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#i think will could also work as ‘the son’ seeing as hes more tied to vecna than el technically is
donghuamuqing · 2 years
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Vecna is the father, el is the son, and will is the holy ghost
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pearlywritings · 7 months
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'Mom' to his 'Dad'
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synopsis: just a collective bulleted drabble of all the thoughts I had about raising Yanqing together with Jing Yuan (yet somehow not being married (yet))
pairing: Jing Yuan x fem!reader
tw: fluff, domestic fluff, modern AU, CEO!Jing Yuan (because why not), dad!Jing Yuan, adopted son!Yanqing, from co-parenting to dating, from friends to lovers
word count: 1.8k+ words
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CEO!Jing Yuan who looks hella fine in any clothes, but especially good in gray and carmine red suits. Who absolutely hates wearing ties, but has zero complaint when you, after staying the night before, wrap one around his neck. He feels soft when you lecture him, but in the end say he looks good, smoothing the lapels of his jacket, making sure his appearance is intact before turning around and hurrying to check on Yanqing’s preparations for school.
CEO!Jing Yuan who is a great leader, a nice boss and obviously a great catch, but who also hasn’t shown any interest in any suitor who’s attempted to woo him in the last decade. And he is 33 already. There have been many gossips swirling in the company, most potent about you and him, rumored to be in a secret relationship and raising a kid together. Well… they are not wrong on the second part.
CEO!Jing Yuan who after the passing of his two friends took their eight-year old son under his wing. Who had never dealt with children, especially this young, but who was lucky enough to have you - a dear friend since university, now a coworker, understanding and compassionate enough to leave your house at 3am to drive all the way to his residence after just one frantic call.
CEO!Jing Yuan who will never forget that night - you, running into the house after he let you in, with hair still messy and clearly first clothes you dug from the closet thrown on you. You looked like a cute ruffled sparrow, which quickly transformed into a mother hen when he better explained his troubles about a little kid - now his adopted son - and how he couldn’t get him to fall asleep at the new place. You too didn’t know much about handling children, but you were willing to try and the white-haired man couldn’t ask for more. Both called off work the next day.
CEO!Jing Yuan who since then has a room in his house that belongs to you - over the years it got filled with your personal things, redesigned (twice!) to your tastes, and has been occupied over the years for almost half of each passing week.
CEO!Jing Yuan who adores Yanqing - the boy proved to be feisty, but at the same time he was very sweet and nice to have around. Jing Yuan didn’t think twice about adopting the little guy the moment he learnt of his friends’ passing, turning from a godfather to just a father. He, obviously, didn’t force Yanqing to call him dad, making up his mind that even if it never happens - it’s totally fine. Due to the age the boy could understand why his parents weren’t there and Jing Yuan was making all he could to give him a good life, a normal life. He was so lucky that you tugged along.
CEO!Jing Yuan who almost cried when Yanqing absentmindedly called him ‘dad’. The ten-year old didn’t even notice it, but to the man it meant the world. He spammed you with messages, all in caps and with weeping emojis, and felt his heart about to combust when you sent him a response full of excitement, congratulating him. And then messaged about how you wished to hear the boy call him dad the next time you were around. Damn, he wished so too.
CEO!Jing Yuan, who loves having you around. He melts when he returns to the living room after going to refill the snack bowl only to see Yanqing cuddled closely to you, staring at the screen with his head tucked under your chin. His lips tug into a wide smile when the boy asks you if you can be the one to get him from school tomorrow instead of Jing Yuan’s personal driver (and you always say ‘yes’, even if it means you’ll sacrifice your lunch break). A pleasant shiver runs down both his and the boy’s backs when you walk into Yanqing’s room to check on the two doing homework and gently scratch their heads. Jing Yuan loves the domestic life the two of you created.
CEO!Jing Yuan, who encouraged his son when a couple of years later he wondered if it’s okay if he started calling you ‘mom’. The man told him to approach you the next time you were staying over and ask your opinion on the matter. Which the boy did, shyly reaching out for your hand and when you gave it to him with a smile, dropped a bomb. Jing Yuan remembers the slight hesitation flashing in your eyes, how you lifted him and got him into your lap to be on the same eye level with him.
“Baby, are you sure?”
“Mhm. You’ve always been there. You raise me. And I really love you and want you to be my mom.”
“Even if I am not your father’s wife?”
“Maybe you should become her? But either way, yes.”
CEO!Jing Yuan who now can’t get the boy’s words out of his head. Yanqing is right - you’ve always been there. For them both. His, no, your son is thirteen now - meaning that for five years you’ve helped your friend raise the boy - you were not obligated to be there for his special events, you weren’t paid to take days off and sit with him when he was sick, no one asked you to kiss his forehead and tuck him into bed, there were no rules that said that you have to share his hobbies… Yet, you did. Always. And the man has always been very aware of that, but only his son’s words seem to open his eyes - both of you are his parents. Maybe it’s a shame you are not spouses.
CEO!Jing Yuan who feels kind of bad - you’ve spent 5 years of your life being a family to Yanqing and, admittedly, the man himself. You’ve given up searching for a partner, starting a family of your own just to make sure that the kid who has no relation to you grows healthy and happy. He can’t help but love and appreciate you.
CEO!Jing Yuan who finds out that you’ve been having similar thoughts about him after that conversation with your son. He really didn’t mean to overhear, he just wanted to drop by your office at the beginning of the break and offer to go get lunch together, only to stop at the mention of his name that passed through the door. Apparently, you sought advice from Yukong - the head of the logistics department, a fellow mother and one of the few who knew what your family dynamic was really like. You are concerned that you took the place that wasn’t meant to you - you worry that Yanqing got attached to you so strongly that should Jing Yuan start seeing someone, the boy would be too stubborn to accept.
CEO!Jing Yuan, whose heart skips a beat, when the teal-haired woman asks you, why you are not entertaining the possibility that you can be the one the man seeks a relationship with. The same heart drops into his stomach when you sigh and tell her of him never showing interest. Things seem platonic to you. Well, not to your coworkers, it appears.
CEO!Jing Yuan and you, who freeze in your seats, when at the end of the meeting a new secretary of the man asks if ‘Mrs Jing will also attend the event’ hosted by one of the company’s biggest clients. Confused, you look at your friend, who's equally stunned (but secretly, realizing what kind of mistake it is, fights back a tiny spark of delight). It turns out that the secretary thought the two of you were husband and wife and for that reason gave you the man’s last name. If it’s not the sign, then what is?
CEO!Jing Yuan who goes clothes shopping with you - because you both indeed are going to be at the event and the man insists the two of you buy something matching. When you ask why, he slyly smiles and promises that it’s his way of ‘showing interest’. At first you don’t get it. But when your cheeks heat up he knows the message is clear to you. You do call him a scoundrel and he heartily laughs at that, but you still reach out to his hand and he readily interlocks your fingers.
CEO!Jing Yuan who notices you getting flirtier, one time in particular not leaving his mind. He was comfortably sitting on the sofa, having everything he needed to push through the last bits of work he had decided to take home (‘everything’ being just his laptop and a mug of steaming tea). That’s when you approached him from the back, laying your palms on top of his shoulders, gently kneading the tense muscles, working a low appreciative grunt out of his throat.
“Yuan?”
“Mmm?”
“You look stressed,” fingers dug a little rougher into his flesh and the man groaned, shoulder flinching. Only for his whole body to go rigid when your voice fanned right against his ear, ”I know how to fix it.”
And then you innocently proposed to go to the gym together once he’d be done. Honestly? For a stunt like that Jing Yuan wanted to bite you.
CEO!Jing Yuan who does get his teeth onto you as you are trying to escape the trap of his arms after waking up from the cute cuddling session with Yanqing. Only for the boy to be gone upon your awakening (and you hear some shuffling in the kitchen) and a very hot man - your friend? boss?? unofficial-but-everyone-thinks-you-are-together lover??? - pressing your back into his chest with arms firmly circling your waist. When you attempt to move away, he suddenly surges forward and clamps his mouth onto the exposed juncture between your neck and shoulder. And nibbles.
“Jing Yuan!”
“Hufshf,” he mumbles into your skin, before releasing it and burying his face into your neck. “Don’t shout, you’ll alert Yanqing, and I want some more time with you.”
“...why?”
“Why?” He muses, and you feel a smile pressed to the back of your neck. “Because I think we’d make great as a couple.”
CEO!Jing Yuan who comes to an agreement with you that for the longest time it felt like the two of you were indeed a married couple. You share a place, you do most domestic things together, you go to places together, you raise a son together. And together you come to a conclusion that courting is due.
CEO!Jing Yuan who absolutely shares Yanqing’s sweet anticipation for when you will be able to legally adopt him. Which means - marrying his father (just let this man put a ring on your finger already).
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messylustt · 1 year
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Helloo, I came up with an idea of Ethan Landry X stepmom!Reader. It's pretty kinky, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I wish you a fantastic day ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Also..Love your work so muchhhh.
not uncomfortable at all sweetheart x i love forbidden tropes.
౨ৎ ‧˚ 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧-𝐭𝐨-𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐦𝐨𝐦 (𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐲) : scream
stepcest, kinda dub con, kinda big age-gap (ethan is 19 in this, so legal), people pleaser reader, manipulation, faint touch on bailey x reader (not detailed), finger in mouth (I do this a lot); cheating
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You heard your fiancé call from your shared bedroom, asking where he had left his ties.
"The second draw in the closet, hon!" You call back as you drop the grocery bags and keys on the kitchen bench.
Ethan watches from the couch, a scowl on his face upon hearing the pet name falling from your lips. One would think he's just disgusted to hear his dad and almost mum being affectionate. But that's not the case at all.
When Ethan had first met you he was surprised to see how young you were. He had thought you were far too young for his dad, but that could also be clued up to the fact that he found you pretty. Beautiful in fact. And as he had let his gaze travel, gulping, he realised how fucked he was if a ring found it's way onto your finger.
And that's exactly what happened. His dad had proposed, and the wedding was scheduled, causing his response to every sweet thing you said to him to be sour and rude.
You thought Ethan didn't like you. You wanted to make an effort without seeming to intrusive. Quinn seemed to be fine with you, saying how she's glad that her dad has found someone.
Bailey walked out, tightening his tie. He gave you a passing smile before rushing out the door. The police firm had some sort of dinner, where Bailey was determined to make a good impression on his boss.
Ethan continued to watch you as his dad left, leaving you take out the grocceries alone. Ethan really couldn't believe that his dad had somehow scored you. He was old, and you were in all honesty closer to Ethan's age, a much more appropriate suitor for him.
Ethan always kept you at arms length as your close proximity left him on edge to act. There were many instances where Ethan could have touched you. Innocent touches that would send his hand into his boxers when the sun was gone. Your name just a mere whimper from his lips as his head hit back against his headboard. Even moments in public, when his dad was just in the next room, working, Ethan could have let his hand wander when you both sat on the couch.
"Hey, Ethan. Any preference for dinner?" You called to Ethan, placing random food items into the fridge and cupboard.
You always spoke so sweetly to him. Ethan knew how much you wanted him to like you. But as a stepson should like his stepmum. Nothing more. And that set the scowl back onto Ethan's face.
"I don't really care." He dismissed, turning to face the tv, clicking at the remote as he scanned channels. But he barely paid attention to the show, catching your melodious voice hum a quiet tune.
Ethan wanted you to shut up, because your sweet tasting voice was making his head spin with thoughts no son should be thinking. He was a good son. He was. But when he glanced behind him at the kitchen as you rolled your sleeves up, revealing even more skin, his resolve began to break.
But then you paused, glancing over at Ethan, who quickly busy's himself with the show, acting as though he'd never been eyeing you. "Do you mind if we just get take out? Since your dad is out all night, and Quinn is with a friend."
Ethan spared you glance, trying to cool the heat threating to spill from his gaze, as he nodded. You walk over to him, resting your hands behind him against the couch. Ethan stiffens, smelling your signature perfume. He shifts by the cushions. "You don't mind?" You ask softly.
Ethan glances up at you, his breath hitching, when he meets your gentle, almost tender gaze. "Uh, yeah. No, that's fine." He quickly says, turning back to face the tv.
"Great." You sigh, landing beside him on the couch, as you bring your phone out to call the nearby pizza place.
Ethan's gaze instantly goes to your bare legs, your shorts riding up past mid thigh. If he just tilted his head slightly, he could probably see your panties—
He coughs, placing a pillow over his lap, as he tries to get distracted by the show.
You then tap his shoulder, as you whisper in his ear, asking what pizza he'd like. Ethan had to quickly answer, saying a simple pepperoni, his mind too hazy to come up with anything more detailed.
Soon you're relaxed beside him on the couch, intently watching the show displayed on the screen. It's silent besides the series dialogue and your slow breathing. Ethan can't help but focus in on the latter, catching onto the way it hitches when something scary or surprising happened on screen.
Ethan had had to keep the pillow against his now prominent bulge. He couldn't let you see. But as you gradually drew closer to him, looking away with a gasp when a monster would jump out, screaming through the tv, Ethan slowly grew to want you to notice. Maybe you'd help him. But he knew that that was wishful thinking. You were with his dad, his soon to be stepmom. Ethan clenched his jaw.
"God, Ethan." You gasp. "How can you watch this stuff so calmly?" You ask, eyes wide as you stare at the screen. Your legs had curled up to your body, your chest heaving up and down quickly.
Then your hand flies out to grab Ethan's arm, your eyes shutting tight at a disgusting view of someone getting eaten alive. Ethan glanced down at your tight grip, a small smile slowly edging his lips.
He can't help but lean closer to you, whispering. "I didn't think you were such a pussy."
You open your eyes to meet Ethan's gaze. You go to retract your hand, but Ethan quickly grabs it, keeping it pressed to his body. "I wouldn't want my soon to be stepmom to hate me, for not giving her comfort when she's scared." He mocks out.
You scoff. "It's you who hates me." You say, letting Ethan rub his thumb over the skin of your hand, as you slightly jump when a monster again cries on screen.
"'Hate's' a bit harsh." Ethan says, liking the way you grip his hand tighter.
"But it's true." You shift your gaze back to him. "You don't really like me do you?" There was a sense of sadness in your voice. You really wanted everyone to feel comfortable with your new role. Especially Bailey's children.
Ethan tilts his head. A devious, very wrong plan 'light bulbs' over his head. He shouldn't want to execute it, but then you shuffle closer to him, trying to brush off your fear as you getting more comfrtable. You were desperate for the family to like you. And Ethan was going to use that to his advantage.
Ethan interlaces your hands, letting them drop to his lap, keeping you close if you chose to move away. "How 'bout I make you a deal."
You glance at him, brows furrowed. You hadn't paid too much attention to your hands being interwined because your heart was already racing from the film. "Hm?"
Ethan grins. The first smile you'd seen from him. "If you can make it through a horror film of my choosing, I'll be nicer to you."
You nibble your lip in thought. "But I don't expect you to be totally nice to me. I just want you to be comfortable—"
"I'll be comfortable with you if you make it through the entire movie." Ethan cuts in, shifting slightly closer to you.
You pause, taking a breath to prepare yourself. "Alright. Deal." You smile.
Ethan's grin widens as he grabs the remote, choosing the movie. He chose the scariest most disturbing one he knew, knowing you'd freak out and touch him again. He wanted to be able to comfort you without it seeming out of place.
The movie begins. And not even 10 minutes in your tucking you feet under a pillow, shifting closer to a satisfied Ethan. Ethan manages to lift his arm over the back of the couch, directely behind your body. You jump, placing your and over your eyes.
"No, no." Ethan says, grabbing your wrist and pulling your hand away. "You have to actually watch it."
"But, it's disgusting." You grimace. Ethan keeps his grip on your wrist, keeping your hand by his lap.
"You can always back out. But that means I won't like you being in this house." Ethan warns with a shrug.
A determined expression covers your face as you sit straighter, which resulted in your thigh being pressed against his own. Ethan finally lets his arm slip around your shoulder, just as a particually shocking jump scare makes you press much more into Ethan's side.
He chuckles, making you mutter a quiet 'shut up'. With your gaze wide on the screen, Ethan gets the chance to stare at you, your face close.
As the movie progresses cute expressions of fear and disgust have appeared on your face. And Ethan's hand has started to draw closer and closer to the collar of your loose shirt. Ethan had quickly realised that you weren't wearing a bra.
Screams from the tv fill the room but all Ethan can focus on is the way your chest heaves up and down. Then as if his hand has a mind of it's own, his fingers slowly draw down the collar of your shirt, his fingers grazing your skin.
At first you barely notice, but then you feel Ethan's hand slipping inside your shirt, grazing his fingers over your nipple. Your eyes grow wide as your body tenses. You hear a soft groan come from Ethan as he rubs over your nipple with much more intent.
"Ethan—" You say, turning to glance at him to see he's already staring at you with a hooded gaze, filled with lust. You grab his wrist, attempting to pull his hand out of your shirt, staying gentle so as not to offend him. "I'm sorry." You say trying to keep the tension light. "I shouldn't have sat so close."
You go to move away, but Ethan pulls you back by his arm around your shoulder, now covering part of your neck. He can't resist as your neck nears, his lips beginning to drag across the tender skin.
"Ethan, I shouldn't be this close." You quickly say, placing your hand against his chest. "I know you're probably just turned on b-by the chick on screen." You gulp out.
Ethan shakes his head, his tongue now licking at your neck, his eyes fluttering shut. His hand sinks back into your shirt, now grabbing your tit, beginning to massage it. Your breathing quickens because the rough feel of his large hand is making a shiver run down your spine. "Please...Ethan. We can't."
"Didn't you say you wanted me to like you?" Ethan asks, nipping at the skin of your neck.
"Yes. But not like this. You know not like this." You say, hating the feeling of your core heating up.
"No, no. You want me to like you." Ethan says, taking his hand out of your shirt, before he swiftly grabs your thigh, pulling you around so that your straddling him. The pillow covering his hard on now tossed onto floor. "This is the only way I will."
Then before you can say another word Ethan's lips are smashing onto yours, eagerly pulling you closer, so that his bulge presses against your clothed pussy. You gasp through the kiss as you hear Ethan whimper. He kisses you with a built-up passion that you weren't prepared for. There's a moment where you forget about your already committed relationship, but when Ethan's lips return to your neck, littering kisses along your jaw, you remember. "Wait, Ethan...we really can't."
"Then stop me." Ethan mutters, as he hurriedly removes your shirt, quickly going back to kissing you. Your attempts are futile because the way his kisses are making your head spin, and the way his hard on has begun to grind into you, you can't help but let your strength drift away.
You manage to glance at the door a worried expression present. "Don't worry, no one's coming home." Ethan consoles, his licks and kisses reaching your perky nipple. You choke a gasp when Ethan wraps his lips around one, carefully sucking.
"Shit— Ethan." You breath, your back arching on its own, resulting in your hips moving against his bulge. Ethan's stuttering breath hits your tit. You stop, realising what you did.
"God, no— please don't stop." Ethan begs, grabbing your hips and trying to move you over him again.
"But Ethan— god." You gulp as the friction makes your pussy weep. "You've never— it's your first...you need to find a girl your age." You manage.
Ethan kitten licks your nipple, shaking his head. "No better person than my stepmom." He husks out.
That shouldn't have made your body shudder but it did. Ethan grinds up into you, moving your hips against him as little moans fall from his lips. "You feel so good..." He pants, watching your boobs slightly bounce at the movement.
"You know how to please a guy." Ethan continues, running his hands up and down your sides. "And I barely know how to jerk off well without thinking of you." He confessed. "Show me...I want you to show me how you please my dad. I bet he doesn't even make you cum." Then he's pulling you back down for a kiss, a grin of Ethan's only managing to break it.
At the mention of Ethan's dad, you manage to place your hands on his chest, pushing him back into the couch. Ethan stares at you, lips swollen, and realises that you may need some more convincing.
"He won't find out. Ever. I can promise that." Ethan says, keeping his hands wrapped around your body.
"But I'm practically your stepmom..." You say, managing to get off Ethan's lap.
"Fine." Ethan sighs. He watches you stand, trying to straighten out your modesty by the brushes over your clothes. "You wouldn't mind if I continue...right?"
Your brows furrow despite everything. But then your face smooths out in shocked realisation as Ethan unzips his pants, sticking his hand into his boxers, all while holding your gaze. "Ethan..."
"I'm just so turned on right now, y/n." He says, faking innocence. "I can't help but—" His mouth opens in pleasure as he begins to stroke his cock, having brought it out for your shameful eyes to see. "It's your fault." Wet noises fill the room, the tv only rolling credits now. "And I won't forgive you."
Ethan's dark eyes are practically oozing with lust as he pumps himself, letting his gaze wander down your frozen body. Your legs are pressed together in some lame form of relief, because your pussy is pulsing.
"I don't like you in this house." Ethan contines, before spitting in his hand to make his strokes more fluid. "I don't like you with my dad— fuck." His hips slightly buck up into his palm. "Do you really like him? You don't do you?" Ethan lets his head hang back, as he bites his lip.
"Because why would a gorgeous young woman like you get with someone like my dad?" He continues to stroke himself, and in all honesty you should be walking away, telling Ethan how inappropriate this is. But all you can do is stand and stare and Ethan continues to use that to his advantage.
"Yeah." He hums, a soft chuckle following. "I bet your dying to feel young hands touching you." He glances down at your thighs pressed together. "I'd touch you." He breathes. "Everywhere, especially between your legs. I mean look at you." He meets your gaze and you gulp.
"Your body is begging to be touched." Ethan is now shamelessly thrusting into his hand. "Let me touch you." He begs, his chest heaving up and down.
He meets your hesitant gaze, though he can spot the lust hidden behind. "If not, then at least give me something to help with this.” He gestures to his rock hard cock with his head. “Even just those tasty tits."
You had covered your chest with your shirt, holding it tightly to you chest. Your mind has been battling with itself, and soon the lustful side wins. You step a fraction closer, making Ethan's eyes widen with excitement.
"You just want some help...right?" You slowly ask, to which Ethan nods, his breathing picking up. You sit beside him on the couch, as you hand slowly reaches out, grazing over the pre-cum that still covers the tip of his cock. Ethan's hips jolt as his breathing stutters.
"I'll just help you cum. That's all you want...right?" You ask, meeting his gaze.
Ethan quickly nods, his hand tightening around a cushion, as he watches you spit into your hand. You had let your shirt go, letting Ethan see your breasts. Ethan's mouth opens in pleasure as you begin to stroke him, little whimpers and whines leaving his lips. "Oh—god—" He gulps out, completely dazed.
"Why do you think of me when you jerk off? Why not that girl I've seen come over?" You ask, slightly quickening your pace.
Ethan's eye's roll for a moment before he tries to answer. "Because she isn't— shit— she doesn't look like you. Or sound like you."
"What do I sound like?" You ask, situating yourself more comfortably on the couch.
"You sound like— sound like heaven."
You chuckle. "That's very sweet."
Ethan's hips thrust up into your palm. "I just want to kiss you when you hum random tunes." He confesses. "Want to touch you, because your voice makes my cock— oh god."
"My voice?" You ask, facing him a little more, as Ethan's eyes reach your breasts, bouncing a fraction from the shift.
He groans. "Can I touch you?" He asks desperately.
"I'm only helping you—"
Ethan quickly cuts in. "This will help me...oh god, this will help. Please let me touch you— I-i'll cum quicker if I can touch you."
"…alright—"
Before you manage to say more Ethan's hand is flying out to grab one of your tits, massaging it, as his thumb rubs over your nipple. "Mm, you feel so good...so good." You pump him quicker. "I love your nipples. S-so pretty." He rolls one of your nipples between his fingers.
"Are you close, sweetie?" You ask. The pet name makes Ethan thrust harder into your palm.
"Oh, god, oh god." He breathes, his hand moving up your neck to your lips, rubbing along the bottom one. He then sinks his finger past your lips. The feel of your wet mouth makes Ethan whimper pathetically.
"That wasn't an answer." You slightly tease out, as you speak slightly muffled from his finger, which had begun to explore your mouth, running over your tongue.
"Yeah. I'm close. I'm so close— fuck. You’re so pretty." He half prasies half pleads, as his hip thrusts get sloppier.
When he orgasms, his body wracking with pleasure, he spills over his stomach and your hand, as moans and whines leave his lips. He's panting, head leant back against the couch.
With one final stroke you let him go. Ethan slightly whines at the loss of contact even if any more touching would be considered overstimulation. He met your gaze, before glancing down at your tightly pressed thighs. His hand drops from your mouth, bringing your spit down to rub across your thigh.
You quickly grab his hand, keeping it from wandering. Ethan meets your gaze to see that your bringing your other hand up to suck his orgasm off.
Ethan's mouth is open, chest still heaving. He tries to move past your grip, desperately wanting to touch you.
"Ethan."
"I want to touch you." His tone is harsher than initially intended.
You shake your head, the tiniest of smiles edging your lips. "I was only going to help you."
Ethan goes to speak, but you quickly cut in. "And specifically your cock." You whisper, before getting off the couch, the ding of the doorbell breaking the heavy breaths.
You round the couch, placing your shirt back over your head. Ethan watches you, as you pause, slightly leaning over the back of the couch, by Ethan's head, as he gazes up at you.
“That’ll be the pizza.” You say, before leaning closer. “And I finished the movie.” You gesture to the frozen screen of the finished film before heading towards the door, leaving Ethan panting and even more lustful than before.
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© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.
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zahri-melitor · 2 months
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One of the many tragedies of Jack Drake is that not only was he bad at being a parent, but that he had the perfect person to discuss how hard the experience was for him right there and yet the only conversation they ever have about parenting Tim is conducted at gunpoint.
Because look at Jack Drake. As far as he was concerned, he had everything under control until Janet died and his world fell apart.
Tim was a Good Kid™ as a kid. He was well behaved and polite and not a difficult child and that's obvious from the fact that many of his memories of his parents together are of being taken out in public. Jack and Janet had one kid and they clearly wanted that kid to enjoy the same things they did, so they took him with them to restaurants and museums and art galleries and the opera. And he enjoyed it and enjoyed that time with them.
Jack however clearly saw his role as a father and a husband in the very traditional position as the main provider. It was his job to work and bring in the income that supported their lifestyle (his depressive episode after losing the company and their having to move makes it very clear how much of his self-worth was tied up in that role). He had a son, but his time with Tim was pretty clearly about taking Tim out with him on a Saturday afternoon to watch sport, or play tennis with his friends, or go to the monster trucks, or go fishing: being able to spend a few hours with Tim and show him off to his friends and then return home and someone else took over looking after Tim. And in his mind, he clearly thought he was a good parent! He spent time with his son! His son was a credit who was worth showing off! He could take Tim with him when he and Janet went out for the evening, and Tim could be relied upon to behave. He was winning at being a father!
The part Jack never realised, of course, was that like many men in his position, he'd handed the day to day logistics of raising a kid over to his wife (Janet) and to people he paid to do it for him (Tim's boarding school). He wasn't the disciplinarian parent. He was the 'fun' parent, who got to have the good times with his child.
