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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

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BSD x university au hc’s | pt. 2

part 2 of the university au hc’s !! i am obviously a slut for chuuya and fyodor so don’t mind me. i hope you guys like this !!

check out pt. 1 here

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Akutagawa Ryuunosuke:

i love akutagawa ryuunosuke my angst child but i’m just like ‘hmmmmmmm’ when it comes to what his course would probably be

after extensive research aka reading his character page on wiki i feel like maybe he’d be a history major because,,,, he likes antiques?

well his clothes do seem very dark academia-esque and i can see him liking something as cool as history

akutagawa’s probably into something like war history but he’s not weird about it he just finds it really cool how different strategies work or analyzing what exactly makes the winners win

he absolutely HATES the fact that he keeps having to read the Iliad for class

he’s also that classmate who INTENSIVELY DEFENDS achilles for being a bit of a little bitch (but he fully agrees that patroclus and achilles were gay af ok this was random moving on)

akutagawa has practically no social life. he doesn’t go to parties, he doesn’t talk to his roommate, he doesn’t even like to eat in the dining hall

BUT he absolutely loves being in debate team because WINNING

he’s such a nightmare to work with though but he just delivers so well when it’s time for him to speak. like, if he’s on a negative and it’s time to hash out rebuttals, just prepare to get MURDERED

other debaters: “esteemed scholars and adjudicators...”

akutagawa: “you, sir, have no idea how wrong you are.”

that is until dazai decided to randomly show up at a debate tournament all ‘la di da da’ like and completely crushed akutagawa along with his ego

from then on he started stalking dazai and just SOMEHOW managed to end up in his circle of friends

even though he’s antisocial in real life, akutagawa 100% runs a dark academia aesthetic blog on tumblr i’m right and i don’t accept criticism

it’s actually really good he has a ton of followers and even does requests for moodboards if someone asks nicely

atsushi was the one who actually found out about it but he’s nice so he didn’t tell akutagawa about it

kunikida probably follows that blog

Chuuya Nakahara:

if this part sounds like i’m just thirsting for chuuya then you’re absolutely right i love wine man

don’t get mad at me but i can ABSOLUTELY SEE HIM MAJORING IN FASHION DESIGN I MEAN LOOK AT HIM

he’s just always had such a good eye for fashion and he’s veryyy meticulous when it comes to snipping and putting together clothes

chuuya also carries a sketchbook full of designs and his drawings look amazing and he isn’t afraid to just show them off

that said he doesn’t dress like a tired uni student at all, like he just always looks so on-point and unbothered by his five million deadlines

dazai: chuuya, i said this was a CASUAL LUNCH

chuuya, dressed in what looks like silk pajamas: THIS IS CASUAL

tbh if he just wore a white t-shirt and jeans i would die maybe he’s actually saving us from this ordeal

he has so much talent though as a designer he’s probably had several internships with design companies all throughout his years at uni

i feel like chuuya’s also really active in extracurriculars and has been in leadership positions in some of them (he probably runs the student org for fashion design)

chuuya in a student band though oh my gosh i can’t breathe i can’t breathe him as a VOCALIST?? and wearing torn jeans and eyeliner and that same hat in concerts ican’t brEATHE

okay in all honesty he would thrive being in a band chuuya loves the attention and the creativity of being able to design their whole look and write songs

tbh i don’t know if he’d have a roommate chuuya’s probably the type who’d rather have one of those single rooms or just rent a flat for him to stay in even after graduation

because his social life is super vibrant, he does have a lot of friends and he does make an effort to get to know all of them individually

but he’s more open around those who he’s been friends with for a really long time and as much as he’d like to say dazai isn’t one of them, he is

also chuuya is definitely the type to party hard during the weekends and has more than once crashed in someone’s house after drinking too much (dazai drew on his face on more than one occasion)

Oda Sakunosuke:

i love this man SO MUCH you guys have no idea i would literally die for him

100% this guy majors in creative writing because this is supported by FACTS and not just me wanting to be coursemates with him in this fictional world

super serious and diligent with his work especially since he’s passionate about writing. he loves to read in his spare time and is such a fan of classic novels about social realism or philosophy

oda spends 99% of his time in second-hand bookshops that the owner probably knows him by name at this point

he’s super old school when it comes to writing though, like he still keeps and writes in a notebook before typing it up on a laptop and no matter how many times dazai tells him its impractical, oda just keeps doing it

lmao whenever workshops come around he’s super nice with his critique. i bet a lot of his fellow classmates like sending their writing drafts to him

he draws smiley faces and always adds ‘nice work’ on people’s drafts omg i love odasaku

he’s such an old soul, he probably doesn’t do a whole lot of partying but he likes more quiet, private social events like drinking with close friends or just hanging out and talking at other people’s houses

he and dazai probably met when dazai decided to take an intro to creative writing class and wrote a long poem about double suicide on his first day that kind of put off everyone in the class from wanting to sit with him

odasaku was the only one who wasn’t exactly bothered but he did give dazai some comments to help him with his poetry and dazai instantly wanted to be his friend

in terms of extracurricular life, i can definitely see odasaku joining a writing organization and even the campus newspaper. he does find joy in interviewing students for newspaper articles

he’s also pretty into photography and uses a really old, second-hand camera that he bought at an antique store and fixed himself. at one point he won a prize in a contest

odasaku would be the best roommate. he’s super sensitive to when you have a bad day and will invite you to sit on his bed and hug his pillow and talk about your problems

scratch that, everyone talks to odasaku about their problems and now your room is like a therapist’s office

Edgar Allan Poe:

i swear this was the only gif i could find other than actual edgar allan poe

ANOTHER CREATIVE WRITING BUDDY AHHH I WOULD LOVE TO BE BESTIES WITH HIM AHHH

well actually i feel like since he’s super ambitious and already has a fixed idea on the stuff he likes to write, he’d probably double major in something like forensic science because he’d use it to write his mystery novels

omg that’s where he meets ranpo and now pretty much every main character poe writes is slightly based on on ranpo

it’s a problem. his professor brings it up more than once during his classes but it’s poe’s Thing now

he also has such an unending passion for gothic literature and he wears those white, long-sleeved blouses and waistcoats on a REGULAR BASIS

chuuya probably saw him once and was like ‘hmm, i could pull that off’

poe’s daily route is just going to the library and to class and then go home and that’s about it

he ended up working as a student assistant at the library because he’s just super familiar with the book collections and it’s a job that’s peaceful and quiet

more than once though, he’d just be really in-deep with his writing to the point that he doesn’t even notice that the library has closed or that he hasn’t eaten the entire day

that’s alright though because ranpo always passes by the library at night to check on his friend and (reluctantly) give him some snacks

also since poe’s pretty much a recluse, he doesn’t go to any social event UNLESS it’s a halloween-themed one

he loves going all out with his costumes because he’s a Drama Queen like that but the problem is he keeps dressing up as gothic novel characters and nobody gets it

dazai, trying to guess his costume: umm,, Two-Face from Batman?

poe: IT’S DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE

there was this one time when poe took it upon himself to host the halloween party and it was EPIC

he basically designed it as a murder mystery night wherein everyone who came pretended to be guests at a house and then a murder happened

the only problem was that ranpo was conspiring with poe and it was pretty much unfair

except for the fact that ranpo was frustrated at how bad everyone was at deducing that he ended up solving the mystery for them

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

one of my favorite scenes of him in s3 was of fyodor playing the cello because god damn that is beautiful and therefore i am hc-ing him as a music major and you can’t tell me otherwise

fyodor is an absolute music genius and he was definitely scouted by the university’s music program and then he was granted a scholarship (because in this ideal university, the arts are valued)

he purposely decided to go to a university rather than a music conservatory because he’s also interested in learning a bunch of other things

aside from his music classes, he ventures into comparative literature and philosophy, even a bit of computer science at some point

people always assume that since he’s a music major he probably wouldn’t do well in other subjects but SURPRISE BITCH

anyway, fyodor’s a genius because god clearly has favorites

aside from attending class, he’s even part of an official orchestra and has even landed a few solos

that said, he’s quite busy and very preoccupied in his own work to actually have a social life either

you’ll often find him rehearsing by himself in an empty classroom for hours and hours on end (someone pls bring him food he’s also the type to forget to eat or even drink water)

if you are able to catch him perform at an orchestra or just practice by himself, it’s quite a mesmerizing sight. his eyes are often closed so he could focus on the sound alone and his fingers move so elegantly along the neck of the cello

(sorry i just love people who play any form of stringed instrument)

fyodor also takes such good care of his cello. also he would probably kill you on the spot if you touched his bow

he has a fairly small group of friends and they like playing chess together (even though fyodor is better than all of them) and just talk about um,, idk philosophy and stuff (whatever it is smart people do idk i’m not one of them)

i have a feeling he actually follows akutagawa’s dark academia blog and loves his content, even to the point of requesting ‘cello player moodboards’

also because he’s a cello player he needs to take care of his fingers so he wears gloves a lot (idk why i find this hot)

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taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd writing #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs writing #bungou stray dogs headcanons #akutagawa ryuunosuke #chuuya nakahara #oda sakunosuke #edgar allan poe #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs university au #bsd uni au #bungou stray dogs scenarios #bsd scenarios

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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What I Thought About "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" from Marvel Studios' What If...

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Back when Marvel Studios announced the new lineup of films and shows, I was admittingly underwhelmed. Nothing we've seen so far has been poorly written, far from it, but during the announcement, nothing really popped out at me as worth getting excited for. That is, except for one series: Marvel Studios' What If... An animated series that changes the canon of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, all through the simple question. The question being, "What if this happened instead of that."

From the get-go, I was sold on this idea. I'm a sucker for hypothetical scenarios, thinking up all the ways of how some of my favorite stories in fiction could be drastically different thanks to one tiny change. Some might call that "Fanfiction the Series," and while you're not wrong, I fail to see how that's a criticism. Because fanfiction can be fun...just as long as you ignore the sick freaks, sure, but it still can be fun! So whether Marvel Studio's What If... is fanfiction or not, it still didn't change how excited I was to watch it. Was it all worth the hype? Well, to answer that question requires spoilers, so keep that in mind as we dive deep into Marvel's most ambitious project yet.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

The Watcher: Gonna get the generals out of the way before I talk about what I specifically like about this episode. Ok? Ok.

Now, using the Watcher as the narrator for this series is just perfect. What If... already has a similar energy to The Twilight Zone: An anthology series that takes viewers to new and mysterious realities all through the guidance of an omniscient narrator. And using the Watcher as that type of narrator might just be the second-best choice...number one would be Stan Lee, obviously, but...he's dead now. May he rest in peace.

I haven't read that many comics, so there's not much that I know about the Watcher's character aside from a ten-second Google search. But something tells me that a character described as a celestial being that observes and records the events surrounding the galaxy sounds like the exact type of omniscience to guide us through the unknown. All added with Jeffrey Wright's performance, who really does convey a character that sounds like he's as old as time and wise beyond his years. Plus, it's pretty cool that such a seemingly odd character now technically plays a major role in the MCU canon. Comics are weird, and if the Watcher proves anything, it's better to embrace that weirdness than deny it.

The Animation: Looks like someone watched Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse.

That really is the feeling I got when watching this. What If... doesn't look as good as Spiderverse (Nothing can be as good as Spiderverse), but the idea is still there as it combines primarily CGI animation with a few hand-drawn elements. It makes certain scenes just pop and, at times, even makes specific shots look like they're straight from panels in a comic book. Besides, while Spiderverse still looks better, that doesn't mean the animation isn't phenomenal in What If... The scenery looks gorgeous, the CGI models moderately match their live-action counterparts, the expressions are fantastic, and movements are as smooth as butter. There was definitely some money that went into this series to make it look as good as it did, and my eyeballs were more than grateful because of it. Especially when it comes to--

The Action: Holy s**t, was it a good thing that this series was animated!

