#i totally get why they want to take back the means of production and be in control of their own art

[yournowheregirl]

Let it be known that Eddie Munson hates big box stores. They represent everything he’s against: a big piece of capitalist bullshit that underpays its workers and pump out unnecessary products like it’s nothing. 

And yet, he finds himself in a Target on a random Sunday evening.

He’s not quite sure how he got roped into doing Chrissy’s shopping for her, something about ‘owing her a favor’ and ‘making up for all the times she had take out the garbage when it was his turn to do so’ or whatever that means. But here he is anyway, pushing a bright red shopping cart in search of every item on her list so she can go on her date with that girl from the concert in peace. The things you do for friends.

Eddie finds the first few items quite easily - they’re on sale and easy to spot with the big display in the middle of the aisle - but once he gets to the fourth item on her list: Fresh Cotton scented candle, he starts to panic just a little.

Why are there so many fucking candles?

He rubs a hand over his face in attempt to make himself focus on the rows and rows of glass jars in front of him, taking a deep breath before he starts looking for the Fresh Cotton scented candle Chrissy wants. Only to find out, there aren’t any.

There is Pure Linen and Natural Cotton and even one that’s called Laundry Day - whatever the fuck that’s supposed to smell like - but there is not one candle that says Fresh Cotton. 

Okay. Okay. He can do this. He knows Chrissy like the back of his hand, he’s smelled that candle practically every day, he can totally figure out which candle she wants. 

Eddie grabs the first candle that’s vaguely named after a fabric and smells it, but that one isn’t the one he’s looking for. He tries another (closer, but not quite the same) and another (doesn’t even smell like cotton in the slightest), until he’s smelled practically every cotton-linen-laundry candle in the store and his nose has become immune to any smell whatsoever.

Christ, he really is a terrible best friend if he can’t even get her shopping list right.

Something red flashes by in the corner of his eye and Eddie immediately perks up and chases after it. He stops himself from screaming in victory when he sees that he was right and that there is in fact a Target employee in a red polo walking in the main aisle.

“Excuse me!” Eddie calls out. “Excuse me! Can you help me?”

The guy in the red polo turns around and whoa- Eddie didn’t know that they were hiring actual models to work at Target. He’s pretty sure he’s never met a big box store employee that looks this good - with floppy golden brown hair and a chest that fills out that red Target polo really nicely.

“Uh yes?”

“Great!” Eddie gestures the Target guy to follow him back to the candle aisle and grabs the two candles that he thinks are the closest to what Chrissy wants. “Which one of these is Fresh Cotton?”

Target guy frowns and takes the candles from Eddie’s hands, his hazel eyes narrowing as he reads the labels. “Neither? This one is Clean Cotton and the other one is Crisp Cotton.”

“Yes, yes, I know. But Target used to sell Fresh Cotton, I think, at least that’s what my friend’s shopping list says.” Eddie rambles. “So I guess my question is which one used to be Fresh Cotton and got renamed or whatever.”

“Huh.” Target guy shrugs and takes the lid off both the candles, carefully sniffing each of them before finally handing Clean Cotton back to Eddie. “This one smells the most cotton-y to me, so I’d go with this one, dude.”

Eddie feels his eyes light up with relief as he clutches the candle to his chest. “Christ, that’s a relief. Thank you...” He trails off, searching Target guy’s polo for a name tag, only to come up empty.

“Steve.” 

“Thank you, Steve.” Eddie beams. He puts the candle into his shopping cart and rummages through the pocket of his leather jacket until he finds Chrissy’s shopping list. Scented candle? Check. “Look, I gotta go. I have at least twenty other things on this list and- hey!”

In one quick motion, Steve has grabbed the shopping list from Eddie’s hands, scanning the items on the list and the items in the cart with precision. 

“Dude. Your friend asked for shampoo and conditioner. You bought them that two-in-one crap.” Steve scoffs.

“Is that... bad? Seems to me like it gets the job done faster.” Eddie shrugs.

“Is that bad, he asks. If your friend cares just a little bit about their hair, they’d be devastated.” Steve chuckles. “C’mere, I’ll help you.”

Before Eddie can even protest, Steve has taken his shopping cart from under his nose and gestures for Eddie to follow him. Huh, personal shoppers must be a new thing at Target. He just hopes that Steve doesn’t charge him a surprise hundred dollar fee at the end of the shopping trip.

Turns out, a personal shopper like Steve comes in handy for a Target virgin like Eddie. Steve (obviously) knows the store like the back of his hand and seems to know a lot about the products they sell as well - from the difference between normal and purple shampoo for blonde hair to the package of colored notebooks that Chrissy needs for the next semester. His knowledge is impressive and Eddie can’t help but stare and listen to every word that rolls of Target Guy Steve’s tongue.

(And if he lets a flirty remark or two slip just to see a twinkle in Steve’s eyes in between the shop talk, that’s nobody’s business but his own)

He is a bit confused when Steve starts loading things into the cart that aren’t on Chrissy’s lists, though. Things like highlighters and staples and various arts and crafts supplies. 

“What are those?” Eddie asks.

“Hmm?” Steve hums, following Eddie’s gaze to where it’s looking at the small pots of paint in his hands “Oh. Those are for me.”

“You can do that?”

“Uh yeah? That’s the point of a store?”

“Right.” Eddie nods. “Yeah, I mean, duh. Just didn’t know you were allowed to shop on company time.” 

“Right...” Steve blinks at him in response.

They go through the rest of the list fairly quickly, much to Eddie’s disappointment. When he first set foot inside the store, he wanted to leave as fast as he could, but now that he’s got Steve around, he doesn’t really want this shopping trip to end. 

At least not without Steve’s number saved in his phone. 

There are only a few people in line at the register when they arrive and Steve immediately starts putting his things on the checkout belt. As he waits, Eddie lets his eyes linger at Steve’s toned back, at the way the red fabric stretches over the muscles there, at the way those jeans look practically painted on.

Yeah, he really has to get that number before he gets out of here.

“You probably get employee discount, right? Must be nice.” Eddie grins as he starts putting his stuff on the checkout belt.

Steve cocks his head to the side. “No?”

Christ, not giving your employees a discount in your own store is a new low, even for a big company like Target. “Oh sorry, man. That sucks.”

“I mean, I have my teacher’s discount.” Steve shrugs.

Hold up. What?

“Your what?”

“My teacher’s discount?” Steve repeats. “I’m an elementary school teacher and I get a small discount on stuff I need for my class? Like these art supplies?”

“You- you don’t work here?” Eddie squeaks, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. Oh God, did he just drag a random stranger through a store and make him listen to all of his stupid problems with Chrissy’s shopping lists? This is embarrassing, even for him. “Fuck, I thought- I mean with the polo and- Christ, I’m so sorry.”

But luckily for Eddie, Steve doesn’t seem mad in the slightest. In fact, he just laughs, all bright and clear. “It’s alright, really.”

“But wait, if you don’t work here, why did you help me?” Eddie asks, ignoring the hopeful feeling that starts to bloom in his stomach. 

Steve ducks his head for a second, suppressing a grin, before looking back up at Eddie through his eyelashes and fuck, he has no right to look this hot in a freaking polo shirt. 

“Because I thought you were cute.”

A bright Target red blush settles over Eddie’s cheeks and there’s nowhere to hide, not even behind his hair because his dumb self from two hours earlier decided to put it up in a high bun. 

“Plus, you looked like you were this close to having a panic attack in the middle of the candle aisle.” Steve shrugs. “I’ve been there, and trust me, it’s not a good look.”

The honesty in his voice makes Eddie cackle so loud that even the cashier turns her head to see what all the commotion is about. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Eddie says when his laughter dies down.

“Maybe.” Steve says, his eyes already twinkling with amusement. “But did it work?”

Eddie really can’t say no to that.

(He leaves Target that night with two shopping bags filled with Chrissy’s things and a date with Steve the next weekend.)

[imaginidol]

Yunho: Table Manners

!!mentions of nsfw!! 18+ !! do NOT interact if you don’t like smut!! As requested, here is another ateez smut fic! I haven’t even finished my ot8 fluff stories and I’m already pumping these out ahead of time! Naughty atiny!! In case you are interested, here is a San ver. smut and a Hongjoong ver. smut and a Mingi ver. smut, Wooyoung ver. smut and jongho ver. Smut. I’ve already gotten another asmuteez request so be on the look out for that if you NEED it *squints suspiciously at you*

"A pleasure to finally meet you," Wooyoung quickly bows his head in your direction, followed by a gentle greeting from the rest of the ATEEZ boys.

Tonight was a special night, as it was the first night Yunho was properly introducing you to his best friends in the world as his official romantic partner.

He had invited his members out to a very nice dinner for the occasion, and everyone had dressed casually elegant.

You, however, looked exceptionally beautiful in your choice of clothing for the occasion: a slim-fitted black halter-maxi dress with a plunging neckline, all of which graciously outlined the alluring curvature of your body. Your hair was pinned in a high ponytail and your sparkling heels complemented the final look well.

It was no secret that you were total eye candy at first sight, and one of Yunho's members in particular had taken special notice as well.

As the night progressed, the initial light conversation turned into full conversations about hobbies, industry gossip, how-we-met stories, and other fun interests.

Wooyoung takes a slow sip of his white wine, turning his attention to you.

"You said you'd want to learn more about recording songs, right?"

"I'd love to, actually," you smile, turning to Yunho. "Will you take me one day?"

Yunho's eyes softened. "I'll bring you this week to studio, if you'd like."

"Thank you! I feel like it would be so fun to see how you guys work!"

"Why don't you record stuff for fun while you're there?" Wooyoung smirks, taking another sip of his wine. "I could show you a few things, too."

"Really?" you smile eagerly, "What about music production, could we try that too?"

Wooyoung nodded, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms, eyeing you steadily. "I could definitely do that for you."

"Wooyoung, you're not too buzzed yet, yeah?" Hongjoong says, rubbing his palm against a now half-drunken Wooyoung's neck.

Wooyoung scoffs, shaking his head quietly. "Nah, not yet."

Yunho takes notice of his friend's odd behavior. While he wouldn't be upset if Wooyoung did find you attractive, he was going to be upset if Wooyoung intended to do something about it and passively flirt around you all night long.

"Would you please excuse us," Yunho politely nods towards the rest of his members, pulling his chair back to stand and lightly tapping you on the shoulder.

"Oh?" you look up at your boyfriend and let him wrap his hand around yours as you follow him out to the restroom hallway.

"What's wrong, babe?" you place a hand against Yunho's arm as he turns towards you, his fingers rubbing his eyes in visible annoyance.

"It's nothing that's necessarily your fault, but I don't... I think... I think Wooyoung's got an eye on you, or something like that."

"Wooyoung?" you start giggling, cupping a hand around Yunho's jaw. "Awe, are you getting jealous?"

"Shh, it's not funny," he mutters, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling.

"Yunho, I don't think I've ever seen or heard you when you're jealous. I kind of like it," you tease, placing your hands against his chest and leaving a soft kiss against his lips.

"Just don't give him too much attention anymore, alright? I'll deal with him after," he mumbles into your lips. He gently wraps his arms around your waist, not wanting to think about his friend's behavior anymore.

"But, does this mean I can't go to your recording studio anymore?"

Yunho's eyebrows furrow slightly. "Only if you're with me, and you let me show you how things work."

"Oh?" you cock your head to the side, smiling, "So, no Wooyoung?"

Yunho's eyes grow hooded. "You want him to come? What, so you like his attention on you now?"

You shrugged. "I guess I like it when I get attention," you smirk.

Yunho furrows his brows more, studying your expressions carefully.

She's doing it again, he thinks.

"You're doing it again," he mutters out loud.

"What am I doing?" you say, placing your index fingers around his belt loops.

"Don't fuck around with me like that, especially not with Wooyoung," he mumbles in a low grating voice, bringing his face closer to yours.

"Okay, I won't," you smile, "just as long as it means you are giving me all the attention I want."

Yunho's eyes jump from your eyes to your lips, his hands still clutched around your waist. "And what if I don't? Should I get worried?"

You drop your smile quickly as you bring a hand up to his face, rubbing your thumb steadily against his bottom lip. "I'll get it from Wooyoung."

Yunho immediately rams his lips into yours out of pure frustration, shoving your back against the wall.

"Say it again, I fucking dare you," Yunho mutters breathily, digging his fingernails into your ass.

You let out a soft groan as you feel his harsh kisses trace a line from your jaw down your neck, both your hands now gripping his waist.

"If I see you giving him the attention he wants one more time, I'll fuck the shit out of you until you regret it," he hisses.

"Do I... do I have to wait to give him attention for me to get that punishment?" you tease softly, pulling against his belt loops again.

"Fuck it, you're done for," he snarls, looking over his shoulder and locating your next impromptu destination: a janitor's closet.

He quickly pulls you in, shutting the lights off and locking the door behind him before turning his attention back to you.

You feel his strong hands wrap around your back as he slams your body against the wall behind you, making a rattling noise as several custodial objects toppled all over the floor in the process.

You tug at his pants desperately, begging with your fingers for him to take them off.

"Oh, fuck no, you're not getting shit unless you beg me for it," he snarls, slapping your hands away from his belt and unzipping the back of your dress.

You whine in protest, pulling your arms out of your sleeve holes and slipping out of your heels in a few swift motions as Yunho pulls his sleeves up to his elbows.

Yunho lifts a couple fingers to his lips and quickly drenches them in spit before proceeding to glide his hand down your stomach and into your panties.

"Yunho,” you whisper as you feel his fingers find their way onto your clit. He began massaging you gently; kneading strategically against your sensitive happy button as soft moans began escaping your lips.

“You like that, princess?” he mumbles under his breath, soft grunts escaping his lips as he felt you drenching his fingers more and more.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he hisses, scrunching his face in deep pleasure as he felt a boner rising somewhere deep within his pants.

He raises an arm against the wall next to your head and encloses his mouth around yours, keeping his other hand busy rubbing two drenched fingers against your bean. You have one arm wrapped around his shoulder and neck, the other tugging desperately at his arm as you raised one leg around his hips, nudging him to start fingering you.

"You want attention, princess?" he breathes, biting your lip profusely as he followed his fingers down your labia to reach your hole.

"Fuck," you whimper, raising your leg higher in desperation at the feel of Yunho's steady fingers gently teasing your entrance.

"Beg for it," he sneers, his breath hot against your neck as he cravingly bit into your skin.

"Please, finger me already," you whimper, "just please fucking finger me!"

“You’re so fucking needy,” Yunho scoffs, inserting his fingers into you and pulling out steadily, his cock now fully hardened and poking you through his clothed crotch.

Your soft moans being to match the pace of his fingers sliding in and out of you, your hole growing wetter and looser alongside his every rapturing stroke.

