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#i seriously hate ton at this point
heretherebedork · 16 days
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Is that a blessing I see coming? Am I getting a teeny tiny crumb?!
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Teeny tiny crumbs!
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I love him so much, shut up, he's so cute I don't even care. I just want a confession, okay? Just a confession.
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The two people being pursued by the quietest, shyest flirt in the school and the most boisterous and insincere bully in the school. Sigh.
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Honestly, the show has kind of made me hate him after that scene with Aylin and how, apparently, none of that matters. So I hope he slips on a banana peel into something humiliating and never gets another girl.
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Her face is my face every time he is on screen.
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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"
#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl#and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him#so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not#an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol#even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough#and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is#lackadaisy#oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but#points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously#and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that#wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash#also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh#numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't
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sarasade · 6 months
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One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".
Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.
That's the TL;DR version of this post. 
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ANYWAY here is the long version
Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".
One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.
Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.
It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.
This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.
People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.
I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.
Anyway if you want to read more:
- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info
-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos
-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.
-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa
- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.
-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge
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flamingbluepanda · 1 year
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How to Camp for Beginners
Hello! Tis I, your local boy scout/girl scout/avid gay camper, here to give some top notch Advice™️ about camping! The season is nearly upon us and the woods are a callin' so let's get out there and be safe kiddos!
Before you Go!
Make sure you find a campsite you like and that fits your comfort level! There's ZERO shame in picking a place with cabins, public restrooms, showers, heated pools, hot tubs- whatever your looking for!
Once you pick your campsite, make sure you know the area around it- especially if camping somewhere your unfamiliar with! Example questions to make sure you know: Where's the local hospital? Where's the closest grocery store? Gas station? Are there rangers at your campsite and how do you get in contact with them? Does your campsite provide anything at all as a courtesy?
Also make sure you know the wilderness around you and prep accordingly -- if your camping in a site with bears during their non hibernating months, make sure you bring bear safe trash recepitecals if your campsite doesny provide them
Bring people with you. People you know and trust. Seriously, the buddy system saves lives. Do NOT camp alone unless you are an EXPERT and know the area EXCRUCIATINGLY well. This is also not the place to go with your new romantic partner/friend/friend or partners family -- some people are very good at pretending to be safe and getting you alone in the woods is when they stop pretending.
Pack layers. Make sure you bring at least one set of sweatpants and hoodie, bonus points if their insulated. It gets very cold at night in most wilderness locations, even in the summer.!
Bring at least one set of waterproof clothes, including rain boots and a waterproof coat.
Pack however many sets of underwear and socks you think you need to bring, then pack more. Bring an overwhelming number of socks
Bring good sneakers that are broken in but not worn out
Flashlight with extra batteries and a portable battery cube, fully charged
Make sure you have sunscreen and bugspray, your skin will thank yoi
While packing food, make sure you bring things that will last the trip in an insulated bag or cooler. Don't buy your ice until your close to your camp. Some campsites will even offer bags of ice at the ranger station!
Bring PLENTY of water. My brother always packs ten nalgenes full of water, others bring a big pack of water bottles. Stay hydrated!
If you're bringing a furry friend, make sure they are fully up to date on their rabies and Lyme shots
Pack In!
Make sure you have a full tank of gas when you arrive at your campsite
I personally like to leave my phone in my car while I camp. Bring books/art supplies/journals or whatever you do for fun -- if that's your phone and you have service, great!
Having said that, if you ARE having a technology free camping trip, pick one person in your group with the best phone and declare them the emergency phone person
Best doesn't mean newest -- your friend who hates capitalism and has a Nokia that can survive nuclear fallout should be picked over your friend with the brand new super fragile iphone
Make sure the emergency phone remains fully charged and comes with you when you leave the campsite. Most emergency calls will work without cell service, but a dead phone can't make calls
Make sure you get the rangers number! Rangers are your friends, they want you to have a safe trip and are there for all your questions!
Also make sure to respect the rules of whatever campsite you're at -- if you're on boy scout property for example, you absolutely CANNOT bring alcohol. If you're having a fun adult camping trip, make sure you know the weed laws in that state before your puff and pass.
While setting up your campsite, try to find somewhere dry, that's not located near the bottom of a hill or next to a river.
Try to find places that don't have a ton of loose rocks or dirt, but where the ground is soft enough to nail in stakes for tents/canopies
Most campsites will have an assigned area with a fire pit, but if yours doesn't, make sure you collect enough rocks to build a fire circle before roasting any s'mores!
If your campsite doesn't let you bring cars past a certain point, make sure you know the fastest and safest route to the parking lot
I cannot stress how important it is to make sure you know the emergency numbers -- if theres a medical emergency, you may not be able to get someone to the car. Rangers will have ATVs and paramedics will have the skills to get people out of situations
Make sure your first aid kit is well packed with plenty of bandaids antiseptic and gauze- triangle bandages are also a versitle tool that can help with sprains splints and holding bandages in place. Preferably bring someone who knows at least basic first aid or CPR -- if you can't find a friend with that knowledge, make sure to be extra nice to the rangers
Bring an extra large bottle of your preferred over the counter painkillers -- dehydration and too much time in the sun can cause headaches! Also nifty for twisted ankles or sore backs from sleeping on the ground.
If you forgot your tent stakes, that's okay, put a spare cooler/bag/something heavy in the center of your tent to weigh it down in case of high winds.
If you forgot your rain canopy, a ripped trashbag will work in a pinch, but be warned: it's gonna get hot as HELL in that tent
During your Trip
Sunscreen and bugspray every day- even cloudy days have high UV rays, melanoma kills
Whether cooking on portable grill or campfire make sure your meat is fully cooked.
Chopping your produce and meat and cooking them in two separate packets of tin foil makes delicious meals, plus it's easy to check how done it is
Speaking of fires, make sure you have fireproof gloves and tongs if cooking over a campfire
Zip tents if rain is predicted but believe me, tents are like fucking hot boxes, so try to get as much air movement as you can.
If your campsite doesn't have latrines/portapotties/bathrooms (and you didn't bring one) be a good friend and make sure your camp's designated potty site is down wind of your camp. Also, human droppings can attract animals, so make sure it's a good distance away
(seriously though consider bringing a porta potty they make ones for campers)
CHECK FOR TICKS!!!! CHECK FOR TICKS EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU CAN!!!
Ticks like warm, dark places, so make sure you check behind your knees, under your arms, the back of your neck, in your socks and your privates! Ladies- that includes under the boobies. Wearing long pants, high socks, or long sleeves can be a simple and efficient tick deterrent, especially in marshy areas or tall grass. Don't forget to check your pets if they came with you!
If you find a tick, get some tweezers, grasp as close to the skin as you can, and slowly but firmly pull down on the tick- remember, you want the head out. You can also use a credit card or any other dull edge to help push downward.
Wet feet cause blisters, so always wear socks and change them often. If you get a blister, DONT POP IT, cover it with a bandaid or surround it with moleskin
Hydrate hydrate hydrate hydrate, drunk water every fifteen minutes even if your not thirsty
Remember to respect the nature around you- don't go pulling leaves off trees or disturbing animal dens, stay away from pretty much any animal- yes, even deer, bucks can and will gore you If frightened enough, deer can tramble you and even the cutest little Birdy can carry rabies and other diseases.
Poison Ivy has three leaves, poison oak looks like a strangling vine, and poison sumac has berries. Make sure you know what grows in your camping area.
If you brought a pet, don't let them eat any plants!
Make sure to use the buddy system especially if someone starts feeling ill- a lot of really dangerous illnesses start out looking a lot like colds and flu
Make sure to have a bucket of water next to your campfire, and every night make sure to completely douse your fire before turning it. Splash water on instead of dumping and make sure every ember is out- remember, only you can prevent wildfires
If you brought a gas powered generator for your campsite, make sure it's as far away as possible from the fire pit. Also, they're quite loud, so maybe don't put it near your tent. Put it on the outskirts of the campsite and don't leave it running when you're not there
Pack out!
LEAVE NO TRACE!!! make sure you clean up ALL your litter, all of it, every single one. Check and triple check your entire camp site.
Make sure everyones tent poles and stakes end up with the correct tent- you'd be surprised how brand specific stuff like that is.
Especially don't leave any food items -- there's likely going to be another person filling that campsite soon, they don't need moldy food attracting critters!
If there's a sign out sheet, don't forget to sign out at the ranger station! If they had to evacuate the campsite for whatever reason, they'll need to know you're gone!
Do a final tick/other bug check- you don't need to be bringing bugs home with you! Also check that there are no critters are in your supplies -- this sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised where snakes and mice can end up.
Give your pets an extra good bath when you get home. You don't know what could've gotten stuck in their fur!
Tick/spider bites tend to look like bullseyes. If you develop bullseye shaped rashes after you get home, seek medical attention.
Most of all, have fun and be safe!!!
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violetarks · 4 months
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"they don't love me like you do!"
anime: jujutsu kaisen
character: gojo satoru
summary: despite the countless valentines day offers he receives, satoru will only ever accept one confession. but you're confessing... to his best friend?
warnings: g/n! reader, they/them pronouns used, high school! au
"please accept these chocolates, gojo!" says the girl in front of him. satoru casually pulls down his glasses enough to see the red, heart-shaped cardboard box.
"oh, uh... thank you." he awkwardly says. this girl was two year below him, judging by the colours of her indoor shoes. he didn't even know her name. "this is... a surprise."
"i've liked you ever since orientation day. i hope you like these." she says with a nervous grin. she's stiff as he takes them out of her hands, standing up straight to stare at the tall man. "thank you for always being so funny and helping everyone you can."
"ah, you're welcome." he says, tucking the chocolates and the letter taped to it under his arm. luckily, the lunch bell had rung and everyone should've been off to enjoy their break. "well, i'll... see you around."
"b—bye, gojo!" she calls, waving at him as he walks the other way. he gives a kind smile before he turns the corner, dropping it immediately.
on the way to class, multiple other students watched him as he carelessly skimmed through the letter before stuffing it in his book bag, ready to throw it (and the others) away once home. valentines day was this week and it was two days before it today. yet satoru had received tons of confession letters and date proposals, none of which he had the intention of accepting.
plopping down in his chair, he groans, hanging his head, "ugh! i hate being so loveable..."
suguru rolls his eyes, outting his book down. "here we go again." he grunts, shaking his head.
"seriously! why can't i be left alone around valentines day?" he questions out lout, pulling his lunch box from his bag.
shoko bites into her sandwich as she listens to him. as she swallows, she retorts, "maybe it's because you flirt with every living being on earth." satoru sends him a pointed look. "so how many letters today?"
"seven." satoru responds, knocking his bag.
"and?"
"none of them were from y/n." he sighs out, picking up his chopsticks.
"wait, y/n?" suguru pipes up, putting his juicebox down, "as in y/n from class d?"
the blue-eyed boy raises a brow, halting his movements. "uh, yeah? l/n y/n." he recalls to his friend, tilting his head, "what? i've been talking about 'em for the past three months—suguru, have you been listening to me at all?"
"oh!" the dark-haired boy chuckles, nodding his head, "i know y/n. we're in the same literature class."
satoru stares at him in disbelief. the other students surrounding them are in their own little world, but the three of them didn't even mind them hearing if they tried. shoko continues to eat her food while suguru shrugs at his friend.
"are you kidding me?" satoru gasps out, waving a hand in the air, "i've been trying to get with them for three months and you tell me this just now?"
"you should've been more specific, man." suguru retorts, waving it off, "anyway, you gonna' ask them to be your valentine?"
satoru sighs loudly, hanging his head back, "i don't know... we only share bio together, i bet there's a lot of people who have asked them to be their valentine. they probably won't even accept mine."
shoko purses her lips and stretches her arms. "i don't know about that." she claims, "you're a pretty guy and everyone knows you. i doubt they'd pass up the chance to revel in that popularity."
"... thanks, shoko."
soon enough, the bell rings and the day goes on.
the next day, satoru notices something in your hand during biology class.
"whatchu' got there, y/n?" he asks, peaking over your shoulder. he sat behind you, enough room to see the handwritten letter you were writing.
"satoru!" you jump a little, covering the page. he furrows his brow. "it's, uh... i'm just writng something."
"is it... for valentines day tomorrow?" he inquires, curious to who was the lucky person. but you were still hiding it from him!
"no, of course not." you were lying, he could tell by the way you look to the left. a pout falls on his lips. "it's notes. for another class."
"oh... okay." he responds, a bit disappointed. why would you lie to him? he sits back in his chair, writing down some paragraphs from the textbook mindlessly. he saw the way your elbow quickly shifted, you were writing faster. your head was down too, never looking up. you were so concentrated.
he's known you for a couple of months now. you bumped into him on the way to school, and you admitted to him that you were a bit lost since you didn't live around here. satoru, being the gentleman he is, offered to escort you. you thought he was some creep (he tried reaching to hold your hand and when you jerked away on instinct, he played it off as it being the wind).
but once realising you two shared some classes together, you grew fond of him. you knew of the countless students throwing themselves at him. both older and younger. he was the school heartthrob. it's a shame though, only your smile could make his heart race like he makes others do.
when you gave him your lucky pen when he told you he didn't study and he was freaking out, you had this kind smile that made him think 'i don't want anyone else to see this but me'.
and he noticed that you awkwardly took it back from him, looking away as he clasped your hands tightly in the filled hallway and thanked you. your reactions were just the cutest...
when the bell rings, you perk up, putting your 'notes' in a suspicious looking envelope and signing it off with something. you stand up and satoru is quick to walk by your side when a classmates holds his arm to talk.
"huh?" satoru grunts, furrowed brows.
"gojo, i... i wanted to give you this." they say, holding out a teddy-bear saying 'be my valentine!'. satoru frowned when he took it. "you don't have to answer today... just let me know tomorrow, please."
as they continue to talk, he sees you exit the classroom. the letter sits comfortably in your palm, and you look left, right, before walking off. satoru is electrified.
"okay, thanks!" he says, running out of the classroom while he clutches the bear in his hands.
weaving through the crowd, he looks for the top of your head. after more and more people pass him, staring at the teddy and whispering 'who gave that to him this time?', he spots you turning the corner, a nervous look on your face. he mutters out apologies as he bumps into people heading to their next class.
the hallway you're in now is empty. you stand in front of a classroom door, waiting. notably, suguru's math class.
satoru stands at the end of the corridor, behind the corner, as the classroom door opens to reveal his best friend, geto suguru.
"suguru!" you call, smile. your shoulders are straightened, you hold the letter in front of you. not scared to show him...
"oh, y/n, hey." he responds, grinning as well. the comfortability around you two was so strange to see. "what's up?"
satoru feels like he's buzzing out. he can't hear everything you're saying, but you look a bit excited yet anxious. he hears your sweet voice speak to his best friend with such kindness that he's jealous. sure, suguru was attactive and nice and he definitely didn't feed into the popularity like satoru did, but...
why did it have to be you who was interested in him?