The MCU has had its fair share of great fight scenes in the past, but it always felt restricted to what the big superhero fights could be due to everything needing to look "realistic." That all changes in What If... Because now that this series is animated, we can finally chuck realism out the window and allow these characters to be as epic as they were in the comics. The movements are swift, the blows look like they hurt, and best of all, you actually get to see characters fighting each other! There are no random cuts to hide the stunt doubles or weird camera angles to avoid audiences seeing how ugly the CGIed replacements are. We get to see all of the action with zero restraint, thanks to the fact that animation is limitless and allows writers to get away with literally anything. And shows like this make me wonder, "Why the hell isn't the MCU animated?"

Peggy as Captain Carter: It's here that we get into the specifics, and by golly, do I love me some Peggy Carter making a return. And what a return she made!

Seeing Peggy kick Nazi ass as Captain Carter is as awesome as it sounds as she gives a new definition of a "Strong, independent woman." She took s**t from no one and was more than willing to destroy anybody who said differently. It's a ton of fun for fans (the ones who aren't sexist, at least) and even fun for Peggy as well now that she gets a chance to wreck shop. However, that in itself could cause problems. If you watched Agent Carter (a great show, by the way), then you'll know that Peggy doesn't act as...somewhat meatheaded as she does here. As she said it herself, she's "usually more covert than this." And she is, as she was pretty much the first superspy in the MCU, who's impressive through how she effortlessly infiltrates her way to winning the day with diminutive requirements for fighting. So stripping that away gets rid of a core part of what makes her character so interesting. Although, in fairness, you could blame the fact that the reason she's acting like this is that the super-soldier serum is messing with her brain a bit. We've seen through U.S. Agent the reciprocations of the wrong person taking the serum, and while Peggy is far from the worst pick, there are hints of why Steve Rodgers was the best choice. Still, even though it's not the same Peggy Carter, that doesn't mean Captain Carter is a poor addition to the hero roster in the MCU. She's cool in all the right ways, even though they're drastically different from what made her compelling, to begin with.

Howard Stark: Another character I'm more than happy to see again!

Howard didn't leave that much of a grand of an impression in Captain America: The First Avenger, but in Agent Carter (Seriously, great show), he was a blast. You can just tell he was Tony Stark's father through all the ways he fast-talks in and out of problems and brilliantly comes up with solutions thanks to being tech-savvy. The main difference between Howard and Tony, however, is that Howard prefers to stay on the sidelines, where Tony learned to be more proactive. You get a sense of that in this episode. Because even though he goes to save the day, you can tell that he would rather be anywhere else. And, as a bonus, Howard's just funny. Probably not up there as one of the funniest characters in the franchise (Paul Rudd's Ant-Man reigns supreme), but he still cracks me up more times than not. Howard may be nothing more than a side character, but he'll always win me over no matter how small of a role he has.

Steve Rodgers in the Hydra Stomper: Don't mind me. Just admiring the fact that despite being crippled and skinny, Steve Rodgers still finds a way to fight the good fight, which is who Steve is to me. One of the best things about The First Avenger is that it fully understands the hero that is Captain America. Serum or not, he will do all he can to do the right thing and won't give up despite how many times others tell him he should. So if Steve's going to fly around in a suped-up Iron Man suit that's appropriately named "The Hydra Stomper," then Steve'll f**king soar. Because he is a gosh dang superhero, no matter what name he takes at the end of the day.

Fast-Forwarding Through Events: Some fans might take issues with this. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see all the little changes that Captain Carter makes to the story, but realistically that's not the best choice to make. Let's be honest, there's not that much to show other than what this episode did, and doing a full-on rewrite of Captain America: The First Avenger would have rubbed some fans the wrong way. Besides, from what I can tell, most of the What If... comics are one-shots that very rarely branch out into longer arcs. The primary goal is less to write this large-scale story and more of this self-contained narrative that does what it precisely delivers: Show fans a glimpse of what would happen if this happened instead of that. That's what we were given, and I can't really complain that much. I would have loved to have seen more, but I can learn to be happy with what I got.

Colonel Flynn Taking Credit: This guy is sexist and an idiot, and that's why I hate him...but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't at least chuckle when he said everything was his idea. It's such a scumbag move that I couldn't help but find the humor in it.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING !)nd Steve falling in love inThe First Avenger, which certainly wasn't helped by how they had these dumbass misunderstandings of each thinking the other was dating someone else. Here, they at least get to interact, confiding in one another about their insecurities and offer support when needed. And while it may be a little rushed, I'm more willing to believe their romance in under thirty minutes than I did in over two hours. It could have been better, but it also could have been much, much worse.

(Like, what even was that scene where Peggy was pissed at Steve kissing a girl. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DATING AT THE TIME!)

“I won’t tell you anything.”/”He told me everything.”: That's the Peggy Carter I know and love! Added with a solid joke, too.

Steve’s Pratfall: It's nice to know that no matter what universe we see, Marvel is still funny.

Peggy’s Sacrifice: Much like Peggy and Steve's romance, I buy Peggy's sacrifice way more than Steve's. Several fans already pointed out how it makes no sense for Steve to crash the plane into the icy waters when it seemed like he had enough control to land it or could have easily jumped out after aiming for the crash landing. Here, there's a more legitimate reason why Peggy sacrifices herself. The monster was undefeatable, and the only way to stop it was to push it back through the portal. Peggy, being the only one strong enough to do so at the moment, was the only option, and there was no way where she didn't end up going through with the monster. Even her return makes more sense, as I think her being lost to time and space sounds more believable than Steve surviving being frozen in ice. Something no mortal man should live through. Peggy's sacrifice proves that while the MCU can't change its cannon past, the writers learn from their mistakes and make something better.

WHAT I DISLIKED

The Reasoning Behind Peggy Becoming Captain Carter: So, the idea that one small change can greatly alter the story we knew is a great one, and it's one of the main reasons why I was excited about this series...but how does Peggy staying in the room cause the Hydra agent to detonate the bomb early? I understand the ripples that come from the Butterfly Effect, but I feel like that's too big of a leap to reason how Peggy ends up taking the serum instead.

Colonel Flynn: How is it possible that this guy is somehow even more of a pain in the ass than the general he replaced? At least Chester Phillips had the decency to respect Agent Carter!

Red Skull is Still on the Dull Side: Red Skull isn't an awful villain, but he wasn't really a great one. It's the same here, as he's just as forgettable and wooden an episode of television as he was in a full-length movie. But at least he had a cooler death this time.

Sebastian Stan is Not a Great Voice Actor: He's not awful, but his talent really doesn't shine in this regard. Some people think that being an actor and a voice actor is the same thing, but it's not always the case. Through live-action, actors are given a chance to express emotion through their expressions, movement, and voice. With voice acting, actors still have to convey emotions, but strictly through their voice. Meaning that actors like Sebastian Stan are limited to what they're used to and can stumble a bit when trying to perform in a field of acting they're unfamiliar with. You can tell he was trying his best, but this type of thing can take far more practice for others to perfect.

“Whew. Thanks. You almost ripped my arm off.”: ...hhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHA! HA HA! Ah...oh man...I, uh...I felt the internal bleeding with that one. Wow. Just...wow.

Bucky Leaving After Steve “Died”: Ok, now that's the biggest bout of bulls**t I've ever heard. BUCKY WOULD BE WITH STEVE 'TILL THE END OF THE LINE AND WOULD NOT HAVE LEFT THAT QUICKLY!

...This episode did Bucky dirty, didn't it?

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "What If...Captain Carter was the First Avenger" is an A-. It's still a solid start of what I can already tell will be a great series, but some elements could have used some polishing out. I loved it, but it wasn't as bloody brilliant as it could have been.

(And I meant it: WATCH AGENT CARTER! It's pleasantly surprising!)

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu reviews #marvel studios what if #peggy carter #captain carter #steve rodgers #hydra stomper #howard stark #bucky barnes #what i thought about #what if reviews

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spytap · 4 years

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That Time I Maybe Accidentally Slid Between Universes On The Lower East Side: A Modern Pizza Brigadoon

Okay, we’re trying this again. With the words. Let’s give it a shot.

I was telling this story over the weekend, and it struck me that it’s something I’ve never really written down. But I think it’s worth documenting - you know, for science.

I guess I have to preface this by saying that I’m not the type of person to accept the unexplainable. In the Mulder/Scully matrix of assumptions, I lean much more Scully, assuming that most things have a reasonable explanation once more data is uncovered or known. I say that just so that I can say that one time while on a business trip to New York, I’m pretty sure I drunkenly dropped back and forth between parallel universes Sliders-style while trying to grab a slice.

Right, so let’s set the stage of our merry little fever dream of a play, shall we?

It’s 1:30am and I am drunk.

Wait, let’s be clear: I’m not just “I’m in New York and let’s have some fun” drunk, I’m “we’re at a digital media event and it’s the late oughts” drunk. I think it was the Webbies, but who knows. It could have been social media week or any number of other things. But if you were in the DM scene at the time, you remember (or not…) that any event which brought together the weird crossover between tech, social media, and nascent web video had, at its intersection, going hard in the motherfucking paint, if you get my drift.

The late oughts were where SXSW got its reputation as an epic and riotous shitshow where long term memories went to die. Companies lived and died by the parties they threw way out in the wasteland that was “anywhere off of sixth street.” It set the scene for an arms race of irresponsibility that wouldn’t peter out until about 2012. And New York, being much larger than Austin and with a scrappy underdog of a tech industry, had a reputation to uphold.

So that’s how I find myself at my third after party, in a bar called (I think?) Ford’s, on the lower east side, surrounded by the technorati, glitterati, and all other manner of descriptive terms for young, pretty, newly and soon-to-be rich people, before we discovered that they were called “influencers.”

This bar is a proper dive. Not quite “you could destroy everything in here and you’d be out like fifteen bucks” but still well into “you’re gonna need more than a new paint job once the artisan cheese shops roll into this neighborhood.” Put in 2009 money, we were still getting five dollar beers in Manhattan, so do with that what you will.

Back to the story: right around 1:30AM, I’m thinking three things: 1) I would very much like to slam an inordinate amount of pizza into my mouth, 2) I probably need to use the restroom before I do so, and 3) The four or five people I’m with are probably feeling the same way. So I check in with my crew, tell them I’m gonna hit the head and then we’re gonna hit some pizza. First things first though: I gotta get some crucial info from the bartender.

I saunter up to the bar and ask where I can get a slice. The sole bartender, a man who is both younger and exponentially cooler than me, tells me “New York’s best pizza is two blocks up and one left.”

“New York’s best?” I clarify, because wouldn’t that be a coincidence?

“Yep, New York’s best pizza. Two blocks up, one left.”

Well, I know that everyone thinks they know the best pizza in town, but this dude looks like he’s a perpetual trend setter, so it feels like it has a higher-than-average likelihood of relative goodness. Besides, I’ve assaulted my sense well past the realm of good taste, so as long as it’s not cooked on a literal garbage can, it should serve it’s purpose. I pop the directions into the old memory banks, and wander off through the broken door that indicates relief (and, in retrospect, possibly tetanus.)

True to its dive bar requirements, this restroom is super classy you guys. Just above the pee trough (like an actual six foot long trough that horses would drink out of) (in other circumstances) there’s a mirror where someone has carved “Smoke Beer” - a particular exercise that I contemplate for far too long. Is this a flavor profile of some cheeky new porter? Are they suggesting you replace your bong water with Budweiser? Or is this an actual “get a beaker and some burners and let’s get high in the science lab” situation?

Regardless, my attention turns back to the core mission: Operation Pizza Face Hole Intersection. So I push away the culinary suggestion, zip up, and return to the main room to find…no one.

I don’t mean my friends were gone. I mean that when I left to pee, there was somewhere between 150 and 200 people in this bar, and now there were two. And I was one of them. The other one is a bartender, but very crucially, not the bartender I was just speaking to one or two or five hundred billion minutes ago. This is a new bartender. He’s older. And has a beard. This is very distinctly a different person, but I’m still hung up on the reality that there is no one else in this bar except for him and me.

I look at this new bartender. He looks at me. I look around to see if maybe my friends are hiding behind something, but this place doesn’t even have tables, let alone hiding spaces. I look back. He’s still looking at me. So I do the only logical thing to do in this scenario: I run away.

Outside, I pull out my blackberry (shut up) and call my friends. Voicemail. Every one. No one picks up. I text them “where the fuck are you assholes” but drunkenly, on a keyboard the size of a postage stamp, so they don’t write back, even to clarify whether I just had a stroke.

