#i was born in 2018 and i still listen to one direction

[cozyy-cat]

in 10 years kids are gonna look at this and cry about being born in the wrong generation

[mononijikayu]

happy together ─ geto suguru and gojo satoru

As you observed the intimate exchange between them, you couldn't help but feel a warmth spreading in your heart. Your love was palpable, radiating from their gaze and enveloping you in its comforting embrace. It was a reminder that amidst the uncertainty and challenges of life, the love shared between kindred souls could serve as a beacon of hope and solace. If there was any possibility to split a soul into three, perhaps it was born into life just for you. You were each other’s fate, come what may. That’s what you think. You know that they wouldn’t have it any other way either. Life made sense when you were happy together. And now you are. 

GENRE: Hidden Inventory Arc - Shinjuku Showdown Arc, 2006/2007 - 2018;

WARNING/s: Alternate Universe ─ Canon Divergence, Humor, Romance, Afterlife, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Character Death, Mention of Grief, Mention of Mourning, Depiction of Physical Touch, Fluff, Mild Angst, Pining, Reunion, House of Three;

masterlist

kayu's playlist, side 400;

listen: happy together by the turtles

note: i speed-wrote this because i had some time while i took a break from doing my school work. i love this one, you guys. cause they finally realized they should be a throuple!!! anyway, installment one done!!! enjoy it you guys!!! i love you <333

WAKING UP WAS QUITE AN EXPERIENCE. As consciousness flooded back into your senses, you could feel your entire body jolt with a sudden shock, gasping for air as your eyes snapped open, wide with alarm. It was as if you had been yanked back from the brink of oblivion, returning to the realm of the living from where you had lain, motionless. 

Beads of sweat dotted your temples, evidence of the intense ordeal you had just endured, while short, ragged breaths escaped your lips in quick succession, reminiscent of a runner finishing a grueling marathon. A chill ran down your spine, sending shivers rippling through your body, and you couldn't help but purse your lips as you sat in the eerie stillness that surrounded you. 

Perched on the cold, unforgiving metal benches, you made a conscious effort not to lose your balance; after all, you were already prone to clumsiness. Amidst the disorienting haze that clouded your mind, one thought echoed louder than the rest: what was happening? It was a question that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness, filling you with an overwhelming sense of dread and confusion.

As your eyes slowly begin to adjust to the glaring light assaulting them, you find yourself struggling to make sense of your surroundings. Every movement you make seems to flow effortlessly, your Jujutsu uniform clinging to your form, the bright yellow hoodie swaying gently against the back of your neck with each subtle shift. Squinting against the harsh brightness, your brow furrows in a gesture of discomfort before you finally manage to lift your gaze, revealing the source of the intense illumination: those bright, beaming lights overhead. A low growl of frustration rumbles silently in your throat, but you force yourself to look away, tenderly massaging your sensitive eyes in an attempt to ease the discomfort.

Yet, as you blink and open your eyes once more, a sudden realization strikes you like a bolt of lightning. Those lights—there's something undeniably familiar about them. In fact, they feel more familiar to you than you would have ever dared to hope. Casting your gaze around the vast expanse before you, you take in the massive glass windows, the endless rows of metal benches mirroring the one you occupy. Above, the wide expanding upper floors look like a circular maze, the long white columns stretching towards the heavens. Bright signs adorned with directional arrows point the way to terminal gates, their bold letters beckoning travelers onward.

Your mouth falls slightly agape, rendered speechless by the bewildering scene unfolding before you. Thoughts whirl through your mind in a chaotic frenzy. "Huh?" you inwardly mumble to yourself, confusion clouding your thoughts. "Why am I in Okinawa again?"

As you attempted to rise to your feet, a wave of dizziness washed over you, causing the room to spin alarmingly. "Too fast," you chastised yourself inwardly, recognizing the consequence of your sudden movement. The sensation of disorientation only intensified as you took in your surroundings—an empty, eerily silent airport devoid of any signs of life. This wasn't at all how you remembered Naha Airport from your previous visit with Satoru and Suguru, accompanied by Kuroi and Riko. Back then, it had been a bustling hub of activity, teeming with excited travelers eager to explore the exotic wonders of Okinawa or reluctant city-dwellers bidding farewell to the island paradise.

Your lips pressed together in a thin line as you made your way toward the expansive window, the view beyond revealing a grounded plane sitting desolately on the tarmac, devoid of any passengers or activity. Confusion gnawed at the edges of your mind as you struggled to piece together the fragmented puzzle of your current situation. The effort only served to exacerbate the pounding ache in your head, each attempt at coherence feeling like a futile road to go down on. 

With each step towards the large window space, the weight of uncertainty pressed down upon you, adding to the throbbing ache in your head. Outside, the sight of the motionless plane sitting abandoned on the tarmac only deepened your sense of bewilderment. People would be here, no, you stopped yourself, they should be here. It was a stark contrast to the lively scenes you remembered from your previous visit, where the airport buzzed with the energy of travelers coming and going.

As you stood there, gazing out at the empty runway, a flurry of questions raced through your mind. How had you ended up here, alone in this deserted airport? Where were Satoru and Suguru? And what had happened to the vibrant atmosphere you had once experienced in Naha Airport? More importantly, what was the reason of you being here? And why are you all alone? You wouldn’t have gone here alone. Not by your own will, not at all.

Attempting to piece together the fragmented memories of your journey only served to exacerbate the pounding ache in your head. Frustration simmered beneath the surface as you struggled to make sense of the inexplicable situation unfolding before you. Your hands slides down to the depths of your uniform pockets and you gather yourself for a moment. Being frustrated wouldn’t do you good. With a heavy sigh, you leaned against the windowpane, your thoughts swirling in a whirlwind of confusion and uncertainty.

In the midst of the desolation, a pang of longing surged within you, a sudden ache for Suguru's comforting presence. He had always been the anchor to your tumultuous emotions, his touch a source of solace that grounded you in reality. You could almost feel the warmth of his hand enveloping yours, offering reassurance in times of uncertainty. Suguru possessed an innate gentleness, a kindness that seemed to radiate from his very being. He had a way of easing your burdens, providing comfort and relief to the pain that lingered within you. It was as if he carried a piece of sunshine wherever he went, banishing darkness with his unwavering warmth.

As thoughts of Suguru lingered, your mind drifted to Satoru, another pillar of strength in your life. Despite his penchant for cheesy dad jokes, he had a knack for lifting spirits and bringing smiles even in the darkest of times. You could almost hear his infectious laughter echoing in the empty halls of the airport, a reminder of the joy he brought to those around him. You missed the sound of his laughter, the way it bubbled up before he could even deliver one of his infamous jokes.

With a heavy sigh, you scanned the barren surroundings, searching for any sign of life amidst the desolate emptiness that surrounded you. It felt as though you were trapped within your own cage of loneliness, yearning for the comforting presence of those who had always been there to chase away the shadows of doubt and despair.

As you stood there, adrift in the labyrinth of your own thoughts, the sudden intrusion of a voice shattered the eerie silence enveloping the abandoned airport. Its resonance seemed to reverberate through the desolate expanse of the airport lounge, punctuating the solitude with an unexpected interruption. Startled by the intrusion, you pivoted on your heels to locate its source, your senses heightened by the jarring contrast between the stillness and the sudden commotion.

There, amidst the ghostly surroundings, you caught sight of Amanai Riko racing towards you, tears tracing a glistening trail down her cheeks. Her frantic footsteps echoed off the empty walls, each stride a testament to the urgency of her approach. The sight of her tear-streaked face stirred a mixture of emotions within you, a blend of concern and bewilderment at the unexpected encounter.

"Hey, are you alright?" Riko's voice called out, trembling with emotion, as she hurried toward you. Her hands moved frantically, checking your sides, your face, your hair, as though uncertain of what to do but driven by an urgent need to ensure your well-being. Confusion clouded your mind as you tried to make sense of her actions, her touch both comforting and disconcerting in equal measure. Tears welled in her eyes, her distress palpable, and without a word, you found yourself enveloped in her embrace. “You’re here, I can’t believe you’re right here. I found you!”

You could feel the warmth of her tears soaking into your Jujutsu uniform, her apologies whispered between sobs. The sight of her vulnerability stirred a myriad of emotions within you, leaving you momentarily stunned into silence. Slowly, you reciprocated her embrace, your arms encircling her as you gently brushed her hair, urging her to release her pent-up emotions. Despite your own confusion, your instinct was to offer comfort, to be a source of solace in her time of need.

At that moment, questions lingered on the tip of your tongue, but you pushed them aside, prioritizing Riko's emotional well-being over your own uncertainties. All that mattered was being there for her, providing whatever support and comfort you could offer in the face of her tears.

"I'm so sorry," Riko choked out, her words muffled against the fabric of your shirt, her voice heavy with emotion. “I’m so so sorry!”

Confusion swept over you like a tidal wave, threatening to engulf your senses as you struggled to comprehend the depth of her distress. Yet, despite the uncertainty swirling within your mind, your instinct was to offer comfort, to provide solace in whatever way you could. With a gentle squeeze, you conveyed reassurance, a silent reminder that you were there for her, unwavering in your support.

"It's okay, Riko," you whispered softly, your voice a gentle murmur against the backdrop of her tears. Each syllable carried the weight of understanding and empathy, a soothing balm to the turmoil of emotions swirling around you. "Don't worry about it. You don't ever have to apologize for anything, darling girl."

"But! But….I just!" Riko's voice wavered, interrupted by sobs that threatened to overwhelm her.

"Shhh…" You cooed, your words a comforting melody as you gently hushed her protests. A soft laugh escaped your lips, the sound echoing against the strands of her hair as you held her close. "I don't know why you're apologizing, but it's okay. I'm not mad about anything."

As Riko's sobs gradually subsided, you cast a glance over her shoulder, noting Kuroi Misato's approach with a gentle smile gracing her lips. "Hey," Kuroi greeted softly, her voice carrying a warmth that belied the complexity of emotions swirling within her.

Despite the outward display of kindness, there lingered a subtle hint of unease in Kuroi's expression, a flicker of guilt that caught your attention like a shadow in the midst of sunlight. It was a discordant note amidst the tranquility of the moment, leaving you with a sense of disquiet that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

As you pondered the significance of Kuroi's demeanor, a myriad of questions danced through your mind, each one seeking to unravel the mystery shrouding her intentions. Yet, try as you might, the elusive truth remained just beyond your grasp, leaving you to grapple with an unsettling sense of uncertainty. As Riko gradually regained her composure, you gently pulled away, your concern etched into every line of your face as you met her gaze with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

"What's going on?" you asked, your voice tinged with apprehension. You slowly straighten your posture and look between the younger girl and her guardian. “I woke up here….and you’re crying. And I just….”

With a trembling voice, Riko began to unravel the unsettling truth that had brought them to this deserted airport. She looks like she couldn’t even bear to tell you. But looking at her eyes, you realized that she was gathering the courage to say it to you. You wanted to coax it out of her, suspicion making your heart beat even faster at the anxiety. She looks at Kuroi, who gives her a soft smile and nods at her. 

"We've been here for a while, on the other side of the airport," she explained, her words carrying the weight of revelation. "It took us some time to realize, but... we're dead."

The revelation hit you with the force of a thunderclap, jolting you from the realm of the familiar into the stark reality of their circumstances. It felt as if the ground had shifted beneath your feet, leaving you reeling in a maelstrom of disbelief and confusion. Each word uttered by Riko seemed to reverberate through the empty expanse of the airport, echoing off the walls like a haunting refrain.

Your mind raced to grasp the enormity of what she had just disclosed, but comprehension eluded you like a fleeting shadow. The implications of their predicament began to sink in slowly, like pebbles dropped into the vast ocean of your consciousness. This wasn't a mere misunderstanding or a figment of their imagination; it was the chilling truth laid bare before you.

As you struggled to come to terms with the stark reality of their situation, a sense of surrealism washed over you, enveloping you in a haze of uncertainty. It was as if you had been thrust into a waking dream, where the boundaries between life and death blurred and indistinct shades of gray.

Yet, amidst the tumult of emotions that threatened to engulf you, a flicker of determination ignited within your soul. You knew that you couldn't afford to dwell on shock and disbelief for long; there were questions to be answered, decisions to be made, and a journey into the unknown awaiting them all. With a steel resolve, you square your shoulders and prepare to confront whatever lay ahead, drawing strength from the bond that united you with Riko and Kuroi in this surreal limbo.

"Wait, what?" you stammered, your mind reeling with the enormity of what she was saying. It wasn’t registered. Your mouth parts, trying to get the words out. But nothing comes out. 

This airport, once a bustling hub teeming with life and activity, now loomed before you as a solemn gateway to the afterlife. Its once vibrant corridors now echoed with the hollow silence of abandonment, the ghostly remnants of past travelers haunting its deserted halls. It was as if time had frozen within these walls, trapping them in a liminal space between the worlds of the living and the dead.

As the gravity of their situation settled upon you like a heavy shroud, a whirlwind of questions stormed through your mind, each one a relentless demand for answers in the face of this surreal reality. How had they ended up here? What awaited them beyond the confines of this desolate airport? And most pressing of all, what did it mean for their future?

Yet, amidst the chaos of your thoughts, you made a conscious choice to set aside your own uncertainties, focusing instead on providing Riko and Kuroi with the unwavering support they needed in this moment of profound uncertainty. With a steadfast resolve, you vowed to stand by their side, ready to confront whatever revelations the future held, even as you braced yourself for the unknown journey that lay ahead.

You let yourself slowly walk back to the benches.

You take a moment and you carefully sit down.

You look at the two of them as you cross your arms.

“Tell me everything you remember when you woke up.”

YOU THINK YOU SPENT QUITE WHILE REGISTERING EVERYTHING. The three of you huddled together in a somber tableau, grappling with the weight of the revelations that had reshaped your understanding of existence. There really isn't much to be done now, it seems. As the realization of your passing settles in, a heavy sigh escapes your lips, accompanied by a gentle rub of the back of your head. 

The irony of finding yourself in an airport at this moment doesn't escape you; it's almost as if God has a penchant for whimsy in the afterlife. Taking a seat on one of the airport benches, you purse your lips in contemplation. You know you'll be waiting here for a while, and oddly enough, that's what you find solace in. Suguru and Satoru, together. You believe they'll be alright; those two were destined for long, fulfilling lives. At least, that's what you hope for. After all, Jujutsu sorcerers aren't typically associated with the concept of 'forever'.

In truth, for you,  the concept of death had been a familiar companion since youth—a shadow that had trailed alongside you through the tumultuous journey of your upbringing. As an orphan with no prospects and no dreams to call your own, the specter of mortality had woven itself into the fabric of your being, a constant presence as natural as drawing breath into your lungs.

It was Tsukumo Yuki who had intervened, rescuing you from the abyss of despair during her travels and delivering you into the care of Yaga-sensei. Under his guidance, you had discovered the latent ability to perceive curses, a revelation that had irrevocably altered the trajectory of your life. Even then, death had not loosened its grip on you; the path of a sorcerer was fraught with peril, a reality Yaga-sensei had emphasized with disarming candor.

Yet, buoyed by the hope of strength and the promise of a newfound purpose, you had forged ahead, driven by the belief that diligence and determination would pave the way to a brighter future. In the embrace of companionship—with Satoru, with Shoko, with Suguru—you glimpsed the elusive promise of happiness, a fragile beacon amidst the darkness of uncertainty.

Now, faced with the stark reality of your demise, you couldn't help but mourn the life you had hoped to live—a life filled with love, with laughter, with the warmth of cherished bonds. The memory of your final moments flooded back, the visceral recollection of sacrificing yourself to shield Riko from harm, a selfless act that now loomed large in the landscape of regret.

As you leaned against the cold metal frame, a heavy sigh escaped your lips, carrying with it the weight of resignation and understanding. No wonder Riko felt guilty—your sacrifice had left an indelible mark on her conscience, a burden she now bore in the wake of your shared tragedy. You harbored no blame towards Riko, not even a trace of guilt weighed upon your conscience for sacrificing yourself in an attempt to protect her. From the depths of your being, there surged a profound sense of clarity—a steadfast conviction that your actions were born out of love and selflessness, devoid of any remorse or reproach.

In that fateful moment when danger had loomed large and fate had beckoned, you had acted instinctively, driven by an innate desire to shield Riko from harm at any cost. The notion of self-preservation had paled in comparison to the unwavering commitment to her safety, a commitment that transcended mere survival.

As you reflected upon the events that had led to your demise, there was no room for regret or recrimination. You supposed that it was the Jujutsu sorcerer in you. Yaga–sensei’s voice reverberated in your head, ‘A sorcerer doesn’t live for themselves. You live for others.’

The sentiment was something you wanted to laugh at. Satoru would laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, Suguru would think that it was ridiculous but it was what it was. But deep down you know you couldn’t. You know you wouldn’t. Instead, there existed a serene acceptance—a recognition that your final act had been keeping someone innocent alive. You did your duty, you stuck to your beliefs. You died well. You died fast too–you supposed that was a bonus in itself. That Sorcerer Killer had good aim too, you think. You sighed in finality, at the acceptance that this was fate. That this was what was destined. And it was what it was.

As you grapple with the weight of your departure, a single regret pierces through the fog of your thoughts, consuming your mind with its relentless presence. It's the ache of leaving behind Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko—the three pillars of your life, the anchors that tethered you to the realm of happiness and belonging.

Yet, amid this sea of regret, it's Suguru who occupies the forefront of your mind, his memory etched into the deepest recesses of your heart. You can't shake the feeling that your absence will inflict the deepest wounds upon him, for your love for him ran as deep as the ocean, binding your souls together in an unbreakable bond.

A flashback floods your consciousness, transporting you back to a moment frozen in time—a promise exchanged between lovers, whispered with the fervent hope of a future together. But now, as the harsh reality of your demise sets in, you find yourself grappling with the bitter irony of it all, the weight of unfulfilled promises hanging heavy on your soul.

You wish—oh, how you wish—that Suguru could understand the circumstances that led to your untimely departure, that he could find solace in the knowledge that your love for him transcends the boundaries of life and death. But even as you entertain this fleeting hope, a pang of uncertainty gnaws at the edges of your consciousness, whispering doubts of forgiveness and understanding.

And then there's Satoru—the other half of your soul, the one who had captured your heart with his infectious laughter and unwavering devotion. You can't bear to think of the pain that your absence will inflict upon him, the shattered dreams and broken promises that will haunt his waking hours.

A bittersweet memory emerges from the depths of your mind—a pinky promise exchanged between friends, a solemn vow to stand by each other's side until the end of time. But now, as you stand on the precipice of eternity, you can't help but wonder if Satoru will ever forgive you for breaking that sacred oath, for leaving him behind in a world devoid of your presence.

Amidst the whirlwind of emotions, a pang of guilt washes over you as you contemplate the impact of your absence on Shoko. She, too, had been an integral part of your life, a steadfast companion whose presence had brought warmth and solace in times of need. Now, as she navigates the bustling city streets alone, you can't help but feel a twinge of remorse knowing that she'll face each day without your comforting presence by her side.

You envision her, standing alone on the far-flung balcony of her dorm, the tendrils of smoke from her cigarette swirling around her like a melancholic dance. In that solitary moment, you can almost feel her loneliness echoing through the void, a stark reminder of the void you've left behind.

But even amidst the guilt and regret, you cling to a flicker of hope—that somehow, someway, Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko will come to understand the circumstances that led to your departure. You wish for nothing more than their forgiveness, their understanding, their acceptance of the choices you've made.

For now, as you stand at the crossroads of eternity, you hold onto the enduring love that binds you to them—a love that transcends time and space, a love that will guide you through the darkness and into the light.

A solemn silence settles over the three of you, each lost in your own thoughts and emotions. It's Riko who breaks the silence first, her voice trembling with emotion as she struggles to articulate the enormity of their situation.

"I... I never thought... I never imagined..." Riko's words falter, her eyes brimming with tears as she looks to you for comfort and understanding. “I just….”

You reach out to her, offering a reassuring squeeze of her hand as you meet her gaze with a soft smile. "It's okay, Riko. We'll figure this out together," you assure her, your voice laced with a gentle reassurance. “We gotta stick together, you hear me?”

Kuroi steps forward, her expression trying to lift from the veil of sorrow. She smiled. "We may not have all the answers right now, but we'll face this challenge together, as a team."

You nod in agreement, grateful for the unwavering support of your friends in this moment of uncertainty. "Thank you, both of you," you say with a sincere grin. “This might be easier with the two of you with me.”

With a determined smile, you hummed, eager to lift the spirits of your small group. You stand up from your chair. "Let's not dwell on what we can't change right now," you suggest gently, your voice infused with optimism. "Instead, why don't we explore this airport together? Who knows what we might find?"

Riko's eyes brighten slightly at the suggestion, a glimmer of curiosity replacing the sadness that had clouded her features moments before. She wipes the tears away. "That sounds like a good idea," she agrees, a tentative smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Kuroi nods in approval, her resolve visibly strengthening as she takes your lead. "We'll make the most of this situation," she declares with newfound determination.

“Now, let’s go! I’m craving an ice cream sundae!”

Riko laughs as she follows closely behind you. “We’re dead, we can’t eat ice cream.”

“It doesn’t matter, I want it!” You laughed back at her, but more obnoxiously. “Kuroi, what’s your favorite ice cream?”

“Oh, that’s a hard one to decide….”

As you set off together, embarking on a journey of exploration and discovery, you can't help but feel a spark of hope ignite within you. Though the road ahead may be uncertain, you take comfort in the knowledge that you're not alone—you have each other, and together, you'll find a way to navigate this strange new world.

With a sense of purpose guiding your steps, you forge ahead into the unknown, ready to face whatever challenges may come your way. And as you walk side by side, the promise of a brighter future beckons on the horizon, filling your hearts with renewed courage and determination.

You had high hopes that it’ll be just the three of you for now.

If there was a god watching you now, you whispered a wish.

You wished that those you love would live a long and happy life.

But a few months later, you stood and frowned as you stared.

Brown eyes stared at you, cheeks flustered all the way through.

“Yu Haibara, how the fu—you were supposed to grow old, idiot!”

YOU COULDN’T HELP BUT THINK. That’s all you could really do here, if you were being honest. God perhaps intended purgatory as a reflection on your life. But somehow, these days, you end up thinking more about your new arrival—-Yu Haibara, and how he got here. Why was he here? You already knew why. And yet you kept pondering why. Why did he end up here so early? Why should such a boy with a life long ahead of him be here? 