If Jack was ever actually involved in decisions about discipline and consequences of actions, it was probably at the ultimate stage: the 'wait til your father gets home' sort of threat. The nuclear option. He didn't handle the everyday stuff - he probably never SAW the everyday stuff.
So, Jack thinks he's a great parent. He can brag to his friends about how well behaved HIS child is, unlike those little ruffians you see screaming in public or whose parents can't take them anywhere because they're disruptive.
Then his world falls apart. He's injured and disabled and grieving. He's a single dad. And the kid he's got is suddenly not the child he remembers. Tim frequently acts out, lies, runs away and comes home with bruises and notes from school saying they’re worried something is going on. He also starts dating and possibly trying to have sex ‘too young’ (being caught with Ariana sleeping over and the couch situation, Steph being pregnant even if Tim insisted it wasn't his).
Jack Drake has to suddenly step up to be the main parent of a 14 year old who he's probably never had that dynamic with. He doesn't have the years of experience in how Tim reacts to various forms of boundaries and punishments, because he's never been the one who set them or enforced them. He's probably never sat down and talked to Tim about his feelings in his life. And Tim, I repeat, is fourteen years old, possibly one of the most difficult ages for a kid. Everyone's 14 year olds are suddenly more difficult than usual and pushing boundaries.
On top of that, he's got to learn this all on the fly, in circumstances where he basically has no support. "Help, I'm a new single father to a teenager' isn't really a genre of self help book or parenting group that gets a lot of love - most people who are single parents aren't men, and most people looking for advice on dealing with problems with raising their kids are talking about under-5s, because by the time kids are out of the toddler stage most parents have a reasonable idea of what works and what doesn't, have networks set up, and are usually reaching out for a bit of advice or support about a specific situation, not Dealing With It All.
What Jack really needs is a buddy or two who are also single fathers to teenage boys, who have experience navigating this, maybe who also acquired responsibility for their son in his teen years. Wow. I mean that's a big ask, but funnily enough, there's someone who lives right next door who exactly fits that description...
(The tragedy that Bruce and Jack only ever have the one discussion about parenting Tim, the kid they've been effectively co-parenting since Tim was 13 years old, and that that discussion took place with Jack holding a gun on Bruce).
So of course Jack is terrible at being a parent to Tim. He's inexperienced, he doesn't have any support, he doesn't SEEK support outside of marrying Dana (and Dana clearly while lovely is both ineffective and reluctant to interfere in Jack and Tim's relationship). Now, he fails on very specific axes, in ways that are both understandable and also signs that Jack has a bad handle on his temper.
His go-to threat is sending Tim back to boarding school, because: when Tim was at boarding school, Jack didn't have any discipline issues with Tim! It clearly worked!; Tim doesn't want to go back to boarding school, making it a threat to hold over him; again, Jack's seeing a kid who is sneaking around, lying, running away and he's at his wits end - there's a narrative in the circles he lives in that such kids DO need to be taught to behave and sending them to boarding school is a way to do that.
He runs hot and cold on paying attention to Tim because up until Tim was 14 that was...what he did! And it wasn't such an issue then, as he wasn't a single parent. And when he pays attention, he does tend to be focused (laser focused, in fact), in getting Tim out of No Man's Land, of the dramas at school during Cry of the Huntress when Jack's getting outraged over Tim's bruises and getting into fights, when he's arguing with Ariana's uncle over whether Tim and Ariana's relationship was going too far.
It's just that he never developed the day to day, in between level of parenting and boundary setting and discipline. He's got a temper, and he swings between "it'll be fine, Tim's a smart kid, I trust him" laid back permissiveness, and getting mad and going immediately to the nuclear option: "You are going back to boarding school!" and so on.
He doesn't know how to walk away and calm himself down when he's worked up. He's not particularly good at redirecting his aggression. And he gets easily frustrated, because in his mind everything went smoothly for years...until it was all his responsibility.
And the thing is, there are so many ways Jack could have tried harder to be a good parent, that were available to him. But because of his background and the culture he lived in and the demands of storytelling he never reached out for any of them.
(And Bruce was right there! They knew each other socially! Everyone knew Bruce had worked through having two teenage sons on his own! He could have asked for advice, and he even knew Bruce knew Tim, given Bruce had officially fostered Tim while Jack was in a coma and in hospital. If you were putting together a specific support group you'd kick yourself over how perfect this was)
It's just such a part of the tragedy of Jack Drake.
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barbatusart · 2 months
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bit of thinking outloud but for my current tactician run im doing a special wyll origins playthrough im calling the Evil Wyll Run & it’s given me a lot of food for thought about his character (or at least the freedom of psychological movement + exploration afforded to an origin run!)
wyll spoilers abound we’re entering the wyllenium here
wyll always felt a bit underwritten to me - i know that’s partially because there was that big kerfuffle in the 11th hour with changing his whole story and personality on top of having to recast his VA, and frankly hats off to both original VA lanre malaolu & new VA theo solomon for their hard work - both brought tremendous performances, & i sincerely hope mr malaolu was paid well for his work & time even if his voice wasn’t used in the final cut (i would also say warlock as a class itself felt a bit underdeveloped but im 100% OK with chalking that up to me the player not understanding how to play warlock effectively yet lol im more of a fighter barbarian Hit Stuff guy)
but honestly this feeling of being “underwritten” combined with a character with a long history of heroism in his pocket made wyll really interesting to me even in my tav playthrough. for all his accomplishments he still feels like a blank everyman, or like he’s someone who fully believes he’s the main character who doesn’t “need” to do any extra work on himself - and honestly he feels Very much like he could be The Main Character. once his backstory of the son of the duke was revealed too i immediately got the sense of like, rich boy trying to prove his worth beyond his wealth and status by striking out & becoming that hero, or that Prince Charming. basically that perfect happily ever after somebody. and im of the opinion that you don’t get mixed up with a cambion in the first place unless you’re either the kind of naïve “everything will just work out” immature that tends to comes with his status as the son of a noble, or you’re hungering for power. depending on playstyle he’s very easily both of these things
on the naïve front (ie a good wyll playthrough) if anything he feels very believably immature, & from that perspective the events of the game feel as though they’re the prequel to the actual start of wyll's story where he finally finds himself & learns what kind of man he really is. we just dont get to see it alas, but i really enjoyed the thought exercise of somebody still grappling with overcoming his own immaturity. he feels like someone who can still grow and that his tale is just beginning
Evil Wyll (meaning any time mizora shows up he drops everything to enact her instruction & hasnt once tried to find a loophole out of his contract) which ive come to be far more fascinated by is someone clearly vying for power, which is interesting because his noble status would’ve given him all the power he wants had he Played Nice. to me it speaks of someone who wants to be able to take what he wants from life without it being handed to him, which contrasts in a really fascinating way with entering into a warlock pact at all. maybe he thought it was better that it be a decision he made as opposed to nobility given to him by his family ties, maybe there’s still that pollyanna sentiment of “it’ll just work out & ill live happily ever after.” again maybe both. maybe in a sense the fiend, as he calls himself, is a good excuse to shuck off any poor decision he makes or any genuinely heinous thing he does under mizora’s instruction - an identity he uses as power fantasy (and very much in tandem/interchangeable with the blade of frontiers power fantasy) until it means taking ownership for any of his misdeeds, and then a scapegoat.
may be a bit incoherent but im only now hitting act 3 in my origin run & im Really enjoying this difficult characterization ive cooked up for myself lol
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lacrimosathedark · 4 months
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THAT'S IT! This is a Janet Drake Defense Post
As may be obvious, I spend a lot of time reading fanfic. And there's this trend that drives me nuts, and it's villainizing Janet Drake.
I'm not gonna say she's an A+ mother. She's not. She chose her career and adventures over spending time with her child much of the time. But fandom portrays her as some rich pompous ice queen, which is never shown.
Janet Drake mostly appears in the story Tim's introduced, and in the story she dies.
So, let's start from the top: Haly's Circus.
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This event is the only time we see her really interacting with Tim before her death, but it shows that at least when he was young, she was an active part of his life. She was worried about bringing Tim because it might scare him. And then rightfully scolds her husband for being sexist because Jack Drake actually IS a jerk.
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...I don't like the art in this comic. Or that the writer doesn't know how kids speak.
But Janet is being supportive of Tim's clear interest in Dick's performance.
And then tragedy strikes and she acts like, y'know, a mother.
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Her priority is getting her son and herself out of there.
Also worth noting that the Drakes sent a copy of that final photo of the Graysons TO Dick, which is how he has it at all. If both of them were stuck up pricks, would they even bother sending a photo to a grieving child performer they hardly know? I can't imagine Jack really bothering, but I don't see why Janet wouldn't.
And then, by the time she's dying, we know that Tim's parents have been away for a very long time, he never knows where they are, but they've communicated enough that he knows that they've been fighting.
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They're passive aggressive to say the least. This marriage is clearly not working anymore.
EDIT CUZ I REMEMBERED A THING:
It's worth noting that this is a time before smartphones. This comic was released in 1990, which was when pre-paid mobile phones had just started existing. Coverage isn't universal NOW, so back then it was even less, and Jack and Janet are archeologists (or archeologist adjacent?) so they're going to be in less developed and populated areas most of the time. It's unlikely they'd have consistent access to a functional phone that could call the states to talk to Tim regularly.
This isn't to defend their absence, because fuck that, but it's to give it some context. I don't think they were trying to ignore or abandon Tim. Communication was just not readily available and Janet seems to get wrapped up in work...and Jack's an asshole.
Also for note, Janet is probably the one sending Tim postcards in the first place. It being signed "Mom and Dad" is what makes me think that. Jack would have put himself first if he wrote it, it woulda said "Dad and Mom". That's admittedly pure speculation, BUT IT FITS SOOOOOO
My thought is if this were made modern, Janet would be sending extremely scattered texts and Tim would get next to nothing from Jack unless Janet prompted him.
END EDIT
(Fair warning, this story is a few levels of Yikes, but I'm gonna stay on topic)
Bad guy Obeah Man does...something? to the pilot, and they crash, and he has a group of people kidnap the Drakes and their assistant Jeremy.
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Danger really puts some things in perspective, for Janet, at least. And that continues for her. Jack is a bit delusional and in denial, thinking he has any control of the situation.
They are tied up and filmed for ransom, their assistant killed right in front of them.
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Jack just keeps raging, but Janet is having regrets. Notice how she doesn't cry until Tim is brought up. Could be nothing, could be something.
And then she dies.
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Her only other major appearance is when Tim is having a fever dream from the Clench and everything is kind of okay for a minute.
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Tim very clearly loves his mom. And we may not get a lot of characterization for her, but she's not cold or callous like people write her constantly.
And now, we finally have a little more about her as of Batman 134.
I haven't really been keeping up since the Gotham War stuff because What The Fuck Was That My Guy, but I recently saw this specific comic.
The multiverse is fucked up again, some way some how, and Bruce is lost (again) and Tim has to get him back (again). This time, Tim is going in after him. But he doesn't end up going straight to Bruce.
He goes to see an alt of his mom.
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Tim missed her so much that he ended up going to her before Bruce.
And her immediate reaction is to run up and hug him. Does that look like a mother who doesn't love her son?
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"Do you have anyone to take care of you?"
"I don't know how this happened, this miracle...but I just know, in my heart of hearts, it was to show me...that every version of my son is a good one."
Tell me again that this woman is heartless and didn't want her son, I fucking dare you.
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And we get more meaning to the name "Robin" and a little crumb about Tim's grandmother. As a treat.
This is all to say, please stop writing Janet Drake as a cold, heartless bitch.
Small final note though: Jack Drake is, in fact, a shitty person and a shitty father. He does still love Tim and Tim loves him AND THAT IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE, but the relationship is a mess. If either parent is actively abusive, it's 1000% Jack "smashed a TV because my son wasn't listening to me and threatened Bruce Wayne at gunpoint" Drake. Probably part of why the marriage was falling apart.
Anyway, yeah, let's retire the "Jack and Janet Drake are Bad Parents" tag and replace it with "Jack Drake is a Bad Parent" and "Janet Drake's C+ Parenting" or something.
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auras-moonstone · 3 months
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⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ don’t blame me for what you made me do
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ᡣ𐭩 word count: 1.6K
ᡣ𐭩 pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!carpenter!reader
ᡣ𐭩 summary: y/n is finally able to get revenge on her sisters when the bailey family reaches out to her to ask her to join the plan.
ᡣ𐭩 contents/warnings: implied character death. murder. family issues. bonding over shared issues. fluff.
ᡣ𐭩 author’s note: on sunday it was scream 6’s anniversary and it made me miss that era sm😫 the fandom is so dead, especially the ethan/jack one.
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y/n had always felt like an outsider in her own family. her mom’s favorites had always been sam and tara. and y/n went under her radar, the curse of the middle child, they say. and then there were her sisters, who she was also not very close with. despite having only one year difference with tara, the youngest sibling had a better relationship with sam, so y/n was also left alone in the sibling department. she only had her dad, who used to be her entire world until he packed his bags and left her behind. and it was all because of sam carpenter.
revenge is a dish best served cold, they say. and after years of waiting, the opportunity came to y/n. it actually knocked on the door of her new apartment in new york city.
“um, hello? can i help you?” the girl asked confused, seeing three strangers standing before her. one was a man around his forties, then there was a tall boy with curly hair and a red-haired girl with green eyes.
“hi, y/n carpenter, right?” the man said.
“yeah… do i know you?” y/n asked, a tad creeped out.
“no, but you knew my son, richie.”
richie, the man who used to date sam and then try to kill her. the man who tied y/n up and hid her in a closet, telling her she was going to be okay. murdering her was never in richie’s plan, and it still confused the hell out of her.
y/n’s eyes widened. “yes. i’m really sorry about what happened.”
“thank you.” the man gave her a small smile. “my name is wayne bailey, these are my children, quinn and ethan.” his two kids waved at her and she smiled in response. “do you think we could talk for a few minutes? i have something to say that might interest you.”
she reluctantly let them in, and wayne started telling her about what richie told them. how he noticed the tension between her and her sisters, how he could see the resentment in her eyes everytime she looked at sam, how sometimes they became murderous too.
“i don’t know what to tell you… what’s this all about? why are you here?”
“you see, y/n, your sister murdered my son. the light of my life, and i want her to pay. and by what richie told me, i think that’s what you want too.”
that captured her interest. “sam is the reason my dad—the only person i was close with in that damn family—left. so, whatever you have planned, count me in.”
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“are you okay?” y/n asked ethan, who looked very deep in thought as they entered the dorms building. they had just came from a meeting at wayne’s house, and ethan had been dead silent the whole way back home.
“i just… aren’t you scared? that things won’t work out and we might end like every other ghostface?” ethan was very expressive when he talked, he talked with his whole body, especially his hands. the maniac hand movement showed y/n that he was very anxious about the whole thing.
during the time she had spent with the baileys, she had reached a conclusion—wayne and quinn were all for revenge, it was clear they were furious with sam. and ethan, although he truly loved his brother and hated sam for what she did, was in on the plan for the mere purpose of pleasing his dad.
richie had been the favorite, and ethan wanted so bad for his father to see him like he once saw his brother that he was willing to sacrifice his life for it. y/n understood that feeling of wanting to belong more than anyone else, which was why she had connected with ethan in a way she never thought would be possible.
they became each other’s comfort, each other’s safe place when things got overwhelming. it really sucked to fake being wary of him, to act like she was trying to keep her distance because—like the rest of the group—she didn’t trust the new members, when it reality she just wanted to wrap her arms around his frame.
“i won’t let anything happen to you. even if i have to take a knife to the heart to make sure you get out of this alive, i’ll do it. i can promise you that.”
ethan shook his head. “but that’s exactly what i’m worried about. something happening to you. the thought of getting out of this without you… fuck, that can’t happen, y/n.”
y/n had seen ethan being vulnerable, he let himself be like that around her, but this was the first time she had seen him cry. it was a sight she never wanted to see again.
she carefully brush his tears away. “okay, then we’ll have each other’s back, okay? please don’t cry, you’re killing me.”
“i’m sorry, i’m just really scared.” he hid his face on the crook of her neck and took deep breaths to stop the tears.
“don’t be sorry. never apologise for feeling, especially to me. it just makes me sad to see your pretty eyes with tears, but i get what you say.”
“i don’t want to go back to the group.” he pouted.
y/n chuckled then checked her smartwatch. “it’s late. chad might wonder where you are.”
ethan groaned. “i don’t care. i’ll tell him i was at study group. can i stay here for a bit?”
“you’re a little obsessed with my presence, landry.” she joked.
“and what if i am?” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.
y/n took him in. his strong arm was settled on the back of the couch, right next to her head. his temple was resting on his closed hand and he was staring intently at her with those killer deep brown eyes. he was so beautiful and she was so weak when it came to him. and fuck if his full lips didn’t look so inviting.
her index finger lifted and it was soon tracing the shape of his lips. they felt as soft as his cute curls. “then we’d be on the same page. because i’m a little obsessed with you.”
ethan’s arm left the back of the couch to end up around the back of y/n’s neck, pulling her close. her shaky hand found its way to his hard chest, right where she could feel the thunderous beats of his heart, which only became more erratic when their lips finally met.
“mmmh, wanted it so bad.” he said between kisses. “we’re not going back to being just friends right? because i can’t handle that.”
“are you out of your mind? no way. you’re mine and i get to kiss you whenever i want. well, whenever i can.”
“yours. fuck, that sounds so good.” he hummed contently. “it’s going to be so hard to hold back from you.”
“but then, when we finally get to release the tension, it’s going to be so good, don’t you think?” she smirked.
“you drive me insane.”
“right back at you, pretty boy. i don’t think you realize how powerful those puppy eyes of yours are.”
ethan’s blood rushed to his cheeks and y/n giggled like a schoolgirl. her chest felt like busting. she was finally happy. truly. the 6 foot two brunet boy lying beneath her was her one source of happiness, and she was not going to let anything take him away from her.
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y/n stood in her ghostface costume in front of her sisters. she was practically bouncing on her feet, excited to reveal herself and see the look on the girls’ faces. ethan, who had already shown his face, had the biggest smile. y/n was so adorable he had to close his hands in a fist to fight the temptation of bringing her into his arms.
“ready for the last surprise?.” wayne asked.
“come on, babe.” ethan squeezed her waist and y/n took the mask off. her sisters stepped back in shock, faces tinted with hurt.
“how could you?” tara spat as tears fell from her eyes.
y/n rolled her eyes. “oh, cry me a river.”
“why would you do this? is this all because of him?” sam pointed her head at ethan. “what? you fell in love and he brainwashed you into becoming a killer?”
“do you think i’m stupid? of course not.” she scoffed. “i mean, i did fall in love with him, but that’s besides the point. they came to my door a few days after we moved.” and she told them how she came to work with the baileys. “i waited years, and now… i can finally make you two pay for how shitty you’d always made me feel.”
“what are you talking about? we’re your sisters, y/n.”
y/n glared at tara. “you have some fucking nerve. you’ve always made me feel neglected, until sam left town. we started to bond, but as soon as she was back… you forgot about me. how can you even say you’re my sister?” she yelled in anger. ethan took her hand in comfort. “and you?” she looked at sam. “you’re the reason my dad left, and i swear to god i’m going to show you exactly how badly that hurt.”
“you crazy bitch. you’re insane.” tara screamed at her.
ethan slashed her stomach in fury. “watch your fucking mouth when you talk to my girlfriend!”
“let’s just get over with this. y/n deserves a break.” quinn said.
the carpenters sure put up a fight, y/n was the one who got most of the wounds, but they had managed to succeed. wayne and quinn left to take care of gale and mindy while ethan stay behind taking care of his girlfriend.
“are you feeling alright?”
“don’t worry, eth. they’re bad, but not that bad. i’ll for sure live.” she reassured him. “we made it. i told you we would.”
“you did.” he laughed, and then hugged her tightly. “you scared me so much, though. i really thought i’d lost you when i saw you lying on the ground.”
“i could never leave you.” she brushed her nose against his and whispered against his lips, “i love you. thanks for walking into my life.”
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Text
The Bond
Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69
Relationship: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader
Summary: The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced.
Word Count: 14k
Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Major character death. Angst. Pregnancy. ATWOW spoilers.
Comments: Hockey people look away, look away… After watching ATWOW I physically could not stop thinking about ‘what if you could feel the bond’ the way Parabatai feel each other in the Mortal Instruments and one thing led to another… This really was supposed to just be a short little imagine just to get the idea out of my head so I could work on my other projects but then I went hmmm no I think this needs some context for it to make sense and then I proceeded to write their entire fucking story cradle to grave and spent WAY too much time fact checking every single detail… There were a bunch of ways I could have expanded this, but I told myself no because no one needs a 50k+ Neteyam story... Also, this was not betad because I was not about to subject my poor beta to my current Avatar obsession.
Disclaimer: I thought Neteyam was 20 the whole movie so that’s how old he is in this, which is about the same age Jake and Neytiri were in the first film. And also, Neteyam wears a battle belt, which means he is seen as a man among the Omatikaya.
do not repost, do not claim as your own
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Tsaheylu.
The bond.
The beginning and the end of everything.
You feel their breath, you feel their heart, you feel their strength. It’s your way to connect with the world around you. At least, that’s what they always told you.
It’s a beautiful thing the bond. You can ride and fly and see and hear without uttering a single word. And most beautiful of all, you get to feel your mate, if you were lucky enough to find one.
With a mate, it wasn’t just their breaths and heart you felt like a horse or an ikran. It was deeper, much deeper. You felt them. Their thoughts, their memories, the every ounce of their being. The bond ties you to them—to their soul—for life, connects you to them in a way you’d never be connected to anyone or anything for as long as you lived.
It’s a beautiful thing the bond.
--
You could remember the first time Neteyam brought up the possibility of mating.
The golden son, the next Olo’eykton, the first-born son of Toruk Makto and Neytiri, Neteyam always had big shoes to fill, and it was always something he struggled with in silence. Who was he to talk to about the shade of greatness he grew up in? His father? His mother? His little brother? None of them understood, and none of them saw him.
But you did.
For as long as you could remember, Neteyam had been your closest friend, and you his—outside of his siblings at least. Kiri wasn’t much younger than him, but she had always been closer with Lo’ak than him, and Neteyam had always had more of a protective, fatherly role than a brotherly one with them and Tuk especially.
But you? You held no expectations for him. With you he was just Neteyam—or ’Teyam when he made you laugh hard enough you could barely breathe. You did everything with him. Training, hunting, claiming a banshee. Every step, you were there, and there was no one you felt closer to than him.
You didn’t have a big family like he did, it was only you. But you had him. He was your best friend, your everything, your—
Neteyam was going to be the next Olo’eykton and whoever he took as his mate would be the next Tsahìk, so you knew it wasn’t a decision he took lightly. If his father wasn’t Jake Sully, you were sure he’d have been betrothed to a woman his parents deemed worthy of being the next Olo’eykton’s mate. You didn’t know if Eywa had her eyes on you at the decision not to betroth him because, on one hand, there was a chance he’d take you, but on the other, you knew him choosing another of his own will would break you irreversibly.
Neteyam had shown some interest in the other girls in the village, especially the ones his mother mentioned to him, but you never saw him have more than a few conversations with them, mostly about hunting, which they didn’t seem to appreciate as much as you did.
You didn’t know that they were never the one he wanted. That for him, there had only ever been one.
It was the eve of his iknimaya ceremony, the final step of him becoming taronyu, of becoming a man, that he first brought up the possibility of mating with you. Once he became a man, he could choose a woman.
The thought alone made your chest tight. You couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in your tent before you finally resigned yourself and slipped out. A night walk in the forest would, at the very least, keep your mind occupied.
You should have known Neteyam had the same idea.
Becoming a hunter, becoming a man, becoming one of the People, and earning his place in the clan all weighed heavily on him. He lived in the shadow of his father who had gone from Sky People to one of the People to Toruk Makto to Olo’eykton in a span of a few months. He was only the sixth Toruk Makto since the first songs and Neteyam knew that even if he were to be a great Olo’eykton, he’d never be his father, and it ate at him.
No matter how hard he tried, Neteyam couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind fought his every attempt at sleep. He knew he needed sleep for the day ahead, but he wasn’t granted peace and finally he resigned himself to a walk to clear his mind. At the very least, the night would pass more quickly and bring him into tomorrow.
Neither of you realized the other was close, not at first. Your mind was so consumed by the thought of him that you weren’t looking where you were going and didn’t put the care into your steps like you knew you should. The snap of the twig under your step was secondary to you, but it made Neteyam’s ears twitch.
He wasn’t alone.
A moment later, another twig snapped under your foot and Neteyam let it consume his attention. All he had on him was his knife, but it would have to do, he was the best hunter of his age after all.
He followed your uncaring, twig breaking steps silently with his knife down, unsure of what he was following. But as soon as he caught a flash of blue skin in the dark, he let himself relax a little. When he stepped a little closer to get a clearer view, he sheathed his knife as he let out a soft laugh. He’d know you anywhere.
The sound of his laugh made your ears twitch and you tensed. You’d know that sound anywhere. “Neteyam?” You breathed as you turned around and a moment later, he revealed himself with his hands up and a playful smile on his lips as he said your name back to you.
“It is late,” he told you as he stepped closer, his tail flicking behind him. “You should be asleep.”
“As should you,” you replied and returned his smile. “You have a big day tomorrow.”
“Ah,” he brushed you off with a short wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he told you. “I do not have to hunt tomorrow, just become taronyu.”
Your smile slipped for half a moment before you pushed it back up. “I know,” you replied, hoping your tone didn’t betray you.
His ears straightened as he watched you and he hoped, oh Eywa he hoped, that he wasn’t misinterpreting your hesitation as he stepped closer to you. “Once I become taronyu, I may take a woman.”
You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your eyes so you turned away from him. “I know,” you whispered. “It’s a big day for the clan. There are many fine women to choose from.”
His heart dropped, fearing rejection from the only woman he had ever wanted. “I know,” he said and let his tail brush yours as he stepped around you, forcing you to look at him.
You shivered at the touch but brushed it off as an accidental touch. “Your father is very fond of Miayho, and your mother favours Zia,” you told him softly, unable to meet his eyes.
“You’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve already chosen.” His words made your heart drop and you tried to turn away from him again, but he cupped your cheek to stop you. “But this woman must also choose me.”
“She must be lucky,” you whispered, your heart aching.
“She is,” Neteyam smiled. “She is strong and beautiful and a little slow at times, but she is the only one I could ever want.”
“’Teyam,” you breathed, your voice breaking, but his smile never faltered.
“I’m speaking of you,” he told you and softly shook his head. “Tomorrow I am granted the chance to choose a woman, and you are the only woman I have ever wanted. I choose you, if you choose me, too.”
You were quiet as the weight of his words sunk in, but slowly you cupped his cheek, too. “I chose you the moment I saw you,” you replied and rubbed your thumb over the deep blue line that traced the arch of his cheek.
