#i want. more than a DAY! of not feeling insane and unhappy :(

[sofhtie]

guys can i be so fr i’m starting to think this months once a month i go insane is just going to be the entire month 😬……

[yanderecxre]

Yandere!Retired Colonel headcanons

You only knew him by his nickname, "Saint", beyond that you knew nothing about him. But oh, did he know everything about you.

You, sweet and young, fresh outta college and working at the base he was stationed at before he decided to retire. You who took care of the daycare on base, who didn't even bat an eye at the insanity that the children you took care of looked like.

Saint even adopted a kid from the dumb program just to have an excuse to talk and see you, little Henry was a pain in the ass, literally and figuratively. The brat always clung to you, crying he didn't wanna go home. Making Saint look like a terrible grandfather. "Listen here you little brat, I'm trying to make sure they can't just up and leave, so start acting like I'm the greatest grandfather alive before you scare them off!"

Sweet, young bleeding heart little you. Always talking and smiling at him like he's some regular guy and not a powerful Colonel who could (and would if you ever tempted or forced his hand) ruin your budding little career before the hour ended. Of course though he'd never do that, not with how often he sees you now, at drop off, pick up, sometimes you ask guardians to help around the daycare, he's there every time.

Saint, who once he decides you're his, immediately gets to work implementing himself in your life, both personal and professional. Using little Henry as an excuse, poor boy getting used as an excuse for why the two ran into you everywhere you seemed to go. "Oh, hello Henry, Saint! What brings you two to the library?" You smile and ask as you hold a small stack of books, unaware that Saint was scanning the titles so he could ask you next time which was your favorite. Saint smiles and holds Henry's shoulder, laughing slightly. "Poor boy practically cried and threw a fit demanding we come to the library because he wanted to read and play in the kids section!" You were far too busy to see Henry glaring at Saint, his eyes darkening as you smiled and talked to him.

Saint, who finally asks you out on a proper date (you don't know of course that the date will be your last in a while, he already has your room set up in his cabin. Henry helped him pick everything out, the kid loved you too much to let his idiot of a grandfather make you feel unhappy.) When you accepted he smiled and offered to pick you up, you spent the rest of the day smiling and giggling as Henry clung to your leg pouting.

That night, you had a lovely date, perfect in every way, Saint was the perfect gentleman. Letting you order whatever you wanted and asking about your interests and life. He even insisted you call him by his actual name, Nicolas. He loved the way it rolled off your tongue, could only imagine you moaning and whimpering it as he went down on you later on-

You felt woozy during the last bit of the date, had you drank more than you thought, no way... you couldn't have, you looked up over at him, Saint looked perfectly fine, not like you. You stumbled slightly out your seat, he was there, holding you steady. "Oh dear, poor thing, let's get you home yeah sweetheart? You had lots to drink, I'll get your dessert to go." He murmured in your ear, holding you closely to his side his large hand firmly on your hip, keeping you near him.

The last thing you remember before passing out was Saint, helping you to his car. Hand on your hips as he assured you everything was alright, that you were just tipsy. Something in his voice made you feel weird but it got overshadowed by your head muddling as you whimpered softly and promptly passed out. You never knew that he drugged you, he wasn't a monster. He just needed you woozy enough to get you to his cabin.

"Don't look at me like that little brat, they're just unconscious. What? You gonna sleep by their bedside to protect their virtue?" "Yeah, because I don't trust you, grandfather." "You little fucker- Jesus! Did you just bite me?!"

[luveline]

wondering what zombie!au Steve might try to do for a sappy romantic surprise.. I feel like he’d get really excited about planning something intimate/small but really meaningful and tooth-rotting sweet.. maybe it’s for a birthday? or just for a spot of cheer?

Before the apocalypse, Steve was desperate to be loved. None of his girlfriends ever seemed that interested in more than sex or popularity, and if they were, they’d realise they wanted more than Steve soon after. He spent years wishing somebody would look at him and find exactly what they wanted. 

And you do. 

You look at him like he’s your everything (when you aren’t complaining, that is). “I’m gonna have to shave you myself,” you say, climbing into his lap, your hand tipping his head back less gently than you mean to, he’s sure. “That’s a wound.” 

“It’s a scratch. It’ll be fine tomorrow.” 

He grabs your waist, surprised but certainly not unhappy with your sudden presence. You’re straddling him. “Does it hurt?” You rub the area surrounding his raw skin. “Does that hurt?” 

“Not really.” He runs his hands up and down your sides. “What’s up?” 

You shrug. He leans back against the headboard as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. “We finally have a bed again.” 

He pulls you in for a hug. “Yeah?” 

“It’s so nice. I missed this.” 

“I missed this too. Clean sheets, a door that locks…” 

You understand what he’s hinting at. He isn’t subtle, but he’s also in no rush, and you know that too. “Maybe you can give me a massage later,” you murmur. “We still have some of that nice lotion.” 

He loves that, the thought of you on your front as his hands push up your shoulders, your skin and his palms warmed by friction. “What about me?” he jokes, hands sliding up your back, tracing the path he’ll make later on. 

“You can have one too,” you say, your face dropping down to his neck, where you kiss him mildly, like you’re thinking of something else. 

Steve wants to give the gift to you before he forgets it. You can be a very distracting person, not just because he’d like to encourage your lips to his for a good kiss, or because you’re the perfect partner for hugging under the covers. Maybe it’s because he loves talking to you, about everything and anything at all.

“Hey, so.” He encourages your head back, his hand on the nape of your neck. “I have something for you.” 

“Do I have to get off of you?” you ask. 

“No, you can stay there.” He reaches into his pocket. 

“Wait, you’re smiling. Are you that excited to give it to me?” 

“Pretty excited.” 

You caress the inside of his elbow. 

It’s probably why you’re so easy to love. Not that you love him, but your propensity for sweetness, and the way you show your own affection. If he didn’t need both hands for this next part he’d twine your fingers together and hold yours all night long. 

He pulls a small plastic bag from his pocket to show you the contents, then changes his mind and opens the bag to take it out instead. “I know you were pretty happy that I found your necklace in my jacket, but I got it for you such a long time ago, I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep it. You should keep it.” 

“I don’t think I could get rid of it,” you say, honest and curious. “You gave it to me to make me feel better. Do you remember?” 

“Yeah, I remember. You had a frown like no one’s business for days.” He finds the charm and lays it over his hand. The chain is slightly tangled, but he can fix that. “There wasn’t a box, but. I don’t know, it reminded me of us, and you need an upgrade, I think I should ask you to get married–”

You smile in surprise, “What?” 

“But I can’t find a ring. So I have to promise to get you one, and you can have this for the interim.” It’s an incredible skinny chain joined by two hearts. Steve knows it’s cheesy, it’s insanely corny, whatever, he’s smiling like a loon. “I figure it’s me and you,” he says, putting it in your open palm. “Linked together.” 

Your gaze moves between him and the necklace slowly. “You want to marry me?” 

Steve curls your hand closed over the necklace. Gentle, he takes your face into both hands. “I get that I haven’t been the best boyfriend, but you can’t really think I don’t want that, right?” 

He’s really asking, but you don’t answer.

“I would’ve married you a long, long time ago, if things were different,” he says, pulling you in for a quick kiss. “I would’ve asked,” he corrects softly, before stealing another kiss. 

You press your screwed up fist to his chest as you kiss him back. 

“Who says we have to have rings?” you mumble. 

The idea of calling you his wife is insanity. It trips him up, flips his heart, but he thinks you deserve the real thing. As real as it can get, considering. 

“I’m gonna keep looking,” Steve says. 

The way your eyes soften as he rubs your cheek sets everything he’s saying to you in stone. Who else could he ever want to be looking at him like this beside you? How lucky he is that you’d bother. 

“Thank you,” you say. 

Your face tilts down and he drops one hand, moving the other to just under your jaw, his pinky and marriage finger sewn behind your ear, middle and index on your cheek. He watches you and you turn your gift in your palm, waiting for you to lift your head.

“Thank you,” you say again. “Will you put it on me?” 

Steve strings it around your neck and clasps it at your chest before twisting it to sit properly. The new necklace is a bit shorter than your simple diamond. You could wear both without issue. 

You look down at them but can’t quite see them. “Does it look good?” 

“Yeah. Looks beautiful.” 

He wraps his arms around you again and looks up in to your face, chests coming together as he straightens his back and the gap between you closes just enough. You look down at him, your smile a mirror of his. Steve thinks being as in love with you as he is makes for its own kind of gift. Much better than a necklace, but he’ll keep trying to bridge the gap. 

He forgets everything else when you’re together. Everything. 

His face falls into your chest and collar against your necklaces. You press your face to his hair and cuddle him nicely. 

“Love you,” you both whisper at the same time. 

Your laugh tickles his scalp, warm breath in his hair. 

[gi4hao]

the idiots you date — x. minghao

roommate!minghao x gn!reader

word count: 1k

genre: fluff but slightly angsty (mention of a past toxic relationship)

“you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you”

“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are.”

minghao’s face bears signs of exhaustion that you’ve learned to recognize months ago. signs which started to appear exactly when he took on this new “big corporate job” as you often call it, simply because you’re not quite sure to understand what it is.

you’ve finished your dinner an hour ago. you used to wait for him to come home, but that was when he wasn’t working overtime most days of the week.

“they needed me to finish some urgent reports, i didn’t really have a choice,” he tells you before you can even ask anything. his tone is like a permanent sigh, but you know it’s not directed towards you.

sat at the kitchen table, you remain silent, fiddling with the rings he took off before washing his hands. the lights are dimmed, making the dark circles under his eyes slightly more prominent.

“how was your date?” he asks as he takes his plate out of the microwave, probably wanting to change the subject. but you doubt he’s still interested in your date anecdotes, especially since this one was your third of the week.

although he comes to sit right next to you, you carefully avoid his eyes when you reply:

“okay, i guess? the guy was nice but had terrible takes on most topics we talked about. well, ‘we’ is kind of a stretch because i was doing most of the talking. i think he was just here to eat good food and make me pay for most of it.”

“so… not okay, then”, minghao corrects you, and the silence that follows speaks louder than any word would have.

you’ve been single for almost a year now, and your last relationship was not exactly a model of good and healthy communication.

living alone after the breakup was a depressing prospect, and minghao was in need of a roommate to avoid letting his job drive him insane: a perfect match for two long-time friends like you two.

there was always a certain closeness between you, but living together has made it more intimate, and consequently harder to ignore... which is why you decided to ask for the help of various dating apps in hope to get minghao out of your head.

“yeah, not okay…” you sigh, mindlessly sliding one of his rings on your finger.

your gaze lands on the painting hung next to the fridge. one of minghao’s, which you insisted should be put up in your apartment; swirls of paint meeting in rosebuds and milky tulips. you can still see where the paint was spread across the canvas by his fingers.

with a tinge of sadness, you realize minghao hasn’t drawn anything in months. his paint-covered clothes were all replaced by dull suits that make him look like the people he used to feel sorry for.

