#i spent most of today sleeping through the pain

[eye-scream-girls]

I should probably get over that creeping intrusive thought that if I take too long between posting art or fic that I'll fade (away? From relevance? Who knows.)

[aeyumicore]

☾ .⭒˚ she can't come to the phone right now ♡ xavier x afab reader

⋆.˚ ☾ pairing: xavier x afab!reader (very fem!reader)

☾ .⭒˚ genre: smut, porn with very little plot

⋆.˚ ☾ word count: 3.1k (who is she practicing short smuts)

☾ .⭒˚ content warning: mdni, dom!xavier, dark!xavier, ooc!xavier (unless you consider dark xavier canon), jealous!xav, vaginal sex, prone bone, slight voyeurism, light choking, breeding kink, jealousy, sex while on the phone, hair pulling, squirting, unprotected sex

⋆.˚ ☾ image link: https://x.com/honiraccoon/status/1758152675500380654?s=20 (it's nsfw so i highly rec checking it out bc i can't put it here LOL)

☾ .⭒˚ a/n: HELLO bet you didn’t expect me back so soon! I am back with a SHORT smut this time, based on this amazing ovulating inducing fanart @/honiraccoon on twit/x made (with their permission of course). I’ve attached the photo below :’) go support them and their art!

this is very dom and ‘dark’ (if you’ve seen the glitches) xavier. the smut itself is not that dark!! if you’re not a fan of this version of xavier you will not enjoy this.

also header is from @/osk_purinnumee twitter <3

⋆.˚ ☾ 18+ only ☾ .⭒˚ minors dni ⋆.˚ ☾ 18+ only ☾ .⭒˚ minors dni ⋆.˚ ☾ 18+ only ☾ .⭒˚

Honestly, you had absolutely no idea how you ended up in this position. After not seeing Xavier for several days, having been sent on different missions this week, he and you finally had a coinciding day off. And so you’d spent the most perfect day together, complete with morning cuddles after sleeping in, a homemade breakfast, and a fruitful day at the arcade.

You couldn't stop thinking about the signature Xavier smile you’d gotten to see all day, soft and pure, just like Xavier himself. But this was not the gentle and adoring Xavier you’d seen all day, the Xavier you’d come to know and love. 

You found yourself naked, with your stomach pressed firmly into Xavier’s plush mattress and your feet planted on the ground at the feet of the bed, back arched so deeply it might snap. He was pressed so deeply and harshly on top of you, his feet planted right behind yours. He’d pulled so many orgasms out of you already and showed no signs of relenting, his pelvis smacking your ass repeatedly as he forced himself in and out of you.

"X-Xavier, I c-can’t come anymore, please,” your voice was hoarse from screaming, unable to keep up with Xavier’s insatiable vigor. You had no idea what had gotten into him today. It’d been a relatively stress-free day, but he seemed to be using your bodies to relieve some kind of intense emotion built up inside of him.

"Yes you can, I know you can,” he cooed, his mouth right into your ear as his body crushed you against the bed, "You’re a good girl aren’t you?”

His hands gently grabbed a fist full of your hair, urging you up so your cheeks pressed against each other. You cried out at the sensation, "Y-yes, I’m a good girl.”

The wet sounds of his cock ramming in and out of your abused cunt filled the room. Xavier’s grip was tight on your scalp and on your waist, and you were sure you’d have bruises in the shape of his fingers the next day.

"You’re my good girl, right?” he groaned out as he removed the hand from your waist to lift you by hooking his arm around your stomach, so that your ass arched higher into the air. At this angle his thick length entered you so deeply that it felt like he might burst through your cervix. Your eyes squeezed shut as your tongue slipped out, panting against the brute force of his thrusts. Though his tone was dominating and demanding, you couldn’t help but notice a sliver of insecurity lacing his words. 

He tugged at your hair, and you yelped at the slight pain bleeding into the pleasure Xavier was giving you. He repeated, this time more demanding and threatening, "Whose good girl are you?”

Your eyes snapped open as his thrusts pushed through every corner of your poor pussy, ravaging every single inch of you. You forced your brain to focus on his words, his rare domineering attitude driving you absolutely insane, "Yours Xavier! M’your good girl.”

You felt him harden even further at your words. His voice against your ear is deceptively gentle, "Really? Then why was my good girl so preoccupied with her phone today?” his words are so domineering and possessive, you find yourself clenching at the thought of his adorable jealousy.

So that's how you found yourself in this position. 

"H-hah, m’sorry xav. Jeremiah kept – ah – texting me today to—”

Xavier cuts you off, his thrusts stuttering briefly, "Jeremiah? He was the one you were – hah – texting all fucking day?”

"Y-yes but he was just sending me, ahhh, stupid ph-photos of different animals with kn-knives,” you sputter out, nails digging into the fitted sheet of his mattress. You almost wanted to laugh at how comical it all sounded but the feeling of him inside of you rendered you a speechless mess of sweat, cum, and ecstasy. 

"Is that so?” and with that, Xavier fucks you with an unprecedented pace. He thrusts so hard your ass ripples against his pelvis and your thighs struggle to stay upright as he presses further into your aching body. You can feel yourself slowly succumbing to the exhaustion of four orgasms, a fifth in the distant horizon.

"You are mine,” he all but growls into your neck, his fingers digging into the delicate skin of your throat. You're jolted back to consciousness at the feeling of his hand closing into your airway, deliciously cutting off your breath. Xavier’s rarely this aggressive and brutal. Sure he’d love to take the lead as often as he surrendered it to you, but this was a whole different Xavier. And you were positively obsessed.

“I’m the only one who gets to see you like this,” he demands against the shell of your ear, using his canines to graze your earlobes. You shiver at his words, cunt clamping down onto him. He moans in response to your grip, but only driving deeper and harder. 

His hard abdomen continued to mold perfectly into your arched back, bending your body into mind numbing proportions. He releases your waist, causing you to slump back into the bed. Instead wraps his arm around both your breasts, squeezing to the point of seeing black spots in your vision. 

The force of his thrusts causes your body to rock onto the bed under his large and imposing stature. Every single push made your clit brush against the soft bed sheets, stimulating you beyond belief. You were sure Xavier’s sheets were absolutely filthy from the spend of your multiple orgasms, smearing all over them as he pushed your body to its limits. 

As you continue to moan uncontrollably for him, Xavier refuses to stop whispering filthy praises into your ear, driving you closer and closer. 

"You’re so beautiful like this, your body was made just for me, right?” 

You nod feverishly, his words going straight to your cunt. It wasn’t often you got to witness this side of Xavier and you were living for it. 

"M’all yours xav, no one else’s ever,” you choke out, the force of his cock deep in your throat.

His head dips down, pressing wet kisses into your shoulder blades before biting down and sucking brutally hard, and then licking at them soothingly. Xavier smiles, admiring the hickies forming on your trembling soft skin, marking you as his. 

"If only Jeremiah could see you like this. Maybe he would realize you’re mine, huh?” 

You wanted to retort, reassure him that he had absolutely nothing to be concerned about, but your brain could only focus on his massive cock claiming every part of your throbbing cunt. He’d rendered you absolutely fucked out, a vessel of ecstasy and a means to pleasure himself. Your brain fought to form words, to no avail. Only the most primal parts of you remained, capable of moaning and screaming for him and nothing more. 

You try to speak again, but before you can get anything out the sound of your phone on the bed beside your slick bodies rang out. The screen lit up and through your fucked out haze and tears in your eyes, you could vaguely make out Jeremiah’s contact photo lighting up the screen.

"Speak of the devil,” Xavier grits out. Despite the annoyance in his voice you can also make out the faintest hint of mischief. 

"Pick it up love,” he whispers almost tauntingly, thrusts still unrelenting, "We can’t ignore our poor Jeremiah can we?” 

While you can tell his words are laced with jealousy and faint bitterness, you know Xavier cares about Jeremiah and trusts him fully. It really felt like he was just, for once,  giving into his primal urges, and enjoying the hell out of it too.

You shook your head no, doing your best to push your phone away.

"No?” Xavier asks, amused, "But I thought it was urgent that you respond to him immediately.” 

You want to roll your eyes at his childishness, but before you can do anything, Xavier snatches the phone from beside you, slowing his rhythm to a languid roll of his pelvis against your flushed ass.

"X-Xavier—“ but he cuts you off with a pointed thrust that knocks the wind out of you, his thick length absolutely rearranging your guts. You whine at the blinding pleasure, almost forgetting the fact that Xavier was picking up your cell phone, while he was inside of you. 

"Hello?” Xavier answers cooly, as if he wasn’t knee deep into your cunt. He holds the phone to his ear, laying down into the arch of your back. His cheek is pressed against yours, his hot breath blowing into your burning skin while he speaks, as he continues to ravage you. 

Your eyes widen as you realize he didn’t just decline the call, and that he was actually on the phone. But Xavier reads you like the back of his hand, covering your mouth with his palm before you can protest. He grips your face gently, but not allowing a single word to come out beyond the muffled sounds of your sensual moans. 

"Oh, hey Jeremiah. Y/n forgot her phone and is currently occupied by me right now,” Xavier speaks calmly, but the increased passion in his thrusts send your eyes reeling into the back of his skull. His words hold a suspicious double meaning, and you pray Jeremiah doesn’t catch on. Similarly, you desperately hope that the loud wet sounds of his pelvis pounding into you can’t be heard on the phone, cause they ring so loudly in your ear.

Every time you try to speak, Xavier’s grip on your face gets tighter and his pace gets rougher, harder. It’s like he’s trying to force the lewd moans out of your mouth, like he wanted Jeremiah to hear everything he was doing to you, to hear the sound of his skin slapping into yours. Strangely enough, the risk of it all intensifies the pleasure ten-fold. You tighten around Xavier as you continue to leak everywhere.

Xavier swears inexplicably under his breath, though you’re sure Jeremiah can still hear it, "Squeezing me so fucking tight.” your eyes squeeze shut at the excitement and embarrassment of Xavier’s inability to contain his own pleasure. Or perhaps, he didn’t contain it on purpose.

As if to punish you, Xavier gives you a deliberate and pointed thrust, letting his cock angle upwards into your g spot while his body pushes you down so your clit drags against the bed, forcing the most vulgar sob out of your lips, bordering between a strangled cry and a mewling whimper. Simultaneously, his hold on your chin loosens and he slips his index and middle finger into your waiting mouth. His actions cause your previously muffled moans to ring out completely unrestricted.

Your eyes widen as you realize there is absolutely no way Jeremiah didn’t hear that. It seems like you’re correct because Xavier’s soft voice pierces through the thick sexual tension in the air.

"No. That’s the sound of a kitten,” you can hear the grin in his voice as he continues to roll his hips into you, his fingers toying with your tongue. You vaguely hear Jeremiah’s muffled voice through the phone, doing your best to keep your sounds at bay. And failing miserably. 

"Okay, bye.” Xavier tosses your phone back on the bed, kneeling back into your body and into your neck.

"Do you think he bought that?” Xavier’s grinning again, and you are certain he’s teasing you. 

"Xavier!” you cry, the mortification settling in with the pleasure, both feelings fighting to dominate your consciousness. 

“I told you, you’re mine. Jeremiah needs to know that,” he grumbles breathlessly into your ear, nibbling on your earlobe. 

"M’yours xav, everyone knows that,” you cry out. Xavier moans out in satisfaction, and you feel his cock twitching inside of your gummy walls. His pace grows erratic as his length swells inside of you, and you can tell he’s so close to coming undone. 

His husky groans by your ear fuel the fire of your own orgasm, stoking the burning embers until they threaten to burst into a full blown wildfire.

"Sh-shit you’re close huh love? Getting so damn tight around me,” Xavier grunts, biting into your neck. Suddenly he picks your phone back up and you can distinctly see the flash shining down on the bed below your bodies. 

"X-Xavier?” you moan, completely blissed out, unable to turn your head to see what he’s doing. He lifts his body off of yours and grips your waist with one hand, pushing you down harder on his erection.

"Don’t worry baby, just taking some videos for our dear friend,” he mutters and you hear the distinct beep of your phone starting a recording. You try to protest but Xavier’s pace becomes unrelenting and you’re only able to moan out his name once more.

"You gonna come for me, my love?” his voice is far away, clouded with intense lust. His grip on your waist tightens as he watches the ripples of your flesh against his viscous pounding. Your back arches at his words, cunt tightening in anticipation of your climax.

"M’so close xav, gonna cum s-soon,” you wail, letting your body tighten around him, wanting him to cum with you. 

His hand leaves your waist and presses against the bulge on your tummy, "Can you feel that love? I’m right here. Should I put a baby in here? Think it’ll fit?”

You squeal at his words, the pure filth dripping off of them like gasoline to the wildfire that is your impending orgasm, raging through every inch of your body. Your pussy squeezes around him again.

"Ffuuck, I think that’s a yes, huh baby? Want me to cum inside you?” he’s panting desperately as he fills you repeatedly, "Fuck – you would look so beautiful with my baby –  hah –  inside of you.”

In your fucked out state, you nod excitedly, wanting nothing more than to be filled to the brim with his essence, everywhere. You could worry about the repercussions after.

"Then everyone will know you’re mine huh? Right baby?” you nod again, your voice nothing more than a strangled moan. 

"Say it for the camera love, let him know,” he encourages, his voice deep and throaty. He doesn’t say who, but you know exactly who Xavier is referencing.

Though you don’t want to indulge his jealousy, you find yourself unable to deny the man who was guts deep in your womb. And so you cry out, "M’all yours xav, please. Need you t’cum inside. I’m a g-good girl, I deserve your cum, please.”

Your phone shakes in Xavier’s hands as your words set him off, "Fuck, don’t worry baby, s’all for you. Gonna give it all to you ’kay? You ready love?”

You tighten in response, signaling that you’re about to fall into the chasm of your orgasm. 

"X-Xavier m’cumming,” you wail, gripping onto the sheets for dear life, your ass grinding deeper into him, back arching into the bed. Your body trembles as the climax overtakes you. Your vision spots as the sensitivity of multiple orgasms wrecks your body. The pressure in your guts is so intense, threatening to explode, and you feel yourself release all over Xavier’s groin. The sensation was so new and foreign it had your brain reeling, trying to grasp onto this new ecstasy your body was falling into. 

"H-holy shit did you just squirt on me?” Xavier groans out, still recording the sight of your ass against him. And he thanked god he was recording at all, able to capture the sight of you squirting all over him. 

“I-I think so xav, m’sorry,” you cry, still quivering around his brutal thrusts. The soaked friction of the wet skin between you two splashes and your cheek burns in embarrassment. You’d never squirt before, and you were mortified. 

"No,” he grits breathlessly, almost threateningly, "Don’t be sorry. Fuck, need to see you do that for me again.” you hear the click of the recording shutting off, and your phone bounces back onto the mattress. Xavier grabs your waist with both hands and thrusts sloppily, cock spasming in your tight walls. 

He groans through every last thrust, and you cling onto consciousness, riding the last waves of your orgasm. Xavier falls back in place on top of you, wanting to be as physically close to you as possible when he finished. His abdomen pressed into the arch of your back and his chin dug into the crook of your neck. With one final savage stroke, he spills everything he has into you.

Xavier shivers through his orgasm, rope after rope of milky white essence dripping into you. You can feel every pump of his warmth inside you. He thrusts languidly a few more times for good measure, wanting it to reach as physically deep as possible. He’d be damned if he let a single drop go to waste.

Your legs give out and you rest yourself entirely on the bed while Xavier rests on top of you, supporting most of his weight with his arms propped on the bed, still caging you in. He presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder, then your neck, and then your cheek.

"You’re going to make such a good mommy one day,” Xavier murmurs into your ear, rubbing slow and soothing circles into your ribcage. 

Your heart squeezes at his words, and simultaneously your cunt around his softening cock. Xavier hisses at the overstimulation, "Fuck you’re going to squeeze every last drop out of me love. You like the idea of being a mommy huh?”

You nod sleepily, losing your grip on consciousness, "Mm, slipping out Xavier.”

Xavier pulls out of you with a groan, and you whimper at the feel of the release dripping down your thighs. He picks you up gently so your legs no longer hang off the bed and then flops down beside you, tucking you into his chest.

You sigh contently against his softly heaving heart. You feel Xavier moving around, while still keeping his arm wrapped around you. You force your eyes open so you can see what he’s up to, and find him unlocking your phone, the light illuminating his face in the darkening room. 

"Xav? What are you doing?” you mumble sleepily, nestling back into his warm body. 

"Just sending some videos,” Xavier whispers, stroking your hair with his free hand. 

Your eyes fly open and you sit up to face him, "Xavier! Absolutely not!”

He grins mischievously at you, "Relax love, I just sent them to myself.” the reassuring smile he gives you reminds you your soft, adoring, and gentle Xavier is back. But you can’t help but anticipate the next time you’ll see that side of Xavier again.

Bonus: some of the pics that Jeremiah was texting mc:

© aeyumicore 2024. please do not steal ♡

taglist: @queenashen @kttriangle @lyssa-211 @jeikeun

[babyleostuff]

let me go | choi seungcheol

author’s note | tbh i had such a hard time writing for him BECAUSE I MISS MY DARLING CHEOL and i can’t stand the thought of him being in painnnn. i want him to be happy and healthy and i want him to be back with the boys, i hate it hereeee

“Stop moving so much,” Seungcheol whined, his words coming out slurred due to his cheek being pressed against your stomach. 

“But I really need to go to the bathroom, Cheol,” you sighed, looking down at the blond mess that was crushing your tummy. 

Ever since your boyfriend got the surgery done, he was even clingier than he used to be. Not that you could blame him, he spent most of his days alone in bed, so naturally his clingy side would shine through and he’d do everything he could to keep you in bed longer. 

You saw how a couple of times he scrolled through the group chat and looked at the pictures the members sent with envy. He’d do anything to be able to get up from that damn bed and join them in the practice room. 

“Darling, you really need to let me go,” you said. 

His fluffy hair bounced as he shook his head and wrapped his second arm around your waist, to make sure that you wouldn’t slip away. Not like that was possible, he could tackle you with ease, even with a torn ACL. 

You sighed, not knowing what to do. If you could, you’d gladly spend the whole day with him, but the both of you knew you had your own responsibilities and you couldn't just abandon everything for the next months just to stay with him (no matter how much you wanted to do that). 

“Choi Seungcheol, let me go,” you said, trying to wriggle out of his grip. 

“Don’t call me that,” he whined once again, nuzzling his head further into your stomach. 

“Then let me go.” 

“No. You'll just leave then,” he said, but loosened his grip on you. He lifted his head to look at you and he couldn’t have looked more adorable. 

A well- known pout adorned his face, while his hair was a big mess and cheeks were rosy from sleep. Even though he looked like that everytime he woke up, an unusual hint of sadness was prominent in his eyes. 

You put your palm against his cheek, leaning in to place a kiss on his exposed forehead. 

That’s how he wanted to stay for the whole day - in your arms, enveloped by love and comfort, the only thing that made him forget about his knee and the pain he was experiencing. 

