckin words

edit: fuck's sake cassian obviously it was a collar and a kiss by zeraparker

mild warning for hopelessly undernegotiated kink

"Don't you ever get homesick?" Oscar could count the number of people he'd less like to be having this conversation with than Lando Norris on one hand and one of them's the bored immigration officer who had to tell him he'd not got his passport stamped right in Doha.

Lando snaps his gum, looking up to the ceiling like he's actually thinking about it. "No? Not really. I was sick of fucking Bali over Christmas, jesus and I don't want to go back to Dubai but like, home is everywhere innit?"

"No." Oscar closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose. Obviously Lando doesn't experience this, he could literally drive to his parents' house on half a tank of fuel, straight out of the MTC car park. Straight from Oscar's flat, where for some reason he's letting Lando crash as though him seeing the post-Australia comedown is a good idea.

"Hmm." Hearing Lando think is always disturbing. "Well, what can I do about it?"

Oscar has to open his eyes again in disbelief. 'What do you mean do about it?"

Seeing Lando cocking his head on one side, like a dog, makes something painful sear across Oscar's temples. "You're sad, I want to fix it. Max always-"

"Don't tell me about that." He can't hear about Max Fewtrell right now. The guy haunting the garage all weekend was enough. Oscar doesn't need a reminder he's not Lando's first anything, needs to keep the thoughts about breaking up with his girlfriend so they can properly be a thing to himself.

"Well." Lando is literally sitting on his hands. "Then you have to tell me about it yourself."

Thing is, this is too much. It's not the kind of thing he should share with Lando. Lando who he just got team-ordered for, Lando who he needs to match the tyre management of, Lando who will sit there and smile angelically and get his fucking way on anything they ever diverge on about feedback.

Oscar's clenching his jaw so hard he can almost feel the ache where they took his wisdom teeth, though. Another thing he didn't know he'd really miss this much.

"You can't fucking laugh at me." Why's he said that, for fuck's sake? Lando laughs at everything, would probably do it at a funeral in his weird, stressed-out way when he doesn't know how to socially behave.

"Ok." Lando's eyes are very big and he's looked up from his phone. "I can order TimTams on Uber Eats?"

That's actually quite sweet. But not what Oscar needs right now.

"Just - stay here." Lando's fucking weird, he's probably into some of this shit himself. If not something freakier, lying around his Monaco flat in a gimp mask, suffocating himself or god-knows-what shit.

It doesn't take long to find the box. Oscar's consciously never accumulated too much stuff in this flat, like he might have to move out of it any time. Like everything might have to go in a suitcase because the contract review board said it's over, kiddo, go back down under and pretend you understand your dad's business enough to pay him back.

It's not got very much in. Oscar doesn't like to wear too much, when he's like this. Just a t-shirt and shorts or his boxers. He doesn't think he's ready for Lando to see him shirtless, like this, make his eyes crinkle up in glee at how much of Oscar he can touch.

It'd be better if Lando did it, if someone put it on for him but that's too complicated to ask for, so Oscar does it himself, mostly. Puts the soft shorts on, an old Prema shirt that's a little too tight to wear outdoors but feels comfy, soft, reassuring on his skin.

The ears are easy but the collar. He can't do that, himself. Can't give himself the ball, the well-chewed, if pristinely laundered, beanie toy. Whines, unhappily, about it.

"Osc-" obviously, Lando heard him. The sounds of him chaotically standing up, nearly falling over Oscar's rug and stumbling towards his bedroom door, are already clattering through the flat. "Can I come in?"

He just whines again, an animal thing. Oscar needs permission, like this, doesn't give it.

"Ok you better not be dying because I never finished the first aid-" Lando stops in the doorway. "Oh."

Oscar sinks to the floor, his knees bending beneath him, shoving the box at Lando before he folds down on his knees and elbows, looking up at the guy he's supposed to do anything to beat.

"Good..." Lando moves his mouth around for a moment, licks his lips. "Puppy?"

He doesn't have a tail to wag, although he has thought about one of the plugs, sometimes. Objectively, the bit of Oscar's brain that's still somewhat functioning says wiggling his arse must make him look ridiculous, especially when he paws at the box and whines again.

Lando crouches down, touches the ears. "Do you want to go out?"

Oscar cringes back, shaking his head violently. God, imagine the headlines.

"Ok." Lando does his head-cock thing again, then sticks his hands into the box. "Do you want your collar?"

It's pretty shameful, the way Oscar crawls forward so easily, smushes his face against Lando's knee and maybe he should have asked about this properly but Lando goes easily, scritching behind Oscar's ear. "Oh you're such a good boy, look at you."

Lando fumbles the collar for a second, not getting the buckle right the first time and it's nearly uncomfortable enough Oscar stands up, right back out of it but then it goes and it's snug and tight and good, Lando's hand in his hair.

"Are these your toys?" Lando shifts to kneeling, lets Oscar get his head right in his lap, nuzzling against Lando's stomach through the pouch of his hoodie. He doesn't need to answer that one, it's pretty obvious.

"Well, I don't think Oscar would want you breaking his stuff, so I'm going to leave the ball here." The third person is a jolt, like a nod to camera but it feels right. Oscar is elsewhere, can worry about that later.

"Come on then, good dog." Lando stands up, with the beanie toy in hand. It's a koala, a stupid joke. "Come and play, then."

It's not a comfortable flat to get through on your hands and knees, hard wooden floor jarring him in a way that'll probably bruise a bit, tomorrow. Lando's walking easily, waggling the beanie like he thinks he needs to keep Oscar interested.

Not Oscar. Puppy. It feels good.

Lando pushes the coffee table away, scraping on the floor in a way Oscar's landlord will probably have an opinion about when he comes to pay the deposit back. But puppies don't worry about that kind of thing, so Oscar just crawls over to where Lando's sitting, legs spread and outstretched, on the rug.

"Come on," Lando holds out the beanie, waving it by Oscar's mouth. "You want this, yeah?"

Oscar growls, nips at it. It's not the toy he wants, really, just the -

Ah, perfect. Lando pulls Oscar forward by the toy, right on top of him as he leans back. Oscar can paw him like his, Lando laughing delightedly and twisting away.

It's - he's seen the video, McLaren posted it for some national day or something last year - the same way Lando plays with his family's dog. Silly, rolling around the floor, letting Oscar half-hump him while Lando's shrieking and trying to get out of his grip, only to dive back in, wrestling with Oscar.

The rug scoots across the floor under them and they nearly crash into the telly, Oscar ending up on his back, against the sofa, Lando tickling his tummy but the toy in Oscar's mouth, triumphant.

"Are you submitting? Are you letting me lead the pack?" It's a bit on the nose but yeah, maybe. Oscar kicks out a leg, half-heartedly, to show he isn't always going to be ok with that.

"What a good boy." That, he is always ok with. More than human-Oscar would like to admit.

Lando lies down next to him, face a bit flushed and eyes bright from playing. "Always wanted a dog. You can even come to all the races."

[shoezuki]

Shoe im too sleep deprived to go zooming on all those screenshots and redownloadong the bird app, may i ask what is happening w the dream drama u posted? I love ur summaries, they make me laugh about things i am gratefully unaware of

My beloved anon im sorry it took me this long. But i am lazy. No other reason really. So i am now chronicling this dhit on my phone. And oh fuck dude is it a trip

SO. this fuckery began with quackity announcing the QSMP. He did so on the 17th of march and whatever the fuck. He mentioned it earlier than this (edit: just checked but the First announcements was the 10th)

And this is all great. New server that fucks. But what truly started all this. Was dream's tweet on his private twitter.

Im gonna try to be kinda impartial qnd jus. Explain it all as is but first i gotta say who says this shit lmao. So quackity announces his new project and is very passionate about it, he tweets more on his alt(?) About how much it means to him to bring his two languages spanish and english together. And dream on private is like 'wow cool! Guys dont get mad at me when i announce the same thing later tho haha' its just so weird.

But anyways. The usmp wasnt even A Thing. Only written instance of dream makin a multilingual server was in a tweet defending himself from copying quackity. (Altho he allegedly mentions in streams or whatever wanting yo do things w other ppl from other languages? But that shit dont count n im not diggin audio n videos out fuck that).

