#i think romantic but tell me otherwise and ill change the tag | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k-s-morgan · 3 years

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I have a question.

Is there a difference for you in terms of properly representing a selective group of people, whether that be race, ethnicity, identity and sexuality V.S. Survivors are of trauma, assault, psychological damage, mental illness and otherwise?

I know that you don’t mind people who romanticize dark events like rape, Stockholm syndrome or like incest (I’m not sure about that last one)Like do you not mind when people romanize rape or racism?

For me personally. I don’t mind people writing about dark elements of society. That is because it brings awareness to these serious issues in our society. I’m not so sure though about painting them in rose colored lenses or portraying it as something that is good. (Unless it usually from the victim’s warped perception)

I think a lot of things are interesting. Like your own stories. To me they don’t give out a message. Like yes this is an amazing relationship go do the same thing or this is something you should look for in a relationship/person! But some of the stories that are darker and portray like pedophilia and rape make it seem like ‘oh they really wanted it’ or ‘it’s okay, it’s not that bad’

I think those are dangerous messages to give out. Whether to children or adults. Because there is a thing like when you start off by put off by it, but the more you read things like that the more accustom to it and it becomes not as bad as a thing. Ya know.

That’s how like a lot of serial killers, rapists and other people start on the path to do those horrible things. It’s because they become accustomed to the message that it’s alright to do what they want.

Sorry for the long ask. But just wanted to ask your opinion on the matter because I see both sides of the argument and I want to find a middle ground. Ya know.

Hello! This will get a bit long, but I’d like to start with asking everyone: please don’t send me asks about the morality of fiction. While I can write essays on it, it’s not the topic that interests me and I don’t want to spend my time on it, no matter how genuine and respectful you are. I’m going to say everything I think about this subject in this reply, and that’s it.

Anon: I indeed don't mind romanization of such things as rape, age difference, incest, violence, and so on in fiction. These kinds of stories exist for adults only, and it's expected that adults can tell the right from wrong without having everything spelled out for them. In an ideal world, children shouldn't have access to fiction like this, but they are curious and easily bypass restrictions. In this case, the responsibility is on them and/or their parents. When I was about 11, I discovered the world of fanfiction. There were no tags then, and I readily clicked on "I'm 18" warnings to read the content I wanted. Some of it affected me badly - I still vividly remember the story where my favorite character was graphically raped, and it left me terrified and upset. With time, I learned how to recognize and filter such content, and it's especially easy now, when tagging has become commonplace.

There are indeed stories that portray very problematic things in a fluffy and positive way, though I'd say they are a minority. I read *a lot* of stuff and I probably saw just a few of them over my whole life. Even then, though, it is expected that adults read such content. And adults, along with most teenagers, won't decide that if one or even ten stories showed a fucked up relationship very positively, then it must be a good thing in real life. People are surrounded by parents, relatives, friends and their families, classmates, folks on the streets: this influence is far more profound than a story they might have read.

Fiction can reflect the society, but it doesn't direct it. Every day, we see the normalization of smoking, drinking, toxic masculinity, heteronormativity, and racism in movies, TV shows, cartoons, etc. But they are there because the society is like this. These things existed long before fiction as we know it started developing. At the same time, murders aren't normalized in the society at all no matter how many action, thriller, and horror movies we all see. And murders are shown much more often than incest, minor/adults, and abuse portrayed in positive light. So if nothing happened with the former, nothing will definitely happen with the latter.

Fiction can indeed have a small positive impact by normalizing things like equality. For example, it's natural for random female characters to kiss a male character. It's present even in 'Hannibal', where Chiyoh kisses Will and Bedelia kisses Hannibal out of blue, with nothing to really justify it. But it's almost unheard of male characters to do the same: if they do kiss other male characters randomly, it's usually within the "ewww, gross!" joking context. If things were to change, as they are slowly doing, if characters were allowed to interact equally regardless of their gender, then it could make an impact on the society. But fiction alone could never be responsible for it: same-sex marriages are being legalized. Punishments for homophobia start being enhanced. There are changes happening in the real world, and fiction is just a nice addition that helps solidify them.

There should be more diversity and more representation in fiction because it could aid in the positive practices that are already happening. But no matter how many stories feature romantization of violence, it's not and won't be accepted in the society because people have a general understanding of what is right and what is wrong.

There is also a big difference between fandom content and mainstream content. Someone's fanfic about romantic rape won't re-write the morals of a person. It's a work published for free and you can never guess what motivated the writer to create it. Mainstream fiction, on the other hand, is expected to show a little more care because millions are being poured into it and it has a far wider reach. POC and LGBTQ people already suffer from discrimination. If fiction further contributes to it, it's bad. If it chooses to contribute to the positive changes that take place, it's great. But everything still and always goes back to the real world.

Finally, serial killers don't become killers because they saw a message about it being okay in fiction. They were already fucked up and considering it, and they just wanted to find a justification. What you see in real life has a far bigger influence than anything you experience in fiction, and the numbers don't change. It's been decades from the moment violence started being glamourized, and the majority of population don't think it's okay to beat someone up. 80% of women have rape fantasies, but most people don't think they actually want to be raped. The same principle applies to every type of fiction out there. People with unstable minds, people who cannot differentiate between the real and the made-up, people who are easily triggered by dark material should not be consuming fiction of this type. If they do, the fault for that doesn’t fall on the shoulders of the creator, just like it cannot fall on producer of peanut cookies if a person with peanut allergy decided to eat them.

#personal #shipping #fiction #antis

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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years

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oooh could you do protective headcanons for the golden deer too??🥺

{I most certainly can. Y’all know I love these tropes so keep ‘em coming. Hope it’s to your liking! :3}

Claude:

6/10

Neutral, with just a tad bit of nerves.

Look. Claude has bigger fish to fry than what you’re gallivanting on about during the day. The man has a dream to catch with literally a country and 1/3 (woot woot alliance) on his shoulders.

First, the future. Then, you. Can’t have a life together if there is no place for it to be had, yeah?

This doesn’t mean that he never worries about you. Quite the contrary, if he begins then he can’t stop. So he doesn’t tinker the thought.

Instead he has his most trusted allies at your back. During the Academy days you were left under Hilda’s watchful eye, and during the war you are always nearby (courtesy of matchmaker Prof.Byleth)

Once he puts a ring on it you’ll have guards. No problem.

He also trusts your own capabilities. One doesn’t train every day to walk out with nothing

Also

You make me laugh if you think Claude believes you’ll ever cheat on him

Not that he’s cocky okay, maybe a bit but no one would dare put the moves on “The Master Tactician’s” s/o

Any suitor coming your way is peasant fodder. If not to him, than to your own personal retaliation.

Yupp, nothing to worry about. You’ve got it covered. He’ll only step in if you physically come ask him

and with a bit of teasing he’ll comply

However, Claude is very sensitive to illness for obvious reasons. This is why he’s listed at a six. He always insists on tasting your food

It was a gimmick at first, and in the beginning he’d make banter to sneak a bite while you remain all unknowing of his true intentions

He’ll be damned if someone ever poisons you. They won’t ever get the chance

Ignatz:

9/10

Let us face it. Iggy is a worry-wart.

He freaks out over the most minuscule of situations. The poor lad nearly gets a heart attack at least once a day

And no, i’m not just referring to his pre-timeskip self. Ignatz may have grown a head taller, got a backbone, fancy harem artist pants--but no, he did not lose his inner anxious zealot. That trait will cling until the day he dies sadly

Having you at his side only makes things worse (in a good way. The trouble is worth it to him)

Especially if you’re more of the risky sort. Expect him to mother hen if you cause ruckus around the monastery. He can and will lecture you to death (only to apologize and hide away after)

Now not only does he worry about his own issues, but also yours. I swear Ignatz acts like you are his second being. If someone scolds you, hurts you, etc. he acts like they did it to him

Can be a bit dramatic, not gonna lie. He gets so worked up that his ears go red. Like, you can just t e l l he’s holding so much back because he doesn’t want to go too far

Don’t even get me started on if someone tries to make a move on you

He becomes t o r n. It isn’t his place to tell you who to hang around, but ohmygodwhatifyourealizeheisn’tgoodenough

iggy no, bad iggy. don’t think like that

He feels threatened so easily and not many would peg him the jealous type. He is, but hides it very well.

If need be he will talk out his feelings with you. That’s something noteworthy of Ignatz: he uses his words. He may find communicating such thoughts aloud difficult, but if he truly is concerned then he will be honest with you.

Raphael:

10/10

Raphael believes in trust. He expects you to be honest and to not keep anything important secret. In return he’ll do the same.

This is why he doesn’t care if someone is flirting. He could give less of a thought on gossip, rumors, or anything really. That effort can go towards training

He truly, honest to Sothis, trusts you with all his heart. There isn’t any time to spend doing otherwise. Raph just wants to live happily and that means having you by his side

Nor does he feel intimidated by anyone else either. I’m not saying that he reeks of resolved confidence, but Raph believes that you love him. Love topples any mindless flirting that other people throw your way

but let’s get one thing straight

If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY, tries to hurt you

This guy’s having them for b r e a k f a s t. Pounded, sliced, and Smoked. The same way he liked his bacon.

You are his family. Raphael protects his family, and those he cares about.

You will never be alone. Goddess if you cry and someone else is the cause then he will take action. One fault of Raph is that while he’s a sweetie, he doesn’t think before acting a lot. Similar to Caspar, he just goes for it

It takes a lot to get underneath Raph’s skin.

In short: do not f*ck with his loved ones. He would take on Nemisis himself mono-e-mono if it meant protecting them

Lorenz:

8/10

Y’all going to sit there and try to convince me that Lorenz Hellman Gloucester doesn’t try to establish dominance?

Key word: try

He’s quickly shut down

“Lorenz if you tell one more person that we’re betrothed, I swear that I’ll shave off your eyebrows” - You, one month post-confession

Saying that you’re his perfect match is no excuse. Considering all the preaching he does on noble humility, you’d think he would want your private affairs off the notice board?

It doesn’t take long for your peers to start complaining. Claude finds his behavior entertaining, but not a day goes by that someone doesn’t beg you to make him shut up

Lorenz is also a bit old fashioned. He doesn’t like the idea of you fighting more than necessary

Once again, shut down

Best way to deal with Lorenz is to let him think he has his way, then just do whatever. He gets upset, pouts, spouts his normal lecture, but then relents. All in due process with him

Never thought I’d say this, but perhaps requesting not to be in the same troop together is the best option? You’d think he would fight better with an S tier relationship at his side? Nahhh. HE TAKES YOUR KILLS IT IS NOT FAIR

He gives too much attention to what you’re doing, and not the enemy. Best if you stay separated

Ugh pray no one hits on you in front of him. Just... *screams* I don’t think anyone will, just to avoid him getting defensive. I swear the other deer take extensive preventative measures to avoid it.

Hilda:

6/10

C’mon. This is Hilda we’re talking about

You two most likely grew closer because she “asks” you for help so often

Just like Claude, she has bigger fish to fry. The last type of person she wants to be is Holst (she loves him though don’t misinterpret that)

She does worry though

Not enough to make her take the front lines, but a smidgen. Just to where you’ll get periodic check in’s

Nothing obvious. A simple “what’s going on?” as she inquired about your well-being

A precarious scan-over as she checks for any new scars

She does get jealous though. There’s an entire castle full of available people and someone chooses to flirt with you?

That just doesn’t make sense. Perhaps the “once something is taken it becomes more desirable,” saying has some truth

She’s quite the clinger. You’ll just be walking and suddenly, BOOM, bubble-gum pink arm-candy in the corner of your vision

Once you two bypass the ‘puppy-love’ early stages, she changes.

Despite her negligence beforehand, she does become overprotective

Will fight if needed. Say you have a paralogue? Just so happens she was nearby and wants to tag along

She also has to protect you from Holst. My dear, you cannot do that yourself. Brotherly wrath beseeches you, my god. Run dude run

Marianne:

3/10

A possessive streak is nonexistent in her blood. Such thing is a personal fear of her’s. Marianne refuses to conform to the stereotypes associated with her crest

However, she does believe that one day you may leave her side. Marianne isn’t the most confident person. She...doubts

Often does she wonder if you’re there solely to make her hurt. To love her and then one day disappear without a trace

Anxieties like so will not go away overnight. She will not seek reassurance, which makes her more uncommunicative than most partners

but no one is perfect. Neither are you. All you personally can do is politely decline any advances, and do your best to let Marianne know that you love her

She isn’t particularly protective in any other sense either. She’ll heal you if needed, but special attention isn’t there

Marianne treats being a healer like how an ER doctor operates. On the field, everyone is equal. She is needed everywhere and cannot stay by your side. Otherwise lives will be lost, and that won’t be good for her conscience.

The same goes for all other aspects. If you’re gone, then you’re gone. If you’re sick, then you’re sick. She cannot give you special attention and acts in accordance to severity of the situation. Patients cannot be weighed in value via personal bias

She has a surprisingly strong sense of self control, let me tell ya.

Lysithea:

7/10

She...does not have much time. Entering a romantic relationship was not a possibility that crossed her mind once before you

Why bother when the ending is certain? Why leave someone brokenhearted, or a widow? Why give herself that extra stress when she’s already under so much as it is?

You can’t blame her for being extra cautious. While her life may be hanging on a string, that doesn’t mean yours has to end

After some time she develops a resolve. If needed she would gladly lay her life down if it meant you could live another day

A problematic conclusion. You two will argue often over how she cannot trade a ‘life for a life,’ just because of her special circumstances. Her mind always enforces that it’s the logical decision, and has trouble recognizing her own value

I suppose that comes with being a know-it-all, huh? Once her mind is set then there is no changing it

Despite her brain sending all the signals that acting on jealousy is wrong...well, we know Lysithea

She won’t come out and say she gets protective for your sake. Apparently anyone flirting with you already had business with her

Business that miraculously unfolds once you leave. Then suddenly they no longer have an interest?

What’d she do? Threaten to shove a thoron up their rectum? No one knows

Leonie:

9/10

She is the mom who’d create a strict morning routine for her kids to follow before school

Or a thorough itinerary on a vacation

Not a moment or bullion to be wasted!

Cannot express enough how much this girl cares. She can become annoying from all the interference, but you’ll never become a bum with her in your life

You might want to ask her to butt out. Remind her that you’re not one of the kids from her village, and that you can handle yourself

Sometimes you’ll joke and say “yes mom,” because she gets b o s s y

Which will earn you either: a) a glare, or b) her playing along and confusing everyone else

So in a sense, yeah she’s protective. Overbearing in her own Leonie way

Not the jealous type. Leonie doesn’t look at what other people have, and instead focuses on her own life. If someone wants to shamelessly throw themselves at your feet then that’s their issue. You know better than to cheat on her

I can see her complaining to the captain or to Byleth though. Why waste time when the issue can easily be solved? Obviously someone with the time to flirt has time to do training drills

Bonus! Cyril: (because during my first play-through I kept expecting GD to take him under their wing. They did not, and Nintendo missed out.)

5/10

He personally hates being treated like a child. When someone doesn’t take him seriously Cyril’s self restraint goes b o o m

So he won’t do that to you. You’re a capable individual and that’s that. Nothing more for him to interfere with

His only protective streak lies when you’re incapable of doing things yourself. Aka: injured, ill, resting, etc.

He’ll nag you for not being careful, but it’s not hard to miss the tears pricking his eyes

He’s also very perceptive towards break-in’s. Many people have tried to kidnap/assassinate people of higher standing. He’s witnessed many attempts towards lady Rhea. I see him taking night shifts for patrol often, and after the war the habit sticks with him.