In the hushed moments of contemplation, memories of Haibara's sacrifice resurfaced like ghosts haunting the corridors of your mind. You didn’t tell him about it, but you ended up thinking that he was more like you than you liked. You wished in a way, that the boy he was, had been a little bit more selfish. He didn’t have to tell you how he died — you already knew. Because he was just that kind. He was too good of a person.  

His selfless act, a final testament to his unwavering loyalty and boundless courage, lingered with poignant clarity, etching itself into the fabric of your consciousness. The image of him, standing tall and resolute in the face of danger, sacrificing himself to shield Nanami from harm, was seared into your memory like a brand, a testament to the indomitable spirit that defined him. 

Nanami Kento must have been distraught, you think. Your little Ken, as you liked to call him,  was more emotional than he let on, you like to think. To lose you both in the distance of one year, that’s a big blow — at least you like to think so. Kento had few people he liked to genuinely call friends. Even with you, he was formal. But Haibara? Haibara was his closest friend, even if he didn’t say it out loud. And now Haibara’s gone. You didn’t know what to say, at first. But Haibara just smiled at you.

As you reminisced about that conversation with Haibara, his words echoed in your mind with a poignant clarity, each syllable carrying a weight of its own. His reassurance, delivered with a grin that belied his own fears, had offered a fleeting moment of solace amidst the turmoil of grief and uncertainty. But even then, you couldn't shake the heavy burden of concern that weighed upon your heart.

“He’ll be alright,” Haibara wistfully smiled at you. “He’s a strong guy you know! He’s survived this long!”

"I hope so. But he'll miss his friend the most, you know," you murmured softly, your gaze tender as you looked upon Haibara, your voice heavy with unspoken worry.

In response, Haibara had laughed heartily, his laughter a balm to your troubled soul. "Hm, I know. But we'll see him one day. For now... he has to live. Long and happily too."

Your response had been a quiet hum of agreement, the weight of his words lingering in the air like a promise yet to be fulfilled. Together, you had watched the birds outside the airport window, their graceful flight a stark contrast to the heavy thoughts that weighed upon your mind.

And then, in a moment of unexpected candor, Haibara had turned to you, his expression earnest as he broached a topic that had long been left unspoken between you.

"You know..." he had begun hesitantly, his voice trailing off as he searched for the right words to convey the depth of his emotions.

"Yeah?" you had prompted, your curiosity piqued by the sudden seriousness in his tone.

"Geto-senpai and Gojo-senpai..." Haibara had started, his gaze flickering with a mixture of sadness and regret. "They were really sad about your death."

The revelation had struck you like a blow to the chest, the weight of his words crushing in their sincerity. In that moment, you had been reminded of the far-reaching impact of your passing, the ripple effect of grief and loss that had reverberated through the lives of those you held dear. And as you grappled with the magnitude of their sorrow, a pang of guilt had seared through your heart, a painful reminder of the unintended consequences of your untimely departure.

A heavy silence descended between you and Haibara, the weight of his words hanging in the air like an unspoken truth. You felt a lump form in your throat, the guilt of causing pain to those you cared about weighing heavily on your shoulders.

"I... I didn't mean to hurt them," you finally murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to articulate the turmoil within your heart.

Haibara's gaze softened, a gentle understanding shining in his eyes as he reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I know, senpai. None of us blame you for what happened. It's just... hard, you know? Losing someone we cared about so deeply."

Tears welled up in your eyes, a silent testament to the depth of your remorse. "I wish I could have stayed," you admitted, your voice choking with emotion. You straighten your posture. You tried to be strong.  "I wish I could have been there for them, to ease their pain and share in their sorrow."

Haibara's grip on your shoulder tightened, offering a silent reassurance in the midst of your anguish. "I know, senpai. But we can't change what's already happened. All we can do is cherish the memories we shared and hold onto the hope that one day, we'll be reunited with them again."

You nodded in agreement, finding solace in Haibara's words. "You're right," you whispered, a sense of determination settling over you. "We'll wait. Like they’re waiting.”

In those quiet moments of solitude, you found yourself reflecting on the bonds that had formed between you and your companions, forged through shared experiences and the trials of this peculiar existence. Haibara, Kuroi, Riko—each one has become an indispensable part of your makeshift family, their presence a source of strength and comfort in the face of uncertainty.

As you watched the sunset beyond the airport windows, casting a warm glow over the empty terminal, memories of happier times flooded your mind. You recalled the laughter that had once echoed through these halls, the shared meals and late-night conversations that had brought you all closer together.

But amidst the nostalgia, there lingered a palpable sense of loss—the absence of those who had left this world too soon, their laughter now just a distant echo in the recesses of your mind. You couldn't help but wonder what they would think if they could see you now, still waiting, still hoping for a chance at redemption.

Yet, despite the passage of time and the weight of your regrets, you refused to lose hope. You clung to the belief that one day, your vigil would come to an end, and you would be reunited with those you had lost. Until then, you would continue to cherish the moments you shared with your companions, finding solace in their unwavering support and the enduring bonds of friendship that bound you together.

As the last rays of sunlight faded into darkness, you found yourself filled with a renewed sense of purpose—a determination to make the most of each passing day, to live fully and love deeply, even in the midst of this endless waiting. And so, with a quiet resolve, you turned to face the challenges of the days ahead, guided by the enduring light of hope that burned brightly within your heart.

Amidst the ever-present stillness of the airport, a burst of playful energy erupted as Riko suggested the game of hide and seek. "Let's play hide and seek!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she glanced around at the group.

You and your companions eagerly embraced the idea, craving a reprieve from the relentless monotony of waiting. With a chorus of agreement, you all scattered in different directions, eager to find the perfect hiding spot or to be the one to uncover the others' hiding places.

As the designated seeker, you closed your eyes and began counting aloud while the others hurried off to conceal themselves. The rhythmic cadence of your countdown filled the air, accompanied by the faint sounds of laughter and shuffling as your friends found their spots.

"One... two... three..." you began, the anticipation building with each passing moment. "Ten! Ready or not, here I come!"

You navigated the deserted corridors of the airport, your senses heightened as you scanned every nook and cranny for any sign of movement. Laughter echoed faintly in the distance, teasing you with hints of where your friends might be hiding.

As you rounded a corner, you caught a glimpse of movement—a flicker of movement behind a row of empty seats. Your heart raced with anticipation as you quickened your pace, closing in on the source of the movement. But as you rounded the corner, your momentum carried you forward, and before you knew it, you collided with someone—someone whose familiar touch sent a jolt of recognition coursing through your veins. You thought it was Kuroi. You believed it was Kuroi.

"Gotcha!" you exclaimed triumphantly, reaching out to tag the figure on the shoulder. 

The realization hit you like a sudden gust of wind, knocking the breath from your lungs and leaving you reeling in disbelief. The warmth of the hand against yours was unmistakable—this wasn't Kuroi. Her touch was always cool, her fingers delicate and precise. But this hand... it was different. It was warm, rough with calluses that spoke of a life filled with toil and hardship.

As the truth began to sink in, your heart raced with a frantic rhythm, each beat echoing loudly in your ears as your mind struggled to process the impossible reality before you. Why was he….here? How was it possible? This soon?

Your eyes widened ever so slowly in the shock you felt as you resisted the urge to look up, to meet his gaze and confront the truth that lay between you. You knew that if you looked into his eyes, you would see the same pain and confusion mirrored there—the same turmoil that threatened to consume you whole.

“It’s you….”

The sound of his voice, so achingly familiar yet tinged with a hint of reproach, pierced through the haze of disbelief that enveloped you. You could feel his gaze boring into you, urging you to meet his eyes, to confront the truth that lay between you.

But you couldn't bring yourself to look. Not yet. Not when the wounds of his passing were still so fresh, raw with the sting of loss and longing. Instead, you bit your lip in a futile attempt to steady your trembling emotions, feeling the hot sting of tears welling up in your eyes.

“Look at me,” he pleaded, his voice soft yet filled with an unspoken urgency.

You shook your head, unable to find the strength to meet his gaze, to face the reality of his absence head-on.

“After all this time, are you going to deny me seeing your face?” His words were laced with a mixture of longing and frustration, a silent plea for reconciliation that echoed in the empty space between you.

Your heart ached at the sound of his voice, the memories of your shared love flooding your mind with bittersweet intensity. Ten years—ten long years since you last saw him, since he slipped away from your grasp and into the cold embrace of eternity.

And now, here he was, standing before you with his hand outstretched, a silent reminder of everything you had lost and everything that could never be again.

But still, you couldn't bring yourself to look—to face the truth that lay before you, to acknowledge the gaping void that his absence had left in your heart.

“I can't,” you whispered, your voice barely above a hoarse murmur.

The air between you hung heavy with unspoken words, the weight of your shared history pressing down upon you like a suffocating blanket. And as the tears continued to flow, you knew that no matter how hard you tried to deny it. He died. And so soon. He didn’t let himself grow old. He didn’t let himself live the life you wanted for him. You cried even more in the silence. 

As you looked up, your breath caught in your throat, tears welling in your eyes at the sight of Suguru standing before you. His expression softened with concern as he reached out to steady you, his touch sending waves of warmth cascading through your body. For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you gazed into his eyes, overwhelmed by a flood of emotions that threatened to consume you. His purple eyes gleamed, almost so wondrously as though he was taking in the features of your face. As though he’d forgotten. He slowly smiled as tears poured down from his eyes too. His breath became shaky as his fingers rested on your chin.

In that fleeting instant, all the pain and longing you had carried with you melted away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of love and belonging. Without a word, you threw your arms around him, clinging to him as though he were the anchor that could tether you to this world. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you buried your face in his chest, the weight of your shared sorrow and joy pressing against you like a comforting embrace.

In that moment, surrounded by the echoes of laughter and the warmth of Suguru's embrace, you knew that no matter how long you waited or how far you roamed, you would always find your way back to each other. And as you stood there, lost in the embrace of the one you loved, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you—a hope that one day, you would be reunited with all those you held dear, in a place where time had no power to separate.

As the warmth of his embrace enveloped you, you couldn't help but let the floodgates of emotion burst open, tears streaming down your cheeks as you buried your face against his chest. The familiar scent of him, a mixture of earthy musk and the faint hint of his favorite cologne, washed over you, comforting you in a way that nothing else could.

“You idiot,” you cried out, your voice muffled against the warmth of his flesh. “You couldn’t even make me proud by growing old and living a whole life to tell me. You’re so annoying, you….”

But before you could finish your tirade, his laughter cut through the air, a melodic sound that echoed against your bodies and filled the empty space between you. It was a laugh filled with joy, unbridled and free, and for a fleeting moment, you couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at the happiness he exuded.

“I didn’t want to live a whole life if you weren’t going to be in it,” he confessed, his voice soft yet resolute. “There was nothing to smile about.”

His words hung heavy in the air, a poignant reminder of the depth of his love for you, even in the face of eternity. And as you stood there, locked in each other's embrace, you knew that no matter what trials may come, no matter how much time may pass, the bond you shared with Suguru would endure—a beacon of hope in the darkness that now enveloped your soul.

In that moment, amidst the chaos of emotions swirling within you, a sense of peace washed over your weary soul. You realized that even in death, your love for each other remained as steadfast as ever, an unbreakable thread binding your hearts together for all eternity.

"I missed you," you whispered, your voice barely a breath against his chest.

"I missed you too," he replied, his arms tightening around you in a silent promise never to let go again.

For a timeless moment, you simply stood there, lost in the embrace of the one you thought you had lost forever. The weight of the years spent apart melted away, leaving only the warmth of his love to fill the void in your heart.

But as the realization of your reunion settled in, a new sense of purpose stirred within you. You knew that you couldn't stay in this airport forever, trapped in a limbo of waiting and longing. There were others out there, waiting for you, longing to be reunited just as you had been.

You pulled away from Suguru's embrace, meeting his gaze with a determined glint in your eyes. "We can't stay here," you said firmly. "There are others who’d want to see you.”

Suguru nodded in agreement, his expression mirroring your determination. "You're right," he said. "We'll find a way. Together. But….”

You looked at him as he smiled at you, his height bearing down upon you. 

“Let me kiss you.” He whispers to you. “Before you introduce me to the others.”

You felt a soft flutter in your chest at his words, a mixture of longing and anticipation coursing through your veins. Despite the weight of the years that had passed, the desire to feel his lips against yours burned fiercely within you.

Without a word, you leaned in, closing the distance between you and Suguru. His lips met yours in a tender embrace, a silent exchange of love and longing that transcended the boundaries of time and space. In that fleeting moment, all the pain and sorrow of the past faded into insignificance, replaced by the overwhelming warmth of his touch.

As you pulled away, you met Suguru's gaze, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of affection and gratitude. "Thank you," he whispered softly, his voice barely a breath against your lips.

Your heart flutters at his words. 

He grins at you, wholeheartedly.

You admit, your heart is a little bit full.

But you knew it wasn’t as full as yet.

Satoru, you wanted to see Satoru too.

IT WAS DECEMBER 24TH 2018 WHEN GOJO SATORU ARRIVED AT THE AIRPORT. As you and Suguru stood by the airport benches, your embrace providing a comforting anchor amidst the chaos of the bustling terminal, a sense of tranquility settled over you. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in your own private sanctuary.

But amidst this moment of serenity, a movement caught your eye, drawing your attention to a familiar figure nearby. There, amidst the deserted terminal, Satoru lay sleeping, his form peaceful and serene against the backdrop of the bustling airport.

You exchanged a glance with Suguru, a silent communication passing between you as you both recognized the significance of the moment. It was an unexpected reunion, one that held the promise of both joy and uncertainty.

For a moment, you simply stood there, lost in the quiet beauty of the scene before you. The terminal faded into the background, leaving only Satoru and the two of you in a timeless embrace. As you watched Satoru sleep, a rush of emotions swept over you, mingling with the tender affection you felt for him. It was a moment of unexpected beauty, a reminder of the enduring bond that connected the three of you, even across the vast expanse of time and space.

"He didn't even wait a year after you," you remarked to Suguru, a hint of annoyance creeping into your voice as you crossed your arms. "Nanami Ken-Ken, I understand. But the two of you?"

Suguru's snort was barely audible, but the wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips spoke volumes. Memories flooded his mind as he remembered the last time Nanami had made an unexpected appearance in the airport. He couldn't help but find amusement in the way you had reacted then – your expression a mix of shock and disappointment that was, in his eyes, utterly endearing.

In that moment, Suguru couldn't help but recall just how adorable you looked when you expressed such disappointment. He knew you well enough to recognize that pout – the one that often graced your lips when things didn't go as planned, or when someone didn't meet your expectations. It was a trait of yours that Satoru, too, was likely familiar with.

But Suguru understood the underlying reason behind your tendency to pout and lecture. It wasn't borne out of mere petulance or frustration; rather, it stemmed from a deep-seated care and concern for those around you. You had a heart that overflowed with love and compassion, and you wanted nothing more than for everyone to live longer, happier lives – even if it meant lecturing them endlessly or wearing that adorable pout.

It was this caring nature of yours that Suguru found so utterly captivating, and it was a trait that had endeared you to him even more over the years. As he looked at you now, lost in your thoughts, he couldn't help but feel a swell of affection for you – a silent acknowledgment of the depth of your love and the strength of your character.

As you stood in the airport, a familiar figure caught your eye. It was Nanami, standing there in the terminal, his presence a shocking revelation. Disbelief washed over you, mingled with a sense of incredulity. How could he be here after all this time? He was supposed to be alive and well. If anyone was going to outlive them all now, it would be Nanami. Suguru had said that he had left that life behind, after you and Haibara passed away. But to have seen him there, as young as you met him, rubbing the back of his head as you

Without a second thought, you rushed over to him, your voice tinged with disbelief and a hint of annoyance. "Nanami? What are you doing here?" you demanded, unable to mask the surprise in your tone. "You... you shouldn't be here. You're supposed to be..."

“Well, I’m here.” Nanami Kento replied to you, sighing, crossing his arms. He was as much a teenager as you remember him to be. “I’m dead, senpai.”

“You….”

But before you could finish your sentence, you launched into a tirade, peppering Nanami with questions and admonishments. "You can't just waltz into the airport like nothing happened!" you exclaimed, your frustration bubbling to the surface. "Do you have any idea how bad this is? Suguru said you left Jujutsu! Why did you come back, you idiot?”

“......It’s not like I have anything to do.”

“Kento, is that you?” Yu Haibara’s mouth went agape as he stood before you all, looking at his closest friend. “You still look the same! Emo and all!”

Nanami frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Now, now,” Suguru tries to mitigate.

“Wait, I’m not done lecturing!” You impede, your brows furrowing. You sighed, lowering your head to your palm. “Let me think for a second, I’m overstimulating.”

Haibara grinned. “You can do it, senpai!”

“That’s not helping.” Nanami whispers.

“Shhhhhhhhh!” You put your index finger on your lip, glaring at him. “I’m not done!”

Your words trailed off as you struggled to find the right ones, emotions swirling within you like a storm. But despite your agitation, Nanami Kento remained silent, his expression unreadable as he listened to your impassioned speech. He knew you weren’t going to stop. You were more the parent than Geto Suguru, after all.

At the sight of your antics, Suguru couldn't help but laugh, the sound echoing softly through the terminal. "Leave it to you to give him a proper scolding, even after he's dead," he remarked, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“You’re not out of the water either!”

"You make it seem like it was a choice for us to go down that route," Suguru replied, his tone tinged with resignation. It was a reminder of the circumstances that had led them here, to this peculiar purgatory where time seemed to stand still. “It is fate, whatever happened.”

"It is a choice," you insisted, leaning against Suguru's side as you settled down beside him on the bench. "I wanted to see you with white hair."

Suguru chuckled, his smile widening as he reached over to playfully poke at Satoru's hair. "You already see so much of that on Satoru," he remarked teasingly.

You swatted Suguru's hand away with a mock glare. "Hey, he might develop a bald spot with that!" you protested, unable to suppress a grin.

Suguru laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "He's already in the afterlife, he's gonna be fine," he reassured you, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

You raised an eyebrow skeptically. "We're not even sure if he's dead, Suguru! His soul is a bit glitchy from here!" you retorted back to your lover.

Suguru met your gaze with a playful smirk. "You can see souls?" he quipped, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"I'm dead, so obviously, I do!" you shot back, unable to resist a jab back at him. 

Suguru's smirk widened into a grin as he considered your words. "What if we return him back to life and he's bald?" he mused, the corners of his lips twitching with suppressed laughter.

“That’s not funny, Suguru!”

Just as you and Suguru continued to trade playful banter, Satoru stirred from his slumber, blinking groggily as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in the sight of you and Suguru sitting beside him, the playful atmosphere of your conversation washing over him. You waved at him, happily greeting him. He couldn’t believe it. How he was seeing you greet him in that warm manner, as you always have when you were alive.

Satoru's initial disbelief gradually gave way to a sense of wonder as he took in the sight of you waving at him, a warm smile gracing your lips. It was a sight he had longed to see for years, a memory that he had held onto tightly even as the years stretched on in this strange limbo.

With a mixture of awe and gratitude, Satoru returned your wave, his heart swelling with emotion at the sight of you. It felt surreal, almost dreamlike, to be greeted by you in such a familiar manner, as if no time had passed at all.

For a moment, he allowed himself to revel in the warmth of your presence, the memory of your smile etched into his mind like a cherished treasure. It was a moment of pure bliss amidst the uncertainty of their existence in this surreal afterlife, a reminder of the enduring bond that connected them across the boundaries of life and death.

"Yo," Suguru greeted Satoru casually, a grin spreading across his face.

Satoru's expression shifted from confusion to disbelief as he processed the unexpected reunion. "This is freaking awful," he muttered, his words tinged with a mixture of incredulity and bemusement.

Geto pouted exaggeratedly, feigning offense at Satoru's response. "Hey, that's rude," he protested with mock indignation. “I can’t believe you greet the love of my life warmly but you greet me so cruelly.”

You let your tongue out at Suguru. “I’m his best friend, of course, bangs!”

He pinches your cheek as you squeal “You’re acting so cheekily again.”

Satoru sighed, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to make sense of the situation. "I told my students that when they die, they'll be alone," he explained, his tone tinged with a hint of resignation. "So I'm hoping this is just some illusion."

You couldn't help but laugh at Satoru's melodramatic proclamation, shaking your head in amusement. It was a clearly playful jab, one that you had not been able to say to him in such a long time. "That’s actually such a loser statement, Satoru," you teased, a fond smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “You’ve gotten this lame over the years, Gojo–sensei?”

“I’m Satoru to you, thank you very much,” The blue eyed sorcerer pouts at you, crossing his arms. Though he had to admit, he liked the way you said Gojo–sensei. “And Yaga–sensei was the one who said it to me! Blame him, not me!”

As Satoru sat there, basking in the warmth of your presence, a wave of pure contentment washed over him, enveloping him in a sense of peace that he hadn't felt in years. The sound of your laughter was music to his ears. It was a harmony that he had been waiting to hear for a decade since you’ve passed. It was a feeling he struggled to put into words, a profound sense of happiness that seemed to resonate deep within his soul.

In that moment, surrounded by the familiar faces of you and Suguru, Satoru couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the opportunity to see you again. He had missed you more than words could express, longing for the warmth of your smile and the comfort of your presence during the long years of solitude in this airport purgatory.

Even as he grappled with the knowledge that he could never truly express his romantic feelings for you, Satoru found solace in the simple joy of being near you once more. For him, this moment was a glimpse of paradise, a fleeting taste of happiness that he would treasure for eternity.

In your presence, Satoru felt a sense of completeness that he had never known before, a feeling that transcended the boundaries of life and death. You were his paradise, his beacon of light in the darkness of this strange afterlife, and for that, he would be forever grateful.

As he sat there, savoring the precious moments with you, Satoru couldn't help but reflect on how his ten years in this limbo had led him to this beautiful reunion. Despite the uncertainties and challenges he had faced during his time here, none of it seemed to matter in comparison to the overwhelming joy of being with you once again.

He thought about all the times he had yearned to see your face, to hear your laughter, to feel the warmth of your touch. And now, as he sat beside you, surrounded by the gentle hum of the airport and the comforting presence of his friends, Satoru realized that this was where he truly belonged.

In your company, Satoru found a sense of peace and happiness that he had never known before. You were his anchor in this strange world, his guiding light through the darkness of uncertainty. And even though he could never express the depth of his feelings for you, he took comfort in the knowledge that he was with you, sharing this moment of bliss together. As the weight of his past burdens lifted from his shoulders, Satoru smiled, his heart overflowing with    love and gratitude. For in this moment, surrounded by the ones he cherished most, he knew that he was home.