"please, take this." you say, handing him the same letter you had before. except this time, satoru sees the 'g.s' on it. 'geto suguru'. and you take out a box of his favourite snacks to hand to him. "thank you for everything, again. you're the best."
suguru takes it with ease, seeing how you looked at him. his gaze softens as he takes the treat as well. "you're welcome, y/n. anything you need, i'll help with." he puts the letter in his own bag before slinging am arm around your shoulders. "now, what're your plans for after?"
he was blatantly asking you out now! right after satoru told him he had feelings for you! such betrayal!
you two walk to the other end of the hallway, in the direction of your literature class. satoru slumps against the wall, furrowed brows and lips pressed into a thin line. after a second, he pushes his glasses up and lets out a slow exhale. he could get over this...
"gojo! may i please have a moment of your time?"
"wait no! me first!"
"gojo, can i talk to you?"
"please accept these!"
or maybe he couldn't.
valentines day was today and you danced into school with such confidence. you had a bouquet of flowers in your arms, chocolates of the sweetest kinds, and a bag of new perfume that you knew your crush would like.
you were so excited.
satoru, who was walking a few people behind you, was not.
he saw the amount of passion you put into the holiday, and it made him sick to know it was for his best friend. the guys was in such a bad mood, he ignored suguru and shoko's calls this morning to meet up and walk to school together like usual.
satoru clicked his tongue, thinking about how dramatic the whole valentines day idea was. really, who needed it all anyway?
in homeroom, he can hear your class (which is next to his, across the hall) start whooping and cheering when you walk in. and he knows it's you by the chants of your last name being heard. he sits in his chair in anguish.
"satoru, morning. finally." shoko says, sitting down as well. she grins, bitting the popsicle stick between her lips. "where are all of your valentines presents?"
"stuffed in my shoe locker and under my desk." he claimed, opening the top of it to showcase the blaring red and pink gifts. she picked at one pocky box, munching on the biscuits. "how about you?"
"i got a couple letters and cookies in my locker." she claims, shrugging her shoulders, "lots of 'em are from the badminton team. i don't know why."
satoru shrugs as well as soon as suguru sits down in front of him. the blue-eyed students scoffs, looking away.
"good morning, satoru." he says, noticing his friend's behaviour, "what's got his panties in a twist this morning? does he know we called him a hundred times?"
"i dunno'." shoko says, looking out the window to the school garden. "ask him."
"satoru, what's wrong? didn't get enough presents this year?" he teases, leaning in his chair to poke his head, "wake up late?"
but satoru angrily swats his hand away. the raven-haire boy blinks curiously before satoru glares at him. "why didn't you tell me you were interested in y/n?" he asks, hurt.
shoko looks back to the two boys, seeing suguru just as confused as she is. "you're into y/n?"
"what? no! who said that?" suguru retorts, hands up in defense, "i'm not interested in dating y/n, swear on my life."
"that's a lie!" satoru accuses, pointing a finger against his friend's nose, "shoko, i saw him and y/n all... all... familiar yesterday after period 2! he had his arm around them!"
"suguru..." shoko warns.
"wait wait, that's—you got it all wrong." suguru groans, now understanding. he digs through his bag and pulls out a piece of paper. "here. open it."
satoru pushes away the paper reading 'g.s'. "no way! i'm not reading y/n's love letter to you!"
"ugh! just open it!" suguru grunts, shoving it onto his desk.
satoru begrudgingly takes it and gently opens the letter, not wanting to rip it. once his eyes fall upon the page, he confirms that it's your handwriting.
'thank you for being the sweetest boy to me. i am truly honoured to know such a beautiful person, inside and out.'
satoru wants to barf.
'sitting near you in biology really helped me to understand you, satoru. you're not only a pretty face, but a world-class sweet tooth, a sucker for romantic cliches and a cologne-collector.'
satoru thinks this is the most beautiful thing he's ever read.
he contiues to read, expression changing, letting shoko and suguru understand his thoughts. the girl looks to the other boy, who shrugs his shoulders and rolls his eyes.
"i'm confused." shoko states, tilting her head.
"y/n isn't confessing to me, they're confessing—"
"y/n is confessing to me! me, satoru!" satoru exclaims, waving the letter around like a maniac. everyone else in the class was suddenly a listener, peaking at the trio. they were interested in finding out what the one confession that resulted in this reaction was. "oh my god, oh my god!"
suguru nods his head. placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. "yes, yes, they are. i was meant to give you the letter this morning to read before homeroom, but someone was pissy." he scoffs, shaking his head, "so i had to go and tell y/n that plans had changed."
"you... helped y/n plan this all out?" satoru mumbles, "but you didn't even know!"
shoko chuckles, staring out the window again.
"i just said i wasn't paying attention so you didn't think i was snooping. which i was. and i only told you i knew y/n so you wouldn't get any ideas, like this." suguru circles the air with his finger, deadpanning at the clueless satoru, "you think anyone would do this without definitive proof the other person liked them?"
satoru continues to read the letter you wrote for him before his eyes land on the ending. "'please meet me at the school fountain before homeroom ends.'" he murmurs out, blinking, "suguru—"
"you were meant to go two minutes ago." his friend sings out, standing in front of shoko's desk. he points out the window, much like other students were doing in their own classrooms. "you should..."
when his friends turn around to him, satoru is already one foot out of the door. he's rushing downstairs (down three flights of stairs, actually) with your letter clutched in his hand. he almost flies into a couple teachers on the way to the garden, only for their attention to be caught by students opening the windows and pointing outside.
when he rushed through the doors to the garden, you're staring at the floor, still holding the flowers and gifts you brought to school with you. taking a moment to gather himself, satoru runs fingers through his hair and fixes his glasses. the pair you've complimented a thousand times.
satoru walks closer to you and when he catches your eye, you stand up straight and smile.
"satoru." you chime, not missing the thousand pairs of eyes that were following your every move. "good morning. happy valentines day."
you hold out the flowers to him. it's set in a nice box, and the treats are in a gift bag. when you give it to him, your smile is awkward but hopeful.
"happy valentines day, y/n." he replies, taking it from you. he sits down on the fountain edge, and you follow along. "i'm so sorry, i... i don't have anything for you."
"no, no, no." you retort, grinning, "it's fine. this was a surprise for you, anyway."
he sighs, "no, i'm sorry... please, let me make it up to you."
you laugh a little, placing a hand over his on his lap. the flowers were sat on the fountain with his gifts. "sure thing." you retort, "hey, suguru told me that this morning—"
"i'm sorry, i know, i just thought..." he begins, cutting you off. he looks embarrassed, heavy blush falling over his cheeks. "i saw you and suguru yesterday and you gave him that letter. had me thinkin' you were confessing to him instead of me."
you let out a small chuckle, making him gulp, "oh my goodness, i'm sorry, i didn't mean for you to see that. we were trying to be sneaky."
satoru's chest feels lighter, and he feels better just hearing it from you. he links his fingers with yours, facing you fully.
"ah, no it's fine." he tells you, the most purest form of adoration in his eyes that you can see from the top of his slanted down glasses. you grin softly. "listen, i have had a crush on you for months... and i was hoping that you'd go out with me. i want a chance to get to know you personally, away from any prying eyes."
you peer to the side, seeing the people watching you. they were practically hanging out the window, waving their hands and fighting to view the whole scene for themselves. cameras took photos and videos, capturing your moment with him.
"i'd love that, satoru." you say, scanning his face, "you're the best."
it only takes him a single second to reach his hand out and brush his thumb agaisnt your cheek. you don't freeze up though, only relaxing into him. he was the most inviting guy you've ever met.
"can i kiss you?" he asks, voice unwavering. his blue eyes are staring at your face with such kindness that it cannot be described.
you don't even say anything, only leaaning forward and pressing your lips to his. he's smiling against your lips, gentle hand caressing your cheek. your eyes flutter shut, holding his hand tightly.
cheers erupt from the school. screams and whoops from guys and girls alike. most students are heartbroken due to the obvious confession. nobody had even gotten that close to satoru. no one has been able to hold his hand, let alone get him to go crazy over a letter. you got him to race out of that classroom like a madman, and everyone was surely surprised.
the shouts die down as the kiss deescalates, many of the students sighing as they're forced to move on from the heart-throb gojo satoru.
when you pull away, satoru chases, leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead. your smile is wide and you pinch his cheek softly.
"you're such a drama queen, satoru." you say, standing up, "i was wondering why everyone started yelling and staring at me all of a sudden."
satoru stands with his presents, rubbing the back of his neck as he holds your hand. h goes to answer when a voice is heard from the fourth floor.
"the idiot took some convincing, y/n!" suguru shouts, waving his hand, "glad to know he's got some sense in him!"
"shut up, suguru!" satoru calls back, showing his fist.
"first period is about to start, you two!" the principle says through a window on the third floor, "this is all heart-warming, but you've failed two of ms kinoshita's classes, gojo!"
"r—right!" he retorts, pacing to the school entrance as people begin to 'ooh' at him. he looks back at you, smiling the brightest. "let's go out after school today, yeah? i'll buy you as many sweets as you want."
you chuckle, kissing his cheek, "my hero."
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welcometomyoasis · 3 months
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Seventeen's reaction to their 14th member being female
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Synopsis: when it is announced that seventeen will have a 14th member who is female, what would the seventeen members’ reactions be like.  Svt x platonic fem! reader | idol au, fluff, angst | 2.2k words| warnings: hate comments, periods, mention of physical attacks, food, unconsented photographs | requested by anon A/n: I had a great time writing this request so thank you anon! I hope you like it!
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✧₊⁺ Seungcheol
Leader mode activated. His first thought is “what is the company thinking? Are they crazy?” As the leader, he will try to make sure you are as comfortable in the group as possible but there are always going to be things out of his control. He’s worried about what the fans would think, how well you will fit into the group as the sole female member, whether the group dynamics would change, whether you would need extra security, etc. Yea, to say he is worried and hesitant, that would be an understatement. He works himself up to the point where you feel bad and offer to leave the company if your addition is going to be a burden. But Seungcheol insists that it’s okay, and that he’s just taking his responsibilities as leader very seriously to ensure that everyone is adjusting well. He’s apologetic that he can’t spend as much time with you because of his duties, though he reassures you that the rest of the members will take good care of you. He raised them well. So don’t worry okay? He’s not called the alpha leader for nothing. 
✧₊⁺ Jeonghan 
Vice leader mode activated. While Seungcheol begins to fret over having to keep the peace between the members, the company, and the fans, Jeonghan takes on the responsibility of getting you settled into the group. Afterall, he’s the group’s pillar of emotional support. He’s giving you tours of the practice room, introducing you to the staff members they work with, talking you through their quirks, and schedules. He knows that it’s a losing battle to try and fight against your addition to the group. So, why not make the best of the situation? He’s going to tell you to come to him for anything regardless of the time. He will do everything in his power to make sure you feel welcomed. He might not be the member who is the most visibly protective of you, but you can bet that behind the scenes, he’s keeping a close eye on the situation. Everyone better treat you well. They will have hell to pay if they don’t. 
✧₊⁺ Joshua
Protective gentleman mode activated. Joshua already is the perfect gentleman with the rest of the members (especially when they are on camera). But when the news comes that you’re going to be added to the group, his gentleman-like nature multiples 10 fold. He welcomes you readily, while he might not be physically with you all the time, you know that he’s keeping one eye out for you. He’s always handing you blankets or his jacket to cover your legs/ shoulders. He passes you the water bottle first before opening another one for himself. He’s protecting you from door handles even if there’s no danger there. He walks behind you so no one can take weird photographs of your behind. During that time of the month, he’s especially attentive to you, making sure you don’t overstrain yourself and that you’re eating well. No one questions him when he whips out medication or extra feminine products for you in the situation where you run out. 
✧₊⁺ Junhui
Inquisitive cat mode activated. A new member is interesting. The dynamics of the group will change, especially in this case because you’re a female. Junhui is generally more shy with new people at first, but once he warms up to you and gets used to having you around, he’s going to be asking you a ton of questions. He wants to get to know you, as a member, a fellow performer, and as a friend. What are your hobbies? Yes he knows your position in the group but do you like rapping, singing or dancing more? Are you an actor? He really really wants to know all the details like how did you get yourself into this mess that is joining seventeen? He’s interested in all of your performance outfits too. He probably tries it on at some point and accidentally ruins the seams and stitches. You’re going to laugh at him getting scolded while your outfit is getting mended. 
✧₊⁺ Soonyoung
Excited tiger mode activated. Besides being mildly worried about needing to alter all the formations for choreography, Soonyoung wouldn’t really care about having a female member added to seventeen. To him, it’s a refreshing change in the world of kpop where male female friendships are usually treated as a taboo subject. He’ll be extremely proud that seventeen would be the pioneers in adding a female member to the group and one of the only co-ed groups in the industry. He’s also so creative when it comes to the choreography that he will be interested to blend more feminine moves into the dances. It’s not only so that you will have time to shine, but also to switch up the dances a little. Dance is art. Who cares about whether the dance is supposed to be more masculine or feminine. He’s going to shake what he has been blessed with as much as he wants. You are going to be the insufferable duo doing all the dance challenges together.  
✧₊⁺ Wonwoo
Shy black cat mode activated. Out of all the members, I would say that Wonwoo has the hardest time adjusting to you joining the group. It’s mostly due to his own introverted nature. He just takes a while to really warm up to new people, and what’s more, as a member, you will now spend a significant amount of time with them. He’ll feel a little awkward at the change in dynamic because it’s like a destabilising force to a place he felt so safe and comfortable in. He’ll keep his distance at first until he’s ready to approach you. Once he does, it’s like there was never that barrier between you in the first place. Wonwoo is such a thoughtful, observant person that although he wasn’t interacting with you, he was still picking up on all your habits and quirks. He’ll blend into your routine pretty quickly, offering you water and snacks whenever he thinks you’re getting tired or hungry. His intellect is also admirable and his way of dealing with issues or articulating things helps you a lot when you’re feeling stressed but aren’t able to verbalise it properly. In the end, he’s one of your comfort people. 
✧₊⁺ Woozi
Creative mode activated. As seventeen’s producer, and also as a leader of seventeen, he does share some of the worries that Seungcheol has. It’s a big change and there will have to be a long period of adjustment. Still, the creative part of him is just buzzing to get going. A female member changes a lot of things when it comes to the songs he can produce. He’ll volunteer to be your vocal trainer, helping you to get used to seventeen’s previous songs and also just to get a feel of your strengths and weaknesses. It turns out that he loves the contrast between your voice and the deeper voices of the rest of the members. Your voice adds more colour and flavour into the songs. He likes experimenting to see which members’ voices complement yours the best, and he absolutely loves the fact that you can help him record more demos so he can see the differences in the vibes of the same song. He ends up hogging you for help so much that the rest of the members have to forcefully drag you away from his studio. 
