#i really realllllly old one!

[amandamonroe]

i thought we could beat the storm, but the ambulance spun off the road.

trying to keep you alive and my head up above water wasn’t anything I ever planned for.

they were supposed to help me but all they did was laugh, even long after we’d crashed.

i knew I wasn’t a priority, i’d been told that for months.

that was the way it was supposed to be— you before me— but they didn’t listen to my pleas.

instead they laughed. and then they left me.

i had useless keys and an alphabet of bruises and one more of the dead and no one to call and the crippling knowledge that help wasn’t coming.

—code of unethical care.

[azulas-lightning-bolt]

sooo in regards to @korrasgonefishing’s post that I rb mentioning my fem!mako post and how I was talking about how the bending brothers’ batman ahh backstory would be even more tragic for a little girl because humans can be miserable creatures and they were like ‘oh but what if it was more chill’ and then got talking about bloodstains and I was thinking

oh. mako was orphaned at 8 years old. her mom never would’ve had time to teach her little girl about periods because why would she? they have all the time in the world.

and that’s got me thinking, damn, she wouldn’t have known anything about girlhood. maybe the prostitutes who take pity might tell her the blood doesn’t mean she’s dying, but they probably don’t have much more to teach her that she wants to know, nor would many care to spare the time. and im sure canon mako was the same, not really knowing anything about what to do when he got older, only able to teach bolin how to shave when he’s got a million little nicks on his own face from trial and error.

and that was sad again, my apologies. but it could be happy! and guess howwwwww,, momboss and daughtercop!

so since they’re the sillies ever and also chronically emotionally impaired, their girlhood bonding moment when mako fucks up. (also both of them not really having ‘girlhood’ because of shit ass childhoods… hmm beifong family angst save me…. wait lin beifong learning how to girl on her own because toph never thought to teach her… toph realizing she fucked up way too late because it wasn’t forcing her girl to be a dolly the way toph’s parents had forced her, she just wanted to learn how 2 use eyeshadow,,,, beifong angst save me)

so anyways. mako is so #silly and unaware that chronic lesbianism exists so she’s trying to comphet so hard and going on dates with the biggest fuckin douchebags ever (bcuz they’re ‘manly’ and she has a reason other than being queer for not really liking them) and trying to convince herself she does like them. and essentially she finds this one guy who realllllly fucks her over and he comes into the station to try and embarrass her too, going off about how she could use some makeup and that she acts more like a man than him and. ouch. because she’s always had this problem, she tries to make herself a role model for bolin, but she hates it because being a girl is a piece of her identity that literally cannot be taken away and she’s just letting herself lose it? my fem!mako is cis but she has so many gender feelings because. yeah.

anyway lin to the rescue! who tf are YOU to come into MY station and harass MY officer? I suggest you walk ur smelly ass right back out or you don’t want to find the fuck out what I can charge you with. cuz she’s silly.

and then cue sullen pissy mako cuz she’s like… 18. she’s still a teenager and one of her biggest insecurities just got targeted in front of all her coworkers who she knows already don’t respect her. so she’s miserable the rest of the day,,, until lin to the rescue again!!!

she pulls her daughter aside cuz she’s worried (not that she’ll say so) and is like. don’t let him get to you cuz he’s an asshole and doesn’t really have much worth saying and less worth listening to. you’re allowed to wear light makeup and stuff at the station if you want to, and if you’re really bugged I can pinch someone’s ear to get you some accommodations. because she’s mother.

but then mako is like I FONT KNOW HOWWWW and crying cuz she’s lowkey devastated she never had someone to teach her… anything. she doesn’t really know how to use pads (being broke means you learn how to make bootlegs of, like, everything), she’s never even owned makeup, she hasn’t worn a dress since she was 7, and she doesn’t know any of the girl things every girl seems to know because she has no mom‼️‼️

and lin goes. hm. I am tragically reminded of myself right now. instead of Dealing with that, I’m going to aggressively help and thus permanently insert myself as a mother figure in my favorite kid’s life. so she, over time and gradually less awkward invitations to her house, teaches mako how to use makeup, slightly enjoying being able to experiment with mako’s uniquely distinct features. she teaches her about period cycles and how to cope, and goes shopping for pretty clothes that she insists on paying for at the last second (“you paid for the food already.” “yeah, chief, from the CHEAPEST VENDOR IN RC?? I thought you hated their food!?” she does. she knew mako needed to pay for something, and felt bad picking anything pricey.) and tells mako about her own girlhood and they both are girls.

this is insane wish fulfillment for me btw. what I could’ve had w my mom if I was normal lololol but anyway. I hope that got silly enough at the end cuz I was thinking about my own comphet era writing this and it hurt my soul a little bit !!

[exhuastedpigeon]

Omg tell me about townie sterek please

Okay this fic is my dearest fic and I realllllly want to get my Sterek writing mojo back so I can write it.

Stiles is a 'townie' in Beacon Hallow (a town I made up in Cape Cod). His dad is the county sheriff and his mom was a teacher at the high school - she dies tragically mid school year from a really aggressive cancer. He doesn't know is mom's parents at all but they're rich and Claudia met Noah (ugh he'll always be John to me) when she was a teenager summering on the cape.

The Hales are a wealthy family that spend their summer at their beach house in beacon Hallow.

Stiles and Derek meet because Stiles works at the old timey ice cream shop/burger joint. They have a summer fling and that should be the end of it right?

WRONG! Stiles' mom's last wish was for him to go to a fancy prep school (where she went to school) and her parents are willing to pay for it. She got Stiles in before she died. So he shows up for his first day at this fancy ass school (which is like an hour+ drive for him one way) and Derek's there.