“Does he know?” You asked Satoru, looking at him with a soft tone. 

He looked at you with his blue eyes, his glasses lowering. “Who?”

“That boy, you’ve been taking care of.” You whisper back to him. 

“How'd you know about him?” 

“I met his father around here—”

"Who cares?" Geto's voice cut through the silence, breaking the tension with a note of indifference. “He killed you.”

"I know" you retorted back, your tone gentle yet firm. "But he deserves to know about his dad too, you know. That boy….family ties run deep, especially when it comes to matters of the heart."

With a thoughtful nod, Satoru left the topic hanging in the air, shifting the focus to more pressing matters. "I've left it with Shoko to handle," he added, his tone indicating a sense of finality. 

“We’re not even sure if you’re dead yet.” You whisper back to him, your hand resting on his. “You’ll be able to tell him.”

Satoru didn’t know how to tell you.

But you looked so beautiful to him.

He didn’t want to leave you here.

He wanted to stay with you and Suguru.

He wanted to be happy here, together.

“How was fighting Sukuna?” Suguru asked him, changing the topic.

"He was strong," Satoru admitted, his voice tinged with respect. "Even though he wasn't giving his all."

Suguru nodded in agreement, his expression thoughtful as he considered Satoru's words. "It must have been quite the battle," he remarked, his eyes reflecting a mixture of admiration and curiosity.

Satoru's lips curled into a wry smile, his demeanor surprisingly casual given the intensity of the confrontation. "It was exhilarating," he admitted, his voice carrying a note of genuine enjoyment. "But I can't help but feel a twinge of pity for Sukuna. He didn't bring his full strength to the table."

You couldn't help but laugh at Satoru's nonchalant attitude, leaning affectionately against him as you basked in his presence. His scent enveloped you, a comforting reminder of the bond you shared. "Only the strongest would say something like that," you remarked fondly, your eyes sparkling with admiration. "As expected of you."

Geto's eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of jealousy briefly clouding his expression as he processed Satoru's words. "That's what sets him apart," he acknowledged quietly, his voice tinged with a hint of envy. "But if you're content with the outcome, then perhaps that's all that truly matters."

Satoru's grin widened at Geto's response, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes. "I suppose I would have been more satisfied if you were there to spur me on," he teased, his tone laced with sincerity. He gently looks at Suguru and then at you. “It would have made me feel a little bit more at ease.”

“Don’t you mean, less cocky?” Suguru teased him back but Satoru just laughed.

You take a moment to express your heartfelt gratitude to Satoru, your voice filled with genuine emotion as you speak. "I'm proud of you, Satoru," you say, your words carrying the weight of years of admiration and affection. "After all you've done, after all you've been through... I'm just so happy to see you again, to be together with you and Suguru."

As you gaze at Satoru, a sense of completeness washes over you, the weight of years of separation lifting from your shoulders. "You've brought so much light into my life," you continue, your voice soft but filled with conviction. "My heart feels whole again, thanks to you."

“South or north,” Satoru says, after a moment of silence. “Where do you think I should go?”

Satoru's question lingered in the air like a heavy fog, casting a veil of uncertainty over the moment. You and Suguru exchanged a meaningful glance, both understanding the weight of Satoru's decision. Going south meant embracing the reunion, journeying together towards an uncertain but hopeful future. Going north meant bidding farewell once again, facing the prospect of separation with stoic resolve.

"Moving south," you begin, your gaze drifting towards the direction of the plane resting on the tarmac. You turn back to Satoru, a smile playing on your lips, though this one carries a hint of somberness. "Means you'll stay as you are."

Satoru takes in your words, his expression thoughtful as he absorbs their implications. Leaning against the airport bench, he looks at you and Suguru, the two people who make up his world, with a sense of resolve. "Here," he breathes out, his voice tinged with determination. "True to myself."

Suguru nods in understanding, his gaze shifting between you and Satoru. "But to go north…," he begins, his tone gentle yet firm. "You'll discover a new part of yourself. Another you."

Satoru's expression tightens slightly, the weight of his decision bearing down on him. "But without you," he adds, his voice heavy with unspoken regret. It's a realization he never wanted to voice, but one he knows he must confront. He isn't truly dead, and he can feel it as much as you can.

Your eyes soften as you meet Satoru's gaze, your palm instinctively resting on top of his hand in a gesture of comfort. "Just for now," you assure him, your voice filled with warmth and understanding. "It's not forever."

"We'll wait for you, until the next flight," Suguru chimes in, his grin conveying unwavering strength for the blue eyed sorcerer. Together, the three of you stand at the crossroads of possibility, each prepared to face the future with courage and determination, no matter which path Satoru chooses. “Even if everyone goes ahead, we’ll be here. Waiting for you.”

Satoru's eyes soften as he stands, his gaze shifting towards the north. With a determined nod, he takes a step forward, his eyes meeting yours with a depth of emotion that transcends words. Leaning in, he presses a gentle kiss on your hair, a silent gesture of gratitude and affection for all that you mean to him.

Satoru's warm smile illuminated his features as he turned to Suguru, a silent expression of gratitude and affection passing between them. With gentle tenderness, he leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on Suguru's cheek, a simple yet profound gesture of love and reassurance.

Suguru's eyes met Satoru's, a softness reflecting in their depths as they exchanged a silent conversation. It was a moment of quiet understanding, a wordless exchange that spoke volumes of their deep bond and unwavering commitment to each other.

As you observed the intimate exchange between them, you couldn't help but feel a warmth spreading in your heart. Your love was palpable, radiating from their gaze and enveloping you in its comforting embrace. It was a reminder that amidst the uncertainty and challenges of life, the love shared between kindred souls could serve as a beacon of hope and solace. If there was any possibility to split a soul into three, perhaps it was born into life just for you. You were each other’s fate, come what may. That’s what you think. You know that they wouldn’t have it any other way either. Life made sense when you were happy together. And now you are. 

In that moment, as you looked at them and they looked back at you, you felt a profound sense of reassurance. Their eyes held the promise of a brighter tomorrow, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of love. It was as if they were whispering to you with the windows of their souls, assuring you that everything would be alright, no matter what challenges lay ahead.

As Satoru straightens, his resolve firm and his heart heavy with the weight of his decision, he meets your gaze one last time. In that fleeting moment, you share a silent understanding, a mutual promise to await his return and embrace whatever the future may hold. Suguru wraps his arms around you, grinning at Satoru. 

With one final glance at the two of you. You urge him forward, your eyes swimming with a watery glaze. He smiles at you and whispers to you, to Suguru – ‘I love you’;

‘I know.’ Both you and Suguru whisper back.

As Gojo Satoru takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed towards the north, a sense of resolve washes over him. He knows not what awaits him on the path ahead, but he steps forward with unwavering courage and determination. The road may be shrouded in uncertainty, but he finds solace in the knowledge that the bonds of love, forged over years of companionship and camaraderie, will serve as his guiding light.

You and Suguru stand by, silent witnesses to Satoru's journey, your presence a source of strength and support. Though the time for your reunion may not yet have come, Satoru carries your wishes in his heart as he ventures forth into the unknown. He is determined to fulfill your desire for him to live a long and happy life, to carry on in your memory and honor your legacy.

But there are tasks still left unfinished, promises yet to be fulfilled. Satoru's thoughts turn to the future, to the responsibilities that await him. He must see to it that your final wishes are carried out, that you and Suguru find peace together. He must be there for Shoko, for Megumi, for his students who look up to him with admiration and respect. They still need him, relying on his guidance and wisdom to navigate the trials that lie ahead.

With each step he takes, Satoru embraces the uncertainty of the journey, knowing that with courage and determination, he will find his way home. And though the road may be long and fraught with challenges, he walks it with the assurance that love will light the way, leading him back to the warmth and comfort of your embrace, one day. But not yet. For now, he walks forward, his heart filled with hope and his spirit fortified by the knowledge that you and Suguru will always be with him, guiding him home.

It may take some time. 

He’d be away from you.

But he knows he’ll return.

Three of you, together.

You’ll be happy together.

[foxes-that-run]

2013 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag, or years 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2024.

3 January hair pinned up at restaurant in Virgin Islands. Harry's "might as well.." Tattoo first seen. Covered with Ferns now.

4 January - Taylor's blue dress on a boat. Harry bite bruise on his hip

7 January -Harry back in London, date People reports that they broke up. Reports Scott swift told them to slow down.

9 January - photos of Harry in Richard Bransons hot hub on front page after the break up. (I often wonder what the less famous people think now that they treated him poorly as a kid and he is massive now). Gordon Smart (1:12, warning he follows it with a bad anecdote about 18 year old H), who worked on media for One Direction, said in 2020 that Harry had said:

"Simon Cowell actually paid me to do some media training with them back in the day so I met them before they were massive and they were again really lovely kids. [...] I wrote a front page story about him sharing a jacuzzi with a girl on holiday and he told me it was bollocks and we still ran it, because we had a picture of him in the jacuzzi. It was probably totally innocuous and I really I'd like to apologize unreservedly to Harry for that because it was an error of judgment on my part and it probably tarnished our friendship."

Richard Branson also has gross sounding comments about this 18 year old that day.

10 January - made fun of his accent at Grammy's

12 January when asked, Niall says he listens to WANGBT, Louis says and Harry’s. 22 MV filmed.

15 January - one direction trip to Ghana for Red Nose Day comic relief

21 January - Taylor in London reports she saw Harry

22 January - Harry got the Butterfly and handshake tattoos.

23 January - Taylor in Madrid before performing at the '40 Principales Awards'

26 January Both at NRG Awards, 25 January Taylor posts Cannes Sunset situation. They both stayed in the Intercontinental Carlton Cannes Hotel.

1 February - Harry's 19th birthday. £5k tab, messy, wild party. Rumour that Taylor had booked a week in Italy which was cancelled

6 February - Savan Kotecha (WMYB writer) gave interview where he said 1D want to be write but can’t. His last 1D credit is Happily and in 2017 praised (45 mins) Harry’s writing.

10 February - Taylor at Grammy's, night Ed says inspired Tenerife Sea

21 February - both attend Brit awards - Taylor performs I knew you were trouble with Harry in the audience. In march she told the Sunday Times "Well, it's not hard to access that emotion when the person the song is directed at is standing by the side of the stage watching." She goes to an afterparty with Tom Odell and out with him the next night. Tom writes Country Star about Taylor and Harry wrote Happily about wishing they were together. Ed is asked if he would trust Harry around his girlfriend and he said “well he trusts me around his girlfriend so yeah I do. We’re friends we don’t do that.” Harry went on Nick Grimshaw from 6am a hungover.

23 February - 3 November - 1D Up all Night tour, start in Europe

7 March - Taylor sells Hyannis Point House at $1m profit

15 March - Taylor vanity fair article. Says Harry pursued her for a year before KCA, better part of a year after and it fell apart one night in London when he went out and he’s texting her to ask to see her again at the time of the interview. Pointed mentioned she was born in 1989, Easter egged wonderland, talks about Connor being 2 months and insignificant. Implies Harry was a rebound from JG and Connor was a Harry rebound. Says she’s looking for someone who is interested in her not her wiki page.

29 March - Taylor played “You're Not Sorry” in Newark. “I truly believe that when dealing with anybody you meet, you should start by trusting them. Any new friend you meet. Any new person you meet. I think you should truly believe the beat in them. And the first time that they tell you they’re sorry I think you should believe them. But then if they keep doing the same exact thing that they say they’re sorry for, that means one thing guys. That they’re not. Sorry.”- here. Appeared in Wonderland cover April 7, 2013

11 April - Louis says 'Taylor Swift' after Harry sings "I'm in love with you" in Little Things

20 April - TS on B stage song before “I Almost Do” in Tampa, FL. “everybody’s got like one, maybe two, I don't know how many you have, but at least one person in your life that doesn’t belong in your life anymore because maybe they hurt you or maybe it’s just over but you kind of want to call them sometimes. And you think better of it. But, you almost do it.”- here. Then a Red tour break till the 25th; One Direction tour break starting in Manchester till Paris on 29th. Louis stays in Europe,

23 April - Harry arrives alone in LA without the Peace ring

24 April - Neither Harry or Taylor seen. The day Harry got the ring

25 April - First day Peace Ring is seen. Harry has dinner with Rod Stewart, Rod then plays the Troubadour and Harry stayed at Rod Stewarts house. Taylor in Cleveland

28 April - Harry posts photo of sunglasses on beach. Taylor photographed in a gym in Los Angles. Wears the ring to leave LAX and there is an absolutely insane mob because he is there alone with no security.

29 April - Arrives in Paris alone, still wearing ring, described as a riot. The ring is in This is Us in Paris

April 30 - Taylor buys Holiday House Rhode Island for $18m cash

1 May - Everything has changed released as single

7 May - Harry goes on a party bus in Norway, photos of him drunk, with blonde and talks about party bus in interviews

18 May - Taylor posted rose’s with a Great Gatsby quote: “Just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer...“

19 May - Taylor said to fans, pointly "You are the longest and best relationship I've ever had" at BBMAs and that she only writes about ex's she doesn't want to see again. In the press room she said

27 May - Taylor wrote Wish you Would

June - September Midnight Memories written with Happily

12 June Taylor on Grimmy, he says Trouble is the “best song ever” 4 times at 11 mins. Best song ever was released 22 July. :)

13 June - Never Gonna Dance Again tattoo seen when Harry got off a yacht in Miami, seemingly drunk, he was underage at the time lyrics from Wham song "Careless Whisper" about regret for being unfaithful. Grimmy had referred to it in September when Harry sung the song on radio

16 June 2013 - Louisville - Harry was feeling himself during “Last First Kiss” and at the end was flirting with someone in the crowd, he mimicked pole dancing then he kissed his heart tattoo

22 June - Taylor and Selena getting ice cream in Mystic Connecticut, near RI.

28 June - Harry seen with Paige

1 July - Harry cross tattoo NYC stayed at the Bowery Hotel NYC

6 July - both play in Pennsylvania, Taylor has a week off after, unseen. On the 8th Harry was sick on stage.

20 July - Harry on Ryan Seacrest in Niall’s place and says the rest of the band went back to uk on their break but he stayed in LA.

22 July - Best Song Ever released.

30 July - September GQ cover story where they badgered Harry about how many people he’d slept with (two)

August 14 - Lover Journal: August 14, 2013, Watch Hill RI. Says she feels like a tiger in an enclosure, feels hunted, talks about paparazzi and cell phones. Also calls herself a rabbit, a flower growing in a sidewalk that is picked and how photos ruin a moment, online photos/comments and 'level of possession'.

25 August - VMAs, texting each other and shade, together at afterparty. Sang purple rain together at after party.

3 September - Harry tweeted 1975, Matty Healy told an interviewer that went from 4K followers to 15k in 10 minutes and they exchanged numbers and texted, made plans to meet up and he stood Harry up.

5 September - the 1975 cover WMYB in the live lounge

8 September - Taylor “"People think they know who I've dated and they just don't," "They don't know everything."

9 September - Harry badgered by paparazzi till he cries in London. They called him a womaniser. GQ Article where the interviewer bullied him into how many partners he had has (2)

11 September - Harry Rose tattoo.

27 September - 1D sign another contract with Syco for 3 albums, they are each paid £10m.

28 September: On the anniversary of the Begin Again weekend in Paris 28 September- 5 October 2012 Harry tweeted: "We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall". from Australia.

5 October - Harry pulled a blonde out of the crowd and hung out with her that night in Australia

8 October - Harry tweeted Shania Twain is so good. Shania thanks him and invites him to her show in Vegas.

16 October - Harry talked about Shania Twain 'Still the One' on stage, Tweet Q's - what song would you like to listen to now?

17 October Harry cried onstage, (0:55) during over again Taylor seen with Alexander Skarsgard 3 days later

18 October - throws up on stage reports touring taking toll

28 October - Harry talked about Shania Twain 'Still the One' on stage again, What's the most embarrassing song on your ipod.

1 November - 1D, Katy Perry and John Mayer take photos backstage at a Japanese radio station in Tokyo. New Romantics was written about Taylor being sad her ex had gone to Japan with his new GF.

November -j14 article where Harry says ok to get back together with ex. Also reports Taylor is house hunting in London.

13 November - Taylors first Victoria Secret show where she wears a union jack dress in NY and performed IKYWT. On 14th Harry in UK for Gemma's graduation, TS in NY for billboard awards.

18 November - Courtney Cox said she hung out with each of them at her house in Malibu

20 November - Harry has dinner with Kendall Taylor tweets ""I've listened to "Hold On" by @ColbieCaillat 45 times today. So on repeat. So important." on the 21st when dinner reported.

22 November - midnights memories release party in la with Ryan Seacrest

23 November, both at AMAs, gold dress. Kendall PDA reported but no record of it

25 November - Midnight Memories released with Something Great written with Jacknife Lee who also worked on Red.

3 December - Lover Journal - December 3, 2013, Sydney.

6 December - Harry leaves Kendalls hotel and they have breakfast. Lunch the next day.

11 December- Taylor ATW speech talks about songwriting like a message in a bottle, she mentions still love you and I’m really heartbroken

12 December - One Direction in Milan, record the Xfactor final interview with cushions on the floor.

13 December - Taylor posts a series of photos to IG about a rose garden party in Melbourne, Australia while on tour for her birthday. Many think 1989 will be called Roses. The captions made a sort of poem "Roses. Red Balloons. Pretty.... Sparklers. The best birthday I've ever had." Which could be a dig at Harry, Roses being common Haylor imagery, his tattoo and she famously said her 2012 birthday was her best ever when he took her to the Lakes. Harry's "better still be my winding wheel" tweet. Harry posts his Cannes photo December 14.

15 December - One Direction performs Midnight Memories on Xfactor UK Final and Harry arrives at Kendalls London hotel at 2am.

17 December - Harry got injunction banning paparazzi from outside his home. Harry likely had moved into his current house. First confirmed at Ben Winston's with Morgan Spurlock in April 2012, Harry later told Rolling Stone he stayed there 20 months. He was seen house hunting in July and reports of his house were September 2012.

21 December - midnight memories MV filmed

Continue to 2014

[dojae-huh]

I dont understand why doyoung is pushing himself with woo when I kinda feels like woo is not into him...ofcourse woo can make people laugh and do likes that very much that is also why he likes johnny...but that doesn't mean he have better chemistry with woo even than tae? Why he only care about the promotion and things??

Were you in the fandom when Jungwoo was introduced with U and then added to 127? (2018)

Jungwoo clung to Doyoung like a bur. Literally sometimes.

Back in 2018 Doyoung took special care of Jungwoo as the new member (similar how he did with Shotaro). He was the welcoming party, the moral support, he showed the ropes and was with Woo for "first times" like flying in an airplane or living abroad in a hotel. Do was in Woo's shoes, when he himself joined 127 with a delay (he got hate from knets as well). Doyoung was a prime target of "confident gay" game as well.

So Doyoung took care of Woo and showed publicly his acceptance of him (and he is one of t7s members, the beginning). Lucas, Shotaro, WinWin, Xiaojun, Rookies2022 - Doyoung takes care of all new NCT members.

After getting a jealous boyfriend and seeing how Woo assimilated well and developed friendships, Doyoung was gradually distancing himself from Woo, however after the Neo City tour Woo went on a half year hiatus. After he came back, Doyoung renewed his shaperoning. SM also started to push Woo a lot and sent him on programmes and for photoshoots with Do and Jae.

By this point I think Doyoung simply acts out of habit (the way he always insists on his love for Jeno). Jungwoo has other connections fans can like him for (with Mark, Sungchan, MC co-hosts), he is pretty popular, so technically Do can let go of Sabujaks. Still, most duos are long-lived in 127, and Jungwoo is not as confident as he pretends to be (which he hides really well, we get to know about from TMIs and messages from managers and the members).

Before Doyoung helped with variety and modelling. What is happening now is Jungwoo is established as a singer with Do's help. Hyuk might be paired with Woo in the songs, but on the side he is working with Taeil because it's time for him to work on his dream of becoming a songwriter. Plus Woo chose Hyuk as the member who he would be having troubles with if Hyuk was born as his kid. Hyuk annoys even the master of annoyance Woo. Meanwhile Doyoung can match anyone's voice.

Taeyong is a super popular member. As a duo TaeDo are strong and do get content for two on the regular basis. It looks like it is Doyoung who is refusing collabs with Taeyong (Tae wanted him for his soundcloud, he urges Do to write lyrics). He wants Tae to make friends elsewhere.

DoWoo work together well. Yes, they pull in different directions, but most people don't notice it. They don't have chemistry and easy rapport, but as two individuals they work well because they have same goals (popularity) and view on things (it's OK to be fake). Woo can get away with lots of things (like calling Doyoung a "fool"), but ultimately he listens to Doyoung.

Best chemistry combos: JaeDo, TaeDo, 2Dongs.

Middle range: DoWoo, JohnDo, DoYu

Not so good: DoIl, DoMark.

JohnDo had a cold war, Yuta developed his career in Japan, Hyuk is too busy and has Sun&Moon. JaeDo were under the ban.

DoIl are great in physical games, but they have different pace for anything else. Mark is busy, Mark has problems with Do bossing him. He doesn't need to be advertised, he is super popular as it is (and MarkHyuk is the original forever canon ship).

[reasoningdaily]

Royal experts say King Charles should apologize for the monarchy's racist past.

The monarchy has turned a blind eye to the major role it played in Britain's slave trade. 

Charles has expressed his "sorrow over the past" but hasn't held the monarchy accountable.

King Charles will undoubtedly be monarch for a shorter period than his predecessor, Queen Elizabeth II, who reigned for 70 years before her death last year.

At 74, Charles has limited time to carve out his legacy before passing the throne to his son Prince William.

But royal experts agree Charles could still make a significant impact on the institution. They say if there's one thing the king should do during his reign to make a lasting impression, it's apologize for the monarchy's racist past.

The royal family has turned a blind eye to its racist history   

The royal family has failed to fully acknowledge the monarchy's part in Britain's slave trade, which involved the transportation and forced labor of African people in exchange for goods.

A number of British monarchs — including Queen Elizabeth I and James I — sponsored, supported, or profited from Britain's involvement in slavery, The Guardian's David Conn reported in April. And although the full extent of the royal institution's involvement is not known, Charles has issued his public support to a research project looking into the monarchy's links to slavery, according to another Guardian report from April.

Of course, racism isn't just a thing of the past. The British royals have faced allegations of racism in recent years. In 2021, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle told Oprah Winfrey that a senior member of the royal family made racist remarks about their son, Archie, before he was born, and in their 2022 Netflix docuseries, "Harry & Meghan," they said the monarchy wrote off British tabloids' racist treatment of Meghan as a "rite of passage."