✧₊⁺ Dokyeom
Shadow mode activated. He’s a ball of sunshine but Dokyeom practically becomes your shadow once you are introduced. He’s following you everywhere like a lost puppy. He can’t help it, he’s just so excited and happy to have a new member in seventeen. Not going to lie, you were a little weirded out at how he was sticking to you in the beginning, but his enthusiasm is contagious. You’re soon running around together like two gremlins screaming and making jokes in between practice as the rest of the members shake their heads and watch you both adoringly. Both of you might end up as your own comedy duo. The Dokyeom-Y/n pair soon becomes the most popular grouping during gose. For some reason, you two crackheads make everything seem more fun which helps to lighten the spirits of the whole group. 
✧₊⁺ Minghao
Protective, no nonsense mode activated. When you first join the group, Minghao is probably one of the members that you feel intimidated by, though you’re able to warm up to each other soon enough. He’s stern but patient with you during dance practice. You appreciate his honesty and how he approaches teaching you the dances. Of course, Minghao is known for his no nonsense attitude when it comes to the line between idols and their fans. If there is one thing Minghao can’t stand, it’s how ridiculous some fans are when it comes to their delusions. Idols are humans too. Words can hurt. They can physically get hurt. Minghao holds that line firmly when he encounters anyone who throws hate or threatens physical harm at you for being the only female member. He won’t hesitate to lecture them and put them in their place. He’ll actually be even more blunt than before. You’re his friend and his fellow seventeen member. He’s not going to sit idly and let you get insulted. 
✧₊⁺ Mingyu
Overprotective brother mode activated. You can bet that this hyper puppy is just bouncing on his feet in excitement when you’re introduced to the group. As soon as introductions are out of the way, he appoints himself as your overprotective brother (regardless of your age). He’s soon sticking by your side during dance practice, vocal practice, and especially during the times when you’re both out in public. His happy-go-lucky nature makes it easy to get close to him. He’s also so protective over you that the guards don’t even have a job anymore. He’s not the most observant person but he’s so physically large that he’s become your personal bodyguard. He’s ready to step in as soon as he sees anything remotely dangerous come your way (even if it’s just Soonyoung running towards you). Besides that, he because you’re so close to him, he becomes your shoulder to cry on when you’re feeling down, overwhelmed by idol life and all the hate that comes with it. At some point, be prepared to be adopted by the entire 97’ line and all their extended friends.  
✧₊⁺ Seungkwan
Jeju hospitality mode activated. Boy is born to be a host and a tv star. Add that to his welcoming, warm, open personality, and he becomes a perfect guide for you. He takes it upon himself to try to explain every little detail about settling in with seventeen to you (though he just sulks when you smile sheepishly at him because Jeonghan already told you what he was trying to say). Still, you’re thankful for his efforts. Of course the rest of the members will never make fun of you for asking too many questions or wanting to reconfirm anything, but Seungkwan doesn’t hesitate to take the first step to ask you if you need any help. He senses when you’re struggling and will offer you help even before you need to open your mouth to ask. He’s probably one of the reasons why you were able to adjust to the group as quickly as you did. 
✧₊⁺ Vernon
Nonchalant mode activated. Honestly? He has his reservations, but that is to be expected with any big changes that happen to an idol group. There’s no reason to freak out over it especially since it’s been mandated by the company. He knows he can’t change anything so his way of dealing with it is simply just to accept the change, and you into the group. He takes the changes within his stride, making an effort to get to know you well. The more things he knows about you, the easier it is to work with you. It will be like back during the trainee days when male and female trainees sometimes worked together. His accepting attitude is welcoming and you’ll find yourself becoming fast friends with Vernon, with him becoming a close confidant for you because he never freaks out excessively in any situation. 
✧₊⁺ Dino 
Partner in crime mode activated. Dino is well loved although he is often the target of the rest of the members’ mischief. He always swears he is going to get back at the rest of the members for teasing him one day. But with you around? The only female member? He just knows that you’re going to be the best partner in crime. He will probably take on the responsibility of getting you acquainted with all their dances and the dance formations. While you’re at it, there’s nothing to say you can’t have a little fun. You’re both definitely going to be able to bond over the rest of the members’ insufferable teasings. Plus, when you both prank the rest of the members, you can use each other as an alibi. No one is ever going to blame the innocent maknae and the innocent female member. Right? 
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taglist: @weird-bookworm @wonijinjin @babyleostuff @wishing-fieshes @kwanienies @mayashu @megseungmin @porridgesblog @haecien @mirxzii @scoupsofcherries @eightlightstar @brownsugarbaybee @zaggprincess2 @nonononranghaee
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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 20 days
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Sniffle any louder
Natasha Romanoff x reader
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Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆
Summary - when you show up to work il lit aggravates Natasha that is until she sees your dire state
Warnings - mention of illness, nonsexual nudity, hurt comfort, as usual not proofread
Word count - 2k
A/n - I started rushing at the end because I wanted to have it out by tonight so the ending might not be as good srry
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Fractures of pain shot through your aching body like icicles as you left the team meeting. God how you wished you'd just admitted you were ill this morning instead of letting your pride get in the way and pretended to the team that you were right as rain. I guess that's what happens when your on a team with literal super soldiers, you too start believing your above any illness or injury. Oh, but how wrong you realised you were when this flu hit you like a ton of bricks. The combined migraine alongside with the distrsssing chill of your bones left little energy left for you to do anything except lie down and rest, which you hated to admit and wouldn't ever given the choice, despite how sickly you'd begun to look.
Your usual bright eyes full of life and wonder became dull and bloodshot from the lack of sleep your blocked nose had caused you the previous night when you chose to ignore it. The skin on your face that was often painted a rosy colour now paled almost deathly looking, comparable to that of a ghost. Your unshakable senses, often remarked as some of the best had become overworked and dulled from the sickness using up all your remaining energy causing you not to notice people around you until they had begun to speak. The gravelly gasping and choking noises that spluttered from your inflamed throat were foreign to your usual bubbly voice.
Despite these stark and clear changes in not only your physical appearance but also how you carried yourself around the compound you had tricked yourself, somehow, into the belief no one around you would notice. Obviously you were unwell anyone could see that from a mile off and if you didn't think out of a house full of spies, enhanced beings and military personnel that not one of them would pick up on something up with you then you must have been seriously down with something.
Unlucky for you someone did notice after your sniffling had interupted their train of thought for the seventh time, it didn't take a genuis but she'd been ignoring the signs since you arrived. Natasha Romanoff had been trying to reread and correct a badly written mission report written by an incompetent intern. This had already been stressful enough for her without the woman next to her trying to desperately through her blocked nose instead of just going home. The first time she actually noticed something was up was when you nearly walked into the door, stumbling around like bambi on ice. This was something someone with your spacial awareness and high senses would never manage to do if they were as okay as they were telling everyone they were. She spotted it again when you began to cough like a smoker and at that like someone who smoked at least five packs a day, a thing she knew you were not. You'd told her a while back that despite your bad habits which were endless and definitely on show today that you never wanted to smoke because it reminded you of your mother. So unless you'd switched up on that which she very much doubted and had taken up chain smoking the answer was clear; you were ill, very ill.
She also questioned why you were even here, how you were even here. Natasha would leap at the first chance to avoid these dull meetings even if it meant admitting illness to the rest of the group. She'd actually faked being ill before to skip debriefs and instead head to the gym. At one point she had no clue how you were even still able to be alive and functioning with how shallow your breaths were. Everytime your mouth opened a disgusting noise alike to the disgust she felt at nails on a chalk board rung from deep in your throat. Aswell your ever scratcher voice that was beginning to drive her insane. It was one thing to come in sick, it was another to make yourself more ill by working harder than usual.
This had made her angry more than anything, angry at your selflessness. Angry no one else would ever do this, including herself. Angry you put working above your own physical health. Angry that you'd risk everyone else getting ill instead of taking a sick day. Angry you couldnt just admit your illness and leave.
Your eighth sniffle really sent Natasha over the edge as she turned to look dead at you and gave you a menacingly dirty look. A scowl that could kill glowering into your soul. Yet in feverly state you could hardly even register the spy looking in your direction as you still tried to process something said in conversation several minutes ago. Throughout the rest of the meeting she sideyed, scowled, gritted teeth, frowned, muttered under breath and cursed in your direction much to you ignorance. On an average day you could recognise what emotion someone was going through just by being in the same room as them and the tone of their breath but right now even with Natasha directly next you, practically right in your face you couldn't pick up a single negative emotion.
After the meeting you quickly stumbled in the direction of your room, hoping to avoid anyone on the way there, which you managed with much ease despite your worsening condition. Once you reached your room you shut the door without bothering with the lock. Stripped to your underwear and crawled back into bed without a sound. Curling up under your soft thick duvets you shivered and slowly cried yourself into a feverish slumber.
Natasha stayed behind to finish her reports, which she easily could have done hours ago without your incessant coughing and sniffling and all round ill noises. It only infuriated her more as she worked quickly, alone and welcoming the silence since the end of the meeting. When she finished up the work she was just about ready to give you a piece of her mind. And thats what she was gonna do. She had strong feelings about you prioritisation of work over wellness and she was gonna share them with you whether you wanted to hear or not.
Easily, she threw open your door and it hit the wall with a bang, enraged she didnt notice your crumpled whimpering figure writhing under the duvet.
"Sniffle a little louder next meeting." She comments loudly and sarcastically before instantly wincing at the sight of you in the bed.
Instantly her whole demeanour changes into one of care and pure unhidden worry. Natasha crouched over your trembling figure on the bed. Quickly she removed the pile of blankets from overtop and pressed a palm to your forhead before just as swiftly pulling it away with a frown. You were boiling 38°c at the very least and yet your body was still shivering. Without thinking twice Natasha knew the best thing for you was a cold, very cold shower.
She carried your somehow still sleeping figure easily into the bathroom as if you were no more than a light weight to her, which you probably were considering her max dead lift. Gently and ever so carefully she sat you down in the bath before turning the cool shower on next to you. Adjusting it so the water pressure was lower than usual so that it maybe less of a shock for when you fully woke.
Soon after the water began to flow your eyes opened to the hazy view before you. Natasha knelt over the bath making sure you were just alright. When you noticed the water and the bath, definitely not where you fall asleep you began to panic. Quickly flailing much like a fish out of water. Thrashing to get out the bath and attempting to scrabble to your feet. Natasha noticed your sudden frenzy and much quicker than you could, grabbed a hold of your hands halting your movements while whispering affirming words to you.
"Shh sh its okay. Your just in the bath, don't worry were just trying to soothe your fever." She begins to rub your palms slowly in a way which soothes you and instantly slows your panic as you go to rest your head on the bathroom wall.
"Hm don't do that darling. Try and stay awake while your in the bath, just for now." She's says quietly afraid to worsen the headache you already had as she coaxes your head off the wall. "That's it good girl. You can do this."
Her small praises would have usually annoyed you and felt almost condescending but right now they were almost enough to make you smile. She was making you feel as if your feeble attempts to stay conscious were really doing anything.
"M' so tired." You mumbled out a response that slumped together into your mouth so it was barely understandable to Natasha yet she still smiled and nodded at you, not wanting you to feel any worse than you already did.
"That's okay sweet girl, the sooner we get you out the bath and some medicine down you the sooner you can sleep." All the while she kept rubbing at your hands and fingers to keep you grounded in the moment. "I'm going to find you some fresh clothes just stay here."
You nodded but the minute Natasha left your head flopped back against the wall as if magnetised towards it. Upon her return with fresh clothes Natasha tutted.
"You really aren't well, are you?" A small attempt at a nod on your part did not surprise her one bit. "See if you told someone earlier we wouldn't be here right now. You have to ask for help when you need it." She knew her words meant little to you in your current state but she wanted to start bedding them in now nonetheless.
"Now, do you need help getting dressed? There's no shame in needing the help."
"Uhm.. I think a bit." Your response was croaky and your voice was beginning to sound worse by the second.
"That's okay, I'll help you then." She gives you a hand getting out the bath and holds you upright as she helps fully undress you. In her panic to get you in the bath she hadn't thought to remove what you were wearing.
You weren't insecure about your body but something like this would usually not be on with you. But right now you knew you couldn't refuse the help Natasha was offering as you could barely even stand still yourself. So begrudgingly you allowed her to undo your bra and slip off your underwear before tossing them in the bath saying something about getting them to the wash later. Putting on the fresh clothes was easier than either of you anticipated as you didn't resist and her strength helped you from falling against the cold tile floor.
Natasha helped you hobble back towards your bed which you instantly fell against ready to embrace sleep again.
"Ah. Not so quick, first the medicine then sleep." She said softly handing you first a couple pills and some water. "For your headache." Begrudgingly you took them and Natasha smiled as she saw the look of grimace on your face finding it both amusing and adorable. "Okay sweet girl just the syrup left, this will help for your throat." You stared at the syrup in your hand with a frown. Just the smell of its contents was enough to make you dry heave and its colour wasn't tempting either. After two minutes of more convincing and praise you managed to stomach it, not all of it but enough so Natasha was happy enough to stop bothering you.
You knew after that you could finally emmerse yourself in a blissful slumber and with little care curled up, face pressing into Natasha who watched over you as you slept making sure nothing interupted your much needed rest.
Tags: @wandasfifthwife @yanaromanov @idkwhatever580 @stayevildarling
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neonvqmpire · 2 years
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this is so fucking cruel apple what the fuck
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Genuinely a HUGE shoutout to Nexusmods today!! /pos
So I didn't catch this, seeing as I hadn't gone on Nexusmods in the last 12 hours, but apparently today an author published a mod titled "Traditional Marriage", which took away the gay marriage options for players. But in the description, the author put TONS of homophobic bullshit and general bigotry.
And Nexusmods took it down almost IMMEDIATELY!!!
I only know of the mod's existence because of a thread I saw online where the person posting called out the mod maker's bigotry, but within around one hour of that posting, Nexusmods removed the mod completely.
Below is the screenshot of the description, which the thread copy-pasted from the mod page when it was up. But also, their commentary on the homophobic basis for this mod is GORGEOUS!!!
No, Karen, it's not a mod about "preference". It's about hating apples so much that you deleted them from your game so that you never have to see apples being sold at the general merchants or, Talos forbid, an apple pie on the table of some house you broke into in the middle of the night. Wanting to literally erase apples from existence so you never have to be confronted by the horror that other people out there prefer apples isn't "preference"; it's bigotry.
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So shoutout to Nexusmods, seriously, for having deleted this mod so soon. Yes, people are and should be allowed to mod their games however they want! That's the whole point of modding! But when someone makes a mod for homophobic purposes and posts it to perpetuate homophobia, that is not ok, and that should not be permitted. Good on the site for understanding this.
And what's more is that TES, the game series for which the mod was made, has ALWAYS had LGBT+ rep in general. Hell, Vivec is gender fuckery incarnate. In ESO during the Vivec City questline, there's a woman who cries that her wife/girlfriend (don't remember which) is stuck in the rubble of the fallen temple. The Daedric Princes are all referred to as princes regardless of their gender presentation. Many of them are just... whatever the fuck eldritch horror they feel like being (looking at you, Mora and Hircine). The series is outright full of various representation for LGBT+ characters, and it always has been. One Skyrim dev even said something at one point regarding Nords which was along the lines of "The men are big, hairy and have beards. The women are big, hairy, and have beards."
