#i think all my jokes about them both being bottoms who think they're tops would make it interesting though 🤣

[masschase]

for the ask meme, i’m kinda curious to learn more about johnny and casey’s dynamic. they hooked up right? how do you think an actual relationship between them would’ve gone?

Also a fun one and um... I've had the worst sleep last night so I apologise if this is horribly incoherent.

OK, so... if Casey and Shaundi is the hookup that happened way too late, Casey and Johnny was the thing that probably shouldn't have happened, at least from their perspective. I feel like I could go into all the reasons it did in fact happen and it would be a whole fricken post plus you-know-who is involved and I'm trying not to bring him up in these 🤣

But I feel like these are more about how things would work if they did get together, let's say that was their most logical starting point. Except maybe not quite. Their romance scene obviously goes hard and it shaped the way I write Casey as rambling when she's emotional until someone shuts her up which is one of my favourite things ever honestly. But I can also see it being an instant, intense... considerably goo-smeared... kiss the minute they reunite.

There are also other moments where it could have happened; after the shared grieving of Aisha and Carlos, just before the bank heist (yes, I can't get over that thing I wrote even if it doesn't fit Casey. It could easily be rewritten to fit Casey, honestly. All that would need changing would be the thing about that Boss being a spoilt rich kid.). Either way I see this being something that would be most likely happen on the ship because it's the only place it really fits in their history. So if it happened then...

I mean it's GatBoss for god's sakes. I'm pretty sure I shipped them while playing 4. At the early stages of my fanfic they were implied to have a much less platonic journey too. But now with the developed character Casey is it's a lot harder to see it.

I mean they do love each other, it's not so hard to reframe that as romantic love. They have fun together, they like the same things. The getting to know you stage was so long ago I feel like they'd have to do a lot of it all again. Casey would absolutely tease Johnny about the 10 year age gap because he's squicky about it whereas she's not too bothered.

I don't think they'd really engage in PDA, I think they'd be pretty cute behind closed doors though. I think they'd argue a lot because they can both be incredibly stubborn at times, but the makeup sex would be incredible. I don't know who the fuck is going to be their live in chef after they take the new planet because neither of those fuckers can cook. Honestly they can hire someone from the pods or it'll just be Ben.

Johnny is absolutely one of the first to call Casey out on her bullshit. Yes, again this would lead to arguments. But you have to bear in mind he also really gets how her excuses about relationships and marriage are in fact excuses because he's known her forever. Eventually she'd confide her full past in him and he'd just connect the dots.

What does this mean? I think they'd get married. Relatively quickly. Johnny would bring it up when Casey starting asking about kids, honestly, which we know is something she wants from the presidency onward. Almost like a "Aight if we're gonna talk about this we're gonna talk about ALL of this." sort of thing. They'd probably be planning it pre-GOOH(by which I mean Pierce would be planning it with some input from Casey, because we know Johnny's disastrous at that) and originally planning it to be on the ship but then... honestly...

I don't know where that whole volleyball tournament takes place. But one could imagine it was on some purgatory-ish beach somewhere. People from hell were allowed there, people from heaven were allowed there, Johnny and Kinzie were allowed there. That's where Johnny and Casey would get married. That way everyone could come. Everyone.

They'd make sure to do it before the war for the planet. Speaking of which, the whole "pairing people up to make them get along" would go out of the window. The action couple is absolutely going out there side by side. Possibly without the robots seeing how that discussion came about. But the Saints would still win, I think.

God I feel like my response here has gone off the rails a bit I was just going to talk about their dynamic haha. Would they stand the test of time? Maybe. I really can't stress enough that I've literally never sat down and thought about this before.

So yeah. In my universe it's definitely a platonic soulmates vibe. But it's really not that hard to imagine a world where it's not platonic.

[shukakumoodboard]

*Pulls out my massive bag of money and jewels and blow* I’m your biggest fan so I must pick your brain now that you have a tumblr ask box. your finest gaalee romance hcs my good sir. Please

help.

I’m your biggest fan

did you know im crying ab this. kissing u on the face rn

ok gaalee romance headcanons. i've been thinking about this for days. grab ur mojito mix lets frockign gaur

ill be upfront in that i have very few i'll-die-on-this-hill opinions about the boys, but here's some i'm pretty stuck to <3

sfw headcanons

1. lee's better with words, gaara's better with actions, and they're both secretly envious of the other for it: my thoughts here are that gaara spent so much of his life not understanding love that he'd still struggle to articulate it in flowery ways that i think, as a born theatre kid, lee would be good at. but gaara would absolutely be that person who shows it in subtle ways -- like taking care of someone when sick, remembering food preferences, always ensuring lee takes care of himself when lee forgets or is busy having a self-flagellation moment. not that i think lee would be incompetent, but he strikes me as more of a scatterbrain, but would always be on top of verbal reassurances and affection (which i also think is what gaara would benefit from: clear straightforward declarations of feelings and intent)

2. they're both super cuddly in private look, you put together a touch-starved former monster vessel and a social outcast who mostly knows touch from violence (until gai) and you are going to get some clinginess imo. you can't convince me they're not the kind of people who would sit side by side at the dinner table so they can eat holding hands. bro (emotional)

3. they're probably actually really shit at "conventional" dating hear me out ok. they're like initially so far away and gaara is the whole president and lee kicked a meteor in half one time you think they can just wander around and go to restaurants? it's absolutely nonsense that shinobi don't suffer village celebrity paparazzi syndrome in nart tbh. not exactly the same but i have a whole wip in the bort-verse about them sneaking around. tldr i'd bet they sometimes get casual breakfast or dinner but i think more likely takeout and quiet time together as opposed to like fancy dates

4. language learning and hobbying as a form of devotion as a purveyor of my wares u may notice i have language headcanons. it is also my gaalee romance hc that they learn each others -- i've incorporated this into in the space between and a wip called multilingual, which is all about nejiten teasing lee about his crush on gaara in front of the man. i also think that lee would lean into gaara's gardening stuff with gusto because if it's something gaara loves, lee would want to love it too.

nsfw headcanons huehuehuhe

1. they're switches and i WILL die on this hill i think this is self explanatory but listen. listen i am SIQUE of the assigned top/bottom nonsense they both deserve to rail and also be railed. i may be the resident owner of the Rock Lee Fucks tag on AO3 but i also own the Gaara Fucks tag. ill kill a man over this

2. lee is absolutely a service anything this ties into the previous one. a big component of his canonical personality is that he's a disciple of gai -- he's a follower who bases a lot of himself around those he cares for. not the kind of person who is suddenly going to crop up with an intensely specific preference, imo? i think he would base his role on whatever his partner needs the most at the time.

3. rock lee's canonically huge dick ok lol listen. listen this one's canon jokes aside i think lee is hung as detailed in We Don't Talk About Fight Club and i will continue that joke. that being said i think normal hung. not arizona tea can hung which is a hilariously illustrated discord joke

4. tbh i think they're kinda vanilla in the bedroom i say this in a positive way i think they'd be far more into like, just being able to be with each other instead of getting into wild sexual mischief all over the villages although they definitely bone in weird places secretly. they Fuck, but like i don't see them as super kinksters or anything. however, i have seen many a kinkfic that im like nodding my head this is valid cakesitting bdsm what who said that

5. gaara's vaguely nebulous oral fixation i really have no justification for this one i just think some of those animal bijuu instincts might linger and turn into what that mouth do idk i keep going to write smut and whoops my whole body slipped and gaara's licking something. happened in fight club and fight club II, happened in hole time, happened in tgod, happens in at least two wips i have cookin' in the background... what is goin on actually

dkghkdf i hope you enjoyed this episode of kel's questionable headcanons. i really enjoyed answering, thank you so much for the ask <3

[issie-https]

A-Z Headcanons

Slash X Reader Headcanons

A/n: Istg, I’m gonna rip my uterus OUT! Anyways, enjoy this😋 Also, lmk what you think about the handkerchief thing🫣

Word count: 1059

Warnings: Smut through and through!

Masterlist

༺✩༻

A - Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Angel. "Do you want me to rub your back?", "Do you want me to run a bath?", "Do you want to cuddle?", "Do you need anything?". He cares so much. I'm calling it now, him and Steven are the best at aftercare. Especially if he's been a bit rough with you.

B - Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's)

He loves his hair and his hands(who doesn't?!). He knows his hair is perfect. And he loves his hands because they make his two favourite things make amazing sounds. His two favourite things being you and his guitar(duh).

His favourite thing about you is your mouth and your ass. He's 10000% an ass man. He smacks your ass every time you walk past him. As for your mouth, he loves to kiss your lips, ruin your lipstick and he loves when you suck him off. Just sayin'.

C - Cum (anything to do with cum)

King of Cum-land. He loves to cum on your face and make you clean it up. He also loves to cum in you and eat it out of you.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

It's a secret for both of you but he loves to take pictures of you both fucking or you fucking yourself and he takes them with him in his wallet or whatever and looks at them when he misses you on tour. You also have a little secret Slash stash in your bedside draw and girl, they're a werk of arttt!

E - Experience (how experienced are they)

Expert level shit. He's experienced but kind of immediately like if you lost your virginity together, you'd think he was lying and had been fucking for ages. But he's just naturally a sex god.

F - Favorite Position (self explanatory)

Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. He likes to see you on top , riding him until he has to thrust up into you because you're so fucked out. He loves to look at your face but doesn't want to be stuck in missionary for the rest of his life. Also mentioned in K & W why.

G - Goofy (are they more silly or serious in the moment)

He loves to keep it serious or sweet but jokes will be cracked every once in a while.

H - Hair (how well groomed are they)

Keeps it classy. Trimmed but not shaven at all. 100% matches his hair, dark and curly.

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Depends on his mood. If he wants to fuck you deep and sweet, he will. If he wants to fuck you deep and rough, he will.

J - Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

He loves to masturbate and cum on you just to make you clean it up. As mentioned before, he loves to cum in your mouth or on your face or lips. If it’s just a quick one while he’s on tour and away from you, you’re the only thing on his mind.

K - Kink (one or more of their kinks)

BDSM, S&M, Bondage, blindfolds, breeding, dirty talk & more. Okay, straight into it. Regarding the BDSM & S&M, I did some research and he wears a black handkerchief on the left. Which means he's into S&M AND he's a bottom. Whether he does it ironically or unironically, I'm rolling with it. Tie him up, fuck him senseless. He loves it all, ig.

L - Location (favorite place to do the do)

Bed or kitchen. He loves to bend you over the worktop and bury himself deep inside you. With the bed, it allows for more free play and more of his kinky shit.

M - Motivation (what gets them going)

Anything and everything. Teasing each other is a big turn on.

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs)

I don't think there's much he wouldn't do but permanently marking you would make him feel like a bad boyfriend/Fiancé/husband.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skills)

This mannnnnn! UGH! Your pussy is like a delicacy to him. He eats you out like a starved man. He also loves when you suck him off but prefers to eat you out.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual)

Fast and sensual if that makes sense. On special occasions, he can be slow and soft but almost always he loves it hard and rough.