In November, Lady Susan Hussey, a lady-in-waiting to Camilla, the Queen Consort, resigned after Ngozi Fulani, the founder of the charity Sistah Space, said a member of palace staff — who she did not name, but it later emerged was Hussey — asked her where she "really came from" at an event at Buckingham Palace. Fulani told Insider the interaction, which Hussey apologized for in December, made her feel "so uncomfortable" and "violated."

Charles should hold the monarchy accountable, royal experts say

Charles' support of the research project investigating the royals' involvement in slavery may suggest he is taking a different approach than Queen Elizabeth II, who never acknowledged the monarchy's role in supporting the slave trade. But it isn't enough, royal experts told Insider.

They say the king could take things a step further by fully acknowledging and publicly apologizing for the monarchy's links to slavery, and by listening to people in communities affected by racism. Buckingham Palace and Kensington Palace did not respond to Insider's request for comment on this story.

Royal commentator Kristen Meinzer told Insider that Charles should offer a direct public apology, rather than "expressions of sorrow over the past," referring to a speech the king gave at the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in Rwanda in June.

"I cannot describe the depths of my personal sorrow at the suffering of so many, as I continue to deepen my own understanding of slavery's enduring impact," Charles said in part, according to Sky News.

It wasn't the first time Charles addressed the subject. In 2018, Charles condemned "the appalling atrocity of the slave trade" in a speech during a visit to Ghana, The Guardian reported at the time.

Jack Royston, a royal correspondent for Newsweek, told Insider that Charles could make a bigger impact by addressing the "specific role the monarchy played" in slavery.

"Charles' biggest task as king is to address the royal family's historic links to slavery and colonialism," Royston said.

"It's a very tricky subject for the monarchy because Foreign Office policy is not to apologize or pay reparations, and that is what is being asked of him," Royston added, referring to a department of the British government.

"On paper, the king should not contradict the stance of his government," Royston said. "However, anyone with a heart and a sense of compassion can see that the damage done by slavery and colonialism was real, was heartbreaking, and created generational trauma that outlived the crimes themselves."

The king can do more than just apologize if he wants to make a difference

Chika Okeke-Agulu, an art historian and a professor at Princeton University, told Insider that the king can wield the monarch's symbolic power to effect real change, instead of using it to support the status quo as Queen Elizabeth did.

"The Queen was a product of empire," Okeke-Agulu said. "She was a child of empire and was still connected to the ideologies and world views of empire."

"King Charles is not," he went on to say. "So for him to demonstrate a generational change and shift from the attitudes and worldviews of the British monarchy, he has to take the steps that his mother did not take."

Okeke-Agulu pointed to specific actions the king could take in addition to apologizing for the monarchy's ties to slavery — such as addressing the Windrush generation scandal, in which UK citizens who were born in Caribbean countries were deported or mistreated.

He said the king could also support the return of artifacts Britain took from other countries — like one of the Benin bronzes, which was taken from a museum in Nigeria in 1973 by Gen. Yakubu Gowon, the president at the time, and given as a gift to the Queen, according to The Art Newspaper; it remains in the royal family's collection today. Okeke-Agulu said that there have been some efforts by British museums in recent years to return stolen artifacts to their countries of origin, but endorsement from the monarch could spur more action.

"I think that even the symbolic gesture of announcing that he's very interested in this issue would encourage, perhaps even catalyze, new efforts by these British institutions," Okeke-Agulu said. 

Likewise, Meinzer suggested Charles could donate to and listen to communities affected by racism that feel they've been "negatively and systematically harmed by his institution."

And after the incident with Lady Susan Hussey, Diane Abbott, a member of Parliament for the Labour Party, told CNN in December that the royal family needs to change internally before it can spur changes in the UK and beyond.

"I would like to see them have more Black people in the royal household, I would like to see them genuinely open their arms to Meghan Markle, and I would like to see them use their role to try and encourage a genuinely multiracial society," she said.

NPR also reported in April that the group Heirs of Slavery — which is made up of the ancestors of those who profited off the transatlantic slave trade — has approached King Charles to work with them, which would offer the monarch a tangible way to take accountability for his family's history.

If the king chooses not to take any action, Okeke-Agulu said, Charles "will be basically saying that not much has changed on the very subject that defined Britain as a political phenomenon, cultural entity, and as an institution that has to care about ethics and morals."

Charles could strengthen the monarchy's future by addressing its ugly past

If Charles takes meaningful steps to address the monarchy's history, it could help the future of the monarchy.

"Taking these steps would not just benefit the people of the Commonwealth and Charles himself, it would also serve to smooth the path for William and Kate Middleton, who presented themselves as out-of-touch overlords during their disastrous Caribbean tour," Meinzer said, referencing the couple's royal tour in the region in March 2022.

The couple undertook the tour on behalf of Queen Elizabeth II, as part of the late monarch's Platinum Jubilee celebrations. Elizabeth was head of state of 14 Commonwealth countries, almost all of which are former colonies of the British Empire; Charles took over as head of state after her death.

William and Kate canceled the first stop on their tour, Belize, after locals organized protests ahead of their arrival and carried signs referencing the monarchy's colonial past. There were also protests in Jamaica, as citizens argued that the UK should pay reparations for the slave trade. 

William and Kate were also criticized after photos showing them greeting children through holes in a wire fence on a football field in Kingston, Jamaica, were released, Newsweek reported at the time. 

William addressed the criticism in a statement on Twitter shortly after the tour, saying it brought an opportunity to reflect and learn and "brought into even sharper focus questions about the past and the future."

The same week that William and Kate visited the nation, Belize and Jamaica signaled their intentions to remove Queen Elizabeth II as head of state before her death in 2022, according to The Independent. This came after Barbados removed the Queen as its head of state and became a republic in 2021. And it's possible other Commonwealth realms could follow suit during Charles' reign, as Insider's John Haltiwanger previously reported.

Okeke-Agulu said the "rituals of empire" that instilled loyalty into Commonwealth countries are fading with time, leaving many wondering why they remain loyal to the monarchy at all. 

"The institution itself is going to be increasingly in a precarious situation," he went on to say. "But one of the things it can do is to buy new favors, and you can do that by addressing the very crucial and important issues and questions that a huge segment of the world's population wishes for the monarchy to address."

While a vocally anti-racist monarchy would be a strength for the institution itself — helping the family distance itself from "questions of unconscious bias and racism behind closed doors," as Meinzer told Insider — it would also be an important historical moment for the royals to take responsibility for ancestral abuses.

"If he tried to address these things now, he will be doing his children and his children's children a favor, and in fact, doing Britain a favor," Okeke-Agulu said of Charles, adding: "So long as there are human beings whose ancestors experienced that institution, this question will never go away."

By taking responsibility for the monarchy's past, Charles could help the institution clear the skeletons out of its closet and move forward.

If he doesn't, the monarchy risks getting left behind — and losing the world's respect once and for all.

This story is part of "Charles in Charge," our package of stories all about King Charles' coronation. Read the rest here.

[manleycollins]

Journal Entry #61 - Words, Just Words Experience of 2022

JOURNAL ENTRY #61

Name: Manley M Collins

Social Security Number: 5 7 9 – * * – 6 5 4 1

Date of Birth: 06/21

Place of Birth: Washington, District of Columbia

Country of Birth: United States of America

Date: June 21, 2022  (Note Previous Experiences will be posted, this is posting of significance covering a time period from 2018 to 2022).

Words, just words…I am facing the fears of my psychological foundations while standing still, moving nowhere, little materialism, zero purpose accounts closing, old school and new school social networks running, and stopped doing distractions that has no purpose or result.  Down to the final three (3) states of my routine travel schedule, Massachusetts, Georgia, South Carolina, plus United States of America Track and Field (USATF) Association track meets to cities and states I never been to or have little record of me.   Eliminated or downsized and letting go – New York (Over Words, not mad or angry, but solidified my travel schedule, supports my 2030 decision, and making sure my United States passport comes out pristine) and Illinois (Over Storage Drives). Words, just words.  Year eight (8) count down from ten (10).  "Yep, they did Marvell ya'll."

Family, Friends, Acquaintances, Co-Workers, Associates, Fraternity Brothers, Classmates, and Teammates:

The Federal Government and State Government are still using me as a communication tool to reach folks not paying attention to regular media and apply updated laws.  Laws were updated for the use of technology and words in the English language in the United States of America.  One line of statement out of frustration directed at a large banking company for something the large banking company caused/did got me in trouble for trying to do different.

This type of pattern in my life of people or organizations doing something to get an out-of-character response has been happening since I was born.  I was telling the folks or organizations that suppose to help fix the problem, but no one listened except for this one frustrating statement to make me fear for my life and scared me a lot.  For all those like me that grew up with various forms of technology and different television shows, federal and state laws are updated/updating to include email, social media, texting, online or 800 number customer service, not to say things that make another person uncomfortable even if they are the cause of the problem, issue, and/or frustration.  All this because I did not know.

All folks out there using and learning the English language make sure to use the delete, undo, disappearing, etc., features, or mix the language with other languages.  Get creative, and I will continue telling, showing, doing, and sharing in English while in the United States of America.  USA dislikes me pulling out of everything that I discovered I will never be and USA never confirmed anything told or shared involving USA processes.  My question, "Why am I still being done?" , "Why am I being kept in USA after I physically could not keep my materialistic stuff, the surmounting barriers placed to do different, and nothing I cannot change as one (1) counted person out of 332, 811,821 counted Americans?"  Again, "Why am I still being done?"

Specifics For Further Elaboration:

No other major banks or regional banks performed the following via account services or fraud.

Prior to June 7, 2018, but in the 2000s.        

Opened a Citibank account, but closed it shortly thereafter because I did not know the bank’s purpose in my life.

June 7, 2018               

Opened Citibank accounts Checking and Savings, click here https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eeTaDqK8Fqmf4vyVEosEOgVPNRKo1aZq/view?usp=sharing

for the document proof.

Deposited Smoothie King direct deposit into the accounts.

Deposited the refund checks from Attorney Thomas Nelson (white male from Charleston, SC) - Futeral Law for never clearing the South Carolina land title services.

October 2019

Changed the accounts address from Washington, DC to Pineville, South Carolina.

Opened Citibank Secured Credit Card, click here

for the document proof.

I did travel to South Carolina to setup mailbox and check the heir’s property.

January 2020

Physically moved from Washington, DC to Pineville, South Carolina.

Citibank has NO branches in South Carolina.  I am fully aware on how to bank via postal mail, bank via company’s website, and bank via smartphone app.

Citibank Secured Credit Card and Citibank Debit Card was used to fund the move using a Penske truck and purchase a used Honda Metropolitan Scooter (a lemon) featured in all social media photos.

May 2020

Honda Metropolitan Scooter from Velocity Powersports went out of service, engine gone, back tire and rim gone, and no longer working or retrievable.  It was my primary mode transportation before the Tri-County bus passes.

June 2020

I reported to federal government agencies, state government agencies, and Citibank regarding trying to get my funds back because of fraud, click here

for document proof.

July 2020

Made a decision to move to Boston, Massachusetts.

August 2020

Physically moved from Pineville, South Carolina to Boston, Massachusetts

Changed Citibank account information from South Carolina to Boston, Massachusetts

Citibank has NO branches in Massachusetts.  I am fully aware on how to bank via postal mail, bank via company’s website, bank via smartphone app, and nearest convenient financial centers were in New York.

Tried to use Citibank ATM Debit Card to access funds, card was rejected using another bank’s ATM.

With the Citibank App, I still could lock and unlock Debit Card and Credit Card.

I did call to inquire what is going on with cards.

No activity from August 2020 to March 2021

March 2021

Traveled to New York City to start regular life activities there, which includes physically visiting the banks I have accounts placed.

From March 2021 to November 2021

Called Citibank 800 number while physically visiting the Citibank financial center.  I provided my Massachusetts paper ID unsigned and the South Carolina physical ID.  Two calls to the 800 number and two banking representatives in the same branch while they went in the back to do something.  Same situation happened at another NYC branch.

The frustration was no one in the Citibank financial center or over the 800 number was telling me what was on happening on my account.

November 2021

I received this Inactive document notice – click here

for proof.

I responded and sent back the notarized information with the same Massachusetts paper permit ID unsigned and stating I am the owner of the accounts.  I also advised Citibank deposits were coming.

No activity from December 2021 to May 2022

May 2022

Called Citibank 800 number again and the representative stated to go to the branch to resolve the issue.  My deposits as stated before was were being made.

I tried to use Bill Pay, it was rejected.

I tried to use ATM Card, it was rejected.

I tried to do IntraTransfer Citibank account to Citibank account, it was rejected.

I tried to do Inter Transfer Citibank account to Capital one, it was rejected.  Click here

for proof document.

To not repeat 2021 activities again and no access to my funds, I sent a frustrating statement throwing all my information including this website along with notarized identification to prove I am the owner of the account, but at the same time I called the 800 number and online chat with customer service capturing all of it.

Check what online customer services – click here

for proof of what they said – first time finding out it was Post No Debit placed by a branch on both accounts.

June 2022

The frustration statement got the attention of law enforcement and other agencies as mentioned above.

No other major bank or regional bank does this type of activity.

Statement from Citi Executive Response Unit – click here

for proof document sent and received before takedown.

Statement from Citibank Credit Card Customer Service Unit – click here

for proof document sent and received before takedown.

Closing Check from Checking – click here

for proof document sent and received before takedown.  (Deposit Cleared)

Closing Check from Savings – click here

for proof document sent and received before takedown.  (Deposit Cleared)

Post No Debit (or PND) is nowhere located in the Citibank Client Manual – Consumer Accounts PDF document, dated effective November 18, 2021, emailed from the Citibank Executive Response Unit.

Now for all the frustration and I still went to NYC to celebrate birthday, I got ten (10) to eleven (11) plain clothes, Caucasian, officers trying to take me down; a holding cell to ensure nothing happened for remainder of birthday week; the officers took my USB thumb drive and SD card containing the documents above (no search warrant, but I do not care) – no social media posts – no cloud or email information - which has no physical or circumstantial evidence to support any of the charges placed or the frustration statement; and follow up court dates for unknown decision for Words, Just Words.

This is Citibank. Good luck customers.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

GIGS No519 Interview Toshiya [Bass]

Despite the hidden gimmick elements in the new single “Oboro”, which brings to the fore “simplicity” and “clearness”, Toshiya’s bass sound has a strong presence. With his words, we are going to start the second half of the solo interviews.

“[Oboro] is a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and novelty. For me, rather than that uniqueness and novelty, I felt this is going to be the core song of the album.”

Notes before reading: This is Toshiya’s solo interview from GIGS No519 June issue released on April 27th. 

You can buy the magazine at Amazon Japan.  Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistakes or any confusing parts. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) ----------------- *Toshiya’s interview comes after Kaoru’s, Die’s and an analysis of the latest gear, that’s why in the introduction of his interview the “second half” of the solo interviews is mentioned.* Text by Yukinobu Hasegawa Photos by Reishi Eguma. -You were already composing and arranging songs for the new album and from that, “Oboro” was first announced as a single. What kind of mindset did you have when you tried to move on to the next album from the previous one “The Insulated World”,released in 2018? T: At the beginning, I didn’t have any specific image of the album as a whole. -I think you want that (image) to appear naturally while you are doing the creation work. T: That’s right but as I feel like I’m always making songs, whenever I start, I only have the mindset of “let’s make something good”. -The songs you composed (from early stage) have not been released to the world yet but, what kind of songs did you make? T: Surprisingly, simple songs. Not very detailed. But I think it depends on the song. I started writing songs thinking I wanted to make something different from the previous DIR EN GREY, but there were some parts that seemed too different for me. So, I feel like I'm still searching for the direction of them. -Looking back at the various songs that you’ve made in the past, I feel like you tend to prefer an avant-garde* approach. So, I was a little surprised when you told me you were working on a simple song.

* Avant-garde is a tend for music that  sounds nothing like the music we're accustomed to, experimental, considered to be at the forefront of innovation. T: Ah, I see. But basically, I think I'm a simple person. I've made songs that feel avant-garde but it’s just that such songs were easy to be accepted/used (by the band). I don't know the specific reason, but I think it's probably because the range of the band will be expanded. However, many of the songs I make myself are very simple. -Even if you say "simple", I think people feel differently about it. For example, Shinya also says his drum playing is “simple" but it's actually very difficult.  How does that simplicity that you mentioned feel for you? T: That's right…..I'm wondering how to describe it, but to put it simply, it may not be something very DIR EN GREY-ish. I think many of the simple songs I make are like that. -What do you think that is “DIR EN GREY-ish”? T: Our band is probably "heavy" or "intense"…. Another things that is often said (about the band) is “complexity”, I think that’s the image of the band. With that in mind, the songs I make aren't very DIR EN GREY-ish. Of course, when I write a song, I'm aware of that. -Do you dare to make something that it’s far apart from those ideas? T: It’s the other way round. I’m not trying to do something close to that, but I’m like “I have to take it in the direction of DIR EN GREY a little more". But from that point on, I started thinking, "How about getting too close?”, "It's more interesting to be in a slightly different place." Well, I might just think those things on my own (laughs). -Are the avant-garde songs born from those thoughts? I think musical input and stimulation are also important when you are composing.  In 2020, we were in a situation in which you couldn’t do many public activities but, how did you get that input during that time? T: Basically, even with this corona situation, there are some things that haven’t changed much. If I had to say something, I can spend more time on composition and production as there are no tours or live performances. Regarding the input part, it seems to have changed, but I feel like it hasn't changed. Besides, I don’t think it’s something I’m conscious about so, I haven’t changed anything in my music because of Corona. -Last year in August, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was released in a digital format but, I think this song has a complex pattern in the development of the next step. What was in your mind when you were arranging and recording this song? T: Riffs are also the main melody of the song so I basically listened to the guitar riffs and arranged it so I could put my own play in some parts. In terms of sound making, there isn’t much change. Making in a basic way the feeling of my favourite distortion, it feels like mixing various things there. -For the past few years, you've been actively experimenting with various bass effectors every time you record, but have you tried several of these in the "Ochita koto no aru Sora" recording? T: Basically, I don’t remember which one I used anymore (laughs), but the basic system hasn’t changed, the head is an ampeg cabinet from the 70s, I think it was SWR. In the recording of the previous album "The Insulated World" the bass I used was also a dingwall one. That bass can be used for almighty (pedal). *1.A bass cabinet is the box with the speaker.   2.Ampeg is a manufacturer best known for its bass amplifiers.   3.SWR Sound Corporation is a specialist manufacturer of bass guitar       amplifiers, preamps, speaker cabinets, and acoustic guitar amplifiers.  4.  Dingwall Designer Guitars is a  canadian manufacturer of bass guitars.  5.  Almightty is driver pedal for bass.

- “Ochita koto no aru Sora” was a song with a positive message. Did you find a new direction as a band giving shape to this song?

T: There might some different aspects now but at that time, it may not have changed. I don't think we can completely overlook that, so I can't say anything about it. However, “Ochita koto no aru Sora” itself was made completely to be a single. That's why there may be new things, but surprisingly, I have a strong sense of putting out what was inside us in that way. In what way is it the opposite? Does it feel “new”?

-There are various elements, but I feel that each one is like DIR EN GREY-ish. However, it resonates very much that the lyrics leads from a negative perspective to a positive one.

T: I see. Regarding the lyrics, I think it’s a continuation of the taste of other songs we’ve done so far, but I don’t know because I haven’t asked. However, although the flow of the lyrics are not the same in content, I felt like it was written from a close place.

-The song that follow this one is the new single “Oboro”. Kaoru wrote the original melody but, what was your impression when you first listened to it?

T: I don't think it's much different from the finished form in terms of feelings. The intro had this kind of atmosphere from the beginning. I think it's a song that holds both DIR EN GREY’s essence and newness. However, I personally felt that "this is the core song in the album" rather than being unique or new. As a result, “Oboro” became a single, but at first it wasn’t written with that purpose. We suddenly talked abour releasing a single and after that, as we all agreed that it was a good song for that, we decided to choose it as a single.

-From what part of the song did you feel that it was going to be the core of the album?

T: I felt that this ballad-type atmosphere and feeling really stands out in the album. Because of that, we decided to release it as a single, but we haven't released many singles like this, so I think it made a good change.

-The fact that you feel that  a ballad with a melody  it's going to be the core of the album….does that mean that the other songs are the opposite of it? It seems to be quite an atmosphere where this amazing song was born! (laughs)

T: Well, I can't say anything about that because not all of them have come out yet (laughs). However, it's easier to make a slightly up-tempo songs, so I wonder if there are many songs like that for now. Even if I actually make a song, I don't know if it will be included in the album, so I can't really say anything about the direction of the album or the feeling of the songs. However, "Ochita koto no aru Sora" was made to become a single, so there are a lot of parts of it that hit the target. And as for "Oboro", I felt that it was meant to be release as a single, but also that it was meant to be kept for the album.

-For example, do you change the arrangements and the bass approach if it's an album song or a single song?

T: Yes, it changes. It's completely different for me if is going to be a single or if it is going to be a song for the album. Even if I make  the original melody, it’s different on how much time it takes. Singles are harder to do. You can work more relaxed if it is a  the song for the album. For singles, I feel that the part I am aiming for as a bassist is very strong at the time of elaborating the arrangement.

“If you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.”

-Did you do a lot of trial and error in your part when you made the bass arrangement for "Oboro"?

T: It’s really a minor part. It feels like the details are boiled down when it seems to be a bass phrase like that in a rough flow. The bass in the demo of the original song had many root-playing (basic) phrases so, how to elaborate them from there? what do to with the cadence?  However, “Oboro” has a bass line that snuggles up to the song, I think this phrase has the strongest awareness of song melody.

-While focusing on that sustain-based roots playing components, some bass phrase will come up when you are doing the arrangements but won’t turn out very showy. And when it comes to the ending of the song, it will show fierceness while increasing the distortion of the sound. I felt it was a carefully selected phrasing.

T: I think it’s easier to hear it at the ending of the song, but that distortion is actually there during the whole song. Not only the ending part is distorted but also the beginning. However, when all the instruments came together, I don’t think that distorted feeling could be properly heard. Even if it's distorted that much, surprisingly, it goes well easily. I usually have two patterns at the time of recording. For example, even if you use the same distortion effect, the distortion is applied with a little shallow sound like a hunting sound. So, this time, it was a way of finding what I felt comfortable with when it got mixed with the sound of the band.