The actual, official announcement of dream makin a usmp was april 2nd (idk why this says the 3rd but whatever) wherein he announces the 'first multilingual smp' with a list of languages that will be on it such as portugese, spanish, english, russian, etc. And that it has live translation.

The same day, quackity releases a tweet labelling the qsmp as the 'first multilingual smp' and that he is introducing a live translation system to it. Mr beast connects that the usmp and qsmp are similar to which dream responds. Quackity doesnt respond, nor does he acknowledge the usmp at all.

Dream's response is essentially theyre different in that qsmp is spanish and english, he announced his live translator first, they had 'similar good ideas'.

So. This sparked a lot of drama and discussion. Because of the 'first multilingual' bit in that people began discrediting qsmp as it was 'only' english and spanish, and therefore was bilingual and not multilingual. Altho others countered thid by saying quackity himself called it a multilingual server in his streams. Not to mention the idea that the translator was copied but regardless both those things are kinda stupid arguments and just drama inspired by the comparisons.

More notably is that dream team were making fun of the 'first multilingual server' bit after this. Dream was liking some jokes at it as well

Dream also liked some. Vaguely sexual/romantic 'they should just kiss already' art of him and quackity?

Also after this dream started somewhat addressing/replying to quackity more. Quackity didnt respond to any of it.

Dream also tweeted this on his private the day after

Most narrowed in on the 'this wouldnt have happened without quackity' and was often interpretted as dream saying quackity HELPED him w it in some way or that there was more collab behind the scenes but we will find that to be false. Because. On april 27th. Dream dropped his magnum opus. Which i will include in one screenshot.

Anyways i seriously encourage reading the full thing here because its. Something. Theres so much. It is literally 1.7k words. A lot of it is repetitive but i will. Try. To summarize it.

Essentially dream is writing that he has been trying to contact quackity for some time now with no response. He has been messaging him about how theyve ended up with similar servers (therefore noting that neither one know of the other). This gets nothing. Dream tries contacting quackity more publically with jokes. Nothing. He starts going through secondary sources by talkin to ppl to message quackity for him (i think some people who dream knows that are on the qsmp. Unsure who) but quackity doesnt say shit. Dream is being absolutely ghosted.

Im also noting this last paragraph in his first tweet where he describes being 'taken back' when quackity announces the qsmp live translator after his usmp announcement, because he 'knew it would cause more drama'.

He says he messages quackity so they can plan how to deal with the 'vitriol' between the teo 'communities' and that the drama can be solved with 'communication'. He is ghosted. He also mentions that he puts the usmp 'on hold' in the 2nd tweet so it all can be dealt with and he can 'extend love and support to quackity'. Most notably he says that its alluded that quackity wouldnt let ppl who were on the usmp couldnt be on the qsmp which dream tries to say makes sense for quackity to do.

Theres apparently a fucking image limit on the tumblr app which ive hit so i am now not using images and speedrunning this shit. But im quoting this one thing exactly as its most important:

"That being said, I’ve seen the communities split against each other and have tons of hate build around this and around the speculations of peoples motives and friendships and so on, and it’s really really harmful to the community as a whole. I have seen more threats, doxing, fights, slander, and hate between a bunch of fan bases that I’ve seen in a very long time. I personally have experienced an elevated level of in real life threats & stalkers & even had the police involved in somebody showing up at my house, & even putting trackers on my family vehicles, surrounding this drama, for the first time since pre-face reveal. That’s really why I feel like I have to say something about it despite me wanting to avoid any kind of serious talk about all of this, especially even talking about communication publicly feels wrong but necessary in this instance. I never like to air out anything that feels or is private, but I feel like in this case it’s really important for my fan base to be aware of my intentions, motives, thought process, and how we got to where we are. I’ve always been a creator that’s very open with my fan base about everything going on in my life and this is a massive thing right now for my friends & me"

His last tweet begins with him saying he 'doesnt want anymore drama' and ends eith him saying he loves quackity and believes this is all just a miscommunication.

Now, obviously, shit blew up. Hes been ratiod a few times by people meming it. Ive seen many people on quackity's 'side' saying that the usmp doesnt even exist yet, dream is the one causing drama, etc. And people on dream's 'side' saying quackity is being horrible and needs address this because its caused dream to be in danger. Most importantly. Quackity didnt address it at all.

But then quackity announced he was going live in an hour. And a lot assumed hed say something. But he didnt. His stream was roughly 15 minutes long and it was entirely quackity announcing that he was introducing brazilian/portugese speaking streamers onto the qsmp.

Anyways. Theres a lot of details but my hand hurts now. A big thing is whether qsmp or usmp was 'first'. Imo theres a lot more pointing towards quackity having had this is store for a longass time, as he had been hinting and a project of his for months and more notably the qsmp is so organized and put together i doubt he couldve had it finished up 'after' dream as dream's nonexistent server was an idea he got after that squidcraft thing in early March i think?

More recently (i think today) i saw that quackity apparently took two emojis off his twitch that were dream roblox characters and i saw people freaking out in r/dwt2 about how quackity could be so petty? But ya. My condolences if youve read all this.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD ”Coffin Decoration ~ Out of the Counsel of Three comes the Greatest Fashion Sense”

Original title: 棺桶★デコレーション～三人寄れば最強のセンス!?～

Source: Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN WonderGOO Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru, Takashi Kondou & Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: This CD added three days to my lifespan with how absolutely ADORABLE Subaru is. ;w; I love it when he gets super excited about coffins and such, haha. That being said, Ayato and Yuma were hilarious in this CD as well. I loved how they all work together in the end to make what is probably the strangest coffin in all of human and Vampire history. xD 

Ayato: …Goddamnit, Reiji. Can he just stop complainin’ ‘bout every single damn thing? I’m not the only one whose room is a mess! It’s my room so it can be as messy as I want it to be, right? …Huh?

Ayato suddenly comes to a halt.

Ayato: Is that…?

Subaru: …

Ayato approaches Subaru. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Whatcha doin’ over here? …It doesn’t happen every day that Mr. Shut-In leaves his room. 

*Rustle*

Subaru: Shut up!! It’s none of your fuckin’ business, is it!? I’m busy right now so leave me alone!

Ayato: Busy? All you’re doin’ is lookin’ inside some store. …Ah? 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: What’s this? 

Subaru: Can’t you tell? It’s a customizable coffin. 

Ayato: Oh. Now that you mention it, it does have these weird decorations on it. …Oh! Are those different kinds of sweets and candy on top? Interestin’! 

Subaru: You like that overly cutesy one? The one on the far right is obviously the coolest!

Ayato: Hah? The one with the black wings? …Also could they have fit on any more skulls? It’s way too much.

Yuma approaches them.

Yuma: …Aah? If it isn’t the Loudmouth and the Shut-In. What brings ya two here? 

Ayato: Subaru wants to decorate his coffin, apparently. 

Yuma: Decorate? Is that the sorta thing you’re into mate? 

Subaru: I’m not…!! I never said I’d actually do it, did I!?

Ayato: But you’ve been lookin’ at this even way before I came here, right? I bet you actually want to give it a try.

Subaru: …!! W-Well…

Yuma: Heeh…Well, check it out! It says that right now, ya can put on as many ornaments as ya can fit on there!

Subaru: …

Ayato: If you’re too scared to go inside by yourself, I can come with you? I’ll even help you pick out some stuff! I’ll sniff out the real cool stuff!

Subaru: …I can only see this endin’ badly. 

Yuma: In that case, I’ll tag along too! Let’s make a coffin that would turn anyone into a shut-in. (1)

Subaru: You guys are makin’ fun of me, aren’t you? Besides, aren’t you outside for a reason as well!? 

Yuma: Yeah. I’m on my way to buy stuff for tonight’s dinner. But I still have plenty time, so it should be fine. 

Ayato: I only left the house to escape from Reiji’s ramblin’. …Come on, let’s go inside already. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …Hey!

Ayato: You grab his other arm, Yuma. 

Yuma: Gotcha. 

*Rustle* 

Subaru: …! Ugh…!

Ayato: Don’t worry. You’ll be cryin’ tears of joy by the end.

Yuma: Exactly. Leave it to us!

They drag Subaru inside the store. 

Subaru: As if…!! Why do I have to do this with you two fuckers anyway…!? I can already tell you’re goin’ to turn it into some kind of weird shit…!! …So stop pulling me…!!

*TIMESKIP*

Ayato: Oh…They’ve got so many decorations to choose from. Wow.