“what time do you start tomorrow?” you ask, pouring him another glass of water.

his lips press into a thin line; you’re not sure whether he’s holding back a sigh of annoyance or just mentally preparing for an answer you’re not going to like.

“7. there’s a meeting i need to prepare for.”

“and when you get to the office at 7, are other employees there? or just you?”

“don’t start,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing his plate to go put it in the dishwasher. “we’ve already discussed this, it’s a dead-end.”

he’s right, this conversation has never ended well. but your eyes keep coming back to that painting, to everything he’s slowly turning his back to. the sadness ebbs away, giving way to a rising anger:

“no, i will start actually,” you state, walking up to him. “you’re unhappy, hao. you shouldn’t work for a company that doesn’t respect you.”

“yeah, and you shouldn’t date guys who don’t deserve you, yet here we are,” he replies, slamming the dishwasher shut. but his voice sounded more cutting than intended: “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said that.”

there are a thousand words on your lips right now, but few of them would be reasonable to say out loud. meanwhile, minghao is looking at you like you’re a ticking time bomb.

“but you said it. so now i expect you to either hit me with a miracle solution or kiss me.”

you said it without really thinking, basically shrugging as you know he will never take you seriously. the best outcome would be for him to never speak about your love life ever again.

but his reply makes you instantly freeze: “what if i did both?”

a rush of warmth spreads from the pit of your stomach, radiating through your entire body as his hand comes to meet your cheek, silently asking for confirmation that this is something you want.

your lips crash against his before he can even start to lean in, and the feeling of his skin so close to yours feels so unreal you expect him to push you away any second.

but instead, he matches your eagerness to the point where you’re scared you might lose your balance.

“i hope you like that solution,” he breathes out, leaving one last kiss on your nose.

in that fleeting moment, you reunite with the old minghao, the lively one who makes his own decisions and owns up to his actions. the one you fell in love with years ago.

“absolutely”, you chuckle, your hands meeting behind his neck. “…so i guess i can tell that guy we won’t go on a second date.”

“you better,” he earnestly tells you as he starts to take his black blazer off. “working from 7 to 9 will never be as painful as watching another idiot take you on a date. from now on, i’ll take care of it.”

-> rbs and feedback are always appreciated!

masterlist here!

[aventurinespuppy]

bully scaramouche x gn reader (part two)

CW: smut, mentions of bullying, dubcon, sub reader, gn reader, choking, slapping, biting, cumming inside, doing it in a classroom, blacking out

WC: ~1.3k

AN: this has been sitting in my drafts for SOO long cuz i had to muster up the confidence to write a sex scene LMAOO i kinda went wild with this one but please enjoy

He lowers his voice and speaks in a sultry tone. "I've taken quite the liking to you." His hand drops to hold your throat and leans closer to your ear. "How about you be mine?"

You scoff and peel his hand off of your neck.

"Are you kidding me?"

He chuckles and steps back from you, allowing you a tiny smidge of space.

"Why won't you look at me, hm? Scared you won't be able to resist after seeing my handsome face?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" You turn around to look at him and glance at the door behind him, wondering if you had bitten off more than you could chew. He notices your gaze shifting to the door.

"Surely you're not thinking of leaving already? You're the one who brought me here after all."

You bring your attention back to him and make eye contact with him, sighing as you take note of his cocky smirk. You brace yourself with a deep breath and speak as steadily as your nerves allow you.

"I've gotten lots of complaints about you from both students and teachers" You pause to observe his reaction, continuing when he stays silent. "Since I'm the school council president, you fall under my responsibility." He doesn't stop looking at you the entire time you speak and you falter slightly under his intense gaze. "So, um.. I'd appreciate if you brushed up on your behaviour."

He seems to genuinely take in what you say and you internally celebrate, hopeful that he'll agree and reduce your future workload. It was hard work always cleaning up his messes after all.

"Quite demanding, aren't we? I'll consider it if you do a favour for me."

You quirk an eyebrow up at him and he grins down at you. You mentally prepare for his next words. God forbid if he asks you to do his homework for the next month. You had enough on your plate.

"If you let me fuck you, I might just stop."

His words come out naturally, as if this was a normal request to make. Your eyes widen and you take a moment to process his words. Did you hear him right?

"W-What? Are you insane?" You back up and hit the table behind you, gripping onto the edge of it as to not lose your footing. He chuckles at your speechlessness and takes a step toward you, leaving you no space to move.

"Maybe I am. Now will you let me fuck you or not? I don't have all day to wait for you to decide."

You lean back as much as you can and turn away, distancing yourself from him. Seemingly unhappy with the newly added space between the two of you, he leans in again and cages you in between his arms. Your eyes wander all over the room, looking anywhere but at him.

"W-We can't.." You squeeze your eyes shut and let out a noise somewhat akin to a squeak when you feel him take a strand of your hair and twirl it around. He murmurs softly to you.

"We can't? We're both adults here and I've seen the way you look at me. Don't pretend you don't want this too."

You look into his eyes, filled with desire. He glances down at your lips and you at his. It doesn't take much more before you're both leaning in to capture each other's lips in a hungry kiss.

Your fingers play with his hair and his hands wander to your waist. He pushes you down onto the table, one hand behind your head to make sure you don't hurt yourself. You chuckle to yourself at this sweet gesture. He pulls away and starts kissing down your neck.

"What're you laughin' at, huh?" he mumbles agains your skin. His breath tickles your neck and you giggle again.

"Nothing, just.. didn't know there was a soft side to you."

He bites down hard on your neck at this and you wince.

"What was that for?!"

"I'll show you how rough I can be and you'll regret calling me soft."

He leans back in for a rough kiss and starts unbuttoning your shirt. You get the hint and unbuckle your belt, but as you start to wiggle out of your pants, he grabs your wrist and stops you.

"Leave it on. The door's still unlocked y'know."

You glare at him, silently telling him to let go of you so you could lock the door properly and he chuckles, tightening his grip on your wrists.

"That's it.. Keep looking at me with that look on your face. Makes me wanna ruin you all the more."

He lets go of your wrists and turns you around to face away from him and before you can question what he's doing, he presses your face into the table and you groan out from the force. You scold him to be more careful and you receive no response as he moves to pull your pants down just enough to expose your eager hole.

Without warning, he sticks a finger in, poking around your insides as you struggle to suppress your sounds. He notices this and tries even harder to pull some noises out of you, adding another finger and stretching you out with a scissoring motion.

"Stop teasing, you asshole.. Put it in already." You say through gritted teeth. To emphasise how badly you need him, you wiggle your hips enticingly, which only earns you a harsh smack on the ass.

"Patience is a virtue. One you clearly lack, my dear." And with that, he pulls out his fingers, leaving you empty, but not for long as he abruptly thrusts his cock into you. You curse him out and grip the edge of the table, unprepared for the intrusion, and he laughs at you.

"What was that earlier? You could never like me? Hah.. Don't make me laugh. Look at you now, drooling over my cock and I haven't even started moving yet."

"You talk too much.." You mumble and he slaps your ass again, making you jolt. He grabs onto the fat of your hip roughly and his other hand wraps around your throat as he starts pulling out slowly, only to harshly slam his cock back into you.

He continues with this slow but rough pace for a while until you beg for him to "go faster!!", to which he rolls his eyes but obliges.

A mix of lewd, wet noises and the both of your groans and moans fills the classroom, the both of you getting lost in the pleasure and forgetting that you're still in school. You could've sworn you heard some footsteps coming down the corridor, just stopping outside your classroom, but who knows? You were certainly too far gone to care.

He fucks you mercilessly, not letting up on his harsh pace at all, abusing your poor hole and you're sure you'll be feeling the effects tomorrow, but right now, all you could think about sucking his cock back into your greedy hole.

You feel his breath tickle your ear as he leans down to talk to you and you vaguely hear him say something along the lines of.. cumming inside? Your cockdrunk brain can barely hear, let alone process what he's saying to you, only begging for more pleasure and you hear his melodious laugh ring beside you as you realises you're completely in subspace.

At some point you swear your vision blacks and the next thing you know, you wake up, confused and alone. Blinking a few times, you try to regain your senses and look around. Anger and embarrassment paint your face red as you remember what happened. You scan the room for your clothes and you find them folded in a neat pile, with your phone on top. Your phone screen lights up and you squint to read the top message:

'I'll be seeing you again, my lovely council president.' - Unknown

---------------------------------------------------------

@drthymby

[anastasiabowe]

I hope this isn't too much, but, can you write about JJK (Nanamin Toji and Choso) men and how they have a plus size girlfriend, and can you make it nsfw? It's ok if you can't! Happy Belated valentines day!💖💖

𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙚 - JJK men with plus size reader!

note: I loved writing this so much, this is one of my favorite requests! Also I'm making my way through requests for real this time💀

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨:

♡ 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞 - The Admirer

Not another day goes by without Nanami being infatuated with you. Nanami always stops dead in his tracks when he sees you every morning dragging your feet into the kitchen, lazily smiling at him as you wiped the sleep from your eyes. He always puts whatever he was doing or eating down so he can get up and help wake you up with kisses and coffee breath.

Nanami never found anything wrong with you whenever you looked unhappy at yourself. He usually asks you what's the matter and gets shocked every time you mumble out "I'm fat." It hurts him every time you say that, knowing saying it seals it deeper into your head, making it a reality. Nanami never knew what to say when you say that but the usual "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" Which he too knows is getting old. Nanami knew nothing he said would completely erase the idea from your head since he himself is quite fit and muscular. But, he does know one way as to which helps you temporarily forget.

"Not there, Ngh! I'm sensitive there!" You squeal when he is laying on you, softly sucking on your tits. You guys didn't have much time, but he knew how to get you going fast.

"just relax baby, you know this feels good." His deep voice rung in your ears as he slowly brought his hand down to your cunt slipping it under your dress. "You're so beautiful Y/n, especially like this. You make me insane for you, absolutely psycho." He groans as he felt how wet you were. Your lips were red and wet from you biting on them. Everything felt so good, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be like this.

Nanami took his time, even though you guys had a dinner to attend, he had to slowly bring you to your high so it could crash down in the ultimate euphoric finish. He knew you were close by the increase of you squirming and pushing his shoulder with your hand so he could give your boobs a break.

"Uh uh, move your hands." He lowly commanded as his fingers inserted into you. You let out a moan gripping the back of Nanamin's head pushing him deeper into your chest.

"I-im cumming! Don't stop Kento, please don't stop!" You begged as he sped everything up. His tongue flicked your reddened nipples and his thumb circled your clit at the same time as his fingers fucked you finally pushing you over into a coma.

