#i think i'm having or about to have a panic attack because of how stressed i am at the idea of hurting them

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[thethingything]

looking at the clock like "ah it's 11:05pm. time to spend the next 2 hours carefully trying to make sure our brain doesn't flip its shit" because for some ungodly reason 11pm to 1am is still the time of night where we inexplicably feel like shit

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

[cactusdodes]

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[neverendingford]

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[fuckingarataswespeak]

School stress and scary kid update for those who know whats going on:

[demigods-posts]

i seriously cherish percy and rachel's relationship. you can't tell me rachel didn't offer to stay up on the phone with percy whenever he was having a hard time falling asleep. you can't tell me percy didn't help keep rachel's sanity intact everytime she saw a monster or had an eerily realistic nightmare about a war breaking out in the near future. you can't tell me rachel didn't help percy regulate his breathing when he had panic attacks in the janitor's closet of their school. you can't tell me percy didn't paint canvases with rachel to alleviate her stress whenever she and her dad had an argument about her passion for art. you can't tell me rachel didn't let percy vent about how he feels like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders all of the time. i think it makes complete sense why these two had crushes on each other: because they genuinely cared about one another. percy and rachel may not have had a long-lasting romantic connection, but i'm a firm believer these two stayed close friends throughout the rest of their lives.

[bratzforchris]

Comfort, M. Sturniolo

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Summary: Matt's been burning out. It's taken a toll on his body and his mind, but luckily, you're always there when he needs you most<3

Pairing: Matt x feminine reader

Warnings: Burnout, mentions of disordered eating and anxiety, panic attack, pet names (baby, pretty/sweet/handsome boy)

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: This was a random little idea I had while I've been out of classes and work sick! Soft hurt/comfort Matt makes me so 💗 Expect a lot of writing this week while I'm on spring break and enjoy this lil story<3

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Being a content creator was an extremely stressful job, and you knew that. You had to constantly be worried about numbers, engagement, and what looks would or would not get you media attention, good or bad. Although it may not be the same as a regular nine-to-five job, it was still incredibly taxing, and that weight was wearing down on your boyfriend roughly and quickly. 

Matt had been teetering on the edge of burnout for a while now, but just chose to ignore it, figuring if he didn’t acknowledge it, it would stay at bay. He knew you could tell; in fact, he knew everyone could tell, but that didn’t stop him from working day and night, constantly editing, pitching ideas to his brothers, and planning new videos. He refused to let you or Nick and Chris help him, not-so-logically thinking he had to ‘pull his weight’. In Matt’s head, Chris was the funny one, Nick was the editor and the smart one, and you had your own job at a local boutique downtown. You all didn’t have time to hear his issues, he thought. 

“Matt? You in here, love?” You knocked on the door to his office, worriedly gnawing on your lip. 

You hadn’t seen your boyfriend since you arrived home from work two hours ago, but you knew he was here because his car was in the driveway. At first, you had left him to his work, figuring he would come out when he was done with his tasks, but now, it was nearing dinnertime, and even the smell of food cooking on the stove wasn’t luring him out. You waited a few beats, not hearing an answer, until you decided to take matters into your own hands. You would never intrude on Matt’s personal space, but truth be told, you missed your boyfriend loads, and you were also slightly worried. 

Matt was hunched over his computer, fingers flying furiously over the keyboard as he typed out an email. He didn’t even look up from the screen until you tapped him on the shoulder, to which you only received a turn of the head and a tired, watery smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Dinner’s ready, baby,” You whispered softly, massaging his shoulders. “I missed you today.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he sighed, rubbing his temples and then turning back to the computer. “I have some stuff to do.”

“Matt, you’ve been in your office since I got home, darling. That was over two hours ago,” You protested gently. “You gotta be hungry, bubba.”

The awful anxiety started to creep into Matt’s mind at your questioning, not because of anything you were doing, but because he knew you were worrying about him, and he didn’t want that. “I ate earlier.” he lied, wincing at how easily the untruth rolled off his tongue. 

“There weren’t any dishes in the sink or the dishwasher and there weren’t any takeout containers. You didn’t eat, love.” You said firmly, but not unkindly. 

You had been noticing for a few weeks now that Matt was eating less and less, abandoning breakfast and usually after dinner dessert in favor of working in his office. You figured the issue would resolve itself after the influencers got out of their ‘busy season’, but here it was, two weeks later and Matt was getting worse, not better. You knew your boyfriend struggled with anxiety even before YouTube, but that wasn’t going to make you brush the issue off. 

“It doesn’t have to be a whole meal, but you need to eat something.” You continued as you massaged his neck and shoulders, him still facing the screen.

Your boyfriend didn’t say anything, and you almost thought he was ignoring you, until he turned to you, blue eyes full of unshed tears. “I can’t,” Matt cried, beginning to choke on held back sobs. “I have so much to do.” 

“Bubba, you can take a break. It’s okay,” You kissed his forehead. “No one is going to be mad at you.”

“But what if I’m not doing enough? What if Nick and Chris think I’m just letting them do all the work? What if…” Matt was cut off by his own shallow breathing, hands moving to fist his feathery brown hair. 

“Matt,” You interjected firmly. “You are panicking. You need to breathe. Copy me.”

Over your year of being with Matt, you had found that a firmer voice with no pet names usually got his attention better than an overly lovey-dovey voice when he was panicking. Matt finally looked at you, his hyperventilating slowing down as he copied your breathing. In for four, out for four. 

“Good boy.” You smiled, gently praising him as he relaxed against his office chair. 

Matt didn’t even argue when you closed out his computer. He just sat back against his chair, massaging his temples. You gently took his hand, leading him to the living room and guiding him to the couch. You knew he needed to eat, but right now, getting him calm and relaxed was the first priority. You sat down on the couch, allowing Matt to lay his head in your lap. You two didn’t speak for quite a while, allowing him to fully calm down first. Finally, you spoke, running a hand across his body and through his hair comfortingly. 

“Do ya wanna talk about it, handsome boy?” You asked kindly.

“I’m just stressed,” Matt sniffled. “I have a lot to do and Nick is already stressed so I tried to help him with editing, and,” he paused to catch his breath as tears rolled down his face. “And some people have been making mean comments about me lately.” he cried.

“Oh honey,” You said sympathetically, kissing his forehead. “I’m so sorry, pretty boy.”

“They say I’m not as entertaining as Nick and Chris cause I’m quiet.” he sobbed softly. 

“Baby, that is the furthest thing from the truth,” You told Matt, kissing his forehead. “You are sweet, kind, and funny. Anyone who says otherwise is a miserable internet troll who takes their problems out on people they don’t even know.”

“Mhm,” Matt sniffled and nodded, curling further into you. All was silent for a while as you cuddled until your boyfriend’s stomach growled. “My belly hurts.” he whimpered. 

You pouted, running your hand over his stomach comfortingly. “It’s probably because you’re hungry and stressed, honey. Those two things don’t mix well. Do you feel like eating some dinner?”

“No.” Matt said flatly, avoiding your eyes. 

“You have to eat, baby. You don’t even have to get up from the couch and it doesn’t have to be a heavy meal, but you have to eat.”

“Fine.” he mumbled, desperately trying not to cry again. 

“I love you, handsome.” You slid out from under him, softly covering him up with a blanket, before kissing his forehead with a little ‘Be right back’. 

You padded into the kitchen, grabbing a granola bar and an apple. You also refilled Matt’s water bottle that had been abandoned on the island with fresh water. Before you went back to the couch, though, you snuck into your shared room and grabbed Matt’s stuffed pug, Mr. Wrinkleton, off the bed. Based on your own anxiety experiences, you knew having a comfort object usually helped, and your boy needed all the help you could offer. 

By the time you made it back to the couch, Matt’s tears had slowed, but he was still visibly sniffling, blankly staring off into space while pulling the blanket closer to his chin. It broke your heart to see him like this, but for now, you were going to focus on comfort; you two could tackle solutions to the problem later. 

“Look who I brought,” You whisper squealed, handing Matt his stuffed animal. “He missed you.”

Your boyfriend smiled softly, clutching the plush animal to his chest. Mr. Wrinkleton had been Matt’s biggest comfort (besides you) for as long as he could remember, and that didn’t change now that he was an adult. He shifted so that you could once again sit down on the couch, before laying his head back in your lap. 

“I brought you some food, too.” You placed the snacks in Matt’s hand, planting a kiss on his forehead. 

Matt didn’t speak much as he chewed thoughtfully on the granola bar and apple. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to you; he was just so exhausted that talking seemed like an extra task. Once he had finished, he placed his trash on the coffee table and then turned over so that his face was smushed against your body. You laid in silence for a while until you softly spoke, running a hand through his hair. 

“How are you feeling?” You asked softly. 

Matt shrugged, snuggling further into the blanket. “My stomach still hurts a little. I’m just really stressed.” he said sadly. 

“I have an idea if you’re up for it.” You smiled. 

“And that idea would be?” 

“Come on, I’ll show you,” You gently took Matt’s hand, making sure he had his blanket and stuffed animal and then led him to your shared bedroom. “Lay down on your back.” You instructed. 

Once Matt had gotten himself into a comfortable position, you straddled yourself across his legs and pulled his shirt off, admiring what you saw for a moment. Your boyfriend was gorgeous and toned with tanned skin and a beautiful sleeve of tattoos that you loved to admire. You stole a pump of lotion from the bottle off your nightstand and began to massage his skin, taking extra care to rub his belly gently and massage the knots in your shoulders. 

“God, Matt. Your shoulders are so tense, honey.” You hummed when your hands met a particular knot in his left shoulder. 