Something has definitely gone horribly wrong. I am very drunk in a strange part of a strange city. Everyone I know and several dozen complete strangers have been Thanos-snapped into the ether of the universe. I am alone and have no real understanding of how to get home from here. But, you know, I also still really want pizza. So I do the only thing that truly makes sense in this scenario: I start walking towards pizza.

One block up, things start getting weird(er). Now weird in nighttime Manhattan isn’t quite as weird as it used to be, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Venice Beach, so my weird meter is a little skewed compared to most people. But it’s as-near-as-matters-2am now and the streets of the lower east side are deserted, except for…

Look, there’s no way to say this without sounding like I’m writing a David Lynch spec, so I’m just gonna say it and you’re gonna have to trust me here.

Directly in front of me there is a group of a dozen or so seven to ten year old girls playing double dutch in the middle of the street. A totally normal sight at 2pm - less so at 2am. There are no adults here. Or anywhere. Except me. And right as I notice them, they notice me. They don’t stop their monotone chanting, they just continue to do so while swiveling their heads to follow me like a leopard follows a [whatever leopards eat - I’m not looking it up on Wikipedia right now.]

So once again: empty streets in the LES, except for me and a gaggle of girls wielding a pair of twin jump ropes. And chanting. I briefly wonder if they’re okay and why they’re out here all along performing what’s starting to sound more and more like some pagan ritual before I keep fucking walking because there’s no scenario in which any good comes from me stopping and hanging around. But I start thinking that I need a witness here.

The blessing of living in California and spending a lot of time in New York is actually time. More specifically, that you can call your girlfriend at what’s almost your 2AM and she’ll still be up and wondering what the absolute fuck you’re talking about when you open with “I hope I didn’t wake you but everyone disappeared and I’m kind of scared because there’s this creepy group of girls playing double dutch but I think it’s going to be alright because I’m walking to get pizza.”

We’d been together for a while at that point, so thankfully I’d build up a reservoir of good graces to pull from in moments like these.

Witness achieved, I told her precisely (ish) where I was, so the police could find my body, and continued my Epic Pizza Quest. Two blocks up, and one block left, where I found…

New York’s Best Pizza. That’s the goddamned name. Motherfucking hipster bartenders.

It’s open, for some reason, and empty for good reason, but after some back and forth that includes “well I don’t have any and I’d have to make a full pizza” and “I understand but I don’t want a full fucking pizza, I just want a slice” I get a couple slices and, for lack of anything better to do, decide to head back to Ford’s.

Now you might be asking yourself, dear reader, why I would march back through a fae revelry towards a crack in the universe, and that’s a very good question. The answer is that I was very drunk at the time.

So back I went.

The children were still there, still playing double dutch. (In my memory of this, they’re doing everything slowly and in a minor key, but it’s likely they were normal speed and tone, and I was just perceiving things slowly for chemical reasons.) My phone comes out again and I subtly (HA) narrate my way through this gauntlet to my girlfriend (and for the police report) and back towards the bar/Tardis.

Which brings us to our climax. See, there’s something even more disconcerting than leaving a restroom to find an erstwhile packed bar with naught but tumbleweeds, and that’s coming back to the deserted bar and finding it full again. Like packed full. Like normal full. Like Digital Media Event after party full. You know, like you remembered it pre-restroom (which is as weird a sentence to type as it is, I imagine, to read.)

I immediately run into my friends, who not only know nothing at all about the empty bar, but proclaim that they’ve been looking for me for “like an hour.” They’ve called and texted me, they say, which is ludicrous because I’ve been using my phone and I would have…

I looked at my phone. I had seven missed calls. A dozen texts. None of which were on my phone when I used it just moments ago, but all of which were timestamped over the past hour-ish.

I call my girlfriend again. Please pick up.

“Did you just talk to me and did I just tell you about everyone disappearing and the bar being totally empty and the weird creepy double dutch girls and getting into an argument with the pizza guy at New York’s Best Pizza?” I shouted into the phone, to the absolute horror of my friends (who were probably wondering what legal obligations they had to return me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.)

“Yes…” she responded, probably wondering what obligations she had to guide me to my hotel and/or the insane asylum before I hurt myself.

“Good!” I shouted, and promptly hung up, having proven my sanity, but really testing the depths of that aforementioned reservoir of goodwill. She would later tell me that somehow the second phone call was weirder than the first.

Moving past my friends, I stormed back into the bar. The bartender (the first one, the hipster one, the human one) clocked me coming in, but before he could open his mouth to ask what was probably going to be a very friendly question about whether I found the pizza place, or did I want to close out the tab I’d left open, instead got to be on the receiving end of me shouting “You sent me to a really fucking weird pizza place!” before marching out the door; thus cementing my reputation as a gifter of bizarre and inexplicable social interactions, and the probable punchline to someone else’s very different story.

For the rest of the week, my friends would swear up, down, sideways, sober, and drunk that no, the bar did not empty out; no, this was not a prank; no, they didn’t see me leave; and yes, they were in the very full and active bar the entire time I was gone.

It’s ten years later, and I don’t have an explanation for this event. I wouldn’t say it haunts me, but it’s definitely one of the weirder things that’s ever happened to me. And weirder still, in writing down this modern pizza-driven Brigadoon, I looked up Ford’s and New York’s Best Pizza just to see if I remembered their names right - and I can’t find any trace of either of them.

I’m still with the same girlfriend, and she still remembers the phone calls (vividly), but no one else was actually there, so no one else can verify the very weird set of events and circumstances that happened late that night, and into the early morning, across a series of overlapping universes.

Somewhere, out there in the ether of the multiverse, I imagine one version of me is still wondering where everyone went and yearning for a slice of New York’s Best Pizza.

#Personal

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salamoonder · 4 years

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thoughts on cr episode 108 before i disappear into my writing hole:

drunk characters are so so good for character development conversations, ugh

i’m so super proud of caleb and my widobrave heart is exploding right alongside my empire-siblings-cohabitate-endgame thoughts because they are literally perfectly suited to one another

if sam leaves again i will scream

okay the big salt: the beau, cad, fjord conversation made me suuuuper uncomfortable. i have no doubt that jester would be horrified, betrayed, hurt, etc. if she knew they were talking like that. literally it was “okay so we all silently agreed that we’re going to humor jester and treat her like a child in need of a bodyguard behind her back right”. gross. gross gross. beau’s attitude in particular was...i don’t know if y’all have ever had a friend who Hates your best friend that you have known all your life and keeps saying they want to punch them despite having actually interacted with them a total of maybe three times, even if said best friend is being Gross, but it is an awful, awful feeling.

HAVING SAID THIS. i shouldn’t have to put this reminder but because some people like to indiscriminately hate on the actors instead of the characters: i support all of their character choices, really i do, and i also think laura has been deliberately encouraging the infantilization of jester (in the characters, at least) for quite some time. see how insistent she got that matt not reveal jester’s age. i’m interested to see what comes of this character arc.

also caduceus,,,number one offender in treating jester like a child but tbh it’s cause he does it with the whole rest of the nein too. caddy. blease. i love you. i get that you’re the second youngest and therefore you have to be Like This whenever you encounter new people younger than you but pleaaase

alright anyway. salt over, “i want to be wherever you are” fucking broke me

veth is a legend don’t look at me don’t touch me i fucking love veth oh my god oh my g

me during the break in my head was just a dozen different scenarios of “ok here’s how moonweaver cleric jester can still win”

the dichotomy of fjord letting go of caduceus and telling jester she had to let go? absolutely beautiful

on that note. i do not like how fjord was engaging w beau and caduceus as aforementioned but kudos to him by facilitating her making her own choice. i was sure he was going to thunder step outta there and just hope she wouldn’t resist but he surprised me. thank you fjord for letting her make that choice.

as an aside i find the moonweaver’s double standards genuinely hilarious. but also jester lavorre loves deeply enough to impress a god and idk if we can beat that tbh

to be honest it’s been hard for my brain to pay attention to anything else bc a voice in the back of my head is screaming, REXXENTRUM ARC REXXENTRUM ARC REXXENTRUM ARC

REXXENTRUM AAAAARC

seriously

yall. listen

i want caleb to go kill trent and get astrid and wulf out So Bad

i say “get them out” bc i think it’s fair to say even at this point we still don’t know how much they’re acting of their own free will. like they’re definitely making Some Choices but even if they’re not being magically controlled anymore i assume trent has collateral on all his students, in case someone gets Ideas

i’m so torn between “super happy that they’re maybe going back to rexxentrum” and “my blumendrei epic is nowhere near done and i want more time to finish it before all my headcanons are likely entirely shattered by canon”

but also i want to see how accurate some of my predictions/guesswork is

i’m fucking stuck yall

i genuinely forgot how much i love yussa

also it’s hilarious how much yussa was supposed to be the essek but now essek is the essek like the m9 couldn’t go for the “vaguely-broody-and-prideful-but-essentially-good-mage” nah it had to be “this man literally did not care that he helped start a war”

also i miss essek

cannot fucking wait for sam to smack us all with like the third shoe dropping when veth talks to yeza again

anyway that’s about it for now feel free to send me asks on any of this apologies for the context-less salt last night i am happy to clarify any of it i will be answering all the asks sitting in my inbox now

#the mighty nein #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #thane watches critical role

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trishvaylar · 4 years

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Maybe I just got lucky or maybe not, but I had a post in my drafts, a long one, written in two parts, about Rederina, I finished writing it, posted it but...it just got deleted, with no way for me to get it back unless I am to write it again right now. Well, seeing as there are only a few hours left until the Blacklist return with season 8, episode 03, and I am emotionally very uplifted right now (I was granted someone I love more then life, and that is inspiring, so much so writing a post I just spent over an hour finishing, from scratch, is not an ordeal at all, at least does not look like it anyway🤗) -I shall just do it again!

So, this Rederina post will contain two parts, the first about all the wrong reasons antis hate Rederina and the second about the sheer logic and inner magic and beauty of Rederina!

Shall we begin?

So, the first and foremost reason why there are Rederina-antis is that James Spader is a Man! Oh, of cause, he IS a man, there is no doubt in my mind about this and he has a great sex appeal, which we, women all around the world, feel very acutely. Yes, he is a man, but apart from that, he is although a great actor, whose gift comes from God! He could perfectly play a man who used to be a woman, no questions asked. Why would anyone object to that, if, when James'characters kissed a man in screen in Crash and in TV in the Office, I heard absolutely no objections to his chatacters' bisexualism. I see this as hypocricy and huge double standarts. I could also include an anti reason here that Rederina is anti-transgender. That is just stupid as fuck, because this is about love (Katarina's real reasons for changing her identity, which comes first, and gender switch comes in second, but I would elaborate on this in the second part of the post), not transgender rights I hugely respect.

So, I believe we are done with this reason, lets explore the others. And the top after mentioned above is the Daddygaters' reason. They believe Red is actually the real Reddington, Liz' Father. They create alaborate proofs of their theory, to explain why would Red make Liz believe she murdered her Father by shooting him when she was 4, why his remains were burried then dug up and then burned, if he, Red, was her Father all along. What Daddygaters do not recognize is that their elaborate explanations not only take the sound logic out of the show, but also make Red someone towards Liz he never was - a monster!

I really think this is enough talk about Daddygaters hating on Rederina.

The other reason for the antis is that we had The Witch listed as Katarina Rostova, number 3, on the blacklist. Oh well, this one is a piece of cake. It is a writing ruse used by many writers, ours just used this trick too. The moment I knew Red was an imposter, I knew we had to have an imposter Katarina, making her the name on the blacklist, very high up.

There is another reason, closely connected with the previous one: that Red and Katarina could not be one person, they have to be two people. I think this is very simple - The Witch is not Katarina, because WE KNOW KATARINA LOVES MASHA MORE THEN HER OWN LIFE! The Witch only cared for herself and her own survival, not about Liz. Mothers do not change like this, ever! Who else on the show loves Liz like this? Red, no one else. By that logic Red could ONLY be Katarina, Katarina could ONLY be our Red.

There are other, emotional, or plot-wise reasons for the antis to list, but they are minor and boring, we just talked about everything of any importance at all.

