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twig-tea · 6 months

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Only Friend Finale Reaction

I want to write this down now because I suspect my feelings on this will change over time. In this moment, immediately post-finale, I am satisfied. I feel happy. I am glad this show got made, and that I watched it.

Only Friends was billed as the messy gays show. I went in expecting something close to Friend Zone but with more gays, and that's what we got. Not a Warped Effect with explicit morals and lessons about sex, consent, sexualities, kinks, etc., not a GayOK Bangkok which is grounded in realism.

And because this was Jojo and Ninew and Den and Best, it's still more realistically queer than any GMMTV BL to date, and there were some absolutely stellar moments that stand alone as moving, and powerful, and beautiful, and genre-changing. And so near the beginning of the show airing, I raised my expectations; maybe this show was going to do more.

But was clear by the penultimate episode that it wasn't. I wrestled a lot on here with my need for this show to be the one that finally broke up the mixed pair expectations, and let sluts be sluts, and finally showed a threesome, and maybe even gave us consensual non-monogamy. It didn't go that far in any of those realms, but it took a step closer on many of them, and considering where BL has been to date that's still pretty huge for GMMTV, and I don't want to lose sight of that or judge it for what I wanted it to be instead of what it ultimately was.

The other thing I wrestled with a lot in this show was what other people were seeing in it, and my frustration that people were taking away moral lessons that the show wasn't giving. I think I was successful in that I watched this finale with satisfaction for what I was getting, even though I know a lot of people won't see what I saw (and btw I'm not even claiming that what I saw was what the creators intended! I am not claiming superiority here, just bias lol). So I watched this finale deciding to take what I wanted from it, rather than what I thought it was actually trying to say, and for that reason I enjoyed the hell out of it.

So. Here are my takeaways from the Only Friends finale:

We got a three-way kiss, even if it didn't lead to a threesome, after teasing us all series that was still satisfying and we got it as part of a branded pair in a GMMTV show. It was fun, and messy, and I loved it. I appreciate that it was also...maybe necessary is too far lol but it was actually in service to the plot--we all knew Sand still had feelings for Boeing, or else he would not have still been so mad at Top that he was willing to use Nick and Ray to get his revenge. Not every emotional loose end needs to be resolved with kissing, but it was kind of fun that they tried (and I also really appreciated that it didn't work lol).

I loved that Mew and Ray talking as friends got them to compare notes on and eventually team up to take down Boeing. Their friendship really is the backbone of this series, and I'm glad it survived everything. Mew is so relieved to have someone else taking care of Ray because he never wanted that role and wasn't good at it, but he does care about his friend's happiness and is more than happy to step in when there's drama. I appreciate that he made really clear to Sand that his feelings for Ray are platonic, in the bar, that's the first time I've really seen him be truly supportive of Ray, and it was nice to see.

The Mew and Top scenes were fascinating. I think this is where I'm going to differ from the bulk of the audience and I've made peace with that. I do not find stories like theirs romantic--where both partners need to be in control and play games to stay in control the whole time--so for me, the fact that these power struggles were still present in all of their scenes satisfied my desire to see them stay together, happy but on edge. So. That scene with Mew and Top in which Mew agrees to live with Top but then asks him to apologize to Sand right afterwards; I read that as pretty manipulative on Mew's part, and Top's uncomfortable face at the end means that he felt it too. Maybe I wasn't supposed to read it that way, but that's why it worked for me. The ring, too, "now or never", it's not a promise of forever, it's a promise of the present [such a strong ephemerality statement]. The conversation in the bath in which they outline their needs and identify that they have contrasting needs, and say "I'll work on it / we'll deal with it when it comes" is exactly what I was expecting of this relationship. They're not perfect for each other, and they're going to continue to push one another. Right now they're agreeing to try, without a guarantee that it will work. Talking about their needs is good, but we don't actually see them trying, so it didn't hit as romantic as it would otherwise for me either. And Mew daring Sand to kiss Top in order to get them to be chill was such a Mew power move I loved it. He asked Top to apologize to Sand, and then forced them to be in close proximity before getting confirmation that Top was ready. Top apologizing to Sand in that last second before they kissed was him clinging for power while Sand was hovering over him, and it was a perfect Top volley. Constant power struggle, that's how I read these two. Mew teasing Top with whether or not he's slept with anyone else was so interesting considering their history around that--I was probably supposed to see it as growth in their relationship that they can joke about it? Or maybe they were trying to undo some of the sexual morality nonsense that made its way into this show by pointing out that actually it doesn't matter if Mew had been with anyone before? But what I saw was Mew still struggling to have a power foothold over Top now that he's moved in. I will admit the fire scene, at first, I was so confused by. Were we supposed to be moved by Top getting past his trauma? What was that scene even about? I think, in the context of Mew's struggle with his place in Top's life, and his power in this relationship, it was about Mew understanding the invisible support he provides for Top, and why he's important to Top. Mew watched Top be competent and collected in the face of a triggering event, and was impressed at how Top had it all together, but Top credits Mew's presence for that. I think it helped Mew start to actually see a future with Top, because he understands his place in it a bit better. Even if he feels like he's not doing enough, Top sees his presence as strength, so maybe he doesn't need to worry quite so much about keeping score. But that's honestly me reaching, I struggled with that scene and think it was the weakest in the finale [and @lurkingshan I read your post and could believe that your read is true, that it was there to prove Top did have trauma].

Can I tell you how much I love how this show ended, with Mix's character smiling at Mew, and Top's nervous look? Because I think we've wrestled with Mew's confidence in this relationship for the whole show, but it's clear Top still feels unsettled/uncertain in this relationship and I love that we ended with him feeling threatened. This for me was the perfect ending for this couple, and what I've wanted as their ending all along--they're happy right now, they know there are potential bumps on the road in their future, and they're not certain they'll make it through, but they're willing to try--but the threats are real, and present, and not going to be easy because this relationship is not solid.

I also really appreciated what was happening with Boston and Nick, even though I wish it would have been more explicit or done better; what we got was still better than I expected from a GMMTV show. I loved Boston dissuading Nick from following him, and finding the romantic asks to be too many/too much, and having a different definition of "boyfriend" (but not different enough to not like to Nick's face about where you were, Boston, I see you). I love that Nick didn't get mad at Boston for "cheating", understood what Boston was offering for what it was; I also really loved Sand's advice to Nick that just because what's on offer is laid out honestly and fairly, that that means he has to accept it if it's not what he wants. I didn't love Boston trying to backtrack when Nick decided not to take him up on it; but I did love Nick's response, telling Boston to own who he is rather than trying to be someone he's not.

I think this is where my attempts the last couple of weeks to let go of what people will take from this show has helped, because yeah, you can see this as the narrative punishing Boston for being a slut, but this has never been a morality play, and so I'm taking from it how I see it. And I see it as Boston getting a clean slate with a bit more perspective going to New York. What I would say to Boston if he were my friend: This friend group was a mess and they always judged Boston for his sex life more than was deserved; they also violated his privacy by passing around his sex audio and never apologized for it. Boston also didn't take their feelings into consideration when he decided who to have sex with, and he messed with their relationships which was not being a good friend either. Does he actually want them back, or is he just feeling lonely? My hope for him is that he takes what he's learned about other people's feelings--that not everyone sees the world he does, and he has to understand that people will be hurt by different things whether or not they would hurt him, if he wants to retain relationships of any kind including friendships, and decide whether or not they're worth making concessions for before hurting them so that he doesn't lose people he doesn't want to--and finds folks who fit better with his worldview and morals, and then is better able to keep them in his life. But also these people are hypocrites, and he should not take their opinion as a statement of fact about his worth. He didn't do anything worse to them than they did to him or each other.

I know a lot of people are going to see this storyline as a punish the slut story. I was wrestling with this two episodes ago, maybe that's why I'm willing to be chill about this now. I was hoping we'd get Boston as a reason to discuss consensual non-monogamy in a GMMTV show, but I am actually ok with Nick saying listen, I need to be honest about what I want and it's not that, and Boston you shouldn't be trying to give me what I want because that's not going to make you happy either. Boston being alone isn't a sad ending; to me it's the ending he was expecting and aiming for this whole time. The only difference is he's surprised by how he feels about it now that he's in it, and he's panicking a bit. Boston was not just a slut, he was a slut who didn't care about who he hurt; it's that latter piece that he's wrestling with in this finale, and I love that Nick told him he didn't have to stop being a slut to stop being an asshole. Honestly, he'll get to New York and be fine, I really think so. And I took the Nick/Boston goodbye conversation as Nick saying "I love you as you are, a slut, and it's ok to be that. Go be a happy slut!" Do I wish he'd said that more explicitly so that people would understand that? Yes. But I've given up on that.

