#i was going to respond last night but couldnt decide if i wanted to write a comment or just keep it in the tags

[bunny-cncunt]

I brought my new pet home today. A sweet soft little bunny boy, needy and trembling. He looked so sweet at the market, trembling in his cage, watching the other pets get fucked and mounted and trying not to show how wet his pussy is.

Virgin. I paid extra for that. There’s nothing like training a toy from scratch, and he’s just perfect. I bring him to the bedroom, showing him his new home. He’s so shy, trying not to show his nervousness. So cute. I undress him gently, telling him pets don’t need clothes in the house. His chest is soft and can’t help but squeeze it. I hear him suppress a little sound, so I squeeze again. When I pinch his nipple he whines out loud and I see him clench his legs together.

Needy. His underwear has on obvious wet patch on it from his dripping hole and he blushes red when I see it. I clip him into his collar and cuffs, matching red leather around his throat wrists and ankles. I clip his chain to his collar and lead him to the bed where I clip him to my headboard. He squirms and I can see him rubbing his thighs together, trying to get some stimulation. When I grab his ankle he keens whining and resisting pull. I chuckle as I quickly over power him, chaining his ankles to the ceiling, his legs spread wide, hips cocked and holes exposed.

I admire his body, pretty flushed cheeks, pouty lips. His soft stomach and thighs. And his cock, hard and twitching, pink and gorgeous, I can’t help but salivate, wanting to take it into my mouth. And then his cunt, dripping wet and clearly needy, but previously untouched. A heady sense of power slips to my head, the knowledge that whatever I did to him would be the first time he experienced it coalescing in my mind as I select a cock and don my harness. Finally I chain his wrists to the headboard, keeping his arms out of the way.

He’s beautiful, spread out for me, completely exposed and at my mercy. I coat my cock in a thick layer of lube before lining it up with his cunt. He starts to whine and squirm, realizing what i intend to do and trying to buck away. I hold his hips steady pressing my weight on him to hold him still before pressing my hips forward. He wails out loud as my cockhead presses into him, stretching him open, as I use my body weight to slowly sink into his hole. He starts to cry when the head finally pops in, but sliding in deeper simply required a slow pressure.

As i nestle my cock against his cervix I take a moment to appreciate the sublime feeling of a virgin cunt. His hole flutters around my cock, stretched to its limits and full. I draw back slowly, savoring his sounds, stopping when my cock, is barely still inside him before thrusting all the way into the hilt in one hard stroke. He couldn’t disguise his moan through his tears, as his cunt begins to take its first fucking. I continue, pulling out nearly all the way before pounding back into him hard. With each thrust, the tears lessen, and the moans grow, and I start to fuck him faster and faster. By the time I get to a comfortably harsh pace he’s not crying at all, but starting to babble out little begging sounds.

Perfect. He is settling into his place, starting to realize that this is what his body was meant for, taking cock, over and over. When he cums, i kiss him deeply, pinching his nipples as a reward. But I don’t stop, instead pounding him into another, when I pull out a vibrator and hold it to his oversensitive cock he starts to cry again. I fuck his hole hard, and long, forcing him from orgasm to orgasm until his pussy isn’t even getting wet anymore, the harsh drag of his dry aching walls making it hard to thrust. When his cock finally stops getting hard, and his sobs have subsided into a half conscious whine I finally pull out.

His formerly tight pink hole now gaping open and flushed red, my cock having pounded him so long his poor cunt couldn’t take it. He looks perfect like this, hole gaping and sore, tongue lolling out of his mouth with half lidded eyes.

I slip a cool glass plug into his worn out cunt, keeping him full and soothing his aching hole, before unchaining him and wrapping him in a soft blanket.

I love breaking in my new toys.

xx

.

[heich0e]

if you've sent in an ask lately that i didn't respond to, it may be answered under the cut! i'll be dividing these posts up by general subject matter so no one has to scroll for too long to find any asks they may have sent. feel free to block the tag #liv got mail if you don't like seeing posts like this. i'm sorry to have kept you waiting, and p.s. i love you very much <3

part four: fic stuff, etc. ✉

✉ Anonymous asked: liv no one writes suna like you how am i supposed to go on when you hate him (affectionately)

u should try hating on him too it's very liberating and he's an easy target <3

✉ Anonymous asked: not a day goes by when I don't think about pollute I deeply thank you for making it 🩷😔🙏

ahhhh yes... polluted.... my gang-num opus.... thank u for enjoying one of the nastiest things i have ever written we are in this together now!!

✉ @just-jordie-things asked: hello here like everyone else to make sure you get so much love for your mini series with megumi 🤗🤭 (and also i just binged the rest of your work too 😭 😂) i love your writing style it’s so addicting i feel so involved in your stories. and i just loooove how you write megumi !! excellent work i hope you had fun with it!! have a great day/night 🫶

HI JORDIE!! u are SO KIND!! i am so happy you enjoyed the series (and hopefully whatever else you read!!) and i really really really REALLLLY appreciate you taking a moment to share these sweet words w me. sending u love and endless gratitude!! <3

✉ Anonymous asked: Hey Liv, just wanted to reach out to you

Hopefully you don't feel overwhelmed or something like that regarding your last series and everything that came along with it (also your last asks were... Let's say bizarre), so I just wanted to remind you that while I think you're an amazing writer and love what you post, I do not simply follow you for the content you put out: in fact I've become more an more interested in your persona, I think you're hilarious and witty and kind and I find myself looking forward to even you reblogging art and your keysmashes in the tags

Thank you for being so special Liv!!♥️🤩

this really ought to have gone in the love letter section because it's so incredibly sweet of you to say. u might have questionable taste in girlbloggers but omg your heart is so beautiful and kind :') thank YOU for making me FEEL so special, and for taking the time out of your life to do so. i adore u more than i could ever say and i am sending u roughly 92 MILLION kisses. love u so big.

✉ Anonymous asked: hi liv! whenever u see this i just wanted to say that im sorry u felt like u couldnt continue posting smth u created and had fun making onto ur little corner of the internet that we all have the privilege of sharing w u 🖤 it rlly does hurt when smth we make and are excited to share with others isnt met w the same kind of enthusiasm. even tho it's understandable why some ppl weren't huge fans of ur mini megumi series, im sure it was still a bit hurtful. i just wanted to say that everything you create, no matter who likes or dislikes it, is beautiful and deserving of love and recognition for the effort, time and emotions you put into making it. i hope ur break is relaxing and lovely, and i cant wait to continue supporting u and ur creativity when u get back 🖤🖤🖤

thank u little guy. i appreciate you and these words very very much <3

✉ Anonymous asked: just read the Megumi drabble series and saw your prev asks answering the continuation of it, and let me just say that (a) i LOVED the series it's absolutely adorable and also angsty and (b) i completely understand if you decide not to continue!!!! i just wanted to show some support ❤️❤️ your writing's incredible ❤️❤️ regardless of if it'll continue or not, it was an amazing read!

thank you for reading and enjoying it!! you are so sweet!! sending u a big tight squeeze

✉ Anonymous asked: LOVE YOUR LATEST MEGUMI FIC!!! I know it’s easier said than done but I hope you become more comfortable with posting whatever you want in you little corner of the internet!!!

ahhhhhh i hope so too!! and i am so grateful you enjoyed it!! thank you friend <3

✉ Anonymous asked: I loved the recent series of veterinarian Megumi and his son so much, I loved your writing. I understand you're not going to continue, but I appreciate you writing it anyway.💓

and i appreciate u reading it!!!! and enjoying it!! it means so much to me!! blowing u a big kiss rn

✉ Anonymous asked: hi hi Liv ❤️ I just wanted to say I respect your choice to not post more of your oopsy baby series to prevent others from becoming uncomfortable, and I just hope it doesn’t diminish your own joy for writing and creating.

I think it’s totally fair to acknowledge that you hadn’t included a warning or anything about the kid (almost definitely) being Megumi and reader’s, cuz that happens sometimes! Things slip through! But at the same time people don’t have to keep reading if they get to a point they’re not enjoying it.

I think I speak for a lot of people when I say I just want you to be happy in your space, so whatever way you choose to achieve that is of course the best choice for you ❤️❤️

hi hi FRIEND!! thank you for such sweet words and for being so understanding and kind. LOVE UUUUUU

✉ Anonymous asked: just wanna compliment you cause its honestly so impressive that you managed to write and outline multiple stories in the past two weeks. you never fail to amaze me with your creativity keep up with the amazing stuff and take care of yourself :)

i feel so SO lucky to have an outlet to dump all my silly little ideas into when they strike, and to have people (like you!!) who are there to enjoy them along with me!! hope you're well sweet thing!!

✉ Anonymous asked: PLEASE GOD YOUR WRITING IS IMMACULATE. LIKE DOWNRIGHT SWEEPING ME OFF MY FEET IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SEE YOU POST IMMACULATE.

write whatever makes you comfortable, parenthood or not because after all, YOU are the one who is writing it and everyone has their own responsibility to scroll if they dont like your comment. anyway, sending lots of love, YOU DESERVE IT ALL!!

WAHHH u are so kind!! sending u a big squish and so much love right back <3 and thank you for such a lovely bit of reassurance i appreciate u!!

[one last note: there were some other asks about the mini megumi series that i wasn't sure if i should include. i never want to post or share anything that someone might interpret as targeted, or alienating, or sensitizing in any way—and i'm ready to move on and not rehash any old wounds. i know they all came from a very kind place, and i am so truly and sincerely appreciative of anyone who reached out to check on me, or support me, or tell me that they enjoyed the series. love u always and tremendously, liv. xx]

[tastyykpop]

hii! can i request a jeno very angsty scenario where its his s/o and his anniversary but he forgets abt it bc the dreamies wanted to go to an amusement park and then the managers took his phone so when he comes home his s/o and him get into a fight and they dont talk to each other but she always goes their dance practices since his s/o is so used to taking care of him and he gets sad bc his s/o doesn't look at him at all and he's tired because since he's so stressed with the cbs he just wants love but he knows he's wrong and they make up and stuff:) I'm sorry if this is long! you dont have to do it if you dont want to:)<3

a/n: jdjsjsjsj thanks for this beefy request it was fun to write :)

[sᴀʟᴛʏ]

𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥,ƒℓυƒƒ

Sitting on your bed, you wondered when your boyfriend was coming home. After texting him where he was and wondering when he'd come pick you up to celebrate your guy's anniversary, youd started losing hope seeing as he never answered or bothered reading them. You knew jeno to always answer after just one second but it was like he was ignoring you.

Furious and heartbroken, you threw your phone on at the other side of the bed and decided to just take off the dress you were going to surprise him in. It was his favorite color too. A deep shade of blue silk, comfortable and cute yet still appropriate enough to wear at the fancy restaurant you guys were planning on going to. But those plans were thrown out the window quickly once you noticed how late it was.

"Why do men?" your eyes rolled as you moved in your bed, trying to get comfy.

"Why do men what?" You shot up in the bed from the sound of jenos voice as it basically frightened you back to reality. He was so quiet, you didn't even hear him walk through the door.

"Its about time you showed up." Jeno raised an eyebrow at your sudden aggression, not knowing why you were suddenly angry at him. He thought you'd be excited to see him.

"Woah why are you getting mad at me?" He questioned as he started changing out of his work clothes and into his pajamas.

You grit your teeth. How could he forget this special day that only comes once a year? "Did you forget what day it is?"

Jeno cocked his head to the side, "Um...Tuesday?" He really was clueless on where you were going with this, but your face made him realize he was missing something.

"Jeno..." your head fell into your hands, your boyfriend sat next to you in the bed, still wondering what he was missing and why it was on the tip of his tongue, "Our anniversary, you missed our damn anniversary."

The boys eyes bugged, he knew he missed something and the whole day he couldn't figure it out. He had been so stressed with the recent comeback and the upcoming one that even something as simple as an anniversary date slipped his mind.

God, he felt so bad just thinking how excited you probably were today to go out with him and enjoy your guy's day together, but because of him, your day was long gone and passed up.

"No wait, that was today!? Babe I'm so sorry, I was with the dreamies at the amusement park and I didn't have my phone with me because my manager took it and-" jeno stopped mid sentence before noticing he still didn't have his phone and forgot to get it back from his manager. He messed up bad today.

"You could've told me beforehand you were doing something with dream, although I still wouldn't have appreciated you missing our anniversary, but at least you wouldve told me where you went." You showed your annoyance by rolling over in bed, ignoring jeno.

Jeno growled at his sudden frustration, he already apologized and explained himself why are you still mad? "You know what? At least I told you what the hell I was doing and why I couldn't respond. Yeah I missed the anniversary, but you know what? Its just the fucking time of year we started dating, the day will come again."

"So what you're telling me is you don't care about the day we started dating? Whatever I'm not in the mood to argue right now." You never turned to look at jeno once you finished talking, needless to say you didn't care what he was going to reply with. It wasnt like he cared anyway.

The bass of the music boomed in the practice room. Everyone was so tired these past few days and were anxious for the upcoming comeback that all they wanted to do was relax for once and take a break.

Jeno especially.

After the little argument you both had last night, he couldnt get that out of his head. There were no words spoken to him this morning and you didn't even spare him a glance. His heart broke for sure and he didnt know what to do because he knew he messed up bad. Saying those words to you and knowing how much it meant to you, was something he wish he could take back and start over.

Walking through the practice door, you took a seat on the floor where you rested your head against the wall with bags of food for the members. They were doing so well preparing for their comeback you wanted to congratulate them for working so hard. Plus, you wanted to make sure jeno had eaten today.

"Is that food for us!?" Chenle came barging towards you, giving you a strong squeeze as you laughed into his shoulder.

"Yeah I got food for everyone to congratulate you guys for working so hard." You smiled and handed the bags of food to chenle who looked about ready to take it for himself and eat it.

"Thanks so much y/n! You're the best!" He hopped away happily with the food. Jeno stared between the food and you. He loved how you took care of everyone and still came to their practice though you both weren't on best of terms at the moment, but you weren't even looking at him or acknowledging his presence again, only returning your attention to your phone.

Jaemin wrapped an arm around jenos shoulders as he was eating a chicken wing and looked at the you as well, "Whats up with the both of you all of a sudden? Normally you guys are being so disgustingly cute that I have to walk away for a solid 5 minutes." Jaemin sighed.

"I-its nothing. We just-"

"What is it?"

Jeno shook his head and put on the best smile he could muster while patting jaemins back, "its really nothing jaemin." He said and walked over to the food.

You on the other hand felt bad for causing jeno to be this way. He was silent and didn't really interact with the members when they were eating and goofing around. Not even haechan or mark could crack him. You sighed, putting your phone down and leaned your head against the wall. The only way for all this tension between the two of you would be to settle this and forgive one another. It shouldn't be that hard.

"Jeno," you called, startling your boyfriend who perked up with full cheeks, "come here please."

The dreamies silently watched jeno amble towards you, too invested in what was going to happen to continue talking. You didn't seem to care though, just wanting to get it over with and talk with jeno.

You still stared at the ground avoiding eye contact with jeno, but he couldnt take it. All he wanted was your attention on him.

"Can't you just look at me," he muttered before taking a seat in front of you, "I know I messed up, but please?"

You blinked up at him, "wait...jeno are you tearing up?"

Jeno sniffled back the tears and looked at you with big puppy eyes, your heart sank at the sight. You didn't intend to hurt him, you were just sad and angry about one important thing. And now you think maybe ignoring him had gone too far.

"Please dont cry." You took his hand into yours, softly caressing his knuckles.

"I-im sorry I cant help it. I know I messed up and now you're ignoring me and its just so frustrating because of the comebacks and I'm so used to you taking care of me that I can't even go one day without you loving me." Jeno teared up again. If just a day could hurt him, imagine what would happen if you kept this up.

"You think I dont love you right now?" You asked. Jeno nodded his head slowly, "Babe, of course I love you, I was just mad you forgot or anniversary and went to the amusement park with the dreamies." A sigh fell from your lips before you lifted jenos chin up, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night and argued. I dont expect you to be perfect jeno."

There was a smile on the boys face as he brought a hand behind your head and kissed your cheek, "Im sorry, I really am baby. I promise ill make it up to you." He said.

"I know a really cute restaurant. We can have a cute date later." You smiled and jeno nodded his head happily until you heard a groan come behind him.

"This was so disgusting. I need to walk away now."

[smutty-ki113r]

I will definitely share my experience with you if it makes you feel motivated!!!!!

Now, first of all, it took me a WHILE to finally shift. AND LMFAO THE FIRST TIME I SHIFTED I GOT SCARED AND WENT BACK TO MY CR AND I WAS SO PISSED, but like after a couple more tries I finally was able to shift again and omfg it gave me euphoriaaa I almost didn't want to leave but I love my friends and family in my CR too much.

When I went back to my CR though I was EXHAUSTED, so that's why I recommend taking care of your body and nourishing it correctly before you shift because there's a 99% chance that when you wake up your body will feel like crap if you don't.

The process of shifting was so aggravating, everytime I would try shifting my body would give me the signs that it was working and I would get too excited and just jump up only to be disappointed smhsmh.

Also I have this dumb thing where I always feel like there's tiny things crawling all over me and it always fucks with me when I shift. Even when I'm trying to sleep normally it pisses me off because I'm always feeling likes there's ants on me or some shit.

I honestly don't shift very often, only when I really feel like I want to, because it's really mentally exhausting and when I used to do it often I would end up getting realllyyy depressed when I wasn't in my DR and that's dangerous because I don't want to be obsessed with it and end up damaging myself. So if you do end up shifting, don't do it too often.

