#i want to eat my feelings but i know i shouldn’t also my tummy hurts :-

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 08:25 P.M 」

tw: pregnancy. overall, just some domestic dad-to-be gojo trying to show how much he loves you even with how your body changes and all <3 based on a request!

a part of gojo's love entries

don’t think that satoru hasn’t noticed how you linger in front of the mirror these days, touching your body all over—particularly your baby bump. seeing your face twist into a sad frown dampens his spirits too.

on the other hand, you understand that it’s a natural process, but you have never gained this much weight before, and despite already having your husband reassure you before, you still feel somewhat meh about yourself.

“how’s my favorite girl and little rascal doing today?” he flopped down on the bed beside you as soon as he returned from school, caressing your belly. “ready to come out yet?”

you throw him an unamused look. “no, satoru. and don’t make it sound so effortless. i’m the one pushing him out.”

“ahh, but i can’t wait though~”

his palpable excitement actually made you smile as you placed your hand over his. but then your smile fell a bit and he was quick to notice it.

“what’s on your mind?” he asked then. “talk to me, hmm?”

“no… it’s nothing.” you looked away, a bit ashamed. if satoru says he’s not bothered by your figure, you really shouldn’t be thinking about this any longer. you didn't want to make him worry… but it really wasn't easy to let it go.

“hmm, my baby mama can’t be sad,” your husband pouted, and suddenly he pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “she’s the cutest when she smiles.”

you looked up to him, feeling the security in his arms and yet still a hint of uncertainty in your voice. “am i just cute… to you?”

you wanted to be beautiful too. like how he used to sing you praises during your school days.

satoru grinned. and it’s the kind of toothy grin that makes your heart soar.

“no. you’re also pretty.” he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “and you’re smart, kind, nags a lot, gets pouty easily… and you're sweet like a dango, makes me want to gobble you up.”

“so now i’m a dango?” you nestled your head against his broad chest, feeling your face start to heat up, and a smile beginning to curve your lips. stupid satoru. he said all of them so easily it was making you giddy and felt silly for doubting him at all.

“just because our baby is going to be a mochi. and look, you’re so close to carrying him to full-term,” he rubbed your swollen tummy again, this time with a more sincere smile. “i love you the most for it.”

your eyes took a shine, processing his words, and you could’ve sworn that right now, nothing could’ve shaken your feelings for your silly husband.

suddenly your baby kicked you hard as if to reprimand you too for your insecurities, and you winced.

“hurts?” satoru questioned, slightly concerned when you nodded. “wait i’ll tell him off.”

he cleared his throat and began making circular motions on your abdomen, as if to summon him.

“yo, brat. you can’t kick your mama like that too often these days. you’re accumulating karma and she counts it. when you come out, she’ll forbid you from eating our favorite mochis and—”

“satoru!!”

and then the two of you just burst into giggles, and once again, you utterly and thoroughly fell in love with him. for always making you feel safe... and loved.

“you know, satoru...” this time it was you who hugged him, breathing in his scent for comfort. now you were totally worry-free, the softest of smile on your face. “i’m really grateful that... we found each other.”

at your heartfelt confession, satoru felt his chest tighten with warmth and his cheeks flush. he is so blushing and he tries covering it with a chuckle. and the words lingering at the tip of his tongue were—

“heh, aren’t you glad you married me?”

yeah... i’m so glad that it’s you too.

[tinytummee]

Story under the cut - a bit longer than usual, and slightly more forward 🙊

You sir, are dangerous.

I first realized this during dinner, when you kept piling on more to my plate. You were urging me to eat, telling me that I shouldn’t waste food, that I need to eat to keep my strength up. You eventually picked up the fork and held it to my lips, telling me open up for you. Between shaky breaths and nervous glances, I obeyed.

The second time I noticed the danger in you was afterwards, when we were on the sofa. Your warm hands lingered on my round belly, holding it almost possessively. I whined that my tummy was too full, it hurt so much - in reply you started to rub it. You were gentle, at first…slow circles around the dome of my stomach, my softness following the movement of your palm. However, gradually you became a bit more rough - your hands would press just a bit more firmly, your fingertips would poke and prod at my heavy lower tummy, and you’d lift my little bump in your hands and squeeze it between your fingers. All to hear me whimper, to watch me squirm, to taste my pouty tears as you kissed me. You wanted to make my vulnerable little belly swollen and sick.

But your dangerous actions didn’t stop there. Because while you were playing with my tummy, you were also peppering kisses along my neck. Your hands would rise to play with my chest, and fall to brush against more intimate places. Once you were on top of me, pressed against me and squeezing my poor unsettled tummy against your own stomach - I saw your eyes. The hunger in them, the want, the need. It made me melt, and it was all too easy for you take me that night - completely bare.

So now I’m looking in the mirror, lifting my shirt to observe my heavy tummy. It’s grown to be about as round as it had been after you fed me - and I know the reason why. I can’t deny it anymore. You really meant it when you said you wanted to fill me; you’ve now done that in every way possible.

It’s my own fault. I knew you were dangerous…but you were also terribly irresistible. So now I’m bulging with your baby sitting on my hips, heavy and uncomfortable. All I want right now is to feel your warm hands on my tummy again - whether they’re gentle or not.

[comethead]

hi hi hello! never made a request before i’m kinda new to tumblr lol

ANYWAYS.

jason x fem!reader and reader broke her ankle and ofc jason is being super sweet and gentle and eventually reader really wants to fuck him but he’s hesitant bc broken ankle but like super sweet gently sex?? (also pretty pet names please i’d actually melt)

- 🦚 (can that be my anon?)

omg hiii, yes! 🦚 anon I hope you're still around cuz haha school got in the way but here is your request! hope you enjoy >u<

Care for You

MDNI // smut // Jason Todd x Reader

(afab reader, creampie, praise, gentle sex, pussy eating, no use of y/n)

Ao3 Link

“Hey, hey, settle down, I’ll grab that for you.”

You huff, sitting back down on the bed as Jason reaches for the magazine you were eyeing. They sat at a pile at the foot of your bed, which you’ve been confined to for as long as Jason was around. That being, always, as he hasn’t left your side since you broke your ankle, with the exception of going on patrol (but not without telling you a hundred times over to give him a call for absolutely anything). 

You give your boyfriend a peck on the cheek once he closes the distance between you two to hand you your magazine. “Thank you Jay, though I will say I’m not that fragile you know,” you pout, flipping open the booklet to the first couple of pages. He snuggles up to you, resting his head on your shoulder as he murmurs, “I know, but I’m gonna take care of you regardless. Can’t have my baby going and breaking her other ankle.” You smack him lightly on the arm for the last comment as he chuckled. You puff out your cheeks in mock anger and turn your head swiftly away from him. Gently, he places a hand on your chin to turn you to look back at him. “C’mon, you can’t stay mad at me for long, can you sweetheart?” You melt under his gaze, and flush as he presses a soft kiss to your lips. You press your lips against his when he draws back, and he gladly returns your passion by deepening the kiss. Before long, the two of you are making out, breaking apart for air before locking lips again. 

You tug at his shirt, beckoning him to take it off. You’re incredibly turned on, the way his lips are wet and red from making out, watching his broad chest rise and fall as he pants. “Hey,” he breathes, “I don’t think we should…your ankle-”. You shush him, and whip out that magazine from earlier. You flip to a page and show him a little diagram with a small paragraph describing it. “Look, it's a sex position that won't strain or jostle my ankle too much,” you say proudly, grinning at the way Jason’s eyes widen. “Jeez, my pretty baby is doing her research, huh?”, he chuckles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You smile back at him, tossing the magazine aside. “Soooooo..?” you ask, running your hands down his chest and to his stomach, noting the way his breath hitches. “Mmm, I really think you shouldn’t risk it babe,” he groans, catching your hands and holding them in place.

“Oh Jay, I promise I’ll say something if it hurts at all and we’ll stop immediately. Pretty please?”, you whine, gazing hopefully into his eyes. Jason sighs, releasing your hands and moving his to your breasts as he massages them. You whimper, placing your hands on top of his as he whispers, “Alright, you better keep that promise though.” The low notes of his voice sends tingles down to your tummy and you can barely contain your arousal as you moan, his fingers pinching your sensitive nipples. Moving down, he pulls your shorts down slowly, making sure not to move your ankle too much. Kissing your bare thighs, you suppress another moan when you feel his hot breath against your cunt. Jason moves your panties aside as he licks a broad stripe on your folds, feeling your wetness on his tongue. You nearly clamp your legs around his head in pleasure, your head thrown back and mouth open in a silent plea for more. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he holds you gently yet firmly in place as he continues eating you out. Circling his tongue around your clit, you let out a breathy moan from the stimulation as he works at bringing you to your climax. Adjusting your legs with the slightest of movements and with great care, Jason pulls back from your soaked cunt, your pleasure evident on his chin. “Fuck baby, you look so damn pretty,” he breathes, gazing at you with half-lidded eyes. You flush, covering your face. “Hey, don’t get all shy on me alright?” he gently pushes your hand away from your face as he cups your cheek in one hand. “You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” he says, kissing you softly. You return the gesture, and the taste of yourself has your pussy clenching around nothing. “Oh Jay, please-” 

“Mhm, I got you baby.” He’s pulling his boxers down now, his hard cock bumping against your sensitive clit. Slowly, he begins to push his length in, whispering praises and groaning at the way you squeeze around him. Thrusting gently so as to not jostle your legs too much, you feel another orgasm build up. His steady pace keeps you moaning and crying out his name as you feel his dick fill you up. “Oh fuck,” he pants, leaning down to press little kisses to your neck up to your face. As much as you’re able to, you rock your hips onto his cock, feeling the stretch of your pussy accommodating his girth when he bottoms out. “Shit, sweetheart, I’m- ngh- I’m close,” he moans, thrusting faster. You whimper as you feel your own orgasm approaching, finally cumming when your sweet Jason cums deep into your cunt, filling you up. The two of you stay like that for a while, with him in you and the both of you breathing heavily. He finally pulls out and carefully lays down next to you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Told you I’d take care of you,” he smirks, and you roll your eyes in false annoyance, happy to have had sex with your favorite boy.

[serafiel-jacobs]

Tummy ache survivor (Fanfic)

Pinocchio gets his first-ever tummy ache

Pinocchio was making his way back to the stargazer, he was in Rosa Isabelle Street and had run out of supplies, he needed to go back to the hotel but before leaving something caught Pinocchio’s eyes, a box that looked completely intact, almost as if it had been put by the stargazer on purpose, Pinocchio picked it up and opened it to find a box filled with chocolates, he had never eaten anything before, he wondered if he could, and he had seen by the many advertisements around Krat to know that everyone loves chocolates, Pinocchio picked up one of the chocolates from the box.

“Hey buddy maybe you shouldn’t really do that, you don’t know where that came from, you don’t even know if you can eat food properly” Gemini chirped from his cage.

Unfortunately for Gemini, sometimes when he tells Pinocchio not to do something, he does the exact opposite to try and prove how wrong he is, so Pinocchio ignores what his friend said and puts the chocolate in his mouth, taking a bite.

It was… really good! The sweet taste made Pinocchio start to feel excited, it filled him with energy, he ate a few more; the box had different flavors of chocolate, Pinocchio ate almost all of them, but he ignored the bitter ones, he didn’t like how they tasted. Pinocchio was smiling, he was very happy that he was able to eat, Gemini wanted to be mad at his friend but at least it made him happy to see Pinocchio be happy, and Pinocchio learned something new about himself.

Pinocchio didn’t just want to leave the box there, so he took it with him, Once he was back at the hotel, he was greeted by Sophia, who gave him a curious look at him holding the box, but she said nothing and reserved herself to aiding him with her powers.