In response, your boyfriend let out a soft moan, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the soft pillows of your bed. It sounded sexual, especially since you were straddling him, but Matt didn’t give a damn. The only thing he could focus on right now was the soft glide of your hands against his skin, melting all his worries away. 

Once you had finished your massage, you cuddled up next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. “Did that help a little?” You asked. 

Matt nodded appreciatively, burying his nose in your neck while holding his stuffed animal to his chest. “Mhm.” he mumbled happily. 

“I’m glad, sweet boy,” You whispered, kissing the spot behind his ear. “You know you can always come talk to me when you’re feeling stressed, right baby? I won’t judge you, nor will I ever be too busy for you.”

“I know,” Matt blushed. “I’m going to work on asking for help instead of trying to handle everything alone…” he whispered softly. 

“I’m so proud of you,” You hummed, giving him the soft praise he so heavily deserved. “You’re the best boyfriend I could ever ask for, you know that?”

“I am pretty great.” the giggle and smile you had been waiting to hear all evening finally crept into Matt’s voice. 

Even when his anxiety and worries got the best of him, he would never lose his ‘Mattitude’, and that was just one reason on a very, very long list that you loved this boy with your whole heart.  

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @idek3000hi @melguilbert

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[luvyeni]

Hiiiii. I would like a reaction from nct dream when the condom breaks during the act please🫶

—｛🎂｝THE CONDOM BREAKS; W/ THE DREAMIES

pairings. nct dream x reader

word count. 500

warnings. mentions of a breeding kink that's pretty much it.

author's note. thank you for requesting! i hope you like it👍🏽!

—｛🍰｝... MARK ! ⋮

Mark definitely does not realize the condom broke until he pulls out of you. The white ring around the base of his cock sends him into a shock.

"No fucking way." He stared at you. "The condom broke."

You were so confused as to why he was about to explode on the spot. "Mark please calm down, i'm on birth control."

"Right." He breathed. "You are."

"Then why are we using condoms?"

—｛🍰｝... RENJUN ! ⋮

Renjun is stressed the moment he realizes when he pulls out of you, and sees that the condom broke.

"Oh my fucking god."

"I have go." He got up, getting dressed, slipping his shoes and coat on.

You watched him confused. "Where are you going?"

He turned to you. "To get you a morning after pill, where else?" Was the last thing he said before leaving out your apartment.

—｛🍰｝... JENO ! ⋮

jeno has a breeding kink (don't be surprised), when he sees the cum dripping out of you, he's not the one panicking, you are.

"Why would you buy cheap condoms?" you slapped his chest, panic spilling alongside a string of curse words.

"Calm down, you're on birth control." You finally remembered. "Right."

"Maybe next time, we can actually do it without a a condom." Jeno has every intention of cumming in you again (with your consent ofc).

—｛🍰｝... HAECHAN ! ⋮

To be honest, both of you realized once he came inside.

"I think the condom broke." You spoke as he pulled out. "Fuck, it's dripping out of you." His voice made you clench around nothing.

"You're on birth control right?" He positioned his tip right at your entrance. "Yes." You sighed as he began to enter you once more.

"Great, because i'm doing that again."

—｛🍰｝... JAEMIN ! ⋮

Super chill, even though your on the verge of a panic attack.

"Jae, Jaemin what the fuck!" You exclaimed. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"I didn't even go that hard? am i really that strong?"

"Jaemin!" You shoved him. "Fine, i'll get you a plan b in the morning, calm down."

"are kids would be cute though."

You were gonna kill him.

—｛🍰｝... CHENLE ! ⋮

He's freaking the fuck out, he doesn't understand, he bought the most durable condoms, how the hell did it break?

"How the fuck does this happen?" You shrugged, you don't understand why he freaking out.

"Why aren't you freaking out." He was genuinely so confused.

"Because I got on birth control 2 years ago, when we started dating." You stared at him blankly.

"You went to the hospital with me when I got it."

"Oh."

—｛🍰｝... JISUNG ! ⋮

As soon as you feel the warm feeling filling you, you're both staring at each other, with horror in your eyes.

"What the fuck."

He is practically yanking himself out of you.

"Oh my god, we're fucked aren't we? We can't have any kids, I can't tell company I'm going to be a father, they barely let us date."

"You! My parents are gonna kill me." She said.

Trust and believe, both of you are going to the store to get the plan b together.

©️LUVYENI

[helen-with-an-a]

Anxiety

Hi. So this was a request and I absolutely loved the idea. Some of it is based off of my personal experiences with anxiety but I'm aware that everyone if different - but please don't feel like you have to read it if you don't want to. But anyway, I hope you enjoy it

Viv Meidema x Reader (platonic)

Description: R has significant anxiety and Viv helps her out

TW: Anxiety; Mental Health

Word Count: 2.4k

You used to pride yourself in how well you could hide your anxiety. Back at your old club, no one noticed your knuckle popping or lip biting; no one saw your toes tapping in your boots or rapid blinking. The minor manifestations of your unease went unseen by previous coaches and old teammates. You used to take a weird level of satisfaction over it – you could hide your struggling so well that no one checked up on you.

And then you moved to Arsenal. It was a bigger club than you were used to; at just 18, you weren’t really used to playing at big stadiums or having sell-out crowds. You knew you were brought in primarily as a bench warmer – often only being utilised as a sub in that 75th minute to offer the Big Stars a small respite. You were comfortable in that role; you could do 15 minutes of a game. Yes, your heart beat so fast before you stepped onto the pitch that you thought you would drop dead from a heart attack any second. Yes, you felt so nauseous as your number flashed on the board that you often needed to take a second to centre yourself once you were in position. But you could manage 15 minutes of this feeling.

And then Beth got injured. That was tough—seeing someone you admired so much go down with the dreaded injury. But Arsenal regrouped and pushed forward, growing closer as they attempted to navigate this blow to the team. You had your friends helping, and even though they didn’t know the extent of your struggles, they did what they could for you.

And then Viv got injured. You were close with Viv; she said you reminded her of her younger self. You didn’t know whether to blush and deny or blush and be quietly proud. Seeing her go down made your nerves soar to unprecedented levels. Your toe taps became leg shakes, your lip biting led to bloody tissues being dapped at the raw skin, and your knuckle popping developed into picking and scratching at your fingers – often resulting in plasters being wrapped securely around them. But still, the team grew closer yet again, helping each other negotiate the struggles of losing some of their greatest players but also their closest friends. Yet you still didn’t go to anyone for help. How could you? Not when everyone was trying to find their new place in the team or their own injuries to contend with.

And then Leah got injured. It reminded everyone of their own fallibility. Leah – Arsenal Vice-Captain and Lioness Captain; destined to lead England to a World Cup win. It was a concern for the whole nation, not just your team. And yet Arsenal bonded even more, using this as a chance to develop an impossibly stronger bond. You still didn’t talk to anyone – not even the team psychologist that was brought in to help the higher stress levels. You didn’t think your worries were worth discussing – especially because you couldn’t pinpoint the cause yourself. You were just anxious … about everything. It was nothing new to you.

And then Laura got injured. The Tiny Tank was down, and it was terrifying. You were on the bench when it happened. That horrific orange stretcher lifting her off the pitch. You had squeezed your eyes shut, trying to hide the sights and sounds of the world from your memory. Your breathing became shallower, and your nails dug into your palm. You hadn’t even noticed the full-time whistle being blown until Steph jolted you from your panic.

And then you were being asked to start. If you thought you were nervous before, you needed to think again. Not only were you now a part of the Starting XI, but you were starting your first-ever game for Arsenal in front of a WSL record-beating crowd. You're nervous about starting the Wednesday before the match. Jonas came up to you during a water break to tell you he needed to speak to you after the session ended. That was it – that was all the information you were given. It made your heart jump and your head spin. You automatically assumed it was something terrible – had Arsenal realised they made a mistake and were letting you go? Had Jonas recognised that having you on the bench, even as an unused sub, was a liability that Arsenal couldn’t risk? Had the team spoken to him to discuss how much they disliked you and that you needed to leave the team? If possible, you were even quieter during the rest of training, silently communicating if someone asked you a question; not even Gio or Jen could bring you out of your shell, and they were always guaranteed a slight laugh from you.

Jonas had brought you into his office. It wasn’t too big, especially with the desk overflowing with papers and the armchair in the corner. He gestured for you to sit, and you did so—perching precariously on the edge of the chair, muscles tensed and ready to spring up as soon as needed.

“Y/N, look … we know you haven’t been used much this past year, and we hoped to do this a bit more gradually, but with all the injuries that have happened …” Jonas sighed. This was it; you were being let go. Your dreams of becoming a professional footballer were down the drain. “You’re going to start on Sunday.” What? No, no, that couldn’t be right! You couldn’t start. You just couldn’t. Talent aside, your body simply could not allow you to begin on Sunday. You felt violently ill during the warmups when you wouldn’t even be a used sub; you couldn’t imagine how you would feel if you were starting. You didn’t reply – what could you say? ‘Sorry, Jonas, I think that would be the biggest mistake in history’? ‘Jonas, I don’t think that’s a good idea – I feel like I have a heart attack before being used as a sub in the 80th minute. I think I will die if you make me start’? ‘Jonas, I understand you are my boss, but you are the biggest idiot alive if you think starting me is a good idea’? You couldn’t say what you were honestly thinking. You didn’t say anything at all – just sat there wide-eyed and terrified at the news. He dismissed you, and you bolted.