He takes a lot onto his shoulders often. It’s not bad. Being dedicated is an admirable trait, yet if you’re down someone will have to stop him from picking up the slack.

He’s no healer, and leaves that job to the professionals. However he doesn’t want anyone to disturb you with the work your missing. So he’ll do it in your stead

Manuela lets him stay in the infirmary past visitation hours. Mostly because he’s so busy during the day that he can’t come by

He won’t return to his room those nights. He prefers to be by your side, just in case.

Other than this type of situation- no, he’s not protective in the slightest.

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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This is just me talking about (my) asexuality and aromanticism and mainly about how I figured I'm aroace. I'm from Finland and recently turned 30 so my experience and "lgbt+ history" might not be what you know it as, especially if you are not from Europe, or if your native language is English.

Also this is highly personal, so I doubt anyone here will have 100% same experience. But that's fine because remember: we're all individuals here and these are NEVER universal. You're still valid even if you wouldn't relate to what being aspec is to me.

It might be IS a long post so beware, but I've just been feeling like writing down some thoughts so here we go...

What I have been able to track is that I was 17, in 2008, when I first stumbled upon the term "asexuality". I don't remember exactly how, but I just remember reading about it and immediately going "yeah that's me". But what I do remember is that no one talked it being about sexual attraction. Basically how understood it was: asexuality = sex-repulsion.

I was 17, and somehow I knew I was sex-repulsed, but at the same time also thought I'm just a minor, so it's normal to be sex-repulsed. But even after turning 18, I don't recall ever feeling sexual attraction. I didn't think of myself as a "late bloomer" but just as someone who just has no interest towards sex. At some point I became really anxious of men, however. Nothing has ever happened to me* but still I, for some reason, developed terrible fear of men. I'm afab and just did not want to be seen as an object, and it made, still makes me, terrified to think someone might look at me and have Emotions. I know that we can't control our brains, I mean, I can't look at someone and force myself to feel attraction - just like those who do feel attraction, can't force themselves to stop feeling attraction. They can only control their actions. But yeah, I also had horrible (sexual) intrusive thoughts due to my generalized anxiety disorder at some point, which did not really help. They got a bit better when I came into terms with my asexuality and aromanticism, but sometimes they still come at me and it's never fun, but at least they're not as strong as what they used to be.

*(Unless if you can count that as sexual harrasment when, CW, I was 11 and a classmate was "into" me and tried to touch my face and talk "sweet things" to me but made it into a show despite me being uncomfortable and usually crying cos as a neurodivergent I didn't know how else to react.)

But anyway, back to the topic. So for years I understood asexuality as sex-repulsion, but I guess it's because I, well, am a sex-repulsed ace. So if I'm sex-repulsed, why would I then look at someone and feel something if I'm repulsed by the thing anyway? Like, it probably can't get any simpler than this :D And I know today that it's not as simple anymore. But that was 2008, at school (in ~2005) they only talked about gays a little, on one page in a sex.ed. book that otherwise was maybe 100 pages long. Only one page. About gays. And it was basically "Some boys like boys or some girls like girls and it's totally fine." and that was it, but the overall assumption was that everyone likes someone. And also there were no romantic orientations. Liking someone = both sexually and romantically. Not liking = not a thing except when you were depressed or otherwise mentally ill, or autistic or mentally disabled (which is a SUPER ableist take btw). I don't remember teachers ever talking about this, but it could also just be my adhd, maybe they did mention, but I just don't remember. At least in my notebooks there is no mention of this, everything was very much heteronormative and amatonormative, and also there was only two genders. I don't remember ever hearing about transgender people, apart from foreign documentaries and in them they were always portrayed as some shocking freaks of the nature, and loads of wrong terms were used. And this is still the mid and late 2000s we're talking about!

So this takes us to the other part aka aromanticism. Back then asexuality was not only sex-repulsion but also merged together with aromanticism, because people didn't talk about romantic orientations yet. So asexuality was not only sex-repulsion, but also you simply just not wanting a relationship. Again, nothing about attraction, just someone who did not care about sex nor relationships. A "forever single", if you will.

This was already annoying me a lot back then because I was really annoyed by sex "running the world". I was so angry because why is asexual the only sexuality that doesn't like sex? All the other sexualities had the assumption of them always wanting to have sex. Like, even think about someone who is straight, you hear that someone is straight, and you automatically assume(d) that oh they're into sex too cos why wouldn't they be. This was really driving me nuts because I was sure there are people who want to have a partner, but never want to have sex! I was still experiencing crushes, and I knew for sure it was nothing sexual, so it annoyed me that just because I'm asexual, it means I can't have crushes. That's why I actually called myself as "asexual bi" for a while, because "bisexual" indicated I would have not been sex-repulsed and I wanted to point out that I'm NOT into sexual things, at all - and remember that this was still the late 2000s or early 2010s and I had not heard of romantic orientations yet! So I was up to something, there just were no terms for that yet! Today that would be called bi-/panromantic asexual.

I haven't been able to track the exact date or even year when did I figure out I'm aromantic, or when did I hear about romantic orientations for the first time. From the messages I've been able to find, I was already in my early 20s. Aka somewhere around maybe 2011-2013. In those, I have still been wondering what I am or if I even want to have a relationship, not being really able to tell what I wanted or didn't want. Again, no one told me romantic orientations are about ATTRACTION and not about whether you have commitment issues or not (this as a half-joke, cos I have severe commitment issues with everything :D I need to feel free!).

Anyway, I do remember my key moment with aromanticism, or the "aromantic awakening" as you could call it too, was when I was 17 or 18. Or maybe I was older? I don't know, I have time blindness. Anyway, I had this one online friend I had a "crush" on (I think it was just undiagnosed adhd's person hyperfixation) and I even told her about it. Everything just is super shady, from those years, I was not really on my best and there are so many overlapping memories that feel like different alternative universes instead of memories on a same timeline. Anyway, I just remember at some point thinking about this girl and I thought about some "romantic" stuff, like kissing, and I just remember my brain going "NOOOOOPE!" I had wanted to meet with her some day so bad, but when I started thinking about actually meeting with her, I started to nope the fuck out. All I had in my head was awkward embarrassing "first kiss" scenarios from movies and I just was not having it! I basically went "lol I guess I'm aro too, then XD" but I still don't remember when did I have this realization. Was I 17? Or was I, say, 22? I guess I need to go through my old MSN Messenger and Skype convos some day to investigate this further because I really want to know. I couldn't even find anything from my Tumblr from those times (I registered here in 2011), but I don't know if that's just me not tagging or Tumblr search functioning normally (aka it never finds anything).

But yeah, I am touch-repulsed. And kiss-repulsed, and romance-repulsed, too, (unless it's my OTP we're talking about). I'm still not exactly sure if I'm touch repulsed because I'm aromantic, or if I'm aromantic because I'm touch-repulsed. I only know that because of my sensory issues (I'm neurodivergent), I have never liked touching nor being touched. Even as a little kid I hated hugs and never liked sitting on anyone's lap. I only tolerated my parents, mainly my mom, because they were my safe place as an extremely shy baby/toddler/kid, who was especially wary about men. I can't explain the latter, but there was something about adult men that caused me (as a baby) to hide my face against my mom's shoulder if they talked to me. I did that to everyone I didn't know, but especially to men I didn't know. No idea why.

I also remember how my siblings loved to sit on people's laps and were always climbing onto their laps, and I didn't like this. And once my (late) grandma was so touched when she asked me if I want to sit on her lap (I was maybe 5-7?) and I agreed just to make her happy. I still remember how it felt, and I did not like it at all, but it still made my grandma so happy that I THINK she almost cried when she told my mom I actually agreed to sit on her lap. I'm not sure how real this last part of the memory is because I was so young. But I do remember thinking I do that for a change because I knew my grandma would be happy.

So yeah, my touch-repulsion is not exactly a new thing but just something that has been a part of my personality forever. But is that the core reason for why I only feel aesthetic attraction? I never look at people and feel like I wanna touch. More of the opposite, the idea of having to touch them or them touching me makes me go "eeewww". If you have seen that video of a gibbon shaking their whole body after seeing a rat in their exhibit? That's what I feel like when I think about touching or being touched, in just any way, also platonically.

The only time I feel "sensual attraction" is when I see photos or videos of animals. The urge to pet a tiger is insane. But the feel of another human's skin or muscle (or hair or whatever) is very repulsive to me.

I still remember how disgusting it felt to e.g. sit on a cousin's lap. We sometimes used swings like this, and somehow I was aware of it not feeling nice, but still not doing anything about it cos it also was okay? Only later I have realized I really, really loathe the texture of human skin. Or the warmth and overall feeling of a human body. For example, I was at least 7 or younger when I sat on my cousin's lap while we were sitting on a swing and STILL, after over 20 years, I have that all in my body memory. I remember how the thigh bone felt under my legs and how freaking disgusting the muscles felt inbetween. Also at school, on the 1st grade, we often had to walk in a line of twos after the teacher and hold the pair's hand so no one gets lost. My then-friend had so ridiculously dry skin that the only thing I could think of was how I felt like throwing up because the skin on her palm felt so damn disgusting. I still can feel that in my hand when I think of it. That's one of my "core memories" from 1st grade - how disgusting the human skin can feel like.

I don't think I have ever felt actual romantic attraction towards anyone. It's really difficult to differentiate because as I mentioned, I get those people hyperfixations easily. I guess it's the same hormones but I never really want to do anything with them? I guess it's the emotional intimacy that "attracts" me and what gets me excited, but I'm still not exactly sure what emotional intimacy means to me. I don't exactly fall into the QPR category either, in a way I wish I had a best friend whose best friend also I would be, and that neither would have anyone else who is "better" than the other one. But the only intimacy there would be emotional intimacy, nothing else. And I need my freedom so I wouldn't move in with any human being, either.

Sometimes I've thought my "ideal partner" would be a robot because if I get annoyed, I could just turn it off and stuff into a closet and leave there, and if I felt like not having a "relationship" anymore, I could just remove the harddrive and destroy the robot, or both. That way I would be the only one with the memories, and I wouldn't have to worry about someone out there knowing things about me, things that only the closest can know, and I'm really afraid of letting anyone close in case it won't work (also with regular friendships) because I can't stop thinking about how much I wish I had that MIB memory cancelling device so that they would again know almost nothing, or at least much much less about me. There's already one friendship that ended a few years ago and I still keep thinking about how I wish I could take everything back and how I wish they delete(d) all the files and drawings and stuff I sent them. There are so many things about me I wish I never told them, now as we are no longer friends. Back then it felt like "of course this is gonna last a lifetime!" but turns out that nope, not all friendships will.

I guess it's time to stop rambling. This post is really long already. If you read it all the way here: congrats. And thanks. You probably just wasted your time but... that's on you I guess :DDD But yeah, some thoughts from a 30-years-old aroace who has been aware of their identity for at least or almost 10 years now.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #aspec

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

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Introducing - Dr. Hannibal and Mrs. Erika Lecter.

Self - shipping game (started by @jokersspookyhyena; thank you for the tag, darling!💗)

I’m really nervous about posting this because Hannibal is... very special to me. The bond we share is on a similar level to the one I have with Joker. The only real difference is the length of time; Hannibal has been with me for far longer. I love him so much that it hurts and I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without him.

PLEASE NOTE -

Mentions of abuse, dissociation and passive suicidal tendencies - unspecified, just named as listed. It’s relevant and almost central to our relationship. If you want to skip this bit, it’s the question asking his favourite things about me, specifically. Every other question is safe, loves! My connection to him is raw, and so are my answers.

Word count: 2, 450 (uhhh... woops??)

When did you get together/how long have you known them?

Hannibal and I go way back. I have known Hannibal Lecter, as a character across all forms of media, since I was thirteen, but NBC’s Hannibal I met when I was shy of eighteen. I adore all portrayals of Hannibal Lecter, but this Hannibal is my most favourite one. Not because Mads Mikkelsen is outrageously attractive, although that’s also true, but because in him I found solace, peace, acceptance, understanding... and safety, in more ways than one. Over the course of the time we’ve known each other, our dynamic has always changed and it’s grown with me. As I’ve gotten older, the dynamic has become increasingly romantic. When I look back on my life, Hannibal’s always been with me, and thank goodness because I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. I am so grateful to and for him for so many reasons it’d be impossible to list them all.

Nicknames, both yours for them and theirs for you!

Sksksksksk I annoy Hannibal with all my nicknames for him: Hanni is the one I use for everything, more than his own name, pretty Hanni when I want cuddles but I’m too shy to actually say, my love when I’m feeling tender for him (all the time) sometimes I’ll combine nicknames and say; Hanni, my love. Sometimes I call him my precious cannibal... that’s for our most romantic moments, though. When I’m talking to others about him, I usually attach “my” to the front of his name. He’s not mine, of course, and I don’t own him and he doesn’t belong to me, but the bond which we have is mine, and this is an important distinction.

Hannibal doesn’t have many nicknames for me. He most often calls me by my name, little fawn/doe when I’m especially skittish or he makes me accidentally jump (it’s not hard to do, though it’s not fun for him because it takes ages for me to calm down), dearest, my love, and the most recent addition is, phoenix or my phoenix... I wrote about that here if you want to read about why he calls me that!

Who’s on top?

Hannibal, most often. He likes to push, destroy and reset boundaries in his own image, though, so sometimes he’ll make me go on top just to see what I do. Spoilers: I always nuzzle my face into the warm crook of his neck, lock my arms and legs around him, and close my eyes. If Hannibal desires for anything sexual, then he has to roll me to be underneath him because once I’m on him, all I want is the safe cage of his embrace (though, on the rare occasions I get... amorous, I just aim my hips downwards every time I shift to get comfortable. It’s subtle enough to be missed, but Hannibal knows me and his chuckle rumbles through his chest and it always makes me smile).

Who is more protective?

Mmm... Hannibal, I would say. I don’t take the best care of myself and Hannibal often has to help me. Erika, don’t you think you should eat something? It has been several hours and you don’t want to get a stomach ache from not eating for so long, do you? and other such less than subtle reminders.

However, I’m not totally helpless and if anyone hurts my Hanni, then oooooooh, this fawn bares her teeth. You do not touch my Hanni. I may be afraid of confrontation and of raised voices, but if I catch wind of anyone targeting Hannibal, then none of that matters. Good luck taking Hannibal to prison, Jack, I’mma square up and you better be ready to catch these hands.

Who said ‘I love you’ first?

Meeeee ~ , I did!!!!! Because I knew him so young, for about six years of our friendship, I used to just say “I love you” and Hannibal would smile patiently but otherwise not encourage anything, for obvious reasons. But one day, I said I loved him and Hannibal gave me the time old reaction. “No, Hanni, listen. I love you.” He blinked once, twice, smiled... and still didn’t say it back. But that’s okay - I like to think that he loves me too. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. He’s Hannibal Lecter, who knows? If it’s a moment which needs for him to say it back, he’ll most often say, “and I, you.” It’s close enough.

Who does the household chores? Including cleaning, cooking, anything around the house.

