#i should stop playing minecraft and write again

[fandomx3savior]

Sol X reader playing minecraft

for starters let me just say that the only experience I have writing X reader was on Wattpad many years ago so this might not be the best oneshot

Sol x reader, gender not specified

this also takes place after the arcade incident, but Sol walks you home instead of Hyugo.

You finally walk into your apartment after your experience at the arcade. Trying to calm your breathing, and stopping your trembling hands not being able to completely calm yourself.

You hear Sol's footsteps Infront of your door slowly fading into the hallway, you put your hands to your chest then turn facing the wooden door again.

Quicky opening the door gripping the cold metal doorhandle "Sol, wait" Sol turns around looking at you from down the hallway "I know fully well that today was" you sigh "well, shit, so I was hopingg" you stretch your held trembling, cold, hands Infront of you "that you could maybe stay the night".

Sol walks towards you slowly gaining momentum as he does, once Infront of you he looks down at you, his face a light shade of pink "I think that that's a terrible idea."

He says trying to not let any other emotions stem up. You grab his wrist and look him in the eyes giving your best puppy eyes "pleassse" you beg, you feel his arm relax in your hand as he sighs, the pink on his face becoming darker, "fine..". Still holding his arm, the two go you walk into your apartment.

You immediately go to grab your laptop, as you are moving things off a table to pull it out you turn slightly to Sol "you can sit on my bed it's down th-" turning, holding your laptop you notice Sol taking a seat on your bed "you left the door open" he says, rubbing himself onto the bed.

"Is my bed really that comfortable?" you ask sitting next to him, Sol pauses "yes, comfortable."

You open your laptop and turn to him "want to play minecraft together?" You ask opening a new word "sure, just let me install it again and stuff, it's been a bit since I last played", you nod as you pick survival and get the world set up.

Sol finally is all set up and the two of you enter the minecraft world sponing in a village, you run to go get some wood while Sol goes to look at the villagers "these villagers suck", you turn to look at him

"Maybe I should get some lava and torture these motherfu-"

"Sol, your mumbling, what did you say?"

Sol stares at you "nothing important" he says with a soft smile, you turn to continue to gather materials, making a crafting table

"Maybe then these villagers would actually have something good".

I wasn't too sure how to make the two of you play minecraft so let me know if you guys want a part two or not

[milawritesstuff]

Hii love can you write something on the reader playing fifa with pedri and terribly losing everytime and pedri just can't handle how adorable she gets being a sore loser.

I am reader. The reader is me. I cannot play fifa to save my own life.

Alsooo I'm the person who requested the scar fluff! So glad you liked it

A/N: I combined these two. Hope you like it.

No warning ⚠️

•••

Your subscribers had been begging for you to have your boyfriend on a livestream with you. Your game of choice was Minecraft but the only way he had agreed to come on was if you played FIFA.

The livestream started and you chose your teams. He began to smile when he got Barcelona. You had tried to play this game before with him but had failed miserably. You knew you were going to lose and it was going to be humiliating in front of everyone.

Pedri scored the first goal. He got up and cheered as if he had scored a goal at Camp Nou himself. You rolled your eyes which caused him to chuckle. -I don’t know if you guys know this but Y/N is extremely competitive.- He said into the stream. Hundreds of messages came in with people saying they had noticed you hated to lose and how you would not handle it well if he beat you.

-I like to be the best at everything that I do.- You commented as the two of you continued to play. Pedri scored again and you threw your controller to the ground. He laughed and put his face in his hands. He knew you hated not only losing but being made fun of losing and he had to make himself stop laughing.

-Here, I’ll go easy on you.- He said as you were about to score a goal. You did but did not enjoy it. You smacked him lightly on his shoulder. -Ow, why?- He said laughing. -Because now you’re going to say I scored just because you let me.-

The comments started to come in about how horrible you were in the game and you should go back to streaming Minecraft or anything else but Fifa. You rolled your eyes as Pedri read off some of the comments. -Guys, I'm sure she will get better if she practices.- You scoffed at him.

-You know I don’t like this game. And I only did it for you guys, so we could get Mr. Golden Boy here with us.-

-So it was just a bribe?- He asked.

You decided to ignore his comment knowing someone would be recording everything the two of you said. Soon enough the comments were coming in talking about how they were sure you could have bribed him in some other way.

He scored again and the match was about to end. He stood up and celebrated again. You rolled your eyes at him. - Stop acting like you’re scoring in a real match.- You said annoyed which only caused him to laugh eve more.

The match ended and you weren’t able to score any more. The two of you sat there as you read off some comments. Pedri answered some and laughed at others. You sat there scrolling through the comments with a pout on your face.

-Is she mad at you?- He read off a comment. -I’m not sure, babe are you mad at me?-

You rolled your eyes. -No.- You said coldly. He laughed. -Well, I think she may be, even if she says no.-

He waited for you to say something but you didn’t. -Amor?- He said and still no answer. The comments started to come in about how sweet he was calling you amor but you didn’t care.

-I’m not mad you guys.- You said into the camera. -But it’s time for us to leave. Subscribe, comment below, and I’ll see you guys later.- You said as you turned off the stream.

-You could have fooled me, I thought you were actually mad at me.- Said Pedri as he stood up from the chair and walked over to you. He tried to hug you but you pushed him away.

-I am mad at you.-

-But you just said you weren’t.-

You took off your headset and placed it on the desk. -I said that so they wouldn’t start the rumors that we are breaking up.-

He looked at your surprised. -Wait, we are breaking up now because I beat you in Fifa?-

You stood there pouting in front of him. -No, I mean, we’re not breaking up but I’m not very happy.- He shook his head.

-I’m sorry?- He said.

-Sorry for what?-

He laughed and scratched his head. -I'm sorry for being better at you in Fifa and beating you in front of all your followers.-

You grunted and as you were going to storm out of the room he grabbed your arm and pulled you into him.

-As beautiful as you look when you get mad, can we stop this? I’m sorry okay? Next time I’ll mine or craft with you or do whatever you want.- He lifted your chin up so you could look at him. He placed a soft kiss on your nose.

-Eres tonto.- You said and the two of you began to laugh.

-You know I love you, right? But you have to stop getting so mad when you lose.- He said. -You are such a sore loser.- You punched him on the shoulder and laughed. -Don’t push your luck Pedrito.

TAG LIST: @cinderellawithashoe @httpswiftie @simpingmyassoff @bubblebeep69 @fictional-l0v3r @httpspedri26 @0alanasworld0 @l0verl4ne @gaviypedrisbride @footballerficsposts @fashphotolife @beaschampagneproblems @jvsgnjrtpdar5stkd-tv-m @ikkehehe @jjishotasf @quemirasboboandapaya @maricciardo @gaviswh0re @pedriwifefrfr @dustell @elijahslover @formula1mount

[unforth]

There was some post by a 16 year old floating around Tumblr that was like "kids should never have devices, actually, if I was a parent I wouldn't give my kid anything until they were 13 or older" and I, a grown up with two children, know from experience... look. I did my best to keep my kids from screens. I really did. But like. I read on my phone. I social media on my phone. I play games on my phone. I always have my phone. And they see me with it and SURPRISE, THEY WANT ONE. THEY WANT TO USE IT. If mommy thinks it's cool and uses it that much, how could they NOT want one? So I added a comment to that post that said, "then you as an adult better be prepared to give up your own phone because when the kid sees you using it they're going to want it."

And I got multiple. m.u.l.t.i.p.l.e., hate-ridden replies impugning my parenting over this. To the point that I went in and deleted my comment because months and months later I'd still get some random teenager @ ing me for being tHe WoRsT pArEnT because. I am an actual parent. Accepting an actual reality. Of parenting during the 2020s. That if as an adult I have screen time, my kid is (SHOCK) also going to want screen time! And no I'm not going to *give up reading books* (when all the books I want to read are only available as e-books) just to try to stop my kid from screen time.

Adults are just as addicted. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, a problem or not, is open to opinion, but obviously: indicates: if a kid sees the parent using their time that way, the kid is going to want to do it too!

(and no, I don't scold my kids for screen time. I actually am always impressed how much I see them learning during their screen time! and we talk about it! and we play games WITH them! My wife and I both learned how to play Minecraft because my son is obsessed! And guess what he's learned to build amazing things and it's useful to him as spacial awareness and problem solving in so many contexts!)

(Sorry, I'm always a nudge away from writing a post about screen time myself and I'm apparently very talkative today.)

(I'm breaking this out into it's own post because I looked at the comments and notes on that other one and it's just as much teenagers going YEAH THOSE OLD PEOPLE ARE THE PROBLEM and I'm so fucking tired of listening to people who don't have kids tell us how we parents are going wrong when they have no idea, n.o. i.d.e.a., how hard it is to be a parent right now and how little support we're getting. I've posted about it before and I'll post about it again, if you can't offer anything other than to be YET ANOTHER PERSON screaming that parents are Doing Parenting Wrong in the umpteenth way that contradicts all the OTHER ways we get bombarded with being told we're Doing Parenting Wrong, you really need to shut the fuck up.)

[brozoner]

First thing, take all the time you need!!! Second ARE YOU OK!? HOW DID YOU HURT YOUR HAND PLAYING MINECRAFT FOR 8 HOURS STRAIGHT!?!?!? Third make it angsty! Make them have so much trauma! As long as we get cute fluff sprinkled in then make it ANGSTY!!!

a H-! Lmao xD my hands are just shit honestly either carpal tunnel or early stages of arthritis idk but I was wearing my compression glove m o s t of the time and they still managed to get a bit messed up (probably should have stopped when I started to get shooting electric pain up my hand but the grind didn't stop that night T^T) XD and O H Y E A H It's gonna have angst and fluff and all the good things in it!!! The one fic I'm working on rn (unrelated) gots angst and feels, pre breakup brozone, and some of my most favorite dialogue I've written in years (also Clay centric because that was before JD swooped in and took over my life) xD Just so excited to be getting back into writing I've gotta pace myself honestly before I burn myself out(again) XD

[sapnapmybeloved006]

Meeting dtqk for the first time + first impressions

(ALSO I LOVEEEE ALL YOUR HC😍)

THANK YOU!! I'm glad you're enjoying it🥰(This probably isn't what you were looking for but I can write something else similar if you'd like❤️)

First Impression scenarios with DTQK!! (From the streamers perspective)

Dream

For this scenario we're gonna say you're a fellow streamer and met at Twitch Con

I was happy to finally be going out with my friends, not seeing the light of day much beforehand. Me and George were walking through the con and talking to some new people, most being more streamers. At some point along the way George had wandered off to do his own thing. I didn't bother looking for him as I could just call him if I needed him. I looked around and spotted a person with the COOLEST t-shirt on. I walked up to them and started a conversation.

"Hey! I love your shirt."

"Hmm? Oh thank you! You're Dream."

"I am hehe. How's your afternoon going?"

"Busy, I've talked to so many people."

"Ugh same, so (insert fav video game) huh? Good choice good choice."

"Yeah, it's one of my favorites right now, you played it?"

"I did."

He heard your phone vibrate from you pocket/bag. You reached for it to open it and sighed.

"It's one of my friends, they're here with me and got caught up talking to someone, you want my number so we can talk more later?"

"Oh same, George and Sapnap are here too... Somewhere. Here I'll pull up my contacts."

-----------------------

Just as I stepped though the door my mind wandered back to the person at con. Holy shit they were cute, those eyes, the personality. I'm gonna text them. No wait, too soon. They were so cool though.

"Hey Dream!" George yelled from the other side of the hotel room.

"Why are you yelling, I'm just around the corner dude. What do you want?"

"My bad, you've been awfully quiet since we met back up, are you alright?" He actually sounded concerned.

"Yeah, I met a cute person at con and don't know if I should text them yet or not."

"Oouu Dreamies got a crush huh? I mean go for it man, I'm sure they won't think anything of it." George went back in his phone shortly after.

"Oh shut it loser. I will" I walked over to my bad and pulled out my phone. Shit, they already texted me.

*Hey Dream! It's Y/N :)

-Hello!! Hru??

...

...

...

They're taking a while to type?

*I'm alright, couldn't stop thinking of you for some reason haha

-Me either lol

Holy shit holy shit holy shit, they're so cute, they were thinking about me too😭😭

George

For this one, you two met at the streamer awards 😸

I had to unbutton the top of my shirt, it was getting rather warm in here. I got interviewed and went to find Sapnap again. As I turned a corner I bumped right into someone.

"Oh shit! My bad, are yo- Woah."

"Umm, it's ok, what's the woah about haha" I teased them slightly looking to meet their eyes. 'Oh shit, they're kinda pretty.' I blushed a tad.

"Oh nothing sorry, You're Georgenotfound right? I've watched you a few times during squid craft."

"Did you? That's cool, are you nominated for anything tonight?" Why is making conversation with a cute person so hard, George get it together they probably have a partner.

"No, but I heard you buddy Quackity I'd nominate for Best Minecrafter, that's cool!" They never once broke eye contact, those eyes were something I'd never forget, mesmerizing really.

"Yeah, he couldn't make it, I'm here with Karl and Sapnap though. You here with friends?"

"No, None of my friends wanted to come. I'm so glad I met someone." They giggled.a.bit before going completely silent.

"I'm sure they won't mind you tagging along. I like the outfit by the way, it fits you good. Er umm I like the pattern." Shit shit shit, George you're an idiot.

"Hahaha oh George, you're blushing. Thank you, let's go find your friends shall we?"

"Yeah, they might be in the bathroom."

As they say here with us during the ceremony I was cought glancing by Sap.

"Gogys gotta crush huh?" Sapnap elbowed me a few times.

"Oh shit it man, I mean look at them, how could you not?"

"George, I'm right here ya know." They turned a bit to look at me. "If you wanted my number you could of just asked"

Sapnap and Karl laughed at this edging me on to ask them.

