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late-to-the-magnus-archives · 2 years ago

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Not Kind - a Malevolent fanfic

The Dreamlands were not kind.

They were not cruel, particularly; they were what Dreamers made them to be, constantly changing, shifting, evolving.

Sometimes, the Dreamlands delivered hell.

Part of the Surrogate series.

AO3

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The Dreamlands were not kind.

They were not cruel, particularly; they were what Dreamers made them to be, constantly changing, shifting, evolving.

They were what humans dreamed, bred with deific power into new and twisted things, or places, or people.

They were memories made permanent, wishes made real. They were nightmares come to life and shambling through the wastes. They were petals and soft sounds and impossible music, sweetening the air and bringing smiles to all who found them.

Sometimes, they were things unknown, remembered by those close to the one confronted—things dropped into their heads and their senses and their minds without permission or input or experience.

Sometimes, the Dreamlands delivered hell.

Nibbles came back out and nodded. The cabin was safe.

Faroe peeked, anyway, taking her time.

It smelled empty. Dusty. Distinctly unused, and that was fine by her. It had a real fireplace, and thanks to Nibbles’ dexterity, she knew the chimney wasn’t blocked. She lit a fire and sat in front of it, feeling boneless, feeling tired.

Ishara. A place with humans in charge. She knew not to expect much; her own kind were crude, and wasteful, and slothful, and often gross, but they were also cowardly and self-serving, and so should respect her authority.

They would know who her father was, and they wouldn’t be stupid enough to try anything dumb.

She knew she should make a bed. Find a way to lie down, get comfortable; try to sleep.

She didn’t move. The fire warmed her face and crackled pleasantly, melting her tension, filling her lungs with heat.

Nibbles flopped beside her with a sound like shadows and whispers and hooves, and rested her head on Faroe’s lap.

Faroe scritched behind her ears, under her chin. “We’re getting close now. I can feel it.”

Nibbles gave her a deeply disbelieving look.

“I mean it,” Faroe said. “This is the point where it’s starting to seem hard and hopeless, and that’s always when the turn comes. When they figure it out, or get sent an emissary, or a sign, or something. It’s good. I promise, it’s good.”

It had been less good of late. She’d enjoyed Odd so much—the kindness, the generosity—but that had been the last kindness she’d seen. Enclaves were all right, but deeply suspicious, and it felt like she had to prove she wasn’t secretly a demon in every single one before she could safely spend the night. She avoided towns; too many people, too great a chance of being recognized.

Or at least remembered. She had no doubt her dad was hot on her trail. She smiled weakly. “I’m never going to let this go, you know. We’ve been gone for weeks, and he still hasn’t found us. If this were a game, I’d be winning.”

Nibbles snorted.

Faroe snorted back.

They both did their own version of laughing.

Her smile faded. “I don’t want to scare him. I probably did. And Uncle Arthur…” She sighed. “I’m sure he’s afraid for me. He always is. I’m not so… fragile.” It was annoying. “I can still outrun him, out-climb him… but he just won’t stop being afraid for me. It’s irritating, right?”

Nibbles didn’t seem to think it was irritating.

“Why not?”

Nibbles huffed.

“I don’t understand huff.”

Nibbles huffed again.

Faroe sighed. “I know. I’m being ungrateful. I know not everyone is loved like I am. But don’t you see? That’s why I have to do this. I have to solve this. Fix… fix whatever’s wrong in me. I owe them that much.”

Nibbles gently bonked her stomach, like a cat.

“You can’t talk me out of it,” said Faroe, and yawned. Instead of lying back, she leaned forward, draping herself on Nibbles’ familiar form. “Nobody’s going to talk me out of it.”

Nibbles made an answering sound, a repeated thrum, a calming sensation she’d made for Faroe since before Faroe could remember.

It was better than a lullaby. She fell fast asleep.

She woke to the slap and sizzle of something thrown in a pan.

It was such a familiar sound and scent that she startled awake, but opened her eyes to unfamiliar light.

This wasn’t the cabin anymore.

In front of her was not a fireplace, but a weird, square device with an enormous trumpet-like tube coming out of the top. A single black disc sat on its surface, still and shiny, with ridges all around its circumference.

She stared. She looked up. The walls were a sort of dingy white; numerous small portraits hung from them, all humans, standing and staring at the camera in various states of what could be distress. No one smiled. Those unsmiling mouths were all she could see of their details; the hats were weird, pulled low over faces, and the clothes were dumpy and did not fit.

Slap-sizzle.

Slowly, she turned.

Behind her was a narrow room, mostly lit by one dim light overhead and two small lamps, one in the kitchen, one at the table.

Both kitchen and table were occupied.

Faroe began to shake.

They were… people. But not people. They had no faces.

A man sat at the table, something in his body and posture freakishly familiar, and that made everything worse. (No face, he had no face, he had—) He was bent over paper, scribbling away, pencil frantically writing; then he’d pause, erase what he’d written, and scribble over the same spot.

Over. And over. And over again.

Slap-sizzle.

In the kitchen stood a heavily pregnant woman in a dress, cooking at a stove situated to the side. (No face! No face! She had no face!) She had a single pan; beside that, she had a wooden cutting board with thin, pink steaks of unidentifiable meat, lightly coated in flour. Every few seconds, she’d pick up a piece of meat and toss it into the pan with disgust, as though she hated it, as though she’d rather be doing anything else.

Slap-sizzle.

And then… she did it again. And then she did it again, as though the meat had dissolved, as if the raw nastiness on the cutting board was never ending, as if—

Erase. Scribble.

Toss. Slap-sizzle.

Over. And over.

Something was so bad here. Something so terrible. It clutched at her, squeezing her chest, compressing her lungs. She rubbed her eyes. No—she was awake, and this was happening. “He… hello?” Faroe managed with a voice made of straw.

Erase. Scribble.

Toss. Slap-sizzle.

On her lap, Nibbles made a questioning sound.

There was no reason for this to fill Faroe with horror. There was no reason to feel trapped. She could see the door, right there—slightly ajar, beckoning. Could see a glimpse of the Dreamlands beyond it. She was not trapped.

She felt trapped.

This was never-ending. This was a cage.

Erase. Scribble.

Toss. Slap-sizzle.

No faces. They didn’t see each other. They didn’t speak. They wouldn’t look.

Trapped. Caged. This was…

Faroe leaped to her feet.

Nibbles bleated in startlement, leaping with her.

“Hello?” Faroe tried one more time.

Erase. Scribble.

Toss. Slap-sizzle.

It would never end. This was it, forever, for the rest of their lives, caged.

She ran for the door and burst through, crying though she didn’t know why, feeling that inevitable noose clamping around her though there was no noose and she did not know these people or this situation—

(but she did)

—did not know how and why they were trapped together and trying so hard not to hate it and each other—

(but they did)

—but they were trapped and there was no choice but to put up with it and make it work and keep pushing through and lying to themselves and each other and the world and—

Faroe doubled over, gasping, shaking, weeping tears the faceless people were not allowed to shed, and Nibbles pressed against her, making concerned sounds, nuzzling, circling as if trying to get between her and whatever she had seen.

Faroe looked up.

The cabin was back to what it had been: nothing. Empty. Abandoned.

Still hitching, she wiped her face frantically. “You didn’t see them?”

Nibbles made the cutest questioning sound.

“No. Of course not.” What was that? What had that been? Who had they been? Ghosts of people who once lived in that cabin?

(She knew they were not.)

(She knew they were…)

(Connected.)

Dreamlands shit, that’s what this was. She couldn't think about this. Wouldn’t think about this.

(That man’s body language as he wrote and erased and wrote again was so familiar...)

She laughed weakly. “Just bad dreams made real, right? Just nightmares, given form. They can’t hurt me. It doesn’t matter. Any… anyone can handle a few bad dreams?” And she cried, clinging to Nibbles.

Nibbles nuzzled her, nudged; urged Faroe, still crying, onto her back, and began trotting away at speed. Better to get away from the scary place, whatever it was, whatever it had been.

Trapped.

Caged.

Faroe was not caged, and had never known the feeling. She never wanted to know it again. It made her desperate, even in a few seconds of time.

What would she have done if that were her life? What would she have had to do?

Anything to get out.

“Stop it,” she told herself. “No more,” she told herself, and she took out her book to distract herself.

Guinevere felt trapped, too, didn’t she? She did. They all did. Trapped by honor, trapped by society, trapped by right and wrong.

So that didn’t help. Faroe put the book back. “Sing to me, Nibbles?”

It wasn’t singing, exactly, what Nibbles could do, but it was known, and familiar, and welcome. The low, didgeridoo-like sound vibrated through her muscles and skin and soul, and Faroe clung to Nibbles and would not look up.

She could get through this. It was just a nightmare. It was nothing. She wasn’t trapped. She never would be.

“Nibbles,” she whispered, finally, finally admitting it out loud. “I can’t wait until this is over and we can go home.”

In response, Nibbles went faster, as if she could outrun the dead.

#malevolent #malevolent fic #malevolent pod #faroe lester #nibbles lester #surrogate series

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unlikelywrestlingfan · 1 year ago

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I'm being a little shit here

What's your thoughts on Jay White and Juice Robinson

I welcome it

Disclaimer: This is about the fictional characters Jay White and Juice Robinson, not the guys who play them, who seem to be lovely gentlemen, and who I appreciate for giving me such well crafted villains to despise. Also, just because I'm a hater doesn't mean others shouldn't love them...this is what people mean when they say I'm kindhearted isn't it? I have a hater disclaimer. Anyways....

Juice Robinson: This man has the most annoying voice in the world, and I fully believe he leans into that. listening to it makes me feel like someone is using cheese graters against both my ears while shrieking. He has the iq of a gnat on acid, who thinks it can do anything. Apparently he used to be a silly jester man before he turned evil and joined BC, but I only know the BC version, and now BCG versions of him. He is a minion of Jay White, which will only end poorly for him, and I will pity his sad self on the day he gets betrayed. As for his actual wrestling ability, I'm going to be honest, my mind gets blinded by irritation and rage when he's on screen so I honestly don't know what his actual wrestling style is, but I'm sure he's quite talented.

Jay White: Where do I begin? I hate him with every fiber of my fragile being. His mere face upon my screen is enough to provoke feelings of rage, him speaking conjures vats of angry lava within my heart, and his actions cause my rage to erupt like a volcano (those are weak metaphors but I am tired and lightheaded, so please bear with me XD). He is a Shakespearean tragedy of a character in the worst best way. Everytime they call the finisher that was shoot lovingly passed down but from my understanding not so in kayfabe that he stole from Alex Shelley "the Bladerunner" I have to resist the urge to go full autocorrect with it's proper name, "the Shellshock." He can't let go of the Bullet Club, so he's now doing Bullet Club Generic, I mean Gold, and DAVID FINLAY IS STILL LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT BUT I HOPE WE WILL SEE SWEET SWEET VENGEANCE ONE DAY. He's my worstie, my nemesis, my mortal enemy, and I enjoy watching him suffer for the consequences of his cowardly actions.

And that's just like. The very tip of the iceberg of my feelings about Jay White. But this is already long XD.

(Obligatory shoutout to gentlemen who play these horrid villains - my hate of your characters is an appreciation for your artistry)

For more information on me hating Jay White, check out my "#elle spites jay white" tag. For more general posts about Jay White, see the "#that knife guy from new japan" tag. Juice does not have a tag but posts about him would be filed under "#bang bang bullet club."

#elle spites jay white #that knife guy from new japan #bang bang bullet club #basil #elle's mailbox #thanks for playing!

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ninapi · 2 years ago

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Save me (Kageyama Version)

Premise: Friendship is a fragile thing. Keeping you safe was his priority for the longest time, but overcoming hardships along someone you hold dear form irreplaceable, indestructible bonds, and a childhood friend can easily become the love of your life; or so that was for Kageyama Tobio.