Hanni and I split everything. I live with him and he refuses to let me pay rent or for food and the like (I have something of a guilt complex so I always feel bad for 'taking’ anything without giving something back, which is usually more than what I was initially given), so instead if something needs doing, I’ll do it without saying anything. Hannibal is incredibly self-sufficient and I stay out of his kitchen (I can cook well enough but Hannibal’s Japanese knives scare me so I stay out of the way and he’s very particular about the order of things in his kitchen), and I don’t go in his office either, but the rest of our home is mine to do whatever I want with. Sometimes I’ll deliberately stay out of his way and when he comes a-running (but not to help), he finds I’ve done odd jobs here and there around the home. He doesn’t thank me for it, he knows I don’t want that, so he dips his chin and eyes me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes, and I know I’ve earned myself a cuddle session later. Both of us know that that’s what I was after the entire time, though neither of us addresses it. He’s taught me well. A bit too well, he sometimes thinks.

Who gets hurt more often?

Me 😂 I have been known to trip over my own foot standing still and it’s not unusual for me to stand up and to sway as I try to find my balance and for Hanni to reach up to grasp my wrist until I’ve settled. It’s embarrassing and my cheeks always go bright red from blushing, but the heat of his hand seeps into my skin and I can’t tell which of the two body parts burns more. Sometimes his touch lingers on my skin and I end up sitting back down, not wanting to leave my precious cannibal. This was what Hannibal wanted the entire time and we both know it but we don’t address it, and I realise that either I’m becoming more like him, or he’s starting to adopt some of my own mannerisms. You and I have begun to blur is something Will once said to Hannibal, but it’s not a wholly exclusive sentiment. There are aspects of me which are because of Hannibal and we both know it.

How do you sleep?

I don’t, not without my Hanni. He most often lays on his back and lets me settle myself half on his body and half off. One of my legs stretches across his body so that my inner knee is pressed to his outer hip and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. My face finds its way either into his chest so I can hear his heartbeat and feel the rumble of his voice in my ear, or pressed into the warm crook of his neck so I can feel his pulse against my skin and know that he is alive and safe. When at last do I fall asleep, for it takes me a long time to settle and to get comfortable (seven hundred position changes and a sacrifice to Satan), Hannibal turns off the light he allows me while I fall asleep (if I wake up in the dark, I’ll be scared to the point of a panic attack and then he will wake and comfort me. This increases my trust in him and further ensures that I won’t leave him. We both know he does this but again, it’s not addressed. I trust him implicitly, which again... is all a part of his plan.) and then he turns onto his side with me pressed tightly to his chest.

Sometimes, on very rare occasions, when Hannibal has been hurt or if he’s sick, he likes to lay atop me and our positions are the same as above, but reversed. So he’s the one clinging onto me and I am the one on my back, protecting my pretty Hanni from all who seek to do him harm or to take his freedom away from him... that’s something I’d never condemn him to. I love him far too much to ever put him through that. Beasts belong out in the wild, do they not?

Fears?

Hannibal fears having his freedom taken away from him, he fears being completely vulnerable, he fears never being understood... his fears are bigger than me, so I can only love him as hard as I can every single day, without hesitation, thought or fault.

And, well... I have lots of fears. My biggest fears are the dark and... certain physical illnesses and Hannibal has offered multiple times to get me a suitable therapist, but I refuse every time. I have my Hanni, so I have everything.💖 He knows me and he knows that if he just stays, I’ll even lay in the pitch darkness for him... if he just stays. So he stays and, oh, my fear smells delicious and he craves more... so I crave his closeness and on it goes. We kind of... led each other into this relationship but looking back, I definitely don’t want it any other way. I’m not sure about Hannibal.

Favorite physical and personal feature about them?

I love all of Hannibal, but his eyes are the warmest pools of chocolate I’ve ever seen. I like to cup his face in my hands, especially when we’re sat in his study by the fire, and I like to get very close to him so that my nose is touching his and I just look into his eyes, the soft orange glow of the fire giving his dark irises a red tint... he has the eyes of a shark.

And that voice... asdfghjk 🥵🥵🥵 many a panic attack has been stopped before it’s started, many a nightmare soothed, by even one word. Hanni has to be careful what he asks of me because he knows that I won’t ever say no to him, but that was all a part of his plan... so long as I love him, I am useful to him. I lost all of myself once and Hanni helped me to find her. His voice led the way, it called out to the darkness in me, and I could only answer his call. He saved me.

And I love his hair... especially in the mornings when it brushes against his eye lashes, I... I just love him.🥺🥺🥺

My favourite personal feature of Hannibal’s is his mind. His psyche is an ocean with murky, never before charted depths, and I long to dive in at the deepest part and to never resurface. I long for his tongue to cut into me, for his words to slice me apart, and then for him to submerge me in the depths of his mind, in the depths of the love he may have for me, and to soothe away the metaphorical wounds I inflict upon myself daily (my inner voice most often sounds like my abusers, try as I might). I long to become one with my cannibal so that never are we torn asunder.

Their favorite physical and personal feature about you?

Mmm... this one is really hard to answer because I am not, ah... favourable of myself in any way. My dress just rode up to my thigh, though, and I can literally see the answer: my tattoo. A few years ago, something terrible happened and as a result, I dissociated to the point of barely functioning and I experienced passive suicidal ideation for a long time even after I escaped that situation (Hanni is the reason I left that, too). Instead of giving into that, though, I designed and then got a tattoo and though I wanted to die, Hannibal made me feel alive that day. Though I know that Hannibal doesn’t like his meat branded (😂), I also know that he loves my tattoo. It’s a physical mark of my love and my devotion to him, and of course it strokes his ego. He quite literally saved my life and I wanted to immortalise that instead of destroying myself further.

Even if I do say so myself, she’s gorgeous:

His favourite personal feature about me is the fact that I see him. I know exactly who Hanni is. I know what he’s done. I know what he’s capable of. I know his past, his present, and I see who he is. I can look at him and guess within an accurate measure as to his thoughts and feelings. I see him and I know him and I love him genuinely, with everything that I am. There have been multiple points in my life where I’ve lived for him in a very raw and real way, and he knows that. Hanni is a rare gift and by some stroke of luck, I was given him. I’ll never be able to repay him for his kindness.

Something intimate you do together?

We lay together. Not just cuddling like I answered in a different question, but we talk. About anything and everything. Hannibal listens more than he speaks up until he notices I’m getting tired, and then he speaks and I listen. He’ll cite Dante in Italian or quote Shakespeare, he’ll talk about Schrodinger's theory or answer my question do killed spiders become ghosts? And we spend that time together. There’s an intimacy not just in naked bodies but in bared souls too, and when both forms happen at the same time? It’s the purest, rawest intimacy he and I are capable of. And it happens nightly - no exceptions.

Who needs more TLC when sick?

Hanni rarely gets sick or injured, so this is me again. I usually work as best as I can through my sickness and I’ll tell him that I’m fine, I don’t need anything... but he takes care of me because he knows I want him to, even if I won’t say it. I’m the kind of person who longs to be wholly self-sufficient and independent, and I can do it, too, but I soften considerably when someone treats me the way I treat them and it almost always makes me cry, no matter who they are. I’ve learned to be strong so when I’m taken care of, I don’t know how to handle it... but Hanni does. Hanni has seen me at my best, at my worst, at my worst and everything in between, and he can handle all of me. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

#self-shipping #hannibal lecter #erika lecter #erika x hannibal

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daisy--sorbet · 4 years

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heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

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overthinkingkdrama · 4 years

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Jona’s 5 Worst Dramas of 2019

A couple words about this list. I’m making this for fun. If a drama you love ended up on this list, it doesn’t mean that I hate you or I think you’re stupid or have terrible taste. But these are dramas that inspired strong negative reactions in me for one reason or another, whether that be disappointment, rage or disgust.

I’ve only included dramas that finished airing in 2019 in my selection process. If you have some dramas that hated, feel free to share them in the replies or send me an ask. It’s fun to complain about things for some reason.

Also, I have included major SPOILERS in a couple of these. So read at your own peril.

Dishonorable Mention: Melting Me Softly

I sincerely tried to limit myself to only dramas that I--for whatever misguided reasons--finished in their entirety for this list. Mainly because I don’t think it’s fair to brand something as the “worst” of anything without actually giving the thing a fair shake. That’s the only reason Melting Me Softly isn’t higher on this list. But I felt that it wasn’t right to leave it off entirely, if for no other reason then out of respect for the fallen Ji Chang Wook stans out there who lost their lives trying to make it through this trash fire. Somebody needs to stand up for those brave soldiers, out their gifing trash dramas while people like me are safe and sound on our couches, watching the tag like it’s a train wreck.

I made it through only two episodes of this drama, and despite my goodwill toward the majority of the cast, they were two of the most bafflingly bad hours of television that I forced myself to sit through this year. From what I could tell while side-eyeing the drama on tumblr and twitter it didn’t improve much over the course of the run. There were a couple steamy kisses that I enjoyed in clip form, but I don’t think it would have been worth the brain cells lost to sit through any more than that.

Bottom Line: Painfully unfunny, overwhelmingly expositional with no character development, confusing pacing and sloppy editing. Two episodes was two too many.

5. When the Devil Calls Your Name

It pains me to put this on the list because it was just last year that a Jung Kyung Ho, Park Sung Woong collaboration (Life on Mars) ended up in my top 5. And giving credit where it’s due, the two male leads seem to have a great deal of fun working together and I believe that all the actors gave this drama everything they could and sincerely tried to make it work. That’s one of the things I like about Jung Kyung Ho, he picks unique, risky projects that either pay off in a big way or fall flat on their faces (like the amateurishly written and edited Missing 9) Unfortunately, this script just too messy and too bizarre to work. Ha Rip as has a deeply frustrating character arc. He’s such a self-centered jerk for the vast majority of the drama, which is fine for a Faust type story if it’s written with conviction, but every time you think he’s started to turn a corner or grown as a person he reverts back to his old ways. The writing and tone are whiplash inducing. Plus the vague “soul mates” relationship between Ha Rip and Kim Yi Kyung seemed to want to have it both ways, flipping between implied romantic potential and a father/daughter dynamic, which made me quite uncomfortable.

Bottom Line: This drama’s bizarre mythology and world building barely makes any sense at all, but at least they’re easier to follow than the character development. Attempted something unique, but couldn’t pull it off. The OST is super dope though.

4. Love in Sadness

When I watched the first teasers I got the distinct impression that this wasn’t going to be a good drama, or at best it was going to be a guilty pleasure, but at the time when I started it I was hungry for a melo and there wasn’t much airing to hold my attention so I started it on impulse. I think in this case I got what I deserved for continuing to watch something I didn’t think was very good.

The first few episodes were actually pretty gripping and intriguingly dark, but that petered of quickly and the drama became and infuriating wheel spinning exercise with barely any perceptible plot development from episode to episode. The protagonists in this are all so stupid that in the final few episodes the female lead gets kidnapped not once, but multiple times because she keeps meeting her unstable husband alone. Plus nobody in this drama seems to know how to call the police when a madman is waving around a gun. It probably wouldn’t have made me so very mad except that in the last few episodes the writer became unaccountably preoccupied with how sad the psychotic, wife-beating husband’s family life was and how lonely and pathetic his life was when he wasn’t allowed to stalk, assault, and psychologically terrorize his wife. Seriously, in the last leg of the drama the villain is the only character who gets any character development at all. The drama pulls out all the stops to try to make use feel sorry for him. It’s disgusting.

Bottom Line: When a drama about a woman trying to escape domestic violence becomes completely preoccupied with painting the abuser as tragically misunderstood, you’ve got some serious problems.

3. The Lies Within

If it wasn't for the last two episodes this drama would not be on this list, but that isn't because it was in any way an exceptional drama, or that it otherwise would have ended up on my best list. Without the last two episodes The Lies Within is a merely adequate thriller, somewhat heightened by the brutal nature of the premise. I picked this show up largely to fill the void that was left by WATCHER and it was more or less successful, plus it helped that I liked the cast. However even at the beginning this drama I felt like it had some pretty glaring tone problems. There were parts of the drama that were standard OCN dark and gritty thriller, and there were other parts that felt like a campy police sitcom. The humor, when it does crop up in this drama always feels super out of place. But then that last big twist happened and man...I can't remember the last time a drama made me that angry or cratered quite so hard with a twist.

[And this is where I spoil the HELL out of this drama...]

Before this drama decided to go all M. Night Shyamalan in it’s last two episodes, there seemed to be at least one, if not two really reasonable candidates for the kidnapper. Actually all the ground work they’d done up to that point would seem to have pointed to Young Min and if he had turned out to be the perpetrator, I would have completely bought it. Instead they decided to blow everyone’s mind by making the kidnapped husband complicit in his own kidnapping and dismemberment. Which might seem like a shocking twist until you think about it for even half a second.

What it winds up doing on a narrative level it makes everything the characters have done to investigate this series of crimes up to this point feel pointless, resulting in a huge anticlimax. It makes the ambiguous figure of Seo Hui’s husband not only hopelessly stupid, but also cruel and unsympathetic. Because he thought somehow simply sharing the information with her would put her in more danger than threatening and psychologically terrorizing her into investigating the very people he was theoretically trying to protect her from. The explanation that he was already terminally ill doesn’t to anything to mitigate the stupidity of his plan for me. Seriously, you couldn’t think of any solution aside from cutting bits off yourself and sending them to your wife in the mail? I could rant about this ending at length, but I’m going to try to stop here.

Bottom Line: As far as I’m concerned, if you choose to sacrifice the emotional and narrative coherence of your story for a cheap and dirty twist to surprise the audience, you deserve every ranty review you get.

2. Love Affairs in the Afternoon

I’m really not sure what possessed me to watch this drama to begin with. That I continued to watch it is on me. The fact that I watched it despite hating the shallow characters, the thin story and the abortive message at the core of the drama is simply a lapse of judgement for which I shouldn’t be forgiven. Why did I do it despite not having a single nice thing to say about this show? Well, there are two reasons. I was curious to see if they would do anything compelling with one or two of the characters, (specifically the serial adulteress housewife an the broody artist) and I was surreptitiously watching this drama at work and it was really easy to follow the plot while only actually keeping my eyes on the screen about half the time. I watched the last episode before the subs were available and had no trouble understanding what was going. Which could be a sign that my Korean is improving, but is more likely a sign that the writing was so predictable and simplistic that you could follow it if you didn’t speak the language at all.

[Spoilers beyond this point.]

It’s my understanding that in the Jdrama that this is based on all of the characters basically wreck their lives and end up miserable, pointing toward the emptiness of the lives of these people who try to find fulfillment through extra-marital affairs. If that’s how this drama had ended, I still wouldn’t have enjoyed the execution but I could have respected the intent. But in this watered down Kdrama-fied version all the couples’ issues are resolved in the whitewash of a last episode time skip that makes the suffering and bullshit that led up to it feel completely pointless.

Bottom Line: Maybe this level of trashy, uninspired tripe would be somewhat justified if the chemistry between the leads had been better, but somehow they even managed to screw that up. The leads are just bad, vacuous people, a fact which is rendered all the more unforgivable by them being utterly bland. Everybody needed to divorce, nobody deserved to end up happy. Please be wiser than me and avoid this one.

1. Memories of the Alhambra

Initially, I was on the fence about even producing a “Worst List” this year, because in the past few years I’ve tried to be better about dropping dramas the moment they start to disappoint me, rather than hanging on to them and winding up burning myself out. I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough material to write this list, or at least not enough material to make it worth reading. Then I remembered that Memories of the Alhambra finished airing in January of this year (2019 was impossibly long, wasn’t it?) and I thought, “Aha, I can make this work.” I knew at once this drama was going to be the shitty tinfoil star atop my Christmas tree of suck.

