#i think more people should support manchester bands

[frootyrooties]

now wait a minute, i read recently that there are rumours of a possible oasis tour this year. if this becomes a reality, i’m gonna lose it. this is making me think back to the days when i was constantly pining for that damn Liam Gallagher. for goodness sake, he was like my Eric Stewart before i even knew about 10cc.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)

Fan Stories

“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman

“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine

“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin

“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.

As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert

“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.

When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield

Part-1

(x)

[paradisobound]

Starstruck

Summary: Phil attends all of Dan Howell’s concerts. In fact, he makes it a rule to even record every one he goes to. You could say he was in love with Dan Howell and in fact, that wouldn’t be a lie because he’s actually Dan’s fiancé. Too bad Dan’s fans see him as the creepy guy at Dan’s concerts. 

Warnings: A brief mention of sex but not explicit. 

Word Count: 3.6k 

Genre: Famous singer!Dan and present!phil 

A/N: I thought of this fic after finding out Sophie Turner attends a lot of the Jonas Brother’s Concerts because of Joe and I thought it would be cute to write a fic with a slightly different side! Happy reading :) 

**Read on Ao3**

“Dan Howell we love you!” 

“Dan! Dan! Dan!” 

Phil groaned as looked through the screen of his phone at the video recording of his fiancé up on stage. That was one thing Dan did make Phil promise to do if Phil was going to be attending every concert on his tour: record each show. 

So, Phil, being the best fiancé he could be, made a bunch of storage onto an old iPhone he found laying around their flat and proceeded to record and attend each show on Dan’s United States Tour. Tonight, they were in some place called Buffalo and Phil couldn’t really make out what was even going on here besides the fact that Canada and Niagara Falls was literally on the other side of the city. 

It was night 13 and although Phil knew Dan would never admit it, Dan was tired. Phil could tell on the screen as his body lagged a bit more than it did in rehearsals and his singing was a bit off key. Not like any of the screaming girls and boys could tell the difference but Phil had been to enough rehearsals and shows to tell with Dan was struggling a bit with his energy. 

But, it was the last song before the encore. Phil’s phone battery was struggling to hold on and his arm was getting a bit tired holding it as steady as he could for Dan’s big ‘project’ that he wants the footage for. 

“Remember that the footage has to be usable, Phil. That means I don’t want your shaky arm trying to focus on me.” 

Phil laughed in his head as he replayed Dan’s words to him the night Phil told him he was attending each show and Dan told him about his master plans—which were also a secret…to Phil anyway. Phil hadn’t pushed the matter when Dan had made it clear he didn’t want to tell anyone his plan so Phil had just went along with it. Although he does in a way wish he could know why he’s getting an arm ache every night. 

The music to Dan’s final song cuts out and everyone starts cheering. Dan’s smiling, Phil’s smiling back, knowing Dan can’t see him but he can feel it, and everything has gone perfectly once again for another night. 

Dan walks off the stage and the band continues to play and Phil sees a few people begin to trickle out from the corner of his eye but he just shrugs it off as people wanting to leave early or wanting to beat the crowd. He tries not to feel a little bit hurt when he sees some people leave the show early even though an irrational part of his brain wants people to stay and see what his fiancé is doing on the stage. 

Its radio silent in the stadium. Phil is still shocked that Dan managed to sell out a nearly 40,000 person stadium but he has. Just as people look defeated and ready to leave, Dan comes back out in an entirely new outfit and the whistles and cheers begin again. 

Dan’s final two songs are Phil’s favorite. But that’s honestly because they’re about him. If people didn’t know the meaning of Dan’s songs, they would think they were about a childhood love or even a teenage love that blossomed into more. They wouldn’t know that they, quite literally, told the world about his and Phil’s long-term relationship. 

As Dan belted out the lyrics about blue eyes and raven hair, Phil felt the hair on his arm prickle up a bit and goosebumps form. He always gets chills. He remembers when Dan first wrote the pieces and read the lyrics to Phil. Phil had cried so hard and just held Dan close as Dan just giggled and kissed his cheek. 

“Why are you crying?” 

“Because they’re beautiful, Dan.” 

“Yeah, well, you’re just as beautiful too.” 

It was cheesy. Of course it was. But in the words of another Dan lyric, “it was meant to be cheesy”. 

Just as Phil’s phone gives the final battery warning, Dan’s set finally ends and a shower of sparks sprays up as confetti falls all over the floor. Phil reached out and caught a few pieces himself and pocketed them in his jean jacket. He was saving those for his own special surprise. 

Dan left the stage and the lights slowly turned on and Phil waited for the mass crowd of girls around him to dissipate before he snuck around to the stage entrance and visited Dan in the dressing room. 

Dan’s security guards knew him by face so he didn’t have to say anything when he walked behind the stage and ended up by a door that he opened to a long hallway. When he got the dressing room and saw Dan’s name on the door, he knocked once and pressed it open. 

“Hey!” 

Phil shut the door behind him as he walked in to Dan sprawled out on the couch, his arms flopped down by his side. “You did amazing tonight.”

Dan turned his head and smiled at him, his face red and a bit sweaty, his make up a bit melted. “You’d say that even if I fucked up every song.” 

Phil walked over and sat down on the other end of the couch. Dan immediately sat up and scooted towards Phil before flopping into his chest and relaxing. Phil wrapped his arm around Dan’s upper body and pulled him close, bending down and kissing the top of his head. 

Just as Dan’s body relaxed a bit further and Phil felt the rest of his muscles tense, the door opened and Dan’s manager walked in, her phone in head. “We’re going to have to leave within the hour to get on the road towards Pittsburgh.” 

Dan just nodded and smiled at her as he pulled away from Phil and stretched. He was still fully in his costume—well, it was an outfit but it was pretty costume-like too in Phil’s opinion but the sparkles and glitter sequins on the black leather covering Dan’s arms. 

“You should get dressed,” Phil says turning to Dan. “Tonight is going to be a tour bus night and I don’t feel like having you complain the entire time that your jeans are too constricting.”

Dan scoffed and reached out, slapping his arm. “That was once and you had no problem helping me get the jeans off so I don’t want to hear you complain, you twat.” 

Phil just giggled and leaned over, capturing Dan’s lips in a quick kiss. He still gets butterflies in his chest when he kisses Dan and he loves that. He loves that Dan still has the same affect on him as he did when they were teenagers, meeting for the first time in a bar in Manchester. Dan was singing for a cover band and Phil was just a lonely college student looking to have a few drinks. 

It was really like fate that they actually took each other to bed that same night but then both simultaneously decided that being together only once wasn’t going to cut it and nearly ten years and one proposal later, here they were. Phil supporting Dan on tour as Phil works from his laptop for the BBC. 

“Maybe if you’re good we can celebrate in the hotel room tomorrow night,” Dan whispers before pressing another kiss to Phil’s lips. Phil just smiles into it and kisses back one more time for good measure. 

“Hm…maybe.” 

Dan shoves Phil back with a laugh as he finally stands up and makes his way over to his suitcase in the corner that was filled with all of his stuff. Phil watched as he took off his outfit and hung it on a hanger for the crew to grab later and then put on a pair of sweatpants and Phil’s baggy York University sweatshirt. 

Phil gave that to Dan when they first started dating so when Dan went back home at night, he would still have Phil with him. Now, Phil would love to have that hoodie back but Dan quite literally growls when Phil even makes that suggestion so he lets Dan have it now. 

They grab the rest of Dan’s stuff and then make their way out the back to their tour bus and get inside with minimal people around…thankfully. They take a seat on one of the couches on the side and Dan curls up onto Phil just as Phil wraps his arms around him once more. 

They’ll go to the bedroom soon where they’ll sleep but for right now, they were just going to sit and relax for the ride. 

***

Something surprising happens when Phil wakes up the next morning, a bit disoriented as he realizes he’s on the moving bus. He checks his phone and goes on Twitter and sees that ‘Daniel Howell Live’ is still trending on Twitter. He curiously checks the hashtag because hey, if he can find some good video and good photos for PR, he’ll have Dan’s manager ask the people for permission to use them. So he scrolls a bit and he scrolls a bit more and suddenly there is a photo of him, stood at his seat, recording the show. 

Has anyone else noticed this guy is at every show??? What does a middle aged man go to all of Dan’s shows?? That’s creepy. 

After that tweet, there was a thread and apparently there was a photo of him taken at every show and he legit didn’t know about it. He, in fact, had zero idea anyone was taking his photo and he genuinely was a bit freaked out by it. 

He read a few more tweets. 

He’s been at every show I’ve gone to! I’ve noticed him! Maybe he’s a stalker of Dan…how gross. Dan’s not gay. 

Phil had to scoff at that, loud enough that Dan turned over in his sleep and settled his weight into Phil’s chest, knocking his phone slightly out of the way so his head could rest there. “What are you laughing at?” Dan asked, his sleepy voice so slurred Phil could hardly understand what he was talking about. 

“Just some tweet I read saying you weren’t gay.” 

Dan snorted and reached up, making grabby hands for Phil’s phone so Phil handed it over and Dan sat up a bit and looked at the tweets. “These are actually kind of laughable.” 

“I know.” 

“They think you’re my stalker.” Dan laughed. “Who even pays attention to whether or not someone is at a show every night?” 

Phil shrugged because he genuinely didn’t know either. 

Phil knew that fans speculated about Dan’s sexuality though. Really, it’s been a source of talk ever since Dan’s first big break a few years back when he opened up for Taylor Swift on her European Tour. But Phil also knows that Dan has made it completely clear that he wants to keep his sexuality and his relationship with Phil only for private. And Phil completely gets that. 

They’ve been out since they started dating to close friends and family. Phil’s been out to everyone he’s known since university. But Dan has always had a bit more trouble accepting his sexuality and for that, Phil understands Dan’s hesitation when he says he’s not ready to share that side of his life yet. 

But Phil loves Dan more than anything else. He loves his smile, his dimples, his laugh, and the way he insults him when they’re being silly. But he also loves the side of Dan no one sees. The side where sex and love and intimacy is involved. He even let a selfish part of himself think about that while they were in bed together the other night. A part of him that when he fucked into Dan, he thought about how no one else knew this side of Dan: this was the side that only Phil got to see. 

“Hm…” Dan says, breaking Phil’s thoughts. “It’s quite amusing to me that so many fans are so adamant to say I’m straight. Like, I think it’s actually quite obvious that I’m gay in the same way that I know it’s obvious I like dick but…” 

Phil squeaked and pushed a hand over Dan’s mouth to get him to stop that thought right there and Dan just opened his lips and licked a fat stripe over Phil’s palm that had Phil cringing and pulling his hand away. 

“You’re easy to break, ya know.” Dan says, laying his head on Phil’s chest so he can look up him. His big brown doe eyes were like pools that Phil could get lost in. 

“It’s because I love you too much.” 

Dan kisses Phil’s chest. “Mm…love you too.” 

They get off from the bus not long after to check into their hotel and put their suitcases in their room. Afterwards, it was straight to the venue to prepare and do the soundcheck and Phil was going to walk around and explore Pittsburgh a bit more, seeing as he’s never been before. 

That night, he ends up in the same floor pit that he was in the night before, like he always is, with his phone fully charged and ready to go. He sends Dan a quick ‘good luck, i love you so much’ message before he puts his phone away and takes out the one to record. 

The show goes smoothly and everyone is happy and the night ends the same way with Phil retreating back and visiting Dan just as Dan is getting out of his costume. He leaves with Dan to go to the hotel and when they get back into the room, he goes on Twitter again and happens to see the same thread but with new photos of him. 

The man was at Pittsburgh too!! Does @danielhowell know he has a stalker?? Should we contact the police? 

Phil rolled his eyes and showed Dan the tweets to which Dan replied with an eye roll and a “for fucks sake!” before he flopped onto the bed and rolled towards Phil to snuggle. 

“Gonna have to get security after me apparently,” Phil playfully jokes. 

Dan swings his leg over Phil’s hip and sits flush on his hips as he leans down and kisses Phil soundly on the mouth. “Maybe so.” He whispers with a smirk, placing his hand on Phil’s jaw. “Maybe I’ll have to tell security that a hot guy has been chasing after me since my uni days and he follows me to all of my concerts and he also happens to be my fiancé who is fucking great in bed and…yeah, I’d really like to continue the great in bed part right about now.” 

So after a quick round of sex that left them both breathless, Phil fell asleep with the thoughts in his mind about what they were supposed to do. Dan had a two day break before his show in Albany so he hopes by then maybe everyone will forget about him. 

But somehow, he fears they won’t. 

***

Dan flubs up on accident in Albany. 

Phil doesn’t realize what he’s done until the young girl sitting next to him on the floor is pointing out the silver band on Dan’s ring finger. 

It’s his engagement ring and as soon as Phil sees it, his heart stops a bit in his chest because he knows Dan is gonna have to answer for this. He’s going to have to answer for why he suddenly is wearing a ring on that finger when he never did before…well, in the public eye anyway. 

Phil proposed to Dan over three years prior but they both agreed on not planning any of their wedding until Dan’s done with his United States tour. Phil was completely fine with that but Dan wore his ring all of the time when it was just them or he was going out with friends. 

He normally keeps it safe on the bus or in the safe in the hotel room but he must have forgotten to take it off. 

And fuck other people are pointing now and he hopes to God Dan cannot notice what is happening. 

At the end of the show, Phil practically runs to Dan’s dressing room where Dan is crying softly on the couch, his face scrunched up as he struggles to hold in the tears of guilt and frustration that he can read so clearly on Dan’s face. He runs over to him and gathers him tight as Dan lets them go and apologizes to Phil for wearing it. 

“I forgot I had it on.” Dan said through strangled tears. 

“It’s okay.” 

“But it’s not!” Dan cried. “Oh my God I’ve fucked up so bad.” 

And while that turned out to not be entirely true, Phil did reassure him as much as possible that everything was going to be okay. 

***

The tabloids talk about it first. 

Dan Howell Spotted With Mystery Ring on Left Hand in Albany Show. 

That seemed to be the headline written everywhere like a slap across the face. 

All of the fangirls were crying. What women is he secretly married to? What is that ring? When did this all happen? How could this all happen? 

Phil felt like he had whiplash reading all of the comments. 

“We’re going to have to address this,” Phil says softly. 

“I know.” 

They’re sat in a hotel in Boston now, waiting for the show to begin in a few hours. They had snuck away for a private talk and everyone had let them go. They needed to discuss this, no matter how hard it could be. 

“I know you don’t want to out us…” 

“No,” Dan says, biting his lip. “I…I think I have to.” 

“You don’t have to,” Phil says. “You could always say you want to be private and…” 

“How long is that privacy really going to last, Phil?” Dan asked, his voice defeated. “Is it going to last for a year or only for an hour? People are already commenting about you and you’ve done nothing…maybe we should just come out.” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

Dan bites his lip and bit harder and then looks Phil in the eyes as he nods. “It’s what I want.” 

“Okay,” Phil says, leaning in for a kiss. “It’s what I want too.” 

Phil wanted whatever was best for Dan and if this was best, then he wanted to go along with it. 

They made their way back to the stadium and Phil opted for standing off the side of the stage instead of in the audience, just in case. He’d seen some of Dan’s earlier shows this way but never once has he seen him play such a sold out show from the sidelines. 

They concert begins as normal and Phil notices that Dan is wearing his ring again, not taking it off and he feels his heart flutter a bit. Dan does his normal songs and routines and then before they know it, the encore is starting. 

But right before it does, Dan asks if the audience can get quiet for a moment. 

“As many of you all know,” he begins into his microphone. “The next few songs I have written are about someone very special in my life. I’ve been hiding them from you for a very long time now and I really just…don’t want to anymore. They’re such a massive part of who I am today and who I will be in the future and I don’t want to continue hiding them anymore. And it’s not fair to you guys either. 

Suddenly Dan turns to where Phil is standing and Phil feels his heart give out a bit. Dan motions for Phil to walk out and Phil looks down at his black Vibes shirt and ripped jeans and feels like he’s not properly addressed for this but he starts walking out anyway and there are suddenly cheers and yells and Phil doesn’t know what’s happening. 

“Everyone, meet my fiancé Phil.” Dan says, taking Phil’s hand and standing close to him. “You all have been talking about him quite a bit online so here is my apparent stalker who is actually just my fiancé and partner for the last 1o years.” 

Dan leans over and kisses Phil on the cheek and Phil feels a bit flush at all of this. Like he doesn’t know what’s happening anymore but he also doesn’t entirely mind it. 

“Okay, now get off the stage you dork. You’re stealing my show.” 

Dan turns to Phil and wraps a hug around him and Phil hugs him back, holding him close as he kisses Dan’s neck once and lets him go, lingering their hands touching for a bit too long as he disembarks down the stage with Dan’s security guard and stands in the audience once again, looking up at Dan with all of the love in the world. 

Social media went crazy that night, but really Phil didn’t mind. He went to the rest of the shows as promised and recorded all of them too. At the end of the tour, he finally asked Dan what the footage was for and Dan finally told him. 

“It’s for our wedding.” He says, not adding anything more. 

Phil just holds him tight and kisses his cheek some more. 

Life is going to be a bit hectic for a while, but at least he won’t be seen as the stalker fan anymore, and now he’ll be treated as Dan’s fiancé: a title he is more than proud to have. 

[couchpatch2]

Just How Much Does It Cost For A Solicitor To Write Your Will?

Will Writing Solutions

Content

Cash

Frequently Asked Will Composing Questions.

Do I Get Approved For Company Residential Or Commercial Property Alleviation?

Will Composing Solicitors.

If you are replacing an old will, you also need to state on your brand-new one that it replaces all previous versions, which ought to be ruined. Be as certain as you can around what you intend to take place as well as see to it that there are no spelling errors, specifically for any kind of recipients. last will and testament manchester follow general rules in the criterion of writing and framework in order to reduce unpredictability.

To learn more about the phrasing to use and also how to make your will legitimately legitimate, take a look at the gov.uk web site. Any person aged 18 or above can be an executor of your will, even those called as beneficiaries. Given that the task of an administrator is to carry out your desires after you have actually passed away, it is best to choose a person capable of the role but likewise someone that you trust fund. For that reason, it is common for individuals to select a partner or developed youngster. You can select one member of the family as well as one specialist, such as a lawyer or accounting professional, yet bear in mind that expert executors are most likely to charge a fee. Look around and consider whether it is worth having a person independent with expert knowledge.

As an example, several on-line services advise Mirror Wills which in our sight, are simply not suitable for the vast bulk of couples.

Once more, choosing a company whose attorneys have a more comprehensive knowledge than the straightforward matching of an A-level can aid guarantee the guidance you obtain is contextual, taking complete account of all of your circumstances.

We spoke to numerous of one of the most prominent solutions as well as none can assure that their 'certified individual' would certainly in fact be a solicitor.

It is just difficult to write a comprehensive set of inquiries that will cover each and every single scenario and after that produce a customized Will at the end.

Additionally, the term 'qualified person' used by a lot of online solutions is extremely loosened.

Using a solicitor may be less expensive than you may believe, and it indicates that you have the comfort of understanding it's been done properly. You should most definitely take into consideration using a solicitor if your household position is complicated. The person that figure out your residential or commercial property when you pass away as well as performs the guidelines in your Will is called your administrator. It can be a difficult task even if your instructions as well as your home are quite basic-- it's not uncommon for the process to take several months and the task of an executor is sometimes hard. As an example, they could have to choose when to sell your property to make sure that individuals that inherit the money from its sale get the most money. Think about exactly how you want to divide your assets between the people you've provided. You might find it useful to consider what is essential to you.

Although no-one suches as to consider dying, it can occur suddenly to any of us and in this case, not having a will may indicate that your enjoyed ones don't get the benefits from your estate. You might also have certain sentimental products that you would love to go to certain individuals, but without a will these dreams may not be recognized. Would you like to learn even more regarding our Will creating solution? Call us on or call us onlineto arrange a telephone call with our Will experts. Making a Will guarantees that when you pass away, your estate as well as affairs are managed according to your wishes.

Money

Intestacy, which is the condition of the estate of a person that passes away without having actually made a legitimate will, complies with a set of regulations put down by legislation which state exactly how the estate is to be provided if there is no will. Ensure you seek professional suggestions when composing a will, and that every one of the proper actions are taken, including having actually the will seen. For instance, if you wish to leave among your kids the "black BMW" however you later sell this car after the will has been signed, it can lead to complication and possible disputes. If you have step-children with a companion, merely stating "my kids" in your will may lead to complication and also will not automatically cover them.

Your youngsters can not assert your estate so you must consider making monetary setups-- placing inheritance in trust, for instance. You need to select trustees that will manage the trust fund in support of your children-- these could likewise be your executors. And also you will need full names as well as addresses of legal guardians and also trustees. People normally provide their partner or partner as major recipient however you need to specify who ought to obtain your estate if she or he were to pass away prior to you-- your children or grandchildren, as an example. Nevertheless, these stages can show incredibly challenging and taxing if you do not have experienced assistance. Even if your estate is small and also your will is incredibly basic, we advise looking for expert recommendations to see to it that it is lawfully binding.

It is ideal not to make use of close family members, youngsters, those that have visual issues or those that aren't with the ability of recognizing what they are experiencing. It is also vital to remember that witnesses can't be beneficiaries or companions of recipients. Typically, your estate will cover any estate tax owing to HM Revenue & Customs, however you can stipulate in your will that whoever you are leaving a property or residential property to must be in charge of paying. Below at Perrys, we have a highly-qualified as well as recognized group of accountants with a lot of experience in probate and also estate tax problems. If you're thinking about creating a will, please do not wait to contact us. We'll schedule a casual, confidential preliminary conversation with a professional from one of our 7 branches in Kent or main London. Come and talk to our will lawyers in Epsom if you want to produce your will this year.

There utilized to be tax obligation benefits to making use of an optional trust as well as placing properties valued approximately the value of the nil-rate band into it. Those tax benefits are no longer so advantageous, however making use of an optional count on can protect your estate from claims by creditors or in separation negotiations or if your hubby or partner remarries. You can create a trust fund purposefully or by operation of legislation such as when you leave a present to small kids under 18 years of ages. You must consider making a Will whether you are young or old, if you have a family to care for, or if you have a property or other useful properties. This totally free layout develops a last will and also testimony where the testator leaves all his/her assets to one person after making certain gifts of money and ownerships. The formal demands for wills are set down in the lawful statute Section 9 of the Wills Act 1837, as amended by Area 17 of the Management of Justice Act 1982.

Is a post office will kit legal?

You may be tempted to try and save money by picking up a Will Kit from the Post Office. But be warned – there is a risk that a will made using a standard Will Kit may be found to be invalid. In this case, a husband and wife had both made wills using Post Office Will Kits.

Once finished, you can send this to us, or bring it with you when you meet one of our solicitors. Spouses and also children have particular entitlements from the estate of their spouses/parents.

Often Asked Will Creating Questions.

Our totally free design templates are most appropriate for less complicated estates that are valued below the IHT nil price band. One of the Internet Lawman free choice design templates should appropriate, we approximate, for around 60% of the UK population. You do not need a solicitor or Will writer to evaluate or to authorize your Will for it to be lawfully binding. The record becomes binding as an outcome of the process of authorizing it in front of 2 witnesses, not due to any kind of involvement of a lawyer.

The regulation divides the estate of a deceased right into 3 parts - the prior civil liberties; the legal civil liberties, as well as the cost-free estate. You can partially disinherit a spouse or kids, but the law places a limitation on that particular. Spouses and civil companions have the right of ius relicti or ius relictae as well as children have the right of legitim. You need to designate guardians that 'd deal with kids under 18 if both parents were to die.

Do I Qualify For Business Building Relief?

Fatality and also passing away Planning for the future Why leave a gift to Sue Ryder in your Will? Around a 3rd of our fundraised revenue comes from presents in Wills delegated us by our generous supporters. Gifts in Wills imply that even more individuals can be sustained through their most challenging times, as well as assisted to live the very best life they perhaps can.

