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letterstomymothershewontread · 1 year

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sister,

so it's coming up on a full year since the last time we spoke. it was over text about a post i shared on my facebook, a petty post albeit but it got your attention anyway. i shared a post of defining what a sister is and i tagged my two best friends in it. one of those friends i've been friends with for 21 years this year and the other 17. i've known them longer than i haven't and frankly i dont know where id be without them. you texted me saying that you had been thinking about me and sometimes you look at my facebook when you're missing me, and this time you saw a post that pulled on your heartstrings. a heart i'm not so sure you have anymore if i was to be honest. i tagged my best friends in it and said they were my only sisters and you texted me over it. you asked if that was how i felt and i told you it was. i mean if it wasn't i wouldn't have shared it. i may shitpost a lot but everything i share and post is a representation of me in some way, you know that. looking back at the texts i see now how short of a conversation it really was, ten texts in total. it's funny you know, when you first texted me you started the text out saying you were wanting my opinion on some of your wedding things. i think that really goes to show how you never take me seriously and you never have. i think that's the problem with you and mom if i'm honest, you still both see me as some angsty emo 15 year old, and i'm not, i'm an adult. i will use my voice to speak up for myself, after all i had to learn how to protect myself really early on in life. you go on to ask me about the post in that first text, to which i replied saying that as far as i was concerned that it's her wedding that she didn't want me to be apart of from the beginning. i tell you that yes i do agree that they're the only people i consider my sisters because they've been there for me like a sister is. both of them know and understand me better than anyone apart of my fiancé. id like to think that she also knew me that well or at least did but clearly doesn't anymore and i don't know her as well as i thought either. isn't it funny how you can talk to someone literally everyday and you still don't know them? i told you the night that we got into this big fight i wasn't going to be in your wedding and i made it VERY cleat by also leaving all of the wedding related group chats; yet you still say in your next text that you did want me in your wedding and you'd still like for me to be, but after this you don't think i should be. it all comes back to the fact that you never listen to me or take me seriously. you tell me that you still want me there and you asked for my address so you could send a invitation. you continue and tell me that you wanted time to figure everything out and process your feelings. you say you still haven't fully figured them out but you do know that you miss me. at this point i'm filled with frustration and anger and overall feeling so fucking hurt. it just continues this feeling i've had for my whole life. the feeling that i am underwater and i am screaming and shouting for someone to hear me, to listen to my words. i cant ever catch my breath and my words go unheard and unnoticed, after all i was to be seen not heard and even then, i was to be seen rarely. i reluctantly reply to your text because i know that you're not going to stop until we finish this conversation which, i know is going to go absolutely nowhere. i reply and give you my address because who knows maybe ill turn up at the wedding and it'll be like a movie where i'm the villain, as i always am and, ill stand up and object to the wedding. mom stands up and jerks me out of the wedding and its a whole scene. i know that wont happen though because as much as i would love to be that bitch, i couldn't do that to you. i continue to tell you that i was glad that you took your time seeing as how you always think of yourself and never consider anyone else's feelings.

i tell you to send the invitation but to not hold your breath on an RSVP from me. i didn't know then why you bothered to reach out to me or why you say you miss me, especially because the last time we spoke you flew off the handle. i will say i know i also didn't keep my cool but i tried so damn hard not to explode. i have had to try my whole goddamn life to be sure i don't just explode with anger at the slightest inconvenience. at least not to be the first one to go off because if i was well, it's what everyone ever expects of me. you were always the 'left brain' and me the 'right'. you used logic and strategy where i was the creative and emotional side. i was the heart and you were the brain. everyone just expects me to be overly emotional and to constantly overreact to everything. looking back i more often than not wasn't overreacting just expressing it in a ineffective way. during this entire fight i tried my very very best to keep a grip on my emotions and my words. you replied to my text saying that yes you were putting yourself first with the tone and implication that you've never put yourself first. you then thank me for giving you my address, i scoff. you tell me that i maybe right that you don't miss me but rather the connection we had, but you're not sure. i tell you how putting yourself first and just being plain selfish are two entirely different things and unfortunately you're weren't leaning towards the latter. i continue by telling you how you've refused the whole time to see anything from any other perspective and you've lacked any kind of empathy. i had been starting to put myself first through 2021 and 2022 yet i was still empathetic. i tell you to just do what's best for you that the next time you reach out i'm not guaranteeing ill look at the message. you reply with the most confusing message you had sent so far. you used my words that i had been telling you over the last month anytime we had spoke, well lets call it what it is fought. it always started out civil enough until one of said something that inevitably caused the other to blow up. i will say that's the one sisterly thing you've always done, pushed my buttons because, like a sister you knew all of them; as did i. you tell me that you don't think you can help me if that's what i want from you. honestly i don't know what you're talking about because never once had i said i wanted anything from you other than for you to let me have my peace. you continue to say that you don't think i was empathetic to you at all and that i seemed more hostile than anything. at this point i could've burned down a building with how i was going to explode. honestly looking back with almost a years worth of growth, i'm just as angry now as i was then. i am so goddamn sick of always being painted as the villain or the bad guy just because i speak my mind and i express my feelings. i mean for fucks sake it's the whole thing i was in therapy for; to learn how to express my emotions in a healthy way. rather than harming myself and my body, i should express my thoughts and emotions with words. you continue to take my words and use them against me saying and i quote "but, like we've said over and over, i don't think there is a solution for this." see the thing is sissy, i had been telling you that since november of 2021 when this whole thing started. i reply with the last thing said between us since then. i tell you that i think it all could've been avoided had you been empathetic from the beginning but it is what it is at this point. i told you i was tired of getting a text from you every few weeks like an ex that hits you with the "i miss you. we should try this again." and that was that.

so now it's almost a full year later since that conversation and it still lights my skin ablaze with anger and hurt. see the thing i think that hurts me the most is that prior to this conversation we had a phone call about a week before thanksgiving trying to come to some kind of conclusion. i called you when i left work that night and we talked while i drove. it was raining that night and i was driving moms car because i was trying to get the insurance figured out from the guy who hit me a month prior in september. i was driving from the next town over to my future in-laws house. you were aware of that so you knew id be driving for about 45 minuets and you were aware of the conditions and you knew that i wouldn't be able to get emotional while we spoke. the entire time we were on the phone your then fiancé, now husband was there and would butt in every now and then. i didn't say anything even though it pissed me off that i couldn't just talk to you since this was between us. i will say thought as to how telling it is about your priorities and your husbands true colors. i mean all of this started because he got his feelings hurt and nobody decided to tell me until a year or so later so all i could do was apologize and promise to be better going forward. instead that wasn't enough for either of y'all. it's like you wanted me to go back in time and completely undo everything but, we both know thats impossible. i get to my fiancé's parents house and i then sit in moms car in the drive was for about thirty more minuets and my fiancé is stood outside of the car listening in but not speaking, unlike yours. it was during this point in the conversation that you said something that still to this day bothers me. you tell me that we don't really know one another anymore that we hadn't lived together in years. i scoff and remind you that we may not have been living together but we have spoke every single day for the last year. on top of that we never lost contact or anything so even when it wasn't a steady flow of conversation everyday we still spoke often enough that you knew me. i was always open and honest with you about things after all, you had been the person i went to for about anything for the longest time. i guess that was just one-sided then.

i have never really been open and honest about any kind of my feelings. i've always repressed, bottles up, and suppressed any of my emotions or feelings. i mean thats the whole reason i spent years of my life either cutting my wrists and thighs, or starving myself then throwing up whatever i ate. i hated myself and i felt so alone that honestly there was no point for me to be around anyway, i mean nobody wanted to hear a peep from me no less see me. that being said i have tried harder than ever the last almost five years to not bottle everything up. the reason? i finally have a person in my life that actually gives a fuck about me. i don't feel like you're the only person i could turn to about my demons. with that also came the fact that i was working on my communication skills as well as how to properly process my feelings. i still spoke with you frequently through out those times, well up until the last two, which means you've seen my progress. my point is sissy, you knew me. you knew me better than even my partner, after all you had watched my grow and change and, you were present for all of it. to know that you weren't comfortable with me like i was with you honestly still hurts. i considered you my best friend as well as my sister.

i may have been the person to be hurt directly by your words and actions, but you fail to see the other person you hurt too. my partner also loved you like you were their sister. you had been there for our whole relationship. we all hung out the three of us, often the four of us when your husband, then fiancé, could tag along. we played D&D together, went to conventions together, we both were there when your husband proposed. you and your husband were the only two people i had there when i proposed to my fiancé. i shared that very intimate moment with you and your husband. only to later find out that when my partner looked up at you two when i was on one knee, you and your husband looked like you didn't want to be there. you and your husband spent the entire night bickering and being passive aggressive towards one another. when i asked you about it, the reason that you guys were going back and fourth was because you hadn't had sex with your partner. you didn't want to nor did you have the time and he was unhappy about it. i mean it's not entirely my business but i mean if there was ever a red flag, it was that. all this to say that you also hurt my fiancé when this all happened. they told me months after the last text conversation we had, that they finally felt like they had a sister; and much like their brother, they were ripped away.

i do hope you think or me and i hope that you regret the things you said. i hope it eats at you inside. i hope on your wedding day that you still felt a tinge of grief. i know i do. every single day i grieve the death of people who aren't dead and, it all started with you. i miss you everyday but i know it's not you i miss. i miss the fun times we had and the connection we had, to put it like you. if you ever find this just know i think the blame for all of this is 50/50 but, i can never forgive you. you hurt more than me and i won't let someone near them that can hurt them.

-sincerely, your annoying younger sibling.

#inner child #sibling rivalry #trauma #mental illness #parental issues #sad boi hours

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ribscarvedlikebutterflies · 2 years

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matthew,

i’ll write these for the fuck of it because i know youre reading these. how i know? if you ask me, i’ll tell you. i’ll take the opportunity to just talk to you like this even though i dont want it to be this way because there’s so much i’ve been wanting to tell you. i can’t even begin. maybe i shouldnt do this at all, but i dont really give a fuck anymore.

im tired of the pushing and pulling. ive been tormented by my own self-doubt for months and im sick of it. i forgot who the fuck i was and i finally remembered not too long ago. i hate to say it, but you made me feel worthless. unlovable. disposable. and i know we both know those things arent true, but i felt it and i felt it deep and i couldnt understand it for awhile. i saw with my own eyes how you felt about me. and i still feel it now. what you showed me — your coldness, and dare i say cruelty — contradicted everything i felt deep inside of me. and i know i am never wrong. if only you knew how right i’ve been about so many things. i tried to forget so many times, tried to mend it so i wouldnt be tormented by this lack of closure, but you would not allow it, and so it persisted.

on the surface, everything looks like a losing game, but i know better. and ive been angry because i dont deserve any of this. it’s funny because i didnt feel heartbroken until i finally believed i didnt deserve this at all. this was weeks ago. i knew in my mind i didnt, but you know when you just dont realize until youre like, oh shit, actually this was fucked up. and i know you didnt realize just how fucked up it was until recently. i wasnt ashamed of how i felt about you, but i was ashamed of how strongly i believed it wasnt finished. that sense of inevitability has been haunting me since then, and i know better than to ignore my feelings.

so here are some things i wished i couldve told you to your face by now: i didnt even think to look at anyone else. i was already yours. im in love with you. i adore you.

yes, it’s that deep. i dont want to come off as too intense. i just want you to know that you didnt have to do anything to earn my love. i dont love you for what you could do for me, but just for who you are. that i cared and i still do. that i understand you have your reasons — at the same time, i wont justify them. you hurt me. bad. i didnt deserve it.

ive asked myself many times — is this really worth it? do i have to suffer everytime i love someone? cant i just forget?

but it wont stop… so im here… taking leap after leap, landing on my fucking face almost every time, but i keep going cause this shit is very very real and i’ll be damned if i dont let you know how i fucking feel about you. im not pussy !

what i want more than anything is to hug you. if i knew the last time we hugged would really be the last time, i wouldve ran back for a fourth and i wouldnt have let go. i can feel the pull in my chest now that i felt then. i want nothing more than to be in your arms.

have you ever loved someone and couldnt show them? it’s hard to find a place to put that love down. can it be done?

i pray for the day that im set free. i hope that day is soon. & no matter what, i only wish you the best.

love, zana

#for m.b.#⚔️

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xriff-raffx · 2 years

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Do Over - Chapter 1

Well after some serious procrastination here is Chapter 1

Also I should mention this is an AU Riff fic that takes place the year after the events of WSS.

Masterlist Chapter 1: Funny Kid

I put the last dish away on the shelf of our small kitchen, it will definitely take some getting used to but mama always said New York was one of the great cities. I sent Jo to the drug store on the corner so I could finish unpacking without her constant questioning. I love her but the 6 year age gap between us at times felt more like a century. Still I’m glad she has a distraction, no doubt she’d be home soon with more candy although she seemed to be taking longer than usual today.

Grabbing the broom, I begin to hum to myself as a sweep up some of the dirt from the move. I hear the door to the apartment open behind me, “Did ya get lost or something?” I ask still sweeping up.

“Something like that,” Jo says chuckling. I turn around and see she is not alone.

“Uh hi,” says the boy next to her. I stared for a moment taking in his appearance, he was tall and thin but still muscular, his clothes were covered in dirt and tears. He had his arms decorated with different tattoos and his hands were covered in bruises and cuts. I must have looked surprised because he cleared his throat causing my eyes to dart up to his face, finally meeting eye to eye. He’s definitely closer to my age so what was he doing with Jo.

