#i really need to figure out how to therapy lol

[alas--pringles]

I was already thinking my suspicions about my brain were a bit more confirmed the past few days due to getting irrationally overly frustrated with a combination of "black and white thinking" "a strong sense of justice" and no one understanding what i was actually trying to communicate.

Then the "all your friends only tolerate you at besr, notice how whenever youre the one trying to make plans they never happen?" mean brain thoughts started up after work which only reminded me of plans i was trying to make (with an entirely separate group than the thoughts were mainly about.) Started that conversation again and. Wow what do you know the plans evaporated.

Ive been emotional in so many different ways before, like lowkey panicking or being anxious for various reasons, or like what may count as RSD (i usually just call it the mean part of my brain.) But this felt different. Sometimes emotions make me quieter or less talkative of course but ive never in my life experienced being nonverbal or anything. Idk if this was that but its the only way i can describe it. I was alone in my room, i wasnt trying to talk out loud, but it felt like i couldnt even really type words. Like i was basically limited to emojis, maybe gifs. (That dumb post about sodo with the emojis last night? That was then, i was looking for emojis and found the 🤏 which reminded me of him mocking rain lol.) So maybe theres a different word than just a general minor emotional breakdown for whatever last night was. Meltdown? Shutdown? Idk.

I'm ok now, probably need a break from certain topics, but wanted to get my thoughts about my weird brain out.

[yourcalamity]

im about to have such a potent opportunity to disappear into the woods forever it itches

[gibbearish]

huh

[kakiastro]

Astrology Notes:

Mercury Edition

This is what my astrology notes look like lol

-People who have a Mercury-Uranus aspect can indicate having lots of intelligence. These are the “mad geniuses” of our world. These native may have lots of ideas on how to help humanity as a whole. You might be in a lot of controversies over your words or be misunderstood. On the flip side of this aspect, this can indicate someone who has a strong knowledge of it all personality and don’t want to hear others options. May get offended easy and loves to argue.

-Mercury/Moon aspect natives need to control their emotions before they speak especially if you have it in a harsher aspect like a square or opposition. You may get flustered or your feelings may get hurt easily. These natives are sensitive to words, they may act like they don’t care but it definitely hurt their heart. On the flip side, they may be mostly the quiet type of people. Once they open up, it’s like a whole different person lol. They also have a strong intuition, they understand people more than they let on. They also have a soft spot for babies and young kids.

-Mercury Capricorn/10h natives has a lot of wisdom within them. They start learning harsh lessons during there early years. Usually by the time they reach their first Saturn return, they may sound like a retired 60 year old giving out advice due what they’ve endured 😅 Capricorn rules over time, so as they get older, the more introspection they have on the word. These are the perfect natives to receive advice from because of the lived experience. On the flip side, if these natives use their words or actions to hurt others, it will come back. Capricorn is one of the “power” placements , hence why it rules the 10h(highest point our chart) so moral of the story, use your words for good. Make stretching your daily routine, your cap Mercury will one day thank you. Also, take care of your teeth, even if you can’t afford to go the dentist , brush them and floss.

-Mercury/Jupiter aspect natives have a thirst for knowledge and seeking the truth. They don’t believe in the theory “not everything has an answer.” Because to them it does, you’re just too stupid to them to find it but they will😅don’t lie, y’all know it’s true! These natives will make excellent historians, professors, gurus, researchers, writers. They are pretty open about their beliefs and don’t mind debating you about them.

-Mercury Pisces/12h natives occasionally experience brain fog😅 they have the ideas and creativity but they’re time when their brain is filled with smoke😭 sometimes they just be talking and we don’t know what their talking about but they have beautiful voices so we let it slide lol. Speaking of voices, they are incredibly singers, like you just get lost or hypnotized by their words. Listening to frequency music or Lo-fi songs will help soothe y’all mind. Take care of feet, clip your big toe nail and put some lotion on them. Don’t be out here with goblin feet😭

-Mercury Sagittarius/9h natives loves foreign cultures and always traveling some damn where chile😅 these natives are either anti-religious or very religious. They may also just like studying religion as an interest without really holding those beliefs themselves. May have lots of father figures growing up. May have their own library of books and publications they love to keep. These natives, like Capricorn are also good at giving advice because they’re constantly researching or reading to find answers. Take care of y’all legs by stretching, running, even if you’re disabled, if you can, physical therapy or someone you trust can stretch your legs for you. I know everyone circumstances is different and that’s ok! Do what you can with what you got!

-Chiron Gemini /3h words can be so healing but triggering at the same time. They tell it like it is and it can sting but at the same, their advice can help the collective. They may have a wound with a sibling(s) . They could’ve been bullied in elementary school. These people at their best, turn their pain into healing and help others. They may understand the misunderstood people in our world. At worst, they use their pain to hurt others , they may have started out doing that but then started learn and heal. It really depends on the person because we all have free will.

-Chiron is said to associated with Virgo since it’s a healer astroid. It’s also associated with Sagittarius because he’s a teacher and a centaur which are ruled by Jupiter.

-Mercury/Venus natives have such beautiful voices and has a way with words😍these are the true charmers, they way that they can make you fall in love with them with just their voice and words. If they decided to write a book, it would get lots of attention especially if they write romance and poetry.

-Mercury Aries’s /1h natives loves cussing and has a potty mouth on them for sure 😅y’all put a sailor to shame. They may come off as brash with their words even though they mean well. You just have to listen to the words and not the tone sometimes😅. I also notice these natives tend to get lots of headaches or migraines with this placement.

I’ll stop here but I might make a part 2 to this. Let me know what Mercury placements or aspect you want me to make note on. I’m also open for paid readings if you’re interested!

[deezneezz]

Leona & ADD

I got a few ppl (on twitter) wanting me to elaborate on Leona and ADD, so I figured I will share my thoughts here as well, please be nice it's just a personal hc. You don't have to agree at all!! Since it contains some personal experiences I ask of people to please be kind about it!

Anyway, Leona and ADD.

I think a lot of people usually agree on Floyd and Kalim having ADHD, but Leona actually shows a lot of lesser talked about traits of ADHD. Namely Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), sensitivity to clothing/textures (he doesn't like restrictive clothes).

He also has the more commonly talked about traits of course, executive dysfunction being a big one. And his depression definitely exacerbates these traits, when i was undiagnosed and depressed i used to sleep my entire days away. I wasn't getting anything done anyway.

Not to mention not sleeping properly, so I was desperate to find moments to sleep during the day. I've slept on floors, on toilets, in an abandoned corner in uni instead of going to class. I was just *so* tired all the time I didn't want to sit in class, I wanted to sleep.

I was lucky I passed classes without studying, cause i would've never gotten through uni otherwise. I still took longer than necessary. The moment my support system (Ruggie, anyone?) graduated and left I had no one taking care of my basic needs, and I certainly didn't.

I had a dorm mate who cooked for me, made sure I had even an ounce of self-care, and also looked at my room and said "hmm, Deniz, maybe it's time to clean up a little" and then I very reluctantly admitted that it may have gotten a little out of hand.

She would just sit in my room sometimes chilling around while I cleaned cuz that was one of the few ways I cleaned at all (this is a real thing for ADHD, called body doubling. It works). Ruggie arriving at NRC and Leona suddenly performing tons better in school is no coincidence.

Coming back to RSD.. I mean I don't really have to explain it do I.. book 2, Lilia's scathing remarks, the shame of disappointing his dorm, etc. I know a lot of ppl call book 2 an 'overreaction' but like, this is genuinely what it feels like internally when RSD triggers

book 6 too, Jamil's over-protectiveness is clearly (to the audience) smth that's mostly Jamil's own habits and trauma doing. But to Leona it's a rejection/insult to his ability to take care of himself, his skill, etc. This was genuinely smth that set me off too.

"How dare you try to explain to me smth I already know, do you think I'm stupid?" "You're not like me." The unwillingness to admit that someone may be relatable in any way because making any comparison to yourself makes you vulnerable to what you haven't achieved for yourself.

"I would ace these classes too if I wasted my time and life studying as much as they did, but I actually love myself." <- guy who was jealous and did not know he was coping and didn't study cause of executive dysfunction and concentration issues.

Leona clearly knows a lot about the things he genuinely cares about, Ancient spell language, chess, magishift, so its kind of funny to see him so low effort in classes. Though honestly i know the game also says that "Leona already knows all this stuff" so.. who knows really...

Now I'm more chill but I used to legitimately go off the handle a little cuz RSD doesn't really care about whether the shit u feel is proportional to the offence it physically hurts in your chest and you just wanna burn down the world at that exact time and... IS THAT NOT LEONA...

TLDR: give Leona therapy and meds, lol.

[purifiedclitoris69]

In it together

Hiii. I am alive, just very busy and overwhelmed with living ig. College fucking sucks and so does everything else rn, but figured i get a lil blurb out before i have to lock back into my classes. hope you enjoy!! don’t really know what ima do w my series or when ima update so i am sorry bout that LOL. anyway bye for now 👋👋

You were absolutely exhausted. A 2 week mission with only 3 hours of sleep total takes an intense toll, even if you are a super soldier. Letting the burning hot water run down your back , flashes of the recent mission ran through your mind. The experiment files were horrific, so many deaths, so many children.

You had only been at the compound for about a year and a half now, the team rescuing you from Hydra’s control like Bucky. You were free of the brainwash but not of the memories and this long ass mission had brought it all right back to the surface. It was getting better, your in therapy, bonding with the team, learning how to control your strength, your growing. But this mission, feels like it’s all about to come crumbling down. It made you feel sick. Thoughts of losing yourself, the team… of losing, Natasha, it burned your throat.

What you have with Natasha is confusing, complicated, but nice. No one else knows the true nature of it but you two. Falling into each others beds continuously for the past 8 months, staying tangled in each other, every single night, cuddling, and giggling like little teen girls. The team simply thought you guys were close friends, both you two being spies, it wasn’t too hard to hide your extracurriculars. But you both knew it was more, so much more. You held each other in the most gentlest ways…the most loving, opting not to leave one another when you guys inevitably came undone. In front of the team, you had a front, a quiet brooding one, but with her, it was peaceful, relieving, you felt free, like yourself. It was absolutely terrifying.