The opening couple paragraphs are under the cut:

Summer was usually a time of year that kids looked forward to and typically Stiles Stilinski loved summer. Summers on Cape Cod were kind of special, even if you weren’t one of the stupid rich families who summered on the Cape. But this summer he was having trouble mustering any excitement since summer meant he was losing the distraction of school, lacrosse, and the mindless work of homework. 

This was his first summer without his mom and he honestly didn’t know what he was going to do with himself. The loss was still so raw, it had only been six months and every day waking up without her felt like losing her all over again. At least he had a summer job lined up at one of the local ice cream shops, Scoops, to keep him busy. 

“I’m on night shift this week,” Stiles' dad said when Stiles sat down at their little kitchen table the first morning of summer vacation. He was the sheriff in Barnstable County and summers were extra busy with the tourists and seasonal residents on Cape Cod. Not for the first time, Stiles wished Barnstable County was a little smaller and didn’t take up the entire Cape. 

“I can bring you dinner tonight,” Stiles supplied, “I’m not starting work until next week.”

“Don’t worry about it,” His dad said, taking a long drink from his coffee, “You know the first week of the summer holiday means all of the rich families who are in town for the season stop by and drop off meals.”

That Stiles did know. It made him a little sad to think about it, actually. His parents had met when his mom, fresh out of college and about to start law school at Harvard in the fall, had stopped in with cookies for the sheriff's department. It was his dad’s first summer on the force and they had fallen hard for each other.

[theladylatias]

Was digging through some realllllly old art for... reasons, and then I came across this art that I forgot I did and forgot I really liked??

My redesign of Silva, that kid who really tries to be helpful in Pokemon Colosseum!

My particular redesign was for a now-defunct fanfic idea I kinda started writing: Pokemon Colosseum, but everyone is either a vampire or trying to avoid being killed by vampires. Silva is one of the latter. xD (Maybe I should pick up the idea again at some point? I fell out of love with vampires for a while but now I'm totally up for vampires again, haha.)

But honestly, I might just keep the design fullstop for my entire Pokemon Colosseum headcanon.

...Ugh. Cowboy Silva <3

[myverylastduchess]

who has more bde between byron and shelley and why

Good question~

LB lived his life like he had a big dick — I think his body count might’ve been something in the hundreds (a number he really cranked up when he was being depraved depressed in Italy for a few years) and we have a lot of accounts of women, aristocrats as well as random fangirls (including Claire clairmont)writing letters literally offering themselves up to him for the chance to be graced with herpes his sexgod skills and he also cuckholded a man who was lowkey a high-ranking member of an Italian mafia and the guy was vaguely cool with it — so of course we might be led to conclude that Byron’s the clear winner

But no.

I have a theory that the reason why Percy Beatrice shelley died is because he had the bigger dick. So when Byron and Shelley were in Italy together trying to recreate the magic of the summer of 1816 (which gave us Frankenstein blessed be her name) and slowly realizing that they were too old and diseased Byron at this point to get back to that, they got realllllly into sailing. Both always enjoyed it but there was something a lot more obsessive and serious this time, especially for Shelley. At one point Shelley had a boat built, I think Byron might’ve helped foot the bill, and when it was finished the first thing he saw was the name Don Juan written along the side of it which I’m fully aware is more textual evidence for Byron’s bde but stick with me. But it was fine: he sailed it, renamed it the Ariel, all was right with the west wind.

And then suddenly out of nowhere a dark threatening shape emerged from the moonlit bay and Shelley could only watch in horror as he realized that his frenemy had constructed a boat that was about ten times larger than his own, complete with a full library and bedroom [*sighs*]. Byron didn’t even sail it very much he just wanted the bigger boat but anyway Shelley, ignoring that, immediately got to work trying to rig out (I don’t know sailor speak I’m sorry) his and try to make an even bigger and better one. He didn’t quite manage that but he did however manage to make his vessel incredibly dangerous to sail with and spend way too much money doing it. The hull or something else was too heavy to go out on the water safely and, well, we know how that worked out for him when he, a man who never learned how to swim or wipe his own ass, went out during a storm

As I mentioned Byron really only cared about displaying to Shelley that it was he, GEORGE GORDON, who had the money and the power to build the best boat and not Shelley … but why? Why did he feel the need to oneup him when he already had the title, the wealth, the fame, the several undiagnosed stds Even with all these things Byron always felt a little inadequate to Shelley. He thought percy had more natural poetic sensibilities and maybe even felt that he was the better writer and maybe, just maybe, that his penis was larger. It is this point in particular on which the whole of Shelley’s drowning mounts. I’m not sure if Shelley was aware that Byron felt this way or not — what I do know is that if Byron’s bde had been just a little bit stronger then this rivalry would never have been born and Shelley likely would’ve lived on quite a few more decades, he might’ve even learned to swim (jk he’d never).

It’s a bittersweet victory but, yes, it was Shelley who possessed the greater bde

And for one last piece of concluding evidence I’ve attached two paintings of lord byron which differ their depictions in radically opposing ways. One is the portrait of a man who’s at least average; the other’s just Ken — the true likeness, I think

Edit omg: I was wrong I was so so wrong. Apparently Byron's body was examined in the thirties and those present noted the remarkable size of his--

[the-ink-of-roses]

𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 - tim drake

— 'you were so sure you didn't know him, but somehow you felt the need to hug him and heal his bruised heart.'

