#i want them to suffer a little (catharsis)

[emmeriex]

watching s4 through the lens of rory being depressed and struggling just adds so much to the story i wish we got canon confirmation of it

[sadhorsegirl]

ever since @loamvessel reblogged that post about catharsis the other day i've been thinking about it again and i really believe the fact that there is this tragedy at the core of their relationship is what makes siuraine hit so much harder.

i feel like a lot of conversations (absolutely well meaning!!!) about representation in certain spaces end up focusing on what u shouldn't have happen to gay characters rather than like. what their gayness can add to their own identity and how they see the world? like the bury ur gays thing makes ABSOLUTE sense in a wider historical context and i get ppl have different limits around what they want to see happen to characters they love but also. do gay people not die lol? i guess what i'm trying to say is that by saying bad things can't happen to gay characters no matter what u kind of accidentally end up in a situation where gay characters are shut off from the full range of the human experience. idk sometimes it feels like writers can end up handling gay characters w kids gloves.

regardless of how dark wot on prime is going to take things, it's superrrr clear that judkins and co understand that the entire relationship is based around sacrifice and commitment in the face of nearly impossible odds. they treat moiraine and siuan like figures of legitimate dramatic interest, not just something for me to identify w on a surface level. season 2 suffering challenge !

[notedchampagne]

What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?

its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:

what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov

we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.

"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy

"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav

you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way

semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot

til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw

this became very long. im not sorry

[lurkingshan]

Thank you for leaving these tags @pharawee! Without getting into any speculation about how Dead Friend Forever will actually end, I do want to address your question and talk about why most of us want to see severe consequences for these boys. The short answer: it's about genre expectations and the psychological catharsis of a good revenge narrative.

To get down to the really basic point: people who love revenge thrillers love them because they are a fantasy construct in which good people survive and bad people get what they deserve. In a world where bad things happen and we rarely have any control, a good revenge story can be exhilarating, giving you the feeling that justice prevailed, villains received appropriate comeuppance for their wrongs, and the protagonist seized control back and experienced much needed catharsis for their suffering. Real life is very much not like this, which is why it's such an appealing genre of fiction.

So how do we calibrate what "appropriate comeuppance" means? This is where genre expectations become really important, because the genre the revenge narrative plays out in sets the terms for where that bar sits. In The Glory, a recent world class revenge drama, we were in the psychological thriller genre, so revenge came in the form of Dong Eun playing mind games with her bullies until they destroyed their own lives. No murder necessary. Dead Friend Forever, however, is in the horror genre, and specifically began its story by planting itself in the slasher subgenre, giving us a masked killer and setting up expectations that these boys are being hunted. When you watch a slasher, you come in with the mindset that most of the characters are going to die and begin rooting for it and looking for reasons why they "deserve" it. And typically, in a slasher, it takes very little for a character to "deserve" a death--you often see people die for the tiniest infractions, like making a rude comment, telling a bad joke, or having sex. But DFF went much farther than that and gave us a multi episode flashback in which we got a detailed accounting of every wrong this group of boys committed against Non, increasing the audience's bloodlust and conviction that these boys needed to pay.

So why do so many of us want the bullies to die? Because the genre demands it, and the story set the audience up to expect it from the outset. I have seen some discussion of the way the show is blending different horror subgenres and not sticking strictly to typical slasher conventions, and that's true, and expected. Slashers are usually two hours max, and this show needed to fill 10+ hours of content, so it's doing a really interesting blend of slasher, mystery, psychological thriller, and other horror subgenres. But the bones of the story still hold, and despite the storytelling choice to give the villains some nuance and fleshed out motivations for their behavior, they are still villains who destroyed Non's life. If you're feeling overly sympathetic to any of these boys at present, I encourage you to go back and remind yourself how they behaved in the early episodes of this story, which took place after the events of the flashbacks. These are not genuinely remorseful kids who made minor mistakes and then got their acts together and became upstanding citizens; they just want to move on and avoid blame and accountability for what they did, while Non's entire family was irrevocably destroyed by their actions.

If this story ends without Por, Tee, Top, Fluke, Jin, and Phee suffering genre appropriate consequences for their choices that harmed and betrayed Non, it will be a letdown and many will feel unsatisfied. In real life, we may believe that forgiveness is the right path, and we know that Buddhism teaches unconditional forgiveness. But this is not real life. This is a fantasy genre that is specifically meant to provide an escape from the constraints of real life morality and obligations. No one wants to show up to a fantasy party only to receive a moral scolding. The most disappointing thing a revenge narrative can do is wimp out on delivering the actual revenge.

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

One of my few disappointments about Bad Batch season 3 when first watching it was how Tech's death and the aftermath is handled - namely, that his death doesn't seem to really have much impact on his family (besides creating some inconvenience when it comes to decryption). I couldn't help but think that if the season had included even just one moment of the squad (more specifically the brothers, not just Omega) actually honoring Tech, it would have not only helped drive home once and for all how important Tech was to them, but also provided some desperately needed closure and catharsis for this clone family that had already suffered so much (and, incidentally, provided some closure for the audience, too). This is especially important considering that the Batch's actions in season 3, especially at the beginning, are likely informed by Omega's capture as much as by Tech's death - and while Omega's rescue should be of utmost importance, it ends up seeming to sideline Tech's sacrifice in the narrative.

After rewatching, my view has shifted slightly, though I still firmly believe the show should have included at least one scene - even if it was at the end of the finale - of the brothers acknowledging Tech's influence and honoring him.

- Echo's story is the least impacted by Tech's death: he wanted to stay in the fight before Tech died, and he did so afterwards. He looks sadly at the empty pilot seat in "Plan 99," and he name drops Tech once in season 3. I can understand Echo having this reaction, though: unlike the other Bad Batch members, he has lost brothers before and therefore likely knows how to adjust more quickly. (You know what would have provided a nice contrast between how Echo and the rest of the squad handles the death? A moment to honor Tech: for example, a scene at any point in season 3 where Echo mentions a memory of him.)

- Hunter's decision to finally retire on Pabu comes before Omega is captured, and therefore must have been determined primarily by the loss of Tech. All through seasons 1 and 2, Hunter's desire to keep his squad and Omega safe eventually evolved to wanting to give Omega a childhood away from fighting and war, but even then he still hedged on settling down permanently on Pabu (see: the discussion between Hunter and Shep in "Turning Point"). It wasn't until after losing Tech that Hunter abruptly made the decision that it was time to stop being soldiers... And given that we never see Hunter actually interact with Tech's goggles in season 3 or mention him by name even once, I'm not convinced Hunter ever really got over the loss of his brother, even as he (very in character for him) focused on more pressing matters by (often recklessly) charging onward to ensure Omega's safety. (You know what would have tied off this plot thread nicely? A moment to honor Tech: for example, a brief scene at the end of the show where Hunter acknowledges that Tech's sacrifice made their life on Pabu possible.)

- Wrecker cries over Tech in the season 2 finale, alludes to him twice and mentions him by name once; and honestly, as little as this is, it is enough to convince me that Wrecker is and always will be grieved by Tech's death but has emotionally processed it and come to terms with it, much like Echo. His development seems to be driven more by being the last man standing between Hunter and a reckless demise, rather than being driven by the loss of Tech specifically, but... nuance. (You know what would have given us a point of comparison regarding how different people process loss in different ways? A moment to honor Tech: for example, maybe Wrecker joins Omega in honoring Tech at the impromptu memorial and insists on his other brothers joining them.)

- Crosshair's redemption in season 3 is largely driven by Omega. Looking back on season 3, I am increasingly convinced that Crosshair felt immense guilt and blamed himself for Tech's death, and therefore he avoided the subject. His "let me go on a suicide mission because I deserve it" speech in the finale only confirms my opinion on this. I guess Crosshair being partially driven by guilt over Tech's loss is one way of showing Tech's impact on his family, but I don't find it a satisfying note to end the show on. (You know what would have concluded this plot point perfectly? ... You already know what I'm going to say.)

