#im the oldest daughter

[bamsara]

I don't need to have kids when I'm an elder sibling with a 14+ year age gap between us and absent/busy parents. When was the last time you got a fresh toothbrush. What happened to your knee. The fuck you mean you don't have a swim suit. Get in the car.

[cherrybitezz]

[pain-is-my-game]

It's terrible knowing that if I ever show sadness or show anything emotion that's not positive towards anything whether it's my fault or not I'll either get blamed for it or told that my emotions are irrational.

[frenchfrysimp]

is it the eldest daughter urge [admin of every group] [navigates every time you travel with friends or family] [walks ahead of everyone else] [fixes everyone’s google slides the night before submission] [unofficial and sometimes official leader of every project you do ever] [facilitator of every group discussion] [tv remote in hand during movie nights] [in charge of finalising restaurant orders] [sends message summarising key details before an outing] [has carefully curated and created those key details themselves] or just control freak behaviour 

[karaspal]

superman: lois lane #1

a very important part of lois lane’s character, in my opinion, is being an older sister. not only does that show us a more caring side of her whenever she interacts with lucy, but also explains why she is the way she is. she is over-competitive, confident and independent. she thinks she knows best (most time she does). she is a control freak and needs to have control over every situation at all times. those are all traits older siblings who had to look after their younger ones have. at the end of the day, that’s a big responsibility for such a young child so it’s obvious some unresolved trauma will carry over to adulthood.

lois lane is the perfect example of “oldest daughter syndrome” and i love her for it.

[muttgirl]

i hope one day she can understand

[greysfields]

being the eldest daughter is so draining. parents holding you to higher emotional standards than the ones they hold themselves to. than the ones they hold anyone else to. always being so underappreciated for how you've raised so many people even though you're still a child. wanting to get away. wanting to stay for the sake of your siblings because they need you. feeling kinship to your mother for being underappreciated and overworked but wondering why it always has to be you to break the cycle. feeling like you're the parent and being painfully reminded that you're not when you go unnoticed again. wondering if what you want even matters, since no one seems to care about it. learning how to rely on yourself. learning how to prioritise yourself and feeling guilty for it because you don't know anything else. learning how to break cycles again and again and take care of yourself, since no one else is going to do it for you

[444girlbl0g]

[eeblouissant]

in this essay I need to talk about the way Dorothy acts around & reacts to stan in this clip (season 4 ep 5) specifically or I will simply perish.

enjoy the unorganized (unedited, and definitely not reread) chaos, this will be more of a ramble than anything - it’s so late & I need to get these thoughts out of my head before I explode.

Firstly, the clip in question:

( 1:15 - 2:22 )

now. Oh boy. Where do I even begin.

As much as I know it was done for comedic effect; the way Dorothy doesn’t hesitate to let herself cuddle into stan (STAN!!! CUDDLING. with STAN. And **publicly** there are so many layers here) when he puts an arm around her, describing what probably were the happier times Dorothy’s mentioned having with him despite it all (or at least a version of them. his version, that he’d created in an attempt to persuade her, as we learn pretty quickly) - oh god it just breaks my heart. She lets herself feel those memories for just a moment, before it all inevitably comes crashing down again. The way she snaps so quickly… that’s something we do not see in younger Dorothy. Younger Dorothy comes off much more passive-aggressive leaning more on the passive (shy?) side, she’s just very logical & no nonsense (but not in the way she is now). That’s something that Dorothy never really loses - Whereas current Dorothy has lost that (passiveness) completely with stan, and seems find it natural to come off as “aggressive” & dominating around/toward others. So - that ability to shut off & become defensive like that, & so fast, was developed later on. She’s got a bite now that was learned, because she had to bite to survive. For her own sanity. Do you know how much work that would take to unlearn & heal, if she ever even tried? oh my. Yeah I’m not well. I don’t think she would have much faith in it changing either, it’s become such a part of her. I think she would feel a little lost without it.

That first bit kills me - but what kills me about this scene most, is that last bit. Where she tries to push back further with a comment she know will be funny and just a little hurtful (towards stan, im sure she thought) and that will further deflect. But it backfires and hurts her instead. Her voice breaks. It breaks and her eyes soften and it looks like that just for a moment she lets the hurt shine through. Because that is especially painful, she cannot bury it. Her entire demeanour changes as those last few words are delivered (and Oh My God do they register fast - like she’d reopened that wound having no idea it was going to sting so badly.) and I just - oh my GOD. For that split second she looks like she might crack, the pain in her voice is so clear. & then the walls go right back up & it’s pushed right back down. I cannot deal. I absolutely cannot. Dorothy has let herself be vulnerable in the past, but has there ever been more than maybe (maybe) a handfull of instances where her voice & face soften that way? Anyway, I’m absolutely losing it over those little details. I’ve yet to find another scene where it feels like younger Dorothy shines through in the current. It hurt my heart so good and I cannot stop thinking about it :’) I think this is my sign to rebinge every episode in order. Because I am definitely forgetting - there has to be more.