So we could light-heartedly pass to the second part of the post - the logic and inner beauty and magic of Rederina canon.

First and foremost Rederina is beautiful and logical because it tells the story of the greatest love of all, the Mother's love for her child. Look at what Katarina did in order to ensure her Daughter's safety - she forfeited her own identity, her personality, her self, not mentioning her Father, who never accepted the change and saw it as murder of who his daughter was, of her gender, her right to be Masha's Mother, to be with her. She entrusted Masha/Liz to Sam, who would ensure that Liz grew up emotionally safe, well protected, loved, taken care of, growing in the normal, non-criminal environment, with plenty of advise, money, guidince, smoothing the path done by Rederina. Because Katarina never planned to fully dissapear out of Liz' life. As Red (she chose to become Reddington for a few reasons - Reddington already existed, was dead, she knew everything about him, he was the Father of her only Daughter she literally adores, he was a man, by becoming him she could build that criminal Empire to counter any threat to Liz and to keep her, that is, Red, free and a very formidable enemy even in the eyes of the Cabal or anyone ever to try to topple Red or to trace Liz) she still influenced Liz' life, all aspects of it, but to Liz Red was only a notorious criminal, an he had to start from scratch in his relationship with the Daughter. When, in the end of season 7, Red answeres Liz' question by saying "you are the Daughter of Katarina Rostova", that sealed it for me. Liz inherits the Empire as the Daughter of the Mother, not as the Daughter of the Father, because, yes, Red has his name and face, but the soul is the Mother's!

In Cape May, where Katarina went alone 25 years ago, she tried to decide how to protect Masha. She was there alone. After "loosing" Liz Red goes to Cape May to try and find the spirit of the Woman, to ask one question - had his becoming Red to protect Liz failed to keep her from dying. His inner self, Katarina, could not answer that question, so Red goes to Dom, to THE PARENT, to try and get that answer. Eventually Dom and Aram lead Red to a belief Liz did not die as the result of that faithful choice.

We know Liz did not die, she tried to protect her own Daughter - Red understood, forgave without any discussion (but he did not forgive Mr Kaplan for hurting the Mother's heart), just stopped calling her Lizzy, for she is trully an adult in his eyes now. Red keeps forgiving, understanding, accepting Liz as only a Parent would. Those who wish Red to emotionally abandone Liz, they would never have their way.

I decided not to mention the romantic anti-rederina reason because that is soooo perverted in my mind I just can not bring myself to counter that with serious arguments. Romantic love is keen2 on the show, with the potential keenler, but romance between parent and child? No thank you! But having started the thread of emotional abandonement, I had to mention this one moment too.

So, Red seeks emotional support and advice from KATARINA'S FATHER? When it is a Parent Red needs? I mean, how more obvious could this get?

Then there is the fact that everything Liz ever finds out about her Mother, comes from Red. He tells Liz about what Katarina feared, how she loved Liz' Father, what she felt while being pregnant, what she felt after Masha was born, the photograph, of her and Masha, that her Mother is in her, even the diary and the time machine Liz got from Kirk - Kirk only came back into Liz' life thanks to seeing Liz and Red on TV together while they were on the run. The way Kirk and Red talk about Katarina is also very telling - Kirk tells what he remembers, and Red just adds personal details to what Katarina did, things only Katarina would really know. And Kirk would only accept help, the cure, from Katarina, for he knows - in her own way she cared...she cares still. That was one huge clue for me as to Rederina canon; Cape May was another; Dom was the next; even The Witch was just another clue.

Liz will know, eventually, who Red really is, and I hope she will hear it from him and all of us will:

I AM YOUR MOTHER!

That would be the most epic moment in the history of all the TV-shows in the last thirty years. Because that would prove the existance of the greatest love of all - the transending, unconditional, sucrificial, all-encompassing love ever existing in the world! The Blacklist, the show which is an ode to what makes our world worth living in: this kind of love which makes us human!

@katarinas-redemption with love and gratitude

#the blacklist #raymond reddington #rederina #Katarina Rostova

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peterstanslizzie · 4 years

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Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 4)

Ughhhhh :’(

Episode Title: Don’t You Forget a Meow Me

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers

1. First of all, what a cute episode title! LOL. The episode opens with Yumyan, Asher and Dahlia trying to catch a butterfly mute from the tree tops but the butterfly has a brain and is able to flee lol. And he has such a bro voice. Cool! We get to see a close-up of Asher; They look so good with short hair.

2. Dahlia spots Zane, who is about to fire his crossbow at someone but Yumyan and the others took care of him:

3. Back inside, everybody is having pancakes for dinner but they’re interrupted by Zane’s presence. He has a message for Kipo from Emilia and she wants Kipo to meet her at the water treatment facility in 3 hours to get cured. Kipo doesn’t seem to have a choice but to follow her instruction because Wolf, Benson and Dave have been captured by Emilia all thanks to that spineless backstabber, Margot. But I’m so pumped now because I feel like things are gonna get epic and serious from this point onwards.

4. Kipo immediately runs off to get to Emilia but is thankfully stopped by Song before she makes another bad decision. Kipo is frustrated that Emilia still has power even though she thinks she has already completely destroyed the research journal, which we know it wasn’t completely disintegrated.

5. They head back to the village to discuss a new game plan. Song tries to give her input and it sounds pretty legit but it’s a shame nobody is understanding her. I have a feeling this is where Mulholland is gonna come in.

I actually think Zane’s lowkey fine....don’t judge lol

6. But what’s even better is that they know Zane is aware of Emilia’s secret plan and Kipo brilliantly comes up with the idea to trick him into drinking water with Mulholland in it in order to get inside his thoughts. Mulholland is such a useful ally to have.

Poor Scarlemagne is getting tossed around in that glass cell, ouch!

7. We switch things over to Scarlemagne, who is having a conversation with Song! Song looks like she’s expressing her worries to him but Scarlemagne, too, doesn’t get what she’s trying to say. Sometimes I find myself forgetting that these two had somewhat of a mother-son relationship.

8. Mulholland manages to retrieve the info from Zane’s brain and he tells the others that Emilia only has 2 doses of the cure, thanks to the fur Kipo left back in episode 2. Also, he reveals (or mentally shows) to them that Wolf, Benson and Dave are tied up with a bomb nearby so that in case anyone tries to rescue them, Emilia and her crew will cause the bomb to explode. Yikes!

9. Kipo wonders if Mulholland could get into Emilia’s head to turn her good but he says it’s too risky because if he gets mixed in with the cure, there is a possibility he would de-mute everyone. Double yikes! But I think it’s a plan worth considering if none of their other plans work because at least Dr. Emilia hasn’t been introduced to Mulholland, I think.

Mandu is literally me if I were watching over a bad guy

10. Side note: Where is Troy throughout all of this? His boyfriend is captured and threatened by the bad guys. I want to know his reaction. Anyways, with the help of Mulholland, Kipo, Lio and Yumyan then go through an imaginary test-run of their rescue mission but they quickly fail because Kipo is too fearful. Why though? Is it because her friends are in danger? But that didn’t stop her in episode 2 when Jamack was captured. Weird, right?

11. Yumyan and Lio try to advise Kipo on how to stay calm and not be too afraid when facing Emilia. Yumyan definitely got through to Kipo a little more because he reminds her of the time in Season 1 when she pushed him to take charge. Afterwards, Kipo seems to feel a lot better and she then tries another simulation....and another...and I guess another but she’s always failing. Really, Kipo?

12. Awww, the way those Timberkittens call Scarlemagne’s name was so adorable! Also, are their names really Scrumples and Snugglemuffin? Or are those nicknames given to them by Scarlemagne. If so, omg that’s so precious! So now, Scarlemagne is trying to teach Song to speak using alphabet blocks just like how she taught him when he was just a child and when she was still a human.

13. Back to Kipo’s test-runs; She’s still failing miserably in them. She can’t seem to avoid Emilia’s darts for some reason, specifically the second dart she shoots at her. Well, she better figure out a strategy quick because the deadline to respond to Emilia is almost here.

14. Next, we see Song and Scarlemagne playing charades with the latter trying to guess what’s she’s gesturing. It’s funny that Song doesn’t know how to read or write but she sure does know how to listen to the others almost perfectly lol. Eventually, he manages to guess a word that is similar to “feeling” so far. Hmm...

15. It’s times up and Mulholland decides to bid his farewell for the good of the mutes. He feels like him being around them would be dangerous in the event Emilia got to him. Ugh, I don’t want him too leave. He’s too much of a valuable asset to the group. Not to mention, he’s hilarious.

I love soft Scarlemagne. I have a feeling that he still has that family bond with the Oaks.

16. Kipo feels like she has no choice now but to give in to Emilia’s demands but before they could leave, Scarlemagne and Song stop them because Song has a message she wants to give to Kipo through Scarlemagne. She basically wants Kipo to know that she shouldn’t let Emilia use her feelings against her and instead, she should dish it back to Emilia. Scarlemagne further explains that she should let Emilia think she won this round so that she would put her guard down. Great thinking!

17. We fast forward to Kipo barging into Emilia’s hideout without hesitation. Emilia shoots a cure dart and it apparently gets her but she probably didn’t. I predict Kipo has some protective covering for her chest. Emilia goes back on her deal and now wants to take all of them back to her ship. And she wants Kipo to tell the rest of the humans that she didn’t want to be a mute anymore.

18. It turns out that she’s just distracting her so that Lio and Yumyan could go forward with their rescue plan with Lio stealing Emilia’s second and only other dart left and Yumyan stopping Greta from triggering the nectar bomb. And as predicted, Kipo had that piece of wood Scarlemagne used to write on to protect her. And the battle begins with Yumyan taking on Greta and Kipo taking on Emilia.

19. But why are they struggling against the humans? Kipo should’ve transformed into her full Mega Jaguar form. Because of that, both Emilia and Greta manage to best them and escape. What the!? This fight should’ve been one-sided with the odds favoring the mutes.

20. And look what happened! OMG! I think Yumyan got hit by the dart that was meant for Kipo. Again, why was Kipo so slow at avoiding those darts all of a sudden?! Ughh, she’s so frustrating. Technically, Wolf made the dart go to Yumyan but this wouldn’t happen if Kipo had reacted faster. Kipo and the rest think that they escaped without any harm...we’ll see about that...

21. Yeap, my fears came true because Yumyan did get hit by the cure dart and he has turned into regular cat. Nooooo!!!! And it’s kinda low key Kipo’s fault. She went through like 10 test runs, so she should’ve learned to avoid them but no, she didn’t! *sniffs. Kipo better find a way to turn him back into a mute pronto. And I’m pretty sure Lio would be able to help. Damn...and the episode has to end with his last words being “Yumyan owns you...meow”...CRIESSSS

22. Well, that’s the end of my review of episode 4. Stay tuned tomorrow for my review of episode 5. Thanks for reading everybody!

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drunklander · 4 years

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x11 #drunj!der yells about outlander

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gra-sonas · 4 years

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Howdy... Max?!

f you haven't yet watched the season 2 finale of Roswell, New Mexico, stop reading right now. Go watch it (or hibernate in an alien pod until you can) and then come back here to hear what series star Jeanine Mason (Liz Ortecho) and creator Carina Adly MacKenzie have to say about that shocking final moment.

After a season of heart problems (romantic and literal), threesomes(!), abductions, and plenty of family drama, the second season of the CW extraterrestrial drama came to close on Monday night, sidestepping a literal explosion but still managing to make our minds explode. Yup, in the final moments of the episode, Max (Nathan Dean Parsons), Isobel (Lily Cowles) and Michael (Michael Vlamis) arrived in a cave that housed an extraterrestrial cage containing another alien who looked exactly (plus an impressive beard) like Max! Is it an evil twin? A doppelgänger? A dark part of Max himself?

We asked MacKenzie for the inside scoop and all the other insight on the twists and turns of the final episode. Plus, Mason dishes on Liz's decision to leave Roswell and Max behind.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Let's start at the end. Can you tell us anything at all about Mr. Jones a.k.a Other Max?