"I-I guess, umm, lemme pull up my contacts, get yours."

"Got it. Ya know, you're not to bad your self 'Gogy' haha"

"Thanks hehe"

Sapnap

You guys met online, you're not a streamer in this one.

"Hello? Is anyone else using a mic?"

That's the cutest voice I've ever heard, I have to turn mine on.

"Yeah. Hello?"

"Yes finally, Hi! I've been lobby hopping trying to find someone with their mic on."

"Oh damn haha, I'm Nick, what's your name?"

"Y/N, if your cool with answering, how old are you. I'm 19."

"I like that name, I'm 21. How's your day going"

"Pretty good, you sound kinda familiar, do you stream?"

"I do actually, I go by Sapnap online."

"Oh I know that name, I don't think I've watched you directly but I've seen clips of you from that smp everywhere."

"Yeah, it's sucky having that be the only thing I'm known for but it's some good recognition."

"I bet, so, you on here often?"

Keep it together Sap keep it together, you don't even know what they look like.

"Yeah actually, umm do you have insta or snap or anything? You seem pretty cool."

"Yeah get your insta up."

I rip my phone from my pocket faster than I intended too and scrolled to insta. "Ready"

"Ok it's (username) I'm assuming yours is just sapnap?"

"Yeah I followed you. I like that shirt in the first pic."

"Thanks, you're cute Nick."

"I um.. oh thanks hehe." Oh my God, you did not, don't do that to me I'll have stroke.

"Yeah, I'll dm you later the rounds about to start, good luck!"

"You too Y/N!"

Karl

You and Karl met in high school!

I hated being a mentor for new kids, they're always so awkward and weird. I waited with the principal for them. As soon as I spotted them I had changed my mind. They had (favorite band) in their shirt and their shoes were awesome.

"Bro, your shoes are killer, I'm Karl imma be your mentor for the first few days"

"Thanks, my name's (Y/N) er you probably knew that."

"I didn't actually, Mr.Principal doesn't tell us anything important, you didn't hear that from me though"

"Got it got it." We walked over to get their schedule and I showed them their locker.

"Damn, you're in almost all my classes, that's cool"

"Am I? Which ones don't we have?"

"Our maths and chem are switched. There in the same hallway, don't worry. Same homeroom and all that though"

"That's cool. Hey Karl?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you single?"

"I- what?"

"Sorry, sorry to soon youre just kinda really cute ya know?"

"No no, it's ok haha, I'll have to take you out sometime I guess, it just took me by surprise for a sec." Oh my god, no on I've ever liked has liked me back!! Eeee

"Alrighty then. To homeroom?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

After that I got their snap and we texted constantly, they were super sweet and really funny. Best mentee ever.

Alex(the only one in readers pov)

You guys met when you were little kids🥺

"Hey (Guardian)? Why are there so many people?"

"Oh sweet thing, those are the new neighbors, why do you go talk to their son, he's just about your age I believe. His name is Alexis"

"Otay, I be back!!"

I ran across the kitchen and into the living room to fon the new frien.

"Heyo! Are you Alexis! I'm Y/N! I'm five!"

"Umm, yeh, Hi."

"How old are you Alexis?"

"sis, almost seben. Do you has a quiet place?"

"You don't like all da noise either huh? Yeah follow, my room is safe!"

"mmtay"

This kid is funny, he's so shushed and small. He's older than me too.

"this is da one. Siéntete como en casa!"*make yourself at home*

"You speak panish!"

"Sí! Sí! Not my first language but my (guardian) taught me!"

"Vats cool"

We spent the rest of the evening in my room playing and getting to know one another before he had to go. We promised we would hang out every day.

[luigi-mcdingle]

a while back, out of sheer morbid curiosity, i went back to beta version 1.7.3 of minecraft (the earliest version i could find new records of people playing) yknow, to see what was different and if it was still any good that far back it was. um. not? i mean i guess i see the appeal but i couldn't play without the ability to sprint, no end, no enchanting, no hunger? but that's just me, again i see the appeal then, again out of morbid curiosity, i upgraded to version 1.0.0, expecting a similar experience i now have 142 hours on my 1.0.0 world. | v

this version of minecraft is, compared to today's vision of minecraft, simple so many things we tend to take for granted aren't there, like stained glass, hoppers, maps, item frames, villages, horses, stone walls... you get the point

i didn't expect to put more than an hour or so into this world before going back to my heavily-modded 1.16.5 world or making a new 1.20 world, but something about it just kept me entranced there were simple goals and simple ways to reach it, but the basic gameplay was just so fun

i've always thought modern minecraft was kinda bloated, and this really cemented that feeling; we didn't need frogs or ocean monuments or horses or redstone comparators or any of the stuff that has been added since that time

yeah, it'd be nice for some of the modern quality of life features to be available like pressing ctrl to sprint or sheep being able to regrow their wool, but it's not needed minecraft became popular because the concept is perfect as is; your imagination really fuels things before i realized i was having so much fun, i was doing things i had never done before in my thousands of hours of minecraft, like building functional mob grinders, mining out slime chunks, and making elaborate redstone contraptions

(the walls of the lower room in this pic ^ are made of mushroom blocks... that i had to manually push into the room one by one with pistons because silk touch only gave solid brown mushroom blocks, no red ones) when i decided i was getting bored of this world, i went to good ol curseforge and downloaded about a hundred mods for 1.16.5 and played that... for maybe five hours, then i went right back to 1.0.0. yeah, i know, those are kinda polar opposites in terms of content and bloat, but it says something, right?

(yes that's the animal crossing train station) the one thing i ended up doing in this world that i had never done, that i honestly thought id never do, was go to the end and kill the enderdragon. yeah, in thousands of hours playing this game, i never once beat it. id always make a world, dick around for a while, then stop playing and eventually come back and start the whole process again... that or id play on multiplayer servers. remember mineplex? i should ramble about that one day...

i had known about the ending poem, especially since the whole thing with it becoming public domain (have you read the author's blog post about that situation? where he talks about how he took a bunch of shrooms in the woods and God told him what to write, and the end poem was the result?) but i never read it because... well, i just never felt like it, really. reading it for the first time after my long playthrough of this simple, fun version of minecraft that i so quickly grew to love so much was... something else. id say you should read the poem (it's available online, obviously) but it really doesn't work nearly as well without the experience of a full minecraft playthrough backing it up.

all this talk and im not really sure what my point in all this is. i guess it's something along the lines of "you don't need everything to enjoy life. limitation breeds creativity, and simplicity can bring happiness." or something. i dunno, it's fuckin' minecraft. maybe try making a new world. and having fun.

oh yeah, also i never really got that "creepy feeling" most people seem to get in these older versions of minecraft. i got a little creeped out while strip mining but that's just me not liking corridors.

[numetalpuppygirl]

what i'm listening to 4/5/2023 (song notes under cut!)

spot. link//yt link

Laura Les - Haunted: haunted. by laura les.

100 gecs - Dumbest Girl Alive: yeah there's gonna be a fair few new gecs tracks in here. dumbest girl alive is my favorite from 10k, i can't even express how much it just hits every time. i love the riff, i love the lyrics, i love the music video, i love the production, love it love it love it. i also included a minecraft parody i found when searching the video on youtube, you're welcome

Black Flag - Revenge: i've been trying to rediscover my love for some of my favorite hardcore genres, so i took it all the way back to the early days and reconnected with one of my favorite bands. i encountered this song in high school when trying to find clean black flag songs that i could put in a piece i was writing about the history of metal (which the band is not, but hardcore is significant in the history of the genre anyway). it's a great thrash-and-basher and apparently has not been in my playlist until now, which i was unaware of lol

The Beatles - Strawberry Fields Forever: once again i must admit to listening to the beetles.... alas. look it's a really good song, the lead-in to the chorus is fucking amazing, the instrumentation is really interesting and unique, it just washes over you like waves of sound. plus it's goofy as hell

Jaga Jazzist - I Could Have Killed Him In The Sauna: from the INSTANT i heard the intro of this track i was like ohhh that's going in the next WILT. i don't have a ton to say about it, just listen. it's good sounds to chew on. shoutout io

100 gecs - Billy Knows Jamie: i freaked the fuck out when i heard this track, no joke. which is funny, because i'm pretty certain they played this when i saw them last fall, but i didn't have any frame of reference at the time for whether it would sound the same on the record. i just kept thinking "they did this for ME. SPECIFICALLY" because like hello??? i'm the nu metal gecs fan!!! that's like my whole thing!!!! and this literally sounds like limp bizkit half the time!!!!! i honestly kind of wouldn't mind if the breakdown at the end had been a little more restrained, just to preserve the feeling that it's 1999 all over again, but whatever. it cums. it's also about violence and killing, so i even get a little bit of like juggalo vibes almost

Fiona Apple - To Your Love: this song sounds so sexyyyy like maybe this is out of pocket but when this came on shuffle on a singer-songwriter playlist i was browsing i literally stopped what i was doing and was just like 😳😳😳 it's insane. and like when her voice gets all growly at one point later in the track... anyway haha

Marnie Stern - Prime: found via that coolass video i reblogged a while back oh god let's see if i can find that. holy shit i can't believe that worked. i don't know anything about marnie stern but i should listen to more because prime knocked the wind out of me it's good

100 gecs - The Most Wanted Person In The United States: last gecs track... and it's more rap rock!!! kind of. did you guys catch that cypress hill sample? i sure did!!!! love itttt. plus there's more killing it's so awesome. i've already said most of this stuff to violet (hi violet) but for real i think "got anthony kiedis suckin on my penis" is one of the all-time greatest bars and i'm not joking

DJ Lycox - BILLIE JEAN (DIOR): a lot of music from people on here this month! one of my mutuals (who probably won't read this but if you do. hi :3) posted this track and i really love the original pop smoke song so i was like right what's all this then. it's good. that's what it is then

Bruce Springsteen - Born to Run: i was reading this article about bruce springsteen being a sort of icon for butch womanhood and that had me like wow i am feeling emotions right now. and so i went and listened to some springsteen and you know what he rocks. there's something so desperate and heartbreaking about his songwriting, it hits me in a real way. and i've never even been to new jersey

Ada Rook - 920LONDON: new rook album ooh yeah babey. not my fav record she's ever done but still really fucking good. this song kind of reminds me of everlong, which like. girl who's only ever listened to everlong by the foo fighters listening to her second song: getting a lot of everlong by the foo fighters vibes from this. but still it's about holding each other close and making the most of what we have in our rapidly passing time, plus the riffs are kind of similar in ways that i don't feel like fudging musical terminology to try and describe

Sarah Vaughan - Lullaby Of Birdland: cool jazz can be kind of whatever but y'know i'm a vocals girlie and sarah vaughan honestly probably deserves to be listed up there with the greats. her vocal control is insane, and the way she just drifts from her higher register to the lower and back again is hypnotic. good fucking song plus shows props to charlie parker

May Leitz - gODKILLER: another from tumblr, thanks to user bigbaywindow for directing me towards may leitz ^_^ i have been rocking with several of her songs but this was the first one i listened to and it's really good, the lyrics hit me in a certain way as well that some of you might guess. also while putting together the youtube playlist i discovered that may makes youtube videos including one that i've seen floating around my recommended page a couple of times?? so i guess i'll have to see what's goin on over there

The International Sweethearts Of Rhythm - Vi Vigor: am i like. crazy. i would have SWORN that i put this in a previous WILT but i can find no evidence of that being true. in any case this is a cool kinda bebop-inspired jazz piece by an all-woman jazz ensemble who i wanna listen to more of. there's some really great sax work on here especially, so if you're into that def check this one out

Girls Rituals - Hole/The Used: okay funny story on this one. this was the first song i ever heard from any of devi's projects, it was before i even really knew who black dresses was. this song appeared in my release radar and i was like "who the fuck is this" and i'm convinced it only happened because the title is the names of two bands which i WAS already listening to at the time. and i listened to the song and said "this is really bad, and i don't understand why anyone would listen to this." and then i mostly forgor about it. skip forward to recently - i am obviously a big fan of devi's work and plenty of other projects adjacent to this. i get a big new batch of songs in my playlist (hello again to violet shoutout violet) and this song is in here. i listen to it. it's good :) take that, me from two years ago

The Buggles - The Plastic Age: the mandatory Todd Find™ for this month. i was watching the one hit wonderland episode on these guys and honestly didn't pay attention too closely bc i was busy but this song stuck. you guys know i'm all about that campy futurey cyberpunk-adjacent shit. it would be a stretch to say this fully gets there but it's still a fun song either way

Cage The Elephant - Cigarette Daydreams: lame song honestly but the chorus is super catchy plus there's a story. when i was working my old job there was a supervisor i liked a lot who played a wide range of tunes on shift. sometimes it was chill instrumental stuff, sometimes it was metalcore, and sometimes it was like this sort of radio alternative shit. this song specifically would play a lot, as you can imagine, and at the time it annoyed me, especially because of how catchy it is, it would make me think of work. but now both that supervisor and i have left, and so now it just reminds me of vibing with them and making the most of being on the clock. a cigarette daydream indeed

Jason Segel & Walter - Man Or Muppet: i don't know, man. i've had this song stuck in my head since i was eight years old and one day i randomly thought "i wonder if that's on streaming" and it is

[undermycoat]

Bird on the Wire

Merlin Wyllt and Arthur Pendragon are office enemies, with Arthur being Merlin's boss from hell, always sending his work back to him with disapproval and disappointment. Merlin wishes for nothing more than to see Arthur keel over, and he tells OnceAndFutureKing – his best friend in the popular mobile game Excalibur Online – as much. Of course, he gets the shock of his life when he and OnceAndFutureKing finally meet, only for Merlin to discover... his online best friend is the same awful boss he's been complaining about? Merlin has managed to avoid getting fired from his job at Avalon Inc so far, but it seems his luck has finally run out.