- immortal!tim drake x reincarnated!reader - warnings: mentions of death, a realllllly wonky reincarnation thing going on, idk tbh, sobs, set twenty years in the future. - written with gn reading in mind! the reader is an orphan

this is the first prompt of a writing event im doing with @irenica and @damianwaynesproperty !!!!!! both of them are awesome writers and people, be sure to check their blogs out!

prompt: you died, i saw you die so i died with you, but standing here, right now, why does it feel like i know you from a whole nother world? "you seem familiar but this is the first time we've met."

a/n: aaaaaaaaaaaaa this one has my whole heart in it <;3

there's something so familiar about the church's roof, you almost feel at home.

it's weird really; the church is abandoned, known for its hauntings but still, whatever you seem to do you cannot keep away from it, even after your friends warn you about the death of a young person there.

according to them, the person's name was the same as yours--which makes you automatically cool--and around two decades ago, they died here.

the funny part--it's funny to you but gruesome to everyone else--is that the church had security cameras in every corner, yet the footage of all of them is blurred out like someone is avoiding seeing the person's death and now it's a ghost story

not one person in new gotham can figure it out.

the typical gotham part stays the same, the person (a lot of people called them y/n which is weird for you because apparently, the orphanage decided to name you after a ghost)

none of the stories you've heard has stopped you from climbing onto the roof here for sure. 

thinking about it, it should have at least freaked you out; someone with the same name as you died here, all the evidence was erased and then no records of that person who shared the same name as you ever existed, it was incredibly easy to brush them off as rumours.

but your orphanage owner knew them apparently.

he would look at you with a sad smile more often than not, telling you how much you were like his passed friend, that’s why you were named as such.

you called it unable to move on but all to their own.

sitting here right now, you suddenly feel the urge to pay your respects to the y/n that passed, feeling somewhat responsible for continuing their legacy. it’s silly when you think about it, but they apparently passed the same year you were born. 

you silently vow to live your life, not just for yourself but for your namesake too. history won’t erase you, not this time.

out of an old habit--and pure instinct--you throw a coin into a dried well beside you. 

normally, people are surprised with the gorgons here, but you weren’t surprised at the number of gorgons and the one well here; this was kind of old gotham, what you’d heard was there were a lot of them.

almost too many.

but you liked them so you weren’t complaining. even right now, they feel comfortable, and you are sure if they were alive you would hug them.

just as you look around them though, you spot something inscribed on the wall of the church. 

curiosity calls at you and you walk towards it, completely unaware of the sudden appearance of a man wearing red, glaring at you through the shadows a few feet away.

-

tim doesn’t like it anyone coming to the place where his lover died, and he especially hates it when they make it a ghost story, throwing a coin into the place where the two of them had all those years ago.

if being a ghost story, a shadow of who tim drake used to be, is needed to make sure teenagers are kept out of this site, then so be it. he’ll be the haunting lover of the old church in gotham, he’ll protect your last memory with him until he dies until time tears him into whatever they’ve made of bruce.

until he can forget the smell of chocolate cake and coffee on the night before your death, he will haunt this place. until your face is nothing but a blank, he will protect this.

so he attacks once again. 

warning the person who walked into the place he lost the most important person of his life by dragging his bo-staff across the old brick walls, creating a noise you hated.

“timmy!”

he shakes himself from the same old walking nightmare of your scream. 

it’s been more than two decades but he can’t get rid of that goddamn yell of his name that lingers in his brain, he can’t get rid of your last lingering touches, or the media blaming it on him. blaming it on red robin.

it’s all his fault though. everything that happened here is. it’s his fault, all his fault. all his fau–

it’s when the person turns to where he’s scratching the staff.

you look just as beautiful as you did when you died in his arms.

-

the church inscriptions are weird. 

most of them have your name written and crossed out, with some having yours in a heart with the name of another person. ‘tim drake’

you don’t know who that is, but the name fills you with a feeling of safety you’ve never felt before. it makes you feel like coming home to chocolate cake waiting with a cup of coffee and a lover, even if you’ve never had any of those things.

it sounds like metal being dragged across a brick, textured wall and you hate that noise. you despise it more than you’ve hated almost anything else.

so you turn to make sure it’s no prank.

when you do turn, you walk over to the ledge to look at something, hoping it's a prank from down below rather than here. you don’t want to believe the ghost stories, you’re better than the ghost stories. 

but you’re not better than algae apparently, so in the most cliche way, you slip on some of it, almost tumbling over the edge. on instinct, you scream, not recognising the name you’ve yelled.

‘tim!’ maybe you screamed for him just because you’d read the name earlier. it doesn’t matter anymore though because you’ve lost all balance.

you’re sure your heart stopped for a moment, as just as you’re about to accept death again, a scream of your name is heard from above and just before you can fall off, two arms reach for you, pulling you back to safety.

the guy is breathing harshly, keeping you flush against him in a tight grip, like he’s afraid of letting you go.

eventually, you tap on his shoulder and the stranger stumbles back with a confused look. 

“thank you for the save here.” you awkwardly shuffle your feet, smiling at the person. “i’m not scared of ghost hauntings, but algae definitely terrify me now. i’m y/n, y/n l/n, you are?”

he blinks like he didn't expect that, and there’s a certain look in his eyes that makes you want to go over and hug him or at least have his arms around you again, missing the warmth you had when he held you.

you shake them off; the guy is attractive. it’s just a once-in-a-time crush, nothing else.