You staggered halfway down the corridor, leaning heavily on the wall before you stumbled, knees buckling and your body sliding to the floor. Your heart beat loudly in your eyes; the blood rushing made you feel sick, making you panic more. You couldn’t catch your breath. Everything was too much. You couldn’t do this. You were sitting in a small ball, knees pressed tightly to your chest, your eyes unfocused as you stared in front of you, and your mind spiralled out of control. To anyone passing by, you looked like you were waiting for someone to finish in the gym. There was nothing external to indicate an internal panic. It used to be something you were proud of – your ability to privately panic even in a busy changing room.

You hadn’t noticed that you had stopped opposite the door to the gym. You hadn’t noticed that it was the end of the physio session for the injured players. Leah and Laura didn’t notice you as they left, the door swinging shut behind them. Kim and Beth didn’t notice you as they walked by, either. It was something you used to hold so dear to you – the silent anxiety – and yet now, you wanted nothing more than to be loud and have someone come to help.

“Schatje? Hey, are you ok?” Viv’s voice barely registered. No! No, I am not ok. I am absolutely terrified. I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can’t do anything. You didn’t even blink. She knew it was a dumb question to ask, and you were very much not okay. She had been watching you quietly since Beth’s injury – she watched as you bit your lip and popped your knuckles. She had tried to approach you, but you ran off as soon as she got near. You never looked her in the eyes anymore – not like you used to do that much before the string of injuries, either. But because she was no longer in most of the training sessions with you or the changing rooms, she didn’t see the extent of your struggles. “Oké schatje, lie down for me.” She didn’t really wait for a reply, gently guiding you to lie with your feet flat against the floor, knees bent and back straight, your head in her lap. “Arms by your sides,” she instructed again, guiding your limbs into the desired position. She didn’t know what to expect when she touched you, but she hadn’t considered that you would be numb, almost unresponsive. If it wasn’t for the slight flicker in your eyes when she spoke, she would have thought you were catatonic. “Goed gedaan, lieverd.” You had once told her that you liked hearing people talk in their native languages, even if you couldn’t understand them. She hoped this would bring a little bit of comfort to you when you so obviously needed it. “We need to get your breathing sorted, so I want you to push my hand away with every breath,” she said as she pressed her hand lightly on your diaphragm. She didn’t know if you could even hear her, but she figured if you hadn't calmed down after 10 minutes of this, she could go get help. Eventually, you started to weakly move her hand with each breath. It was small at first but getting more robust and more profound with every moment. “Ik zal je over mijn dag vertellen, ja?” she started rambling about her day in Dutch, letting her soft voice wash over you. You didn’t know what she was saying, but her gentleness calmed the storm in your mind. At first, her words were just a low rumble, but ultimately, you began to pick out words you recognised from her and Vic’s efforts to teach you Dutch, her hand adding a comforting weight to help ground you.

Viv could see the moment you re-entered the world around you. It wasn’t anything massive; you didn’t jump up, move, or do anything that indicated that anything had changed. But something in your eyes told her the clouds were parting, and the blue skies were peeking through in your mind. “Hi, schatje.” She smiled, gently pushing some hair off your face and scratching your scalp.

“Hi, Vivi,” your voice was scratchy, but you tried to make an effort.

“Don’t get up yet. We’re just going to sit here for a little bit, ok?” She phrased it like a question, but you knew it was a statement. You nodded gently and let your eyes slip shut. “What’s got you so nervous, lieverd?” she asked after a few minutes, her tone light as she tried to figure out how to help you.

“I … it’s silly,” you dismissed. She started matches all the time, and here you were, frightened by it.

“No, it’s not.” She said coolly, a finger smoothing the creases in between your eyebrows.

“I’m starting on Sunday,” you eventually whispered.

“Starting is really scary,” Viv admitted. She refused to dismiss your feelings. It had happened to her when she was a younger player, and she wouldn’t let it happen to you.

“No, it isn’t. You start all the time.” You refused to let her comfort you. “I’m just useless. Who the fuck gets nervous after being told they are starting? It’s only Wednesday,” you said, getting a little angry at yourself now. Why couldn’t you just be normal?

“Hey. No. Stop,” Viv said firmly. “I still get nervous when I get told I’m starting. I’m going to be an absolute mess the first time I get into the Starting XI after I come back … if I even make it to the Starting XI,” she added quietly.

“You get nervous?” You asked, slightly in awe of how Vivianne Meidema can get nervous over a football match – she’s one of the greatest players ever.

“Oh, yeh. I try to hide it, but Beth won’t let me anymore. She does what I did to you. She makes me push her hand away when I’m breathing. It really helps.” Who was this woman? She seems so put together on the pitch. Her flawless performances don’t reflect her nerves. “I will be an absolute mess if I ever make it to the Starting XI again.”

“What do you mean ‘if’? Vivi, you’re one of the best players ever. Of course, you’re going to be in the Starting XI again.” You might not recognise your own talents, but you’d be damned if you let anyone else think they were anything less than brilliant.

“I’m just behind on where I want to be in my rehab … it’s fucking with my head a little bit.”

“Progress isn’t linear, Vivi,” you stated as you reached to play with her fingers, which were still resting on your stomach.

“Do you think you could apply some of that pep talk to yourself? Schatje … I know it’s so, so scary to start, especially with what you’ve seen with all the injuries, but I promise you, you have us. Alsjeblieft, lean on us. We’re more than just your teammates; we’re your friends. Most of us consider you a little sister.” She gripped your hand tightly, cementing her promise to you. “Come on, let’s go get a sweet treat, yeh? I think we can also annoy Beth into buying it for us,” she laughed.

You knew you had a long way to go with your anxiety, but you knew you had friends … family … to rely on now. You weren’t alone in this, and it wasn’t unnatural for you to feel this way. It was comforting to know others felt like this. You weren’t alone.

I hope you enjoyed it <3<3<3

[planete777]

꒰ RED LINES .:. LN4 ꒱

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n finds her fate hidden within two red lines, and fears the demise of her and lando's relationship. [based on this ask]

pt. 2 .:. 'red hearts'!

WARNINGS. pregnant!reader, both her and lando aren't ready so there are discussions about potential abortions, mental break downs (i.e panic attacks, crying, you know the drill), angst, mentions of throwing up (no one does it i promise), attachment issues (like me fr), a little bit of fluff (because im not that evil >:])

NOTE. first non-high!lando fic!! i've never written a pregnancy fic, so like, forgive me if it's bad haha 🥲 i put so much effort into my banner, like i'm so proud of it lmao. anyways, enjoy reading luvs 💗

SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any high!lando thoughts, scenarios and requests, or any other trope too 🤍

edited to add tag in banner

y/n is almost blinded by it.

two bold, red lines.

she finds it completely comical how she didn't know it sooner, for the ink that runs down the result window is so palpable, it might as well have been written with a permanent marker.

the test taunts and mocks her as she stares at it in complete despair and confusion as she so sure that they had been careful. but now, she lets herself cry over spilt milk because having a baby, on top of mountainous piles of stress that came hand-in-hand with uni, was not a checkbox she would've liked to tick off amidst her status quo.

the bathroom pounds with an deafeningly eerie silence, as she stares, and stares, then blinks as tears flow, then stares again. her ears are swallowed by loud static and her vision fuzzes around the edges, making the test in her hand seem further away than it actually is, and she allows herself to completely fade out.

she feel utterly sick. like she wants to throw up, but the upcoming bile, instead, remains dislodged in her throat and presses immense weight into her chest. it shortens her breaths, she's hyperventilating as if she's been strangled, then panic completely overwhelms her. everything before her zooms in and out like a malfunctioning camera and the pregnancy test clatters to the ground as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.

she doesn't remember the last time she had a panic attack this severe, and neither does she know if she'll get over it solus. yearn for a presence beside her devours her brain and she wishes that lando–

lando.

the way her heart seems to squeeze in her chest is almost too animalistic to be normal, and it arrives at the thought of him being unacceptable of the baby. he's barely situated in one place, fuck, he basically travels for a living, and all her mind conjures is how he won't be there when she needs him most. she tries to wish it away, because just thinking about her makes her spiral even more and she knows she cannot survive with a child whose father decides to be absent.

codependency isn't great, that she's thoroughly aware of, but lando's presence brings a wave of comfort braided in the brightness of his smiles and the warmth of his embrace, and it has become her whole lifeline.

yet, the bathroom she's in feels too small and too cold to be anything other than unbearable, and her body feels to weak to remain upright, sliding down to the tiled floor. she sobbing and spluttering so much that lando can hear it from two rooms down, and he rushes into the en suite without a thought in mind.

he crouches down in front of her, hands flush against the skin of her cheeks. he's shaking, fucking terrified out of his wits, and his words are enunciated with a tremble.

"hey, hey, y/n breathe with me," he desperately takes her hands into his, and places it on his own chest, making exaggerated breaths as y/n's start to simmer. it feel like hours stretch by, the air surrounding feels tense with fear and devastation, and by the time she settles, y/n senses nothing but exhaustion.

"what's wrong, love? you're scaring me," lando gently asks, and she struggles to respond, mouth rid of any moisture as if it had been scraped dry. lando takes the initiative to look around in hopes that anything would give him a clue to his girlfriend's break down.

then he freezes.

the white stick lays there, gleaming and glowing like it's fucking sent from heaven, and he feels his heart plummet into the depths of his guts. he knows he can deny it all he wants, but it's undeniable, what he's seeing, yet prays like a grieving mother that what he thinks is not true as his quivering hands reaches for it.

two bold, red lines.

"oh fuck," it punches out of him, every inch of energy disperses like fleeing birds, "you're pregnant?"

it's so small, so timid that he almost doesn't see it, but she nods, and his arms fall like he's been shot and the test leaves his fingers. he swears he's drenched in ice cold water and he remains silent, bound by stunned numbness. his lack of response spurs y/n again, and she begins sobbing, pressing her face into her arms and wiping it furiously. all she thinks is that he doesn't want it, and out of sheer terror, she starts rambling utter shit.