Rating: T

Word Count: 11.6k

Full text and author's notes under the cut.

Or, read on AO3.

A/N: My gaming experience consists of otomes, osu, Minecraft, and Genshin Impact. I have no clue what I'm talking about when I write about their quests and whatnot. This fic is actually inspired by a manga, but hopefully this is different enough that it's not an exact copy...? I don't know. I just wanted to get out another fic. I feel like I've been in a rut when it comes to fic writing, so I'm just getting out what I can, LOL.

...

“I should just quit. My boss is seriously from hell.” Merlin hit send without a second thought, before a slime hopped across his path, and he raised his staff to strike it with magic. 

His companion, OnceAndFutureKing, laughed, or at least typed LOLOLOL. “That bad?” He swung his sword, the weapon making a swooshing noise as he did so. “You should quit.”

“He’s really the worst,” Merlin agreed. They stopped, and Merlin turned to King. “He makes me redo everything I submit! I can’t actually be that bad.”

“Too strict.” King swung his sword. “I say quit.”

Aloud, Merlin sighed, rolling over in bed, while his avatar stood idle. “Can’t,” he finally typed. “The pay is too good. But I still hope my boss dies, LOL.”

King LOLed again too. They continued on with their quest, reaching the next checkpoint. From the corner of his eye, Merlin watched the world chat, but it was mostly the same old same old. He looked at his HP before turning to King. “I think we can finish another lvl.”

“Yusss.” King’s avatar, a (rather cute, in Merlin’s opinion) brown bear in shining silver armour, donning a red cape, swung his sword, and Merlin bit back a smile at the habit. They’d had a lull in their questing, the levels getting suddenly harder once more, so they instead spent time doing 1v1 and completing side quests and events, but they finally racked up enough points and upgraded weapons to take out the equally upgraded monsters. Now, they ran headfirst into the abandoned castle that lay before them, ready to continue their journey.

-

Merlin tossed his phone onto the bed beside him, burying his face in his pillow and sighing. Some time spent playing Excalibur Online after the worst experience of his life – work – was exactly what he needed. King was a great partner also, good at the game and fun to talk to. They’d been playing together for about seven months and while King had originally been a complete noob, his in-game skills now threatened Merlin’s, OnceAndFutureKing always appearing next to CourtSorcererEmrys – Merlin’s username – on leaderboards. A smile took over his face as he thought about their first meeting. The little bear had been running into the next fight, sword glinting in the bright sunlight, but he would only last a couple seconds before his avatar would disappear and pop up once again at the last checkpoint. After the third try, Merlin stepped in, blocking the monster’s next hit.

“New?” he asked.

OnceAndFutureKing remained silent.

Merlin raised his staff and a bolt of lightning struck the monster dead on, a critical hit, and soon, the path opened up to them once more. “The levels get really hard, right?” He started down the path, OnceAndFutureKing still silent but following behind him. “You need to stay behind your max lvl. Fight smaller enemies or do 1v1.” Behind his screen, he smiled and added, “Noob.”

“WTF is a noob?” OnceAndFutureKing finally spoke. “Also I’m deleting this soon.”

“You’re a noob,” Merlin replied, “and doooon’t. The quest gets more fun from here.”

“Hm,” OnceAndFutureKing said. Then, “Not a noob BTW.”

“Did you google it?”

OnceAndFutureKing didn’t reply. Merlin bit back a laugh, then suggested they continue on questing together now. “I’ll 1v1 you if you need more pts,” he added.

“Ok.”

And so they went, and Merlin found himself grinning the longer they played. OnceAndFutureKing didn’t say much, but that was alright because Merlin had enough to say for both of them, like how rude the customer on the phone was or how, at lunch, the newbie spilled an entire bowl of soup down Merlin’s front, or how when Merlin went to make dinner, he was all out of the main ingredient. Finally, his eyelids were growing heavy, and he slipped up more often than not.

“It’s late,” King said.

“Yeah,” Merlin replied.

“Thx for your help.” King swung his sword, and his red cape fluttered in the breeze. “Can I add you?” Merlin agreed and added him back, and they’d been questing partners ever since. 

-

“Do this again.” Arthur Pendragon dropped the print-outs Merlin made on his desk, nearly knocking over Merlin’s tea and sending his pens rolling off his desk. “The colours don’t fit the theme and the target audience is unclear. Clean it up and try again.”

Merlin met his supervisor’s sharp eyes with a glare of his own. “Geoffrey said it was alright.”

“Mr Monmouth can barely see a millimeter from his face,” Arthur replied. “Besides, he’s not the one in charge of you and this project.” He leant in closer, so Merlin could see the varying shades of blue in his eyes. “I am.”

Merlin grumbled but acquiesced, turning away from Arthur to pull up the file once more. He heard Arthur shift behind him and then the sound of his shoes that probably cost three times Merlin’s pay on the wood floor. Merlin squinted at his computer screen before Arthur said, “And I know you enjoy doing things at your own pace, but for Christ’s sake, Merlin, remember this is a job. Send me the new design by midnight please.”

The “please” was more spat out than said, and Merlin made a face at his screen. “Yessir,” he replied, not turning around. Arthur didn’t reply, and Merlin wondered if he finally pushed the great, prattish Arthur Pendragon to the edge, but after another couple of seconds, the clicking of his shoes rang throughout the room once more. Merlin sighed, shoulders dropping, only for them to go right back to his ears when he checked the time and saw it was already six. Merlin had planned to work overtime, but not past seven, and he knew he’d be working up until the last minute on this stupid flyer. Once again, he sighed and just barely stopped himself from slamming his head into his desk.

At eleven, all the lights had been shut off, and Merlin had even turned off the lamp at his desk, finding the colours more accurate when it was just the glow of his computer screen. He leant back in his chair, legs stretching out under his desk and arms reaching above his head. When he tilted his head back, he saw another light on – Arthur’s office. The prat had his head low, curved over documents scattered across his desk, and he had a pen trapped between his teeth. 

Merlin sent him a glare, though it went unnoticed, then, when an alert popped up on his monitor, he got back to work.

Five till midnight had Arthur at Merlin’s desk, now curved over him instead of documents. Merlin swallowed as his supervisor studied the design over his shoulder. His cologne was still a strong scent in Merlin’s nose, even after a full day at the office, and Merlin was itching with the need to get out and away. Finally, Arthur took a breath and stood up straight. “Well,” he said, “it’s not terrible.”

Merlin’s jaw dropped. “Not terrible?” he cried. “It’s ‘not terrible’?” He shoved his chair back, running over Arthur’s foot in the process, making the man shout, but Merlin didn’t care, rising from his seat. “You are evil, Arthur Pendragon! I should file a complaint – I should sue you! This isn’t work! This is torture!”

Arthur was still wincing, hands fists at his sides, but at Merlin’s words, he froze, studying Merlin with a curious expression. The sudden change had Merlin stuttering mid-rant. Oh. He’d really done it this time. Arthur was actually thinking through the logistics of firing him, who would take his place, when to give him his pay, if there were any other openings needing to be filled. Okay. Merlin was fucked.

He was bracing himself for his inevitable dismissal, but all Arthur said was, “Just send me the file, Merlin. And don’t talk to me like that again. Hear me?”

Swallowing his shock, Merlin nodded quickly. “Yes, Mr Pendragon, sir.”

Arthur scoffed. “We both know you don’t mean that, so don’t call me that again.”

Cautiously, Merlin let a smile appear on his lips. “Yeah.” He took a seat once more, avoiding Arthur’s foot when scooting his chair back in, and Arthur watched as he sent him the file. “Anything else?” he asked, heart still racing just a bit.

Arthur sighed. “No, Merlin.” He placed a hand on the back of Merlin’s chair, and Merlin swore his finger brushed against Merlin’s collar, but then he pulled away, and left with a quiet, “Goodnight, Merlin,” tossed over his shoulder.

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck. “Goodnight, Arthur,” he replied, but the man had already gone back into his office, the door shut and locked behind him.

-

Work went more smoothly the next day, though it still wasn’t great, and while Arthur not pestering him was a blessing, it was at the same time awful because it was clear Arthur was instead avoiding him. Very strange. 

Merlin, of course, told OnceAndFutureKing all about it while they played Excalibur Online together. This time, another of Merlin’s online friends joined them, DruidKnight having met him a couple months after Merlin first started playing, then stumbling upon him and King while they were questing, only to make their duo a trio. DruidKnight hadn’t been online as much, busy with A levels, which both Merlin and King emphasised the importance of, though for different reasons.

“It’s just what’s best,” King had said, while Merlin put a lot of exclamation marks and said, “Succeed so you don’t have to work under a demon boss!”

DruidKnight agreed with his own round of exclamation marks.

Now, the three of them were completing a side quest. “Did u c abt the guilt meetup?” DruidKnight asked.

“?” King swung his sword.

“Are you meeting your guild?” Merlin asked. DruidKnight was their friend, but he was in a guild with a few other people. Merlin had thought about joining one himself, but he was content to play as he did now, by himself or with King and the occasional pop in from DruidKnight.

“I think so…,” DruidKnight said. “U n king should meet!”

“?” King swung his sword again.

“U guys r just rly close… and close in age…” DruidKnight waved his own sword. “U should!”

“Are you calling us old?” Merlin asked.

“Not u,” DruidKnight replied. “U r cool. But king…”

“HEY,” King said. “But I wouldn’t be against it. WBU, Emrys?”

Merlin hesitated, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

“We don’t have to,” King quickly added. “Only if you want.”

“I do,” Merlin replied finally. “I just don’t want it to mess with our gaming.”

“It won’t,” King promised. “DM?”

DruidKnight waved his sword again. “Pls dont forget me emrys….”

Merlin laughed. “OK,” he replied to King. Then, to DruidKnight, he said, “Of course not. You are my first knight!”

DruidKnight’s cape fluttered, and he waved his sword. “Yayyyyy!”

But anxiety still weighed heavy in Merlin’s stomach, even as they cleared more levels and even managed to get some rare drops from the monsters. When DruidKnight finally said he had to get some studying done, Merlin was ready to use that as an excuse to leave, but King stopped him, picking up the meetup conversation Merlin had been ready to abandon.

It wasn’t that he thought King was catfishing him, and he certainly wasn’t catfishing King, but Merlin had the worst foot-in-mouth syndrome, and King was arguably the best friend he had at the moment ever since moving away from his small hometown of Ealdor and leaving behind Will, his first best friend, now most everyone else being work colleagues, and he heard horror stories of meetups gone awry, where the players lost the chemistry they had before and now their profiles read Last visited 4y ago. Merlin didn’t want that.

But at the same time, the idea of a meetup was exhilarating. For as many meetup horror stories he heard, he found just as—no, twice as many that went well. One even happened to Will, who had introduced him to Excalibur Online right before Merlin had moved away to Camelot, the other likely running high on endorphins still from his successful meetup. She’d been a girl named Freya, who apparently lived only in the next town over, which was still a good ways away, but shockingly close for someone online. That’d been a little over two years ago. Last Merlin heard, Will was thinking of proposing to her.

He didn’t want to marry King or anything like that, but such a successful meetup still had him forcing down his nerves. “When works for you?” he asked.

“I’ve got a big work thing coming up,” King admitted. “But maybe after that? A month and some from now?”

Merlin nodded, though King couldn’t see him. “Me too. How about a month and a half from now? We can talk about it more when the time is closer.”

Their avatars idled for a moment, and Merlin wondered if King was getting cold feet too. A breeze made King’s cape lift, the red splaying out behind him, and Merlin spun his staff. Finally, King said, “Sounds good,” and Merlin let out a breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

-

They continued to play Excalibur Online like nothing had changed, though Merlin got sweaty palms every time he thought about the looming meetup. DruidKnight joined them sometimes, and they’d clear more levels before he’d disappear once again.

In real life, meanwhile, Merlin found himself hating Arthur Pendragon more and more, the man always having some complaint about Merlin’s work, always some new order more challenging than the last.

“I’m not the only person in the department!” Merlin complained to King after they completed a side quest. “And I know I’m not that bad at my job! I know it!”

King was quiet before he swung his sword and said, “Maybe it’s favouritism.”

“Favouritism? LOL,” Merlin actually laughed aloud, “maybe he’s a sadist.”

“Think about it,” King said. “He trusts you to get the work done, and maybe he sees your potential.”

Merlin worried his lower lip between his teeth. “Maybe,” he finally agreed. “But I still think he could give more to other people. I’m only one person.” King swung his sword, and that’s when Merlin remembered. “You’re a supervisor, right?”

“Yes…”

“I bet you aren’t half as bad as mine. In fact, working for you would probably be paradise in comparison to this.”

“Maybe LOL,” King said. “Not everyone is happy with me.”

“Really?” Merlin rolled over, holding his mobile over his face. “What happened?”

“Got scolded big time by my subordinate,” King answered. “It was really humiliating. But it was a nice wake up call IG.”

“You didn’t fire him, right?” Merlin asked, thinking of his own blunder in front of Arthur. “As a supervisor, you don’t know just how much stress we’re under. You only get our finished products.”

“I didn’t fire him,” King said. “I probably should’ve, but we’re all hauling right now trying to meet deadlines. I don’t think I blame him.”

“Good,” Merlin replied. “Always sucks when things get that bad, but it’s nice that you’re so forgiving.”

King swung his sword, and the conversation came to an end. Together, they went back to fulfilling the main quest.

-

Merlin watched with narrowed eyes as Arthur stopped at Gwen’s desk. Gwen had been the one to show him the ropes when he started working at Avalon Inc, and she was the one coworker of his he ever considered inviting over for a cuppa. Of course, he never actually did, but he thought about it sometimes, and he thought about it again watching Arthur say something to the woman, which had her glancing over at Merlin, only to see him already looking their way. Flustered, Merlin turned back to his computer. Maybe he could ask another day. 

