#i used to drive to and from the hospital twice a day

[persephoneflouwers]

I was thinking… how big of a masterpiece Through The Dark is? Like you listen to it and it’s like a good song but if you listen to it it just make your bones tremble?

And of course Louis would cover that song for his first solo world tour. Of fucking course he would.

[maddy-ferguson]

i donated blood today #greysanatomyseason6episode6

[loveinhawkins]

Steve doesn’t notice the answering machine for several weeks.

His time is split between the hospital and donating food and clothes; and when he’s not doing that, he’s helping put up missing posters for people’s loved ones.

It’s only when both Max and Eddie are discharged that he has a moment to even catch his breath—when, half-dozing on his feet, waiting for a microwave ready meal to heat up, he notices the blinking red light in the hallway.

He feels like he’s still in a dream when he presses ‘play’, hears his mother’s voice. There’s people talking in the background, the echoing, constant chatter of a hotel lobby. She’s laughing at something someone must have said before the answering machine kicked in.

She sounds… happy.

“Steve? Steve?” The rustle of the receiver getting briefly pressed to her blouse, a muffled, “Just a minute, hon, he might still pick up.” Then, clearer: “No, you must be out. All right, Steve, it was just to let you know that we’ll be home a little sooner than we—yes, I’m telling him, what do you think I’m doing?”

Steve’s thoroughly grateful that he’s listening to a message, and no response is required—can only stand there, jaw slack, at just how light his mother’s voice is.

“A couple of work things fell through,” she continues with a breeziness that probably means several major ‘things’ went disastrously wrong, work related or otherwise. But it doesn’t sound like she cares all that much; if anything, she sounds excited.

“So I thought we could—well, I don’t know how late we’ll be, but if you’re not too hungry, we could just order some pizza, lazy dinner? Plain cheese for you, right?” The distant ring of a bell on a counter. “Steve, darling, I know we haven’t been—” She cuts herself off with a sigh that’s gone too quickly for Steve to parse.

He hasn’t ordered a plain cheese pizza since he was 12 years old. But she’s trying, he thinks. She’s trying.

“Oh, we’re just checking out. What? No, I thought you had that bag. Oh, well, just—sorry, Steve, see you tonight. Love y—”

The message ends.

In a daze, Steve replays it once, twice—it’s on the third re-listen that he hears the mechanical voice intone what date the message was left.

See you tonight.

He inhales sharply just as the microwave beeps, and then he’s out the door, leaving the food to congeal.

-

He knows the route they would have taken. Plays it backwards in his head as he drives. Can see them in his mind’s eye taking the exit that leads into Hawkins—his mom berating his dad for not using his turn signal.

He finds the road. Stops. Gets out and presses his hand to the tarmac. He can feel it under his palm, like a scar.

The gates spread, at the end.

There’s no proof, nothing he can point to and say there, that’s what happened to them. Not a trace.

But he knows.

He knows.

-

“Okay, what’s up?” Eddie asks him three days later.

It’s almost funny, how little things have changed. Steve keeps waiting for a knock at the door, a just kidding! There’s no harried phone calls from their work, so they must have taken extended leave or—he doesn’t know.

He’s never going to know.

“Nothing,” Steve shrugs. “Just thinking if the kids want popcorn now or later.”

Eddie’s suspicion melts away with a snort; it’s too easy. “Stupid question—the answer is always now.”

“Yeah, yeah. Second cupboard on your left, Munson, knock yourself out.”

“What am I, the maid?” But Eddie’s already reaching for the popcorn, opening the microwave door with a clunk, and then there’s an abrupt silence.

Steve realises why a second too late. “Shit, I—sorry, lemme just—”

He picks up the plastic tray full of mouldy pasta and throws it in the trash—feels a prickle of shame as he does so.

It’s stupid that this is the thing that makes his breathing catch. So fucking—senseless.

“Steve,” Eddie says haltingly, like he somehow knows this isn’t just about being absent-minded.

“Don’t,” Steve says.

He knows that’s practically a signed confession already. But Eddie nods and even cleans the damn microwave without a word of complaint. Because the popcorn still needs to be done, and the kids are waiting, and they’re pretending, Steve thinks.

They’re all just pretending.

-

He loses himself in washing up, makes the water run hot and doesn’t wear gloves, lets his skin scald. They’d all ordered pizza, and Steve had hidden every slice he’d taken, torn them all up and stuffed them into a napkin.

He stops when he comes to a large plate with a floral trim.

Would she have picked this one? he wonders. The pizza would’ve looked pretty, served up on that.

And then, as quickly as that thought came, another takes its place. How dare she? How dare she think that a fucking lazy dinner would fix everything? Did she think he’d just forgive her, forgive them both, just like that?

But she never got the chance. He’ll never get the chance to—

A sharp, stabbing pain. Steve turns off the faucet automatically, sees that the plate has smashed in the sink. A shard of china in his palm.

Eddie’s voice echoes in the hallway. “Um, I called Wheeler? Uh, Nancy. She—she took them all home.”

“Cool,” Steve says, voice tight.

He knows that Eddie has entered the kitchen when he hears a shocked hiss. “Dude, what the fuck? You’re bleeding, wait there, just—”

It’s not a deep cut, Steve thinks numbly. He doesn’t know why Eddie is worried. But he lets him fuss, lets him gently pry the remnants of the plate away, lets him wrap a bandage tightly.

“Hey,” Eddie says. His voice is soft. “Whatever it is, we’ll fix it, ‘kay?”

Steve can’t look at him. Clenches his jaw.

“We will, you hear me, Harrington? I promise.”

Steve shakes his head. “Can’t fix—” he gets out before his throat closes up, and when he glances back, Eddie’s eyes are wide and fearful.

“What?” he says sharply, and he looks almost nauseous, like he suspects he’s about to be told that the monsters are back, that they have never even left. “What the fuck do you mean? You’ve got to tell me, man, just—”

Steve makes an anguished noise that feels like it comes from somewhere in his chest, and Eddie freezes. He considers Steve for a long moment.

“Okay,” he says, a wary placation. “Can you… um. Can you show me instead?”

Steve blinks. He flexes his hand, uncaring of the cut, and jerks his head to the hallway.

Eddie stares. Frowns. Then leaves.

He figures it out, of course he does. Steve just stands there, hears the click of the answering machine. He closes his eyes.

This is all that’s left; these are his scraps. A sigh he’ll never understand. An aborted, “I love you.” It had never come easily to her, but it had left her freely then.

Why?

A hand on his shoulder. Steve opens his eyes.

Eddie looks stricken. “Steve,” he whispers, then stops like he doesn’t have the words.

Steve can’t blame him. Neither does he.

“I didn’t—I didn’t know,” Eddie says. “Steve, I didn’t—”

“They were coming home,” Steve says stupidly, feels a bit like he’s twelve years old. “They were—Eddie. They were gonna come home.”

“Oh,” Eddie says, and it leaves him all in one breath. “Oh, Steve. C’mere.”

Steve falls against him, muffles something that’s half a cry, half a scream against his shoulder—and mourns the loss of a conversation he will never have.

[roosterforme]

Playing From the Rough | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley agrees to play in a charitable golf tournament as long as you tag along. When he tells off a professional golfer for being rude and then beats him at his own game, Bradley braces himself for the consequences. But it's you the professional decides to take it out on. Guess he didn't get the memo: don't mess with the Bradshaws.

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of smut, mentions of blood, non consensual touching

Length: 3800 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Beautiful banner by @mak-32

"Come on, Rooster. We need a fourth golfer," Bob coaxed, handing Bradley another beer at the Hard Deck. "It's a foursome, not a threesome. And it's for charity."

Bradley sipped the drink and thought about how he'd have to spend a whole weekend day away from you, and he really just wasn't feeling it. The two of you were enjoying that newlywed bubble you'd been living in. Recently, Saturdays had been reserved for sleeping in late, walking the dog, and fucking. 

"Wow, I guess Bradshaw just hates charitable events for children's hospitals," Jake drawled, sipping on his glass of bourbon. "Come on. Be a sport. Payback and Fanboy are deployed. We need one more to make a team."

Bradley sighed. "Let me check with my wife."

"Bring her," Coyote said, lining up a shot at the pool table. "We get two extra tickets. She can drive a golf cart and drink beers all day if she wants."

Bradley cocked his head to the side before he turned to look at you and Nat taking shots up at the bar. "Who else would come?" he asked the guys. "With the other extra ticket?"

But Coyote had followed his gaze. "Give it to Nat. They'd have fun."

"They can be our cheerleaders," Jake said with a smirk.

Bradley snorted. "Don't hold your breath. I think drinking, heckling, and hitting us with the golf carts would be more their speed."

------------------------

"Roo."

Bradley woke up to you pushing your fingers back through his hair, and he groaned. It was just before six in the morning, and you were rubbing yourself against his leg and kissing his neck. He realized he had an erection before he could even remember what day it was, and then he groaned louder.

You and he had to be at the gold course for the charitable fundraiser in about an hour. Bradley wrapped his hands around your waist. "We need to get up, Baby Girl."

"No," you whispered. "You need to fuck me. I'm so horny."

"Shit," he sighed, glancing at the time on his phone. "We can't. We'll be late."

"Roo!" you whined, thoroughly unaccustomed to being told no when it came to anything, but especially when it was something you wanted in bed. Bradley was weak for you in that way.

"I'll make it up to you later, after I'm all sweaty and you've had even more time to get wound up," he promised, squeezing your ass. 

You moaned softly next to his ear. "You better. I want it twice."

"Three times," he replied with a smirk as he got out of bed. He watched you get dressed in a little tropical print pleated skirt and a sleeveless white golf shirt. And nothing else. "Are you planning on wearing any underwear?" he asked, following you into the bathroom.

"No," you told him casually, bending over at the sink to wash your face. He could see your bare pussy. You were doing this intentionally to mess with him. This is what he got for telling you no sex. "Fuck."

When he came up behind you, clearly having a change of heart, you stepped away from him and said, "We don't want to be late." He watched you walk back into the bedroom with your chin in the air. Oh, he'd get you good later.

Once you were holding two travel mugs of coffee and Bradley had his golf bag, he followed you out to the Bronco. He tossed his clubs in the back and then buckled your seatbelt. He let his palm rest on your thigh as he leaned in to kiss you. 

"You're going to look so pretty sitting in the golf cart and cheering for me," he said, trying not to laugh. 

"If anything, you're my trophy husband," you replied with a laugh as you kissed his scarred cheek. 

"I love you," he promised before closing the passenger door and heading out. 

The weather was perfect, the sky was blue, and when you and Bradley arrived at the golf course, the others were already there. The four of them were wearing matching golf shirts emblazoned with Top Gun on the back along with white pants. Bradley wasn't the best golfer by any stretch of the imagination. He usually just tagged along because it was fun, and today was no different. They were raising money for a local children's hospital, and some of the kids were present. 

Bradley smiled at the children who were waving to them after they got checked in. "They'd probably love some pictures with you guys," you whispered, running your hand up Bradley's bicep. 

"Nah," Bradley replied. "There are some TV stars and musicians here. I don't think they care about us."

But you pushed him and Jake toward the kids, and their little faces lit up. Soon Bob was handing out some pins with wings that said Top Gun, and you took pictures while the kids asked questions about aviation.

Bradley ended up sitting with a little girl named Abigail who asked him a million questions about his Super Hornet, but he didn't mind. He loved kids. But it was almost time to get started, so he stood and gave her a high five. And he posed for one more photo that you took before he headed to one of the golf carts. 

"That was sweet of you to pose for pictures with the kids," you told him as you slipped into the driver's seat. 

"It was sweet of you to take all the photos," he replied, sitting next to you and kissing your cheek. 

"Ready?" Coyote asked, taking a seat in the back. Bradley watched Nat tear off in the other cart with Bob and Jake barely hanging on. You followed them to the first tee at a much slower pace, and Bradley was happy to see that there were more kids among the spectators. 

He played the first few holes pretty well. Surprisingly, he was keeping up with Javy and Jake. You and Nat were half watching and half laughing with some drinks in your hands, but Bradley just wanted you to have a good time. 

And you were definitely making sure he was having a good time. Whenever he met your gaze, you ran your fingers up your bare thigh or licked your lips. He was probably playing so well because he knew what was in store for him later. Probably a blowjob to start, but you'd definitely let him finish in your pussy. When he checked the time on his phone, he saw a text from you.

Baby Girl Bradshaw: I'm really horny.

He groaned. You were hot for him and texting him from twenty feet away. He texted you back before tucking his phone away so he could tee off.

Behave, or I'll spank you.

Bradley thought he could hear you moan from the golf cart. But that sweet sound was soon drowned out by someone else.

"Jesus Christ. I told him to fuck off! He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. And his golf swing looks like a piece of shit, too." 

It was a guy about his age, swearing up a storm in front of all the kids. Bradley clenched and unclenched his fist in his glove. Sure, he could appreciate the subtle art of the f-word, but not in front of families with kids representing the charity! There was a time and a place. Like bullshitting at the bar or whispering dirty stuff in your wife's ear.

"Rooster, you're up," Javy called, and Bradley rolled his shoulders and walked away.

But this prick was still running his mouth at the next hole. Bradley didn't know how he got unlucky enough to have to play next to this idiot, but he couldn't take much more. And when he looked up and saw Abigail and her parents, he decided that was enough. 

"Hey man, do you mind?" Bradley asked him, and then he was met with cold, gray eyes. 

"I'm sorry, but who the fuck are you?" the prick responded, sizing Bradley up.

"Someone who's sick of listening to your mouth," Bradley replied without hesitation. This guy was handsome and smug, and Bradley couldn't stand him. "This is an event for children. There are kids everywhere. Cut it out with the foul language."

Bradley turned and walked back toward the golf cart where you were laughing with Nat when Jake jogged up next to him. "Dude, what did you just say to Hunter King?"

"Who?"

"You were just talking to Hunter King. He's a super famous pro golfer!"

Bradley turned back to see that he was still being glared at. "I told him to shut his mouth and stop swearing in front of all the kids," he told Jake.

"But that's Hunter King," Jake insisted with wide eyes. 

Bradley shrugged and said, "I don't care who he is. He's being rude." Then he took a quick sip of the beer you were holding before handing it back to you with a kiss to your forehead. 

"Ready to go to the next hole?" you asked, brushing the hem of your skirt a little higher. 

"I'm ready to take you home," Bradley replied, squeezing your perfect thigh. 

"Gross," Nat complained, climbing out of the cart and heading to the other one. You and she drove the four of them to the next hole, and Bradley saw that Hunter King was right there as well. 

"Go get a hole in one, Roo," you told him, rubbing high up on his thigh and brushing his cock. 

"Baby Girl, I'm gonna teach you a lesson later."

"Ohh," you crooned. "Will you teach me how to hold your club?"

"If you're good," he replied, climbing out of the cart with a shake of his head. Bradley watched Hunter King play par on the hole, and then it was his turn. Bradley drove the ball with a nearly perfect swing, and the ball landed on the green.

You and Nat were both cheering for him, and the kids in the area all looked delighted as well. Nat drove Bradley over to the green to putt while you waited with Bob and Jake. And to Bradley's surprise, he came in at one stroke under par for the hole. He just did better than a professional golfer. And now Hunter King looked even more pissed off.

"Good," Bradley muttered to himself, bending to get his ball out of the hole. "That's what you get."

And then Bradley beat him on the next hole. And the one after that. 

"Wow, Rooster," Nat said, rubbing his shoulder. "I had no idea you'd be this good. Jake tells everyone how terrible you are."

Bradley rolled his eyes as you walked over and wrapped your arms around his waist. "You're doing better than Javy, Bob and Jake," you informed him, clearly impressed. 

"It doesn't matter," he replied. "It's just for charity." But he was still shocked when he finished in third place overall. Hunter King finished in fourth. 

Bradley went over to congratulate the first and second place finishers, but he was cut off by Hunter. "Good game," Bradley managed through clenched teeth, holding out his hand. But the other man didn't shake it. Instead he smiled in such a way that made Bradley feel very uneasy. 

"Are you married?" Hunter asked him.

Bradley's brow scrunched up. "Yeah," he replied.

"Which one's your wife?" Hunter was nodding to where you and Nat were standing in the sunlight. You looked beautiful, the golden glow illuminating your skin as you shifted weight from one foot to the other. With one hand planted on your hip you tossed your head back and laughed. You were his wife. His perfect wife. 

"You know what?" Hunter replied. "It doesn't matter. I'll take real good care of both of them."

"What?" Bradley asked, but as soon as Hunter headed your way, someone was trying to pull him aside for a photo with the other winners. When he turned back, all he saw was you and Nat being led away with Hunter's hand on your lower back.

---------------------------

"Ladies."

You looked up into a pair of soft, gray eyes and were met with a brilliant smile. "My name's Hunter, and I'd love to take you on a tour of the VIP tent."

"Sounds swanky," Nat replied, smiling at him.

"Oh. It is. I promise," he said with another charming smile. "Let's go."

You looked back to see that Bradley was absorbed with a photography crew and some of the kids associated with the charity. You tried to wave to get his attention, but you supposed it didn't really matter. You wouldn't be gone long enough to even need to grab you phone from the golf cart. 

Then Hunter's hand came to rest just above the swell of your butt, and you thought your eyes were going to bug out. As he nodded at the security guard watching the entrance to the VIP tent, you slipped out of his grasp. 

"Welcome, Mr. King," the guard said with a smirk. "Two guests with you?"

"That's right," he replied with a laugh. He was annoying, but the inside of the tent was incredible. It looked more like a small arena inside. There were people checking out golf simulators and waiters walking around with drinks. You watched Hunter grab two bottles of champagne from a large ice bucket. 

"This way, ladies," he said, and you took Nat by the hand before she could wander over to the simulators. Hunter looked at your joined hands as you both followed him, and he muttered, "That works for me, too."

You pulled Nat a little closer as the three of you ended up in a secluded area. After he popped the first bottle of champagne, he handed it to Nat. "A whole bottle?" she asked. "Thanks, Hunter."

Then he popped the second one and gave it to you. "Drink up."

His fingers lingered on yours as you said, "I love pink champagne. My husband buys it for me all the time."

Hunter's eyes appraised you, lingering on your lips and chest. You were suddenly very aware of your lack of underwear and peaked nipples. "Oh, you're married?" he asked casually. "Was he the one who finished in the top three?"

"Yes! He placed third," you told him before taking a sip of the expensive champagne. It was delicious, and Nat had already finished half of her bottle. You kind of wanted to share your bottle with Bradley, but you also kind of wanted to ditch it and leave. 

"You like to play golf?" Hunter asked, completely focused on you now. 

You shrugged. "I haven't played much. I usually just hang out in the golf cart when I go."

"Your husband won't let you play?"

You rolled your eyes. "I can assure you that I do whatever I want."

"I love to hear that," he laughed with a smile. "And I think you want to try out one of the simulators." 

You noticed that Nat had already wandered away to one of the booths. "Just for a minute," you agreed.

Then you listened to him explain how the simulator worked. It was a small booth, and you would wear a virtual reality mask. It looked just like you were really on a golf course. 

"Let me close the door for you," Hunter murmured next to your ear. "So you can get started."

He closed the booth, and it took you a few seconds to realize he was still in there with you. Because when you bent a little at the waist, you bumped into him with your butt. 

"You need a little help with your posture?" he asked, wrapping his hands around your hips from behind. In an instant, you knew you were rubbing against the zipper of his pants, and his left hand was skimming over your skirt right where your little rooster tattoo was covered by the thin fabric. 

You gasped when his hands slid a little lower. You had no underwear on, because your main goal of the day had been to tease Bradley. But now Hunter was the one almost touching your bare skin. 