Q - Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex)

Depends on his mood. If he's too tired to go a full round, you're getting a quick sesh.

R - Risk (are they game to experiment)

Yeah, definitely. He loves to experiment with you and see what gets you going more or less.

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

All day & all night. 24/7. Constant. He loves being in you in anyway possible.

T - Toy (do they own toys? Do they use them?)

Y.E.S!!! He has a little of almost everything but specifically blindfolds, vibrators and cuffs.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

King of the tease. He loves to fuck you until you're screaming for him to let you cum.

V - Volume (how loud are they)

Depends. Majority of the time, it's a groan, whimper or low moan. However, he loves for you to get vocal so have some throat sweets on standby bcos you’re gonna loose your voice xoxo

W - Wild Card (get a random headcanon)

Back on the S&M thing. When he first told you, you were a bit surprised because he's Slash, he comes off as a top but when he told you he likes to be on the bottom, you took a second to let it sink in, then got on top of him and fucked him until the cows came home.

X - X-Ray (let's see what's going on in those pants)

He's got size and girth, hunny. 6-8 inches, nice and thick, slight curve. It's not unbearable but it's enough to wind you.

Y - Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Horny most of the time but he's just that way🤷‍♀️

Z - ZZZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards)

Waits until you're asleep and taken care of and then settles down for the night.

[therealeagal]

Baldur's Gate 3 - companion ranking.

Decide for yourselves whether my list is accurate or not. Whichever you decide, please do @ me, bro. I'm interested to know who your favorite character is!

I switched up my usual intro. What do you think? Anyway. Let's begin. This is a list of the companions in Baldur's Gate 3. I think I got all of them. There's so many. They are enumerated from best to worst.

Wyll Ravenguard, the Blade of the Frontiers. Really got a stick up his ass. I try to romance him and he starts throwing out disapproves whenever I talk to someone else. Motherfucker I'm not the one flirting with them I just want to know what they're up to. Stuck up piece of shit. Also I guess he's a hypocrite that literally sold his soul for power (he says he had a good reason…) But mainly I'm mad about him being a fucking diva when other people flirt with me. Fuckin' Wyll… Wyll stans got pissy at me because they didn't get the joke. Well, his placement at the very bottom of the list was a joke. Don't tell the stans, but my review was completely accurate) What? I didn't say anything. I mean, Wyll Ravenguard is Ao's gift to humanity. There exists no person in this world that is better than Wyll. I could wax loquacious about all the ways in which Wyll is perfection beyond perfection, but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say that no matter what Karlach's entry may suggest, Wyll is truly the greatest of the great.

Scratch the dog. Maybe it's just because I'm a dog person, but there's no way you can convince me that Scratch isn't the best.

The owlbear cub, for much the same reasons as Scratch. Although I can't say I have any strong feelings one way or the other about owls or bears...

Karlach. No question that Karlach would take the top spot if Scratch and the owlbear weren't around. As she is the first companion that is both A: a good person and B: not a prick about it on top of being irrepressibly cheerful and kind, there is no question that Karlach is the best official companion (Scratch and the owlbear are more pets/familiars than companions). I mean, Gale is also a good guy too and he's not an asshole about it, but he's kind of a tool. Karlach is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

Editing this one in, because I FORGOT WITHERS! Rookie mistake. Sorry, Withers!

Jaheira. I never played the first two Baldur's Gate games, but I understand that Jaheira is a returning character. Either way, she's a fuckin' badass. A regular in my final party.

Shadowheart/Lae'zel. It's hard to choose between the two. They've both got excellent storylines, which are actually quite similar in a lot of ways. And they're both badass chicks. What's not to love?

Boo, the miniature giant space hamster and his human familiar, Minsc of Rashemen. Also often a fixture in my party, because he's funny.

Gale Dekarios. To be honest, I wasn't crazy about Gale at first. Kind of pretentious. But he's grown on me. Yes, he is kind of a tool, but at least he generally likes it when I'm nice to people, unlike a certain vampire who shall remain unnamed... also he eats three of my magic items. Not that I was using them but it's the principle of the matter!

(this is Wyll's true rating, but ignore it because obviously he belongs at the top of the list. PLEASE LIKE ME!)

Halsin. Ever wanted to fuck a bear? In every sense of the word? Well, have I got news for you!

Astarion. WHY DO YOU HATE IT WHEN I'M NICE TO PEOPLE, ASTARION??!?!?!?!?!? IT'S SO ANNOYING!!!

The dirt.

The worms inside the dirt.

The stool of the worms inside the dirt.

Minthara. A giant asshole. Which I guess is to be expected. Still better than Solas. Yes, I know they are from two different games. Shut up. Fuckin' Solas...

The Emperor. He of the gaslighting and the tentacles.

The Absolute. Yes, the main bad guy. I'd rather hang out with the main bad guy than...

Oh, lemme edit this in. Just in case. If you, for some reason, get your dander up about the contents of this list, please refrain from reblogging this to just whinge about what a terrible person I am. Not that I am opposed to someone challenging my ideas, but the death spiral does get tedious quite fast. If you really really got an axe to grind, try the PMs. Please and thank you. :)

[thetwelfthcrow]

Top 5 F1 ships

this is tougher to answer than i thought it'd be, solely bc i'm soooo focused on two ships that i can barely think of anything else. anyway! here's a top two+ three-pretty-ok-ships:

1. obviously, 4433 | lewis hamilton / max verstappen

it's got everything you ever need in a ship. rivalry, looking up to each other, being genuinely impressed, dumb jokes, heart eyes, always together on the podium (for a looong time), always greeting each other with a failed fistbump or a hug... this is a complicated ship due to the age gap, the negativities (the media drama), the constant fighting, but there's nothing more special than going through the epic highs and lows together, always finding the other guy waiting for you, breathing down your neck and then you're the one breathing down his neck. that push and pull, that cat and mouse game? unreal. this is a ship for connoisseurs and if you do not understand it, i can't blame you.

i could've easlily cheated my way through and put 3344 right under this one since i'm literally uncaring when it comes to who's top and who's bottom or who's dom and who's sub. that goes for any of the ships, btw. i'm too old for top/bottom discourse and since i swing both ways, everyone i write swings both ways.

2. nortrell | lando norris / max fewtrell

it may just be the complete opposite of 4433 in literally every way. but it's got that familiarity, that feeling of home they find in each other. but also the pain! the pain of lando living the dream that max would kill for to have. but also the acceptance, the compelte lack of jealousy. max does not want to be in lando's place, he wants to be beside lando. he doesn't want to have what lando has, because that'd mean lando doesn't have it. he wants to have it too. and this doesn't even touch on the codependency, the cutting meat for each other, the taking care of each other, the living together. max knowing when to talk about what with lando and when to not mention something. to defend lando on his stream, to vocalise the boundaries that lando doesn't say but does have. and also the ribbing, the not taking each other too seriously, the bullying -- they're just a safe haven for each other. a place where lando isn't mclaren's f1 driver lando norris, but just bob. a place where max isn't a streamer with a failed racing career hanging like a dark cloud above him, but just max. a place where they can be themselves, truly themselves. once again, a place where they can be home.

we're into pretty ok ships territory! these are ships i do not actively read and or write for, but when i see them together i go awww now hold hands!

3. norstappen | lando norris / max verstappen

a ship that never misses. great friends off grid, no tension between them, love to joke around, suuuuper supportive of each other (i didn't expct mclaren to be there, i always expect lando to be high). max likes to surround himself with people that don't admire him, that don't try to rub his ego, and lando would never. they don't take each other seriously! and also, whenever lando calls max, max answers and takes his time for him (like on stream multiple times). lando hops on whatever max is doing, like iracing, even after leaving redline. it's just good vibes all around!

4. piarles | pierre gasly / charles leclerc

tough one since i don't know all too much about either driver other than what i see other people talk about when it's in relation to drivers i do know a lot about. but! this is a cute ship. these guys always find each other, at a basketball game, on vacation, wrapping their arm around each other. good stuff, i love seeing homosexuality on main. it makes me happy that they're utilising their mediterranean nature to full gay extent! love seeing it.

5. maxiel | max verstappen / daniel ricciardo

i only mention this one bc i have a complicated relationship with maxiel. i like the guys, i like seeing them hang around each other and joke, i think daniel brings out the true comedian that max is more than he shows naturally. i just. i don't. i find it a bit of a lazy ship. of course you ship them! they hug, they joke, they laugh together, max shows his crinkly eyes and genuine joy and surprise, daniel ribbs him just to get that rise ouf of him, knows what cards to play and what buttons to press. it's easy with them, which is nice. and there used to be tension, sure! but the fics have basically been writing themselves and i like a challenge.

sorry it took so long anon! but here you have a breakdown of ships. other ships that deserve an honorary mention are dando (fully due to nadia ngl), yukierre, charlos, versainz, and probably some more but tbh i've been wayy too obsessed with nortrell and 4433 to think about anyone else. cheers babes!

[autisticbee]

Just saw your newest posts about Dan Vs so would you mind sharing those I need my daily dose

Of Dan Vs thoughts? Sure. Here's some random thoughts & hcs. got a little long oops (I can't remember how to do read more on mobile...)

- Mr. Mumbles is immortal. why? Who knows, but it's a silly cartoon so I get to hc the cute kitty as immortal, alright?

- I've seen ppl joke about dan vs """cancel culture""" but the thing is, I think he'd be all for it. I think he'd find it funny. I mean the dude has his own version of a call out list.

- Dan has hypermobility (1. He mentioned having a double jointed thumb 2. I have hypermobility and I say so)

- Chris is pansexual but doesn't realize it until later in life, he honestly had just not thought about it too hard & had only had a few relationships prior to getting married kinda young, all with women, until something leads to him realizing his feelings for Dan are not entirely platonic & it's just like. Oh.

- Dan on the other hand is pretty openly bisexual, he has a preference for men(projecting 🤪) but has (... slightly) better luck with women (men are more likely to want to kill him)

- something, that's not a life or death situation that gets magically reset, prompts Elise to tell Chris the truth about her job. because I hate the fucking person can't tell their partner they're a spy/agent/superhero/what the fuck ever trope it Feels Bad Scoob and Chris has expressed sometimes feeling a lack of communication between them in the show which ):

- speaking of Elise finds out Chris is part bear but in like the most casual way possible

Elise: I'm thinking of making Chris see a doctor, he gets sluggish and strangely irritable during winter months which makes me wonder if he might have seasonal depression.

Dan: nah, that's just the bear part of his DNA

Elise: the. the what.