Word count: 3286

Note: Welcome to the final route for this series! If you’re new to the series, in order to understand what’s going on chapter 0 (link here) is very important, also Semi’s chapter 1 is the original set up for the current timeline so I would advise you to read that one first as well (link here), if you haven't yet. With that out of the way, let’s all scream together because Kags is finally here~ 🙊

Chapter 1: First Love

Kageyama Tobio had always been alone, ever since he was a child, his only friends were members of his own family. His overwhelming talent made his personality take a sudden turn for the worse when facing rejection by his fellow volleyball teammates.

He always knew he had talent and had been groomed since a young age by his even more talented grandfather to be at the top of the volleyball industry. He came to this world to be a setter and the people around him knew this, building an impenetrable barrier around him.

When he arrived at Kitagawa Daiichi that barrier just kept growing steeper. He knew he was at fault, he didn’t know how to make friends, how to be gentler, all he’s ever got from other people has been rejection, mistreatment, spiteful words, so that was all he knew how to give back.

Kitagawa Daiichi came with many downsides, but also brought an unexpected light to his life which he thought was completely out of his reach for the longest time.

His captain was the worse type of human being to ever exist. He felt threatened ever since his arrival to the team as they shared the same position, and he was clearly better at it, making his life miserable on purpose. Oikawa’s personality was the complete opposite to what he was, as annoying as one can be, but everybody seemed to love him regardless and he had something he could never aspire to get, you.

Being deep into volleyball since he was very young, this was the first time he developed some sort of interest for the opposite sex. You were the only person in the entire school who wasn’t mean to him, you weren’t scared of being a target for his hateful words, never annoyed by it either. Always worried about his well being, constantly nagging at the others for their comments and taking offense in his behalf. It felt weird having someone worry over him and at first it was nothing but a nuisance to him, he would always ignore you, wave away your smiles with disinterest. You shinned too bright for his taste and he didn’t know how to handle it.

He would say you were as annoying as your boyfriend was, but in reality, he was just lying to himself like he usually did when he wanted to run away from his problems. He didn’t want to see you in a better light because you fraternized with the enemy, someone willing to date Oikawa was definitely not worthy of his time.

But you kept on insisting, would just sit beside him without making any noise, all you wanted was to be there for him, if he wanted silence, that’s what he’d get. Companionship didn’t feel as bad as he thought it would and he started to look forward to the short moments he would share with you during practice. There was something about the way you looked at him so openly, there were no lies, no bad intentions, your presence was soothing and so, he stopped avoiding you all together.

Friendships aren’t easy to build, but you were the one putting in all the hard work, the least he could do was reply back to you when you felt like talking to him, stop pushing you away, and that did the trick.

When he saw Oikawa’s true colors for the first time a hole grew in his stomach. He couldn’t fathom someone could treat you the way he did. You had nothing but good intentions in life, your heart was full of love, you were a rare type of human, he’d never seen someone like you before, definitely didn’t deserve such a treatment especially not from someone who was supposed to love you.

He didn’t know there was a side to himself willing to protect someone, all he cared about was himself and volleyball, but somehow, wanting to protect you came out of him naturally and feeling your warmth against his chest the day everything blew up was a game changer for him. He could feel you tremble in fear, but he could also feel the way your body relaxed against his when you noticed he was there. The skin of your wrist was red and swollen, your face devoid of all color, making him realize Oikawa was indeed a piece of shit with everyone, not just to him, he sees that now and made him question your decisions, he wouldn’t even respect the only person around who truly deserved that respect, and suddenly he wished Oikawa would just go away for good without leaving a trace.

Days after that became dull. Oikawa stole his everyday happiness, the peaceful moments he shared with you in a secluded bench in the gym, the light banter that always led to your soft giggles. He lost it all just because your boyfriend saw you and him sharing some milk. It was his doing, he caused this, that’s why he wanted to leave in the first place and let you sulk without your lactose dose of the day, but he didn’t, he couldn’t resist the look of despair in your eyes, even if that meant cutting down his own intake of goodness. It was a silly simple action but ended up drifting you two apart, souring his mood for the entire rest of the year.

But when Oikawa finally left for high school, air came back into his lungs.

The very first day of your last year in Kitagawa Daiichi, the first thing you did was wait for him by the school gate. The smile you gave him once you finally saw him coming was like no other thing he’s seen before. Your eyes were twinkling in the morning light, your cheeks rosy with excitement, your hair had grown a bit over the winter break and you changed your hairstyle, somehow you looked more relaxed, it showed on your face. “Kageyama-kun! How have you been? I went to visit some friends in Tokyo over the weekend and they had this limited-edition milk, it made me think of you, so I got us two! Let’s try it in the lunch break, ok?” that’s right, he was gone, he could actually talk to you again.

“You really know how to get someone’s attention, don’t you?” chuckling, you laced your arm around his while you went inside the school building. It felt so freeing to the both of you not having to watch over your backs every single minute, not having to watch your words anymore. “See you at lunch then, T.O.B.I.O-kun~” you left him behind, running over to your classroom in a fit of crazy giggles, like if he was going to chase you around just for calling him by his first name, which of course he didn’t, though, it made him smile.

Lunch was fun, even if you stole one of his sausages. The weird milk you brought from Tokyo tasted like cough syrup, but it was so horrible that it just made everything better. He’s always eaten lunch by himself somewhere hidden from the rest, searching for a peaceful quiet moment, but you made lunch period fun, it was a good kind of different.

He thought about walking you home, you both lived in the same direction anyways, and your bashful smile when he suggested it made his chest feel a bit tight. Though, the giddiness in the air didn’t last long, as soon as you both came out of the school together a large angry hand stopped you from walking any further. “You seriously need to stay the fuck away from my girlfriend, Tobio-chan. Is it that difficult to understand that she’s already taken? That you aren’t welcomed here? Did mommy not teach you not to touch what’s not yours?” he thought he was gone for good and you never expected him to actually come and pick you up, his high school was pretty out of the way, it was absolutely not necessary for him to do so, but he didn’t trust you, didn’t trust the look in Kageyama’s eyes when you were around. “Don’t be like this, Toru. We were just headed in the same direction that’s all. Come on let’s go. We’ll get going now, Tobio-kun. See you around.” the sad smile on your face made him want to punch this man and his smug annoying face out of this world, you looked clearly bothered and uncomfortable, your wrist once again red and swollen. He thinks of how bright and how full of life your face was this morning and saw nothing left. This relationship was clearly taking a toll on you and he just didn’t know what to do to help or if it help was even welcomed.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Kageyama thought you’d be scared of Oikawa’s recurring behavior, he thought you’d stop talking to him once again, but you proved him wrong when he saw you waiting for him by the school gates like the previous day.

He’d never had a true friend before, so he was unsure if that’s how friendships worked, all he knew was that he wanted to continue with whatever that was for as long as it lasted, he wanted to continue being the source of your giggles, being the one to make you feel at ease and comfortable, the one you look for, not hide from. And so, it all began its natural course.

With you, not every day was a happy day, and he was well aware of that before even getting this close.

For some reason you couldn’t hide from him your sadness, your fear. He always knew when something was off. As the year went on, the off days were more than the good ones and all he could do was to be there for you. He wanted to do more, to kidnap you and take you away from this pain that hunted you. He wanted to make you understand what you were doing for Oikawa out of compassion was ruining your own life. He wanted to see you laugh more, to be carefree again. But you continued pushing your fears away and focused on your time together, you loved helping him practice during breaks, the exercise and his company almost made you forget the unpleasant life you were having.

That day you took a punch for him was more than a revelation for Kageyama. He wanted to officially have the roll to protect you, not only from this man, but from harm in general. The pained look on your face, the lack of strength on your legs that could barely support your own weight, you were such a kind loving person, seeing you so broken made him so angry he could barely contain himself.

Knowing you would finally leave Oikawa for good and attend Shiratorizawa brought excitement to his heart, finally, you would be free. You would be able to smile, he would be able to take you home, go out together on the weekends, share some ice cream, who knows maybe even hold hands, or so he thought, since he didn’t see you again in school after that and your phone number had been cancelled before he got the courage to give you a call.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

He did his best to get admitted in Shiratorizawa, even asked his sister to help him study. Originally he wanted to make his grandfather proud, but now most of all, he wanted to see you again.

Sisters are a pain. His study sessions turned into questioning, his sister was very much intrigued by this friend of his and used her help as bargain chip to squeeze information out of the poor boy. That day he learned friends don’t have this many feelings for each other and she ran around the house professing his undying love, earning her a ball to the face.

But she wasn’t entirely wrong.

He missed you. That wasn’t normal for him, but he thought it was because you were a very important friend and that was it, until he just couldn’t sleep at night thinking about the silliest of things, like that one time milk came out of your nose and he had to clean your face while you couldn’t stop laughing, how you would bury your face on his arm when you didn’t want him to see you cry, how short your skirt was in summer and how he was able to see that cute lil mole you had on one of your legs that you claimed didn’t even know of its existence, how you would always wait for him with a smile on your face even when you had an awful fight with his nemesis.

His sister was definitely not wrong.

The way his chest felt tight whenever you were sad, whenever you would get too close to his face, whenever you would cover his scraps with band-aids, whenever you smiled just for him to see.

At first, he thought it was annoyance, he thought he hated all these things, girls had always been overly attentive with him for some reason, and he’s hated their guts since the very beginning. But he caught himself smiling back one day and realized he didn’t hate it as much if it was you. He even kept one of your carebears band-aids in his desk’s drawer, always saying he would throw it away another day. Truth is, every time he sees it his chest feels full and that was a nice feeling, so it will probably live in his drawer for the rest of his days.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Going to Karasuno wasn’t a choice but a last resort option. He didn’t want to go to Seijoh that was a fact, so the closest second school to his house happened to be Karasuno and seemed like they had a volleyball club too. Anything was better than fighting Oikawa again for his position in the team.

It wasn’t his first choice, he hated himself for not being able to get in Shiratorizawa, but he found out quickly that Karasuno wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

It took some time, but he finally felt like part of a team and that was something he’s been searching for, for years.

The first time he faced Oikawa again he noticed the lack of you in the audience. He knew you said it was over, that you wouldn’t be with him again. But you had said that before many times, and he always ended up breaking you into accepting him back. He wanted to believe this time was true, but he had his doubts. Not seeing you there cheering for him was a good sign, making something resembling hope to bloom in his chest.

Time went by and he thought of ways to approach Shiratorizawa without being pegged as a creep, it wasn’t easy. He went a couple of times as far as he could get without being noticed and there was just no sign of you. Waiting at the gates would be just weird and would draw too much attention, sadly he didn’t know anybody at the school so getting someone to call you over was also not ideal for him, causing all his attempts to fail. The only option left was to win his way over to Shiratorizawa in the tournament, maybe he would get to see you there or at least could ask around.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Semi was going through some of the videos the coach had sent for them to analyze Karasuno and create some tactics, when you plopped down beside him, handing him his lunch. You made a sandwich for yourself, but you ended up buying too much bread, the most viable option being sharing it with your friend as usual. “So, what you doing?” you leaned over so he could share his screen with you, while chewing on some lettuce. “If you may know, rabbit girl, we are playing against these guys next, so we gotta watch them play and learn all their tricks.”

“So that’s how you always win then, you cheat.” laughing at Semi’s unimpressed face, you choked on your lettuce at a single shot of very shinny looking black hair. “EITA! Go back, go back!!”

“Go back where?” you snatched his phone away, doing it yourself, “OH my GOD, I knew it! I would recognize that hair anywhere. You’re playing against my Tobio? You doomed, babeh.” getting his phone back, he stares at the guy in question. He was indeed pretty good, was the only known threat in the list, but was always seen yelling at others and with a permanent scowl on his face, not what he was expecting him to be from the way you talk about him like he was some sort of soft angel. But you liked prickly guys, you were his best friend after all and he was definitely a sourpuss.

“Meh, he looks ok. Not as scary as the Miya twins, which we might have to face if we win against Karasuno. Nothing Ushijima can’t take down.” Hearts were coming out of your eyes while staring at his screen, it’s been so long since you’ve seen him. He looks way taller now, his face slimmer, he’s starting to look like a man, you’ve always thought he was cute, but cute didn’t quite make the cut anymore, he was hot.