“I have to go, Cheol,” you said, pecking his forehead once again. “But I’ll come back in a couple of hours. I always do, you know that,” you put a finger under his chin to lift his head up to your level. 

“I know, darling,” he sighed, and lifted himself up to sit with a grunt. 

You could hear your own heart breaking at the sight of him being so helpless. A week ago he was playing football with Mingyu and Jeonghan and now he couldn’t even sit up on his own. 

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends. 

“Stop,” you said softly, placing your hand on top of his. “I know this is hard for you, I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now,” you gently ran your finger through his messy hair, soothing the previous tugging of his. 

“But remember that you’re not alone in this and even though you can’t be with the boys right now, they're not angry with you. You didn’t let anyone down Seungcheol. Stop blaming yourself, it was an accident.” 

His shoulders hung low, not convinced by your words. And it would take him some time to believe that, you knew that. 

“I just miss the guys,” he said. 

“I know. But they miss you a lot too, baby.” 

As you sat in silence, a simple idea popped into your head. 

What if you planned an extra monthly meeting? They could all gather at Seungcheol’s place and he would have a surprise, he’d certainly be happy with. If that didn’t make him feel better, nothing would. 

“You can go now, you know,” he said quietly, avoiding your eyes. 

“You know what? I’ll take a day off today.”

[ponderingmoonlight]

can i request geto and reader having an argument and reader coming back home drunk venting to geto about the argument they had🩷🎀

Getting back home drunk after an argument with Suguru Geto

Pairing: Geto x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,1k

Synopsis: You always supressed the pain in your heart when your boyfriend dumps you for his best friend again. Until one day you've had enough. Until you get uncontrollably drunk to forget your fight.

Warnings: hurt to extreme comfort, language, reader being drunk lol

Hope you like what I came up with love, let me know what you think 🤍

„Hey sweetheart.“

Oh, how much you longed to hear his voice again, how long you’ve waited for him to come back. When was the last time you really saw your boyfriend? To be honest you lost count a long time ago. It shouldn’t bother you this much that he’s gone for so long. After all, Suguru is a special grade sorcerer, one of the best jujutsu sorcerers out there apart from Satoru Gojo himself. It’s only logical for him to be out on missions every free minute.

But there’s also Satoru. Satoru who’s busy himself. Satoru who steals your boyfriend every free minute. You tried to brush this ugly feeling away more than once. Are you really jealous because your boyfriend spends more time with his best friend when he’s around than with you in general?

Normally, it doesn't affect you this much. But since you haven’t spent more than 2 hours in a row with your beloved boyfriend apart from missions here and there, you can’t help but feel that violent sting in your heart when Suguru begins to pack his bag in front of your eyes.

“Are you leaving again?”

You desperately try to hunt away the petty tone in your voice, the feeling of frustration crawling up your spine.

“You know it’s been rough for Satoru these past weeks. As his best friend, I have to be there for him. We want to grab something sweet to eat-“

“You don’t even like sweets that much.”

Fuck, you hate yourself for your harsh tone, for the way your throat begins to ache in upcoming tears. Don’t lose your composure, just accept the fact that he’ll be gone today as well. But something inside you forces you to stand up, to cross your arms in front of your chest, to let your anger run free.

“But he does. What’s the problem, (y/n)? I just want to hang around with my best friend as long as I get the chance. Most of the time he’s on his own, going out on missions each and every day”, your boyfriend explains softly, his hand on its way to gently caress your head-

Until you slap his hand away.

“I’m having enough of this. When was the last time we spend time together, Suguru? You come back home when I’m asleep and leave before I wake up. I’m still your girlfriend”, you press out.

“This is the first time you ever said something about this. We’re still sleeping in the same bed every night”, he replies with low voice, making another attempt to touch you.

No. You can’t stand the feeling of his fingertips brushing against your skin, you can’t stand the stinging fact that he doesn’t seem to miss you the slightest. You take a big step back, blood pulsating through your veins. Why can’t he see that something is wrong in this relationship?

“Go ahead and sleep in Satoru’s bed if that’s enough then”, you bark back at him.

Suguru straightens his shoulders and crosses his very own arms in front of his chest, jaw tight.

“You know what he went through, (y/n). Do you really want me to leave him all alone over some cuddles? That’s pretty egoistic, don’t you think?”

You have to pause for a second, feel the sensation of your heart shattering onto the floor before his words truly hit you. What Satoru went through? You violently bite into the soft flesh of your cheek, desperately try to stop yourself from screaming into your boyfriend’s face. What about you, though? What about you almost getting killed because you tried to stop that man from following Suguru? What about you, caring for Suguru like no one else when Shoko healed his wounds? What about you, staying up each and every night and waiting for his return while he was out with Satoru?

What. About. You?

“You know what, Suguru?”, you mutter, teary eyes fixated onto the floor.

Never in your life did you feel this misunderstood. Doesn’t he miss you a single bit? Doesn’t he miss you lying in his arms while watching a movie, going out and grabbing something to eat? Doesn’t he miss to have you around, to hear your voice? Doesn't he understand that it's more than "some cuddles"?

You swallow hard. Because you miss him like hell. You miss those cuddles more than you ever imagined. And it fucking hurts to feel that he doesn't care.

“Fuck you.”

You can’t have it anymore. With a swift motion you turn on your heel and walk out of his room, ignore the way he shouts after you while hot tears stream down your face. There’s no way in hell you’ll stay here at Jujutsu High. No, you need distraction. And you already know who you’ll call.

“What’s up, (y/n)?”

“Shoko, get yourself ready. We’re leaving in 10 minutes.”

-at the bar-

You mindlessly draw circles into the fifth cocktail of the evening, mind clouded by guilt and alcohol.

“I told you alcohol won’t solve your problems girl”, Shoko comments dryly while sipping on her cola.

“Smoking doesn’t as well and still you’re out there smoking like a chimney”, you reply dryly before taking another sip of your drink just for demonstration.

“Fair enough. All I’m saying is you can’t run away from him.”

“Suguru? I already drank enough to forget his name”, you mutter.

"You just said his name, (y/n)..."

Truth is, you fucking miss him. What time is it? You lift up your drunk gaze, heart still clenched in sadness. Normally, you’d lay right by his side, eyeing him up and down while he’s already sound asleep.

This is not fair. You shouldn’t feel this way, shouldn’t fear to come back home. But you just know that you’ll get greeted by your very own empty bed. And what about the morning after? Shivers run down your spine just by the sheer thought of it. The way you just left him standing there like an idiot must have been hard to swallow for him.

Still…

You ball your hands into fists and empty your glass with one last gulp. He deserved every single word of truth that came from your mouth, he deserved all those things you’ve said.

“One more”, you mumble when the bartender arrives in your foggy view.

“No, that’s definitely enough for her. We gotta get going, (y/n)”, Shoko interrupts gently and pays for your bill while it takes all your inner will to not fall off this sky-high chair in the meantime.

The cold air of the night hits you like a wall, Shoko holding onto you with every bit of strength she has. Suddenly a wave of nausea crushes down on you, the icy air making your lungs burn uncomfortably. Damn, you just want to get home, just want to get into your bed. A glass of water…Yeah, you definitely need to drink something before you go to sleep.

But the sheer sight of Jujutsu High makes you realize that you won’t close your eyes this evening, pictures of your boyfriends’ hardened features still occupying your mind. You hate it. You hate every damn thing about the argument you’ve hard earlier, how unnecessary it was. Did he leave after you in order to see Satoru? The thought alone fills your numb veins with sheer anger again, makes you cross your arms in front of your chest just like you did earlier.

“You’re fine, aren’t you? I don’t want you to choke on your puke”, Shoko comments when you arrive at your doorstep.

Your fingers clumsily fumble for your keys until you finally grab the right one, gifting her a weak smile.

“Will get through it…Get ya ass into bed, Sh-Shoko.”

“You’ll talk things out tomorrow, okay? I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

You watch after her, how she disappears into darkness with one last wave. Then she’s gone, leaves you in the dark that seems to swallow you whole. What are you supposed to do now? All those memories flooding back in, the stinging fact that you don’t know how to act towards your boyfriend in the morning. All you want to do right now is take off your clothes, sip a cup of water and cry until you eventually fall asleep.

“Yeah”, you mumble to yourself while opening the door to your dorm.

“Cryin’ sounds good.”

“Hope you had a pleasant night, (y/n).”

Your heart stops, keys falling to the ground violently. No, this can’t be true. Did that really sound like…Suguru? Your tired eyes dart towards your bed, widen in sheer shock.

There he sits, on the edge with his arms resting on his knees, staring straight through your soul while all you are able to do is standing there like the drunk idiot you are.

“You drank, didn’t you?”

“None of your business”, you bark back at him, exposing yourself with your sloppy words.

“(y/n)…”

He sighs heavy, your name sounding so exhausting coming from his lips that your throat gets tight for a second. With a swift motion he lifts himself off your bed, his silhouette only lit by the moonlight that peeks through your window.

Just when he’s about to wrap his arms around you, you take a step back and almost trip over the bag you dropped onto the floor mindlessly the day before.

“Woah, easy there.”

Of course, he catches you mid-air. Of course, you feel like pudding in his strong arms. His scent hits you with full force, that baggy shirt not being able to hide his muscular frame from your trained eye. Oh, how much you’d love to lick his six-pack, to let your hands roam over his hot back. Why are you always this horny when you drank? But when your hand almost touches his chest, you remind yourself of what happened earlier.

The argument.

“Hope you had a great time with ya best friend”, you jeer at him.

Instead of letting go of you, he pulls you even closer. His eyes are near enough to inspect the colorplay of his chocolate brown orbs. If you stretch out your hand, you can play with his hair…

Get yourself together.

“Lemme go”, you protest weakly, almost tripping over your own feet while trying to get out of his arms.

“(y/n), look at me.”

You can’t escape his command. His eyes meet yours, reflect nothing but sorrow and sadness.

“I’m sorry for what I’ve said earlier. You made me think and I guess you’re right. I’m sorry for not making enough time to see you lately. It’s just that…I’m beyond stressed from all those missions and the fact that these people rely on me while on the other side, I don’t know what I’m fighting for anymore. I feel alone, trapped, lost in my fate. I feel guilty for the fact that this girl had to die, for the things that happened to Satoru…I…I feel like I don’t deserve a girlfriend like you anymore, your cuddles, your love, your food… You sleeping next to me felt so normal and familiar that it was everything I needed, (y/n)…”

Your foggy mind can’t comprehend all those senseless words put together, but his sight…The way his eyes turn glossy makes your heart shatter all over again, makes you wrap your hands around his neck out of instinct.

“No.”

You press yourself against his much taller frame, get lost in his scent, in his hair, in him.

“Please don’t say that. You deserve all the love in the world, Suguru. None of those things are your fault and I get it. Maybe I was the one being egoistic when all I could think about was having you for myself from time to time…”

“You running away in all that anger you supressed so long made me realize how much you really mean to me. I love you, (y/n). And I was the one being selfish when I cut you short because of my own feelings. I promise to make more time for you, at least two evenings in the week, I promise-“

“Shut the hell up”, you interrupt him with a wide grin.

“I don’t understand a word ya say. But I love you too, Suguru. And I want you to promise that we’ll watch a movie tomorrow.”

He sniffs while chuckling in the most precious way, his grip around your waist tightening.

“Oh yeah, what did you think of?”

“I thought about something like…Twilight!”

“I don’t know if I’m able to promise that, (y/n)…”

“You just did! Now, I’m so damn tired, let’s jus’ go to bed…”

Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreoi @tachiharazsstufff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299 @busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru @starlightanyaaa

[sergeantxrogers]

Can you please write something with the idea of y/n asking Bucky if she can tie a pink ribbon around his bicep? Thank you

Request: "Can you please write something with the idea of y/n asking Bucky if she can tie a pink ribbon around his bicep? Thank you"

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: none, just fluff

Note: hooooly shit guys, i've been gone for way too long. hope you enjoy <3

_____

The jingle of keys in the doorknob had you lifting your eyes from your book, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing softly. The quiet whispers of a jacket being taken off, laces being untied, keys being set on the small table beside the door travelled through the apartment, meeting your ears and bringing a smile to your face.

Soft footsteps padded against the hardwood floor, careful to avoid any creaky spots.

"I'm awake, Buck," you called out softly from the comfort of your bed, and you heard him pause his movements. And then continue, a bit quicker than before.

Brown hair and blue eyes popped around the the edge of the door frame, brows furrowed. "It's midnight. Why are you still awake?"

You shrugged, sitting up in bed and setting your book aside. "Dunno, really. Got caught up reading."

Bucky frowned, and stepped into the room, walking over to the bed. "You can't sleep?"

It was a casual question, but you sensed the undertone of worry laced through it, and smiled to yourself.

"Actually, I spent most of the evening redecorating, so I'll probably start snoring as soon as the lights are off."

Bucky's hands reached for yours, grabbing them and bringing them up to his lips as he stood in front of you. One, two, three kisses along your knuckles. One hand, then the other.

"Redecorating?" he murmured against your skin, and you nodded slyly. His eyes narrowed, partially in amusement, partially in curiosity.

You cleared your throat and pulled your hands back, settling yourself back into the fluffy down of your pillows and blankets. "How was work today?"

At your question, Bucky's jaw ticked.

"It was fine."

You studied him for a few seconds, and cocked your head. "Just fine?"

He let out a heavy sigh, then collapsed atop the comforter at the foot of the bed. On nights like this, when he came home later than usual, the tension in his shoulders a bit more prominent than usual, the bags under his eyes a bit heavier, he found it hard to form sentences adequate enough to explain how he felt or what he needed.

Ever since the government cleared him of all charges and his mandated therapy ended, Bucky had taken up a job at the DCSA.

Defense Counterintelligence and Security Agency.

On paper, James Buchanan Barnes was an ordinary, ex-military security guard working for the Department of Defense and the United States.

In reality, the executive branch of the federal government reached out to him themselves and offered him a job doing what they claimed he did best: making people disappear, and making it seem like an accident. He was hesitant at first, unwilling to be the very thing he tried so hard to run away from being, but soon enough, they had made it very clear he had limited options: accept the position, or get thrown in prison for all the charges they claimed to have dropped.

So, for all his hesitating and hatred, Bucky Barnes was the United States government's own personal hitman, killing anybody who posed a threat to the life of the president, his family, or anybody in the Senate.

At least they paid better than HYDRA, Bucky had once joked. You could see, in his eyes, how much it pained him to revert back to his old ways, once again not having a choice.

Bucky cleared his throat, and glanced at you, blinking away the shadows behind his eyes.

"It's fine, sweetheart. I promise. It could have been worse."

Your heart cracked in your chest and you frowned, burying your cheek even deeper into your pillow as you looked at him. "If you say so."

Bucky pursed his lips to the side, then looked toward the door connecting your bedroom to the bathroom. Without a word, he got up, walking towards the bathroom and simultaneously pulling his shirt over his head. You smiled to yourself as you watched him disappear behind the door, flicking the lights on and letting the soft, yellow glow flood the floor of your room. You listened to him shuffle about, letting out a soft sigh as he unbuckled his belt.

His movements paused.

Your smile grew.

"Y/N?" he called out.

"Yes, babe?"

The door creaked open all the way, and behind it stood Bucky, holding his toothbrush in one hand, with a confused look on his face.

"Why is there a pink bow on my toothbrush?"

It took all your strength not to burst into a fit of giggles immediately as you schooled your face into one of nonchalance, and said, "I told you. I redecorated."

Bucky's bewildered eyes flickered from you, to the toothbrush, then back to you. Then he turned to look at the bathroom. And you saw the exact moment in which he realized there were pink bows everywhere. Big, small, light pink, dark pink, neon pink, cotton, silk, linen. A variety of ribbons tied in bows around everything you could think of: toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo bottles, the soap dispenser, the toilet brush, the towel rack, your skincare bottles, his deodorant and cologne.

"Y/N," Bucky said calmly.

"Yes?" you replied, batting your eyelashes innocently.

"Can you please tell me, why, exactly, you decided on redecorating with pink bows everywhere?"

You hummed, then shrugged. "You know, I'm not exactly sure. I just think they make pretty things look so much prettier. I may have gone a bit overboard, though."

"You think?"

You bit back a grin as you watched him shake his head, as if to snap him from his stupor of amusement, and bend over the sink to brush his teeth. You watched him brush his teeth, wash his face, change out of his jeans and into pajama pants. You tracked him as he turned the lights off and sighed, trudging over to the bed, exhaustion creeping into every one of his movements and pulling at him like gravity. You opened your arms wide, lifting the covers as you did so, and Bucky gladly crawled into them, nuzzling his head into your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist and back.

You placed a soft kiss to the crown of his head, and let your arms come loosely around his neck. Bucky said nothing, content to lay in silence and listen to the beat of your heart as it lulled him to sleep.

After a few minutes of you silently running your fingers through his hair, you whispered his name. "Bucky?"

He hummed in answer against your chest.

"You know how I said pink bows make pretty things even prettier?"

You felt, rather than saw, his body pause at the question, and then his head was up and his blue eyes were staring into yours with a puzzled expression. "Yes... why? What's that have to do with anything?"

"Well..."

You paused. All of a sudden, you felt stupid. Bucky's furrowed brows and sleepy eyes urged you to continue.

"I have a pink ribbon under the pillow, actually, and I was... I wanted to..."

"What, honey?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could tie it around your arm."

Bucky paused, blinking up at you slowly, as if he hadn't heard you.

"My arm?"

You nodded.

"Why?"

You shrugged. "Because it's already beautiful, and I want to make it even more so."

He laid there quiet for a moment, and you were about to tell him to forget about it, but then he unwrapped his arms from around you, letting you drop flat onto your back, and shoved a hand beneath your head. Beneath your pillow.

He emerged with a baby pink ribbon in his fingers, the material pliable and soft in his grip, as he handed it to you.

"Go ahead," he said simply.

You gave him a skeptical look. "Really?"

He shrugged with one shoulder. "Why not? Did you think I'd say no?"

You fell quiet, then let out a sigh through your nose, turning over slightly to better reach his arm. His left arm.

You wrapped the ribbon around his bicep, the vibranium cold and unyielding, a stark contrast to the warm pink silk in your fingers. You looped it through, pulling it taut, then let go. You stared at it for a second, then glanced up at Bucky. Leaning in, you pressed a light kiss to the exposed metal right above the bow.

Bucky let out a shuddering breath, then laid down again, this time face to face with you. His fingers traced soft, swirling patterns against the skin of your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and you closed your eyes against the feeling.

"I love you so much," he muttered quietly. "You know that, right?"

You nodded, eyes closed and a smile playing at your lips. "I know. I love you, too. Every part of you."

Bucky loosed a breath that sounded somewhat like a disbelieving breath, and you felt him lean in and press a kiss to your temple.

You fell asleep without even realizing, lulled into dreams by the steady thrum of his heartbeat and his hand stroking your hair.

[writtnbyhan]

Let me take care of you.