"i can get rid of it, if you want, lando, just please i'm begging you, don't leave me."

he's crying himself now, doesn't know what to feel at the suggestion, but it makes him gag.

"get rid of it if i want to? fucking hell y/n, i'm not a prick like that," he fumbles out, words wet and hardly cohesive, "as long as you want to keep it, i want the baby too."

she looks up at him, eyes so full of hope that he immediately takes her into his arms.

"you sure, lando?" she's still hesitant, burying her head into his chest, and as further reassurance, he kisses her forehead, "as sure as i'll ever be."

[webslingingslasher]

Hey J, can you write something fluffy? Any Peter would do. it's exam season and it's stressing me out! I'm just searching for a little comfort 🥹

*cleaning out my inbox, based off some terrible storms we're having in my area. nerdy!peter* also- go me for coming out of retirement, i hope i'm still good 😁

there are three things that wake peter up in the dead of night.

the first was a loud crack of thunder, the second was a whimper, and the third was his skin being latched onto like he's velcro. peter's room flashes when lightning strikes outside his window, rain beating against it like it's begging to come inside.

there's another soft cry, hot breath washes across his ribcage.

'angel?' peter isn't awake enough to make the full connection yet. a pregnant pause, he can hear how hard the rain is coming down, his roof amplifies the sound.

'petey.' it's the soft drawl you have, you're calling out for him like he's your lifeline.

it's enough for him to rid all thoughts of sleep from his mind. 'hey, hey, hey, you're okay.' peter can feel you tremble under his hold, another strike of lightning, he's praying thunder doesn't follow.

'it's bad, it's so bad.' if peter had known about the storm he would've prepared better, instead it caught you both off guard and that made it so much worse for you.

'it's so loud. i don't like it, i don't like it, i don't like it.' you cling to him by hitching your leg over his hips, your arm thrown over his waist to keep yourself pressed against him is threatening a bruise.

peter's thankful this happened to be on a night you were sleeping over. 'sit up.' he rubs your back as a way to raise you, you shake your head. 'i think you need a hug.'

you're up in a second, peter's halfway to meeting you when the thunder he was terrified of hits and you scream while holding your hands over your ears.

peter has a funny feeling another rumble was coming, his hands pressing over yours- you scream again, you swear you felt the walls shake and peter wouldn't disagree.

you dive for him, a bundle of sobs and fast tears. 'you're okay, i promise you're okay.' your chest rises and falls rapidly, you weakly agree. 'i'm okay.'

'i'm here, right? you know i wouldn't let anything happen to you.' you nod. peter keeps you tucked in his neck, he thinks he can hear the rain lighten up, just barely. he reaches for his phone and looks for his weather app, a full radar shows him the threat is moving away.

'hey,' peter keeps his voice low for you. 'look at this,' you peek an eye open and lightly squint at the light, your focus settles in and you finally feel your heart rate lower. 'watch,' peter slides a bar, within the next thirty minutes it'll be completely past you.

'oh thank god, there's an end to my torment.'

'see? i'll will anything for my girl.' it's a nice thought but he can't control the weather. 'you can't control mother nature, petey.' the smile he gives you makes you doubt your words.

'but for you, i'd try.' he's never made fun of your fears, he's only ever been your security blanket when you need one. you can throw him a bone. 'i mean... it did go away after you woke up, so...'

peter laughs, your cheeks feel dry from your tear tracks. you sniff and feel silly for the bought of tears, peter doesn't think you're silly though, he thinks you're brave for toughing it out. he always does.

'you only screamed twice, and that's just because it caught you off guard! you're killing this, angel.' he's always so sweet, out of all the things you love about him, you think that's number one.

pouting your bottom lip out, you give him a small peck. 'i love you.' the rain comes to a sudden stop, peter gestures to his window, 'that's the kind of power your love gives me. bam, i just made mother nature my bitch.'

'peter, don't call women bitches.'

'she's a bitch for making you cry.'

'aw, okay, bitch usage allowed.'

this time, peter kisses you. it's gentle, not because you're weak from the near panic attack- because he's only ever known to be delicate with you. god, you really love his heart. 'i think you're the best person i know. i'm going to look into how to nominate you for a humanitarian award.'

peter ponders it for a second. 'well, the best part of me is you, so i'm not sure how-' you stop him with a light smack to his shoulder, he bows his head and accepts your compliment how you wanted, with a shy grin.

'as long as you keep me around to fight mother nature, i'll keep accepting your awards.'

that's a bet you're willing to take. 

[hellyeahsickaf]

I get disability memes on my Pinterest feed but after getting one for ER Drs/nurses that I found concerning, I kept seeing more and more like it and I went down a rabbit hole. I know it's one of the most stressful jobs someone can have and I really appreciate the medical staff that have been kind to me. These things are definitely made by the types of people who haven't been.

I think it's important because memes are kind of a way to let off steam but they mean what they're saying. They're not just jokes but they're framed in a way that they can say it more comfortably. Sometimes they're just straight up admitting to crimes and malpractice. It's like when someone says something that crosses a line in a joking tone so that if you feel attacked they insist it's just a joke and you're taking it too seriously. But my life is constantly in the hands of these people and I've been mistreated time and time again by medical personnel

I'm gonna go through them because honestly I hate them and there are a lot of repeating themes

These are extremely common. The focus of the meme being that a whiny patient is asking for pain medication that they clearly don't need. Something commonly mentioned in these is disbelief that the patient has an allergy because it's common for someone trying to get drugs to claim they have an allergy.

Also the Confucius one is both ableist and racist so double whammy I guess!

I've dealt with people I know are silently assuming this of me. I'm allergic to NSAIDs- deathly allergic and at risk for asphyxiation or anaphylactic shock. Medical staff sometimes have this attitude of "we know when you're faking your pain" (no really I had one say this shit on my post about this) and that has traumatized me immeasurably because they'd rather me wait for 4+ hours in some of the worst pain of my life than risk the possibility of me being an awful scheming mustache twirling addict.

This category is just as common. "I don't like you so I'm going to drug you". That's more fucked up than they seem to think it is.

Then there's the category of "you're a whiny little bitch and I don't believe a word out of your mouth". Which contributes heavily to medical malpractice and abuse

Again these are doctors and nurses making these, people responsible for treating patients with care and dignity and respect. Especially if they want any in return

Aaaaand this one is just a crime. One that's happened to me actually- reporting examinations that never happened to get rid of me because I was such a nuisance (crying, hardly coherent, drenched in sweat, 9/10 pain on arrival)

And then there are the ones like "don't mess with me because i handle your treatment/meds 💕". Things like "the way you treat me is the deciding factor for how fast I'm going to get your painkillers 😊". Which to me is just... evil?

I've never in my life mistreated medical staff but people in a lot of pain get mean sometimes. It's a survival instinct actually- for aggression to accompany pain or panic. Not that it's ever okay but it isn't personal

These are just a few examples really, there are so fucking many of these with this awful, cruel, cynical tone. There are some funny ones that aren't mean or degrading towards patients but so many of them are and in nearly every one I see a mean spirited healthcare worker that I've encountered at some point who damaged me in ways I will never psychologically recover from

[feltit-wroteit]

The Prodigy Son

Art Donaldson x Fem!reader

Something about all the stress Art had been under all of his early teenage years and right now made him vulnerable. He had always been, the only difference is that he had you now.

Warnings: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, sad! Art, panic attack, talk of death

Nothing ever made you more worried than the text you had just received from your boyfriend.

Paint :) -> I need you. I'm in the lockers, please hurry...

You took your school bag off the floor quickly and hurried to meet him. Art had never texted you like this. Without a nickname or even a silly exclamation point that showed you he was always happy. Not in this one though. There was an absence of both. When you reached the men's locker room, it was silent. You dared a glance in and saw that the place was void of any other men. "Art? Baby?" You called out to locale your boyfriend.

Sobs. There was only sobs to be heard.

You walked to the sound and saw your boyfriend on a bench in his underwear. His head was held up by his arms propped up on his knees. His entire body shook and his breathing was uneven; dangerously so. You got closer to him and made your presence known by getting on your knees in front of his eyes. "Baby. Breath. Come on, breath for me." He then looked at you for the first time. But his breathing hadn't changed. He was sobbing like it was never going to end. In all honesty, you were started to get scared. "Art, please follow my breathing pattern." You took a deep breath in, telling him to do the same, and followed by breathing out. You repeated the process six times until his breathing had evened out. That is when he said his first words to you: "Can you hold me. Please, Y/n/n?" You didn't hesistate to take him in your arms and wait for him to come back to reality totaly.

It took about ten minutes for your boyfriend to calm down completely and stop sobbing. Your soothing movements on his back had stopped and you pulled away to see his face better. His soft features were marked by tear streaks and you frowned at that. What had made him so upset? It wasn't his first panic attack. You knew that because he had shared that with you during one of your late night talks. But you had never been there during one. He had not had one since you two got together seven months ago.

You helped him get dressed by handing him his Stanford shorts and polo shirt. He kissed your lips quickly a few times and let a few more tears out. Art was a mess and you didn't know why... "Art?" You asked while he was pulling back from a kiss after having put the final item of clothing on his body. "Yeah?" You took his hand and made him sit with you on the bench. "I think we should talk about this. Right? I'm sorry if it's too forward, but it's worrying me and-" he cut you by putting his hand on yours that was on the bench between your two bodies. "I want to talk about it. If you want to ear it, of course?" You nodded silently and held his hand while he started explaining.

