#i saw my dog sleeping on the couch and miss her. i will explode in due time.

[monpalace]

it's been eight long and arduous years since ive last seen the sun.

my skin has long calcified into that of concrete and i fear that my eyes will melt if the candle by my bedside remains aflame any longer.

i stepped out of my prison mere moments ago and saw a stray canine on the street before inevitably being shunned back inside.

the urge to review past books i've read a thousand times before in this lifetime is prominent, but i know i will perish before then.

[millers-planet]

The Vice and the Virtue - Part One

Pairing: Helmut Zemo x GN!Reader (later established as F following more parts)

A/N: i appreciate you guys so much for how quickly you blew up the sneak peak i did. it really motivated me to writing this

POV: Reader

Warnings: Fluff. Use of "Y/N". Angst?

Words: 2.3k

Description: How does one live a life of virtue when past vices begin arising after a successful jailbreak with untied ends?

It was terrifying as I watched my home be stripped of everything it knew, it was as if with every furniture upturned or removed, a piece of me was taken with it. It was the couch, the tables, the side-tables, the food from the fridge, everything. By this point, it wasn't our home anymore, it was the home. Everything was out of my control, I had no say in what the strangers robbed me of for their 'investigation'.

I was questioned for days about what he did, about why he did it, and if I was an accomplice. Fingers were pointed at me without any real reason behind them. I didn't even know what they were talking about, he simply told me it was a business trip or some family thing-- I don't remember but I wish I did. If I had, I might've been able to save myself the hassle of convincing everyone else that.

Zemo always wanted and always was isolated and by himself. While he had friends, or contacts as he called it, he preferred to be lonesome. By lonesome, that means either in a crowded place with no one with him, or at the house with me. It was something odd to get used to, but I never wanted to trade a day with him for a day with some people who call me their friend, only to turn around and talk bad on me.

Now, I'd trade all my days for just one more with him.

With the sun having just set and the aroma of freshly brewed tea filling the air, it became a good day. Until I saw on the news of a jailbreak that just occurred, several prisoners being injured and one-- a highly dangerous prisoner (as the news described it)--escaping. I saw that it was in Germany and I believed for just a second that it could've been him.

I was fortunate enough just to keep the home, after a few months of it being held hostage from me. With every night I slept here, the more desolate I began to feel, for I can't dare try and show my face to the world. I'm too afraid people will talk and say that I'm "the one who dated the man who destroyed the Avengers". Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but something doesn't feel right if I go out without him or if I just go out in general. It feels as if I've been under house arrest or exiled from the public for years.

It was another simple night, a warm one just cool enough to keep the windows open. I love hearing the sounds of the crickets outside the large bedroom windows accompanied by the occasional whispering the leaves made when wind made them rustle. The moonlight gazed perfectly onto the door, illuminating a path outward if I had to get up at some point; which I usually did because sleeping soundly was no longer an option. Though, I was almost asleep until the large hum of the garage being opened startled me.

Quickly, I turned on the bedroom lights and walked into the large, open main room that had stairs leading to the garage. I flicked on the lights and saw the shadow of a figure grow as it climbed to the top, the breath staying stagnant in my lungs. Should I grab a weapon? Should I find an escape route? All of these life-determining questions crossed my mind until I could comprehend who really was climbing the steps.

His eyes scanned the room, as if he was a child lost in the store looking for their parent, until his eyes finally met mine. All of his concerned features dropped into something softer, something kinder, something I never saw from him before. “Wha- Why are you here?” The ends of my mouth rose into the biggest smile I could possible create, without even realizing it.

“Didn’t I tell you I’d be back?” His strides were wide and swift as he made his way to me, cupping my face into his gentle hands and pressed a kiss to my lips. A kiss I have never felt before, it had a different feeling behind it, a different motive…

…He missed me.

I placed my hand over the one that laid carefully on my face, taking in every bit of him. I forgot how small wrinkles came down from the corners of his eyes, or how his cheeks curved in slightly. I forgot how when his features softened and when he gazed into me, my legs felt weak and butterflies filled my stomach. I forgot how much he loved me.

He pressed the smallest kiss to my forehead and looked back down to me. "I have some people for you to meet. We have guests." I didn't know what he meant until two large men came up the same steps. The small bubble of comfort and renewal was broken when Zemo's attention drifted from me and onto them. Despite those few moments being a few measly seconds, it felt longer than the years past.

The two men grew tense and one of them shouted, "Zemo who the hell is this?" Almost instinctively, as the two strangers approached me, he placed his arm in front of me. "So you're telling me not only are you rich, but you had a girl waiting for you the whole time?"

"You could say that, but I never asked her to wait or stay." He looked to me and the corners of his mouth rose ever-so-slightly. "Y/N, this is Sam Wilson and James Barnes, or Bucky." The metal-armed man raised his flesh hand when his name was called, almost like taking attendance.

I passed out cups of tea and coffee for the three men and sat down on the couch next to Zemo, trying to comprehend what the three of them were telling me. "Then after we realized that neither Sam or I really knew how to handle or hunt the super soldier serum, we decided to contact the one guy who does."

I looked at them clueless for a second, "but didn't Zemo frame you for assassinating a king? And cause the Avengers to break up?" Zemo looked at me and nodded, with a look that essentially said 'really? you had to bring that up?'

"Yes, yes the man did." The other man, Sam, was now talking. "After that, Tin Man over here decided to break Zemo out of jail, which I had no part in. Frankly, I still don't see why we need him." Bucky just stared at Sam from the metal remark. They looked like they were good friends but argued like a couple with marital problems.

The three of them went back and forth about what to do next, throwing out different names and places. I pulled my knees up to my chest and placed my drink down on the chestnut side-table next to me, remembering the way policemen ripped open the table and threw it around, the scuffs on the sides to prove it. The tugs they made on the drawers tugged on me as-well, making me lean my head against Zemo's shoulder. After all this time, he still kept his muscles, but to be fair he also had a lot of time on his hands the past few years.

Suddenly, a yawn escaped my mouth and I tried to stifle it. His attention quickly shifted to me and put the conversation at a pause. "If you would like, we can go to bed," the words made my heart simply explode. It was a simple action that I didn't even notice I missed so much, it had been so long that the idea of sleeping with someone else feels so foreign. Although, it's a humbly welcomed foreign experience.

I nodded quickly and stood up, realizing I should probably be a good host and give the two guests a place to sleep. "If you guys want to follow me, I can show you to your rooms." I led them down the hallway, trying to keep my feet of the floor as much as I could because it felt like ice. I don't remember the last time I was down here, I didn't really have a reason to. Opening two doors, I turned to face them, "here are your rooms. Bathroom is first on the left." Bucky smiled and nodded quietly.

Sam, on the other hand, went and said, "so is there a breakfast in bed option or will we have to go out there to a chef?" Bucky rammed his metal elbow into Sam's stomach and glared at him.

"Thank you, Y/N. And please ignore Birdy over here."

As I began to walk away from them I heard a quiet exchange of cursing. Looking back, the two were pushing each other and fighting to get towards the bathroom. Bucky eventually pushed Sam against the opposite wall, then ran into the bathroom, with a subtle click of the lock. Sam locked eyes with me, nodded his head down and shuffled into his room like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Those two are quite the duo," I murmured softly as I pushed open the bedroom door. I fully expected to see Zemo passed out from his endeavor from earlier, but it was a welcomed surprise when I saw him and the same look of bliss spread on his face as he sat on the end of the bed, having just changed into a simple t-shirt and sweatpants. Those same quick strides closed the gap between us, but this time he was softer and slower, as if he wanted to make up for lost time.

Starting at the bottom of my earlobe, his fingers traced my jaw, his eyes following them and scanning each and every one of my features. The way he stared and touched me reflected how touch-starved he really was all this time, turns out we were in the same boat but different countries. His gentle hand flowed from my ear, along my jaw, and when it reached my chin, he cusped my cheek. I leaned in nearly automatically into the touch, finally making eye contact when he looked at me.

With a small movement, he pressed a loving kiss to my forehead. "I never thought I'd be able to see you again. Or do that. Or do this," his other hand reached my cheek and brought me in for a kiss on my lips that was full of longing. "Or do this," he nudged my thighs and I jumped into his arms, now truly aware of what I was missing these past few years. Zemo set me down in the bed and got in next to me. "Or do this," he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in gently, holding me as tightly as he could without suffocating me.

Laying on his chest, I took in everything and couldn't imagine how I went so long without him. It felt like night and day. For so long I was living in the dark, completely isolated from the outside world and anything that could possibly hurt me anymore. Once he returned, he turned on the lights, he brought me back into the sunlight. I know he just got home but it feels like everything is back where it's supposed to be, like nothing ever changed. Somehow, with his return, the bed also feels softer.

"Why did you wait?" His sudden question caught me off guard. "I mean, I cannot say how excited I was to see you--but why didn't you move on?" I looked up and saw a confused expression, with his eyebrows furrowed together and lips pressed.

I didn't know how to answer him, how do I express everything I've felt these past years? How do I accurately tell him that after seeing my home destroyed and ransacked, the only thing I could think or do was to picture rebuilding it?

"When you were arrested, men came and took everything. They destroyed the house and didn't leave a single thing unturned. It was months before I could step back into the house and I think almost two years before I could begin the process of restoring it." I could feel his breathing slow down and become deeper, reminding me to pull myself together. "When I could finally put the pieces of the home back together, it didn't feel the same, because you weren't there. I wanted to try and go out but it wasn't right to go into the open world without you.

So, I waited. After watching strangers destroy the things I loved, and the things I had so many memories of, I could only think to fix it all and rebuild it all. But, I couldn't do that without you. I needed you. I need you."

With one movement, he changed our positioning so his face was now over mine, leaning over me. "What did I do to deserve you, meine geliebte," he spoke softly and pressed one final kiss to me and whispered with a smile, "shall we go to sleep now?" I nodded slowly and watched him get up to turn off the lights.

When we were sleeping, or when he was sleeping, all I could think to be was wide awake. Last time, he left suddenly during the day and promised to come home, I didn't know that previous night that he'd be disappearing from me. So, while he was in bed with his arm draped around my waist, holding me close and occasionally moving his arm to pull me closer, I was remembering every single thing.

I savored the way the sheets felt hotter than usual with him being home. I savored the way his breath against the back of my neck made me ticklish. I savored the way he moved his thumb in circles against my skin every few minutes, even when he was asleep. I made sure to remember how his heavy arms made it more difficult to breath. I couldn't bare to forget any of these things, so when he leaves again, I'll remember.

But right now, he's home.

He's back at our home.

part two

get tagged - masterlist

tags: @blondekel77 @mysticdeerpolice @dexthtoyounglings @anthrogothic @darlinloves @hollmarch

[emperor-palpaminty]

Bruh I am SOFT can I have Western Tech with Fluff prompt 20?

DOCTOR VICTOR TRECH THE THIRD HAS MY HEART, bless you anon, especially this prompt? i’m melting

Also I had to changhe names again, Shaeeah isn’t a very “western” name, Suu became “Sue”, and Jek is close enough I think so he’s good!

And for those of you who don't know the AMAZING creator of this AU @hellothere-generalangsty has started that Tech was GOING TO PROPOSE but the woman turned him down. Ouch. Naturally I will use this to make myself sad.

Prompt 20: “My, oh my. You’re such a beautiful creature.”

Tech rolled up his sleeves, tying off the stitch. “There.” He slowly clipped the string and set his needle in the sanitization bowl. “You’re all set.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Mrs. Laquwane smiled, her thick hair being tugged at by her son, Jek. “Are you feeling better, Shay?”

The girl nodded, glancing down at the puckered wound. "Will I get better?"

"Of course you will." Tech smiled gently, watching as Jek admired his sister's wound. "Ah, don't touch it, Jek." Sue tossed her son a frown, before turning back to Tech. "Here." He handed her a small jar, tapping on the lid. "Apply that to the cleaned surface every night. If you need more, let me know. I'll drop by next week to examine the stitches."

Sue smiled, pushing one of her thick braids over her shoulders. "Thank you, Tech."

“Of course, Mrs. Laquwane.” Tech smiled politely, nodding, as Shay grabbed her bonnet, examining the stitched in her arm again. “You have brave children.”

Jek tugged on his mother’s second braid, eyes gleaming in their sly, childish way. “Can I get stitches too?”

“Oh, heavens, I hope not.” Sue sighed as Tech chuckled, shaking his head slightly, waving politely as the trio left. He leaned on the doorway, chest swelling with pride- another long day of good work was done. A grin that only emerged when he felt like he had a genuine job well done fought its way onto his face as he ducked back into his office.

Tech slowly rolled up his things. He tugged the curtains shut and picked up his bag, sighing softly as he plunked his hat onto his head. Tech tucked his key into his pocket, shutting the door as he slowly began the trek home - just a few streets away.

It was only beginning to darken when he reached the inn. He nodded to Cid and tugged the watch from his pocket. He swelled with pride, examining the elaborate design on the clasp and the cover of the face. The time stated it was only now past six-fifteen, and he was late.

Cid frowned, puffing on her cigar. "You're late."

He offered a small smile, taking the little stack of mail she offered him. "I understand that."

She chuckled, tucking the cigar into her mouth. "Need some company? I bet one of the girls would-"

"No, I am quite alright." Tech spoke quickly, face flushing. "Thank you." Her laughter followed him up the stairs.

He unlocked his room, walking in, pausing briefly to light the oil lamp. The flame caught, and he blew out the match gently. He dropped the medical bag on his bed, sinking into the mattress with a soft creak. 

He turned over envelopes, skimming the names on them. Some were letters from family, a letter from one of his Universities (probably inviting him to lecture), and one was...

The light spilled on the cream envelope, dripping like blood. The name alone made his throat dry. Miss Sawyer, he swallowed, fingers trembling. He opened the letter, shakily.

His face was warm, eyes unbearably hot reading the words- palaces of paragraphs, telling Victor how wonderful life was and how it wasn't the same without him. She had told him he wasn't enough when he had gotten on one knee. That being a doctor's wife was not suitable for a woman of her stature- and here she was, months later, pouring an arsenic-laced honeyed apology into a leaf of paper.

Tech stood, abandoning the letter on his bed. He took no time to try and tug his overcoat back on, or button his waistcoat- he just flew down the stairs, past Cid, tears blearing his eyes, throat chapped as he tore towards the stables.

It was about twenty minutes into the ride when he knew where he was going, horse slowly manuvering up the red hills, caked with rocks. He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the mane of the horse, inhaling its scent of alfalfa and leather. The horse knickered softly, pausing in it's canter as a dog barked.

Tech glanced up, pushing a hand in his sweat-slicked hair. The door to the house was thrown open, warm light pouring out into the falling night, and the herbalist ran out, a bulky jacket thrown on over her coat. She ran towards him, not walked, ran, her hair loose instead of pulled into a bun or braids. Her eyes shone even in the darkness as Tech climbed off the horse. "Doc, what-"

No words came from him. He reached out, collapsing against her, leaning down aw(wardky and pressing his face into her shoulder, every shaky breath inhaling the old smell of her jacket- smoke, pipe smoke, and vanilla. He clutched her, his breathing hitching.

She was secure, safe. He needed only her.

The herbalist only paused for a moment before closing her arms around him, vocalizing no objections. They stood together, the light at her back, and he steadily found his shakey feet on the steady ground of her.

Tenderly, she tugged away. "Let's go inside." She said, gently. "I have some tea, and a fire." Her lips pressed into a smile, and she nodded in encouragement, leading him to the warmth of her house, her home.

___

The couch was comfortable, Tech found, curled up, with the Herbalist handing him a cup of tea. He took a small sip, mumbling his thanks as she plopped down next to him, the heavy coat still on her shoulders. She watched him, eyes softened in the glow of the fire. "You've been crying."

He drew in a sharp breathe and started into the tea, the water bruising with leaves and their colors and he nodded. "Yes," He managed. He blinked to help bring some comfort to his dry eyes.

She crossed her legs, watching him. "You wanna talk about it?"

Tech glanced up from the cup, eyes scanning her face. "No," The doctor rasped. "I don't."

"Mm," She hummed, standing softly. Tech stared up at her as she moved, lowering her cup. "I can leave you alone-"

"No." Tech moved quicker than he could think, moving to her, crashing to his knees and grasping the skirt of her nightgown. "I can't be alone," His words were short of air, shallow. "Not again, not again."

He didn't want to look up. He just wanted to keep his face in her nightgown skirts, holding them- holding her- and forget what he had been running from. Hell, he had forgotten, the moment he saw her riding up to his stagecoach, like an angel of battle, and the only thing stirring in him was an overwhelming sense of her.

She moved her hands in his hair, shushing his cries. "Victor," She said, and the way she said it broke him. That concern, that love-

Quietly, she slid to her knees, too, and hugged him to her. "I'll stay, I'll stay with you. Or you can come sleep with me again." A rack happened in her lungs and she shook her head quickly. "Like last time. When I put my head in your lap-"

Tech picked his head up and kissed her, fingers winding in her coat. Her words were cut short by his kiss, the fire, the need in it. She hummed and pressed her hands in his hair, tugging him closer, tighter, and Tech felt like the fire- warm, hot, needy, comforting- his lust and his love were an oxymoron within themselves.

She pressed herself away, chest rising and falling against Tech's as her fingers brushed down to his waistcoat. Her eyes darted to his own, and she licked her lips, the delectible tongue peeking out from the supple fresh-kissed lips.

Tech ran his hand down the side of her face, the warmth exploding in his heart. "My, oh my," He sighed. Her skin was rosy, flushed from the kiss, cheeks the tint of rose-hips. "You're such a beautiful creature."

She sighed, leaning into him as he tugged her close, surrendering to his kisses.

Tech was done running for his past- he had found his future, here, in his arms.

[lis-likes-fics]