Because of this, lots of people would be smart to choose an administrator with the suitable level of experience along with insurance coverage to protect them. Take into consideration whether you have control over where these assets will pass, or whether that is pre-determined incidentally in which you own them. Collectively owned residential property as well as checking account, for example, automatically pass to a making it through co-owner. It's critical to comprehend what you have actually obtained as well as who you wish to pass it to before you write your will. Think home, bank accounts, financial investments, shares, life policies and whether you have any kind of unique things you wish to pass anywhere particular. We will send you a letter, or if appropriate, a detailed report on your details conditions and also draft wills for you to think about, together with suggestions for adjustments where suitable. As soon as you enjoy with your wills, we will publish and send you bound copies with guidelines on how to authorize them.

For example, it might be things like seeing to it that your partner is provided for, or ensuring that your grandchildren obtain the most effective education. Things like your financial savings, any kind of home you have and any type of beneficial items - and an approximation of what they deserve. You should additionally consider any nostalgic items that you might desire certain individuals to have.

How do I make a simple will?

Writing Your Will 1. Create the initial document. Start by titling the document “Last Will and Testament" and including your full legal name and address. 2. Designate an executor. 3. Appoint a guardian. 4. Name the beneficiaries. 5. Designate the assets. 6. Ask witnesses to sign your will. 7. Store your will in a safe place.

This way when you're gone there can be no confusion or misunderstanding regarding how your estate is to be split up as well as your will carried out. You'll additionally need to select an administrator or executors of your last will and testament.

Will Creating Lawyers.

If you desire your step-children to be consisted of in your will, make certain you clearly discuss them. If you have little ones, it is necessary to think of that you wish to take care of them after you die. If you are the only enduring parent as well as you do not choose a guardian for your kids in your will, this decision could potentially go to the family members courts. Ensure this headache does not occur by naming the guardian in your will. When noting down the properties to pass onto enjoyed ones, lots of people keep in mind the substantial possessions; the automobile, your home, the watch. Very frequently, nonetheless, they neglect some of the a lot more abstract assets. Administrators bring a lawful obligation to do the work effectively, as well as can be accountable for any kind of loss arising from their failure to do so.

Basically, a will is the only certain way to make certain that your desires are fulfilled after you pass away. With a legitimate will, you can provide your money, home, ownerships as well as investments to individuals, organisations as well as triggers you value most. Heritage Wills & Estate Preparation Limited Registered in England as well as Wales No. at sixth Flooring, St Georges Home, St Georges Means, Leicester, LE1 1SH. BARREL Enrollment No. Heritage Wills & Estate Planning Limited is authorized and also controlled by the Financial Conduct Authority for credit report broking activities just (see FCA Register at FCA Number ). The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate will creating or estate preparation services. By writing your own Will, you make the procedure of resolving your estate less expensive and also much faster. By reducing the quantity spent on legal fees, you can shield the value of your estate that is to be passed on to your beneficiaries.

Whilst the legislation bordering Wills as well as inheritance may be complex, the procedure of completing a Will shouldn't be. Heritage Wills & Estate Planning have a range of ways to make contact with us, either by email, message or telephone, and in some situations we even supply the solution of seeing you in your own house. As soon as you have actually given all the info we need, we will draft your Will, leaving you to simply check over the file and also indication. This guide would certainly reveal you just how to choose them, produce a checklist as well as write a Will. In In The Event Of Death, you additionally discover what to do in different situations - the in-depth treatments for each circumstance of death. In the last phase, you have an exceptional resource overview on the kinds available for various estate planning as well as Wills functions. You can leave it with a professional will storage space firm (Beyond includes will storage space with our ₤ 10 membership strategy), or with a close friend or member of the family.

Without a Will, your properties will be controlled by the state as well as may not be passed on just how you would have wanted. Once you have actually taken into consideration issues, you might locate the connected set of questions form valuable to set out your wishes.

These are individuals that will guarantee your wishes, as written in your will, are carried out. This can be a great deal of work, so make sure they comprehend the duty they're taking on or consider making use of a specialist executor, such as a solicitor or Beyond's administrator service. These have the benefit of being less costly (a solicitor will charge ₤ 200- ₤ 600 for a single will, compared to ₤ 90 for a will on Beyond), however not all will creating services are developed equivalent. On Beyond, we offer real-time assistance and also examine every will that is developed through us, so we can assist you avoid making any type of blunders that might make your will invalid. Planning ahead for your funeral service Thinking of and also intending your funeral can really feel extremely hard, and also some individuals choose not to review it.

As an example, Carbon monoxide op lawful services deals will creating solutions from ₤ 90 for a Living Will, from ₤ 150 for a Solitary Will, ₤ 245 for Mirror Wills and also a taken care of charge Lasting Power of Lawyer starts from ₤ 270. Keep in mind that our cost-free design templates do not consist of provisions that seek to minimise tax obligation. If this is necessary to you, you should take a look at the various other Web Lawman last Will and also testament layouts, a number of which cover standard IHT planning. If the worth of your estate can go beyond the nil rate band (₤ 325,000 for a private in 2020/21), then we suggest that you seek advice from a qualified tax obligation specialist before signing your Will. The reason that most people don't compose a Will is the financial price of doing so.

Few Will authors are totally legally certified, so if you do use a Will-writing solution, it is best to inspect that they belong to the Institute of Professional Willwriters or Society of Willwriters. The even more complicated your financial events, the much more reasonable it is to listen from a solicitor.

When Should You Use A Solicitor To Prepare A Will?

Getting proper legal advice can set you back a number of hundred extra pounds, yet it does suggest that you can be fairly certain your will stands as well as the people you wish to profit do. Financial institutions as well as several lawful companies also provide guidance and also will-writing solutions. Expert will writers as well as solicitors can all help, however typically expense. Your will is a legal paper which lets you decide what occurs to your cash, home and possessions after your death. The very name Will assumes the person making and signing it is doing so by their own intentional as well as considered choice. Hence, if that can be shown not to be so, after that the will can be struck down. However if 30-day trial aggrieved family member intends to challenge, he should do so in court, and verify by clear proof that the will is not legitimate, and that is a high hillside to climb up.

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 5 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 10.3k

A/N: Just want to say a huge thank you to @dot-writes and @murderousginger for the help you both gave me on this part. Literally couldn’t have done it without you so thank you very much. I do really really appreciate it. Hope you all enjoy the new part and are liking where the series is going its been fun to play about with this series and I’m looking forward to the next 5 parts. Love you all and thanks again for reading x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO | 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The whole weekend seemed to fly by so fast. You felt think the whole weekend had been put on fast forward because you didn’t get a moment to yourself all weekend.

If it wasn’t Matty taking up your time, it was the gossiping between you, Ava, and Stacy. You literally hadn’t stopped chatting about the boys all weekend and the juicy stuff that you found out about Adam and Ross was making you squeal.

They obviously made you give them the gossip on Matty, and you spared no expense. You told them everything they wanted to know. You’d been getting up to some kinky stuff again but that wasn’t really a surprise to anyone.

What was a surprise though was the fact that Matty had learned some new tricks that consumed your mind practically all the time you were around him. Every time he did anything with his hands, he had you hypnotised and he full well knew it. It was the same with his tongue.

He would keep running it over his bottom lip and you would fully stare at him doing it. After he did it every time a smirk would appear on his face and when your eyes would travel back up to his own you could see the humour in them. By the end of the weekend you could just tell that he was doing in on purpose.

The gig at the festival on the Saturday went better than the boys or you ever expected. They literally had new fans coming up to them afterwards asking if they had any CD’s or any mercy that they could buy.

They drew in a massive crowd as well, so the event organiser was pleased that he had agreed to let them headline. He even came up and thanked you for changing his mind and letting them perform.

After that you made the manager joke to George again and he apologised for not stealing your powers of persuasion earlier. The Saturday flashed by and before you knew it you were in bed again with Matty and that was how you spent a good portion of your weekend.

Just you and him doing unspeakable things to each other.

When the Sunday gig came along, they drew in a crowd for that too which the pub seemed to be thrilled by. They hadn’t expected it to be as busy as it was but the manager that you sort of knew seemed to be overjoyed.

Just before the gig she came up to them and thanked them all very genuinely for coming and performing. She told them that she hadn’t seen a crowd like it for someone performing in the bar before and that she definitely wanted them back at some point.

“She seems really nice” George said as he watched the manager go back over to the bar. 



“Yeah she is” You smiled.

“I don’t think they get big crowds in here often, so it probably means a lot to her” You said as Matty’s arm found its way back around your shoulder.

You were all sat around a large table that consisted of the band, you, Ava, Stacy, and a load of your other Uni friends. Most of them were the girls that you’d introduced them too on the Friday, but a few new ones came as well.

Your course buddy Josh caught your attention and you stood up to give him a tight hug. You loved Josh so much you literally didn’t know what you would do without him. He kept you sane.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever” You grin when you throw your arms still around him.

Josh laughed as he kept his hands on your hips. “I swear it’s only been like… four days?” He questioned.

“Exactly, that’s forever” You laugh before hugging him again and he gave you a tight squeeze before picking you up and spinning you around.

You were a giggling mess when he put you back down and you had to cling to him to make sure you didn’t fall to the ground. You were still laughing when you looked around towards your table.

Josh’s hand remained around you as you ushered him over to the table so you could introduce him to the boys.

Whilst your attention had been on Josh though you didn’t see Matty watching the exchange with unamused eyes. You were his this weekend and he didn’t like that someone else had grabbed your attention as much as the guy you were hugging was.

When Matty averted his gaze from you, he looked back to his friends and they were all giving him the same amused look. They could all see he wasn’t impressed that someone had took your attention away and he told them all to, “Shut the fuck up” which made them all start chuckling.

“Guys this is Josh. Josh this is George, Ross, Adam, and Matty” You introduce him.

“Nice to meet you gu… Wait” Josh started but then stopped causing you to look at him.

He was looking at you with wide eyes and asked you “Matty Matty?” Before looking down at Matty with a smile.

You had no doubt Matty’s face would now have a huge smirk on it and when you looked at him you were right. Matty looked like the smug prick he was.

You pushed Josh away from you with an embarrassed smile and sat yourself back down in your seat. “Fuck off” You told him shaking your head before picking up your drink and chugging it as Josh started laughing clapping his hands.

Matty’s ego seemed to get the biggest boost because then he wrapped an arm around you again and asked with a smug grin, “Been telling people about me?”

“Fuck off” You seeth through your teeth and looked back towards josh who’d just come and crouched down beside you. He had his hands on your legs to keep himself balanced and he was still chuckling.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, mate” Josh grins and Matty started laughing.

“Anything I should be worried about?” Matty asked Josh but he kept his eyes on you and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

“Nah man, you definitely did better than me” Josh told him, and you burst out laughing at that and playfully shoved Josh off balance.

“Wait…” Matty paused before he questions, “You two…?” 

You chuckled at his reaction, nodding, “Yeah”

“Don’t worry it was like three years ago” Josh informs him as he gets himself up off the floor.

“And extremely we were both extremely drunk” You added before you glance at Matty’s face and snort. “Why do you look so shocked? You’re not the only person I’ve shagged, you know?”

“I’m not. I just didn’t expect you to be best friends with one” Matty said trying to defend himself.

“We were just drunk, and it sort of happened, didn’t it?” Josh chuckled thinking back to the night.

“Yeah it didn’t go very well. Remember when I literally died afterwards” You laughed, and Josh nodded laughing.

“Yeah and we didn’t know how to act in the lecture the next day. That was the most awkward day of my life” Josh chuckled, and you laughed nodding.

“Ah well. At least we can laugh now” Josh said, and you chuckled.

“Yeah. I’ll try not to be as drunk next time” You play, and Josh winked at you.

Matty fought the urge to remove his arm from around you. He couldn’t believe that you were talking about shagging someone else as his arm was around you.

You started giggling and look back to Matty. He didn’t look impressed. 

“You don’t need to get worked up about it, I’ll still shag you later” You told him and that only made his lip twitch up a bit.

“She all yours man. Imma go and try my luck with Lizzy again” Josh told you and you suppressed a laugh. “Have a good gig guys” He waved at them all before heading back over to the other side of the room.

After that Matty made it his mission to have you hang on to his every movement whilst you were sat next to him and whilst he performed. He knew how to play you and you were a sucker for him.

As he watched you from the stage, he found it difficult not to get excited as all the dirty things about how innocent you looked ran through his mind. You were watching him with your lip between your teeth and you kept your eyes on his body instead of his face.

He especially liked it when he thrusted into the crowd and you almost spat your drink out. He smirked at you and you pursed your lips watching the grin on his face.

That gig was possibly your favourite. It was an awesome way to close off a great weekend. A massive crowd supporting them and more really good sex when you got back to your flat.

You couldn’t ask for much more really.

On the Monday you were hesitant to see them go. You’d had such a good weekend and weren’t really ready for them to be going back.

But midday on the Monday you had to show your boys out. You went down to the car park with them and helped them carry their stuff music gear out.

And once they were all packed up, they all proceeded to hug you and say their goodbyes. George obviously got to you first and gave you a massive bear hug which you eagerly returned.

“Imma miss you” He said as you hugged yourself into his chest.

You chuckled and said “Imma miss you too… And you call me whenever you want. I’m never doing anything, and I’ve pretty much finished everything”

George reluctantly agreed that he would, and you moved on to hug Adam then Ross. When Ross let you go, he smiled down at you, “I’ll probably see you again in the next fortnight”

To say your face lit up would be an understatement. You were beyond happy. Over the weekend you’d seen Ross and Ava actually getting along with each other and chatting throughout the day so you had hope that there would be a spark there.

And the fact that he was coming back signified that there was one, so you were really happy for them. And you were happy you could see Ross more often than normal too.

“I’m so happy” You grin before giving him another hug.

And then there was only Matty left. His arms went around your waist and he pulled you into him. You thought it was going to be for a hug but no he kissed you.

As soon as his lips were on yours you didn’t want him to go. It had been great having him back and you loved the banter between you. It really was a shame you were in Leeds and he was in Manchester.

You felt his arms tighten around your waist as the kiss continued and you practically melted into him. The moment was definitely savoured but the both of you as you knew it wouldn’t be happening again for a while at least.

When you pulled away, he felt his arms around you and yours rested on his chest. You smiled at him whilst you looked into his brown eyes and he grinned back, “So, we starting this back up when you get back home?”

You grinned but attempted to keep your cool, “Maybe. Depends if I’m ready to settle down or not”

“So imma take that as a yes” Matty smiled and you rolled your eyes in jest. 

“Okay” 

When you said that Matty grinned at you and hugged you towards him for a hug. Your arms went around his neck and gave him a tight squeeze before letting him go.

“Let me know when you get back” Matty told you as he let go of you and headed back to the car.

You chuckled, “Shall do” and watched as he got in one of the two cars they brought. As they set off, they all waved at you and you started waving back.

George rolled down the passenger window and hung out of it screaming, “Bye” at you and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling as you waved them off. 

Just as they were leaving you turned back to go back into your building and shook your head thinking of your crazy friends from back home.

~*~*~*~*~*~

2 months later, you’re in the middle of Wilmslow walking back home from the train station. You’d just about got back after doing a little bit of shopping in Manchester and planned to do fuck all with the rest of your day. That was until you saw one of your favourite people.

“George” You called. 

You noticed that he was walking slightly ahead of you with Jess.

He turn around and search for the voice that called him and when his eyes  fixed on you, a grin appeared on his face.

You smiled and waved at him and he waved you over to them. You walked towards him and he extended his arms out towards you.

You walked into them and gave him a quick hug. It was the middle of July now and you’d been home since the middle of June.

You’d brought all your stuff back from Leeds and only went back over once for your graduation a few weeks ago. But you hadn’t seen any of the band since which was a mild disappointment to you.

Once you let go of George you said your hellos to Jess and gave her a hug. You’d hadn’t seen her since before Christmas when you were at George’ studio with the boys and her a week after the first gig that you came to.

From what you could remember it was a really nice night and you got on really well with her.

“What are you doing out?” George asked curiously.

“I’ve just been shopping, just got back from Manchester. What about you?” You question them both with a smile.

“We’re just meeting the other lads in the pub for a pint” George told you taking a hold of Jess’ hand again. This made you smile, and you so desperately wanted that for yourself.

“Ah right nice one” You grin as you switch your shopping bags to your other hand because your other one was growing colder by the second because the blood couldn’t get to it.

“You should come join us. I could use the company” Jess says, making you smile. 



George looks down at Jess and possessively says, “She’s my friend you know” 

“Oh, I'm sorry can’t she be my friend too?” Jess asks, her gaze meeting his with raised eyebrows challenging him.

You smile at the situation and joke, “Don’t fight, there’s enough for me to go around” 

But then you start to feel like you’d be intruding. That and you really weren’t dressed to be out drinking, you looked a mess.

“But I should be getting home I don’t want to intrude on your afternoon” You start but then both their faces fall.

“No please come, I really can’t stand being there by myself with them lot. You know what they are like.” Jess pleads, “I can only handle them all on my own for so long” 

“Come on Y/N, I’ll get you a drink” George grinned, and you gave in.

“Only if you’re paying George” You chuckled, and you all started walking in the direction of the only fun place in Wilmslow.

There wasn’t really much around other than the cinema and the shops. So when you were all younger, you would descend onto this bar as soon as someone was 18. It was like a tradition at that point.

You hadn’t been in for years but when you got there it looked exactly the same. A load of memories flooded back to you about the whole place and you smiled at the thought. You really had missed home.

As you walked further into the bar, you saw the group sat around a large booth. In the booth was Ross, Adam, Matty and a girl you vaguely recognised.

From what you could remember she was nice, and it seemed like Matty had taken a liking to her because his arm was around her shoulder. You weren’t really shocked by it because after all it was Matty.

George and Jess got to the table first and George announced, “We picked up a stray on our way here”

You smiled at his comment and you saw the others look towards you. You saw Matty’s face look from the girl next to up to you and you saw his face turn from a smile into a sheepish grin. As if he’d done something wrong.

You were slightly confused by his reaction, but you elected to just send him a confused look before your attention diverted to Ross and Adam and a smile came to your face.

“Hey” Ross greets you with a smile, whilst shuffling round the table to let George and Jess in.

Adam followed his actions whilst asking, “Are you alright? Haven’t seen you in ages”

You smiled at him and sat down next to the girl Matty’s arm was around as it was the only seat available. You placed your bags on the floor and said, “Yeah I’m great thank you, are you guys okay?”

“Fantastic now I have a pint” Ross said before taking a sip.

You laughed at that and then asked Jess and George if they wanted a drink as the others seemed to have full drinks.

“Nah its fine I’ll grab them, what do you want?” George asked you, keeping himself stood up.

“It’s fine George, I don’t mind getting it. I was only joking” You tell him.

“It’s payday so shut up. What do you want?” He asked standing by the table waiting for your drink order.

“Dark Fruits please” You looked up to him graciously.

“Okay, be back in a minute” George announced before leaning down to Jess and kissing her on the cheek quickly before heading to the bar.

Your heart actually melted at the interaction and you wanted that for yourself desperately. You waited a moment as George walked away before you cooed, “That was the cutest shit I’ve ever seen”

Jess giggled at your comment and you couldn’t help but be honest and neither could the girl who was sat next to you. “You both really are the cutest” The familiar girl agreed, and you nodded along.

“Stop it” Jess blushed and both you and the girl laughed.

You turned to her and finally remembered that she was that it was Charlotte, a girl who you vaguely recognised from high school. “How are you doing Charlotte? I’ve not seen you in like four years”

She looked at you and noticed that something seemed to click in her eyes about who you were. 

“Oh my god. Y/N?” She asked and you nodded at her trying to hold back your laugh.

“I’m great thanks. You look amazing by the way!” She expressed with wide eyes.

You let out a little laugh and looked down at yourself. She was clearly talking about your weight-loss over the years because you currently looked like a tramp compared how you usually dressed.

You were wearing dark grey joggers with an oversized black t-shirt that was hanging off your shoulder letting your bra strap show through. You chuckled, “You should see me on a good day”

She chuckled at that and then thankfully George brought you drinks over. You thanked him as he placed it down in front of you and you quickly took a big gulp of it.

“So, Y/N/N, what are you up to now your free from education?” George asked, before taking a sip of his own drink.

“Nothing really. I’ve literally just been enjoying my freedom” You smile.

Ross asked, “Have you found a job or anything yet? You said you were looking around here, right?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I managed to get a job at school” You told him with a smile.

“As in our high school?” Adam asked.

You nodded, “Yeah. I’m starting in September. Helping out with the councillor and the student welfare stuff”

“That’s amazing, well done” George said, and Jess also congratulated you.

“Can’t believe you’re going back to school” Adam grinned.

“I’m literally doing it for the holidays. Can’t wait to be paid for loads of holidays throughout the year” You joked and a few around the table laughed.

The conversation moved on and you were having a really nice afternoon with them. You felt like you hadn’t seen them in ages, and you weren’t surprised. You hadn’t actually seen them since they had all come to Leeds for the weekend.

You’d seen Ross the odd time he came back over to see Ava and you started questioning why you didn’t go for Ross instead of Matty. Ross was boyfriend material. Matty, however, was fuck boy material.

You’d only seen Matty once afterward they all came down for the gigs and that was a weird night. He’d randomly showed up at your flat practically banging the door down at 1am. You answered it scared shitless because you were the only one left in your flat and when you let him in, he practically dragged you to your bedroom.

You never got an explanation for it and when you woke up the next morning he was nowhere to be found. You would have thought you’d dreamt it all if it hadn’t been for the black hoodie that was left in the morning.

You decided not to make a big deal about it and didn’t even question him about it over text, you just let it be. And the fact that you didn’t hear anything when you came home you thought that he wasn’t interested anymore or that he’d found someone.

Which he clearly had, and you didn’t mind. In fact, you were happy for him. Or you were, until you found out some information.

“So how long have you guys been seeing each other then?” You turned to Charlotte and asked her.

You watched as she leant into him a bit more and you smiled at the interaction. She looked happy and Matty looking good in himself too.

“Since the middle of March, wasn’t it? So that’s like four months now” She told you and you had to force yourself to smile.

“Oh right, that’s nice” You said, but you were fucking fuming. 

You couldn’t believe that you’d done it again. You’d again been unknowingly a part of someone cheating on who they were seeing.

You looked from Charlotte around to the other boys. Matty was conveniently hiding behind Charlottes figure. Ross and Adam looked like they didn’t want to be there and when your eyes connected with George’s, his lips were pressed together, and he looked sheepish.

“You guys didn’t mention when you came to Leeds” You said in a very knowing tone but not for Charlotte to pick up on.

You watched as everyone then took an awkward sip of their drinks and nursed it for a while to avoid your question. 

“It was pretty fresh then wasn’t it? So, they probably forgot” Charlotte said trying to defend them.

“Yeah I’m sure it was a complete accident” You seethe before taking a sip of your own drink to stop yourself from getting annoyed. You didn’t want to be annoyed at the boys. You really liked them, so you tried your best to get over it.

You quickly brushed it off and after a few minutes you were carrying on like you knew nothing. You didn’t want to make it obvious for Charlotte’s sake, so you just put it past you.

And you were having a really good time. Catching up with them was always fun and so was hanging out with them.

However, you kept feeling Matty’s fingers trail up and down your arm. At first you thought that he must have been doing it by accident because his arm was over Charlottes shoulder.

But when you moved away his fingers found your arm again. You couldn’t believe it. He was literally sat with his arm around the girl he’s been seeing for 4 months apparently but was also teasing you.

You wanted to out him and tell him to stop but in front of Charlotte it would have been a bigger drama than you could handle right now. You moved away from him again and kept yourself at a distance so he couldn’t do it again.

Eventually you moved to the other side of the booth because he kept finding you some way or another. But then you moved across the table to ensure he would leave you alone.

However, the annoying twat started dragging his foot up and down your leg in an attempt to tease you. After a while you kicked him in the shin to get him to stop and you sent him a glare. He sent you a death glare back and you smiled because you knew you’d hurt him.