Pinocchio left the box on one of the many empty tables in the hotel lobby, he gathered his supplies from Polendina and upgraded his weapon with the help of Eugéne, he didn’t want to leave so soon, so Pinocchio made conversation with everyone at the lobby, well more like he listened, he was more of a listener than a talker, Venigni certainly appreciated watching Pinocchio get exited about all his inventions, and how he would nod along to what he said.

He then made his way to see Lady Antonia and he was also greeted by his father who was talking with her, they quickly ended their conversation, Pinocchio isn’t dumb he could tell it was something private and he didn’t want to be rude by asking what they were talking about.

“Son you are back, I hope you have been a good boy while you were gone” His father greeted him, he always asked Pinocchio to be a good boy, to always tell the truth, and Pinocchio felt bad because he would lie, a lot, but his father wouldn’t understand why he had to lie to others.

“Please get a little closer boy, I want to take a good look at you, I need to enjoy it while I still have my sight,” Lady Antonia asked of him, he took a few steps but he stopped, Pinocchio felt a sharp pain on his abdomen, he had never felt like this before, yes he had been hurt while fighting but he hadn’t felt something like this, something from the inside.

“Is there something wrong?” Antonia said, and Pinocchio could tell that his father was now worried as well.

“It’s…nothing” he lied, but it wasn’t a very convincing lie, Pinocchio then started to feel worse, he put one of his hands to his stomach and another to his head, and he was starting to feel dizzy.

“Son? Son what’s wrong?!” Geppetto was now panicking.

“It hurts,” He said while pointing at his stomach.

“That’s odd, that shouldn’t be happening, are you hurt? Did something happen out there while you were fighting?” His father started bombarding him with questions, but there was nothing Pinocchio could think of.

Pinocchio was now crying he didn’t understand why he was feeling this way, he could tell that his father and Lady Antonia were taken aback by it as well, and his crying got the attention of everyone else, Venigni and a Pulcinella made their way to them, Eugéne soon followed, they had to inspect what was happening.

“Seriously nothing? Is there really nothing you can think of?” He could tell by his father’s tone of voice that he was getting desperate, Venigni was trying to calm his father down.

Polendina was the last one to enter the room, and he had the box and his hands, he had figured that if was going to be there he might as well bring what Pinocchio had left behind, the box quickly caught everyone’s attention it didn’t take much for them to put two and two together.

“Pinocchio…” his father’s voice had taken a stern tone, “Did you eat something that you randomly found on the streets?”

“Um, no”

“Yes” Gemini spoke up, “And just to be clear I told him not to do that”

His father put his palm to his head and everyone else laughed, why was everyone laughing? He was suffering here!

“My dear boy you just have a stomach ache,” Antonia said in between laughter.

“Huh, a what?” He was confused.

“Oh you poor thing, you have never gotten sick before have you?” Eugéne teased him.

“Well maybe that’s a good thing, you really are full of surprises aren’t you?” Venigni found the situation amusing, and highly interesting, Pinocchio certainly wasn’t a normal puppet, he wonders how Geppetto was able to build him.

Pinocchio was about to say something but he felt something going up his throat, and Pinocchio ended up vomiting on the floor, it had the brown texture of chocolates and… a few tiny gears scattered around the floor, he started to cry louder, his father went by his side and rubbed his back, “There, there, you just need to rest that’s all”

Geppetto was not that good at comforting but he had to try, this was his son after all and he couldn’t make the same mistakes he did with Carlo, also he had no idea how this was even possible so there was also the shook of seeing that, is he becoming human? Is he something else entirely?

“You should grab one of the rooms upstairs, Polendina please give them a key so that Pinocchio can lay down and rest” Antonia thought it was best for him to have some space for himself.

———-

Despite the fact that he was being treated as a prince, Pinocchio still couldn’t stop crying and tell to however could hear how much in pain he was, his father stayed by his side all the time, mostly conforming him, not without the occasional scolding of how “you shouldn't eat things if you don’t know were they came from” or the “what if it was poison”, but after that he would play with his hair and assured him how everything would be fine.

Geppetto also wanted to scold Pinocchio for trying to tell such a blatant lie, but in the end, he is the one who gave Pinocchio the ability to lie; well, if it isn’t the consequences of his own actions, he just told his son to be a good boy and be more careful.

Everyone else stopped by his side from time to time, even Spring decided to take a nap next to him, which made Pinocchio very happy; Antonia cuddled him and he didn’t want her to go back downstairs, he made the excuse that it would be a hassle to get her back down due to her wheelchair, but the truth was that he just wanted her all by himself, he was reveling in all the attention, in fact, was so happy about all the attention he was getting that for a second he thought that he should get himself sick more often so that he gets spoiled like this more, but then he puked again and the thought instantly left his mind.

Once he finally felt better, it was time for him to resume his mission, he went downstairs and Sophia greeted him by the stargazer, she was the only one who didn't spend time with him, but it made sense, only he and Gemini could see her for some reason, Pinocchio is sure that the others think he has an imaginary friend.

Sophia gave him a smile, before he could leave she gently poked his stomach and let out a giggle.

“Take care clever one”

[dirk-rider]

Eructo

This one is so fucking obvious I don’t think I need to say anything, but I will. I cannot cum without the act of burping being involved in some way. I simply require it.

Eprocto

Oh god how I love the relief that comes with this one. The way the scent marks a person, the way it hurts so bad until it hurts so good.

Stuffing

Temporarily broke the format of prefixes first for this one because it’s so deeply intertwined with its predecessors. I fucking love food. I love feeling my gut heavy against me. I love knowing that I can eat more than most people and still have room, I love listening to the digestive system work its wonders, I love the results of a good meal.

Somno

Somewhat connected to my interest in plush. I want to be so fully in control of someone else that they couldn’t fucking fathom resistance. I also really love this in scenarios where the truest feelings are given while the recipient is fucking zonked out, like yes please let me cry and thrust into you and mumble about stupid shit as you lay beneath me fast asleep. I also just think sleeping is attractive. It’s of the most base needs, and you trust me enough to keep me around as you engage? Fuck yeah, it’d suck if I abused that power.

Plush

I want to be in control, pretty obviously by now. This one really appears when I’m in a bit worse of a headspace than I’d like and probably ties back to the whole psychological phenomenon of acting out traumas blah blah, I don’t give a shit I like feeling soft polyester against me.

Autoandro

I love being called a man. I love being reminded that I’m stronger than you, that I’m manlier than you, that my efforts have been paying off. I love being reminded just how hot you find me. I love the way I can feel my muscles, I love how fucking fit I am.

Voyeurism

Typically I prefer unintentional voyeurism, like walking in on someone jacking off and just watching, though I also dig the thought of watching so intently while pretending things are fine, a la el Brobot (whoa combining languages to make a fucked up newer one? Inconceivable, I’m just like the Angles and the Saxons). Like fuck yeah, I know you get off to filthy, disgusting things. I watched you do so.

Denial

Resident blue-baller here, total hedon who really liked taking with hardly giving in return. No, I’m not going to get you off until I get off, now touch my bloated stomach if you want to cum sometime soon. (This makes me sound fuckin sick for all my replies to the fact that you can’t cum kek).

Humiliation

Not hardly at all into public humiliation if it negatively affects others, but when it’s a sort of inside secret between two parties it gets me fucked. “Oh, Dirk, my stomach hurts” “shut the fuck up” and nobody else understands why the reply is aggressive, nobody but the participants put together his lack of want for a raging boner.

Pup shit, no clue the name

I like being called a good boy. I want to be on a leash held by you, I want you to give me treats and tummy rubs.

Biting/licking

I have a mouth, why shouldn’t I use it?

[fionacle]

read tags before proceeding i’m still talking about gross stuff (long post)

this post isn’t saying that you can’t/shouldn’t want a baby/to be pregnant/to give birth, but it does talk about why one wouldn’t want to, so if you’d rather not read then don’t. note that if any information is inaccurate that’s because the most research i did for this post was googling ‘are babies parasites’ and reading the first sentence of the first result. i am 17 and have never been pregnant or done anything that could get me pregnant. this is a post about fears and discomforts based on observations and memories. this also refers to having vagina + boobs, not everyone who gives birth has boobs, and some HAD a vagina but don’t anymore, but the typical people who try to force kids on you are cis people with typical genitals, so i want to talk about them. especially since i, while being trans and having dysphoria about my chest, have those parts myself. if there’s any part of the pregnancy experience i describe as negative that you see otherwise please don’t be mad, once again this is a post about how i feel.

it’s so bizarre to me that it’s so expected to want to. i know why it’s the norm, when you have such a big milestone in your life you expect it for other people, most people get paternal instincts, and having babies continues the species. but think about it. i won’t get into why you may or may not want to make a baby but there’s artificial insemination anyway so what does it matter. my point is i’m uncomfortable with being intimate, and don’t want someone else’s dna inside me, so that’s step one off the shelf so easily, and all anyone can say is ‘you’ll grow out of those feelings’ (which only makes someone angrier about the thought of pregnancy).

anyway now you have one in you. it’s growing. there is an organism inside of you. people talk about that as so pleasant, but it feels like an alien movie to me. i don’t think baby’s are actually technically parasites, but they function a lot like one in my opinion. they’re attached to you. they suck out your resources for themselves. no matter what you do there is a living thing inside of you and that is a horror i cannot begin to fathom being desirable. did you know lice live under your skin? to me having a baby within me sounds comparable to having a tapeworm. then there’s complications. if you have a miscarriage, you may have to carry a corpse within you to term. dead flesh inside of you. for months. things like that. you get hormones that make you obsessive, rearranging your “nest”, strange cravings. and you have to restrict your intake for the health of the baby. eat more vegetables so it gets vitamins, i don’t anyway but not drugs or alcohol because that could mess up the baby. no excessive activity for most because it could hurt the baby if you fall on your stomach or something, later in the pregnancy the baby bump may be so big some activities aren’t even an option anymore.

now you’re giving birth. ow. fucking ow. labor sucked and you soaked your pants with the water breaking. assuming you’re having a hospital pregnancy, you better pray you have someone you love in the room holding your hand. you better pray the pain medicine kicks in. no matter what, you feel a little body shoving through your hole, and some fuckin guy’s head is between your legs. they’re saying ‘push! push!’ but you barely know what that means! what if the baby comes out feet-first and gets choked by the umbilical cord? this thing you worked so hard to get could just die before you even hold it. assuming you WANT the baby, that’s a huge loss too, and you’ll probably have a whole room prepared that you’ll never be able to look at again without dying a bit, will you give up or try again? another 3/4 year dedicated to some creature you’ve never met and don’t know the fate of. you could also have a c-section, wow a tummy scar that’s fun. that pregnancy and birth could’ve killed you. if you’d had an abortion it could’ve killed you too.

you could also adopt.

so you have your baby. what’s the problem now? first off, potential health problems. what if your baby has a bad heart? what if it’s missing skin on its face or has some other deformity? you should love your child just the same and this doesn’t diminish their worth, but you were expecting a perfect one. a healthy one. maybe you knew about the complications before the birth, but now you have to look at them on your own baby.

your baby is home. you now have to spend a fortune feeding and clothing and teaching it. can you afford that? can you handle the responsibility? do you have others in your life willing to help? if you can’t handle this baby and give it away, will the hormones your body made to make you attached to this baby tear you apart? you’re still lactating, if you don’t empty your boobs that’s gonna swell and hurt and maybe even get infected. what if you keep the baby, but give it all the same traumas your parents gave you. what if you miss milestones? what if there’s another caretaker actively hurting your child but you don’t know how to stop them?

you’ll lose friends too. child—havers tend to stick together, and it’s not all, but there are people without kid who will leave you for having them. they think you’re boring now, or you just can’t relate to each other anymore. your life is your baby, and now you’re not your own person anymore. your child will struggle to see you as a full person too, since you’re their god. you can choose to prioritize yourself, but then aren’t you a bad parent?

your baby grows up. your baby is in school. they’re not your baby, they’re your kid. they’re getting bullied. what do you do? will the pain and shock of your little one being a victim make you scream at them? will you have any actually helpful advice?

your child is even older now. uh oh, they’re showing signs of neurodivergence. maybe even queerness. if you’re against these things, you’ll push back and make them hide themself from you and others, maybe even themself, hurting them in the long run. you don’t know how to deal with these things, you didn’t sign up for this, why couldn’t you just have a normal kid? even if you’re neurodivergent yourself the added responsibility of a child with “special” needs is no easy thing to manage.

your child gets older. they wrecked your car. shit. can you afford to fix that? what’s an appropriately-sized punishment?

they’re 18. they’re leaving you. empty nest. you threw away your life for theirs, what do you do now? the pieces from the trash have all climbed out and moved on, you can’t just pick them up again. you barely even have friends anymore. what the fuck do you do?

and then you have to face your own death twice as much. when i die, will my child have the abilities and resources to care for themself?

so just in case you were ever unsure how to defend not wanting kids, outside of a simple lack of desire, here this is. if you’re the forcing type, hopefully this changes how you go about things, or at least makes you a bit more understanding.

pregnancy can kill you physically, but the toll carrying and raising a child take on you mentally? what part of that is worth it if you don’t REALLY want a kid? and even then, if you assess yourself as an unfit parent (abuse/neglect/etc.), you shouldn’t go for it. it’d be an incredibly corrupt and horrible system, but i think about that baby license idea a lot.