He was going over another’s presentation when he felt a present at his back. Merlin stopped typing and looked up, only to see Arthur standing over him. “Hi,” Arthur said.

“Hullo,” Merlin replied.

“What’s that?” Arthur asked, nodding at Merlin’s monitor.

“Um,” Merlin said, and then, “a presentation.”

“Yours?” Arthur leant forward, and Merlin felt heat along the back of his neck. “Doesn’t look like your work.”

“It’s not,” Merlin confirmed. “It’s Gilli’s.”

“The new intern’s?” Arthur asked, and Merlin nodded. Something like a ghost of a smile flickered across Arthur’s face before he straightened up and patted Merlin’s shoulder. “Kind of you, but I know you’ve got plenty of your own work to do. Best to be doing that instead, yeah?” He caught Merlin’s gaze, and Merlin took a short breath before nodding.

“Right,” he said, “yeah. Right. Yeah.” He nodded again. “I’ll just tell him it’s good, and—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Arthur cut him off. “Just tell him to send it to me as is. I can look it over.”

“I’m sure you’ve got your own work too,” Merlin replied, but Arthur just shook his head.

“Don’t get dedicated now, Merlin.” His hand slipped from Merlin’s shoulder, and Merlin found him oddly bereft without its warmth. “Tell him to send it to me as is, then send me your own work when you’re done with it too.”

Merlin nodded, ducking his head and licking his lips.

Arthur stood there for another second, and Merlin wondered what else he had to say. When he met Arthur’s eyes once more, he was surprised to see the slight flush in the other’s cheeks. Even the tips of his ears seemed to be turning red. “About your work, actually,” he began, and oh, so he was turning red from annoyance, great, “I just wanted to say you’ve improved a lot.”

Merlin blinked. 

“So, uh,” Arthur cleared his throat, “keep up the good work.”

“Um,” Merlin said.

“That’s all.” Arthur nodded once to Merlin, then again to himself, before he pivoted and practically marched back to his office, leaving Merlin to stare after him, his own cheeks a bright red, matching those of Arthur’s. Merlin blinked again, rapidly, before looking toward Gwen’s desk. The woman sent him a smile and a thumbs up. Merlin tried to smile back, but he was sure it appeared more as a wince. Still, Gwen kept her thumb in the air until Merlin turned back around to get back to his work.

-

Since then, Arthur hadn’t done anything weird like he had that day, but he did give Merlin less work, and he also hadn’t sent many things back to Merlin to be redone. Then, the main stressor at the office, a project that would be seen by the CEO – though, Merlin rolled his eyes, that was only Arthur’s father, so maybe it didn’t matter that much – was completed, and when Arthur got back from the meeting, pink in the cheeks and with a forehead shiny from sweat, he stopped by Merlin’s desk and said, “Good job.” At least that’s all he said, and Merlin found himself breathing easy by the time he retreated into his office.

Merlin thought, then, that his life was looking up, but of course he had to be proven wrong when he stepped into a little cafe on his way to work. He thought he had a simple order, but the barista, a teenager in a black apron with curls Merlin wondered if he’d have should he ever let his hair grow out, glared at him the entire time with piercing grey-blue eyes, like storm clouds, and when Merlin stumbled on his way to grab his drink from the boy, the little prick clicked his tongue at him. Merlin refrained from doing something stupid and immature back. 

He gave him a two-fingered salute on his way out the door.

Of course, as soon as the door swung shut behind him, a lorry thundered by and sprayed mud all over him, ruining his clothes and forcing him to be thirty minutes late to work. Merlin wiped the same fingers he used to flip off the kid across his eyes, clearing away the mud, and cursed karma. The kid had started it anyway.

By the time he was able to get a new lid on his tea, the drink had gone cold, and Merlin found himself making a new cup altogether at work, feeling his cheeks heat at his tardiness. Still, he liked having something to drink while he worked, and he wasn’t going to stop now.

He was more than ready to collapse into bed and play Excalibur Online when the day ended and he finally got to go back home. DruidKnight and King had already started playing, and Merlin rushed to catch up with them. 

“DruidKnight,” he said, “you are so sweet… pls… never change. Don’t let the world harden you… pls…”

“Ofc not,” DruidKnight replied. “Did smthng happen?”

“What didn’t happen today?” Merlin answered. “First I got disrespected by a kid then I had to be late to work then—.” Merlin set his phone down. Well, work wasn’t that bad. He backspaced, the message ending at “work”. 

“Sounds rough,” King said.

“I didn’t even get to enjoy my drink,” Merlin whinged.

DruidKnight killed a slime that crossed their path. “Need 2 raise my hp,” he said. “Hold on.”

They went over to a fire pit, and Merlin gave DruidKnight some of his raw ingredients so that the boy could make more food items with higher HP. DruidKnight waved his sword. “Yesssssss,” he said. “Thx ilu emrys.”

“YW,” Merlin replied, smiling at the boy’s warmth. He was surprised DruidKnight hadn’t wanted to join in on his and King’s meetup plans, but he did worry a bit about DruidKnight’s attachment to him. Merlin might only be twenty-three, but there was an ocean between that and DruidKnight’s teenagehood. Still, he figured this was an adolescent thing, and DruidKnight would grow out of it eventually.

When the food was done cooking, DruidKnight tossed Merlin two pieces, and Merlin quickly added them to his inventory. “Thanks,” he said.

“Np,” DruidKnight replied, before tossing one to King too. “Ok we can keep going now.” He added a little happy face at the end, and in real life, Merlin smiled. They beat some low-level enemies, DruidKnight challenged King to a one-on-one, and then they went on to the next level.

They were collecting the enemies’ drops when DruidKnight continued: “Oh when r u guys mtg? Thats gna happen soon right?”

“Yeah,” King replied, while Merlin spun his staff. “We don’t have a date yet, but we’ll figure it out soon.”

“Hav fun,” DruidKnight said. “Hav u guys met any1 from EO b4?”

“No,” they both answered.

DruidKnight hummed (Hmmmm) before he waved his sword. “GL then. Its rly fun.”

“Have you met your guild yet?” King asked.

DruidKnight waved his sword again. “Soon,” he said.

“GL to you too then,” King replied, then swung his sword.

“Thx,” DruidKnight said.

They continued with their quest.

Merlin started when he saw a DM from King. “How about this weekend? Saturday?” the message read. Merlin swallowed, fingers shaky when he replied in agreement. King sent a happy face, and Merlin watched his avatar block a blow from a goblin’s staff, while DruidKnight did a magical attack, getting a critical hit in, though the monster still lived. Merlin’s own avatar, human-like, though he had wings like a falcon and wore a witch’s hat, stood idle, and he rushed to join the fight, especially when some lower-class mobs spawned, nuisances to the main fight.

It was Tuesday night, meaning there were really only three days between now and when Merlin and King would meet. Sleep did not come easy when he finally put his phone down and went to bed.

-

Saturday came much too soon. They’d agreed to meet at a Starbucks a couple blocks away from Merlin’s flat, and he was surprised to find that King lived a similar distance from it. So, they were in the same area. Briefly, he wondered if perhaps they’d met before, but Camelot was such a huge city it was hard to believe. If they had, Merlin was certain it’d only have been in passing, getting on or off the tube, brushing by each other on the way home. Nothing remarkable.

He fiddled with his neckerchief, a bold fashion choice suggested by Gwaine, another one of his coworkers and one not meant to be trusted, but Merlin was in such a panic by the end of the day Friday he was willing to listen to anyone. Besides, Gwaine was the only one who seemed to have any luck on their floor in scoring dates. Even Arthur seemed to be perpetually single, though Merlin knew not a small amount of his female colleagues had their eye on him. Plus, Merlin would rather get struck by lightning then hit by a bus before he went to Arthur for advice. 

Now, he was regretting the choice, as in his worry, he began to overheat, and he was sure his cheeks and ears were turning a furious red. At least his neck was spared, hidden as it was under the patterned fabric.

He continued to wait, drinkless and alone at a table, which earned him an annoyed look from one of the baristas, and he was considering giving up and going home, when the door jingled. Panic surging once more in his belly, Merlin kept his eyes on the floor, until a pair of sneakers entered his sight. He looked up.

It was that fucking kid from the cafe! He blanched, but the other didn’t seem to notice, as all he did was hold up his mobile and go, “Do you play Excalibur Online?”

“Um,” Merlin said, and then, “yes.”

“Oh,” the kid replied. “Cool.” He took the seat across from Merlin.

This kid was a supervisor…? A manager, for real? He couldn’t be older than sixteen, maybe seventeen. Merlin swallowed and drummed his fingers on his thighs.

“So,” he began, “did your project go well?”

The kid looked up, eyes still like the sky before it rained, and Merlin swallowed before sticking out a hand. “Um, the name is Merlin. Nice to meet you.”

“Mordred.” The kid took his hand, giving it a hesitant shake. “Pleasure.”

Another moment passed before Mordred leant back in his chair. “Project…?”

“You mentioned it before,” Merlin said.

Mordred appeared to think for a moment before his eyes widened and he nodded. “Yeah. It went well. The costume for one of them didn’t fit, so we had to start that one over, but otherwise, everything turned out okay.”

Costume…? Was this kid part of a theatre group? Merlin thought about all of the times King talked about work. It never sounded like he did theatre, and he never gave any indication he enjoyed the arts – at least, not enough to participate in them – but he supposed King might have assumed Merlin wouldn’t understand. Merlin nodded.

“Ah,” he said. “That’s good….” He glanced around, then pointed to the counter, where a queue had started to form. “Um, maybe we should get our drinks? Or we could go somewhere less crowded?” It felt weird to offer, but this entire meetup was turning out completely different from what he expected.

Mordred frowned, tilting his head. “Shouldn’t we wait for the other members first?”

“Huh?” Merlin stared blankly at Mordred. “I thought it was just the two of us….”

Mordred’s frown deepened. “But it was LastHighPriestess and WarlordSunGod who planned this?”

Merlin blinked before it clicked. “This isn’t—I think you have the wrong person. Are you here for a guild meetup?”

Mordred nodded, finally losing the frown. “Are you not part of the Old Religion guild?” Merlin shook his head, and Mordred ahhed before rising from his seat. “Sorry then. Um. Good luck with your meeting.” He nodded his head to Merlin one more time before the door jingled as another group of people walked in, and this time, Mordred aha’d in recognition. Merlin refrained from burying his head in his hands.

He heard Mordred say something to one of the people in the group, a woman with bleached blond hair and heavy eyeliner, looking much more like the kind of person Mordred would hang out with, and Merlin sighed before sinking deeper into his chair. He once again thought about going back home and tried his best not to feel like someone stood up on a blind date. Unsure of his next move, he pulled out his mobile once more, deciding to play some Excalibur Online, thinking it might soothe his nerves as it often did.

It did not.

Upon opening the app, the first thing he saw was a private message from King.

“Something came up at work,” it said. “Do you mind waiting ~45 minutes?”

Merlin did, but at least he understood sudden changes in work schedules. He shot back a reply, telling King that it was fine, and tried to ignore the eyes he sometimes felt on the back of his head. He knew if he turned around, he’d see Mordred looking over at him. Kids these days, Merlin thought, feeling not unlike an old man, so fucking weird.

After another handful of minutes passed, Merlin started up Excalibur Online again. Luckily, DruidKnight was online, and Merlin quickly went to join him. “Want to continue the quest?” he asked.

“Ah,” DruidKnight said, and he waved his sword, “i wld but im w my guild…”

“Really?” Merlin bit back a laugh. “I’m supposed to be meeting someone today too.”

“R U FINALLY MTG KING?!?!?” DruidKnight suddenly got frantic in his sword-waving, likely spamming the button. Merlin allowed himself a quiet laugh, still aware of his very public surroundings.

“Yeah,” he replied. “But King is late. Said work came up.”

“Oh…,” DruidKnight’s cape fluttered, “i can still talk to u tho!”

“Thanks, Druid,” Merlin said. “But you should really focus on your guild.”

“Its ok! I like talking to u!”

Merlin smiled. “I’ve got an hour before King comes so…”

“Owww,” DruidKnight said, “but dont u think he seems like a hard wrkr?”

Merlin LOLed, though he did agree. “A bit.”

“Hes quik on his ft n smart. A real match 4 u!”

“Aren’t you laying it on a bit thick?” Merlin asked. “Is he really that great?” He found himself nodding in agreement, but while DruidKnight was pretty earnest, it was usually directed toward praising Merlin. 

“I still like u the most,” DruidKnight promised.

Merlin went to reply but paused when he saw a new message from King.

“Okay,” it said, “I’m ready.”

When Merlin focused on the game again, DruidKnight’s speech bubble just finished saying, “I hav 2 gt bck to my mtg now!”

Merlin spun his staff, while DruidKnight’s avatar ran up and down the path before it finally said: “Nxt time u meet! Pls invite me!” Merlin blinked, surprised at the sudden boldness, before he typed a cautious “sure” in reply. 

Meanwhile, OnceAndFutureKing had sent another round of messages.

“Wait,” the first one read, “is it the Starbucks at Darkling Station?” The second one was him double-checking that’s where Merlin was, and the last one… Merlin’s grip around his mobile tightened.

“Is it ok if I call you?”

Merlin glanced at the door. Outside, strangers passed by in technicolour, and around him, he heard voices overlap in conversation. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, he supposed, and sent King his number.

He was teetering on the edge of a panic attack, full of regret and embarrassment at his complete breaking of the Internet 101 rules, when his screen darkened with an incoming call. Arthur Pendragon flashed at the top of his screen, and Merlin held back an annoyed groan. Arthur rarely called him when he was off work, but when he did, it was never anything good.

“Hello?” he asked. “Is something the matter?”

“Merlin?” Arthur sounded incredulous.

“What is it?” Merlin asked. Why’d he say Merlin’s name like a question? “Is something wrong?”

“Where are you right now?”