“tim.” he hesitantly speaks, almost like it pains him to do so.

you laugh when he does. probably rude but it was funny to you, okay? “ how funny is it that both of us have the same name as the ones on the walls? think this was destiny?” 

you’re only joking around, it’s obvious with your laughter, but a part of you is upset when he smiles slightly, acknowledging it as a joke. you offer one last smile to tim before starting to walk away. 

tim’s shadow makes it look like tim wants to reach out to you with a hand outstretched but when you turn back, he’s standing normally. not wanting to make it awkward, you smile at him again, “i’ve got a biology test tomorrow, so i should get going, but i’ll see you again, yeah?” 

he’s lost in a daze before he nods back, and you walk away, missing the stranger once suddenly.

-

fate hates him. it’s playing a game with him.

someone who looked like the love of his life, yelling his name, falling over the same ledge you fell over all those years ago, it’s a sick game he cannot get out of.

so he rushes to catch them. 

tim does what he wished he did when you fell twenty years ago and he catches you and hugs you tight. tim blinks off the violent imagery of you falling, of you being killed by someone down there while he’s tied over the ledge and forced to watch.

he tumbles back when he realises he’s hugging this person, his heart breaking when they speak.

that’s y/n. but is it his y/n? are they the same one he fell in love with? he doesn’t know for sure but when you talk about your biology test, he curses the fates again for this game they’re playing. 

he doesn’t know who he’s angrier at; himself for doing this or whoever controls this hellscape now for letting either of you rest.

maybe it’s both because seeing you here is somewhat of hell on its own. the only difference is that now instead of the scream he heard twenty years ago, he’s got a new fresh scream that sounds exactly like yours haunting his days.

[20dollarlolita]

Why not do a coord breakdown, I guess? Here's what I wore today.

With some Bodyline shoes that--wait for it--had fallen apart and needed to be put back together. (Bodyline shoes I've had to do that with, 5/7).

Anyway, I'm doing this breakdown because I actually put a decent amount of thought into this coord and I'd like to just share that. This coordinate had to fact the Sacramento Summer Convention problem: it is like 100F (38c) on a normal Sac summer day.

Part a) the dress. So one of those things that I do to keep budget lolita in line is that I put restrictions on what I buy. For example, I don't buy dresses that are over $100 unless it's a very specific circumstance. And my recent one is that I'm not going to buy dresses unless I can get a matching hair accessory. So when someone on the 20dollarlolita pattern school discord (message me if you want me to post a new link for that) pointed out that Closet Child had this for like $80 with the headdress, felt like it was suitable for using the lolita fund on. With my current job, I just make a point to save a little from each pay check to occasionally buy new lolita just because it's a deal. I don't have serious dream dresses because I don't want to give myself permission to spend a ton of money on a dress because it's "fulfilling a dream," so I just have a fund for "ooh I like that and I have enough". Having this level of flexible income isn't a thing that I've had until a couple of years ago, so I'm very grateful to have it now.

This is Meta's Princess Wardrobe Lace-Up JSK, which was originally sold in a set with a blouse and socks and a bag. It's often called "Lace Up Doll" because that's what Meta sometimes called it when it was released. It's a really cool textured fabric and unlined in the bodice. The fabric is almost a gauze texture, but it's 100% cotton with an unlined bodice, and that means it's suitable for Sacramento in the summer. This dress was sold in two different lengths, which is the Mid Length and the Mini Length, and I did not check which one I was getting when I bought it from Closet Child. I have the Mini Length.

I'm honestly really bad at hair accessories. I had neon pink hair for so long where the hair basically was the accessory, so I could get away with it, but now I've started to have to get more serious about my hair wear. That's part of my new policy with getting the matching hair accessories. Anyway, I don't wear flat things like rectangle headdresses too much, and this one was wider than I'm used to. I got a bit tripped up in it, to be honest, and you'll see.

Part 2) A theme. So there's a TON of historical time periods within lolita, even within certain sub-sections. You can identify the difference between 2010 sweet and 2016 sweet very easily. One of the major differences is the usage of synthetic and sheer fabrics, which is a newer development in lolita. In my early days of lolita, raschel lace overlays were realllllly pushing it in terms of edgy. Your fabrics were opaque, your lace was plain, your necklines were high and your elastic was minimal. My first thought was that this was that flat headdresses were common in old school, so I could try styling this more with old(er) school accessories. We'd do a nice plain chunky heel and a solid blouse. Solid blouse loses points on, "it' Sac in the Summer" but hey, indoor con, hope I don't get covid again, we can wear the solid blouse. We can pair this with some knee-high socks and get kind of an old school vibe.

So many of y'all are familiar with the selfie mirror I've been using for like a decade now. Well, this time, I didn't even need to get down the hall to know that my idea didn't work:

Pardon the piles of stuff. Y'all know how I am at this point.

so

I got this far away and knew how much this wasn't working. This was also the point where I learned that there was a mini length and a mid length for this skirt.

So, having armed myself with the information that this styling didn't work, we have to ask what will work. The first thing that I knew was that I wanted an underskirt of some kind, because that was like my entire ass on display there. The gap between my socks and the hem of my skirt was much too large.

This is one of those cases where building a lolita wardrobe like a magpie can be really helpful. If you just kind of add things to your arsenal because you like them and think they might work with lolita, you'll have a plan B to change into.

I know what underskirt I have is actually a vintage petticoat. I knew for a fact that it was my only underskirt, and that it's a large tulle lace ruffle. If I put this in my coord, then any thought about old-school influences is out. And if that's out, well, let's lean pretty heavily into that being out.

So, we break out the sheer blouse, thank fuck, because it's Sac Summer, and now we need to think about balance again. I have a sheer blouse, and I have a semi-sheer ruffle hanging out of the bottom of my dress. If I do opaque socks, that's going to put a lot of heavyness into the bottom of the look, and throw off the balance.