Subaru: Aren’t their coffins a lil’ too big as well? This is pretty much twice the size of my current one. 

Yuma: You’ve got a point. This doesn’t look like it’s meant for one person. 

Ayato: What are you sayin’? Not only does it give you more space to work with, but it’ll obviously be more comfortable to sleep in as well!

Yuma: Is that how it works? 

Subaru: Che…I can’t keep up with you idiots any longer. I’m goin’ home. 

Ayato: That kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? …Let me see…Oh! What do you think ‘bout this one? 

*Rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! Why a huge cross out of all things!? Ya really think this guy will like that?

Ayato: Ah…? I guess you’re right, it’s kinda creepy. Oi, Subaru. Let’s go for somethin’ else after aーー

Subaru: Not bad…

Ayato & Yuma: Haah…!? 

Subaru: I should probably put this one on the lid. Also…It’d look even better by adding a pair of bat wings. …Wait, no! The dragon wings are kind of temptin’ too…

Yuma: No way…That’s the sort of thing he likes? What’s wrong with your lil’ brother’s taste!?

Ayato: Don’t ask me!!

*Rustle* 

Subaru: Oi, you guys should bring me some decorations too. If they’re good, I’ll even use them. 

Ayato: That arrogant tone pisses me off, but seems like he finally got in the mood. …Let’s do this. I’ll put on some weird shit and turn it into the lamest coffin ever seen. Hehe…

Yuma: I mean, I guess this is a decent way to kill some time, so count me in.

Subaru: What are you two whisperin’ ‘bout? 

Ayato: Nothin’! I’ll go fetch somethin’ that’ll blow you out of your socks, so just you wait!

Yuma: You just stick to bein’ your usually loner self and have fun decoratin’ ‘kay? 

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru: …Okay. This should do for the lid. 

Ayato: Oi, Subaru! Check this one out…!!

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah? What? Also, what took you so damn long!? I’m pretty much done except for the sidーー …Wait, that’s…

*Dun dun*

Ayato: It’s a mini-sized takoyaki grill! If you put this on your coffin, you’ll be able to enjoy takoyaki all while livin’ the loner life! Isn’t that amazing!? 

Subaru: Hard pass! Besides, if I start grillin’ takoyaki inside my coffin, I won’t be able to sleep from the stench afterwards, will I? 

Ayato: Haah? But it’s the best smell in the world…? You really don’t get it. 

Subaru: I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in this world who feels that way. 

Ayato: Fine then. Guess I’ll have to make do with this one instead…

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: …Please don’t tell me that round thing is a takoyaki. 

Ayato: Huh? Are you really that stupid? What else does it look like to you? Well, it’s only a decoration and not the real thing though. 

Subaru: But why!? You’re the only person who’d be happy havin’ that thing on their coffin!

Ayato: You already rejected the takoyaki grill so at least let me have this? You’re really provin’ the point that the youngest child is always the most selfish one. 

Yuma walks up to them. 

Yuma: Are ya’ll havin’ an argument again? Ya never grow tired of that, do ya?

Subaru: We’re not! It’s just Ayato’s who’s tryin’ to put stupid shit on my coffin!

Ayato: Ah…? Maybe you should stop shootin’ down all of my suggestions!

Yuma: Oh come on, lay it off. You’re causin’ issues for the store. …Anyway, I brought some stuff with me. 

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Let me see…

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Carrots, peppers, eggplant and cabbage…These are all vegetables, aren’t they?

Yuma: Gotta get those greens in. Works wonders for yer health. 

Subaru: No but…Those are not somethin’ you’d put on a coffin, right?

Yuma: Nah, don’t worry. They’re all just incredibly well-made replicas. 

Ayato: Heeh, these as well? After seeing the takoyaki from earlier as well, I have to say that they really upped their replica game. 

Subaru: That’s not the issue…!! What I’m tryin’ to say is that these don’t fit the aesthetic at all!

Yuma: Hah…? You are in no position to judge, are you!? The fuck did you do to this coffin? 

Ayato: Geh…! Now that you mention it, Subaru’s creation is…on a whole different level. 

Yuma: Skulls and crows…Ah? And are those thorny vines and snakes running across? 

Ayato: And can we also mention the really creepy face in the middle? Is that a monster of some sort?

Subaru: Take a proper look! It’s a devil! Can’t you see its horns? 

Ayato: Do devils have horns?

Yuma: Beats me. …Or rather, why would a Vampire put that on their coffin? 

Subaru: I just thought the design looked cool, that’s all. 

Ayato: Then these spider web-like patterns were done on purpose too? 

Subaru: Obviously. 

Yuma: I don’t get it. 

Ayato: I don’t even want to understand. 

Yuma: Guess I have no other choice but to fix it up for ya a lil’...

*Rustle rustle* 

Subaru: Oi! Don’t be changin’ the composition without my permission!

Yuma: Oh come on, just watch. 

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: First you put this here…and then…

*Rustle rustle*

Yuma: …There we go! The carrots add a nice touch, don’t ya think?

Ayato: Heeh…You had the crows hold carrots with their feet, huh? 

Subaru: I mean…I guess it doesn’t look half bad…

Ayato: …Oh!

*Ping* 

Ayato: I just had a genius idea as well…! If I put the takoyaki inside this lizard’s mouth…

*Rustle rustle* 

Yuma: Ah! I kind of like it!

Subaru: Say, don’t you think the eggplant would fit well with the color palette as well? 

Ayato: It’s purple after all! Why don’t you try wrapping one of those chains around it?

*Cling cling* 

Subaru: …Not bad. 

Ayato: Let’s add a basketball while we’re at it as well. See? It looks good with a crown of thorns placed on top of it.

Yuma: In that case…The cabbage should go inside the skull, right?

Subaru: No, wait. Tomatoes would work way better. 

Yuma: I’d say we go for cherry tomatoes then. It’d look way better if we stuff a bunch of them inside. 

Subaru: Yuma, you…You’re a genius!

Ayato: Oi, Subaru. We need somethin’ big which really stands out. 

Subaru: Ah, now that you mention it…I saw a spider ornament with really long legs earlier. It didn’t click with me earlier, but it might actually improve the overall design! I’ll go get it!

Ayato: Yeah! We’ll decorate some of the other empty spaces while you’re gone. 

Yuma: Hurry up, ‘kay?

Subaru: Kuh…Don’t mess it up!

Subaru runs off.

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle*

Subaru: …It’s perfect!

Ayato: Yeah! We created a true masterpiece!

Yuma: We didn’t skimp on the details after all. 

Subaru: I was kind of worried for a sec…But I never thought the end result would be this good!

Ayato: That’s all thanks to my help. 

Yuma: What are ya sayin’? I’m the one who did such a great job with the composition. 

Subaru: Hah…? We were able to achieve this result because I did the lid first.

Ayato: Excuse me!? 

Subaru: Got a problem, huh!? 

Yuma: For the millionth time, don’t start fightin’ inside the store! …Anyway, don’t we need to square up now?

Subaru: Ah, right…

Ayato: I hope you’re not gonna tell us you don’t have any money.

Subaru: Hah? Of course I do!

Subaru walks to the counter. 

Yuma: Anyway, how much does one of these cost? 

Ayato: Hah? Didn’t you say that there’s an all-you-can-fit deal? You must have seen the price then, no? 

Yuma: Nah, I didn’t pay attention to that.

Subaru: (muffled) ーー Haah!? Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me!? 

Ayato: …!? What’s that guy’s problem? Why is he shoutin’ out of nowhere? 

Yuma: Should we go take a look? 

Ayato and Yuma walk up to him.

Ayato: Oi, what’s up?

Yuma: Did ya forget yer wallet? 

Subaru: I didn’t! But look at the damn total!

Yuma: The price? …Ahー It’s surprisingly…expensive, huh? 

Subaru: I don’t have nearly enough money on me. 

Yuma: I’ve only got some small change as well. …I mean, there’s the money Ruki gave me to buy food butーー If I use that, my head will be on the choppin’ block…

Ayato: Oh geez, guess I have no other choice. I can easily pay this mu…

*Rustle* 

Ayato: Hm…?

Subaru: Ayato…

Ayato: Now that you mention it, I didn’t bring my wallet with me. 

Yuma: First ya talk all big and now this!? 