Cheum not going with the group to the fireworks was so interesting in the context of our conversations about Cheum over the past couple of days. I took this to be the show acknowledging explicitly that she's not actually a part of the core friend group; she schemes to keep the group together (unsuccessfully), and we don't ever get a sense of why she cares so much about that--maybe it's guilt for helping push out Boston for something he didn't do, maybe she needs the security of the group she's got, we never get that insight and I'm still a bit sad about that. But she's not there for the big fireworks finale, so we're at least clear that the show never intended her to be a Main Character. And I was so happy we got her saying her plan worked in the pool. Maybe that still won't be enough to convince the audience that she's an unreliable narrator, but it was satisfying for me! Also loved her unwrapping the photo from Boston and the group's uncomfortable reaction to it. Maybe Chuem's going to keep pushing that they reconcile; maybe she's just delusional about how well her plan worked. Either way, the tension was fun. I didn't get the full resolution of her character that I wanted, but the show nodding explicitly to the fact that she keeps herself apart from the main group so I shouldn't expect it was helpful to me getting over that. And we got a kiss! And another tiny insight into their relationship; again not enough to go on, but i did think it really interesting that the two things we know about April and Cheum are: April appreciates Cheum's positive energy, and April has asked Cheum to be more honest and not just positive for the sake of being positive (about her films). So I'm reading this as that these two are just as messy and as likely to continue to have problems as the rest of the group.

Ending in Sand and Ray because I think this is the least ambiguous; I appreciated that Sand started doing what Sand always does and saying "yeah I"ll sacrifice all of my sources of income for you no problem" (WHAT) and Ray waiting until they're alone again to say "actually that's ridiculous don't do that". I appreciated that Sand's new year plans were all about Ray because he hasn't had anything push him into actually being more selfish, and the resolution with Boeing was done for him so he didn't have to set boundaries after all (called that one), so he's had zero character growth, actually. I appreciate that Ray pushes him to try to be a little selfish, that's the best sign that Ray is finally actually caring about Sand's needs, and that their relationship might work, that I've seen the whole series. I'm taking it with a massive grain of salt, because the plan is for Ray to constantly expose himself to alcohol and partying. I think this is set up to be just as tenuous as the Mew/Top relationship, but it reads a bit more lovey-dovey because they're in a less problematic place at the moment (where they have just resolved one of their insecurities so they're more confident in one another--but it's not clear how long that will last, especially with the threat of Sand's self-sacrifice and Ray's fierce boundary-violating in the face of any threat looming in the background unresolved). Sand expressing his uncertainty around his role in the Hostel was also perfect, because he is an outsider in this project and doesn't have a role, and it's a perfect point for tension in the future between them.

Even the way Yo warns the group of friends in the very last scene that they're going to have to be better to one another and less dramatic in the future if they want this hostel to last felt ominous to me rather than preachy; have this group learned enough to make this business work? That definitely remains to be seen.

Nobody should be watching Only Friends with the idea that it's going to give them any kind of lesson about what to do; at best it's a list of what not to do's lol. None of these characters are perfect, they're all incredibly flawed, and young. So their choices, including whether or not to stay together, whether or not to stay friends, whether or not to stay in business, should not be read as a moral judgment by the showrunners. I definitely agree that this could have been more effective as a message if folks weren't happy at the end. But I've given up on it needing to be effective for everyone; they stayed in character to me, and it was effective for me.

I recognized so much of my friends and my youth in this series, and I am so grateful to have gotten to see that portrayed in a show that felt like a rollercoaster while I was watching it; I literally screamed aloud, I cheered, I laughed, I applauded. This show had characters casually snort coke, hook up, flirt with their exes, kiss their friends, make mistakes, forgive one another heinous shit, be mean, kiss outside their branded pairs, and in some cases let one another go.

There are a LOT of ways this show could have been better. It was close, so close in some cases, to being amazing, and it's fallen short in a lot of ways. It could have been a subversive and compelling narrative about slut shaming and the toxicity of fandom branded pairs. Instead, it was just a show about flawed people being flawed. But I had fun, and I'm not taking away from this show that any of these characters were in the right, or that sluts are bad, or need to change--whether it was the intended message, I've given up on that because I legitimately can't tell and if it is the message, I don't want to know. I don't think it overromanticized these flawed characters, but I can see how folks could see it that way. I'm choosing to remember that these characters have all been flawed and shown to be flawed throughout the show, and notice the ways in which they are still flawed, and the hints that things will stay messy. Maybe this is a bit like those experiments in which they found the way people in incarceration watch Die Hard very differently from how other people do or how it was intended LOL maybe I'm working too hard to justify what was just bad writing and gross moral judgments and toxic relationships being portrayed as romantic. But it didn't land that way for me, so I'm going to celebrate that and enjoy the feelings this show gave me.

#only friends the series #only friends meta #ofts meta #only friends #ofts #ephemerality squad #long post #typed so I can stop thinking it #I said it in the post but I'll say it again here: I don't think I'm taking a moral high ground or reflecting the creators most authenticall #I'm just watching the show in a way that lets me enjoy it even though I suspect it's saying things I don't like or morally agree with #that's not always something I'm able to do so I'm enjoying it while it lasts lol

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naomihatake · 9 months

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Nanami Kento headcanons #1

Summary: random Nanami headcanons, general personality traits I observed and demeanor. I might elaborate later on some of those.

TW: none, I guess?

︴He definitely has a hard shell. Genuinely, he has a stoic and low key shell rather than a cold one. He just seems unbothered and annoyed at the same time.

︴He's kinda sassy and blunt as fuck, but his comments are only for the best unless he's genuinely mad. He adores discipline and having plans for his next day, so he probably gets quite grumpy when it comes to unplanned things. Less grumpy when it's about a mission because he got used to how unexpected those are.

︴I see him as selfless. A bit too selfless even. He wouldn't let anyone die on his watch even if it costs his life (we're all crying about this one, I know)

︴I wonder if he has a hard time accepting his wrongdoings. And by that, I mean he has a hard time with himself rather than being unable of apologizing. I think he's very harsh on himself and he doesn't forgive himself easily. At the same time, I see him as someone who doesn't regret much. Those two sides of him depend on the context, most probably.

︴He cares more than he lets you see. And he's the type to believe in actions more than words and he follows that belief himself. He's the type to show more through actions than words and he tries his best to keep his promises. Is it even necessary to mention he doesn't make promises unless he's sure he can keep them?

︴His toxic trait is probably being so hard on himself he tends to avoid people thinking he's doing them a favor. However, I don't think this happens everytime. He has to go through really hard times and he doesn't forgive himself at all when he's on a mission with someone and they get badly injured.

︴He's honest. He's honest and very sincere and his bluntness probably makes him look cold, emotionless. He feels so much more than he lets be seen.

︴When he's close to someone, be it a friend or a partner, he's most likely softer. So much softer and his sincerity cannot only be heard, but seen on his features, in his eyes. He tries to mold his bluntness into positive criticism more, especially when it's about people he cares for, the ones he empathizes with.

︴He doesn't settle for less than he thinks he should receive because he gives everything, but he does feel guilty if shit goes down in any kind of relationship. He doesn't settle for less, but he doesn't wish for the moon either. It's kind of balanced, if you get what I mean?

︴If he's hurt, he tries to play it cool and take care of it by himself. He'd try to hide his pain, be it physical or emotional, but he wouldn't get mad if someone tries to help. He might say things that seem harsh, but if you'd look up at him as you help, he'd have such a soft gaze. He's genuinely grateful for help, even if he doesn't accept it at first.

︴He puts too much responsibility on his own shoulders, reason why he most probably doesn't want to become a sensei for young sorcerers. He'd burden himself with so much and he's sure there are people much better at this job, even if he can explain well. He's a good mentor, he'd be a great sensei. However, he swears up an down about how he wouldn't ever become a teacher.