[keefwho]

February 28 - 2023

8:41 AM

I still feel pissy this morning. 

For breakfast I’m having the last chicken patty from this bag I got a few months ago. It’s a tiny challenge because I often feel like freezer food is “old” when it’s perfectly fine. Considering my freezer is on average -25 degrees, nothing should ever go bad in it. Just get freezer burn maybe. So this morning I’m trying to pretend there is nothing to worry about because there isn’t. Although talking about it like this is making it seem like there is one. 

2:04 PM

I’m lonely and useless today. I do not want to try. No one wants me around. Fuck it all. I’m just gonna lay in bed with my Switch until I feel better. 

3:16 PM 

 I used to have someone that made me their priority. While it ended up not being a good thing, I at least felt cared about. Now I feel like I could easily be left behind by anyone. I could easily be left on my own. I'm afraid everyone will slip away.

4:34 PM

I don’t want to eat but I have to. 

Im such a huge disappointment to everyone. I can’t even do my simple chores for the day. 

5:13 PM

No one will pick me up. If I let myself fall then that’s the end. Maybe I don’t want to get up right now. 

Why am I even alive

6:22 PM

I’m so fucking angry at myself for being such a piece of shit. Why can’t I just pull my act together. I understand why I am unlovable. 

7:14 PM

I have to stop taking it so personally when people don’t reach out to me. It’s extremely likely that no one even knows I’m this upset. And if they do they might not know what to say or think I need space. It’s really up to me to reach out but I also don’t want to bother people with my stupid problems. 

I really have no idea what to do about myself right now. I don’t know how to cope with how I feel. I’ve been stuck in my head all day and haven’t had the willpower to do anything. I always get stuck like this and will feel better with time but it’d be better if I could start doing things to make myself not fall so far. 

Right now I’ve accepted no one wants me around tonight which I know isn’t true, but it’s how I feel. The truth is I don’t want myself around right now and I’m projecting that onto other people. I don’t know what anyone wants, only what I want. 

I guess trying anything would be good right now. I’ll try to sit down, close my eyes, and focus on some kind of audio for a little bit. That usually helps me get my mind on track. 

I also need to stop expecting to get a message from anyone. Sometimes I just close my messaging apps in hopes that ignoring it will help but if I end up opening them up after awhile and still have no messages, it makes things worse. Only because I expect engagement from at least one person. I shouldn’t expect anything. 

8:29 PM

A good way to figure out what I care about during times of intense distress is to ask “What would I need to not care about in order to stop feeling this way?” I’d have to stop caring about my relationships. I’d have to stop caring about how my tummy feels. I kinda already knew this but it helps to explore it further I guess. What do I actually want out of my relationships? Or my health? 

I think I want to be more honest about my fears of losing people. I only fear it may come off as strange or obsessive if not worded correctly. But I figure everyone is afraid to lose their closest friends to some degree. It would also help to have confirmation that they are there for me in the same capacity I’m there for them. I tend to be extremely dedicated and loyal. I want to maximize the quality of my connections rather than make more. In some cases I feel there is some disconnect there. I know some people just want more friends and can’t give me the same attention I give them. And that really hurts when I find out. 

I really wish I could get my tummy off my mind more, it bogs me down on days like today. I want to be able to ignore it and focus on more important things like my friends. 

I still have a massive void in my personal interests. I don’t know what they are. Or if my personal interests should be solo things. Maybe I really am only interested in things that involve others. I just don’t know. 

11:38 PM

I had an epiphany today. Something that gives me some actual direction. I’ve overidentified with the brand “MarsMiner.” Internally I’ve told myself that this is who I am for so long. I always thought I never let “fame” get to my head, but I did. I did in a way that is toxic to myself rather than to others. I don’t outwardly project it but I’ve always enjoyed being “known” or “somebody” even to a small sphere of people. I think it’s normal to enjoy that kind of thing but I’ve let it go out of control. I always knew this was a problem to some degree because sometimes I’d ask myself “What if I never drew and therefore had no notoriety?” That kind of thinking would scare me and make me realize how much I’ve hinged my worth on my brand. 

I think the move here is to strongly distinguish work life from normal life. I think the reason I didn’t catch this sooner is because it’s hard to do it online, especially when I use the same username basically everywhere. I have to fabricate this new separation. I can start by changing my username on non-work related accounts. I can stop trying to make friends in art circles because it’s giga rare that I will make genuine connections with people that already know me and therefor have something to gain from me. 

This might be fun and I am excited for it. I’ve been saying for awhile that I believe in having multiple different identities in life. Most people achieve this without trying or thinking about it. They have an outside work life that they don’t associate with personal life. I used to have this when I would be a mute Shygal in VRchat. I was a different person then with different kinds of friends, all non furries too. I think detaching myself from my brand will be very healthy. 

There might be some awkward spots. Art in general is one. It is work but also something I genuinely enjoy. It kinda forces me to show my personal self during work time but this is unavoidable. There’s also no way to separate work art from personal art which has always been a problem. People intertwine the two and think I’m a psycho freak for drawing things people commissioned. 

[134340am]

about to fuckign lose it because i’ve taken too many Ls this week

[tropicalfield]

Harm Reduction Eating Disorder-Edition

The following post might be triggering, altough not intended. This list is a collection of my own tips, tips I found on tumblr and tips my doctors and therapists told me:

Always carry something with actual sugar in it with you. No, not a zero sugar candy but something with glucose. Take it if you feel dizzy/ feel like you are about to pass out.

Eat if you want to drive/ride! Doesn’t matter if you wanna go somewhere by car or by bicycle. You are putting yourself and others at risk! Don’t. Do. It. If you don’t wanna break your fast ask someone else to get you there or take the bus. If you really need to get there by your own you should eat s o m e t h i n g. Maybe your safe food or some fruit.

Don’t trust people that claim to be a coach! Someone who suffers from an eating disorder would never share tips to destroy yourself! Most of them are old man that try to get your nudes. Never ever send them pictures or give them personal information. If you need to vent or you need something just text me and I will listen.

You don’t need to restrict like crazy in order to lose weight. Check out your basal metabolic rate. This is the amount of calories your body burns by simply existing, like laying in bed all day and not moving an inch. You should not eat less than your basal metabolic rate.

If you are a minor, don’t tell anyone. Don’t put your age in your description. There are creepy people out here that are looking out for young girls that way.

I know going to the toilet can be a tough situation when you suffer from an eating disorder. Instead of using laxatives try out natural apple-juice or plum-juice, maybe even some dry fruits. You can also try out flaxseeds (drink water with it!) or maybe you want to take some magnesium.

You should take vitamins/ go to the doctor to check your vitamin levels.

That one is well known, but I want to mention that you shouldn’t brush your teeth after purging. Drink water or milk and wait 30-60 minutes before you brush your teeth. If you struggle with bulimia you should also invest into a good toothpaste and go to the dentist on a regular basis.

Don’t count calories when you binge. You will only make yourself feel bad by doing that. It is not helping you at all. Drink water or tea and lay down. If your tummy hurts you should put a pillow or something like that underneath your legs. This position will help your belly to relax.

Don’t go ‘all or nothing’. If you binged take some time to rest until you get better. Don’t go in even harder, because you think your day is already ruined. Don’t eat another bag of potato chips because “it doesn’t matter anymore and you already fucked up”. The brain is like a field. Everytime you binge you are leaving a trail. The more often you use this trail, the more wide beaten it will become. If you stop using the trail, grass will overgrow this path and it will be easier to make new, healthy habits. One day you will not even be able to tell where the path was. With that said, every single time you refuse to binge, you refuse to give in because “you already messed up” it will get easier to resist the next time you feel the cravings kick in.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Your Little Psycho

Pairing: Mafia!Sam Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~800

Warnings: none

Summary: Your mafia boyfriend takes you out for dinner when he sees a man staring at you in a not-so-innocent way. What he does next... doesn’t surprise you all that much.

Square Filled: free space (2021) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: this is based on a tiktok! here is the link. go follow the person who made the video!

It’s always nice to go out to dinner with your boyfriend whenever he has a chance to. He’s always so busy, but he will always make time for you because he will always put you first before anyone else. You two are out at your favorite restaurant in your town, and the fucker actually bought it for you. He bought a fucking restaurant for you so that you never have to pay when ever you come here to eat.

You tried telling him it’s not necessary, but he claims he has all this money to waste away, so why not spend it on you?

Sam Winchester is one of the biggest mafia bosses this town has ever seen. Scratch that, this country has ever seen. He’s rich beyond comparison, so he can do whatever he wants without anyone questioning his decisions. You kind of go along for the ride most times. If he buys out an entire city for you two, then you go with it. If he buys you a restaurant, then you enjoy the food. It’s annoying at times, but you know he does it out of love.

The only thing you wish you could change about him is his temper. He’s very intense and very violent, so whenever he loses his patience, someone is dying. He never does anything without reason, so if he kills someone, then you know they deserved it. Jealousy and possessiveness are also two qualities that Sam has. You’re clearly his, and if someone dares look at you the wrong way, then he will act out impulsively.

“Do you know what you want?” you ask him, looking at the menu.

“No.”

You know you shouldn’t have asked because he always tells the waiter/ess to surprise him with whatever they think is best. You don’t know what you want, so you’re looking at the vast array of options. You want something you’ve never tried before, so you’re tied between two options.

“Oh, Sam, Tessa’s birthday is coming up, and I’d really like it if I could take her to Paris or something. She’s always wanted to go shopping in an exotic country. Could we use your jet?”

“Y/N, I tell you this time and time again. What’s mine is yours. I think shopping in Paris is a great idea. When are you going?”

“In two weeks. I know I can use it, but I wouldn’t feel right if I took it without at least asking.”

You look up to see Sam staring at you like he’s been doing since you’ve sat down. You blush and are about to put the menu up to hide your face when his eyes shift from you to someone who is behind you. Instantly, his mood changes from good to bad. Sam knows what a man is thinking when he stares at an object of his desires. He knows the evil that he wishes he can do to you, and it’s not sitting well with him.

“What is it?” you go to turn, but he grabs your hand to stop you. You know exactly what is happening without having to look. “Let it go, Sam. It’s not a big deal.”

Sam is pissy for the next five minutes, moving his eyes from you to the creeper right behind you. You’re already putting it out of your mind, and when you decide on an item, you look at your boyfriend.

“Sam, let it go. I know what I want to order.”