“You are looking at him like he was a piece of meat on a grill, (Y/N). Have some self-respect will you, disgusting.” that made you laugh, but you wanted to watch the rest of the game, you could at least live vicariously through it and pretend you actually knew something about his current life. His teammates all looked like good people, they seemed to get along, it made you feel fuzzy inside, if that was true then you were happy for him, of course Shiratorizawa would have been a better fit for him, but Karasuno wasn’t half bad, they made him shine like the star he is.

“Can you send me the video?” grabby hands and puppy eyes were not enough to sway Semi, you knew this but at least you had to try, “You disgust me, but whatever, I’ll send it to you. BUT with one condition. You gotta promise you will go watch the match. That way you can practice going out on your own and you also get to see your eye candy boy again. Deal?” even after practicing with Semi, going out on your own was a terrifying thought, but you wanted to see Tobio and also cheer for your friends, you even promised Ushijima you would go watch one of their matches soon. “Deal.”

It would be scary, but it was a step in the right direction. You would be lying if you said your heart didn’t just skip a beat at the thought of seeing Tobio again, it was worth it.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

“Oh my GOD. Is that a girl?????” Hinata stole Kageyama’s phone running around the entire gym trying not to get caught. “Give me back my phone you imbecile.”

“What’s going on here? Stop acting like kindergarten kids.” Daichi took Kageyama’s phone away from Hinata and handed it over to its rightful owner, not before taking a peek first. His Lock Screen had in fact a picture of a girl laying her head on Kageyama’s shoulder with a dopey smile and dreamy eyes, he was right.

Kageyama had changed his phone background for the only picture he had of the two of you together, seemingly preparing for the match. He wanted to have it in hand so he could ask around Shiratorizawa, all he was thinking about was on ways to get to you, didn’t think his team would see it and make fun of him.

“She’s really pretty, though. Do you know her? She looks older.”

“Can’t say I do. Stop stealing Kageyama’s belongings, I won’t be able to stop him for long if you keep on acting like that.” Kageyama kept on mumbling to himself while hiding his phone in his pocket, a slight tinge of red peeking through his shirt to the back of his neck.

“Maybe he stole the picture from the internet and edited himself into it. He would never be able to get such a cute girl.” Tsukishima could be heard snickering on the background, setting his nerves ablaze, “Shup up, moron. Like you could even get another human to breathe the same air as you.”

Once again Daichi had to go in between them, dragging the smallest load out of the gym with him. If there was one thing he didn’t expect from Kageyama was girl problems, he thought he would be able to graduate in peace before the younglings entered that problematic phase.

But he was wrong.

○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●○●○●○●○●●

Tagged babes: @dazaisfavgf @lauraagrace @san-emi

Masterlist

#haikyuu!!#haikyu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #slow burn #haikyuu x reader #angst #fluff #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyu x reader #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama x y/n #kageyama x you #karasuno

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lumifuer · 4 years ago

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Unwind

Pairings: David 8 x Reader

Words: 814 Warnings: Cringey A/N’s: I actually can’t believe that I’m finally posting this. I was trying to get myself to get back to writing for so long and one day I randomly stumbled upon a story with the game of spin the bottle. I thought of it as a bit too much for my own stories, especially with David but then stalked @thefasstasticvoyage blog and found out that she actually prefered stories with him that weren’t based in space decided that maybe it should be more light-hearted instead. So here it is.

Summary: Can a high school game help David discover the true nature of the sensation spreading across his non-human body?

"All I'm asking of you is to blend in, David. We need to ease them into your presence."

As usual, I decided to go with mister Weyland's wish without much of an unnecessary arguing. The mission was getting inevitably closer with each passing day, but the crew still seemed rather wary of me. As long as I was observing them from afar, everything was going smoothly. They were chatting, bonding over the most irrelevant things and experiences. And then, as soon as I'd stepped into the room, it fell silent. Their muscles would tense, their gaze would avert and focus on a random point or a thing. The knowing looks did not slip by me, even if I tried my best to pretend that they did. Soon after, the informal meetings would disband, leaving me behind without as much as one word.

There was only one exception to this practice. One person whose opinion was not dependant based on my humanity - or lack thereof. The young doctor with impressive expertise in the field would not let prejudice cloud her curiosity. She approached me after her crewmates left and greeted me with sincere kindness. Ever since this small event, she made sure to try and welcome me into their group. Naturally, it was met with small-minded jokes and remarks, but she did not seem to be bothered by them. And I truly appreciated all of her efforts.

One day, only mere weeks before the official date of the inauguration of our mission, the whole group decided to organize a meeting to decompress. Mainly with the use of alcoholic beverages. I knew it could have been one of my chances to earn their trust or, at the very least, tolerance, so I arrived in the lounge room with everyone else. The captain greeted me, possibly influenced by doctor (y/n) or even Weyland's wish, and the gathering started.

I tried to stay by (y/n)'s side, listening to their conversations and laughter, trying to create an image of the entire crew. The alcohol made it easier for them to behave naturally in my presence. Or maybe they simply decided to ignore me altogether. All I knew was that it must have affected their upcoming ideas.

"You're joking, Janek," (y/n)'s voice was both delighted and condescending. "How old are we again?"

"That's what I'm saying! We were supposed to unwind and forget about the importance of this whole thing, right?" he argued.

"By playing an edgy high school game? Thanks, cap," Holloway did not seem so sure about the genius of his captain's plans. He took another sip of his drink and shot a glance to his partner, doctor Elizabeth.

"This is insubordination, right (y/n)?" captain's eyes drifted to the side, pleading for the young woman to support him. But she was clearly uncomfortable, fiddling with a glass in her hand.

"I don't know - I don't feel like playing spin the bottle--"

Janek threw his arms into the air with a frustrated look on his face. "What's up with you people! That's the crew I'm going to be stuck in space with?"

The last sentence earned him a chuckle from a few of the fellow members.

"If you allow me to interfere," I began and everyone looked at me, possibly suddenly recognizing my presence, "what is the purpose of this game?"

They glanced at each other with a mixture of confusion and amusement, but nobody seemed too eager to answer my question.

"Well, kids play this game to get a chance at kissing their high school crush," Holloway was visibly annoyed by my lack of knowledge. "Thought we were past that."

"Kissing?" I raised my brow at the new information. Something changed in the air. It became heavy and uncomfortable, almost forcing me to abandon the situation. A weird sensation flooded my chest area as if someone pressed a scorched metal to the inside of my body. I dropped my gaze to the floor, trying to come up with a solution to this newfound feeling.

Feeling. I was programmed to experience them in a way that humans do. It took my creators years to perfect my version of a nervous system. And now I was struggling with the meaning of it all. I knew they were still continuing the conversation, but the sound of their voices seemed distant and completely unimportant. I lost myself inside my own mind, trying to find an answer.

"David, are you alright?" (y/n)'s voice brought me back into the reality of the current situation. I slowly looked at her face and the sudden revelation fell upon me. The warmth that spread across my body stemmed from all of the kindness I have experienced so far thanks to her. Jealousy. Such a fragile and shallow emotion. Providing humans with the reason to argue, fight and destroy. And now, I was feeling it too.

Thank you so much for reading! ♥ As always, likes, reblogs but especially comments are welcome and truly appreciated!

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I’d like to dedicate this story to the kind and understanding @thefasstasticvoyage - a master in the craft of writing and an amzing human being! Thank you for the messages and support!

#david8 #david 8 #david 8 x reader #david 8 imagine #prometheus #prometheus movie #prometheus 2012 #mywriting

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gamebunny-advance · 3 years ago

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Nice. (+ Self Reflection)

Well, so far at least 5 of you have looked at that thing, which is about 3 more than I expected, so the fic is doing much better than I thought it would, so thanks for taking the time to check it out \(^o^)/

But it is in my nature to not shut the hell up about my inner thoughts, so here they are (warning, contains spoilers to "Heart and Soul"):

The main idea of getting separated from your parent on an elevator is based on something I saw in real life once, except it was an escalator and probably didn't involve robo-security. I always wondered what happened to those kids afterwards...

I really should have cut more out. I feel like there's just a little too much "nothing" happening.

Is calling Tatiana, "Miss Quartz" annoying? The idea with the narration early on is that while it's a third-person narrator, it's still mostly from Yinu's point of view, so her inner thoughts inform the narration more often than not. I dunno, it's kind of inconsistent, and I'll probably stick to something more traditional if I ever rewrite this.

I feel like I accidentally set up the hairbands to be more important than they actually were. They were just supposed to be the cause of the inciting incident, just something to get Yinu to the elevator, but since the front end is the most heavy with description, it put too much emphasis on them. There was one version of the draft where instead of the bandage, one of the bands was her token of appreciation, but it didn't make sense to me to give 1010 a wearable keepsake when his physical body is routinely destroyed, and it would have been lost over time. Having him just lose the memories should have been sad enough on its own. He doesn't need to lose what she gave him too.

I hope that I fixed most of the instances of 1010 being referred to as "it". He's supposed to be an "it" up until he has a proper name, but in an earlier version, the pronoun would change depending on who was focusing on him, so Yinu and Neon J. use "he/him" because they recognize him as a person while Mama and Tatiana use "it" because they don't. I thought it was confusing, so I tried to fix all of them, but there might be some remnants left over. OTL

I feel like I could have cut all this action if I'd just thought to set this during a power outage instead of having 1010 be willingly defiant. I didn't think about this until I was taking a shower after posting. Sometimes shower thoughts are useful. If I ever rewrite this fic, I'll try that out to see if I can keep it saccharine through the entire run. I didn't mean to play "Gotcha!" and make it sad out of nowhere, but that's just where it felt like it was going. If they were both lost due to a power outage, then I think them sticking together and not being able to find the adults is a little more justified.

I should have checked if "Heart and Soul" is actually in the public domain first. I don't think it is, so it doesn't make much sense for 1010 to be programmed with it as one of his default songs. But the whole fic was written around getting to the scene where they play that song together, so I was willing to bend that plausibility to get there.

I wrote this imagining 1010 with his MKI design, hence the cap, but the implication is that he's currently a MKII and then gets upgraded to MKIII. So... yeah. If I rewrite this, I'm gonna have to fix that.

It's not that I don't like stories where the robot outlives its human companions, and it has to learn to cope with that, I just feel like in reality, it would be more likely that the robot either breaks down or loses their memories before their human companion dies. Machines are fragile.

I hope I didn't write Yinu to seem too young. I'm not exactly sure how mature that age range is supposed to be. At 8, she'd be the equivalent of a 2nd or 3rd grader, so I figure this is an age where she can understand complex thought but just not have the vocabulary for it.

#gbunny writes #it's got some problems but i still like it #i usually have such a hard time writing stories but this one came pretty easily #with some actual editing it could probably be a 7 out of 10 instead of the 4 out of 10 it probably is XP

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Change

Mammon x gn!MC

Words - 4346

Content Warnings - angst, lots of fluff, happy endings, pre-relationship stuff (Mammon does call you ‘babe’ but I consider that a GN endearment)

Prompt/Inspiration - none

Summary - You over hear Mammon talking to some demons at RAD, and both of you are forced to confront your feelings.

AO3

Classes had just finished at RAD, and you were heading towards the main gates to meet up with Satan so you could walk home together. Normally Mammon would escort you, but you had planned on staying after today to work on an assignment and told him not to wait for you. It worked out, however, that you had been able to finish your work during a free period in the library, so you got to leave early.

As you walked along, a familiar voice found its way to your ears and you broke out into a wide smile. Mammon was still at RAD and hadn’t left yet! Maybe he’d be able to join you on the way home? There was so much you had wanted to talk to him about, and you looked forward to this time together after every school day.

When you had first arrived here in the Devildom, your mere presence seemed to annoy him and he took advantage of every opportunity to dump you with his brothers and make himself scarce. But things had changed. Though he never said it, you were almost certain he was in love with you. His brothers would tease him about it regularly and it always left him so flustered and embarrassed.