︴He remains a kind person, despite what he seems to be. He's kind and if he'd get born into another life, he'd choose a universe without curses and the burdens he has to carry because of situations in the past he calls "mistakes". Once again, he puts so much on his own shoulders when no one asks him to. He's hard on others, but most importantly, he's hard on himself.

︴He's not optimistic or pessimistic most of the time. He's realistic and realism sometimes appears like pessimism to other people. He's able to read both the good and the bad part from a situation and to put into words. His way of talking/communicating makes it seem like it, but he's just realistic. He used to be very pessimistic as a teenager from what I gathered. He matured over the years and now sees everything from many other perspectives.

︴He's very good at communicating. If the conversation or the group of people he's with feels worth it, he definitely talks. And he's a smooth talker as well.

︴He doesn't let anyone walk over him. He'd be passive aggressive while also casually pointing out they're being an idiot. (I live for savage Nanami)

︴He hates when people disrespect others and ranks and the way sorcerers' grading is viewed is very annoying to him, most probably. In his eyes everyone has potential, in a way or another.

︴He's definitely sorry for the way those kids and teenagers have to just accept being sacrifices. And he'll protect them no matter what it takes because he's been there as well and he wishes he can give them better than what he's experienced as a young sorcerer.

︴"He returned to being a sorcerer from the life of a salaryman because he never felt truly appreciated and didn't believe his work had any significant impact on anyone. In contrast, work as a sorcerer allowed him to build up small bits of appreciation from innocent people. For Nanami, this was more than enough to allow him to live without regrets" — That's what Jujutsu Kaisen Wiki says about him and I couldn't find better words to explain this

#gosh i love him so much #my second biggest crush #kakashi is the first one since how many years???? six #hahahahah i love these men #nanami #nanami headcanons #kento nanami #nanami kento #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jjk #kento nanami x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento headcanons #kento #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanamin #naomiwrites

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haeryna · 3 months

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i feel like reader (especially after being called princess and the two working together to tear down her walls) would be in a dilemma— like a few things came out of them abandoning her but one being just this indescribable feeling of rage and hurt

so upon being in their hold and touch and suguru endearingly calling for her to hear them out, part of her wants to fold SO bad but the other part of her wants to stay unreasonable and not hear them out because it’s just so much easier to be angry at them and paint them as the villains in her life, if she does accept their apology she knows that feeling won’t go away— she’d have to come to terms with how bitter of a person she really was (i mean rightfully so, they did screw her over)

also bless u and ur writing— i don’t see many poly! satosugu x reader stories with a plot that has me biting my finger in absolute investment LMAO love uuuuuu 🫶🏾✨

ANON THANK YOU you perfectly summed it up !! i wanted to write a story where there was a difficult decision that had to be made, with several catalysts involving how everything went down. (splitting this so that it doesn't invade people's feeds with a wall of text LOL)

satoru's "coming out" to his parents: mine were so homophobic that i didn't come to terms with my own sexuality for a long, long time, so i empathized with the sheer panic and trauma that gave him. you don't make rational decisions when your parents are beating the shit out of you, and you also don't make rational decisions when you're 16 years old.

suguru choosing to leave reader behind: they could only withdraw so much money with the limits satoru's parents had placed on his bank account. they had to have enough to eat, to rent an apartment, to actually get away. they had to choose a place far enough so that satoru's parents wouldn't follow, which brings me to

retaliation: there's a unique kind of fear, when you're unsure if someone is hunting you down. there's a kind of terror in realizing they can track you. it's why they got rid of their phones, and immediately upon signing to the same company, received heavily protected ones. only people who had their number could reach them, or even respond.

"they could have said something:" again, they were panicked, satoru had just been beaten by his literal parents, and they were trying to flee as fast as possible. in the moment, they could not have and would not have been able to do that. as alluded to before, they did not live a comfortable life in asia. the beginning was rough as they scraped by. it wasn't until satoru began auditioning that things started looking up for them, and if you're into the kpop scene, you know how brutal training is. suguru ultimately spent all his time caring for satoru and working on the side until he also made it big.

"and what about after?:" honestly sometimes, when you know you fuck up, but you feel like you can't do anything about it anymore? that was them. and you can be upset with it all you want, but it had gotten to the point where they genuinely thought you would never be a part of their lives again. yet the chasm in their chest grew larger and larger, until they realized they couldn't continue on unless they know they at least tried.

that's not to say reader isn't in a predicament as well, like you mentioned nonnie. leaving hurts, and abandonment is worse, so it would be far easier to paint them as the bad guys. it doesn't matter what their intentions were. to reader, they left her alone, and now they're suddenly back for unknown reasons? reader is also not the most stable of mind right now (real); she's working two jobs on top of taking care of her sick parents. for the past five years, she's had to be the one taking care of herself. now satosugu need to prove that they WANT to be the ones taking care of her. i've been in this situation before, as the left party (who eventually ended up forgiving the leaver), so i hope that will help to incorporate realism into the situation.

and i'm glad you like the plot/understood the nuance of the situation! i'm grateful to you and your ask anon, thank you for allowing me to go in depth into the situation <33 i love you too!

#strawberry picking🍓⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡#idol!satoru gojo #rockstar!suguru geto #thank you nonnie #you deserve a bit smooch #me when i get to yap: i'm in love

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flugsammy · 2 months

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Hello love your work and just wondering if u can do a

Dr.Flug x y/n where they aren't yet dating just friends (who like each other). And they do mission or something (u can choose), and y/n does something wrong, and then they both get into an argument and out of nowhere Flug just blurts out they love y/n and y/n say they like him to.

U can choose what happens next

Hello, buddy!! I'm SO sorry for the delay, but I took a little breath to gain my creativity back! :D

This time, I tried a more practical way of writing, so here it is:

First of all, we have to remember we're talking about ""THE GREAT"" Dr Flug. Him, as a villain, considers love to be nonsense (a bit hypocritical of him, since we see how he treats 5.0.5). But in a romantic type of love, he'd be a bit.. difficult to deal with??? Let me explain:

As we are used to Demencia being 'the annoying one', we forget about how HARD Flug is to deal with. And he'd be even more so, if his s/o is some kind of assistant (especially, HIS assistant).

He's definitely the kind of guy who separate files alphabetically, separating each one by similar colors and if you put ONE in the wrong place.. HAHAHA, prepare for the scolding of your life. But now, let's get a little away from realism and get to what really matters. If he considers his s/o a friend or a close friend, things would certainly be a bit easier. Using our cute bear as an example again, Flug isn't the heartless villain he tries to make himself out to be! He can be quite affectionate, and less cruel when he wants to.

-Now, onto the mission scenario..

One client, one order, and the hero's location. As always, Dr Flug had created a plan to carry out Black Hat's orders. And to his surprise, Demencia was actually trying to collaborate...?? What's gotten into her? She was clearly holding herself back from running after the hero. Maybe boss had put her in her place? Either way, the doctor couldn't complain. Everything seemed to be doing right. It was like a dream!

Everything was going as planned. The hero (dumb, like most of his kind), had fallen into the trap like a duckling! While the guy looked around confusedly, all they needed was the shrink ray, which in just one shot, would end that entire mission! FINALLY! When his assistant was about to shoot, their attention was quickly taken by a butterfly, which made their hand slip and shoot at the post, next to the hero. The two-good-shoes' eyes quickly stopped at the villains.

— BUT WHAT- WHAT WAS THAT, Y/N??"

Before he could do something, Demencia's loud giggles, running towards the good guy were audible. WHY was it always like this?! A loud groan left the doctor's lips.

— DEMENCIA! Get out of there right no- NO- DON'T JUMP ON HIM!!

Flug's angry gaze quickly turned to his friend. The noise of punches caused by the lizard girl interrupted both of their hearing.

— What was that, [name]?!

— I'm- I'm sorry! I just got a little distracted!

— HOW could you be distracted by a BUTTERFLY?! The hero was right in front of you!

— I'm SORRY, alright?! I already apologized!

Their discussion was drowned out by the sounds of fighting between the hero and villain. 5.0.5 looked between both discussions, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds, Flug's voice came out again:

— WHAT KIND OF VILLAIN GETS SO EASILY DISTRACTED?! HAVEN'T YOU SEEN THE ORGANIZATION'S VIDEOS?! — Outraged, Flug asked.