[fancifulplaguerat]

I’m so not normal about this

The way that Artemy tries to make Daniil feel better despite not caring solely because Daniil is upset, the “you are also better-crafted than me” like Artemy is telling him not to think of himself as some worthless unloved doll because look at yourself, you’re so much more than that; just that last line the compassion the kindness in it I cannot stand this. I’m not even that into Burakhovsky in canon but this is the most romantic thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life (←light hyperbole) 

I’ve gotten too desensitized to the doll ending that I forget what a gut punch it is. That line “Strangely, there is still not a word to be heard from the Powers That Be. Perhaps they became bored of it all... or were called back home for supper” plain devastates me. Just the futility of it all, how pointless all the characters’ suffering was, in particular the healers’. Though I enjoy the theatre-framing in Patho 2, the ‘children’s game’ meta in Patho Classic gets under my skin far more, as there’s some ‘purpose’ in Artemy/Daniil/Clara suffering onstage, playing their roles for an audience. While Patho 2 implies futility with the ‘you aren’t important, you can be recast,’ that idea of ‘you are not important, and everything you did meant nothing’ hits me harder in the game framing because the healers aren’t even worth being replaced. Everything is just some kids’ make-believe that can be tossed aside when they get bored or are called away. 

But I fucking love “The Powers That Be” concept because it’s so perfectly ominous and vague. Could be anything, likely the government, but sike actually it’s two children who orchestrated your entire living nightmare. I love the subtle references to them throughout the game, too, such as a plague victim telling Daniil “I keep hearing children’s voices... the girls are crying, and the boy is laughing... We mustn’t scare them...” or Aspity asking, “Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat... Can you hear the kids running around?” And granted this might not truly be about The Powers That Be, but it certainly feels like it could be. Or the foreshadowing on Day 1 of the Bachelor Route when Daniil asks the kids, “How did it even cross your mind... to play epidemic!” And Clara directly references them when she goes underground with Artemy, warning him to talk as little as possible so “they who are beyond the wall won’t hear you.” 

She elaborates: 

“I can only feel them. They are obscure. They are the ones in charge of everything here. They’re big but narrow-souled, trying to hide their wretchedness from us. It was all their doing. They haven’t revealed themselves yet. [...] Their time hasn't come yet. They are waiting in the wings. They will probably break into the world when it ends. Tomorrow they will show themselves...” 

I highly enjoy Measly and Thrush’s presence being all over the game unbeknownst to the player and characters (excluding Clara). 

And it creates even more futility to me because there’s no catharsis of just anger against some cruel puppet-master, like I can’t be angry with these children who are just playing. Especially how they ask, “Heal the town, please! Just look, it’s so wonderful... It’s alive and it’s our favorite one... We won’t be able to make another one like this. If it can’t be helped, then it will disappear forever. You know how much we love it?” They’re just kids who want you to save something that they love; even if they can be devious they don’t really have malicious intentions. But even their fears about losing their town aren’t real and I’m just going to go outside and start eating handfuls of dirt 

[nalyra-dreaming]

re: the Loumand convo, I agree it's v unlikely they'll rekindle things after the choices made in s2. I hope they reconcile (platonically) & their future interactions aren't all hostile, but even that'll take time. I get why people assume there was genuine love there…but ymmv on exactly how much of it was codependence or even coercion. I'm not necessarily saying there's zero love, but whatever fondness or harmony they had was based largely on lies and manipulation (& some actual brainwashing). We don't have full context for the run-up to the trial yet, but show!Claudia's death was so brutal, and in this version Louis clearly didn't know of Armand's full culpability. In the book she was a wretched creature & her entire life sucked, her death felt like a relief - not that Armand's motives were noble, & it still destroyed Louis ofc, but there was a sense of inevitability to it. Show!Claudia otoh was a fully rounded person with a hopeful future. Her death had no catharsis & her suffering was turned into sick entertainment. Not only that but Armand was seemingly about to let Louis die too. Again, we don't know all the ins & outs but if Armand had anything valid to say in his own defense he had 77 yrs to come clean & didn't. The trust is broken, and while forgiveness is an important theme for Louis (& a major theme of the VC in general) he has no incentive to forgive Armand to the extent of getting back with him - he wasn't passionately in love to begin with! I want to see Armand grow as a character & recognize the mistakes he's made, but the show laid out v plainly why he & Louis aren't well suited. They were both just needy people "making do", putting on a performance of romance for reasons that had little to do with love. I think the show's done a great job with both characters though, and I'm interested to see what the future holds, but I doubt Louis or Lestat will want anything to do w/ Armand romantically after all that. I'd settle for them not being enemies tbh, though I'm not sure what the chances of that are, even?

I think they will end up being “not-enemies“ when all is said and done :) Or even more. But it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

But then it’s been a bumpy ride in the books as well, just a more implied than shown one.

That‘s going to be different in the show, obviously ^^

[lakesbian]

i would actually like to write canon-compliant brian suffering to fill in the brian gap wildbow left at the end like a dumbass but i don't think i can get in the head of someone with his specific brand of issues well. i love him though. personally i think he did actually have time to get off the oil rig he just looked up and saw the light and couldn't bring himself to care enough to run this time. personally i think hes friends with taylor and alec in the undersiders who killed themselves for emotional development reasons club. except w/ him there wasn't even a catharsis element to it he was just tired. 0 emotional development involved actually he was just so so tired. and then he ends up getting dug out of the grave later anyway (permanent skeleton rebirthmarks on brian my best friend permanent skeleton rebirthmarks on brian) and feels like a dead man walking and everyone can Literally see it on his face. and he finds out he didn't fuck aisha up as bad as he thought he did. and he finds out taylor pulled a final taylor moment and feels like they were always sort of similar people (i.e horribly insecure and sad and desperately control-freaking + carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders to feel even slightly okay about being alive) and sort of dedicates his second chance to healing in the way they both deserved to. and rachel continues taking taylor's advice and gives him a puppy 2 take care of. which is actually very helpful i think puppy cuddles could help him a little bit. anyway i'm way off topic but that's what ward is about to me. i think brian should get to have his aisha reunion and meet the heartbroken and be like Oh God. You Turned Into Me. which aisha VEHEMENTLY denies despite standing there with her cornrows and blatantly brian-style leather jacket. i think it would be good for him to be around children so awful he can't compulsively manage them even if he wants to and he just has to watch his little sister (who turned out okay and actually says things like 'i missed you' and 'love you' now) Be An Okayishly Adjusted Adult abt said children. do you understand my vision thisis what ward is about in the good world to me. worlds saddest ever guy brian having nice things. please

[pbjelly90]

I should absolutely be going to bed now for work tomorrow, but I finished vol 8 of Jeweler Richard tonight and just wanted to put down some thoughts and feelings I had on it, even if they’re not all particularly coherent or in any real order. May add more later on.

SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 8 OF JEWELER RICHARD AHEAD

A lot of folks found vol 7 a bit hard to read, and this one still had some heavy themes, with the treatment Seigi faces from the house flippers, the hurt and misunderstanding within Richard’s family, and the shadow of the butler’s group and Octavia and their plotting amidst it all. But I still found a lot of joy and catharsis in this one that made it a very moving read and maybe in some ways easier than 7.

The biggest theme of this book for me was mothers and their children. Richard and his mother Catherine, of course, but also his mother and grandmother, and Seigi and his mother. If vol 6 was cathartic in helping Seigi realize he does not have to become like his father, that he is not somehow tainted by his past suffering with his father, he is worthy of love and care, and that he can cut his bio father out of his life completely and move forward to heal, then this touched on a different type of painful family relationship. Someone you’re very similar to, close to, clash with, become distanced from, but you still have some feeling or care for each other. You can get under each other’s skin. No one sees Richard the way his mother does, and vice versa. Seeing their journey in this book gave me a lot of feelings and was very relatable. Sometimes its the family members you were closest to who can make you the angriest. Seigi was such a good supportive friend to Richard throughout this and their love was very evident. One of my favorite scenes was when Richard and Catherine’s tension finally came to a head with her argument about how he treats Seigi and Seigi finally gets to speak up and set her straight.