I’ve already written a full review of this drama, where I got about as mean as I felt I could reasonably be. You can go read that if you like, I’m not going to retread all my many complaints here. What I will say is that Memories of the Alhambra took my mixed-to-favorable opinion of the writer, Song Jae Jung, and turned it to a negative one. She’s someone who clearly has a lot of interesting high concept ideas, but the execution is just not there. You can hook an audience with a concept, but you have to keep them with craft and structure.

Maybe the industry can be blamed for that. Maybe she just has a hard time ending her stories, or maybe writing on a deadline doesn’t agree with her. Whatever the reason, I can no longer trust her to deliver a satisfying story. And that’s deeply saddening to me, because Queen In Hyun’s Man is in my top 10 favorite dramas.

To be front-to-back terrible is one thing. The joke’s at least half on me for bothering. But to have potential, to have an interesting hook, a budget, a cast, but then to be either unwilling or unable to live up to that potential feels like a con. That’s how I felt about his drama, like I had been willfully deceived by special effects and flashy editing, all orchestrated to disguise a narratively bankrupt, unsatisfying drama.

Bottom Line: Is Memories of the Alhambra objectively the worst drama on this list? No, it’s not. Is it the most disappointing? Absolutely, it is. And that’s the more heinous crime, in my opinion. And that’s why it’s my worst drama of 2019.

#kdrama reviews #worst list #kdramas 2019 #jona spoils #exit review

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incandescent-eden · 4 years

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STORY MASTERLIST

A (not so) comprehensive list of all the things I write about, all of which are subject to change at any given time because I do a lot of refactoring!

LOOOOONG POST INCOMING I write... a LOT, and I have... MANY projects :) Feel free to ask me about any of them! :)

With love <3 Continue reading below the cutoff if you want to know the basic rundown of my worlds and works!

ANGELVERSE:

This universe encompasses all of the angels and demons I like to focus on. Works in the angelverse will likely be about Faraday (formerly known as Efrem), a demon lieutenant, Ezekiel, a young angel, the archangel Uriel, or angel Raguel / angel Sophia (their stories are intertwined).

The main concept I have on Angelverse surrounds Faraday, who has grown into himself as a demon and made something of himself. He finds it impossible to shake who he was before. The question comes up during an important meeting between Heaven and Hell of whether he is truly Faraday or Efrem, his own self that he has shakily become, or the self he inherited from being his father’s son. There’s also brotherly angst between Faraday and Ezekiel, who refuses to let go of the past. (If you look at my old works tagged ‘ezekiel,’ you’ll see Ezekiel used to be a part of Faraday/his ‘ideal’ self, which is why new Ezekiel, separate from Faraday, reads so differently.)

The Raguel and Sophia stories are also closely linked to characters Andromeda and possibly Zachariah. Andromeda’s father runs a cult and has captured an angel in his attic. When Andromeda finds the angel (Sophia), her otherwise “normal” life is thrown into disarray as she starts unraveling threads about her father’s actions as a cult leader. If Zachariah is to be a part of it, he would be living with Andromeda’s family, having run away from his past.

Prominent characters in Angelverse include: Faraday, Uriel, Ezekiel, Stena, Michael, Ramiel, Raguel, Sophia, Zachariah, Ambriel, Ruhiel, Gabriel, Raphael, Luci, Bee, Sasha, Saoirse, and Heather. With the exception of Sophia, all names ending with “el” are angels, while the rest are demons. Also, I say prominent, but like half of these characters are from a bygone era (2018 when I first created them).

TW/CW for heavy religious (Christian) imagery, emotional abuse, violence, transphobia mentions and cult talk. Additional content warning because I tend to write angels as LGBT, but I recognize that some people are not comfortable with this affiliation with Christianity.

LUXTRURA (NOTE: LUXTRURA IS ON PERMANENT HIATUS):

Luxtrura is the name of a fictional country in ye olde European fantasy style, and I haven’t thought of a title for the WIP yet, so I mainly tag it ‘luxtrura’ or ‘luxtruran trio.’ This WIP is a fantasy / dystopian / political intrigue about an uprising in the kingdom of Luxtrura run by an inexperienced king and corrupt nobles all vying for the crown.

Luxtrura (at the current moment) follows the life of His Majesty Devron Fharren, the Eighth Fharren King, who inherited the crown by kingdom decrees at the age of 21. Unlike most kings, Devron has only had seven years of proper royal tutelage on statecraft, having only been named heir to the throne when he was 14. He soon finds he has inherited a kingdom that has been deeply wounded, that his people hate him, and that he has few allies among his own country’s nobles, his friends, and neighboring royalty. Revolution is brewing, and he has a choice to make: to claim his birthright or to help his people.

Prominent characters include: Devron Fharren, Eden Barison, Mili Starr, Plumeria Rwalke, Lilia Tao, Rassaya Tao, Andrea (a mysterious stranger who gives only her first name), Jakob Fiyre, Cordelia Fiyre, Liseline Fiyre, Sonja, and Orange and Rouse (the dragons).

TW/CW for violence, sexual assault mentions, transphobia mentions, political talk, blatant classism, and death.

GLOWING EYES:

A “what-if” scenario where Victor Frankenstein and Dorian Gray had met and become friends and also Frankenstein wasn’t a man and was named Viola and was not a pleb weakling like Victor. Also Dorian Gray is fat because I said so.

This story reimagines the Frankenstein and Dorian Gray cast as students in their final year of the prestigious University of Ingolstadt, with Frankenstein having returned from a year off during which she was suspended for [redacted] reasons. The vibe we’re going for is dark academia, but I don’t think they ever actually do any learning?

Prominent characters include: Viola Frankenstein, Dorian Gray, Elizabeth Lavenza, Henry Clerval, Basil Hallward, Deukalion, and special shoutout to Justine Moritz and Sibyl Vane because I didn’t want to put them in, but they definitely deserved better in the source material.

TW/CW for death, violence, toxic/obsessive relationships, grave-robbing, body part mentions (eyes, limbs, etc), and mentions of the Devil. Basically, if it was a concerning part of either the Frankenstein or Dorian Gray stories, it will still be concerning.

Fun fact, there is a Glowing Eyes playlist that I am NOT too ashamed to share with the public! :D

HELEN OF LEGEND:

A retelling of the Helen of Sparta story that explores Helen’s thoughts and motivations. Who was the woman behind the face that launched a thousand ships? And did she ever even want those ships to be launched? (Spoiler alert: the answer is no.)

Helen of Legend gets pretty heavy handed because I get really mad about people lauding the Greeks as the end all be all of culture, and I’m still really mad about how people dress Millie Bobby Brown up like she’s 25-40, so make of that what you will.

On the bright side, Helen of Legend is a sapphic retelling!

Prominent characters include: Helen, Leda, Menelaus, Clytemnestra, Penelope, Theseus, Aphrodite, Paris, Cassandra, Hector, and Hecuba.

TW/CW for misogyny, implied past sexual assault, sexual assault mentions, mentions of spousal and emotional abuse, people being generally creepy about bodies, people being creepy toward children (Theseus), cities burning, subtle classism, and death.

OF DANCERS AND DREAMERS:

A musical about Anne-Marie, a non-binary Vietnamese lesbian born into a wealthy family, and Jules, a Tunisian baker’s daughter who is working her way into the Paris ballet. Anne-Marie wants to be a designer, but their mother, Mme Trinh, has other plans. The year is 1884, and it was hard for the Trinh family, as immigrants, to establish their foothold in society, and Mme Trinh will not have her child throw away the family’s hard work. One day, while at the ballet, Anne-Marie becomes smitten with Jules, a ballerina with the most dazzling smile. They find solace in sharing their passions with one another and become friends, each eventually realizing they have fallen for the other in a time that is unfriendly to both of them.

Prominent characters include: Anne-Marie, Jules, Victor, Mme Trinh, and Amandine.

TW/CW for subtle homophobia, classism, mental illness, and parental guilt tripping/emotional toxicity.

THE LYRE EFFECT:

A play about life after death, and what it means to live and love. This play follows Patroclus upon his death, desperate to return to Achilles. He meets the reluctant Eurydice, embittered by decades alone in limbo halfway between life and death. Together, they almost throw someone off a boat (is it really murder if they’re already dead?) and have a chance to tell their stories, stepping out from the shadows of their more famous lovers.

I took a lot of liberties with this, so Orpheus is a woman (wlw OrphEurydice), and I would like for both Achilles and Patroclus to be played by trans men, and for all of the characters to be played by non-white actors.

Prominent characters include: Patroclus, Eurydice, Achilles, Orpheus, Apollo, Hades, Charon

TW/CW for talk about death

SPEED ROUND (OR: THINGS I WRITE ABOUT THAT AREN’T AS AMBITIOUS JUST YET/AT THE CURRENT MOMENT):

Here Lies Forever - a story focusing around two young people, Medb Flaherty and Virgil Sutherland, growing up at an orphanage amid war, abandonment, and sickness. Medb is a blind writer who dreams of traveling the world with Virgil, her best friend since their teen years, but when the war strikes too close to home, Virgil leaves Medb and their peaceful student life behind to join the army. Unwilling to let go, and recognizing the pain Virgil is in, Medb takes it upon herself to save Virgil, the both of them haunted by the ghosts of their pasts.

On the Corner of Maple Street - short stories about the lives of Sarah and Evangeline together, two lesbian women who met when Sarah was 28 and Evangeline was 31. Sarah was a toy maker and Evangeline was an actress. They have a son named Oliver, who’s now in his forties, and they’re grandmas to all the neighborhood children. They live on the corner of Maple Street :)

Partager Un Reve - short stories, often romantic, about two circus performers, Alyona Ledbedeva (who does aerial silks) and Li Mey Ri (an acrobat). They’re cute together, there’s not really much to say here.

Claire - there’s a really old novelette floating around on my account and you can find it if you search Claire, but like it’s OLD. An 18th century French lady who contracted TB and died but was brought back by a necromancer named Cecil (Cecil is the character of my friend @sinnabon-cosplay !) and is now immortal. Fun times with Claire and Anthony usually involve lamenting the fact that they’re stuck as teenagers.

Miscellaneous - miscellaneous demon and monster characters like Alexander, Felicity (both vampires), Sparrow (succubus/Heather’s youngest sister), Zephyr (fae, husband of Spar), Lycan (she’s... a werewolf), and so on. Not really connected to a plot

Performing Possumhood - uh this was a play I wrote with my friend @holdingonmyheartlikeahandgrenade for a 24 hour play festival, it’s about a guy named Thomas who becomes herald for a kingdom and then on his first day of work, the king dies, and his son becomes king, except the new king??? is a possum???? and like no one does anything about it, so Thomas just feels like he’s going insane, poor guy (also everyone else is named Thomas except the king, whose name is His Majesty King Parthur Pencildragon of Alpacalot)

Nordic questing team - I’ve literally written nothing for these fools, but I’m tempted to make it into a dnd campaign! The characters I have are Val (short for Valnotte) (she’s a nokke), Hanne (human poison seller who wears an eyepatch just because), Fur (short for Bjorgolfur, he’s a werewolf who left his pack because he was too good at being alpha wolf but he didn’t want to be alpha, he wanted to press flowers and have a cute little cottage by a cliffside with a pretty garden damn it), and Bo (full name: Boscobel Blue, he’s a cow boy. Literally. He has cow ears and a big septum piercing and a tail. Also he’s a shepherd. His sheep are carnivorous :))) Make of that what you will)

Alice x Secret Garden - another play but where Alice Liddell and Mary Lennox are 18 years old and find themselves in Wonderland, after Mary is jaded from the end of WW1 and is frustrated at her friend Dickon’s marriage proposal, and Alice runs away, trying to retain her childhood as best she can

Retellings - I do myth and fairy tale and folk retellings! :) You can search ‘Tithonia’ for my sleeping beauty retelling, and I wrote Orpheus and Eurydice a while back. Still working my way through Icarus :’) Also ‘Mermaids Can’t See’ is a retelling of the classic mermaid story but written as a ??? field guide? journal entry? notes about mermaids?

If there’s a work you want specifically about a character, I always tag characters, and I also will tag character introductions and pictures/references of them as “beanpuff char[]”!

#writeblr #reevie rambles #masterlist #wip masterlist #beanpuff char[]

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caps-lockdown · 5 years

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Operation: Man Flu

Alright guys here it is the first part of my new series! I thought of this awhile ago but my life has been absolutely bonkers lately and I didn’t have a chance to get started on it til now! I hope ya’ll enjoy this insane and (hopefully funny) romp I’ve come up with.

Tagging @kaytizzle and @cuffski for now, let me know in the comments if you would like to be tagged for future parts!

Summary: As a hacker nobody agent of S.H.I.E.L.D you get roped into what might possibly be your worst nightmare come to life. Will you survive the long weekend? Will you have a chance to get closer to a certain reserved Captain during this extremely stressful (and hilarious) situation?

Pairings: Steve x Shield Agent Female Reader!

Words: 3,397

Ratings/Warnings: I’m going to put hard R here for the whole thing because there’s going to be cussing, mentions of sickness, alcohol consumption, physical fights, mental breakdowns. Jealousy, love triangles (sort of), angst, drama, and lots of crude humor. Just strap in.

Also no Beta so my mistakes are my only thing to claim, I don’t own any characters either, with the exception of the reader, a doctor, and some random characters here and there.

It is in Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name) format. Enjoy!

Part One

“Y/N I need more water!”

“Y/N my eyes hurt!”

“Y/N can you tell Bucky and Tony to shut the hell up? I’m trying to sleep off this headache!”

“Shut up Wilson!”

Pinching the bridge of your nose, nostrils flaring, you released a slow and irritated breath. The shouting was coming from the makeshift quarantine section in the Tower. Never in a million years would you be able to guess that this was going to be your job at some point. In fact, you would have laughed in anyone’s face if they told you that at some point in your life you would be stuck in Stark Tower taking care of a bunch of sick and over dramatic man children. This was supposed to be your weekend in. You were supposed to be comfy and cozy surrounded by happy things, not a bunch of sick cry babies. You were so getting a raise when all of this was over.

You looked to the ceiling praying to anyone upstairs for just a small moment of peace. The moment of peace could come in the form of a giant mallet to knock all of the whiny men in the next room unconscious. Perhaps a dart gun with Nyquil loaded ammunition? Anything to help you cope with being stuck with this lot of ill idiots for the next 48 hours. Why of all people did it have to be you? You were not someone that saw The Avengers in close quarters, you were sort of work friends, but you never thought your friendship would be put to the test quite like this. Who were they to ask this of you anyway? It’s not like you have any medical experience. Hell you get squeamish just thinking about blood. You rarely got sick. You cried watching Grey’s anatomy for cripes’ sake! You must have been cursed by some otherworldly power. Loki was messing with you. That had to be it. You were sure that had to be the reason behind this cruel and unusual punishment.

“Y/N BUCKY KEEPS STARING AT ME!”

“Well you keep sounding like you’re gonna puke Stark! And if you puke I puke! So don’t puke!”

“Damn I need a drink.” You uttered before squaring your shoulders and heading back into the fray. When did it all go to hell in a hand basket?

~~Friday Morning~~

0600

The crisp early autumn air made its way into your room from your half opened window. The birds chirping slowly woke you from your slumber as your eyes opened to take in the leaves changing colors on the trees outside. The smell of coffee starting to brew at your small desk invaded your senses and you smiled out to the rising sun in a good mood.