— Of.. COURSE I SAW IT! I WATCHED ALL OF THEM, MR. KNOW-IT-ALL! YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING WRONG THAT HAPPENS, WHY CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT YOU HATE ME??

— AND SINCE WHEN I HATE YOU!? I LOVE YOU, DIMWIT!

A moment of silence fell between both, when the noise of kicks increased. Flug's eyes instantly widened. After a few seconds, the assistant's eyes lit up:

— You love me..? For real? — A small pause was heard. — Woah.. I never thought that you-..

Before all the chaos could continue, a black snow settled around them.

The hero, who had finally immobilized the lizard woman, contorted into an inhuman shape until he curled up, motionless to the ground. And in the middle of the shadows, Lord Black hat appeared.

A furious look on his face as he glared at his employees.

"....."

-Hah. For your all sake, I don't think I need to explain in detail what happened next.

After their sudden confession, things got a little.. awkward between both scientists, as Dr Flug couldn't make eye contact with his lab partner. But hey! It was just in the first few days after the mission disaster. After some time, the doctor would begin to show more affection for his partner (in a secret way, of course). We can say that Flug doesn't have much experience when it comes to romance, but he would certainly try to put some of his pride aside to be able to have a peaceful moment with his s/o. Specifically when both of their feelings finally come to the surface.

Thank you so much for reading! :D

And again, I'm REALLY sorry for the delay. I will definitely be making more requests later, but for now, I hope you enjoyed my writing! - Sam.

#dr flug #villainous #dr flug x reader #x reader #villainous flug #505 villainous #flug #demencia #demencia villainous #black hat #black hat organization #dr flugslys

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avelera · 1 month

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Apologies for screaming into your askbox like this but

EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT BENIOFF AND WEISS IS SO FUCKING TRUE AND I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE IS FINALLY SAYING SOMETHING

As someone who read the Game of Thrones books (probably younger than I should have...but that's beside the point) the sorts of things that the two Ds decided needed to be added for the sake of "realism" or "accuracy" was ALWAYS just an excuse to brutalize someone. Be it kids, be it women (though in GoT is was usually women) and so much of it was not in the books!!! Like, sure, the books have accrued a reputation for being brutal, and they totally are...but they never seem as gretuatus in the way that David and Dan seem to revel in the crualty. Utterly original characters are introduced for the express purpose of being killed or assaulted, and it makes watching Game of Thrones a harrowing experience.

I'm not surprised that this has continued in their other work, in so many ways, the bloodlust became their calling card. I am deeply thankful that most of the other places that had been courting them to make projects have dropped them.

I will say in defense of the no doubt huge team who worked on Three Body Problem that it's not a gore fest or anything. There was a lot I've enjoyed in eps 1-5 (which as far as I've gotten at the moment) and scenes of violence are hardly the only thing that happens (though umm... maybe be prepared for the opening scene. It's also a doozy.)

Anyway, as I see it, Benioff and Weiss's sadism is more like... Tarantino's foot fetish. It doesn't consume the entire story, but when Tarantino does a loving closeup of feet you're like, "Ah, there it is. I was wondering when that would show up." If B&W work on something, like it or not, they're going to mash the cruelty button and heighten the cruelty of canonical scenes (if it's an adaptation) in order to try to get a reaction out of the audience. It's just how they work. For some audiences, that might even be a feature, not a bug!

The thing that makes me so frothing at the mouth enraged about Benioff and Weiss is how fucking coquettish they are about their sadism. They always act so fucking surprised like they're shocked that anyone would think that the gore and the horror were the point and what drew them to the story (I know, I'm just repeating my post at this point but STILL--!).

Look, when I was a teen, I totally first started writing angst to sort of... express this vein of sadism in myself in a safe outlet like fiction. I wanted to make people cry with my writing. So I'd do things like just kill off all the characters and be so proud when a reader said they were sad after.

But that's just... really flat and amateurish angst, y'know? There are so many more sophisticated and meaningful ways to create emotion, including sadness, in an audience other than just killing off all the characters or torturing them.

But I feel I remember enough from those days (I'd like to think I've long since grown out of that impulse) to know a sadist when I see one? And Benioff and Weiss's storytelling, to my eyes again, is simply sadistic. It glories in watching people in pain and it finds ways to exaggerate that pain and the chance to exaggerate moments of pain is what draws them to the stories they like to depict.

And that's fine. Plenty of horror creators revel in gore and cruelty and it's an entirely worthy art form!

But for the most part, those horror creators know what they're doing and they're open or even joyful about the fun they have creating these horror stories! Enjoying creating horror stories or depicting suffering or even being sadistic, particularly in fiction where no one is actually getting hurt, is perfectly fine.

I just fuckin... wish Benioff and Weiss would admit that's what it is goddamn it makes me INSANE.

#benioff and weiss #game of thrones #netflix three body problem

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squishysoftmonsters · 3 months

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Anyone who reads my work,I don't mean stretching as an offensive term or in a shaming way. I don't use foul language in any of my work. Stretch is like my go to word. So I apologize to those who think I'm using stretch to say you're a slut or loose like a shotgun wound..please,don't feel this way. I'm trying keep my account in tact.

Orifices dont stretch..they actually accommodate what goes in there! 😏🥒

But realism shouldn't matter...fantasy sex is called FANTASY SEX for a reason..

GIMMIE THEM MORNING GUT STRETCHES WITH THAT KNOBBY GHOST PEEN!

#monster fucker #general post #squishylovers #text post

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lukevonhagen · 1 year

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my take on marius von hagen: part one, his approach to romance

marius has been with me for over a year now and he pretty much occupies my thoughts 24/7, and this was something i have been itching to write for a while. so... strap in, grab your juice box and your cheetos and let's get this show on the road yeah?

Fair Warning, this will not be under a read more, so i apologize in advance if it gets pretty lengthy. (edit: this post is abt 1.8k words long, wow sorry lol.)

this is going to be a character analysis... sort of; it's an analysis of the version of marius that lives in my brain rent free. given that this is an introductory post to what i believe might be a series of my insane marius ramblings, i think i should provide some insight as to what said marius is like in order for the rest of this post to make sense.

first of all, i embrace realism and i reject canon. in marius' sweet wonders card, he finally reveals the significance of the z dog tag he's always wearing. while i think it's really magical that he was able to move on from blaming himself for his mother's death by having an epiphany staring at the ferris wheel... well, i like to make him worse and i just don't think, ultimately, that it's likely or realistic. the marius in my head has a very hard time trying to justify his own existence. i'm not saying he doesn't want to live, or that he'd put himself in any kind of danger, but i believe that he works very hard in order to justify being alive (to himself). not only does he still grapple with the loss of his mother and the role he believes he had to play in that, but there's a part of him that also blames himself for giann's disappearance.

marius believes that he is a vortex that sucks in everything, that destroys everything in its wake. we know for a fact, above all else, that marius doesn't want other people to have to go down with him.

i also believe (especially due to this description) that marius personally manufactured the image he has as a playboy, as opposed to it being a reputation that was given by others which he eventually leaned into.

allow me to elaborate.

marius, in his desire to avoid people being chewed up in his life and spat back out, would want to control the situation as much as possible. there are a few reasons why i believe he'd make this reputation for himself, which are 1) having control of the narrative of himself and making sure people do underestimate him is precisely how he maintains the upper hand in many scenarios (because let's face it, no one expects ditzy, arrogant marius von hagen to be able to outsmart them), and 2) it's much easier to push people away when he makes himself seem incompetent and undesirable. he may be one of the richest men on the planet, but sometimes money isn't enough to redeem an awful composition.

all of that having been said, marius additionally has to have severe trust issues due to the fact that he has a lot of influence and wealth people undoubtably want to use him for, and said influence is the source of a traumatic experience he went through as a child that would forever change the way he'd interact with others in the future. if you remember, marius vaguely alludes to an incident in will of the trees.

he mentions it again in the card in the darkness when he and rosa get trapped in a dark cave and he begins to panic, only this time he's a little more detailed about what happened to him in order to explain his anxiety to her.

then, he actually gives the details of what happened in his personal story.