PAIRING: han jisung x reader

TAGS: sickfic, idol!han, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 1927

PROMPT: "and just when were you going to tell me about your [injury/illness]?" You're sick and Jisung is worried -- That's the plot.

warnings: mentions of being sick (reader has a cold). Let me know if I missed a warning.

author's note: i don't know where this came from. I had something very different planned for today's post but this came to me in a vision and now i can only think of jisung taking care of his s/o, he's so baby and he's probably so good at taking care of people !!!!! i just wanna be in between his arms !! being cared for !!!

Okay, here’s the thing: you knew you were getting kinda sick. You knew from the way your body ached when you first woke up, from the sore throat and from the general feeling of being unwell. However, you decided it was not a big deal, and that was obviously your first mistake.

It was Jisung’s kind-of-free day, which meant he only had to go to the studio with 3RACHA to work on “some stuff”, as he put it himself, refusing to elaborate claiming that it was a surprise. You knew they were probably working on music for the next comeback even when this one wasn’t even out yet, and that’s why Jisung wouldn’t come clean, wanting to avoid your reprimanding from overworking themselves when they finally have some free time from the studio, only having to comply with the schedules related to the comeback.

On these days, he was usually only busy for a few hours before they got distracted with something random and therefore decided to call it quits, going home and relaxing for a few hours before moving onto the next scheduled activity. Today, Jisung didn’t have any of those, only going to the studio and then straight back home. You didn’t want to ruin what little time together you were getting these days, and you weren’t actually sick yet, so it wasn’t anything you should worry about.

You woke up alone, the other side of the bed unmade from when Hanji woke up, earlier, and went to the gym before the studio. He spent most nights with you, cuddling to make up for the time you weren’t capable of being together due to busy schedules and responsibilities. Everything ached, and the only thing you wanted to do was cover yourself with the sheets and sleep some more. But, you couldn’t do that. You needed to take a shower, clean up a bit, and force yourself to feel better. “Just for today, tomorrow we can be sick,” you told your body as you got out of bed, frowning and closing your eyes when the light coming through the window was quick to cause you a headache.

Shower first, you decided, going for the warm water and hoping it’d help with the pain on your body. It did, luckily. You then brushed your teeth, noticing on the mirror that the bags under your eyes were darker and more noticeable. Yes, you were obviously getting sick. Tomorrow. You were getting sick tomorrow, because today you had to spend the day with Jisung and cuddle with him watching Ghibli movies, it was a need.

After breakfast, you took some ibuprofen and sent Jisung a quick text.

“good morning, baby. hope everything’s going well at the studio, missing you already :)”

Putting your phone down after that, you set out to clean up the apartment, taking more ibuprofen whenever your body was being inconvenient to you.

“hello cutie, we’re actually wrapping up for the day!! going home in 30, love you.” You read the text when ten minutes had already passed since it was received. With a smile on your face, you sent a quick reply, knowing it wasn’t necessary given that he was already coming home, but also knowing that he would sulk if you didn’t reply to his “love you”.

“love you too<3 will be waiting with the popcorn ready.”

Making good on your promise, you started making popcorn and conditioning the living room for

Making good on your promise, you started making popcorn and setting up the living room for your movie plans, bringing all the blankets you could find (which was not actually necessary, but you were starting to feel cold so you thought it’d be better to have those around) and the pillows from your bed.

As you were placing the popcorn on the table with some juice, the door opened, and in came the squirrel-looking boy that was able to put a smile on your face instantaneously, even when you were feeling so ill.

“Hello, my love!” you said, dramatically, bringing a hand to your own chest as if to hold your heart. “I thought you’d never make it, I was left missing you for too long!”

He smiled with that heart-shaped smile that made your heart do spins. You felt dizzy just by looking at him (okay, maybe that was the cold you probably had, but you decided to convince yourself it was Jisung’s fault). “My lady, I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting, shall we begin with our plans?”

You giggled, skipping towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek and drag him to the couch that was currently surrounded by blankets. You chose one and threw it over both of you, getting comfortable in between your boyfriend’s arms with the remote in hand.

Halfway through the first Ghibli movie of the night, you began sneezing.

“’m sorry” you mumbled, getting up to grab some tissues and noticing you felt much more sick than in the morning.

You should tell Jisung, you knew that. But he’d worry, and you didn’t want to cut your night together short.

So, you didn’t. You grabbed the tissues and got back into his arms, kissing his hands when they were in front of you. Jisung freezed when you did that, and you frowned — it was a common gesture between the two of you, why was he reacting like that?

His hand went quickly to your forehead.

Oh, that.

Jisung gasped.

“Baby, you’re burning up.”

He sounded worried, and you sighed.

“I know.” You said. You didn’t actually know you had a fever, but you didn’t want him to make a fuss. You wanted to watch movies together, and cuddle, and sleep. And okay, maybe you had a headache and that had made you grumpy, which was something that always happened when you were sick so Jisung was used by now to your complaints about his caring.

However, despite knowing you always reacted badly to feeling unwell, that comment had made him frown, looking at you while his hand was still on your forehead.

“You knew?” he repeated, clearly agravated by what you had just told him. “And when exactly were you planning on telling me? When you collapsed in the hallway or while I was being forced to bring you to the hospital?”

He was being dramatic, of course, but the sincerity in his worry and his concern made your heart soften a little, so you directed your eyes to the floor, blinking to try and ease the headache that had formed from looking at the screen for too long.

“I didn’t wanna worry you” you mumbled, voice soft and shy. He melted a little at that, his anger dissapearing almost as quick as it had made his way forth.

“Baby, you need someone to take care of you when you’re feeling like this. We could’ve just cuddled in bed so you were more comfortable, and I could’ve been checking on your temperature and your medicine. What hurts?” he asked, giving a little kiss to your forehead before letting his hold around you loosen, clearly having plans of getting up.

You whined at the lost of his warmth against your back, your eyes filling up with unwanted tears at the cold and the loneliness you suddenly felt.

“Hannie…” you cried out, looking up at him, who looked almost bewildered. When he met your eyes, a pout formed in his face. He extended his arms towards you, now standing in front of the couch, and hugged you so you could attach yourself to him like a koala would to a tree. Your hold was weak, so he made sure to keep you safe with one hand on your back while he wrapped a blanket around you as if you were a baby. You knew the plan was to get you to your shared bed so you could cuddle more comfortably and drift off to sleep when you needed it. Problem was: you had needed it for about 15 minutes by now, so hiding your face in his neck and letting his warmth envelop you, you were quick to fall asleep against him, not minding his movements or the sounds around you.

You woke up when it was already dark outside. A wet cloth was on your forehead and you were now in bed, your boyfriend’s hand on your waist and Ponyo playing in the background. You looked to your bedside table and found a water bottle and some pills that you knew you didn’t have in your house. You knew Jisung never wanted to leave your side when you were sick, no matter that you were asleep, so you were sure he had those delivered or asked one of the boys to pick them up for him.

You turned around, letting the wet cloth fall off so as to hide your face in his chest. You felt better after sleeping, and you were sure your fever had subsided because you no longer felt cold, but your throat was still sore and your eyes still stung with the light.

At your movement, Han directed all his attention towards you, kissing your forehead and tightening his hold on your waist.

“Hello, sleepyhead. You need to take some medicine, I asked Chan-hyung to bring it here because all you had was some ibuprofen, and you were running out of it. How are you feeling?” he asked, his free hand caressing your hair and making you feel a lot more relaxed, even when your back still ached and your throat hurt.

“I’m okay,” you settled for, your voice coming out raspy and probably revealing what you were hiding. He chuckled, and you knew he knew what you just said was a lie, so you sighed. “I’m feeling a lot better, but my throat still hurts and my body aches. It’s probably just a cold.” You mumbled the last part against his chest, a subtle way of saying: there’s no need to worry this much.

He nodded, which you knew because you felt his head moving above yours. “Probably. Please, take some medicine so you can feel better faster.”

You did as he asked, taking the pill he was offering you and drinking from the water bottle he had uncapped and handed to you. You smiled at him in thanks, after wincing from the bitter taste of the pill.

“Sorry for ruining or movie date.” Your eyes were sad and he knew you were sincerely sorry. A pout formed on your lips as you thought of when you would be able to have the next one, knowing it’d be difficult to plan out given that the comeback was so close.

“You didn’t ruin anything, baby,” he said, equally as sincere. “It’s not your fault you got sick, and I don’t mind taking care of you — I really like it, actually. Plus, I got to watch the movies while watching you sleep, so… I really don’t mind. I just want you to be okay so we can have more movie dates.”

You blushed at his words, feeling soft and just wanting to kiss him — you both knew you should not do that, for he couldn’t get sick now because he had a lot of presentations and performances to do. You pouted.

“This is so unfair, I want to kiss you so badly,” you complained, and he laughed, kissing your cheek.

“I know, baby, me too. So, take your medicine so I can get all the kisses you owe me.”

[awfcspencer]

Hot Water Bottle || alessia russo x reader

alessia russo x reader

prompt: Alessia takes care of you when you get a painful period.

warnings: period related things

Your body had been sending you signs that your period was approaching soon, your face broke out, you were particularly moody, and your lower back had hurt for the last week. So when you woke up at roughly 6 in the morning after a night of tossing and turning, you realized you had come on during the night, you were not surprised in the slightest. When your monthly visit from mother nature rolled around, your emotions and cravings were all over the place and often times you experienced unbearable cramps. Thankfully you didn’t bleed through onto the bed but you still needed to get up and shower, wanting to clean yourself up. Carefully trying to wiggle out of Alessia’s strong arms without waking her up, you fail miserably as she stirs slightly.

“Where are you going babe?” she asked, raspy voice laced with sleep still and her eyes slightly open, she felt your side of the bed empty.

You now had two options, tell Alessia you had come on and that would lead her to try to skip training and take care of you all day because she knew how rough your cramps were. Or option two, not tell Alessia, as you saw you having your period as a not sufficient excuse for her to skip.

“I am just gonna hop in the shower, woke up early. Go back to bed, you have training soon” you tell her in a whispered tone as you place a warm kiss on her cheek. Alessia simply hums in agreement and rolls over, fast asleep again in a few seconds.

Hoping to relieve yourself of some of the pain in your abdomen, the warm water instantly helps. You stay in the shower till the water begins to run cold. Getting out you grab one of Alessia’s old jumper and throw on a pair of loose sweats, not wanting anything too tight on. For some reason, the cramps you were having today were worsening while you tried to cook breakfast. Your body felt like it was betraying you, taking some tablets to hopefully help the painful shooting stabs in your torso.

Decked out in Arsenal gear, Alessia makes her way down to eat breakfast with you before leaving for training.

“Thanks for cooking baby” she says smiling. Before sitting down to eat, she walks over to where you were cleaning the last of the dishes you had used because you were hungry when you started cooking but by now the food made you slightly nauseous and your stomach hurt so bad that you didn’t even feel like eating anymore. She pulls you in for a hug, her arms pulling you close to her body as a small whimpers leaves your mouth at the sudden contact and the pain in your pelvis.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she immediately is asking, eyes scanning your body rapidly to find some sort of physical injury.

“I’m all good love, just hit my toe on the floorboard” you told her, trying to sound convincing as you lied through your teeth.

You could tell she didn’t believe you and she went to speak but you pulled her in for a kiss to stop her in her tracks and usher her toward the table so she can eat. Breakfast went swimmingly other than that small incident, talking to Alessia about her upcoming game and all sorts of conversations. Next thing Alessia is leaving and you are now alone to curl up on the couch as your cramps have still not subsided.

You feel bloated and uncomfortable, desperately wishing you had told Alessia what was really going on, knowing she would help you feel better. But unfortunately you did not, so you spent most of your day smothering yourself in pillows and blankets trying to get comfortable. You try to relieve some of the pressure by drawing your knees as close to your chest as possible, curling up in a small ball as the day passes you by. You had been in and out of naps, awaking at painful jabs and then eventually falling back asleep. You knew where Alessia kept the warm water bottle but you were in too much pain to move, simply just suffering through it, figuring at some point, the pain would stop.

You don’t hear when Alessia returns home, but she can hear your small whines that left your mouth as you napped.

“Hey baby, wake up.” she softly whispers, gently shaking your shoulder. She pushes the little baby hairs out of your face as she takes notice of your hot body and the contorted grimace on your face.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, her tone laced with concern.

“I came on in the middle of the night and I am having bad cramps.” You reply, tired of lying because right now, you just need Alessia. Another painful cramp whipping through your body, a groan leaving your mouth. Alessia reaches out her hand to hold yours.

“I’m going to go fill the hot bottle and be back with more tablets baby. I promise I will be right back.” she tells you.

She returned with the items she promised to get. The now positioned hot water bottle on your abdomen mixed with the tablets you had taken began to bring relief.

“Baby why didn’t you say something this morning. I would skipped training.” she immediately asks you when she returns but she could tell you weren’t in a position to explain yourself. She slips in behind you on the couch, her chest pressing up against your achy back. Her strong hands gently massage circles into your abdomen. The act is soothing and begins to alleviate some of your pain and discomfort. You hum in response and eventually drift off into sleep. The two of you stayed in that position for a little while until Alessia got up, waking you up.

You whined half heartedly at the lost contact. Now that Alessia was home, you had become increasingly clingy, wanting to be near her as you were in pain.

“I am going to go run you a bath real quick, come upstairs in about 6 minutes okay?” she tells you, giving you a quick kiss before she left for the bathroom.

You met Alessia upstairs, a smell of lavender filling your nostrils. You couldn’t help but smile. Alessia was genuinely such a sweetheart and none of your previous partners had ever done anything like this for you. You notice she has set out new clothes for you, another one of Alessia’s jumper that was your favorite and joggers. Getting in the warm bath, Alessia leaves you to relax. Alessia had come in and check on you a few times to make sure you were still okay and asked if you needed anything. Alessia’s initial massage and the hot bath had helped your cramps subsided a bit, so you get out of the bath, change, and head back down towards Alessia.

Alessia had ordered in your favorite food and turned on Netflix so you two could enjoy a film. Your heart swelled everyday at the simple gestures that really were big gestures for you that Alessia did. You two eat and enjoy one another’s company before calling it a night and getting bed.

“Next time, I want you to tell me baby” she tells you as she pulls you closer to her.

“I know, I just didn’t want you to skip training just because I can’t handle some period cramps.”

“I want you to listen to me baby. I want to be there for you, I like taking care of you, I want to make you feel better. I don’t like when you are in pain.” she explains to you. You listened to her, relaxing more into her hold.

“Thank you baby, for everything.” you whispered to her before you fell right asleep.

[bingbongsupremacy]

Newborn

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: Joel's nervous about holding your new baby.

Warnings: Reader is able to give birth, swearing.

I tried my best not to mention anything very descriptive in this. Pls leg me know of I missed anything. Also I'm taking requests!

♤♤♤♤♤♤

" Fuck! " I gasp, clutching onto Joel's hand. I squeeze him hard. " I don't know if I can fucking do this, Joel. "

This pain is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Red hot flashes course through my body as a new contraction starts up. They're getting closer together.

" I'm so tired. " I groan. Sticky sweat coats my forehead. They say birth is supposed to be beautiful. It doesn't feel beautiful.

" Just a little more, baby. You're almost there. " Joel mumbles. He leans down from his spot next to me and plants a kiss on my sticky forehead.

" You're almost there, Y/N. Just a few more pushes. " Maria encourages. Her hands are cool against my warm legs. " Take some deep breaths. You can do this. "

I don't want to do this anymore. It's been fucking hours.

The sharp pain returns once again, this time stronger than before. I let out a painkiller shout, digging my nails into Joel's hand.

The world blurs with instructions from Maria and gentle words from Joel blending together with my screams.

" The baby's here! " Maria's voice sounds distant as blood rushes through my head. A sharp cry echoes through the room.

My baby. Our baby.

The pain begins to slowly calm down and I'm finally able to catch my breath.

" Good job, baby. Good job. " Joel presses another kiss to my face, his words mumbling against my skin.

" It's a girl. " Maria announces. She carefully walks towards us before gently placing the newborn on my chest.

I stare down at the small wiggly baby on my chest. She's perfect.

Her body is warm and slipper. I gently put a hand on her back, worried she could somehow slip off of me and get hurt.

" She's beautiful. " I whisper.

Her fingers are so small. She's so tiny. I'm scared of breaking her.

I can't believe something so innocent and beautiful can exist in a world like this. A world so dark and hurtful.

" Hi baby. " I gently run one of my fingers along the side of her face. " I'm your mom. "

■■■■■■■

" She looks just like you. " Joel mumbles quietly, his gaze fixated on the baby sleeping in my arms.

Soft grunts escape her little lips every few minutes, a beautiful reminder that she's finally here.

" She's got your eyes. " I reply.

Joel's been fairly quiet the past few hours. He's spent most of his time observing the baby.

" You haven't held her yet. Do you want to? " I ask, looking over at him.

He tenses slightly, a conflicted look flashing over his face. " I don't know. "

" You don't know if you want to hold your baby? "

He's been acting strange today. I'd offered to let him hold her earlier when Ellie came by, but he said he wasn't ready yet.

" I'm scared of hurting her. What if...what if she gets turned? What if I can't protect her? " Fear is evident in his eyes. " I'm old, Y/N. What if I let her down like I let down Sarah? "

I reach out to touch his arm. " Joel, you didn't let down Sarah. You did what you could. You can't blame yourself for something you had no control over. And you won't let down this baby. You haven't let down Ellie. You've fought tooth and nail for that little girl, and I know you'll do the same for our baby. " I gently stroke my thumb over his calloused hand. " You are the strongest man I know. And you're not old, Joel. You're seasoned. "

Joel lets out a laugh. " Seasoned. What the fuck. "

I laugh quietly, trying not to wake up the sleeping baby in my arms. " Besides, I like seasoned men. "

Joel rolls his eyes. " I can't believe you're calling me seasoned. " He mumbles.

" It's better than old. " I point out. " I know you're scared, Joel. I'm scared too. I'm terrified to raise a baby in a world where tomorrow isn't promised. But I have confidence that we can do this. We have each other. We have Ellie. We've survived this long and we can survive longer. " I gently tug his hand towards me. " Now, I have a little someone who really wants to meet her daddy. "

Joel hesitates for a second before finally giving in. He takes a seat on the bed next to me.

I carefully set the baby in his arms. Immediately a smile breaks onto his face.

" Hi, baby. " He mutters while bringing her closer to his face. He gently presses a kiss onto her forehead. " I'm your dad. "

This world is scary.

But I know we can make it together.

[cyberpxnk]

jealous | song mingi (2/2)

♡  part one

(can be read standalone.)

♡ pairing: mingi x fem! reader (afab) ♡ chapters: 2 out of 2 ♡ word count: 4.3k ♡ rating: mature/18+ (minors dni) ♡ genre: pwp, smut, established relationship 

♡ synopsis: Nothing could have prepared you for the ray of pink that was Song Mingi when you walked through the door at that moment. 