Anyway, when I first got into shifting and tried it out, these are things I was doing wrong:

- I wasn't taking care of my body

- I was doubting my abilities in shifting

- I wasn't meditating often

- I wasn't listening to subliminals throughout the day

Listening to subliminals often is importantttt, it helps to really engrave the shifting concept into your mind and meditating is extra important because if you want to shift healthily you're going to have to really give yourself that brain power/strength and clear away all the anxiety you have, the more you doubt your ability the shift the more your brain is going to pass on it.

Also I remember a time I was at a fucking sleepover and I decided to attempt to reality shift AND RIGHT WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO MY FRIEND WOKE UP AND SLAPPED ME BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I DIED I-

It was frustrating.

The process is frustrating, but shifting is possible, and if you really really want to do it then you can. Keep encouraging yourself and keep researching and taking care of your body and your brain will finally get there.

Also, while you're in the process, it's also so important to NOT get distracting while you're shifting or get too excited. It will 100% mess you up. Shifting requires intense concentration and you need your body to be completely relaxed, only think about your DR and ONLY think about what will happen when you get there, will you smell or hear something, or will you open your eyes to something, it all depends on how you script it.

Also do whatever method works for you and try all kinds of methods, me personally I used a combination of the raven method, staircase method, and counting method while using a heartbeat subliminal. It may seem like a lot but it's what worked best for me personally.

Anyways, I hope this helped! ^^

👅

OK I finally have time to respond to this in DETAIL YAY! Btw, thank you so sososoosososs much for taking the time to write this out. Also you don’t have to read any of this, it’s just me talking about it lollll.

First off, UPDATE: bro I wasn’t trying to shift last night and then I was tired (3am) so I tried to sleep but couldnt so I listened to (DO NOT LAUGH ISTG) the song of unhealing cause its calming. And I started hearing this sort of muffled noise, I tried paying attention but couldnt make it out so I think it was voices. And then- holy lord I almost lost- wait no I LOST MY SHIT. I heard knocking, a fucking ACTUAL knock, I fucking. My whole body got so hot and I had to stop cause I was so excited I cried. Then I was exhausted so I went to sleep.

SECONDLY. I’ve never heard of your body being exhausted after so thank you for the tip. I used to be convinced I was there and then I wasn’t. FUCKING ME TOO! I think there’s a fucking dust particle on my arm and then an itch on my neck or something.

I have been scared of that too, because I have had (and I feel horrible saying this but it’s the internet and you dunno who I am) a very rough childhood. Maladaptive daydreaming and just pretending I somewhere else gave me a lot of trauma, especially in really bad situations. I think a huge part of why I haven’t shifted yet is because of the existential crisis I will most definitely have. I already obsess enough over this world, and now I’m trying to go? It’s hard, but I can’t NOT do it. If I stop then I won’t have a goal, and if I’m constantly going for something do I have a purpose? SEE? I can’t help it.

Ok so I’ve been trying for a while too, and I AM COMPLETLY CONFIDENT that I can do it, also that I do meditate every day! Taking care of my body is sort of a lost cause, I refuse to eat fruits and vegetivles (stupid I know) but I used to associate “healthy” foods with my *TW* an*rexia. Now I feed off pasta, also cause it’s cheaper. I sleep at 1 or 2am because why. Because I am 1. Writing and I need to post on schedule 2. Listening to music and imagining that I’m already in my dr. Or doing other unholy things. I can’t stop exercising, so Im constantly tired and heavy, I feel bad if I don’t/ do less. I have tried taking care of myself for years, it’s very, very hard.

You’re so right, I need to get the idea in my head and establish it. HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOURE DOING IT? Do you detach from your body? Or do you melt through your skin?

Hehehe I do tend to get excited, but my good voice tries so hard to hold me down. I have been trying to keep myself concentrated in creative ways, just focusing on the sound of the knocking, or the sound of the fan, or the person I’m trying to get to. The person I will fucking push myself to the edge for because I want him to have someone to love him. I want him to be ok.

I know I can do it, I know it’s possible, I know I will do it. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <3

[simpsiren]

rooftop star.

jung jaehyun x reader

Every time I look up in the sky. There's not a single star. It's alright, you're my universe, shine bright for me

main masterlist

description: you realised that love can bloom basically anywhere when you met a guy who entered your comfort space of the rooftop one day.

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers au

warnings: none

word count: 3,744

a/n: this idea just came to my mind while listening to rooftop by n.flying so i hope you guys will enjoy! if you guys have any requests or feedback please let me know :D

for a long time, you and your two close friends, Alex and James, wanted to go away from your home country. some place new and fresh, to start a better live. now you guys are finally living in your dreams of wanting to move to london, it didnt exactly turn out the way you wanted to, well it did. at least for a year.

now, you are just laying down on the long and wide wooden bench at your apartment's rooftop, looking at the sky like what you would do any other night, with your unfinished assignment scattered beside you along with your opened laptop with a blank screen. you would come to visit the rooftop every night, unless you had plans with Alex and James or errands to run of course.

no matter the weather, no matter the situation, you would always head there. in your opinion, you fet that you spent more time up at the rooftop than in your own apartment. its just something about the atmosphere of the place. no one ever came to the rooftop when you were there, the clear plastic that covers the entire rooftop to protect you when it rains, and the sky. you loved looking at the sky. whether there were shining starts filling up the sky or a black void of nothingness, you felt comfort in just looking at it. you felt as though.. it filled your loneliness since you werent able to meet your friends as often anymore as they were too preoccupied with their separate lives. you didnt have any other friends, nor did you bother to find some. you were fine with being alone, only because the sky was able to accompany you 24/7.

it was currently 1am, you sighed and you continued to lay down on the wooden bench with your forearms below your head. you tilted your head. you noticed here were stars. although it wasnt shining brightly, you were still able to see them. you turned your head sideways to face the papers that were all over the place besde you. you graoned as you forced yourself to sit up, gathering all the strength and brain power you had to complete the one assignment that your lecturer gave you for the week. you were already almost done so you might as well finish it by tonight so that you coukd have a break for the rest of the week. you pulled your computer towards you and took a deep breathe before getting back to work after a 30 minute rest from looking at the sky.

you were blasting out music while you were doing your work sincd you left your earpiece at your apartment. the music you listened to had you bobbing your head slolwy to the beat, the calming rhythm pushing you to do your work. just before the next song was about to play, you flinched at a voice that sounded like there was someone standing at the enterance of the rooftop.

"paris in the rain by lauv."

you tilted your head to the direction of the voice, shocked to see a man standing there. you couldnt see him clearly due to the darkness but you could make out that he was a tall man. "im sorry?" you questioned, gaping your mouth open slightly and raising an eyebrow. this was the first ever time you have seen someone coming up to the rooftop. you kept silent as you watched the unknown man walking towards you, his appearence becomig more clear as he stepped out of the darkness and entered the light of the rooftop. "the song you played. it was nice." the man said in a polite and slightly cheerful tone as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and placed his weight on his right leg. you looked at him up and down skeptically. he had light brown hair. he was wearing a plain dark blue hoodie and jeans.

"what are you doing here?" you asked him again, still stunned by how even a radom person showed up here. "you mean i cant enter?" he casually asked you back as he sat down on the floor. you wondered why till you noticed that the whole wooden bench you were sitting on was filled with your papers laying around.you closed your laptop and shook your head slightly. "no i mean i literaly locked the door. how did you-"

"i guess me being a locksmith has come in handy for once in my life." you heard him chuckle softly as he looked down on the floor before looking up at you. "please leave." you murmured softly as you grabbed a piece of paper near you and started writing something on it for your assignment. "this is a public place, you know? but it looks like youve made it your own." you glanced up from the paper to him, noticing that he was looking around the rooftop and looking at the decorations you put up such as fairy lights and lanterns.

“who are you?” another question pops out of your mouth. “you have way too many questions now dont you? alright im jung jaehyun, 23 years old.” the man now you know as jaehyun grins widely as he put his hand out to offer a handshake. “olivier rings.” you simply replied, not even bothering to shake his hand. jaehyun clicks his tongue and puts his hand back down to his lap. “nice name. so, why are you here at this ho-“

you immediately cut him off. “why dont you tell me why are you here? i am aware this is a public space but no one has ever came here till you showed up and i am very uncomfortable with talking to strangers. please leave.” you watched as his face grow dark and emotionless. you clearly made him upset, but he was quick to force a soft smile. “im staying here. you seem like someone i can vibe with.” jaehyun shrugged and lifted his head up to look at the sky through the plastic dome. you laughed softly. “you sure you can vibe with someone like me?” you whispered under your breathe and you lay down on the wooden bench once again, looking up at the sky just like how jaehyun was.

the both of you were silent for at least 20 minutes, not interacting, just admiring the sky with full focus. “i think i should get going. i have a lecture tomorrow.” you sat up straight and yawned, waiting for jaehyun to respond. jaehyun tilted his head back down to face you and nodded in approval.

you stood up from the wooden bench and began packing up, picking up every piece of paper on the bench and placing them in your tote bag. you felt jaehyun’s presence beside you as he assisted you in gathering up your papers and handing them to you. you let out a soft ‘thank you’ before carrying your tote bag over your shoulder and holding the laptop in your arms. “i have the keys to lock the rooftop but i certain someone apparently got through it.” you rolled your eyes as you walked over to the exit of the rooftop that leads to a flight of stairs. you heard jaehyun chuckled as he followed behind you. “ill come by to fix the lock tomorrow, dont worry.”

jaehyun was quick to open the door before you do and turn to you to give you one last smile before going down the stairs and disappearing into the darkness. you stood at the exit for awhile, thinkig over what you have just encountered with a stranger named jaehyun. you sighed, hoping to not see him again as you turned off the switches to the fairy lights at the bottom right of the exit door and left.

the next day, you had just got home from your morning lecture. luckily for you, the major you took only had a fews days of the week when you had to attend for lectures. other than that, you would just complete your assigned work at home, giving you the opportunity to work in your comfort space aka the rooftop.

it was a nice day today since that after the lecture, you did not have much work to do and decided to take the day off. you went to the donut shop nearby your apartment to get your favourite donut, one that you would buy at least once every two weeks when you are free. today is your lucky day.

you head straight to the rooftop with your donut in hand. you figured that you didnt have to vsit your apartment since you have everything you need up at the rooftop. you have a place where you can lay down comfortably, you have all your necessities im your bag such as a portable, your laptop and the whole rooftop just felt like your second home. you opened the door, knowing that there was no lock anymore due to the man named jaehyun who broke it and entered the rooftop.

you released a deep long sigh of relief as you bask in the light coming from the sun, closing your eyes for a moment as your head tilts up to the sky. you stayed there for a moment before walking towards the large wooden plank that you call your bench and bed area and instantly lay down on it. well, it had a thin white mattress over it, with a huge furry yellow pillow. while decorating the rooftop, you really wanted to make it as comfortable as possible, and for the purpose of in case you sleep through the night on top there, which you have done several times.

you placed your bag beside the so called bed and looked at your phone. it was evening at this point and the sunset was just about to come. you sat up straight and took a bite of your donut before reaching to the small area that is between the bench and the edge of the rooftop to take out your portable speaker. you kept it hidden in case anyone comes into the rooftop but you have it charge in your apartment once in awhile. you connected your phone to the speaker with bluetooth and blasted music from your ‘chill playlist’ on spotify. the first song playing was by pink sweats. you hummed the lyrics and bobbed your head as you took another bite of the donut in one hand and look through your social media with your phone on the other. you instantly look up from your phone from you heard the door open.

you see a tall man. this time you were fully able to know who he was in broad daylight. “jung jaehyun.” you looked down beside him to see him carrying what looked like bubble tea, for two? “i knew you’d be here.” you licked your dry lips as you folded your arms and watch him walk over to the bench, placing the drinks on your foldable dining table beside it and took a seat next to you. you moved to the side a little to make a small gap between you two, still unsure if you could event trust him just yet. “how’d you know i would be here?” you asked him as you folded your legs.

“judging from the rooftop thing you have going on, it looked like you come here often. most people like to come up to rooftops to look at the scenery. sunsets, night skies and such.” jaehyun shrugged calmingly, extending his arm over you, to which you backed your body away a little, noticing that he was reaching for the bubble tea. he grabbed it and took a sip. “so i made an intelligent guess that you would be here to watch that.” you heard jaehyun chewing on the drink’s pearls in his mouth as he pointed his drink.

you looked towards the direction he was pointing at the see a beautiful sunset arising. you gaped your mouth in awe, the song in the background making the whole atmosphere more fitting. you softly smiled and chuckled, grabbing the other bobble tea on the table and poking a straw into it before taking a sip. “im guessing this is for me?” jaehyun turns to you when he heard the noise of the straw poking through. he nodded his head as he swallowed the last pearl that was in his mouth. “for breaking your lock.” you hummed as you watched the sunset.

“it looks so beautiful.” you whispered, just loud enough for jaehyun to hear. you heard jaehyun sigh in satisfaction. “definitely.” you and jaehyun took a sip of your bubble tea drinks.

“get me brown sugar milk tea next time.” you told jaehyun. your turned towards him when you heard him scoff with a smile. “what?” you asked in annoyance. “you want me to come back here again? says the one that told me to leave yesterday.” jaehyun rolled his eyes. you let out a ‘tsk’ in response. “well of course i told you to leave. i didn’t know you at all yesterday.” you argued back.

the sun has now set completely and the sky became dark. “so you assume you know me now?” jaehyun raised an eyebrow with a smirk appearing on his lips. “that’s wasnt what i meant- jeez you’re so hard to talk to.” you huffed and ran your hand through your hair as you admitted defeat, too tired to even argue with a man you just met.

“mind if i stay here till midnight or something? i have no other plans tonight, i have to fix that lock of yours, and this place really is a nice spot to look at the stars.” you stared at him as you hard what he said. does he like to look at the stars like you do? maybe he wouldn’t be so hard to vibe with after all.

that night, you and jaehyun talked for hours while looking at the night sky. you found that that he recently moved into the apartment next to yours and he was working a bookstore nearby. the habit that you and jaehyun share of looking at the sky was what started your whole friendship. little by little, the two of your grew closer and closer together. you two carried on with your separate lives of course, but you and him will always spend time together, even if it meant one minute, to meet at your rooftop and admire the scenery of your town, counting every star you see in the sky together, and even looking down, observing the people that walked by, making intelligent guesses on what they work as based on what they were wearing or how their lives looked liked.

by 6 months of being friends with jaehyun, the friendship became more intense, in the physical way. one day, jaehyun caught you crying as he entered the rooftop. you later told him that Alex got into an accident and was badly injured. jaehyun hugged you close to him to comfort you. of course, that is what anyone would have done if they seen you crying, screaming, and balling your eyes out. but with jaehyun, you felt safe and secured in his hug. just the way he hugged your body, gently brushing his hand through your hair as he talked about the stars and came up with goofy stories as to how each star came to be. you laughed with the way he comfort you as he looked down to stare at your eyes, fully immersed into you.

“if you need me, ill be here. ill be like the rooftop, your very own comfort space.” a single tear rolled down your cheek as your bit your lip, fully aware that your eyes are red and sore from crying too much. jaehyun brings his thumb up to get rid of the tear before pulling you in once more, your face landing on his shoulder as you were finally able to calm your body and let it rest against his, melting away at his warm touch.

“jaehyun?” you looked at jaehyun, who you have been cuddling with since 8pm. “what is it, oli?” jaehyun asked back, patting your head as his grip around your waist got tighter to bring your closer to him. “i dont see any stars out tonight. why did you keep talking about them?” you questioned jaehyun. the whole time you were together with him today, he talked as if there were millions of stars in the sky, but every time you look up, you dont see a single one. you just saw a blank black sky.

jaehyun chuckled as the brushed a few strands of hair behind your back. “ever since i met you, no matter what the sky looked like every night, i still see stars. not the ones in the sky, but the ones in your eyes.” jaehyun sighed as he brought his hand to cup your cheek. you stared at him, your eyes froze as you made eye contact with him, not fully aware of what he was talking about. “im aware there isnt a single star out tonight, but its alright. you’re my universe, so shine bright for me.” you blinked at him. he has always said flowery words to you for fun, but the look in his eyes felt like he meant those words seriously. you hummed, out of not exactly knowing what to reply. “you’ll find out what i mean.” was all jaehyun said as he suddenly noticed you falling asleep in his arms.

the next day, you woke up, you winced at the sun shining brightly as it blinded your eyes. you rubbed your eyes before sitting up straight. you realised jaehyun was gone. that’s weird to be frank, normally if you fell asleep, he would be there for you the moment you wake up. whether he was cuddling you close, or brought out to buy you breakfast. you shrugged and moved on with your day, thinking that he would be back by tonight.

wrong, he didn’t show up. every night, you waited and waited mindlessly, thinking that he would pop up at the door of the rooftop. you didn’t know where he went or what he was doing during the time he was gone and it made you worried sick. it felt as though he left you for no reason. your comfort space left, and you didn’t know what to do without it. the rooftop doesn’t feel the same without the presence of jaehyun. as time went on, you still carried on with your routine of sitting by the rooftop, but you felt an aching in your heart every time you step into it. “this used to be my comfort space, along with you. so why did you have to go?” you questioned yourself, one year after his disappearance.

one day, you were hugging your knees close to your chest as you cradled yourself slowly, while looking up at the stars. “its alright. you’re my universe, so shine bright for me.” the last important words that jaehyun said kept replaying in your head, still wondering what he meant by that. you took a quick look around your rooftop. “fuck.” you whispered as you broke down in tears, noticing how much you miss jaehyun. the feelings of your love for him only grew as time went on and you couldn’t hold it in no more. you needed him here, right now.

“oli.” you heard your name being called at the entrance of the rooftop. you immediately jolted your head towards the door. you see someone standing there, and you know exactly who it was. “jaehyun..” you whispered as you watched jaehyun emerge from the shadows, revealing himself after being missing for over a year. you broke down even more, letting your eyes run dry as you cried out loudly, screaming jaehyun name. jaehyun instantly ran towards you and hugged you, a feeling that you longed for too long. “sh sh oli. its okay, im finally back.” jaehyun lightly kisses your ear as he ducks his head into your neck. you cried into his chest as his shirts started to soak in your tears.