“Good. Order for the both of us. I don’t care what I have. I’m going to use the restroom.”

He gets up without another word just as our waitress gets to the table. You sigh and think about following after him, but decide against it. You shake your head and place two orders in, handing back the menus to the waitress. You’re only alone for ten more minutes before Sam comes back in a much better mood along with the food.

“Why were you gone for so long?” you ask when the waitress leaves.

“My tummy hurt,” he says innocently, but you know that’s a fucking lie.

“Bullshit,” you mumble and take a sip of your wine.

You both dig into your food happily, enjoying each other’s presence quietly. You’re only three bites in when you hear a loud thump come from behind you. You turn to see the man who had been oogling you now face down on his plate of food.

“Samuel,” you hiss, turning back to your boyfriend.

“What?” he groans in annoyance.

He hates being called his full name by you, but you do it when he’s in trouble.

“What did you do to him?”

“I paid the waiter to poison the fucker,” he grins.

“Honey, you can't just kill anyone who looks at me wrong,” you whisper so others don’t hear.

“If you knew what he was thinking, you’d want him dead too. I love you, Y/N, and I will do anything to protect you.”

“You know, you’re a child sometimes.”

“You love it.”

You two go back to eating as if your boyfriend didn’t just kill someone. He’s a psycho sometimes, but he’s your psycho.

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[tinywitchgoblin]

Favorite Body Parts

a/n: all bodies are beautiful, and all body parts are beautiful!! This is just what I think the boys would be more turned on by. also, I have an infection in my right index finger, which is making typing anything a pain in the ass, so if this is rough, I’m sorry

Warnings: NSFW, minors be gone!!!, swearing, sex things, idk

Tech

-I feel like tech is a titty guy

-like, a lot

-no matter how big/small they are, he loves playing with your tits whenever the two of you are alone

-when the two of you are sleeping together, he’ll nestle his head underneath your chin and use your titties as pillows

-when you’re being intimate, he definitely gets turned on my cumming on your tits

-or fucking them

-or licking whipped cream off of them

-Just… tech + tits

Hunter

-I feel like he doesn’t have an enormous preference, but if he absolutely had to choose, he’d probably choose ass over tits

-he just,,, likes to feel the squish

-some days, he’ll go for your tits, other days, your ass

-some days, he just goes for whatever he can get his hands on

-he loves to have you sit on his lap

-it doesn’t even need to be sexual, he just likes to be able to hold you while you’re getting stuff done

Crosshair

-1000% an ass guy

-I can’t explain it, he just gives off really strong ass energy

-he’ll smack your ass as you’re walking by

-if you’re bent over doing something, he’ll grab a cheek, no hesitation

-like Hunter, he enjoys when you sit on his lap, but for him, it usually ends up being sexual

-during sex, he loves doing it doggy style so he can spank you as many times as he wants (with your consent, of course)

-sometimes, you’ll return the favor, but he sees that as a competition, and we all know how crosshair feels about competition

-he wins, and you can’t sit straight for a week

Echo

-he loves all of the body parts

-because of what happened on skako minor, he realized the importance of cherishing the body

-he loves to worship your body so much

-especially during sex, but in other times as well

-& he’s always so romantic about it!!

-if you’re wearing a shirt/dress with an open back, he’ll comment on how lovely your back looks 

-sometimes, he’ll grab your hand and run his fingers over your knuckles, not paying attention to anything or anyone else

-I love him so much okay!!

Wrecker

-he gives off really strong thigh/tummy vibes

-he’s not a subtle guy, and that carries over to how he shows you his love

-he loves grabbing your thighs whenever they’re in reach

-at the shooting range? grab

-eating food? grab

-sitting/laying down next to him? grab

-like Hunter, he just loves the squish!

-if you’re plus-size like me, Wrecker would absolutely l o v e your body and tell you that you look amazing

-if you struggle with body dysmorphia, he would hold you, look you in the eye, and say that you are beautiful, your body is beautiful, and that you shouldn’t listen to the mean voices in your head

-I can definitely see him taking an evening to hold you and show his love to you, just because he feels like it

*

*

*

My fuckin finger hurts

[sickstarlight]

different causes of sickness

a friend had asked me for some advice on how I write differences between different types of sickness or reasons someone could get sick! so I typed up a reference of details I try to keep in mind in my writing. not by any means meant to be comprehensive but these are some of the more common things I see used or use myself!

eta: if you found this interesting or useful consider tipping me on kofi (/jallyns) or getting a $5 commission so I can fix my computer

drinking related:

drank too much: everyone’s threshold for this is going to be different obvs both in terms of how much alcohol they need and how wasted they’re able/willing to be before getting sick. also ime you have to be QUITE drunk for being drunk alone to make you sick, to the point where it may be dangerous, so personally I like this combined with something else - motion, something not sitting right in their stomach, etc - but it can be good otherwise too. probably the first thing the character will notice or be aware of if they have any warning is that being drunk stops feeling good at this point. they might feel flushed and/or clammy and will probably feel dizzy, their mouth might feel really dry depending on what they’ve been drinking. this is probably also the point where they recognize they have limited control of their body, feet might feel too heavy to move or head might be spinning, may feel very clumsy and suddenly become AWARE of it.

they might FEEL motion sick even if they’re not moving too because their motion sense is fucked at this point. might feel heavy but this is likely to be a whole body heaviness NOT just their stomach (though they might be very aware of it); might or might not be able to place the feeling of nausea. maybe burping but it depends on what they’ve been drinking (carbonated or not, mixed with soda, etc) and what else they ate! they MIGHT feel okay after throwing up but their friend probably shouldn’t let them drink anymore even if they do.

also this might come with very little warning, they may go from feeling fine and giggling with their friends to suddenly feeling Wrong to hurling all over the floor in a matter of minutes or even a few seconds. if they have friends with them who have been with them drunk regularly, depending on who’s more sober their friends might notice they look unsteady and/or queasy before they realize they don’t feel well.

other good things here: alcohol that tastes so strong it’s all they can taste when they throw it back up, feeling dizzy but not placing it as nauseous right away, feeling like their head is too heavy to lift. reeling on their feet when a drink hits them too hard and feeling the whole room spin.

drank too quickly - more likely to come on SUPER suddenly, but they’ll probably recognize it right away (unless they’ve already been drinking) because the alcohol hasn’t had time to get to their brain yet. so with gradually drinking more than they should they will get drunk first and THEN get sick, but if they drink too much too fast right off the bat they’ll start to feel some effects probably but they’ll also know pretty quick that their drinks aren’t gonna stay down.

hung over - throwing up from a hangover is a combination of a buildup of alcohol byproducts in the stomach, and the stomach lining being irritated + producing more acid. a headache is also a significant part of the misery of a hangover but (unlike a migraine, where the pain directly leads to vomiting) isn’t necessarily related to any queasiness, so the headache might get worse with sound, light, or movement, but their stomach likely won’t. they might feel a little like they have heartburn (or actually GET some acid reflux) from acid buildup, and their stomach might be sore or feel too warm as well as being upset. 

the only real cure for a hangover is slow sips of clear fluids and bland foods to help settle the stomach and reduce the acid, but lots of people swear by other things - certain kinds of foods, drinking more alcohol, etc, so that’s something you can have fun with! depending on how much alcohol is still in their bloodstream, they might also still feel a little drunk/tipsy and have some issues with their balance, thinking clearly, etc, which could make the nausea worse; also some people might always get sick from hangovers but others might not so consider how your character deals with that! They also might wake up sick, or feel sick right away, or might not feel sick at all until trying to get some fluids or take meds for their headache (especially since ibuprofen/aspirin also irritate the stomach lining).

food related:

ate too much -  character will likely feel bloated and tight, food might feel heavy in their stomach. depending on what they’re stuffed with there might be burping esp if there’s a lot of gas in their stomach, or a lot of gagging and unproductive dry heaving if it’s very heavy/solid. might need to drink something to get anything up, or have help from someone, or might just take a while to finally puke as their overstuffed stomach struggles to break down their meal enough that their stretched out muscles can get anything moving. any firm pressure on the stomach is gonna feel worse and likely to make them gag even if they’re not ready to throw up yet. maybe weak strained tummy noises as they try to digest. (side note if a lot of their stomach contents are liquid like soup, drinks, etc they’ll throw that up a lot faster; also a good excuse to discuss sloshing/jostling/swirling around in their tummy)

ate too quickly - ties in well to eating too much since it’s easy eating in a hurry to not realize you’re full until it’s already a little late - eating or drinking anything too fast can also make some people’s stomachs hurt or get upset in general, and is an easy way to end up swallowing a lot of air which can obviously lead to feeling much more full and tight with lots of burping that could easily bring up more!

ate something bad - this could be rotten, poorly prepared, or just something that upsets their stomach but what it is might change the feeling of it so there’s definitely variety here. probably also feels heavy but more localized, like they can feel the specific food they ate and where it’s settled in their stomach. might also be painful and cause cramping and tenderness. imo nausea from this is more likely to come in waves and recede but might also be more readily recognizable as nausea. some things I like in this scenario - character thinking about what they ate and feeling worse, imagining they can feel individual parts of their food in their stomach, burping and tasting what they ate (possibly noticing the taste having gone sour / etc in their stomach). good place to describe stuff like how greasy smt was/feeling the grease coating their stomach, or otherwise talk about the specific way the food feels in their tummy and how much it makes them want to puke. unlike with eating too much, they’re likely not to feel better until ALL of the offending food is out of their stomach (while with overeating, they may throw up a few times and then start to feel better once there’s less pressure on their stomach).

general notes - if something the character ate is what’s making them feel sick, a lot of focus on hyperawareness of how much food is in their stomach/how heavy it feels are gonna be big sensory things (as well as maybe taste, pressure/tightness, stomach contents moving around)

illness

appendicitis - if you’re looking for something more serious than food poisoning or a stomach bug, this is sure to end up with a character in the hospital as they’ll need surgery! the big distinguishing thing is pain, which will be sharp and located on the lower right side of the abdomen (or may start near the navel and move down). any kind of exertion or sudden muscle movement can make the pain worse. if the character or one of their caretakers is knowledgeable and suspects appendicitis, they might do the rebound test, which causes pain to get drastically worse AFTER placing pressure on the area and releasing it. sickness usually begins after the pain starts and may get worse when something exacerbates the pain as well.

in addition to nausea and vomiting, other symptoms can include fever, bloating, and bowel issues (either diarrhea or constipation), which will usually get worse over the course of the infection. if the character is treated soon enough (within 2-3 days) they’ll usually feel better after surgery and recover relatively quickly, but if they’re not seen by a doctor and the appendix ruptures they’ll likely need more extensive treatment including antibiotics and a longer hospital stay to make sure they won’t develop sepsis. (in some cases, symptoms could seem to suddenly go away when the appendix ruptures because it releases pressure, but worse symptoms would rapidly develop!)

rarely, there’s also such thing as chronic appendicitis, where milder symptoms may appear and recede over the course of weeks or months before developing into acute appendicitis and prompting surgery.

coughs, colds, strep, etc - can all cause vomiting as secondary symptoms thanks to postnasal drip, throat irritation, or forceful coughing. serious enough throat irritation or buildup of mucus can make a character gag, or feel the need to, and so can coughing up phlegm from their chest. if they’re sniffly and have their sinuses draining down the back of their throat, they may end up swallowing a lot of mucus too which can make them feel nauseous as their stomach gets full of sticky snot. I think these work best as emeto scenarios for characters with weak gag reflexes!

food poisoning - separate from eating something bad because food poisoning from a virus or bacteria is a longer lasting illness with a later onset; the character may first get sick within a few hours of eating the contaminated food, or it may incubate and make them sick within a day or two. like stomach flu (also frequently foodborne) many types can cause both vomiting and diarrhea, but symptoms vary depending on specific cause. characters also might puke early on and then develop more symptoms and become sicker later as bacteria multiply and produce toxins, and may take several days to recover from the later onset where they could have persistent nausea, or might feel okay and even regain their appetite if they don’t try to eat  but be unable to keep much or any food down. most types of food poisoning also cause pain, swelling, bloating, and cramping, usually in the lower part of the stomach and upper intestines, so those are other symptoms your character might have to deal with in addition to puking!