Not realizing it tears were beginning to mix with the water running down your face and crescent marks formed in your palms from clenching your fists too hard. You love her. You’re in love with her, but how could you tell her, would you. Your whole life you’ve been used as a weapon, serving for the military, then hydra. You were dangerous…a monster. It was late, almost 2 am, you couldn’t go to her now, she need rest, not a burden. no matter how much you yearned for her warmth. Turning off the burning water, you stepped out into the steam filled bathroom. Drying off, you wrapped the towel around your waist and another draped over your shoulders, you opened the door to your bedroom-on your bed sat Nat. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, her hair was slightly ruffled, she wore an old shirt of yours, and some of her loose sleep shorts. She looked absolutely stunning, you couldn’t help but give a soft tired smile.

“hi.” she spoke softly with a matching smile.

“hi,” you answered stopped in place just taking her in.

“you gonna get dressed,” she smirked tiredly, “tho i don’t mind.”

“oh really” you joked walking over to her and cupping her face as she looked up at you, “i missed you,” you spoke softly the tiredness bringing out a transparency.

She leaned into your hand closing her eyes, “i missed you,” she answered. Your heart swelled and the flashes came back, you could hurt her, what if you lose it. Suddenly taking a step back her cheek still warm from your touch, her eyes flew open. You turned your back, getting dressed by your closet, “is everything okay,” she asked as you pulled your tank top over your head and braced yourself against your dresser.

You opened your mouth unsure what you wanted her to know, “yeah,” was all you could muster.

“I really did miss you,” she walked up behind you wrapping her arms around your waist and leaning her check against your back, just enjoying your smell, “i don’t sleep well without you anymore.”

“me either,” you turned around wrapping your own arms around her middle and looking to the side as hers went to your neck, “it was a rough mission,” you mumbled

“oh, baby,” she spoke, moving her hands to your face this time, “look at me please,” your eyes were burning with unshed tears as they met her soft deep green ones, “oh, my love, it’s okay,” she brought your head down to her shoulder as you released a shaky breath and let your arms fall from around her waist, “is there something else,” she asked dropping her own hands. You walked past her to sit on the bed not really sure where to start as you looked at your hands in your lap, “we don’t have to talk about it, it’s okay,” she spoke sitting beside you and gently take your hands in her own.

You finally looked back at her face, your eyes still glossy. You stared deep into each others eyes, “you’re so beautiful, Natasha,” you said memorizing every detail of her. She laughed quietly as a soft blush rose to her face.

“Shut up,” she said putting her forehead against hers.

She closed her eyes at the action as yours remained open, “I mean it, you’re the prettiest girl there is.”

Her blush grew as she pulled back and looked away slightly, “god i love you,” she mumbled out casually bringing shock to both your faces. She immediately pulled her hands away and stood from the bed, her mouth opening and closing unsure what to say as you looked at her, overwhelmed with emotions, “y/n i’m sorry i-“

“You do?” you asked getting up from the bed with her, “you love me?”

“I..” She spoke uncertain, taking a deep breath in, “y/n i’m in love with you.” You laughed slightly in disbelief. You moved towards her with purpose grabbing her waist and pulling her into a bruising kiss, pouring every amount of love into it as possible, like it was the last time, like you were consumed by everything Natasha. You both grinned wide into the kiss, forcing the two of you to break apart.

Taking a deep breath, “Tasha, I..,” the thoughts all came rushing back. Your going to hurt her, you don’t deserve this love, your going to lose it all.

She moved her hands down from your neck to intertwine with your own, “I know,” she whispered.

“I really do,” you said, your foreheads still pressed together, “I..,” your mouth fell open and closed absolutely terrified to say something wrong, “Im just scared,” you mumbled, closing your eyes, but never dropping your hold.

“Don’t be,” she answered, moving her hands back up to cup your face, “we’re in this together.”

[dorims]

last christmas (i gave you my heart).

gif creds @/fightingdragonswithwho

pairing. roman roy x reader

wc. 1.6k

genre. fluff

Spending every holiday under Logan Roy’s roof wasn’t necessarily a problem. But just like any other family gathering, the pot tended to be stirred until have a holly jolly Christmas sounded either like a call for help or the theme song from the Saw franchise. for a change, maybe spending christmas away from his family would do him good. you can only hope he agrees.

tags. NOT beta-ed(?), english isn't my first language // established relationship (fiancee/married, i havent decided yet lol), brief mention of alcohol, allusion to roy family dynamics, roman and reader are the only characters in this one

a/n. idc that its march and the fact im not big on christmas either, this one really fun to write! hope you enjoy

“So,” You test the waters, lathering the bristles of your toothbrush with the bubblegum toothpaste in the process. In tune with the routine you had wordlessly established, you locked eyes with him through the mirror. Not before letting your eyes roam over his relaxed figure of course. Surprisingly intimate, you would describe the way he liked to watch you while you finished your nightly routine. He would look so painfully comfortable, maybe even serene, as he let his body rest against the doorframe as his eyes lidded with perpetual fatigue, took in the mundanity of watching you lather your face with creams and face wash.“I’ve been thinking.”

He hummed in acknowledgement, though it sounded more like a stifled laugh. “That's new, how's that going for you?"

“Funny.” The foam in your mouth was of no help at conveying the faux annoyance, balancing out the deadpan you sported with a dose of conveniently muffled speech. Not intimidating at all, it only caused his grin to grow wider. And contagious as always, you leaned over the sink to spit the toothpaste in an attempt to hide a smile of your own, though the thick layer of adoration in your eyes gave it away. 

“I’m just saying,” he raised his hands in mock surrender, finally walking inside to lean against the marble counter right next to you. “I only wanna know how it feels to lose your, you know, thinking virginity after giving no signs of brain activity for how long? Like—“

“You can tell yourself how it feels when you lose it.”

“Oh you want to fuck my brain so bad—“

“I’ve been thinking,” You cut him off with an amused smile, taking him in once more. Big round eyes shone with mischief along a hint of sheepishness as he noticed you looking at him. Really looking at him under the vanity lights with messy hair from running his hands through the strands all day and finally wearing the matching pajamas set you had gotten for him in a pretty navy blue because wearing a matching set made you feel good and you wanted him to feel the same way. Always. 

“You've been thinking…” he rolled his eyes as if to hold back another quip now that you had restarted the conversation. The pinkish hue you were so familiar with made a small appearance as you let your fingers brush over his, gently coaxing him to intertwine his hands with yours. Not that he needed much convincing, though. 

“We should spend Christmas this year with my family.”

At the beginning of your relationship, you were sure he would’ve pulled his hand out of your grasp. You could see the way he had to swallow down the urge to do so from the pensive furrow of his brows while the side of his brain in charge of his critical thinking tried to convince him that your words weren’t an attack on his family. He was still working on it, the lousy therapy sessions here and there helped a little, but he still found himself opening his mouth to complain.

“I know what you’re gonna say but think about it, Romeo.” Thankfully, you took the steering wheel before he could start. “My family loves you and we haven’t spent Christmas with them in like, ever, actually.”

Which wasn’t his fault, and you made sure to tell him so, leaning closer until your knee touched his and giving him a quick peck on his lips before he could protest.

Spending every holiday under Logan Roy’s roof wasn’t necessarily a problem. It was nice to exist alongside the people that Roman loves, the people he grew up around. Watching him interact with his siblings could be endearing. So much so that sometimes you wished you could record their banter and laughter so he could listen back and for a moment picture that things between them were okay. But just like any other family gathering, the pot tended to be stirred until have a holly jolly Christmas sounded either like a call for help or the theme song from the Saw franchise.

“Every year we celebrate in a different place,” you toyed with the idea in front of his eyes like one would a cat’s toy, using your smile to build momentum to the grand reveal that at this point didn’t even sound grand to you. “last Christmas was Italy and this year we’re doing Greece.”

“Since when do you have a house in Greece?” He asked, toying with your fingers as his gaze locked itself on them. It was a good sign he was asking.

“We don’t,” the sound of your animated chuckle helped to loosen his shoulders. Though it didn’t dissipate his slight confusion, it always felt good to have you close like this. “It’s Kelly’s house— eh, her parents’ but sharing is caring or whatever…”

He let out a chuckle of his own. The sound made all sorts of warmth bloom in your chest, maybe even cute aggression if you felt like being dramatic. 

“And after we can spend New Year's just the two of us wherever you want.” He shrugged in a silent response, still pensive, and you couldn’t help but coo at him as if to coax him out of his shell. “It’s gonna be so much fun, they’ve been asking about us and the kids adore you, they’ve been obsessed with Uncle Roro ever since Lizzie’s birthday.”

“As they should be, my lower back never recovered from being used as a human jungle gym.” He rolled his eyes at the memory yet the love was evident from behind the thinly veiled sarcasm. He was a very particular individual but so were most of your siblings-in-law. And sure, the first time he met your family hadn’t gone as he expected, both in a good way and in a bad way, but your mother still asked him to join him for a glass of whiskey whenever they crossed paths with a welcoming smile and your father always hugged him in greeting like he did all his children. 

“You’re good with them,” You smiled against his lips as you leaned closer for a kiss, leaving a couple of pecks that eventually made him smile too. “you’ve always been good with kids.” 

“Yeah whatever, stop kissing me my breath stinks.” 

The way your brothers had instantly included him in their weird boys' night out, which was ruled by the obnoxiously corny motto ‘what happens in boys' night, stays in boy’s night’ that was used as a smoke screen for that one time they decided to go to the spa to never be taken seriously again once they swallowed their own stupidity, left you grinning for a week straight. And let's not start with the picture you had taken during a summer trip to Nice of all the daughters-in-law posing like they were celebrating their high school prom with Roman at the front of the line, it had been all laughter all throughout; the picture came out a little blurry. 

It’s all you could think about sometimes when you watched him doing nothing interesting in particular with a lovesick intensity only rivaled by his. How well he fits in your life, with the quips and interjections that kept you company and next to you on your shared bed. With both your slippers sitting neatly side by side and with the unmeasurable love pooling at the bottom of his chest that he had finally allowed himself to unabashedly share after who knows how long. 

“Can you pass me your headband? I need to wash my face.”

He insisted yours was better every time you told him he should buy one of his own. Even if he hadn’t tried any other than yours. You only let it pass because he looked cute with his hair pushed back. No other reason at all. 

