#i wanna do an actual comic and might do it for the golden age ones (action or detective when theyre both still fairly simple) but !

[martyrbat]

anyways - so excited for tomorrow's themed posting,,, i know its a very short story that's only 40ish images and straight forward in narration but,, its one of my favourites :) i hope u all enjoy it too and tolerate me being extra annoying hehehe

[naavispider]

OMG OMG OMG

I remember reading an idea sort of like this ages ago. But I can’t remember if it was an avatar fic or smth else 💀

have you ever seen the golden compass? The movie with the spirit animal daemon things???? well, I rewatched that yesterday and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

so, imagine Spider’s daemon spends his entire childhood flicking through forms. The first being a gigantic spider, and the second a blond, shaggy furred dog. Only, when (insert daemons name here) finally settles, he’s a beautiful orange tiger.

this, at first, would be wonderful. (Both bc tigers r fucking cool and second bc it has symbolism from the start of the first movie when tigers are brought back from extinction - it would be the first time Jake or any other humans see a true orange tiger).

BUT BUT BUT‼️ when quaritch was alive his form was ALSO a tiger - a white one - with the same gruesome three-strike scar along its eye m. Bc I’ve decided daemons and humans share scars.

OR OR OR‼️‼️‼️ spiders daemon settles in a desperate attempt to protect him when they meet the recoms for the first time‼️‼️‼️ AAAAAAAAA

I would imagine that Navi don’t have daemons. And they don’t understand the connection between daemon and human. So, therefore, spider doesn’t really get it either. He just sees his worst fear realised and believes his daemon is betraying him.

THIS ALSO MEANS‼️‼️ Recoms might have Pandora daemons‼️ I would imagine some of them would have ikrans as their daemon, zdog would defo have one of those purple bat things and Lopez would have a viper wolf I don’t make the rules. But quaritch would definitely have a giant thanator.

and when they are being pulled up into the ship- or any other time ig - Quaritch’s thanator (who is male, spiders daemon is also - pretty sure it’s like uncommon for daemons to be the same sex as the holder but that’s just how I pictured them) would totally have spiders daemon held by his scruff in his mouth that would be so cute.

ALSO ALSO OMG IM HAVING SO MANY JDEAS JUST WRITING THIS. They would torture spider INSTEAD OF THE MACHINE - they would try to separate him from his daemon like they do in the golden compass ‼️

My original idea was for humans to be shapeshifters. Mainly bc I totally wanted that held bu the scruff scene - but it’s actually quaritch doing it not his daemon. But also, the idea of a thanator daemon grooming a growly tiger daemon is so cute to me.

daemons show people’s true emotions. So spiders daemon is definitely as scared at the beginning, but visibly relaxes very quickly I’d assum - especially around quaritch. And I totally want an over protective thanator pacing the outskirts of their camp every night - lingering on the place spider is sleeping.

sorry for rambling, legit typed this out in three minutes I was so enthusiastic I was shaking. I have another idea from ages ago that I still need to type up - just bc I wanna share ♥️♥️

Hellooo old friend 💞

Firstly I'm soooo sorry it has taken me this long to respond. Life's been crazy and I've got a promotion/new job which is draining all my mental energy. I've not really been able to write anything at all in the past few weeks and it's making me sad 😭

This prompt is incredible and I 100% agree with the imagery of Quaritch's daemon holding Spider's by the scruff of the neck 😭 I don't have names for them (but I think Spider's one would be a girl) so here's some headcanons.

Quaritch's daemon is a thanator and Spider's is a tiger. As they are both full sized I think this makes for a very interesting concept. Spider's daemon settled after a huge argument with Neytiri a few years ago when she banned him from coming round. (They got over the argument like in the comics but ever since then Spider has an added resentment towards Neytiri because he was desperately hoping his daemon would settle as a creature from Pandora. He feels that if they never fought then he wouldn't be 'shackled' with an Earth daemon, which only adds to his 'alienness' in the clan's eyes.)

At the beginning of the movie Quaritch is almost sure straight away about who Spider is, because the daemon is a dead give away. (I don't know the lore from Golden Compass if characters are like,, born with their daemon or what, but in this AU the fact that Spider's is a tiger is a major give away for Quaritch).

"Miles?" He asks when suddenly a tiger emerges, growling, from the bushes to protect Spider.

Spider has seen enough of Q's video logs to recognise him, too.

The kids are not only surrounded by a dozen recoms but also all of their daemons. Z-dog's is a viperwolf, which pins Tuk down on the ground while Prager's prolemuris attacks Lo'ak. Wainfleet still grabs Kiri and works out that they are Sully's kids.

"Let them go!" Spider yells as he lunges for Wainfleet and his tiger launches itself at Z-dog's viperwolf.

Then, Quaritch's daemon emerges from the trees, silencing the kids with its presence. It goes straight for Spider's tiger, pinning it down easily. Spider yelps as he feels the bite of the thanator around his daemon's jugular. Quaritch commands the thanator to ease up a bit, but still keeping the tiger trapped.

"How are you alive?" Spider growls.

"Your daddy backed up his memories. All his personality too. It was all saved onto a drive and uploaded into... me."

"Let them go..!" (he's struggling because of the thanator's grip on his daemon)

Quaritch smirks, turning his back on his son as he radios command.

Cut to the parents arriving and all hell breaking loose. Q's thanator releases Spider's tiger when a blast goes off right next to them. Spider and his daemon run like Hell. The tiger is only slightly faster than Spider, but the thanator is in hot pursuit. (once again my lack of knowledge about the golden compass lets me down because idk how far Quaritch and his thanator can be separated, but let's say Quaritch catches up fast). When the blast causes Spider to fall down the bank he is initially knocked out but his tiger isn't, and stands guard to protect him, growling, when Q approaches.

The tiger tries to fight the thanator, but ofc is easily overpowered because of the size of the thanator.

Spider is groaning slightly as Quaritch pulls him over his shoulders, but he's too out of it from the fall to be able to prevent himself being carried off

He is aware that he can't see his daemon, and suddenly panic sets in. He knows the recoms could easily hurt her to hurt him.

The adrenaline kicks in enough for him to lift his head and scour the forest through weary eyes - his tiger is being carried in the jaws of Quaritch's thanator a few paces behind them. "Get off!" he tries to yell.

(don't ask me how the daemons are lifted into the demon ship)

At first, Spider and the tiger are thrown into the same cell. They huddle together for warmth at night and the tiger does a good job scratching up the door and tearing down the security camera.

The only person who can handle the two of them is Quaritch, because of his daemon, so it's a struggle to get Spider into the Neuroscanner, and there are some nasty fights between the tiger and the thanator, resulting in a lot of pain for Spider.

The neuroscanner is useless though because spider doesn't give them anything, so eventually they decide to bypass the ethics board and separate Spider from his daemon. Quaritch does not know about this (and like in the golden compass) enters just in time to see them doing this to his son. He's able to stop Ardmore and eventually Q convinces her to let him take Spider out into the field.

When Spider is faces with seeing Q again, he has the full stoic facade, but his tiger is trying not to cower and is trembling. Q sees this and takes even more pity on Spider, his heart breaking for him when he sees what the RDA has done to him.

After a while in the forest, Spider's daemon starts to relax and bond with the thanator, especially since the thanator protects and looks out for it against the Pandoran wildlife.

At night, spider and his tiger curl up together and Q watches them in the firelight thinking all of his deep, wishful, fatherly thoughts, while his thanator is looking at him pointedly as if to say 'why are you jealous of them, I'm right here'

Nevertheless, the thanator looks out for Spider and the tiger

Spider riding Q's thanator eventually

Spider and Quaritch watching their daemons playfully interact and Spider being totally embarrassed while Quaritch is sitting there smugly watching his daemon lick Spider's to clean its fur

If anyone has more please share!! I need to brush up my knowledge of the golden compass lore, but I tried!

[garrothromeave]

let’s talk about minecraft diaries rebirth.

and why it’s literally amazing. (warning: this will contain spoilers. lots of them. also, long post ahead.)

i think a lot of people hate mcdr because they were expecting a remake; but the point of rebirth is for jess to rewrite it. it wasn't supposed to be exactly the same.

honestly i went into mcdr with a closed mind. as an og mcd fan, i thought that this was going to suck ass and that i'd rant about how bad it was to my friends later. but actually watching it, i just... couldn't help but immediately fall in love with it.

ik im probably the only motherfucker that likes mcdr, but honestly how could i not? for one, garroth and zenix actually have personalities at the beginning. AND; the villagers? actually amazing. donna made me smile, visher made me laugh and cry, brendan was just bein as good as ever. like... i even didn't despise emmalyn with every ounce of my soul like i usually do?? the characterizations of them were GOOD, man.

and honestly, aphmau like--the way she spoke, her whole thing. it was reallyyy well done in my opinion. she was oblivious to things, but it wasn't overdone and wasn't done in a way to make her annoying. she's a very appealing character in mcdr, a main protagonist i do not mind following along with. her dynamics to the characters are really cool and all very unique.  gonna cut it here so i don’t clog y’all’s feed cuz i got a lot to say :)

the early use of aphmau’s powers was actually pretty cool as well, it also really showed how clueless aphmau really was to everything going on around her. AND UH, THE FACT THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT GARROTH FELT FAMILIAR? GOLDEN. absolutely golden.

AND GENE OH BOY, the early introduction of gene? ik a lot of people are upset about it, but god DAMN i love it so much. his role in the story is very important in original, and i cannot express how much joy this brought me learning that he was actually getting the proper attention for it. and the fact that gene and aphmau were working together?? i mean ik gene was just trying to use her to get back to the "shadow abyss" (pretty pog replacement for the nether, gg) but god DAMN i loved every moment of it. i found their dynamic to be pretty fuckin funny to be honest, would absolutely love to see more of it.

i might be biased considering gene is one of my absolute favorite characters, but i honestly think that introducing gene this early on in the story was a good move. again, he's literally the right-hand man to the shadow lord. it makes you really wonder why he didn't have as much of an important role in season 1 or even 2 of the original mcd plotline. also, we get some of that good-ol-fashioned exposition with seeing early on how vylad and gene interact. vylad’s at a very strange point in the story right now; his motives are unclear, even to the side he’s ‘supposed’ to be taking (aka, a shadow knight.)  another early introduction to a character is zane! this, my friends, is good. really good. i’d say that zane is the main antagonist of season 1 in the original series--and he wasn’t even introduced until like, episode 50. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but him being introduced this early on really gives the audience a better understanding of what threats are out there and what our protagonist will have to encounter in the future. in the original series, there’s not much explanation as to why lords are disappearing/dying left and right--and while yes, that was supposed to be the mystery of it, having some of that early information is a better move in terms of writing. 

AND IVAN?? BEING A PART OF THE JURY OF NINE?? I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING MORE LIKE GOD DAMN that was a very pleasant surprise i'll just say that, thank you jess :)

and no i did not loop the 4 minutes of screentime laurance got in that one episode haha who would do that i would never do that anyways

SPEAKING of laurance, im so glad jess actually wrote him in this early :) she totally could have just waited for the first time aphmau visits meteli and meets him there, but no! she put him in an early episode. i dont even care if she did it just to shut up the fans about laurance but man that made me so happy seeing him, even if it was only for a bit.

okay i kinda wanna go over the guards real fast firstly; garroth. ignoring how weird the helmet showing emotions is, i really like how garroth is portrayed. he's under a lot of pressure because the village is putting a lot of the blame on him for malik's death, and he's trying his hardest to keep things running. the fact that garroth utterly refused the to take up the position of lord and even got a little snappy about it was actually really cool to see as well. and while he doesn’t have that same “reserved, quiet, observant” feel as the original mcd version of him had, this version of garroth is absolutely awesome. he’s more direct and blunt, is significantly more sarcastic, and isn’t as stiff or as much as a pushover as he is in the original. he even has a sense of humour. also, no homo, but he’s kinda adorable.  plus, the desperation that he goes through during the whole thing is just--it’s really cool to see how hard he’s trying to prove himself and help the village. my rating for mcdr garroth? 9/10. the helmet... the helmet is the main thing throwin me off, i can’t lie. next, zenix. oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this man. first of all, his and garroth’s dynamic is incredible. when i saw how the interacted with each other, my first thought was: father and son. zenix has this immaturity to him that is so fucking fun and interesting to watch, and seeing how garroth scolds him is so fuckin good man. and! seeing how he interacts with the rest of the village... honestly, if jess ever picks this story up again, i would probably cry when zenix (literally) backstabs garroth. HELL, i hope that’s something that still happens, it’d be heartbreaking to witness this character that we’ve come to love hurting his mentor, the man who took him in. he’s just a really good character all in all, and much more appealing than the original mcd zenix. ...except season 3 zenix. no zenix can be better than that one.  either way, zenix is amazing written to be the comic relief and he’s just an all-out lovable character in this series.  finally, dale and brian. yes i’m going to group them up because there’s not much to say regarding them, but i do want to address them. for starters, we have brian; who’s already 16 when the story starts. good on jess for doing that, because in the original aphmau watched brian be born and age INCREDIBLY quick, haha. THOUGH i do feel like there’s a slight connection lost there--one of the hardest things about brian’s betrayal in the original series in the fact that we watched him grow up in phoenix drop. we were there from the moment he was born, to the second he betrayed phoenix drop. BUT OF COURSE, this version is a lot more realistic, so it’s understandable. i just think that if it’s brian who’ll be betraying phoenix drop again (if it even goes down that same route), it won’t hit as hard unless jess really takes the time to grow the connection between brian and aphmau.  as for dale; gotta admit, love it. and like, i think one of the main things about how good of a call it was to make him a drunkard from the beginning is considering how much the village is struggling. the fact that the second-in-command is literally drunk all of the time really conveys the message of, “yeah. this village needs help.” plus, he’s another good comic relief character. i loved seeing molly and dale’s relationship too, it was very funny.  PLUS. we were blessed with a well scene, in which aphmau had to help villagers out of the well. i don’t know about you guys, but that was one of my favorite nods to the original series. i cannot thank jess enough for that, there was a smile on my face the entire time. another amazing thing--visher’s character. instead of just being introduced to this quirky lil merchant who only had one or two interactions with aphmau like in the first one, we got to sit there and really get a feel for someone worth remembering and worth mourning over. we had a reason to be sad over his death, it wasn’t just some npc getting blown up suddenly. this was different, and this hurt.  one of the major things that i hope is to come out of this is for jess to fix the major mistakes she had when writing the first series. she’d expressed how unhappy she was with some of the decisions she made, and i’m glad that she’s getting that second chance to undo the things she didn’t like. this series also gives her a second chance to really, really dig into characters and their motives. like, gimme laurance backstory in better detail. or like, garroth and zane’s relationship from back when they were kids? or how vylad died and who killed him? etc etc. she’s already done an excellent job so far, and i can’t wait to see where this goes. that is, if she ever continues it. god, i wish there were more episodes so that i could seriously let you guys know how beautiful of a series this is. there’s so much i want to say about rebirth, but i think i’ll stop here. i might say some more shit about it later, but if there’s anything i’d want you to take away from this, it’s: give minecraft diaries rebirth a chance. there’s a lot of potential, and this is a chance for jess to really change things for the better! ... but again, that is if this ever is continued. 

[newtonsheffield]

Our dearest angel Molly, I might be very deep into the rabbit hole of the BSU (clinically speaking). I was watching last night High School Musical (WHAT TEAM?! WILDCATS!!!!!) and every time Chad and Taylor were on screen, I couldn't help but picture Greg and Lucy, if they were using their awesomeness for evil (just the 1st one) instead of good (good = sailing the Kathony ship like two amazing capitans).

I mean, COULD YOU JUST LOOK AT THEM???!!!

I could totally see Greg and Lucy doing this in more than one situation. Specially the last one as they witness Kate and Anthony denying their feelings for each other or just being their adorable selves. Told you: way too into this rabbit hole. Send help

I'll let you be and call my therapist, brb!

Keeping brooing the southern hemisphere bro's wave 😎

Okay, Okay, OKAY!

Number 1, I love High School musical forever and always. But also, Camp Rock slaps too, my dude.

Lucy and Gregory are the chaos twins, imagine Lucy spinning in her chair one day and saying

"Gregory, do you want to do something a little bit mean, but also very very funny?" And Gregory just abandons whatever he's already doing, scooting his chair over to her desk like. "Whatever you're planning, let's do it."

In fact... shall we????

Lucy really couldn't say what had sparked the idea when she looked back on it. Only that when the notice for the conference Kate had been booked on past her desk, and she'd seen the hotel that was hosting it, something had nagged at the back of her mind. Thinking, thinking, thinking, about the connection. Had she stayed there? No, that wasn't right. She'd seen the name printed somewhere she was sure. Her fingers drummed across her desk as she wondered, looking at the hotel online, and then she remembered.

Because there, on the website posed for a picture at the reception desk, was Cynthia from Lucy's Lower sixth geography class. Satisfied that she'd solved the puzzle Lucy moved on with her day, planning to book Kate's accomodation when she'd finished her filing.

"Jesus Christ Bridgerton!" Kate's voice snapped, swaying away from Anthony, her eyes flickering embarrassedly as he pushed lightly against his chest. Lucy smirked, whatever had occurred this time didn't really matter. The result was the same, Kate and Anthony in denial, really someone just needed to lock those two in a room together and- an idea struck Lucy like a bolt of lightning. She smiled sympathetically as Kate passed, closing her office door with a sharp click. Waiting patiently until she was sure Kate couldn't hear her.