“This is Riff,” Jo said gesturing to the stranger next to her. Riff didn’t take his eyes off me. I could feel my cheeks turning red as he started to smirk and look me over.

“It’s rude to stare,” he said casually walking further into the apartment before taking a seat on the couch. I looked as Jo who just smiled and watched him make himself at home in our new place.

Jo turned to me, “I ran into Riff at Doc’s. There were these guys there and they wouldn’t let me inside the store.”

I took a step towards her, “What do you mean?”

Jo took a deep breath, “Well when I was walking to Doc’s, these guys started following me and asking me questions because they hadn’t seen me before. It started out pretty normal, but then their questions stopped being nice.” A lump in my throat appeared as I watched Jo look down at the ground.

I could feel my face getting hot with anger, “What happened?” I said with a little more force than I meant to.

Our guest, who had been watching us intently from the couch, stood up, “Let’s just say it wasn’t anything a kid like her should be around.” He took a step closer and looked at me and I felt my fists clenching at his words. He seemingly noticed and his tone changed slightly softer, “Don’t worry though, she wont be bothered by those clowns again.” He walked past me to the kitchen and leaned on the counter cooly, “I took care of it.” A smirk back on his face now.

“Well thanks I guess,” I said crossing my arms before turning back to where Jo stood smiling. “You know how many times I’ve told you not to talk to strangers, this is exactly why,” I say letting my anger show in my tone.

Jo sighed, “how do you expect me to meet anyone in this city if I’m not allowed to talk to anyone?” Rolling her eyes, Jo walked to the fridge and grabbed out two apples, passing one to Riff and having a bite of the other.

I rubbed my eyes in frustration, “Do you have any idea what could have happened? You can’t just talk to any guy you see on the street, they could be dangerous!” Jo went quiet and began to look at her hands, a nervous tick she’s had since she was a child.

“She’s right ya know,” Riff said talking a bite of his apple, “Those guys are bad news, you don’t wanna be talking to the likes of them.” He replied smugly, the smirk returning to his face. He looked between Jo and I before letting out a sigh. “Well it’s been fun girls but uh I got some business to attend to,” he began to make his way to the door until I stepped in front of him, surprising myself.

“You can’t just walk away after helping my sister,” I said looking up at him, a smile appeared on his face, clearly surprised at my words. “Can I at least take a look at that for you?” I asked gesturing to his bleeding hands, “I have a first aid bag in the bathroom. Jo will you get it?” I asked not breaking eye contact with the handsome stranger. Jo disappeared down the hall to the bathroom. I turned around and pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, gesturing him to do the same.

He smirked, “so I guess it’s not much of a choice then” he stated taking a seat.

I looked at him and smiled slightly, “Well it’s the least I can do after you saved my sister.” I don’t know why my hands were starting to sweat, this guy was making me nervous. I looked away feeling my face start to flush again at the prolonged eye contact.

Jo returned throwing the bag onto the table, “I think I’m going to go into the shower,” she said to no one in particular, I hummed in response grabbing the bag and opening it. “Thanks again, Riff” she said with a smile before hopping down the hall.

Riff looked at her smiling, “she’s a good kid, funny ya know.” I smiled at his response before grabbing his hand.

I turned his hands over and started to clean the large gash on his palm, he winced slightly but returned to his normal state quickly. “Thank you for saving her,” I said quietly.

Riff shrugged, “hey no problem, I hate seeing those guys mess with kids - it’s not right. We all have rules.” I nodded taking in his words, burrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

I looked up at him, “what do you mean by we?” I asked.

He exhaled slightly, “I should probably tell ya, those guys were in a gang called The Cobras.” I felt the colour drain from my face.

“A gang?” I squeaked out, sounding more scared than I had hoped. I cleared my throat and started to bandage his hand, “Is that common? Like gangs around here?” I asked, focusing fully on his hand.

“You could say that,” he said, you could feel his eyes on you. You looked up to meet his gaze, suddenly realizing the lack of space between you. “So,” I swallowed hard, “are you in a gang?” I asked not really wanting to know the answer.

“I ain’t no Cobra, if that’s what yer asking” He responded, the smirk back on his face as he leaned back on the chair. “My guys don’t mess with kids, we gotta code ya know.”

I laughed slightly, “you don’t seem like the gang type.”

He visibly stiffened at my words, taking his hand out of my grasp her stood up quickly, “What does that mean?” he said sternly, wiping the smile off my face. His expression changed from before, once a playful look now dark. “How did you expect a gang member to be?”

I stood up slowly, “I just meant because you saved Jo”. I turned away from him looking towards the empty hallway.

I felt his hand grab my chin gently and turn my face to look at him. “Like I said I have a code,” his eyes bored into mine, searching for something. “Besides those Cobras had it comin’. They’ve been coming into our territory and stirring up trouble.” He let go of me and turned away, I felt myself let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Riff made his way towards the door, “No one will bother your sister again though, that’s a guarantee.”

He reached for the handle, “Wait!” I almost yelled. He smirked again, turning around to face me. “When can I see you again?” I asked. Where did this confidence come from?

He laughed lowly “You wanna see me again?” His smirk was plastered on his face again and his words were laced with arrogance, “I’m sure I can make that happen girly girl.” He winked and opened the door walking down the stairs of the apartment.

Oh god what just happened.

#riff west side story #wss riff #mike faist riff #mike faist fanfiction #mike faist #wss jets #wss 2021 #wss #wss fanfic #riff smut #the jets west side story #fanfic #musical

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slashingdisneypasta · 2 years

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Mr Barron x Spouse!Ymbryne!Reader || Drabble

Plot: Reader has a serious talk with Barron. Love and fear collide, and you win.

Warnings: Angst, referencing the killing of peculiar children

"And what about me?" I ask, courage rising to the top as i turn round to see him walking to the door, having thought our conversation was over. Having thought I was feeling more timid, then I am. And almost any other day he would've been right. He could have told me his plans and I would have quietly let him walk away- I would have packed up myself and the kids quietly that night and left the country without looking him in the eye.

And I'd count the days until he found us, knowing I'd kill him the same way.

But it seems my oats were laced with adrenaline this morning, and I'm rooted to the spot but my tongue is sharp.

He stops, turns around carefully, and tilts his head; A look of deep confusion on his face. Its almost funny. "Wh- I'm sorry, what?" He asks, rather bluntly.

My brows quirk up my forehead, prompting him to buck up. I need to know. Now. Please, he must love me enough to give me a head start, at least. Surely... "Will you kill me too, eventually?"

Immediately he comes forward, and his hands come for me, and I'm too weak- to back up. My words may be ready to fight but my body isn't, not when he cups my face and those familiar eyes are so earnest, so sincere, so surprised.

Why he would be surprised by my words, I have no clue.

"No," He pleads, trying to make me believe him. Pressing his forehead to mine, he traces the pads of his thumbs across my temples. "No, never. Not you... Godamnit, Y/N, you're special, you're important... I love you... I could never hurt you... " I almost do, because I desperately want to. I want to believe he truly loves me enough to keep me safe from all this, his greed and his curiosity. Because I deeply love him...

But I cant believe him. I cant believe that he could possibly have a separate part of him... for me. That he could separate me and my all this in his brain... I must believe that eventually, he would get desperate and they would merge, and I would get destroyed. Even if it was true and by some miracle his intentions towards me were entirely pure, I cant afford to. I have my kids to focus on, and their survival depends on me believing that he's totally, and irreversibly evil... from every, crevice.

"And my kids?" As I was thinking, hardening my heart towards him, I had removed my gaze from his; Looked down. But now I flick my eyes back up to his, and watch the inevitable wobble.

And inevitable, it is. He hesitates, holding eye contact for a good moment but looking more as if he were on the defensive... rather then if he were about to assure me.

"Uh- Uh... U-U-Um, well-" He looks away and I take in a deep breath, pulling away from him. "We- Well Y/N, come on, Spitfire, I- I, I have to do this. Hey, I promise if I don't have to, I wont come near your kids. But I... well, I... "

"You cant promise me that if have to, you wont." I finish for him, stepping back entirely. Entering new air, air that isn't suffocated by him. Theirs venom in my voice clear as day and it makes him look at me different, a trace of poison entering his eyes as well.

"Look, Y/N... " He comes forward again, and I back up but he follows me all the way to the wall. I take a deep breath, shoulders rising, as he comes in close again but I don't look away- or back down. This is about my kids! I cant afford to be weak right now, despite my heart beating frantically in my chance. "I've worked too hard for this. The plan is in motion... I cant just go oops! Nevermind!" His voice is gentle, but deadly and mocking, and I narrow your eyes at him for it. Which he shrugs at, careless. "Sorry."

I peer up into his eyes now, searching for even a trace of good. Something other then apathy and greed... But I know its not there. "You really want this that much? You want to live forever no matter the cost?"

A forced grin is pasted to his lips, then. "Well, almost." And his hands land on my waist.

My eyes flash, looking from those to his eyes. "Oh, no." He doesn't love me enough to save my kids- my life- but he loves me enough to want to keep me? How dare he-

"Come on... "He tilts his head, apparently all-too-comfortable in his evil. "Where'd my timid little Spitfire go?"

I'm still here, my love whispers. I'm scared to death, my fear screams, as well. Even my anger growls out a gravelly I don't have the luxury right now. But my heartbreak is what gets to my tongue first.

"Where did my husband, go?"

At that, he seems to sober up a little bit; Straightening his shoulders from the dangerous hunched way they sat leaning over me before, and flashing me a cautious look. As if telling me to watch myself.

I touched a nerve.

"He's right goddamn here, cant you see 'em?"

I'm reaching up to his hair before I even realise it, threading my fingers through the crazy white strands. "I see him... " I say softly, seeing his eyes soften as well in my peripheral vision. His shoulders relaxing as my hands land carefully on them, the material of his coat rough under my touch. "... But I you have to understand... " I plead this time, exchanging that crucial eye contact with him for what could be, hopefully is, the last time. Because if it happens again, one of us will have to kill the other and I don't want that. "I cant be with him."

Then I transform, before his grip can clamp down on me and keep me there- growing out my wings and shrinking down in stature, and hearing him shout a curse before I fly right out the window.

#Mr Barron x Reader #Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children x Reader #Mr Barron x Reader Drabble #Mr Barron #Miss Peregrines Home For Peculiar Children Mr Barron x Reader #MPHFPC Mr Barron #MPHFPC x Reader

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swtki · 3 years

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Dancing Days - Edward Cullen x Reader Smut

Anonymous said: 19&24 on edward smut? love ur writing!

A/N: Thank you so much :) also I’m so happy everyone is h*rny for Eddy. I decided I want to explore more period times with Edward, changing his persona in a certain decade, but still ultimately being in the same universe as cannon. This will play into the readers character a tad bit.

WARNINGS: 18+ CONTENT, SWEARING, S*X, VAMPIRES, ORAL SEX (MALE RECIEVING), VIRGIN! EDWARD, NON VIRGIN READER, GENDER NEUTURAL READER, MENTIONS OF WAR AND DEATH.

19: “Fuck me like you want people to know”.

24. “Thing is, I’m a virgin”.

_______________________________________

I brushed my hair into its usual part, making sure I looked flawless. The year was 1976, I was a senior in Highschool. It was a wonderful time to be a teenager, no longer afraid that my friends would die in Vietnam. Even in my dinky little Washington town, the culture was becoming our own.

The Led Zeppelin record playing on my record player stopped suddenly, alerting me that I was no longer alone in my room. I turned, my expression soft as I saw my boyfriend, Edward.

“Whats up with you and this album? Everytime I come in, its always House of Th Holy on repeat.” I rolled my eyes, lifted the record in question off of the tray, and put it back snuggly in its case.

“I can’t help it, Ed. Robert just speaks to me. I’m sure you’re like that with Louis Armstrong.” I waved my hand, walking back to my mirror to finish getting ready.

“Maybe, but the music you listen to it’s...” Edward paused for a moment, sitting on my bed. “It’s suggestive, Y/N.” I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.

“Suggestive? What’s that supposed to mean?” I placed my hands on my hips, and waited for him to explain.

“Well, for one that one song says ‘Sipping booze’, I quite think that is blatant alcohol reference.” I looked at him, dumbfounded. Then, I started to laugh, and I walked over to him. Instinctually, he pushed his head into my chest, enjoying the comfort it brought him.

“I love you, but god are we from two different Mars.” He chuckled, sending a rumble through my chest.

At school, I was an average kid. Fair grades, many friends, many ex friends. When Edward was paired up with me in math, I got through his cold, stone skin. At first, he was annoyed when I would fuck off, leaving him to do the work himself. Understandable, and once I realized how rude I was, I stopped. I talked to him, prodded him truthfully. I would ask him once we started dating if he had noticed me previously, because I had never noticed him.

“Yes, I noticed that you were the only one who didn’t acknowledge me. Ironic I guess.”

A year into our relationship, I would never let him go unnoticed. We walked the halls, hand in hand. Our outlooks were so different when it came to life. He was modest, I was free spirited. Edward was different from my boyfriends previously, I didn’t want to fuck things up, and I refused to even risk it.

School went slowly that day, possibly because my head was focused on what I would ask Edward, my boyfriend of one year, about sex. About us and sex.

I hadn’t told him that I wasn’t a virgin, I was worried he would only want a virgin girl, after all they can never look at you disappointed and say “I’ve had better.” A definite plus. Many a nights I tried to imagine him, moaning completely under my control. I wanted him, but I didn’t know if he wanted me. Surely in 50 years he had found a good fuck. I worried that he would be into someone else, forever tied to a vampiress.