- Dan and Elise both have C-PTSD (I don't think I have to explain why Dan does, Elise's is from basically being trained as a child soldier & just that she's likely experienced many traumatic things during her job), Elise copes with it mildly better than Dan but she's mostly just better at putting up a front of normality

- also Dan is obviously autistic. he's undiagnosed and doesn't realize until he's in his 20s or 30s. The discovery of noise cancelling headphones make his life a little bit easier

- Chris is also neurodivergent in some way but I haven't narrowed down the flavor yet 😭

- Dan is a trans man this is fact in my head I won't accept anything else, I have like tried to work out timelines and shit just to make it all fit within canon(yes I know most ppl just go screw canon but I just like making things work within it, I'm weird like that). I can't decide if he's had top surgery(post-job at the chicken place, hence the funny note about it) or he just naturally had a small chest and testeorone "masculinized"(for lack of a better word) it somewhat (cause I did prior to going on multiple medications that I could sometimes pass as having a flat chest). He doesn't want bottom surgery cause he doesn't see the point (slightly nsfw: "until they can give me synthetic semen and a prostate I'm not interested"). again mostly projecting there lmao

EDIT: in case this wasn't clear, I mean he sees no point in it for himself, not that he thinks nobody should have bottom surgery

- Dan is a closeted romantic. This is hinted at in canon imo, the thing with the anger management lady is clearly a metaphor for wanting more than a fling. Dan seems to take his romantic attraction to people very seriously, like with Hortence despite not interacting with her much. also his face when Honey kissed him. he's just secretly a big sap who wants to be loved

- Dan is a catboy in spirit. I say in spirit because he has no idea what a catboy is but he's just sooo kitty cat coded. knocks things off tables when annoyed. plays with toilet paper. claws and bites. I hc he meows as a stim with Mr. Mumbles sometimes. Also he hisses at people.

- I know what Chris said in the family cruise ep but I like to think Chris does actually think of Dan as family, mayhaps the holding out the hand scene was a acceptance or realisation of that, maybe that's what the thing he was going to say but forgot towards the end was. this isn't even really a buddyshipping thing it's just that me personally if my best friend didn't consider me family I'd want to jump off a cliff(/j) so I can't handle the thought (seriously though what was Chris going to say. It haunts me.)

- I'll end this on a fuzzy feelings self indulgent headcanon. Dan, Chris and Elise(+ Mr. Mumbles) become a weird little family of ther own. Dan and Elise are like frenemies, who share the same partner, but also deep down they care for each other. platonic love/hate relationship <3

[watatsumiis]

omg ok. who do you think would be a minecraft speedrunner though?

The first person to come to my mind, for some strange reason, was Barbara. It would be something that her fans asked her to do as a joke, but she had a lot of fun with it and does casual speedruns every now and then! I could see her hosting a lot of games and events that everyone always participates in because she's just such a sweet and bubbly person! She does a lot of lockouts, building competitions and hide and seek, just lighthearted things like that! She's had a few very lucky speedruns so is right up the top of the leaderboard! She also finishes most runs, even if they're going poorly, so she's experienced with most aspects of speedrunning!

Scaramouche would be way into speedruns, he's super hardcore about them, like makes one tiny mistake and resets, so he hardly ever actually finishes a run. His best time sits a little below Barbara's, which he's secretly super bitter over. Both of them play together every now and then and they have surprisingly good chemistry - the grouchy hardcore player and the bubbly easy-going player collaborating seems to be a really popular duo!

Childe also does speedruns, but less as a competitive thing (though it definitely is that too) and more of just a way to keep his brain busy, he likes having a set direction to go in and tasks to complete. He livestreams his runs, but doesn't provide much commentary or interest, it's mostly just him staring intently at the screen for upwards of eight hours. He's up near the top of the leaderboard, simply due to the sheer amount of the game that he plays. All the little tips and tricks are like muscle memory to him now, and he sometimes 'trains' other streamers (like Barbara!), teaching them all the corner-cutting tricks he knows!

Bennett also speedruns - he hovers down near the bottom of the leaderboard, the only reason he's on there is because of this hilarious string of upwards-oriented fails that somehow managed to turn out well for him. He's not an amazing player, but his determination makes his runs very fun to watch, because even when everything is falling apart, he's so sweet and optimistic, and always bantering back and forth with his chat! He's still rising in popularity, and it's a well known fact among his chat that he's a huge Barbara fan - he occasionally gets invited along to her events, but he often fails in the first round.

Columbina also speedruns on occasion, but her runs are more like her satirising other players, or very obviously cheating because she thinks it's super funny.

The person who holds the top record, however, is Sandrone! She's a brilliant mathematician, and has a lot of the odds memorised off of the top of her head, and has an uncanny knack for being able to tell whether or not a run is 'a good one' within the first minute and a half. She's quiet and doesn't provide much commentary, because she's just running the odds in her head, concentrating on this mental equation that most people couldn't even begin to parse when written out. She often gets accused of cheating, but she just likes numbers. She's extraordinarily good at calculating where the end portals are, and only ever needs to glance at the coordinates once when she spawns in or teleports between dimensions because she can just track it in the back of her mind.

[marley-manson]

Hawnk or Henry/Hawkeye

lol thank you 💖

Hawnk

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I watched the show and thought to myself, it would be funny if these two guys fucked, and somehow I completely believe they would both absolutely go for it in the right circumstances.

They're also a shoe-in for a sexual dynamic I'm really into lol, ie confident cool bottom/awkward loser top, and it's incredibly fun to write Frank from Hawkeye's point of view. So maybe it's not really a surprise that my first Mash fic was Hawnk lol.

I don't really endgame ship them because I can't quite make it work in my head and even if Frank turned a political 180, which I could totally believe, he still wouldn't be like, fun enough or cool enough for Hawkeye lol - but I want to endgame ship them because it would just be so funny.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Hawkeye bullying Frank while Frank fucks him

The sheer unadulterated "him??????" factor of anyone from the 4077 finding out post canon.

How completely awful and obnoxious and pathetic Frank is because it's fun to write.

The concept I have in my head of Hawkeye and Frank both knowing full well the other would be dtf and carefully stepping around that knowledge in their own heads.

Frank's hilarious level of repression, ie imo he's not actually repressed, but he wishes he was and pretends to be, even to himself. But like, the instant a cool dude expressed interest he'd be down because he craves validation that much.

It's actually pretty versatile considering - like it can range from comedy to angst to darkfic without stretching the characterizations.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

One thing I want to mention because I've seen a few people complaining about it recently: I don't think it matters that Frank getting character development or more 3 dimensionality in fic goes against the themes and even genre of the show. Fanfic is transformative. I would never have wanted Frank to get character development and become someone Hawkeye could fuck without cringing in canon lol, but that's exactly what fanfiction is for.

But idt that's actually an unpopular opinion, so here's another one: it's the most entertaining possible ship for Mash. I ship HawkTrap more because it's what Hawkeye deserves, but Hawnk is just so incredibly fun lol.

Hawkeye/Henry

This is tough lol, but I'm gonna go with

Ship It

What made you ship it?

I don't ship it in the sense of ever wanting to read about them falling in love, I couldn't buy that, but I do ship it in the sense of "it would be funny if they fucked," which definitely counts as shipping to me.

What made me ship it is probably the jokes and the rapport they have. I can pretty easily headcanon that Henry, Trapper, Klinger, and Hawkeye are the 4077 lgbt club lol, and Henry is actually the most canonically bi of all of them in the sense that the punchline of a few of the jokes is Henry earnestly and unselfaware-ly being attracted to Klinger.

So like, maybe they fucked? Why not? Maybe they occasionally fuck when their dates fall through. They both got that swingers into nsa sex vibe.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

It's funny! There is actually a compelling power dynamic too, with Henry as CO and Hawkeye as the manipulative gaslighter who always gets his way. Adding sex to that is like a flavour enhancer.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Being into it at all, probably lol. Also I have a standing headcanon that Hawkeye blew Henry a few days after his arrival when he realized Henry was bent, in a bitter bid to get preferential treatment, before realizing that it was entirely unnecessary, and they joke about it after, which I doubt is a common take lol.

ask meme

[toxic-potions-productions]

"It really is you" (Demon Slayer) (Manga spoilers???)

This is what I meant in that last post where I apologized in advance for a drawing of these two I was gonna get out

I can't tell if this has any specific Manga spoilers, so a warning is there just incase ^^"

I'm also not even gonna bother with the Kanji or even TRY to do it anymore for Koku or any of the other uppermoons if I ever draw them since it's such a pain in the ass

I was actually finished with it last night, but was too lazy to past it right away so that's why it's posted today. Also, in the last posts with Zakiko & Yuzuki being different ranks, just ignore what I said. They're hashiras, so they're both hashira rank. I know how demon slayer ranks work, I promise! I'm just very stupid qwp

Also, Zakiko becomes a half-demon in the late Sengoku period instead of Meiji, so ignore that too. Again, I is a dumb bitch

Anyways, the top part is in the Moonlit reunions arc where the two meet in an abandoned garden at nighttime & eventually realize who the other one is. After she introduces herself to him, Koku feels a bit of familiarity with her name. It isn't until he takes a look at the Cresent moon pin she has that really made it click with him, even though it was a delayed reaction for Zakiko. He hugged her & she was confused for a second, but did eventually realized it was her old friend

& the bottom part takes place in the Infinity castle arc in the castle itself where Zakiko fights Koku next to Sanemi & Gyomei. But not making it out alive, unfortunately. & you also get to see Zakiko's blade & hilt, too (Yes, I did my research & learned moon breathing users blades are light purple. Bless you, tik tok!). Koku is about to attack Gyomei & Sanemi again but Zakiko interrupts him with the first form of Moon breathing & knocks him back a bit. After hearing the two talk to her for a second & say how relieved they are to have her there, Koku's praying it's not actually her & he looks up to realize it is, hence why he looks so horrified & she looks so numb & sad. Sanemi even joked with Zakiko saying how she must be more intimidating than he thought if she can easily scare uppermoon one himself just from being there. Tsk tsk, if only they knew the whole story

Fun fact, Zakiko actually has scars on her face & hands when she goes into the afterlife from her fight in the real world. I just thought that nice little detail would be pretty cool

Also, just because I'm down bad for Kokushibo doesn't mean I'm gonna ship these two together. The love they have is a platonic, found family love if you really wanna know so badly. Besides, I just think they'd just be better off like that (Mostly cuz it wouldn't work anyway since Zakiko likes girls mostly LMFAO)

I'm gonna have a nicer drawing of these two later to make it up to all of you for the angst, I promise!

-------------------------

Zakiko Shibata by: Me

Kokushibo from: Demon slayer

Demon slayer by: Ufotable

Do not steal, trace or copy.