TES is NOT the game to endorse bigotry in LGBT+ rep. And Nexusmods showed today that they don't endorse it anywhere on their site, either. I'm grateful for that.
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gender-trash · 5 months
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(i am seriously late in posting about this due to The Problems BUT whatever! its here now!!)
somewhere around late november 2022, i asked my dad "hey are there any out of print technical books you'd like a reprint of for christmas?"
he linked me to a dubious black-and-white pdf of Foundations of Mechanical Accuracy. now, i wound up checking out a copy through link+, and the original edition is a really nicely put together book! the chapters are themed around various types of measurements (length, angle, etc), and they all have these cute little diagrams which the endpapers reuse in a lil repeating pattern... the image captions are done in this really lovely dark red that did not scan for SHIT... tons and tons of diagrams and illustrations and images (both color and b&w)... just, all around, a fucking nice book!! (see also @morrak's post about it here.)
and that made me feel kind of bad about the crappiness of the pdf, which is where the Problems began. i used my phone to take pictures of all the photos and color diagrams in the original and went about replacing them in the pdf, using what turned out to be the world's worst pdf editing software (i also got through replacing all the image captions in chapter 1 of 5 before my dad convinced me to give up). i did NOT finish the pdf editing before christmas 2022 (i was going somewhat off the deep end, because both my housemates were away visiting family and i had zero external structure in my life so it was just me and my cat and this stupid FUCKING pdf wrecking my sleep schedule together); i poked away at it for most of the rest of my time off and then got so goddamn sick of it i put the project away for months. "it'll be a birthday gift instead", i said optimistically (my dad's birthday is in april! it should have been enough time!)
gentle readers, i did not finish the pdf editing by april. mostly because it was such a miserable slog that i put it off until the last possible moment and then tried to make up for it with another death march.
hating both myself and the project again, i decided i was Not going to let myself typeset Anything Else before it was done, and then took a break to bind my immortal (using the renegade publishing typeset! i didn't do any typesetting!!). SURELY, i said, i can finish this in time for christmas 2023.
i'm sure you know where this is going.
in my defense i DID finish the pdf editing by christmas, despite first doing every other possible procrastination project (including a second edition of the little second century warlord book), because by this point my dad had managed to convince me to lower my standards. on the evening of the 22nd i kicked off the print job and said to myself "this will finish printing overnight and then tomorrow i can work on sewing the textblock!"
late on the 23rd, after lots of babysitting and using at least one cartridge of every color ink in my printer, the print job was finally done. (my sweet and lovely cat wants SO BADLY to hunt and stalk the printer while it is printing -- more specifically, the printed pages, i think because they tend to make noise and move and then STOP moving. for this reason, the printer is kept in the craft room, because the cat can be shut out of the craft room and thus prevented from chewing on the pages when i have an all-day book printing job going. unfortunately the craft room was also being pressed into service as a guest room at the time so 80% of the floor space was consumed by an air mattress which i had to repeatedly trip over in order to reach the printer and replace the ink cartridges.)
then i went to my parents' house on the 24th and 25th and apologized to my dad (again) for not having the book finished. but this worked out well because we finished putting together my awesome new book clamp:
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(the feet still aren't done being painted so they're just dry-fit on for now but you can still clamp books in it and that's what matters!!)
i came home, sewed the textblock (french link stitch over four linen tapes, with sewn endbands made of variegated embroidery floss over linen cord, and kozo paper glued over the spine)
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... and promptly realized i SHOULD HAVE PUT IN MORE OF A GUTTER because some of the text was getting reeeeeeal close to the spine. "it's fine!" i said. "i just have to make sure it lays flat!! what better time than to try out K118 binding, a technique i have literally never done before and which people on the bookbinding discord notoriously have a hard time pulling off first try! i even have tyvek tape for it!"
so it turns out that tyvek tape isn't actually tyvek with glue on it, it's tape FOR attaching pieces of tyvek TO EACH OTHER, which maybe i could have guessed if i'd done even the slightest amount of research or planning. at this point i think it was the 27th and i was still angling to get this thing done by new year's, so no time to order Actual Tyvek.
fortunately, i had ALSO received An Package in the mail with yarn for a totally unrelated knitting project... shipped in a tyvek envelope.
i peeled all the shipping labels and stickers off my tyvek envelope, cut that shit up, and glued it on there.
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and THEN it was time for gluing on covers, which i thought was going to be easy because i had actually thought ahead and ordered materials (specifically acid-free museum board), except when i cracked open the box of museum board i decided i Didn't Like It because the surface was too soft and easily dented, so i glued onto it the too-thin board material i'd previously been using (so that the cardboard goes on the outside of the book). this worked super well (the cardboard stuff has a tendency to curl up from the glue moisture, but the museum board doesn't!) and i'll probably use it on other stuff in the future.
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i thought the blue bookcloth i used was kind of boring but i showed my dad the available cloth options and he really liked it, so... what do you know? i cut the piece i used on the back cover very slightly too short but it wound up being covered by the leather, so you can barely tell.
and the leather... a scrap just baaaaarely big enough from my bag of leather scraps from discount fabrics... and this the first time i'd ever attempted to put leather on a book... AND YET the only complaint i have is that i didn't manage to put an even amount on the front and back. it's reasonably square and straight!! amazing!!
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i am super super happy with how this project came out (especially given the number of problems i encountered) and oh my god check out how much the spine bends
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AND, AS A NEW YEAR'S PRESENT, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAD
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rapunzelbro · 3 months
Text
Comforting Velvette as her S/O.
So tumblr broke, this request was vanished from my profile. So to the anon who requested I��m so sorry I hope you find this The prompts were “I don’t want to be alone right now” and another I forgot. Enjoy!
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Masterlist Taglist
It would take forever to establish a relationship with Velvette let's be honest here.
She doesn't want anyone to see her in a vulnerable state, she doesn't want anyone thinking she is weak and needed a partner
That was until she met you, something about you was just different to her.
You were soft spoken, minded your own business but wouldn't stay quiet when someone said something that set you off.
Like to piss you off? Man you'd set whoever pissed you off, straight and they wouldn't speak, or argue with you again.
And your designs were amazing decent.
Velvette rarely had to make any changes when it came to your sketches
And your stitch work? Fucking flawless compared to the others. Who just were you?
She would try to stalk you on social media to find out you had no account, or one she could find, with a little help from Vox she did eventually find it.
It was a completely anonymous account, with a rather decent following Like probably 10k?
Impressive but not compared to Velvette
Your account was hiding your identity by a random username that had no mention of you in the slightest, and no posts that involved photos of you. Just sketches, sheet music photos, and the occasional video of someone singing, which she assumed was you.
But what amused her more than anything, was seeing multiple sketches of her on your page.
You captured her beautifully, didn't make her look bad in any sort of way, it was so simple, but yet so beautiful.
Velvette definitely sereenshotted the sketeh
She never would have thought you admired her outside the work place. Let alone be a fucking singer too? What couldn't you do?
She'd call you into her office the next day and you'd be so fucking anxious that you fucked up somehow as you knocked on the door
"Yeah yeah come in"
You'd take a deep breath calming your nerves down before you went inside, closing the door behind you as you walked to her desk, she was still looking down at her phone
"You wanted to see me Miss?"
The second she heard your voice she looked up from her phone, placing it down and grabbing a piece of paper from the inside of her desk before placing it down
Shit
“Would you care to explain this?"
Your cheeks instantly flared red in embarrassment as you realized just what it was
The sketches of her that you drew
"I..I'm so sorry I promise it won't happen again I just well I-“
"Oh quit your yapping I'm not mad you idiot"
She instantly shuts you down slight irritation on her face, while confusion struck yours as you remained silent
"I'm promoting you to head designer, don't fuck this up. Shoo get back to it"
What the fuck? No literally, what the fuck?
You left as soon as she shooed you away, you were beyond confused as to why she did what she did, but you'd never question her.
Months after the promotion you and Velvette would become closer, considering how the two of you now worked closer together since you directly reported to her now.
Velvette wasn't as harsh as she usually was to you, she listened to your suggestions and took your thoughts seriously.
Velvette would ask you to go to a fashion show with her Saying it was to get another eye on the new trends, but you and her both indirectly knew it was her asking you in a date, which you obvious said yes.
After that point you were would date in private If anyone were to question you two?
They'd be instantly fired on spot or killed. She didn't need anyone peaking into her personal life
Would introduce you to the other Vee's later on
"She is mine don't try and start no fucking deals with her, shes off the market"
If she didn't say that Valentino would have snatched your ass for himself. And man did he want to. Fucking creep
You two often watched tv together in her room in private, or you would sketch her, she absolutely loved that she was your muse. She would always have sketch books and the highest quality of materials.
You stayed with her during the exterminations that happened for your protection too, she wouldn't let you not stay with her if you were killed she'd fucking lose her mind
It's been almost a year since the two of you have been together privately, with the exception of Vox and Val
You'd be working late at the office sewing a new design when you'd get a text from her
"Y/n doll. Can come back to our room whatever you're doing can wait"
"Be there in five"
Oh and you moved in with her. Per her request of course.
You finish up what you were doing before heading back, knocking on the door to your shared room
When you don’t hear a response you grow concerned, as you open the door.
You see Velvette on the bed on your shared bed on her side. She quickly sits up hearing the door open
"Vox I told you to fuck off! Wait Y/n"
Her hard glare softens, she can tell she was crying
"Velv.. are you okay? What happened?"
You quickly made your way over to her
"I don't want to be alone right now, doll"
She simply says before you instantly hug her.
Her returning the hug as you two just sit there, her quietly sobbing as you gently run your fingers through her soft curls, humming gently to her, trying to comfort her the best you can
You two are like that before she pulls away, keeping a hand in yours as you wipe the tears that remained trying your best to not smear her makeup anymore than it already was.
After a while she finally talks about what was causing her pain.
She might not be open to a lot of people
But damn do you help her a lot.
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moonstruckme · 1 month
Note
I had an art show tonight and no one showed up(strangers did, but my friends and fam didn't. They were all too busy i guess). If it's okay with you could I get some comfort from Robin? I need my beautiful girlfriend to hug me 😔😪🤧
I'm really sorry it went down like that sweetheart, I hope the show was good overall and you feel more supported if you do it again! Thanks for requesting <3
Robin Buckley x fem!reader ♡ 473 words
“I think it went well, right?” Robin sits atop the one table you haven’t folded up yet, eating mini brownies right out of the tray. “I mean, plenty of people came, and that one lady said she’ll come to your next one, too. You gave tons of people your info.” 
“Yeah.” You try to sound upbeat, packing away the last of your pieces and joining her on the table. “You’re right, it wasn’t bad.” 
Your girlfriend turns her head to look at you, mouth puckering. “Okay, you say that, but you’re still looking all mopey.” 
“Sorry,” you sigh. “I just wish they’d come.” 
The bridge of her nose wrinkles, pretty eyes squinting distastefully. “Whatever. More brownie bites for us,” she says, popping another one in her mouth. 
You try to laugh, but it’s not very convincing. Robin’s expression creases further. 
“Sorry,” she says around the brownie. Swallows. “Sorry, it’s just, it’s shitty. It is.” She hops down from the table, standing between your knees. Her ringed hands travel up the outsides of your thighs. “You were amazing today. Like, seriously. You were so good at talking to people, and everyone wanted to hear about your art, and they should, because it’s the fucking coolest, you know?” She looks into your face, seemingly to make sure you do know, and she doesn’t push you when you look away. 
“It really sucks that they didn’t get to see it,” she says, so earnestly disappointed it makes the ache of your own heart worsen. 
You twine your arms loosely around her neck, and Robin doesn’t need more urging to hug you, pushing in between your legs as her hands slide up around your lower back. You’re just taller than her like this, her face pushing into your shoulder while your cheek squishes against her hair. She holds you tight around your middle, fingers clutching at your shirt like you’ll disappear if she’s not careful. 
“We should stop going to any of their things,” she mumbles, turning her face into your neck so the words vibrate against your skin. “There are too many birthdays in a year anyway.” 
You laugh, for real this time. “No, I don’t think I’m that mad.” 
“This is the problem,” Robin sighs, though she sounds happier than before. “You’re too nice.” 
“Like you would do any different if you were me.” 
She makes a cute disgruntled sound, hugging you tighter. Something in your chest lightens. “It’s different when it’s you. I have more of a thirst for vengeance.” 
“Sorry.” You turn your face into the crown of her head, lips curving. “I hate to leave you unquenched.” 
Robin’s quiet for a second, thoughtful. “Can I at least make pointed comments about how cool your show was the next time we see them?” 
“I mean, if you really want to.” 
“Oh, I do.”
109 notes · View notes
lovelywritinglady · 1 month
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Beach Days
Gojo Satoru x f!Reader
Reader and Gojo spend the day at the beach together along with their classmates. Fluffy, Gojo being a slight ass. Some Nanami x reader because I felt like it. (especially after season 2 of JJK)
“Pleaseeeeee, come one Y/nnnnn! It’ll be so much more fun if you go too!” Gojo practically yelled trying to convince you to go with him and a few other classmates to the beach this Saturday.
“Gojo I already told you I’m busy that day.” You told him as your eyes never the assignment you were working on.
“Look I will fucking pay you to go with me, just please tag along! You ain’t afraid of water are ya?” He teased
“Fine, I’ll go. However, you’ve got to promise not to whine when I have to leave early. I have a test that I need a lot of time to study for.” You reluctantly told him secretly happy that he asked you to go to the beach with him and your other classmates. You blushed at the thought of being able to be with them in a positive way instead of fighting curses.
“Yesss, I promise we’ll have a shit ton of fun! And don’t you worry about that test. Even if you didn’t study you’d ace that shit, but as long as you go I won’t be sad you’re leavin’ early I guess.” He said excitedly with a slight pout on his oddly perfect lips.
“Maybe you’re right, but I’m not taking any chances.” You slightly laughed finding it cute that he was pouting a little.
“Alrighty, we’re all meeting up at the front of the school and taking a school van at 11. Don’t be late sugar.” Gojo stated as he quickly left but not before giving you a wink and a big wave goodbye. You rolled your eyes at his flirting but still felt butterflies in your stomach all the same. You hated your crush on Gojo but, seriously, who could help themselves when it’s the Satoru Gojo.
The next day…
You arrived at the meeting spot five minutes before 11 just in case. Funny enough, only Nanami Kento, your classmate, was there witha borded expression on his face. You walked up to him with your beach bag in hand and wished him a good morining.
"Good morning Nanami." You spoke to him giving him a small smile
"Ah, good morning L/n, I'm guessing that Gojo's constant pestering go to you too." He said in an irked tone.
"Yes, he was quite annoying about it, but I think it'll actually be good for me to have a relaxing day at the beach with you guys. Besides when is the last time we were together that didn't include killing something." You pointed out
"True, I didn't take that into consideration. It will be nice not having those responsibilities for once." He agreed giving you a small smile.