"Hey Gregory!" Lucy hissed at her counterpart. Gregory looked up from his CatWoman comic, his eyes curious. "Do you wanna do something that's a little mean but also could help two people fall madly in love?" A grin broke out on Gregory's face, dropping his comic, scooting his chair towards her his lollipop dangling from his mouth. "If this is about Anthony and Kate, whatever you're doing: I want in."

Lucy smirked happily. "So, this conference they're going to next month?" Gregory nodded looking startlingly like a golden retriever puppy. "I'm going to book them into the same hotel room." Gregory guffawed. "Excellent, only one problem: You really think Kate's just going to hear they have to share a room and go Oh no, there's nothing we can do! ?" Lucy tutted disapprovingly, "Ahh Gregory, my sweet summer child." She said, taking the lollipop he was offering her, tapping the photo of Cynthia on the screen with it. "It's all about who you know."

Gregory's brow furrowed again, as Lucy picked up the phone, dialling the number there. "What are you-?" He started, but Lucy waved him off. "Hi, may I please speak with Cynthia Jackson please?" She said politely when the phone was answered, waiting on hold. "Whose Cynthia? Also you watched Game of Thrones?" Gregory said his head tilted curiously. "We went to school together. And yes, I'm not a savage." "You think someone you went to school together is just going to help you with a random favour? She might not even remember you." Gregory said, scoffing lightly. Lucy sighed. "Gregory, you have no idea how well liked I am." Gregory opened his mouth to speak again but he was stopped by the buzz on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, this is Cynthia?" The voice on the other end said, Gregory leaning in close, tugging the receiver from Lucy's hand so it rested between them. "Cynthia! It's Lucy Abernathy from Talbot's!" "Oh my god. Lucy it's been ages. How's things?" Lucy shot Gregory a smug smile who looked astonished. "Are you still seeing Mitchell?" Lucy cleared her throat. "Thankfully no." She could feel Gregory looking at her a little intently, curiously. as Cynthia made a sympathetic noise. "I actually work for a law firm in London now. I'm a PA for one of the lawyers here, and she's coming to yours for the Family law conference next month." "Oh yeah?" Cynthia said a little confusedly. "I wondered, if you wanted to play a tiny little game, just like we did at school." Lucy said as lightly as she could manage. She had Cynthia's attention now, she could tell, even over the phone. She'd always been one to cause mischief.

"What kind of game?" Lucy hummed victoriously. "Well maybe not a game, but you see, My boss, Kate, is travelling with the other lawyer from the firm and well, I think they just need a little push." Gregory chuckled beside her. Cynthia cooed. "Oh my god, it's like a romantic comedy, what are we thinking?" Lucy laughed. "Now we are going to make a booking for one room. And under no circumstances can they be allowed to change that booking, or go to another hotel."

Cynthia laughed brightly. "I love this, but you're sure she wants this?" Lucy sighed, her eyes darting back to the door behind her Katharine Sheffield engraved on brass. "Yes, she's definitely in love with him. Now we're going to make this booking under Sheffield-Bridgerton. That's spelled..."

When she got off the phone Lucy couldn't help but feel a little smug as she high fived Gregory, popping her lollipop in her mouth with a satisfied sigh. "Easy, Bridgerton." The door to Kate's office swung open startling Lucy a little, Gregory toppling sideways off his seat, falling against her. "What are you two up to?" Kate said suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. Lucy fixed her face into a look of exasperation. "Gregory has lost Anthony's credit card again, and the bank was giving him a little trouble."

Kate hummed sympathetically, walking towards the kitchen seconds later. Gregory rolled his eyes. "Do I always have to be the incompetent one?"

Lucy tutted, turning back towards her desk. "Do you really think Ktae would believe I was?" Gregory fixed her with an odd look, pushing away from her desk so his chair spun back to his own. "You're right. You, Lucy Loo, are a terrifying genius, and I'm proud to call you my friend."

And for he life of her, Lucy couldn't figure out why his statement made her equal parts thrilled and devastated.

[derekfoxwit]

Doctor Dorpden’s Critical Tips of Prestige

Note: This post was made with satirical intentions in mind. I’m only emphasizing because I’ve had a couple of comments on previous joke posts I’ve did take it seriously. With that said, here we go.

Tip 1: For starters, remember that when looking at the work, if the Mystic Knee twitches fast enough to punch a hole in a wall, this suggests that the work should be near the lowest of the low. No further development of opinion is needed.

Tip 2: For an equal degree of sophistication, give the warm comfort of nostalgia at least 5 times more chances than the new thing that MAY seem actually poggers.

Tip 3: If you have the anecdote of encountering shitty fans, then use them as a scapegoat for the show they flaunt over being shitty. Clearly, they’re always making the show the way it is.

Tip 4: If you haven’t heard much about a newer film or show you’re yet to watch, there’s an 85% chance that film or show is actually not worth your time. The Father (2020) isn’t as widespread as Joker (2019) for a reason.

Tip 5: At this point, just go for the Asian Artist Dick. I’m actually in the mood to see merit in that because I want to look edgy against cute doodles. Stop attacking Uzaki-Chan, you cowards!

Tip 6: Avoid the electronic tunes. They’ll make you smell like a bum, for there’s no structural in a music album that’s nothing but wubs.

Tip 7: If you see a Tweet that looks dumb, use it as a means of generalizing all the fans of a work as sharing that same opinion.

Tip 8: If the cartoon I’m given doesn’t provide me with mature ideas such as slicing an Arbok in half or fake boobs, then the cartoon might as well be on the same level as Teletubbies.

Tip 9: You know the music is (c)rap when it brings up drugs, regardless of lyrical context.

Tip 10:  Raw mood is the indicator of quality cartooning. If you’re quick to assume the worst in the newest HBO Max original cartoon, then you got thyself a stinker. Same thing if you were super bummed out when watching a new thing, regardless of anecdotal context.

Tip 11:  When you’re not given continuous throwbacks, ensure you’re as reductive and over-generalizing about the works shown as possible.

Tip 12:  If your hazy and imperfect as hell recollection of a children’s film, whether it’s Wall-E or Lilo & Stitch, would describe said film as “too sugary” or “key-waving schlock”, then that HAS to be the case. No meat on that bone whatsoever.

Tip 13: Simpler, more graphic style that isn’t as realistic as old-school Disney or Anime? You got yourself a lazy style with zero passion put into it.

UPA? Who’s THAT?!

Tip 14: Don’t trust anyone saying that western children’s cartoons had any form of artistic development after 2008 (with, like, TWO exceptions). If it did, why didn’t we go from stealing organs in a 2001 cartoon to showing opened stomachs in a 2021 cartoon?

Tip 15: Big booba is always important to the strong female character’s quality.

Tip 16:  Only MY ships count, for they provide me with a feeling of intelligence.

Tip 17: “PG-13″ and “R” rating just simply mean you’re not caring for expressing themes in a sophisticated manner. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 18:  In this age of smelly radicals, “Death of the Author” is more important than ever. Without it, this’ll imply that a classic like The Matrix was secretly toxic, due to what the Wachowskis have to say about it being an “allegory of trans people.”

Tip 19: Turn the fandoms you hate into your torture porn. Ask in Tweets to Retweet one sentence that’d “trigger” them. Go out of your way to paint all of them as blind consoomers. That’ll show them, and it’ll show how much more intelligent you are compared to those clowns.

Tip 20: Whatever the Mystic Knee dictates upon the first viewing of a work is what shall indicate the full structural extent of the film.

Tip 21: The mindset of a 2000s edgelord is one that actually understands the artistry of the medium of animation. Listen to that crazy but ingenious man.

Tip 22: Because sheer ambition makes me feel manly, the high pedestal you bestow upon a cartoon work should be based mostly on the mere mention or mere suggestion of serious topics. This means that pure comedy is smelly.

Tip 23: Is the new work tackling subjects that you’ve loved a childhood work of yours for covering? Just assume it’s super bare-bones in that case compared to the older case, for there’s nothing the older work can do to truly prove itself otherwise. Seriously, Letterboxd. Stop giving any 2010s cartoon anything above a 4/5

Tip 24: If the Mystic Knee is suggesting that the work is crummy, then consider any explanation off the top of your head for why the work in question is crummy.

Tip 25: Sexual and gender identity is inherently political, so don’t focus on them in the story. It’s no wonder why Full Metal Alchemist has caught on more than the She-Ra reboot.

Tip 26: Since I got bothered by a random butt monkey type character in a crummy cartoon, I’m now obligated to assume that having a butt monkey will only harm the writing integrity of the cartoon.

Seriously, Mr. Enter....what?!

Tip 27: We’re at a point where pure comedy for a kids’ cartoon is doing nothing but dumbing down the children. Like seriously...... I doubt Billy and Mandy would ever use farts as a punchline, unlike these newer kids comedies.

Tip 28: The difference between the innuendo in kids’ cartoons I grew up on and the ones Zootopia made is the sense of prestige they give me. Just take notes from the former instead.

Tip 29: Wanna make a work of artistic merit? Just take notes from the stuff I whore out to. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 30: Always remember this golden rule: If the newer work, or a work you’ve recently experienced the first time, was truly great, why isn’t it providing the exact emotions from your younger, more impressionable years?

Tip 31: If the Mystic Knee aims to break the bones of a character doing certain things (.i.e. having body count of thousands; lashing out to character; etc.), that means the character is bad and deserves no redemption.

Tip 32: If you want me to believe there’s any intrigue or depth in your antagonist, give them redemption, for I am in need of that sorta thing being spelled out. Looking at you, Syndrome. Should’ve taken notes from Tai Lung.

Tip 33: In a case where you’re going “X > Y” (.i.e. manga compared to western comics), ALWAYS CHERRY PICK! Use the recent controversies of the “Y” item while pretending that the “X” item has never had anything of the sort.

Tip 34: BEFORE you bring up those comments that shat on the original Teen Titans cartoon back when it was new, whether for making Starfire “more PC” or whatever.......the DIFFERENCE between them and me is that THEY were just bad faith fools that couldn’t see true majesty out of blind rage. I, however, am truly certain that calling any western TV cartoon from 2014-onward a work that transcends its generation suggests a destruction of the medium.

Tip 35: Based on fandom growth, it shows that any newer show isn’t being watched much by kids, but rather loser adults that act like children. Therefore, there’s more prestige in what I grew with.

Tip 36: The focus on children is bad at this point since the children of today have attention spans that flies would have.

Tip 37: A select few screenshots (or even one) of either a less elaborate attacking animation, less realistic game graphics, or a less on-model image in a cartoon indicates EVERYTHING about the work’s quality.

Tip 38: Consuming or writing media where characters go through constant suffering is little more than gaining pleasure out of it. YOU SICKOS!

Looking at you, Lily Orchard!

Tip 39: Whether it’s a sexual awakening story or just simply a romance, focus on a character being lesbian, trans, bi, etc., then it shouldn’t be in a kids’ work. It’s too spicy for them by default. Kids don’t want romance anyway.

Tip 40: The very idea of a western cartoon with no full-blown antagonist (i.e. Inside Out) is a destruction of animated artistry. Sorry, but it’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 41: Unless it’s my fluffy pillow, such as Disney’s Robin Hood, it should be obligated to assume the inserting of anthros is only there to pleasure the furries. Looking at YOU, Zootopia!

Tip 42: With how rough and rash The Beast was, it shows that he was more of an abusive lover. Therefore, I refuse to believe that Beauty and the Beast has any of the meticulous moral writing that most of Disney’s other 90s films has.

Tip 43: When you suggest one work should’ve “taken notes” from another work in order to do better, BE VAGUE! Those who agree will be shown to be geniuses.

Tip 44: Remember how morally grey Invader Zim was? That really goes to show how little the Western Animation scene has been trying since that show. Really should just be taking notes from that series (and of course anime).

Tip 45: Even if I have a radar that clearly indicates such, hiding the item I look for inside an enemy is always bad, for I refuse to believe it would be inside the enemy.

Goddamn it, Arin!

Tip 46: People struggle understanding your gender identity or pronouns? All there is to see in that is a giant cloud of egotism that reads “My problems” zapping another smaller cloud that reads “other people’s problems”. Seriously, kids are starving, so WHAT if you identity confused someone. Grow a spine!

Tip 47: Stop pretending that adaptations should colorize how a story or comic series should be defined. No way in FUCK can a cartoon or film incarnation become the definitive portrayal of my precious superhero idol.

Tip 48: Enough with your precious “limited animation” techniques, YOU WESTERN HACKS! All you’re doing is admitting to sheer laziness and lacking artistic integrity. Now if you excuse me, I’ll be watching more anime, since that gives me a sense of prestige.

Tip 49: If getting five times more detail than the 2D animated visuals have requires someone getting hurt, so be it. No pain, no gain after all.

Tip 50: Yes, I genuinely struggle to believe there’s this majestic level of layered material without having the most immediate yet still vague re-assurance practically yelling in my face. But that’s STILL the work’s fault, not mine.

Tip 51: Every Klasky-Csupo cartoon has more artistic integrity than any of them cartoons with gay lovers such as Kipo or the Netflix She-Ra show.

Tip 52:  If Sergio Pablos’ Klaus is anything to go by, we have no excuse to utilize those smelly as fuck digital animation “styles” found on Stinky Universe, Suck-Ra or Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turds.

Tip 53: Stop projecting your orientation onto works of actual talent. Seriously, how does Elton John’s I’m Still Standing expel ANY rainbow flag energy?

Tip 54: Hip hop and electronica have been the destruction of music, especially the kind that’s actually organic and not farting on the buttons of a beeping or drumming gadget.

Tip 55: The audience for cartoons has become significantly less clear over the years. We should just go back to Saturday mornings of being sold toys or shit kids actually want.

Tip 56: PSAs for kids shouldn’t be about ‘woke’ content. They should be actual problems such as doing drugs; not playing with knifes / outlets / matches; or acceptance.

Tip 57: The instant you realize a detail in a childhood work that’s better understood as an adult, you’re forced to paint that work as the most transcendent thing in the world. It’s just THAT simple until I dictate otherwise.

Tip 58: Before you lash out on ALL rich people, remember this: #Not All Rich People.

Tip 59: There’s nothing to gain out of the (c)rap scene other than becoming a spiteful, gun-wielding thug that sniffs weed for breakfast.

Tip 60: Since the Mystic Knee told me to get anal about prom episodes in several gay cartoons, this shows that writing about one’s younger experiences just makes you look pathetic.

Tip 61: Another smelly thing about Zootopia is how it was painting a police chief as stern and exclusive. #Not All Chiefs

Tip 62: Me catching a glimpse of Grave of the Fireflies as a kid and turning out fine shows that you may as well show kids more adult works without worry. No amount of psychological questions being asked will suggest otherwise.

Tip 63: There’s a reason why the Mystic Knee keeps leaning more toward the 90s and early 2000s than most decades. That knee KNOWS where there’s a sense of true refinement.

Tip 64: The BIG difference between rock and electronica? Steward Copeland actually DRUMS. All that the likes of Burial, Boards of Canada, Depeche Mode and several others did was push drum buttons.

Tip 65: One exception to the golden nostalgia is when the work in question doesn’t stuff your face with fantastical, bombastic stories. At which point, there can only be rose-colored blinds covering Nickelodeon’s Doug. Nothing of merit or personal resonance to be found.

Tip 66: Remember that the sense of nuance in the work comes down to there being everything including the kitchen sink, whether it involves multiple geographic landscapes; giving us hundreds of characters; etc. Only through the extremes will I be able to tell there is nuance.

Tip 67: Once you see a joke that has an involvement with sexual or violent content, just ignore the full picture and just reduce it to having nothing to it but “sex, violence, gimme claps.”

PKRussel has entered the chat

Tip 68: With all the SJWs messing up the art of comedy, lament the times where you could be called a comic genius, NOT a monster, for shouting out the word “STAB,” calling a gay weird, painting Middle Easterns as inherently violent, etc.

Tip 69: Guitar twang will always win out over (c)rap beats. There’s a reason your grandma is more likely to listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd than Kendrick Lamar.

Tip 70: Once the Mystic Knee notices a lack of squealing at the video game with linearity, that shows there’s more artistry in going full-blown open world.

Tip 71: Related to Tips 66 and 68, ensure your comedy gets as much information and mileage out of each individual skit as possible. EMPHASIZE if you need to. Continuously spout out your quirky phrase of “STAB” if needed.

Tip 72: Based on the onslaught of TV shows with many seasons and episodes, animated or otherwise, it shows that there’s more worth going for that than simply having a miniseries or a 26-episode anime.

Tip 73: Building off of the previous tip, you’re better off squeezing and exhausting every little detail and notable characterization rather than keeping anything simple and possibly leaving a stone unturned, especially if there’s supposed to be a story. 

Tip 74: Playing through the fan translation of Mother 3 made me realize how much some newer kids’ works just try too hard to get serious. Why even make the kids potentially think about the death of a family member?

Tip 75: The fear I had over Sid’s toys from the first Toy Story and similar anecdotal emotions are the be-all indicators of what kind of show or film is fitting for the children.

Tip 76:  Seeing this British rapper chick have a song titled “Point and Kill” just further exemplifies the fears I’ve had about rappers being some of the most harmful folks ever.

Tip 77: The problem with attempting to make a more “relatable” She-Ra is that kids aren’t looking for relatability. They want the escapism of buff fighters or something similar. This is why slice-of-life is so smelly.