"What the hell?" you shouted in the small space, whipping off the mask covering your eyes and spinning around. "What the hell is your problem?" You watched his face as you pulled your right hand back. He looked alarmed, eyes wide and hands held up in surrender as your palm made contact with his face.

"Ow! Fuck!" he screamed. Somehow you managed to slap his cheek and also hit his nose with the heel of your hand at the same time. It started gushing blood onto his pale blue shirt, and he tried to pinch the bridge of his nose to get it to slow down. 

"I'm married, and you're creepy!" you informed him loudly, shoving past him to get out of the simulation booth. "Come on, Nat," you called, taking her hand again.

"Why are we leaving? I didn't finish my champagne!" she complained. So when you walked back past the ice bucket, you gabbed a new bottle for her and a second one for yourself.

"Hunter is a creep," you informed her as you made your way to the tent exit. But Hunter was hot on your heels and reaching out for you.

----------------------------

Bradley saw you go inside the VIP area, but he got pulled aside for some group photos. He knew the kids, including Abigail, were waiting for more photos as well, but he quickly excused himself to head after you.

"That son of a bitch," he muttered to himself as he approached the security guard. Hunter King was mad that he told him to shut his mouth, and beating a professional at his own game really hadn't helped Bradley's cause. And he just knew Hunter was going to try to take it out on you and Nat. 

He started sweating. You were all horny and wound up, and you had skipped underwear to mess with him. And now the guy who was pissed off at Bradley was probably inside pawing at you. And you weren't answering your phone. 

"Whoa, hang on," the guard said, sliding into place in front of the entrance just as Bradley got there. "This area is off limits for you."

Bradley grunted. "My wife is in there."

"Good for her," he replied with a shrug of his enormous shoulders. 

"You don't understand. She's with Hunter King."

The guard had the audacity to smirk at him. "One of those two attractive women? I'm sure she's having a great time with Mr. King."

What was that supposed to mean? Bradley had to close his eyes and silently count to ten. "I just need to pop in there, and then I'll be right back out."

"Absolutely not."

Bradley ground his molars together before he managed a very insincere sounding, "Please?"

Then the security guard laughed at him, and Bradley contemplated trying to shove this guy out of his way. He had about a hundred pounds and four inches on Bradley, but it would be worth the pounding to make sure you and Nat were okay. Just as he was working himself up to do it, he caught sight of you heading his way, dragging Nat along. You emerged from the tent looking unscathed.

"Hi, Roo," you said sweetly, gripping a bottle of pink champagne for some reason. You wrapped your arms around him, the cold condensation from the bottle pressing to the back of his neck. 

"What's going on, Baby Girl?" he asked, still completely bewildered as you kissed him. "Where's Hunter King?" He was pulling you a little closer, waiting for some sort of explanation. 

But Nat started laughing. "You don't need to worry about your wife. Cheers," she said, holding up a second bottle of champagne before popping the cork.

You whispered, "I love you," against Bradley's lips just as he saw Hunter come storming to the tent entrance with blood all over his shirt.

Bradley took your face in his hands. "What happened? Why is he covered in blood? Did he try to hurt you? Or Nat? This is all my fault for telling him to stop swearing and then beating his score." Bradley could feel his pulse quicken, feel his brow crease in concern, but you were smiling.

"He's a creep. I told him I was married, and he still tried to touch me, but I'm pretty sure I broke his nose."

Bradley shoved you gently away from him, ready to beat the ever living shit out of both the security guard and Hunter King. He watched Hunter's eye grow wide as he clenched both hands into fists, but then you were in front of him again. 

"Roo! It's okay!" you promised, pressing the champagne bottle to his chest and pushing him back. 

"It is not okay," he growled, letting you push him a little further away from the tent. "I'll rip him in half."

"Roo! Right before I saw you, he tried to grab me again. I told him I'd call the cops if he didn't match the donation that was being made to the children's hospital." 

"Match the donation? That's like four hundred thousand dollars," he replied, looking at you with surprise. "You just got Hunter King to make a personal donation of four hundred thousand dollars?"

"Yep!" you replied, pressing yourself to the front of him. "I sure did. And I got him to say it in front of one of the charity's coordinators. I also insinuated to that coordinator that perhaps Mr. King shouldn't be allowed to spend any time alone with women in the VIP tents in the future. And that maybe he should be removed from the circuit. Now let's go home, pop this delicious bottle of pink champagne, and celebrate your third place victory!"

Bradley was still gaping at you before he scooped you up into his arms. He was careful to keep your butt covered with one big hand as you kissed his face while he glared past you at Hunter King until the other man slinked back into the shadows where he belonged. 

"You're such a badass," he told you suddenly. "I'm so impressed by you all the time, Sweetheart. You don't even need me."

"No, I don't," you agreed with him, kissing his cheek and trailing your lips back to his ear. "But I really, really want you."

"Let's go home," he grunted, carrying you to one of the golf carts. "I just want my bed, my wife, and the expensive champagne she stole from the VIP tent."

-----------------------------

Don't mess with the Bradshaws! Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Eddie and Max get out of the hospital at the same time. Eddie's scars are tender. It hurts to move sometimes. But he's got ointment, and pain pills, he'll be fine.

Max can see, not super well, but it improves a little every week. Her arms are mostly healed, she still has slings for when they ache. Her legs are healed, technically, the bones anyway. But she's got braces and isn't supposed to walk on them yet. She can stand on them for a couple minutes off and on to stretch them. But she goes to physical therapy multiple times a week.

Her mom had been rightly worried and upset and freaked out, because they couldn't afford a van for her wheelchair. And yeah she can get out of her wheelchair if she needs too, but its easier on her body if she can just, roll in and out of a vehicle.

So eddie tells her mom he can drive her around. All they need is a ramp for his van. He already had straps in the back to secure things, they use them on Gareth's drum set. The relief on Max's mothers face and the way she hugs him genlty is... too much. He just smiles and looks away, nodding when she thanks him again.

He drives her to therapy twice and decides that her trailer needs a ramp too. A good one. He can't help lift Max's chair, so he just has to watch Max's mom struggle to get her up the stairs.

So he goes home and starts drawing. He can see it in his head, the way he wants it, bigger than it probably needs to be, but he wants the slope to be low impact, because once her arms get strong enough to move herself, he wants her to able to do that. He just... doesn't know how he's gonna manage to DO all this.

But he goes to the hardware store one day, with Wayne, because Wayne knows things, about everything. And Wayne helps him pick out the wood, they estimate the numbers and then buy a little more, just in case. And they load it up, and drop it by Max's house. And the next day, Wayne goes to work, and so does Eddie.

He ties his hair back, shoves himself into a pair of Wayne's old cover alls, and walks slowly over to Max's, she doesn't have therapy today, or the next two. Eddie doesn't think he can get it done by then, but he's gonna fucking get it started if it kills him. He pops a pain pill into his mouth, takes a swig from the water he'd brought with him, takes a look at the drawing he'd made, and gets to work.

Max rolls onto her small porch steps about an hour into Eddie's work, he's been measuring and cutting and just separating things into piles. She says his name softly and he looks up, squinting, he's covered in sweat. And his body fucking hurts. He wipes at his forehead with his arm and limps over to Max. She's holding out a new glass of water.

"What are you doing?" Her voice is ...tight. Like she knows exactly what he's doing. Eddie chugs the water and hands her back the empty glass.

"What? You don't like suprises?" He huffs, smiles with the tease. She smiles back, her bottom lip trembling slightly. He rests his hand gently on her knee, gives it a squeeze, then heads back to where he was,

"Go inside. I can't keep an eye you when I'm working and if you roll off that teeny tiny porch you're mom'll kill me." She snorts, but does as he says. A few minutes later Eddie hears the door slap shut again, and looks up to see another glass of water sitting on the porch. He shouts a thank you, and keeps working.

It only takes another hour before he almost has a breakdown. His skin hurts, he's hot, his hands are shaking. He's downed three more glasses of water. His last thank you had been so strangled that Max had just looked at him and then disappeared into the house.

He's sitting on the porch steps now, hands shaking in his lap, tears falling down his face. He can't take another pill yet. He's got two hours. He takes a few very deep breathes, about to steel himself and get back to work, his hands are on his knees, about to push himself up, when he hears the car.

He looks up, and Steve's car is parking at his house. His hands fall from his knees. But its not just Steve in the car, Nancy and Robin are there too. All of them in old looking jeans, and ratty looking shirts.

Robin's are covered in paint. Eddie's breathing goes shakey as Steve pats Robin's shoulder and points at Eddie. Robin nods and heads for him, doing a weird little run, Eddie can't help but smile. Steve and Nancy are grabbing things from Steve's trunk, Eddie doesn't see what things, before Robin is filling his vision, dropping to her knees in front of him looking concerned as her hands gently cradle his face.

"Hey you. You okay? Max said you might need some help." Robin breaths it out like a sigh, like she'd been holding in her worry. Eddie bites his lip to stop it from trembling anymore and nods. She nods back with a smile.

"Okay cool. Well, help is here. Help being, Steve and Nancy." She nods to them.

"And I'm gonna sit with you until you're feeling a bit better okay? Then you can jump back in." Steve clears his throat aggressively as he walks past her at that. Robin's face scrunches.

"Maybe." She tells Eddie. Steve was ... was he mad? He wasn't looking at Eddie, just helping Nancy get the tools they'd need out of the box they brought. Eddie had some tools, but just for one person. Robin rubs his knee gently and squishes in next to him on the stairs.

"So you got baby sitting duty?" He asks her, his side pressing into her as almost all the fight to stay upright leaves his body. She's steady beside him, holds him up easily, her hand curling around his bicep for extra support.

"Well, Nancy and Steve thought it was probably best that I don't handle tools. So yeah, but hey, babysitting you's not so bad. I mean you're a GREAT conversationalist." Robin smiles brightly at him, watches him try to smile back and then grimace.

"You okay?" Her voice is concerned now, and that apparently draws Steve's attention. He's at Eddie side in the time it takes for Eddie to nod, his face still scrunched in pain. Steve kneels, looks up at him.

"Where are your pills?" He asks. Eddie shakes his head.

"Hour an a half." Eddie grunts out. Steve's head falls and then it's shaking, he sighs, and fuck, he sounds disappointed. And he's glaring at Eddie when he finally looks back up.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Doing this by yourself, with no one here but Max to help you if you got hurt. Did you think about that?" Steve's voice gets louder as he talks.

"Steve." Robin's voice, a warning.

"No. Robin. This is... you could've gotten hurt Eddie." He huffs it, his voice is full of frustration, and anger. Eddie just stares at the ground, tries to breathe around the lump in his throat.

"I know I fucked up alright? Can we spare the lecture?" He grits, his voice is wobbly. Steve doesn't hear it, just huffs again and stands, Eddie sees his hands hit his hips and braces for whatever he's gonna say next.

"What was Max supposed to do if you got hurt? Huh? She can't help you dude! And Wayne's at work! You're all alone out here, when you shouldn't even be out here in the first place!" Steve is openly yelling now, both Nancy and Robin saying his name as Eddie's shoulders shake. Eddie clears his throat roughly, pushing the tight feeling away so he can speak. He shoves himself to his feet with a wince, pain shooting through his body.

"You think I dont know that? I know how fucking alone I am. Thank you. Steve." His hand clenches at the pain in his side, a whimper rips out of his throat, tears burn his eyes and fall. Steve looks startled, then concerned, reaches out to steady him, Eddie slaps his hand away, hard.

"Don't fuckin touch me." He growls, wipes at his eyes with shakey hands and starts walking to his trailer. His foot hits a dip in the ground and he stumbles, Robin catches him, just enough to keep him on his feet. She lets go immediately as he shrugs her touch off gently, and keeps walking.

"FUCK!" he yells it, to no one really, just built up frustration clawing its way out of him. He stomps, carefully, up his own trailer steps, and lets the door slam shut behind him.

Max's trailer door squeaks open, and the three of them turn to see her looking at Steve.

"That was harsh. I told you to come help him, not fucking yell at him and make it worse." The look in her eyes could cut glass. Steve droops under her scrutiny, his hands moving to cover his face.

"Fuck. I know." He groans. He looks up, and over to Robin.

"What's wrong with me?" He sighs, his head hanging again. Robin gives him a sympathetic smile, walks closer, rubs at his arm.

"You care about him. And you were mad. And when you're upset you get...." she trails off, thinking.

"Bitchy." Nancy supplies, moving to his other side, her hand on his shoulder as he glares at her.

"What? You do. Eddie was trying to do something nice. Something amazing, actually, for Max." Steve glares harder, she holds her finger up, silencening whatever he was about to interupt her with.

"And yes he went about it the wrong way. He obviously should have called for help." Robin chimes in, squeezing his arm.

"But no one said he was a genius. He's just trying to help." Nancy finishes, moving her hand over his shoulder soothingly.

"I know that. But he can't... he can't just help others to point that he hurts himself!" Steve flails a little, both Robin and Nancy leaning away from him, out of his flail range. They share a look though. And Max snorts behind him. He wips around to look at her.

"What? What was that for?" He asks, his tone, to his dismay, bitchy.

"Did you hear what just came out of your mouth? Have you met yourself?" She asks, crossing her arms carefully over her chest. She glares at him until he deflates. He sighs. Squints against the sun as he looks up at the sky.

"I need to go apologize." He says. All three girls nod.

"Yep." Nancy says, pressing her lips together so she doesn't smile.

"Definitely. 100% yeah." Robin squeezes his arm again, gives him an encouraging nod.

"If you don't. I'm throwing myself down these steps and telling my mom you left me unsupervised." Max says, her voice flat. Steve's eyes widen, and then he gives her a look.

"Jesus. Alright. I was already going. No need for threats." He calls the last part over his shoulder as he makes his way to Eddie's trailer. He bounces up the steps gingerly and knocks.

"Come in." Eddie's voice calls. Steve opens the door, the living room is empty. He walks down to Eddie's room and his heart sinks. Eddie has one arm pulled up inside his coveralls, it's bent at an interesting angle, he's sitting in the edge of his bed, his face is wet with tears. He flinches a little when he sees it's Steve standing there and that hurts Steve too. He moves closer, just one step and then Eddie chokes out,

"I'm stuck." And Steve moves fast. He kneels in front of Eddie, trying to look at the situation, his arm is caught in the sleeve, his elbow shoved into it tightly, he moves Eddie's wrist and Eddie flinches again.

"Does it hurt?" He asks, keeping his voice quiet. Eddie nods, bites his lip. The sleeve is pressing hard into Eddie's arm, right where one of his scars is. Steve winces in sympathy.

"How attached are you to these?" He tugs on the front of the coveralls, Eddie looks at him.

"I'm not. They're Wayne's old pair." He says, his voice tight from the pain.

"Okay good." Steve says as he slides his pocket knife out, flicks it open, and cuts the sleeve in one fluid motion. Eddie's arm drops free, another whimper falls out of him at the release.

Steve cradles Eddie's arm, holds it gently as Eddie catches his breath. His fingers squeeze Eddie's wrist and he opens his eyes. Looks at Steve.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Steve says, not letting go of Eddie's wrist. Eddie blinks at him. Stares. Then shakes his head.

"Don't be. I fucked up. You were right. I shouldn't have been out there by myself." Eddie frowns, wipes at his wet face. Steve shakes his head then, pushing himself up onto his knees, his back straightening, moving him closer to Eddie's face.

"No. Don't do that. It wasn't your fault. Okay? I shouldn't have yelled. You were trying to help Max. And I just... I didn't wanna find you hurt. Again." Steve looks at Eddie, really looks at him, tries to convey what he means without having to say it. Eddie's eyes are wide, and a little glassy from crying, but Steve sees it, the moment realization hits him.

"Okay. I won't do it again." Eddie nods, moves his wrist in Steve's hand so he can curl his fingers around Steve's wrist.

"Thank you. Just call us. We'll help you. Okay? And Eddie?" Steve swallows, stands and lifts Eddie to his feet, Eddie blinks at him owlishly.

"You're not alone. I'm sorry if we made you feel that way." Steve whispers it, feels his throat burn as Eddie starts crying again. He wipes at his face and shakes his head, looks at Steve with some strange frown smile combo.

"No I know. I just... it's always just been me. And Wayne. Ya know?" He says, holding onto Steve as he sways, dizzy. Steve holds onto him right back.

"Yeah. Well... not anymore." Steve shrugs, smiles, and then tugs Eddie out of his room. They get him another pain pill, Steve rubs some ointment onto the scar on his arm, and then they go back outside.

Nancy is cutting wood while Robin measures and marks. Steve doesn't let go of Eddie's hand until he has him sitting on the porch steps. Max hands him another glass of water.

"You're drinking me out of house and home Munson." She teases, he stares her down as he chugs the water, holds the glass back out to her and wiggles it with a shit eating grin.

"Unbelievable. Sending the girl in the wheelchair to do your errands." She sighs, but smiles when Eddie hops up and gets the door for her, follows her inside to help. He pops back a minute later and hands Steve a peice of paper. It has his plans for the ramp on it.

"This is sort of what I was aiming for." He shrugs, watches Steve look over the paper.

"You did this?" He asks, looking back up at Eddie. Eddie nods, wraps his arms around himself, feeling self-conscious under Steve's gaze.

"What? What's wrong with it?" He asks when Steve says nothing.

"What? Oh no, sorry, nothing's wrong. It's just super detailed." Steve smiles, shakes his head, hands the paper to Robin and Nancy.

"Yeah well, I wanted it done right." Eddie shrugs, Nancy makes a weird moaning sound behind them, both of them look to see her looking down at the paper in her hands, lovingly. She looks back up at Eddie.

"Finally! Someone else detail oriented. I'm making copies of this." She sounds genuine as she waves the paper, smiling at Eddie. He flushes red and moves to sit on the steps again. When his hands stop shaking he helps Robin with the measurements.

She measures, he measures, Nancy and Steve cut.

It takes them two days. But they get it done. The ramp wraps around the side of the trailer, where Max's mom always parks. He bought some plywood as well, to put down on the ground, so Max's wheels wouldn't sink.

The first time she pushes Max down the ramp she nearly cries as she throws herself at Eddie. Hugs him tight and then apologizes when he huffs in pain. Max grabs his hand, looks up at him with her bright blue eyes, and kisses his arm. Just a little peck, smooching the bats on his skin. But he gets it. That's all she needs to do. He knows she's grateful.

Steve shows up at Eddie's trailer the day after they finish the ramp. His eyes are wild and he looks like he's been shoving his hands into his hair for a couple of hours. Eddie gets half way through asking what's wrong and then Steve is kissing him. They almost fall into the trailer with the force of it. Steve catches them, rights them, but doesn't let go of Eddie, just lets out a breathy,

"Sorry sorry." As he keeps them steady. Eddie just smiles dumbly at him. Wayne stands from the couch, clears his throat awkwardly and pats Eddie on the shoulder as he leaves, says,

"Told you them coveralls was lucky boy." He winks as he passes them. Eddie's laughter filling the trailer behind him as Steve's face goes crimson and he drops his head on Eddie's shoulder with a dramatic groan.

[bless-my-demons]

Redamancy: Chapter Thirteen

Series Summary: What happens when your soulmate is a vampire that struggles to maintain a diet of trying not to kill you? Common sense says run for the hills, nothing is worth your life - but my heart is whispering why not, what’s there to lose?

Warnings: None except for a cuss word and some tooth-rotting fluff

Notes: Oops, I lied - New Moon timeline has been pushed to the right a bit, I got carried away with this chapter lol this one got me cheesin’ hard. I can’t even wait to post this until my regular time, so enjoy!! (Hopefully I didn’t fuck up the tags - thank you to everyone that’s used the google form!)