-So the reason why you can’t hear that distortion in the first half or the middle of the song is because it got completely blended once the sound of the band got together?

T: That's right. I think there is a perception that if it is distorted, the sound will inevitably be drawn into it. However, if it's distorted that much, it gives a plump low feeling and you can see the phrase. It's simply because we don't stack as many guitars as we used to. Sometimes the sound of each instrument can be heard firmly, so the approach can be focused on what you want to hear. To put it simply, I think it's a big thing that the direction of the band has become simpler. So, in recent years, I think the balance of the band is very good at the time of put together each member’s part. I think that vocals are especially attractive in "Oboro".

-Kyo is very fast adding the lyrics, I’ve heard that he finished recording his part before the instruments  (recording) were done.

T: That's right. "Oboro" already had the vocals done at the stage of recording the bass. However, although he recorded it first, in the end this part will be the last one. After all, it seems that there are parts  he wants to record again once the other parts (instruments) are added. However, even if it is not the final form of the lyrics, if they are already included, the nuance of the phrase will change. Maybe it’s the same with the other members. I think everyone ends up arranging their parts for the lyrics.

-So, the idea was to keep the bass of "Oboro" as simple as possible?

T: Whether you're playing or listening, it was a simple form that seemed comfortable. I think a phrase that requires a lot of work is also good. If there is a song that suits that idea, I wonder if I should take a laborious approach. In that aspect, I thought the dynamic of “Oboro” feels as pleasant as possible. However, I was allowed to play a bit with it. I think the proportion and the sense of balance are also good.

-Did you choose to record some takes while changing your approach?

T: "Oboro" was decided by the current phrase from the time I did pre-production work at home.So, when I recorded in the the band's pre-production room, I just made a few minor corrections when I made the actual recording. As for the mix,  regarding my part, it was a good feeling from the beginning

-Neal Avron has been appointed as a mix engineer this time. Did his mixing work significantly change the nuances of the bass sound?

 T: It has changed. But the biggest change depending on the engineer is the sound of the drums. More like, I feel that the personality of the engineer can be understood in this aspect. Personally, I think the vivid and deep sound of the "Oboro" drums is good.

-A remake of your song "T.D.F.F" is recorded as one of the couplings. What kind of mindset did you have approaching this song including the arrangement?

T: As always, I thought about the phrase from the perspective of what it would sound like if it were done by my current self. When we do a remake, I listen to the original version of the song to confirm what I was playing at that time. Sometimes it's interesting to discover that I was playing it live with the wrong idea(laughs).

-The person that you were at that time is brought back as well?

T: There are times that happens when we rethink our approach. It was like this at that time, but I think it's different to do this phrase now, or to do it with a different feeling. Some of the old songs are due to youth, I have a variety of knowledge and experience now. So, there are times when I change to an approach with a completely different interpretation, and there are parts where I want to play faithfully to the original. For example, keep faithful to the main phrase that  would change everything if you changed that. At the time of "THE UNRAVELING" (released in April 2013), I had a strong desire to change everything if I wanted to remake it, so I changed it completely, but in recent years I have been thinking about the original carefully and the idea is to put my current sense into that. Because when you're making a song, it's your song, but it's not only yours. In that case, it’s better to capture our thoughts and the memories and the thoughts of the fans together in order to shape that song in a good way. If you want to make a bold change, I think you should use that idea to create a new song with it.

-The other coupling song is a live track from the concert without audience at Meguro Rockmaykan. What do you remember about this?

T: It's one of the first stages I've stood on since I became a member of DIR EN GREY, but the Rockmaykan with no audience felt strange. When the live starts, there is only one thing to do, so it's not much different from usual. But I’m not sure if there is something extra in it. It’s not about the call and response (from the audience), I think that the tension inside me is different depending if there are fans or not. After all it is more interesting to have audience. It can also inspire you. I think that such a form of live is also a possibility in times of Corona, but it doesn’t have to be like this every time. However, I learned a lot from this new experience with this new way of expression. Besides, it was a confirmation that there are various things that can be done in a situation like this.

-After this, there is a concert with audience on May 6th. How are you feeling now?

T: I'm looking forward to it and I'm happy. Above all, I am very grateful to be able to perform in front of the audience. Something that used to be normal is not normal anymore, so I wish I could do it with a new feeling.I think the world has simply changed due to Corona. Until now, everyone was running, and I think there was a huge difference between each person’s position. However, because it's all gone, to put it the other way around, everyone restarted from the same position. How does each person perceive that? Of course, the negative effects of corona are huge, but just thinking negatively does not change anything. So, if you think that everyone has slowed down in many ways, I think you can start running again. I think it's better to act than to think. So, I'm looking forward to the future.

[dontcare77ghj]

Siren

Steve x reader x Thor x Bucky

These humans had kept you captive for months, perhaps even longer, as you had no semblance of time in this prison.

You were born a siren. Raised with a pod of your own kind until these humans had taken you.

You had been stupid to rise to the surface that you now knew. The elders had always warned you against going near the above world because of the human world. The elders never elaborated beyond it was dangerous.

But you were young, and you thought you knew better.

So you had risen. You had dragged yourself up onto a rock and stared at the clear blue sky above you. The stone was warm. Sun was beaming down onto your skin, and for the first time in your life, you watched as your tail split into a pair of legs.

And for those few blissful moments, you felt at peace.

Until the elders surfaced and were glaring at you in full fury.

They had screamed and screeched at you to return to the water or be banished from the pod. You had begged to know why you couldn't be here, why it was dangerous above water.

You never got your answer as you eventually sunk back into the water and felt your legs shift back.

Just as you were all about to submerge and return to the pod, a burning pain entered your shoulder.

An unearthly scream had left you as you gazed at the hook embedded in your shoulder. As you were being forcibly dragged backward, you watched as the elders submerged and left you.

You had been bound, collared, and forced into a tank where you now spent your miserable days.

These humans had known about your kind for decades and were only waiting for one of you to be stupid enough to rise so they could capture them.

Whoever your capturers were, they were experts in their field. They had captured many enhanced people and creatures, as they called you, that were not supposed to exist.

They experimented on you. Every day of your life here was torture, and you felt hopeless. You were trapped in a tank and collared with something that meant you couldn't use your powers against them, and your tail chained to the bottom of the tank.

The only comfort you had was the fact your soulmate was still out there.

Injuries that were not your own continued to appear on your body, and every time you saw one, a flicker of hope began to build.

They were still out there.

Everyone had a soulmate in the world, and the way you could identify them was by your matching injuries.

But not all injuries transferred to one another. Most were more of a phantom pain that you would share, but bigger injuries, larger bouts of pain, were shared.

"Your lip is split." A man in the cell beside you said. "Is it your soulmate?"

"They're always injured." You nodded, gently touching the cut that didn't hurt.

"Look who's talking." Loki snorted. "How long ago was it, darling, that they were cutting you to test how fast you healed?"

"Not long enough." You grimaced.

Loki was the only one in this hell hole you could talk to. There were only three other prisoners left here now. There was a girl who could project nightmares out into the real world, the collar stopped her from projecting, but she was trapped in her own. There was a man who could turn into solid rock but never spoke. And a young boy whose powers you didn't know, but he sat there mumbling prayers to himself all day and night.

A loud clang interrupted the two of you. Your head snapped to the doors to see two guards and a doctor enter the room.

"It'll have to be this one." The doctor said, gesturing to the cell on your other side. "So even if they risk facing the electricity, the bars will be too strong to break." He told the guards. "When we've finished our tests, you'll bring them back here."

"Yes, sir." The guards both nodded and with that, the three left the room.

"Looks like we're going to get some new roommates." Loki shrugged. "And I have no welcoming gift for them, shame."

You weren't sure how much time had passed when the doors open once more. You hadn't thought about your new prison mates since the guards left. Your mind had been too occupied by the pain you felt.

"Get your hands off him!" A blonde male yelled, struggling against the guards holding him.

"Oh, dear," Loki murmured.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Easy now!" A long brunette exclaimed as he and the blonde were thrown into the cell beside you. The brunette rushed to the cell door and held onto the bars. "Mother fucker!" He swore, yanking his hands away.

"All the cells are electrified." You informed them.

Both men's heads snapped towards you, and you watched as their eyes grew wide.

"You have a tail." The blonde said, staring down at your scaled appendage. "

"Forget the tail, Stevie, look. Her lip. Her shoulder." The brunette said, pointing to your scared shoulder. Your hand immediately flew up to cover the ugly scar.

Your eyes narrowed at the two, and before you could hiss something at them, you noticed something very peculiar.

The matching split lips the two sported.

"This can't be real." You muttered, watching the two closely. The blonde tugged his shirt down to reveal the same distinct scar on your shoulder.

"Soulmate." The two said.

"Soulmates." You repeated, confused.

"I guess this means you're also mated to my brother, darling," Loki said, breaking the moment.

Your soulmate's heads snapped to him.

"Loki?"

"How long have you been here?" Steve asked you as Bucky searched for weak parts of the cell.

"I'm not sure." You admitted. "We're not told how long we're here, and time is different from home."

"What is the date, Captain?" Loki asked, standing as close to the bars as he dared.

"October 17th, 2018," Steve told him.

"Y/N was here before I, and I've been here five months," Loki told them.

"How did they get you?" You questioned your soulmates.

"Caught us by surprise," Bucky said, moving to stand beside Steve. "We've been looking for this one since he disappeared." He told you, nodding his head in Loki's direction. "We found a lead and went to check it out. They were waiting for us."

"How did they catch you, Loki?" Steve asked, raising a brow. "And how have they kept you hidden for this long?"

"In all honesty, I don't know." Loki sighed. "I was exploring an occult shop the little witch recommended me, I leave, and the next thing I know, I am trapped in this disgusting excuse of a prison."

"What is the point of this place? They took our blood and some other things." Bucky told them.

"This is a testing facility." You said. "We're their experiments. This stops us from using any of our powers." You told them, tapping the collar that sat against your throat.

"I believe that this collar is why no-one can locate anyone in this facility," Loki added.

"How do we get them off?" Steve demanded as he tried to pull at his.

"You can't." You shook your head. "Only someone not wearing one can remove a collar."

"Shit," Bucky swore, running his fingers through his hair.

"It's fine, Buck. The team will find us. Thor will find us." Steve assured everyone. "We're getting out of here."

"I have been here five months, Captain." Loki shook his head. "Your promises do not inspire hope."

No-one had come. In however long since Steve had made his promise, no-one had come.

But this didn't surprise you. No-one ever came, except for the doctors and the guards.

They always came.

Since the arrival of your soulmates, the three of you had worked on strengthing your bond as best you could. The two told you stories about their lives and their third, your last soulmate, Loki's brother, Thor. In turn, you told them about your past and what you were.

"What do you miss most about your home?" Bucky asked out of the blue.

"The whales." You said with a fond smile. "They traveled all the oceans, and I'd always listen to their stories."

"Did your pod not travel much?" Steve wondered.

"No. The elders always said the pod belonged in one place. We weren't supposed to question them." You shrugged.

"Something tells me you didn't listen to that rule much." Bucky teased.

"There was no reasoning for their rules. No explanation. Who wants to live like that?" You smiled. "What's Thor like?" You asked your two soulmates.

"Kind," Steve said as Bucky said,

"Fantastic."

"He's always joyous," Steve told you. "Always ready for a laugh."

"Stands up for the little guy," Bucky mentioned. "He's going to love you, doll." "I hope so. My interactions with Norse Gods are pretty minimal." You said, looking over at a sleeping Loki.

"So was ours before. Trust us, you'll be more than fine." Steve smiled.

Before you could respond, the familiar sound of the doors being thrown open interrupted you. At the noise, Loki sat up, Steve and Bucky stood, and you watched as the guards made their way towards you.

You tensed when your cell door was thrust open, and three guards approached your tank.

"Watch it." One guard snapped at another who pulled your tank too roughly. "Perkins will kill you if you hurt her."

"What's he care? He's gonna cut her open anyway." A guard snapped, yanking the tank once more.

"Careful, you're gonna-" The guard started to yell, but it was too late. Your tank was jolted forward and smashed against the ground. As soon as you were no longer in a body of water, your legs began to shift.

And now you were laid on the floor, completely naked, clutching a bleeding cut on your cheek.

"Look what you've fucking done, Paul." The guard snapped, reaching down to grab you by the arm.

A loud yelp escaped you as the man yanked you to your unsteady feet and held you tightly against him.

"Get your hands off her!" Bucky shouted, kicking the bars of the cell.

"Ed, look." The third guard said, gesturing to the two men, the two men who had matching cuts to yours.

"Who woulda thought America's golden boy would be mates with a fish?" Ed laughed, dragging you forward. "You think Perkins knows about this?"

"Fuck no. You know, Perkins woulda already set up new experiments if he did." The third man shook his head.

"Maybe it's time he knew," Ed murmured. "D, you're with me," Ed said, opening Steve and Bucky's cell and throwing you in. A grunt left your mouth as you hit the floor before you were in Bucky's arms. "Paul, clean up this fucking mess. And get a new tank." He ordered.

"Shame Perkins won't let us play with the merchandise," Paul said, staring at you as the two other men rushed out. "You look good for a fish." He added as Steve and Bucky growled, and Bucky turned, shielding you from Paul's eyes.

"Here, doll," Steve said, pulling off his shirt and helping you into it as Paul left.

The long-sleeved blue material was soft and fell almost to your knees. In your pod, there had been no such thing as covering up or modesty. Everyone was bare from the torso up anyway, but if this shirt would hide you from the guards prying eyes, you would never be taking it off.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked, pulling back slightly to look you over. "How much glass got you?" He questioned, checking your available skin.

"I'm fine." 

"Don't think we can't feel your pain." Bucky rose a brow.

"My feet hurt." You mumbled after a second.

"May I?" Steve asked, holding a hand near them. The blonde gently pulled your feet onto his lap once you nodded. "I can't tell if there's any glass in them, but they're both bleeding."

"It's okay. I'll heal." You promised him. "Hi." You smiled, looking at the two up close for the first time.

"Hi." Steve grinned, taking your hand.

"This is a pretty neat trick, doll," Bucky said, putting a hand on your knee. "They know about this?"

"Yes." You nodded. "They've already done their tests." You added with a grimace.

"We're going to take you away from here, Y/N," Steve promised you. "One way or another, we're getting out of here."

"Hope breeds eternal misery, Captain." Loki interrupted.

"When have you been one to lose hope, Loki?" Bucky asked his soulmate's brother.

"I have not lost hope, Sargent. I am merely trying to warn the woman from putting much stock in the belief of escape. Ask how many bodies she has seen dragged from this place." Loki said, causing you to look down.

Too many.

"We started this mission to find you, Loki. The team will find us, Thor will find us, and everyone in here is getting out." Steve firmly stated.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but it appears we'll have to disagree here."

After Loki's comment, it had gone silent, minus of course, the mumbled prayers of a boy.

The three of you had sat, huddled towards the back of the cell with you still sitting on Bucky's lap.

"I wouldn't go back to my pod." You said, playing with Bucky's fingers. "When we get out. I don't think they'd have me back anyway."

"Why's that, doll?"

"I didn't listen to the elders, and I never passed my rites of passage." You shrugged.

The rites of passage were a series of trials that a coming-of-age siren would complete to show their dedication to the pod. One of those trails was to drown a human.

And that, you couldn't bring yourself to do.

"You can come back with us," Steve told you. "The Tower has plenty of space for you to have a room of your own."

"Or you could share our room," Bucky suggested.

"Or you could share our room. Whatever you're comfortable with, doll." Steve promised.

"I might have to stay close to you three. Seems someones got to make sure you three don't get injured." You teased.

"Trust me, doll, that's all, Steve." Bucky quietly chuckled.

The doors crashed open for the second that day. The three guards from earlier reappeared, along with another three, with two doctors behind them.

"Congratulations on finding each other!" A doctor cheered as the cell door was pulled open, and guards pulled the three of you to a stand. "We've never had two soulmates here before! Let alone three!"

"Really, what a shame we're the first," Bucky muttered, glaring at the guards restraining you and Steve.

"I mean, who would have thought two super soldiers would be mated with a siren? There are so many questions, so many trials we must now have." The doctor rambled as the three of you were dragged from the room.

"Unfortunately for the three of you, these new trials and tests won't be pleasant." The other doctor informed you all as you stumbled on your unsure legs.

"Like anything that's done here is pleasant." Steve scoffed.

"But you know what they say, pain equals progress." The first doctor shrugged.

"Did anyone ever teach about gentle?" You snapped as the three of you were forced onto metal tables and strapped down.

"Or how to treat a lady?" Bucky asked before grunting as his collar shocked him. Both you and Steve made noises of discomfort.

"Small doses of pain can be felt through the bond!" The first doctor cheered as the other wrote it down.

"That was a small dose?" 

"We continue down the scale!"

"Who the fuck taught you what a scale was?" Bucky grunted what felt like days later. "Because that did not go up in a scale."

The two doctors had worked on the three of you for what must have been hours. Blood covered the three of you and dripped onto the floor as you all tried to catch your breath.

"I see your attitude was not affected by the tests." The second doctor scoffed as the first rapidly wrote down his notes.

"We only have one more test for the day." The first doctor said, nodding at the guards who began to set up for the next test.

"You have been alive as long as Sargent Barnes here, haven't you, Captain? Tell us, did you feel it when this happened?" Steve was asked as the doctor trailed his fingers over Bucky's arm.

"What,you're gonna cut our arms off now?" You asked, watching the doctors in a panic.

"Perhaps in time. But we have a much more pressing question for today." He said as a hose was pulled out. "I wonder what would happen to the Captain and Sargent if we cut your tail." He told you, and suddenly you were soaked.

Your legs shifted back, and your panic began to build.

"Wait, no, please, don't do this." You begged, attempting to wrench your body off the table.

"You've done enough testing! You don't need to do this!" Steve yelled.

"This is all in the name of progression." The first doctor said, ignoring your pleas as he sat at the end of the table, a tray of tools beside him.

"There is no progression in this!"

"Roberts begin recording." The doctor ordered. "Beginning test one, removing scales. As recorded before, scales are incredibly tough to remove by tweezers. So we will be cutting them out." He stated calmly before using a scalpel to expertly slice your scales.

A loud scream left you as your soulmates exclaimed loudly in anger and pain.

"Male subjects can feel female's pain even in this form!" The doctor grinned. "Proceeding onto next test!" He said, holding up what looked like the nose of a sawfish.

"If you fucking touch her again, I'll rip your head off!" Bucky yelled as your voice got caught in your throat.

Both doctors ignored Bucky's threats as they continued with their experiments.

Just as the sawfish-looking tool touched the base of your tail when the lights and machines of the room turned off.

"What happened?"

"Must be an electrical short." A guard said, causing Steve and Bucky to laugh as a loud, echoing boom reached your ears.

"Get out there." Roberts snapped to the guards, who immediately rushed outside.

"You're dead now." Bucky laughed. "Nothing's going to save you now." He said as the guards began to yell.

"Perkins," Roberts said, backing up. "I believe it's time to run."

"Run? Never! These are our experiments. No-one can take them from us!" Perkins scoffed before the door boomed open.

There stood a tall blond man. His blonde hair was long and slightly matted with blood, and electricity was dancing on his skin.

"You dare touch my soulmates!" He boomed, raising his hammer as his eyes glowed brightly.

Electricity filled the room, and soon, both doctors were unconscious on the ground.

"Steven. James." The man sighed, rushing over to the closest man.

"Thor." Bucky smiled as Thor began to rip the bonds holding him. "We have someone for you to meet."

"This is Y/N, our other soulmate." Steve smiled, tilting his head towards you. "Y/N, this is Thor."

"Hi." You smiled, teeth stained with blood. "I'm normally not this blood-stained, I swear."

"I believe that. It is wonderful to meet another soulmate, but perhaps introductions are best made once we are out of here." He said as he and Bucky ripped Steve's bonds, causing you and Steve to laugh.

"That's probably for the best." You nodded. The three men made their way over to you, and Bucky pulled the hose away from you, causing you to shift.

"Did you find Loki?" Steve asked the God.

"Aye. We found the prison first, and Loki told the three of you had been taken. He and the others are with the rest of the team." Thor told him as the two helped you to your feet.

You attempted to take a step, but you had never walked on your own before, and so, you began to collapse. You were caught by thick arms and pulled into a burly chest.

"Are you alright, darling?" Thor asked, looking you over in concern.

"I'm fine. Just not very steady." You said, your cheeks burning red.

"Allow me," Thor said, handing his hammer to Steve and pulling you into his arms.

"Thank you."

"Of course. Anything for one of my soulmates."

"Are you trying to give us grey hairs?" Bucky asked, bandaging a cut on Steve's cheek, a cut you all now had.

"I didn't mean to trip, you know, Buck?" Steve muttered, looking down.

It had been two years since you had met your soulmates. Two years since the three had freed you from your prison.

The four of you were on vacation right now. It was the first vacation the four of you had taken together and your first one altogether.

Tony had loaned you one of his many houses, this one by the ocean, much to your pleasure.

"How is him tripping giving you grey hairs, James?" Thor asked in amusement.

"I don't know. It just is."

"I'm pretty sure they have cures for grey hairs, Buck." You mentioned. "You could borrow Clint's hair dye if it really bothers you."

"I'm telling him you said that." Bucky laughed.

"I'll protect you from the archer, my darling," Thor said, throwing his arm around your shoulders.

"Good because I don't think Bucky wants to clean up any more injuries. And Clint's a bleeder." Steve said, causing the three of you to laugh.

God, what you would give for it to always be like this.

Remember all Taglists are open as are requests.

Taglist @rvgrsbrns @smilexcaptainx @hopingforbarnes @starlingelliot @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @jelly-fishy-babie @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @reann-shitposting @skadikh @summergeezburr @buckybarton03 @sunshinepower17 @bindythedemon @natasharomanoffismywife @keenmarvellover @bbybarness @storiesbystarlight @buckybarnesplumwhore @bromieeeomieee @marvelmenarebeautiful @niki-is-a-thing @pauloonig @abyssiniapleasant @beautybyfire @officalmarvelbaby @acertainredhead @reapersan @adoreyou976 @casperlikej @songbirdcannabe @wandas-lover

[fenoderee]

薫 [Guitar] Interview

Let's start with an interview with Kaoru, the main composer of the Band. He has been steering the Band in the direction of what he feels is new and interesting musically, but in what mode has he been working on the music now, and how did he complete the new song "Oboro"?

Nothing is interesting if it's exactly what you think it is at the beginning, but it becomes interesting if you think "it could look like this" and continue drawing.