And the truth was, you loved him too. Unconditionally. You knew how hard he tried to do the right thing, even if his plans often ended in disaster. And you admired how he was always looking out for his brothers, and didn’t even look for any acknowledgement - in fact, he preferred it that way. They didn’t know it was him who bought Levi’s new games when he had missed the preorder window, or that he had arranged for an entire truck load of Beel’s favorite pudding to be delivered after he had eaten the last cup that Beel had been saving. He had his reputation to maintain after all. And being thoughtful and considerate was not the look he was going for.

Mammon never failed to make you smile either. And while he was the biggest scaredy cat you had ever met (how was it even possible for demons to be scared of ghosts?), he always showed up to protect you when it mattered. Yeah, it stung sometimes when he’d intentionally keep his distance from you to avoid the teasing of his brothers, but you knew whenever you were alone with him that he treasured you more than anything.

These thoughts in mind, you quickened your pace and headed towards the sound of his voice.

“Hey Mammon, are you coming out with us tonight? That new club opened up.”

“Nah, ‘got babysittin’ duty tonight courtesy of Lucifer.”

“Babysitting duty? You’re still following that pathetic human around?”

You stopped dead in your tracks, rooted to the spot. The laughter of the other demons echoed in the now empty halls. You knew you should move. You needed to leave. This was not a conversation you should be listening to. And every fiber of your being said you should get out of there before you regret it. But still, you couldn’t get your feet to move.

“Ya know how it is. They’re so fragile. It’s not like I wanna be stuck with ‘em. But I can’t exactly let ‘em die either.”

“MC?”

You gave a small yelp as you spun around to find Satan behind you. It seemed you had taken too long to meet up with him so he had gone looking for you out of concern for your safety. You stared at him for a moment struggling to even process what he was doing there. But your brain was stuck on a loop of Mammon’s voice saying, “It's not like I wanna be stuck with ‘em,” on repeat over and over again.

“Um yeah, fine. See ya,” you numbly replied to Satan before you took off running. You just had to get back to your room. And now. Fast. You could feel your cheeks heating up and the pressure building behind your eyes. Just a little further, you thought, as you pushed yourself to run even harder than you knew you were capable of. Just a little further.

————

Satan stood there stunned. He had no idea why the hell you had taken off like that, nor had he understood your bizarre response when he had greeted you. Had he done something? He couldn’t think of anything since he hadn’t spoken to you since he saw you in the library earlier that afternoon.

That was when Mammon stuck his head out from around the corner. He could have sworn he heard your voice, but you were nowhere to be found. Weird. You had told him that he shouldn’t wait for you, but he had decided to anyway. The highlight of his day was walking home with you from school, so he wasn’t about to miss out on that just because you had to stay late. He had decided not to tell you, because he didn’t want to admit that out loud, but he had worked out the perfect cover story to explain why he would show up *just* as you were leaving RAD.

“Mammon.”

He jumped with a start before noticing Satan just on the other side of the corner.

“Holy crap. Why ya gotta sneak up on me like that?!”

“What. Did. You. Do.” Satan replied, emphasizing every word. He didn’t know what Mammon had said or done, but there was no way his presence and your sudden absence were unrelated. He couldn’t be sure, but he knew his brother well enough to know he had doubtless said something he shouldn’t have.

“Do?! I have no idea whattya talkin’ about! Honest! I was just hangin’ out with some friends. I swear!”

“Then why did MC take off running?”

“They WHAT?!”

Mammon’s face blanched. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. There was no way you had overheard him right? Nah, you couldn’t have. He would have known you were there. You would have said hi at least. You always said hi. Yeah Satan had to be mistaken. That couldn’t possibly be why you had left.

But try as he might to convince himself he wasn’t to blame - Mammon knew. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, he knew. That sinking feeling in his stomach was proof enough for him.

“Fix it,” said Satan, narrowing his eyes at Mammon, “Fix it or I tell Lucifer.” And with that he walked off to find you to make sure you had gotten home safely, despite his idiot of a brother. Why you enjoyed Mammon’s company was beyond him. But he knew how happy the scumbag made you, for better or worse, and that was the only reason he wasn’t giving Mammon a public thrashing right now. He at least had to give him a chance to talk to you, for your sake.

————

You weren’t sure how long you had been asleep when you heard a knock at your door. You weren’t in any condition to talk to anyone right now, so you hoped if you just laid there quietly for long enough they’d assume you were still asleep and leave.

But this wasn’t just anyone knocking at your door. It was Mammon. The most persistent demon in the entire Devildom, that also lacked that crucial ability to read a room and know when to leave well enough alone.

“HEY! MC! I know you’re in there. I gotta talk to ya. Open up.”

You let out a heavy sigh, and rose from your bed to go open the door. You knew better than most that there was no getting rid of Mammon at this point. He had decided to talk to you, so talk to you was what he was going to do, and you knew he was likely to break down the door itself if you made him wait too long.

So, without a word, you let him inside.

Before you had even had time to sit down on the edge of your bed, he had launched into a long winded, frantic explanation and apology. He had been joking. He didn’t mean it. You know how he is. He gets nervous.

“Mammon. It’s ok.”

He stopped mid sentence and took a good look at you. You certainly did not look ok. Your eyes were red. There were still dried tears staining your cheeks. Your hair was a disaster. There was no way you were ok, not while you looked like that.

Feeling a bit self conscious, you ran your fingers through your hair to hopefully at least get the tangles out, and flatten the lumps. It was probably a useless gesture, but you still had to try if you wanted Mammon to stop staring at you any time soon.

“You don’t look ok.”

Of course, trust Mammon to state the obvious. You couldn’t help but laugh a little. This was one of the things you had loved about him after all. It was part of his charm.

“Um thanks? I guess? I just meant you didn’t have to worry about me anymore. It’s ok. I got it.”

“Whattya talkin’ about?! What do you get?? You haven’ even listened ta me yet!”

You gave Mammon a small smile. He was trying so hard to figure this out and talk to you. You just had to appreciate that. You knew how difficult it was for him to articulate things sometimes, and talking about his feelings with you was particularly challenging for him.

“Look, I was being foolish. I got caught up in my own thoughts and began to expect things I shouldn’t, and I put pressure on you that you didn’t need. But I’ve cleared my head now and found a new perspective so you don’t have to worry. Honest. I’ll get Beel to start walking with me. It’ll be fine.”

Mammon was stunned. He had no idea what you were carrying on about. You expected things? You pressured him? When have you ever done that? The only thing you ever expected of him was for him to be himself, and he naturally just wanted to be the best version of himself he could for you. He wanted to make you proud of him. The fact that you never pressured him to change was one of the things he loved about you too. You accepted him and all his flaws, and you were always there to help him out of a tight spot or encourage him when he was feeling out of sorts.

And he loved you so much it hurt. Even though he knew he could never tell you, and knew you would never return his feelings, he still wanted to spend every second he could with you and make you smile so much you’d never forget him.

You sighed again. You could tell Mammon wasn’t understanding what you were saying. You had tried to avoid saying it directly because your emotions were still raw, but it looked like you had no choice but to rip off the bandaid and just get it all out there. Otherwise who knew how long it would take for him to understand?

“I love you, Mammon.”

Well, that was not what he was expecting.

“I love you very much. More than I thought possible. But I realize that I was projecting my feelings onto you and reading into things more than I should. Even though I had no reason to believe you felt the same, I still convinced myself you did. And I treated you like we were more than just friends. I shouldn’t have done that and put pressure on you. So, I’m sorry.”

You had been staring at your hands while you spoke, so you didn’t see when Mammon’s face flushed scarlet or when a few tears leaked out from the corners of his eyes. You also didn’t notice that he was about to wrap you up in the tightest, bone crushing hug of your life.

“I love you too,” he whispered, “so so much.”

By now you were laying flat on your back on your bed after being tackled by Mammon, practically immobilized as he buried his face into your neck and confessed his love to you. With what limited motion you had, you managed to wrap one of your arms around his back, rubbing it gently as he cried tears of happiness.

Now it was your turn to be at a loss for words. He loved you? You had realized when you had overheard him talking to his school friends that he was just being his usual awkward self. That wasn’t really what had upset you, not on its own at least. It wasn’t the first time he had said similar things to cover up his own embarrassment and you had gotten used to speaking “Mammon.”

No, what had gotten to you was the fact that you were forced to face the idea that you were nothing more than a friend to him. That was all you’d ever be. You’d finish up what remained of your year here, then you’d get sent back to the human realm, and he’d carry on with his life until he was introduced to a new exchange student whom he’d have to look after.

You weren’t his partner. He was never going to walk hand in hand with you through the halls of RAD, proudly showing you off to any demon that looked his way. That was all just a fantasy you had cooked up in your head due to your own loneliness and desire for love.

But now he was telling you that he loved you, and your brain was struggling to catch up with your heart, which had already started to run wild. All that work you had done convincing yourself to be more logical and not jump to conclusions was quickly unraveling. He loves you. He really loves you.

You wanted to give him a better hug, so you tried to wiggle your other arm free that was currently pinned to your side underneath him. But his grip on you only tightened, afraid you were about to push him away or take back what you said.

“Mammon, babe, can you at least let me hug you?”, you asked with a smirk as you tried to turn your head to face him, wiggling your arm again and hoping he’d get the message.

“Oh!”

He jumped back slightly, afraid he had been hurting you, which only made you laugh. With your arm now free you adjusted your position, returning his hug with one of your own, holding him as tightly and closely as possible. You leaned your head against his, giving him a small kiss by his ear, and repeated what you had said earlier - “I love you.”

Mammon pulled back a bit, trying to get a better view of your face. Now that he was calmer, he really wanted to get a good look at you. He wanted to be sure he wasn’t dreaming and that he wasn’t hallucinating. He needed to see you speak and hear those words as they left your lips.

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

And with that, he proceeded to give you the best kiss you had ever had in your life.

————

Mammon was playing with your hair as you slept curled up by his side, your head resting on his chest. Your legs were tangled together with his, and he loved how close he was able to hold you now.

Part of his mind was still convinced this was all some sort of weird fever dream. Nothing this good ever happened to him. Maybe he’d score big at a casino sometime, but that paled in comparison to being able to hold you in his arms now. You really were all his. He didn’t have to share you with anyone, and if he didn’t like how another demon looked at you, well, he would just have to kiss you right in front of them to show them who you belonged to.

That thought made him chuckle. Who you belonged to? Pfft. You didn’t belong to anyone. If anything, he belonged to you. He had since the first day you met, though it took him a long time to admit it. But look at him now. He finally got to tell you how he felt, and he didn’t have to hide it from you anymore.

“What are you thinking about?”

Mammon’s hand stilled, “Sorry, did I wake ya?”

“No, I’ve been awake for awhile now. Just enjoying the peace and quiet I guess.” You gave him a squeeze with the arm that was around his chest. This was definitely a good way to wake up, and you hoped you’d be able to spend many more moments like this together with him.

“Well, I should probably head back to my room. It’ll be time for breakfast soon and the last thing I need is Lucifer’s naggin’ first thing in the morning.”

You whined and buried your face into his chest. You weren’t ready for him to leave yet.

Seeing you like that made Mammon impossibly happy. How could you be so cute? It shouldn’t be allowed. You shouldn’t be able to make him feel this loved just by clinging to him either.

You whined again, realizing that he was right. And as much as you wanted for this moment to continue and to never have to leave this bed again, there were still some questions that had to be answered before he left, and you realized you couldn’t avoid them any longer.

“So umm...about yesterday…”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Do you...umm…What do you intend to tell your friends?”

“My friends? Tell ‘em about what?”

“Me.”

Oh. Right. He forgot about that. Or more like he tried to forget. It had been sitting at the back of his mind since he woke up and realized he needed to go to school today. He had seriously considered just running off with you and trying to convince you that today was the perfect day for a trip, just to avoid having to deal with it.

Nothing had really been resolved yesterday. He knew that. After he kissed you, the two of you had just crawled into bed together to cuddle with some random movie playing in the background. The idea had been to watch the movie together, but all y’all had ended up doing was giggling and kissing and being generally silly, until you fell asleep in each other’s arms.

“Mammon?”