♡ warnings/tags: idol! mingi, pink! mingi, brief mentions of ateez, san + woo being lil shits, shameless smut, jealous behavior, possessive behavior, cock warming, slight somnophilia, pussy eating/cunnilingus, biting, hair pulling, minor overstim, size kink, unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, name calling, breeding kink if u squint, creampie

♡ author’s note: 

kinda proof read but again, not rly... hehe :3

howdy again, friends! here is the conclusion to jealous. i hope you all enjoy as much as the first chapter! :3 i had a lot of fun writing this one. seeing all the support has really been encouraging!!

When you step into the stylist's corner that evening, you aren't sure what to expect after overhearing the boy's discussions the previous night. Amidst themselves they chatted animatedly about the possibility of different colored hair. Their rush of words only left you with an undying curiosity as to what you would see today in the hair salon. Unfortunately, none of them seemed too keen on sharing with you, even after your insistent probing.

The time they spent with neutral tones was surprisingly short and they were all too soon being ushered back to the stylists for their new looks. If you had a say, you would have easily protested the idea — given how much you loved Mingi with natural looking hair… but alas.

And sure, most of them had practically gone through the entire rainbow at that point but nothing could have prepared you for the ray of pink that was Song Mingi when you walked through the door at that moment.

Eyes wide with surprise and bewilderment, you're bouncing over to the tall man, practically gushing and cooing as you take in his new appearance. His hair is shorter now, shorter than you've ever seen. The wisps that previously framed his handsome and sharp features are nothing but choppy and sporadic.

"Wow," is all that you can utter as your fingers card through his freshly dyed locks. A low hum of approval comes from him. You stand behind him, staring at him through the mirror he sits before. In the reflection, he's meeting your bright eyes as he beams with a newfound radiance, noting how smitten you seemed.

"Do you like it, babe?" Mingi preens, leaning into your gentle affections as you're stroking his scalp lovingly.

"You look... Uh. Wow." A deep laugh rumbles from his large frame upon hearing your lack of words.

"I look hot, huh?" Pursing your lips, you choose not to reply as you catch the teasing hint behind his words. His statement shakes you from your charmed stupor, as if you're just now remembering how your lovable boyfriend is also oh so insufferable.

"What about meeee~? Do I look good?" You ignore San's whine in the background.

Grasping a fistful of Mingi's hair, you give a playful tug and he lets out a pained noise of complaint.

"Ow! Sorry, sorry… You know I’m just joking."

"You're so annoying, Min." Smoothing out his rosy tufts, you pat his head once and step away to observe some of the others as they're scattered about the salon.

Only a few of the members are in today, most of them having opted to keep their more natural styles. Upon further inspection, you note that only Mingi, Hongjoong, San and Wooyoung are present.

The captain's head is tipping back and forth as he's snoozing peacefully within his chair. You can see they're still lifting his hair, him having fallen asleep as the light color processes. You smile. It would definitely look good once finished.

Not wanting to disturb his beauty sleep, you sneak around him and weave your way toward San and Wooyoung.

Akin to the devil himself San has his teeth bared in the widest grin, dimple showing as he tilts his head toward you, beckoning for you to pet him just as you did with Mingi.

"San, why are even you here? They didn't do anything to your hair."

"It's just a little styling and trimming. See!" The man kicks off the ground and swivels in his chair, spinning a bit to show himself off from all angles. You can't really tell any difference. You resist the urge to roll your eyes at him and snicker alongside Wooyoung as you both ignore his antics.

"It looks good, right? I'm so handsome, right?" San knits his eyebrows together and juts out his lips, offering you his signature pouty face.

"Right, right?"

"Yes, yes. You're so handsome, Sannie. So handsome with your silly little trim."  Though the sarcasm of your statements are blatantly obvious, he has never seemed more pleased. So pleased in fact, that he grasps your hand and places it atop his head before he begins nuzzling into your palm. He really did have some cat like tendencies.

You let out an exasperated sigh and open your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by your lover.

"Dude! Get your own girlfriend!" Having witnessed the entire charade from his corner, Mingi is on his feet now and you swear you can see steam coming from his ears. You know San's jokes are mostly for shits and giggles, but you do feel a little bad seeing your boyfriend so riled up.

It was only a few weeks ago you had your asses chewed out by management after what you and San planned. Not to mention Hongjoong was on his last nerve and would definitely limit your visitations if you pulled another stunt like that.

Despite knowing the repercussions, San chooses to ignore the rapper as he grins, hand cupped over his mouth while he's leaning over to his partner in crime, whispering to the other.

"Watch him wake up Captain and get into deep shit again." They both snicker.

"Aw, is the big pink princess jealous?" Shooting a look of warning to the pair, you rush over to Mingi.

"San, you directly contributed to our ‘deep shit,’ so I don't wanna hear it!" Stepping closer to the fuming giant, you run your hands along his arms, trying to soothe his anger. His own limbs immediately wind around your waist, pulling you against his solid chest protectively.

"He's just messing with you again, baby."

"I know," he says through grit teeth.

"I'll make it up to you tonight," you murmur into his ear softly, giving his lobe a gentle nip. Upon hearing your words, his eyes darkened considerably. He squeezes you once.

Thankfully, this seems to pacify his temper as he settles down, allowing you to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"You better."  Without another word, the man returns to his seat. The tension visibly falls from his shoulders, a pleased smile stretching across his features at the thought of your promise for later.

Unfortunately, you're left to deal with San's taunting again once Mingi comfortably slouches into his chair, ignoring everyone as he begins to play around with his phone.

"I'll make it up to you later," San parrots in a sickeningly sweet tone.

"You better." Wooyoung follows his mimicry and the pair burst into an obnoxious fit of giggles. Woo's laughter raises an octave higher as they're both slapping each other around and squirming hilariously in their chairs, making kissy faces.

Two grown ass men. You shake your head and sigh.

The commotion causes Hongjoong to stir. The smaller man rouses from his sleep, rubbing his eyes tiredly as his bleary glare lands on the troublesome duo.

"You two are so loud. You think I would be used to it by now."

Everyone falls silent when they finally realize their captain has awoken. His sleepy gaze sweeps over the room, eyebrows cocking up in surprise when he notes that Mingi seems to be the most behaved of the bunch. That was not typical, but he wouldn't dwell on it.  There's a curt nod in your direction, as if he’s giving you kudos for trying to keep the boys in line.

"Behave, kids."  Hongjoong leaves them a single warning, too tired to chastise them as his droopy eyes fall shut, the drowsiness overtaking him once more.

The bickering has died down now and everyone is left to their own muses, the previous playful encounters momentarily forgotten as a comfortable silence overtakes the room.

Another half hour passes by in a breeze and it's not long before you're all filing back into a company van to return home. Shuffling between each member, you're quick to buckle into your seat beside Mingi and no sooner is the vehicle veering out of the driveway toward the direction of the dorms.  

As the van takes off the street lights fade in passing, blurring beneath the night sky. The sight has your eyelids growing heavy, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted from your day's events. You don't seem to realize how tired you are until your cheek falls on your lover's broad shoulder.

Blinking at the sudden weight on him, Mingi turns slightly to look at you before a fond smile overtakes his face once he sees you dozing off. A warmth spreads within his chest as he takes in your delicate features, cooing lovingly before he presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

"Sleep tight, baby."

The first time you awake that night you don't register the feeling of his lips trailing along your shoulder. Groggily opening your eyes, you're met with mostly darkness, only a sliver of the moonlight peeking from the window. You can feel the springs of a mattress beneath you and the familiarity of Mingi's lean body pressed to your back. Like most nights, he holds you from behind, effectively caging you in his arms.

Though you don't recall the man carrying you from the car to the dorm, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. This wasn't the first occasion where you had knocked out on the ride home. Mingi was all too used to hauling your ass back to his room and readying you for bed — which mostly just consisted of him stripping you to your undergarments and tucking you in.

With your current state of undress, the man beside you feels particularly restless. He fidgets once, then twice. You squeeze his arm gently and that's all it takes for his curious hands to begin roaming upon your bare skin, ghosting along your hips and stomach before he's cupping one of your breasts to fondle between his palm, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

A quiet and tired whine falls from your lips and you're soon shifting against the bed, your panty clad ass brushing against him. Feeling your movements he involuntarily bucks against you and even through the fabric of delicates separating you, you feel the weight of his half hard cock against your backside.  

His lips find purchase on your neck once more, eager to paint a pattern of his love bites on the skin. There are fading marks from days prior and he's readily retracing over the hickeys with teeth and tongue. The thrill of showing others his claim was simply his favorite.

Despite the desire that throbs between your thighs, you find yourself too drowsy to reciprocate, only just barely grinding yourself against him as he continues to grope at your body and rut against you.

"Fuck," he curses between wet kisses along your nape.

There is an air of impatience in his actions and he's hurriedly fumbling around with his boxers, freeing his erection from its confines. It slaps up against one of your cheeks and you can feel his precum leaking through your underwear.

Mingi is unable to help himself as he pulls your panties to one side, lining himself along your slit before he's slowly sheathing his thick cock past your walls, already wet and coated with your arousal. Even in your dazed state, you feel a surprised moan bubbling from your throat as you begin to clutch onto the bed sheets when your cunt stretches deliciously around him to accommodate his size.

Consumed by the feeling of your walls clenching around him, a pleased growl spills from your lover's lips. The grip he has on your waist returns and soon he's bottoming out within you, pelvic bone flush to your ass as he's relishing the heat that hugs his length so tightly.

Gods, your pussy felt like the heavens to him. Mingi knew he could come then and there if he lacked any self control. The position which you both lay presents him with a different angle to fuck you, dragging against your cunt in a way that has his length throbbing within you. His eyes nearly roll back at the feeling.

Though he's enraptured in a state of pleasure, he doesn't budge against you, only breathing heavily against your neck as his fingers stroke circles into your hips. Normally, there is an encouraging noise or movement from you after you adjust to his size, but the silence that follows has his concerns raising slightly.

"Babe?"

It's only several seconds later that Mingi hears the sound of your light snoring. Unbelievable... With you having fallen back to sleep he resigns in defeat and hugs you closer to him, closing his eyes as he tries to follow suit, his hard cock still stuffed within you.

The second time you wake up, it's still dark within the room but the beginnings of sun rising glimmer past the window curtains. Huh? You find your body is feeling unusually hot and you're panting softly, eyes heavily lidded.

Drowsiness still overpowers you as you’re blindly reaching around for Mingi. His body has since disappeared from your side and only now do you register the feeling of his weight against your legs.

A scratchy moan rips from your throat when you glance down. You're met with the sight of pink hair disappearing between your thighs and it sends a tremor of arousal through you, shaking you awake. The two of you had discussed this scenario many times prior, but you were beyond thrilled to finally have it happen.

“M-Mingi?” Your throat is hoarse and dry, though you don't know if it's from having just woken up or from seeing the sinful sight of your lover languidly lapping at your pussy. You’re unsure of how long he's been awake, but the mess that has accumulated beneath you was evidence enough — fluids having trailed down from your heat, seeping into the bedsheets.

The man hums in acknowledgement, his tongue delving past your dripping folds as he hungrily begins to eat you out. Now that you were awake, he wouldn’t hold back. His mouth moves with fervor, tongue swiping along your cunt as he greedily drinks in your juices.

“You said you would make it up to me.” Between kissing your clit and dragging the flat of his tongue against your wetness, he rumbles deeply against you. He just barely lifts his head and meets your stare with a heated look, pupils blown wide, the desire and want evidently swirling within his lustful eyes.

When he nudges his nose against your clit, your legs tremble, closing slightly as they tighten around his head, earning a pleased and muffled noise from him. Your hand finds its way down to his head as you begin to buck into his face, fingers gripping at the rosy locks.

His own hands palm at the globes of your ass, cupping each cheek fully as he lifts your pussy closer to his face. Mingi is ravenous as he eats you out. His mouth traces over every inch of your cunt, tongue sloppily laving against your folds, his actions akin to a starved man.

At this point, you're wide awake and squirming with pleasure. With his grip holding you up, your back arches off the mattress and no sooner you’re driving your hips into his face, shamelessly bucking against his mouth. He’s diving into you with reckless abandon and it's only when you feel his lips latching onto your sensitive bundle of nerves that you're turning your head to muffle your cries into the pillow under you.

Knowing how vocal you were, you had to keep quiet as the boys could wake at any moment. You couldn't risk getting in trouble again. Even so, your face is pressed to the pillow and you're biting the fabric of the pillow case as you're fisting Mingi’s hair. You can barely contain the lewd noises that Mingi elicits from you.

The muffled sounds that come from you grow increasingly louder when you feel him circling your clit with his tongue. The way he alternates between licking and sucking you has you seeing stars, your eyes rolling back in pleasure.

When your thighs finally begin to shake in his grasp, he knows you're close. Mingi’s mouth doesn't leave your clit even as you're grinding harder into his face. Swiftly one of his hands dips between your legs, two fingers fucking into you as he drives you to your orgasm. The combined stimulus pushes you over the edge and you’re cumming hard on his face.

You sob into the pillow, writhing wildly as your fluids spill from your pussy onto his face. His mouth finally leaves your swollen clit as he savors the taste of your release, groaning into your cunt while he begins to tongue fuck you once more. The taste of your essence is sweet, irresistible; and only for him to have.

When Mingi has finally had enough, you're already nearing your second orgasm. You’re breathing hard and trying to recover as the waves of pleasure roll through your body.  The man lifts his head from your legs and you swallow thickly at the sight of him.

There is still a carnal hunger that glitters beneath his stare. Your eyes trace the angles of his face, following down the curve of his nose until they land on his mouth, watching as his tongue darts out to lick some remnants of your juices from his lips. Even in the dark, you can see the way your own release glistens on his cheeks and chin.

The look he gives you has a wave of arousal pooling in your belly, burning so hot that you're already locking your legs around his torso. Mingi roughly cleans his face with one arm and wipes it onto his bedsheets.  

You’re about to protest, but the complaint dies in your throat as he begins to leave a trail of wet kisses up your body. He starts below your navel and ghosts past your ribs next. Similarly, his large hands stroke up to your legs as he holds them in place.

As he moves up your body, your pussy drags along the ripples of his muscles, leaving a line of your wetness down his abs. He begins grazing past your nipples and he teases along the slopes of your breasts before he reaches your lips. His mouth connects to yours, all too eager to taste you. Now that your bodies are level to each other, your thighs naturally rest around his waist.

From this position you can feel the weight of his thick cock laying heavily against your messy cunt, his length coated with your slick arousal. Grinding against each other, the friction between your loins has you both gasping out between kisses. His tongue finds yours all too easily, labored breaths against each other’s mouths.

When he parts from you, there is a string of saliva that stretches between you. After your first orgasm, you already looked so fucked out laying beneath him. Your breasts are heaving with each gasp of pleasure and your hips wiggle against his impatiently. He groans at the sight, cock twitching.

“Think you can take more, doll?”

“Please, Mingi…” Under his gaze, you're trembling with want and need. Mingi loves when he hears your pathetic whines laden with desire, especially with the way your voice goes up a pitch when you're desperate to have him filling you.

“Baby girl wants to be stuffed with my big dick, yeah?” A taunting smirk overtakes his features.

“Mingi, need you inside me. Please…”  You squirm beneath him, pressing yourself closer to his body, flush to the shaft of his aching erection.

“Love how you beg for me every night. You're such a slut for me, with the way your tight little cunt molds so well around my cock.”

The deep treble of his voice has you moaning softly, your body heating up from the dirty words that escape him. He feels the way you gush more fluids onto his length, growing more wet as he praises you.  

“Be a good girl and take my big cock, mmm?”

As the last word falls from his lips, he’s sinking himself into your dripping hole. Mingi is slow and calculated, enjoying the drag along your folds as you begin to stretch around his thickness. From this angle he sees the way your cunt swallows him, his cock buried inside you.

You both moan breathily as he fills you to the hilt, the head of his cock nearly kissing your cervix. The grip of your thighs tightens around his waist as you're trying to drive him deeper within you.

“God, such a good girl. You always take me so well, baby.”

“M-Mingi,” you mewl back at him, feeling entirely full from his large size splitting you apart. He doesn’t need to adjust this time, knowing your second orgasm still looms closely. You're high on the pleasure and you're already grinding into him.

“See how big I am inside you?” The sight beneath him is almost too much. Within you his dick is twitching and throbbing as your walls envelope him. He hovers above you just slightly, creating space between your bodies to give you a view of what nearly sends him into a frenzy.

Obediently your eyes flit down to follow his stare and you can see the outline of his big cock against your lower belly. Your cunt clenches at the sight and he involuntarily thrusts a single time.  

“So big… feel so full of your cock,” you gasp at him, eyes fluttering with pleasure as you're reveling in the feeling of his size. He pulls his hips back, slowly beginning to pump himself within you as you’re both watching the outline of his girth moving back and forth.

“Fuuuck.” Mingi throws his head back, cursing lowly as he begins to pick up his pace.

Your arms wind around his neck and you’re clutching onto him as you bury your face into his shoulder. The sight of him within you is forgotten once you're both beginning to chase your climax.

The grip Mingi has on your ass is bruising as he starts to pound himself within your pussy. His tempo has picked up speed as the pleasure continues to build. The sound of his cock squelching against your dripping folds is loud as is the sound of his balls slapping against your skin.

Each thrust has his pelvis dragging against your already sensitive clit. You're trying to meet his movements best you can, but you're so far gone with pleasure that you simply hang off him as he plows into your aching cunt.

“S-So… good,” you blubber out as you begin to drool on his shoulder.

His palms are suddenly hooking under your knees as he pushes your legs back, effectively folding you into yourself as he begins to fuck himself into you harder. Your hands fall from him at this new position and you're desperately fisting the bedsheets when he begins to slam himself back into you.

The new angle has his cock hitting your g spot, each plunge on his length sending you closer and closer into euphoria. You begin chanting his name, each syllable growing louder in volume until he has to silence you with his mouth.

You're both moaning through the lip lock, tongues entangled in a passionate dance as he rocks himself into you. You know he's close with the way his grip is beginning to slack around your legs. Even then, his pace doesn't let up as he begins to snap his hips harder against you. In between kisses, you begin to coax him closer to his release.

“Need your cum… please, Mingi!” The guttural moan that escapes him resonates through your core, fluids gushing around his cock as he starts fucking you faster.

“Fuck, baby girl… You want me to fill you up? Does my needy slut want to be stuffed full of cum?”

He’s merciless with his movements as he sets an unrelenting pace, desperate to chase his orgasm. The harder he ruts into you, the more your pussy clenches around him.

“Yes, Mingi. Please!”

Hearing your admission, you can feel the way his moves are no longer calculated — a sloppy and erratic rhythm overtaking his movements. Still, each push of his throbbing length slamming against your g spot has your entire body alight with fire.

The pressure is building within you, ready to snap at any moment. Only seconds later you're unraveling beneath him, your second orgasm flooding you as you thrash and moan whilst cumming against his cock, walls squeezing around him impossibly tight. Your juices flood around him, the sounds of your wetness growing louder as he bucks harder.

