#i thought last summer was bad

[athenaseden]

i dont even know what trigger warnings to put on this. i dont know whats wrong with me. ill just title each section. avoid it if it triggers you.

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Sleep Struggles.

its hard to wake up. at first it was hard to sleep. i'd stay awake until 5 am. i could try every method i knew to fall asleep and nothing worked. now its hard to wake up. i fight - i fight my brain that tells me there is nothing worth it. i fight my brain that tells me all the pain and harm I'll see in the day all the reasons to say in bed because staying in bed is a little bit safer.

Can't Eat.

I struggle to eat. part of me thinks it may be because i fucked up my eating habits the first month i was home from school. i just forgot to eat breakfast and was so busy lunch slipped my mind. now, now its bad. my stomach will grawl, i don't *want* food but my stomach will be empty. so i try to think of things to eat. nothing sounds appeasing, not even comfort food. but i know i need to eat something because i was doing so much, my body needs it. so I'll make something simple (which - i struggle with adhd and sensory issues with it too). and it will sit in front of me and my throat immediately tightens. my brain rejects it before i even try to eat it. it registers what my throat is doing the same way it would something that is a bad sensation. so i force myself to eat it. there is no regret. i can keep it down. but that feeling stays the whole time i eat. so i try to eat smaller portions - it doesn't matter. i just cant eat. but i do because i have too.

Home. TW: racism, homophobia, transphobia, abuse ?

Home has never really been safe for me. Summers are the worst. Ive come out to them and wish i never had. My brother doesn't even try to be subtle abt his hate. My mother doesn't really try to stop him just gives a "hey!". Not that it surprises me. She pretends to be supportive. And listen i know it could be worse. But she thinks just wearing and buying me the flag is supportive. She still things its an agenda and forced in her face. She still holds out the chance that its a phase - she tells me all the time. Tells me i shouldnt be so open, was disappointed when i did so during orientation. And god dont get me started on transphobia. Its, i had a non binary partner (my family doesnt know abt any of my exs) and was regularly fighting them on transwomens validity. and i just. im genderfluid ! and i cant even think abt not being cis rn, i. i know i tagged racism but i basically live with people short of being n*z*s. and i cant leave. the tr*m p support that i have to hear regularly burns. and im just stuck here till august. i very literally have to be something im not AGAIN.

I was so happy to get out of the house last Fall. Thought that finally i was away from the abuse and lying and creating a fake me for the people closest to me. and i was. until i moved back in.

[peachdues]

I just went to Google Sanemi for a fic I'm writing, and this was the first result?????

Um? What? When did Sanemi get into music? Is the Hashira Training Arc actually about him teaching everyone how to write sick tunes?

I’m about to make my ears bleed from listening on repeat —

[abirddogmoment]

In the same vein as my Dog Thoughts post about performance foundations last night, the more I watch Sports People, the more motivated I am to distance myself from them and be done with dog sports completely.

[essektheylyss]

Since I have finally defeated the horrors*, I'm starting to catch up on World Beyond Numbers after having fallen behind when school started after arc 1, and I did in fact have to pause to take a walk to get some baklava before getting too far into the Citadel food crawl because it is late afternoon and I was not gonna make it.

[alitgblog]

the girls' date outfits are all so bad wtf like i'm feeling very at home with my free outfit over here

[taiyami]

It has been thunderstorming nearly every night since I moved here, should I consider that a bad omen ..

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Having near anxiety attack levels of dread and anxiety in your childhood home because of shitty things that happened last summer is crazy (I am not thriving)

[mossflower]

how many breakdowns should you have about dropping out before you seriously consider dropping out. asking for a friend teehee

[cerise-on-top]

hi there! I was wondering if you could write how Farah would react if the reader got hurt because she's the commander of the ULF?

(Btw you are feeding the Farah lovers! Remember to take breaks and such if needed! 💞💞)

Hello! I'm glad to hear that! I do love writing for the girls, after all! I love them dearly and I'm glad you all do too! And I will take breaks if I need them, don't worry!

Reader got Hurt Because of Farah

I think that, although Farah is a very reasonable person and always uses her head instead of her heart, you getting hurt would be one of the few times where she would act out of emotions rather than rational thought. She can’t usually afford such a thing, no matter how distressed she may be, so it basically never happens. But the person who hurt you will come to regret ever getting close to you. She won’t go after them guns blazing, no, she’s way too smart for that. But that person will be dealt with, either immediately or after a while. Farah doesn’t forget, her memory is far too good for that. If she can see your attackers face, good. That way she can either immediately go after them or track them down by memory alone. But if she can’t see it then she’ll spare no expense in finding out who it may have been. It might take a while, but she’ll get her revenge. In fact, you getting hurt would be another big reason for her to fight her war for peace, because in her ideal world, no one gets hurt. Not you, not her brothers or sisters. However, whoever hurt you won’t live to see such a utopia. Farah won’t torture them, but she’ll make quick work of whoever they may be so that they won’t hurt anyone else near and dear to her. But of course, all of this goes once she’s certain you’re alright. Farah will call the best medics she has to make sure you’ll make it, that you’ll end up in as little pain as possible during your recovery. She won’t particularly have the time to be by your side throughout it all, but she’ll come visit you whenever she can, maybe even bringing you a recovery gift or two in the process. Always has someone check up on you. Someone she trusts will come in every once in a while and ask you how you’re doing to give her a report on your status. Yes, she may be on the frontlines fighting a war, but she always needs to know how you’re doing or else she’ll get even more nervous than she should be.

[momowoah]

atp I'm not a 5sos fan I'm a 5sos hostage bc wdym 48 out of my top 50 tracks from the past 6 months are 5sos songs

[non-un-topo]

Wondering if it's worth it to bind today and wear a literal pin with my literal pronouns if my supervisor and peers are going to misgender me all day

[prettyiwa]

The days are growing shorter and night is growing longer and it feels like I can finally breathe.

[the-yearning-astronaut]

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[bugbxyjunk]

the only thing that keeps me going in the school year is academic validation

[parvuls]

okay wait I'm writing an actual post so I can start handling all these emotions

[alpinezro]

i just remembered why i hate late spring and summer oh my god my ankles mMY ANKLES ITCH SO BADDD