His silence was making you nervous, so you propped yourself up to get a better look at him. It was too dark to make out any details of his expression, but you could tell that he was lost in thought and not really looking at you.

“Mammon?”, you called his name again, and this time he responded by giving you a gentle squeeze with the arm that had settled around your shoulder.

“Do we really need to tell them anythin’? I mean, it’s not like they are really my friends ya know? Just some demons I hang around with at RAD.”

You may have been a bit drowsy earlier, but now you were wide awake. You sat up so your legs were hanging over the edge of the bed, with your back to Mammon. You were so foolish. So incredibly foolish. Why oh why did you not stick to your guns and push him away when you had the chance yesterday? How could you be so stupid as to actually confess to him? Hadn’t you been trying to create some distance?

It didn’t matter how deeply you loved each other. That wouldn’t change the fact that Mammon cared a great deal about how he was perceived by others. It didn’t matter if those people (or demons) would never see him again. He could tell you all day about how little those not-really-friends of his meant to him, but when it came down to it he still cared about what they thought and feared their rejection.

And you knew this about him. For all his passion and kindness and sincerity - he was only ever like that around you, when you were alone. And that wasn’t going to change anytime soon, and it wasn’t fair of you to expect him to change for you either.

“Babe? Ya alright?”

Mammon was sitting up now too, and had wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, placing one leg on either side of you so that you were essentially sitting in his lap. He kissed the back of your neck, and gave you a moment to reply.

He knew what was coming though. You knew him better than anyone. And he was painfully aware of this glaring personality flaw of his that was getting in the way of your relationship ever going forward.

You would never ask him to change, that wasn’t the sort of person you were. But you also realized that there wasn’t a future for you and Mammon, a future of any kind, if you couldn’t live your life openly and had to try to hide, minimize, or even flat out deny your relationship a good deal of the time. Or worse, listen to him deny he even cared.

Mammon rested his forehead against the back of your shoulder. I guess that’s it, he thought to himself. He had true happiness within his sight, and then messed it up like he always messed up everything. What he wouldn’t give to be able to change this about himself. Or for him to be anyone else, really. Someone that wasn’t a total waste of space that could actually make you happy and give you everything you deserved.

There wasn’t anything else to say at this point, so Mammon planted one last kiss to the back of your head, breathing in your scent and trying to commit it to memory, before slipping out of bed and finally returning to his room.

————

Today had sucked. Really and truly sucked. The morning had started off with so much promise, but that was all over before breakfast had even begun.

Despite the fact that you and Mammon had finally made your feelings known to each other, both of you realized that being in an actual relationship would be impossible. You just wanted different things, and these weren’t things that he was able to give you.

You heaved a sigh and rested your forehead on your desk. Why couldn’t today be over already? Or maybe the floor could just swallow you up? That could work too, you thought.

The ear splitting screech of static jarred you out of your thoughts. Your hands flew to your ears as you sat bolt upright, looking around the room for the source of this hellish noise.

“Hey hey, is this thing on? It’s on right?”

“Yes it’s on you idiot! Everyone can hear you!”

Mammon…? And...Levi…? The screech of the speakers had finally stopped, and instead the sound of their bickering filled the halls. What on earth could these two possibly be doing? Why was Levi even at RAD in the first place? He was heading to his room to work on his online classes when you left this morning.

“Oi! Listen up! Consider this an official RAD announcement from The Great Mammon!”

You could hear Levi groan in the background as Mammon carried on with the theatrics. You still hadn’t figured out what they were up to, but you knew it wasn’t “Lucifer approved” that’s for sure.

“MC, I hope ya listen’ ‘cause I’m only goin’ ta say this once!”

All the eyes in your classroom were now focused on you, and you blushed furiously under the scrutiny. What the everloving hell did Mammon think he was doing? Didn’t you say all you needed to say this morning? What could he possibly want at this point?

“I love ya. Ya hear that? The Great Mammon loves ya.”

————

You weren’t even sure at what point you had stood up or left your classroom, but you were now tearing through the halls trying to find the source of the magically amplified speaker that filled every square inch of the RAD campus with the sounds of Mammon’s love confession.

It wasn’t like they had a traditional speaker system hooked up to a switchboard. If they did, you would have just made a beeline for that. But now you had to find where Mammon and Levi had decided to hide to keep Lucifer from finding them long enough for Mammon to complete his speech.

You didn’t have to search for long though, because you soon heard the sound of Lucifer’s voice echoing through the halls as well. He had found Mammon, and was putting an end to this. With Lucifer on the scene though, you knew that meant your odds of finding Mammon had shot up exponentially. He’d probably haul the pair of mischievous demons to the student council room, so you started running in that direction as fast as your legs could carry you.

As you rounded one final corner, you skidded to a halt, watching Lucifer dragging Mammon along, while Mammon tried to convince his brother to go easy on him.

“Mammon!” you yelled.

He and Lucifer both turned to face you, equally shocked to see you there at the end of the hall, panting heavily as you tried to catch your breath. Soon you were running again, tears streaming down your face as you were overcome with emotion at finally having found him. As if you had done this hundreds of times before, Mammon opened his arms to you and you all but leapt into them, wrapping your arms around his neck and squeezing him as tight as you possibly could.

“I love you,” you choked out in between ragged breaths and sobs, “so much.”

“I know. I love ya too. You don’t hafta worry. No more hidin’. Now everyone knows I belong to you and that you’re mine.”

#gn!mc #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #mammon x mc #obey me fanfic #mammon fanfic #obey me fluff #mammon fluff

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nanakah · 4 years ago

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about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

#kaguya-sama #kaguya-sama spoilers #meta #ishigami yu #yu ishigami #ishimiko #it's ishigami focused but i'd be a dirty liar to say i'm not at least a lil bit biased #longpost #spoilers #yes i am an overthinker and overanalyzer did u notice #horimiya spoilers #yeah i kinda mentioned miyamura lol #i'm not even procrastinating anything this time i just rly care for them #kaguya-sama meta #this is a clown here that procrastinated 3 months to write a thesis but is churning out meta after meta for manga #plz forgive typos i'm still lazy to spellcheck this one lol #ishiino #ishigami using ore again to invite miko to the dance makes this post qualify for fridge brilliance now

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onlyhereforangst · 4 years ago

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WWR

Ok y’all if you thought 18x05 was long, you in for a trip. Get ready for lots of caps, lots of not PG-13, and lots of overanalysis. I hope this lives up to the hype since it took me forever and a day (literally almost every minute of the 20 minutes of scenes took practically an hour to breakdown, I have a problem I know). Anyways, let’s get sweaty under the cut because the day ain’t young no more 👇🏼

Their bickering in the car but Nick smiling the whole time is a huge married vibe but also he’s so happy she’s alive and will take any shit she gives him vibe and I’m here for it. Pluuuuus Ellie avoiding nicks question about the phone call 😭 he’s so freaking concerned for her (he’s been through his own version of PTSD), his voice drops all the teasing and he actually opens up a little bit - really wants to make sure she’s ok. He needs to be there for her and ugh poor Ellie, those walls are going back up after that hug- a momentary lapse in her usual self. She’s so far outside of her comfort zone talking about feelings and weaknesses and she immediately deflects. Nick respecting that deflection is also huge growth for him, knows it’s not ok to push through like a person like him would normally do and force her hand. He knows she needs space but also clearly ready to be that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it.

His joke about notable mustaches only to be the butt of the joke about using the word notable later is hiiiiiilarious.

Her comment about Zillow 😂 um excuse me ellie you looking for houses and to settle down 👀 but then(!!) Nick pushes her down the stairs first when shots start, getting her out of harm’s way and putting himself in danger like he always does my heart 😩 like he’s still on the stairs by the time she’s in a cell “safe.” And side note damn they are good shots, oof.

The toilet bowl scene is easily one of my favorites. Nick freaking out over Ellie moving hers and him not being able to had me DYING. Like legit cackling over his worry she’s suddenly way stronger than him 🤣🤣 and then he gets SO pissed they took their car hahaha like so mad he hugs the damn wall in frustration. But then he claims he’ll rip out the bars of the window (you know, to make up for not being able to move his toilet and still prove he’s macho) and Ellie’s comment about superhuman strength & his agreement LOL. His anxiety level of being trapped and more so Ellie being trapped is getting to him already. He is reaching for any possible way to get them (read: her) out of there safely it doesn’t matter that the plan sounds outrageous. Cue him moving back to pissed and breaking the toilet with his damn foot like 🥵 we get you strong Nick but no need to show off. Hot damn. His “I really think we’re stuck in here” after that IDK why but had be laughing again. I’m pretty sure I said “no shit Sherlock” at my TV watching live because thank you Captain Obvious.

Aaaaaand then when she pauses and finds the bomb bricks but goes so quiet oooooof he’s on high alert. You can practically hear his heart pounding and then he goes and starts panicking slightly when she doesn’t respond with our first use of a first name, “Ellie we have a wall between us, what is it?” But his tone is so frantic and his eyes are darting around putting the whole picture together and my heart aches for him. He’s starting to realize just how helpless he is to save her. The exact thing he likely swore he’d set out to never let happen again (Ellie in danger) after last episode, is happening again. And this time, it’s not like he can go hunt the guys down, he’s quite literally stuck. Helpless with no way out. Aaand here’s where Nick starts to lose his patience. Pissed at himself for not saving her before, not being able to save her now. Pissed at everything. He cannot comprehend how she is in this situation AGAIN and he can do nothing. But oh lord, he doesn’t even realize it’s about to get worse...

Him brooding over this crappy situation in a corner and being the cautious one is so unlike him (but also so telling as to how unnerved he is by her being in danger once again and not wanting to do anything to make it worse) and Ellie calls him on being “so careful, cowboy” and hot damn again she really does like a man in uniform doesn’t she??? 👀🔥 and she not picky on the type of uniform either 😏 but Nick immediately deflects because he’s not *quite* ready to talk feelings so let’s get down to business about counting bullets BUT the second Ellie starts to worry again he goes into hyperdrive protective and caring boyfriend partner. Without hesitation he tells her they’re going to figure it out because goddamnit he HAS to figure this out for her. He can’t fail, again. And he’s so so SO worried about her & her mental health right now and I sincerely love it. I know Ellie doesn’t want to have that conversation but I stan (I can’t believe I’m using that word, I’m not hip enough for that word) an empathetic boyfriend who supports their significant other when facing mental health issues (like PTSD in Ellie’s case) ❤️❤️❤️ Nick breaks my heart, he wants to be there for her- wants to be the one she feels comfortable enough to open up to and he just gets so dejected when she rejects his probing again (but I don’t blame her, it’s *hard* to open up about these difficult topics), his body language slumped over the bars and tone is just so defeated even if he tries to snap back into his usual Torres self (newsflash it ain’t working bruv because she’s not totally wrong in calling you hovery). Yet naturally he gets annoyed because he JUST CARES ELLIE DAMMIT LET HIM CARE. Like you go through this entire list of him trying to protect you from everything that could go wrong because HE CARES. HE WAS TERRIFIED HE LOST YOU ELLIE. HE TRULY THOUGHT HE’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN. NEVER TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU. HE CARES. AND HE CANT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN. HE LITERALLY WANTS TO SAVE YOU (his own words because god damn this show plays with my emotions 😭😭) FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED AND HAVING TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF A PLANE RIGGED TO BLOW. Ok done with yelling for now but man this part gets me. The implications are so important even over trivial stuff. He felt helpless and Nick Torres cannot do helpless, so he tries do to everything else in his power to keep her away from any danger no matter how little it seems. Even hot coffee is too much for his precious babe and while he knows she’s not some delicate, fragile flower- he knows she can hold her own (& has called her a badass as proof), his heart can’t possibly take another explosion on an airstrip. Even if that airstrip is something like a burnt tongue. Ok I die now 😩😩😩

But let’s come back to living because this bullshit Nick “I always tell you what’s going on with me...you ask I tell you” exCUSE ME. Is this the same man who claimed he was being overprotective and that Ellie was like a sister to him?!???!! Yeah, I call bullSHIT that you tell Ellie what’s going on with you. (And Ellie calls BS too, btw buddy).