-Since we're doing this remotely, I'm also curious about where you are now... Is it your home studio?

Kaoru: It's like a studio, a place where I write songs and draw pictures.

-A place where you can concentrate on one work. Have you had a studio for quite some time?

Kaoru: About five years ago. I've been using it since I started writing songs for 'The Insulated World' (released September 2018).

-I'm also curious about the monitor screen behind you, which I assume you're still writing songs on.

Kaoru: No, this is just the data for "Oboro". There's also a guitar in the composition.

-It's a studio that you can use freely 24 hours a day, are you the type of person who sets aside time to write songs?

Kaoru: Basically, I do, but it depends on the moment. When I'm in the mood, I don't need to set a time to write.

-I've heard that you've been writing songs for your next album for quite some time?

Kaoru: Yes. We started writing songs before we had finished "The Insulated World." I don't know if they will end up on the album or not, but I started writing them anyway.

-The style of your previous work was also key in terms of what inspired you to write a song and how you think about it, but what did you see in "The Insulated World“ that made you want to pursue it further?

Kaoru: To put it simply, I wanted to create something more intense. The last album was made with the intention of creating something intense, and the album before that "ARCHE" (released in December 2014), was a straightforward package of what we had created at that time. For the next album, I want to make sure that the songs I've chosen are the only ones I can think of. In that sense, I want to make a very intense album. I don't want it to be an intense album, or a slow album, or anything like that, but I want it to be a whole piece of work.

-Do you write your songs with the whole album in mind, rather than just one song at a time?

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. But when we first started writing the songs, I had a feeling about it, but I hadn't told the band yet.

-What kind of sounds and phrases come to you as a starting point when you are conscious of wanting to make something strong?

Kaoru: The way we create doesn't change much. It doesn't matter what the starting point is. I just start writing and then somewhere along the line I start to betray myself. I'll put in a phrase that sounds different. It's all about making the song more interesting. It's more like if you start off with the right idea, the song won't expand from there. I'm trying to find songs where I can find the unexpected.

-Do you also do some kind of input work to draw your own inspiration?

Kaoru: I do input, but I don't know if it's open or not. When I sit down in my studio and think "Come on, let's do it", I don't really think about anything else.

-Do you feel that starting to draw together has given some kind of feedback to your music?

Kaoru: I thought there would be, but not really (laughs). It's still the same, both in terms of salary and songs. If I tried to create it myself, I'd end up thinking in a very unorthodox way. The more I draw, the more I think the same way as I do when I write songs. It's not interesting if it's exactly what I had in mind from the start, but if I start drawing randomly and when something comes out, I think "it could look like this", and then I go on with it and it becomes interesting.

-So you don't like the fact that you can predict what you are going to do?

Kaoru: Yes. But in the case of a song, you can say "I've tried it, but I think I'll redo it", but with a picture, once you've put in one stroke, you can say "Oh, it's not the same", so the tension is different in that respect.

-Returning to the subject of one song, last year DIR EN GREY released "Ochita Koto no Aru Sora" as a download. When was this song born?

Kaoru: Last spring...well, it's been around for a while. It was a song that we had been working on. We reworked it and made it again.

-Were you in the mode of "I want to make it strong" from that point on?

Kaoru: I think we were in that mode, but I have an image of that song as a single, so it's a bit different. I wanted to put it together as a single, but with an unexpected twist. So it's a mixture of mellow, loud and core.

-But I think you felt you were able to move forward with one new song. Was there anything that came out of that?

Kaoru: It's still like we're trying to get our hands on something that's shrouded in mist. I'm still struggling with it.

-From what point did you start to make "This Single"?

Kaoru: Unusually for me, I started with a chord progression. I thought it would make a beautiful song. But as a song it was just a chord progression and I didn't have a definitive image yet. So I gave the members a listen to the song and said "Let's try it".

-Did you write the chord progressions while playing the guitar?

Kaoru: No, the keyboard. I thought it would be easier to understand the development of the song if I added the guitar when I played it for the members, so I did, but I hadn't added it before.

-A single keyboard is an instrument that makes it easy to visually see how the notes are stacked. Do you find it easier to move on to something unexpected if you use such an instrument?

Kaoru: When I'm creating phrases on the keyboard, I'm only imagining how the song will go. It's not that I'm trying to make the sound pile up purely because it's on the keyboard, but simply because it's easier to see than playing the guitar. This was especially true for "Oboro" and nowadays I always review the notes once on the keyboard. I also created "The World of Mercy" (released in September 2019) on the keyboard at first. When I added guitars to it, the song changed drastically.

-"Oboro" is finished in an arrangement that incorporates strings, but is the rough phrase of strings in your head from the beginning?

Kaoru: I didn't include it in the demo stage. In fact, I was thinking of not including it. But when I created the guitar solo and was thinking about what to do before it, I came up with the idea of strings. I put them in, and it worked out well, so I decided to put strings in the second half as well.

-So the guitar solo led to the string arrangement.

Kaoru: To put it coolly, yes (laughs). For a while we were trying to get rid of the guitar solo, but recently we've been trying to add the flavor of the guitar solo to the songs. I was struggling with this until about halfway through, when I really thought the guitar solo was necessary. Even now, there are times when I don't think it's necessary. But this is the same idea I had when I started adding guitar solos again. I grew up with that kind of music, and I was always impressed by the cool guitar solos of my favorite artists. I don't think solos are really necessary in this day and age, but as long as it's not too dull, it's okay. That's why I think about the phrases I use in my solos, but it's not like I have any deep feelings about them.

-When you were thinking about the phrases and melody for the guitar solo, did you have a song in mind yet?

Kaoru: I had a tentative song in mind, but I hadn't finished the verses yet.

-Oh, really? It's a solo with a melody and tone that fits the color of the poem very well.

Kaoru: So maybe it was my mouth that called up this poem (laughs).

-I'll say it, brother!

Kaoru: That's a lie, a lie (laughs). When I was thinking about the guitar solo, I felt like I was drawing a picture. I was trying to figure out what kind of sound I wanted the chords to make while creating a certain atmosphere. It's like I'm trying to figure out what emotion I want to put into it. The general idea was to keep the first phrase as it was, but change the nuances in the details.

It's limited, so you can't do something like a power collision, but it will surely be a live that is nothing but DIR EN GREY's live.

-You're a real romantic when you can get away with this kind of melody and arrangement.

Kaoru: Yeah, that's right (laughs).

-Another thing I noticed was how few guitar tracks there were. Is this a result of your desire for a change in the construction of the sound?

Kaoru: I think a lot of people feel that this song is easy to understand, but we just didn't make it easy to hear everything. If you listen to it carefully, it's actually not an easy song to understand at all...let's just say that (laughs). If you listen to it thinking that you can hear everything that is in it, you will never hear it. In fact, there are many "sounds" that are far away. I put them in such a way that you can't hear them. So I'm trying to make you feel it. I think the guitars in this song are meant to be felt. I don't want you to listen to it, but to feel it. That's why it doesn't come out with a bang, but there's something there. The number of tracks is smaller than in the days of "Dum Spiro Spero" (Continued in August 2011), but I thought it would be more interesting to let the listener hear that there are actually various sounds at key points. In that sense, I want the album to be dense.

-Did you come up with such a clever method while struggling with the music in your secret studio?

Kaoru: I'm basically twisted (laughs). But when I think something is not interesting, I naturally come up with something like that. When the album finally comes out, I think it's OK as long as everything is interesting and fits together. It's not like I haven't done this before, but this time I took the plunge.

-In this case, I think you have to be very careful about sound awards and mix balance. What kind of instructions did you give during the recording process?

Kaoru: I didn't make any detailed instructions. I just recorded it normally, reamped it in the studio, and at the last minute asked the engineer, "This is how I want it". The rest was left to the mix engineer. However, I had already talked with the members at the pre-production stage. I wanted the whole thing to sound like a warble, and the guitars were relatively up front. When it came time to mix it, I tried to make it more of a feeling than a sound.

-Neil Avalon was the mix engineer, was it easy to convey the subtle nuances?

Kaoru: Neil seemed to understand. Even so, it was difficult to convey even the most recognizable nuances, and I had many exchanges.

-You said you were going to have him play the guitar, but could you give us some pointers on "this part is actually the guitar"?

Kaoru: To make it easy to understand, in the A melody, there's a kind of arpeggio that goes back and forth. It's like a single note phrase.

-Is it an echo-like effect with a lot of depth?

Kaoru: Yes, yes. That's the one that's actually getting straightened out little by little (laughs). But you can't tell unless you listen carefully. The first shot is a bit choppy, so you can understand it, but the second half is very year-round and you may not understand it. It's interesting to understand.

-As I unraveled Oboro, using what you taught me as a hint, I felt like I was getting deeper and deeper into it.

Kaoru: Yes, I think it will be fun, so please listen carefully. Well, I'll try not to make you sit down (laughs).

-I'm a passenger, though, lol.

Kaoru: It's just something I came up with. But it wouldn't be interesting to have a song where everything is played, or where all the voices are heard, or where all the sounds of the five players must be heard because it's a band. If that's the case, then the guitar doesn't have to be played loudly.

-Did completing this song make what you wanted to do for the album clearer?

Kaoru: It's just that now that "Oboro" is done, I don't think there will be any more songs like this one (laughs). But we originally wrote this song as a ballad, and the album's ballad will be released as a single first. "Oboro" exists in my mind only as a single song, so I think I need a song with a different selection.

-Are you starting to give shape to it?

Kaoru: No, it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of time for me and my team members to get to know each other. It's hard to find something that says, "Oh, you don't have to think that hard". So I try not to think about it (laughs).

-That's just like Dr. Den who is in album production mode (laughs). I always send the best car with the best machine to the landing place.

Kaoru: It's true. I can't decide, or rather I don't want to decide. I want to use the possibilities to the fullest as they grow. The members say to me, "Shouldn't you decide what kind of album you want to make?“ I usually answer, "No, I'd like to keep it a little more vague“. This always lasts until the second half of the album production (laughs).

-Since last year you haven't been able to perform live as much as you'd like, does that put you in a better frame of mind to concentrate on writing songs?

Kaoru: We haven't toured for a year now, we used to tour twice a year. Now I think there were hints in the casual conversations I had with the members in the dressing rooms before the gigs. I would get an idea for a song from a casual conversation, like "this song might fit this way". So I think it would be better if I had a chance to talk to the band members.

-Conversations with the members are different during the writing period and in the dressing room. In the dressing room, they might express their honest opinions, so it's easier to understand what they are thinking about.

Kaoru: Yes, that's true. It's hard to see because we don't have that now.

-Is your biggest input from your members?

Kaoru: I want to make decisions myself, but there are many things I can't decide. If the members say "it's good", I think "oh, it's good". I don't know if it's the right answer on my own.

-At the audience concert in May, I was asked to start by talking with the 5 members in the dressing room.

Kaoru: I don't think we have time for that (laughs). It's been a long time since I've been to a live concert.

-When the magazine goes on sale, the live performance will be in a few days. It's been a long time since you've done a live power exchange with the audience, how are you feeling now?

Kaoru: I sent my ideas for the setlist to the members just the other day, but no one responded, so I don't know if they think it's okay or if they'll think about it after rehearsal (laughs). I'm not sure how that will feel. But I'm not worried at all. I'm sure it will be nothing but a DIR EN GREY concert. Also, in a situation like this, everyone has their own opinion, and it doesn't mean that those who come to see the show are right. It will be the first one, or the beginning, or if it is the first step to get something, it will be the second step, so I would like to think about it after we try it.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

[felassan]

Article: ‘The Most Powerful Woman in Gaming Wants to Make EA Loved Again’

Laura Miele is helping direct the company toward a future where it’s more attuned with consumers.

One of the first things Laura Miele did when she became chief studios officer of Electronic Arts Inc. three years ago was to gather 19 video game influencers in a conference room. “What do you want me to hear? Lay it on me,” she recalls asking them. “One guy sitting at the corner of the table, he just said, ‘I don’t understand why you don’t give players what they’re asking for.’ ”

[rest of article under cut for length, pasted as Bloomberg has an article read limit]

One of the first things Laura Miele did when she became chief studios officer of Electronic Arts Inc. three years ago was to gather 19 video game influencers in a conference room. “What do you want me to hear? Lay it on me,” she recalls asking them. “One guy sitting at the corner of the table, he just said, ‘I don’t understand why you don’t give players what they’re asking for.’ ”

It’s something many gamers have wondered about EA for years. The $40 billion company, one of the biggest in gaming, is responsible for Battlefield, Madden NFL, and other megahit franchises. But many gamers have long seen EA as a necessary evil, resenting the direction in which it took some games and bristling at its aggressive attempts to extract money by charging extra for digital items in games that cost as much as $70 upfront. This dissatisfaction was no secret in 2018: Gamers spent their days filling up Reddit and other message boards with free advice for EA—but many felt its decision-makers weren’t listening.

EA’s leadership knows it has to improve that relationship, and Miele is a key player in its efforts to do so. Her focus group asked for new content for Star Wars Battlefront II and requested new types of games. Miele quickly assigned 70 people to the Battlefront development project, which dramatically improved its net promoter score, a measure of how likely people are to recommend the game. She also prompted EA to create a skateboarding game and committed to reintroducing its college football franchise, the two genres at the top of the influencers’ list.

In a sense, the guy at the meeting became a stand-in for all of EA’s long-suffering customers in Miele’s eyes. “I wanted to do right by this player,” she says.

As chief studios officer, Miele manages 6,000 staffers and thousands of contractors globally. She oversees EA’s 24 studios, where she makes personnel decisions and sets strategy, and she’s reshaped how the company uses analytics to create and market its games.

In the process she may have become the most powerful woman in gaming. In a 2019 International Game Developers Association survey, fewer than 30% of the more than 1,100 respondents were women, and few if any hold a more central role at such an important company. “It’s a tough place for a woman,” says Peter Moore, who was Miele’s boss when he was EA’s chief operating officer. “It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but she battled her way through.”

Proving good intentions is more important for EA than ever, as the business model of gaming continues to shift in ways that have the potential to alienate customers. Like its rivals, the company is increasing its focus on free-to-play games, making money through sales of digital products such as outfits and weapons for characters.

There are signs it’s succeeding. Apex Legends, EA’s free-to-play hero shooter game, has posted more than $1 billion in sales since it was first published in 2019, and it continues to grow. “The way to succeed with free-to-play games like that is to listen to and engage your customer base and earn their loyalty through incremental purchases,” says Doug Clinton, managing partner of the venture capital firm Loup Ventures, who says Miele deserves much of the credit for Apex Legends. “It feels like a proof point for her that the company is adapting well beyond traditional disk sales.”

Miele, 51, was born in San Francisco but grew up on the north shore of Lake Tahoe. She got her start in games—the kind that require a board—during family nights, when she pitted herself against her brother in Monopoly, Clue, Yahtzee, and backgammon. While attending the University of Nevada at Las Vegas, she worked at architectural companies. By the time she dropped out she’d moved on from receptionist positions to more senior roles, while gaining a reputation for organizing lunch-hour card games with her co-workers.

Miele landed a job as a project manager at Westwood Studios, a video game developer best known for Command and Conquer, in 1996. She eventually took over all marketing for its parent company, Virgin Interactive.

It wasn’t always a hospitable atmosphere: Miele remembers her colleagues expecting her to take notes at meetings, then clean up afterward. “That is just not something I would do today,” she says. “I adapted a lot because I was so passionate about what I was doing. I found my voice along the way.”

When EA acquired Westwood in 1998, she stayed on. At the time, the company did revenue forecasting by looking at sales data once a month and putting together spreadsheets by hand. Miele was tasked with developing more advanced analytics. She hired a group of data analysts, nicknamed “the Jedi,” and had them build EA’s first statistical regression models to examine sales trends, seasonality, and preorders. It took almost two years to put the system in place, but it overhauled the company’s business processes, and executives were soon using it to determine how to invest in advertising and promotions. “I loved how data and analytics can inform your judgment and your gut instinct,” Miele says.

Miele also decided to make one major break with EA’s existing business practices. In 2011 about 80% of game advertising budgets were spent on TV ads. But she saw how much time gamers spent online and decided to spend the bulk of the ad budget for Battlefield 3 on digital, downplaying other types of ads and cutting the TV ad budget to only 30%.

Messing around with the plan for Battlefield 3 was a good way to make people nervous. Miele remembers two executives calling her in for a meeting and demanding to know why they weren’t seeing billboards for the game as they drove in to the office. “It was scary for me, too, and I don’t blame our executives questioning me on that,” she says. But the game ended up being EA’s fastest-selling, moving more than 5 million copies in its first week. From that point, Miele’s marketing strategy became the standard for the company.

When EA signed a 10-year deal with Walt Disney Co. in 2013, Miele became Star Wars general manager. In 2014 she took over publishing operations, marketing, and other key areas, first in the North American region, then globally in 2016. At the time, the game industry was moving from physical disks to digital downloads, transforming its relationship with retail partners such as Walmart Inc. and Best Buy Co.

Miele was in charge of smoothing things over, explaining that EA would start competing with them for customers even as the retailers accounted for the largest portion of the revenue. “I never said to them, ‘Hey, see you later, we are moving on,’ ” she says. “It was, ‘How can we move forward together?’ ” EA began making physical cards with digital credits that its retail partners could sell at their stores, allowing them to share in the revenue from digital sales.

EA’s studios are spread around the globe, and Covid-19 altered Miele’s routine radically. “It was a very difficult year, and I’m really proud about how our company showed up,” she says. “I considered myself a wartime leader last year. You had to get in a bunker with everybody.”

Days became an endless progression of Zoom calls. To keep up with gamers, Miele started spending evenings listening to Clubhouse chats while answering work emails. Because she hasn’t been on the road, she’s also had more time to dine at home and play board games or Apex Legends and The Sims with her 16-year-old twins. As the pandemic retreats in the U.S., her schedule might change, but she still envisions providing more flexibility to her employees to work from home and office. “I do think we’re going to have a different work environment as we go forward,” she says.

Miele is itching to get back to the studio visits. She’s helping steer EA further toward smartphones. The company plans to release mobile versions of Apex Legends globally this year and spent $2.1 billion in April for Glu Mobile Inc., a mobile game publisher, while also preparing the next releases in its existing franchises. “I think the next Battlefield and the mobile shooter games, along with how successful the M&As come out will be key litmus tests of her management this year,” says Matt Kanterman, an analyst with Bloomberg Intelligence. “Her scope is clearly rising.”

— With Dina Bass and Jason Schreier

[source]

[theinkedfoxsl]

Lilliane - Biography & Psychological Profile

Biography Born in a small town in Ontario, Martineau strived to be better than anybody else in her classes. Completing college with a degree of EMT-4, enlisting in the army after she finished her degree she went on to be a prominent field medic, as seen when she was awarded the Cross of Valour for her valiant efforts in Operation Mercy in Iraq. Saving two classes of children as well as a school principal from a collapsing building. A feat that caught the eye of the JTF2. Her success owed to a failed engagement after her fiance, Mikal, cheated on her, so she claims.  

After her promotion Martineau continued her work as a medic while also taking online courses for university for her MD in critical care medicine, and her PhD in infectious diseases, despite obtaining her degrees she continued with the counter-terrorist unit taking care of the agents of her unit. 

Psychological Profile Highly calculating, Major Martineau is decisive and makes a great leader, despite this she’ll often fall back and let other operators take charge. Often quiet and meticulous she’ll plan the best route to any objective before informing the lead. Fascinated by the equipment employed by the rest of Team Rainbow she’s one to watch from afar and adapt to any situation. 

Major Martineau has also been reported to ignore direct orders. Instead opting for the ones she believes to be the morally correct objective. Martineau has never failed a mission assigned to her despite this recurring issue.  Martineau listens to nothing but the facts, this has put her at odds with the Government Officials of Rainbow. Despite this she is still an effective specialist and decorated sniper. Martineau is highly apathetic and will not hesitate to put down anyone that stands in her way of saving civilian lives. It seems she has issue with fellow specialists who use their empathy as coping mechanisms. Martineau’s lack of hesitation has put her at great and often challenging odds with other operators. These include and are not limited to Julien Nizan, Siu Mei Lin, and Gustave Kateb. She and Elias Kotz have formed an admirable friendship and I feel he is one of two people she confides in. 

Martineau lost her first partner in a devastating fire on a failed mission in 2018. The events seem to have further hardened Martineau’s exterior, making her a considerable threat to our enemies, but also a problem to our allies. She does not get along well with others, but does her best to put aside their differences on the field. Having suffered numerous wounds for protecting her teammates, it seems that the field is the last place she shows any inkling of empathy. 

Her current partner, Specialist Gustav Stumm, has been her longest lasting partner. The two seem to have entered a relationship and while it's against policy, I'm not going to be the one that says 'no' to Martineau. Martineau’s PTSD may be her greatest downfall. She calls other operators weak for letting their emotions get the best of them, all while burying her own. She goes to church in an attempt to relieve herself from the sin of pulling the trigger, but I feel that even that has stopped being enough for Martineau. Her lack of sleep is incredibly worrying, but she has not yet missed any of her shots, so for now she seems to be still doing okay. Martineau often uses her lack of empathy to her advantage.

[celestialmazer]

Julie Mehretu, Untitled 2, 1999. Private collection. Courtesy of White Cube. © Julie Mehretu

Julie Mehretu, Hineni (E. 3:4), 2018. Centre Pompidou, Paris, Musée national d’art moderne/Centre de création industrielle; gift of George Economou, 2019. © Julie Mehretu. Photography:Tom Powel Imaging

Julie Mehretu, Mind-Wind Field Drawings (quarantine studio, d.h.) #1, 2019-2020. Private collection, courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery New York/Paris. © Julie Mehretu. Photography courtesy Marian Goodman Gallery

Julie Mehretu, Mogamma (A Painting in Four Parts) Part 1, 2012. Guggenheim Abu Dhabi. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: White Cube, Ben Westoby

Julie Mehretu, Conjured Parts (eye), Ferguson, 2016. The Broad Art Foundation, Los Angeles. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Cathy Carver

Julie Mehretu, Migration Direction Map (large), 1996. Private collection. © Julie Mehretu. Photography: Tom Powel Imaging

At home with artist Julie Mehretu

CAMILLE OKHIO - 25 MAR 2021

Julie Mehretu speaks with the joy and conviction of someone who has had the freedom to investigate all their interests. Curiosity has led her to the myriad topics, objects and moments that inform her work, among them cartography, archaeology, the birth of civilisation and mycology. Since the 1990s, her practice has expanded outwardly in all directions like a spider web. A lack of understanding and preconceived notions among reviewers have often led to her work being flattened – simplified so that it is easily digestible – but in reality, her work is far from a simplistic investigation of any one topic. It encompasses multitudes.