mc remembers the hints marius had dropped to her a couple of times regarding this incident, so she then asks:

i don't believe marius actually blamed himself for his mother until this was said about him. his mother is the root of all things; he thinks that if he was never born, she would have never died, and perhaps she and giann would still be around and would be happy and healthy. he convinces himself that his existence destroyed his family. the stress of his feelings and anxiety makes him extremely sick as a kid.

all of this was too much for a young marius; now, remember when i said that i reject canon? that's important, because i don't think he ever properly recovered from this episode. i fully believe that marius does need and should go to therapy as an adult, and hasn't done so. my headcanon as to why he didn't, and why he gives off the impression that he's fine now and everything is fine now, is because he wised up and realized that he was being a burden on others and his mother's death would be in vain if he did so.

marius, tired of being a strain on the people he loves, pretends to be mentally sound to avoid his father and brother worrying about him. the way he chooses to cope with this is to disassociate himself with these events that happened to him, to the point where he talks about them like it wasn't him personally that experienced it. (i might touch upon this again in a future post if it becomes relevant.) he can't let others know that things bother him, because it can be weaponized; it would make him look weak, and the last thing he wants is anyone worrying about him but himself, or anyone to take advantage of that weakness. consider this as a strategy he adopted from the "conceal, don't feel" philosophy.

that having been said, a personal acceptance to "get over it" to stop feeling like he needs an emotional babysitter in his relatives =/= a lack of resentment towards others for how that was handled. marius nearly died due to the cruelty of a jealous relative, and his family was right in trying to protect him (as burdensome as he feels he may is), and he learns pretty quickly that he cannot trust others.

he still is one of the most influential people alive, and that means there's going to be a slew of people walking in and out of the revolving door leading into his life that are going to want to take advantage of that fact. it also goes beyond just people wanting to manipulate him, but he doesn't enjoy playing along in this circus of social hierarchy, and doesn't enjoy the people hanging around in these spaces. because they're ingenuine, they have no merit to him, and quite simply put he's looking to fill his life with color and sincerity.

i propose that... in order to consider a romantic relationship with someone, despite how much he longs for one, he would need to deeply get to know the person first and it would take a significant time to do so... and i know what you're thinking, it's just like a regular relationship, right? getting to know someone before deciding if you want to be with them? except, to marius, this is extreme; this social sphere he occupies has effectively chewed him up and spat him back out, because he's at the top of the top. his father is the wealthiest man in the world. marius by virtue of being a von hagen is essentially on the same level as royalty, and his family name is not enough to protect him. he has to be sharp, and he needs to be alert and constantly on guard.

he'd have no idea what someone's intentions may be with him when he meets them and he knows better than to blindly trust a person's seemingly apparent good faith, but also... he's so worried about dragging people down that he'd be almost afraid to consider it. it isn't enough that people want to use and abuse him to their hearts' content, but they'd try to tear up anyone else who went in there with him, and marius would be afraid of that outcome. he's already ruined the lives of his mother and his brother in his failure to protect them from the circumstances that removed them from his life. he would be unwilling to cause someone else he cares about to be put in the same situation, and he wouldn't be able to bear it if they also ended up abandoning him.

all of that leads me to say: i believe he would be more scared and avoidant upon realizing he was falling in love with someone, rather than immediately trying to pursue it with all he's got like he would his other endeavors.

the reason? it's so simple to pursue art. art is an arbitrary passion of his that doesn't impede on anyone else but himself, nor is it influenced by any outside forces; marius has full control over it. the same goes for his company; no one is going to sit there and hold his hand with his newfound ceo duties. he's always been capable of pursuing things on his own. romance is different; romance involves putting his young and fragile heart on the line to go after a whole other independent and outside entity not knowing whether or not he's going to face rejection.

eventually, i believe he'll completely learn to get over the hurdle, but in the interest of transparency... i think he's going to need a nudge from the other person first. a sign it's reciprocated, before he has to put his heart on ice.

i think it's on brand for marius to be a tease when you meet him; it is a genuine facet of his personality, but it's also something that feeds well into his reputation. he's assuming that people are going to know exactly who he is when he runs into them on the street, so he doesn't even bother dropping his pretense. but, i do think that extends... he doesn't drop that mask right away, it takes months and months, and lots of patience and understanding in order to unravel the mystery that is marius von hagen. he's going to want to gauge whether or not it's something he wants to commit to, and if it is, he's going to have to be prepared to unpack all that baggage. he would have to believe that this is going to be a happy ending for him, that his fairytale won't be a tragedy, in order to see a path forward. once marius goes into something, he doesn't step out.

so, he won't put up that much of a fight if he starts to fall in love with you, but that doesn't mean he would be eager make that leap of faith without getting a hint that there will be a safety net ready to catch him when he falls.

#marius von hagen #tears of themis #lu jinghe #tot marius #z rambles #i might end up editing this post a dozen times as i think of new things to say

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fandomsandflyingstingrays · 9 months

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Full Thoughts on TDP Season 5

Under the cut, because there are many of them!

Starting off with things I liked:

Rayllum! It was so good to see them on the same page again, and they have a perfect balance between deep, romantic devotion and the shared laughter and gestures of best friends. Their dynamic this season was my favorite iteration of them so far

Janai and Amaya were wonderful as well. I was really bracing for Amaya to leave for Lux Area without telling Janai and a whole bunch of drama to ensue, but no! They communicate! They trust each other! It's so refreshing!

Side note: Lux Area was gorgeous the detail in every shot of the city and Bookery was so good. I want to live there. I will take on the night creatures if need be

I hoped we'd get an apology from Amaya for Rayla, and I'm really glad they took the time to put it in the show instead of a short story or anything like that. It was also cool to see Amaya recognizing the similarities she and Rayla share and acting as more of a mentor to her, I hope we see more of them together later on

The reoccurring message that oftentimes the best way to be strong is by going to other people for help- first Amaya's story, then Rayla trusting Callum, then Zubeia's talk with Avizandum. It's a very good moral

That whole thing with Soren and Elmer! Breaking the cycle of cruelty! I love Soren so much

Callum using dark magic again. I thought I would hate it if that happened, since we've seen a corruption plotline with him and with Claudia already, but the way it was done sort of added a good sense of realism. I like that Callum isn't a Perfectly Moral Mage just because he can do primal magic; it feels deeper and more complicated if he has to recognize that the easier, darker choice is always there, and sometimes he won't be able to resist it, but he has to try each time anyway

So many little moments that I'll probably be going into in separate posts because the dynamic between the characters was on fire. It was so good to see the team really working together, their chemistry was so good

Things I wasn't as much of a fan of:

The problem with the show really relying on people to read all the supplementary material is still present. I was pretty confused about who Kpp'Ar was until I looked him up on the wiki, and again, people who didn't know about Soren getting sick as a kid from the Book 2 novelization really wouldn't have gotten his part of the dream sequence. It doesn't ruin the show or anything but it does make it a little confusing at times

The plotline with the coins is starting to feel a little drawn-out. Runaan's presence would bring up enough complications between Rayla and the rest of the group that he needs enough time out of the coin to give that the weight it deserves, and I'm really hoping he gets out next season so we can have at least season 7 to go into that. Also, Ethari needs his husband back

As good as it was to see rayllum back together, I do still think we needed a scene of them actually talking things through. I'm sure it'll appear in a Reflections story at some point, but again, you don't want your show to lean that heavily on the bonus material

This is more of a nitpick than anything else, but the characters' faces in the early episodes felt really stiff. They'd be having a monologue where you could really hear the emotion in their voices, but their faces just... didn't really move

And finally: too many crabs. This is not a flaw with the season this is just because I personally am freaked out by crabs and I've never been so horrified in all my life as when the true nature of Finnegrin's ship was revealed. It'll haunt me forever

Overall I liked it a lot, and I'm really excited to see where it goes next! Claudia feels like she's on the very edge of the point of no return, if she hasn't already crossed it, and it'll be very interesting to see how she reacts to the loss of her leg and (most likely) the loss of her father next season. I'm also very excited for the nova blade, that sounds like a gorgeous piece of weaponry and seeing whoever wields it (my money's on Rayla) fighting Aaravos is going to be epic. This season has definitely ratcheted up my investment in the show, which I'm very excited about

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a-finnish-janitor · 6 months

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Is there anyone else who was really rattled by the Pat Maine broadcasts? Listening to him succumb to the affects of either dementia or Alzheimer's, coupled with how Scratch's story is changing reality.