Word Count: 2701

Series Masterlist

• March 21st, 2005 • Cullen’s Residence •

Reader

The soothing motion of Carlisle’s car came to a gentle stop that didn’t completely wake me up. But the cold arms reaching under me to lift me from the vehicle certainly did. As he began to lift me, Jasper made sure to secure the hem of my dress for my modesty causing me to smile sleepily at his thoughtfulness.

“What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” He asks quietly, speaking softly into my hairline.

“You.” I blush immediately at my whispered confession, keeping my eyes closed and face buried in his shoulder.

“Mmm, I think I like sleepy Y/n.” He says with a chuckle that rumbles through me.

I finally look up at our surroundings, noticing we’re at his house instead of mine.

“Why-”

“Your mom isn’t expecting us until tomorrow afternoon, normal people don’t make a twenty-four hour drive without sleeping.” Somehow he manages to open the front door without setting me down. “So, you’re going to get some rest while I go for a hunt.”

I blink up at him slowly as he continues his path through his house. I get another day with him? Well, however much is left once his hunger is satiated.

“My siblings are at school, Esme is redecorating with one of her clients, and Carlisle is at the hospital so the house is yours for most of the day.” Jasper explains, walking down the hallway and finally into his room before returning me gently back to solid ground.

His massive king bed is as immaculately made as the first time I saw it and just as inviting. The longer I admire the fluffy black duvet and mountain of pillows, the more aware I am of all the little aches and pains sleeping in the car caused. Not to mention the lingering tenderness of my healing ribs and the other broken parts of me.

Jasper turns me to face his black gaze, “Climb in and get some sleep, Esme stocked the kitchen for you and I’ll be back before you know it.” It comes out almost robotic, but I see that he’s trying - his hunger covers every inch of his face and keeps his body rigid.

“Take your time, I won’t leave without you.” I reassure him with a half smile, especially since I never made that exact promise in the hotel.

He leans in to plant a kiss to my temple before he’s gone with a small breeze and a lingering coolness on my skin as the only signs he was just there. Sighing, I slide the thick drapes closed to stop the morning sun from shining through the beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows.

I stop in the doorway to his closet before reaching the bed, contemplating snooping for something more comfortable to sleep in. Would stealing a shirt be too much? We aren’t even dating, but I do have permission to sleep in his bed… the dresser on the far wall tempts me forward. What’s one shirt to a vampire?

Sliding open the middle drawer in search of anything comfier than a dress, a small note card is waiting on top of his neatly folded shirts:

He doesn’t mind one bit.

- A

Christ, this woman thinks of everything. Grinning, I step out of my sundress and pick up a black short sleeve that’s a couple sizes too big. It hits the tops of my thighs, but since I’m home alone - I don’t think twice before climbing into his bed and situating myself for a much needed rest.

Inhaling the scent that’s so distinctly Jasper Hale, sleep finds me easily for the first time in a very long time.

Jasper

She’s in my shirt. In my bed. In my room. My sheets twisted around her legs. My pillows cradling her body. My scent mingling with hers and settling into the walls, the carpet, the bookshelves, the bed, my lungs.

I close my eyes and slowly retreat out of my room, shutting the door almost completely silent and resting my head on the wood.

“You good?” Emmett’s question almost startles me right out of my skin.

I sigh, “That hunt was almost for fucking nothing.” I turn my darkening eyes toward my brother to see surprise sweeping his face.

“You just got back!” He whisper yells with a wide-eyed look, knowing Y/n is asleep.

“She’s-” a low growl gets the better of me and I immediately tamp it down, closing my eyes in concentration.

A chuckle poorly contained slips from my brother and my eyes burst open to give him a deadly glare.

“You got it bad, brother.” He claps my shoulder with one of his massive hands and steers me down the hallway, putting distance between me and my greatest temptation. “You’ve got it so bad.”

Reader

I wake with a yawn and a stretch, relishing in the softness of Jasper’s sheets.

My eyes snap open. Jasper’s sheets.

I’m in Jasper Hale’s bed, wearing his shirt and my underwear and nothing else.

Shooting up into a sitting position, I glance around wildly trying to determine what time it was, but my eyes stop in the corner of his room. Jasper, sitting in a chair reading a book by a dim lamp.

“It’s almost seven, you slept most of the day. How was your nap, darlin’?” Setting his book down on his lap, he meets my gaze with a sly grin before sliding his eyes down my legs. “I see you made yourself comfortable.”

I gasp, “I-I uh-” fumbling for an explanation as to why I’m half-naked in his bed and absolutely failing.

“Sweetheart, it’s alright. A very nice view to come home to, so I guess you could say it’s more than alright.” He stalks forward slowly, light brown eyes holding me in a trance.

I blush deeply at his words and pull the blankets up to my chest, wishing these sheets could swallow me up.

Just then, a knock at the door and Alice pokes her head inside, “Oh good - you’re up! Get decent, everyone is getting together in the living room for movie night!” She finishes with a wink and is gone as fast as she arrived.

Jasper disappears into his closet and re-emerges with a pair of black sweats, setting them in my lap and leaning forward to whisper in my ear, “Can’t have a lady walking around in just my shirt, huh darlin’?”

Watching him duck out of the room so that I can slip on the bottoms, I contemplate making a run for it to put an end to all this teasing. The blush on my cheeks might as well be permanent.

Jasper

Movie night, really? I direct the thought at Edward and watch him throw a bored, pointed look at our scheming sister before leaving.

Alice replies with a grin, tossing me a blanket presumably for Y/n, “Oh hush, I’m just doing my sisterly duty of moving things along.” She floats past us, preparing the rom-com she selected.

“Don’t even look at me.” Rose waves a hand in dismissal as I raise my eyebrows at her, “I want nothing to do with your human.”

“C’mon, babe-” Emmett whines, but stops at the murderous look in his mate’s eyes. He continues anyways with a semi-serious whisper, “It’s the first time in like, forever since he’s even come close to getting any-”

I cut his inappropriate sentence off with a pillow to the face just as Y/n turns the corner into the room.

“Vampires have pillow fights at night?” She asks playfully, scanning the couch for a spot to sit. My clothes are swarming her and it stirs something I thought was long dead in my chest.

“Vampires do a lot of things at-” Emmett teases her, but this time Rosalie is the one to stop him with a smack to his chest.

Shaking my head, I find a spot on the opposite end of the long sectional from Emmett so as to limit the teasing. Embarrassment and a little something else I can’t quite put my finger on flows from her, so I pat the empty space next to me and hold out my hand for her to take. Once she’s settled with her legs tucked against her chest, I turn to ask Alice to press play and find her already giving me a pointed look. I wrap my arm around Y/n and pull her closer to settle against me, my sister smiles self-satisfied before hopping to the couch and starting the movie.

“Relax, sweetheart.” I whisper in her hair and I’m immediately shushed by Rose.

Y/n finally releases the tension in her body about five minutes into the movie and ten minutes after that, her legs are in my lap with the blanket pulled up to her chin.

“Alice, Rose? Can I get your help with opinions for a client?” Esme calls as she walks through the doorway to the garage halfway into the movie. “And Emmett, mind picking up Carlisle after his shift, sweetheart? I took his car this morning.”

All three of my siblings leave the room, Alice tossing me the remote and Emmett not-so-subtly flashing me a wink. He disappears before Y/n could notice and I could throw another pillow.

I feel her nerves ramp up as the house quiets again, I attempt to ground her by sliding a hand around her ankle under the blanket and it immediately has the opposite effect. Turning to her, she’s already watching me with her mouth open ready to say something, but it’s stuck. So my eyes drift to her mouth, lips that have tempted me from day fucking one. I know she sees what I’m fixated on, because her breath hitches and I tighten my grip on her ankle minutely - not to be painful, but a warning.

“Jasper-”

“May I?” I ask zoned in on her lips, unable to even want to hold myself back anymore. A curious Icarus to her solar flame.

She nods in a daze as my fingers trail her chin, but it’s not enough. “Words, darlin’. I need you to-”

But she’s leaning forward with a whisper, “Yes, Jasper.”

I swear time stops as a buzzing drowns my ears. Breaths puff from her beautiful lips in short spurts, anticipation oozes from her. I have to take a few seconds to collect myself, my mind running rampant.

I slide my hand around to cradle the back of her head and tilt it backwards, the tv casting a warm glow on her face. A shiver wracks through her and I tense, “Do not move.” The request is more of an order and she obeys instantly.

Leaning forward, her warm breath fans across my face before it stops with a sharp inhale. The only sound is her pounding heart and I swear it stutters as I gently meet her lips with mine.

Burning. This burning feeling starts where my lips tangle with hers and it travels down my throat to grip my rock-solid heart in a painful squeeze. Her mouth is warm and pliant where mine is cold and unyielding. Her nose is pressed against mine like a puzzle piece I’ve been missing. It’s absolutely bliss, her lips molding to mine, better than any indulgence I could possibly think up. Her quickening heart rate reminds me to reluctantly retreat - humans and their need for air.

I separate just barely from her mouth and she sucks in a gasp that tears my soul from my chest making me want to dive right back in. Opening my eyes to make sure this is in fact reality, hers are still lightly shut, bliss emanating from every single pore.

How on earth do I go about my day now? Knowing this perfection exists? She’s human, I can’t very well spend eternity kissing her here on this couch.

My groan causes her eyes to flash open and I notice they’re completely dilated, a dangerous observation for my control.

“Are you? I-I mean, did you not-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” My voice comes out huskier than I’d like and instantly she relaxes in my grip.

I push back a single strand of hair that blew across her face as I let out a long breath, barely an inch of space between us still. My willpower is at an all time low as we continue to stare at each other in somewhat surprise.

“Jaz?”

“Yes, darlin’?” I’m utterly raptured by her, firmly ensnared by this gorgeous girl - even more so than the moment I met her.

“Can… Can I?” Her question is open and tentative, but I can tell exactly what she wants and I’ll be damned if I don’t give it to her.

“Anything you want, it’s yours sweetheart.” It’s my turn to hold still, to wait patiently for her to come to me.

Reader

Holy fucking shit.

This without a doubt is what it’s like to have an addiction at first taste. Jasper Hale just kissed me and I’m about to kiss him, again.

I lean forward and smooth my hands up his chest to the base of his head, my fingers finding the short ringlets that hide under the bulk of his beautiful blonde hair. He’s deathly still with his eyes closed, allowing me to take the lead - but I also know this is a tricky situation with his control.

My nose bumps his as my eyes flutter closed and it’s his turn to elicit a sharp inhale. Nerves begin to flood my throat with cotton, but they’re gone almost as quickly, Jasper wiping them away with probably half a thought.

I closed the minuscule gap and my lips brush his a little deeper this time, relishing in the temperature difference. Kissing Jasper is in a category of its own, gone are the days I’ll ever settle for the warm mouth of any plain boy ever again.

Opening my lips enough to snake my tongue out for just a taste-

Suddenly there’s a couch-worth of separation between us and both of us are gasping for air like we’ve just run a marathon. His eyes are wide and wild, a darker brown than I distinctly remember a few moments ago.

“I-I’m so sorry,” his voice is strained and his hands are digging through his hair roughly, “Forgive me, darlin’-”

He fumbles at a loss for words, mouth opening and closing with no sound. Immediately I feel terrible because I pushed a boundary he wasn’t ready for.

“Jasper, please-I messed up and I’m so sorry.” I plead from my spot, scared to go and comfort him.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I should have my shit together-” but I stop his panicked apology.

“Look at me, please.” His eyes snap to mine at the request. I scoot closer to him slowly, stopping just within arms reach so as not to invade his personal space. “Can you close your eyes and just, feel with me?”

He takes half a second of hesitation before trusting me, his dark eyes snapping closed with a furrow in his brow. Taking a deep breath, I close my own and focus on exuding positive energy. Calm, content, tranquil - my mind running over any remotely helpful feeling to settle his inner turmoil. After a few moments of the impromptu meditation session, I open my eyes feeling much more relaxed. Staring back at me is the face of a much calmer, but shocked man.

“Did that work? I wasn’t sure, but-”

“You… No one has ever done something like that-darlin’.” Once again I’ve rendered him speechless and it brings a smile to my lips.

“Get used to it Hale, you’re stuck with me now.” I tell him, smug.

“Is that so?” He pulls me closer to him with a grin on his lips, the joy in my chest causing a laugh to burst from me as I toss my head back.

There isn’t a single place I’d rather be than his arms and I’m so glad he’s constantly opening pieces of himself up to let me worm my way inside.

Next

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[disneyprincemuke]

glorious happenings * milo+rocky vault

notes: haha this isn't canon in the current timeline btw i just miss mocky and if you come to my inbox again, just know that i will ignore you so leave me alone before i seriously consider unhinged my jaws to be extra deranged

also, this was supposed to have their first kiss, first date and first fight but well... i got lazy so pls just take what u can get ty

(series masterlist) | (📁 the milo + rocky vault)

the first airport pickup

she chews on the inside of her cheeks, tapping her phone against her palm as she cranes her neck, trying to look past the sea of people significantly taller than her. for a person she barely knows.

a person she’s only spoken with over the internet.

how absurd that a man would fly from the us just to be able to take her out on a date. and how absurd that she didn’t even think twice about offering her apartment up for him instead of making him pay for a hotel.

he’s only in london for her, after all. at the time, it seemed fair — looking back, she’s actually asking to get murdered.

“you know, you’re a lot harder to find in a crowd than i’d expected,” a disembodied voice speaks into her left ear, a looming presence making her jump up and away from this said person. “and you’d think that it wouldn’t be this hard to find one of the cutest girls in an airport in london.”

a laugh fills their bubble as she looks up at him distraught and a hand on her chest. “normal people start with hello to the other person’s face, by the way.”

milo hums, scrunching his nose. “i’ve already flown to london with 2-day’s notice; it felt like we were past acting within the norm.”

“well, a warning would have been nice.” she clenches her jaw, a soft sigh passing her lips as she closes her eyes momentarily. she takes in another deep breath to open her eyes, meeting a wide grin. “how was the flight? are you hungry? i know this really good diner right by my apartment — i reckon you might like it.”

he coos, a pout carving his lips with a hand on his chest. “you’re getting soft, rocks.”

“don’t call me that,” she rolls her eyes, though there’s still a small grin playing on her lips. she grabs the handle of milo’s luggage and starts pushing it. “you’re not at that level of personalised nicknames yet. rocky or my name.”

he gapes at her with a small grin before he picks up his feet to walk with her. “anyway, it’s pretty early. i can drive if you want.”

“no can do,” she whispers, shaking her head, “i’m using my roommate’s car.” she lifts her head to look at him. “i don’t have a car. yet.”

“yet?”

“yeah, i’m actually supposed to pick it up tomorrow afternoon. so i’m going to have to leave you in the apartment with my kids for a little while.” she presses her lips together, suddenly realising that she’d sprung this on him. “if that’s okay, of course. i shouldn’t take more than an hour and–”

milo’s laughs cuts her off. “it’s okay. i’ll make you breakfast.” he snatches his luggage back from her. “thanks for picking me up. i thought of where we could go on a date tonight, actually.”

the first crash

“i told you,” she sighs, holding the phone up to her face, “there wasn’t a need to send me flowers. it wasn’t a serious crash.”

“well, you disappeared on my for 2 days, so i’m guessing it’s serious by some degree,” milo mutters, disappearing from her screen. “how come you’re in oxford and not london? did something happen?”

she gapes wordlessly at the camera, tilting her head. she hasn’t really spoken about the crash to anyone but blythe. “right… you know i live in london.”

“i do. i’ve been there before.” milo’s laugh fills her room as he comes back to the camera. his eyebrows furrow at her frown and slightly teary eyes. “is everything okay, rocks? did something happen?”

she sighs. “yeah. i crashed out during the race and retired — hospital and everything.” milo hums with a nod. “logan and i crashed out during the race.”

“oh.” he wasn’t expecting that. well, he did, but not that she’d crashed out with someone she’s spoken very highly of in the past couple of months they’d known one another. “are you okay? how do you feel?”

“i’m not on painkillers anymore and i finally got the energy to go downstairs by myself,” she rambles, resting her head back on her pillow, “blythe made me breakfast.”

milo blinks. “i mean about your crash with logan. are you guys okay?”

“i guess,” she squeaks, quickly avoiding his stare through the screen.

“so why aren’t you staying in your apartment with logan right now?” she blinks right back at him. the explanation is simple, really, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. “you don’t have to go into detail, but at least don’t say it’s okay when it’s not.”

she nods and clenches her jaw. “we fought, and haven’t spoken since we crashed.”

“ah, alright.” a moment passes. “well, do you wanna watch a movie together if you’re feeling better?”

“that sounds fun. do we get to watch one of your movies?”

“please don’t make me do that.”

“fair.”

the first ‘i love you’

“that was an amazing race, rocks.”

“i can’t believe you made it.” her squeak is high-pitched as she glances over her shoulder, sneaking out from the paddock gates. she wraps her arms around milo’s torso and squeezes him before pulling away. “sorry i didn’t give you my passes. you know, i can’t possibly say ‘no’ to my dad when he wants to watch my race.”

“it was genius asking me to come and watch you — what do you mean? i don’t need the passes,” he grins, swaying in the hug and nuzzling his face into her neck. “my friends and i had fun even if we weren’t in the paddocks.”

she sighs. when she’d put out the idea of him coming in and watching her home race (because she grew up here), she hadn’t actually thought that milo meant it when he said he’ll convince his friends to come along with him.

perhaps she should have expected it from someone who flew to london just to take her out on a date.

“i’ll tell my friends soon, i promise. it’s just–”

“rocks,” milo laughs, shaking his head, “it’s okay. you can tell your friends that whenever.”

she grins, pulling away slightly to look up at him. “so you’re coming to oxford with me tomorrow, right? to meet my parents?”

he grins, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “of course. i’m so excited — came bearing gifts for everyone and everything.”

“that’s so adorable!” she coos, pulling away with a hand on her chest. “i love you, miles, but you really didn’t have to do that.”

a deep chuckle freezes her where she stands, eyes widening as the weight of her words gets to her head. she looks up at milo and shakes her head. “i mean–”

“i love you too, rocks. i wouldn’t be here if i didn’t.” he cups her cheeks, giving her a tender kiss on her lips. “i’ll pick you up tomorrow from your apartment, alright? i’ll drive us to your parents’.”

the first gossip

“rocks, you’re never going to believe what i just heard.” the door creaks open and the young man steps back at the unexpected pairs of eyes he meets. he grins sheepishly. “sorry. should have knocked.”

logan shrugs, shaking his head. “i was just about to head out.”

milo shakes his head, arms spread to block the door. “you’re gonna wanna stay for this, dude. it’s hot, juicy gossip that was relayed to me.”

the girl sits in her beanbag and tilts her head. “who in the right mind would give you gossip willingly? you’re such a blabber mouth.”

“doesn’t that remind you of someone, rocky?” logan turns around sharply to look at her.

she points a finger at logan. “i’m a changed woman. i don’t do that anymore.”

“okay, good for you,” milo scowls. “do you want to hear the gossip or not? it’s pretty interesting.”

“sure?”

“mick’s seeing someone.”

she drops her phone on the carpeted ground of her driver’s room, lips parting in shock. “mick’s what? he told you that?”

“i’ll give it to you this one time, manheim. you were actually right about it being hot and juicy,” logan grins, leaning on the wall behind him with an impressed smile. “did mick tell you anything else?”