Richard seeing then just much Seigi loves him and would stay by his side, unlike past friends who’d sided with his mother, was so touching. Then Catherine testing Seigi at the end. I think she was just as touched, after the initial anger subsided. This book presented a really human, fallible, nuanced view of motherhood. Hearing her story about being called beautiful and then it all stopping really shed some light on what must have happened between her and Richard’s father, her mind went there as soon as she saw the Amazonite. She wants better for her son, despite any of their bickering. I was happy to see them get to a place of maybe a little more understanding at the end with Richard calling her Maman. Maybe through Seigi’s support, he was able to move past some of his old hurt from that time with his childhood friends at the villa. Catherine even seems in a better place, knowing her son has someone like Seigi by his side.

Seigi’s own attempts with Hiromi at the end really broke my heart, but it was very realistic, and I’m still proud of him. He’s grown so much. Instead of getting too down or upset, he accepts that’s not where they’re at yet and recognizes his own part in that. They would have a lot more healing to do to try to make any change, if they can, but he reached out and has given their relationship more thought after all of this. I hope he can go see her and his stepdad soon. I could feel his relief that his stepdad was home now and she was safer. I hope he can return to Tokyo and feel better there in time too, he deserves it. His homesickness and his happiness to see Haruyoshi in this volume really touched me too. I’ve always felt a bit split between two countries and could feel a bit of how he did to hear the language of his home. 💕

Random other thoughts, in jumbled order:

I want to hug Jeffrey and for him to have more friends, no more playing the “villain”, give him all the souvenirs. Him pretending he doesn’t read Seigi’s blog was gold lol

Jeff, I too want to give Seigi headpats

Hugs also for Haruyoshi and Henry, they’re so cute I love their friendship

Loved Haruyoshi and Seigi’s conversation about being “off the rails” and forging their own path, and how much they connected meeting up this time after college and supported one another. Their friendship is lovely and it felt like a warm hug seeing them have fun and laugh together

Seigi feeling okay enough to take photos and put a few on his blog, and even post a blog at all, was such a sign of his healing

Richard probably should have warned Seigi more clearly about how some folks in the countryside might treat him, but I understand he didn’t want to worry him that all people might be like that one couple either. I’m happy Pierre was good to Seigi. Also Richard is human and imperfect too and that’s okay, he realized the potential error in not warning him, stood up for Seigi and apologized. Catherine should have listened closer when Seigi told her he was going to paint, and Seigi I wish had resisted that whim to help, but I understand where Seigi was coming from, and Catherine’s got her shortcomings and that can’t all change at once

Seigi recalling the rules of Etranger not to discriminate after this 🥺 coming full circle with understanding them and with understanding the feeling of Etranger being abroad

Catherine wanting to help roll up Seigi’s pantlegs to wade in the river—how many times must she have done that for young Richard during his childhood in their summers at the villa 🥺 some motherly instincts are still in her, there was some real care between them. Richard remembering she's lactose intolerant. They mean something to each other

Vince I’m sure you have a good heart and your reasons and all but I still kinda wanna throw hands with you sometimes. Stop being so mysterious and cryptic. I figure he’s trying to look out for Octavia and maybe Seigi somehow, but his method of playing the “villain” aggravates me far more than Jeff’s does so far. He even makes Seigi go bark bark sometimes xD

The conversation in the hole with the treasure HOW DID SEIGI WALK AWAY DURING THAT? He compartmentalizes like no other. Richard was really showing his feelings more in this volume. For a while I was unsure if he had a fever or was blushing furiously from embarrassment, shame, or some other overwhelming combo of feelings. His praise of Seigi and questioning why he would stay by him… oof in the feels

“You don’t want to sleep with me?” RICHARD TOOK ME OUT xD Seigi.exe stopped working

Seigi saying he’s not “especially vulnerable” to Richard’s sad face, ah the unreliable narrator evidence continues to pile up

Him reaching out towards Richard before they go to sleep 🥺 they were adorable sharing the room

Richard blanket burrito, honey I hate mornings too, he wanted Seigi to see him “well coiffed” 😂😂😂

Richard keeps getting compared to Sherlock Holmes in this volume and plays a violin, thank you for the food, Sensei. He was already British, very intelligent and a boxer, I’ll add this to the list

Seigi’s and Richard’s happiness during the conversation where Richard calls Seigi his friend was so so adorable and precious, these cute fools can’t even walk properly after lol

Is French solitaire similar to mancala or am I way off? That’s what I was picturing

Richard and Seigi would be very cute on a tandem bicycle

Them both wanting to take panoramic photos after big moments to remember them, cuties, anytime Richard borrows a line of Seigi’s

Loved all the artist references in this one, pander to the art nerds please yesss, once again thank you for the food

All the actual food sounded so delicious. Seigi just casually whipping up bouillabaisse from an online recipe his first time 🤌🏼 *chef’s kiss*

All the times Seigi wanted to make Richard sweets, but also the time he WITHHELD THEM to get Richard to cooperate and talk 😂 I’m convinced I hallucinated that scene and I just read it today, I wanna reread

In the early parts, Sensei loves to fake us out and build suspense by making the reader think we’re gonna see Richard / have Richard and Seigi reunite 😆 It happened THREE times this vol with Jeff (as soon as he described the person’s skin as sickly I was like I can’t see Seigi saying that even if Richard was ill, but aww Jeff is going through it), then Haruyoshi where Seigi kept being so vague and just saying he was meeting a friend, and then finally Catherine whos doing the most entertaining herself with Richard cosplay to test Seigi 😂 Sensei got me good EVERY TIME

He may frustrate me at times, but I like Vince’s gamer side and his fashion sense. Gimme the phoenix jacket and the pink sneakers thankss. Probably the only time he enjoyed himself in this book was geeking out with Pierre about FPS games

There's a theme of masks in this book, of people behaving differently or performing a role outside of their true selves, for whatever purpose: Jeffrey playing the villain, Catherine playing the hostess, Vince playing Octavia's spy. But all these characters have sides to them underneath this that are hinted at or shown outright, and that mask slips away. Seigi can see through Jeffrey's and Catherine's pretty well, but he's still figuring out Vince

Seigi and his new doggo Jiro 🥺 I NEED THEM TO BE SAFE

THAT CLIFFHANGER?!?!? VINCEEEE

Will probably edit this to add more as this book spins around in my brain further until the next volume. Formatting on my phone is the worst so my apologies if it’s all over the place here. 😅

[fandomconsumesme]

Rambling as to make sense of DTAMHD, tw ed and klinsky reference, this is horrifically long but i promise i'm going somewhere with it

I gotta say, watching it the first time I was fairly disappointed (The acting and episode were great, just wasn't sure how I felt about it as a finale) But having spent time to process, i would say this does its job as a Dennis catharsis episode, particularly symbolically

Starting off, Dennis has been almost scarily normal this season, or about as normal as Dennis can be (catfishing your roommate into using xl anal beads), not creeping on women, not getting fed up with the gang all the time, working with them in a familial manner again. Shockingly, it seems he's doing pretty good, and growing into himself

Like at the beginning of the episode, he's actually going to a doctor and apparently everything looks normal. Either this doctor immediately needs to be disbarred, or Dennis has been doing better taking care of himself, an unheard of concept

4. Dennis has a desperate fear of getting old, willing to do anything to prove himself still valuable, something to be desired, both connected to his childhood abuse by Mrs. klinsky, a way of rationalizing that it was okay because Dennis is special, just more developed, and his tenuous relationship with his mother where he was the golden boy, but emotionally separated from her due to drug abuse.

5. Dennis' mind scenario thing starts right after the title sequence i think, and we pretty much immediately get his interpretation of the gang and how he sees them.

6. Charlie is childlike, confused over the concept of sea level, and Dennis has an almost patronizing view of him, not understanding how he's this way if they are so similar

7. Frank brings up the family style cooking, the point of the pressure cooker, but dennis and the gang are in two different places, and the only reason they called was the sea level thing. Dennis sees the gang as a family, but feels like an outsider

8. Dee is reasonable and kind, backing Dennis up, supporting his decision for a mental health day, but seems to lack understanding as to why Dennis is doing this, a fundamental disconnect

9. Mac is always in view, all of him, the focus of the call. Dennis stays watching him, even though he says nothing particularly relevant in the scene. The whole of him appearing also has interesting implications of Dennis knowing who mac is, but he can only get a picture of the other members of the gang for a few seconds at a time. Mac is his constant.