“At the Starbucks near Darkling Station,” Merlin answered, hesitant, while worry bubbled in his stomach. “What is it?”

“That’s the one south of Avalon, right?” Arthur asked.

“Yes,” Merlin stuttered. “Is this about work? I’m kind of busy. And I thought with the project being over—”

“Just stay there,” Arthur said, and Merlin heard the murmur of a crowd through his phone’s tinny speaker, and then there was the jingle of the door, except Merlin heard it through his phone and in real time, and when he looked up, Arthur was standing in the doorway, scanning the Starbucks until his eyes landed on Merlin. His face was flushed, and his knuckles were white from the grip he had on his phone.

Merlin rose from his chair, practically on instinct, his fight or flight kicking in. “Arthur?” he asked. “What are you doing here? I meant it when I said I’m busy. I—”

Arthur held up his phone, and a familiar avatar was idling in Excalibur Online. Merlin paled and sunk back into his seat.

“Oh,” he said, voice little more than a whisper. “You’re – haha – OnceAndFutureKing. Of course you are. And I complained about—you’re King. Right. Of course.”

“Emrys?” Arthur prompted.

“My middle name,” Merlin answered, trying to hide his face in the neckerchief he was now extremely grateful for. “It’s Ambrose. Emrys is the Welsh equivalent.”

“Merlin A Wyllt,” Arthur recited before nodding. “I see.”

Merlin wished a hole would open up in the ground and swallow him whole. He stayed silent while Arthur looked between him and the counter.

“Have you gotten a drink yet?” Arthur asked. “I’m going to go order one.”

Merlin shook his head. 

“I can get you one,” Arthur said, but Merlin just shook his head once more and rose from his seat.

“I can get my own,” he said, and with this small defiance of Arthur, he felt a bit more like himself, tugging the neckerchief down to better expose his face, though he knew he was still red in the cheeks, and standing straighter. “Come on.”

When they got their drinks, Merlin thought they might sit down again, but someone had managed to snatch their table. Merlin stared morosely at his previous seat before Arthur nudged him and nodded to the door. “We can get a proper meal somewhere else,” he said.

They walked in silence for a bit, though Merlin ached with the need to say something, before Arthur cleared his throat.

“So,” he said, and Merlin glanced over at him from the corner of his eye, “I’m your demon boss from hell.”

“When you say it out loud it’s a bit….” Merlin coughed into his fist before rolling his shoulders back. “Yeah. You are.” He took a sip of his drink before narrowing his eyes. “I don’t get how you couldn’t put it together. Even if I weren’t talking about you, the habits were too similar.”

“You didn’t exactly tell me what I said – or, he said,” Arthur argued. “Just that you wished I’d die, and that I’m the devil, and that I should go to hell. Stellar reviews, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Merlin glared at the pavement in front of him. “You really are awful, though.”

Arthur gave a noncommittal shrug. “I wasn’t great for a long while, sure, but I think I’ve improved.” He lifted his cup to his lips. “I took your advice.”

“What?” Merlin lifted his gaze to look over at Arthur.

“I’ve brought you up before,” Arthur explained, “to yourself.” He thought for a second. “It was back when you ran over my foot. Or a bit after that. Sometime around then.”

Merlin cursed under his breath.

“You don’t forget your subordinate running over your foot, Merlin,” Arthur said. “But you brought up me being a manager, and you reminded me of all the work I don’t see. The work you do. I guess I started thinking about that more from that point on, and I tried to make the work a bit more even. And threw in some encouragement.”

“You always looked constipated,” Merlin told him. “I thought perhaps Uther threatened to take away your Rolls-Royce if you didn’t say something nice.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You can call me Arthur, but you should really make sure to call him Mr Pendragon when he’s around.”

“I do!” Merlin protested. “You just never listen to me.”

“Clearly I’ve just proven that I do listen to you,” Arthur said. “So. There.”

Merlin scoffed. “You’re such a kid.”

“Kids don’t drive Range Rovers,” Arthur replied.

“So Daddy did take away your Rolls-Royce.” Merlin raised his brows in mock surprise.

“No,” Arthur snapped, “that’s what I’m using my next paycheck on. Then he can threaten to take away my Royce.”

Merlin glanced over to see Arthur already looking at him. His lip quivered for a moment before he burst into a laugh. At his reaction, Arthur grinned. After he collected himself, Merlin stopped. “Did you know it was me?”

Arthur paused too. “In the game?”

Merlin nodded.

It was clear Arthur had an answer, but he hesitated, lips parting while he looked off to the side. Merlin stepped closer when people had to walk around him. Arthur took a step back, running into the display window of the bookstore they stopped in front of. “Not really,” he finally said, “but I considered the possibility. When you ran over my foot, when you got mad, it sounded similar to the way Emrys talked, so I thought maybe, but I didn’t know, not really.”

Merlin took a sip of his drink, so he didn’t have to reply right away. “I see.”

“And you had no idea I was…?” Arthur trailed off, but he needn’t finish the question.

Merlin shook his head. “Not a clue. I should’ve realised it, though.”

“Well,” Arthur lifted his drink in mock cheers before continuing on with their walk, “I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Why not?”

Arthur took a sip. When he swallowed, he said, “You wouldn’t have kept playing EO with me otherwise.”

Merlin went to argue, but he knew it was true. He wasn’t even sure he could keep playing now. Arthur was a good companion in-game, but Merlin knew a lot of their conversation would be stilted, knowing he couldn’t complain to the extent he wanted with Arthur being the one he was complaining about. The conversation was prevented from continuing when he spotted a restaurant up ahead they could eat at. They finished their drinks before stepping inside. He’d been to it before, the place having good vegetarian options that weren’t just fancy salads. 

When they found a seat, Arthur continued: “You haven’t talked about it as much, though.”

“What?”

“Work,” Arthur said. “You haven’t had as much to say about it. Or me, at least.”

Merlin fiddled with the curling edge of the paper menu. “Well,” he said, “you haven’t been as awful as you used to be.” They continued to talk even after they got their food, and while it wasn’t the easy conversation they had in-game, it also wasn’t the terse chats they had at work either. 

Still, Merlin felt queasy with every lengthening pause between their words, until finally, he stood. “Loo,” he said quickly, before making a hasty retreat.

At the sink, he splashed water on his face, and in the mirror, he reminded himself that this was Arthur – bossy, rude, stupid idiot Arthur – and he knew how to talk to Arthur, and he knew Arthur wouldn’t fire him for something outside of work. If he didn’t fire him for calling him awful and evil to his face, nor for running over his foot, he for sure wouldn’t fire Merlin for playing a video game with him.

“Get it together, Merlin,” he said before pushing himself away from the counter and going to the door. He pushed it open, and he was ready to leave, only to run into someone. He stumbled back and held in a noise of surprise at the face.

“Merlin?” Mordred asked.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin took another step back.

“My guild decided to eat here,” Mordred replied. “One of the members’ brothers runs this place.”

Merlin stared. “Oh,” he said.

“Did you find who you were looking for?” Mordred asked.

Merlin nodded. 

“Not going well?” 

Merlin shook his head.

Mordred glanced around, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, before he suggested, “I could sit with you guys maybe? Just for a bit. To break the ice.”

Again, Merlin shook his head. “It’s really alright,” he said. “You should spend time with your guild.”

“No,” Mordred held up a hand, “they won’t mind.” He studied Merlin for a second before stepping back out the restroom, Merlin following. After Merlin pointed out their table, Mordred nodded and led the way back. When they reached the table, Mordred waved. “Hi.”

Arthur nodded. “Hello.”

“This is Mordred,” Merlin cut in. “He plays EO too.”

“Really?” Arthur leant back in his chair. “Going to play with us?”

Mordred dipped his head before taking a seat. “If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t,” Arthur replied, as Merlin sat back in his chair. 

When they logged on, Mordred made a small noise. At Merlin and Arthur’s twin inquisitive looks, he shook his head. “You guys have a lot more points than me. I’m a bit, ah, intimidated.”

At that, Merlin smiled. “No worries. I’ve been playing for a while, so.”

“My weapon is OP,” Arthur explained, and his avatar swung his sword.

Mordred nodded, while his own avatar spun its staff, much like Merlin’s did. He was also a bear, much like Arthur, but where Arthur wore armour, Mordred’s avatar wore deep green robes. KingSlayer was his username. Arthur gave a laugh.

“Unfortunate usernames,” he said, and Mordred gave a small smile.

“I had a bit of an emo phase,” he explained.

Merlin raised a brow. “Phase?” He looked over at Mordred’s clothes, all varying shades of black, complete with boots perfect for a mosh pit. Mordred held his phone in front of his face, preventing Merlin from seeing his expression, though he could still see the teenager’s cheeks darken. 

“Whatever,” Mordred said. And then, he gasped, “Look!”

The three of them held their phones closer to see a rare, high-level beast – a gryphon with white wings and a sharp beak, tongue out and ugly as it hissed at them. Merlin glanced at Arthur to find him already looking back.

They nodded and got to work.

Mordred tried to help, but his low level and weak HP, along with an unfortunate critical hit from the gryphon, had him dying early. “Sorry,” he said aloud, but Merlin just waved the apology away with a distracted hand.

“No worries,” he said, before Arthur told him to move and use a stunning spell, so he could go in and get the gryphon in the stomach.

They continued on like that, the pair of them giving orders only halfway said, the other knowing what to do from memory. They were a seamless team, and it wasn’t long before the gryphon was dead, disappearing in a shimmering haze, and leaving behind coins, a sharp claw, and two shining feathers.

“Yes!” Merlin cheered, reaching across the table to take Arthur’s hand in a poorly thought-out high-five. Poorly thought-out, as his fingers had a different idea, and instead tried to lace with Arthur’s own. Merlin nearly dropped his phone, releasing Arthur’s hand and sitting back in his seat. “Sorry.”

Arthur coughed into his serviette. Mordred leant forward.

“That was so cool!” he said. “You guys are really good.”

“Thanks,” Merlin replied, finally looking over at him, and grateful for the distraction from his blunder. “Lots of practice. Too much, probably, for a working adult.” He nodded his head. “You should focus on school. You’re still a student, right?”

Mordred nodded.

“Make sure to go to a good university,” Arthur added. “It’s good to have a plan for the upcoming years, especially when you’re about to become an adult.”

“Get into a good university, so you don’t have to have a trash job,” Merlin said. “Make sure you have a good boss when you work too.”

“My shift manager is nice,” Mordred replied.

“That’s good,” Merlin said, and then Mordred rose from his seat.

“I’ve got to get back to my meeting,” he told them, “but it was nice meeting you.”

Merlin and Arthur gave similar sentiments, and it appeared that Mordred was going to leave, when he stopped and looked back at Merlin. “If you ever do an offline meeting again, invite me, okay?”

Bewildered, Merlin nodded, though he wasn’t sure he’d remember Mordred’s username. He supposed he knew where the kid worked, but he wasn’t keen on seeing him again, no matter their apparent shared passion for Excalibur Online. Seeing Merlin at his job might remind Mordred of their meeting, and he didn’t really want that.

Mordred gave them a wave before disappearing behind a room divider.

“Merlin,” Arthur said once he was gone, “I want to keep playing EO with you.”

Merlin blinked before his gaze dropped back to his phone. “Yeah,” he agreed, “me too.” He fiddled with the ringer button, flicking it on and off, before he left it on “off”, and he looked up at Arthur. 

“Look,” he said, “I’m sorry.” He swallowed and was grateful Arthur didn’t immediately react to his words. “I know I’m not the best employee, but I do care. About my job, I mean. I mean, about the work I do. And – I’m sure you get told this, but – I admire you. Or, not you, but what you do. You’re capable.” He went back to messing with his phone. “You’re a good leader.”

Arthur remained silent.

Merlin cringed, regretting his honesty.

“Thank you,” Arthur finally said, and Merlin looked up from where his thumb pressed against his mobile’s power button. “I appreciate that a lot.” His cheeks were ruddy, the colour even going across his nose, but he met Merlin’s eyes, and he seemed sincere. “And I don’t think you’re a bad employee. Insolent, sure. Disrespectful? In a way I never even thought possible. But it’s clear that you try, and it’s clear that, for all your whinging, which is what you do, don’t even try to deny it, you enjoy what you do. At the end of the day, you care, and that’s what I consider most important at Avalon. People can suck up to me, or to my father, all they want, but if I had to choose between them or you…,” Arthur trailed off as what he was saying seemed to catch up with him. Merlin watched as his tongue darted out to swipe across his lower lip. Part of him wanted Arthur to finish that statement, but as Arthur only continued to stare, fingers twitching where they held his serviette, Merlin spared him.

“Thanks,” he said. “That’s nice to hear.”

“Well,” Arthur cleared his throat, shaking his head so his hair fell more across his eyes, “don’t expect anything like that again. I just figured, if we’re sharing how we feel.”

“Right,” Merlin said. “No. I agree.” And then, because he has chronic foot-in-mouth syndrome, he added: “So you choose me, huh? Just this once? Or every time? Because it sounds like it’d be every time.”

“Merlin.” Arthur glared at him from across the table.

“It’s okay, Arthur. I know you can’t help me being your favourite. That’s just how it is.” Merlin grinned as he spooned up his curry. “I get it.”

“Um,” a voice said from behind him then, and Merlin turned around to see Mordred standing there, hands shoved in his pockets. He pulled one out to point at the mess of dishes on the table. “I forgot my phone.”

“And you didn’t notice till now?” Arthur asked.

Mordred nodded while Merlin handed him the device. “Thanks,” he told Merlin. He glanced at Arthur but said nothing, and with that, he left, shoving his phone into his pocket, hand following soon after.

“Wonder what his problem is,” Merlin said.

Arthur crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. “Teenagers,” he replied.