But when Ellie finally decides to open a little I love it. I think she finally understood at least just a bit that he just, simply cares about her & her well-being. So she gives him a tiny taste of what she’s going through. And god Nick’s face when he understands the gravity of what she’s having to face mentally. Like I know he knew but I don’t think he knew just how bad. And you can just see that hatred towards his perceived failure turning inward once again as the mood shifts in these cells to somber. Plus Ellies last comment here with them *needing* to find a way out of there- girrrrrrrl poor baby girl 😭 she’s struggling so hard right now and trying so hard to not let it show and not let it get to her but you know she’s terrified. You know she’s desperately triggered. UGH Ellie 💔💔

We cut to Ellie desperately trying to figure out a solution to getting the fuck outta there and once again my heart aches for her triggered self. Nick seems desolate and frustrated, shutting down slowly as it seems less and less likely they’ll get out. Buuuuut then the GUM. Ahahahahahah Ellieeeeeee how do you know about that last piece of gum for “breath emergencies”??? AHHHH this man’s jeans are so damn tight (& yes trust me I would know, I observe) but like also you staring at a spot on said tight jeans that’s only maybe five inches from a different outline 👀👀👀 GIRL I FEEL YOUUUU. GET. IT. Plus she knows exactly what he calls it and I freaking love that. His excuse for why he has to save it is also hilarious 🤣 his breath emergency later hmmm doubt you wanted to save it to MacGyver something Nick sooooo you got another thing in mind?? 😏 and then LMAO it’s mushy because his pants are sweaty I’m rolllllling. Your pants too tight Nick? (this is not humanly possible btw) ALSO is this why later Ellie says she expected Nick to be more sweaty??? If it is and now rewatching I kind of feel like it is, omg what a great callback on her part 🤣🤣

Nick trying to coach her on the proper way of opening the cell door is hilarious because bitch which one of you was able to move their toilet Nick 👀😂 but oh damn now it’s when shit goes downhill fast.

Nick not being able to see anything and his frantic questioning is amazing compared to Ellies absolute panic realizing she is once again facing down a bomb. I feel like her calming breaths are a coping technique Jack has been helping her with but man kill me now, Nick’s face?? When he realizes what he thought was helplessness earlier has just shot yo exponentially??? Oof with a capital O. This poor man needs a damn drink and yet all he can have is a club soda boy I *feel you* on that (side note #letsgetthisbabyoutmybellyasap). His woman has gone and gotten herself into another bomb encounter for the second time in a week. And he CANT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Can you imagine the absolute inner (and outer, give it a sec) freak out he’s having?? He wants to save her from hot coffee for Christ’s sake and now he can’t save her from a rigged bomb. Talk about a shitty situation.

I just love the Torres Teachable Moment little discussion. Like Nick’s smirk gets me. I really don’t think he knew she had a name for it or realized that she caught on to what he was doing (trying to help her grow as an agent without being obvious or “degrading”). And then we move on to comparing arm length and I crack up 😂 “my arms are longer than yours” and “no they’re disproportionately short for your body” HAHAHA like what the hell have you guys been doing to know this?? Do you stand *that* close together with your arms down to know their lengths comparatively and how much do you stare at Nick, Ellie? Daaaaaaamn. From his gum to his arms to his body I see you 👀 I’m not hating tho I would too 😏 I think what I loved most about this whole jail scene (aside the ending obvs) is the quick flipping back and forth from joking & teasing to dead serious & worried. Like they’re both trying so hard to keep it above board and light- trying desperately not to think of the implications of what’s happening but then (usually Nick) those intrusive thoughts sneak through and he can’t help but redirect them back to serious. It shows their inner warrings with themselves and just how hard this is for both of them. How much they want to appear strong and unflappable but they both know deep down the whole situation is eating away at them. And Nick bringing up her standing on a bomb only moments before he tells her he’s going to shoot the wall- OOF. Ellie’s genuine terror for him injuring himself and her then not being able to do a damn thing about it because she’s standing on a FREAKING BOMB is so painful to watch. Like she’s stuttering she can’t get it out fast enough, she needs to stop him, she can’t fathom him getting hurt while she’s helpless (uh, hello there theme of the episode how have you been). Nick’s facial expressions through this scene are also so telling. He goes from “this isn’t a big deal” to “oh shit she’s panicking” to “holy shit is she going to open up, is she really talking about this” to “fuck it’s my fault she had to go through that and it’s tearing me up inside every second” to “hooooooly fuck is she about to say what I think she’s about to say?? Is she about to confirm what I know deep inside but am too afraid to say aloud?? Is it true??” And ELLIE OH ELLIE. Reliving that *has* to be hard, has to. To finally bring it up after she’s been dodging it all damn day...you know the thought of him getting seriously injured had her more than rattled. And she cracks open those cement walls around her heart so briefly, the glimpse in it provides I think a turning point for Nick. Finally seeing that it’s not just him, she’s in deep too. Even if she can’t say it, can’t say she was fighting to see him again 😩💔 he knows. She says he only has one bullet left and to save it and they’ll figure some other way with tears in her eyes my HEART. But Nick gets it. Nick gets it because he’s been in the exact same situation. His eyes as they process the implication of her words and the fear for his life running through them 🥺 his simple “ok” is so unlike his normal self, you just know he’s once again doing anything and everything he can for. Even if that means standing down and not fighting for his way (the natural instinct for him). He knows what she needs is reassurance he won’t accidentally shoot himself. So he does it 😭 But him pacing (as a man of action suddenly faced with forced inaction) & Ellie begging for an inventory over and over (a woman of logics and data faced with PTSD) is so painful. You can tell they’re both struggling and neither wants to admit it but also they both need to do something - for Nick that becomes finally deciding to shoot a foothold in the wall and for Ellie that meant trying to go over their facts again and again but suddenly she’s once again terrified Nick is going to injure himself. The one man she fought to see again might hurt or even kill himself and she can’t do a damn thing because she’s standing on a bomb for fuck’s sake. Aaaaaaand cue the blow up. Cue Nick voicing his worst fears of Ellie accidentally triggering the bomb. Cue Ellie getting defensive because she’s so damn used to be babied and treated like she can’t take care of herself. Cue the “overprotective hovery man crap” line that had me rolling on the floor (tbt ROFL). Cue Ellie calling herself a girl but Nick calling her a woman like DAMN get me where it hurts Nick- that right there is a man who respects the living hell out of this fiiiiiiine representation of a woman in front of him 🔥. Cue Ellie saying because I’m “me” like um FUCK YES IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YOU AND HE’S TOO SCARED OF LOSING YOU ELLIE. Cue Nick finally losing his shit and getting reeeeeealllllllll like hallelujah do you hear the church bells?! Even Ellie knows to finally pause and listen. Nick never loses it on her, never. She knows this shift is serious and it’s happening. And omg his confession can I just have a moment of silence for the GROWTH.

Thank you, it needed commemorating. The same Nick who didn’t belong to a team is the Nick that is out here claiming he can’t sit idly by while the love of his life might get blown up again. He’s NOT OKAY WITH THAT AND NEITHER AM I. NOT AFTER THIS GODDAMN SCENE. His head bob accentuating just- how- important this is to him is so in character (thank you Wilmer) and theeeeeeen shoot me the way he has to fucking collect himself from almost crying. The emotion- there just aren’t words. Literally he has to look up to the sky and blink back those tears you know are threatening to fall at the thought of the woman who he still *technically* hasn’t told that he loves her could potentially die, again, for the second time in a week. So guess the hell what? He’s telling her (sort of). He’s telling her he would do anything, anything, put himself in danger’s way if it meant there was even the tiniest chance it would save her. Pardon the callback but- HE WOULD RISK HIS LIFE TO SAVE HERS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER ELLIE. YOU SAID I KNOW. DO YOU KNOW NOW. DO YOU. BECAUSE GOOD LORD CAN YOU MARRY THIS MAN ALREADY BEFORE I DIVORCE MY HUSBAND AND DO IT (jk love you honey 😘). But like damn, she knows it now. That look- she bites her lip and has tears in her own eyes at the realness she can feel even through a cement block wall. It’s a feeling she’s not used to. She isn’t used to being a person someone would literally risk death for. She doesn’t think she deserves it (sip on that like whiskey, mull it over, let it sink in & cry about it). Even if she knows she doesn’t need saving (and so does Nick), she finally realizes it isn’t about that. It isn’t about he feels like she can’t do it. It’s about the overwhelming pull that your life isn’t greater than the one you love. That love, real true love, is knowing you would do anything for that other person (and they the same) because the world would be worse off without them in it. And Nick will never be okay with a world without Ellie. Never. Their joint quiet after his confession is so powerful. There’s no claims of falsehood, there’s no trying to quip back at him, there’s no trying to stop him. It just settles into the room- into their hearts. They’ve crossed a line and it means so, so much. Nick can feel a weight lifted off his shoulders as he loads his gun and gets ready and Ellie can feel a weight settle on hers from the need to reciprocate. And not out of pity, it would be out of truth. But she knows it isn’t the right time. She knows she has to do it, and she will. She held back earlier when she couldn’t say she was fighting for Nick, but his outburst and confession gave her the courage in this scene. She finally has confirmation she means to him like he means to her. And she has to know, she has to know if he means it or if it was heat of the moment so when the dust settles she inquires, “what’s going on over there?” A pulse check. A way of asking without asking—did you mean that? And the shock of confirmation of her face as Nick, dead as a doornail serious says, “close calls make you live harder”….holy hell. That’s the moment it snaps for her, everything snaps into place—the agony he’s gone through not only this week, but the past couple years of close calls. He’s done beating around the bush, he’s living harder, he’s going all in, he’s getting what he wants. He refuses to let anything like a damn jail cell rigged to blow stand in his way. And she knows, she knows just how important she is to him. He might not have said those three words, but that phrase- that phrase was a direct window into Nick Torres’ soul. And by god I love it.

But Nick pulling a prank on Ellie like that is also so Nick- the little shit. The genuine concern in her voice when she yells his name 😭 like dude, her worst fear, something causing ongoing trauma in her head right now is the ONE THING you decide to tease her with??? I should expect nothing less but damn that’s low 😂 her checking on his status update with Gibbs though feels like such a role reversal from earlier and it cracks me up, side note.

When they’re getting ready to stand down the returning brother and Nick gets in position next to the wall but can’t even look ahead- he’s just staring at Ellie, oof. In that moment he’s brutally and painfully aware she can’t hide for cover. Not only can she not hide, he can’t cover her because he’s (locked in a cell but also) out of bullets. He’s once again near helpless and the woman he loves (and has now finally kind of told) is a sitting duck. Someone get this poor man a damn club soda, I repeat.

And the little talk between the two parties- I love that Ellie takes point. Love that Nick lets her. Like damn that’s a supportive partner right there and I 👏🏼 AM 👏🏼 HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 IT. He knows she can handle this shit and he will willingly let her. But nooooooowwwww weee gettinggggg to the goooooood paaaaaaart.

Ok first, “good to see you” - this man has missed her face. Straight up dying to see her in the flesh. Just listening to her voice and not seeing the emotions written on her face is not enough. Seeing her alive, smiling at him, he needed it. But of course, let’s keep it light, act natural Nicholas.

“I thought you’d be sweatier” - excUUUUSE ME ELLIE. Not only did you just call out his reference to his sweaty jeans earlier, you also WANT TO SEE HIM SWEATY DON’T YOU. THAT SMIRK SAYS YES DON’T LIE. And honestly, I don’t blame you shhhhh.