Tip 78: Based on seeing the rating of “PG-13″ or “R,” I can tell that the dark humor is little more than “hur dur sex and guns.” Given the “TV-Y7 FV” rating of Invader Zim, the writers should’ve taken notes from that instead just so I can sense actual prestige.

Tip 79: The original He-Man has more visual intrigue in its animation than any of those smelly glorified doodles found in the “styles" of the 2010s and early 2020s.

Tip 80: It’s always the fault of the game that my first guess (that I refuse to divert from) on how I have to go through an obstacle won’t work.

Tip 81: Zootopia discussing prejudice ruins the majestic escapism I got from my precious childhood films from 1991-2004. Them kids might as well be watching the news. Now to watch some Hunchback after I finish these tips.

Tip 82: There is no such thing as an unreasonable expectation, and there’s especially no wrong way to address the lack of met expectations! For example, if you expect some early 2010s cartoon on the Disney Channel to be a Kids X-Files, yet you get moments such as some girl getting high on stick dipping candy, you got the right to paint the worst out of that show for not being “Kids’ X-Files.”

Tip 83: Related to my example for Tip 82, if you get the slightest impression of something being childish, you know you got yourself a children’s work that does little than wave keys and has basically nothing substantial for them. In this situation, those malfunctioning robots found in Wall-E are the guilty party.

Tip 84: Without the extensive dialogue that I’m used to getting, how can one say for certain there was any amount of characterization in the title character of Wall-E?

Tip 85: Ever noticed yourself gradually being less likely to expect an upcoming work or view a work you’re just consuming as “the next best thing”? That’s ALWAYS the fault of smelly “artists” (hacks really) and their refusal to give a shit.

Tip 86:  It’s obligatory for your lead to be explicitly heroic just so there is this immediate re-assurance that they’re a good one.

Tip 87: Without the comforting safety net of throwbacks, one cannot be for certain that there has been an actual evolution of a series or the art of animation and video games.

Tip 88: Don’t PSA kids on stuff they give zero fucks about. That means no gender identities or pronouns, race, etc.

Tip 89: Don’t listen to Mamoru Hosoda saying that anime women tend to be “depicted through a lens” of sexual desire. He’s just distracting from the superior prestige found in anime women.

Tip 90:  If you’re desperate to let others know that your talking points are reasonable, just repeat them over and over with little expansion on said talking points.

Tip 91: 7 or more seasons of art is better than 26 episodes of art.  EVERY TIME!

Tip 92: Always remember to continuously talk up the innuendo and mature subject matter of the childhood work as the most prestigious, transcendent thing of all time. With that in mind, there’s a high chance that your favorite childhood work will be better known than Perfect Blue (1997), and there’s likely a reason for that.

Tip 93: An art style that gives many characters relatively more realistic arm muscle details will always shine through more than any sort of art style done for “simplicity” (laziness, really).

Tip 94:  Seeing a few (like, even VERY FEW) people show more enthusiasm for Steven Universe over Invader Zim really shows the lower bar that has been expected out of the western animation scene compared to anime.

Tip 95: Electronic music makes less conventional time signatures cheap as hell. REAL music like rock makes them the exact opposite.

Tip 96: If your Mystic Knee suggests that the 90s cartoon being viewed doesn’t showcase a vague sense of refinement or artistic integrity, then every related assumption of yours is right. EVERY TIME!

Tip 97: Doing everything and the kitchen sink for one series or movie shows a better sense of refinement and prestige than any form of simplicity. THIS includes character design as well.

Tip 98: The advent of that Star Wars: Visions anime really shows just how stinky western cartoons have become.

Tip 99:  For those wondering, no, Europe isn’t being counted in my definition of “western animation”. Doing so is a complete disservice to prestige.

Tip 100: If even less than half of these tips aren’t being considered, you can kiss that prestige badge goodbye. After all, I SAID SO!

[davidmann95]

holy fuck, four part grant morrison superman/authority mini (bonus points for DILF grey temples superman in the modern day), launching into a tom taylor jon title, pkj action comics, and tom king supergirl? i dunno' about you but this is the most excited i've been about the superman line in ages

Anonymous said: Hilarious that Taylor is finally writing Superman just as you’ve started to fall out of love with him. Also holy shit Morrison writing Superman IN-CONTINUITY AGAIN FUCK YES and he’s using Ultra-Humanite! I always thought it odd that his Golden Age inspired New 52 run left out Superman’s first supervillain. And oh man did you see that variant for Action in July? DC acknowledging Morrison’s t-shirt and jeans Superman again!

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: So Tom Taylor on Superman?

Anonymous said: Taylor writing Jonathan Kent??? No main Superman title???

Anonymous said: Fuck it if ai’m Morrison and I’m writing an in-continuity Superbook I’d fold as much of my Action run back into canon as I could. If Jurgens got to, they do.

cheerfullynihilistic said: So, Jon's promotion is happening bizarrely soon (or bizarrely late, depending on how you want to look at it) after the soft-reboot. Thoughts on the Superman family titles in July?

Anonymous said: What's your take on today's newly announced BOLD NEW DIRECTION for the Superman line?

apocryphist said: so, how about that Jon Kent news that's trending on Twitter?

Anonymous said: With the new Tom Taylor Son of Superman announcement, I have to say that I'm really suprised that DC is really sticking to the new and interesting directions with Future State and the Superman characters. You think they would have backpedaled, especially with the reactions to the Bendis run. What do you think is the reason that DC's finally doing interesting things with Superman now ?

After years of “so they’re gonna make Jon Superman, right?” it comes at last...via Taylor, right after he's delivered his first couple books to really disappoint me. Still, between his enthusiasm, the presence and fanbase he brings with him, and that the pressure on him to give it his all here is surely entirely different from any project he’s taken before, he might just be the guy to put over Jon in the cape as a long-term prospect in a way some preferred choices of mine wouldn’t have been. A Fraction for instance would have done more to blow me away, but in doing a single brilliant run there might have been more of an impetus in the aftermath to go “well, we saw the idea done well, that’s nice, now back to normal”, while it solidly purring along for a good long time with continuous support might do more as a running start to actually put fandom and ultimately higher-ups behind the idea of this as a desirable semi-permanent state of affairs that could lead to way more good stuff later. Put another way, Morrison Batman got us two years of Dick in the cowl, while Ron Marz gave Kyle Rayner a decade of uncontested stature as Green Lantern. Time will tell, but I think Taylor’s often been at his best when writing Superman - the earnestness and awe tends to short-circuit some of his worst instincts, as opposed to how Nightwing is feeding them - so I don’t really doubt this’ll be fun. I enjoy Timms too, and that cover (which thankfully is apparently not necessarily an accurate representation of the page/price ratio) rules. Kinda odd though neither Taylor (nor Morrison for the below) had any quotes to go with these announcements.

As for the other books (other than Supergirl, which doesn’t really have anything to announce):

Good lord that Tedesco Action Comics variant, make a grown man wanna cry. T-shirt Superman getting some proper love! More importantly, glad to see Lois on the main cover and in the solicit apparently ready to throw down with some Warworlders; I got an ask I was going to get around to before today changed the landscape asking about my thoughts on her absence in PKJ’s run. I was going to say that given his space-focused focus that didn’t bother me too much - yes, Ignition would have solved that problem, but you can’t blame someone for not having a game-changing brainstorm and convincing DC to go through with it as the status quo - especially with her playing a big role in Checkmate starting in June, and that I was more put off that the Tales of Metropolis backup specifically intended to spotlight everybody who wouldn’t fit on the cosmic side wasn’t doing anything with her. But now it seems after his initial arc she’s coming into the fold properly, so happy about that.

And hilariously buried in the announcement because it was already leaked so I guess they figured there was no point hyping it up any harder than everybody already had, Morrison’s presumably no-I’m-serious-this-time-you-guys final DC book. Aside from what I had to say when this first leaked, my main two thoughts are:

* Four issues rather than two oversized ones, huh? I said at the time this was avoiding Superman Beyond-style segmentation; ah well. Wonder whether Janin’s doing 30 pages per issue or if there are backups, and if so what those will be (please god, PLEASE, let Morrison finally do the Superman Squad story they once talked about here so I can finally rest in peace). And given this being a little more spaced out, along with notes that elements from this will play into Son of Kal-El as well as Action, I suspect/hope we might end up seeing some of Morrison writing Jon as Superman in here after all.

* This seems...shockingly minor? Not only is it apparently not in the future the way I’d assumed (even if I think the themes I envisioned for it will still largely be the case), but rather than a relatively standalone epic that PKJ’s Action would then draw from it’s instead this that’s explicitly a spinoff of that. Even given Morrison might conceivably want to take a backseat to the new guard, it’s shocking DC would go with it; the only particularly Morrison-y aspect in the description is that, as their final DC project, this is pitting Superman against his first villain in Ultra-Humanite (notably a baldie genius who ended up supplanted, wink-wink nudge-nudge).

Between these, the aforementioned Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow, Superman: Red and Blue, Superman ‘78, Batman/Superman, Justice League, Justice League: Last Ride, RWBY/Justice League, and the newly announced as I write this Justice League Infinity, that’s a damn stacked lineup for everybody with the S, quantitatively and creatively (Superboy being relegated to Suicide Squad notwithstanding) - you can even throw Project Patron on top if you’re feeling greedy. As for why this push is suddenly happening as the last anon asked, I think it’s entirely a matter of the new ownership: it’s easy to picture a fresh suit sitting down with DC’s upper brass and shitting a diamond-hard brick on the spot when told that there was a time not that long ago where their #2 property was being regularly outsold by this guy. Mass-media moves may be expensive and risky (and even his prospects there have clearly changed), but they can throw a couple bucks at their print division to keep churning stuff out in bulk until something sticks to reboot the franchise around in a decade.

[bentbliley]

i would just like to say that i’m a big fan of galactic man but there isn’t a lot of lore behind the toy(s) and since i’m probably the most knowledgeable person on the lore of galactic man who didn’t actually write the toy bios, i figured i’d compile my research into one place. i might also put an addendum w/ the short bts history of the original galactic man toy (which would also include a bit of tandy, radio shack, transformers, and transformers generations selects history) but for now, here’s my research into the lore of galactic man. if you just want the blurb of lore, scroll down until you see a bolder paragraph.

#long post #hyperfixation #fantasy firearms

ok so this is practically headcanon but there’s no canon so i’m just piecing together what i can from backs of boxes and 2 product catalog listings but here’s what i believe to be the story of galactic man.

id: the original galactic man, a monotone cycloptic robot w/ a bulky chest, a red eye on a hexagon head, and a gun barrel for a left hand. end id.

so let’s start w/ galactic man, he’s a metallic humanoid who can manipulate parts of his body to become weaponry. his three weapon modes are handheld laser gun for assisting in one-on-one battles, vulcan base destroyer to keep evil enemies from conquering the universe, and anti aircraft gun for protecting his outpost on an alien planet.

id: the back of galactic man’s box. the first galactic man logo is at the top and fades down from green to blue. a subtitle describes him as an “electronic space robot slash gun.” then 4 pictures of his 4 modes are shown. clockwise starting w/ top left, they are robot, hand gun, anti aircraft gun, and vulcan base destroyer. 5 bullet points under the pictures that describe the features of the toy. “twist and turn galactic man to create three menacing-looking galactic weapons,” ”anti-aircraft gun protect’s galactic man’s outpost from attacking invaders,” “vulcan base destroyer helps you keep your evil enemies from conquering the universe,” “handheld laser gun lets you battle one-on-one in thrilling space duels,” “exciting rapid-fire and long-beam sound effects with pulsating light for super galactic action.” end id

this product catalog tells us a little more about galactic man. not much but just enough. there’s a mystery as to whether he’s a man or machine implying that he is human sized and shrinks for the handgun mode and that other inhabitants of this universe don’t know either.

id: black and white high contrast print ad for galactic man. only his robot mode can be seen. the text that’s important to this post: “is he a man or machine? twist and turn to create an anti-aircraft gun, vulcan base destroyer or laser gun. exciting sound effects. seven inches tall.” end id.

so w/ all this, we can tell pretty clearly that galactic man is in an outpost on an alien planet and that the aliens who are trying to attack the outpost are called vulcans.

now, i can hear you all asking “what about robocop?” so here’s robocop. he was sold in 2 colour schemes, red and silver and then grey. the back of the box says “team up with galactic man” and basically says this is galactic man, not the robot that we associate w/ the name. this in addition to the lack of any mentions of vulcans and the new logo make me believe this is a completely different galactic man unrelated to the vulcan fighting machine or man. there’s a chance he’s like, the second galactic man or galactic man is a group which explains the pallet swap. this galactic man was supposedly released around 1990, a full 5 years after the original hit radio shack shelves, so it kinda makes sense that they wouldn’t be connected.

id: left: red and silver robocop galactic man holding a golden machine gun. right: grey robocop galactic man holding a yellow laser gun. end id

id: the entire left half is robocop’s face w/ a bright red lit up visor. the top right corner has the second galactic man logo. the flavour text reads as follows: “team up with galactic man to defend the universe! he has three mighty weapons to choose from - laser gun, machine gun and light sword. press on if the eight buttons on his back for exciting sound effects!” end id

i did find two other galactic blank toys sold by radio shack that could be related but idk. gonna talk about them anyway.

the galactic walker is probably a knockoff of tomy’s starriors strazor runabout. the logo for the galactic walker is different from either of the galactic man logos, the box doesn’t mention vulcans by name, and it’s totally out of scale as the gold pilot is about the same size as diaclone pilots at the time. i don’t believe the galactic walker is related to either of the galactic mans but i also don’t know if it was released in 1985 or 1990 so it could have been intended to be part of either galactic man toy “lines.”

id: galactic walker in dynatron mode which can best be described as a white robot sauropod w/ blue limbs and an orange cockpit face. end id.

id: side of galactic walker box. six bullet points describe the toy and are as follows: “conquers the enemy four different ways,” “motor power creatures over the toughest terrains,” “durable plastic body,” “leads the fight against evil space monsters,” “provides hours of fun for children of all ages,” “quickly changes into new shape,” end id.

lastly, the galactic space pistol which has a fourth logo style and doesn’t mention vulcans BUT it was released alongside the original galactic man as seen in the full page the earlier print ad came from as seen below. again, neither the box nor the ad mention vulcans, it’s really just by association.

id: blocky white sci-if pistol. missing battery cover on grip. end id.

id: the full page of radio shack ads. end id.

id: side of the galactic space pistol’s box. three bullet points reading: “defend your territory against the aliens,” “red and green pulsating lights flash in unison with the sound,” “rugged, milder design for hours of action.” end id.

so what have we learned today? that tandy really likes reusing the word galactic and they really don’t care because at the end of the day, mass market toys are just meant to take money out from parents’ wallets. the story, if any, is secondary and any comic, cartoon, or book made to go w/ the toys is purely advertising material and tandy didn’t care enough to actually make a story that could be easily found. but i think i can scrounge a quick summary of what the story might be, feel free to chime in w/ your own interpretations but mine is just a rearrangement of the bullet points on the boxes for reader digestibility.

so, galactic man is a mysterious robot who may be human or may just be a simple machine meant to protect the inhabitants of an outpost on an alien planet from the creatures known as vulcans. galactic man can change shape and size to turn into weaponry for the outposters. an anti-aircraft gun for protection from the vulcans’ aerial assault. a handheld pistol for limited space mono e mono (in the english misinterpretation, not the spanish translation). and lastly, a weapon designed specifically to take down vulcan bases of operation. a pistol is also available for the outposters for protection when galactic man isn’t available.

NOTE: i can’t tell what the outposters are. is it an apocalypse setting? are they colonisers? are they scientific researchers? hard to say. could be all three, who knows? do i really want a galactic man comic or cartoon or something? h*ll yes i do. will i write fan fic for galactic man? maybe nebulously in the future when i have time. i know for a fact i definitely want that gens selects galactic man just for my love of all this, i’m debatably the biggest galactic man fan so it’d be weird if i didn’t wanna get it at some point. it’s also the perfect intersection between my love of shapeshifting robot toys and 80s computers as the tandy that owned radio shack at the time is the same tandy that produced computers in the 80s.

[bard-llama]

WiP Wednesday: Saskia Coming of Age Story

Today’s snippet is small, but it comes with info about a new story all about Saskia! 

I wanted to try to explore a Saskia that was a little less self-assured and assertive than my usual portrayal of her. At first I thought I was gonna do that through a romance and like, there might still be elements of that. But it’s really a coming of age story.

Premise: Dragons develop quickly. Within their first two years, their parent(s) teach them all they must know, and then they venture out into the world on their own. Saesenthessis explores the continent/globe for a while all alone, but when she starts to get lonely, she finds herself curious about the dwarven city of Vergen. But two-leggeds hunt dragons, so to protect herself, she polymorphs into her human form. But she’s never actually met a human before. So while she learns how to do that, she lives in the human ghetto of Vergen (the area where the Scoia’tael stay in the game) in a lil house and ends up building a community around her. Also at some point in here, Iorveth shows up. Idk when exactly tho.

So I think the bulk of the story is going to be Saskia learning how to human in Vergen and like, slowly learning about humans and dwarves and elves and also how to fight. Eventually, she decides to join the Aedirnian army (after she can fight or do they teach her?)

She works hard and trains with the army and makes friends with everyone she can, but no one knows who she actually is. She finds herself desperate to talk about stuff, so she adopts a stray cat and talks to it - all about what she’s learning and how she’s messed up and how weird mammals are and suchlike.