“So,” you cut yourself by giving him a peck on the lips as he got closer to steal some face wash. He had his own on his side of the bathroom but the bottle was pretty much full and yours still ran out quicker than when it was just you. “Greece or no Greece?”

“I got chills, they’re multiplying.” He joked right before rinsing the soap from his face, chuckling at your lack of amusement. “What? You prefer right now there’s nowhere to hide since you pushed my love aside?”

“I prefer you answer my question.” 

The eyes of a kicked puppy on full display just put him out of his misery vibes, pleaded in silence as he dragged his feet across the floor until he was standing right in between your legs, his face hiding in the crook of your neck. He fit nicely against your body and instinctively you let your fingers brush along the strands of his hair. “It’s okay if you don’t want to go.” 

He groaned in response, his voice muffled against your skin. “It’s not that, I want to, I just— I already RSVP or whatever bullshit to my Dad.”

No one RSVP’ed to Logan Roy. Especially not his children. It wasn’t necessary when the table was already set for all parties involved regardless of conflicting schedules 

“That’s okay,” You kiss his hair, resting your cheek against his head and muffling your own voice. The vibrations made him hum. “I can talk to him.”

The disheveled strands tickled your skin as he shook his head. Now that his chin was resting on your chest you noticed how cartoonishly slow he was blinking, his lids heavy the weight of being awake for far too long. 

“I’ll talk to him.” He pressed a kiss against the side of your jaw, feeling the unmistakable excitement of your grin, before hiding the yawn that followed. “Tomorrow, I promise.

[slut4thebroken]

Exposure Therapy pt. 8

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane × reader

Summary | You make the poor choice of teasing Dr. Crane, so obviously he has to punish you.

Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, breeding, kissing, hickeys, praise, edging, crying (but in a hot way), consensual sex, orgasm denial, cockwarming?, emotions? idk, neither does he tbh, bestie has no idea how to comfort you💀

Words | 3.6k

Notes | Trying really hard to keep his character accurate😓 lmk what y’all think lol

Ao3 link | <3

Fic Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Part 7

Neither of you mentioned his confession again. He seemed to be acting mostly normal and only a little awkward and withdrawn so you tried to remain the same to assure him that nothing changed. You were sitting on the couch, doodling with a spare piece of paper he found as well as an extra pencil, when you broke the silence. 

“Where are you planning on sleeping?” You asked, eyeing the large space that was empty save for a desk, a chair, and a couch. 

“The couch.” He said, not looking up from what he was working on. 

“Where am I supposed to sleep?” You asked, making him sigh and turn his gaze to you. “For now you may sleep on the couch, I doubt I’ll be sleeping much anyway.” 

“Oh. Don’t you have an apartment? A bed?” 

“The cops are going to be looking for everyone that escaped, including myself- especially myself, because I created what caused all of that.” 

“Oh… What if I go? I can bring you back some clothes so you don’t have to stay in that and anything else you need? I doubt I can lift a mattress on my own though.” 

“You want to go to my apartment in the middle of town, wearing that?” He asked, raising his brows. You looked down at your outfit and frowned, just now remembering that you’re wearing it still. 

“People are dumb enough to hang their laundry up outside. I’ll just take something before getting downtown.” You suggested, but back tracked when he was silent for a moment. “I don’t have to, it was just an idea.” 

“What will you do if the police show up?” 

“Um… I’ll tell them you’re my boyfriend and I left something there that I need.” That made him scoff. 

“They won’t believe that.” 

“Fine. Ex boyfriend. Who’s been so busy working that I had to just go there myself.” You shrugged and he narrowed his eyes at you for a moment. 

“Fine. Know that if you get caught, I have no power or leverage anymore to help you.” Honestly you didn’t expect him to agree. You figured he might want to keep you within his sight at all times but that wasn’t the case. Trying not to read into this new found trust, you were going over the plan in your head. 

“Wait, is it even within walking distance?” You realized, worried the whole plan just fell apart. 

“It’s not on this island, so no. And the train is still down because of the bat.” 

“Oh… I can probably walk, it’ll just take me longer I guess.” The sun was rising anyway, so it’ll probably be fine. “Or I’ll ask someone for a ride.” 

“Do not do that.” He said sternly, making you frown. 

“Why not?” 

“Because this is Gotham and you are a young, attractive woman. You will more than likely be kidnapped, raped, or killed.” 

“What am I supposed to do then?” He let out a heavy sigh, and got something out of his desk drawer. When he told you to come to him, you stood, leaving the pencil and paper, and walked over. 

“Give me your hand.” You held your arm out to him and he gently grabbed your hand to put on a very weird shaped bracelet on your wrist. “In case you don’t have time to put the mask on, point it away from your face and hold your breath, then push this.” He pointed to a lever near the heel of your hand and you reached for it, trying to test the motion and get used to it, but he stopped you. 

“Not- now.” He strained, uncurling your fingers. 

“Sorry.” You said sheepishly. 

Then you were leaving, finding clothes that looked about the right size and changing in an alley behind a dumpster. The tricky part was the shoes but they’re subtle enough that they shouldn’t draw very much attention. You found an empty paper bag near the dumpster and put the mask in it then started looking for someone to drive you. You spotted an older woman getting into a car and immediately walked toward her. 

“Excuse me?” You said, making her pause. 

“No change, sorry.” 

“Oh no, I was actually hoping you could give me a ride. I have a job interview downtown and it probably wouldn’t make a good impression to show up all sweaty. But I understand if it’s too much trouble…” 

She only hesitated for a moment before agreeing, telling you to get in the back and asking for the address. You read it off the paper to her and ten minutes later you were pulling up in front of an apartment building. 

“You sure this is it?” 

“It’s for a small business.” You explained, quickly getting out of the car. “Thank you so much.” You dropped the smile as soon as you turned around to walk into the building. “Fuck,” You groaned, “I don’t have a fucking key.” How could you have forgotten that part? You decided to just walk inside, breathing a sigh of relief when you spotted a front desk. 

“Hi, I lost my key and my boyfriend’s out of town and I’m supposed to feed his cat,” 

“What number?” The man asked, bored. 

“178.” He reached back and grabbed a key, handing it to you impatiently. “Thanks...” He wasn’t lying when he said everyone and everything is corrupt or just doesn’t care. 

You made your way to the elevator and pushed 17. As you waited, you went over the list he gave you. Most of the stuff was easy, an extra pair of glasses in his desk drawer, a few pairs of clothes, shoes, a toothbrush as well as the extra one under the sink for yourself, etc. But you were mostly worried about the safe and the papers he wanted. What if you can’t open it? What if you grab the wrong ones?

The elevator opening with a ding removed you from your thoughts and you made your way to his door. You worked quickly, not wanting to increase your chances of getting caught, but you took the time to fold his suits, worried he’d be upset if you just threw them in his duffel bag. You opened the safe on the second try, putting the money that was in there in the duffel bag. 

Then you made your way to the desk. Even though the rest of the place was completely tidy, the desk was covered in different papers. He said they would be on top, not in a drawer, so you grabbed everything just to be safe. 

Before leaving, you went through his dresser, praying he wouldn’t be pissed, and got some shirts and sweatpants for yourself, as well as a hoodie and socks. 

The ride back was much easier since you had money to take a cab, but you still had to walk a few minutes, not wanting to be dropped off right in front of his “hideout” just in case. 

“No trouble?” He asked, barely glancing up from what he was writing. 

“Well I realized I forgot to ask about a key- speaking of which, you should probably move because the guy at the front desk just gave it to me.” The corners of his lips turned up and your cheeks went red, still not used to it. 

“Good job.” You stared at him in shock, feeling your cheeks heat up even more, but you tried to play it off. 

“Did you just compliment me?” You scoffed teasingly. 

“Don’t get used to it. Did you bring the papers I asked for?” 

“Oh- yeah.” You set the duffel bag on the desk and he opened it to inspect the contents. “I- I hope it’s okay, I brought just a few shirts and pants for myself too.” You said nervously. When he didn’t respond, you figured that meant it was okay. He started looking through the papers, then turned to you with raised brows. “I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bring the wrong thing so I just took all of it.”

“Thank you.” He said, making your eyes widen. 

“Mhm.” Was all you could say in response. “Oh- here.” You said, suddenly remembering the wristband and taking it off to give it back. 

“Keep it.”

“What?” You choked out. “You- you’re not worried I’ll use it on you or something?” You asked, staring at him with furrowed brows. 

“Of course not.” He scoffed, then set the papers down and took out a suit and the shoes as you just waited awkwardly, not sure what to do. “Are you just going to watch?” He was teasing you, but there was still an edge to his voice. 

“N- no, sorry.” You blushed, turning around and staring at the ground, listening to the sound of clothes rustling behind you and thinking about how you’ve only ever seen his face, neck, hands, and cock- nothing else. The thought made you frown. “Unless it’s okay… then I’d like to watch.” You said quietly and the rustling stopped. 

“Why?” His tone was guarded. 

“I just- I haven’t seen you yet and you’ve seen all of me.” You explained meekly. “Nevermind, sorry.” You waited anxiously as you heard no movement from the man behind you. 

“Go ahead.” He said in a measured tone. You tentatively turned around, finding him in just a pair of dress pants, straight jacket on the floor and shirt in hand. The first thing you noticed was how lean he looks without his suit. The second were the small scars littering his torso. The third was his happy trail, leading down into his pants, teasing you. 

“Satisfied?” You looked up at him when you heard his voice, not able to read his expression. When all you could do was nod, his lips curled up into a small smirk. “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll fuck you stupid over the desk.” He warned, voice laced with arousal. 

“Is that a promise, doctor?” You purred, stepping closer to him, setting the wristband on the desk to have both hands free. He stiffened, but allowed you to move until you were right in front of him. Staring deep into icy blue eyes, you slowly raised your hands, as if you were approaching a wild animal who could attack at any second. His eyes moved to your hands, watching, but he didn’t say anything. So you slowly moved them closer until you could almost feel the heat from his body against your palms. His eyes moved back to yours and you searched them for a deterrent. When you found nothing, you placed your hands on his chest, sliding them down his stomach, making sure not to linger on any scars. You reached his pants and brushed over the button teasingly before snaking them back up his body. 