[teaveetamer]

Since you've written a lot of Dimidue, I wanted to ask about why it appeals to you. As a fellow Dimidue shipper, I'm always intrigued about why other fans gravitated towards it. Personally, I multi ship Dimidue, Dimilix, Sylvix so I'm not a "die for one ship" type of fan lol. But the 8 Blue Lions are so ship able together that they're all so easy to poly ship as well. There's very little I won't ship in the Blue Lions because they're all so interesting and well written and great dynamic together

Idk to be honest because it definitely wasn't my main when I started with the fandom. I think it was a couple of factors:

#1 I honestly just didn't expect to like it as much as I did.

I don't hate the lord/retainer dynamic in FE, it's just that usually the execution leaves a bit to be desired. Like Leo/Niles. I don't hate it, but it was always missing something to really sucker punch me and get me on board. Never really knew what it was though, until Dimidue came on the scene.

I think what really took them over the line was just like? How much of a unit they already seemed to be? I mean you literally cannot escape them talking about each other. Even Dimitri has dialogue in 3H where he explicitly talks about Dedue. It's very clear that whatever feelings they have toward each other, they're mutual, and it turns out that was what I was missing from the previous lord/retainer dynamics. All of those tended to be more one-sided on the part of the retainer, so a ship with the lord/retainer dynamic where they're equally invested (and if they aren't you could definitely make the case that it's the lord who is more invested?) Sign me up.

2) There's just so much to work with

I mean you have their supports, which are super gay don't get me wrong, but like? You also have Dedue's return at Myrrdin in AM, or their death scene in CF, or Dedue's revenge quest in VW, and all of their explore sections and dialogue where the two of them stand together quite often, and their whole untapped pre-academy history. AND THEN on top of THAT we got Three Hopes with even more Dimidue

3) It's kind of different from what I'd been doing?

I love Sylvix too, don't get me wrong, but I think part of the reason I gravitated less toward reading and writing it is because... I mean people made the joke that Sylvix was just nu!Leokumi and they aren't... entirely wrong... I mean they aren't identical or anything but the Takumi-to-Felix pipeline is pretty apparent and Leo and Sylvain are both sad boys with daddy issues.

So yeah I spent like five years writing a ton of Leokumi stuff and then Sylvix was feeling a little too similar to me. Dimidue was a completely different dynamic with completely different character archetypes and I found that really appealing, so I think I gravitated toward that a lot

4) This might be shallow but I'm over giving a fuck lmao. I like bottom!Dimitri pretty much exclusively and Dimidue was the only ship that would consistently feed me.

5) Dimidue being a smaller ship I also felt kind of protective over it? Not like I own it or anything but like. This is a precious seed that needs to be nurtured and babied into fruition. So a lot of my Dimidue stuff just comes from me wanting to fill out the archive with more quantity and variety of stuff for them, because it's kind of a bummer when you go to a ship's tag and there's only like ten fics and they're all G rated fluff (or if you wanna get spicy, E rated fluff with lots of hand holding and eye contact. I love that for Dimidue, but I also want Dimitri to choke on a cock and call someone daddy sometimes, y'know???)

I wouldn't say I set out to be a mono-shipper btw. I don't mind shipping characters with others, but I think I just naturally gravitate toward having an OTP.

[liz-thinks-too-much]

Can I be petty for a second?

So, I finished reading The Darkness Outside Us, and as I was looking for some video essays on it, I found one where someone didn't like a specific scene of the book, so here are my two cents about it.

The scene this video references is the one right after Ambrose and Kodiak have sex for the first time and they talk about top and bottom dynamics, and how they got into the ship thinking they were tops (because that's the only role they ever played), but now they're okay with the idea of being verse.

In this video the person says this scene is contraproductive, not normbreaking and fetishization. They're disappointed that both of them are tops and that Ambrose, which is the smaller, softer one, was the first one to bottom, saying that it falls into a norm. And honestly? I don't see a problem with that. The whole deal of having the freedom to express your sexuality is so that you can decide if you want to have vanilla sex or not, and if you end up falling into an unharmful stereotype, that's okay as long as it's safe and both you and your partner are okay with it.

I don't see people getting disappointed with straight romance because the woman didn't peg her partner to prove she's not lesser than him, so why are we expecting a queer author to make a statement out of queer sex? Ambrose and Kodiak entered the ship as two fuckboys who always topped, but as soon as they fall in love, have sex and open up to each other they both say that they're okay with bottoming sometimes, even Kodiak says so! You know, the super masculine guy who came from a very conservative place that would make fun of him for wanting to bottom? Yeah, even him is comfortable enough to explore new things with his boyfriend, so how can you say that this scene is not normbreaking?

And what if the softer one was exclusively a bottom and the muscular one was exclusively a top? Queer people don't need to make a revolutionary take on sex every time they fuck, existing in a queer relationship is already a political statement by itself!

I would have a problem with this scene if Kodiak or Ambrose made fun of/humiliated each other for wanting to bottom, but that never happens, they actually are very supportive and happy to discover these things together in the future.

The youtuber also say this scene is fetishization because it's only purpose it's to ease the mind of people who think they're entitled to know who is the top and bottom of the relationship, and though I agree this is disgusting behavior, I don't think this was the purpose of this scene. Through the whole book we see Ambrose talking about how horny he is for Kodiak, because he's a teenager, so it's no surprise for them to be open about their sexual history with each other after falling in love and realizing they're in danger. They use intimacy as a way to ground each other in this stressful situation.

The purpose is to show how comfortable they are to build intimacy, to communicate their needs and try to build a dynamic that works for them. It's about growth, love, and most of all, it's supposed to be funny. From Federation's stupid "donating" and "welcoming" terminology, to them turning their aftercare into a political debate about the power dynamics and heteronormativity of sex roles, to the "two tops go to space" joke, to Kodiak saying they should make a schedule so they could fuck five times a day: It was so fucking stupid and funny, and I absolutely loved it!

But honestly, that's just my personal take, so no hate to the youtuber or anyone who disagrees, you do you, babes!

[ms-all-sunday]

2, 8, and 25 for both zoro and sanji

ask game

Favorite canon thing about this character?

Zoro - I think it's the fact he's a little freak. Do you remember in skypeia when viper and raki had that interaction where eneru almost killed raki and oda had it play out in front of zoro and cut to his expression like it was aknowledging playing out his worst nightmare in the middle of when he was going to save nami? Whatever trait of his that makes that scene Zoros perfect little nightmare is my favourite. I love when he's neurotic like that.

Sanji - This is probably predictable of me to say, but how he's attracted to women (specifically in a nontraditional "simp" way. I haven't mentioned this in a while but the reason I came to terms with being bisexual was I saw Sanji be attracted to women in ways "men arent supposed to" which I struggled with a lot) and who he's attracted to. I like that he's the voice for non-traditional attraction to women in the series and I like his squishy heart.

I guess both answers could be distilled down to "I like how much Sanji and Zoro care about other people." They're both very neurotically selfless and kind despite not being able to admit that to anybody. in a way the "weaker" characters aren't.

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Zoro - make him a dom and specifically make him a hard dom. It's weird. I don't think Zoro would get off on being mean to you during sex, I think he'd get off on people being mean to him during sex. Have you seen that meme where "FANON: daddy dom" "CANON: probably autistic"? Yeah. I love gentle dom Zoro the most if you must make him a dom. I think it gets to the core of his character. (I prefer bottom/sub zoro)

Dismiss his relationships with women and act like he's totally uninterested in them (he isn't. Even if you think he's gay I've seen posts where basically him being gay is equated with him not caring about women and that... is insane.)

Sanji - I know I said this for Zoro but, dismiss his relationships with women, act like his relationships with men are literally all that matters, (especially with Sanji. Jesus.) I hate when people make rape jokes about him. I hate when people say "making Sanji queer" (either transfem or bi) "fixes" Sanji. (I think in general that joke has become a real mentality and specifically about tgirl Sanji it's impression can be very problematic).

Making him a bottom/sub for men specifically I have less of an issue than dom zoro but I think Sanji should be a dom/top in his relationships with men more often (specifically as it relates to Zoro... as I think Sanji would want that type of control with him. it just makes more sense, doesn't it?) Stop trying to make him top Usopp I think Usopp is the 1 guy he'd actually implicitly trust to sub for.

There's so much fetishization in this fandom it's almost comical how the "less fem" man will always be the top/dom. Regardless of their actual character or what they'd seemingly be comfortable with.

What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

This is so very easy I don't even have to answer individually. Sanji and Zoro both are characters built for me to be compelled by and so I loved them both when introduced to them in the anime. And I love them both now. I have a history of liking samurai with hard exteriors and soft insides, and Sanji was the character I was most attracted to initially. (They both hit very nostalgic character traits for me) Almost nothing has changed, except Nami is obviously the character i'm most attracted to now.

[ackermansimper]

↓ Masterlist ↓

• Schedule •

• rules •

♥This is my MASTERLIST of what I've wrote so far. The most recent are at the top and oldest are at the bottom ♥

Ackermans (Levi, Mikasa, Kenny)

(The Ackermans when their s/o likes to joke around a lot) -March 6 2023-

2022 ↓ (before my hiatus)

(The Ackerman's wanting attention) -April 17 2022-

(The Ackerman's love language) -April 16 2022-

(How the Ackerman's would react to their teenager walking in on you both doing it) -April 12 2022-

(The Ackermans falling in love with their enemy (enemies to lovers) -April 4 2022-

(The Ackermans on weddings) -April 3 2022-

(What the Ackermans would do if you had a nightmare) -March 22 2022-

(Blushing Ackerman images) -March 19 2022-

(How would the Ackermans react to you flirting) -March 19 2022-

(How the Ackermans sleep with you) -March 17 2022-

(If you caught the Ackermans blushing) -March 17 2022-

(The Ackermans falling in love with who they're bodyguarding) -March 12 2022-

(Having a one sided relationship with the Ackermans but they fall in love with you afterwards) -March 9 2022-

(The Ackermans wanting private time but the baby interrupting) -March 8 2022-

(How the Ackermans would be as parents) -March 8 2022-

(What the Ackermans would be like if they had a crush on you) -March 7 2022-

(How would the Ackerman's most likely meet you) -March 7 2022-

(how the Ackermans would be if they were jealous) -March 6 2022-

(How the Ackermans would cuddle) -March 6 2022-

(How would the Ackerman's be like falling in love with their best friend (you) -March 6 2022-

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Levi (only)

Headcanons

(Levi's reaction to having a secret admirer) -March 26 2023-

(Levi in an arranged marriage) -March 22 2023-

(Levi's reaction to a mature squad leader having the most obvious crush on him) -March 16 2023-

(How Levi would act after a break up) -March 15 2023-

(Levi with a cadet completely devoted to him) -March 13 2023-

(Levi with a bold and strong crush) -March 12 2023-

(Levi with a taller s/o) -March 11 2023-

(Levi with a shorter s/o) -March 7 2023-

Fics

(Secret revealed) -March 8 2023-

-Summary: Y/n and Levi get in a relationship but decide to keep it a secret. Y/n is commonly hit on by male soldiers and although the vets expect Levi to out them both on their relationship, it's Y/n instead-

Drabbles

(Levi forgiving his enemy after a hurtful insult) -June 8 2023-

(Levi and reader teasing each other) -April 12 2023-

(Levi saying 'I love you' to his s/o for the first time) -April 10 2023-

(A flustered Levi attempting to thank his crush) -April 9 2023-

Song inspired fics/drabbles

(Line without a hook) -June 6 2023-

-Summary: Levi doesn't think he's worthy of your love and is full of insecurities about the thought of being able to have you at his side. Despite that, he takes the opportunity to be selfish and let himself indulge in love for the first time.