You let out a choked moan and Nanami chuckled as he helped you ride out your orgasm, taking his fingers from your cunt and and licked/sucked them clean.

"So fucking beautiful, fuck, it hurts just to look at you so cute and perfect for me. Too perfect for me."

♡ 𝙏𝙤𝙟𝙞 - The Fondler

Always touching you somewhere. You used to think that maybe he genuinely didn't realize how touchy he was, but you soon realized that he knows what he's doing. You guys could be simply watching a movie on a 4 seat couch, and out of those 4 seats, only 2 were taken. He would be either pulling you as close as you could into him, if he'd be laying on you.

He seemed like the type to hate clingy girls but he's the clingy one in the relationship! I mean everywhere you go, he's maybe 3 inches away, body touching yours, and hands gripping somewhere, and what I mean by somewhere, it's ass, tits, or thighs. You guys would be in Walmart and he'd have his hand in your back pant pocket, every once and a while squeezing your ass cheek. You guys could be driving home, his hand obviously on your thighs, or you could be simply reading a book in bed, and he'd be laying over you, one hand on your tits and the other holding his phone as he scrolled or watched something.

"Fucking love this ass, but you already know that though." Toji chuckled as his hips and your ass collided every 2 seconds. He loved how your ass rippled when you both made contact. He loved how he could grip you hips and squeeze the flesh on them, giving him the perfect handles to fuck you into oblivion. He knows that no matter how much he loves you and your body you will always find some reason to fucking hate yourself.

All through this fuck session, he keeps finding more things that you had said throughout the day about how much you hated your tummy, hated how wide you looked, hated your thighs and how they rubbed against each other, how much you hated how your feet hurt all the damn time. He never hated any of those, he never hated you, he never disliked any part of you, actually, how could he? You were so fine in so many different ways that even he himself gets surprised by, but he shouldn't because you are ethereal.

"Can't. Fucking. Get. Enough. Of. You." Toji said breathlessly as he now had you in the mating press. His hard chest against your soft tits felt so amazing in a weird way to him. Having your cute face so close, and your thighs wrapped around him had him cumming faster than usual.

"Sh-shit baby, I'm gonna cu-" he groaned loudly as he finished inside of you. You giggled, shocked he came this quick, but also turned on by how hot he was.

He didn't realize how much you turned him on until he really started thinking about it. Shit, now he's gonna have to work on not cumming so fast just thinking about you.

♡ 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 - The Overachiever

Choso always felt like he had something to prove with you, but definitely not in a bad way. He genuinely thinks you are way out of his league. Anything you complained about, he'd be there to do it better and more efficiently. If your feet hurt, he'd give you a whole massage AND he'd wash your feet. If you didn't like how the food tasted from a fast food restaurant, he'd go back and order a new meal telling them exactly what to do and how to do it better. He wanted to praise you, wanted to be there at your every need and desire. And when I mean every need and desire, I mean every need and desire.

Choso would do everything in his power to let you know how much he loved you. If you complained about anything you didn't like about yourself, that'd be everything he worshiped until you thought differently.

So when you complained about how your tummy couldn't fit into your jeans, he'd fuck you and fondle and praise how much he loved your tummy, "Fuck, I fucking love your tummy so fucking much, love it so much I wanna see it full with my baby, fuck imagine having my baby, oh that'd be so fucking hot." Even though you knew what he was doing and how it might be corny sometimes, it still made you love yourself so much more.

On that matter, if you weighed yourself and complained how you gained a few pounds, he will strictly fuck you by either carrying you or having you sit on his face, his favorite was the latter.

"Cho baby, I can't!" You whispered as he tried to tug you down on his face.

"Yes you can, and you will. Sit on my fucking face." His usual soft and cute demeanor was shifted into a dominant commanding demeanor. You only held yourself up by the help of the headboard, not even trying to lower yourself, afraid you might hurt him.

"Chooo, I don't wanna hurt you, please can we do something else?" You cried out. You did deep down wanted to sit on his face and have him ruin you, but it'd be so embarrassing if he'd tap your leg because he felt like you were crushing him. Choso only sighed and forcefully pulled you down catching you off gaurd. His arms locked around the base of your thighs, securing you onto his face. He even pushed his face up into your cunt to get deeper. You let out a moan as you felt him instantly sucking on your clit.

"F-fuck Cho, feels so good!" He chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. His fingers dug into your thighs as his eyes rolled back. Your hand found its way to Choso's dick, you leaned back a little and started pumping his rock hard dick. You began to feel confident that he was okay, and you could finally relax, which Choso was so happy you did. You tasted so amazing, and he felt so amazing tasting yummy, and you touching him. Soon Choso came, and you right after. Your body shook as he continued to hold you down on his face, overstimulating you both.

Choso finally released his grip, letting you get off of his face and lay beside him. He had a cute smile on his face and looked so out of it. You laughed and he looked over at you. "We need to do this more often."

[lizardkingeliot]

I guess I just didn't, like... expect most of the trial to be about Louis and Lestat's love story? And it's kind of throwing me for a loop rn I can't lie. Obviously those of us who have read tvl know Lestat was forced to be there. He wasn't there for revenge. He forgave them already! But....

I don't know. As hard as it was to watch it almost feels, like... weirdly affirming to the idea that the show is, in fact, all about their love? Like... even with the sham trial and Lestat being such a good performer it was SO evident how much Lestat was actually hurting up there. They had to telepathically remind him of his lines. He looked like he was physically going to collapse on several occasions. He went off script to apologize to Louis while weeping. Even to the general audience who hasn't read the books, there's no way the depth of that love isn't going to come across.

I'm feeling very raw right now and I'll probably need some time before I can articulate this better. I'll definitely need some time before I can articulate this better. But their love is just... right there. In all its toxic, fucked up vampiric glory. They can do anything to each other and the bond can't be broken. They have hurt each other so much. Just so so much it's unfathomable from a human perspective but also...

I don't know that they've ever felt more human to me than they did in 2x07. Not to get too personal on main, but I've been in that unhappy toxic marriage, albeit to a much less insane degree. Still... I know how Lestat feels. I know how Louis feels too. But I especially know how it feels to be neglected by your lover the way Louis neglected Lestat in that very specific way. To want them so badly you ache every second of every day. It is literal hell on earth in a way you can never know until you experience it. To have someone withhold from you (esp as a way to punish you). That shit hurts. And I'm just so glad the show is addressing it while also not trying in any way to excuse the very fucked up thing Lestat did to Louis in response.

Anyway. That's not the point I'm trying to make. The point I'm trying to make is... they're going to be fine. The show wouldn't be putting such an emphasis on their relationship if it wasn't the whole point of the show. It's seriously the whole point of the show and it makes me insane! They both fucked up real bad but we already know they're bloodbound soulmates destined to be together. They're endgame. They're VAMPIRES. They live forever. They will forgive each other. Over and over. Forever and ever...

[mywons]

៹ enha when you're hurt.

▸ ִֶָ tags enha x reader + fluff + hurt/comfort + jayke being bf material + the boys being protective + romantic gestures. warnings! && mentions of injury, cursing. REQUESTED : hi there i love love love your writing and i was wondering if you could maybe do how the members would react if someone hurt you (either physically or emotionally)? ✿ 1.6k words —

## HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT !

lee heeseung !

he's very very very attentive

whether you guys are dating or not, he makes sure to know all of your habits/quirks, so he knows when something's off

if you don't outright tell him, he'll ask for himself. "hey, what's going on with you? what happened, hm?"

please tell him so he doesn't think he did something wrong :(

his presence alone is probably one of the most comforting things ever, so if he's also putting all of his effort into making sure he's comforting you . . . god

if you're upset about something that can't be fixed, he'll listen to you rant & cry about it while he holds you in his arms and kisses the top of your head. maybe try and crack a few jokes to make you laugh,, get your mind off of it for a little

if it's something that can be fixed, he will give you any & all advice you ask for. would even take matters into his own hands if he feels like you're too stressed to handle it. he's so caring it's insane

if it's a person that hurt you . . . good luck to them???

like he already doesn't like seeing you upset but there's an actual human being that caused your tears?? they'll literally never be safe again

overall so so gentle with you and absolutely the best when it comes to making you feel better.

park jongseong !

he'll notice. immediately. like as soon as your fucking walk is a little off, he knows something is up

won't say anything unless you bring it up first, but he'll pamper you in so much affection that you know he's noticed your change in behavior

if days go by & your behavior doesn't change, then he'll ask about it

at this point, he's worried more than anything. just wants his happy baby back !!

^^ especially if your state starts messing w your physical health. he is not having it. has absolutely no problem w missing any & all events to cater to your every want and need, he's your very own personal caregiver

wtv's fucking with you will be long gone by the time he's done, jay hates to see you unhappy and he'll do absolutely anything to change it.

+ he already loves being there for you at every waking moment, so having an excuse to do this other than want ??? he loves it

you get texts from him every five minutes if he can't be near you "i'll bring food as soon as i can" "are you feeling better yet honey?" "i'm gonna stay over for the night"

you'd have to physically pry him off of you to go get a drink of water/use the bathroom in the middle of the night. poor boy is so clingy when you're not feeling well :((

jongseong the (boy)friend we all need $!3#+$%?

sim jaeyun !

he'd take you out on the best date ever, and you being you, you fall and twist your ankle

it's not that deep, you just have to stay in bed and elevate it for a few days. jake—jake thinks it is that deep

he feels so bad that you got hurt during your time w him, it feels like it's his fault even though it's really no one's

in guilt & genuine concern for you, he's by your side everyday all day. pampering you. holding your hand when you wanna get up and walk, cooking your meals and helping you bathe

he's js so so so sweet and by the end of it you're so accustomed to his company that you guys end up being a lot closer

randomly starts telling you how much he loves you throughout the day. platonic or not, he's just 100x more affectionate when you're hurt

even after you're all healed, his touch becomes a lot more gentle with you. the usual rough banter & playful fighting you guys do turns into softer touches and warm hugs. he's so careful with you

& finds himself being a lot more protective, too. a hand on the small of your back always

not overbearing, but it's to the point that you miss him so much it hurts when he's not near you

if someone else causes an injury or anything else that even slightly alters your mood in a negative way, pray for them

idk if y'all saw that one video where he said he'd fight over his partner but,, yeah. he didn't lie.

when it comes to your health, he's very very serious and he expects the same from everyone else you hang around

if he finds that someone around you doesn't feel that way, he would not hesitate to start an argument. you deserve the absolute best and shouldn't settle for less, he tells you

if you aren't already, you'll be in love w him by the end of your injury

park sunghoon !