“You’re playing with fire.” He said lowly. Your hands reached his shoulders and you trailed them down his arms. Once you reached his hands, you grabbed the shirt and set it on the desk, then took both of his hands in yours, moving them around your waist. 

“On the contrary, Dr. Crane. I’m getting exactly what I want.” You placed your hands on his stomach again to snake around to his back. 

“Oh? And what’s that?” He said coyly, playing along. 

“You can let me keep teasing you to my heart's content or you can punish me. Either way I win.” You smirked, moving your hands down his back to his pants and following the waist line around his body until they met at the button. 

“You think you’ll enjoy however I choose to punish you?” He scoffed. 

“You said it yourself, doctor. You don’t want to hurt me. So I’m sure I can take it.” His hands moved to your hips, gripping tight enough to make you wince as he pushed you against the desk. 

“Foolish girl. You underestimate my desire to watch you crying and begging for my forgiveness. I have no problem torturing you, in fact, I’ll enjoy it.” You faltered at that. “Does that frighten you?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“You don’t scare me anymore.” You said quietly, feeling the arousal in your stomach quickly make its way between your legs. 

“That’s not what I asked.” He teased and you swallowed thickly, squirming under his gaze. 

“No.” You tried to keep your voice steady. 

“Maybe not yet. But I’m sure it will soon.” He reached a hand up to wrap around your neck, squeezing and pulling you forward as your breath hitched. “I don’t have to hurt you to torture you. You should know that by now.” He said quietly, gaze straying to your lips. 

“I can take it.” You said, equally as quiet, not even believing the words as they left your mouth. 

“You think so?” He cooed and you nodded in response. “I guess we’ll find out then.” He took a step back and you whined at the loss of his touch, reaching out for him. “Pick it up.” He said, gesturing to the straight jacket. Your eyes moved anxiously between him and the garment, hesitating. “This is the only warning I’m giving you— You don’t want me to tell you again.” You leaned down and picked up the straight jacket, then waited for his next command. 

“Put it on.” 

“Dr. Crane,” You whined, but he raised his brows, making you close your mouth and reluctantly slide it on. He stepped closer again then started buckling the restraints. 

“You seem to think that pain is the only form of punishment I’ll inflict. I guess given my history I shouldn’t be surprised but you need to get that idea out of your head right now or things will only get worse for you.” You stared at him with wide eyes but his gaze remained on the task of restraining you. “There are plenty of ways I can punish you.” He said clinically, like a doctor explaining something to a patient. “Like denial, for example. Not just orgasm denial… You can’t touch me either.”  

“Please- I’m sorry.” You whined, giving him puppy dog eyes that did not work at all. 

“I bet you are. I bet you’ll say whatever it is you think I want to hear right now. Unfortunately, the only sounds I want from you are moans and cries.” He led you over to the couch and kneeled in front of you to pull down your pants and underwear before having you sit. He discarded your shoes so he could fully remove your clothes, then pulled you forward to the edge of the couch and spread your legs embarrassingly wide. 

“I think you also underestimate my patience. I am more than willing to do this as long as it takes.” He started dragging his hands up and down your thighs, teasing you, never getting close to where you wanted him.   

“Please.” You whined as your hips started squirming. 

“Come now… We haven’t even started and you’re already begging? At least save that until the actual torture begins.” 

“Don’t want torture.” You muttered. 

“No? I thought you said this would be a win for you? That you can take it.”

“Please.” You whined, much brattier this time— all but throwing a fit.  

“There’s that attitude.” He chuckled. “Keep that up. It makes it more fun for me when you break.” His hands snaked up your thighs, then back down, teasing you. You whined and squirmed, but surprisingly, it worked. He moved a hand between your legs, swiftly pushing in two fingers and rapidly curling them against your walls. You let out a choked moan from the sudden pleasure as your head rolled back onto the couch and your hips bucked. He pulled you even farther down the couch, then leaned down and took your clit in his mouth. 

“Oh fuck,” You said through a moan, hips flinching as he groaned against you in response. Lifting your head to look down at him, you found his eyes already on you, making you blush and squirm under his gaze. After getting so turned on and not coming when you sucked him off before, your orgasm approached quickly. The volume of your moans increased as you started trying to rut against his face. He suddenly pulled back, his fingers halting, making you whine. 

“Please, I was so close.” You pouted. 

“I know.” He leaned back down, resuming the motions of his fingers as he started working your clit over in his mouth again. Your breathing grew heavier as you felt yourself nearing the edge again, but you let out a choked sob when he stopped. 

“Please!” You cried. 

“Shh. Be a good girl and take your punishment.” He muttered before leaning back down and continuing. You weren’t sure how many times you were on the cusp of pleasure before it was ripped away from you, but you knew it was at least five— after that you weren’t able to concentrate on counting through your crying and desperation. He pulled back but continued moving his fingers as you babbled out incoherent pleas. 

“I have to admit, my patience is wearing thin so I’ll only keep this up for a little longer.” You sobbed in relief at his words. “Once I’m ready to come, I’m gonna fuck your ass. Remember how much you liked it before? It won’t be nearly as pleasurable this time and you certainly won’t be able to come from it.” 

“No- no, please.” You said, panicked. The thought of being empty was enough to intensify your crying. “Please- I don’t care if I don’t come, just please fuck me.” You whimpered. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” He said softly, but you just shook your head. 

“No, I- I need your cock- please!” 

“How do I know you won’t come?” He asked, slowing his fingers to a stop before removing them, making you whimper at the emptiness. 

“I won’t! Please- I promise I won’t!” He watched you cry for a moment before cursing under his breath and working on taking his cock out of his pants. 

“Can’t fucking say no to you.” He muttered, helping you to lay down on the couch as he crawled over you. The second he pushed in, you let out a relieved sob that turned into a whine when you tried to move your arms. 

“Please- I want to touch you. Please let me touch you.” You whimpered, watching the way his brows furrowed as his mouth opened in a silent moan when he was all the way in. 

“I can’t, you still need to be punished.” He said breathlessly and you sobbed the hardest you have all night so far.  

“Please! Please- I’m sorry!” You cried and he shushed you as he brought a hand up to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. 

“I know, it’s okay.” He cupped your cheek and leaned down to kiss you as he slowly started moving. Trailing kisses up your jaw to your ear, he whispered, “You’re doing so well, little one. Making me feel so good.” You sobbed harder at the pet name— not used to such affection from him. 

“Oh god,” You moaned, already feeling close again. When he picked up the pace and began kissing and marking your neck, you started panting again. You tried to at least tone down your sobbing a little bit, but after you started, it was really hard to stop. 

“Fuck- I’m already close.” He whined, rutting into you desperately now. His hands never left your body as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, letting out quiet moans and shaky breaths. When he stilled with a low groan, your cunt ached at the way his cock was twitching inside you, painting your walls with his come. After a moment, his moans stopped and he was panting heavily into your shoulder. When he started pulling out, you sobbing intensified. 

“No! Please- please don’t- not yet.” You whimpered. 

“I need to get this off of you.” He said, lifting his head from your neck to look at the straight jacket. 

“I don’t care- just please don’t leave yet.” You cried. 

“Okay- It’s okay. Sit up like this.” He maneuvered you so that he was sitting on the couch and you were straddling his hips, his cock never leaving you. He started working on the straight jacket, unbuckling all of it until he could slip it off if you and toss it on the floor. Now that your hands were free, you realized that you couldn’t even do anything with them, not without making him uncomfortable. So you continued crying. 

“Okay, just- come here.” He muttered, pulling you down to lay on his chest. Your hands gripped his shoulders tight as you turned your cheek, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the warmth of his skin. His hands fumbled around for a moment before eventually settling on your hips and you knew that he was probably miserable right now. Honestly you’re surprised he didn’t just throw you off of him instead. 

“I’m sorry- I…” He shushed you, not letting you continue babbling out apologies. 

“Just breathe.” He said softly and you couldn’t help but obey. You let out a slow shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. “That’s it. Just focus on breathing. You did so well for me, I’m very proud.” You let out another quiet sob at the praise and shushed you again as he moved a hand up to your hair, lightly stroking it to soothe you. 

“You’re okay.” He said softly. “Just breathe— you’re okay.”

Part 9

(For the sake of the plot, bestie is no longer taking oral contraceptives because he had her get an iud or something back in Arkham lol)

[zot3-flopped]

The thing is, I always used to defend taylor from slut shaming bc ofc that’s gross and yes, especially when she was in her younger 20’s, it was very much like every other 20 year old in college or something - someone asks you out, you go on a few dates, you don’t see it going anywhere, you stop and try again, and then that would make it SEEM like she had a million more “boyfriends” than she actually did. Sure, that’s fair enough. but her behavior after Joe is what really opened my eyes — she CANNOT be single. She can’t handle it. She’s desperate unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I mean, to end a nearly seven year relationship with someone who she was publicly proclaiming she wanted to marry and have kids with 3 years in and immediately date someone else a month later is kind of insane. I can’t even wrap my head around how someone even feels doing that. Then sure, you have ppl saying it’s a “rebound, distraction” and that “everyone does it and goes a little crazy after the person you thought you’d marry” … maybe at like, age 25? but 33 and that public of a figure??? Then turns out this wasn’t just a rebound for her but someone she secretly pined over for ten years that now she thought she would once again marry — but then after that ends she goes out with someone else a month or two later? How??? If you just lost two “loves of your life” back to back, including someone you wished you’d have a second chance with for a decade??? she was so proud of herself for being single for a MONTH that she posted that “happy Independence Day from your local independent neighborhood girlies” LOL just for it to become a meme because she immediately dated someone else 💀 the funny thing about that is under that caption she wrote “see you soon Kansas City” (the show she was playing, and where Travis saw her) and instead of taking that as a sign of just how fast she’ll move onto the next, people see it as “invisible string theory.” It’s getting tired, how is she not

She needs to go to therapy and work out why life without a man is such a terrifying prospect for her.