At first its a little subtle, and can easily be brushed off as the affects of what is making everyone believe Saga's daughter is dead. But then it just gets worse. The angry call from Wendy's husband, learning there never was any kind of beef jerky business, forgetting how to use his own broadcast equipment. The last one I heard was he was about to talk about Deerfest, apologizes for the "joke" everyone is trying to play on him by insisting Wendy is dead, unable to remember what he was talking about and then repeating everything before cutting the broadcast short. Like, I've never even personally had to deal with someone I know having to go through with this, but for some reason it just hit really hard. And the voice acting from everyone really sells it.

Its interesting how they put this little bit of realism in amongst all of the supernatural horror going on. And for so many people it is a horror story for them (not all, but many), whether dealing with the affects themselves or watching a loved one succumb to it. I don' t know why my brain won't leave this alone, can't stop thinking about it.

#alan wake 2 #alan wake 2 spoilers #pat maine #my posts #sorry if this comes of as insensitive #when i saw him on the porch of the nursing home i kind of wish i could have somehow given him a hug #but yeah have a couple more posts in me about really random things my brain wont leave alone #i have a post about cynthia weaver i need to make

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an-au-blog · 5 months

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hello again!!

i'm quietly dying to know if u!buggy is present when robin translates the skypeian poneglyph & the note roger asked oden to leave on it. just. an amnesiac clown staring at this giant rock, too busy silently screaming what does it meeeean to hear robin explaining what it means. cracks me up.

(i also love the thought of there being a pattern of older locals recognizing buggy just a moment too late as 'one of the kids from back then'. i love a running gag that doubles as foreshadowing! though crocus would surely recognize buggy on sight, i bet he assumes buggy's being cryptic on purpose when he "pretends" not to know him, and goes along with it.)

i'd misremembered that conversation at shakky's bar as having only a handful of the strawhats present, and so was imagining that buggy had no idea they'd gotten a lead on his past, and rayleigh would only see buggy on the kizaru-kuma-strawhat battlefield for a minute before he gets kuma'd away… on one hand, i still love this idea bc i love pain. otoh that conversation happening with everyone but buggy present feels wrong. and a "don't tell me, i'll find out the truth for myself!" ending to rayleigh and buggy reuniting is so fitting, it's the same argument robin & luffy make to rayleigh in that scene!

i looove the thought of buggy losing track of luffy after marineford. what a situation he's in now!! surrounded by dozens of ex-prisoners who idolize him, maybe two he gets along with, a half-dozen he's terrified of, and shanks. he's heard stories from luffy, but that's luffy! you can't go to him for realism or accuracy!! but... this shanks guy does have a boat... and something about his face is kind of familiar...

how long does it take shanks to realize buggy acting like he doesn't know him isn't an act, i wonder? how many old grudges does shanks halfheartedly apologize for, trying to get buggy to give in and acknowledge him? is one of those apologies the thing that makes something click for buggy? does he freeze up, or immediately snap and shout at shanks bc he's misremembered why buggy was mad at him that time? :3c

xoxo, difan

Hello, Difan!

I thought about that like once when I was thinking about Robin in the u! universe, but then i forgot and never really thought about it again lol. In my mind he comes along somewhere between East Blue and Alabasta, though if anyone wants to adopt this au, I'm fine with whatever interpretation or spin they want to put on it.

Now that you said it, I agree, it would be really fun if the locals recognize him randomly like "yeah, yeah, that was the red-nosed kid! Aw, he was so cute, we gotta live him! Pity he's not with his friend though, hope nothing bad happened to the other one..." And Buggy just going"ifk what you're talking about, you're being weird af" and everyone just assumes the other kid (shanks) died and it's a painful memory so they're all like "Oh, yes of course... our bad... if there's anything we can do to help you tell us, it's been so hard for you, we're so sorry ". Which confuses Buggy even more, but hey, he's getting positive attention, even if it's pity, and he's not going to complain about it.

Buggy meeting Rayleigh in the bar is so dear to me. Idk if it'd be realistic but I feel like he'd be very defensive qt first but then Rayleigh would be "Buggy? Is that you? I barely recognized you, you've grown so much, and become such a strong young man" and then something snaps and he just falls into his arms absolutely sobbing. He doesn't know why, he can't remember him on a conscious level, but they still jave this father/son moment of comfort.

I don't remember if I said this in the last post or if I thought of it now, but him losing Luffy at Marine Ford and clinging to Shanks for protection would be funnier (to me) if he goes by the logic of "Okay, he's scary, the generals are even scared of him, Luffy likes him and he seems fond of Luffy. He looks a bit familiar so idk if he would have some grudge with me if I've wronged him in some way... so I'm just going to use my contact with Luffy as leverage!" So he just starts going "You know Luffy, right? Well I'm in his crew" (which breaks Shanks's heart because... why isn't he in his crew? What did Luffy offer him that Shanks can't?? And why is he jealous of his child protege? Buggy sees he's a little upset by it so he continues "So if- if you're his friend and care for him, you'll take me and my men to safety... and not kill me.......... please."

And he switches from being sad to being so confused like,

Shanks: wdym I'll do it because of Luffy. I'm not helping you because of Luffy,

Buggy absolutely terrified that his one strategy of manipulating his one ticket to freedom has expired:..... wh.. why?

Shanks: I'm gonna help you because we're friends! You're my best friend Buggy!

Buggy: We are? I mean uh, we are.

Shanks assuming he remembers him and being do happy: So you remember me?

Buggy afraid if he says no, Shanks will get mad and leave him: ... yes.

Once in the ship (because the prisoners are so many) everyone sleeps wherever they can. Except for Buggy. Shanks insists on giving him his bed or at least his a place in his room. "We were bunkmates after all" he says but Buggy just smiles and nods hoping he doesn't find out he doesn't actually recognize him. Shanks can feel Buggy is on edge the entire time and he tries asking but Buggy always goes "No, no it's fine, everything's great haha" so he starts testing the waters by asking "hey do you remember *insert thing that never happened* that was so crazy, right?" To which Buggy'll go all "yeaaaah, absolutely haha, very crazy that happened I remember!" And after the third or fourth time Shanks couldn't take it and confronts him about it. Buggy is furious but also devastated because that's it. He's going to kill him now. Maybe even worse. (Keep in mind Buggy has seen how cruel people can be and his time with the straw hats doesn't help him think better of people, because they also keep bumping into horrible people)

He starts scream crying at him, he's already a deadman, what else does he have to lose, might as well let it all out. Meanwhile, Shanks is so confused because he understands absolutely nothing.

#unclenapped au #shuggy #shanks x buggy #one piece shuggy #shuggy au #answers #op

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augustheart · 11 months

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DC Pride 2023 Tribute to Rachel Pollack

This is a transcription of the text that appears at the end of DC Pride, written by a variety of authors in memory of trailblazing writer Rachel Pollack. I've done my best to copy everything exactly as it was written, and I apologize for any errors. It's over 3,000 words, so I'm going to put it under a cut outside of the foreword. The rest of the tributes are in plain text and not italicized except in places where they were by the original authors.

(If you would like a PDF of the following transcription, one is available here.)

“On April 7, 2023, the legendary writer and Tarot expert Rachel Pollack passed at age 77. Her work for DC's Vertigo imprint—including the celebrated Vertigo Tarot deck and a long run on Doom Patrol that was a deep influence on the property's recent HBO Max series—was profoundly meaningful for generations of comics fans. She was a trailblazing trans woman in comics and sci-fi communities that were frequently male-dominated, and her lifelong love of both superheroes in particular and the comics medium in general allowed her to confidently turn their storytelling tropes inside out, truly queering her comics in every sense of the word.

In the months before her passing, the editors of DC Pride were speaking to Rachel about writing a new story for this very issue, and her enthusiasm for the project was boundless, as she planned to return to her themes of the superhero and the secret identity, of the "kink" of costumes, and of the revelatory freedom that she found in these characters. Unfortunately, just as work was set to begin on the script, completing it became impossible for her. In the absence of that last great work, but with gratitude for the incredible stories she did give us, we've opted to turn the pages we reserved for Rachel's story over to her friends, and to the fans whose lives she changed, to share their memories of her.”