Your alarm clock went off which caused you to scream and nearly throw it out the window, groaning as you heard the rumble of the Quinjet touching down a few floors up. So much for a quiet, easy day. They were back early.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you hastily threw on your uniform and secured your hair up, reaching for your travel mug to hold your life juice as you sloshed it into the container and headed out the door.

Life hadn’t always been this fast paced for you. You were never a morning person, and even though it had been years that you have been with S.H.I.E.L.D, these caffeine fuelled mornings were something that never got easier with time. Being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D just wasn’t a picnic for you most days, but you certainly had it better than some of the others in your line of work. You weren’t one of the people willing to put their life on the line out in the field. In fact it was the complete opposite. You were behind the scenes, knee deep in technology. Hacking files, constantly bypassing security, you name it. You never had to leave the comfort of your own country. It was hard work, but it was also your calling. It had been since you were a teenager in high school. It was a habit that got you caught several times breaking into the school security systems, changing when the bell would ring so you and your friends could get out a few minutes early. Especially during Geometry with Miss. Wilkins.

You had been given a scholarship to New York City College of Technology after you graduated high school and you packed your bags and moved from your small town in Ohio to the beautiful state of New York. After graduating in record time with high marks you were recruited by Agent Coulson to join S.H.I.E.L.D. You accepted without any hesitation (Along with constant reassurance to your always worried mother that you would not actually be in the field. Ever.)

After a few years, and more importantly the battle of New York, Nick Fury created a small unit specifically trained to work alongside The Avengers. It was truly amazing getting to move into the Tower, always being there in case of emergencies. Which there often were plenty of. You were under the command of Agent Keaton, your unit possessing a mere ten agents total. No one knew who you were, or what you did, except The Avengers and a small number of others. You were shadows, able to breach the toughest security, get what you needed, and get out without a trace. Or in most cases, get Earth’s Mightiest Heroes into places they previously didn’t have access to. Everyone called you “The Ghosts of Stark Tower”. The hours were sometimes long, missions often stressful, but it suited you just fine. One of the many upsides was knowing that you were making a difference in this messed up world.

The down side was these way too early mornings. At least it was Friday and you could look forward to the three day holiday weekend ahead of you. It was Labor Day weekend which meant that after today you wouldn’t have to return to work until the following Tuesday, unless an earth shattering catastrophe happened. Trudging your way down the hallways your mind drifted to the future that awaited you at 1800 hours. All you had planned was a giant fort of blankets and pillows to call sanctuary as you caught up on the six books that sat unloved in a box by your bed. They were feeling extremely neglected since you had gotten most of them as birthday gifts, which had been some time ago now.

Stepping into the elevator you let out a wistful sigh as it began to climb the few floors leading to the floor that held the landing pad for the Quinjet. Smiling to yourself as you day dreamed about being nestled in a blanket cocoon and not seeing a soul for 72 hours, you couldn’t stop in time and ran smack into Sam Wilson as you exited the elevator and took a sharp turn. His back of toned muscles acted as a wall as it threw you backwards and onto the floor with a loud and ungraceful oomfph.

“Shit. Sorry Y/N. My head isn’t on straight today.” He offered a hand to help you up which you gladly took, pulling yourself up and pretending to brush yourself off.

“It’s fine Sam. Ya miss Bucky that much?”

“Ha. Ha. Ya I missed him like a hole in the head.” You snickered as the two of you made your way down the hall together.

Sam Wilson and you went way back. Back to before you were working (usually) with the Avengers. Back when you were just starting out and he wasn’t cleared for all the “fun” missions, as he called it. Those were the days when you trained together, ate together. Hell you even shared a bed together. It was only once, and nothing romantic happened, but you two only got closer because of it. You didn’t know where you would be without him in your life. He always seemed to know what to say to make you feel better after a hard day, and he always had you laughing. It usually bummed you out when he went along for missions, so you were extra thankful he opted to stay behind this past week when they announced a new mission would take place. It had been nice spending time with each other outside of work hours, catching up, shooting the breeze.

He was one of the only people here that seemed to see you for everything that you were. With the exception of today of course.

“Any issues with the mission? Why are they back two days early?”

Sam raised an eyebrow as you reached the double doors that lead outside to the landing pad.

“Now how did you know they were supposed to be back in two days? That was classified information L/N.” You quickly shot your eyes to the ground, releasing a heavy sigh.

“I…I may have hacked into the mission details…”

The look Sam gave you made you bite your lower lip in embarrassment before he merely shook his head in response.

“Damn Y/N, you should have come with a warning label. If you missed Steve that much you could have just called him.” You swatted his arm as he pushed the door open for you, the fresh air hitting you in the face and causing your eyes to water.

Sam had known about your small crush on Steve Rogers, otherwise known to many as Captain America, since the first time you had met the larger than life super soldier. He pegged you as a giddy school girl from the gate and you found yourself threatening his life on a weekly basis to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing. Steve and you had a professional work related friendship, nothing more. It’s not like what you and Sam had, and you had come to accept that it never would be that. Or more, no matter how often you caught yourself thinking about it.

“Why would I miss Steve Rogers when Sam Wilson has been here to keep me company?” You batted your eyelashes at him, causing the man to chuckle as you neared the group of fellow agents that were gathered around the jet.

“Nice try slick, but I’m still telling Tony you broke into the mission files. Again.”

You pouted at him but he only clicked his tongue at you.

“I swear Tony just needs to give you a raise already and put you in charge of that tech stuff here. His old ass mind is clearly slipping.”

“You suck Wilson. I was only worried.”

“Worried ol’ Blue eyes was gonna take a dirt nap? Come on Y/N, he’s stronger than that.”

“Actually I was worried for Tony and his,” you made air quotations “Old ass mind”

You and Sam’s laughter was quickly silenced as the jet ramp lowered and you watched Steve Rogers exit, a deathly pale Tony leaning on him as they disembarked.

“Shit. He looks worse than normal. Pepper is gonna pitch a fit when she sees him.” Sam remarked, the team headed towards you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but dance across the Team’s faces. They all looked beat. Thor and Bruce seemed deep in conversation, their hushed voices angrily biting at each other. Clint kept quiet, focusing his vision forward and not looking at anyone. You noticed Nat and Wanda were missing, only for a moment before you realized they were on a separate mission elsewhere. They were slated to come back sometime next week.

Your vision drifted over to Tony, taking in his sickly appearance. The color was drained from his face, the area around his eyes dark and his body too weak to walk very far. Bucky walked to his left, his worried expression evident as they neared you and Sam through the crowd.

You quickly snapped your line of sight to Captain Rogers, your pulse picking up just a little at the sight of him. His uniform was still in really good shape considering how ragged he was looking. Apparently he had forgotten his razor or something because his facial hair had grown a considerable amount since they had been gone. His strong jaw was set tightly, his lips in a thin line while his large intimidating frame effortlessly helped the injured billionaire along.

“Why do I have a feeling my weekend plans just got cancelled?” You grumbled, clearing a path for the Captain as the rest of the team followed behind him, none of them sparing you a look. You were used to it by now.

“Wilson, debrief. Now.” Rogers’ voice boomed with authority and you couldn’t help but grimace in Wilson’s direction.

“Sorry Sam, tough luck.”

“L/N you too.”

Jumping at the acknowledgement you cast a worried glance to Sam who merely shrugged before picking up his pace to catch up to the group headed into the building. That could not be good at all. You followed after him, struggling to keep your mind calm with all the questions currently swimming in it. It didn’t take you long to reach the small conference room, paramedics cutting off your journey about halfway to take Tony into the medical bay to run tests.

You quickly took a seat next to Sam, everyone at the table looking to Steve for answers you were fairly certain he didn’t have. It didn’t mean you couldn’t admire his tall, gorgeous body though as he stood in front of all of you. Nope, you’d drink in the sight of him any day and any time you could. It wasn’t illegal to look after all, even if most of the time he saw right through you. Just like a ghost.

“Look L/N, I’m going to give you the extremely short version,” Steve started, blue eyes staring into yours and you could only bring yourself to nod. His voice was hard, short, he was clearly on edge with worry.

“Might as well shorten it even more Rogers, L/N here already hacked the mission files. She knows the mission.”

You could only give Sam a “What the hell?” look, trying not to let the disappointed sigh that came from Steve’s lips sink into your stomach like a boulder of guilt.

“As much as I want to be angry with you L/N, I need to know how much you know. It might help speed things up so we can get to work faster.”

All eyes seemed to shift to you as you began to fidget with the edge of the table, training your eyes to stay focused on the smooth wood surface as you recalled the details you briefly scanned last week.

“You were all sent to Tal-q’eiek to retrieve an energy source for another planet…Mon…mon something..who’s current environmental health is unstable. The planet’s self defense measures made most of the planet toxic to keep predators from other neighboring worlds away.” You started, looking up at the people around the table as they all nodded in agreement.

“ You were made special suits and would split up into teams to search the planet for the energy source. You were sent out of your element considering Danvers was unavailable to join you, as well as Quill and his team being currently MIA as well.” Taking a deep breath you couldn’t help but notice the smallest of smiles on Steve’s face as you finished divulging what you knew.

“Correct L/W, I’m always impressed by your sharp memory.” Steve complimented you and you had to grasp the chair to make sure you wouldn’t fall out of it. It was the first and so far only time Captain Rogers had made a positive comment in your direction. Usually he was far too busy to pay you or any of the other Ghosts of Stark Tower any mind. Not that you could blame him. If you were being honest, you didn’t even think he knew your first name for the first two years you worked together.

“So based on your knowledge, what conclusion can you come to on your own?” Thor pried, your gaze moving to catch his.

“ My assumption is that Tony was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and managed to inhale some of the toxic air of the planet, and that’s why you had to come back early. Because he’s showing symptoms of a sickness and you didn’t know what to do.”

“Two for two L/W, well done.”You felt a swell of undeserving pride at Steve’s words, wondering if this was to be your Christmas gift or something. Two compliments in one day? Within minutes of each other? You most certainly weren’t complaining but it did make you a bit nervous, especially when those beautiful blue eyes weren’t leaving yours.

“So now what? We just wait for the doctors to come back and tell us Tony is going to be ok?” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance, Steve clearing his throat and Thor nodding in agreement.

“Unfortunate, but until we know more there isn’t anything to be done.” The other blonde’s deep voice boomed and you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of dread.

“I don’t understand why I was needed here…” You trailed off, Bruce chuckling at your statement causing you to blush with embarrassment.

“You never know when we may need a Ghost on our side Y/N.” Bucky smiled at you, giving you a small wink.

“Yea besides,” Clint continued, “We actually like you. You’re not some stuck up, loud mouthed, cocky know it all like some of the others.”

“You shouldn’t talk about Tony like that, after all he’s the one sick right now.”

Your comment earned you a chorus of laughter.

“I’m gonna put that in Stark’s Christmas card this year.” Sam got out in between laughs, patting you on the back.

“That’s my Y/N, always one with the fast quips.”

His statement caused you to beam in response, allowing yourself to be grabbed in a small side hug. The expression on Steve’s face was a bit puzzling to you as you looked at him, but no sooner had it appeared, it was gone.

What seemed to be hours passed, but your eyes shot up at the sound of one of the doctors on standby walking into the conference room, her HASMAT suit creating a hideous scratching noise against the floor as she moved. You recognized her as Doctor Kelly Hooper, she had been working for Stark for years. She was a short and stout woman, with dark blonde hair that was always up in a tight bun on top of her head.

“What’s the diagnosis Doctor?” Clint tried, his voice humorless despite the poor attempt at a joke.

“Firstly, you should know that Mister Stark is going to be alright.”

The entire table collectively sighed in relief at the Doctor’s news, a huge weight seemingly being lifted off of everyone’s shoulders. You and Tony didn’t always see eye to eye on things, but you still respected the hell out him, and definitely didn’t want him dying anytime soon.

“However, there is some bad news.” The older woman continued, turning her attention to Steve.

“He’s going to be sick the next forty eight to seventy two hours, and will need constant care. He’s going to experience the worst equivalent of the flu we’ve seen in years. Fever, vomiting, dehydration, chills, extreme pain, and maybe even hallucinations. What’s also troublesome is we don’t have the proper staff to take care of him, as most of the day and night crew have left for holiday, and we can’t risk taking him to a hospital where it might spread.”

“Got it, can it get any worse than babysitting a sick Tony?” Bucky groaned out, his head hitting the table.

“Actually it can Mister Barnes. I’m afraid the illness he has contracted from the foreign planet is very peculiar in the fact that it only seems to attack beings with the combination of XY chromosomes.”

“Doc, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Bucky suddenly looked up at Doctor Hooper, who had now locked eyes with the winter solider before nodding her head.

“That’s right Mister Barnes, any male who has come within contact with Mister Stark within the last twenty four hours has a seventy five to eighty five percent chance of falling ill as well.”

#steve rogers x reader #the avengers #captain america #fanfic

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kcfriedchicken · 4 years

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Tag Game - Dig a Little Deeper

i was tagged by @theproblemwithstardust! Thanks dear!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? the country!!! but i do often forget things at the store so i at least need one on the way home

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? oh! to learn Japanese

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? the sweeter the better

5. what was your favorite book as a child? as a child? it was this random story about these tiny puppies that went on a rampage in the middle of the night through flour and jam and a huge mess???

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers because i think baths are so gross

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? my friend just aggressively informed me that i would be siren so i could lure men to their deaths and honestly shes not wrong

8. paper or electronic books? paper but i ran out of room so i switched to electronic

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? does it have to be one? cuz i pick sweatshirts

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i like my name just fine

11. who is a mentor to you? my coworker. she is basically my work mom

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? yes, a famous author or artist! something with a pen name so people dont know it is actually me

13. are you a restless sleeper? what even is sleep?

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? sometimes? more thoughtful than romantic

15. which element best represents you? earth??

16. who do you want to be closer to? absolutely no one.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? who doesnt?

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. when i was two i fell out of a bunk bed into a toy chest and broke my leg

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i dont think ive ever eaten anything really weird? but ill try anything once

20. what are you most thankful for? my family and my friends

21. do you like spicy food? YES

22. have you ever met someone famous? i’ve met Hoodie Allen??

23. do you keep a diary or journal? not any more

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

25. what is your star sign? sagittarius

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? both?

27. what would you want your legacy to be? give me a dope ass story. i want to go out with a bang

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? yes! a murder mystery called the dancing girls

29. how do you show someone you love them? by screaming it at them lol

30. do you like ice in your drinks? nah

31. what are you afraid of? being alone

32. what is your favorite scent? its probably clean laundry

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? if i know them, then it is first name, or mom and dad if its my friends parents. otherwise whatever they introduce themselves as

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? travel forever. experience all the things

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? both?

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? if i watched someone drop it i’d give it back but if not i’d keep

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? that i will always be there for them no later what

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i already have 4 of them. 1) quote on my ribs, 2) quote on my ankle, 3) uncles signature on foot, and 4) shapes on my wrist

40. what can you hear now? my boyfriend and his friend playing Call of Duty

41. where do you feel the safest? in my bed?

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my fear of go karts??

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? take me to Victorian England or witch trials cuz im pretty sure any words out of my mouth would get me burned at the stake

44. what is your most used emoji? 😂

45. describe yourself using one word. dependable

46. what do you regret the most? where to fucking start

47. last movie you saw? uh uh moana

48. last tv show you watched? hunter x hunter

49. invent a word and its meaning. diddlebop - some tiny piece of something that is out of place

Answer all the questions and tag me! I want to know. Looking at you @pearlissofat

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satonthelotuspier · 4 years

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How Shall We Stop Dreams - Part 4

Part 4 on tumblr of my alternate AU where members of the cultivation world are suffering from unexplained dreams.