Okay that’s all for now! If any of you have any thoughts or personal fav scenes (etc) to share as well please feel free!!! Dorothy angst seems to be my drug of choice lately lmao

(like two bits of this were my own interpretations of Dorothy’s character based on observation, don’t take them as canon nor am I claiming they are, because we obviously don’t know exactly what happened in between + younger Dorothy didn’t have much screen time :’)! Headcanons are just so much fun to throw around!!)

She <333 <33333333 <3 <3 <3 heart heart heart xxoo literal angel

[samdeancrimespree]

idk if this makes sense but the more i think about the winchester dynamic pre series-s1 its like. mary is john’s wife but her memory is the oldest son. nothing she has done was wrong, no one will ever compare to her. dean is the oldest daughter and the middle child and the second wife, the stepmother. bitter from the burdens she left him, but willing to mould himself into any shape, hoping that will make him worthy of not being replaced. unlovable, unwanted, but indispensable. sam is the youngest and the only child, with the least responsibility but the most expectation. the other roles have already been filled. there is nothing he can do, nothing he should do, but behave. he is protected, but given no autonomy. his bitterness will never be acknowledged, because he has no right to it, he had everything given to him. always seen as immature, the ungrateful child running away from home.

[tb-png]

hey I mean this in the kindest possible way but you can't control how people will interpret art once you post it in a public place. sure you can ask people to not tag your art with certain things but that doesn't mean they have to follow it. art touches us all differently and can mean different things to different people. if you don't like it then you either have to be more comfortable blocking people who do it or not post it. just food for thought. hope you have a lovely day

See i’m mostly under a similar mindset as well. And honestly i’m almost always fine with how people interpret my art, even if it isn’t what i intend it for it to be interpreted as

I dont really care to clarify unless someone asks for the specific meaning

My issue is with the fact it was publicly tagged with wincest (and not a commonly muted version of the tag as well) on an art that I heavily projected the relationship i have with my siblings. I am allowed to get extremely uncomfortable over that and place/clarify my boundaries.

If people have that interpretation of my art, i would rather it private and not in public with very visible reblogs i can see. I blocked the person instantly anyways.

And the comment on “not posting it.” Everyone is allowed to have boundaries, but personally if something isn’t my cup of tea (like more taboo topics like incest, etc.) i rarely publicly express discomfort and just avoid it instead. My persona is already one of the most mildest ones, so me having one hard boundary/discomfort should be a non-issue. i would like my familial and platonic art (ESPECIALLY the ones tied to irl familial relationships) not to be publicly tied and compared to incest and all i did was request so 🥲

[whomst-the-hell]

your favourite star wars character is commander cody? oh yeah, hows the parentification treating you, bitch

[thebloodbringscolorandfluoresce]

Everything They Say About Me is True.

My parents say I'm too spoiled, they say there's always an interest behind each act of service.

I never question them but they always question me because not a single task I can suffice.

I am not a good listener, and I always have a reason to complain. But if they could only see my needs for once and let me explain.

My dad scares me when he's drunk, and so I try to ignore him from trying to get me into tears. And as much as I love my mother, being like her is one of my biggest fears.

Over the years I've lost the ability to speak, to go and cry on somebody's shoulders.

And I hate that my little sister will one day grow up without me and realize that I'm not perfect, I never was.

I'm afraid that everything they say about me is true.

I love my parents, but sometimes I can't stand being their daughter.

They say I'm too spoiled and irresponsible and live in my own world, but I just can't seem to make them happy.

I just want to leave this house and never come back, but I've never known a home.

- Amy Jade.

[iloveschiaparelli]

It's been about 5 years since I watched about 4 seasons of the X files. I sat down today to start re-watching from S1 E1, in hopes that I wouldn't get confused in s5 and drop it again but actually finish the series. A 5 year time period will teach you a lot about yourself. I, for instance, have learned that what I thought was significant attraction to Fox Mulder was actually intense older brother envy, which is the term I have coined for myself (oldest daughter) for when I am just so so so so desperate for an older brother. We watched 2 episodes and i already want this man in my life super platonically as my brother. What a guy. Hell yeah sibling relationships. Wish I had one LMFAO

[yardsards]

my pet headcanon that has 0 evidence is that post canon emira gets music lessons from raine

both of her siblings got to have mentors and i think she could use an outlet to express herself as well as a positive adult figure to go to outside of her family

[novococain]

🦴