Neteyam’s smile filled your chest with warmth and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Neteyam’s smile softened as he rubbed his nose against yours. He’d mate you right here right now if you let him, but it was not the way, and a day was a short wait compared to the years he had already been waiting.
“So, it is decided, then?” He asked as he pulled back to look at you.
“It is,” you blushed and dipped your head as your ears went back, already itching to reach for your braid. At your words, Neteyam’s shoulders lightened, somewhat anyway. The weight of being the next Olo’eykton and living up to his father still plagued him, but he knew as long as he had you by his side, he’d be alright.
“We should sleep, then,” he told you and bit his lip. “I intent to mate you before Eywa tomorrow.”
Your blush darkened as you smiled. You didn’t dare ask if his mother or father approved of the match, you didn’t care, you just wanted him, needed him. “We should,” you agreed and tilted your chin up. “It is a big day tomorrow.”
Neteyam’s smile widened and he dipped his head. “A very big day,” he agreed and took your hand before he led you back to the village. The sooner you both fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and the sooner you could become one.
“You could stay with me,” you told him as you approached your tent.
There was nothing Neteyam wanted more, but he also knew his father would expect him in his own bed bright and early and he didn’t want to start the big day on the wrong foot. “Tomorrow night,” he replied and dipped his head. “Tonight will be our last night apart.”
You hated when he pulled his hand from yours, but you knew he was right, that it was the way. You had waited years for this, you could wait another night. “Tomorrow,” you nodded.
“Tomorrow,” he echoed you before he stepped back. Still, he watched as you slipped into your tent safe and secure before he made his way back to his own and prayed to Eywa his father hadn’t noticed his absence. Thankfully, he hadn’t, and Neteyam settled into his bed with a smile and warm chest.
Tomorrow he became taronyu.
Tomorrow he became a man.
Tomorrow he gained you. 
His eyelids were heavy and sleep came more easily to him. One moment he was thinking of your beautiful golden eyes, the next he was passed out, dreaming of your smile and the comforting flowery scent that always clung to your hair.
--
The sun woke him bright and early like it always did and he smiled as he stretched out.
Today was the day.
“Are you nervous?” Lo’ak asked him over breakfast and Neteyam rolled his eyes.
“Why would I be nervous?”
Lo’ak’s shit eating grin widened as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “that no woman will want to mate with your ugly face.”
Any other day Neteyam would have told his brother off and shoved him back, but your words were still fresh in his mind—I chose you the moment I saw you—and his ears went back as he dipped his head.
Lo’ak’s smile faltered as he moved closer, his ears perking up before he knocked his shoulder against his brother’s. “Bro,” he said under his breath so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Got something you’d like to share?”
Neteyam knocked his shoulder right back against his brother’s. He was quiet for a moment as he debated whether he should say anything, but Neteyam knew his brother well, better than anyone, and he knew Lo’ak wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled. “I may have already chosen a woman,” he said with a small smile. “And she has chosen me as well. We will be mated before Eywa.”
“Bro,” Lo’ak breathed and put his hand on the back of Neteyam’s neck as he gave him a little shake. “You asked her?” Neteyam didn’t have to say a name for him to know he meant you.
Neteyam dropped his head again as he nodded, “it is decided.”
“I am surprised she settled for your skxawng ass, but I am happy for you, bro,” Lo’ak grinned, and he laughed as Neteyam bared his fangs at him and shook him off.
“Watch who you call skxawng, skxawng,” he replied, making Lo’ak laugh hard enough that their father looked over at them and their ears went back as they quickly went quiet.
Jake watched his sons for a long moment before he stepped over and sat down next to Neteyam and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”
Neteyam smiled as he nodded, “born ready, sir.”
“Good,” Jake smiled and patted his son on the back. “Your mom has the paint, whenever you’re ready.”
Neteyam’s tail flicked behind him. “Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something else who I’d like to do the paint.”
For a moment Jake’s eyebrows raised as he looked at his son before the corner of his lip twitched up as he remembered when Neytiri painted him for his own iknimaya. “Of course,” Jake nodded. “But you have to tell your mother.”
His mother wasn’t exactly happy to give up the chance to paint her first born son ahead of the ceremony, but Neteyam rarely asked for anything and she could see in his eyes that it meant a great deal to him, so she resigned herself and handed the bowls of paint over to him. “I hope you chose well, my son,” Neytiri told him.
“I did,” Neteyam replied with a smile. “Thank you, mother.”
The bowls were full and despite their small size, they felt heavy in his hands as he headed out to find you. Neteyam knew both you and the village like the back of his hand so it was easy for him to find you. you blushed as he met your gaze and he smiled before he lowered his head to you and he sat down across from you.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” You asked him softly, buzzing with anticipation of what was to come.
“I should, yes,” he agreed and sat the bowls of paint down in front of you.
“Neteyam,” you breathed. It was traditionally done by mothers.
“I want you to,” he smiled. “That is, if you want to, too.”
You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “I want to,” you smiled softly and moved the bowls closer to you, the weight of their significance not lost on you as you beckoned him closer. “Now?” You asked softly.
Neteyam nodded as he moved closer. You blushed when he ginned at you shoved his shoulder before dipping your fingers into the white paint. You started with his arm, your touch light as you traced familiar patterns over his skin. Neteyam shivered, both at the coolness of the paint and your touch and it made you blush deepen as you focused on your lines, not wanting to mess any of them up, especially when you felt the weight of his gaze on you.
After his arms, you moved on to his chest and you gave Neteyam a look when the corner of his lip twitched up. “I am well aware you are a mighty warrior, Neteyam,” you told him and pulled your fingers back so you wouldn’t ruin the lines.
“But now you feel that I am a mighty warrior,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes.
You were quiet for a moment as you tried to think of a reply. Slowly, you trailed your fingers down his abdomen and let your lip twitch up when you felt him tense at your touch. “I do,” you hummed and looked up at him. “And soon I will feel all of you.”
You bit your lip as Neteyam’s eyes darkened but you devoted your attention to finishing the lines on his abdomen before you picked up one of the bowls and moved to his back, giggling as Neteyam’s tail kept flicking as you traced the patterns on his skin and once you were done, you hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck and giggled when his ears stood straight up.
“You are a tease, woman,” he breathed as you settled back in front of him to paint his face.
“Am not,” you replied with a smile as you dipped your fingers into the paint again. “Now stay still.” To his benefit, Neteyam was still as he watched you, his tail flicking every now and then as you traced careful lines over his face, finishing with a feather light touch over his lips.
Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked him over. “You are ready,” you told him as you sat back on your haunches.
“I am?” He asked and you nodded.
“You are.”
Neteyam knew kissing you would ruin the paint you worked so hard to get perfect, but he still thought about it and it took every ounce of his self control not to kiss you. “Thank you,” he smiled before he stood and your heart fluttered in your chest as you took him in.
Your best friend. Your lover. Your mate.
A man.
You took his hand when he extended it to you and let him lead you down to where the ceremony would take place. To no surprise, his parents, siblings, and grandmother were already there and when you met his mother’s gaze, you get go of his hand. You weren’t mates yet and this was his ceremony. A ceremony for the clan.
At the loss of your hand, Neteyam looked back at you but you gave him a reassuring smile as you encouraged him on with a nod so he returned his gaze to his parents. Slowly the rest of the clan emerged and began to form the circle around him, and you.
“Neteyam,” Jake started as he looked at his son, trying and failing to restrain his smile. “My son. You tamed an ikran and completed your dream hunt. You are one of the People now,” he said before putting his hands on Neteyam’s shoulders just like Eytukan had done to him many years before. Once Jake touched Neteyam, the rest of his family and then the clan followed suit, one by one until everyone was connected as they welcomed Neteyam into the clan as a man.
You smiled at him as the people began to separate and once he could, Neteyam turned and put his hand on your shoulder, making you blush. His parents weren’t oblivious as they watched you, and Jake gave Neytiri a knowing smile as he held his hand out to her. It felt like just yesterday that she had done the same to him and he was happy for his son. He chose well, just like he did.
--
Every time a member of the clan came of age, there was a celebration. It was filled with food and dance and stories and songs; and Neteyam spent the whole night looking at you.
He was seated between his father, the Olo’eykton, and Lo’ak, and you were across from him, much too far for his liking. He could hear the people telling stories, but he wasn’t listening as he focused on you. You were the only thing that mattered to him.
You had put flowers in your hair and you wore a top he didn’t recognize so it had to be new and Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were his everything.
It was only once the sun began to dip in the sky and people returned to their tents that Neteyam was able to steal some much needed alone time with you.
Neteyam washed the paint off and put his newly earned battle belt on by himself, but Jake stuck around with a gut instinct and gave his son a nod before he put his hand on his shoulder. Neteyam didn’t have to tell him for him to know he intended to take a mate, he remembered his own youth well and he could only hope his son found the same happiness he found in Neytiri.
Neteyam nodded back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure, son?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded.
“More sure than I have ever been.”
“Good,” Jake nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
It was Neteyam’s turn to laugh and he shrugged his father’s hand off, dipping his head to his father one final time before he slipped out to find you. He was a man now, and you were his to claim.
Neteyam held his hand out to you and you blushed as you took it and let him guide you toward the Tree of Souls. If you were to be mated, then you were going to do it properly and you would be mated before Eywa.
It was only you and Neteyam before the tree and your heart raced with anticipation. By the time you got before the tree, before Eywa, you were a couple steps ahead of Neteyam and your ears twitched with every step he took to close the distance between you. Your tail flicked as he shifted his weight and it took him way too long to touch you, his hand just barely brushing your back to make you look at him.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly, giving you an out. But you didn’t want an out.
“I want to,” you told him, holding his eyes before you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, your heart racing. This was the moment you had been waiting for your whole life, with the person you had been hoping for.
Neteyam followed your lead and knelt across from you before he pulled his braid over his shoulder. You held his gaze as you did the same, your braid heavy in your hand. You had made the bond with horses and your ikran, but taking a mate was something else entirely. Your heart raced with excitement and anxiety as you gripped the end of your braid and held it up, your tendrils searching for his.
You held Neteyam’s gaze as he gripped the end of his own braid and held it out. You let your eyes drop to your braid as he brought his closer. He paused to give you a chance to pull back, and when you didn’t, he moved his braid closer, letting his tendrils intertwine with yours.
It was unlike anything you had every experienced before.
The air left you lungs and you closed your eyes as you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. His touch felt like electricity as he trailed his hands up your arms. And then you were overcome with warmth and familiarity and comfort. Home, you realized. You felt at home. You pulled back to look at him, your jaw slack and pupils blown and you found Neteyam looking back at you with the same awestruck expression. Warmth and pleasure coursed through your veins and when he cupped your cheek, you leaned into his touch.
And then he kissed you. For as long as you could remember, you dreamt of the touch of your mate, but it was so much better than you could have imagined and you melted into the kiss as you rested your hands on his shoulders and moved closer.
Neteyam’s hands trailed down to your hips and you let him pull you onto his lap, both of you desperate for every touch you could steal. You pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath as you struggled to keep air in your lungs, your pull to Neteyam so strong. Your jaw was slack as you looked at him and you were sure your pupils were as blown as his were.
“Neteyam,” you breathed and rubbed your nose against his, craving his touch.
“I know, my name,” he breathed and rubbed his nose back against yours as he let you feel him through his loin cloth. It pulled a soft moan from your lips which he quickly quieted with another kiss.
“I need you,” he said against your lips and let his hand brush the top of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was, and he was rewarded with you rocking your hips into his.
“I need you, too,” you told him and pulled back so you could run your hand down his strong chest to his newly earned warrior’s belt. It wasn’t something you had ever put on let alone taken off, so Neteyam had to help you rid himself of it so you could once again trail your fingers down his abdomen and down to the top of his loin cloth.
Neteyam’s soft groan had heat pooling between your thighs and you were sure he could feel it. “’Teyam,” you whispered and covered his hand on your hip with your own. His golden eyes were dark as he looked at you and you slowly guided his hand up to your chest, needing him to touch you.
Neteyam had seen your chest more times than he’d care to admit, the necklace and beads provided little coverage, but seeing you and feeling you were two entirely different things. Your skin was warm and soft beneath his touch, but your nipples were hard and when he caught it between his fingers, he was rewarded with a soft moan from you, which he desperately wanted to hear again.
He licked his lips as he brought his hand up to your other breast. His hands dwarfed you, and you moaned and leaned into him as he pinched your nipples, learning exactly what you liked, what you needed.
“’Teyam,” you whined and rocked your hips into his once again. His touch wasn’t enough, you could feel him and you needed him. “My mate,” you whispered and trailed your hands down his back.
“I know,” he nodded. You didn’t have to tell him for him to know. He gave a final tweak to your nipples before trailing his hands down your sides to the band of your loin cloth. He kept his eyes on yours as he undid it and slowly peeled the material away from you. it only made your racing heart more intense as you rested on his lap, and your tail brushed his knees as he looked at you before he laid you back against the soft moss.
You were bare to him, but you didn’t care as he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Neteyam ran his eyes over you before he reached down to untie his own loin cloth, and then there was nothing between you.
“Please, ‘Teyam.”
He nodded and ran his hand up your thigh toward where you needed him most. As soon as his thumb reached the seam of where your thigh met your hip, Neteyam could feel how badly you needed him, your wetness coating your skin, pulling a soft groan from him.
When he finally touched you, his touch was light and you let your eyes close as you moaned softly. He was gentle as he trailed his fingers up your slit to the bud at the top and he was rewarded with a loud gasp when he rubbed your clit. He watched you with careful eyes as he circled the bud with his fingers and felt how you throbbed for him.
The tips of his fingers were rough from his years of hunting, and between the roughness and sureness of his touch, you wouldn’t last long. Your high was building fast and when you opened your eyes and found his familiar golden eyes looking back at you, it sent you over the edge.
“Neteyam,” you moaned as you came, your back arching as you pressed your hips into his hand. Neteyam groaned as you drenched his hand and he kept rubbing your clit through it, loving your blissed out expression. It was only when your moans turned to whines that he trailed his fingers down your slit to your entrance.
“May I?” He asked and you nodded quickly so he pressed his finger into you, moaning at how warm and tight you were. His mate, he thought. His perfect mate.
Once you adjusted to his finger, he added a second, not wanting to hurt you. He felt your every flutter around his fingers and it made his cock ache. “I need you,” he told you, his voice rough from holding himself back.
“Then have me,” you replied and spread your legs wider, desperate for your mate.
“Eywa have mercy,” he whispered and pulled his fingers from you before slotting himself between your thighs. He didn’t have to ask, he could feel your need, and he held your gaze as he guided himself to your entrance.
You gasped as he pressed into you and he rested his forehead against yours until his hips were touching yours. “My mate,” he breathed as you ran your hands down his back, and when you wrapped your legs around his hips, you felt his tail brush your ankle. Neteyam’s breaths were shallow as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, both of you needing a moment to adjust.
You were finally tied together the way you always should have been.
Together.
Connected.
One.
“’Teyam,” you breathed once you had adjusted and you cupped the back of his head.
He knew exactly what you needed and he nodded as he pulled halfway out before thrusting back into you and started a slow rhythm, soaking in every feeling of you. You had never felt so connected to someone and you melted at his touch, unsure of where you ended and he began.
His movements were slow but sure and you were consumed with the feel and smell of him. He filled you in a way you didn’t know you could be filled and you could feel yourself get closer and closer to that high with his every movement.
It wasn’t long until your moans grew louder and you dug your nails into his shoulders as your tail thrashed against the moss. When you came, your veins were filled with warmth, a warmth that only Neteyam could feel as his hips stuttered. The feeling of his mate cumming around him was indescribable and it pushed him ever closer.
He fucked you through your high before he picked his pace up, searching his own high. It wasn’t long before he came, too, burying himself deep inside you as he filled you up. You gasped at the feeling and pulled him closer, needing every piece of your mate you could get.
Neteyam smiled into your neck as you both caught your breath, and he pressed a light kiss to your skin before he pulled back to look at you with a soft smile. “We are mated before Eywa,” he breathed and cupped your jaw.
You leaned into his touch with a soft smile. “We are mated for life,” you replied, making his smile widen.
“My mate, my beautiful mate,” he smiled and rested his forehead against yours as you both soaked each other in.
You stayed with your forehead against his as your highs melted away, and slowly Neteyam pulled out of you, murmuring a soft apology when you whimpered at the loss of him. You could still feel his every breath and heartbeat, just like he could feel yours, and when he reached to break the bond, you shook your head. “Can we stay like this?” You asked softly.
Neteyam dropped his head as he nodded and he gave you a small smile before he kissed you softly. His every touch felt like home and you melted into him. He ran his thumbs over your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes full of love for you before he let himself settle behind you. His chest was warm against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you smiled to yourself as you leaned back against him.
You could feel his breath and his heart and the entirely of his being.
Whole, you realized, you felt whole. Neteyam was your other half, the part you hadn’t realized you were missing. Your everything.
The bond was a beautiful thing.
You smiled as you melted back against him. Your eyelids were heavy and it was easy for sleep to claim you, and when it did, you dreamt of your future with Neteyam—the way you’d grow together and the son he’d give you—and you smiled as you slept, unaware that Eywa had shown Neteyam the same dream.
--
When you woke to the sunlight streaming on your face the next morning, Neteyam was already awake, just soaking in the feeling of you, your braids still conjoined. He smiled when he realized you were awake and guided you onto your back so he could look at you as he rested on his side.
“Good morning, my mate,” he smiled softly.
“Good morning, my mate,” you repeated and reached out to cup his cheek. Neteyam leaned into your touch, making you smile as you ran your thumb over the arch of his cheek.
All he wanted was to stay wrapped up in you forever, but he knew you both had things to do and expectations to meet. “We should head back to the village,” he whispered and you sighed before nodding.
“We should,” you agreed, even if all you wanted was him.
He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before he asked to separate your braids. You didn’t want to, but you nodded and let Neteyam pull his braid from yours. You gasped at the break, feeling colder than you did a moment before, but even without the bond you could feel Neteyam. It was nowhere as strong as when your braids met, but he still lingered in the back of your mind and you knew you lingered in the back of his. You gave him a soft smile as you trailed your hand down his arm and he grinned at you, so in love with you.
It wasn’t hard for both of you to redress, through it did take you a few extra moments to clean your thighs, which made Neteyam smirk as he watched you, both of you taking your time, neither of you wanting the moment to end.
You had left the village as individuals, but now you returned as a mated pair. You held his hand as you let him guide you through the village toward his parents, toward the Olo’eykton.
As the Olo’eykton, it was his duty to know of every newly mated pair, and had it been anyone but his father, you wouldn’t have been so nervous. Sure, it was soon after his iknimaya, but he was still a man. But it was Neteyam’s father and Neteyam was the next Olo’eykton, making you, his mate, the next Tsahìk, and you couldn’t disappoint his family, or the People.
To no surprise, his family was already awake. Village life always started early.
“Neteyam,” Neytiri started when she laid her eyes on her oldest son, but her next words died on her tongue when she saw him holding your hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know. At his mate’s voice, Jake looked over and the corner of his lips twitched up as he saw his eldest son, already sensing his earlier intuition was correct.
“Mother, father,” Neteyam said and dipped his head to his parents, his hand never leaving yours, “I am taronyu now,” he continued. “Which means—”
“You may now choose a woman,” his mother finished for him, thinking back to the night she told Jake the very same words.
“Yes,” he breathed before he glanced back at you with a smile. “And I have.”
“You have?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded as he looked to his father.
“We are mated before Eywa.”
His mother took a sharp breath in, not in disapproval, but out of realization that her eldest son had truly become a man and had left her nest. Jake touched Neytiri’s arm to ground her as he nodded to his son. “We’re happy for you,” he said for the both of them before looking at his own mate, encouraging her to say something.
“We are,” she breathed and stepped forward to cup Neteyam’s cheek. “My son,” she whispered and ran her thumb over the arch of his cheek.
Neteyam smiled at his mother before he nodded and pulled back from her touch, his smile widening as he looked at you and let his tail brush yours. Jake nodded at the interaction before he smiled at you, “welcome to the family.”
Your smile widened before you dipped your head to him. “Thank you, sir.”
“Nah,” Jake waved his hand. “It’s Jake.” He told you, though one day you’d come to call him ‘dad.’
You were welcomed into the Sully family with open arms. Neytiri had her reservations, as would any mother, but Jake adored you. He saw how deeply you cared for Neteyam, and how deeply Neteyam cared for you, and though he’d never admit it, Jake could see him and Neytiri in you two.
Neteyam’s youngest sister, Tuk, adored you and though Neteyam was her best friend, you were a close second. Kiri was happy to have another sister, and one closer in age than Tuk. And Lo’ak…
Lo’ak treated you like you had always been there. He didn’t hesitate to make fun of you like he did for the rest of his siblings, and he certainly didn’t hold back as he made fun of you picking Neteyam for your mate. It always made Neteyam roll his eyes and, more often than not, call his sibling a skxawng, but it made you smile because it meant you were truly part of the family and you loved it.
The bond was beautiful, as was the family you gained with it.
The problem was, nothing stayed perfect forever.
Everything changed the day Jake realized there was one too many stars in the sky.
Twenty years before, Toruk Makto led the clans to victory over the Sky People, all Na’vi knew his story, but the war was over, something of the past, something that had come and gone before either you or Neteyam were born—or it was supposed to be anyway.
The Second War against the Sky People was more intense than you could have ever imagined, with the guns and the fire and the relocation and the devastation and the death—so many deaths.
A very capable hunter, Neteyam was always involved in the war effort. A spotter. He tried to reassure you that it was the safest role he could have, that he wasn’t on the ground on the front lines, but it didn’t make you feel any better. There was no “safe” in a war. And you had seen too many of your people die.
As the mate of the next Olo’eykton, you could be the next Tsahìk, so Mo’at had taken you under her win, teaching you so you could one day take her place. So, unlike your mate, his parents and his brother, your role in the war wasn’t out there but back at home as you worked to heal the wounded—and make comfortable those who would be welcomed into Eywa’s arms.
You knew your role was important, but it was hard. It was hard to see the devastation and the death, and it was hard knowing your mate was out there and could just as easily be the next person who came through the tent flap in need of help.
You could never breathe deeply, let alone eat or drink, until he was home safe.
And the day he came back home bruised and bloodied, you dropped your tray of herbs before you rushed to him, even as Jake scolded him and Lo’ak.
“I’m fine,” he told you softly, but the blood on your hand said otherwise.
“You are bleeding, he is bleeding,” you said as you turned to Jake after he finished his little speech. “I am taking him to Mo’at.” Neytiri backed you up, also worried for her son, so Jake dismissed him and you heard Neytiri arguing with him as you led Neteyam toward the healing tent, your hand on his back.
“I’m fine, truly,” he repeated once you two were out of earshot of his parents.
“You are hurt,” you replied softly and stopped to look at him, taking his hand in yours. “My heart aches seeing you hurt.”
Neteyam gave you a soft smile and rested his forehead against yours. “I am fine, my mate,” he said before he kissed you. “I feel no pain when I am with you.”
His words made your heart flutter and you retuned his smile. “You still require healing,” you replied and led him to Mo’at’s tent where Kiri was helping her grandmother.
You knew you should help Mo’at, but you couldn’t find it in you to leave your mate’s side. Kiri knew what to do, she was even better than you were, and you were more than happy to let her assist Mo’at while you held Neteyam’s hand, the end of your tail curled around his ankle.
Your heart ached every time he winced at the sting of the antiseptic and you squeezed his hand as you watched Mo’at and Kiri. His wound looked worse than it was, and you let out a relieved breath as they finished up.
“See?” Neteyam smiled weakly. “I’m okay.” You shook your head but still thanked Eywa that your mate was alright.
Still, you struggled to find sleep that night, your mind consumed with the what ifs of your mate’s injury. It would be too easy for his injury to be worse, for him to be taken from you. You had seen too many lose their mates the last year and had their blood curling screams as their hearts shattered beyond repair permanently imprinted in your memory.
To lose a mate was a fate worse than death, and you knew you’d never survive it.
Neteyam healed quickly from his wounds and Lo’ak was grounded for his recklessness. Neteyam was back on his ikran long before Lo’ak was, and without his ikran, without being involved in the war, Lo’ak somehow managed to create even more trouble as he convinced his siblings to return to the old shack.
It was a harmless intention born out of boredom and frustration, but the results were life altering.
It was Avatars. New Avatars. In tactical gear. They managed to get Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk and Spider under their knives and you didn’t want to think of what could have happened if not for Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam. But Jake knew they’d never stop hunting them, hunting his family. They may have won the battle, but the war still raged.
Everything changed after that, after they took Spider.
Jake and Neytiri knew the People would never be safe as long as they stayed with them, so they had to leave.
The words were like stones in Neteyam’s heart as he told you his family was planning to leave.
The Forest was your home, the only place you ever knew, the only place you ever wanted to know. The Forest was where you were born, where you grew up, where you fell in love with Neteyam, where you were supposed to raise your children.
Neteyam could sense your hesitation. “My father said it was for the best. He said that the Sky People are hunting us and not the People, so if we leave, the People will be safe,” he explained as he took your hand in his and brushed his tail against yours. “But I will stay with you if you ask me, my mate.” He would follow you to the end of the world if you asked.
You tightened your lips as you thought, but it was an easy decision. Just a painful one. “I go where you go,” you told him softly and squeezed his hand. “You are my home and my future, Neteyam.”
In hindsight, you really wished you had asked him to stay.
You packed your things onto your ikran and your heart ached as you said your goodbyes, but Neteyam was your mate. You couldn’t be without him.
Neteyam flew by your side as you left the Forest and even without touching him, you felt his comfort and you gave him a soft smile. As long as you were together, you’d be alright.
In the end, you found sanctuary with the Metkayina, the reef people.
It was hard to learn their ways, it was hard leaning the way of the water when the Forest was all you knew, but what you didn’t expect was how hard it was to see Neteyam lose his battle belt. His whole life he had been working toward it, working to become taronyu and earn his place among the People, and he barely had it a year before it was taken from him; before his symbol of manhood was taken from him.
Neteyam may have been taronyu, a man, among the Omatikaya, but you were Metkayina now and the iknimaya of the Omatikaya meant nothing here. He had to learn the way of the water and earn his place among the Metkayina before he’d be seen as a man.
Like Jake, Neteyam’s ears dropped as his belt was taken away and you did your best to steel your shoulders like Neytiri. You both had to be strong for your mates.
None of you were seen as adults among the Metkayina, but rather as children. It frustrated some more than others, like you and Neytiri. Neteyam took after his father and tried to take the transition in stride and did what he could to fit in.
And if the relocation and the helpless feeling wasn’t enough, you were sick a few times after the transition. Initially, you blamed it on the dietary shift. Sure, fish had been a part of your diet before, but it was freshwater fish and something you only had on occasion rather than every meal of every day. It was easy to blame your sickness on the fish, you just didn’t realize that none of the others were getting sick. Not until you were shucking oysters with Ronal at least.