The tag below should take you to the other parts if you missed them, enjoy!

Wei Wuxian was further thwarted in his search for Lan Wangji when he encountered Wen Qing on his return to the Nightless City.

She asked if she could talk to he and Jiang Cheng, and Wei Wuxian agreed. The sooner Wen Qing was able to collect and study the information from the cultivators here then all the sooner she might find the reasons and the answers they all needed.

He tried some harmless flirting as they made their way the last short way to their lodgings, which Wen Qing ignored.

Pretty girls normally adored and cooed over him and if he flirted or handed out gifts they were lost.

But nothing about Wen Qing suggested she was just a pretty girl.

She was definitely attractive, no doubt about it, but the set of her features suggested arrogance and self-confidence. There was nothing wrong with either sentiment of course, many people had suggested Wei Wuxian himself suffered for a surfeit of both.

When they entered the room Jiang Cheng didn’t seem to notice them until Wei Wuxian called his name. He jumped a little guiltily, but of course with Wen Qing there Wei Wuxian couldn’t question him.

The first thing Wei Wuxian did was tell Wen Qing what had happened to Jiang Cheng last night; his eye, while much better, was still a little pinkish and he still looked wan and tired.

She exclaimed over him and examined him closely, much to his well hidden annoyance.

“You’re fine, your cultivation has fully healed you, you just need rest, I’d advise you to spend at least the rest of the day, and tomorrow if you can, resting” she informed him.

Then she moved on to her questions, making notes as she asked them about their nightmares. They spoke about the frequency, how realistic they felt, what physical effects they had, like causing Wei Wuxian to vomit last night. Wen Qing asked several other questions.

But she didn’t really seem surprised when they spoke of them occurring at exactly the same time last evening. However, she did made note of it and then excused herself.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng shared a look in the now otherwise empty room, “Was that as strange as I thought it was?” Wei Wuxian asked quietly.

“That she never once acted like simultaneous nightmares were odd enough to comment upon?” Jiang Cheng asked, “inexplicable” he agreed, “I wonder if she will when she finds out it was more than just you and I?”

“Oh? Did you talk to some of the others?”

“I spoke with Zewu-jun, both of the Two Jades also dreamed last night. He seemed quite exhausted this morning; he looked worse than I did”

“One of the Two Jades looking less than perfect?” Wei Wuxian mocked, his annoyance at Hanguang-jun sharpening his tone.

Jiang Cheng gave him an assessing look but didn’t comment.

***

The next day dawned sunny and warm; despite Jiang Cheng’s best protests Wei Wuxian bullied him into staying close to their accommodations. With some help. Jiang Cheng had followed him outside of their rooms to get some fresh air.

“Wen Qing said you should rest today too”

“She said if possible” he argued.

“And it is possible, it’s not necessary for you to go today; we’re just going to be messing around clearing out some demon nests in the forest” Wei Wuxian argued.

“What if you get into trouble? And I’m not there?” he protested, “You’re so careless” Wei Wuxian allowed him, as ever, to hide his concern behind snide comments.

“I’ll be fine, Mian Mian will be there too, she’s a strong cultivator”

“I will be there, also” neither of them had noticed the arrival of the Two Jades., the comment was made by Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian felt his hackles rise.

“Zewu-jun, Hanguang-jun” Jiang Cheng greeted as they exchanged bows.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t recall inviting you for a moment” Wei Wuxian channelled his inner Jiang Cheng and tried some passive aggression.

Obviously he wasn’t going to gain a rise out of the icy Jade of Lan, with his cool, expressionless facade. It made the whole process so much less satisfying.

“No need to apologise” Lan Wangji said and Wei Wuxian swore he heard Jiang Cheng smother a snort of laughter behind him.

“I hope Wangji accompanying Wei-gongzi sets your mind at rest, Jiang Wanyin, and I hope I can convince you to keep me company today, as Wangji also wishes for me to stay close to home due to my illness yesterday”

If Wei Wuxian hadn’t been watching that impassive face he genuinely would have missed the lightning fast blink which proclaimed Lan Wangji’s surprise at the news he wanted his brother to be inactive today.

Wei Wuxian only held in the breath he wanted to blow out in aggravation. Was every single person here manipulating this conversation for their own purpose? And what purpose did Lan Xichen have for lying in order to spend the day with Jiang Cheng?

He turned to his brother who looked down at the ground determinedly, but he couldn’t hide the slight flush that stained his cheekbones.

Really? Were the Lan Clan evil seducers disguised as respectable cultivators?

“I think Jiang Cheng could come if Hanguang-jun will be there, he will be able to take it very easy with Maiden Luo and Lan er-gongzi there to protect the group” he said, hoping to extricate his brother. Seeing as Lan Wangji had invited himself he might as well make use him.

“I’ll stay. You’re right, Wen Qing said I should be sensible” Wei Wuxian had to tamp down the urge to grab him and drag him along. Jiang Cheng was an adult after all. And Wei Wuxian had wanted him to stay close to the lodgings initially, so he didn’t have a reason to insist.

Lan Xichen smiled delightedly at Jiang Cheng’s response, which only served to improve on an already perfect face.

Would the cold Hanguang-jun look like that if the unthinkable happened and he actually smiled?

Wei Wuxian tried to picture it, and even though they were virtually mirror images of each other, it was impossible to think of the Second Jade wearing that kind of smile.

Lan Wangji caught hold of his elbow and pulled him away at that point.

“We should meet your companions” he indicated where a few of their group had started to arrive at the appointed meeting place.

***

Lan Wangji had never expected to be bitter at his own brother, but when Wei Wuxian had paused and watched his face carefully as Lan Xichen had smiled he had felt the uncomfortable curl of jealousy in his chest and his first instinct had been to drag Wei Wuxian away.

It went against Lan Wangji’s personality to be so proactive in his pursuit of Wei Wuxian, but living the life of that other him in his dreams, losing his soulmate, mourning his death for thirteen agonising, empty years gave him ample encouragement to not make the same mistakes. That other life wasn’t his life, but it served as a warning of what could happen, if circumstances were different.

He had known for many years this man, this Wei Wuxian, this burning flame, would eventually come into his life. He’d dreamed of the name over and over since his teenage years, eventually coming to understand this was the man he was destined to love with everything he was. And whilst some elements of the other’s personality had been a surprise to him upon first meeting it changed nothing. He had known of his arrogance, his self-confidence and his determination, but he hadn’t known he was a flirt, frivolous and irreverent. So there were adjustments that had to be made to his thinking.

He stood back a little as Wei Wuxian spoke to their group, introducing the young Wen Ning to the others. Luo Qingyang and Mo Xuanyu were there, and so were several other young disciples from other sects. They all knew Lan Wangji by reputation if not by sight, and their greetings were over formal and nervous. He wasn’t going to be a popular addition to the group.

Still, he was there on the hunt for Wei Wuxian and no other reason. He wasn’t here today to win hearts. Well, just one heart.

He fell into step besides Wei Wuxian as they set off, and the other threw him an assessing look.

“I’d love to know what game you’re playing” Wei Wuxian said to him quietly after a short while of silence.

“No game, Wei Ying”

“Then what are you hoping to achieve? What was the reason for kissing me yesterday?”

“Can it not be because I wanted to?”

That silenced Wei Wuxian. For a whole minute.

“Do you...like me, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn” people rarely had a choice on who they became emotionally attached to romantically; his circumstances were no different, even if the reason was a little more complicated that a normal crush.

Wei Wuxian was silent again.

“So why did you always act like you were annoyed with me?” he asked eventually.

“Are the two mutually exclusive?” he realised that silence may have been a better tactic than honesty on that subject when anger flashed through Wei Wuxian’s eyes.

“No, I don’t suppose they are, Lan Zhan, lucky for me that I have no softer feelings such as like to get in the way of my annoyance at you” and he flounced off.

Lan Wangji would be the first to admit he wasn’t very good at expressing his feelings verbally, but that had been a trap even he should have been able to avoid easily.

He was angry at himself. Just because he knew Wei Wuxian was his fate, his future, didn’t mean the other would automatically feel that way. It was something the Lan Clan didn’t have much research on, was the object of a spirit-match as fated to fall in love with their match as vice versa, or if Lan Wangji made himself unlovable would he be left without his match as punishment?

As the spirit-match was secondary to the Purpose the Lan Clan didn’t think it as necessary to spend the resources on the same amount of research.

And it put Lan Wangji at war with himself; he wanted to push hard and secure Wei Wuxian’s regard as soon as possible, but if he did push too hard he had a feeling Wei Wuxian might pull the other way just out of principle.

For a man who had always had his future very clearly mapped out the indecision was difficult to bear.

***

Wei Wuxian’s bad mood didn’t last very long; his personality wasn’t suited to brooding and he soon rallied.

He began to cheer himself up with some harmless flirting with Mian Mian, which Lan Wangji soon put a stop to by inserting himself between them.

Wei Wuxian hadn’t given much consideration to how watching him flirt with someone else might be wounding to the other. He did contemplate continuing around Lan Wangji deliberately to hurt him, but he also wasn’t inclined to petty cruelty and so he gave the whole idea up. The fun to be had in meaningless coquetry was dampened rather significantly if you knew it was going to cause another person pain.

He fell into step besides Wen Ning, who seemed to be shy and nervous and hadn’t really mixed well with the others so far. The topic of conversation around them was mostly the nightmares, there had been many cultivators who had experienced the synchronised dreams either the night before or two nights ago, the latter had been the same time as Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

He would speak to Jiang Cheng when they returned, it was completely beyond the possibility of coincidence that groups of wholly unconnected people would experience this kind of phenomenon.

Wei Wuxian felt they should do a little digging. He, like Jiang Cheng, was starting to suspect the Wen Clan had ulterior motives for their seeming interest in the dreams.

He tried to subtly question Wen Ning but the other seemed to genuinely be just another cultivator suffering from nightmares. He did discover Wen Ning was Wen Qing’s younger brother; they had very dissimilar personalities and it wasn’t immediately obvious. There was something of a similarity in the delicateness of their features, but those features appeared different enough on the confident face of Wen Qing that someone wouldn’t automatically make the familial connection unless they were stood side by side.

***

The morning and early afternoon passed quickly and they cleared out a number of demon nests.

Everything seemed to have gone well, even Mo Xuanyu involved himself more than he normally would. Wei Wuxian hoped the letter they had sent back to Lotus Pier would receive a positive response. Mo Xuanyu would be a competent cultivator given the right surroundings.

He was considering this distractedly as they rested briefly, taking drinks, before they planned to make their way back to the Nightless City when the sudden onslaught of spider-demons caught them all by surprise.

Suibian was soon in Wei Wuxian’s hand, and the snick of swords being drawn around him filled the clearing.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were by far the strongest cultivators in the group, but many of the others were gifted cultivators in their own right, even so they began to feel the strain of holding out against the sheer numbers that the spider demons swarmed them with.

“Do not be bitten” Lan Wangji advised them sternly as they fought on, cutting down swathe after swathe, blood thick in the air. Lan Wangji sent Bichen out to impale several demons who had approached Wei Wuxian from behind, “Fight back to back with someone” he commanded and fell into formation with Wei Wuxian; the other cultivators automatically moved to follow his example.

It was soon very obvious it was likely only a matter of how long they could hold out under such an onslaught.

Wei Wuxian heard a shout from across the clearing and turned to see Mo Xuanyu be backed against a tree by several advancing spiders.

There was no way any of them would be fast enough to reach him; Wei Wuxian was just about to send Suibian across to at least thin the numbers in the hope Mo Xuanyu might be able to run when Wen Ning appeared before the spiders. He cut them down and stood protectively in front of the younger man, his teeth clenched and his normally limpid eyes blazing.

Had Wei Wuxian imagined Wen Ning had been much too far away to get to Mo Xuanyu’s side? He didn’t think so, but what other explanation could there be?

And even more inexplicable was that the spider demon’s numbers suddenly starting to thin, before the remaining were in active retreat.

He was about to say something but he felt Lan Wangji catch his wrist from behind, “Wei Ying, say nothing to the others” he said softly before letting him go.

“But-”

“We’ll discuss it later. Trust me”

He didn’t see why anything shouldn’t be said in front of the others, they’d seen it all for themselves after all, but he followed Lan Wangji’s request because the other man had sounded so serious about the issue.

He spent the next little while checking everyone for injuries, all of which were luckily minor, and listening to the various theories of why the spiders had gone into retreat. It was agreed by consensus that they must have cut down enough to make the remaining demons fear for their lives, and honestly the clearing did reflect the bloodbath that had occurred.

Wei Wuxian thought it was highly unlikely, but he let it lie as Lan Wangji had asked. For now.

***

Wen Qing presented herself to Wen Ruohan later that evening.

“Sect Leader Wen” she cupped her hands and bowed.

“How did our first subject react?” he asked eagerly from his chair.

“Badly, Sect Leader, luckily she remembers nothing. She is completely unsuitable. I will send her back to her Sect tomorrow and we will try again” although Wen Qing’s face was calm and expressionless there was a note of worry in her voice.

Wen Ruohan thought he read that note, “We have plenty of chances, Wen Qing, ensure we try again tomorrow, I am eager for results” he rose and walked to the door with her, stepping out into evening air. “Walk with me and give me more details”

“Yes, Sect Leader Wen”

#How Shall We Stop Dreams AU #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fic #mdzs #Wei Wuxian #Lan Wangji #Jiang Cheng #Lan Xichen #Xicheng #Wangxian #serialised #Shay's stuff

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darlingsdontdie · 4 years

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New Yandere, Whump, and Dark Shipping Blog: Requests FAQ

Hey! So before I start writing and creating, I thought I'd get some common questions answered and out of the way! If you are concerned about your request or are unsure of its content, please first check this post before directly messaging me.

Request Content

Q: What kinds of requests do you fill?

A: I will fill almost any type of request! But here are some specific options with set structures and examples.

Headcanon Requests (bulleted, length depending on ask, ex: "Can I get headcanons for Requested Character with a short girlfriend?")

Scenario Requests (bulleted, LDOA, ex: "Can I get a scenario for if Requested Ship were getting married?")

Drabble Requests (prose, LDOA, ex: "Can I request a drabble about RC being worried when their darling is sick?")

Playlist Requests (list of songs, 1-5 song limit, ex: "Do you have 4 songs for a jealous RC?")

Graphic Requests (edit style, 1-4 images, ex: "Could you make a graphic for yandere RC with this item or quote?")

Aesthetic Requests (moodboard style, image with 6-9 sections, ex: "Can I get an aesthetic for dark!RS?")

Prompt Requests (list of brainstormed dialogue and short sentences, LDOA, ex: "Do you have dialogue prompts for RC kidnapping their darling?")

Plot Bunny Requests (short prose paragraphs or bulleted, LDOA, ex: "I want to write about yandere RC surprising their darling but don't know how or why. Are there are any plot bunnies you can give me?").

New! RP Idea Requests (selection of 1-4 short rp-style bios/plots/starters, LDOA, ex: "Do you have any yandere rp ideas for Requested Fandom ocs?")

New! Fancast Requests (moodboard or edit style, 2-9 images per RC/RS, ex: "Who would you cast as yandere RC(s)?")