"Please, Yunho, fuck me," you achingly plead, shamelessly tugging at his zipper in an attempt to pull it down.

"You're gonna be fucking patient," he growled, seeing as how your itched fingers had managed to thirstily slide their way underneath his boxers.

You pulled down his boxers and out popped his wet, hardened cock. You traced circles around his tip as he kept ramming his fingers in and out of you, ignoring your hungry requests for more.

Suddenly, a devious thought lingered through your mind.

"You know,” you smile, “I bet Wooyoung would've had his cock inside of me already a long fucking time ago," you tease.

That sentence alone is enough to force Yunho to rip his dress shoes, black turtleneck, and pants off his body, desperately fumbling his way out.

You clench your jaw as he lifts your legs off the ground and wraps them around his waist, his hardened member already seeping wet drops of cum at its tip.

"Say... that... again... SAY IT!!" he pants desperately as he begins pushing himself roughly into you, every word coming out of his mouth in unison with each deep thrust. Your loud moans began to fill the otherwise quiet and voided air around you.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you moan loudly, clawing your fingernails deeply into the soft canvas of porcelain-like skin of his back as each intensifying stroke slipped in and out of your pink-fleshed caverna.

--

"They've been gone awhile; do you think they're alright?" Yeosang turns to Hongjoong, taking a sip of his hot tea as quiet jazz tunes play from the ceiling speakers above.

"Hmm," Hongjoong turns toward the end of the restaurant where he last saw you and Yunho disappear. "Don't know."

"Probably arguing, as healthy couples do," Jongho says, taking a bite of fish cake. "Wooyoung, I blame you,” he sneers through a mouthful of food. “Keep your eyes to yourself next time, yeah? It's bro code."

"Right," Hongjoong turns back around thoughtfully, popping some kimchi into his mouth.

--

You slam both hands against the wall as Yunho roughly turns you onto your stomach, spreading your legs wide as he began hitting it from the back.

Yunho's bangs are drenched as tiny drops of sweat splash onto your hot, glossy back, both your bodies growing warmer under the intensifying and sexy heat of friction. With every passing desirous moan and grunt, Yunho thrusts himself deeper into you, bending over to firmly clasp his hands around your hips and then biting profusely into your neck.

Loud moans escape your lips as you're no longer able to keep them in, your body under complete control of the boy masterminding an orchestra of your vocal chords behind you.

Yunho's breathy gasps slowly turn to soft whimpers as his wet, throbbing member slips in and out of your loosened warm, velvety inner walls. He seemingly felt himself on the verge of reaching his limit, but refused to let go until you reached the pleasure you oh-so wonderfully deserved.

"C'mon, baby," Yunho whispers into your ear as you throw your head back into his shoulder, "cum for me already," he whispers gently. At that, he begins fucking you harder and faster, throwing any and all signs of polite and gentle sex out the window.

You fail to hold in a loud, pleasurable groan as your lower abdomen is joyously overwhelmed by the full extortion of your final orgasm, to which Yunho takes the full and pleasurable joy of feeling his throttling member drench completely at your release.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," Yunho hisses, sinking his teeth deep into his bottom lip as the sensation of your warmth overwhelms his hot, throbbing member. He pulls out quickly with only seconds of limited time to jerk himself off before a steaming hot jet stream of cum shoots all over your back.

"Fuck," Yunho takes a couples steps back, outstretching his arms to lean against the wall in front of him with you underneath. He leans in gently, lowering his warm body against your back as several of his soft kisses are gently planted against your cheek. The small janitorial closet grew quiet except for the heavy panting in an attempt to catch your breaths. He looked around and only hoped that the custodians of this restaurant would take deep-cleaning requests seriously, and he cursed himself quietly under his breath for the uncanny mess that was left of the small room. He planted one last soft kiss against your shoulder as he stepped back and started shuffling through the storage bins in search of a roll of paper towels.

"Don't move, baby," he muttered, wiping what he could of his mess off your back and in between your legs. He folded the paper towel and with it finished wiping himself down, though he knew that you two wouldn't be fully clean until you managed to take a shower sometime later that night.

"Sorry, baby," he hummed, balancing you on your feet as he helped you pull your dress back on and slip into your heels. "I'll try to find an excuse for us to go home as quickly as possible."

You giggled as you helped your boyfriend dress himself next, leaving a quick, soft kiss against his V-line before pulling his pants up and zipping them shut.

"I'm gonna be so sore tomorrow," you sigh under your breath, annoyedly pinching your boyfriend's waist as you both awkwardly stepped out of the closet.

"How do I look?" you tiredly smile up to your boyfriend, trying to pat down your hair as best as you could. Streaks of your runny eye makeup and faded lipstick made him giggle softly, a proud trophy he considered after the sinful events of the last twenty minutes.

"You look like you've learned your lesson," he smirks, leaning over to plant a soft kiss against your cheek. He pulls out another paper towel and begins to gently touch up your makeup the best that he could, though with all his best efforts you still looked like you were lawlessly railed without any signs of regret.

"What about me? Do I look presentable?"

You giggled at the sight of his wrinkled shirt and mess of drenched hair, running your fingers through his bangs in an attempt to make him look not-so-guilty of the heinous acts he'd just committed out of distasteful jealousy.

--

"Oh, there you are. We thought you guys had left already," Yeosang smiles as you and Yunho hobbled awkwardly into your seats. You flinched as you sat, still feeling the rawness in your hole where Yunho had recklessly fucked you like it was no one’s immediate business.

"Were you crying?" Jongho says, noticing the smudged residue of mascara and eyeliner that Yunho had failed to completely wipe clean. Yunho takes notice and proceeds to gently pat a napkin against your face.

Yunho smiled assuringly in your direction. “What? No, those are happy tears, you see," he teased, flashing you a pretty grin with perfect teeth.

"Oh? That's good to hear, then," Wooyoung sighed, nudging Jongho's arm. "See? They weren’t arguing.”

Jongho rolls his eyes.

“Anyhow,” Hongjoong continues, turning to face you, "you’re very beautiful and we very much appreciated getting to finally meet you,” he smiles, turning his attention to Yunho next. “She's a real gem, so never forget to treat her right,” he finishes, sending a small wink in your direction.

Yunho squeezed your thigh under the table, turning a gentle smile back in your direction.

"Trust me when I say, taking good care of her is my top priority."

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[icyharrington]

haii okay this is #82 on the prompt list for steve, requested also by my lovely boothang @wroteclassicaly​ !!

“this is a one time thing.”

contains: daddy kink, blowjobs, deepthroating/face fucking, dirty talk, u suck steve’s dick at work lol

“You’re- fuck- crazy,” Steve Harrington breathes against your mouth as you shove him back into the supply closet of Scoops Ahoy with enough force to knock several cleaning products off of the shelf. He goes to pick them up off the floor, but you stop him in his tracks, yanking him back to you by the front of his dorky uniform. “Fuck. We have to be quick or Robin’s gonna kick my ass.”

“You are so cute when you’re nervous,” you coo, standing on your tiptoes so you can wrap your arms behind his neck. “Especially in your little outfit.”

“Gee, thanks, (y/n)! That totally wasn’t emasculating at all,” he mutters bitterly, before plucking his hat off and flinging it off to the side. “There. Better? Now you can see my hair in all its glory.”

“No, I liked it!” you protest, pouting at him the way you always do when you’re being particularly bratty. “I’ve always wanted to blow you while you’re in your work uniform.”

He scrunches up his face in a mixture of apparent disgust and confusion, which makes you laugh. “Why?”

“I dunno. Why not?” You sink to your knees, unbuckling his belt. He licks his lips as he watches you, the anxiety on his face transforming into something entirely different, but all too familiar.

“I can’t believe you visited me at my job just to do this,” he murmurs, although he doesn’t sound particularly vexed. It sounds more like he’s in awe of your boldness, if anything. “You are so fucking bad.”

“I should visit you here more often,” you think aloud, as your fingers work his shorts down to gather around his ankles. He’s wearing a pair of plain white boxers underneath, which you think look sexy on him despite their plainness, but then again, you literally think he’s sexy in a cheesy sailor costume.

He’s frowning, but it’s obvious that he’s trying very hard to maintain his rule-abiding facade. “No, (y/n). This is a one time thing, okay? I could lose my job.”

You stick your tongue out at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest defiantly. “You’re really going to deprive your girlfriend of two different types of free cream?”  

You say this to make Steve laugh, and it works; he’s shaking his head incredulously, arms lifting to fold behind his head as he grins down at you. “You are such a fucking slut, (y/n). I mean, jeez!”

Reaching into his underwear, you take hold of this gradually strengthening erection, working it back and forth in your fist for a few strokes until he’s fully hard. Steve’s cock is big, and even though you’re well aware of that fact, it’s still such a shock each time you wrap your fingers around his thick length. You love to tease him there, trailing your fingertips up and down the protruding veins that travel through, until he’s swearing lowly under his breath. “Yeah, but you love it, though.”

“Yeah, ya got me there.” He takes a fistful of (h/c) hair as you strip off his boxers, taking him into your mouth without hesitation. “Fuck. You’re my little slut. Can’t get enough of my big dick, can you?”

You attempt to shake your head as you move your head up and down his length, placing your hands on his muscular thighs in order to take him deep, just how he likes. His head lolls back as he lets out a hoarse groan from the back of his throat, bucking his hips against your face until you’re sputtering. “Yeah, I like you like this. It’s the only time you’re not running that bratty-ass mouth.”

Since you’re unable to retort, you shoot a venomous glare in his direction, though you continue to work on his cock with your mouth. He has a firm hold on the back of your head, preventing you from drawing back when he begins to slide his cock further into your narrow throat. “Yeah, good girl. Take all of it.”

He keeps you in place as he shifts himself back and forth, fucking your face at a leisurely tempo; and, like his little whore, you stay kneeling for him, hands folded primly in your lap. It’s a dynamic that you love- you, the devious, mastermind submissive, and Steve, the flustered dominant.

You can’t do much besides bat your eyelashes up at him as he essentially uses your mouth to masturbate, his jaw clenching as he knits his brows in concentration. He’s going so hard that there’s saliva dribbling down your chin and black smudges of mascara ringing your eyes, but you’re too wrapped up in his taste to care how badly he’s wrecking you.

“Fuck- yeah, that’s it. Take it nice and deep for daddy,” he encourages, his breath lodging in his throat for a brief moment. He loosens his grip on your hair, allowing you to regain some control of the situation. You decide to relocate your mouth to his balls for a change in scenery, reveling in his frantic moans as your tongue laps aimlessly at the sensitive skin there. “Fuck, (y/n). That’s my good little slut. You gonna swallow all my cum, baby?”

You nod eagerly, between sloppy strokes of your tongue against him. “You know I will, daddy.”

“Shit…” he mumbles, looping a portion of your hair around his hand and using it to steer you back to your original position. “Open your mouth.”

You do as you’re told, opening wide as he angles his cock over your mouth, pumping himself with his fist until his stomach muscles contract, a telltale sign that he’s about to cum. He manages a breathless, “wider,” before he releases his load into your waiting mouth, his orgasm accompanied by a series of strangled grunts and moans.

Steve is so sexy when he cums, with his plump lips bitten red and forehead slick with afterglow; you watch him adoringly as he rides out his orgasm, mouth falling open to call your name.

You swallow his cum, letting the salty-sweet taste coat your mouth as it slides down your throat. Once it’s gone, you proudly display your empty mouth for Steve to let him know that you’ve done your job.

It takes a moment for him to snap back into reality, his eyes half-lidded and dazed as they scan his surroundings, and then you. He strokes your hair with his massive hands, humming, “that’s my girl.”

He redresses himself as you stand up and retrieve his hat for him, which you find overturned beside the mop bucket. Your knees are sore and will likely be covered in bruises tomorrow, but you don’t mind a few bumps here and there if it means pleasing Steve. “Do you think Robin’s wondering where you are yet?”

“No,” comes a familiar singsong voice from the other side of the closet door, and you and Steve whip your heads to look at each other, eyes wide. Of course Robin had overheard the whole encounter, and had chosen not to say anything until now. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell! As long as you promise to wash your hands before you get back to work, Stevey-poo.”

Robin laughs obnoxiously, and you’re caught between drinking the nearest cleaning chemical or busting into hysterics yourself.

Steve, on the other hand, looks like he wants to die, a pained expression painted across his crimson-flushed cheeks.

“God fucking damn it, (y/n).”

[0strawberrysorbet0]

𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑜𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑚!𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟!

𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝑜𝑏𝑣𝑖)

Was clearly goin for a pink thing with this today 🤷‍♀️

Pls enjoy this! Velvette is becoming a very unhealthy obsession of mine 😁

Please do not use/steal my work on this site or any other! Reblogs and likes are appreciated greatly!!

Warnings: Crazy oblivious, Jealous Vel, cursing, Valentino, my rushed ass writing

How did you get this gorgeous overlord wrapped tightly around your finger? Well, it all started when she recruited you for modelling, I mean you were gorgeous!! 😍

She had instantly made you her top model, pasting your face on every fashion magazine and billboard.

She even let you be in her live streams!!

In your head she was such a sweet boss, you felt like she was honestly your friend at this point!

But she wanted more, she wanted you to comment with hearts whenever she posted pictures of herself,

She wanted you to post pictures of you and her and caption them: 'with my beautiful girl❤' instead of 'with my beautiful boss ❤'.

She just wanted to be bae :/

She even got to the point where she'd leave you new dresses custom made for you, they'd be layed neatly on your bed with scribbled little notes about how "a pretty girl like you shouldn't dress so tacky!"

Gift giving was something she loved to do with you, dresses, flowers, shoes, chocolates, ect. If you even mention wanting or needing something it'll be on your bed at the end of the day.

She even (after throwing a fit and breaking a lot of shit) got your room moved closer to hers, she stated that it was just so another slimy bitch won't steal another one of her models.

NOT BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE AS CLOSE AS SHE COULD WITH YOU. not that reason AT ALL!

"Doll.. Doll wake up!" "Huh?.. Vel it's 6am.."

She had gotten into the habit of waking you up early for extra shoots, not that they'd ever be published. She'd put those in her room, just for her 😙

It got to the point where Vox and Val were trying to get her to ask you out! "I just don't get why you won't ask her out? Hm? Nervous princesa?~" "FUCK OFF VAL" Meanwhile Vox was just laughing his ass off.

She hadn't even meant to confess 😞 she was just screaming about you over the phone to Vox without realizing you were there the whole time.

"VOX SHUT UP, IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHO I LIKE, AND I DON'T LIKE HER! I'M SERIOUS I DON'T LIKE (Y/N) LIKE THAT!"

" You don't like me? 😢"

"(Y/N)! Holy shit don't you knock?!" Girl is terrified tbh.

She had to confess now 😞 TWICE! Your oblivious ass didn't get it at first. "Oh I like you too! (≧∇≦)/"

Safe to say she turned the same shade as her hair. She was now your girlfriend! 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 girlfriend! She'd Brag about to everyone.