“where.. where did you go? i fucking missed you.” you murmured as you looked up at jaehyun, who’s eyes immediately softened as he looked at your crying face. he wipes the excess tears on your cheeks dry with the end of his sweater and sighed. “i had to move out of the country to visit my sick mother. since she was feeling better after a year, i headed back here.” you felt his hand on your head as soothing his hand over your hair like the good old days. you really missed him. his presence, his touch. everything. “you didn’t tell me you were leaving.”

you looked down as you played with his sweater, fiddling your fingers with it. however, jaehyun brings his hand to connect with your interlocking the fingers of both of your hands with his. he brought your interlocking hands up in front of you. “princess, i hinted at you, didnt i?” you blinked at him as you tilted his head, the last words that he gave before he went away popped in your head. “what do you mean by shine bright for you?” you asked jaehyun as you frowned. jaehyun dropped his hands, along with yours to your lap, his face moving closer in your lips were just inches apart.

“it meant that no matter where you are, if i look at the most brightest star in the sky, ill be reminded of you. it also meant that you should have faith that ill come back to you, since you’re my universe, and my only brightest star.” with that jaehyun pulled you in by your waist, brushing his lips against yours before bringing you into a soft and gentle kiss. you kissed him back as you melted into him, fully letting him deepen the kiss. you closed your eyes in satisfaction as you smiled into the kiss. you leaned in closer as you wrapped your arms around his neck. you pulled away for a moment as you stared at his face. “then shine bright for me as well, jung jaehyun.”

“as i will.” you pulled him in for another kiss. who knew that a love like this can be made from meeting at a rooftop?

[exsqueeze-me]

Bleeding Heart (ch. 4)

(This chapter is longer than usual, mostly to make up for my lack of writing recently! The schedule for updates on this fic are just gonna be random from here on out cause I've been procrastinating on coming up with ideas for this fic lol. I hope you all enjoy!)

It had been a few weeks since you had found the three, and since then you somehow convinced Bardock to take occasional adventures to hunt. You had also managed to get the boy, who's name you soon learned to be Raditz, to help you out in the kitchen every now and then. The baby, or Kakarot, had warmed up to you, if only slightly. After realizing he would get in trouble with Bardock for quite literally biting the hand that feeds, he began to try to cause as much trouble as a strange, alien child could. He always somehow managed to wreck your kitchen and living room when he was left unattended, which was surprisingly easier to deal with than getting bit every time you neared the baby.

Raditz took a few days, but he warned up to you pretty quickly, especially in comparison to Bardock and Kakarot. It was clear from what you've seen in the past few weeks that he didnt have a very good relationship with his father, so any praise for a job well done in the kitchen and the occasional extra dessert when he was having a bad day went a long way. That's not to say that everything was hunky dory all the time, Raditz would still get defensive very easily with you. There had been several times where he had growled and bared his teeth because you moved just a little too fast for his liking.

Bardock was a different story. While he had accepted the fact that you weren't a threat nor were you trying to be, he still seemed to dislike your presence. Usually, it was just you and Raditz in the house, as Bardock would usually go out to train and you would call on your old master, Gohan to babysit Kakarot(which convincing Bardock to let that happen was a whole new argument. Although, he softened up to the idea when he saw how well Gohan handled his son despite Gohan's old age), but when Bardock was home, it was either awkward silence or constant snide remarks about how weak and pitiful you were. Raditz often got similar snide remarks, so that might have also been why the boy warmed up to you so easily. Despite being an all around ass, Bardock was extremely helpful. While it took a minute to explain human currency and why you couldnt afforded to constantly feed them, he began to hunt for meat and such every day and even dragged Raditz out with him to gut it and skin it all for you. Granted, you did have to get onto them a few times for leaving picked carcasses too close to the house or nitpick them what to keep and what not to keep, even if Bardock bitched at you for wasting the leftovers. If there was ever something that you couldn't open yourself, Bardock would(with complaints and insults) open it for you with ease. He surprisingly wasnt very content with sitting around and letting you do everything, so he occasionally would stalk you around the house, waiting for you to ask him to help with something. His helpfulness made it easier to deal with the fact that he seemingly couldnt stand you.

Today was one of those days where Bardock took Kakarot to try to 'train him'. You knew Bardock was a fighter through and through, but training a four year old seemed a bit much. When you tried to ask about it, he only ever told you that it's just how his race is, so you eventually let it slide. Neither of them ever came back hurt, so you just accepted it.

Looking at the clock, you decided now would be a good time to start dinner. Calling Raditz from his room to help grab the meat from the cooler(that you had to buy in the largest available size specifically for the copious amounts of meat that Bardock brought back) while you began to cut up veggies. Raditz always seemed pretty happy to help cook and you often wondered if he used to help his mother cook as well. Raditz dropped a few big slabs of meat on the counter before looking up at you expectantly.

"Anything else you need me to do?" Raditz asked. He seemed to be having a pretty good day today.

You thought about it for a moment. If these people really wanted to hurt you, they would have done so by now.

"Can I trust you with a knife?" You asked him.

He seemed to erupt with glee at the question. His tail swished back and forth behind him as a smile broke out on his face and he almost seemed to bounce in place.

You let out a sigh but you couldnt help but smile as well. Raditz had to be the most bipolar fourteen year old you'd ever met, but he was an overall good kid.. usually. He had his moments where he did everything in his power to get on everyone's nerves.

"Alright, but be careful, okay?" You handed him the meat cleaver.

As soon as the handle of the knife was in his hands, a switch seemed to have flipped. The smile dissapeared from his face and he stared down at the knife sadly.

"Raditz?" You carefully called his name out. It wasnt unusual for him to flip flop emotions, but he was rarely sad.

"My mom used to use one of these.." Raditz's voice was soft , much unlike his usual loud manner of speaking. His tail curled a bit and he shifted on his feet.

You both stood in silence for a moment before he shook his head and began to cut the meat into thick,even slices. You spared him one last, lingering look before continuing to cut veggies. You didnt know what to say, or if there was anything you could say.

The sun was meeting the horizon when Bardock returned with Kakarot. Although he was clearly curious, Bardock didnt question the strangely solemn feel in the house. He was used to hearing you go on about everything that happened, occasionally asking him about how his day went, even if he never responded. He was used to Raditz goofing around with Kakarot, trying to teach the kid all sorts of dumb things that would surely get on Bardock's nerves. Today, there was none of that. Rather than question it, Bardock decided it would be best to let this slide.

You wanted to ask Bardock what happened to Raditz and Kakarot's mother, but it wasnt your place to ask such questions. You doubted he would answer anyway. You decided to try and ask Bardock about it in a roundabout way after Raditz and Kakarot were asleep. You had been curious about their origins anyway.

A few hours after dinner and Raditz and Kakarot were asleep, you sat yourself down on the couch next to Bardock, where he was watching whatever was on the TV.

"What do you want?" He almost sneered.

"I've been curious. Where exactly are you from? You're clearly not from Earth so.."

"Planet Vegeta." He said simply. You had hoped you wouldn't have to ask every little question, but you also didnt really expect him to tell you more than what was asked.

"What was it like there?" You looked over at him. Maybe now wasnt an opportune time to take in his features, but you couldn't help but glance over him. It wasnt often you met someone as good looking as him.

"Why the hell do you want to know?" He finally turned to face you, his lips curling up slightly in a snarl.

"I already said! I'm just curious. You've been staying here for a while and I barely know anything about you three." You yelped and put your hands up in surrender. It was technically the truth. You didnt know much about them at all. You only really knew their names and little things you'd picked up on from the conversations they would have at dinner.

He glared at you for a few moments before huffing and turning back to the TV.

"How do I watch something different on this damn thing?" He gestured to the TV, completely ignoring your previous question.

You glanced at the TV and back at him. Maybe it was better to wait until another day to ask more. This was a good opportunity to try to make nice with Bardock. He had never outright asked you something like this before.

"You've.. never used a TV before?" It was a bit odd to think about. From how their little space pods looked, they were light years ahead of you.

"Low class warriors like me didnt have much use for this shit." He almost sounded like he wanted to complain more, but stuck with grumbling and thumping his tail against the couch.

You just gave him a odd look before reaching over him to grab the remote. You expected him to growl at you for leaning over him, but he was strangely docile right now.

"You change the channels with this button. If you wanna turn it off, then you press the red button up here." You explained the more important features before handing the remote to him.

His tail flicked curiously as he pressed down on the channel button. It was kind of amusing to see him try and effectively figure out how to work the TV. He sat there flipping through channels for a good few minutes before setting down the remote and turning to you.

"While you're.. here." He hesitated for a moment before getting up and walking to the kitchen. "How does this thing work?"

You couldnt help but let out a little laugh when he pointed to the toaster. You had a feeling you would be up all night explaining how things worked to him, but this was much better than having him glare at you. Maybe he actually was starting to warm up to you a bit.

[tylerwritez]

Hey guys its uhhh Saturday July 3rd 2021 9:53 a.m.

I literally got 1-2 hours of sleep •_• because I was up into the earliest hours of the morning talking to Jay and Ariel.

... Its homophobic that Jay was away /j :P and not in my room that night because... how do I say this without saying too much... he turns me on, simple. He's in LEDUC. DUDE. COME BACK I WANT TO FUCK YOU /HJ

I told him this before you guys, but my brain does this thing where it randomly sends me back to some memory and I have to live through the feelings yknow? And I twitch a bit. Well my brain has been sending me back to almost entirely memories of him now. And it's. Not even funny. My crush on him grows...

Oh well, I'm patient.

The forums last night were as usual, unhelpful. My dad looks at me as if I'm a tragedy, as if my skin is a crime scene, and we have a total of *drumroll* TWO COMMENTS! One of them was okay in helpfulness. They mostly just wanted to write about their tattoo cover up of their scars but. They were right about how you are the only person who gets to decide what you think about your scars.

If he thinks of me like that... doesnt mean I HAVE to think of my own self that same way.

So true.

Next person said maybe he doesnt think I'm damaged, maybe hes just gawking at the damage done to me?? And how he couldnt stop it?

And like isnt that the same thing honestly.

Oh hey, yeah I gotta tell you about TODAY. not yesterday or last night.

Well uhm I just woke up on my BEDFRAMELESS BED Cos they packed it and left me with the MATRESS xD (I wonder if this is their way of cockblocking me /j)

I got ready and uh I was told like, GET THE FUCK UP DUDE WE R GOING TO THE LAKE RIGHT FUCKING NOWWW

So I'm rushing 2 get ready... well not really rushing. I don't rush. I was getting ready. I go to brush my hair and theres NO BRUSH. ITS BEEN PACKED???? WHAT???

I did my best with what I had on hand and then we left

I'm in the car with my friend and annoying ass sister right now and I got music on

We got Tim Hortons (muffin + ice capp) for breakfast (already over my cal limit... •_• as if that's getting followed nowadays)

lol I dont usually eat breakfast tho so I'll try to skip lunch or have a light lunch, so it doesn't mess me up.

Right now as we are driving to the lake... it's mostly canola fields. Theres lots of canola grown where I'm from lol, just drive a little bit out and you'll see the fields and fields of bright yellow like millions of little highlighters sticking up from the grass. I cant make them out individually though... still waiting on those contact lenses.

Again, I'm patient.

I don't think we're super far out... I mean theres still lots of cars, signs, farms, roadside ads, trees, uh, shrubs, and if we WERE further out the land would be more bare... #grassland #praries #Alberta

Also the sun just makes everyhting look more alive.

Oh NOO IM DESCRIBING THE SCENERY... boring!

Idk. There isn't much to discuss, I'm just listening to music because I'm content with just that. If I come up with anything funny/Insightful(?) I'm gonna make a twitter draft.

10:17 a.m, signing off temporarily,

Judas/Jude Shepard.

4:25 p.m.

We got to the lake, talked, got ice cream, talked, went in the #water... lake stuff.

My friend was gushing over this guy and like...  DILF. IF YOU SAW HIM... xD of course I'm just looking though. He just had big pecs which is attractive to me, and the overall build with these broad shoulders XD.

Tbh? I know me and Jay are TECHNICALLY not dating, but I feel like I'm dedicated to him. That's probably because of my crush on him but oh well.

I just keep thinking horny thoughts it's a plague within my brainnnnn and I know its his fault

I did end up asking him but by then he had already logged off so.... he'll respond soon and I gotta be ready. It appears that my mom is signing up for a Christian dating app... we'll see how that goes.

As for Jay's responding, I'll just tell him nevermind.

Anwyays we are headed back, possibly to the bookstore, possibly home.

I KNOW I talk a lot about the same things but that's because I'm infatuated with them.

I'm infatuated with... him.

I think of him in my mind and bam instant horny

I'll try to think of soemthing else,,, this is. Uh. Inconvenient right now.

I'll keep updating you though lol.

Hope I'm not annoying talking about Jay all the time.

I AM doing other stuff, I have a life. I just... I guess I unintentionally highlight certain parts a lot.

11:55 p.m.

IM EXHAUSTED GODDAMNIT MY DAD WAS MAD AT me...

... I wanted to ask to go to my friends house tommorowbut my dad is pissed at me for... closing my door??? dude omg hes like “what were you doing for two hours with the door closed” uhm reading? on my phone? jacking off? im a normal person lol. i said reading and on my phone which IS true and he said”sure...” all  sarcastic WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY?? YEAH I JACKED OFF???? stfu

hes not even mad at me hes mad cos my mom is goign on a date lolDONT TAKE IT OUT ON ME STFU

I'm dead.

So I didnt ask cos I was scared shitless lmaooo but I have an appointment anwyays so it works out.

I just read a bunch of this comic called outcast. That's it really. Now I'm gonna sleep after I post to twitter a bit...

ALSO I asked Jay finally about uh. Yeah. Scarring. and he said beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He said I was hot but then he said that on the other hand it feels weird when he runs his hands over them, but in general, he loves me.

So he said "I don't care if you have scars or not, you're still you"

I love him honestly hes so supportive.

I admit I'm a bit sad thinking they feel weird but honestly? Yeah. They do. I felt up my leg where the scars are to check and it feels like hard ribs/ridges to the touch of a hand but he still thinks I'm pretty so I'm not gonna let the scars get me down. Cos I'm still me. It's just scars. Doesn't affect anything.

:,)

Also erin found a hagstone!!!

Gn,

Jude Shepard

[gvf-imagine]

JOSH X READER

Part One 

warnings: none! 

word count: 2255

summary: reader goes to the water park with their roomate\best friend, while there they meet Greta Van Fleet who are playing a small live show in the beer tent. The reader sees Josh and is instantly attracted to him on many levels but what happens when Josh reveals something to her about his personal life. will they become friends or perhaps more than that?

A\N: Hi everybody! this is a brand new fic I wrote, its based on a dream I had a while ago I couldnt get it out of my head so I just had to write it! there will be a part two and possibly even more than that depending on what you all think of it. if you like it and want to be on the tag list just message me or comment ☺️ also like always all critisism is welcome and appreciated, let me know what you think in the comments! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writting it. 

thanks to @callmekane​ for beta reading! ❣️

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“Are you ready to go?” your roommate questioned excitedly, a bright smile beaming on her round face. You looked at yourself in the mirror that hung perfectly on your pastel pink bedroom wall. You wore an egg shell white one piece bathing suit that hugged your body nicely and paired well with your smooth skin tone. You wore your hair down, it hung like a veil over your shoulders, framing your face and making your eyes stand out marvelously. You were very attractive although you often felt the opposite. 

“I suppose this is as good as it's going to get” you say, slipping on a pair of jean shorts and black sandals, smiling at your friend.

 “You look great!” she chimes, always your hype man.

 “Better than me,” she added.You nudge her lightly with your elbow “you look beautiful….you'll definitely get a cute guy's attention” you reply with a coy smile and a wink. Your friend breaks up with laughter , it filled the air, shattering into little twinkling shards, it reminded you of the color orange. Abrasive. Noticeable. Pretty. 

“Guys don't notice me” she said softly as if feathers fell from her mouth. The twinkling shards of her laughter faded from the air and from your mind. Ready for a fun day, the two of you got in her car and made your way to Mount Olympus, the water park. You loved water parks, they were always so fun, weather permitting. Today called for sunshine, perfect.

 “I heard there’s going to be a live band playing at the beer tent” your friend says bringing a smile to your face.“We should check them out” you say with a nod , of course your friend agrees with you. The two of you loved live music and were always open to new bands and new sounds.“Some band called Greta Van Fleet” she adds, you think for a moment.

“Never heard of em” you respond watching other cars pass out your window, you couldn't help but wonder where everyone was in such a hurry to be. A few minutes later your friend pulls into the parking lot of Mount Olympus. She smiles excitedly before opening her door and stepping out, you followed suit. The sun blanketed your skin making you take a deep breath, you suddenly felt tired but that feeling was quickly lost as your friend sprayed you with cold sunscreen.

“Don't wanna get all burnt up!” She speaks happily. You never understood how she could always be so warm and upbeat. You hardly needed the sun in the sky, having her around gave you the same warm feeling. When she was done rubbing in the sunscreen she handed you the bottle before holding her arms out. You sprayed her arms, legs, and torso then sprayed some in her hands so she could put it on her face and neck. “Alright let's go” you said, stuffing the sunscreen into your bag. The two of you made your way to the park entrance. Dozens of other people clad in bathing suits and towels made their way through the park gates. Endless, untraceable conversations filled your ears as everyone chattered happily, it was very busy and looked to you like colorful static. You smile as you watch the vibrant hectic specs leave the mouths of strangers and float in the ears of others. Your imagination has always been a huge part of your life, you could hear everything you see and see everything you hear. Every sound has a color and physical property in your mind, your best friends laugh for example, the orange twinkling shards of glass.