Eventually a general in the army sees her sparring or something and decides she has potential and enrolls her in officer’s training, where she gets taught how to read and write (but only in ‘Common’. I think she also gets taught Elder by some dwarves though). 

She sees all the stuff going on around her and has strong opinions on it, but she doesn’t really know what to do with these feelings. Until she meets Iorveth.

So, this is my canon for how they meet, but for this specific fic, it might need to change a little? idk. I had a comic half drawn of this, but I lost it when my computer bit the dust along with all my other art. 😞

Anyway, Saskia is flying around as a dragon (she needs to resume her natural form every so often + needs to absorb fire to sustain herself) when she hears screaming in the forest. So she lands and transforms and goes to the rescue of whoever was screaming - only to find that to be a human being tortured by Iorveth. Her interference lets the human run away and Iorveth is more than a little pissed about it. They argue a bit (all “this is not the way to make change!” and “yeah, you got a better idea?”) and then Iorveth ends up shouting something like, “who are you to talk? You’re nobody doing nothing significant” or something harsh that makes Saskia realize that she needs to put her money where her mouth is. More, that she wants to do that. But she doesn’t know where to start. So she goes looking for Iorveth and thus begins a beautiful friendship. Jk at first they’re kinda prickly with each other ‘cause Iorveth can’t quite believe that a human actually wants to fight for change. 

I have no idea how he finds out that she’s a dragon, but at some point before that, they’re just chatting or something and she’s feeling low on energy, so she just walks into a fucking campfire and Iorveth about has a heart attack, because “omg are dh’oine impervious to fire now!? wtf!?!?!”

Anyway, inspired by Iorveth, Saskia works to move into positions of leadership and becomes a commander (general?) in the Aedirnian army. Of course, this is the witcher world, so she mostly discovers that beaurocracy’s a bitch and the system is fucked. If they wanna change the world, they’re gonna need to overhaul the whole thing. But how do they do that? 

Thus the Free Pontar Valley is born. So like, basically, this is a story of how Saskia gets to be who she is in canon. 

Anyway, I gotta start work soon, so have a snip from the very beginning where Villentretenmerth teaches Saskia to polymorph for the first time.

“As you know,” her father began, voice deep and gravely in her head, “you will soon be of an age to go out on your own. But before you do, I have one thing left to teach you.”

“Mmhm,” she hummed absently, eyes tracking the trajectory of a huge bee as it buzzed around their cave.

“Saesenthessis,” Villentretenmerth snapped. “Pay attention!”

Saesenthessis groaned, “yes, father.” She huffed a breath of smoke at the bee, then turned her snout back towards her father.

The sun reflected off of his golden scales in a way it never did with her green ones, and Saesenthessis found her eyes tracing the rainbow-like patterns on the walls of the cave.

Villentretenmerth’s sigh was deep and heartfelt and Saesenthessis guiltily refocused on him.

“This is important,” he scolded her. “I have told you how dangerous the world is for dragons. We are some of the last in existence.” There was deep pain in her father’s voice and it was echoed in Saesenthessis' heart. She had never known other dragons, but her father had shared sense memories from days when he’d flown with a whole hoard of dragons around him. “In order to stay safe, or even just to walk amongst a different people for a time, you must be able to assume many forms.”

“Why would I want to be something else?”

Her father hummed, a rumbling sound in his chest. “This world is mostly made up of two-legged species. They do not understand dragons, do not understand how to communicate with us, nor can most be bothered to try. Instead, they hunt us for our hoards out of greed, believing that all that we treasure must be precious gems and gold.”

“Rubies are pretty,” she muttered. “I’ve heard this lecture before, Father. But why do two-leggeds matter? Can’t I just be me forever?”

A wave of sadness from her father made her wince and curl in on herself. She hated making him sad.

“Once,” he said softly, “that would perhaps have been possible. When there were enough dragons in the world, you could stay in this form for a lifetime without trouble. But the world we live in now? It’s… it’s lonely, Saesenthessis. All beings must build ties to those around them. When two-leggeds are all that are around…” Villentretenmerth sighed heavily. “It’s not so bad, really. You’ve liked Teá and Veá when they’ve come around, have you not?”

“I guess? But what about the other two-legged species?”

“There are a number of them,” he nodded. “We will go through each of them. But first things first. Let’s start with how to polymorph.”

She still didn’t understand why, but she kept quiet and let the lesson move on.

[aprils-arcadia]

Opportunity

Member: Wonpil Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1,8k Summary: On a rainy night Wonpil meets someone that helps him see the world a little differently

People always say that you should take an opportunity when it arises. Wonpil on the other hand didn't see it that way. He wasn't good at that sort of thing. Taking advantage of a situation. He was way too shy and awkward to act quickly or even make up his mind and most of his opportunities passed him by with an almost comically whooshing sound. The opportunity to earn a few extra bucks by asking the boss of the convenience store when he found out the sales increased since Wonpil started working there. The opportunity to take a trip with his parents just by agreeing to something immediately. The opportunity to  finish some of his courses earlier. All these opportunities had vanished right before his eyes. 

But by now he had gotten used to it. He didn't need to be an opportunist. Especially because by now he sort of felt like being that kind of person would be somewhat selfish and reckless. No, he decided to walk this life at his own pace on his own path. Sure he regretted missing a few possibilities but he tried not to dwell on it too long. What good would it bring? Probably nothing. 

He was walking across campus back to his dorm when it suddenly started to rain. Within seconds this small rain developed into a downpour, with the clouds spilling out all the water they had stored for the past few weeks. He didn’t bring his umbrella since it had been a mild summer night and he didn't even notice that a storm was brewing. He sprinted across the quad until he arrived at the architecture faculty. Its pompeus design offered just enough shelter for him to avoid the falling rain. He panted. Physical activity really wasn't one of his strong suits. Normally he spent all his time holed up in libraries or lecture halls and didn't really find time to do anything apart from occasionally biking into town or sprinting to a lecture when he once again found himself to be late.

He let his hands rest on his legs and tried to steady his breathing. 

The night had been clear until a few seconds ago but now everything was filled with the mist of the falling water and the splashes in the quickly forming puddles. He sank to his feet and leaned against the cold stonewall of the building, letting his head fall. Amidst the gushing water he heard a faint hum. Probably just a nearby party that was just about to start but gradually the hum grew louder and closer. He heard the splashes of the water change their pattern. It wasn't just the rain anymore.

He could make out a small figure steadily making it’s way towards him but apparently not in a straight line. Instead it turned and swayed in the hazy rain. The sound of squeaking sneakers becoming more and more pronounced. By now he was able to recognize the faint hum as a melody one he wasn’t quite familiar with. Wonpil waited in anticipation to see what kind of person would be happily humming and dancing in this downpour. 

The figure came closer and he could make out the features a little clearer. It seems to be a young woman probably about his age. But he couldn't really be sure. The humming stopped the second they locked eyes. Wonpil quickly averted his gaze not wanting to give the impression that he had been watching her. He heard the squishing sound her wet sneakers made coming closer until something was dripping on his shoulder. He looked up to see her standing in front of him holding out her hand. Inviting him to stand up. 

“Come on. Up you go,” she said making a motion with her fingers. She smiled brightly at him, her round face framed by strands of wet dark brown hair. Her navy blue shirt that almost appears black from the water, was clinging to her body in several places. She had slung a flannel shirt around her waist that was now slowly dripping and forming puddles in front of his feet. He didn’t know what to do. Was she really serious? What would she want with him?

“Come on. You can't let me wait here forever. I’ll look like an idiot.”

Wonpil looked up to her and found himself utterly helpless. What on earth was she expecting from him?

“But you don’t even know me,” he said silently almost to himself. 

“Well frankly I don't have to. I mean look at you. You're sitting here drenched looking like it had been months since you’ve had a good time. So why shouldn't I give it a shot. I mean what else did you have planned. Sit here feeling sorry for yourself?”

Wonpil’s expression hardened. She didn't have to be this blunt about it. Obviously he didn’t have any plans. The only thing left on his agenda was cooking himself a cup of ramen in the dorm and maybe read a few chapters of his current book. So nothing particularly thrilling. He grabbed her hand, just to prove her wrong. Much to his surprise it was warm considering the fact she’d just taken a complete shower in the rain, and got up from the ground. 

Instead of letting go she had grabbed his hand tightly and dragged him back into the rain. 

“Now do me a favor. Just look up at the sky. Close your eyes and just feel the rain on your face. Isn't it one of the most amazing feelings? Can you feel how every raindrop is caressing your skin? We often just run out of the rain as fast as we could without even appreciating its beauty. Just think about it. When was the last time you just stopped to appreciate a moment?”

Wonpil couldn’t tell. It felt like he was running on autopilot for quite awhile now. His life split into work, college and the few moments he had to himself. 

“See. Your silence just says it all. Now let's have some fun, shall we?”

He turned his eyes back to her and noticed her mischievous smirk. The faint light of the streetlights that framed the path enveloped her in a warm golden glow and made her features appear softer than they probably were. He wondered how she must look like in bright daylight. Would she still look as kind as she did now or would the harsh reality of the day reveal a different side of her. He shook his head to get rid of the thought. It wasn't what this was about and for once he didn't want to overthink something. As she said, it had been months since he really enjoyed a moment. 

“So what now?” he asked equally scared and in anticipation of what she would have in mind.

“When was the last time you jumped into a puddle? I mean like really jumped. Not just trying to jump across one and failing but to seriously aim for it”

“Excuse me?” Wonpil did not expect this question. What was he, a four year old? But while he was formulating a good response in his head he was met with a huge splash of water to his side that reached up to his hips. 

“You didn’t seriously just do that, did you?” 

“Indeed I have and I highly recommend you try it. Now get that stick out of your a** and jump”

“But what about my shoes?”

“Oh boo hoo. They are wet anyway. Why not make it worth it?”

Wonpil seriously started to wonder what he just got himself into but he could practically feel her eyes on him, waiting for him to jump. So what other option was he left with? So he just ignored the fact that grown ups don’t do this sort of thing and jumped into the next best puddle. The water came gushing towards him and he could feel his shoes fill up with water. A loud laugh escaped his mouth and he could hear clapping from behind him.

“Well done,” she rejoiced. “Now that’s what I call a smile. Finally you don’t look like a week of gloomy weather.” she giggled to herself at the joke she just made and waited for him to react. Instead he just stood there with a grin on his face that he wasn’t aware he was even still capable of. 

They spend some time jumping from one puddle to the next and laughing like children. It was weird at first but by now he just enjoyed the sound the water made when his feet hit the ground and how much joy such a simple and albeit childish thing could still bring him.

She let her head fall back and looked at the sky, starting to hum that unfamiliar melody again. The melody was beautiful and the sound of the falling rain and the cicadas in the background rounded up the arrangement perfectly. She stood near a streetlight and it felt like he just wandered into his very own movie scene or maybe more accurately her own world.  

“What’s that song?” he asked as he walked closer to her trying his hardest to remember where he could have heard it.

“It’s a song from one of my favorite movies. It’s actually a waltz? Wanna give it a try?”

“What do you mean by-” Wonpil’s question was interrupted by her taking his hands, placing one of them on her lower back and placing her hand in the other one. 

“I... I really can’t-”

“Let me guess you can't dance. Well neither can I. But that doesn't stop me from doing so. Just listen to the melody and trust your instincts.”

With those words she resumed to hum the melody. He couldn’t figure out how it had gotten to this but at this very moment here he was standing in the pouring rain only inches away from a complete stranger dancing to a song that couldn’t have been anymore perfect. This felt so out of character for him that he questioned if he was awake or if someone had taken over possession of his body. Things like that didn’t just happen to him. They happened to others. To the popular ones. To the jocks and the preps, but not to him. His life wasn’t magical like that.

“Who are you?”

“It doesn’t really matter now, does it?” 

She might be right. Right at this moment it might not matter but this time around he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He didn't want this to end without knowing who she was. Without having the possibility to meet her again. This was the first opportunity in a long time he was willing to take. 

“It matters to me,” he said, impressed by the firmness in his own voice.

She met his eyes and smiled at him. A smile that said more than he could have read into it. 

“We'll see each other again. Don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure of that.”

[honeyjaez]

Maze of Miroh- Chapter 13 “Unexpected Welcome”

Ahh here it is! Sorry for the long wait. 

Because it’s been a hot second since the last update, here is how we ended last chapter:

“Minho!”

Jisung’s words were drowned out as he groaned in pain.  His eyes shot opened and he looked up to see a strange blonde overlooking his slumped body, a fox like grin etched on his face. The stranger opened his palm to reveal a small golden object dangling from his hands and Minho’s heart sank.

His locket.

“Finders Keepers” the boy sneered, his fox smile getting bigger and bigger.

“Hey!” Minho yelled, quickly standing up. “Give that back!”

The fox boy looked down at the locket, then turned back to Minho, eyes holding a mischievous glint to them. “Ooooo tempting…but I think I’ll pass. Think of this as payment for not killing you guys on the spot.” Despite his severe words, the fox like grin seemed to be permanent on his face and he gave Minho a cheeky wave before dashing off in a blinding speed.

Minho let out a small growl and shot up, chasing after him despite his members yelling at him to come back. He locked eyes with the strange blonde who noticed Minho following him and begun running faster, almost catching up to him.  The thief noticed this and gave Minho a playful look

“Alright” he could hear him say “You wanna play? Then let’s play pretty boy.” His voice was light but Minho could hear the homicidal tone to it “Let me welcome you to The Under.”

 Minho could still hear Jisung and the others yelling after him as he chased the mysterious thief down, but made no attempt to stop. His only focus was on the figure in front of him and him alone. His eyes were locked on their back as they continued to lead down a darkened path.

In hindsight, Minho knew that it was a wrong move in chasing after the thief. He was still a newbie when it came to fighting and he already could tell the thief in front of him was more than adapt at fighting than he was. He knew the stupid locket Hyunjae gave him was not worth endangering himself, but he didn’t care. Part of him wanted the locket back ...badly.

Not to mention he was rather pissed off that this fox boy thought he was just some quick score. 

After running down another turn, Minho saw the blond tilt his head to the side slightly, locking eyes with him before a fox like grin appeared once again. Minho glared back and huffed in annoyance at his offhand, taunt. 

“This guy hasn’t even broken a sweat yet”

And it was true. Minho thought he, himself had amazing stamina. He may not have a lot of strength, but in just the few short weeks he was a part of SKZ, he could already outrun everyone in the group but Felix.

However, dealing with this thieving blond, Minho realized that he was actually getting tired. Meanwhile the thief didn’t seem to mind at all, and as if he could read Minho’s thoughts, the boy smirked backwards, pointing a finger at him. “Getting tired old man?”

Minho took a deep breath, trying to steady his breathing and not sound so out of breath. “You…wish” he panted. Dammit.

“I’ll give you some credit though.” The annoying blond said again, ignoring his obvious attempt at hiding his fatigue “Not many can keep up with me.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment” Minho snapped back.

But Minho began to grow worried. How much longer did he have in him? They must have been running for at least 10 minutes now and the young thief ahead of him showed no signs of stopping.  Sweat began dripping from his forehead as the rounded another corner and his heart sank realizing he had another problem on his hand.

With every step, and every corner ran, he got further and further from the others.  And after the 20th turn made, he suddenly didn’t know which way he came from which spelt bad news for Minho. Especially when they are about to step foot in a supposed underground thug city.

He needed to regroup with the others… and fast.

Minho grit his teeth as his attention went back to the blond running ahead of him. If he couldn’t catch up to him, he was going to need to stop him in his tracks.

The runner quickly reached inside his pocket for anything that might help his situation. Anything that might help ensnare the thief in a trap. Just then his hand bumped up against a small, cold object in his pocket and his eyes blew wide open, remembering.  He pulled out the object and looked down at it. It was a miniature bomb that Hyunjin had given him just before they left for the Under

*flashback*

Grabbing the last of his stuff, Minho closed the door behind him and turned to head back towards the meeting room. But before he could take a step farther, he felt an arm grab him, thrusting his body backwards. His eyes were met with Hyunjin’s small ones, and before Minho could ask anything he felt Hyunjin slip a few cold objects into his hand, closing it and shoving it back into his pocket.