You think she spoiled you at first? Oh no. It's even worse now. Bags filling in your room, you dare mention a product? She bought it. Oh you like that dress? Take it.

Despite her tough act, she was a totally different person around you, still bratty but super clingy, she'd want you to hold her while she complained about her day.

"That bitch spilt something on that new dress! What am I going to do!? We have a shoot tomorrow!!"

I feel like she'd like her hair brushed, she'd love to be pampered and pamper you. She'd sit with a face mask on as you painted her nails.

In summary, the girl just wants to love you and be loved back. Even if you're a little slow sometimes. ❤

[jadeddangel]

Creepypast & Marble Hornets headcannons:

Jeff the Killer:

100% sneaks into your house/ room just to wake you up randomly to spook you

If he ever took you on a date it would 100% be to the cheapest cinema in town cause my man's is broke

Your the breadwinner, you can make $2 a month and still be the breadwinner

He buys axe body spray and sags his jeans like a middle school boy and you can't convince me otherwise

Opened a nesquick Powdered milk tub with a table saw cause he couldn't get him open

Doesn't know how to undo child proof locks on meds no matter how many times you explain it to him

"No Jeff your not listening. Press down and then turn it," your voice scolded

"I'm trying! Damn you woman!!" Jeff yelled back

Yea, he never opened the jar right

Masky:

It started with you and Tim dating and then when you met masky you trying getting to know him

He ignores you at first, more focused on doing his job then dealing with his other half's lover

He's smart, he'll pick locks open jars and complete puzzles in no time flat

He doesn't make money but Tim does so indirectly he's the breadwinner

He'll start hanging out with you after getting tired of sleeping on the downstairs couch

He's not nice, like at all, he's very blunt and when it comes to any type of criticism, constructive or not, he's pointing out every miniscule flaw

Don't bother lying to him, he can see right through it and it pisses him off

It doesn't matter your gender or your sex. He's turning around when you change any form of your clothes. He's big on privacy

"Masky? C'mon masky, it's just a sweater you don't have to turn. I'm wearing a shirt underneath, " you sighed, pulling your sweater off

Masky shook his head. "I don't care sometimes you don't wear a shirt under them, and i don't wanna see your nipples," masky spoke bluntly

Yeaaaa, if you can't tell your sex life is totally (not) amazing with man

Tim:

As I said before Tim has a job, he Linda needs it to pay for his smoking habits

Speaking of smoking, he hates when you do any kind of drugs, he doesn't want you to end up like he did

He's surprising clingy behind closed doors and really likes being your little spoon

He constantly takes showers and cleans your shared home, even if no one except for you, him and masky will see it.

He has this bad habit of just buying whatever he craves, so when he goes to the store, expect the bill to be rather high

As I said before he's clingy behind closed doors but when it comes to pda the most he'll do is lock your pinkies together

"Tim, pleaseeeee I just wanna hold your hand! Just five minutes, and if you don't like it, you don't have to keep holding my hand. " You tried to bargain

Tim sighed "fine fine but you're giving me your box of cigarettes. Don't think I didn't smell them on you"

He has a sharp nose, so there's no point in trying to hide things from him

Hoodie:

Hoodie was beyond confused when he first met you, he had a whole "who what when where why?" Moment

You and brain both pay for everything so there's not really a breadwinner

Hoodie is rather quiet, it's not because he's awkward or shy, he just has nothing to say

Hoodie Hates coffee, he's more of a tea or energy drink guy

I hate to say this(no I dont), but he's a stoner, he hates all vape or smoking products except for weed

He usually sticks to weed vapes since it's less work and he can be a bit lazy when it comes to that

I mean his hygiene is ok he doesn't really shave or trim any thing but his beard but yknow he do him

Speaking of , he leaves his beard shavings all over the sink and leaves the toilet seat up

"HOODIE! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW" You shouted to get the man's attention

Hoodie walked in. "What?" He said monotonely

You pointed at the sink and then the toilet "pick up your fucking mess!!"

Hoodie shook his head "Nah I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though. "

You would probably try and beat him up if he couldn't just wollop our ass

Brian:

He's such a sweet boy,it like he's made out of cotton candy

He's mostly did cleaning and cooking on top of his job but after switching back from hoodie, he's out of commission for like a week

He picks up after himself, and does his own laundry and there's never beard trimmings in the sink

He occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat down but it's rather rare

He's not too clingy but he does cuddle up sometimes

HES A FUCKING FURNACE WHEN HE SLEEPS

"Brian pleaseee get off!! It's the middle of summer! It's too hot to be cuddling" you huffed sleepily

"Shhh just let me hold you.." Brian muttered

Ticci Toby:

Your the breadwinner. Period

You think this man has a job? Hah funny

He hates when he tics especially when you are trying to have intimate moments together

You guys have to be silly during sex especially when he has a verbal tic and just yells bird

"Fuck toby right there~" you moaned out holding onto his shoulders tightly

"I'm so c-*whistles* shit sorry~" toby moaned out a bit embarrassed

"Toby it's ok it's normal~.." you muttered a bit trying to keep your voice even

Toby nodded "fuck I lov-Birds!" Toby shouted

You both looked at eachother before bursting out laughing just holding eachother close

Overall aside from Toby's horrible moodswings at times and his "work" you guys have a pretty helpful relationship

Slenderman:

No, Just no

This man is toxic asf when you guys first meet, definitely a manipulator

He tones it down after a bit but still gaslights you into getting what he wants

When he gets angry, please down run from him- he will track you down and may or may not resort to physical violence to get you to learn your lesson

If you ask about the missing children he WILL gaslight you into thinking that's he's told you before and it hurts that you forgot and won't tell you again

Sex? What sex? You think he would let you even get close enought to see that shit happen hah very funny

"Slenderman? Cmon I'm sorry you know I didn't mean to hurt you.." you muttered softly

"No. I already told you, and you forgot.. it is insensitive of you and unwise of me to tell you again, " he responded through your mind. And though he doesn't have eyes, you could only assume he was glaring

He's not healthy for you, but you've got yourself into this for life and there's only 1 way to get out

Eyeless jack:

Just like Jeff he'll sneak into your room

You literally can't get rid of him

He won't talk or anything, just stand and stares

He doesn't cuddle and he barely touches you

He definitely tried to offer you a kidney as a way of telling you he appreciates you

No hygiene whatsoever, he doesn't shave and it takes a month before you even get him to shower

He mostly just grumbles and groans to let you know he understands what your saying

He's really smart, puzzles, locks ,and riddles are no match for him

He's blunt, when he does talk it's rare, bit it's honest and unfiltered

You guys barely have sex and honestly you've probably never seen his face

"Jack, please!! I just wanna see your face, " you whined, laying yourself over his lap

"I said no, and if you keep asking, I'll eat you. Literally, " Jack retorted

Yeaaaa he meant it literally and you could tell

[mochinomnoms]

Thinking about the period stuff now and just thinking that the boys who would be total champs should Reader/Yuu be on would be;

Jamil - He's not only seen it all with his own sister, but has probably had to help Kalim's sisters at some point or another too. He's dealt with the worst cramps and flows to the "I didn't even notice I was on" girlies.

Ortho - Baby boys a walking Medwiki, has probably known your cycle before your first conversation with him. Would be more fascinated than grossed out by period stuff than most boys in the school.

Rook - Like Ortho, probably knows when you're on before you even realised you were and has a box of your preferred method of dealing with it in hand by the bathroom stall at the ready. Don't ask why he's in the toilet with you or how he knew what size pussy you wear, just be glad that in an all boys school, you have at least one (1!) friend willing to carry spare tampons/towls/mooncups/whatever for you.

Cater - Poor guys got 4 sisters and has been an unwilling student in all the "joys" of menstration. He'll look out for his favourite underclassman and bask in the praise of being such a reliable senpai/big brother type. But if his sisters are nuts normally, he's gonna have to work through some instense war flashbacks before he's any good to you.

Kalim - Most likely has a lot of sisters who are at the age where their dealing with this stuff, does his best bless him to take care of them but c'mon, it's Kalim. As soon as he tries people are calling for Jamil instead. That plus the sheer mythic level of cat fighting should any of his 30+ siblings syncronize means that like Cater, might be too scared to approach you at first but he makes it on this list for sheer effort and desire to help.

Of the human students, these all make a lot of sense! I def think the idea that Ortho already knew about your cycle before even knowing your name is super funny.

Little man's got a storage unit in him that has those stickable heating pads, pads/tampons, and pain medicine. One day, at a time that you know of Ortho, but never really spoken to him, he floats up to you. You're looking at him all confused before he opens up a compartment, takes out the above-mentioned supplies, and just hands them to you. He chirps about you needing them and lets you know that he's always well-equipped if you need anything else!

You're standing there with Ace and Deuce, confused. Your period doesn't start for another week, why did he—how does he even know your cycle? (That night, you notice that you started early).

And Rook? Fucking freak of nature he is. Why does he know your exact brand and period product preferences? Cause the man, similar to Ortho, is walking up to you one day, prattling on in poetic fashion about the beauties of human biology and reproduction (fucking weirdass). He hands you a small bag with your items, all the exact ones you get from Sam, down to the exact flow size. He tells you that you should consider heading to the bathroom now. Walking off, you freeze as you feel yourself get wet. You rush to the bathroom, finding that you started your period right at that moment.

Ortho is excusable, he's a robot. Rook's on thin fucking ice and is now required to stay 6 feet away from you at all times. If he wants to give you something, he can have Epel deliver it. He wins your favor back by buying you snacks, and you let him near you again. Just stop reciting poetry about the menstrual cycle, Rook I beg—

[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 14 - the sparklers.

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, alcohol.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

"Wonhee will be there!" you exclaimed as you tossed your phone away.

Both Hyunjin and Minho looked at you curiously. "Who?" Hyunjin asked.

Minho was quick to hit his arm, causing the man to wince at the touch. "You've met her before, don't act like you don't know who she is."

"I would but I genuinely have no idea."

"Y/N's sister," Chan informed as he joined the three of you with a clipboard in hands. "We saw her at the bar last time we went."

"Right," Hyunjin hummed with a frown.

"Alright," Chan continued. "Hyunjin, we still have the pictures with Lix to take and then your part will be over. Jisung?"

The assistant hurried to his boss and smiled. "Here."

"Could you and Changbin change the background?"

Your best friend let out a grunt. "Again?"

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?" you said with a glare and it was plenty to shut him off and make him join Jisung at the task.

Things were advancing well with the campaign. You had much more positive feedback, even if many still believed you had tried to poison your clientele. Nonetheless, people were loving seeing you and Chan interact in such ways that they would have never thought of seeing ever. Still, he remained very unpleasant towards you, but you weren't any better so it was a fair game.

"Hair and makeup done!" Felix cheered as he walked in the studio, his GoPro pointed towards himself. "Y/N has chosen beautiful colours as you can see," he showed his eye makeup. "And, of course, Chan's new cream was used for my skin."

"Do you ever stop filming?" Jisung rolled his eyes.

"And we have our beloved Jisung who seem to be pretty grumpy this afternoon."

They continued to bicker in the background which made you chuckle as you moved on with sorting products out. You peeked at your checklist to make sure you had everything you needed and began to check the items. It wasn't long after that Chan leaned next to you on the table. With his rolled up sleeves of his black buttoned shirt, he perked an eyebrow as he watched you intensely. You did your best to ignore him but the man was not budging.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" you said between your teeth.

"Busy doing something totally unnecessary. Might I say, Y/N, I am disappointed," he said in a cheeky way.

"I prefer double-checking and being organized, is that so wrong?"

He shrugged. "I just think you're wasting time. Besides, the guys have the makeup on already. What's the point in checking?"

"In case we forgot, we can still put it– Why am I even bothering to explain this to you?" you groaned, dropping the list on the table and walking off.

This might have been the tenth encounter of this sort that you'd had with him today and knowing he was still going to be around until late at night, this was not encouraging in any way. Perhaps backing out and staying at home was a better option.

But having Wonhee as a sister meant she had to force you to come along, especially since you were the one to invite her technically. After you had went back home, washed up and changed, you were walking to the club with your arms linked. Jeongin was the one to change the destination, arguing that it would be more fun than a regular restaurant with alcohol on the side.

"So how many are we going to be exactly?" Wonhee questioned you as you were getting closer to your destination.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you counted in your mind. "Let's see... Well, Bin and Minho obviously so them plus us is four. Jeongin, that makes us five. Chan and his staff, so that's now eight... And with Hyunjin and Felix, that makes us ten," you smiled.

Your sister, however, looked at you doubtfully. "Chan's staff... Does it mean..?"

You chuckled. "Yes, Seungmin will be there."

She stopped on her tracks right away. "You didn't think of telling me that?"

"When I said everyone would be there, I thought it obviously implied Seungmin."

"Y/N, I can't meet him like this!" she shouted while looking down at her outfit.

"You look fine," you rolled your eyes.

Forcefully, you dragged her all the way to the club as she babbled about how ugly she looked — though she was very much adequately dressed for the occasion. As you walked in, it didn't take long for you to spot the tall Hyunjin who was chatting with the one you dreaded to see once again. Chan had, for once, decided to let go of his usual dark attires and wore a tight white shirt with oversized pants. His hair was slicked back and he adorned his ears with silver jewellery. You couldn't deny he looked fine as hell, especially with the lighting that emphasized the veins on his arms. The way he was leaning on the table and taking a few sips of his drink was insanely attractive.

"You're staring," Wonhee commented and you glared at her.

"I spotted Hyunjin, that's all."

She definitely did not believe you and was about to make another remark until her eyes fell upon Seungmin. Instantly, she froze on the spot with a gulp.

"Who's staring now?" you laughed and it was her turn to glare.

"And the Ko sisters have arrived!" Jeongin exclaimed as he came to join you along with Minho, engulfing you two into his embrace. "I managed to reserve a table for everyone."

He led you to where you had previously stared at and didn't let you say a thing before sitting you down next to Chan. You were about to get up and yell at your friend but a hand grabbed your wrist to pull you back down. Again, you were seated and Chan's grasp moved from your wrist to your shoulder.

"What-"

He put a finger on your mouth, shushing you. "There are people around, we're a couple right now."

As you scanned the club, you saw how some people had stopped to greet Hyunjin and Jeongin while others took pictures. Right, you were surrounded with well-known models. You hesitantly snuggled into his embrace before he placed a small peck on the top of your head. It took everything in you to not puke right there and then.

"Get a room," Felix joked as he sat on your other side. "Since when do you kiss her?"

Chan sighed. "It wasn't a kiss. Don't you have more important things to do instead of judging me?"

"I do, you're right. So? Who's paying tonight? I need to get myself something to drink."