10. To continue that thread, the other members are always yanking the phone towards them, stopping Dennis from being able to interact with him, but Dennis always knows where he is.

11. Frank is an asshole, diminishing Dennis' problems, acting like they don't exist, and as a much smarter person noted here, dennis' watch starts beeping the moment he starts talking.

12. Mac is also patient, cautious of Dennis' boundaries and doing exactly what he has to to make dennis feel safe.

13. Dennis is insistent on it being his mental health day and none of them participating, but as becomes evident later, the day is miserable BECAUSE they aren't there to back him up and support him. Dennis tries to stay away because they make things complicated, but they make things complicated by causing him to have big feelings.

15. He also gets repeatedly annoyed by very little things, like downloading an app or not getting the precise tea he wanted, but then calms by blaming it on the system (system seems like such a familiar word in the context of dennis and his thoughts... I wonder what it could be referencing lol) So all of those little inconveniences that stop Dennis from doing what he wants, can in fact be attributed to the system. Not only does he acknowledge it's the system, but also that he isn't the only victim, that others suffer because of it.

16. The tsuma blares the song when he opens the door in the parking lot, and he's so focused on stifling it that he doesn't notice he's just made a mistake that will hurt him in the long run.

17. On the French dip, dee once again works in conjunction to Dennis, encouraging them not to eat it. Charlie is afraid of Dennis' wrath, but Mac wants for Dennis to come home and be happy. Mac tries to reassure dennis.

18. Overall an aggravating phone call, but the moment he turns it off there are almost reactionary consequences, a police car pulling him over.

19. Dennis comes up with his own metaphors for what he's going through in his mind, likening himself to a pressure cooker.

20. He also has Dee and Mac decide not to call because they want him to have a successful mental health day and respect his boundaries, but frank continues to belittle

21. Along the lines of 16, "Dennis' true self is the tsuma" theory, he goes into a fit of rage when he can't communicate with his car. Dennis is comfortable in the car, but when he exits he puts on a mask, and now can't get back in.

22. The true DENNIS System,

D-Deliver me from this as in get me out of having to demonstrate value

E-Engage with human as in wanting a real connection rather than a physical one

N-Nancy(boy)/Neighbor/Nightmare/Never ending as in repeatedly nurturing dependence in a way that hurts him with the wrong people

N-NIGHTMARE/Never gonna help me as in even worse than the first n, and him knowing that it only hurts to neglect emotionally

I-Is this real as in the potential of something real with inspire hope

S- Somebody help me as in him wanting to escape the system

23. By my reckoning there are 3 people the ceo could symbolize, those being Frank, mac, or Dennis as a mask.

a. Frank because he is so oblivious, able to live a live of lounging at the beach, but it was his actions and neglect which have led to Dennis being trapped in his own prison. The frank is an older figure, and it makes sense for the diamond to be derived from his heart as he is his offspring in a sense. Dennis is reclaiming his sense of free will, taking back control so he can live a life that isn't predestined by his upbringing. The hand on the chest is trying to make frank understand, dennis still gets the pleasure of violent retribution though.

b. Mac is the one orchestrating the pressure cooking of the diamonds, explains the extreme homoeroticism of the scene. The systems have been created to protect himself from mac, mac is allowed to lounge because he has found peace with himself (MFHP) Dennis wants that for himself, and receives it from mac. Mac reaches out first, at the encouragement of dennis, but is pushed away so dennis can show his appreciation, upon which mac looks shocked. They clearly understand and have sympathy for one another. A love song is playing, and dennis takes mac's purest essence for himself, showing how intertwined they are. Mac is left unhurt because it was about the gesture, not the carnage.

C. Dennis as a mask, or what Dennis has made himself into to survive, lounges because he has been given control over the inner dennis. He has created all of the systems, and tsuma is his, made into a form that he can control for his own benefit. Dennis is his own worst enemy, and seeks to deconstruct this unfeeling being in order to find himself. He has a touching moment with himself, where mask dennis realizes that it is necessary that true dennis come to power. explains the homoeroticism because of narcissism, and ultimately true dennis decides the most humane thing he can do is leave behind mask dennis, killing him gently and taking his heart, condensing it into a diamond that symbolizes his innate goodness and incorporating it into true dennis.

I personally think it's a mixture of all three, but regardless this IS Dennis' catharsis. The motifs are there (crying, a powerful body of water) and dennis takes back control, actively choosing to be better. it's different, but it's still there.

24. In the end, when it's all revealed to be a glimpse into Dennis' mind and he's lowered his blood pressure, it's not because he's won per say. before the title, Dennis was keying up for some kind of angry meltdown, but he takes a moment and thinks better. i wouldn't say Dennis has had just one catharsis, but a million little ones in his mind since the season started, a million little choices to be kinder, more patient, better. He calms down and has found at least a temporary solution to his problem (The kratom doesn't hurt either) dennis has gotten so much better with interacting with others this season tbh, and to continue that to an extent would stop him from being the dennis we all know and love, sleazy and manipulative. And what he loves, what he knows will help him, is to be with the gang, his family. And he makes the choice to go to them too.

Remember, there is a structure. It will be fulfilled. (And if it isn't, at least we have FVR and Tends Bar)

[itzrafee]

One Piece Chapter Discussion (Chapter 1126)

Ooh looks like the mystery continues with Yamato investigating the disappearances. I am so curious to see what kind of long lasting effects this will have as with this chapter we’re getting some resolution on a six to seven year old cover story. It’s nice to see Oda expanding on the story around Wano as it’s clear he had a lot of thoughts around it when he was writing it that he didn’t get to explore. I’m also quite curious as to what will happen with the cover stories the closer we get to the end. Whereas he has space to explore other facets of Wano through the cover story, is that something he’ll be able to do with Elbaph with it being so close to the end? Anyways, the rest of the discussion, which is spoiler filled, can be found below the cut!

I don’t know about y’all but I think it would be absolutely terrifying to be where the Straw Hats are in this first page if they weren’t allies with the giants. They straight up just kinda look like their dinner. But we’re not talking about Big Mom so I think the Straw Hats are probably safe. Also while somewhat terrifying, the designs of the Giants are great, they all ooze personality and joviality. I would not want to see them angry either. It’s interesting that the name of the absinthe they’re drinking is the “Green Fairy” and that it can cause hallucinations. Is that just set up to explain how and why the two parties got separated or is it set up for some absinthe-driven hallucinations? 

It’s interesting to me on a story structure level that this chapter kind of illustrates how Oda might have to delve into more slice of life stuff with the crew going forward. That before making this chapter important by flitting around the world and getting updates, Oda first spends some time with the crew just having fun and goofing off. It satisfies the pre-timeskip crowd clamoring for these types of scenes, me among that crowd.

This small sequence with Bonney also gets me right in the heart. Not only does she feel comfortable enough to finally be a child and not put on the airs of a grown adult that the One Piece world requires of people but also she gets to finally be free with her father. One Piece has this startling quality to it that makes the reality of war and oppression so real by contrasting the comedic with the emotional. And nothing hits quite as hard as the fate of the children of this series. We see through the suffering of the Straw Hats as children, Nami, Sanji, and Robin, among a few other characters throughout the series, on how oppression forces you to grow up and be stronger than any child should have to be. In recent arcs that oppression is a reality our young adult Straw Hats face head on. From Otama and Toko in Wano to the metaphors of growing up too fast that Bonney and Momo face us with, Oda is able to use these fantastical elements to deliver truths in more digestible ways. The tragedy of Momo and Bonney having to grow up so fast is such a potent and heart wrenching way to show this side of opression. But Oda is able to provide us with a catharsis that the real world so often denies by having Bonney feel safe again. By having Momo be safe and surrounded by loved ones.