The feeling of your cunt gripping and convulsing around him sends him into a craze and he fucks into you harder and harder until he's pumping you full his release. Even as he's painting your walls full of his cum, he cannot help himself but to roll his hips a bit longer, riding out his peak as he pushes his seeds deeper within your cunt. The cum begins to spill over, drooling out from your pussy as he finally stills his movements.

After several seconds, he drops your legs and collapses on top of you. You grunt at his weight but bring a hand up to gently stroke his hair. Both of you pant heavily as you try to recover from the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm, exhaustion sweeping over you. His hands are carefully kneading around your hips while his head rests between your breasts, nuzzling into them affectionately.

“Love you, babe. Thanks for making it up to me.”

You kiss the top of his head.

“Yeah, yeah.. Love you too. Even if you did interrupt my sleep…”

You both knew the bed was in a state of disarray but you were both too tired to care at the moment, beginning to fall asleep in a pool of your mixed juices.

It’s not even ten minutes later that you hear a loud series of knocks on the door, causing you both to jolt awake.

"Morning, you sex fiends! Breakfast is ready!” San calls out from behind the door, an obvious hint of mischief in his tone.

Oh god, you were definitely too loud and you know you would never hear the end of it from him.

“Fuck off! We're sleeping in!” Mingi yells back, though his words don’t match the cheeky grin he sports.

You roll your eyes and gently nudge him off of you.

“Can we at least change the bed sheets first?”

“Sure thing, babe.” Fin~

[i-loveyou013]

Losing interest

Al-Haitham x gn!reader

-> IN WHICH Al-Haitham loses interest in you and you can't stand it anymore.

-> Normal Universe

-> Wordcount: ~1.1k

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Alhaitham has lost interest in you. You knew that. He never confirmed this theory, but you noticed the hints.

Your lover never came home for dinner for the last few months. He's always late, always so late that even after 11pm he's not home. You spent days in your bed alone, even though you two were sharing it. Not even in the morning he had the time to greet you and say goodbye.

He just left. Without a word.

You two didn't have normal conversations either. When you do see him (which would be considered a miracle) he brushes you off. Saying you could talk later. You never did. You never will. He doesn't have time. He has more important stuff to do (What is more important than the love of your life?).

Through your pain you shrugged it off.

He's just stressed.

He doesn't mean it.

Soon everything will be like before.

It's okay, I'm overreacting.

It never did. Matter how much hope you had. It never got any better.

Even the most hopeless romantics lose hope someday.

"Can we talk? It's important." You try your best to communicate with your lover. You woke up before your usual routine just to have a chance of meeting him.

"Can it wait? I have to go to work." Alhaitham again brushes you off with his (now) usual monotone voice. Like he doesn't pay attention to a word you're saying. Just perceive that you're mentioning something not worth listening to.

"No it cannot-" You couldn't even finish your sentence as your partner has already left the house.

It took everything for you to not scream out of frustration. Instead, tears rolled down your face. Uncontrollable sobs escaped your mouth. You covered your eyes with both of your hands as you fell on your knees. What seemed like hours and hours with no end were probably only a few minutes. What happened?

Were you not enough?

Were you a burden?

Did you annoy him too much?

All these things did not matter anymore. You got a new job offer in Liyue a few months ago. Just as Alhaitham's weird behaviour started. You first hesitated. Why would you leave everything you had?

It took everything in you to finally accept the job offer. A break is what you need right now. A new country, a new area and maybe many new friends.

Who wanted you here in Sumeru anyway? It's not like you had any friends.

It was just you and Alhaitham.

Now it's just you and your pain.

Clearly, Alhaitham didn't want you here, so you being gone for a few months shouldn't hurt, right? You leave in 2 days. That's why you wanted to talk to Alhaitham today, but he seemed... busy.

You lay down on your bed and cried into your pillow. Hours passed and you haven't moved an inch. Not even to go drink or eat something. You just laid there and did nothing, but cry.

For the last 2 days you tried to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

And for 2 days you failed to talk to Alhaitham about your leave.

It was just like the last months. Not one glance. Not one word. Not one conversation. Just you. Alone. Crying yourself to sleep.

You have packed your items for your trip and your transportation was just a short walk away. You didn't bother trying to tell Alhaitham about it.

He clearly doesn't care.

You closed your eyes. Took a deep breath and stepped out of your shared home.

Goodbye, Sumeru. I will see you in 6 months.

And hello Liyue. My new home for the next 6 months.

Alhaitham sighed in relief.

Finally.

He has been busy with so many different tasks and missions of utmost importance for the past months. As the Acting Grand Sage he had now new responsibilities which didn't make it easy for him. Especially after the whole chaos.

But now he was finished. Now he could spend some quality time with his lover. Oh, how he missed you.

He didn't want to tell you about it. He thought it would bring you unnecessary stress and worry. He didn't want that. He loves you with all his being and seeing you sad or mad makes his heart ache to the point it's unbearable. You, his precious angel.

He knew he had been neglecting you for the last weeks. He missed being near you as well. Your touch, your voice, your delicious cooking. Everything.

He was about to make it up to you with a nice date. He knew one date couldn't compensate for all the wrongs he did the past months. But he planned the best date you could even imagine. He even bought tickets for one of Nilou's shows. They were hard to get but Alhaitham knew you liked her so much and used his position and power as the Acting Grand Sage to get the VIP tickets.

"[Name]?" Alhaitham yelled through the house. "Sweetheart I'm home!" No answer.

The Sage looked confused. It was Saturday, you should be free.

Maybe you were asleep? Yeah, that's probably it. You looked very tired the last few times he saw you.

He quickly checked your bedroom. Empty. Weird. You would tell him if you had appointments or meet-up with friends. But you didn't...

In all his worries he asked Kaveh. His beloved roommate.

"Kaveh?" He knocked on the door. As he got permission to enter he opened the door.

"What?" Said roommate looked at him annoyed. Alhaitham however ignored that. It's nothing new between them.

"Have you seen [Name]? They aren't home and I'm quite worried." He announced his worries.

Kaveh stared at him blankly. "Are you serious?"

Alhaitham blinked in confusion. "... Yes? Have I missed a certain appointment today? Was it important?"

The architect couldn't believe it. Was he serious? You left to Liyue and Alhaitham didn't know? He didn't even notice?

"Alhaitham. You're telling me you didn't notice [Name] leaving about a month ago? A month?! Are you serious?!" Neither of them could believe what they were witnessing.

"W-What? [Name] left? Without telling me?" Why wouldn't you tell him? Have you perhaps forgotten him?

"Without telling you?! Are you hearing yourself? [Name] has been trying for weeks to get your attention, but you were oh so busy with work, that you completely neglected them! They left for Liyue about a month ago because they got a pretty good job offer. They tried to tell you but you were so dense you didn't care. Don't come to me and whine about how they didn't tell you because they tried. You can apologise to them in 5 months when they come back. If they even want to anymore." Kaveh scoffed and closed the door right in front of his face.

You left a month ago?

And he didn't notice?

You will come back in 5 months?

Not proofread.

[mavrintarou]

[Daddies in December] Haitani Ran

Out of all the Ran stories I've read, he is nothing like what I picture. So fair warning, my vision of Ran might be vulnerable, a little dirty, but hot as hell. This is super long, I spent all day yesterday and most of today on this.

Warning: angst, fluff & smut.

.

Haitani Ran knew he was a man of many things but being a father was not one of them.

His lifestyle did not have room for fatherhood.

No matter how many ways he looked at it, it would never work out.

It was in the best interest of him and Y/n to go their way regardless of Y/n’s protest of having hoped to make it work.

It will just not work.

She was never meant to mean something to him, let alone a child they both created by accident.

He could not deny the tiny joy he felt burning when he discovered her pregnancy but had to put out the flame immediately.

After ignoring calls and visits, Ran was left with the last resort.

It was in the heat of the moment when Y/n appeared at his club unexpectedly. Ran could see the shock in her eyes from across the room and he took the opportunity to whisper something into the woman beside him. She excitedly turned to him and he reached for her face, pressing his mouth to hers in a heated kiss.

It disgusted him to the core and the longest three seconds of his life. He pulled away and turned his heels, pulling the woman by her hand, and disappeared into the VIP hallway.

That was Y/n’s last straw.

Her calls and visits ceased.

No one and nothing would prepare him for a broken heart.

He was Haitani Ran, he had been shot at, stabbed, and beaten to almost death.

But the pain of Y/n erasing herself out of his life hurt more than all those things combined.

All he had left now was the memories they had in the past.

.

He felt no pain as his knuckles were busted and bloody from repeatedly plugging into the lifeless body he held by the collar.

He was just about to throw another blow when the man was saved by the ringing of the phone.

Releasing the man, Ran picked up his phone. “What?” he barked.

“She’s in labor.”

.

His thumb swiped over the image on his screen of the chubby sleeping infant.

A girl.

He was a father to a baby girl.

It took everything in him not to rush to the hospital she was at and burst into the room to pull them both into his arms.

Even though neither of them had spoken in months, Ran ensured she was taken care of from afar. It pissed him off that the money he sent her went untouched and knew Y/n purposedly refuses to use it to irk him.

The one thing she could not prevent him from doing was the man he hired to protect her and reporting back to him with her every move.

She had an ultrasound appointment today at 2:30. Results show that the gender of the baby is a girl.

At approximately 12:45 AM, she left for the nearest open convenience store and purchased a variety of snacks and junk food.

She had a breakdown watching Sailor Moon.

Ran flipped through the many photos he received from K. He didn’t know how the man was able to take some photos up close and as if he was there in person but he didn’t question the man’s skill. Ran paid him well and he expected nothing but the best.

He was still waiting to hear back from K about what Y/n had named his daughter.

His daughter.

Chuckling like a maniac, he reprimanded himself. What right did he have to claim her as his daughter when he abandoned them?

Ran quickly sat up and ignored the annoying voice in his head when he saw the three dots appear by K’s name.

K: she named your daughter Fuyumi. She has her mother’s last name.

Ran gave his message a thumbs up, acknowledging his message.

Why had he expected that Y/n would give their child his last name?

Reaching for his cigarettes, he was about to light one when he froze, remembering he quit because… he had not wanted to give his child and Y/n second-hand smoke.

Even if he was nowhere near them.

Grabbing the pack of cigarettes and lighter, he tossed it into the garbage.

Leaning back against his couch, he is once again, drowning in his own doing.

Mikey and Rindou have scolded him for making such a pathetic decision to end their relationship. He would never admit that hearing Mikey saying that he would never give up his woman regardless of his lifestyle.

But the damage was already done.

His phone dinged with another message.

Reaching over, he frowned when the notification was from K again, this time of an image.

He tapped on the image, waiting for it to load.

Ran sat up quickly, zooming in on the picture. His eyes scanned the document repeatedly.

For the first time, his heart warmed.

On the official documents of his daughter’s birth certificate, her middle name is listed as Haitani.

He didn’t realize he was smiling like a fool as he pressed down on the image with his thumb and hearted the photo.

.

His daughter was a splitting image of her mother and Ran thanked the Gods for it. The two things she inherited from him are his distinctive violet-hue eyes and blond hair. In some photos K sent her eyes sometimes changed, showing that she also inherited her mother’s blue eyes, sometimes a mixture of blue-violet.

Tapping the screen, he saved all these photos, adding them to the designated folder he created for his daughter.

His phone dinged and it was a message from Mikey, an image.

Ran’s eyes widened as he stood up abruptly, it was a photo of Mikey smiling broadly with his sixth-month-old daughter in his arms.

Mikey: She’s freaken cute, can I keep her?

.

Y/n didn’t fear Mikey as much as she should, considering he was a notorious gang leader many feared and the boss of your daughter’s father. She only met Mikey a few times and he treated her kindly.

Ran once said to her it was probably because she was the same age as his baby sister who passed away years ago.

She was surprised to see Mikey approach them at the park. Sensing fear from Mikey and his bodyguards, the other moms quickly gathered their children and took off.

Y/n pulled her daughter out of the baby swing and hugged her close. “Mikey.” She acknowledged, nodding her head at him.

He nodded in return, his eyes shifting to the baby in her arms. “Is she Ran’s?”

Y/n knew he knew the answer already, even if she did lie which she had no reason to, the color of her eyes and hair was a giveaway that she had Ran’s DNA running through her blood.

“Yes,” she answered quietly.

Mikey took a step closer and held out his arms, “is she picky? Can I hold her?”

“If you like, she is… a bit drooly.” Fuyumi stared at Mikey before he reached for her. She continued to stare at him, seeing a new face. “Her name is Fuyumi.” She wasn’t sure he heard her since he was having a staring contest with the baby.

“God!” Mikey snuggled her, “you’re so freaken cute. Thank goodness you look nothing like your dad.” He reached for his phone and looked at Y/n for approval, “can I send Ran a photo? So he knows what he’s missing out on?”

Y/n let out a hesitant laugh, “I’m sure Ran knows... he has someone following and protecting us and he sends Ran updates daily.”

“You know about K?” Mikey gasped, he looked at Fuyumi. “Do you know Uncle K?” He snaps a selfie with her. “Your dad is going to be so jealous that I got a photo with you before him.”

Y/n had a second change of heart but knew that Mikey had already sent the photo. She didn’t know how Ran would react.

Instantly, Mikey chuckled and looked at the baby in his arms, “that sounds awfully like your dad’s motorcycle…”

That’s when Y/n heard it, her head turning towards the sound of the roaring muffler. Sure enough, Ran’s motorcycle pulls up. Of course, he would know where Mikey is at all times in case he needed to get to Mikey at any time.

Y/n’s heart fluttered the moment he took off his helmet and their eyes connected even at a distance.

Ran stopped a few feet away from Mikey, eyes on his daughter. He swallowed the lump in his throat, unable to speak.

“Are you going to say hi to your daughter at all?” Mikey questioned, “I’ll take her if you don’t want her…” he smiled at Fuyumi, “I can be your da –“

“Mikey.” Ran snarl.

Mikey ignored his tone, continuing to talk to the baby. “As I was saying, I can be your daddy. I have blond hair – “

“We should get going,” Y/n intervenes, stepping forward to reach for her child. “It is almost time for her nap.” Y/n hugs her daughter close. She avoided looking at Ran as she muttered a goodbye, turning her heels towards the stroller.

.

She knew Ran was following them.

When she finally reached her apartment she whipped around to face him. Ran had his hands stuffed in his dress pants, looking handsome as ever in his black attire with his sleeves rolled up to his elbow. She cleared her throat and snapped, “you can go now.”

Instead of walking away, he walked towards her until he was in front of them. His eyes drop down to the sleeping baby in the stroller. “Can we talk?”

“No.” Y/n answered immediately. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“That’s fine, I have something to say to you though.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “you had plenty of opportunities in the past to say something. It’s too late, excuse us.”

Ran was faster and blocked her from entering her apartment building. “We can do this the nice way, Y/n, or I can take you kicking and screaming, you pick.”

She flinched at his threat. Though he has never done anything to make her fear him that didn’t mean she didn’t harbor any fear for this man at all. She knew of some of the things he’s done and is responsible for, knew what he could do to anyone with the snap of his fingers.

.

Ran has only been in her apartment a handful of times. Most of the time, she was at his place.

Y/n was normally a clean and tidy person but her place was cluttered with toys and baby items.

He watched her carefully lift the baby out of the stroller, cooing gently and rocking her back to sleep but being disturbed, the baby began to fuss.

“It’s okay,” Y/n repeated quietly but the baby’s cry only increased. She looked at Ran before excusing herself, “let me go nurse her, I’ll be back.”

Ran nodded dumbfounded. His cheeks flushed as he imagined Y/n nursing their daughter, suckling from her tits just as he had once done.

Y/n returned with their daughter wide awake. Fuyumi stared intensely at Ran as he stood up from the couch and approached them. Being 6’2, he towered over the both of them put together. “She’s beautiful… like you.”

Ran was mesmerized staring into the same colored eyes as his own, his flesh, his DNA… his daughter.

Y/n cleared her throat, “talk.”

He had rehearsed what he would say to her the day he got the opportunity, and this was his one chance to explain himself with an ounce of hope that he could turn the tables. “I’m sorry,” he said genuinely. “I am sorry for my past actions, how it hurt not only you but our daughter as well.” He inhaled softly, “my actions hurt me too. But I can promise you, there has not been anyone. I had only kissed that woman that night to force you to end your connection with me and that was the stupidest decision I’ve ever made.”

“Yeah it was,” Y/n snapped, “I don’t need your apology now, neither does my daughter too.”

Her anger was expected, just as long as she didn’t hate him.

“I know you don’t need it, but I want to give it anyway. If you want to throw it away, that’s your decision.” He had to play his next card right. “Can –  I explain myself?”

She has never seen Ran vulnerable like this and she almost believes it’s genuine. “Fine, have a seat then,” she pointed to the spot he was sitting moments ago.

He listened obediently, watching her take a seat on the floor with their daughter. He wanted to sit near them but did not want to frustrate her. “It has always been you. As you know my job… my lifestyle isn’t exactly best fitted to become a father and I thought for the sake and safety of the both of you, it was the best decision to go our ways.” He placed both his palms on the coffee table. “That was another stupid decision and I regret it every single day. But there has never been anyone else, it’s only been you since the day I forced you to walk away.”

Y/n refused to make eye contact with him, only looking at her daughter and smiling at her.

Ran wasn’t sure she was even listening to him.

“Is that all?”

He shook his head, “no, I’ve been sending you money but you haven’t touched it and that made me frustrated so…” he swallowed the guilt. “I have someone secretly following you, he is tasked to protect you at all times, 24/7, and report to me about your daily activities… I’m sorry for invading your privacy and going behind your ba – “

“I know.”

“What?” his head snapped up, eyes wide as he stared into Y/n’s calm ones.

“I met him… K.”

His jaw dropped. “Mother fu –“ he stopped himself as his daughter turned her head to look at him right when he was about to swear. “I’m sorry, baby.” As if understanding him, she smiled brightly with a gummy smile. His heart nearly combusted.

“Don’t kill him,” Y/n looked at him with pleading eyes, “I caught him one day when I had pretended to have a stomachache. He was by my side instantly, confirming my suspicion. He didn’t reveal any information, but he answered my questions if I asked.” She looked away and reached for the toys her daughter was reaching for. “I had asked him not to tell you that I knew you assigned someone to watch over me. As much as I was hurt by you, it made me feel better knowing deep down, you cared even if it was a little bit.”

“Y/n…”

“So don’t kill him. He has become a friend to me.”

Ran wanted to kill him now knowing how close they’d become.

“Were you not curious how he was able to get such accurate details let alone photos of Fuyumi as if he was here in person?”

It all clicked in Ran’s head.

“I knew this guy was an expert at his job, just thought that this guy was just phenomenal at his job… only to discover he has become BFF with you.” His eyes drop to his daughter, “and my daughter too apparently.” He rests his elbow on his knees, covering his face. “God, I feel…” he sat up straight. “Y/n, I had all my shit planned out on what I want to tell you but I can’t remember sh – it. It. I can’t remember it now.” He stood up, walked around, and knelt before them, he grabbed Y/n by her shoulders. “Hit me all you want, be angry with me, and punish me for however long you want…” his hand shifts to cup her face. “Just don’t hate me and push me away.”