“They are small, but it packs a punch.” He mysteriously explained “But be careful….they react instantly when thrown against something so make sure you aren’t too close to the blast zone”

~~~~

 Minho stared down at the small object, a small plan forming in his head. His worried expression now changing into that of a smirk and he knew what he needed to do.

He just needed the perfect spot.

“You spacing out old man?” the boy called out again.

Minho looked up and locked eyes with the thief, his gaze unreadable “Nope. Just thinking!” he called back.

The two rounded another corner and that’s when Minho saw it. He had lead the two of them into a rather large clearing, with the only two exits begin that in which they came from and where they were heading. Not to mention lots, and lots and lots of rocks.

This was his chance. A small opening, almost like a door with rocks overhead laid on the other side of the room. It was a perfect spot. And San’s only exit.

 Minho clutched the miniature bomb in his hand, readying his arm for the wind-up. If he was going to do this, then he needed to hit his mark first try.

Just a little closer.

Once he got in range, he knew the time was now. Minho quickly threw the mini bomb as hard as he could, just over the opening, and like Hyunjin promised the bomb activated instantly, exploding the rocky wall and ceiling above. Rocks and boulders began to crumble down in large chunks, covering the opening. And before the blonde could slip through, a large chunk of ceiling fell over the opening, blocking his exit completely.

The thief seemed somewhat shocked at the turn of events, and Minho took this chance to stop and catch his breath as the room around them shook.

The boy slowly stood up from the ground, his eyes locking and staying with Minho’s the entire time.  He looked at him with annoyed expression on his face, but then a second later gave him a toothy grin as he placed his hand on the back on his neck.

 “You are just FULL of surprises aren’t you?” he tried teasing him with his lighthearted tone, but Minho wasn’t having any of it.

The blond didn’t seem to be making a break for the exit behind them so Minho took this chance to check him out further. He certainly had a baby face, but from closer inspection Minho realized he wasn’t much younger than himself. He had longer hair than him, strands covering his eyes somewhat, and hair bleached blond with his darker roots started to show. His face was narrow and sharp and Minho stood, rather amazed. He really does look like Fox.

The young thief let out a chuckle realizing Minho was checking him out and winked at him playfully “Like what you see pretty boy? I’m not one for old men, but for you I’ll make an exception.”

Is he…Is he flirting with me?

Minho rolled his eyes and scoffed “We are practically the same age so why are you calling me old man?!”

The blonde let out a light laugh, suddenly taking up stance, and preparing to fight. “You move just like one.”

“Do not!” he argued childishly.

The blond suddenly vanished from Minho’s sight before he could get another word out and it took his brain a few more seconds to realize. All of a sudden, he felt the boys presence behind him, like he suddenly appeared out of thin air and a quick, harsh punch to his back caused the older boy’s body to crumble to the ground. Minho winced in pain as he recovered, and rubbed the lower half of his back. He heard footsteps beside him and looked up to see the younger boy smiling at him with his fox like grin.

“Well, in your defense.” he said suddenly “Compared to me, everyone moves like an old man”

Minho bit his tongue and quickly shot himself back up, aiming a leg towards the boys head. The boy seemed unfazed and again vanished from Minho’s sight in a blur of smoke. His leg swung back around and landed on the ground without hitting anything. His brain began working in overdrive, trying to figure out just what the hell was happening, but before he could, another heavy impact hit him now in the side. Minho’s body staggered backwards a few steps and locked eyes with the rather playful blond who looked like fox, playing with its food.

What exactly is going on here? He thought “Why does it seem like he just isn’t there any-“

“Confused?”

Minho snapped his head back to reality and looked at the thief who was now leaning on a rather large bolder that fell in the explosion. Minho looked at him with annoyance and puzzlement on his face.

When he didn’t answer, the blond tilted his head to one side, an almost shocked look on his face. “You really don’t know do you?” amazement in his voice

“Know what?” Minho snapped

But the blond seemed too preoccupied with his own grief to care about Minho’s annoyance. He dramatically threw himself on the rock in exasperation. “Just my luck! Out of all the powerhouses in your group I pick the newbie to play with.”

The boy began slapping himself playfully on the forehead “Stupid Stupid Stupid”

 This rubbed Minho the wrong way and he felt anger rising in his throat. “You don’t know me” he spat “so don’t act like I’ve already lost this fight.”

“Ahh!” the blonde’s innocent face was almost comical as he looked back towards Minho, sliding off the rock. “But you see, you already have lost this fight!” he shook his head in mocked sadness “You don’t even know that you are fighting a Miracle and yet you still think you can come out on top?” he shrugged his shoulders loud and theatrically “Sad really.”

Minho’s eyes went huge. A Miracle? He is a Miracle?

That would make sense. His incredible endurance. Minho couldn’t come anywhere near him. And he swears the boy is vanishing from his eyesight every single time like he disappears into thin air.

Like he could read his thoughts, the blond looked back at him, but his expression wasn’t playful anymore. He was serious, gazing at Minho with a sense of disgust aimed at him. “Do you understand now? If you intend to fight me, you’ll die.”

Minho felt goosebumps on his skin as the thief’s words finally registered in his brain. This was bad. The Order? Fine. Mindless Agents? Cool. Even fighting Hyunjae was more ideal to him at this moment then fighting a super human powered battery cell with sociopathic tendencies.

His body screamed at him to run the other way, but he quickly swallowed the fear as best as he could, gulping loudly. He began remapping everything Jisung has been teaching him in the practice room as well as what his own instincts were telling him. He fell into his own stance, and tried to match the blonde thief’s immense intensity.

“Unfortunately for you,” Minho hissed “I recently made the stupid resolve to never quit so I won’t be leaving until I get what belongs to me”

And just like a switch, the blonde’s serious expression melted away into that of a sly grin.

“Your funeral.”

And then just like that, the thief vanished from Minho’s vision once again. But Minho expected this. He quickly lifted his arms up to the side of his face, baring himself where he hoped the Miracle was aiming. A swift punch to the gut made him realize however that he guessed wrong and his body bent over as he revolted spit onto the ground.

But it wasn’t over yet. It seemed his attacker was keen on kicking him while he was down as he felt the air around him shift again.  Minho spun around expecting a kick in his back, only to feel a hard stinging pain explode in his face as he was flung to the side, and hitting the rocky wall behind him.

Minho’s body crumpled to the floor, but he quickly recovered himself and stood back up facing his opponent. He could feel blood trickle down his face from where he was kicked but did his best to ignore it.

This was his new life. Blood, sweat, and dirt, and if he was going to fight Hyunjae and The Order, he was going to accept that and become stronger.

Minho tried to quickly scan the area around him, trying to think of a plan, but it seems that his opponent wouldn’t give him the chance as he vanished once more from Minho’s sight and suddenly appeared in front of him, knocking him squarely in his jaw, and sending him flying.

However it would seem he was not done yet, and before Minho’s brain could comprehend the pain from the first blow, the blond appeared overhead of him and kicked him hard in his stomach again. Minho’s body crash landed so hard into the ground the gravel below him crumbled, causing in indent in the floor.

He was getting his ass kicked and quickly needed to change the tides of this battle. His body erupted in a volcano of pain and as he rose, he let out a few ragged coughs, littering the ground below him in specks of blood.

Alright. Now I’m pissed off

His eyes latched onto the younger boys and he glared daggers into him as he shook himself. The younger boy gave a hearty laugh and turned around, his back facing Minho  “4 hits from me and you can still stand!” he whistled “I’m somewhat impresse-“

The boy’s words were cut off as Minho’s fist made contact with the side of his face, sending the lanky figure flying.

It took almost all of Minho’s strength to hit him with that amount of force but to his dismay, the blonde quickly recovered himself, landing on all fours nearby. Minho noticed a large bruise forming on the boy’s right cheek however and gave the boy a small smirk. Guess his hit did something after all.

“You were saying?” Minho’s voice was rough with pain but he still managed to smile as the thief felt the side of his face and took pride as he saw the boy wince in pain.

Minho’s small victory was short lived however, and he saw the blond practically growl at him launching himself forwards and towards him. He raised his arms just in time to block the boy’s right leg from hitting him right in the face, but the experienced fighter took advantage of Minho’s unprotected lower half and swung his other leg against Minho’s own.

Minho, acting on pure instincts, quickly jumped up, causing the boys kick to miss and latched his hand into the blonde’s hair, pulling back roughly in an attempt to distract him long enough. But the plan failed, as the younger boy took this opportunity and pushed Minho’s body with his own, propelling them both forward. His back landed with a dull thud on the ground below.  He gasped, needing a moment to breath, but the soft sound of unsheathing metal hit his ears and he knew he was in for it now.

Minho quickly reach at his side and whipped out his small dagger just in time to clash with the blonde’s curved short sword that seemed to appear out of nowhere and silently cursed at the pure size difference in their weapons.  Since he was still new in the fighting world, Minho was still not permitted his own weapon, like Jisung’s electronic knuckles, or Felix’s twin daggers. Hell he wasn’t even allowed his own gun yet like Hyunjin or Changbin. Something about learning how to fight without a weapon in case you don’t have one or some bull shit like that, but he silently cursed at all of them wishing to have one of those things in this very moment.

The fox boy smiled down at him, almost like he was enjoying the fight. He could feel added pressure as he was trying to overpower the elder, but Minho wasn’t having any of that and they both struggled to overpower the other.  Then an idea hit Minho and he looked up at him, quickly kicking the younger boy off of him.

This caught the younger boy by surprise and his body landed off near the wall. Both boys stood up, panting hard as neither took their eyes off each other.  

It was the other boy who broke first and gave Minho a smirk “Okay scratch that. I am mildly impressed now.”

“Speak for yourself” Minho spat, bracing himself for another round.

But to his confusion­-and annoyance the boy seemed uninterested in fighting at the moment, taking his chance to check Minho out closer, his eyes narrowing in slight excitement. “What’s your name?”

His question caught Minho off guard and he let out a puff of exasperation, clearly annoyed at the supposed bi-polar thief. He wasn’t seriously asking for his name here and now?

When Minho made no attempt to answer him, the younger boy motioned towards himself with a small smile “My name is San.” He said “Local resident of The Under.”

Minho scoffed, unable to keep silent .“Has anyone ever told you that you are crazy?” he asked.

San ignored his comment and motioned him again “Now tell me your name” he urged quickly.

He seemed so serious. So sincere.

Minho glared at him, untrustworthy “None of your business” he snapped finally. .

Still unbothered, San winked at him “So spunky”  he teased “Look I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then don’t!” Minho harshly snapped back, relaxing his body slightly. He raised his hand to point towards his chest where his locket rested. “Return me what’s mine and I’ll walk away!”

Minho was so unbelievably pissed off by now and he knew that San could tell because the younger boy only smirked and dangled the locket between his fingers before giving him a side smirk. “Fine. Have it your way. You want this?” he motioned to the necklace “Then come and get it”

 Minho launched himself forward with quick speed, but San expected this and did a quick side step. But Minho was quick on his feet and mocked the move, following the younger’s movements.

This seemed to surprise San for a split second, but he quickly recovered himself before Minho could take advantage of his confusion. Once again, San seemingly disappeared from his vision and he felt a kick in his back.

Minho felt his body impact with the ground but quickly recovered himself by pushing himself up by his hands. He spun around and kicked San hard in the face with his boot. But to his dismay, San grabbed hold of his boot and spun Minho back around so that his face was flushed against the younger boy’s chest. But before Minho could comprehend what San had planned, he felt a cold object pressed up against his cheek. Minho let out a loud gulp, knowing the feeling of a knife against skin too well now.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to kill me?” Minho challenged.

San let out a chuckle, bringing his lips to Minho’s ears as he caught his breath “I said didn’t, not that I wouldn’t” he growled. “Fun or not, I am a guard of The Under” the blond continued. “And you sir” he added with added pressure to the knife “are a trespasser.”

Minho struggled against the boy, ashamed that his strength was being over powered by someone younger than him. “I… ugh… we are here for help!” he exclaimed.

San’s grip on him held steady but the pressure of the knife soften slightly “Help?” he asked, genuinely intrigued. ”What does Bang Chan and his righteous group of good-doers need from us?”

“The Order” Minho began explaining through huffs “We stole a virus from them but we need someone by the name of Dowoon to help figure out what it does”

“Four-eyes?”

 “Chan said he lives down here with you all.” He continued to explain in desperation “We need to speak to him!”

If I can get him on our side….

San seemed to be processing Minho’s words for a brief moment and Minho used this chance to break himself free of San’s grip, throwing his body backwards in a jerking motion. He spun back around to find San standing still in the same spot, eyes glazing over like he was thinking of something far away.

He began mumbling something incoherently, and Minho strained his ears forward to hear what the younger boy was saying.

“….Maybe this time….”

Minho titled his head, trying to figure out what the boy was talking about, but before he could ask, he saw San’s serious frown quickly change back into an almost painful smile, shaking himself, as if tiding himself of whatever thought he had. He turned his gaze back onto Minho and just like that, the old San returned, a ghost of a sly smile on his face.

“Sorry beautiful” he chirped “Last time we trusted someone from up above, it ended up biting us in the ass.” He explained, pulling out his short sword and lowing himself towards the ground. “We WON’T make that mistake a second time!”

And he vanished.

The next thing Minho knew, he felt an excruciating sense of pain coming from his right cheek.

“Agh!” his hand flew to his face as he cradled his wound and fell to the ground. A sticky substance covered his hand and he knew he was bleeding. The pain was so sharp, so excoriatingly painful that it took Minho a second to realize San was still standing behind him, weapon in hand, staring deviously at him.

Acting on instincts alone, Minho pushed himself off the ground and away from the thief, hand still cradling his wound. He stared back at San who licked Minho’s blood off the sword, his homicidal aura spiking. He vanished again but this time Minho knew what to do, and quickly raised his arms, using his small dagger to bare the short sword before it swing down and sliced him again.

San pushed himself against Minho, the two boys matching their strengths.  

“Out of everyone” he suddenly said “you are one of the fastest I’ve faced.”

Minho grunted against his blade, weapons shaking as they both vied to over-power to other. San pushed his head towards Minho as he began to gain favor.  

“But now I’m going to have to show you REAL speed.”

Suddenly and without warning, San pushed Minho away, crouching low on the ground and launching his body forward. As fast as his body would allow it, Minho quickly side steps to the side, just barley managing to avoid a fatal slice of San’s sword. Minho grunted in pain as the weapon still managed a small slice in his side but stayed light on his feet as San quickly spun around, chasing after him.

Minho began running backwards, trying to avoid San’s barrage of swings. But he knew it was pointless.

With all that he was, Minho was nowhere near as strong or as fast as San was. If he didn’t think of something….and fast, he really was going to die.

And as if fate answered his calls, Minho tripped over an unseen rock behind him and his body stopped abruptly, landing on the ground. Nearly a second too late, he quickly rasied his dagger up, blocking San’s attack once again. The smaller crawled onto of the older boy, hovering over him as his sword threatened to cut his throat wide open.

Shit Shit Shit he thought, struggling against his strength.  This was a different San than from before. Maybe earlier he was just toying with Minho, but everything about this San here and now was much more powerful. Much more dangerous.

I need to think of something….and fast

All of a sudden, like a gift from the gods, Minho spotted something passed the thief’s head and a plan began forming in his own head. He just needed to be smart about this.

In hopes to distract the homicidal thief, he quickly let out a hearty laugh, bluffing arrogance. 

 San seemed to notice this change in him because he felt the knife being pushed against his throat harder now.

“What are you so smiley about eh?” he taunted.

Minho let out a small chuckle, all too aware of the knife at his throat. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it now. “Oh you know” he said “Just how I’m going to get my necklace back.”

Minho watched as San’s face contorted in a variety of emotions from confusion to annoyance and then finally settling on his ever famous fox smile. “Oh? And how do you plan on doing that? Running?”

“Nope.” Minho said, still smirking “I know now that I can’t ever outrun you”

“Then how do you plan on taking your necklace back?” there was a hint of uncertainty in the younger blonde’s eyes, as Minho’s confidence threw him off key. He slowly reached inside his pocket, feeling a familiar object, cold in his hands.

“Like this!” Without missing a beat, Minho ripped the locket hanging around San’s neck, pulling it off roughly. But before San could retaliate, he quickly threw another one of Hyunjin’s small bomb towards the ceiling, farther off and kicked San off of him, jerking him  right into the direct line of rocks that were now falling down.

The blond, for as fast as he was, couldn’t move out of the way fast enough and his body vanished under a large pile of rubble.

The roaring from the bomb devoured the room and Minho was left to sit there in an almost calm silence as he waiting for the noise to die down.  Eventually the rumbling stopped around him and he was left alone, a pile of rocks next to him where San had been.

Minho could barely believe what just happened. It actually worked. A stupid plan of his actually worked.  His body went numb from the pure adrenaline pumping through his veins, and he stayed completely still, as he stared at the damage he had caused.

 “Minho!”

A familiar voice broke Minho out of his trance, and he widened his eyes as he recognized Jisung entering in earshot. He tilted his head over his shoulder just in time to see the young brunette bolt into view, Chan and Woojin in toe in from where he originally came from. They finally had caught up to him.  Minho gave the group a sheepish smile and a halfhearted wave, knowing he must have looked like crap from his fight. He saw the pure sight of relief on Jisung’s face before it settled back into an angry one, running up to him.

“You idiot!” the younger scolded, slapping Minho on the top of his head before offering a hand to help him up.