But whatever you did, he wouldn’t stop messing with you. You knew what he was doing. He was taunting you.

Everything he did caused you to focus on him. Each time you would glance his way and he would do something else that drew you in even more.

He kept moving his hands which was a part of him he knew you really liked. He knew from his gigs that you would focus on his hands playing the guitar and he knew you liked what he did with them when it was just the two of you alone.  

He would also bite his lip which drove you up the wall because you knew he was doing it to make you look at them. They looked so incredibly pillowy and pink you wanted nothing more than them to be on yours.

You mostly hated the way his mouth would hang open just enough for you to be able to see his tongue moving around his mouth. What was worse was the fact that he knew you were looking. Especially when he ran his tongue over his teeth.  

He caught you multiple times but that didn’t stop you from looking. If anything, you wanted him to have his arm around you again like he did back in Leeds.

You liked to be held in a secure grip and you liked that he knew how to play you. At the same time though, it really drove you up the wall. When all you really wanted was to be slammed against it. But your morals wouldn’t let you.

You were still annoyed that he’d used you back in Leeds when he had Charlotte here. Birthday or not, it shouldn’t have given him the excuse.

George dragged you outside to have a fag with him and Matty you reluctantly went out with them. You listened to them chat about a load of bullshit that wasn’t at all relevant and you didn’t need to listen to it. You just think George wanted you outside with him because he’d missed you.

George finished his fag first and headed back inside and you went to follow him. However, Matty hadn’t finished yet and caught you by your hand to keep you outside.

You took a step back to him but moved yourself out of his grip. 

“What?” You questioned him, not knowing what he wanted.

“I’m not done yet” He said blowing smoke out of his mouth and gesturing to the 1/4 of the cigarette he had left.

“And you need me why?” You bluntly asked.

“Company” Matty shrugged, as if it was obvious.

“Why didn’t you ask Charlotte?” You asked.

This seemed to humour Matty as his eyes brightened and he asked, “You jealous?”

“No, I’m not jealous. You’re with her so stop fucking touching me Matty. You can’t have it your way all the fucking time” You said in an annoyed tone.

You turned back to go inside but Matty grabbed your arm again pulling you back round to face him. You sent a glare at him when your eyes connected with his again.

“Y/N, come on” He said with a smirk, but you’d had enough.

“No,” You said firmly. “You are with her Matty and have been for four months apparently”

“It’s just sex” He said, like that made the situation any better.

“Yeah and she seems to think it’s exclusive sex but from both times you came to Leeds, it’s apparently not for you” You state, feeling like you were explaining a difficult situation to a child.

“Just stick to her Matty. I told you in Leeds I’m not fucking about anymore. So, keep your hands to yourself and leave me the fuck alone” You shake your head before storming back inside.

Thankfully you were able to take your seat in between Ross and Adam again before Matty sat back down a minute later. You both continued on like nothing had been said between you and you chatted like that for another half hour before Matty and Charlotte disappeared off somewhere.

You didn’t care though; in fact, you were quite relieved. At least you didn’t have to worry about him hitting on you when he wasn’t near you. After a conversation about nothing in particular you excused yourself and went to the bathroom.

You got yourself up and quickly went to the toilets, so you didn’t miss out on any conversation.  However, just as you were about to walk into a stall, you heard groaning from inside the one next to it. It sounded like a girl gasping for relief and your eyes widened at the realisation of what was happening.

You’d wondered why Matty and Charlotte had been gone so long. You didn’t expect her to be getting head in the bathroom.

You hastily turned around and headed back to your seat. Obviously trying not to look completely mortified.

Thankfully, no one seemed to notice, and the conversation flowed normally with the other boys. You forgot how much you’d missed them the past few months and you were so thankful that you were back, and you could see them more now.

You excused yourself to get yourself, George and Jess another drink at the bar and whilst you were there a cute guy started talking to you. He had hair like Ross’ and was really cute.

He was clean shaven though, but he had cute brown eyes. By the cute guy alone you were extremely thankful you decided to come to the pub with George.

“What’s your name by the way?” You asked him after you laughed at a joke, he just made about having to wait for drinks.

“Tom,” He smiled, asking, “And what’s your name?”

“Y/N” You introduce yourself brightly.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you Y/N. You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pick up line” Tom flirted, and you giggled at how bad the pick up line actually was.

As your laughter continued, he asked, “I’m guessing from your reaction you’ve heard that one before?”

You giggled and nodded, “Yeahhh, but it was a good try though. I’m sure you could do better”

“Oh, a challenge. Okay then, let me think…” Tom trailed off and you grinned, waiting for him to think of a better one.

“I didn’t know angels could fly so low” He said with a cheeky smile and you chuckled shaking your head at how bad it was.

Tom’s eyes widened and he excitedly tried again, “No wait, let me start again…”

Tom cleared his throat before saying, “Hi, can I follow you home? Sorry that was a bit forward, but my Mum always told me to follow my dreams”

This one made you giggle even more, and you placed a hand on his arm. 

“Cute but not very original” You told him. 

You’d heard these lines a few times and you always laughed at how cheesy they were. It was cute that he was trying though.

“Ah well, I’ll just have to think of some more” Tom smiled, and you told him that he definitely should keep them coming.

After that though the conversation moved on slightly “You guys seem to be having a good time” Tom said with a smile nodding over to your group of friends.

You looked back over and saw your little group of friends laughing and chatting away. Matty and Charlotte still hadn’t returned yet but the rest of them seemed to be having a blast.

“Yeah I’ve just finished Uni so it’s like a mini school reunion for me” You smiled looking back over to your group of friends.

“Ah right that’s nice. What did you do your degree in?” Tom asked.

“Psychology” 

“Really? That’s cool. You must be clever then” Tom smiled, and you laughed at that.

“You’d be surprised” You chuckled.

And he carried on chatting to you about Uni for a while until you got your drinks and at that point he was flirting slightly, and you loved it. You flirted back a bit, but he was actually making you nervous. In a good way though.  

You watched as he picked up a menu and started looking through it. Tom absentmindedly asked you, whilst flicking through it, “I wonder what the tastiest thing in here is?” 

You were about to say that you’d never seen the menu before, but Tom continued on to say, “Ah I found it. It’s Me-n-U”

When the words left his mouth, you let out an amused giggle. You hadn’t expected that one, so you found it quite funny despite hearing it before.

“Wow, that was the worst one yet” You laughed, and Tom chuckled putting the menu back down.

“I can’t even think of my best one... This is an embarrassing day” Tom groaned in disappointment.

“Nah don’t be embarrassed, you’re doing well” You smiled to encourage him a little bit. 

You liked that he was funny and cute, and to be fair to him he really was doing well.

He was making you nervous in the best way possible. You just didn’t want to give too much away though.

“Well as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I will get killed if my friends don’t get their drinks” Only now realising you’d been gone a little while.

“You better go then. You’re too pretty to be getting killed” He joked, and you giggled.

“You’re cute. Let me know when you think of your best pick up line” You chuckled and said over your shoulder as you headed back to the table, “See you when I come back for another drink” 

When you sat back down, and Jess and George thanked you for the drinks. And when the couple came back over you acted like you knew nothing about what you overheard in the bathroom.

You didn’t want those noises in your mind or the thought of Matty doing that, because you knew how good he was. You didn’t need to be getting flustered talking to Adam and Ross.

After about 20 minutes of you all settling back into the conversation you looked up from the table and saw that Tom was walking towards your table, looking at you with a smile.

You immediately smiled back because he was so cute. 

“Hey, you alright?” You asked him with a pleasant smile. 

You were definitely glad you were speaking to the cutie again.

“Yeah, I’ve gotta head off but I was wondering if I could get your number?” Tom asked you with a grin.

You couldn’t help but send him a very happy grin back and you said, “Course you can”

At this point everyone on the table was deadly silent and all looking at the interaction between you and Tom. However, your eyes were fixed on him, so you didn’t even see the boys faces mask into curiosity and you didn’t see the anger that came to Matty’s face.

“We could go out for drinks or something if you want?” Tom asked confidently as you put your number in his phone and you loved it.

His confidence to come up to you in front of this group of people in particular was very attractive to you. Not many guys would ask a girl that in front of anyone, let alone a table full of her friends.

“I’d love that” You told him with a grin as you handed him his phone back, leaving the contact up.

“Awesome” He smiled brushing hands with yours as you gave it him.

“Oh, I thought of that line by the way…” Tom added, and you smiled brightly.

“Go on then” You said not being able to contain your smile. 

You definitely looked like the Cheshire cat you’d been smiling so much now.

“Okay, so I might not go down in history for being the guy with the best pick up lines, but I’ll go down on you” Tom flirts with a cheeky grin and a wink.

At that you let out a choked breath as your jaw practically dropped to the ground. You heard a gasp from the table and a few chuckles from the guys around you, but you couldn’t take your eyes off Tom.

“Holy shit, please do” You gasped before you could stop yourself. 

You felt hot and flustered and you literally wanted him to take you home there and then.

Tom let out a laugh at your reaction and chucked, “I’ll see you soon Y/N”

“I really hope so” You shouted back to him as he’d turned around to leave. 

You saw him turn back and smile at you and you couldn’t stop grinning.

You bit your lip as you watched him leave, admiring your view and you forgot where you were for a split second. You felt that your cheeks were hot, and you wanted to squeal.

You turned to look at the table and you put a hand over your mouth. You said through your fingers, “I’ve never been so turned on in my life” and the girls laughed at you when you said that.

Your jaw was still on the floor. You bit your lip to try and get a bit of self-respect back.

Jess laughed, “Go Y/N, he’s fucking fit”

“I know” You grinned at her and bit your tongue.

Ross let out a laugh and nudged you “You’ve gone all flustered”

You put your hands to your face still smiling trying to hide your embarrassment.

 “Ahh stop it” You chuckled and started fanning your face with your hands.

“He’s not that fit” Matty states and you sent him a look of disbelief. 

Tom was the best-looking guy you’d seen in Wilmslow for a long time.  

“He is” Charlotte corrects him, looking to Matty like he was stupid.

Matty shook his head. He was having none of it.

 “Nah. He looks like Ross”

“Yeah… And Ross is fucking fit” You said without a glimmer of hesitation.

Matty shook his head at you not believing you. “And when have you ever said that?” He asked pulling a face.

“Not that I’d tell you about, it but I’ve said you were all fit for years” You said shaking your head at him like he was stupid.

“But not George... George is my brother” You said before grinning at him.

Jess started giggling at that and George shook his head at you. “It’s lucky you finished that sentence, or you’d be getting a slap” He said, and you sent him a dirty look.

“You could try and slap me Hun. Ask dickhead Adam how one of my slaps feel and let me know if you want one” You said remembering Steve’s party.

After that though, you turned to Ross and saw a shocked expression, so you giggled. “Yeah. Sorry to just spring that on you” 

“It’s alright, this is just new information” Ross chuckled still looking slightly confused.

“Yeah I should have caught you before you came to Leeds and I set you up with Ava” You said with a hint of disappointment.

“Sorry Y/N/N, you should have said earlier” Ross smiled throwing an arm around you and hugging you towards him.

“If you’d said that line to me Ross, I’d have been begging at your feet” You chuckle,d not even lying.

“Well at least I know for next time” He joked, and you laughed.

“Ah it’s okay. I’ll have to just give Ross two-point O a go” You said with a grin.

After that you stayed for probably another half an hour until you had to head home. They all politely said their goodbyes and then Jess told you to let her know if the fitty (Tom) messaged you.

You started laughing about the whole situation again and joked, “I’ll let you know if he’s good in bed when I eventually get around to that”

This caused Jess and Charlotte to laugh but George choked on his drink and Ross and Adam looked mortified that you’d just said that. Matty looked moody which wasn’t really a change when the subject came to Tom.

Each time one of the girls brought him up he would try and move away from the subject or he sat there with a moody face.

“Y/N, you’re fucking disgusting” George told you after he stopped coughing.

“Awh George. You really think that girls don’t have the same disgusting chat you guys do about sex. That’s so cute” You said before ruffling his hair.

“I’ll see you guys soon” You said to the boys and then said to Jess, “And I’ll let you know all the dirty details over text because poor George obviously hasn’t had sex before and doesn’t want to hear about it”

George flipped you off as Jess started laughing saying how she couldn’t wait. You laugh and say “Cya” before leaving and heading home.

You had to go home and make sure your house was tidy because your mum had been gone for a week and was coming back later on that night. You’d got used to just tidying at your own pace back in Leeds, but your Mum didn’t go by the same standards.

She was only back to sleep tonight because in the morning she was being flown out somewhere for work, so you’d have the house to yourself again for the rest of the week. You guessed she just wanted to check in before going away again.

Once you got the house tidy, you decided that you would be spending the evening in bed. You’d not had a movie night in months and decided to treat yourself to doing nothing and just have a chilled night in.

Your mum had texted you saying that she would probably get in around 2:30am at which point you would probably have fallen asleep watching your films. She also let you know that she would be leaving around 8am and you told her honestly that you weren’t getting up to see her off.

You knew she wouldn’t mind; you were on your own most of the time now a days. It just gave you more incentive to find a relationship. Someone you could share your time with and not be alone 24/7.

The movie night started off with you watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as it was one of the old films that you really enjoyed watching now and again. After that you decided to put on American Pie as that was another classic film that everybody enjoyed watching.

You got about halfway through watching that when your doorbell rang. You pulled a face and paused the film. You hadn’t planned on Y/B/F, Caroline or Alisha coming around and they were the only friends you had so you were beyond confused at who was at your door.

Knowing your luck, it would probably your fucking annoying neighbours asking you to turn your TV down. However, it wasn’t them. It was someone you definitely weren’t expecting, and you were beyond confused as to why they were stood on your doorstep.

“Why are you here?” You asked sceptically when you answered the door.

Matty pushed past you into your house and turned back to you. 

“Can’t I just come and see a friend?” Matty asked with an innocent smile which you knew was fake.

“You could if I knew that’s what your intentions were, but I know you better than that... Get out” You tell him in a flat tone.

“Y/N like you said I’m seeing Charlotte, I’m just here to catch up with my friend” Matty said and you thought about it for a good second.

“Try anything and you will be thrown out” You warn closing your door and heading back upstairs to your room. “I’m watching films so do not interrupt please” 

You were halfway through the movie and you didn’t mind him joining you, as long as he wasn’t going to distract you from it. You loved American Pie and you hadn’t seen it for ages, so you actually wanted to watch it properly.

You heard him climb up the stair after you and once you’d entered your room you sat back down on your double bed. You didn’t wait for Matty to enter your room to un-pause your film you carried on as if he wasn’t there.

You saw from your peripheral vision as he closed the door behind him, and he dumped his jacket over the chair in your room. After that he sat down next to you on your bed and you continued to watch the end of the film.

You didn’t really talk to each other as the film ended. Matty didn’t need to ask what it was because he’s seen the film a thousand times. Everyone on earth had seen American Pie. It was such a good film; it was so funny.

At the sex scene part of the film you felt uncomfortable with Matty sat next to you. You really had expected him to make a move on you during that part of the film and you were pleasantly surprised when he just laughed along at the jokes.

When that one finished, you got up and looked at your shelves full of DVD’s, trying to find another good one to watch. You’d been looking for a minute when you heard Matty come up behind you and start looking too.

“Can we watch Pulp Fiction?” Matty excitedly asked, pulling the DVD from your shelf. You looked at him and smiled shaking your head.

“You interrupted my movie night, remember?” You said taking the DVD off him and putting it back in its place.

Matty sighed from behind you and pushed your shoulder before taking a seat at the end of your bed. You chuckled at his disappointment and carried on looking for another film.

“You better choose something good” Matty warns, watching you look at your shelves.

“I don’t own any bad films Matthew” You scold him.

“Well I can see The Notebook there, so you obviously do” Matty rolls his eyes and you let out an annoyed sigh.

“The Notebook is a great film, fuck off” You shake your head, still searching for a film.

Your eyes glanced across your shelves until a film that you hadn’t seen for ages stood out to you. You pulled it off the shelf and quickly headed over to the DVD player before Matty started complaining.

“What are you putting in there?” Matty asked you seriously as he watched you slot the DVD into the player.

You let out a laugh, “That’s what she said”

Your Y/E/C eyes connected to Matty’s brown ones and you could see the humour in them as he shook his head at you.

“Aren’t you meant to be twenty-two now? Very childish of you to still make those jokes” Matty tries to scorn you but the smile on his face told you that you’d actually made him laugh.

“Like you don’t make rude jokes” You chuckled, rolling your eyes at him.

“Have you seen this before?” You asked Matty curiously.

“You didn’t tell me what you put on” He said standing up to come and sit back down next to you.

“Stardust” You told him and clicked the ‘play movie’ button when the home screen came up.

You looked to Matty for an answer and he released a sigh, “Yeah it’s not too bad”

“It’s a great film” You confirmed, your eyes travelling back to the screen.

You both watched that film and chatted to each other throughout it. You found him quite fun to be around during a movie. He didn’t chat the whole way through, he just made the odd comment about a scene and you spoke about it for a minute or so before your attention returned to the film.

At one point you were both talking about how the two main characters were really attractive. You thought that Charlie Cox looked amazing in the film especially when he got the long hair and you did think that Claire Danes was really pretty, so you agreed with Matty on that one.

“Imagine being paid to kiss him. I wanna be an actress” You said just after the film finished and you were putting the DVD back in its box.

“What purely to kiss the guy?” Matty asked you with an amused grin.

“Hell yeah. I’d do it for free if I got to kiss him though” You chuckled. You actually would Charlie Cox was fit as fuck.

“Has that guy texted you yet?” Matty asked you curiously.

You smiled at that question, “Is that the only reason why you’ve come round? To check up on me?” You asked him, knowing full well that even if it was true, he would deny it.

“No” Matty bites back almost immediately.

“Just wondered” He added after a second, and he surprises you by adding, “He seemed to be very forward with you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright” 

“I can handle myself Matty. You of all people should know that” You said as you picked up the first Pirates of the Caribbean film.

“But thanks for caring” You added, not wanting to sound bitchy.

Once the DVD had started playing you sat yourself down next to Matty again saying, “To answer your question, no he hasn’t messaged yet. But I really hope he does”

“Why? He was a creep” Matty scolds.

“He wasn’t” You shook your head at him, defending Tom. You thought he was cute and funny.

“Oh yeah, the first thing he says to you is that he’d gunna go down on you and that's not the creepiest thing that's ever happened to you” Matty recited to you like you were stupid.

You shook your head looking at him. “That wasn’t the first thing he said to me. You weren’t there when I met him” You told him, and you just smiled when you saw Matty shaking his head and rolling his eyes at you.

“Whatever, you’re telling me if I came up to you back in December and said ‘I’ll go down on you’ you would have said yes? You would have slapped me harder than you slapped that dickhead” Matty said and you couldn’t help but giggle at how angry he was.

“Matty if you’d have said that line to me, I’d have let you do it in the bath in front of Y/B/F and probably in front of everyone else downstairs too” You told him honestly. 

You still couldn’t get over how hot Tom’s line was.

“You’d let me lick you out in front of all our friends? Y/N, you kinky bitch” Matty smirked, before making a V with his fingers and playfully darting his tongue out.

“Fuck off” You laughed, nudging him and trying to get the thought of him doing that to you out of your head. You’d almost forgot he’d done it to someone else previously that day.

After that, you played the film and you forgot how much you enjoyed watching Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in the same film. Matty seemed to be enjoying himself to and he made himself at home when he opened the sealed can of Dr Pepper that was on your bedside table.

You’d quite enjoyed your evening so far. Matty was surprisingly okay with you and you were both acting how you and your best friend did when you were bored. You had films on and chatted pure shit about random things that came to your heads during the boring bits.

You were having a really nice night in with him and he seemed to be enjoying your company too.

When you got halfway through Curse of the Black Pearl, your stomach started rumbling and you asked Matty if he wanted something to eat. He of course said yes so you said “Come on then” gesturing for him to follow you downstairs to get the food.

Matty scoffed, “I’m a guest. Shouldn’t you be getting me everything”

“Get up now or you’re getting nothing” You told him, and he got himself up with a sigh.

“You’re a real bitch, you know?” He shakes his head, following you down the stairs.

You chuckled at the comment whilst nodding your head. You really were.

As you both walked into the kitchen you heard Matty start humming the tune to the song American Pie and you smiled. You turned back to him and started singing along with him when it came to the chorus. 

“So bye bye, Miss American Pie…” You started but Matty stopped humming to it and smiled at you.

“I was hoping you’d know that song”

“Everyone knows that song” You told him, before adding, “It’s one of them songs I always want to dance to” 

You smiled at the brunette before turning towards the fridge and opening it to see if there were any treats inside.

“Come on then” You heard Matty say before he started singing the song himself. You felt his hand grasp yours and pull you too him as he sang, and he span you around.

You heard the fridge close as Matty made you dance around the kitchen with him and he made you giggle when he twirled you around again. You were both shuffling around your kitchen stupidly dancing as Matty sang you the chorus of the song.

You let out a loud laugh when he finished the chorus off and laughed into his shoulder. 

“That was funny” You murmured to him with a grin on your face. You never imagined dancing in your kitchen with anyone let alone Matty.

“Told you. Imma be a Rockstar and sing you that song on stage one day”

You rolled your eyes at that, “Don’t be silly. Your too self-absorbed to sing anyone else’s songs but your own”

Matty paused for a moment as if to give it some thought and then he nodded in agreement, “Yeah, you’re probably right”

“I know I’m right you don’t have to tell me” You chuckled.

“You are a fucking know it all, aren’t you?” Matty grinned as you put the song on your phone to listen to whilst you poured drinks for the both of you. 

You laughed nodding your head at him as you got some chocolate out of the fridge as well. You both started singing along to the song and Matty again started pulling you to him to dance. 

His hands held your and you moved together like you were 5 years old having to dance with someone you didn’t want to dance with. You did though it was quite a funny experience. He was just as bad at dancing as you.

“How are you doing that?” You asked in giggles looking down at his feet. 

He kept doing some weird moves that reminded you of Michael Jackson. Damn the boy had some moves.

“It’s dead easy” Matty chuckled repeating his movements and you just started giggling at how stupid he looked.

He made you try and do it as well, but you tripped over your own feet and out of embarrassment you hid your face in his chest. You were a giggling mess and you couldn’t stop laughing.

Matty was chuckling as well and you felt him put a hand on the back of your neck and he half hugged you with his other arm that was now around resting on your back.

When you felt him pull slightly on your hair you looked up at him still in giggles as you knew he wanted your attention. However, when you looked up at him his soft lips were on yours.

It was the most out of the blue kiss in the world. And that fact that it happened as you were overcome by laughter made your mind hazy. Like you couldn’t think for a solid minute.

You didn’t stop the kiss from happening when you really should have. It wasn’t like it had been before. It was a soft kiss that wasn’t rushed at all. You could feel the passion behind it.

It felt amazing and he almost made you forget about the events that had happened previously that day. Especially when he manoeuvred you, so you were sat on the kitchen counter with him in between your legs.

Your arms went around his neck to keep him there but as his tongue entered your mouth your sensed quickly returned back to you.

You pulled away from him and pushed him back slightly. 

“No” You shake your head.

“Yes baby” Matty softly encourages, before trying to kiss you again. 

His lips did catch yours once more and you were almost willing to break your rule. But you couldn’t.

You pushed him away again and held onto his shoulders to keep him back. You shake your head as you deny him, “No Matty” 

Matty looked at you with disappoint clear on his face as you continue, “If you think we’re doing this again, you can keep dreaming”

“I’m not being someone’s second best again” You told him, running a hand through your hair.

“What are you on about?” He asked looking at you curiously now, his hands now resting on your thighs.

“I could hear you going down on Charlotte in the bathroom like six hours ago. I’m not being the one you cheat on her with.” You told him.

“Y/N it’s not that deep. It’s only sex” Matty attempted but you shook your head.