-

Things continued to go well after that. At work, they weren’t exactly friends, but Merlin felt the pressure on him lessen. Still, he continued to do his best, and Arthur appeared pleased – Merlin rarely had to redo assignments now. Outside of work, they met up surprisingly often, though they mostly used the time to play Excalibur. Surprisingly, Arthur was good at keeping his work and personal life separate, and Merlin was grateful for the reprieve.

Despite the positives, Merlin found DruidKnight playing with them less and less.

“He’s got A levels, doesn’t he?” Arthur said when Merlin told him his worry. “Those are starting soon, right?”

“They’ve already started,” Merlin replied. “I just think it’s odd…,” he trailed off as a slime hopped across the screen. He killed it before continuing: “Do you think everything’s alright?”

Arthur shrugged, and Merlin delivered a kick to his shin that had him whining. “He’s fine,” Arthur finally said. “He’s a kid. He’s probably got mood swings. Or maybe a girlfriend.”

“Maybe,” Merlin agreed, but he didn’t think so.

He ended up going back to Mordred’s cafe.

“Morning,” he said, while Mordred glared at him. He made a face at the teenager’s expression. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Mordred replied. “I was running late this morning and didn’t have time to put in my contacts.”

Merlin blinked. “Do you not have glasses?”

“Broke them,” Mordred said. “Haven’t had time to order new ones.”

So Mordred hadn’t been glaring at him. Not today and not back then. Okay. “Isn’t that a problem?” he asked. “At school or anything?”

Mordred shrugged. “I usually wear my contacts.”

Merlin hummed then placed his order. As Mordred wrote it down, Merlin deliberated on whether or not he should ask his next question. He finally decided as Mordred went to print his receipt. “You’re a teenager,” he said, making Mordred give him a concerned look, “so you know what it means if a kid starts avoiding you, right?”

“Uh,” Mordred replied. “I mean, we aren’t that different, are we?”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, and Mordred backtracked. 

“It’s just,” Merlin continued when Mordred stuttered to a stop, “we used to play EO together, not all the time, but often, and I know there’s A levels, but they’ve also already started, and it’s like he looks for reasons not to hang out. He’s a good kid, but I just get worried, you know?”

Mordred stared at him. “He’s probably fine,” he finally said. “You might just be imagining it. Besides, you said it yourself, A levels are here. Even if they’re already underway, they can be really draining. He’s probably passing out as soon as he gets home.”

Merlin messed with the frayed edge of his sleeve. Another stylistic choice he was starting to regret as it itched against his palm. “You think so?” he asked. “I just think it’d be fun to quest with him again.”

Mordred gave him something like a smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m sure it’s fine.” He waved a hand. “He might even invite you on a quest soon himself. So. Don’t give up. Or something.”

The words hung funnily in the air, until Merlin broke through them with a laugh. “You’re right,” he said. “You’re right.” He nodded and sent Mordred a relieved grin. “Thanks. I’ll try not to let it get me down anymore.”

Mordred nodded back, and Merlin stepped away, and soon he had his drink and was heading out the door. He thought Mordred might be looking at him as he left, but when he glanced back, Mordred was focussed on another customer’s order. Merlin shrugged and continued on his way to work.

The next day, DruidKnight was back, and this time, he offered to help Merlin in a special event that had been going on throughout the week. Merlin accepted. It seemed Arthur and Mordred had been right – he had been overthinking it.

-

Arthur was quiet at their next meeting.

“Is everything alright?” Merlin asked.

Arthur shrugged.

“Is it a work thing?” he prodded. “I won’t tell anyone, if it is.”

“Not a work thing,” Arthur replied. “I just got an odd message from DruidKnight.”

“Did you?” Merlin asked, to which Arthur nodded, and angled his phone so Merlin could see the DM.

“I know about you and Emrys,” he read, “but I won’t give up.”

He looked up at Arthur. “He knows we work together…?”

Again, Arthur shrugged. “Maybe he wants to work at Avalon when he finishes school?”

“Why anyone would want to do that,” Merlin began, making Arthur shove him. On screen, his avatar shuddered at a critical hit from the skeleton they were fighting. Merlin glared at Arthur. “Thanks.”

Arthur’s lips curled upwards at the corners. He remained silent as he typed a reply to DruidKnight, and Merlin let his game idle while he scooted closer to read over Arthur’s shoulder. Best of luck to you, he said. Merlin raised his brows.

“Could sound a bit less like an ass,” he said.

“I’ll fire you,” Arthur replied.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

-

Merlin hated to admit it, but he liked Arthur. And he wasn’t just talking as a supervisor or as someone to play games with.

He knew, objectively, the man was handsome. He was all muscle – practical strength – and golden hair and crystalline eyes, eyes like God took the sky and put them in his irises, and for all his teasing, he could be startlingly honest, and it was clear that, for all the potential nepotism, he wanted to do well at work and he cared about those under him, even if he had trouble expressing it. Very much an “I push you because I care” mentality. Merlin wasn’t much of a fan of it, but for Arthur, he supposed he could be.

He had already liked OnceAndFutureKing plenty, and maybe he had spent a night or two dreaming what the other player could look like, whether he had dark hair or light, eyes like the sea or eyes like the earth, whether he was tall or short, and maybe he did one time wish things could go for him like things went for Will and Freya, but he was never serious about it. And he never thought OnceAndFutureKing would turn out to be the same man he worked under.

But every piece of Arthur Pendragon coming together into a perfect puzzle had Merlin struggling to keep hold of his heart, and he found himself with a very annoying crush.

Gwen, having been through something similar – and by that he meant, everyone on his floor had had a crush on Arthur at one point or another – was very sympathetic. “He clearly likes you best,” she told him. “The only thing is – dating your boss?”

“He’s not technically,” Merlin said, but that was enough indication to both of them how far gone he was.

“Get well soon,” Gwaine told him, while Lancelot, who worked on the floor above them but also was in a relationship with Gwen and had come down to eat lunch with them, did his best to look like the reminder that Gwen once had a crush on Arthur didn’t send him into a spiral about her current affections for him. Merlin just barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

Lancelot’s presence had Merlin turning on Gwen, though, saying, “Dating your coworker?” He tsked, shaking his head, while Gwaine cheered, seeing as he was rather experienced with dating coworkers.

“He does like you most,” Gwaine said after calming. “It’s a bit obvious. Absolutely killing George.” Another intern, George was, efficient and intelligent, and Merlin admired him to an extent. The only bad part about George was that when Uther had stopped on their floor to discuss something with Arthur, he made it clear Merlin’s job was the intern’s as soon as Merlin got fed up and quit or was fired. Unfortunately for Mr Pendragon, it appeared that wasn’t going to be anytime soon.

“Would you quit if it meant you could date Arthur?” Lancelot asked.

Merlin hesitated. Gwen began to grin. “No!” Merlin finally said. “No. I wouldn’t. I’m not that unprofessional.” But the damage had been done, and he left his lunch break with burning cheeks and ears that glowed red.

-

Before work, he stopped by Mordred’s cafe another couple of times, the teenager much less annoying now that Merlin understood he wasn’t glaring. Sometimes they talked, but for the most part he would just get his drink and go. Still, the drinks were better than Starbucks and cheaper, so he found himself returning more and more.

Meanwhile, Arthur got another slew of strange messages from Mordred, each one growing in vitriol, until Merlin read them through again and said, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“Really?” Arthur asked, eyes locked on the final message from Mordred, one that read: U R DEAD KING. EMRYS WILL C. FR. “You think so?”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “He doesn’t think we’re coworkers.” 

“So what does he think we are in—,” Arthur scrolled through the messages quickly, “oh. He thinks we’re—oh.” He swallowed. “So does that mean he…?”

“I thought he did,” Merlin replied, “but I don’t say anything because acknowledging it means to encourage it.”

“But you were rather concerned about him not being online,” Arthur said.

“He’s a sweet teenager trying to complete his A levels and get into a good school,” Merlin told him. “Tell me those weren’t the worst years of your life.”

Arthur thought it over before giving a weak shrug. “Childhood is rough.”

At that, Merlin leant away to give him a long look. “Not quite what I was going for, but. Sure.” He disliked Uther by virtue of the man being his boss, and a billionaire, and for slapping rainbows on things during Pride month all while giving disgusted looks at the gay flag Merlin kept in a mug on his desk, but now he found his opinion of him souring for Arthur too. Awful man, truly. Maybe he should quit. Any money from Uther felt increasingly like dirty money.

He blinked and shoved those thoughts away before he could study them further. “If he were backing off, I’d say to keep up the delusion. But maybe we should tell him the truth, if only so you don’t get more messages like that.” He nodded his head at the message proclaiming Arthur dead.

Arthur agreed.

Later that night, when he’d gone back to his flat, Merlin got a text from Arthur. It was a screenshot of his and DruidKnight’s DMs. Arthur’s explained that they were just coworkers and were not together in any romantic capacity, which stung Merlin more than he liked, and DruidKnight’s said, “Oh.”

Arthur had sent a shrugging emoji with the screenshot. Merlin wasn’t sure what to say to it either, but he supposed it was better than a death threat, albeit a weak one.

-

When Merlin saw Mordred a couple days later, the teenager seemed more cheerful than usual.

“Something good happen at school?” he asked as he took his drink.

Mordred shook his head. “Just got some good news.”

Merlin ahhed. “Well,” he smiled again, “have a good day then!”

Mordred actually gave him a proper grin. “You too!”

Again, Merlin felt eyes on him as he left, and this time, when he turned around, Mordred was looking at him still. He lifted a hand in a wave. Merlin hesitated, then waved back.

-

“Have you ever considered,” Arthur began when Merlin went into his office at lunch, “that Mordred is DruidKnight?”

Merlin blinked as he took a seat in front of Arthur’s desk. “No,” he said. “Why?”

“Maybe because he is,” Arthur replied. “And because he fits the bill?”

“Really?” Merlin tapped a finger to his chin. “But Mordred is so…,” he made a face, “you know. And DruidKnight really is sweet.”

“He sent me death threats,” Arthur said.

“You know he wouldn’t actually kill you,” Merlin argued.

“DruidKnight is Mordred.” Arthur pulled out his lunch. “That KingSlayer was an alternate account of his.”

“I just don’t know if—”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, “they’re the same person. At that first meetup, he was clearly hanging out for your sake. And when he left? He was probably trying to figure out if he wanted my head on a spike or a platter.”

“That’s because Mordred is a creepy emo teenager,” Merlin replied, accepting the bowl of pad thai Arthur passed him. “You probably intimidate him. You’re very…,” he studied Arthur with narrowed eyes, and found it a bit like looking into the sun, “intimidating.”

Arthur scoffed. “He likes you, Merlin.”

“What does it matter if he – if either of them – do?” Merlin speared a square of tofu with a bit more force than necessary. “It’s not like I like him back, and you’re not my keeper. You can supervise me at work, but not in my personal life.”

“God forbid I try to be your friend,” Arthur snapped.

“Micromanaging my life is not being my friend,” Merlin snapped back.

“I’m your supervisor!” Arthur argued. “That’s what I’m supposed to do!”

Merlin really regretted his thought about Arthur having a good work-life balance. “So pick one, Arthur. Supervisor or friend, because you sure as hell can’t be both.”

“And why not?” Arthur rose from his desk, hands slamming down on the wood. “You had no problem with me being both before!”

“And I didn’t want to kiss you silly before!” Merlin replied before he realised what he said, and his hands flew to his mouth. “Pretend I didn’t just say that,” he said from behind his fingers.

Arthur stared at him, eyes wide. “Merlin,” he said, but Merlin was already spinning on his heel and running out of his office. At his desk, he began gathering his pencils and pens, and in his head, he was writing his resignation letter, which looked a lot like a suicide note, and Arthur was shoving past George and Lancelot, who once again took his lunch with Gwen, and the closer he got to Merlin’s desk the quicker Merlin worked to shove his papers and the framed picture of himself and his mum into his satchel until the bag fell from his chair and Arthur reached his cubicle.

“Merlin,” he repeated, and Merlin swallowed, cheeks bright red in the bright office light. Arthur met his eyes, blue on vibrant blue. Arthur took another breath. “Merlin,” he said one last time, “you’re fired.”

Merlin exploded. Taking Arthur by the arm, he pulled him back to his office, apologising to Lancelot and George on their way back. When they entered the small room, he shoved Arthur back down into his chair. “I can run over your foot! Curse you to hell and back! Do a thousand little other things that would have anyone else out the door and jobless, but you fire me because I – like everyone else on this stupid fucking floor, might I add – think you’re not awful to look at?”

Arthur stared up at him with wide eyes, his own face flushing with every word. “The difference is that I don’t want to date anyone else on this stupid fucking floor,” he replied. “I want to date you.”

Merlin froze. “What?”

“I won’t fire you,” Arthur said, “though you threaten to quit every other week, but I don’t want you to feel… pressured. I know you’re incredibly headstrong, and I could never make you do something you truly don’t want to do, but—”

“Shut up,” Merlin said, and he glanced back to make sure the blinds covering the windows of Arthur’s office were closed. They were. He took a step closer to Arthur, who sunk further into his chair.

“What?” The word was little more than an exhale.

“I said,” Merlin moved even closer, and he was practically in Arthur’s lap now, “‘shut up’.” Arthur opened his mouth, but anything he had to say was stopped by Merlin’s lips on his. Arthur remained still underneath him, and then Merlin properly straddled Arthur’s thighs, and Arthur’s hands ran down from Merlin’s shoulders to rest at his waist.

“You’re ridiculous,” Merlin said when he pulled away. “You hear me? Absolutely ridiculous.”

“Right,” Arthur agreed, clearly uncaring of what Merlin said, more focussed on his lips rather than what came out of said lips. Arthur swayed forward, his hold on Merlin’s waist tightening. Merlin’s mouth curved into a smile, one that was hard to get rid of, even as Arthur’s lips and tongue worked at his.