Intoxicated

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Reader Word Count: 7,877 words. JFC. I know, I know Warnings: Alcohol use, drug use, accidental overdose, and a lot of angst. Author’s Note: Okay.... I know. I got a little bit carried away again. Bite me. This is part two of Concussed. I’m super happy with it.

~~~~~

Y/N sighed as she stepped out of her car. Carlisle gave it to her after the accident, her car had exploded after the wreck. She didn't think Jacob would be able to fix that.

She just came back from her day at work at the Carver Café. She'd already graduated and decided to get a job for the money, but mostly just to keep her busy during the day when Carlisle was at work.

She locked the car and walked up to her door, digging in her bag for her keys while moving a strand of hair from her face. When her hands wrapped around the keys, she unlocked her door and walked inside, kicking off her shoes while closing the door behind her.

She set her bag on the table, picking up her phone to call Carlisle after her long day of work. The phone rang a few times as she waited, taking the dollar bills and loose change from her bag and moving it to her money jars.

When the phone didn't pick up, she furrowed her brow and called again. He never missed a call.

When the phone didn't pick up the second time, she started to get worried. She walked to her kitchen, stopping at the door as she looked at the counter. There was a paper, a letter.

She eyed it, wondering what the letter could have said. She saw the flawless signature at the bottom, Carlisle.

Why didn't he call or tell her in person?

She picked up the note and read it carefully:

"My dearest, Y/N,

There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart because our hearts have come to dwell together as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Loving you is the only thing that makes my life worth living now.

I love you and I always will until my existence may come to an end. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.

You gave me comfort and confidence where there was doubt. I want to be there when you need to talk. I want to be the comfort for your soul. I want to love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I need you to be a part of my life. All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true.

But I can't be here for you without putting you in danger. You are my love, my life, my heart, my soul, and my everything. If I were to be the reason you get hurt, or worse, I would never be able to forgive myself.

So my family and I are leaving. In time, I hope you are able to move on and find someone who makes you feel whole, who makes you feel better than I ever could. You are a strong woman, so you don't need me. I know that you have the strength to pull through this so you can live a full, happy, and safe life.

I'm sorry for any pain I have ever caused you, I'm sorry for any pain I may cause you. I love you, and I will always love you.

Goodbye, my love.

Forever yours, Carlisle."

Her brain worked to process the letter, trying to let the words sink in. When they did, they hit her hard. It was worse than the car crash, the pain sinking into her body, followed by a cry.

Her legs came out from under her, unable to hold her up and support her. Tears sprang to her eyes and were instantly free falling. A strangled cry left her throat and she dropped the note.

Her head was buried in her legs. She didn't know how long she was there crying. The pain blinded and deafened her. All she could hear was his voice repeating "We're leaving."

Her whole being hurt, she felt her heart being torn in two.

He called her strong. He said she would be able to move on, in time.

He must have not realized just how self-destructive she was. He had become her life and he was leaving her. How could she move on from that?

"I don't want to lose you." Those were the words he told her that same night. Why was he leaving her without those words hanging in the air?

Why would he leave her?

~

Months had passed. Y/N was a wreck. She attempted going to the Cullen's house to see if it was some sick joke, but she could bring herself to go. She couldn't face the emptiness of that place.

She tried to check up on Bella, but she decided against it. Her mental health was crumbling, she would never be able to help Bella.

Y/N focused on work at the diner. Everyone noticed how lifeless she had become in such a short period of time. She was visibly deteriorating.

When she wasn't at the diner working herself to death, taking double shifts, triple shifts, quadruple shifts to keep her distracted, she was at her home with a bottle of something strong.

Since she lived next to the Chief, she was one of the people in town who people usually knew. Charlie had some sort of guardian responsibility over her after her grandfather died, people knew her.

Because of this, she had to drive all the way to Port Angeles to get her bottles of sweet drunkenness. The longer she was sober, the longer she had to deal with thinking of him.

She didn't want to think of him. Thinking of him meant thinking of him leaving her. Which led to some eternal outlet that would lead to the end of her existence.

She didn't like thinking of him.

If he would just come back to her, she would finally be okay. All she needed was for him to come back.

But that would never happen. He left, he's gone.

Y/N plopped down on her couch, a glass in her hand and a bottle sitting on the table for her refill. She searched through the TV to find something to watch. There had to be something to distract her, something to watch drunk. She knew better after learning from her mistake the first time she got drunk with the door unlocked and her keys in hand.

It was a long day of waiting for her bus back home. She had no idea how she wound up in Montana, but she did.

There was a knock on her door and she groaned loudly, hiding the alcohol in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, putting the jug of dish soap in front of it.

There was another knock on the door and she spoke in the clearest voice she could manage, "I'm coming."

She sighed and grabbed a bottle of water and a mint before opening the door. Bella stood on the other side, bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep and that spark she used to hold gone. Y/N was surprised to see her out of her house or school, she wasn't really active these days.

"Hey, Y/N. Sorry to come over like this," she said, looking at her.

Y/N shook her head, "No problem. Come in."

"Thanks," Bella mumbled as she walked into the house. Y/N scratched her head before closing the door, seeing Bella standing awkwardly in the world.

"Please, sit down," she told her, having a seat herself on her couch.

Bella took the offer, sitting in the chair next to the couch. Y/N asked hesitantly, "How are you holding up?"

Bella chuckled humorlessly, "I don't really want to talk about that."

"Yeah," Y/N muttered, "Me, neither." She stood with a sigh, headed to the kitchen to get a snack or something. "How are your nightmares?" Y/N asked, tripping slightly when she got to the threshold of the kitchen. She muttered a curse word under her breath.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, concerned about the slip up. Y/N nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine." Despite her best efforts, the slight slur in her tone had managed to escape as she grabbed a bag of chips and poured it in a bowl, taking it back to the living room.

She sat back down on the couch and Bella nodded strangely, "My nightmares are…just the same as they usually are."

Y/N sighed, "Yeah, Charlie tells me sometimes. Says he's wearied- worried about you. Wants me to try and help but… if it's anything like me… I won't be able to."

Bella furrowed her brows, looking at her closer. Bella blinked and shook her head, "Y/N, are you...drunk?"

Y/N looked at her, shaking her head quickly, "What? No! No, I'm not-I'm not drunk. I'm fine… I'm perfectly…completely…fine."

She looked down at a small dog figurine on the table to distract her before looking up to meet Bella's gaze. Tears began to make their way to her eyes, one managing to slip as her lip quivered slightly. She sighed and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm… a mess."

She couldn't stop the tears now, so she opted to ignore them. A downside to her being drunk was the spontaneous decision to either be void of emotion or ambushed with it. She always either ended up crying herself to sleep or staying up almost all night long before passing out with an hour of sleep under her belt.

She wiped a tear away, "I don't know what to do. Sobriety makes me think of him and I don't want to do that…"

Bella understood, nodding her slowly as she turned away, her own eyes filling with tears as she sympathized her pain with her own.

"I don't have anyone. My parents are dead, my grandfather is dead. I don't have any other family and I'm here alone," Y/N shook her head, sniffling and turning away from Bella completely.

Bella was always easy to talk to. She didn't judge, she didn't criticize. She would sit and listen and just be there, as a friend should.

Bella nodded, "For what it's worth, you'll always have Charlie and me."

Y/N took in those words. Charlie was always right next door when she needed him, no matter how little that was. He was there, his door was always open. Bella knew the same things Y/N did, so they could empathize with each other. They'd become somewhat family to her.

She just wished she could have her life back. He left with that.

"Thanks, Bells," Y/N told her gently. She looked around her house before her eyes landed on Bella again as she wiped her face, "Uh, can we keep this under wrap? No one in town knows and I want to keep it that way."

Bella nodded, "Won't tell a soul."

"Thanks."

For quite a while that night, the two allowed each other company and open ears. It was nice to have someone who knew, someone who knew.

No one else knew about her relationship with him. She was just out of high school, it would be strange if they got together when he was supposed to be in his late twenties to early thirties, at least to the humans.

Y/N fell asleep sometime after Bella had. It was late and they were both tired, Y/N especially.

When Bella started screaming in her sleep, Y/N bolted up quickly, easing her awake and telling her she was dreaming. Bella apologized heavily and Y/N told her not to worry. She found herself having nightmares of her own some nights.

Bella went back home after she'd woken up and Y/N poured herself a glass before trying to catch sleep of her own.

She went to her bed after cleaning up and was able to pass out from exhaustion. When she dreamt, she couldn't tell how much she wanted to.

Her dreams were the same for months.

~

"Y/N," her name was called by a voice she never thought she would hear again. She looked around in search of the angelic voice she had missed so much, "Where are you?"

She ran, searching frantically. She couldn't find him, he wasn't anywhere in reach. All she could hear was her name being whispered, as if carried in the wind.

"Where are you? Please!" She called, desperate to see her love again. She needed him, she couldn't go on without him.

"Please! Carlisle, come back!" She called, the name falling off her lips like both honey and poison. She couldn't tell which one. It was a bittersweet taste that drove her mad to think about.

"Please!" She cried, "I need you!"

"Y/N," his voice was closer now. She turned to see him, afraid that, if she wasted time, he would be gone again.

Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn't feel any different. When she saw his face, it was somehow paler than it normally was. His eyes were dark and tired, his hair was a mess. She stared at him in shock.

She reached a hand out to touch him. But just as her hand touched his cheek, he was gone.

"No, Carlisle!" She yelled, panting as she woke in a cold sweat. Tears covered her face and sweat covered her body.

She bent over and sobbed, her face buried in her knees as she let out the pain she was feeling that curled in her chest like a snake coiled around its prey. Pain filled her head as her headache ripped through her with a vengeance from both the drunkenness and the tears.

It was hard to breathe through her tears when everything hurt so much. It felt like she was being ripped open from the inside. Saying his name out loud only brought back to memories she worked so hard to drown out with alcohol.

Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much. Her throat hurt from sobbing. She stood and headed downstairs, pushing past her bottles of dish soap to grab the alcohol bottle waiting for her.

She wished he would just come back to her. She wished he would bring back her heart, be with her again so she could stop hurting. Y/N just wanted him back.

~

Weeks past since this, she was no better. No one thought she would be. She dragged herself to her kitchen for a drink and something to eat.

Her hands grabbed at air as she dug through the cabinet under the sink and she sighed heavily. Y/N turned regrettably, her last bottle was in the trash. She'd finished it last night.

Y/N groaned loudly and stood, replacing her drink with water. She checked her phone, she had the day off of work. So no work to distract herself.

She knew she would be heading out of town today, so she made a checklist of things she would need.

Dinner. She needed food, her fridge was empty. She worked so late that she forgot to go to the store. She sniffed and sighed, she'd go later on today.

She also needed to do her laundry before it piled up. She would do that first and head into the city when that was finished.

The day was long and sober. She couldn't escape her own thoughts as she was left thinking of him with every move.

She hadn't seen Bella lately. All she knew was that she was hanging out on the reservation quite a lot with Jacob. She wondered if that's where she was right now. She especially hadn't seen Bella in the past couple of days.

Y/N would have joined her on the Rez with Jacob, but she thought it best not to. Bella needed this. She seemed better with Jacob around.

When the clothes were folded and put away and the laundry was all done, she headed out. She was running out of tolerance with sobriety.

The drive was about an hour as she came up on the grocery store. After the quick run, she went to the liquor store she always visited for her drinks.

"Ran out again?" The clerk asked as he checked her. She nodded, "Yep, I'm glad you've got me."

"Always do," he chuckled lightly before she paid and left. She went to her car, her bags on her arms as she sighed heavily.

"Psst," she turned around and saw a woman leaning against the side of the building. The woman gave a smile and asked, "Is the liquor satisfying you?"

She raised a brow and just stared back at the woman. She shrugged lightly, "I can give you something stronger. I've seen you around here a couple times a month, for the past six."

Y/N sighed, "I don't want what you're selling. I'm sad, not suicidal."

She laughed, "This stuff won't kill you, it'll just make you feel good. First time I tried it, I had a good time doing it. It'll make you feel real happy."

Y/N bit her lip and thought for a moment. She actually thought about it. She promised herself she wouldn't do anything worse than liquor, but even the liquor was losing its touch. She sighed, "What is it?"

"Just the happy stuff, give it a special name and you get cops on your back. It's nothing you need a needle for, if that's what you're worried about."

That was good. She hated needles. She bit down on her lip before asking, "Normally, it's two hundred."

Y/N's eyes widened slightly. The woman smirked, "But I'll make it one if I can have the best thing you got in there." She motioned to her bag and Y/N thought some more.

She nodded and grabbed her wallet, taking out the two fifties she had. She thought about it a little more, this was a big decision.

But she was too far gone to care. She sighed and handed it over, along with her best bottle, "Here."

The woman smiled and dug in her bag, pulling out a tiny baggy that held a large pill. Y/N grabbed it and put it in her pocket before turning to leave before she made any more big mistakes.

"Have fun," she said as she popped open the bottle.

Y/N got in her car and drove back home. Quickly unloading her food and liquor, she put everything up. She locked the door behind her as usual, grabbing a bottle and pouring herself a couple glasses.

She had completely forgotten about the pill in her pocket until she changed into short shorts and a t-shirt, the baggy falling out of the pocket.

She looked down at the pill, putting a little more thought into it. Unfortunately, it was hard to think. She was already drunk, she got better at downing her liquor with each cup.

But that's why she bought it, wasn't it?

She picked up the pill and sighed, putting it on her tongue and swallowing it, following it with liquor.

The pill worked quickly. At first, she could see how the pill made you feel "happy". She was dancing around her house, tripping over things and enjoying herself.

Then her pulse sped up and she felt nauseous, but she couldn't feel herself puking. Nothing was coming up, she only had the feeling.

When her energy went down dramatically, so did her pulse. She bumped into the table in the living room and tripped slightly.

She got back to her feet, her vision blurry. She was sweating like crazy and she felt horrible. Then she tripped behind the couch, her head fuzzy and her body numb.

Her mouth started foaming a little, her vision fading in and out. She didn't know when she passed out, but she did. She kept coming back to consciousness, but it was hard to feel. Her body hurt, but she couldn't move.

The door opened at some point as her eyes opened lazily. She couldn't see anything, she still had foam coming out of her mouth. It tasted disgusting.

She tried to make a sound or move, but she couldn't. She heard the footsteps but her eyes closed again and she faded out.

~

The door swung open and his eyes widened as he saw Y/N laying behind the couch, foaming at the mouth.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, kneeling beside her as he tried to listen closely to her heartbeat. It was slow, too slow. If he could cry, he would have.

He placed his cool hand on her cheek, "Y/N, love, wake up. Please."

He looked up and rushed to her bathroom, searching through her cabinet in search of something to use. When he found the activated charcoal, he sighed in relief and snatched it.

He paused when she saw the antidepressants sitting next to it. It was mostly untouched, it didn't seem like it'd been used in months. She'd given up on them.

He frowned and swallowed hard before heading back downstairs to her. He opened her mouth and put one of the pills in her mouth, following it with water to get her to swallow it.

"Come on," he muttered to himself, "Swallow it. Please, take it."

She managed a small noise as she tried to mumble, but her lips barely moved. When he saw her swallow the pill, he nodded and sat her up against his chest.

"Come on," he said, "You'll be okay. It's okay." He picked her up and set her on the couch, her head propped up on a pillow. "You'll be okay," he told her, his face was pained as he watched her.

He stayed with her, giving her a little bit of water at a time after wiping her mouth of the foam and sweat.

He could hear her heartbeat return to normal, the sweat died down and he laid a blanket over her. He sighed with much relief as she slept. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. This wasn't supposed to happen.

He looked around the house, the house he'd missed walking into. He saw the bottle of liquor and the cup on the table and frowned.

He turned to the kitchen, the fridge had food in it, but it wasn't as full as it needed to be. He sniffed the air and bent down in front of the sink, opening the cabinet to see the fresh bottles hiding behind the soap.

He sighed again, wiping his face before glancing back at her sleeping on the couch. He wandered around the home, trying to see what all was different. He went back to the bathroom to put the charcoal pills back in it. He picked up the bottle of antidepressants, looking at the date written on it.

It was sometime after he'd left.

After a while, he'd heard her scrambling downstairs, followed by a retching sound as she puked. He rushed downstairs to her, taking her hair in his hands to move it out of the way.

She jumped slightly at the touch but was too caught up in throwing up. When she was finished, she collapsed on the floor next to the trash, wiping her face.

He knelt in front of her, not sure if he should offer her a smile or a sad look. He gave her a sad smile to even it out.

Y/N blinked at him and muttered quietly, she was in shock and disbelief, saying his name still hurt. This was some illusion, he wasn't coming back.

"Carlisle?" She spoke, her voice wavering as she ready had tears welling in her eyes at saying the name and seeing him.

"Y/N," Carlisle sighed, reaching his hands out to touch her, "What happened to you? Why would yo-"

She cut him off, standing up as she flinched away from him. She thought him coming back would make everything better. She thought she would throw herself into his arms and tell him how much she missed him.

But she was just pissed.

"What the hell?!" She yelled, moving away from him, her eyes burning in anger.

Carlisle watched her, silently getting back to his feet. She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears, her voice wavering drastically.

"You leave me here alone and then show up after six months with no explanation? I thought you were never coming back! I spent weeks trying to convince myself that you would return and then it turned into months and I lost all hope of ever seeing you again," she sobbed.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I was trying to keep you sa-"

"Keep me safe?" She scoffed, "That's not an excuse, Carlisle. I wish it was, but it isn't." She shook her head and another round of sobs left her, shaking through her violently.

Carlisle hated seeing her cry like this, he hated seeing her so broken. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"You left me here alone. I didn't think you would ever come back. I thought I meant nothing to you."

He tried again, "Y/N-"

"I'm not finished," she told her. She hadn't raised her voice, she had strained it by crying and she knew she wouldn't have to raise it to stop him. He would listen to her.

"I thought you loved me. That's what you told me," she shook her head before allowing herself to look up at him.

"I do love you," Carlisle told her quickly. He couldn't bear the thought of her not knowing that he loved her.

"Then why did you leave?" The room fell silent as she stared him down. He looked away from her, he couldn't take the look in her eyes as she stared at him. They were heartbroken, beaten, she looked hopeless and broken. She continued, "You could have brought me with you, or just stayed. You hurt me, Carlisle. You were supposed to protect me, but I needed protection from myself and you weren't here to give it."

She fell silent and Carlisle hesitated to look up at her, but he did. She was still staring at her feet, tears dropped from her eyes as her lip quivered uncontrollably. Something in him made him move closer to him, his arms out for a hug. He just wanted to calm her, to help her, to wrap his arms around her to tell her that he was here and would never leave her again.

But he couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed, holding her arms around herself. She looked back down at her feet with blurry vision.

Carlisle's eyes held grief, pain, and sorrow. He didn't like seeing her like this. This wasn't supposed to happen.

Y/N sighed heavily and went to her couch, sitting down and pouring a glass of scotch. Carlisle was by her side in a split second, his hand grabbing the bottle and pulling it from her grip.

"You shouldn't be putting this stuff in your body, you almost just died because of it. You've polluted your blood, it smells different," he told her gently.

Y/N didn't look at him, she stated at her glass and sighed, "You... get no say… in what I choose to put in my body."

Without looking at him, she grabbed the bottle again and poured her drink, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. He looked away from her, unable to watch her do this to herself. Or rather what he did to her.

As she drank the liquid, it burned down her throat. She expected it to calm her nerves as it always had, but she only grew self-conscious. Having him see her like this, down at her lowest low as she downed a glass of alcohol, she felt unclean and poisoned. She felt invaluable and dirty. She felt like she had lost all of her importance sitting next to him so hopelessly.

She set her glass down soundlessly, standing up from her spot on the couch to get to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would help to cleanse some of that feeling out of her.

But it didn't. Sure, the water was refreshing, but it didn't help.

Carlisle spoke into the silence, eyes glued to a picture hanging on the wall where she was smiling brightly with her late grandfather. She looked so happy in that picture, a vast contrast to how she looked now.

"I spent every day wishing I was with you. I wanted to come home but I didn't think it was safe. I thought I was putting you in danger simply by being here," Carlisle admitted sadly. His honey smooth voice was clear but anything was calm. It was sad. If he was capable of it, it would have broken multiple times throughout his words.

She sunk down to her knees as he spoke, she didn't want to look back up at him as he spoke, her head against the wall. She didn't look over. "You put me in danger by not being here…" she said softly, "I thought I lost the one I loved the most. It hurt. It especially hurt thinking that the one I loved the most didn't love me." Her voice cracked at the end.

He turned to her, but she did not turn to meet his gaze. It hurt too much to look at him. "I do love you. In all my years, I've never loved like I do with you. You're my everything. I never meant to hurt you."

"All you had to do was stay," she shook her head as she spoke, still refusing to look up at him. She brought her legs in front of her and tucked them to her chest, setting her chin on her arms.

The room fell back into uncomfortable silence. She stared at the cabinet filled with liquor in disgust, thinking back to the pill she took earlier that night. How could she be so stupid?

She swallowed hard as she felt another lump in her throat, more tears threatening to spill. Carlisle licked his lips and closed his eyes, "All I wanted to do was help people. I dedicated my whole existence to doing just that. Then I find someone as special as you and hurt the person I wanted to protect the most."

Carlisle was gone in the next second. He'd left so quickly, there was no sound from the door opening or closing behind him. She saw lights flash outside her window as he started his car, pulling out of the driveway and leaving her alone in her house.

Y/N's face scrunched as tears left her. They streamed down her face, her eyes puffing once again and her body shook. She thought over their conversation in her head. She was too hard on him, she knew that. She should have accepted him and let him make everything okay.

But she didn't, she pushed him away. Even after he just saved her life…again.

"Carlisle," she said. She hadn't spoken his name in months, it hurt too much to say. But after seeing him again, knowing he was real, after all. It was so good to say his name again, it was a release she didn't know she needed. She repeated his name through her sobs, like playing a broken record. It felt so good.

She didn't know how long she was crying. She grabbed the scotch bottle off the table and began to bring it to her lips before stopping. She sighed and looked at the bottle. She shook her head, turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain.

There was a small part of her that was screaming at her to stop, to think about what she was doing, but that part was too small against this new need, this old and new desire in her body.

This desire to make it up to Carlisle.

She couldn't go on the way she was, she knew it wasn't healthy from the start, but she didn't care because it was a distraction, it made her feel somewhat good.

But she was going to do her best to be worthy of his love again. Hopefully, getting rid of the pollutant, the poison she'd been giving herself would make up for an inkling of the harm she inflicted upon him.

She didn't care that he hurt her now that she had hurt him. She just needed to make it up, and she would spend the rest of her life doing that.

She grabbed every bottle she had, pouring it down the sink. With each drop down, she felt unsure of herself. Would she be able to stick it out? This was what she used to cope, this was what she had been using for strength these several months.

Her instincts tried to make her stop what she was doing, but she needed to change her instincts. She needed to get them back to how they were. She needed to be strong for Carlisle.

When the liquor was gone, she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt this strange freedom, this strange pride in her being. She was proud of herself, but only a little bit. It wasn't enough to make her crack any type of smile.

She threw all the liquor bottles in the trash, getting rid of her demon. When she was finished, it was roughly five in the morning. She was practically dead on her feet.

She had terrible sleep over the past couple of weeks, it was so bad that she resulted in not sleeping at all in the past few days.

She was really dizzy and she felt herself swaying, struggling to keep her on her feet. Normally, she would just down a glass of liquor and keep running on that. But seeing as she had just disposed of every single drop she had, that wasn't an option.

Another reason for being so tired? She neglected her body of the water she needed to survive. She was extremely dehydrated.

In short, her body was barely holding on to what little life it held.

She shook her head and declared herself awake, headed to the door to go to Carlisle. She needed to see him. She needed to be with him and reassure him that they would be okay. They had to be okay. She couldn't lose him twice.

However, she didn't make it past the couch before she collapsed, falling to the floor as she passed out instantly.

~

She might as well start getting used to being woken by people because she collapsed on the floor. Bella was waking her up anxiously, Charlie by her side-- he was probably the one who got the locked door open. Both Charlie and Carlisle had a key.

"Y/N, wake up!" She exclaimed. Y/N's eyes opened slowly and she saw the two hovering over her, fear written across their faces. They relaxed a little when she opened her eyes fully and slowly sat up. She had a pounding headache, though.

"What happened, kid?" Charlie asked, helping her sit up.

Y/N laughed humorlessly, "I guess I was so tired I passed out." She was dizzy as she looked around the room. She struggled to her feet, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge to try and soothe herself.

When her vision settled and she wasn't seeing four Swans in her house, she sighed. Charlie looked over at the trash can filled with liquor bottles.

"What is this?" He asked, eyeing her with a hint of disappointment.

She spoke quickly, "I wasn't drinking any." She thought with the speed of a vampire. She'd spent so much time with the Cullens, she'd picked up on their ability to lie so quickly, "I saw them near the house just laying there, I think someone dumped them, so I threw them away. I passed out because I got tired and dehydrated from so much work at the diner."

He nodded and thought about her answer. It was a legitimate answer to him. He's known this girl her whole life, she wouldn't drink that much, especially at 19. But, in her defense, she would be twenty soon.

He nodded and told her, "Just…be careful, you scared me, kid."

She gave him a reassuring look, forcing a smile, "I will, Chief."

He nodded to her again and looked between her and his daughter before turning to leave them alone, it looked like they had something to talk about.

When he was gone and well out of earshot, Bella rushed to her quickly, "Are you insane? Edward told me what you did. Overdose, really?!"

Y/N sighed, "It was an accident. I was getting… really bad… and someone offered and I was too far gone. It was one pill but I was drunk and it didn't go well… He found me and helped me. We argued and I'm just… I'm trying to fix it."

She watched her as she spoke, she believed every word she said. Y/N was in no position to lie to her at the moment. Bella sighed, "Get some sleep first, at least. I know I can't tell you what to do but you fainted, so I think we can both agree that you need to sleep before you turn into ash or something."

Y/N sighed and agreed to at least that. She knew she needed sleep before she passed out while driving to the Cullen's and really died.

She got in the shower to soothe her body and release some of the tension in her muscles. She'd been so stressed lately and last night with seeing Carlisle for the first time in over six months, arguing with him, and almost dying (technically almost dying twice), she needed a healthy outlet.

After the long shower, she was able to get herself to drift into sleep. After seeing Carlisle again, her nightmares calmed down and allowed her a dreamless sleep. It was nice to have sleep, she hadn't gotten much of it in a long time.

~

After getting healthy sleep, even if it was only three hours, sleep was sleep, she quickly ate to calm her growling stomach.

She was grabbing her keys when her phone rang. She sighed and turned to pick it up, "Hello?"

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay. Charlie told me what happened," Billy’s voice said on the other end.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Didn't mean to worry anybody," she told him. She internally sighed. Word spread quick around Forks, she would be surprised if the whole town called to ask if she was okay. But she would rather answer that many phone calls in one day.

Billy wasn't the last to call either. As soon as the call ended, the phone rang again as another person contacted Y/N to make sure she was alright.

What a great town this was to show their concern for her.

At the wrong times.

By the fifth call, she decided to just email all of the people she knew would be calling who hadn't called yet. She wrote the email, reassuring everyone that she was A-OK and didn't need any help. That seemed to shut up the phone and she was able to leave.

She groaned loudly when she looked at the time again. It was already late as it struck five in the evening.

She waited a few more minutes to make sure the phone didn't ring again before getting in her car. During the car ride, she kept herself hydrated, learning from her mistake. She wasn't too keen on fainting from lack of hydration or sleep.

She sped down the familiar path to the Cullen House. She wanted to get there quickly, she had wasted enough time with her mundane activities. She needed to see him.

When she came through the trees and pulled into the Cullen's driveway, she got out before the keys were even out of the ignition. Y/N walked up to the house, seeing Carlisle standing in a window. He saw her and, even from where she was standing, she could see something in eyes when he met hers.

She swallowed hard and held her arms out in front of her, a proposal. He zoomed out of the window and out of the house. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

She instantly broke down again, she was getting tired of crying. Her arms held him to her, never letting go. She was so afraid that if she left go of him, she'd lose him all over again. She couldn't go through that twice.

Even if it wasn't the same as before, it was still her scent Carlisle breathed in as he hugged her tight, careful not to crush her. Everyone else must have been out hunting if they hadn't shown up by now.

Y/N let out a sharp breath before sucking another back in, sobbing into Carlisle's chest. He felt good. He felt like home. She was home.

She let out a breathy laugh and sniffled, letting him hold her to him. It was as if all of their troubles had washed away so that this moment was the most special of all.

Y/N pulled her head out of the crook of his neck just so she could kiss him. She missed him more than anything, she missed his hugs, his kisses, his words of love. This was perfect.

They were wrapped up in their moment, wrapped up in each other. It felt so amazing to have their lives back. They were home again.

She breathed deeply, holding the breath in as her lips moved in sync with her mate's. She then let the breath out in a moan, but she was too focused on the moment to let the sound embarrass her. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.

He pulled away enough to speak, still so close that he spoke against her lips, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."

She shook her head, "Stay." She didn't care about what happened, she cared about what can happen.

He smiled, "I will." It was her turn to bring him back into the kiss, kissing him deeply and passionately. It had been too long since she felt his touch.

When her mind came back to her drinking briefly as she spoke into his lip, "I'm quitting."

"Good," he smiled, once again kissing her. They weren't going to waste any time to be near each other, touch each other, love each other.

When the kiss slowed, she took a deep breath in, his scent filling her senses. She missed his scent. She opened her eyes to stare in his, they were beautiful, honey gold, sparkling as he gazed at her. She missed those eyes. She expected them to be darker like they were last night, but they were just as golden as the sun.

She smiled, her first genuine smile in months. He smiled back at her, captivated by her. Their foreheads were still pressed together and they swayed slightly, reveling in each other.

Y/N spoke, intoxicated by him, "I love you." Her words were a whisper, a breath that delivered the sweetest of air.

Carlisle beamed down at her, a light laugh escaping his throat as he gazed at her, his face looking like he was going to cry while his eyes stayed clear of any tears. "I love you," he told her sincerely. The only thing they could think of doing after the heartwarming confession was to kiss each other again.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning again at the feel of his body against hers. She felt amazing with him.

He set her on the hood of her car and continued to kiss her, mumbling against her lips, "I'm going to marry you one day."

She smiled, "What's keeping you back?"

"Absolutely nothing," he told her genuinely.

They stayed like that, just kissing each other's pain away the best they could. There was no way they could ever leave each other's sides. After the ordeal they just went through, they could never.

He told her in that soft, smooth voice she missed with all her being, "I will never leave you again. No matter what, I will always be right here with you. I love you."

"I know," she replied just as gently, "I love you. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me. I love you so much."