So, we get lace tights to match the lace blouse. One of the nice things about lolita is that balance being such a heavy part of it, certain things will just grow their way into being what you need. You just have to learn its language.

I should probably to bed because my seroquel is going to kick in. Welcome to #pinkafterdark everyone. I'm going to keep writing.

Anyhow, I felt like this made a more mature looking coordinate. These also allowed me to wear these Bodyline shoes instead of my similar Demonia ones, because the Bodyline ones are just a little bit more comfortable and I've already got an ankle problem to deal with.

There's a lot of different ways to coordinate a similar look, and if you study different time periods in lolita, you can find inspiration for how to get a coherent look through time periods.

Part III) The Rest. Okay. There were some things that I knew I wanted to accessorize this with. Notably, I have a small battery-powered sewing machine that I wanted to carry like a purse. If a Usakumya Pouchette is a purse, then a children's toy on a cross body strap can be a purse, right? Unfortunately, this wasn't ready by the time of the convention, so it didn't happen. The other things I'd bought specifically for this coord was jewelry in the shape of scissors. I have a little necklace and some cute earrings that are scissors.

And then I had the section that I'm always bad at, which I'm going to call Is This The Kitchen Sink? 2.0. This is the section when I look at a coord and have to decide what's missing. I have some sad little wrist cuffs that I made, which were a good choice for getting my wrists covered and extending the level of detail down to my hands. I have a couple of pretty good generic stretch bracelets that I will stick on a lot of coords. I need to get into having coordinate-specific jewelry, but today was not that day.

And then I have that choker necklace. This is such a weird thing for me, because four years ago that would not have flown in lolita and would have been ita as hell. And nothing really changed in lolita to make it acceptable. What changed was mainstream fashion, where chokers once again became acceptable jewelry for everyday wear. I just thought it was an interesting case of one fashion lending change to another. I kind of tried it on as a half-attempt to figure out what was going on in the coord, and I felt like it really worked. YMMV but I was very fond of it. Lace up choker to match Lace-Up Doll, right?

Everyone's heard of my "faking it" card, where you can kind of get away with some things not being perfectly lolita if you coordinate them properly. You only get so many in a given coord, and I might have used one on this, but I really liked the result.

Part 7) Conclusion. I've said before that you can have an amazing outfit that you love, and have it miss the lolita mark. It not being lolita does not mean that you have to love it any less. Even if you intended it to be lolita, if it didn't read as that, well, that's a bummer, but you can still love it as an outfit.

I think what I don't talk about enough is how you can have an outfit that checks all the lolita boxes, and have it be perfectly fine, but if you have to add a little change or a little something extra to make you absolutely love it, well, that's also important. Loving an outfit doesn't make it lolita but doing something to make you love your lolita outfit can still make it better.

I had a moment where I saw my reflection in a window and realized that I looked exactly like I wanted lolita fashion to look on me when I first started. That was so cool.

So yeah, there you go, just wnating to let everyone know that when you start thinking that you're going to get knocked out by your bipoarl pills you should probably put off finishing th epost until morning.

G'night.

[treluvd]

❤️🎁💕🦈🚦💡🎯🎨

Hiiii!!!! I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT DAY AND I THINK YOU ARE SUPER DUPER AWESOME!!!!!! 💞

HIII I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT DAY! YOU ARE SUPER AWESOME!!

Here's the answers your emojis! (thank you sm for asking!)

❤️ (What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?) - this one is realllllly hard for me! I really like this piece from You Idiot Kid- "Raph barely cried, and he never sobbed, but, god was he close now. “Leo! Please just tell me you won’t tell him! He- He’d hate me! I don’t want him to know! Please. Promise me Leo. Please. For me.”" But I also love this from Leaving Old Memories (MAJOR SPOILERS) - "He had pressed the cannon button. He had Shredder's head in the cannon. He knew it would jam and kill not only The Shredder, but himself, too. He wasn’t afraid. His brothers were safe. He wasn’t afraid, he really wasn’t, but there was a squeezing in his chest. Even in his last moments, all he could think about were his brothers. But they were safe. He had made sure of that. He closed his eyes. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our promise, Leo." both of these break my heart oml.

🎁 (Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?) - I'm so glad you asked this becuase I actually have two wip's that I'm really happy about right now. One of them is an angtsy Racey fic, and the other is a pretty wholesome comfortish fic. Heres one of first paragraphs from my Racey fic - "The amount of times he looked through he and Casey’s text messages in the last 24 hours was alarming. The amount of times he had looked through their pictures together was even more so. He knew he was being dramatic, he could still be friends with Casey, he knew that, but he still felt like he had lost one of the most important people in his life. He knew Casey didn’t like him like he did, but still, the confirmation hurt." And heres a piece from my more fluffy one from Donnies perspective - "Depending on how severe the nightmare was, he sometimes would make a nest of blankets on the ground next to Raph’s bed. Though he didn’t like to admit it, he found it really comforting to sleep in Raph’s room, away from all his beeping and buzzing machines that he lived with. Eventually, he would come to Raph’s bedroom not only when he had nightmares, but also when he was frustrated with whatever he was working on late into the night. He found it helpful to rant for a short time, then curl up and sleep in the soft warm light coming from Raph’s night light."

💕(What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?) - Probably Fade Me Away! I like, can't stop thinking about it. Not that anyone reading this is probably interested, but my favorite of my It fics is probably Seeing You Makes it Better. I just think theres something so romantic about it that I haven't been able to bring into my TMNT fics at all.

🦈(Which character is the toughest to write?) - Definitly Mikey 100%. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much, but I just feel like it's really hard for me to relate to him. He really reminds me of my little sister, though, so I just try to think of her when I write him!