“The day is young” - can I get another excUUUUSE ME NICK. Words- they don’t- function. Because that knowing smile of hers- SHE’S OKAY WITH IT. GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER YOU TWO THERE’S A HOMICIDAL MAN UPSTAIRS. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO GET SWEATY TOGETHER TONIGHT YOU HEAR ME. THAT DAY IS YOUNG AND SO ARE YOU SO GET THOSE BRICKS AND THEN YOU CAN GET TO BANGING LATER. I just fucking can’t with their smirks. I can’t. This isn’t the normal banter, this is the fuck me banter and I’m okay with it. Because right after the I-wanna-get-in-your-sweaty-jeans banter we have Ellie putting her HAND ON HIS GD HIP AS HE PASSES ONLY TO MOVE UP TO BOTH SHOULDERS. AND THEEEEEEEN HOLY HELL SOMEONE LIGHT A MATCH BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM SEXUAL TENSION. Is it possible to rewatch this scene a thousand times in slo-mo and still not have watched it enough? Because that is me. That will always be me. How are they so in tandem, so in sync as they look up mere inches from each other- directly into the other’s eyes knowing exactly how serious this situation is and yet pausing to freaking gaze longingly (read: have eye sex) at each other. And I’m sorry Nick looks down at her lips like three times??? For a good while too?? Sir nothing you said required you to look there. nothing. And also there’s no way his hands aren’t on her I thiiiiiiink they’re on her upper arms (based on the last shot as he’s walking to get the bricks) but like hold her tight Nick please. Also while Ellie doesn’t look at his lips (in this scene) holy shit those are some come-hither eyes if I’ve ever seen them. “I’m sure” ABOUT YOU. SHE’S SURE ABOUT YOU NICK. SHE’S SURE SHE’S READY TO GET SWEATY WITH YOU NICK. Like literally, this girl had been leaning up against the cement wall for a looooong time before he has to pass her and now, NOW that Nick has to pass her- SHE STANDS UP TALL. TO GIVE HIM NO SPACE. WHILE SHE’S STANDING ON A BOMB. BITCH YOU WANTED IT. That was a damn power move Ellie and I am not mad about it. She so easily could have leaned back, given him a ton of space to get around, but nooooooo she stands right there, middle of the tight opening and says yes Nick come get 1mm from my face, touch me here, touch me there, touch me everywhere don’t care 👀 while you pass. I’m sure I’m okay with it because you’ve just eye fucked me and it’s exactly what I wanted. And I mean come oooooooon just the underlying emotion behind both of their words. Nick isn’t just asking if she won’t move her foot- it’s his way of asking if she’s ok and she looks SO much better, more relaxed now that he’s with her. The tense, anxiety-ridden Ellie that was asking for inventory or snapping about him being overprotective, is now at ease despite still standing on said bomb- all because Nick is right there with her and if that doesn’t make you 🥺😭 I don’t know what will. Like she can’t even take her eyes off of him even after rude brother interrupts this gold moment of theirs until Nick has already completely turned his head towards the dude. She’s just so relieved to see him standing there, so close to her, feeling his warmth underneath her hands again.

Side note to prove my earlier point, when Nick casually reaches through to throw the bags of bricks through the door Ellie is leaning on the wall and THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM. HE COULD HAVE EASILY PASSED.

Nick looks like he literally wants to murder the guy, enraged that he’s the one who put Ellie in this situation again. We would’ve seen swan!Nick if it wasn’t for Ellie choosing this moment to finally share her feelings. Because remember- she’d decided she was going to reciprocate but knew it wouldn’t come off the right way before. Now’s the time. Now when the immediate threat to their lives is gone (excluding bomb of course). Now when they’re alone, they’re together, and she can look him in the eye so he knows she’s serious. He can read the truth in her eyes rather than doubt her words said across a jail cell wall.

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you” - well damn that got your attention didn’t it Nick??? So used to putting Ellie first, putting yourself second its weird to hear it come from someone else isn’t it? That someone is worried for your safety? That someone needs you living and breathing just as much as you need them doing the same? His eyes immediately change from Imma kill this man to did I just hear this woman right.

“I’m not okay with you getting blown up either” - first off, the parallelism is what makes this absolute *chef’s kiss* because Nick has literally zero chance of being blown up if he runs after this dude. Shot? Yes. But blown up? No. Ellie has chosen these words precisely to call back to what Nick said earlier. To make sure he’s aware she understood the weight of his earlier confession and is making the same one. They are on equal footing- their feelings are not only reciprocated but just as strong as the other. She could’ve said anything else but choosing his exact words was so poignant in the moment. It’s like the difference between saying “I love you” & “I love you too” compared to “I love you” & “I really care about you.” And the way she says it with such confidence, she isn’t playing around, she didn’t even *have* to bring up their previous conversation, she’s got determination etched across her face with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She means this, and it’s dying to bust out of her. And so the shock to Nick’s system is quite frankly understandable. This is Ellie - someone who hours ago didn’t even want to tell him who she was trying to make a phone call to. Ellie who has walls the size of Mt. Everest erected around her heart. Ellie who could have brushed off his earlier comments said from the safety of a cement wall between them. But no. This Ellie is all-in, she’s ready to own up to her side. She’s ready to lay it on the line just like him. Equal footing. If Nick is ready to jump, then so is she. And he’s just so taken aback- glancing at her lips, blinking through the shock as he processes. Processes the weight of her words on their relationship. He knows he could laugh it off, make a joke about his superhuman strength not allowing him to get blown up, or he could man up and take them both forward. Ellie doesn’t even flinch under his stare, if anything she becomes more confident, more resolute in her words and her stance. Her eyes searching his for what his reaction will be and for a brief moment I swear there’s a tiny bit of worry, a tiny bit of unease that he wasn’t ready for her to repeat his words back to him.

“Well, what are we gonna do about that?” Oh YOU HEARD. That smirrrrrrrrk Nicholas stop iiiiiit, Eleanor’s standing on a bomb you don’t need to light her on fire!! Because this is a challenge, a goddamn challenge. Staring straight into her soul saying, “oh you want me and I want you? How about we blow this popsicle stand and go get fucking sweaty ok? Because that’s what I want to do about that 👀🔥🔥🔥” and not only is the smirk sexy as hell but it’s also got this glint of elation. Like he could not be happier she said those words back to him. That he finally took Ziva’s advice, wasn’t a wuss and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT PAID OFF. But his words also tell of a little nervousness. And not necessarily in a bad way, more as in a leaving it to her way. Putting her in the driver’s seat of this relationship knowing it’s where she’ll feel most comfortable. Given all she’s been through, like all of it not just the past week, he knows that she needs to be in control of how fast they move. And once again his chivalry and thoughtfulness of her is just- I cry. He doesn’t just assault her with what they should do next, he leaves it for her to decide. For her to weigh in on how far and how fast she wants to take them. And by the little shy smile Ellie gives him- she knows what he means. She knows her words have hit their mark and that he respects her enough to let her lead the way. And now she has to make her decision, a decision we DON’T GET TO SEE BUT I’M NOT BITTER IT’S FINE. But a decision nonetheless.

I honestly go two ways on this- the most obvious of hell yes they kissed right then and there and started *something* and then the bitter realistic one of they were probably interrupted by Gibbs (who was literally outside like right then based on timing) but also may have just continued to stare into each other’s eyes- still slightly taken aback by everything they just shared and what it means for them. Still unsure of how they “work” as people who *love* each other, not just partners. Having that reality sink in as they continue to face off and wait for a rescuer. That reality sinking in could lead to obviously very good things (that we better see on our screen or I will fucking riot) or a slight nervous closing-off. Like not quite closed off closed off, but a tiny retreat when the gravity of the day falls down on both of them. I don’t think either will believe they only said what they did because of the situation/moment they were in, but it’s still a lot to deal with after all is said and done. I sincerely hope they unpack this in the coming episodes and give us some direction of what happened after that jail cell scene.

I love the Torres told McGee about what happened today and I’m so curious about how much detail he told him lol but I also love that McGee has now received genuinely good advice from Torres twice now (the one about the reunion and now this). Just goes to show you the brotherly bond they have ❤️ but also that the advice was the same advice he literally lived out that day. Close calls make you live harder, almost as an affirmation to himself (Nick about what happened), but as something he knew McGee needed to hear too- they all do.

And then this bullpen scene - one, how far of a time jump is this and whyyyyyyy won’t they telllll meeeeee. They hate me. Two, Ellie coming over so close just to hand off a file that he doesn’t even look at 👀 three, THEIR SMIRKS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN. Because Nick is holding back the world’s biggest smile as Ellie gets close to him and Ellie is just all nonchalantly checking him out with a brief eye-sex scene. Like damn this fine man doesn’t want me to blow up and I don’t want him to blow up either 🔥 Now does this mean they absolutely got together and did the nasty after they got out of that cell? Of course not. We can only dream, and write fics. This ending scene is very reminiscent of what NCIS loves to do with their power of open-ended persuasion at the end of an ep, see On Fire for example. The ending music and comments combined with the shot of Gibbs leaving in the elevator is literally there to try and persuade you that he killed Xavier. In this ep, the ending music and voiceover combined with their looks at each other is there to try and persuade you they totally got it oooooon. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t trust NCIS one damn bit.

All in all, cannot *wait* to see where they take ellick the rest of the season. Emily hyped this ep and man, she did NOT disappoint. Let’s see that shift that is going to ripple for the rest of the season now like Wilmer promised 🤞🏼

Oh and my only side note because this was insanely insanely long and if you’re still reading I’m proud of you for hanging in there with me & my screams into the void, send me an ask screaming back it’s ok I’ll love you for it—waaaas the whole team poking fun at Torres for using the word notable was downright hilarious. That and Gibbs trying to do everything himself, I can’t. Comedic gold. I love. I would go from dying of laughter to intense emotions so fast in this ep I got whiplash and for that, I am thankful to Gina. She always delivers 🔥

#ellick #WWR #ncis #lol this is literally a total of 6k words #what is wrong with me #don't answer that #hope y'all who stick with it enjoy 😘#18x06

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nzvalley · 4 years ago

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Rewatching some Star Trek: Enterprise

It’s been a long time since I have done one of these posts. What I kind of expected to happen did happen: once I hit season 3 and saw the network meddling, Trip/T’Pol, and the radical shift in tone of the series, it was hard to keep going. But I’m hoping to power through this season, and get to the much improved fourth season.

Just to remind anyone who is here for the first time. I’m doing a rewatch/analysis around the Archer/T’Pol friendship/partnership/relationship, based on my favorite episodes. I will be focusing on them, because that’s the aspect of the show in which I’m more interested.

Catch up on my previous rewatch posts here!

There will also be spoilers, not just for this episode but for the whole show.

Twilight (3x08)

Even though this is easily the shippiest episode for Archer/T’Pol, this isn’t one I automatically turn on when I’m doing a rewatch.

In part, it’s just too sad to rewatch frequently. Partly because it gets total forgotten with no impact on canon. It’s also just an annoying reminder of when the show and these characters were in a much better place.

However, it’s a really great episode overall and for Archer/T’Pol. It reminds the audience of how devoted T’Pol is to Archer specifically, calling back to T’Pol’s speech to Archer before following him into the Expanse. It feels out of place to the rest of the season, like it could have been written before the network mandates.

Just next episode (“Similitude”) we get a T/T’P plot that is equally a standout episode, but which is fully in everybody’s memories and has lasting impacts on the season. This contrast illustrates the suddenly differing priorities of this season.

Up until now, it’s worth reminding, the backbone of the show was how the relationship between Archer and T’Pol (and Shran!) shaped the formation of the Federation. But even in the worst of times, there seems to be a contingent in the writers room who still felt as strongly about Archer/T’Pol as they did in the first two seasons.

The start hooks you in immediately, with Archer’s confusion mirroring our own. Archer stumbles (shirtless!) into Captain T’Pol’s bridge. Seeing T’Pol commanding in her own right is so cool.

After the frantic and engaging teaser, we get a massive time jump. A gray-haired Archer wakes and makes his way through a home he doesn’t remember. He finds a devoted… caretaker… whose effort he can’t fully appreciate yet.

The altered dynamic immediately apparent between Archer and T’Pol, and the obvious changes in her look and demeanor, set the tone for the rest of the episode. Jolene Blalock is amazing as usual. She can play any version of T’Pol. There are great performances throughout, especially by Jolene and Scott.