"So where is Haibara? Isn't he normally with you?" You asked him genuenly curious where your sweetheart of a classmate is.
"He said he would meet me here at eleven due to the face that he overslept a bit. I came earlier just in case Gojo decided to be spontaneous again and leave without us." Nanami responded checking his watch.
"Makes sense you'd be here early. You're always so punctual, that's what I like about you so much!" You complimented him giving him a wide smile.
"Oh, well thank you L/n." He said quietly blushing slightly at your niceness.
"Anytime, now when will they get here?" You questioned out loud.
As if you could see the future, there walked your remaining classmates along with their beach bags. Gojo, funny enough, had a big pink flamingo floaty on his arm and you laughed slightly at the sight. As soon as he saw you he picked up the pace, giving you one of his signature goofy smiles. Geto, Shoko, and Haibara waved at you and Nanami and the two of you returned the gesture. Your attetion turned to your white haired classmate as he strolled right up to you.
"You actually came and early too!" Gojo said excitedly
"Of course I did. I decided that it would be nice to get some sun." You told him slightly blushing at his exposed abs as him, Geto, and Haibara all were shirtless except for unbuttoned shirts.
"Well good Y/n, glad you're here!" he said getting closer to your face making you blush more.
"Alright Satoru, lets get loaded up!" Geto yelled getting into the drivers seat.
Everyone got in and Nanami made his way to sit next to you only for the seat to be taken by Gojo. You gave Nanami an apologetic smile as he took a seat next to Haibara instead. Gojo started yapping on about some video game he just started playing with Geto and how he was kicking his ass in it. You heard Geto mumble how Gojo was actually losing a lot, which earned a few chuckles from you and your other classmates. Gojo pouted and looked out the window with a huff. You thought it was cute seeing his lips pucker the way they did. A few minutes passed when he finally got out of his little trantrum and gave his attention to you. He began yapping and then proceeded to ask you all kinds of questions. However, one question stuck out from the rest.
"So y/n you got a boyfriend or something?" He asked but unlike the other questions, he spoke in a serious tone.
"Um...no." You responded back slightly confused as to where this question came from.
"Hmm... okay then!" He chirped and continued yapping once more. You looked at the front of the van only to see Geto smirking at you which caused your face to feel hot and your hands slightly clammy.
"Oi Y/n! Oi Y/n! Y/nnnnn, are you paying attention?" You finally heard Gojo whine.
"Oh sorry, what were you saying?" You asked giving him an apologetic smile. This yapping continued as Geto drove everyone to the beach.
After some time later, you all arrived at your beautiful destination. Geto and Shoko were the first ones to get out of the van. You and Gojo followed and then Nanami and Haibara were the last ones. You took in the sights before you. The ocean was a magnificent deep blue and the beach was vibrant white. The sun beamed down on you making you squint despite the fact that you were wearing sunglasses.
Before you could react you saw Gojo, Geto, and Haibara all running at full speed as they raced towards the water ahead. You could hear Haibara say the sad was too hot as he finally made it to the water, coming in third place with Gojo in first. A laugh erupted from you and Shoko as you held onto each other. You then looked at Nanami who had a content smile on his face which made you even happier. Just as you were about to say something to him, Shoko grabbed your arm pulling you to the other boys that were now splashing each other aggressively.
“Come on y/n!” Shoko yelled as she pulled you. You can’t remember the last time she was so lively, but you relished in it.
“Shoko we need to put sunscreen on first.” You giggled
“Oh yeah, right.” She stopped giving you a sweet smile.
“Might as well set up a spot too I guess.” You chimed in. You looked back at Nanami who also made
“Good idea, because there is no way in hell these boys are going to do it right. Well maybe Nanami.” She spoke.
The two of you then set up a spot with towels and a few beach umbrellas. It didn’t take long as the two of you were eager to be in the water. You and Shoko then got the sunscreens out of your bags and began putting it on yourselves. What you didn’t notice was Gojo staring intently at you, as he had for nearly the whole time you and Shoko were setting up the spot.
Just then, Gojo ran up to the two of you. His whole body soaking wet from the endless splashing he did with the boys. He stood in front of you with a wide grin on his face.
“Hey, you need help putting that sunscreen on y/n? Wouldn’t want ya burning.” He asked with a playful smirk
“Sure, why not. Thank you Gojo.” You responded handing him the bottle of sunscreen.
He took it happy from your hands as he gestured for you to turn around, to which you obliged. You could hear the sound of it opening and soon enough Gojo was applying it on your back. You didn’t even realize the furious blush on your face in this moment. The feeling of his hands on your body gave you goosebumps. And a content sigh left your lips. Gojo chuckled at this as he took it upon himself to give you a small massage which made you let out another sigh.
“There that should be good.” He commented but before you could respond he bent down and began whispering in your ear. “Y/n from now on I’d be honored if you’d call me Satoru.” He whispered as his right hand was still on your lower back. You turned your head to look at him as your eyes met his. You were so close to each other and if anyone was looking at the two of you, they would assume you guys were a lovesick couple. Shoko who was next to the two of you smiled thinking how finally the two of you were finally getting somewhere.
“Thank you Satoru.” You whispered looking back in fourth between his lips and his piercing eyes.
“Anything for you.” Satoru responded getting closer.
You moved yourself closer too even though space was rather limited at this point. You could feel his breath on his face. His eyes bore into yours as you couldn’t hide the fact that you wanted him to kiss you. Satoru could tell you wanted it and just as he was about to kiss you a beach ball was launched at the two of you. Thankfully, Satoru turned on his infinity shielding the two of you from it.
“Sorry Satoru! Sorry L/N!”Yelled Geto who stood in the water.
“Dammit Suguru!” Satoru exclaimed as he ran towards Geto. As he did he made sure to turn and give you a wink before running off towards his best friend.
Satoru tackled Geto and the two of them began wrestling in the ocean. This made you roll your eyes as Shoko laughed. The rest of the day consisted of you and Shoko talking under the umbrella talking and enjoying each others company. And occasionally going to the beach and making sandcastles. The boys spent the day playing in the water and making a sand fort. Nanami and Haibara took a walk down the beach with Haibara talking Nanami’s ear off, not that he minded. All of you enjoyed your time so much that when it was finally sunset, it had felt like the day had passed quickly.
“We should probably get going soon.” Shoko groaned.
“Yeah, or else Yaga is gonna be on our ass for being late.” You sighed dreading going back to school.
“Ha, not you with your perfect grades and all.” She teased putting away her beach stuff.
“Oh hush.” Responded.
As you and everyone else were putting away your stuff, you noticed Satoru missing from the bunch. You looked around only to see him standing in the ocean looking like he was staring off into the distance. He looked sad, almost melancholy. Your heat skipped a beat and before your brain had any say, you walked up to him. You then stood next to him looking up at his expression. He still hadn’t turned to you but you soon felt his hand grasp yours. You let this happen wanting to feel his warm hand on yours too. You both enjoyed the warm and comfortable sounds of the ocean with the waves crashing softly against your knees.
After a little while, he turned his head in your direction as a small smile appeared on his face. He couldn’t help but look at you. To him you were simply beautiful and someone he looked up to. You were strong, brave, and kind. However, you never boasted your power like he did. Instead you were humble about it and always congratulated others on their achievements without even a drop of envy. You were someone he dared admit that he really liked. And he was so glad that you agreed to come here on this beach trip with him. He then sighed gathering enough courage within him to ask you something that had been plaguing his mind for months.
“Y/n..” he dragged out feeling nervous
“Yes Satoru?” You asked with sweetness lacing your voice. This made his insides turn to mush.
“I’m sorry if this is forward, but would you like to date me?” He asked feeling relieved that he finally got those words out. You paused for a second taking in the question he asked as your chest filled with a warmth that only he seemed to ignite within you.
“Yes.” You replied simply. As you turned your head to him squeezing his hand softly as you did so. You then smiled at him giving him a loving gaze that made him give you one back. “What took you so long?” You teased to which he rolled his eyes playfully.
“To be honest, you make me nervous. You’re strong and your confident. And that’s super sexy.” He teased back wiggling his eyebrows
“Oh shut up.” You replied
“Oi, lovebirds we gotta go!” Yelled Geto from a distance.
“Shit.” You both muttered at the same time.
You both the began walking hand in hand back to the van. However, with a sudden burst of confidence, you swiftly turned around wrapping your arms around Satoru’s neck. His expression was a mixture of excitement and shock. You then pressed your lips against his, piling him closer to you. Satoru wrapped his arms around your body pulling you closer too as he reciprocated the kiss adding even more passion. His lips were addicting to say the least abc you wished that you had more time to savor him. Satoru felt the same as he brought one of his hand ups to your face caressing it slowly. You then broke the kiss feeling hot from the feeling of being that connected with him.
“Are you okay?” He whispered being his other hand up to your face as he held it gently.
“Yeah, are you?” You asked putting your hands on his giving him a content smile.
“I’m absolutely perfect.” He replied
“We should be getting back not.” You said reluctantly
“Yeah, don’t want Yaga getting on our asses for being late.” Satoru said as he took your hand once again as the two of you even waking. You already missed the feeling of his large hands on your cheeks.
“True that.” You replied giving his hand a squeeze.
“I’m glad you came with us today.” He said happily.
“Me too.” You replied.
“Fucking finally.” Geto and Shoko said in unison as you and Satoru sat together in the van. A furious blush gracing both of your cheeks.
“Agreed.” Nanami sighed behind you.
“Happy for you guys.” Haibara chimed in being positive as usual.
“Thank you.” You replied to him putting your head in Satoru’s shoulder.
The drive back was peaceful and filled with hope. Despite your lives, you and Satoru were content knowing that despite the shit that you would both experience, you would have each other. As the future for you both you be tough but in the end happy…or was it?
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Thank you so much for reading!💜
Please feel free to request, comment, like, and reblog
Click here to see what I’ll write for and click HERE for my master list.
•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•
-L.W.L
105 notes · View notes
koqabear · 1 year
Text
Stuck With You
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Song suggestion: What Is It About Her?
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“Taehyun hates everything about you; your pride, your stubbornness, and the way you plague his thoughts with dangerous desires that threaten to break down his walls.”
king! Taehyun x fem! mage!reader 
Genre: enemies to enemies (but like there’s a twist), royalty!au, angst, smut, fantasy!au
word count: 7.9K
Warnings: Tons of bickering, Taehyun is condescending, jealousy, they literally hate each other, so lots of anger and fighting, mentions of TH being abusive (isn’t actually, nothing happens), manhandling, 
Smut warnings: hard dom!Taehyun, brat!mc, sub(?)!mc, dubcon(?) (omg what), hate sex wahhh, rough sex, manhandling, (again!! There’s a lot) degrading, name calling, (filthy, pathetic), biting, dry humping, binding wrists/hands, marking, knife play, breast play, unprotected sex, mocking, edging, choking, hair pulling, overstimulation, creampie
Notes: Am I incapable of writing a story under 5K? It seems so. I was listening to this damn song the entire time I wrote this and omg I’m so tired of it but it also manages to encapsulate their relationship perfectly. Hope u guys enjoy Taehyun manhandling the shit outta the reader bc for some reason it just kept happening…. I think I need to self reflect for a bit. 
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Taehyun has never liked you. 
You’re so fickle, a cocky eyesore that he can never seem to escape from— too smart, too wicked, tongue always sharpened to a point as you never knew when to avert your eyes; when to bow down to your Royal Highness. 
He cannot fathom having to spend his waking days around you— yet, fate seems to punish him in such laughable ways. 
“Your Highness,” he’s forced out of his thoughts as he is called, the title so familiar that the sound of his own name is starting to fade from memory, forced as a young child to take responsibility after his deceased father and become the person he is today. 
His every move is practiced, careful, and familiar as he regards the faceless maid before him, not bothering to turn back around as he continues his morning walk. His robes brush against the warm earth, the wind around him bringing about the early signs of spring as it sings against his skin, cooling him down as the hurried steps of the maid follow before him. 
“The mage is summoning you— I’m afraid it is important; she has summoned the royal court as well… they currently wait for your arrival.”
Taehyun’s steps cease beneath the graveled path. He says nothing, seemingly unaffected by the news as he nods his head slowly. The day was so beautiful, he finds himself thinking, chest heaving with a disappointed sigh as he turns to follow the servant. 
But of course, you had to come along and ruin it. 
✧ ✧
“Your Highness. This is not a joke.” 
Taehyun supposes he’s bad at hiding his expressions, if the way you stare him down with fire in your eyes means anything. The conference room is stuffy with the number of people that send him curious stares, unable to fathom how he could not take the current news seriously. 
“The Southern Kingdom is persistent with their threats of war— they truly believe we are the ones behind the massacre of their villages.” 
“It’s a wonder how a kingdom survived for so long under such a stupid ruler, isn’t it?” Taehyun heeds no warning from your words, sighing as he looks out the window and observes the lovely day before him. “I might go hunting today, what do you think?” 
Your hands that slam down on the wooden table startle everyone but him; you’re standing, eyes narrowed dangerously as you leer at him from the other side of the long, rectangular conference table. 
“I think you’d be stupid to not act on these threats immediately.” You grit out, jaw clenched as you take in the way the King seems to be unbothered by your insults. He simply shrugs, sparing a glance to the head guard before he’s leaning back in his seat, closing his eyes as his hands remain folded neatly in his lap. 
“Yeonjun,” he drawls, peeking at you through lidded eyes as he speaks, “what do you think?” 
He doesn’t miss the way Yeonjun sits up in his seat in surprise, adam’s apple bobbing before he’s clearing his throat, gaze averted as he speaks to his King.
“Your Majesty,” he begins, a hand on his chest as he stares at the dark wood of the table, “I think it is best for us to clear our name. A war during these times would set back our countries drastically.”
Taehyun hums, nodding his head in recognition. “You’re right. I want you and a few of your men to investigate those villages; be discreet, I don’t want you to be traced back to us if you get caught.” 
“Someone arrange a meeting with the Southern Kingdom’s royal mage— I must speak to them, it is urgent. And you,” it is no surprise when Taehyun’s eyes meet yours, pausing to regard your disgruntled state. “Stay. I must speak to you privately.”
There’s nothing you can do but grit your teeth and plant your stance as everyone scatters out of the room— afraid of the King’s anger, of the way his jaw clenches with annoyance. His eyes never leave yours, yet the heat that radiates from his gaze almost burns up the room, everyone’s gazes planted to the ground as they bow meekly to him before they exit. 
It’s just you and him now; Unfortunately, you think, bracing yourself for another scolding from your arrogant King. 
“That was no way to speak to your Ruler.” 
It feels as though you’re on fire; it takes everything within you to compose yourself, fists clenched tightly behind your back as you narrow your eyes at his words. You hate it— you hate him with your whole being. The way he seems to be unbothered, tired eyes fluttering shut as he leans back in his seat, a deep sigh escaping him as his lips part tiredly. 
“My Ruler only pays attention when you scream in his face, it seems,” you seethe, ignoring the way his eyes snap open to give you a cautioning glare, “he’s a very arrogant man.” 