The end of the school day couldn’t have come sooner, my anxiety rising as I got into Edwards car, starting a long silent car ride. I tried to keep my mind off of it, an attempt to avoid the conversation until we were at my house. I kept my mind busy with the lush scenery outside of the passenger side window.

“So... I know you want to ask me, and I know the answers to what I would ask you.” He said blatantly, putting the car in park outside my front lawn.

“I don’t wanna talk out here Ed, lets go inside.” I swung my bag onto my shoulder. Thats the thing with Edward, I never have to say anything, just as long as I think it.

My house was empty, making it easy for Edward to follow me upstairs to my room. I shut my door behind us, then turned to him. Unsure of what to say, I breathed in deeply.

“How long have you known that I wasn’t...you know?” He smiled, sitting on my plush navy sheets.

“Y/N, I knew before I met you what I was getting into. Your ex had a lot of thoughts about that one night where you guys-”

“Oh my god okay ew.” A blush rose upon my face, and I saw Edward laugh as he watched my body fill with embarassment. “Well why didn’t you say something?” I asked.

“I figured if it needed to be brought up, it would be. You and I aren’t exactly a physical couple so I didn’t worry too much.” I walked over to my bed, taking a seat next to him.

“I see...I mean it wouldn’t be a big deal for me so if you want to...” I bit my lip at him, his gaze turned to the other direction.

“Thing is, I’m a virgin.” My expression went from a seductive look, to a puzzled one. I wondered if I had heard him correctly. “I’m old school, Y/N. It wasn’t like how it is now when I was human. People didn’t just have sex in highschool, unless they were married because the man was off to war. So, it hasn’t been on the menu for me. You’re the first girl I’ve dated in fifty years, you know. And no, there was no vampiress or anything.” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t wanna scare you or push it or anything. It’s just you know-”

“You want to touch me, to be touched by me.” his eyes trailed back to mine, looking deep into my soul.

“Yes, I want you, Edward.” I pressed my lips to his, pulling away jut as it got intense. I could feel his disappointment. “I want to...but I can’t let you down. Tomorrow night. I’ll call you and we can talk about everything we want out of it, I’ll give you a fucking fairytale, my love” I chuckled.

I called him that night as I had said I would. We talked about my first time, and everything I liked, followed by what he had seen on video, what he wanted to try, and his fears.

“I don’t want to kill you, darling.” He said.

“Then don’t. I won’t let you.” He laughed at me, enjoying my lack of seriousness.

The next night rolled along with a quick pace. I looked at the clock and saw that it was time for me to start getting ready.

I made myself look simple, a small bit of makeup and hair product, but otherwise just a tank top and jeans. Sometimes, dating an old fashioned guy was a pain in the ass. Always complaining about suggestive behavior. But other times, my shoulders counted as being half nude.

“You look stunning, as per usual.” Edward said, stepping into my room. He was tense and barely moved. “I don’t know what to do..what usually happens with it if I’m not the one doing everything.”

If he had any blood flow, he would have been blushing right about then.

“We don’t have to do anything you know. We can just lay down and watch a movie if you want to, I just want to make you happy, Edward.” I walked over to him and put a strand of his messy auburn hair behind his ear. Without hesitation, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I want to, thats the part that’s been eating me away ever since I met you. I want to make you feel good, I just don’t know if I’ll lose it and-“ I cut him off with a kiss.

“Even if you break my pelvis into pieces, I’ll still be happy. I’m always happy when I’m with you.” we both smiled, and suddenly the thick tension that once filled the room vanished. “I’ll take care of you tonight, just as long as you’re doing it for you. I just need to know you’re doing this for you, and you need to be sure you wont roll over afterwards and hate me.” I said, my hand clasped in his marble one.

“I want you, Y/N. I have no doubts that I’ll want you afterwards, too.”

I pushed his head down, level to my own. Our kiss was deep, filled with a years worth of hunger. My hands tugged on his hair, making him whimper. Suddenly, I felt my feet lift off the ground as Edward carried me to my bed. With a soft thump, the plush sheets surrounded my body. It was a contrast of warmth on my back, and Edwards cool body on my top.

His hands were balled into fists, clutching my duvet as if his life depended on it. I pulled away, panting for air.

“Sorry, I forget you need air.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes in response.

“Well, its a shame you don’t. Because I intend on taking your breath away.” we both made small laughs at my remark.

“What now?” He looked at me for guidance.

“Get on your back.” I said.

We switched positions, he was now on the bottom. My legs straddled his torso, I sight he visably enjoyed. I slithered my hands up to his head, cupping his face as I kissed him again. My left hand left its post, reaching down to the buttons on his shirt.

I paused, looking up at him once I got to the last button.

“Does it...work like normal or...” He threw his head back and laughed.

“It doesn’t have spikes, I can assure you its just like a humans. But Emmet did tell me to pull out so...I’m kind of worried about the implications of that but-“ I leaned down to shut him up with a kiss.

His hands were still at his side, resting on the bed. I picked up his wrists, and placed them on the side of my thighs. He squeezed them lightly.

My hands roamed over his bare chest, cool to the touch. I lached my lips onto his neck, causing his back to arch below me. I could feel his excitement beneath me, it gave me a big self esteem boost. His hand reached along my waist, tugging at my shirt. His eyes lit up at the sight of my bare chest. He reached for me but I pulled away to slide down onto my knees.

He looked confused, like I had left him high and dry.

“Sit on the edge.” I said softly, my knees burning slightly due to the rough carpet underneath them.

He rid himself of the unbottoned shirt, slidding over to me once finished. My hands slowly stroked his thighs, he was desperate for some type of touch.

I smiled, tugging on his belt until it came undone. He stayed silent, looking at me like I was the only thing in the world. I unbottoned the trousers, tugging on them. He kicked them off and was left in his breifs.

“Is it okay if I..” I looked up at him and he nodded frantically. I palmed him over his underwear, feeling how hard he had gotten from kissing. My fingers latched onto the waist band, pulling them down to reveal a pale yet pink cock. It wasn’t too big, but deffinitley satisfactory. I ran my finger over the tip, earning a small groan from the vampire. My eyes trailed up to him, so I could see him when I took him in my mouth.

He let out a breathy moan, eyes focused on my mouth. His lips were parted ever so slightly. I bobbed my head, and grotesquely sexual sounds arose from my throat. I felt Edward move a strant of hair out of my face, he looked at me like I was a god.

“Fuck..Y/N if you keep doing that there wont be anything for you, dear” He said in a breathy moan. I pulled back, my mouth feeling sore and tired. “Do you still want to?” He asked, grasping his hands on my waist.

“Yes, I fucking need you.” I threw off my jeans, I would worry about finding them later, I needed him. He layed back down, propping his head up on my pillows. Our lips collided in another kiss as I leveled myself with him.

“Are you sure?” I ask him, stroking his hard member.

“I’m sure.” He pecked my lips again as I got ontop of his lean figure. I spat in my hand, lubing up my needy hole.

“How do you want me to do this? I mean like slow? What do-“ He said with genuine worry.

“Fuck me like you want people to know” I whispered, “ Fuck me like you want the entire neighborhood to know that I’m yours and yours only.”

“I can make that happen, love.” He flipped me over, now being back to where we first started. He lined up his cock with my hole, running it around the tight area. I put my fingers in his hair, making a slight tug as he pushed into my body.

Pleasure filled my body as he filled me up, his cock stretched my insides in the right ways. Without pausing, he started to push his hips into mine, making sure not to hurt me.

He reached down to suck on my neck, adding to the pornagraphic moans in the room. My hands travled to his back, scratching my nails down the cold stone like skin. His moans echoed in my ear.

“Y/N, I can’t be on top I’m going to crush you” I laughed at him, tapping his side so he fell onto the bed. I swung my legs over him, sitting on his perfect cock.

“Perfect, fucking amazing.” He said as I steady myself onto him. His face was in a euphoric expression, the most relaxed I had ever seen him.

I began to rock my hips, sliding him in and out of me. His hands grabbed onto my hips, guiding me. Everything was a euphoric experience. My gut filled with that wonderful sensation.

“Edward I’m gonna cum, oh my god” I moaned out, picking up my pace.

Suddenly, the world went still. My eyes went black and I saw stars as my orgasm washed over me. My moans echoed in the room as my body twitched. A few thrusts up into my body and Edward pulled out of me, rubbing his cum out onto his hand.

I layed there panting while he sped to the bathroom, and came back with a clean cloth, wiping down my body. He put the cloth down, pulling up his underwear and handing me mine. I slipped the fabric on, slipping under the covers.

“Get in here, I wanna kiss you”

He laughed, obeying and slipping beside me. Our lips reunited in a soft clash.

“I love you so much, dear.”

#edward cullen #edward cullen x reader smut #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen smut #robert pattinson smut #robert pattinson #twilight shitpost #twilight headcanon #headcannons twilight #twilight fanfic #jasper hale x reader #jasper hale fanfic #carslile cullen #esme cullen

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scaramoucheslove · 3 years

Note

Oo hello!! I discovered your Albedo fic while on my scroll, and sheeesh 😫😫 made me feel things,,,,, but I digress, could I request how Xiao or Albedo would deal with a bratty sub?

And,, if I may,, could I be 🏵 anon? ;0

A/N: Hi, Love! Tysm for your support <33 I actually thought no one liked or even read the Albedo smut lolol. Also yes ofcc!! Hello my first anon :D also I’m gonna make this as a HC/drabble thingy hehe

also I’m so sorry if it’s shitty aaa

How they would deal with a bratty sub (HCs)

(Xiao, Albedo)

What to expect: Rough shit, Petnames, Dacryphilia, Overstimulation, Degradation, Dumbification, facefucking, Exhibition kink pls tell me if I miss anything ^^

Smut beneath the cut

XIAO

· Really easy to get on his nerves tbh.

· Would definitely not tolerate your behaviour. Especially if you’ve been good.

· “Stop. Behave.”

· His punishments would lowkey highkey hurt </3

· He’ll give you the rough treatment, choking, marking, overstim, you name it. Maybe even toys??

· D E G R A D A T I O N <33 you will be hearing no praise from this man.

· Humiliation too omgomgomg

· DUMBIFICATIONNN AA

· Will most likely use the name “Pet” “Doll” “Bitch” “Slut” “Whore” etc

· And you’ll have to call him master in bed, but today we’re going to pretend that you just didn’t feel like it.

· “Tsk, seems like my pet is misbehaving again”

· I feel like he wouldn’t like physical roughness as much, since he’s not much of a sadist. But if he felt the need to remind you of what your position was, then he’d probably only go as far as spanking.

· If you cry, he’ll humiliate you for it

· “Are you crying? Where’s your act now, brat? Continue counting.”

· Deep down, he loves lives to see you cry.

· He’d continue to overstimulate you with his mouth, fingers, and dick until you were begging, crying, screaming, thrashing.

· He’d mark almost every part of your body

· He WILL choke you and bite your neck as he’s pushing himself inside of you.

· Mans has no patience, will go ALL out on you. Who cares if his hands and tongue were too much anyways? You were the one who wanted to act like a brat.

· “If you don’t keep that little mouth shut, I’m going to stuff your slutty mouth with my dick you whore.”

· And if you keep pushing his buttons? He would.

· Completely facefuck you until you’re all fucked out, crying and out of breath.

· He loves to see himself in your throat.

· The type to hold your nose while he shoves his dick down your throat <3

· Not the best at aftercare, but he still tries his best.

· Will apologize to you even if it’s half assed, gets you cleaned up, and brews you a nice cup of tea.

· You probably drifted off to sleep already once he brought you tea.

· Will smile and hold you close and even though he doesn’t sleep, he would still just lie on the bed and appreciate every moment with you.

“Xia- Master- ah- please” you didn’t even know what you were begging for now. For him to stop? For more? You didn’t know. What you do know is you’ve been begging for over an hour now, your voice was hoarse and tired after all your screaming. Your eyes were watery and begging for forgiveness. But alas, it went from one ear to another. The room sounded so sinful. The two of your sweaty bodies collided, your arms clinging onto his neck as he continues to pound into you. Faster. And harder. “Stop. Fucking. Shouting.” He said while he thrusts in every word. Annoyance clear in his voice. “Shut up and take it, will you?” He said before moving his arms from your hips to your neck and applying pressure. “Dumb little sluts like you don’t even deserve anything from the likes of me.” Seeing your drooled up face, he couldn’t help but say “Look at you all drooled up, doll. You look so stupid like this. Who else can fuck you stupid like I do?” “O-only you mas-ter” you managed to say. He smiled momentarily before his other hand reaches your clit to rub it as your mouth fell open. Fighting the urge to call you his good girl.

ALBEDO

· I’M IN MY ALBEDO FEELS PLSS

· He’d just be like 🤨🤨.

· Usually completely unaware and uninterested so he’d continue to do his work.

· You have to be a real brat to really test his limits.

· I think he wont be rough intentionally. He’s just rough without realizing he is. Even on your daily sex life.

· OKOK NOW if you DO manage to break him somehow, here’s some of the punishments he’ll prolly do.

· Humiliation.… degradation… bc chile… he ain’t much of a talker but SHEESH if he dirty talks it’s over. Oh but he won’t go too far. I hope..

· He also sometimes uses you to help with his experiments.

· Spanks, chokes, slaps, and other physical things but not too roughly, just for “research purposes.” And sometimes for punishments too if you ever got too out of hand.

· Loves to see you tied up tbh <33 really likes to see you all helpless.