“I don’t care. I’m not being that girl again” You told him honestly and you see something click in Matty’s head. 

You’d almost forgot that he saw you have a go at Kyle for using you to cheat on his girlfriend, but at least Matty would understand.

“Now” You started, jumping off the counter and opened the cupboard up and saw the large box of crips.

“What flavour crisps do you want?” You asked him routing to find yourself your favourite flavour.

When he didn’t reply you looked towards him and he was looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. You sent a questioning look his way and he kept the same face.

“You’re not gunna chuck me out?” Matty asked, gesturing to the door looking confused.

“Believe it or not I was having a nice night with my friend. And I’d like to get back to the film” You smile, picking up your own crisps.

You glanced back to him and he was looking at you in disbelief. 

“What flavour do you want?” You asked again and that finally seemed to take Matty out of his trance.



“Cheese and Onion please” Matty told you and you quickly found one to throw at him.

He chuckled as he caught them, and you shut the cupboard door and headed back upstairs with your snacks in hand. After that you both ended up ordering a Dominos because you were both starving.

Once that came, you ate like pigs who hadn’t been fed for days. You put it down to the alcohol that you’d consumed earlier in the day because somehow every time you had a drink you always wanted fatty foods afterwards.

You ordered a large pizza each which you both devoured. You’d been having a really good night and whilst you were eating, you’d put on the other Pirates of the Caribbean films. Partly because they were masterpieces and funny. And partly because it was easier to stick to one franchise of films on a movie night.

By the third film it was getting late and your eyes had started to close slowly. Before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep and your head had dropped down onto Matty’s shoulder because you were sat up next to him. You didn’t do it on purpose it was just the way you’d fallen asleep.

Matty froze for a second. No one had fallen asleep on his shoulder before besides Louis when he was really young. He forgot what he was meant to do. He didn’t know whether to wake you up or just let you sleep.

After a small panic, he decided to let you sleep and tried to remain deadly still, so he didn’t wake you up. But before long Matty’s eyes started closing to and his head ended up resting against yours.

And that sleep was the most peaceful one Matty had had in a long long while.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @dot-writes @lololovestaylor @murderousginger @peachquestions @siwiecola @nostalgic1975 @fairyyyfloss @theycallmenefi @colette2194 @maroonmolly @sexycleopatra @mrsprescott @fullmoonremus @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes

[wistfulcynic]

The Ballad of Emma and Killian

This began life as a little drabble of rockstar!Emma and actor!Killian--not my favourite trope but I thought I’d give it a try. And then @thisonesatellite FORCED me to actually like it and once I did it kept getting bigger and bigger until it became DRABZILLA and had to go in Secret Things instead. SO. 

Part 8 of Secret Things. This one is really very sweet. Struggling young artists in love stick together through the hard times until the good ones come. A little slice of life with just the teensiest little bit of Neal being an asshole and getting what-for. 

Summary: They aren’t famous when they meet, or when they fall in love. As the years go by and their careers flourish along with their fame, their love endures. 

Words: 2.2k Rating: T Tags: actor au, rockstar au, fluff, secret relationships

On AO3

Importing the tag list from Drabbles, apologies if you didn’t want a tag here: 

@thisonesatellite @kmomof4 @teamhook @courtorderedcake @jonirobinson64 @tiganasummertree @stahlop@mariakov81@facesiousbutton82

The Ballad of Emma and Killian: 

They’re not famous when they meet. Her band is still playing bars and clubs and he’s barely managed to scrape a few minor roles in local theatre. They’re not famous, but they see the potential in each other. 

“You’re brilliant with that,” he tells her, nodding at the guitar she’s slung over her shoulder. He’s had just enough to drink to give him the confidence to speak to her but not so much that he’s going to tell her he came here tonight expressly to see her play. 

“Oh yeah?” She has her eyes on the barman mixing her drink, doesn’t look at him until she’s got it in her hand. “Do you—” Her eyes widen when she turns towards him, and a smile tugs the corner of her mouth as she slowly takes him in. “—play?” she finishes finally. 

He’s grinning wide, flattered and more than a little turned on by her bold appraisal. “Only a few chords,” he says. “I’m an actor mostly.” 

“Of course you are.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that you’re really pretty. I bet those eyes show up well on camera.” 

“I wouldn’t know, love, I’ve not managed to land anything that requires a camera quite yet.” 

“You will.” 

They end up in her hotel room, a nondescript place on the Lambeth Road. She shrugs and says she’s got far better things to spend her money on than somewhere to sleep, then proceeds to make that dingy room the most memorable place he’s ever been. 

The next morning she has to head off early, to Manchester for her next gig. He walks her to the tube station and  kisses her in front of it, then pulls back, memorising her face. 

“Nice to meet you, Emma Swan,” he says. 

She smiles. “And you, Killian Jones.” 

—

Emma plays a dozen gigs in Manchester and word begins to get out. On the band’s last night in town an A&R rep is in the audience, and when she wakes up the next morning she has a record deal. She should be happy, she knows; she is happy, thrilled in fact, but she can’t get those blue eyes out of her head, or the wistful note in his voice when he said her name. 

She goes back to London, back to the pub where they met. She goes with no hope or expectation, and when she sees Killian there at the bar her heart leaps and when she sits beside him and he grins in delight she feels like she’s come home.  

—

“I have a record deal,” she tells him, after. 

His whole face lights up. “That’s brilliant!” he says. “You’re brilliant.” 

She flushes at the praise and he takes her hand, twining his fingers with hers. “Emma,” he says, looking around the bland room they’re in. “Nothing against your taste in hotels, love, but I wonder if you would care to see my flat. It’s not much but it’s better than here.” 

It is. He lives in the attic of an old house, fitted with a tiny kitchen and tinier bathroom, and a bed that folds out from the faded sofa. 

“A garret!” She laughs. “Perfect for a starving actor.” 

“That’s exactly the aesthetic I was going for,” he says, laughing with her. He wraps an arm around her shoulders. “It suits an emerging musician as well.” 

She snuggles into his side. It does. 

—

They get married in a simple ceremony at the Southwark registry office; far too soon, his brother says with frowning disapproval and her parents Skype them from Maine to say the same, but they don’t care and they don’t listen. They are sure of each other, and deeply in love. 

The first few years are hard. Emma has to tour to promote her album and Killian takes every acting job he can, always hoping the next one will be his big break. The album is a huge success and the tour is extended; she is exhausted and burnt out and misses her husband, but she loves her music and the thrill of performing for the huge crowds, and they call each other every day, no matter what. His unwavering support keeps her going.  

—

Her fame grows and she begins to do interviews, answering probing questions about her music and her life. The interviewers don’t ask her if she’s married and she doesn’t volunteer the information. She doesn’t wear her wedding ring onstage —she doesn’t like anything on her fingers when she plays— and she allows people to keep the conclusions they draw. The interviews appear online and on television, and soon Killian starts to hear people talking about her. He beams with pride whenever someone says they like her music, and when the remarks touch on the personal he simply shrugs them off. People can be assholes, but he knows his wife. 

When her tour finally finishes they take a vacation— a month in the Seychelles, just the two of them in a beach hut with crystal blue water stretching out to the horizon. It is pure bliss; she unwinds for the first time in more than a year, and by the time they’re back in London the two of them are expecting a third. She tells her manager she’s taking a break to write some new songs and spends the next year in their tiny attic flat, playing her guitar and growing her baby, and watching her husband perform in his first lead role on the West End. People keep to themselves in the neighbourhood where they live, and if anyone recognises ‘the cultural heir of Nancy Wilson crossed with Jack White’ or ‘British theatre’s fastest-rising star’ the tabloids are not informed. 

They have never been happier. 

—

They’ve been married nearly five years when Killian’s big break finally comes. He lands a role in an American TV show and brings his family with him when he moves to Boston for filming. Emma’s on tour again but she Skypes him and the kids —they have two of them now— in their new place and tells them she can’t wait to be there. She tells him in private that his eyes look great on camera, as she always knew they would.

His new costars know he’s married, of course, he talks about his wife a lot but refers to her only as ‘Emma,’ a common enough name that no one thinks anything of it. The show is a breakaway hit and he finds himself suddenly famous, suddenly the focus of more female attention than even his handsome self is accustomed to, and fielding interview questions more probing than any he’s encountered before. He doesn’t hide his wedding ring but he also doesn’t mention who his wife is. His marriage is private, and there’s enough scrutiny on his personal life as it is. 

—

“You know who I’d really like for this role?” the lead showrunner says to Killian one day, discussing a new character being introduced in the show’s third season. “Emma Swan. Do you think she’d be interested in getting into acting?” 

He chokes on his coffee. “How would I know?” he asks cautiously. 

The showrunner shrugs. “I know you’re a fan of hers,” he says. “I’ve seen your Spotify. Anyway, it’s pure speculation. I think she has the perfect look for the character, but I’ve got no idea if she can act.” 

“Well, I’d love to work with Emma Swan,” says Neal Cassidy, the show’s secondary male lead. “Whether she can act or not, she’s a hell of a piece of ass. Nothing hotter than a chick who plays guitar.” 

Killian concentrates hard on not punching the man in his leering face. He’s had to listen to a lot of people talk about how hot his wife is over the years and most of the time it doesn’t bother him, even when the remarks veer into the lewd. But he’s never really clicked with Cassidy, and the idea of the smug arsehole trying it on with Emma makes his blood boil. 

“If she does join the show, I’m sure one way she’ll act is professionally,” he says stiffly. “And I’d hope the rest of us would too.” 

“Oooh hooo,” says Neal in a taunting singsong. “Someone’s got a little crush.” 

Killian gets up from the table and tosses his coffee cup in the trash with deliberate control. “If anyone needs me I’ll be in my trailer,” he says. 

—

“I had an interesting call from my manager today,” says Emma over dinner that night. “Apparently I’ve had an offer to read for a part on your show.” 

“Yeah,” Killian replies. “Bob was telling me he thinks you’d be perfect for the role. What do you think?” 

She shrugs. “Acting’s really your thing. I wouldn’t want to step on your toes.” He’s sure she means this, but there’s a wistfulness in her voice and he knows she’s getting tired of all the touring and would love something more stable that didn’t take her away from their kids. 

He reaches across the table to take her hand. “You wouldn’t be, love, you know that,” he says, smiling at her. “If this is something you really want to try, you should try it.” 

She smiles back, warm and soft. Her smile will be great on camera. “I think I will then,” she says. 

“Good.” 

She squeezes his hand. “I love you, Killian Jones.” 

“And I you, Emma Swan.” 

—

“Hey, hey, did you see her?” Neal elbows him in the ribs and once again Killian has to suppress the desire to respond with his fist. 

“Who?” he asks, though he knows the answer. 

“Emma Swan, bruh. She’s meeting with Bob right now. She walked right by me on the way to his office and lemme tell you, she’s even hotter in person, if you can believe it.” 

He thinks of his wife as he saw her that morning, all messy hair and tired eyes, cradling their youngest in her arms and singing softly to her as she nursed. “I can believe it,” he says. 

“Hair like that, man, you just wanna wrap it around your fist and pull—” Killian turns his back and stalks away before he can hear what Neal wants to pull, reminding himself firmly that beating up a costar is frowned upon in the industry, and he would like to work again once this show ends. 

He goes to his trailer and waits for Emma to finish her audition. Ten minutes later she slips through the door, flushed and glowing, and walks straight into his arms.  

“How did it go?” he asks, as if he can’t read the answer on her face. 

“They want me to start filming next week,” she replies, and her smile is radiant.  

“That’s brilliant!” He hugs her close, grinning into her hair. “You’re brilliant.” 

She leans back, studies his face. “And you’re sure you don’t mind, babe? I can still say no—” 

“Absolutely not, you’ve earned this and Bob’s right, the character is perfect for you. Though it does mean we’ll probably have to tell people we’re married.” 

She laughs. “Well, it’s been eight years now, I guess it’s about time we came clean. Plus it’s not like it’s a secret as such, it’s just something we’ve never told anyone before.” 

He joins in her laughter and then he kisses her, a sweet, soft kiss that soon turns hot. She’s never visited him on set before, of course, and he finds himself overwhelmed by the desire to make love to her here, in this place where he has spent long days of filming sitting alone and missing her.  

He lifts her onto the back of his armchair, pushing her skirt up her thighs so he can stand between them. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and grinds against him. They are lost in each other —this is how it’s always been between them— and neither of them hears the door to the trailer open or senses Neal’s slack-jawed presence until he manages to close his mouth and find his voice. 

“Son of a bitch!” he yells. 

Emma and Killian break apart and turn to glare at the intruder. 

“What the fuck, man?” shouts Neal. “Aren’t you married?”

“Aye, mate.” Killian is fuming, his jaw clenched and his eyes like shards of ice. “Allow me to introduce you to my wife. This is Emma.” 

Neal chokes and his eyes go wide as he clearly tries to remember just how disgustingly offensive he’s been about Emma Swan. 

“Look, man,” he stutters. “I’m sorry—” 

“No you’re not,” says Killian coldly. “But you are unwelcome. Kindly fuck yourself off now so my beautiful wife can fuck me.” He turns back to Emma, who pulls him in and resumes their kiss. 

Neal stumbles and nearly falls as he backs out of the trailer, still stuttering apologies, but they are too busy tearing off each other’s clothes to notice. 

—

They weren’t famous when they met, or when they married. But they are when they announce their relationship to a press and a public that goes mad over it. They’re at the top of every gossip site and trending on every social media network. Offers of joint interviews come pouring in, all of which they decline, which —people and the internet being what they are and what it is— only adds to their mystique. They are the story of the decade— for nearly an entire week, until Neal gets caught soliciting a prostitute who turns out to be an undercover cop, and everyone forgets about Emma Swan and Killian Jones. 

Which is just the way they like it. 

[wallstagram]

june - july fic rec: month(s) in review

hello & welcome back to the june - july edition of fic rec: month(s) in review! we have a L O T to unpack this time, so let’s dive right in! throughout june & july, we have been blessed with the majority of @larryabroad, as well as the bulk of @hlsummerexchange2019, all of @wordplayfics, wanker’s day fic fest, and many more that i’m probably forgetting. summer was a great time to be a fic reader for sure, thank you to every author who contributed!! 

**disclaimer: not all of these fics were written in june/july, it is simply when i read them. however, a lot of them were. ***note: as always, if you do take my recommendation and read any of these works, please bookmark, comment, and leave kudos for these authors!! it is so important that we support the creators in our community. as an author, i know a sweet comment will often spur me to keep writing when i’m stuck. but, without further ado, here’s my recs below the cut!

J U N E : :

You Were Made To Be Mine by lovelarry10 (@chloehl10)

Louis Tomlinson takes his 6 year old son Jacob to see Harry Styles in concert. Jacob has been a huge fan of Harry's for as long as he can remember, so it's a dream come true when Harry notices him in the pit. But Jacob isn't all that Harry has his eye on...

Louis is a bit embarrassed when Harry picks on him from the stage, but when he's invited backstage after the show, he wonders what Harry Styles could possibly want with a single dad and his kid from Manchester...

This was such a cute read! At a whopping 580k, there is a LOT to sink your teeth into. Though I started it at the beginning of June, I haven’t even nearly finished yet, but it’s so good that it’s made it onto my rec list!

Get Off and Vote by haztobegood (@haztobegood)

Niall lets out a loud laugh, “Hey, listen to this. You know how elections are Tuesday? It says the Babeland on the edge of campus is giving out free toys to the first 100 people that show their ‘I Voted’ sticker.”

“How patriotic.” Louis laughs. “Maybe I should go.”

Haha! This one was great. At 3k, it’s a perfect quick read for some sexy, patriotic fun. 

Surprise Me, Space Boy by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Louis is a solo officer on Space Station Zeta and the isolation can present many challenges, not least of which is that it’s really bloody hard to date. He’s pinning his hopes on that changing with a fellow solo officer, Harry, from a neigbouring station who gives great banter and has a gorgeous smile. Maybe online dating has its benefits after all?

OR The Space Wank Fic.

Oh, this one was so good!!! The thing I love about literally anything Dee writes is that she just thinks completely outside the box. I feel like I never quite know what’s going to happen (in the best way!) and her originality totally made this fic amazing. (7k)

rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied (@crossnecklace)

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

This was such a good read! It’s written in such a way that you’re utterly sucked into the verse so much that you’re a bit sappy when the fic is over. Kinda makes you feel a bit lovedrunk just from reading it. (29k)

Found My Hallelujah by crimsontheory (@ireallysawanangel)

As an engagement gift from his parents, Harry and his fiance receive an all expenses paid cruise trip for two. But one week before they're set to sail, Harry walks in on his fiance cheating on him. Newly single, with the cruise tickets in hand, and his bags already packed, Harry brings along his sister instead. And maybe the cute bartender on the ship might just be the person Harry needs to help him put back together all of his broken pieces.

I have so much to say about this one! I had the absolute honor of beta’ing this 35k work (which im pretty sure i just cheerlead you bc nicole you know grammar isn’t my strong suit...lmfao) and honestly it has become a fic that i love so much! nicole is such a talented writer; everything she writes just brings out so much emotion from her audience, and she has such a great sense of characterization! if you liked this one, check out its sequel, Now I’m Moving Up because it’s great too!!!!

J U L Y : :

Whisk me off my feet by allwaswell16 (@allwaswell16)

When Louis locks himself out of his apartment in just a pair of novelty underwear, he hopes his new neighbor can come to his rescue.

Haha! This one was so cute! What a darling fic! (5k)

The Charles Compass Trilogy by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Louis Tomlinson is a successful writer who rents a beach house on the Cape to try and finish the final book in his successful Charles Compass trilogy.

So I’m convinced that any rec list I make will not be complete if Sada isn’t on it. Here’s the thing - I fell in love with this story before she was revealed as the author, and honestly I had no clue. She’s got this amazing way of being able to change her style to fit the kind of story she’s trying to tell. This is such a good look at the writing process, highly recommend! (9k)

From The Heart series by jacaranda_bloom (@jacaranda-bloom)

Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat.

As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind?

Okay, Dee really killed the game this time. Because I was OBSESSED. I mean honestly checking my phone at work to see what the newest installment was. This series is so fulfilling and so so hot to think about as an author! (25k)

blue eyes, black jeans, lighters, candy by delsicle (@emperorstyles)

Harry is in Madrid and Louis had a hard week.

So, the whole dom on tour series is really good, but this is my favorite work of the two. I love basically anything Delaney writes but this was extremely hot! (4k)

Could you love me anyway by SadaVeniren (@sadaveniren)

Dear Mistress Lorin: I’ve been reading your blog for a couple weeks now and was hoping you’d give me some advice for something that happened with me and my boyfriend. I’m really worried that I hurt him.

aka Harry and Louis begin playing ping pong during the X-Factor Tour. It quickly gets out of hand.

Okay. If you know me at all, you know that the way to my heart is either spanking, kink negotiation, or both. This just delivers on it all, and it catches on some main parts of BDSM-for-newbies and kink-gone-wrong that people often pretend never happens. I could gush so much about this, but go ahead and just read it yourself because it’s too good to miss!! (13k)

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl (@angelichl)

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia.

Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he?

Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Okay WOW. I have so much to say about this one!!! So first off, the biggest thank you to adri for writing this fic for me for HL Summer Exchange!!! Honestly I feel like you spied through all my hopes and dreams and loves (including parenthesis in fic titles??? love it) and squished it all into this fic. it’s just the best fic, and it feels like warm summer air and tracing constellations in the stars and falling in love. if you haven’t read this already, please do!!!! It was so good I teared up when I first read it! (25k)

Heading for Limbo by kingsofeverything (fullonlarrie) (@kingsofeverything)

Childhood best friends who’ve fallen in and out of touch with each other since Louis’ family moved away when they were thirteen, Harry and Louis find their paths crossing again and again. Each time, no matter how many miles apart or how many years it’s been, it’s as if no time has passed. They fall back into their easy friendship, until life intervenes and sends them on their separate ways once more.

When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

The pieces of their twice broken hearts are scattered from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Okay. Okay. This fic literally is one I will remember for the rest of my life, and i’m not even being dramatic about it! So, I really do enjoy leaving authors detailed comments about their fics, but that just wasn’t enough... I really had to message Lauren this whole essay about how Heading for Limbo helped me deal with a lot of emotions I was feeling in my own personal life, and it helped me fully realize that i’m bisexual. (did i just come out?? yikes) it was nice to see a fic where things weren’t perfect over a long stretch of time. It was amazing to see Harry realize his sexuality later in life, because that was one of my main struggles. this fic is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Literally, Lauren, thanks for changing my whole life!!! (101k)

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (@becomeawendybird)

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

Okay, if you’re new around here, this fic was also on one of my previous rec lists, but then Molly had to ruin my life and write another chapter of it. Jesus Christ!!!! I literally could read this fic every single day and die happily. It’s so hot, and the characterization is so good. So, I guess this rec is specifically for chaper 2, but you’ve gotta read chapter 1 also! For the betterment of your life, of course. (9k)

Abstract by Star55 (@star55)

After Zayn draws a naked Harry for her art class, she finds that she can't stop drawing Harry and Louis' naked bodies, usually engaged in some form of sexual activity.

Literally - this was hot as balls. Loved it! (8k)

alright guys, that’s it! if you read all the way to the bottom, you deserve a sticker. i hope you guys enjoy some of my favorite fics i’ve read! don’t forget to go bookmark, comment, and give kudos! and just remember: we are all human. if you read a work, and loved it, and didn’t comment, it’s never too late! give your author some loooooooove. my life has been super busy and i really haven’t been in the place to leave the thought-out comments i like to, so most of these authors can expect comments from me soon. thank you to all the authors listed above, have a nice day everyone! also, feel free to send your favorite fics into my ask - maybe they’ll end up on my next list!!!

[scotianostra]

On December 16th 2001 singer/songwriter Stuart Adamson took his own life.......

Stuart's parents, expats, lived in Manchester when their boy was born and moved home to Fife when he was just four, don't anyone fuckin dare tell me he wasn't Scottish!  The family settled in Crossgate on the outskirts of Dunfermline.

Adamson's father was in the fishing industry and travelled the world. He encouraged Stuart to read literature, and both parents shared an interest in folk music, Fife born author Ian Rankin attended Beath High School, two years beneath Adamson, and would later become a big fan.

Stuart founded his first band, Tattoo, in 1976 after seeing The Damned in Edinburgh, a year later he formed Skids and recruited Crosshill lad Ian Jobson, The legendary John Peel plugged them on his Radio 1 show which led them to playing support to the likes of the Clash and The Stranglers and a record deal with Virgin. Stuart walked out on the group just as they were about to make it big, for a time he rejoined the band for a tour to promote their album Scared to Dance.

Hooking up with guitarist and long-time friend Bruce Watson, Adamson formed Big Country, the line-up also featured, on keyboards, Peter Wishart, later of Gaelic rockers Runrig, and now a polititian. Originally they experimented with the synthiser sounds that were all the rage then, The Human League were riding high in the charts, but Adamson wanted something more traditional and the synth sounds made way for the guitar sound that was a unique sound for the band and that became their trademark sound. Adamson said later....“Music used to be a thing where working people got together on a Saturday night and played some songs. Someone’d play the guitar or the fiddle or an accordion. No bastard’d played the synthesiser.”

They roped in Jam drummer Rick Buckler on some demos which were hawked around a number of recording labels unsuccessfully, a support slot with Alice Cooper went disastrously too, the band’s half-baked sound grating on an audience looking for glam-metal thrills. By the second night of the tour they were sacked.

Their manager Grant Scott called in Adamson and convinced him the band needed a shake up, out went Wishart, in came in came bassist Tony Butler and drummer Mark Brzezinski, who had just finished an album with Pete Townsend of The Who. Butler, a much respected bass player had also played with Townsend, Roger Daltry and The Pretenders. The final link in the chain that brought them success was when they were signed by Phonogram records, who appointed Steve Lillywhite to produce them, Lillyywhite had just finished work on U2's breakthrough album War and had previously worked with Siouxsie And The Banshees, the Psychedelic Furs and XTC. 