Subaru: Or rather…If my pocket money isn’t nearly enough, I doubt addin’ yours to it will make much of a different. 

Ayato: Ahーah. We put so much time and effort into it as well. 

Yuma: We should have probably checked the price tag first.

Subaru: Haah…My coffin…I’ve decided! I’ll start a part-time job at this store and one day that coffin shall be mine!

Yuma: Haah!? What are ya sayin’...!? 

Ayato: It’s not worth goin’ that for, is it? 

Subaru: Right! You two should come work here with me as well. I’ll go have a word with the manager, so stay right here, ‘kay!?

Subaru runs off.

Ayato & Yuma: Haahーー!?

 ーー THE END ーー

[jacenotjason]

*slowly appears from the void*

Would it be alright, if I requested some Fun Facts about Ma? I am so very curious and I wanna hear all the things about the characters-

Hey how did you do that? Ma facts? Oh sure >:D *throws goldfish into the void*

Funfacts n notso funfacts round with Ma!

(HERES THE AU!)

Fun Facts

She’d pierce more of her if she could, but.. ya can’t really pierce a bird? If i drew her in a human au she’d have WAY MORE piercings!

SHE CAN FLY! She just doesnt like to lol

Her hair isn’t naturally that neon rainbow, its black underneath! She regularly bleaches and dyes, usually in the company of others bc its always funner, and you need someone to check the back!

Ma is a mix of birds, but she’s mostly eagle!! Thats where she gets her big ol talons!

Her talons are really sharp! She always tells ppl to mind them when they’re close. (Aa i can imagine her saying that actually “I’m so happy you decided to-, watch the talons, sugar- come over today”)

She has a leather bag with spikes that says “PUNK MOM” in bright green, its her ma bag >:D she carry’s snacks, first aid utensils, and medication! Mostly anxiety medicine or pain meds.

She is the tallest neighbor, beating Barnaby by about half a foot

She went to Mother Mary’s School for Problematic Boys, after she came out. She was sent at 17

She met Barnaby there ^ she was astonished by how brainwashed Barnaby was, since he was sent there so young he was so accustomed to all the teachings. Poppy decided she wouldn’t just escape, she’d take Barnaby with her!

In the school, everyone went by their last names. (Adults called the kids “Son ____” and kids called the adults “Mother ____” and “Father ____”, kids call each other “Brother ____”. They thought they were a big family, basically. Its a very stereotypical cult.) which explains why Barnaby doesn’t know her deadname! He called her “Brother Partridge”, when they escaped they traded their real names, and ofc ma said to call her Poppy

Poppy calls her parents every year or so, (“just makin’ sure they’re still bigoted. Aha, just kiddin’, I don’t have to check.”)

I like to think Ma has a southern accent. I don’t actually know where she would’ve developed it, but it fits with the mom vibe ok?

She’s horrible at baking, but AWESOME AT COOKING. Like go to her house every thanksgiving. Not even, go for dinner she’ll happily cook you some heaven sent meal im serious.

Poppy was originally going to be completely greyscale, no neon whatsoever. I changed it bc it looked way too gloomy and.. bad.

Poppy would happily say yes to a “Hey Mister*” (*teens standing outside a store and asking adults to buy them alcohol/cigarettes. This literally never works, but Ma would get u some as long as u promised to be safe, and might even make u party at her house)

Not-So Fun Facts

Ok some context for this one: Barnaby was going to be killed by the cult. Before a sacrifice or killing someone that stepped out of line (thats what Barnaby did) they down a cup of wine to cleanse themselves before taking a life. Poppy knew they’d kill Barnaby and poisoned the wine. She pretended to drink it as everyone else did, and bit her tongue as she waited for it to work. If it took even just a few more seconds to kick in, Barnaby would’ve been killed

The poison wasn’t lethal, in Poppy’s words, “they’ll shit weird for a week and vomit more then a tween with bulimia, but they’ll live.”

If it wasn’t obvious her parents are transphobic

I don’t have a lot of notso funfacts for Ma.. shes doin ok <3

[dr-peppers-monster]

Alive, With You–Chapter 3: Time Lost, Time Gained

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Read this story on AO3 here!

Fandom: Cyberpunk 2077

Fic Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/V, Johnny Silverhand/Female V

Chapter Summary: V and Johnny spend some quality time together.

——————————————————

V opened her eyes slowly, the morning light pouring into her and Johnny's bedroom. She looked over at her now-husband and saw that he had already been looking at her.

"Hey, you." She whispered, her voice crackly.

"Mornin'." Johnny said, affectionately moving a piece of her hair out of her face.

"You okay?"

"Mhm. Just lookin' at you."

V smiled, but concern washed through her.

"I'm sure I'm looking in peak physical condition with my bedhead right now. Sure you're alright?"

V wiggled over to Johnny's side of the bed and cuddled into the crook of shoulder. He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head.

"All good. Just was thinkin' about things this morning. Used to watch you sleep a lot when I was inside your head."

"And you fell in love with me anyway?" V teased.

"Somehow, despite every ugly face you made."

"Asshole." V laughed, rocking her whole body to gently shove him.

"Just...life's never been so good, ya know? Not used to it, is all. Waitin' for the other shoe to drop. For me to fuck somethin' up, like I always do."

V moved to where she was sitting up, putting her hands over one of Johnny's. She looked into his dark eyes, care and fear in them in equal measure.

"Not a fuckin' chance.” She began. “We've been to hell and back, and probably worse, to be able to just...live. Not giving’ that up for anything. I know it's hard to shake the feelin' that shit is just lurkin' around the corner, but we're allowed to be happy for once in our goddamn lives. You used to be my brainworm, now you're the one who can't get rid of me."

"Hmm." Johnny chuckled lowly. "Just hard to shake the cynicism after all this time, I guess."

V shifted to where she was sitting in Johnny's lap, her legs tucked up behind either side of her.

"We've been through a lot. You've been through a lot. It's not gonna feel better right away." She paused, her expression brightening a bit before she spoke again. "But we've both changed, Johnny. For the better. Us, the two most stubborn assholes to ever darken Night City's doorways."

Johnny put his hands on top of V's thighs, caressing them gently with his thumbs. "Since when are you Mrs. Pep Talk over here?"

"Well, the Mrs. part is recent." V said sweetly, making Johnny smile. "Almost dyin', almost...losin' you. It changes your perspective. The bullshit really didn't matter anymore. Found what really matters." She put her hand on Johnny's cheek, and he turned his face slightly to kiss her palm. "This. Us. Livin', breathin', makin' out and makin' love and all the fun shit we worked so hard to finally get to enjoy. Actually enjoy, not the shit we used to do to numb the pain or be self-destructive. I'm done being so goddamn angry all the time, so fuckin' sad. I want that for you too."

Johnny’s smile grew into a more confident one, his eyes brightening.

"Yeah, fuck bein' sad." He said firmly. "Gonna make sad our bitch."

V laughed, the sound of it making the whole room seem brighter to Johnny.

"That's my Johnny."

"Val...thanks. Know it's not always easy bein' around someone like me."

"You were forcibly stuck in my head for a year and after we got you out I still chose to be around you forever, gonkbrain. Remember? Had a whole party about it, fucked on every square inch of a hotel suite about it, remember all that?"

Johnny exhaled through his nose, grinning. "Couldn't forget."

"I'll pep talk the shit out of you as long as you need. Some days I still feel weird and shitty and sad too. But, and fuck me I am about to sound so sappy right now, I look at you and…it makes all those gross feelings go away."

"That is really, really sappy." Johnny teased her. "Go on."

"Just shut up and come here already." V said in faux exasperation, giving him a big smack of a kiss on his lips and then peppering little kisses all around his face. She then leaned over further to wrap him in a tight hug, gently caressing the back of his head. Johnny sighed deeply, his shoulders becoming less tense by the second as the two of them held one another.

When V pulled back from their embrace they shared a few quiet moments while she ran her fingers gently along his collarbone.

"Hey." She said quietly. "Always come to me about this stuff, kay? I'll do the same."

"Deal."

"Kick your ass if I find out you're sad without me."

Johnny snorted. "I'll hold you to that."

Johnny stretched his arms out above his head, and V took an opportunity to sneak in another tight hug around his waist. His arms fell gently on top of her shoulders.

"Cute when you're sappy." Johnny teased, his voice slightly muffled in her ear.