🚦(What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?) - My favorite to read and write are defenitly really sad angst fics, but with hopeful endings. Especially in my It days, I would often have the last sentences be that way. Examples, "Even if things weren’t exactly okay right now, Bill was certain they would be, as long as he had Stan on his side." Or, "Bill felt the weight of the night lift off his chest. He was safe with Stan, and he always would be. Stan was enough of a home Bill would ever need." I like the fic to really hurt, but I don't like to leave people walking away feeling compleatly unhappy lol.

💡(How many WIPs do you currently have?) - 6! 4 TMNT ones and 2 It ones, but the It ones are realistically pretty abandoned.

🎯 (Do you have a writing milestone you’re working towards?) - Not really! Though I'm almost at 50,000 words on ao3, so that'll be fun to hit!

🎨(If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?) Omg anything really. Thats like a dream of mine. I guess if I had to choose, Raph with his mechanical arm from Fade Me Away would be really awesome!

[und3rwat3r-a5tr0naut]

Alas, I have not. Like years ago I wanted to play it but it seemed so complicated to me back then and I kinda forgot about it and left it on the back burner. Then I saw John Hancock and I think his name's Nick (?) And you got me interested again. Specifically cause of John, love his character design big time. Now when I get intrigued or like a characters design, I go digging for information on the wazoo for the character or said game. So back stories, let's go, gameplay, let's do that too so I have visual representation and so on. Granted I'm tempted to play the games to understand more and thoroughly enjoy it because gameplay can only give me so much joy compared to actually hands on enjoying the game as I personally play it., but as of late I've been kinda grouchy when gaming and having a lack of patience. But curiosity is highly peeked and I would actually like to play the game(s) when I get out of my funk. But if thoust wants to rant about the game to someone I'd be happy to hear. Whether that be the storyline or whatever it may be. Would help %100 help on what's going on or even just random tidbits

Ooooh it’s such a fun world. It’s like if in the 50s we had super advanced tech, mixed with the world ending to radiation. Hence the name fallout 😆.

And Hancock! He was my first romance in the game after I realized I couldn’t romance Nick 😅😂 he’s a ghoul, which are people from before the war in game (200yrs as of fallout 4) who were affected by the radiation and kinda burned rlly bad but also kinda preserved so they live a realllllly long time. Hancock is a special case tho because he’s not old at all, and used to be normal before he (spoilers ahead lol) took something experimental that had radiation in it and it changed him drastically into a ghoul. He’s a really flawed yet interesting character.

And Nick is my beloved andjfjfjdjebdjfjrndj love that guy. Any robot characters I’m like 😍 he’s so compelling story wise and one of the more fleshed out followers.

If you think you would like listening more I can offer you some let’s play links that are some of my faves! One in particular is my fave because the person role plays as her character every episode and it’s so immersive 😍

I can also tell/show you my current character if you want too! 🤩

[poorlittleyaoyao]

We have so much in common with are feelings 😂😂💕 (Nieyao/Nielan vs Xiyao anon). I loved the angst we got from Xieyao the show wise (and idk the Dougha did an amazing job in some aspects with making my heart wretch for them) but a lot of the fanworks are too fluffy for me (I do ofc have exceptions, I’m drawn in by good premises). And also I too dislike “Nielan was broken by that mean Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao” and I rather like the dynamics “Nielan had a budding romance in their tween years but after experimenting and growing older have other responsibilities and relationships now. Maybe some old memories come up but both are rather happy”. My favorite (ships) for JGY has to be Suyao (one sided? Sure! Requited? Absolutely. Mutual pinning? Yes yes.) and Sangyao (I like it messy and I want them to make each other worse :)) On occasion they can murder people together if NMJ isn’t killed). I too think I could shove JGY in any situation and enjoy (same w/ Jiang Cheng but too a less degree. I can see him with everyone but kinda enjoy the angst of him on his own. If that makes sense). Also, I feel though there’s less Nieyao novel wise it’s pretty palpable. But maybe that’s just me “every time I saw them interact my shipdar went insane”. Some of my “I still like them but in certain scenearios” Jgy pairings are XueYao and JGY/Lan Qiren (it was a realllllly good fic)

SUYAO MY BELOVED. ;_; I just have a lot of feelings about how Su Minshan knew about most of what JGY had going on (it's unclear if he knew about the patricide pre-Temple and even less clear if he knew about the incest) and was like "I understand bb 🥺 please let me help 🥺"

JGY's shipping potential lies in the fact that he ends up entangled with SO MANY PEOPLE in canon that there's something to work with for everyone except, like, Wangxian. The other ships for him that I personally am like "if you have multichapter explorations, hmu" are Chengyao and JGY/Yanli (Yaoli?), neither of which has as much to draw on in canon as other ships but there is potential that can either fix things or make things much worse depending on one's mood and I stand by that. Sangyao and XueYao are both great terrible fun, though, and I'm now very curious about how he and LQR would play out.

(That said. If I'm really being honest, the healthiest option for the man would probably be for him to take some time alone oh my god, because his chronic customer service "adjusting to what your audience wants" shtick is uhhh Not Great in a romantic relationship context and really Not Great if that relationship is also sexual. He and Qin Su make me so sad in part because he seems like he was pretty unguarded with her in novel canon... until he VERY MUCH WASN'T and trapped her in a godawful situation.)

[orchidyoonkook]

Writer's ask game!

4, 5, 43, and 97!

😘😘😘

Hi Violet!! I love you.

As always, I talk to much so: ⬇️⬇️

4. What is the plot bunny you've been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven't written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

TWWWBAATTA was the only one that REALLLLLLY wouldn’t leave me alone. But besides that I don’t really get plot bunnies. More one liners or super vague ideas in the form of beats that I keep circling back to.