sunghoon is an introvert, and because of this, he finds himself being quiet & zoning out sometimes. he has his bursts of chaotic energy like everyone else, but for the most part he observes

trying to lie to him ab being fine isn't smart. he knows you like the back of his hand. oh you thought he was staring into space? no, he was paying attention to literally everything around him, especially you

literally just the tone of your voice could change slightly and he knows something's wrong. he won't let it go either

"tell me. what's wrong? did something happen? did someone happen?"

he's naturally protective of the people around him, but you especially. you're very special to him and he likes to show it

you'd sit in his lap and tell him just about everything that's bothering you, while his hands are around your waist and he hugs you tightly

he knows he doesn't like dwelling on bad feelings himself, so his main thing would be to try and keep your mind as far drifted away from whatever's bothering you

whether it be physical contact, making jokes, reading to you, he'll do anything if it means he gets to see you smile because he knows you'd do the same for him

it's not rare for him to be affectionate, but he's usually only touchy when you guys are alone. now that he knows where your head is, he's always touching you as a way of reassurance

just so perfect in every way, doesn't at all think of you as a burden

kim sunoo !

he's definitely the type to be sad if you're sad

sunoo would walk up to you, expecting an exciting greeting. when he doesn't get that, he'd frown and immediately ask what's wrong

you'll tell him about the stomachache that's been bothering you, and he'd make you some tea and take a nap with you

it's easy to fall asleep as he traces shapes into your exposed skin

100% asking "are you okay? you're sure? do you need anything?" every five seconds

^^ make that every two seconds, actually

he's already extremely affectionate, but he usually shows it by teasing you. this time around? nuh uh, you're getting absolutely drowned in loving

just so sweet !!!!!!!! sweetest boy ever

he's so caring and forever concerned for you and how you're doing

you want soup in the middle of the night? he will sleepwalk to the damn kitchen and get the fucking job done.

yang jungwon !

he's probably used to dealing w caring for his sick members because of his leader role, but he definitely cares for you in a different way

showers you in gifts to take your mind off of your injury. buys you all different types of snacks and plushies <3

if it's something more emotional that's bothering you, there's no one else you could ask for that's better at making you feel better !!

he's so so genuine and it makes him so easy to be around ,, especially when you're dealing with problems. jungwon prides himself on how many people have told him how comfortable he makes them feel

definitely doesn't see you as a bother, and if you suggest such, you will be scolded

you're so very precious to him & he would never ever want you to feel otherwise. it's practically his duty to nurse you back into your best health so why would he ever be bothered by it??? especially when you're so wonderful to be around

his love language is definitely words of affirmation/quality time anyways, so he would never ever do anything to make you feel unwanted and is constantly reassuring you in any and every way he can

scolds redirects you when you try to do anything for yourself. "hey, let me do it, okay? you lie down."

honestly you forget you'd forget ab your problems whenever he's around, it's like his presence is the medicine to your wound

best boy <3

nishimura riki !

teases you nonstop !!

if it's something like a very small injury, he'll laugh at you as he helps your with your bandages

if it's something far more serious, he's far more serious

definitely doesn't like it if you don't take your current state seriously. you're not doing well, therefore you should be doing everything to get better. not wasting your time to make jokes. he's very rarely stern but when it comes to your wellbeing he's completely different

wouldn't get emotional unless it's something serious, and even then he wouldn't be emotional in front of you

orders you both different foods to try out of boredom each night

riki would 100% stay the night if you ask him, but if you aren't dating, he would sleep so far away unless you ask otherwise

^^ he's so cute bye

but in ending he's just super supportive and just wants the best for you, even if he teases you most of the time

!!!!!!! cutie

mywons © 2023 ## please do not plagiarize my works.

[milliesfishes]

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

[fem reader] contains: pregnancy, stillbirth, mentions of weight gain, problems during pregnancy, reader is mentioned as being petite. pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: you want a baby, but billy's hesitant. author’s note: this one's angsty and I'm unsure if it's good, but I wanted to put it out there in case anyone likes it :) Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

An outlaw’s life kept Billy away from home often, for long, long days until he’d come home to you all tired and missing you so bad it drove him insane. You’d be swaddled in his sheets, wearing one of his shirts and nothing else, your hair spread across the pillow as you slept, the covers in your fist clenched to your chest.

This was the sight that greeted him on a Friday night that wasn’t particularly special for any reason, but seeing you this way made it perfect instantly. His girl, his pretty girl fast asleep in his bed, looking so deliciously his.

Billy pulled off his work clothes, replacing them with his pajamas. He pulled back the covers just slightly on the side you were sleeping, his side, nudging you over like he did every night. He slid an arm under your side and held you close, pressing a light kiss to your shoulder. 

You stirred, humming as you woke, and he breathed out softly, half annoyed he’d woken you and half happy for the same reason. “You awake baby? ‘M sorry,” he murmured, his big hands creeping under the hem of his shirt you were wearing so he could splay his fingers out over your skin.

“You’re back.” You turned in his arms, smiling sleepily and opening your eyes.

“Go back to sleep baby.” His lips landed on your forehead, holding them there for a moment.

Shaking your head, you said, “Uh uh, I wanted to wait up for you. I fell asleep though.”

Billy couldn’t help his smile, and he brushed his thumb back and forth across your cheek. “My girl waitin’ up f’ me? How’d I get so lucky?”

“I missed you today,” you said, tilting your head up toward him. “Missed you lots.”

“Me too baby, me too,” he said, nudging another kiss onto your forehead. “I was wantin’ to come home all day, just leave the boys behind and come hold my pretty girl.”

Giggling, you looked up into his eyes. “I’m lucky you spoil me at the end of every day or else I’d be a real unhappy girl.”

He took you in, all cozy nestled against his cotton sheets that you made look like satin, settled against his covers. “‘Course I spoil my sweet baby, who wouldn’t?” Billy pulled your chin up, pressing a little kiss to your lips, nibbling gently on your bottom lip before pulling away. You pushed the blankets back so you could cuddle him closer, and he sighed. “Look atcha’, so damn cute in my shirt.”

“I like wearing them,” you murmured. “Especially when you’re gone.”

“Ya miss me that much, huh baby?” Billy smiled.

“Miss you, miss your kisses.” You smiled as he pressed his lips anywhere on your face he could reach, his stubble rubbing against your skin. “Even if they’re all scratchy.”

“Don’t like a little scruff?” he ran his fingers over his chin, feeling it. “Guess I could use a shave…”

“No don’t,” You put your hands on his cheeks, feeling it. “I love it.”

He smirked and pressed more kisses to your cheeks, stubble prickling your soft skin. “Knew ya liked a man’s kiss, yeah sweetheart? All rough on your pretty face?”

You giggled as he caught your lips again, kissing him back softly. “They feel nice.”

“Ahhh I missed this today,” Billy murmured, shifting you in his arms so your back was against his chest. He pressed his cheek to yours, leaning his head on you. “Snugglin’ ya, kissin’ ya…” One of his hands came up to your collarbone, tracing shapes there. “Lovin’ on ya…”

“You spoil me,” you repeated, feeling like a princess all cuddled into his arms. 

“Hmm, I dunno,” he rested his chin on top of your head for a second, looking down at you, eyes roving over the way his shirt had ridden up your thighs. “Pretty woman…in my bed…yeah I’m spoiled too.”

You nuzzled yourself against him. “I’m just loving on you, like you’re doing.”

“Are you lovin’ on me or lovin’ me on you?” he teased, and you squealed lightly, burying your face in his chest, much to his delight.

“C’mon baby,” he cooed at you. “Lemme see that pretty face again. Please? Wanna get a better look at my girl.”

“You look at me all the time,” you said against his chest, and he chuckled.

“Doesn’t matter. Lemme look at ya all nice ‘n slow ‘kay?” He tilted your head up, and you reluctantly looked at him

“Atta girl,” he breathed, looking over you. “There’s my girl…there’s my baby. Won’t ya turn a little?”

You moved away from him, settling on your side so he could look at you fully as he requested. You gave him a look of mock annoyance after a few seconds. “Done yet? I wanna cuddle.”

He grinned. “C’mon…I have ya in my bed and that’s all I get?” Billy stretched his arms back out for you. “Why don’t you c’mere and gimme a kiss?”

You snuggled back up to him happily, pressing a light dutiful kiss to his nose. He chuckled. “Not that kinda kiss, honey. Gimme a real one now, like a good girl.”

Rolling your eyes playfully, you leaned in, hovering your lips over his. He smiled, hands going to your hips and pulling you closer. “Quit teasing me, you…” Billy laughed and brought his lips to yours, kissing you softly, lingeringly. You kissed him back with equal fervor.

“Better?” you asked, pulling back a little. 

“Much better darlin’, much better,” Billy brought his hands around, hugging you to him, with a playful grip on your bottom.

“Mm!” you moved his hands away from there, snuggling back into him. 

“Aw c’mon baby,” he grazed his lips over your hairline, his hands moving back. “Just tryna love on my pretty girl reaall good…”

You couldn’t help your smile, and you shook your head, too comfortable in the cradle of his arms to care anymore. “You keep me too cozy to really complain if you get a little handsy.”

Billy laughed, holding her close. “What can I say? I gotta pretty little thing all snug in my bed…’s hard not to be.”

Smiling contentedly, you pressed your face into his chest. “I love you,” you murmured, smiling softly. “This is everything I’ve dreamed of.”

“Bein’ in an outlaw’s bed is everything ya dreamed of?” Billy smirked lovingly.

“I have a handsome man who loved me enough to marry me,” you corrected. “And I love him back.”

“I’m terribly grateful to love ya too, baby,” Billy kissed the top of your head. “Never thought I’d have me a wife but the one I found…oh boy is she a treasure.”

You smiled softly, looking at his hands as they shifted at your midsection, over your stomach. As your thoughts wandered, images of rounded bellies and babies with rosy cheeks and Billy’s blue eyes danced in front of your eyes. It was a vision that had haunted you for months now.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” your husband murmured, lips nudging against your neck. “Ya look happy darlin’.”

“Having babies,” you said dreamily, looking up at him. 

Billy smiled. “Havin’ babies, huh? My little one havin’ another little thing?”

“Mhmm,” you murmured, playing with his hand on your tummy.

“Ya wanna make babies with me,” he whispered against your temple. “Hmm…we could y’know. Maybe not right now, but soon.”

You frowned adorably, a little panic rising inside you. “Not right now?”

Billy shook his head, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “We wanna wait…wait ‘till you’re a little bit bigger sweet thing. Then we’ll put a baby in your belly.”

“Bigger?” your cute frown grew deeper. What did that have to do with anything?

“You’re just so little, darlin’,” he said, brushing a hand over your face. “Don’t want the baby to hurt ya. But once ya get a little bigger, then we can put a baby riiight here…” he rubbed your tummy. “Cause you’re gonna be a good little mama…”

“But I want your baby now,” you pouted, and he chuckled. 