"I love tennis. I really, really do. But sometimes I'm wondering if I have what it takes." He admitted while looking down at his lap. You rubbed his thumb reassuringly. "Of course you do, baby. I'm no expert, but Tashi told me so. Your coach seems to think so too... What happened that made you think that?" You tried to meet his gaze but he just went deeper into his head. "Hey. Stay with me..." You took the side of his face in your palm and lightly brushed it with your thumb. "My father called..." He said and tears came again. "What did he say?" You wanted to know what had put him in this state. "My grandma's dead, baby. She died last night of a stroke." He burst out in tears againa nd you went forward and held him.

You knew how close Art had been to his grandma. She was her biggest supporter, she had always been. "I shouldn't have waited to go pro. She never got to see me pro, Y/n/n." He blurted out through sobs. You held him closer than ever and sighed. "I know baby, but she'll see you from up there." You whispered. "I think and know she was proud of you right now, Art. No matter where you go after this, she would've been your biggest fan. That I am sure of. Don't put pressure on yourself over her. From the little I do know of your beautiful grandma, I know she would be sad about it." He pulled back a little and looked at you intently. "You think?" He asks more unsure than you had ever heard him. You nod your head and wiped his tears away. "When's the funeral?" "In two days." He answered and a comfortable silence fell over you two while you held for the third time in the pas hour.

A little while after, Art got up after kissing you and took his bags with him. He led you two to the exit of the lockers and you walked him to his dorm. "Y/n?" You turned your face to look at him while holding his hand. "Would you come with me? To the funeral, I mean." He waited for an answer and you smiled at him softly. "Of course, whatever you want, Art." He lifted your entertwined hands and kissed your knuckles. "Thank you for being there for me. I love you." You smiled even brighter. "I'll be here for you no matter what, baby. I love you more." You said to him as you guys continued your way to his dorm. You had spent the night at his place and you watched his comfort film while cuddling up and organizing your trip to his hometown.

At the funeral, everybody was happy that Art had found a girl as loving and supporting as you. When he walked to the open casket, you held his hand and comforted him to his needs. No one had ever done such a beautiful and meaningful thing for him. For him, you were it. You were the person he wanted to be fierce and also vulnerable with.

It was not even a full year later that he asked for your hand.

[kasagia]

hi, can you do a one-shot for klaus, where he has a crush on y/n, and they have a one-night stand, and Klaus is sad because he thinks he won't see her again, but then he gets the news that y/n n is pregnant with his daughter (reader gets pregnant, no hayley, y/n is Hope's biological mother) and klaus takes the news well, because it's someone he loves and takes the pregnancy as an opportunity to make t /n love him.

Making her love me

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x fem! reader Word count: 7,4k (way too long, sorry not sorry) Warning(s): smut mention, panic attack (a little), swearing, and typical TVD violence. Nonsense from me: I'm so excited to post it since it's my first request/ask or whatever I should call it. I hope it's basically what you asked for, Gallus Anonymous! <3

Klaus Mikaelson loved Y/N Y/S.

The original hybrid was hopelessly in love with her since the first time he met her on his family's ball. He will always remember that day.

She looked like an angel. Well, maybe more like a devil (judging by the fact that part of her hair was arranged in two small buns imitating horns), but still, she was the most beautiful girl at the party (and maybe in the whole world).

When he saw her, dancing in her black-golden dress with one of Salvatore's brothers, he knew that this girl would be his at the end of the day. Even if he has to fight with these bloody, young vampires.

Unfortunately, Y/N didn't have the same feeling when she first saw him. As a proud member of a Mystic Falls group (who returned to the town after a school exchange), she was obligated to hate the Mikaelsons.

But she must admit to herself that the man with the British accent was incredibly hot.

Damon, noticing Klaus's sudden interest in his friend, decided to use this to his advantage and pushed Y/N into the arms of their nemesis. Klaus was delighted. Y/N disgusted.

The original hybrid stuck to her for the rest of the evening, forgetting all about Caroline. Y/N has since become Klaus Mikaelson's official distraction. And she wasn't happy about it at all.

Her friends would use the Siphon Witch whenever they needed to keep Klaus occupied or to ease his bloodlust after doing something stupid (like stealing white oak stakes right under his nose and 12 obedient hybrids. Great plan, Damon!).

Y/N would have to wisely bump into Mikaelson and spend some time with him until the Mystic Falls heroes fix the shit they made. At least the girl was much less stressed compared to her friends, and sometimes she really enjoyed the company of the hybrid.

Once, a man took her to a cafe-studio where little-known Mystic Falls artists would gather. She returned to the Salvator Brothers' estate in navy blue paint, with little constellations painted by Klaus on her face, arms, and neck. Damon barely refrained from making a sarcastic remark.

Fortunately, Stefan saved him from her very likely wrath, because every time someone makes jokes about Y/N's relationship with Klaus, she gets mad and loses control over her magic power. Once, Bonnie had to repair Stefan's motorcycle. The vampire learned his lesson then and tried not to annoy her again. Sometimes, though, he seriously considered letting his older brother cross the line. He wondered if Damon would cry over a damaged car.

With time passing, Klaus had only a stronger crush on her. Everyone knows that. Expect Y/N herself.

At best, she thought the hybrid regarded her as some sort of friend or a distraction between his villainous grand schemes. There could be no feelings between them. Not when she already had a very loving boyfriend whom the original hybrid found out about at a 1920s school party.

She bewitched him completely then. And he was ready to tell her the truth about his real feelings for her and try to make her his, but then he saw this other guy holding her like he wanted to hold her the first time he met her. For Klaus, this man didn't deserve her attention; that human didn't realize how valuable a treasure he was holding in his hands right now. Klaus wanted to go away and let Y/N enjoy dancing with this lesser man. He really does. But when she turned and looked at him with these beautiful, delightful eyes, he couldn't just disappear without exchanging one last word with her.

After all, Klaus was a selfish man.

"You don't mind if I cut into you." Klaus' voice came from behind me, making me shiver.

"Yes. Actually, we do." My boyfriend snarled, recognizing the guy who was "hanging dangerously around me." He had no idea about the supernatural shite we were in and I had no idea how to tell him all of this (or just didn't want to).

Klaus just smiled unfazed, catching his gaze.

"Why don't you go somewhere far away and come back in 20 minutes? You can be useful and bring the beautiful lady something to drink." my boyfriend dutifully obeyed, leaving me with a smug hybrid. "Shall we, love?" he grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, swaying to some slow, romantic song without waiting for my response.

"Why do you always have to prove you're the alpha male?"

"I don't have to prove anything, love, I'm the alpha male." he replied, offended. I rolled my eyes, sighing.

"You would've loved the 1920s, Y/N. Girls were reckless, sexy, and fun. They literally used to dance until they dropped." he turned me around, smiling slyly.

"Since they were so reckless and drunk, I suppose it was easier for you to find a lover then."

"You should be nicer to me. I'm leaving town tomorrow." I shifted my gaze to him, shocked by the information he had thrown at me. "I'd invite you to come with me, but we both know that you're not ready to accept my offer. Perhaps one day you'll turn up at my door and let me show you what the world has to offer."

"How many girls fell for it? A magical tour of the world with an all-powerful original who plays with them like toys?"

"You mark my words. Small-town boy, small-town life won't be enough for you." he said, completely ignoring my previous words.

"And how do you know what's enough for me?"

"Because I know you, Y/N. Do you imagine marrying that stupid man with whom you were dancing later? Giving him children, living too short to make your real dreams come true?" I wanted to look away from him, but he gently grabbed my chin, forcing me to confront him and all my fears at the same time. "You want love, trust, passion, excitement, and even a little power, and unlike this fool, I can give you all of this and more. Just say a word."

"But for what price?" I asked, taking a big breath.

I realized we were much closer than was appropriate for a dance, but neither of us cared. His gaze was moving from my eyes to my mouth. I licked my chapped lips unconsciously, stuck in some incomprehensible anticipation. Only for what?

"Kaus. Y/N. I finally found you two. We have a problem. Klaus' mother is back." Stefan interrupted the moment between us.

I swear I could hear a little swear from the hybrid before he took my hand and led me towards Stefan, who was hurrying away.

After that, T/N didn't get a chance to meet Klaus again. Since they were on opposite camps in finding the cure, Y/N tried to avoid the hybrid at all costs. He just wanted to use her. Seduce her with his sweet words to make her do everything he wanted. She had no other explanation.

Klaus, on the other hand, tried to get her out of his head in every way he knew how. He couldn't keep up with adding new canvases for the portraits of his one-sided crush. His siblings were starting to worry about him.

Especially after he found out her boyfriend was going to propose to her. (Damon has never been prouder of being a gossip boy.) This overflowed the hybrid's cup of bitterness.

Kol and Elijah walked around their brother like they were on eggshells. Rebekah, on the other hand, has no such pity. It was her occasion to tease Klaus, like he was doing whenever she fell in love (at least Rebekah didn't want to kill Y/N like SOMEONE).

But nevertheless, she was the one to tell Klaus that Y/N rejected her boyfriend's proposal. The original never loved his sister more. He was happy that Y/N was now single, and he even thought that in the near future he may have a little chance with her since there were no other competitors for her heart.

But even in his wildest dreams, Klaus would not have dared to think that Y/N would knock on his door that same day and greedily bite into his lips as soon as he opened it. And not that she'd start ripping his clothes off and pushing him into his bedroom (which surprised him, given that she knew how to get there without his directions).

He never would have thought that one night would change his life forever.

~•♤♤♤•~

Y/N's POV

I sighed, rolling over to the other side of the bed as the first rays of sunlight somehow hit my eye. I always kept the windows closed. How come I didn't do it this time? Reluctantly, I opened one eyes to look at my treacherous bedroom window, only to found out that I wasn't in my room.

