#i remember there was a fandom for this band and my ass was in it of course

[lexithwrites]

some headcanons for the ladies of the fandom, and no this isn't gonna follow canon, they're all a little gay at the least, so cry about it x

dorlene,,my loves, i feel like they met at a gig honestly, marlene is very tomboy/grunge and loves going by herself to bars and pubs where some local band is playing and she's a bit awkward on her own but once she has a drink and sees a pretty girl she's a lot more chill and confident

then she meets dorcas and she's fucked, so so fucked

dorcas is my goth queen, long black dress, buckled harness across her chest, sharp black nails, dark makeup and so much jewellery and marlene cant stop staring at her

she didnt think she liked goth chicks that much but FUCK this woman is a goddess, and shes tall,,,marlene is a sucker for taller women

shes so nervous trying to chat her up because dorcas' voice is like velvet, its so soothing and melodic and marlene thinks she might orgasm just from talking to her, and dorcas TOUCHES when she talks to you she's touching her arm and running a hand down her back and telling marlene she looks hot and marlene is so red

but they do exchange numbers and talk for days before marlene finally has the guts to ask her out and dorcas takes her to this restaurant and honestly they spend the entire night together walking around and talking and they go to marlene's and do makeout but nothing further, dorcas is also my demi queen and marlene is probably shaking with nerves lmao

also i feel like when marlene introduces her to the group they're all starstruck by dorcas too, dorcas is like the hottest woman they've all seen and dont know how marlene's nerdy ass pulled her but are so proud and happy

plus dorcas is the sweetest most gentle woman, she's so caring and attentive and pays so much attention to what someones saying to her, she remembers everything

also her and lily? besties, they're both into the same shows and they're both book lovers and talk for ages about fanfiction hehe

speaking of, my girl lily, she's basically walked out of the 70's and i love her for it

all flares and tie dye shirts, long, bright red hair and crazy bright makeup, her favourite colour is yellow and she loves flowers and summer and UGH okay

she loves 70's rock too, i feel like she kinda hides it a little but her and sirius bond over it very quickly

her entire apartment is very boho and there's lots of incense and candles and yes, shes a stoner, shes cool

very bisexual but basically only wants to date women as her experience with men (past a fling with james when they were teenagers) has been bad so she goes on a lot of dates with women to try something new and they didnt really work out past a few dates but she's hopeful

then one night she's getting drunk and a lil high with mary and she realises how pretty mary is, how soft her skin is, how fluffy her hair looks and suddenly they're really close and woah her lips are so plump and taste like strawberry wtf

i feel like her and mary hooked up once and got so nervous that they ruined their friendship that they didnt talk for a week until remus begged them too because he hates his two closest friends not speaking

when they do talk mary tells lily that she's had the biggest crush on her for so long but she didnt know how to say anything because lily had dated other people in that time and lily just feels her heart sore because oh,,,oh

mary is the sweetest girl, okay, she's precious and honestly its because of trauma and just her resilience to it thats kept her so loving and sweet, she deserves a fiery girlfriend like lily

mary has a big family and i'll stand by that, she has like four brothers and three sisters and she's the third eldest so she's taken care of them a lot too

she loves taking lily to her families home and introducing them to her girlfriend and honestly? they adore lily

she's cool and feisty and funny and she clearly makes mary very happy, but her older sisters do have a protective talk with her but they love her, they know she wouldn't hurt her

i feel like mary is a theatre girl too, she loves acting and directing and learning about sound and costume design, she's defo in the universty theatre department and lily is always coming in with a coffee and some lunch incase she forgets to eat, plus it makes mary blush when lily comes in because everyone stares at her

also in the theatre department is none other than xenophilius, a shy, whimsy guy who is dating probably the scariest yet coolest woman ever, miss pandora rosier

her and her brother were always into acting growing up and loved being in plays together, so they're defo in the department too

i feel like pandora loves making costumes and does the makeup for shows she isn't in and evan is a big sound design guy, so they're always backstage together as well as onstage

pandora is whismy goth, her and dorcas bonded over that when they first met in freshers, and she always smells of flowers and cigarettes from her brother

she also wears the TALLEST shoes ever because she's short, i love short panda

and xeno is the tallest lankiest mother fucker okay he's like barty height and so skinny, and he has a shock of white hair and heterochromia eyes and fiddles with his fingers a lot and pandora thinks he's adorable

they talk about true crime together and she reads his palm a lot and he does her tarot reading and its a beautiful, soft, loving relationship

but i feel like they're also a lil freaky,,,maybe some knife play here and there who knows, pandora is a wild card

her and dorcas became friends with the other girls through marlene and after that they're all insperable

they go shopping, smoke weed, hang out in the rosier's pool during the summer, its great

and marlene is the only driver so she takes them to the beach and down to brighton for the weekend so they can go to the gay bars together, its just great

i love my ladies, i hope this meal was filling

[glamgoths]

drops these doodles i forgot to post of a very niche Disneyland Alice in Wonderland themed band i was obsessed with when i was 13

i was feeling nostalgic and was looking back at photos of them and did some quick studies

[foone]

weird thought: I think if I was a teenager now (or anytime in the last decade or so) I think I would have written (and read!) a lot more fanfic than I did in reality, where I was a teenager in the 90s.

See, I've never been hugely into fanfic. Never had anything against it exactly, but it just wasn't something I was into. But I think that has to do with an interesting combination of how my brain works and what time I was first really getting into being a fan.

I've got a "librarian" brain (I'm literally typing this from within a library, WHERE I WORK). It wants to know things like "what are all the works in this series/by this creator?" and "are they all accessible?" and "what info is available about how it was made?"

I'm the kind of person who will watch a show then go look it up on wikipedia to see how many seasons it has, who made it, if they're still making it, check tvtropes for any more info, etc. Or I hear a song I like by a band I've never heard of, so I go listen to their entire discography while researching them. I just focus on things I'm into that way, you know? I don't half-ass my interest. (this is probably related to my autism, of course)

So what does this have to do with fanfic? like, do I go read some fanfics as part of this process? No, and I think the reason for it is when I specifically first got into fandom, as a teen.

See, this sort of fandom-librarian was harder to do in 1997, you know? You couldn't just pull up the wikipedia for that new show and see how many episodes it had. You also couldn't just listen to the whole discography of that band! Forget Spotify or Google Music, even Napster didn't exist yet.

So my interest in fandom focused a lot more on very basic questions: How many episodes/albums/books/whatever are there? Where can I see/hear them all? Like, I remember getting excited because I found some fan magazine that had a list of all the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. Just a list! Not even descriptions or anything. I finally could take that list and see how many I'd seen, so I'd know when I saw them all in late-night reruns.

So I'm focusing on these very basic parts of being a fandom-librarian and I stumble across some fanfic. I'm like "oh, is this a transcript of an episode I haven't seen yet?" and I realize it's not, it's a story written by a fan, and I get a knee-jerk reaction of "that's not helpful to my quest to know and find all the episodes". It's like I am on a quest for the holy grail and I found a fake cup. It's not helpful to me, and at worst it's a distraction from my goal.

And the thing is, I think the fact I had that reaction is entirely due to the time and situation in which I first encountered fanfic. It was in that environment of "I can't even find a list of the episodes, let alone a way to watch them all!" and that anxiety that colored my response to finding fanfic.

I think if I instead was first introduced to fanfic NOW, where those fandom-librarian drives aren't so difficult to fulfill, I'd be way more positive about fanfic. If I could get a list of episodes with a quick google search, and watch them easily on netflix/prime/whatever, I'd be less "THIS DOESN'T HELP! I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE BASICS HERE!" and more "yay, more content for the fandom I'm obsessed with!"

Like I said, I'm not anti-fanfic, I never have been, I just never got into it. From the beginning I had this reaction that was "this is not useful" and I never developed any real interest in it. Which is a shame, honestly. Fanfic is great. It just never became one of my interests, and while I've written it and read it from time to time, I imagine I'd be way more into it if I didn't have the weird reaction to it due to the worries of the time in which I first encountered it.

I don't know how many other people have brains that work anything like mine, but if they exist, I'm glad they're now growing up in a world where they won't have these problems. They can get into fanfic without this weird baggage caused by a lack of information.

[nymph-ette111]

pls write Simon henriksson headcanons I’m gnawing at the walls of my enclosure 👩‍🦲

WARNINGS; SUBSTANCE ABUSE (SMOKING/DRUGS) MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS (DEPRESSION/ANXIETY) MENTIONS OF INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY, UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS (SELF-HARM)

AUTHOR'S NOTE; FIRST CRY OF FEAR REQUEST LET'S FUCKING GOOOO !1!1!1!1!1!!1!! kind of short, still new to the fandom so my headcanons of the characters might change overtime.

-it was confirmed that Simon is a fan of heavy metal and DSBM :3 personally I am not an avid listener of this genre, I think it's pretty cool. I'd like to headcanon specific bands that I think are suiting for Simon but I barely know anything so I don't really have a say on this.

-probably has some sort of internalized misogyny. he grew up all alone, his mother being quite overprotective didn't help with that at all and seeing no mentions of his father in the game makes me think his parents were divorced quite early in Simon's life. being exposed to such settings at a young age might have messed with his perception of love and healthy romantic relationships. despite that, he doesn't care much about gender norms now that he's older. left that mindset long ago.

-picked up on his coping mechanisms in his early teens. he was a bit scared at first of trying something like self-harm, it took him him a lot of time and internal conflict but then decided to just fuck it, he had nothing to lose. felt guilty at first, dropped it for a bit and then picked up on it again. he knows it isn't a healthy way to deal and cope with his negative thoughts but he couldn't care less at that point.

-isn't unfamiliar with drugs but not that crazy about it. not as much as cigarettes, although he does it occasionally, he could still smoke like a pack in one sitting if the situation really called for it. usually just sticks to 2-3 cigs, thinks it's a good enough amount.

^ can you tell I have no idea what I'm talking about.

-you'll never get that crusty ass grey hoodie of his off of him. it's like a cartoon where the character's never change outfit throughout the entire show. besides the fact that it's a literal video game, even in his daily life he almost never switches things up. not necessarily dirty, just worn out and stained with stuff that doesn't want to come off no matter how many times he washes it.

-has a mini fridge full of energy drinks in his room. and by full I mean like two cans because the rest have been consumed and thrown somewhere onto the ground.

-cannot save money for the life of him. as soon as he gets his hands on some cash, it's immediately spent on either a pack of cigarettes or some useless shit. he doesn't even remember what he spends it on, it's just gone.

-hadn't picked up his camera in quite a while, he's slowly loosing grip on his interests. not necessarily because he is starting to dislike them, just doesn't have the motivation.