The confessions were falling freely, leaving their lips faster than they could think. "After all this time, I still can't believe I'm yours. I can't imagine my life without you now, Carlisle. I obviously wouldn't last. If you hadn't stepped in, I'd be dead. Here I am, only living and breathing because you were here to care for me."

"I don't want to lose you, Y/N," he told her that same thing the first time they kissed. They held so much gravity then and they only seem to hold more now, "I don't know how I'd survive without you now. You're my life now and I will never let you go ever again. I promise you."

They thought they were going to be there forever confessing their feelings over and over again, drinking each other in with each kiss. They knew that they would eventually have to go inside and spare the others.

They went inside and eventually everyone came back from their hunting trip. They expressed how good it was to have her around again and how much they missed her. After a talk with Alice about how Carlisle knew she was in trouble, she went up to Carlisle's room with her hand grasped tightly in his.

There was a bed in his room that he had bought specifically for her so she could fall asleep in his arms. They were talking quietly with each other for a while before she finally fell asleep in his embrace.

He promised her that he would never ways protect her and that he would never leave her again, he promised that he loved her deeply, that he would always love her and he would always be here. He kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my darling. I love you."

She smiled in her sleep, holding him tighter as she allowed her dreams to run wild. It was the best sleep she'd had in what felt like forever as she held tightly to him, never once letting him go as she slept.

Carlisle could have sworn she heard her mumble his name in her sleep and he smiled, breathing in deeply to enjoy her presence.

She muttered to herself, lost in her dreams of him, "I love you, Carlisle…"

[refinedbuffoonery]

Looking Through A Window (2)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Oh man. My dudes. I received so much love and support and excited feedback on the first chapter that I thought my heart was going to explode. Y’all are so wonderful. Keep it up. <3

*****

Luckily, Matty lets them take the Phoenix jet to Houston. Flying commercial would make today even more tortuous than it already promises to be, albeit for a different reason. 

No matter how hard he tries to distract himself, Mac cannot stop staring at the diamond ring on Riley’s finger. The princess cut gem is stunning and ridiculously large, but it suits her cover as a lucrative arms dealer. A white gold wedding band sits below it. Riley left her usual assortment of rings at home, and Mac can’t help but think her long, delicate fingers look bare without them. 

He tears his eyes away from the rings again and again, both on the plane and while driving to the safe house. Riley drives with just her left hand, her right elbow resting on the center console. Mac likes driving, but there’s something relaxing about riding shotgun while Riley drives instead. He’s never been able to put a finger on it, but the sense of ease washes over him all the same. Admiring the way sunlight illuminates her engagement ring is simply a bonus. 

He doesn’t let himself imagine what he might give her, in an alternate future where she reciprocates his feelings and one day wants to marry him. 

Harley obediently lays in the backseat, staring out the windshield. She's been on her best behavior the entire twenty four hours Mac's known her, ever the professional. 

Which puts her completely at odds with Mac and Riley's shenanigans—cracking jokes, dancing on the plane and in the car, doing purposefully bad impersonations of Russ. These are the best parts of going on ops alone with Riley. They can let loose in a way they just couldn’t when anyone else other than Bozer was around. Everyone else is professional all the time; Mac and Riley are only professional when they have to be. 

Riley taps the steering wheel in time to the classic rock song on the radio. “What do you want for dinner?” 

“Dinner? We haven’t even had lunch yet!” 

“True.” Riley chuckles. “Can you tell I’m hungry?” 

Mac gives her a sly look. “Not at all.” 

They settle on Texas barbecue for lunch on their way to the safe house, because that’s what Jack would choose if he was here. If only the old man could see them now, all grown up and getting sent to take down terrorists unsupervised. 

Seated in a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Mac raises his brisket sandwich in a toast to Jack, in whatever afterlife he found himself in. Hopefully it’s the one with an endless supply of good barbecue. 

“Oh man, Jack would’ve loved this,” Riley says through a mouthful of food. She sneaks Harley a piece of brisket. 

Mac smiles. “Yeah, he would’ve.” 

It’s easier, now, to talk about him. At first, Mac hadn’t been sure he could ever get to a point where talking about Jack didn’t make him want to hit something or just curl up and sob. 

But here he is, on the other side. Him and Riley both. 

Their safe house is another twenty minutes away from the restaurant, in a nice neighborhood full of trees and children playing on the sidewalks. It’s so much greener than a California neighborhood could ever dream of being. There’s even a park across the street from their apartment complex. It’s exactly the sort of place a young, affluent couple would want to live. 

Riley parks in their designated space, and the pair ascend the stairs to apartment number 202. Outside of the car, they don’t dare use each other’s real names until they’re sure the apartment is free of bugs. The place was furnished earlier that week by other Phoenix agents, but Mac and Riley do a thorough sweep of every room just in case. 

It’s a nice apartment. Wood flooring, granite countertops, matching cabinets throughout. There are pictures on the walls, but Mac doesn’t bother to stop and check what they are. 

Riley clears the space from back to front, so Mac does the opposite. He clears the kitchen first, frowning at the absence of any sort of food, before moving on to the living room. 

Mac stops dead in his tracks when he enters the bedroom. The singular bedroom. With a singular, queen-sized bed. 

Oh no. This is not happening. 

Mac shakes his head and rubs his eyes, hoping his mind is just playing tricks on him and that there’s actually two beds. Or a whole other room he missed before. 

The one and only bed seems to mock him. 

He walks back out, finding Riley already sitting at the kitchen table, turning on her laptop. “Uhh, Riles? There’s only—”

“One bed,” she finishes, not bothering to look up. “I know.” 

Oh god. He can’t do this. He can’t. Not with his dignity still intact. Mac stammers, “I’ll, uhh, sleep on the couch. You can have it.”

That gets Riley’s attention. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re going to be here for weeks. You’ll hurt your back sleeping on the couch that long. Just sleep with me.” Riley’s eyes widen as she realizes what she just said. “In the bed,” she quickly adds. 

Mac ducks his head to hide his blush. 

“What are you working on?” he asks in a feeble attempt to distract himself from their sleeping situation. Because it will definitely be a situation if Mac’s not careful. 

“Connecting to the Wi-Fi,” Riley says in a slow, “What else would I be doing?” sort of way. 

“Right.” Mac silently curses himself. Of course that’s what she’s doing. “Anyway, I’m assuming you already know this, since you probably opened the fridge too, but we have no food.” 

“I saw.” She’s multitasking again, manicured fingers flying faster across her keyboard than Mac can keep track of. “Why don’t you unload our bags while I finish this, and then we can go.” 

Unable to help feeling like he’s been dismissed, Mac complies without protest. 

Soon they’re back in the car, headed to the grocery store, and the whole thing feels ridiculously domestic. Mac’s never been a fan of grocery shopping, but Riley makes it almost...fun. For starters, she’s not methodical about it the way Bozer and Desi are. But more than that, getting to spend time with her doing mundane, non-work stuff is a nice reminder that their relationship is more than just the job. They’re friends too. 

Mac wishes there is a way to tell her all that without it sounding weird. 

They come home, unload the groceries, and take Harley for a long walk, and that feels easy too. It feels normal, even though literally nothing about this situation is normal, and Mac already knows he’ll miss this when the op is over. 

But normalcy ends when Riley beckons Mac to sit beside her at the kitchen table, and together they write an advertisement for their arms dealing business. Once they’re satisfied with it, Riley sends it off into the dark web, and there’s nothing to do but wait, like a spider after spinning her web. 

The waiting is the worst part. 

Mac is contemplating taking Harley for a second walk when Riley asks, “Want to help me make dinner?” He takes one look at her hands on her hips and the “you don’t actually have a choice” look on her face and knows he’ll be left to fend for himself if he doesn’t help now. Mac learned that the hard way back when he and Riley lived together. 

“Sure.” 

They work in comfortable silence. Mac chops vegetables and grates cheese for their quesadillas while Riley does the actual cooking part. Even though they are doing separate tasks, Mac is acutely aware of every move Riley makes, no matter how insignificant. Flexing her long, thin fingers around a knife. Itching the back of her calf with her foot. Dancing in place, spatula in hand, while she waits to flip the quesadillas sizzling in the pan. 

Mac smiles softly. Her random little dances are cute. He’s noticed them more and more since realizing he has feelings for her, but if Mac is being honest, he’s always thought the dances are cute. 

Riley hisses as she peeks under the tortilla, checking to see if it’s browned yet. 

“You good?” Mac asks, frowning. 

“Yeah, I touched the pan by accident.” Riley runs her thumb under cold water. 

Her laptop dings while they eat. Wide-eyed, Mac glances at Riley. That was fast. She grimaces before sliding the laptop closer and checking the notification. 

“Is it them?” he asks tentatively. That’s the hard part about this; in order for their business to look more legit, they had to just put an ad out and hope for a response, rather than target the terrorist organization directly. 

Riley exhales. “No, it’s not them. It’s someone else.” 

Swallowing another bite of quesadilla, Mac says, “I don’t know whether I’m relieved or if that’s worse.” 

“Same.” 

There are no more responses that night.

*****

Mac wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in—on his side, facing outward, with as much space between him and Riley as possible. When they crawled into bed the night before, Riley did the same. 

Harley spent the night on the couch. 

She’s a very guarded dog, Mac is slowly realizing. Tolerating, but not trusting. Mac supposes he would be like that too if he was a dog and he got stuck with a bunch of strangers after his human suddenly disappeared one day. 

He makes coffee, feeds Harley breakfast, and takes a shower, all before Riley loses her battle with the snooze button and finally gets out of bed. While she showers, Mac takes Harley for a walk in hopes that the cool, spring air will ease the anxiety that took root the moment Riley released their ad into the void. 

It doesn’t. 

Dark, puffy clouds loom on the horizon, and the few birds Mac hears shriek at each other in warning. It looks like a storm is coming. 

When Mac returns, he’s met with a grim expression, one he understands without Riley uttering a single word. “They answered,” she confirms. 

“What did they say?” Unclipping Harley’s leash, Mac moves to stand behind Riley, resting his hands on the back of her chair. The scent of her shampoo tickles his nose, and he forces himself to ignore it and focus on what Riley’s saying. 

“They want to meet. Today.” 

“Time or place?” 

Riley points at a small box on her screen. “Just an address.” 

“What’s there?” 

“A warehouse,” Riley says. “Owned by the same shell corporation other Phoenix techs already tied to the organization.” 

“Not very clandestine, are they?” 

“No, they’re not.” Riley looks up at him, her head bumping his sternum, and butterflies ricochet inside Mac’s rib cage. There’s something soft in Riley’s expression that makes Mac want to kiss her. “Are you ready for this?” 

Mac sighs. “As ready as I ever am. Are you?” 

“Yeah,” she says, but her confidence falters. Without thinking, Mac squeezes her shoulders in reassurance before walking away to change.

*****

The warehouse is located on the edge of the city, in an industrial area that has certainly seen better days. Even from a distance, Mac can see cobwebs decorating the warehouse windows and rust creeping up the roller doors. Aside from Riley, there’s not another soul in sight. 

As per the directions the organization sent after Riley confirmed the meeting, Mac parks on the south side of the building, near the only functional-looking door. He doesn’t look at Riley as they get out of the car, instead desperately trying not to cringe at the cold, heavy weight of the gun holstered at his side, hidden beneath his jacket. 

High-end arms dealers couldn’t walk around unarmed, unfortunately. 

Although her hands are occupied with holding Harley’s leash, there’s a gun hidden beneath Riley’s suit jacket as well. Mac’s stomach churns. The second Riley emerged from their bedroom earlier wearing that jet black suit, she was a different person. She was wholly Genevieve Turner, and no matter how hard Mac tried, he couldn’t find even a single trace of his best friend beneath the icy exterior. 

Locking their SUV, Mac smooths the lapels of his own black suit and slips into character as well. 

The dark clouds Mac noticed earlier are directly overhead now. Mac has never believed in omens the way Jack did, but he can’t help hearing Jack’s voice in his head, warning him that black clouds are a sign of certain doom. Or something like that. 

There’s no one inside the warehouse, at least as far as Mac can see. “Hello?” he calls, the word echoing slightly in the open space. Aside from a few random wooden crates, the room is empty. 

A door slams, and then an older man comes into view. He’s probably in his late fifties, with graying hair and a beer belly his shirt doesn’t quite cover. The man swaggers like he owns the place, although Mac doubts the leader of a terrorist cell would deign to play tour guide. 

No doubt there’s a quip on the edge of Riley’s tongue about entitled white men, but she doesn’t share it. 

The man extends a hand to Mac in introduction. “Conrad.” His sneer doesn’t reach his eyes. 

Mac frowns, keeping his hands at his sides. “Last name?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

What he’s about to say might screw everything up before it even starts, but Mac says it anyway. In his gut, he knows it’s the right call. “If it doesn’t matter, then we’re done here. My wife and I have no interest in entering a business relationship with someone too inexperienced to understand that trust is integral to any transaction.” Mac spins on his heel and strides toward the door, Riley falling into step beside him. 

“Wait!” the man calls. They pause, turning around slowly. “Deacon. Conrad Deacon.” The man seems to know he’s already lost. Good. “Welcome to the cause.” He gestures for Mac and Riley to follow him. 

Mac stands his ground. In his peripheral, Riley stands utterly still, the perfect mask of cool, collected neutrality. Almost bored, even. It’s scary how easily she becomes her cover. 

“Come on now,” Conrad says, taking a single step forward. “We have much to discuss.” 

That’s enough of the power play, Mac thinks, but just as he’s about to give in and follow Conrad, Riley utters a single, sharp command that rings through the room. “Sit.” 

Harley obeys. 

Riley’s lips curve in a cruel, taunting smile. “Then enlighten us.” Mac suppresses a shiver; he’s seen this side of Riley plenty of times before, watched her hone it over the years, but it’s still unnerving. Admittedly, it’s also kind of hot. 

Conrad ignores her entirely. He croons, “Why don’t we start with your names?” It’s phrased like a question. It sounds like a question, but Mac sees the demand for what it really is. 

Mac gestures to Riley. “This is my wife, Genevieve Turner. And my name is James.” His father’s name tastes like ash on Mac’s tongue. 

“And the dog?” 

“Killer,” Riley sneers. Mac isn’t sure if she’s kidding or not. 

Again, Conrad doesn’t acknowledge her. “James, why don’t I give you the tour and explain what we do here.” 

“We’ll go on the tour, but we are not here to join your cause.” It takes every ounce of Mac’s willpower to maintain his neutral tone. “All we care about is what you’d like us to provide and how much you’ll pay for it.” 

Conrad doesn’t hide his displeasure. “Fine. Follow me.” 

Mac and Riley are led through the open warehouse. The layout is straightforward and nearly impossible to get lost in. But after Conrad shows them a room full of rifles—countless hung on the walls, floor to ceiling, the rest in half-open crates—Mac finds himself counting the number of wooden shipping crates scattered around the building. 

He doesn’t like his final number. 

Arming terrorists doesn’t sit well with Mac, even if it serves a purpose. It makes him sick, knowing he will likely be indirectly responsible for their next attack. 

Especially because those crates are no doubt full of the kind of rifles designed to kill people most effectively. The ones hanging on the wall are military grade, probably cutting-edge. Desi would know exactly what they are and how they work. 

Trusting Riley is paying close attention, Mac only half listens to Conrad babble about the cause. But then the older man says something that stops Mac in his tracks. “Our country is being run into the ground by whiny do-nothings,” Conrad asserts, “who waste our money and spew garbage that some people matter more than others. Well, you know what? Hardworking, everyday Americans matter. But no,” he scoffs, “those damn liberals don’t like it when we remind them of the truth. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off.” 

The ground sways under Mac’s feet. He knows these people believe this, read it in Matty’s extensive briefing notes. But it’s another thing entirely to hear someone say it to his face. 

He can only imagine what Riley must be thinking. 

Clearing his throat, Mac tries to redirect the conversation. “Like I said, we don’t care about your cause. Just tell us what you’re looking for, and we’ll be on our way.” 

Conrad eyes him suspiciously, but complies. “We’re looking for something a little more than what you can get at the store, you know?” 

Mac doesn’t, not exactly. He’ll have to ask Desi later. “I do,” he lies. 

“Good. Here’s what we’re willing to pay for it.” He hands Mac a folded piece of paper, and Mac does a double take when he reads the number. There are a lot of zeroes. “And as a show of good faith, we’d like it delivered tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow?” Riley splutters. Mac feels it then, the broiling rage slipping through a crack in her persona. He needs to get her out of there. Now. Not just to preserve the op, but for Riley’s wellbeing. Some audacity Matty has making Riley play nice with men like this. 

Mac slides his hands into his pockets, using the movement as a cover to brush his knuckles against Riley’s fist. I know. I’m here. I’m sorry. 

For the first time, Conrad addresses Riley directly. “Yes. Tomorrow. Unless that’s something you can’t do?” 

“We can do that,” she replies calmly, and the difference between her reactions is like night and day. As quickly as that crack appeared, it was gone. 

“Excellent.” Conrad takes another step toward Riley, offering to shake hands, but Harley’s low, menacing growl keeps him at bay. Rewarding the dog with a quick scratch on the head, Riley closes the gap and shakes Conrad’s still-outstretched hand. 

“It’s a deal,” she says. Following suit, Mac shakes Conrad’s hand as well and follows Riley out the door, neither of them uttering another word. 

Mac drives. One look at Riley’s trembling fist decides for him. 

By the time the warehouse disappears from the rearview mirror, he can’t take the silence anymore. “Hey,” Mac starts, but Riley cuts him off with a hand. 

“Not until we’re inside.” 

They hit every single red light between the warehouse and the apartment, and Mac anxiously taps the steering wheel. Raindrops land on the windshield. They’re small at first, but soon the drops are large and numerous enough to refract the streetlights, and Mac struggles to see where he’s going. He adjusts the windshield wipers over and over, never landing on the right speed. 

Too slow. Too fast. Too slow. Too fast. 

Mac settles on a setting that’s slightly too fast, and the squeak of rubber on glass nearly matches his heart thudding in his chest. 

Riley stares straight ahead, unmoving, unblinking. Mac wants to reach out, to let a gentle touch say what he verbally can’t, but the road is slick enough to make him keep two hands on the wheel. We’re almost there, he reassures himself. 

By the time he parks, it’s pouring hard enough that the ten second walk from the car to the door soaks them to the bone. Riley’s hands shake as she unlocks the apartment door. 

Once they’re inside and Mac unclips Harley’s leash, Riley turns to him with pained, pleading eyes. His heart breaking all over again, Mac draws her in for a long, tight hug. She doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to. 

Mac just cradles the back of her head and sways gently, wishing he could fix the world for her. 

Neither pulls away, even when Riley suddenly says, “If Conrad was smart, he would’ve had someone bug our car while he paraded us around the warehouse. I don’t think he’s actually smart enough to do that, but we should check first, just in case.” 

Mac curses himself for not thinking of that. “Good call.” He rubs Riley’s back, hoping the gesture is soothing. “I hate the way he treated you,” he snarls. “Like you weren’t even worth acknowledging.” 

“Welcome to being a woman.” 

It was more than that. They both know it. But neither say it.

*****

“You need what?” Matty shrieks over the phone. 

Mac winces. “Sorry.” He’d called Desi first, to ask what kind of guns Conrad meant with his innuendo, and received a verbal lashing for not asking any follow-up questions. But she made her best guess anyway. Now on the phone with Matty, it doesn’t take even a single brain cell to know that her reaction will be much, much worse. 

“He wants us to prove ourselves,” Riley adds. “As a show of good faith.” The words come out dripping in venom, but their boss doesn’t comment. Mac takes a second to study her; Riley changed into leggings and an oversized flannel shirt, and there are still remnants of dark makeup smudges under her eyes. Now, she’s sitting on the kitchen counter with her knees tucked into her chest. It’s weird to see her take up so little space. 

Matty sighs, deeply and loudly in a way conveys her annoyance more than words ever could. “Fine. A few weeks ago, Border Control confiscated a huge shipment of smuggled guns near El Paso, so I’ll see if we can borrow those. But next time, Blondie, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” He doesn’t correct Matty in that it was Riley who made the deal. That would only add fuel to the fire. 

“Thank you,” he says, and Matty hangs up. Mac runs a hand through his damp hair. “That went well.” Riley’s lips twitch, but it’s not the amused reaction he hopes for. He’s at a complete loss regarding what to say to her, so Mac gently asks, “What can I do?” 

Riley slides off the counter, and Mac reaches for her automatically, although he doesn’t actually touch her; his hand hovers just beside Riley’s elbow. She doesn’t shrink away, but she makes no move to touch him either. 

“Help me put him and everyone like him in a deep, dark hole where they can’t hurt anybody. And then just…” she trails off, taking a deep breath. “Keep being you.” 

With that, she walks away, leaving Mac alone in the kitchen, racking his brain to figure out what that last part means.

*****

Later that night, Mac tosses and turns, replaying Conrad’s words. Once we’re rid of them and the insufferables who elected them, this country will be better off. They seem off-kilter, like what the man said and what he really meant are misaligned. Mac sighs, rubbing his face. 

Another bolt of lightning illuminates the bedroom, and Mac automatically counts the seconds until he hears thunder rumbling in the distance. The storm is moving closer. 

Beside him, Riley lies on her back with her eyes closed, although her breathing is too light for her to be asleep. Mac wonders if her mind is just as loud and chaotic as his. 

For Riley’s sake, he hopes it’s not.

*****

Sleep never finds Mac. 

The storm rages all through the night, but by the time dawn arrives, the thunder and wind dissipate, leaving just the steady downpour. The clouds are dark enough that Mac can hardly tell the sun even bothered to rise this morning. 

When Riley’s alarm goes off, it’s like the shrill tone is mocking Mac for being awake. Riley groans as she shuts it off. 

“Morning,” he mumbles. His throat hurts. He needs water. “Did you sleep well?”

Another groan. “No.” 

“At least you slept,” Mac mutters.

Riley rolls onto her side, drawing one of the extra pillows into her chest. “Do you always toss and turn that much?”

It was his fault, he realizes, that she didn’t sleep. Mac suddenly feels guilty. “Sorry. And no.” 

He expects Riley to be upset at being kept awake, but she isn’t. With a look that just might be understanding, she softly asks, “What were you thinking about?” 

Mac can’t say that his thoughts whip around his mind like raindrops in last night’s storm. Not without sounding crazy, at least. So instead he says, “I don’t even know. I just have a bad feeling about this.” 

“Me too,” Riley admits. “It feels off.” Her eyes are heavy, and Mac’s had enough early mornings with Riley to know it’s not just the lack of sleep weighing her down. 

“Go back to sleep. I can handle the delivery.” 

Riley rolls her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not letting you do that by yourself.” 

He doesn’t argue. “Okay.” 

A moment passes between them. It’s been happening more and more lately—holding eye contact a little too long, sharing smirks when no one else is looking, stealing moments where it’s just the two of them and nothing else matters. Each one gives him hope that there’s not a wall between them, but instead, a door. Someone just has to be brave enough to open it. 

Sitting up, Riley quipps, “Just don’t make me regret letting you sleep in the bed with me.” Mac snorts. 

“No promises.”

.

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[writingmorsels]

Prompt: Missing

You suddenly disappeared on the journey between your workplace and your home.

Alex, your current fiancé, is informed about this and wants to be involved with the search. Sullins gets him off the case almost immediately when foul play is presumed, considering Mahone one of the first suspects because of his (lately rocky) relationship with you.

Eaten by the thought of you dead, Mahone launches himself in a private investigation to try and find you.

Based off the song “Where’s My Love” by SYML

It had been Lang, that saint woman, who told Alex the news: you were gone and no-one knew where.

After leaving the administration building next to Alex’s office, you didn’t come home. People noticed only because you didn’t show up at work the next day and the interviewed doorkeeper of your apartment building confirmed never seeing you that night.

It had been also Lang, who kept him in the loop. The first days of your disappearance Alex had been shaking with adrenaline, sifting every video, every photo, every interrogation transcript Felicia gave him after Sullins took him off the case.

“I know that look,” Felicia spoke softly as her hands went to grab his ones. “You were out of State, it’s not your fault.”

Was it not?

The both of you didn’t stop fighting about anything, in the last days before her disappearing. Sullins thought it was obvious proof of Mahone’s culpability and Alex couldn’t but agree with his superior, just on a different note.

It was his fault.

He pushed you, pushed against your love and your presence because it was too good, too warm. You were too good for him and he broke you.

How many times he snapped at you? How many times has he let his work take priority over you?

Did he see the signals and didn’t care?

Or was he so blind he didn’t even notice?

Did you just… run away from him? Or were you in danger?

“How many hours, now?” Alex asked, his voice a whispery, ragged strand of what originally was.

Lang sighed, seeing his friend with his head hung forward and shoulders slouched down. He didn’t even try to hide the lack of sleep and food, at that point. “Alex…” “how many hours...days…?” his voice didn’t stop breaking from time to time, hardly keeping emotions where they had to stay.

Felicia remained silent, thinking about the last time she saw you, waving as you came out of your small little office. “Five days, more or less.” she confessed. “We searched along the road she usually takes, but nothing came up.”

Alex didn’t move, but his brain churned. “Have you checked-” “Looked at the CCTVs, in the park near her home, around the neighborhood...we even asked for security footage from civilians. I went out there myself and found nothing,” Lang exhaled, shifting on her side of the sofa, uncomfortable.

“Search dogs?”

“It had been raining since she disappeared. They can’t find a lead.”

“Interviewed coworkers? Someone that fancied her? Hated her? Or me?”

“He asked everybody, twice. Nothing came up beside office gossip. Listen, Alex, I know you know your stuff, but we know too. God’s know how much I want to find her, but you need to listen to me.”

Mahone went silent again, for a few seconds.

“Have you… looked where I told you to-” “...Alex,” Felicia's voice grew stern. “We looked. Every. Where… You need to start thinking that...maybe... she might be-” “DON’T-...Don’t say it. Please Felicia...just...let me...” and with that Lang couldn’t speak more.

Her chest tightened as she saw Alex curl up, hands gripping his own hair and tremble in what little tears he still had left.

With a small, weak “I’ll see myself out” she walked out of Alex’s living room, leaving the man to be with his sorrows with just a soft pat on his shoulder.

They didn’t search enough, Alex thought as he jumped up from the sofa, starting to pace around. He looked at your face peppering the place with various photos, smiling memories he still could feel, trapped underneath the surface of that agony.

They didn’t search well enough…! She had to be somewhere! If only Richard would listen to him!

She could die!

She could…

She is…

Anger came over him in a wave and Alex let out a pained roar, as he kicked over the coffee table, sending all its nicknacks flying.

A glass vase shattered, papers and flyers and documents flew around, the small piece of furniture rolled to the other side of the room.

You weren’t dead… you were just out of reach of anybody else.

That was it.

Fuck Sullin’s suspects, fuck everybody’s incompetence.

You were somewhere out there and if Alex found killers, rapists and even former military, he would find the love of his life.

He exited his house like a hurricane, not even grabbing his heavy coat to fight the cold of mid-autumn.

He had to check that place again. Even if his colleagues assured him the place was empty when they looked, Mahone had a feeling.

Because if you weren’t there...then you really just up and left him without a trace.

Five Day Earlier:

“What?!” you snapped, pressing your phone against your ear. You barely heard Alex through it, the sound of chatter and keyboards muffling his voice. “But we had plans...you know we had plans!” you whined, making some coworkers turn their heads.

You huffed, storming out of the office and on the emergency stairs, just so you could chew him a new one in peace.

“We found a new lead for the Ragman case-” “Like I care! You’re not the whole fucking Bureau, Alex! Let someone else handle it!” you barked, your free hand grabbing the railing.

It was that or it was crossing the street, up to his office and smacking him to kingdom come.

He sounded angry just like you, his voice cold and strained. “I can’t just step down! I’ve been following this case for weeks, you know it!” “I know that I’m planning this fucking dinner since EASTER, Alex! It’s not even the real Thanksgiving because you ALREADY HAVE that day filled, but no! No, you HAVE to be on the other side of the fucking Nation even tho you assured meー no, SWORE me you WOULD BE FREE!” you found yourself basically screaming into the phone.

It was like a dam exploded and now days and months of pushing down emotions kept pouring out.

It wasn’t only for a missed dinner, it was for the rest. The feeling of being less than his job, being unimportant. Not being enough for him.

Those thoughts gnawed at you for quite some time and now they came back in full force. “You know what?? Fine! Go be a superhero! Go hunt your next bone, good doggy! While you’re there, marry your fucking job too!”.

With that you slammed the phone shut without even listening to his voice anymore.

One after another, his promises kept missing...and you were at your wit’s ends. There was some talking to do, for sure, but before that you absolutely had to cool down or you would totally wreck what was left between you two.

So, after finishing your boring day at work you went out and, instead of going back to your shared home, you got on a bus and straight to your favourite place.

The park was nice even when the summer was just a memory, a thick fog rising from the browny waters of the lagoon.

You walked down a wooden path, feeling the wet earth beneath it shift slightly, and you breathed a long, long sigh; you didn’t need to be so mean, but you were so tired. Tired of battling for every inch of attention. Tired of tiptoeing around Mahone’s always full agenda.

You didn’t mind his line of work, being a federal was a very dangerous and busy occupation, but Alex seemed to always do more of what was expected of him. No one ordered him to travel and manually grab the killer of choice to bring back. No one ordered him to stay afterhours for days on end, leaving you to wait up until midnight with an empty plate in the kitchen.

He was the one going the extra mile for his job...but lately, you wanted him to take some, not all! But some of that mileage and invest it in his relationship with you.

Especially now that he proposed.

You chuckled a sob, remembering the day.

Was it just so you wouldn’t run away? Did he really love you?

Or did he love the cooking, the cleaning, the company?

You stopped in the middle of the wooden road and looked left, seeing a faint path in the tall grass.

That small, invisible trail led you to the best place of the park, where you played cop and thief with your friends.

It was a small, round clearing among the trees, with one L-shaped stone covered in moss you called ‘The Couch’.

You hopped on The Couch and groaned your anger away, laying down on the soft greenery.

You didn’t know what to do anymore...

Mahone stopped his car inches away from the main gate of the park, leaving the engine on as he got off.

He grabbed a torch from the glove box and ran inside, moving the light around like a blade cutting the darkness. His eyes swallowed every little detail as he walked, combing with his gaze through the trees, the grass, the waters.

Frantically he moved along the main path, flashing the wooden boards now dark and soaking wet.

The recent rain erased any single footprint that would have existed, but Mahone knew your favourite place.

You showed him once, making him find a basket full of good food, a blanket and some wine. “Twenty steps from the crooked tree… thirtyfive to the left,” he mumbled to himself, finding the faint trail almost immediately.

He walked like a pirate in search of a treasure, careful to never stray from the path.

“Y/n! Y/n honey!” he shouted.

Alex had this foolish thought, this little movie in his head that, once he overcame the underbrush and pierced the thick veil of trees, he would find you.

Maybe angry, maybe scared, it didn’t matter. He just wanted to hug you tight, to never let go.

As he walked up into the clearing, his already broken heart shattered.

Everything was as he remembered: the long, thin trunks of the ashes, the big green rock, the blades of grass.

Even the smell was the same, humid and woody.

But you weren’t there.

You weren’t sitting on that strange rock or maybe laying in the grass. Not you or your body or any kind of hint you were ever there.

Alex’s hand trembled, the light of the torch vibrating. “No...no no no…” he sobbed. “Y/N! HONEY!” he started to shout, “Y/N PLEASE! Y/N!” his eyes darted left and right as the realization started to really hit him. “Y/N I’M SORRY! PLEASE! DON’T...Don’t...p-please come back...” his voice crumbled as did his body, overexerted by the long days without respite.

The flashlight flew from his fingers in a fit of desperate rage and Mahone wept alone in the woods, almost wheezing in the constricting pain holding his heart.

Tears streamed down his face as his palms pressed against his temples, nails digging into his scalp.

It was his fault, all his fault...if he just said no to Sullins, if he sent Wheeler instead...if he listened to Felicia…

You would be home with him.

Eating a warm, good dinner together and then crashing into bed, holding each other until morning.

Now you were gone and his heart was, too.

c l a c k c l a c k c l a c k s p l a s h

Amongst the sobbing and the sounds of the night, Alex’s ears picked up on something. A sound that seemed to come almost from underneath him, faint and muffled.

Then, raising his head, Mahone noticed he was in complete darkness. His torch was nowhere to be found.

No, there was something: a few strands of grass seemed to shine, but the light was too feeble to be his flashlight...or was it?

He moved slowly, furrowing his eyebrows for a moment...and then his eyes shot open wide, for what he saw there, at the foot of the big green rock.