Y/n blinked dumbfoundedly, shocked at the Ran before her.

“I’ll do whatever you want, just… let me be part of your life again. And Yumi’s…” that was the name of his daughter’s photo album. “I may not have physically been there for you in the last months but K’s daily report made me feel as if I was. I will forever regret missing my daughter’s birth.”

Ran looked down when he felt something against his thigh. His daughter had pulled herself onto his lap. She looked up at him with curious eyes, almost admiring him. His gaze softened as he reached for her but froze, he looked up at Y/n, silently asking for permission.

“Yes, please…” Y/n had imagined if the day would come when Ran would hold their daughter.

Ran bit his lip, nervous, realizing he had never held a baby before, let alone been near one.

As if it was natural, he picked her up, holding her against his chest.

Y/n’s heart tightened watching them have a silent conversation. Ran’s smile softened as Fuyumi gently touched the Bonten insignia tattoo on his throat, her small fingers trying to grab at the design. A soft chuckle was elicited from Ran.

“You need to prove your worth to Yumi.”

Ran’s smile faded as he blinked at Y/n. “Yumi?” He repeated, “what… about you?”

Y/n broke eye contact, “you only need to work on your relationship with her.”

.

Ran visits his daughter almost every day and on the days that he could not, he would video-call her. He took pride in becoming one of her favorite humans. Her excitement when he walked through the door was all that Ran needed to make his day better.

“Hi Yumi!”

Hearing her father’s voice, the ten-month-old smiled brightly, flashing her solo tooth. She leaned against the coffee table, trying to reach for the TV controller that she loved more than her toys.

He picked up and spun her in the air, “did you have a good day?”

“Do you not see the bruise on the left side of her forehead?”

At Y/n’s words, Ran’s eyes widen seeing the new battle wound. “What did you fight today?”

“The TV stand and lost.”

“Losing is not in your blood, Yumi,” Ran scolded softly.

.

It was rare that Y/n would call him.

Especially when it was 3 AM.

“Y/n?”

“Ran, Yumi is running a fever and won’t go down. I – I need you to take us to the hospital.”

He was already pulling his pants on, “I’m on my way.”

Everything was a blur. He reached the hospital and barked for the nurses to look at his daughter. She was immediately taken away from Y/n’s arms and taken into a restricted area.

At that moment, Y/n turned to Ran, his arms wrapped tightly around her body. “It’ll be okay, she’ll be okay.”

.

Two days in the hospital passed by before they could finally head home. Yumi’s cheerful personality had fully returned.

During that time in the hospital, Ran stayed right beside them, only leaving to change and shower and would return. The first night, Yumi struggled and only slept well in the arms of her dad.

The image of Ran sleeping in the recliner with Yumi snoozing against his chest would forever be itched in Y/n’s mind.

“Home sweet home,” Ran sang, walking into the apartment. “Do you miss your toys?”

Y/n smiled, setting down their belongings. “Can you keep her busy while I put this stuff away?”

“Go for it,” Ran answered softly with a smile.

She returned fifteen minutes later and found that Ran had put Yumi down for her nap. She cuddles in the crook of Ran’s long arms.

Feeling her presence, he looked up and smiled and whispered, “she was playing when I noticed her head started to bob and she almost rolled over.”

Y/n smiled and whispered, “do you want to put her down?”

Slowly, Ran followed her to the nursery and set her down easily. When he turned around, Y/n was already gone from the room.

He found her in the living room, seated on the couch with her face covered in her hands. “Y/n?” When she looked up, her tear-streaked face had Ran kneeling in front of her in seconds. “What’s wrong? Why – why are crying?”

She surprised him when her arms wrapped around his neck, “I don’t know what to do without you.”

Ran sighed, relaxing in her embrace. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “It’s the same for me too, I don’t know what to do without you or Yumi.”

After a long pause, he couldn’t believe his ears when he heard her ask, “will you come back to us?”

He pulled away from her and gazed into her glossy eyes, he smiled, “I think the real question is, will you come back to me?” He has already stolen the heart of his daughter, he just needs to earn her heart this time around.

She choked back a sob and wiped her tears, smiling. “Yes, I’ll come back to you.” She cups his face before pressing her lips against his. “I hated you but I love you too much.”

“You can hate me just as long as you love me more,” he kissed her passionately, nipping her lip. “God, I love you too. I missed you so much… I never want to be apart from you or Yumi again…”

“I won’t let you go, there’s no turning back.”

“Done, I’m yours. Just as you are mine, forever.”

They stumbled into her bedroom, quickly shredding their clothes.

“Ran,” Y/n gasped, feeling him thrust into her. “God – I missed you…”

“I missed you too,” he murmured, slowly thrusting into her.

In silence, they both exchange soft gasps and moans, reminding one another why it’ll never work out with anyone else.

Their lips crashed against each other, making up for the lost time as their body continued to move in sync.

“Ran,” Y/n’s nails dug into his shoulder, “I’m so close… please… please let me cum…”

His lips pressed against her throat, teeth grazing against the skin. “Same – cum Y/n…”

Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist and her arms tightened around his neck, “ah – ha… Ran!”

His hips tremble as he cums, filling her womb.

Ran buried his face in the valley of her breasts, “I – I’m sorry… I forgot a condom…” It was Y/n’s laughter that he lifted his head, blinking at her in confusion.

She runs a hand through his lilac-streaked hair, “if you impregnate me again, please just be with me this time around.”

He tugs her wrist and presses a kiss to her palm. “Promise.”

E/n: Sweet daddy Ran is something else.

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>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[violetasteracademic]

On Being a Published Writer: Without a Degree

This is a bit of a vulnerable share today, and I am writing it after a sleepless night, the monster of anxiety and shame weighing heavily on my chest. However, I have come far in life and undergone an incredible amount of healing, and refuse to be ashamed of my past. I hope sharing this can help even one person like me remember that when it comes to craft, when it comes to art, the only thing stopping you from being worthy is you.

This year, I became a published writer. After years of hard work and dedication to my craft, I finally felt good enough to begin submitting my work to literary magazines. I'm proud of that accomplishment. It's a little tag I get to add to my bio now as I submit work that helps make me feel *valid.* But that quickly, all it takes is for someone to remind me that I did not have access to a degree, that I did not learn from the best, and I will spend the rest of my life without a formal education behind my writing, and they achieve the goal they set out: to make me feel less than for not having their background.

In America, the education system is for profit and public school system inconsistent. There are many factors that can contribute to whether or not a person gets through it successfully, and it often has little to do with intelligence, work ethic, or strength of character and drive before the age of 18.

So here is my story:

I graduated high school with a 2.1 GPA.

My first hospitalization (out of the 17 I would have in my life) for edometriomas happened at age 15. I spent the majority of high school struggling with chronic pain, stage four endometriosis and the accompanying endometriomas cysts, and illness. By age 16, social services was threatened by my school to be called on my home for suspected neglect and abuse. I moved out of my house that year, and was given temporary guardianship by a friends family.

By the end of my senior year, I continued to bounce around between friends houses, sometimes sleeping in my car, and struggled to keep on top of my coursework. I was enrolled in the work study program designed for students who had to keep a job during their high school years, and earned school credits for staying employed.

Despite all of this, I still maintained high grades in Advance Placement literature and language, proceeded to get 5's on my AP tests (a perfect score, and a rare accomplishment) as well as near perfect scores on my ACT's. I spent every spare second reading and writing from the moment I learned how. My intelligence and comprehension were not the issue. My health and my home life were.

The only reason I got into college at all was because I decided to audition for a school play freshman year. Much to my surprise, I was cast in the lead role, and thus the course of my life was set. I poured everything I had into acting, I finally had a purpose and something to keep me out of having to go home after school. Still, applying for colleges was one of the most stressful and shame inducing experiences of my life. I got into many top performance programs in the country, then would not get into the university itself with my GPA. The conservatories that did not look into school performance did not provide the financial assistance required for me to attend.

There was one university that offered limited talent admissions that would allow the university admission requirements to be overlooked for students that had displayed exceptional talent in their specialized field of study. I had to put together a request for the school board, complete with letters from my high school teachers providing context for my low GPA paired with high test scores, character assessments on my likely ability to maintain the minimum required GPA in college, as well as a letter from the head of the performing arts department of the university stating that I was worthy of this talent exception. The wait was unbearable. But I was accepted. And I was approved for the work study program that allowed me to gain employment at the university to help offset the cost.

I felt like my whole life had changed in college. I had gotten in. I had gotten out. I was a new person, no one knowing about my past or the stain of my struggles. I had a fresh start. While I continued to battle my illness throughout college, it was manageable with a consistent bed to sleep in every night, as well as access to physical and mental health services. And although I tested out of being required to take any English classes with AP, I still filled my elective credits with writing classes. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, creative writing. Performing became my work, and writing became my joy. I took every class that sounded remotely interesting, often filling my schedule more than required on top of my work and performance load.

I am withholding some of the more personal details of my life, but when I finally moved out to LA, I hit the ground running. I accomplished more in a few years than fellow artists and performers who had been out there for more than a decade. And I valued every person I met. I was in small, independent theatre shows with Juliard grads. I was on professional sets with wildly naturally talented people working to get their GED with no formal education but that undeniable *it* factor. People from all walks of life set out for the Angel City to make it, and I was one of them. I also began writing again, this time short films and audition monologues. I began writing pieces for friends and classmates at their request. I secured my first talent agent with a performance piece that I wrote, along with an offer to renegotiate my contract to include literary representation should I complete a script worth shopping. I began to organize applications for writing fellowships at top studios, when my condition became so severe the only option to move forward with my life was surgery. And then my life completely changed again.

I came out of that surgery with nerve damage that left me unable to walk for six months, as well as developed a new permanent nervous system disorder.

My career and my life never recovered. I was permanently changed. However, during that time, I turned one of my sci-fi short films I had written into a 160k word novel, with outlines for a trilogy. While it was one of the darkest times of my life, writing got me through it. I moved out of Los Angeles to a more affordable city and threw myself into writing. I learned that ivy league schools like Stanford, Harvard, and Yale shared their syllabi for continued study coursework online, including the required textbooks for the courses. Example here. I took myself through the textbooks and coursework of top schools, I took every local workshop possible when it was in budget. Any education on craft that was within my means, I reached for.

I will never be able to change the course of my life. I will likely never be able to go back to school. However, this amazing video by Bandon Sanderson helped me overcome my shame, my lack of access to returning to higher education when my life and career were irrevocably changed: Be Anything But an English Major

I had already done what he had encouraged, pick a subject I was passionate about, fill my college coursework with things I found interesting, and let it inform my writing. While this is not to disrespect or degrade English majors or say successful authors think the degree is worthless, I am simply sharing to say this video helped ME combat against English majors who made me feel worthless for not having access to their diploma.

So to anyone feeling insecure today, you do not need a degree in the arts. Whether you want to be an author, an actor, a painter, a fashion designer, a poet. And I say this as someone whose greatest privilege and joy in life was getting a performing arts degree.

We must continue to prioritize art being accessible, value diverse backgrounds, and wish for it to be open and available to all. We must continue to treat art as subjective, and reject ideals that learning from a certain set of paid individuals makes all other opinions, choices, or ideas invalid.

There is no dollar amount I could give to a piece of paper that would make my mind, my intelligence, and my ability to organize and understand words in an impactful way that would make me more valid than I am today. There is no degree that could replace my work ethic, my empathy, my desire to write stories to do good. To give something to the world and help people survive in the ways that I had needed to survive.

Maybe I'll tell this story again one day, and it will help another young person with my background believe there may be more in life than the cards they were dealt. Maybe this will be the first and last time sharing these words. Maybe I'll never get another piece published, but will continue to write fanfic and poetry and prose pieces to share on the internet for free because I believe in my heart it is valuable. To look at myself, and my work, and deem myself worthy of my efforts and passion.

I am proud to be a member of the community of published writers without a degree.

I am even more proud to be a member of online fandoms full of writers, artists, creators, contributors and more who give their free time and energy towards something that does nothing more than make others happy.

So,

to the people who look at the stars and wish.

to the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered,

this one is for you.

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. prologue. (a.a.)

wc;cw: 2k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap(oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi <3, mentions of insomnia and prescriptions, brief mentions of familial death, brief mentions of weed, alcohol, smut l8r y’all know wassup

You were exhausted. 

You haven’t gotten one second of decent shut eye for the last three days, and you could slowly feel yourself slipping into insanity every second that passed. 

Strumming my pain with his fingers, singing my life with his words—

You’d been silently gnawing through your now rubbery everything bagel when your mother’s speaker rang through the kitchen. You jumped slightly, glancing over to your parents as they eyed each other with bright smiles across their faces. Despite the pounding of your head from the volume of the Fugees, you couldn’t help the softness you felt whenever you saw them in each other's company. They were still so in love after all this time. 

When they heard that you passed the LSAT two years ago, they were ecstatic, even more so than you’d been. You were glad to know that your restless hours of studying had paid off, but you couldn’t help the anxiety that washed over you when you thought about finances, employment, living arrangements. All of the things you didn’t have to worry about at university because your parents were that giving. These responsibilities started to hit you the closer the start of your first semester got, but you thanked god every day for blessing your parents with their intuition. 

They’d been quick to ease any tension that you’d developed over the summer, inviting you to live with them as you finished your schooling. You lived on campus when you were in university, and even though you were disappointed by not having another full experience like you did previously, you refused to pass up the opportunity of free… everything. 

You knew law school would be difficult—your first year rocked you like no other, and although your peers had gotten accustomed to the rigor, you were struggling just as badly as you were back then. 

And it mainly had to do with your inability to fucking sleep. 

You… could not stay sleep for longer than twenty minutes at a time, and it was killing you. Literally. Your friends had been making comments about how worn out you seemed. 

You tried everything: upping the milligrams of your prescription, indica, giving yourself lack-luster, unfulfilling orgasms, and none of it worked. 

Your parents knew about your insomnia since you were a teenager, but you never fully expressed to them how bad it’d gotten since this semester started. Your prescribed sleeping aids were not helping you in the slightest anymore, and you spent most of your nights staring at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom, counting the little glow-in-the-dark, star-shaped stickers that your dad had stuck to your ceiling when you were little. The longer you stared at them, the brighter they seemed to glow, even though you knew that they’d lost their shine a decade ago. 

You had another day of diligent notetaking and highlighting ahead of you, but all you could think about was fucking sleep. 

Hi baby .Some friends from work will be over today when you return from class .Sorry for the last minute warning .I love you & be safe .🥰❤️

You sighed heavily as you read your father’s text, your instructor's voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard as you sent your dad okay. love you too. 

You always loved your father’s vibrancy: you’ve never known someone as social as him. He loved to speak, to make friends, to learn the inner makings of their mind with genuine curiosity. He had such a comforting and attentive aura, and it lured people to him like they were on strings, and he was a puppeteer. 

But having company over tonight was the last thing you wanted right now. 

And your favorite pen was running out of fucking ink. 

Dammit. 

You pulled your front door open and was instantly met with the sound of laughter and glasses clinking. It was almost nine, and they were still here. 

… Great. 

You stepped in and shut the door behind you, immediately kicking your shoes off and walking towards the steps. 

“And where’re you going, young lady?” 

Your mother’s voice made you halt, and your head dropped in surrender. 

You turned towards the group spread out across the living room, and you smiled as widely as you could manage, adjusting the heavy bag on your shoulder. 

“…Hey, y’all,” you said awkwardly, raising your hand up in a stiff wave, earning some chuckles and warm greetings. 

You inspected the room as they all greeted you. You recognized most of the faces from small gatherings that your parents had in the past, but your eyes were drawn to the unfamiliar woman sitting on the love seat near the television, glass of wine in hand. 

Her cheeks were tinted pink, her blonde locks draping over her… broad shoulders and back. She was dressed in a white, floral sundress with strappy sandals, and you couldn’t stop the flutter in your chest when she wiggled her fingers at you in a wave, gently saying Hi, I’m Abigail. I don’t think we’ve met.  

“… No, we haven’t. Nice t’meet you.”

“You, too,” she said, her smile brightening. 

Your father cut in, “Baby, tell her about your law student endeavors! Abby used to attend!” He turned to her to continue his boasting, “She’s almost done with her schooling, I can’t even believe it!”

Abby nodded as she sipped her wine, her eyes darting to yours in curiosity, encouraging you to tell her about your education. You shrugged, “Uh, yeah. I’m almost done. Trying to be done… I’m dying inside.” 

The room rang with laughter, Abby's soft giggles filling your ears. You squeezed the strap of your bag tighter at the sound. 

“I know the feeling. You’re better than I was, for sure. I was two seconds away from becoming a gravestone.” More laughter shook the room as she shook her head as she reminisced, taking another sip of wine. 

You nodded, urgent to get upstairs and shower, “Yeah, it’s rough. But, uh… I’m exhausted. I’ll leave y’all to it.” 

You turned to rush upstairs, only trekking one before your mom’s voice stopped you again. Your legs were this close to giving out. 

“Wait, honey! Can you help Abby make the charcuterie board before you go? Maybe she can give you some advice about getting your Master’s!” 

… What advice would she give? She didn’t even finish school!

Your body was begging for you to lay down, but you spun towards the guests, “Can I change first?” 

“Sure, hon!” 

You caught Abby’s eyes one last time before you left, her gaze… hard to read. It made your hand grab the rail of the stairs tighter before you bolted up the steps as their chatter picked up again.

Abby was… very nice. 

You’d only been working on the charcuterie for about ten minutes, but you felt comfortable talking to her. 

You’d been curious as to why you’d never met her before, and you were eager to know more about her: how she met your dad, what her role was at the office, her… failed master’s program. She went into detail about her short-lived adventure at Harvard Law, and you couldn’t eliminate the shock on your face as she retold the story.

She’d received almost a full ride in scholarship fund due to her remarkable academia, but even with her suffocating schedule, she found time to fall in love with somebody. 

Then fell—

“—pregnant. Perfect timing,” she said with light sarcasm, and she neatly placed the crackers on a China dish. You shook your head at the mention of children, grabbing a plate from the cabinet above you, “Couldn't handle school’n and being pregnant, so I dropped out.” 

“… I don’t know if I should say congrats or sorry,” you huffed a laugh, suddenly feeling guilty about your judgment of her earlier. She shook her head with a grin. 

“Don’t say either. I’ve gotten both responses and I hate them equally,” she said with a playful glare, her mouth raised slyly. You chuckled gently, placing grapes on the plate. 

“I get that, at least you had time for a partner n’all that. Don’t tell my parents but… I haven’t talked to anyone since I started,” you said with slight embarrassment. 

“Shit…” you saw her eyes widen from the corner of your eye as she crunched on a cracker. “Yeah… you’re superhuman. I don’t know what the hell I woulda done if I didn’t get… yeah. Sorry.”  