He huffs out a laugh, but there’s no amusement behind it all. Slowly, he stands, his robes fluttering with his movements as he looks down at you angrily— if there’s one thing that will always cloud his mind, it’s his pride. 
This same pride prompts him to walk to you, dangerous and slow, warning you to tuck your tail and apologize; you’ll do no such thing, your gaze only sharpening more with every step he takes closer to you. You’re restless, resisting the urge to lash out again as your tongue sharpens against your teeth; lips screwed tightly together, jaw clenched as you wait for him to do something, anything— hit you, yell at you, dismiss you— but he does none of the sort, coming dangerously close to you as he observes you curiously. 
It’s silent; you’re practically sharing the very air you breathe, both of you waiting for the other to break as you meet his gaze, refusing to look away for even a second. 
Taehyun takes a moment to observe you; your eyes, angry and restless, sharp as they dig into his own. You’re tense, your body practically ready to shake as you keep your jaw clenched, lips pursed together as you hold back another nasty jab directed at him. 
You’re like a puppy; all bark and no bite, unable to truly stand up to him in fear of treason— you need this job, your only source to provide for your family in the far-off village you came from. He could dismiss you, break you, watch as you beg him for forgiveness in fear of putting your family at risk— the idea is dangerously appealing to him, the thought of finally having you at his feet making his lips twitch in amusement.
Taehyun holds your life in his hands, and the realization of it sends a deadly lick of fire through his body. 
“How cute,” he mutters, watching the way your brows twitch in anger at his comment. 
“For a second, I almost let your words get to me.”
The comment does more damage than any other strike ever could— because for a second, Taehyun’s gaze almost softened, the smile that grazed his lips more frightening than any threat he could muster. 
A sharp shiver wracks through you; bitterly, you realize that Taehyun managed to gain the upper hand over you once again.
✧ ✧
The first time he dreams of you, Taehyun is terrified. 
He wakes up in distress, an ache forming between his eyes from the pure confusion and anger that overtakes him. He lets out a shaky sigh as he sits up, sinking back into the soft pillows of his bed; his whole body trembles, disoriented and in denial as he attempts to block out everything his traitorous mind conjoined up.
But it doesn’t work. His day is ruined, his mind flashing images of the scenario that manages to haunt even his waking hours. 
In the morning, he makes his way to the garden; fresh air will do him good, he figures, the cool air and floral scent that drifts through the wind calming his beating heart. But then, his fingers caress the petals of his favorite roses— ruby red, the color stunning to his eyes— and he finds himself touching the velvet of your skin, your bare hips and warm thighs that encase him, alluring and soft as your precious lips are reddened and mischievous; swollen, begging for more as his teeth sink on the soft flesh like he was born to do so. 
He’s quick to exit the garden after that. 
His afternoon isn’t much better, his mood sour after dealing with countless meetings and petty problems— he’s exhausted as he leans back into his throne, a distraught sigh escaping him as allows himself to shut his eyes for just a moment— then he’s back to the dreaded memory of you, cute and pliant as you shift restlessly in his lap; your face flushed, hair and clothes a mess as you weakly beg for him to touch you, to please you. 
The moment his name leaves your lips, whiny and desperate, is the moment he jumps up from his throne. 
Taehyun. 
The sound is so realistic, haunting his mind as the ghost of your whine echoes through his ears; it follows him relentlessly, leaving him in distress as he wonders what a dream like that could possibly mean. 
By the end of the day, Taehyun feels as though he may lose his mind; he’s unable to stay in one place, his mind inevitably wandering back to you if he doesn’t find something that takes away his full attention. He’s a mess by the time he’s wandering the corridors, ready to go back to his room as his eyes land on the last thing he would ever want to see. 
You’re so relaxed, a smile gracing your face as you converse with Hueningkai, one of Captain Yeonjun’s guards, the two of you so close and giddy that Taehyun can’t help but stop and watch. 
He’s never seen you like this; he’s never bothered to either, but something about the way you lean into Hueningkai so closely, unafraid to enter his space as the two of you whisper coyly to each other, is enough to have Taehyun bristle up and walk away. 
The emotion is ugly and dreadful as Taehyun shakes his head, a heavy huff leaving him as he beelines straight to his bed— the same bed where he had you under him, your breaths brushing his skin as you panted desperately for more; the very bed where he kissed you until his lungs burned, pressing you into the bedding until your bodies melded together. 
Angrily, Taehyun resists the urge to abandon his bed and stay in another room; even now, you seem to haunt him ‘till his wit's end. 
✧ ✧
The second time Taehyun dreams of you, he’s more frustrated than terrified. 
He sincerely thought it had all been bad luck; his unfulfilled needs melting with his hatred for you, an unlucky concoction as his mind conjured thoughts unspeakable. It had all been nothing but a fluke he hoped, but as he stares out the window and into the scenery of his land, he can’t help but remember the way he had you pressed up against this very glass, his lips unrelenting against your neck as he whispered words that had you crying and begging for more. 
As he writes to other kingdoms, he finds himself staring at his hands; the same ones that had a bruising grip on your hips, bunching up your garments as he pressed himself firmly against you— he can recall the way you melted under his touch, compliant and needy as you let yourself be ravished by him. 
The you in his dreams doesn’t compare to the one that haunts his waking hours— only, in a much more horrid way, as he finds that his temper with you has decreased into something minuscule. He sees it in the way you tense when he so much as enters the same room as you, the rest of his servants sparing you a pitied glance before they duck their heads before him; afraid, meek, and unsure of what he may do to you or anyone who annoys him. 
But even though his patience with you has withered thin, you still find it in yourself to whip him with such insults and humiliations, unafraid of the consequences as you continue to look Taehyun boldly in the eye. 
He could have you disappear with a snap of his fingers— yet, time has ruthlessly shown him that you’re a more valuable asset than he once thought. No, he can’t get rid of you even if he wanted to— his mage, the best in the land and the only one that could ever manage to put up with him. 
The thought of being stuck with you is vile. 
✧ ✧
By the nth time he dreams of you, Taehyun firmly believes that it is no longer an accident. 
You’re a mage— why didn’t he think of this sooner? The blood in his veins is coursing with fire by the time it all connects, his steps rough and brisk as he makes his way to the place where it all started; the dreadful doors of the meeting room greet him, cracked open to insinuate that someone opened them already. 
You’re scared stiff when the doors slam open; whirling around, you’re left face to face with the very man you’d rather not be left alone with, the doors swinging back shut behind him. You’re nervous, a lump in your throat forming as the fire and anger you always find igniting when you see him dissipates, feeling as though water had been dumped on it. 
That very water manifests itself as Taehyun; there’s something different about him, something serious in the way he stares you down, eerily silent and angry as he storms toward you. You feel a witty remark bubble up in your throat, but you’re forced to push it down as you take in the way he’s teeming with rage, unpredictable and unstable as he makes his way to you.
He towers over you, his robes furling around him as his hand presses firmly to your chest; presses against your heart, nervous and quick as he continues to walk, forcing you to stumble back from the brute strength he possesses— the air is practically knocked out of your lungs from how hard he pushes you against the wall. 
“You did this,” he says, eyes narrowed in distaste as he takes in the way you look up at him in confusion, daring to feign ignorance that only angers him more, “you evil wench, how dare you do this to your King?” 
Your eyes widen at his words; he can feel the way your heartbeat is unrelenting against his palm, your hand swatting him away as you grow defensive. The back of his hand stings from the slap, a fire spreading from the very place you touched him; he can’t help but cradle his hand close to his chest, offended at the way you disrespect him so, even when his warning gaze is searing onto your skin. 
“You speak nonsense,” you spit out, brows knitting together as you look at him with pure offense, “for I have no idea of what you allude to.” 
He can’t help but let out an incredulous laugh; even now that he has you cornered, you dare lie to him— even worse, he’s forced to step back, the images of the nights where he would dream of you flustered and pressed against the wall coming back to the forefront of his mind.
He can’t control himself, the carnal and disgusting thoughts plaguing his mind as rage fills his being; he’s backing away before he does anything drastic, the images flashing through his mind as a rough fist collides onto the table behind him. His eyes are shut tight, teeth gritted together as he seethes, ignoring the way you stand back, pressing yourself against the wall in confusion. 
“This—“ he says, huffing as he opens his eyes, meeting yours before he can help himself— and there you are again, pleading for him to use you until he no longer can— “These cursed thoughts, you did this to me—!” 
He feels weak in the knees as he looks at you, his mind running off to places they shouldn’t as he attempts to ignore the intrusive thoughts; you’re still, unsure of what to do as you watch your majesty slowly lose composure. 
Jumping, you’re reduced to the very person you were when you arrived at the palace; meek, useless, and afraid as he runs to you, grabbing ahold of your shoulders and tossing you around until your hips meet the back of the very table he was once leaning on; he’s leaning you back, your arms forced to support yourself as his fingers dig roughly into your shoulders, towering over you as he scowls menacingly. 
“Undo this,” he says, exasperated and breathy as he becomes reminiscent of the nights when he would toss and turn in bed, forced to confront all of these imaginations that included you, pliant and needy under his touch. His eyes screw shut, teeth gritting together as he refuses to look at you, “undo this wretched spell this instant!” 
His grip is bruising; you yelp at the way he shakes you, never seeing him this desperate and angry as a hand reaches up to push against his chest; but it’s useless, his strength outdoing yours easily as he growls at your weak attempt to run away. 
“I’ve done no such thing—!” 
“Don’t you lie to me!” He’s quick to cut you off, volume raising significantly as the adrenaline begins to course through both your veins, “I know you’ve done this, this disgusting spell that haunts my nights— how dare you attempt such a thing to your king, do you have any idea what you’ve done?!”
“I’ve done nothing!” You scream, a sudden strength aiding you as you push against his chest with both hands, watching as he stumbles back harshly, his back colliding with the wall behind him— the sight is reminiscent of what he did to you moments ago. 
“Have you lost your mind?!” You say, exasperated as you watch his hardened gaze, the way his fists shake with anger at his sides, “I’ve done nothing— yet you accuse me of such— such things that you don’t even dare speak of! 
For a moment, there is only silence and the sound of your panting breaths; you hate the way your hands shake as you grip the edge of the table, gulping harshly as you take in the way he hasn’t moved a single inch. 
“I know you hate me,” you huff, jaw clenching as you pause, regaining your composure before continuing, “but you’ve gone too far. This is low, your highness, even for you.” 
“Low?” Taehyun echoes, disbelief on his face as he finally moves; he steps towards you, watching the way you begin to flee in retaliation, “you speak of being low?”
Predator and prey; you can’t help but feel as though this is all you’ve been reduced to, tense and careful as you make your way back to the door; he follows you, his pace matching yours as he allows you to inch closer to the door. 
“What’s low is the way you haunt my dreams, calling out for me like you’d die if I wasn’t near you,” your heart is thundering in your chest, bewildered by his words as you find yourself right behind the door; you’re frozen, waiting for the moment he’ll let his guard down so you can slip out and run. 
“You, you of all people,” he spits, as though the very words were fire on his tongue, “persistent—almost every night it would happen, haunting even my waking days as I was forced to turn the other way when I saw you in the corridors.” 
You don’t care anymore; it’s reckless, but you bolt for the door, adrenaline pumping through your veins as you reach for the door handle— but Taehyun is faster, a hand clamping on your wrist and tugging you back as he uses you to slam the doors fully shut, the latches clicking as the wood knocks out the air from your lungs. 
Taehyun presses against you; you’re like fire against him, and he finds himself thawed the moment he feels your body against his, the empty mold that came from his dreams as he finds his mind clouding dangerously. 
“What’s low,” he hisses, tugging you closer as his hand grips your waist ruthlessly. He’s so close, you couldn’t avoid him even if you closed your eyes— you don’t dare to, the look in his eyes fatal as he traps you in the very spell he’s found himself in. 
“Is the way you forced me to yearn for your touch.” 
Any cruel words that were hanging precariously on your tongue quickly fade away; instead, Taehyun is kissing you with an angry passion, his hand cupping your jaw and pulling you close as he presses your body into the door. His lips are rough and ruthless as they take from you, prying you open and getting the taste that he only imagined in his dreams. 
You’re left weak against him, your body automatically reciprocating as all the words left unsaid travel between the two of you. The hatred, anger, and confusion are interchanged, a groan escaping you as he bites down on your lip. 
He’s rough, not sparing you for even a second as continues to take, unable to do anything else but enjoy the way you grow stupid against his grip, the kiss harsh and messy as you allow him to be the only thing holding you up. Your knees are weak, and if it weren’t for Taehyun pressing you harshly against the door, you would’ve fallen a long while ago. 
He’s unable to hold himself back as he bunches up the fabric of your garments, bunching up your skirts before he’s able to press himself against you; the moan you let out is broken and weak, his robes fluttering around you as he smiles against your lips; your mind has emptied by now, the perfect vessel to let him satiate the need that plagued him after so many dreams— drool is beginning to form at the corners of your lips, and even as you tap Taehyun relentlessly, he refuses to pull away; day after day, he was forced to be around your excruciating presence while being forced to pretend that he couldn’t feel the ghost of your lips, couldn’t imagine the way you would sound when he hit a spot that drove you crazy.
His hips rut against you roughly; he’s unstoppable, messy moans harmonizing with your own as he reaches for your hands; his fingers lock around your wrists, bringing them up and slamming them against the wood as he delivers a particularly harsh thrust; he watches the way your face scrunches up, eyes fluttering shut as your body bounces up with him. 
The sound you let out is akin to the ones in his dreams, leading him to believe that you’re nothing but a fox, a filthy liar that attempts to save face no matter what— and it angers him more, angers him enough to leave marks and bites along the column of your throat, your whines weak and soft as you flinch at his harsh touch; your wrists bounce against his hands in protest as he bites down on your skin, tongue running on it soothingly before he moves on. 
Frustratedly, he’s met with the cloth of your top; clumsily, he gathers your wrists in a single hand— they’re above your head now, slammed against the wood so hard that you feel the backs of your hands tingling ruthlessly. His other hand fumbles with his pockets, your mind so clouded that you’re barely able to keep your eyes open for a moment. 
You grow still the moment the tip of a dagger is pressed to the underside of your chin.
“Admit to me,” he says, breathy and frustrated as the blade pokes into your skin threateningly, “admit to me that it was you, that you’re the one who cast this spell on me— that you have been haunting my dreams.” 
Even now, you shake your head in denial. But the last thing Taehyun will do is believe you, his teeth gritting together as he slices down; your mouth falls open, eyes going glassy as he cuts cleanly through the top you wear, the blade poking at your stomach as he releases your hands for just a second— long enough to slide your garments off, the fabric pooling at your feet as you’re left bare before your king. 
“Why do you still deny me,” he mutters, the knife gliding against your skin comfortably— against all the places he’s felt, a carbon copy of his dreams as he takes in every detail of you; it’s all too much for him, the heated nights he spent with you in his dreams resurfacing in his mind as his dagger tucks itself under your bra, his hand resting on your hip as your hands fall weakly onto his shoulders; he’s pressing into you firmly, the wood cool against your skin as your forehead touches his; you sigh shakily, fingers digging into his shoulders as you close your eyes. 