“okay, okay,” milo giggles, walking deeper into the room. he drops himself in front of the beanbag that she sits on and places his hands on his knees. “so it’s crazy–” he twists to look at logan. “what are you doing standing there? get in here so i can tell you all that he told me.”

logan lifts his eyebrows and pushes himself off the wall. “oh, i’m included. alright.”

the first night over (at his)

“rocks?”

milo walks out of his bathroom, ruffling his hair with a towel to dry it off. the girl lies comfortably in his bed and a mean glare is thrown his way. “don’t make me get out of bed.”

he points at the bathroom behind him. “i thought you said you wanted to brush your teeth before bed and put on your retainers.”

“i don’t know if you actually need glasses,” she glances at the dog sleeping on her stomach, “but i have a dog sleeping on my stomach.”

he points at her, “i see that. but what about your retainers?”

she sighs. “could you just help me grab them? they’re in the front pockets of my backpack — little pink container with a mclaren and williams’ sticker on it.”

his laugh fills the room as he makes a sharp turn to where her backpack rests in the corner of his bedroom.

“don’t ask about the stickers. i woke up hungover one morning with it on there,” she rolls her eyes. “if you turn it over, there’s a mercedes and a red bull one on the other side. courtesy of mick and liam.”

“do any of them get an andretti sticker to rep you?” milo teases, shaking the retainer’s casing in his hands to show it to her. “and may i get one so everyone knows that my girlfriend is that super cool, super sexy and super beautiful driver?”

she hums, pressing her lips into a thin line. “if you play your cards right, you might even get a special edition rocky hoodie from her merch line.”

“how generous, rocks.”

he hands her the pink casing and she smiles. “still like me even with the retainers on?”

milo kneels on the bed with a smile, pressing a kiss on her cheek. “like?” he snorts. “love you even if you didn’t have teeth.”

“oh, don’t put that image in my head.”

“you’d still look very cute.”

“how would you know that?”

“just imagined it in my head.”

“just shut up, milo.”

the first dnf

the safety car comes to a stop right by the paddocks. the girl mutters a soft ‘thank you’ before immediately pushing the door open to leave.

she has her helmet in her hands as she walks with her head low, jaw clenched as she tries her hardest to contain the sob she feels threatening to come out of her.

if she could, she’d tear down all of the walls around her and scream. but she can’t. because around her are cameras pointed at her with fans gawking as she passes them. it’s not their fault her car couldn’t handle the heat.

she makes a sharp turn for the andretti racing home, head hung low until she opens the glass doors.

“aw, rocks.”

she lifts her head from the ground and sighs heavily, shoulders slumping at the sight of the familiar green eyes she’s been hoping to see when she got into the safety car. she lets the door close behind her, throwing her head back as she closes her eyes. “miles.”

“come here, rocks. i got you.”

she lets out a soft whine as she finally lets out the sob she’s been holding in for the past 10 minutes, running over to where her boyfriend stands by the bottom of the stairs, expecting her.

she sighs exasperatedly as she takes large steps towards him, tears starting to fall out of her eyes. she chokes on her sob as she stumbles into him.

milo wraps his arms protectively around her smaller frame. “it’s okay, rocks. i’m here.”

“it’s so unfair,” she cries into his chest, the material of his shirt bunched up in her hand. “the weekend was doing so well, my. why is it always me?”

“i know, love,” milo hums, resting his cheek on the top of her head. he sways slightly, looking around the room with a mean stare. “it’s not your fault, okay? you have to remember that.”

immediately, all whispers halt and prying eyes are torn away from them. he lifts his arms to shield her face away from the cameras — ones that are very clearly pointed at them through the windows — and huffs.

“that’s the second retirement in a row.” she leans into his body and wraps an arm around milo’s torso. “that’s so fucked up. you should have seen what they were saying about it last week.”

“i know,” he hums softly. “come on, let’s freshen up in your room and i’ll get you some ice-cold pepsi, okay?”

she shakes her head, wiping her nose. “i think i need to be back at the garage to watch the race.”

“let’s get you freshened up first, okay?”

i'm only tagging my #1 mockynation vault @angsthology because i dont wanna be annoying lolsie xoxo

[familyvideostevie]

living high until that fatal day

a/n: i never do this. literally, never. when i'm not here i'm writing stuff that's not x reader for ao3 and this is a fic i posted over there. it's a time loop story about joel and ellie. @bageldaddy told me i had to post it here. without her this fic would not exist. thank you so much, bea. so, here we go. if you read it, thank you. let me know what you think. joel miller & ellie williams gen fic. 7.5k words warnings: Time Loop, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, kind of???, it resolves, Suicide, only in one of the loops!, Canon-Typical Violence, joel gets stuck and has to figure it out, Father-Daughter Relationship, thoughts about sacrifice and love, POV Joel, mostly, this one is kind of intense folks, major character death tag is cause well the loop ends one way or another, gonna diverge at the end, but it ends well!!! i promise, also this is pretty firmly game but hbo folks should be okay!

summary: joel finds himself stuck in a time loop of that day in salt lake city.

Joel lies to her. 

He's got dried blood under his fingernails and his shoulder aches from the kick of the rifle and he's so, so tired. 

But he lies to her. 

If he was a smarter man he'd have thought of something better. Told her that the hospital got raided or they had a FEDRA mole, how the whole thing was a sham from the start. He doesn't know if she was awake for any of it. If the last thing she remembers is him reaching for her and failing to save her. If she remembers what it feels like to drown. 

It's hard to look at her in the mirror but he manages. Just keep driving, hands tight on the wheel. Don't white knuckle, don't spook her. She's in the car. She's safe. He did it. 

"We found the Fireflies," he says. She doesn't look at him. "Turns out there's a...a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that're immune. It's dozens, actually." 

There's a strange pull in his gut, a pull that he's felt a few times before in the moments before everything went south. When the soldier pointed his gun by the river, when Tess looked at him on her last day, when he fell off the ledge in Colorado. But he ignores it. 

"Ain't done a damn bit of good, either. They've actually st--" Ellie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. She doesn't look at him. "They've stopped looking for a cure. I'm takin' us home. I'm sorry."

She turns her back to him and the pull becomes a burn, becomes a black hole under his ribcage taking everything with him. He blinks once, twice, wonders if he got shot and didn't notice, if he cracked a rib and it punctured his lung, if --

The road in front of him disappears. 

He can't see a damn thing -- not like the lights went out, like there is nothing to see. There is nothing in front of him at all.

Then, Joel wakes up yesterday. 

___ 

He jolts awake with a strangled yell. Ellie kneels over him, the rifle he taught her to hold slung over her shoulder. It's just past dawn based on the color of the sky and how he can make out most of her face, her withdrawing hand and her unimpressed but slightly concerned frown. 

"You were talking again," Ellie says. "Nightmares?" 

Joel tears his eyes from her and thunks his head back down on his crumpled up jacket. The trees stretch high above him and he tries to get it together so he doesn't spook her. 

They’re camped within sight of the highway. Salt Lake City has been looming for days now and Joel doesn't want to take any chances. The ring-road is almost clear, dotted here and there with cars and a fair amount of supplies, enough that Joel suspects people haven't been here for some time. If this is another Colorado State situation, he's going to have to put Ellie in a car and take them back to Jackson before she does something stupid.

She's fine. Well, no, not quite. Things aren't the same and they never will be but he can tell she's doing her best and he won't ask more than that. Their pace has slowed this week and he's having a hard time figuring out if she's sliding back into some sort of post-Colorado haze or if she's nervous about actually arriving in Salt Lake. 

God knows he's nervous as hell.

But every day she'll walk as far as he tells her to and won't complain. He knows she wants to get there. They have to get there and it has to work -- because he doesn't know what they're going to do otherwise. 

She asked him a question. Nightmares. Joel sits up and drags his hand down his face.

"Somethin' like that."

Ellie shrugs and starts to clean up their camp now that he's awake. He still hates letting her take watch, but she needs to feel in control of things, so they split it most nights. She hums a little bit as she works and he has hopes that today might be a good day.

But that dream... It comes back in flashes: the giraffes, the tunnel. Ellie hanging from the side of the bus because she jumped to save him, her small frame sinking slowly, just out of reach. The crack of her ribs underneath his hands. The hospital. The Fireflies.

Joel gets up, rolls his shoulder at a phantom pain and looks down at his hands. Crusted with dirt and nothing more. 

Jesus Christ. He's losing it. 

They set off. 

The blue hospital sign seems to shine in the spring sun all too soon.

"This is where we get off. Let's go, kiddo."

Joel talks even though he knows she's not listening. He talks to take his mind off of the echo that sits at the base of his neck with every step. Has he told her he'll teach her guitar before? He's been thinking it for months. 

Ellie trails behind him, kicking rocks and half-heartedly searching cars when he asks her to. She heads for a faded blue sedan but he stops her. 

"Blue one won't open, don't bother." 

The look she gives him makes him think about what he just said. "How do you know that?"

He blinks. How does he know that? Before he can explain it, Ellie shrugs and keeps walking. 

The disinterest is new and it doesn't sit well with him. She's been through a lot, more than any kid deserves, and they're almost there. He figures it's worse today because of that. 

"I dreamt about flying the other night."

Joel's stomach twists. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Go on, tell me about it."

She tells him about her dream, about how it felt to fly and then fall, and he is dizzy with deja vu. 

"I've never been on a plane." Ellie looks at him like he can tell her what it means. Like he has any damn answers at all. "Isn't that weird?"

Joel hums and swallows the lump in his throat. The bus terminal. Ellie, drowning. Firefly after Firefly in his path. His hands flex around a gun that isn't there. 

"Well, you know. Dreams are weird." It tastes like a lie in his mouth but he can't figure out why. 

It gets worse when they find the bus station, when she runs off in search of something that's got her smiling. Her small hand reaches for the giraffe, her eyes bright, but Joel feels like he's watching it through a fog. He knows what she's going to say before she says it. 

"So fucking cool."

Joel has seen a lot of weird shit in his life but whatever is happening here is leagues above the rest. It bumps up against something in his brain, like the answer is just out of reach but he can't fucking get there. Always a step behind when it counts. 

Ellie hands him a picture of his dead daughter and something in him comes dangerously close to snapping. Instead of gratitude or sorrow or anything that would make sense, he's terrified. 

He's fucking terrified because this happened. Which means he knows what comes next. 

But there's no time to worry about it. They pick their way through the tunnel, through the runners and the clickers and the fucking bloaters. The pressure on his neck gets heavier, gets almost unbearable. He's strung tighter than he's been in years, like the walls are closing in on him and there's a timer he can't see. 

When they get to the rapids, he waits for Ellie to get to the other side of the bus until he jumps on it but it dislodges. The dam in his head breaks and he yells, screams at her to run, to leave him, but she jumps on the bus anyway. 

She drowns.

Joel doesn't doubt that the Fireflies are coming -- he hears them --  but he doesn't take his eyes off of her, doesn't stop the chest compressions until he's knocked out.

The rest of it is a blur, his sense of reality already warped by his need to get to the operating room. To save her. 

Joel picks them off one by one, floor by floor, hardly taking note of how familiar it all feels. He doesn't even give the surgeon a chance to speak before he's dead, a bullet between the eyes. He knows they'll make it to the elevator. He kills Marlene. He drives them away.

He lies. 

He wakes up yesterday again.

___

It takes a few days before Joel purposely deviates from what he's thinking of as the script. His head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds when he wakes in the clearing, Ellie's eyes on him.

He thinks about it as they pack up camp. Can he get them out of here? Would that be allowed? The rules of this aren't clear to him but he figures it can't hurt to try. They could turn around right now and make it back to Jackson in a week or so. 

He watches Ellie carefully arrange her things in her bag, watches her stop to admire a butterfly in the branches above. He watches her and tries to see her alive and not pale on an operating table. 

"Ellie," he says. "I got a bad feelin' about this."

She loves to tell him he's overreacting but today she crosses her arms and sits back on her heels. "What do you mean?"

Her scream as she falls into the water. Her ribs cracking beneath his hands. The piercing alarm in the hospital, her body warm but limp in his arms.

"What if we waited?" She frowns but he keeps going. "Went back to Jackson, rested up. Took a break. Come back in a few months with a bit of a crew. Tommy'll give us some guys, hell, I bet he'll come with if you want --"

"No," Ellie says sharply. There's an edge to her voice he hasn't heard in a long time. "Joel, shut up."

"Ellie --"

She stands abruptly, takes a few steps back. "I said no."  The look on her face tells Joel he's already lost. "Are you -- are you fucking kidding me? You want to go back? Now?"

He sighs. "Just to rest up. We don't know what we're walking into --"

Ellie throws her hands around in disbelief. Her eyes look wet. Christ, he's made her cry again. He promised himself he wouldn't do that. 

"We don't know if they'll still be there."

"We don't know if they are there."

"And we won't find out if we fucking run away like cowards!"

Joel stands. "I don't want another Colorado State situation, Ellie --" Her face shutters. Mistake. 

"Don't bring up Colorado," she growls. "You don't know what that was like." 

Damn right he doesn't. He knows by now what happened but he'll never know how hard it was for her to survive when he was busy dying on that mattress. But he has to try something or they'll just end up here again tomorrow. Yesterday. Whatever. 

The idea of her suffering makes his hackles rise, makes his blood run cold

. 

"Can I finish a god damned sentence?" he snaps. Ellie is undeterred and snaps back.

"Not if it's going to be about leaving. We-- I -- we're not fucking leaving. Not after everything. We can't."

Joel sighs and drags a hand down his face. This girl. He's trying to save her and she can't see it. There's no way to make her see it and it's his fault. She should know by now that he'd do anything, anything, for her. He lost that battle a long time ago, probably longer ago than he'd like to admit. 

"I know," he tells her. "Just...if you want to give it all up, to go back, we can. We don't have to go through with this."

Ellie's eyes are blazing and her tone is disappointed. It cuts deep. "Yes we do. I thought you'd understand that, Joel."

He follows her this time as she stalks down the highway towards the hospital. No mention of six strings, no dreams about planes. They catch the giraffes but she doesn't stick around to watch them for as long. It's a different kind of loss to be without her smile, her laughter. Joel wishes he'd never opened his god damned mouth. 

"I'm sorry," he says. "For earlier." Ellie pauses on the stairs and half turns to look up at him. "I know it's important to you."

She sighs. "I know you mean well." Joel closes his eyes. He knows what comes next. "But there's no halfway with this. Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want, okay?"

He plays his part for the rest of the day, just to get it over with. 

___

Next time, Joel waits until they're watching the giraffes to try something different. 

"So," he says. "This everything you were hoping for?"

Ellie gives him her half-smile. "It's got its ups and downs, but...you can't deny that view, though."

He seizes his chance. "Wanna go down there?" 

She perks up. "Really? Do you think they'll let us get close?"

"They might. Let's try." 

They manage to backtrack a little bit and end up on the field. It smells like a zoo but Ellie is thrilled to be so close so they post up on the roof of a rusty FEDRA Jeep. Two of the giraffes end up eating out of the tree right above them. Ellie holds her breath. 

"They just...don't care, do they?" she whispers. "How long do you think they've been here?"

She leans into his side and cranes her neck to watch one of them use its tongue. 

"Don't know," he says. "Big ones could've been from before. But the tiny one s'probably younger than you."

"So cool," she says again. "They're from a zoo, right? I wonder if anything else lives in the city."

They've been sitting here long enough that the sun has started to set. Joel allows himself to hope. 

"Might be. What do you say we spend the night here and look on the way to the hospital tomorrow? Daylight'll do us better."

Ellie chews on his suggestion. "I guess," she says. "Are we safe here?"

"Should be." Joel has no idea, frankly. He sure as hell wants them to wake up here in the morning. He wants to make good on this idea, wants to show her something else that'll make her smile. He wants this to be a bizarre, unexplainable day that he'll forget about with time.

"I'll keep watch."

They set up camp crowded against the fence so Joel can see the whole field. The giraffes leave them alone and Ellie falls asleep quickly after they eat.

In the quiet open air the dread in his gut returns full-force and he knows he's wrong. Again.

A branch cracks and he whirls around, rifle in hand to find three men pointing their guns at him through the wire. They might be wearing Firefly jackets but he can't tell. He doesn't care. Joel dares to look at Ellie for a second and sees she's still asleep. 

It's a mistake.

One of them follows his gaze and his eyes widen.

"Holy shit," he whispers. "She looks like who Marlene said --"

"Shut up," the second one hisses. "On the ground, old man."

"How are you gonna get around that fence, hotshot?" he says. "Ellie. Ellie, wake up."

She blinks a few times and sees his stance. scrambling to her feet with her knife in hand.

"Holy shit. What the fuck?"

"Get behind me."

One of the soldiers points his gun at her. 

"Don't move."

It's chaos after that. The guys shout at each other. 

"Don't point it at her! Don't you remember the fucking briefing?"

"You hadn't even joined when we got here, you don't know. We've been looking for her for months --"

"If you shoot her we're all dead --"

Joel locks eyes with Ellie.

"When I say run, you run. Okay?" 

The fear in her eyes turns to determination. Brave girl, he thinks. I'm sorry. He waits for the idiot pointing at her to look away and takes a deep breath. What's one more day?

"Run!"

Joel doesn't check to see if she obeys before firing through the fence. The rifle is incredibly powerful at such a short range and where there was once a head there's only mist. Joel clears the chamber as fast as he can and gets the second one in the shoulder but he's not fast enough for a third and before he realizes it he's on his back in the grass. 

The Firefly's assault rifle litters Joel's chest with bullets but he doesn't feel it until he tries to take a breath and nothing comes. It's like he's underwater.

At least he didn't make her cry this time.

__

Joel isn't much of a believer in anything but he decides fairly quickly that he's in Hell or something close. God knows he deserves it. 

His sins are countless, his ledger dripping with red just like his hands. They will never be clean. What he can't figure out is how he got here. Did he die somewhere in St. Mary's? Is the real world somewhere else beyond his reach, now? If he died then what happened to Ellie?

He tries to make tallies in the bark of a tree on the edge of camp but they disappear every time he wakes up. He makes do with his own slowly unspooling brain. Two, five, ten.

Ellie is much the same every time but somewhere around day twenty she asks him about it. "How do you know where everything is?"

They're in the bus depot before the tunnel. He's taking them quickly around the tents, putting off Ellie handing him a photo of his dead daughter. It's muscle memory at this point. A pair of pliers here, some rags there. A half-empty but uncracked bottle of hooch behind that blood-stained bed, some bullets under that overturned partition. 

"Just payin' attention."

"I pay attention!"

Joel uses the excuse to grin at her. It's hard sometimes to remember that she has no idea what's coming, that he can and should be good to her every chance he gets. The violence has already started to blur together in his mind. Killing everyone in the hospital is by far the easiest part of this fucking loop. These parts are harder. 

"Didn't say you don't."

"I feel like that was a double negative."

She's still energized from the giraffes and he knows she's working up the courage to talk about Sarah, but right now he wants to spend time with her. He spots the Firefly medal tangled in the shattered floodlight and points it out. 

"Ellie," he says. She's at his side in seconds, looking up at him with eyes brighter than he's seen in weeks. "Wanna get that down?"

She gives him her classic why are you like this look. "Are you going to be weird and pick it up?"

Joel shrugs and leans on the rotting tank nearby. "Just want to check your aim."

"My aim is really fucking good and you know it!" Even so, she picks up a brick from her feet and palms it, eyeing the silver circle before winding her arm back and hurling the brick towards it. 

She misses. Maybe three hundred miles and a trail of dead bodies ago she'd have stormed off, embarrassed and pissed. But she just makes a face at the still-swinging medal and then looks at him. "How did I miss that?"

He pushes off the tank and scoops up a glass bottle. "Sun s'probably in your eyes." Joel stands next to her and eyes the target, trying to compensate in his mind for her height. "Stand here." Ellie moves over in front of him and he hovers his arm over her. "Can I?"