So like one of the ones that’s always in my head as a title is “Arrival of the Last”. But I don’t know what to do with it yet.

Or one of the ones that’s a beats one is:

“Cool, could I get her number then?”

“Does your face enjoy meeting concrete?”

“Uh .. no?”

“Well then there’s your answer”

But again. I don’t know what to do with it yet.

As for the bonus question. I work in cycles due to my adhd. So all of these ideas came from an ON cycle for writing. And right now I’m in an off cycle so writing is much much harder for me. Which is why I started the book thing. To try and bump writing and reignite my passion for it.

5. Have you ever made a playlist about something you were writing as an elaborate means to proerastinate when you could have been aetually writing and if yes drop a link, son

Yes! But also no? Back when I was 19 I was writing this grandeur story that is buried somewhere on an old hard drive. And I couldn’t work on it unless I was listening to non album twenty one pilots songs. So I made a private YouTube playlist, but I can take pics:

43. How did writing change you?

If I say it hasn’t does that count?

I’m one of those people whose really creative in a bunch of things. Like I can look at a crafts project and just figure out how to do it, hence how I made the book. But writing was always one of those things that I was never any good at. I sucked at it in school and it wasn’t a hobby for me. I didn’t even write anything for myself until my previously mentioned grandeur story. And then I stopped that for two years because I got sick of it. And then and then I had the TWWWBAATTA dream and here I am now.

So it hasn’t changed me, but I definitely feel better about it. I still have a long long long ways to go before I’m anywhere near decent (not that I don’t like my writing now. I’m just new. And that’s okay)

The only thing that has changed about me is I wrote the word fuck for the first time. IRL I don’t really swear. Like. Ever. I’ve never even given anyone the finger. And the worst I say is shit or ass.

So writing swear words has been a fun little experiment.

97. Abstract or detailed romance scenes?

Both. Because neither is better than the other. I like abstract when I know a love scene isn’t needed. It just has to be implied. I grew up on YA so I was and am very used to it.

But I also love detailed and nitty gritty. I’m a smut lover so I don’t mind all the gorey details. Plus so many people have a talent for writing them so who am I to not indulge in their talents.

[missamyrisa2]

do you ever plan on doing longer form stories again? Intruder Prisoner Test Subject is like my favorite tickle story ever, I loved the little world you built in that. I loved the old Megan and Maggie adventures too! I would love to know what ever happened to them on that alien ship

~!!!

Okayyy~<33

I was already floored in blushies because I was like oooh my gosh someone remembers that 5-part pile of tickly nonsense I wrote all those years agooo~ and thennnn you brought up those realllllly old tales~?! mmmhh I'm just gonnaaaa~ squeeze you in a friendly hug and squish your cheeks and tickle your ribs for being soooo flippin sweeeet~!!

Okay, sooo~

Since I don't think any copies have survived (maybe even not in my archives eeeep~), the Megan and Maggie adventures stopped abruptly with the duo + the guy they had been torturing with tickle makeover experiments (he was a jerk and deserved it though!) + Megan's boss Brooke who is like this super powerful ancient entity in a human form who always wears cardigans all stuck on an alien ship.

Oh yeah, Megan and Maggie are like hyper evolved personifications of my tickler extremes at the time. Megan is the tall thin and stoic girl wearing business casual style who views tickling as an experiment to extract all the reactions from everyone and doesn't really recognize the erotic side of tickling outside of an additional factor to be considered. Also she's telekinetic - for reasons. Maggie is curvy and pleasingly plump in a flirty girly style, and a smartmouth who overwhelms her ticklees with sensual snuggly tickles and is endlessly amused at hotwiring a sensitive body into helpless wanting fluff.

Anywayyy~ Megan's latent powers were awakened as she was being tormented by a six armed muscular alien who had stripped her down to everything but her oversized waistbelt. Maggie had been repeatedly tickled to orgasm by alien clones of Megan but broke free. Brooke was missing in action since they were abducted. Chad was being edged to madness by matronly looking aliens with vibrating wands who had him on an exam table still wearing the girly miniskirt and cropped top the girls had put him.

The rest of the story, as best I can remember from what I had drafted out was something like~~

The group eventually finds one another and escapes the ship, only to find no one else as most people have also been abducted by these aliens, The Harvesters as they find out from some military official right before he's beamed away too. The race is extracting ticklegasms and tickle edges from humans for an unknown purpose. The group hides away in an old school and it becomes apparent the aliens specifically want them back. After many attempts including beaming down one of Megan's friends who desperately calls out for her outside the building before being sucked back up, the group plans to find an escape from the planet.

In the middle of all this Chad thinks Megan is coming on to her and he reveals he has a big crush now. She acknowledges him and the two have tickle sex but it turns out she really just wanted to get some new data. At the same time Brooke and Maggie have real romantic tickle sex. Then the harvesters break in and create a dome over themselves and Chad and start a ticklegasm procedure. Maggie is similarly sealed up and left to be sensually tickled to madness. Brooke and Megan fight valiantly with the latter using her newfound abilities to soar up into the ships and start destroying them.