Ronal was the Tsahìk of the Metkayina. She saw all and she was especially hesitant toward you and Neytiri. Both you and Neytiri were being trained to become the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, so it was natural for you both to resume your training with Ronal, she just wasn’t overly fond of the idea.
Ronal let it go the first few times you gagged at the smell of the oysters before she sighed. “Have you mated recently?” She asked without looking at you.
Your eyes bugged at the question. “Why do you ask?” You replied and stopped shucking to look over at her.
“Because I am wondering if you are with child,” Ronal replied, and the knife slipped from your hand.
“What?” You asked breathlessly.
“With child,” she repeated simply. She had had two children of her own with a third on the way, and she had helped to deliver more babes than she could count. She knew the signs well and given the amount of time she had been spending with you over the last couple weeks, she could see them in you. When you didn’t answer, Ronal looked over at you, “it is a simple question. Have you mated recently?”
Your ears went back as you blushed and nodded. Ronal hummed and put the oyster she was holding and her knife down before she stood and beckoned you up. She hummed as she looked you over before she touched your forehead and then your stomach.
“Food aversion?” She asked and you nodded.
“Fatigue?” You nodded again.
“Have you bled?” You thought about it for a moment before you ears went back further. You had been so focused on fitting in and your mate you hadn’t realized.
Ronal hummed and stepped back. “I do believe you are with child,” she said before she returned to her oysters like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis—again.
Your hands shook as you gently touched your stomach.
Pregnant.
You—
You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t be, you certainly found comfort in your mate’s arms many, many times since the relocation. But pregnant? Now? Could there be a worse time?
Slowly, you pulled your hands back and took a deep breath to clear your mind and ground yourself before you picked your knife back up and reached for another oyster.
“There are other things to do,” Ronal told you. “If the small bothers you, you will be slow. Tsireya will provide you with a different task to do.” You wanted to take her up on the offer, but you could hear Jake’s voice in your head telling you not to cause trouble and pull your weight, so you shook your head.
“I will be fine.”
She hummed but wasn’t surprised when you gagged again a moment later and she cast a look in your direction. You sighed as you nodded and moved your basket of unshucked oysters over to her, “I will find Tsireya.” If she smiled as you walked away, well, no one had to know.
Everyone was still so focused on fitting in and you could see the way looking after Lo’ak and keeping him out of trouble weighed on Neteyam, so you kept the news to yourself. If you told him, he’d only worry about you more than he already did and you didn’t want that.
And, well, it was no surprise that Ronal wasn’t fond of you. Forest People. Outcast. Alien. But knowing you were with child made Ronal soften. She didn’t look at you with the same animosity she did the others, and every time she saw you, she was sure to ask how you were doing. The Sullys were smart people, and it didn’t take Neytiri long to put two and two together and realize something was up with you, but she kept her suspicions to herself as she kept a careful eye on you.
You had always been the more affectionate one in your relationship with Neteyam, always touching him or seeking to touch him, but now you were reserved. At first, Neytiri thought you two were fighting, but Neteyam assured her you weren’t, that it was just the move and the swimming was exhausting you and the fish wasn’t agreeing with you, which was true—it just wasn’t the whole truth.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. You did, you just didn’t want to add to his already full plate, and then the longer you kept it a secret the harder it was to tell him. Between Kiri’s seizure and Norm coming and Lo’ak and Neteyam’s fight with Ao’nung and Payakan and the Tulkun, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him.
It was only after yet another dinner you couldn’t keep down that the truth finally came to light.
“You are unwell,” Neteyam said as he followed you toward your hut. It was the third time this week and he was tired of you constantly brushing it, and him, off.
“I’m fine, Neteyam,” you sighed. “It’s just—”
“The move? The fish?” He repeated your words back to you. “No, I don’t believe you. Have you spoken to Ronal? She is Tsahìk and she could help you.”
You hesitated before you turned back to look at him with tight lips before you sighed and took his hand. He gave you a concerned look as you guided him down to the beach where you could have some privacy. “Ronal can’t help me,” you said as you turned to face and gently fiddled with his fingers. “Because I am not sick.”
“It is just us, my mate, you never need lie to me,” he replied softly and used his free hand to cup your cheek.
“I’m not lying, ‘Teyam,” you breathed and covered his hand with yours before you guided it down to your stomach. “I’m not sick, I’m with child.”
Neteyam froze as he let your words sink in before he softened. “You are with child?” He whispered and stepped closer to you.
You nodded, “it’s horrible timing, but—”
“But nothing,” he smiled. “This is amazing news! We’re having a baby—the first of many I hope.” You were taken by surprise when he picked you up and spun you around, completely elated.
You laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you patted him. “Enough, ‘Teyam, I’ll be sick again.”
“Right, sorry, my love,” he replied and sat you down, his smile never wavering as he touched your stomach again. “I’m just really happy.”
“I am, too,” you said softly and covered his hand before you kissed him softly. He cupped the back of your head to keep you close, but you both couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled back and rested your hand on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting beat of his heart.
Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer by the small of your back before he rested his forehead against yours. “I would take you here and now on the beach if you let me, my mate,” he hummed.
“Anyone could see, including your parents,” you laughed.
“Then let them see,” he hummed and when he tried to kiss you again, you shoved him back, making him laugh loudly before he pulled you close again, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was.
“Once the sickness passes,” you told him and guided his hand back up to your back.
Neteyam softened and he nodded, “of course, my mate. May I at least hold you tonight?”
“I’d expect nothing else,” you smiled and let him lead you back toward your hut. Once Neteyam closed the flap, you rid yourself of your top—another sign of your growing baby was how swollen and sensitive your breasts had become and the weight of the beads irritated you in a way they never had before.
Neteyam groaned low in his throat as he knelt on the bed, “are you sure you don’t want me to pleasure you, my mate?” He asked softly.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you laughed and pulled him down next to you and you laughed when his hand managed to find your breast after he settled behind you. He didn’t try to do more than hold your breast while his other hand rested on your stomach, so you let him as you pressed yourself back against him.
The reef wasn’t the Forest, but it was nice and welcoming and you could see you two raising your children along the blue water and sandy beaches. Neteyam’s tail curled around your ankle and you smiled as you tried to press yourself closer to him. You could feel him smile into your neck and it was easy to fall asleep.
He was your everything.
This family was your everything.
And if you knew what would happen next, you would have fought sleep to soak in the feeling of his arms one last time. You would have memorized the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. You would have traced every dark line that decorated his body. You would have held him a little longer.
You wouldn’t have taken the moment for granted, expecting thousands more in the coming years.
But you didn’t know what would happen so you didn’t, and the ache of regret would eat at you for the rest of your days.
The bond… it’s a beautiful thing.
Until it isn’t.
--
The village was devastated by the hunting of the Tulkun by the Sky People. They were their spirit brothers and sisters, and Jake didn’t have to say it for you to know it happened because you were here. They weren’t hunting the Tulkun, they were hunting you. When Jake took the tracker from Neteyam, you took his hand and he tried to reassure you as he squeezed your hand.
“You tell the Tulkun if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death.”
Jake’s words hung heavy in the air. Neteyam gave you a look that told you everything would be okay, but your stomach still twisted. You came to the Metkayina to hide; to keep your people safe. You promised them you were done with war, but the war still followed you—and at the cost of their spirit siblings.
And because nothing ever came easy, Lo’ak was determined to warn Payakan himself. Neteyam followed Lo’ak, knowing his brother better than anyone and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Lo’ak gathering a saddle for an ilu.
He shook his head, a frustrated smile on his lips, “no way, you’re not going, baby brother.”
Lo’ak wasn’t having any of it. “I have to warn Payakan,” he told his brother firmly.
“No. You have to keep your skxawng ass here,” Neteyam replied, gritting his teeth. For once, could he just listen to him.
But Lo’ak never did. “He’s outcast. There’s no one to warn him but me.”
Neteyam shook his head as he clenched his fist. “Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said exasperated as he touched the top of Lo’ak’s’ head, but Lo’ak quickly shoved him off as his eyes hardened.
“No. You mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you, a perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you, okay? I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.” Neteyam clenched his jaw as he stepped back, his brother’s words cutting him like a knife. If he only knew the weight of his words, but he didn’t and he never would as Neteyam swallowed back the bitter words threatening to spill out and he steeled himself as stepped closer to his brother.
“Oh, he’s your brother? No, I’m your brother,” his voice was hard as he stared Lo’ak down, but Lo’ak didn’t concede and he scoffed before he dove in the water, heading for Payakan and Neteyam knew he had to go after him.
“Neteyam!” You called as you came up behind him and he shook his head.
“He’s going to Payakan,” he told you and you were hot on his heels as he summoned his ilu, as were Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Ao’nung and Rotxo. But when you went to summon your own ilu, Neteyam put his hand on your stomach to keep you back. “I need you here where you’re safe,” he told you but you shook his head.
“I’m going, Neteyam.” He opened his mouth to argue, but your look silenced him. Wherever your mate went, you would follow.
His tail flicked as he clenched his jaw before he nodded. “With me then,” he said before he dove into the water and you followed his lead. You quickly settled behind him on his ilu and wrapped your hand around his waist while he held onto the reigns of the ilu with one hand, his other hand reaching back to hold your thigh, keeping you against him as he followed after Lo’ak to Payakan.
By the time you got to Payakan, Lo’ak was struggling against the red tracker buried in Payakan’s back while the others tried to help. You and Neteyam were quick to jump on and help, but the tracker was in deep and you realized quickly that the demon ship was rapidly approaching.
“Call dad,” Neteyam said to Lo’ak. “Just do it.”
He didn’t want to, he knew the trouble he’d be in, so he hesitated before he called Jake. Lo’ak’s words were muffled as you all focused on the tracker. Your heart raced as you kept glancing between it and the demon ship. “Come on, come on, come on,” you said as Neteyam tossed a rope up to Ao’nung who wrapped one end around the tracker while Neteyam wrapped the other end around the reigns of his ilu.
“Please, Eywa, please,” you whispered as you pulled and pulled and finally the tracker gave, and you all fell at the release of tension. Neteyam was quick to gather the tracker as Lo’ak told Payakan to go.
“Go, I’ll draw them away,” Neteyam told you, making your blood go cold. When you opened your mouth to argue, Neteyam shook his head. They were after the tracker and Neteyam couldn’t have it anywhere near you, your baby, or his siblings. “Take Tuk, I’ll see you after.”
You had no choice but to nod and you gathered Tuk and Kiri on Kiri’s ilu and led them into the seaweed for cover, but the submarines followed you. Your mind raced as quickly as your heart as your ilu weaved between plants and leaves, desperate for any cover, but there wasn’t any to be had. There was too many of them.
The submarines swarmed you, forcing you off the ilu and you kept your eyes on Tuk as you swam toward an air pocket, Lo’ak and Tsireya right behind you while Kiri ended up with Ao’nung and Rotxo. “They’re coming,” Tsireya said and you were all quick to dive back under, but it was useless. The submarines could move faster than you could swim.
It was over when they launched the net at you. You didn’t realize it was coming until it was too late, the net already surrounding you and the air left your lungs as you began to panic. Lo’ak managed to escape before it caught him and he pulled at the net trying to rescue you, Tuk and Tsireya, but it was no use. The net scooped you up and dropped you on board the demon ship. Your vision swam as you tried to catch your breath, your lungs burning, and before you knew it, you were bound to the demon ship’s rail.
You watched as Tuk, Tsireya and Lo’ak struggled against the bonds but you knew it pointless. You were stuck. You were stuck and your mate was somewhere out there. You felt useless as the Metkayina attacked the demon ship. When you came and begged for sanctuary, you had promised them there would be no more war and now the war was here and they’d die because of your family.
You looked Tuk and your heart sank at the terror in her eyes, and you were so focused on Tuk you didn’t notice Payakan until he was on top of you, desperate to save Lo’ak.
All hell broke loose after that.
“Don’t watch,” you told Tuk. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Neteyam had always been her favourite family member, but you were a close second given you were his mate. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she nodded. “Just keep your eyes on me, Tuk,” you repeated.
It was only when Neteyam jumped on board that you were finally able to take a deep breath. A smile played on his lips as he cut your bounds, then Tuk’s, then Tsireya’s before he reached his brother and cut him free. “Who’s the might warrior? Come on, say it,” he grinned as he touched Lo’ak’s head before he turned back to you.
“Bro,” Lo’ak smiled and reached for a gun while Neteyam had his back to him.
“Go, get out of here. Take Tuk. Go,” Neteyam said to you.
“Neteyam—” you tried but he shook his head.
“Go,” he repeated, begging you to listen to him, and you clenched your jaw as you tried to lead Tuk away, and Neteyam kept his eyes on you, desperate to make sure you and Tuk were safe. But when he heard the familiar click of a gun, he turned back to his brother.
“We have to go,” he said but Lo’ak shook his head.
“He has Spider. Come on, bro, we can’t lose him,” Lo’ak said and headed into the ship.
Neteyam protested under his breath before he followed after his brother. Lo’ak always had to make things difficult.
At the same time, they managed to grab Kiri. Tuk’s scream for her sister would forever be imprinted in your memory, but you had to get her to safety. Jake and Neytiri would get Kiri.
Except, Tuk fought your hold on her before she slipped free and headed back for the ship. “Sullys stick together,” she said and you grumbled under your breath before you abandoned your ilu and headed after her, needing to keep her safe.
“This isn’t a good idea, Tuk,” you whisper shouted at her, but she ignored you, desperate to save Kiri, and you were sure to be quiet as you followed her.
“Kiri!” She called when she saw her sister, slipping under the bars as you both tried to break Kiri’s bonds, but it was no use and an Avatar was quick to bind Tuk to the rail next to Kiri before shoving you back into the water. Your heart sank and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and fight and rescue them and keep them safe, but when the bullets hit the water, you knew it wasn’t an option and you called to a nearby ilu and quickly jumped on. You’d have to find another way to rescue them and you circled the water looking for any sign of your mate and Lo’ak.
You were granted a moment of relief when you saw Tsireya, but it was short lived as you realized she was alone and your heart sank. Tsireya pulled her ilu up beside yours and pursed her lips as she shook her head. Neteyam and Lo’ak had to still be on board.
Your heart twisted before a flash of cold went through your body and you gasped for breath under the water, the air bubbling around you as Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam jumped into the water above you, bullets still raining around you.
No.
No.
You knew it. Before he could even say it, you knew, the freezing cold blooming in your chest that left you gasping for air as you resurfaced in the water.
“That was insane, cous,” the voice was muffled in your ears.
“Neteyam,” you breathed and reached out to him.
“You skxawng, I’ve been shot.”
Panic coursed through your veins and you swore you didn’t breathe as you wrapped your arm around him to keep his head above the water, the normally clear water stained red with his blood. Too much blood.
“You’re okay, you’re okay,” you said to both him and yourself, even as the ice in your chest melted to a sharp ache that shot down your arm and Neteyam’s expression twisted in pain.
The panic in Lo’ak’s eyes mirrored your own as he helped you get Neteyam onto the ilu before he pulled you on too. “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, the best of his age, but he was weak in his arms.
“They have Kiri and Tuk,” Tsireya tried to tell him, but the words never really processed for him.
“We can’t go back,” he replied and raced for the rocks, Tsireya and Spider holding on to the side if the ilu’s reigns. You kept your hand pressed against Neteyam’s chest as you moved through the water and his hand gripped your wrist tightly, needing to hold on to you, needing to anchor himself to you.
It only took a minute to get to the rocks, but it felt like hours. Lo’ak helped you carry Neteyam as he gritted his teeth in pain. Your chest felt tighter with every passing second and you didn’t know if it was your own anxiety, or your mate slipping through your fingers.
Your hands shook as you moved around him and your ears started to ring as you rolled him onto his side. The shot was clean through.
“It’s almost always better for the bullet to be clean through.” You could hear Jake’s voice in your head and you laid him back and put pressure on his chest as you begged Eywa to help you.
It was almost always better.
Almost.
Neteyam’s hands were coated in his own blood and he looked up at you with wide, terrified eyes before he grasped your bicep, his grip nowhere near as strong as it was when he held your wrist.
“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you told him, willing your voice not to shake so you could be strong for your mate. He breathed your name before he scrunched his face up like he was trying to get away from the pain. “You’re going to be okay,” you repeated before pulling your eyes away from his as Jake and Neytiri settled around you.
“No, no, no,” Jake whispered as he perched across from you.
“Clean through,” you told him before he could ask, your ears back and hands red with Neteyam’s blood, and your heart dropped at the way his ears went back. “No,” you whispered, unable to muster your voice any louder before you looked back at your mate. He had to be okay.
He had to.  
“You’ll be okay,” Neteyam told you as he struggled to force air into his lungs.
The ache in your chest began to ease to a fuzzy feeling and you shook your head. “No, no, Neteyam.” You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t survive it.
“You’ll both be okay,” he breathed, his voice softer than a whisper as he dropped his hand to your stomach.
“I see you; I love you,” you told him, desperately trying not to cry and you pulled one of your hands from his chest to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the dark line that decorated the arch of his cheek.
“I know, I—”
Neteyam never finished his sentence and his hand dropped from your stomach, leaving a bloody handprint in its wake.
You felt the moment he died.
The warmth, the comfort, the unmistakable feeling of him, fizzled out, replaced instead with an unshakeable feeling of emptiness.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You were supposed to spend your life with him.
It was supposed to be you and him.
You and him.
You were lightheaded as you settled back on your haunches, your hands red with his blood and Lo’ak caught you as you swayed.
Numb.
The only way to describe the feeling was numb, like he had taken your soul with him when he died, leaving nothing but an empty shell in his wake.
And maybe he had.
The bond is beautiful, that’s what they tell you. But they never tell you of the anguish that comes with it.
You could separate your life into before Neteyam and after Neteyam. The before wasn’t important, it didn’t matter, because Neteyam was your world. He was your everything, your world spun on an axis of you and him. The People say you’re born twice, once when you are born and then again when you find your place among the people, and you were born again the day Neteyam chose you. And now all that was left of your mate was his bloody handprint and the world had the audacity to keep on spinning.
The ringing in your ears drowned out Neytiri’s blood curling scream for her first-born son, and you slouched into Lo’ak as you kept your eyes on Neteyam’s. His beautiful, golden, lifeless eyes.
You didn’t hear Jake ask Lo’ak where his sisters were. You didn’t hear Tsireya tell him they were on the ship. You didn’t hear Spider tell him to follow him. And you certainly didn’t hear Jake tell Lo’ak to stay and that he had done enough. You didn’t hear any of it as you kept looking at your mate, unable to pull your eyes away, no matter how painful it was.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
You only heard Lo’ak tell Tsireya he was going because he pulled back from you, jostling you enough to pull you from your trance to steady yourself. “Lo’ak, no,” she replied desperately, but there was no stopping him as he dove back into the water, leaving you alone with her and your mate’s dead body.
You didn’t know how long you two sat there in the silence, it could have been seconds or minutes or hours, before Tsireya broke it. “We should wash your hands,” she said softly.
You curled your hands into fists. You didn’t want to. Washing the blood off meant losing the only tangible part of your mate you had left. But you knew she was right, so you nodded and you moved on autopilot as she led you to the edge of the water. Your gaze was blank as she washed Neteyam’s blood off your hands, but you drew the line when she reached for your stomach.
“No,” you said sharply and gripped her wrist before she could touch you. Her ears went back as she nodded before she took your hand in hers as you sat back on the rock.  
You felt both empty and heavy at the same time as you sat there before Tsireya found her voice again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure of what else to say.
Your ears went back as you nodded, not trusting your voice. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you looked over at her. “You and Lo’ak deserve better,” you whispered and touched your stomach, desperate to remind yourself of something worth living for.
Her ears went back even further as her shoulders dropped, but she followed your hand with her eyes. “He—” she started before she stopped herself. “Are you?” She asked instead.
You nodded again before you looked over at her with tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without him.”
Her shoulders dropped as her ears went back again. She couldn’t imagine what you were feeling. “You won’t do this alone,” she told you softly. “You have the village behind you.”
You knew she only meant to comfort you, but her words only reminded you that Neteyam would never meet his child. “But I need him,” you whispered before you pulled your hand from her and pushed yourself away from the water’s edge.
Your heart broke all over again as you looked at your mate, laying there lifelessly, blood staining his beautiful blue skin. His eyes were still open as they stared at the sky above—at nothing. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you looked at him before you reached out and softly closed his eyes. He’d look like he was sleeping, if not for all the blood.
But despite all the blood, you laid down next to him and gently put your head on his chest as you curled into him, your tail wrapping around his ankle.
His chest was silent and still and you wept into him, begging Eywa to give him back.
But she didn’t.
His chest never rose, his heart never beat, his skin never warmed, and his eys never opened.
He was gone.
Your beautiful mate was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back.
--
The funeral was harder than you expected, having to say goodbye to his body as you, Jake and Neytiri lowered his body down to the Cove of the Ancestors. You knew that he was gone, that your mate was gone, that it was just a shell of his being, but you still wept, your tears burning your eyes more than the salt ever did.
Your lungs burnt as the air left you as you watched as the cove took his body, wrapping around him as it slowly consumed him, and just like that, he was gone, a piece of the ocean.
The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.
The first thing anyone heard when you resurfaced was your sob and you let Neytiri hug you as you sobbed into her shoulder. “My child,” she whispered as she held you close.
“It’s not fair,” you managed to get out between sobs.
“I know,” she whispered, her heart just as broken as yours.
Eywa holds all her children in her heart, but all you wanted was to hold him in your arms.
--
And if you thought the funeral was hard, visiting the Spirit Tree was even harder. Jake and Neytiri had gone soon after the funeral but took you days to get the courage to visit, to visit Neteyam.
Your tears disappeared into the salt water as you held your braid in your hand. Your heart ached in your chest, but slowly you let your tendrils connect with the Spirit Tree.
At first, all you felt was warmth as white consumed your vision, but then you were filled with the familiar view of the Forest, of your home. You smiled to yourself as you looked around, and just like that, Neteyam slipped out from between the trees, his battle belt and ikran eyewear on and your eyes watered as you looked at him, every bit the man you loved.
“Neteyam?” You asked and he smiled as he came around you, his tail wrapping around yours in a way he knew comforted you.
“Why are you crying, my mate?” He asked concerned he reached out to cup your jaw.
“I’m just happy to see you,” you told him breathlessly and you committed his smile to memory.
“I’m happy to see you, too, my mate,” he replied and you trailed your eyes over every mark on his body as your heart wept.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
Neteyam was your everything, your best friend, your lover, your mate, the father of your child.
From the moment his braid meant yours, you felt him. You felt him in a way no one else could and no one else would. You felt his being. And too soon you had felt him go.
Memories of you two as children, growing up, becoming teenagers, and falling in love, flashed before your eyes and you took water into your lungs as you sobbed, forcing yourself to pull back from the spirit tree and returned to the surface, one hand treading water as you held your stomach with the other.
A boy, you thought suddenly, the Tsahìk abilities you had been training for finally showing themselves. You were having a boy.
The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced, the beginning and end of everything, of all that you are.
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34saveme34 · 4 months
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Sever the Ties - another smg34 fic by yours truly
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[Very excited to post this !!
CW: obviously angst, self harm (mainly once), in general a lot of death mentions, no actual deaths though
word count: 11243
Although SMG3 didn't like it when 4 helped him, he convinced him through endless whining to help clean the cafe after the chaos his USB caused (Why does that sound familiar?).
It took the whole day, both were way too exhausted. 3 sat down on one of the chairs guests would usually sit on. A lot of emotions were boiling in him.
“Whew, we’re done, finally!” 4 exclaimed, stretching his arms after completing such a grueling task.
“You didn't need to help” 3 said, contempt dripping off his words. But he was still holding back.
“It's my fault so I kind of did”
3 just sighed and got up, not wanting to further engage in conversation.
4 looked confused, but also upset.
“Dude! Not even a thanks?” he pouted
3 looked back at him, a sort of coldness in his eyes 4 didn't like to be subjected to.
“Thanks for fixing your own mistake. Now scram” he didn't yell, but he wasn't exactly calm either.
“I’m sorry… it wasn't on purpose I promise I… I hope you can forgive me, 3” 4 pleaded, looking 3’s way, his big eyes reflecting off all the sorrow he was feeling about the situation. 3 looked away but that face already made an impression on his mind. It was hard to stay mad at him.
“I know…” his voice was so gentle “This is just how it is with you sometimes, isn't it?” 3 joked, looking back at 4. 4 frowned.
“But! It shouldn't be… I’ve gotta make it up for you somehow…”
“Please don't…” 3 whined.
“I promise it's gonna be good!” 4 gave him a double thumbs up, as he left with an excited grin. 3 could feel a plan cooking up in 4’s brain, there was no way to stop him.
He shook his head, chuckling to himself.
“What did I do to deserve this?” he spoke to himself, with a stupid grin he couldn't wipe off. As he was trying to cope with the idea that 4 could ruin him further, he felt his furry son greeting him by nuzzling his foot.
“Hey there, boy!” as if he was absolved of all worry, he lifted Eggdog in his arms, hugging him. He earned excited barks for it.
“At least I have you” he petted him then put him down. He still felt kind of bittersweet.
He left to his evil lair, and immediately hit the bed. He felt too emotionally unavailable for the shower right now. The bathroom in general. Walking by the mirror in there simply made him feel dread. He didn't think he could develop such a repulsion towards his own image. His whole living place kind of became hell for him for this reason.
He couldn't sleep, it just wasn't working. He got up. His clock read 2 AM. He sighed. Something was on his mind.
“I should get rid of them…” he stared at the statue of himself. Every second that passed as he stared at it, he felt he couldn't even get out of his own merch’s shadows. It all made him feel sick. He got up, and started throwing out everything that used his likeness. All the plushies, cardboard standees and other merch he still had on hand. Not the statue, not yet. He had something special for that.
He put all the merch in a pile and lit it all on fire. It was sad to see but he felt relieved in some way as well. They had been haunting him for weeks at that point. Although the amount of money he spent on these was kinda sad to see go. Just another financial mistake of his, these felt common for him at this point. And it started so well too, with how much he got his hopes up, he plummeted that hard. He barely even realised he started to cry. He wiped his eyes, trying to compose himself but he only started crying more, and not so softly anymore. His breathing wasn't calm either, his brain felt like melting. So much pain in him, trying to turn him into nothing. He looked up at the sky, wondering where he could have gone wrong.
It took him a bit to calm down. He was glad that everyone was probably asleep at this point. The sadness slowly turned into twisted anger. He got up, walking up and down beside his fucked up bonfire, trying to calm himself.
“What did I even do to deserve this? I’ve been trying so hard- I went through so much! I thought I worked enough on myself to have a good life now” he stared up at the sky, as if he expected the stars to have an answer. But they were deadly silent.