-but it's usually full of recordings of him on the train, lonely streets of Stockholm or some stray cat that has grown a liking to Simon for some odd reason.

-one time Sophie took his camera without telling him and recorded a small video of herself, just doing something simple like a peace sign or showing off a little doodle she drew in her notebook. despite trying his best to move on, he watches that video from time to time.

[baileypie-writes]

I'm sorry for all the asks for family requests but can you please do some of Velvet and Veneer protecting their preteen sister? Maybe from a bully?

A/N ~ Sure! And don’t worry, I don’t mind the requests:) Hope you enjoy!

And remember: if you’re being bullied, please tell someone. I promise you, somebody cares. In fact, I’m one of those somebodys.

~You’re Safe Now~

Velvet and Veneer + Preteen!Sister!Reader

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Familial

Synopsis: You’re being bullied, but thankfully, this time your sibling save you.

Warnings: Reader getting bullied(verbal and mentions of it being physical), minor violence, swearing, Reader crying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You let out a sigh of relief when you finally heard the school bell ring. Grabbing your backpack, you rushed out of the classroom. Your eyes darted around the halls as you made your way towards the front doors of the school.

When you were outside, you booked it to the side of the building. After confirming that you were alone, you finally let yourself calm down.

You can’t remember the last time you were able to peacefully make it through a school day. Each time, this group of boys would come and harass you. The’d say every insult under the sun, making fun of you for the smallest things. Things that you couldn’t control, like your looks.

You thought that telling your teacher would make it stop. You were unfortunately very wrong. After they got punished, that’s when the beatings started. You no longer felt safe at school, and you’re worried that they’ll follow you home one day.

Thankfully though, your siblings, Velvet and Veneer, were picking you up today. You haven’t seen them in a while, so they were going to take you out to eat and have fun. You were so excited, that you’d forgotten about your bullies. But all the memories came back once you saw them turn the corner.

Oh shit.

“There you are. We’ve been looking all over for you!” The leader, Jackson, called to you. His four other friends trailed behind him. You swear you’d rather have the devil himself appear in front of you than having to deal with these son of a bitches.

“What do you want?” You asked, trying to hide the fear in your voice. You failed miserably.

“Watch your tone, bitch.” Jackson pushed you, making you fall onto your back. You hit your head on the hard concrete, and you felt tears start to well up in your eyes. But you sucked them back in.

“My siblings will be here any second, so you better leave!” You yelled back at them. You were hoping that that’d scare them off, but that thought was shattered when you heard the boys snicker.

“Please, if they’re anything like you, we can beat both their asses no problem.” He grabbed you by your shirt, lifting your upper body off the ground. “Speaking of which…”

Jackson raised his fist, and you braced yourself for impact. You were already thinking of excuses to tell your parents. Maybe you should tell them you fell again. Or maybe that you got hit with a ball at P.E.

A loud honk snapped you out of your thoughts. You opened your eyes that were previously squeezed shut. All the boys’s attention were focused on a car that had just turned the corner towards the school. It was Velvet and Veneer’s car. If you weren’t being held, you’d probably jump for joy. You never thought you’d be so happy to see them in your life.

The car screeched to a stop, and your siblings hopped out of it. You’d never seen them so mad.

“Whoa. You guys are, like, those famous pop stars right?” One of the boys asked.

They didn’t respond. Their focus was solely on Jackson.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing to our sister?” Velvet asked. More like demanded.

Jackson let go of your shirt, making you fall back onto the concrete, and hit your head again. You let out a yelp of pain. The moment it fell from your lips, Veneer rushed over to you, leaving the yelling to Velvet.

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking more concerned than you’ve ever seen before.

“Yeah.” You said, barely audible. You looked back over to Velvet. She had her phone out, and a flash came from it.

“I just took your picture. If you ever do anything to (name) again, I’m posting this on all my social media accounts. Your asses will be finished.” She had the boys backed up against the wall. All of them looked ready to piss themselves. The moment she stepped back, they bolted away so fast, you swore you saw a cloud of dust form behind them.

Velvet scoffed, and looked over to you. You could tell she was trying to hide her concern, but she wasn’t doing a very good job. Veneer helped you to your feet.

“What was that? Are they bullies?” He asked. You just nodded. “How long has this been going on?”