And then there's more stuff like Brooke is this all powerful tickle deity there to observe but decides to take advantage of the weakened planet and augments her abilities with Megan's flower belt (yes that one ~ shut upppp) and unleashes an army of machinery to similarly take and use ticklish people for their energies. At which point I was going to introduce some new self insert sort of character who would fight the new dictator and blah blah blahhh~ I end up in all these supervillain style tickle situations of being interrogated and teased~

sooo yeah. I dunnoo~ I love the longer form but I also looove the flash fiction of dropping you right into the action with just a few details, it's like a way to disorient and tease just like a little extra tickle~<3 Thank youuuu soooo so much for remembering my old junk hehe~ it wasn't super well written but I have very fond memories of building those stories~<3

[simleez]

What is your history with Hee? Just so we have the full story

i SUPPOSEDLY, ALLEGEDLY started stanning heeseung when i started college, so literally right around when iland finished. I've been in kpop since 12 membered exo so I've been through many a survival show groups (cries in wanna one) so i thought enha was a short-term group hence why i avoided them but then my irl showed me their kpopprofiles and i deadass just picked heeseung because he was the oldest.

from that moment i was fucked.

so i went and rewatched all the island performances and the show after the fact and i grew hella attached to heeseung after the first ep bc of potassium being....i can't get into THAT but yah he became an emotional support bean during college years bc oof those were growing pains which is when you started seeing all the hee sets on my old blog BUT ANYWAY chamber 5 is what REALLLLLLY did it for me because even though he hated acting cute in that performance his voice in it was gorgeoussss and then i started staining enha more as a whole because idk they've never really felt like idols?

like they say things that are only funny to them, aren't necessarily concerned with being the funniest or being like these idols with certain images they are just. guys who do music. and i like that like i don't have to find them funny i don't have to think they are variety legends or belting notes like exo i just want them to be some dudes. ASDFEASDF

this was a long rant and for what BUT YES THAT'S THE LORE

[sarasa-cat]

Well, it's official, it is a full fledged vestibular migraine with visual and abdominal symptoms but very little headache (because my meds mask/kill that symptom dead).

That means one big NO to every website with:

- video of any kind (unless it is realllllly slow, steady, and panning shots only)

- stripes and radial stripes

- things pointing at me (like, for instance, a video game photo of a character with a gun pointed at the viewer)

- "broken" or "jagged" images -- idk, like, imagine broken glass or a torn up looking thing

- anything that is exceedingly 3D (lcomic book images that are really pushing 3 point perspective; this includes lots of video games btw)

So....

Yep.

I'll be on the old fashion web until this blows over (could be a few hours, could be a few days).

.

As for tumblr, I do have plug-ins on my laptop that STOP all video and, even, hide all images but no such option on my ipad or phone.

Will dip in and out in a safe manner but, lol, yeah, off to the old fashion websites that do not move. ;)

[theragethatisdesire]

Here’s an example of the method acting thing I do to get ideas.

I’m with my husband and our son at the archery range. While my husband is shooting his own bow, I’m giving our kid pointers on how to become more accurate with his own.

Then I go into writing idea mode and think:

“ok, I’m Eren. A single dad that coaches the kid’s archery league. There’s a sudden influx of moms attending practice. One mom pretends to be an archer herself just to get in a little more flirt time. It’s like I’m on an episode of The Bachelor with all these women vying for my attention. It’s ridiculous really but I mostly ignore it all while I’m teaching the kid’s league. The women think I’m being modest.

Most of them flirt shamelessly because I’m apparently a tall drink of water, glistening in the hot end of summer sun. They’re all, apparently, fucking parched.

Then there’s one in particular who asks if I can look at her “old” equipment after practice to see if it’s still usable. I don’t know what’s more humorous, this extremely high maintenance woman pretending to be outdoorsy or the fact that she dropped at least five thousand dollars on this brand new bow just to get me partially alone.

I feel like being humored so I’ll play along. See how long and how far she takes this facade. Divorcées like her only want one thing anyway and I’m happy to give it to her. Too bad she didn’t think to just ask.”

And then slap down some smut of them fucking in the woods or something. Boom, a little story is born. Nothing ever comes of these though because my debilitating ass perfectionism makes me spend waaay more time writing something this simple when it only takes me a few minutes to think it up.

If you need more examples, I’m an endless breadstick basket.

KJT thank you SO much for this!!! i actually am going to give it a try while i'm at work bc i REALLLLLLY want to write a chef!eren fic (trust me it doesn't sound tasty but it WILL BE)

this is amazing advice thank u truly from the bottom of my heart. it takes a village to get a writer out of a slump that's for sure!

[phdmama]

1, 2, 3?

Oooo thanks bud!! xox

who/what made you start questioning?

There were the obvious crushes on various actresses but I think I really *got* it when I was 16, doing summer stock theater in my home town, and there was a woman electrician who was an out lesbian (this was a realllllly long time ago so this was HUGE) and I was *fascinated* by her. She had a girlfriend so obvs nothing happened and I'm sure she was terribly amused because I was... let's say... not subtle in hindsight.

for gender, it's a more recent process. I mean, I've always known I had no internal sense of gender identity, I've never "felt like a woman" although being AFAB has obviously profoundly impact my life! That's a work in progress though!

2. how old were you when you started questioning?

Like I said, I think I knew much earlier, but I really faced it at 16 and it was so so hard. I was terrified. Like, I don't *think* my folks would have kicked me out? But at that point in history? I dunno. It sure didn't feel safe.

3. what other labels have you used other than your current ones?

basically, it's been bisexual since I put a label on it!! Because I look like a cis woman and I'm married to someone who looks like a cis man, I have a HUGE amount of safety which is why I've gotten louder and louder about it over the years. A young friend of my family messaged me once - she saw that I'd posted something on FB for pride and showed that message to her friend, and she told me that he cried when he saw it, because he didn't know queer people could survive and thrive and have wonderful lives. so it feels important to me.

gender gets a giant shrug for me at the moment!

gay asks!