· Gags on occasions (if he’s working on an experiment or punishment and he’s not in the mood to hear you moan or make a noise or anything)

· Dumbification?? without him realizing it?>@>@*&^$^$%

· Petnames <33 plspls i beg u call him sir or master bc that’s such an ego boost for him. I mean you don’t have to but like,, why wouldn’t you.

· Also loves the thrilling feeling of someone catching you two.

· Toys,, sometimes.

· Imagine being a brat in your daily life and one day he just snaps.

· As he was doing his work, you, being the brat you are continued to test his limit. From asking him dumb questions to “accidentally” smashing/destroying his experiments.

· He just sighed, cleared his table and said,

· “Y/N. Come here.”

· You would be so shocked that you froze in your spot.

· He never really paid attention to your actions, just casually answering your questions from time to time.

· “I said, come here.”

· His voice was stern, but calm.

· “Don’t make me come over there myself.”

· You, along with your shaking legs, were slowly making your way towards him.

· “Sit on my lap.”

· You did as you were told. Hell you were too scared to do anything he didn’t say you could.

· “Say, did you know the things you broke?”

· You just shooked your head as your legs kept shaking.

· “Since you don’t know how to keep your hands to yourself, I’m gonna force you to keep it to yourself, brat.”

· OOP I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE IT AS A HC LMAOO IDK I’LL CONTINUE IN THE DRABBLE LMAO

. Anyways probably kinda good with aftercare.

. Will apologize if he’s too rough and shower you with attention. If you’re lucky enough, he’ll skip his work that day and the day after to spend a day or two to make it up to you.

Albedo continues his ministrations on you. “Master- fuck slow down” you panted. Your hands tied above your head. you were sprawled on his table as Albedo continues to insert 2 fingers inside and out of you. “Oh? Were you not searching for my attention then dear?” He inserted another finger as you whimpered. “You were the one who happened to mess with my experiments, after all.” “But I-“ you didn’t manage to say anything else before he has his tongue on your clit. He had kept your legs open with a tool so you had no power against him. “Albedoo~” You whine once more which caused his other gloved hand to slap your clit. You flinched a bit, but fuck that felt good. He stopped moving his hands and said “You better be quiet before I gag that mouth of yours.” He continued to thrust three fingers in and out of you again as you rolled your eyes back and moaned. “Fuck, you look so dumb, doll. You look so pretty like this.” You heard the door knock and you immediately looked at Albedo while shaking your head. “Come in” you heard him say. A man went inside the room and stood still with some files in his hands and clearly distracted on whatever was on the paper. “Sir, we have a prob-“ Once he saw what was going on, he looked a bit terrified. “Continue. What is the problem?” Albedo asked calmly as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. They continued to talk about some things you couldn’t register because you were slowly losing your mind little by little, although the man did sound a bit flustered. By the time they were finished, Albedo just said his thanks and told him to close the door. His mouth latched onto your clit once again surprisingly fast and your mouth fell open. You were sure drool was everywhere. “I’m going to keep going until you’re all brainless and unconscious. But before I do-“ just as about you were about to reach your high, he pulled out his fingers and gave you a look. You whined at the lost of contact. “You better be ready, my love.” That was all he needed to say before you realized, you were in for one hell of a ride.

STOP OMFG I DIDN’T MEAN TO MAKE ALBEDO’S LONG I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED THE CHILDE SMUT I’M WORKING ON

#Xiao smut #albedo smut #Genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact albedo #albedo #xiao #genshin impact xiao #smut lol #❄ anon

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nyashykyunnie · 3 years

Note

Might as well hope on the bandwagon. May I please request a Father Xiao scenarios? Maybe his child can be a half-adeptus like ganyu (Child auto-corrected to Childe when I was typing this xD)

A/N: took me awhile to think of a Xiao hc cuz I was tryna choose between some scenarios AHWHEGW Also SAME, MY PHONE AUTCORRECTS INTO CHILDE ALL THE TIME AHAHAGAGSG AND YES XIAO HAVING A HALF-BLOOD CHILD EEE NGL HE GONNA BE EXTRA PROTECTIVE AHADHJADGS I’m so excited for this ehehh. Also tyvm for the req!!! I hope you enjoy this anon!! Btw this was supposed to be for three charas but I got carried away with xiao so ahah,.... Woops =w=;;

𝙵𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛! 𝕏𝕚𝕒𝕠 x 𝙶𝙽! 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍! ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

. 　﹢　˖ 　✦ ¸ .　﹢　 ° 　¸. ° ˖ ･ ·̩　　｡　☆　　　ﾟ＊　｡　☆ ✦˖

Having a child, with his own blood running through your veins, you being the spitting image of him- Was the last thing Xiao could ever imagine ever happening to him.

It’s understandable that he was really shocked to know you are his. Xiao is, after all, the Conqueror Of Demons. He is more than used to being in battle, always being on high alert and ready to slash any enemy down since it isone of his duties as the Vigilant Yaksha who protects Liyue.

Xiao was very cautious around you. With your small and fragile body, he feared that even touching you was enough to kill you. The Wangshu Inn keeper had to teach him ‘how’ to hold you because Xiao’s fear of holding you might just make him stay ten feet away from you at all costs.

He watches over you from afar, always ready to strike at whatever dares to bring you harm.

Though, most of the time, the yaksha is always leaving you to Verr Goldet’s care so he can fulfill his duties. It was fine at first- Until Verr had to talk to Xiao about it. He told him that he shouldn’t be too focused on that job.

She told him the possibilities of his constant negligence of you, she told him you might grow “Deprived From Fatherly Affection”. Xiao was shocked of course, he didn’t really know that.

He felt guilty, he was so blinded by not wanting to inflict any form of harm on you, he didnt expect that it’ll inevitably lead you to growing some unwanted mindsets and habits.

Xiao isn’t really one for affection, there’s no need to explain that. Majority of his skills are more on the ‘slaughter’ and ‘exorcise’ expertise.

Regardless, he is not just a protector of Liyue now, he is a ‘father’ now. Specifically your father. This new responsibility isn’t something he will run away from.

Don’t expect much from him though. Xiao is still hesitant to some extent, he’s trying to figure out how he will interact with you.

Unlike him, you’re fragile. More fragile than glass. He’s afraid of exerting accidental force that will lead him to hurting you. You’re just too small- so small can’t even reach pass his knees(Please this yaksha is just overthinking too much)

Baby steps, that’s what he’ll do. Slow and steady so he wont be too overwhelmed.

He starts off by simply talking to you, maybe even playing with you for a bit with enough begging. Xiao slowly got used to handling you as time went by. Verr was even suprised at one point when she saw Xiao handling you during your tantrums.

Xiao made good progress with you. He didnt even know that he was unconciously getting attached to you, he didnt know that he adored your presence. He didn’t realize that he gets a little frustrated when he needs to leave you behind. Xiao developed his ‘father instincts’ to such a level to the point that he sometimes wished his Yaksha responsibilties were less demanding.

When you are trouled with nightmares- Xiao will put some stuff to wardoff evil. Though, he also heard that child mortals are more effectively comfoted if they are sung a lullaby, so he’ll do that. Just... Don’t tell anyone else or that will be your last (maybe)

The immortal sometimes even comes home with new clothes since he knew that children grow and he wouldn’t want to see you struggling with the small fit ofyour clothing. He also makes sure to put some spells on them too to ward off evil.

Xiao unconciously spoils you, his mind always drifting; ‘Maybe they’ll like something like that. Mortal children I’ve seen are fond of those stuff’. Naturally, he’ll make a way to afford that small gift for you. If he cant, then he’ll just learn how to make it himself.

He loves you, he just doesnt know how to convey that. Being an adepti, being raised as a machine for war- Love wasn’t something he is great at. But even if it’s that, he’ll still strive for you secretly. Xiao will no doubt make the most descreet efforts to adore you. He still doubts himself even after all the progress he’s made in becoming close to you.

“Silk Flowers!” You squeel in delight as you spotted a bouquet of it from afar. You dash off from Xiao’s side, making the adepti startled and call out your name.

But still you were a child, of course you just kept running and running until the ground beneath you rumbled at what seems like caused from footsteps. Your feet wobbled and almost knocked you off of your feeting. Then it stopped, a huge shadow looming over your small figure. You look up only to have the color of your face drained.

“D-Daddy!” You cried out in absolute horror, falling down to the ground. You were terrified, how could you not? Monsters were real, and one of those monsters was about to murder you in cold blood. “Daddy! Help!”

Just at the beast was about to swing it’s flaming axe towards you- The wind shifted, as if slicing through the air and knocking back the mitachurl.

“How dare such filthy demon dare to even make their presence in front of my child, let alone even dare to strike!” Xiao growled, his eyes flaming gold from raw fury as he walked with the air dancing violently around him. “ I’ll make you pay”

Xiao’s voice was flooded with resentment, his primodial jade radiated as it felt it’s master’s sudden abundance in power. He spun it as his Yaksha mask formed in his face. At the roar of the enemy, Xiao leapt forward, striking the demon in overwhelming speed. He moved so fast it’s too the point the mitachurl wasn’t given any chance to react. But was it done? No, not even a little bit. That demon frightened you to the point your voice faltered in calling him. He has seen you in tears but never to this extent. Xiao was fuming as he plunged down, his anemo spears stabbing the enemy with no hint of sympathy.

When he finally finished the kill, Xiao’s mask disintegrated and immediately walked to your crying state. He clicked his tounge, feeling a huge pang in his heart as he saw you this disheveled.

“Da-daddy!” You wailed, reaching your arms out for him desperately as your tears clouded your eyes. “Waah!”

He wanted to scold you, he really did. But the sight of you crying like this made the words stuck in his throat. Xiao instead lifted you in his arms, letting you bury your face on the crook of his neck and sob freely. You soaked his shoulder and Xiao didn’t complain, he just rubbed your back to let you know he is there.

“Does anywhere hurt?” His nonlachant voice rung in your ears softly, stealing your attention. “If there is, better tell me now or those wounds will cause further damage in you.”

“[Y-y/n] is bad.” You hicupped. “[Y/N] is so bad daddy is now ou-ouchie. Daddy now hates [Y-Y/N]”

“Hate? You mortals have odd ways of thinking” Xiao sounded a little rough, making you flinch. “Don’t be ridiculous, I would never bear such hostility towards you. Moreover, I’m not hurt. I’ve lived for thousands of years, pain is something minimal for an adepti such as myself.”

He scoffed.

“On the other hand, your life is counted by only one hand. You have yet to experience what life will truly bring you.” Xiao’s voice started to soften bit by bit as he softly squeezes your small body towards him more “However, I am your father. If darkness decides to crawl at your feet and even when you are frigthened of what’s ahead- Call out my name. I’ll always be there.”

“Da-daddy promises?” You look up to stare at his amber orb. “Daddy will make monsters go bye-bye?”

“Yes” He simply answered. “Now stop your noisy crying, we’re going back to eat.”

He appears cold, his way of talking always straight to the point, but still he loves you. Adeptus Xiao, the guardian yaksha, his power will not simply be used in order to slaughter the darkness creeping around Liyue. With his Vision and might as Alatus, the Golden-Winged King,... He will protect you at all costs and raise you no matter how he is troubled regarding his difficulty in making much of emotions.

You are one his greatest gifts, a treasure he will sincerely hold in his heart forevermore. It doesn’t matter if his karmic binds attack him, he will venture out of it for you.

A/N: AIGHHTT AAAA ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITTING FOR XIAO HNNN, Did I do good??? AAAA I DUNNO AHDKSGF. I hope you all liked it hngghhhh ;___; Also I’m sorry for being inactive a lot AAAAA, school is starting to get mre and more demanding. I have more hcs upcoming so dw! I wont end up completely turning into a dead ghost!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin fic #genshin imagines #genshin xiao #vigilant yaksha #xiao x reader #xiao x gender neutral reader #xiao #adeptus xiao

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limerenze · 2 years

Text

the last time - adrian pucey

[Adrian Pucey x Fem!Reader]

masterlist

Summary; adrian and y/n are stuck in a cycle that cannot be ended

Word Count; 3.6k

A/N; okay. at what point do the amount of taylor song fics become too much? also i was stuck on this for so long then i got covid and finished it <3 <3 <3

i wrote on my last fic that my new year resolution was not to write as many song fics and i’ve already broken that so the next fic WONT be a song fic i promise.

and i have to dedicate this to my absolute muse- without her this fic would’ve never seen the light of day, @loverssfevers i love u

Warnings; angst, post hogwarts

Dates Written; January 2nd - January 10th, 2022

Part of her hoped he would be next to her when she woke up. And that part was much bigger than she was willing to admit.

Every time he left, every day he was gone- every morning she woke up alone, the faith she had that he would return got less and less.

And just when that faith was ready to burn out, just when she was ready to put her foot down and put an end to all the sorrow. There he was.

It was as if Adrian knew that if he was gone just one more day, he would lose her. And so he came back. It was as if he always knew.

Y/N didn’t know how he always knew. It wasn’t as if she could tell him, even if she wanted to, she couldn’t. They didn’t speak when he was away. It wasn’t something either of them ever brought up, they just didn’t.

Y/N and Adrian were in the seventh year when the quidditch scouts had come to Hogwarts. Madam Hooch hadn’t given the house teams much notice. One day it was to be a normal game against Hufflepuff and the next it was the biggest, most important game of Adrian’s quidditch career.

Adrian had gone absolutely ballistic with only just under two weeks to prepare for the game.

Graham Montague was their captain that year. The two were quite good mates, but from the moment Madam Hooch had told them about the scouts to the moment the match was over- Adrian loathed him.