(Super psycho love) -June 4 2023-

-Summary: You and Levi have a relationship exclusive to sleeping together and no strings attached. You though, very much have feelings for him and are confused as to if he feels anything other than what you initially agreed on.

(If the world was ending) -June 3 2023-

-Summary: With the new expedition coming up and you and Levi recently been broken up, all you two can think about is each other and if this latest expedition will be the end of the world, the end of you, or the end of him.

(Chamber of reflection) -June 1 2023-

-Summary: You've just broken up with Levi and he's left with an alone feeling he can't get rid of.

(It's you) -May 30 2023-

-Summary: You're the only person Levi could ever imagine loving and being loved by. He's been broken many times before but he puts his trust in you anyway to not leave him and stick by his side

(Pain) -May 28 2023-

-Summary: You're numb until you meet Levi and suddenly want to feel the pain of Levi's threats and the pain of loving him.

(Back to you) -May 27 2023-

-Summary: Yours and Levi's relationship is toxic yet neither of you can leave.

(Feel Better) -May 25 2023-

-Summary: Levi doesn't wanna feel better after the way he rejected you. He can't bring himself to let himself be after the tears that were shed from your eyes because of him

(I wanna be yours) -May 23 2023-

-Summary: All you wanna do is be Levi's and prove your loyalty and devotion towards him. you want him to have you through it all and know you'll always stick around. You wanna be his and want him to be yours.

(I hate everything about you) -May 21 2023-

-Summary: Your rivalry is interrupted after you kiss Levi after a drink too much. Now you're left to think about your feelings for the man and stress over the possibly ruined friendship.

(I hate you, I love you) -May 20 2023-

-Summary: You hate Levi but you also love him. You wanna get over the relationship you and Levi used to have yet can't put anyone above Levi like how it seems he already has with you.

(Eyes blue like the Atlantic) -May 18 2023-

-Summary: Something about Levi's greyish-blue eyes lures you into noticing other wholesome facts about the stoic stone-faced captain

(Water Fountain) -May 14 2023-

-Summary: Levi and Y/n are broken up and moving on

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Kenny (only)

Headcanons

(Kenny with someone completely devoted to him) -March 20 2023-

(Kenny's reaction to his s/o falling asleep on his shoulder) -March 9 2023-

Other

(Kenny x Hange headcanons) -March 23 2023-

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Mikasa (only)

Headcanons

Drabbles

Song inspired fics/drabbles

(It Will Rain) -May 16 2023-

-summary: Without Mikasa, your days would be filled with nothingness. Maybe a bit of rain but definitely the sorrowful and sad kind.

[screechesincoherently]

The Cop Out- Sam Kiszka

Part 6 - Lilies

Masterlist

Synopsis: Sam & Y/n truly begin their night at the country club, and search for the perfect Secret Santa gifts

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 2,792

In Collaboration With: @capturethechaos

“We have been here for twenty minutes, and I already want to leave.” Y/n said, resting her head on Sam’s shoulder at the dining room table.

“Y/n, all we’ve done is talk to your mom and walk to the country club.” Sam said, looking down at her.

“Yeah, and now I’m ready to go home.”

“It’s not even that bad Giggles. They're fine right now.” He said, resting his hand on her knee.

“Exactly. Right now. Wait until they’re absolutely smashed and my siblings and mom start harassing us.”

“Can’t wait.” Sam looked around the room, catching Landon’s lingering gaze at him Y/n.

He flashed Landon a smile, sliding his hand up her thigh and giving it a squeeze. Landon rolled his eyes, walking away as Sam looked back down at Y/n with a smug look.

“Why does your face look like that?”

“Because I don’t think Landon likes me.”

“And why would that be Samuel?”

“Hmm. I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause I get to do this--” He said, leaning down and pressing a kiss on her neck. The action caused electricity to shoot throughout Y/n’s body, goosebumps appearing on her thankfully covered arms.

Sam straightened up, eyes scanning over Y/n’s rapidly blushing cheeks.

“Did I get you all flustered baby?” He whispered in her ear.

“No, there was a draft.”

“Why did your thighs clench on my hand then hmm?”

“Because I got cold Samuel.” She said, mentally cursing out her reaction to Sam’s touch.

“Don’t tell Landon that-- I’ll tell ya Y/n, if looks could kill, I think I’d be dead by now.”

Y/n’s eyes flickered up, quickly locating Landon at a table across the dining hall from them, playing cribbage with his cousin. His jaw was clenched so tight, it looked like he was about to break a tooth.

“--And if this is how you get when you’re cold, I think Landon might try to cool you off himself.”

“Knock it off Dipshit.”

“But why would I do that, when I could tease the shit out of my beautiful girlfriend.”

“Maybe because you’ll be reduced from my annoying ass boyfriend to an acquaintance real fast.”

“Okay-- I’ll stop.” Sam said, going to pull his hand away from her thigh, but quickly being stopped by Y/n’s hand pulling it back.

“I never said you had to stop touching me, I just don’t need you chewing on my neck in front of my entire family.” She said, placing his hand back on her thigh and laying hers on top of his.

“Still cold, are we?” He asked, leaning in so that his breath fanned over her ear.

“Sam--”

“Right, sorry.” He said, looking down at their hands.

She slyly lifted her gaze, looking over at Landon, who looked more confused than anything.

“Sam--”

He hummed in response, tapping his fingers on her thigh as if he were playing a piano.

“Do you wanna piss off Landon?”

“Always.”

She lifted her hand from its place over his, running it over his jaw and moving his face to be level with hers. She moved closer, watching his eyes dart between her eyes and her lips. Their lips brushed against each other.

“Did you know that if a female ferret doesn’t have sex for a year, she will die?”

Y/n burst out laughing, throwing her head back. Sam smiled, watching her light up at the joke.

“Y/n.” He said, trying to bring her attention back to him.

She looked down, a smile still spread across her face. Sam lifted his hand to her face, squeezing her cheeks together, bringing her lips to a pout and leaning in to press his lips to hers. When they met in the middle, Y/n moved her hands to meet his both on her face and on her thigh.

The hand on her thigh squeezed gently, his thumb running back and forth along the inner seam of her jeans.

“There are children around.” She said, her lips still pressed against Sams.

“We can stop if you’d like.” She responded by moving further into him, deepening the kiss for a moment before pulling away, his bottom lip caught between her teeth as she pulled away.

They sat for a moment, simply looking at each other and catching their breath.

“I was just making sure Landon got the message.” Y/n said.

“Mhm-- sure.” Sam said, leaning back into the couch, a smug look painted on his face.

“He was looking over. I don’t think he was convinced.”

“If I tell you he still doesn’t look convinced, can we pick up where we left off?”

“Haha, funny Sam.”

“Okay you guys! Time for Secret Santa.” Landon’s mom said.

“For those of us who are new–” Y/n’s mom said looking in Sam’s direction, “We are going to have everyone’s name written on a piece of paper in a bucket, we’ll go around and draw, and you will have two hours to get a gift put together.”

The bucket made its way around the table, getting picked out of from both Landon’s and Y/n’s families. Eventually, it landed in front of Sam, he grabbed a slip of paper out, and slid the container to Y/n.

She opened up her slip holding it close to her, and saw that she got Sam.

“Who’d you get?” Sam asked, leaning over trying to peek at her paper.

“Why would I tell you? It’s secret Santa.”

“Did you get me?”

“No Sam, I did not get you.”

“Are you sure-- cause if you did I can tell you what I want for my present.” He said, voice dropping to just above a whisper as he leaned over to her.

“And what would that be?” She asked, looking up at him.

“It’s not relevant to you as long as you’re not my secret Santa.”

“Not even as a hypothetical?”

“Nope.”

“Fine, don’t tell me then.” She said, dramatically turning her head away from him.

“It’s alright, I know who you got anyways.”

“Oh? And who do you think I got?”

“Your boyfriend.”

“I already told you I didn’t get you Sam.”

“Aw, cute. But I meant your boyfriend Landon.”

“Oh, and what would you suggest I get him?”

“Maybe a date.”

The snort that came from her had people throughout the room looking over to see what was so funny.

“What’s so funny, Y/n?” Landon asked, making her laugh even harder.

“Your face.” Sam said under his breath so only Y/n could hear, causing her to keel over with laughter, tears pricking at her eyes already.

“Goddamnit Sam!” Y/n said through broken bits of laughter, struggling to breathe properly.

“Y/n! Watch your language! There are children around!” Her mother said sternly.

Sam wrapped an arm around her waist as she caught her breath.

“Alright everybody, you’ve got two hours on the clock--”

“Get ready.”

“Go!” Mrs. Young shouted, and everyone scattered.

Y/n began to walk in the direction of the gift shop, feeling Sam’s presence behind her as she walked.

“You know, it’s kind of creepy to be following me around.” She said, continuing forward.

“Alright, I need your help.”

“With what? Did you forget your wallet?”

“No, I’m not worried about that, I’ve got my phone.”

“What do you need help with then?”

“I got your mom for secret Santa, and I have no clue what to get her.”

“There is a huge part of me that just wants to see what you can come up with on your own. But at the same time the thought of that terrifies me.”

“Please Y/n? I have never talked to your mom before today. I don’t know what she likes and doesn’t like.”

“Then keep it simple. You don’t have to go overboard. It’s just my mom.”

“Exactly, it’s your mom. I wanna make a good impression.”

“Okay-- okay, jeez. For one, it’s not like you have to propose to her or anything. Second, like I said, just keep it simple. Her favorite flowers are lilies, and I know the gift shop usually carries them.”

“Where is the gift shop?”

She simply held out her hand for him to take. He laced his fingers with hers, and she led the way to the gift shop.

“Oh, I definitely could have found this place on my own I guess.”

“Yes, you could have, but I needed to come here anyway so it’s okay. Do you remember what flowers I said mom likes?”

“Uh– yes.”

“And they are…?”

“Lilies?”

“Good job. Alright, meet up at the front in fifteen?”

“Yeah. Have fun finding Landon’s present.”

“Oh I will.” She said, acting disappointed as she walked away from him.

She walked to the small clothing section of the gift shop, knowing immediately what she would be getting for Sam.

Sam went the opposite way, walking towards the counter to ask about where he could find flowers.

“Hi, how can I help you?” The man behind the counter asked Sam.