Initially contracted to just do a single, the sessions for Fields Of Fire produced not only that classic song, but gave birth to the Big Country sound and inspired a new bout of songwriting from Adamson, the band had it all in front of them. At the heart of it all was Adamson, the punk rocker with the virtuoso talent. He used to say, ‘Don’t call me a musician. I’m a songwriter, guitarist, singer, but muso – I don’t like that tag’,” but musician he was. 

The music of their album The Crossing was epic and inspirational, as big as the glens and as loud as a cavalry charge, this was rock music yes, but not the type played by the likes of Led Zeppelin or AC/DC, this had a Scottish spin. The crowd-friendly skirling guitars, big beats and uplifting calls to arms were all great, but The Crossing also tone the sound down with the, in my own humble opinion, brilliant Chance, which Lillywhite describes as a “a beautiful, depressive song,” Released in July 1983, The Crossing went on to sell over two million copies worldwide.

Their follow up album Steeltown hit number one in the UK and hit gold status in sales, another two top ten albums followed, but all the time Stuart Adamson was fighting his demons.Although sales were good the music press started to turn on them, Steeltown was collection of songs born out of the political landscape of the 80's - the Falklands war, unemployment, tales of people trapped by circumstance and crushed by forces outside their control, it wasn’t what the press wanted to hear, the dour Scotsman. In the eyes of the music press, the band were pompous and dreary and so not cool, the dour Scotsman, in the eyes of the music press, were a pompous band and dreary and so not cool.

1985 took the pressure of Stuart a little, they were signed to score the film, The Scottish classic, Restless Natives,  the instrumental score freeing him from that "dour Scotsman" tag. The bands manager Grant tells of Stuart leaving the band, but not, relentlessly on the road, doing press, radio, TV and in the studio and not at home as much as he would have liked.He was also hitting the booze big time.Unable, at the time to get a definitive answer from Stuart on the bands future they missed out on a spot at Live Aid, having previously featured on the single Do they know it's Christmas.

Come 1988 they recorded Peace In Our Time, a more mellow Middle of the Road album, which was an attempt at cracking the US market, it bombed there and the band looked east, playing  Russia’s first international rock festival in August ’88 (Grant: “My pitch to him was: Bono – Amnesty International. It only added to the music press attitude that they had lost their way and were "self-important, pompous do-gooders."

After Russia, Stuart Adamson decided to split the band.They reformed in 91, recording No Place Like Home, it was the first of their albums that failed to reach the UK top 20. The music of the 90's didn't have a place for Big Country, the ensuing albums didn't dent the top 40, it felt like they were just going through the motions.

There was a small glimmer of hope when their single Fragile Thing looked like hitting the top 40, but some bizarre wrangle with the chart compilers about the CD singles cover having "too many folds in it"  meant it was disqualified and languished at 69, it  would have given them a springboard to punt their new album....... Stuart had by then moved to Nashville and the songs he was crafting reflected the country music scene that immerse the place. He had kicked the drink for a while  but reckoned he was happy in Nashville and could start boozing again. In October 2000 Big Country played their last gig in Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia. Adamson almost missed it when, drunk, he got on the wrong plane.The gig was a disaster. Butler later said “We were a karaoke version of what we were,” Butler told the band they should take a break for a couple of years, he didn't think it was helping Adamson's drink problem carrying on. Various people spoke  about the next two years, phone calls from concerned friends, Adamson said in one call from Steve Lillywhite that..."I’ve worked it out, I really can’t drink, I mustn’t drink, I’m happy now not drinking…’” There was talk of a collaboration, with amongst other the subject of Saturday's post, Mike Scott and other singers a sort of British Crosby Stills and Nash. On November 15, 2001, Adamson left a bar in Atlanta, Georgia. His marriage to his second wife falling apart, he was also facing a drink-driving charge that could have led to jail time. He fell off the wagon, hard. He flew back to Nashville where, instead of going home, he stayed in various hotels. Grant hired a private detective to find him – to no avail. “He drunk solidly for eight weeks in hotels,” says the manager, “and every time we found out where he was he’d just checked out for another one.” On December 4, he flew to Hawaii and checked into a hotel near Honolulu Airport where he requested the delivery of three bottles of wine to his room each day. He never left the room. On December 16, he was found by security hanging from a clothes rail. No suicide note was ever found. He was 43. Putting this post together has been difficult for me, I fight my own demons every day, and could easily fall into a life of constant boozing, I do however manage just to hold things together. Adamson's music was a big part of my formative years and I still listen to his songs regularly, some with tears in my eyes, like this one, the aforementioned Fragile Thing, the lyric tells a story much like my own and I can empathise with him through this tune......... Thank you ma'am for asking Yes I'm on my own I guess it's kind of obvious I'm eating here aloneI'm grateful for the company Tired of talking to myself Don't you look into my eyes You might see someone else

If you decide to watch/listen to the track, you might recognise a certain Scottish female singer adding her vocals to the song......

If I have made any mistakes of mispelled anything here please don't tell me know, leave it be, like Stuart Adamson and myself, it is flawed.

[kobe19891202-blog]

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[velmalav]

sister: part three {r.t.}

warnings: swearing, some angst.

synopsis: continuation of story of the same name. find parts one and two here and here. reader is brian may’s sister and roger is secretly in love with her.

word count: 2.6k+

*** 

  “Remember leaving me to fend for myself down in Hampton when we could’ve been getting utterly wasted together? You still owe me for my eighteenth!”

 “Do I?” Brian asks, a hint of sarcasm dripping in his voice. He lets the bus door shut after you both step out, the hot air so thick it’s almost suffocating. “Because I thought you being here,” he gestures to the stadium in front of you, “was enough to pay all debts off for, I don’t know, the rest of our lives.”

 You roll your eyes as he throws an arm around your shoulder. “Oh, c’mon, you can’t use this as an excuse forever. How do you expect me to blackmail you in the future?”

 Brian chuckles as you both make your way inside the venue, the other band members a mere couple steps ahead. From the corner of your eye, you catch Roger glance over his shoulder, a smirk playing at his lips. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Brian replies. “And consider letting you join us tonight.”

 You’ve been trying to go out with the band for ages. They always seem like they’ve had the best time of their lives after a night out – plus, it’s not exactly riveting to wake up at 3 in the morning to them drunkenly stumbling over to their bunks, or having to tie your brother’s hair back into a ponytail while he’s throwing up, and be completely sober. Those are two things that actually happened, and although Brian is somehow okay with letting you see that side of him, he still won’t let you see the side of him that’ll dance his heart out to “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany. (You only know this because Freddie is a very talkative drunk).

 “That’s the closest I’ve gotten you to a yes, so I’ll take it,” you grin, bopping your against Brian’s shoulder.

 From there, you separate from the group and head over to the sound booth. It’s become your little safe haven in the midst of all the crazy, and you have Roger to thank for it. After the Manchester show, you two started a ritual where you scope out all of the venues early to avoid the chaos. The first time you guys did, you’d found your rightful place with the sound engineers, almost like it was fate. Everything about the way they worked peaked your interest; it was all just so mesmerizing. Roger had made sure to poke plenty of fun that first night you observed the sound booth, but every show after, all he’s ever been is supportive and excited for you.

 “Gonna make us sound orgasmic tonight?” Roger’s suddenly walking with you, shoulder nudging against yours. A laugh involuntary jolts out of you as you send him your most disappointed look.

 “Jesus, Rog, out of all the words in the dictionary, you pick that one?”

 Roger shrugs with smirk, eyes darting behind him for a moment and then back to you before his fingers intertwine with yours. “What can I say? It’s one of my favorites.”

 You pause just before the booth, allowing him to swing his body around to face you. For a second, you happily sigh down at your connected hands, and then look back at him. The shining in his eyes is an acknowledgement to you, to your drifting imagination. That’s a new thing that has emerged in the wake of your relationship with Roger – your mind goes wild at just the simplest glance, much more than it ever has before. It hasn’t exactly been easy, keeping away from each other, because now that you know he wants it to, you’re now so painfully aware when he’s looking at you like that, or what it really means when his hand rests on the small of your back. But so far, you guys have played it off well.

 “Shouldn’t be surprised by that, should I?” you challenge, making sure to match his snide tone. Roger steps a bit closer, bangs falling slightly into his eyes – he really needed a trim. He shakes his head, and you place a flat palm down on his chest. “Stick with somethin’ like ‘terrific’ or ‘amazing.’”

 “That’s boring, love,” at this point neither of you really care what you’re saying, just talking to talk. And it’s nice to have Roger near you, touching you, so you don’t notice.

 Roger picks up the hand on his chest and leaves a doting kiss to it, a softness clouding over the sarcasm from before. “You should get back to them, Rog,” you insist, knowing that if he gets any closer he’ll be toeing a line that you both had promised not to cross. You reclaim your hand to push his shoulder playfully now, smile blossoming on your lips.

 “Go, rock star, you’ve got people waiting on you.”

.

 Incessantly pestering Brian apparently goes a long way, because an hour after the Dayton show, you and the band end up at a bar a few blocks from the venue. You’re so giddy with excitement the moment you step foot inside, unable to believe that you are finally going to see what it’s like to party with your brother. He doesn’t seem the happiest, but you know why – the show hadn’t gone according to plan (Roger busted through one of his drums and Freddie nearly sprained his ankle from all his dancing). Not to mention that he surely wouldn’t be getting laid tonight with his little sister on his arm.

 The six of you – their assistant, Paul, included – steal a spot in the corner of the bar, away from the bigger crowds. Some immediately come up to the table to get autographs, and it isn’t until the fifth person that you realize pretty much everyone in the bar has just come from the concert.

 “Swamped in here,” Roger grumbles from across the table, elbow propped on it and his jaw in hand. The cigarette poking from the corner of his mouth falls onto his lap as he speaks, causing him to shoot up from his seat. “Christ,” he brushes it off and stomps on it before retreating to what you assume is the bathrooms.

 “S’been a rough night for all of us, I guess,” John sighs beside you as he sips his beer. You solemnly nod, but your eyes are still glued to the last place you saw Roger. He’ll get over it, he always does, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch him struggle.

 “Suppose you picked a bad night,” Brian says into your ear as he slides a drink in front of you. You finally tear your eyes away from the empty silhouette of where Roger was into the sympathetic eyes of your brother. “Don’t worry, though, we’ve got four more months for you to get the chance.”

 There’s a disappointing feeling in the pit of your stomach as you stare down at the drink. You’re not sure of its contents, yet you are still confident that it isn’t strong enough for you in this moment. “I’m gonna get somethin’ stronger, be right back,” you grumble and weave your way among hordes of drunken concertgoers.

 Despite the voice in your head telling you not to, you can’t help but scan the crowd for Roger as you arrive at the bar. Your arms fold across the top, you even rock onto your tiptoes to check every nook and cranny of the building. And he’s nowhere to be found. Must’ve needed some air, you think, but the pessimistic side of you is already churning up worse case scenarios.

 “How can I help you?” the bartender, a tall, lanky brunette, asks. Still glancing around, you part your lips to give your order when you finally set eyes on who you’ve been searching for.

 There’s already so many sensations running through you that at first you assume – you insist – that you must be seeing wrong. You had been right about one thing, he must’ve been on his way to the toilets at some point, but got side-tracked by a curvy blonde along the way. And now he’s circling an arm around her with the widest smile and leading her into one of the toilets. You can hear her bubbly giggle from where you stand. Just before the bathroom door shuts, you get a full view of his mouth on hers, and it’s enough to snap you back into reality so harshly that you’re wobbling on your feet.

 “Ma’am?”

 Snapping your focus back to the bartender, you force out a sheepish laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” you swallow down the heaviness in your throat. “Just…um, just give me something strong please.”

 You’re at war with yourself while you wait for your drink. As upset as you are, you know you have no right to be. He isn’t yours, Y/N. He can’t be. He’s a grown man and he can shag whoever he wants, whenever he wants. “’Cept for you,” you groan to yourself, not even realizing you’ve said it out loud until a couple people toss you a strange look.

 “Here you go,” you exchange currency with the bartender and retire back to the table, wriggling into your rightful spot between Brian and John. Brian senses the shift in your mood almost instantly, eyebrows raising as he stares at the three shots lined up on a tray in front of you.

 “Go easy now,” he says, and although you know it’s all in good fun, you’re too ruffled to respond.

 You’re sinking into a mindset you know all too well – everything is heightened, every thought you’ve ever had about Roger now flailing around the front of your brain. It leads you into dangerous territory – Should I even be here? Why did I think I could pretend? I should just leave. I can’t be around him anymore. This whole idea was dumb and the only thing I’m going to get out of it is heartbreak.

“Y/N?” Brian revives you long enough for you to finally curl your hands around the three tiny glasses and respectively tip your head back for each one. When your glassy eyes meet your brother’s, his expression is a mix of concern and awe because even after you down them all, there’s no flinch or hesitation for a chaser afterward. “Should I even ask?”

 You shake your head and begin to laugh – it’s not a normal one either. It’s a loud, obnoxious belly laugh that’s even too much for Freddie, who makes a point to raise his glass towards you. “No, Bri,” you start, reaching for the drink he brought you earlier. “You really shouldn’t.”

.

 Things are definitely not normal anymore. You don’t even need to be the one to solidify it because Roger does it for you; he absolutely doesn’t know what you saw, but part of you thinks that even if he did, he would still be drifting from you the way he is now. There isn’t an obvious tension, it’s more of a thick, unsettling feeling every time you two are near each other. The worst part is that it doesn’t even start with the night at the bar, it’s the week after when Roger stops sleeping in his bunk and finds refuge at a different woman’s house every night.

 The first night he doesn’t return to the bus you write it off as a wild night gone rogue, but by the third you know that something is up. And thankfully you’re still being shady around him because you’re scared about what he would say if you ever asked, which is exactly what you would’ve done if everything was normal. Would he be honest or would he lie straight to your face? You’re not sure which one is worse.

 “Not at the sound booth today?” John asks you as you sprawl across the side stage, too exhausted to move and secretly enjoying the vibrations the music sends through it. You lower your sunglasses – Brian’s actually, you stole them ages ago – and flash him a weak smile.

 “Engineer’s out sick and I’m not too fond of his replacement,” you reply. “Besides, I quite like the view from here considering I’m always shacked up when you lot are playing.”

 John reciprocates your smile and offers a hand to you. “Well, as comfortable as you look down there, I need your help.”

 “My help?”

 “Follow me,” and so you do…all the way to the snack table.

 “I must admit, Deaky, I’m a bit confused,” you say as he picks up a bagel and takes the biggest bite out of it. You’re surprised to see pink filling oozing from it. “Strawberry?” you ask, suddenly distracted by the array of bagels filling the table.

 “Thought it’d make you feel better. And yes,” he chuckles with a mouthful of bread. And now you’re expecting him to ask you what’s been going on – it’s not exactly a secret that you’ve been rather introverted this week – but he doesn’t ask anything else of you. Except for which kind of bagel you want, and then picks it up with a napkin and graciously hands it to you. “Cherry. Good choice. Didn’t even know they had that kind.”

 “Mum used to make them a lot growing up,” you reply and then immediately take a bite. Both of you meet each other’s eyes in that moment – mouths overflowing with bagel – and bust out laughing. You swear you can’t remember the last time you’ve laughed like this – eyes glistening with tears, face beet red.

 And in a split second, all of the joy encasing your features is ripped away.

 “Roger?” a meek, high-pitched voice squeaks out behind you and John. You turn to see a significantly shorter, blonder girl looking around like she’s lost her mum in the grocery store. She catches your eye. “Is Roger around?”

 John senses the tension right away, stepping forward to help the girl out before you say something you’ll regret. You’re so glad there’s still so much bagel in your mouth, otherwise you’re sure you’d have a passive aggressive field day. An ingenuine smile curves onto your face as Roger appears from the stage. You tip your sunglasses back up so he can’t see the dejection you’re trying so hard to cover up.

 “Speak of the devil,” John announces, waving his hands in Roger’s direction. You aim your attention to your bagel as you take another bite, smile falling as fast as it appeared.

 For the first time since Roger’s been sleeping around, he knows you know and it makes the air in the building a lot more constricting. You physically have to turn around to avoid his stare as the girl begins blabbering about how he left his vest at her flat and had to drive an entire hour to get to him. You must look so ridiculous – clad in Brian’s over-sized jacket, dark Ray-Bans, and going to town on a cherry bagel. You’re falling further into the hole, the same one you dissolved into the night at the bar, when John’s hand lands on your arm.

 “You alright, Y/N?”

 His tone is so worried and mellow that you almost lose it right there. You’re not a little bitch, though, and you’re hyper-aware that getting this worked up is totally absurd and completely out of character, so you simply smile. “Yeah, fine. Just didn’t realize how hungry I was until you gave me this.”

 And in the pits of the cynical, gloomy black hole you’re reeling in, you think, I can’t keep doing this to myself. Something needs to change.

***

part 4 // masterlist

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[t-bonebunton]

Hello and welcome to “Beowulf Has Left the Building!” The purpose of this blog is really for me to share moments in my life that have been seemingly insignificant or slight at first glance, but turn out to send me in directions I never expected. I am almost 44 years old and for some reason, I think I should share some of these things and at least leave some sort of record. For me personally, it’s the small experiences that take place in the moment, that permeate and grow into greater understandings as time marches on. Oh yeah.... there will be poetry as well!

I didn’t grow up loving soccer. Where I am from, it was played by the more affluent kids from in town. I grew up in the rural county and we played basketball, baseball, and of course.... American football. No soccer loving socialist here! Or so I thought.... I’m pretty liberal, so I would laugh at that if someone said that to me!

Back to the oratory....

If I knew of anyone that played that strange sport called soccer, I made fun of them and would comment about how “I would rather watch paint dry!” Self-righteous to the core.

This went on for years and years and then early in January 2012, I was home sick on a Sunday afternoon and soccer was the only thing that was on that I hadn’t already seen. I was bored with marathon style police and home improvement shows, and the Dallas Cowboys were not on TV that day.

But that Sunday, something caught my attention....

It was the crowd....the chanting and the singing in unison was the thing I didn’t hear in American football...or the traditional “American” sports in general. The fans were also way closer to the field (“pitch” I’d later learn)...As I was laying there with a 100 + temp and trying not to cough up both lungs simultaniously, I perked up just a bit. I didn’t even know who was playing at first...Arsenal and Fulham, I found out after a few minutes. Ironically, Arsenal was playing in the first match I ever paid attention to, but would eventually become a hated rival! I refer to them as just “Arse” now, because who would pull for Arsenal? Ugggh.

I was 36 years old in 2012 and had never given soccer or football a second thought, other than the obligatory glance on ESPN during World Cup. Brazil and Holland seemed cool because of their uniforms (I would later know are called kits), but that’s about it. My friend Wellington had told me a story about visiting his home in Brazil, once during a World Cup qualifier, and hearing a collective roar through the hillside when they scored a goal that would send them on to the next round. Apparently, the folks in the village had pulled their tv sets out into the streets to watch the match communally. I always enjoyed that story, but didn’t really understand what that meant...The collective power of community and sport. In the poorest of areas, the hope of a nation can rest on one simple goal. I’ve grown to understand and appreciate so many things about the healing power of football over the past eight years.

But on that day in January, something awoke from inside me and I had an epiphany.... 36 years in the making. Every sport or sports team I followed has been assigned to me, or I liked them because of a family member or friend. This was like discovering this obscure band that no one else you knew had ever heard of.... but they were yours.... Finding “real” football...was like this.

I was entranced and mesmerized by the beauty, aggression, skill, balance, speed, and lack of scoring! I thought of this as a brilliant chess match...In later years, I love that the lack of scoring is a real problem for “Arse”, but I found it interesting that in traditional American sports, scoring is always the focus. In soccer, a 0-0 draw or a 1-0 (nil) win is just as enthralling because of the flow and strategic patterns of the game. I truly can’t explain that realization any better...it just came to me and with that observation, epiphany, the crowd chanting and singing, I knew I was hooked.... My 100+ temp seemed to break and I was sweating by the end of this prolific 1-1 draw.

Thank God for the internet and Wikipedia....that afternoon, I knew that I had to find a team....and by the grace of God, it was not going to be Arsenal! Their manager Arsene (accent mark somewhere hahaha) Wenger, looked like the old man, Mr. Burns, from the Simpsons. Probably a nice guy, but there was something about him I didn’t like.

I didn’t have a smart phone then and I was teaching English at a local high school. Before school every morning for two weeks, I read the Wikipedia of every team that was in the Premier League in 2012. I started with some criteria:

A. I wanted a team that wasn’t (to my knowledge) a household name in America. I learned later my team was VERY popular and hated! So, no Manchester United or Liverpool off the top. They are both American owned. My team is Russian Billionaire owned, it turns out, and very well supported globally.

B. They had to have a winning tradition (yep...no losers for me)

C. No red teams (my Knicks, Cowboys, Yankees, Duke Blue Devils are all blue)

D. Need to be in the southern or southeastern part of England (where my mom’s side of the family are from)

E. Must have a crazy intense fan base (I knew a little about hooliganism...Unfortunately my team had a past history with that ugly aspect in the 1980’s and more than I knew at the time.)

So with that criteria in place I narrowed it down to five teams...I have forgotten all five sadly, but three of them were Chelsea, Tottenham Hotspur (who I fortunately didn’t pick), and Queen’s Park Rangers (who were relegated shortly thereafter). Look up relegation and what it means, if you are mildly bored. I did initially!

I wrote them down and had my 5-year-old son, Rowan, pick them one at a time out of my sweat-stained Yankees hat!

Then on that glorious and beautiful day in January 2012, with his last pick, Rowan picked the mighty Chelsea Blues out of that hat!

It was all over from that point forward...I watched “real” football obsessively from that moment on. I had 5 cable channels devoted to football and European sports, and I learned the chants and songs sung from the terraces at Stamford Bridge (Chelsea’s sacred fortress). I learned the rules by reading all I could (offsides was a struggle to understand), and the points system for the many leagues and tiers associated with global football. I will say, however, that the only way to really learn about football, is to watch a lot of football. I studied the history of Chelsea FC and became educated about the legends and current superstars associated with the club...countless Facebook and YouTube clips of Chelsea’s greatest moments.

This amazing trip I’ve been on, ever since that sick and near-death day in January 2012, has given me so many great moments...Ironically in the first year of my fandom, Chelsea raised the Champions League trophy (look it up) and became the first London based club to ever win it. It’s the quintessential competition to win...It’s like winning 5 Super Bowls at once!

There is so much more that I want to say about this, or about the major moment’s I’ve had watching football with my closest Chelsea loving mate, Andrew Barlow, my 4 Chelsea FC related tattoos, my Chelsea FC adorned office, but blogs are supposed to be short, I know. I’ll close by saying that no matter how old you think you are, you are never too old to change your mind-set about something and, yes, people won’t understand it, and people like “the old me” will make fun of you, but so what?! Your internal passion about something you love intuitively will always be greater than their fear of things they don’t understand!

Next week....Meeting Herbie Hancock in a gas station! Stay riveted!

[romancandlemagazine]

An Interview with Peter Saville

Peter Saville doesn’t need much of an introduction. Not only was he the man responsible for what might be called the ‘visual language’ of Factory Records, designing record covers for the likes of Joy Division, New Order and A Certain Ratio, but he’s also produced powerful imagery for David Byrne, Suede, Pulp, George Michael and countless other icons of audio.

And, if all that wasn’t enough, he came up with that dynamic logo that’s on the side of those yellow trams that roll through Piccadilly Gardens every few minutes.

I called him up to talk about his work today, Manchester in the 70s and his idea of 'the interzone'.

Are you busy at the moment, have you got a lot on?

Yes, even when I think I’m not busy, things just seem to come up. As you get older you tend to think things will change, but actually, they don’t change at all. Anyway, it’s better to have something to do than nothing, so I’m not going to complain.

What have you been up to lately?