Your cheeks ran hot as you huffed awkwardly, “It’s, uh, fine. I’ve just been really busy’n I’m sooo tired. I’m just… not thinking about that right now…” 

“I can tell…” she turned to look at you softly before continuing, “I can tell you’re working really hard. You looked like you were gonna hit the floor when you walked in.” 

Because you were. 

“I’ll be fine,” you stared into her soft eyes, studying her face. You couldn’t help but memorize the curve of her nose, the soft dots and small scars on her face, her rosy lips. You saw her eyes flicker down your face before looking down at the tray. You quickly changed the subject.

“So, how old's your kid?” you asked curiously, reaching for and opening the new pack of fresh mozzarella. You heard her breath catch in her throat. 

“She, um… she would’ve been around your age,” she barely whispered, and you nearly shot yourself in the foot.

You whipped your head to look at her, immediately setting the food down on the tray, your heart saddening at the implication.

“Abby, oh my god, I’m so sor— “

She shook her head at you with a sad smile, “Don’t worry about it, you didn’t know. I’m good.” 

“Still, I’m so sorry, that’s awfu— “

She placed a light hand on your shoulder, “Hey, you didn’t know. I’m fine… I’ve been fine since it happened.” 

You could feel her thumb rubbing into the fabric of your t-shirt, your bra-strap moving with her caress. You could feel a chill building at the base of your spine, slowly creeping up your neck. 

“Not to brag,” her voice got surprisingly low, a teasing grin creeping onto her face. You almost shuddered. “But I think I’m doing pretty well given the circumstances. I’m making a fucking charcuterie board like some rich auntie. If that isn’t proof, I dunno what is.” 

You gasped out a laugh. You hadn’t realized how good she smelt, like a fucking rose garden and Cabernet. You noticed her slightly leaning into your space, just barely, and your heart pounded against your chest. You averted your gaze down to the floor.

“You’re so tense,” she whispered out between you two with furrowed brows, evident concern in her voice. “And you look exhausted. Are you doing okay?” 

You felt the hand still planted on your shoulder massage into it, her thumb gently pressing into the skin above your collarbone, and you sighed at her touch.  

“… No— “

“Giiirls, what’s the hold up! We’re feelin’ peckish!” 

You heard your father’s mischievous voice call out from the living room, and you pulled away from the woman who’d gotten way too close to you. You skittishly returned your attention to the loaded food tray, finishing the last bit of plating before grabbing the handles and rushing out to the crowded area, leaving Abby in the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine from the fridge. 

Your parents’ friends hooted at the sight of the tray as you set it down on the coffee table. You hurriedly turned to say goodnight to your parents, but you accidentally bumped into a flushed Abby with an unopened wine bottle and cork in hand. 

You brainlessly grabbed the bottle from her, your fingertips brushing against hers. You could’ve sworn you felt her grip tighten around the neck. 

You took it from her grasp, setting it down on the table before pushing past her, your arms brushing. You bent down to peck your parents on the forehead with a shaky call of goodnight to everyone. 

You quickly raced up the stairs trying to convince yourself that eyes were not burning holes in your back, rushing into your room and shutting the door softly. 

What the fuck was that! 

those pics r not eating omg

im mad late my bad yall lol

taglist? :0

mwah bye

part one. part two. part three. interlude. part four.

[taeraemisu]

your love is my medicine ; hanbin zb1

synopsis ; in which hanbin is there by reader’s side to help go through the pain

genre ; fluff, chronic pain!reader, perfect boyfriend!hanbin, established relationship, they are in a hospital in case that will trigger anyone

pairings ; hanbin x reader

word count ; 0.7 words

requested ! can be found here

a/n ; it’s been so long omg how are yall !!!! and also to anon i hope you like it this is like my first time writing soemtbing like this LOL i hope i didn’t mess up

you groaned as you turned and turned on your bed. you put the pillow over your face. the bright lights were hurting your eyes so bad.

your body was aching all over. you were getting so tired. no matter how much you tried to sleep the pain away or take painkillers, it just won’t go away.

you sat up despite the pain, you wanted to turn the lights off. which nurse thought it was a great idea to on the lights so early in the morning? you were about to get off the bed when—

“what do you think you are doing!”

you heard the door slide open and you looked up to see a familiar guy in a blue hoodie. he closed the door behind him, immediately coming by your bed and getting you to lay back down.

“you shouldn’t move,” he said, making you lay down again. he was holding a few plastic bags and placed them gently on a nearby table. “i got us some breakfast.”

“hanbin,” you mumbled, feeling aches all over. “the lights, it’s too—“

hanbin immediately went over to the light switch, dimming it down. “there, better?” he asked softly, coming by your side again. you nod, closing your eyes. you just felt so tired. you spent the most of the previous days going through tests and checkups, you were exhausted.

hanbin smiled, sitting down on a stool beside your bed. he pat your head, relaxing you. “i got us some breakfast in case you were hungry. i got your favourite sandwich from the stall across my house,” he whispered softly, standing up again and getting a sandwich he out of the plastic bags he was holding earlier.

he came back by your side as he unwraps the packaging. “the auntie there asks me how you are doing,” he said as he held the sandwich in front of your mouth. he began to feed you, watching you softly as you take a bite. “i tell her you are doing better but you will still be here for awhile.”

you reached out to get the sandwich out of his hands but hanbin pulled back, shaking his head. “let me feed you.”

“but i can do it myself,” you pouted.

“i know, but let me help you.”

“but—“

hanbin shoved a piece of sandwich into your mouth. “i want to.”

you stopped protesting, letting him feed you. once you were done, hanbin unscrewed the cap of a water bottle and handed it to you, making you drink.

he watched you drink, a small smile on his face. once you were done, he took it back from you, putting it away. “do you have anything to do today?” he asked, playing with your fingers.

“probably more tests,” you replied, sighing. “they need to test my blood levels again so…”

hanbin nodded, patting your head again. you were afraid of needles so having to deal with them almost every day wasn’t really the best. he knew that, of course. he knew how much you always dreaded them so he always made sure to be there when you have to go through the whole process.

“it’s okay,” he said, smiling at you. “i am proud that you are still so strong.”

you turned your head to face him, smiling softly. “you go through this every single day, countless of checkups and tests,” he continued. “and you still manage to be the happiest, best person ever. you always tried to show that it doesn’t affect you but it’s okay, you don’t have to hide it around me.”

hanbin leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the forehead. “you will get better and won’t have to take more tests. you will get discharged and go out about in the world. and i will be with you, every step of the way.”

you smiled even brighter. god, how did you get so lucky?

“thank you,” you mumbled, bringing your hand up to his cheek. you caressed it softly as he leans into your touch. as much as how you hated being there in the hospital, it was okay as long as you had hanbin by your side.

him being there was your preferred way of getting better. who needs pills and tests when hanbin is by your side?

© taeraemisu do not copy my works !

perm taglist ! (send an ask) ; @wtfhyuck

[bellaxgiornata]

All These Years [Part 4: "All the Broken Pieces"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4.4k

a/n: Our next update is finally here! This one features a very sad Matty and more pining. Hope you're enjoying the pain still because there's more to go! You can find the entire list of installments for this series here. Our next update will be "Graduation" I believe and it should be the end of our college pining days (but the start of more pining post-college).

Tag list: @theetherealbloom @acharliecoxedfan @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets (for some reason tumblr isn't letting me tag you, friend!)

You were currently slumped over your laptop on your bed focused on your assignment. You’d wanted to get a headstart on it, grateful that for once your roommate was going to be at her boyfriend’s dorm for the entire night and not yours–a rare occurrence on a Saturday night. So rare you’d even canceled your Saturday night plans with Foggy for the first time ever earlier today because of it. Though he’d been understanding and almost excited because he’d later told you that he’d scored a date with Marci for the evening. You were happy for him, looking forward to grabbing coffee tomorrow morning to hear how the date had gone.

Though there was a part of you that felt a bit lonely just sitting here on your bed working on homework all by yourself on a Saturday night. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting way to spend an evening in college, but it wasn’t like you had too many others to spend your time with. Sure, you had another group of friends you'd made from classes that you occasionally spent time with when you weren't with Foggy and Matt pre-Elektra. But really, deep down, there was still only one person you wished you could be with tonight. But that was never going to happen. 

Matt was still with Elektra. It had been just over three weeks since you and Foggy had accidentally walked in on them having sex and Matt had said some hurtful things before you’d said some in return. You’d barely seen him since, which didn’t really surprise you. The one time you had run into him briefly you'd been with Foggy. Matt had tried to apologize to you again for what he'd done and said. In return you'd offered him a clipped apology as well. It had seemed like he'd wanted to say more, but of course Elektra had called and interrupted. And that had been that. You had tried not to think too much about it since, busying yourself with schoolwork. It had gotten to be far too painful for you to be around Matt. 

With a huff you glanced down, noticing the time on your laptop and realizing it was close to when Foggy was going on that date with Marci. You picked up your phone and flipped it open before taking a moment to scroll through your text messages until you found Foggy's name. You pulled up a new text and began typing up a message. 

6:42PM:  Hey Fog, good luck on your date! I want the details tomorrow!

Closing your phone, you set it back on the bed beside you as you focused on your assignment again. It was barely a minute later before the sound of your phone vibrating met your ears and interrupted your focus, though. Absently you reached out, picking it up and flipping it open to read Foggy's text.

FOGGY 6:43PM:  Might have to cancel on her :(

You frowned, your eyes narrowing as you reread the message. Why would he need to cancel on her? He had been talking about Marci nonstop for weeks now. You knew how excited he had been for this date. Fingers flying across the little keypad, you typed up a message. 

6:43PM:  Why do you need to cancel?? You've been dying for a date with her!

Impatiently you stared down at your phone, waiting for his response to come through. What had happened to make him want to cancel his plans?

FOGGY 6:44PM:  Matt and Elektra broke up. He’s a mess. Doesn’t feel right leaving him here alone

Your eyes went wide as you read the text over and over a handful of times, your brain trying to process the information. Matt and Elektra had broken up? Just now? How? Why? And who had actually been the one to end the relationship?

So many questions began racing through your mind. Your body felt like it didn’t know how to properly react. All of your emotions of excitement and relief mixed with despair and heartache for Matt were quickly swirling in your stomach making you want to grab your trash can and vomit. You’d hated Elektra, and you had certainly hated who Matt had become when he’d been with her, but at the same time, the thought of Matt a heartbroken mess in his dorm room had your own heart twisting and writhing in your chest. He didn’t deserve that pain even though both you and Foggy had known the day was coming when things would end.

And apparently that day was today.

Biting your lip, you sat on your bed suddenly feeling torn. Part of you wanted to help Foggy and Matt by offering to stay with Matt. That way Foggy could have his date and you’d be able to comfort your friend. Because you cared about Matt despite how shitty things had been between the pair of you over the past few weeks–really, the past few months. Though you knew if he really needed you, you’d always be there.

But the other part of you was hesitant to offer up your comfort to Matt. You had very strong feelings for Matt still, feelings that he had no idea about. And the thought of sitting with him and trying to pick up all those shattered pieces of his heart that another woman had smashed to bits sounded like absolute torture. Especially because you desperately wished he would entrust you with that very same heart. And you knew you’d happily treat it with so much love and respect if only he’d just want you like that in return. Never in a million years would you ever want to break it.

But you were only his friend.

Eyes dropping back down to Foggy’s text, your thumbs hovered over the keypad. Exhaling a long breath, you knew exactly what you were going to do. Truthfully you didn’t even have to think about it. As pathetic as maybe that made you seem, you loved Matt. And if he was hurting, you’d always be there. 

6:48PM:  I can stay with him, Fog. You go enjoy your date.

Saving your progress on your laptop, you began picking up the mess of scattered books and papers on your bed. Your phone vibrated along your sheets when you had begun to turn off your laptop. Reaching over, you grabbed it and spotted the new text from Foggy.

FOGGY 6:50PM:  No, I can’t ask you to do that! You crazy??? I know how you feel about him still!!

Setting your jaw firm, you typed up one final response to Foggy.

6:50PM:  DON’T cancel your plans. OMW over now.

Gathering up a few of your things, you tossed them into your backpack. You weren’t sure how late you’d be staying at Matt and Foggy’s dorm, but if Matt wanted to wallow silently then at least you’d be able to finish your work while you kept him company. You slipped your phone into your pocket before tossing your backpack onto your back and then you exited your dorm. 

It took you about ten minutes to leave your residence hall and make your way to Matt and Foggy’s before riding the elevator up to their floor. But the closer you got to their dorm room, the more nervous you felt yourself becoming. You weren’t entirely sure what to expect when Foggy had said he was a mess, and you weren’t entirely sure how the sight of it was going to make you feel. Nevertheless, you forced yourself to continue around the corner until you’d made your way down the hall and stopped in front of their room. You took a single, shaky breath in before you raised a fist and knocked twice.

The door swung open a few moments later to reveal Foggy with his long hair combed neatly. He’d even managed to throw on a clean, button up dress shirt that you weren’t aware he’d even owned. You’d never seen him wear anything other than tee-shirts, most of which displayed some sort of band logo on them. You shot him a small smile, one he awkwardly returned.

“You cleaned up well,” you told him.

“Thanks,” he said. “You uh, you sure about this?”

You nodded, forcing a wider smile onto your face. “Yeah. Matt’s going through a hard time and he’s my friend. I want to be here for him,” you answered.

The look Foggy shot you when you’d called Matt your ‘friend’ had not gone unnoticed, but you refused to acknowledge it. Though Foggy eventually stepped aside, gesturing you into their dorm with a wave of his hand. 

You stepped inside and saw Matt curled up over the sheets of his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest and his back facing the door. His shoulders were drawn up tight towards his neck, his head visibly tucked into his chest as well. Swallowing hard, you felt tears stinging at your eyes instantly. You were certain your heart broke in that moment. He looked so small .

“So I uh, I actually need to head over to Marci’s dorm soon,” Foggy said awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Your attention returned to Foggy and you saw the way his face fell at the sight of yours. He opened his mouth, most likely about to tell you he wasn’t going to go on the date, but you quickly nodded at him.

“Yeah, go on,” you told him. “Don’t be late. Doubt she’d like to be kept waiting.”

“You’re…sure?” he asked hesitantly.

Sniffling lightly, you nodded again. “Yeah, go on,” you replied. “Go enjoy your night.”

Foggy mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he grabbed a jacket and left. And then you were suddenly alone with Matt who had remained silent and motionless on his bed. Nervously chewing your bottom lip, you made your way over to Foggy’s bed and slipped off your backpack, setting it down. Turning towards Matt’s bed, you awkwardly tugged the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands.

“Hey, Matty,” you greeted softly.

He whispered your name in greeting back, his voice cracking as he did. Somehow your heart fell even further in your chest at the sound.

“Do you–” you paused, wincing at how dumb this sounded even to you, “–want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” he answered.

Your tongue darted out, nervously wetting your lips as you nodded. Slowly you sunk down onto the end of Foggy’s mattress, awkwardly crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes dropped down to your dirty shoes.

“I loved her,” Matt whispered.

Instantly your eyes snapped shut at those three words spoken so heart wrenchingly softly in the room. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart giving an awkward jolt in response.  God, this was going to be more painful than you’d anticipated. 

“I know,” you replied just as quietly.

“But it wasn’t enough,” he said.

Your arms tightened even further around your chest as if they could keep your heart in place. “What happened?” you asked.

“She wanted me to do something that I–I couldn’t do,” he confessed. “So she just…left me. Without a word.”

Anger clawed at your chest, rage desperately wanting to break free and lash out at Elektra. What could she have possibly wanted Matt to do that he couldn’t? And how did that justify leaving him without a word? How utterly heartless was Elektra?

“You deserved better,” you stated, fighting to contain that seething anger inside of you. “No one should make you do something you don’t want to do. And they certainly shouldn’t punish you for it.” Your teeth grit together, hands curling into fists inside of the sleeves of your sweatshirt. “You deserved better , Matt,” you repeated firmly.

“But I loved her,” he whispered.

Sighing heavily, you shook your head. “Maybe–maybe you did, Matt,” you began, “but I’m not so sure it was reciprocated. Certainly not in the way it should have been.”

You braced yourself for the verbal lashing sure to come your way. For the raging, protective side of Matt that always appeared to defend Elektra. The one that had made you cry not too long ago. 

Instead, Matt sniffled loudly, somehow further shrinking into himself on the bed. A tear managed to slip out of your watery eye and you quickly wiped it away with your sweatshirt sleeve.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “You and Foggy were both right. I'm sorry I was–was such a shitty friend."

Shoulders dropping at his apology, you felt your expression softening as you watched him on the bed. His head slowly rose from the pillow and turned towards you, his eyes landing on you on the end of Foggy’s bed as if he somehow knew you were sitting right there. You could clearly see the blotchy redness on his cheeks and the glistening tracks of his tear streaks. His face was pinched tight, his mouth twisted into a deep frown.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "You and Foggy deserved better."

Your gaze dropped down again, your hands fidgeting inside of your sweatshirt sleeves. "At least you see that now," you mumbled.

The sound of Matt shifting along the mattress caught your attention and you looked back up. He was pulling himself into a sitting position, resting his back against the headboard of the bed. He looked broken sitting there with his pain written clear across his face like that. The sight alone gutted you. You truly hated Elektra for whatever the hell it was she had done to him. 

“Everyone always leaves me,” he whispered.

Shaking your head firmly, you pointed out, “Foggy and I are still here.”

“Yeah, but you–you left me for a bit, too,” he replied. “And I don’t blame you. I was an ass. But still–you left.”

Your face fell instantly at his words. It felt like he’d ripped your heart right out of your chest and threw it on the ground.

“I didn’t leave you, Matt,” you told him. “I’ve always been right here. I still am. I’m–” you sucked in a sharp breath, “–your friend.” The word came out of your mouth like broken glass, cutting you up from the inside out as you said it. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

His mouth pulled upwards in a sad, disheartened smile. Even from the end of Foggy’s bed you could spot the tears shining in his eyes. The moment one of them slipped out, you were pushing yourself off of the bed and making your way over towards him. 

“Scoot over, Matty,” you ordered.

He didn’t hesitate; Matt immediately began sliding towards the edge of his bed and making room for you. You climbed up onto the mattress beside him, resting your back along the headboard, too. The entire right sight of you was pressed up against the entire left side of him, from your shoulders all the way down to your legs. It was the closest the pair of you had ever really been–certainly the closest to cuddling and crossing the border of friendship that you’d ever been with him. 

You couldn’t fight the urge to lean in a little more into his side. Seconds later you felt Matt pressing further back against you, and then very gradually you felt him slowly come to rest his head along your shoulder. A smile slipped across your lips as you cautiously tested the boundaries, lowering your head to gingerly rest against the top of his.

“Thanks for still being here,” Matt whispered.

“I’ll always be here, Matt,” you repeated softly.