“The beer tent is this way” she says, ripping you back to reality. Once the two of you reached the tent, there was a small crowd of people gathering as the band was about to start. You and your friend wound up in front of everyone else somehow. You smiled up at the stage, patiently waiting for what was, unbeknownst to you, going to be the start of the rest of your life. A great, great adventure.Then, as if on cue, four men stepped on the stage, one settled behind the drum set and the others grabbed their guitar and bass. The last man to walk on headed for the microphone with an exuberant smile. The guys said nothing just looked at each other and a heavy groove started to play from the speakers as they handled their instruments. The drummer bobbing his head to his own beat, his dark hair blowing through the air. Just then the singer belted out the most perfect and exhilarating note possible, this stunned you and everyone else in the crowd. He sounded so classic. His words floated out of his mouth, a turquoise stream of spiraling liquid filled the air around him, his voice. Purple glitter blasted out of the speakers, their music. It was so surreal to hear and see their sound. The singer looked so focused and almost as if he wasn't here mentally, as if he was singing to himself in his head and he was just imagining everyone around him. Your best friend was completely focused on the guitarist, you could see the attraction in her eyes, you couldn't blame her, he was a beautiful man. You however, couldn't seem to take your eyes off of the singer. He had chromatic hazelnut hair, chocolate browneyes, olive skin and a voice that made clouds seem harsh. You felt your body swaying to the music.

“Oh mama what you gonna do with all that love in your heart?” he belted his body twisting and jolting with the music. You laughed at his charismatic presentation. He was having fun, they all were, and so were you. You let the music take control as you danced , letting your body flow with the beat of the drums. Just then you noticed the singer looking at you, he smiled. You smiled back as you jumped up and down to the music. Your  eyes met and locked onto each other. things went silent and blurry but only for a short moment, he looked away hesitantly and continued to sing. “Oh my god he totally just checked you out!!” your friend yelled over the loud volume of the rock and roll music. It didn't feel like he was checking you out, it felt like he was checking your soul out. Any thoughts he was having about you at that moment had nothing to do with your physical appearance or his, not yet decided, physical attraction to you.  They finished the song and you noticed the small crowd had grown into a surprisingly large crowd. There were people all around you, jumping, shouting, throwing their arms in the air. 

“JOSH I LOVE YOU!!!” you heard one woman yell, her voice was red with passion and slammed into your ear drums like a train. Ouch. 

Josh.

 Nice name, you thought to yourself, strong and somehow soothing. They played a few more tunes , the one they were playing at the moment was a song , Josh announced, that was titled, flower power. It was a beautiful song and you couldn't help but wonder who he was thinking of when he wrote it. Maybe no one at all. The free spirit  of the song made you feel like you were flying with all the flowers in the world surrounding you, lifting you gracefully through the clouds and sky. You loved their music, and you were now decidedly a new fan of theirs, Greta Van Fleet. 

The singer , Josh, made eye contact with you once again as he sang “ As the days pass by my mind, are the wrong , the right, you are my sunshine. As the night begins to die, we are the morning birds that sing against the sky” and with that lovely little note , the song ended. You and your friend applauded loudly, as did everyone else. To Josh’s surprise the crowd reacted with loud continuous support. He looked to his band mates, his brothers, and smiled, he was proud of all of them. He looks back to the crowd, he had to find you.

 He looked, his eyes searched the crowd but there was no sign of you anywhere. All the clapping and cheering was muted as he focused on finding you, images of your face flashed across his eyes. ‘She was very pretty, uncommonly pretty, in more than one way’ he thought to himself then, there you were, walking away from the crowd with another girl, who was also pretty, but was eyeing Jake the whole show.“Go get her” Jake said as if he could hear josh’s thoughts, josh smiles and steps off the stage.

“They were great right?” your friend said beaming as the two of you sat down at a picnic table with some drinks. 

“Yeah they were amazing, I hope they find a way out of this town with all that talent” you respond taking a small sip of your lemonade. Your friend's eyes suddenly grew wide.

“Speaking of” she whispered, nudging you gently. You looked at her and she nodded her head in the other direction, you turned your gaze and saw Josh making his way over to you. You felt your face flush, you adjusted your posture and smiled.

“Uh hello” he said sweetly

“Hi!” you exclaimed, trying not to seem as nervous as you really were. 

“Did you enjoy the show?” he asks with a half smile, his hand reached behind him and he rubbed his neck. Perhaps he was nervous too. 

“Oh absolutely! You guys were really great, very beautiful sound, I felt like I was flying with flowers” you said. Your face burned red as you realized how stupid that last part must have sounded.

 He chuckled lightly 

“you looked like you were flying” he said softly, now his face was red.Your friends' eyes darted between you and Josh.

“I'm gonna go get us a locker!” she said standing up abruptly. She smiled at Josh and winked at you as she walked away.

You laugh “sorry about her… she thinks life is one big rom-com” you voice , playing with the straw that stuck out of your drink. Josh laughed and sat down.

 “She seems nice,” he replied. There was a moment of comfortable silence.

“Look I came over here because….I couldn't help but notice the chemistry we shared, I know you felt it too” he said. You could tell it took a lot of courage for him to say that, and that he wasn't usually a very forward person, not with women at least.

“Yeah” you smiled 

“I felt it” you added. Josh grinned with a sigh of relief. He glanced around and fidgeted with his fingers before speaking again.

“What's your name?” he asks looking into your eyes now.

“(y\n)” you answer sheepishly.

“That's a gorgeous name, im-” he began.

 “Youre Josh, I know” you interrupt with a small laugh.

 “I just heard about fifty different girls screaming it a second ago” you continue smiling, your eyes looking back over to the stage, which still had a pink aura pulsing around it.Josh smiled and looked down 

“yeah… I'm still not used to that” he admitted. Another moment of silence.

 “You know i'm not really sure why I came over here...I seen you and just had to meet you...but…” his voice trails 

“Let me guess...you have a girlfriend” you finish his sentence for him, praying you were wrong. He lets out a defeated sigh.

“Yeah….” he spoke, so quietly you almost couldn't hear him. You felt your heart sink.

“Of course you do” you speak, sadness lingers on your tongue. Josh picks up on your tone and feels as though he's done something wrong, but he didn't. He didn't like the solemn expression on your face. 

“well , are you hungry? Do you want to go get some food or something? As friends?” he asks as if he already knew what your response was going to be.

 “I don't know if that's such a good idea….is your girlfriend here?” you ask, eyes looking around the park again.

 “No” he answers quickly, maybe a little too quickly. You think for a second but don't let temptation over take your better judgement.

 “I don't know josh…” you chime.

“Well here at least give me your number” he says pulling his phone from his pocket. You think again, you knew you felt something with him and that usually didn't happen with people. You grabbed his phone and entered your number, he smiles as you type it in.

“There” you remark with a smirk as you hand it back to him.

“Great… I should go but I'll definitely text you” he assures as he rises from the table.

“Actually, the guys and I are playing at a college party next weekend if you want to come, bring your friend too. I saw Jake looking at her” he says. You laugh excited for her, she'll be all too happy to hear that.

 “Count us in” you answer.

“I'll text you the time and address tonight” he adds before smiling at you again.

 “It was really nice to meet you (y\n)” he grins. 

“You too Josh, thanks for the music” you reply. 

He smiles at you slipping his phone back in his pocket before making his way back over to the band, you watched him until he disappeared in the crowd of people.

(to be continued...)

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 23.5

Chapter title: Anybody Happen to know how the Hell To Do This?

A/n:  Eyyy! After two weeks Im back!! Just finished finals and decided hey finish your filler chapter! SO :D ANyway YES THIS IS A FILLER CHAPTER!! Because I couldnt write an actual one and ALSO NEEDED SOME LOGICALITY DEVELOPMENT ANYWAY IM SORRY IT SUCKS AND ENJOY

hi my names maria and i make everything bAD AND DRAMATIC FOR NO REASON :(

First | Previous | Next

words: 3476

summary: Patton and Logan work through some thing

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Law and Courtroom, past trauma, crying and yelling, cursing

Ao3 Link  

The first thought was panic, panic as Patton felt an even heartbeat behind him, an arm securing him. His mind runs to the previous night. A safety around him.

“Where should I put him?” Logan asks, cradling a snoring Remus, struggling to find a comfortable position. Patton looks at his reflection in the mirror of his bathroom, his tired eyes happier than usual.

“He likes the middle” Patton responds, he hears careful shuffling but not justification with an answer. He finishes preparing for his sleep, brushing any stressful knots out of his more than curled hair.  “Log-” He quiets himself, his eyes land on the bed where a confused Remus sits up as Logan mumbles in his dazed state. He stifles a flustered chuckles.

Yet he felt the furthest thing from safe, absolute fear as he stumbles out of bed. Clutching instantly to the plastered walls of his room, his safe haven.

“Come here” He whispers to Remus, he waddles towards him jumping into Pattons arms. He laughs sweetly, placing a gentle kiss on Remus’s head. “Bed?” He asks, Remus nods through a yawn. He glances back at Logan but moves to the twins room, tucking in his son, making sure he feels comfortable, and safe. A promise of protection before he returns to his own room.

“No” He cries in a panicked hush, his palms forced closed. Logan startles awake standing fast as he watches Patton's breathing become unstable. The lawyer moves carefully, keeping a safe distance.

“Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” He hears Logan mutter into the pillow, he covers a giggle before kneeling on the floor in front of the lawyer. He strokes his hair delicately, watching as Logans eyes flutter awake. “Mm?”

“Hi” He greets, the moon sneaking its way into the room. Logan smiles back through his state.

“I should head home” He decides, trying to get out of bed. Patton chuckles, shaking his head.

“Dont be ridiculous, its past midnight” Patton chides “You can stay here” He continues his gentle strokes. Logan musters up the laziest fight, feeling as though he’d only be intruding.

“Pat? Breathe for me?” He requests so gently. Patton nods, recognizing the voice, he watches as Logan approaches him. “You're okay” He assures, Patton loosens but keeps alert. He meets Patton face to face, taking his shaking hands in his own. “Come here” Once Patton eases into Logans hold,  his flinching gone, the lawyer leads him to the couch, wrapping a soft blanket around him.

“Ill go to the couch” Logan concludes, he sits up taking Pattons hands as they face each other.

“Adorable, come on lay back down, Ill get you some tea” Patton offers, Logan hums in satisfaction. He returns to find Logan struggling to keep his eyes open.

He feels safe once more, the familiar feeling returns. Patton remains, squeezing deep into his palms, feeling the pressure of his nails. Logan acts quickly, making a calming tea as he hands it to Patton, sitting in front of the man. Patton sighs, feeling his face heat up. Logan strokes away any loose hairs, covering Patton's shining eyes.

Once the tea is placed Patton situates himself on the other side of the bed, checking his phone before he shuts it off. He feels the bed move ever so slightly as Logan adjusts, his arm meeting Pattons in his deep slumber.  The lawyer waits for his typical reaction, for the deep panic to emerge, the whimpers of desperation, yet it never came. As Logan wrapped his arm around Patton, pulling him closer to his chest, nuzzling as he kissed Pattons neck. The lawyer felt nothing but safe.

“Goodnight love” Logan mumbles, a hot flutter as Patton instantly falls into the name.

“Im sorry” Patton bites his lower lip, Logan releases a sweet chuckle.

“You have nothing to apologize for, really” Logan promises, taking Pattons free hand in his own, the father bites his lip scared to object. Hoping to stop the lawyer from digging any further.  “Was that...something left over?” He hints, Patton averts his sullen gaze.

“I guess, Im sorry” He goes again, feeling stupid as Logan treads around him. Logan leans forward, kissing him softly on the forehead, keeping his protective hold on Patton. “You should go, I'm so sorry” He rambles.

“Patton enough apologizing” Logan begs, trying to keep his worrisome voice under control. Patton shakes his tired head, his eyes barely flinting.

“I'm a mess, you shouldn't have to deal with me” he pouts, rubbing away the gentle tears that begin flowing. Pathetic. You got emotional… “You should go, I am so sorry” He blubbers, every decent or controlling instinct floods away with exhaustion. “You'll get bored, and then you'll resent me and-” He chokes back a sob

“Patton what-”

“I'm afraid I'm not enough for you!” He blurts, his arms squeezing tightly to his chest as they fold over his heart. And there he was, a timid child, so desperate yet so undeserving of validation. Logan falls silent, not sure whether he holds a right to reach out.

“Not enough?” He barely breathes “You are more than enough, you are everything” He takes Patton's cheek. “I think you're just tired, maybe we need to talk about boundaries”

“Boundaries?” Patton tilts his head, Logan bites back a saddened expression, the concept so foreign to the father. He pushes through nodding.

“Yes, for example, when I get rather upset or frustrated I prefer to be left alone” He tells, Patton notes this keeping it locked in his mind. “Now you” Patton raise a brow, furled in confusion as he tries hard to think.

“I...I dont…” He fights to conjure something, to simply please Logan. He slumps his shoulders, resigning his efforts. An overwhelming pit of guilt forming in Pattons stomach but soon his mind clears. He’s not doing this to please Logan, this is for him “I want-” Logan raise his brow “I need you to be patient with me” He states, Logan bites back a proud smile

“Patience, I can do that” Logan agrees, he knows that it doesn't matter but a simple affirmation goes a long way. “What else?” Pattons never gotten this far

“I need you to tell me what you're doing.” Patton continues, though confused Logan nods. He notices the couch begin to shake, Pattons leg taps rhymically.

“Explain” Logan regains his attention

“I need- I just...I want to know what's going to happen.” He attempts to clarify his silly thoughts “If you're going to hug me, tell me. If you're going to hold my hand, let me know. If you're going-” He shakes his head “I just need to know whats going to happen” Patton pleads, not that his partner needs much convincing “It won't always be like that, just, for now...I need to know”

“And that makes perfect sense. You can tell me if you feel the need to but I dont require the same courtesy” Logan assures, Patton finds his honesty comforting “I need there to be space” He adds. Patton waits, playing with the loose strings from his blanket. “I don't want to be coddled or cared for every hour of every day” Somehow they both ease into the room, the warmth returning as it becomes their home, their place. “I need there to be communication, I'm going to take your hand now” He smiles, Patton allows him to do so, grateful for the genuine effort. “I need you to inform me as to what's going on in your head, how you are feeling” He rushes the next part “I know it may take time, but I hope you can try, slowly” A comfortable silence takes place, the pair listen to the morning world as each aspect awakes for the day. Playful fiddling takes place between them, a routine so easy, so familiar, they could perform it should they choose. A storm Logan think has passed, no forming a rainbow in its own time, finds one last raincloud.

“I need to be allowed to… be” Patton barely utters the last word. Logan jerks his head back towards him, watching as the light sparkle of blue averts its gaze. Fearing his own temperament, knowing where this stems, Logan maintains a calm demeanor. “I need to be allowed to be emotional, to feel, to be excited-” He stops his rants, catching a crisp breath. “I need to be me” He realizes, a discovery it seems more for himself, his eyes widening only slightly.

“Patton, I can promise you, under no circumstance will I ever stop or discourage you from being you” He squeezes the mans nervous hands. “You shall never feel that way again, If I can help it.” He takes a sharp but deepened breath. Patton leans forward, connecting their lips of promises and a new hope for them. “I need you to bring me coffee every morning” Logan jokes

“Nice try, love you though” Patton teases leaning forward, an excitement to say the phrase so true and so deep, taking his chin as he kisses him once more. It felt nice, to have it simply happen with no resistance, no feeling of obligation. “Breakfast time” He stands, taking their empty glasses to the kitchen. The even rush of water clearing his scrambled mind. Scrambled...scrambled eggs, he prepares the recipe in his mind.

“Mmm” He hums, pleasant as the calm morning happens. “Oh I hear children” He notes, sweet feet scatter towards him. “Good morning Remus” Logan greets, Valerie rushes by making her way to her father. Remus wastes no time securing himself in Logan's arms.

“Are you my dada now?” He exclaims through a yawn, Logan freezes as Patton drops a shattered glass. Logan jumps up instantly, tightening his hold on Remus.

“Angelface stay back!” Patton rushes, Valerie stops in her tracks, her wide eyes staring curiously. “Lo?” He asks, Logan nods taking Valerie away from the kitchen. Once the danger is cleared away, and a hushed conversation between the lawyers takes place, they sit the twins down on the couch. “Good morning my gems”

“Good morning papa!” They both greet with delighted smiles. Logan watches, trying hard not to let his smile grow. Patton laughs, stroking their messy hair.

“You had a question crabcake, care to explain?” Patton jumps right in, his son buzzing back. Logan fiddles with Valerie's excited feet, he's not sure why but neither seem bothered.

“Because he's my dada now!” Remus giggles “You love him, I love him and he loves me and you which means we’re family! Does that mean hes my dada now?” Remus decides, Patton looks up hoping a threatening flood will stop. Patton sighs, finding it much too early to watch Remus and Valeries hopes dim. ”You always say that love makes a family, no matter what” He grins, his toothy grin melting Patton.

But why should they?

Why should Patton say no?

Because of Logan, this isn't up to him, this is more than just about him

“Oh Remus, I-”

“You're absolutely correct Remus” Logan chimes in, Patton turns to him. “We are family now” He amuses the young boy. Patton takes his cheek kissing him, nodding through the most fragile of tears.

“Fam-ily!” Valerie cheers “I love you” She giggles, squeezing tightly to the two lawyers. Remus joins in soon after both run off to the backyard, to play in the remains of the dewey morning. The pair stand moving to the kitchen, facing each other once more.