You didn’t respond. You were so overwhelmed, that you began to uncontrollably sob. Your siblings were surprised by your sudden burst of emotion, but after a moment, Veneer gave you a gentle hug. Velvet, not knowing how to comfort people, just placed a hand on your back. They both let you cry it out.

~~~~

After the whole event, Velvet and Veneer took you out to eat at your favorite restaurant.

You ate your food slowly, being tired from all the stress and crying. Across the table, Veneer was trying to gather enough courage to bring up the whole bullying thing. Velvet, tired of waiting, spoke up for him.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” She sounded really upset.

“I tried telling people already. That just made them start hurting me.” You said, avoiding eye contact.

Veneer decided to speak as well, now that the subject was brought up. “But we’re your family. We can help you!”

“Look, I’m sorry okay? I was just so scared at what they would do next!” You raised your voice, making them jump a little.

“How bad was it?” Veneer asked after a moment of silence. You looked so traumatized, he almost didn’t want to know.

“They… beat me up a lot. And they make fun of me. I don’t feel safe at school.” Veneer felt his heart break for you. That’s when the anger caught up to him.

He turned to Velvet. “I want you to post those pictures.” His tone genuinely scared you.

“Oh, I already did.” She said, expression unchanging. Veneer gave her an almost menacing smile, and turned back to you. He placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry sis, you’re safe now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[queers-gambit]

Hello my lovely, it’s me your babygirl. Remember me? 🥰🥰

I know you’re busy working on fics rn so take as much time as you want to answer!

I’ve got a very important question regarding Felix that I’d love your opinion on it & share my thoughts with you! 

*quickly runs to give you the biggest hug & spin you in my arms* 😘

So…. What do we think a Felix x reader wedding would look like at Saltburn? A grand extravaganza with a million guests or an intimate ceremony with just the Cattons?

Obviously they take every opportunity to throw a party at Saltburn so a wedding is the ultimate bash in the eyes of the Cattons. 

Or would Felix just decide to change it entirely and just want it to be a tiny intimate thing since he wants this to feel quiet and special. And then maybe some big party another day to the delight of Elspeth and sir James.  

For Felix he’s so laid back and in love all he cares about is his girl and what will make her happy. They are so young and in love i wouldn’t be surprised if he proposed on a lazy Sunday morning or a day reading naked in the field, just because he was so blissfully happy he knew there was nobody he’d rather spend these kind of days with for the rest of his life. 

Side notes: Venetia would be maid of honor right? I see Elspeth as the mother in law that makes herself heavenly involved with planning and gives her brutally honest opinion picking out the dress 😅 I can even picture stoic Duncan trying to hold back tears while he’s holding a tissue box to Elspeth or sir James while they read their vows. 

…

Sorry for the endless ranging but I’m aching to know your thoughts and see if you’ve thought about this too!!

of course i remember you, baby girl! welcome back!

i needed a break from writing, so thank you for sending this, my darling! it's always good to refresh the pallet, and this ask really got me thinking!

let's get into it!

kinda-sorta wedding AU HC's

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 1.4k+

warnings: suspiciously none

so your question all depends on the Reader, but i'll try to answer best i can.

the Saltburn wedding is definitely a huge, extravagant ordeal. the Cattons are well connected, so, it wouldn't just be Felix and Reader's peers attending, but ALL family from both sides, as well as family friends, too. Reader's family is invited to Saltburn a week before matrimony; where they try to help, but the Cattons have hired 3 different wedding planners to make this the most talked-about event in any social circles.

every room in Saltburn is cleaned and decorated. an abundance of flowers are shipped in to be hung from the ceilings and bannisters. there's BOTH a live band and a DJ, an erected outdoor dance floor.

now, i can see two different things: 1. Felix and Reader marry in the local church and then the reception is hosted at Saltburn. 2. they marry on Saltburn's property and still have the big ass reception on the grounds.

either way, it's most def a summer wedding to utilize optimal weather. it's a reason to wear the best clothes, drink expensive liquor excessively, and indulge in gluttony. it's a night designed to make attendants jealous.

there's well over 300 people, Sir James and Elspeth combing through their address books to send invites even to family friends they haven't spoken to in years. they're the kind of parents that take advantage of their child getting married; it's the best excuse to show off and have a grand celebration, to prove the family doesn't do anything half-assed. if they can throw extravagant parties just for the hell of it, they definitely feel pressure to out-do themselves.

it's like this wedding isn't *for* Felix and Reader, but more so for the Cattons to show up and show out. it's not about a union of two people, but an excuse to gloat and smash their privilege in everyone's face.

Felix eats it up 'cause it's all he knows, the spoilt rich boy, but Reader's a little uncomfortable with the sheer size and details of her wedding. but in the same breath, she's relaxed because she KNOWS this is just how the Cattons operate and she doesn't really have to lift a single finger.

so, Reader lets Elspeth plan her ideal wedding - 'cause there's no way she's not involved. they make some decisions together, it's a bonding experience for Reader and her soon-to-be MIL, but for the most part, it's the matriarch doing most of the heavy lifting.

Felix and Reader only get to decide on wedding colors, catering options, and the cake. and even then, they have to endure his family's opinions.

Reader doesn't even get to 100% choose her dress, hair, and make up. Elspeth basically decides everything. i agree with you and think Mrs. Catton would impose herself even on the wedding dress selection, becoming persnickety, opinionated, and a little snarky when Reader shows off her dresses. this causes tension with Reader's family, who think the older woman far too self-important, and maybe it's Reader's mother or sister that stands up to her and insists Elspeth keep quiet since this *isn't* her wedding and they don't want any influences on Reader. they want Reader to choose her perfect wedding dress without scrutiny since she has no say in anything else.

in fact, maybe - juuuuuust maybe - Reader's family takes her to shop for a wedding dress without Elspeth in an effort to dial down the stress. it's not meant maliciously, but Elspeth simply cannot help herself and takes over everything; so, Reader's family figures if she's not there, Reader can make a decision *for herself*.

when Elspeth finds out, she's hurt, but it's Sir James that calms his wife down by reminding her that she had something not-so-nice to say about damn near every single dress Reader tries on. so, she accepts this one detail being out of her control.

the entire wedding screams "old money" because half of the decorations and details are wildly redundant, but there's no such thing as cost to the family. Elspeth is def living vicariously because she thinks she knows best, so she spares no expense - perhaps even going as far as to rent exotic peacocks to roam the grounds simply because the Cattons can!

they're definitely going "Crazy Rich Asians" in the sense that Felix's marriage is going to be the event of the decade, like Collin and Araminta's wedding. again, it's not even about the union but just a chance for the Cattons to remind everyone that they were lesser-than. Felix thinks it's normal, he thinks this is how it's supposed to be 'cause he's def removed from reality, and truth be told, he loves the attention. the bragging rights.

Felix might be a bit more reserved than his family, but he's still a Catton and glamour is *all* he knows, especially for an event like this. he doesn't stand up to his parents because they're paying for everything, which makes him feels as if he's not entitled to an opinion. so, he lets Sir James and Elspeth plan the wedding they want since all Felix has to do is show up. he'll do his best to alleviate stress, acting as a buffer between his betrothed and parents, but he doesn't dare open his mouth.

this is marketed as a once in a lifetime celebration, so nobody is willing to butt heads with Sir and Mrs. Catton.

on that note, yeah, i can see Felix having an intimate proposal. maybe in the field at sunset, maybe at a cafe in town, but not in bed. he's got a flare for the dramatic, so odds are, he's actually down on one knee. he's young, so he doesn't need to make a huge ordeal for the proposal since it's an incredibly intimate moment. he might even proposal on a whim / impulsively. he's had a ring for months, planning the best moment to ask Reader, but he gets anxious and one day, it just happens. it feels right. Felix has that burning feeling that he needs to ask now else he'll fuck up his plan in the future by being so nervous. so, yeah, he just asks one day - barely even thinks about it! he just knows Reader is who he wants, so why plan the "perfect moment" when an opportunity organically presents itself?

now, Venetia can be a bridesmaid, but she's not MOH. again, depends on the reader, but i imagine Reader's sister or her own best friend should be MOH. Reader wants Ven involved in everything, but no, she's not gonna be the one standing next to Reader when she gets married. Ven helps decide bridesmaid dresses, works with Reader's sister and / or best friend to plan the bachelorette party, and is present for any conflict between Reader and Elspeth. she's sorta like a tie breaker because Felix is on Reader's side and Sir James is on Elspeth's. Ven is the one who helps keep Elspeth under control, the only one bold enough to stand up to her mother without fear of repercussions. she sees how Reader is struggling to both have the wedding of her dreams and respect for her MIL, so, Ven imposes herself to give Reader a break. to be the voice Reader lost.

and just because it's fun, YES, Duncan is def in attendance, handing the Cattons and Reader's family tissues during the emotional moments of the wedding. he eats two slices of cake. and for the fuck of it, you bet your ass Duncan lets loose a little and Cabbage Patches on the dance floor.

i think it's nice to imagine Felix being all cute and intimate, but personally, i think he's so far deep in his family's way of living to truly be humble. sure, Reader anchors him to reality, but he still lives this extravagant life so he doesn't know the definition of "humble". but that's why i said, it depends on your reader - but in my opinion, Felix is a little too spoilt to have the forethought to marry privately. or maybe he knows it's a fight not worth having with his parents, that no matter what, they're going to do what they want.

so maybe Felix is the one encouraging Reader to just "go with the flow" because resisting is futile. perhaps Reader comes around to the idea of a grand wedding because she knows she'd never have this sort of experience with anyone else; so, why not bask in it?

ah, i love these. they're so much fun! thank you for sending in, baby girl! all my love 🖤

[gauloiseblue]

Gauloiseblue's Bookmarks

A/N: Since there's no bookmark system like they had in AO3, I decide to make one on this site. Will update the list from time to time.

COD

Price

[The True Me] by @i-am-hungry-24-7 Useless by @syoddeye Lazy Saturday Mornings by @clementine-thedestroyer Price and Beauty Mark by @ohmygraves Growing older with john price. by @obsessivelullabies Growing older with john price; smut. by @obsessivelullabies Ex-husband price, but the “ex” lays on significantly blurred lines now. by @captainfern Ex Husband!Price by @moongreenlight (A/N: you have NO idea what this fic had done to me) The boys all collectively realize that you are the captain’s favourite by @dante-mightdie weird HC by @theycalledhimastar

Gaz

lavender skies by @yeyinde (A/N: Gaz girlie, please read this I'm begging-) I may love Kyle, but I can totally admit when he acts like a total weirdo (he doesn’t, he’s perfect). by @theycalledhimastar

König

Ex-Lover Konig with runaway reader by @diejager Dog Hybrid König by @comfortless Hades!Konig and Persephone!reader by @comfortless Aroura Borealis by @clementine-thedestroyer Underground Fighter!König X Rich!Reader by @melancholic-thing

Soap

Rugby player soap fucks you after a win by @vanderilnde Pushy ass cbf!johnny and benefit pay by @shotmrmiller Valentine Days with Soap by @killerpancakeburger cbf!johnny as the dog he is by @ghouljams

Ghost

soulmate au with ghost but it's the fucking opposite of rainbows and sunshine by @bi-writes

Poly/HC

Fancy (Vampire! Poly! 141 x Plus size! Fem! Reader) by @swordsandholly 141 80’s Arcade AU by @clementine-thedestroyer TF141 and "can I try your drink?" By @syoddeye (A/N: don't @ me) 141 when they need attention by @void-my-warranty TF141 when you gave him hickey when you're drunk by @gloomwitchwrites

The Arcana

Asra's Love by @bahrtofane Teen Asra and puppy love headcanons by @smoke-and-silver Trip adventures with Asra by @smoke-and-silver Arcana and Weddings (fanarts) by @bastart13

Random/Miscellaneous

A/N: I put all of the Ghost Band stuff here bc I'm not officially into the fandom, but they're so irresistible to read hnggg