The highest profile project over the last 12 months has been Calvin Klein  — the redesign of the Calvin Klein identity for Raf Simons.

What does that involve then? What would you call that? Is it ‘branding’?

I try to avoid the term ‘branding’. It’s a useful word to understand the context of the work, but it’s not a process that I wish to perform. It’s a strange hybrid between design, advertising and PR. It’s almost entirely commercial, and therefore, it’s not something I want to be involved with.

So you’re not getting bogged down with the commercial stuff?

The capturing of markets and controlling of markets is not something that I wish to be associated with. My work, and any reputation I have, is based on giving something to people, not leading them to a market.

The Factory Records covers were not about making people buy the records. They didn’t even try to make people buy the record. They existed independently to the music, and therefore people’s relationships with them were quite different. The people who liked the covers or became interested in the covers saw them as possessions - they learnt through them, things they maybe didn’t know before.

Was that the intention of those covers? To show people the things you were into?

That was my intention. I was learning and so, I was sharing. The nature of Factory Records was that I had complete autonomy to do that. There was no marketing and no one was trying trying to sell records. Factory was a situation that allowed a group of individuals to do what they wanted to do. If other people liked it and supported it, then fine.

That was what Factory was about. And it was the same with The Haçienda. It wasn’t run as a business, trying to take money off the kids of Manchester, it was a gift to the kids of Manchester.

Something separate from money and business?

Yes,  you did it because you could. But you’ll know very well that in the contemporary market place, there are very few companies who are doing things just because they can. They do things to make money. That’s business.

For a period of time in my career, I needed to engage with business. I was not an up-and-coming young designer, nor was I a ‘statesman’ of popular culture — it was an in-between period - in the ‘90s I needed to have a relationship with business.

Everyone’s got to eat.

Yes exactly, you’ve got to make a living. I had this uneasy relationship with different sectors, but I didn’t find a comfort zone for myself.

So at the end of the 90s, I stopped looking. I did a retrospective book and a show, and I closed the studio. I didn’t want to go into fashion marketing or branding or retail. I didn’t really want to do that. So I just had to be on my own. Since the early 2000s, I’ve operated independently.

I suppose you’re maybe in a comfortable position where you can pick and choose a bit, thanks to all the things you’ve done in the past.

I’m fortunate that just enough people engage me with work and commissions that I can address on my terms.

When Raf Simons phoned and asked me to look at the issue of the Calvin Klein identity – I was able to identify with his position. He is not Calvin Klein — Calvin Klein is Calvin Klein, and Raf is someone else. So I had to say to myself, “If I was in Raf’s position, what would I do?” So I changed the original Calvin Klein lettering from upper and lower case to upper case – it became capitals. It’s evolved from the subjective to the objective, but it still looks like Calvin Klein.

When you’re asked to intervene in aspects of cultural history, it’s quite an honour. You feel a sense of responsibility in responding to the challenge.

To respect what’s gone before?

Exactly. So in certain situations, I’m really happy to do that. But when someone is approaching me with something that has absolutely no virtue other than profit, because I don’t have a company to carry, I don’t have to do it.

When I first started to learn about art and design history, I was frustrated. Going right back to the ‘70s in Manchester, I would sit in the library at what was then Manchester Polytechnic, looking at the history of art and design, and simultaneously looking out of the window at Oxford Road, and feeling an enormous disconnect, and a sense of frustration. I was angry.

Because you were so far away from the things you were reading about?

Yes, because the everyday world wasn’t the way it could be.

What was it like back then?

It was terrible. When I was 20, in 1975, buses, cinemas, bus stops, railway stations, department stores, taxis, packaging, signs, logos… they were appalling. There wasn’t any awareness of contemporary design — of how design led thinking could make things better. That frustrated and upset me. And I felt very strongly then, as I do know, that our everyday world can be better.

Now what ‘better’ is, is a kind of variable. We saw a lot of ‘design’ begin to get rolled out in the 80s and 90s, but then it got rolled out to the point of ad infinitum, and lost its significance.  

Things merely only looking good is not necessarily better, and an awful lot of art and design has been co-opted to camouflage the intent of things. And that’s not better. Using our cultural heritage, our civilisation, to sell mobile phone minutes or cheap holidays or gratuitous fashion — using it as merely packaging for the unnecessary — isn’t good.

And a lot of that started to happen. Business, as ever, takes a lead from the avant-garde, and begins to copy it, but without values.  I try to do things well, and to improve the look of things that have values. But if it’s something with no values, it’s kind of wrong to wrap it up as something important.

There’s a lot of that these days… a lot of things look pretty slick, but beyond the fancy shell, there’s not much to them.

The one thing that has upset me over the last 20 years is the way that the canon of culture has been used in ways that we no longer trust. 30 years ago if you did something better, it meant it was better… someone was trying to make a better pair of jeans or a better car. But now, it’s just a look.

I suppose it’s hard to put effort and thought into something you’ve got no belief in.

Exactly. As you grow up and get to understand the world better, you question things. Some of the things I used to take for granted when I was 25 or 30 — I now look at in a completely different way. Once upon a time I might have thought it was nice to do the identity for something like a bank. But who wants to work for a bank now? They’ve shown themselves to be utterly disreputable.

So the understanding of the work and the world and the people who approach is constantly changing. You have to try to hold on to your own values. My reputation, the fact that some people have some admiration for me, is because my work meant something to them.

But if you suddenly starting doing some naff work for a bank, it’d discount all that.

Exactly. I became more concerned with my own identity than in just being prepared to work for people who’d pay me money. And I’m quite happy being me, trying as much as I can to be genuine about the things I do. It’s not easy. We have to earn a living, so it’s not all spiritual… we have to engage with reality.

Going back to what you were saying about looking after Oxford Road and feeling distanced and frustrated. Was that what spurred you on to do those first designs for Factory?

In 1978, the year I graduated from college, I wasn’t being asked to do anything for the infrastructure of the country. But someone did ask me to do a poster. There were things happening – the whole post-punk scene and the notion of independence in music. All of the venues that Manchester had for punk and new wave bands were being closed for one reason or another, and on behalf of the youth culture of the city, Tony Wilson took it upon himself to organise a venue.

Factory was nothing more than what is referred to these days as ‘a night’. It was Friday night every two weeks for two months, and that was it. I knew he was doing this, so I went to see him and said, “Can I do something.” And he said, “Do a poster.”

In doing that poster, I tried to put a better poster, a more intelligent and more beautiful poster, on the walls of Manchester than the ones that were already there. And that led to Factory records where I was given the freedom to express my will and my wish for how things should be,

It was an autonomous situation; it was not a proper company and everybody what they did in the way they wanted to do it. Nobody had any former experience, no one told anyone else how they should do what they were doing, we all performed autonomously. It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

Were you ever questioned or disputed at all?

Not really no. Famously, ‘Blue Monday’ went straight from me to the printers. No one saw it.

Did you listen to the music when you were designing the covers?

If I could, but very often that wasn’t possible. But the covers weren’t about the music, they were about the moment. But then the bands were making music about the moment too.

There was always accidental parallels. I was into the aesthetics of computer systems that people were talking about a lot in the 70s and 80s. I didn’t have a computer – it wasn’t a part of everyday life, but people talked about them in the way that people talk about artificial intelligence now. You haven’t met a robot, but you know they’re coming.

So in the late 70s and 80s, computers were on my mind, and I was thinking about the visual side of it. And at the same time, New Order were looking at the significance of computers in making music. So what I did on the cover of Blue Monday had a parallel to what they did. In fact, the floppy disk was the common factor between the two. The first time I saw a floppy disk was the day Stephen Morris gave me one, and that became the basis for the cover.

It wasn’t about the music; it was about music as part of our culture. We were interested in the now. They expressed it musically, I expressed it visually.

The significant word to mention in any kind of understanding of me is the word ‘interzone’.

What do you mean by that? What is the ‘interzone’?

The interzone is the space between design, art, fashion, music, movies, photography, architecture, interior… it’s what people talk about now as convergence. And that was what interested me, even as a teenager. I was interested in the leading edge of mass culture, and how the new ideas would define themselves in different ways.

The feeling of the now is the feeling of the now. Musicians express it one way, film-makers express it another way and photographers express it in yet another way – but it’s all the same spirit. We know that now.

It’s all the same thing.

It’s all the same thing. That was my view 40 years ago in college, it’s just that I happened to want make art, which I saw as record covers, so I went to study graphic design. But what I found there was a closed mind-set — graphic people were into graphics, and weren’t very aware of what fashion or music was doing. This notion of the interzone wasn’t really appreciated.

I was never particularly interested in graphics or typography, I was interested in how two dimensional culture could capture the mood of the moment — the feeling of the now. So I studied graphics, but I spent more time in the fashion department than the graphics department.

If you just started pasting posters up yourself, but they weren’t linked with music or an event, they would just be a bit of paper on a wall. They might be interesting, but they wouldn’t be tied in with anything.

If you just make work that is not applied to any situation, then it’s art. These days art is quite a credible thing to do, but in the mid-70s in the North of England, you were more likely to  become an astronaut then be an artist.

The only art that I saw was on record covers, so I wanted to do record covers. The record cover was the only place where you could see freeform visual thinking.

So Malcolm Garrett and I both wanted to do that. In a way we both wanted to be artists, but we didn’t know anything about art. So what was important to me was this broader feeling of the now.

As someone who is so into ‘the now’, what are your thoughts on the nostalgia that surrounds Factory? Why do you think people look back at that stuff so fondly?

I think there’s nostalgia about things that seem to have values. People are seeking authenticity and meaning. So things that have authenticity and meaning never die, because they’re more than just surface.

People still talk about Coco Chanel because she changed the way women could be in the world. She didn’t found Chanel to make money, she found Chanel to express herself and what she cared about.

Companies exploit these values — they continuously harvest them like GM crops, to the point that the market and the audience become tired of it. But they’ll carry on wringing it out until there’s nothing left. It’s desperate and it’s tedious to see the way the world operates.

In regards to the nostalgia thing, do you think people often take the wrong things from history? Instead of being inspired by the free way you lot worked at Factory, people just rip off your graphics.

Yes, unfortunately the mass market can be rather superficial. They get the look more than the attitude. But it’s a long process of familiarisation. We are living in an era of the dissemination of privilege, it is really only in the last 50 to 100 years that ordinary people have actually been allowed to share in privilege.

Do you think the internet has had an effect on that?

It’s one step forward, one step back. The internet allows for the unfettered distribution of a message, and at the same time it allows for confusion and fake news. The problem with the internet is trying to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not.

Almost everything that we invent which is a benefit to society just becomes a problem sooner or later. The motorcar was brilliant – now it’s a problem. That’s just life.

Where do you see things going?

I don’t know. I don’t care anymore. Next month I’m 62. It is other people’s responsibility now. I don’t have any children, but if I did, I would be very concerned. I’m passing the baton of the ones coming up.

What would you say to them as you pass the proverbial baton?

Do things you believe in. There’s a constant battle between good and bad, but as least if you do things you believe in, you’re trying to keep it on the right side of good.

It’s very difficult for every new generation, as they face a new set of challenges that the generation before didn’t even dream of. I thought I had a lot of people to compete with in the 80s, but now there is a 1000 times more. It’s really difficult.

It’s not even easy to find somewhere to live, or to find a job of any kind. The safety net that I sensed as a young person in the UK in the 70s – how the state would stop you from falling – is not there anymore. I think it’s increasingly difficult for every next generation.

As far as you can, try to do what you believe in, because then you hold on to yourself. I don’t really have much money – I don’t own my home, but I’m happy with what I’ve done. I might regret some mistakes I made, but I don’t regret the work I made.  

Interview originally published in 2018. 

[master-sass-blast]

Pride

WE INTERRUPT THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED CONTENT BECAUSE-

LADIES, LORDS, AND NOBLE GENTRY OF NON-CONFORMING GENDER IDENTITIES-

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING PRIDE MONTH!!!!

And the way I see it, we can’t do Pride month without having at least one (1) Pride themed fic. Which is why I stopped working on the previously scheduled content for this week and busted out a Pride themed fic instead!

Which is this fic here! In case... that wasn’t... clear...

Anywho.

Summary: You and Piotr take some of the teens at the X-Mansion to New York City’s Pride festival --and meet some interesting people while you’re there.

Rating: T for moderate language. If it wasn’t for that, this fic would be G.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.

(Author’s Note One: I know that Kitty is alluded to possibly being bisexual in some of the comics. Here, she’s queer in the sense that she doesn’t quite know where she lands yet, but she knows she’s not straight. Considering I have her around 17, I figured having her be a little more ambiguous --since she’s in the early stages of her journey in discovering herself--was fitting.

Author’s Note Two: I headcanon Illyana as asexual. Also, asexual/aromantic people belong in the queer community/at Pride. If you don’t like any of that, die mad about it.

Author’s Note Three: Lzzy Hale does identify as bisexual/pansexual, which is why I decided to write in Halestorm performing at Pride (aside from my obsession with them). Basically, I just want to be clear that I’m not writing in a straight person performing at a Pride festival, say, for instance, Ariana Grande. *side-eyes Manchester*

Author’s Note Four: Your sexuality, as the Reader, is kept entirely ambiguous. There are several sexuality and/or gender identities (and combinations therein) that “allow” for being attracted to and in a relationship with a cisgender, heterosexual man (which is how I write Piotr), so I didn’t want to stick a label on the Reader’s “character” and ruin the immersion for everyone who doesn’t identify with that label. If you do identify as queer, then feel free to imagine yourself in whatever Pride themed gear you have, and as attending Pride as a queer person in a relationship with a straight person! If not, your role in the story is strictly what it says in the fic: to help Piotr chaperone the teens and to support the students in embracing the most authentic versions of themselves, whatever that may be! Just so we’re all clear.)

Tag list: @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie

“—and stay together… Kitty, are you listening?”

“What? Oh, yeah, totally!”

You can’t help but chuckle at your boyfriend’s exasperated expression as Kitty Pryde, one of the latest teen trainees to come to Xavier’s, continues bouncing back and forth to whatever song she was listening to on her phone.

Summer’s normally a low-key time for the Institute. Most of the students only stay for the traditional school year, which means that the summer season sees a mass exodus of most of the mansion’s temporary residents and trainees. Save for missions and training, summer’s usually an entirely dialed back, relaxed affair.

Except for June.

One thing you’ve learned since arriving at Xavier’s is that minority groups have a way of overlapping. Several of the mutants that attend Xavier’s identify as queer in some way, shape, or form –and most of the permanent residents were queer as well, having been kicked out of their homes for the identity and genetics.

Sad as the rejection rates are, you’ve witnessed firsthand just how hard the staff at Xavier’s worked to make sure that all their residents feel accepted, supported, and loved.

Including taking teenaged and adult residents to New York City’s annual Pride festival.

Illyana, already decked out in her usual muted colors and a shirt dyed with the asexual Pride flag colors, purses her lips as Kitty bobs her head back and forth. “Katya –Katya, sit still.”

“I am!” Kitty insists as she continues bouncing up and down and mouthing the lyrics to whatever she’s listening to. “I’m totally chill!”

You bite back a snort as Illyana narrows her eyes—

And then the blonde teen yanks none too gently on Kitty’s hair.

“Ow!” Kitty shrieks, dropping her phone as she claps her hands to her head. “What the heck!”

“You want hair braided, da?” Illyana plucks the earbuds out of her friend’s ears and tilts Kitty’s head back so the –barely—younger teen can see her displeased expression. “Sit. Still.”

“Gentle, snezhinka,” Piotr says to his baby sister, tone warning.

“Yeah,” Kitty agrees, smoothing her shirt with a rainbow patterned Star of David silk-screened on the front. “Chill out, ‘yana.”

“Are we almost ready?” Ellie asks as she bounds into the kitchen, Yukio hot on her heels. “We need to leave in ten minutes if we want to get a good spot to see Halestorm play.”

Piotr had volunteered –and you along with him—to chaperone the trip this year, which basically amounted to herding a bunch of particularly fickle cats all over the place.

“Chill, dude,” Kitty says as she tries to reach for her phone. “It’s just a rock band.”

“Just a rock band?” Ellie and Illyana say simultaneously, aghast.

“Are you sure we have this handled?” you whisper to your boyfriend as Ellie and Illyana both start in on separate rants about Lzzy Hale’s status as a queer woman and the classifications of rock versus metal music, respectively.

“I am having second thoughts,” Piotr admits, grimacing slightly. “But I think it will all be worth-while at conclusion.”

You smile and kiss his shoulder. “I think so, too.”

“Wait, are you still in your pajama pants?” Ellie props herself up on the counter –and, sure enough, Kitty’s only half-dressed. “Are you fucking serious, Pryde? Do you want us to end up at the fucking fringes?”

“Language, NTW,” Piotr interjects before things can get too out of hand. “Self-control, please. Kitty, why are you not dressed?”

“Well, ‘yana was going to braid my hair—”

“Which I cannot do—” Illyana yanks Kitty’s head up again, prompting another yelp from the brunette “—if you keep moving!”

Kitty glares at her impromptu stylist. “You’re a real sadist, you know.”

“Okay,” you say, picking up Kitty’s phone and earbuds and holding them out of reach. “How about you sit still and let Illyana do your hair, and then go get dressed. Ellie, why don’t you work with Piotr and get us packed up, if you’re so worried about being late.”

“Good idea, Y/N,” Piotr says, mouthing a quick “thank you” at you when Kitty finally sits still with a huff.

You wink and blow a kiss at him, then turn when the back door swings open.

Wade strolls in, wearing a black t-shirt that says “It’s time to pan-ic” with the text colored like the pansexual pride flag; Nathan follows, wearing a tank top that says “Bi until I die” with each row of text matching an individual stripe from the bisexual pride flag.

Kitty grins. “Damn. Looking cool, dudes.”

“Always do, Snickers.”

Illyana blinks. “What?”

“He started calling me ‘Kit-Kat,’” Kitty explains with a resigned sigh. “And then it just escalated into other candies.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sour lemon drop.”

Your snort and shake your head before heading off to help Piotr and Ellie pack up the car.

***

Fortunately for Kitty’s existence and Ellie’s sanity, you arrive with plenty of time to get a good spot for the Pride concert.

“Sunscreen,” Piotr insists before Ellie can dart off to get the best possible spot remaining. He clasps her shoulder and holds a bottle of SPF 100 out to her. “Please and thank you.”

“No way!” Kitty gripes when Piotr holds a second bottle out to her. “I want to tan.”

“You’re ninety percent European Jew by ancestry,” Ellie fires off. “You’ll just burn.”

“Yeah, but it’ll turn into a tan. Duh.”

“Use the sunscreen,” Wade says with a cheery smile as he puts on a lightweight hoodie and a baseball cap. “If you don’t, you’ll wind up looking like me.”

Kitty grimaces and recoils. “Ew!”

“Be nice!” Illyana hisses, elbowing her friend in the side.

“It’s all good,” Wade says with a shrug as Kitty starts slathering herself in sunscreen. “I’m all for scaring people into making better life choices.”

***

The lot of you manage to get a spot about thirty feet back from the stage where most of the artists are performing. With Wade in a hoodie and cap and Nathan in a jacket and sunglasses, no one even gives you a second glance.

And then Halestorm comes onstage, and the music kicks in, and then the amount of glances you get plunges into the negative numbers.

Not that you can blame anyone for it. The energy the band manages to kick up is astounding.

Ellie looks like she’s seeing the face of God for the first time. She’s more animated than you’ve ever seen her, singing along to the lyrics of every song with flawless accuracy.

You and Piotr share a smile behind her back. So precious.

Halfway through the set, Piotr kneels down and puts his trainee up on his shoulders so she has a better view of the stage.

You manage to snap a quick picture of Ellie’s grinning face. That’s one for the memory books.

***

Ellie practically dives off Piotr’s shoulders once Halestorm walks off the stage.

“Blyad!” Piotr yelps, startled –Illyana barks out a quick laugh—as he catches Ellie from face-planting into the pavement. “Slow down!”

“Okay, I get why you were so excited to see them live,” Kitty says, grinning. “Lzzy’s super hot.”

“Told you,” Illyana and Ellie say in unison.

Ellie starts rummaging through her bag. “My aunt got us VIP passes to go to the signing. If we leave now, we should get there when things kick off.”

“Yeah, right,” Kitty argues. “We’re basically at the front of the crowd. There’s no way we’ll get there ahead of everyone else.”

Illyana’s eyes light up. “Everyone, grab on to me.”

Piotr frowns. “Snezhinka, nyet—”

She smiles impishly at her older brother as Ellie, Yukio, Kitty, Wade, and Nate grab onto her arms. “Sozhaleyu, medvezhonok.”

And then she winks out of view, taking everyone with her.

You bite back a laugh as Piotr’s expression morphs into one of brotherly fury. “Come on. We can check out the vendor stalls while they get their autographs.”

“Except Kitty, Yukio, and Ellie are all minors, and I am responsible for them as chaperone.”

“Oh. Right.” You do laugh this time, then squeeze his hand when he gives you a consternated look. “Well, let’s go collect our kids, then.”

***

By the time the two of you reach the autograph area, Nathan and Wade already have the teens waiting outside the security checkpoint.

Ellie’s practically vibrating with excitement as she shoves a CD case with a silver signature inked on it in Piotr’s face. “Check it out!”

“Very nice,” Piotr says with a smile equal parts indulgent and fond.

“She signed my hand, too!”

“And now you’re never going to wash that hand again,” Wade jokes.

“No,” Ellie says with a frown. “That’s gross, even by your standards.”

“Not really, considering I never wash my hands to begin with.”

Kitty gags and claps a hand over her mouth. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Alright, everyone,” you say with an amused eye roll. “Let’s go find a place to sit for lunch.”

***

You wind up running into some of the college students and other fledgling adults that train with the X-Men and end up sitting with them.

“Yeah, my aunt brought me to the parade last year,” Ellie says, recounting her first experience with Pride. “After I came out.”

Wade nods, genuinely listening and conversing for once. “‘Ness and I went together each year after we got together.”

“Cool.”

“I got arrested by a cop one year for streaking.”

“Not cool.”

“I went to Tokyo Pride with my older brothers last year,” Yukio chimes in, smiling happily as she munches away at a sandwich. “What about you, Illyana?”

“Ah, not so much for me,” Illyana says, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Russia… does not have as much for us.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve got Colossus here,” Kitty pipes up around a mouthful of pizza. “You can celebrate with us.”

Illyana favors the brunette with a small smile. “Da.”

“What about you, Cable?” Yukio asks, smiling sweetly. “Are there Pride celebrations in the future?”

“Not really,” Nathan replies. “We’re too busy trying to survive and win the war against Apocalypse to have parades.”

Kitty pinches the bridge of her nose. “Jesus Christ, you’re so depressing.”

Nathan smirks. “There’s not as much fuss about sexuality, either. Or polyamory. Love is love, and considering the people that you love might be gone in a moment, you have to make every second count.”

“At least you got that right,” Ellie mutters.

Wade elbows his boyfriend in the side. “C’mon, Cabesy. You have to admit—” he waves a hand grandly at the bright, colorful celebration all around you “—that this isn’t half bad.”

Nate’s smirk grows into a smile, and he concedes with a nod. “Not half bad at all.”

***

The lot of you spend the rest of the afternoon checking out the various stalls and vendor stands.

A lot of them are being run by corporate representatives. An… alarming number, really.

Nathan scowls when you pass by a booth being run by Comcast, of all things. “I thought this was supposed to be a celebration for the queer community.”

“It is,” Wade says. “At its core, it is.”

“The capitalist death machine knows no boundaries or sense of appropriateness,” Ellie says flatly.

“This is part of the problem, you know,” Nate growls, jerking his thumb at the Comcast booth. “Corporations keep sinking their claws into everything they can and milk it for all it’s worth. When they finally collapse, there isn’t anything left for the rest of humanity.”

“Okay, maybe save the depressing stuff for later?” Kitty pipes up.

“It’s okay.” Wade squeezes Nathan’s hand. “We can maim the Comcast CEO later this week if you want.”