“You didn't have to say all that Lo” Patton thanks, fiddling with Logans gentle fingers. “I know we haven't really had a moment to talk about...what all this means. I'm sorry if that put you in an uncomfortable position” Patton breathes

“Love, we can talk about this later, no reason to put them down on this fine morning” Neither phased by the adoring name, Patton finding it quite common really. “In addition, I am not uncomfortable” Logan assures, he kisses Patton's cheek, leaving a very flustered Patton to fall back into his blushed routine.

~~~

“My idea of a perfect family isn't marrying a woman!” Patton argues, Logan cocks his head as he closes the door into Patton's office. The lawyer waves to Logan, frustrated as he paces back and forth. “My children mom! My beautiful twins, the man I love and my friends! That's my family!” He shouts, Logan debates whether he should be upset or if his heart shall beat faster “Mother! Do not come down here!” He scoffs, angrily hanging up the phone, clutching the chair.

“How's your day going love?” Logan jokes, Patton rolls his eyes playfully.

“Haha very funny” Patton purses his lips, Logan smirks at him, flipping through some loose files upon the table. The door creaks open, a sweet assistant peeking her head through. “Whats up Willow?” Patton inquires

“Uhm, I-” She fidgets, her face heating up quickly. Logan adjusts to look at her. “Miss Bernard would like to speak to mister Tolentino” She swallows, Logan stands cautious but looks to Patton first. Both prepared to rejoin in the hallway but it seems the young lawyer has her own plans. She steps in, taking a grim look around.

“Thank you Willow” She looks to the assistant, was that a hint of mockery?

“Thank you Willow” Willow repeats clearly deriding her words, both sharing a solid glance before the assistant removes herself, bored of the high and mighty. An amused glance is shared between the men but Diana carries on.

“What can I do for you Diana?” Patton inquires with a smile, fully aware of her intent to question Logan. He upholds his kindness, knowing things don't have to be strictly business.

“Must you be so nice” She jokes, her relief setting in “Unfortunately Patton Im here to talk to mister Tolentino. Seeing as he was-”

“Your predecessor on the case?” Logan finishes, interjecting with his formulated words. Diana nods in agreement. “Makes sense to me, would you care to follow me to my office?” He stands, dusting off his prim outfit. She smiles uneasy, finding his presence less comforting then the shining one of Patton. Logan turns to Patton, leaning over the desk to kiss him sweetly on his soft cheek. “Dinner?”

“Dinner” Patton concludes, returning his focus to his work as the two lawyers leave him.

Diana walks silently alongside Logan, skipping through the marbled halls, playing her own game. The lawyers find no qualms but no connection, simply they are, as two isolating figures.

“Owo we have to set boundaries!! Oh Patttttooooonnnnn” Roman mocks in the utmost nasally voice he can conjure. Logan sighs as they continue walking. Roman joins their journey, skipping delighted.

“I'm going to slap you” He threatens, Roman laughs, shaking his head.

“Do it coward, I dare you” The judge challenges, Logan stops them in their path. Staring right into the previously fiery eyes, now filled with an amber fear. “You should know Patton tells me everything”

“Not to be made fun of I presume?” Logan contradicts, Roman rolls his eyes nudging the lawyer. “That's what I thought” He holds his head up high

“Dude, i'm just screwing with you, I think its good” Roman assures, Diana hums softly on her end. Finding no place in this conversation she skims her files. “Miss Bernard” Roman greets

“Your honor” She breathes, a hint of annoyance. The two actually present themselves quite similarly, Logan notices. “Mister Tolentino I hate to interrupt but I do have a lot of work to get to-”

“Yes, I understand, apologies” Logan laments, turning to a gazing Roman “Roman, I will talk to you later” He nods, the judge walks away seemingly joining an idle James by the fountain.  A sweet kiss shared between them, Logan raises an eyebrow but continues walking. Once they've reached his office, the shift in temperature hits the young lawyer quickly. A chill runs down her spine, tensing it as Logan barely glances her way. “Please, do sit” He offers, however his tone commands. But she does, and soon they face off yet seemingly on the same team.

~~~

“City councilman?” Patton breathes softly into the phone. He listens, though silent, his mind practically stretches with his thoughts. He walks through the crowded halls, frantic as he packs away his things. “No I mean..Im..I need to-” Cut off by more opportunities and new journeys, he smiles at a patient Logan who waits by reception. “yes , no Leo I understand-” He bites his lower lip, shaking his head “Got it, thanks”

“Everything alright?” Logan checks, taking his hand as he approaches. Feeling his anxieties wash away, dripping to the floor, feeling safe in Logan's touch. He leans in kissing his cheek, the softest of skin.

“Yeah, let's get to dinner” He pushes the other things out of his mind, watching his worries and questions seep away, himself leaning into the security of Logans gentle, curious smile. It doesn't take too long, besides the constant checking in with Virgil and the twins the ride itself is peaceful. The lawyers find themselves settled into the restaurant fast enough.

“I think it would be in our best interest to get right into business, as to enjoy the dinner once we have concluded our discussion” Logan advises, tapping the table. Patton sets down his water nodding.

“I couldn't agree more” Patton traces the brim, listening to the faintest hum from the glass. “So…” He drags it out, Logan smirks under the dimmest of lights.

“The kids” Patton states

“Yes you have them” Logan replies, knowing his words were silly. He was nervous, he wasn’t sure how to approach this, how to express a certain desire he assumed would go away but stuck through. “I would like, through the course of our relationship and however that might progress, to be apart of their lives” he explains, Patton keeps his face. He loved Logan, truly, but his kids would always come first. Every person who had even the tiniest place in their lives Patton made sure that for whatever he could do that they were safe and happy. Now he knew Logan and he knew he wanted him in their lives. But that was then, that was when he knew what he would be doing, now things change. To be blunt, now he isn’t just looking at a friend and caretaker, he’s looking at someone who’s going to be around for awhile, someone who will raise and discipline and love his kids.

“A father” he whispers, realizing to himself. Logan only hears the whistle of his soft words but not the substance. “Logan I don’t doubt that, but do you understand what you’re getting into?” He wasn’t just looking out for his kids, he wanted Logan to understand. He could be jeopardizing his relationship, his everything with Logan but he’s not going to allow the man to end up with something he doesn’t want, can’t handle or doesn’t make him happy.

“I don’t think I do either” Logan admits, he leans forward “But I don’t you did when you first had them. It’s a learning process, a place to grow.” Patton goes to rebut but Logan moves fast “And that is what you have to be understanding, that is what you have to be willing to do. Wanting to do” he breathes “and I want to. I want to learn, I want to be, in the most forward of terms, a parent” Patton inhales gently, soft breath not filling his mind quickly enough. “If you’ll let me and if you want me to” he adds, reaching out a hand, ready to receive. Biting his lower lip Patton takes the hand.

“Congratulations, you’ve got the job” He jokes, though forced his voice chuckles. Something sits uneasy with him, it’s not Logan it’s simply his uncertainty. He doesn’t know where to go from here, how does one go from being a friend to someone you love, who will be around, who your kids will see and soon enough see them as more than just ‘Dads friend’. Wide eyes as the reality set in, Patton didn’t know how to do this anymore. He had been on his own for so long, through every late night, every sickness, every fight, every tantrum and every tear. He didn’t know how to share that with someone, how to let them in.

He didn’t know how to let it be a good thing

How to let his previous fears wash away and embrace that maybe someone really wants to love him and care for him, and he can do the same without the fear of obligation. Someone who wants his kids as much as he does, to sit through those nights, to snuggle as they watch movies, to help when they get too much.

He didn’t know

And that frightened him

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Cori's Tale (Pt.2)

-------------------------

We sat there for a few minutes, I exchanged stories with Patton about the surface world. His expression of sadness and anger at the notion of the other children sending us down the mountain as sacrifices was one I wouldn't soon forget. I learned a lot about him, to, he had a cat allergy, he took care of six children before I got here. That last line stopped me in my tracks.

"What. . . Happened to the other kids?" I asked, Patton's face seemed to fall.

"They. . . Left. . . That's all you need to know for now, dont dwell on it ok kiddo?" Patton rested a hand on my shoulder for a few seconds before getting up.

"I think we should head off now, yeah?" He said, holding a hand out. I merely nodded and accepted it. I walked with Patton into a narrow hallway. On one end was a sign, on the other a lever and pressure plates. Patton stepped a pattern on them, his hooves clicking against the stone, before flipping the lever. A door opened and he walked through it. I chose to read the sign before following.

"Only the fearless may enter here, brave ones, foolish ones, both walk not the middle road," I read aloud before crossing. The words bounced in my head for a bit, fading to the background as my attention turned back to Patton.

"This next puzzle you can do on your own,  I've labelled all the levers for you," he said, I watched him cross a few bridges to the end of the room, the second doorway was blocked off by a set of spikes on the floor.

I walked over to the first lever, light blue words were scrawled on the walls next to it, telling me this was the right one. This repeated with about two more levers before I heard a clicking sound and noticed the spikes behind Patton retreating into the ground.

"This next puzzle is dangerous, take my hand," Patton said, holding it out. I took it, not paying attention to much until I realized what we were walking on. Rows, and rows, of sharp, silver, spikes. The spikes seemed to retreat under Patton's hooves, I found this matter interesting.

"Now, as you go through the ruins, you may encounter monsters, and they may try to attack you, I want you to know you should just talk to them and I will come to resolve the conflict," Patton smiled and gestured to a dummy at the center of the room. I walked up to it and noticed the heart that had been established as my SOUL appear in front of me again. I saw something behind the eyes of the dummy, something I couldnt quite place.

"Hi, I'm Cori, she/her and they/them pronouns, what's your name?" I said, not really expecting the dummy to respond. The mysterious aspect of its eyes seemed to evaporate, my SOUL retreated back into my chest, I looked to Patton for guidance, but he merely smiled and clapped in approval.

"Now, follow me kiddo," he said, walking to another room. We'd nearly gotten there when a small frog-like creature appeared in front of me. A barrage of flies aimed straight for my SOUL, I narrowly managed to avoid them by spinning out of the way.

My mind seemed insolent on two options, threaten, or compliment. I was never very accomplished at threats, so instead I decided to compliment the symbol scrawled on its chest. The frog began to blush, it was seconds away from preparing its next attack when Patton stepped out onto the scene. With a glare that could freeze even the toughest child in their tracks, he shooed away the frog creature.

"You did wonderful kiddo," he said, smiling as he lead me to a much longer corridor.

"This test is going to be very difficult, I am going to leave you alone, and you're going to have to walk to the end of the hall, do you think you can do it?" He said. I nodded, I'd been on my own plenty of times before this.

I watched him disappear down the hall and began walking myself, I'd almost reached the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder once again.

"Its alright kiddo, I didnt really leave, but this was a very important test of your independence, I need to make sure you can be alone, I have to handle something," he said. He dropped what looked like one of the old phones the guardians back at the community talked about used to have.

"I will call you periodically to make sure you're alright," Patton walked away from me and I stood there.

He did, in fact, call several times before his phone was stolen by a dog. After about twelve calls I decided it might be best to venture out on my own, after all, I already knew how to talk to and spare the monsters. I packed my art supplies and sketchbook back into my bag and set off.

The ruins were relatively calm, with only the occasional froggit or molsmal to interrupt my walking, though my complimenting and flirtation skills were advanced enough that I could pass them easily. The first real problem presented itself in the form of a ghost, laying on the floor and sulking. It was a sort of faded purple color, and it seemed to be pretending to sleep.

I elected to nudge it slightly with my foot, resulting in a retaliation from the ghost.

"Oh. . . Oh no. . . They noticed. . ." Lavender, as the words appearing above the ghost called it, seemed rather upset.

"I'm sorry- I just needed to get past, I've got somewhere to be," I said.

Tears rained down from the ghosts face, I held my hands up to block them, but they seemed to float back upwards, changing shape the closer they got to my outstretched palms.

"I really didnt mean to frighten you, you seem rather nice," the ghost seemed surprised by this statement.

"I want to show you something," she said. I merely nodded and watched as she cried, her tears floating up and beginning to form what looked like a flower-crown on her head.

"Woah- I wish I could do that," the ghost retreated out of battle.

"I met someone today. . . And they were actually really nice. . . Wow," the ghost disappeared without another word, needless to say it was a uh- different experience, but I didnt mind it. I kept walking on, solving puzzles as I passed them, fighting all manner of strange monsters. I left some money in a web of spiders, each seemed to be wearing their own small hoodie, I decided to write a note complimenting them on it, hoping they would find it sweet. I put the donut they gave me in a ziploc bag of other food items I'd collected, hoping that would keep it from messing up my backpack.

I finally managed to reach what looked like a small house, out of which Patton walked, phone in hand before he noticed me.

"Oh my goodness gracious how long was I gone! Come here kiddo- I'll heal you," he said, trapping me in one of the biggest bear hugs I'd ever experienced. I felt a calm wash over me. Patton let go and guided me into the house.

"The pie isnt cool just yet, but I'll let you know when it is, feel free to explore," said Patton. I, however, had had enough of exploring that day, and decided that I would rather draw at the table.

I began to get tired later in the day, and elected to go to bed. I woke up later in the night with the smell of pie filling my nostrils. I merely set it in another ziploc in my bag before going back to bed.

I wasnt sure how long I was in the ruins before I began to feel homesick, but soon enough I'd plucked up the courage to ask Patton about leaving.

"Stay here kiddo, I need to handle something," I watched as Patton disappeared around the corner before following him. We walked all the way down the stairs before he stopped at an archway, turning to me.

"This is the exit to the ruins. . . I am going to destroy it. . ." He said.

"I have seen five children pass through these doors, and never return, one who didnt even make it through the ruins themselves, I cannot let it happen again," I was frozen, processing the words to slowly to interrupt.

"If you cross, they, Logan, will kill you," Patton said, something about the way he said Logan's name resonated with me. He sounded distraught, as though he were talking about someone personal to him.

"But you cant keep me here forever, it's not right," I said. This seemed to breach the silence.

"You are right. . . You would just be unhappy here. . . Very well. . . Prove yourself to me, and I will let you go," this time, two hearts appeared. My own ever-changing one, and an upside-down white one on Patton's side.

I barely had time to comment before facing a barrage of fire and flames. I narrowly managed to dodge it, holding my hands out as a barrier.

I wanted to talk to him, but I couldnt seem to find the right words.

The fire kept coming, I held my hands out, envisioning it in my head as changing shapes, which it soon obeyed. I watched as the fire molded itself to the images in my head. Soon enough the spitting image of Patton was in front of me, made of fire, before it split off into separate whispers of smoke. I could see the surprised expression on Patton's face as he watched.

Soon enough his attacks became less calculated, almost as if he was actively avoiding hitting me.

Finally it was over, Patton sighed, defeated.

"I am so sorry kiddo. . . You're right. . . You would just be unhappy, my expectations, my loneliness, my fear, I will put them all aside, for you," he said. He opened his arms for a hug, which I embraced in full. As he let go I could see the tears making their way down his face. I watched him leave, turning his head slightly and giving me a small nod.

Then it was just me and the door. As I walked through, I was met with a long corridor. At the end if it, a familiar orange face.

"Well done! You spared the life if one innocent person!" Said the tree.

"What do you want with me." I growled under my breath.

"I am the prince of this worlds future, but do not worry, my plan isnt regicide, this is so much more interesting,"

I stomped my foot into the ground "What. Do you want. From me." I repeated.

"You interest me, human, sparing even those who would kill you without hesitation, but what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? Will you kill out of frustration? Or will you continue to die, because you would rather rely on magic than murder," the tree seemed to disappear abruptly, leaving me alone with the words echoing in my head.

I continued down the path, and was met with an overwhelming sense of cold at the end.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@nerosdayinhell

@that-artsy-gay

@official-lucifers-child

@spooky-scary-virgil

@misunderstoodshadowling

@youtuberswithalex

[sailorshadzter]

dog park date

a bonus chapter to this mini series 

i couldnt help but to write this out after mentioning their first date in the second chapter. i couldnt even find the motivation to write the third chapter until i finished this one. so here it is lol.

Sunday morning.

She's spent a ridiculous time in front of her bedroom mirror, frustrated by her lack of clothing and the anxiety she's begun to feel. It's true, she's not done this in a long time. Once, she had sworn off dating and men in general. After Joffrey, though, who could blame her? Joffrey had been of a caliber all his own- arrogance and violence all wrapped up in one single man. And yet... His smile was charming, his golden hair like that of a hero from a story book. Sansa had fallen hard for him and in the beginning, things had felt perfect, almost too perfect.

Looking back, there had been signs- of course there had, but she was blinded by the brightness of being in love for the first time. She recalled the first time they argued, about a night she spent with Margaery, far later than the time she had thought to be home. The fight ended when Joffrey smashed her phone in a fit of rage. Sansa had fled their shared flat that night, opting to spend a night at home instead, though she never told her parents the truth of her stay. She wishes she'd never gone back to that flat, back to him, but she had... And it was the worst mistake of her life.

Knock, knock.

Sansa turns towards the door, pulled from the past and the tangle of her thoughts to face her younger sister who stands there, dark hair pulled back in a tight top knot, Nymeria hovering in the doorway behind her. "You're gonna be late," she says as she steps further into the room, avoiding the discarded clothes that litter the floor. Clearly, her usually well dressed and fashionable sister was struggling. Sansa makes a face at her and turns back to the mirror, once again surveying the reflection it shows. "You look fine," Arya goes on as she sinks onto the bed, though she must shove over a few shirts to find a spot to sit. Nymeria lays down beneath her feet, though her eyes do not close as she too blinks up at Sansa. "It's just a walk in the park."