stomach flu - character may be feverish or achy as well as nauseous while their body fights the infection, which is an additional great source of hurt/comfort fuel! can cause both vomiting and diarrhea, so even food they manage to keep down might still sting them later. because it directly causes irritation and inflammation in the stomach and lower GI tract, character might throw up frequently or after every meal, or might be able to handle clear fluids but no solids, or some bland foods but nothing with significant sugar, spices, or fat. they also might only be able to drink or eat in very small amounts without bringing it back up. their stomach may hurt and feel like it’s cramping even if they haven’t tried to eat, and they may get only very brief relief of nausea after each time they’re sick because it reduces the immediate pressure on the stomach but not the inflammation; they might feel nauseous constantly or end up dry heaving even when there’s nothing in their stomach, and might need to keep a basin of some kind nearby for a couple of days since they can’t be sure if they’re done. dehydration is a common complication and can cause headaches, weakness, and dizziness in addition to other symptoms! the most common stomach virus, norovirus, is also EXTREMELY contagious, and virus particles can aerosolize and scatter widely during vomiting, so the caretaker may not be safe either.

injury, other medical

anaesthesia - people react to this in all kinds of ways but getting sick is really common so it can be combined with just about any reaction. character might be disoriented or dizzy and have trouble with balance, walking, other coordinated movement. some might be really confused and have trouble communicating their ideas clearly or say things that might not make any sense to other characters. from the anaesthetized character’s perspective though they’re  probably making total sense so it can also be fun to include their muddled thought process and what they’re feeling or thinking that they express in weird ways! other characters might feel pretty clearheaded and be able to communicate clearly though. they might feel “light” or like they're floating, or very  detached from their body; this may cause more dizziness and vertigo. they may also be cold they might feel nauseous right away and persistently from the anaesthetic irritating their stomach, or might only get sick from moving that makes the “floating” feeling worse. general anaesthetic is usually used for surgery so if they aren’t immediately nauseous the character can also wake up really hungry from fasting before, so eating too much or too quickly might also make them realize they’re nauseous and end up with them puking.

concussion - there are a lot of reasons someone might get sick from a concussion, but the most common (non threatening) are vertigo / vestibular disturbance and headaches! the character might  get nauseous or throw up when they turn too quickly or stand up too fast if their balance center is disrupted, or might have head pain similar to a migraine that makes them sick and can have similar sensitivities. mild concussions without other complications can still last up to a week after the injury, but the character should get sick less and less often as time goes on, so the most intense phase for sickness caused by a concussion is shortly after it happens! Frequently repeated or prolonged bouts of vomiting are often signs of more serious injury though, so if you’re keeping it mild they should probably be brief and a little spaced out even early on, though a character might have intermittent nausea between them. other symptoms of concussion are important too here - big ones are short term amnesia, loss of coordination, difficulty concentrating, and confusion. they might also hear ringing in their ears or sometimes have visual disturbances like in migraines! 

migraine - the pain from migraines can directly cause vomiting, especially when it’s at its peak, but it might also be caused by aura effects on balance and vision! (some people get tunnel vision or “kaleidoscope” vision with migraines, some just get dizzy, some people even hallucinate strong smells or tastes which could also lead to nausea!) for some people, the headache gets better after throwing up, but not everyone; they also might or might not feel the buildup of nausea or persistent nausea throughout their migraine, or alternately might retch or throw up almost IMMEDIATELY when any trigger makes their pain worse (common triggers are bright or flashing light, loud or high pitched sounds, strong smells, and sudden movement, but people have lots of different triggers so they can be a lot of things!) many people can’t chase off a migraine until after they’ve slept so you might also include them trying to get comfortable only to have their head start hurting worse or their stomach get upset and make them scramble to get over the trash bin.

motion sickness - anyone can get motion sick but some people are more prone to it than others! so you might have characters who always get motion sick in any moving vehicle, or who are okay in cars but can’t travel on water, or who only get sick with intense movement like on roller coasters - or characters who aren’t prone to motion sickness in general, but discover they get it when fatigued, anxious, etc. different characters might also experience it differently - for some there may be a cycle of gradual buildup of nausea until it becomes unbearable and they throw up, while for others it might come on suddenly, or they might have low level nausea throughout a trip but only puke when there’s a more sudden or violent movement. some people also only get motion sick after a period of time, and might be fine on short trips but get sick if they’re traveling longer.

other notes: many people who get carsick don’t get sick if they’re driving! being able to get fresh air also helps many people, as well as focusing on the horizon if possible. some people prone to motion sickness will also experience the opposite when sitting still but watching movement onscreen like in a video game. likewise, reading or looking at a still object for long while moving can trigger motion sickness, even in people who are less prone to it otherwise.

[elysianslove]

eHm can you pls write some fluffy iwaizumi mini hcs?

can i ever,,, ugh yes. suna’s version here! 

↬ when the two of you first started dating, iwaizumi didn’t kiss you for a very long time. at first it seemed like he was just hesitant, or being respectful, trying to let you set the pace for intimacy instead. he admitted later to you, though, that he hadn’t had his first kiss yet, and it wasn’t that he wasn’t sure about sharing it with you, it was more that he was so sure that he wanted you to be his first that he couldn’t afford any mess up. he was shy. to his relief, you didn’t rush him at all, and instead found different ways to show your affection to him. 

↬ which leads to my point of iwaizumi adoring cheek kisses. for a good couple of months, you still hadn’t shared your first kiss, so you resorted to similar displays of affection, like cheek kisses. he found himself so comfortable with the feel of you reaching up, leaning on his shoulder with both hands as you press a kiss to his cheek. it’s his favorite public display of affection. because of its significance (in relation to your respect towards him, and the fact that you’d gone out of your way to find different ways to show your affection), cheek kisses hold a special place in his heart. nothing makes his heart beat as fast as when you grab his jaw in a fit of happiness and press a long, wet kiss on his cheek. against all odds, it makes him smile a smile unlike any other, and the blush that taints his cheeks and spreads along his nose and to the tips of his ears is a gift on its own. 

↬ wait that reminds me!! iwaizumi cannot lie, like whatsoever. if it’s very, very necessary, like to protect his friends or to cover for them or to protect a surprise planned, then maybe. but otherwise, he’s very obvious. now it’s more obvious to people closer to him than others, because if you focus enough, his ears tend to twitch a little when he’s lying, and it’s literally the cutest thing ever. because he’ll have this very serious face on, trying to spew out a lie, and then his ears twitch and he’s done for. 

↬ iwaizumi is a really good gift giver, because no one pays attention the way he does. and even if he barely knows anything about the person, he somehow can pick out something they like very well. his gifts tend to be more sentimental, and when it comes to receiving, he’s so bad at — saying thank you? at receiving them? he just gets all red and fidgety and starts saying things like, “you really shouldn’t have,” and, “why would you spend your money on me?” please someone sugar mama/daddy him.

↬ it doesn’t matter if you can drive or not, iwaizumi will never ever let you. he insists on driving, no matter how tired he is. he always plays your favorite music, and he talks to you the whole ride. like he loves to have you leaning close to him on your elbow, chin tucked in your palm, and the two of you are just chatting. 

↬ which leads me to this: iwaizumi loves your voice. he can hear you talk for hours, genuinely. maybe it stems from the fact that he prefers to listen, but really, you can find him at any point in time, at any hour of the day, listening to you speak. he loves to come home to you and listen to you tell him about your day as you two eat, or calling you in the middle of the day just to check in on each other, or having you send him voice notes instead of text messages, or videos instead of pictures. he just loves to hear you, in general. it genuinely elicits this really warm feeling in his chest that he can never get enough of. 

↬ if you wear makeup often, iwaizumi loves to take it off for you. he spends a lot of time watching you when you’re both doing your nightly routines, so at some point, he just asks if he can do it for you instead. he wants to practice, he says, so that one day you can leave it completely up to him. he finds it so intimate, the vulnerability and trust of it all. he’s seen you without makeup, of course, and he thinks you’re really beautiful with and without it, but there’s nothing purer to his heart than the trust you put in him to let him take your makeup off for you. he’s really gentle at first, because there’s this irrational fear that he’s gonna hurt you somehow. if you wear fake lashes, he literally winces as he takes them off it’s adorable. but after he’s wiped it all off, and grabs a damp towel to wash off the excess and the residue, he just leans over and presses a kiss to the tip of your nose or to your lips and smiles softly. 

↬ iwaizumi is a sucker for the little domestic moments the two of you share. it literally might be his favorite thing ever. like the two of you washing the dishes together, you’re cleaning and he’s drying? or doing the laundry together? or cleaning up your messy room together, and each of you grab the ends of the blanket and lift it up to spread it over the mattress neatly? or grocery shopping together, with him trying to ignore the incredibly unhealthy choices you’ve decided to toss into the shopping cart? or him passing by your work as he comes home from his to take the two of you together? or renovating your home together, and you’re covered in paint and dust? or ordering breakfast as you lay in bed because you’re too lazy, and then eating said breakfast still in bed because you’re still lazy? or the way you walk into the bathroom while he showers to wash your face and brush your teeth and the two of you just talk? or the random pictures you send him throughout the day, maybe of a weird cloud or a pretty sunset, with a little smiley face after? or the way his family loves you, so much? the way his mother personally texts you to check in on you, to tell you to come over, to just catch up? because you’re a part of the family now? 

in conclusion, hajime wants to marry you. 

↬ he loves building things for you. like iwaizumi loves the way you just hand him the instruction manual exasperated, and he just sighs with a grin and sits by you. he’s so good at it too! and he always does it shirtless too. it’s mostly for your viewing pleasure :) 

↬ when you two go on vacation, iwaizumi’s  always setting rules like “we need to be up by 7 am to enjoy the day” and sets alarms and all, but sleeps through all of them. you end up the only one awake. he’s just on vacation mode <//3 

↬ always puts your phone in the charger if you forget before you sleep. 

↬ iwaizumi becomes cuddlier after he falls asleep. like he lets you cuddle up to him as you’re both falling asleep, but when you wake up before him, you literally won’t be able to get up, because he’s going to be half on top of you. and if you try to wake him up, he just sticks more to you. it’s so endearing, really it is, because he looks so adorable with his cheek squished to your chest like that, and his mouth slightly parted. not when it’s a battle between you and your bladder though </3

↬ loves wearing your thighs as ear muffs. like iwaizumi adores just having you lay there, and him coming around to lay between your legs, slinging them over his shoulders and locking your ankles. can literally lay there for hours. 

↬ if you ask for socks because your feet are cold, he’ll give you his. don’t ask him why he just does. 

↬ loves to hug you after a very long day. like he just groups you in his arms and holds you there as you go, “long day?” and he replies, “yeah.” then he asks, “long day?” and you go, “yeah.” and the two of you just stand there for a while, before he kisses the top of your head and leads the two of you to get into comfier clothes. 

↬ he prefers showering with you over baths, just cause he likes to get on his knees as you’re scrubbing at his hair and kissing your tummy. he doesn’t know why he loves it as much but he does, especially the way you laugh after. it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love baths as well, especially if he’s extremely tired. there is the issue of convincing him to get out, but just drain the water and watch the goosebumps raid his skin and he’ll leave. 

↬ loves it when you sit on his lap when you’re in public, especially in gatherings with a lot of his friends. he doesn’t do it out of possessiveness or jealousy, he just likes it when you’re so open and comfortable about everyone knowing you’re with him, as his partner and significant other. nothing having to do with insecurity either. he just loves it. loves the way you lean into him, and the way your waist feels against his hand, and the way you talk in slightly hushed tones to each other. 