V pulled back from the hug and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't get used to it. Won't be this nice to you all the time."

"Wouldn't want it any other way."

"So!" V said, her turn to stretch. "What's on the Silverhand agenda today?"

"Don't know about you but I'm fuckin' starvin’." Johnny replied.

"Huh, we haven't eaten since yesterday have we?"

"Uh uh. Would kill for a cheeseburg right about now."

"Fuck that sounds good. Let's do it."

"Is Dani's Diner still around? Greasy spoon kinda' place, just before you really get out into the Badlands. Was popular when I was alive the first go-round."

"It is! God, I haven't thought about Dani's in, shit, a hot minute. If it's been around since your time you know it's an institution."

"You callin' me old, V?"

V giggled. "Bet your ancient ass I am." She draped her arms over his shoulders, leaning in close to his face. "Lucky for you, I'm super into sexy once-dead old dudes."

"Fuck it, I'll take it." Johnny said with a shrug. He closed the distance between them and kissed her until she was dizzy.

"We're never gonna get out of bed with you kissin' me like that, Mister."

"Then I'm doin' my job right." Johnny responded with a cocky smile, taking her face in his hands and kissing her again deeply.

After a quick makeout session, they finally got out of bed to start the day. V went to use the bathroom and when re-entered the bedroom she couldn't help but laugh when she saw Johnny holding Nibbles up under his arms, his legs dangling below him.

"Why are you dangling our cat?" She said, laughter still in her voice.

"This little bastard was trying to scratch up my leather jacket. Gotta learn a lesson."

"Air jail for you, bud!" V said to Nibbles.

"Remember who the real man of this house is." Johnny said to Nibbles, the cat watching him confusedly. "I'll be watchin' you."

Johnny put Nibbles down and Nibbles scampered away, entirely unfazed by the lecture and brief time served in air jail.

"Dudes with cats.” V said, leaning up against the bathroom’s doorframe. “So fucking hot."

"You're bein' way too nice to me today." Johnny said with a grin as he slipped his jacket on over his shoulders. "Don't trust it."

"Good. Keeps you sharp." V said, the movement of her lips driving Johnny wild as she spoke.

"If I wasn't halfway to starvin' to death, know I'd push your sweet ass against that door and take you right now."

"I know." V said, putting a finger under Johnny's chin. "The anticipation makes the fuck all the better later."

Johnny smiled at her proudly, adjusting the growing bulge in his tight pants before they headed out the door.

————————————

Johnny and V took V's favorite bike for their drive out to the desert's edge. Johnny took the throttle, with V's arms wrapped around his waist. The feeling of Night City air flying past them, good tunes blasting from the radio, and his wife's warm arms wrapped tightly around him–this was Johnny's nirvana. He felt on top of the world in moments like this, so far away from the nightmare that had been his and V’s reality only been a few short months ago.

When they pulled up to the diner, Johnny pulled off his helmet and then looked over at V. She slipped her helmet off over her head, shaking her hair out around her. The way the golden sunlight hit her face, her hair shining in the breezy desert air, Johnny felt his heart skip a beat.

"You're too much, girl." He said to her, pulling her to him by her chin and planting a kiss on her lips.

"Learned it from you, baby." V said, her voice the tiniest bit raspy from the dry air. "Being too much, I mean."

"Val's got jokes today." Johnny replied as he put his arm around her shoulder. "How much time you think we got until–"

"5 minutes, tops. Let's try and grab a table first."

When they entered the sleepy roadside diner, a few heads lazily looked over at them. Truckers, local folks, the typical assortment in a place like this. 

"My stars, that is not little Johnny Linder in my diner!" An older woman said in a thick Texan accent, looking at them from across the restaurant's long counter. She was a tall woman with curly brown hair tied up in a 1950s style bandana and a 1950s style blue diner waitress dress to match.

"Ho-ly shit, Betty?" Johnny replied, pulling down his aviators in genuine suprise.
 Betty quickly wiped her hands on the towel in the pocket of her apron and approached Johnny and V.

"I suppose it's Silverhand though these days, ain't it? Big famous rockstar now.”

"Can't believe you're still workin' here." Johnny said. "S’good to see you.”

"So sorry darlin'," Betty said to V, "I was just so blown away by seein’ Johnny in my diner again that I forgot my manners! Johnny, are't you going to introduce me to this lovely young lady?"

"This is my wife, V."

"Just V?" Betty asked.

"Just V." V replied with a smile.

"Well, it sure is lovely to meet you V. Johnny here used to come into this diner all the time when he was just a teen lookin' for trouble. And a triple cheeseburger, of course."

V laughed. "Glad to see nothin's changed!"

Seeing Betty over fifty years older than he remembered hit Johnny in the gut as a reminder of the chunk of time he had lost. But it also reminded him that not everything good in the world disappears forever. Some things, like a cheeseburger at a greasy spoon in the desert, were still right there waiting for him when he got back.

"Wow, Johnny.” Betty continued. “I heard all about everything that happened to you two on the news. It all sounded too wild to be true!"

"Imagine how we feel." Johnny replied with a small grin, crossing his arms in front of him.

“If you don’t mind me askin,” V began, “Who’s Dani?”

“Dani is my momma!” Betty said with a big smile. “God rest her soul, been passed some 20 years now. Ran this place like a well oiled machine. This place was her baby, and now it’s mine.”

“Sounds like she was a real force of nature.” V said admiringly.

"She sure was, honey!” Betty said proudly. “Well, well, I could take your ear off all day. Let's get y'all sat and fed. Come on kids!"

V felt a distinct fondness for Betty immediately, her demeanor a far departure from the people she was used to interacting with.

The couple placed their orders and when Betty walked away, V couldn’t help but notice a faraway look in Johnny’s eyes.

“She was, Christ, maybe 20, 25 when I saw her last?” Johnny said quietly. “This lost time is fuckin’ me up right now.”

“I can imagine how weird that must be. Probably nice to see a familiar face though huh?”

“Strangely enough, it is. Not a lotta people I can say were honestly just nice for the sake of it, ‘specially in Night City. Betty’s good people.”

“Who’s the sap now, Mr. Silverhand?” V teased.

Johnny smiled, and then craned his head a bit to one side.

“Are they here?” V said with an annoyed sigh.

“They’re here. Smile pretty.”

A group of 5 different newscasters and their accompanying photo drones burst through the diner’s doorway, beelining towards the couple.

“Johnny! V! You’re the hottest couple in Night City! Just a few quick questions! Everyone in the city wants to know!” The reporter who got to them first yelled.

Johnny was about to stand up to confront them when V motioned for him to stop.

“Let me handle this one.”

Johnny smiled knowingly and sat back. V was smart, resourceful, and unpredictable. He loved to watch her work.

“Seems a bit rude to interrupt newlyweds on a lunch date, hmm?” V said to the reporter. “I’ll make you a deal.”

Before the reporter could say anything, she was startled by the sound of all of the camera drones belonging to the wave of reporters behind her fizzling out and crashing to the ground in an instant.

“O-okay.” The reporter said in a shaky voice.

“Take a nice chunk’a eddie’s from your editor’s budget and put it in this fine establishment’s tip jar. In exchange, you get to take one picture and I won’t fry your expensive drone like I have all to all the ones behind you. I’m only bein’ nice to you because you pushed through a lotta people to get here first, and that takes some guts.”

Johnny felt his heart pound wildly in his chest watching V do her thing, his bubbly wife turning stone cold the second she re-entered her merc mindset.

“That…seems reasonable.” The reporter said, clearing her throat. “Eddies sent. We good?”

“Fine.”

The reporter gave them a ten second countdown. V sat down next to Johnny, planted a less than PG kiss on his lips and flipped off the camera behind her. Johnny followed suit with his own middle finger, giving the reporters quite a memorable photo indeed.

“Fantastic.” The reporter said, gratitude mixed with fear in her voice. “Thank you, you two.”

“Have a nice day.” V said with a sickeningly sweet fake smile and high pitched voice.

The reporters all left the building and Johnny looked over at his wife, impressed and massively turned on.

“You get me so fuckin’ hot when you do shit like that.” Johnny growled in her ear before kissing the edge of her jawline.

“Interrupting my cheeseburger date with my husband? Fuck ‘em.” V responded, crossing her arms victoriously.

“Wow, that was some way to clear out some nuisances!” Betty said as she approached their table with their food. “‘Preciated the tip, too!” She added with a wink.