“Nyet,” Piotr interjects. “Absolutely not.”

Wade waves a dismissive hand at your boyfriend. “Relax, Chrome Dome. I didn’t say you had to come along.”

“How about we save all conversations relating to bodily harm of others until we’re not within earshot of minors and a thousand or so witnesses,” you hiss before an actual disagreement can break out. “Capiche?”

***

Towards the end of your time at the festival, you all wind up stumbling across a photography group run by queer individuals. The banner over the table reads “Snapshot Studios” in crisp, jet black letters, and countless shots of people, animals, and nature shots are on display for everyone to see.

“Wow,” Kitty says, admiring a picture of a sunset over a lake. “This is seriously cool.”

“Thank you,” a young man with curly hair that’s been dyed blue says. He extends his hand and introduces himself as Aiden, one of the principle photographers for the studio. “We’re in the middle of doing a Pride-themed series, for obvious reasons. You can check it out on our website.” He hands out business cards to each of you. “If any of you are interested in participating, you can contact us at the email address on the card. There’s no fee involved; we just take your picture and ask you questions about your experience as a queer person.” He glances off to the side, where Wade’s staring intently at one of the pictures. “Hey, buddy. You like the look of something?”

You crane your neck to see which picture Wade’s looking at, and –oh. That’s a familiar face.

Wade gazes longingly at a picture of Vanessa, dressed up in a strappy black dress and winking at the camera. He lifts his hand, almost as though he wants to reach out and touch her face, then clearly thinks better of it and jams it in his sweatshirt pocket.

“That’s from our sex worker positivity collection,” Aiden says, still studying Wade carefully.

“I know,” Wade says, somewhat sadly. “That’s my ex-girlfriend.”

Aiden’s eyebrows shoot up. “Oh. Uh… I take it things didn’t work out?”

Wade grimaces. “She died.”

“Shit. I’m sorry, man.” Aiden regards Wade thoughtfully for a moment, then reaches over and takes down Vanessa’s picture. “Here.” He holds the picture out to Wade. “Take it home with you. No charge.”

Wade blinks at him for a moment, shocked, then gently takes the photo out of Aiden’s hands. He gazes down at it for a moment, tracing Vanessa’s face lovingly, then reaches out for Nathan’s hand before looking back up at Aiden. “Thank you.”

Nate squeezes Wade’s hand gently, a soft smile on his face.

“No problem, man. Hey, if you don’t mind my asking, are you a burn victim?”

“Ah, no.” Wade shrugs one shoulder, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “Mutation side effect.”

“You’re a mutant?” Aiden’s eyebrows go up again.

“We all are,” you clarify, gesturing at your little group.

“Really? That’s super cool. I had no idea.”

“It’s not exactly something we show off,” Ellie pipes up. “There aren’t many mutations that alter physical appearance, either.”

“Makes sense,” Aiden says, nodding. “So, did you guys just happen to meet up with each other, or…”

“We work with Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters,” Piotr says, handing Aiden a business card of his own as he steps into the conversation for the first time.

Aiden grins as he eyes the card. “So, you’re X-Men. I thought you guys were on full-time hero duty.”

“They have a rotating schedule,” Wade interjects.

“We also have to take care of students,” Piotr says, eyeing Wade sternly. “Part of that is ensuring they connect to necessary communities.”

“That’s super dope, man. I know a lot of parents who wouldn’t do that.”

You have to drift away at that point to keep an eye on Kitty and Illyana, who’ve wandered down a few booths. By the time you get them to circle back to Piotr and the rest of the group, Piotr and Aiden seem to be wrapping up what seems like an intense discussion.

You eye your boyfriend quizzically as you all head back to the car. “What was that all about?”

Piotr smiles as he tucks Aiden’s business card into his wallet. “Networking.”

***

It takes a couple weeks, but you eventually figure out what “networking” means.

As chance would have it, Aiden and his coworkers are extremely interested in including mutants in this year’s Pride-themed photography series. It takes a little finagling to get some of the waivers worked out for the underage students who want to participate, and then it takes even more finagling to get a date and mutant safe location worked out, but eventually everything smooths out.

They wind up setting up in one of the training rooms first –to get the shots that require powers like Ellie’s or Russell’s, which means that the training rooms are the safest place to set up—then move out to the grounds behind the manor for the rest of the shoot.

Ellie’s aunt, Brie Phimister –who’s a spitting image of Ellie, just with wavy hair and a slightly longer face—shows up for the second part of the shoot, decked out in her Pride gear.

“So, you’re a mutant, too?” one of Aiden’s coworkers –CJ, you think—asks while Aiden gets shots of Ellie, Brie, and Yukio together.

“Yup,” you confirm, popping the ‘p.’ “I can control air –which basically means I can fly plus some fun stuff.”

“That’s super rad,” probably CJ says with a lax grin. “Hey –Aiden! She can fly!”

“No way.” Aiden grins back at you once he finishes taking his latest set of shots. “Stick around until the end. I’d like to get some shots of that, if that’s cool with you.”

You grin back. “Sure thing.”

***

It’s late evening by the time everything wraps up.

Kitty mugs for the camera like she’s born for it, and almost seems a little put out by being told to head inside.

The highlight of the whole thing, though (in your opinion), are the shots CJ manages to get of Nathan and Wade.

Wade, unsurprisingly, seemed a bit nervous about having his picture taken. He’d been stiff, barely smiling or looking at the camera—

And then Nathan had looped an arm around his boyfriend’s neck and pressed a fat kiss against Wade’s cheek.

The smile that had broken out across Wade’s face was nothing short of wonderful.

The other highlight of the day is when Piotr comes out as things wrap up, armored up and in his X-Men uniform.

Aiden gawks, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as Piotr strolls towards everyone. “Holy fucking shit!”

“Language, please,” Piotr says with a polite gesture towards Ellie and Yukio. “Young ones are present.”

Aiden blinks, clearly thrown, but recovers quickly enough. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, dude. You look seriously cool.”

“That’s what I said when I first met him,” you comment, grinning widely at your boyfriend.

“Understandable.” Aiden looks over at you. “And you can fly?”

You summon an air current by way of answering and lift yourself a few feet off the ground, twirling and somersaulting slowly as you drift towards the sky.

“Okay, can you do that again?” Aiden asks as he gets his camera ready. “Except over here –yeah, perfect. Okay, go! Alright, look at me and smile –eh, a little more teeth… perfect…”

You do as you’re told, grinning and twirling in the air while Aiden gets the shots he wants. “How do I look, babe?” you ask Piotr with a giggle.

He smiles fondly at you. “Very beautiful, myshka.”

“You two are together?” Aiden asks.

“Yup!” You smile brightly –and Aiden snaps another quick picture. “Have been for a while now.”

“We could get some really good pictures of them,” another coworker with bright purple hair –you think her name is Violet, which would make sense—points out. “The contrast of their mutations would make for great thematic storytelling, visually speaking.”

Aiden hums thoughtfully, finger tapping against his camera while he considers the idea. “It really would. Are you two okay with that?”

“I’m down.” You look to Piotr. “Is that okay with you?”

He shrugs and moves to stand next to you. “Konechno.”

You use your mutation to plop yourself down on his shoulders and brace yourself against his head. “How’s this?”

“Not bad,” Aiden says, getting his camera ready once more. “Lean to the side and forward a little more –yeah, keep your hair away from your face, good. Okay, now you put your hands on her legs or something, like you’re helping her balance… perfect. Okay, neither of you move for a minute.” He snaps a few pictures, then chuckles. “Dude, you are too tall for some of this. Is there a stool I can use?”

“I’ll get one,” Ellie says before trotting off to the house.

***

You spend the next hour posing with and without Piotr in various positions, from sitting on his shoulders, to him holding you in his arms, to you flying above him and him smiling up at you.

Aiden jumps on and off the stool Ellie fetched for him, lays down on the ground, and does just about every conceivable thing to get the shots he wants. When the light gets too dim, he and his coworkers break out their lighting rigs and keep going.

“Y’all are seriously dedicated to this,” you comment at one point, genuinely impressed.

“You can’t have a life’s passion without actually being passionate,” Violet says with a smile.

After a while, Aiden breaks out a tripod and a camera specifically designed for slow motion and has Piotr go in and out of defense mode a few times.

“Wow,” you breathe when Aiden shows you a shot where Piotr’s face is slowly morphing into his armor. “That’s amazing.”

“No kidding,” Aiden agrees. “I think this will go on the front of the mutant spread we talked about.”

You furrow your brow, confused. “Am I missing something?”

“Back at the vendor booth,” Aiden explains. “We talked about including mutants in our Pride themed collection, but we also discussed releasing a series that focused solely on mutants once Pride month was over.” He gestures to the screen, where Piotr’s face is still visible. “This is a gorgeous shot. I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

Piotr checks the shot when Aiden holds the camera out for him to see, then shrugs somewhat sheepishly. “If you think it works.”

“I do. Okay, I’ve got one last concept I want to do, if you guys are willing.”

“What’re you thinking?” you ask.

“I was thinking we could have your man get into his armor, and then pick you up and give you a kiss, and then un-armor while he’s kissing you.” He looks between you and Piotr. “Does that sound like something you’d both be comfortable with?”

You nod before looking over at Piotr. “Babe?”

He shrugs again. “I have no problems.”

“Awesome.” Aiden has Piotr armor up and lift you into his arms, then tests a few spots before getting back on the stool. “Alright, kiss her in three, two, one…”

You close your eyes as Piotr’s lips press –gently—against yours and loop your arms around his neck.

It’s a little weird, holding the kiss while he transitions out of defense mode, but he holds you steady, adjusting his grip as he goes so you don’t so much as wobble. Once he’s fully de-armored, he sets you carefully on the ground and moves his hands from your back to your face, cupping your head in his hands.

Aiden snaps a few more pictures, then hops off the stool and claps his hands. “Perfect.”

You grin as he shows you the screen, cycling through the series of pictures. “Damn. We look good.”

Piotr points at the picture where he’s full armored down and cupping your face in his hands. “I like this one best.”

You lean against his side, grinning. “Me too.”

[ourheroictommo]

Louis talking about Eleanor through the years - a masterpost

2012

“ How did you and Eleanor meet?

Eleanor was a friend of Harry's. He worked with her friend at a local bakery. One day, Harry met up with his friend, Eleanor came, and we met.

 -What's the most romantic thing you've ever done for a girl?

I can’t really cook, but the first dish I ever made was for my girlfriend, Eleanor. I made chicken breast wrapped in ham, homemade mashed potatoes, and gravy.” x

"I'm a one-woman man with Eleanor. I can be a romantic — but not too sickly.

Aside from the fact that she's hot, she had everything that I was looking for. She's funny, loud and confident. I'm not the type of guy who enjoys being single. I'm happy with the way things are with Eleanor. I told her I loved her after five months. I didn't just want up one day and think I was in love — I knew it in my heart." x

"It's a little daunting. At the end of the day if you want it to work, it will work. It just requires probably more effort. If your heart's in it, then you're not gonna mess about.

[The hate towards her] is really strange and the majority (of fans) don't have hate towards her.  It gets a little frustrating seeing that, especially when I'm in a happy relationship. But at the end of the day, I am happy and Eleanor is happy, so there's not really that much more that matters. x

“-You've been with your girlfriend Eleanor for a year. What do you love about her?

She studies politics at university and when she sits and talks about that, I find it really attractive. I think it's important for both of you to have independence. I feel like if she didn't have that and wasn't striving for a good career, it'd be weird.

-Do you worry about her meeting other men at uni?

She's gorgeous, but no, I don't. We both trust each other— I spend a lot of time out of the country on tour. She often flies out so I see her a lot. I think the key to a good relationship is being best friends too. I spend more time with her and the band than I do with anyone else... She's really great.” x

"Eleanor's really down to earth. She makes me fish finger sandwiches and it's great to do something normal after the madness of the tour. All my mates are at university, and it's a life I haven't had a chance to enjoy, so it's great to turn up and sample a bit of it." x

″I think it was probably tough at first for her, taking up such a big commitment, being in a limelight. But she handles it great and we’re really really happy together" x

“-How are things with you and your girlfriend Eleanor?

Without sounding too soppy, I'm incredibly happy. The great thing about our relationship is I was already in the band when we started seeing each other. It makes things easier, because she knows the way it is. She's great with it. She's really easy-going with that sort of thing, which is so important.

-Are you a romantic?

Definitely, yeah.

-Is marriage on the cards for you two one day?

Who knows. It's still early days, but as I say I'm very, very happy.

-Does it annoy you that some so-called fans think you and Eleanor aren't real?

Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious when you see us together that we're real. Think of the amount of time I spend with her - it's crazy I even have to say it's genuine. But the truth is, these people aren't our real fans, that's the way I look at it anyway. So many people come to singings with presents for Eleanor, but you got this small number who want to say bad things.”x/x

“I’m sure if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that every now and again I’m quite outspoken. I think it’s important to speak your mind, and I’ve had a few rants recently. You know, people who have been horrible to my girlfriend Eleanor and to my mum, and I just don’t think people should be able to get away with it. I don’t go to bed and worry about it, I just think that people if they want to be like that, should be put in their place.” x

“-Describe your perfect day.

I’d like to go back home and do the kind of things I used to do before the band. I’d go and have a kick around with my friend Stan and my other friends from school. I’d spend some time with my family and have dinner at my grandma’s house and then have the evening to chill out with my girlfriend.

-What’s your favourite way to relax away from all the stress?

I like having a bath, then lying in bed watching a good film. If I’m watching a film with my girlfriend I don’t mind a rom-com, but when I’m on my own I like action movies that keep you on edge.

-What qualities are most important in a potential girlfriend?

Someone who doesn’t take life too seriously and likes to take a risk. I like to do things on the spur of the moment. I decided to go to Ibiza for one night recently so I jumped on the plane and my girlfriend came with me. I love that ‘lets just do it’ attitude. It’s also important that someone totally trusts you and is your friend above anything else. They’ve also got to have a good sense of humour because the only way I can pull girls is by making them laugh”

The most romantic thing Louis has ever done is buy his girlfriend a ticket to LA because she was missing him x

" @niallspudding: @Louis_Tomlinson do you know you’re very lucky to have eleonor? xx

@Louis_Tomlinson: @niallspudding I think it everyday :) x “

2013

“It’s so great, couldn’t be better. I sometimes worry that she might want to go and find a boyfriend who’s there every day. Obviously, it’s not easy having a long-term relationship in this job, but it frustrates me when people say it’s impossible. It’s definitely doable, it’s down to the people and whether they want to make it work enough. 

-Do you go to extreme lengths, flying across the continents to see each other even for a short time?

Absolutely. Whenever there’s a gap in the schedule, that’s always my first thought. Not many days have to go by before I really start missing her, so sometimes - even if it’s just the odd day - I’ve flown back from the show, had a day in London and then flown back again. 

-That’s a commitment!

Yes, but it keeps you sane. It’s important to have that one person I can confide in and be close to. We trust each other completely and the relationship wouldn’t work if we didn’t. We’re really loved up" x

”Things really bother me when they upset my family or Eleanor. I think I’m quite thick-skinned but if you’re going to do or say that, f*** you. She gets pretty intimidated by it all. I mean, who wouldn’t? She can’t have Twitter or anything like that. I can’t expect her to deal with some of the stuff so easily. But I couldn’t be happier with her.” x

"Every night before go sleep I always talk to my girlfriend, Eleanor." x

"-For your girlfriend specifically, how does she handle your die heart One Direction fans when they see her, when they tweet her, in concerts? 

Yeah, it’s tough to deal with but she’s a great girl and she gets it” x

“-How do you keep your feet on the ground, amid all the success and fame you have?

I try and see my girlfriend as much as possible. She’s at Manchester University so I like going down there, to her student digs, because it’s really nice way to get away from all the craziness of being in One Direction. 

-Do you think it’s even more important to make sure you see her and your family when you’re living this crazy, pop-star life?

Yeah, I think it’s so important to keep in touch with the people who matter to you. I can’t bear to be away from Eleanor, my mum or my sisters for too long. If I had a normal job, I’d see them all the time but I don’t see them that often so when I get the chance to I’ve got to make sure I do.

-Is jealousy ever an issue, especially when you have hordes of girls throwing themselves at you?

It can be, and that’s why I’ve always been so vocal about my relationship with Eleanor because obviously there are opportunities of being in a boy band - if you wanted lots of girlfriends. But I don’t, so that doesn’t bother me because I’m very, very happy with Eleanor.” x

“Louis Tomlinson, 21, one of the three members of the band in a serious relationship, nods when I ask what his dream is.

‘Absolutely honestly? It’s sitting in my garden at home with my girlfriend on a lovely quiet morning, having a cup of tea.’” x

2014

“It was an incredible trip. As soon as we back I said to my girlfriend, ‘I’ve got to take you out there one day because I think it would be such a great experience.’ For anyone, in fact. I was genuinely sad when we left because those people were so cool. They totally blew me away, and their attitude in the face of such poverty was pretty incredible. They have this real sense of community, which, in a way, is all they’ve got”. (About his experience on his trip to Ghana for Comic Relief).

“Away from football I also went on a songwriting trip to LA with Liam, and spent some time with my girlfriend and our dog. Just doing really nice, normal stuff”.  (About what he did during his time off).

“The movie premiere was a real laugh too! That was a big deal, and the huge crowd at Leicester Square was amazing. I remember saying to Niall, 'Mate this is just the best, can you believe how far this band has come, this is Leicester Square!’ It was a very proud day for us - all our families came, my mum, my little sisters, and my girlfriend”.  (About the This Is Us movie premiere in Leicester Square). x

“I know she loves me. When you’ve met your life partner, you always know, and Eleanor is mine.” x

2015

“-What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?

So once with one of my ex girlfriends I made my back garden into a winter wonderland for Christmas, with like fake snow and stuff.” x

2017

“That’s my girlfriend!!!” - Louis after saving Eleanor from being attacked at the airport.

“Thank you for always supporting Eleanor . She's fucking amazing isn't she !!” - Louis’ message to twitter fan account of Eleanor

“I know me mum wouldn’t want me to walk around being gloomy all the time, so I try my best just to pick myself up when I can. Of course, there are times . . . and that’s why Eleanor has been so fantastic for me.” x

“Who was the last person you texted?

Probably my girlfriend Eleanor” x

“There's a couple of songs that me and my girlfriend really like that'll never be used for anything, so they're kind of just for us. That's really nice.

-Are they ones you've written for her?

A lot of the album's about her, really. I wanted to make the album feel chronological, because that's how I wrote it. You can hear my journey as an individual over these three years - leaving the band, then going out on to the really crazy party scene, and then I've kind of ended up full circle back with Eleanor, who I love dearly.” x

“I spent, you know, 18 months… 2 years of my life just kind of really different to the past - just went out all the time, parting, drinking all the time, whatever.  And then I kinda realized that I was a bit of an idiot during those times, and I found my way back to my girlfriend.” x

"I want the album to feel chronological essentially, so, like, this album’s pretty much about the last three years of my life. You know, the break of the band, and then me going into that party mode all the time, which wasn’t really me, and then, like, you know, kind of understanding that, and getting back together with Eleanor.” x

"I think once you hear the stuff on the rest of the album, you’ll know which songs are about the fans, you’ll know which songs are about me girlfriend." - Louis on whether someone could walk up to him and tell him his songs are about them 

“-You said you’ve written a song about your fans. Can you tell us anything more about that one? It’s kinda collective. It’s kinda like me and everyone in this song that kinda says: ‘we’ve done this together’. So you know you can kinda lay that back to my girlfriend, to the fans, to my friends. It’s kinda just everyone who’s helped me along the journey, really." x

"[Back To You] is not written from personal experience. ‘Cause ironically I’m back together with my ex-girlfriend now, and I’m very happy” x

“The song (BTY) is about… they might not be great for each other but for whatever reason through whatever hardships they just keep coming back to each other.

-And you’re not one of them? Are you telling us that?

I’m definitely not one of them. I’ve got an unbelievable girlfriend that I’m not pissed off that I've come back to” x”

“I would never describe Eleanor as that person in that relationship. That relationship (in BTY) is very intense. Maybe they’re not right for each other, maybe they are... And that’s certainly not the case for me and Eleanor. I mean, she’s ace! I could see where you’ve drawn the similarity but that’s where it ends. I’m sure you’ll see when the album comes, there’s a bit of soppiness to follow. ” x

“There’s the song that’s probably my favourite I’ve ever written, that’s very personal to me, called “Always You” that I’ve got on the album. -What’s it about? It’s about Eleanor, my girlfriend." x

"There’s another song on the album called Always You and it’s kind of about my story of travelling the world and just being a f*****g idiot and going, ‘Of course it was always you’. Here’s the thing, when you listen to my album, you won’t have to read between the lines. You’ll know what’s about Eleanor, you’ll know what’s about me, you’ll know what’s about the fans, you know it might hint a little bit about the relationship with my mum. I want to make everything as honest and obvious as possible” x

"-Whose opinion do you rely on the most after you’ve completed the track? Who do you wanna play it first? Who I rely on it’s a difficult question but I always, always make a habit of playing my music to my girlfriend, to my best friend Oli, to my friends like lets say for a lads trip and I say like ‘guys, what you think of this’ coz it’s very important to me” x

"I just took my girlfriend for her birthday to Amsterdam and it was absolutely lovely! 

 -Do you make holiday friends?

Honestly, I’m not.. my girlfriend’s really good at that… ” x

“-Can you tell me what your view is on these people who are obsessed by a “Larry” conspiracy?

I’ve never actually been asked about it directly. It’s a funny thing. People can believe what they want to believe. It comes across as a little bit disrespectful to the ones that I love, like Eleanor. It’s like anything, if you google a conspiracy on iphones, you’re gonna get a conspiracy. It’s one of those things people love to buy into, but in reality, obviously there’s no truth to it, obviously. x

“Last person you texted?

Eleanor, my girlfriend” x

"There was definitely a time when I probably had some of the smelliest feet in the country coz I didn’t wear socks… It was one of those things like early days of going out with me girlfriend - you know what I mean - going around to her mum’s house. They’re very nice family, posh family, and I was thinking: “I’ve got to take my shoes off, really, but my feet… ” It was really difficult but luckily now as you can see I’m a big sock wearer! The feet are safe!!!

This is the inner Doncaster/Yorkshireman in me - I went through a stage of - and I mean this in the least yobbie way - borrowing, taking, stealing, whatever you want to call it different things, random things from places. There was also this hotel we stayed in in Sweden, where there’s like - it’s not real, but it looks like this stuffed goose. Took that, that’s in me girlfriend’s mum’s house now." x

"-What was the last text that you’ve send? That’s gonna get me in some trouble… Let’s have a look… It’s to me girlfriend saying: ‘Haha’. That’s a bit boring and trivial, isn’t it? There you go.” x

"I wrote this song (Miss You) about a time in my life when I was going out partying every night. In hindsight throughout that time I was pretty numb and just going through the motions. Deep down it was always in the back of my mind that what I really missed was the girl that I loved." x

“It does really upset me to see all this shit about Eleanor. She has been my rock throughout an impossible time !!” x

2018

“He [Louis] also dated actress Danielle Campbell before getting back with Eleanor, who he says he would happily bring on to the panel now Robbie and Ayda have led the way” - x

2019

"There have been times where me and my girlfriend listened to the [1D] albums. Those moments are special and each song takes you back to a certain place. I couldn’t be prouder” x

" -First person you talked to today? Well it’ll probably be me girlfriend Eleanor.

I’m lucky to have really really good people around me. My family are amazing, I got great friends, me girlfriend’s amazing, my boy’s amazing, so I ’ve got so many people around me to make me constantly feel good and responsible. That keeps me going, definitely.

-You did get back with your girlfriend Eleanor quite soon after your mum died. And I wonder if she was an important part of you being able to have a little bit of solidity in a difficult time?