He wasn’t taking it seriously, was Adrian the only one who cared?

The Slytherin team was a joke that year.

Himself, Montague, Warrington, Bletchly, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle?

It was their first year without Flint. And it was a disaster.

Adrian hadn’t played Quidditch on the house team in two years at that point. He was a little rusty, but during those two weeks, it seemed he was the only one on the team with a brain.

Cassius and Graham had no interest in going into professional quidditch after Hogwarts. Malfoy and his two chums were never ones to overtly stress over their matches. The only time Draco cared whether they won or lost was when they played against Gryffindor. How they even made the team was beyond Adrian.

It wasn’t that Adrian thought they were bad players, not at all. Draco was an ace seeker, when he wanted to be. Adrian even considered begging Malfoy to put his all into their match so they would win, but decided his pride was worth more. Adrian was never particularly fond of the blonde boy.

However, Miles agreed with Adrian, Miles wanted to make a good impression, the two boys just wanted a chance. They were willing to work for it, but that would mean nothing if their teammates wouldn’t do the same.

Y/N tried everything to get Adrian to loosen up during those two weeks. She would tell him how bad stress is for the body, and how all he can do is play his best.

She thought it was helping, until one day- just days before the match, Adrian’s patience broke and he shouted at her in the great hall.

“Do you ever stop talking? No! really, every time you’re around it’s like I can’t hear myself think!” he snapped, his eyes wide and his- normally neat, hair was poking up in all different directions. “Just go!”

Y/N’s eyes were immediately glossy as everyone in a 15-foot perimeter stopped what they were doing and looked over at the two. She stayed in her spot next to him, just long enough to search for any sign of guilt or regret in Adrian’s eyes.

When she saw none, she got up to leave the great hall with her sight trained to the ground.

To make it worse, just as she was about to make her clean getaway from the hall of humiliation- she crashed into Draco Malfoy. “Watch where you’re going, Y/L/N!”

And when she looked up at him to apologize, even his eyes softened with regret when he saw her state.

Y/N didn’t like to think about that day. But still, as she sat alone in her flat, she couldn’t help it.

It had gotten so bad, that if it weren’t for the Montrose Magpies game schedule she had, she wouldn’t even know where Adrian was.

The worst was when she would check it, just out of sheer curiosity- only to find out they didn’t even have a game that day. And she was left to her imagination to think about what he was up to.

Adrian didn’t talk to her after that day in the great hall, not until after the match.

No matter how much his friends pestered him to, even Malfoy. And Draco was never one to poke his head into other peoples personal business. Adrian would just scowl at him until he left him alone.

She felt bad for bothering Adrian during the most stressful time for him. Her friends comforted her when she busted into her common room with splotchy tear marks on her cheeks, then she had to talk them out of hexing Adrian.

She didn’t try and speak to him after that, and he didn’t try to speak to her.

He felt bad, of course he did. But he didn’t have time to feel bad. When he wasn’t in class or eating or sleeping- he was on the quidditch pitch. And when the quidditch pitch wasn’t available, he was in the library working on plays.

He didn’t realize the impact his words and actions- or lack thereof, had on his sweet girl. Not until he was in uniform, flying out into the pitch and his eyes darting around the stands.

Adrian scanned every face in attendance, biting back a nervous smile when he saw a group of grown men he’d never seen before sitting together- noting that they must’ve been the scouts.

His smile was long gone once he realized she didn’t come.

Y/N was sitting in on her bed, the curtains were drawn open and her dormmates all sat on their respective beds as well. She had a novel open in front of her but it was forgotten as they practised their Patronus charms in the middle of their room.

It was her friends who assured her she didn’t need to feel guilty about missing Adrian’s match, especially after he made no attempt to apologize.

And that evening Adrian felt he had never played worse.

He was overtly aware that there were people in the stands, judging his every move. Adrian was an excellent chaser- he knew that. But his hands were sweaty and were slipping all along the handle of his broomstick.

He should’ve worn gloves.

He hurled a quaffle towards the rings- and although it made it past the Hufflepuff keeper, a sharp pain shot through his body as his muscles strained near his right-side ribcage.

He should’ve stretched more.

To everyone watching, Adrian was flying as swiftly and graciously as always. But to Adrian, it was as if he had forgotten everything he knew about it. He felt uncoordinated and as if it was his first time mounting one.

And in the end, they lost. It was a narrow loss, Hufflepuff was a tough team- everyone knew it. But that didn’t make Adrian feel any better.

“You played brilliantly, mate” Graham had said to him in the locker room after the match. His hand smacking down on his shoulder, he wore a sorry looking expression.

“Thanks, Cap” Adrian tried to smile, but anyone could see he was far from happy. “You guys all did too” He paused, to look at his teammates, they all played sad expressions. “I’m sorry for all of this, I thought we had a shot.”

“We did, mate. Hufflepuff is just-” Cassius began,

“-Wicked” Crabbe finished. “They’re on a streak, they weren’t about to let us break that.”

The rest of the boys nodded along and one by one- trickled out of the locker room, leaving Adrian alone.

Y/N was still sat on her bed, that much hadn’t changed. The novel was still sitting open and unread in front of her, that hadn’t changed either.

What had changed, is that her friends had left her alone in the room. The laughter and the joy they provided her with, the laughter and joy that had been doing such a good job of distracting her- was replaced with complete and utter silence.

It was almost deafening.

The light in the sky had gone and only darkness was left. She didn’t know how long she had sat there.

Surely she sat through the entirety of the quidditch match, and depending on the time- the entirety of dinner as well.

She wouldn't have been able to keep anything she ate down anyways.

A knock was what finally snapped her out of her daze, she hadn’t even called for whoever was on the other side to come in before the knob turned and the door was pushed open.

It was a girl in her house a few years below her. “Y/N?”

“Hm?” her eyes darted over to her and back to staring blankly.

“There’s um-” she stopped, looking down the stairs into the common room- “There’s a Slytherin boy outside the common room, he’s asked me to come up and fetch you?”

She didn’t say anything at first, and the younger girl was beginning to feel nervous. Maybe she should’ve just told the boy that she wasn’t there. “I can get rid of him, if you’d like?”

Y/N was going to laugh, but she just thanked the girl and said she would be down in a minute.

Her bare feet were cold on the stone steps. She probably should’ve put her shoes on, or slippers. She said hello to a few of her housemates who were lounging on the sofas and chairs with light music playing in the background.

She pushed the door of the common room open to reveal Miles Bletchley. The Slytherin keeper in all his glory. Definitely not who she was expecting.

He stood with his back leaning against the wall. His legs were straight out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. He was lucky the hallway was empty, or else he would be a tripping hazard. She knew he didn’t care though.

His eyes were glued to the space on the floor in front of him and his fluffy light brown hair was split down the middle and hanging over his forehead.

“Hey, Milo,” she said in a small voice, leaning against the wall opposite of him- he looked up at her and smiled. The two had never really spoken before Adrian and Y/N started dating.

To be completely honest, she had never liked Miles all too much. He was rather mean- possibly the meanest boy in their year.

But after beginning to date Adrian, they had grown to be quite fond of each other.

Y/N was worried their own personal dynamics would clash with each other’s friends- but alas, they didn’t. Y/N loved Adrian’s friends, and Adrian loved her’s.

“Hi, Y/N/N” Miles looked relieved to see her, as if he didn’t expect her to actually come down.

And as if Y/N hadn’t done it enough on her own- she and Miles sat in silence for a few moments. It was a comfortable silence and Y/N knew- just on the fact that Miles was with her, and not celebrating- that their match against Hufflepuff had not gone according to plan.

“It didn’t go too swell, huh?” she asked hesitantly. She knew Miles was the only other player on the team who was taking the match that the scouts would see seriously. So she didn’t want to hit a nerve.

Miles just shrugged and hung his head. “We lost. It wasn’t a terrible loss- the boys were on top of it. Huffs were just a right sight better”

“How is he?”

“He’s gutted. Which is expected” She nodded along as Miles spoke. “He’s also stupid and bloody-minded”

“What d’you mean” Y/N was beginning to get cold, and she was abundantly aware of the absence of carpet in the hallways. It was like the cold stone was absorbing all the heat from her body. She brought her hands up to cross and try to retain the warmth she had left.

“He won’t come apologize on his own, Y/N/N. He’s sorry, he knows it, I know it- the whole bloody dungeons know it.”

“If he was sorry, he’d be here on his own accord. He shouldn’t need his pal to track me down and tell me for him”

“You were in your dorm, I hardly tracked you down” Miles tried to lighten the mood. But Y/N was cold and annoyed. “He goes to the Boathouse to be alone. But you already knew that?”

Y/N stayed quiet, but she looked back up at the boy in front of her. “If you decide to go check it out, and you happen to see him?” Miles paused, moving to remove his Slytherin robes. He stood with just his black slacks and a black turtleneck, holding his robes open for Y/N to fall into.

She ended up succumbing to the temperature and turned her back to Miles, sliding her arms into the boy’s robe and facing him with a smile. “Go ahead and give him this for me, eh? I’ll need it for class tomorrow”

After shooting her a quick wink, Miles bowed his head and walked away.

And that was how Y/N ended up at the Boathouse, sitting next to Adrian- comforting him. Their legs were dangling over the edge of the doc- her head on his shoulder

Over a year later and nothing had changed.

Y/N stood to her feet from her spot on the sofa. She stood so she could walk to the kitchen to rinse her wine glass and turn in for the night. She had bought a bottle of red wine- which she intended to share with Adrian. But as the night drew on and he hadn’t shown up, she popped it open alone.

Her hands trembled slightly as she leaned over the stainless steel sink, she swirled water in the base of the glass gently and tipped it over, watching it fall to the middle and down the drain.

After all the silence she had been listening to that night, the pounding on the front door from down the hall made her ears ring.

And as she heard Adrian’s shouting and banging, she longed for the stillness her flat had once held.

Part of her wished she had the stomach to leave him in the hallway. And that part was much smaller than she was willing to admit.

She wished she could ignore his pleas, until his knuckles were raw and he couldn’t bear to hit the door even one more time. Until her neighbours would wake up and go to the hall to shout at him.

But she didn’t, and she couldn’t.

And so the chain of the lock jingled between her polished fingernails as she slid it off. She twisted the lock open and pulled the heavy door- to reveal Adrian Pucey.

Adrian Pucey. Chaser for the Montrose Magpies. Y/N’s boyfriend of over two years.

But ever since he donned the black and white robes, he never seemed to care that he was the ladder anymore. Quidditch was all that mattered, and Y/N didn’t know how much longer she could come second to it anymore.

He didn’t move from his place on the floor. She couldn’t say how long she allowed herself to leave him outside, but it was long enough for him to sink to his knees.

“I wanted to surprise you, I tried to apparate into the bedroom but,” Adrian began to trail off. “It didn't let me, so I settled for the hallway”

‘It wouldn't have been much of a surprise considering I was expecting you. Waiting for you.’ she wanted to shoot back in his face. But she couldn’t, and she settled for: “The flat is full of protection charms, remember? You were there when Terry and I put ‘em up”

Y/N made no moves to allow him in. And he made no moves to get past her and into the flat.

His mouth formed an ‘o’ as he remembered that afternoon. He couldn’t help them, they were always worlds better at charms than him anyway.

“I’m sorry, love” he hung his head, but Y/N wasn’t having any of it.

“Are you?” She snapped back at him. His ears perked up and his eyes flicked up at her, his head staying hung. “Are you sorry, Adrian? Because you do this over and over again. You show up here and you tell me you’re sorry but nothing ever changes!”

She would not be shouting like this had she not had three glasses of that wine. She would not be unveiling all the feelings she’s had the last year so freely for him to see. But she couldn’t help it.

She knew she would always let him in, she would allow him to break her heart over and over again if she didn’t put a stop to it now. She had to do it now, otherwise, she was afraid she never would.

His eyes were glassy below her, as she spoke his head began to shake. And the more she talked, the faster it shook. As if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “No,” he gasped out. “No, no, no, baby. No, you’ve got it all wrong”

“I can't keep believing you, Adrian.” Y/N sniffled. And she prayed that no one would come out into the hallway. “Not when there’s nothing to show for”

“There’s us to show for!” Adrian pleaded, finally standing from his place on the floor to his feet. “Isn’t that enough? That should be enough!”

Adrian moved to grab her by her shoulders, gently. And he began to take in her appearance.

The tender skin under her eyes looked raw. As if she had been rubbing them all night. But still, Adrian could see dried tears. The ones Y/N had been so desperate to get rid of. The innermost part of her lips were stained a deep purple-red.

“Have you been drinking?”

She scoffed at him. Rolling her eyes and turning her back.

Disregarding his comment, she continued. “It’s not enough. I can't believe you think it would be enough”

She didn’t know if she could say everything she needed to say while looking at him in the eyes. And so she stared ahead. She stared at herself in the mirror. Y/N could see the reflection of him standing behind her but her eyes stayed on herself.

“What ‘us’, Adrian? There’s no ‘us’. There’s just me, Me always alone, always waiting around. There’s me putting everything I have into this relationship and never getting anything back. Then there’s you. You leaving and returning whenever it’s convenient for you. You coming back and telling me you’re sorry and never meaning it. There’s you never changing.”

Adrian just wanted her to look at him. Everything always felt better when he could look into her eyes. They were comforting and familiar, and he’s gone through so much change that all he wanted was Y/N. She was the only constant in his life, and he needed her. He relied on her.

Adrian didn’t understand that that was the root of all their problems. Because Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she felt she could rely on Adrian. It wasn’t in his vocabulary.