Moving on from that dour and entirely too real note, we finally get a resolution on a cover story from wayyyy long ago where Bartolomeo burned down Shanks flag in Luffy’s name. And there’s a lot to talk about here. For such a fan-favourite and an audience surrogate for many, including myself, It’s odd that it’s been so long since we’ve seen Barto(don’t even get me started on Bon Clay!!). But it’s interesting that Oda seems to understand his impact as it seems like he’s being placed on the same level as Kid and Law in a way. Now this might be a little tin foil hatty of me but don’t you find it odd that Kid, Law, and Barto, all devil fruit users by the way, were all sunk at sea in the New World, the most dangerous sea maybe aside from the Calm Belt? 

And if we remember certain man with a burn scar who was first mentioned in chapter 1056(56=GoMu) and then again brought up in 1081 where it was mentioned that anyone who comes close to him gets swallowed up by whirlpools, I think we might have an option for what might’ve happened to those three. Adding on to that, if we go allll the way back to chapter 2 and full tin foil hat, we can see Luffy getting sucked into a whirlpool soon after he sets out on his journey but then bursting out of a barrel sometime after with Koby. In my head, I can totally see the aforementioned three joining Luffy on Elbaph, especially now that’s been separated from his crew. Maybe Luffy was also kidnapped by this whirlpool wielding man with a burn scar…again.

Okay, fanciful thinking aside we still gotta talk about how we’ve seen Shank’s main crew be ruthless badasses. Lucky Roux in Chapter 1 straight killed a dude while the whole crew laughed. Benn Beckman not only threatened Kizaru but also cut off Kid’s arm. And here, Yassop basically has a cannon attached to his gun and blows up a fleeing Barto Club. While these guys may seem easygoing, they’re still stone cold pirates. Also that ultimatum with the poison was pretty cold too. Barto’s ship blowing up also shows how lethal Yassop’s Haki must be, because I can imagine that Barto might’ve tried to shield his ship with his devil fruit.

I find it curious that Koby was so important to Blackbeard’s plans. I wonder if Blackbeard wanted to use Koby like how the Marines used Ace? We know how much Blackbeard’s plans mean to him. His scheming, though a lot of the time quite impromptu, is half the reason he’s an emperor already. And Blackbeard is in prime position to execute some big time operations. Not only does he have leverage in Garp(though thinking about it, wouldn’t the marines be glad to be rid of him?), he also has Pudding and all the knowledge Caribou brings. Oda makes it a point to show that Caribou has finally gotten to Blackbeard. It’s interesting that he’s surveilling the Revolutionary's too. Especially with Lafitte. Maybe he’s trying to get the heat off of himself by having Lafitte do some undercover hits and then blame it on the Revo’s?

Though, weirdly, the most important tidbit here to me is that Moria got away. It seems most likely that Moria will join Cross Guild as it seems to be the place for Warlord Alumni and Perona already has connections there in the form of Mihawk. I’d originally thought that Blackbeard was going to get Moria to reanimate Kaido, Big Mom, and Garp’s corpses with the obstacle standing in their way being that Blackbeard was responsible for Absolams death but now it seems like Moria’s going to be a player for Cross Guild, with at least the Yonkou resurrections still on the table. Also if Cross Guild is the place to be for former Warlords then we could see Boa join too. And maybe even Kuma and Doflamingo if the latter breaks out of Impel Down. Which I kinda hope he does just purely due to the fact that it might provide a path for Bon Clay to get out too.

This scene with Bonney and Jinbei is adorable but uhh, what’s Lilith staring at? Could she be communicating with Vegapunk?

Finally, in the last page we get some weird shenanigans happening. First, someone wakes Nami up but it appears that she’s alone. She’s had a change of clothes and seems to be in a lego house. The floor is kind of undeniable proof of that even if you want to try and explain away everything else. And finally, she seems to be alone. The going theory seems to be that this is Prince Loki’s lego house and that he’s playing with the StrawHats like toys. He could’ve been the one to call out for Nami. He could be a fan of the StrawHats. And honestly, that theory kinda makes sense, I totally subscribe to it. Loki could be a somewhat petulant giant like Big Mom. I also don’t think the impatient figure at the end of 1124 is him either as that seemed to be a human who was drinking, my going theory about that person being that it was Scopper Gaban, the third crew member of the Roger Pirates after Roger and Rayliegh. See ya next week!

[catofoldstones]

having lots of feelings about jon being known as lord snow/lord commander and sansa being known as a lady and now having to walk in bastard's shoes in their later arcs..opposite parallels are really there its so neat i'd wish i'd have more to say on it but its just an observation

wishing that the shed identities of each stark kid will be resolved by at least winds but while i have concrete ideas on how characters like arya,sansa or bran will resolve their identity issues even if bran is a bit more vague than jon, Jon is still a semi wild card, i don't believe he'll go full targaryen or whatever that suggests to fans but he does have a lot of arcs featuring identity issues from bastard/snow to wanting to be a stark by name to the widlings/warging in ghost constantly to lord commander of the night's watch and all of that almost and does get him killed by ADWD so i am curious on his next "transformation" but i do think it will feature a more "no bullshit" type of jon, the targ reveal will make it more complex but it'll always repeat on the crisis of being a stark, how it'll affect him personally and his family whether bastard or not and fans over emphasizing that jon will suddenly have targaryen loyalty is a bit far fetched considering how late the reveal is in his own personal story

They really started as lady and bastard only to end up bastard and lord by adwd, huh. There much more on the inside like Sansa was married off to a Lannister when Jon was pretending to be a deserter of the NW. Before that, little bird and crow. And now they're going to come home along with the other Starklings, finally ending the parallel cycle, oh my 🥺

I agree with you fully. Jon "let them say Ned Stark fathered four sons not three" Snow is not going to easily accept anyone else as his father lol. That boy has always wanted to be a Stark, there is no catharsis in him becoming a Targ and fully accepting it. He has been raised on the stories of how Lyanna was abducted by Rhaegar and how much the Starks suffered because of the last Targaryen monarchs. He is not going to accept his Targ heritage quietly or fully. If anything, we have evidences of people coming back from the dead as 'more themselves'. Take Lady Stoneheart, she is only concerned about avenging her family with her heightened sense of moral righteousness, which Catelyn already possessed and expressed. If anything, Jon is going to be more Jon, someone who has always wanted to be a Stark. You are also right in the fact that he is a wild card. We don't even know if he's going to get resurrected the same way LSH did or Beric Dondarrion did. We don't know for sure what impact warging into Ghost at his time of dying will have on him or his psyche or his personality.

Though I really like how the rest of the pov Starks will definitely shed their false identities within the coming arcs. I genuinely don't know what that means for Jon and what's on his plate next. No one could have predicted LSH either. Death tends to be sort of final...

[gallierhouse]

ngl even though i recognize this is a gothic horror and all characters have done bad things it's still difficult to reconcile in my mind bc i want them to realize they've done bad things and to suffer a bit! i want the people they've hurt to get some degree of catharsis from that suffering! delightful stuff really.

That’s tragedy for you. I do think that moralizing about gothic horror is a reductive response to it, though. Sure, there’s catharsis in seeing villains suffer, but this isn’t Aesop’s Fables. I do want them to suffer but I also love them for how terrible they can be (see: the tirade of statements posted against Lestat, immediately after the trial, then the tirade of images of his face, etc.). It’s interesting because the show has a clear moral stance on its characters but also invites us to question the nature of abuse through its depiction of remembering. It’s not that Lestat (or Armand, or even Louis, even Claudia) are one-note characters that do evil and nothing more; it’s that they’re all complex and capable of great love, great selfishness, great cruelty, and ultimately, great compassion and forgiveness. The story is less about who’s bad and who’s good and more about how we’re all capable of great good and great evil, especially when it comes to matters of survival. Shelving any character as nothing but their worst — or best — moments is antithetical to the story the show is trying to tell. But I do want certain characters to suffer. Just a little bit. It’s the tension between reactive emotion and intellectual understanding that makes it fun. But I do think it’s a very hopeful story. Yes, there’s cruelty, and malice, and punishment, and sadism, and there’s also love. Even if that love isn’t always a good thing. It’s still there.