It was a rather unprofessional display for Arthur, but unprofessional must be what he wanted, since he apparently wanted Merlin too.

-

Later, after too much time had gone by and Merlin still hadn’t emerged from Arthur’s office, he said, “We should probably talk about this.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t fire you?” Arthur asked.

“Absolutely,” Merlin replied. “If I’m leaving here, it’s on my own terms.”

Arthur hummed, and Merlin felt the rumble of it in his cheek, where he had it pressed into Arthur’s shoulder. The fingers of one of his hands trailed up Merlin’s back until they curved around the nape of his neck, then they tangled into his hair. “Gwen and Lancelot are doing fine.”

“Gwen and Lancelot are the kind of couple that will have a wedding in June and have two-point-five kids and live a wonderful life,” Merlin said.

“And I take it you wouldn’t want something so traditional?” Merlin could hear the smile in Arthur’s voice, even as his eyes slipped shut while Arthur’s fingers ran through his hair.

“I like the idea of a wonderful life,” Merlin murmured. “I don’t think I can give you kids, though. Sorry about that.”

“I think you could do anything you put your mind to, Merlin,” Arthur replied, voice equally low.

Merlin hid a smile in Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur sighed, relaxing further into his chair, Merlin following easily. “I take it you won’t go any easier on me if we’re together?”

“Of course not.”

Merlin nodded. “Right, right. Well, if you’re game….”

“Very.”

“Then I’m definitely willing to give us a go.”

He felt Arthur’s lips against his cheek and, at the same time, his heart leapt in his chest. He supposed he should get used to it.

“Me too,” Arthur agreed. “Most definitely.”

-

“I’m not sure why you think sending my boyfriend death threats is in any way a good tactic to get me to like you,” Merlin said as he walked into Mordred’s cafe. Mordred opened his mouth, cheeks flushing red as some of the other customers looked over at them, but Merlin continued: “Besides, you’re, like, twelve. I’m way too old for you, kid.”

“You’re only twenty-three,” Mordred finally replied. “I turned eighteen two weeks ago.”

“I knew you when you were in diapers,” Merlin said, flat.

Mordred blew a raspberry at him, proving his maturity. In response, Merlin flashed him a backwards V. Just like that, recognition flashed in Mordred’s eyes and Merlin knew he made a mistake. “I was still seventeen when you did that!” he said. “You harassed a minor!”

“No, I didn’t!” Merlin replied, snatching his two drinks and making a hasty escape. “Stop sending Arthur death threats!”

“I’ll just send them to you instead!” Mordred shouted, voice carrying even as the door swung shut behind Merlin.

Outside, Arthur stood, tapping away at his phone. Merlin held out a drink to him, and Arthur accepted it after putting the device into his pocket. “Seemed lively in there.”

Merlin hummed innocently, taking a sip from his drink, before glancing back into the cafe, where Mordred now stood getting lectured by an older woman with long blond hair tied into a braid. His head was bowed, but Merlin could see a smile still curling on his lips. He rolled his eyes. The kid was fine.

Arthur continued to study Merlin, and Merlin finally lowered his drink. “Remember the kid that clicked his tongue at me? Well, I might’ve done something not so polite in response.”

“How you aren’t banned from every establishment in Camelot is beyond me,” Arthur replied.

“You’ve never flipped off a kid?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “Wow, what a saint you are!” He took in a breath, ready to continue, but Arthur cut him off, wrapping an arm around his waist and drawing him into a chai-flavoured kiss. Merlin blinked rapidly when Arthur pulled away. When he focussed once more, Arthur had just licked across his lower lip. “Uh.”

“Don’t think saints kiss like that now, do they?” Arthur asked.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Remind me to never defend you from Mordred again. In fact, every threat he sends you I want printed and framed. You can hang them in your office. Consider it motivation.”

“Motivation for what?” Arthur kept his arm around Merlin’s waist as they began the walk to Avalon. “I’ve already got everything I want right here.”

Again, Merlin rolled his eyes, but his heart jumped in his chest, and he hid in his smile in the next drink from his cup. Arthur noticed anyway, and the grin he wore in response made it all worth it.

...

A/N: Thank you for reading. :3 You can see where I lost some steam, LOL, but I wanted to push through and finish this anyway because I have, like, eleven other WIPs. I'll come back and edit this later, maybe. Probably.

If you enjoyed, please consider liking and especially reblogging this post, because that really makes my day, and maybe leave a kudos and comment on AO3. If you want to, of course. Thanks again for reading! <3

[seokjinsonlyone]

Okay, so I decided to participate last minute. I have a mini-story/daydream that’s been in my mind for three years, so I’ve got a whole story plot at this point. I’m gonna try to keep it short and not so delulu (totally delulu) but I’m assuming this is a safe space for people like me! I write books and I’m a hard BTS stan, so that’s a recipe for ultimate delusion and I’ve come to share lol. So picture this, the year is 2020. Yoongi and I are married with a one-year-old daughter, let’s call her Nova for the story’s sake. We’re currently at the In the Soop location from season 2. The rest of the members are there as well with their partners (inclusivity is a must for me) Nova is the first Bangtan baby, so she’s extra spoiled by the members, particularly Tae and JK. They’re always arguing over who’s had her the most. While they’re fussing and their partners are trying to intervene, Jimin comes in and swoops her away to the gaming room unnoticed. Joonie and his girlfriend are on the second floor of the main house seeking solace in the comfort of their favorite books trying to block out the chaos below. Jin, his partner, and Jimin’s partner are in the kitchen cooking up something delicious for the gang. Hobi and his girlfriend are having a serious dance-off in the entertainment room. You’d think it’s life or death with the way those two were going at it. But in reality, his girlfriend is 10 days overdue and she’s trying to jump-start her labor. While all of this is going on, Yoongi and I are whisked away in the camping van, because the gang would find us if we were in our room, hello! and we’re two introverts and parents of a needy baby. We DO NOT want to be found right now! There’s no talking happening, just an ASMR playlist humming softly in the background and us cuddling in the bed, getting some well-needed rest!

I’ll stop here. I could write more, but like I said, it’d turn into a full-blown book if I did that. Again, I’m not completely insane, I’m an author, so I love creating stories from anything presented to me. I saw your post and just wanted to participate. Hope you enjoyed it and sorry if you didn’t.

you're always welcome here!! this is the official breeding grounds for delusion it's like when the salmon swim upstream to go mate but like for people's whose hearts are in the palm of bangtan's hands LOL

i want you to know tho that i read this with a cup of coffee like it was the morning newspaper like i can just imagine all the chaos and this coupled with all the ptd clips i been seeing on twitter like give me my men back 😭😭😭 like taekook fighting over who got the baby the most and then jimin take her to go like play minecraft or something ugh my heart it reminds of that one namjoon bday live when they was all arguing in the background and jimin was just in front of the camera eating cake like he really always at the scene of the crime this was very comforting to read fr need this energy to continue for the next 2 years 🙏 should you have another scene you'd like to drop off my ask box is always open 🫶

[mushiewrites]

Do you write for Punz or just the Dteam? If just the Dteam then could we get something with lee!Sapnap and ler!George ? Something with it being one of sapnaps first days in the UK and somehow george discovers he’s ticklish?

If you do write for Punz then switch!Punz and switch!Dream first time meeting IRL and they somehow discover each other is ticklish or they’re like streaming and doing a Q&A and one of them sees a question asking if either of them are ticklish and it leads to a tickle fight?

You don’t have to do either of these but if you wanna do either one that’s fine !!! /nf

Hello!! I love Punz sm. I've never written for him, but I'd love to try and start! This is absolutely a jumbled mess of thoughts, but I hope you like it anyway! 💞

(got a bit carried away and it's almost 1K words oops)

"Seriously?! You don't like coffee?!" Dream giggled as he watched the blonde boy next to him stare at him wide eyed and in disbelief of his distaste for everyone's favorite morning beverage.

"It's literally bean water, Punz, it's disgusting. The smell is horrendous." Dream scrunched his nose up just thinking about it. Punz let out a laugh and shook his head, looking away from Dream and back at the screen in front of them.

The two had met IRL and decided to do a surprise stream - they mostly were doing it as a means of having something to do, but also to watch Twitter freak out and flock to Twitch as the notification went out that Dream was live. So here they were, an hour into stream and having accomplished nothing on the hardcore minecraft world they randomly spawned into. It was mainly just something on the screen at this point for the chat to watch as they continued to ask questions.

"Are either of you ticklish?" Dreams ears went red as he heard Punz read the question out loud, suddenly feeling like his whole body somehow got more sensitive just from hearing the word. He chuckled, rolling his eyes and scrunching up his nose again, playing it off as being a silly question.

"What am I, a toddler? No, of course I'm not ticklish." Dream scoffed, refusing to look at Punz but sensing the other staring at him with his eyebrows raised. He heard Punz let out a little huff of a laugh beside him, looking back towards the computer and reading chat.

"Dream, it seems like everyone thinks you're lying," Punz laughed, turning to look back at Dream, who now had his arms crossed against his chest, pressing closely to his sides as much as he could. "Chat, I think I should test this, don't you?"

"No no no no-hoho, not necessary!" Dream couldn't help the stream of nervous giggles that bubbled up his throat as he watched Punz hold his hands up, reaching them towards his sides with wiggling fingers. Dream turned in his seat until he was facing Punz, grabbing his hands to stop him but still unable to look up into his eyes.

"Chat, Dream LITERALLY is a tomato right now, I wish you could see him. I think it's also important to point out he's also currently holding my hands still, and if that doesn't scream 'ticklish' then I don't know what does."

"No it doesn't, you're an idi-OT PUNZ NOHOHO!" Dream tried his hardest to keep his cool, but was unable to control himself when Punz suddenly broke his hands loose, grabbing at Dreams sides, tummy, and wherever else he was able to access from their current position.

"Oh chat, Dream is DEFINITELY ticklish! I don't even have to ask if you can hear, he's so LOUD." Punz giggled, continuing to walk his fingers along Dream's sides as the green eyed boy did his best to curl into a ball, unfortunately trapping the offending fingers against his tummy.

"OKAY OKAH-AY I AM TICKLI-ISH PLEASE PUNZ STAH-AHP!" he tried his best to straighten his back to allow Punz to remove his hands from his stomach, but squealed when Punz instead shot his hands down to squeeze along Dream's knees. He kicked his legs out, finally getting some momentum and flinging his chair back away from Punz.

He narrowed his eyes at Punz, who was busy laughing and reading out things that chat were saying about how adorable Dream was as he took in deep breaths. He took this as his opportunity to lunge forward, skittering his fingers against Punz's ribs. The reaction was something Dream was not expecting.

"NO-OHOHO DREAM PLE-EHEHEASE DON'T!"

Dream couldn't help but feel accomplished as Punz slid down his chair, his arms pressed down against Dreams hands, only further trapping them there. Dream continued to squeeze up and down Punz's ribs and sides, sometimes squeezing at his hips just to see them buck and hear Punz let out high pitched squeals.

"Not so funny, now is it, Punz?" Dream snickered, watching Punz try and squirm out of Dream's hold with no success. Punz had his head thrown back against the seat, eyes twisted shut as he tried to hide his face in his shoulder, embarrassed about how sensitive he was. Dream turned his attention back to chat, smiling as he read out comments to Punz to further tease him.

"Oh look, Punz, the chat are saying you DEFINITELY sound ticklish. Are you ticklish? I can't really tell." He watched as Punz squirmed harder, laughing louder and trying to block out Dream's voice and the flustering teases. Eventually, Dream took pity on him and let him slide down onto the floor, giggling as he flopped onto his back with his hand on his chest, taking deep breaths in between the giggles that escaped every now and then. Dream rolled his eyes fondly down at Punz, helping him up before bringing his attention back to the chat as Punz settled back into his seat, fixing his hair.

"Okay chat, you have somehow successfully created a tickle fight. Now you know your answer. Let's move on and never speak of this again."

[redd956]

Things I do to help me focus on my writing, get into the atmosphere, and keep writing!

I often times see fellow writers lamenting over not being able to keep to writing, start a page, or fully become enveloped into their atmospheres

I don't have that problem very often, so I decided to watch my actions when going to write my personal pieces for school and mad self indulgence to see if I have anything that could be of use for my fellows. Here's some ideas to play around with~

Atmospheric Playlist

Atmospheric playlist on YouTube, or self made ones have become a lifesaver when it comes to getting engrossed into the atmospheres I'm writing about. No matter what it is, there's always a playlist or set of video game OST set on loop that can easily help one get engaged with the atmosphere they're writing.

This can go for characters too. Make character playlist, put them on in the background, and write. It's done wonders for me.

Apocalyptic wintery wasteland -> Winter Storm Ambience for 10 Hours

Meeting up in a café during a rainstorm -> Rainy café ambience with jazz playing from a jukebox

Creepy haunted spooky -> horror video game spooky ambience

(P.S. The real world can be just as inspiring)

Distracting Myself Properly

Let's admit it, sometimes we need to be distracted. Whether it be taking breaks, letting the mind wander and breath, or when you just can't help yourself. I find myself usually opening YouTube about three to four paragraphs in, and before I know it I'm now invested in a 4 hour long Minecraft stream despite not even going on to follow on whatever SMP I stumbled across then.

So one day while writing my wintery storm ambience ran out of time, and I was getting frustrated with how to write the threat of the cold, despite knowing it personally myself. So it was distraction time! Then I remembered an old video essay that thoroughly discussed the fear and dangers of the cold.

Instead I watched that, felt renewed with ideas on how to write the threat of the cold, and was able to go right back to writing after I finished it (really even started writing while it played in the background)

So that's what I mean-

Distract yourself properly, and watch things related to the topic and conversation that you happen to be writing about. Pick things that get your inspiration flowing, and the creativity sparking. No one when to stop though. Sometimes and often times real genuine breaks are needed.