You lingered in that place for at least a couple of hours, watching the sky turning from grey to black as the night progressed. Your phone pinged a couple of times with messages from Alex, asking you to answer his calls, to stop being childish, to please reply. The last one was a defeated ‘we’ll talk when I’ll be back. Write when you’re home. Love you’ that made you melt a litte. You sighed, closing the phone with a little clack and laying it on your forehead, thinking. Now that you were calmer and level-headed, what had happened seemed a little excessive. Sure you’ll speak to Alex about your insecurities, about how you felt being always brushed aside, but at the same time you had to make peace with the fact that you still loved him, so very much. He had that job before you came into his life, it was one of the things that made you fall in love with him: his stubbornness, his logic, his courage. It was a new point in your life and it just needed adjusting, that’s all… “ehh...fuck me…” you whisper with a strange, sweet tone in it, as you took your phone and started to slowly type ‘Going home. Love you too’ to him. As you hit send, the phone froze for a second before giving you a small error message. “No signal? Where am I, Narnia?” you grumbled as you jumped off The Couch, lifting your cellphone at arm-high in search of signals. You stumbled around in the clearing, eyes transfixed on the little screen above your head. “C’mon, now that I wasn’t that angry anymo-” your voice yelped as your heel sank into rotten wood. Something behind you, on the ground, gave away and your entire weight dragged you down, down deep into the earth. You dropped like a stone, your fingers trying to grab the wet, rough walls as you plummeted down. Then a splash, cold water enveloping you with its sharp claws, but it didn't stop gravity enough for your bones not to break. You heard a snap and suddenly a jolt of electrifying pain shot all along your right leg. You cried in agony, scraping your nails against the rocks like running away from the hurt. After a few minutes of intense panic, your eyes started to watch around, to assess your position after the fall. You recognized it, between tears. It was a well. An old well hidden from everyone's eyes but nature, still filled with a couple of feet of freezing water. “Oh no...oh--ffffuck…!” you wailed as you tried to stand up, letting out another cry as you immediately fell down again, your own body too shocked to manage to stand up. The sandy bottom felt grimy underneath your hands, your phone dead in the water where it fell right after you. “HELP! SOMEBODY!” You passed all night screaming for help, watching the mouth of the well light up with the cloudy sky of the morning after. If you squinted enough, its form could be mistaken for a full moon in the middle of a dark sky. Unable to stand on your remaining leg for more than a few seconds, you leaned against the stone walls around you, trying to stay as far as possible from the water. It was too cold to sit in it without freezing to death and you surely didn’t want to die. You screamed and screamed until your throat felt raw and your voice cracked. Your thirst found solace with the same water threatening your life and you drank it with small sips, feeling its coolness fight your body temperature as you gulped it down. Another night came and went. The light grey sky became black again. It rained, water trickling down the walls and slowly pooling at the base of the well, around her legs. You drank your hunger away, using the rain to quench your thirst now that your small reserve of water got, alas, corrupted by your bodily function. Your voice carried less far away, tired but still trying. Third day and leaning against the wall with just one leg had been unbearable. Your knee buckled from time to time, sending you into the water now one feet higher. You convened with your body that sitting down, even if in freezing water, could be done for a couple of minutes at the time. You tried to scream for help again, but your voice croaked pitifully

and never reached the edge of the well, hidden among the grass. Surely someone noticed your disappearance. Surely there was police involved already...it had to be. You secretly hoped he noticed, too. Would he care, after what you screamed at him? You could not feel your leg anymore and looking at its bent shape made you nauseous. Or was it the hunger? "Please….! Someone…" Fourth day. You could not stand anymore. Water reached your chest now and the only moments of warmth is when your bladder empties itself. Rain stopped flowing down that night and you waved goodbye at your only source of clean water. He wasn't there. No one was. Death was. Fifth. Cold. Light. Alex…?

Mahone carefully palmed the edges of the well, double the size of a manhole.

He looked down, the light of his torch now reverberating along stone walls, impressing on them the dance of water. And his heart sank down the same moment he saw you.

You were sitting down with water lapping at your collarbones, your skin so pale you looked like a ghost.

His voice hiccuped a second, before coming out in full force. “Y/N!” he cried, but you didn’t move.

Only a slit of your beautiful, beautiful eyes was open. So were your lips, turned a dangerous shade of blue.

Quickly, Alex grabbed his phone and dialed Lang’s number, knowing full well she would still be in the office. She was leading the search, despite her pessimistic view about it.

The woman replied almost immediately, her voice tense. “Yes?” “I found her!” he hissed, panicked. “Send me the firefighter, now! And paramedics! Please she’s unresponsive I can’t reach-” “Alex, breathe! I’ll send you a backup, but you need to calm down! Where are you?”.

Mahone breathed in, tensing his jaw, before moving his head to search for something to try and pull you out. “She fell into an abandoned well,” his voice was colder, professional. “There’s no time, just track my phone. I’m going down…!” “Alex wait-!”

With that, Mahone closed the call and safely left his phone a couple of feet away from the mouth of the well.

Without a second thought, the man slid one leg into the hole, then the other, slowly lowering himself inside with his feet searching for pursuit on the smooth stones. His fingers found cracks in between the rocks and slowly started his descent. Alex slipped a couple of times, holding on just enough for his shoes to find a ledge again.

The journey you made in a few seconds five days prior, took Alex at least one solid minute of intense climbing. When only a couple of feet separated the both of you, Mahone let go of the wall and fell down into the freezing water, feeling it gnaw at his legs. “Y/n…! Oh God honey...please answer me…!” he panted as he reached you, kneeling down into the stagnant water. His hot hands cupped your frozen face, thumb caressing your cold lips and your damp cheekbones.

For a moment there was nothing. No movements, no reactions but only the sloshing of water around your bodies.

Slowly, then, you came up from the dark, fuzzy place where you were drowning, your eyelashes trembled, stuck, unable to open.

Resuscitated by his warm touch, his presence. “A...lex…” your voice was barely a raspy whisper, but that was enough for Mahone.

He exhaled a deep breath, a smile cracking his tense expression as he lowered his head to kiss your damp forehead. “I’m here love… I’m here.”

For a moment you thought about wrapping your arms around him, searching for more of that scalding sensation against the skin. As you tried, a new explosion of pure agony rebounded in your body.

You couldn't move, almost frozen solid in that curled position. Your stone-cold body started to shake visibly, like a broken machine trying to power on. “h-h-he...reー” you whined under your breath, one hand fighting against the cramping muscles to reach his shirt.

You gripped on him with all the strength you had left, eyes rolling behind the eyelids from time to time.

Mahone immediately wrapped his arms around you, enveloping you in his body warmth. “Yes Y/n I’m here. I’ll take you out darling...I’m here, I’m not leaving…” he whispered hurriedly in your ear, a big lump forming in his throat.

You yelped softly when he touched your broken leg, your only functioning hand pulling at his clothes in pain and Mahone furrowed his brows, watching down in the muddy water.

He saw your injury but didn’t say anything about it, only shifting his body to be able to hold you without causing any pain.

Cuddled into his arm, you let yourself mold into him, your heavy head resting on his shoulder and face searching the hot angle of his throat. “I’ll not let you die…” he sweetly spoke onto your wet hair. “You will not...leave me like this.”

You sighed against his skin, your trembling starting to subdue. Oh you were so tired, the weight of entire oceans on you… but you could not stand losing his voice into the fog. “h--urts-…” you let out a soft noise, desperate and scared.

Your eyes finally managed to unglue, lashes thawed and gaze glassy, but you watched his face, crossed by the undulating lights the torch created from the bottom of the water. If you died there, at least you managed to see the summer skies in his eyes one last time. “I let you down so many times darling…” Alex hushed, his voice low and closed in his throat. His hand never stopped caressing your face, brushing away locks of hair and heating up your skin with his palm. “But I’ll get you out of here...this is a promise I’m going to keep...you just...you just have to keep holding on.”

You wanted to speak, to reply to his sweet, sweet words. Transform your groan into words of love and pureness, but your hand felt heavier than ever before and your aching fingers lost grip on his shirt.

It had been difficult to even remain conscient at that moment, focusing on the beating of his heart in his throat. Focusing on your body now split in two: freezing death on one side, burning pain on the other.

“Stay awake Y/n, don’t sleep…! C’mon honey you have to stay with me now. Please..!” you heard Alex as if he spoke to you from the other side of a glass, the voice you always loved now muffled.

As your mind started to drift off again, a thought came into your mind.

You never managed to reply to his message.

You never said that to him. “ ーove... you…” your tired, hoarse voice managed to claw out of your mouth before passing out again.

Red and blue lights pierced through the trees and seconds after a group of men in uniform came rustling into the clearing.

Guiding them was Felicia Lang, her phone in her hand trying to reach out for Mahone without success. “Where are you, you dumbー !” her mumbling stopped as her eyes saw light coming through the earth, then a little mmmmhz-mmmmhz of Mahone’s vibrating cell phone.

“HERE! HERE!” she shouted, waving her arm. Both police and firemen crowded around the well for a moment, assessing the situation.

There was a man on the bottom of the well, standing in water up to his knees. He was holding a woman in his arms, trying to keep her as close to him as possible. “WE’RE COMING DOWN! STAND BACK!” one of the policemen yelled, as one of the firemen wore a harness.

Alex made one step back, watching intently at the man being lowered into the well by his colleagues. “C’mon…! C’mon!” he hissed under his breath, his body trembling with adrenaline while time slowed down to a crawl.

As soon as the fireman reached them, Alex neared him. “She’s hypothermic, unresponsive...I can’t find a pulse but I see her breathing…!” he spoke quickly, agitated and the fireman nodded. “Paramedics are on the surface, sir, don’t worry.”

You didn’t even make a sound as your frozen body passed from Alex’s determined hold to the arms of the unknown man.

Slowly, you were brought up and out of the moist hell you fell five days prior, and while the fireman carried you towards the on-coming stretcher, Alex was given a rope to use as a way to climb up right behind rescue.

He didn’t even feel the pain in his arms as training and fear both pushed him to move quickly, grasping at the edge of the well with one hand and the other being grasped by Lang. “She’s there, go…!” she whispered to him as soon as he came out.

Mahone neared the stretcher the same time the paramedics put it down for you to be laid on and start first aid.

They couldn’t find a pulse for a good thirty seconds, before one of them confirmed that yes, heart beats were present but slow.

“Shallow breathing. Have you temp?”

“25 degrees. She’s gonna collapse, wrap her!”

“On three. One, two, three-up!”

“Gently!”.

Alex walked near the stretcher, watching you being wrapped up in insulation blankets and with one of the paramedics pumping air into your lungs through a mask.

He never left your side, as the little procession sped through the park, towards the exit and into the back of an ambulance.

On the ride to the hospital, Alex never left your hand.

Your fingers never left his, too.

[tatooedlaura-blog]

Geometry of a Triangle

I found a few hours of quiet time and what better way to spend them than to revisit that beautiful thing called, “Triangle” ...

It’s a standalone and I’ll be tagging @today-in-fic ...

:)

&&&&&&&&&&

“Oh, brother.”

With that statement, she pushed herself off the bed rail and turned, click-heeling back into the hallway, running into a clump of boss and unwashed boys, “how is he?”

“He’s delusional.” Moving past them, she hit the down button on the elevator when she reached it, “he needs time, rest, and probably another CT scan, which I will schedule for him once I get downstairs.”

The four of them, following like obedient dogs, got on the elevator with her and just as the doors were closing, “damn it. I forgot my keys in there.” Recklessly flinging her arm in between twin metal deathtraps, then stepping out once they’d reopened, “why don’t you guys go and I’ll call you if anything changes?”

Not one to question her, ever, they said their goodbyes and disappeared. Once the elevator had definitely left the floor, she took a deep breath, wondering if collapse against the wall would be appropriate given the amount of stress still choking her system. Why was he always trying to kill her, inadvertently mind you, but still, every time he left his apartment, he put her in panic mode.

She really fucking hated panic mode.

Taking a minute to collect herself while staring out the window at absolutely no view at all, hospital expansion building blocking the view of what was probably a very pretty neighborhood.

Whatever.

She took her time going back to his room, companions not fluttering around her, peppering with questions, irritating her with endless regurgitation, explanation and exaltation of the exploits of her thankfully not drowned partner.

And Skinner just needed to go away in general; she’d kissed him in the elevator and now couldn’t look him in the eye  given mortal embarrassment.

She needed a vacation.

&&&&&&&&&

Finally, many deep breaths later, she was back at his door, numbered 342 in the grand scheme but from her last count, it was hospital room number 206, give or take; she also counted emergency room curtained off areas as rooms so her count might be a little skewed.

Walking back in without knocking, she thought maybe he’d be asleep and she could do her thing and go home to warm bed, fragrant bath, cup of hot chocolate, not necessarily in that order. He wasn’t asleep, however, instead looking up at her, tracking her as she carefully shut the door, turned, crossed her arms, “I was beginning to wonder if you’d be back.”

“I had to get rid of them before I could …” her voice cracked here, tears rushing to the surface, falling freely down her cheeks in under a second.

Mulder tried to get up but was forced back down by gravity and dizziness, so instead, he reached out his hand, “come here. I’m sorry. I hate seeing you cry.”

“If you wouldn’t do such stupid things, maybe I wouldn’t have to cry.” Swiping her face, the torrent already slowing to a trickle, she sniffed hard, “maybe you’re like a puppy. You need a good swat every now and then in order to learn not to put me through this crap.”

Beside his bed by now, he reached his hand out, hooking it in the pocket of her jacket, “I have never intentionally set out to make you cry. I swear.”

Growling at him, she dried her face one last time with her fingers, looking down at him, “did you really say earlier that you loved me? How many drugs are you on, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“You should know. You’re the doc, doc.”

Moving to see his chart again, she zoned in on the narcotics area, perusing then sifting through her memory, “looks like plenty. More than enough to say all kinds of incriminating things.”

Looking at her sheepishly, “did I really say ‘I love you’ though?”

And her heart jumped then sank, bobbed back to the surface and sank again, “you don’t remember?” He looked innocently guilty and she tilted her head at him, “I won’t hold it against you then.”

“Thanks.”

Moving back to his side, she pulled the chair over, slotting her feet in the undercarriage of the bed and settling back, head comfortable after a moment, Mulder’s fingers wiggling in her direction, his discreet invite to hold his hand while they fell asleep.

She both hated and loved their routines.

“I really am sorry I always make you cry.”

“I can’t imagine this life without you, Mulder, such as it is.” Thinking back to all the times she’d cried for him, both inside and out, “I have often wished that my stress levels weren’t congruent to the production of my tear ducts but they are and we have both learned to live with that.”

“I still hate that I make you cry.”

Squeezing his fingers, “go to sleep, Mulder. I’ll see you when you wake up.”

&&&&&&&&

Ten minutes later, she expected him to be deep in dreamland but looking in his direction once she realized she didn’t hear his whistle-snoring nose, she saw his eyes open, staring intently at her, studying form and function of his Scully, “why aren’t you asleep yet?”

“Trying to ignore my headache while I think about a few things.”

Dusk was dropping outside, their room growing dim and soft, her voice quiet across the vast region between them, “what kinds of things?”

“Nazis and Thor’s hammer and shiny red dresses.”

He must be wandering his delusions again and she figured, why not wade in with him, “were the Nazis wearing the red dresses?”

“No, thank God but you were.”

“I was wearing a shiny red dress? How did I look?”

“If I answer that question, you’ll hit me again.”

Maybe she shouldn’t play into his medication after all, “well, why don’t you go to sleep and dream about things and tomorrow, we will get another head scan.”

The side of his face ached from her 1939 clenched fist and deciding to go for broke, given he knew she’d chock up anything he said to drug-addled haze, “your hair was slicked back, pin-curled, perfect even as we ran up and down the halls, thwarting Nazis and trying to find a way to get me home.” Continuing when all she did was tilt her head, listening with both ear and he hoped, heart, “you saved the world in a knee-length dark red dress and heels and,” pinpoint focus on her darkening blue eyes, “you looked more beautiful than I’ve ever deserved to see you.”

Oh, she could so easily be dragged into his delirium … dream … reality …

This was headed to a bad place and she needed to stop the train before she got fully onboard, believing every last word falling from his lips, “I always thought I looked pretty good in my pajama pants and Yosemite Sam t-shirt.”

“That’s my t-shirt, by the way.”

Returning to lightness even as her heart pounded unexpectedly in her chest, “you say yours, I say mine. I keep it. We both win.”

“How do I win?”

Was she really going to say it?

“Because you get to see me in it.”

She said it.

“If I ever find that red dress, Scully, I’m buying it and you’re wearing it and we’re going out on the town to make sure everyone sees you in it. There’ll be so many guys falling at your feet, you won’t know what to do.”

“So, I’ll just stand there and let them swoon?”

“And then you’ll come home with me.”

She felt the blush blooming across her chest and crawling up her face, “you need to go to sleep, Mulder. As both your doctor and your …” she hesitated without understanding why, partner seeming cold, friend seeming inadequate, anything other distinction making her blush even more, “you need to get some sleep, Mulder and so do I.” Standing quickly, squeaking chair legs against tile, “I should probably go. I’ll pick up some clothes for you and bring them back tomorrow when they release you, okay?”

She still hadn’t let go of his hand.

Odd.

In fact, her fingers were firmly joined with his, zippered closed, thumb stroking thumb.

Very odd.

“Hey, Scully,” tugging her hand so she moved towards him, she leaned across the bar of the bed once again.

“Yes?”

“Be with me tonight. Spring me from this place and take me home and hover and feed me meds and check my stitches and just … be with me.”

Another ‘oh, brother’ should have risen up her throat, fallen to his ears but instead, she leaned in even more, “let me go find a doctor.”

&&&&&&&&&&&&

There was finagling and promising and coercion to the highest levels but in the end, she helped him off the elevator and down the hall to his apartment, setting him on the bed, taking in his weary eyes, his pale face, “you look terrible.”

Not able to argue such a valid point, “could you find me something to wear, please? I feel like I’m about to die or at the very least, begin having hallucinations of pink elephants playing poker in the corner.”

Not about to dispute the obvious, pink elephants fairly likely at this point in their day, “can you sit up for a second or do you want to lay down while I find things?”

Hands firmly gripping mattress edge, “I’ve got it. Just don’t leave.”

She’d return to that statement later on but for now, “I’ll be back.”

At the dresser, she pulled out stuff for both of them, missing the Yosemite Sam shirt but happy with her find of ‘Sit on it, Potsie’ black, frayed glory. Soon, she was back beside him, gently pulling his shirt over his head, wincing along with him when she passed the collar over his bruise-darkening eye. Pants weren’t too difficult, Scully holding his arm for balance while he dropped scrubs and pulled up ratty sweatpants, “remind me not to follow any ghosts ships in the near future.”

“No.”

He smiled as best he could but most of his energy and being was wrapped up in desperate need to lay down, go to sleep, rid his head of the terrible pounding that had wedged itself behind his eyes, “did you bring drugs home with you?”

“Several. What color do you want?”

“Rainbow me up, please? My head feels like it’s going to explode.”

Drugs swallowed, Scully changed – he would comment on her shirt at some point in the evening – and after tucking him in, she turned out the light but came back to his side, “I’m going to go sleep out on the couch, okay? Do you need anything?”

Even through pain and wavering reality, “be with me, remember? The couch is too far.” Indicating over his shoulder, eyes already closing for longer and longer intervals, “I have plenty of room behind me, softest mattress in the place, I promise.”

She could seriously just wait two minutes then go out to the couch, he’d never know but Scully being Scully, especially tonight, especially now, especially here, “okay but if you kick me in your sleep, I’m kicking back.”

Slurred, sleepy, “I’ll try not to kiss you in your sleep, promise.”

Nearly correcting him, she instead checked the front door locks one more time, then, incremental debate later, folded back the covers opposite him, sheets cool, pillow shockingly comfortable. She’ll admit it, she may have let out a slight, happy, back of the throat groan when her head sank down into it.

This pillow may have to go the way of Yosemite.

&&&&&&&&&&

Never expecting to fall asleep so quickly, she had no idea she had until she found herself blinking, eyes rolling and lids sticky. Concept of time had disappeared, clock telling her it was after 2 am but mind firmly believing she’d only been asleep for a few minutes. Wondering what had woken her, she turned to her other side, coming face to face with Mulder, still asleep but hand twitching, searching.

He must have touched her back while he moved and taking his wandering fingers, she was surprised when he bought them to his lips, kissing her knuckles, “I should have kissed you again after you hit me.”

Wondering if he was still dreaming, “Mulder?”

His eyes opened suddenly, wide awake like she’d never seen him, “You saved the world and I should have kissed you again.”

“You kissed me?”

Smiling, his eyes closed, drifting back to dreams, “and I want to do it again.”

Still back on the last statement, “you kissed me?” He answered with a deep sigh, sleep capturing the conversation in limbo and driving her forward, 2 am a thing of both beauty and shadow, she maneuvered to get her lips to his, a light brush, a tentative touch, a fleeting taste, “I love you, too, Mulder.”

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Fourteen

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff, a wee bit of angst, and smut! 4.6K

a/n: this is the last part before the story takes a small break, but do not fear! There’s going to be 20 parts total, and I have parts 15-17 already fully written and ready to go. I just wanna give this a breather so I can put some other works out there. I hope you’re enjoying seeing them as parents! Will they make a second baby? We shall soon find out! (also, I don’t know how much a 2 year old can actually articulate, so if his dialogue is wonky, please excuse me lmao)

Masterpost

Jack was two years old, and you were loving having a toddler. He was rather rambunctious. You loved having summers off so you could spend time at home with him. You loved watching him play and learn. He was getting rather heavy to pick up, and his mop of curls reminded you a lot of Harry’s. He was certainly a good mix of the two of you.

Even though there were times you wanted to scream and cry when he’d get fussy, you knew it would only be another couple of years before he started school, and you wouldn’t have this time with him. You were sort of starting to miss having an actual baby around. As you watched him play in the backyard with Buster, you thought more and more about how nice it would be for him to have a little sibling to play with. He had friends from daycare, but still, a younger brother or sister would be nice.

When Harry gets home from work later, he had adjusted his schedule to be able to be home by 3PM in the summers, he sits outside with you.

“Maybe it’s time we look into a pool.” He says to you.

“What?”

“It gets good sun out here.”

“Sarah and Niall have a pool, we can just use theirs.”

“I know, but wouldn’t it be nice to have one of our own? Nothing crazy, an above ground pool. We’ve got the room.”

“It’s expensive.”

“We can afford it.” He shrugs.

“What if there’s other things we’ll need that money for?”

“Like what?” He turns to look at you. Before you can answer him you both hear Jack whaling. He had tripped and fallen. “That’s what happens when you run after Daddy tells you not to, Jack.” Harry shakes his head and gets up to check on his little boy. He scoops him up and brings him over to sit. “Ah, just a scrape, no harm done, but you can cry if yeh want to, no one’s tellin’ yeh not to cry, son.” He rocks Jack back and forth in his arms and you swear you can feel your ovaries exploding. “What?”

“What?”

“You’re givin’ me a weird look.” He chuckles.

“Want mumma.” Jack sniffles.

“Okay, come see me.” You take him from Harry. “You know just because mumma’s a doctor now, doesn’t mean she’s like Dr. Morris.” You tell Jack. Yes, you had gotten your PhD, it was grueling, but it allowed you to go on a tenure track at the university.

“Kisses mumma.”

“Ohhh, I see.” You give him kisses all over and it makes him giggle. “All better now?”

“Can I have juice, pwease.”

“Yes, honey.”

“I’ll go get it, you sit.” Harry gets up and goes inside to grab Jack his juice box. “Here yeh go, son.” Jack grabs it from Harry.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“So polite.” Harry rustles the hair on the top of Jack’s head.

“Don’t drink it too fast or you’ll get the hiccups.” Buster trots over and laps up the water in the bowl you brought outside for him. He lays down in the cool of the shade.

“M’gonna have to mow in a couple days.” Harry sighs. You squeeze your legs together at the thought.

Watching Harry mow the lawn was like watching a cliché porno. He’d be shirtless, and incredibly sweaty. He’d have his bandana to keep his hair up off his forehead, and he’d come inside to grab a glass of water. You’d often sit up on the counter and watch him drink the cold beverage. That would lead to him giving you a quick fuck in the downstairs bathroom when he could, if Jack was napping.

“Harry?” You look at him and he looks at you.

“Aw, look, his little eyes are closin’.” He looks down at Jack who was falling asleep in your arms. “So cozy with his mumma.”

“Shit, if he sleeps now he won’t sleep tonight. Jack, wake up honey.” He jolts awake and looks at you. “Do you wanna go inside? Think you’ve earned some TV time, hm?”

“TV!” He repeats and smiles at you.

You take Jack inside, first to use the potty as you were still training him. Then you get him settled on the couch with his favorite cartoon playing on the TV. Harry grabs some carrot sticks to munch on before sitting down with the two of you.

“What do you feel like for dinner tonight? I could make some hot dogs for him on the grill, and some veggie burgers for us.” He snaps into a carrot.

“Sure, that sounds good.” You look down at Jack and see he’s mesmerized by the TV. “Can we speak in the kitchen?”

“Um…sure.” You both get up and walk over to kitchen. You had a large open concept area so you could still keep your eyes on Jack. “Am I in trouble?” He was thoroughly confused.

“What?! No! Why would you be?” You laugh and he shrugs his shoulders. “No, I just didn’t want him to overhear. We didn’t exactly finish our conversation from before.”

“Oh.” He says, relieved. “What were we even talkin’ about?”

“Well, you had mentioned a pool, and I was thinking we’d need to save that money.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, why can’t we get a pool? I think we’ve done a good job of savin’, hell, we even started Jack’s college fund already. We’re in really good shape. I don’t think it would set us back much, and it’d pay for itself with how much we’d all use it.”

“We can just buy a little blow up kiddie pool for now.”

“But…I would like to swim also.” He tries to read your face. You seemed nervous. “Is everything alright? What’s goin’ on up there?” He taps on your forehead.

“Harry…I…” You bite your bottom lip.

“Honey, whatever it is, you can tell me. You’re scarin’ me a little.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Sorry, I just don’t exactly know how to phrase it.” You take a deep breath and look back over at Jack who was still content with his cartoons. “I wanna have another baby.” You whisper. Harry’s cheeks flush and his eyebrows raise. “I think we’re ready, don’t you? And I miss…I miss having a little baby. I’m still able to snuggle with Jack, but he’s getting big and he’s gonna start preschool in a couple of years, and I-“

Harry cups your cheeks and brings you in for a kiss. It gives you the good kind of butterflies in your stomach.

“So…um…that’s why I think we should hold off on the pool.”

“We can afford both.” He chuckles. “Babe, you really wanna have another?”

“I do.” You nod. “Do you?”

“Of course! I would’ve gotten yeh pregnant again a while ago if you had let me.” He smirks. “I was waitin’ for you to say somethin’. I told yeh a long time ago, I’ll have as many kids as you let us.” He strokes your cheek.

“I really want another one.” You wrap your arms around his neck. “Someone for Jack to grow up with and play with, you know?”

“Mhm.” He presses his forehead to yours. “You’ll have to go to the doctor to have your IUD taken out.”

“I know.” You step back from him. “I can make an appointment this week if I really wanted to.”

“Wow, so you wanna start trying, like, right away?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Are you sure you’re not just, like, horny?” He chuckles.

“Harry.” You swat an arm at him. “Well, I am, but I really wanna have another baby. We made such a beautiful little boy, let’s make another.” You pout at him and he kisses you. “No way we can still afford a pool.”

“I bet we can, but I suppose we could wait until next summer. I just hate imposing on Niall and Sarah…”

“Are you kidding? She loves when I bring Jack over to swim. We were there this morning. She has summers off too, remember? Sometimes Rach joins us, it’s great. She really doesn’t mind.”

“Okay. Make an appointment then, and then we’ll make another baby.” He gives your belly a pat. “You realize though we’ll probably have to fuck in your office, that’s how we got Jack after all.”

“Oh stop it. We also had sex that weekend for my birthday.”

“I think it was the spontaneity that did it. Gotta remember to not put too much pressure on it.”

“Okay, so catch me off guard when you wanna fuck me.” You shrug. He grips your hips as you start to walk away, and you swat at him. “Not now, you idiot.”

“Come on, let’s practice.”

“Harry…why don’t you go start the grill up, hm? I’m gonna take Jack with me to walk Buster.”

“Okay, fine.” He sighs and rolls his eyes extra heavy. “But don’t say I never offer.”

//

You go to the doctor and get your IUD removed. Dr. Johnson doesn’t think you’ll have too much trouble conceiving, but she gives you a list of vitamins you might want to try to help yourself out. You get Jack in the car seat after your appointment.

“Jack, you were so good for mummy while she saw the doctor, thank you so much.”

“Treat, mumma?”

“Sure, I think we could go get a treat.”

You drive over to Harry’s studio and walk down the street to the ice cream shop. Buster was with Harry today, so you get a dog-friendly vanilla ice cream. You get everyone ice cream and walk with Jack back to the studio.

“Okay, you know what to say when you walk in right?” You wink at him as you open the door.

“Supwise!” He yells and Isaac beams.

“Look who it is!” He gets up to help you with the ice cream. “This really is a surprise. Hi Jack.”

“Hi.” He hugs your leg shyly, and hides his face. Buster gets up from around the desk and trots over. Jack perks up when he sees his buddy.

“Where’s my hubby?”

“Upstairs in his office. Him and Mariah are having an editing day. She’s in her office in the back.”

“Ah. Come on Jack, think you can climb the stairs? That vanilla one is for Buster.” You say to Isaac.

“Sure thing, and thanks for the treats. I’ll go give this to Mariah.”

You and Jack go up the stairs and knock on Harry’s door.

“Isaac, this better fuckin’-“ Harry’s eyes widen when he opens the door to see his wife and child standing there. “Oh! Hi!” He smiles. He gives you a kiss, and picks up Jack.

“Got you treat, Daddy.” He points to the ice cream in your hands.

“I see that, well come on in.” He sets Jack on the floor with his ice cream and a napkin.

“We were in the neighborhood, I saw Dr. Johnson today.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot that was today. What flavor did yeh get me?”

“Your favorite, purple cow.”

“Thank you.” He kisses you again as he takes the ice cream from you. “None for mummy?”

“I took a few bites of yours. I figured I’d just eat whatever he doesn’t finish.” You shrug.

“So it was a good appointment then?”

“Mhm, IUD is gone, and I picked up some vitamins she said could help. I’m in no condition to do anything tonight so don’t even think about it.”

“Hey, I’m completely innocent.” He takes a bite of ice cream. “So…when can we start trying then?”

“Whenever the mood feels right, honey.” You sit down on the little love seat and wipe Jack’s mouth.

“No!” He screams. He hates having his face wiped.

“Jack.” Harry says sternly. “Let mummy clean you up, you’re a mess.”

“No!” He screams again. Harry looks at you and then at Jack.

“Alright, I guess you don’t want ice cream then.” He sighs.

“Harry, no, it’s his treat for being good for me earlier.”

“He’s not bein’ good now.”

“And taking it away is just gonna make it worse. He doesn’t like the dry napkin, I’ll take him down to the bathroom in a minute.”

“Y/N.”

“Harry.”

“M’done, mumma.”

“Okay.” You take his cup and throw it in the trash. “Can we go clean up now?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh good, I was worried you’d say no.” You poke his tummy and he giggles. “See, we totally avoided a meltdown.”

“Guess I just don’t know him as well as you do then.” He grumbles.

“Harry, that’s not what I meant at all.”

“No, it’s fine. You get the best of both worlds with him. You’re a stay at home parent in the summer and then during the school year he still sees you more since he goes to daycare at work with you.” Harry follows you out and down to the bathroom. He holds Jack up so you can wash his hands.

“It’s not like you can close this place down or just not work in the summer time. You come home early, and that’s really great.”

“But you know him better, and then I…end up being the bad guy more. I swear he likes you better sometimes.”

“First of all, I’m the bad guy a lot, you’re just not there to see it. Second of all, he misses you all day long. He couldn’t wait to come surprise you. You’re an amazing father, Harry, please.” Harry sets Jack down once he’s all clean. “Come on, Jack we need go home and let Daddy get back to work.

“No!”

“Must be his favorite word today.” You mumble to Harry. “You can’t stay with Daddy, he has a lot to do. He’ll be home in a couple of hours.”

“No!” He starts crying and attaches himself to Harry’s legs.

“He can stay here, I have coloring books for him upstairs.”

“You won’t get anything done if he does. Jack, enough, we’re going home.”

“No!” He whales.

“Y/N, it’s fine. I’ll get plenty done. M’sure you could use the alone time, right?”

“He’s cranky because it’s almost nap time. He’ll fall asleep in the car and it’ll be fine. Help me get him in the car, please?”

Harry nods and picks a crying Jack up. These were the days you couldn’t wait for Jack to start preschool. Harry gets Jack strapped into his car seat, he was still crying.

“Jack, I need you to be good for mummy, okay? I’ll be home soon.”

“No, Daddy.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Harry. Let it go.” Jack continues to cry after Harry closes the car door. “He’ll fall asleep the second I start driving.”

“I know, it just breaks my heart. I feel so guilty.”

“Don’t.” You cup his cheeks. “You have nothing to be guilty over. He’s just being cranky. It’s how he is sometimes. He does the same thing to me if I take him to run errands at an odd time. He needs his nap, that’s all.” You kiss Harry quick. “I’ll see you in a little while.”

“Alright, love you.”

“Love you too.”

Harry watches as you drive away. He sighs heavily and goes back into the studio. Mariah was standing at Isaac’s desk with him.

“Is everything okay? I swear I heard crying.” She says.

“Jack didn’t feel like leavin’. He’s goin’ through the no phase right now. I don’t what’s worse, when he was teething or this.”

“Probably this, since he can talk back to you.” She smirks. “We all know how much you love that.”

“Hey, Mariah? Get back to work.” He grins, and goes back upstairs.

//

Harry comes home with a cauliflower crust pizza for dinner. He figured if you could surprise him, he could surprise you.

“We can keep it in the oven for now if it’s too early to eat.”

“Sounds good, yeah, it’s only 3:30, you know? But thank you this’ll be great. Hi Buster, how’s mumma’s boy?” You pet the top of his head.

“How’s Jack?”

“He’s fine.” You scoff. “Passed out in the car like I thought, and then I put him to bed for the rest of his nap. He’s coloring now at his table in the living room.”

“Daddy!” Jack exclaims when he sees Harry. He runs over to him and Harry picks him up. Harry gives him a nice kiss on the cheek.

“How was your nap?”

“Good.” He shrugs.

“Can I see what you’ve colored?” Jack nods and Harry carries him into the living room. Harry sits on the floor next to Jack so he can properly see the pages his drawn on. “Oh wow! That’s a good one, I like how you used green for everything, and then just put that one dot of blue there.” You giggle as you listen to him. Harry really was a good dad.

Around 7PM you get Jack down for bed and nearly collapse on the couch with Harry.

“Long day, babe?”

“Mhm, he was up early with me today. Crawled right in with me.”