[shadowquill17]

O, S, and X for the writing questions ^^

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

I would say a bit of both? I'll have a random, very isolated idea (a line of dialogue, or a random moment) and then I'll go at it and try to figure out how it could work. Which usually becomes led by the characters, because I try to write a scene about it and then start talking and I find out the tone I want for the story.

Then once I have a couple of those scenes I start to think of actual structure, adding in the stuff that makes it make sense, and then I just keep going until it feels good. ✨

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

I'm a sucker for so many tropes. Didn't know they were dating. Jealousy (not too much though) that leads to a confession. Everyone knows but them. Misunderstand—

Wait, no, that's the one. I know some people hate the misunderstanding trope, but it's my bread and butter. Someone has this deep belief about something that warps their entire perception of a situation, someone failed to ask one important question three months ago and now the consequences are piling on... there's SO MUCH potential there. 🥰

But more generally, I truly believe any trope can be done well, and as long as it fits the characters, I'm here for it.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Listen, I never enjoy it. �� And I don't think anyone knows me as an author who writes particularly painful fics, in general. But I want the catharsis of it all, and for that you have to dig a little sometimes...

In The Boys in the Boat, I do love to torment Bobby the most. He's so aloof and energetic, he acts like nothing can touch him, so there's just something about having him be an emotional WRECK that gets to me, you know? 😜

In Dead Boy Detectives I don't think I could choose between Edwin and Charles. They both react to suffering in such unique and interesting ways? I am simply fascinated.

I hope this answered your questions, thank you so much for asking me! ❤️❤️❤️

[rhythmic-idealist]

Something I get out of characters like Tenya Iida is that the deal isn’t “it isn’t your fault.” Yes fanfiction likes to sometimes say that but it isn’t what’s going on between Tenya and himself, and isn’t what he hears from Shoto and Izuku.

Izuku even considers apologizing, and then goes no, that would be selfish of me and feel strange to him— he’s at a place in his journey where he would feel worse if I said anything that took his own agency out of it.

Izuku empathizes with making mistakes that hurt themselves, which made it harder for them to become the heroes they want to be.

Shoto empathizes with a past of having been someone you aren’t proud of. Stand up and be Ingenium, then- I’ll be the hero my mom always believed in now. Make your brother proud now. We do care about being someone for others so let’s just stand up now and do that. Let’s notice what isn’t useful and stop doing it.

He does need to understand eventually the system that failed him. And I think he does, when Ochako gives her speech on that rooftop. I think processing it relative to Izuku opens the door to processing that he’s a little like that, too, that some system failed him. If he didn’t think other people were in some capacity an important ingredient, we wouldn’t see him trying so hard to save other people from falling down his path.

But he did all that. “It’s not your fault” doesn’t come up. Shoto and Izuku do not look at Tenya and try to tell him it’s okay, you’re good, because we refuse to acknowledge that ugly shit that you absolutely did do. You were suffering and you made terrible, violent, selfish choices in response to it. You couldn’t see your way out of the feeling and so you did do all that.

It would wound him I think. Terribly. If one of them told him that it’s not his fault. If he thought that was the good they saw in him—it would be a lie. If Tenya can be good—and oh we have all seen him—then we accept the premise that he moves forward to do good, and it’s not “not his fault.”

He did choose that. He chose to, for catharsis, and he did not have to. He did do all that. MHA is about what do you do after.

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 5!

(Using the “Book of Clarence” GIF because I just watched it today.)

For this chapter’s title, I picked the Warrior lyrics from “The Song of the Seven” because toward the end, Jace has to pick up a blade (so to speak) and physically defend herself for the first time in her life.

Chapter content warnings also apply for this commentary, since we’re talking about the same topics.

Aegon seems like he’d be an oversharer when he’s emotional. Just get everything off his chest, either as a form of catharsis or in the hopes of receiving validation, or both. I feel like Aegon is capable of having an excellent poker face (useful for gambling), but TGC puts so much emotion into Aegon’s every expression that it makes me think Aegon chooses to wear his heart on his sleeve. Everyone has already made up their minds about him so why try to pretend to be something he’s not?

Jace doesn’t like being idle, and Aegon’s speech is very very long. So she keeps her hands busy, and her instinct is to clean up Aegon’s face 🥺.

I was debating whether Jace forgives Aegon too easily, since she was very upset earlier. But Jace is generally quick to forgive, and she now has the missing pieces of the story. The drafts I wrote where she continued to be angry at Aegon made her seem unreasonable, and she isn’t the kind of person to value a feast/public appearance over innocent lives. But she is the kind of person to worry about lot (at times unnecessarily), so that becomes the new thing she fixates upon. Aegon and Aemond were a bit reckless, and of course Jace is going to focus on the worst possible scenario that could’ve happened.

Aegon sees Jace as perfect and himself as the total opposite, so he blames himself instead of Jace. But Jace isn’t afraid to do some introspection and examine herself for flaws—in fact, she often thinks about what she did wrong and could do better next time. And because Aegon is an oversharer, she picked up on his feelings of being neglected, even if he didn’t explicitly state them, and she’s able to put herself in his shoes. So they have a little marital spat, as every couple does, but they’re able to work through it without dragging it out unnecessarily long. Neither of them is looking to “win” the argument, they just want to put it behind them and return to their usual state of contentment.

Jace’s line about Aegon not being a beggar waiting for scraps of her time resonates with him. A variation of it pops up again in Chapter 10 when he makes his resolution to play the game.

The “send me a note so I know where you are if you need rescuing” line is foreshadowing Jace’s kidnapping. She sends him a sort-of note in the form of the necklace she gives to the Garden girl Liane. And “that’s what guards are for” highlights how Jace isn’t a fighter. She’s a lady/product of her society and upbringing, and nobody—herself included—expects her to pick up a sword if there’s trouble.

I wanted Jace to explicitly say “I’m proud of you” because that’s the kind of validation Aegon lives for, and she knows his love languages. Honestly these two have a mutual praise kink

The original draft had Jace being jealous and telling Aegon to get rid of the brothel, but the jealousy ended to seeming kind of petty, so I deleted that bit. Jace doesn’t want her husband to own a brothel (people are always going to assume he’s patronizing his own business), but now that they’ve had a chat, she feels very secure in his affections. Also, when they have more time to think about it, I think they both realize that hastily offloading the brothel to the first person who’ll buy it could potentially go very badly; if the buyer is a nasty person, the girls there probably suffer. Hence, Aegon’s hands-off, “I’ll pretend it doesn’t exist” managerial style.

Jace is usually very self-conscious about her body, but this is an era where it’s normal for royals/nobles to be assisted while bathing and it isn’t sexual at all. So she mentally compartmentalizes it differently than, say, bathing with her husband. Aegon is aware of this, but he likes teasing Jace 😛. (I’m sure he actually has caught Sabitha, who supposedly likes women in F&B, admiring Jace a few times, but otherwise Sabitha knows how to be professional.)

Aegon genuinely cannot comprehend the idea of Jace being unattractive. Bless him.

When Aegon pauses over Jace’s stomach, he he realizes it wasn’t just Jace waiting for him tonight but also his unborn child. Jace’s earlier words about him endangering himself really hit him, and he has a little growth moment where he realizes he can’t just act like a reckless bachelor but has to think more about his growing family as he runs around the city.

Like most Targs, Aegon is officially raised as a member of the Faith but he doesn’t really believe in it. Meanwhile Jace does have sincerely held beliefs which are pretty standard for the time. It should be remembered that historically, religion was more widespread and important in daily life, and going to weekly services would’ve been the minimum expectation.