Input to Output

In order to output, there needs to be an input. By that means in the fields of creativity, we need to consume content in order to create content.

I had to learn that the hard way. The brain becomes burnt out on creating, and can get burnt out so very quickly. It wants content that isn't made by it sometimes y'know?

So what to do? Consume. Watch a movie, a TV series. Read a new book. Play a new game. Scroll through that web comic you've been wanting to finish. Flip those pages to the manga you promised yourself you would finish.

Go get that input so that you can output

Follow that damned itch

You're sitting in the living room, mindlessly watching a TV show you don't even like, when suddenly it hits you. The itch! Oh the cursed itch to write, and to write a lot. You now suddenly want to write as much as possible. But maybe you should finish this episode that you don't even like-

Wrong! Follow that damned itch when the perfect chance arises. You're not trapped in class, or at work, or anything similar (although the itch doesn't wait for perfect timing always). It's struck you at an amazing time, go get it!

What are you waiting for!? The motivation has hit you! No one knows when it will again. I promise you some very amazing syntax could be waiting you right now as that itch radiates in your palms.

[silly-mouse]

Boss series just has me thinking so much sorry for all these.

Benchtrio teaching boss how to play Minecraft

Cooking/baking with boss

Boss befriending all the cats while Ranboo just wanted to walk to the store to get some gummies and suddenly it’s just this hour long walk

this ask is literally so old but I'm trying to get motivated to write again and had this like 3/4 done so let's goo (~450 words)

“Is there something you should tell me?”

You hummed a questioning noise as a lean gray and white tuxedo cat used your offered hand as a stepping stool, climbing your arm until he was settled around your shoulders like you were the villain in an animated movie about mice. “Like what?”

“Like you’re secretly a cat deity.”

You snorted at that, resuming your walk as if the stray was just another accessory to your outfit. Ranboo was pretty sure it’d been at least half an hour since the two of you set out for junk food and sodas, and you still hadn’t found the convenience store, but when Tubbo texted asking if they’d died, Ranboo just sent back a photo of you with your entourage of stray cats, receiving an ungodly amount of laughing emojis. He half suspected you’d stuffed one of the many pockets on your baggy pants with cat grass before you’d left. “You like cats?”

He nodded, both of your steps slowing so he could pet the cat perched on you without being too rough. “Yeah, I like cats. Love ‘em.”

You gave an approving nod. “Good. I don’t trust people who hate cats.”

You resumed walking as the tom deemed his Uber ride over and disappeared into the bushes. “Why’s that?” 

“Most of the time the reason people give is that cats are assholes,” you mused. “Cats and any other pet are usually only hostile if they’ve been abused, they’re protecting their owner, or they can sense that you’re a bad person. What they really mean is that they can’t make a cat follow orders like a dog does. It’s a sign of poor character.”

You did this sometimes, Ranboo mused. You’d somehow work a life lesson into casual conversation, stated as a fact and brushed past as if you hadn’t said anything remarkable, but Ranboo and Tubbo and even Tommy when you saw him held onto these little nuggets of wisdom. You’d clearly come across every one of them from experience, the only glimpses you gave into your past, and it didn’t make much sense for them to make the same mistakes you had when you were right there. 

“I think cats having more independence makes them even better,” he hummed. “Makes it mean more when they let you love on them. ‘Course, I’ve never seen a cat reject you,” he laughed.

“What can I say, animals are great judges of character,” you snickered. You both stopped on the corner, looking both ways.

“... You know where the convenience store is, right? ‘Cuz I’ve just been following you.”

“Yeah, just another block. Come on, I’ll buy us some slushies.”

[vvatchword]

So I have been writing BioShock fanfiction since the second week of November and I have not stopped. And I mean. I have not fucking stopped. People think I have died. My mother has called me absolutely frantic on more than one occasion because I have stopped looking at my phone and cut off 90% of social media. I wrote 43,000 words in two weeks during November and I wasn’t doing NaNoWriMo.

So you should know if you haven’t been my friend for over a decade: back in 2010 I started working on a BioShock 2 fix-it. And two years, 38 chapters, and 250,000 words later I looked at it and realized it was complete and utter bullshit, then cried for a week and played sad Minecraft and debated whether I should continue writing at all. I even considered deleting the whole thing.

Jesus, I’m glad I didn’t.

I looked at it again last year around this time--just out of morbid curiosity. Most of the novels I wrote between 2008 and 2018 were just... jesus fucking christ. So fucking bad. It’s not uncommon for me to start one of them just to start squashing down into a Shame Puddle. But this thing? There was something so good twinkling in there. Something real and sad and full of yearning, something that ALMOST captured what I find most enchanting about BioShock as a series.

Anyway, I just want to leave this small note here for Future Self, who will definitely be intent on beating up Past Self: remember that you wrote something like 20-22 novels in that ten-year period and honestly? Thank god. Thank god you were okay with sucking for an entire decade. You figured it out. I mean, sure, it took us an unbelievable amount of time but I feel like we flopped out onto a mountaintop, sat up, and were like: wait. Wait a fucking second. How did I fucking get here? I mean I’m very glad I’m here but what the fuck?

It turns out that writing constantly, finishing all kinds of bullshit, being okay with being shit, not taking myself all that seriously, and suffering incessantly are the magic ingredients. So you did good Past Me. Good. ILU.

Anyway. I’m at 166,000 (acceptable) words and this shit is turning into something magical. I kid you not. It’s like magic. It feels like I’m unfolding an endlessly complex vista, and woven throughout is every heartbreaking expression of every agony I’ve ever wanted to scream about, and at the same time it’s full of how much I love human beings.

Of course, I feel like I should just be honest and admit that I just wrote the hottest fucking sex scene I’ve ever done and I’m now furious about it because the story is NOWHERE NEAR finished and I still have to read SO MANY BOOKS and research SO MUCH BULLSHIT so no one is going to be able to see it and maybe it’s not really that good anyway because I’m almost certainly in a honeymoon period. And also maybe I’ll die before I finish it. I hate feeling like I’m sprinting Death. We all know who wins, it’s just, can u just not for like,,,,, three years or so

Anyway, there are five parts. I’m working on the Topside part right now. The character I had thought was milquetoast has turned into something truly special and now I’ve got some Grade A Commentary going on.

Oh, another reason nobody is going to see this: while I’ve been just coasting along doing fuck all, the Internet has turned into Two Acceptable Ratings: G–PG-13 and NC-17/MA. So not only am I going to write something for a nearly-dead fandom, I quite literally have almost nowhere to post this fanfic now roflllll fuck everything

But since I’m nowhere close to being finished, and that’s a case of counting eggs before they hatch, I’m trying to focus on building the Story Bible and reading. The best thing about building a story is the part where you read All the Things and watch All the Documentaries. I’m going to parse the mobilization of America in WW2, research How to Psychiatry in the late 1940s/early 1950s, look up what richies wore in the late 40s/early 50s, and re-read Ayn Rand. I nearly asked you to pray for me but then I realized we should really pray for her because she’s dead and burning in hell if there’s a god. Actually we shouldn’t pray for her as she and her lackies are why we live in substandard hell now. What did that guy on TikTok say? “These people make me wish we could livestream Hell on Twitch”?

[hermioneismyrealname]

Tomorrow (20221215) I have day one of my finals. It's maths.

Mood? Sleepy. Haven't slept in 2 days.

Reason? The last 6 hours I got, I woke up from a dream clawing at my arm and neck because I thought I was 8 again and what happened to me was happening again. SO SLEEP CAN GO FUCK ITSELF!

But after 11 am tomorrow, I will chugg 750ml of black coffee and sleep for 12 hours and start the marathon for biology (20221219), physics (20221221) and chemistry (20221222). Coffee stops me from dreaming.

Preparation? Maths can go to hell.

I've studied and I'm gonna study some more but once the paper is in front of me, the war begins against my brain as I try and pry the knowledge out from the anxiety filled trenches of my frontal lobe.

My body? My chest hurts like fuck.

I keep forgetting to breathe while I'm studying I don't know why. Also doesnt help that my glasses broke and I can't see shit so I'm hunched over my desk like a prawn and have my legs folded cause I'm gay af and can't sit on a chair straight by law.

Emotions? Currently numb.

I know this is going to change when I sit down in the exam hall. I'm just mentally drained. My sources of dopamine that I allow myself is this hellsite (affectionate), some one-shot fluff fics, writing drabbles and learning languages.

My goal? Do my best.

Imma be honest. I feel OK about what I know and I know I can do it, it's just my brain being an ass about it. That sack of flesh tells me to break my ankles for the heck of it, why should I listen to it?

Outcome? To feel proud enough so I don't feel guilty.

I feel guilty a lot. Survivors guilt and mommy issues. I overwork to overachive. I lay down on my bed and feel guilty i havent done enough when i just finished a 6 hour study session. Do more, my brain yells at me. So if I can come out of this like I did what I could, feeling less guilty, I'll be happy.

What do I want to do for the holidays?

Exam first and then think about holidays. But

I want to watch

Between Us (2022) ep 6 and 7

My 12 percent

Not me

Romantic Killer

Blood C

I spit on your grave

Goblin

Maybe rewatch Banana Fish

Space balls

I want to write

My drabbles

That Vegaspete fanfic I've been planning for a while now

That Sapphic story skeleton (idea struck me and I want to post it to *gags**barf**spits* wattpad

Begin copywriting because I'm a broke college student

I want to read

A curse so Dark and Lonely

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again (because it's my Christmas tradition)

Art of war

Maybe the wicked king, idk

I want to play

Minecraft

Potion craft: alchemy simulator

I want to learn languages

Japanese

Thai

Russian

Korean

Welsh

Latin

I want to random research

Anything

And then fritz case

I want to sleep.

I want to practice my forms in self defense. (Im probably shit by now)

I want to go rock climbing.

I want to go for a walk.

I want to talk to my friends and my crush that I've been ignoring for my exams, but like face to face, and give them a big ol hug even though I give really awkward hugs.

I want to eat broccoli and bread.

Didn't I mention sleep?

[nilti-luck]

Day 18-20

Oop

Its been a few huh 😓 I would say Ive been busy but that would be false

Dealing with some judgement from peers, for not being as career focused as they are all the time. I just don’t wanna job search during class im sorry. Or at all. Cause job searching sucks. And idk i should really stop telling people my plans cause that just gives more judgment, like i shouldnt be enjoying myself cause im supposed to be prepping for a career :/

It wasnt anything bad its more just i told a groupmate that i was gonna go home and play minecraft and she just kind looked at me funny and said she was gonna study which… what tf are you studyin right now, school started two days ago.

But i did build a bunch in minecraft! Started on the basement wine cellar, and did a bunch of exploring for the new modded seeds!

And im drawing again! I really wish i knew how to draw people but im gonna wing it till i make it

I wanna write more as well but im still feelin down about the whole perceived judgement about not doing career/academic focused things in my free time. Idk ive never felt the want to spend all my time on something i have to do to survive. Like i know im going into a rigorous field and finding a career might be difficult but agh, im so nervous about it. No one has anything positive to say only horror stories about why they wont hire you. I just want a quiet job monitoring satellites or work on a big telescope is that too much to ask

[cripplingparanoia]

Hai!

My name is Daisy. I just turned 20 about a month ago. I’m still trying to figure everything out. I don’t feel like I’ve really gotten very far, but I guess at least I’m not where I started.

I’m working on a book right now. I’ve always wanted to write so much, but then there’s the whole, y’know, writing part…

I’ve felt very lonely for a long time. I always wanted to write to fill that void. I’ve always wanted to get online too. It’s been very difficult to find the right online spaces in my life. When Minecraft was relatively new, I got it on pc for my birthday, so I was allowed to have internet for the first time. That was my first time truly “online”

I joined some servers, and made some friends. We’d write our emails put on two signs to get past privacy restrictions. I even had a Minecraft boyfriend for 3 months! Lmao.

I don’t truly know what ever happened to any off them, but I was so young then anyway.

After that I got really into Pokémon again, hardcore. There was a league who played cards at the mall near my house, so my parents always took me to play. I was on and off with them for a while. Dated a guy from there and he cut his hair so I broke up with him and he went to play Magic the Gathering lol. Then I dated this girl but I really broke her heart bad. I think about it a lot. I also seen a guy from the league at my aunt and uncle’s church it was kinda awkward

That was also around when I got my first phone. It was a Motorola flip phone my grandpa had gotten for my birthday or Christmas. It had internet but using it cost minutes so I mostly used my pc still.

I’m writing this I am realizing there are a lot of parts to my story that seem important maybe but that I’d really rather not touch on and I’m not sure what to do about it.

When I got my first smartphone I was on Amino mostly. A guy who had gone to my school had starting coming to my parents church and he wanted to add me on virtual space. I don’t know what happened but I probably scared him off because I became super cringe after getting that dumb app. Amino wasn’t ALL bad, but there were many bad endings, and I probably would never go back in any serious way.

The internet has always been hard for me. I’m not sure what I should do with it at this point. I know I’m not gonna stop using it. I wish I could. I don’t wish I was born in the past or internet didn’t get made or that y2k would’ve happened. I just wish I knew what to do. That doesn’t only apply to the internet though. In real life, I don’t know what to do either. I spend hours saving pins to boards and listening to music and staring at pretty pictures of girls and nature wishing that I could be those girls dancing in meadows like those and I’m listening to Porter Robinson on my couch in my apartment. I’m looking at pictures of cool fake punk girls with perfect makeup and body and pictures of skateboards and sewers overgrown with plants with a filter and listening to My Chemical Romance and All these things are happening in my head so when I have to pick a new song I’m sucked back into the dull real world and there’s nothing I can do until the skip ad button comes on.

I wish I could just. Do. It.

I wish I could get it right

And I just wish

Maybe someday, I’ll wake up and realize wishing was worth it, that all my wishes came true and I don’t have to worry now

Until then

🌼