“I know sweetheart, I know. But we gotta wait so it won’t hurt ya.” He smirked. “And then after that, we’re gonna put lots and lots of babies in your belly…” Billy kissed her cheeks teasingly. “Over ‘n over…”

You giggled, shifting comfortably on his bed, looking cozy and sweet wrapped in his arms. He held you close, like a teddy bear. “You’re gonna be real good at makin’ babies…real good…”

“I wanna make babies now,” you reached up, kissing his cheek.

“My girl wants to play house with me, huh?” Billy ran his fingers through your hair. “You wanna baby ‘n everything.”

“I want a baby that looks just like you,” you studied his features, smiling sweetly.

“Do ya?” Billy pondered this for a minute, one hand squeezing your hip. “Well the baby’s comin’ outta you, ain’t it? So it’s gonna be pretty ‘n cute like you.”

“Uh uh, I want it to look like you,” you insisted, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Gonna be a cute little thing either way, all my genes comin’ outta you,” Billy pressed kisses to your temple. “Can’t wait for you to have a belly fulla’ my baby.”

“So give me a baby now,” you whined as he kissed across your face gently.

“We gotta wait, little one,” he squeezed you against him. “If I make a baby in ya too soon it’ll hurt ya. I heard too many things about little women like you havin’ problems, baby.”

“It won’t hurt me,” you said earnestly. “I’m…I’m scared what’ll happen if we wait. What’ll happen if we don’t do it right now.”

Billy frowned, holding your head against his chest. You’d never told him anything like this before. “What’re ya scared of sweet girl?”

“My mama…” you started, your voice growing soft. “My mama had trouble getting a baby in her belly. And she waited too long and she died having me.”

The reason you wanted to do it now washed over him, and he held you a little tighter. “Oh baby,” he mumbled. “Just cause it happened to your mama don’t mean it’ll happen to you.”

“I don’t wanna risk it,” you said softly. “I want to give you a baby more than anything in the whole world. And we might lose our chance.”

“Your body’s not ready yet, my love,” Billy said softly. “Just a few more pounds and a little patience is all I ask.” He was being sweet, and you were grateful for that. But your want to give him a baby triumphed that.

“That could take years to make it stick,” you sat up in bed, looking down at him. He sat up with you, looking concerned. You were making a compelling argument.

“Baby…” he was close to being swayed. He wanted to give you whatever you wanted, after all. “The baby might have trouble comin’ outta ya…” he stroked the side of your face. “You’re just so little…”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” you moved closer to him, looking into his eyes earnestly. Now Billy could see that this was more than just talking and teasing about having babies. You wanted this, you’d wanted this a long time.

His other hand came up to your face, and you moved into his lap, straddling him. “Please Billy,” you pleaded quietly. “Please…” You took his face in your hands and kissed each cheek. “I want to give you a baby. I don’t care what it takes.”

Your earnesty moved him, and his hands came to your thighs, holding you there. You were determined, brave and reckless to want his baby this badly. So he would give in. You were his girl, his angel, and you always got what you wanted.

“Damn it sweet girl,” he murmured, kissing you softly. You wrapped yourself around him, and he held you by the hips, his lips traveling down your neck and fixing themselves to your collarbone, breathing in your sweet scent.

The two of you made love twice that night, and continued to do it every morning and evening after that. About two months or so into your endeavors, you eagerly awaited to see if your monthly would come, hoping and praying it wouldn’t. Billy hurried home every day for a week to see if you’d gotten it or not, both of your excitement growing every day you didn’t.

Until one day when he came home to you in tears, sitting on the floor of the bedroom. Immediately he rushed over, taking you in his arms. “What’s the matter darlin’?”

“I got it today,” you sniffled, as you burrowed into him, shifting uncomfortably, feeling the rag you’d stuffed into your panties soak with your womanly blood.

“Oh, baby,” Billy murmured, kissing the top of your head. “’m sorry, sweetie.”

A full two months of lovemaking turned out to be fruitless…no baby yet in your little belly.

“We’ll try ‘gain next month, sweetheart,” he promised, cradling you in his arms. “It’ll happen, just gotta be patient.”

But it didn’t happen the next month. Or the month after that. It began to take a toll on the both of them, the waiting and disappointment. You tried not to get discouraged, but it was so hard. Billy was an angel, always holding you as you cried, promising it’d happen soon, the two of you just had to wait. 

One time after you’d made love for the night, Billy came back from the washroom to find you with your back on the mattress, feet propped up against the wall. He couldn’t help his laugh. “Baby…whatcha doin’?”

“Making it take in me,” you responded, tapping your heels against the wall as if that’d make his spend glue to your insides.

“Oh really?” Billy sat on the bed with you, resting his chin on your tummy. “I dunno darlin’, that don’t seem right.”

You shushed him. “It’s gonna work.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your tummy. “Darlin’.” Another kiss. “That ain’t gonna do a thing for gettin’ a baby in ya.”

“Just lemme try,” you insisted.

Billy chuckled, shaking his head at his girl’s antics. “Alright, alright.” Another kiss to your tummy. “You give it your best shot.”

When you continued to do it every night after that, Billy would always smile and give you a kiss, lying down beside you and putting his hand over your tummy, willing a baby to grow.

But your efforts continued to wield no results.

Until one day, when you heard the familiar sound of Billy’s boots against the wooden floor, and you sprang up, running out to him and jumping into his arms, legs around his waist, arms around his neck.

“Woah there!” Billy stumbled backwards, catching you easily even though you surprised him. “Easy, easy girl. Where’s the fire?”

You said nothing, just took one of his hands off you and pressed it to your tummy, your smile radiant. His eyes widened, fingers spreading out over your midsection. “Baby…?”

Pressing yourself close to him, your face buried in his neck, you murmured, “You’re gonna be a daddy.”

He laughed joyfully and spun you around once, grabbing your jaw between his fingers and kissing you softly, sweetly. “I’m gonna be a daddy.”

You hugged him tightly, and he nosed little kisses into your hair, tucking you into him and marveling at his girl, his beautiful girl carrying his child.

As the weeks passed and your belly grew, Billy grew more clingy toward you, which you hadn’t even thought was possible. He’d come home at earlier times from riding with the gang, claiming “They can survive without me, they know my girl’s growin’ our baby at home.”

Your figure, although remaining petite, filled out a little as your body made accommodations for the little life inside you, and Billy loved it. Your breasts were bigger, your waist curvier. You were nearly goddess-like in his opinion. You, on the other hand, grew more insecure as your body changed.

“I’ve gained so much weight,” you pouted as you stood at the mirror, smoothing your dress over your belly. 

Billy came over, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, holding your baby-filled tummy. “Whatcha mean, darlin’?”

“Look at me,” you sighed frustratedly, hands coming up to your chest. “My breasts are bigger now.”

“Mm, don’t I know it,” he murmured, pressing little kisses along your shoulder and up your neck.

“Billy,” you pouted, trying to be serious. “They’re so heavy now. Hurts.”

“Ohhh my poor baby,” he said against your neck, pulling you backwards to sit on the bed, on his lap. You folded your arms over yourself, frowning adorably. “If it helps, I think you’re beautiful right now.”

You smiled just slightly, but he noticed, keeping his arms around you and whispering sweet things into your skin. “Just knew you’d be pretty as a peach carryin’ my child.”

A little laugh escaped you at that, and you leaned back into him briefly, before sitting up again. “I can’t sit on your lap, I’m too heavy now.”

Billy gave you a look, tugging you back so you were fully against him. “Baby…you got nothin’ to worry about, yeah? You’re still a cute little thing.”

“I’ve gained so much weight,” you whined, shifting in his lap.

“Well…” Billy trailed off, looking at you, his hands moving over your belly. “Cuteness adds a couple pounds I s’pose.” He kissed your cheek and with his lips still against you, said, “Your body’s growin’ a baby, honey. It’s bound to happen.”

“I just wanna be pretty for you still,” you turned sideways in his lap to look at him. 

Billy chuckled, his hand on the side of your face, thumb running over your cheekbone. “That ain’t nothin’ to worry about little one. You’re prettier now ‘n the day I met you, swear on m’ life.”

That coaxed a real smile out of you, and you nuzzled against him, content with how sweet he was being to you.

Unfortunately, the little weight you’d gained seemed to be the last of it.

As you got closer to delivery, your body began to change more, and not for the better. You started to lose weight, and your skin grew pale. Every day you became weaker, and it worried Billy beyond belief. 

But despite all this, you were happy. You were always smiling for him, always commenting on how the baby was doing, whether it was kicking or not. He played along with you, pretending that you weren’t getting worse because he knew it’d upset you if he commented on it.

As you got into your eighth month, you were practically bedridden, weaker than Billy had ever seen you. He fretted lightly, not wanting to worry you too much, but the concern was building up inside him. 

On a rainy evening, you were resting beside him, his head by your chest, close to your belly. One of your hands was resting there, the other in his hair, playing with it a little. You’d been having cramps all day, which you’d been told were common in the last little bit, so Billy had insisted you rest. He was silent, nuzzled into your side. You looked down at him. “You alright?”

Billy breathed in softly, sitting up and moving so that he was against the headboard, gently nudging you so your body was nestled against his. He looked down at you, face serious. “I’m worried about you.”

Your brow furrowed, and you tilted your head to look at him. “Why?”

“Why?” Billy asked in disbelief. “Baby. Look atcha. You’re losing weight, you’re so weak…”

“I’m fine,” you insisted, trying to sit up, but your belly made it hard. 

“You’re not though,” he rubbed his thumb over your shoulder. “You’re so pale…’n weak…” Billy trailed off, looking pained. He shook his head as he looked at you, his eyes sad. “My girl…my beautiful girl…” he mumbled, his fear growing by the minute. “You’re not okay at all.”

“I’m happy,” you said softly, touching his hand and squeezing it. “I’m so happy. I’ve got your baby inside me and that’s all I ever wanted.”

“But you’re not well sweetheart,” he murmured. Billy pressed his lips to your hair, his hand running up and down your arm. “Baby’s takin’ a lot outta you, ain’t she?”

“Don’t blame her,” you whispered, your eyes wide, hand resting protectively over your swollen belly.

“I ain’t blaming her honey,” he murmured, shaking his head, his hand coming to cover yours. “She’s a baby, she’s doin’ what babies do and she’s takin’ everything she needs to grow…but that still means you’re sufferin’ for it.” Billy brought a hand to her face, thumb running down her cheek. “She’s takin’ too much outta ya.”

“Billy it’s fine,” you tried to insist, shifting so you could sit up a little.

“Stay down sweetheart,” he murmured, keeping his hand over hers. “And no, it ain’t fine. My girl…my girl’s fadin’ away…” He looked emotional, looking down and squeezing your hand.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you squeezed his hand back. “It’s just…this is just what happens in the last months.”