“Hi– uh could you by chance show me where I would find bouquets of flowers?”

“Sure thing!” The man said, walking out from behind the counter, Sam followed close behind watching his feet.

“Buying them for someone special? If you are, I hate to break it to you, but the carnations are all sold out so I hope you weren’t looking for those.”

“Not particularly, no. I have to buy a gift for secret Santa.” Sam said, eventually looking up as the man came to a halt. He glanced at all of the flowers in front of him before peeking up over the display to catch a glimpse of Y/n making her way through the clothing racks.

Timing couldn’t have been any more perfect as Y/n lifted her gaze to meet Sam’s eyes. The two shared a soft smile before she turned back to her task.

“Are you sure the flowers aren’t for someone special?” The employee asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Thank you.” Sam said to him while picking up a smaller bouquet of lilies.

The employee walked away, and Sam caught himself looking over the flowers again to find Y/n examining the clothes on show in front of her. Without hesitation, he picked up another bouquet of azaleas.

Y/n searched through the racks, looking for something that would really scream Sam. She looked up from the rack, catching his gaze from the other side of the shop, a small smile forming on his face. He raised the bouquet of lilies for her to see, and she gave him two thumbs up. When her hands landed back on the clothing beneath her, she saw it, a green Patagonia pullover with very eighties patterns all over it. She checked for his size and pulled it off of the rack, folding it over her arm and walking towards the register.

Then they caught her eye…

A pair of socks with sasquatches all over them…

She grabbed a pair before she had even realized she was walking towards them, then dropped the items on the counter.

“Would it be possible to get these wrapped as well?” She asked, watching the employee behind the counter fold up the sweater and socks.

“Yeah of course.” He replied, wrapping up the items and tucking them in a box.

She paid for the items and took the box, walking to the front of the store, where Sam was standing scrolling through his phone.

“See Sammy, easy peasy.” She said, bumping his shoulder when she reached him.

“Wait, where did you get the wrapping paper?” He asked, eyeing the nicely wrapped box tucked beneath her arm.

“I asked the clerk to wrap it for me.” She answered, nodding her head towards the clerk standing behind the counter.

“I didn’t know they did that!”

“Yeah! All you have to do is ask.”

“Do they wrap flowers better than just shoving them in plastic bags?” He looked down at the bouquets, disappointed with the plain plastic wrapping.

“We can ask if you’d like.”

“I can go ask. I’m a big boy.”

“I know you are Sammy.” She said, patting the top of his head.

“Stay here.” Sam said as he turned back to return to the counter, trying his hardest to hide the fact that he had two bouquets instead of one.

“Yes sir.” Y/n saluting him although he couldn’t see her do it.

As Y/n waited for Sam to return, she pulled out her phone to find that she had a text message from Karen.

Momma K: How’s it going so far sweetie?

Y/n: It’s going good. We just went to go buy our secret Santa presents. I got your son. Lucky me haha

Momma K: How cute! What’d you get him?

Y/n: I got him a patterned sweater and a pair of socks.

Momma K: You do know the socks are going to be virtually useless, right?

Y/n: Yeah I know… but they have sasquatches on them, so I figured I just had to get them.

Momma K: I see. Did Sam tell you who he got? I know he’s not the best at keeping things secret. That’s why we never do secret Santa.

Y/n: He got my mom…

Y/n: But it's alright, I instructed him to get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, so he’s all set.

Momma K: That’s good. We can always count on you to steer him in the right direction.

Y/n: Thank you Karen. We have to go now, but I’ll keep you updated on whether he survives the dinner or not.

Sam walked out of the shop, presumably with the lilies wrapped up, but she couldn’t be sure since he had them put in a bigger bag to hold them in.

“Alright, we’ve got some time to kill before we have to be back. Is there anything you wanna do?” She asked as they walked away from the small store.

“Maybe we could just wander for a bit, you can show me around.”

The two made their way around the country club, Y/n showing him all of her favorite spots to escape from her family and the company they keep. At some point their hands brushed against each other’s, and unlike the other times they’ve held hands in the past, the electricity that shot up Y/n’s arm sent her brain into a bit of a fog. She felt him slip his fingers between hers, the warmth of his hand travelling through her hand like a wildfire.

“Hey Sammy, have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?” She would have said the L word, but she felt like it would have brought some sort of unnerving wave of emotions over her that she wasn’t quite ready to deal with yet.

“Every once in a while. Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?”

“All the time Sammy.”

The two sat in the lounge for a bit, enjoying the quiet music that was being played from the dining room.

“How long until we have to be back?” He asked, not caring to look at his own phone.

“Ummm--” She looked down at her watch, then back up to him, “about half an hour.”

“Sick, I’m going to run back to the cabin super quick, would you mind grabbing us a snack from the cafe?” He asked, standing from his seat and picking up the bag with the flowers.

“Sure, what do you want?”

“Anything you wanna grab for me will be fine.”

“Alright, do you want me to hold the flowers for you, rather than running back and forth with them?” She asked, looking at the bag hanging from his hand.

“Nah it's alright, you’ve got enough with the box, and our snacks.”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

Sam raced back to the cabin, being careful to not slip on any ice patches. It took him about ten minutes to get back, walking through the door and making a b-line for the bedroom he would be sharing with Y/n. He pulled the azaleas from the bag, laying them nicely on top of the dresser beside her overnight bag.

Sam quickly snatched a scrap piece of paper from his bag, and scribbled a quick note to place next to Y/n’s surprise.

I’d do anything for you, Giggles. I wouldn’t want to be “dating” anyone else.

Love,

Dipshit :)

He began to leave the cabin, turning to take one last look at the flowers on the dresser before closing the door. He made the journey back to the country club with an overwhelming feeling of both nervous and content energy.

Taglist:

@gretavanwinkle @gvfrry @theweightofstardust @jessssssi @alwayssotiredbutneverofyou @chalametpwk @cowboysamkiszka @katie-gvf @sammykiszkasunusedshoes @thehippieelement @welightthefire @h-e-l-l-o-s @lucidliving1205 @kaylal15 @miidnightcarlights @gretavanfleetwoodmacncheese @gretavanhoney

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

RESISTERE TENTATIONEM: CAPITULUM I

HELLION: A rowdy or mischievous person

Pairings: Damian Priest x Reader

Warnings: +18 explicit content

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tag: @ziasaph , @theworldofotps , @alyhull , @bellalutionn , @aerynscrichton , @serpantscorpio8497 , @omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts , @squirreledelman , @lovinglerae , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @waywardwrestlewritingwaif , @sassymox

Notes: I’m so into this series that I even made moodboards 🤣 Don’t @ me 😂 I want to give a HUGE a thank you (and shout out) to @letsgivethisonemoreshot for helping me out with this entire trilogy! Thank you for your ideas and feedbacks, love ❤️ If you’d like to check out my previous works, you can find them on my Masterlist 😘

“Miss Y/L/N” He greeted me “Sit down”

Father Damian was the school’s principal, and in the three short months since I transferred to this school, let’s just say I’ve spent a lot of time in a chair in his office

“Yes?” I faked a smile as I stared at him from the chair I was sitting on

“Can you explain to me what this is?” He showed me a piece of paper written ‘Satan rules! And fuck you, Principal Damian’ “And why was this taped to my car window?”

“I have no idea where that came from” I shrugged

“Miss Y/L/N, are we really gonna go down that path?” He pinched the bridge of his nose

“Why do you think that was me?” I pretended to be offended

“Because you’re the only student who has pulled stunts like this before”

“Maybe it was one of your perfect little students” I stood up and made my way towards his wooden desk and sat on top of it “You know, the ones who wear the pearl necklaces to show their purity” I laughed

“Miss Y/L/N, please refrain yourself from talking ill of the other students and return to your seat”

“Why? Because they’re pure, perfect and collected?” I slid across the desk and placed myself in front of him “Because they’re God’s children and I’m Satan’s spawn?”

“Miss Y/L/N” He warned

“Yes, Father?” I batted my lashes at him

“Ever since you stepped foot inside this school, you have done nothing but speak profanities, break the school’s dress code and make the lives of everyone in here a living Hell!”

“When have I spoken profanities?” I gasped, acting as if I was shocked

“You asked your classmate if you could caress her…. pussy!” He said through gritted teeth and I held back a chuckle

“And what’s wrong with that? She got a cat and I wanted to know if I could pet her”

“You asked another colleague if you could taste her melons!”

“She brought some with her for a snack and I love melons! Don’t you love them too, father?” I smirked

“What about the ‘BJ practice at 4pm behind the bleachers in gym’ sign you were caught hanging on the wall?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest

“What? BJ: Bible Jam, where we go over some hymns and try to set up a choir, since you don’t have one here”

“Is the choir for you ‘demonic pagan chants’ you love to recite in Latin to the other students?”

I just shrugged in response

He sighed “You’re turning nineteen years old next month, Miss Y/L/N! You’re an adult, so behave as such! The entire reason you were transferred here in the first place was because of your horrid habit of skipping classes, which caused you to repeat last year! How long do you plan on continuing that behaviour? Until you turn twenty years old, perhaps? My point is, how difficult is it to follow the rules? You can’t even follow a simple dress code, Miss Y/L/N!”

“That’s absurd!” I said with a huff “I follow the dress code impeccably!”

“By wearing revealing undergarments?”

“How do you know they're revealing if you're not looking, Father?” I smiled

“It’s a bit difficult to not see a red bra underneath a white shirt, Miss Y/L/N”

“So you do like melons then?” I laughed “Oh Father, is the Devil tempting you with the pleasures of the flesh?” I grinned evilly as I leaned towards him, revealing some of my cleavage

“You know perfectly well to not joke with unholy names, Miss Y/L/N” He gulped

“I love to swirl my tongue around the D word, Father” I whispered “Would you like me to show you how well it fits my mouth?”

“Miss Y/L/N, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into”

“I’m talking about the Devil, Father Damian” I cackled “But I see you have another D on your mind”

“You shouldn’t mock the Devil, Miss Y/L/N. It’s not wise” He whispered, placing both of his hands on my sides and trapping me on the desk

“I’m not mocking, Father. I think he’s quite fun actually...don’t you?” I tilted my head to the side

“All that is forbidden is fun, Miss Y/L/N” His fingers brushed against my exposed thighs “It’s delightful to commit sinful actions”

I was caught off guard by his behavior, I never expected him to actually respond to my flirting

“What’s the matter, Y/N?” He chuckled “Devil got your tongue?”

“Maybe” He placed one hand underneath the hem of my skirt and stroked my inner thigh “He told you that I saw your red lace thong when you bent down to tie your shoes in the hallway this morning”

I gasped in shock and he continued

“The Devil knows our weaknesses so well, doesn’t he, Y/N? He knows that my weakness is a devilish little slut like you, and he knows that your weakness is a holy cock” He laughed

“Father Damian” I gasped

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Wouldn’t you like to commit a sin with me? A delicious, rough, sweaty and lustful sin?” He leaned forward until he was uncomfortably close to me

“Maybe I can turn you into a good little lamb once my cock is buried deep inside your pussy” He nibbled my bottom lip “Would you like me to fuck the filthy whore out of you?”