She nods. Joel presses the bottle into her hand and she takes it as he maneuvers her with a hand on her elbow until she's got the trajectory he thinks will work. 

"Now?" she asks. "Feels pretty fucking similar to what I was doing."

"Just trust me. Throw a little lighter than last time. And higher."

Ellie sighs, but once he steps back she does as he says and nails the medal hard enough that it drops to the ground. She whoops and turns around, hands high in the air and a wide smile on her face. Joel tries to breathe through how easily she puts her faith in him. 

"Fuck yeah! Did you see that?" She holds both hands out for a high five and he obliges. 

"Sure did. Nice job, kiddo."

When Ellie hands him the picture of Sarah, he pulls her in for a hug. He half expects her to shove him off but instead she allows it, twisting her hands in his shirt as he cups the back of her head. 

"Thank you," Joel says quietly, thickly. 

Later, when he finds her on the operating table, he presses his lips to her forehead for an extra moment before picking her up and heading for the elevator. 

__

He messes with the order of things a little bit. Tries to make their morning last longer, tries to stay watching the giraffes for an hour or so. 

Sometimes it works. 

Sometimes it doesn't. 

Watching Ellie drown over and over fucks with his head more than the hospital does because he can't stop it. At least while he's leaving behind corpse after corpse he knows that she's asleep upstairs, waiting for him. In the tunnel, he knows that the only way out is through, but she has to fucking drown first. 

He gets sloppy. 

He forgets about the runners in the side rooms when he ducks in to avoid a clicker and takes a step too close. Ellie is behind him as always and he shoves her back blindly as three runners slam him against the metal railing of the stairs before he can reach for his gun. He's too surprised to feel anything, but their breath smells like rotting meat and something worse, something that makes his eyes water. 

Joel searches the room for her and finds her -- pale-faced and terrified, already reaching for her knife. He tries to say her name but it comes out as a scream when one of the runners goes for his shoulder, jagged teeth ripping through his shirt in an instant. 

"Ellie -- run, Ellie -- GO --" He begs her to leave him but his voice stops working as his throat is ripped out. The last thing he sees is her horrified face as she raises her pistol.

And then he wakes up yesterday. 

___

It occurs to him on day 30 -- if he's keeping track accurately -- that he's got one of the smartest people he knows at his disposal. Kid's got an encyclopedic knowledge of space as well as science fiction stories. He asks her while they're still on the highway, stalling though he can see the blue H sign from here.

"Y'ever read stuff about time?" No reply. "Ellie?" She's staring at that deer again. "Ellie."

"What?" 

"You read any stories about time back in school?"

"Uh, sure," she says. She tugs her sleeves over her hands and catches up to him, eyes on the ground. "Why?"

"Saw a weird movie 'bout it once. Somethin' reminded me of it this mornin'. Guy gets stuck in a...shit, what did they call it?" Joel peeks inside an RV and smells rot so he leaves it be. "He lives the same day over and over."

"A time loop!" Ellie sounds more excited about this than anything they've talked about for days. "Those are so fucking cool. Scary, though. I feel like I'd go crazy."

Joel drags a hand down his face. "Yeah," he says. "How do you think you get outta one?"

"Well, how did the guy in the movie do it?"

"He stopped bein' an asshole," he says. Ellie laughs. 

"Well, we know that's not possible for you. Guess you're fucked."

"Guess so," he mutters. 

The H sign is close enough that she'll see it any minute. He wishes for the hundredth time that they could just stay out here all day, just talking. If he had a guitar he'd play for her. If he had a fucking car he'd put her in it and turn around, even though it wouldn't do any good. They'd just end up right back here because he can't fucking figure out how to get out of this. 

"I think you just have to change, right?" Ellie says. She's looking at the photo of an airplane on the bus. This time she doesn't tell him about her dream. Is he losing pieces of her, already? "I guess it doesn't have to be about yourself. Maybe something you do, or something you say. It's the universe telling you to make a different choice, right?"

That's the fucking thing. The choice isn't an option. It's not even a choice. 

The one thing he hasn't tried and will not try is leaving the hospital when Marlene tells him to. He'd rather die a thousand times, rather live this shit show over and over for the rest of eternity than let them cut her brain out. They will not touch her while there is still breath in his body. 

He'd do it all over again. He will.

__

Joel tries a hundred things and they don't work. 

After his conversation with Ellie he decides to really fuck with the day. Doesn't matter, right? So long as she's not put in any extra danger he considers it. He begs her to walk away, get on his knees and pleads with her throughout the day. Doesn't work. She just gets pissed at him like that first time and he doesn't push it because he can't bear to see her cry. He lengthens their morning in the clearing, fakes sick or says the rifle is jammed and needs cleaning. That goes south, too, when a pack of runners wanders through the woods and straight into them. They make it to the highway and have to miss the giraffes because they're running. 

One time Joel spends all day zig-zagging them around the city to avoid the tunnel. The Fireflies find them much the same way except they shoot him on sight and grab Ellie right out of his arms as he bleeds out on the cracked asphalt, her screams echoing in his ears. 

Another time, he ties them together in the tunnel with some fraying rope and they both drown. 

Killing Marlene early gets him a bullet in the head and not killing her at all gets him back where he started, no change. 

Joel even begs the doctor to run more tests first, to try blood, to try anything, but it takes too long and the alarm sounds and he's cornered in the operating room before he can grab Ellie and go. 

Nothing fucking works. 

But what is there left to change?

__

His mind starts to fray. He loses count of the loops and it becomes hard to detach himself from the slaughter. Not even the good moments -- Ellie's laughter, the awe in her face when she sees the giraffes, her jokes and her muted but still sharp sarcasm -- keep him afloat. He's lost, adrift in a sea of blood and bullets and it starts to eat away any humanity that was left in him. 

The blood of hundreds, thousands maybe, is on his hands and he feels nothing.

Once and only once does he get there too late. Everything else goes like it always does but maybe he took too long on the first floor, maybe he took too long picking the guys one by one instead of using the assault rifle, maybe maybe maybe. 

When Joel gets to the pediatric ward he knows something is different -- he can hear a buzzing sound, something loud and unnatural. The stale air is thick with something metallic, tinged with death. The buzzing stops and he finds his feet glued to the floor outside the operating room. Voices on the other side of it, murmuring and the clink of metal on a tray. Joel's hand shakes when he reaches for the knob because he knows whatever he finds on the other side is going to kill him. 

But he opens it because he has to. The doctor is at the sink this time, the nurses nowhere to be found. Ellie's body is covered in a sheet, blood seeping through the fabric. Joel looks away. He just stands there, his heartbeat loud in his ears as the world ends. 

The first time his daughter died, Joel thought he could will it not to be so. He held her as long as he could, whispered her name with her blood drying on his hands until Tommy begged him to get moving. 

This time, he knows it's true and he knows there's only one ending. 

He raises his gun at the doctor who is now leaning on the edge of the sink. The door swings open and the nurses return, eyes wide and vibrating with the energy of a job well done. He swings over to them and kills them both with quick headshots. The doctor has barely turned around when he's dead, too.

Joel breathes, ears ringing. He manages one step closer to the operating table but his knees buckle and he goes down hard on the cool tile. His vision is blurry. Is he crying?

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." He angles himself so he won't get any blood on her and then presses the barrel of his gun to his temple and pulls the trigger. 

__

If Joel was on the edge of losing his mind before, now he's laser focused. He doesn't pull any more shit. He settles back into the loop, savoring Ellie's laughter with the giraffe and gunning down every sorry motherfucker in his way at the hospital. He will not get there late ever again. 

So when Marlene says something different the next time around and he almost misses it.

Ellie is dead weight in his arms but she's warm and he can see the rise and fall of her chest. The hospital was messier than usual because he rushed this time, cutting down the Fireflies like it was his last stand. There's blood in his hair and crusted under his fingernails and his shirt is beyond ruined. 

"Are you going to tell her what happened here?" Marlene presses her hand into her side, blood leaking from around her crimson palm. "Are you going to tell her what you did?"

He lies to her.

Every time.

It's never occurred to him to try something else. Even though he's changed almost everything about this damn day except that. 

Because Joel knows what happens if he tells the truth. He knows what that will cost him.

And he doesn't know if he'll survive it.

He's afraid. Joel doesn't want to lose her and if that makes him selfish then so be it. He wants to take her back to Jackson and give her a bedroom of her own and as many stupid comics as she wants and three meals a day for the rest of her long, peaceful life. He wants her to grow up and grow old. 

He'd kill a thousand more Fireflies to make it happen.

He'd damn the whole world. 

Because he loves her and it fucking hurts. 

This girl and her puns and her comics and her god damned bravery and her bleeding heart. He doesn't want to lose her. 

But is this, whatever this endless hell is, is it fair to her? 

If it's breakable, if he has the ability to get them to tomorrow, to get them to Jackson, to get them home, shouldn't he? If he loves her shouldn't he give her a life even if he's not in it?

Joel gently arranges Ellie in the backseat and shoots Marlene in the head. 

__

For a few seconds Ellie thinks she's in the car on the way into Pittsburgh. The hum of the old engine, the rocking motion of the truck. But -- wait. She's lying down. The car smells...musty. And she's cold like she's wearing a dress and --

"What the hell am I wearing?"

She flutters her eyes open. Different truck. Backseat. Is she in a...hospital gown? What the fuck? Where is she?

"Just take it easy," Joel says. Okay, so she's with Joel. Something in her chest settles. She must be safe. "Drugs are still wearin' off."

Drugs? Ellie pushes back into her memory and tries to find something, anything that'll give her a clue as to what's going on here. They were in the bus tunnel. The water was rushing, Joel jumped on the bus and it started moving and she...fell into the water? 

It's a blur after that. More of a blank, really. Did they get to the hospital? Did they find the Fireflies? Based on her weird fucking outfit it sure seems like it.

"What happened?"

Joel's eyes flick up in the rearview mirror to look at her. "Let's get you into some clothes, first. Then we'll take a break and I'll tell you everythin'."

He sounds tired. More tired than he's ever sounded, frankly, but she can't imagine why. And he can't seem to stop looking at her like she's going to disappear. Like he hasn't seen her in ages. 

"Okay," she says slowly. "Where the hell are we going to get those?" 

"Your bag is on the floor by your feet." Joel veers off the highway down an exit ramp and Ellie sits up. Her head feels light for a second and then really heavy so she braces her hands on the seat in front of her and takes a few deep breaths. "You okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah. Fucking...drugs, I guess. What'd they do that for?"

"They ran some tests. We'll talk about it."

Normally she'd push him but something feels off. Ellie tries to get a good look at his face but she can't, not from this angle, and not with her head fucking pounding like it is. She's missing so much time. It makes her skin crawl, makes her heart race. Joel is here, she tells herself. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. 

He parks them at the edge of a cemetery and gets out of the car to stand guard while she changes out of the gown. Her last pair of jeans, apparently, and a grey t-shirt with a few holes in the collar. She wishes she had a sweatshirt or something to wrap around herself, to pull over her hands and feel covered. But beggars can't be choosers. At least someone put her shoes in her backpack. 

Joel doesn't turn around when she opens the door but she sees him stiffen. 

"I'm done." He looks back at her and she finally sees his face. "Jesus Christ, Joel, what happened to you?"

It's not just the blood. Sure, he's got dried streaks of it on his neck and in his hair. Ellie glances at his hands and sees it crusted under his fingernails, too. But he looks wrecked. Older, somehow. He looks like something terrible happened, the way she remembers his face when he fell from the balcony in Colorado, when he found her in the burning restaurant. But somehow it's worse. 

He's looking at her like he can't believe she's real. 

"Alright." Joel lowers the rifle and ignores her question, clearly. "Didn't see anythin'. Should be fine to sit here for a bit."

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?"

He moves like he's going to drag a hand down his face but thinks better of it. "Yeah," he says. "I am." 

Ellie swings her legs so they're hanging out the door. Joel leans the rifle against the truck and crosses his arms. "You're making me kind of nervous, man."

"Just...promise me you'll hear me out to the end."

Yeah, something is going on. She doesn't like it. 

"Uh, sure."

"What do you remember?" 

Good fucking question. "The tunnel. The bus and -- water. I fell in, right?"

Joel nods, clears his throat. "Jumpin' on the bus was dumb. Don't do that again." 

She snorts. "Yeah, okay. Point taken. But I was afraid you were going to drown!"

"You did." He delivers the news in a flat tone she doesn't like. She drowned?

"Are you serious?"

"I got us out of the water and tried to get you breathin' again." Ellie realizes her chest is sore. She imagines Joel doing compressions like they showered her in school, imagines his panicked face, his hoarse voice calling her name. Fuck.

"Did it work?"

"No," he says. "Fireflies found us first and knocked me out." 

"That doesn't make sense." She frowns. "They knocked you out?"

Joel shrugs. "Just tellin' you what happened."

This isn't how she imagined it would go. She never told Joel, but for weeks she's been thinking about waltzing up to the hospital and telling them who she is. She pictured Joel telling her jokes while she got her blood drawn, pictured him staring down nurses and doctors while they made the cure. She figured it would take a few days, maybe a week, and then they'd be on their way back to Jackson. She had hoped Marlene might be there, too. She has so many questions about her mom. 

"What did they do with me?"

Joel looks troubled. "I...don't exactly know. It was a while before I saw you again."

It makes her skin crawl. He must be able to tell because he keeps talking. "I'm sure they just ran some tests while you were out. They brought you back, made sure you were breathin' okay."

"Tests?"

"I'm gettin' there." She feels like he's having a hard time looking at her. Something close to but not quiet dread sits heavy in her stomach. What happened?

"Joel..."

"I woke up inside the hospital. Marlene was there. Told me they didn't know it was us, that they'd been waiting." He pauses, drags a hand down his face. "You didn't wake up or nothin'? You sure?"

Ellie shakes her head. She doesn't remember anything after the tunnel. 

"Well, she told me they could do it. They had a doctor who could make the cure."

The air rushes out of Ellie all at once. "Are you fucking serious?"

"And then she said..." Joel chews on his words and looks away from her. He looks angry. 

"What did she say?"

"Makin' a vaccine...would've killed you."

The bottom drops out of Ellie's world. It's like a hundred doors in her brain open at once. 

It would have killed her? Are they sure? Did they do enough tests? Were they going to? Why didn't they wake her up? Were they going to ask her? How did they get out?

She swallows them all and manages just one in a broken whisper. "What did you do?"

Joel looks right at her. "I stopped them."

If Ellie wasn’t already sitting down she thinks her legs would give out. She knows that Joel meant what he said to her in Silver Lake. Knows that he'd do anything for her.

But this?

"What do you mean?" He shakes his head. "Joel. What do you mean, you stopped them?"

His shoulders slump. "They told me to leave and I refused. And I made sure no one can follow us to try again."

Static builds in her ears. She can read between the lines. She speaks Joel now. He killed them all, that much is clear to her. He killed them all, Marlene, too, probably, because she was supposed to die to save the world. Hot tears sting her nose and gather at the corner of her eyes. 

"But I -- but we -- I was supposed to...I'm the cure!"

"You're a person. You're a kid. Don't matter what's in your brain, you ain't dyin' for --"

Ellie pushes out of the truck and to her feet. Joel steps back to give her room but she knows he probably wants to touch her, to reassure her. The anger fills her, makes her face hot and her heart race. 

"Who said you get to make that choice? If they said I had to die maybe I should have? Then it would mean something --"

"Your immunity ain't the thing that matters most. You are. So I picked you," Joel yells.

She's really crying now, huge heaving sobs that make it hard to talk, make it hard to convey how angry she is. "Well, you picked wrong, asshole."

"I ain't gonna apologize for it. I'd do it all over again, the exact same way. Every time." Joel's expression is as serious as it gets. He used to look this way all the time. No nonsense, no room for argument. 

She tries to find the words anyway but they don't come.

"Now, you've got some options here," he says. "I think the best one is for us to go back to Jackson. I know Tommy'll take you in, and --

She laughs, or tries to. 

It sounds like something bitter and awful to her own ears. First he tells her she was supposed to die today and now he wants to leave her?

"Are you fucking serious, Joel? You want to leave me again?" 

Joel's brows pinch together. He looks pained. Good. It feels like her chest is caving in, like her lungs aren't working right anymore. This must be what it felt like to drown in the bus terminal, to sink slowly, to fade away entirely. She read once that drowning was supposed to be peaceful. This hurts. 

"I want you to be safe," he says. "Jackson is the best place for that. I don't have to be there if you don't want me there --"

"I didn't fucking say that!" she yells. "I -- Jesus, give me a fucking second, okay?"

He stands by the door as she paces back and forth, tugging her hands through her hair. 

She was supposed to die. But she didn't. There's no cure. And it sure fucking sounds like Joel didn't leave any option to try again. 

He traded saving the world for her. 

It's too much.

"What do you want, Ellie?" Joel sounds like he's been awake for days. Like he's in pain, like he's being hollowed out. He sounds like how she feels. 

She digs the heels of her hands into her eyes. 

"I want none of this to have happened! I want us to go back to this morning and I want us to not have gone into the bus tunnel and I want you to have asked for tests first, I want them to try something else. I want Marlene to tell me why they didn't wake me up. I want to do it again but differently, I want things to be different, I --"

Her words break off into a sob. "Ellie..." She opens her eyes and finds him reaching for her. His shirt is stained with dried blood but she steps into his hold and his arm wraps around her. 

"I don't know what to do, now," she whispers.

Joel exhales a shaky breath. "I know you wish things were different. I wish things were different. But they ain't."

They stand there, his hand dragging up and down her back. She listens to his heartbeat and remembers those nights in the basement when she thought it would stop any minute. 

"Fuck," she whispers, then pulls away. He lets her go. "Fuck, Joel."

He sighs. "Yeah, kiddo. Fuck."

He told her the truth and that means something. It hurts, it hurts so bad, and it doesn't absolve him of anything, but that matters. 

"I'm so angry with you," she says. "I don't know how to forgive you for...for...saving me." 

It sounds stupid as she says it but Joel nods solemnly. 

"That's alright." 

"But I..." She wants to get this part right. "Let's go back. To Jackson. We'll figure it out there. But you...you have to swear to tell me the truth. Just like this. We have to be honest with each other."

Joel meets her gaze without blinking. "I swear."

Ellie takes a deep breath. The anger, the horror, the disbelief at what he's done settle a little bit. She has no clue what comes next, but this is a start. 

"Okay."

__

Joel wakes up. 

His back hurts and his shoulder aches. It's dark, darker than it should be, darker than it's been for hundreds of days.

Ellie is asleep in the backseat of the truck. 

It's tomorrow. 

thank you for reading. let me know what you thought!

[violetszone]

Legacy To Us

(In memory of Jules Bianchi)

Charles x fem!Jules' daughter!reader

From this request

Summary: Charles dedicated himself to you after Jules died, and this article tells the story of it...

WARNINGS: angst, fluff, not edited writing...(mostly angst)

A/n: I want you to know that if you think about making a request on this subject by overcoming this request, I will gladly write it...

Your father, Jules Bianchi, whom you never knew but loved and missed so much. You were only 2 months old when your father had this crash, both of your birthdays were on the same day, you were born like a gift to everyone's heart.The thing that upset your mother Camille the most was that you never knew your father and he only had the chance to hug you a few times.

You were 11 months old when your father died, but it was very difficult for your mother to take care of you alone, of course, the Leclercs promised to protect and watch over you as a whole family, they love you unconditionally.

Especially Charles still sometimes he remembers the first time he saw you in the hospital Charles was allowed to hold you when they came to visit the hospital the day after your birth, and from that moment on, Charles realized that you would be his whole life, and from that moment you had him wrapped around your little fingers.