"I seem to remember someone who worried about what they wore on their first date with Gendry...." Sansa shoots her sister a smirk in the mirror, triumphant when the young girl blushes despite herself. Arya is not easy to poke fun at- except when it came to Gendry. "You really think this is alright?" She turns back to face her little sister, arms outstretched to give her a better look. It takes a moment but then Arya nods, giving her a quick thumbs up. Sansa sighs but gives a single nod of her own, knowing at this point she didn't have time to change again anyways. This was it. "Don't forget, Jory will pick you up at noon to go see mum," Arya nods, following after Sansa as she heads out of her bedroom.

Arya had come to live with the month before. Her little sister had always been a bit on the wild side, like their aunt Lyanna, their father said, but ever since their mother's illness had resurfaced... Arya was having trouble dealing. And so Sansa had decided it was best for everyone if Arya came to stay with her awhile. It seemed to be helping... at least, Sansa hoped it was. "I'll see you tonight, alright?" Sansa smiles down at her little sister and raises her hand in a wave as she clips Lady's leash into place. "Later!"

Out into the sunshine of the late morning, Sansa allows Lady full control of her leash, keeping  surprisingly slack grasp for a dog like Lady. But her sweet Lady was gentle, soft, quite unlike the way she looked and quite like the name she's been given. The wolf dog was often assumed to be prone to violence- wild animals, people on the street would say, but Lady was far from it. Truthfully, all of the pack had turned out quite docile, though Grey Wind had always snapped his jaws when irritated, though fitting for Robb's companion. She could still remember how Robb would snap in an instant, laying to waste any bully, grown or child, with his sharp wit and intelligence.

Her thoughts turn from her brother instead to Jon, who has caught her gaze just up ahead of her. He's knelt down on the corner, just outside the gate that leads into the local dog park, grinning as he pats his great, white dog on his head. For a moment, all of the breath leaves her body; here in the sunshine, she catches a glimpse of him she's yet to have. Jon wears a white t-shirt, basic but it suits him, and it reveals to her what she's been wondering all this time- just how muscular was he? Turns out, its the perfect amount. His dark curls are tightly secured in a knot at the back of his head, something she's very attracted to, and his dark jeans look well worn, as if they're his favorite pair. "Sansa, hey." He notices her almost too quickly, rising up from where he knelt as she approaches. Before she can respond, Ghost is surging forward and Lady is greeting him just as excitedly, as if they were long lost friends. "Well, they like each other, huh?" Jon jokes and Sansa laughs, the sound sending waves of pleasure down his spine.

In truth, he's not sure how he managed to stand up and speak to her. She's a stunning vision in her light colored denim, skin tight down to the ankle, her top a slightly oversized graphic tee that's been ripped down into a sharp, deep neckline, tantalizing him in the worst (and best) of ways. Her red hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail on top of her head and the length of it still amazes him. "No gun today, huh?" She asks, her voice bringing him out of his stupor.

"No," he laughs, shaking his head as they fall into step along the pathway. It's prime time for the dog park and so there comes laughter and voices from all around them, the barking of different dogs floating along the breeze. "Even I get a day or two off a week." In truth, he gets three, but that's because of the long hours. "How about you? What kind of work do you do to score weekends off?"

She blushes, surprising him, and she licks her rosy lips as if she's thinking about what to say. "Well, I'm a student, mostly," she admits with a quick smile, loosening her grip on Lady's leash so the dog can catch up with Ghost, who runs ahead. "I had a job but..." She can't admit that she had to quit her job because of Joffrey so she says the first thing that comes to her mind. "It was interfering with my studies, so I'm just taking a break until the end of the semester." Now, that wasn't entirely a lie, anyways.

"You must go to U of W, huh?" He asks to which she nods. "What are you studying?"

"I want to be a music teacher," she grins, thinking already of the small children she's guided through a spring concert during her time as a student teacher this last semester. "For little kids." She thinks a lot about taking an extra course or two, to add music therapy to her degree, but with her mother being ill, she's barely had the time for her regular classes, let alone a few additional ones.

Jon thinks back to those two nights at the bar, the sound of her voice always an echo in his mind... "Any kid that has you for a teacher would be pretty lucky," he admits without hesitation, bringing another rush of color to her cheeks. They turn onto another path, this one leading to a fenced off chunk of land that the dogs can run leash free. When Lady and Ghost are rushing excitedly out into the open, the other dogs in the distance barking as they approach, the two of them find a seat on one of the benches that sit against the fence. "I meant to ask... Your mom, how is she?"

Sansa blinks, genuinely surprised by the question he's just asked. She sits up a little straighter, their shoulder brushing as she shifts. "She's doing great, actually, I think hopefully she'll get to go home in a few weeks." The most recent prognosis had been a good one and Sansa can only hope that it's a matter of time before she's considered "well" again. "My father will be glad to have her home and my brothers, too." She smiles, thinking of the little boys she's left behind in the North, at home.

"That's great!" Jon says, truly meaning it, recalling the heartfelt wish of her last song. "Where does your family live? You're not from down here," like him, her voice carries the distinct Northern accent, though from differing areas. "Northern, am I right?" He thinks she must be from the Vale, that red hair of hers certainly reminded him of the Tully's in Riverrun. "Where are you from?"

She blushes again and looks away, momentarily distracted by the sound of Lady's bark. "Well, I told you my name was Sansa Stark, didn't I?" She shoots him a somewhat sheepish glance, blue eyes shining in the morning sunlight. That's right... Jon realizes, recalling that night when she had told him her name, though it hadn't registered with him what that might have meant.  "My father is Eddard Stark."

"You're the daughter of the Warden of the North?" Jon exclaims, unable to contain his shock at what she's just told him. So he was right about that Tully red hair, considering who her mother was. Though united under a single king, the kingdom of Westeros was divided into nations, governed by someone chose by the king himself, to rule in his name, as of course he could not be in every nation at once. The governor of each kingdom was like a king all his own.

She cringes, unable to help it, though she smiles all the same. "Yeah, he is," she confirms with a quick nod. It's not that she's ashamed of who she is or who her family is, but being attached to the Stark name, to the name of a family who's head runs an entire kingdom... It can be daunting. The expectations were higher, she was raised differently than the other young women she attends University with. With that comes privilege and coming to school here has opened her eyes to the many blessings she's been given in life. But.. Even so... She had always wanted more than what her parents had wanted for her. Coming to university had been her only way of rebelling against them, choosing to study music and pursue a career of her own outside of running the North.

"That's incredible," Jon kicks himself mentally for not realizing this sooner.  "So your family lives up North still?" He's somewhat surprised that Eddard Stark had allowed his daughter to stray so far from home. It was rumored that the Stark's were untrusting of those outside their bubble of the North, of Winterfell. Though, Eddard Stark's oldest friend was their King, Robert Baratheon, so Jon supposes he felt he could trust his daughter would be safe in the South.

"My father lives North still, with my brothers, and my mother.. Well the best hospitals are here in the South, so..." She trails off, raising her shoulders in a shrug. "I moved here for school because I wanted something of my own. Being part of my family..." Another pause, a strained sort of smile toying with her rosy lips. "I've been what they wanted my entire life. I wanted something that was only mine, not something they gave me or something that they wanted me to want. But... When I left, that's when Robb... That's when Robb was killed. And not long after that was my mother's first diagnosis." It was also when she had first met Joffrey. Sometimes, irrational as it is, she can't help but to wonder if she was the cause of her family's pain and Joffrey had been her punishment. She had moved to King's Landing despite her parents wishes and Robb had come along to "protect her" as he'd put it, deciding to enroll in the University alongside her. Before anyone knew it, he was dead and their mother was ill. "I'm sorry," she's blushing again, "that was a lot to dump on you." Again, she's struck by how easy it is to talk to him.

For a moment, Jon is silent. "I kind of understand what you mean," he admits after a moment more. "I grew up mostly on my own," he shakes his head when she looks up surprised, mouth opening to apologize. "But I never felt like I had something of my own. I didn't have a family, so I didn't have much. I guess that's why I joined the Special Forces." Back then, he had hoped to find family among comrades, to find something worth fighting for. Worth living for. "I came South to find what I've always felt like I was missing." He's never told anyone these things,  but looking into her clear blue eyes, Jon knows he could probably tell her anything.

Sitting there in the sunshine, staring into his eyes, Sansa knows something is about to change. She can feel it in the air, hear it in the whisper of the wind. She opens her mouth to speak,  but she can't find the words to say. In truth, it almost feels better without words. It's as if they understand each other, despite the silence of the moment. No moment has ever felt like this before, super charged with electricity that flows through her veins. She wonders if he can feel it too.

He can.

It takes everything in him not to reach for her, to touch her hand, to feel what her skin feels like against his own. They fall back into easy conversation after a few more moments of static silence and Jon finds he quite enjoys the easy going sound of her laughter. He wills himself to be wittier, if only to bring another smile to her face.

Later, when the morning has faded into early afternoon, they stand at the bottom of the stone steps that lead up to her home. "I had a lot of fun," she says, bobbing on her feet, ponytail swinging with her every movement. "And it looks like they had too much fun," she giggles, gesturing down at the dogs that have laid themselves down on the sidewalk at their owners feet, tired out from a long morning of running and playing.  

Jon chuckles as he tugs on Ghost's leash, urging the dog back up onto his paws. "Maybe next time we'll have to leave the slowpokes behind, I guess they can't keep up." Sansa feels her heart skip a beat. Next time? He wants there to be a next time?  "I'll call you, okay?" He goes on and she pulls herself from her mind, nodding quick. "See you, Sansa."

"Bye, Jon." She feels almost... Empty... Yes, that's it, empty, when he walks away from her. Perhaps he feels it too, for on the corner he pauses, turning back around to look for her. She still yet stands there on the sidewalk and so she raises her hand in a silent gesture of goodbye. Jon returns her wave and then disappears around the corner, leaving her with no other choice but to head inside.

When she steps inside, she finds Arya laying on the floor in the den,  Nymeria beside her. "Hey." Her younger sister calls out, raising herself up onto an elbow so she can turn to face Sansa as she sinks down onto the couch. "Mum says hi," she rolls over and sits up to pat Lady who has dropped down onto the floor beside Nymeria. "So..?"

"So what?"

Arya rolls her eyes, leaning in to give Sansa's calf a gentle punch. "Sooo, is there going to be another date?"

A smile toys with Sansa's lips before she gives a single nod. "I think so. I hope so."

[ x x x ]

It's as she's dumping the dishes from dinner into the sink that Sansa hears her phone beeping with an oncoming call.  

Wiping her hands off on a dish towel, she waves a smirking Arya away and can't stop her heart from skipping a beat at the sight of the name on the screen. "Hey," she says when she answers, sounding way more easy going than she feels. In truth, she's fearful that her heart might beat right out of her chest there in the kitchen.

"Hi," Jon's tenor vocals are smooth through the phone. She can almost imagine him on the other end, leaning against his kitchen counter, Ghost at his feet. "I know there's some rule about waiting to call, but I..." He trails off and surely he must be shaking his head to clear his mind. "I couldn't wait."

"I'm glad you didn't," she's barely breathing as she sinks into her usual chair at the table.

On his end, Jon is smiling, her admission giving him the confidence to continue on. "I want to see you again. Soon." He can't keep her out of his mind, out of his heart. Somehow, already, she's found a place within him. "Tell me when."

A beat of silence and then comes a response.

"Tomorrow... Tomorrow evening."

Jon inwardly rejoices and he nods, though she cannot see him. "Tomorrow. Seven thirty? I'll pick you up." When she says yes, Jon feels true joy rush through him. They talk for a few moments longer before hanging up, though almost at once Jon feels that almost familiar feeling of longing. How can someone he knows so little have such a magnetic pull upon him?

That night as he crawls into bed, Jon hears his phone buzz on the side table.

Reaching for it, he smiles when he opens the message, pleasantly surprised to see a photo before any words. She must be laying in her bed, the only source of light from that of her phone as she snaps the photo; Lady is laying across her chest, clearly passed out after her long day. He glances down at Ghost asleep on the floor beside his bed and smiles. Good night, is all it says, but it's enough... It's more than enough.

Just before she dozes off, Sansa hears her phone beep. Good night, sleep well, I'll see you tomorrow, is all he's written, but it moves her unlike anything else ever could. Such a simple message, but somehow, coming from him, it means something new. Something wonderful. It is the start of something new and exciting.

The start of something special.

[wintersxsoul]

The Night We Danced

Summary: Two dorks in love that have to wait to get drunk to confess their feelings.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Maybe some language, drunk people and I think mentions of sex?? 

A/N: This is my entry for my dearest @writingsoftheloser 1k historical writing challenge! I got the Victorian Era, so I came up with this longass nonsense. I hope you enjoy and as always, feedback and reblogs are free and make me really happy and motivated <3

  Bucky Barnes was a dancer.

He sometimes had flashes of his old life in the late 30’s and 40’s, long summer nights dancing with beautiful dames, little Stevie by his side laughing and stepping in the ladies’ shoes. Everything was much more simpler, happier, but war happened and the dances turned into battles, the warm hands that he was used to hold became rifles and glocks. The jazzy tunes turned into gunfire, dates turned into risky missions and the thought of a long happy life turned into dust when he fell off that train.

Bucky Barnes stopped being a dancer to be a soldier, a spy, a deadly assassin.

They had taken all he was away, all his memories, his hopes and dreams. Everything was wiped but not his motor skills or knowledge. They turned him into the most efficient soldier, cold and calculating, his only motive in life was completing his missions. He had killed mercilessly, not questioning even once who was in front of the gun, he just knew he had to pull the trigger.

Everything changed the moment Steve Rogers, his best friend since childhood, found him 70 years after being used and tortured. Steve saved him from the claws of Hydra and gave him the opportunity to gain back his own self, to finally give his life meaning again.

His life changed drastically when he joined the Avengers, he could use his unrequired skills to help people, to save lives. He had his closest friends, Steve of course, Sam, Nat and then he met you. Once he was able to recover almost all his memories, he had a long heartfelt conversation with Natasha since she had suffered in similar ways. The brainwashing, the body killing training, the horrors of the Cold War and the cruelty of the Red Room.

You and Nat were inseparable, both becoming SHIELD agents the same year. You were a freelance hitwoman, both of your missions were to kill the same target. But before you could kill each other, SHIELD stepped in and rescued both of you, seeing your potential and the ability to do the missions other agents weren’t able to. When Bucky first came to the compound, you were away because your last mission went badly and it almost killed you, so Fury and Steve decided it was better for you to lay low for a while. Months went by and Bucky’s curiosity only grew, he really wanted to meet you, since everyone talked about you like you were an angel. When the time came to finally meet you, everything he ever heard about you was not nearly accurate to him. You were as much of a mystery as Nat, but unlike her, you opened up to him fastly, trusting him blindly. You both held each other on your worst nights and were also there for the other when you needed a good laugh.

You could have never imagined that the infamous Winter Soldier could be such an absolute dork with such a pure heart and soul. At first he was a bit sulky and moody, he was like a ghost around the compound, but months of therapy and help from his friends turned him into the man he was today, the man you loved deeply, even though you lied to yourself trying to make it seem like a platonic feeling. For years you remained as best friends, until the masquerade ball Tony organized for Natasha’s birthday.

“So, what are your plans for the party?” You asked Bucky nonchalantly while you looked for costume designers online. He looked up from his book and shrugged, he really didn’t know what you meant but he knew you would elaborate. You closed your laptop and placed it on your nightstand, all your attention on your friend now. You laid across the bed, resting your head on his lap. You were staring at the ceiling so you totally missed Bucky’s adoring gaze.

“Well, apart from getting hammered with Thor’s Asgardian alcohol, I don’t really know.” You rolled your eyes internally at his comment. You laid on your stomach so you could face him, your chin resting on your hands on top of his chest.

“Obviously you are doing that, but it’s not what I meant.” Bucky chuckled and you rolled your eyes. You weren’t sure about asking him to be your partner, maybe he was planning on going with someone else, maybe he wanted to go on his own. You cleared your throat while reaching out to fiddle with the laces of his hoodie nervously.

“Are you going with someone?” He frowned, realizing that you didn’t assume (like he did) that you were going together. Maybe you were planning to go with a date? He knew it had been more than a year since you had dated someone so maybe you wanted to use the party as an excuse to do so?

“What you mean with someone? I d-”

“You should ask Sarah from Forensics, I’ve heard she has a huge crush on you. She’s sooo soft and pretty. I have her number if you wa-”

“Okay, Y/n stop right there. I am not going with Sarah or with anyone else but you.” His eyes widened at his own boldness but he quickly found a logical explanation.

“I mean, we always go together to this kind of shitty parties we both dread. But if you are going with someone else is fine.”

“Yeah, yeah I just thought that maybe you wanted to go with an actual date and not your best friend.” He tousled your hair and you whined jokingly. He mumbled “dork” and you stuck your tongue out.

“My best friend is pretty cool and when she gets drunk the party starts, so I am not missing that for Sarah from Forensics.”

“Oh god James, and I am the dork? You absolute dumbass.” You shook your head in amusement and sat on the bed, putting your disheveled hair in a low ponytail. You slapped him lightly on the right shoulder and got down of the bed, gathering your stuff.

“I can’t stand to see that beautiful stupid face right now, I have to look for a fucking dress. You better wear something in dark red cause, you know it-”

“it’s my color” he mocked you using a high pitched tone of voice and laughed at the face of disgust you jokingly pulled off.

“Fuck you.”

“Why don’t you f-” His sentence was cut off by the bang of his door closing but you already knew what he said. You rolled your eyes and made your way to Nat’s room since you needed to organize shopping days and all that stuff.