“Aw, I love when he does that.”

“Me too, just not when I wanna sleep in a little.” You laugh. “I have no privacy to shower sometimes.”

Harry throws his arm around you as he turns the TV.

“Yeah? What do you need privacy for? Shavin’ your legs?” He smirks.

“You know exactly what I need privacy for.”

“So we really can’t have sex tonight?”

“I’m a little sore from the doctor, sweetie. Tomorrow.”

“I could eat you out, oh! Let’s sixty-nine.” He wiggles his eyebrows. You scrunch your face at him. “It’s been ages since we did that.”

“Harry, no.” You cross your arms and settle into his chest while you watch the screen.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not in the mood right now. I’m full from dinner and I’m tired.” You look up at him. “I shouldn’t even need to give you a reason, no should be enough.” You turn back to the TV and you hear him sigh.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m just excited.”

“I know.” You look at him again. “It’s hard not jumping you when I see you with him. You have way more patience than I do sometimes.”

“Oh I see, so you only get turned on when you see me hangin’ out with him. I get it.”

“No!” You laugh. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“It just makes you wanna have another.”

“Mhm.” You kiss his cheek. “You’re just so good.”

“You’re good with him too, you know that right?” You nod yes. “Good.”

//

A couple of days later, on Saturday, Harry woke you up early and you wanted to kill him.

“You’re worse than him, I swear.” You groan.

“Come shower with me.” He whispers.

“What?”

“He should be asleep a little longer and so should Buster. Come shower with me.” He tugs you out of bed and to your feet.

“Why?” You rub the sleep away from your eyes.

“So we can fuck, obviously.”

“We need to be in the shower to fuck?” You yawn.

“No…but…he can’t exactly walk in on us like this, can he?”

“Good point.”

Harry turns the water on, and once it’s warm you’re being yanked into the shower and pressed up against the tile.

“Oh god.” You moan as his mouth works over your neck and his fingers slip inside you.

He slots his mouth over yours to swallow your moans. Your fingers rake through his hair and he presses his hard dick against your thigh.

“Fuck, put it in, fuck me, Harry.” You whine.

He lines himself up with you and just gets the tip in when you both hear a tap on the door and a little boy’s voice calling for the two of you.

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.” He grunts. You step away from Harry and turn the water off. “Y/N!” He whines. “I’m gonna have blue balls.”

“So jerk off.” You snap. “I’m just as annoyed, deal with it.” You wrap a towel around yourself and open the door to see Jack sitting with his thumb in his mouth. “Good morning, my love.”

“Hungry.” He whines.

“Okay, mummy make you breakfast.” You secure your towel before picking him up and taking him downstairs.

Harry finally joins you in the kitchen and takes Buster out immediately. You watch as Jack picks at his cheerios. You make yourself and Harry some coffee so it’s ready for when he gets back.

“He needs to learn to stay in his bloody bed.” Harry grumbles when he gets back. “Can’t we put a gate up?”

“We did that, but he’s potty training now so he needs to be able to get into the bathroom in the morning and use the little potty if he needs it.”

“Think it’s time for a sleepover at Mimi’s.” That was what your mother wanted to be called instead of grandma.

“Harry.” You sigh. “We’re headed to London in like two weeks, where we will be staying for like three weeks. I’m sure your mum would love to have him to herself for a few days then. We can run off to the flat and have some alone time.”

“You wanna wait two fuckin’ weeks?!”

“Harry! You know how I feel about you dropping the f bomb in front of him.” You scold him. “Come on, Jack, let’s get you ready for the day. Auntie Sarah said you could come over and swim since it’s gonna be so hot out.”

“Yay!”

“Get your swimsuit on.” You say to Harry.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He says as he watches you rub sunscreen all over Jack.

“No, I don’t wanna wait two weeks, but my mom has a life too. She can’t just take him whenever we want.”

“What about your dad?”

“What about my dad?” You scoff. “He’s not sleeping over there.”

“Why not?”

“Because.” You stand up to look at him. “You know he’s traveling right now. He always goes for road trips in the summer.”

“Okay, what about-“

“Harry.” You snap and grit your teeth. “I love you, but go put your swim suit on, so I can go put mine on.”

Harry gets Jack’s things packed up while you get ready. You come down in a cute one piece and a pair of shorts.

“Got everything?” You ask.

“Yup.”

The three of you, plus Buster, walk down the street to Niall and Sarah’s. You walk around back to where the two of them are already sitting outside.

“Hey! Look who it is.” Niall says, and gets up to help with all the things you brought. “Y/N, are you alright? You look a little flushed.”

“I’m fine.” You set Jack down, and he toddles over to say hi to Sarah, who scoops him right up. “We got interrupted this morning.” You roll your eyes.

“Oh.” He looks at the two of you. “So go home for a little bit then.”

“No, it’s fine, we came to swim.”

“You can come back. We can watch him for a little while.”

“Thanks, mate.” Harry smiles, and you suck your teeth.

“Niall, we didn’t come over for you to babysit, it’s fine.”

“Oi, go home and make love to your husband would yeh?”

“Yeah, Y/N.” Sarah says. “I’ll play with him in the pool, he won’t even know you’re gone.”

“We-“ Harry lifts you up over his shoulder.

“We’ll be back in a little while, thanks guys.”

“Harry!” You squeal. “Put me down!”

He gets you back halfway to the house before putting you down. He shakes his head at you as he keys into your house.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m embarrassed.” You say shyly.

“Y/N, we’ve literally had sex with them in the same house as us before. S’not a big deal they know what we’re doin’.” He tilts your chin up to look at him. “Don’t you wanna love on each other?” He pouts.

“Of course I do…” You pout back.

“Alright, so let’s go upstairs to our nice air conditioned room, and get busy.”

You nod and follow him upstairs. You both get undressed and get on the bed. He takes some time to just caress your body, his fingers dancing up and down your soft skin. You take some initiative and grip his hardening cock and stroke it. His fingers slide between your legs and you moan out. He groans as your thumb rubs over his tip.

He stops his motions and gets you fully on your back, parting your legs. He licks his lips and attaches them swiftly to your clit.

“Christ!” Your hips buck up and he uses his forearm to pin you in place.

He licks all around your folds and then licks into you, using his free hand to rub circles on your clit.

“H, Harry.” You groan. Your hands reach for his hair and you get tight grip on him how he likes. He groans into you and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“You’re soaked, all this f’me.” He grunts as he continues to work his tongue.

“Wanted you all morning, I was so frustrated.” You start panting when you feel yourself get closer to the edge. “Oh my god, please don’t stop!”

Harry’s tongue moves back to your clit to flick at it while he gets a couple of fingers inside you to rub against that spongey spot. Your legs start shaking, you can’t take it anymore.

“Fuck!” You gasp as you come hard on his fingers. He gives your clit one last harsh suck before he brings his head up.

He licks his lips again and wipes everything else off with the back of his hand. He grins at you as he hovers over you. You grip his cock and pump it a few times before lining it up with your center. He slowly pushes inside you.

“Babe?”

“Yeah?” You look up at him with innocent eyes.

“Brace yourself.”

“Why?”

“M’gonna fuck you into this mattress.” Your eyes darken as your eyebrows raise. You nod and grip his shoulders.

//

Two hours later you return to Sarah and Niall’s. Both of you freshly fucked and happy. Niall was outside getting the grill started.

“He’s inside with Sarah, she said it was his nap time.”

“It is, she’s the best.” You say and go inside. Niall gives Harry a cheeky smile.

“Thanks.” He says. “Much needed time alone.”

“And you two wanna have another because…?” He jokes.

“I know it seems crazy to add more crazy to our lives, but we both really want it.” He steps a little closer to Niall. “She told me every time she sees me with Jack she practically wants to jump me to make another one.”

“Damn.”

You and Sarah come back out with a groggy Jack.

“Look who just woke up.” You coo.

“Hey, buddy.” Harry takes him from you and snuggles him close. “Wanna swim with Daddy after you wake up a bit?”

“Mhm.” Jack nuzzles in closer to Harry.

“Is that not the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?” You say to the group. “So sweet.” You kiss the top of Jack’s head.

“His curls are just like yours, Harry.” Sarah says.

Once Jack wakes up a little more, Harry brings him into the pool for a swim. You sit on the edge with Sarah, dipping your feet and calves in while Niall grills up lunch. Hearing Jack giggle while Harry would dip him in the water warmed your heart.

“He’s a really good, dad.” Sarah whispers to you.

“Yeah, he is.” You whisper back.

[antigoneidk]

can you write a blurb about stealing tom’s hoody and then he find s out and think its cute

Green hoodie|t.h.

A/N : thank you so much for your request babyy and sorry for being late but the stuff that are happening in this world right now are unbelievable. I don't want to be boring but we all know that we have to stop this kind of shit some people think they're allowed to do. Is not their job to take a man's life like that.

Warning : fluff,fluff,fluff

_

You spent the other night on your boyfriend's house,after an wonderful date the two of you had. You went bowling,with you winning and him pretending that he actually let you win. Just like teenage boy. Either way you wanted to make him dinner,take care of him and so you did at his place,just like he desired. The dark night found you sleeping in his arms,the moon hitting your face from the huge window.

You woke up at the couch,with a pillow in your arms that smelled like him. You squeezed more before letting a horrible sound come through your mouth. You sat up,stretching. Every bone inside you cracked,leaving you feeling how much of an grandma you were.

A green hoodie was lying at the edge of the couch. You had a prepared speech exclusive for yourself,about how you shouldn't steal any of his hoodies anymore. It wasn't yours,he gave his money to buy it for him,it was big for you-

You grabbed and putted on your body. The warmth and his body smell gave you enough comfort. You wrapped yourself with your hands and closed your eyes and suddenly it felt like he was next to you,hugging you. Even in your imagination,he had the power to wake the butterflies inside you and making the dance all over.

You were now walking towards the kitchen. Two cups of tea were on the table,one of them half empty,probably his. You took the other one in your hands,taking a sip and letting the hot drink warm your throat.

"Babe?"you asked waiting for his answer. Dead silence.

You moved to his bedroom. Maybe he went back to sleep there,not wanting to wake you up. You opened the door slowly and tried to be as quiet as possible. You had a big smile on your face just with his image lying down,sleeping. He was adorable like that. But he wasn't there either. Not even at the bathroom.

"Tom? Where are you?"what if he left? Maybe something came up and he had to leave early? That's why his cup was glad empty. But he could write you a note or even text you. A sad,cold feeling tickled you from head to toe as you were going back to the kitchen.

You finished your tea and decided to leave the house and go back to yours. Probably it was an emergency and he forgot to tell you.

"Call me when you see this. I left" you closed it and drove to your own place.

_

Clothes all over the floor,even in places that they weren't supposed to be. Dishes in the sink,begging you to clean them. Even coffee was spilled at your dinning table. Yes you were the most messiest person you've ever met but this was an whole another level. Immediately started with the coffee stain and then with the dishes.

After a while your phone rang. With soaking hands you checked it.

Babe💞appeared on your screen.

"Finally.Where have you been?"you asked.

"I was with Tessa outside. Why did you leave? I've been looking for you for about 10 minutes"you slapped your forehead with your hand and closed your eyes. You didn't even noticed that the dog wasn't there.

"I thought that something came up and that's why. I was so sleepy to see that Tessa wasn't with me either. I'm sorry"

"You don't have to my love, I just got scared but I saw your message so it's fine.You liked my tea huh?"

"I did yes,I always do"you laughed and heard his laugh from the speaker. The sound you loved the most in this planet.

"Oh..um..I left it here"he stopped and you heard him talk to himself,almost whispering.

"What happened?"you started feeling worried about him.

"My green sweater is missing too. Well it's gonna be somewhere here"you smiled and started playing with his hoodie,resting in one of the chairs now. You didn't want to wet it."Anyway,I'll be there in twenty minutes,I missed you"

"Already?"you giggled"I slept in your arms last night Tom"

"That is the reason why"you felt blushing and you looked down,as he was standing in front of you,not even a ten year old wouldn't act like this.

"I'll be waiting then"you said and looked at the mess behind you. You had to be quick.

"Love you"

"Love you too"you hang up on him and got back to work. He didn't have to see this chaos.

_

You were of how quick you done almost everything. It was definitely better than before and also you felt really motivated and productive. Feelings not so familiar. But that went away fast,as you started feeling exhausted. You sat at the couch and put something to watch. And as you felt like you were about to sleep,your doorbell rang,waking you up.

Tom.

You got up and almost ran to the door,but something green stopped you. You got his sweater in your hands and hid it behind a huge pillow. You didn't want him to find in your place. You thought that he would be upset about it. He was about to find it someday at his closet all of the sudden. Surprise. You ran again and opened the door. Two hands lifted you from the ground getting you inside again.

"Hii"you screamed with a higher voice and hugged his head,pulling into your chest.

"Hello baby"he kissed your lips and the time stopped there. Fairies around you,throwing glitter making this moment magical,just like the others. Every kiss was on your mind,with every detail. His hands around your waist,your feet around his,your stomach making turns inside your body,your heart about to explode.

"What is this?"you turned around looking at his hands,after feeling something scratching your back.

"I bought something to eat. I didn't have time to make anything and I know how lazy you get "he smiled and you felt your feet touching the ground again. You clapped your hands and got back to the room you spent most of your time today,to grab two plates and cups.

"I'm starving"you said looking at the Heaven in front of your eyes as the smells were flying in the air.You sat next to him,his arms around your shoulders and enjoying your food.

"Next time please leave a note"you said and turned to face him.

"I left for 30 minutes. I didn't think you'd leave."

"I thought that something important happened and that you wouldn't be back. That's the reason I left"you took another bite."And don't ask what would happen if Tessa was there. You know I'd take her with me"

"I know I've had to tell you but you were so adorable that it would have been a sin waking you up"he looked at you with a smile on his lips.

"Oh stop"you rolled your eyes at his compliment."you're being silly now"you placed your plate at the little table. He did the same and grabbed your waist,not letting you leave,as you planned.

"I'm not being silly,I'm telling you the truth. You are adorable baby,can't you see it?"he pushed your hair behind your ear"Every time you look at me and I'm melting. I'm falling in love more and more with how amazing you are. From the way you talk and act with other people I can tell that you're special. Even in your bad days you try to make everyone around you happy or even smile. And when I'm sick or not in a good mental state,you look after me and I know you're gonna be there with me to ease the pain. I'm forever grateful from my decisions that led me straight to you"

"And your outside. Your hair,you eyes,your lips,your body everything attracts me. The way you walk,or talk,or even doing something flatters me. My heart skips a beat from the sight of you,whenever you walk towards me and you smile. You're creature that's here to kill me and I love it"his lips met yours one more time. His hand on your cheek,a movement that you adored the most. Your hands playing with his hair and making him moan from his good it made him feel.

"I love you"you whispered to his ear and hugged him tight. He knew hot to cheer you up and make you feel the most loved person. You questioned the universe if you deserved such a lovely soul as his.

But he knew how to ruin romantic moments like these,better than anyone by just starting to tickle you.

His hands crossing your whole body and yours trying to stop him. You laughed loud and without taking any breaths. Your lungs begged for air but he couldn't let you. Tears started running from your eyes and screams from your mouth. He suddenly stopped and you took it as a  opportunity to run away from him. For a moment you thought he was sitting but as you turned around you saw him just an inch behind you. He picked you up once again and throw you back to your previous spot,this time with him on the top of you.

He was now kissing you with lust. Your legs around his torso,pulling him closer. Your hands under his shirt,scratching his back and making him moan to you. His big hands scanning your skin,every inch of it as it was something unique. His tongue fighting with yours,a fight he won everytime. You needed more of him. You needed him.

You tried to throw the huge pillows that decorated your couch to the side. But you forgot something.

"Is that my sweater?"his green hoodie was lying next to your bodies. He took it away and looked down at you. But your red face was hidden by your arms. You felt embarrassed and got scared for his reaction.

"I won't ask again,is that my hoodie y/n?"

You nodded to him. He left the sweater aside and tried to take your hands out of his way. You refused as much as possible,but he was stronger than you,you both knew that. Your face was now exposed and you bit your lower lip nervous.

"Why didn't you tell me you had it?"you couldn't meet his eyes.

"I was about to give it back to you. Well no,I wanted to put it in your closet without you knowing i stole it"you blinked fast."I'm sorry it won't happen again"

"I'm not mad darling,look at me"you didn't. He touched your chin and and then forced you to look him."I actually think it's cute that you wear them. They look good on you and they make you even more beautiful"

"You're not mad?"you asked him.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I stole it"you laughed nervously and ran your fingers through your hair.

"Put it on"he commanded. You raised your eyebrows without saying a word and following his demands. He took your hand and made his way to your bedroom,standing in front of the mirror.

"See? You look adorable babe. How can I be mad when you look like this?"you met his eyes as his hands hugged your little body from behind.

"I look like a potato in this"you closed your eyes at the feeling of his chest to your back."The only reason I wear them is that I feel you're with me all day. They smell like you"

He kissed your head and you turned around,your hands on his waist.His side smile,woke up your butterflies,starting to fly on your belly.

"You look cute and I want you to wear them all day and night. You can take them whenever you want"you kissed his cheek and giggled."And don't say you're sorry anymore for these kind of stuff.Please"he begged you with puppy eyes. You couldn't resist,it would be a shame.

"I'm sorry,I'll stop"you raised your one eyebrow,before starting kissing him again.

"Where were we?"

____________

Hope you enjoyed and sorry for any mistakess❣

[velvetthunder1999]

All the time on Earth

Part 4 - Butterbeer Moments

Summary: You start to spend more and more time with George, and the two of you slowly start to getting to know each other

Warnings: None

Word count: 2.4K

George Weasley x Reader

Masterlist

- Edited for grammar -

The three of you were sitting in the common room, leaning over the same piece of parchment on the table. Fred was doodling the last line of numbers on the bottom, while you and George were watching him with great anticipation.

“Finished!” Fred dropped the quill and tossed the parchment towards you “What do you think? Brilliant, if you ask me.”

You took the paper and looked over the numbers. You bit your lip, frowning.

“Oi, she doesn’t like it!” exclaimed Fred.

“Or she just cannot read your rubbish handwriting,” answered George to his brother, not taking his eyes off you. “Y/N? How is it?”

“It’s — not bad.”

“Not bad?” Fred was over the top acting offended. “This is the best price-product ratio there is!”

“Well, not exactly,” you said, pointing at the paper. “Look, here. You are offering one piece of Ton-Tongue Toffee for a galleon and a fake wand for three. But the Toffees take much more effort and money to manufacture than the wand.”

“So what are you saying?” asked George. “We can’t raise the price. Otherwise they won’t sell.”

“I’m saying if you wanna keep the price, try combine the two. Have you thought about releasing a booklet? People collect... let’s say ten signitures from you, one after every puchase and they’d get 10% off the next thing they buy. Sell the booklets individually for two galleons but put them in the box with the Toffees and the wand for free. Sell the boxes for five. Then people would buy it more and you get more money for some extra paper. You’ll make profit.”

The twins were staring at you, unusually quiet. You were quite satisfied with yourself. You were only thinking in the way you usually do when running your own business. It worked out for you, three years of success and counting. You didn’t mind helping out Fred and George, since they didn’t sell anything similar to the stuff you were selling.

“Well?” you asked impatiently. “What do you think?”

“You make it so complicated yet so easy” said Fred.

“George?”

“I like it. We can make more money but still not cheating our customers. It’s clean.”

“Yeah, all right,” Fred took the quill again and started writing. “Five galleons you say? Good. I’m showing it to Lee, ask what he’s thinking.”

He snitched the parchment and walked over to the window where Lee and Angelina were talking. You smiled at George and gathered your stuff.

“Well, I have to go to the library. Need to write my Charms essay.”

“To the library?” asked George, distraught. “It’s the middle of the winter break!”

“Well, some of us have to study for the exams, you know.”

“But you’re coming to the New Year’s Eve party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course I’m coming,” you said, putting your bag on your shoulders. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” —— You were playing Exploding Snap with Ginny by the window when you heard a loud cheer from the middle of the common room. It didn’t take you by surprise to see Fred standing on the table, juggling empty butterbeer bottles while George was standing by, raising his wand, navigating more and more glasses into his brother’s hand.

“It’s almost midnight,” Ginny said. “You want a drink?”

“Sure.”

She put down her cards and went to grab two glasses, but her seat didn’t stay empty for long. George left Lee the responsibility to throw the glasses at Fred, and sat down next to you instead.

“I couldn’t help but notice you sitting here alone,” he grinned. “But it’s all right now, I’m here to save you.”

“Yes, thank you for saving me from thirty seconds of loneliness,” you laughed, but let out a soft shriek when all the cards exploded on the table.

George picked them up and organized them into one pack. “Actually, I came here to ask you if you wanted to place a bet. The next task is almost here, you know.”

“Yesterday you scolded me for studying during the winter break but now you wanna talk about business?” you teased him. He seemed to like it when you did that.

“C’mon Y/N, business is different than some essay.”

“Wait, so asking for my money is always appropriate?” you pushed his shoulder playfully.

“All right, what about leaving the money out of it? Place your bet, and if you win I buy you a butterbeer at Hogsmeade after the task.”

“Please don’t let him make you gambling, Y/N,” said Ginny, returning with the drinks. She shot a suspicious look at her brother. “You’re not asking her to place bets, are you?

“It’s all right Ginny, George wouldn’t win a sickle from me if I didn’t let him,” you smiled at the boy, who was now leaning closer.

“But the Hogsmeade bet is on?”

“Yeah, sure. One butterbeer on Harry finishing first. Deal?” you offered your hand but when he shook it you felt your stomach jump.

“Deal. Grab your glasses ladies, it’s almost a brand new year!”

George had a really fun night after that, but sometimes he’d catch himself staring at you. He wasn’t sure what it was yet. You two had only been talking for a week and a half after all. Although, he enjoyed talking to you. You always seemed to match his cheerful tone, and you didn’t mind when he was joking around.

He shouted happy new years to you one more time when you decided to go to sleep. You waved him goodbye and he felt that nice warm feeling in his chest again. Was it so wrong, making new friends? He didn’t think so.

——

The next morning everyone woke up a bit late, and the majority of the students decided to hit the library, using the last day of the winter break to prepare for the next week’s classes. George however, had a different idea.

“Please Y/N,” begged the boy. “You already did all your homework. We should just go down to Hogsmeade, really.”

“I don’t know George, I’m really tired,” you said, massaging your temple. You didn’t get much sleep last night. “What about next weekend?”

“We should really do it this weekend,” said Fred, butting in. “We need to ask at Zonko’s if they’d sell our products. And at Honeydukes, too.”

“And why do you need me for that?”

“Well, you and the less handsome twin could talk to one place, me and Lee to the other. Meet up at the Three Broomsticks?”

George threw a pillow at Fred, but agreed to the idea. You also said yes, knowing that you’d just lie on the couch all day anyway.

The four of you headed down to the village, Fred and George walking up front while you were talking with Lee behind them. Then when the first houses started to show, you went separate ways.

“I shouldn’t have dressed this warm” you said, getting rid of your scarf. “It’s really hot today.”

“Yeah, I know” answered George, pointing at the ground. “Snow’s melting already.”

“Good. I don’t like snow.”

He stopped in his tracks, staring at you like he had just seen a ghost.

“What did you say?”

“What? I don’t like it.” you said. “It just makes walking so much harder.”

“All right now, stop,” he said, shaking his head while started walking again. “There’s nothing better than a good ol’ snowfight!”

“Yeah? So winter’s your favorite, then?”

“Yeah — No,” he shrugged, smile on his face. “I like every season for something else. You? I’m guessing winter’s a taboo.”

“I like winter — from the indoors,” you tried to save yourself. “Watching the snow from someplace where it can’t touch you. But I like autumn. It means school is starting again.”

“Well, that was an incredibly horrible thing to say.”

“What? Why?”

He started mocking you playfully.

“School is starting again!”

You pretended to be offended, then continued in a genuine tone.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like being here.”

“No, I like being here.”

“Then what?”

He hesitated.

“Well, mum, you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Tell me.”

He glanced at you. You didn’t want to push him, though.

“Or don’t. If you don’t want to.”

“It’s all right. It’s just that — that mum really tries to push us. She wants us to study hard, work in the Ministry like Percy. But it’s not for us. Not for me and Fred, anyway.”

“So what do you wanna do?”

You still had two years left of Hogwarts, but you knew how hard it was to decide what you wanted to do later.

“Well — er — ” it was the first time you saw a shy smile on George’s face. “We want to open a joke shop.”

“Like Zonko’s?”

“Almost. Only bigger and better than that. With more pizzazz.”

“Yeah, I can see you doing that. I mean, if you keep making those Nosebleed things — and they actually work...” you gave him a snarky look and he laughed “...then why not do it? You’re not gonna be able to work for the Ministry if you just hate every minute of it.”

“Exactly.”

He nodded ceremoniously before opening the door to Honeydukes. He let you go in first, then you two headed straight to the cash register. While George was haggling, you were staring out the window, watching the street behind the shop. Just as you were turning away, you saw a huge black dog crossing the sidewalk. You were quite fond of dogs, so you followed it with your eyes until it disappeared behind a dumpster.

“All right, we’re ready,” said George, claiming your attention for himself again. “Three Broomsticks?”

“Let’s go,” you agreed, walking out the shop. “So, what did she say?”

“She said she’d talk to his husband, but she seemed to be interested. We should come back next week, though.”

“That’s a good start.”

Fred and Lee were not around yet so you sat down to one of the tables in the corner. You ordered two butterbeers and you finally got rid of your warm coat, after it turned out to be such an unnecessary item on this bright day.

“So what about the rest of your family?” you asked. “You said Percy is working at the Ministry.”

“Yeah, my dad also. He collects muggle items, too.”

“Really?”

“Well, more like garbage, actually,” he laughed. “Dad loves muggles. Finds them interesting. Mum thinks he’s mad, but — ” he shrugged “— it’s a hobby, you know.”

“And what about your other siblings? Charlie was just finishing in the year I was sorted.”

“Yeah, he works in Romania now. Studies dragons there. He brought the ones for the first task, too.”

“What, really?” your jaw dropped, then you took a sip. “Well, he clearly deserves all the money he’s earning cause that seems to be the most dangerous job I’ve ever heard of.”

George laughed then he drank, too.

“Yeah, and my other brother works in Egypt. Have you been?”

“Not really.”

“We visited him a year ago, it was amazing. Dad won a prize at the Ministry so we had the mon — er — we had the time to visit everything. Fred and I tried to lock Percy in a pyramid but mum didn’t let us.”

“I wonder why,” you giggled at the sight of his reminiscing face. “So what else did you do there — other than torturing your brother, of course?”

He told you everything about ‘one of his best summers’ as he called it, and you didn’t mind just listening, watching him talk. If two weeks ago someone had said to you that you’re gonna be here sitting with George Weasley, you wouldn’t see the point in that at all. But in this moment it felt like one of the most natural things you could do.

“Do you need another one?” George asked you as your drinks slowly started to run out. You hesitated, glanced at Madam Rosmerta, then turned back to George.

“If I do something will you tell on me?”

“What?” George asked, curious.

You checked the bar again, then took out your wand and held it under the table. You pointed at the glasses, said the refilling charm non-verbally, then watched how the glasses were full of butterbeer again a second later.

You looked at George, a shy expression on your face. You didn’t know what he was gonna say.

“I don’t always do this,” you started. “And I always pay for the first one. But sometimes money just runs short and I can’t always do something about it.”

You casted your eyes down. Suddenly you weren’t sure sharing your secret was a good idea. But George understood.

“No, I get it. I don’t always have much money either. I know it’s — mum and dad do the best they can but, you know — there’s a lot of us” he nodded.

“That’s why you’re trying to sell your fake wands?”

“Mm. Any way is a good way if it makes money. How did you do it, though?”

“Did what?”

“The spell. To refill the beer. You don’t learn non-verbal magic in your year. We only just started doing that.”

“Oh. Well, I learned it by myself. I had to, if I wanted to do stuff like this, you know.”

“But it’s still advanced level of magic.”

“Well, everything’s achievable with enough practice.”

“Blimey,” he said, quite amused. “You really are something.”

You felt the warmth in your chest again. You shot a grateful smile towards the boy sitting next to you.

“Thanks.”

“Isn’t it exhausting? Always studying, I mean.”

“I study while I’m home in the summer.”

“You study in your summer break? That’s outrageous!”

“Don’t really have anything else to do anyway.”

“Well, we can figure out something, go somewhere this summer. I mean, if it’s alright with your parents as well.”

“I don’t think they’d really mind. They’d be delighted, me leaving again.”

“Are they really that bad?” he asked, sadness in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you said in a low voice, then spoke in apathy. “It’s okay, though. I got quite used to it by now.”

George opened his mouth to answer but two extra glasses appeared on the table and chairs creaked on the floor next to you.

“You two were really fast!” Fred exclaimed while he and Lee took a seat. “You even had time to start drinking without us. How was Honeydukes, Georgie? What did they say?”

George needed a second to understand what the bloody hell Fred was talking about. He looked at you, confused, then to Lee, then tried to come up with some useful information. But his mind was elsewhere. From the corner of his eye he was watching you. And for the first time in his life he wished if only his brother had arrived a few minutes later.

[ask-villain-izuku-midoriya]

Talking about abuse and toxic families

Ace again. Kinda wanna talk about something.

A lot of people are convinced that I was lying about my family. About how bad it was there.

At first, I just thought of our relationship as unhealthy. But some people made me realize it was beyond that.

It was abusive. Physically, verbally and mentally.

Remember when I stated before that someone close to me broke my glasses and tried to kill me? That was my mom. She also lied about it to my dad, saying that I tried to attack her, and naturally he believed her.

My dad also made an attempt on my life once. I got in trouble for watching TV while wiping down the table. I still remember it all. It was on a Thursday night, and American Idol was on. It was near the finals, and Casey James’s cover of Mrs. Robinson was playing. I was 9 at the time. My dad was laying on the couch when my mom told him, and he called me over. He asked me why, and I got scared. I was stammering and shaking, and then he got up.

I remember him standing in front of me for a good 5 seconds, and it made me realize how small I was to him.

Then he grabbed me by the neck.

He picked me up and yelled, “ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION! WHY?!”

I don’t think I had ever been so scared in my life. I genuinely thought he was going to kill me.

I guess he realized that what he did was wrong(that or he realized that, y’know, when you got your hands around someone’s neck, they can’t really answer you), because he set me down and told me to go to my room(which I’m gonna talk about in a minute).

My mom came in after me, and told me to go brush my teeth, “because she sure as hell wasn’t gonna pay a dentist to do it.(also gonna talk about in a minute)”

Afterwards, she got her turn of yelling at me and wrestling me and making me feel like shit. She left for about 20 minutes, probably so that she could calm down a bit and put on a sugary sweet facade and apologize.

I forgave her. Stupid me. Only hurt me worse.

But my dad never apologized.

They’re mostly faded but I have scars on my back from when they spanked me. They experimented with everything: wooden spoons, plastic spatulas, belts, sandals, books, even a plastic hairbrush of mine.

My mom also punished me by pouring things down my throat. Tabasco sauce, Dawn soap, vinegar, you name it. I remember one time I said a bad word and my mom made my siblings pour vinegar in my mouth. I was standing there, sobbing and drooling like a rabid fucking dog, while she lounged in the pool and watched. To this day, if I even smell Dawn soap or Tabasco sauce, I start gagging. I have to have my coworkers make the hot wings at work, because I can’t fucking stand it.

One time we had this bulldog named Hercules, who was really aggressive. He attacked one of our other dogs and I tried to break up the fight. I ended up with a chunk of my arm missing, and after the incident, my mom blamed me, saying that I was stupid enough to try and break them up that it was my fault. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, and that just kinda crushed me.

By 11 I was having...thoughts. Thoughts of, would they be happier people if I just didn’t exist? I felt like I was just an ant to everyone. Nobody would be hurt or be sad if I left.

The sad part was, it wasn’t just my parents. It was my siblings too.

Things got worse as I got older. One time my mom poured Dawn soap in my mouth, and then got in my face and screamed at me. I tried to talk, but my mouth was full of soap and it got in her eye. She punched me hard, so hard that I fell over. Later I looked in the mirror and saw blood running from my nose to my collarbone.

Others have witnessed the actual abuse happening. My grandma(her mom), my grandpa(my dad’s dad), my brother’s dive coach, my sister’s boyfriend/family friend, my brother’s friends, everyone.

One time my sister was mad at me when we went to the grocery, and sent me to get some ginger root. The ginger root was massive, so I tried to pick the smallest one. When I came back, she was pissed off that the one I grabbed was still pretty big. I tried explaining to her that they were all big, she threatened to punch the shit out of me, and that she didn’t care if she got arrested for it. The bagger saw it all, and asked me if I was okay.

It’s a sign that things are not okay when you have to smile through the tears and lie through your teeth.

My room was literally a walk-in closet. There was no built-in AC so often I would have to sleep in a 104 degree room. If I even TRIED using the bathroom or getting water, I would get in trouble, causing me to develop UTIs.

I only went to the doctor once every couple of years. They were just for check-ups. That was it. One time I had a bad stomach flu, it was probably the sickest I had ever been, and I begged, PLEADED for them to take me to the doctor. And they just said that I ate too much pizza. They didn’t believe it was a stomach bug until everyone else caught it.