CARINA ADLY MACKENZIE: Nathan wasn't working a whole lot at the beginning of this season and we decided we're going to put him to work double next year. I will say, it's been in the works for a while. That scene with his hand on Nora's shoulder was one of the first scenes of the season that we shot and it's one of the last ones that you see, so we've been building to it. I'm excited to tell the story of Mr. Jones next season.

I mean, I'm sure you can't answer but I'm going to ask anyway: Is he a twin? A doppelgänger? Some alien then we haven't heard of yet?

MACKENZIE: Yeah, I'm not going to answer that question. I'm starting a year of my life of trying really hard not to answer that question.

Were you excited at the idea of two Maxes when you first found out, Jeanine?

JEANINE MASON: Yeah, our minds were blown. What I love about the character of Max is he's all things good, decent and righteous and now to turn that on its head and make him all the opposite things... I'm excited for Nathan to have that as an acting exercise and I'm so excited to support him through season 3. Also, for fans, it's going to be really jarring and disorienting, and anything that requires us to watch more attentively and sit on the edge of our seats, and really question the things we know to be true, I think is so smart and exciting and engaging. I'm also interested to see how and when Liz will find out. She's also a prime person to be taken advantage of and duped by it.

"Howdy, partner" was such a great last line for the season. Was that yours, Carina?

MACKENZIE: That was me. I felt like it was the correct mix of amusing and menacing and Mr. Jones is going to be really fun to write because that's sort of where he lives: between amusing and menacing. Nathan loves that beard. He walks differently when he had it. His whole vibe changes. He becomes this like silver, bartender guy, who I don't know.

We saw Liz decided to move to California at the end and Max chose not to follow. Why is their relationship failing right now?

MACKENZIE: Max has had secrets his entire life. He's a very, very, very good liar because his entire life he's had to lie to everyone who loves him and he hasn't yet learned how to be a true partner to Liz. He makes a lot of promises and doesn't follow through. That said, Liz's ambition is overwhelming to her and what she's doing with the alien DNA is unethical. It's not right. In her mind, it's "I'm taking a risk, but I could possibly save so many people." In his mind, the risk is too great. You don't just get to mess with somebody else, even if she's saying it's not hurting anyone. There's this moment in the fight where she says, "I'm not hurting anyone," and he just looks at her with this searing look and it's like, no, she is. They're hurting each other. I think that politically right now, they are on opposite sides of a major issue that affects both of them. We wanted to tell a story in which the conflict in their relationship just comes from the two of them. It's not about Diego. It's not about California. It's about Liz and Max and they're not able to align right now. They love each other so much, but sometimes that's just not enough.

Jeanine, did you feel like Liz was doing the right thing by leaving for now?

MASON: I felt certain that this was what was right for Liz. I was just grateful to our writers that they wrote her in a way that feels, to me, real and mature and actually indicative of a 29-year-old woman who says, right now, this is too much and I need my space. I need to reclaim my agency and I need to go. There's a sense with them and their epic love, the energy of Max and Liz, that probably plays into her being okay with saying, right now is not the right time. I can believe that maybe it will be later because we found each other after ten years before.

Speaking of breakups, Michael and Maria (Heather Hemmens) also ended things in this episode. Can you explain a little more of Maria's thinking there?

MACKENZIE: I think that Maria's reasoning comes from not wanting to hold anybody back and not wanting to hold herself back. She's made Michael a lot of promises. She's promised that she isn't going to leave him alone and she realizes that she can't keep a promise to herself while also keeping a promise to Michael. In her mind, she's in this difficult situation in which she's watching the man she loves go racing to save someone else that she loves, but then wants her to stay out of the fray. Rather than spend the rest of her life fighting about that, she's just got to let him go. It's kind of heartbreaking. I really loved that scene. Both her actors did a phenomenal job. They both called me and were like, "Wait! Why?" just freaking out. Sometimes I think you have to take a big step back and look at the bigger picture and the bigger implications on your life. We're not telling stories about high school kids. We're telling stories about people that are almost 30 and they're looking for life partners and I think she realizes that he's not hers and she's not his.

I have to ask about Alex's song. Did you write that, Carina?

MACKENZIE: I wrote it with Leslie Powell and Charlie Snyder and I'm super proud of it. My cut of the royalties are going to The Trevor Project, so I'm very excited for people to finally hear it. There's lots of little throwbacks in there.

How has it been having both Shiri Appleby and Jason Behr on set this season?

MASON: I mean, so wonderful. One of the biggest gifts from this job is just how it's a family within a family within a family. That's a really unique experience to get to have and one that's been positively received by the fans, the original fans and fans of the book series. Then also on set, it's fun to see the excitement on our faces of them coming in and joining forces. There's this feeling of disbelief sometimes where I'll look over and I'm just marveling at it. I told Jason like a year ago I was obsessed with Colin Hanks. We'd been joking about it and I was like, "So, now we're at a point where if I saw him at the grocery store, I could tell him we're friends? That could be my intro?" Now he says he's trying to finagle something. I don't know what, but I'm going to die.

The show does so well at being relevant and part of the conversation. Is there one scene, storyline, or interaction your most proud of this season? The scene with Liz and Max in the diner in the penultimate episode where Liz tells Max, “You don’t get this. That’s not your fault it’s just the reality of our experiences,” really stood out to me.

MASON: It's our favorite thing about the show and that we're supported, to be honest, and have our eyes open in that way is such a gift. It's just amazing the timing of last week's episode, alongside these conversations that are happening about Black lives matter and how much they do. It was so powerful. I think that's the kind of stuff that the universe is able to reward you with, when you do something that is right and you're willing to have a conversation that maybe everybody else is dancing around a bit. It was powerful for me to sit there and work on those lines and load them up with all the feelings that I do very much share about, I can love and emphasize with you and you can love and emphasize with me, but you have to understand that it's nothing negative to say that you're not going to ultimately understand. That doesn't mean you can't be an ally.

MACKENZIE: In the current climate, I'm really grateful that we get to ask questions and have tough conversations about race and privilege and misogyny and all of these tough conversations that we're able to reflect on. We just sort of live in that world. Seeing what's been going on in the world lately, I've just been very proud of our show and that no matter what we're going through as a society, I feel like we have been asking relevant questions during our time on Roswell. It makes things feel a little bit less trivial.

Can you tease anything for season 3?

MACKENZIE: The interesting thing is that before we took our extended break, we were planning on a season about racism in the police department. So during the break, we're doing a whole lot of thinking about how we're going to take a look at our plans with new eyes.

~ EW

#roswell new mexico #rnm 2x13 #rnm spoilers #jeanine mason #rnm press #roswell new mexico s3 #carina mackenzie

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gofancyninjaworld · 5 years

Text

OPM Manga Chapter 129 Review: Turning the Tide

I intended to ruminate on this chapter for a good while before writing a review, but it’s niggling too much, so I’m pinching some time away from work to do this. If you don’t tell my boss, we’re good!

The Story: Before terror, even the hardest will crack

This chapter was a hoped-for, but unexpected treat as we continue where we left off in chapter 126 with Garou and Darkshine facing off. Darkshine continues to throw powerful punches at Garou, only for the latter to evade them effortlessly while sending his own shocking blows that send Darkshine flying.

charging at you like a freight train aimed at your solar plexus, Garou is literally breath-taking

Murata’s excellent choreography makes words nearly superfluous. As the fear grows in Darkshine, we see his movements become increasingly less fluid and turn more into desperate defensive swings: the language turns from ‘let’s fight’ to ‘please stay away from me’.

Nevertheless, we’re glad for the words. They add context to Darkshine’s struggles as we learn that he’s never wanted to fight. Fighting sucks -- a real fight is uncertain in outcome and carries the real possibility of loss, serious injury or even death. He’s wanted to experience triumph through matching strength with others, a totally different beast. When people say they want a challenge, they mean something that stretches, and almost, but not quite overwhelms them. Something that they remain in ultimate control of. That feeling of flow, of exerting oneself fully to meet a difficult situation, that’s the feeling Darkshine has been chasing.

Garou doesn’t offer a mere exhibition of strength, but a real fight, and we see the terror gradually consume Darkshine until Garou both figuratively and literally looms over him. And then... a minor miracle occurs.

god, this page is perfection

‘What am I doing?’ Garou is stopped by suddenly recognising the fear on Darkshine’s face, and No one wants to see themselves as the bad guy, so this gives him pause. Before any sense of brotherly understanding can spread, two things intervene. First, something within Garou breaks, sending him doubling over in pain. Second, a psychic bubble forms around Darkshine and starts to carry him away.

at this point, I just want to give him a hug

Wait, am I not going to comment on the art? I appreciate it, but nope! There’s a thirst train two miles long over that way. That’s one chilli dip buffet that doesn’t need yet another bowl of chilli dip. :D

Meta: Nothing in the webcomic is written in stone. Thank goodness

I’ve written at tedious length on the many, many changes that exist between webcomic and manga. [Sorry not sorry, I’m going to write more.] While the big events and where things are broadly going remain the same, what even the events that aren’t changed mean and how they hit us is something that ONE has no problem changing if he feels that they serve the story better.

The biggest single change I love is that Garou gets some self-awareness. The webcomic had denied him the slightest insight into his actions until the very end, where Saitama’s pointing out the truth of his motivations came as a shock to both ourselves and to him. The manga has been much more expansive. It has both let us into his mind to allow us to see his thoughts, and has given him more to think about. This is the first time Garou sees himself not as the little guy striking a blow for righteousness, but a bully of people who can’t fight back.

Unfortunately, the processes that are at work within Garou aren’t entirely under his control: the pain he doubles over in when he shows empathy and sympathy to Darkshine is the creeping corruption of monsterisation. He may be paler and spikier than he was, but the external changes are working their way inward. Garou may still be a nice guy at heart, but in time, the heart itself will go.

he may be putting on an evil act now, but it won’t always be an act. May someone save Garou while there’s still someone to save.

Even though it’s as a result of a story-exaggerated bronzer addiction, Darkshine’s changed skin colour lands very badly on Western eyes, for good reasons we won’t go into here. But there’s more to it. Darkshine’s power echoes the webcomic’s current focus on Sweet Mask. Just like Beauto developed his Sweet Mask transformation as a way of hiding his ugliness from the world, Darkshine’s armour of muscle, super-hard skin, and the bronzer he paints on his skin so he shines are all protection from the fear and insecurity within him.

Thankfully, there isn’t the slightest bit of monster in Darkshine. He has remained the kind-hearted human being he always was. From the webcomic itself, Darkshine never looked at Garou as an enemy to be killed, but rather as a boy behaving badly, someone to be chastised and taken in hand. The manga extends this, by having Darkshine call out a warning to Garou: even in all this, he never stopped seeing Garou as a fellow human being. You need a heart of stone not to be touched by that.

The final change that I am super happy about is that instead of Tatsumaki mono-focussing on pulling up just the monsters so she can finish them all herself, this time she’s explicitly protecting and pulling up the heroes. At least, we reckon she’s pulling up the ones we know about. Whether they reach the surface with her or she has to leave them somewhere is something that remains to be seen. She’s trying, that’s the important thing. Along with her taking care to ensure that Tareo was safe before acting, even at the cost of being injured, the manga is treating Tatsumaki much better than the webcomic did. Thank fuck for that. It’s no good calling a person a hero if they don’t act like one.

I’ve been glad to see the parallel threads of the two epic battles (that between Tatsumaki and Psykos/Orochi and that between Garou and Darkshine) have come to be intertwined so neatly.

As to what’s coming next, we think we know, but I don’t think we’re emotionally ready for it! It’s bound to be both spectacular and hard-hitting.

#OPM #review #manga chapter #Garou #Darkshine #Tatsumaki #talk about hard-hitting action #I'm impressed they kept Darkshine's history the same #while adding to his character #seeing both opponents as empathetic characters is quite the feat #I do like the frission of tension that's being added as it's not clear any longer that Garou is going to be able to hang onto his humanity

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recurring-polynya · 5 years

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I hoped you would reblog that! :3 A fic after Aizen arc, where Ichigo DOES NOT lose his powers, and seireitei is in full party mode. Someone asks where Rukia is. Renji's like "she went to get snacks". and Orihime, tipsy as hell, just blurts out "Of course you know where she is! You're so cute together!!" and everyone is either like "yeah true" or "WAIT SINCE WHEN?". aka the dorks get peer pressured into realizing they should date already By Everyone. Feat. Women's Society paparazzi.