“It’s like” she stopped, reaching up to wipe away the tears that were falling once again, but once one was gone another one would replace it. “It’s like I never know when I’m going to see you again, and the only thing I have to hold on to is that you’ve always come back before. And I can’t live like that, Adrian. It’s not fair”

She expected Adrian to intervene at some point. But when he didn’t, she kept going. “I deserve someone who will make me a priority. And you have never done that. And I can’t keep asking you to put me at the top of your list”

“You don’t have to” he finally spoke. “You don’t have to keep asking because I hear you, I swear I do” Adrian pleaded.

He brought his hands up to grasp onto her waist as he continued. “This is the last time you’ll ever have to ask, and this is the last time I will show up here like this. This is the last time. And I swear won’t hurt you anymore, Y/N”

And finally, he engulfed her in a hug from behind.

Y/N allowed herself to cry and cosy into his arms. And she didn’t know if it was smart, or if he deserved it. And she didn’t know if she would regret it later. But she turned to face him and pulled him into the flat and Adrian all but slammed the door behind him.

“I love you” He cried into her hair as they stood in the front entryway together.

She didn’t know if it was smart. She didn’t know if he deserved it and she didn’t know if she would regret it later. Really, she didn’t know much, but there was one thing she knew for sure. And so she told him.

“I love you, too”

ALL FICS TAGLIST

@ghostofscarley @i-love-scott-mccall @lilyswh0re @loverssfevers

HARRY POTTER TAGLIST

@the-slytherin-girl

join my taglist <3

#adrian pucey #adrian pucey x reader #adrian pucey imagine #adrian pucey imagines #adrian pucey fluff #adrian pucey angst #how many times can i tag adrian pucey?#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #ask me about the scene i cut in which adrian receives his letter from the montrose magpies #i couldn’t keep the scene and the flow of the fic so i sacrificed the scene #it’s fine without it #right???#limerenze: originals #limerenze: fics

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 2 years

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what do you do when you feel like you're not doing anything with your life? im late 20s. yesterday two of my friends told me they got raises in a field they're good at, while i'm working a dead end job. one of them is also moving out and i just feel like everyone in my life is moving on with theirs, and living theirs, while i'm stuck in a position where i can't. i help out at home and i can't just up and leave (even if i wanted to) i start to wonder if i'll be here forever. if i'll ever get a job in something i want to do (im self studying but idk how far i'll get) i had a goal to get a job in the field but im starting to think it wont happen. it just makes me hate myself so much. i feel so behind and i know i shouldnt compare myself but seeing everyone get married, moving up in their field, having places for themselves make me feel i wont ever have those things and how my life is to live it for others and not myself. idk how to live for me. i never had the chance... at least not the last 10 years due to helping my family out which i still am... i feel like its only stunting my growth. i don't think im growing as a person at all and it scares me

hey sweetheart, i completely understand where you're coming from; i'm pretty much the epitome of 'doesn't have anything going for me'. i started becoming disabled when i was 18, so i wasn't able to finish high school until my early 20s, didn't go to college, and i've never had a job, much less a career. i'll be 34 in a couple months and i've never had a romantic relationship, i'm mostly homebound and spend the majority of my time stuck in bed with chronic pain and severe fatigue.

so, believe me, honey, i get it.

however, i think you've got two separate issues going on here and it's important that you separate them. first, you have the entirely normal and valid longing to have a life that's yours, and the life that you want to be living. of course you don't want to spend your whole life doing nothing but helping your family and working a job you dislike. you have every right to feel unhappy about not being able to make your own choices or go your own path.

but secondly, i think you're really suffering under the capitalist propaganda about "being the best" and how you fucking suck if you're not constantly "moving upward".

now, i'm not saying that it's any way wrong to want to do what you love, be good at it, or get paid well for it - no, of course that's great for you if you achieve that. but if you stop and think about it for a sec - it's literally impossible for everyone to be the best, isn't it? i mean, if everyone is the best, no one is the best; if everyone is rich, no one is rich. this idea that you have to do more, be more than someone else kind of inherently means that people who do less or "are" less than you are inferior to you, right? is that really the ideology that you want to live by, that you're only good enough as long as other people aren't good enough?

trust me, i get how much it sucks to feel useless. i love off my family's money, i'm not able to do so many basic things that an adult is supposed to do. i've been watching my cousins get married and have children while i live with my mother. it's so, so easy to give in to the crushing feeling that you're a failure.

we have to stop and interrogate those thoughts, analyze where they come from, and dismantle the ideas they're based on. why is a minimum wage job a "failure"? does society not run on the labor of minimum wage workers? why is not getting married or having children by a certain age a failure? because the rigid constraints of the patriarchy demand it?

really, really stop and look at all these assumptions, face every thought and ask it why? if all else fails, think about someone else in a similar situation to you, or someone like me, and question if you'd label them the same way you'd label yourself.

but again, i'm not in any way invalidating your feelings about not being able to pursue your dreams, or not being able to simply live your own life. you unquestionably deserve that, and you have every right to make the choice to head in that direction, even if your family tries to guilt you for it. this is your life, not theirs, isn't it?

and yet, as you work on pursuing your own life, know that it doesn't have to be the "best" life, it just has to be one that makes you happy.

furthermore, a whole lot of people who make major life choices in their early 20s go on to regret them. a lot of people who marry young wind up divorced by middle age. a lot of people who choose a profession early wind up working in a completely different field. i think there's a lot to be said for not rushing into big decisions like marriage, children, and careers, because you're going to keep growing and changing with time, because the rest of your life is a lot longer than you think it is.

you've got time. so, so many people don't find their dream job or the love of their life until their 30s, 40s, 50s, or later.

all of us, even the people who look happy and successful and confident, struggle to find our place in the world, or wish we were different somehow. nobody actually knows what the fuck they're doing, i promise you. everyone has deep dark places inside where they're scared and lost, no matter what they brag about online.

you will find your way if you don't give up, sweetheart. don't give up on yourself.

#advice #anonymous #ask

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moralesispunk · 3 years

Text

In his eyes III (Pero Blacksmith AU)

Pero Tovar x Female Reader

Part 3 of short Pero Blacksmith AU series

Part 2 here / Masterlist here under Pero / Part 4 here

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, smut a lot of smut but also soft Pero

Summary: with your father at his brothers, Pero and you grow closer in the first three days he is gone.

Word count: 8.3k (I have split this into two parts because it was so long but also because so many were looking forward to it and I have not been able to edit the rest yet!)

Day one

Two days later your father left for his brothers, leaving early in the morning. He woke you from your sleep before he went, telling you where he had left the keys for the bakery and coins for the market. You decided to stay in bed for a while longer, the room still dark with no sight of the sun yet.

Sleep did not find you again so you decided to start your day while the rest of the world was still in darkness. You got ready as usual, tying a cloth around your hair to keep it back from your face for the day. Although you knew how to run the bakery, believing you could run it in your sleep, you had only done it a few times by yourself and never for more than two days at a time.

As you double and triple checked that you had everything you would need for the day ahead, a short, sharp rap came to the front door. You froze in the middle of the room, not sure who would be calling by so early in the day. As you slowly opened the door, only enough to check who was standing outside, you found Pero.

He had been turned to face away from the door but as he heard the knob twist he had turned his head around. He was dressed in his usual black, well worn work clothes, though his hair a little smoother than usual. The sun was only now making its way over the tree line, giving enough light to make out his face that was still puffy from a nights sleep. He would look soft had it not been for his scar that stood out as usual.

“Pero?” you opened the door wider so to take in his full appearance.

“Your father left this morning, yes?” he asked and you nodded, “would you like me to walk you to work?”

“Walk me to work?” you repeated.

“The mornings are still dark, the path through the forest even darker.”

“Oh,” you cheeks flushed knowing that Pero had thought about you as he woke this morning, deciding to start his day by walking you to the bakery. You tried to force yourself to think that he only did so because he promised your father he would check in on you this week but even this seemed more than was promised, “well, thank you, Pero. I just need to put on my coat.”

Pero nodded and waited by the door as you tied your cloak around your shoulders, warning off the spring mornings that were still carrying a chill. As you stepped out of the door, Pero moved off the step to let you lock it behind you.

The walk to the village was quiet as you followed the narrow path through the forest next to one another. Pero kept his steps in time with yours despite his much longer legs, occasionally causing you to brush up against one another before avoiding each other’s blushing cheeks. The closer you got to the village the more birds woke with the morning sun, their songs providing music for your walk.

The village was still quiet as you entered, only shop owners making their way through the street to open up for the day. Although the blacksmiths was before the bakery on the street, Pero walked with you to the front of your shop.

As you unlocked the door you turned to face him, “thank you, Pero.”

He nodded, rocking on his heels for a moment before opening his mouth, “can I walk you home this evening?”

“Yes, Pero. I would like that very much,” you giggled slightly, turning to walk into the bakers as Pero walked to his work.

Your day went in quickly as you manned both the front and back of the bakers. When the last customer left you finally felt the impact of the day on your body, the balls of your feet painful with each step. You carried the empty trays from the bread into the back of the shop, catching your reflection in the window. Your face had specks of flower across it, standing out against your flushed cheeks, and your hair was slowly coming undone from under the cloth. As you washed the trays to dry overnight you heard the bell from the door and the call of your name from the front of the shop.

“Pero?” you called back, listening to the sound of his footsteps that neared.

“Busy day?” his eyes scanned the room and the trays upon trays that you had washed.

“I forgot how much work it is to man the front and back by myself,” you laughed tiredly, “I am finished now though, I just need to collect today’s coins.”

He nodded and waited as you counted and recounted the coins you took in today, carefully placing them in your bag and placing the bag in your pocket. The walk back to your home was just as quiet as the morning, though this time because both of you were recovering from a long day of work. Your mind wandered to what food was in the kitchen, remembering you had started a stew the night before that you could finish when you got home. As the sight of the cottage came into view your feet stopped walking as you realised you did not want to say goodbye to Pero just yet.

Pero stopped his steps in time with yours, turning and calling your name.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” you shot out your mouth quickly.

He turned to look at the cottage and back down the empty path before his eyes finally landed on yours.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you awaited his answer. His hand reached up to rub over the scruff of hair around his jaw before he nodded and you both restarted your walk to the cottage.

The sun was still high enough in the sky as you unlocked the door, taking off your jacket as you stepped inside. You moved to the kitchen but turned when you did not hear the sound of his footsteps following you.

“Are you not coming in?” you turned to him.

“Your father wont mind?” his eyes looking around the room, settling on anything other than you.

“Would he have asked you to check in on me if so?”

Pero thinks for a moment before realising you were right, closing the door behind him before joining you in the kitchen.

“Can I help?”

“First, you can take off your work clothes,” you point down at his layers covered in soot, “and then I will fetch some water to wash our hands and faces.”

He nodded, stripping himself down to his base tunic as you walked out to the well to gather enough water to fill a basin to clean the day of work off you both. When you came back you quietly washed yourselves before Pero stared the fire for the stew.

“Do you like wine?” you asked as he walked back into the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow at you. “Wine?” you asked again and he nodded. You poured some into two jugs, enough to drink until dinner was ready.

You reached to lift the pot of stew over to the fire in the sitting room but Pero’s hands stopped you, grunting as he lifted and walked it into the next room.

You followed with the jugs of wine, carrying the bottle under your arm, and sat on the floor in front of the fire at the other side of the table. Once the pot was set above the fire, Pero gave the stew a stir before moving to sit next to you.

“What do you make in the blacksmiths?” you turned to face him.

“A lot. Equipment for the farmers, weapons for the Lord, whatever else the villagers need,” he took a large drink from his mug, his eyes looking into the fire.

“Did you learn how to do this when you sold your sword?”

Pero shook his head, still not turning to face you, “my father was a blacksmith before he passed. He taught me the skills, believing I would take over from him but… there wasn’t enough money to keep my mother and my sister fed. We lived in a small village with not much work so I sold his workshop and began to sell my sword, sending my mother and sister coins until they passed.”

“Oh, Pero. I’m- I’m so sorry,” you looked down at your hands.

“Don’t be,” he turned to face you, “it was long ago now.”

“Nevertheless. My mum passed long ago and I still miss her. It is okay to miss those you love.”

Pero held your gaze for a moment, his eyes searching yours in the light of the fire.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“You can ask me as many questions as you wish, hermosa”

You wanted to ask him what that word meant but it wasn’t the first question on your list.

“You have told me stories of your travels but not one about-” your eyes fell to the scar on his face. “You don’t have to if you do not want to.”

“It is not as interesting as you may think,” he chuckled, “I was young, in my early days of selling my sword. A Lord paid me to seek out the man who shared his wife’s bed while he was away on his travels and I discovered it was the Inn keeper’s son. I went after dark, when the Inn was shut and there was his mother waiting for me. She told me to leave and I did not listen. I tried to make my way into the back to find her son but… she had more bravery than many men I have been on the road with, giving me this and warning me never to go back.”

“Was it sore?”

He nods, his eyes darting down to your lips before back up again, “but nothing I cannot handle,” he smirks.

You reached up, letting your fingers trace over the scar for a moment. Pero leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his eyes open despite the warmth of your skin on his.

“You are a very handsome man, Pero,” the words fell from your mouth before you could stop them.

You watched as his mouth fell open, his eyebrows furrowing as he thought of what to say in response. His mind did not work fast enough, your hand falling back onto your lap before you pushed yourself up to pour two bowls of stew.

You placed both bowls on the table, walking to the kitchen to bring back some bread, butter and cutlery.