↬ basically, when iwaizumi loves, he loves with his entire heart <3 

this literally made my entire day, i loved writing these so much. iwa has such a special place in my heart i love him so much <333 also i hope everyone enjoys these as well; love you all, mwah <333 

[xtrrdnrypotato]

Bakugo x chubby reader

Katsuki Bakugo x chubby! female reader

TW: fluff, language, reader is insecure of her figure,

Note: This is my first piece so please go easy on me if I didn’t portray everything exactly. This is also a part of @heart-shaped-cheerios collab event, so go check her out. Also, I hope this fic makes you less insecure with yourself because whatever shape, form or size you are, you are perfect and you're the only one who can do you. Also, if some of the lines sound familiar to you, that's probably because I took some inspiration from Yagami Yato hehe anyways I hope you enjoy

WC: 2.7 k

You stared longingly at Bakugo again for the umpteenth time, your food untouched.

"Y/n!" your friend, Mina, called again, and your attention snapped to her.

"Oh, sorry, what was it?" you asked her, and you swore she looked so close to facepalming herself.

"I said, you still haven't touched your food. Quit daydreaming about Bakugo and start eating!" she said, almost yelled, and you shushed her quickly.

"Shh! Mina, don't talk too loud or he might hear you," you said, glancing quickly at the said boy to make sure his attention wasn't on you guys. Mina sighed exasperatedly.

"Y/n, how many times have I told you, just tell him your feelings. This is our last year in UA. If you don't tell him now how you feel, you may never get the chance to do so," she said, softer this time and you sighed.

"I know, but, you know how I feel about myself," you answered, looking down at your body. "And besides, he's probably not even in the slightest bit interested in me," you added as you took a bite off of your food.

"Hey, you never know! Who knows, maybe secretly, he's also daydreaming about you when you're not looking." You could clearly hear the mischief in her tone and you shook your head.

"Yeah right, as if," you mumbled as you kept eating, unaware of the vermilion eyes staring at you with a somewhat doting look.

It was your dreaded time of the day again. Training. You hated it when it's time for training, hated it when you don your hero costume, hated how you're fully aware you probably look round as hell in it, and hated the fact that Bakugo has to see you in it. But seeing Bakugo in his hero costume somehow made your hatred for training a little more bearable. You were so caught up in your thoughts that you almost missed it when Aizawa-sensei announced that you would have to go against Bakugo. Almost.

"Wait, what?!" you gasped as soon as you realized what your teacher said.

"Is there any problem?" Aizawa asked sternly and you gulped, shaking your head.

"N-none, sir."

"Good. Now, everyone, get ready," he said.

"Mina, Mina, Mina! I'm going up against Bakugo," you said to your best friend, clinging to her arm frantically. She immediately looked at you.

"Wait, really?"

"Yes! Oh, what do I do, what do I do?" you panicked as you thought of ways on how to avoid making yourself look like a complete and utter fool.

"Relax. Everything's going to be fine. Just, try not to look like a fool and do your best. Don't think of him as Bakugo, your crush. For now, think of him as Bakugo, someone you have to go against," Mina said as she rubbed your shoulders to help you calm down and that seemed to do the trick. With a deep breath, you nodded and smiled.

"You're right! Thanks, Mina," you said.

"Welcome, now go and get ready. You're up for one heck of a training," she grinned and you rolled your eyes playfully, thanking her once again before leaving to get ready.

Meanwhile, Bakugo watched as you started getting ready.

"Oi, Bakugo, quit staring at Y/n and get yourself ready," Denki teased, flustering the spiky haired blonde.

"Shut up! I'm not staring at her!" he denied as he geared himself up. Denki and Kirishima glanced at each other with a knowing look, before bursting into laughter. Bakugo looked at them with furrowed brows.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?!" he demanded. His eyes suddenly widened as Kirishima put an arm around him.

"Come on, Bakugo, no need to deny! We all do that, you're not alone," Kirishima said, to which Denki agreed.

"Yeah, dude! I always do that to Jiro," he said with a shit-eating grin. Bakugo looked at them incredulously before shaking off Kirishima's arm around him.

"Shut up, both of you!" He was about to deny more when Sero suddenly entered.

"Yeah, if you look closely, Bakugo's a bit softer with Y/n," he casually stated as he put on his helmet. Bakugo's eyes widened once more before he let out an exasperated groan and pushed his friends out of the way.

No, can't be. I'm not softer with her. Tsk, damn Soy Sauce Face.

"Next up, Katsuki Bakugo and Y/n L/n!" you heard Aizawa announce and you stood up nervously, sparing one last glance at Mina, who nodded firmly. With a sigh, you headed to the center of the gym.

"Good luck, Bakugo," you smiled at him and he responded with a simple tsk, before getting in position. As soon as you heard the signal to start, you immediately backed away from Bakugo, activating your quirk just in time for one of his explosions. You quickly attempted to kick his leg to knock him off balance, but he easily avoided your attack and landed an explosion on your back, sending you to the ground. Wiping the dirt off of your face, you stood up and decided to lunge at him. He easily avoided your attacks, until you managed to find an opening. As you were about to punch him, he suddenly grabbed one of your hands and flung you to the ground, face first. You could feel your stomach growling from lack of food this morning, but you still willed yourself to stand up and brace for one more attack. However, just as you were to get up, you felt your knees weakening and before you knew it, you fell to the ground, stomach hurting too much for you to make a move.

Bakugo was determined to prove to his friends that he wasn't soft for anyone, especially not with you, but as soon as he saw your knees starting to buckle, his determined look suddenly softened until he saw you on the ground, seemingly crumpling in pain. He stood there at first, shocked and unable to comprehend what happened, before he walked to you and started lifting you up.

You were curled up on the ground in pain, hands clutching your growling tummy, when you suddenly felt someone starting to carry you. You were just about to open your mouth to protest when you saw the face of the one carrying you.

"B-Bakugo?!" You gasped. He simply ignored you and started walking towards the door and you started freaking out internally. Oh shit, I'm heavy, I'm heavy!!

"Bakugo, put me down! This is embarrassing!" You hissed at him but he still looked completely unmoved.

"Bakugo, put me the hell down! I'm too heavy!" You complained again as you started thinking of ways on how to free yourself from him when he suddenly glared at you.

"Shut up, damn brat. Are you underestimating me?" he asked and you shook your head. Never did it once cross your mind to underestimate him.

"Good. Then shut up and let me do this," he said and you said no more, remaining silent until you reached the infirmary.

You couldn't help but wince as Recovery Girl kissed your cheek. Bakugo brought you to the infirmary, then left as soon as the old healing lady attended to you.

"You children, obsessed with being skinny and all. Look at what you're doing to yourselves," the woman reprimanded you as you remained silent. The silence was soon broken though when your best friend Mina entered the room.

"Y/n!! I was so worried about you. What happened? Are you okay?" she asked consecutively as she ran by your side. You waved her off with a laugh.

“Yes, I’m fine, don’t worry,” she answered with a smile. Mina seemed relieved with your answer, but her frown remained.

“Now, woman, you have some explaining to do to me. Why are you starving yourself?” she asked sternly and your smile slowly dissipated.

“How’d you know?” you murmured, avoiding your friend’s eyes. You heard her audibly gasp.

“So you are starving yourself. God, why Y/n?” she asked, sounding both exasperated and concerned. You remained silent, ashamed of yourself.

“Y/n, come on, answer me!”

“Because I want to be like you guys! You all have the ideal bodies, slim and curvy, while here’s my chubby ass. So I thought, maybe I could try starving myself so I could be more like you guys,” you retorted as you tried to hold back the tears threatening to leave your eyes.

Bakugo was about to enter your room when he heard another voice from inside. Tsk, Raccoon-eyes. Still, instead of leaving, he decided to stay outside the door, eavesdropping on the conversation. Tsk, I shouldn’t be here, he thought to himself despite what he’s currently doing. What he heard next though was something he never thought you’d say.

Mina gaped at you, aghast before she suddenly hugged you.

"What are you talking about, silly? You don't have to be like us, Y/n. Yes, you may be chubby, but that’s part of your charm,” she said in an attempt to comfort her.

“No, I..of course it’s easy for you to say that. Look at you,” you pouted, motioning to her slim pink body.

“I’m pink. Yes, I’m slim, but I’m pink. Despite how my body shape looks, I’m still pink, unlike you and Uraraka and others. But you guys still befriended me, right?” she asked and you nodded.

“Of course! I mean, you may be pink but you’re fun to talk to, and you’re nice,” you added, which made her smile sheepishly.

“You really think so?” she asked teasingly before bursting into giggles. Staring at her, you couldn’t help but snicker as well.

“But kidding aside, now you get my point?” Mina asked as she stopped laughing. Wiping the corner of your eye, you nodded.

“I guess?” you answered with a slight grin. Mina looked at you with an “are you serious” look and you giggled.

“Well, I think that’s the best I can get from you for now. But once you’re out of here, I’m going to whip you into shape! And I don’t mean physically! Got it?” she asked in a bossy tone, her hands on her hips. Your slight grin turned into a full fledged smile and you nodded. Mina’s serious yet playful look softened and she hugged you once again, before finally leaving you alone in the clinic.

Mina shook her head as she closed the clinic door behind her.

“She’s always so stubborn,” she muttered to herself. When she looked up, she was surprised to see Bakugo.

“Oh, Bakugo, are you visiting Y/n?” she asked. He didn’t answer, which made her grin.

“She’s up, don’t worry. Get in there, I know she’s also looking for you,” she added and the blonde looked at her with an inquisitive brow raised as Mina held her hands up in surrender and moved out of the way. With a tsk, Bakugo was about to enter when Mina talked again.

“You should probably tell her how you feel already. It’s starting to get out of hand, you know,” she teased. She can obviously see him tense up, before letting out a low growl and opening the door, quickly closing the door behind him, making Mina chuckle.

Your eyes were closed as you pondered your best friend’s words when you heard the door open.

“Mina, I thought-” you were cut short when you saw Bakugo enter. You quickly straightened and cleared your throat.

“H-hey, Bakugo,” you said with an awkward laugh.

“Wh-what are..you doing here?” you asked, seeing as he didn’t respond to your first statement. He remained silent and you were starting to get annoyed by his behavior.

“Seriously, why are you-”

“How are you?” he cut you short and you closed your mouth before responding again.

“I-I’m good. Recovery Girl told me I can go out by today, I just need to take a small rest,” you answered and he nodded thoughtfully. You tried to look for more things to say, but couldn’t find any and so you decided to shut up.

“I..” Bakugo said before pausing quickly, as if hesitating what to say next. He cleared his throat before talking again.

“I..overheard what you and Mina were talking about earlier,” he stated and you looked at him, eyes wide before shaking yourself off.

“You did?” you asked and he simply nodded. Great, now you’re probably thinking of how pathetic I am, you couldn’t help but think.

“Why?” he asked, breaking your train of thoughts.

“Wh-what do you mean..why?”

“Why would you try to change yourself? Why would you do such a thing to the point that it almost got you in trouble?” he asked, and you were pretty sure you could hear concern in his voice. You remained quiet though, embarrassed as you looked down to your hands.

“Why?” he repeated himself, firmer this time and you looked up at him.

“So you’d take a second glance at me!” you shot back and he furrowed his brows, as if he didn’t understand what you meant.

“I did that..so you know, you would notice me,” you paused, considering your words before resuming. “I’ve liked you for some time now, Bakugo, but I thought..you wouldn’t notice me or take a second glance at me, because of how I look. Because, let’s be honest, I pale in comparison with the other girls in our class. So I tried being like them, so maybe you’d like me back,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes. He remained speechless for a long time, and you sighed. You’ve only made a fool of yourself.