Hey, so you know how always spend a ton of time on my really long fics and don’t post them until I’m all the way done so that I can make everything internally consistent, etc, etc? What would it look like, as your therapist would say, if I just wrote some nonsense and posted it? And if I feel like writing more chapters later, maybe I will? To post something with a 1/? Also, what if was Canon, Never Heard of Her? and also full of things that do absolutely do not belong in Soul Society (like potato salad?) What would that look like?

Anyway, here you go @unohanadaydreams. I’m sorry it took me so long to do this and also I also messed up your prompt a bunch (I figure that everyone knows how bad Renji has it for Rukia and wouldn’t rag him about it, so I switched ‘em), but I think I captured the spirit of it, along with the spirit of that filler episode where everyone makes movies.

Enough! Enough intro! Here it is!

Heroes of the Hueco Mundo Invasion – In Love!!

“HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOO, SQUAD 10!” Inoue Orihime yodeled, flinging herself into the courtyard, where a barbeque of epic proportions was gearing up.

“Orihime!” Matsumoto screamed.

“YO!” Kurosaki Ichigo announced, stumbling in behind her, arms raised victoriously. “What has two thumbs and just saved Soul Society?”

“This guy!” Orihime squealed, trying to point her thumbs at Ichigo as he also tried to point his thumbs at himself.

Ichigo squinted at the hands waving around his general vicinity. “How many thumbs do I have? Hey, hey, Ishida?! Did I grow any extra arms while I was fighting Aizen?”

Sado Yasutora suddenly plunged through the gate behind them panting and out of breath.

“Are you two drunk?” Captain Hitsugaya demanded.

“My new best friend Captain Doctor Unohana Retsu gave me the good stuff, because I am the Hero of Three Worlds, possibly Four,” Ichigo explained.

“Painkillers,” Chad gasped. “He’s on a very high dose of painkillers. It’s…okay… I'm… keeping an eye on him. He’s still really fast, though.”

“What about Orihime?” Rukia demanded, from where she was trying to sculpt a bowl of potato salad into a diorama of herself defeating Rudabone. Or possibly Chappy. “She wasn’t even hurt.”

“She was very nervous about Kurosaki,” Uryuu explained, sauntering up next to Chad. “So Lieutenant Kotetsu gave her some of Captain Unohana’s home-brewed ginger beer, which was… allegedly non-alcoholic?”

“I feel so powerful right now!” Orihime chimed in. “Like my body is filled with thousands of dubstepping bees!”

“I literally cannot feel any part of my body, right now,” Ichigo chipped in, “but at least I didn’t lose my Soul Reaper powers while performing the Final Getsuga, like some sort of contrived plot hook.”

“Why is it called the Final Getsuga, then?” Orihime asked.

“Beats me!” Ichigo hooted.

“It’s because Europe had just released ‘The Final Countdown’ when I invented it, and that song slaps!” Isshin shouted from somewhere near the kegs.

“DAD!” Ichigo shouted. “Dad, I have something to tell you! Also, Rukia, you are like my other dad, if I had two dads!”

“I am not,” Rukia protested.

“Maybe Byakuya is like my other dad, then, which would make you my sister.”

“I am definitely not,” Byakuya protested. (Did you, gentle reader, think that Byakuya would not attend one of Squad 10’s infamous keggers on the occasion of Aizen’s defeat? You were incorrect. Byakuya is a great fan of Matsumoto’s guac.)

“Listen, Dads,” Ichigo insisted. “I defeated Aizen and I think that definitely means I should get to borrow the car on Saturday, but also, Orihime proposed to me and I said yes , we are now engaged to go to the movies the next weekend that we are back home. Which is why I need the car, you see.”

Orihime dabbed.

“My precious son, I am so proud of you!” Isshin announced, throwing his arms wide. “But you can take the bus to the movies like a normal teenager.”

“Way to go, Orihime!” Rukia congratulated, abandoning her potato salad to perform an elaborate handshake/high-five routine with Orihime.

“This is so exciiiiitiiiiiing!” Matsumoto wailed.

Ise Nanao sidled up to Kusajishi Yachiru. “Madam President,” the Vice-President of the Shinigami Women’s Association intoned gravely. “Are you thinking what I am thinking?”

Hisagi Shuuhei sidled up to the other side of Kusajishi Yachiru. “Are you thinking about a special Seireitei Bulletin feature, presented in cooperation with the Shinigami Women’s Association–”

“–'Heroes of the Hueco Mundo Invasion – In Love!!’” Nanao and Hisagi chorused in unison.

Yachiru blinked. To be honest, she had mostly been thinking about the red bean dumplings she knew Captain Hitsugaya had hidden somewhere earlier, and had not been paying much attention to any of the goings-on up until this point. This may seem to stretch belief, but you have to understand, gentle reader, that this amount of shouting represented a pretty typical day at Squad 11.

Yachiru bounded up to the former ryouka. “Hey, Pencil!” she demanded. “Are you and Muscles dating?”

“Chad!” Ichigo yelped, grabbing at his own hair. “You sneaky person!”

“Uryuu!” Orihime gawped, clapping her hands over her cheeks. “You sly dog!”

“No,” Uryuu corrected stiffly.

“You are mistaken,” Chad added.

“He’s way out of my league,” they said at the same time.

There was a long silence.

Uryuu looked up at Chad out of the corner of his eye.

Chad looked down at Uryuu out of the corner of his eye.

Ichigo was making tiny, excited claps.

Orihime was bouncing.

“Doooooo iiiiiiiiittttttt,” Captain Kyouraku said out of the side of his mouth, pretending like nobody could tell it was him. Everybody could tell it was him.

Rukia straightened up to her full height. “Do it, you dorkuses. The Women’s Association will pay for it. If these two dummies can get their act together, you haven’t got any excuse.” She glanced over at Ichigo and Orihime, who were gazing longingly at one another, and promptly did a horrified double take.

“Errr…” Uryuu waffled.

“I understand if you’re uncomfortable participating in a Soul Society-related activity,” Chad offered an easy way out.

Uryuu opened his mouth, looked at Chad, and closed it again slowly. “I’ll take their money and waste it frivolously. That is within my moral code.”

“YAYYYYY!” Orihime squealed. “Triple date! Can I be an honorary member of the Shinigami Women’s Association?”

“What do you mean, 'triple date’?” Rukia tried to interrupt.

“Yes,” Nanao proclaimed. “But it will be three separate dates, covered as a three-part series.”

“In the World of the Living,” Shuuhei broke in. “The readers are crazy-go-nuts for the World of the Living.”

“Who is the third couple?” Rukia pressed.

“Genius,” Nanao threw a finger gun at Shuuhei. “Matsumoto, you’ll do host segments? Pre- and post-date interviews and such?”

“Give me a clothing budget and you’ve got a deal” Matsumoto agreed.

“WHO! IS! THE! THIRD! COUPLE?!” Rukia demanded.

“You and Renji, obviously,” Orihime replied. “You two are sooooo cute together! I bet your readers would love that, wouldn’t they, Lieutenant Hisagi? If Rukia and Renji went on a date in the World of the Living? Rukia’s like a princess or something here, right?”

“They will go apeshit , Hisagi replied breathlessly. "You have to understand that Abarai is actual very well-known among the Bulletin readership for his incredibly popular column, 'Let’s Do Shikai!!’ This is essentially the Soul Society equivalent of David Beckham marrying Posh Spice.”

“I…. don’t know who that is,” Rukia stammered.

“How do you know who those people are?” Uryuu asked, perplexed.

“I read Living World newspapers,” Hisagi excused with a shrug.

“Rukia, do you have something to tell me?” Byakuya frowned.

“No!” Rukia yelped. “I’m not dating Renji! I have no interest in going on a date with Renji, even though he consistently moves Heaven and Earth for me and we have really similar taste in craft beers and he’s objectively, like, smoking hot. I refuse to go on a date with Renji. Don’t ask me any more questions.”

“Where is Renji, anyway?” Ichigo frowned. “I don’t hear him shouting, so he must not be here.”

“He went to go pick up a bunch of snacks for Matsumoto because he’s a sucker and I’m sure he stopped off to trade out his sunglasses for polarized ones because he says they’re better for late afternoon glare,” Rukia excused very quickly.

“Rukia,” Ichigo noted, suddenly sounding a lot more sober. “Listen to yourself.”

“Soooooooo cuuuuuuuuuuuute!” Orihime repeated, exaggerating her lip movements.

“She’s not wrong,” Uryuu pointed out.

Chad did Big Shrug Arms and nodded in agreement.

At this moment, the man in question strode into the courtyard, carrying several grocery bags and wearing a pair of polarized sunnies. “Hey, party people!” Renji greeted cheerfully, somehow managing to hold four overstuffed grocery bags in one arm while he fished something out of one of them. “Why’s everyone so quiet?”

“Hey, Abarai, will you do me a big favor?” Hisagi asked innocently.

“Yeah, sure,” Renji agreed. He found whatever he was looking for. “Oi, Ruki-Ruki,” he called, tossing a small paper packet to Rukia. “They had those melon-flavored gummy salamanders you like when you get hammered.”

Rukia caught them easily, her cheeks flaming red.

“'Ruki-Ruki’?” Ichigo mouthed to her, making the most judgemental face he could manage under the influence of Unohana’s Special Sauce.

“So, what’s can I do you for, Shuuhei?” Renji asked, trying to find an empty spot to deposit his bags.

Shuuhei told him.

“Oh,” said Renji. He looked over at Rukia, who managed an awkward, sheepish half-smile as she clutched her candies. “Well, shit.”

#renruki #asks #fanfic prompts #i am between medications right now and my brain has the zoomies #should i post this on ao3? i dunno #i am sure i will regret this later #i love you unohanadaydreams u r the best #my writing

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frasier-crane-style · 5 years

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oKAY, I got a few Redbox rental for my birthday, so I decided to pick up Spider-Man: Far From Home, skip all the Disney Channel Original Movie stuff, and see how it stacks up as a pure Spider-Man movie. Which is not easy, because they’re in full Marvel movie mode, and every two minutes there’s a wacky aside or a sight gag or something. It’s not even Peter making jokes, which would be in-character. It’s just banter about Happy’s password being Password and stuff. There’s not one wholly dramatic scene in this movie, it has this Epic Movie sense of humor where something ‘hilarious’ is always defusing the tension. Like, all that’s missing is Leslie Nielsen being the tour guide.

1. Mexico. Mysterio has used ‘Sandman’ (confusingly referred to as a ‘cyclone with a face’--and then Spider-Man never even fights him) to destroy a town. I gotta say--if Mysterio has the ability to pull off no-bullshit terror attacks... yeah, the Sandman is fake, but the damage is real... why not just do that? It seems like there are a ton of evil organizations who would pay him loads of money.

2. Also, Mysterio is really not shy about lowering the dome and showing his face. Wouldn’t a quick facial recognition scan, of the kind that you’d think Nick Fury would run all the time, ID him as Quentin Beck? And even if he’s going “hey, that’s my double, I’m from an alternate universe,” shouldn’t Nick Fury be a bit suspicious that the double of this mysterious new superhero is a disgruntled and unstable Stark employee?

3. By the way, I know the twist is that Nick Fury is really a Skrull and that’s why he’s so incompetent--telling Peter to take his mask off in front of fucking Mysterio--but Nick Fury left a Skrull playing him, so... who’s that on? You’d think any given Agent of SHIELD would do better.

4. First action scene. Hydroman attacks Venice and is defeated by Mysterio, with Spider-Man slightly assisting. He’s left his costume back at the hotel, so he does this while using a Venetian mask to disguise himself. Hilariously, he quickly takes this off to, yes, show us his face. (Also, I guess no one notices that Not!Spider-Man is wearing the exact same clothes and has the exact same body type as Peter.) He also doesn’t make any quips besides referring to himself as “really strong and sticky.” Being awkward is not a one-liner, movie.