Yes, she was and has continued to be absolutely vital to me. We got to see me mum as well together before she passed. It was really special, really special. Yeah, I love her to bits, man!!! When you’re going through the most devastating time, you need people around you that you love and that hopefully love you, you know what I mean. It’s a nice feeling, man, to find her again, so to speak.

-I read something the other day about couples that break up for a period and come back together are often the strongest. So, Louis, do you think she’s the one, someone who you’d like to marry, who you’d like to settle down with?

I do think she’s the one, yeah, I do, I do, yeah.  She’s amazing for me. And also I think, when you go through quite a hard time together, that gives you a different level of a relationship. It’s deeper than it was before. So I’m very lucky, man, very lucky. She’s a top girl.” x

“-What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?

I’m actually quite romantic, you know? I am, I am. When I first met me girlfriend - I’m a horrific cook, a very very bad cook. I give it a go, you know what I mean, I try. So I said to her: I’ll make you a nice meal. I made her a meal, and honestly... She did all the polite things and said it was lovely. I obviously tasted it too - it was awful, it was awful! Really poor! It was like some chicken wrapped in some like parma ham stuffed with a little bit of mozzarella - very ambitious for the level of cook I am.” x

“Tomlinson recalls how once, for his long-time girlfriend Eleanor Calder’s Christmas present (they broke up in 2015, but reunited in 2017), “I made this winter wonderland in my garden in London, with fake snow and a massive ice rink... I was like, ‘Surprise!’ as if I’d win best boyfriend of the year. In hindsight it was stupid, but fun at the same time”. x

“The singer says new tune We Made It is also partly about the times he slinked off to girlfriend Eleanor Calder’s digs, despite being a global superstar.

‘The lyrics are about a time when I was visiting my girlfriend Eleanor at university in Manchester, drawing on that experience of being on the road in a world tour then going to my girlfriend’s halls and living that life with her,’ he said.

Louis briefly broke-up with Eleanor, 27, but they are back together and she remains his biggest cheerleader.

‘She is dead proud of me,’ he said.’ x

"Oh absolutely, definitely! Me best mate and me girlfriend - they are the two people who always hear the songs first, I always get their opinion on. I mean, naturally, when the topic of lyric is about Eleanor - you know what I mean, I’m hoping she likes it. And she does, yeah, yeah!”  - Louis on whether he’s asked Eleanor’s opinion on We Made It before anyone else 

2020

About his song ‘Walls’ -  “ Walls is more specific. It’s about coming home having been on tour, soon after we’d split. I found some of my girlfriend’s clothes in the cupboard and it hit me what I’d done.” x

“Louis new single, Walls, recounts his experiences of love and loss. It is a clearly autobiographical reflection on his life over the last decade, which has seen him fall in love with his childhood sweetheart, Eleanor Calder, before splitting in 2015, and reconciling two years ago. In the years in between he fathered his first child, a son, with a US stylist but the pair soon separated and his romance with model Eleanor is now so strong marriage rumours have begun to swirl, although he’s quick to insist they are premature. 

He explains: “Yeh I saw some of that. It isn’t true, but the luxury with Eleanor is I’ve known her since before our first single What Makes You Beautiful, so she’s felt the whole growth of everything. As I’ve got to understand it, she has too, and I have the benefit with her that we’ve seen it for what it is.

So is marriage a possibility? He adds: “One day, yeah, I’d imagine so. If you’re asking me if I’m going to marry her? Yes, I think so! And more kids, I’d say so.” x

“She’s been amazing. With any monumental time in your life you need people who understand and love you. She makes my life easier.”

In 2015 they split up for nearly two years during which time Louis became a dad to Freddie, now four, following a brief fling with LA stylist Briana Jungwirth.

The track Too Young is almost an apology to Eleanor for that period (“I’m sorry I hurt you, darling… I cut you off cos I didn’t know no better”), but Louis says the time apart taught him some tough lessons and has made them stronger.

“I think we both agree that we needed [that break]. I was too immature for a relationship of that seriousness. But I had to learn that and be an idiot first.

“A lot of young men won’t understand until they have hindsight. The responsibility of meeting someone you could spend the rest of your life with at 18 is too much for most immature men. I was very immature at that → age and didn’t understand the feelings or importance.”

He and Eleanor guard their privacy ferociously and very deliberately haven’t made themselves a public couple. They don’t go to places where they’ll get papped or post pictures of each other on social media.

“Me and Eleanor have been together ages and I don’t have a lot of private photos for myself,” he says. “Even on a night out there’ll be some f**ker taking my picture and it goes everywhere.

"So those moments to ourselves are special. “ x

[iamsamball93]

The Joy of Live Music

Everyone’s teen years differs from others, some have the best years other life, others can’t wait to hit their twenties and never think about their high school years ever again. One thing we can all agree on, though, is that they’re some of the toughest years you’ll ever go through and nothing quite prepares you for the change in hormones, awkward experiences, and starting to understand who you are as a person.

To be blunt, I was the girl with a tonne of friends, a massive friendship group and a relatively stable home life, yet I was also a total loner. My friends and I didn’t really have anything in common, everyone was keen to star relationships, they didn’t have the same taste in music as me and I felt I had nothing to bring to my circle of friends. So, if there was one thing I was thankful for at that stressful time, it was travelling the country for live shows.

It was back in late 2006 when my mum started listening to My Chemical Romance, I’d been banging on about them for a good year and a half, but she wasn’t having any of it, and then she saw Gerard Way and life started to change. By that Christmas, she’d already booked a trip to Paris for us to see them live.

I suppose should take it back a bit further though, first. I was almost six when I attended my first concert, mum told me some BS lie to keep the secret and before I knew it we were at Manchester Arena (then MEN Arena) and she told me to poke my head through the door and look at the stage because I’d be seeing Steps on it in a few hours. That was 1999.

To follow that, I saw Busted a few times, McFly a few more and Darren Hayes (Savage Garden’s frontman) and I’d fallen in love with how cool it was to see my idols on stage in front of me, the artists whose albums I’d had on repeat for months on end, the people that only seemed real on the other side of a television screen. I actually cried at the. Steps show because they walked down the aisle beside where I was sat bandit really hit me how real they were.

Around 2007 was when I really started to going to shows more frequently, I was surprised with tickets to Decaydance Festival in London where Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, The Academy Is…, Cobra Starship & Gym Class Heroes were on the bill, I attended my first 30 Seconds to Mars show and saw My Chemical Romance live five times that year.

I’ve become lax the past few years, I don’t queue for fifteen hours like I used to, I don’t brave all weathers to make sure I’m at the barrier and I rarely make it into the venue for the support bands, but I highly recommend people dedicate a bit more time into watching the support acts. I’ve lost count of the number of bands I started following, became friends with, promoted, through seeing them support someone else. You Me At Six, Kids In Glass Houses, Funeral For A Friend, Attack! Attack!, Save Your Breath, Tonight Is Goodbye - the list is endless, bands I couldn’t imagine my teens/early twenties without, yet I wouldn’t have known them if I hadn’t been at the shows early enough to see them.

Over the past decade, some years have averaged out at about 45 shows per year, we’d fit 2 or 3 partial tours in there (mostly Kids In Glass Houses, how do you think I managed 59 of their shows in less than 7 years?) and somehow I still managed to pass my GCSE’s even though I spent the most of May touring the country for KIGH. Touring and followings bands felt comforting, like a place where I really belonged, and I know that feeling rings true for so many others out there, I was making friends in every city I visited, seeing the same faces and planning shows with them for other bands too. Each band has a community, a fanbase, a family, but live music in general has the same thing, I can go to a show of one band in Manchester, but know I’ll see familiar faces for another band, at another show in London.

For those who have yet to go to their first show, I urge you to do it as soon as possible, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of standing in a room, arena, stadium with tens, hundreds, thousands of people who are all there for the same reason, all singing along and losing themselves in the music. I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it.

This past weekend my mum and I took a road trip to London for Gunnersville Festival, we were both shattered, wondering why the heck we were travelling all that way when a large part of us really didn’t want to go anymore (no matter how excited we’d been when we first booked the tickets), but standing in that big top tent with a few thousand other people, I cried and realised how important it was to be there, amongst all these other people that loved live music just as much as me. The prospect of missing my favourite band live (after cancelled busses, Uber’s, and the general shit show of travelling) filled me with such anxiety at 3:10pm, that I just wanted to go home and cry because I was so sure there was no way I was gonna make it to Gunnersbury Park for 3:50pm. As it worked out, I walked up to the tent just as their intro music came on and all the negativity and stress I’d been feeling just buggered off, nothing else mattered because I was there, watching my favourite people in the world standing on stage and playing to such a large crowd.

That night mum dragged us up front for You Me At Six, eleven and a half years after I’d seen them play a support show at Manchester Academy 3 (a venue capacity of about 300), they were playing their biggest headline show to date. That really knocked sideways, they’d been about 17/18 when I first saw them, and now they were fully grown adults, performing to this enormous crowd and I felt so proud of them, it was utterly unreal. Being in the heart of the crowd made me feel the happiest I’ve felt in weeks, I’ve hit some low points since graduating but I forgot about everything just for that day, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

We spent the drive down there reminiscing on past shows, hilarious experiences with bands, memories that we’ll treasure for the rest of our days, because music given us both so much and we wouldn’t have much else without it.

Live music is far more than just seeing a band live, it’s an experience, an escape route, a few hours (or weeks if you’re touring) where you can forget about everything going on around you. It’s a reason to make new friends, to find new bands to love, to travel the world for, and in my case, it’s just strengthened my relationship with my mum, and that’s the most important thing live music have given me.

_______________________________________________________________________

Jacket - Topshop (Old)  //  Top - New Look  //  Skirt - Primark (Old)  //  Shoes - Vans  //  Sunglasses - Marks & Spencer  //  Bracelets - Thomas Sabo & ASOS

_______________________________________________________________________

What shows have you been to that really stand out to you? What bands do you still want to see? Have you got any social memories that you want to share? Leave me a comment or reach out to me on social media because I always love to chat music!

I’m off to get ready for The Maine’s Europe/UK tour this month!

S xo

Follow me:  Bloglovin  |  Instagram  |  Twitter  |  Tumblr  |  Pinterest

PS. I shot these photos at Gunnersville Festival in September whilst Deaf Havana were playing Sinner, most content was scrapped because I was too busy singing along. Sorry not sorry.

[winnipegpatty]

like what you’re doing to me | s.m series | three

a/n: this series is really so much fun to write. let me know what you think, and as always, consider supporting me over on ko-fi if you enjoy it :) <3

Tour was going amazing. Shawn was having a complete, total blast. Singing his third album was by far his favorite live experience he’d had so far. The fans were eating up the special falsettos he had in each song. They went hard every night to Lost in Japan, and the energy on his team was just unparalleled.

They were getting ready to round out the first month of tour, and Shawn honestly couldn’t believe that the European leg of tour had almost come to an end.

The team was traveling to England for their first Manchester concert tomorrow, and after England there was only Ireland left before Shawn and the team headed back to North America. Which Shawn was excited about because North American meant an entire week in LA was coming soon. The team was going to put the absolute perfecting touches on the single that was set to release in May. LA also meant he’d most likely see Karli, and despite there never having been anything romantic between the two of them, Shawn was fairly certain there were mutual feelings developing, despite distance.

Karli and Shawn had continued texting and even facetiming on a semi regular basis, as much as time zones and tour schedules had allowed. But Shawn would be a complete liar if he said he didn’t miss her at all.

Which was stupid because he’d only ever been with her a handful of times at this point.

Shawn actually hadn’t heard from her today, or for a couple of days now that he thinks about it. Which was odd, but Shawn didn’t have a whole lot of time to overthink this, as his plane was landing soon, and Andrew was already beginning to give instructions for arrival.

“Airport security says there’s about forty or so fans outside which,” Andrew scrunched his face, “Is honestly more than normal. Shawn,” he paused. “Rehearsals start in two hours. So, you have some time for selfies if you want, but just know it’s going to cut into anything else you wanted to do before rehearsals. Your decision as always.”

Shawn nodded.

“There’s three cars waiting. Band members in the middle car, team members in the third car, me and shawn in the first car.”

“Just us?” Shawn asked. That’s kind of off. There were usually at least four people in a single car.

“Yeah, and you want all of us in the same car?” Zubin asked, “That’s like...seven people plus the driver, dude.” With the extra three instrumentalists that were on tour with them, it did make for a decent sized  band.

“You’re just going to have to make do, guys. That’s how it is.” Andrew said sternly, leaving room for no questions.

Zubin grumbled a bit, leaning back in his chair.

“Listen, it’s like a twenty five minute drive.” Andrew answered, “You’ll survive.”

“Okay, anything else?” Shawn asked, trying to move the conversation forward.

“Yes. Band members are on the third floor of the hotel, team members and Shawn are all on the fourth floor. There weren’t enough rooms available for us to all be on the same floor.”

“That drags,” Eddie muttered.

“Hey, it’s fine guys,” Shawn said, addressing everyone. “It’s not about the rooms or the cars anyway. It’s about the concert and the music, and that’s going to be good, eh?”

“Yeah, but man it’s gonna be so much more inconvenient if we wanna meet up at the end,” Zubin said.

Andrew snapped his fingers, “Zubin, enough complaining. I’m over it. We haven’t even landed yet for heaven’s sake. Stop being a child. Shawn’s probably not going to have a whole lot of extra time in Manchester anyways.”

“Oh,” Shawn pursed his lips, looking around at his friends and eyeing Andrew. “I’m not? That’s news to me. We got some stuff planned or something?”

Andrew scratched at his neck, “Nah. Just, everyone please...wait like fifteen minutes and it will all make so much more sense.”

“Andrew, you’re just being really sketchy right now, is all.” Shawn said.

The band members all chorused a ‘yeah’ to back Shawn up.

Andrew grumbled, “God aren’t men supposed to be less dramatic?” He turned around in his seat, completely ignoring the band and Shawn’s concerns.

Shawn decided to ignore it, and instead pulled open his Twitter app, using his last few chaos free moments to tweet out a pre-concert message.

Outside of the airport, the air was brisk and freezing. There was a freezing slush on the ground that was absolutely disgusting, and something Shawn really didn’t miss about Canada. It was April, why was it still snowing and sleeting? Wasn’t it supposed to be getting warm again? LA was sounding better and better by the day. He was ready to see the sun again.

The fans outside were extremely polite and patient with him, which always made following his “Always take selfies” rule so much easier to follow. Frantic fans sometimes made him feel like he was being trapped in an increasingly small space. But here, even with the cold temperatures, he was able to really smile and offer sincere replies to all of the fans comments. These were the encounters he loved the most, more than the set up meet and greets or the staged question and answer sessions. He just loved meeting the people who supported him.

“I love you guys so much,” Shawn said as he finally came up for air, stepping away from the crowd. “Thank you so much,” he blew kisses at them for a few seconds before turning to duck into the specified car Andrew had set for him.

“That never gets old, Andrew,” Shawn said into the car as he slid into the seat, going for his favorite seat in the back driver’s side. But as Shawn finally raised his head to address the car fully, mostly looking for Andrew, he found that the two of them weren’t alone in the car as he’d made it seem they’d be.

“Oh,” Shawn said lightly as his eyes quickly caught sight of a redhead he didn’t recognize, before finally, at last, his eyes turned to his left where, sitting in the seat he’d been originally aiming for, a familiar bubbly blonde with a smile to kill.

“Hi,” Karli breathed lightly.

“What the hell, Andrew?” Shawn looked around finally finding Andrew sitting in the front passenger seat of the car, turning around to look at Shawn.

“Surprise.”

“You fucking dick,” Shawn laughed, but then turning to Karli, he smiled. “Hi, what are you doing here? And who is this?” He asked, gesturing to the red head.

“That’s my best friend Sophie, and we were in Manchester on a little vacation. And, when you started telling me last week how you were coming to England next, we thought we’d be in town for your show. And we were right,” She giggled a little, still seemingly breathless at the sight of Shawn. “And Andrew helped us set up the little surprise.”

“Oh my god,” Shawn breathed, leaning in for a somewhat awkward car hug with Karli. But he didn’t care, and by the way she nuzzled into his neck perfectly, she didn’t seem to care much either.

They pulled away before Shawn laughed at himself a bit, and turned towards Sophie. “I’m Shawn, by the way.”

___

“Rehearsals start in an hour,” Andrew reminded as Shawn, Karli and Sophie all headed towards Shawn’s room on the fourth floor.

Shawn hollered a response over his shoulder before he unlocked the door and welcomed the girls in, dragging his suitcase behind.

“So we won’t have a bunch of time today,” Shawn stated, as he threw his suitcase on the bed that he didn’t plan on sleeping on. “But tomorrow is a free day, and then the next day we have another Manchester show before we head to the O2 in London.”

Karli smiled, toeing up to Shawn until their feet were only inches apart. “We’re invited to the show tonight, right?” She swayed slightly.

“Oh my god, of course.” Shawn swore he’d never smiled this much in his life, but he was fucking giddy. Sue him.

They stared at each other for a second, and Shawn could feel his cheeks becoming that signature rosy red that he hated so much. It always gave him away, but there was nothing he could do about it. He giggled a little, push just a touch closer to her, “I’m still trying to comprehend that you’re even here.”

“I’m here.” She whispered, lightly touching his hand before she pulled away completely and turned to Sophie.

“Soph, we should probably get going if we’re going to make it the museum you were wanting to see today.”

Shawn’s smile dropped for a minute before he pulled himself back together.

“Yeah, I should be getting ready for rehearsals anyways.”

Karli nodded, smiling, “Text me the concert details?”

“Absolutely. Thanks for thinking of me while you were here,” He hugged her lightly, this time a fully proper hug. “I’ve missed you,” He whispered as he breathed in her scented perfume.

“Missed you too.”

___

__

“Manchester! How we feeling tonight!?” Shawn quickly pulled out his earpiece for a moment to hear the roar of the crowd.

He smiled wide, “Scream this one out at the top of your lungs!”

He began playing Lost in Japan, and waiting to see if the crowd would absolutely erupt for it.

Throughout the festival tour and now this tour, it was always apparent that every crowd went hard to different songs. Everyone related differently, but as a whole most cities were an In My Blood kind of a city or a Lost In Japan kind of city. Tonight, with Karli in the crowd, Shawn was definitely feeling more Lost In Japan. He was excited, happy, giddy, all the good emotions. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a crush like this, but he was reveling in the feeling of light butterflies roaming around his stomach, making him nervous for an entirely different reason than usual.

Manchester felt like the floor was shaking during Lost In Japan, and Shawn was exceedingly happy that they were feeling the same way he was. By the looks of things over in Karli and Sophie’s section of the floor, they were getting pretty drunk and had begun singing at the top of their lungs.

“Manchester,” Shawn breathed heavily as Lost in Japan came to an end, “You are sound so beautiful tonight.” He breathed a couple of times as he took a swig of water. “Today is a special night for me,” He pulled his electric guitar off his shoulder, handing it to a stagehand. His acoustic was handed to him, and he slung it over his shoulder. Beginning to strum out a soft riff. “One of my greatest, new friends is in the crowd,” Shawn looked towards Karli smiling, “I’m pretty happy about that. And if you’ve seen me in concert before, how many have seen me before?” He asked. The crowd responded with a low pulse of screams. “Beautiful, I’ve loved seeing you before Manchester. You guys are always amazing. I love you so much. But if you’ve seen me before then you know what I usually say before singing Don’t Be a Fool. But this is a new era, this is Shawn Mendes The Tour.” The crowd screamed, “Yeah,” Shawn moaned lightly, lightly laughing. “Yeah, so I’m really sorry, but we aren’t going to be singing Don’t Be a Fool, but, guys, and girls, in the crowd. If you brought a lovely person here on a date, or maybe it’s not even a date maybe you just got a sweet little crush. I relate, yeah” Shawn laughed again, “Yeah I relate to that. Well this song, is a really good time to make a move if you’ve been wondering when the time would come. This just might be it. This,” Shawn picked up his guitar riff, gaining some weight and speed, “Is When You’re Ready.”

A chorus of oh’s filled the arena and Shawn looked around, seeing a series of people pull in their significant others for soft kisses. Shawn felt his heart lifting to the heavens, he fucking loved this. All of performing, but this moment in particular was his favorite. Seeing people come together because of him. Seeing people fall in love, even if he’d never know their individual stories. It made his heart fucking soar.

“Maybe I had too many drinks, but that’s just what I needed. I hope that you don’t think what I’m saying sounds conceded.” Shawn sang the words from the back of his throat. There were a few people towards the front of the arena that were swaying, holding onto their friends shoulders. One couple on the fourth row was still kissing, which was a bit excessive if the girl standing next to them was anything to go off of.

“Baby tell me when you’re ready, I’m waiting.” Shawn’s gaze wandered over to Karli who was drunkenly swaying with Sophie, leaning heavily on each other for support. “Even ten years from now, if you haven’t found someone, I promise I’ll be around.”

Nearing the end of the song, Shawn transitioned into the bridge of Ruin, singing “Do I ever cross your mind,” over and over again like the mantra to his life. He’d always loved this bridge, he felt it’s message on a cellular DNA level. With him constantly hopping in and out of people’s lives he’d always wondered if people ever thought of him when he was gone.

In the crowd Karli was screaming with him “Do I ever cross your mind,” as her arms, one hand holding a cup of beer, swayed in sync with her hips.

“Manchester, I have a surprise for you. Is that okay?”

Shawn ran to the side stage, pulling out his blue electric guitar, and then running by each band member giving them the key change and telling them to follow his lead.

Shawn began playing an intro chord before he pulled out a few vocal runs singing the word ‘why’ a couple times before entering the verse, “Switching into airplane mode again. We're not alright but I'll pretend.”

It was about then that Karli realized what was happening. Shawn was singing her song from their first Youtube video. Karli was jumping up and down screaming at Sophie excited, and Shawn just smiled.

“Can you tell me why, my love? Can you tell me why I hold on to you and you hold on to me?”

___

__

Shawn: breakfast?

Karli: it’s almost noon, Shawn

Shawn: so….brunch? ;)

Karli: ofc <3

__

They met up at a cute cafe and took a table in the far back corner. It was quite, and Shawn was grateful. Karli ordered an omelette and a mocha while Shawn ordered a berry kombucha and two muffins.

Karli, to Shawn’s amusement, immediately took a picture of her coffee and posted it on her instagram story.

“Sorry,” she smiled shyly. “Being a Youtuber is weird because people like expect you to be an influencer on social media, even if all you do is sing songs.” She shrugged.

Shawn smiled, “I get it. People definitely want me using my social media more than I do, but I just get too pulled into that world if I let myself. So I tend to stay away for the most part. I find I live my life better if I do.”

Karli smiled, “So what’s it like to perform a concert like yesterday.”

Shawn leaned back in chair, “God, it’s the best.”

They talked about the concert for a few minutes before their food was brought to the table.

“So I’ll be back in LA for an entire week at the end of the month,” Shawn said casually as he took a bite of his pumpkin muffin.

Karli smiled, “Sweet, we’ll have to plan something.”

“Karli,” Shawn said softly, putting down his muffin and looking at her across the table. “I’ll be pretty busy early in the week finishing the new single.” His hand tapped on his leg nervously, convincing himself to say what he’d been telling himself to say. “But, I would really like to take you out to dinner before I leave again. If you’d let me,” he stammered towards the end.

Karli’s smile softened at the edges, “Shawn Mendes, are you asking me on a date?”

“Uh, yeah, I am.” Shawn’s cheeks were red and he ran a hand through his curls, tugging at the end. “If you, uh, want?” It came out as a question rather than a statement of confidence.

“I’d like that,” Karli nodded.

Shawn nodded, “Okay.”

“So, can I come to the show in LA too?” Karli smiled, returning to normal conversation, completely unbothered by Shawn’s embarrassment.

“Of course. You can come to every concert, Karli.”

tagging: @rosecth @fourtristattoos @peacedolantwins2 @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @justanotherfangurl272 @my-sweet-escape-from-the-worl @yourwonderbelle @loveydoveyshawn @outlandishnerd @amandash113 @lostinroses @ilsolee