-

Bucky Barnes was a dancer and fortunately he still had some moves, but waltzing was out of his league. He knew what a masquerade was of course, so the fact that he had to learn how to dance a completely different style was...frightening to say the least. He talked about it with Steve so they both were headed now to a masterclass while their dates were out shopping. Nat had asked Steve as her date because she wanted to go with his best friend. Their friendship was the most platonic you’ve ever seen and watching them flirt and banter was the highlight of your days. Nat was a fantastic dancer of course, she used to be a fucking ballerina, so she offered to teach you some moves. She was the only one who actually knew your feelings towards Bucky because you had confessed them one night you had drank your weight in vodka and when you saw Bucky’s text asking you to please be careful, you laughed and told her. You didn’t remember that conversation and when Natasha tried to ask you, she realized she shouldn’t bring up the topic until you were ready to believe it yourself.

“Ooof Nat, should I really buy this expensive dress?” You asked her while checking yourself out in the mirror. The dress was absolutely stunning, made of a dark red taffeta or a similar material, short sleeved and a beautiful v-neck, not very revealing but enough to make your babies pop. The bodice hugged your curves and the skirt was puffy.

“Listen, Stark is paying for everything, that includes our dresses. So yes, you are going to buy it.” She stood up and lead you back to the changing room so she could purchase both of your dresses.

Steve sighed heavily at Bucky’s complaints. They’d been dancing for four hours straight and they weren’t getting any better, or at least that’s what they thought. Bucky really couldn’t believe he had been dragged into this mess just because he loved getting drunk with you under any circumstances.

“Come on Buck, don’t worry. You two will probably be too drunk to even stand, why bother so much in learning this shit?” Bucky rolled his eyes and nudged his friend on the shoulder.

“Listen pal, I wanna do this right. You know how much I love dancing so this is just an excuse to learn something new.” He could almost believe his own lie, but Steve knew better. He knew Bucky better than himself, so he obviously knew the unspoken thing that was going on between two of his best friends.

“Okay buddy, whatever you say. I just hope Y/n appreciates all this instead of laughing at you like Sam and Nat are probably going to do.” He muttered something to himself and left the room without saying a word.

“Fucking idiots, I hope they fuck soon.” Steve said to himself before turning around and smiling at the dance teacher.

“Let’s do this Janet, I have a very dangerous woman to impress tonight.”

-

“I really, really, really, really regret the day I gave you access to come into my room whenever you want to.” You told Bucky, who was laying on your bed on his stomach, his face buried in the pillows. You slumped next to him and buried your face in the pillows as well. You really thought you looked like idiots but you couldn’t care less.

“Can we stay here? We can watch one of those victorian romantic movies you love and get wasted on our own.”

“You know I would love to, but Nat would kill us. Besides, you hate those movies.”

“I was just trying to persuade you Barnes, you don’t need to be so rude.” You stood up and opened your first drawer, pulling out the two masks you had bought throwing Bucky’s to his head and he responded with a fake “ouch”. He sat on the bed and looked at you amused, the small mask in his hands.

“And you have the nerve to call me rude. I already have my mask and I won’t show it to you until tonight.”

“Wow, sorry for thinking about you and your shitty memory, old man.”

“You know what Y/n? I’ll see you tonight before I throw myself out of that balcony.” You giggled at his fake tantrum. You really loved your friendship with Bucky, because even though you were always joking around each other, you had your backs. He was always there and so were you.

“You want me to walk you to your room?” He frowned at you but his eyes widened when he realized what you were about to say, but you said it before he could cut you off. “In case you don’t remember where your room is at.”

“That was one time Y/n, please let it go.”

“Never.” And with that said, he left. You giggled remembering the first night you two got drunk together. It was the first time Bucky had tried Thor’s alcohol so he was excited to finally get drunk after all those decades. He drank by himself almost three flasks and encouraged you to drink a bottle of vodka on your own, so at 6 am, you were stumbling through your room floor because Bucky had forgotten where his own room was, so he wanted to sleep at yours.

You took a last look at yourself in your mirror and placed the mask in its place. It was a shame that Bucky had decided not to wear the mask you’d bought for him, but his taste was pretty great so you knew it was going to be amazing.

When you reached the party the place was already full of people. Everyone was dancing to the slow melodies or drinking at the bar. You noticed that Tony had removed all the furniture from the room so it looked like a grand dance hall, the usual modern lamps he owned were replaced by huge golden crystal chandeliers, the windows were covered by thick curtains that looked like the ones European palaces had. The cream and golden tones of all the decoration gave a really regal look to the party, the soft glow of the candles in the bar and the sound of champagne glasses relaxed your senses.

You fixed your long silk gloves and sighed, moving through the crowd towards the bar, where Nat stood chatting with who you assumed it was Steve, Sam was behind the counter pouring alcohol to his half empty glass.

“You mind filling this lady’s glass?” Sam smirked and you winked at him. He raised his eyebrow under his cream and red mask and he took out a tall glass.

“What would the lady like to drink?” He rested both of his palms in the counter, looking at you with an amused look in his eyes.

“Vodka on the rocks, s'il vous plait.” You heard Nat choke on her drink and Steve turned to look at you while Sam just poured your drink, a smile playing on his lips.

“Aren’t we starting a bit early, Y/n? Your date is not even here.” You shrugged at Sam’s comment and took the glass when he handed it.

“Since you all seemed so surprised with my drinking choices, I’m going. I need an unjudging friend right now.” You waved your hand gracefully and moved towards the centre, trying to find Bucky. After five minutes and an empty glass, you saw his bulking figure talking to some woman. You needed a moment to gather your thoughts because he looked absolutely sinful with the outfit he was wearing. The black pants marked all his muscles, specially his thighs, those fucking thighs that drove you insane and his ass...you shook your head trying to stop your mind. You needed another drink.

“Wow look who’s back and empty handed!” Steve said to the small group. You nudged him in the ribs and asked Sam for another glass of alcohol.

“Why are you this flustered Y/n?” Nat asked you when she noticed your flushed cheeks. You fixed your mask trying to hide your nervousness and failing miserably.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” Your three friends shared a knowing look and you rolled your eyes, finishing your drink in two sips and encouraged by the burning liquid, you went to where Bucky was. You could now see his whole outfit perfectly and your heart swelled. He was wearing a black ruffled shirt with a black and dark red embroidered vest and a black tail coat. His face was covered by a simple half Venetian mask, decorated with the same colors as the outfit’s. He was chatting with some agent you couldn’t recognize and you felt a pang of jealousy at how he was looking at her, smiling and touching her. At that moment you realized the alcohol was kicking in and that’s why you were having those stupid thoughts. You approached your friend and placed your gloved hand to his shoulder, indicating him that you were besides him and waiting for him to pay attention to you. You catched a part of the conversation and they were talking about one of the last missions the undercover agents did, so after a court nod from Bucky and a brief goodbye from her, his eyes were on you.

“Well, look at you!” He smiled at you warmly and you felt something flip inside you. “How did you recognize me?”

“Oh boy, you can mask that face all you want but you can’t mask those thighs.” You smirked and he started laughing at your comment, making you feel proud of your wittiness.

“How drunk are you already?” You brought your hand up between your bodies and pressed your thumb and index together whispering “a little” so only he could hear it.

“Lucky for you, I drank almost a flask, so that makes us dangerous already. Wanna dance?” He extended his hand and you took it accepting his invitation. You suddenly felt really nervous since it was the first time you were going to slow dance with him but unbeknown to you, Bucky Barnes felt sick due to his nerves. He wanted this to work, he wanted to show you and the world that he was still capable of being a soft person, not this cold calculative soldier with a dark past.

The feeling of his hand on your waist and your other hands intertwined was intoxicating you, your bodies pressed together, the only thing between you two were your clothes. You spinned around the room for what felt like eternity, time for you had stopped and everyone had disappeared.

You burst the small bubble you were both in saying you needed a drink, Bucky stopped swaying you and with your hands still intertwined, went to the empty bar.

“I’ve always loved the Victorian Era, you know?” He said while giving you a glass full of vodka, and took a sip of his flask. “The clothes, the courting, the chivalry and all that fuss.” He smiled sadly at you thinking that you wouldn’t notice.

“If you could, would you go back in time and stay?”

He took another sip, now longer, and shook his head. “Of course not, you wouldn’t be there.” He blurted out without thinking and you just giggled at the comment.

“Oh Barnes, don’t be so dramatic. I’m sure you would make good friends there as well.” You gave him a sincere smile and he shook his head again, taking another sip of the flask, this time a long one. You looked down at your glass and twirled the straw, looking at how the ice cubes collided with each other.

“I love you.” You jerked your head up and maybe it was the alcohol clouding your mind or the denial of your own feelings, but you didn’t notice his intense gaze, filled with love and adoration.

“And I love you too, you idiot. As my best friend, you should know that already.” You placed your lips around the straw and finished the whole drink, Bucky still looking at you shocked that you rejected his feelings without you noticing.

“No, Y/n, what I mean is that I’m-”

“You are what, Barnes?” Nat cut Bucky off and you threw yourself into her arms, kissing her face and wishing her a happy birthday. “I missed you, Nat. Where were you?” You started talking to her totally ignoring your friend, who got that as his cue to leave the party. He would never blame you for not feeling the same or not even noticing his feelings, that was totally on him, but he didn’t feel well enough to stay in the party. He knew you wanted him there, to get drunk together and then both of you ending up throwing up in the sink and the toilet, but tonight he needed to breathe, he needed to get out of the crowd.

“Hey, where is going Bucky?” Asked Steve while he approached Nat and you. You frowned and looked at the entrance, catching a glimpse of Bucky’s broad shoulders and hair leaving the party. “I’ll be back in a sec.” You said and stumbled down the bar stool, heading towards the entrance half running.

“We both know they are not coming back, right?” Steve said to Nat, a strong nod and a sigh answered his comment.

You ran as fast as your drunken state let you but before you could notice you slipped with the dress and fell.

“FUCK” You screamed to the empty hall and took off your heels and gloves, standing up trying not to fall again on your ass. Bucky was nowhere to be seen so you headed to his room, your head spinning due to the alcohol.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky startled you, making you lose balance but he caught you before you could fall again.

“I was just checking that you got to your room safely, since you know, you get lost and all that.” You laughed at his fake hurt expression and straightened your clothes. You noticed that he had taken off his mask and that you were still wearing yours. “Why did you leave?”

“I’m feeling a bit sick, I think I drank too mu-”

“James, if you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong I’ll torture you until you do. The drinking excuse is the worst you could’ve used with me.”

Bucky sighed defeated, he knew he had to get it off his chest, after three years carrying this on his own, he needed to let the words out, he needed you to know. He reached for the laces of your mask and took it off, placing a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.

“I love you, Y/n.” You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance just to mess up with him.

“Baby, we already established that I lov-”

“Y/n, you are not listening. I am in love with you. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your partner in crime and your drunk buddy.”

You stared at him wide eyed, not knowing what to answer or to do. He caressed your cheek with his thumb and you gasped at the feeling, making Bucky think that you were rejecting the act. You stopped him from moving his hand and he leaned in, his lips brushing yours lightly.

“Either you kiss me or I faint, so make a m-” And just like that, his lips crashed against yours with a passion and hunger you’ve never felt in your entire life. He pressed you against the door, the stupid huge dress stopping you from feeling anything. Your brain finally woke up and you realized what was going on. Bucky Barnes loved you, he was in love with you. And you were in love with him. You pulled away and stopped him, making him step backwards scared that he did something you didn’t want to.

“You love me?” You really asked him, thinking that maybe your brain was betraying you. He nodded and looked away, not wanting to see the rejection in your eyes.

“Hey coward, look at me.” You held his chin and forced him to look at you. “I love you too, always have. I was just too damn scared to admit it to even myself.” He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower, pouring every ounce of love he had for you in the kiss.

“What now?” He asked you once he pulled away to breathe. He had his hand on the back of your neck, caressing your skin with his thumb.

“As much as I’d love you to fuck me against every surface on that room, I am drunk and tired and I need to process everything.” He nodded and waited for you to come up with what you wanted to do next. “So you are going to take this dress off me carefully cause I can’t do it on my own and it’s expensive as fuck, you are going to give me one for your shirts and we are sleeping, together.” He nodded again and smiled, leaning in again to give your lips a small peck.

“Consider it done, asshole.”

[multifandom-kpop-scenarios]

hello, hello! i absolutely love your scenarioes, rex! especially the werewolf mingyu one! i couldnt decide wether to send a request or not, but im a carat and monbebe, so could i reqeest a vampire kihyun one (hes a vamp)? if it could be sort of angsty? i really appreciate this! dont worry about how long it takes, im okay with waiting for your beautiful writing. ps could i be moncarat anon? i think ill request from you guys again. sending love ~ 💖💖💖

Hello, moncarat anon!!! I’m really glad that you enjoyed the werewolf Mingyu scenario! I know you said not to worry about it, but I am sorry for the wait. I know this one wasn’t requested for the Halloween special, but I figured that this would be a great way to start it! I used Monsta X’s ‘Someone’s Someone’ for inspiration in writing this!

Without further ado, our Halloween Special begins!!!

Admin Rex

(Word Count: 1260)

You met him in the late evening of a warm Fall day. He was holding a camera up, pointing it towards a mostly empty park. At that point in the day, the sun was almost fully set. You hadn’t really noticed him until you saw what was left of the sunlight reflecting off of his light purple hair. He didn’t seem to notice or mind your presence. You watched him for a bit as he wandered around the park, aiming his camera lense at things you wouldn’t really think to look twice at. He paused for a bit, looking through the photos he’d taken before looking around. His eyes met yours. You chose to smile and wave not waiting for a response before turning away. The sun was setting quite low, and you didn’t really want to stay out once the sun was fully down. 

The second time you meet him is in a convenience store near the park. He has his camera bag hanging off one shoulder and is browsing the selection of drinks. You notice him as you scan the snacks the little store has. You watch him for a few seconds, curiosity piqued for some reason. You turn your attention from him and continue looking for snacks to eat on your way home. You pick a few things out, turning to maybe grab a water bottle. You’re surprised to see that he hasn’t left yet and is now watching you, though it appears he’s trying to be subtle about it. You smile small and dip your head to him in greeting. He returns the gesture, eyes watching you curiously. You return your gaze, rushing to the check-out counter. While the cashier is ringing you up, you turn your eyes to the glass doors, noting how low the sun was getting. You finish pulling the change out, quickly leaving the store. You glance over your shoulder one last time, eyes meeting the man’s once again.

You had become curious about why the photographer captured what he did. The third time you encounter him, you tell yourself, you’ll talk to him. That is, if there is a third time. For a while, it seemed you wouldn’t have a chance to meet him again. The sun had begun to set sooner and sooner, now with summer fully over. You had been heading home slightly earlier than usual, as you couldn’t stay out at night. You would if it were physically possible, but it was not for you. Álfar are closely linked to the sun, and to nature, and, as an Álf, you needed as much sun and warmth as you could get. The flowers that naturally grew in your hair would wilt, as would you.  You were surprised when you walked past a few food vendors that lined the street and saw familiar strands of light purple hair. He was dressed in clothing that almost fully covered his whole body. Only the skin of his face was showing. You examined the person as you walked closer, noticing that it was indeed the person you encountered twice before. You wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t have a reason to. As you slowly walked past him, you heard a soft, “Ah, hey!” and felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn around, surprised at the turn of events.

“I was hoping to see you. You left this at the convenience store.” You looked down at his hand, surprised when you saw the book he was holding out to you. It was one of your favorites, and you were resolved to never finding your copy and having to buy a new one. You gently took the book, “Thank you. I was worried that I’d never find it.” You looked down at the cover, feeling your body beginning to shiver, “I should go.” You waited for his response, surprised when he sounded almost disappointed. You quickly left, not looking back. 

You run into him a few more times. You learned that his name is Kihyun, that he is a photographer who has held exhibits before, that he and you could never be together. To say that you’d grown fond of him would be an understatement. You’ve come to like him very much in the short times you ran into one another in the golden hour just as the sun was setting below the horizon of the city. You understood that you could never stay with him the moment you learned that he is a vampire. Of course, you’d never feel this way over someone’s species. In fact, you never really cared for it. Instead, your body physically would not be able to. Kihyun had once asked about the flowers that seemingly grew alongside you hair. You had to explain to him that it was common for your species. He seemed entranced, gently reaching out and tracing the petal of a striped carnation, I wish I could be with you. 

A few days later, when you meet again during the golden hour, he asks you, “Have you heard of álfröðull?” You peer at his face curiously and shake your head no. He smiles softly, “It means ‘elf disc.’ That’s what the sun was supposedly called by the Álfar long ago.” You could hear the sentimentality in his voice. As a vampire, he must have been around for a long time. You looked up at the sky, to where the sky was painted in warm oranges. You wished the breeze was as warm.

On the next day you meet, it’s especially cool. You bundled up, hoping to be able to meet with Kihyun again, even if for a short time. Kihyun is holding a single flower when you spot him at the park. You recognize it as a daffodil. You liked them. They reminded you of the sun. When you reach him, Kihyun smiles small, shyly handing the single bloom to you. “Someone once told me that these mean something about the sun. It reminded me of you.” Now, daffodils would remind you of Kihyun, The sun is always shining when I’m with you.

You ask Kihyun later if he knows anything of the language of flowers. “I know of some,” he responds. He smiles at you, wide and almost devious. “I’d have to say the tiger lily is my favorite.” You nod in understanding. They fit Kihyun well. He asks you for yours, “The tea rose,” I’ll always remember.

Kihyun shows you his some of his photos one day. They seem bleak, almost sad. Longing. It makes your heart ache. Until he gets to the most recent pictures. They look like colors have bloomed in them. You also note that there are flowers in quite a few of them. Kihyun shows you his favorite picture. The foreground is a cluster of yellow tulips, There is sunshine in your smile. 

Kihyun has to leave, he tells you. The cold of the wind is as biting as the cold that freezes your heart over. You look at him, “You’re leaving?” He nods, explaining that he has a touring photography exhibit in Europe. He submitted more of his recent photos, the ones he is proud of. “I’ll be back, I promise.” On that same day, he presents to you a small cluster of jonquils, I return your affections. 