“Look, I know it sounds pathetic, so could you please just leave me-”

“Idiot,” he mumbled and you looked at him, aghast.

“Excuse me?” you asked, incredulous. After that confession, he’d just call you an idiot?!

“You’re an idiot. You’re an idiot for thinking that you need to be like them in order for me to like you. You’re an idiot for thinking that I wouldn’t take a second glance at you because of how you look. You’re an idiot for even thinking that I didn’t like you in the first place,” he added and you looked at him, confused.

“Wha-? What are you talking about?” you asked him, visibly confused.

“You really are a dumbass, huh?”

“One more insult and I’ll kick you out.”

“How could you not notice? All my friends have been telling me that I’ve been so obvious, but I guess I wasn’t obvious enough,” he answered and you only gaped at him, even more lost.

“What do you mean “obvious”? What the hell are you talking about?” you asked, starting to get annoyed.

“I like you, dumbass!” he finally yelled and your eyes widened, taken aback. He saw your shocked expression and decided to continue.

“I like you because you’re cheerful, you’re smart, you’re kind, you’re helpful. I like you because you still manage to smile even after all the insults you get from others. I like you because you’re you. So when I heard that you were starving yourself because you wanted to look like the others, I knew I had to do something. You don’t need to be like them for me to notice you, because it’s you who I like. I wouldn’t like you if you were like them. And I don’t care if you think you’re too fat or too chubby or whatever because to me, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And you just need to see that,” he said, the words flowing out of him so effortlessly. When he looked at you, he could see tears in your eyes again.

“Tsk, making me say stuff like that,” he said and before you knew it, he pulled you in a hug.

“So don’t go trying to change yourself, okay? If you really want to, I’d respect that. But do it for yourself. Not because you want to be like someone else, but because you want to be you. Got it?” he said as he hugged you tightly and you couldn’t help but tear up more.

“Are you saying this because it’s what you really mean, or because you just pity me?” you asked with a slight laugh.

“Shut up, dumbass. You know I don’t do things half-assed, and I wouldn’t say all this stuff if it’s just out of pity, so you better appreciate it,” he mumbled and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I do appreciate it,” you answered and you swear you could feel him smile.

“Good. Now shut up..and let me hug you,” he said, holding you tighter and at that moment, you knew you couldn’t be any happier.

[officerjennie]

Title: As the Clouds Whisp Overhead

Summary: Jaskier gets off on Geralt's soft thighs and tummy. Literally. Geralt relaxes back and lets him, enjoying the show. Weight gain spoken of positively. Pairing: Geraskier. WC: 3.5K+

CW: smut, brief mention of weight loss due to difficult times (past)

It had been a rather easy spring, all things considered.

Geralt lazed in the field, not really watching the clouds that drifted overhead, his eyes closed and breaths deepening into an almost meditative state. The smell of wine and cheese was almost drowned out by the wildflowers about them but it was still there, as was the scent of apples, salt, the road, and the lingering oils that Jaskier had insisted on wearing ever since he’d discovered Geralt’s nose was sensitive to the others that he used to reek of.

Said bard was currently shuffling their lunch about, putting most of it away for later, humming one of his newest tunes as he folded back up the blanket he’d apparently bought for just this occasion. Though they’d eaten plenty of meals without it or the basket he’d purchased at the market as well, Jaskier had insisted that a picnic was a special affair and deserved the right accessories to make it just right.

Geralt had just let him do as he wished, not worried about his friend’s coin purse - and not worried about his own, for once. Usually the end of winter spelled a time of heavy work for him but he’d lucked out on a couple of easy and well paying jobs right off the bat - so he thought a bit of down time wouldn’t be the end of the world for them.

The song on Jaskier’s lips was one he hadn’t quite finished yet. Geralt had already heard several different renditions of the first verse alone, lyrics tweaked here and there, the exact lilt of his voice changing back and forth as he tried to settle on what he believed would sound the best. And despite his occasional grumbling over the repetition it was a rather relaxing tune, one he didn’t mind listening to.

Beyond that, there was a sort of...intimacy that came with being trusted with Jaskier’s unfinished works. The knowledge that Jaskier wasn’t always his best around him, was able to fuck around with a song and riddle the air with curses of “bollocks” and “cock” while he tried and failed and tried again to make it just right. That Geralt could see him like this and not the perfected performance that he was to the rest of the world, the mask that was firmly in place right up until the moment he didn’t want it to be.

And that moment just so happened to frequently involve witchers, whether directly or indirectly. How many times had he gone feral on someone for just saying the wrong thing about one of Geralt’s colleagues? Just early that spring he’d jumped someone for spitting on the ground over Lambert’s name, and Jaskier hadn’t even met him yet.

Something like pride welled up in his chest at the thought, though it was a quiet thing. Jaskier should be more careful, he shouldn’t be fighting their fights - but it meant the world to him all the same that he wanted to. Especially for his brothers.

“You know, I’ve never been one for cheese and crackers as anything more than a snack, but that was simply delightful.” Jaskier’s voice came closer as he talked, and the flowers and grass were disturbed next to him as the bard flopped over at his side, quickly snuggling in when Geralt moved his arm to make room for him. “We’ll have to go back and ask again what the name of that cheese was. Never have I ever given so much thought to pairing and wines and all that stuff - my youngest sister was always more interested in that sort of thing, and really if I heard her say one more time that my palette wasn’t refined enough I might have had to hide frogs in her bed again.”

Jaskier settled in nicely at his side, slotting in like they were made for each other, fit perfectly together. He chattered away and Geralt mostly tuned him out, something Jaskier loved to fake hurt over though they both knew it was just that: fake. Over the years Geralt had perfected hearing what he needed to hear and simply listened to the tune of Jaskier’s voice, the song of his highs and lows, his sighs and breaths and every heartbeat becoming the song that was his bard.

Meditation came easier around Jaskier than it did anyone else. Even around his own family it was a struggle. Lambert was a little shit at the best of times and Eskel simply existed larger than he wanted to, and Geralt was always tuned into his brothers, paying attention to them because he knew just how limited theri time was together. But with Jaskier, he could rest, relax, simply let himself be like he’d never experienced with anyone else.

His arm rested at Jaskier’s back, hand loose on his side, barely hanging on and feeling his bard breath in and out as he spoke. Jaskier’s fingers tapped a rhythm where they were rested on his chest, though eventually they moved, sliding down to rest against his stomach and making Geralt hmm at the pleasant warmth they brought.

They’d stripped earlier to bathe in the nearby river and had mostly dressed, though Jaskier had forwent his doublet as Geralt had his armor. It was nice, being out in the wild, away from the faux sense of safety that inn rooms allowed them and yet still able to be this content without his armor on. Just their loose clothing, not enough to be considered decent in any sort of societal setting, simply existing and being and just…

Geralt was content, and he didn’t consider that a bad thing. Not in the slightest.

A breeze rustled the field about them, loose silver hair tickling his face though Geralt didn’t have the bother in him to brush it out of the way or tuck it behind his ear. The air smelled nice for once, no clogging dust on the wind, no rotting anything nearby nor farms to make his nose want to clog itself. Since the summer was still a ways off the sun wasn’t too harsh on his skin, his chemise enough to keep any possible chill away though it was warm enough in this part of the country, everything pleasant and not too much.

There was also a lovely set of fingers that had wormed their way under his chemise. Jaskier hadn’t bothered to push it up, had just scooted his hand underneath, and with very gentle circles had begun to rub patterns into the soft flesh there. It was enough to make Geralt melt beneath him, a soft hmm on his lips accompanied by a sigh as he felt his every muscle relax at the touch. The winter had been extra good to him, Eskel having returned with more coin than expected from his path which had meant more meat for their stews, and the lot of them had eaten extra well.

Jaskier had never shied away from letting him know exactly how much he appreciated it when he ate well. There had been a few times on their own path that food had been scarce, and despite witchers having an accelerated metabolism Geralt had always done his best to see after his bard first and foremost - so when times were tough his body showed it, and Jaskier had played his fingers raw when he saw the worst of it just to make sure the both of them could eat their fill.

But there had been no such worries or struggles yet this year, what with the good winter and the well paying contracts that had followed. Geralt’s stomach was full and soft, protecting the muscles and other important organs underneath, and the rest of him was showing the spoiling as well. His thighs had grown softer, somewhat straining against the material of his pants but it wasn’t quite uncomfortable yet - he knew well enough to keep his clothes somewhat baggy, to make room for the waxing and waning that came with the path. His chest, too, had grown softer, encouraging Jaskier to nuzzle into it at any given opportunity.

Those calloused fingers found some of the scars that ran across his belly, caressing them gently. Some stretch marks veined their way across his skin as well, hidden at the moment by his chemise but Jaskier felt his way across them all the same, giving off a gentle sigh as he snuggled in closer and traced his love wherever he could reach.

Geralt could not have thought of a more peaceful way to spend the afternoon. The clouds blurred as his eyes slid closed at the tender affection, his breaths deepening. Deep breaths in through his nose, smelling the wildflowers. A rabbit was nearby, chomping as quietly as it could on some grass, its hops barely whispers as it braved further away from its burrow. Geralt could hear the gentle chuffing of its babies hidden away, the call of a hawk overhead that sent the rabbit scurrying. The scent of budding trees, of a little mouse that had found some seeds to munch. The scent of his bard, his oils and shampoo and the hint of river on the both of them, and the growing scent of-

A snort brought them both a bit out of the peace, and Geralt cracked his eyes just enough to smirk down at the startled confusion growing on his bard’s face.

“Really?”

Those pretty pink lips pouted up at him as if Jaskier wasn’t fully aware of what was growing in his pants. Geralt made a show of raising one of his eyebrows, raking his gaze down, down his bard, straight to stare at his crotch just long enough to get his point across before flicking his eyes right back up.

It took a few seconds for his bard to catch up, Geralt watching the thoughts clear as day on Jaskier’s face, until red spread pretty across his cheeks and darkened the speckle of freckles there. Jaskier sputtered a bit and Geralt had to bite back a wider grin, starts to words that had no finish dropping between them before Jaskier cut himself off with a whine, ducking in to nuzzle into his chest and push the rest of his body closer.

“That’s not fair, Geralt - what, can you, I don’t know, smell it or something?”

Geralt didn’t respond to that, just reached up to tug a stray curl back behind Jaskier’s ear. His bard peeked up at him with another adorable pout jutting out his lower lip, his nose scrunched up as he waited for his ‘ridiculous suggestion’ to be shot down.

But it wasn’t shot down. And Jaskier frowned, and then he squeaked, climbing on top of Geralt to straddle him and poke a very firm finger straight into the chest he’d just been nuzzling.

“You and your- your entirely unfair witcher ways! Are you telling me you could tell all this time? Every time?” Geralt didn’t stop his grin this time and the indignation just grew, hand gestures growing wider. “That is- Geralt, how am I suppose to walk through life knowing you can smell my erection? How am I ever supposed to get up of a morning knowing my every waking naughty thought will be given away? Which yes is entirely too often but you’re entirely not fair, have you looked in a mirror in the past decade? Cruelty, unfair, entirely too sexy for your own good, for anyone’s own good-”

Jaskier went on like that, ranting like only he could, while Geralt eventually tuned his words out just to listen to the lilt of his voice. And the bard made a rather pretty picture himself, straddling him like that. His chemise was loose, showing off curls of dark hair that Geralt could run his fingers through for an eternity and never be bored of it. Broad tanned shoulders, a soft stomach barely hidden underneath his clothes, his pants a wonderful shade of green that fit in with the waking world around them.

A very pretty picture, but a noisy one at the moment. Geralt sighed but Jaskier went on, wildly flourishing his hands as if it was the end of the world that Geralt could smell his arousal. An arousal that had notably not died down, still pressing against the fabric of his pants, catching Geralt’s eyes and making him tilt his head in that way that Jaskier insisted was ‘adorable’ - though Geralt didn’t think he was capable of such a thing.