THEN // if (then) FINAL PART (Ghoap Comic) Roach's puppy eyes Korangi pt. 1 Korangi pt .2 Korangi (sus) pt. 3 Korangi (even more sus) pt. 4 Ghoap food pt. 1 👍👍 Self-care (Ghoap short comic) Capt Price having a cheeky wank (audio) Barry Sloane thirst trap (maybe) Bare chested Barry- Barry ugly ass poems (i'm horny) Barry Sloane seducing clip ASMR Barry talking ASMR Barry (Price) pt. 2 The band Ghost wildin' Ghost band shenanigan: part 1 The Ghouls + Rut Season (HC) Swiss meets red velvet ‘you’ve got to press it on you.’ (Ghost Band HC) Nameless Ghoul NSFW headcanons Swiss relationship and NSFW headcanons .... yeah I'm normal I swear St. Vincent *heart eyes* Miyazaki's Retirement Declarations (chronologically) Hayao Miyazaki's "Inspirational" Quotes The Hand

Web Weave | Poetry

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe] - Lyudmilla Ignatenko, the wife of deceased firefighter Vasily Ignatenko, Voices from Chernobyl, by Svetlana Alexeivich (transl. Keith Gessen) Robin Wood, “Psychoanalysis of Psycho” | Stoker (2013) dir. Park Chan-wook Stoker (2013) dir. Park Chan-wook and "The Lady of the House of Love" by Angela Carter This Is Me (Stoker 2013) Rice Paddies Home (What Is Home?) Whenever I see you, I remember AM I MAKING YOU FEEL SICK? // DEVOTION THAT EATS YOU ALIVE

[lunarriviera]

the huo daofu round-up post i have been threatening for a really long time now

Thinking about this man, I was just admitting to chat "honestly cannot believe how much life energy i have invested in such a minor character" but the truth of the matter is, I was mildly obsessed with Huo Daofu from Reboot alone; his odd unresolved backstory in Sha Hai just cemented my mental formation. Because let's be real, in a world of overly earnest tomb raiders, this man is a goddamn catty delight. The dainty bitterness! The barely concealed eye-rolling! So many impeccable That Bitch vibes. And his unimpressed snark is honestly such a refreshing antidote to Wu Xie's whole everyone-loves-him Marty Sue thing that even when you discover Huo Daofu secretly ALSO loves him, you don't mind, because by that point Dr. Youtiao is a savage queen who can do no wrong.

And He Longlong clearly made this guy up. In the novels he's just sort of a vaguely beardy guy who drives a truck, that's literally all I remember him ever doing. But someone cast this man, and they gave him some rubber bands and pizza coupons and chewed gum of a script to work with, and he promptly decided: I will make him extremely gay. And staggeringly bitchy. AND IT WORKS. He devours every frame he's in, he steals every scene. It's a performance worthy of Alan Rickman and yes I will die upon this hill.

We all know the bitchy-ex-boyfriend scenes in Reboot—"oh my god I literally can't wait for you to perish from lungs" and then Huo Daofu spends like every moment trying to keep Wu Xie alive, sheltering him uselessly from the rain with his hand, rubbing his back when he coughs, looking (when no one's watching but the camera) like he's maybe going to stop breathing himself, when Wu Xie does.

Apparently Huo Daofu's name sounds very silly in Chinese which I think is appropriate for someone who apparently (?) grew up in Germany (?) and went to the University of Heidelberg (?) (honestly don't waste time trying to figure out DMBJ canon, NPSS has thoughtfully ensured that will only be exhausting and futile). Spurious medical qualifications aside, he's super handy in fanfic, too, when you need a sketchy doctor, as all tomb-raiding mob families invariably do.

[someone once pointed out to me that this combination of degree topics basically translates into "how to dispose of bodies"]

I could also hold forth on him and Yang Hao—like, Su Wan alone makes it REAL clear that Huo Daofu's interest in the kid isn't just avuncular or entrepreneurial:

"Are you working for him, or are you working for him?" And Su Wan should be protective, because Yang Hao is honestly kind of an idiot, and probably doesn't realize he's being assiduously groomed not just as a mob boss but as a potential boy toy. (NB by the way that there are 44 fics in the Huo Daofu/Yang Hao tag, and disappointingly, not a single one of them is in English. Western fandom needs Jesus.)

But the thing is, Huo Daofu SAVES his ass in Gutongjing. Everyone forgets that. There's easily half a dozen times where he grabs Yang Hao's shoulder and hauls him back from danger. And Huo Daofu is the one Jiumen member smart enough to get out ahead of disaster, and to take Yang Hao with him. Here he is looking fabulous in a completely unnecessary but dramatic scarf.

And, at the end, he lets Yang Hao go. Because he's secretly decent.

Sure, he has some vaguely sketchy take-over-the-Huos plans, plans that clearly go awry at some point no matter how dramatically and villainously he makes tea. Sure, he exudes a scurrilous sort of evil. But he's COMPELLING and that's all I care about. Look at his pretty little face here, sourly plotting things, in a windowpane-checked suit which should be ridiculous but just winds up looking snazzy as fuck compared to the rest of the Jiumen. This is a man who understands the value of a pocket square. Thank you so much, He Longlong, we didn't deserve you putting your entire snatch into this very minor performance but some of us are extremely grateful.

So here are seven ficrecs, with a podfic and a meta from AO3. Please let me know if I should add anything (Tumblr meta?)—this post WILL be updated, because I have too much time on my hands and care unreasonably about the mean-spirited little bastard.

‡

Remember how this used to be (3569 words) by achray Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Missing Scene, Angst, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Background Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie being a gremlin, Canon-typical references to illness Summary:

“That wasn’t a no,” Wu Xie said, his smile widening. “I thought you still wanted me.”

Notes: How is this both hot and sad? I don't know, that's the magic of fanfiction. This was the first Wu Xie/Huo Daofu fic I ever read and frankly the genre needs more entries, but this is a good one.

‡

the rime dictionary of Wu Xie (7433 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling, Wang Pangzi/Ye Piaopiao, Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Ye Piaopiao, Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Xiao Mei, Wu Erbai, Li Jiale (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Piaopiao lives, Post-Canon, Canon Flashbacks, canonical illness, fun with the common cold, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Handwaved SI Recovery, Canon-typical Ershu Infodump, Quasi-History-Compliant, Yuletide Treat Summary:

This is why (even now) Wu Xie shouldn’t be let out alone—one trip out to the provinces, and he comes home with a bad cold and an unsolved mystery.

Notes: this is one of my very favorite Huo Daofu writers and here's why—read this little excerpt. The angst. The PAIN. Wu Xie absolutely broke this man's heart at some point and honestly Huo Daofu is really only himself if he's suffering, love that for him:

“Easy,” he said, when Wu Xie couldn’t seem to stop coughing. “Here—” and reached for the rest of the tea, except that it wasn’t on the table any longer.

Zhang Qiling was holding the mug; he had somehow gone around to the other side of the bed, moving in that flowing now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t way that never seemed quite human, to sit down cross-legged on the bed by Wu Xie so that their shoulders touched. Huo Daofu snatched his hand away from Wu Xie’s back as if an electrical current might flow through the double contact.

“Wu Xie,” Zhang Qiling said, and then something else so quiet it was inaudible, holding the tea so Wu Xie could drink.

Looking at the open tenderness on that remote, beautiful face, utterly focused on Wu Xie, made Huo Daofu feel as if his flesh was trying to part ways with his bones. It was a pain his medical texts didn’t have a word for, deeper and more primitive than jealousy or resentment.

Wu Xie, getting his breath back, looked sideways at him with one of those sudden grins. “Sorry, Xiao Huo. You’re still out of luck when it comes to watching me die. Maybe next time.”

Huo Daofu’s voice would not quite leave his throat. Instead, Xiao Mei said crossly “Tianzhen-shu, that’s dumb.” Most of her attention was still on her phone screen. “Why would Dr. Huo want to watch you die.”

Wu Xie looked at him, still smiling.

“It’s a long story,” said Huo Daofu, “and it doesn’t matter now.”

‡

even through hesitation (10407 words) by naiwong_bao Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Hei Xia Zi/Huo Xiuxiu/Xie Yuchen Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Huo Xiuxiu, Yang Hao (DMBJ Series), Hei Xia Zi (DMBJ Series), Xie Yuchen, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi Additional Tags: Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Character Study, Alternate Universe - Fantasy Series: Part 3 of this is where we live Summary:

He’s a boy so Huo Daofu knows from the beginning that there are no expectations for him, he can do as he likes. So he plays, he cries, he does what children do.

Then his parents die.

No one wants him, no one has time for him, so his family sends him to Germany for school. It’ll be a good opportunity, his family says. He can do whatever he wants, be free of the family business, they’ll take care of him over there. He doesn’t want to go, he doesn't know who they are, but he doesn’t get a say.

So he goes to Germany where the language is strange, the food is strange, the people are strange, and he wants to go home so badly that his teeth ache.

Huo Daofu builds a life for himself, but at the first sign of trouble, years and years and years later, he rents out his apartment to an acquaintance, and flies home.

But.

The language is strange, he doesn’t know the slang, the food is strange, the people are strange.

His family is cold and he still doesn’t get a say. --- Huo Daofu between the end of Tomb of the Sea and when he reappears in Reboot. AKA Huo Daofu learns to care a little.

‡

The Mark of a Man (2279 words) by JhanaMay Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Yang Hao (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Loneliness, Found Family even when it makes you want to scream, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Huo Daofu is a mediocre role model Series: Part 8 of The Art of Conversation, Part 7 of The Art of Conversation Side Stories Summary:

When Huo Daofu inducted Yang Hao into the Huo family business, he wasn't expecting to become the boy's de facto babysitter.

Notes: a poignant little vignette in which Huo Daofu has a heart.

‡

[META] Huo Daofu's Youtiao Stand (739 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei, 沙海 | Tomb of the Sea (TV), 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu & Huo Xiuxiu, Huo Daofu & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series) Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series) Additional Tags: Meta, Worldbuilding, Huo Daofu's Delicious Fried Snacks Series: Part 2 of DMBJ Meta Summary:

Huo Daofu is a supporting character in Sand Sea. Ambitious, wily, hungry, he’s far from one of the main villains of the story but he’s not nice, either. By the end of Sand Sea Huo Daofu has exploited the chaos caused by the ill-founded expedition to Gutongjing to take over various of the Huo Family operations.

When he appears in Reboot: Sound of Providence, he is a purveyor of delicious fried bread snacks. He’s clearly not hurting for money, so why…?

Notes: this is one of my favorite little HDF explorations, theorizing that Huo Xiuxiu busted him down a rank, and I think that's beautiful.

‡

starting in darkness, like a pure line of light (10167 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, meta-adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Some emotional loose ends are never going to be tied up, but at least they can be recognized and shared. Or, a selection of the worst best only ways to comfort one another in the aftermath.

Notes: absolutely nothing makes me, a Huo Daofu stan, happier than scherzanda's fics featuring him. You would think this is an odd pairing, but it's really not—the two people who love Wu Xie most and are left behind by him? They have so much in common. Also, this fic has a podfic!

[PODFIC] starting in darkness, like a pure line of light, by scherzanda (701 words) by Thimblerig Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Huo Daofu/Bai Haotian, Bai Haotian & Wu Xie, Liu Sang & Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian & Liu Sang Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Huò Dàofū, Bai Haotian, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling Additional Tags: background pingxie, background Iron Triangle, past Wu Xie/Huo Daofu, Post-Canon, hurt/sarcasm, Fade to Black, Dialogue Heavy, Meta Adjacent, Self-Indulgent Use of Chinese, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Podfic, podficcer not a native chinese-speaker but is doing her best, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours

‡

do the work, love the work (1616 words) by scherzanda Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling, Liu Sang (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian, Wu Erbai Additional Tags: Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Character Study, Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat Summary:

It doesn't always look that way, but Huo Daofu is doing his best.

Notes: once again I just have to excerpt, so you'll GET IT:

The train had nearly reached Hangzhou by the time Wu Xie spoke to him beyond the commonplace. He was still sitting in the corridor, staring dreamily at the growing suburbs, while Zhang Qiling gave Wang Pangzi a hand in the cabin. He looked up as Huo Daofu came back from the hot water dispenser. “Xiao Huo, xinkule. Sorry you never got that chance to watch me die, eh?”

Huo Daofu closed his eyes and looked away from Wu Xie’s smile, unshadowed now with death, brilliant and painful. “I’m sorry too,” he said, eyes still closed, and did not say any of the things he was sorry for.

‡