[wings-of-ink]

Unto more wilder asks (not that kind 😩🙏🏻)

What if some kind of hocus pocus magic happens and the RO's see a glimpse into parallel universe and they see MC. They thought that MC would have a different fate but really, MC is still sick with some kind of incurable disease (Yeah! Too much fluff going on in the ask, I choose chaos and angst 😤)

Can I just say I love how you answer asks because you take time to craft this cute little scenarios for us to enjoy. It's like a reward for us readers 😌✨

Thank you so much for saying that. I'm glad you are liking the Asks. When I have the time, I really do like putting my mind in them as much as possible for each character. Downside is that it may take a bit of time if I have trouble. Some of them come to me easily and others I have to chew on for a while, but I truly do enjoy them - maybe too much at times!

Guess I'll have to take my fluffy mittens off for this one.

Oswin:  This isn't fair. It's not fair that his MC had to suffer already, but is this really their lot in every life? He can't help but feel that pull between them even though this isn't his MC. It feels like them, like an extension of their soul. Tears gather in his eyes as a sob bubbles up from his throat.

Zahn:  An uncharacteristic bitterness charges through them. As if MC's suffering wasn't enough already. Does that mean there is another Zahn out there too? Will they find each other? This blasted curse was the only reason they met. At least something beautiful came from it, but Zahn would change it all if it meant MC never suffered.

Duri:  Figures. It's always the best people that get the shittiest hand. How many times have they watched that play out and how many times will they be subjected to it again? They can't keep watching this.

Rune:  This isn't their MC…it isn't. They need to stop looking at this and ignore it. MC is fine, their MC is fine now. Stop looking. They bite their lip until they taste blood. Is all of creation really this cruel?

???:  A familiar disgust settles on his heart as he watches. Is nowhere safe for them? Does this mean there is a version of himself in this world too? Are they just as pathetic? Will this version of himself at least help, or will they… He needs to see MC - now. He needs to be sure that they're okay.

Thank you for the ask! I hope these are sad enough to counteract your fluff allergy, lol. ^_^

Just a side note that part of these were written while listening to "What does the Fox Say," and I think I may need to talk about that in therapy to someone, lol.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 155 thoughts

Thanks for your patience! I had some stuff crop up IRL this week that kept getting in the way of my chapter review but we're so oshi no back

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 12

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White

i can't believe toxic yuri was the real core theme of this manga all along

With the long road to revenge seemingly conquered, Oshi no Ko eases us into a bit of a false high before the real finale comes barrelling in. As with 152, it feels like we're tying off a number of arcs that have lasted through the series, with certain characters getting what is clearly supposed to be their big emotional resolutions… and unfortunately, as with 153-4, while a lot of these beats are satisfying on paper, they suffer a lack of buildup that makes them ring a bit hollow. OnK's clumsy handling of certain characters during the Movie Arc has really come back to bite it during the finale, leaving me feeling like a lot of the emotional payoffs for them are undercut and the character work they're doing doesn't have the groundwork it needs to properly resonate. I defo didn't hate this chapter like some folks seemed to, but it has some pretty substantial issues in terms of micro and macro storytelling I am compelled to talk about. This is one of those chapter reviews I think comes across way more negative than it necessarily is lol but man did this one give me a headache…

To start things off, the thing that initially delayed this review: page fucking one!!! By total coincidence, this was the first chapter in basically forever where I didn't get a chance to look at the JP raws until like two days after it dropped and as such I was ripping my hair out trying to figure out who the narrator was on page one - the use of 'Mama' made me wonder if it was Ruby, but the visual flow of the page is much more biased in favor of Aqua and I probably don't need to tell you how fucking huge it would be for Aqua to have called Ai that for the first time!!! However, based on the speech patterns of the speaker in Japanese and the way subsequent pages flow from this intro, I'm pretty settled on it being Ruby - this chapter is a sort of closing of the book on her involvement in the revenge play or as my friend Mala put it, it's Ruby's homecoming so to speak. And like… honestly, thank god lol.

I get a lot of Ruby fans have wanted her to be more involved in this side of the story for a good while but I think the Black Hoshigan Ruby arc playing out like it did made it pretty clear that Ruby as a character is not super well suited to playing a role in the revenge half of OnK in the way that Akasaka wants it to be written. Not just that, but her actual post-BH characterization in relation to this arc has been such a wet fart that I really think it has taken away a lot more than it has added to her arc.

Not only that but… most of it didn't even happen onscreen lol! Not only did we get that absolutely baffling speech in 147 where she literally looked into the camera and Explained With Her Words the character arc she was supposedly having this whole time (just offscreen and nowhere the reader could see) but we now get Aqua going "well ruby decided to forgive him so it is what it is i guess". It feels so limp as a reason for him to have flipped on a dime like he did, especially when we still haven't fucking seen this supposedly lifechanging performance of Ruby's!!!! SO many characters have the resolutions to their Ai-adjacent arcs connected to how Ruby chose to play Ai in the movie but we're not actually seeing it. We're just sort of talking around it and having it exposited to us. I want to assume this is setup for us eventually seeing it ourselves but like… at this point, IS there any point to us revisiting the movie's content? Everything we might have learned from it has already been addressed by characters Telling Us To Our Faces How It Made Them Feel And Gave Them Therapy so it would ultimately be superfluous.

God. I hate still bitching about the Movie Arc now we're out of it, but it really is the albatross around the neck of this finale. So many of the issues littered through these last ten or so chapters are the result of the Movie Arc's fumbling and misuse of the cast and its failure to establish the emotional throughlines that should have been tied off by these chapters. I keep feeling like I'm repeating myself when I talk about XYZ Narrative Beat not being bad on paper but being less effective than it should do because of lacking underlying foundation but it really is the one central thing plaguing this arc right now.

i get what you guys are going for but. seeing aqua just let kamiki walk away when he has definitely killed people is really funny.

The twins' return to Miyako is another moment that I like in theory but honestly just feels frustrating. It's been over 25 chapters - a week short of an entire year since 125 came out where Miyako lamented her inability to reach the twins like a 'real' mother would and this thread was immediately dropped like a rock. She had zero involvement in the Movie Arc even during parts it was straight up absurd that she was not at least reacting to the events going on, didn't have any reaction to the movie or like… anything going on that could have more organically lead to this development.

I also have to say. The twins returning to Miyako performing this Snapshot of Aesthetic Motherhood (as u/DeliSoupItExplodes on the OnK sub put it) felt kind of. Weird and even a little icky to me in a way I've been struggling to articulate. Just that it felt extremely on the nose and kind of. eeeh.

that said. i won't pretend i'm not 4x critically weak to an 'okaeri' / 'tadaima' exchange at the end of a long quest or journey…

For all my complaints about the surrounding context, this scene in isolation is pretty much the one part of this chapter that just uncritically works. It's hard not to read it as a parallel to Miyako offering to adopt the kids in chapter 10 - except there, Aqua refuses to step into his new family. Here, Miyako pulls him into the embrace and the two of them finally engage not as peers but as a mother and son, as they've needed to do all this time. Her words here are so lovely and so, so sincere that it's really no wonder Aqua breaks down in tears. As much as I've bitched about the lacking work in his arc across the last major chunk of chapters, it's nevertheless been incredibly cathartic to see Aqua finally start letting down his walls, believing in his future and letting people love him. I just wish it had the buildup to really land.

also the twins just… still have not had a real conversation or interaction about literally anything lol.

Ichigo's back…! I already aired my major complaint about this scene vis-a-vis Ruby but I imagine this is the last time we're going to get a real Moment with Ichigo so I might as well get this off my chest now: it was and continues to be utterly bonkers to me that of the characters we saw having Feelings about the 15 Year Lie cast screening, Ichigo was not one of them. And it's even more bonkers that we got this whole bit waxing poetic about fucking Kaburagi and how he feels soooo bad about Ai when like… I'm sorry, but Kaburagi's feelings about Ai are so low on my list of priorities as to be functionally irrelevant. Quite frankly, he does not matter and it's INSANE that the story gave this misty-eyed moment to him and not Ichigo - you know, the agent of the industry that went on to exploit and kill her, her literal, actual dad whose guilt over what happened to her made him ghost his family for nearly twenty years? Can you imagine what an insanely powerful moment of resolution it would've been for that moment of Kaburagi addressing Ai through the 15YL poster to have gone to Ichigo instead?

I also have to note this weird ongoing thread of 'the Dome' being framed as Ai's dream that Ruby is inheriting when it, uh, patently was not! I'm sure she felt some pride in her success but all she herself said on the matter back when it came up was that she didn't get what a big deal it was but that since everyone else was happy, she'd be happy too. I initially took this to be laying the groundwork to disprove this idea and make the characters work out what Ai really wanted in her heart of hearts but now the narrative seems to just be uncritically treating this as a value neutral fact. So… who even knows lol.

Short hair Akane returns…! I don't imagine it was planned, but it's a cute coincidence that she cut her hair in the manga right around the time anime Akane grew hers out for season 2. I've always liked short hair Akane best so this was a nice surprise…

I have to say it was uh, really funny to see so many people get so shocked and mad when Akane talked about 'imitating Hoshino Ai' and screaming that this was a retcon or ruining Akane's character when like… was this really news to you guys??? Even before she grew her hair out, she flipped her bangs to go in the same direction as Ai's as soon as she started acting as her and she was popping hoshigans all over the place when she was getting her career off the ground… like, seriously, was this really a shock to people???

Anyway uh. Vindication for me from this scene!!! I've been pointing out for over a year now that we should be very cautious about taking it at face value that Hikaru killed Gorou and Yura because the story has been very delicately implying that to be the case while avoiding confirming it outright in a way that reeked of a red herring to me. That combined with his failure to even mention these two victims while 'fessing up to Aqua really raised some additional red flags for me and finally, we see Aqua confirming that no, Hikaru was not the one person behind everything, Light Yagami style and the final boss of the series seems set to be B-Komachi's former Queen of Smiles. Fuyuko Niino.

And Iiiiiiiii… feel very uneasy about this twist!

First of all; I have to acknowledge that nope, we have no fuckin clue how either Aqua or Akane figured this out but we'll probably get the exposition in that regard over and done with next chapter. Also something a lot of people caught is that Ryosuke is referred to with a different name here - Sugano vs Kaihara, which was used during the Movie Arc. I've heard this called out as a mistake/retcon and it could be, but tbh I'm inclined to think it's just that Ryosuke's name was changed for the movie, since a point is made about needing everyone's permission to include them in the movie and they, uh… can't exactly ask Ryosuke!