“Father...I-“

“What is it, Y/N? Not so brave anymore, are we?” He chuckled “I thought you liked teasing, isn’t that what you’ve been doing with me for the past three months? Teasing me non stop with your bratty attitude and smart mouth? Do you think I’m dumb? That I don’t see your true intentions?”

“I-“

“No no no” He placed two fingers on my lips and whispered “Don’t speak” Father Damian turned around and grabbed a Bible from his bookshelf

“Do you know what the punishment is for the lustful people in Hell, Y/N?” He turned around and looked at me in the eyes while placing the Bible on top of his table

I nodded in response

“Enlighten me, then” He grinned

“Those who commit the sin of lust will be punished in Hell by being smothered in fire and brimstone, Father”

“Good girl” He smiled “I see you paid attention to your biblical studies class” He said in a mocking tone

“Don’t you think that sounds so appealing?” He asked, tilting his head to the side and reaching for the Bible

“No, I don’t” I whispered

“Yes, it is. Want me to show you how appealing it can be?” He smirked, opening the Bible

To my surprise it was a hollowed out Bible, inside of it there was a slim vibrator and a bottle of lube

“Why do you have-“

“Yes or no, Y/N?”

“Yes” It slipped out of my mouth so easily

He smirked and reached his hands underneath my skirt, soon after the sound of cloth being torn apart filled up the room. Father Damian kept his gaze locked with mine as he brought my ripped thong to his lips, his tongue darting out and licking the piece of fabric

“Sinners always taste so sweet, don’t they?” He chuckled

Grabbing the lube, he squirted some on his fingers and spread it through my folds, the cold feeling was soon replaced by a warm feeling I never felt before. He added some more lube to his digit and slid his finger in me

“Oh my God” I moaned at the warmth that filled me

He reached for the vibrator and turned it on, sliding the cold toy against my warm bundle of nerves

“Fuck” I shuddered at the pleasurable feeling

“Repeat the punishment for me, Y/N” He smirked

“Being smothered” I started and his free hand wrapped around my throat

“And?” He grinned evilly

“Fire” I whispered, as he squirted more lube directly onto my folds this time

“So much fire” He smirked, replacing his finger with the toy at the same time his grip around my neck closed

I moaned softly as all of the different sensations hit me

“Oh there she is!” He laughed “The sinful little whore” And sucked on my bottom lip “You love to come out and play, don’t you my sweet harlot?”

I just nodded softly

“I’ll give you something even nicer for you to play with, how does that sound to you?”

“Anything, just please” I pleaded

He smiled widely, like a predator. In my foggy haze of pleasure I hadn’t even realized what he meant by that

“Father, please” I moaned

He smiled at my pleading “Oh my dear Y/N, isn't it a real joy to be a sinner?”

[tsumusamu]

nice receive [miya atsumu x fem!reader]

genre: fluff and (once again, a sad attempt at) humor

word count: 3.8k

summary: eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don't go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it's easy to see why.

warnings: uhhh implied sexual content at the end but it is like barely there ok

commission for @ muppetz (it wont let me tag for some reason ugh) thank you so much for commissioning me!

a/n: this ended up being way longer than the word count requested but that’s no one’s fault but my own because i dont know when to shut the FUCK up anyways i hope this one shot is enjoyable lol

content under the cut!

You literally never thought that you would ever end up in this situation.

"C'mon babe, why the long face? Ya nervous or somethin'?"

"No." You purse your lips, huffily averting your gaze from your boyfriend's smirking face.

"Ya don't needa be like that." Atsumu drapes an arm across your shoulder, pecking your forehead as a sort of reassurance. "No one could ever hate this cute face, after all." He accentuates his words by squishing your cheeks, drawing out a yelp of protest from you.

"If you keep talking like this, you're gonna jinx it, you know." Your words come out softer and more hesitant than intended, and you startled even yourself at how utterly anxious you sound.

"Yer gonna be fine. Trust me, I wouldn’t take just any random girl to meet my folks, and they’re well aware of that." Atsumu ruffles your hair.

"I just... I hope they're not..." You pause for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...Disappointed?" You grimace when your boyfriend suddenly throws his head back in such voracious laughter, that you swear you saw a few hysterical tears.

"Are ya jokin'?" he all but wheezes. "Yer the libero for the national volleyball team, for God's sake. If anythin', I'd be the disappointment here."

"'Tsumu — " you start, but he interrupts you by pulling you in for a comforting hug.

"Don't worry yer pretty head anymore, got it?" he murmurs into your ear. "Yer wonderful, and I couldn't be luckier to have ya. My parents are gonna love ya. Honest."

A small smile tugs at your lips as you reach around his back to hug him back. "I hope so."

A year ago, if someone had told you that you would end up having Miya Atsumu introduce you to his family as his girlfriend, you would've laughed until your ass fell off and your stomach ached like no tomorrow.

You had been absolutely overjoyed when you were chosen for the women's national volleyball team, and you were so eager to start playing with your new teammates that you had decided to attend the national team's training camp without hesitation despite your recent knee injury at the time. However, you completely overlooked the fact that you would be working with the men's team as well, which would've been completely fine... if not for Miya Atsumu.

When you first met Atsumu, he was the cocky, annoying little shit of a setter for the Japanese men's national volleyball team, someone who you were stuck training with for the next two weeks.

You still remember the first words he ever spoke to you.

"The hell are ya doin' there, lil libero? If yer not gonna be able to save the easiest ones, then ya might as well sub out."

You also remember the first thought you had about him.

'Prick.'

And the first words you spoke to him.

"Can't you look at this — " You had gestured angrily to the knee brace supporting you. "And take a fucking hint, or what?"

He had sent some unapologetic, biting words right back at you and that marked the beginning of the time you have had the utmost pleasure of knowing Miya Atsumu. The two of you had bickered rather relentlessly (not too unlike literal children, despite the both of you being well into your twenties) throughout the rest of the camp, and by the end, for some unknown reason through some unknown method, he ended up with your number.

He started texting you constantly, and as much as you tried to convince your foolish self that he was just a nuisance, you found yourself responding to his messages like an idiot anyway. Throughout the next few months, you learned that Atsumu was far more than just his overly confident demeanor; he's genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, and actually kinda hilarious. And eventually — neither of you quite knew how — the two of you were staring across a table at each other in a fancy restaurant as if daring the other to blink and lose an unspoken game, on a first date that neither of you thought would go as well as it did.

A little over eight months into your happy and committed relationship, Atsumu suggested that the two of you go to his hometown in Hyogo for a weekend to visit his family. You had immediately agreed with his idea, excited to meet his parents and twin brother in person, but now that he's leading you out of your shared hotel room to go do just that, your stomach's knotting uncomfortably.

Atsumu's been nothing but supportive and comforting ever since you started showing that you're nervous to meet his family. He was always happy to provide a never-ending flow of cheesy words and warm hugs, but you're genuinely afraid of embarrassing yourself. You want to impress his family and not have them see you as undeserving of their son, who you truly care for from the bottom of your heart. Atsumu is your first long-term boyfriend, and you would jump off your roof if you managed to mess anything up during the visit to his folks.

The taxi ride to Atsumu's childhood home doesn't do much to soothe your nerves either, with you fiddling with your fingers the entire way through while Atsumu makes small talk with the driver. As the cab pulls up to the address that your boyfriend had provided earlier, you instinctively clench your fists so hard that you think you might bleed.

A look of alarm crosses Atsumu's face as he notices that you're still just as anxious as you were when you left the hotel earlier. He thought that the ride to his parents' house would give you some time to cool down, but that had clearly not been the case. His eyebrows furrow in concern as he reaches over to grab one of your hands in his, giving you a comforting squeeze.

"Just breathe, darlin'." He runs his thumb over the shallow nail marks embedded in your skin. "If it means anything to ya, my mom's a huge fan of yers. For real. I didn't tell ya this before, but she's especially excited to meet ya. Keeps yappin' to me askin' how I pulled ya." You flush.

"R-Really?" you stammer, wide-eyed.

"Really. Who wouldn't be a fan yers?" Atsumu grins, pecking your nose. "See, ya got nothin' to be worried about. Just chill out and be yerself, 'kay?" You nod, some of the tension releasing from your shoulders as Atsumu leads you out of the cab, hand still clutching yours.

You're feeling a little better now, though your thoughts are still running through your head at the pace of a mile a minute as you watch Atsumu pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. Atsumu's mother is my fan? Your ears start to heat up. I hope I can somehow live up to her expectations of me…

“Ma! We’re here!” Atsumu shouts at the top of lungs approximately one second after simultaneously ringing the doorbell and obnoxiously pounding on the door.

“Comin’, comin’, ya brat!” A feminine, yet strong voice hollers in return. You freeze on the spot, your mind going blank once again. It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

The door aggressively swings open, revealing a middle-aged woman wearing a pink apron and carrying a wooden spatula in her hand. Her dark hair is pulled into a bun away from her face and her eyes, the same chocolate brown as Atsumu’s, are gleaming with annoyance. She briefly glares at Atsumu for his rowdy entrance before her gaze catches onto you, and her entire face lights up with excitement.

“(L/N) (Y/N)! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“M-Mrs. Miya,” you stammer out, trying your best to smile but you’re sure it looked more like a wince. “It’s good to m-meet you t-too.”

"Aw, hey now. What happened to my feisty girl? It's not like ya to be so lame.” Atsumu lays his forearm on your head, effectively using you as an armrest. You jerk away, scowling.

“Shut the hell up, asshat,” you snap without thinking. About half a second later, regret slams into your body like a truck. Oh, shit. I just called my boyfriend an asshat in front of his mother. You were about to run off into the streets in utter embarrassment if not for Mrs. Miya letting out a hearty laugh way too similar to her son’s and linking arms with you.

“No need to look so scared, dear. I don’t bite. And it’s good to see that yer willin’ to put this brat in his place.”

“Ma!” Atsumu whines, pouting petulantly.

“Yer really losin’ out with him though, y’know,” Mrs. Miya whispers to you as she leads you into the house by your arm. “I’ve got another son; Atsumu’s twin. Osamu’s quite well-behaved. If yer just likin’ the looks, he would be the better option.” You can tell she’s joking by the merry twinkle in her eyes, but instead of humoring her you end up shaking your head with a quiet chuckle.

“I think Atsumu’s perfectly good for me.” The two of you pause to watch Atsumu practically sprint into the kitchen, and a few moments later there’s an agitated yell as proof that he was on his way to annoy his brother. You smile. “He makes me really happy, Mrs. Miya. You raised him well.”