“I know I know” he mumbled.

“Do you?” Jisung challenged “because I’m started to think you really just are all beauty and no brains!” he rebuked glaring hard.

“Let me see you” Woojin said urgently, moving Jisung aside and cradling Minho’s face gently while observing him. Minho felt Woojin gently rub his thumb against the gash on his face that San had given him, and after a few tense moments he heard the elder sigh, removing his hands from his face.

“Well you don’t need stiches but I expect that pretty face of yours will now have a scar.”

“Good” Jisung grumbled “Maybe it will make him smarter…”

Minho felt a smile tug at his lips as he heard their stern, yet concerning tone. He nodded his thanks and turned his face to Chan, who was a bit slower in walking up to them. Minho was somewhat shocked to see him with such anger in his eyes, but he reminded himself that his anger was much warranted. Suddenly Minho felt very ashamed of himself. He ran off, he endangered the group, he was incredibly reckless and could have gotten himself killed. Not to mention almost ruining their plan in finding Dowoon.

 Of course Chan was going to be angry.

“Hyung I-“

Minho’s words were cut off as a sharp slap sounded through the room. It came so fast that it took Minho’s brain a few more seconds to register the stinging pain on his face. His eyes looked at both Jisung and Woojin, who gazes were unreadable as they looked the other way. His eyes then found Chans and noticed his hands were shaking as he clasped them on Minho’s shoulder, bowing his head just below his shoulders.

It felt like years had passed to Minho when his leader finally lifted his head back up and stared hard at him.

“I already deal with enough idiots who run around without thinking…don’t make me worry about you as well”

Minho gulped hard, his eyes widened slightly at the pure intensity Chan was giving him. He nodded slightly and mumbled a quick apology before breaking apart, noticing Woojin stepping closer to the rock pile in which San was now crumbled under. Minho felt his heart weigh down with even more guilt. It was small enough impact, and the rocks weren’t too big, but Minho didn’t know anymore.

He watched as Woojin grabbed San’s hand which was sticking out from a gap and felt for a pulse on his wrist. Minho waited in tense silence as the doctor did his checking.

“Is he?...” he was unable to finish. Part of him hoped the younger boy was still alive. Thief or not, he didn’t deserve to die

But to Minho’s relief the black haired doctor shook his head and stood back up. “Don’t worry. He isn’t dead. Just unconscious. It takes a lot more than some rocks to hurt San…trust me”

Minho stopped dead in his tracks. Did he hear that right? How did Woojin know San’s name? He doesn’t remember saying it.

But before he could open his mouth and asked, the sound of voices and fast approaching footsteps hit Minho’s ears and he saw Woojin turn back to the group.  “But that is the least of our concerns. We need to get out of here and fast.”

“But what abou-“

Woojin shook his head “No time. The Under doesn’t take too kindly to those who attack their own. We need to hide and find another way to the city”

Minho felt a hand grab his and turned to see Jisung lock eyes with him. “Are you okay to run on your own?” he asked, quickly squeezing Minho’s hand in response. Minho just looked at the younger boys eyes and found himself lost for words…..again.

What was with this stupid idiot squirrel boy and his even stupider pretty eyes and why was he making Minho’s brain stop half the time?

After another squeeze Minho mentally shook himself free and shook his head in response. “I can do it.”

But before any of them could take a step towards the door, there was a loud explosion behind them. Minho turned his head to see the other opening that he had blocked to keep San trapped had been blown free. Bodies began to pile out, each holding guns, running towards them. “There!” one voice yelled “They are over there!”

“Quickly then!” Woojin snapped.

They began to sprint towards the back entrance, Minho wincing as he felt the injuries from his fight scream at him. They were almost there…just a little closer.

Just then, from the shadows, a lone figure stood tall and still. They drew their weapon, a single longbow and knocked it with a singular arrow.

 “Not so fast intruders!” the figure called out.

The arrow flew over their heads and with a drop of his stomach he realized where it was aiming. His eyes then fell down to Woojin’s back, knowing that the elder was in trouble being at the front of the pack. He froze in his tracks, eyes wide with fear.

They are going to explode the ceiling right above the entrance like I did with San….

 “Woojin!” Minho screamed

The arrow hit its mark and the way they came was suddenly in an explosion of dust and rocks. This impact was 10 times the size of Hyunjin’s bombs. The whole room was shaking and he couldn’t hear anything over the sound of roaring. Gravel and large chunks of rock started to fall all around them and he unintentionally grabbed Jisung’s hand in fear.  Both Woojin and Chan seemed just as shocked and confused by the sudden attack and to his dismay, didn’t see the large chunk of rock heading straight down for Woojin.

Minho’s body went into overdrive and pushed himself forward letting go of Jisung’s hand.

If he gets hit by that…

Chan seemed to notice this as well.

“Wooj!”

Being the closest to the young doctor, Chan quickly pulled back on Woojin’s sleeve, yanking him backwards with all his strength. Woojin’s body was flung back towards them and out of immediate danger, but the action of pulling Woojin back as hard as he did caused Chan’s body to propel forward.

Minho could only watch in terror as a large piece of rock fell down, hitting Chan on the head. His body slumped to the ground instantly and his heart froze he watched more rocks falling overhead.

“Hyung!” Jisung screamed

Woojin recovered himself quickly and turned back around, horror written as clear as day on his face “Channie!”

Woojin sprung himself forward and grabbed a hold of Chan’s limp body, pulling him out from the cross fire.  But before Minho could breathe a sigh of relief, both of their bodies were lost in a cloud of dust and smoke.

For a few brief moments, no one moved. The room still shook, but it was getting quieter and quieter. Men dressed in green suits began to surround them but made no moves.

The perpetrator who shot the exploding arrow stood by their only exit now.

As the dust settled, Minho quickly scanned the area for two friends and felt his blood run cold when he couldn’t locate them. Jisung was beside him, frozen stiff with his own terror and Minho latched his hand onto his again, trying to both find strength and to give it.

After what felt like too long, his eyes finally landed on Woojin’s large frame sitting on the ground. Minho heart lurched as he then saw the elder boy cradling the body of their dear leader.

Both Jisung and Minho sprang forward, landing besides a rather freaked out Woojin whose eyes were wide with fear. The elder lifted his head when he felt Minho’s presence and locked eyes, tears threatening to spill down his face.

“M-Minho!” he cried “Chan! He…He….the boulder….it hit his head...” Woojin was full on sobbing now. He was inconsolable and Minho found himself quickly and quietly stroking his hand in comfort as Jisung checked Chan for a pulse.

Minho didn’t tear his gaze from Jisung’s as the younger’s gaze kept searching and searching. Finally after a few more tense moments he let out a loud, sigh of relief. “The pulse is weak, but it’s there. He is alive.”

Minho watched as Woojin looked down at the unconscious blond and cried into his shoulder with relief. “We are okay Channie.” He mumbled inchoately, rocking his body back and forth.

“We are okay”

Movement in the corner of his eye caught Minho’s attention and he knew they were far from okay at this moment. The sound of footsteps drawing near snapped his body in action and he slowly rose from where he was knelt on the ground, standing protectively over the three of them as Jisung took care of their hyungs.

It was the figure with the longbow. He appeared from the dust, his face covered by a dark hood, and said nothing, but stood very still as the two faced each other.  He had a silently deadly aura much like Hyunjae’s and Minho gulped, his body still screaming from his last fight. The figure took a step closer to them, causing Minho to snap back and focus at the moment on hand.

“Not a step closer” he growled, blocking the figure’s view of his members.

The rather tall figure stopped a few yards away from the group. He still said nothing, but turned his head slightly to look at the pile of rubble that San’s body laid under and quickly snapped his head back at Minho a few moments later, his dangerous aura spiking suddenly.

“What are you doing here?” the voice was dark and menacing.

Minho raised a hand in the air to show a sign of peace. If Chan was out of commission and Woojin wasn’t in good state then he would be the one to negotiate. He is the next oldest after all. “We come from up above.” He started “We mean no harm, and only wish to find someone who lives in The Under-”

The figure interrupted him with a scoffed and motioned towards San’s unconscious body as fellow soldiers began to dig his body out from the rubble “You claim to be in peace and yet you do this to one of our own?!”

“In my defense” Minho disputed back “He started it.”

“Enough!” the figure yelled with a wave of his bow. “You!” he pointed to a nearby solider. “Take San and him-“he motioned to Chan’s body, still unconscious in Woojin’s arms “to the Healing Quarters!”

“Sir?” the soldier asked tentatively “Are you sure we should be bringing them-“

The solider was cut off as the ordering figure quickly cut his chest wide open with the sharp end of his bow. The solider let out a scream of pain and slumped to the floor. His body was quickly picked up by another solider who stood there awaiting the rest of his orders “Have Yunho check them both out.” He continued “And you-“he motioned towards the rest of them “you all are coming with me! The boss will want to know that we have SKZ rats’ scurrying in our home.”

Minho gulped. This was not going according to plan at all.

Likes and Reblogs are appreciated! let me know how you are enjoying the story, if you have any constructive criticism or just wanna talk! ~ 

[dyketectivecomics]

I’m the anon whose setting the bomb off by asking why season six won’t happen

TL;DR- bc Teen Titans (2003) ended! It wasn’t canceled! It was brought to a conclusion, that fans weren’t super happy with obviously, but it was an ending nonetheless.

I’d really like to encourage everyone in the fandom to read the interviews gathered by TitansTower (2nd half of the page) during the time TT03 actually aired. David Slack, Glen Murakami, & the crew have said over and over again, the original order for the series was for 4 seasons. WB hadn’t expected the popularity of the show to last past that, but it exceeded expectations and by the time season 4 was wrapping up development, they were asked to pen a movie and move forward with development for s5.

They had LOTS of ideas for season 5 too! More side characters they wanted to explore! More depth to get into the Brotherhood’s plot! But unfortunately, when they pitched the idea of a Longer season/more episodes, they were asked to keep it at 13 eps, the usual order. There were Talks about a possible 6th season & the crew started prepping for it and pitching it because, hey! they were passionate abt the show they were working on too! But WB ultimately decided to move onto other projects and guess what? So did the crew! Because that’s just what happens! Things end and you have to accept it and move on. Huh it’s almost like Things Chan-

(The rest under the cut here, is very much getting more into a Rant that veers way off topic (the Bomb is above mostly, the shrapnel is below lmao) & it hasn’t been proofread for errors bc I am, as the kids say, Big Mad. so Beware. You’ve been Warned) (also tagged: long post, in case the cut doesnt work for whatever reason, sorry mobile users RIP)

[[MORE]]

Even IF, for whatever reason, against all logic & reasoning they decided to Greenlight a sixth season, 12 years after this series ENDED. I GUARANTEE fans would find SOMETHING to bitch about every single step of the way. Just look at Young Justice. Much shorter timeframe between s2 and s3 getting picked up and yknow what fans are still doing? Being the Same Old Fans that Fans who Fan will Be.

Misinformation gets spread around every so often too, and I just wanna be really fucking clear: No amount of Toy Sales success/failure had anything to do with the show. No amount of the Demographics they Targeted vs Ones they Hit, had anything to do with the cartoons perceived ‘failure’. Especially considering that, again, they got a movie+5th season that hadn’t originally been planned for. So from that, no amount of fan petitions or campaigns were going to ‘bring it back’ because WB & the crew, again, had moved on to other projects. Because the show, as a production, had reached a natural conclusion.

Now sure, let’s fast forward to 2011/2012? The DC Nation block gets dropped into a SatAM slot. Nostalgia hits Big as, alongside new eps of Green Lantern:TAS & Young Justice, they showcase a plethora of shorts! One of which, is the New Teen Titans, done in that ~*adorable*~ Super-D form but with more or less the same style as the first cartoon.

Fans lose their minds and there’s a resurgence of petitions and letter writing campaigns (ones that I will readily admit to participating in because I was 15 and we all do DUMB things when we’re 15) And through all of this. WB/DC answers our Monkey Paw wish.

But here’s the thing abt the monkeys paw: you’ll get what you wish for, but it’s gonna come with a Big Ass Catch

And that catch, while they gave us the same lineup and same voicecast, they also gave us a comedy-focused & fully super-d/simplified style. And “fans” were Outraged with that.

But here we are again, 7 years later. And there’s a whole generation of fans who have forgotten the mistakes of the past, thinking and hoping against any kind of logic & blinded by nostalgia, that maybe JUST MAYBE. WB will revive a cartoon that ended in Two Thousand and Fucking Seven.

I tutor kids now who weren’t even born by then! The only Titans they know are TTG! And when they tell me they LOVE them, I say “that’s AWESOME dude! Did you know that they’ve got comic books abt them too?”

I tell them about the new generation of TTG! comics, the ones based on the cartoon they grew up with, not the ones I did. I let them know that there’s even more kid & teen heroes beyond the titans. And if they have a certain fav I let them tell me everything they love abt them and I tell them a cool Fact that might encourage them to find out more later!

Some days I HATE TTG, but I will NEVER tell a child that I hate something they love. I saw too much of that when I was growing up and I’ll be damned before I turn around and do the same damn thing to these kids.

Cartoons are a WONDERFUL medium to introduce a new generation of fans to these characters. And we should be encouraging WB to take more chances on bringing more of them to life. Not asking for the same few characters or groups to be redone over and over again.

Give me a Birds of Prey limited series! Give me a Secret Six Adult Oriented action-comedy! Explore that Amethyst short, with all its 80s game tech+magical girl anime aesthetic! Explore more Obscure characters with a quick 5-10 min story! Put a fresh new spin on a golden/silver age storyline (bc lbrhh some of them got WILD)

Just for the love of fuck stop pretending that One cartoon was the absolute Peak of Achievement and is the only thing that deserves to be revived or redone to death. Teen Titans WILL get another cartoon eventually. It’s like Scooby Doo and Batman. Its like Sherlock Holmes or Star Trek. It’s just a little early in its journey but it WILL have another reboot, another reimagining, another chance to shine for an entirely new generation. Everyone will have their preferences.

Just sit down, have a juice box and popcorn and enjoy ur fan servicey nonsense movie that you asked for But Didn’t Ask For, until we get that brand new series again.

TTG is gonna have to end eventually. And when it does, WB will be rubbing their hands together just biding its time until they can reboot the Titans again.

[thebeauregardbros]

RP: Alus Beauregard

yo im just writin down some messy unorganized info i wanna put shortened on my wikia page l8tr but if you care here’s like. all the info youll ever want 4 alus & RPing with him if ya ever wanna (im on balmung)

RP Style

-The closest term I could relate to is ‘Rapid Fire’, but in truth I just type as if I am talking in real-time. -I am capable of typing at around 95 words per minute. I mostly use preset emotes descriptions, rarely my own descriptions. I don’t wait for turns, so if this speed intimidates you, you should look elsewhere for RP. (*im rly sry but my anxiety makes slow rp a living hell) -I love comic relief! I also adore serious philosophical and moral discussions. These themes are what my character is all about! -Sorry, not interested in ERP!  -Addressing mature themes like drugs, violence, swearing, prostitutes, mass murder, etc. are fine but please understand my character is essentially a lawful good cinnamon roll cop. he’s got the patience and understanding of a saint but don’t be surprised if he reacts poorly to that shit happening right in front of him. -Sorry! I am not interested in killing off my character or roleplaying with people who will kill off their characters. it’s an actual trigger for me....... sorry.... -Never did RP fighting before but might get into it if you’re cool keeping it PG. Not interested in my character getting severe lifelong injuries like loss of limbs or eyes or what-have-you. Big ass scars though? Hell yeah

Who is Alus?

A dandy looking man; always wearing fancy pressed cheerfully colored pastel suits, glittering with gold jewelry sewn delicately into the every segment, pretty fresh flowers adorning his long golden hair and his lapel - a true image of a faerie tale prince. He always seems to be smiling, the warmth and kindness he offers to even his villains is often unparalleled. He speaks carefully and delicately in a form of loose poetics inspired by his mentor Urianger, rarely ever making a contraction and never swearing except in extreme anger. Much less a Miqo’te and more a proper Elezen in stereotype.

He is a pacifist in a time of war, one who journeys out into the battlefield knowing his duty must be done, knowing that he is ultimately a hypocrite. He truly believes that everyone is fundamentally a good person and he wishes he could save even his greatest foes from their own destruction upon themselves and others, despite the constant arguing of his fellow allies over his over-trusting personality.

It could be argued that he is even mad; his fast-moving voice chatterboxes that of innocent and carefree topics like pretty flowers and princesses onto the ideas of sentient coins that scream whilst dancing wildly to the absence of music. He is ultimately kind, but unpredictable, and yet far too predictable. Everything he is is based off a stereotype, yet skewed and twisted into a reality incompatible with those ideas, gone nonsensical. Those who know him - his brother, the militia, the merchants and beggars he speaks to daily in the markets - they will all tell you that he is not all there, and yet completely a good person without doubt. A Paladin that rarely arrests, but chooses to sit down and talk just to hear a villain laugh.

RP Hooks

-RPing an open-minded villain or neutral alignment character? Alus will literally do anything for you if he thinks he can sway you to come to the good side. (I’m cool with your character even purposely leading him on to take advantage of him, but please tell me beforehand that that will be your intention and if it’s possible your character would ever change their mind. Alus having actual enemies would be really fun to RP as well.) -Like flowers? He’ll hand you one out of nowhere. Cute little gourmet cakes? Here’s a sample! Tea? Alus will offer any of those things to you as you’re simply wandering the street. He even has his own cutesy pink cafe he’ll aggressively advertise to you! -Part of the military? Alus is a minor commander in the Maelstorm and a known Warrior of Light. You may have worked besides him on one of your missions, or even temporarily underneath his command. He works besides all allies as a field healer, never commanding from behind. -Are you a follower of Nald’thal? Alus often walks to the Thanalan statues of Nald and Thal during the very early bells of nearly every morning. -Ever been a street beggar, or known any before? Alus has probably generously donated to you or your known one before.

Details, details..