Pretty much everything in this episode, barring the initial crisis itself and T’Pol’s accident, aren’t canon. As far as I can tell, not even the main two remember the alternate timeline, except maybe on an unconscious level. It’s one of those stories that gets completely stricken from the record, which is why it’s hard to fully appreciate.

Archer saving T’Pol at his own expense reminds the audience of how much he cares. Although it gets erased T’Pol repays that sacrifice in turn, devoting her life to his care.

Phlox’s dedication to finding a cure for Archer, and his overall concern, is another aspect of this episode that’s awesome. For me, the trio of Arhcer/T’Pol/Phlox was always the most interesting.

This episode shows one nearly concrete future where the Xindi win, showing how fragile the mission remains. The slow reveal of how complete the Xindi victory was, and the fragility of their settlement, is nice. This storyline was ahead of its time. Just a few years later BSG told a similar story, though much better and in a much-expanded manner.

Jolene does a good job, but has to explain so much story in so little time. This story seems like it should have been given more time to breathe, like it should’ve played out over 3 or 4 episodes. At least one more!’

T’Pol and Soval always have great scenes.

T’Pol: I won’t leave them. Soval: Them? Or Him?

T’Pol reiterates her choice of Archer and the humans over her own species, much as she did when initially choosing to join the mission to the Expanse.

T’Pol reveals she knows Archer’s deepest secrets now, even the proposal that was rejected because Margaret Mullen didn’t want to become a Starfleet widow. Has T’Pol made herself into a kind of Starfleet widow?

“Our relationship has… evolved over the years.”

Future Phlox is looking sharp. T’Pol’s hope about the treatment shines through.

Captain Tucker! Malcolm’s goatee!

Given the seeming romantic bias of the writer, it’s not all that surprising Trip/T’Pol sours pretty quickly in this timeline. Not only did T’pol and Trip’s dalliance fall apart, but they have seemingly stayed apart for years. T’Pol and her concern continues to follow Archer.

I may have missed similar instances before, but T’Pol’s casual, intimate, comforting touch in private is so cute. And a great visual indicator of how much T’Pol has grown. Archer seems on the verge of broaching the topic of the intimacy when he starts, “If this works…”

T’Pol once again turns down a chance to leave Archer’s side, even after he has seemingly healed.

Phlox: I understand I may have a passenger on my voyage home T’Pol: I’m remaining at the settlement for the time being. He may need my help during his recovery. Phlox: Have you told the Captain how you feel about him? It’s obvious you’ve become quite attached.

The blitz of exposition from Phlox and T’Pol to Trip about changing the past… there’s just so much going on in this episode. This story needed at least one more episode… Or maybe this could have been the plot to an Enterprise movie. Which still could work, given that the narrative necessitates the actors be older for most of it.

General Shran!

The bridge is gone. There are so many intense and devastating moments here… and then it all gets totally erased! Ugh.

Archer remains self-sacrificing to the end, deciding to just blow himself up if that’ll destroy the parasites. Ultimately saving the timeline through the same impulse that set it astray in the first place. He tries to get Phlox and T’Pol to save themselves, but they remain as steadfastly loyal as they have ever been. I love these three so much!

All three die carrying through the mission to the end. Phlox, then T’Pol, then Archer. Archer and T’Pol fall together and are laying together when this timeline comes to and end. The closest the ship ever came to being canon… and poof it’s gone.

There’s a tag at the end that’s real, with T’Pol admonishing Archer that he should have left her in the hallway accident that initially debilitated him. This calls back to her similar claim after her experiences on the Selaya. Archer, who has been isolating himself and becoming more ruthless, reverts back to his old self when it comes to T’Pol.

T’Pol: You could have been seriously injured. I told you to leave me behind. Archer: Fortunately, I don’t take orders from you. T’Pol: I believe you wanted to see this? Archer: Rosemary’s Baby? T’Pol: You were obviously looking forward to it. And since you’re not going to be able to attend tonight… Archer: Thanks.

T’Pol is always there for her Captain, whatever the situation! But the second half of the scene kind of ruins the sentiment. For as good as the rest of the episode is, this end scene is muddled in terms of what tone the writer was going for. I don’t think the actors quite got it either. It seems like Archer repays T’Pol’s kindness by being a brat. And when he drops a ‘nurse’ line… do they remember on some level? Or was that just for the audience? Either way, it’s a weirdly comedic end to a heart-wrenching and emotional episode.

#Star Trek Enterprise #Enterprise #Twilight #Captain Archer #T'Pol #Jolene Blalock #scott bakula

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chaoticpuff17 · 5 years ago

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A Dangerous Game

part 10

masterlist

Hello darlings! This one goes out to @the-darkest-starr ! She was my first like and my first follow. Love this girl so much, and hope it brightens her day! This one’s for you babe!

The weeks of isolation had made her ready to climb the walls. Jin came to visit when he could, but he was still a doctor and that kept him very busy. They no longer had the excuse of her stitches to prompt a visit. This left Namjoon as her only constant companion, and she didn’t know what was worse, the isolation or the fact that she was beginning to look forward to Namjoon’s visits.

They had established a sort of routine. In the mornings Namjoon would come and have a light breakfast and tea with her bringing her new reading material, and then she’d be left alone to her own devises for the day. She’d read whatever book he had brought her and play solitaire. If she had to play another game of solitaire she was afraid she was going to lose her mind. It had gotten to the point where she was even beginning to debate throwing another vase at Namjoon, consequences be damned. And then he would return in the later evening and share late supper with her. This was her life now, every day the same, and it was driving her insane. That was the point though wasn’t it?

The isolation was a punishment, but it was also a very effective tool for breaking down the will of your opponent, and Namjoon was nothing if not a smart man. He knew exactly what he was doing. She had to give him credit for that, the sneaky bastard. That was the game though wasn’t it? It was a new game and an old game all at once. And Namjoon had one the first round. She couldn’t allow him the final victory though.

It was a waiting game now. Who could hold out longer? Namjoon unfortunately had the upper hand. He had all the resources after all. He held all the power. And she wasn’t stupid. She knew that he would only put up with her insolence so long before he took to more drastic measures. It all depended on how patient of a man Namjoon was. If she was lucky, and recent history had proven that she wasn’t, she could outlast him. He’d grow tired of her, of this game, and he’d let her go. Or maybe she’d just annoy him into killing her. It wasn’t a great plan especially considering she would much rather make it out of all of this alive, but isolation can make people do and think crazy things. And maybe Namjoon sensed that. Maybe that was why he came to her room that afternoon.

“Jagiya,” He began watching her with a smirk playing on his lips.

“What do you want?” She groaned from her position sprawled across one of the sofas with her arm thrown across her eyes, a position she’d taken out of boredom upon finishing the latest book Namjoon had brought her. “Don’t you have other things to do than to pester me?”

“It’s the weekend, jagi, and you’ve been left to your own devices all morning. I thought we might go for a stroll in the garden, but if you don’t want to…” He trailed off watching with veiled amusement as she perked up.

“The garden?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Outside? Outside this room?” Her eyes were blown wide as she gazed at him hoping beyond hope that this wasn’t some cruel trick on his part. She wouldn’t put such a trick past him, but he nodded a small smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. “You’re not shitting me are you?”

“You’ve been so good, and you’ve taken your punishment so well. I could do without the attitude, but we can work on that.” He definitely had plans to rid her of the attitude.

He could practically see the cogs turning in her head as the realization hit her, when the hope settled in. “I can leave this room. I won’t be locked in anymore?”

Namjoon couldn’t have been more pleased by her reaction. There was something so fragile and vulnerable about her in this moment, having those doe eyes focused on him filled with so much hope. And he was the one who gave her that hope. “That depends on how you behave today.” He mused. “If you behave well, I see no reason why you can’t have free reign of the house and the gardens. But if you don’t behave I have no problem keeping you here in these rooms.”

The effect of those words was almost instantaneous. Her eyes grew even more impossibly wide and her face paled at the implication. It was clear to him that her punishment had been effective. Even if she didn’t realize it, there was a shift, the smallest of change. He was wearing her down, settling her into her new role.

“Do you understand, jagi?”

She nodded quickly scrambling up and scampering to the closet in search of shoes. As much as she hated depending on him for anything, especially her freedom, she wasn’t about to give up the chance to go outside. She would be the sweetest girl in the world if it meant she was going to be released from her god forsaken house arrest.

She emerged shoes in hand and a bright smile on her face too big to conceal. The excitement of being released from her room outweighed her will to remain grumpy in the face of her captor, and in this minute she couldn’t bring herself to care even taking his hand without a fuss when he extended it to lead her out of the room.

She was practically vibrating with excitement by the time they had reached the door that would lead them outside to the garden. Freedom was just a few steps away, or at least a semblance of it was, but before she could step outside, Namjoon pulled her back, and she couldn’t help but look at him in confusion.

“This is a privilege, Y/N.” He repeated, dark eyes serious as he stared her down. “If you pull any sort of stunt today, I will lock you away for so long you will forget how the sunlight feels on your skin. There are worse prisons than your rooms, jagiya.”

The threat kept her frozen in place as she stared up at him. How could he speak such harsh words so sweetly?

“Jagi?” He prompted squeezing her hand tightly. She nodded slowly unsure of how to respond to him after that. The man was giving her whiplash. “I need words, jagi.”

“Yes, Namjoon.” She sighed impatient to get outside and put his disturbing smiling threats out of her head, at least for the moment.

“Good!” He smiled brightly dimples popping out in full force. “Let’s enjoy the garden then.”

To say that the gardens were beautiful would have been an understatement. They were gorgeous, enchanting even as they sprawled out from the house. Clearly someone had put a lot of time and effort into them. It looked like something out of a fairy land to her, but then again, she was used to cramped city apartments with rag tag parks filled with litter. This was another level entirely, and she was instantly in love.

Namjoon didn’t even protest when her hand slipped from his as she wandered further into the garden. While she was enamored with the garden, he was enamored with her. He’d never seen her this soft. Her eyes had a sparkle to them that he had yet to see as she trailed her fingers across the petals of some of the flowers almost reverently. Everything about her in this moment seemed gentle.

Her eyes wandered further into the garden as she took everything in. It was sculpted into a very traditional fashion with bridges and gazebos and what appeared to be a large koi pond further from the house all connected by a series of winding paths.

“Can we go there?” She asked her voice filled with breathless wonder as she looked out towards the koi pond.

“Of course, jagi.” He replied just as softly placing a gentle hand on her back to lead her down to the pond.

He was almost afraid that if he spoke any louder or made any sudden movements that the moment would shatter and she would return to the acid spitting hellion he had come to know. He would have to savor this more gentle version of her while he could. He knew it wouldn’t last long. She would be a fierce little hellion again before long, but he enjoyed seeing this softer side of her as well.

He had chosen because she was intriguing, because she was strong, but this was something he wanted to see from her more often. As much as he enjoyed sparring with her, her constant venom was beginning to become tiresome. Yes, she’d followed his rules, but she had done it with a bitter reluctance that didn’t sit well with him. He was a man who was used to complete obedience without question. He was lenient for now though as she was still adjusting, but his patience could only hold out for so long. But for today he would enjoy the softer side of her while it lasted.

They reached the bridge that stretched across the koi pond, and settled there. Y/N leaned over the rail to gaze down at the fish that milled about in the pond a soft smile playing on her lips. She was entranced by the fish, wishing she had brought something out to feed her with. Next time she told herself. If she played her cards right, she’d be able to go out into the gardens as much as she’d like. All the while they stood there in peaceful silence, Namjoon stood guard just to the side his attention solely focused on her.

Looking at her now, Namjoon found her to be the most lovely woman in the world. Illuminated in the afternoon light with the late summer breeze stirring her hair, Namjoon considered himself very much in love with her, and he had to congratulate himself on his catch. Summoning her to that late night meeting all those weeks ago had been on a whim, purely out of curiosity to see who he was dealing with, and now he was grateful that he had. She was a dangerous woman to have around. She was capable of tearing down the empire he had built from the ground up if he wasn’t careful. But that made their game all the more exciting. It made her all the more exciting, and once tamed she would make an exquisite queen for his empire. All that was left to do was to break her to his will.

part 11

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