“GOD DAMN IT, GIVE ME A REASON” he screamed, still staring up, as if blaming some sort of god for the way he was now. He was once again crying. He harshly sat down. It hurt but at least he wasn't only feeling his emotions that way. The thought made him stop, as he slowly looked to the fire, perhaps bad things forming in his brain. The more he looked at it, the more the fire made an impression on his brain. The way it was so strong, going up but dissipating soon too. It kind of reminded him of himself. Would anyone miss him if he became one with the fire?... Or  was he too much of a coward? He pulled off one of his gloves, his expression still wore sadness. He pulled his sleeve slightly up, not wanting it to catch fire. He reached in. It was kind of overwhelming. His mind felt empty from the pain. He pulled back suddenly as the pain really settled in him,even if it hadn’t been there for that long, crying out again. He couldn't believe it, he was crying again… Why was he such a failure?
“...3?” he heard a soft voice come from behind him, all too familiar. His heart sank. He couldn't look.
“...3! What… What's wrong?” the voice came closer, it seemed he was not getting off the hook with this one.
“Why are you here?” 3 spoke, his voice was strained from the crying.
“I couldn't sleep because of our link… I could feel something was wrong…” 4 kneeled down beside 3, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 3 wasn't sure how to feel. His hand was hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Why did he have to be so fucking stupid?
4 grabbed his burnt hand. But he didn't say a thing. He was gentle too, he could see how much it hurt. 4 sighed softly and pulled 3 up.
“Wait, what the hell are you doing??” 3 tried to get away, pulling himself from 4’s grip.
“I want to help. This can't continue”
3 stared at him, so many thoughts attacking him. He felt awful.
“Like you could do anything, dipshit!”
4 was about to look offended but visibly held back.
“If you let me, I can. Please, 3… You know I care about you, right? It's awful to see you like… like this” he grabbed 3’s shoulder firmly, once again beginning to pull him back.
3 sighed.
“You won't let me go, huh?”
“Never ever” 4 smiled at 3, trying to be hopeful. 3 cared too… He really did.
4 took him inside then searched around everywhere he could to find something to treat 3’s burns. As he looked around, that's when he realised all the merch was missing. Their absence made him feel kind of uneasy. He thought for a bit then called Meggy.
“It's 4 in the morning” she sounded upset.
4 went outside, leaving 3 alone inside the cafe. 3 looked his way, but he didn't feel like going after him.
He was on the phone for a bit, probably about a few minutes. 3 didn't go outside but still stared the entire time. 4 came back inside after putting his phone away.
“I called Meggy, she has stuff for your burns”
3 frowned.
“You didn't need to-”
“What were you doing anyways?”
3 looked down, not wanting to look at 4 as he said those next few words.
“Burning merch”
4 was shocked. That's when he put together that what he saw then was all the merch burning.
“What?... What for?” 4 sounded so sad. It killed 3. He wished he could smile at him again.
“No one wanted them anyways, and I hated staring at them only catch dust”
“Still… I… has it really been this bad?”
“I’m surprised you didn't notice…. Then again, you're not exactly best at catching on things”
“Hey I-...” 4 looked down “I guess you're right”
Neither looked at the other. The tension…
Meggy stepped inside the cafe, which got both out of their sudden silence.
“Hey, guys, I brought some burn ointments, I came as soon as I could!”
“Why do you have it anyways?” 3 asked.
“You never know when you might need it!... And my time in the kitchen often leaves me with burns-”
“Fair enough” 4 commented, nodding. It made sense, Meggy is a shitty ass cook. 
4 and Meggy treated 3. 3 was kind of glad they stopped questioning why this even happened. He really really didn't want to talk about it.
“So” 4 started. Oh no.
“What?” 3 didn't dare look at either of them, playing with the bandage they put on his hand.
“What's wrong, SMG3?” Meggy folded her arms, looking concerned. 
“He burnt his merch” 4 told Meggy since 3 was rather silent.
“What??” even she was shocked. 3 was starting to feel like an utter clown, this was torture.
“Yeah… and I feel like it's my fault…” 4’s voice was filled with sorrow. 3 perked up for that, staring at 4 with an expression that was hard to read. It slowly turned soft though.
“It's… not actually” 3 sighed. It was his own fault. 
“I-... I think I still want to help… especially because I think I found something that could help your business out”
3 looked at him confused and scared. Whatever was in this man’s mind could only lead to bad things.
4 took his phone out and showed a picture of a billboard. It had the number on it to call if you wanted to rent it.
3 looked at the picture. Back at 4. Back at the picture, back at 4. He tilted his head. Meggy looked confused as well.
“You could advertise like this!”
“4… I hate to break it to you but I don’t have that kind of money right now”
4 shook his head.
“I’ll pay for it!” 4 pumped a fist into the air cheerfully. He was serious about this.
3 went so wide eyed, not even sure what he was supposed to say.
“THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY, YOU IDIOT???”
“3’s right, 4… that’s a rather big commitment”
“I don’t mind it!”
“The fuck you mean you don’t mind it??” 3 was rather flustered now. The grand gesture proposed to him made him feel all sorts of things.
“I wanna make it up to you, 3… for all the times I had mistreated you” 4 put a hand on 3’s shoulder. 3 was so flustered he didn’t even know what to say anymore. He wasn’t used to being treated so special. 
“Damn, that’s so sweet of you 4, I wish you cared about me this much” Meggy teased 4, 4 didn’t seem to get what she was going for. She didn’t feel like elaborating. 
“Are you sure?” 3 finally got some words out. Didn’t mean he looked any less flustered though.
“Yeah! You deserve it, man!” he patted 3 on his back then pulled him close by the shoulder. It seemed 4 was rather touchy today. And Meggy started to feel awkward about third wheeling. 
“So, guys, I’m gonna go back to sleep now, you’re welcome for my help” she waved them goodbye quickly. It was so interesting to see the 2 get along in their own ways but she still felt like she was intruding on something she shouldn’t.
3 felt like he was left to succumb now that he was left alone with 4. He couldn’t believe that he wished for Meggy to stay longer.
It took everything in him but he just couldn’t… he couldn’t keep it in. He hugged 4. It took a bit but 4 hugged back. They were silent, the hug was long. He wasn’t exactly a fan of affection but 4 got the best of him. He couldn’t help it at this point. 
“You sure are affectionate today” 4 teased 3 softly.
“Not my fault”
“Heh… is it mine?” 4 grinned.
“Yeah yeah” 3 pulled 4 away gently “And now it’s over”
“Thanks, your hugs are nice”
“You do realise how that sounds, right?”
“Well… Sometimes you’re a little gay with the homies, right?” 4 joked. 3 facepalmed. 
“Whatever…”
They stood around for a bit before 4 spoke.
“Say… will you be able to sleep like this?”
3 didn’t even think of that. With the way he got, he almost thought today would be his last day.
“Uh… I don’t know, I probably just… won’t”
4 squinted at him, having none of his bad behaviour.
“No way”
The 2 stared at each other, 3 looking kind of angry, especially since 4 didn’t budge.
“What are you gonna do, beat me to sleep or some shit?” 
“No… That’s mean”
“It’s not like you would cuddle me to sleep-” 3 said. He already said it and he couldn’t take it back. The words he didn’t mean to just put out there but now 4 knew. He knew that 3 considered cuddling him to sleep.
“Not a bad idea… then in the morning we can start on preparing for that billboard!”
3 grew so red.
“I DIDN’T SAY I WANT TO”
“Then why did you bring it up?”
“And why are you so for it?”
4 blushed himself, now that he thought about it further… It was a pretty weird idea.
“This once?” 4 pleaded, with those loser puppy dog eyes. 3 sighed.
“Fine”
“Though… you should shower first”
“Being picky now, aren’t we?”
“I can help you with that too” 4 smiled, feeling kind of powerful that he could tease 3. He got slapped. He realised it was kind of deserved.
“Fine, I'll shower. Very VERY far from you”
“I was just joking! I swear!”
3 sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t believe he could be this close to this idiot.
3 showered and came back to 4 by his bed. It was kind of weird but he also sort of looked forward to it. In like a weird, twisted and awful way. He looked away from 4 to the statue he had of himself. It filled him with dread.
“Hey, 4, before we sleep… can you help me bring this out of here?” he pointed at the statue.
“Is it really necessary right now?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep with it around”
4 got up, guess there was no other way. They moved it out of the room together, although they had to take it apart a bit so they could fit it out of the door. For the night, they left it in the cafe lounge, he would worry about it later.
Now came the time to sleep. 3 got kind of flustered at 4 opening his arms for him to sleep there. He didn’t even let him go far away, keeping him close, as if he didn’t want to ever let him go… Only 4 knew that that thought was kind of accurate. It was so so uncomfortably comforting, 3 fell asleep pretty fast. If it wasn’t so weird, he’d ask to do this more.
Next day came by, 3 was slow to stir awake. He kind of didn’t feel like getting up. The warmth of 4 was a bit too nice… What the the fuck do you mean? Get yourself together! 3 wriggled himself out of 4’s hold and went to the bathroom to splash his face with water. He had to get himself together.
But man… He still missed it. How could he even cope with this?
He went back to his room and sat beside the still sleeping 4. He still couldn’t believe 4 just cuddled him last night. He thought he would never do something like that. It kind of intrigued him in a way. He wondered if he made this side of him trigger with what he did last night. He frowned, thinking of the possibility. He didn’t want to hurt 4. At least… he hoped he didn’t want to hurt 4. The idea made him kind of sick. 
He only realised how intensely he was staring at 4 when he woke up, his eyes meeting his own. He suddenly turned away, as if he hadn’t been looking at 4 for who knew how long at that point. 4 smiled about that, he was glad to see that 3 cared. Although he didn’t speak up about it… It was still too early for him. He lightly tugged on 3’s arm.
“What?” 3 looked at him unamused.
“Coffee?” 4 requested with one simple word.
3 just stared at him. 4 frowned.
“Pretty please”
3 rolled his eyes, he got up and went outside to make one for 4. 4 took that time to still relax in 3’s bed. He didn’t think it would be so nice sleeping beside 3. Although the idea was spontaneous and if the circumstances were different, he wouldn’t have done it… But his need to see 3 okay won him over like this. 
3 was brewing the coffee, while it was going, he phoned some dude up, apparently from the dark web. As soon as he put his phone down, a shady dude came out from the floor and took the disassembled statue, leaving a few coins behind for a fair trade. 3 picked them up. At least he could get a little money out of his sudden spring cleaning. 
3 went back down to 4 with the coffee, made to 4’s liking, he knew his taste pretty well at this point. Even if he didn’t have a lot of customers anymore, 4 would still come every once in a while. 
4 took the coffee, taking a sip, he hummed with delight.
“Great as always” 4 commented, drinking more of it. 3 was glad that even if his business was dying, he still managed to make banger coffee that 4 liked.
“Thanks”
“No no, thank YOU”
“Whatever, you’re welcome” 3 smiled, folding his arms.
“Hey… don’t you wanna come beside me” the warmth radiating off of 4 was quite beckoning.
“What would I for? Not like I have business with you”
4 deflated.
“You kinda do, considering what we talked about yesterday…” 4 pulled out his laptop “I guess you don’t want to save your business?” 
3 went wide eyed. He accepted defeat and sat beside 4. 
“So… we should probably put together your ad!” 4 exclaimed “Now I uh… I had this idea for a while… and I made some mock ups!” 4 said and opened up a folder that held a few images.
They weren’t exactly well drawn and 4 didn’t have the most legible writing. 3 often had to lean in close to see them. After looking at them all, he looked at 4 and chuckled.
“I see graphic design is your passion” he teased.
“I did this for you!”
“They look like shit”
“Nooo,,”
“What were you even trying to write here?” 3 opened one of the images back up.
“It’s-! I… I don’t remember? Ahaha” 4 laughed awkwardly. 3 rolled his eyes, somehow not believing this idiot could make himself look even less smart. 
“Let’s start this again…” 3 got up and brought back a pen tablet. 
“Didn’t know you had one of these”
“I got it not too long ago actually! It’s great to use” 3 took 4’s laptop in his own lap and plugged in his tablet.
“Uh-” 3 started “ do you mind if I download the software for it? It works better that way”
“Sure, go on… just don’t get me viruses!”
“I’m not as much of an idiot as you are!”
“You sure like grilling me today”
“It’s just what I do” 3 laughed. 
After he downloaded the software and set it up, he started to mock something up in ms paint, aka man’s best friend. Nobody does it like you, my dear, Microsoft paint!
It actually looked better than what 4 did, although the tablet definitely played a part in making it better. 4 noticed it was an advertisement for a job.
“You want to hire?” 4 pointed it out.
“Yeah… I think it would be the solution”
“Huh… wait” 4 inspected it more “That’s… not a lot of money for this kind of job”
3 frowned.
“I… I know but I can’t currently offer more”
“Man.. are you really that broke? You can come stay with me if you wa-”
“No way. Never”
“Okay…”
“You’re really obsessed with me…”
“I… I’m just worried about you… yesterday made me realise how I could easily lose you if I didn’t well… yeah”
3 shut up for a bit.
“... I was afraid you’d say that”
The 2 stayed silent for a bit. Lots of feelings around the 2.
“I’m honest though, man, I care a lot”
“I know already ugh just… yeah… I’m sorry, I should be glad you’re helping me”
4 chuckled.
“I’ll still take constructive criticism, but ONLY if you’re not too mean”
“I can try” 3 laughed.
They continue to perfect the ad. It turned out pretty pathetic in the end but at least it got the message across.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a while since they put the ad out. The more time that passed, the more it felt futile. 3 felt worse than ever, not only did he have a dying business, he also had 4 spending so much money on him and for what? He felt like shit. It was hard to force himself to keep the cafe at least a little clean. And keeping up with daily routines had never been so hard either, as much as it was then. It was killing him from the inside. He wondered if it was even a good idea for him to move there and start this.
However each time he was slowly succumbing to the dark, 4 pulled him out and helped him. He sort of became an unofficial worker in a way. 3 hated that. Not only did he spend so much money on him, he also helped him around without asking for compensation. It made him feel weak, as even this much help didn’t pull him out of it.
It was especially an awful day. He didn’t even try to open the cafe, he just stayed in his room with the lights off. It had been weeks at this point and there still wasn’t anybody coming to help him out… He wished he could’ve done better. But maybe he was just destined to be a miserable shadow of someone better… 4, he was… great. 3 wished he had half the success. The jealousy in his brain had only been growing. He always tried to push it to the back of his mind for the sake of 4, he didn’t want to hurt him. 4 was too great for something like that. He didn’t want to further bury him in his own burden. 
“3? Are you in here?” he heard 4 call out to him from the elevator. He just couldn’t stay away from 3, no matter how many times it seemed reaching out to him wouldn't work out further.
“I’m fine” 3’s voice was muffled by the fact that he was underneath the covers, his face smothered in his pillow.
4 frowned as he walked up to 3’s bed. He sat beside 3. He hesitated for a bit but leaned down to hug 3. 3 didn’t want this… He loved it.
“3, c’mon man I’m…. I’m sure someone will answer your ad soon enough! It’s too early to give up”
“4… listen” 3 sat up, pushing 4 off of himself “I’m… I’ve failed. I don’t get why… you just don’t give up on me at this point. What’s the point of helping me if it doesn’t lead anywhere?”
4 could only stare shocked, not wanting to admit that those words were just uttered to him.
“You can’t say that…”
“I’m right, 4… I think it’s too late for me… just… just let me rot here”
“But… I don’t want to”
“Leave”
“3…”
“Why don’t you get it? It’s futile. I’m not worth it, 4. There’s so many better things and people you can put all this energy into”
“You’re.. you’re…” 4 was lightly shaking, he was really upset by that “You’re more…” tears slipped and streamed down his face.
“Look at you… I’m the reason you’re like this” 3 admitted “It.. genuinely might be better for you”
“WHY do you WANT ME TO STAY AWAY SO BADLY???” 4 got up, upset, crying, accusing, tired. Exhausted. 
“BECAUSE I DON’T DESERVE YOU AT ALL, YOU’RE STRUGGLING BECAUSE OF ME”
“I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP FOR ONCE”
“IT WOULD HELP IF YOU LEFT ME ALONE”
“AND LET YOU ROT??” the tears wouldn’t stop coming, only becoming more intense.
“YES, IT’S WHAT I DESERVE”
“NO! NO! NO! NO IT’S NOT TRUE” he cried, not sure what to do or say anymore. 
“Just… leave… it will be better for the both of us. Make your funny videos”
4 felt almost betrayed, it seemed no matter how hard he pressed, he couldn’t get through 3 anymore. He left, feeling undone in a sense. Yes, the situation had been draining him quite a bit but he did it for his friend, his friend who he really really cared about! A friend he would give the whole world for if he could. And yet, here he was, leaving because he kept failing 3. He felt like shit. Of course when he wanted to be there for 3 fully and help him achieve his dreams, that’s when things would turn this sour. 
He might have gone back to his room now but the inspiration wouldn’t come. The thought that he failed 3 just occupied his mind too much. He knew how bad it was to miss uploads but he just… He couldn’t do this. He decided to release a community post, saying that there would be a bit of a hiatus until he was able to resolve something. He sighed, trying to look for a way to make things better. He wondered if he should really just stop. If 3 was right about the fact that he just needed to stop and leave 3. But the more he stayed away, the more it felt like the whole in his heart, the place 3 took for himself only got bigger. Like a fatal wound.
It had been days since he was told to leave 3 alone. He decided to check on him again, even if by force, he would make something happen. He entered 3’s lair, looking for him but finding nothing. His room looked as messy as ever, nothing was that out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that 3 wasn’t here. 4 started to grow more and more worried. 3 was gone. 3  WAS GONE. WHERE. IS. HE? 
He alerted his friends, who also came to help, though not everyone. Just Meggy, Tari, Saiko, Mario, Luigi and Melony when she wasn’t sleeping. They searched and searched, especially 4, it was almost like he never stopped searching. Day and night he would go to the cafe and look around, often he didn’t even sleep in his room if he would sleep at all. It was the only thing he had of 3 in that way, although it wasn’t as comforting as he wished it to be. But it was more than nothing and he should be grateful. Although it was kind of silly, he looked through the burnt merch, and while he found nothing in tact, he found a plush that was still recognisable. Just seeing it made him cry. He kept it. It turned into a charm for him, not his good luck charm, rather his charm of hope. Hope for the idea that 3 is still out there and that he would be able to find him.
He was reaching the end of his ropes, but then he realised. He could reach out to 1 and 2 for help! Yes, that’s it… He called the 2, scared, they could tell based on his voice that things were NOT good.
“So… you don’t know where he went?” 1 questioned.
“I… yeah… but I… I can still feel that he’s still alive… I know it”
“Alright, we’re gonna teach you a bit of a complex move to help you track down SMG3. You… really need to concentrate. And calm down” 2 looked concerned.
“Yeah, you look super tense” 1 commented, also concerned.
“Sorry sorry… I just really care about him”
“Yeah… He is your partner after all” 2 pat him on the shoulder “it’s only natural”
“He’s also… my friend” 4 could cry all over again. He didn’t think that one day he would be here, feeling dysfunctional at the thought of SMG3 of all people leaving him behind. And yet…
The 2 both grabbed 4’s hand, trying to channel for him. 4 tried to take a deep breath to concentrate. This was for 3… He would do anything for 3. He couldn’t fail him again. 
Suddenly, 4 felt sharp pain in his stomach, which made him fall to the ground.
“Are you okay??” 2 looked worried, 1 was too.
“I’ve never seen something like this happen…”
“Huh?” 4 looked up, shocked at the revelation.
“This shouldn’t be possible” 2 noted as well. This only made 4 more visibly worried.
“Not possible?” 
“Look… I think we should try again” 1 sighed, he knew it had to be done “As much as I’d rather not, I want to try and see… if we can figure it out”
4 nodded, not really fighting it. If it meant they could find 3…
They once again all held hands, and it happened again.
“Hmmm… he only wants you” 1 noted.
“How do you know that?” 2 looked at him, also puzzled.
“I was paying attention to the force stopping us. It was clearly pulling 4 away from us, not the other way around. It only wants you”
“But I- How do I do it on my own?”
“We’ll help from- from here” 2 tried to reassure 4.
“We can’t lose hope yet” 1 also tried.
4 had a headache coming on at this point but he persisted. He wanted to see 3 again and make sure he wouldn’t come to harm’s way ever again.
“Okay… yeah, you’re both right” 4 tried to concentrate. Linking his own hands kind of helped, almost like making a loop link. He closed his eyes. It felt like he was transported in a different place.
He couldn’t see anything much, beside a shadow resembling 3. The shadow knew he was there and that he wanted answers. It didn’t speak directly, only whispers but seemingly not coming from the shadow entity directly. The whispers were incomprehensible yet somehow 4 was still given an image in his head, it burned into his mind. The scenery of a castle that felt impossible. It felt familiar to him in a way. It bared resemblance to Peach’s castle that once stood proud and tall but missing important things, looking like an abandoned version of it. With dark energy emanating from inside.  But he could feel it… 3 was there. Waiting for him. He… He wanted him to come? But… Only him… nobody else… He would have to…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He sat up, he didn’t realise it before but he was put in a bed.
“Hey, you’re finally awake!” 2 said coming beside him.
“What… what happened?”
“The move drained you and you passed out” 1 said, also noticing that 4 woke up “What did you see?”
“It was a castle but… he wants me to go alone”
“What, alone?” 
“That’s just…”
“I have to” 4 stood up from bed “I think… I guess we have a score to settle”
“Are you sure about this?” 1 asked.
“I’m… I am, yeah. What’s the worst that could happen anyways?” 
“A lot can happen”
“At least I’ll see him again” 4 got up and left the 2 SMGs without another word. Both concluded that 4 truly grew desperate. 
4 left on his own, well… Not entirely. He had memes just in case something went wrong. Or if he had to escape a life or death situation. Anything felt possible at this point. He even started to make peace with the idea that he’d get badly hurt anyways. At least he’d be able to see 3 again… maybe with his last breath, he could hold him again… Although that might have sounded a bit too sad. His biggest wish was still to take 3 home and make everything work out again. Turn everything back to normal… What was normal anyways?
He arrived at the entrance of the castle. It was boarded up. He thought for a bit… How should he get through this? Although he didn’t like the trend, he summoned a tik tok, one of those where the food on a plate had bites taken out of it to the beat of a song and then the plate as well. The tiktok managed to chew off the boards to the beat. At least it was useful for once.
He went inside, it was oddly dark, though he could tell it was supposed to resemble Peach’s castle to an extent. but rooms seemed to be missing, which made the main hall even bigger than it was before. The emptiness of it was slowly making 4 anxious… No, he had to keep moving! 
He didn’t have a flashlight with him, which made it a bit hard to explore. But he moved along anyway, concentrating. He could feel 3. He knew he had to be there. He felt infinitely close. As he moved around, he noticed eyes. Eyes were staring at him and only him. More and more of them. Paying attention to every little movement he was making. Not only that, they felt uncomfortably familiar. He didn’t like thinking about it… He didn’t want to go back to the day he lost so much. He felt more and more anxious. 
But the eyes would only stare. But  even if they were only staring, they had him surrounded. It felt like that day, feeling so isolated against your will. Being forced into solitude, something you never wanted in the first place.
He sat down on the ground. He didn’t know what he should do.
“Are you here?” 4 called out softly, his voice shaky. He was way too nervous from this.
He didn’t get an answer back. Only eyes that came closer and closer to him, closing in… Until it was all dark.
It was all dark until a screen was put in front of him. It was bright from being all white, 4 took a bit to adjust to it. There was text on it in black.
“Scared?” it read “Don’t be. It’ll be over soon”
4 looked terrified. Over soon? Will he actually die here? Sure it was a thought that crossed his mind but- but he wasn’t ready for this!
“I just want him back…” 4 sobbed, tears rolling down his face.
“How selfish” the text read. 
“I want him back so I can fix things… make it up to him”
The screen went blank for a bit. It left 4 more nervous.
“3… I uh…” 4 panicked, not knowing what to say “You know- we need you, man. The crew isn’t the same without you! You’re important!”
The screen still did not show an answer. 
“What should I do…” 4 didn’t know anymore.
“Leave” the screen showed simply.
“No… That’s the one thing I can’t do. Not anymore” 4 grabbed the screen, finding something within himself to keep going “I can’t leave without him”
the screen shone bright, covering 4 in brightness, pulling him inside. 
After a whole black room, he was inside a whole white room. Somehow it still felt the exact same, even if he could see now. 
4 thought about what meme could help him in this situation. His mind drew a blank. What was he supposed to do in a blank room? He got up and walked around. Maybe he can find a weakness to this room. He pushed around, finding the edge of the room. He pushed with all his might. Although he wasn’t very strong. Then he got an idea.
He pulled out Beeg.
“Grow, boy!!” 4 commanded him with a big, determined smile.
Now usually Beeg wasn’t one to listen but knowing what was going on, he grew bigger and bigger, pushing at the room more than 4 could ever. 4 cheered him on. 
The room collapsed, they were… they were inside the same room where… Oh. Memories.
Beeg shrunk and went back to 4. 
He walked up to the table in the room. It felt just like the one in his old home. It was furnished similarly, even with the demonic keyboard. He resented looking at it. The fact that he got it made him feel awful all over again. Maybe it really would have been better if he just died there… But 3 saved him. Now it was time for payback. 
“So, what do you want me to do?” he called out. 
He looked around, seeing no one around. Or that was what he thought until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around but he saw no one. He felt confused… Then he could feel a poke at his side. He looked, nothing. Another poke coming from the other side. He looked, still nothing. And then another. Then another. Faster and faster until he was more annoyed than scared or confused and was also starting to feel a bit dizzy. He swore he could hear laughing.
“Hey! This isn’t funny!”
The poke attack suddenly stopped, as the monitor on the table turned on, which caught his attention. It had his editing program opened. The clips, pictures and sounds that were in the library were all too familiar to him.
“Is this some kind of sick joke? You know I couldn’t make that video by myself!” 4 was rather annoyed again. Why did he have to relive this again? He sat in front of the computer but didn’t touch the keyboard.
“And why is this thing here? Do you really expect me to work with it? I… I don’t want to go back to my lowest point”
The keyboard emanated an energy that made 4 feel so scared. He forgot how it can… manipulate you. He was about to reach for it but- he had to stay strong! This could not be the end of his story. Not the end of THEIR story. With 3. He knew… There had to be a way. If 3 saved him before, he had to pay back. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if it was his fault for 3 being gone. 
He grabbed the keyboard and broke it in half. It screamed in its eldritch ways, releasing black blood. There was a lot of it. The monitor turned off.
“You’re not getting me like this! I don’t want a perfect video, I want you!”
4 stopped for a second. Only after saying it did he realise how odd that sounded. But he meant it. No matter how uh… not so straight it sounded.
He got up, looking around the room. He couldn’t wait for whatever entity was around to mess around with him even more.
He noticed a camera following his movement. He got close to the camera, trying to see if he could find a source or reason for it. 
“You think I’m gonna feel shame for being broadcasted?” the camera turned around, instead showing footage it recorded. It had a lot of 3’s rants to himself. How many times he was stuck being the loser out of the 2 of them. How even when they turn out to be friends, he got the shorter end of it all. How everything around him only seemed to fall apart. Especially… when he and 4 got even closer. 4 felt shocked. He never knew he could feel this much emotional pain but… here he was… Being shown that he was only a source of failure for 3. 