But… back to the real point here.

Nino has been one of my favourite OnK characters since I first read 45510 and every subsequent expansion on her character and her relationship with Ai has only made me more invested in her. But the story setting her up as the final villain here is… it leaves me feeling a little cold and very uncertain about how it'll go.

First off, the framing of Nino on these last two pages is just so overwrought that it's a little ridiculous lol. The image of her squatting in her filthy room, listening to old B-Komachi tracks and staring at a poster of the old group with all the other members but her and Ai aggressively scribbled out… it feels downright parodic to an extent that I think honestly makes Nino that much less nuanced and human by its inclusion alone.

Like… a big part of what I loved about Nino's inclusion in the story and how her relationship with Ai was framed was that it was messy and honest in a way that felt like it wasn't judging Nino herself or making her out to be a villain. Her and Ai's relationship breakdown was a two-sided failure of communication spurred on in large part by Ai's own avoidance and inability to have frank, sincere discussions with the people who cared about her. Nino's tangled up feelings of admiration and desire, envy and resentment, love and hate were not flattering but they felt so real and so human. She was a young girl put into an impossible situation and without the power to change the invisible dynamics of the systems around her, she lashed out at the person in front of her that she could see. The impression I always got was that part of what so deeply fucked up her feelings about Ai was her lack of closure - that she had never gotten to say sorry or patch things up. That she had screamed I wish you'd die at someone she loved and then she fucking died. No wonder she was a mess.

All this though… maybe I'm overreacting when we're just a page and a half into this reveal but again, the framing here really does feel so exaggerated and shallow. It feels like it's falling into the trap OnK previously fell into with the GRSR relationship where it attempts to amp up the drama by massively overexagerrating the emotions at play, blowing them up to their hugest possible extreme and letting all nuance and subtlety get lost in the noise. Ultimately, this will all come down to execution and while it's possible for AkaMengo to get us back on track with the Nino I already liked… idk. Like I said. I'm uneasy.

I also can't let it go unsaid - accidentally or otherwise, the framing of Nino here leans extremely hard into the stereotype of the 'psycho'/predatory lesbian and I don't think I need to explain why that sucks donkey nuts, especially in the midst of a manga that is so insufferably hetero at all other times.

at least she has good taste in b-komachi tracks.

[vampwritesstuff]

Tricky Feelings

I’ve been on a Leo kick lately, so have a fun lil self indulgent oneshot I made for him lol. If y’all end up liking this, then check out my multi-fandom masterlist which is pinned on my blog! Also- I totally didn’t hide a song reference in here at some point 😅 giving y’all a mini challenge to find it lmao

Type: Oneshot

Pairing: Leonardo x Reader

TMNT Version: 2012, because it’s lowkey my fav version lol

Requested?: Not a request

CW: angst to fluff, comfort, mentions of body shaming (body type is unspecified), AFAB reader, brief mention of blood and being cut by a Shuriken on the cheek, playful teasing from Raph, Mikey and Donnie.

Word Count: 2.4k

You were sitting in the lair, curled up into yourself as Master Splinter comforted you. “I’m so stupid, Master Splinter.. why did I even think that he would actually like me?” You sobbed into the shoulder of the only father figure you’ve ever had. “Y/n, boys are.. dumb. That boy couldn’t see how amazing you are, and therefore, has missed out on such an incredible girl.” Splinter told you, patting your shoulder.

You and April had known the turtles and their master for months. Both you and April were training to be kunoichi under Splinter’s guidance, but you seemed to be more in tune with it than your best friend was.

Originally, you had come down here to take out some frustration by sparring with Raphael, however, he and the other boys were out on a mission when you arrived. So you settled for a therapy session with Splinter, to make up for it. You sniffed and wiped away the tears from your eyes, “Thanks, Master Splinter, I really needed that.” He gave a nod, “If you’d like, we can train to take your mind off of it.” He suggested, and you snorted but gave a nod, you could use the distraction from your emotions. Of course, Splinter wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to train you.

When the four turtles returned, they found you and Splinter in the dojo, training. They watched with impressed expressions as you focused on dodging the Shuriken that Splinter was aiming at you, per your request that he train you on evading and expecting attacks. He had a feeling that it had to do with what had happened prior to you visiting the lair, but you hadn’t told him what exactly had happened.

Once Splinter had run out of Shuriken to throw, he ended the session, also having noticed his sons’ return home. You nodded and both bowed to each other. “Dude! That was awesome!” Mikey shouted finally as he bounded over to you, making movements and sounds that mimicked what you had been doing. “Oh! Dude, Y/n, your cheek is bleeding.” He said casually, and everyone turned their heads to you, even Splinter was surprised to see that Mikey was right. “Oh, guess I didn’t notice..” you hummed, wiping away the blood but your cheek continued to bleed.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I did not realize that I actually hurt you.” Splinter spoke as he walked to you with Raph, Leo and Donnie following behind him. They must’ve been telling him how the mission went. “It’s okay, Master Splinter, it happens. Besides, I hardly feel it.” You hummed, but Donnie was already leading you off to his lab so he could patch up your cheek. Once you were out of sight, Leo turned to his dad.

“So what was Y/n doing here, anyways?” The leader in blue asked, Splinter shrugged, “That is not for me to tell, my son.” And with that, Splinter disappeared into his room. Leo gave an exasperated sigh but decided to check on you and Donnie.

However, he stopped when he saw that Raph and Mikey were standing outside the door, seemingly listening in on the conversation going on. Before he could ask, Raph turned and shushed Leo, grabbing him and telling him to just listen.

“That guy doesn’t deserve your time of day, Y/n, you shouldn’t worry about him.” Came Donnie’s voice, “But, I liked him Donnie, and I really thought he liked me back.” Your response was muffled, almost as if you had your face buried in your hands, trying to keep the tears from flowing again, Leo felt his heart drop at the mention of a guy. “So you’re gonna let one bad date with a guy affect your view on dating?” Donnie’s voice questioned again.

Inside the lab, you were sat on the table as Donnie disinfected the cut. “No, well.. maybe, I dunno.” You sighed, “Donnie, you weren’t there… he made fun of my body, said extremely mean things and even threw his drink on me.. how do I not let that affect me?” You questioned, only looking up to see a stunned Donnie and three other very angry looking turtle brothers, even Mikey looked pissed. “Uh, how much did you three hear of that?” You asked, nervously clearing your throat.

“Enough.” Raph said as he stomped up to you, you shrunk back as you thought he was gonna blow up on you. Instead though, you felt him pull you into a tight hug, and eventually three other pairs of arms joined his. “Y/n. You’re worth so much more than that guy can see.” Came Leo’s voice, you teared up again. “I swear, when I find that guy I’m gonna shove my foot so far up his-“ you smacked Raph on the head, “No you will not. But, you guys are right, I’ve got all I need right here.”

Eventually you all separated from the hug and had found yourselves watching Space Heroes in the living area of the lair, you were sat next to Leo.

If Leo was being truthful, his heart was pounding at the feeling of you being so close, his heart had squeezed painfully when he’d heard you had gone on a date with another human guy. In all honesty, Leo had a huge crush on you, and his brothers knew it. Raph looked behind him at the two of you and gave his brother a ‘Get em, tiger’ kind of wink, but Leo just shook his head at Raphael. Of all his brothers, Raph was the one who gave Leo the most shit about trying to use Karai as a distraction from his feelings for you. Leo felt bad for being kind of relieved that your date didn’t go well, of course he was angry that you were told those things by that guy, but maybe it was a chance he could use to prove that he was a good choice for you.

Leo heard you yawn next to him, and without thinking he pulled you against him and laid your head on his shoulder. He felt you stiffen for a split second before you relaxed into him and began to fall asleep. Leo looked down at you and his gaze softened at the sight of you with your eyes closed and your head laying on him, your arms wrapped around him in a hug. He was distracted though by the sounds of Raph and Mikey giggling.

He looked at his two brothers and was horrified to see that they were mocking him and you, Raph pretending to be you while Mikey acted as Leo. Then they started making kissy noises, and that’s when Donnie lost it and began to laugh loudly. Rolling his eyes, Leo stood with you in his arms, carefully to not wake you up, however you were already awake and had witnessed his brother’s teasing. In the heat of the moment, you turned Leo’s face to look at you and gave him a quick peck to the lips, laughing at his expression when you pulled away.

You laughed even harder, however, at the reaction of his brothers, they were gagging and freaking out. “OH MY GOD, LEO’S GOT COOTIES!!” Was all you heard from Mikey as Leo took you back to his room, now he definitely needed to know how you truly felt about him.

You let out a small ‘oof’ as Leonardo unceremoniously dropped you onto his mattress, “Hey, what was that for?” You asked sitting up, only to see a flustered and fidgety Leo. This was not something you saw often and you really only remembered him acting this way with Karai when she first came around. “Leo?” You asked cautiously, as if you were attempting to get a stray to eat from your hand.

“Please tell me you meant that.” Was all he said, confusing you. “Meant what, Leo?” You questioned, and you could see him visibly upset. “That kiss. Please.. just tell me that meant something to you, like it did to me.” Leo’s gaze was pointed at the ground, he didn’t want to look up at you and see the pity in your eyes as you rejected him. Your eyes widened.

Truth be told, you had the biggest crush on Leo, like almost as big as Donnie’s crush on April. But when Leo had began to have his little, very obvious, boy crush on Karai you started pushing those feelings way down because you knew you would never be as cool as her. Trying to ignore the squeeze in your chest each time you heard Leo talk about her didn’t help, so you actively began seeking out an old crush from school in the hopes that you could move on and look where that landed you. Then you found out that Karai was his sister, and that changed everything, but things didn’t go back to how they were. You knew that there would be no way that Leo liked you, you were just some random human girl that was saved by them.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as you heard a choked back sob come from the terrapin in front of you. “L- Leo… I,” he stopped you before you could continue. “No, I get it, you were just teasing my brothers…” He mumbled, wiping his tears and attempting to appear unbothered. “That’s not it all, Leonardo!” You snapped, quickly covering your mouth as you and Leo both looked at each other in shock. You hadn’t used his full name since you guys had first met. “What?” Was all he said.