You made Charles' life easier after Jules' death Charles was thanking and praying to Jules  for leaving behind a beautiful angel like you even though he was gone.The fact that a part of Jules was still alive made the pain bearable for Charles.

Charles saw so much Jules in you your dark eyes, your curly brown hair and your angelic face that looks like your mother.Despite all the attention and love from those around you, you grew up to be a quiet and kind child, even a little shy around people you don't know.But that has changed since you turned 5 and drove a kart for the first time.

Charles never forced you into this, it was your idea, you might even have pushed him a little bit, it would have been hypocritical to have forbidden it when he drives  F1 cars for a living. God when he sees your smile and the way putting your helmet down it was all worth it.After the kart, as you ran towards the Leclerc family, your boxer braided hair, (which Charlotte had braided for you like every time you came out of the kart), swayed in the wind. Charles was convinced that no matter how many women came into or out of his life, you were his soul mate.

While he was thinking about this, you came running and hugged him, he looked down at you and smiled and hugged you.You were everything to this 21-year-old man and he was very happy about it, when he saw you racing in the kart he realized how much you looked like your father again.And at that moment, everything passed through his eyes like a film strip the first time he held you, your first words, your tears, your laughter.

You pressed a finger on the contemplative Charles's cheek, he looked at you smiled and kissed your cheek.With every age you grew up, his love for you grew twice as much.As long as Charles was near, you almost never yearned for a father, of course you dreamed of growing up with Jules, but Charles was with you every moment and he was like a brother and a father to you, you really admired him.You knew he would do anything for you and it was comforting.

You grew up aware of everything. Even though it seems like a big word for a 5-year-old girl, you didn't know if you would have been such a happy child if Charles wasn't there. The things your mother could give you were limited, but your father's family and Leclercs especially Charles took care of you very much and for that reason you were grateful to them.

[a-twistedheartslonging]

So! Everything I’ve learned about spooders is from my aunt Angie, and Exotic Lair on YouTube and now I’m talking about Idia!

Spiders rub their thorax with their legs to kick their little hairs at predators or enemies, they actually get irritated really quickly (no I personally haven’t had kicked hairs in my arms, but my Auntie has and we had to drive her to the hospital cause the topical ointments were causing an allergic reaction) so all I’m picturing is if you scare Idia, and his back to you he kicks his hairs at you. Make sure to knock before entering his room! Nobody makes this mistake twice…

Some tarantelas keep small frogs in a symbiotic relationship where the frog protects the spiders eggs, and the spider protects the frog, so honestly…Ortho is a frog boy. Maybe not a full frog boy but like he wears froggy outfits. He has a bucket hat with the frog eyes, and everything!

Spiders use their webs as an extended sense of touch, so as much as I want to say Idia uses his webbing for wiring and electronics, I’m worried he would electrocute himself…he probably does periodically and you and Ortho yell at him to STOP! This is the third time!

Spiders HATE blowing air and wind, so he uses it as an excuse to avoid the outdoors. « It’s so windy out though! » it actually can cause overstimulation for them, and they can get sick from too much wind! So windy days I bet he gets a bit of a fever every time. His little hairs also shake to try and calm down. He looks like he’s vibrating

So there are burrowing spiders (which are the ones I know about) and arborils (or the tree livers…) and since he prefers the indoors, he would be a burrower! Also cause then I can talk about him! Also cause he would prefer the dark, damp, and he would totally burrow into his blanket fort, and his super fluffy hoodie!

After he molts he’s SUPER pretty, as all spiders are! They’re so vibrant and bright blue. I bet Idia would be a cobalt blue tarantula, and if Ortho is a spider, I bet he would be a rose hair. Rose hairs are best for beginners, as they’re pretty docile, and just live and let live, while cobalts choose violence more often. Rose hairs also choose violence, but more as a last resort. Both kick hairs, but cobalts also bite…

So spiders teeth are actually like straws (if I’m remembering correctly) so just picture him crunching a soda can and he sucks it all down! Just a SHLURP, and he’s hydrated! But I bet he still likes the crunch of chips. (Weird asmr too look for is tarantula feeding! Don’t watch if you have a weak stomach)

Spiders don’t have bones and use more of a hydrolic system to move, with their heart pushing blood into each leg to move forward then pull it back. So I say Idia has very few bones, or none, and his human torso is highly flexible. Without his exo he would be very bendy.

Spiders have retractable claws AND PAW PADS! They only have two of each on each food, so 16 paw pads to squish! But spider pads are different from other animals, as they have tiny hairs that help them stick to things and climb. (Once scientists found web residue in spider foot prints so they were like « they stick by excreting webbing from their feet! » and another groupe was like « bet, there is webbing everywhere! How do you know they’re not trailing it like toilet paper?» and covered a spiders butt with wax to keep the environment more clean, and there was no webbing there! I love science beef) his little feet’s are still probably sticky from webbing, so use a baby wipe or something to clean him up.

Males leave their burrows to go try and see if someone wants to mate (I’m not going into how they have to carry their little sperm web bag with them, because yes they have to take the sperm and put it into basically a little bag to put in the female!) so only when he’s actually interested does he start to leave his room for you! He helps clean up ramshackle I bet! Or uses robots to help clean it…

Different breeds have different mating styles, but the peacock spider does a little dance, shaking his butt around and he’s like « please, please, please, please plea-«  or they also tap a little pattern on the females webbing to see if she’s willing,

Spiders don’t have genders until I think their third molt, and that’s just a free fun fact!

So many cute and interesting things.

I think of Ortho being a dif creature from his brother. Maybe cuz of their parents are dif creatures with one being a spider and the others something else or current or past ortho was a spider but always wanted to be something different so Idia decided to be a cool bro and make him a body that lets him be whatever he wants.

So, imagine he has all these diff creature bods. Dog, bunny, frog, bee, spooder, and whatever else.

Part of me thinks Idia helping to clean would just him picking you up under the arms like a cat and lifting you to reach things which would be so funny to see.

It would be cute if Yuu kept baby wipes with them and helped Idia keep those spider feeties clean when he needs it.

It would be pretty freaking cool Seeing Idia do the soda can thing, i feel like he would try not to do it around you at first but forgets but then you act all impressed and tell him it's cool and he's flustered.

Poor Idia on those windy days. Makes me think of that orange cat that hates the beach cuz it was windy.

He makes that face whenever it gets windy.

Hmmm the hairs though...in this AU I think of the hairs he has being soft of fluffy baby they get stiff when scared so he can do that thing, or it becomes that way cuz magic.

....I'm just picturing him doing his scared yelling while doing it and I can't stop laughing. It's just such a silly mental image and I love it.

Thank you for all the information and Ideas, I love them.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 05 -> CH 06

"Didn't you say you had already befriended your neighbors daughter?" "I'd hardly call us friends. She doesn't know I'm crazy yet."

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl

"How is your sleep? Is it leveling out or are you still experiencing fatigue?" Jack stretched out in front of the computer screen and yawned.

"It's still weird. Some days I'm too exhausted to function. Other days I work my ass off to clear out the house but when I finally lay down, I just can't shut my mind off." Jack explained.

"What goes through your mind when you find yourself unable to sleep?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"Everything...nothing at all...I think about what I might do the next day or working on the book but then I'm too exhausted to even sit in the chair." Jack was growing annoyed with how his meds made him like a zombie. His brain was far too developed to not be able to use it during the day time.

"How about your appetite? Are you eating regularly?" Jack hated having to explain that he was miserable because his body required these meds to stay sane.

"Not as often as I should. Most of that is because I haven't done the grocery shopping yet. I have to put in an order." Jack listened to the hum come from the doctor.

"Have you thought about maybe going to the grocery store? Getting out among the people just to explore." Jack laughed.

"Yeah I'm not sure I have the energy for that. Maybe if I go late at night but I don't want to mingle just yet." Jack couldn't imagine having to walk through the grocery store having people stare at him or offer condolences that are empty and way too late. He wouldn't mind running into Y/n but that's a different story.

"Didn't you say you had already befriended your neighbors daughter?" Dr. Carty questioned making notes.

"I'd hardly call us friends. She doesn't know I'm crazy yet." Jack explained with a self deprecating laugh.

"You aren't crazy Jack. People live completely normal lives with mental illness. It's like any other illness and you are taking the steps towards a bit more normalcy." Dr. Carty had been with Jack since he checked into the facility. He felt like Jack absolutely needed to be hospitalized for the time he was in order to not only get to the root of his trauma but to allow his brain time to come to terms with it. He recognized all the progress he's made and wanted him to feel proud of that.

"Well how does it feel to interact with someone your own age who isn't a doctor?" Jack shrugged.

"She's fine. I mean we have a really cohesive sense of humor. I think if we did hang out, it wouldn't be awful but I'm pretty sure she's a nurse or something. She wears scrubs whenever she's not in regular clothes and when she's in regular clothes she's usually care-giving for her mom." Dr. Carty laughed making Jack tilt his head.

"You like her." He said confidently.

"What? No! We've had two conversations. That's hardly enough time to develop a liking to anyone." Jack defended.

"Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?" Now Jack knew the doc was fucking with him.

"Yeah, thankfully I live in the real world. Plus everyone knows it's more like lust at first sight. No one can fall in love just seeing someone. That's based entirely on physical attraction." Jack was more of a pessimist when it came to love and attraction. Plenty of people could be attractive but love is few and far between. Jack can count on one hand how many people he's genuinely loved in his entire life.

"Well is she attractive?" Dr. Carty pressed.

"She's conventionally attractive, yes. I mean she hasn't cured my lack of sex drive but again, we've only spoken twice. I don't think I could fuck even if I wanted to." Jack had known the Doc for long enough that his random bouts of vulgarity didn't make him flinch.

"So you have decent conversation with a pretty woman who can match your intellect and has a dog you enjoy spending time with...She doesn't sound like an awful friend to make. Maybe you should work on that." Jack pushed away from the computer and ran his hands down his face.

"Why? I don't want to ruin anyone else's life. She's clearly a much better person than I am and she's already agreed to let me take the dog for walks on occasion so why risk ruining that with her getting to know me?" Jack genuinely feared letting anyone close at this point. Shanda had been with him since day one and the only person who has gotten a pass is the Doc and that wasn't something Jack asked for but has gotten used to.

"She's not Cleo, Jack." The mention of Cleo knocked the wind out of his chest.

"I know that." Jack whispered timidly before standing from his chair to move to the window.

"Just because you never received closure from her doesn't mean you can't move forward. You have done your part in taking accountability. We knew going into that you might not received the absolution of forgiveness." Dr. Carty himself had reached out to Cleo and was told she didn't care if Jack had dropped dead, she refused to talk to him after having their child cremated alone. Jack had sent a twenty page letter without any sort of response and when he sent a follow up, it was returned to sender.

The few times he dared to check social media, she had erased him from her entire existence. She had a memorial post for the baby but she didn't use his last name. When he accidentally liked one of her posts, he was met with a block on all outlets. Shanda had assured him that she had moved on and was doing better but he held onto that guilt for abandoning her after such a sudden miscarriage.

"What are you thinking Jack?" Doc's voice broke through his thoughts as he stood at the window. He could see Y/n down in her mother's garden watering the flowers and talking to her mom who was sitting in a wheelchair on the porch with Ace in her lap. He didn't need to know Y/n well to see she was a good person.

"The best thing she could do is to stay away from me. I'm just...I don't deserve that again. I wasted it the first time and ruined someone's life. What would I even do if I allowed myself to find that with someone else after Cleo? How do I explain to someone what I did to someone I loved enough to want to marry and start a family with?" Jack's ranting started to make his chest hurt.

"Jack, I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath." Jack became annoyed but did as he was told counting in his head as he took a few deep breaths.

"You need to remember that we are not our mistakes. We all have flaws and blemishes but it's how we right our wrongs that define us. You are not a bad person." Jack opened his eyes feeling a slight burn from squeezing them so tightly. Jack let out a breath before digging in his pocket for a lighter, picking up a cigarette and opening the window abruptly. The daylight made it hard for his eyes to adjust at first but he didn't realize the sound of the window would draw any attention towards him. He was met with Y/n's gaze as he took a deep drag of his cigarette.

"You have to forgive yourself Jack. If you don't let go of that weight, it will drown you." Jack kept his eyes on Y/n as she smiled at him and waved. Jack returned a weak smile, biting his lip.

"I want to...I really do but I just don't think I can." Jack admitted out loud glancing over at the screen to see Dr. Carty was frowning. He hated ending his sessions on a such a negative feeling but he knew he was out of time today. He knew that Doc didn't want to leave him alone with these thoughts so he gave him self work to do over the weekend so it would keep him occupied. Self work always made him roll his eyes because he could knock assignments out easily but whenever he sat down to work on his writing, his mind would be blank. All he wanted to do was figure out how to feel normal again.

[fortheloveofbuddie]

In the line of love 💕

Hi angel 💕

I’ve answered that one here

But here’s another snippet 💋

(For context, Adam is Eddie’s partner at the precinct and Molly is Buck’s friend and coworker who he has known for years)

TW: mentions of blood and gun violence

There had been something off about this particular day. Eddie had been late to work for the first time in years, rushing out of Buck’s bed without kissing him goodbye. Then he had spilled scorching hot water down his body while doing the dishes in the break room.

He was in the patrol car with Adam, his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel as he stared blankly ahead of him, completely unaware of the fact that Adam had been talking to him for the past five minutes about some girl that he had met recently.

“You with me?” His partner questioned, sensing that there was something off about Eddie.

“Sorry, bad morning” Eddie chuckled and released the steering wheel a little, allowing blood flow back to his hands.

Adam was about to make a snarky comment about how Buck had probably kept him up all night when an eerie call came in over the radio.

“Attention all units. We have an active shooter situation at UCLA Medical Center, proceed with caution. I repeat, active shooter at UCLA Medical Center”

“Isn’t that-…”

“Where Buck works” Eddie’s mind can’t stop spinning yet he has to remain focused, his heart pounding against his ribs.

“Dispatch, this is Unit 12. Show us going” Adam spoke into the radio, Eddie’s foot already on the gas, swerving in and out of traffic, lights and sirens paving the way for him.

“Copy, Unit 12”

As Eddie navigated the tense drive, his phone buzzed urgently in the cup holder next to him. Relief washed over him when he saw Buck’s name and picture on the screen. Adam grabbed the phone and put it on speaker.

“Buck, are you alright? Are you at the hospital? Are you safe?” Eddie asked quickly. Buck wasn’t supposed to be at work today. He had worked nearly 72 hours straight this week and he needed to be at home, resting.

But the phone call from him would soon indicate that something else entirely was going on. At first, Buck didn’t speak and when he did, his voice was barely above a whisper and with every word that he spoke, his voice sounded like it was going to break.

“I don’t know what happened, Eddie. They just-just came in and-and-and started to shoot people. I’m-.. I’m-..”

Buck’s breathing was strained and panicked as he spoke, clearly trying to calm himself down before continuing to speak. Eddie could tell that someone else was with him, whimpering in pain. “-… with Molly. She’s been shot. It’s really bad, Eddie. I don’t-… I don’t think I can save her. There’s blood everywhere”

Despite Buck used to the stress and the tense atmosphere of the ER, this was nothing compared to that. Right now, it didn’t feel like he was a doctor. It didn’t feel like he was anything at all. Except scared to die.

“I can’t stop it, Eddie. He-…he shot her twice in the stomach”

Eddie's heart sank, adrenaline surging as he pushed the gas pedal harder. Before he could respond, Buck’s voice trembled again

"I have to go. We need to stay quiet. It’s okay, Molly. We’re going to be okay”

The line went silent, and then a muffled thud echoed through the phone. Eddie's pulse quickened as gunshots erupted in the background, only seeming to come closer with every single shot.

Using this as my Fuck It Friday 🫢

It’s a very rough draft of both action and dialogue but I’m so excited to write and wanted to share 🥹

Tagged by @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 and you @daffi-990 💋

Tagging!! @jesuisici33 @cal-daisies-and-briars @callmenewbie @butraura @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @watchyourbuck @knightlywonders @fionaswhvre @wikiangela @athenagranted 💗🦋

[foxy-eva]

Handle with Care

Summary: Spencer tries to be there for his wife after a traumatic experience

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Please read the CW, this story contains potentially triggering topics!  Content Warnings: (16+ for heavy themes) implied/referenced SA (non-graphic), mentions of hospitals, medication and medical exams, description of minor injuries (bruises), behavior responding to trauma, issues with self-worth/self-hatred, crying, food mentions

Word count: 3k

Masterlist

There was a truth I had to learn as a young boy and couldn't shake until I met my wife – Love always brings pain with it.  

My wife was the first person to show me a love that didn't come with the risk of getting hurt. She had the ability to reset my view on what it should feel like to love and be loved. 

However, when I got a call from the hospital earlier today, I was reminded that I had been right all along. 

Love and pain really are inseparable.

When I walked into the examination room I found my wife staring out of the window, not even acknowledging my presence. 

"Hey," I whispered. 

She turned her head to look at me and I forgot how to breathe for several moments. Seeing my loved ones hurting has always been so much more painful for me than any atrocities I have had to endure myself. 

After years of profiling victims there was no need for anyone to tell me what had happened to her, I knew immediately. Without wanting to, I scanned her body language and counted several nicks and bruises on her skin. Her sight fell to her lap and I noticed her eyes tracing the pattern on the hospital gown. 

I slowly stepped closer. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. Do you know if they are done with everything yet?"

"They took my clothes," she muttered without looking up at me, "for evidence." 

"I know, love. They have to do that. I stopped at home on my way here to get you something to change into." 

A knock on the door caught her attention. A nurse stepped in to hand my wife several bottles with pills, explaining to her what they were and how to take them. It was obvious that she wasn't able to listen but that was okay. I was here now. I could tell her later. 

The nurse let us know that we could go home and left the room. My wife's eyes found mine, the desperation in her look letting my heart shatter. A single tear ran down her cheek while she whispered, "I don't know what to do now."

I stepped closer to her and reached out my hands but stopped myself before I could touch her. Taking a deep breath, I reached into my bag and placed her clothes right beside where she was sitting on the hospital bed. 

I tried my best to sound soothing when I said, "First, you will put on clothes. Then we'll walk out of here and drive home. And then we'll take it from there. One step at a time."

She nodded and looked at her clothes, hesitating to take off her hospital gown. 

"Do you need help, love?" I offered. 

Her sight fell to the floor right before she mumbled, "Could you wait outside?"

Over the years I had memorized every curve and dip of her body, her skin feeling more familiar to me than my own. I saw her bare form almost every day, be it while brushing my teeth while she showered or when we were lost in each other's arms. She had never even thought twice about shedding her clothes in front of me. 

Until this day. 

"Yes, of course." 

I closed the door behind me when I walked out of the room and waited for her to get ready. When she came out, she intuitively reached for my hand, my heart skipping a beat at the unexpected contact. She didn't let go of me until we reached my car. 

We were both silent on the way home. She seemed too exhausted to talk and I was stuck with my attempt to find the right words to say. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had failed her, that I could and should have protected her from the cruelties of this world. 

What was the point of saving all those people every day when I couldn't even keep the love of my life safe? 

The sound of her sighing pulled me away from my thoughts. I averted the sight from the road to look at her for a moment. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't more careful," she stuttered. 

My lips parted but nothing came out. I focussed back on the road for a moment until I found a space to pull over. I turned my body to be able to face her but she avoided looking at me. 

"Listen to me. None of this is your fault. You didn't do anything to provoke this," I explained.

We locked eyes then and I noticed hers glistening with tears. "But I still should have–"

"No!" That came out louder than I had intended. I tried to contain my anger when I told her, "This is his fault, not yours."