The screen of the camera turned off after it finished showing everything.
4 didn’t know what to do with himself. He… He didn’t know he hurt 3 so much. He felt so miserable. And conflicted, would it really be best for them to… part ways? 
He stared at the turned off camera, trying to just… process everything.
The camera turned on again, although the screen was black but something seemed to move closer, like a dark shape, the dark shape reached out, in the form of a hand. 4 panicked and quickly backed away from the camera. The room went dark on the side of the camera, but the figure, although dark, was still noticeable through the dark. Especially for those red eyes. Those iconic red eyes… this was no doubt 3. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” 4 cried. 
“I did now” 3 spoke, his voice echoey, coming from all directions.
“What… What happened to you?” 4 was so scared. So devastated.
“I embraced the shadows… If you don’t fit anywhere else, why leave?”
4 didn’t know what to say, all he could do was cry.
“I wish I could’ve been there for you more, 3”
“You only would’ve ruined things more”
“But-”
“Now leave… or I’ll do something awful”
“You-” 4 was having none of that “I… I’m standing by what I said. I’m not leaving without you”
“Well, if you say so” 3 walked up to him, grabbing his hand. It was cold… It felt uncomfortable.
“Huh- What happened to you? Why… is your hand so cold?”
“What, you miss soft SMG3’s warm little hand or something? You miss when I held back?”
“What- What are you saying?”
“I’ve always felt miserable. This” he held his hand, intertwined with 4’s hand “Has made my life hell”
“Our… Guardian link?”
“Exactly” 3 squeezed 4’s hand but it wasn’t comfortable. Somehow there was still something behind it. Something that gave 4 hope.
“What?”
“Well, it’s something we have to live with, of course it’s not gonna always be a great time! It doesn’t mean you need to destroy the world over it”
“It can be broken”
“Our link can be destroyed and I know how to do it”
“WHAT??”
“I CAN FINALLY BREAK AWAY FROM YOU”
“DO YOU REALLY HATE ME THIS MUCH???”
“THE OPPOSITE, YOU IDIOT”
“What..?”
“This link… This link gave me feelings I never wanted. I never wanted to feel nice about being close to you. It made me feel awful. Each fucking time. Yet I let you in, because this stupid fucking link made me weak about it. This stupid guardian link is at fault…”
3 gripped on 4’s hand even harder.
“3… no if- if you destroyed it- WE DON’T KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN, THIS IS SO SELFISH OF YOU”
“WELL FUCK, LET ME BE SELFISH SOMETIMES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT”
Some sort of red-black energy appeared around the 2, and familiar marks appeared on 3. The energy 4 could feel was familiar too… and scary.
“Anti meme energy..? Where-”
“You’re right” 3 laughed “In the end it’s truly the answer to all my misery!”
“No! 3! This is too dangerous! What if you got hurt??”
“I’ll take the risk!”
slowly, the marks appeared on 4 too. 3 was too strong… holding him back took everything in 4 and it still wasn’t enough.
The moment the link between the 2 was severed. It felt like 4 died. He didn’t but it felt like he did. Something beautiful inside him was gone now. the marks turned black, his hand was too.
He could barely stand, falling on his ass.
3 didn’t seem better. Even if he had the power of whoever was on his side now, it still didn’t change the fact that he got rid of something in himself that was deeply inherent to him. 
The 2 just laid there, facing each other. The pain they felt made it too hard to move. 
The emptiness 4 felt was unbearable. Even if he was able to get up, he didn’t know what he would do. He really didn’t anymore. He wondered if this was meant to happen.
3 took a while himself, he was clearly hurt, even when he got up. He moved slowly, pain in every step he took. He didn’t dare look 4’s way. He was wondering if it was only the pain or if he actually began to regret what he had done. He didn’t feel like figuring it out, so he left the room, leaving 4 by himself. 
4 just laid there. Maybe he should just… not do anything… What was it worth anymore?
He closed his eyes, thinking about everything that happened in his life. All the memories, friends he made. All the time when he thought he made amends with 3, only seemingly repeatedly stabbing him in the back instead. Honestly, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself anyways knowing that he did that. Maybe he was being dramatic but… Whatever.
It felt like an eternity when he heard commotion from outside. He didn’t really care to check. He kind of embraced death at this point.
“4!! SMG4” he heard a voice he did not care to check.
“OH NO!” another voice came right beside him “I think he’s still alive- let’s take him back”
He was too tired to protest, even if he didn’t want to go.
The journey home felt kind of dull. Knowing what 3 did, it just… it broke him. He felt like it wasn’t only their link… that even disregarding that, in general the fact that 3 chose to depart from him hurt him in many other ways. He… really came to like him over the years. Seeing how he became so selfless, so helpful, so amazing too… 4 still kind of felt bad that 3 couldn’t see that about himself. He wished he was less stubborn and told him more. Though he was sure that wouldn’t have changed a thing anyways. But still, he wished he could tell 3 more that he found him so amazing in ways he never did with anyone else… he… he loved him.
4 suddenly shot up, the realisation hitting him like a truck.
“Woa-” Meggy was one of the ones who carried him, momentarily losing balance from 4’s sudden movement.
Mario was on his other side, he seemed to take 4’s stupidity better. One could say he was used to 4’s antics.
4 took a bit to catch his breath as they all stopped.
“Are you okay?” Tari came running to him.
“I think I love him” was all 4 could say before starting to cry. Truly, today wasn’t his day. Lots of tears.
“As in… SMG3?” Meggy asked.
“Yeah…” 4 looked down.
Mario patted him on the back.
“Mario knew you would realise at some point”
“About time, these last weeks have been ridiculous” Clench came out too. He was rather annoyed with the 2 at this point.
“It’s not that unexpected, yeah” Meggy chuckled.
A lot of the others held a similar reaction, no one seemed surprised.
4 didn’t look too happy though.
“He left… he left me there” 4 spoke again, looking up at the sky. He still felt way too empty.
“What happened anyways?” Tari asked.
“He…” 4 tried holding back the tears. Not very successfully at that. “I… I’ll need to discuss this later with SMG1 and 2…”
Everyone left him alone. The rest of the road back home was rather gloomy. 4 was starting to feel like it wasn’t only him who felt 3’s painful absence. 
They helped him in his room to rest for a bit. After a while, 1 and 2 came into his room.
“We heard you wanted to speak with us” 1 said.
“Yeah… It’s bad”
“We could tell based on your black scars” 2 commented, pointing at how bad his face looked.
“He… He broke our link”
They both looked at him shocked, then at each other. The reaction made 4 feel even worse.
“That’s… how did he…”
“With… anti meme energy… I don’t know how he got it but… I have a bad feeling about this in general”
“Tell us everything” 1 had a determined look. 
4 proceeded to tell them about everything. The way he was approached by 3, the weird dark change of his appearance, his comment of becoming one with the shadows. It seemed to leave both 1 and 2 speechless.
“Whoever is behind this” 1 spoke “They know enough to be clearly dangerous”
“Do you… Do you think I could mend my link with 3?” 4 looked up at the ceiling. He found that not looking at people made it easier to not cry.
“We… don’t know” 2 sighed. Neither of them had an idea.
“We’ve never seen anything like this happen before… we can try to look around for information to see if we can find something”
“It’s only natural… especially because the world is weaker without your link”
4 looked at them, smiling softly.
“Thanks, I really appreciate that”
“It is?”
“Everyone is able to feel it” 2 said.
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s one of the pillars of a stable universe. Whoever told 3 how to break it must have done it to… oh no, 1, we should start searching right away!” the 2 ran out in a hurry. 
4 chuckled dryly at that. It really wasn’t funny to him, he just found it kind of ironic in a way. Destroying 3’s life meant he’d also destroy the world… It was kind of fitting how especially now, 3 felt like the whole world for him. He wished he knew earlier so at least he could’ve told him before they parted ways like that. 
~~~
4 didn’t do much for a few days. He spent the day coping. Healing. He could move around better after a while but his mental state didn’t get better. He couldn’t get 3 out of his mind. He thought that their link being gone meant that the opposite of this would happen but no. His friends tried to cheer him up with memes they would send him. Sure they got a chuckle out of him but these weren’t nearly enough to stop his sadness. 
He was watching his own videos where 3 appeared when 1 and 2 came in his room.
“WE FOUND SOMETHING” 2 jumped through the door.
“Yeah?” 4 asked, trying to put on a smile.
“Yes! Your connection isn’t necessarily lost forever!”
“R– Really??” 4 looked at them with colour appearing in his eyes. There’s a way after all!
“Yes- considering it’s still fresh, and you don’t seem to care any less, there could still be a way. But the catch… 3 has to want it too”
“Huh…” 4 thought out loud “I mean, that makes sense… I wonder if he would…”
“We’ll at least try our best to convince him”
“Right right! Even though I was told I ruined his life” 4 looked away. He still didn’t know what to do with all his feelings about that.
“Ruined his life?” 2 questioned.
“He said that… I only ever seemed to make his life worse… and that I only made things worse when I helped him”
The 2 looked at each other then back at 4.
“What do you exactly mean by this?”
“Uh… He said that his businesses always seemed to fail around me, no matter how much he tried, and that things that would ruin him further… connected right back to me”
The 2 shared another look.
“Now… don’t panic but” 1 started.
“Someone was disrupting your link!” 2 finished 1’s thought.
“Huh?”
“It sounds like it. As we were looking at all the information we could find on links, we found that in certain ways, outside people can interact with links that are not theirs.That’s how we also tried to help you find 3 but we were blocked out by some force. And it’s not a meme guardian exclusive thing. So… Someone must have got in and… yeah”
4 looked shocked.
“So… It’s not my fault?”
“No, it’s not” they both comforted him.
This actually managed to make him feel better. Finally, something that could help him fix everything. Even if it will take a while.
“I was thinking… can you guys… still train me, even if alone? I… want to be stronger when I see him again. Because I’m sure I will… It can’t end like this”
Both nodded.
“We won’t go easy on you” 2 joked.
“Better not” 4 laughed.
The 3 of them left to train that day, 4 trained until he was exhausted. He was glad to push himself considering how he had been for the last few days. He felt a little more free now. Just you wait, 3…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been a week since he really started training again. It was actually something that managed to make him feel better. He was wondering where 3 was at this point. On what point of the World he could’ve been. When he wasn’t able to sleep, he would look at places where he could be in. Making a list…
His cafe - he wasn’t
Internet graveyard - he wasn’t 
That castle where he severed their link - he wasn’t
Peach’s castle - he wasn’t
Any of the Anti cast’s own living places - he wasn’t 
Right by his side  - 4 wished he was
His list only got longer with all the wrong answers. Just yesterday, they put out an announcement that if anyone sees any trace of 3, they should alert the crew. Though 4 thought of it as a bit hopeless. 
He could only take his mind off it all with training. His days would be spent either training or sleeping. He left very little time for anything else. It started to worry the others, he realised as well but he just couldn’t stop. Not being whole can feel so devastating.
And he didn’t take it well in a more and more unhealthy way. He didn’t show it to anyone else, but he kept the burnt SMG3 plushie he found from the fire incident. From a beacon of hope, it went to something he would sleep with. It was starting to feel like he would never be able to sleep without it. He didn’t feel much shame in it anymore but he treasured it too much to just show it to anyone else. He needed to protect it at all costs. Sometimes he would talk to it, pretending like it was 3. Telling it so much. Telling everything that was inside his heart, all he wished he could actually tell 3. He truly felt like he reached a new low.
If that wasn’t already bad enough, he started having nightmares too.
Nightmares where he’d follow 3 but kept losing him. Nightmares that seemed to have a different face appear inside them as well. One he did not recognise yet felt familiar… Having a familiar painful feeling. He hated seeing the face. He would many times try to kill the figure but it felt as though they could read his mind, as they dodged his every move with a wide grin. But each time.. He would get closer… Surroundings would become clearer.
One time, it got so clear… He got an insane idea.
He searched up the place he saw… It was a real place. An abandoned studio. Weirdly fitting in a way.
“So, you want to go there because you dreamed about it?” Meggy asked. Some of the gang was gathered there.
“This entity’s influence must be strong if you’re getting dreams like that” 1 believed him. He had really no reason to lie.
“Wait, you believe him?”
“Yes, it is plausible. We already established someone interfered with their connection”
“So it could be that guy! And now they’re taunting 4!” 2 excitedly finished the thought.
4 smiled at the 2 of them.
“Thanks, guys. But yes… I want to go there. I need to… figure out what’s exactly happening”
“And save 3” Tari came up to him as well, reassuring him.
“Especially save 3” 4 smiled at her.
With the newfound determination, the squad, even with 1 and 2 included, headed for the studio building.
The building itself felt more than abandoned in a way. It looked like something went down inside there, a struggle of shorts. Walking in, they noticed the walls covered in gunshots, the place more dusty than would be usual for a place like this. And in some places, a disturbing amount of dried blood was spilled. What must have happened to this place was definitely sudden, quick and gruesome. Just staying in there made them all feel bad for the ex workers. They split up, searching the rooms in smaller groups since it wasn’t exactly a small building. 
4 was searching with 1 and 2. 4 tried to push on even into darker rooms. Although he didn’t have the link to help anymore, he listened to  3… his words burned into his brain. So he paid attention to the darkest places, not letting the shadows go unaddressed, even if it got increasingly scary. 4 kind of didn’t care about that at this point. He had already lost too much to care, though he didn’t exactly tell this to his friends. It felt a bit selfish to him but it was genuinely feeling like there wasn’t much to live for without 3. 
It was starting to feel kind of hopeless until a shadow looked weird. He looked at it, suspicions forming in his brain. He reached out but the shadow grabbed him first.
Before 1 or 2 were able to react, 4 was already gone, being pulled into the shadows.
4 was thrown  back into a dark room that felt all too familiar at this point. In front of him was 3, still as shadowed as ever. At least they could see each other. They stared for a bit, both trying to see what the other one was feeling. 3 pulled 4 closer, in a kind of threatening way, which felt weird and sudden. Something in 4 made him wonder if he was perhaps influenced by something to do that.
“I told you to stay away”
4 sighed, a smile appearing on his face, which weirded 3 out.
“It’s impossible”
“No it’s not just-” he looked away, seemingly thinking but it felt more than that.
“...Let’s talk” 4 had a soft gaze on 3. If he had to die, he didn’t want to spend his last moments arguing with 3.
“We… We already had that… you should go… I did it for you as well”
4 still kept the calmness but the light eye twitch gave away that he didn’t like what he was hearing.
“It wasn’t our fault actually”
3 looked at him shocked. Then thought for a bit.
“I mean I… didn’t mean to make you feel like you… I know that you didn’t ACTUALLY mean to ruin me-”
“No no, you don’t understand, we basically got hacked”
“Hacked? What the hell you mean-” 3 questioned but got stopped by immense pain as he grabbed for his head groaning.
“Oh no, are you okay?” 4 immediately jumped beside him, with a hand on his upper back for support.
“How can I believe you?” 3 looked at him weakly.
“We… actually found out outside forces can… influence guardian links”
3 took a bit to take that in, looking away from 4, seemingly staring into the dark. Very intensely at that. He looked back at 4, pretty pissed.
“So someone framed you?” he looked like he was about to blow up.
“We think so…”
“So I… I” 3’s face softened. 
4 knew what he felt, he hugged 3. He didn’t resist. Slowly, 3 leaned into 4’s touch.
“You know… it’s funny” 3 spoke again “I thought without the link if you came after me again… that I could just end you as soon as I saw you… but I…” he once again felt pain so he had to stop.
“3!!” 
“It’s… We… uh” 3 looked weak.
“We’ll help you, don’t worry! The others are here too… we… we will help, man!”
3 couldn’t help but smile at 4, even through the pain.
“But I already ruined it… I.. I did that to you… I was told how to do it and I…”
“I still care about you”
3 looked at him, something in him breaking with tears rolling down his face.
“How can you?”
“We… We’re friends… we’ve been through a lot… you think I’m gonna let you go when you once risked your life to save me? You didn’t need to. You could have left me to my perfect video but you didn’t. Didn’t it feel like I betrayed you? But you came back either way.”
“That… That’s true”
“It’s… just another thing I love about you, 3”
The word choice made 3 a little flustered. 4 chuckled at that.
“You can’t just say sappy shit like that”
“You think I don’t mean it or something?”
“No no… It’s obvious you do, don’t worry”
“But uhm genuinely I’ve… I’ve been thinking and-”
And just as soon as 4 thought maybe he could tell 3- 3 got grabbed by a hand before not seen. However at this point it was familiar to him. He stood up and went right after, it was no use though. 4 didn’t lose hope yet. He was more angry right now if anything.
“NOT EVEN GONNA LET ME TELL HIM I LOVE HIM??” 4 called out “WELL THEN DO IT FOR ME PLEASE, BITCH”
The figure he had been seeing in his dreams came out of the shadows. Much clearer now, he could still see their wide, unfeeling smile. He didn’t know a TV screen headed guy could be such a piece of shit.
“You’re a feisty one”
“YOU”
“Ah, what, came back because you weren’t satisfied with the service? Sorry, no refunds!”
They started to walk away but 4 grabbed them.
“SERVICE??”
“The keyboard”
4 stopped.
“The…keyboard…?”
Then he realised.
“And it’s not like I even forced it on you” they laughed “You were the one who chose to buy it. Even with SMG3, I didn’t force him! HE joined me HIMSELF and-”
“You think I’m gonna let you go with what you did?” 
They laughed.
“No… And that’s what I want!” the words scared 4 “With even all your friends! Such a great deal”
“WHAT are you?”
“I’m… oh there’s no fun in that, I’m only here to make a great show!”
“I don’t know if you noticed but I’m the show runner here!”
“It looked like you needed some help”
4 tried to punch them but then he was gone from the dark, right back beside 1 and 2.
“4!!! 4, you’re back!!” both hurried there beside him.
“Yes… I am'' 4 didn’t lose his anger a single bit. Those were the words of someone who is truly despicable. He only wanted to kill them more now. 
They only got one more calm moment before the building shook beneath them. It was loud, almost like the building was alive. 
“Oh no! We need to get out of here” 1 panicked, 2 and 4 followed behind, although 4 did so reluctantly. He knew 3 was in here. He didn’t want him gone.
Everyone evacuated. 4 stared at the building going down, he couldn’t just stand there, he had to run back, even if it would take him away as well.
He searched everywhere. Maybe it was the TV guy letting their guard down, but he was actually able to spot 3 in the real world now. He was still covered in those shadows though.
“3!!!” he cried out, running for the other who only then noticed him.
“4, you should get out of here”
“Not without you”
“Then we might not be able to get out…”
“I’ll… rather be going away with you than live knowing you died”
“You know- you’re pretty attached as well, even without the…” 3 looked away then back 4. He couldn’t help but smile at 4. It felt kind of nice in the end. It was easier to admit now.
“That’s cuz I love you” 4 reciprocated the smile.
3 looked away again, rather flustered at the words. But there was still a smile visible on his face.
“Like um… as in? Like that? Fuck, I’m sounding so stupid right now” 3 laughed at his own incompetence.
“Yeah uh… are you okay with that?” 4 returned the awkward laugh.
3 chuckled before grabbing 4’s face.
“What do you think, stupid?”
“I’m… glad” 
They both leaned in, just about at the same time. The kiss came naturally. But it was so much more than that. They pulled each other close, it all just felt… perfect. Complete. So complete, as the scar on both of their faces started glowing. They didn’t know when they linked hands but with both hands held, they could see white strings appear, glowing with immense power, more and more appearing, connecting the 2.
The sight mesmerised both so much, they pulled in for another kiss, which only made the light stronger, ridding 3 fully of his corruption.
The light grew so big, like an explosion. An explosion of so much emotion before unspoken.
The light grew so big, the crew outside noticed.
“They did it!” 2 jumped up “That’s a lot of meme guardian energy”
“Right on” 1 laughed “You know, I’m proud of them… they came so far”
“They really did” Meggy joined the 2.
“Will they be able to get out though?” Tari was concerned.
But then the light only grew larger and faster at that, basically taking in the whole building. It was strong enough to knock everyone on their asses.
As the light dissipated, the 2 hovered up from all the debris. Both looked unharmed, their hands linked.
Everyone came up to hug them. It had been a while since they had such a big and emotional hug.
“We’re so glad you 2 are safe”
“I can’t believe you actually made it out”
“You guys better not do anything this reckless ever again”
These were some comments the 2 received. But they were happy they made it out, made it out alive and together. There were a lot of things unanswered but none of that mattered now. At least not for now.
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thegurlwhoisntthere · 2 years
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Okay, HTTYD fandom I’m coming for you.
I want an au where the gang were always friends. Like, they grew up to be just as tight-nit as they are in RTTE, but because of reasons they hide the fact that they’re friends with Hiccup from the adults. Why do I think this could work?
Well:
Hiccup by nature is very forgiving, so when all his friends come to him and say they can’t be friends in public because of one reason or another, he sympathizes, as long as they’re still friends, he doesn’t really care.
Snotlout is the first in the group to start drifting away, and they all ask him why
Spitelout doesn’t like that his son is hanging around Hiccup when he’s so unviking-like
He pressures Snotlout to cut ties with his cousin and to start putting him down for not living up to “what he should”
This backfires
Baby-lout hasn’t yet had the time to really internalize his father’s teachings, so when his friends ask, he tearfully tells them
Most of the group is furious, but Hiccup understands
If it had just been up to him the group probably would’ve disbanded then and there
Lucky for him it wasn’t
They figure that if Spitelout doesn’t want them to friends then they won’t… in public
In private is a different story
In public they treat it like a game, to taunt each other and be as sarcastic as possible
But when they’re alone they let their guard down
The next one to go, surprisingly, is Astrid
After her uncle died her family’s reputation takes a dive
At first, the fact that she’s friends with the chief’s son is a good thing, but as time goes on and he doesn’t grow, her parents start getting pressure, and Astrid, not being as young anymore, feels it, too
Astrid’s extremely conflicted, because on the one hand she doesn’t want to abandon Hiccup, let alone insult him in front of the village like Snotlout
But on the other, she needs to restore her family’s honor
So they come up with Astrid’s cover: in public she���ll distance herself from all of them, working hard to be a shield-maiden, only being a part of the group in an orbit-sort of way
She grows into ignoring Hiccup in public because if she doesn’t she’s going to take the head off the next person who insults him
For Fishlegs and the Twins, there’s no specific moment that they start to distance themselves in public
Overtime, the twins become more destructive and so does Hiccup, so being seen together is a no-go
Fishlegs is growing evermore into the scholar and is completely uninterested in fighting, to the point where, if it wasn’t for his stature, he’d be in the same boat as Hiccup (if less magnified, because he’s not the Chief’s son)
So they all “grow apart” into the roles we see in the first movie, with some noticeable differences
They sit together in the great hall, but to anyone casually observing Hiccup’s excluded from the conversation
In actuality, Hiccup and Fishlegs came up with their own little version of sign language which Astrid forced everyone to learn, though some are more fluent than others (Tuffnut is surprising good at it, but Snotlout’s lucky to understand a full sentence)
Astrid still trains extra in the forest, but usually you can find the rest of the group somewhere nearby doing their own thing, if they’re not needed elsewhere
Similarly, because they hang out around her while she trains, she manages to bully at least Hiccup and Fishlegs into being at least passable with one weapon (sword and hammer)
Snotlout still flirts with Astrid, but it’s far more joking and well timed than in canon (of course he still has a crush on her, she’s Astrid, but he also flirts with her to escape that weird fluttery feeling he gets when Fishlegs gets excited about the book he’s reading)
The twins outward behavior doesn’t change as much as their friends’ perception of them
The group is very aware that the twins are far smarter and more capable than they let on, and are aware that a lot of their chaos is carefully planned and not just violent stupidity like the rest of the village might assume
The gang even joins in a lot, the twins made them far more mischievous than they let anyone know
Due to the closeness to Astrid, Ruffnut is far more willing to be serious about training and other things, even if she still tries to downplay it
In reverse, Astrid is far more willing to chill the fuck out and have some fun, let her creativity take the lead, even if she’s very strict about keeping a mask in public
This is getting really long and repetitive so I’m just going to leave a few more thoughts
Fishlegs is far more confident and courageous because of his friends, but he’s still skittish in public
Hiccup is far less he’ll-bent on proving himself, but he’s still a sarcastic insane inventor so the results are pretty much the same he’s just happier (less lonely and lacking self-esteem)
Snotlout and Astrid are more comfortable with their emotions
Snotlout has less self-image problems (still-there though, fuck Spitelout)
When Hiccup says he shot down a Night Fury, they can tell he’s telling the truth, but they don’t have time to search with him that day, so he still meets Toothless the same
They plan to work together come dragon training, but Toothless kinda throws a wrench in that plan
Hiccup tries to keep him secret, but they know him, so when the Zippleback thing happens, he stands no chance
I have a lot more ideas but this so long
Just. Let them be friends damn it
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itzrafee · 6 months
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A thing on Uran and Helena in Pluto
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Okay a short little thing on Pluto. Uran and Helena are my absolute favourite characters in Pluto. Urasawa has always had amazing side characters, from Mr. Rosso in Monster to Lee Harvey Oswald and Jackie in Billy Bat to God in 20th Century Boys, but very few have tied off the emotional ends of the story like Uran and Helena.
Maybe I'm projecting here but much like myself I feel like Urasawa is absolutely obsessed with Frankenstein. And he recognizes the influence Frankenstein has on Dr. Umataro Tenma. Or at the very least, the similarities between the two. And so when he made the protagonist of one of his most popular works Monster, Dr Kenzo Tenma, he solidified that connection. Kenzo Tenma calls back to Victor Frankenstein needing to end his creation while also calling back to Japan's other famous Tenma, thus making the connection explicit. Another throughline between the three of them is that all three are father figures to their creations and have obligations to their children, though all three have varying levels of success with them.
I've only read what I like to call Urasawa's "Core Four", conspiracy minded thrillers that are essentially road trips featuring usually two main protagonists that we see the world through, Monster, 20th Century Boys, Pluto and Billy Bat. Though I still haven't caught up to Asadora and that could still possibly fit this mold, Urasawa's Core Four share a lot of themes and ideas. One of the most important being the responsibility for one's creations, whether it was Kenji Endo and the Book of Prophecy or Kevin Yamagata and Billy Bat or Dr. Kenzo Tenma and Johan, all of his protagonists could arguably be seen as someone with the need to take up the responsibility of their creations. So where do the protagonists of Pluto fit in there? That's where Uran and Helena come in.
But first, we should take a look at Pluto's themes. While I could be wrong, at a cursory glance, I feel like the general consensus towards it's themes is that it's about hatred. I don't really think that's what it is as I feel like Urasawa is more trying to show us what it is to be human and what it is to be alive. And in that, he has a hidden protagonist in Pluto. Someone who's influence snakes through the plot and isn't seen much, but without who the story's themes would remain incomplete. Pluto tackles what it is to be alive through many things, such as memory, sadness, grief, hatred, love and parenthood. But none of that works without the realization by Tenma of his own mistakes. And Uran and Helena bookend these revelations and are absolutley key to understanding that.