Also, not in my bed.

And not in any clothes.

AND DEFINITELY NOT ALONE.

As soon as I looked at the calm, sleeping, and clearly satisfied (judging by his disheveled hair) Klaus, memories of last night started flooding back to me.

Panicked, I looked around the room for my clothes, trying to ignore the sight of overturned furniture, a broken mirror, and even a dent in the wall. Unsuccessfully. My face has never been so close to the color of my blood.

Once I'd traced my things, I carefully got out of bed and dressed as quietly as I could, closing the vampire's bedroom door behind me. Now all I had to do was get out of the house full of originals unnoticed. Simple, right?

"Y/N, darling! What a pleasure to see you this morning. How do you feel?" Klaus' little brother jumped out of nowhere and threw one arm around my shoulders, making me come inside the house again.

"Hello Kol. Bye Kol." I tried to dodge him, but he sped up to stand in front of me.

"Wait a minute half-witch. You're going to leave my brother like this? After your… noisy night? He'll be devastated. Was he not up to the task? I could teach him a bit if that's a problem for you. You have my word that within a week you won't be able to stop…"

"Kol! For the bloody hell, stop this awkward conversation. I'm sorry for him, usually we keep him in a coffin." Rebekah cut him off and stood next to him, glaring at him furiously.

"Um… no problem, I guess. If you don't mind, I'm gonna go now."

With even redder cheeks, I ran out of the mansion and, at the speed of light, got into my car, driving far away from this town. I needed rest, and I knew only one person who would be willing to take me under their roof without any questions.

"Hi Katherine. Where are you right now?"

~•♤♤♤•~

"Are you sure it's just food poisoning? Won't you die here suddenly? Do you want my blood?" Katherine flooded me with questions as I returned to our table.

It's been 2 months since my "great escape," as Damon liked to call it, from Mystic Falls. At that time, I was traveling with Katherine around the United States, doing what I wanted to do most: seeing the world (starting with small things like staying in all states). After the brunette gave the cure to Elijah (while experiencing her epic love story with him, which ended with her heartbreak over Elena's meddling and Elijah's doubts), she decided to accompany me on my quest.

I had to arrange everything in my head. What I wanted out of life, who I wanted to be, and so on.

That was the main purpose of this trip.

In fact, I helped Katherine heal her broken heart and tried to avoid the topic of Klaus Mikaelson like the plague. With small or big successes depending on the day.

Sometimes Damon, Stefan, or Bonnie would mention how snappy he'd become after my sudden departure or that he was asking them about my whereabouts. The worst was his drunken voicemails he left. They ended after the first month, but they were the biggest test of my perseverance. I had to piece my twisted life together before adding my love problems with the world's (nearly) oldest living vampire to the puzzle.

At least that was the plan until those New Orleans bitches got me.

As soon as we left the bar, some girls accosted us and knocked us out with magic. I woke up in some cold, dank, musty crypt with Katherine by my side. At least I wasn't alone. We both had a better chance of defeating those witches. The new thing in those two months was my sudden ability to do magic without any source of energy. It looked like my abilities were starting to screw up too.

"Are you Y/N Y/S?" one of the witches approached us, staring at me warily.

"One and only. May I know who I am having the pleasure of?"

"Sophie Deveraux."

"Sophie. Some time ago, I knew a girl with this name. She got under my skin too. She is dead now. You can guess what happened to her."

"Yeah. It's definitely her. I couldn't imagine someone more of this psycho's type." she told her friends. The women grabbed us both and led us out of the makeshift cell to drag us to the main hall of the crypt.

"Allright. Can one of us tell why you are holding us here?"

"We need you, sugar, but your friend is just an accessory, so if you want both of you to get out of this somehow, you'll keep quiet." seeing that I had no intention of objecting, the unknown woman smiled victoriously. "Good girl."

I gave her a sweet smile before breaking her neck with a flick of my wrist. There was a sudden commotion around us. Katherine suffered a brain aneurysm after one of the witches raised her hand on her. The brunette screamed once before someone else appeared in the crypt, tearing out the heart of the witch who was attacking her.

Elijah.

Elijah came to save the day.

"I thought you wanted to talk, and both Katherine and Y/N were supposed to be unharmed." he said in his legal tone, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stepped between me and Kath. The woman was as pleased with the presence of the original as I was.

"She started." Sophie pointed at me. Elijah turned to look at me. I shrugged.

"You make me." I answered her with a malicious smile.

"Y/N." the man said warningly. This noble bastard won't tell me what to do.

"Elijah. Nice to see you. Maybe you can tell us why we've been locked in some fucking tomb? Is this some kind of revenge of yours, or did we get caught in the crossfire of Mikaelson's skirmishes purely by chance?"

"I would like to know that too. You wanted to be heard. Speak, before I change my mind." he turned to the witches without changing his defensive position.

I gave Katherine a brief, knowing glance. The woman reluctantly nodded at me. Great. We have personal cannon fodder if things get hotter.

"Marcel Gerard, ruler of the city, forbade the witches of my coven to use any magic. We want your help. Especially your brother's."

"Niklaus? You have to make him go to town first. And as far as I know, she's not in the mood for any outings right now."

"Even if he gets a message from her?"

"Your mother didn't teach you not to point at people?"I growled at her as she did it again. "Besides, I didn't text… You have my phone, don't you?" I asked, realizing it was their only way of contacting the hybrid. The woman tossed me my phone with a sly smirk.

"Read." I scowled but followed her instructions anyway, wondering what it was that would make him stick his nose out of Mystic Falls.

"I need you, Klaus. New Orleans. Witches cemetery. Please help me. Yeah. I can already tell you that he won't come. We're waiting here for no reason."

"And why is that?"

"This news reeks of a damsel in distress from a mile away. I would never write to him like that. I also doubt if he even cares what happens to…" I stopped when I heard someone's scream in the distance. A man mentioned earlier had burst in with blood on his hands and lips.

Well… mistakes happen.

"Great! Now that we're all here, we can start. We need your help." The woman began to explain the whole thing about Marcel and the witches. Everything was clear except for one thing.

"And where exactly is my role in this Machiavellian plan of yours?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And who said I would agree to it instead of just killing you all and taking Y/N out of here?"

"I can take myself and KATHERINE out, Klaus. I don't need your help."

"Oh, do you?" he took a few steps towards me to stand in front of me. I snorted, returning his dark gaze. There's no way I'll be afraid of him.

"That's how we get to the main topic." Sophie paused, catching our attention again. Klaus stood next to his brother, giving the witch his famous sinister look while he was waiting for her to continue. "You see, I have a special gift for knowing when a woman is pregnant."

"And how exactly is this fact important to us?"

"She's carrying Klaus' child."

I broke the sudden silence in the crypt with a very loud laugh.

"And you're insane or a very, very bad liar."

"I'm telling the truth! You're pregnant with his child." she tried desperately to convince us.

"Vampires can't procreate, ergo, I am not in any false pregnancy."

"Vampires can't. But werewolves can. And Klaus is both."

"That's ridiculous. Klaus, say something! She didn't tell the truth, did she?" I tried to find support from the speechless Klaus. By the way, I think it was the first time I saw him without words.

"Y/N, be quite for a second."

"What? Elijah, are you believing her?" the man responded with nothing, staring at me with a strange look.

Klaus walked over to me. He stopped a few steps in front of me, staring at my belly as if he was hypnotized.

"I can hear it." he whispered, looking at me in disbelief.

"Hear what?"

"The baby's heart."

"What? But... it's impossible." I suddenly felt my heart beating much faster, as I was unable to catch my breath properly.

"It is. Like being a hybrid or a witch without her own magic. And yet we're here. And we gonna have a baby."

"No. That's a lie. I... we... I need fresh air." I avoided the brothers standing in front of me and headed the way Klaus had come from earlier. Unfortunately, one of these witches blocked my way and grabbed my arm tightly.

"You're not going anywhere until we settle the details of our deal." right after she said that, I felt her hand being removed from me. I was pulled against someone's strong chest. The familiar smell of Klaus' perfume brought me a momentary sense of relief.

"Touch her again, and I'll make sure that's the last thing you gonna do before I take your miserable life away from you." Klaus growled, tightening his protective grip on me and scouring the present witches with a hostile glare.

"Calm down, both of you. Neither of you will have any use for her if she faints here. Klaus, take her outside. Elijah and I will take care of everything."

Klaus glanced at Elijah. His brother nodded, encouraging him to leave. The hybrid took my hand gently and led us out onto the streets of New Orleans. We stopped in a square. Klaus sat me down on a bench and knelt in front of me, carefully watching me take slow, deep breaths, trying to calm down.

When I was sure my magic wouldn't suddenly blow up the whole city, I opened my eyes tentatively to meet the vampire's concerned gaze. I swallowed, turning my eyes away from him. He was still kneeling in front of me with his hands on my lap.

"Are you better?"

"I think so." I glanced at him nervously, fiddling with the bracelets on my wrist to internally brace myself for asking the original thousand-year-old hybrid about something incredibly... stupid. "Can you... go to the one place with me?"

"Are you sure you want to go back there, love?" I shivered when I heard this familiar nickname. I missed this. Klaus misread my reaction as he shrugged off his leather jacket and covered me with it.

"Thanks. I don't want to go back there. I think, well, I need to be perfectly sure it's true that..." I stopped, unable to say the words aloud. It would have been too real then, and right now I couldn't accept even the slightest possibility.

"That we're going to be parents?"

"Yhm. Will you go with me to the gynecologist? I don't want to do this alone."