Age: Roughly 23 Height: 5′8″ (173cm) Gender: Male Nationality: Eorzean Family: Arc Beauregard (twin brother; works with him in the militia, also a Warrior of Light), Gwenneg Beauregard (adoptive father; an Elezen merchant. Deceased) Occupation: Café proprietor, battlefield medic Character Inspirations: Vash (Trigun), X (Megaman X), Firion (Dissidia) Themesong: [Tears of Sorrow - Masashi Hamauzu] Aesthetics: fairy tale knights, princes & princesses / quiet windy flower meadows on a sunny day / zen buddhism / flower crowns / hard work equals beauty / bright colors / plucky comic relief / lace & frills / girls in long dresses / teatime Anti-aesthetics: bitter alcohol / romanticized harm to the self or others / grittiness / swamplands / cold steel / vulgar speech / cold rain / death / hopelessness / Likes: Elegance, Spunkiness, Honor Dislikes: Apathy, Crudeness, Betrayal of Trust Favorite foods: La Noscean Orange, La Noscean Toast Nameday: All Saint’s Wake Romance: Asexual Panromantic

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #10: Favorite Goblin/Orc

1.      Uruks

I wanna’ tell you a story, folks. It might sound a little familiar, but stick with me. Once upon a time, there was a farm-boy. A simple lad, who had high hopes for a life of adventure beyond the town. He wasn’t the brightest, but what he lacked in brains he made up for in bravery. One day, as you do, farm-boy was working out in the field with his family when a monster attacked. The local guard piled on to the monster, but they just couldn’t bring it down. It tore through soldier after soldier after soldier, just for the fun of it. Our farm-boy knew he would probably die, but he didn’t care. He had his chance and took it; he picked up a stick, ran at the monster, and brought it down. Our farm-boy became a hero.

That farm-boy’s name was Kravitz the Marked One. He was an orc slave working in the fields the first time he killed me. The warchief promoted him on the spot and gave him a set of armor. The second time he killed me they gave him a caragor to ride. The third time he was given command over a company of hunters. I got him on the fourth time, though, and recruited him to the Bright Lord’s army. I was going to make him Overlord of Nurn, and raise him up to sit at my right hand, a real rags-to-riches story. He helped me take the Overlord’s fortress, riding with me at the siege. But poor little Kravitz took a mortal wound there, one I couldn’t save him from. And as he lay there, dying in my arms, he looked and me and he said, “Remember this moment, Tark. Remember it for as long as you live.” And I always did.

There’s a lot of other stories I could tell you. About Ugakuga the Maddest One, who saved my life, or Kellec the Tree Killer who communicated only in screams, or Flug the Ghul Lover who would track a matron across Mordor just to protect her. Uruks are rambunctious, and violent. They fight with each other even if you get them on the same team. They’ll betray you at the drop of a hat for the smallest slight. They pick fights with warriors and monsters that can kill them in one hit just to make a point.

But when they’re your own, you love them.

2.      Greenskins

The greenskins are the puncline to the grimdark joke that is Warhammer. While they’re in both the fantasy and 40k settings, they really stand out in 40k. Warhammer fantasy still has halflings, dwarves, and typical fantasy shenanigans to pick up the slack; 40k NEEDS some comic relief. The Orks aren’t concerned about empires or Chaos or the greater good. The Orks, pure and simple, are in it for the fun. They’re work is at its finest when its fast, loud, and in flames. Put together, they can generate a kind of psychic field that makes their beliefs a reality. This power is not used to reshape the fabric of the cosmos, but to enforce much more important principles like ‘things go faster when they have flames painted on. In the grim darkness, the orks are a pie to the face filled with C4.

3.      Order of the Stick

The goblins in Order of the Stick are kind of different from how they’re commonly depicted, but not too unrecognizable. They’re a monster race, living in the wilderness, trying to eke out a living, though they’re a bit taller and smarter than standard goblins, about on par with humans. But the thing that makes them stand out is Redcloak, and Redcloak is pretty great, both as an antagonist and a character in his own right. Redcloak has made decisions, bad decisions, decisions that he could have not made but he did because he felt he had to. And it’s interesting to watch him now, filled with regret, committed to this course, and wondering what will happen next.

4.      Nyambe

Nyambe-Tanda was an African campaign setting for 3rd. Edition D&D that not a lot of people remember. They should, because it was pretty great, both at representing an underexplored area of fantasy and also for its own setting features. Somehow, it blended West African mythology and post-modern tabletop fantasy masterfully. One of the best examples is its orcs.

You’ve got your standard narrative; at the beginning of time, there were the various races, and each of the gods favored one race over the others. Originally, the gods only divulged so much to the races because they wanted to keep things fair. But the orcs were having a hard time of it, living in badlands and scrounging for food. So their god, Ogun, the god of war, decided to give them a little boost. He made them stronger, faster, tougher than other races. But Ogun wasn’t just the god of battle; he was the god of blacksmithing. So the orcs of Nyambe learned how to mine and forge metal while the other races were still wearing leaves and furs. And by the time the other races figured out bronze, the orcs had iron.

From there, things went about as well as you would expect. The orcs swarmed out, conquering the continent one region at a time. The other races barely had metal, much less iron; any resistance was like bring a stick to a gun fight. Even after Ogun withdrew his patronage from the orcs, they turned to worshipping dark gods and demons, adding sorcery to their arsenal. The orcs set up a dark empire across Nyambe-Tanda, and it took nothing less than an alliance between all the races, the dragons, and God to stop them. The dumb orcs of Nyambe today are the cursed remnants of that empire, and their demon-haunted ruins still litter the continent.

Just think about all that. Look at how much the orcs did in this setting. And they did it for themselves; not for any god or Dark Lord, but because they wanted to. The Evil Empire that the plucky last-ditch rebellion had to stop didn’t use orcs; it was MADE by them. They fundamentally shaped the setting. In Nyambe, orcs are legendary and feared. Even the few remaining half-orcs are watched closely and with fear, looking out for any sign that the old powers might return. And that’s just such a massive departure from the norms of fantasy while still staying true to certain elements; I love it.

5.      Pathfinder

Pathfinder’s goblins are clearly descended from Warhammer’s; cheerful, incorrigible pyromaniacs who enjoy arson, butchery, and singing adorable little songs about how much they hate horses. Even their designs are cute; oversized head, constant grins, beady little eyes, big flappy ears, and a shark-like nose make them look more like gangrene bats than monsters. When Pathfinder was first released, it was decided by the Paizo team that they wanted their monsters to stand apart from the standard D&D variants of monsters, remaining true to certain aspects while inventing new ones. Goblins were the first example, and are still the most beloved. They became mascots of the system, and even a playable race. So much malevolent charm has been poured into Pathfinder’s goblins that you feel almost bad for killing them. You’ll have to though, because they really don’t feel bad about killing you and then burning your house down.

6.      Eberron

Eberron orcs are another attempt to experiment with the standard formula, seeing what can be retained and what can be changed. An orc on Eberron can still be a wild berserker, but they’re more likely to stick to one of the villages they live in as a farmer. Orcs in Eberron are the oldest species on the planet, predating humans and all the other races. It gives them this kind of grouchy veteran persona that pervades the whole race, and they tend to look down on the younger peoples. Eberron orcs are also a lot more spiritual, trying to live in tune with the land and spirits. It was the orcs’ druids that saved the world from extradimensional horrors long ago, and most of them stick to that tradition. They don’t want any praise or to be raised up as heroes, though. They mostly just want the young races to listen to them when they say important things like, “Don’t poke the fabric of reality” and “Don’t trust elves” and “No, ma’am, I would not care to do that with you.”

7.      Warcraft

It was inevitable that Warcraft orcs would be on here. There’s no escaping them; by now they’re probably more popular than Tolkien orcs. They actually have a fairly complex history and lore; addicted to demon juice, tricked by an evil shaman, warring with the goat-people. Thrall is still the coolest shaman in anything ever, even if it is kind of hard not to just call him ‘orc Moses’. Even their explanation for the green skin is cool; an eternal curse for drinking demon blood in wars past. Honestly, though, I loved the orcs best in Warlords of Draenor. The Iron Horde is what elevated the orcs from ‘kind of cool’ to full-on ‘Metal’. It was a shame to see them go, but that’s just how it is.

8.      Rankin Bass

My first orcs. I watched the Rankin Bass Hobbit films when I was a kid, so these were the first time I met goblins who didn’t come out of a fairy tale. They were scary more than cool, but they also had a kind of dorky charm to them. The original Hobbit goblins with their gaping mouths and giant fangs are still a classic. They seem like perfect fairy tale monsters to me, and fit right in to the Hobbit’s original tone. Also got to love those classic goblin hits like ‘Funny Little Things’. The orcs in Return of the King had way more variety in shape, and there was even some blurring between them and the trolls, but no particular design stuck with me. You know what did stick with me? The best damn song in the entire world, that’s what.

9.      The Wolverines

Stan Nicholls’ Orcs series is more in the vein of the Black Company or the Golden Age of Berserk than it is any other kind of orc story. It follows the exploits of a mercenary band of orcs while they traipse around first one fantasy world, then more. By the second trilogy, they’re freedom fighters for orc supremacy on whatever world they can find them. All the while, they never stop being just unapologetically bastards. You get a feel for the commanders and the soldiers, while taking in that whole mercenary life pastiche. Not anything groundbreaking yet, but still a good band.

10.   Goblin Slayer

Credit where credit is due, Goblin Slayer tries its damnedest to take goblins and make them horrific, intimidating monsters. Does it succeed? Ehhhhh... I don’t want to keep saying ‘Berserk did it better’, but it really is hard not to compare the goblins to the trolls from Berserk. Still, there’s stuff to applaud here. These are some nasty goblins, even in terms of design, with jagged shark teeth and dead frog eyes. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see the kind of hierarchy usually reserved for higher-powered monsters like dragons and demons given to the ‘cannon-fodder’.

[crowsister-archive]

What's your favourite fandom? What do you want to make but not have time for? Do you have a go-to comfort trope?

I don’t so much have a favorite fandom as I have favorite playgrounds.

…fuck that was an incredibly Selina Kyle thing to say. (I was a Catwoman fan first, Batman came later)

This got really rambly, so put things under the cut so I don’t take up too much of people’s dashboards.

Right now, I’ve been nestled into a large cacophony of DC and Marvel comics, partially because I’m playing Meddling Metas (the tabletop that Ada’s from and that @superkamigodespurrdragonofmars is running) and partially because there are so many interpretations of characters and that’s fucking fascinating for me.

Like right now, I’ve been doing this experiment in playing Avengers Academy. Because it’s the most high key 2013 thing I’ve seen, all it’s missing is Homestuck and OFF references. The characterizations of various Marvel characters is so odd and I mean odd in the most fond way possible. I can send Nebula, galactic assassin and daughter of Thanos, to go graffiti her name on Nick Fury’s office. The main three students, the Harry Potter-esque “Founding Three” is Tony Stark, Janet van Dyne, and Loki. It has an energy that’s very similar to whenever I go and read Golden-Silver Age DC comics. Watching the Fire Emblem-like social interactions is the highlight of the game because everyone has the same animations and the dialogue is just so. So. 2013. I can’t really pin it down other than that timestamp.

On the DC end of things, I’ve been having a blast catching up on @chrisdee‘s Cat Tale’s series. I wasn’t expecting to like Doris as much as I do, but she’s an intensely fun character that stands up against Dee’s fun characterization of Catwoman. Is there a Doris fanclub? I want in. The Russia thing was, to paraphrase Dee’s Kyle, “my kink”.

Other than that, current fandoms I’ve been having fun interacting with have been ROTTMNT (though on a much more laid back basis than a couple months ago due to accidentally pushing myself too hard with socializing on that front) and GW2. With Fortuna coming out today, I might delve back into Warframe fic-writing. Maybe.

Second question, big thing I wanna do but don’t have time for. The projects I have don’t necessarily have time concerns so much as it’s energy. 

Low-Key is going to be an on-going project for the next several years, because I’ve got the next “book” in the Rogue Hero trilogy (Hackity-Hack, Cold Front, and [CENSORED]) planned, along with Interlude: Key Distribution, the next duo part of Low-Key (which I’ll name drop as An Opportunaty to Learn. It’s all set in Atlantis and it heavily features La’gann because man, does that boy need fic in his tag that actually has him as a main character), then an interlude for Theo’s origin story, then Network Takeover, and then the planned pay off to the Pen Pals subplot (the Arbitrator stuff name-dropped from time to time). Then there’s a whole other “book” and an interlude that’s gotta do with one of Theo’s bio-family coming up and that whole thing shaking the setting I’ve got going over there (long story short in a confusing manner, Theo’s gonna get some good volunteer work done and Leonard’s gonna be in hysterics).

I’m gonna finish Mean, but cute, but progress on that is slow because right now it’s mostly my vent fic for “Things Mare wants to do in Meddling Metas, but cannot because Stage Fright”. It’s also a neat playground for some magic mechanics that I’ve been working on for a bit that might feature in Low-Key because DC is a lazy bitch and doesn’t actually HAVE an established magic system that SON OF A BITCH COMPANY. It’s also a place where I get to write a Catwoman-esque character and honestly, that is so utterly my Thing that it’s not even funny. Astraia is a walking, talking example of all of the things that go into my character design process and it’s not even funny. Okay it’s a little funny considering she was an accidental creation.

Other than that, I don’t have any huge dream projects that’d require more time. If I had more money, I’d go and commission so many artists. So many. I’ve got a spreadsheet of artists and their commission posts and what I’d want to commission them for. Fuckit, lemme shill a few of them.

For Low-Key, I’d commission filibusterfrog because their lines and colors match a lot of what’s going on in my head as I go into Theo-mode for narration. It’s actually frog’s indirect fault that Theo’s theme color went from green to blue: a lot of frog’s art that feature’s blue kinda vibrates with a Theo energy? I don’t know how to describe it other than that. Like I’m a noted Blue Bitch when it comes to colors, but Theo was very strongly gonna be green until I saw some of frog’s magic scar pictures. I think it was specifically the Cold variant of Chaos Bolt?

For Meddling Metas, my go-to artist is hyperbali. Kyla has really great lines, colors, and a very wonderful sense of pulling together outfits. Their picture they did of Ada? Is amazing and I love it to BITS.

For Mean, but cute, I’d go with either frog again or Floh. Floh’s got a really nice lineless style that I super love and could see being very good for Astraia. Her tarot cards are also super legit and something I’ve been tempted to grab for a specific Meddling Metas character.

Now, go-to comfort trope. In general, I am a huge Romance fan, like I will go into Character x Reader tags because there’s such a plethora of content that’s constantly put out that fits that. More specifically, I will always, always enjoy Found Family (sighs deeply, motioning at Low-Key) and Mutual Pining (SIGHS LOUDER, MOTIONS AT UNRELEASED LOW-KEY CONTENT). In general, the easy way to tell is if I write it as a celebrated thing (like the grumpy pants dad nature of Leonard in Low-Key or the sci-fi nature of Theo’s magic as examples), I most likely deeply enjoy it. Something else I deeply enjoy reading too is reading about a character working through childhood trauma inflicted on them by their parents. When done well, it’s a really comforting experience because I can point at them and go “I can do it too”.

[lastsonlost]

Thanks goes out to @yourownpetard​for bringing this to my attention with his post HERE.

Fifteen years ago, Hollywood’s glittering superstars—among them Meryl Streep— were on their feet cheering for Roman Polanski, the convicted child rapist and fugitive from justice, when he won the 2003 Academy Award for Best Director. But famous sex criminals of the motion picture and television arts have lately fallen out of fashion, as the industry attempts not just to police itself but—where would we be without them?—to instruct all of us on how to lead our lives.

The Golden Globes ceremony had the angry, unofficial theme of  “Time’s Up,” which quickly and predictably became unmoored from its original meaning, as excited winners tried to align their entertaining movies and TV shows with the message. By the time Laura Dern—a quiver in her voice—connected the nighttime soap opera Big Little Lies to America’s need to institute “restorative justice,” it seemed we’d set a course for the moon but ended up on Jupiter: close, but still 300 million miles away. And then Oprah Winfrey climbed the stairs to the stage, and I knew she wouldn’t just bat clean-up; she’d bring home the pennant.

Winfrey began speaking to crowds at the age of 3. “Little Miss Winfrey is here to do the recitation,” the preacher would say, and the whole congregation would lean in to listen to the remarkable child. As far as sexual abuse is involved, no one speaks with greater personal authority; the first time she was raped, she was 9.  “I knew it was bad,” she said later, “because it hurt so badly.” From the second she started speaking at the Golden Globes, filling the ballroom at the Beverly Hilton with her rich, confident, and sui generis voice, she gave the night what it had so desperately wanted: emotional coherence.  

She smoothly accomplished what other speakers had struggled to do: She connected the grotesque but statistically insignificant problem of sexual harassment in Hollywood to the larger fate of women and girls. “It’s not just a story affecting the entertainment industry,” she said; “it’s one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics, or workplace.” She said that a new day was on the horizon—this was near the end of the speech, by which point she could have marched the crowd right over to The Weinstein Company and torched the place—and that the catalyst for this important change was the number of women willing to “speak their truth.” In that moment, all us watching from home witnessed the revolution become a movement.

Less than a week later, the movement became a racket. A previously obscure website called Babe, which is operated by a group of very young women in Brooklyn, got a hot tip. Through the grapevine, the staff had heard that another young Brooklyn woman had been talking about being sexually violated by the comic Aziz Ansari. They reached out to a woman they called “Grace,” persuaded her to “speak her truth,” albeit anonymously, and rushed the piece into publication: Ansari was given less than six hours to respond to these reputation-destroying allegations. There was no need for the furious pace—this wasn’t a breaking story about a political election or a natural disaster—which seemed to have been motivated by the urgency of the “Time’s Up” motto. Almost immediately the piece became the object of intense cultural interest, with many commentators (including myself) deciding that Ansari had been unfairly treated by the website. Just as many others, particularly young women, said that the account resonated deeply with them, and concluded that Ansari had violated Grace.