In the show, Rhaenyra is portrayed as not even knowing how to pray at age 14, which was an odd writing decision IMO. Religion is pretty engrained into medieval society, and Aemma is from the Vale, which is a region that strongly worships the Seven. So even if you argue that Viserys didn’t care much about Rhaenyra’s spirituality, I’m sure Aemma did. Rhaenyra doesn’t seem to believe in the Faith at all, but she can still perform the outward motions of belief while being agnostic inside. So in my version of events, Rhaenyra arranges the typical education for her children, which includes a septa (especially important to girls) and the in-world equivalent of Sunday school, even if she isn’t going to otherwise encourage them to pay heed to religion. But because Jace is a very good girl, she paid attention to all the lectures. Hence, Jace and Aegon’s very different reactions to his blasphemy.

Anyway, I hope I made it obvious with all the religious dirty talk and innuendos, but this smut scene is intended to show that Aegon literally worships Jace 😇.

Rhaena hasn’t heard about the Targbros’ adventures yet, so from her perspective, Aegon has miraculously managed to talk himself back into Jace’s bed after a colossal fuckup. No wonder she’s exasperated lol

Aegon doesn’t usually read for pleasure, but he’ll make an exception for trashy erotica 💋.

The garden party scene is an appetizer to how Jace and Aegon can work together to manipulate the courtiers if they’re so inclined. Most of the plan was Jace’s idea, but Aegon was definitely the one who suggested showing off the hickeys. And he ad libbed licking his finger 😛.

There was originally supposed to be a comedic sequence where the story of the Targbros’ heroics wins them a lot of fan girls. Since Aegon is married, most of the ladies begin obsessing over Aemond, who literally runs away from his admirers and at one point just straight up leaves for Driftmark for an extended visit. Alas, it didn’t fit in the chapter—but I might retell it from Aemond’s POV in the next fic LOL.

As Aegon starts hearing the petitions and doing more investigating, we see that he might not be as averse to duty/responsibility as he claims. He’s averse to feeling unappreciated, and since the smallfolk are very appreciative of his help, he keeps doing the petitions.

Aegon assumes that the Tyroshi does the reasonable thing and flees Westeros when he has the chance. Unfortunately, we shall see that the Tyroshi is not a man driven by reason.

Now that our couple have recalibrated so Jace isn’t overworking herself, Aegon feels less like he’s competing for her attention so he’s able to open himself up to impending fatherhood. A lot of his growth in this regard is a gradual process, not a huge eureka moment, and he’s still working on it when we get his POV again in Chapter 6. But he develops the new habit of communing with the baby because he wants to try, even if he still isn’t sure he’ll be any good at fatherhood. At the very least, he knows he doesn’t want to make his child feel neglected by his father, as Aegon felt growing up. And because Aegon spends so much time talking and singing to the baby, Cheeseball essentially comes out of the womb recognizing his father’s voice 🥹.

Aegon does still have some hangups. He acts a bit weird during the name talk because he thinks he would prefer a daughter. Similar to Laenor, Aegon thinks a daughter would be easier because in his mind, he’s imagining a mini-Jace whom he can spoil. Also, daughters tend to be raised more by their mothers and he thinks Jace would do great. But fathers are supposed to be more involved with sons, and Aegon thinks he’ll be a bad influence. So he’s still trying to wrestle with those feelings.

Gyles is NOT a good businessman. There’s no way he could ever recoup the costs of shipping cheese from the Vale just through selling pies. He’s lucky he found a royal patron 😂.

In an early draft, I had the baby’s name down as “Rhaenor” so it could simultaneously honor Laenor and Rhaenys. Then I started doing High Valyrian on Duolingo and I noticed there were words like aegion (iron) and rhaenagon (to find), which had the same roots as some Targ names. I developed a theory that the Targ names are supposed to have some kind of meaning, just like how our real world names have meanings (the High Valyrian creator David Peterson basically confirmed my theory on tumblr when I asked in December). So I began hunting through an online Valyrian dictionary for other roots. At first I wanted to use the word for gold, but that’s aeksion and I couldn’t think of a pleasant sounding name based on it. Then I stumbled across the words eleni and elenar, music and tide respectively, and that was PERFECT for a baby who’s part-Velaryon and has a daddy who likes to sing to them. And it sounds really nice! I played around with some name suffixes (Elenaron, Elenarys) but I liked the original word the best. I decided that instead of continuing to use the same dozen Targ names, or mixing up different name prefixes and suffixes, Jace picks a new name for her child which symbolizes that her reign/generation is going to do things differently, while still paying homage to their ancestors by continuing to use a Valyrian name.

The above then led me to exploring potential meanings for Jacaerys/Jacaera and Lucerys/Lucera. They’re supposed to be traditional Velaryon names, and Velaryon names seem to be mildly “corrupted” forms of Valyrian with some Westerosi influence, so I gave myself a little more liberty with picking origin words. I imagine Jacaerys/Jacaera as derived from jaes (goddess), which Rhaenyra picks after Laenor’s comment (and I guess it’s even more fitting with all of Aegon’s blasphemy and worship 🙈), while Lucerys/Lucera is derived from lyka (quiet, silent, calm). For our Lucera, it’s an ironic name because she’s the complete opposite, but Rhaenyra picked it because of lykiri (a dragon command we see in the show, “calm down”).

I wanted to emphasize Jace’s loving, pampered environment during the first half of the chapter. She’s in her element when she’s inside the castle, but if you take her out of her natural environment, she has no idea what to do. She’s also never truly been alone in her life. She’s always with her husband, family, or ladies, and even if she’s alone in a room, there are plenty of guards and servants nearby. When she’s kidnapped later, it’s the first time she actually has to figure out what to do with no help whatsoever. And she’s jumping from her life of backrubs and hot baths to walking alone in the rain with only one shoe.

The second half of chapter 5 was originally VERY different. It was actually supposed to start with Jace and Aegon having a Jasmine/Aladdin-esque “whole new world” adventure where Aegon shows her around the city during a weeklong festival, then later their siblings all want to join the fun, and it spirals into the Tyroshi grabbing Jace. I even wrote out the whole thing…and then I realized how idiotic everyone was acting 🥲. When you have Jace, Aemond, and Rhaena in the group, somebody would’ve mentioned how reckless the outing was, and I just couldn’t go through with all the Targkids being willfully blind to the risks of sneaking out to the city. Afterwards, there’s a scene with Viserys yelling at them all for being so stupid and endangering an entire generation of Targs, and then he decides to put 100% of the blame on Aegon. I actually really liked the confrontation between Viserys and Aegon, but I couldn’t keep the “family outing” plot, so I had to get rid of that aftermath scene too. I might be able to reuse it one day in another setting though.

Instead I went with the Sept outing in the final version. Jace does everything right, but unfortunately the grippe (a medieval illness that was probably the flu) strikes the entire Kingsguard. I’m a firm believer in writers being able to use luck/coincidence to get characters IN trouble (as long as it’s believable, and it’s super easy for the flu to spread among seven dudes living in a frat house!, but not out of it. And this definitely gets our characters in trouble. Without the grippe, Jace still would’ve had other guards at the sept, but a Kingsguard would’ve been in charge and more competently handled the bathroom trip. Instead she gets a less experienced knight, whom Viserys picked to be in charge probably because of a combination of vibes and politics. The Grand Sept is a normal and frequent destination for royal outings, and Jace is very popular with the city’s people, so nobody is expecting trouble.

I invented Maiden and Mother’s Day as a two-day holiday, so that there’s an explanation for the Tyroshi being able to suss out Jace’s plans. On day 1, he observes the guards not following her to the septas’ quarters and figures out she’s likely to repeat the pattern on day 2; it’s pretty common knowledge that heavily pregnant women need to use the bathroom often. And I added the growing crowd of beggars receiving alms to show that Jace’s outing is far from a secret from the public. On the contrary, in addition to the religious stuff, it’s another PR opportunity.

I kept Sabitha and Rhaena back from the outing, because all six ladies really would have been too much for the Tyroshi and his henchwoman to overcome. Also, Sabitha canonically takes up arms during the Dance, and I think she would’ve walloped the Tyroshi. Rhaena isn’t a fighter, but her presence alone would’ve impacted the odds, and her absence allowed me to play with some tension between her and Jace later. (And yes, Helaena was getting some bad omens about the outing. But as I’ve said before, I think her visions operate on vague vibes, so she knows something bad is coming but not what exactly it is.)