His thigh twitched with a rather mischievous thought, and as Geralt’s gaze traveled back up to Jaskier’s face, cheeks still stained pink from his rather unnecessary embarrassment, he thought there perhaps that voice would do better singing for him than ranting about his dramatics.

He’d been called an asshole before, and Geralt had never disagreed with the label. But he was lucky enough that Jaskier for the most part never minded - and he greatly doubted Jaskier would mind his next movement.

As Jaskier waved one of his delicate looking wrists in the air, dandelion seeds drifting on the wind about them, Geralt shifted beneath him until he had room to lift up one of his thighs. Before Jaskier could catch his movement it pressed up into him, cutting his bard off with a gasp, his eyes fluttering as Geralt’s smile showed teeth.

“That’s-” Jaskier pressed right down onto his thigh, his hands coming down to support him, and he didn’t waste any time in making it more enjoyable for himself. Shifting down, one hand placed on Geralt’s chest to support him, Jaskier straddled his thigh and slowly ground down onto it. A pretty moan escaped his lips and his tongue darted out as if to catch it.

It was a lovely show, watching as Jaskier pressed down onto him, sought out his own pleasure by rubbing against his thick thigh. Geralt pillowed his head on his arms and just watched, not moving his leg, letting Jaskier set his own pace and feeling pride bubble up in his chest at how pretty he sung for him. On a particularly rough grind Jaskier whimpered and rutted against him faster, making Geralt’s own cock twitch - but he wasn’t really in the mood for pleasure, so he ignored it in favor of the show.

Though he made for a beautiful picture, back lit by the sun and clouds, a pretty blue above that couldn’t quite beat the beautiful blue of his eyes, Jaskier wasn’t purposely looking good for a show. He didn’t touch his own skin like he did when he rode Geralt, didn’t skim his hands down his chest and stomach to show it off. Didn’t bite his lip or run and tangle his fingers into his curls. The emotions that crossed his face were not stressed or controlled, his noises slipped out without thought, his body moving without any purpose beyond pleasuring himself - and it made it a moment Geralt wanted to sear into his memory forever. That Jaskier could let go like this for him. That he trusted that Geralt didn’t mind, trusted that Geralt did not judge him for his desires. How human Jaskier allowed himself to be, imperfect and all the more beautiful for it.

“Fuck,” Jaskier cursed on an exhale, his movements already shaking, his cock dripping enough precum that it soaked into the front of his pants. Geralt could almost feel it wetting his own. “Geralt I- fuck you’re gorgeous, so gorgeous, I want to-” his hips stuttered, breath catching on a moan, brown curls caught on the wind and dancing. “Can- can I get off on your stomach? Gods it’d be so soft, feel so good, I- fuck.”

That was something he’d never requested before. Geralt quirked an eyebrow, belying another twitch of his own cock, but he grunted out “If you must.” And he had to bite back a chuckle at how quickly Jaskier’s fingers went for the ties of his pants.

Jaskier’s cock was leaking profusely though that wasn’t anything he didn’t already know. It looked like it was aching from it, hard and red and angry when he fished it out of his pants and smalls, and Jaskier whined as he couldn’t help but stroke himself a few times. His hips bucked with it, a greedy and wanting noise slipping from between his wet lips - but then he was slipping down Geralt’s leg to straddle his hips, and his cock was pushed against the soft skin of his stomach.

It didn’t slide against him very easily. The precum leaking from the tip helped, but Jaskier didn’t seem to care, holding onto his cock and gently rubbing it against him, jaw wide and loose like it was the single most pleasurable act Jaskier had ever experienced. Geralt cocked his head and tore his gaze away from Jaskier to watch his cock rub circles on him, precum dribbling faster and catching in the hair that curled white all over his abdomen.

Honestly, Geralt didn’t quite understand it. Wasn’t entirely sure what had Jaskier’s breath coming so fast, his heart beating so quick at rubbing against his soft stomach. But he didn’t really care. Jaskier’s hips jerked and he fought to keep himself reigned in, to keep his movements steady and slow, and Geralt just watched him and let him. Let him take this pleasure, smelling the arousal coming off of him in waves, listening to the rhythm of his breaths and body and heart. And Geralt memorized every little detail, from the flutter of his long eyelashes to the way his fingers dug into Geralt’s side, nails just at the edge of biting him.

Jaskier whimpered, long and shaking, when he came. It was desperate, his face scrunching up, eyes shut tight as if he was grasping onto the pleasure with all of his might. Geralt reached out to take hold of one of his hands, letting Jaskier clench his fingers as hard as he needed, bringing them up to brush his lips against the knuckles as Jaskier spilled all over his stomach.

His bard almost collapsed onto him, but Geralt moved him before that could happen, bringing him down with a shush at his further whimpers and letting him rest once more in the crook of his arm. And Jaskier came down slow, heartbeat eventually matching the rhythm of his deepening breaths, eyes still scrunched up tight as if he didn’t want to let go of what he’d been feeling.

When Geralt ran his fingers through his curls, they were damp with sweat. He hummed, not minding, just holding him close as he melted against him.

Eventually, Jaskier stretched, letting his arm flop against Geralt’s chest and legs tangle with his once more. He almost made an effort to open his eyes. Almost. Instead he frowned lightly, nuzzling into Geralt and as he moved impossibly closer.

“Want me to return the favor, love?” His words were light things that could have been carried off by the wind if Geralt’s hearing had been even slightly worse.

In truth, Geralt was turned on. How could he not be when Jaskier had ridden his thigh and stomach so beautifully? But he thought it over for a minute, the cool breeze tickling his face with a few stray white hairs, the scent of wildflowers coming back to him as the one of arousal dissipated.

“No,” he said finally, pulling Jaskier closer to kiss the top of his head. Despite the interest his body had shown he found he wasn’t in the mood himself, content enough to let Jaskier have his pleasure and leave it at that.

Jaskier just hummed, not questioning him further, and a small smile tugged at Geralt’s lips knowing there would be no hurt feelings over it. His bard’s fingers eventually went back to lazily tracing patterns into his skin, though he made a bit of a yucky face when they found the sticky mess he’d left of Geralt’s stomach hairs. Still they were both far too content to clean up just yet, not even wasting the energy to tuck Jaskier’s softening cock back away in his pants as they laid there, relaxed, enjoying the non-harsh sun and the clouds that lazed across the sky overhead.

“Coin for your thoughts?” Jaskier whispered into his chest after a time, and Geralt grunted, not even opening his eyes to look down as he responded.

“A bigger food budget.”

A moment later, and Jaskier’s laugh filled the field around them, sharp and uncontained, a laugh that was so far away from the performance he played that it drew a chuckle out of Geralt as well. That they could be themselves around each other, that they could be so carefree and human, was the most joyous thing Geralt had ever found in his long, long life - and that they’d discovered a new way to have fun was exciting, and Geralt was certainly going to take advantage of this new discovery. How could he not, when his reward was a well-pleased bard melting in his arms.

[keefwho]

December 31 - 2022

9:36 AM

I slept in an hour to help make up for last night. I’m still tired but I guess I feel okay. I don’t know what I want to do today. Probably nothing creative. I kinda feel like doing literally anything as long as I pass the time. I just don’t want to stress about anything right now. Tomorrow I have yearly finance stuff to do and then it’s back to commissions like usual. I’m still being soy about getting commissions done. I can never do it on time and sometimes I don’t even do the whole 2 hours. I WILL do the whole 2 hours if I have to but if I get any amount ahead I tend to slack. There is no solution to this other than buckling down and getting it done. It sucks that it feels this big struggle I have to look forward to every day but it should get better. I used to feel like that about my anxiety too but I’ve made so much progress from when I first started doing something about it. 

11:17 AM

I’m sad that I tend to document sad times more than happy times. It’s because I want someone to reach out and help but that is never healthy for me to expect. Most of the time it makes me MORE sad because people either don’t take the hint or don’t think it’s their place to intervene. It’s not realistic of me to expect anyone to both know I’m sad and care enough to help. But I hate suffering in silence. Its probably for the best though. I’ll try to tone back the negative posting and focus on positive things more. I know myself in the future will appreciate looking back and reading about the things I enjoyed rather than only my troubles. 

The only thing I’ve enjoyed this morning is getting cozy and watching Bluey. I might lay in bed and watch other things, or play Earthbound maybe. Its a good day to pour hours into a game.

3:34 PM

Maybe for every negative thing I have to talk about, I can bring up something positive too. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about myself and how I behave in relationships in general. I know I mold myself around others a lot, maybe too much. It’s hard to understand when I should stop fitting to them and let them fit to me. I have noticed that most of my friendships in the past can end up one sided. I give in too much doing whatever they want to do but seldom do they make the same sacrifice for me. I always do it out of kindness and I honestly enjoy taking part in other people’s interests. It hurts when whatever I want to do is frequently declined. At this point I think I’ve stopped bothering even considering it. I completely forget that doing what I want to do with others is even an options. It’s why I end up playing singleplayer games only. My brain has learned my interests must not be compatibly with basically anyone. I know thats not true but this is how I’ve become molded by experience. Its really hard to break out of mental beliefs like this. This one is very deeply engrained. 

I guess I’m also not sure who I am as an individual either because of this. Deep down I feel like I shouldn’t try to be myself because it clearly hasn’t work very well in the past. I’ve become aware of this and have been trying to figure out what I truly desire but it’s been a rocky path. I still really don’t know. 

On a positive note, my tummy isn’t acting up and I’ve been keeping myself busy working on this present. At first I projected that if I focused on only doing it today, I might actually be able to get it mostly done. That might have been realistic but I had to shower and eat and today is a good day to have mom try to scan me again. No matter what, my goal right now is to keep doing something so I don’t get trapped in my own head anymore. I guess this isn’t very positive but I feel like I’m in mental survival mode. Like if I don’t get to the bottom of what is causing me anguish, I will break down again eventually. 

7:11 PM

I’ve been depressed as fuck all day and of course now my tummy is acting up. I felt super okay all day now all of the sudden I’m in pain. It’ll probably just pass in a little bit but still. What the fuck. I really don’t want to be alive right now. No drink for me tonight I guess.

This seems unlikely to me but I was researching if vitamins can upset your stomach and there is a special kind of sugar they use that fucks with certain people. The vitamins I take have that sugar and I’m wondering if it could be contributing to my issues. I have noticed that for that week-ish period of my tummy being consistently abnormal, I was especially diligent about taking my vitamins. And the past few days which have been much more normal, I stopped taking them. I don’t know if it would kick in this fast but I had a vitamin with my lunch a few hours ago and now my stomach is hurting. I’m going to stop taking the vitamins for awhile. 

12:11 AM

I still don’t know why I get sad like this. I guess everything I’m unhappy about in my life all comes crashing down at once every now and then. It’s all too much to handle or chip away at so I get overwhelmed. 

In my pain I find my values, and as weird as it is to admit, I value love. I want love. I want to commit and be committed to. 

I want to believe my friends think about me as much as I think about them. I want to believe they would care if they didn’t hear from me for awhile, instead of forgetting me and moving on. 

I want to feel welcome and included which I can only do if I improve my empathy. 

I want to feel like I have a purpose. I need something to do that makes an impact to others. 

I want to be bold enough to take the time to do things I actually want to do instead of trying to “save energy” or put them off until later. 

These are the things I can think of that would make me immediately happy. I’m sad that I’m lacking in these things. Soon I’ll go back to masking it and being generally functional but until I meet these kinds of requirements, I’ll likely keep plummeting into fits of depression. 

I don’t have anything positive to say. I’m sad and I’ve been sad all day. I’m extremely worried about the future. I’m so fucking upset I spent today alone. I feel like a total loser. This is the kind of thing that makes me feel like I’m not cared for. No one invited me to anything. No one was around when I went asking. I’m just all by myself.