—Unspecified Author or Editor

“I met Rachel Pollack in 1985, at a convention, where I was interviewing her about Salvador Dali’s Tarot, and then I met her again a couple of days later at the Milford Science Fiction Writers’ Conference, and we became friends fast. She was smart and funny, she was a brilliant writer, and she was the first person I’d met who knew more than I did about obscure Jewish mythology.

She told me off for writing a line of dialogue. ‘But that’s the only thing in the whole story that’s actually true,’ I told her, and she explained that art truth and reality truth were two very different things. And I knew she was right.

I don’t know how much I learned about writing, but listening to Rachel and Gwyneth Jones and John Clute and Lisa Tuttle and the rest of them, I learned so much about reading, and what I learned would change me as a writer.

Rachel was my friend. I had never met a person who had transitioned before and I had so many questions and, patiently, she answered all of them. She decided I needed to know Roz Kaveney, and Roz and I have been friends for decades now.

In 1988 I was writing Books of Magic and knew I needed a Tarot reading in the comic. Rachel was in London, and I asked her what the reading should be. She took me out to buy a Tarot deck that spoke to me, and I saw what happened when Rachel Pollack walked into a Tarot shop. It was a little like what happened when The Beatles went on Ed Sullivan. And then she gave me a beautiful reading of four cards, which encapsulated the whole of the story I was trying to tell.

She won the Arthur C. Clarke Award in 1989 for Unquenchable Fire, and I read it and suspected Rachel was creating her own school of fiction, her own brand of magical realism.

We argued, gently, about Wanda’s fate in A Game of You, and Rachel did what I wish everyone who had an argument about art would do, which is she took what she wanted to say and put it into a comic. Tom Peyer had asked her to write Doom Patrol after Grant Morrison left, and she did a remarkable job. I loved the delirious joy of her comics, the magic and the sense of fun, in Doom Patrol and in the comics that followed Doom Patrol.

I was thrilled to see Rachel when I moved to Upstate New York, and then I didn’t see her for years. I did that thing where you think you’re in touch with your friend, but really you’re just on social media at the same times. I was stuck out of the country during COVID, and Rachel had cancer. I was thrilled when I returned to hear that she had beaten the cancer, and then I was going to see her and she hadn’t beaten the cancer. A whole new cancer had turned up on the day she had beaten the first one.

I got to see Rachel more in the past few months than I had in the previous few years. She was as funny as ever, as sharp and as wise. I got to know her wife, Zoe, and to appreciate their love. I got to tell her bad Jewish jokes that, I suspect, I’d probably first heard from her. ‘Everywhere I went, people said ‘Look at the schmuck on the camel!’’ Some people die well—not necessarily bravely, necessarily, but gently and wisely and kind. Rachel was going to be one of those. She asked me to come to her funeral, and I said that I would.

Her funeral, several months later, was in the sunshine. It was filled with friends of hers from comics, from fiction, from Tarot, from writing, from teaching, from family, from the world, and Rachel lay above the grave on a wooden plank, wrapped in white winding sheet. We said true things about her, and we were funny and honest and there was so much love, and then we shoveled the earth on her, and cried, and said our goodbyes.

I’ve never met anyone like her. I’m glad she was my friend.”

—Neil Gaiman

“Rachel Pollack and I had the same favorite comic book—why, Doom Patrol, of course—and for a while she was its writer and I was its editor. She followed Grant Morrison, whose name was big and growing even then, and for years it seemed like Grant’s era might totally eclipse hers in memory. But DC released her Doom Patrol omnibus in 2022, and in the process unwrapped the radiation-proof bandages from her work, exposing the piercing and radiant appreciation that so many fans felt for it. On top of that, this year Dennis Culver and Chris Burnham, the creators of the excellent Unstoppable Doom Patrol, paid a moving in-story tribute to Rachel’s cast of broken-but-healing heroes.

I’m glad she got to see the omnibus, and I’m grateful for the chance it gave us to relive her perceptive, ironic, unsettling, and revelatory run. It was known for being strange and surreal, but there was so much more going on. Doom Patrol had been weird before, and funny, but never quite as wise or kindly meant.

A story that I always think of when I think of Rachel featured yours truly. At the end of my time as an editor—I had decided I wanted to write full-time—I called the creators I worked with to let them know I was leaving. Most of them, quite understandably, reacted with some implied variation of ‘What’s going to happen to me?’ It made me start to think I was being horrible and selfish. But when I called Rachel and nervously told her what I had decided, there was a silence, and then she said, ‘Quitting is good for the soul.’”

—Tom Peyer

“I met Rachel Pollack in the late ‘90s at WisCon, the feminist science fiction convention where we were both guests. It was the first day of the con, and they were introducing all the guests. I had read Rachel’s Doom Patrol comics and at least one of her books, Unquenchable Fire, and was excited about meeting her. She must have felt the same about me, because when the introductions were over, we headed straight toward each other as though we’d been magnetized, and we became friends immediately.

We lived on opposite sides of the continent, so we didn’t get to see each other that often, but thank the Goddess for email. I visited Rachel’s house once and she visited mine once. Her house was nicer. She took me to visit Hyde Park, Franklin Roosevelt’s old home, now a historic site—we were both FDR fans—and I taught her a Yiddish World War II song. We were both into our Jewishness, but from different angles. Rachel was interested in the mystic side, and I was into Yiddishkeit. Rachel had a bat mitzvah, and I studied Yiddish.

Rachel and I discovered we had the same birthday—August 17, which we shared with Mae West and Davy Crockett. So we sent each other birthday cards that also included happy birthday wishes to Mae and Davy.

I knew Rachel had written many books on the Tarot, so when one day I found a complete set of Tarot cards lying in the street, I decided the Goddess wanted her to have them, and I sent them to her on our birthday. After that, the Goddess would put out Tarot cards for me to find almost every year, often just in time for Rachel’s birthday presents. In return, she sent two Tarot cards that she had drawn for me when I was being treated for cancer. (I’m cancer free now!) I saved them and put them away safely—somewhere.

Last year a neighbor who was a collector of stuff died and left his collections to us, his neighbors, to take for free. Among all the stuff in his stuff-filled rooms was an unopened set of Tarot cards. Shortly after I found the cards, my Romani neighbors who lived around the corner put a book on Tarot out on the street, so I took that for Rachel. I mailed the book and cards to Rachel for our birthday.

For the first time, I got no answering card. I didn’t know that Rachel’s lymphoma had come back.

And somehow, it all got away from me.

Periodically, I would think, ‘Phone her—must phone Rachel,’ but something would come up and I’d forget to phone, or it would be too late to phone because of the time difference between New York and California. Damn it!

I miss you, Rachel. In our next lives, I’ll try to be a better friend.”

—Trina Robbins

“I first met Rachel Pollack when I was the assistant editor on The Sandman and she was the new Doom Patrol monthly writer. I shared an office with Tom Peyer, who was Rachel’s editor, and when Rachel swept in like a redheaded bohemian priestess, I always wound up putting aside my own work so I could chat a bit with Rachel as well. She had the rare gift of wielding her considerable expertise about comics and mythology in a way that made the person talking to her feel smarter.

After I left DC Comics to write full-time, I moved to Rhinebeck and discovered that Rachel lived there, too. We formed a small writing group that met once a week, usually in my kitchen. Always as kind as she was insightful, Rachel spent more time celebrating what worked than critiquing what didn’t. She did a lot of celebrating, of others’ writing and of her own, delighting in the words and worlds that moved through her.

She was, pre-pandemic, a frequent guest at my Passover Seder, the only person besides myself and my mother who knew all the Hebrew and all the traditional melodies. Her vast knowledge of midrash and Kabbalah made her comments more delicious than the charoset she made, and let me tell you, that was pretty damn good.

In October, when she started to get really sick and I started to visit more frequently, often with Neil Gaiman, Rachel defied any expectation of how a dying person ought to act. She cracked Borscht Belt jokes and talked about writing and writers, and then I went with her wife, Zoe, to pick out a grave. We discussed the Tarot, which I had belatedly begun to study along with her seminal book on the subject, Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom. I asked, ‘What does it mean when you get an auspicious card in a place that means it’s negative?’ ‘It means that’s what you’re struggling with,’ she replied.