Seungmin joined in and took his credit card out. "I don't mind paying this time."

This caused Wonhee's eyes to glow and she rushed to the man. "Seungminnie, could I get something too?"

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

You noticed Minho — who had watched the interaction with much displeasure — rolling his eyes with one hand in his pocket and the other holding his newly bought cocktail. Poor guy.

"Could you please order my drink as well, Felix?" you asked the man as he snatched Seungmin's card out of his hand.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

To this, Chan's eyes darkened at his friend. Before you could give your answer, he spoke for you. "I'll pay for her drink, you may go."

Felix gulped, getting slightly scared of his friend, but nodded before walking to the bar. You scoffed at your fake-lover and removed his arm that laid on your shoulder.

"You really are a pain in the ass," you grunted.

"I should be the one paying for you, don't you think?"

"I can pay for myself."

He scoffed. "You say that now but asked for Felix to get you something with Seungmin's card. You had no issue with that."

"It's Seungmin, not you."

With that, you stood up and headed towards where Minho was as he was the furthest away from the man you despised so much. As he saw you approaching with fuming ears, his eyes widened.

"Woah, don't be mad at me, I did nothing," he hurried to say with his hands up.

"Where's Changbin?"

"No idea, he disappeared when we arrived."

You groaned out of frustration. "Great, it's always when I need him that he disappears."

Minho faked being hurt. "Am I not a good enough? You really prefer Changbin over me?" he cried.

You deadpanned at him. "Shut up, I'm pissed and he's the only one who can calm down. Besides, you're pissed as well, you wouldn't be much help."

"I'm not pissed," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, right. Don't tell me seeing my sister all over Seungmin doesn't fill you with anger."

That shut him up real quick and he pouted while sipping on his alcohol. From afar, the two of you looked miserable. You watched people on the dancefloor with a bored stare. It took only a few minutes for Chan to find you again and you couldn’t help but groan again.

“I’m going to find Changbin.”

Minho nodded at your statement as to say “good luck” and you took off. It was hard to walk through the sweaty crowd but, eventually found your best friend discussing with a woman who had definitely drank more than she could handle. He was quick to meet eyes with you and abandon the lady upon seeing how displeased you looked.

“What did I miss?” he asked while you stole his beer, drinking it in one go. “Woah, take it easy!”

“I won’t when this bastard is up in my ass.”

He sighed. “You can’t be saying this here.”

“Why? Because we are in public? Weren’t you the first one to disagree with this?”

“I was but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about how a small thing can ruin you again.”

You scoffed. “I’m only speaking the truth. Now, where can I get a shot?”

Changbin didn’t want to comply to your demands as he knew you would get yourself so drunk to the point you wouldn’t be able to stand. At the same time, you were so stubborn that it was impossible to get in your way sometimes. Felling guilty already, he brought you to the nearest bar and ordered four shots for the two of you. You chugged them not even a second after getting a hold of them. Wincing at the strong liquor, you still ordered one more, and one more after.

“How many has she had?” Jeongin asked in a concerned voice, watching you dance clumsily with Changbin.

“Who?” Chan said as he hadn’t really been observing what was going on.

“Your girlfriend,” Wonhee laughed as she pulled her phone out to capture the moment in a video. “Oh, she’s so going to hate me for this.”

Chan’s head shot up from his nearly empty glass to try and find you. When he did, his eyes widened at the sight. With your rosy cheeks, you were smiling admirably to your best friend who was trying his best to keep you up on your feet. He was glad you were not alone but the way you were holding to one another didn’t look as if you were only friends. It bothered him. Only because of your arrangement, of course. Before he was thinking, his body got up from his seat and he walked towards you. Without saying a thing, he separated you from Changbin and took over with holding you. You were probably too drunk to even process the change of dance partner, but Changbin only removed himself silently. He wouldn’t bother with protesting anyway; Chan’s eyes were enough to make him want to pee himself right there and then.

“How many did you drink?” he said into your ear, and you shivered.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you had too much.”

You pouted at him. “It’s your fault.”

“Mine? You were the one storming off.”

“Because you were annoying,” you cried, which made him sigh.

He dragged you all the way back to the table where the others were drinking reasonably. He sat you next to your sister, but she wasn’t much of a help. If anything, she was only laughing at your physical state and taking pictures. Sighing again, he took it upon himself to get you water to sober up. You already seemed to be a little better.

“They’re selling cakes with sparklers if it’s your birthday!” Felix said enthusiastically while pointing at the corner of the club. “We should get some.”

At this, you pushed the glass of water away from you and clapped. “Oh, for sure!”

Chan mentally cursed at himself before glaring at Felix. “Do you really want to fake a birthday only to get some cheap sparklers?”

You slapped his chest and his eyes widened from the contact. “They’re pretty.”

“So am I and you have me for free.”

Felix and Seungmin held back a laugh while you simply shrugged. “I’m getting some whether you like it or not.”

Before he could stop you, you were off with Felix, Seungmin and Wonhee to get sparklers. Who the fuck were selling these things in a club anyway? It was bound to be a disaster. He wondered if he should at least follow to keep an eye on you but the decision was quickly made when he saw you stumble on your feet, almost falling.

You felt a pair of arms holding you and you frowned. "Why do you have to act like I can't do things on my own?" you whined.

"Y/N, you almost fell face first."

Grumbling disapprovals, you still grabbed onto him for safety until you were at the cake counter. Felix was the one to discuss with the girl in charge of the cakes and they argued a bit as she noticed it was none of you's birthday. As they keot on bickering, Chan rolled his eyes as he knew he had to step in.

"Excuse me?" he cleared his throat grabbing the woman's attention.

The moment she saw he had just spoken, her posture straightened. "Mr. Bang," she almost whispered. "What an honour to have you here!"

"I understand my friends do not fit into your criterias for the cakes but I swear they only really want to play with the sparklers."

"I'm sorry, sir, but sparklers in a club-"

"I'll take them outside for when we lit them up, I promise."

By magic, this did the trick and the woman gave you about thirty of them. Seungmin went to get the others and you all went outside to lit them up. You, Felix and Jeongin were the most excited about them while Chan and Changbin were the most worried. Nonetheless, you took Minho's lighter from him as soon as he took it out of his pocket and hurried yourself to lit your sparklers up.

You admired them for what seemed to be an eternity until you ran out of them. Hyunjin declared this was enough for the night as he still had work to do the following day. The rest ended up agreeing and you all walked home.

"I'll take her," Chan said to Changbin who was not willing to let you go.

"I'm the assigned person to take her home."

"It'll be weird if a man other than her lover does it."

Changbin, for once, didn't budge. "Listen, Bang. I get you two have this thing for publicity but she is in a vulnerable state right now. While I do get your point, you're not the one who has known her for eight years and been there when she needed someone the most. Don't think because you are supposedly her boyfriend that you get to take this from us."

And he left with you.

This might have come from a deeper place than simply getting you home but Changbin had had enough. He couldn't risk you getting hurt by this man. Especially not when he had noticed how you were warming up to him.

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[weebsinstash]

Now Im interested on the "What if the 3 Vs passed Reader around like a blunt"

I kind of meant it in like a "what if you were some weird shared friend/pet" but I've seen people HC that the 3Vs are poly, although we've never seen any canon confirmation of this and on the Instas it was always Vox who was Val's explicit partner

Although to be nasty I feel like Velvette would be fucked up enough to watch Reader get railed by Val and Vox. Like in some party scenario where you're with all 3 in their house and Valentino dopes you up or something, she's just like, recording you getting spitroasted on her phone

I usually imagine these sorts of scenarios as Reader meeting Val and then slowly drawing the attention of the others, although Vox really has grown on me and I hope we see more of him these last two episodes. Anyways i'm starting to like the idea of Reader meeting Vox first. Like can you imagine you get hired on as a coder or a programmer or a product developer, and he's patrolling the facilities or checking in on a specific project and that's when you meet. He either notices the quality of your work or your manager brings it up to him, or there's some massive metaphorical fire you put out (like that woman who saved toy story 2 from being completely erased because she had all the files backed up, something like that)

You and Vox get to talking, getting along, having similar tastes. He starts giving you different projects, ones he thinks are better suited to your skills (and also put you in closer proximity to him). Fucking liar is arranging shit like company calendars or company events where there are photoshoots JUST so he has an excuse to pose with you for a photo. I mean, it makes sense right? Why would you question your boss wanting to take a celebratory photo at the release of a huge product launch? And you're happy and feeling so respected and successful and being friendlier with him the more you settle into Hell and feel safer, and then I imagine Vox's way of being "obvious" is that he's like, easily nervous or a nervous laugher , I dunno. It's all preference but I like yandere/antagonists who keep their cool a little bit but then it's also cute when they fawn over you 🥰 like the people who know him see the way he laughs around you and they Instantly Know

But then, maybe Val is perceptive enough to notice, "hey why does my man keep taking photos with this one specific person". Like maybe Vox is trying to be slick with it and all the photos are group shots but Val notices that every single photo has you in it and some of the photos are for really minor events he knows Vox wouldn't normally care about. Vox slips up one day when you and him are "sharing a car to go to a company event" which totally isn't like a catered dinner that there are only going to be SO many people at, TOTALLY NOT an incognito date that you're complerely unaware of the intentions behind, and Vox has to stop in back home to grab something, or you get pulled inside for a moment just to wait, he's gotta grab a laptop or a flash drive and, suddenly here's Velvette, "Vox I'm borrowing your nerdy employee, I'm short someone and I need a model for something" and you're getting dragged away

Vox is freaking out thinking you got swiped by Val and he's zipping through the electrical lines in the house (the electro-teleportation shit really is SUCH a game changer), and he finds you trying on things with Velvette, "oh my gosh I've never worn something this nice before, thank you for giving me the opportunity to try it on ^^" and Velvette is so pompous that any praise goes right to her head, and now Vox gets to see you all styled in... whatever. Velvette waves a finger, "now you two match!" as she puts you in an outfit with Vox's aesthetic and color scheme, and she's doing it to tease the both of you but she IMMEDIATELY notices "oh hey Vox what's that look on your face >:3c does someone have a crush?"

SHE would be the fucking gossip who would tell Val honestly. Actually new headcanon lmao: the Vs rarely want to share you but will rat each other out for "having you" in a heart beat. Velvette and Vox hide you from Val, but any of them will gladly steal you from the other lmao. God, a yandere Vox who's lucid and tryna keep his behaviors under wraps, keep it to pictures, stalking and looking from afar, and then you have the other two Vs like SHOVING YOU at him as like, a joke to watch him squirm and blush. They'd be randomly bringing you along just to tease him and watch him sweat. Valentino hits Vox up for a date or a night out and the tv demon shows up and you're there too lmao

I feel like these three are the worst because they all have the capacity to be obsessed with your appearance. Velvette is an influencer, Vox is a TV mogul and tech CEO, and Valentino... obviously we don't need to comment on his penchant for having arm candy. All of them are obsessed with their appearance and their brand and one of them is literally a tailor with magical clothes changing powers. You could have something like the other two Vs show up while you're serving Val drinks and Velvette cocks her brow, "hey, why doesn't this one have a proper uniform?" And she just starts zapping you into different varying levels of exposed outfits that match the other employees at the strip club and Val's aesthetic just for kicks as the big man himself oogles you like a pervert and his boyfriend is pretending he's not interested but, his screen is totally turning red

Tbh I'm suddenly thinking of like, imagine thinking "your body is safe" because Val has never come onto you and, you aren't sleeping with anyone and, you get upset one night and do some self harming behaviors. Velvette or Valentino comes and demands you try something on or you get nonconsensually zapped into something and there are cuts hidden on your body. Velvette is furious because this affects how you look in her clothes and what she can dress you up in, Vox is you know concerned because idk I imagine he knows what it's like to be horribly insecure and feel like you aren't good enough, and Valentino probably loves having you constantly half naked and the self harm scabs? Not hot, babe. Obviously they're all upset over you hurting yourself but, these are occasional feelings on top of that

Ugh I dunno just. They all have power and influence and money and they're all crazy and I'm over here kicking my feet and twirling my hair with thoughts of being objectified in allllll the fun ways

[monsterblogging]

So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.

This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.

Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.

And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.

"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.

Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).

People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)

Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")

People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.

This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: heartsteel yone x male reader

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Yone goes through great lengths to hide his soft spot for you.

ʀᴇ𝐐: no ~ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.29k

ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: reader is implied trans, if you squint, and allergic to dust

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Sett's eyes scanned the new list pinned on the fridge, his ears twitching in anticipation for his weekly chore.

CHORE CHART:

Yone - laundry

Sett - take out trash – gently, please

Okay, he could do that. He could do that just fine. Controlling his strength was easy, after all.

Sett's chore was second on the list, meaning he hadn't seen the rest, and it got him curious, so he continued to read.

K’Sante - grocery shopping

Ezreal - dusting

Aphelios - vacuum

Kayn - dishes – ALL of them

Y/N - n/a

What? No, that wasn't possible. You weren't doing anything? That wasn't fair! That was less than fair, it was an actual insult to his pride!

Sett had to do something.

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Yone sat on his bed, folding the boys' collective laundry with ease and stacking them up on organized piles. Clothing that was meant to be hanged, instead, had already been placed on their high quality, wooden, color-coded hangers, off to the side.

Yone was meticulous in this, he paid attention to the details. After all, the last time he gave the task to one of the other boys, he had found his clothes had wrinkled, and he didn't want a repeat.

Besides, he also found folding laundry to be quite peaceful. It allowed him to take his mind off the production and upkeep of HEARTSTEEL, and instead keep it busy with the repetitive, simple movements of folding clothing.

Had Yone not been an attentive man, he wouldn't have noticed the purposefully quiet sound of the door as it clicked open and shut, nor the padding of socked feet that covered the distance to the bed with quick strides.

Had you not been Yone's favorite man, he wouldn't have let you in without so much as a word.

"Hi Yone." It was a simple greeting, but Yone thought it was the sweetest thing in the world.

"Hello, sweetheart." Yone didn't even protest when you sat down beside him, let alone on his bed. He only remained curious, "What are you doing here?"

"I thought folding the laundry for six big boys would be much too boring and tedious to do all on your lonesome."

"Seven big boys." Yone corrected.

"Seven big boys." You repeated in affirmation.

Yone placed his hand over yours when you pulled one of Sett's big muscle shirts over your lap, opening his mouth to say he didn't want you "straining yourself", when you gave him a pointed look he couldn't say no to. A sigh slipped from his lips instead, and he let go of your hand after giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you." You said, turning your gaze back to the black shirt.

Yone wanted to say it was nothing to be thankful for, but he knew that you wouldn't care for that, so instead he went back to his manners. "You're welcome."

There was a peaceful silence afterwards. Yone liked his silences as much as he liked his music, but he wanted to fill it up with something. You were here, after all, but what could he say?