not only the sugar, but the days (3000 words) by A Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bai Haotian/Huo Daofu Characters: Huo Daofu (DMBJ Series), Bai Haotian Additional Tags: Mentions of Death, Healing, Getting Together, Youtiao as a Metaphor, Also Actual Youtiao Summary:

His gaze meets Bai Haotian's, who's trying so hard to keep it together, and he knows that Wu Xie will break her heart when he dies, and it won't even be his fault. He never fucking means to.

Notes: another recent entry in the HDF/Bai Haotian post-canon and I love it unreasonably. They both love Wu Xie SO MUCH and it's just taking them OUT. Their subsequent connection is natural and it's funny as hell, the author loves them both and it shows:

"Are you really sure?" Bai Haotian says softly, and Huo Daofu looks up.

"What?"

"About the week."

"At best," he says, then winces. Fuck it. "It'll be three days," he says, loud enough to carry through the bedroom door, "if he keeps pulling these stunts!" There's a muffled noise and some very clear profanity from Pangzi, which Huo Daofu ignores. "See if I care!" he adds, but it's just not the same without Wu Xie there to grin at him, unrepentant.

He can feel Bai Haotian's hand covering his own, just loosely, where it's half curled into a fist against his thigh. He turns his head. The look she gives him is so full of unquestioning kindness, of understanding, he almost has to close his eyes against it.

"I'm sure," he says quietly, not really looking at her. "But he's proven me wrong before."

He can see her nod as she takes that in, and then they just sit there in silence, her hand over his, not moving.

‡

In conclusion, just because I can, from some of my favorite posts:

[ohyka]

[jeong-guwon]

[januaryisnotanartist]

Please also do not fail to check out the magnificent Dr Mal Practice post, as well as "it's not his fucking birthday" and "I'll fucking do it but christ alive." These users truly understand the essence of Huo Daofu.

PS also don't sleep on Huo Daofu and Liu Sang having a fabulous bitch-off in Hua Mei, a Sha Hai side story ft. haunted Wushanju. Another side story, Ran Gu, also has a swooning Kan Jian. Quality entertainment!

[allycat75]

Screaming into a void time (another long one, sorry)...

Ok, I have tolerated these shenanigans with the Boston bonehead and his merry band of clout chasers and liars, watching his soul decay while everyone (including me) debated whether he was married or not, how many ceremonies they had, how they traveled and where they lived (and was it even their ugly-ass house in MA or NY) but I have to lay down some cold hard truths for our anxiety riddled pothead.

Your decisions, forced or not, have led you to this horrid point. Your only choices may have been between a turd sandwich and a giant douche (thanks, South Park) but you made that choice. And something tells me you didn't just come to this point out of nowhere. There were probably a string of missed lessons along the way that painted you into such a corner.

I know you may be fragile right now but you need to hear this as I suspect you are not hearing it from your loser friends or listening to the ones who do have your best interest at heart.

You are teetering on the ragged edge, my friend. I just saw the first trailer for Pain Hustlers and I can see why they released it only a week and a half before it is in the theaters- because Netflix wants to bury it. Another in a long line of duds your team should have been adept at steering you clear from. You better hope the strike last long enough to where Red One has to be postponed until next year, otherwise you will pull off the hat trick of working your ass off on three movies that have showcased how little anyone cares (you or the audience). I could be wrong about Red One, but this was filmed during your fugue state where the real Chris disappeared and was replaced with a stoned automaton who had no problem selling out everything he believed in. Not conducive to the best creative energy.

Well, buddy, it is time to wake up. You are aware of what is going on in the world, right? You used to have a website that cared about this stuff. Too bad you couldn't use this time off from the strike to pour into that instead of pretending to get married to a woman you refuse to touch or even sit near, breadcrumming two weddings by leveraging the poor boundaries you have established with your family and friends and giving the worst interview to GQ, making you look like a tone deaf, moronic, pretentious asshole.

You need to separate yourself from these racist, anti-semites NOW. While some outside the fandom are starting to notice, it will catch on like a house on fire if you aren't careful. Remember how easy it was for the fandom to find out all this shit about them last year? And now look at what is going on outside. Hamas is a terrorist organization who wants nothing more than to have Jews exterminated from the planet. And here in the US, we have someone vying to be Speaker of the House (second in line for the Presidency) who describes himself as "David Duke without the baggage"; you remember David Duke, right? You used to stand up to him before you were made to look like a fucking joke).

There is no such thing as a little bit racist, or a little bit antisemetic, and for all intents and purposes, you married one, with all her "baggage". Certificate or no certificate; pictures or no pictures. This isn't one of those things that you can claim plausible deniability. You are in it. And if you think your privlege can save you, maybe it can, but I doubt it. It may not have happened yet, but the Sword of Damocles is hanging just above your head.

It comes down to the difference between intent and impact. No one really believes this has been your intent, but that matters little to those impacted by your actions. I know you have "cyclical unhappiness" when you think about the small stuff too much, but too bad. There is no way to take yourself out of the equation. You are not a used car lot balloon, who frantically moves every which way until the air is let out and deflates into nothing. You are a grown human being and like all of us, have a responsibility to understand your place in the universe. Otherwise, you are just stepping over bodies with such carelessness- the teacher in Portugal who only thought she was supporting a charity, your friends trying to promote one of your crappy movies, only to have it derailed by your drama backstage, fans getting harassed and even receiving death threats for speaking the truth we see with our own eyes. You may not be doing these things with your own hands, but that does not absolve your responsibility.

As I said before, this is your time to wake up. Coming clean with pure heart and honesty is the only solution at this point. If you wait too long or dig your heals in, like we have seen before, it will be too late. Do you think Jinx will want to partner with an antisemite loving dog dad? What studio will hire you, even for your one movie a year? Based on your crappy decision making skills, I have a feeling any pottery you sell will be break even with the amount of pot you smoke. So invest wisely and I hope your accountants are more trustworthy than the rest of the people you have surrounded yourself with.

Now, I am actually a very kind person who for some reason is still rooting for you. I still think there is a good person buried deep in there. These are rare and may be why I can't give up just yet.

You have the con this weekend. I know you can't promote Captain America, but think back to what he stood for. You even referenced him and how you aimed to be more like him in that god forsaken GQ video. So do it, you dummy! You will feel much better when your soul is unburdened. Then follow the advise I and many others have given before:

Get a good therapist and do the work

Decide if you really want to act or not; if so, take some classes to shake the cobwebs off; If not, are you going to be ok giving up the perks?

Don't use weed as a crutch

Establish clear boundaries with family and friends

Remove relationships (personal and professional) that are no longer serving you or even doing you harm

Listen to what your head and the universe is telling you

Do not get into a relationship until you have an idea of who you are and at least get to the "like" stage

To quote Florence and the Machine (Wish That You Were Here):

And now I'm reaching out with every note I sing And I hope it gets to you on some pacific wind Wraps itself around you and whispers in your ear Tells you that I miss you and I wish that you were here

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Okay Tumblr ghesties, I have a Thing that is useless to many but may prove HelpfulTM to some

So have my (not) comprehensive list of ghouls in the band (I KNOW I'm missing some, I've been a fan for ages, I'm trying my best here and thie random is confusing as hell so this is definitely subject to possibly be wrong in lots of ways, especially dates-wise and im bad with remembering when eras ended so yk)

Also I'm going by the years they were in the band, not the eras

But I will have when the eras started/ended down below too to help

You'll notice there's a fuck ton of water ghouls. Water ghouls are bassists. There's been a lot of bassists. There was even a while where the band just... Didn't have a bassist. No clue what's up with that tbh

Symbols in the band and what they mean represent:

🜁- air (keyboard)

🜂- fire (lead guitar)

🜃- earth (drums)

🜄- water (bass)

- quintessence (see photo of symbol at bottom of post---rhythm guitar)

+ Multi (Don't technically use symbols, but I use the plus sign--- tambourine, background vocals, the like)

((Note: these are all alchemical symbols, which I noticed when I first got into the band. I adore that so much. I even have a ghoul language in the works comprised solely of alchemical symbols!!))

LIST OF GHOULS (as of 2023):

Air (This one doesn't have a fandom-wide name as far as I'm aware, but I call him Atmos); air ghoul #1; 2010-2016

Chain (wore a chain around his waist and sometimes painted black on his hands in bone-like patterns); water ghoul #1; 2010-2011

Lake (water ghoul #2) 2011-2013

Alpha (fire ghoul #1); 2010-2016

Omega (thick-ass silver rings on both ring fingers, quintessence ghoul #1); 2010-2016

Big Earth (I call him Valley and I don't think he's got a fandom-wide name either); earth ghoul #1; 2010-2013

River (water ghoul #3); 2013-2013

Little Earth/Pebble (earth ghoul #2); 2014-2016

Delta (water ghoul #4, later quintessence ghoul #2); 2014-2016

Mist (first ghoulette, water ghoul #5); 2016-2016

Ifrit (replaced Alpha, fire ghoul #2); 2017-2017

Aether (banana boy, quintessence ghoul #3); 2017-2023

ChAir/Zephyr (bro's got chronic back pain or smthn, air ghoul #2); 2017-2017

Dewdrop/Sodomizer (stompy and stoic, water #6, later fire #3); 2017-

New Earth/Ivy (earth #3); 2017-2017

Mountain (nameless ghoul with rhythm, no shoes, earth ghoul #4); 2017-

Swiss Army (feral, fucks his guitar more than he plays it, loves being on his knees, a smokin' nameless ghoul, multi ghoul #1); 2018-

Rain (tripped while paying once, water ghoul #7); 2018-

Cirrus (a nameless ghoul that rocks, air ghoul #4)

Cumulus (a nameless ghoul with some moves, air ghoul #5); 2018-

Sunshine (multi ghoul #2); 2020-2022

Phantom (sometimes called Midas/Aeon); (quintessence ghoul #4); 2023-

Aurora (multi ghoul #3); 2023-

Assorted ghouls:

Cowbell

Special/Phil (I think they're the same, but it's been a while since I've paid Special Ghoul attention. I am shaming myself for this 😔)

Edit:: Because I'm stupid and forgot to post the image at first:

The quintessence symbol! <3

((too many fucking tagssss hrrng I can't get everyone I'm sorry-- but yeah, there ya go. hopefully this helps someone out a little. And for newcomers- we named the ghouls as a fandom. some names just tend to stick, some names have been official, and some haven't. go nuts <33))

[ghnosis]

*rips bong* (this is my bong in case you're curious)

so some of you have asked me, over the course of the 80-someodd interviews I have so far conducted, why I am doing my PhD on Ghost.

tonight a participant asked me in a manner that sort of finally clicked for me - because I assume all of you live inside my head with me and know why I do everything.

Rose, why are you doing your PhD on Ghost fandom?

when I was 12, American Idiot by Green Day came out. I lost my mind immediately. Green Day were my first hyperfixation. I promise if you ask about "Green Day Girl" to people I went to high school with, they would remember me. not only did Green Day teach me about the Iraq War, and American progressive politics in general, they also taught me, a bullied and weird child, what it meant not to give a shit. someone thinks I'm wrong/bad/inferior? cool! I don't fucking care. "now everybody do the propaganda," etc.

if I kept talking about everything I learned from Green Day, we'd be here all night. but. Green Day *also* taught me that music didn't have to sound like pop, or like country. that music could be written because someone felt something. that music could be used to express rage, a thing I felt in spades.

so from Green Day, my door is blown wide the fuck open and I get to learn about Dead Kennedys, about David Bowie, about Nirvana.

the other thing I know I love, back then in 2004, is learning. and teaching.

fast forward 15ish years, give or take (or pack me a second bowl and I'll tell you the middle), and I'm looking, halfheartedly and in a bummed-out manner, for a PhD program. I have my master's, I didn't like the experience, but I want that Dr. I've been presenting at conferences and doing some piddly academic writing on video games and the use of games in education, and I'm on a listserv for other people writing about games. I get an email from someone at Falmouth University about a PhD program there in "Dark Economies." who's listed on the email? none other than Tanya Fucking Krzywinska, my number one academic girl crush (in my subject area. my actual number one is a historian)!!!!!!