“Not like this,” Billy murmured, shaking his head and bringing his hand to your face, his thumb running over your cheek, eyes searching yours as if he were going to lose you. “Even I know this ain’t regular…”

“No, I have to be fine,” you insisted, looking at him. “I have to be fine for the other babies we have.”

“Other babies?” Billy frowned, thumb still brushing the side of your face. “Sweetheart, ya can’t honestly be thinkin’ about other babies?”

“Why not?” you asked, eyes growing wide as you tried to make out if he was serious. 

His other hand came to your other cheek, and he held your face between his hands, looking earnest. “My love…at this rate, the way things are goin’...we’re not gonna be havin’ any more babies.” He was reluctant to tell her, she could tell.

Your face dropped, and your hand fell into your lap, out of his. “You can’t mean that.”

“Sweetheart,” he started, picking your hand up again. “Look at yourself. Look how weak ya are…how thin…we can’t have you gettin’ worse with each baby. This…” Billy took a deep breath. “This is the last one.”

Your heart beat faster at his words, and you looked down, shaking your head. “No, no.”

“No more babies after this one,” he said softly, lifting your chin with his hand. “I can’t let this happen again, gotta protect you. Shouldn’t have gotten ya pregnant so early anyways.”

Eyes filling with tears, you sniffled. “I wanted you to get me pregnant, I-”

“I know,” he murmured, thumb over your cheek once again. “I know. But I should have known better, should have known your body wasn’t ready.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” you whispered. 

“It’s for me to know,” he said, his eyes intense but loving as he looked into yours. “And I should have known.”

“Don’t-” you cut yourself off as a cramp overtook you, pain shooting through your body. You closed your eyes, trying to breathe and smoothing your hand over your belly. 

Billy was alert immediately, looking at you worriedly. “Sweetheart? What’s the matter?”

You gritted your teeth, the pain subsiding slightly and then coming back. This felt different from the cramps, it felt…

“Billy, you gotta get the midwife,” you got out, trying to breathe. “Something’s wrong…something’s-”

A new wave of hurt cut you off again and a little noise wrenched itself from your throat.

“Baby-”

“Please, go!” you said urgently, hands over your belly as your body was wracked with pain.

Billy didn’t waste any time, getting up and looking for his boots. He tugged them on, finding his hat and then coming back to you, taking your face in his hands. “You gotta breathe for me angel, yeah?” He kissed your forehead softly, then your nose, giving you a little smile, trying to reassure you, even though he looked concerned. “I’ll be back real soon, promise. Everything’s gonna be alright.” He pressed one more kiss to the top of your head and then he was gone, leaving you to suffer alone.

You didn’t know how much time passed, the pain being your only way of measuring it. It was searing, a biting flower blooming from your core. Praying endlessly that the baby was okay, your body twisted on the bed, trying to find relief from the limitless agony.

Finally, you heard footsteps, and then Billy was in the doorway like a saint after a storm. You cried from relief, and he hurried to you, sitting beside you and brushing hair off your sweaty face, promising it was going to be okay.

The midwife, younger than you’d expected but a source of comfort nonetheless, got to work immediately, pushing your nightdress up and examining you. She looked up after a moment. “How far along?”

“Eight months,” you managed, another bolt of pain hitting you. Billy let you squeeze his hand as hard as you wanted, not wincing once. 

After a little more inspection, the midwife nodded, looking at Billy, then you again. She carefully moved your legs so they were bent and spread. “Alright sweet girl, brace yourself. This baby’s comin’ out real soon.” 

You whimpered, and Billy squeezed your hand. “You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart. Promise, alright. ‘M right here.”

The labor was long, and you suffered through it, pushing the best you could. But your body only grew weaker as time went on, and you knew it wasn’t working, what you were doing. Everything was blurred- every one of your senses except the pain.

You heard the midwife say something to Billy, and he nodded, squeezing your hand once before letting go. Immediately, you made a noise of protest, reaching for him.

He tried to soothe you as he sat up on the bed with you, his thumb running over your cheek comfortingly. “‘M not going anywhere baby, just movin’ so we can make things easier for ya.” Billy eased his arm under you, gently lifting you to sit up. You whimpered at how uncomfortable it was, but he kissed your temple. “I know, I know. But this is gonna make it better. Baby’s gonna come out easier like this.” He positioned himself so you were between his legs, leaning back against his chest. 

In this new position, your body’s instincts took over, working to get the baby out of you. Billy’s arms were wrapped around your collarbone, careful not to touch your belly, and one of your hands gripped around him, the other holding his forearm.

“C’mon sweetheart, you can do it,” he murmured against your skin. Your body was tired, making it harder and harder to push the baby out, but you tried, knowing you had no choice.

“Is she comin’ out? Can you see her?” you gasped, chest heaving as you tried pushing again.

“Almost baby, almost,” he muttered like a mantra. “You’re so close.”

And then suddenly it was over. You felt the pain lift just a little, and then you knew the baby was out. Weakened from exhaustion, you collapsed against Billy, who held you close, carefully, kissing your head and whispering things to you. “You did it sweetheart, ’s all over, you’re alright. You’re alright.”

You were too tired to respond, closing your eyes briefly and trying to forget the pain of the last hours. When Billy’s body stiffened, you didn’t notice, face buried in him as you tried to recover.

Then you remembered your baby, and you tried to sit up, using him as support. “Billy…I wanna hold her.”

His voice was so quiet it was almost far away. “Just stay here sweetheart, rest a little while.”

“No, I wanna see her,” you tried again, but he pushed your face into his shoulder.

“No baby, y’ don’t wanna see.” His voice had a protective edge to it, but you stubbornly pushed his hand away, turning to see the baby in the midwife’s arms.

She was perfect, so little…so pale. Not moving.

Your heart dropped, and your lips parted slightly as you realized what had happened. Billy was gently trying to get you to rest against him again, but you refused, unable to tear your eyes away.

The midwife’s face was somber, and she handed the baby over to Billy, who held her with one arm. “Hold her for a bit…I’m so sorry.” She left the room.

Billy held her gently, keeping his other arm around you. He looked from the baby’s face to yours, looking panicked. “Sweetheart, I-”

You shook your head, reaching out and touching your daughter’s face gently, tracing a hand down her cheek. The silence in the room was palpable.

“She’s so beautiful,”  you finally whispered, gaze drawn to her like a magnet. 

“She is,” Billy said softly, and you could hear the tears in his voice.

Staring down at your lifeless baby girl, you took her from Billy, holding her close, the dark curtain of mourning shutting around you. You imagined the life she could have had, how much you would have loved her, how much you did love her.

Finally, you kissed her tiny forehead, whispering, “I’m sorry sweetheart.” Then, seeing the midwife re-enter the room, you relinquished your daughter to be taken to the grave.

Billy watched all this with silent tears running down his cheeks, but you paid him no mind until the midwife had taken your daughter away, and that was when you broke.

You turned into him, fresh tears falling fast, and he sheltered you in his arms, his nose buried in your hair. “She…she…”

“I know,” he murmured tearfully. “I know.”

The two of you were back where you started, holding each other tightly, but this time shrouded in grief.

come talk about billy here!

[lyricalt]

[tf2 mini fic] no bark

(Sniper/Spy, PG)

bonus scene for all bite. i feel insane for this.

+++

The second time Sniper wears the collar, they get used to it.

Spy sits at Sniper’s small dining set up in the camper van—though sitting might be a generous term with Sniper invading his space, almost in his lap. One end of the leash hangs around Spy’s wrist, dangling loose. The other hand is at Sniper’s neck, fondling the collar and scratching at the skin under. Spy trails his fingers upward to Sniper’s cheek, pressing his mouth along Sniper’s jaw, murmuring in French.

“What a good dog I have. So cute.”

Sniper huffs. “If you’re gonna tell me what a good boy I am, I’d like to hear it in English.”

“So cute,” Spy repeats in English. He gives more kisses that Sniper leans into. “Adorable. Smarter than he lets on.”

Sniper smiles, wry, and Spy cant help but put his fingers along that slanted mouth. He’s quite lucky Sniper enjoys it too. When he presses his thumb at Sniper’s lips, Sniper gives it a gentle nip.

“Takes treats gently,” Spy adds, wishing he could’ve given Sniper a smoke. “Eager to please.”

Sniper looks like he wants argue that particular point. It’s a bit of a stretch. He proves it by turning that playful nip into a bite over Spy’s hand. He crowds Spy into the wall, the dining seat barely fitting them both.

“Mostly obedient,” Spy grudgingly admits, though he isn’t too unhappy about it. He wrenches his hand free, the imprints of Sniper's teeth stark against his skin.

Sniper must really like to hear him talk, deep down. His worst kept secret. He kisses Spy everywhere but the mouth. So Spy keeps talking. 

“A little dirty,” Spy notes, as Sniper bites and sucks at the base of his shoulder.  He firmly pats Sniper’s ass, the dust coming off his jeans in comical clouds of dirt. Sniper had been out trawling the grounds earlier, checking the perimeter of the base. Possibly rolling in a garden bed or two.

“Stinks a bit.” But the sweat isn’t anything new. Spy sighs, not bothering to give a pretend sniff. He knows the odor of someone who hasn’t showered in a day or so and wears no cologne. Other than what’s rubbed off from Spy. "Stinks a lot, actually."

Sniper stops necking him. “Hey.”

“Not housebroken, sadly,” Spy continues, smirking. “But what can you do with an outdoor stray.”

“Reckon you can go back to speaking French now.”

Spy obliges, not missing a beat. “Doesn’t know how much I want to keep him anyway.”

They stare at each other. It only lasts for a second. Sniper turns a brilliant shade of red. Snorting, Spy pats Sniper’s overly warm cheek, though he fears he might also have a flush peeking through the mask. Could be from anything, really. He tugs the leash, collar correcting Sniper’s attention. 

Sniper gladly buries his face into Spy’s neck again, likely thankful Spy isn’t going to see how his face continues to burn. He chooses not to respond. Smart. Spy would have accused him of mistranslating. 

But in the end, there’s very little to translate when Spy unclasps the collar, putting it aside for another time, and Sniper grins and falls back into his arms.

[helluva-shit-show]

I swear I don't hate the show, I don't even hate any of the ladies above, not even Stella, it's just insanely unfair how the women get treated in Helluva.

And no, I don't need the creators of any given media to hold my hand and walk me through every tiny choice made by every character in said media.

Of course I can infer that Stella grew up in the same pre-determined mold Stolas was forced into. Of course I can infer that she learned tantrum behavior and violence probably got her what she wanted so her royal parents didn't have to hear it.