“I didn’t just do that to tease your brothers, or you.” You could feel the word vomit coming up your throat, but you were powerless to stop it and in the moment, you needed to get all of it off your chest. “I like you! I have for over two months now, and I didn’t think you would ever like me back so I started ignoring it and pushing it away, thinking that if I didn’t acknowledge my feelings then they would go away. But then Karai showed up, and all you could do was talk about her and how cool she is and I realized that there was no way you’d ever like me because I could never be like her and-“ Leo cut you off by grabbing your face and pressing his forehead to yours, staring you in the eyes.

You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, you never could. “I like you too, a lot, and when I heard you had gone on that date, I thought I had lost my chance. But, I’m taking it now because I know that you feel the same way.” He had said something else but it fell on deaf ears as you were now hyper-focused on how close he was to you, there were just inches between you both.

Leo felt a shiver run down his body as you whispered his name and moved closer, both of your minds were clouded. Leo couldn’t describe what it felt like when he finally closed the distance and kissed you. He swore that it was probably the most amazing feeling in the world, it was nothing like he had imagined before. His hands rested on either side of you, one of his knees propped against the bed while his other foot was planted on the floor, giving him stability. He didn’t really know what to do with his hands.

You were in a similar situation, eventually your hands had found their way around his neck and were twirling the tails of his blue bandanna around them. You had expected his lips to be rough in texture, and while they kind of were, they weren’t nearly as scale like as you anticipated.

The kiss was hesitant, neither of you fully committing until either of you fully relaxed into the kiss. But once you both had relaxed, your movements became more fluid and Leo moved his hands to your hips. The kiss only lasted for a few moments, but to the both of you it felt like minutes as you pulled away to take deep breaths of air.

Neither of you returned for a second kiss, but instead you kept your foreheads together. Leo found comfort in listening to the soft inhales you took to catch your breath. There was so much Leo wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the words to express how he felt.

“Thank you.” He blurted without thinking, what an odd thing to say after your first kiss with a girl, and Leo was mentally cursing himself for that. “For what?” You asked with a chuckle that made Leo blush, “Well, uh for everything? For not pushing us away, for keeping our secret, and just.. everything thing you’ve done for me and my family. It means so much, especially to me.” You felt your heart swell with happiness, you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face.

“You guys saved my life, it’s the least I could do.” You told him with a soft voice. Leo moved to sit beside you, and this time he was the one who laid his head on your shoulder. “Will you be my girlfriend?” Leo asked, he was still nervous to ask despite knowing that you would most likely say yes. “Of course, I’d love to be your girlfriend.” Was your answer, and it made Leo’s heart soar with happiness.

He snaked his arms around your waist and easily pulled you into a laying position. You definitely were not used to Leo being this touchy or clingy, however, it was definitely nice to be cuddled up and held close to him. Leo supposed this was what it meant to be touch starved, because oh boy was he now addicted to the fluttery feeling in his stomach that he got each time you gave him a reassuring squeeze.

You lightly traced the scutes of his shell while your head was resting against his plastron. The feeling made Leo’s eyes droop and he began to fall asleep. Thankfully, it was a weekend and you wouldn’t have school in the morning, which meant spending the night at the lair would be okay.

Oh boy, Leo is going to kill his brothers when he finds out that they got hundreds of photos of the both of you sleeping together, cuddled up.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hiiiiii just wanted to put in a request of Trevor Spangler x reader angst where reader is trapped with a hostile ghost, just in the mood for some angst 🤭

ooooo okay okay I see the vision ; thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy! I need gbfe to release on digital bc I'm in desperate need to get new banners/headers. sigh ; post writing robin here, I missed the whole angst bit somehow bc idek how to write good angst so I apologize

TREVOR SPENGLER ; hostile ghost exposure therapy

summary ; youre a scientist in the making working with the ghostbusters squad and expose hostile ghosts and ghouls to human kind. sometimes it can be rough, though

warnings ; language, choking, weird ghost shit

disclaimers ; ik ghostbusters usually focuses on the ghouley types of ghosts but standard ghosts were the idea for this lol. I've been watching The Boys explore haunted places all day so what can I say

word count ; 783

masterlist

Proton barriers this, ghost containment that. Whatever Lars was speaking about didn't matter to you at this moment. What did matter was trying to help this new, very hostile, ghost adjust to being in the presence of a human.

The barrier quickly slips down, then right back up once you step inside the room. Glass surrounds the exterior, then Lars steps away, leaving you to do your thing. Lucky waves a few feet away, wishing you a silent good luck before getting back to work.

Trevor and Phoebe talk about with Lucky, Lars, and Podcast, testing out one of the newer machines in the lab. You face the approximate direction of the ghost, not exactly able to see it without its permission.

You carefully sit down in a chair across from the one left empty from it, bathing in the silence before speaking.

"My name's Y/n, what's yours?" You ask, not really expecting an answer. Thank God this was a standard ghost and not a ghoul. You didn't think you had the patience for that today. "It's alright if you don't want to tell me. I just want to know why you're so hostile to make you that way. I'm not here to judge, I have good intentions. I promise you that"

Step one, build trust and rapport.

Silence.

You internally nod, moving your legs in a criss-cross manner to get a little more comfortable. Apparently, the ghost didn't like this silence and chucked a ceramic vase, which sat on the coffee table between the chairs, towards you. It just barely misses you and breaks on impact with the wall behind you, causing you to flinch a bit. The dusty, broken ceramic clatters onto the floor, creating a million pieces out of the used-to-be one-piece vase.

You keep your composure, not giving the undead the attention that she wanted. You sit in silence, a clear look of 'not taking shit' on your face.

"Stupid bitch" It whispers into your ear, catching you off gaurd. You feel a shiver run down your spine as a wave of coolness washes over you.

You lightly sigh, "We can sit here and insult each other all you want. I'm just here to help" You speak, leaning back in your chair.

Over the course of the next ten or so minutes, you hear petty insult after insult, like this ghost was trying to dig into your skin and was just miserably failing. You'd gotten used to this long ago. When would they ever learn?

Suddenly, you feel a tight sensation around your throat, which you nearly panic at feeling, considering you can feel the air suddenly leaving you. You grab at your throat, choking and gasping for air, trying to get whatever hands were on you off out of pure human instinct.

This has happened a few times, where the ghosts will put hands on you. It's never escalated to immediate choking, though, which was why it worried you so much. This was a very hostile ghost. It wasn't just going to stop. It wanted to hurt.

"Get off of me!" You joke, instinctively kicking out towards the ghost, who's obviously unable to feel it. "I want to help you!"

You feel your face grow cold, and your eyes become heavy. The transparent figure now becomes slightly visible, still very much opaque as it stands in front of you, arms stretched out to squeeze down on your throat.

You hear some muffled shouting outside, then a lot of mechanical wirring and beeping. Lars and Trevor came to your rescue, the older man cautiously pulling down the proton fields while the teenage boy ran in to help you.

You don't know exactly what happened within the next few seconds, but the forceful grip on your throat was pushed away, and you were quickly ushered past the proton barrier again.

Trevor holds you up as you choke and gasp for air, already feeling your throat begin to bruise.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" He quickly asks, sitting you down on the floor.

You nod and cough some more, trying to regulate the amount of air swarming to your lungs. You pound on your chest like you were choking on an actual something, wanting the painful choking to stop.

Once it does end, Trev quickly wraps you in a hug, trying to make sure you were okay.

"I'm okay, I'm fine. Just fucking hurt" You nod

"Are you sure? Phoebe, go get them some water." He quickly speaks, turning back to Phoebe, Podcast, and Lucky, who were concerningly watching from afar. Phoebe nods and quickly jogs out to the kitchen/lunchroom area.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm okay. Thank you"

[wildpeachfarm]

sorry for the long rant in advance, but I'm so fucking done with this situation. "people are picking apart my story's inconsistencies and not his" what inconsistencies? so far there hasn't been a single contradiction in his story, but plenty in yours. "the people siding with him are his friends" i have no idea how tf this is a valid point in any way. guess who are the people siding with her instead? her friends, who have shown distaste for the dream team. she's trying to allege bias, but are we supposed to believe her friends are not biased? ghostie's recount of the story isn't even consistent with caiti's. the whole comment about people finding out who she was vagueing makes me think the coat of anonimity of the person she was accusing made her more inclined to exaggerate parts of her story. that anonymous person can't defend themself, so parts of the story could be omitted or exaggerated. the way she spoke about it in her first stream gave me the impression it was supposed to be another vague, like rue with her "abuse enabler behind the scenes". Like she was just trying to say "this is another reason not to trust this vague circle of evil people that i'm not going to name but everyone knows who it is". like it was supposed to be a cautionary tale or something. but if people figuring out the identity of the person she was accusing really wasn't her intention, she must be like. really naive. it's like she was trying to bring awareness to this "evil person" without facing the reprocussions of making a public accusation. i really don't think she was trying to go for clout or whatever, and i do think her feelings of disgust and sadness were genuine, but they should've been gone over with a therapist by her side. not shared to millions of reactionary people on the internet.

this situation being compared to shelby's case kinda disgusts me tbh

ok two rants with one stone lol

I definitely see these points well tbh and they are good points. I think that everyone's feelings on this will be affected by their own experiences and I thank you both for sharing yours :)

Overall I really think the treatment of Shelby by caiti and those close to her during this whole thing is painful to watch and its a shame that Shelby's story of a traumatic relationship of repeated abuse got overshadowed by this because that doesn't help anyone.

I deeply believe Caiti needs to seek therapy in order to process this stuff without the influence of her shitty friends or twitter in her ear. A lot of deep introspection would do everyone some good imo.

[danielcalmdown]

ok i might be actually crazyyy for oversharing to a stranger on the internet but im desperate (?) to tell you:

i found your account a while ago because of your AMAZING disco elysium art and then sort of got lost in the rabbit hole of your posts and now you're constantly on my mind lol.