A sharp tug has you jolting into him, the knife slashing through the garment before it’s falling to the ground, the cool air against your breasts making you shiver. 
Taehyun feels dizzy as he takes you in; his hands attempt to memorize you, as though you would disappear into smoke if he’s not careful enough. Slowly, his hands glide up; they encase your breasts, eyes eagerly taking in your facial expressions as his fingers carefully play with your nipples— it’s odd, the way he can already feel his body telling him what to do, how to please you as your mouth is falling open, your hands clinging to his wrists as he pushes himself closer to you once more.
Carelessly, his right-hand reaches down to grab your leg; he hoists it onto his waist, roughly pressing into you as you’re pressed flat against the door. Your head falls back, able to feel the way his cock is pressing directly against your slit, a shaky moan escaping you the moment he begins to rut his hips again. 
“God— so soft…” Taehyun finds himself saying, a broken gasp escaping him as he allows his hips to take control. Your breasts bounce temptingly before him, his mouth latching onto the sensitive skin as he finds himself eager to hear the very same sounds that always echoed in his mind. He’s insatiable, groans leaving him as he sucks and bites, pretty fangs sinking into your delicate skin and leaving marks that he would make sure would last an eternity. 
None of his dreams compare to this; to the sound of you so close to his ear, a shaky hand threading itself in his hair as you finally give in to the temptation and pull him back up for a kiss; you’re a mess of spit and tongue as you beg him for more, the pleasure fogging your mind as you pull him in restlessly. 
A fire licks through his veins, the frustration you put him through suddenly resurfacing as he steps back— yet his hand remains firm on your hip, letting go of your leg and pulling you forcefully, spinning you around until you’re colliding with the table. He doesn’t stop there, a firm hand pressing down on your chest as he’s forcing you to lean back— his gaze is predatory and dangerous as he looms over you, situating himself between your legs as he allows himself to hover over you, glaring at you with such spite that you’d almost think he was getting ready to kill you— except, his fluttering touches that wander around your body speak otherwise. 
“Filthy thing, haunting my dreams then feigning innocence,” he seethes out, slipping off his robes and tossing them aside; he’s undressing before you, his cock straining against the material of his undergarment as he looks at you with nothing but rage. Even then, you have the audacity to have confusion swimming in your eyes, helpless to the way he slides you back towards him, your hips pressing together as he lets out a sharp hiss; the sound you let out is enough to distract him for a second, desperate to hear it from you more. 
“I’ve done— nothing!” You say, a cry escaping you in between your sentence as Taehyun thrusts into you roughly. He only seems to be annoyed by your response, his dagger caressing up and down your thigh as he looks at you in a warning. 
“You’re a fool, and you’re afraid to admit that I’ve done nothing wrong,” you pant, your head spinning at the way the dagger scratches against your skin, the pressure applied coming and going as he tilts his head at your words; there’s no curiosity in his gaze, only anticipation that you’ll be stupid enough to finish your thought. 
“And you’re afraid to admit that you’ve fallen for the very person you swore you hated.” 
The response is immediate; he’s slicing through the measly fabric of your underwear, the knife clattering on the table as his hand shoots up to you instead— he cups your jaw, fingers gripping it closed as you glare at him, daring him to do something reckless. 
“You plague my dreams,” he seethes, gaze full of hatred as his cock begins to rub against your folds; he’s leaking and desperate, able to feel the way you’re soaking wet for him despite barely being touched. 
“I thought of you every night. You visited me, didn’t you, you sly thing?” His tip is prodding at your entrance, teasing you by only slipping it in before he backs out, fangs sinking into his lip as he stares at you like a predator who just caught his next meal, “you wanted me to cave in and visit you, to bring all those fantasies to life.” 
“You’re a pathetic, weak little thing.” 
It’s inevitable for you to let out a laugh at that; his fingers only dig into your cheeks in response, his jaw clenching as he stares at you like you aren’t even worth his time. Yet here you are accused of a crime you never committed, pinned under the king as he looks at you with pure, unrivaled hatred. 
Smiling, you take him in carefully; his eyes, blown open with lust and frustration, his body that keens and bends to seek your touch— he calls you pathetic, yet is unable to let go of you for a second. 
“Your Highness,” you whimper out, a teary gaze and quivering lip greeting Taehyun as tears bubble up at your pretty eyes. He can only feel another hot wave of lust course through him, leaning in closer to hear your pathetic pleas.
“I don’t specialize in love spells.” 
He pulls away like a man that’s been burned; he scowls, only to find that your legs have already locked him in, a whiny moan leaving your lips as you urge him to enter you. 
“Your Highness,” you whine, shivering at the way he slowly enters you, your hand reaching up for his nape; you cling onto him, bringing him back down as you allow him to hover over you, shaky breaths intertwining with each other as he stretches you out perfectly. You feel so full, so good, velvet walls clenching around him like a vice as he lets out a shaky sigh, head bowing down and resting by your shoulder, his forearms barely able to hold him up as you let out sweet sounds just for him.
“Your Highness, I’m so honored you think of me so much,” you cry, enjoying the way he tenses against you. There you go again— unstoppable even in the most uncanny situations, your annoying quips igniting his rage as his will to put you in your place is strengthened; straightening, he grabs onto your hips, fingers digging in and massaging the soft flesh as his eyes grow cold. Scanning your body, he’s still able to take in the way you’re flushed and needy, hips attempting to move subtly to gain stimulation from him. 
His left hand leaves a bruising grip on your skin; if you think you won, you’re dead wrong.
“Honored…” he mutters, the knife pointed back at your throat as he bottoms out in you; his hips are pressed firmly against yours, but you’ve gone stiff, unable to ignore the dangerous pressure applied to your skin. Tilting his head, he tuts, his other hand reaching for the ribbon of his discarded robes; before you know it, you’ve been tied up, unable to move your wrist as they’re tied tightly together— Taehyun smiles, the pretty ribbon tied in a neat bow against your skin. The dagger is back against your throat as his right-hand guides your wrists above your head, his eyes twinkling as he takes in your weakened state.
“Yes. You should be.” 
You can’t help the way you flinch as Taehyun raises the knife threateningly; your eyes screw themselves shut tightly the moment he’s bringing it down, the velocity so intense your heart stops for a second.
The sound of impact from the dagger is heard throughout the whole room. 
A shuddering sigh leaves you— it’s sunk deep into the table, uselessly looking up as Taehyun’s condescending laughter reaches your ears; you try looking up to see where the dagger may have been placed, but it’s no use. Shifting, you go to move your wrists back down. 
Only you can’t move them at all— they’re stuck in place.
Your lips are left open in surprise as Taehyun begins to fuck you with wild abandon, the need to have you a mess under him plaguing his mind as his hands grip onto your hips fiercely. He’s rough, relentless, and cruel as you cry out, unable to ignore the fire that ignites in your stomach as he brutally thrusts into you. 
Your eyes are fluttering shut as the feeling of your body rocking to his thrusts makes your head spin, your hands clenched in a tight fists as you bring your arms close together; your eyes open in alarm, meeting his gaze as your arms brush against the sharp blade of the dagger, scratching your skin as he grins at you teasingly. 
Taehyun doesn’t know how to identify the torrents of emotions that course through him; you look better than any dream he’s been haunted by, your eyes softened and filled with lust, your curves and skin warm under his palms as your thighs ensnare him, luring closer as your cunt only pulls him in more; the sounds of skin on skin fill the room, his needy sounds mixing with your own as he watches the way your breasts bounce with each rough thrust, his tip kissing your cervix and your skin blossoming with marks he inflicted onto you from rage. 
You’re here under him, bound and begging for more. You’re so soft, intoxicating, and frustrating as he finds himself unable to keep his hands off you, his mind wandering to the countless images and scenarios he can finally fulfill with you. 
You’re so warm and tight; Taehyun has to slow his hips as he feels the way you begin to keen and cry, your hips bucking up as your gaze meets his— it’s demanding, entitled yet still innocent as you’re brought closer to your high. 
But he won’t allow you— not as long as you continue to deny him, to deny the way you’ve been calling for him from the very start. There’s something else, and he knows it; his body is eerily attuned to yours, able to tell what you’re feeling and how to please you from the very moment his lips crashed against yours. 
“These dreams,” he pants, gritting his teeth as his nails dig into the delicate skin of your hips, “what do they mean— what have you done to me?” 
“I told you— I’ve done nothing—!” The whimper that escapes you is weak and defeated as his hand encases your throat, leaving you lightheaded as his hips begin to roll curiously; it’s instinct, and Taehyun doesn’t know how he does it, but he’s quickly able to find the spot that has your mind emptying, bound hands thrashing above your head as you cry for more. 
“What dreams?” You manage to say, exasperated as his hips still, the feeling of his thick cock pulsing inside you driving you mad and making you lose yourself. You’re truly clueless as to what Taehyun speaks of, your eyes struggling to remain open as his hold on you remains. 
“Dreams,” he begins, his hand leaving you as you gasp for air— his hand trails down, caressing the column of your throat before his fingers tease along your chest, along your stomach before he finally finds his place at your clit; his fingers as teasing and calloused as they rub meticulous circles along the bud, the pace and pressure eerily similar to that of your own, knowing better than anyone how to pleasure yourself on nights where you dare to let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t.
“Dreams of you. Here, under me, just as you are now— begging for me to touch,” his hips are moving again, your brows furrowing as you bite your lip desperately, “to please.” 
Leaning down, his lips hover over yours, his gaze one of pure fire as he pulls you closer to him, arms wrapping around your waist as he presses you tightly against him; chest against chest, the slight tug he does to bring you closer making the fabric of the pretty ribbon rip slightly. 
“Dreams where you beg me to ruin you.” 
His words are filthy as his lips are planted firmly against yours; desperate and rough as he doesn’t adhere to your pleasure, his cock filling you so nicely as the feeling of his body pressing against yours like a fire that continues to pull you in. 
A small yelp leaves you as Taehyun grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling you back as you’re forced to stare at the ceiling, his undeniably soft hair tickling your face as he proceeds to whisper things that make your blood run cold. 
“You’re there, in my dreams as you beg for me to ravish you at any given moment,” he growls, unable to hold back the memory of it all as his frustrations pile up and tumble out through his tongue, “filthy little thing— in my gardens, the corridors, my bed.” 
Your heart pounds at his confessions; your nails dig into the palm of your hands, the images jumping into your mind so vividly you’d almost think you lived through it all already. 
“My throne,” he groans, biting at your neck as his hand wanders around your body.
“Begging me to touch you here,” his fingers ghost over the sensitive flesh of your breasts, “crying when I do this,” the sound that leaves you is inexplicable as he times a perfectly calculated thrust into your sweet spot, abusing the sensitive area as he watches the way you melt under him, just as expected as he finds himself scowling at you. 
“Everything you begged me to do, I remember it perfectly,” he mutters, your eyes tearing up as you feel his fingers play relentlessly with your clit, “don’t you?” 
You’re terrified of what this means; these dreams that have plagued you as well, a hidden and dirty secret you wished to hide more than anything. You remember it all, the way he pleased you like no other, able to read his emotions perfectly as you did the same; every day you were forced to live with the shame and denial of these occurrences, obligated to face him and pretend like you hadn’t been calling his name out desperately the night before— only, it seems he had done the same this entire time. 
What could this mean? The possibilities swim through your head, yet you refuse to come to a conclusion as you feel the way Taehyun only grows rougher with you, still waiting for a response as he feels the way you grow needy and desperate for him. 
It’s terrifying to see how attuned he is to you— because he’s quick to pull away just as you were about to be pushed over to the edge, left to be nothing but a sweaty and needy mess as you whine weakly for him to stop being cruel. You’re helpless, the slick feeling of your wetness spreading all through your inner thighs driving Taehyun insane as he watches the way you weakly struggle against your binds. 
He’s doing no better than you— but he can control it, even as you clench tightly around him in futile attempts to bring him closer to the edge. Yet his voice is traitorous against him as he lets out a weak groan, unable to ignore the way his heart pounds harder at the sight of you, ruined before him. 
“You know,” he breathes out, the realization dawning on him as he watches the way you refuse to meet his eyes. But in the end, you have no choice, your face grabbed as you’re turned roughly to look at Taehyun; his gaze is intense, as though he can read your thoughts as his eyes search yours, “Damn it, you know.” 
“Tell me,” he says, desperate as you press your lips together firmly, your refusal to speak only angering him more as he sneers at you, “As your ruler, I command you to tell me.”
Shakily, your lips part— you’ve seen all this happen before, always feeling jealousy for others as you recounted every symptom, memorizing it all as you wished silently to have something like this for your own. But as you stare at Taehyun, angry and relentless as he waits for you to respond, you can’t help the way your stomach sinks with dread. 
Taehyun is able to hear what you say without you having to form a single word— and it terrifies him, his body stiffening as he takes in what you tell him.
Soulmates. 
It feels as though the fire in his heart has intensified; his body feels strange, heated and tingly as he stares at you, able to tell that you’re doing no better than him as you begin to breathe shakily. 
Taehyun thinks this might be the worst outcome of all; despite his stubborn pride, his soul begs to get closer to you, begs him to move his hips and please you as you shift restlessly beneath him— even though he’s felt nothing but hate for you on the surface, deep inside he finds himself unable to resist you.
It infuriates him.
Stuck with you, he realizes, brows furrowing as he grips your hips tightly; he’s lost all control, allowing his soul and instinct take over as he watches the way you fall apart beneath him— it’s horrible, feeling the way his heart speeds at the way you desperately beg for more, attempting to cling to his facade he’s kept up for so long; these feelings he’s suppressed for so long, that he thought he was insane for having, were meant to be after all— he’ll never get rid of you. 
“Fuck,” he stutters, gulping as his hands automatically go to keep you close, hips snapping ruthlessly into you as he finds himself addicted, your perfect sopping cunt bringing him back in and making him lose all control, “so… so good.” 
It’s all falling apart; everything he worked so hard to keep up is tumbling down, out of his control as this new realization seems to tug his soul closer to you— he finds himself addicted, a curious thought nagging at him as he leans down to taste your swollen and bitten lips, the same that reminded him of the roses in his garden he so meticulously ordered others to care for.
He’s everywhere; his hands, his lips, his cock, so overwhelming in the best ways possible as you find your mind blanking out. 
Soulmates, you think, eyes shutting tightly as he continues to fuck you into the table, rocking roughly as your arms become sore from their awkward position, soulmates… yes. You become more open to the thought, his touch suddenly intoxicating as it all becomes less than enough, the need to have him so impossibly close tugging at your mind. 
“Say,” he starts, gulping roughly as he finds himself unable to concentrate, “Say my name. Call out for me.” 
You’re in too deep; both of you are, breaching unknown territory as he hungrily waits for you to follow his commands. You’re unsure what to do, voice shaky and breathy as you finally muster the courage to call him by the only name you ever have. 