New! Faceclaim Recommendation Requests (bulleted list of names with short explanations or reasons, LDOA, ex: "My yandere OC is tall, has dark hair, and soft features. He acts friendly but is the violent type. Can I have a few fcs?")

Requests that don't specify will be answered with a bulleted list or possibly a short paragraph. There may be times I'm willing to fill some requests but not others due to time constraints, but that doesn't mean I won't ever fill them!

Fandom requests involving AUs and crossovers are welcome (ex: "Headcanons of how yandere Naruto in a wild west AU?" or "Headcanons about what would happen if yandere Ten and yandere Crowley fell for the same person?"), as are original requests based on existing media (ex: "Can I get headcanons about a popular girl type who has a Breakfast Club experience and ends up going yandere for the criminal?" or "Can you write a drabble about a yandere whose story is like this music video?").

Q: What characters do you write for?

A: I'll write for any character that I am familiar with, with a few exceptions for characters I'm aware of but uncomfortable with. To get started, here's a list of fandoms that I have a solid handle on!

Anime (Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, Hetalia, etc.)

Western Animation (Archer, Castlevania, She-Ra: Princesses of Power, etc.)

DC and Marvel Comics

Star Wars (no New Trilogy - Originals, Prequels, Clone Wars, & Legends only)

Other Major Film Franchises (Pirates of the Caribbean, the MCU, James Bond, etc.)

Harry Potter and related properties

Percy Jackson and related properties

Hunger Games and related properties

Twilight and related properties

A Song of Ice and Fire (willing to try TV canon but much more familiar with Book canon)

Crime Dramas (Barry, Good Girls, Hannibal, Mr. Robot, Revenge, etc.)

Historical Drama (Vikings, The Tudors, Les Miserables, The Borgias, Downton Abbey, Peaky Blinders, Taboo, etc.)

Science Fiction and Fantasy TV/Lit (Star Trek TOS/AOS; Doctor Who, New Who only; Merlin; Good Omens; Lucifer; Galavant, etc.)

Horror-Thriller TV/Lit (American Horror Story, The Haunting of Hill House, Hemlock Grove, Alias Grace, etc.)

Sitcoms (familiar with Friends, all the Michael Schur products, Community, That 70s Show, Jane the Virgin, Schitt's Creek, Superstore, IASIP, and others)

Teen Dramas (Teen Wolf, Pretty Little Liars, Freaks and Geeks, Glee, etc., but no Riverdale)

Chinese and Korean Dramas (A Korean Odyssey/Hwayugi, Meteor Gardens, A Love So Beautiful, What's Wrong With Secretary Kim, Romance Is a Bonus Book, My First First Love, Black, etc.)

Video Games (Assasain's Creed, Portal 2, Fire Emblem, AFK Arena, Professor Layton, etc.)

Something that's not here can still be requested - I'm familiar with a lot of media and do my best to keep up.

As I implied above, I am also happy to write for original characters. Whether that means you telling me about your own OCs, or me creating my own characters for you down the line, either is great.

I will NOT be writing RPF or RPS. I do not approve of real person shipping and real person fiction makes me uncomfortable - if that's what you're looking for, there are a huge number of other blogs that will cater to your needs directly. Which leads me into...

Prohibited Requests, and Non-Yandere Content

Q: Will you fill every request you get?

A: I'll fill requests that interest me and that I feel comfortable posting, and that will probably be most of them! I am really excited to get started. But I still reserve the right to refuse a prompt - I'm writing for free, so no one is entitled to have their ask filled. If I choose to deny your prompt, I will answer privately and, if the issue is with content, update the blog so it's made clear that the type of prompt is not taken.

Q: What is and isn't allowed to be requested?

A: To be honest, most stuff is allowed and some stuff isn't. There's a lot of ground to cover here, so I've divided it based on the nature of the concern.

Q: Do you accept NSFW/SFW requests?

A: I'll do NS and SFW work, but I've got more experience with SFW content. This doesn't mean I do it exclusively, just that I won't think to go NS unless you mention it. Specify for NS and it'll be included happily!

Q: Do you accept violent requests?

Violence against non-SO characters and dub-con is okay always, as is situational or over-the-top violence, even murder, involving SOs (ex: "the yandere and their darling are soldiers on opposite sides of the war" or "the yandere saws off their darling's legs so they have to carry them everywhere").

However, there is some tricky area with violent fantasies. If I think the content strays too close to serious physical domestic abuse, then I'll likely deny the request. This is partially why I prefer requests that get violent to focus on non-SO targets, so if it doesn't matter to you, that's almost guaranteed to get a response.

Non-con I can mention and discuss in headcanon posts and possibly prompt lists, but I will not be writing drabbles or scenarios for non-con prompts.

Q: Do you accept kink requests?

A: It will depend on the type and whether I feel morally and psychologically comfortable with it. For example, hypnosis, size kink, gender stuffing, BDSM, roleplay, etc., are all currently accepted because they don't seem to affect me in a negative way. I am willing to do ships for cousins and step family, as well. However, I will not under any circumstances deal with r*ceplay, p*dophilia, fetishizing of trans people or people of color, or inc*stplay, and I will not be doing ship work for anyone more closely related than cousins, including but not limited to siblings, parents (blood or adopted), or aunts and uncles. None of this is negotiable. I am willing to consider AUs where two characters aren't family, or non romantic yandere behavior between family, but even then, the request's on thin ice. Anything super unhygienic or illness related is probably something I won't be interested in not as a rule or for moral reasons but just because it can exacerbate my anxiety and OCD. I also do not fill prompts related to minors at all, be it explicit/adult/sexual content or otherwise. Requests for characters who are minors will have them aged up unless otherwise specified - in which case you will promptly be blocked.

Q: Can I request a dark imagine that is not yandere related?

A: Of course! Just make sure to be specific about what you want from it.

Q: Can I request a ship or character imagine that isn't yandere or dark?

A: Yes, though I won't promise it'll be what you're looking for. I fall towards horror, thriller, and angst when I write, regardless of my intentions.

Q: Can I request something that's not ship or character imagine related?

A: Sure, I'd be honored, but again, I don't promise to fulfill every request. This blog is intended to be stress relief, self indulgence.

How to Make a Request

Q: How do I contact you for requests?

A: Asks, messages, replies on my original posts, and even more casual things like tagging me in yandere or writing related posts are all great ways to interact with me!

Q: When do you accept requests?

A: Requests will be opened or closed depending on how busy I am and whether I'm caught up on them.

Currently, requests are closed. However, I've decided that requests are reopened on my days off. The days should be listed in my bio.

Q: Do you accept anonymous requests?

A: Yes, I do! I also will not publish asks from users unless the user specifically clarifies that they are okay with it, just in case the user sent the ask from their blog on accident. User asks that aren't specified as safe to publish will be responded to privately when the request is filled.

Q: How will I know my request is filled?

A: As stated above, anonymous asks and user asks clarified as safe to publish will be published with a response. User asks without any clarification will be responded to privately. Anonymous asks asking for privacy for any reason will not be published. Messages will also get a reply. Users who send requests that are kept private will not be tagged unless you ask me to. Users with published asks will always be tagged in the final post, but it is totally okay to ask me to change or erase the tag! Other than this, checking for posts is up to the requester.

Other Kinds of Interaction

Q: Is there anyone who you don't want interacting with your blog?

A: Anyone complicit in nazism, racism, transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, xenophobia, pedophilia/MAPs, or any other politicized violence against a people is uneqivocally not welcome to engage with my work. I also have a zero tolerance policy for true crime fans who support or absolve serial killers. Please respect this - anyone who doesn't will be blocked. Anyone who pushes the issue will be reported.

Q: What about kink or otherkin blogs?

A: Honestly, I don't know much about either community. As of now, I'm fine with interaction. I'd ask that I not receive any kin related requests, because I am not familiar with the concept, community, and issues accompanying. Kinks can be requested but as stated above, are not guaranteed to be filled. Please don't bring discourse or discourse related requests here. I am not equipped to or interested in getting involved. If that changes, I have a main and other side blogs. This blog will never be a place for it.

Q: Are you okay if we interact with you or send you asks and messages that aren't requests?

A: Absolutely! I would love to talk with you. I am always interested in discussing any of the topics covered on this blog, or anything else for that matter! I pride myself on trying to be not just nice, but kind, and hopefully that comes through in every interaction. However, I'll expect the same courtesy from anyone who'd reach out to me, or use my posts to communicate to others for that matter. Anyone who doesn't will be, you guessed it, blocked. Anyone who pursues it further, yeah, will be reported.

Q: You have a lot of rules about requests and interaction, but you don't seem to post much and you aren't very active. Is this all just awkward and formal overkill, or is there a point?

A: I've explained all of this clearly, in as an accessible way as I can think of, because I want to eliminate the potential for drama, confusion, and other misunderstandings.

Online communities tend to be chock-full of plenty and I do not, nor does anyone who visits, need another reason to be tired. I'm not detailing all of this upfront because I expect to be very popular, or because I like listening to myself talk for paragraphs on end. I don't want a theoretical lack of information to be used to hurt either myself or others, though some of it shouldn't have to be spelled out in the first place.

But considering how ridiculously easy it is to misinterpret each other online, and how much of a disadvantage neuroatypical people like myself are when things are left just implicit rather than made what you could argue as exhaustingly explicit, I figured a crazy FAQ was a small price to pay for a peaceful environment.

TLDR: it certainly might be overkill, but that doesn't mean there is no point to it.

Q: What should requesters and followers call you anyways?

A: I'm fine with my username. If you're going for a different vibe, Red or Darlings sounds nice too. If you can come up with something catchier, feel free to try!

💀💀💀

On that note, I also may be slow going when it comes to requests. All I can do is promise to put a lot of thought into my replies, even though speed is not guaranteed. Any other questions can be asked directly, and I would be more than happy to answer them!

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #naruto imagines #mcu imagines #male yandere #yandere suggestions #yandere aesthetic #darlingsdontdie's content #darlingsdontdie's FAQ

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theartfuldodger26 · 5 years

Note

For the prompt I'll be predictable: Harry Potter, Bellamort and Bellatrix 😁

Thanks for the prompts, @bellamort1993! Feel free to answer the same :)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character:

Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort.

Bella is the closest to my heart, but apparently I waste the most brainmatter on Tom/Voldemort, so *shrugs*

Harry is my favourite light character, he’s an admirable person.

Least Favorite character:

Umbridge, as is universally accepted.

Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Bellamort (which is canon, bitches)

Delphi/Harry (it will become canon, you just wait for TCC part3)

Tomarry but not Harrymort (nearly counts as canon judging by how often Harry gushes over handsome Tom’s face)

Drarry (I’m human and susceptible to fandom mainstream, plus there’s some fantastic fics out there)

Delphi/Victoire (cause two pretty, hot-headed ladies are my cup of tea any day)

Character I find most attractive:

Bellatrix, hands down. Then Voldemort can do things to me too, but Bella would be my first choice.it’s so nice being bi, isn’t it.

Character I would marry:

No one, I’m happy by myself.

Delphi can be my angsty fuck buddy with whom we meet every once in a while, bitch, get drunk, cry and fuck.

Character I’d be friends with:

Harry, tho I’m not the best of friends and he does bring an unappealing high mortality rate to any occasion. It’s fiiine.

a random thought:

The wizarding world makes zero sense in so many places. They haven’t had an Industrial Revolution, meaning they haven’t known first hand the new ideas that came with it, and they seem to be stuck in the Middle Ages in many ways, even if they dont seem extremely Christian as these times actually were. We know little about the political system and their beliefs are so random. It’s really confusing.

An unpopular opinion:

Idk what’s unpopular these days. Aside from Albus’ name, I actually liked the Epilogue.

It showed what we needed to know: that Harry and the rest made it out okay. They found the courage to face their destroyed community and rebuild, even though they had gone through enough during the war. I think JKR said it herself in an interview how important rebuilding is after a catastrophe, how it can daunt even the bravest people. The miracles of Japan and Germany bouncing back and better after WWII are relevant real-life examples here.

A married Harry, enthusiastic about hugging his kids goodbye on their first day of school, a day that to him symbolises a new beginning, is the greatest gift and it does not erase the pain he might feel every day for going through hell in his early life. In fact, it’s this snipet of normalcy what he craved as a boy and refused to daydream about because its weight would be too much,and now he gets to have it. Along with the nightmares and the PTSD and the new challenges yes, but now, in this moment, as he waves to the new generation that he helped create, he’s safe, loved and happy. He deserves it.

Second unpopular opinion: I don’t give a damn if McGonagall’s timeline is screwed up by bringing her to life in the 20′s. Didn’t really matter to the story before and she’s a freaking badass and comic relief, which is the best combo ever. Is it fan-bating or whatever it was called? Sure. But if she makes the story better with her presense I give minus two fucks about when JKR originally said she was born (also, newsflash: people have the right to change HC’s, especially people who don’t shit about maths, like our dear creator)

My Canon OTP:

BELLAMORT

Seriously, I have screenshoted the details of TCC where it shows they’re canon.

My Non-canon OTP:

Harry/Delphi

I know, I’m sick, it’s fine. *insert dog sipping coffee in the flaming house meme here*

Most Badass Character:

Bellatrix, handsdown.

McGonagall for good people.

Most Epic Villain:

Voldemort, we’d have no books without him. He can be dumb, but it’s cute.

Pairing I’m not a fan of:

I’m not huge on non-canon Hermione ships, and anything with Snape is gross.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

…Snape? Not his character, but the positive light she gave him by naming Harry’s kid after him. It appeared she was clear on him not being an admirable person, but then he’s the bravest bloke ever? No, ma’am.

On a Fantastic Beasts note, I do hope they handle the backstories of all characters well. We’ll surely get back to this after the FB series are over.

Favourite Friendship:

The Golden Trio, they work as a three-man-group better, I won’t devide them. Also, as a part-time writer I have to admire how the writing and dynamics were handled, it’s so hard to think as more than one person, not to mention three!

Character I most identify with:

PostAzkaban!Bellatrix feels she’s letting her master and herself down, and so do I. I keep looking for my former self. Who wasn’t much after all, but had some qualities I should recultivate.

Character I wish I could be:

… I’d like to have some Bellamort qualities that I lack, but in general I’m fine working on myself.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them:

After I finished the books, so that’s since 2007. 12 cool, angsty years.

My thoughts:

I love them, they’re my evil babies. In fact, I don’t even have reasons for loving them, as most shippers do, I’d just die for them, end of reasoning.

What makes me happy about them:

That they’re complicately made for each other in their unique goth way. And that in the end they had a kid, which I think helped Voldemort out a lot with his issues with intimacy and emotions.

What makes me sad about them:

That they died *sobs hysterically*.

Also in the books they have like two scenes together. (HE SCREAMED THO)

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Seeing Bella’s character butchered down to a snivelling, slavish idiot, though these aren’t Bellamort fics usually.

In Bellamort fics, it feels like a cheat when it says Bellamort but it’s just Bella pining and Voldemort really not caring. I don’t have a problem with the POV, but it needs to be tagged as unrequited. Otherwise I’m open to perspectives.

Things I look for in fanfic:

Good writing, mostly.