so I read this email and it's talking about the intersection of the occult, video games, and heavy metal. as I said, I've been writing about video games. one of the things I'd been writing about was a certain thing that happened in that industry ooooh, 14 years ago now. something in my brain slots into place.

the occult: I know what that is. occult rock, certainly. I maybe could squeeze in some punk or pop punk. the goffik. we got some MCR.

heavy metal. well, I'm a punk girl through and through, but I used to date that guy in the metal band and have seen Slayer et al multiple times live. sure. I can occupy that world. wait a minute. Ghost.

video games. the thing I'd been writing about, specifically the mistreatment of anyone who wasn't a cis guy. you know what that sounds a lot like? sounds a lot like going to metal shows with my ex. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. GHOST??? on TUNGLE DOT HELL???

so I log my ass back on to this website and I look at you, at all of you beautiful people I'd been reblogging ass wobbling gifs with for years, and I said "oh my god. are they me? is whatever is going on in there just a bunch of me's, except it's Ghost not Green Day?

are all of you finding the most beautiful thing there is to find, namely, empowerment and freedom, in the goofy Satan band music band? was it the heaviest thing you had heretofore encountered? did it crack open a yawning chasm in your soul? were you hurting in ways you didn't know how to articulate? are you learning what it means to take up space, to demand rights for yourself and for others, to truly let your fucking freak flags fly? are you feeling the stirring in your heart that only comes from religion (read: witchcraft) or from seeing the most important band in the fucking world live, in the flesh, singing TO YOU, sweating FOR YOU? if you are, I think we are fucking important and vital. I think that we can tell our stories and make a bunch of other weird little girls realise that they, too, have rights - including to transition.

cos immediately in doing this research I found out - you're also NOT me, in some really important and specific ways. maybe being AFAB in the US isn't part of it. maybe it's bigger than that. and I feel so lucky, so truly fucking blessed and lucky, to have gotten to speak to over eighty of you beautiful people, to have been trusted with your stories. to learn what makes YOU ache in your soul and how it is different to but also the same as mine. I have to stop now I'm gonna cry!!!!

[stairset]

Alright now that it's the next day. I have to stress how fucking funny it is for me that Starset as a band has existed for 11 years and I've been a fan for practically that whole time and they had not a single song with any swear words to the point that it made them stick out because most of my other favorite bands DO swear. Which is not to say the concept of swearing was foreign to them, as Dustin's old band has several songs with swearing, the book has swearing, for the latest tour they played a whole ass short film that basically turned "Fuck the New East" into a fandom catchphrase which makes zero sense to anyone not familiar with the band and its Lore. But none of that is the actual Starset music. So you just kinda take for granted that they don't say naughty words in their songs and that's just how it is. Then comes the night of May 2, 2024. I'm at work cause I work the evening shift. My shift ends at 11:30 and it's 11 so I'm wrapping things up and getting ready to leave soon and needlesss to say I'm tired as hell and ready to go to sleep. The new Starset song just dropped so I listen to that as I finish up my work for the day. It's an absolutely epic banger which is no less than I expect from these guys at this point. And then. He says. FUCK. After over a decade of not a single no-no word these guys just suddenly drop The First Official Starset Fuck Song out of nowhere. They said what's so brave and new about this world you ask? It's a world where we say FUCK now, that's what. And I'm so surprised that I actually start to laugh out loud for a second before remembering I'm still at work so I end up just making a weird awkward half-laugh sound before stopping myself because if having a new song at all didn't wake me up then THAT sure as hell did. And then I jam to the song in the car on the drive home because a song like that can only be done justice by listening to it on a car stereo that's turned up way too loud. And I'm so into it I almost don't see a possum crossing the road in front of me and I barely slow down in time to not run it over. Which kinda freaked me out at the time cause I've never come that close to hitting an animal before but now that it's in the past it's hilarious because I can honestly say I found a song so good that it almost made me kill something. Truly a moment in Starset history for me.

[1987vampire]

a hazy dream | Brian Thomas

Fandom: Creepypasta / Marble hornets Word Count: 2.5k Warnings: sleep sex, reader is trans!male but it's only mentioned like one time when Brian calls you pretty boy. Fem body parts. smut frfr. just sm sweet smut A/N: Set in the poly!proxies universe like always. I posted this on my AO3 a few days ago and forgot to put it on here, too. You have full permission to crucify me. Cashapp: $Orpheus89 if ur feelin a lil brazy Extra:

Brian was practically exhausted by the time he came home, boots just barely dragging against the floor as he climbed up the multiple flights of stairs, his normally silent walk just barely heard by the other residents. His regular yellow hoodie was stained brown in some spots, dried blood and mud caked on the fabric. The same could be said for his jeans, and unfortunately for his gun, too. The fuckers had put up more of a fight than expected.

It was mostly silent in their portion of the house, but still, he found himself doing check-ins on the others. Sally was curled up in her princess-themed bed, ratty doll pressed against her chest as she snored more like a grown man than a child. Toby had his laptop blaring some YouTube videos he didn’t recognize nor care to, but the boy was dead to the world as well despite how loud it was. Tim, surprisingly, was also with Toby, body half-curled around him from behind, face pressed into Toby’s band t-shirt and hand half-holding onto a crochet hook, the yarn trailing off to a mess on the floor, another blanket, maybe?

That only left one. Brian kicked open the final door, the shared bedroom between him and Tim, and there you were. He felt himself physically deflate at the sight of you. You were fast asleep in one of his shirts, a faded-out band tee from when he was in college, your fist wrapped around the fabric like you had been clutching it to your chest. Your legs were exposed, bottom half only covered by a pair of red lace panties, a pair Tim had bought for you, if he remembered correctly, and god, did you look good enough to eat right now, and eat he just might. You shifted in your sleep like you somehow realized he was there, a predator in the night, but prey just for you – just for the group y’all had made.

You pressed your face further into one of their pillows, hips shifting so even more of you was on display, the curve of your ass, the fat of your stomach, the moonlight shifting through the windows making you seem almost angelic, like you weren’t also a killer just like them. He took a step forward, ready for the kill, but then he paused again, a shuddering breath crawling out of his chest and escaping before he could catch it. Oh, how he loved you. Oh, how it was even easier to realize when you were soft like this, when you were out for the taking, unaware of the danger, unaware of the love he had for you.

He took another step, this time stopping to kick off his muddy boots, pushing them aside so he wouldn’t trip on them later. Then came his pants, his boxers sweaty but free from the debris of the day. His hoodie and shirt were off in one fluid motion once his holsters were unbuckled. At least he was smart enough to click on his safety before chucking his gun away.

You were still so oblivious, nose twitching but otherwise unaware. When he finally made it to the bed, it was almost like a reward, dirty, tainted hands pressing against soft skin, still clean, still pure. He let his hand crawl up the expanse of your leg, calloused palm against your ankle, up your calf, up your thigh, finding purchase on your hip. He sighed, leaning down, pressing his mouth to your ankle and following the same pattern with his mouth. You shifted at that, a soft grunt escaping you followed by a sigh and you pressed more into the bed and more into his hold at the same time.

He lifted again, hand still on your hip, and then the other gently pushed you until you were on your back. You shuffled and then stilled, and Brian’s heart was full, as full as it could be for such a man. He pressed his free hand to your cheek, caressing, a soft smile taking over his face as you nuzzled into his hold. “So, so pretty,” he whispered, following it with a press of his lips to your forehead.

You moved at that, as his hand on your hip began to stroke your thigh, and he pressed another kiss to your cheek this time. You let out a soft groan, blinking past bleary vision at the man above you. “Mmm, Brian?” Your voice was still thick with sleep, confusion laced on top of it.

“Hey, pretty boy,” Brian murmured, watching with fond eyes as you nuzzled into his hand again, hips shifting slightly as the stimulation began to hit you.

You reached a hand up, pawing at his bare back, not sure what you wanted but sure that you wanted the touch at least. “You’re back?”

“Yeah, I’m back.” He made a tutting noise as you tried to push yourself up, leading you so you were laid back down again. “Missed you.”

You were clearly still half out of it, blinking up at him slowly, brain not comprehending what was in front of you. “Missed you too, baby.” He smiled again, this time leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, one that you reciprocated as much as you could. He yawned after, mouth opening wide like a lion, sharp canines on display. You tugged at him then, hand on his back pulling him just the slightest bit forward. “C’mere. You need to sleep.”

“Maybe in a second,” he replied, thumbs dipping into the bottom of your panties. You could feel the fire inside you spark, a shiver running down your spine at the implication. “You okay with this,” he questioned as he moved a bit closer to the space you were already internally begging him to get to.

You let out an affirmation, following it with another yawn, letting yourself turn to putty in his hands. He continued to just let his hands run over you, silent devotion in the silence of the room. The rain was picking up. He turned to see the window just barely cracked, small dribbles of the rain trailing down the wall as it gathered on the sill and spilled over. It made everything seem even hazier, your head dazed from sleep and his touch, and you were in bliss. He was right behind you, letting his shoulders drop, Hoodie almost pushing to take over control as he relaxed, but he wanted this, wanted this moment with you, wanted to hear his name fall from your lips, his rough hands on soft skin, him and you fully. As much as he loved the other boys, and he loved sharing you and Tim, it was rare to have moments like these anymore.

You sighed, letting your eyes fall half-closed, his touch lulling you almost into sleep, even as it felt like your skin was lit with flames everywhere he touched. He abandoned your thighs in favor of pushing your shirt up, watching as the cold air sent your skin prickling with goosebumps. You shivered, and he couldn’t help the soft shush he let out in response. “You’ll be warmer, soon, don’t worry, baby,” he whispered. It felt impossible to be any louder at the moment, like it would ruin everything, break the spell that had settled over the room. “I just wanna see you.” Hands pressing against now exposed skin, his breathing growing heavier, the heat in both his boxers and your panties seemed almost unbearable, but he continued to ignore it, instead leaning down and capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, pride filling his chest at the way you keened, arching into his touch.

“Brian,” you whimpered.

“I know, baby, I know.” He settled on just letting your shirt rest pushed up to your collarbones instead of taking it all the way off, hands already moving to dip into your panties, pulling them down. You shuffled just enough to help him pull them all the way off. He tossed them without a care, glancing over as they landed on his discarded hoodie, bright red on muddied yellow. He moved, settling between your thighs instead, kneeling and ready to worship. Fingers pressed to where you so desperately needed him, almost immediately finding your clit, letting out a delighted sound at the feeling of how wet you already were. Fuck, you were practically coating your thighs with the slick substance. He settled a slow rhythm, circling the bud, so slow that it made you want to whine out again, not enough to push you to the edge, only enough to have you clenching around nothing, getting wetter and wetter with anticipation and need.

“Aren’t you just the prettiest little thing?” You hadn’t realized that Brian had leaned down until his face was almost against your heat, you could feel his breath fanning against your soaked skin, and you finally cried out, shifting your hips, inviting him closer. He chuckled and relented, leaning forward slowly, and before you could help yourself, you were practically screaming, fisting at the sheets as Brian ate you out like a man starved. Earlier hesitations were gone with a flick of his tongue and a suck of his lips. You wanted to sob at the immediate overstimulation, the teasing that switched in an instant.