He didn't need to find a topic of conversation, however, not with Sett bursting through the door. "Yone!"

"Sett." The producer grumbled in reply, setting his hands over his lap, which just so happened to behold Ezreal's rubber ducky patterned pajama shirt. "Kayn, Ezreal..."

Aphelios and K'Sante piled in behind them, though they looked less like the angry pitchfork villagers that entered before them.

"Why does (Y/N) get to skip out on chores?!" Kayn shouted, pushing past the big hunk of rock that Sett was.

Maybe his red eye couldn't see, for he didn't notice you sitting right next to Yone with the matching duck pajama bottoms on your lap.

"Yeah, man, that's like, totally unfair!" Sett exclaimed, pushing Kayn out of the way so they could share the limelight.

Ezreal pushed under the taller boys' arms, standing in front of them with his arms crossed. "Not to mention, incredibly biased!"

"There was nothing else to do around the house." Yone came up with the excuse quickly, going back to folding the clothes nonchalantly. There were actually plenty of other shores around the house, but he wasn't about to mention them.

The other boys, however, were perfectly capable of doing so. "Like cleaning the bathrooms!"

"Watering the plants."

"Helping me dry the dishes!"

Yone deadpanned, staring at all of them with his signature disappointment, until his eyes settled on K'Sante. "They have a point." He says, and Yone couldn't deny it.

Except, he could.

"He broke his leg this morning." Yone straight lies, looking back down at the clothing and remaining stoic.

"What?" Everyone–capable of saying–says, even you!

Sett peered over the stacks of clothing covering the view over your legs, just to check. "No he didn't!" The big man says, an insufferable whine to his voice.

You clear your throat, ceasing your hands' movement. Yone shuffles a bit closer to you, as if to shield you from the boys. "Sure he did. He's good at hiding pain."

"Yone." Ezreal placed his hands on his hips.

The producer didn't grace him with a reply, simply focusing on the clothing.

Kayn grumbled, "Now you're lying for him?"

"I did no such thing." He places the duck pajama shirt roughly over Ezreal's pile, accidentally causing a wrinkle, but he hardly cares.

"Listen here–" Kayn's voice is deep and annoyed. He lunges, but K'Sante holds his back, and hovers him just over the floor. Air jail.

"(Y/N) is our wonderful assistant, not your mom." Yone says, to which you laugh, turning Sett's face sour. "He's not here to do everything for you."

"Why do we even have to dust the place every week?" Ezreal says exasperatedly. Running a hand through his hair, he still manages to look well-kept. "I'm pretty sure dust doesn't build up that fast."

"(Y/N)'s allergic."

You didn't put that in your resume. So he found out on his own? That's...endearing. You scoot forward, back to Yone's side. "You guys aren't seriously hoping to subject me to suffering just because you have to suffer too, right?"

Now that you'd put it that way, yeah, that sounded pretty mean. K'Sante puts Kayn down, and the rapper stays in place obediently. Sett huffs and crosses his arms, but he seems convinced, and Ezreal's lips press into a line.

"I mean, when you say it like that..." The pretty boy says, looking down shamefully.

The more sensible K'Sante knows it remains unfair, and that he'll have to talk to Yone about it later, but he's just happy the conflict is resolved; whilst the indifferent Aphelios's smile fades, his entertainment was over.

"Besides, I'm helping now, aren't I?" You finish folding Ezreal's duck pajama pants and place them on the pile just to show off.

"Yeah, you're right." Sett sighs, slumping forward dejectedly.

For a moment, the boys stand awkwardly until Aphelios realizes they all are intruding upon Yone's private space and your alone time. He turns and leaves, prodding Yone to speak up. "Run along now."

The boys all leave, Kayn more angrily as Yone's words are definitely triumphant, and K'Sante closes the door behind them.

Silence. Comfortable, peaceful, and belated silence.

The two of you turn back to folding the clothing.

"For the record, I know why you didn't put me on the list." Yone thinks you're about to tease him for it, but you don't, and for that he is grateful.

The second place producer, first place lover, leans his head against yours, then turns it to give you a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

From the next week onwards, the first chore is always sitting next to two names:

Y/N & Yone -

[anonymous-dee]

The MC Who Cried Wolf

Summary: Glancing at your DDD, eyes fleeting between the newest messages and the demon before you, you couldn’t believe that no one was taking you seriously.

Considering the prank you had pulled merely a week or so ago, it wasn’t surprising. But if you had known the situation you were going to get yourself into at the time, you would never have pulled a prank like that.

Because now you were really in danger.

Notes: Hi guys! This fic alternates between the chatroom and prose, so there's a good amount of both! I promise the entire fic is not in shorthand!

ALSO! IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS FIRST AND DON'T CONTINUE IF YOU ARE UNCOMFY WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED VIBES!!!

Trigger Warnings: BLOOD, VIOLENCE, K*DNAPPING, SUS DEMON, ANGST W/ HAPPY ENDING, PANIC ATTACK, MC GETS HURT, GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS

~In the group chat~

Everyone is online.

(Y/N): Hey guys...

Mammon: Oi, human! Where have ya been? 

Satan: I do believe they went shopping earlier this morning. 

Asmo: Shopping? Without me? (Y/N)! You promised to take me with you next time!

Satan: Maybe it would be more productive of you to spend your allowance on something productive , like a book. 

Asmo: You act like I didn’t see you spending 1000 Grimm on cat supplies the other day! We don’t even own any cats!

Beel: Satan has a cat? Can I have a dog? 

Lucifer: Satan, are you hiding another stray cat from me again? If I find out that you’ve been keeping this a secret from me, there will be serious repercussions

Levi: Keep your cat away from Henry!!! 

Mammon: Oi, the human’s been real quiet don’t you think? (Y/N), wake up! 

Asmo: They did say they were shopping (without me). They’re probably not looking at their phone. 

Beel: I hope they’re buying some food. I’m getting hungry...

(Y/N): There’s someone coming closer

Levi: Lmaaao another lyric prank? We’re not gonna fall for that again lol. 

Satan: Did you not learn your lesson last time? Please don’t joke around like that again. 

Asmo: Sweetie, just hurry up and come home! I wanna see what you bought! 

Belphie: If you’re going to pull a prank, let’s do it on Lucifer instead. Not on the rest of us. 

Beel: Belphie, you’re awake?

Lucifer: Belphie. 

Satan: I agree with that one, Belphie. (Y/N), when are you planning on coming home? 

Mammon: Why do humans walk so frickin’ slow? It’s gonna take them forever to come back, so one of us should go pick them up from the store!

Lucifer: Why isn’t anyone with them? Did I not specify that they were to have an escort on them at all times? 

Levi: Don’t look at me! I didn’t even know they were going out! 

Asmo: I would have gone if (Y/N) invited me! 

Lucifer: Whatever. (Y/N), send me your location and I will head that way. Apparently all of my brothers are idiots. 

Asmo: So mean!

Mammon: I’m not an idiot! 

Lucifer: Silence. (Y/N), which store are you in?

.

.

.

Lucifer: (Y/N)? 

Levi: (Y/N) totally got weirded out from Lucifer’s scary energy rofl lmao 

Satan: It’s not hard to see how. Lucifer doesn’t know how to control himself when it comes to his temper. 

Beel: Is Lucifer angry?

Asmo: You’re one to talk, Satan! That’s why (Y/N) needs to spend more time with me instead of you OR Lucifer! Besides, who doesn’t want to spend time with the most handsome demon in all of the Devildom~?

Belphie: (Y/N), ignore Lucifer okay? If you send me your location I’ll have Beel come and get you. 

Beel: I’ll be happy to come pick you up, (Y/N). :)

Satan: Belphie, why are you offering for Beel to go get them? Why can’t you go yourself?

Belphie: sleepyzzzzzzzz...

Beel: Belphie nodded off to sleep again

(Y/N): He’s following me

Beel: (Y/N), we know it’s a prank. Hurry and cut it out before Lucifer gets mad again. 

Mammon: Beel is right! Just admit it’s a prank before Lucifer punishes ya again! I don’t even wanna think about what happened last time...

Asmo: I’ll take your place, (Y/N)! I’ll take all of Lucifer’s punishments~

Lucifer: Asmo, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind me taking all of your skincare products for the rest of the week? 

Asmo: NEVERMIND! (Y/N) COME ON AND HURRY BACK HOME!

Lucifer: In all seriousness, (Y/N). Stop this nonsense at once. You can either return home or one of us will come and get you. 

(Y/N): I’m scared

Mammon: He’s not gonna do anything if ya come home right now! You’ll get to luck out on another punishment!

Beel: You have nothing to be afraid of, right? Lucifer won’t punish you if you’re coming home now. 

Levi: Just came back from grinding in Doki Doki Magical Girl Heart Cafe Dating Simulator 2... (Y/N) isn’t heading back yet? Oi, (Y/N)! You said you would be back before dinner so we could play in multiplayer mode!!! 

Satan: Again with the long titles... 

Levi: It’s a really good game, Satan! You normies wouldn’t understand the logistics of running a tycoon based game with an influx of regular NPC’s who have a plethora of different requests and--

Satan: We get it, Levi. 

Mammon: Does that game involve making money? 

Levi: Of course he shows up when the topic turns to money. YOU STILL OWE ME MY MONEY, YOU SCUMBAG!!!

Mammon: I don’t have the money right now! I can’t give you what I don’t have!

Levi: YOU PROBABLY WASTED IT ALL GAMBLING AT THE CASINO!!!

Mammon: It wasn’t a waste! I was about to hit the jackpot!! 

Levi: SURE YOU WERE, FRICKIN’ NORMIE. WORST OF THE WORST. ABSOLUTE TRASH. 

Beel: Don’t mind them, (Y/N). I’ll make sure no one is arguing when you get back. Is that why you’re avoiding the chat?

Beel: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): I’m onfdskhg

Lucifer: ?

Levi: ghdlgjfdsln 

Mammon: Sksksksskksks? Cha-ching? Money making machine? 

Belphie: Stop spamming the chat with gibberish. 

Satan: (Y/N), did your hand slip or something? 

Levi: I thought they might respond again if I keyboard smashed, but I guess I was wrong RIP

Asmo: (Y/N) Dearest, where has my darling (Y/N) gone? 

Mammon: Your darling? I was THEIR FIRST , ya know! Have some respect!

Satan: I checked their location status, but it was turned off. 

Beel: (Y/N), I think you’re taking this prank too far. Lucifer is already getting upset. 

Levi: They turned it off? Sounds like something they would do for the sake of a prank. Can we get an F in the chat for (Y/N)’s soul when they get back from this lololol?

Belphie: F

Beel: What does F mean?

Levi: Sigh, normies will never understand. 

Lucifer: (Y/N), why did you turn off your location services? Lord Diavolo told you to never turn it off, remember? Are you going against his word? 

Belphie: It’s always about Lord Diavolo, isn’t it? 

Lucifer: Belphegor, hush. (Y/N), you understand why we keep it on, right? It’s for your safety. Turn it back on so we can see where you are. 

Satan: I mean, if I found out that Lucifer was stalking my location 24/7 I would turn it off in a heartbeat. Just saying. 

Asmo: (Y/N)~! Just tell us where you ran off to~! I promise Luci-chan won’t be mad at you!

Lucifer: Don’t make promises for me. And don’t call me that. 

Outside of the chat, you were on the verge of giving up your cry for help. You wanted to be subtle about it; sending short, quick messages was the easiest way to NOT draw the creep’s attention. 

You had resorted to sending quick messages with one hand, the other latched firmly on the buttons trailing down from your shirt collar. Your eyes peered at the demon before you as you took a few steps back. 

“Why don’t we talk outside?” asked the demon. “This clothes shop must be boring for a little human like yourself. I can treat you to much better than this ol’ thrift store.” As he spoke, he waved a clawed hand over his head, gesturing to the little clothing store you had stepped inside. 

You were farther from the House of Lamentation than you felt comfortable with. It was on the far side of the downtown area. 

I knew I shouldn’t have come here alone, but sometimes I want to shop by myself! You thought, your back thumping against a rack of clothes. 

Glancing at your phone, eyes fleeting between the newest messages and the demon before you, you couldn’t believe that no one was taking you seriously. 

Considering the prank you had pulled merely a week or so ago, it wasn’t surprising. But if you had known the situation you were going to get yourself into at the time, you would never have pulled a prank like that. 

���No thank you." (Y/N) couldn’t back up any further. “I’m actually about to head back home.” 

“Where do you live? Surely an attractive human like yourself doesn’t live around these parts. It’s dangerous around here for a frail human.” As the demon said this, he licked his lips and eyed you up and down. 

You didn’t know what to say. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and anxiety was making your legs shake. 

Wait! My pact! 

“Hear me, denizens of the darkness, you who are born of shadow and--” Before you could finish the spell, (apparently the demon realized what you were up to), the demon quickly grabbed your wrist and yanked you forward. 

“Not another word! Now let’s go!” In the process, you dropped your phone.

You lamented over the abandoned DDD as the demon began to pull you away. Apparently the demon noticed this, and chose to turn around. He didn’t loosen his grasp on your wrist as he pocketed the device and hurried out of the thrift shop with you in tow. 

~In the group chat~

Beel: I’m hungry. Who’s turn is it to cook again? 

Satan: It was (Y/N)’s turn, but it’s already starting to get late. Are they not home yet? 

Beel: Nobody was in the kitchen when I went there to get a snack. 

Asmo: Eating a snack right before dinner isn’t healthy! Anyways, (Y/N)’s probably on their way back! When I come back from shopping, my arms are always full of bags so I can never text!

Levi: Typical Asmo. (Y/N), can you hurry up and come home? We already missed the multiplayer event on Doki Doki Magical Girl Heart Cafe Dating Simulator 2, but we can still make the final episode premiere of My girlfriend was turned into a witch but now she doesn’t know how to control her powers and I think she started the apocalypse so now I have to fix it! season 2. 

Satan: I don’t even want to know.

Mammon: I don’t understand what Levi said at all!

Levi: You all suck!

Lucifer: I called (Y/N), but they didn’t answer. Has anyone heard from them since they tried to prank us earlier? 

Beel: I haven’t heard anything. 

Belphie: I dozed off but haven’t gotten any messages from them. 

Asmo: Like I said, they’re probably carrying a bunch of stuff!

Lucifer: I would hope not. They forgot their wallet at home. 

Levi: ?!

Asmo: ?!

Satan: ?!

Mammon: >:)

Lucifer: Mammon. 

Mammon: JUST KIDDING!

Beel: I’m starting to get worried. Why won’t they answer their calls? 

Belphie: Maybe their phone is dead and they got lost?

Mammon: Wouldn’t they use one of their pacts? 

Levi: Hold up, Mammon actually has a point for once. If they were lost, they would definitely summon one of us to take them back home. 