I can infer that Barbie self harms bc a tiny thin scar doesn't form a perfect circle around your forearm by accident, and an "X" doesn't perfectly cross out a tattoo that probably causes you great trauma to look at every day, on accident. Her tail scars are deeply concerning and saddening to think about, bc again, why do they PERFECTLY match her twin brother's natural markings? I can infer that his actions, intentional or not, deeply traumatized her, and her response was to remove a piece of herself that reminded her of him. It's dark, it's mature, it's compelling and it makes sense. The issue is, it will probably never be touched on.

I adore Millie, I adored her before season two was even announced. To the contrary, I actually don't care if she ever gets a deep deep dive at her backstory. There have been PLENTY of male characters across all kinds of media that are simply psychotic little murder gremlins, and no one ever bats an eye at it. I adore her as the murder gremlin queen she is. But as she's main cast, it's incredibly unfair by comparison how she gets utilized and how she doesn't. One minute she can take down a 60 meter tall fish monster single handedly, the next minute, because the plot wants this to be about the bois, a single hit breaks her arm to the point that BONE IS PIERCING THROUGH HER SKIN, and she just happens to get thrown directly into the world's MOST CONVENIENTLY PLACED AND ARMED bear-trap ever. It doesn't snag her face, her hair, or her hand or arm or torso or back, she falls just perfectly that her leg is just perfectly in its jaws. No arteries got caught? There's not an excess of blood, she's by the show's own dialogue, "fine." But she's benched for the rest of the episode.

And maybe it wouldn't be so bad from the critical eye if the excuse given for it wasn't SO hollow. "Helluva is more male focused and Hazbin is more female focused." Ma'am. Who do you think you're fooling out here. Angel Dust and Alastor built the HH fandom. Do you expect me to believe Mimzy or Niffty are going to be treated any better than the Helluva gals? Mimzy is literally already on the wiki as a "minor character".

It's truly ok to focus your story on males. There is literally a whole genre of anime focused on mostly male stories. But if someone, or a lot of someones, feel your female cast is lacking in substance, I find it insulting to dismiss them and say they're misreading the media and nitpicking. They care about the show, YOUR show, they care about YOUR characters, if you can remember back when you were a smaller creator HERE on tumblr, ppl love when you ask them about their OCs. And you don't have to spit out a quick bs backstory to your character if you haven't given it much thought, that's not what anyone is asking for. (Cough, Unhappy Campers, COUGH).

Idk how to wrap this critique up, so I'm just gonna say, Moxxie's mom is too badass to be Mrs. Knofirstname Knolastname. 🤡

[the-togepi-man]

How do you deal with loving multiple people? I've been with my BF for almost a decade and I love him to pieces. Over COVID I made a new gay friend and started having feelings for him. We've hung out a few times and there's always this tension and pretty obvious desire between us. Still I prefer monogomy and wouldn't betray my partner like that. I talked to my partner about these feelings and he gave me a hall pass to fool around with my friend but I felt like that just made my feelings more complicated. Now my friend just recently got into a new serious relationship and I'm really happy for him but also it sortve broke my heart? I just feel like the most selfish person and I don't really have anyone to talk to about these feelings. Everyone has been understanding but I just feel like a monster all the time.

Awesome question, anon I'm going to put the tl;dr up here, then do more under the cut. I feel you, friend. There are days I still wake up and think "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve the love or kindness or patience to figure this out." "Some people search their whole lives for someone like my partner. I am spoiled and bad for loving more., wanting(?) more." But that's not true. You learn by unlearning. Love isn't something that can follow a textbook definition. Relationships are complicated and intricate and trying to put them in a category is stressful and will make you feel bad. I can speak on that from example right now. I love Sean so much that I can't imagine a world where I am not supporting and loving him and saying "thats my man." But I am also quite frankly, falling for another friend who I have been falling for for a few months now.

You learn to accept loving multiple people when you realize your human experience is yours alone to act on

I wont lie and tell you I have all of this beat. I still worry that I am the right thing for Sean (my partner.) I worry that he is one of the most amazing people I have met in my entire life and that he deserves so much more than what I provide. However... I have talked to him about it. And something he loves about me, is that I have that capacity to love. Not to mention, people are not meant to "belong" to someone. If he was unhappy or saw no future, he could have cut this off and lived a life of his own choosing. That's how relationships work. Who I am and WHAT I am bring something to his life that helps he grow and provides something that he wants to nurture and love. I am insanely proud of you for talking to your partner about your feelings. A lot of people don't make it that far. Some relationships don't survive that talk. So talking to your partner as the first step is incredibly powerful. Keep that dialogue open, allow for them to have a space where they can dip out, but also let them know how much you appreciate being able to share these feelings and work through them together.

It sounds like your partner is aware of your feelings and understands that life isn't black and white, and the norms we have established as a society. I think it might also worth be exploring why *you* think you prefer monogamy. Personally I think monogamy is all well and good, and while i wish I could just be a "one and done" kinda guy- I know that's not my heart. I have two friends who have been together forever, and they are also open. While one does fall in love, he also knows he is monogamous in that regard because he just doesn't have the time to provide for two people personally because of how busy his life is and will be. But that doesn't mean he loves anyone any less, he just has his definition of love and what he's looking for. I think in a relationship, if you show that you care and provide and put effort in to that bond, that's what counts. Sean has no doubt in his mind that I love him and still love him even when I've fallen head over heals as I have for someone while I write this. After all, love isn't a pie chart. You don't love one person 70% and another 30%. Each person is their own precious bond, so why should you have to assign them basic terms when that just doesn't do? In my heart I know my love for Sean hasn't wavered at all. So I continue to show that. My partner (and maybe partners one day) are a prize to be won every day, so I will always make sure I follow that philosophy. All this is to say, you have to create your own definition for what love is based on how you feel and what your morals are. It sounds like you're going about this in a way where you're the only one who is really in danger of getting hurt, and man, more than anything I feel you. You're not carrying that weight alone. I can't say it's easy, nor is there a right answer. If the guy I'm in love with (who isn't Sean) got in to a relationship right now, I know it would really do some serious damage to my heart. But that's what I told myself might happen, thats part of being in love and caring about someone. You want to see them happy. It could happen while single too. It's just how life goes. I talk to Sean about it all the time, and how scared I get that he might leave us- even though he's not even *with* us. I am really rambling here, but I guess I am just trying to say that, from what you've said- You're operating as a good person. You love your partner, and have love in your heart for others. You are acting with kindness, you are acting to make sure that nobody besides you feels bad. Your feelings are valid. No matter what anyone says, your feelings are valid.

The human heart isn't something that operates on logic. It follows no societal norms, it challenges your brain, and refuses to silence itself. Which is exactly why you need to listen to it, if only to help yourself understand that your world isn't black and white. You are not evil for loving more than one person.

Keep trucking, anon. Don't beat yourself up over who you are, and show yourself some kindness, as you clearly do for everyone who is involved with you

[aroaceconfessions]

i feel so alone. everyone thinks sex is essential in a romantic relationship. i want love. i want a beautiful romantic partnership. but i don't want sex. i just can't do it. i'm trans and it would make me insanely dysphoric, aside from maybe a few acts, but even then i wouldn't want to do it as often as i'm "supposed" to. everyone around me thinks sex is a "need" in a relationship, a dealbreaker. it's fucking depressing. it doesn't matter how good of a partner you are, how much you click, how much of an emotional bond you've built. if sex is off the table, they're "unsatisfied". the relationship is unhappy despite everything else being great. i'm sorry, i struggle so hard to empathise with that. my comfort should be more important than your orgasms. the bond and life we build together should be more important than your orgasms. and at the end of the day, you still have two hands. cope.

i feel like i see so many horror stories from ace people where their partner values sex more than the comfort and boundaries of the person they supposedly love, and it's so accepted and normal to behave that way. so many stories where the ace person made it very clear that they would not be having sex and the partner seemed fine with it until time went on and they became resentful. and the comments on these posts are always like "but remember it's okay to need sex in a relationship that's fine too :)" like yeah no shit!! that's already what we're told!! that's literally what's expected!! most people want sex in their relationships. you aren't the one who's going to have trouble finding a partner because of this expectation. why are YOU so worried? why did you need to butt in and make it about you?

i'm so sure i'm gonna be single forever at this point. how am i ever going to find someone? i just can't wrap my brain around why everyone worships sex. really i can't

Submitted May 19, 2023

[crimeronan]

Would love so so much for you to elaborate on the happiest looks for the oc quartet and what took you by surprise about them and what you think each of them conveys/implies. Sol I'm seeing longer hair and more comfortable less exposing clothing, etc, but can you talk a little about what each of their happiest option looks means and how it took you by surprise and how it contrasts with the reality and why it would be them at their best? thank you!! if you do

oh this is so sweet 🥺 thank u for permission to infodump about my guys.....

reference images here!

i often joke that devin and i have the same gender feelings in opposite directions, which basically boil down to, "i know i'd be a lot happier with my body on prescription hormones, but i am Way too sick right now to give a fuck."

so like. a happier devin is one who's been on E for years and grown her hair out for just as long. i was taken by surprise by Just How Femme she was (...similar to me having some weird masc revelations doing the same exercise for my idealized self).

also was mildly surprised that her clothing remained exactly the same as in the main verse. i played around with all the other clothing options, but a black tank top + ratty pants + bare feet are all Quintessential Devin Items.

the very visible scarring is bc she's never cared if people see that her body is fucked up & i want that to be true in the happy timeline too.

ruby's surprised me in that i didn't have to change much at all to get her Idealized External Self. she's already pretty true to what brings her joy. in professional environments, her clothes are much more muted, but everything she's wearing could come out of her non-work wardrobe.

her hair is worn fluffy instead of in box braids because she would Love to dye her natural hair like this. however she does Not love the need to carve out time and motivation to maintain it every damn day for the rest of fucking eternity, so. box braids it is!

also important is that ruby isn't wearing anything practical. those sandals aren't safe for difficult hikes/on-your-feet labor. that skirt is a massive mound of fabric. that jewelry gets in the way, that shirt has no armoring or support, she hasn't prioritized pockets or a practical bag or hidden defense weapons or anything. this ruby is free of basically all of the responsibility and weight dragging her main timeline self down

sol's long hair surprised me -- she had long hair when she was much younger & she has not wanted to grow it out again for trauma reasons. but she likes it better long. so a long-haired sol is one who's overcome at least some of her trauma. her hair has been silver since birth but the white streaks signify that she's aging gracefully & older than she ever expected to become

as for her clothes, it's comfy athletic wear that she's wearing for the sake of mobility and comfort. (with the red-and-black shoes to sneak in a little of her murder aesthetic.) in the main timeline, she'd SAY that she dresses for herself, but the amount of sharp & tailored & restrictive clothing she wears is.... Definitely for other people. or at least, it's for preserving her own image toward other people.

and then transmasc butch nova. LMAO. GOD.

main timeline nova puts an insane amount of effort into "i'm a pretty barbie girl <333" and has sunk So Much of her self-worth into being blonde and blue-eyed and glowing and gorgeous. she also has watercolor sleeve tattoos, but when i did her full-body picrew tats, black ink felt..... more correct. like. what would your tats look like if you weren't a Rainbow Goddess of Light

and then the rest of it is also very. what would you be if you weren't a Rainbow Goddess of Light. if you take away all the Rainbow Goddess of Light features, nova is.... desperately unhappy. and desperately compensating for something. and i think having top surgery and working as a butch car mechanic somewhere would fix her.

as for the pink shoes and hot topic jewelry, that's just bc i think nova would find it fun to do gnc nonsense. nova-without-divinity isn't A Man or fully married to doing Man Things... i feel like it would be wrong for her to just go as gung-ho for performative masculinity as her main timeline self does for performative femininity. nova-without-divinity is wearing whatever she wants and looking however she wants and being hilarious and delightful while she does it <3 god bless.