“Least I could do, Betty.” V replied apologetically. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“Dealt with worse than some vulture Night City reporters in my day. Some impressive netrunnin’ you did to those drones there, Miss V.”

“She’s one of the best to ever do it.” Johnny said proudly, stretching his arms out behind his head.

“Thank you.” V said. “I have very little patience for people like that.”

“Well you sure got rid of em lickety split! Enjoy your burgers, Mr. & Mrs.”

V and Johnny took bites out of their burgers and there was a few moments of blissful silence.

“Fuck, this is so good.” V finally said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“As good as I remember.” Johnny replied.

“Can’t promise I’m not gonna fall asleep on your shoulder on the ride back.” V joked.

As they were finishing their food, V’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she checked it to see a text from Kerry.

“You two crazy kids!! 😆 Nice pic on the Net!”

Attached to the text was the picture of V and Johnny the reporter had taken.

“Damn, they work fast.” V said with a satisfied grin, showing the photo to Johnny.

“That’s a sexy fuckin’ couple right there.” Johnny replied. “Should frame that one.”

“Bet your ass.” V flirted.

“Gotta give em somethin to talk about!” V replied to Terry. She was about to put her phone away when a few more texts popped up:

Panam Palmer: “You guys are gross 😜 Come visit us sometime!”

River Ward: “Warn me so I can cover my eyes next time, V 😂”

Dino Donivic: “You sexy motherfuckers! Fuck the press! 🤘”

El Capitán: “Qué caliente, mamita! Looks like retirement is treating you well 🔥🔥”

V laughed as her phone pinged over and over.

“We’re bad influences, it seems.” She said, looking mischievously at Johnny.

Johnny shrugged proudly. “Got a reputation to uphold.”

“Got a reputation for bein’ a real showstopper in the sack too.” V said, keeping her voice low. “Gonna uphold that for me later too?”

Johnny felt his skin tingling as V flirted shamelessly with him, watching the way every word poured from her lips like honey.

“Time to go.” Johnny said quickly, and V laughed as they both quickly scooted out of the booth.

“Check’s covered Betty, keep the change.” Johnny said as him and V linked hands and started walking towards the exit.

“Everything was amazing!” V added.

“Thank you sweetie pie. Come back and see me again soon, okay Silverhands?” 

“Will do!” V said, giving Betty a small wave before they rushed out the door.

Betty smiled all she watched the couple leave, then looked down at her register to see the payment V and Johnny had made. To her shock, the “change” Johnny had left was 25,000 eddies.

“Knew there was a good boy in there.” Betty said was a grateful smile.

————————————

V and Johnny arrived home, and walked upstairs to their bedroom. Their top floor had an open balcony where they could see out their home’s large windows and the ground floor below. V leaned back against the railing and put her arms around Johnny’s neck.

“I saw that tip you left at the diner. My Johnny, being so sweet and generous. That really gets me going.” 

Johnny pulled her in closer to him by her waist. “Gonna do somethin’ about it, or–“

“Shut the fuck up–“ V interrupted him, crashing her lips into his and setting his mind instantly ablaze. They were all over each other in an instant, fingers on skin and clothes flying every which way.

V pushed Johnny up against the railway and kissed him down from his lips, to his chin, his neck, down his chest and as she moved further and further down Johnny inhaled sharply in anticipation.

V got on her knees and looked up into Johnny’s eyes as she licked along the length of his erection.

“Fuck, V–“ Johnny groaned, leaning back on the railing for stability.

“You taste so good, baby.” V hummed, taking his tip into her mouth and skillfully maneuvering her tongue around it.

V put one of her hands up on the v line of Johnny’s hips, running her fingers along his body. Johnny felt a delicious chill flow through him as his senses went into overdrive.

Johnny looked down into V’s eyes, her gaze set aglow by a sunbeam passing into the room. She looked at him like he was everything he ever wanted. He felt the need in her eyes, and he needed her just as badly

V worked him with her lips and tongue, moving deeper and faster as he responded to her touch. He moaned, grabbing the top of her head with his organic hand. She felt herself growing wetter and wetter as he writhed in pleasure above her.

“So fucking good–“ Johnny choked out. “Don’t wanna finish yet. C’mere, turn around.”

V popped Johnny out of her mouth like a lollipop and smiled ravenously at him as she stood up. He flipped her around so her body was bent in half over the railing and quickly slipped into her from behind.

“Ah, god baby you fill me up so nice–“ V moaned.

Johnny smacked her ass with his chrome hand, wrapping his organic hand around her jaw as he thrusted into her. He put his hand near her lips and she took one of his fingers into her mouth, biting it gently.

“God damn, you’re fucking perfect–“ Johnny sighed between ragged breaths.

V felt the railing press into her just below her ribs, the slight pain only adding to the beautiful sensory overload she was experiencing.

Johnny angled V’s head around back to him with the hand around her jaw, and their lips met in a crooked, messy kiss.

They gasped into one another’s mouths, both of them rapidly approaching their climaxes.

To V’s surprise, Johnny pulled out of her. He turned her around to face him and lifted her up to where she was sitting on the railing. He used his chrome hand to keep her safely balanced on the railing, and then put himself back inside of her. He wrapped his organic arm around her waist and pulled her in close as he regained his pace, their lips finding each other once again.

V’s moans turned into frenzied cries of pleasure, scratching her nails down Johnny’s back as he ravaged her. He knew they’d leave a mark. And he couldn’t get enough.

“That’s my girl. Scream for me.” Johnny groaned into her ear.

“Fuck baby, Johnny fuck fuck fuck!” V cried out as her orgasm rocked through her, every nerve in her body on fire.

Johnny’s climax soon followed, burying his face in her shoulder as wave after wave of sweet release washed through him.

V moved Johnny’s messy hair out of his face and devoured his lips with hers, desperate for more and more of him.

Johnny lifted V up from the railing and laid her down gently on their bed nearby, positioning himself on top of her as they continued to kiss like their lives depended on it.

When they finally pulled apart for air, Johnny landed with a loud thwump beside her. V immediately took his hand in hers, linking their fingers tightly together. Johnny lifted V’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“You’re so good.” V said, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she worked on catching her breath.

“I am, aren’t I.” Johnny replied, a crooked grin on his face.

V smacked Johnny in the chest with her free arm, making him laugh.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” He said, looking over at her with his big brown eyes as he kissed her hand again.

“Mhm, don’t puppy dog eyes me.”

“Know you can’t resist.”

“Fuck off.“ V laughed. “…hate that you’re right.”

“Know you got me wrapped around your finger, girl.” Johnny said, his tone softening. “Pisses me off how down bad I am.”

“Being in love is so fucking annoying right?” V joked. “We’re supposed to be these cool independent badasses and then we just had to go and fall in love with each other.”

“Truly tragic.” Johnny teased, stretching his arm out for V to cuddle up to him. She quickly did just that, resting her arm across his chest.

“You wouldn’t trade it for anything.” V said sweetly.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll keep ya around.” Johnny responded, kissing her forehead.

The room grew quiet, save for the thumping rhythm of their still-racing heartbeats.

“Johnny?” V said, so quietly it was nearly inaudible.

“Hm?”

“Just…love you. A whole lot. Mean it.”

Johnny put his hand under V’s chin and lifted her face up to kiss her. This kiss was gentle, romantic, devoted.

“Love you, my Valerie. Always. Mean it.”

V smiled so brightly that Johnny couldn’t help but smile himself. Love looked good on both of them.

← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

[deemoloney]

man, i ain't never once thought about llamas makin' sounds. for real, do they even got voices or what?

edit: yo, why the fuck these bitches chirpin’ like that? god just rolled up, sparked one, and whipped out this weird ass beast. that thing really out here lookin’ like some big bird, horse, and donkey had a baby. straight ugly and soundin’ like a freak. that shit's insane.

[shaunsummers]

Two Dykes Went Up to Georgia

"Hmph. You think I get tired of spending time with you?" Lilith knew what she meant but the repetition flew by with little acknowledgement. Sure, it was the same old hole in the wall time and time again; but it was nice on every occasion. Shaun, undoubtedly, had everything to do with that. With her, any casual outing or a night in provided charm and entertainment. Even something as simple as patio smoke breaks could turn into its own thing. "You're easy. I love that." She smiles, giving a little reassurance with the cup of Shaun's cheek.