And I will do everything in my power that he won't lay a hand on you ever again, I thought.

She looked like she wanted to protest my statement but decided to not voice her thoughts. "I just want to go home," she said instead. 

We continued the drive in silence and I attempted to swallow down the boiling anger in my chest. Letting her see my disdain for the man who hurt her was certainly not what she needed right now. 

When we stepped into our apartment, she halted in the hallway as if she couldn't remember her usual steps of entering our home. I suggested that she could take a bath and she nodded, following me to the bathroom and watching each of my movements as I prepared the bathtub for her. 

"I'll give you some privacy. Just let me know when you need me."

My wife nodded once more and stared at the door until I had left the room. I lingered on the other side for a while, listening to the sound of her getting into the tub and turning off the water. When I was sure that she wouldn't call out my name anytime soon, I distracted myself by ordering food and tidying up a bit. 

Forty minutes passed without a sound coming from the bathroom. I stood in front of the door and timidly knocked against the wood.

"Is everything okay?" I wanted to know. 

Almost inaudibly I heard her voice a broken "No."

It was the obvious answer. Of course she wasn't okay. 

"What can I do?"

Silence. 

I contemplated just entering the room but then I heard her pleading, "Can you come in?"

I found her cowering in the tub, her arms wrapped around her knees as if she was trying to make herself as small as possible. She didn't look at me when she whimpered, "I can't wash it off."

I stepped closer to her and crouched down beside the bathtub. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand," I confessed. 

Her red rimmed eyes found mine and I saw something in her look I had only seen on rare occasions before. 

Rage.

"I can't wash him off," she shouted. 

"You're safe here. He can't hurt you anymore," I tried to remind her. 

It didn't work. 

Her whole body started shaking, broken sobs wrecking through her as she hid her face in her hands. The sound of her suffering went directly into my body and made me feel as if her pain would etch into my bones.

"Can I touch you?"

She didn't respond. She couldn't respond. I placed my palm on her shoulder, squeezing it gently in an attempt to bring her back to me. I knew that my words couldn't reach her but I tried it anyway.

"I'm so sorry this happened. I wish I could have protected you." 

After a while her whimpers simmered down until she was silent. Not even her breathing was audible, making me question the amount of oxygen currently entering her body. 

I tried to reassure her further, "I am here now."

When she nodded, implicitly telling me that she could hear me, I reached for her arms and helped her out of the tub. Wrapping her in a towel, I placed my arms around her still quivering body and held her tightly against my chest. She nestled her face into the fabric of my shirt and I felt her breathing slowly even out. 

Time became abstract while we stood in our shared embrace. It was impossible to tell whether minutes or hours had passed when she started moving again. She silently followed her usual routine after taking baths, putting on new clothes and brushing her hair. I lingered in her presence and followed her into the living room when she was done. 

"I ordered pizza when you were in the bathroom. Can I get you some?"

My wife whispered, “No,” and sat down on the couch. I found my place beside her. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I offered.

She shook her head and asked, "How was work?"

I raised my eyebrows as I looked at her. "Do you really want me to talk about work?"

"Yes," she breathed and added, "Please."

I thought about what I could tell her about my day that wouldn't be too unsettling. "JJ accidently bumped into Morgan who then spilled his coffee all over my geological profile."

To my surprise she started giggling, the sound immediately warming my heart.  A grin appeared on my face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she snickered. "I just imagined the squeaking sound you probably made when that happened."

"Hey! I don't make squeaking sounds!" I laughed in protest. 

She smirked at me and moved closer until hardly any distance could be found between our thighs. Without a warning, her hand made contact with the side of my torso, pinching my skin just enough to evoke the noise she had just mentioned. 

I threw my hands in the air, implicitly pleading for her to stop. "Okay, okay! I'll take it back!"

She let go of me and curled her body into my side instead. I felt the tensions leave her as she felt almost limp against me. The exhaustion after an adrenaline rush was familiar to me and I knew very well that it can feel like no amount of sleep would ever be enough to feel alright again. 

I suggested it anyway. 

"Do you want to go to bed?" 

Her humming sounded like agreement, so I moved with her and guided her to our bed. After placing the comforter over her body, I leaned down to kiss her but stopped in my tracks when I noticed her flinching away from me. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"It's okay." 

But the truth was that nothing about this was okay. 

When I stepped back into the bedroom after getting ready for the night, she had already turned off the lamp on her nightstand. Usually I would hold her inside my arms until she'd fall asleep but everything about her body language told me not to touch her. 

"Good night. I love you."

I didn't get a response.

My wife got cold easily at night and I had always seen it as my responsibility to keep her warm. It was something so deeply embedded into my subconscious that there was no need for me to fully wake up to reach out for her when my body noticed the absence of her skin against mine. 

It took a second too long for any drowsiness to leave me and realize that I had wrapped my arms around my wife's sleeping body, just like I did most nights. It was her screaming that fully woke me and I let go of her once I noticed her struggling. She basically jumped out of bed. 

Despite the lack of light in the room, I could clearly make out the horror in her look. She was scared. She was terrified. 

Terrified of me. 

I got up and stepped closer to her but still kept my distance. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She stepped backwards until her shoulders met the closest wall. "Don't…" she whimpered.

She didn't need to speak the words for me to hear them nonetheless. 

Don't come closer. Don't touch me. Stay back.

I didn't dare to move when I asked, "What can I do?" 

"Just… give me some space," she sobbed. "Please."

I stood there in silence for a few moments, contemplating what to do next. Before I could think of anything, she said, "I'll sleep on the couch."

"No." I protested. "I'll go."

She didn't seem to have enough energy to argue with that, instead laying down on her side of the bed once more. I left the door to the bedroom open ajar to be able to hear her from my place on the couch. 

Rest didn't come easy to me for the rest of the night but I somehow managed to fall asleep eventually. The sensation of my blanket being lifted woke me in the early morning hours. My wife lay down beside me on the couch, finding her home inside my embrace. She pressed her body against mine and buried her face into the crook of my neck. 

I let my fingertips draw circles into her back, carefully following the same patterns like countless times before. Her breath was quivering against my skin as she attempted to find comfort in my arms. 

"Sorry I pushed you away," she mumbled against my neck and added, "I love you."

"You don't have to apologize. You were scared, it's understandable." I placed a chaste kiss into her hair. "I love you more."

I felt her smile against my skin before she pressed herself into me even more. With my arms tightly wrapped around her body I secured her position inside my embrace. 

The morning sun started illuminating the room but we kept lingering in this position for a few more hours. I would hold her like that for the rest of my life if she needed me to. I wasn't sure whether she had actually fallen back asleep or just silently tried to relax but I was content to have her close to me either way. 

I took time off work for the next few days, trying to be there for my wife at least until she felt ready to go back to work herself. There was a newfound routine we followed, from going on long walks and cooking together to me holding her when she cried and keeping her company when she couldn’t sleep. 

A couple of days after she had gotten hurt, I was waiting for her to get ready to go on a walk. When she took twice the time she usually needed to get dressed, I cautiously entered the bedroom to look for her. I found her standing in front of the mirror in just her underwear, her brows furrowed as she let her eyes wander over her body. It was the first time I had noticed her actually looking at herself in the mirror. 

As I stepped closer, she looked up and locked eyes with me through my reflection. Not even a second passed and she continued the examination of her skin, her fingertips tracing over the spots she focussed at with her eyes. It took me a moment to realize that she was staring at the bruises on her skin. 

There weren’t that many of them but it was still impossible to not notice her injuries. Over the course of the past few days I had noticed how the bruises had gotten darker in color, a reddish blue turning into a deep purple that almost appeared black in the dim lighting of the bedroom. 

“Are you in pain?” I wanted to know. 

When her eyes found mine once more, they were glistening with tears. 

“No matter how hard I try, I can’t get rid of him.” Her voice broke at the last syllable and I noticed how her bottom lip started trembling. 

Her knees gave up on her, having me reach for her to hinder her from falling. I gently guided her to the bed instead, helping her sit down on the mattress. Tears were streaming down her face and I cupped her cheeks to wipe them away. 

She couldn’t look at me when she sobbed, “It feels like my body is rotting everywhere he touched me.”

“That’s not true. Those bruises will hea–”

“I’m tainted, Spencer!” She interrupted my desperate attempt to soothe her. 

Before I could disagree, she got up from her place beside me and turned her back to me. “Don’t you think I can’t see the disgust in your eyes when you look at my body?” 

The shock her words evoked rushed through me like lightning. I got up and tried to get her to look at me. It didn’t work. 

“That’s not how it is. That’s not what I think,” I tried to explain.

We locked eyes and she seemed to genuinely wonder, “What is it then?”

“When I look at you, I get angry at the man who hurt you but even more than that, I am disappointed in myself for not being able to protect you.” I stepped closer to her until our bodies almost made contact. “Can I touch you?” 

She nodded. 

I let my fingertips tenderly dance over a bruise on her arm while I cooed, “When I see his markings on you, I fantasize about having the ability to erase them with the touch of my hand. I imagine touching you everywhere he did, to rid you of the memory of him and replace it with the sensation of my skin against yours.” 

My hand wandered upwards and over her shoulder. “I wish I could take it away, all this pain. I wish I could leave sparks everywhere my fingertips make contact with your skin, making it shine brighter than all of this darkness.” 

She stared at me with widened eyes and tears still streaming down her face. I leaned down to kiss her cheek, the salty taste meeting my lips. “And when I taste your tears, I imagine that the ocean left saline crystals on your skin after having washed away your sorrow.”

A shy smile appeared on her face when she heard my words. And for the first time since all of this had happened I felt hopeful about one thing.

We would be okay. 

Eventually.  

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[lemonlover1110]

𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

Kento Nanami

[Chapter 4] Reality

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Pairing: Kento Nanami x f!Reader

Chapter Warnings: Brief Mentions of Abortion, Suggestive Themes

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Happy to co-host Gojo NSFW Week 2023! Come join us on Twitter!

You’re pregnant. At least that’s what was confirmed over and over again when you told the person from the hospital to double check. They checked a handful of times and told you over and over again that you’re pregnant. You have to take deep breaths to calm yourself down. You have to go back to the dining table and talk to your parents.

When you walk back, you try to fake a smile. You look at the food, and now it’s making you nauseous. You can’t take a seat at the table again. “I have to go. Work emergency.”

“I’m not done talking to you.” Your father says, clearly annoyed, you can tell by the tone of his voice. You weren’t in the mood to argue today, and especially now after the news you received. “Work can't always be your number one priority. Work won’t be there for you when you’re old.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought twice about that. You’re old, and who’s there for you? Certainly not your wife nor me.” You respond, and he furrows his eyebrows. He’s about to say something else but you cut him off, “Your wish seems to be coming true, though.”

You rush out of the house and go to your car. You begin to drive to a pharmacy or a store– Some place that sells pregnancy tests because you have to see for yourself. You can’t believe this is happening to you.

They confirmed the name so many times, but they must have confused you with someone else. There’s no way you’re pregnant. You’re on birth control and take the pill every single day. You have an alarm set for it. God but if you are– That baby isn’t your ex-fiancé’s. That’s your secretary’s baby.

You’re freaking out and you haven’t even confirmed that you’re actually pregnant. Although it was confirmed already. You’ll confirm and then freak out. You get to the nearest pharmacy and buy five different pregnancy tests before rushing out back to your car. 

The drive back to your penthouse is shorter than ever, but it feels like an eternity to you. Everything that usually feels short, feels like an eternity for you today. 

You get to the penthouse and run to the bathroom, and once in there you realize that you need a cup. You walk to the kitchen, looking for a disposable cup but don’t find any. So you grab a glass that you’ll end up throwing away afterwards. You take the five pregnancy tests and set them down on the sink, all face down.

You’re rich, you can handle a baby. Throw it to some nanny that’ll raise them for you. Or you can always get an abortion– But no. Your father will take your job from you if you don’t start a family soon enough, so having the baby is the best option. You don’t understand why you’re freaking out, you don’t even know if you’re pregnant. But it has been confirmed. 

Kento, your secretary, is the father. How will you tell him? First of all, the fact that he works for you is so humiliating in the sense your parents and everyone else around you will look down on you… Fucking your secretary? Really? It was a moment for you to have fun, and maybe if you decided you wanted a relationship with him, you would’ve defended him to your social circle. But you’re clearly not dating. In fact he was the one who decided that there shouldn’t be any relationship between the two of you.

“I’m not pregnant.” You mutter over and over again, hoping that your words will make the tests appear negative. You take a deep breath before you turn the tests around, and just as you were told, you’re pregnant. All five tests are positive.

Tears well up in your eyes, as if you hadn’t received the news before and it wasn’t made clear. The fact that it wasn’t a mix up and that you took so many tests and they came out positive, makes everything so real. You don’t know what to do other than sob because this wasn’t in your plans. It was never going to be in your plans. 

You’re crying because you have no control over this, and you don’t know what you’re going to do next. And you’re completely alone which is the worst part.

Hours later you manage to make an appointment the very next day for an ultrasound. There was some wait time, but knowing the doctor and having money helped you make an appointment for the next morning. You did what you had to do, and now you lay on your bed, worrying about everything. And the worst part of all is that you can’t drink.

You grab your phone, reading the last message Suguru sent. It was a couple of days ago, asking that you try to hear him out. Hoping that you’re willing to talk it out eventually. You bite down your bottom lip before you click on his contact and call him. You put the phone up to your ear, and hear the phone ring twice before he picks it up. Before he can say anything, you say, “I’m bored… I need you.”

“I’ll be there in ten.” He doesn’t need any convincing. You get up from bed and decide to tidy yourself up a bit. You don’t care how Suguru finds you, but at the same time you don’t want him to see you a mess. The pregnancy tests on your sink are thrown in the trash, and you look over yourself in the mirror for a second. You turn on the faucet and wash your face, hoping that it’ll make the puffiness go away.

It’s so clear that you’ve been crying, and you don’t want Suguru to notice it. At the same time, you don’t care as much. Suguru won’t question it and he’ll just assume you’re crying over your secretary or something along those lines. But you don’t want him to assume you were crying over him, which isn’t too far from Suguru’s actual thought process.

You clean yourself up a bit before walking out of the bathroom, and that’s when you hear the doorbell ring. That was less than ten minutes. You run out of your room and downstairs to open the door for him. He looks extremely handsome when you open the door. He smells good too.

It’s a simple outfit, a black tee and some sweatpants. It’s not an outfit that he usually wears, but you doubt that he’ll dress his best for a booty call. He doesn’t notice anything as his hands cup your face, his lips landing on yours. It’s a relief that he doesn’t question anything. Of course he doesn’t, Suguru never questions anything. He never has for as long as you’ve known him. The first and the only time he ever questioned something was when you ended your engagement a couple months ago.

Your hands go to the back of his neck, allowing you to get lost in his sugary lips. You pull away, only to grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. Once you get to the room, you take off your shirt and pants, not wasting any time. He licks his lips at the sight of you in your underwear, although it’s mismatched and not your sexiest pair.

He begins to pull down his pants and as he does so, your phone rings. You don’t care about Suguru enough to ignore the call, so you grab your phone from your nightstand. Suguru rolls his eyes, not really shocked that you decided to pick up the phone.

He goes to the bathroom to pee before starting, and while he does his business, the trash can catches his attention. Not one, not two, but three pregnancy tests that he can see. He furrows his eyebrows, not being able to see what the tests say. He won’t dig into the trash can because that’s just nasty, considering that you peed on all those sticks. 

He washes his hands before going back to you. You’re still on the phone, but he’s agitated. He points to the bathroom, hoping that you’ll catch a hint, but instead you turn your gaze away so you can focus on your call. You really couldn’t care enough about what Suguru is trying to show you.

You continue talking on the phone until Suguru’s grip lands on your wrist. He forces the phone out of your hand, even though you try to fight back. Your strength is nothing compared to his. He hangs up the phone and tosses it to the side, “What the fuck, Suguru?! What the hell is your problem?”

“Are you pregnant?” He asks you, and your eyes widen. The tests completely slipped your mind. The look on your face tells him everything, and he laughs in disbelief. “Of course you are.”

“Why the hell were you snooping around?” You’re annoyed, he can tell by your voice. He’d be worried with the tone of your voice a couple of months ago when you were dating, but at this moment, he couldn’t care less. Matter of fact, he finds himself annoyed too.

“You’re fucking pregnant. What were you trying to do? Were you going to pretend like that baby was mine after I fucked you?” He begins, and you furrow your eyebrows at the accusatory tone that he uses. You put one hand on your hip and look him up and down.

“Tell me, if you got me pregnant, what would I possibly gain from it?” You question, and he opens his mouth to speak, but he quickly closes it. He opens it and closes it again. He really has no answer. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Is it the secretary’s? How far along are you?” He continues asking, and you shrug.

“It’s not your baby for sure.” You sigh before taking a seat on the bed. “It is Nanami’s but… I don’t know how I’ll break it to him.”

“Why did you even invite me over? Do you want to cheat on the father of your baby?” Suguru is utterly confused as he takes a seat on your bed, right next to you. This wasn’t what you were expecting from Suguru. Tears are pooling in your eyes again, the reality of your situation settling in again.

“We’re not together– It’s embarrassing but he sort of broke up with me…” You confess, which doesn’t help Suguru’s state of confusion. A mediocre looking secretary breaking up with you? That’s anything but believable. “And you know, I find it funny that you, of all people, is talking about cheating.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to fuck up the same way I did.” He says, making you roll your eyes. You don’t need to hear some sob story from him about how he “lost the greatest person of his life”. You manage to hold back your tears, and they go away with a couple of deep breaths.

“Look, I called you so I don’t have to talk about it. I can’t drink, I can’t smoke, I can’t do shit but have sex. You’re the only idiot I could call that would come over so… I called you.” 

“Okay…” He responds, nodding his head. One hand goes to your cheek and his lips land on yours again.

“Daddy, will you hurry?!” Asami sits by the door, her arms crossed. She’s impatient, ready to leave. Kento is in a rush, as always, but he seems to be taking his sweet time this morning. No– But he’s on time. Asami is just in a rush to exit the door before the neighbor leaves her house and begins to speak to her father.

The neighbor and her father get along just fine, and for some reason Asami can’t stand the woman. She seems nice to her father, but she doesn’t even acknowledge Asami. Never does. It’s always “Good morning, Kento!” or “Good evening, Kento!” never “Good morning, Asami!”. The six-year-old takes that to heart. 

“Asami, if we show up to your grandmother’s house so early, she’ll be so upset!” Kento yells, knowing the six-year-old is by the door. He doesn’t know why though.

“I want to go!” She yells back. Kento rolls his eyes, a sigh escaping his lips. He really doesn’t want to go though. Lately you’ve been sick, meaning you’ve been insufferable. Plus, this morning he wants to see the cute neighbor since tonight he has a date with her.

“Don’t you want to go play with your dolls for a bit?!” Kento asks, hoping that it’ll entertain her. Asami stands up, finally, but instead of going to her room to play, she unlocks the door. “Asami, lock that door and get your ass over here, now!”

She finally does as she’s ordered and she walks back to her father. Her father’s face shows his frustration, and she can’t get herself to care too much about it. Simply because she just wants to leave. She has to wait for another ten minutes before her father finally says, “Time to go.”

And just as she was dreading, the moment she steps out of the door, so does the neighbor. It’s less than a five minute exchange, but she dreads every second of it. It feels like an eternity. 

“Alright, Kento. I’ll see you tonight.” She says, catching the young girl’s attention. It sparks her curiosity and it makes her ask,

“Is she coming over for dinner?” Asami questions, praying that the woman isn’t.