The artist’s recent paintings are mostly large scale, but her early works on paper (often created with multiple layers – one sheet of Mylar on top of another) are as small as a six-inch square. The works often comprise innumerable minuscule markings – tremendous force and knowledge communicated through delicate inkings and streaks. Their layers reveal, rather than obfuscate. And though Mehretu’s creative process springs from a desire to understand herself better, the work itself is in no way autobiographical. 

Born in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, on the tails of a continental rejection of colonialism, and raised there, then in Michigan, Mehretu has a flexible and full-hearted understanding of home. It is not one physical place, but many, all holding equal importance. On 25 March, Mehretu will present her first major retrospective at the Whitney Museum of American Art, with works spanning 1996 to 2019. The institution is an important one for Mehretu, as it played host to several pivotal shows in her youth.

Her exhibition has served as an impetus for Mehretu to look back at her already prolific career, observing and organising the thoughts, questions and answers she has put forth for over two decades. The six years it took to bring this exhibition together proved an incredibly valuable time of reflection, fatefully dovetailing with a year of quarantine. 

Wallpaper*: Where are you as we speak?

Julie Mehretu: I’m in my studio on 26th Street, right on the West Side Highway. I’ve worked here for 11 years.

W*: Are there any artists, writers or thinkers that have had a meaningful impact on you?

JM: I don’t know how to answer that because there are literally so many! It’s constantly changing. Right now, Kara Walker, David Hammons, William Pope.L, and younger artists like Jason Moran (who has made amazing work around abstraction). There are so many artists that have been informative and important to me: Frank Bowling, Jack Whitten, Caravaggio.

I also look at a lot of prehistoric work, from as far back as 60,000 years ago, as well as cave paintings from 6th century China and early prehistoric drawings in the caves of Australia. 

W*: What’s the most interesting thing you have read, watched or listened to recently?

JM: For the last few weeks I’ve been immersed in Steve McQueen films. I’ve been bingeing on lovers rock music. And a TV show that really moved me was [Michaela Cole’s] I May Destroy You. It’s difficult, but it was really well done and powerful. 

Ocean Vuong’s novel On Earth We Are Briefly Gorgeous is amazing. The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing is a really incredible book too – she studies this mushroom that became a delicacy in Japan in the 7th century. It started growing in deforested areas – it’s in these places destroyed by human beings that these mushrooms survive. [I find it interesting] that this mushroom grows on the edge of precarity and destruction. Like with Black folks, there is a constant aspect of insisting on yourself and reinventing yourself in the midst of constant effort of destruction. 

W*: What was the first piece of art you remember seeing? How did you feel about it?

JM: One of the first times I remember being moved by a work of art was looking through my mother’s Rembrandt book. We brought so few things back from Ethiopia and that was one of them. [Particularly] Rembrandt’s The Sacrifice of Isaac. That story is so intense. I was so moved by the light and the skin and the way the paint made light and skin. 

W*: Do you travel? If so, what does travel afford you, and what have you missed about it during Covid-19?

JM: I travel a lot, but I haven’t travelled this year. There has been this amazing sense of suspension and a pause in that. I miss travelling, but going to look at art, watching films, reading novels and listening to music is the way I travel now. For instance, I’ve been listening to Afro-Peruvian music and now I want to go to Peru.

Before I know it we will be back in this fast-paced, zooming-around environment – there is something I want to savour by staying here, now, in this time and absorbing as much as I can.

W*: You are said to have a vast collection of objects and images. Walk me through your collection – what areas, materials, makers and things have the largest presence and why?

JM: When you enter our home there is this long hallway. Framed along the wall we have around 20 fluorescent Daniel Joseph Martinez block-printed posters he made with words – almost poems. Our kids grew up reading those. One says ‘Sometimes I can’t breathe’ and another one says ‘Don’t work’, while some are really long.

We also have a great Paul Pfeiffer photograph of one from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse series. We have a group of Richard Tuttle etchings right over our dining table. We have an amazing David Hammons body print as well, and my kids’ work is all over the house.

W*: As the daughter of immigrants and an immigrant yourself – how do you conceptualise home and how do you create it?

JM: There were a lot of times I felt very transient – as a student and a young adult, going in and out of school and residency programmes. It always came back to music and food. There are certain flavours, foods, music, smells that you take wherever you go. Also as a mother, I’m building a home for my children. Home becomes something else because of them. They are the core of home now. 

W* How has motherhood affected your practice?

JM: I became much more productive when I had kids for several reasons – one is that I felt a lot of pressure to make [work] in the time I wasn’t with them, which of course is unsustainable. A large part of making is not making – thinking and searching. 

When I got to work I could get into it much more quickly. Kids grow and change so fast, you feel time is passing so you need to use it. I wasn’t going to stop working, that’s for sure. All women who are pushing in their lives make that choice. 

W*: What is your favourite myth and why does it hold importance for you?

JM: Right now I’m reading Greek myths to my ten-year-old. We’ve read them before, but he wanted to read them again. I still read to him at night even though he’s a voracious reader himself.

The myths I remember the most are myths I’ve come across in visual works. Titian’s Diana and Actaeon – I know that myth so well because of his painting. Bernini’s mesmerising sculpture of Apollo and Daphne I saw in Rome, where her body becomes a tree. The leaves are so delicately carved into the marble, it’s a work of incredible beauty. I’ve been considering this deconstructionist approach to mythology. Storytelling becomes this place to interrogate propositions, which is what I think mythology does.

W*: Have you experienced a flattening of your work?

JM: I’m always concerned with flattening and pigeonholing. That is something that happens to artists like us all the time. When I first was working and showing there was a bit of that happening with my work. It was put into the space of cartography or an architectural analysis of it. It was said to be autobiographical work.

The art world tries to consume. There is this desire to flatten and the desire for Black artists to be a reflection of their experience. I don’t think any artist is like that at all. In reality, none of us are flat. We all contain multitudes and are complicated – that has always been the core of the Black radical tradition.

[hlupdate]

Variety’s Grammy-nominated Hitmaker of the Year goes deep on the music industry, the great pause and finding his own muses.

“We’ll dance again,” Harry Styles coos, the Los Angeles sunshine peeking through his pandemic-shaggy hair just so. The singer, songwriter and actor — beloved and critically acclaimed thanks to his life-affirming year-old album, “Fine Line” — is lamenting that his Variety Hitmaker of the Year cover conversation has to be conducted over Zoom rather than in person. Even via videoconference, the Brit is effortlessly charming, as anyone who’s come within earshot of him would attest, but it quickly becomes clear that beneath that genial smile is a well-honed media strategy.

To wit: In an interview that appears a few days later announcing his investment in a new arena in his native Manchester (more on that in a bit), he repeats the refrain — “There will be a time we dance again”— referencing a much-needed return to live music and the promise of some 4,000 jobs for residents.

None of which is to suggest that Styles, 26, phones it in for interviews. Quite the opposite: He does very few, conceivably to give more of himself and not cheapen what is out there and also to use the publicity opportunity to indulge his other interests, like fashion. (Last month Styles became the first male to grace the cover of Vogue solo.) Still, it stings a little that a waltz with the former One Direction member may not come to pass on this album cycle — curse you, coronavirus.

Styles’ isolation has coincided with his maturation as an artist, a thespian and a person. With “Fine Line,” he’s proved himself a skilled lyricist with a tremendous ear for harmony and melody. In preparing for his role in Olivia Wilde’s period thriller “Don’t Worry Darling,” which is shooting outside Palm Springs, he found an outlet for expression in interpreting words on a page. And for the first time, he’s using his megaphone to speak out about social justice — inspired by the outpouring of support for Black people around the world following the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police in May.

Styles has spent much of the past nine months at home in London, where life has slowed considerably. The time has allowed him to ponder such heady issues as his purpose on the earth. “It’s been a pause that I don’t know if I would have otherwise taken,” says Styles. “I think it’s been pretty good for me to have a kind of stop, to look and think about what it actually means to be an artist, what it means to do what we do and why we do it. I lean into moments like this — moments of uncertainty.”

In truth, while Styles has largely been keeping a low profile — his Love On Tour, due to kick off on April 15, was postponed in late March and is now scheduled to launch in February 2021 (whether it actually will remains to be seen) — his music has not. This is especially true in the U.S., where he’s notched two hit singles, “Adore You,” the second-most-played song at radio in 2020, and “Watermelon Sugar” (No. 22 on Variety’s year-end Hitmakers chart), with a third, “Golden,” already cresting the top 20 on the pop format. The massive cross-platform success of these songs means Styles has finally and decisively broken into the American market, maneuvering its web of gatekeepers to accumulate 6.2 million consumption units and rising.

Why do these particular songs resonate in 2020? Styles doesn’t have the faintest idea. While he acknowledges a “nursery rhyme” feel to “Watermelon Sugar” with its earwormy loop of a chorus, that’s about as much insight as he can offer. His longtime collaborator and friend Tom Hull, also known as the producer Kid Harpoon, offers this take: “There’s a lot of amazing things about that song, but what really stands out is the lyric. It’s not trying to hide or be clever. The simplicity of watermelon … there’s such a joy in it, [which] is a massive part of that song’s success.” Also, his kids love it. “I’ve never had a song connect with children in this way,” says Hull, whose credits include tunes by Shawn Mendes, Florence and the Machine and Calvin Harris. “I get sent videos all the time from friends of their kids singing. I have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they listen to it.”

Styles is quick to note that he doesn’t chase pop appeal when crafting songs. In fact, the times when he pondered or approved a purposeful tweak, like on his self-titled 2017 debut, still gnaw at him. “I love that album so much because it represents such a time in my life, but when I listen to it — sonically and lyrically, especially — I can hear places where I was playing it safe,” he says. “I was scared to get it wrong.”

Contemporary effects and on-trend beats hardly factor into Styles’ decision-making. He likes to focus on feelings — his own and his followers’ — and see himself on the other side of the velvet rope, an important distinction in his view. “People within [the industry] feel like they operate on a higher level of listening, and I like to make music from the point of being a fan of music,” Styles says. “Fans are the best A&R.”

This from someone who’s had free rein to pursue every musical whim, and hand in the album of his dreams in the form of “Fine Line.” Chart success makes it all the sweeter, but Styles insists that writing “for the right reasons” supersedes any commercial considerations. “There’s no part that feels, eh, icky — like it was made in the lab,” he says.

Styles has experience in this realm. As a graduate of the U.K. competition series “The X Factor,” where he and four other auditionees — Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson — were singled out by show creator and star judge Simon Cowell to conjoin as One Direction, he’s seen how the prefab pop machine works up close. The One Direction oeuvre, which counts some 42 million albums sold worldwide, includes songs written with such established hitmakers as Ryan Tedder, Savan Kotecha and Teddy Geiger. Being a studious, insatiable observer, Styles took it all in.

“I learned so much,” he says of the experience. “When we were in the band, I used to try and write with as many different people as I could. I wanted to practice — and I wrote a lot of bad shit.”

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

This departs from the typical trajectories of boy bands including New Kids on the Block and ’N Sync, which have all pro ered a star frontman. The thinking for decades was that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

Styles has plainly thought about this.

“When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band. ‘Don’t worry, everyone, that wasn’t me! Now I get to do what I really want to do.’ But we loved being in the band,” he says. “I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it.”

Indeed, during the five-ish years that One Direction existed, Styles’ schedule involved the sort of nonstop international jet-setting that few get to see in a lifetime, never mind their teenage years. Between 2011 and 2015, One Direction’s tours pulled in north of $631 million in gross ticket sales, according to concert trade Pollstar, and the band was selling out stadiums worldwide by the time it entered its extended hiatus. Styles, too, had built up to playing arenas as a solo artist, engaging audiences with his colorful stage wear and banter and left-of-center choices for opening acts (a pre-Grammy-haul Kacey Musgraves in 2018; indie darlings King Princess and Jenny Lewis for his rescheduled 2021 run).

Stages of all sizes feel like home to Styles. He grew up in a suburb of Manchester, ground zero for some of the biggest British acts of the 1980s and ’90s, including Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths and Oasis, the latter of which broke the same year Styles was born. His parents were also music lovers. Styles’ father fed him a balanced diet of the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones and Queen, while Mum was a fan of Shania Twain, Norah Jones and Savage Garden. “They’re all great melody writers,” says Styles of the acts’ musical throughline.

Stevie Nicks, who in the past has described “Fine Line” as Styles’ “Rumours,” referencing the Fleetwood Mac 1977 classic, sees him as a kindred spirit. “Harry writes and sings his songs about real experiences that seemingly happened yesterday,” she tells Variety. “He taps into real life. He doesn’t make up stories. He tells the truth, and that is what I do. ‘Fine Line’ has been my favorite record since it came out. It is his ‘Rumours.’ I told him that in a note on December 13, 2019 before he went on stage to play the ‘Fine Line’ album at the Forum. We cried. He sang those songs like he had sung them a thousand times. That’s a great songwriter and a great performer.”

“Harry’s playing and writing is instinctual,” adds Jonathan Wilson, a friend and peer who’s advised Styles on backing and session musicians. “He understands history and where to take the torch. You can see the thread of great British performers — from Bolan to Bowie — in his music.”

Also shaping his musical DNA was Manchester itself, the site of a 23,500-seat arena, dubbed Co-op Live, for which Styles is an investor and adviser. Oak View Group, a company specializing in live entertainment and global sports that was founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015 (Jeffrey Azoff, Irving’s son, represents Styles at Full Stop Management), is leading the effort to construct the venue. The project gained planning approval in September and is set to open in 2023, with its arrival representing a £350 million ($455 million) investment in the city. (Worth noting: Manchester is already home to an arena — the site of a 2017 bombing outside an Ariana Grande concert — and a football stadium, where One Love Manchester, an all-star benefit show to raise money for victims of the terrorist attack, took place.)

“I went to my first shows in Manchester,” Styles says of concerts paid for with money earned delivering newspapers for a supermarket called the Co-op. “My friends and I would go in on weekends. There’s so many amazing small venues, and music is such a massive part of the city. I think Manchester deserves it. It feels like a full-circle, coming-home thing to be doing this and to be able to give any kind of input. I’m incredibly proud. Hopefully they’ll let me play there at some point.”

Though Styles has owned properties in Los Angeles, his base for the foreseeable future is London. “I feel like my relationship with L.A. has changed a lot,” he explains. “I’ve kind of accepted that I don’t have to live here anymore; for a while I felt like I was supposed to. Like it meant things were going well. This happened, then you move to L.A.! But I don’t really want to.”

Is it any wonder? Between COVID and the turmoil in the U.S. spurred by the presidential election, Styles, like some 79 million American voters, is recovering from sticker shock over the bill of goods sold to them by the concept of democracy. “In general, as people, there’s a lack of empathy,” he observes. “We found this place that’s so divisive. We just don’t listen to each other anymore. And that’s quite scary.”

That belief prompted Styles to speak out publicly in the wake of George Floyd’s death. As protests in support of Black Lives Matter took to streets all over the world, for Styles, it triggered a period of introspection, as marked by an Instagram message (liked by 2.7 million users and counting) in which he declared: “I do things every day without fear, because I am privileged, and I am privileged every day because I am white. … Being not racist is not enough, we must be anti racist. Social change is enacted when a society mobilizes. I stand in solidarity with all of those protesting. I’m donating to help post bail for arrested organizers. Look inwards, educate yourself and others. LISTEN, READ, SHARE, DONATE and VOTE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

“Talking about race can be really uncomfortable for everyone,” Styles elaborates. “I had a realization that my own comfort in the conversation has nothing to do with the problem — like that’s not enough of a reason to not have a conversation. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve been outspoken enough in the past. Using that feeling has pushed me forward to being open and ready to learn. … How can I ensure from my side that in 20 years, the right things are still being done and the right people are getting the right opportunities? That it’s not a passing thing?”

His own record company — and corporate parent Sony Music Group, whose chairman, Rob Stringer, signed Styles in 2016 — has been grappling with these same questions as the industry has faced its own reckoning with race. At issue: inequality among the upper ranks (an oft-cited statistic: popular music is 80% Black, but the music business is 80% white); contracts rooted in a decades-old system that many say is set up to take advantage of artists, Black artists more unfairly than white; and the call for a return of master rights, an ownership model that is at the core of the business.

Styles acknowledges the fundamental imbalance in how a major label deal is structured — the record company takes on the financial risk while the artist is made to recoup money spent on the project before the act is considered profitable and earning royalties (typically at a 15% to 18% rate for the artist, while the label keeps and disburses the rest). “Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music,” he says. “There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change.”

By all accounts, Styles is a voracious reader, a movie lover and an aesthete. He stays in shape by adhering to a strict daily exercise routine. “I tried to keep up but didn’t last more than two weeks,” says Hull, Styles’ producer, with a laugh. “The discipline is terrifying.”

Of course, with the fashion world beckoning — Styles recently appeared in a film series for Gucci’s new collection that was co-directed by the fashion house’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and Oscar winner Gus Van Sant — and a movie that’s set in the 1950s, maintaining that physique is part of the job. And he’s no stranger to visual continuity after appearing in Christopher Nolan’s epic “Dunkirk” and having to return to set for reshoots; his hair, which needed to be cut back to its circa 1940 form, is a constant topic of conversation among fans. This time, it’s the ink that poses a challenge. By Styles’ tally, he’s up to 60 tattoos, which require an hour in the makeup chair to cover up. “It’s the only time I really regret getting tattooed,” he says.

He shows no regret, however, when it comes to stylistic choices overall, and takes pride in his gender-agnostic portfolio, which includes wearing a Gucci dress on that Vogue cover— an image that incited conservative pundit Candace Owens to plead publicly to “bring back manly men.” In Styles’ view: “To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

But acclaim, if you can believe it, is not top of mind for Styles. As far as the Grammys are concerned, Styles shrugs, “It’s never why I do anything.” His team and longtime label, however, had their hearts set on a showing at the Jan. 31 ceremony. Their investment in Styles has been substantial — not just monetarily but in carefully crafting his career in the wake of such icons as David Bowie, who released his final albums with the label. Hope at the company and in many fans’ hearts that Styles would receive an album of the year nomination did not come to pass. However, he was recognized in three categories, including best pop vocal album.

“It’s always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff,” Styles says. “I think it’s important when making any kind of art to remove the ego from it.” Citing the painter Matisse, he adds: “It’s about the work that you do when you’re not expecting any applause.”

[hldailyupdate]

This Charming Man: Why We’re Wild About Harry Styles

Variety’s Grammy-nominated Hitmaker of the Year goes deep on the music industry, the great pause and finding his own muses.

“We’ll dance again,” Harry Styles coos, the Los Angeles sunshine peeking through his pandemic-shaggy hair just so. The singer, songwriter and actor — beloved and critically acclaimed thanks to his life-affirming year-old album, “Fine Line” — is lamenting that his Variety Hitmaker of the Year cover conversation has to be conducted over Zoom rather than in person. Even via videoconference, the Brit is effortlessly charming, as anyone who’s come within earshot of him would attest, but it quickly becomes clear that beneath that genial smile is a well-honed media strategy.

To wit: In an interview that appears a few days later announcing his investment in a new arena in his native Manchester (more on that in a bit), he repeats the refrain — “There will be a time we dance again”— referencing a much-needed return to live music and the promise of some 4,000 jobs for residents.

None of which is to suggest that Styles, 26, phones it in for interviews. Quite the opposite: He does very few, conceivably to give more of himself and not cheapen what is out there and also to use the publicity opportunity to indulge his other interests, like fashion. (Last month Styles became the first male to grace the cover of Vogue solo.) Still, it stings a little that a waltz with the former One Direction member may not come to pass on this album cycle — curse you, coronavirus.

Styles’ isolation has coincided with his maturation as an artist, a thespian and a person. With “Fine Line,” he’s proved himself a skilled lyricist with a tremendous ear for harmony and melody. In preparing for his role in Olivia Wilde’s period thriller “Don’t Worry Darling,” which is shooting outside Palm Springs, he found an outlet for expression in interpreting words on a page. And for the first time, he’s using his megaphone to speak out about social justice — inspired by the outpouring of support for Black people around the world following the death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police in May.

Styles has spent much of the past nine months at home in London, where life has slowed considerably. The time has allowed him to ponder such heady issues as his purpose on the earth. “It’s been a pause that I don’t know if I would have otherwise taken,” says Styles. “I think it’s been pretty good for me to have a kind of stop, to look and think about what it actually means to be an artist, what it means to do what we do and why we do it. I lean into moments like this — moments of uncertainty.”

In truth, while Styles has largely been keeping a low profile — his Love On Tour, due to kick off on April 15, was postponed in late March and is now scheduled to launch in February 2021 (whether it actually will remains to be seen) — his music has not. This is especially true in the U.S., where he’s notched two hit singles, “Adore You,” the second-most-played song at radio in 2020, and “Watermelon Sugar” (No. 22 on Variety’s year-end Hitmakers chart), with a third, “Golden,” already cresting the top 20 on the pop format. The massive cross-platform success of these songs means Styles has finally and decisively broken into the American market, maneuvering its web of gatekeepers to accumulate 6.2 million consumption units and rising.

Why do these particular songs resonate in 2020? Styles doesn’t have the faintest idea. While he acknowledges a “nursery rhyme” feel to “Watermelon Sugar” with its earwormy loop of a chorus, that’s about as much insight as he can offer. His longtime collaborator and friend Tom Hull, also known as the producer Kid Harpoon, offers this take: “There’s a lot of amazing things about that song, but what really stands out is the lyric. It’s not trying to hide or be clever. The simplicity of watermelon … there’s such a joy in it, [which] is a massive part of that song’s success.” Also, his kids love it. “I’ve never had a song connect with children in this way,” says Hull, whose credits include tunes by Shawn Mendes, Florence and the Machine and Calvin Harris. “I get sent videos all the time from friends of their kids singing. I have a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, and they listen to it.”

Styles is quick to note that he doesn’t chase pop appeal when crafting songs. In fact, the times when he pondered or approved a purposeful tweak, like on his self-titled 2017 debut, still gnaw at him. “I love that album so much because it represents such a time in my life, but when I listen to it — sonically and lyrically, especially — I can hear places where I was playing it safe,” he says. “I was scared to get it wrong.”

Contemporary effects and on-trend beats hardly factor into Styles’ decision-making. He likes to focus on feelings — his own and his followers’ — and see himself on the other side of the velvet rope, an important distinction in his view. “People within [the industry] feel like they operate on a higher level of listening, and I like to make music from the point of being a fan of music,” Styles says. “Fans are the best A&R.”