The creeping warmth between them, however, failed to pass unnoticed; but Lilith kept her lips sealed of its existence. She wouldn't ruin the sweet moment. Not to mention an urge she couldn't fulfill. In time, sure enough, her want would return to baseline; but as for now, she couldn't even humor the thought. With all that had surrounded her life, the temptation of sex was little more than a memory.

"But you seem set on sweeping me off my feet. So, let's go." A gleam brings color to her eyes as she leaves her touch with a parting kiss into Shaun's hair, begrudgingly forgoing any effort to change her attire; she couldn't bring herself to let Shaun suffer what would surely be a long winded display of choice paralysis.

"You know, I could even collab with Lilith. If we combined all our dog shit exes, it'd be like a red flag data base. Scratch that, we'd need Siren, too; because, oh my fucking God, I could never. Imagine if we put all those red flags into an AI. It'd generate a super mega sentient fuck boy. Crazy but, you know what, you're right. Lucky me, I didn't end up in a trailer somewhere in the back end of Appalachia, with my hair in curlers, smoking Virginia Slims, and not knowing if that was one of my kids that screamed or a wendigo. Wouldn't that be a nightmare? I'd definitely be on coke in that scenario." In a brief moment of reflection, Robin casts a glance into the mirror with a sigh. It would be so nice, though, to have a special someone that wasn't a complete ass hat. Why was that so hard? She couldn't find the answer within, only a sudden craving for mimosas.

---------

What must've been a passive statement for Lilith, in contrast, gripped Shaun's chest with its warmth. It was difficult to take her eyes off of her, and maybe the comment on being 'easy' could've been taken poorly in another time, with another person, but it was the way Lilith looked at her that deflected her from sinking into any doubt. No one had ever really looked at her like that. At least, not that Shaun could remember. It was unnerving how pleasant it would be to do nothing at all but stay here, hold her, and be contented with it. On that front, she understood the meaning of Lilith's words.

"I do recall warning you about that." Helpless to her lure, Shaun saunters in behind her with a giddy smile as she scoops Lilith into her arms to take her off her feet, quite literally. "You look gorgeous, by the way." With a light laugh, Shaun gives into the temptation to steal one more kiss from her, beaming like a fool in the eagerness to escort her out and onward towards the plans she'd made. "Do you have everything you need? I packed a cooler in case we get food." And to keep the bottle of champagne she'd buried in the ice cool, but that was a later surprise.

"Coke? Probably meth." Quinn chortles at the vision of Robin as some trailer park octo-mom. It was hard to picture as any sort of reality, though. "Can't see it. You're too fuckin' weird to end up makin' Superbowl nachos for some douche-nozzle and 2.5 kids. He'd 'disappear on a hunting trip' way too fuckin' fast."

Twisting the cap back on the ointment, Quinn straightens with finality. "Finished up here, though...Wait, you think wendigos are real?"

[friesian]

1,2,6,16,20 for Marwyd and Tiyrnan (@likemesomesalads)

THAT'S A LOT OF PIZZA (QUESTIONS)!!! LETS DO IT!!! WOO HOO!!!

MARWYD:

Who makes up your family?  How close are you to them?

"Ahhhh.. well, uh, that's a complicated one. Obvious answer is my sister, Niddhil. Closest person I got. We've been through it all together. Everythin'. All the highs'n lows that a Commander could possibly face-- and she stuck by with me until the end. Hell, she ended up even havin' a nephew. Little guy is my pride'n joy… did you know he could box? I didn't. She took me to one of his junior boxin' courses a few months back and I ain't ever seen a boy with more fire in his eyes at only a few years old. I think he could maybe even beat the shit out of me on day when he's older!"

"Otherwise there's… my father. Ishmayl. I uh, I dunno if I wanna talk about him, though. Basic rundown is that he's the person who found me when I came outta that oasis and took care of me. Taught me the ropes of life… but uh, ya'know. Shit don't always go as planned, I guess. Fuck if I know."

"… just don't ask me about'em anymore, alright?"

Who is your best friend?  Tell us about them!

"Well, I got asked about Hua-- guess I'll talk about Lei now. Zheng Hualei. Lei's.. he's… uh, really somethin'. I see a lot of myself in him some days. Other days, he's nothin' like me. We met at a Gala. Guy called my sister a bitch so I threw his ass into a fountain. Ever since, he hated my guts. To the point where he tricked me into punchin' Hua-- since he and Hua share a body. Long story."

"Anyways, after everythin', I learned that kindness sorta made'em go away? And I started bein' more 'kind', as much as I could. But… ya'know how they say the ones who need the most kindness are the ones that are the hardest to give it to? That applied here. But it sorta worked in the long run. He's nicer now. Says sorry. Thank you. Even likes spendin' time with me now. Gives me gifts that ain't shards of glass stuck in candy. Fer my birthday, he carved me a horse from memory… even has a little cut in the ear just like me. Cute little thing, honestly."

"Only complaint I have is that he gets WEIRD with me. Like, really weird. Stares at me, gets high and starts talkin' about how 'pretty' my eyes are, found some weird ass scraps of paper where he just writes my name over and over. Y'all know he even drew me once? I didn't know. Good drawin' though, but… the way he found even the smallest little feature to draw on me was odd. Little shit is weird. But.. at least he's kind…er. Kinder."

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do? [COPY PASTED]

"Leave home. Probably. You spend twenty damn years under someone's thumb. Beck and call. Their ire. Their eye. Then you just gotta leave everythin' you know behind fer some weird land that you don't barely know a lick about. I gave it all up. Fer what I have now, I'd say it's worth it-- sometimes. The job I got ain't anythin' I would've picked. Fuck, I would've gone back to outlawin' by now had that shit with the damn Tree not happened. Ah well, but… I know everyone I know now. I know my sister. I know my best friends."

"… but sometimes, I do wonder about my family."

Describe your perfect day. [COPY PASTED]

"Hm.. probably goin' to a rodeo. Maybe spendin' time with Saint Elmo'n my flock of birds. Barbeque at the end, and campin' out in the desert. Sounds like my kinda day. Ain't complicated."

Describe your biggest pet peeve.

"Stupid motherfuckin' people makin' a big ass showboat out of themselves to be the center of attention. It's LOUD. It's ANNOYIN'. They don't know when to STOP. Why do you EVEN NEED attention? It's nothin' but a pain in the ass fer all involved. I could be doin' work. Studyin'. Cleanin' up messes or fixin' shit, and here you are doin' everythin' in your power to have eyes look at you. The HELL DO YOU NEED IT FER? KNOCK IT OFF."

TIYRNAN

Who makes up your family?  How close are you to them?

"As a firstborn I suppose that I have many brothers and sisters. None of which, I am close to. They all disgust me in their own little ways. Too kind. Too obnoxious. Too considerate. None of them ever resonated with me. Save.. for one, of course, but we do not talk about them."

"The short version for you is that I care not for family, and I care not for connections."

Who is your best friend?  Tell us about them!

"I do not have friends. See above. I do not care for connections."

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

"Abscond the mortal limits to become something that one may find to be nothing but a monster. Truly, it was painful. Every part of my body twisted and turned into something that was only parallel to the self. A reflection, yes, but one in oil. Where your own eyes can't see past something so abstract, clouded, darkened, and misremembered. Someone made that thing you call a body, long, long ago… but they turned it into something utterly wrong. Perhaps that's what I am. Misremembered. Though, I do see clearly enough now. And what I see is…"

"Hm…"

"Perhaps it's best for me not to complete that thought."

Describe your perfect day.

"A perfect day? That's the day I finally find myself with my hands wrung around the neck of that fool that everyone calls 'Commander'. The perfect day, is the day that I see the light that burned within them completely snuffed out by the heel of my boot as I drag his corpse alongside me to be twisted and mangled into something that is completely unrecognizable-- beyond even what the mind can place back together. An unsolvable puzzle. An unidentifiable body. Truly, a perfect goddamn day."

Describe your biggest pet peeve.

"People preaching to me about ethics, or morals, or any of that. Do you think science cares for your morals? Do you think life cares for your ethics? I will tell you one thing right here, right now. Were it not for people like me who did not care for these things, we would not know what half of the bacterium and viruses on this planet would do. We would not know how the body works. We would know not know anything in terms of science. And if I hear one more person attempt to moralize my work towards me, I can assure you that we will find out what the advanced stages of a prion disease can do the mind and body."