  A few days later, during the golden hour of Kihyun’s last day with you - “For now,” he reminds you - he pulls you into a hug. Then, Kihyun gives you a single rose in full bloom, I love you.

[lunarkat87]

It's been so long since I posted to this blog. I guess I stopped when I lost touch with my best friend who was like a sister. I've been wishing I could talk to her for guidance for so long, but I had to let her go for myself. She was attempting to push a guy on me when I wasn't ready, and purely so I would have a reason to move back to our hometown. Didn't she remember how bad that place was for me? I was homeless for nearly 4 years, bouncing between places, never secure, just surviving. Every time we talked I could feel my energy depleting, but she was my best friend, so why would I leave her? She was getting married, so naturally she was focused a lot on that, and I was meant to be her maid of honor. And as the MOH, it was my job to stand up for the bride, and to get the bridal party in order. So when I saw how much they kept hurting her, and how she was more sad about her experience as a bride than happy, I stepped up to the plate. Me, the girl terrified of her own shadow on some days. But I did it, and she called me her only friend, and her other bridesmaids did not like it, so they ran to her.... and she called me a bully. It was in that moment that my heart was broken, that she could think I had bullied people into something. She was ultimately my soul mate, we were meant to be in each others lives... and suddenly I was reduced to this one word. And all the pain, all the hurt I had over the years preceding this came pouring out, how she guilt tripped me, how I needed her and she wasn't there, how just because it wasnt what she wanted to do she didn't stick to plans with me. How she blew me off time and again, and how she stopped seeing me and I always had to travel to see her. And it was done. And what broke my heart more was the relief that I felt after I sent her an email. I loved her, so why would I be relieved? But as I write this today, I wish I could talk to her. Because she was and has always only ever been, the person that understood me. Who understood my heart, my mind, my emotions. Who helped me heal from my ex-fiancé that cheated on me. On the days I felt like giving up, and not being able to see through the blinding pain she was there to support me. She sent me quotes, she texted me every day, she made sure I was okay. And she always knew deep down I wasn't, and she was okay with that. She didn't expect or need me to be. And I wish I could have her now, because as I write this that fragile heart that I had finally fixed, has broken and shattered all over again.

You see, I met a guy. It had been 2 years, and I was ready to open myself to the idea of love again, especially because I realized I did not love my ex anymore, nor had I for a long time. I had tried dating in between those years, but it never felt right, or like I was ready. But after spending time on my own and feeling empowered, I downloaded a dating app. But it wasn't long before I began to dislike it, I don't like judging based off of pictures, and only a few words. I was feeling discouraged, maybe I wasn't ready... but then the app pinged for someone they thought I might like. I saw him and thought, wow he is handsome, he has a smile that I could melt from, and.... was that a racoon on his head?? I had to know, and so I hoped he would respond. And there began my downfall, because he did.

We spent an entire week texting, and I found myself eager and smiling at my phone. I was actually excited, and couldn't wait to meet him in person. We even came up with nicknames... he was Cinna-Ron because he asked me if I thought he was as sweet as a cinnamon roll... and he was, but even more so. My heart pounded as I waited to meet at the boba shop where he would pick me up for our date. And when he finally arrived, he was even more amazing in person. And he brought me burgundy colored carnations, it was that moment I knew I'd love those flowers forever. He opened my door for me and was a true gentleman, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I felt the world slow and my heart stop. All I could think was "wow~" we spent the whole night together, talking and kissing and flirting and I was convinced I had never felt more alive. And so began my hope.... that evil, snaring, soul crushing light..... the hope that things would keep going well, and that he felt the same way. To my excitement he did, and it was like I had known him forever. I was so unbelievably happy, and excited, and absolutely terrified. Because deep down I knew he was going to break my heart.... and so I ignored all of my alarms, my instincts. "Run away, he is going to hurt you" "don't let him in, keep him at a distance" "this will only lead to pain" and I could feel my heart shake from fear... like it knew it wouldn't survive another fracture... but I stood my ground, I was going to fight myself and trust for once, because he was nothing like anyone I had ever met before. He made me feel safe, he was why I took so long to come back, because I wanted to give him a real unicumbered chance at loving me, instead of pushing him away. I was happy being alone, I was content with myself and who I was, but I wanted to share it.... so I let him in.

Not long after I began to have health issues, an excruciating pain developed in my abdomen that I never found a real answer for. I hurt my wrist at work, and was in a minor fender bender that hurt my upper back. I was in my last year of Nursing school, and so the stress began to overwhelm me and I started overeating again. Before I knew it I was 30 pounds heavier.... but worst of all the darkness started creeping back in.... here was my depression again.... and crippling anxiety.... it began to be too dark to see any light.... I failed 2 exams in my last semester.... but I still had hope and light because he was there. Reminding me I was smart and I could do it.... and when I opened up about my mental health, I told him I would understand if he didnt want to stay because he didnt sign up for that... and he told me he wasn't going anywhere.... and so I had some hope to hold onto.... because I knew the real Kat was in there still, but the world was piling it on and I was suffocating, and he was patient enough for me to get back to me again. A week later he changed his mind.... he decided he couldn't "reciprocate as strong of feelings" for me as I had for him. A polite way of saying he doesn't love me, and knew he never would. And just like that, hope was gone....

Did I imagine it? The last 8 months? Was I really the only one who fell in love? Did I misread all of his actions as just really strong like and not love? The only reason I was open about my feelings towards him was because I genuinely believed he felt the same, his actions spoke louder than his words, or lack thereof. And I said I would wait for when he was ready to say it back, because I wasn't going anywhere and he made me believe he felt the same.... little did I realize he had one foot out the door from the start of our relationship. He thought the feelings would grow but they never did.... so when he smiled at me and held me close did he feel nothing? Was there not a fire roaring in his chest for me? Did not every fear and care melt away? Did the sound of my voice not send a thrill through his heart? Did he not look at me and feel pure happiness? What happened? What went wrong? What changed? It was me. It had to be me. Why else would he decide this now? He couldnt see the girl he first met anymore, I was a whole new person to him and he did not like what he saw or how he felt with me. And so he decided it wasn't "fair" to me if he kept me because he couldn't "reciprocate as strong of feelings."

Ultimately I don't believe I ever really had a chance with him, because he kept me at a distance emotionally. I realize now he never truly opened himself to me, and when he saw how serious, how real a relationship with me could be. He chose to run instead of opening his heart to being hurt. So you know what, maybe I do deserve better than that. I deserved the person he made me believe be was, he started out all in but I didnt realize he had that foot out the door, especially after I told him those three words. He has an idea of what he thinks love is like and how it's supposed to last, but doesn't realize that love is different each time you find it. He always told me he loves love, so why didnt he want the love in front of him? I think he still holds his heart for the one girl he ever really loved. So he'll never find what he is looking for because each new person he brings into his world, he never really gives a chance to, they'll never fit that mold. How can he expect to love someone, if he doesn't allow himself to? And yet, here I am... still wondering why I was not enough.... it's never enough.... and so I've closed my heart to love permanently. Because I can't stand this pain.... I feel so tricked... and so betrayed... the only quote befitting this is by Bob Marley "The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her." How do I trust love if it ever comes again? Because what I mistook for love from him, was apparently nothing.... how do I trust actions now? How do I trust myself? And how did I mean absolutely nothing to him? Why am I the only one hurting? How was I so blind? I was foolish to believe someone like him actually loved me... it never crossed my mind that he didn't... he never made me feel otherwise.... I hate this. But what can I do? He'll never regret this decision, that isn't like him. Why would he regret leaving someone he doesn't love? He'll never miss me, for the same reasons. I can't make him love me if he doesn't. I'll be a fleeting thought for him, but for me he'll always be that maybe. I'll always find myself wanting to talk to him, wishing I could be with him. And if he ever does find love, I'll likely envy that girl. Because she must be something truly special to awaken his love... so I'll go back to finding myself. I'll try to finish school amidst this chaos in the world, become a nurse, buy a house with a backyard for my dogs. And be content knowing that I don't want love, I don't want this pain. I reached for too much happiness and light, and so the universe has ripped all of that away from me, reminding me that I don't get that kind of contentment. School hangs in the balance, still unsure if they will be able to continue due to Covid-19. The man I thought loved me is gone, and my love with him. That bright shiny future I thought was waiting this year is gone. So now I'm lost to wander alone. But this time I choose to be, because this pain isn't worth my sanity, or my life. I'm tired of surviving, I want to live.... Goodbye my sweetest of cinnamon rolls... I know you'll never see this... but I hope you know the love I felt was real...

03/19/2020 2220

[terriblenight]

It’s 1991.

Aziraphale heard someone entering his bookshop. Since that day began he had a feeling that might happen. He usually doesn’t like that sound; it only means that soon he’ll have to deal with telling people off, but that one is different and he feels it. He feels the sadness, the fury, the disbelief. Hurt. It stinks of someone hurting. He isn’t really familiar with that, doesn’t know how to console a person who just lost something dear to them, but nevertheless he’s as happy as one in this situation can be, mainly because it means he chose not to be alone. Crowley walks in, his shoulders slumped, his posture just a little bit off, face framed with familiar sunglasses, shielding him from the world. 

„Crowley, I’m..” started Aziraphale, but was quickly interrupted. „Did you hear the news?” There was a moment of silence, just a tiny tiny moment before Aziraphale responded „Yes. Yes dear, I’m afraid so.” Crowley sighed and took off his glasses. Aziraphale couldnt remember when was the last time he saw his eyes bare like this. As Crowley sat on the couch, his movements slow and tired, the angel managed to get his finest wine and pour it into glasses. He gave the demon one of them and quietly sat next to him and watched him drinking the wine so fast he nearly choked. He figured the glasses are useless, pouring the wine would be a simple waste of energy so he miracled a second bottle and just gave it to Crowley.

They sat, drinking, for a long time. Or short. The passage of time was something neither of them considered worth noticing – after all they had it plenty. „Crowley, dear. You are allowed to grieve, you know that?”, Aziraphale decided to speak. „Don’t.”, came a simple, hard answer.

„What do you need, then?”

Crowley turned to him, eyes lost. „I am not sure, angel”, his voice shook a little. Aziraphale suddenly hated the way it all works, human lives. Such fragile things yet so brave in their existense. He took Crowley’s hand that was laying on his lap and intertwined their fingers. Turns out his voice wasn’t the only thing that was shaking. Crowley squeezed harder. Aziraphale could swear he saw the demons eyes get a bit wet.

„Have you ever met him?”, he decided to ask. „Oh yes. Once. Not counting the concerts of course”, answered Crowley. „We met at some awful, awful club. He looked lost, i was bored, so i decided to mess with him a bit. Even took him to a private room.” „I know you want to tell me everything, but please spare me the details”, the angel was suddenly blushing. Good thing that Crowley didn’t look at him then. Seems like his eyes were reliving the past. „Oh angel, it wasn’t like that at all.. I was shitfaced, he was lonely – we talked. All night long. Singing wasn’t the only thing he was good at, you know. He was a pretty good listener too. I mean who could sit there fully focused and listen to me rambling about almost 6000 years of stuff”, he looked at Aziraphale and added „besides you, naturally.” „He listened to every word i said. We laughed. He cried. Demons dont give hugs, you know, i had to sent a note to hell that i tried to strangle him”, he laughed bitterly. „He gave me a note, here, I still have it”, he took a piece of paper from his jacket with his free hand and gave it to Aziraphale, who took it carefully. It was still folded, so he asked „Can i read it?” Crowley just nodded, so he finally unfolded it.

„If you ever want to pour your heart out again darling, call me. Freddie.”, it said. Underneath it was a phone number.

„When he was writing that i told him that demons don’t have hearts”, he smiled fondly. „He just said that i must be pretty bad at my job then.” The angel took his second hand, feeling something inside him breaking a little. „Oh, Crowley… It must be truly awful to..” „Angel, before you say anything, I didn’t tempt him. At all. Never.”, said the demon without any heat in his voice. „I called from time to time. We talked for hours. He always laughed I’m that little devil on his shoulder, only nicer. Went to every concert since then. Mainly for the music, have you heard these songs? Masterpieces.”, trailed off Crowley. „Yes I’ve heard a few. Not really a fan but I recognise a talent when i see it. Or hear, in that case. And he without a doubt was very talented.”, said the angel quietly. „Yes..”, now the demon was looking straight into the angel’s eyes, „I was there. When he was leaving. Pretty sure his soul saw me, cause he smiled and tapped at his shoulder. I don’t know where he went, I hope It’s heaven, though I’d never talk with him again. He doesn’t deserve anything less”, his voice cracked at the last words.

Aziraphale noticed tears. He didn’t know demons could cry, but he also assumed they don’t make friends with humans, let alone angels. The world was strange. He released Crowley’s hands. „Come here, dear boy”, said and opened his arms. Crowley fell into him as if he didn’t have any air in his body left. His arms held angel’s waist tightly, hands placed on his back. A tiny, single sob went through his body. Aziraphale just held him like that, for a couple of minutes. That felt very human. When they finally let go, Crowley sniffed. „It’s kinda funny, he would hate that kind of thing. Being sad.” „I’m pretty sure he would forgive such a thing.”, Aziraphale smiled. So did Crowley. „I could check if he went to us. Maybe even could manage slipping him a little note.” „Oh, such rebelious of you.” „We both are a bit different from our usual appearances today, don’t you agree? Now, I want you to play me your favourite mr Mercury songs.”, said the angel, miracling another bottle of wine.

„Hmm.. i think you’re gonna love this one then.”

_________________________ First time writing a fic. I needed to let my feelings out after i cried almost 40minutes during Bohemian Rhapsody. Grammar is just a silly human thing, so don’t worry about it. I am not worried about it. Hope you enjoyed that (whatever it is) xx

[milk-is-here]

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I was thinking about the song helpless from Hamilton and I suddenly wanted to write meeting mista at a ball, I'm sappy. Also I'm shoving my oc in here to act as my best friend and accompaniment (or smthn) to the ball. Also anytime I decide to actually say my full name in this, I'll use the last name Aldoss cause privacy stuff lmao

I was quietly chatting with my friend Ziti, sipping occasionally from my glass. This ball was held annually, though I never bothered to come until tonight. Ziti was invited by others she knew and she used this to rope me into attending. The catch was, she got to choose my dress, and thankfully, I got to choose hers.

Ziti's dress was elegant, it featured a sweetheart neckline with no straps, the skirt cascading to the floor with a slit to mid thigh. Dazzling sparkles peppered the edges of the skirt, her silver wedges matching. Her hair was down and curled lightly, the black to blue ombre making a contrast with her dress. She wore minimal makeup, using just a bit of eyeliner to accentuate her orange eyes.

The dress Ziti chose for me, was the most gorgeous number I've seen. The neckline was an off shoulder illusion, the sleeves being a baby blue lace, the bodice slowly becoming a darker blue as it led into a navy blue skirt. The skirt itself was asymmetrical, the back trailing to my ankles. My hair was half up half down, the front pulled back into a braid that laid flat on tight curls. I wore flats, knowing I would be standing for quite a while and perhaps dancing with some of the other guests.

As Ziti and I talked, I just so happened to be facing the door. Taking another sip of my champagne, I almost choked when I saw the newest arrival. Swallowing thickly, only for my breath to be stolen, I couldnt tear my eyes away.

His suit was a dark blue, almost black, his tie featuring a peculiar but intriguing pattern. His tanned skin and dark eyes drew me in, my heart begging me to go over, my soul tugging me in his direction.

I tapped Ziti on the shoulder twice, not taking my eyes off him. She nodded at the signal that we had come up with before the event, walking off to find the group of friends that had come with her, while I made my way toward the handsome figure.

Weaving in and out of the crowd, I finally made my way across the room, tapping his shoulder gently. He turned around and as his eyes met mine, my breath was stolen once more. He smiled enchantingly, my heart slipping a beat. And then, he introduced himself,

"My name is Guido Mista, may I have the pleasure of knowing yours, signorina?"

I flushed slightly and smiled at him, responding with my own name,

"Sarah Aldoss, it's a pleasure to meet you"

"The pleasure is all mine, tesoro"

He gently took my hand and kissed my knuckles, flashing another alluring smile up at me. I giggled softly before asking him to dance. His smile widened as he accepted, taking my hand a bit more firmly as he lead me to the dance floor.

We swayed left and right, a twirl or two making its way in. We talked softly the entire time, getting to know each other more and more. Before we knew what happened, our dance had turned to more of a swaying embrace, my head leant against his shoulder as he hummed along to the music playing.

As the night approached its midnight peak, we paused our swaying to walk into a garden outside the venuea. Quietly closing the doors behind us, we quietly walked hand in hand under the pergola, gorgeous wisteria blooms dangling off the arches.

We turned to face each other, smiling softly as fireflies began to light up the area, making the moment even more magical.

"I've known you maybe a few hours, and yet it feels as if I've known you my whole life..."

My words were breathless, taking in the beauty of his visage surrounded by soft yellow lights and light purple flowers. My hand reached up slowly, finding its place upon his cheek, Mista leaning into the caress. His hand found my waist, pulling me ever so slightly closer, whispering to me in response,

"You enchanted me the moment our eyes met, eternity spelled out in a glance... despite knowing each other for such short while, I feel I must ask-"

I cut him off quietly, whispering back the question I anticipated,

"Would you be mine?"

He nodded ever so slightly, leaning in close and gently placing his lips upon mine, the stars shining ever brighter as love filled the air.

Also fun fact!!

In Japanese Kabuki theater, the symbolism for the Wisteria is Love, Sensuality, Support, Sensitivity, Bliss and Tenderness. The abundance of the Wisteria flowering vine also signifies our own expanding consciousness.