[reddtea]

I think it would be interesting for batman villains to display different responses to extreme trauma. Not just insanity, make them less insane insane as they are just making sense of what happened to them in the most reasonable way they feel works.

Ivy in my world is a politician until she's assaulted and dumped into bog to never be seen again. Reborn as a spirit of nature, not particularly human, and by the way she was gotten rid of; it's made clear that she's unwanted. She gets back at those who wronged her and slander her by eating them alive as a monster that may wear the face of a woman but is no longer human at all.

Riddler doesn't even conceptualise that his way of growing up isn't normal. Watching peers get trapped and killed in training trials isn't normal. Being ordered to regularly kill your friends isn't normal. Which is why he sees it to be acceptable to put other people in his killer escape rooms and sometimes the answer to getting out is to kill the other person trapped with you to get through.

Scarecrow is a guy that is scared of lashing out, under near constant stress of a demon that follows him around as a protector. He's afraid of it lashing out to a percieved threat and getting him into serious trouble. So he hides away absolutely terrified of the world and of the demon that will slaughter anybody who may threaten him.

Two-face is not split personality he's a man trying to reconcile the personality he puts out to the public, good and reliable Harvey and the absolute pain of having half of his face disfigured (cut off and burned) trying to play off the incident as nothing that can keep him down but knowing that getting into office and not complying with those who hurt him will result in him getting the other half agonisingly ripped off, if he makes THEM unhappy.

Joker...I prefer him as a plot device that other people have opinions on than an actual character. I like the idea of joker's son wanting to kill joker, to be ashamed of being related to him. Joker's son looking at batman and asking him what does blood mean when they've killed someone you care about, and saying that there's no amount of redemption or justification in the world that could make him forgive joker for killing his best friend (practically brother) so the guy needs to die.

I want insanity to come as a result of something, to have it be the most functional response to the most horrible incident. It's not one bad day, it's an upbringing that tried to wipe out a person to turn you into a tool, a purposeful attempt to dehumanize you erase you and everything you sought to build, it's a life time of terror and not being capable of asking for help for something that's beyond anyone's understanding, it's alienating the people you thought were your friend's because they don't have anything to offer when you're in the worst position of your life, it's being told to not be angry to be quiet and let it be and trust the adult who's already failed you in the one thing that's ever mattered to you and watching as they continue to to fail you and still ask you to not get mad.

I'd like a batman that asks what's more crazy? To keep pushing people and expecting nothing to ever give or to believe that people who have no basis of understanding of what proper kindness or mercy is to begin with because they've never received it in the acceptable means to know how to be good correctly.

[rin-fukuroi]

𝐀 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥 [𝐋𝐮𝐨𝐜𝐡𝐚]

Please do not translate or publish my works without my permission.

The originals of my works can be read here

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail Pairings: puppeteer!Luocha x fem!reader Warnings: i think nothing, except that this work is simply saturated with tension and a gloomy atmosphere with hints of serious crimes

Note: English is not my native language, so I apologize if there are errors in the text qq

Happy last Halloween! I'm a little late, but still want to share this amazing man, revealed, imho, in full glory in this story. I hope u enjoy it (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

These are troubled times on Lofu. Your superiors strongly recommended not to delay work and immediately return home before dark, focusing on the fact that young girls like you are now in particular danger after recent unpleasant events that have plunged most of the population into fear. Yes, the girls disappear one by one, leaving no clues behind, and the General in particular is concerned about this problem, which created even more panic. But you were surprisingly calm, lazily wandering through the streets after another tiring day in the warm light of the night lanterns illuminating Lofu. What a foolishness to try to avoid something inevitable, if fate has a predetermined destiny in store for you. Besides, you are quite able to stand up for yourself, so the tense atmosphere hovering over the deserted paths caused you only fits of irritation.

How amazing — you thought to yourself when your eye was attracted by a showcase with unusual-looking mannequins. You've never seen anything so extraordinary. The skill of the person who created something like this is really admirable, forcing you to stop and carefully study every small detail in exquisite outfits, but what interested you most of all was how frighteningly realistic the faces of these fake girls looked, exposed behind the glass of a spacious window overlooking the main street of Lofu.

How much time did the artist spend painting these eyes, in which you can read so many emotions that your heart involuntarily freezes in your chest? One of the mannequins seems insanely sad, as if frozen forever personification of the sorrow of all living things, which is reflected in these brilliant blue irises, which almost bring tears. The other pair of eyes was permeated with fear, which you felt somewhere in your stomach, unable to take your eyes off those barely noticeable furrowed eyebrows and brown eyes, which seemed to fade right at this moment when life leaves them. But none of those faces seemed happy to you.

What an interesting approach.

You carefully open the heavy vintage doors, stepping inside. Your ankles seem to be pinned to the floor when you freeze, looking around a gloomy room that looks more like a small museum. These dolls… are like the victims of a madman who forever made unhappy women freeze at the most tragic moment of their lives. You feel nausea rising in your throat, and your heart stops in your chest. You can almost hear voices begging you for help, but you are inevitably consumed by a feeling of utter despair and powerlessness, forcing you to remain only an indifferent spectator. No work of art has ever aroused so many emotions in you, displacing any thoughts from your head.

Stunningly.

— Oh, I'm sorry for my long absence, I didn't hear you come in. Welcome, — a soft, sugary male voice literally pulls you out of a completely different dimension, bringing you back to the reality in which you are frozen like these mannequins, silently and hopelessly suffocating in a whirlwind of emotions swirling in this dimly lit room.

Your eyes meet green eyes that seemed even less filled with life than the dolls surrounding the man they belong to. For a moment it even seemed to you that one of the mannequins was talking to you, this man looks so unrealistically beautiful. Pale, like porcelain skin, perfectly styled golden curls falling neatly over his shoulder, and an unusual outfit for Lofu, as elegant as the manner of speech of a stranger.

— That's all… Did you do it yourself? — you again glance at the numerous mannequins neatly arranged around the room.

— It's great, isn't it? — the man's lips are touched by a soft smile, exuding benevolence, which frighteningly contrasts with the atmosphere of the store.

— Y-yes, but… would anyone buy such big dolls?

— Oh, no, no, dolls are not for sale. They are from my personal collection, — the man's warm voice oozes with the pride inherent in a real artist, whose skill you would not even dare to doubt, looking at the terrible art created by his hands. But it's beautiful in its eccentricity, and you relax a little, grabbing the handle of your bag, before coming closer to the doll, a little like you, dressed in an exquisite long dress, exposing expressive collarbones and the curve of the neck due to thin straps and an almost provocative neckline, perfectly balancing on the verge of vulgarity and sexuality. — I suppose you came here because you liked one of the outfits? I could help with that.

You flinch when a man's voice is heard so close, forcing you to turn around, meeting his gaze in almost indecent proximity.

— Hm-m… Yeah, this dress would look perfect on you. Do you want to try it on?

— Hah, I hardly think something so exquisite will suit me. But you are still a true master of your craft! These mannequins… Amazing.

— How sad it is to hear such words from such a beautiful lady, — fingers in a black glove, contrasting with the white clothes of a man, cling to a couple of strands of your hair, causing the same strained but warm smile on the stranger's face. — However, discard excessive praise. I'm just a traveling merchant.

For some reason, you don't pull away from his touch, which is too intimate for the first meeting, while continuing to remain calm.

— Come on. I can't imagine how much effort you put into creating these masterpieces.

— Ha-ha, I am flattered to hear such a thing from such a lovely visitor! I suppose I can say that this is all the result of pure inspiration.

— And what inspires you? — you glance again at one of the dolls, frozen in a sitting position with a book in her hand in a vintage chair behind the man.

— People, — light green irises sparkle, looking into your dilated eyes. — I am inspired by the people who come here. Even you… You'd make an amazing doll.

Your heart skips a beat in your chest, and you awkwardly look away, blushing slightly from the compliment that none of the men who have appeared in your life have given you.

— Well… I don't even know what to say to that, — you giggle softly, shifting from one foot to the other, still feeling the gaze of the blonde on you.

— There's no need to say anything. How about I make a dress especially for you? I assure you, it will be more beautiful than all those with which my modest store is now filled.

— No, no! I don't have enough money to pay for manual work, especially custom-made!

— Haha, you're adorable. I think the fact that you brightened up my evening and have already become my muse will be enough as payment for my work.

Your cheeks flush even more from the flattering words coming from the suspended tongue of the merchant.

— Who am I to stop an artist from creating, — an awkward laugh escapes from your chest. — Then I'll come to you tomorrow?

The man smiles, gently nodding his head.

— Of course. I'll be waiting for you for at least an eternity.

Slightly confused, but with a pleasantly elated mood, you were already ready to jump out of the store and return to your usual route to the house, when suddenly you stop at the door, hurriedly turning around.

— Excuse me, may I ask your name?

For a moment, it seemed to you that you saw the mask on the man's face crack when he freezes in the same place where you were standing a few minutes ago, looking at a doll that looks like you.

— My name is Luocha, — the merchant pulls a friendly smile again, scanning your figure with his gaze. — I can't wait for the day when you add to my collection.

His words seemed strange to you, but you politely bowed before saying goodbye and leaving the mysterious shop. Passing further down the street, you turn around for the last time, noticing how the lights go out inside the shop. There was something in this place that fills your chest with an inexplicable mixture of warmth and anxiety. But, anyway, one thing you knew for sure — you definitely had to come back to see this man again.

Luocha, is that what he said? You are sure that fate did not order you to be in this place on this deserted day for nothing. For some reason, the thought has settled in your head that this new acquaintance has just marked the beginning of something inevitable that you cannot resist. It's as if the current is taking you in a direction that is so unknown, but so attractive that you don't want to resist, and you can't wait for the day when you can contemplate the masterpiece created by this unknown artist.

And the artist can't wait for the day when you will become a real treasure in his gallery.