“Aren’t ya just the sweetest thing?” Mrs. Miya coos at you, pinching your left cheek. “And so pretty too. I swear ya could probably clobber my brat at volleyball as well. You and yer teammate… ah, Miss Amanai? The two of you always caught my eye while I watched yer matches. Make sure ya let her know.”

You blush a little and thank her, making a mental note to tell Kanoka that. She’d probably find it extremely amusing, especially since she was the one who had given Atsumu your number in the first place (which, as you had found out months later, was because he had practically groveled at her feet multiple times. Dumbass.)

“Come meet my husband, (Y/N).” Mrs. Miya leads you into the living room, where an older, balding man with rimmed glasses is quietly flipping through a book. He gives a start upon hearing your entrance, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

“Ah, hello!” Mr. Miya greets you. “I’ve heard a lot about you! From both Atsumu and the missus.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Miya.” You nod once in a respectful manner.

“It’s about time that he settled down with a nice girl. Make sure ya keep him in line though, got it, missy?”

“Of course I w — “ you start, but Mrs. Miya is already dragging you towards the kitchen. You smile apologetically at Mr. Miya, and he just laughs and waves.

“Osamu’s makin’ dinner right now. He is such a hardworkin’ and dedicated boy. Both of them are, really,” she rambles. “But Osamu sure can cook a mean meal. He and his twin always used to fight over who’s the better cook. But I betcha Atsumu hasn’t touched the stove since he left for university years ago.”

You debate telling her that Atsumu had made quite a decent meal for the two of you just last week to celebrate your eight-month anniversary (which you hadn’t even known he remembered), but before you can formulate the right words in your head you’re suddenly shoved in the path of an unfamiliar man. Well, not really unfamiliar. He has the same face as the boyfriend who you see every day, after all.

Miya Osamu is (as expected) the literal carbon copy of Atsumu; same strong eyebrows, same hooded eyes, same angular jawline. The only thing that easily sets them apart is his black, ruffled mess of hair in stark contrast with your boyfriend’s bleached blonde.

Mrs. Miya pulls Atsumu away from the two of you, demanding that he help her with some mundane task, leaving you and Osamu by yourselves in the kitchen.

An easy smile graces his lips as he sticks out his hand. “Hey, I’m Osamu. Honored to finally meet the famous (L/N) (Y/N).” You smile back, gripping his hand firmly and shaking.

“And I’m honored to meet the famous ‘Samu.” At your words, Osamu bursts out laughing.

“Man, I don’t really let a lot of people call me that, y’know? But if yer gonna be part of the family, you could be an exception.”

“F-Family?” You pause, your sudden confidence dissipating as fast as it had come.

“Naw, no pressure. Just sayin’.” Osamu casually continues with his task of shaping onigiri. “I can tell he really likes ya.” You raise your eyebrows in curiosity without entirely meaning to. “I mean, we’re twins, it’s like a sixth sense. And also he never shuts up about ya when we text or call.”

“I hope you’re hearing all good things?” you quip jokingly.

“Oh, for sure. If I didn’t know who you were I’d think that he’s talkin’ about the reincarnation of a goddess with the way he talks.”

“Seriously?” You snort, and Osamu just laughs.

“So I’d like to ask ya the favor of continuin’ to take care of him. Guy’s just a huge ass baby. I can obviously see that yer good for him, though. He wouldn’t have stayed for so long if he wasn’t serious.”

The two of you briefly glance at Atsumu helping his mother set the table. They’re currently debating over whether Atsumu should go back to his natural hair color and “Stop makin’ yer hair look like fuckin’ straw!”

“He is a huge ass baby,” you start seriously, causing Osamu to smirk. “But he’s an honest and good person, so I’m not too bothered. I’ll take care of him, promise.”

“Thanks.” Osamu sighs, glancing rather fondly in his brother’s direction. “He’s an asshole, but at least he’s a redeemable asshole. I’m glad he’s finally got someone around to take care of him. Makes us all feel a little more relieved since he’s away from home.”

You suddenly feel warm inside.

Atsumu had been right; you truly didn’t have anything to be afraid of. The Miyas have been nothing but kind and welcoming so far, and they even seem to already have a positive opinion of you.

“Can ya help me carry these to the table?” Osamu holds out a plate of freshly-made onigiri.

“Ah, sure!” you accept hurriedly, taking the plate from him with careful hands. You take slow, calculated steps towards the dining room; the last thing you want is to accidentally drop any of the food.

Atsumu and his parents are already waiting in the dining room, and they all look up at you expectantly as you approach them with the onigiri plate in hand.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Mrs. Miya chirps. “Helpin’ Osamu out! How sweet of ya — “

She’s cut off as disaster strikes.

You trip on your last step to the table, causing a single onigiri to tumble off the plate and towards the floor. Your mouth drops open wide as you practically slam the plate down on the table and in practical slow-motion, watch the onigiri plummet down, down, down —

Then you dive.

You dive towards the floor, in the same manner as you do when you’re digging for a volleyball.

And you catch the rice ball in one hand, laying flat on your stomach. You have a moment of mental celebration; yes, you caught the onigiri! Then you realize that you look like a fucking idiot as you lay face down with one hand extended and clutching a rice ball like it’s your lifeline.

There’s a few seconds of agonizing silence.

You want the earth to swallow you whole.

There’s no way that you could ever show your face in front of Atsumu’s family or even Atsumu himself now; God you’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, and over an onigiri too —

“Nice receive!” Atsumu suddenly bellows, clapping his hands boisterously. “(L/N) does it again!”

His brother, who’s standing a few feet behind you with a platter of chicken skewers, pumps his free fist into the air and joins in with a “Hell yeah!”

Mr. Miya starts laughing the same loud Miya laugh that you’ve heard way too many times today, and his sons soon follow suit. Shame is still flooding your body, but now you’re realizing just how ridiculous the whole situation is and you resist the urge to smile at your own stupidity. As soon as Mrs. Miya recovers from her initial surprise, she comes to help you up, and you can tell that she’s doing her best not to laugh as well.

“Are ya okay, dear?” she briefly inspects you for any sign of injury.

“All good here, Mrs. Miya.” You smile, genuinely and comfortably, as Atsumu comes behind you to wrap his arms around you and peck your cheek, still chuckling with a small note of pride. “All good.”

-

“See?” Atsumu’s smug as hell as the two of you enter the hotel elevator on your way up to your room. Osamu had dropped you off so there would be no need for another cab. “I told ya that they’d fuckin’ love ya.”

“Why’re you rubbing in something like this?” You scoff, dodging when he tries to pull you into a crushing hug.

“Because I was right.” He smirks. You roll your eyes to heaven.

“Well, you can’t blame me for being nervous! I still can’t believe that none of them got upset at me for diving for a rice ball at the dinner table.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“Nah, why the hell would they? It was cool. Yer cool, Miss National Team Libero.” He laughs, reaching for you again and this time you let him bring you close to him. “Besides, like I said before, who could ever resist yer pretty lil face?”

“You’re a hopeless asshole.” You sigh, and Atsumu of course just chuckles, his laughter vibrating against your ear as you press yourself into his chest.

“I’m yer hopeless asshole.” He pecks the top of your head. “C’mon, babe. It’s our floor.”

You hadn’t realized how tired you are until the two of you enter your hotel room and you see the large, inviting bed. You practically jump onto it, burying your face into a pillow. “Goodnight…” you mumble sleepily.

“Ya gotta go shower and brush yer teeth first, idiot.” A pillow smacks you in the side of the head, and you leap up with a cry of surprise. “Damn, don’t be so loud, sweetheart. It’s late, y’know. Don’t wanna get a noise complaint like last night.” You turn bright red at the reminder.

“Shut u-up,” you retort. “I told you that we shouldn’t have tried to do it on the balcony.”

“It was fun, though, y’know! An experience. And ya sounded like you were enjoyin’ it, anyway.” He chucks another pillow at you, and you yelp as it nails you in the face. “Now get yer cute ass over here, we’re gonna shower.”

“You can’t make me.” You stubbornly lay back down and close your eyes, and you had peace for all but ten seconds before Atsumu’s plucking you off the bed and settling you into his arms bridal-style. Your eyes shoot open in shock and you flail desperately. “Put me down!”

“No can do. I’m not sleepin’ next to yer stinky self tonight, darlin’.” Atsumu laughs as you scowl.

“The floor’s always open for you,” you snap.

“Aw, yer no fun.” He steals a kiss from you in the blink of an eye; the only evidence of there being contact at all is a tingling feeling on your lips. You feel your heart melt just a little more.

“Fine. After we shower, we go straight to bed. Got it?”

“ And brush our teeth. Yer mornin’ breath is bad enough.” He lets out quite an unpleasant squawk when you smack him lightly in the shoulder. “Alright, sorry, sorry.”

“Is this just your excuse to see me naked?” you tease him as he sets you down on the bathroom counter before immediately removing his shirt to reveal his muscled torso. He grins wolfishly at you and shrugs.

“And if it is?” Atsumu’s eyes are zeroed in on the small hickey he had left right below your collarbone last night, which is now visible thanks to the way your shirt had rumpled after he had practically manhandled you into the bathroom.

“Well, I won’t complain.” You follow his gaze down to your neck, before glancing back up to meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to make it worth my time.”

About an hour later, the two of you are lying in bed together, effectively tuckered out and finally ready to sleep. Atsumu’s strong arms are wrapped tightly around you like a protective cocoon as you snuggle your face against his chest. The slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat rocks you towards dreamland, and all the worries from the past day are slipping away.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble against his chest. He grunts tiredly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

There’s a small silence.

“...Thanks,” you finally say after a beat.

“Huh? For what?” he quips.

“For being patient with me today, even though I was so nervous. And for taking me to meet your family.” You crane your head to look up at him, contentment adorning your features. “I had a good time. I hope they don’t hate the idea of me coming around again sometime.”

Atsumu smiles that familiar smile, the smile filled with affection that others rarely get to see. His eyes are almost half-mooned with joy, his lips are curved up in genuine adoration, and his cheeks are flushed with color. You saw this smile for the first time when he set an incredibly low ball at training camp, earning the awe of everyone in the room, including yourself. Never did you think that you would ever have this expression of pure love aimed at you, nor did you think it would fill you with so much happiness every time you had the blessing of seeing it. He says nothing for a while, suddenly resorting to trailing kisses all over your face. You let him, closing your eyes peacefully as he showers you with his love, ending with one final peck to your nose.

“I'm sure they'd like to have you around again.”

And if Atsumu continues playing his cards right, he thinks there might be a possibility that in the next five or so years, you could truly become part of the family with a glittering ring on your finger.

Only time will tell if that possibility will ever come to fruition, but as you tilt your head up to give him one last kiss on the lips and whisper those three words to him, he knows for sure that he wants to continue building towards that future with you.

“I love you too.” He lets his eyes fall shut as well, before resting his chin atop your head and savoring the warmth of your body against his.

Only time will tell.

-

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