Predictably, the piece drove huge traffic to Babe, and visitors who explored the site were exposed to its credo: Babe is created by and for “girls who don’t give a fuck.” Collectively, the articles address what the site suggests are universal conditions of the young female heart, or at least conditions universal to its fans. Unfortunately, many of these shared concerns boil down to an almost exact list of traits which blatantly misogynist websites like Return of Kings have enumerated for years. 

The Babe girl is 

MANIPULATIVE (“Period-Trapping Is the Only Way to Find Out if You’re in a Relationship or Not”)

INSECURE (“You Should Be Secretly Looking Through Your Partner’s Phone”)

ADDICTED TO DRAMA (“We Pranked Our Exes and Asked Them to Be Our New Year’s Kiss and It Was a Complete Disaster”)

JEALOUS (“You’re Not Paranoid: This Is How to Tell If Someone Else Is Closing In on Your Man”)

OBSESSED WITH TEARING DOWN THE SAME FEMALE SHE’S IDOLIZES & ENVIES (“Amber Rose’s Plastic Surgery Is Absolutely a Feminist Statement” and  “Sorry, but Kendall Jenner Can’t Model for Shit”). 

The Ansari piece was written by a recent college graduate named Katie Way, who shot into the popular awareness like a rocket blasting away from Cape Canaveral on Sunday night, only to plummet—flaming and disintegrating—by Wednesday. On Monday, she was excited to appear on CBS This Morning to discuss her piece, tweeting, “Catch me on @CBSThisMorning brrright and early tomorrow morning, can’t wait for America to hear my weird low voice.” But her anger toward those who would question her motives and moral rightness was soon piqued by the HLN news analysis show Crime & Justice. The host, Ashleigh Banfield, read an open letter to “Grace” in which she said, “You have chiseled away at a movement that I, along with all of my sisters in the workplace, have been dreaming of for decades.”

The producers reached out to Way, via a direct message on social media, inviting her to come on the show to discuss the essay. At this point, Way abandoned the low voice for the high-pitched screech of the angry teenager. She wrote back that she wouldn’t go on the program, principally because Banfield was too old and unattractive, called her a “burgundy lipstick, bad highlights, second-wave feminist has-been,” and said that “no woman my age would ever watch your network. I will remember this for the rest of my career—I’m 22 and so far, not too shabby!”

I happened to be sitting in a Los Angeles green room waiting to appear on Crime & Justice the night when Banfield read part of this fantastical letter on the air, at which point the entire Katie Way arc of the story seemed to have turned into an unfilmed episode of Girls: the time Hannah wrote a hit-piece on a famous celebrity but only did half the amount of work required, and when confronted about it by a respected journalist she fired off a nasty letter that might have seemed like a great idea in the moment but ended up getting read on national television. Suffice it to say, it seemed that Katie Way—beloved only child, recent graduate of Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism, nongiver of fucks—had bitten off more than she could chew.  

Like many news and information websites created by young women, Babepublishes many stories on sexual assault. But unlike most other such outfits, it also runs stories about the pleasure of rape fantasies. Feminists have fought for years to keep the notion of rape fantasy as far as it could possibly get from actual reports of sexual assault. But those were feminists who gave a fuck. Babegleefully, witlessly runs angry pieces about sexual assault as part of the same cotton-candy pink, swirling galaxy as the ones that describe the pleasures of fantasizing about rape. The site has devoted many pixels to explaining to readers how enjoyable and common these fantasies are.

Babe explains to readers that rape fantasies serve lots of worthy sexual desires: “You want to know you’re wanted”

 (“A Clinical Psychologist Revealed Why Women Have Rape Fantasies and It’s Totally Fascinating”)

 “What I like about rape fantasies is the loss of control” (“These Women Revealed Why They’re Into Rape Fantasies”)

 “It’s all about ‘sexual desirability’” (“There’s a Major Rape Fantasy Sub-Culture Out There That’s Pretty Intense”)

 “I hear how rape fantasies can be exciting and fun, even for those who have been raped. It’s not an unhealthy expression of sexuality” (“A Sexologist Explains Why Women Have Rape Fantasies”)

 “I beg him to stop while he carries on fucking me harder and harder. I dig my nails into his back with tears in my eyes and whisper that I want to go home” (“Sex IRL: The Grad Student With Graphic Rape Fantasies”).  

Many of the pieces on actual sexual assault are filled with the precise, clinical detail that is the hallmark of reporting on the subject, such as the texts between two high school students after a drunken hook-up which the girl said constituted an assault, but which the boy thinks was not: “Wanna clarify that we didn’t fuck last night … I ate you out and fingered you, but that’s it.”

Obviously these two types of story are in conversation with one another. For girls who enjoy rape fantasies, the vividly reported sexual assault reports provide a world of concrete details to feed into them.

Katie Way’s college interests were journalism and creative writing. At Northwestern she wrote skillfully composed short stories in a vein of fiction she admired: magical realism. One of the reasons her Babe story has such an impact on readers—other than its naming of a very famous man—was its literary skill: It’s filled with precise details, and provides an immersive, world-building reading experience. On a “beautiful, warm September night” Ansari and Grace walked together to a romantic dinner spot, “Grand Banks, an Oyster bar onboard a historic wooden schooner on the Hudson River.” Over lobster rolls and a bottle of wine, they chatted about things that mattered to Grace: NYU, photography, and “a new, secret project” that Ansari was working on. They headed back to his apartment located in “an exclusive address on TriBeCa’s Franklin Street, where Taylor Swift has a place too.”

It was a night when a rich, successful, older man was taking a huge amount of interest in a young woman and treating her well: taking her to a fancy dinner, paying the check, listening to her stories. It’s a dream date. And then—as soon as they walk through the door of his apartment—the story turns dark and terrible. The language that Way uses to describe it is not the straight-ahead dispassionate language of crime reporting; it’s the language of pornography:  “‘Where do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me to fuck you right here?’ He rammed his penis against her ass while he said it, pantomiming intercourse.”

The piece, with its dreamy opening, its pornographic passages, and its tone of aggrieved score-keeping over petty slights—HE DID OFFER HER THE KIND OF WINE SHE LIKES—has stirred something in young women.  

But the piece is the almost inevitable consequence of a lifestyle promoted on the website, which enjoins young women to fulfill men’s sexual desires and to— literally—behave whorishly. Or, as a wrap-up of Babe’s 2017 service journalismput it: “You now know how to give life-changing blow-jobs, what it’s like to have rape fantasies, what percent hoe you are based on a scientifically accurate quiz, and how to keep your lipstick on even if your mouth is … otherwise occupied.”

Pulsing underneath all of this is the exact emotion which Katie Way lost control of Wednesday night: rage, so overpowering and so poorly understood that it can easily erupt and excoriate the wrong person.

In such swirls of high emotion and with diffuse goals, social entrepreneurship becomes lucrative. This Ansari episode, for example, has been a huge boon to the girls who don’t give a fuck, as they gleefully tell every reporter who asks them about it. As the writer Kerry Flynn wrote in an essay about the website published in Mashable, “For Babe, Grace's story was a big break—good for traffic and for the brand.”

[riveires]

wildfire

@twentysixdegrees

JOONHO

Midday in July, sunlight full and sweet, melting golden. It’s uncharacteristically poetic, more so yet when such a line is being waxed by none other but Son Joonho. Must be all that love in the air, with the newly weds having tied the knot—that, or it’s the dazed heat that’s making his thoughts slip clumsy.  He’s reliable in that department: too little to say, too much to think. He looks down at his flute, now drained of champagne and comes to the final conclusion that this, this is must be the root cause but it doesn’t matter. He needs another glass.

Pulling away from the small crowd that had began to gather around the table, Joonho turns to wave a server over, but before he can so much as pivot on his heels, eye meets unsuspecting eye and he’s struck. Stunned. Bolt of lightning without the thunder.

Standing at a distance no more than a couple of feet away is a face he once knew. Knows still, too well. Memory lines up almost perfectly to the present; his face is more angular here, no doubt sharpened with age, but then Joonho gaze roves over to the slant of his nose, jaw, curve of his mouth, and his breath is caught in his throat. Sugar dissolves from his tongue. Something stings. Aches.

“...Joohyuk?”

JOOHYUK

Jamie has been really great. She's picked up on his hesitation whenever people ask if they're next, and she plays it off like a champ. They work together, she's beautiful, and they get along well so it just made sense to ask her to be his plus one. There's no love there, just a lot of respect and admiration. In fact, he respects and admires her so much, that he offers to go grab them each another drink. Joohyuk is thanking god for the open bar when his internal prayer gets interrupted by the call of his own name.

"Joonho," he responds instinctively, blinking three times more than necessary when he turns to look in the direction of his former...roommate? best friend? flame? "You weren't, I didn't--uh," Joohyuk is panicking; it feels like he's back in college. "I didn't know you were coming to Lara and Jiya's wedding." It feels like New Year's again--that one night that changed everything but didn't seem to change enough.

He looks as Joohyuk would have imagined. The years between then and now have polished him; he's clean lines but gentle eyes, yet his posture betrays him. They're both tense. Where do they even stand?

"Do you want to walk with me? To somewhere a little quieter?" Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why would he want anything to do with you anymore?

JOONHO

There’s something inherently wrong with this picture: two men with their feet forward, and the prospects of downing 70-proof concoctions by the bottle. The joke very nearly writes itself, but neither are laughing. Joohyuk stills as if he’s only a step away from making a mad dash for cover, and Joonho is too tongue-tied to be aware of anything else but the intense regret that washes through in overflow.

“I didn’t know you were here.” Here, in this little slice of New England that he’d made meticulous efforts to avoid any and almost all chances to return. A handful of hours from there, north of where back then marks a decade in its passage. Stagnancy and permanence, both ways that had been so undeniably his own that anything else was impossible. But the impossible had happened: the day after graduation, he’d hit the ground running, and for the next ten years, he’d never turned to look back.

Now, Joonho can’t even think to take his eyes off him, frozen in his shell-shocked state. Joohyuk’s lips spell out a stream of questions, ones that he carefully, dazedly answers.

“Yeah.” Again then, a little softer. He puts his hands in his pockets, steals a glance at the ground before his gaze returns. “Yeah, that’d be...good.” Joonho clears his throat. “Where...do you wanna go?”

JOOHYUK

The more appropriate way to go about this conversation would be if he'd been the one to say: 'I didn't know you were here.' Briefly, he's at a loss as to what he should say in response. Joonho had effectively taken his line and thrown it right back at him and-- "Lara and I kept in touch after graduation." The hidden implication sits uncomfortably in between them right after the sentence leaves his mouth.

Unlike Joonho, he'd stayed in the area, finding half-fulfillment in a well-paying, stable job with one of his former soccer teammates. Kyle had almost fully replaced Joonho in the 'best friend' department but there was always something a little lacking. They'd climbed up the corporate ladder with their prestigious university's mantle hanging above them with every promotion, networking like crazy--until Kyle moved halfway across the country and Joohyuk climbed up even further. Without him. Without Joonho.

That second loss wasn't nearly as devastating.

The reminder makes him stutter in his steps, and he feels a lot less in control. "There's the uh, the hedge maze or something right outside the...venue." He looks around for his date, for another classmate, anyone that can help ease the tension or take him out of the situation completely but it's like he can't place faces to names anymore. It's just Joonho. "We can just...walk around it or inside, it doesn't matter to me."

Ungracefully, he downs the rest of what's in his champagne glass, and waits for Joonho to walk his way. He's extremely conscious of their pace, how far they're walking apart, and in a fit of nervousness, he remarks, "Either way we're going to get lost. I'm still bad with directions even after living in New York for the past few years." Give a little, take a little.  "Where...have you been?"

JOONHO

With every answer, there's the unspoken question of his lack thereof. Couldn't, didn't keep in contact, his number always beneath his hovering hands but never pressed, leaving behind footprints everywhere and anywhere except where a certain someone might be. Between the two of them, Joohyuk may have been the athlete, but Joonho had the unfortunate skill ability to run at the first spur of reflexes—the heart wants what the heart wants, but he's already sprinted. Made a distance marked by miles. Years. Memories already fading into sepia tones.

So then what's stopping him from turning the other way?

"Oh. That's great." His steps match up to Joohyuk's strides. They fall faint, hushed against the padding of the trimmed grass as they walk. Instinctively, he moves on a couple inches ahead, in case they do get lost. That strikes him belatedly, with a pang. Old habits die hard.

“I’ve…” Joonho hesitates. “I’ve been around.” He can’t lie through his teeth, if that’s anything to find relief in. “Where I work they like to keep me constantly on my toes. Checking up on sites and such.” A dry laugh follows.

When they reach the maze, he moves on further ahead—through the entrance, to a bench situated somewhere in the clearing. He could easily suggest they go deeper into the coiled space, but then wonders if that would imply anything more than what is already lodged between them. He’s knotted with discomfort, or is it want? Or are those terms interchangeable? Want, the pang of not having anything at all. It brings the same spell of nausea all the same. He should’ve known to slip himself another glass before diving in head-first.

“I should’ve known you were there. New York. It’s...” He pauses, struggling to find the right words. “You’d fit right in without question.” And there’s that laugh again. Not knowing, unknowingly so. “Much better than I could, anyway.”

JOOHYUK

It strikes him suddenly, that he's always looking at Joonho's back. Back in college, Joonho had hard-carried him through a few semesters when he couldn't figure his shit out, and Joohyuk had...provided comic relief? An outlet for those nights where Joonho needed to get out and drink until he forgot his own name?

But look at him now - cushy job in one of those fields that makes people nod, impressed. Full of crisp suits and white men - Joohyuk's where he is today because he's a great bullshitter. Half the battle is the confidence, and the other fourth is connections. And that last bit? Well, that part is actually is hard work, and he'd learned that from --

"Joonho, you coulda made it in New York if you really wanted to." He grins, and he feels like a college freshman again. "You're the smartest and most hard-working person I know - you'd do my job ten times better than me in half the time."

But the  feeling at Joonho's compliment fills him with giddiness - a little amplified by the open bar (former blessing turned current yikes), and he puts his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. And then, he takes a seat onto the stone bench, perched just a bit on the edge, looking up at Joonho.

Something about this position takes him back to some day in late December, and his chest tightens. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"It's been a bit lonely without ya." And he never should have sat down. Joonho has the higher ground; Joohyuk has always been the one who felt too much, too quickly, too intensely. He's a bit of an all or nothing guy. "I did miss you, if we're being honest here."

Well, fuck.

JOONHO

There's a sting of disappointment that has him almost flinch despite himself. It's a compliment that means well—of course, it's Joonhyuk, for Christ's sake, he always does in twofold, three, heart stitched flame red on his sleeve—but the sinking feeling snakes in, anyway. Is that all there is to say? But he's the last person on this planet to have the right to such expectations, to yearn as so.

"Uh," Joonho tries on a polite smile. "Wouldn't be my kind of people there..." He doesn't dwell on the stagnancy of his own job—a passion project for sure, but Joonho's not blind to what that speaks volumes to  an outsider. A dismissive wave. The sentiment that follows this time is genuine. "I'll let you handle the big city for me."

Like he's let him done back then. The one constant he's known, forever steadfast in his presence, his warmth.

In the beat of silence that falls, Joonho wonders if it's too late to turn things around. To let the confessions he's left buried to fall free from his mouth. That there was never really anyone else after him.  That his absence has become a part of his very being, like a tangible limb, a faithful shadow. That there are days where the empty air of his room is filled whole with it, a kind of lonely that is intimate with the pain it brings.

But then Joohyuk speaks, and he's stunned speechless.

The shock on his face is vivid. Common sense lags too far behind to have the decency to at least be embarrassed, thoughts lapsing into white noise.

"You-" It's on the top of his tongue. You don't even know. He takes a shaky breath, his mind catches up at last. Composure. Not yet.

"I actually thought about calling you before," Joonho shifts, one foot to the other. "Maybe once. Couple of times. But-" Excuses by the dime, but he's not in the proper state of mind to pick the right one. Another breath, and it lets out in a defeated sigh. "I don't know." I don't know if you'd want me back.

JOOHYUK 

"Me." he teases back, interjecting himself in between the breath it takes for Joonho to continue with his sentence - because Joohyuk is the one that's afraid of being forgotten. "You should have called. I would have liked that." But then he remembers himself in college, and the way they'd left off, the way he'd acted towards the end. It's a two-way street, and he's played just as big a part in this mess they're in right now (if not more). "I could have called too. Should have."

But now they're adults, and their friends are getting married, settling down. Joohyuk's biological clock isn't bothering him and he isn't desperate to find someone to get all domestic with, but there are regrets that have been left gaping still. Tonight might be the best and only night to disinfect and band-aid the damn thing so he decides not to hold back. "You're still a bit of an old man, aren't you? The city and its people aren't so bad. You just need to find your niche."

Joonho looks antsy, and Joohyuk wonders if he should try and wrap this up. He's always been the one to push Joonho from his comfort zone but he doesn't want to actually make him uncomfortable. This situation is awkward enough as is. "You say your people aren't there, but..." The incessant need to be noticed and acknowledged, and the uglier parts of himself that manifest out of those traits - well, he's working on them. Therapy has been great for that. "I'm there." So, that was a bit selfish, a bit self-indulgent, but two steps forward and one step back still nets positive, right?

"And wasn't I your person at one point?" Joohyuk looks up at the man that had given him so many firsts. The one who he truly felt attached at the soul with. "You were mine." Bonds like that don't just fade, not when it's them. "The position's still open if you're interested."

No holding back.