I'm also polish & im transmasc, have been identifying as "Some Type Of Trans" since like 2019 and it's only been evolving ever since; currently i use a different name and pronouns on uni, with friends, when outside of home and work basically - my family found out and had a field day with me about it. the dysphoria only gets worse year by year, and i dont really have any "older" trans people around me to tell me, like, anything. i only know that going to the ONLY specialist here in silesia and telling him "hey so im non-binary and don't even use masculine pronouns (i use ono/jeno) but i need to get ahead with some type of hormonal therapy or im going to go insane" will get me nowhere. what im getting at is "how do you cope" basically 😵 being trans in poland is the last circle of hell

aw thank you! i'm happy you like my art so much <3 BUT i might not be the best trans person to answer the "how to cope" question. everything went smoothly for me after i decided to go forward with transition. my family is fine with it, i pass without a problem and i had financial support to do everything required before they let you take the hormones. (it's a lot of money sadly, because all the good doctors are private n full price). if you need help with figuring out how and where to start, you can find all the information on trans support websites. like a list of recommended doctors in every city, all the necessary examinations n so on. i used this site a lot all the way thru! you should give it a try: https://tranzycja.pl/ btw if u plan on getting top surgery i highly recommend the clinic in Warsaw called Timeless. they did an amazing job with me!

[imtrashraccoon]

Hello everyone!

Next Day

A month ago I saw a post by @scrambledmeggys (I hope you don't mind me tagging you!) for a month's worth of prompts for Self Shipping with UF! Papyrus. I originally wanted to try my hand at art but I am much better at writing imo, so here is what I've come up with so far!

I missed Day 1 so now I'm uploading that and Day 2 at the same time. I'm planning on continuing to write a continuous storyline with these prompts but I am pretty much making things up as I go lol.

Edit: I actually drew something for this chapter here if you want to check it out!

Day 1: First Meeting

You walked carefully through the snow, cringing slightly from the loud crunching sound it made, interrupting the otherwise quiet winter morning.

You were in a tough spot to say the least.

The fall had been an accident. One moment, your little friend was innocently kicking stones down the sink hole, and the next, they'd slipped and fell in. Of course, you'd tried your hardest to catch them but then you lost your balance and plunged in after them.

Against all odds, you'd both survived the fall. While your friend had thankfully only sustained a few small cuts, especially because you managed to shield them from the impact, you on the other hand had hit your head pretty hard. The bleeding had stopped by now but you still felt weak and rather lightheaded.

Still, you had to keep going. You had to find a way to get Frisk back to the surface. They were still a child, barely six, and had their whole life ahead of them afterall.

Speaking of, Frisk lightly tapped your shoulder and you paused so they could tell you what was on their mind. Shifting them from your back around your body until you were facing them, you flashed them a small smile.

"What happened?" you asked quietly.

Frisk's face reflexively screwed up. "You died again..." they signed slowly.

Your smile fell. "I'm sorry..." you murmured and let out a sigh.

You didn't understand how or why, but ever since falling down here, Frisk had seemingly developed an amazing power that allowed them to reset time to previous safe points. They didn't really know how to explain it but they claimed it was sort of like reloading a video game.

You didn't know how many times you'd apparently died so far, as Frisk hadn't been keeping track. You were instead focusing on doing your best to keep moving forward. Still, you were pretty concerned for them.

While you didn't remember any of your deaths up to this point, you knew Frisk did and while neither of you was discussing it, you knew this was something that would need to be dealt with. Once you got back to the surface, you would need to get therapy and figure out how to do the same for Frisk. They would definitely benefit from it at least.

Frisk patted your shoulder and you realized you'd zoned out. "It's alright, I'm getting used to it." They smiled but you knew it was a forced one.

"I promise I will keep you safe. No matter what happens, we will get through this together," you said.

Frisk nodded and their expression took on a more determined look.

You took a deep breath. "Let's do this again then," you muttered and started to shift Frisk back into a piggyback hold.

"Watch out for the skeleton up ahead," Frisk signed before wrapping their arms around your shoulders again.

You raised an eyebrow. Was that who'd killed you? Frisk hadn't elaborated further but you didn't blame them. You'd died a couple times to the traps in the Ruins and many times during your escape from Toriel. Many of those had apparently been pretty grisly if how shaken Frisk had been afterwards was any indication.

< ~ - . - ~ >

Someone was stalking you. While you were trying not to think about it, you were getting pretty anxious. Frisk hadn't said anything else so you just focused on continuing forwards.

Until you came to a narrow bridge with wooden bars across it that is. While you could still get through the gap between the bars with little effort, before you could do so, you heard footsteps approaching from behind you.

Frisk tightened their hold on your shoulders and you quickly turned around to put yourself between them and this new person.

It was a skeleton but not quite like what human skeletons looked like. He was only slightly taller than you were, but his bones seemed thicker and sturdier which gave him quite a bit of added bulk.

He was wearing a gray hoodie with a fur fringe, a red turtle neck sweater underneath, a pair of basketball shorts, and a pair of high tops. His smile was filled with sharp teeth, one of which was gold, and there was a pair of crimson pinpricks in his otherwise empty eye sockets that regarded you suspiciously.

"well, well, what have we here?" he drawled as his eyelights flickered over your body.

You narrowed your eyes in response, feeling a wave of disgust at the way he was eyeing you up. "My eyes are up here, thank you very much," you muttered through grit teeth.

The skeleton chuckled, "ah, my bad." He held out his right hand and added, "name's sans, sans the skeleton. and you are?"

Before you could actually shake his hand though, Frisk squeezed your shoulder. You assumed they were warning you not to, so you didn't.

"Rihanna," you said in response.

Sans raised a bonebrow when you left him hanging but seemed ultimately unbothered, which was a relief. "i'd say it's nice to meet ya, but that'd be a lie," he said and flashed a slightly menacing grin at you.

If you weren't holding Frisk, you would've crossed your arms, so instead you just gave him an unamused look.

Sans chuckled and started to walk around you, "ya know, i'm supposed to be on the look out for humans right now, but i don't really care about capturin' anyone."

You remained facing him as he walked until you'd essentially swapped places. You held Frisk a bit closer as well, just in case you'd have to run.

"now my brother, Papyrus, well, he's a human huntin' fanatic," Sans continued. He glanced through the wooden fence and added, "go on through, he made the bars too wide to stop anyone anyways." He turned and strode casually across the bridge as if to demonstrate.

You glanced at Frisk over your shoulder and they nodded. Well, at least he didn't seem like he wanted to immediately kill you like most monsters you'd met so far. So you followed him, although you maintained a safe distance just to be on the safe side.

Sans paused near a wooden booth up ahead and looked further down the path. As you walked over to him, he made a quiet "huh" sound. "ya know what, i think that's my brother comin' this way now..." There was a slightly amused tinge to the tone of his voice as he spoke which sent a wave of irritation through you.

You glanced over where he was looking and immediately spotted a tall skeleton wearing black armour with red accents approaching. Even from this distance, you could tell he was pissed and it sent a shiver down your spine.

Frisk squirmed in your grip to be let down and while you didn't want to let go of them, you relented and let go. They thankfully stayed behind you and clutched onto one of your pant legs.

You knelt down next to them and ruffled their fluffy hair a little. Flashing them a small smile, you whispered, "We doing this?"

Frisk got a familiar determined look and nodded. "I'll help you! I think we can talk him down if you say the right things."

You chuckled and stood up again, ready to face this new opponent. You could get through this, in fact, you would get through this...for Frisk's sake.

Papyrus certainly looked familiar and part of you wondered if he was actually the one who'd killed you last time. It would make sense, as he definitely looked more dangerous than Sans.

He was at least a foot taller than you were and looked quite a bit different from his brother. He still had sturdy bones but his frame was a lot more angular compared to Sans' more bulky look. He had sharp teeth as well, although his eyelights were a slightly different shade, maybe a scarlet? His left eye socket also had two long scars across it, presumably from a fight.

Besides his black chestplate, Papyrus also wore long red gloves, a red scarf that was more of a cape, and tall red boots with heels surprisingly. If you weren't battling to remain calm, you probably would've complimented his bold fashion sense. You didn't know of anyone else who could look so menacing and...hot at the same time.

"Sans! You Lazybones! You Have Not Reset Your Traps Yet Today! What If A Human Comes..." He paused mid rant when he took in your appearance.

Sans bristled and the corners of his smile fell slightly. He seemed like he was about to retort in kind but stopped himself.

Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets at you as if he was scrutinizing your appearance. He slowly strode forward, stopping a few feet away from you. "Why Does It Feel Like I Have Met You Before, Human?" he asked in a chillingly quiet tone.

You stared up at him unblinkingly and crossed your arms. "I could ask the same actually..." you answered.

Papyrus glanced at Sans, who merely shrugged. "don't ask me, bro," he hissed.

Frisk tugged at your pant leg to get your attention. When you glanced down, they quickly signed what was on their mind. "Flirt with him."

You had to bite your tongue to keep yourself from retorting and drawing too much attention. Why would they suggest such a thing? Where had this child even picked up the concept of flirting? If this worked, you were going to have a serious discussion with them at some point.

"So, Papyrus," you started to say, catching his attention once again. "Do you have more bones than the average human or would you like to find out?" You mentally kicked yourself for that one but tried to maintain face and batted your eyelashes at him.

Papyrus stared at you for a solid five seconds before the meaning of your question seemed to set it. A dusting of scarlet flickered across his cheekbones and he stepped back from you, covering his mouth as he did so.

You smiled and stepped slightly closer to him. Feeling slightly bolder, you called upon everything you had learned from sucking up to college professors and your boss.

"If I may be so bold, I think you also look very cool. Like seriously, humans dress so boring in comparison." You made a bit of a show of looking him up and down, nodding approvingly. "I'm actually jealous of how cool you are."

Papyrus opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it. The scarlet blush wasn't disappearing no matter how hard he probably wished it would. He stammered and stepped back again.

"You... Your Flattery Will Not Save You, Human." He scoffed and turned on his heal. As he stormed off, you heard him mutter something along the lines of, "Not Being Able To Talk Your Way Out Of My Traps."

You couldn't believe that had worked. You scooped Frisk into your arms and hugged them tightly. "You have some explaining to do later, kiddo..." you muttered but Frisk only grinned at you, clearly proud of themselves.

"wow, i can't tell if you're insane or just lucky. either way, i'll be keepin' an eye socket on ya, human..." Sans said quietly.

You chuckled and flashed him a triumphant grin, which caused him to huff and walk away in the direction you had come from. You'd survived just a little bit longer it seemed.