5. Also, others have pointed out that this Spider-Man seems more concerned about saving property than saving lives, and it must be said that for much of this fight, Peter is trying to stop a belltower from collapsing, with no sign that he’s buying time for people to evacuate it or anything. Sure, it’s a worthy goal and all, but I have to ask how much good patching a belltower up with webbing is going to do? It’ll dissolve in an hour and then where are you? Does he really think the authorities will be able to fix it up before then? Seems like he would be better served letting it collapse and attacking Hydroman to keep him from doing more damage.

6. You ever notice how movie characters always refer to sleeping pills and such as ‘a mild sedative’? Naut Fury shoots Ned/Ganke with a dart that instantly knocks him out, then calls it “a mild tranquilizer.” Christ, what would a strong tranquilizer do, put him in a coma for ten years?

7. Man, it’s weird how inconsistent this movie is with basic characterization. Peter turns down saving the world because Spider-Man being seen in Europe might give away his identity, but he’s also blase about taking off his mask in front of Nick Fury and co. And Tom Holland walking around unmasked really makes it obvious that his suit is a CGI effect that his head is awkwardly hovering on top of. I guess just putting someone in a costume is a lost art.

And I’m not even watching this on Blu-Ray. This is a DVD, because Redbox is shit and, even though their e-mail said the promo code was good for a Blu-Ray, apparently I can only use it for a DVD. Thanks, thanks for ruining my special day. Prats.

8. I know the whole EDITH thing has been meta’d elsewhere, but I just want to point out that Stark Enterprises has a ‘global defense network’. With drones and backdoors into every telecommunications company. Imagine if Microsoft announced that, oh, hey, we have a Panzer division. I guess Stark Enterprises is a PMC now? I thought they went into clean energy. Apparently they still make weapons, but now they... hoard them to use for their own purposes? Not creepy at all. Like, Marvel does realize they are writing an evil megacorporation here, right?

9. Oh, now we’re just getting aggressively stupid. Peter is met by a SHIELD agent who insists that he strip to change into an alternate, non-Spider-Man suit (so I guess, after an action scene where he’s in civilian clothes, now we’re going to get one where he’s in this spy costume. Yeah, I hate seeing Spider-Man in a Spider-Man movie.) I’m not sure why he has to do this now instead of simply putting the suit in his backpack. I’m also not sure why he has to strip in front of her. He doesn’t even try to go somewhere private to change and she doesn’t say anything like “Why are you taking off your clothes in front of me like a retard? Go around the corner or something, fuckwit.” It’s all to set up a scene where Peter gets seen by his (sigh) rival for MJ’s heart, who takes a cell phone picture, leading us to... well, leading me to wonder why they couldn’t have put a little more thought into staging this scene so it was slightly believable? Like he could have trouble putting it on in private, the female agent could go to check on him, and Random Non-canon Character could stumble in on them that way. But anyway.

10. With literally insane ease, Peter designates Brad a target and EDITH launches a drone strike on him. For various ridiculous reasons, Peter can’t just say abort, so he eventually distracts EVERYONE by saying there are baby mountain goats, webs the drone while no one is looking, and--that works. No one notices.

Man, that’s some fucking weaksauce.

11. I’m fast-forwarding a bunch, but we seem to spend a lot of time on Peter trying to get his friends out of harm’s way for the upcoming fight scene in Prague, only for them to end up in harm’s way. For the second action sequence in a row. It seems like he could’ve succeeded and then just been trying to rescue normal civilians instead of people he knows personally, but then I guess we couldn’t have Ned and Betty/Gwen providing odious comic relief every other moment. Like, shit, Marvel, if you like dumb jokes so much, why don’t you just get Mike and the Bots to riff your movie? That’s pretty much what you’re doing anyway.

12. Peter’s new costume has no fingers on the gloves, so he’s leaving his prints everywhere. And then after the fight is over, the first thing he does is unmask and go out to get a drink with an also unmasked Mysterio in a crowded bar (hilariously, it literally turns out to be full of enemies who mean him harm). Jesus, movie, does he care about his secret identity or not?

13. Also, again, no quips from Spider-Man. And I thought the watchword for this corner of the MCU was that he was a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Now he’s fighting giant monsters? Yeah, even if it’s a con job, it’s a con job that could potentially kill millions of people. Doesn’t that seem like absurdly high stakes, considering? Remember the first Spider-Man movie, when the only stakes at the climax were Peter saving a bus full of kids and MJ? Would that really have been better if there’d been another five million buses the Green Goblin was threatening to drop?

14. We’re doing the whole “does Peter want to be Spider-Man or not?” story again. It’s weird how markedly inferior this take on that is to Spider-Man 2. This Spider-Man has a whole spy network and AI satellites backing him up (which doesn’t stop him from remarking that Mysterio is “the only one he can talk to about superhero stuff,” as if fifty people don’t know who he is). Maguire’s Spider-Man’s life was genuinely shitty because of his superheroing; he couldn’t be with the woman he loved! This Spider-Man... can’t mack on the girl that he inexplicably has a crush on out of nowhere. Not exactly the stuff of great drama.

15. Pause to point out what a naked plot device Tony giving Peter EDITH is. He couldn’t give it to Pepper? Rhodey? Steve? Like... anyone who’s more emotionally mature and experienced? It’s just a ridiculous conceit. Supervillains literally target Peter specifically because he possesses EDITH. Way to put the crosshairs on a sixteen-year-old boy, Tony ‘Depraved Indifference’ Stark.

16. “To my very wealthy crew!” Okay, so I guess Beck isn’t just doing this for the satisfaction of being a fake superhero, he sees this as enriching him and his henchmen somehow? How? It’s not like Captain America or Scarlet Witch are fabulously wealthy. I could see Stark as paying for their room and board and giving them an expense account, but that doesn’t seem worth going to the trouble of this whole Mysterio business for. Like I said, once you have the power to pull off fake/not-fake terror attacks, that’s a golden ticket already. Why couldn’t he do shit like Le Chiffre was doing in Casino Royale, playing the stock market with his fake catastrophes?

16a. And okay, so you say the whole Mysterio thing was just to con EDITH off of Peter. If they’re already able to pull off these terror attacks, how much more can EDITH do for them? It’s like, you already have essentially unlimited resources as far as the story’s concerned--why do you need EVEN MORE unlimited resources?

16b. And is Mysterio going to be a real superhero or fake? Like, is he potentially going to fight Thanos or someone? Because if he is, the whole Elemental thing seems like an unnecessary risk. Just find some HYDRA guys, go to town on them, bang, you’re a superhero. And if you’re going to be a fake Avenger--well, what do you do when Thanos shows up? Call in sick?

17. So in his new, definitely Miles Morales suit, Peter has the ability to send out a destructive electric charge. A venom blast. He has a venom blast. Man, they’re not even trying to hide that this is white Miles Morales, are they?

18. To damn with faint praise, I thought the drone swarm was a good ‘real-world’ explanation of Mysterio’s power set and the ‘nightmare’ sequence was a good use of them, although it’s just the usual hallucinatory imagery you’d expect from someone with an illusion gimmick, not something as groundbreaking as the Raimi movies offered. Coincidentally, this is also the one action sequence in the movie where Peter’s in his classic costume, and that’s only an illusion Mysterio puts over his dumb Night Monkey suit.

I also think Peter being able to survive being hit by a train more or less uninjured--he just needs a few stitches!--is a bit much, but then, that happened in Spider-Man 2.5 as well. And there they made a big deal of Peter and Ock trying to avoid getting hit by trains, so arguably that was more egregious.

And it’s weird to have such a self-aware, genre-savvy villain just assume Peter is dead. It seems like he could’ve at least sent someone to the next station to confirm his death, or even had someone waiting there, if his plan all along was to hit Peter with a train. (Also, I’m pretty sure train conductors stop the train when they hit someone, but maybe that’s only an American thing.)

19. By the end, Mysterio decides to drop the whole illusion thing to frame Spider-Man for the drones (Peter’s friends are also put in danger yet again. Three times in one movie! That’s basically every action sequence that really happens!). I’d think disorienting people with invisible drones would be an advantage you wouldn’t want to just get rid of, but he’s the supervillain, not me. Noticeably, this plan hinges on him dying and posthumously ruining Spider-Man’s life, so...

20. Also, I complained about this with Captain Marvel, but if you’re doing a two-hour movie with a supposed character arc for Peter, shouldn’t that have something to do with him winning? He pretty much only wins because the power of spider-sense which he arbitrarily received arbitrarily works for him after arbitrarily not working for a while... and if this is some kind of confidence-powered superpowers, I should note that Spider-Man 2 already did Peter losing his powers because of losing confidence and it depicted him getting them back much more effectively. This Peter I guess only needs a pep talk from Happy Hogan.

21. I mean, couldn’t they bullshit something about hacking EDITH--you know, Peter using his wits since that’s what supposedly makes him ‘the next Iron Man’--maybe turning the tables on Mysterio with a con job of his own, instead of just winning because he happens to have an illusion-proof superpower on top of a billion-dollar supersuit and a literal global defense network? Spider-Man has a global defense network, y’all. How can you lambaste Man of Steel for making Superman dark and broody and then think Iron Man Peter Parker is a good take on the character? Geez.

#spider-man

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bb-8irl · 5 years

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I can’t believe I’m doing this again. The number of times I try to write out my feelings towards TROS, I always feel like I haven’t worded it properly, or haven’t said what I’ve needed to say. Or that I still have much to say when I’m done. But after seeing this movie three times, with having a week between the second and third I think I’ve got this. Also, I’m naturally optimistic, so this will probably come off more positive than negative, but I have a lot to say so I literally how no clue how this is going to go.

Heads up this is hella long, do bare with me. And I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out how to do the read more thing.

First, what Star Wars means to me.

To some people, it’s just movies, and yes it is. But they are some of my favorites, even though they are imperfect, I fall in love with the idea of a galaxy far far away. They take me to a world that I can escape to. They have given me characters that I adore, many of which I see parts of myself in, while others inspire me. As a kid I never really saw myself as a princess, I loved princess movies but I never felt like I fit in with them. No, I felt like a Jedi, I felt like this was a world I belonged to. I love the movies, the tv shows, comics, and books. Why do I think this is important to share, mainly for perspective and where I come from when I say what I say about TROS. You don’t have to be a life long fan to have an opinion on this, but this is just from a certain point of view. I’m a Reylo, and I’m going to have strong opinions as a SW fan and as a Reylo. Some opinions that you may agree or disagree with. I’m not here to argue. And I’m not here to say someone cannot feel differently towards any of this.

Where to start?

Well point blank, as an overall Star Wars movie what did I think? I don’t hate it, I don’t think it’s perfect and I think there are MANY problems with it and I really don’t wanna give JJ or Chris any credit for anything good that did come from this movie. But I can’t say that it was a horrible movie, I’d being lying if I said I wasn’t entertained. But it wasn’t great, and really missed the target.

So the writing…

Let me say first that I’m not a writer, or at least not professionally, I write for my own enjoyment in my free time. But in terms of the story we were given, it was…well again I didn’t hate it. But especially after thinking about it, and I know I can’t change anything, but I just wish it didn’t feel like the entire story revolves around Palpatine. Now I like the idea of Palpatine coming back, it does make sense since this mother fucker has been stirring the damn pot and has always had his hand in things. And as much as I actually love the opening sequence, I think it would have been more interesting to see in the in at least first act to see how everything for the resistance and first is going before Palpatine makes himself known. But if were gonna just talk about the literal writing, it was fine, especially Carrie’s scenes I think they did well writing them to try and make it fit. Star Wars in general for writing I give some lenience, just cause the writing has never been perfect, it’ll have its moments but not perfect. So yeah that’s where I stand with that.

Now breaking it down. What did I think? What I liked and didn’t like. What I would have done different.

The title scroll…again it just felt very Palpatine centric when I feel like it could have been a little less of him in the start.

Kylo fighting on Mustafar…HOT it’s fucking HOT because he’s HOT and it’s fucking HOT on Mustafar. Now it was after the fact of the first and second time I saw the movie that I found out he was on Mustafar, which makes sense plot wise if you know all the details of why he’s on Mustafar…and maybe I just didn’t identify they planet well and it’s just me who didn’t notice it was Mustafar. (JK it wasn’t just me, I told my roommate and she was pissed that they didn’t give us any helpful clues.) But I feel like that was something that maybe could have used a bit better of an explanation.