“No, honey. Tonight you’ll be staying with your grandma.” Kento answers, which confuses Asami. Then it hits Asami that her father is choosing to have dinner with someone else that’s not her.

“Oh… Okay.” Her tone is less than enthusiastic, and Kento can immediately tell something is wrong. But when he asks, she denies anything is wrong.

Kento is on time as always. This morning he was worried that he’d be late, but he wasn’t. Now the issue is that it’s almost noon and you’re not at work. He knows you haven’t been feeling your best, so he’s worried that you’re so sick you can’t stand up from bed. Maybe he should call you to make sure you aren’t dead. Or maybe he’s missing some type of important meeting– He’s checked the schedule a couple of times, and there’s nothing important happening today.

Just when his lunch break begins, the elevator doors open and you step onto the floor. Although you don’t look like yourself. A flowy dress, flats, no makeup. You’re almost unrecognizable.

“Ma’am–” He begins but stops himself. He clears his throat before speaking again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” You answer. You begin to walk to your office but he speaks again,

“Can I go on my lunch break or would you like me to–”

“Yeah– Actually, I need you to come to my office. We need to talk.” You tell him. He blinks slowly, thinking about what the issue could possibly be. He’s thinking of the worst. That you’ve decided that he’s useless to you, so he needs to find a new job.

He loosens his tie a bit before he follows behind you. He steps into the office, closing the door behind him. You go to your desk and take a seat, and he stands by the entrance of the office. “What is it, ma’am?”

“Please, take a seat.” You motion to the chair across from you. Your words aren’t making his case any better. He decides to take a seat per your suggestion, taking a deep breath to slow his pacing heart.

You reach into your purse while he taps his foot on the hardwood floor. “What is it, ma’am?”

“Kento…” You sigh, putting the ultrasound picture in front of him. He doesn’t look at it, until your eyes refuse to look anywhere else but the picture that’s in front of him. He grabs it and stares at it, unsure of what it is at first, until he looks closely.

“Huh?” He asks, slowly coming to the realization that he isn’t getting fired.

“I’m pregnant with twins, Kento. You’re the father.”

🏷 @witchofoe @cactustattoo @kamikat @snottykitty @r3nii11 @fushiguros-eyelashes @ur-mums-side @uhremmi @thisbicc @mykyoon @lysol1201 @rumi-rants @mimizsworld @hyperfixationsporfavor @levismainbabe @charismaya @blinkingsuns @erenputurchildreninsideme @noticemeakusenpai @attackonsimpp @yeosxxx @kurookinnie @thatbitchsstuff @lilith412426 @ddostoyevskyy @shaquille-oatmeals-world @mangalind

[belevant-candy-corps]

‘Excuses, Excuses’

Yuji x Y/N

One Shot:

“I’m heading out!” I stood up and slung my backpack on my shoulder. The occult club mandatory meeting was finally over after an hour and a half of eating snacks and talking about recent news.

Yuji and I usually walked home together but he said that some of his family was in town for his grandfather’s funeral. Jin had been like my own family. Ever since I met Yuji, his grandfather welcomed me with open arms. It hit me pretty hard when yuji told me about it, I know that it hit yuji much harder. I felt bad, I had known first hand how hard it was to lose someone you care deeply about. I wished that he would let me be there for him.

Yuji waved to me as I walked out of the abandoned classroom. I believe it used to be a French language classroom but a few years ago the teacher quit and no one wanted to continue teaching. I slid the door open and walked into the almost empty halls. The majority of the clubs were on the first floor or outside. I walked past the blue lockers and towards the stairs. My backpack bounced as I walked down the steep stairs. I walked down from the third floor to the ground floor before I turned down another hallway. Once I got to my locker, I turned the lock as I entered the combination. Twice to the left and stop on 32, turn to the right and pass up the next number once, stop on 24, then go to your next number, 7. I opened my locker and took my backpack off my back. I stuffed it into the locker before shutting the door with a slam. I looked around to see if anyone had heard. The only people I saw were a few stoners. I don’t think I would ever understand why people used and abused drugs.

I turned and walked back down the hall and towards the exit. As I exited I got a bad feeling, like something bad was going to happen… I brushed it off as nothing and continued to walk out the door. If there was one thing I could go back and change about that day, I would’ve gone to yuji and convinced him not to get in his aunt's car.

Slight time skip—

I hardly had enough time to process what had just been said to me before one of Yuji's distant relatives hung up the phone. My breath got caught in my throat. Warm beads of tears flooded out of my tear ducts. I sucked in a gulp of breath. I tried to make some kind of sound, the kind that people make when the worst news had been presented to them, nothing came out. My mother walked out of the kitchen into the living room where I was having my breakdown. My back hunched over and my legs started to shake and bounce. Tears fell into my hands and on top of my legs. I clenched my hands so hard that they left a bloody mark.

“What’s wrong?!” My mother sounded more angry that my tears got onto the couch than concerned for my well being. She stood in front of me, her legs visible from my position on the couch.

“Could you dr-drive me to the hos-hospital?” My voice cracked and hiccuped in the middle of my sentence but I think it got the point across.

We got to the hospital after less than ten minutes. I opened the car door in a rush and ran across the parking lot, making a car hit the brakes. I almost ran into the automatic doors I was running so fast. I tried not to cry as I talked to the front desk lady. She told me that he was being held on floor three but I couldn’t go inside of the hospital room. I nodded at the information and walked to the elevator. My mother had just reached the automatic doors when I pressed the button to go up. She walked up to me and tried to make small talk. I think that she got the hint that I didn’t want to talk at the moment.

As we waited for the elevator I finally took in my surroundings and looked around the room. The wide white walls were bright and stung my sore eyes. The lady at the desk looked at her computer in front of her and wrote something down in her book. There were three men and a child sitting in front of the entrance windows. To my left was a hall with a sign hanging from the ceiling. It read ‘Residential Rooms’ with an arrow pointing in that direction. The clean sanitizer smell flooded my nose. I breathed in the smell as the sound of a bell rang throughout the room. The elevator couldn’t have gotten here slower, I walked inside and let my mother walk in after me before spam pressing the third floor button and the close doors button. Quiet music played in the background as I stared into a mirror at myself, I looked like shit. My eyes were red and somewhat puffy, my hair was a mess, and my clothing was messed up. I didn’t take any time to fix those things, just stared into the reflection.

The elevator door opened allowing us to step out. I walked over to the next lady at a desk. She told me that he was in stable condition but wasn’t awake. She told me to go sit down with Yuji's family. I walked over to them. My mother sat down across the room and smiled at her phone. I felt out of place around these people who I had never met in my entire life. They probably thought I was crazy for sitting with them.

A nurse dressed in blue walked out to alert us that he could have visitors. He still wasn’t awake but she reassured us that he was going to make it but that he was in a coma for the time being. She said something about the coma being caused by medication, but I was honestly just thinking about Yuji. Only family could visit him so I sat back in my chair. Two of the family members walked down the hall leaving three others plus me.

I thought about what might’ve happened. On the phone, they only told me that I was Yuji’s emergency contact and that he was in the hospital. The last I saw of him he was fine… What could’ve happened between the last time I saw him and now? I decided to ask one of the family members, eager to know what happened to my best friend. “He got into a car accident with his aunt…” The old woman I asked seemed hesitant to explain things to me. She said that in a hushed voice like she was trying to make sure that no one else heard.

“Thanks,” I thanked her for sharing what she knew and returned to my own bubble. I started imagining the accident. I imagined Yuji flying out of a car, his head hitting the ground and busting. I imagined blood flying everywhere, glass shattering, and a car exploding as Yuji’s head flies from inside the car. I hoped that nothing bad happened but I couldn’t stop my mind from wandering.

A hand touched my bouncing leg. “I think it’s only a mild concussion and scratches.” The same woman’s voice spoke to me. I lifted my head up to look her in the eyes. Her blue eyes were faded and dark, just like her soul.

“Thanks.” I forced a smile, I’m pretty sure that it came out as a sad excuse for a half smile if anything. Hearing that it wasn’t that serious was a major relief. My leg calmed down and my hands stopped shaking so bad. A few scratches didn’t sound so bad.

I took a deep breath in. I sighed. Today was a nightmare. I leaned my head back onto the back of the chair. I closed my eyes and let myself drift away.

Minor time skip—

“Ah, sir..” a hand was placed on my shoulder before the thin hand moved off. My eyes opened, I looked around. I was in the same waiting room, except this time I was alone. I sat up, my legs stumbled as I grabbed my phone and walked out. My head was blank. I couldn’t think about anything without it connecting to yuji. I decided to take the stairs to avoid any questions.

I walked down the stairs before I finally got to the ground level. I walked out of the exit without sparing a glance to the desk lady. The cold air woke me up, remembering that I had no ride and that my mother probably went home made me want to scream even more than I already had. I used my phone to call a ride, I didn’t want to be a bother to anyone. The car arrived within a few minutes.

Once I got home, about ten minutes after I called a car, I went straight to my room. I didn’t bother to check my phone but I figured it was pretty late. I ended up falling asleep before I could undress or even take a quick shower. My final thoughts were about yuji.

-morning-

I woke up to my god awful alarm. I sat up, my legs still inside of the warm comfort of my blankets. Today was Wednesday, the day after yuji was put inside the hospital. The lady said that it was just a minor accident that provided little comfort. If it had truly just been a minor accident like she said, I wondered if Yuji would be at school today. Probably not…

I stood up and walked towards my dresser. I threw on the first thing I could find before heading to the bathroom. I took care of my personal hygiene before I realized that I had nothing more to do. I slipped on the most comfortable pair of shoes I had and slipped out of the house towards my bus stop. Me and Yuji would walk to school but since he wouldn’t be here I figured that I should get ready to be riding the bus.

My bus got here sooner than I expected, I would’ve missed it if I hadn’t left when I did. I took a seat in the very front. The ride was quick, only three or so stops after my own. We got to school within a few minutes. We got there much earlier than me and yuji would get there if we had walked. The bus pulled into the school lot and let us out after one of the teachers had instructed them to open their doors. Everyone walked in through one entrance, I evidently got pushed around a bit in the crowd.

I got breakfast and was about to sit in my usual spot when I saw him. Yuji was sitting at our table. He had his book bag around his shoulder like always. His eyes were locked on mine, he held a slight smirk. The smirk turned to a slight smile when I sat down.

“What the fuck?” My voice held obvious happiness and curiosity with a tad of anger that I made sure to mix in. I whispered when I spoke, like I was scared that someone would hear. The slight smile he first had turned into a giant smile with all of his teeth. I had been so focused on his smile that I failed to notice that his head had bandages around it and scratches scattered around his face.

“It was a minor accident, I got out this morning,” he paused for a moment. His smile faded to a smirk again, his eyes becoming more narrow, more flirtatious. “My aunt told me that you stayed until after visiting hours were up.” His eyes looked me up and down, I realized that I was still standing, I sat across the table. That was a bit embarrassing, but I’ve had way more embarrassing moments with Yuji, not a big deal.

“Wait, so what’s with the bandage?” I was eager to know the diagnosis.

“I just got a minor concussion, doc says that it’s not serious, just some changes in my personality for a few days” He closed his eyes, when he opened them again I felt that he looked a bit more tired than usual.

“You okay?” My voice was laced with concern. I stood up to sit next to him. I placed my hand on top of a thin layer of white band aids. His head was hot under my hand, I felt his checks. His face was burning up. I knew they shouldn't have let him out so soon…

“Let’s go to the nurse.” I removed my hand from his face. I stood up, hooking my arm over his shoulder to support him. I walked him out of the cafeteria, into the hallway. After we walked down the hallway for a bit he rested his weight on me.

Out of nowhere, he stopped walking. “What’s wrong?” My voice was filled with concern. If he were to pass out I think it would take me about two minutes to get to the nurses office across the campus. He stopped using my shoulder to support his weight. The people around us looked at us weird, although no matter what they thought I was pretty sure that we were already labeled as weird. I looked around us for a teacher that could call someone if he possibly did pass out. I noticed that we had stopped in front of the janitor's office, which was just a closet in the wall. I thought that he had probably not started cleaning yet, he should have still been inside.

I opened the door, expecting to find the janitor sitting at his tiny desk in the corner of the room. The only thing I found was an empty red sofa, about the size of two chairs pushed together. Anything else wouldn’t have been able to fit. I walked inside to see if there was anything I could use to help Yuji. The only thing I found was some Ibuprofen…

“Do you want some ibuprofen?” I asked as I picked up the bottle. My back was still turned to him when I asked. I started to turn around before something or someone had pushed me onto the blood red sofa. The bottle was dropped onto the ground, seemingly spilling open. I opened my eyes with urgency. The first thing I saw wasn’t a bully, or any kind of object, it was yuji.

“What’s wrong?!” I first thought that he had passed out or something like that. But he was blinking fine, his chest was breathing, he didn’t look pale? I tried to lift him off of me but he wouldn’t bust.

I only understood his intentions after he kissed me. The kiss was deep and sloppy. Beads of saliva dripped down my chin. We took multiple breaks to catch our breath but they didn’t last long. I was able to open my eyes afterwards, I looked to the left of Yuji’s head. He must’ve closed the door before he tackled me onto the sofa.

Yuji pulled me back onto another kiss. His tender lips pressed on mine. Yuji’s hands slipped underneath my shirt, his hands pressed against my stomach and chest. He ended the kiss to travel down my chin before leaving dark hickeys along my neck. I hardly noticed him unzipping my cargo pants. The kisses on my neck stopped as he unzipped his own pants. He pulled down both my pants and underwear with one hand.

The thrusts started off slow, he was taking his time thrusting deep with each buck of his hips. His hands caress my chest. He leaned in, bending his neck to kiss my lips. His thrusts became faster, he used more force each time.

“Fuck,” he mumbled under his heavy breathing. I closed my eyes. I heard the sound of the bell on the other sound of the door. My eyes closed even tighter, I slid a hand over my mouth to keep any sounds from spilling out. In the background, I could hear the sounds of conversation and walking.

The thrusts shook the sofa, it lightly hit the wall. At some point I remember the intense shock and my erection becoming limp. Yuji continued for a while. I stopped counting how many times I came.

It would be hard for Yuji to come up with an excuse for this one.

[maybank612]

Breaking News

JJ POV:

I looked down at my phone for probably the sixth time in the last minute. Y/n was supposed to meet us at the Wreck like an hour ago and she isn’t picking up her phone or answering her texts. 

“JJ chill she will be here when she gets here” Kie says as I fidget with my phone again. 

I look up to meet her eyes and huff. I then turned to look over at John B, hoping that he was just as worried as me that his sister was apparently nowhere to be found. 

As I met his eyes I can tell that he is fidgeting too. I went to ask him if he has any idea where she is but I was cut off as I heard Pope. 

“Holy Shit” Pope practically yells his gaze focused on the tv. 

That's when I see it. 

BREAKING NEWS. 

Reports are circling about a shooting on the southside of the island. It occurred about an hour ago, reports say that there was an altercation between two teens. Resulting in gun fire. There is one injured, witnesses say that there was an argument between the two young teens, when one pulled a gun and fired on the other. She was taken to the hospital, but there is no news on her condition. 

I couldn’t even formulate a thought before John B’s phone started to ring. That’s when I knew. 

“Hello?” He answered the phone “Yes, this is him.” there was a pause before my best friend’s face dropped. 

“I’m on my way” was the only thing I heard him say, he rushed to grab his keys off the table. 

I can hear Kie yelling after him, but I just followed running to twinkie. 

We all managed to get in the car before John B sped off. His hands gripped so tight on the wheel. 

“It’s her isn’t it” Kie said from the backseat. I wanted to say something, anything. But I was paralyzed. All I could think about was the possibility that I was about to lose the love of my life, my best friend in the world. 

John B didn’t say anything he just pressed on the gas. Before we knew it we were at the hospital. We all ran into the hospital John B going straight to the desk. 

“Hello, I’m got a call about my sister her name is Y/n, Y/n Routledge” He said his voice shaking 

“John B?” I heard Shoupes voice as he was walking around the corner. 

All our attention turned to Shoupe. 

“What the hell happened?” John B started to yell. Again all I wanted to do was say something, find out what happened but I couldn’t. 

Shoupe sighs trying to collect his thoughts, at the end of the day he cares about us and this is just too much. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. The few witnesses that heard the shot saw a black SUV drive off. The paramedics said that she was hit twice, once in the stomach and once in the leg.” Shoupe said. 

My heart dropped again, I felt Pope and Kie beside me. Us all in pain thinking about losing our girl. 

“She’s in surgery, I talked to doc and he said that it might take a while” As Shoupe finished putting his hand on John B’s shoulder.

That's when John B broke down, I don’t think I have ever seen him cry this much before. 

Kie and Pope immediately went to embrace him, and I just stood in my spot. 

That’s when I felt it, my chest tightened. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I grabbed onto my chest trying to relieve the pain. But nothing was working. I stumbled back with my legs hitting the chair behind me as I fell into it. 

I closed my eyes and all I could see was her. Her beautiful smile, the way her hair flows in the wind on the boat. Her eyes, I can hear her laugh. 

I felt like I was going to pass out, when I felt hands on my shoulder.

“JJ” I heard over and over again. 

I finally opened my eyes to see John B in front of me. 

“Breathe” he said, I didn’t even realize that I was crying until now. 

“I, I - uh can’t” I managed to get out 

“Shit, what does she say” John B muttered under his breath

He was thinking about all the times he watched y/n calm me down, but for that to work I needed her. 

“JJ, okay. I know I’m not her but you need to breathe. For her, okay she is going to be okay. Please. I need you to breathe” John B said

My body started to calm itself and my breathing slowed. 

I looked up at him from the tears in my eyes. 

“Oh, oh -kay” I stuttered out. Then John B pulled me into a hug.

We both held on tight. Kie and Pope wrapped their arms around us as well. 

God we needed her to be okay. 

<few hours later>

“Family for Y/n Routledge” a nurse said, grabbing my attention. 

We all shot up, crowding the nurse. 

“Yes” I said without second thought

“She’s going to be okay” I finally felt like I could breathe 

“There was a lot of bleeding. But we got it under control. She is going to be on crutches for a while, but otherwise she should be fine. You can see her if you would like” She said

We all say yes and then follow her down the hall. 

She opens the door. There she was, she looked so peaceful, thank god she was just sleeping. 

I immediately found my way to her side and placed my hand on top of hers. 

It was almost like she could since my presence, her eyes fluttered open and a small smile formed on her face when she saw me. 

“Hi” her voice was hoarse, but she still sounded like herself. 

“Hi baby” I choked out, tears forming in my eyes once more. 

“I’m okay” I laughed at her comment, even when she is lying in a hospital bed she is still trying to make me feel better. 

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. 

I just stood there and stared as she talked with her brother and the rest of our friends. 

Then after a few I heard the door open. And in walked Shoupe. All our attention turned to him. 

“Y/n” He said walking over near John B to talk to her “Honey, I need to know who did this” 

I felt her grip on my hand tighten, I honestly hadn’t even thought about who was in this situation. Suddenly my blood began to boil. Who did do this?

“Rafe” She almost whispered looking over at Shoupe. 

Shoupe just nodded, almost like he already knew who did it. He turned and then walked out of the room. Our friend followed him out. 

“I’m gonna kill him” I said without even thinking. 

“NO” she almost yelled “JJ please, Shoupe will get him. Just please stay with me” 

The fire in my bones was washed away, I just nodded at her and sat by her side. 

“Okay” I whispered while sitting beside her. 

I gently moved the hair from her face. Running my hand down her cheek. 

“I love you” I said, trying to hold back more tears. “God I love you so much” 

“I know JJ, I know” She tried to calm me down. “I love you too, so so much”