No words fell from your lips, just a confusing stutter of syllables and cries, especially as he moved to stuff two fingers inside of you, your body giving no resistance from how slick you were. His mouth wrapped around your clit, and his fingers pumped in and out of you at a steady pace, and then suddenly, you were cumming, and you were cumming hard. One of your hands fisted into his hair, the other tight in the sheets, and you were seeing stars. The orgasm came in slow waves, each bit of it drawn out with a slow movement of his fingers inside of you, a slight curl to press against your sweet spot during the final moments. You let a tear slip at that finally, slumping back into the mattress.

Brian lifted himself back up, the stupidest grin on his face, proud. Then, his mouth was on yours again, back to the slow, passionate, needy taste all over again. He pressed forward, tongue and teeth added to the mix, and you were on cloud nine, half out of it as you pulled at him, gripping his arm with all the meager strength you could muster. “I’m going to fuck you now,” he murmured as he finally pushed down his boxers, erection springing free, red and leaking and aching. He felt like he might die if he wasn’t able to finally press into the wet heat you so lovingly offered. You groaned, low in the back of your throat, more pleading than you meant for it to be. You shifted your hips, inviting him closer; he was quick to take the offer. He ran the head of his cock over your entrance, collecting the slick, and then he was pushing in, and you were seeing stars again, both of you moaning as he pressed in until he was fully inside in one fluid motion. He panted above you, pulling out the slightest bit before rocking back in. Your lips were parted, eyes closed as you let yourself fully enjoy the feeling. You didn’t think you would ever get used to this.

His hands found your hips, fingers digging into the soft flesh. “I love you so much,” he whispered as he pulled out until he was almost gone and then pressed back in, slow and devotional. You tried to find a response, tried to force words past your hung open lips, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to, instead pressing a hand to his chest and tapping your fingers three times against him – just like Hoodie had done for you. I love you.

He sighed, setting a slow and steady rhythm, and he leaned down, pressing his mouth to anything he could reach, your chest, your shoulders, your arms, your cheek, until finally he pressed his mouth to yours again. You were holding him so tight, like you were afraid he would let go, that your hazy mind had been making this all up, like you weren’t sure someone like him could be so real. You wanted to cry again, and you did, a few tears slipping past as you tapped him three times again, pausing and doing it again and again, and the words were falling out of his mouth in tandem.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He breathed you in, pressed his lips to your open throat, marking you with teeth and tongue. If he could, he would devour you whole, mark you until everyone that ever saw you knew who you belonged to. No, no belong wasn’t the correct word. You never belonged to them, you and he were parts of a whole, the five of you fit together like missing pieces, making something that seemed unreal at times. You had given yourself willingly, and so had they, fell from one day to the next, ready for anything with arms wide open as long as the others were right there. And they always were.

You finally spoke, the words cracked and pushed through a sob. “I’m gonna cum,” you cried out, hold finally tightening on him, like you were ripped from the fog you were in as you felt the cords of pleasure tightening until they were almost painful, desire wrapping you in its loving hold.

“Cum for me, baby,” he purred out. “Let me feel you.”

And you did, back arching and mouth parting as you practically screamed, fat tears rolling down your cheeks before you could even think to try and stop them. You moaned, sobbing right after as he pushed you through your orgasm, himself quick to follow as your walls fluttered around him. He groaned, rocking into you slowly, letting the both of you come down slowly, dragging out the ecstasy as long as he could. You whined, the sound taut in the back of your throat, and he shushed you, peppering your face with kisses, especially over the tears.

“You did so good,” he cooed, exhaustion finally settling into his bones. “So good, darlin’. Like you were made for me.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead then, sighing as he pulled out. You whined again at the loss, but he silenced it with a kiss to your lips before sitting back. “I’ll be right back. Let me go grab something to clean us up.”

Your hand shot forward, gripping his arm tighter than you had all night, eyes flying open. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t be gone for more than a second, baby.” Still, you whimpered, and he felt his heart drop. “Do you want to come with me, or do you want to just clean up in the morning.”

“Morning. In the morning.”

And how could he ever deny you when you begged like that. He sighed and nodded, letting you pull him down onto the bed with you, your body curling around him instantly. “You know I’m gross right now,” he mumbled half-heartedly, his eyes already drooping closed.

“Don’t care,” you grumbled back. “Love you.”

“I love you too, y/n. More than you’d ever know.”

[snackugaki-jestsjapesjokes]

blep blah, here have some old ass backrooms doodle content when the topic of "the beach episode" concept came up bluhp blooh brain nyooming but art hand isn't arting

i think what is super cute in modern fandom expression that I've seen is that in terms of making OCs or AUs is that sound seems to have a bigger role now than from what I remember when I was young. which I'm thinking has a lot to do with being able to clip audio easily or being able to make multi-track playlists whenever. y'all out here with reels of your art with voice claims and some of the most thoughtfully and artfully crafted soundtracks-- not even playlists, some of that shit is a straight up soundtrack level be real

89% tempted to try one of those shady "free" video/audio editing programs to make a LoFi chill beats study girl visualizer playlist with my iteration's boys ...

anyway gonna contemplate music headcanons for my iteration under the cut

From Turtle Tracks fan letter section, Archie run, #24

so real quick, my iteration is literally just them chilling, hanging out, being together in their mid 30s- early 40s, and then sometimes flashing back to their child/teen years in the 90s because tl;dr i have miiiiiinor beef my childhood turtles weren't quite as "90s" as they "could have been" (nvm I'm cackling at the milennial pop culture refs in Mutant Mayhem drop kicking me back into my adolescence)

but mehehehehe, keeping that they listened to Public Enemy and The Jungle Brothers

and aside from Top 40 musicians of the time... I feel like being outsiders themselves, having to sneak around to explore and learn about people and what's above the sewers had them eavesdropping into a lot of nighttime venues and getting into the underground and various niche subculture scenes that daytime Top 40 didn't play.

cannot tell me the lights, thumping and noise from bands playing hardcore or house or hosting cyphers or raves didn't attract these curious and funky little green dudes like moths to a flame

... Leo definitely fell in deep with the gregorian chant phase, soothing sounds of nature fads , a big fan of Orbital and he fell into that electronic, house, trance, eurodance rabbit hole right after. he also got into Celtic folk music but when his brothers caught his ass studying Michael Flatley to incorporate Riverdance footwork into his ninjutsu he got teased so mercilessly that he took great care to hide listening to it... which just made his stealth better so joke's on them heehoo

Not to mention they're from New York City, the underground music scene is always bangin' no matter the decade; feel like rap and punk got a lot of tracks on their mix tapes back in the day

Raph getting into the metal scene in his own exploring the city trips, and then progressed to music with that boom bap sound (cuz baby boy needs a way to come down off those high intensity moods idk ijs)

Donnie... just the amalgamation of his brothers, he needs that background noise while he's chewing on schematics and protoype development, he would definitely have been the mixtape maker/recording bootlegger (along with Mikey)

Mikey absolutely tagged along with his brothers sometimes whenever they went to their spots for music, though he himself backflipped into ska 'cuz Mikey is always for the people

my tmnt  iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt  iteration part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

tmnt  iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

Keep reading

[philipjohnclapp]

dudeee could you write headcanons on a female cky member who’s dating knox? it’s literally my dream but i’m terrible at writing my own stuff 🥹

( it would also be sick if you write about how her relationship is with everyone — especially vito cause he’s fucking hilarious — cause i imagine her being on cky and jackass *the tv show and movies* )

CKY member dating Knoxville Headcanons

A/N: I have zero idea what I’m doing, but I decided to include my favorite of the cky guys. Circulated towards more CKY as a whole and not Jackass simply because I didn’t wanna portray what is overdone already with Y/N. I hope you are satisfied, and once again my inbox is open. I love doing headcanons! Remember I’ll write anything for any fandom. I’m willing to do another part with more CKY, or turn this into a fic, also, I could do another part with the Jackass guys. Been working on this for a while, my bad for taking so long.

CKY Band Headcanons:

- Knoxville is jealous, I mean since he saw you in CKY. He gets jealous because of how close the guys are to you, and overall because of how much time they spend with you.

- Going along with the jealous thing whenever any of the guys are touching you in any way he gets all snappy and jealous.

- He makes it obvious too, and the guys have definitely gotten their asses handed to them a few times.

- Most of the time you intervene before it can happen.

- For the life of you, you can’t get Knoxville to like Jess. He doesn’t hate the guy, but even when things are just normal he’s still pissy.

- Knoxville definitely wishes you two met sooner, and he rambles on about it even if it wasn’t physically possible for you to meet sooner.

- He often jokes about making his own band just with you in it so he could have you all to himself.

- Definitely finds you being in a band sexually appealing.

- He’s absolutely amazed whenever you’re playing an instrument or singing.

- Sometimes he likes to join in even though he can’t sing or play for the life of him. At least he thinks he can’t sing, when he tries it sorta has a southern drawl to it and it just drives you wild as well.

- His accent is definitely more heavy when you’re around, and he’ll exaggerate it just because he knows how much you like it.

- When around the guys he always is touching you in some shape or form.

- He’s like a helicopter mom.

- Will try to go to every one of your concerts and definitely owns at least three of every merch item.

- Can't fight, but WILL fight fans who are creepy to you.

- Whenever you’re touring with the guys and he can’t go with you, bet your ass your phones are ringing non stop off the hook, and if you don’t answer? Well, he’ll harass the guys.

- He’s definitely gotten blocked by some of them.

- Definitely tried to make a shitty song for you once for Valentine’s Day; it was horrible, but you loved it.

- He definitely burns CDs with different songs for you.

- Try to listen to heavy rock and such to fit in with your music taste, and in return you listen to some of his country shit.

- Most of the time y’all just bounce back to The Ramones and such.

- You two listen to a whole bunch of parody music together, like an ungodly amount.

CKY Movie Headcanons:

- Before you two met you were already in CKY, so you bet when you two started dating he rewatched the first few movies practically a million times.

- With the newer ones he always follows you around set, he’s definitely like your runner boy.

- When the guys go too far you bet your ass there’s clips of him going to the extreme.

- Definitely gets super jealous, especially because of how hansy the guys can be with you.

- If you and the guys are going drinking you bet your ass he’s tagging along, because of his jealousy and the fact he always wants to be around you.

- It’s also because he may or may not trust most of the guys you hang around, but he does trust Bam's parents.

- Always I mean ALWAYS french kisses you, and just overall gets heated with you around the guys.

- Has no shame, even one time he made a joke that they could watch.

- One night when things got specifically really heated, Bam tried to redeem that card. It did not go well, he got punched in the jaw.

Relationship with other CKY members:

Bam Margera:

- You two are tight, no surprise there cause you are.

- He hates that you’re with Johnny and when he’s not around he always asks you why you’re with him.

- He definitely secretly likes you.

- Even though he doesn’t like Johnny, you two are still close because all in all you were close with Bam before you ever were close with Johnny.

- Bam definitely brings that fact up when he’s talking to Johnny, Johnny absolutely hates it.

- He says he wishes he met you sooner [even though he grew up in shit fuck Tennessee.]

- You definitely were the one to teach Bam how to do his eyeliner, made him fall in love with it too.

-You did eyeliner for the first time on him as a joke, he was supposed to hate it, but he did not. Surprise!

Jess Margera:

- Your boyfriend likes him a whole lot more, and Jess doesn’t overstep boundaries.

- You love him to bits.

- You two platonically cuddle all the time, and it gets Bam so jealous.

- By now Johnny figured out that he really couldn’t do a thing about it, he’s over it.

- Sometimes if you two end up cuddling Johnny will just straight up join.

- Yor some reason he always calls the middle, it’s weird.

- Jess introduced you to most of your favorite singers (somehow)