I am struggling with this turn of the cards. I cannot fully fathom that she will not be sitting at our favorite local café, writing, but ready to put down her antique fountain when she sees me. Yet when I turn back to her writing, I feel her still with me: Doom Patrol Rachel, Writing Partner Rachel, Rachel of the Passover Seder, Rachel Poet, Rachel Priestess, Rachel Friend.”

—Alisa Kwitney

“Rachel Pollack loved comics.

When we first talked about comics, it was about her own. Eight years ago I asked Martha Thomases if the Doom Patrol run after Grant’s was worth checking out, as I hadn’t heard much talk of it. She said ‘Yes. Read it.’ I adored the run and reached out to Rachel via email to let her know. To my surprise, I heard back from her within 20 minutes.

Over time we talked about the comics and creators that she loved. Carl Barks and the Duck comics, particularly the characters of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, meant a great deal to her. Little Lulu was high on her list. And The Fox and the Crow inspired a whole arc of her Doom Patrol run. The works of Jack Kirby (particularly on Fantastic Four and the Fourth World saga), Steve Ditko, and Gene Colan were brought up often, as were series including Xambi and Promethea, which she revisited often. She had even reached out to Marvel back in the early ‘70s inquiring about writing opportunities, two decades before writing at DC.

Rachel saw the inherent queerness in superhero comics back in the Silver Age. One example she would reference was “The Town That Hated Superboy!” from 1967’s Superboy #139. In it, the citizens of Smallville turn against Superboy for nearly two pages. What stood out to Rachel was how Ma and Pa Kent pretended to hate Superboy out of fear that if they didn’t, those around them might suspect that Superboy was really their adoptive son, Clark. Though taking this sequence and relating it to an idea as heavy as the violent consequences of inadvertently outing someone by simply treating them with kindness was unlikely Otto Binder’s intention, the subtext was picked up on by many queer comics readers at the time in addition to Rachel.

Through the years I got to have a greater understanding of Rachel’s unbelievable kindness as well. She saw the world as a positive place and held out hope for just about everyone. Rachel discussed how attitudes with London’s Gay Liberation Front turned against the trans community in the ‘70s, but she would also talk about how some of the same people came back around and were vocal advocates for trans rights by the ‘90s. Whereas most, understandably, would allow themselves to be bitter and resentful, Rachel’s capacity for love and compassion was too strong for that.

I was devastated knowing just how many projects Rachel had in the works and how many stories she still had to tell. But after taking time to think on it, I know that no matter how long she stayed here with us, her work would never be done. Her stories will continue through those who love her and those who haven’t found her yet but will love her just the same.

I love talking about Rachel’s work and her kindness. I plan on doing so for the rest of my life.”

—Joe Corallo

“‘It’s so cool that you created the first trans superhero,’ a very nice person told me recently. Writing feels like stuffing a message in a bottle and lobbing it out into the open sea, so to meet someone who had caught one of my bottles and read what was inside was extremely exciting. Unfortunately, I am a nerd first and a lover of accolades second, so I had to correct them.

Galaxy, the character I created, is not the first out trans superhero in the DC Universe. Kate Godwin, created by Rachel Pollack 30 years ago, is. Kate is important, but more than that, she’s important to me.

I was a teenager 30 years ago. That’s also important.

There’s a lot of talk of firsts in superhero comics, most of it meaningless. Dick Grayson absolutely deserves the ‘Sensational Character Find of 1940’ label trumpeted on the cover of his first appearance, Detective Comics #38, but you don’t need to read it, even as a die-hard Robin fan.

You can’t say that about Doom Patrol #70, the first appearance of Kate Godwin. That issue changes everything. That issue changes lives. Because Kate, a kind and funny woman, with an amusing power set and questionable taste in superhero outfits, who is beautifully, unapologetically trans—Kate is the viewpoint character.

Imagine the power of that. Holding up a trans woman—a lesbian trans woman, at that!—and saying ‘This, this is who you, the reader, should identify with.’ To have a trans woman be smart and pretty and likable, and not an object of scorn or pity, or a side character. She was the hero! I can tell you from experience, that is a tough sell now.

Reading that comic in the 1990s felt like a lightning bolt from heaven.

It was too powerful for my teenage self to handle. It was radioactive, and yet I would read my copy ragged to bask in its glow. I can call up its panels from memory. When I finally began my transition, many years later, I wore a lot of black tank tops and jeans, unconsciously aping Kate’s unofficial uniform. I didn’t put it together until recently, rereading those 30-year-old stories that I had imprinted upon like a baby bird. Early on, I wasn’t sure of the kind of woman I was, but clearly I knew the kind of woman I wanted people to see. Someone like Kate Godwin.

I never got the chance to meet Rachel Pollack and tell her how I had received her message in a bottle. How I had held it close to my heart until I finally found the strength to absorb its message. How she showed me I wasn’t alone, and I could be a hero, even if that just meant saving myself.

But I hear people say those words to me, having read about Galaxy. Which will have to do.

Thank you for being first, Rachel.”

—Jadzia Axelrod

#rachel pollack #i cannot stress enough how much i want people to read this #doom patrol #dc pride

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antisepticcrayon · 1 year

Text

Posting here too! Just so I can give a longer explanation a bit for the few pieces I've been able to scramble for Sean.

Now I'm not the best at drawing people so it's very rare that I get to try to draw fanart for Sean and the community but I'll share the few I've been able to do!

Starting with the spring banner I made for Sean's server! Has to be one of my favorites becos I loved how it turned out and the fact that I somehow won the banner contest. It's always such a funny shock to go onto the server and see my art there. I've never been so proud of an accomplishment like that.

Next up is the Chase brody youtooz plush concept. Now I did this for kicks and giggles (/hj. Please Sean. We need sad dad plushies.) But it was pretty funny that that reference sheet got way more attention than I thought. And at the time of iris being fairly new was also so funny to me. He looks so sad. I need 17 of them.

King of the daisies portrait! My one piece of fanart that got the most recognition from the community! I spent a grueling 5-6 hours on this piece. It was during a time of art block so I wanted to try drawing realism for a month (didn't go exactly a month but I tried!) And this was my second attempt of the month and it came out so well. I absolutely adore it. And the inspiration came from when Sean announced that white daisies were his favorite flowers. So of course to honor the flow3r king, I did that for him. (Also another reason the banner, he's wearing a daisy crown!)

And finally the anti portrait. This one I made at work actually right before I was contacted for winning a meet and greet ticket to face time Sean through moment house. And to calm my nerves for the next couple days, I worked on this piece. (I referenced an art piece done by turquoise magpie I believe for this one!) But also another part of my month realism challenge!

The 2 realistic portraits hold a special place in my heart. Becos even through the horrendous wifi (and my uncontrollable anxiety) and cutting out during my meet and greet, I had the chance to show him them. I just didn't get to hear or see his reactions properly but the fact I showed him at all for him to see was more than enough.

Annnd then these last art pieces (I'm frankly TERRIFIED of showing. Unsure if it counts as fanart buttt)

These first 2 photos are reference pieces for my "JJ" inspired OC/Fursona. He is considered my comfort character who I tend to draw and doodle whenever I'm feeling down or having a bad day. Jameson (and chase) are my favorite egos and I find comfort in them. Not sure why, but I do. I feel like they just came at times I was struggling the most and brought joy to me though. Just Sean in general has done as such.

And the last photo is a book cover I created for a short story I'm writing with my self insert OC and chase Brody (along with the other egos).

The short story takes part of a community I'm in that surrounds giant/smalls/humans folklore and certain cultures surrounding a time of creatures big and small, Aka G/T! Think of any fairy tales like jack and beanstalk or even japenese animes like the secret world of ariety or movies and books like "The borrowers". (Another comfort for me. I find writing helpful as well for bad days and to also center and express myself again)

Anyways one of my favorite human pieces I've ever completed on my own through lots of practice and failed sketches (my good friend zora rendered and shaded it for me! Actual drawing, linework and coloring done by me!)

Anyways, I hope I'm not overstaying my welcome so I'll cut it off here!

I thank you both for doing this revival! I was never able to participate truely with "septicart" but I'm glad I can right now through this :)

Thanks for reading!

- Dj💜

(I apologize if my wording is wacky! ADHD and dyslexia isn't a fun combination when trying to write and explain things ack)

@turquoisemagpie @rogue-of-broken-time

#SepticartRevival2023 #septicart #jacksepticeye fanart #jacksepticeye

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