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In my favourite chapter of the series, Chapter 37, Uran goes from person to person as she finds a way to deal with her grief and eventually comes across Tobio's grave, Tenma having left recently. It's an absolutely beautiful chapter that shows Uran's humanity and Urasawa's love for sharing these kind and soft moments. But it also sheds a light on Tenma as Uran realizes someone who was grieving has just left. Without saying much at all we realize that Tenma has finally realized his mistakes. In the process of grieving one son, he lost the other. While remembering Tobio, he let Atom go. His grief towards Tobio is clear in the following chapter, Chapter 38. All of the things he wanted Atom to be; Tobio come back to life, Tobio's ghost punishing him, Atom rejected. And Tenma could only see that rejection, and not what he had, another son.
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Uran shows us very clearly what Pluto, the story, is. It's a chapter in their lives. And we've come into a story nearing the end for Tenma. And it's through the humanity of two absolutely amazing characters in their own right, Uran and Helena, that we are able to so fully understand Tenma. Despite being robots, these two characters are the most alive of everyone. They love fully and freely and are catalysts of change. Uran's vibrant and full of life in a way that really sticks out. And Helena has such depth that it's evident in every scene she's in. She's not pointed out to be made by any famous scientist so all the life she has is her own. These two represent the life of robot's more than any other characters in the series.
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So it's that much more poignant when Helena finally breaks down after putting on such a strong front of everybody. Grief intersects and she brings out Tenma's sadness as well. They've both been putting up such strong fronts that it's heartbreaking to see them collapse. It completes Tenma's growth and strikes a heartbreaking contrast between the two. Tenma became the way he is through the loss of his son whereas Helena doesn't even get to remember her own loss. It makes you wonder if the grief for her and Geischt's child compounds her sorrow too.
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Without these two and their grief, a large part of Pluto becomes inaccessible. Pluto is largely about death so when two characters come in who've never had a hand in the grim work of taking life, you see the world through a lens that's absolutely crucial in order to fully connect with all of the character's and their situations. Death and Grief has scarred the characters in Pluto. Time and time again they've chosen the worst path. They've chosen revenge and hatred. But Uran and Helena are different. Without them, the story is incomplete. They provide an alternative. They provide the path towards healing.
im sorry for this one:
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pearlywritings · 10 months
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In father's embrace
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synopsis: Genshin men as dads and what your family dynamic is like.
pairings: Ayato, Thoma, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Tighnari x fem!reader (separately)
tw: fluff, established relationship, mentions of pregnancy
word count: 7.2k words
a/n: I really wanted to write Diluc and Kaeya, but realized that I can't create something new since I already have a family AU with them. Here's the materlist's link if you are interested! Also you can find the HSR version of this here!
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Ayato 
This man is a dad of twins - a boy and a girl. Both babies took more in their mom’s appearance, but have his soft violet eyes and honestly? This man adores you, his wife, so when he sees your kids develop more and more of your features as they grow - his heart can’t be fuller.
He is a fun and patient dad - he will teach them anything they ask him to, and offer guidance, yet still leaving space for them to learn some on their own. He also enjoys when they sneak into his study during his working hours (because mom decided to take a nap, and Thoma went out grocery shopping, and they are so-so boooooored), letting them wander around the room for the nth time, touching all the trophies and scrolls he has there (all the things that could be of danger were long removed), and when they eventually feel sleepy, crawl closer to him to nap, resting their heads on his thighs while he stays in his kneeling position, writing.
Even if they look a lot like you, it’s so easy to tell that they are his kids - the mischief babbling in their little bodies is untamable for the longest time, and Ayato loves it. Sure, sometimes it is a headache, and mostly for you, but at least they didn’t develop strange tastes in food like their father. More than once they used their similar looks to play pranks on the staff members or their parents, dressing in each other’s clothes and going about their day like that. What does their father think of it? Two words - “promising” and “entertaining”.
They are also their aunt’s absolute delight. Ayaka adores them, showering the two with gifts and attention. And even though she and Ayato are not twins like her niece and nephew - she still feels warmly nostalgic whenever she witnesses their interactions.
Best aunt - thanks to her Vision the twins experienced the joy of ice skating, lessons of etiquette became more fun (though still effective), more days off were granted to her brother to spend time with his family (she practically started stealing his paperwork at some point to fulfill it on her own). She and Thoma are making your life so much easier and for the first time Ayato truly feels at peace and like he is living his life at its fullest. The quiet rooms of the Kamisato Estate are finally filled with joyous laughter and summer warm happiness - his kids are bringing back the light to the gloomily strict atmosphere of the family house.
But sometimes the two only add the workload to his plate in the most wild ways possible.
Ayato closely observes one of his kids - presumably the son - as both the parent and the child are sitting in the room dedicated to the twins’ studying. They have the best tutors Inazuma could provide and both showed exceptional results in all their classes. Even if one of them failed an examination on the first try - the second one was always a success. That was until you walked in on your daughter rewriting her history test, only to discover your son in her place, with his sister’s clothes and blue locks tied in her manner. And that’s when the truth came to light.
Honestly it was no surprise their teachers never suspected anything - only four people could tell the twins apart easily - you, Ayato, Ayaka and Thoma, though the latter had trouble with that occasionally, and your children made sure to speak as similar as possible once the idea of replacing each other appeared. Of which you also learned that day Ayato and you sat them down and urged to tell you everything. The scolding about cheating from you and a lecture from Ayato on the topic of how important it is to do as good as you can on your own were provided, but in the end you just hugged them and said that you do not expect them to be perfect in everything, which left the kids relieved.
But from then on Ayato has been in charge of supervising the twins during their exam retakes. Just like today.
“Public diplomacy, national security, diplomatic etiquette, hm…” the head of the Kamisato clan skips across the paper with questions the tutor gave him beforehand on the latest topic of international relationships. He notices how his child doesn’t fidget and doesn’t even let the eyes run across the room - the straight posture and neutral expression etched on a thirteen-year old’s face is admirable. But he does note the uncharacteristic stiffness. Along with another major thing.
“Princess, where is your brother?”
Eyes widen slightly, but that’s enough to prove that he is correct. He watches his daughter hesitate for a moment, though there is no doubt in his mind that neither of his children would ever lie to him or their mother. And the defeated sigh shows as much.
“Sorry, father,” the girl lowers her gaze in apology. Fishing a hairpin from behind her brother’s kimono lapel, she makes quick work of collecting her hair. Then she looks into his eyes again.
“He is in my room, pretending to be me and probably stressing. Before you ask why we decided to switch - he begged me to.” “Oh?” Ayato puts the papers to the side and rests his chin on an open palm. “Could you please elaborate?” “Remember how we went to the Kujo residence for a playdate?” Her father hums, already getting a vague understanding of what’s going on. “And when we accidentally overheard how the oldest son was being scolded by his father for not doing enough in his studies. And brother got it into his head that if he keeps failing not once but more times, you are going to be disappointed in him. I know he studied for this retake, I helped him with that, but at the last moment he got anxious, and, well, here I am. Like all those years ago.”
“I see,” the man in front of her nods, and she doesn’t see any negative emotion painted on his face. Quite the contrary, he smiles.
“Be a dear, go get your brother and come back together. Change the clothes though. Oh, and tell him I am not mad, okay?” “Okay, father,” she mirrors his smile and relief flashes in her eyes - the girl truly cares for her twin, and that warms Ayato’s heart.
When half an hour later both arrive there is already a table served with tea and sweets, and the head of the Kamisato family immediately invites them to take their seats. His daughter looks calm, which can’t be said about his son - the boy has the most miserable look on his face, holding onto his sister’s hand and staring at the surface of the tea in his cup. Ayato decides to speak first.
“Kujo family is the last people one should take as an example,” his firm, yet reassuring tone makes his son glance at him. “Sure, they are respected, but their methods are too old-fashioned, and the way they treat their children is no good. Do you understand, little blossoms?”
They nod and even if Ayato doesn’t see it, he knows they squeeze each other’s hand.
“You better do, because neither me nor your mother will ever push you to the point of devastation. In studies as well,” the boy bites his lip. “I am serious. I will not be disappointed in either of you if you have to retake one test again and again. Striking for perfection is a good goal, but not when you torture yourself physically and emotionally to achieve it.”
“But father…” his son lifts his eyes and stares right into Ayato’s and it shoots right through his chest how vulnerable the kid looks. “You are perfect. And I don’t want to let you down…” “Me? Perfect? Oh, dear,” the man can’t hold a light laugh back. “Ask your mother and she’ll prove you so wrong, trust me. And none of you is letting me down - you should be proud of yourselves. At such young age you both show bright talents and knowledge - and it’s okay if it’s not the case for every possible field of studies. This is general education, later you’ll get more practice to catch up, or concentrate on your strongest abilities. Listen,” he addresses his son specifically, and the boy cocks his head to the side a little, “be more confident and trust your sister if she insists you are doing well. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and come to me if you feel unsure, alright?”
The boy glances down, letting the words sink in, and Ayato patiently waits. In his mind he admits that it's his oversight - he should've noticed earlier that one of his kids has been struggling. Now he will make sure to change that.
Eventually his son deeply sighs and looks at the adult in front of him with trust reflecting in those pretty eyes.
“Alright,” he nods with a small smile lifting the corners of his lips. Slowly standing up and letting go of his twin’s hand, he rounds the table and steps right into Ayato’s outstretched arms, wrapping his own around the man’s neck.
“Thank you, father,” he whispers right before burying his face into haori-clad shoulder. “I love you so much.”
And the man smiles, whispering those words back and soothingly patting his back, as the daughter shows him thumbs up with the tenderest look in her eyes.
Thoma
This man is such a sweet dad - nearly cried, when your first child, a girl, was delivered. Same was when a couple years later the son was born too.
Juggling his work and caring for his kids was never an issue for him. A big part of it was played by the Kamisato couple, who allowed him to bring first his daughter and then his son to work, when each of them was old enough. Which, most likely, was what prompted the Kamisatos to have their own kids - one day years ago you and Thoma wanted to have a date night - one you haven't had in a while - and Ayato's wife offered to watch your little baby girl. Does it need to be mentioned she wanted her own kids after that?
Thoma's kids are taught to be polite and respectful, but not overly reserved and quiet, no - in your own house the man would literally let them destroy the kitchen in attempts to bake something as an experiment and then turn cleaning it up into a fun game of three, or four, if you decide to join.
He is that kind of dad, who constantly falls asleep with both kids nestled on his chest and his arms wrapped around them, with a book of tales either lying on his stomach or abandoned on the floor. You literally mastered your technique of waking him up without stirring the kids, so you could bring the two to their rooms.
Your kids love walks, whether it’s in the city or admiring the scenery near the Kamisato Estate. When it’s in the city though, the four of you attract attention without a fail. Especially elders, who coo at the image of Thoma holding his daughter’s hand and you cradling your little boy to your chest. You are literally showered in little gifts and are offered many discounts, because everyone adores and respects your family. At some point for a short period of time a rumor was running around Inazuma City, that if you get to see all four members of the Kamisato retainer’s family, luck is going to follow you through the day. Thoma had to ensure it came to an end, wanting to keep you three safe and not being followed around in your leisure time.
To summarize it’s needless to say that this man is a natural when it comes to being a father. He already aced being a great husband, you never had any doubt that the same would be true about becoming a dad. And it brings you so much joy that your kids are aware of it.
Making your husband's lunch is an essential part of your morning routine. Sure, the Kamisato Estate provides its workers with meals and breaks, but knowing how much Thoma loves your home-cooked meals, you'll never refuse him this pleasure. 
On days like today you pack two more lunches, for your kids - yesterday they expressed their desire to go and help their dad. But you are more than aware of the plan they've had in their mind for the longest time. That's why you turn a blind eye and chop fruits particularly loudly, when you ten- and four-year olds sneak into the kitchen and hide something in the wrapper of an already packed lunch.
And when they were leaving and every member of your family gave you kisses, you couldn’t help but notice the decreased stack of small papers you have in the hall to make notes.
Maybe next time, you’ll ask your kids to join.
Thoma bringing his kids to work is always a pleasant surprise to the Estate’s staff. Even the guards by the gates can’t keep their composure, when the girl cheerfully greets them, wishing a good day, and the boy softly chirps a little “hi” and shyly waves his hand at them. Next person they always meet is Furuta - and the old lady adores their greeting ritual and is the one who looks after the fellow housekeeper’s kids when they help or play outside. But if usually the woman just makes small compliments to the children and chides Thoma for not bringing them over more, today his daughter breaks the routine - she suddenly lets go of his hand and quickly runs to her father’s colleague and asks her to speak in the corner. A bit stunned, the blonde watches the two move farther and start quietly talking. The boy in his arms curiously watches them and then, as if realizing something claps his hands.
“What is it, cookie?” But the only answer he receives is merry giggling.
The next strange thing happens, when the three of them arrive in his room - kids, looking as suspicious as possible, start making excuses to go and play first, though they usually insist on following him around unless they get bored, and as they disappear behind the door with his daughter’s bag - Master Ayato requests his visit. 
Getting out of his office only an hour later, Thoma has to rush to his duties, realizing that he’ll have to speed up if he wants to finish everything the blue-haired man has just told him to do. He even handed him a list with tasks, which never happened. What’s going on?
Not finding the children in his room, he decides to start without them, assuming they'll join him later. Okay, what’s the first thing on the list… Check all the chairs. Alright…
Luckily this piece of furniture isn’t numerous in the residence, giving the culture of Inazuma, and Thoma knows perfectly every single room where he can find them. What he wasn’t expecting to find is the folded papers on the seats of some of those. Upon unfolding each revealed a single letter. Strange… Well, at least the chairs themselves are in the required condition.
Tucking the papers in his pocket and fishing the list out of the other one, the man checks his next destination. Check all the bushes around the main building. Blinking, he looks again. No, the handwriting is definitely his master’s, but the contents? In his style, but why so sudden?
Following every single point, Thoma manages to find in total 13 papers with letters on it, before the list stops being weird and advises the housekeeper to dedicate the time before lunch to his common responsibilities. Which he, with an exhale of relief, proceeds to fulfill.
When the time for lunch rolls around, kids, as if magically, reappear at his side and innocently smile at him, asking how he spent his time. He promises to tell them over lunch.
Lunch, that brings him four more pieces of paper. And suddenly, both kids are not that interested in food.
“Make a phrase, make a phrase!” His daughter chants, holding her brother in her lap, and the little boy claps his hands, chanting ‘make! make!’. Already realizing that all of this was their meticulously crafted plan (to participate in which they managed to convince quite a few people), Thoma doesn’t oppose, putting all the papers on the table in front of him. 
S V E E T S I R H E Y B T
And A P A P which he got from his lunch.
“The” is guessed immediately. “Is” as well. When he reaches for the “A P A P” to add it to the pile, the girl suddenly lunges forward, putting her hand on top of it and shaking her head. Alright, not yet.
S V E E T R Y B is left. Okay, maybe “very” and… “best”!
Moving the pieces around in utter concentration, the man puts the words in the right order. And only then the ten-year old lifts her hand. With a baited breath he moves the four remaining pieces a little more and his heart skips a beat, and the summer-green eyes widen.
PAPA IS THE VERY BEST
“Surprise!” The girl beams with the widest smile, hugging her brother. “We wrote it together! See how some of the letters are clumsy? He did it!” She proudly looks at the boy, gently ruffling his hair. “Recently he was trying to learn how to write! You are the first one who sees it, even mom didn’t! And we chose this phrase, because- dad, are you crying?”
Warm silent tears are indeed running down his cheeks and the man nods, not trusting his voice. A whirlwind of emotions overtakes him, making it a little hard to formulate his thoughts, but he reacts immediately when his kids rush to him, opening his arms and catching them in a tight embrace. He'll tell them how touched he is, he'll praise them, he'll declare his love for them again and again. A tiny bit later. Now he just needs to hold them and hear that he, for real, "is the very best papa".
Alhaitham and Kaveh
Listen, just LISTEN - imagine these men’s pure shock when their wives surprise them over a double date at Kaveh’s house with their pregnancies. Like, AT THE SAME TIME. Kaveh is gaping at his woman, but Alhaitham is no better - a glass with wine frozen in air in the middle of his attempt to put it back on the table as his eyes are not blinking, glued to his spouse. The blonde would be the first one to break from his stupor and tightly hug his wife, kissing all over her face all laughter and little jumping in place, while his junior would finally put the glass down and beckon his woman onto his lap and bury his face in her neck with arms around her body, quietly thanking her for amazing news.
The kids are not even formed in the women’s stomachs, but they already have a story to share.
Alhaitham
Despite not giving the impression the man likes the idea of being a father to a child together with you, his beloved. Of course the pregnancy was planned, but even he couldn’t predict the possibility of you and his friend’s wife being pregnant at the same time. Though he does find it a little amusing and can’t lie to himself that watching you and your female friend discuss the nursery designs, the clothes, the gender, the two babies becoming akin to siblings warms his heart.
He always loved quiet evenings with you, but later, as your bump got more and more prominent, he finds himself craving your back pressed to his chest and his palms cradling your rounding stomach. He talks to his kid in there, reads them books and soothes, when they are restless and don’t let you sleep that well. And that’s how early on you understood who’s going to be the one putting your newborn to sleep, because your persuasions didn’t work that well.
And your husband doesn’t mind. He actually loves cradling his daughter - yes, it’s a little girl! - to his chest and lull her to sleep - it gives him an unimaginable sense of fulfillment.
As your little wonder grows older, Kaveh can’t help but comment how similar her scowl is to her father’s - combined with the annoyed sharp glare of the eyes she also got from him. But that’s only when she is being capricious. Most of the time she is calm and sporting your sweet smile, voice soft and eyes lacking the mentioned above sharpness. 
By the way, she is older than Kaveh’s kid, which makes the Scribe just a little bit smug.
Alhaitham is all too happy to be the one educating her. He makes sure to balance her time spending with him and her time spending with you, encouraging her to engage in your hobbies and have a mother-daughter time. But the most he loves the time the three of you spend together - be it as simple as grocery shopping, having a meal together or cuddling in the evening, or going on whole little expeditions, because his girl wants to explore something on the topic she is currently interested in.
Oh, and he is so biased when it comes to her. There is only one non-scholar kid in all of Sumeru who has her own personal access to the House of Daena, research laboratories, research data and the Scribe’s office at any working hour - and that’s your daughter.
“Look, that’s the Scribe’s wife!”
Taken aback, you stop in your way when at least a dozen students surround you. Raising an eyebrow you survey their faces thoughtfully, noting that they seem to be quite desperate. But even before you can open your mouth they interrupt.
“Tell him to let us in! We have applications to submit!”
“And I have questions why mine was declined!”
“I need his signature on my thesis papers!”
“He locked himself inside with your daughter and said not to disturb their nap! Unbelievable-”
“And how exactly can I help?” You cut through the cacophony of their voices. Students look at you as if you’ve just grown a second head.
“...you are his wife? You can influence him.” “First of all, demanding something from a person you barely know is simply rude,” you narrow your eyes and a chill runs down some of the spines - for a moment you looked just like your husband. “Secondly, I am not involved in his work and I don’t plan to. Now, please, step aside.”
“You can’t be so cruel!”
“Oh, and you can? Let me guess, at least half of you missed deadlines, a small portion made mistakes again and the rest are not in an urgent need to see my husband, but decided to stick with others in hopes that getting to him right now will work?”
Leaving them stunned by your easy guess, you finally push your way through, holding a box with food you brought for lunch close to your chest. Once in front of the door you don’t even have the time to raise a fist for knocking, because the door unlocks and opens, revealing the tall man behind it.
Silently and quickly you step inside and the door shuts again, the key turns in the lock and then is thrown on the nearest table. The office meets you with welcomed tranquility, and dimmed lights are a nice contrast to the blindingly white walls of the Akademiya.
“So, you heard everything? They said you were napping,” you question his guess of when to open the door to let you in. Alhaitham rolls his eyes, glaring at the hindrance you left behind the door, and then takes the box from you.
“I was, but since I lent my earpieces I could hear the commotion in the corridor,” with his free hand he takes yours and leads you further into the room. There, on the sofa, you spot your daughter - wearing her dad’s device and napping, curled under his cape.
“Oh Dendro Archon, she is so adorable,” you coo in awe. “Look how big your things are on her!”
“She demanded I take a break and sit with her,” the Scribe hums, putting the food on the table and then locking both of his arms around you in an embrace. “But the more she was reading to me while sitting at my side, the sleepier she was getting, so we decided to nap.”
You listen to him, while observing your precious girl. She seems serene and content, holding onto the gold-embroidered piece of fabric, surely containing her father’s soothing scent. The earpieces are adjusted to hold onto her head and in silence you can even catch the faintest sounds of a melody. Ah, if only you had a Kamera with you…
“Let’s get her her own earpieces and cape.”
“The cape is unnecessary, but I did consider the device. I could make her her own, especially since she’s been complaining about having hard times to concentrate while she is at the Akademiya.” “But with the cape she’d be just like you!”
“Am I alone not enough for you already?” Light turquoise eyes are hard to read, but you manage to catch a shadow of amusement.
“But matching outfits are charming! Like, remember the last time we’ve been to Kaveh’s? The whole family had matching robes!”
“Then you’ll have to dress like me too.”
“If I am to get an intricate cape and a device to block the sounds of you huffing - I don’t mind.”
Alhaitham huffs. Then stops, realizing he’s just done what you were accusing him of, and you can’t help but laugh.
“Kidding, kidding. Let’s discuss it over lunch. Can you wake her while I am setting the table?”
Your husband nods and, receiving a quick peck to his cheek, releases you from his hold, stepping closer to the sofa.
As you busy yourself with the food, you occasionally glance at the two from the corner of your eye, absolutely swooning over how gently Alhaitham takes the earpieces off, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, softly murmurs her name and coaxes her from sleep with the news that mommy came and brought delicious food with her. And when two sets of identical eyes look at you tenderly, a loving smile lights up your face.
Kaveh
Can you see this man sticking his finger in Alhaitham's direction and declaring that his kid is going to be senior to his friend's? Because I can. (Too bad he was wrong).
As well as I can see this man accidentally becoming supportive not only of you but the other man's family as well - and drawing the blueprints for both nurseries is probably only the beginning (but you were the only one whose every suggestion he took without arguing).
From day one his mind is set on being the best dad for your baby, just like he is the best husband to you. He reads books, seeks advice in Bimarstan, even writes letters to his mother in hopes she'll share her experience, that could help you. Though when it comes to shopping for your yet unborn baby, you have to physically restrain him from buying every single cute plushie or onesie he sees. 
When your daughter is born though, it's getting harder, because your own desire to spoil this golden-haired angel is unmeasurable. Maybe it's because she looks so much like your husband and you are projecting your need to shower him in love and affection and give everything you possibly can, but by the end of the day you just simply love her very much.
Kaveh adores doing anything creative with his daughter. She wants a mosaic in a frame on her wall? They'll put it from the little tiles together and Kaveh would hold her in his arms so she could hang it. She wants a dollhouse? They'll spend the time drawing the draft and picking colors and materials for EVERYTHING. And then he'll be building it, while she crafts little furniture. And it doesn't matter if she did it too small or too big - papa will help her adjust it.
But even so, Kaveh doesn't expect his daughter to be some genius or follow in his steps. No, he knows he'll love her even if she stops sharing the creative approach with him. He knows better than anyone how crushing it is to have everyone's expectations to loom over you and predatory gazes watch tirelessly, anticipating the moment you fail. He gives a vow to himself, to you, to your girl, that he will be there no matter what. 
Matching. Outfits. You own so many it's almost worrisome. But your daughter loves them. There were a couple occasions when she drew her own designs for the three of you and you had it tailored, which left her absolutely ecstatic.
On that note, you believe Kaveh's (tiny) fear that she'll lose interest in creativity is going to be short-lived - especially after your visit to Fontaine to let your daughter meet her granny, which the girl spent with wide open eyes and mouth, absorbing everything around her to use it later.
Also having your daughter earned you a heavy supporter in moments when Kaveh starts to overwork. He can't resist the charm of both of his girls and is easily swayed to the nearest sofa/bed to cuddle and share lots of kisses. All his life he has been the anchor for others - now he has two people to be that for him.
Kaveh is easily spooked by sudden noises, and your eleven-year old daughter knows that. That's why she makes sure to tap her feet loud enough to hear their approach through the door of his study. Balancing a small tray with a cup of tea and your special dessert in one hand, she lifts the other to gently knock on the door.
"Come in, baby!" Reaching higher she pulls the handle.
The floor littered with crumpled papers isn't a new sight to her, just as her father's hunched back over the properly lit table. But when the door closes, the architect immediately puts the pencil down and turns around, giving her a big smile.
"Hi, sweety," he is beaming, seeing her adorable face and a growing smile, complementing those precious twinkles in her eyes.
"Hi, papa!" She chirps like a little birdie - her actual nickname - and Kaveh nearly drops his head in his palms and cries. How can he be a father to someone so tender?
"Mama said you are working and made you something! I helped," she lifts the tray, showing him what she has. "We hope you will like it."
Oh, he definitely will, he doesn't doubt it. Carefully wrapping his fingers around the edges, the man takes his late afternoon snack and brings it closer to his face, inhaling the sweet smell of the desert and a soothing aroma of the tea.
"Thank you, little birdie," he puts the tray aside and bends lower to wrap his arms around her and smooch her cheek. "You and mama are the best."
"Hehe, we know," she giggles. "You are the best too."
"Awww," Kaveh can't help but nuzzle against her cheek, gaining another giggle and a cute scrunch of her nose.
"Daaaaaaaad!"
"Sorry, sorry, baby, you are just so adorable. Just like your mama."
"But mama says I am pretty like you."
"Both can work together," he assures her, but a soft blush covers his cheeks. No matter how many years have passed, he still gets shy whenever his wife uses "pretty" to describe him.
"Okay!" She simply agrees, giving him a big hug. "Sorry, but I should be going now. Mama wants to go grocery shopping and I want to help her."
Now that she says this, Kaveh pays closer attention to her outfit - the white sundress with pink roses is definitely not something she'll wear at home.
"Alright then, let me escort you downstairs."
Standing up, he easily hoists her in his arms and lets her perch on his left one, as her arms wrap around his neck.
When they reach the hall, the girl has managed to make two braids in his hair, now twisting them around each other. Kaveh finds both her and your obsession with touching his hair amusing, but sometimes it feels nice and relaxing. And you did put him to sleep by scratching his head on multiple occasions.
You, who are standing in front of the mirror, and even witnessing just your profile, the architect is in love all over again. 
He should take you on a date later this week.
"Well, I definitely wouldn't mind that," you chuckle, turning to face him and offering your most teasing smile. Ah, he said the date part out loud, didn't he? "But right now I need to go and take care of our dinner's ingredients."