- You two definitely have similar music tastes.

Ryan Dunn:

- Definitely drink together.

- He’s like a brother to you, like cmon.

- Definitely protective over you, but in a sibling type of way.

- He’s like your ride or die.

- Twin flame for real.

- You definitely bash him for his music taste.

- He bashed you for your taste in men.

- So far (he believes) Knoxville is the best guy you’ve dated.

- You’ve dated a lot of shit bags.

- Definitely pranks the shit outta you.

- Steal your cigarettes, like you never have any.

- You two do a lot of stunts together, Jackass and CKY.

- Still, you won’t share a room with him. He reeks.

Vito:

- He’s like an uncle to you, or a second father in his own weird way.

- You definitely do a whole lot of pranking to him when with Bam.

- Though, you of course do a whole lot on your own too.

- He can’t ever hold a grudge against you.

- Though he has tried (and failed) running after you one time, while Bam jumped on him from behind.

- It was funny.

- Still, you two have a good bond.

- Definitely watch different television shows together.

- Gets along with Knoxville.

Chris Raab:

- Let’s be honest, he is like an annoying little brother to you.

- Though, sometimes you call him Sid jokingly because he looks like the Sid from Toy Story.

- He got tired of it, it was funny at first though.

- Definitely do odd things together. Always up to the most weird things.

- You probably wear his clothes, sometimes.

- Definitely like to sit and listen to music together though.

- Even though Chris Raab probably falls asleep halfway through it.

[sk8erboi04]

Achilles Come Down is Regulus coded and I can PROVE IT!!

Okay so I have literally never posted anything on the site, I literally just exist as a ghost that likes silly funny things, but I have been inspired so severely and I physically can’t not say something.

Picture this.

I was driving my car, minding my own business and absolutely vibing, when all of a sudden a song auto-plays that I haven’t heard in like, three years.

‘Achilles Come Down’ by the band ‘Gang of Youths’ hit me like an emotional truck, and outside of how beautiful that song is on its own (literally if you haven’t heard where have you been go listen to it NOW) that silly little fandom worm we all know wiggled its way into my brain and gave me the most violent fanon idea I’ve ever had.

*Ahem*In this essay, I will explain how ‘Achilles Come Down’ is a perfect representation of Regulus Black and his relationships with Sirius, James, and his parents, as well as his inner turmoil as a character.

Okay, so to start, we are running on the idea that James and Regulus have or at least had a relationship in some capacity. I will accept one-sided feelings on James’ part, mutual feelings but never official, or officially together for any stretch of time. If you are not a Jegulus shipper, your mom’s a hoe, but you can enjoy the familial aspects at least, so there you go.

Beginning with the song as a whole, there are three voices we hear singing at different moments throughout the song, each with their own intention and influence on the song’s subject. Within the song's narrative, we listen as Patroclus tries to inspire Achilles to fight for his own life and push through his hardships, while Hector tries to poison Achilles' mind with self-doubt and despair.

As I mentioned though, there is a third voice that appears throughout the song that speaks French in the time between the characters fighting over Achilles’ well-being and the chorus. This character’s identity is unknown as far as I can tell, but his narration is far more metaphorical regardless and we’re not gonna get into that until later(though each instance will be numbered for later reference), in the meantime, we can move on to the lyrics and how this is so incredible Regulus coded and how I KNOW I’m right.

The song starts with the opening lines:

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down - Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? - You're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you - Achilles, it's not much but there's proof - You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue - Redemption lies plainly in truth - Just humor us, Achilles, Achilles, come down - Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

Now this first stanza reads to me as an emotional James, trying to convince Regulus that there is still time to join him and Sirius and the other marauders and to get away from his parents/Voldemort. Perhaps at this time, Regulus is feeling like it’s too late, maybe he already has the dark mark, but James is begging him to understand that it’s okay, and he still has time to make the right decision.

After a few lines in French (1) from our third voice, the original voice continues:

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down - Won't you get up off, get up off the roof? - The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken - Remember the pact of our youth - Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping - Since there is no me without you - Soldier on, Achilles, Achilles, come down - Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

At this point, I still believe this is James, becoming even more desperate to save Regulus and bringing up their time at Hogwarts and the relationship they had at that time. Now, I personally believe they would still be together in the context of the song, but it works from multiple angles, playing at possibly a past relationship that’s now over but still treasured, or a one-sided thing for James where he’s still trying to reach Regulus in a way he never could. Regardless, this is James’ hail-mary, saying if you do this, you will leave me empty; an attempt at reaching Regulus emotionally, even if that means threatening his own well-being.

From here we move on to the chorus:

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome - But love the sweet air of the votives - Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone - Engage with the pain as a motive

Today, of all days, see - How the most dangerous thing is to love - How you will heal and you'll rise above

Now this is clearly James and Sirius (and whoever else you want on the side of goodness) reaching out to Regulus, but the first half gets a little tricky. I’ve taken it to mean Regulus loathes the way they do things with the order of the phoenix and Dumbledore, but loves the grace, safety, and love they show. (this is related to hating what Rome is doing ((lighting the candles)) but loving the results ((the sweet smell))) They call out to him saying “you will hurt to leave what you know, and you will be afraid but you don’t have to be alone in this. We are fighting because of the pain they have caused you and everyone else.”

The second half of the chorus is much simpler, speaking to how literally the WHOLE THING in ‘Harry Potter’ as a franchise is that love concurs all, and that while it would be dangerous to leave the dark side, he can heal and rise above his family and history through ~the power of love~.

After some more of our French gentleman(2), we hear from our second voice:

Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now - You are absent of cause or excuse - So self-indulgent and self-referential - No audience could ever want you - You crave the applause yet hate the attention - Then miss it, your act is a ruse - It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now - It's a pointless resistance for you

This is Regulus’ parents, discouraging their son from following in his brother's footsteps in their terrible parenting way. Speaking of how he would be selfish to leave, how Sirius would never want to see him again anyway, and how it would be pointless to fight what they have already predetermined for his life.

A little more French(3), and then we’re back to the original voice:

Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle - Don't listen to what you've consumed - It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy - Of feeding and it's wholly untrue - You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing - It's all just conjecture and gloom - And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it - Do not waste yourself on this roof

Now THIS is Sirius talking. He argues against his parents' negative influence and tries to convince Regulus that everything they’re saying is a lie. He then relates to Regulus, referring to his own experience of leaving the family and how he felt hopeless and lost, but calling Regulus to action to find meaning outside of his family (cough* James *cough) and push forward, not letting the family and Voldemort waste his life.

We then hear an updated chorus:

Hear those bells ring deep in the soul - Chiming away for a moment - Feel your breath course frankly below - And see life as a worthy opponent

Today, of all days, see - How the most dangerous thing is to love - How you will heal and you'll rise above - Crowned by an overture bold and beyond - Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

Not much to say here tbh. I don’t have any strong feelings on a different interpretation one way or another, other than the fact that ‘it’s more courageous to overcome’, is something Sirius was able to do while Regulus, unfortunately, couldn’t, and maybe this was destined, as Sirius was a Griffandor and Regulus (in my opinion) actively fought being placed in his brother's house and thus, couldn’t show his true courage until the cave.

A tiny more French(4), and then THE moment the fight comes to a head (note that the ‘good’ voice is the one in parentheses and/or italicized):

You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers (it's not worth it, Achilles)

More poignant than fame or the taste of another (don't listen, Achilles)

But be real and just jump, you dense motherf#cker (you're worth more, Achilles)

You will not be more than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)

You want my opinion, my opinion you've got (no one asked your opinion)

You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts (no one asked for your thoughts)

Be done with this now and jump off the roof (be done with this now and get off the roof)

Can you hear me, Achilles? I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you

Achilles, come down

Achilles, come down

This is very dense, but I think the obvious back and forth of the voices speaks as well as it can to the fight of good vs evil in Regulus’ mind as he tries to grapple with what he wants and knows is right vs the pressure of the dark side and the fear of its wrath. I DO especially like the line about being more than a rat, simply because of the symbolism with Pettigrew and how Sirius/James are reaching out and trying to save Regulus, all the while, their friend is being swept away as well.

A bit more French(5) and then the last iteration of the chorus:

Throw yourself into the unknown - With pace and a fury defiant - Clothe yourself in beauty untold - And see life as a means to a triumph

Today, of all days, see - How the most dangerous thing is to love - How you will heal and you'll rise above - Crowned by an overture bold and beyond - Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

This last bit, when listened to with Regulus in mind, comes across as very hopeful. Throw yourself into this unknown, but safer reality, do it ferociously and courageously, and surround yourself in the light of these good people who want to help you. See that your life is not condemned, you can live to be happy for yourself.

Whoa! That was a lot my friends, but now that that's settled, let's get into this FRENCH! (also the fact that they speak French, it’s literally too perfect) I’m just going to translate and do all of it in one big chunk for clarity and also this is already a mile long😅.

I see that many people die because they believe that life is not worth living. I see others, who are paradoxically killed for ideas For illusions, which give them a reason to live (What we call a reason to live is at the same time an excellent reason to die).

Of a building manager who had killed himself it was once said that he had lost his daughter five years ago, that he had changed a lot since then, and that this experience had changed him

What triggers the crisis is almost always uncontrollable. The newspapers often speak of “intimate sorrows” or “incurable illness”. These explanations are valid. But we should know if, on the same day, a friend of the desperate person did not speak to him in an indifferent tone.

The memories of a lost homeland, the hope of a promised land. This divorce between the man of his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity.

Either yes or no. this would be too easy. But we must make allowance for those who, without concluding, always question. Here, I am hardly being ironic, this is the majority. I also see that those who answer “no” act as if they thought “yes”.

Now, if you just read that all and were like, WTH girl, what even was that? Well, let me tell you! Every instance of French in the song is an excerpt from ‘The Myth of Sisyphus’, a book written way back in 1942. Why does this matter? In all honesty, it kinda doesn’t😅. Sisyphus was a king who figured out how to cheat death so everyone could live forever, and it SUPER ticked off the gods, so now he’s stuck rolling a boulder up a hill forever and ever.

I have racked my brain trying to tie this into the Regulus stuff, but it’s just not working so now you just get to know what the French stuff is about and that’s gonna have to be good enough, I’m afraid😂

ANYWAY, with everything combed through and all the parallels pointed out, I hope you can go listen to this song with new ears and get on my wavelength about it! Enjoy your life, you know, drink some water, viva la vida loca and all that.

TLDR; I’ve decided ‘Achilles Come Down’ is the perfect depiction of Regulus trying to get away from his parents' harmful ideations while being called to by Sirius/James who are attempting to save him.