He nuzzled his head further along your shoulder and your eyelids fluttered closed. Cuddling–you were cuddling with Matt. And sure, it was strictly platonic, especially because he was literally heartbroken–you weren’t going to lie to yourself about that . But that didn’t mean you weren’t enjoying every goddamn second of having Matt to yourself like this. Of having him right there for the first time ever.

“I’ll always be here, too,” he murmured, his voice a deep rumble.

The sound of a door softly closing faintly registered in your ears, your nose scrunching at the sound. You stirred slowly awake, eyelids gently raising. But then you quickly squinted, the light of the room bright in your eyes. It took you a moment to adjust to it, but when you did, you spotted Foggy standing at the foot of your bed with wide eyes. Your own narrowed back at him, wondering what he was doing in a rumpled button down in your dorm room.

But then you noticed the weight on your shoulder and your eyes grew wide. Gaze swiftly dropping down, you spotted Matt’s unmistakeable leg still pressed up against yours. Very carefully you withdrew your head from atop his, your eyes still wide. The both of you must have fallen asleep like this last night shortly after you’d shown up. Apparently you weren’t the only one who’d been comfortable enough to stay asleep the entire night.

“Oh my God ,” Foggy whispered roughly, your attention quickly shifting to him. “Did something finally happen?”

“What? No!” you whispered back, barely shaking your head. “No! He’s literally broken up over his ex, Fog. How could you even think that?”

“Because of exhibit A!” he harshly shot back, waving a hand frantically at Matt still asleep on your shoulder.

“We just–just fell asleep,” you told him.

Your focus dropped down to Matt’s sleeping face and a soft smile formed along your lips. He looked peaceful lying along your shoulder, not a crease of worry or a single tear anywhere on his face. His lips were ever so slightly parted and you could hear the faint, even breaths as he exhaled. What you wouldn’t give for this to be a nightly occurrence. Or to be able to gently card your fingers through his hair and place a soft kiss to his temple. For him to wake up and glance in your direction, his eyes creased from a warm smile on his own mouth as he whispered ‘good morning’ to you. 

What you wouldn’t give for Matt to say he loved you .

“So then what did happen?” Foggy pressed.

“He told me a little about the break up,” you answered.

“He did?” Foggy asked with a gasp. “He wouldn’t say a word to me about it.”

Your attention was still on Matt’s sleeping face as you spoke. “He didn’t tell me much,” you admitted. “But he told me enough. And she–she definitely broke his heart, Fog.”

“I know,” he said, tone softer than it had been. “How’re you doing?”

Your head darted in Foggy’s direction at the question instantly. “What?” you asked.

“After last night,” he clarified. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m–I’m fine,” you told him.

Foggy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at you. Not wanting to talk about that right now, especially not with Matt asleep on your shoulder, you quickly changed the subject. 

“How was your night?” you asked him pointedly, waving your left hand at him. “I see you’re getting back early in the morning. Someone doing the walk of shame?”

A bright smile quickly spread across Foggy’s face, the warmth of it radiating easily around the entire room. “I wouldn’t call it a walk of shame. More like a…walk of satisfaction. Success. Triumph!”

You rolled your eyes. “So you got laid, did you?” you teased.

“Yes,” he answered with that beaming smile. “Yes, I did.”

You laughed lightly, shaking your head. “Good for you, Fog,” you said.

A soft groan came from beside you and your smile quickly fell. Matt began to stir against you, slowly lifting his head from your shoulder.

“Morning buddy!” Foggy called out.

“Ugh, morning, Fog,” Matt grumbled, his voice a bit hoarse. 

A sheepish smile crossed your lips as you glanced at him beside you. “Morning, Matty,” you greeted him shyly.

He froze immediately, his head tilting to one side. “Did I–did I accidentally fall asleep on you last night?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered awkwardly. “But I guess I fell asleep on you, too. So…I guess that makes us even?”

His lips curled up slightly at the corners, his expression a little brighter than when you’d first shown up last night. The sight alone warmed you.

“So who wants to hit up the dining hall for breakfast?” Foggy asked enthusiastically. “I could go for all of the bacon and eggs. Like literally all of it.”

“Your night went well, I take it?” Matt asked, voice still rough from sleep as his attention turned towards Fog.

“Yes it did my friend,” Foggy replied excitedly. “So who’s hungry?”

You shrugged a shoulder. It was Sunday morning, not like you had a class to get to or anything. And you did need breakfast.

“Sure,” you said. “I could certainly go for some eggs and orange juice. Maybe some coffee after because you owe me details about your date, Nelson.”

“Oh, I don’t think you want to ask him for details,” Matt cut in quickly, shaking his head. “You’re not going to want the details.”

“Why not?” you asked him.

Both of Matt’s brows jumped up high onto his forehead at your question, a small grin forming on his mouth. 

He was so damn beautiful it physically hurt.

Quickly snapping out of your thoughts, you pulled a face and lightly slapped Matt’s arm. “Gross, I don’t mean details about the sex! I want to know about the date !”

“With Fog, they go hand in hand,” Matt told you.

“So what about you, Matt?” Foggy asked from across the room. “You want to grab breakfast with us?”

You slid off of Matt’s bed, readjusting your sweatshirt and trying to comb your fingers through your hair. It looked like Matt was thinking, his eyes landing somewhere near you at the side of his bed. A few moments later he nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” he answered softly. “Yeah, I’ll come with.”

“Great!” Foggy shouted. “It’ll be just like old times again! The three amigos!”

“Not if you don’t stop being so chipper,” you shot back. “It’s way too early in the morning for that level of excitement.”

“I second that,” Matt said, slowly scooting himself across the bed towards you.

You watched as he rose to his feet next to you, fighting to keep your hands to yourself. The urge to reach up and draw him into a hug, hold him close to you yet again, was stronger than you'd ever felt before. You assumed it was because you'd now knew what it felt like to fall asleep cuddled up to Matt all night. And it seemed that was going to make things even more difficult for you now.

"Alright, well, I'm starving so let's go before the dining hall gets busy," Foggy said brightly, clapping his hands together. "Today is going to be a beautiful day, I can feel it!"

You huffed out a laugh, watching as Foggy exited the dorm. He was definitely more awake than usual. 

"You uh, mind handing me my cane?" Matt asked. "Think it's on the nightstand."

"Oh, yeah," you answered quickly. 

You turned, grabbing his cane from his nightstand. Turning back towards him, you placed it into his outstretched hand. He muttered a soft 'thanks' as he began to unfold it, your eyes watching the deft movements of his hands as he did. 

"Can I bother you for one more thing?" he asked as he worked.

Your gaze slowly drew up to his face, pausing on his own eyes. He was looking somewhere near your chin, the weight of his sightless stare raising the hair along your arms. You could still see the hurt and pain plain as day in his hazel eyes despite the way his mouth was gently curled up at the corners this morning. He was still grieving Elektra. You weren't stupid enough to think otherwise even if he wasn't curled in a ball crying in his bed right now. 

You'd also be lying if you said you didn't wish you could mend all the broken pieces of his heart for him. Fix it back up and make it better than new with the love you had for him burning so hot inside of you. You just wanted to reach up and kiss him. You wanted to find the courage and the words to express how much he meant to you and how he deserved the world.

You just wanted him.

"Yeah," you breathed out.

"Can you hand me my glasses?" he asked. "Don't really feel like being stared at today."

Blinking hard a few times, you pulled yourself out of your thoughts. Clearing your throat, you nodded as you forced a smile onto your face.

"Yeah, uhm, let me find them," you answered.

"Probably also on the nightstand," he offered softly. 

"Right, yeah," you mumbled.

Swallowing hard, you turned back to the nightstand. Tears were pricking at your eyes and clouding your vision for a moment, but then you spotted the dark frames and picked them up. You handed them to Matt's outstretched hand and watched as he slipped them on. He shot you a little smile afterwards, one that had your heart squirming.

"Thanks," he murmured. "And uh, thanks for staying with me last night. It–it meant a lot."

You nodded, glad he couldn't see the watery smile on your face as you did. "Of course," you croaked out. Pressing your lips together, you tried to control your emotions. "That's–that's what friends do." 

You cleared your throat roughly again when Matt’s head tilted curiously to the side, his dark brows pulling together on his forehead.

"We should probably go before Foggy comes back and yells at us," you said quickly. 

"He's probably already forgotten about us," Matt joked. 

You laughed lightly, wiping a sleeve across your damp eyes. "Probably right," you agreed.

"You–you mind guiding me?" Matt asked hesitantly. 

Your gaze dropped down to his hand hovering in the air between you both. A small smile returned to your face at how close this almost felt to how things were before Elektra had fucked everything up. 

"I don't mind at all, Matty," you answered. 

As you reached out and drew his hand to your arm, you couldn't help but notice how tight he gripped it this time. Something about the way he held onto you felt…different. Almost as if he needed you.

But you shoved that absurd thought aside as quickly as it had come before leading the pair of you towards the dining hall.

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Word count: 2300+

Warnings: mentions of puking, emotional and mental stress, mixed feelings

Honestly, this part was a pure struggle💦 Except of Rhysand's offer that I wanted in this chapter I had nothing..

Also I've got a little carried away🤷

Part X | Part XII

Two weeks had passed since Rhysand, your brother, brought you to his court. You calmed down a bit, partly accepting the situation and giving him the chance he asked you for. Maybe the powder he mixed every morning into your tea, could have something to do with it. Not even honey could beat over the bitterness that remained on the tongue.

Of course, you could refuse the tea, but you were afraid someone would force it down your throat anyway. You felt Rhysand watching you carefully until the teacup was empty and only then the tension in the room eased. And so dutifully pretending you didn't notice anything, you drank it.

Whatever was that powder for, your desire to return home hadn't changed at all. At this point you felt really homesick, trying to hide it in front of others. It was useless to show your weaknesses, your vulnerability. Nobody would help you get out of here anyway.

You were gradually introduced to Rhysand's friends and family. Some of them claimed to know you since you were a newborn, some seemed to be new additions like Feyre, your brother's mate, and her sisters. Everyone was nothing but nice and friendly to you, but you were still uncomfortable around them.

Every time Rhysand had some free time, he spent it with you, showing you the city or taking you for walk in the large garden around the house while telling you stories of past. Morrigan, your cousin, did the same. They tried really hard to make you remember something.

Even now you were sitting with Mor on terrace of some cafe in the city, river running under it, attracting your attention like a magnet.

She told you that before you had been basically best friends, always spending time together and breaking all the rules parents set. However it didn't help to change your feelings or to be more relaxed with her. It was apparent she had a certain expectations and it made you even more uneasy. Just like with Rhysand.

Today she took you out to drink an ice tea, the drink she claimed to be your absolute favourite one. Before.

After the first few sips you swore never touch it again. It was everything except of delicious or tea.

You tried to keep up with her, listening to all the memories that supposed to be yours, but it felt rather as memories of someone else, someone so different it couldn't be you. None of the things you'd been told so far, felt familiar. It just made you tired and your head threatened to explode with pain.

You were trapped in this strange city, with these strangers. You couldn't sleep, eat nor drink, hardly dragging yourself through the days. Large garden around Rhysand's house took some of the stress away, but it wasn't enough. You needed the forest, your cottage, walks in nature, fresh air. You needed even him, although it hurt to even think about him. The first few days you still hoped he would appear and take you back home, but your hope died like plucked flowers in a vase leaving only a bleeding hole in your heart.

Mor finally gave up and took you back to your brother's house. She had that strange expression that reminded you of a mask holding all her emotions back, only her eyes revealed some sort of sadness. You were sure she would go to Rhysand and tell him about your afternoon, about your lack of response or interest. She always did. You couldn't care less. You weren't here by choice, you didn't want this. None of this.

Letting a sigh of relieve out, you went up the stairs and shut the door of your room behind. You needed to be alone, another thing that was very rare to have here. There was always someone with you and even when they left, you still felt eyes hidden in the dark corners following you around. Were you becoming paranoid? Most likely yes. But the unpleasant ticklish feeling on the back of your neck was always present.

You wanted to curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out, but first you had to go to toilet. This city, this house, all of them reeked of magic so strong that you were nonstop on the edge, hardly managing to hide the nausea from them. Another weakness you didn't want them to know about. A few gulps of ice tea you forced in, left your body, but it didn't help. Real relief never came.

Panting you moved to the sink to rinse your mouth. You rather avoided the mirror knowing what you would see. Dark circles under the eyes caused by bloody nightmares that wouldn't let you sleep, sunken cheeks because you couldn't eat and anything you managed to force down, ended up in toilet as soon as you were in your room. You didn't know how long your body could keep going like this, but you knew it wouldn't be long.

You returned to your room and winced in surprise. Rhysand stood in front of the bathroom door with tortured expression, his brows furrowed, jaw tightened, fingers clenched into fists on his sides. His violet-blue eyes searched yours. He seemed to want to say something, but his lips were firmly pressed together.

Great. Now he knew. You tried to avoid his gaze and get to the armchair near the window. But he stopped you. His arms embraced you, pulling you to his chest. You just stood there, unsure what to do. Even if you tried you couldn't fight him off.

"Tell me what should I do," he whispered to your hair. There was so much pain in his voice. Funny.

As far as you knew, he sincerely cared about you. Problem was you couldn't return the sentiment. No smile or amount of shared memories could change it. You weren't the person he remembered anymore. Asking him to let you go back to your cottage was a waste of time, too. You already tried it and he refused.

After a few heartbeats Rhysand recovered, his hands stopped trembling. Instead he moved them to your cheeks, thumbs caressing them gently.

"I talked with Madja, the healer who visited you this morning," he led you to bed and sat down. You did so, too. "She said you are exhausted and need a good night sleep. She left this tonic to help you sleep soundly." He put small bottle on the nightstand. "Two drops before going to bed would do," he smirked, but his eyes stayed sad.

You looked at vial. Another medicine to control you and your feelings. Even though you knew he meant this well, it only added on your anger. You rather stayed silent, decided to never take the mixture.

He seemed to choose next words carefully. "However she couldn't find a cause for your.." His voice died out and eyes wandered back to bathroom door. So he had noticed it even before. Of course. It wasn't surprising at all. He also knew about the nightmares after all. "Until now I didn't want to pressure you. I hoped you could meet our family, get to know them again and the memories would begin to appear on it's own. But it doesn't work, does it."

You shook head. He gave you another sad smile and looking down Rhys started to play with your fingers. Silence filled the room.

"Aury-"

"Don't call me that," you snapped. You were allergic to that name. Whoever that Auriela person was, she was dead. You weren't her.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to offend you.. It's just.. habit.. kind of comfort. I didn't hope that I would ever see you again or talk to you. But I wished every day you were here with me. I wished you were alive. You and our mother." Tears filled his eyes and he blinked to get rid of them. You didn't react.

High Lord cleared his throat. "I.. Let's talk openly. About everything." He swallowed hard. "I'm trying to understand how you feel, what's going on with you, how you lived all this time.. and I'm terribly failing. Please. I want to understand. Whoever you are now, I'm accepting it. I don't want to change you. I just want my sister back. The closeness we had." He watched you with desperate expression.

You frowned, confused. No matter how many times he reminded you that he was your family, for you they were only words. It'd never occurred to you to try to see it from his point of view. Apparently you weren't the only one to suffer in this situation. Thinking that maybe he deserved to get a chance, that you should give him a chance to get closer, you nodded.

His eyes widened for a moment, then he blinked rapidly and ran fingers through his dark hair. "Okay." He cleared his throat again.

"To be honest I thought you wouldn't accept my offer," he muttered, visibly taken aback by your willingness to discuss things with him openly. "I haven't thought the things over-.. Where to start?"

"How about you tell me what's that powder you add to my drink?" You frowned at him, expecting him to deny it.

"Oh, that," he gave you a small smile, squeezing your hands. "We noticed you are still in pain. Azriel said you seem to have headache constantly. He also suffers from it, so no wonder he noticed the subtle signs. And I quite often saw you wincing while moving around," he explained, noting the disbelief on your face. Then he added quietly. "I'm really sorry for what happened when we arrived. It's all my fault."

You were speechless. It was hard to believe it, but all about the headache and the muscle pain was true. It also made you realise how much they paid you attention even if they weren't looking directly at you. "Thank you," you murmured.

Silence stretched.

Rhysand watched you, pondering. "Would you tell me why.. what causes.." his head tilted in the bathroom door's direction.

Did he have to take out that topic again? You inhaled deeply, preparing for the worst kind of conversation. You wished for Tamlin to be with you. He'd never asked these things. He was very observant and intuitive. He noticed your fear of magic and never asked you why or what caused it. Not that you could explain any of that. He silently accepted that part of you and avoided using powers around you. With him, it was so easy. Everything was easy and full of happiness. You blinked quickly to get rid of such thoughts.

"It's because of magic.." you said, taking your hands from Rhysand's and instead you wrapped them around your chest protectively. "I don't like it. It makes me feel sick. Always did. This city, this house, you all stink with magic.."

Rhysand froze on the spot, he seemingly forgot to even breathe. "I had no idea," he whispered. His scent shifted, the air in your room changed, too. The smell of power disappeared, only the subtle citrus scent remained. After weeks you could finally breathe freely and relax a bit. It felt so good that closing your eyes you smiled. Rhysand's eyes tracked that movement. "Is it better now?"

"Much better. Thank you."

"What happened? You used to have no problems with magic before, even used it yourself."

"I don't know," you answered honestly. Walls around your heart cracked a bit, letting him in. "I don't remember what or who I was before. I don't remember any of you."

This time he only nodded, probably expecting it.

He asked you to be honest, so you were. You almost regretted what you were about to tell him. "All this time it feels as if you were telling me about a life of someone else. I couldn't be more different from the person you knew."

Lowering his gaze Rhysand stood up and strolled to the window. Leaning against its frame he looked out to the garden, his back turned to you. You didn't know what he felt at that moment, but you were torn. He was still stranger to you, yet you didn't want to hurt him. After all you weren't a cruel being and maybe, just maybe, you began to feel a certain kind of affection for him that you didn't want to admit.

"So you really don't remember what happened that night," he asked, snapping you out of thoughts.

"That night?"

"The night our mother died. The night you supposedly died, too."

"I-.." Images of streams of blood staining the ground, running down your arms that you saw in your nightmares, popped out. Pressing fingers to your temple you shook your head to push them away. Rhysand watched you out of the corner of his eyes over the shoulder. "I'm not sure."

"Dear sister," he sighed, his voice suddenly cold and distanced. "Do you know what my powers are? What daemati can do?"

You'd never heard about daemati, but the feeling that you should know that, remained and was strong. It sounded like something you should be afraid of. "No, I don't."

"I can look into your pretty head, see any memory I want, change them if I wish so. I can also crush the minds, but that's not what I'm offering you here. I could try to revive your memories. I could take away the fear that some of them make you feel." He slowly turned to you, watching you with wariness. "Would you like me to try that? Do you want to remember your past life?"

You stiffened, cold shiver running down your spine, breath catching in your throat. Could he do that? And more importantly did you want him to do it? You needed time to consider his offer. It wasn't an easy decision.

"It's up to you. You have as much time as you need." And with these words he left, leaving you alone with your confused mind.

Taglist:

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