Your husband nods in understanding and puts your daughter down, dusting the skirt of her dress and making sure everything is intact. Getting a quick peck on the nose, he gives her one on the forehead and straightens up to immediately welcome you into his embrace and share a soft kiss.
“Be sure to take a break and enjoy the snack we made for you. And I mean it when I say taking a break. We all remember how you spilled your morning coffee over the blueprint and had to redraw everything again. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
A wild shiver runs down Kaveh’s spine and he feverishly shakes his head. No, if there is one thing he is certain in it’s hating the repetition of this.
“You don’t have to remind me,” his heavy sigh ghosts over your skin. “And it won’t happen again.”
“I believe in you!” You cheer joyfully and it warms his heart.
“I believe in papa too!” Your daughter throws her fists in the air. “Papa can do anything!”
“Of course he can,” you gently nudge her back, ushering her to the front door. “See you soon, Kaveh. We love you.”
“I love you too.”
Waving at your leaving figures he waits until you shut the door and stick the key in the lock, before smiling to himself and returning to his study.
The tea got a little cold and the dessert’s top melted just a tiny bit, but both are still incredibly delicious. Leaning back in an armchair with a plate resting on his knee and a cup wrapped in his hands, the man feels happily at ease and two precious girls are the reason why.
Tighnari 
Frankly, I don't think Tighnari has ever given much thought to becoming a dad, let alone settling down with someone. But taking care of Collei, becoming her mentor, stepping so close to becoming a parental figure, probably played its role as well.
Biggest part, of course, was you - another pretty fennec hybrid, who, due to the same biological background, could share a lot of things with him that the man couldn't and honestly didn't want to bother explaining to others, he sure has other things to fulfill.
It took years of courting from both sides, but eventually, you two settled down together, content with each other as a partner. When the talk of kids happened, the forest ranger was hesitant - he knows he can handle a kid, he can handle ten if required thanks to his immense patience and love for teaching, but since you were different from humans, the man was aware that you could be carrying more than three babies at one time. Even if your body is built to handle it by evolution, he still didn't want to make you go through with so much. Initially. However when you looked so hopeful to have a family with your beloved, swore it's going to be just one time and then you'll keep using protection like before, he was convinced and actually quite excited.
So much nuzzling during your pregnancy. So much nuzzling when the babies are born - three beautiful boys and one girl, with the prettiest fluffy tails and ears of yours or his fur. He immediately jumped to being a father, without any complaint taking care of your kids, while you were recovering. He adores them so much, but at times hardly manages to keep an eye on all four - good thing you moved into a bigger house that is closer to the ground, because little explorers did try to escape outside on multiple occasions.
What gets Tighnari's heart burst like fireworks though? Spotting you napping with all of your babies huddled in your embrace, body practically curled around them and a tail resting on top. The first time it happened - maybe a couple of weeks after you gave birth to them - Tighnari left you alone with the kids to do an examination on the work of forest rangers in his absence, and when he returned back - he nearly collapsed from how adorable the five of you looked. Definitely joined.
From their early age he taught his kids everything about the forest so they would be prepared, and, even he won't ever admit it, it stirred something in his chest when they looked up at him with wonder and fascination in their gleaming eyes. They were also taught to be independent, but at the same time to work as a team, and they are so good at that.
The circle of four is absolutely perfect. Little hands are swift and precise, and the absolute concentration is written on the seven-year olds adorable faces. You and Tighnari even stopped your own grooming of each other’s tails to observe your kids’ routine of doing the same thing, but among themselves.
With four pillows on the floor they once again made themselves comfortable, just like every evening, equipped with different kinds of brushes and safe oils. 
You put your chin onto Tighnari's shoulder, still holding his tail in your lap, with yours resting under his palm, and make a soft sound, loud enough for him to recognize and not alert the kids. Your husband nods, purring in response and rubbing his cheek against your temple.
"They are so adorable, 'nari," you sigh, watching the four being so absorbed with their task that they don't even talk. The male couldn't agree more, lifting the corners of his mouth in a smile and then picking another brush to get busy with the tip of your tail.
"They absolutely got it from you, my dear. And did you notice how much progress they've made in the fur-caring routine?"
Tighnari doesn't see that, but you, still staring forward at your kids, clearly see how four pairs of ears prick up. How cute, someone wants the praise.
"That they did. And I don't know about you, but at the age of 7 I didn't even know that the fur has to be clean and taken care of anyhow. I guess, I never gave it much thought when my mom did it for me. Our little ones are so independent."
Four tails move a little, kids clearly delighted.
"You are right, they are," Tighnari hums, running his fingers through your now well-groomed fur, and your children hold their chins up proudly. "If only this independence didn't extend to trying to escape to the forest on their own against all of my warnings."
Inhumane eyes glare at the frozen bodies of the "explorers" in question, making them lower their gaze and pick up from where they stopped their routine. Oh, they know what they've done.
You can only sigh, fully understanding your husband's concerns, and finish tending to his tail.
Next is the balm you generously scoop onto your palm to rub into the rough texture of your fox-like pads. When you do the same for Tighnari, receiving a tender kiss to your nose, and then to each of your babies, as they walk to you one by one, still with guilty, pouty, but adorable faces, while your husband is putting away all the tools and products.
Soon your bed is occupied with all of your kids, snuggling to your sitting body and drowsily asking to sleep with you two tonight. Even the thought of making a dozen more steps to their own rooms is killing the last energy in them - the routine has an incredible side effect: they immediately become sleepy when they are done and you don't have much trouble with putting them to bed.
Especially when the bed is right here. The bed that became a large one not even a couple of months along their lives, because this has been a common occurrence.
"Mommy, daddy, can we sleep with you tonight, please?" Your daughter lifts her pleading eyes at you, being the one who managed to directly slide into your lap and into your embrace. Three boys, attached to your sides silently lift their eyes too, pouting in attempts to break your resolve. Which wasn't here in the first place.
"What'd you say, 'nari?" Chuckling, you look at your husband climbing onto the bed to join the five of you.
"Weren't we just discussing their independence? They can surely walk to their rooms. Come on, babies, back to your beds."
"Noooooooooo," their hold on you immediately becomes a death grip. "We want to stay with you!"
"Kids, I can't breathe-" you gasp from the crushing hug of at least two pairs of arms squeezing your middle.
"We want to stay, we want to stay, we want to stay!"
"That's what you should've told yourselves earlier this morning when you decided to get to the river with spinocrocodiles. That you want to stay. Home. Until I or your mother could go on a walk with you outside the village."
At his strict tone and at the reminder of them nearly losing their tails this morning to the sharp jaws of wild animals, four little foxes lower their eyes, ashamed. But they do relax their hold around you.
Tighnari sighs, rubbing his temples and contemplating when he's going to get his first gray hairs.
"Okay, I'll let you sleep with us tonight, BUT," he slightly raises his voice to emphasize, especially since the four immediately got in high spirits, "if something like this happens again - you are losing this privilege for a week. Are we clear?"
"Yes, daddy…"
"Yeah.."
"Mhm…"
"Sure, dad…"
And that's the only confirmation Tighnari needs before lifting the covers, because no matter how restless and disastrous your children can be - he has almost as hard a time as you do telling them "no".
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brf-rumortrackinganon · 2 months
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I’d love to hear your take on the rumour that Meghan wanted to sue for/believed the Duchy of Cornwall should be split 50/50 between the brothers and whether you believe there was any truth in it?
Initially I thought no one is this delulu but now I am not so sure…
So one of the things I’ve learned in tracking/following BRF rumors is that most of them have some truth to them. To me, that’s what makes this fun; digging as deep as I can to find out what that little modicum of truth is that makes it seem plausible.
I don’t know that the rumor Meghan wanted to sue for 50% of the Duchy of Cornwall is legit. For one, no lawyer (in their right mind) would take that case because it’s pretty settled in the law how succession and inheritance works. But never say never, right, because there’s always an ambulance chaser sniffing around. (That’s why Shakespeare said we need to kill all the lawyers first.)
But there are three things I see as being behind her (and Harry’s) belief that the Sussexes would get a cut of the Cornwall money.
One - Inheritance vs Succession
I do think she, and Harry, believed that they could get some kind of money from the Duchy of Cornwall because they probably saw it more as an inheritance, rather than succession. So usually with an inheritance, it’s split between children/relatives, so Meghan probably assumed that Cornwall would be split between William and Harry because it’s Charles giving away an inheritance versus laws about succession. (I’m not sure if that makes sense. I don’t really know how else to explain what I’m thinking about that.)
But it goes back to Diana’s insistence that the brothers be raised equally, and at some point there was probably a conversation or two where “everything William gets, Harry gets” implanted in Harry’s brain and he has really taken that to heart over the years, probably spurred on by Meghan’s own ambitions of “everything Kate gets, I should have too.”
Two - Magnificent Six
Charles’s ‘Magnificent Six’ plan/vision kicked off in 2012 with the jubilee - that the future of the monarchy was Charles, William, and Harry and their wives. William and Kate would focus more on the UK and Harry and his future wife would focus more on the Commonwealth. I feel pretty confident that those discussions Charles was having with his sons and the courtiers at that time would have included some kind of discussion about the finances and how the Commonwealth work would be funded. Maybe during those discussions something came up like because Harry + Future Wife would live at Kensington Palace alongside William and Kate, it made sense that his work would continue to be represented by Kensington Palace instead of being shifted over to Buckingham Palace so maybe there was some kind of deal that a portion of the Cornwall money would continue being allocated to Harry because if the arrangement worked, why break it?
(Remember, back when these discussions were taking place, 2009ish - 2013ish, Meghan wasn’t anywhere close to the picture so there probably were a lot of things promised to Harry, or that Harry expected, that were ultimately taken away when he did marry and Meghan did join the family because of attitude/behavior issues affecting the monarchy’s overall reputation and representation.)
Three - General Not Understanding of These Things
Look, neither Meghan nor Harry are details people. So chances are extraordinarily high that they never bothered to actually read the papers or understand the laws about how the titles, succession, transition, and accession actually worked. They just assumed that everything would stay the same or that they would also get Wales titles too. And we know that’s what they assumed because of all the PR the Sussexes kept putting out in the second half of 2022; stories about how they wanted to start using “Prince Harry and Princess Meghan of Wales” titles - someone out there in Montecito thought that “of Wales” meant children of the monarch, not that it was its own separate title/position.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if that lack of understanding (or sheer ignorance) also came with a heavy delusion that “inheriting” Charles’s “of Wales” surname also came with “inheriting” Charles’s money too.
So I guess long story short, the delusion is rooted in reality. It’s just a matter of figuring out what reality it is. Was there legitimately a plan for William to continue supporting Harry’s office post-accession with Cornwall money the same way Charles supported both of the sons with Cornwall money? Or did Harry promise
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batbabydamian · 1 month
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so, Batman #147… rambling about the difference in how Zdarsky portrays the two current Robins
this is a fantastic run for Tim, and very much written like a return to form of what plenty consider the best dynamic duo, but even more so "the best Robin". once Damian's introduced in this run, Zdarsky really makes sure you still know that lol
1. "We don't need anyone else" VS "I need my family"
#147 clearly exemplifies the contrast, so i'll go through it first. Damian, having fallen for Zurr's lie and accepted him as the real Bruce, goes so far as to say in the very first page "We don't need anyone else." it's cold colors, machinery, and hollow declarations of "father and son" for these two.
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towards the ending, Tim has deduced where the real Bruce is hiding and brings him food expecting Bruce's knack for self-neglect. it's all warmth, sunshine, and mutual understanding - also a cute back and forth of "Batman and Robin" between them. on top of this, where Damian isolates Batman & Robin from family, Tim is the one to remind Bruce about "helping each other." Bruce heartily agrees with "I need my family" for a weighty end.
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along with this parallel, from #138 Tim makes it clear that even in opposition, he's only ever trying to help Bruce. Damian was still on the wrong side with Zurr-induced-Bruce here at the time too 😭
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2. Tim's independence as both a hero and partner
Tim is written as the ideal Robin to Bruce's Batman, and has made Robin its own independent hero on equal footing rather than a sidekick - it's made in statements by both Tim and Bruce, and through the entire narrative. he takes initiative and tries to foresee what would ultimately help Bruce. beyond being great partners, there's many bits showing their emotional connection ("i'm scared of being lost, but i'm more scared of losing you, Bruce" hit me like a bag of bricks). tbh this almost could be a Batman and Robin run lol
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added the first panel from #126 of Tim declaring he's his own hero outside of Bruce, proven plenty especially in his backups in #131-134!! the other panels are a few highlights from #128, #130, and #135 of the partnership between Tim and Bruce
granted it's Zurr, but Damian is mostly seen following orders and given pensive looking panels when there's something concerning. While Tim continued to represent Batman's ideals during his own solo quest to find Bruce, Damian doesn't question or take action against "Bruce's" sudden shift in ethics
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Batman #134 Backup - Tim showing support toward Toyman VS Batman #146 - Zurr and Damian confront Harley as she pleads about her change of heart
another kiinda parallel in #147 is Bruce acknowledging Tim's hard work to become Robin compared to Damian who's out here going Batman and Robin/Father and Son. i don't think it's an intended parallel but just the state of continuing to show Tim in a better light - Tim put in the effort "to become the second-best Robin" while Damian is Robin because..."son." supposedly less effort on his part too, because LOA.
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second pic is from Batman/Catwoman The Gotham War: Scorched Earth, felt fitting to add since Tim mentions needing to "know everything" in both. and the humble brag. which ofc Tim believes Dick is the best!! but also. jic we didn't know Tim is the best current Robin sdfgh
3. Damian's blind loyalty as "Bruce's son"
there's a weight to the Robin title when regarding Tim, whereas Damian's "Robin" role is excess and counterintuitive. he's delegated to desperate sidekick to Bruce, as well as becoming an obstacle to the family. being Robin only seems significant to Damian in how it ties himself to his father, and his single Robin quality is a loyalty that's been written to an extreme fault. the only positive angle i could see this in is Zdarsky aiming to put Damian in a sympathetic light in how far Damian was willing to fall to stay by his father's side, hence, fooled by that nightmare story/confession. the problem with this is that we have not seen a single emotional connection between the two in this run, so why should we care about that relationship.
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also, Damian constantly bringing up his position as Bruce's son just makes him look entitled? since Bruce rightfully expressed his claim of having the others as his sons too (with the unfortunate exclusion of his daughter)! so it's like a "lol you're not that special" vibe when looking at it from the outside?? ykw concerning #138, Damian saying "You're the one trying to destroy my father" also could have been in contrast to Tim saying "We'll help our dad" at the end.
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Zdarsky seems to believe the only meaningful part of Damian being Robin is he's the son of Bruce, and not a single nod to any noble aspect Damian's achieved beyond that. we're constantly reminded of Tim's greatest hits as Robin, from taking on the mantle to pull Bruce out of darkness (#135, #138), mastermind a whole takedown (Gotham War: Scorched Earth), and always being on the same wavelength with Bruce etc. the entire run sings Tim's praise, and it's deserved!! my problem is how it's in stark contrast to Damian's portrayal of being the other Robin who's only special because he believes he's the greatest son and wants to be at Bruce's side.
so all this to say, if your fav is Tim YOU'RE EATING WELL!! personally as a chronic enjoyer of things, this has been an entertaining run! as a chronic enjoyer of Damian, it's definitely not for many of his fans at this point in time.
i did like this part!! his grin!!
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gffa · 1 month
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If Kenobi season 2 happens and they bring back Commander Cody, how do you think they should handle Obi-Wan and Cody storywise?
I'm so very on the fence about whether I would even want a second season of the show--the first season was never meant to be anything beyond a mini-series and I think having it be self-contained that way made it so much more satisfying. It wasn't meant to be an ongoing story like The Mandalorian is, and Ewan was just leaving the door open for any potential future stories. On the other hand, I WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF EWAN'S OBI-WAN. For me, I think any potential second season needs to really feel like it has a point and feel sufficiently tied to Obi-Wan's core story if they're going to the effort of bringing all the actors back again. Which means: Anakin needs to be a central figure in it, even if I'm not sure how well that would work after that unnamed moon wrapped things up pretty well between them and Obi-Wan was where he needed to be for ANH. An Obi-Wan show needs to be centered on Obi-Wan's story. Versus that I think whatever Cody's storyline is, it needs to be about him, and not about someone else story. Which means I'm not sure how good I would feel about him being part of an Obi-Wan show, which would make his issues about Obi-Wan, meanwhile Obi-Wan's been more about Anakin and Luke and the Jedi. (Leia worked because she was about Anakin and Padme and Obi-Wan's connections to the Republic/Bail.) I would prefer Cody's story about what he does after leaving the Empire to be told elsewhere because I think Cody deserves to get that to himself. What I really want is a story that can fully focus on Rex and Cody meeting up again and maybe joining the Rebellion or working together to help other clones. There's some really potentially good, crunchy conflict to be had between Obi-Wan and Cody because of Utapau, and theoretically what I would love is if it could be tied into a story about rescuing Luke and some clones somehow, that they intersect for an episode or two, that it has this undercurrent of how well they worked together--and still do, they fall right back into seamlessly understanding each other and complementing each other's fighting styles--but that they're on different paths now. Obi-Wan has his sacred duty to watch over Anakin's son on Tatooine. Cody has his need to help his clone brothers or fight in the bigger Rebellion. Both important paths, but they part ways as friends again, maybe Obi-Wan can put him in touch with Bail to join the Rebellion proper. I would love to see Cody and Obi-Wan crossing paths again, conflict about what happened on Utapau, maybe that's how Obi-Wan finds out about the chips, Cody gets closure and can go on to fight against the Empire that oppressed him and his brothers, Obi-Wan is watching over Luke to ensure the galaxy has a future, and both of their core stories are respected, but there's resolution here. I'm not against cameos in Star Wars, I just want them to be used for emotional resolution, not because of Rule of Cool. This is why I thought the 501st trooper was perfect for the show, because it was part of the theme of Obi-Wan seeing Anakin's ghosts everywhere, that's why Leia worked so well for me in the show, because it was about Anakin's ghosts again, about the missing part of Obi-Wan as a Jedi who was a teacher, about the loss of Padme in the galaxy, about his duty to help the people of the Republic where he could versus his own crushing depression and trauma. Whatever role Cody would play on the show, I would want it to support the core of those same themes, while also respecting that Cody has his own story to be told. What I picture so clearly in my head is, post-fight scene where they've wiped the floor with whoever was coming after them, is just the two of them nodding at each other in understanding, that there are scars between them but they both can let it go now, Obi-Wan knows it wasn't a betrayal, Cody knows that Obi-Wan doesn't hold it against him, they both know the other has purpose in their life, and they each have regained a friend. The galaxy looks a little brighter after that.
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pagannatural · 3 months
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2.09 Croatoan
-my beloved
-The brothers go to Oregon because Sam has a vision of Dean shooting someone who pleads for his life.
-Sam thinks Dean is violent and out of control because of his grief but he’s actually violent and out of control because he’s losing his mind over Sam.
-Sam looks very Scared Little Brother when they realize the town has no phone signal. He stands really close to Dean. Sam is right. I forgot how scary this episode is.
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-Sam hesitates to kill the son who had the mom tied up, and Dean berates him. Dean calls the son a “monster” and Sam says “it was a kid.” Dean likes a clean line between monster and human.
-Sam is always the one who comforts the victims and tells people everything will be okay, another way in which his role in the relationship is traditionally feminine. He’s the one women find non-threatening. (And he’s too distracted by Dean to be attracted to them).
-When the mom, Beverly, says “one minute they were my husband and my son and the next they had the devil in them” the camera cuts to Sam and Dean. This line could be Dean describing a blood-drinking Sam: one minute he was my husband and my son and the next he had the devil in him.
-One of the armed men blocking the road out of town asks Dean to get out of the car to “talk a little,” and Dean says “you are a handsome devil but I don’t swing that way, sorry.” It’s easy to forget that in the early 2000s, this kind of throwaway joke on network tv didn’t usually hint at a character’s hidden sexuality, it was just a vaguely biphobic little joke. But I do think there’s a reason it’s here.
The Croatoan virus is a demonic virus spread from blood infection that’s not visible just by looking at someone. So we have a little AIDS parallel. It’s also a similar concept to Sam’s demon blood. His blood represents choice and sin and the human mixed with the monstrous. Blood is also associated with family.
Incest and queerness are taboos that have often been conflated in fiction (and in history), and both have been strongly associated with monstrosity—think predatory sexuality, birth defects, infertility, rejection of the natural order. A desire that’s dangerous and wrong and destructive, that must stay hidden and can only survive in the shadows. The homoerotic incestuous monster hunters are the perfect storm of gothic queer horror.
Whether or not either brother is queer doesn’t affect the plot, and isn’t the point. I can see Dean grappling with being in love with Sam without questioning his sexuality at all. Sam is a category unto himself to Dean, and Sam doesn’t appear bothered about his sexuality aside from his feelings about Dean. But the confluence of these taboos—incest and queerness—with blood is central to the plot of the show and the question of what evil is. Really their love for each other and their shared blood is what saves them, keeps them human.
-Another of my absolute favorite underrated wincest moments is when Beverly is begging for her life from the utility room and Dean asks Sam “are you sure she’s one of them?” Sam barely nods and it’s enough for Dean to shoot her three times point blank. He doesn’t need any more information, just for Sam to nod slightly.
-Sam suggests that they need to leave to warn others of the virus and Dean tells him he has a good point. They respect each other’s input and work together well.
-Duane shows up and the situation becomes very tense. Sam is standing with his whole body facing Dean. In moments of extreme stress, Sam often seeks Dean’s protection rather than focusing on the threat.
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-Dean has a gun on Duane with some urgency but Sam says “I gotta talk to you—now” and Dean leaves the room with him immediately.
Sam argues that they should wait and not kill Duane in case he isn’t infected. Dean says “what’s that buy us?”
“A clear conscience, for one.”
“Well it’s too late for that.” Is Dean talking about his guilt over John’s death? Or is this more about his general self hatred around never being enough to be everything for everyone, to give Sam everything that he needs and be the perfect son and soldier and brother and father and mother?
Sam tells him “you don’t act like yourself anymore, Dean. You’re acting like one of those things out there.” Dean does feel lost. He needs Sam to save him so that he can save Sam.
-Sam is so devoted to Dean this season. He spent season 1 gradually giving into his complete trust and commitment to Dean and now he’s been losing him or at risk of losing him in different ways all season. He fights tooth and nail for Dean every step of the way to get him to listen, to talk, to come back to him.
-Dean pushes Sam out of the way and locks him out, aiming to kill Duane. He says “it’s not him, not any more” and “I’ve got no choice.” But then Dean decides not to shoot him.
-When the doctor asks if it’s alright to untie Duane, Dean and Sam seem to have a wordless conversation in which Dean defers to Sam’s judgement, and Sam tells the doctor it’s okay to untie him.
-Sam is Dean’s morality. Dean is submitting to Sam, needing him to help him make the right choice. By doing this he’s also believing in Sam’s ability to stay good.
-Sam says about Dean not killing Duane “you know I’m gonna ask you why.”
Dean replies “yeah I know,” not looking up, focusing on keeping his hands busy making Molotov cocktails.
“So why? Why didn’t you do it?”
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Dean looks at Sam with his chin tucked, like it’s hard to meet his eyes. He doesn’t answer. He clears his throat and says “we need more alcohol,” basically asking Sam to leave for a moment so that he can pull it together. He gazes after Sam with this raw, shamed look.
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It’s the first of two parallels in this episode to their conversation in 1.19 where Sam says his reticence to date is mostly not about Jessica, and Dean asks “then what is it about?” and Sam just looks at him, implying heavily that it’s about Dean.
The question Dean was asking Sam there was essentially, Why can’t you love anyone else?
The first question Sam asks Dean is why he didn’t kill someone, but it’s also why Dean wants to do the right thing and not lose himself, and the answer is because of Sam.
-After Sam is attacked, he reaches for Dean’s hand to help him up off the floor and then just leaves his hand outstretched after Sarge holds Dean back and tells him Sam is infected. It’s like his muscle memory of reach-out-hand, Dean-pulls-me-up hasn’t caught on.
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-The whole time Dean argues with the others about Sam, Sam only looks at the floor or at Dean. He’s not watching the conversation, he’s watching Dean because he’s scared and he looks to Dean when he’s scared.
-Dean says “no one’s shooting my brother”
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He’s so protective. He was about to kill someone who might be infected just in case, but when it’s Sam he would simply rather die in a murder suicide and that’s that on that.
-Sam asks for the gun so that he can shoot himself, saying “I’m not gonna become one of those things.” This episode is pure foreshadowing for the end of s5. Sam refuses to become a monster, Dean chooses to stand by him and die rather than kill him. Because of their faith in each other, because they waited, things work out.
-Dean hands over the keys to the impala. He’s not fucking around. He tells the doctor “oh actually we’re not really marshals.” He’s in a truth telling mood, fuck it.
-Sam asks Dean to leave him and keep living, looking at him with incredulity and gratitude and love and fear.
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Dean leaving him alone to die or become a monster would fulfill Sam’s deepest fear—left behind, not belonging, because something is wrong with him. But he still asks Dean to go, he throws a fit, he tells him “this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” It reminds me of that scene from Titanic, Jack telling Rose “you’re so stupid” for staying with him instead of saving herself.
He says “it’s over for me, it doesn’t have to be for you.”
“No?”
“No. You can keep going.”
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“Who says I want to?”
This scene is so dramatic and romantic. Close shots of their faces, Sam looking up at Dean with his eyes full of tears, begging him. Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to go on without him.
Sam asks, what?
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For a moment it almost looks like he’s taking this as the confession that it is, before Dean puts some distance between them and leans against the wall. This is the second scene is this episode to parallel their conversation in 1.19, this time even more closely.
Sam thinks Dean doesn’t want to go on because their dad died, but Dean says “you’re wrong. It’s not about dad. I mean part of it is, sure, but-“
Sam interrupts to ask “then what is it about?” and Dean gives him this look,
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this look of love and tenderness, like he’s willing Sam to understand.
This time Sam’s question is Why don’t you want to live? And the answer is that Dean doesn’t want to live without Sam.
I love how this scene makes clear that Sam’s romantic partners compare directly to Dean. It confirms what Sam was thinking about in 1.19, because for these scenes to rhyme they must have been thinking about each other.
-The brothers share a romantic beer at the lake. Sam asks Dean what he was talking about last night in a way that honest-to-god sounds like he’s referring to pillow talk. Dean doesn’t want to tell so Sam keeps pushing, but their tones are teasing and light. They really sound like they’re flirting. Dean suggests that they go to the Grand Canyon.
Sam keeps questioning him, gentle but insistent, as Dean talks about taking a break.
-Where is our Grand Canyon episode?
-Sam looks so scared when Dean says John told him something about Sam before he died. I wonder what’s running through his head. There’s this feeling that people with Sam’s negative core belief often get, which is a fear that something is deeply wrong or rotten in them and that eventually other people will find out. He’s probably thinking that’s finally happened.
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