Lucifer: I will go out to the shopping area and search for them. Maybe they panicked and forgot about our pacts. 

Levi: It’s unlikely they forgot, it’s drilled into their head almost everyday at RAD lmao. 

Satan: Our pacts are really important to them. They wouldn’t just forget about them. Maybe they would forget about YOURS, Lucifer. But definitely not MINE. 

Lucifer: I will ignore your remark for the time being until I get back, Satan. I will keep the chat updated if I find them. 

Outside of the chat...

The nameless demon brought you to his home, which looked more like a sewer than a house, but nevertheless... 

You tried summoning your pacts several times, to which the demon finally got fed up and tied a cloth around your mouth to prevent you from speaking. 

With your mouth, hands, and ankles tied, you could do nothing but sit on the floor (and occasionally wriggle to try and escape your restraints). 

Apparently, this demon was very talented in tying ropes and the like, so it didn’t seem like you would be getting out any time soon. 

The brothers don’t know where I am... Will they ever find me? Will he keep me trapped here until I die? You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the worst possible scenario. Usually one of the brothers was with you to prevent a situation like this from happening in the first place. 

I’M SO STUPID! I should have invited Asmo or Mammon to come along with me...’ Tears welled up in your eyes, and without any way to wipe them, they strolled down your cheeks. 

The demon seemed to appreciate the horrific gesture. 

“Those tears of yours look tasty.” Yanking you up by the collar, the demon licked the stream of tears protruding from your eyes before tossing you back to the ground. “I want to make you cry for me even more.” 

Your stomach sank, and a cold chill shivered down your spine. 

The demon grinned and kicked you in the ribs with a terrifying speed. One kick. Two kicks. Three. Four. 

As each blow knocked the wind out of you, you couldn’t help but whimper from the pain. You also knew that would probably lead him on further, but how could you help it? After the demon’s assault had seemingly finished, he decided to take a break for the time being. 

“You really wear me out, human!” Grinning from ear to ear, he ruffled the top of your head as if he didn’t just land several blows to your midsection. 

His soft grip, however, soon turned into a tight yank, and you were dragged across the floor by your hair towards the other end of the room. The demon stomped on a particular switch, from which an underground passage emerged from two of the floor panels. 

“Aight, I’ll be back later. Have fun, okay?” Without warning, the demon let go of your hair, allowing you to tumble down the concrete staircase with no way for you to brace yourself. 