The Garden madam doesn’t immediately leave Westeros because she’s lured into a false sense of security after the Targbros raid the warehouse. She’s taking her time planning her trip to the Summer Islands or wherever she wants to retire when the Tyroshi—who’s pretty cunning and knows she snitched on him—leaps back into her life and takes her brother hostage. Considering how brutally the Tyroshi has killed other people in the past—and she has firsthand knowledge of Daisy—she’s too afraid to risk angering him further by trying to report to the Targs or anything like that. And she is very close to the bottom of society; really poor smallfolk like her don’t think that royalty are going to pay any attention to them, even if she wanted to try sending a message. So she’s just in this to try to save herself and her brother. All the descriptions about her odd behavior and cosmetics are to foreshadow that something isn’t right, and she’s not a normal septa.

I got snarky feedback from someone who thought it was stupid that the Tyroshi didn’t immediately kill Jace and that the ladies didn’t immediately scream for help, and apparently they were hoping for a red wedding scene 💀. Idk about other people, but if I were reading a fic tagged with fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort, and “detour into drama and angst,” I would honestly be quite mad if one of the narrators/ship characters/a pregnant girl died horribly on screen, and there was nothing in the tags or chapter notes to warn for it. ANYWAY, here’s my unnecessarily long rebuttal of that reader’s feedback about my characters 😇.

The Tyroshi’s goal isn’t to assassinate Jace, it’s to get revenge on Aegon, against whom he’s developed a vendetta. He is a sadist and sociopath. This was already seen in how he treated Old Willow and Daisy in Chapter 4. Instead of just killing them, he drew out their deaths with horrible torture and abuse. His plan to take Jace so he can extend the torment Aegon feels is in character with what little we know of him so far, and we haven’t even gotten to the convos with him in Chapters 6 and 7. Sure, he could’ve just slit Jace’s throat and that would’ve been ample revenge against Aegon. But if he’s going to go through so much trouble to get his hands on Jace, he’s going to make it worth his time. And he’s very confident he’ll succeed, which he would have done if Jace didn’t have a secret weapon. Also, he quickly becomes interested in Jace as soon as he talks to her, so his desire to kill her goes down sharply.

As for the ladies’ reactions: like Jace, they’re all pampered girls who’ve never had to deal with real problems before. They’ve always had other people, like guards and servants, to deal with problems for them. This is a very shocking situation that they are in no way prepared for, and it’s natural for them to have have a moment where they’re trying to comprehend that Sara just died. This is definitely the case for Jace, who is initially too tongue-tied to do or say anything.

Why don’t they instinctively scream? I’ll address each of the girls below, but there are some answers that apply to everyone. There’s a saying “fight or flight,” but it’s more accurate to say “fight or flight or freeze.” All the girls are initially defaulting to freeze, and this includes their mouths/throats; their bodies/instincts are telling them to stay still and silent so they don’t draw more attention to themselves.

The Tyroshi “immediately” turns on Elinor, who has her inglorious moment. She acts as a selfish coward saving her own skin. I wouldn’t expect her to shout for help from the guards. She’s too busy hiding in the privy and praying the Tyroshi forgets about her.

Floris is 9/10 years old. She’s the youngest of the group, and she takes a lot of cues from the others. She has to be specifically instructed by Bethany to do something before she acts. Think of the bystander effect, and how in modern emergencies, it’s advised that you say “you [specific person], call 911” instead of a generic “somebody call 911.”

Bethany is the likeliest candidate to actually shout for help. If Elinor hadn’t run for the privy, I think that would’ve been Bethany’s next step. But because Elinor abandons Jace, Bethany switches from “freeze” to “fight” since she’s the only person left who can defend Jace (she doesn’t count Floris, who’s too little). I was also hoping that it comes as a pleasant-ish surprise to readers that Bethany actually takes her duty as Jace’s LIW very seriously when it matters. So even though Bethany is very scared, her priority is putting herself in front of Jace. And even though we the readers might be thinking, “This is a logical opportunity for Bethany to shout for help now,” I think most of us overestimate how logical and capable we would be in an emergency. Bethany is only able to think one step at a time, and those steps are 1) protect Jace 2) send Floris to get help. Only after Floris fails does she think of 3) shout for help, when it’s too late.

TLDR all the ladies are acting like the scared girls they are. Everyone reacts differently in an emergency, and it’s easy to provide armchair commentary of “but they SHOULD have done this instead” when the truth is most of us would also probably freak out and act irrationally ☺️.

Notice how the Tyroshi addresses Jace as “Princess Targaryen.” I’m sure he’s learned her name during his surveillance, but he sees her as Aegon’s princess rather than her own person, hence the impersonal address.

Jace’s good manners are so engrained into her that she defaults to using them while in survival mode. And honestly it probably saves her life. If she were rude or mouthy, like Baela, the Tyroshi probably would’ve killed her much faster. Instead he’s intrigued by meeting the epitome of a well-bred princess.

Confession: I originally had Cheeseball kicking in the womb when the Tyroshi touches Jace, which meant the Tyroshi was the first person to feel the baby move. Then I got really angry at myself for writing that, so I changed it and made Aegon the first person to feel the baby in Chapter 6, as he deserves ☺️.

Earlier drafts had Jace conscious while the Tyroshi fled with her from the sept, because I wanted her to drop a trail of cedar beads from Joff’s amulets to help people find her. But if she were conscious, she would’ve tried VERY hard to escape the hay wagon or get passersby’s attention, and it would’ve been really dumb of the Tyroshi to give her that opportunity. So dreamwine and strangulation it is. I highly doubt dreamwine takes effect instantly, so I added the strangulation part to speed things up. I did think very hard about how strangulation can cause miscarriage, but Jace proves to be a lot tougher than expected, as does Cheeseball, and it’s not a guarantee of miscarriage. Now, I don’t know for sure if dreamwine plus a moment of strangulation would actually cause Jace to black out and remain unconscious for hours, BUT dreamwine is fictional and you can only google so many things about strangulation, so we’re just going to say it works.

Jace uses the dragonglass from Joff’s amulet for a girl-child. Jace is a girl, so in a way, the amulet’s protection works even though Joff had a different target in mind 🥲.

Initially, Jace is hoping somebody miraculously comes to her rescue, because she’s been raised to expect that someone will always be around to help her. But it’s just her 🥺.

The Tyroshi’s inspection of Jace’s features is intended to be very uncomfortable and to show that he sees her as an object, albeit one to be admired. He compares her features to various Tyrosh-related things because he’s already thinking about bringing her back to Tyrosh, so he’s kind of justifying it in a “she clearly belongs in Tyrosh” way.

In case it isn’t clear, he wants her gown because he intends to wrap the baby in it for Aegon to find 🙁.

The Tyroshi has decided he enjoys cosplaying as a courtier and princess engaging in courtly love/romance, hence his very polite mannerisms. Jace senses this is what he’s up to so she plays along.

The Tyroshi is convinced he can keep Jace alive (as he says, he’s done this before), but it is REALLY dangerous for Jace to have moon tea so late in pregnancy. In ASOIAF, Lysa Tully almost dies and has fertility issues when she’s forced to drink moon tea, and I suspect she was earlier in her pregnancy than Jace. So even if Jace survived (big if), her health would never be the same. (Would be an interesting succession crisis issue, but I can’t bring myself to write that AU.)

Laenor in the afterlife is so happy that his advice about rivers helps save his firstborn 🥹.

I just want to point out that it’s REALLY fricking dark where Jace is. There’s absolutely no light other than the occasional lightning, and the light pollution from the city is minimal since we’re in an era where lighting at night is expensive and firelight only. Girl is operating on hopes and prayers and thoughts of her husband right now. TBH if I were in her place, I’d just give up and cry 🥲. But even though Jace is pampered and gentle, she’s surprisingly resilient, and she has her baby to think about. I mentioned earlier that Jace has never truly been alone before until now, but she actually has Cheeseball to keep her company, and I think that helps her keep going until she reaches civilization.

Chapter 6 commentary here