[meadowmines]

The Bit, Chapter 4: Nishiki Finds Out

[this will probably be the last WIP post for this fic, 'cause from here on out it's all massive spoiler territory :) ]

“So... wait. All this was just--”

“A bit. Yeah.”

“But now you’re really--”

“Yeah.”

Nishikiyama drops his head into his hands and groans over his plate of cod roe spaghetti. “This is too much. What the hell, Kiryu.”

“It was his idea,” Kiryu says.

Yeah, that’s fair. “You went along with it,” Majima says anyway. “Listen, Nishikiyama, I’m real sorry about all of... that.” He’s not actually that sorry and part of him wants to hang a little tiny lampshade on the fact that Nishikiyama was kind of a dick about all this too but he figures this is neither the time nor the place. “I just wanna know one thing.”

Nishikiyama gets this look on his face, this look of creeping dread like he’s bracing for the worst question ever and Majima doesn’t think it’s entirely unjustified. “...what?”

Majima nods in Kiryu’s general direction. “How the fuck did he sell ya on it?” 

“N-nii-san!”

“We both know he can’t lie for shit. How’d he do it?”

“Look, I thought it was fishy too but--” Nishikiyama sputters out a laugh. “You know how sometimes you say something to him and he just kinda latches onto it and he starts talking like he physically can’t shut up about it?”

“Nishiki!” Boy, that’s an interesting color Kiryu is turning. Matches his shirt real nice.

“Ya infodumped at him,” Majima says. “About me.”

Kiryu shrugs helplessly, a silent I guess!? plain on his crimson face.

“You only do that about stuff you’re really into, y’know?” Nishiki gently punches his poor mortified bro in the arm. “Like I said. I thought it was weird but I know you.”

“Kaaaaz.” God. This is the cutest shit and it’s almost making Majima forget why they’ve got Nishikiyama here. He digs his chin into Kiryu’s shoulder and beams up at him and bats his eyelashes like a teenager. “What’d you wax all poetic n’ shit about, huh?”

“It wasn’t poetic, I just--”

“My cool outfit? My gorgeous smile? My sick abs--”

“Your cooking,” Nishikiyama says. 

Majima hears the needle in his head scratch unceremoniously across whatever record is sending stupid shit to his mouth. “Haw?”

“He likes your cooking,” Nishikiyama repeats. “And how you’re always helping him with the housework and stuff.”

Majima clears his throat. “Okay. You don’t have to--”

“And how you always listen to me when I start infodumping at you,” Kiryu supplies. He’s slightly less red now and he’s got that kind of evil kind of sexy little grin. “Even if you don’t care about what I’m talking about, you still pay attention. And you ask me what I think about stuff.”

“Well--”

“And he said he likes your hair. And then you said he likes your hair, so y’know... either you were both in on something together, or you were really into each other--”

“Awright, awright, enough of that!” Majima barks. Kiryu snickers and wraps an arm around him. “We didn’t call ya over here to talk about us makin’ googoo eyes at each other, we got business n’ shit to take care of.” And thank God for that, he thinks, even though he knows he’s going to regret thinking it later.

[noodle-the-queen]

My live reactions to Midnights

-Lavender Haze: I think he knows vibes for sure. Very lover. LOVE IT -Maroon: Already reminds me of something from 1989. OOOH king of my heart vibes???? This is like if King of My Heart and This Love had a baby. Also those wavy synths???? In love. -Anti-Hero: not what I expected!!!! Way chiller than I thought it would be. Lover vibes for sure. “Must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero” OMG? This bridge is amazing holy heck this is gorgeous. “It’s me. I am the problem, it’s me.” SAME GIRL. -Snow on the Beach: the intro. I’m already in love. Chorus has the same vibe as “don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby” AHHHHH LANA MY LOVE!!!!! This is beautiful. “Weird but fuckin beautiful” HELLO YES ITS ME?!THIS IS GORGEOUS -You're on your own, kid: Baby Taylor vibes. Like if she had started out with pop instead of country. It's adorable. Come Back, Be Here vibes. These lyrics OH MY GOD THAT BRIDGE???? "I hosted parties and starved my body, Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss, The jokes weren't funny, I took the money, My friends from home don't know what to say" I AM FEELING ATTACKED???? Again with the wavy/crunchy synths??? SO GOOD -Midnight Rain: IN LOVE WITH THIS INTRO IT'S SO GOOD. That's two songs with lyrics about not wanting to be a bride? Interesting....I like that. This has to be about Tom Hiddleston btw. Like for sure. Also it reminds me of That's the Way I loved you for some reason? -Question..?: THE INTRO FROM OUT OF THE WOODS I AM GONNA CRY RIGHT NOW also Reputation vibes. Already. "And every single one of your friends was makin' fun of you, But fifteen seconds later, they were clappin' too? Then what did you do?" DANNNNNNNG GIRL. The chorus is so good omg. - Vigilante Shit: Already my favorite. This is Reputation reborn. I AM IN LOVE. It's like if No Body No Crime was on Reputation instead. Ex wife getting her revenge. THE BRIDGE??? - Bejeweled: YES. "Did all the extra credit then got graded on a curve" I relate in a literal and figurative sense lmfao. 1989 vibes - Labyrinth: GUYS SHE SAID THE THING FROM THE SPEECH GUYS SHE SAID THE THING!!!!! "Oh no i'm falling in love again" same girl. same. This is the anxiety girlie anthem and I'm here for it. - Karma: OOOOH ALREADY LOVE IT. THESE SYNTHS ARE GORGEOUS. This is so good omg omg omg. I know places and LWYMMD vibes for sure. TAKE THAT, KANYE. - Sweet Nothing: Aw this is precious. She finally got someone who doesn't use her for something. Someone who just wants her sweet nothings omg my heart can't take it <333333 - Mastermind: We've made it to unofficial end, folks. She really is a Mastermind, guys. But also this is such a perfect closing track I love it so much. That BASS???? goodness lordy me the synths are PERFECT IN THIS ALBUM. The subtle sarcasm in that bridge omg......god this is so good.

Overall thoughts: I love it. Way more chill than I thought it would be, this is gonna be perfect for sobbing in my room at, you guessed it, Midnight. It's beautiful, it has folklore/evermore lyrics and 1989/lover/reputation sounds. I can't wait to hyperfixate on this for the next few weeks lol.

[despairforme]

I have this weird little headcanon that nnoitra is misogynistic because hes a closet gay, since its pretty common for closet gays who cant except to come to resent women

❝ How 'bout NOT fuckin' makin' up theories 'bout me? Mind yer own fuckin' business! ❞ Was he being aggressive about this? Yeah. He'd been told many times that he was a misogynist. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. He knew his view on women was considered wrong, or whatever. Which was weird, because obviously it was the correct view, since it was based on fucking reality. The whole "men and women are equal" was the dumbest shit he'd ever heard in his entire fucking life. Whatever. That was not what he was focusing on here. He was FAR more concerned with being called a closet gay. Because that --- Was partly true. Nnoitra was not gay - he was bisexual. But he was closeted. He was perceived by the world as a straight guy, and he preferred it that way. People associated femininity with same-sex-attraction in males, and LIKE HELL he wanted anything to do with that shit! He fucking hated the flamboyant gays who marched in the pride parades and acted like fucking feminine degenerates. It was because of them that Nnoitra had to keep his sexuality a secret.

There was nothing about Nnoitra that gave away his sexuality, and so he was always offended when people called him gay or whatever. He saw that as an attack on his masculinity. Being male, being manly - those things were important to him. He was glad he got to live his life as a normal straight dude. If people found out he was into guys, there was no way he could keep working at his job. That place was not safe for a same-sex attracted man. Everyone would see him differently. See him as weak. He didn't want that. So, he was keeping it a secret.

That didn't mean he didn't sleep with guys. He just wasn't open about it, and when he'd dated guys, he hadn't been displaying affection in public ( something that had really bothered Grimmjow ).

He wouldn't say that his sexuality had anything to do with how he viewed women, but it might have something to do with how much he hated femininity in guys. Mah, whatever. Why should he have to act a certain way, just because he happened to find men sexually attractive? Why did he have to belong to some sort of community? When he had NOTHING in common with those freaks?