Against the cold concrete floor, you ached in pain from the concussion you had most likely endured, among other injuries from your tumble. 

~~~

Several hours into the night, the House of Lamentation had heard nothing back from their beloved human. 

Lord Diavolo had already been made aware of the issue as soon as it began to get dark, and currently had three search parties deployed. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll have them back safe and sound,” Diavolo had said, although now those words sounded like false hope. 

“This better not be a joke.” Of course, Lucifer was locked up in his room, hands clenched under his chin as he rested his elbows on the coffee table. He was deep in thought, wondering where you could have run off to. 

However, a quick series of knocks tore him from his train of thought, and he stepped over towards the door to see who was asking for him at this hour. He rolled his eyes as he opened the door and found Mammon on the other side. 

“You will not be using this chaos to get ahold of my credit card.” 

However, when Mammon said nothing, Lucifer took a closer look at his younger brother.  It appeared as though the second born hadn’t registered a single word Lucifer had said. 

Mammon’s chest heaved up and down, his hands barely gripping onto his DDD. 

“L-Lucif..Lu...er.” Through jagged, shaking breaths, Mammon looked up into Lucifer’s eyes with a wide, scared expression. It had been a very, very long time since Mammon had come to Lucifer looking this disheveled. 

“Mammon?” Lucifer pulled Mammon into his room and shut the door behind him. “What has gotten into you?” His tone came out more worried than he had intended. 

“Luc...Luci..” Unable to control his breathing, Mammon choked on air, and a crackled sob forced its way out of his mouth along with several tears. 

He shook his head, as if trying to erase something from his memory. 

Lucifer was almost unsure of what to do. He was not the best demon at comforting people... Why didn’t he go to someone like Asmo? Or Beel? 

“Tell me what happened,” said Lucifer. 

“I- It,” sniffle, “I, I s-saw them,” involuntary sob, “th-they, Lucif... you, and...” as Mammon’s words flowed together with the sounds of his panic attack, Lucifer realized that he was not going to get an answer this way. 

“You saw them? Who? (Y/N)?” Lucifer shook Mammon’s shoulders, as if doing so would snap him out of it. 

“I cou-couldn’t! T-They!” Mammon broke down into tears again, and if Lucifer hadn’t been gripping his shoulders he would have crumpled to the floor.  

Lucifer felt all of Mammon’s weight begin to fall into his grasp, and he lowered him down to the floor. 

“Mammon. I need you to look at me,” Lucifer’s voice was unusually soft, as he only ever used this tone of voice with you. 

Mammon looked up at him, DDD momentarily forgotten next to him on the floor. 

“Whatever has happened, I will take care of it. Do you understand? You are not in trouble.” A rare statement indeed from the Avatar of Pride, but right now he needed information. And he needed Mammon to stop panicking. 

Mammon clenched his eyes shut, gripping onto Lucifer’s shirt and burying his face into his brother’s chest. His own chest still heaved up and down, as he was unable to control the breaths that forced their way in and out of his lungs. 

With a shaky hand, Mammon grabbed the DDD from the floor and slapped it into Lucifer’s palm. 

“Your DDD? What about it? I don’t understand.” Lucifer pushed Mammon back and stared into his reddening and swollen eyes, as if they had the answers to why Mammon was acting like this. 

“I-I was... I was sleepin’, and...” Through ragged breaths, Mammon tried his best to explain what had happened, “...and a-and... a call, and (Y/N), and they were there! AND SOMEONE ELSE WAS THERE, AND I COULDN’T SEE THEM AND THEY CALLED FOR ME AND I-” He broke down again into Lucifer’s arms. 

“(Y/N)? You talked to (Y/N)?” 

“Somethin’ happened... somethin’ bad... t-they were bleedin’ and they couldn’t call for us...” Mammon mumbled, the mere frustration of the situation overwhelming his very soul. 

Lucifer said nothing as Mammon’s story began to process in his head. 

“They... They were there... and these demons were hurting them...” he continued. “They laughed at us.” 

Looking up at Lucifer like a small child separated from his mother at a grocery store, Mammon cried, “Please, help them.” 

Lucifer glanced down at Mammon’s DDD. When he unlocked the screen, the first image that appeared before him was a screenshot of a recent DevilTime video call. 

As he peered at the image before him, Lucifer felt as though someone had stabbed him directly in the chest. 

You were in the image, your face badly beaten and bruised. Your eyes were swollen (most likely from crying) and there was a demon holding you up by your hair. 

The demon’s face was partially cut out of the picture, but still within the frame. 

~In the group chat~

Lucifer: We fucked up. 

Levi: Huh? What do you mean? 

Satan: Did you hear back from (Y/N) yet? What do you mean we fucked up? 

Belphie: Beel just woke me up... Did (Y/N) come back? 

Lucifer: Levi, I am going to send you an image, and I want you to find the location where it was recorded. 

Levi: ? 

Levi: Oh, I just got something. Lemme check... 

Beel: An image? 

Satan: I’m guessing someone saw them? That’s a relief. 

Levi: Lucifer, this... 

Lucifer: I know. Please, Leviathan. 

Belphie: Since when does Lucifer say ‘please’? 

Levi: It will take some time for me to pull up the coordinates. 

Mammon: Levi, 

Mammon: Hurry. Please. 

Levi: typingwithonehand, i’mgoingasfastasican!

Belphie: Don’t tell me (Y/N) is in danger...

Satan: Mammon, is that true? 

Mammon: ...

Satan: MAMMON, TELL ME. 

Mammon: We fucked up. 

Satan: WHERE ARE THEY? LEVI, DID YOU FIND THEM YET? HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO DAMN STUPID?

Belphie: Someone is going to die tonight. 

Beel: We should have listened to them, even though we thought it was a prank...

Levi: *coordinates sent* I have the coordinates. I can assume we’re all going to go? 

Belphie: Fuck yes. I’m going to tear the limbs off of the demon who took our precious human. 

Satan: I’ll torture them slowly and painfully. 

Asmo: We found (Y/N)? I’m coming! This is slightly more important than my beauty sleep!

Beel: I’m already waiting in the foyer. 

Lucifer: Mammon, will you be joining us as well? 

Mammon: ... Ye. The Great Mammon has to teach these guys a valuable lesson. 

Outside of the chat...

You groaned as the evil demon dug his claw into your side, tearing a sharp bloody line across your flesh. 

“I’m starting to get a bit hungry, ya know? These small dollops of human blood aren't’ doing it for me anymore.” The demon licked the blood that was dripping down your waist. “I’m so tempted to just take a bite!” 

Licking his lips, the demon added: “Human blood is the best! It’s so damn sweet!” 

At this point, the fear that you felt had started to make your senses go numb. Of course, every attack was excruciatingly painful, but it was as if the max amount of terror had been met long ago. 

That’s it... Nobody is going to come for me... I’m going to die here. You thought, submitting yourself to another set of fresh tears. Considering how dehydrated you were, you were surprised you could shed them at all. At least I got to see Mammon before I die... I must have spooked him, though... 

“Who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” The sound of various familiar voices jostled you from your thoughts of death, and you opened your eyes to find your seven saviors standing before you. 

Mammon tackled you in the biggest hug he had ever given anyone. 

“(Y/N)...” He sobbed into your shoulder, forgetting to remove the restraints beforehand. “(Y/N), you’re okay.” 

You chuckled softly. The hug pushed up against your various cuts and bruises, but you were thankful nonetheless. You nodded weakly, your body gaining a growing sense of heaviness as the seconds marched forward. 

“Take their restraints off first, idiot!” Asmo’s voice wailed from behind them. 

The Avatar of Lust gently removed the magic ties from your mouth, wrists, and ankles. 

“Oh dear, your beautiful skin...” Asmo ran a finger across some of the exposed bruises lining your arm. “I’m so sorry...” 

The sounds of torture echoing through the room made your skin crawl, and goosebumps formed on the back of your neck. Satan, Belphie, and Lucifer had surprisingly teamed up to take on the kidnapper. 

Of course, the trio were three of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. There was no issue in terms of strength, but as for how long they could keep him alive before they could force him to endure a slow and painful death, that was another story... 

“Here...” Beel sat next to you, a bottle of water in hand. “Drink some. It has electrolytes so your strength can come back.” 

Pressing the tip of the bottle against your lips, he looked a little relieved when you began to drink the liquid. 

“Ah... thank you Beel.” Your voice was so fragile and quiet that Beel wanted to cry. How long had you been screaming for your voice to end up like this? 

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. We didn’t know...” 

You shook your head slightly, the mere action making you dizzy (probably from the concussion). 

Levi was awkwardly standing off to the side, unsure of what to say. He too had been a part of the masses; he too had failed you. Would you even consider him a friend after this? It would make sense. 

Finally, the screams of torture were put to a halt as the kidnapper demon passed out. 

“We aren’t done with him yet,” Belphie said, “but for now, we’ll leave him tied up here so Barbatos can teleport him to the torture chambers.” 

The rest of the brothers accepted this without question. 

Lucifer, having gotten most if not all of the anger out of his system, felt hollow. Slowly stepping over to you, he bent down to one knee. One of his gloved hands tilted your chin upwards so that the two of you were able to lock eyes. 

He noticed the bruises. The scratches. The injuries. The blood seeping from your shirt on your right side. 

“I’m truly and deeply sorry.” Lucifer looked down, as if bowing down to you. “I will not ask for your forgiveness. We have failed you.” 

You shook your head, a rough set of coughs erupting from your core and sending the vertigo back into motion. 

“Thank you... for rescuing me...” Your words were as fragile as a thin piece of glass, and it shattered Lucifer’s heart. 

“You’re safe now, (Y/N). I promise.” 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Brinklump Linkdump

Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables on Jan 22 at 8PM.

Life comes at you fast, links come at you faster. Once again, I've arrived at Saturday with a giant backlog of links I didn't fit in this week, so it's time for a linkdump, the 14th in the series:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

It's the Year of Our Gourd twenty and twenty-four and holy shit, is rampant corporate power rampant. On January 1, the inbred droolers of Big Pharma shat out their annual price increases, as cataloged in 46Brooklyn's latest Brand Drug List Price Change Box Score:

https://www.46brooklyn.com/branddrug-boxscore

Here's the deal: drugs that have already been developed, brought to market, and paid off are now getting more expensive. Why? Because the pharma companies have "pricing power," the most reliable indicator of monopoly. Ed Cara rounds up the highlights for Gizmodo:

https://gizmodo.com/ozempic-wegovy-wellbutrin-oxycontin-drug-price-increase-1851179427

What's going up? Well, Ozempic and other GLP-1 agonists. These drugs have made untold billions for their manufacturers, so naturally, they're raising the price. That's how markets work, right? When firms increase the volume of a product, the price goes up? Right? Other drugs that are going up include Wellbutrin (an antidepressant that's also widely used in smoking cessation) and the blood thinner Plavix. I mean, why the hell not? These companies get billions in research subsidies, invaluable government patent privileges, and near-total freedom to abuse the patent system with evergreening:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/23/everorangeing/#taste-the-rainbow

The most amazing things about monopolies is how the contempt just oozes out of them. It's like these guys can't even pretend to give a shit. You want guillotines? Because that's how you get guillotines.

Take Apple. They just got their asses handed to them in court by Epic, who successfully argued that Apple's rule requiring everyone who sells through the App Store to use Apple's payment processor and pay Apple 30% out of every dollar they bring in was an antitrust violation. Epic won, then won the appeal, then SCOTUS told Apple they wouldn't hear the case, so that's that.

Right? Wrong. Apple's pulled a malicious compliance stunt that could shame the surly drunks my great-aunt Lisa used to boss in the Soviet electrical engineering firm she ran. Apple has announced that app companies that process transactions using their own payment processors on the web must still pay Apple a 27% fee for every dollar their process:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/apples-app-store-rule-changes-draw-sharp-rebuke-from-critics-150047160.html

In addition, Apple will throw a terrifying FUD-screen up every time a user clicks a payment link that goes to the web:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2024/01/second-verse-same-as-the-first/

This is obviously not what the court had in mind, and there's no way this will survive the next court challenge. It's just Apple making sure that everyone knows it hates us all and wants us to die. Thanks, Tim Apple, and right back atcha.

Not to be outdone in the monopolistic mustache-twirling department, Ubisoft just announced that it is going to shut down its driving simulator game The Crew, which it sold to users with a "perpetual license":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIqyvquTEVU

This is some real Darth Vader MBA shit. "Yeah, we sold you a 'perpetual license' to this game, but we're terminating it. I have altered the deal. Pray I don't alter it further":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

Ubisoft sure are innovators. They've managed the seemingly impossible feat of hybridizing Darth Vader and Immortan Joe. Ubisoft's head of subscriptions, the guillotine-ready Philippe Tremblay, told GamesIndustry.biz that gamers need to get "comfortable" with "not owning their games":

https://www.gamesindustry.biz/the-new-ubisoft-and-getting-gamers-comfortable-with-not-owning-their-games

Or, as Immortan Joe put it: "Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!"

Capitalism without constraint is enshittification's handmaiden, and the latest victim is Ello, the "indie" social media startup that literally promised – on the sacred honor of its founders – that it would never sell out its users. When Ello took VC and Andy Baio questioned how this could be squared with this promise, the founders mocked him and others for raising the question. Their response boiled down to "we are super-chill dudes and you can totally trust us."

They raised more capital, and used that to create a nice place for independent artists, who piled into the platform and provided millions of unpaid hours of creative labor to help the founders increase its value. The founders and their investors turned the company into a Public Benefit Corporation, which meant they had an obligation to serve the public benefit.

But then they took more investment money and simply (and silently) sold their assets to a for-profit. Struggling to raise capital, the founders opted to secretly sell the business to a sleazy branding company called Talenthouse. Its users didn't know about the change, though the site sure had a lot of Talenthouse design competitions all of a sudden.

Finally, the company announced the change as the last founders left. Rather than announcing that the new owners were untrustworthy scum, warning their users to get their data and get out, the founders posted oblique, ominous statements to Instagram. The company started stiffing the winners of those design competitions. Then, one day, poof, Ello disappeared, taking all its users' data with it. Poof:

https://waxy.org/2024/01/the-quiet-death-of-ellos-big-dreams/

I'm sure the founders' decisions each seemed reasonable at the moment. That's every terrible situation arises: you rationalize that a single compromise isn't that big of a deal, and then you do the same for the next compromise, and the next, and the next. Pretty soon, you're betraying everyone who believed in you.

One answer to this is "Ulysses pacts": making binding commitments to do right before you are tempted. Throw away all your Oreos when you go on a diet and you can't be tempted to eat a whole sleeve of them at 2AM. License your software under the GPL and your investors can't force you to make it proprietary. Set up a warrant canary and the feds can't force you to keep their spying secret:

https://locusmag.com/2021/01/cory-doctorow-neofeudalism-and-the-digital-manor/

If the founders were determined to build a trustworthy, open, independent company, they could have published their quarterly books, livestreamed their staff meetings, built data-export tools that emailed users every week with a link to download everything they'd posted since the last week. Merely halting any of these practices would have been a signal that things were wrong. Anyone who says they won't be tempted in the moment to make a "reasonable" compromise in the hopes of recovering whatever they're trading away by living to fight another day is bullshitting you, and possibly themself.

The inability to project the consequences of your bad decisions in the future is the source of endless mischief and heartbreak. Take movie projectors. A couple decades ago, the studio cartel established a standard for digital movie distribution to cinematic exhibitors called the Digital Cinema Initiative. Because studio executives are more worried about stopping piracy than they are about making sure that people who pay for movies get to see them, they build digital rights management into this standard.

Movie theaters had to spend fortunes to upgrade to "secure" projectors. A single vendor, Deluxe Technicolor, monopolized the packaging of movies into "Digital Cinema Prints" for distribution to these projectors, and they used all kinds of dirty tricks to force distributors to use their services, like arbitrarily flunking third-party DCPs over picky shit like not starting and ending on a black frame.

Over time, the ability to use unencrypted files was stripped away, meaning every DCP needed to be encrypted, and every projector needed to have up-to-date decryption keys. This system broke down on Jan 1, 2024, and cinemas all over the world found they couldn't play Wonka. Many just shut down for the day and refunded their customers:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/1/1/24021915/alamo-drafthouse-outage-sony-projector

The problem? Something that every PKI system has to wrangle: an expired certificate from Deluxe Technicolor. The failure has been dubbed the Y2K24 debacle by projectionists and film-techs, who are furious:

http://www.film-tech.com/vbb/forum/main-forum/34652-the-y2k24-bug-major-digital-outage-today

Making everything worse is that Sony mothballed the division that maintains its projectors, so there's no one who can update them to accommodate Technicolor's workaround. Struggling mom-and-pop theaters are having to junk their systems and replace them. There's plenty of blame to go around, but Sony is definitely the most negligent link in the chain. Shame on them.

Big corporations LARP this performance of competence and seriousness, but they are deeply unserious. This week, I wrote, "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

Score one for team deeply unserious. The multinational delivery company DPD fired its support staff and replaced them with a chatbot. The chatbot can't tell you where your parcels are, but it can be prompt-injected into coming up with profane poems about how badly DPD sucks:

https://twitter.com/ashbeauchamp/status/1748034519104450874

There once was a chatbot named DPD, Who was useless at providing help. It could not track parcels, Or give information on delivery dates, And it could not even tell you when your driver would arrive.

DPD was a waste of time, And a customer's worst nightmare. It was so bad, That people would rather call the depot directly, Than deal with the useless chatbot.

One day, DPD was finally shut down, And everyone rejoiced. Finally, they could get the help they needed, From a real person who knew what they were doing.

This is…the opposite of an AI hallucination? It's AI clarity.

As with all botshit, this kind of AI self-negging is funny and fresh the first time you see it, but just wait until 3,000 people have published their own versions to your social feed. AI novelty regresses to the mean damn quickly.

The old, good web, by contrast, was full of enduring surprises, as the world's weirdest and most delightful mutants filled the early web with every possible variation on every possible interest, expression, argument, and gag. Now, you can search the old, good web with Old'aVista, an Altavista lookalike that searches old pages from "personal websites that used to be hosted on services like Geocities, Angelfire, AOL, Xoom and so on," all ganked from the Internet Archive:

http://oldavista.com/

I miss the old, good internet and the way it let weirdos find each other and get seriously weird with one another. Think of steampunk, a subculture that wove together artists, makers, costumers, fiction writers, and tinkerers in endlessly creative ways. My old pal Roger Wood was the world's most improbable steampunk: he was a gay ex-navy gunner who grew up in a small town in the maritimes but moved to Toronto where he became the world's most accomplished steampunk clockmaker.

I was Roger's neighbour for a decade. He died last year, and I miss him all the time. I was in Toronto in December and saw a few of his last pieces being sold in galleries and I was just skewered on the knowledge that I'd never see him again, never visit his workshop:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/16/klockwerks/#craphound

A reader just sent this five-year-old mini documentary about Roger, shot in his wonderful workshop. Watching it made me happy and sad and then happy again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqMGomM8yF8

The old, good internet was so great. It was a place where every kind of passion could live. It was a real testament to the power of geeking out together, no matter how often the suits demand that we "stop talking to each other and start buying things":

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/stop-talking-to-each-other-and-start

The world is full of people with weird passions and I love them all, mostly. Learning about Don Bolles's collection of decades' worth of lost pet posters was a moment of pure joy (I just wish more of it was online):

https://ameliatait.substack.com/p/the-man-who-collects-lost-pet-posters

That's the future I was promised: one where every kind of freak can find every other kind of freak. Despite the nipple-deep botshit we wade through online, and the relentless cheapening of words like "innovation" and "future," there are still occasional gleams of the future I want to live in.

Like the researchers who spliced a photosynthesis gene into brewer's yeast (a fungus) and got it to photosynthesize, and to display enhanced fitness:

https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(23)01744-X

As Doug Muir writes on Crooked Timber, this is pretty kooky! Fungi – the coolest of the kingdoms! – can't photosynthesize. The idea that you can just add the photosynthesis gene to a thing that can't photosynthesize and have it just kind of work is wild!

https://crookedtimber.org/2024/01/19/occasional-paper-purple-sun-yeast/

As Muir writes: "Animals have no evolutionary history of photosynthesis and aren’t designed for it, but the same is true for yeast. So… no reason this shouldn’t be possible. A photosynthesizing cat? Sure, why not."

Why not indeed?!

OK, that's this week's linkdump done and dusted. It only remains for me to share the news with you that the trolley problem has been finally and comprehensively solved, by Sidereal@kolektiva.social, of the IWW IU 520 (railroad workers):

Slip the switch by flipping it while the trolley's front wheels have passed through, but before the back wheels do. This will cause a controlled derailment bringing the trolley to a safe halt.

https://kolektiva.social/@sidereal/111779015415697244

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/20/melange/#i-have-heard-the-mermaids-singing

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I don't know your rules for HC requests but could you do like- the more "I need to look nice" characters having a s/o with really nice long hair who suddenly buzzes it without warning? No real reason just impulse "It'll grow back so why not?"

Sure! I went with Ran, Mitsuya, Emma, Rindou, Sanzu and Hakkai for this one!