The pair of you eat in silence, the stew warming your bodies from the inside. You bit back a smile at the way Pero huddled over his bowl, ripping the bread with his teeth and sending crumbs into his moustache. From days of travel you thought as you took your dinner slower, savouring the taste of the meat and vegetables that your father had left for you.

Once you had finished, Pero took the bowls and pot to wash the dishes in the basin and placing the leftover stew on the stovetop. You placed more wood on the fire, pulling a blanket onto your lap as you leaned against the pillows you brought onto the floor.

Pero joined you soon, sitting by your side. You moved to place the blanket over his lap, the tiredness of your muscles meaning you did not care about leaning into his side slightly.

“Can you tell me about your homeland?”

You felt Pero shift slightly beside you before settling.

“It is beautiful. A lot warmer than here but not as green. Wonderful food, you would like it I think…”

His voice carried on, telling you more and more about his home and you felt your eyes begin to close. You moved your head to rest on his shoulder, making his voice halt of a moment, looking down at your soft face. He noticed how your eyelashes rested on your cheeks and the way your smile didn’t quite disappear even on the edge of sleep. He continued talking until he heard your breathing becoming louder and more even.

He whispered your name, moving his hand to gently shake your thigh.

“You should go to bed,” he stated as you looked up at him, watching you lazily nod against his shoulder.

He helped you to your feet, walking to gather his work clothes left in the kitchen before meeting you by the door again. Neither of you wanted to leave one another’s company just yet but the sun had completely disappeared and the only sound from outside was a lonely owl perched on a branch near by.

“I will walk you to work tomorrow?” he asked and you nodded.

You opened the door, leaning against it as you waited for him to leave. When he walked by you felt your hand reach out for his, taking it in yours for a moment and giving it a squeeze. He gently squeezed back, lifting it to press his lips against the back of your knuckles for a moment before walking out again.

“Pero,” you called after him as he reached the end of the garden, “one more question?”

He laughed and nodded, turning and waiting for you to go on.

“What does hermosa mean?”

He chuckled, shaking his head and looking down at the ground before back up at you again. His wide smile covered his whole face, his usual scowl disappearing for a moment, “beautiful.”

You smiled, gripping the door tighter to hold yourself up as he turned to walk away again.

Day two

The next morning Pero showed up your house once again, waiting for you as you finished getting ready for the day. The walk to the village was quiet once more as you bumped shoulders trying to walk next to one another on the path. He walked by your side to the bakery, watching you carefully as you unlocked the shop and stepped inside. He wished you goodbye, agreeing he would be back to walk you home again.

Around half way into the day, the Inn Keeper came in for some bread.

“Good afternoon, what can I help you for today?”

“Just a loaf for myself, please my lovely. How is your father I haven’t seen him in two days?” You laughed quietly at the question, remembering just how village life could be, gossip starting at the smallest of changes.

“He is visiting his brother, my uncle. He will be back in a few days,” you reply as you wrap up her loaf in brown paper.

“Is that why the blacksmith has been walking you to work each morning,” her eyebrow raised as she smirked.

“Yes. My father asked Per- Mr Tovar to check in on me while he was away,” you handed over the bread, avoiding her eyes as your face burned.

“You should bring him to the Inn tonight for some dinner. My son, you know Henry don’t you, went to the fish port the other day and brought back some wonderful catch to sell.”

Your mouth watered at the thought. Being inland meaning you lived off chicken and beef most of the time, fish only coming into the village where someone travelled to the coast. You nodded, telling her you would stop by after you closed the bakers.

All day you thought about the fish that would be at the Inn, whether it would be in a stew or in a pie. The thought of dinner made you work faster than usual, cleaning up and closing the shop faster than Pero managed to close the Blacksmiths. You walked along the street, pulling the cloak around your body as you skipped up his steps.

He was standing over a basin, washing his hands. His apron was already hanging on the wall, showing he was done for the day and so you knocked at the door. He turned to face you and if you didn’t know better you would have backed away from his scowl but noticing the lightness in his eyes you stepped in.

“I was thinking we could go to the Inn tonight, they have fish.”

“Fish?” his eyebrows pulled together at your invitation.

“Yes, fish. You don’t get it often in the village,” you explained.

He nodded, drying his hands on a cloth that hung over a hook on the wall.

“No one will mind that we are going together, without your father?”

“It is a small village Pero, most people have went to the Inn together at some point. It also isn’t a very religious village, I don’t know if you noticed that much,” you laughed, reaching for his own jacket to hand him.

He smirked slightly. He had realised that people were a little more relaxed in this village than others he had passed through before. Unmarried men and women were free to be friendly to one another without any lingering chaperone or words of sin. It put him at ease but caused a weight to grow at the bottom of his stomach as he questioned in what way you looked at him.

He looked at you and saw the sun, moon and stars. He wondered what you saw when you looked at him…

“Pero?” you held the coat towards him. He grabbed it grunting a thank you and nodding at the invite.

You both walked to the Inn, the sounds of conversations already buzzing along the street with people finishing their days of work here. When you opened the door your eyes scanned the room finding one empty table left. You nudged Pero with your elbow, nodding towards the table. He moved by you, placing his hand on your waist as he did so, before leading you through the crowd hand in hand. His hand enveloped yours, making you feel even smaller behind him as you followed in his footsteps to the table.

He pulled out a chair, standing back as you sat down, before moving to sit opposite you. The friendly Inn Keeper came over to the table, her warm smile welcoming you both.

“Good job I kept two fish pies aside. Something to drink?”

“Ale, please,” you smiled back and Pero grunted the same to her.

The Inn buzzed around you, men and women drinking at the end of a long day. When the ales arrived Pero listened as you spoke about your day, nodding when you complained about customers and laughing as you told him of the flour explosion. A few ales later, your pies arrived and you eat in silence. You watched as Pero’s eyes glided around the room, one arm wrapped around his bowl protectively as though he was a man still travelling the road. You smiled at him. He truly did not care what anyone thought of him. While this was true you didn’t know there was one exception to that - you. As his eyes fell back on you he sat a little straighter in his chair, eating slower and savouring the taste.

“What do you think?” you nodded to the near empty plate in front of him.

He grunted, nodding back at your plate.

“I love the fish pie here. I wish I could have it more often.”

As you both finished Pero watched how your eyes were closed over a little more than usual. The ale was obviously hitting you as you giggled at any remark he made. You rested your elbow on the table, leaning your head in your hand as you asked him to tell another story from his travels. Your eyes were shining in the candlelight, the lazy smile as you listened to him stretching your cheeks with every laugh that passed your lips. He could stay and watch you for the rest of the night but as he looked out the window, finding the moon already high in the sky he placed coins on the table and held his arm out to you.

You stood from the table, stumbling slightly as you pushed the chair back but Pero’s arm steadying you. He looked down at you, smiling.

“Drunk?”

“N-no, ‘m not drunk,” you said as you held onto his arm a little tighter while he weaved your bodies through the crowd and out the Inn.

The walk to your home seemed longer than usual as you stumbled through the path, the darkness not helping but you were thankful to have Pero’s arm to hang on to. Around half way through the path he gave up holding you and lifted you into his arms, carrying you all the way into your home.

He could feel you falling asleep in his arms so walked by the sitting room to your bedroom. It was the first time he had seen it, his eyes scanning around the trinkets that covered the shelves before finally landing on the bed. He placed you gently on the bed before moving to light the fire in your room.

You propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him light the fire, tilting your head and taking him in. His back muscles strained as he moved the wood around, the back of his neck visible when he leaned forward to blow on the sparks. When he got the fire going he turned on his heels to face you from his crouched position on the ground.

“You should get ready for bed,” he stated simply, moving to walk out the door.

“Wait, Pero. Will you stay tonight?”

The scowl on his face harshened for a moment as he shook his head, “I- I don’t think that is a good idea.”

“Please,” you whispered, “just for company. I- I know what I’m asking, my mind is not that altered by the ale you do not have to worry.”

He thought for a moment, waiting by the door and looking in at you lying on the bed.

“Just for company,” he nodded.

Pero turned on his heels, moving to the well at the back of the house to pour enough water for you both to wash before bed. When he came back you were already sitting on the edge in your night dress. He had seen you plenty times before but never like this. The loose, white dress stopped halfway down your arms, the neckline lower than any he had seen on you before, the hem only just below your knees. He had seen more of plenty other women before but never like you, the soft skin noticeable under the light of the fire. Your hair was now loose too, falling around your face as it should be.

“I- I brought water.”

You both knelt by the fire, slowly washing away the day. Pero noticed as you moved to kneel by the bed, your eyes shut and hands clasped as you mouthed a few words before standing again.

“I did not know you prayed,” he noted before pouring the water out of the window.

“Not always,” you pulled the sheets on the bed back before climbing under them, “I pray at the start of spring for a good harvest, at the start of winter for a kind storm, when people fall sick, and when my father travels.”

He nods, moving to lie on the floor by the bed before you grasp his arm.

“I don’t bite,” you tease, pulling back the sheets for him to join you. He looks at the floor and the space next to you in the bed before sighing.

He removes his outer layers, left with the last layer between him and his skin. You truly notice the muscles in his arms for the first time, hard with years of labour but the skin that covers them soft. He has freckles dotted over them, making you smile as your eyes move down his body. He climbs in next to you, waiting for you to move before he does. You turn to face him and he decides to face you too, looking at your face under the moonlight that streams in through the window.

“You are a very handsome man, Pero,” you say as you let your hands trace his face, running over his strong nose and scar along his eye.

“Kings and Lords are handsome, I am not.”

“Are Kings and Queens, Lords and Ladies the only ones who can hold beauty?”

He shakes his head, reaching up to trace over your own face, “I have met many a Queen and Lady, none come close to your beauty.”

“Well, I have never met a King and very few Lords, but you are the most handsome man my eyes have had the luck to fall upon,” you move forward, holding your breath as you press a kiss to his scar, “goodnight, Pero.”

“Goodnight, hermosa,” he pulls you closer to his chest, waiting until he knows you are asleep before he lets himself dream of you.

Day three

You woke the next morning wrapped in Pero’s arms. Your head lay on his chest, the steady rise and fall comforting you as you let your eyes wake to the world. One of his arms lay off the side of the bed while the other held you close against his side.

You lifted your hand to trace circles on the part of his chest that was free at the top of his undershirt. He stirred under you for a moment before his eyes opened and found yours.

“Morning,” you whispered.

He grunted, pulling you tighter against his chest as he stretched out in the bed.

You laughed quietly, noticing how he appeared even grumpier at this time in the morning. You pulled yourself away from his warmth no matter how much your body wanted to cling to it.

Groaning as you stood from the bed, you reached your arms up to stretch out your back. Pero’s eyes trailed up your body for a moment before he forced them away upon seeing the soft skin of your thighs.

Walking towards your small set of drawers, you pulled clothes for the day out before lifting the empty basin from the night before and filling it up. By the time you got ready for the day, setting two bowls of porridge on the table for you and Pero, you walked back to your room to find him sitting on he edge of your bed and playing with his hands.

“I have set some breakfast for us.”

He nodded, following you to the table where you both sat for breakfast.

“Thank you for staying last night, Pero. I- Staying so far away from the village, it’s nice to have the company at night,” you looked down at the bowl in front of you.

“I was worried you would regret it, letting me stay,” his eyebrows pulled together as he searched your face for any sign that you were.

“I don’t, I would never. I like spending time with you, Pero.”

You eyes met for a moment, child-like shy smiles pulling on your lips for a moment before you looked back down to finish the bowls of porridge in front of you.

The walk to work that morning was slightly faster than usual as there was a little more bounce in your step. You even noticed Pero’s usual scowl had been replaced by something lighter. Not quite a smile, no upturn of the lips or relaxing of his eyebrows, but a lightness that was surrounding him.

When you reached the bakers you turned to Pero as usual to say goodbye but this time you stood on your toes, balancing yourself against his arm and placed a kiss to his cheek. You were close enough to notice the pull of his lips before he straightened them again, nodding and turning to walk to his own work.

Everywhere in the village worked a half day today, meaning you did not have to go as long without seeing the handsome man who shared your bed the night before. You both must have had the same thought of finishing work quickly as you met each other between the bakery and blacksmiths.

“Mr Tovar,” you smiled and he laughed back your name.

You spend time enjoying the walk back to your house, looking at all the flowers that were standing straighter in the midday sun. The pollen was dancing in the sunlight that breached the spaces between the tall trees making the whole forest smell like summer.

When you finally reached the garden you collapsed onto the grass, throwing your hands above your head and letting your legs stretch out. For a moment Pero panicked thinking you had tripped until he noticed the calm look on your face.

There was a lazy smile on your lips and your eyes were closed as you enjoyed the feeling of the sun on your face. Your palms were turned up, fingers dancing in the sunlight and you kicked your shoes off for your toes to do the same.

“Are you joining me,” you shielded your eyes with one hand as you opened an eye to look up at Pero.

He tilted his head, taking in the sight before him. He had always thought you were beautiful and light, innocent and happy, but in this moment he was truly in awe of you. Nodding, he lifted his work layers over his head to let his arms feel the sun on them before sitting next to you. He rolled the legs of his trousers up to let his calves feel the warmth too before lying next to you.

For a while, the only sound that filled the air was of the birds singing their spring songs and the nearby river running through the fields. You began to hum under your breath as your head lulled from side to side, feeling the grass tickle your cheeks.

“What is that?” Pero’s voice came from next to you.