This from someone who’s had free rein to pursue every musical whim, and hand in the album of his dreams in the form of “Fine Line.” Chart success makes it all the sweeter, but Styles insists that writing “for the right reasons” supersedes any commercial considerations. “There’s no part that feels, eh, icky — like it was made in the lab,” he says.

Styles has experience in this realm. As a graduate of the U.K. competition series “The X Factor,” where he and four other auditionees — Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson — were singled out by show creator and star judge Simon Cowell to conjoin as One Direction, he’s seen how the prefab pop machine works up close. The One Direction oeuvre, which counts some 42 million albums sold worldwide, includes songs written with such established hitmakers as Ryan Tedder, Savan Kotecha and Teddy Geiger. Being a studious, insatiable observer, Styles took it all in.

“I learned so much,” he says of the experience. “When we were in the band, I used to try and write with as many different people as I could. I wanted to practice — and I wrote a lot of bad shit.”

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

This departs from the typical trajectories of boy bands including New Kids on the Block and ’N Sync, which have all pro ered a star frontman. The thinking for decades was that a record company would be lucky to have one breakout solo career among the bunch.

Styles has plainly thought about this.

“When you look at the history of people coming out of bands and starting solo careers, they feel this need to apologize for being in the band. ‘Don’t worry, everyone, that wasn’t me! Now I get to do what I really want to do.’ But we loved being in the band,” he says. “I think there’s a wont to pit people against each other. And I think it’s never been about that for us. It’s about a next step in evolution. The fact that we’ve all achieved different things outside of the band says a lot about how hard we worked in it.”

Indeed, during the five-ish years that One Direction existed, Styles’ schedule involved the sort of nonstop international jet-setting that few get to see in a lifetime, never mind their teenage years. Between 2011 and 2015, One Direction’s tours pulled in north of $631 million in gross ticket sales, according to concert trade Pollstar, and the band was selling out stadiums worldwide by the time it entered its extended hiatus. Styles, too, had built up to playing arenas as a solo artist, engaging audiences with his colorful stage wear and banter and left-of-center choices for opening acts (a pre-Grammy-haul Kacey Musgraves in 2018; indie darlings King Princess and Jenny Lewis for his rescheduled 2021 run).

Stages of all sizes feel like home to Styles. He grew up in a suburb of Manchester, ground zero for some of the biggest British acts of the 1980s and ’90s, including Joy Division, New Order, the Smiths and Oasis, the latter of which broke the same year Styles was born. His parents were also music lovers. Styles’ father fed him a balanced diet of the Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones and Queen, while Mum was a fan of Shania Twain, Norah Jones and Savage Garden. “They’re all great melody writers,” says Styles of the acts’ musical throughline.

Stevie Nicks, who in the past has described “Fine Line” as Styles’ “Rumours,” referencing the Fleetwood Mac 1977 classic, sees him as a kindred spirit. “Harry writes and sings his songs about real experiences that seemingly happened yesterday,” she tells Variety. “He taps into real life. He doesn’t make up stories. He tells the truth, and that is what I do. ‘Fine Line’ has been my favorite record since it came out. It is his ‘Rumours.’ I told him that in a note on December 13, 2019 before he went on stage to play the ‘Fine Line’ album at the Forum. We cried. He sang those songs like he had sung them a thousand times. That’s a great songwriter and a great performer.”

“Harry’s playing and writing is instinctual,” adds Jonathan Wilson, a friend and peer who’s advised Styles on backing and session musicians. “He understands history and where to take the torch. You can see the thread of great British performers — from Bolan to Bowie — in his music.”

Also shaping his musical DNA was Manchester itself, the site of a 23,500-seat arena, dubbed Co-op Live, for which Styles is an investor and adviser. Oak View Group, a company specializing in live entertainment and global sports that was founded by Tim Leiweke and Irving Azoff in 2015 (Jeffrey Azoff, Irving’s son, represents Styles at Full Stop Management), is leading the effort to construct the venue. The project gained planning approval in September and is set to open in 2023, with its arrival representing a £350 million ($455 million) investment in the city. (Worth noting: Manchester is already home to an arena — the site of a 2017 bombing outside an Ariana Grande concert — and a football stadium, where One Love Manchester, an all-star benefit show to raise money for victims of the terrorist attack, took place.)

“I went to my first shows in Manchester,” Styles says of concerts paid for with money earned delivering newspapers for a supermarket called the Co-op. “My friends and I would go in on weekends. There’s so many amazing small venues, and music is such a massive part of the city. I think Manchester deserves it. It feels like a full-circle, coming-home thing to be doing this and to be able to give any kind of input. I’m incredibly proud. Hopefully they’ll let me play there at some point.”

Though Styles has owned properties in Los Angeles, his base for the foreseeable future is London. “I feel like my relationship with L.A. has changed a lot,” he explains. “I’ve kind of accepted that I don’t have to live here anymore; for a while I felt like I was supposed to. Like it meant things were going well. This happened, then you move to L.A.! But I don’t really want to.”

Is it any wonder? Between COVID and the turmoil in the U.S. spurred by the presidential election, Styles, like some 79 million American voters, is recovering from sticker shock over the bill of goods sold to them by the concept of democracy. “In general, as people, there’s a lack of empathy,” he observes. “We found this place that’s so divisive. We just don’t listen to each other anymore. And that’s quite scary.”

That belief prompted Styles to speak out publicly in the wake of George Floyd’s death. As protests in support of Black Lives Matter took to streets all over the world, for Styles, it triggered a period of introspection, as marked by an Instagram message (liked by 2.7 million users and counting) in which he declared: “I do things every day without fear, because I am privileged, and I am privileged every day because I am white. … Being not racist is not enough, we must be anti racist. Social change is enacted when a society mobilizes. I stand in solidarity with all of those protesting. I’m donating to help post bail for arrested organizers. Look inwards, educate yourself and others. LISTEN, READ, SHARE, DONATE and VOTE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. BLACK LIVES MATTER.”

“Talking about race can be really uncomfortable for everyone,” Styles elaborates. “I had a realization that my own comfort in the conversation has nothing to do with the problem — like that’s not enough of a reason to not have a conversation. Looking back, I don’t think I’ve been outspoken enough in the past. Using that feeling has pushed me forward to being open and ready to learn. … How can I ensure from my side that in 20 years, the right things are still being done and the right people are getting the right opportunities? That it’s not a passing thing?”

His own record company — and corporate parent Sony Music Group, whose chairman, Rob Stringer, signed Styles in 2016 — has been grappling with these same questions as the industry has faced its own reckoning with race. At issue: inequality among the upper ranks (an oft-cited statistic: popular music is 80% Black, but the music business is 80% white); contracts rooted in a decades-old system that many say is set up to take advantage of artists, Black artists more unfairly than white; and the call for a return of master rights, an ownership model that is at the core of the business.

Styles acknowledges the fundamental imbalance in how a major label deal is structured — the record company takes on the financial risk while the artist is made to recoup money spent on the project before the act is considered profitable and earning royalties (typically at a 15% to 18% rate for the artist, while the label keeps and disburses the rest). “Historically, I can’t think of any industry that’s benefited more off of Black culture than music,” he says. “There are discussions that need to happen about this long history of not being paid fairly. It’s a time for listening, and hopefully, people will come out humbled, educated and willing to learn and change.”

By all accounts, Styles is a voracious reader, a movie lover and an aesthete. He stays in shape by adhering to a strict daily exercise routine. “I tried to keep up but didn’t last more than two weeks,” says Hull, Styles’ producer, with a laugh. “The discipline is terrifying.”

Of course, with the fashion world beckoning — Styles recently appeared in a film series for Gucci’s new collection that was co-directed by the fashion house’s creative director, Alessandro Michele, and Oscar winner Gus Van Sant — and a movie that’s set in the 1950s, maintaining that physique is part of the job. And he’s no stranger to visual continuity after appearing in Christopher Nolan’s epic “Dunkirk” and having to return to set for reshoots; his hair, which needed to be cut back to its circa 1940 form, is a constant topic of conversation among fans. This time, it’s the ink that poses a challenge. By Styles’ tally, he’s up to 60 tattoos, which require an hour in the makeup chair to cover up. “It’s the only time I really regret getting tattooed,” he says.

He shows no regret, however, when it comes to stylistic choices overall, and takes pride in his gender-agnostic portfolio, which includes wearing a Gucci dress on that Vogue cover— an image that incited conservative pundit Candace Owens to plead publicly to “bring back manly men.” In Styles’ view: “To not wear [something] because it’s females’ clothing, you shut out a whole world of great clothes. And I think what’s exciting about right now is you can wear what you like. It doesn’t have to be X or Y. Those lines are becoming more and more blurred.”

But acclaim, if you can believe it, is not top of mind for Styles. As far as the Grammys are concerned, Styles shrugs, “It’s never why I do anything.” His team and longtime label, however, had their hearts set on a showing at the Jan. 31 ceremony. Their investment in Styles has been substantial — not just monetarily but in carefully crafting his career in the wake of such icons as David Bowie, who released his final albums with the label. Hope at the company and in many fans’ hearts that Styles would receive an album of the year nomination did not come to pass. However, he was recognized in three categories, including best pop vocal album.

“It’s always nice to know that people like what you’re doing, but ultimately — and especially working in a subjective field — I don’t put too much weight on that stuff,” Styles says. “I think it’s important when making any kind of art to remove the ego from it.” Citing the painter Matisse, he adds: “It’s about the work that you do when you’re not expecting any applause.”

Harry for Variety. (2 December 2020)

[tsuzuruchipalace]

the other day i came up with, what i think is, a funny and great idea for an a3! american community college au fic, but i don’t think i have the mental strength to see it through. the last long fic i cared about was started in 2015 and i haven’t touched it since january 2018.

idk i may just write little ideas and scenes and keep them in a compilation, but i’d really like to flesh out the au more. but honestly, this is basically me vicariously living the toxic lifestyle i’ll never have through this au.

The working title is “vlog2/26” and I plan to make it a tsuzuru-centric tsuzuita fic

for reference, this story takes place during the school year of 2018-2019 in a fake little town I called Byles Ridge, Pennsylvania. I based it heavily off the city I live in. It’s a shitty northeastern suburb near Philly with a community college five minutes away from my house. In this au, most of Mankai  are Asian-Americans attending or working at Byles Ridge Community College. In my characterization, they all act like typical American gen z kids or millennials, if not slightly exaggerated. My main inspiration was the fic, now book, 006. I also drew inspiration from Community and my real life

here are some of my favorite lines from my outlining:

(fair warning: there is definitely not pg humor in this. if this is going on ao3, it’ll most likely be rated m)

Excerpt from the synopsis: Tsuzuru is like any other emotionally repressed American teenage boy in the 21st century; his hobbies include being single, jerking off, and pretending not to cry when he watches Toy Story 3.

Tsuzuru: “God is Dorothy from Finding Nemo and I’m that little goldfish she shook to death.”

Tsuzuru: “I’m atheist, but everyday I thank god that I wasn’t born British, ‘cause I don’t know how I would’ve handled having to pretend that Mr. Brightside is a good song.”

Tsuzuru: Being friends with Masumi sucks because it means that he’ll refuse to give anyone the aux. I’ll admit, Masumi can have good music taste. He introduced me to a lot of new artists on his “going to Taco Bell” playlist, but when he’s in a pissy mood, he’ll exclusively play XXXTentacion and now I know all the lyrics to Sad! and that’s not the person I want to be.

Masumi: “Sakuya, what the fuck is The Prince of Denmark. I talked up Miss Tachibana about Romeo and Juliet and said I was a big Shakespeare fan, then she started reciting old English.”

Sakuya: “Tsuzuru, are you okay? You look like you’re having another Michael in the Bathroom moment.”

Excerpt from Chikage’s profile: Does Zumba and weed on the weekends.

the entirety of tenma’s profile i’m so proud of this one

Tenma: is a popular football player who is still living off the high of being the Gerber Baby of Lucky Charms in 2003. He’s a first-year theatre major like Sakuya. Thinks he’s Troy from High School Musical. He uses Axe body spray and TikTok thirst traps to hide his increasingly apparent homosexuality and his middle school obsession with One Direction... There are two wolves inside you. One wolf is homophobic. One wolf finds Zayn Malik hot. You are Tenma Sumeragi.

Tenma: “It’s not gay to watch High School Musical bro. HSM is a cultural phenomenon and belongs in the Library of Congress. If you don’t like it, you’re a traitor to America.”

Yuki: “I have more balls than either of you and I’m wearing a Hello Kitty bath towel right now.”

Misumi: “Of course I do weed. I’m autistic, not a loser.”

Excerpt from Kazu’s profile: Has 100k followers on Tiktok for shaking his ass and being a local nuisance. Cried when Vine shut down.

Kazu: “How many times do I need to dance to Doja Cat before I get my clout?”

Excerpt from Taichi’s profile: Considered opening a cat femboy OnlyFans back when he didn’t have enough money to pay for his growing Bakugan collection. Kissed a boy once for a dare and didn’t like it, but still vibes to Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl cuz that shit slaps.

Banri: *after listening to Troye Sivan for the first time* “I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.”

Taichi: “Everyone rise for the national anthem: Sk8ter Boi by Avril Lavigne.”

Azami: “I’m gonna go listen to Pierce the Veil and cry until Gerard Way comes back.”

Tsumugi: “At this rate, I’m going to have to find a man on Christian Mingle.”

Excerpt from Tasuku’s profile: Has repressed the idea that he’s in love with Tsumugi ever since they kissed in Christian summer camp when they were 12. Doesn’t remember that, due to the repression. But Tsumugi does.

Excerpt from Homare’s profile: He either dresses like it’s 1940 or like he’s the hero from the children’s show Lazytown. Will start crying if someone brings up the Library of Alexandria

Azuma: “Do I sleep with strangers? Yes. Do I take money from strangers? Yes. Am I a prostitute? No, because those are two separate occasions.”

Guy: “Can you inform me what a Juul is?”

“That’s a fucking Baja Blast in his hand.” “What the shit.” “Itaru Chigasaki orders fucking Baja Blast from Taco Bell. Unbelievable.” “Who doesn’t. Baja Blast fucks.” “I’m snapping this.” “You’ll put that camera down right now before I snap your neck.” “The public deserves to know.” “A man has a right to privacy, especially when it comes to his eating habits.”

And if you’re interested in this au, here’s my playlist for it, subject to change (feel free to suggest songs). Some songs are what I imagine the main characters would listen to and some just fit the vibe of the au:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIjsgyx8Ea22wwH4eO-QlywAiIVWZNcCx

[manggaetteokkie]

So what are your top 5 favorite BTS songs and then top 5 favorite BTS videos?

Then what are you top 5 favorite Jikook moments? Lol Haaaard questions

Gonna combine these two cause I think these are from the same anonie, who I’m starting to think likes to make people suffer djfhskdh (if it’s not from the same person, then big rip) 

Sorry this took so long, I was really trying to narrow it down to top 5 and I think I still ended up failing... I actually do this with my friends but usually, we’re a little bit more generous by narrowing it down to stuff like: top 5 title tracks, top 5 rap-line, top 5 vocal line, top 5 albums, etc... Asking me top 5 songs from their entire discography is absolutely savage.

For my top 5 BTS songs (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE I BARELY NARROWED IT DOWN TO FIVE, YOU CANT MAKE ME RANK THEM):

Blood Sweat & Tears: the monarch, the goat, putting it simply, the absolute best. I honestly remember when the Wings short films started dropping, my friend and I panicked HARD because we were like “WTF IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS”. And then the teaser dropped, and it was so different from the “typical” BTS we’ve been getting, so we were even more confused. But then... The MV dropped and that was honestly just such a massive turning point for everything. Also, as an ARMY with a Jimin bias, I almost didn’t survive it.

Attack on Bangtan: okay this is honestly just such a fun hype song that never gets old no matter how many times you listen to it? It’s honestly a classic and whenever it plays on Run BTS, I know I’m either about to witness an epic moment or it’s gonna send my ass on the floor from laughing. (Also, let us never forget Tae’s “Nico nico niiii~”)

I Need U: okay this was The song that got me learning all their names and holy shit, I’ve listened to this song so much, it’s currently 5th most played song (out of nearly 2k songs) in my iTunes with 1,338 plays. When one hears “Fall...”, one does not simply resist the urge to belt “EVERYTHANG” with feelings. Also, funnily enough, the one that first caught my eye was Yoongi, there was something so eye-catching about the way he rapped in such a despondent manner at the start of the mv. 

House of Cards: I definitely need to put this one because I’ve listened to this song a total of 2,104 times, if you add the Prologue (short) version total (861) to the full length one (1,243). This was my “hoe” anthem long before My Time was born. I deadass fell in love with the song 10 seconds in, there was no saving me and you cannot stop anyone from doing emo bodyrolls when it comes up. Jikook’s bridge? I can’t sing to save my life but you can bet your ass I’m lipsyncing to that shit every single time.

I HATE THIS. I HATE PICKING THE LAST ONE, I WANT TO FIT THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY INTO THIS LAST SPOT FFFFFFF.

And now, the last one... can I cheat and throw Euphoria, Serendipity and Seesaw all at my 5th spot? Cause I REALLY can’t pick one out of these 3 skjdhfkshdkf I have such an emotional attachment to Serendipity and Euphoria at this point (DJ Swivel remix of Euphoria? Hello?? I almost cried??? You are me, I am you?? HMMM????), and Seesaw just really surprised me. I absolutely was not expecting it, but holy shit, Seesaw slapped and it slapped hard. At this point, I’m like, anything Yoongi touches turns to absolute gold, I can’t resist him.

Okay I have so many other faves (Spring Day, Baepsae, etc.) but since you only asked for top 5 and not, like, top 100, I have to stop myself here, but I also very curious about your top 5s if you guys wanna share!! Let’s see how well you do, only narrowing it down to 5.

For my top 5 BTS videos (I only counted Bangtan Bombs and live performances, excluding MVs, since you didn’t specify. Otherwise there are too many... just thinking about how many Run BTS episodes I could fit otherwise lmfao):

Perfect Man: I’m a Jimin stan. What did you expect, me to not include this masterpiece??

As I Told You: Good lord, Jungkook was so fkn attractive in a hockey jersey of all things. I honestly loved it so much, I can listen to the live audio as is.

2018 MMA - IDOL Intro Performance (3J focus): Again, I am a Jimin stan. But seriously, from Hobi hitting every. single. beat. while dancing on a raised platform, to Jimin’s fan dance (I streamed the show live and I couldn’t focus on anything else after), to JK lounging like the absolute king that he is, what’s not to love?

It’s Tricky Bangtan Bomb: oldie but goldie, honestly. All of them were babies but holy shit, if their casual dancing didn’t absolutely make me fall in love with them all over again. It honestly never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

BTS Carpool Karaoke: I have to admit, I honestly got stuck picking the last one so I went with this one because I feel like this is a really really good video to introduce others to BTS to. From their amazing acapella vocals (JK belting Finesse lives in my mind rent free) to how they were so perfectly themselves? You had Hobi’s sunshine smile in the middle, Baby Mochi, Jin’s “I don’t know what he said, but let’s laugh ha ha ha ha”, etc. 

Okay I have to admit something, I probably forgot like 90% of their videos so if any of you guys mention a video, I might go “AH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE SKDJFHKSH” so take this list more as a “bangtan videos you should 100% watch” :^)

For my top 5 jikook moments (you absolutely devil, how could you ask me such a question), in no particular order because, again, I actually cannot physically bring myself to rank them:

Jimin comforting a crying JK during LY: (6:05) the way Jimin ran over as soon as he saw Jungkook bent over, facing the backstage. My heart. And he kept JK company for a bit, making sure he was fine before leaving. This whole thing just makes my heart melt into a puddle no matter how many times I think/see about it because it’s like, the timing is just? Anpanman barely started and he just looked over, saw, and ran over. Jesus Christ.

That Jikook moment during SY Seoul Finale: Just how much comfort Jimin must represent for Jungkook to let the dam free once again just seeing his face aghhhhhasgdahj I literally made an entire post about that moment because of how incredibly soft it gets me. I’ve linked it but it’s also my pinned so it’s very easy to find. 

“Are you guys dating?”: (start) holy shit okay so this moment is so sdjkfhkdshkfdhks the way both of them were so giggly? It never fails to make me laugh how absolutely done Joon sounded when he said “push quickly!” Also, just how soft did Jimin make his voice when he asked “are you ready”? and how JK, the single most competitive member of BTS, was just giggling the entire time and didn’t even try pushing Jimin before Jimin ended up eliminating himself. Not to mention how JK couldn’t into Jimin’s eyes and only finally made eye contact with at the very end :^)

MMA 2018: lmao okay so I’m just gonna throw this entire fkn night into the mix. I still remember how it was the wee hours in the morning for me when I started following the live stream and damn, they were literally inseparable the entire time. My TL was exploding in Jikook content and between watching them through the official broadcast and watching the fancams, I was BUSY. They did everything: whispering to each other’s ears, slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders, JK massaging JM’s nape, JK pulling JM down to sit... phew.

GCF in Tokyo: Okay so this is one of those things that the more you think about it, the more you can’t believe it’s real. I couldn’t not include this simply because of how meaningful the whole thing was. There’s so much about it that makes me ????? because JK really booked a two-person trip to Tokyo for Jimin’s birthday. And Jimin genuinely had fun on that trip. The whole thing just shows how comfortable the two of them are with each other because they’d never had gone on a trip together elsewise. I recently saw a Korean movie director’s reaction to GCF and the whole thing didn’t have any subs, but the two reactors were like “ohhh... these two... these two must be really close” (they’d reacted to BTS MVs before, but they’re not familiar with how the members are outside of that). From my limited Korean understanding, the movie director then commented “Because the model and the director are so close, it’s very natural” (if I’ve gotten any Korean followers, I’d love to get confirmation on the words said because my Korean understanding isn’t perfect and I don’t want to be spreading crap around). GCF in Tokyo is also the first video posted under the GCF label, with JK editing the whole thing himself. He filmed, he directed, he edited. And his main actor was Jimin.

I was this 👌🏻 close to adding LY lap sitting and Rose Bowl moments but I had other faves to include so I thought I’d go with something else :^) GCF forced its way into my list, I had no say in it.

Okay so I hope this was enough skdjfhkdshfs this post got really long cause I couldn’t help myself from giving reasons for why I included the ones I did, I’m sorry sjkfhdks Please feel free to share you’re own fave songs/videos/jikook moments!!