"Anything you want, love. I'll check the address." he sat next to me and started searching for the location of the nearest clinic on his phone.

As we sat together in silence, I began to wonder at the absurdity of this situation. And the improbable, rational behavior of the hybrid sitting next to me.

"Klaus?" I asked, yanking him off the phone for a moment.

"Yes?"

"You're not... you know. Crazy about this? Or something like that. I mean... I thought you gonna ask me if it's yours, of course if it even exist, but still. You're so... calm. Like not you."

"Would you rather me to run mad around town and deny our baby?" I chuckled, imagining his lunatic walk through the streets.

"No. To be honest, I would have expected something like that than this, but it's a nice surprise. It's enough that one of us is scared to death. Thank you for keeping a cold head."

"Don't get used to it, love. C'mon. I know where to go."

In less than five minutes, we got to the building and waited in line. There were many other people in the waiting room, but what caught my attention the most was a couple sitting in the corner. Husband and wife. The woman was probably in her third trimester (or had quadruplets. God, please let me have only one if there are any.) The man whispered something tenderly into her belly, and she smiled at him with just as much adoration. Involuntarily, I imagined Klaus and myself in this situation. I glanced at the tense vampire next to me. He was also staring at the couple.

"Y/N Y/S?"

"It's me."

"Are you going alone or do you have any company, dear?"

"My boyfriend is coming with me." I said, taking Klaus' hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an amused smirk on his lips. We started walking hand in hand behind the doctor. The vampire leaned toward me.

"Boyfirend, huh?" he whispered in my ear, clearly pleased with the situation.

"Don't get used to it, love." I repeated his earlier words, trying to imitate his tone of voice. The man chuckled, politely following the doctor with me.

I had to admit that it was funny to watch Klaus in such a... strange situation. His nervous, slightly stressed demeanor gave me courage as I lay there waiting for the ultrasound results. The cold gel tickled slightly, but I gritted my teeth, waiting for the final confirmation of my fate.

"There it is. That's your baby. Congratulations!"

Klaus put his hand on my shoulder and leaned gently toward the small screen. I stared at the tiny speck as if it were enchanted. It really was happening. I will be a mother.

"Do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat?"

"Could you give us first a second alone, doctor?" Klaus spoke as he saw me still staring blankly at the screen.

"Of course. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Oh, my God. It's real. We'll have a baby." I choked out after a few seconds of silence between us.

"You took that information really quickly, love."

I punched him lightly on the shoulder, finally turning my attention to the man standing next to me.

"Stop joking with me. Aren't you scared? I mean, a few hours ago we were on the other side of the country, living our lives, and now we're looking at some stain, which is our baby. Are you that calm, or am I being dramatic?"

"Of course I'm afraid, but I know we're going to figure it out. Maybe if it were someone other than you, I would be paranoid and mad, but it's you. With you by my side? Nothing can go wrong." I burst into tears at his emotional confession. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Come here, you idiot." I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into him. "I hope Katherine got our things back."

"Yes. Speaking about her..." he said, moving away from me to look at my face.

"She is staying with me and you're not going to kill her." I said it in a tone that left no room for any objection. It's been 500 years; whatever conflict there was between them should be over by now.

"Absolutely not."

"Yes? So be prepared that if this little one is a girl, she'll be named after aunt Katherine, who couldn't be there for her mom because her dad is acting like he's on his period."

"You know you've been pregnant for a few hours, and you're already using it against me?" he asked resignedly. The grimace on his face was a clear sign of my victory.

"Get used to it. You're stuck with me for a while."

"I think I can work with that. Let's go home. I think uncle Elijah and Katherine will want to see the first photo of the newest member of the Mikaelson family."

~•♤♤♤•~

*Two months leter*

"Good morning, Y/N"

"Morning Elijah." I grunted from my book, never taking my eyes off the text I was reading.

"Have you eaten yet? Want me to make you pancakes?"

"Actually..." I didn't have time to answer, because an extremely happy hybrid came out of the kitchen with a large tray on which was my breakfast.

Elijah looked at his brother in disbelief as he sat comfortably next to me on the couch and began feeding me with a fork while I continued to read my book as if nothing had happened.

"Niklaus. Can you explain?" his brother was shifting his bewildered gaze between us.

"His werewolf hormones tell him to look after me. So when I told him I wasn't having breakfast today because I didn't want to stand in this heat by the stove, he made it his morning's main goal to make me a decent meal. At least Marcel and the witches will get some rest from him today."

"Werewolf hormones?" very amused Kol entered the living room, staring at the hybrid with a malicious smirk.

"Yes, brother. Werewolf hormones." Klaus' cool tone caught my attention away from the book.

"Of course... your werewolf hormones. So that's what they call it now. Just don't flood Y/N with this sudden tenderness, or the girl will get scared and run away from you again." before Klaus could make any move towards his younger brother, I grabbed his hand and moved him so that I could get more comfortable on his chest.

"He is weird." I commented as I took a grape from the bowl and popped it into Klaus' mouth, much to Elijah's astonishment.

"Weird? No. Just a little joker. I have to go now. I'll meet you later, Niklaus. Please, don't start without me."

"Do I want to know what he was talking about?" I asked, giving him a curious look.

"It depends. Will you get angry?"

"If it has to do with that teenage witch, Davina, that your adopted son treats like a daughter? Probably." his silence was an answer enough. I pulled away from him, eyeing him disapprovingly.

"Klaus."

"Yes, love?"

"Promise me you're not going to hurt her."

"And what does it matter? I'm not Elijah, how sure are you that I'll keep my word?" my angry look, however, fortunately made him give up. "Alright. She'll be fine." he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Thank you. On the way back, you can stop by the store and buy me more chocolate and ice cream."

"As you wish."

He got up from the couch, placed a quick kiss on my already-showing belly, and left the living room, passing Rebekah as she entered. His sister looked at me curiously.

"What?" I asked, fed up with her penetrating gaze.

"Nothing. You two seemd very... compatible with each other. I'm impressed."

"Well, he's the father of my baby. We have to get along. For the baby's sake, it's best if we're friends."

"Surely." she hummed, completely unconvinced.

"Rebekah. What do you mean?"

"I mean that "just friends" wouldn't act that way. My brother never treated anyone with such affection. He's doing everything he can to impress you. For a bloody hell, he even changed his plan to take over the city for you!"

"She is right." Katherine walked past her and threw herself on the couch next to me. "He does everything he can think of to make you fall in love with him. For example, that "almost date" at the best restaurant in New Orleans last week. Or the fact that you've been given unlimited access to his credit cards, safes, stashes of clothes, and God knows what else. Or that weekend out of town so you could relax. Do you think they seriously didn't have a second room with two beds in the hotel?"

"Nik used the one bed trope? He's even more desperate than I previously thought." Rebekah snorted as she poured herself a glass of whiskey.

"Even if what you say is true, which I doubt, I have no intention of changing anything. Klaus and I work well as friends, and for the sake of this child, we will continue to be them so."

"So you don't love him back?" Rebekah questioned, coming to me, so she could stay in front of me. Her evaluative look somehow made me feel guilty.

"It doesn't matter what I want or feel. The most important thing for me is my child and I will do everything to ensure at least a little normality for them. If Klaus and I tried to be together and it didn't work out... At least this child deserves reasonably normal parents."

"What if you were happy together and created a loving family? Wouldn't that be better for everyone?"

"It's not worth the risk, Bekah." I replied, getting up from the couch to escape the inconvenient conversation with the original vampire.

"Risk of what?"

Losing him.

I didn't answer as I left the room. I decided to hide in the library for the rest of the day and try to forget the doubts the blonde had stirred up in me.

But my wild imagination did not give up so easily. I began to consider a possible relationship with Klaus. Despite what I told the girls, I wasn't blind to Klaus'… flirtatious remarks and behavior. I saw every long, stolen glance at me, every quick look at my lips during any conversation, and most of all, the longing shining in his eyes that was so similar to mine and that I somehow managed to hide from him.

I wanted to spend my life with him. But I also knew that I'm not enough to keep him away from his scheming and fighting for power. For the good of this baby, I had to be content with being his formal one-night stand and friend at best. Even if my heart yearned for him every single day.

Thinking about my unattainable future, I didn't even notice when I got to the library. But I certainly saw two people kissing in the room.

Klaus and Camille. At least he cleared up all my doubts.

I was probably the only one who noticed how my heart shattered into a million pieces. At least until Klaus pulled away from her, confused, and spotted me in the doorway.

"Y/N." he whispered, terrified.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt… I'll leave you alone."

"No! Y/N, wait!" he shouted, trying to get to me, but before he got even a step closer, I used my magic to teleport myself to a New Orleans street.

I leaned against the building next to me as the first post-teleport symptoms started to hit me and my head started spinning a bit. I shouldn't have done it while being pregnant, but well… I couldn't stay in the same room with these two any longer.

Once I had recovered, I decided to order myself a hot chocolate and sit with it in the park to collect my thoughts. I had to come up with some clever, eloquent way out of this predicament. And most of all, refrain from crying.

Thinking about this situation, after all, everything happened as I wanted. Klaus had found someone else to adore, so I could stop worrying about the deterioration of my relationship with the Mikaelsons.

We would be friends.

Just as I wished.

The only problems were my stupid broken heart and festering feelings of jealousy.

I wiped a tear running down my cheek with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself down. Something that stupid couldn't get me off balance. I had to be strong. If not for myself, then at least for this little one.

My phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pants pocket and glanced at the screen to see the photo of Klaus sleeping with me on the couch that I had set as his contact picture.

I remembered that night. It was one of the first month at the Mikaelson Mansion and also my favorite.