I’m also a huge fan of Muggle!AU’s, so if you have that, I’ll read it, no questions asked XD

My wishlist:

On Amazon? :P Fine, I’ll show myself out

I presume this means wishlist on fics/art with these two, but do correct me if I’m wrong. I dont have one, since I write myself, so whatever I want to read, I write. Right now I’m eager to finish the following Bellamort fics:

1. Harry finds out about Bellamort via looking through Voldy’s stuff.

2. BellaDiesButVoldyWins!AU

3. Voldemort discovers his breastfeeding kink

4. A therewasonlyonebed!fic

5. Tomarry turns Bellamort in Easter setting, Muggle!AU, Harry wets himself in the process

In general I’d say I’d like to see more classic, tropy fanfics with these two, lighter ones, you know. Angst is great, but let us enjoy the coffeeshop!AU too.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Alone and miserable.

I guess Bella would have been okay with Rodolphus, had Tom/Voldemort never been born.

And Voldemort/Tom would have been fine too with some nameless pretty woman he did not love but had to marry to keep face.

But I think that they would have never been truly happy with anyone else. especially Tom, he’d never be really comfortable with anyone.

My happily ever after for them:

VoldemortWins!AU, they conquer Europe, Bella is Minister for War, Voldemort the Emperor. Maybe they have a kid, maybe a couple more or none at all, who cares, the point is they live and fulfull their dreams of revolutionising the Wizarding Wolrd.

I also have a sappy afterlife!AU where for a while Bella is imprisoned at the family castle for having a halfblood little bastard, goes half-insane as Voldemort seacrhes for her (they had a spat right after they got there), and Delphi kills herself and goes to find her dad in small-child form. They finally get tgether and live deathly ever after in some Norwegian fjord in the frozen tundra. (it’s also my personal happy ending, only it’s cats and snakes)

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character:

I love Bella. She’s a bitch and a sadist, but I love her.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:

The one and only, his majesty the Dark Lord himself.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:

Rodolphus, he’s her only friend.

Also, sad HC: Bella was very close to Andromeda until she got too involved with Voldemort and his cause, and they drifted apart. No one wept harder than Bella after Andy left, and it was her who spent days banging on the Tonks’ door to let them speak to her. Voldy could squeeze tears out of his shirt after she fell asleep on him crying about it.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Again, not sure about what’s unpopular.

I believe she suffers from genuine mental illness that tortures her a lot and makes her life (and her shared life with Voldemort too) very hard. Also I find her more self-doubting and reserved than most authors, hard working and largely indifferent to people who aren’t Voldemort.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

Actual romantic scene would have been nice, but HE SCREAMED after all. Let’s not ask for too much.

Favorite friendship for this character:

Rodolphus and Andromeda. Recently I’ve started Brotp-ing Sirius with Bella too, before they parted ways.

My crossover ship:

I don’t really have any other fandoms, sorry.

Well, that was fun! Thanks again!

#ask #bellamort #bellatrix lestrange #lord voldemort #bellamort1993

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thecharmingknightemma · 4 years

Text

rules

Hello everyone! I'm sorry if this is long but it's necessary so that you can jump straight into writing with me even if Emma is nearly an oc or a stranger to your muses - and because I'm not English and want to be sure it's all clear. I've been writing for eight years and I'm known to be chill and accommodating but I am also extremely aware of what my preferences and comfort zones are so please read the rules.

My name is Ele, I'm 31, cis woman, super friendly, slow because chronically ill especially when it comes to ooc chat which require too much energy and focus from me, so while I love plotting and commenting threads don't expect ooc chats to be a priority if they aren't fully about the threads. This blog has sideblogs: 'monsterinamusicbox', sosadandyetsoamazing, musesonawhim, and more might come.

This is an AU Blog so you don't really need to have seen OUAT because this is NOT canon Emma Swan, there is no Storybrooke, and the princess Emma who remembers what was meant to happen in OUAT will let you know everything that you missed; so you'll need to read Emma's bio, either her AU enchanted forest backstory OR the backstory from our world which can fit Marvel, DC and other shows, depending on which character you play (it's awkward to realize the other person has no idea of what I'm writing, like I said, this won't be Emma Swan even in our world, she's been raised by her parents).

There is another backstory for non Enchanted Forest crossovers that doesn't have an abusive ex in it, check it out if the original one is triggering for you. You can request it, no explanation needed.

update of July 26: due to my health and lack of time I can't try to plot with every single mutual even if I follow first, so I ask you to please give me a sign you read my pages and would like to rp. Either by liking my many plotting calls, sending me a meme, liking starter calls, anything will do. Often when I try to plot people haven't read my pages yet or don't reply, and it's a lost occasion to plot with people who are ready. Thank you for your understanding.

WHO I RP WITH

I’m mutuals only and selective. If I don't follow you and you try to rp I'll ignore you, because I get anxious about saying no. If curious you can find reasons why I didn't follow you back here. Memes and opens have no expiration date. Untagged nsfw = I unfollow. Some shows I prefer not to interact with because I don't know them or aren't into some of their themes: vampire diaries, teen wolf, riverdale, gossip girls and any zombie/demons show outside of IZombie, Lucifer and Buffy/Angel.

Between asterisks it's what only people who write ouat characters need to read, the rest is for everyone:

**If your character is involved in her backstory, you have every right to discuss details with me so you won't feel godmodded/forced to adapt to it! I will also change things connected to your ch, for example if I write with a Jefferson, Emma's bff will be Ariel and not Grace. I'd rather not interact with ocs that are supposed to be her siblings or children etc. Henry was never born so if you play Henry we should plot it out because my Emma can’t be pregnant as a kid or she will be a completely different character.**

In this blog due to backstory issues she would want Regina dead so I prefer NOT to interact nor come up with new aus in which she’s fine with it (I have 2 plotted exceptions and that’s enough for me), and same goes for people who are currently villains from any fandom, though in that case we can plot out exceptions in which they aren’t being villains; if they are a grey-area, aren't people who hurt her family, and if you are pro-redemption it's fine, if not Emma wouldn't submit to anyone or bother to chat, she will try to kill them or die, so no threads are really doable. She's also not the type to hang out/bother with characters who are rude to her or to insist if they want her to leave, or to support who keeps manipulating her, hurting people or doesn't seem to be helped by her presence at all but keeps coming to her with pain to share (the latter would get a therapist card). Basically: Killian Jones the way he was written in the show, or even a Rumplestiltskin who found Belle and chose to do better and so on are fine. Villains who will mistreat Emma, have hurt her family, or are currently hunting children for sport? Not good for Emma.

TRIGGERS AND WHAT I WON’T WRITE

Triggers will be tagged ‘name of the trigger tw’, you can always ask me to tag more AND tell me if something in her backstory makes you uncomfortable, so that I can find a solution (that issue is resolved/doesn't need to be mentioned) or tell you if it can't be skipped and you can choose not to write with me. I don’t write about miscarriage, toxic/abusive relationships and rape between my character and yours (temporarily evil due to magic/Dark One Emma being manipulative is fine, but rape is still a no). It’s not exactly a trigger but please tag your gore and body horror? The topic of hell is also complicate, I need you not to focus too much on torture and eternal damnation. And please, PLEASE, tag your daddy kink/mommy kink references ic and ooc.

MEMES

I’d rather get asks when you want to start a thread, reblog all the memes you want from me. I will reblog from the source or send you one if you prefer it that way but I don’t care if you reblog them from me.

ACTIVITY

Sometimes I'm fast, some I'm slow, but you can have as many threads with me as you want, take your time, reply as much as you want as long as you give me enough to write, drop threads, send memes or not. I like icons but I don't need them to write, you can stop using them whenever.

NSFW and relationships

NSFW of the smut kind will be tagged as such and usually put under read more. I don’t write smut with everyone, only with people I know ooc/feel comfortable writing it with. I love shipping but I DON'T FORCESHIP, FRIENDSHIPS ARE WELCOMED. My Emma is straight. I do not romantically ship her with Neal/Baelfire even in aus, in her dark witch verse he's a past love Emma Swan had. Happy to find out if a relationship works between my Emma and Killian (my nearly automatic otp if you don't write him darker than in canon), the Huntsman, AU Pinocchio, Jefferson, and more if there is chemistry, but friendship is open to any of them too. Here for crossover ships as well. I’d really appreciate if you could tag your Swan Queen and Swan Thief, thank you.

OTHER FANDOMS I LIKE

Due to potential aus or crossovers, as in princess Emma showing up through a portal or me writing aus to adapt to your fandom, I want to bring up that some of the shows and movies I know are/what she can be in them with small changes to her regular backstory:

AOS (she can easily be inhuman or an alien),

Avengers movies (and at least Thor, Cap, Iron Man and Hulk’s movies), Ant-Man, Captain Marvel (same as above),

the 100 (she’s too happy to be anything but someone who comes from an unknown village or comes from one of the unknown worlds),

Chuck (she can be an ordinary human being, enhanced person/semi-alien depending on who rps the Chuck characters),

Elementary (she can be a regular human or whatever you want)

Flash (she can be a metahuman),

Guardians of the Galaxy (Same as for Marvel),

Legends of Tomorrow (human, alien, metahuman),

Doctor Who (she can be anything),

Firefly: she can be anything (I can also shake things up with her being an alien/having powers OR by coming from the planet where fairy tales are real).

Galavant (same universe as the Enchanted Forest),

Supergirl (she can be an ordinary human or alien),

IZombie (human or zombie),

Lost (she can be anything anything)

Buffy and Angel but only the tvshows (human, witch, one of the many new slayers),

Timeless (human unless the other rper prefers a crossover),

Lord of the Rings (probably just princess Emma portal jumping?)

pretty much any famous sitcom like Friends, the Office, Parks and Rec, b99 (likely she can only be human unless asked otherwise).

Also Lucifer and Good Omens (she could be an ordinary human or it’s more of a crossover in which she comes from her own universe and has magic), and more I can’t think of right now.

#rules page

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thevoilinauttheory · 5 years

Text

Character Info | Amosis

Full Name: Amosis (He has no written surname, though will comment Lellouche if pestered enough.)

Pronunciation: Amo-sis Le-lou-sh

Nicknames: Amy, begrudgingly, by someone he tolerates.

Gender: Male

Height: 6 fulms, 2 ilms

Age: Appears to be in his late 20s. Will not give away his age. If pestered enough, he *might* say 28. It changes every time someone asks. He doesn’t actually know how old he is.

Zodiac: Birthday Unknown; is probably a Capricorn or Sagittarius - despite conflicting with the nameday he’s chosen for himself.

Languages: Common, Old Ishgardian, Old Sharlayan, Ul’dahn, Ancient Nymian, Ancient Mhachi, Ancient Amdapori, Ancient Allagan, Ixali, Dragonspeak/Dravanian - is fairly fluent in all of them. There are a few others that one wouldn’t seem to know, as if he made them up himself. Knows phrases and words of Ilsabardian and Hingan.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS

Hair Color: Black with dark brown highlights.

Eye Color: Maroon, nothing bright, just a subtle red.

Skin Tone: Tan, on the darker side.

Body Type: Well toned, athletic, built for speed not physical strength.

Accent: It’s hard to pinpoint where his accent comes from, as it’s strangely... foreign. His R’s roll much like a Miqo’te, though smoother; he has a tendency to draw out his S’s - yet the tone in his voice is incredibly monotone.

Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous?

Posture: Usually stiff, mostly proper. Keeps his back straight, though will relax his arms to fold over his chest or rest on his hips.

Scars: Absolutely none.

Tattoos: None, as well.

Most noticeable features: Amosis always wears the metallic mask over his eyes - why? No one can say for sure. He mentions that it helps him see better, but it’s kind of hard to tell how, considering it blocks his entire vision range. For someone who dresses much like an adventurer, he has a surprising absence of scars, nicks, marks, or wounds. Not even so much as a scrape or spot of dirt.

CHILDHOOD

Place of Birth: Is unsure, will usually tell people around the Coerthas area. Which isn’t far off, it was in current Mor Dhona.

Hometown: Spends a lot of time in both Ul’dah and Limsa Lominsa

Birth Weight/Height: Unknown, absolutely no records in any cities’ files. Seems this guy just appeared out of thin air.

Manner of Birth: Also unknown. Though one could assume he was a healthy baby based on his current health.

First Words: Tree

Siblings: None. (Might have a twin out there, who knows? *cough*)

Parents: No records or names can be found. He doesn’t remember.

Parental involvement: He doesn’t remember his parents, at all, in the slightest. In actuality, they were not very prominent in his life due to a busy work life - and, due to the fact that he was not fit for anything but as a historian, they only took care of him the bare minimum until he would be put to death. At sixteen, when he got his career as a museum curator, they cut him out of their life entirely.

ADULTHOOD

Occupation: Museum Curator, Historian, Sociologist; possible botanist.

Current Residence: Resides in Mist, however, his museum is located in Goblet (Zalera, Ward 17, Plot 28 - still under construction)

Close Friends: None. Tries to keep himself as distanced as possible.

Relationship Status: Single.

Financial Status: Both dirt poor and rich at the same time. Makes just enough to make ends meet, saves pennies as much as he can. (He hopes to expand his museum once he has enough saved up.)

Driver’s License: You probably shouldn’t let him drive anything, but he does know how to drive most Garlean tech somehow.

Vices: None, that he can think of. When nervous or stressed, he will lock himself away for days on end with no sleep - but does not drink, smoke, partake in drugs, whore, or gamble. Would an apathetic nature and mindset count?

SEX & ROMANCE

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual?

Romantic Orientation: Panromantic? / Demiromantic

Preferred Emotional Role: Submissive | Dominant | Switch

Preferred Sexual Role: Submissive | Dominant | Switch

Libido: If he has one, he never lets anyone see it.

Turn Ons: Intelligence. Submissive behavior - though doesn’t like when his partner submits on the spot; pain or roughness towards partner. Very animalistic and “primitive” in his turn ons. Destruction of clothing and property. Scratching, biting, hair pulling.

Turn Offs: Being dominated. The lie down and take it types. Being bound, blindfolded, or otherwise restricted movement, speech, sight, or hearing.

Love Language: Unsure. He’s never liked anyone enough to know what to do. But awkward, flustered, or strangely embarrassed nature that isn’t part of his character might be an indication. Or becoming increasingly more curious about the one that he finds interest in - will probably be blatant about what they are physically attracted to, and may (somehow) change his body accordingly.

Relationship Tendencies: None. He’s never been in a relationship before.

MISCELLANEOUS

Hobbies to Pass the Time: Reading, Writing, tending to plants, growing plants, or categorizing plants in his own hand-written encyclopedia. Staring at people in a dark corner.

Mental Illnesses: PTSD, Insomnia, Severe Apathy. (Survivor’s Guilt, if you consider it an illness more than a mental block.)

Physical Illnesses/Disabilities: None.

Left or Right Brained: Left

Fears: Earthquakes, failure, losing his work. Being buried alive; the sound of scraping metal and breaking glass. Death.

Self-Confidence Level: Average. He has his ups and downs, but generally portrays himself as prideful, egotistical, and a megalomaniac.

Vulnerabilities: The above three - he is prideful, egotistical, and a megalomaniac. Apathetic to a fault - does not understand emotions or social cues. Surprisingly easy to startle if one manages to sneak up on him before he sneaks up on them. Too curious. Will go through comically large lengths to be nosy.

Tagged once more, but this time, by @jarethnunh! Thank you! For Maximiloix Voilinaut’s page, click here!

Might consider doing it for all of my playable XIV characters.... hmmm...

Not tagging anyone for this one, because I tagged everyone with the last one! BUT. @jasleh and @renofmanyalts, you can consider this a second tag to make one for another character of yours! Mwahaha!

Edit: it was 4am and I had the wrong person on who tagged me so sorry!

#tagged answers #about: Amosis

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