“Your highness…” you breathe out, watching as he shakes his head in denial; he’s insistent, the sudden need to fulfill this very last memory that haunted him every waking second much stronger than before, his gaze piercing as he hovers over you, lips brushing against yours as he mutters quietly. 
“My name.” 
It’s instinct, your eyes meeting his as you feel your high approaching, intense and heavy like a wave as you arch your back, pressing firmly into him as your eyes shine with tears, as though you could melt into one soul if you tried hard enough.
“Taehyun.”
The name feels like an aphrodisiac on your lips; Taehyun must feel the same, for he finds himself crashing down at that, the sound of your sweet whine not comparable to the pathetic echoes that faintly haunted him during his waking days. He’s a shaky, shuddering mess as he allows himself to kiss you through it, continuing to fuck you even though he fills you with countless spurts of his hot cum. You groan, thighs shaking as you feel the way his pelvis rubs onto your clit, still managing to bring you to the edge as you clench around him tightly. 
Your moans mix into each other, bodies pressed so tightly together that you don’t know where he ends and you begin; it’s strange, the way you feel so at peace even as he overstimulates you, hips rocking relentlessly with every broken moan of his name you let out.
You can’t get enough of it— it feels like candy in your mouth, the feeling of him smiling slyly against your lips alarming as the weight of everything begins to weigh down on you. It seems like hours before Taehyun finally straightens, watching as a ring of his cum has formed on his shaft, a weak groan escaping him as he takes in the way your inner thighs are painted with it prettily. 
Slowly, his hungry gaze meets yours; then he remembers everything, jaw clenching as he wonders just how this all came to be. 
He hates it, the way his heart calls to you despite the frustration that consumes him when he looks at you— he hates the way you make him feel weak; even now that you’re bound and left at his mercy, you don’t seem to realize the way you have him wrapped around his finger.
He gulps, the lump in his throat heavy as he watches your pretty eyes, all glossy and fucked out, much better than anything he could have dreamed of as he feels his cock twitching inside you once more. 
Everything he ever feared came true— it seems you’ve become his fatal weakness.
His soulmate. 
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rubberfuckey · 1 year
Text
around again - rafe cameron
summary: exes reconnect at a party at tannyhill (: (: smut!!
wc: 2.1k
masterlist
talk to me
Walking through the club and out to the golf course, Rafe was completely zoned out as Topper and Kelce talked about the party they were throwing tonight.
“Rafe, seriously man, are you gonna hit that tonight?” 
Topper’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he rolled his eyes, “What are you assholes talking about?”
“Stephie, bro, she’s basically been throwing herself at you since you and Y/N broke up.”
Topper cringed as he watched Rafe’s face drop at the mention of his breakup. He shook his head and kept walking towards the green. 
“What? Can’t get it up anymore?” Kelce laughed. Rafe took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. He could still get it up, in fact, it happened quite often. Usually by himself, in the dark of his room, thinking about you; how wet you got for him, the noises you would make, how you clenched around him like you were made perfectly for each other. He didn’t want anyone else, you had successfully ruined him for any other girl. Topper stopped Kelce from going any further, feeling bad for Rafe, he thought he could relate with his Sarah situation but he had no idea. Rafe was heartbroken, sleeping around wouldn’t make it any better. 
“Can you both shut the fuck up and just hit the balls? Jesus Christ.”
The rest of the game went by quickly. Rafe played like shit, and Topper and Kelce made fun of him for it. He threw his clubs down and walked into the bar area to get a drink, keeping his head down. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, would you come to their party tonight? Usually, you wouldn’t miss a party, but things have been different lately. It was almost as if you two were galaxies away instead of a few streets over on Figure 8, he hadn’t seen you around since the breakup. He checked your social media obsessively, looking for any hint of what you’ve been up to since you left his house for the last time but you must’ve hidden your stories from him. He had half a mind to ask Topper or Kelce to see if they were blocked but he couldn’t bring himself to give up his pride. He left them at the club without another word and went home to shower and get ready to have a shit ton of drunk teenagers in his house. It was pretty much routine for him at this point to stand in the shower, the water running over his shoulders as he jerked off at the thought of you, he finished quickly and washed the sweat off of his body. He sighed, he felt absolutely pathetic and just wanted to text you but he knows he can’t do that. 
-
He sat in a chair outside, not really paying attention to the conversation going on around him. His eyes scanned the party and he sighed, giving up on the thought that you would show up here. He got up to get another drink when Stephie stopped him on his way to the kitchen. 
“Hi, Rafe!” She said in an annoyingly high-pitched voice.
“Hey, Stephie,” he sighed, hoping she would get the point. Of course, she didn’t. She walked closer to him, placing a hand on his forearm as she leaned in to talk over the music.
“You threw a great party!”
“Yea, thanks.” He nodded shortly, he didn’t want to be rude but he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea.
“Rafe, you’re single, right?” She smiled up at him innocently.
He shook his head quickly, “I mean, I guess, yeah. Not really looking for anything, though.”
He looked over the top of her head, looking for any excuse to leave the situation when he caught eyes with you. You were standing next to your friends, looking like a deer in the headlights as you watched Stephie run her hand up and down his arm. 
“Rafe, did you hear what I said?”
He snapped his head back down to her, he hated the way she said his name.
“Sorry, what?”
“I was saying, I have a proposition,” she started.
“Yeah, Stephie, look I’m sure you’re great but I’m really not interested. Sorry.”
She dropped her hand, looking disappointed, “Not over Y/N, huh?”
“No, not in the slightest,” he shrugged, what was the point of lying?
“Well, good luck with that,” she laughed lightly, walking away from him quickly. He looked back up, but you were gone from where you stood. Great, he thought. He walked into his kitchen, going for his favorite drink that he kept hidden away from everyone else. He stopped in his tracks, not expecting anyone else to be there, he made sure it was known that it was off-limits to the general public. It was dark, so all he saw was the outline of a person. He flicked the light on, ready to kick them out before you turned around and he saw you standing there, wiping a tear out of your eye quickly trying to hide it.
“Oh, it’s just you.” 
He tried to play it cool but it felt as though all the wind was knocked out of his lungs at the sight of you. 
“Yea, sorry, too many people out there, I’ll leave though.” You sniffed softly.
“No, Y/N, you’re fine. Stay.”
You nodded and grabbed the bottle you know he came in here for, handing it over to him without saying a word. He smirked, you knew him so well.
“Shouldn’t you be with Stephie?” You cringed at your words, you didn’t mean for them to sound as jealous as they did.
“You’re crazy if you think I want Stephie,” he paused, “You’re crazy if you think I want anyone in the world but you.”
You looked down, hugging yourself, something he knew you did when you were feeling anxious.
“I’m glad you’re here. I missed seeing you around.”
“I shouldn’t have come,” you shook your head defensively.
“Then what are you doing here?” He asked.
You shrugged, not having an answer to that question. 
“Do you miss me as much as I miss you?” He whispered, you almost didn’t hear him. 
“Probably more,” you shrugged. 
“Then what are we doing wasting time?” He questioned, taking a few steps closer to where you stood. 
“Oh my god, Rafe, will you stop with all the questions?”
“Baby, I feel like I’ve been going insane every day since we broke up. I’m bound to have questions.”
He walked even closer, trapping you between him and the kitchen counter. It was almost impossible to breathe as he took over all your senses. He leaned down, staring at your lips, it wasn’t hard to guess what he was thinking. You swallowed hard, if you don’t break the silence you’re going to kiss him.
“Rafe, come on. We can’t do this. We broke up for a reason,” you whispered.
“Yeah? What reason was that?” He whispered back, huskily.
“I forget,” you bit your lip as you watched his tongue trace his bottom lip before he pulled you in for a kiss. You gasped and threw your arms around his neck. He grabbed your hips, pulling you as close to him as physically possible. You whimpered into the kiss as he grabbed your ass roughly and pushed his tongue past your lips at the same time. You felt your knees go weak at the taste of him, he was all-encompassing and you were overwhelmed. Pulling his hands away from your ass, you pulled him to follow you towards the stairs. He chuckled to himself at the thought of how everything is working out for him. You turned around and looked at him, smiling back at him. He smacked your ass harshly from where he was behind you on the steps. 
“Rafe!” You gasped, with a laugh.
You practically ran down the hall towards his bedroom, him chasing after you. He caught you before you could open the door and picked you up and spun you around, kissing all over your face and neck. You reached behind you and turned the doorknob so he could walk through it. He kicked it closed with his foot, reattaching your lips in a searing kiss. He walked over to the bed and laid you down on it him right on top of you. Your legs didn’t unwrap from around his waist until you started pulling each other’s clothes off quickly. He ran a finger over the waistband of your underwear, and you bucked your hips, too impatient for any teasing.
“Needy, huh?”
You just nodded quickly, and he slowly rubbed your clit making you moan in surprise. You reached for his dick to feel him through his boxers before you pulled his underwear. He looked down to watch you as you bit your lip and spit in your hand before jerking him off. He groaned and used a hand to grab at your throat making you gasp. He used his other hand to continue fingering you, you were already dripping onto the sheets below you. 
“Rafe, fuck me,” you whined.
“What’s the magic word?” he teased.
“Please?” You looked up at him with a pleading look in your eyes that he couldn’t say no to. 
“Good girl,” he tightened his grip on your throat as he lined himself up and slowly pushed his way into you. 
“Fuck,” you both said at the same time.
“Jinx,” you laughed. He thrust the rest of the way inside, wiping the smile right off your face as you gasped. He was unrelenting in his movements, desperate to feel you soak him, gripping him like a vice. The only things that could be heard in the room were your soft moans and whimpers, and the sound of skin slapping skin. He flipped you over and bent you over so he could hit it from the back, wrapping his hand around your hair, and pulling you up so your back was against his chest. You nearly screamed at the new angle, causing him to move his hand from your hand to your mouth to muffle your cries, his other hand making circles on your clit. Expletives escaped your mouth and tears were running down your face before his hand moved from your mouth to slap your ass and push you back down. Your head was buried in the pillow, grabbing at the sheets. He had both hands on your waist, moving you roughly against his dick. He groaned and flipped you over again. 
“Wanna watch your face while you cum all over my dick, pretty girl.”
You cried and shook your head eagerly. He stuck his index and middle finger into your open mouth and went back to your clit with the other, your eyes struggling to stay open. 
“Come on baby, cum for me.” He panted, feeling close to his orgasm too. You clenched around him as he sped up. He dropped his head into your shoulder, panting in your ear. His sounds of pleasure were enough to send you over the edge as you felt every muscle spazz, tightening and contracting uncontrollably. He groaned at the feeling, cumming right after you, pumping every drop inside of you. 
“Shit, Rafe,” you panted. He breathed heavily and dropped his sweaty forehead onto your naked chest, listening to your frantic heartbeat. You lay there for a few minutes in silence, before Rafe moved to make himself more comfortable next to you.
“Can we just stay here and not go back to the party?” He asked with a hopeful look in his eyes.
“You read my mind,” you smiled. 
"We should get back together," he said, nonchalantly.
"We still have our issues, Rafe, we can't just ignore them."
"No, I know. You're right. But I will do anything to make this work if you'll give me the chance."
You thought about it for a second, too wore out to argue. You sighed and nodded your head. 
"Yeah?" He said, biting back a smile.
"Yeah, fuck it," your face mirrored him until you yawned. He pulled you into him as you cuddled. You both fell asleep, sweaty limbs tangled together, ignoring the music coming from Rafe’s backyard.
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axellis · 7 days
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good morning im politely requesting people look at my post abt how the ancients see each other
under the cut some closeups + a ton of additional thoughts
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hollyberry + golden cheese are also part of the crew of 'thinking pv is a bit naive', but he's also the most emotionally intelligent out of all of them and incredibly empathetic and thats something they both respect a whole lot .
dark cacao on the flipside can see how much of a mental toll being empathetic can be
white lily seems to have the most "whole" thought of pv - which would make sense, she's been with him the longest and has seen every facet that is pv. but even still her worries that he's too trusting of her are eating away at her thoughts- as such a pv shapeshifter made of her subconscious Would be way more naive .
in my head white lily's pv would be the last shapeshifter and in order to tell the difference between them white lily would ask if he ever doubted her . the real pv would say that he definitely struggled and had been lost and confused- but ultimately trusts her above all else . vs the shapeshifter who would just say "no I'd never doubt you" .
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i didnt have room for it but i think dark cacao also recognizes hollyberrys seriousness . if you get drunk with someone enough times you'll start to piece together the really vulnerable moments you had with eachother . i think hollyberry and dark cacao have the closest relationship and im not saying this because im in love with both of them
golden cheese has a bit of a recollection issue and you can see that with hollyberry + cacao the most. golden cheese reminisces a Lot and that affects how she remembers the othera . hollyberrys is a bit of a trickier thing but in this instance golden cheese doesnt remember the braids. she knows hollyberry has a different outfit than before but doesn't pay it much mind
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you might have noticed the pattern at this point of pure vanilla having a bit of a cutesy interpretation of all the ancients. he loves his friends so much that he has a bit of a harder time being critical of them. he thinks dark cacaos seriousness/grumpiness is endearing. to be honest its partly an inverse of shadow milks interpretation of the ancients (simple and positive vs simple and negative) but that wasnt entirely intentional. just interesting to notate now that im thinking of it
hollyberrys dark cacao is a bit of an inverse also to what i was talking about with dark cacaos hollyberry . shes seen the sweeter more heartfelt side of dark cacao and that shines through to her
if it wasnt for the outfit + hair, golden cheese's dark cacao would have probably been the last shape shifter standing
and i will stand by the dragon cacao headcanon till the day i die
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golden cheese's was fun to think about bc of the little details that are different between the different shapeshifters- specifically in the neck area (bc thays the only portion you guys get to see) . dark cacaos is a bit more of a hanbok style, white lily has a turtleneck thing kind of happening, etc etc. i think pure vanilla has the most accurate idea of what she looks like .
i think white lilys interestingly enough would be the last one standing because i honestly dont think her golden cheese would even be talking with her :(( so we'd only really find out the difference when white lily's gc is forced to talk to her . white lily thinks that gc hates her and wants her gone but golden cheese's feelings are wayy wayyy more complicated. golden cheese doesn't want white lily gone she Is glad that she's back but its also hard. everything she loves is gone right now . but she's going to find a way to get it back- and if white lily can help than maybe that'll rekindle their relationship.
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the cuteification beam still reaches for white lily despite how much pv knows her . i doubt this would help with white lilys feelings that pv is being naive bc shes looking at a shapeshifter based off of pvs subconscious and that subconscious is showing so mucy nostalgia it probably hurts
hollyberry in the past probably really babied white lily + pure vanilla because she Knows theyre not eating . shes observant as hell and will always demand they have at least one bite of something in order to figure out if they're Really "not hungry".
the last one would probably land on golden cheese's bc again . her feelings are complicated and as such her subconscious would showcase that multifaceted issue of "knowing this is your friend and also knowing your friend is responsible for your kingdoms destruction".
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