Basically I was the joke in the family. Everyone was so successful, and I just felt like they were comparing me to them and rubbing it in my face. After I failed out, whenever the topic of my siblings’ success came up, my mom would scoff and say, “Well, I got the first three right, dunno about the last.” Every time she said that, it hurt so much.

One time my brother told me nobody in the household loved me, just that they were forced to love me because I was family. It’s been years since he told me that, and it still hasn’t gone away.

By 15 the thoughts escalated into voices. Voices that echoed everything they said about me. They still haunt me to this day. By then I needed glasses and nobody believed me, and I felt like I was abandoned.

At sixteen I was having suicidal thoughts. I had lived out part of my life and it wasn’t enough. Nobody loved me, nobody cared for me. Living was pointless. Classmates saw what was happening but when CPS came, all they saw was the pool, the nice cars, the TV and video game setup(which I was never allowed to touch because I was always in trouble with them), all of that. They didn’t see how I procrastinated on going home. They didn’t see the scars my mom had left on my skin. They didn’t see that my anxiety had developed into a skin picking disorder, and that I had torn up my skin because of how bad it was.

I wasn’t allowed to have friends over, or go over to a friend’s house. If my classmates gave me a ride, my mom would fucking explode. I wasn’t allowed a phone. In junior year my mom saw that I was listening to YouTube while writing an essay at school and locked me out of my school email. That was part of why I failed. Didn’t have access to my own homework.

I felt alone. My mom told me that I didn’t have friends at school, that the people I called “friends” were younger kids, and they only were my friends because nobody in my grade liked me or wanted to be around me. My siblings said that nobody would want to date my ugly fat ass.

With both of my jobs, she wouldn’t let me go to work unless I finished all of my chores. Sometimes she would make do really hard stuff, like mowing the grass, so that by the time I would get to work, I was drained. Plus, they made sure I didn’t touch my paychecks.

I spent $85 on a present for my mom on Valentine’s day, and I never got a thank you, further proving that I was unappreciated there.

I’ve tried so many things to keep my family happy, sometimes going a day without food because I didn’t want to eat something of theirs and upset them. I have bought them gifts, I have tried having fun conversations, I have gotten them food, I have done almost everything.

But it was never enough. I’d just feel so cold and empty inside.

I could keep going on about what all they did to me. But the moral of the story is: don’t stick around for somebody who’s gonna treat you like shit. Because all they’re gonna do is take advantage and hurt you even more.

[darlingsdevil]

Of The Valley (Joel x Reader)

Chapter 6: MIA

Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder.

CHATPER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of teenage drinking and smoking weed.

Tag list (comment to be added or removed) @sidepuff @joelsheartache @fangirl-inthe-us @cowboyfrazer @scarletpines @mikah-writes @sleepylunarwolf @mr-robot-x @shybookdragon @heughan @writer-jamie @nelliecraine

Of The Valley Masterlist

RDR2 Masterlist

•••

You fell asleep on the couch once you calmed down, you wanted to sleep for the night and worry tomorrow. Yet loud knocking on your door in the late hours of the night awoke you.

You jolted awake and looked out through the window from your spot on the couch, seeing a shadow of a person through the curtains.

Another loud knock.

“Alright! Fine! I’m coming!” You shouted, angrily throwing your blanket off of you. You unlocked the door and looked at the visitor.

“Dina?”

“Hey, Y/N. I’m really sorry for waking you up so late and probably Mark too, I know this is super out of the blue but, do you by any chance know where Ellie went?” She asked you. Dina wasn’t on your list of people you had avoided, she was constantly in the bar with Jesse. Dina was the life of the party, with her came laughter and excitement, she was easy to be around, which is why you never avoided her. There were no expectations from her, she was just a kid that was kind and didn’t push. You hadn’t seen her nearly as much as you used to, or anyone for that matter, but you never outright refused to be around her, or cross the street when you saw her walking your way.

You shifted in your spot, straightening yourself up. “No, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that I don’t know where Ellie went, I looked around town and everything but she’s not here,” Dina said, worry slowly filling her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where she went. Maybe ask Joel?”

“I just.. don’t want to worry Joel or put anymore strain on them,” Dina explained. “But I just figured since you went on patrol with them she could have mentioned it.”

“No, she didn’t mention it to me. Any chance she could have snuck out?” You rose a brow. Teenagers snuck out all the damn time, it was no secret, though rarely anyone mentioned it. It was an unspoken rule, teenagers even in the apocalypse were rebellious.

“It’s probably the most likely choice.. I’m just worried because it’s so late and she almost always tells me beforehand or invites me along too,” Dina rambled, her hands fidgeting at her side as she explained it to you.

“Have you told Maria, Ellie’s missing?”

“No, Maria would kill Ellie if she knew she snuck out.” That was true, considering when teens usually snuck out they smoked pot and drank alcohol, you didn’t want Maria searching for a dopey drunk Ellie.

“Yeah, I would tell her if Ellie doesn’t come back by sunrise,” You suggested. “Where’s Jesse by the way?”

“We got into an argument earlier, I just didn’t want to bother him, you know?”

You understood that well enough.

“I’m going to go out looking for her, I just wanted to make sure someone knew where I was going too, sorry for waking you, goodnight.” Dina was ready to leave, but you pulled her back. You could leave Jackson for an hour or two.. you had done it for a full night, besides you couldn’t let a teenager go out there by herself. You couldn’t let her wake up Joel or alert Maria either, both would make Ellie only angrier. You didn’t want to leave Jackson, much less two days in a row, but if you had done it before you could do it again. It wasn’t patrol either, you would probably find her within the next few hours. She couldn’t have gone far.

“Woah, woah, woah. You can’t go out there alone, especially not during the night, I’m going with you.”

“Are you sure?” Dina asked.

“Yeah I am, let me go get my coat first, I’ll be right back.” You fetched your coat from your room, grabbing the pistol hidden in your dresser, you never wanted to pick it up again, or even have to use it, but there was no way you would leave town without it. The last thing you wanted to do was use it on hunters or infected — no matter who you were shooting at, you didn’t want to be the one to pull that trigger. But if it came down to life or death, you would use it, even if every ounce of your body screamed in protest, you would disregard it, you had used your rifle yesterday, what was a pistol to that? You still had work in the morning and was putting yourself in harm's way while pregnant really the best idea? It didn’t matter.. you needed to make sure Ellie was safe. You returned to Dina, she was biting her nail gently, her brow furrowed.

Once you stepped outside you realized how cold it had gotten, you could see your breath as you exhaled.

You waved the gun in the air, showing it to her.

“Any chance you have your gun with you?”

“No, I went to her house first and then got caught up looking for her, I forgot to bring it with me,” Dina explained.

“Hold on. There’s another gun upstairs, I’ll get it,” You replied, turning around and walking over to the staircase that led up to his loft. Mark had a stash of guns in his room, as protective as he was of all of his belongings, you were certain he wouldn’t mind you letting Dina borrow one. It wasn’t like he would be needing them anytime soon anyways.

But you hadn’t stepped foot in his room since it happened.

You opened the door up to the staircase, your head feeling like it was going to explode. Your heartbeat so loud in your ears you were sure even Dina could hear it. Every step was a louder groan from the creaky steps that resonated in your ears, you walked as slowly as you could. It was dusty in the staircase, it had been a long time since it had been used.

When you finally reached the top step you were ready to turn back around, tell Dina that you couldn’t find it. But you needed to open that door and let the memories flood in. You were having a child, if that wasn’t a new beginning you weren’t sure what was.

You weren’t ready to confront it all head on. The first step in a long road to recovery, it wasn’t something would happen overnight. But you had to start somewhere, maybe you started yesterday when you began reconciling with Joel, or stepping foot out of Jackson again, picking up a gun and doing the job you were meant to do. Regardless of when you started, that door was meant to be open, and you were at the very least ready to see what was behind it.

Even if you were terrified, even if you wanted to turn back. That door had to be opened.

You gently turned the knob, stepping inside the room. You felt like an intruder, like you had stepped into a scene you weren’t supposed to be in.

It looked different than you remembered.. everything had a darker hint to it, like the room had completely lacked life in the way that some abandoned places did. There was no presence, no feeling of being watched, just a room devoid of life..

Yet it also looked the same, his bedsheets still ruffled from that night.. his band posters littering the walls, his dusty record player in the corner. His snake plant by the window that had long since died. His never ending piles of flannels too.

It was almost too much, seeing his things left frozen in time, knowing that Mark would never return to this room. You had neglected everything he had so meticulously created, whether it be the plant he miraculously kept alive for years, the records he claimed needed to be heard regardless of how obscure they were, you had forgotten about it all. And now there was not even an energy in the room, like the life of the room itself in there had died with him. Now there was not even a presence of him, just a hallowed husk of a room.

There was something out of place though. Mark’s dog tags sitting on the knob of the dresser. He never took them off. Why were they here now? You could have sworn he was buried with them..

Maria.

It had to be Maria. When had she snuck up here? They looked like they had been there for awhile, collecting dust and all. Was the photo he kept in his pocket here too? You looked around the room but could not find them, instead you found his gun in his bedside table, grabbing his dog tags and locking away the memories behind you.

You walked back downstairs to Dina, you handed her Mark’s gun.

“I hope I didn’t wake Mark,” She said sincerely, placing the gun in her waistband.

“You didn’t.” You shook your head, clutching the dog tags in your hand.

•••

You and Dina had to be smart, taking side streets and cutting through backyards to get to the West gate. Dina decided Ellie was most likely in three places, the lake, the ski resort or the art museum that had a rooftop exhibit overlooking the river. The lake was the closest and was your best bet, so you decided to go there.

It wasn’t uncommon for you to be out at night, especially considering you had work very early in the morning, but this was too early. You hoped no night owls were up to see you with Dina at such a late hour.

You led Dina to the small hole in the wall that you could both easily slip through, dodging the night guards and the spotlights, you hugged the wall as you made it far enough to where you could not be seen. Perhaps it was foolish to sneak out to look for Ellie.. but you didn’t want to risk her getting in trouble with Joel or Maria.

You were anxious being outside of Jackson.. like there was a threat looming around every corner, but you had to find Ellie no matter what. You were glad Dina came to you, even if you weren’t her first, or second choice for that matter.

It didn’t matter if you had work in the morning — or you were pregnant, you needed to find Ellie. That was all that was on your mind, finding her, and making sure she got back into town safely and under the radar.

Ellie could handle herself well enough, you were hoping she was fine and just lost track of time. But why hadn’t she told Dina earlier in the day? Did she just forget? Was she with Cat? You were cautious of Cat.. she seemed nice enough but seemed like somewhat of a bad influence, and Ellie’s relationship with Cat seemed to cause a riff between her and Dina. Of course though, it wasn’t your place to judge. Joel was clueless when it came to teenage romance.. or perhaps he wasn’t and just hadn’t put Ellie and girls together. You hadn’t ever asked Ellie about it, but you knew regardless and she never denied it. At least to your knowledge she hadn’t told Joel.. which was understandable, but you doubt Joel would care and would still love her regardless.

You and Dina managed to make it to the treelines, far from the gate. It was only then did you begin talking.

“I’m going to be so pissed if she’s just drunk,” Dina said bitterly, shaking her head. You held your gun more tightly as you ventured further out. The lake wasn’t far at all, a twenty minute walk at most.

“How often do you guys sneak out?” You asked, your voice a whisper. Dina walked close to you as you found the nature path that led to the lake. It had been so long since you walked that road.. at least three months.

“It depends. A lot though, more often in summer. Not usual for us to go out in fall though, same for spring. Winter we usually just go sledding. I’d say once a month or so,” Dina replied quietly.

You continued walking in silence before Dina spoke.

“Have you ever snuck out?”

“I have, just a few times. Even adults get ansty sometimes.”

“I guess that’s only somewhat shocking. The one person I could never imagine sneaking out is Joel, he seems too hardcore survivalist to any fun.”

“You would be surprised,” You chuckled lightly.

Dina whipped her head around to face you, her mouth agape in humorous shock.

“You’re telling me Joel Miller is a party animal?”

“He’s not.. that much of a partier,” You said, your voice very quiet.

“I can’t believe this. And Mark?”

“Yeah, Mark is the party.” Mark didn’t particularly like big parties.. he preferred smaller ones but he still knew how to let loose.. perhaps too loose sometimes.

Dina didn’t have much to say to that, other than that she could see that Mark liked to party. It was true, Mark liked dancing, music and hard liquor, he just didn’t particularly like large groups of people, as much of a social butterfly as he was.

You walked in silence for a few more minutes, your mind on high alert, glancing behind you frequently to make sure anything - or anyone was following you. You knew it was stupid to not tell anyone where you and Dina were going, or that you had snuck out, but you didn’t want to risk Ellie being caught. It was strange, you had completely abandoned her and Joel for months and now you couldn’t stand the thought of her getting in trouble at the expense of just doing something a normal teenager would do. Perhaps it was the weird new maternal instinct that magically kicked in.

It was uncommon for infected to be nearby town. In fact, it was very rare. There were constant patrols during the day within a three mile radius of town, infected were found and put down quickly. The guns were still another layer of protection, if Ellie was further from town there was a chance you would need them. You were still completely on edge, Dina was too. Being outside of Jackson was the last thing you wanted to do again, yet here you are, not even a day later.

You wondered why Ellie would leave without saying anything, especially to Dina. They were as thick as thieves, they really cared about each other, no wonder Dina was nervous. Ellie was upset when she came back with Joel the other day, maybe she just needed to clear her head. But sneaking out? That was uncalled for. There were quiet places in Jackson she could have gone to.

The top of the lake house came into view as you reached the peak of a hill. There was a small fire by the far side of the lake, next to the house. The lake house was not technically a house, and more like a mansion. It was a popular spot to sneak out to, considering it was one of the few places out of town that had electricity and wasn’t completely abandoned. Occasionally, Maria let people visit the lake every summer as a reward for their hard work.. though patrollers (once yourself included) liked to stop at the lake if they got back early.

“Think that’s her?” You pointed out towards the fire at the side of the lake. Dina nodded next to you. You were glad you didn’t have to walk fourty minutes to get to the art museum or ski resort, both being in opposite directions of one another. Unless.. that wasn’t Ellie. It could easily be hunters, but hunters liked to hide. They wouldn’t be out in the open though. The last time you came across a group of people it had gone worse than you could have ever imagined, you pushed that thought to the side.

The lake was mysterious looking, it’s dark waters glistening in the moonlight like it held many secrets. Three months ago, you stood here in the heat of summer, your shirt sticking to your back, waiting to jump into the water and pop open a can from a six pack, the sun beating down on the water making it shine brightly. But now it just looked cold and dark, yet not unwelcoming. Now the fall air was crisp, the leaves dark and crunch under your feet, your breath lingering in the air visibly.

You led Dina down the path to the dock, from there you would be able to get a better look at the people at the bonfire. It looked like a group, seven or so people. You stuck to the trees until the plants growing in the water were tall enough to shield you. You could hear loud laughter, whoever these people were, they weren’t particularly subtle. You figured it was most likely Ellie and a group of other rebellious teens.

“That them?” You said gruffly, peeking out from behind the plants, hearing the waves lap at the shore.

“Yeah, yeah, I think so,” Dina mumbled, staring at the group by the lake. You couldn’t make out faces, but they looked like teenagers.

“Recognize any of them?”

“I can’t see much. It looks like a party though.” There were cans littered around the fire, at least from what you could see.

“It’s probably them then, come on, let’s go,” You said motioning for her to get up with you. Dina pulled herself up next to you, following you on the path to their bonfire. If they were drunk, you doubt they would notice you until you were right on top of them. Stupid kids.

As you got closer you could hear bits and pieces of their conversation, they definitely sounded like teenagers.

“Why do you think Ellie didn’t tell you?” You whispered.

“I don’t know, she could be with Cat.”

You wrapped around the group by taking the path into the woods so you could ‘sneak’ up on them in case they weren't who you thought they were. If you were quiet enough, they wouldn’t notice you until you were right on top of them.

As you got closer, Dina recognized them. She began walking faster to the group, louder too. She went far ahead of you. They noticed immediately.

“What the fuck was that?” You heard one of them whisper-yell. They all began looking around. There was no Ellie or Cat in sight.

You had to lightly jog to catch up with her as Dina made it out in the open.

“Dina? What the hell are you doing out here?” One of them asked, they all stood up. You recognized them, you didn’t know their names, having only seen them in passing.

“Do you guys know where Ellie is?” She asked, her voice slightly harsh.

You caught up with her, walking out in the open to meet her. The group stiffened, they kicked their beer cans to the side and one even hid her joint behind her back, you could still see the smoke, and there was no doubt most of them were faded. The smell gave that away.

“Uh yeah. She’s in the lake house with Cat,” The one who had the not-so-hidden-blunt said. You squinted at the lake house and saw that there were lights on in one of the bedrooms.

Dina glared at the house and lightly scoffed.

“Thanks. Don’t get too drunk tonight, be back before sunrise too,” Dina said dismissively, already marching her way up to the lake. The group behind you relaxed, already getting back to their teenage binge.

You kept a careful eye on Dina, jealousy bubbling underneath her. She knew that she shouldn’t feel that way with Ellie, especially considering she was off and on with Jesse.. at least right now she was. It felt wrong to be in love with her best friend, yet she also liked Jesse too. She was always jealous of Cat.. Cat wasn’t good for Ellie, anyone with a pair of eyes could see that.

“Were those your friends?” You asked her as you made your way up to the lake house, glancing behind you at the bonfire.

“Cat’s,” She replied plainly.

You remained silent for the rest of the way as you made it into the house. You remembered the last time you were here.. the party, with Mark. You had put Mark’s dog tags on, you could feel them lightly jingle each time you took a step. His necklace left a feeling of comfort in you, even though you had banished the thought of him for months, now here you were wearing his dog tags like everything was fine. Maybe it was, or was on its way to be. The only thing on your mind tonight was returning Ellie safe and sound to Jackson, not having a baby, not rebuilding your relationship with people you had neglected, not coming to terms with Mark’s death, only Ellie.

The lake house was very open, every room seemingly sprawling with dark wood accents and a winding staircase that led up to the upper floor. People mostly stayed (and partied) on the first floor, but the upstairs wasn’t completely off limits.

Dina walked swiftly up the stairs, her brow furrowed in anger. You tried your best to keep up with her.

“Ellie?” She shouted, you followed her. As you made it to the top of the steps, you heard rustling in one of the rooms.

“Just, stay there!” Cat called out, Dina didn’t listen. She found the room they were in and barged in.

Both Ellie and Cat covered themselves up quickly, you rolled your eyes and turned away. They were blushing madly and Dina glared at the two.

“Really? What the hell is wrong with you? Sneaking out, not telling me where you were going?” Dina jabbed, placing her hands on her hips.

“Ellie’s not your responsibility, you don’t have to know where she is all the time,” Cat hurled back. Ellie shot her a look.

“She’s my best friend. I think I have a right to care about her and make sure she’s safe.”

“Will you two shut up please? Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Ellie said angrily, pulling her shirt on. You stayed outside the room, leaning against the wall.

“Come on, get your stuff. We’re going back to town,” Dina said to Ellie.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Cat challenged.

“Oh yes she is. It’s late and Ellie’s very obviously drunk.” You couldn’t see inside the room, but you were sure there was alcohol in there.

You decided to split up the fight before it got any worse. As soon as you popped up behind Dina, Ellie immediately looked at you in confusion. You weren’t who she was expecting.

“We do have to leave, Ellie. It’s late. If Joel or Maria finds out that you snuck out, they won’t be happy,” You persuaded. Ellie looked very drunk, her face was pink and she didn’t look totally in the present. Cat was the same too, but a lot more angry.

Ellie looked over at Cat, sighing before she spoke. “It is late.. I’m sorry, I have to go back, Joel gets up in a few hours.”

Cat scoffed before rolling her eyes, “Fine. Just go. I’m staying.”

Ellie retrieved her things from the room, pulling on the rest of her clothes while you walked back into the hall.

“Is Cat always like this?” You asked Dina quietly, glancing over your shoulder to the room. You could hear them arguing.

“No.. I think she’s just angry, I interrupted her and Ellie. Cat and I have never really gotten along, but it’s never been like this,” Dina shook her head.

Ellie came out of the room, shame burning in her. You all began walking towards the staircase before Ellie began. The silence was thick and awkward.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how late it got.”

“You could have told me where you were going, Ellie,” Dina replied softly, both averting each other's gaze.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You didn’t interrupt them, you were just there as the chaperone. It wasn’t your place to judge either. Ellie needed a scolding.. but you weren’t the person to give her one at that time. You would need to repair your relationship with her first before you would be in any position to tell her off.

You were relieved that Ellie was safe and just lost track of time, you hoped she wouldn’t have too bad of a hangover in the morning. Considering how she stumbled occasionally and looked not so stable on her feet, you sure that she would atleast feel something in the morning.

You were damn tired, and you had work in the morning too. You just wanted to rest.

“Ellie!” Someone shouted angrily from below you, startling all of you.

“Holy shit. Maria?” Ellie cursed, her eyes widening. You looked over the railing to the lower floor.

Maria was there, and she was not happy.

•••

[ohsugar-honey-iced-tea]

Welcome home, Dexter

It's Bella's birthday and Ina surprises her with the cutest little puppy ever! Pure fluff :)

Writing this kind of helped me. We lost our dog 2 weeks ago, so writing this helped me a lot.

Also a big thank you to @kulaykape for helping me with getting some inspiration :)

Enjoy!

@domakir @dopeyouth @thedaft1 @citybornchick @astrangeandunusualgirl

-------------------------------------------------------

Ina was very, very nervous for the next upcoming minutes. It was 4.45, Bella should get home from classes any moment now. Today was Bella's birtday, and Ina was going to make sure it was going to be one to never forget. She was going to make Bella's childhood dream come true.

*5 months ago*

Ina had a good band with Bella's parents, and she decided to call Bella's mother, planning on asking her what would be the perfect gift for Bella. Bella does so much for Ina, without her even knowing, she wanted to give her something that would tell her how much she meant to her and how serious she thinks their relationship is.

"Hello, ms. Fiennes, how are you?"

"I'm good dear, how about you? How's my little girl?"

"I'm good. We're good. Everything is going great."

They talked for several more minutes before Ina cut to the case.

"Bella's birthday is coming up in a few months. I want to give her something she's been wanting for a long time. Do you have any ideas?"

Ms. Fiennes simply laughed.

"Ina, sweetie, if you want to give her something she really wants, the answer to that would be a dog. Our neigbours used to have a black-brownish Golden Retriever she always walked and played with whenever she could. We also caught her telling that dog the problems she was having when she was going through something rough. We could never afford one because we had no time nor money, but if you want to give her her biggest wish, it would be a dog."

Huh. Ina always wanted a dog herself, and she knew her and Bella were ready for it. They were living together and were together for almost 2 and a half years now. And sure there was enough money, time and space in their appartment.

"Thank you, ms. Fiennes. I think I'll know what to do now. One question, do know any names she would like for a dog?"

"She always told us that if she would ever get a dog herself, she would name it Dexter if it was a boy, and Ella if it were to be a girl"

Dexter... that name had a nice ring to it

"Thank you for telling me."

"It's okay, sweetheart. Good luck! And if you'll ever get her a dog, make sure the dog will meet their Grandma and Pabby."

"I will make sure they will meet you very, very soon"

With that she hung up, opened her laptop, and started to look for the perfect dog.

*3 months ago*

Ina just arrived to the shelter to pick out their perfect dog. She told Bella she had to go to a night conference and that she had to go alone. Bella was a little suspicious, but believed her in the end. When Ina stepped foot in the shelter, her heart exploded with cuteness. 6 black little furballs stormed at her, making happy noices and licked her all over her face. Ina took her time, talking with the owner and observating the puppies. One caught her eye, the furriest of them all, cute, clumsy, and kept climbing into Ina's lap. It was decided. This little one was going home with her soon. Ina made the arrangements with the owner, signed all the papers and planned when she would pick this little rascal up.

*24 hours ago*

Ina came back to the shelter after buying a pillow, food and water holders, and a lot of toys for their soon to be best friend. She had bought a few balls, a lot of stuffed animals and a squeeky pear, which she knew Bella would absolutely love. She also bought a collar for him. A red collar, with the name 'Dexter' on it in golden letters.

When she stepped in, the puppies were a little bit bigger, but still furry and still very, very clumsy. But, Ina recognised her little friend the moment she stepped foot into the shelter, because that one came to her the fastest, and seemed to be the most happiest, almost like he knew he would come home with her. She talked for a bit with the owner, writing down everything she needed to know for the little puppy's first few months. And when it was time to go, the little furball said one last goodbye to his parents before being picked up by Ina. "Come on, little friend. Let's go home." Ina smiled softly and applied the collar to him. "...Dexter"

*present*

It was 4.55 and Ina did one last check if everything was on the right place. The squeeky pear on the table, the note next to it, and Dexter hiding with Ina in their bedroom. Ina's heart froze as she heard the front door open. "This is it, Dexter. This is it!!" Ina whispered excitedly to Dexter, and giving him a little kiss on his forehead.

"Babe, I'm home! Where are you, baby?" Bella asked. She walked towards the table and saw the squeeky pear lying on it. Next to it was a note. 'Squeeze me :D' was written on the note. So she did, she squeezed the pear, and when she did, Ina opened the door to their bedroom and Dexter started to run towards the squeeking sound.

When Bella heard the sound of little tippetytaps behind her, she turned around. And there he was, the black, fluffy, little furball, running excitedly towards Bella. Bella gasped, and fell to her knees, as the little pup was jumping up and down in excitement.

"Why hello there! How did you get in here buddy?" She said with the biggest smile on her face. Ina was watching her secretly through the door opening, being so insanely happy to capture this moment where Bella and her own dog meet each other for the first time. Dexter couldn't be more happy, jumping and barking (those tiny little barks were enough to make Ina's heart melt). Ina didn't even realise she had happy tears in her eyes until she felt them fall down her cheeks.

Bella kept petting the dog, and then she noticed the collar. "Why what a beautiful collar you have!" She saw the name on top of it. "Dex...ter?" Realisation hit her as Ina walked into the living room and sat next to her on the ground. "Ina, is this what I think it..." Bella was truly speechles. Ina smiled and kissed her cheek. "Happy birthday, sweetheart." On that moment, Dexter started to lick Bella's cheek, as if giving her a kiss too. Now happy tears started to shine in Bella's eyes too. "But I never told you... I mean how did you.... how did you know?" Ina smiled, patting Dexters head and putting an arm around Bella's waist. "I called your parents. I asked what would be the perfect gift, and one thing led to another, and here's Dexter." "Thank you. So, so much. I've always wanted a dog." "Me too, and now, we have many, many years to enjoy little Dexter here." Bella smiled and kissed Ina in the most grateful way ever.

*the following evening*

After a lot of cuddling, putting Dexters stuff in the living room and letting Dexter get to know his new home, it was time for bed. "Now, Dexter" Ina started "this is where you're going to sleep! You'll have a lot of nice dreams here" Bella smiled to herself as she saw Ina interacting with Dexter. It was the purest thing ever. "Sweet dreams, Dexter, tomorrow is going to be a very fun day" they left the livingroom door and bedroom door ajar, so that they could hear if everything was going well with Dexter.

*One hour later*

Ina and Bella were both asleep, until Bella felt something down her side. "Mmmhhh.... that tickles, Ina" "I'm not doing anything, sweetheart" Ina said, and Bella put their light on and pulled her blanket up, to reveal a very furry, smiling little Dexter. Apperantly it had been storming, and Dexter got a little scared. "Well hello there, mister. Where you scared of the thunder? Do you want your mommies to protect you?" Dexter gave Bella his best puppy dog eyes, as if asking if he could stay. "Well," Ina started "it's your first night, let's keep him here, just this once. But this will not be a habbit, understood, little man?" Little did Ina know it was going to happen a lot more times.

*three weeks later*

Ina, Bella and Dexter just came home from their evening walk. "Okay Dex!" Bella started "let's see if we can teach you some tricks." Ina took her glasses off, and took a treat in her hand. "Okay now... sit!" Dexter looked confused at Ina, so she tried again. "Dexter, sit." But Dexter was in a playful mood, and took Ina's glasses off the couch and started to run away. "DEXTER NO! COME HERE" But Dexter was already on the other side of the room. Ina's serious mode got on. "Dexter, this is not behaviour we want to see in this family. Now give me back my glasses." And just when Ina was about to grab the glasses from Dexters mouth, he ran away. Ina tried many more times to her her glasses back, but Dexter ran away from her ever single time. "Ina, he's a pup! You shouldn't treat him like he's a student! Or as any person!" Bella said through her laughs. "Well, you try it then! Winner gets to top tonight" "Hah. You, little miss, have got yourself a deal." "I am a smart, dare I say intelligent woman with a pHd, I can explain human behaviour and I've been nominated for awards for my research, I'm sure I can get a dog to drop a pair of glasses." "Shush! It's my turn now" she walks towards Dexter. "Oh Dexter come see what I've got! I've got the squeeky pear! Much better then some glasses, right? Come get the pear, boy, come get it!" She threw the pear, and whit that, Dexter dropped the glasses and runned towards the pear. Ina's eyes were wide and her mouth open. "Here let me close that for you" and with that, Bella closed Ina's mouth. "Looks like you have to prepare yourself for tonight. I'm top tonight."

So Ina did.

And Bella fucked her silly that night.

Ofcourse with the bedroom door closed, because they knew Dexter wasn't, and will not ever be ready to see that kind of things. Little do they know Dexter will be able to open doorknobs later.

*4 weeks later*

Bella was alone at home, crying. Ina had left home for work while they were having an argument.

"Sometimes I feel like work is more important to you then me."

"Bella, stop being sad over every little thing. I don't have time for this." She snapped back. And with that, left for work.

Dexter woke up from his little nap, and heard Bella crying. He went over to her and tried to cheer her up. He sat next to her on the couch and started to lick her tears away. Bella started to laugh a little. "You're a good boy, Dex. Sometimes Ina is a little stupid, but we love her anyways, right?" And with that, Dexter lied down, putting his head in her lap.

Later that night, Ina came home. She had a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates with her. "Sweetheart, I'm very sorry I-" she cut herself off, because she saw Bella sleeping on the couch with Dexter in her arms. Ina couldn't help but smile a little. She put a blanket over the two of them and started preparing dinner. 'I guess a dog does make you feel happier, even when you're sad' Ina thought, as she was cutting up vegetables.

*one month later*

Ina and Bella were snuggled up on the couch together, with some snacks lying on the table, about to watch a movie together.

When the movie started playing, Dexter walked to them, sitting right before them, and introducing something he has never done before. 'The Infinite Stare'. When Dexter does this, he will stare at you without looking at something else, until you give him what he wants. "What does he want?" Ina whispered. "I have no idea" Bella whispered back, as she grabbed a piece of cheese off the table. She noticed Dexter's eyes following her hand, or more specificaly, the piece of cheese. "Oooh is that it?" Bella said excitedly. "You want the cheese? Can you catch it? 3... 2... 1..." and with that she threw it. And cute as Dexter might be, he is also very clumsy, so he tried to jump, but fell down to the ground. "Oh no, are you okay, Dex?" But Dexter simply ate the cheese, turned back to the couple and asked in his own way for another one. "This is going to be a long night." Ina mumbled. Bella chuckled and gave her a kiss on the lips. "Don't pout, babe, it's all part of the progress." She said, as she gave Dexter another piece of cheese.

When the movie ended, Bella had fallen asleep on top of Ina. Ina turned down the tv, made sure Bella was lying okay, and picked her up, bridal style, and carried her to their bedroom. Of course Dexter supervised, making sure Ina wouldn't drop Bella. After they settled in bed together, Ina could see Dexter's little puppy eyes over their bed, begging to come up there with them. Ina tried to be firm, but who could say no to those puppy eyes? "Alright Dex, come on." She patted on the bed. Dexter jumped, but fell off first time. Ina facepalmed herself, but couldn't help laughing. Then, Dexter jumped again, and was lying between her and Bella.

Dexter nuzzled his head in Ina's neck, so Ina had both Bella and Dexter in her arms. As she caressed Bella's stomach, and fluffed Dexter behind his ears, she couldn't help but feeling happy.

'Maybe this is what true happiness feels like' was the last thing she thought before she fell asleep as well.

The end

[zwiezraczek]

Your writing is literally the best! I love it so so much! And I also need a second part of Liar! Maybe they taking the info they need and send Y/N back to her father. They break in and the father realizes its Billy, and knowing the bond between Y/N and him from the past; takes her as hostage to get the ghosts to leave! Honestly I didn't even had the idea when I began writing the ask. I knew I wanted to use 16 and now I got the whole plot 😂 As usual take your time 🐼

Believer [Blurb]

Part 1: Liar - Part 2 - Part 3: Player