You turned to face him, finding he was already looking at you. His face was much more relaxed than usual, not happy or sad but content as he lay in the sun.

“A lullaby my mother used to sing. I don’t remember the words just the tune.”

“It sounds beautiful.”

You both looked back up to the sky, taking in the tall trees above you and brush your hands along the grass. The side of your hand bumps into Pero’s and you jerk it back towards you for a moment before slowly brushing over the grass back towards his hand. You let your pinky rest up against his, waiting to see if he will pull away. When he doesn’t you let your fingers run across the back of his before locking yours and his together. You hold your breath, waiting to see what will happen. He removes his hand and for a moment you regret your action before he turns his palm over, holding your hand and his against one another.

You hear the grass rustle as he turns his head to face you again, his free hand reaching across his body to grasp your chin slightly. As he turns your head to face him, he lets his knuckles drag across your cheek. You close your eyes, feeling the heat from his hands and enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours. When you turn your head even more, pressing your lips against his knuckles he freezes, his eyes wide for a moment as he swallows. His hand stays still as he stares into your eyes before he moves to turn onto his side.

You mirror his movements, now both facing one another and hands still locked together between your bodies. His hand stays on your cheek but moves to cup it gently, holding it in place as he lifts his head closer to yours.

You feel your eyes look down at his lips, soft and parted as they come closer to you. When you look back up to his eyes they are now on your lips before flicking back up to yours.

“Is this okay?” he whispers and you nod.

“Please, Pero. Kiss me,” you sigh.

In a moment his lips are on yours, gentle and slow as they press together. He stays still for a moment, taken aback by just how soft they feel on his before he parts his mouth and kisses you. His kiss is soft, making sure to feel every single movement against him and swallow every last sigh that escapes your mouth. When your free hand reaches up to hold his arm tight he pulls your body closer to his, deepening the kiss.

He takes his hand from yours, breaking the kiss to move your bodies so he was now lying back on the grass and your legs were at either side of his, straddling his waist as your head dipped back down to meet his lips once more.

One of your hands balanced on his chest and the other on the grass next to his head as he kept one of his hands on your cheek, his whole palm taking over the side of your face, and other on your waist, rubbing circles gently into your side. His tongue grazed over your bottom lip and you opened your mouth, your own dancing against his until you were both breathless and dizzy. Pero moved his hand from your waist to cup your other cheek, lifting your head back to take in your face.

“Tell me to stop and I will stop,” he looks into your eyes, making sure he was not overstepping.

“Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. I want you Pero.”

“I need you to tell me what you want,” his eyes moving back to your lips before meeting your eyes again. Pero wanted to feel every inch of you, his cock starting to strain against his trousers at the thought, but he did not want to take more than you were ready to give.

“You, Pero. I want you, if you will have me,” you sighed and leaned down to kiss him again.

You lips moved together in sync, moans falling from your lips before being caught by the other. Pero’s hands moved from your cheeks, gently down your arms and smiling into your kiss when the goosebumps rose in response. They moved down your waist where he gripped at your layers seeking to feel you and they kept moving down to your waist and squeezing before finally finding your thighs and all the way to your ankles, circling your soft skin as they rested at either side of his hips.

When he finally found your skin, he pulled your skirts up slowly, waiting to see if your hands stopped him. His hands finally touched your bare thighs under the skirts, his rough and calloused hands from years of hard labour touching your soft skin, and you moaned into the kiss. A true moan from the back of your throat that you had no control over the minute you felt his hands on you. It was an automatic response like the way your thighs tightened around his waist, rocking slightly to release a pressure that was building inside you.

“Not here,” Pero whispered against your lips, kissing you once on the lips, each cheek and forehead, before lifting your from him and standing, holding his hand out for you to join him.

You followed him quietly as he lead to you the your bedroom, the one he had seen for the first time the night before.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he reached to hold your face gently.

“Trust me, Pero. This is what I want,” you reached your own hands up to hold over his.

He smiled, kissing you once before standing straight.

“We should wash then.”

The both of you stayed quiet as you start the fire and heat the water, taking turns filling the basin in the corner of your room. Once it was full enough and the right temperature you faced on another next to the tub of water, waiting for someone to make the first move.

You turned and looked at Pero over your shoulder, lifting your hair to show the tied ribbon at the back. He walked towards you slowly, attempting to stop his shaking hands as he reached to pull the ribbon loose. When it came undone he slowly pushed it off your shoulder, leaning down to kiss each inch of skin on your shoulder as it was exposed until he reached your underdress. He let it fall to the ground, moving to stand in front of you holding your hand as you step out of the dress.

You reach down, grabbing at the fabric of your underskirt and pulling until it you lift it over your head. With your whole body now on show you suddenly feel shy, your arms wrapping around your body to hide some skin. Pero gently shakes his head as he takes your small wrists in his large hands and brings them down to your side, stepping towards you and holding your face in one of his hands. His eyes look down at your body, making sure to notice every mark and curve that covers your soft skin. He pulls the band that holds your hair back, letting it fall free around your face.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead.

Your hands reach up and grab at the end of the tunic, the only layer that was left along with his trousers after taking off his work layers earlier. He raises his arms as you lift it up over his head. You take your lower lip into your mouth as you look down at his body, tan and muscular but soft around the middle. It is littered in scars, one in particular that catches your eye as it crosses one side of his chest. You trace it with your fingers before stepping forward to kiss it gently. You hear Pero sigh as you do so, not seeing the way his eyes close and face relaxes. No one had ever treated him with as much care and love as you had.

You let your hand run down his body only stopping when you reach the waistband of his trousers. He nods and you move to your knees, gently tugging his trousers down with you. You gasp when his cock springs free from the confines, hard and pressed against his stomach already leaking. You hide your face as you work to untie his boots before taking his trousers off the rest of the way, hoping he doesn’t see the redness that covers your cheeks at the sight.

When you stand back up he holds your chin in his hand, “Have you ever done this before?” You shake your head and try and look down again but his hand stops you. “Do not be embarrassed. We will only do what you want to do.”

Pero steps around you and into the tub, holding your hand in his and letting you join him. It is a small tub and as Pero sits, bringing you to sit between his legs, some of the water sloshes over the side. He holds you close to his chest and lifts the soap, washing it up and down your arms and back before doing his own.

The feel of his skin against yours, soft in parts and rough in others, sends a warmth through your whole body. When his lips finally attach to your neck, placing gentle kisses down it onto your shoulders you can’t stop the moan that leaves your throat. One of his hands rests on your leg running up and down the inside before resting on the crease at the top of your thigh while the other comes up to your chest. He gently squeezes your breast before he catches your nipple between two of his fingers, nipping and twisting until it is hard. Your head rolls back onto his shoulder, looking up at him from below his jaw as his hand moves to give the other the same attention.

“Pero, please,” you gasp, not sure what you are whispering.

“Go lie down on the bed,” he leans and captures your lips in his before releasing your nipple from his hand and letting you stand.

The room is now warm from the fire and you dry your body with a towel as you walk towards the bed. You move to lie at the top with your head resting on the pillow as Pero finishes washing himself before also stepping out of the tub and drying himself.

He stands at the end of the bed, taking your body in as it shines under the moonlight. You force your arms down on the bed, making sure not to cover yourself in embarrassment. You trust Pero in this moment, more than you have trusted anyone before.

“Can I make you feel good?” he near-growls as he stalks over your body, crawling up so your eyes were in line with one another. You nod and he shakes his head, “I need to hear you say it for me.”

“Please, Pero. Make me feel good,” you whine and he hungrily claims your lips in his.

He kisses down your jaw and neck, sucking on your collarbone before kissing down your body and resting between your legs. He looks up at you as he spreads your legs open for him, keeping them that way with his shoulders. His eyes stay on yours as he kisses and softly nips at the skin on the inside of your thighs, waiting until you were squirming under him before he moved to lick a stripe up your folds.

Your head falls back against the pillow as he holds you down with one arm draped across your stomach and the other holding your folds open as he licks again and again. His lips finally attach to your clit and he notices the way you gasp, how you whine when he starts slow before panting when he moves faster, eventually finding the rhythm that has you moaning his name like a prayer.

“I want you to look at me,” he lifts his head to speak, waiting until your eyes were back on his before he moved again.

“Please, Pero I- I”

He hummed against you, making your legs shake around his head. There was a warmth building inside you, growing stronger and stronger with every flick of his tongue.

Your hands found their way into his hair, grabbing on to him as he worked. The feeling inside you was stronger than anything you had felt before, like a current running through you from head to toe.

Pero looked up at you, your mouth open and eyes wide as your body tingles with every move he made. Your shoulders were tensed and he sat up, his hand running up and down your stomach for a moment, “relax, my love. I’ve got you, just let yourself go.”

His head dipped back down and you let your shoulders relax, holding his hand that lay across your stomach while your other hand gripped at the sheets. You made yourself keep your gaze on him, watching as his mouth smirked when you moaned a bit louder.

Suddenly the warmth crashed through your body, your back arching off the bed and legs shaking. Pero kept going, working you through your high and rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb until your back relaxed back against the bed and your thighs stopped shaking. Your eyes had been squeezed shut and as you opened them you found his eyes on yours, full of a softness as you repeated his name out of your mouth.

“Good girl,” he cooed, “you did so good. How was that?” His head rested on your thigh as he waited for you to answer.

“Amazing, Pero. I didn’t know I could feel like that,” you sighed making him chuckle.

“I plan to make you feel like that again, if you wish?”

You nodded and he let his fingers trace down your folds, stopping at your entrance. He pressed one inside, watching as your back lifted off the bed once more before settling after a moment. He watched as his finger pushed in and out of you slowly, waiting for you to adjust before he added another. The sound of your moans was like music to his ears as he picked up the pace a little, attaching his lips back to your bundle of nerves.

“You are so beautiful, taste so sweet,” he mumbled against your skin.

The same warmth was flowing through your body again and Pero felt you walls tighten against him. He lifted his head, curling his fingers and coaxing another out of you. Your body tensed, his name falling from your lips once again as he continued pumping his fingers in and out of you. His chest swelled as the only word that could fall from your mouth in this moment of sheer bliss was his name.

When you finally relaxed once more he pulled his fingers from you, putting them in his mouth and sucking them clean. You watched him carefully as he dragged both fingers up your folds again, gathering more wetness.

“Do you wish to taste?”

You nodded and he crawled up your body, placing his fingers in your mouth.

“Sweet isn’t it,” he smirked as you hummed around his fingers. He felt the way your tongue flicked over him, wondering how your mouth would feel around his cock but knowing he could try that another day.

He rested himself over you, a forearm at either side of your head. Your eyes looked down between your bodies, looking at his cock that was now red and dripping.

“I want you, Pero,” you whispered against his lips, tasting yourself on him when they finally collided.

He pulled back, wanting to look you in the eyes as he pushed into you. He shifted his weight onto one forearm, his free hand coming down to line himself at your entrance.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

You nodded but upon seeing his mouth open you spoke, “I promise.”

He nodded, pushing in slowly. It took every single bit of strength he had not to fill you completely in this moment but he wanted you to enjoy it and he definitely did not want to hurt you. He waited until you nodded before moving in further each time until he was finally bottomed out. His lips crashed against yours, his tongue exploring your mouth as he felt your walls tighten around him.

“Please, Pero. Move,” you begged, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

His hand held tightly onto your hip as he wrapped your legs around his waist, starting with slow deep thrusts. You moans filled the room as he growled with each thrust and you gasped each time he filled you completely. Your body was still so sensitive from the two times you had already cum tonight that you could feel another one nearing and as could Pero.

You looked into his eyes and let the words fall from your mouth.

“I love you, Pero.”

He shook away the tears that were stinging at the corner of his eyes at those words. There was no uncertainty in them, no reason for him to believe that they were only being shared because of the way your bodies were moving against one another. You loved him for who he was.

“I love you,” he whispered back along with your name.

He quickened his pace, swallowing your moans with his mouth. When he felt your body tense around him, holding him in place he kissed down your neck and biting slightly. He pulled out as he spilled his seed over your stomach with a shout of your name, watching the way it glistened on your skin.

Your legs unwrapped from his waist and arms from his back as he sat back on his heels looking down at you. His chest was rising and falling heavily, every scar that covered his chest and face illuminated by the moonlight. He was perfect, every mark telling a story of how he was brought to you. You knew you would make sure to kiss each one when you had the chance but for now you would let him hold you in his arms.

You looked back down to your stomach, gathering his seed on your fingers before bringing it to your lips to taste. Pero groaned at the sight, something so dirty but by someone so innocent. He watched as your body relaxed more, the moon showing the glint in your eyes as you looked up at him. He reached for a cloth, cleaning between your legs and on your stomach before lying next to you and pulling you onto his chest.

He could already feel your breathing slow and he pulled the sheet over your bodies, hugging you closer to him. You fought off sleep for long enough to lift your head and kiss his cheek, on the scar, and lips one last time before sleep.

“I love you, Pero, so much. Thank you,” you whispered against his chest.

“I love you. You have my heart and soul,” he murmured into your hair, letting the tears of love and joy he had held back release as he fell asleep with you in his arms.

Permanent tag // @phoenixhalliwell @asta-lily @hb8301 @princess76179 @sarahjkl82-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl

Pero tag // @bonktime @justpedropascal @coldlilheart @shadowolf993 @stylelovechild @frostsoldier @idreamofboobear @artsymaddie @ajeff855 @strangelittlenobody @elegantduckturtle

#pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x you #pero tovar fanfiction #pero tovar fanfic #pero tovar fic #Pero Tovar #the Great Wall #headcannon

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