"Can't sleep?" Klaus stepped out of the shadows to stand in front of the fireplace, which flames I had been staring at earlier.

"Not even tried."

"May I?" he asked, pointing to the blanket that covered me. I nodded, opening the hem so he could slip into the space next to me. He put his arm around me, moving us into a more comfortable position. One of his hands automatically went to my slightly rounded belly. I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder, and returned to staring at the flames of the fire. "What's bothering you?"

"Remember when Tyler kidnapped me and…"

"Please tell me you're not going to lecture me again about how I shouldn't have attacked Elijah." he interrupted me with a groan of displeasure.

"I'm not, but your brother didn't deserve this. Even if he was talking some shit about you. You knew I would never believe it."

"You wouldn't?"

"Of course not. You always try to protect your family, not always in a good way, I have to admit, but still, I know you would never use your own child for your games. I trust you." he tightened his grip on me and cleared his throat.

"It's good to know you're at least on my side, love."

"Your siblings too. If you'd just let them in, maybe you'd see it too, but that's a topic for another time."

"I know better ways to spend my free time with you, love. One of them brought us to this situation." he smiled slyly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Very funny, but we have to talk about something serious."

"I'm sorry. What are you thinking about?"

"Have you ever thought about whether there is a chance for our child to be… a tribrid?"

"Tribrid?" he asked, confused, stopping to play with my hair.

"You know. You're half vampire, half werewolf; I'm a witch, siphon, but still… Can our baby inherit all of this from us?"

"They might as well only have the gene of a werewolf, a witch, a vampire, or a hybrid. I think all options are possible. Maybe in my mother's grimoire we can find the answer to that question. These books are as old as the world."

"You can include the birth of a miracle baby in your search. I hope we won't summon a demon into the world." I joked, turning slightly to look at his face again.

"I thought you already knew that the demon has been walking around this world for a long time, and you're cuddling with him on the couch. By the way, it's our search."

"Our? You seriously want to just give me access to your mother's precious books? The same ones that have so much knowledge inside them that you won't let any other witch see them whole, or even your siblings?" I was shocked. I would never in my life expect something like this from him, but on the other hand, he has done astonishing things many times before.

"You're different."

"Like how?"

"I trust you."

"You did?" I whispered after a few seconds of silence. Those words were more striking than three others of equal importance he might have said to me. Klaus doesn't trust people that easily, I think he falls in love with them more often…

"You wouldn't be the first to hear about all my plans if I didn't. Besides, you're the mother of my heir..."

"Keep treating your family like a fucking dynasty, and you'll have to buy me a crown and my own castle." I cut him off when I heard that horrible term for our baby.

"Why do you need a castle when you already have your throne, love?"

"You're impossible." I chuckled at this awful attempt at flirting.

"That's why you like me."

"Maybe." I yawned suddenly, unaware of how tired I was. I felt the hybrid's soft, warm lips against my hair before both the blanket cocoon and his grip tightened around me.

"Sleep. I'll stay with you and I will chase away your nightmares."

"How did you know?" I asked, feeling him gently brush away the strands of hair that had fallen over my eyes.

"I know you. Besides, I can hear everything through these thin walls. I would rather hear your screams for other reasons than nightmares."

"Deviant."

"Only yours." I heard as if through a haze before falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

The next day, Katherine found us sleeping together and took a picture of us. One of my favorites.

Before I could answer the phone, I felt someone snatch it from my hand, and something hit my head at breakneck speed, knocking me out. Stupid witches.

~•♤♤♤•~

~A few hours later~

I was kneeling in front of the crib that Katherine and Rebekah had set up after the whole witches' fiasco. After those damn witches kidnapped me, they cast some strange spell on me and the baby to speed up her (as it turned out) growth and thus her birth.

A few hours ago, I was a human pregnant with a hybrid. Now I was a heretic, the mother of the thyrbid, the most powerful creature on earth.

I guess life with the Mikaelsons was all about sudden, unexpected changes. At least they weren't boring.

Elijah, Kol, Klaus, and Marcel were running around the city, killing the last witches who had allied with Esther. Rebekah and Katherine have been delegated to look after me and the baby until the boys get the hang of the situation. A bit sexist, but I didn't have the energy to argue about it. Not after I so impressively returned to the graveyard and killed half the coven.

After feeding on the blood from the bag, the girls gave me a moment alone with my sleeping daughter. Her first day in this world, and she was already trying to get killed.

"Y/N." Klaus' tired sigh snapped me out of my thoughts. For the first time in hours, I shifted my gaze to something other than my daughter and met a face as tired and bloodstained as mine.

"Hi." he knelt uncertainly beside me, glancing at the baby sleeping in the cradle.

"She is beautiful. So similar to you." he whispered softly, afraid he would wake her up at any moment.

"She has a look of the devil in her eyes. That's all you."

The girl stirred in her sleep, as if hearing us talk about her. Two loving, child-infatuated looks appeared on Klaus' and mine's faces.

"She needs a name. You made a decision?"

"I was thinking about Zoe and Caitlyn. But I think we both know that Katherine Jr. is the best fit for her."

"God no." I chuckled, trying not to wake the baby after seeing his terrified look..

"Got a counterproposal?"

"Hope."

"Hope. That's actually nice. Hope Mikaelson."

"Mikaelson?"

"What? Are you not the father?" I asked teasingly.

"I'm but... I thought you'd want her to have your last name."

"Mikaelson suits her better." I replied with a shrug.

"Well, then I guess it will be Hope Y/N Mikaelson." I smiled at him, resting my head tiredly on his shoulder. We both stared in awe at the new member of the Mikaelson family.

"How did you come to that? Hope?"

"With Elijah's little help. When I found you… dead. Elijah said that I ruined our family's last hope by making out with this bartender, which, by the way, is not exactly true."

"Klaus..."

"No. Let me finish. I've never been so helpless and scared in all my life as I was a few hours ago. Never, not even in the worst, darkest moments of my life, have I been so broken, so despairing, than when I held your dead body. Whatever you think now, whatever you feel, the truth has to be told. I love you. I've loved you since the first time I saw you, and each day only brings me closer to you. You're the only one who can make me so mad, terrified, or happy. You taught me unconditional love, and even if you don't share my feelings, I want you to know that you completely changed me. It will be my life's purpose to make sure that our daughter and you are safe and satisfied." I stared at him with tears in my eyes, listening to his touching confession.

"I was so mad at you and Camille, but... I can't blame her; falling for you is as easy as breathing. Not when I did it a long time ago."

"You did?"

"Yes. And I don't want to hide it anymore. I can't hide it anymore. As I turned into vampire, everything I feel for you since all this time is more intensive. My desires, my love, and my longing - I feel them so much that I can't even imagine spending one more hour without your words, touch, or kiss. I don't want to live in a world where we're just friends. So if you promise that this is forever, then I..."

Klaus cut me off, pulling me into a longing, long-expected, passionate kiss. I moaned into his mouth, pulling him as close as possible by the strands of his hair. At one point, I bit his lip until it bled. My new ability was immediately activated. My fangs slid out of my gums by themselves, digging into his lip and sucking more of his delicious, sweet blood. We broke apart when we were completely out of breath. Klaus licked his lips, staring lustfully at my black-veined face and bloody mouth.

"I promise. You're mine. For always and forever, love."

"And you're mine. For always and forever."

"Aw... Congratulations, Nik! It only took you one child to make her yours. I thought it would take you at least three." Kol suddenly appeared in the doorway, interrupting our moment.

Klaus growled at him and threw the baby monitor at his brother. Kol dodged at the last second and tossed the device back at him, sticking out his tongue before he ran as fast as his legs could take him. I giggled, drawing the hybrid into a tender kiss.

Yeah, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

[thematchlessartist]

[SPOILERS FOR LIGHT NOVELS] i don't think Kunikida was ever okay

so i was rereading the light novels and... yeah i don't think Kunikida's okay. bear in mind that these were either set before the start of the anime or were set before the end of season 1, so things such as walking alone, cannibalism arc and decay of angels arc had NOT happened yet (stressing this point as much as possible). i've also included roughly when in the BSD timeline the light novels were set and which pages i found the information on.

LN1 (s1e6 and s1e7 - azure messenger arc)

is absolutely terrified of the dark - i'm specifying the dark here instead of ghosts, which he specifically mentions in the anime, because he says he doesn't believe in them. but all the same, he's definitely not (keep telling yourself that, honey) shaking and crying (pages 24 and 25)

even at age twenty is willing to let himself die to save the other hostages - it says in the light novel that he is in fact suffering the effects of the poison gas, and still tries to save them despite Dazai and Sasaki stopping him (page 29)

made sure he still wouldn't have been able to kill Dazai - despite holding Fukuzawa's orders in high regard they would go against his ideals, which is why he never brought the real gun with him (pages 76-78)

the entire ending, pretty much - he had to watch both Sasaki, who he cared about, and Rokuzou, who he raised like his own son, die. he couldn't understand that there was no other way to do things, but since we don't know how his ideal came to be (seriously, Asagiri? nothing at all besides a couple vague suggestions?) we can't exactly push this point much (pages 95-101)

LN3 (set between s1e1 and s1e2 - where the Agency are planning Atsushi's entrance exam)

has what can only be described as a panic attack at the mention of a bomb threat (pages 4 and 5)

starts describing increasingly dark and oddly specific methods of torture to use on Dazai, whilst panicking and trying to attack something that isn't there (pages 16 and 17)

Kunikida and Katai's Brilliant Days (set around s1e6 - first part of azure messenger arc, but by this point Kunikida had not watched Sasaki and Rokuzou die)

sounds terrified at the thought of being called useless (page 5)

anyway that's all i got for now, will update if i think of anything else