~~~

He could talk about this for hours, and you could listen to him for hours. To Billy, your not-so-dead bestfriend. The one you missed, his voice, his eyes, his soft touch. Your bestfriend. Your bestfriend telling you again how he fell on that day. You couldn’t recall for how long you were sitting there, together, talking.

“So basically,” he continued, as you were still sitting in a chair, handcuffed by the French woman who finally brought you the glass of water you asked for about thirty minutes ago, “I have the necklace between my teeth, right? And then, that bitch grabs the necklace and I fall for like… An hour?”

“Don’t push the fucking drama too far,” you remarked, and grabbed the glass of water to drink a sip of it.

“It felt like hours,” Billy protested, looking at you.

“He fell for about two minutes,” the forty year old man interrupted their discussion. They were sitting and talking like this for hours, and everything began to piss One off. He needed information, no someone who would chit-chat with the hostage. Not at all. But you promised to tell them what they needed to know. “So now, sweet lady, like some kind of cheese”, he quoted as Billy and you looked completely lost before he just continued, “you need to fulfill your duty, a word is a word.”

“What do you need to know,” you asked him, furor in the eye. He reminded you everything: the kidnapping, the drugs, the light hitting your eyes, the anger. Everything. And now, now you found some kind of peace, with only handcuffs around your hands, he began to ask questions. He began to claim his part of the deal, and you had to yield to it.

“Where your precious father keeps his darkest secrets,” he asked, with a little smirk on his face.

“Fuck you,” you replied, before Billy put a hand on your forearm, looking calmly at you. You could only sigh. “His computer, in his office on the third floor.”

“Good girl. It was nice dealing with you.”

“If I could, I would rip your fucking head off. You hear me, wanker,” you almost spat on the floor while saying this, anger filling your veins and mind. He called you a ‘good girl’, whatwere you? A fucking dog?

“Yes I do hear you,” the man replied before looking at Billy, “well, now Four take care of the lady, her father already knows that she was kidnapped and Three is telling him we want money.”

“You’re a sick fuck,” you muttered under your breath.

“It’s like hearing you speaking,” the man remarked as he addressed Billy, “unbelievable!”

“We were bestfriends,'” you protested.

“Past tense, exactly. Now you play in different teams. So now, excuse us, when we’ll try to get the info about the children traffic guy that your lovely fa…”

“The what,” you interrupted him, all serious now.

“So you don’t know? Your father supports some guys that are doing children traffic. Not a big deal for a bad guy stealing, right?”

“One, you’re going a little bit too far on this one,” Billy said, his hand holding your now as you began to tighten your grip. You had tears in your eyes. Your own father… You knew what he did, you knew what you had to do, and how many people you had killed but this… Disgusting.

“I needed to know,” you replied. “I fucking needed to know about my father doing this sick shit. You do need more information,” you asked, looking at the man called One. You couldn’t let your father do that, killing people was one thing, involving children into it was another.