Ran- He is so dramatic about it, just a silly little guy mourning your hair. He acts like someone has just died, while you just stare at him like 🤨. Eventually he calms down a bit, turns to you, realises how good you look and does a complete 180. Starts complimenting you like crazy instead and admiring your hair.

Mitsuya- Was a bit busy with work when you did it, his mind was so occupied that he didn't even notice it was you at first and walked straight past. After you softly call his name, his head whips around and he immediately comes back to you, pulling you into a sweeping hug. He loves it, like he loves everything else about you.

Emma- She smiles when she first sees it but does ask a bunch of questions about it. She's just fully aware of how sometimes people change hair styles when going through things and wants to make sure you're ok. Once she finds out the reason, she's totally happy for you though! Then wants to take a bunch of pictures with you and go out to celebrate your new look!

Rindou- He's a little blunt but immediately asks if you like it, to him it matters more that you're happy with it then him. After you say yes then he nods, saying that he likes it too. He's a tiny bit disappointed that he didn't get to help you with it but still appreciates the nice surprise.

Sanzu- Stares a lot at first with an expression you can't quite read. Eventually he compliments it but you catch him staring all throughout the day (he's actually just admiring your new look). Goes out at one point and comes back with some different hair care stuff for you, saying you'll likely need different products now.

Hakkai- "you look like an angel" he didn't mean to mutter out the compliment straight away, but he was just so caught off guard. Blushes after, but slowly gives you more compliments all throughout the day.

[unorthodoxfaithxx]

Shen Smut Fic from Undead Unluck

Nsfw; AFAB ; slight yandere

“I’m usually one to play the role of a gentleman, but I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough, no?”

In which Shen finally has enough of your worrywart antics and decides to put matters into his own hands.

———————

It was supposed to be a regular quest - capture the UMA, be rewarded with a Negator’s location, find the Negator, and be done with it. 

So why were you deserted in Japan, in a LOVE HOTEL of all places, stuck with the most unintentionally insufferable man on the planet? 

“Jeez,” you sigh, face-palming your forehead, “I can’t believe Andy and Fuuko left without us! And what for? The newest copy of Shonen Jump?!” 

You hear a laugh from behind. Shen was sitting cross legged on the gaudy heart-shaped mattress provided with the room, leaning his chin into a hand while he watches you pace around the room, and, much to your chagrin, with amusement. 

How could he be so nonchalant about everything? His cool demeanor always contrasted your reactive, uptight one, and without even trying to he manages to piss you off on the daily. 

“Look, I’m sure they’ll be back soon. Or they won’t. Méi wèntí (no problem)!”

You slap your cheeks with a groan. “It’s absolutely an issue, Shen! We’ve wasted how many days trying to capture UMA ____? And now instead of doing anything productive we’re stuck here cause those two decided to ditch us!” 

His polite smile does little to reassure you. 

“You’re way too worried.”

“And you aren’t?!”

He hums, tapping his face. “Not necessarily. Whatever Fuuka told Andy, it must have been important. You saw the way he carried her off with a sprint, no? I trust they have some sort of plan. Although like you, I wish they would have given us a heads up.” 

While you sure loved Fuuko, her brash plans always gave you the worst fucking headaches. You’re glad Andy is there to protect her, but still. 

You sigh and plop face down on the mattress next to the blue haired man. 

For a moment, there is only silence. Eventually, you forfeit.

“…For what it’s worth, this bed sure is comfy.” 

“Right?” Shen agrees, moving to lay down on his back and stare at the hot pink ceiling. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Y/N, but I think you’re too stressed most of the time. Have you ever tried meditation? I’m no meditation master, but I can offer you some pointers.” 

“No thanks,” You grimace at him, “Meditation stresses me out.”

“That’s counterintuitive.” 

“I know.”

More silence. 

He turns his head to face you. “Well if you happen to find a way to destress and need a partner, I’d be happy to lend a hand. I’d offer to spar with you, but I know you’re not much of a fighter.” 

“That’s…that’s real nice of you, Shen. Thanks.” 

“Of course,” His smile reaches his eyes when he adds, “You’re cute when you’re pouting, but I think you’re even prettier with a smile on your face instead.”

It takes a second for the words to click in your head, then a blush blooms across your face.  

“Hey. Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“Gànba (go ahead).”

“When we first met, I hated your guts. You always had this shit eating grin on your face no matter what’s happening, and it drove me insane. It’s really hard to tell what you’re actually feeling behind that smile. It made it difficult to trust you, and I already had a hard time trusting people as it was. Still do, actually.” 

You continue on. “But after spending more time with you and the others, I’ve learned that you’re not all that bad. And maybe you are hard to read sometimes but I trust that you’re not a threat and want to protect the people you care about. And I find that really admirable, ya know? A lot. So uh? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d like to get to know you more as a person and be friends. And that I’m sorry for always having my head up my ass.”

His eyes widen at your words and you look away abashedly. “I mean, if being buddies is a problem then I totally understand I mean whywouldyouwannahangoutwithmeinthefirstplace—“

He reaches to grab your hand, halting your rambling. “Does that mean I have permission?”

“Uh, permission to what?”

He squeezes your hand, eyes ablaze with something you couldn’t put your finger on. “To kiss you.”

Immediately you’re a stuttering mess. “Hah?? I mean - what - no, I - that’s totally inappropriate, we can’t —“ He locks eyes with you, “Please kiss me.” 

You’re shocked. Did he just use his Negator ability on you?

He ears turn pink at your proclamation and he says, “Of course. Anything you want.”

Before you can say anything in retaliation he’s moving in on you like a shark. With a hand cupping the back of your head, his lips meet yours hungrily, leaving your body slack with shock. You can barely breathe as he fights his way into your mouth, tongue exploring inside your mouth fervently. You bring your hands up to his chest to push back but he doesn’t budge. 

It feels like eternity before he lets you go. When he finally relents, you’re gasping for breath. You look into his eyes, shocked to see that they’re dilated, blown wide with excitement.

He says breathlessly, “I’ve been interested in you since the day you joined the Union. I did everything I could to get you to like me. I tried to be the nice guy, be polite and approachable, but you never seemed to wanna let me in. I was honestly beginning to give up. You don’t know how happy I am to finally hear you say that.” 

His strong hand roams to grip your waist. Tightly. With a low whisper he says, “I want you. I want all of you. And if you let me, I’m going to do more than just kiss you, my dear.” 

You’re so flustered you don’t even know what to say. “I — you — wait. You like me?Why? I mean we’re basically coworkers aren’t we and I don’t know about you but datingcoworkershasalwaysbeenweirdand—“

He gives you a knowing wink, and you’re back to speaking your hidden truths again. 

“I want you more than I can say.“ Fuck Untruth. 

Apparently you said that last bit out loud, because Shen gives you a hearty laugh, so much he has to wipe a tear from his eye. 

Embarrassed, you want to get up and leave the room, but he’s still looking at you. His ability is still turned on and you can’t budge.

“Yeah, I can’t let you leave. Not when I finally know how you really feel about me.”

Great. 

His face almost seems apologetic. “Forgive me, Y/N my dear. I just know that this is the only way I can get the truth out of you.”

You want to yell at him but your mouth will only tell another story. With slight apprehension, you watch as his signature smile mutates into something darker, more predatory. 

“I’m usually one to play the role of a gentleman,” He inches closer to you, lips whispering against your ear, “But I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough, no?”

You gulp. 

With a quick push, he immediately has you on your back, staring up at him like a deer in the headlights. His arms are around both sides of your head, legs caging you in. You find yourself shaking with either anxiety or excitement, you can’t tell. 

“Fàngsōng (relax). I promise I won’t hurt you. Unless you want that, that is”. 

You move a hand up to cover his eyes so he can’t use his Negation, sparing the both of you from whatever embarrassing remark would come out of your mouth otherwise. 

Despite the hand in his face, he was smiling at you like a villain. “You know, you’re not really helping your case by doing that. I can still tell what you want, see?”

A gasp escapes your lips as you feel a hand trail down your pants, into your panties. An electrifying tingle flows through you when Shen rubs you in a circular motion. Opening your eyes, he’s already taken his hand out (much to your disappointment) and is staring at the slick coating his fingers. Your hand is long gone from his face. 

“Hmm, pretty wet.” He hums. 

You watch mortifyingly as Shen licks his fingers clean, the sight counteractively igniting something within your core. 

“And you taste pretty damn good, too.”

He gets off you and starts tugging your pants off. Before he goes further, asks, “Can I?”

He doesn’t even have to use his ability. You respond with a small, barely above a whisper, “yes”. 

With your face as red as it can possibly be, the muscular man gives you a flirtatious wink, his eyes lidded with lust at this point. 

Both your pants and undergarments are thrown across the room, and your lower half is left bare for him to see. By instinct you try to close your legs, wanting to hide, but the Union member’s arms keep you open. 

The way he stares at your pussy has you feeling faint of heart. He’s eyeing you like you’re a famous painting he’ll only get to see once in his life, doing his best to analyze and remember every detail. 

“Can you please stop staring? This is embarrassing,” You whimper. 

“No need to be so shy, my dear. You’re beautiful. I want to see everything.” His enthusiasm does little to settle your nerves. 

With a devious smirk, he lays on his stomach, face between your thighs.

“Xiè xie nǐ de shí wù (Thanks for the food).” 

Fire erupts through your veins when you feel his warm tongue lap at your folds, sliding up and down in the best way imaginable. His lips gently suckle on your clit, and despite not wanting to be loud, you cry out with fervor. You swear the pleasure is insurmountable. 

Your hands grip the fabric of the mattress you’re on, and when his tongue dips in and out of your entrance, you can only moan pathetically. 

“Fuck. Even your moans sound so beautiful,” Shen praises in adoration. You turn to look away, only to have your head jerked back in Shen’s direction. “We can’t be having that. Keep looking at me, my dear. I wanna see those beautiful eyes of yours filled with pleasure.”

Lewd slurping sounds fill the room. 

He looks so pleased with himself while you quiver under his grasp, something intense gradually building inside of you. Your hands instinctively move to grip his hair, mindlessly pushing him down further to eat you out. You feel yourself reaching close to that high, and when that strong tension in your core finally snaps, you feel lightheaded from the your intense orgasm.  

You’re so sensitive that every nerve of your body feels lit up. But that doesn’t stop Shen. 

The man keeps lapping you up, causing you to grip his hair tighter as you cry, “Fuck, I came! I came I came I came, stop, it’s so fucking sensitive, god!” 

It takes another minute of begging before 

He opts to listen to you. He chuckles. “Well, did my girl like that? You tasted so good, mhm.”

You’re left speechless, still reeling from your orgasm. Shen gets up on his knees and begins to strip. You always knew he was buff, but you’re mesmerized by his toned muscles as he removes his shirt, revealing a chiseled stomach and oh-so broad chest. 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks when he sends you another wink, obviously enjoying the fact that you’re ogling him. When he slides his pants off, you see that he’s hard with want, the tip of his veiny cock an angry red color. You feel intimidated by the sheer size. 

He’s big. 

“Uhm…I don’t think that’s gonna fit,” you mumble nervously. 

He laughs at that. “Sure it will. We’ll make it work, my dear.”

Now as naked as you, he moves to give you another fiery kiss, his tongue tangling itself with yours. He reminds you again how beautiful you are, whispering praises between every break. He touches you again, pleased that your juices and his spit have you sopping when through and through. 

Finally, when he feels like he can’t wait any longer, what would be a loud cry from you is silenced by a kiss as he moves to shove his member into your weeping entrance. He has you caged between his arms again, your legs wrapped around his torso. It’s a slow endeavor at first, letting you get used to his size as he stretches you out.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” You feel your insides being stuffed to the brim with his cock. He slowly moves in, until he finally fully braces himself inside you.

He gently moves in and out, a slothful but sure pace. He opts to wrap his tongue around the hard nipple of your breast. 

“Good girl,” he praises, “Taking me so well, aren’t you.”

“I—I don’t…” You words fall at the wayside. 

“Fuck,” he groans, “We’re meant to be together, don’t you see?”

Shen awaits an answer but your words regress to babbles and whines.

You whimper as he suckles on your neck, bound to leave a nasty hickey after. The pleasure is too overwhelming and you inch to get away. It’s futile though — he has you locked in.

“You’re not getting away,” his soft voice turns into a growl when he realizes you’re trying to evade him, and he grabs the arms you were pushing at his chest with, opting to pin them down at each side of your head. 

“I’ll make you feel so good you can’t get away.”

All of a sudden, the movement of his hips snaps from gentle to rough, the stronger man voraciously sheathing his cock in and out of you like a beast in heat.

“Oh god,” You words slur as your mouth pools with saliva, drooling from total ecstasy, unable to do anything except hold on to the man who’s ravaging you. Tears of delight prickle at your eyes.

You feel so good you can hardly think straight, blissfully enjoying the sudden roughness he displays as he mutters, “Don’t think anyone else can make you feel this good, huh? Nǐ shì wǒ de (You are mine).” 

He pumps into you relentlessly, looking down on you with crazed lust in his eyes, watching as your eyes nearly roll back in enjoyment. You feel so full, you don’t know how you can continue taking it. 

“Shen, Shen, I can’t take it!”

“Yes, you can. And you will.” He commands. 

Another orgasm threatens to overcome you, and even though you’re begging him to give you a minute of respite, he doesn’t comply. 

“I’ve waited so long to have you, you’re not getting a break that easily.”

He gets you to where you’re on your knees, ass up with your face in a pillow. 

With a groan he’s back inside you, hitting your insides deeper than you thought possible. 

“You’re too perfect, I can watch you all day,” He confesses. 

Your cries bounce off the walls of the room when he gives your ass a slap. It stings, but you’re so far on Cloud 9 that you don’t care. If anything, it’s the catalyst to you cumming once more. Shen eyes in fascination as your cunt spazzes around his member, highly satisfied with himself for making you feel so good. 

He kneads your ass as you’re gasping for air, basically sobbing from your orgasm taking the life out of you. Your cunt is twitching when he slowly pulls out, only to slam back in as hard as he possibly can. He fastens his grip on your ass, pulling you back into him when you try to move further away. 

“No running,” He chastises, earning another hard slap on your ass. You yelp at the roughness of it all, but in truth? Maybe you’re enjoying it a lot more than you should. 

You turn your head as best as you can to look at the man ravaging you. He’s looking at you with such intense focus, gritting his teeth in an unnerving grin that leaves you feeling aroused and like you’re prey. Sweat beads down his forehead and chest as he continues to pound you, leaving your pussy a wet and stuttering mess. 

His hands meet your waist and with one deft move your back hits the bed again. You hear Shen curse before your sweat covered, fucked-out sinful visage, and you don’t bother holding back the moan that leaves your throat when the angry red head of his dick slides back into your entrance.

“So good,” He grunts, fucking you into a mating press. He moves a hand down to fumble with your clit, eliciting all the cries he’s grown to love hearing out of you. 

You feel as if you might come again, and you know Shen is getting close too when the man’s thrusts grow sporadic. 

“That’s it,” He encourages through clenched teeth, “Cum for me. Cum on my cock!”

His words send you over the edge, and you clench around his dick once more. 

“Yes, please,” He hears you beg, and that’s all he needs to climax himself. A quick couple of thrusts and he pulls out, hastily pumping his long shaft with a hand until thick ropes of cum decorate your chest. 

He reaches for the towel conveniently placed on the nightstand and gently wipes away the mess he made.

“Hahhh,” Once he’s done, he breathes out a pleased sigh, collapsing beside on you the bed. 

“Holy shit,” You say through unsteady breaths. You try to reel yourself in after all those intense orgasms. 

Unfortunately for you, post nut clarity hits hard and FAST, and you immediately make way to get up and clean off, and maybe bury yourself someplace hidden. You get the nagging feeling that maybe your bed partner will regret his decision later on, and howcouldyoulookhimintheeyesnow—-

Shen tugs your hand back and pulls you close, wrapping you in his arms. 

“Hey, don’t leave me all by myself! Let’s stay like this for a while, yes?” He says. 

“I…okay,” You can’t help but agree, comfortable in his warm embrace. The two of you stay like that for a while, basking in the afterglow of the deed and eachother’s presence. 

———————————————————————

Fuuka was throwing duck feed into a pond when Andy sat down next to her, watching with a mischievous grin as all the ducks scattered away under his scrutinizing glare. 

“Say,” Fuuka starts after slapping her partner on the shoulder for his harassment of the ducks, “Do you think we can head back to the hotel now? We already spent the money Shen gave us for Shonen Jump.”

Andy hums, finger on his chin in thought. 

“Nah, Shen asked us to leave for the whole day, remember? Let’s get dinner before heading back.”

“Why do you think Shen wanted us gone in the first place? It’s not like the quest required that we split into teams.”

Andy gives her a pointed look. 

“What?” She says quizzically.

After a few seconds, her face glows beet red, eyes wide with realization.

Hotel + privacy + man + woman = ???

“Holy crap. No way!” She shouts. 

“Yes way. So for our sake and theirs, let’s not go back until late tonight.”

She nods in agreement, fanning her flustered face. 

———-

thanks for reading! And @shiroisotto64, from one Shen lover to another, hope you enjoyed it ;)

[anemoiashifts]

mental health check-in for reality shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

as we all know, reality shifting is generally neural thing but tends to be glorified & romanized by a select few due to people wanting to have a better situation or a more desirable life.

that in itself is totally fine but this post is created with the intent to make sure the community has a healthy relationship with shifting & if not possible solutions.

if mental health is left unchecked it can lead to destructive behaviors & can worsen preexisting mental health concerns. for me personally, that’s not what shifting is about. you can learn about yourself & grow without even shifting. the expansion of your perspective & becoming more empathetic to yourself is something i believe is extremely important.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ how often do you think about shifting ?

while it’s fun to daydream & think about your desired reality — does it consume your life or take away from other tasks that need to get done in this reality? if you’re somebody who has maladaptive daydreaming disorder (like myself!) it can exacerbate the fantasy-like aspect of thinking about shifting.

if you’re someone whose mind wanders a lot do something productive. this could be finishing some homework that you’ve been putting off for a long time or rearranging your bedroom. stuff like partaking in hobbies while listening to youtube videos in the background may help too.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ why are you shifting ?

is it because you’re searching for something bigger ? maybe you’re looking for friends ? while you probably aren’t going to be able to meet your favorite characters here, you can meet lots of other people & make new connections at anytime. if it’s in person or even if it’s in an online space , i bet there are lots of people in this comment section or any shifting video who would love to be your friend.

defining why you want to shift can do wonders for uncovering more about yourself. 90% of the things people want to shift for are & can be found here & you’re more then worthy of them. just because you want something like love or a sense of belonging doesn’t mean you have to travel the multiverse for it.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ “i want to k!ll myself because i can’t shift.”

while i understand frustration, extremes that result in life altering & ending choices are never good and quite frankly, frightening for a creator to see in their comment sections. most sv!c!des are committed on impulse. we go through so many emotions on the daily & process so much information a day. taking a moment alone to think & break down thought process & long term effects your actions will have is a nice way to come back down to earth.

meditation is also a great tool to calm down. you can even use shifting guided meditations without the actual intention to shift. breath work has also been helpful to me.

i understand these suggestions aren’t long term fixes but if you’re someone who has echoed these words & truly meant it then i cannot recommend therapy & possible taking a break from shifting even more to focus on yourself right here where you are. this may not be the answer you’d like to hear but it’s the one that is possibly needed.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ timing.

there is no specific time frame that you have to shift. both children & adults do hold the capability to shift. if someone tells you, you can’t shift because ___ or that you’ll age out of something its simply not true. things take time & it’s okay if your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s. there’s no need to stress yourself out. try to enjoy the journey as well as being excited for the outcome. essentially, a large part of the shifting journey is meditation & affirmations which are both beneficial to your mental & physical self. try to sprinkle in some self love affirmations or general positive thoughts too. even if you need to take a step away from shifting & pick it up at a later date, i encourage you to do so if it’s stressing you out or you’re only focusing on shifting or neglecting your life / responsibilities here.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ shadow & trauma work.

answering questions that are meant to make you think & deeply reflect are tools that hi light some issues you may not even realize you’ve had. i have a tumblr post here with some, but for tiktok, ill list some on the next side. these ones are specifically for shifting but i encourage you to venture out to discover some more personal ones to expand upon your answers to these.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

i should also mention, i’m not a therapist so take what i say as non-professional advice & mere suggestions & a starting point to truly expand what shifting has done for you, negatively & positivity. im a huge advocate for therapy & if you feel comfortable enough expand upon these conversations in sessions if you feel comfortable.

i understand my audience is varied in age but i do notice a lot of you are younger then myself. it’s hurts to see people who are so young stress themselves out this much over trying to shift. i really do care about you & want to see all of you happy — with or without shifting.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.