“I like her,” the man said, pointing at you before turning back in order to leave the room. “I’ll be back if I need more info, y/n.”

~~~

The Ghosts couldn’t trust you. Two looked at you with a deathly glare as you showed her the passwords they would need to get into the security system. You could feel how tense she was, as she typed the letters on the keyboard, ready to put a knife under your throat and to kill you on the spot. A nice change, really. She wasn’t the one to be suspicious - but nobody dared to be as aggressive as she was towards you – the whole group was, and you could feel it through the glances they gave you as you walked through the room, still under someone’s surveillance. But especially not Billy’s. You were the enemy, friends with one of them, bestfriends with one of them and all of them knew that ties were the only thing that could make somebody betray their family, their friends, anyone. So you were dangerous. Even more dangerous than you were when you wanted to spit on their faces while they held you like an hostage, after drugging you and putting into a trunk.

But Billy was sweet with you during the whole stay – two days. He asked One if you could sleep in one of the trailers, but he refused. Total disagreement, no, no, no, no, stick the status quo. So you spent your night on the couch, under a blanket Billy brought you from his trailer. And in the morning, you had some tea by your side with a few brownies. He remembered. He really did. And you smiled, not thinking about this awful situation youwere in.

And finally, they dropped you at your house. Three and Billy did, during an exchange, wearing masks and you were blindfolded during the whole car ride. Billy’s hand was always in yours, as you felt tense, you had to go back home, knowing the horrible things your father was doing behind your back. You trusted him, you killed for him, you worked for him: he was your family. He had been your family. Now, you had no family. Just a friend. Your bestfriend. Three suddenly took you out from the car, grabbing you by your shoulder and making you stand up in the middle of nowhere. The same stupid underground smell. A fucking perfect place for this kind of exchange, you were curious to know whose idea it was. Probably your father’s. Somebody tossed a bag to somebody’s feet on your side, before you were pushed on the ground, falling on your knees. Bleeding probably, again. It was Billy who pushed you, you knew, you felt the hesitation in his moment, you felt his touch and the way he pushed you… You would bleed, but not too much.

Somebody began to take the blindfold off, the lights. Who the hell agreed to put such harsh light in an abandoned parking lot? And you saw his face: your father’s face. He came – he never did – for the exchange. He cared, he genuinely did. His hand on your cheek, before holding your whole face and kissing gently your forehead. How disgusted you felt.

~~~

You waited, for days, knowing that Billy would eventually break into your house. He was the only one able to do this, he was the only one knowing the place by heart. And you wanted to see him again. Ever since you came back, you couldn’t focus on anything anymore. You couldn’t feel the happiness of being feared anymore, of being the most powerful person in the room and even parties became dull. All because of him, of Billy. Because you knew he was alive, but you couldn’t see him. The two days you spent with him recalled you how much you loved him, as your soulmate, as your everything and how much it hurt you when he died. And how much it hurt now, when you knew he was alive but far from you.

And one night, as you looked through the security devices yourself, you saw something abnormal. Billy. You had to take your father as far from his office as possible, so you ran upstairs, looking for your father. And you found him, not so far from his office. And you began to small talk him, about the kidnapping, about your feelings, and how much it affected you to be treated this way by people, without even knowing their faces. You pulled out the sensible card, hoping it would give Billy as much time as he needed. But then, something fell in his office. And you couldn’t stop him from going inside. You desperately tried, but he opened the door.

And then, he saw Billy, right in front of his own computer, trying to plug the cable into the laptop he brought. He was caught off guard, and he couldn’t do anything, not even jumping out the window. He was too close to let it go. Immediately, your father grabbed you by the waist, drawing his gun towards your head. Your heart was about to explode as you felt the weapon against your temple. You breathed heavily, closing your eyes, not looking at Billy, hoping it would end soon.

“What a pleasure to see you again Billy! I knew you weren’t dead,” he said, and you could hear the warm tone of his voice quickly shifting to a colder one when Billy began to move. “Youmove, she dies.”

“You sick fuck… She’s your daughter,” he screamed, eyes burning with rage.

“A traitor so to speak, am I right, lovely y/n,” your father asked, moving the gun on the side of your face as you nodded, calmly. This threw you off your balance, you couldn’t move anymore. Your father was about to kill you, coldheartedly. “A mole in my own fucking house, my own daughter…!”

“I hate children abuse,” you managed to whisper, feeling a tear running down your cheek. All your boldness was gone, facing death, a death probably given by your father, was scarier than you imagined.

“I try my best to protect these children, y/n, I really do…”

“Probably not enough,” escaped from your lips. The trigger was about to be pulled, you knew it.

“Seven, don’t you shoot,” Billy whispered as your father looked at him.

“And he’s not alone, great,” your father stated. “Close the curtains, and unplug your cables from my computer, you bastard.” And so did Billy, slowly moving as men began to gather behind you and your father. The mission failed. Everything failed. You bit your lips. How could you fail…?

“Don’t you do that,” Seven’s voice blasted in Four’s ear as he began to close the only curtain that was open. “You’ll die!”

“I already died once without saying goodbye, not doing it twice,” he whispered into the device, quickly closing the curtain before Seven could shoot. He unplugged his laptop and stood behind the desk. “What now?”

“You’ll watch her suffer,” your father said, punching you in the stomach as you curled up in pain on the floor. You began to cough, uncontrollably. It.. Did hurt. “Until you tell me everything about your little group, deal? Billy?”

“Deal,” Billy replied, unplugging his microphone now as he heard Seven telling him to not do so. “What do you want to know?”

[itubainaretro]

In a parallel universe Sander and Robbe are neighbours and Sander has a cat called Ziggy PART 2 (PART 1) 

It’s been a year since Ziggy made her way into Robbe’s apartment and both her and Sander made their way into his life.

A lot has changed since then, like Sander and Robbe going from neighbours to friends to maybe each other’s crushes to definitely each other’s crushes to proper boyfriends, or the fact that they are now living together at Robbe’s apartment since Ziggy and Sander spent most of their time there anyways, or them having a really nice old lady as their new neighbour, who loves them to death and treats them like her own sons, inviting them for dinner at least once a week, who they made sure to warn about Ziggy’s ways of entering people’s homes without being invited as soon as she moved in, or the fact that now Sander really believes Ziggy likes them both equally, spending as much time as she can with both of them.

Some things still stayed the same, though, like Ziggy’s favourite place in the world being Robbe’s couch, now their couch, Ziggy following whoever is going to the kitchen to get a treat, Sander still hating that stupid uncomfortable chair he had sat in so many times when all he wanted to do was cuddle with Robbe on his couch many many months ago, their date nights consisting of ordering pizza and watching whichever tv show they were into at the time, Ziggy sleepily laying between them on the couch and them loving to spend as much time with each other as they could manage, between classes and work.

-

If he was being honest with himself Robbe never thought about having pets, much less a cat, he always thought he was a dog person, but that all changed when Ziggy entered his life, clearly. He never thought a cat could change his life so much, and not only in the sense that she brought Sander to Robbe, but Ziggy was a source of calmness, safety and love that Robbe desperately wanted to have in his life. She taught him something new every day, how to deal with stress, how to be patient, how to help Sander when he was having an episode or simply a bad day, how to help himself deal with a bad day, how to be more compassionate and how to love.

So yeah, Ziggy taught him how to be a better person in general and maybe it’s because of her and everything that she means to him that he’s currently making his way back to the street where he saw an abandoned box with a small white kitten on his way home from classes to rescue that little kitten that has no business being all alone in the cold weather at such a young age if he and Sander have a perfectly lovely and warm place for it to stay.

-

Sander notices Robbe is hiding something as soon as the later walks in and is frozen in place, eyes wide just like a deer in the headlights, when he notices Sander is already in their living room, sat on the floor, Ziggy lounging by his side, his hand on her fur, softly going from one side to the other, lulling her back to sleep.

“You’re home already?”, Robbe asks confused.

“Yeah, I texted you. My professor’s wife went into labour and she couldn’t make it to the academy today, so she dismissed us.”, Sander is smiling as bright as the sun as he says it.

“Oh, I must have missed it. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.” Sander winks at him. “But do tell me, what are you hiding in your jacket?”, he continues jokingly, not thinking much of it.

And Robbe was never good at hiding stuff from people, let alone from Sander, so he doesn’t see the point in lying. “Please don’t kill me, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her alone in the street. It’s fucking cold today.”, and while saying this he opens his jacket to reveal the small kitten all curled up on his left arm, that he left inside the jacket to hold the kitten close to his chest and keep it warm on the walk back home.

“Robbe.”, Sander is already on his feet, walking closer to them, with a small smile on his face.

“Please don’t kill me”, he says again.

Sander hugs them both close to his chest. “I’m not going to kill you, it’s okay, love. It just surprised me, it’s all.”, he gives Robbe’s temple a kiss.

-

They fuss around the little kitten for a while, checking if she Has any injuries, if she needs to be cleaned, if she’s hungry, and start thinking about a list of things they need to do: get her a vet appointment, buy her a little bed and buy kitten’s food (that Sander patiently explained to Robbe that needed to be different from Ziggy’s food as she was probably just some days old).

Robbe is currently holding her and he wonders if it’s normal to love something so small in such little time. He voices his thoughts out loud.

“We’ve had Stardust for an hour and a half, but if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. Is this normal?”

Sander chuckles and then smiles at Robbe. “Stardust?”, he wonders.

“Well, we already have Ziggy, and you were the one to name her, so I though I should be the one naming the newest addition to our little family, and Stardust seemed fitting, so…”

Sander cuts him off with a kiss. “I fucking love you”, he can’t help but say it when he sees the smile plastered on Robbe’s face, “and I love her name too.”

-

Ziggy wakes up half an hour later and makes her way to the couch to see what Sander and Robbe seem to be so happy about and as Robbe sees Ziggy approaching the couch, he passes Stardust to Sander’s free arms, and picks her up to smother her with kisses. She doesn’t seem to like the smell of another cat on him, so she makes a disgusted face and jumps down from his lap.

Seeing Robbe’s worried and sad face, Sander tells him that it’s okay, Ziggy will come around and it’s normal for things like that to happen in the beginning.

-

Some hours later Ziggy jumps on Sander’s lap demanding attention, not caring that he smells of someone else, she’s just tired of being all alone and needs some love right now, so Sander promptly starts running his fingers through her fur and thinks about taking her to the kitchen to get her a treat, but Robbe’s laugh brings him out of his thoughts and he looks at him with a confused face.

“What?”

Robbe has a small sad smile on his face when he says, “Ziggy looks so sad to have a baby sister, look at her, oh my god”.

And indeed she looks sad, ears down, big eyes all sad, looking longingly at Robbe, who’s holding Stardust against his chest. Sander looks at her and shakes his head, smiling softly, “She’s always had a dramatic streak, she’ll be fine, though. She just needs to get used to it.”

They snap a pic of her looking like that anyways.

-

And it seems like they underestimated how big Ziggy’s heart actually was and how fast she would be willing to get over herself and welcome the new kitten to the family, as not even twenty minutes after them snapping a pic of her all sad looking she was carefully making her way to Robbe’s lap to get a closer look at her new sister.

Robbe looks surprised at her but opens his arms and welcomes her in. Ziggy arranges herself around Stardust and Robbe swears his heart is about to explode when he sees them wrapped around each other like that. He wraps his arms around them and asks himself if this is what heaven feels like. 

Sander laughs when Robbe voices that thought out loud and snaps a pic of the three most important things in his life too.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is for @feathers-n-silk​ because she’s lovely and talked about them getting another kitten and naming it stardust, so part 2 is all her idea, thank her. and also for @lightinthed4rk​ because she’s a sweetheart and never tells me to shut up when i come up with ideas at ridiculous hours. i love you both.

(sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language and no one proof read this)

[pug-bitch]

Smiles every day (One-shot)

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez and...another pairing but you’ve guessed by now :D

Rating: PG, but as always my foul mouth couldn’t help itself and let some bad words slip through the cracks :p.

Word count: about 2,500

Notes: This is set after the events of my previous one-shot, The Parent Trap! So, roughly 2+ years after the events of Book Two. I can’t help myself, I thought I would just not spoil anything in terms of Book Two, but I’m sure you guys are already seeing pretty clearly in everything I’m doing by now, so… let’s just enjoy this :D I hope you like!

*****

‘Knock knock!’

Maxwell peeks his head through the door before Amara can respond, and he’s immediately greeted by an overly excited Yoda.

‘Hey love,’ Amara says with a smile, ‘come in, don’t mind the mess.’

Maxwell looks around, thinking that the place is immaculate compared to his on a good day. Especially now. ‘Don’t get up!’ He warns, lowering himself to hug Amara where she’s sitting.

Ever since she and Drake told them about the pregnancy, after their return from Philly, Max has been completely overprotective of Amara, treating her as though she may break. Nothing bad can happen to his Little Blossom.

‘Can I make you some coffee? I was just doing some work, but it’s time for a break anyway.’

‘No!’ Max protests, ‘I can do it.’

Amara rolls her eyes. ‘You and Drake are exactly the same. I’m three months along, I’m not ready to pop yet. I can still make a coffee.’ She closes her laptop and gestures for Max to follow her to the kitchen. ‘That’s why I sent Drake to work. He hasn’t been at the restaurant since we got back, and he really needed to get out of my face.’ She chuckles.

Maxwell smiles warmly at her, all the while absentmindedly petting Yoda. ‘Sorry, Little Blossom. I completely understand his point of view, though, we both know how you can overdo it, so—‘

Amara holds up her hand to shut him up. ‘Alright, that’s enough pregnancy talk. Tell me about you, instead. How’s the big move-in treating you?’

Maxwell can’t contain his smile. ‘Oh, just awesome. I’m realizing how ready I was for this. We’re starting to really get our bearings, after all, it’s been a month now, and Callie seems to be really in love with the house, and the proximity to the Beaumont estate and the animals… We’re just having a blast.’ He pauses. ‘Amara, there’s something I need to tell you. Show you. I guess.’

Amara turns to him and hands him an espresso cup. ‘Yeah?’ She asks worriedly.

Max wrings his hands together nervously. ‘Wow,’ he whispers, ‘this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I, um… you know how much I love your brother. More than anything. And, you know, I may be a little… out of control sometimes, and I may not be the most mature.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘I guess you could say I’m a bit impulsive. Like when I bought Bradley Cooper, for instance, I mean, great decision, he’s the best goat I’ve ever met, but at the same time, I did buy him on a whim at the farmers’ market one morning.’

Amara squints at him as she steeps her tea. ‘Babe, get back on track.’

Maxwell chuckles, tapping his pocket to check it’s still there. Oh boy, he thinks, if he’s already nervous now, how is it gonna be tonight? ‘Yes,’ he continues, ‘you’re right. So, as I was saying, I’m usually pretty impulsive. But this isn’t impulsive. It’s thought through, it’s been on my mind for the past few months, and, if I’m being honest… for the past two years, really.’ He takes a deep breath and puts the box on the table.

Amara’s eyes are like saucers. ‘Is this…?’ She stammers.

He nods, and pushes the box towards her. She takes it tentatively.

As she opens it, her eyes fill with happy tears. ‘Maxxie… this is so lovely.’

He breathes a bit more easily. ‘Yeah?’ He asks. ‘You think he’ll like it?’

Amara nods furiously. ‘Oh yeah. He definitely will.’ She hands him the box back.

Maxwell can barely keep himself together as he takes another look at the ring he picked for Michael. A simple gold band, classy like the man he loves. He closes the box and pulls another from his other pocket. ‘Now there is something else that I’d like you to see. It’s a little… out there. Don’t hold back on feedback.’

Amara wipes a tiny tear and holds out her hand to take the little box. It’s small, light purple, made of velvet. When she opens it, she gasps. ‘Oh Max, it’s so lovely. Fuck, this is so thoughtful.’ She takes the little pendant in her hand to get a closer look.

Max nods. ‘Phew. I didn’t want to leave her out of this decision, so I had this engraved for her. Is it too much?’

Amara admires the delicate gold pendant, on a intricate little chain. The pendant is a lovely oval, with an engraved peacock, and the words ‘We are family’ etched on it. On the peacock’s head, three teeny-tiny aquamarine stones.

‘Fucking hormones,’ Amara mutters as she wipes away more tears that keep coming. ‘Callie will love it.’

*****

Amara closes the door behind Maxwell and takes Yoda in her arms. ‘Are you excited too, baby?’ She whispers, kissing the little corgi’s head. She plops down on the couch to snuggle with the dog, who’s all too happy to get so much attention.

As she’s halfway done with her episode of Schitt’s Creek, the front door opens. ‘Hey babe,’ Drake says with a smile.

Amara sits up. ‘Hey hun, you’re back so soon!’

Drake throws his jacket on a chair and joins her on the couch. He ruffle’s Yoda’s hair and gestures for Amara to lay down in his arms. ‘I missed you.’

Amara smiles as she nuzzles into Drake’s neck. He might be annoying and overly worried, but he’s her pain in the ass. ‘I missed you too,’ she whispers as she kisses him deeply. ‘How was the restaurant?’

Drake smiles. ‘Pretty good. They barely need me over there. Rashad’s got the situation under control as always, and the kitchen team is awesome. They said they’d handle things whenever I can’t be there.’ He kisses her hair softly. ‘I’m lucky to have them.’

Amara smiles. She’s happy to see him so happy at work. It wasn’t a given when he opened his restaurant a year ago, but everything worked out for the better, and now he can fully enjoy the perks of doing what he loves. Plus, Rashad’s investment money was nothing to scoff at.

‘What about you, babe?’ Drake asks. ‘What have you been up to?’

In her comfortable state, she almost opens her mouth to tell her about her own morning and about Max’s news, but she refrains. After all, he asked her to keep it to herself until Michael has given a response. Not that he would ever say no, but she has to respect Max’s wishes.

She clears her throat. ‘Oh, you know. Yoda and I just hung out. Watched Schitt’s Creek. I did some studying for the Cordonian detective exam. The usual.’

Drake frowns and nods. ‘Hm. Good.’

Shit, she thinks. He knows she’s lying. Quick, she needs to change the subject. ‘Oh, and look, I did some research for the nursery, and I think we should go with this.’ She opens a new window on her laptop and shows Drake some furniture options.

Drake smiles and puts his hand on her already growing bump. ‘Fuck,’ he says, ‘this is so exciting, I can’t wait to meet our little Peanut.’

*****

Drake is slicing some peppers to dip in his homemade hummus while Amara is making some mocktails. Out of solidarity, he’s not drinking during her pregnancy either, so they have gotten quite creative with Amara’s cocktail book. Tonight, they’re having virgin piña coladas.

He hears a car pull up into the driveway, and looks through the window to see Michael’s Honda. ‘Hey babe,’ he says to Amara, ‘your brother’s here with Max and Callie.’

Amara stops the blender and gasps. ‘Yeah?’ She asks excitedly.

Drake raises an eyebrow. They saw them yesterday, why is she so excited all of a sudden? ‘Y-yeah. We might wanna make a little more drinks.’

Amara can’t contain an infectious smile. ‘Mmhm,’ she nods, biting her lip.

‘Alright, weirdo, I’m gonna go open the door,’ Drake chuckles.

Callie is the first one to come in, and she throws herself in Drake’s arms. ‘Uncle Drake!!’ She exclaims. ‘It smells good in here, what did you make?’

Drake hugs her back and laughs. ‘I’m making hummus, and some veal stew.’

‘Yay!’ She yells, throwing her hands in the air.

Michael and Maxwell aren’t far behind, and they both hug Drake as they come in. Callie facetiously mimes zipping up her mouth, and plops down on the floor next to Yoda.

Maxwell clears his throat and says, ‘Hey guys, um, sorry to come by unannounced—‘ he winks to Amara, who looks like she’s about to explode out of excitement— ‘but… we have something to tell you.’

He looks to Michael, who continues, beaming with joy. ‘So, today, Maxwell proposed to me, and…’ he shows off his left hand. ‘Obviously I said yes. We’re getting married!’

Drake’s jaw drops. ‘Guys!’ He exclaims. ‘Congratulations!’

Amara jumps up and down. ‘I’m so happy for you!!!’ She wraps them both in a warm hug. ‘Congrats!’

Drake joins in, as he struggles to keep his shit together. ‘Guys, this is such great news.’ Oh no, he thinks. It’s coming. ‘I, um…’

‘Babe, are you okay?’ Amara asks with a look of concern on her face.

Drake nods, fighting back tears. ‘Yeah, I’m just… shit.’

Callie shoots him daggers. ‘That’s a dollar in the jar, Uncle Drake!’

Drake can’t stop the tears from falling. ‘Sorry kid. Sorry guys. This is just so great, I don’t know what the… what is wrong with me, it’s just…’

‘Awwwww, Drakey,’ Maxwell squeals, ‘you’re too cute when you’re emotional!’

Drake takes a deep breath. ‘Shit—sorry, I know, another dollar for the jar—guys, I don’t know what’s going on with me, it’s just…’ he pauses and sighs. ‘You’ve been through so much together, and Max, seeing you with Callie has been so inspiring.’

Michael wipes off a tear. ‘Drake, come over here. You need a hug.’

They all laugh as Drake complies.

Callie taps her aunt’s leg. ‘Hey Auntie Amara, can I sleep over?’

Amara giggles, ‘Of course sweetie, tonight?’

Callie nods. ‘Daddy and Max are going to a restaurant to celebrate.’

Michael breaks away from the hug and grimaces, ‘Oh yeah, right, that’s partly why we came here… is it ok for Callie to stay here tonight? Max got us a reservation for three, but Callie doesn’t want to go…’

Callie nods. ‘It’s very boring. I’d rather be here and eat some veal with you.’

Drake chuckles. ‘Sure. The more the merrier.’

Maxwell jumps up and down. ‘Thank you guys! We tried my brother, but um… there was an incident.’

Callie sighs in an exasperated way. ‘Auntie Amara,’ she says gravely. ‘Bartie threw up on my shoe.’ She pauses dramatically. ‘On my shoe.’

Amara gasps. ‘Oh wow, well we can’t have that! I promise you no one will throw up on you here.’ She turns to Michael and whispers, ‘Thank God my morning sickness is over.’

Michael laughs. ‘Good thing! Guys, we really appreciate it, and sorry for the late notice.’

Amara shrugs. ‘No problem. I had a hunch this would happen. Come on, Callie, let’s get you situated in the guest room, and then we’ll have a mocktail, ok?’

Callie claps in excitement. ‘Yay, a cocktail!’

Drake looks at his wife disappear into the guest room with their little niece, and turns to the guys. ‘Sorry again for the… whatever the fuck that was. I’m so happy for you guys.’

Michael claps Drake’s back. ‘No worries, Drake. It’s nice to see you so in touch with your emotions. Welcome to being a dad…’

Drake chuckles. ‘Yeah, I can’t even blame the hormones, but here we fuckin’ are. About tonight, do you guys want me to call my buddy at the Portavira Inn? See if he’s got a suite available? Since we’ve got Callie…’

Michael looks at Maxwell, and they both nod enthusiastically. ‘Thank you, Drake,’ Maxwell says, pulling him into another hug. ‘That’s so sweet! We’d love that.’

Drake grabs his phone. ‘Alright, let me give him a call, then. Take a seat, you guys can have a little hummus with us before leaving, right?’

*****

Once Max and Michael have left, Amara, Drake, and Callie sat down for dinner, punctuated with endless chatter from Callie, and little excited yaps from Yoda. Amara looks on to her little niece with love. She could get used to this.

As Amara gets up to clear the table, Drake stops her in her tracks. ‘Nope, Suarez, you’re going on the couch with your niece to rest. I got it.’

Amara almost protests, and then remembers that she’s about to insist on doing dishes, which is essentially insane. She nods and kisses her husband on the lips. ‘Thanks, babe. Come on, Callie, let’s go color!’

‘YAY!’ Callie exclaims, as if she couldn’t ever run out of energy. ‘Auntie Amara, can you paint my toenails while I color?’

Drake peeks his head from the kitchen. ‘Um, I don’t know if nail polish is safe for a pregnant woman, hun.’

Amara takes a deep breath. ‘Drake Walker. If you take nail polish away from me, I got nothing left. Please chill out.’

He holds his hands up in defeat. ‘Alright. Sorry. Overprotective mode deactivated.’

Callie giggles. ‘Yeah, chill out, Uncle Drake. Auntie’s not gonna eat the nail polish. She’s not stupid.’

Callie picks a gold nail polish, which Amara gleefully applies on her niece’s toes. Callie sticks out her tongue as she applies herself to coloring a drawing of a cow in a field. Amara looks up at her little niece, all smiles. ‘So babe,’ she asks. ‘Did you like your necklace?’

Callie nods enthusiastically. ‘Oh yeah. It’s so beautiful.’ She fishes it out of her top and shows it off to her aunt. ‘I love the little peacock. It’s so cute.’

Amara oohs and aahs as if she’d never seen it before. ‘It’s gorgeous, sweetie. Were you surprised, today?’

Callie shakes her head. ‘No. Maxxie asked me last week if it was okay. He said it’s my decision. I said of course, because I love having as many daddies as possible.’

Amara’s heart skips a beat. ‘Yeah?’ She asks, her voice breaking.

Callie nods. ‘Yeah. It’s scary having just one daddy. Papi’s in my heart, but he’s not here everyday to cheer up Daddy or play with me, you know.’

Shit, Amara thinks. It’s gonna take a lot of focusing on the nail painting in order not to cry to this one. ‘I know, sweetie,’ she manages to say. ‘But remember what your necklace says, right? We are family. All of us.’

Callie beams. ‘Yeah. I know. I like that.’ She pauses. ‘Besides, living with Maxxie and Daddy is so much fun that I want it to continue forever. That’s why I said it’s okay with me. Daddy was really sad before he met Maxxie. Now he smiles every day.’

Amara gasps for air. Nope, she can’t cry now. Poker face, Suarez. ‘That’s right,’ she says softly, ‘and Daddy also makes Maxxie really happy.’

Callie smiles. ‘That’s true! Maxxie is always smiling.’ She looks up at her aunt. ‘You used to never smile. Like, never never. And then you came here to Cordonia and you smile all the time. It’s nice.’

‘You’re right,’ Amara chuckles. ‘It is nice.’

Callie points at Amara’s belly. ‘And I think he’s gonna smile a lot too. Because I’m gonna be the best big cousin ever.’ She pauses. ‘Unless he throws up on my shoe.’

Amara laughs wholeheartedly. ‘Yeah? We’ll do our best to avoid it, then.’

Callie giggles. ‘I’m excited to see him, I think he’s gonna be cute.’

‘You got that right,’ Amara chuckles. ‘So, you think it’s gonna be a boy, huh?’

Callie makes a face and snorts. ‘Oh yeah. But you should now that I’m still gonna paint his nails.’

*****

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