Kylo literally not having the time of day to deal with Palpatine. BIG MOOD BRO. And like that’s

He’s done being a puppet, he’s not playing around. And I’m proud of my boy for that. Also just the fact that he’s protective boyfriend literally not having it, there’s literally nothing he can be offered that can sway him from Rey.

It was interesting to kinda get a look at how how connected they are. (Hello force soulmates.) I did like seeing how their their memories really do intertwine into one. But I don’t really give JJ or Chris any of the force bond credit. That’s probably the one good thing they took from what Rian left them with and didn’t have to do a 180 on it. But again the force bond was Rian’s creation, they on expanded on it.

Now I like how Poe and Rey butt heads, it’s honestly how I expected that to go. Meanwhile Finn is in the middle of it, trying to keep his little sister and boyfriend from breaking into a full on MMA fight. Overall the trio was cute, I wouldn’t really change much about it honestly. Though they really gave us barely any Rose action which was sincerely disappointing.

Though it was a small interaction, Kylo and Hux was funny. I truly love how much they hate each other, comedic gold.

Pasana party looks like hoot and half. But they really had her look at a group of kids, and have a conversation about how Rey doesn’t have a last name, and played the whole oh she will get something like this by the end…bruh…it’s fine I’ll discuss that more later.

Rey and Bens first force Skype in TROS. He really said, “Palpatine wants you dead.” As a conversation starter, what a Solo. Anyways their conversation was angsty AF, and I expected nothing less than that. I love when he asks her why she didn’t take his hand she asks back, “You could have killed me. Why didn’t you?” And what I love from that is how she, at least from my perspective, answered his question with that question. Because the answer would be because I care/love you too much to ever hurt you. And I’ll bring this up later, but it kinda foreshadows what Rey tells him later.

He ripped that necklace off. And maybe I should have been offended…but that was…

FINN WAS NOT GOING TO TELL REY HE LOVES HER. I just really needed to say that. Also I know I caught on quicker than most but honestly the minute Finn says “It’s Ren.” My thought process was and I quote. “Mother fucker do you have something you would like to share with the class?” I kinda caught onto the early on that he is force sensitive.

And I’ll cover that topic now real quick. I love Finn, and I honestly am so happy for him. Them making him force sensitive doesn’t bother me, again happy for him. From a writing standpoint though I feel like JJ did that for when people try to say “oh you ruined about how it doesn’t matter where you come from, the force doesn’t care about bloodline.” This is where he points his finger and goes “see, look, we don’t know his bloodline.” And you know I hope that there are better intentions in that, but I wouldn’t be surprised if at least some of the intention was for JJ to try and cover his ass. Regardless I like Finn being force sensitive. But I feel like they were too subtle about to be introducing something like that so late in the game. It kinda just left a lot of people confused.

Also, Poe is a jealous boyfriend…nuff said.

And it was cute how BB-8 kinda had a learning lesson from Rey when she says, “you would have done the same.” When referring to force healing. And then BB-8 kinda uses that concept for D-O when he charges him.

Continuing on to the flip over the tie fighter was epic, shout out to Katie McDonnell who preformed that specific stunt. (I know she’s not the only stunt double, I’m just a fan of Katie, but major props to the whole stunt team.)

Oh and Kylo on Pasana is also…

Also the Chewie fake out I saw coming which kinda ruined anything emotional JJ was trying to pull on me.

Ok now to Kimji stuff.

Zorii is a cool character. I can buy the history the two had. You get a good feel for past chemistry but I like that she actually doesn’t wanna kiss him. Like I will kiss almost anyone (not Jabba the hut) in Star Wars (ok there’s a fair amount I wouldn’t) but Poe is on that list of whom I would kiss. So props to her for being all been there done that. And Babu Frik is precious.

Force Skype number 2. Firstly I‘m happy to hear the words “I never lied to you.” Come out of Kylos mouth. I’ve just always found that very important thing about him is how honest he is to Rey. He’s not a liar, he’s not deceptive, it’s not really in his character to do so, and specially to Rey I don’t think he would ever consider lying to her.

Ok…

The Rey Palpatine situation. I don’t love it but I also don’t hate it…but I don’t like it for sure. I can accept it as canon, but it leaves me with more questions…before I say what I would have done let me just first say this. I have questions on who the fuck did Palpatine fuck. This also just has me questioning the timeline and everything, especially watching it all again. I just started asking where everything falls into the timeline, was he part of raising his son, like there’s a lot of missing pieces, and it kinda just makes me ask why it was it was so important to make her a Palpatine. But like sure if I turn my brain off…ok…Rey is a Palpatine…sure, whatever makes the fanboys shut up on trying to make her a blood related Skywalker. And honestly JJ you don’t get credit for making Anti fanboys shut up. But at least they look EXTRA dumb now when they still try and make her related to Ben.

But ok, now lets really address this. It really was not that necessary to make her Palpatine and sure, yeah it happened. But I really liked the direction Rian was going with in TLJ, that it doesn’t matter who you, that anyone can be force sensitive, that it doesn’t matter where you come from, or who your parentage is, it’s just the matter of the force. What I wish they had went with was this idea that Rey was kinda born for the darkness and Ben for the light, just something very basic. And because they are kinda fighting for the opposite of which the were “created” for it causes a weird shift in the force. It would have fit will with what Rian had already written, explain why Rey is so strong with the force, being Bens equal, and quite literally it would barely change anything that was already there. Literally just changing any lines that involve Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter. Related or not Palpatine could have known of Rey and was trying to seek here out, her parents wanted to protect leaving her on Jakku, telling Plutt they were selling her for drinking money to make sure there was nothing suspicious going on. Everything happens ala TFA and TLJ, Ben finds out where Rey is suppose to belong in the force, he tells her, she hates it because it’s everything she doesn’t want to be. We get it the ending and Palpatine does the whole kill me and because what you were created to be, Empress of the galaxy and harness all the sith. BOOM. You didn’t have to fuck with her parentage, you didn’t have to try to find loopholes in what Rian gave you. Cause all the shit I just wrote out, I’d believe, I’d that believe more than the whole Palpatine thing.

Hux was the spy…well I knew he was gonna be up to some bullshit but I didn’t expect that. And while I think that was an interesting twist I kinda was hoping with Hux something a little different. Kinda the same concept of “I need Kylo Ren to loose.” I feel like again if we started a bit before the whole Palpatine shit happens, it would have been interesting to see Hux trying to undermine Kylo. I was hoping to have seen Hux die, but I feel like his part was kinda thrown away. Again, there could have been great potential with him trying to “dethrone” Kylo. I never thought Hux as dumb and so it just felt like we missed out on him trying to take the power.

I love Jannah, I think she was a great character for Finn to relate to. But I’m just saying we had a good set up for a Stormtrooper rebellion…just saying that was some missed potential.

The Rey versus Dark!Rey stuff was cool, and I expected it to be something short, but just saying it would have been cool to have seen a bit more of that. AND would have been cool if it were a vision Ben had seen though.

“You can’t go back to her now. Like I can’t.” Oh my sweet baby boy. The crazy thing is too though is that he probably could have gone back, which is something he realizes when Leia reaches out to him not long after. But you know he wants to go back and truly feels helpless and can’t.

Also he crushed the Wayfinder with one hand…

The water fight was pretty epic. I was happy to see specifically in this fight and the final fight later on that they were fighting in a very similar way to the prequel Jedi. Like that shit is epic.

Ok and that moment when he stops himself from striking Rey, knowing that no matter how upset he might be at her, and how upset she is with him he never wants to hurt her.

Also I predicted that Leia’s death would be the starter for Bens redemption, and again I really felt for my baby boy. Also I definitely verbally screamed “No!” When Rey impaled him with his lightsaber.

Rey force healing Ben is a tender moment.

Now I know some people don’t like this, but I understand why Rey says, “I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” And I get it. When we go back to when she asks him why he didn’t kill her it’s that same kinda answer he would give. She cares/loves him to much to see him destroyed. She knows that her following him to the dark side would turn him into something he’s not, and turn her into something she’s not. I know a lot of people find this as her not being able to accept him as Kylo, and I think she accepts him for all that he is, but doesn’t want him to loose who he really is. Because as Kylo has lived a tortured destructive life, and she wants him happy. She already knows the side he doesn’t let anyone but her see, and I think she knows that he would loose that. And then from her perspective for herself, Rey has never wanted power, or the want to rule. When he offered her his hand, and offered her basically everything he could, she never wanted any of that, you see that with Palpatine she’s never wanted to rule. Her saying she wanted Bens hand, it’s her telling him she doesn’t need anything but him for her to be with him and love him. And he’s never had that. With Luke he was the prize student, with Snoke he had to live up to this expectation of being Vader and being told he was never good enough. And Rey is there telling him that Ben is enough. It’s the equivalent of Ben saying, “you’re nothing. You come from nothing. But not to me.” He didn’t care where she came from, he loved her just for her, as she loves him for him.

(Wow that was a lot…but I at least think I finally got that out.)

Moving on.

I was so glad that they basically addressed the Han/Ben scene from TFA. For me it was always easy to see Bens struggle in that moment, I’ve always been empathetic with him cause I think of just about everything he had to do this was the most painful and regretful thing he’s ever done. And having to relive was so heartbreaking, but it important for him and important for the audience as a whole. This whole scene, as painful as it is, is healing. With Rey starting with healing him and his scar to him having to have that memory/conversation with his Father.

And yes I was absolutely broken by “Dad.” “I know”. I was so wrapped up in my emotions it took me the third time to realize that was their I love you.

So Rey going back to Ahch-to, and having her conversation with Luke. And like…again the whole Rey Palpatine thing, again fine it’s canon…this is fine. But this would have been so much less explanation…like I really feel like they made it harder for themselves by making her a Palpatine. But…fine it’s in canon.

Also Leia is a Jedi! Which was already hinted to with Leia training Rey. And Leia is continuously one of my favorite characters…but I never pinned her down to actually go through full on Jedi training. I can believe that she got byLuke but ok no she went all the way. And it’s not out of character for her to just hide something from the family, though this does almost butt heads against canon in terms of Han never even knew she trained…so JJ you kinda made another plot hole…you tried to cover it up, Jedi Leia is a cool concept, and the fact we needed two lightsabers cause someone decided to throw his into the ocean I see why you did it…but bro…she didn’t need be a Jedi to train Rey.

And ok the “some things are stronger than blood.” Which is a great message for her, which I’m just saying could have been used regardless of her parentage. But I digress.

Ok so the Exegol stuff.

Just kinda standard dialogue between Rey and Palps. Again if I could change it, it would really just be her not being his grandfather. The more I think about it the more unnecessary it becomes.

I know some people wanna question how Ben even got to Exegol, that’s honestly a plot hole I don’t mind waiting for the novelization to explain, doesn’t bother me, just thought I’d address it.

And seeing Ben Solo running in with nothing but a blaster in his hand, no plan, just his wife on his mind.

ALSO “ow!” Is the one Ben Solo line we got and it may be the one line…but says so much about Ben Solo.

And man the look that Rey and Ben give each other through the bond, that was the look of love and trust. And when she passes over the lightsaber and Ben freaking goes.

And then he takes on the Knights of Ren…

Oh I should address the Dyad situation. Honestly I’m all for anything that confirms that they are literal soulmates in the force. I mean we all kinda called this happening, now there is a literal name for this.

I will say I loved getting to hear from the Jedi, that was a touching moment, yeah it would have been cool to have actually seen them in force ghost form but that’s me being nit picky. Also would I have loved to have seen it be both Rey and Ben defeat Palpatine, they both have been fucked with by Palpatine. But it doesn’t bother me to see Rey defeat him. It again was just kinda a missed opportunity.

Now watching Ben pull himself from that pit and use every last bit of energy he has to get to Rey, scooping her into his arms, looking around helplessly, and hugging her close. Everyone could literally see the inner monologue he was having and my heart was BREAKING. JJ you don’t they any credit for that, Adam is just wonderful and amazing, and is the only one who deserves credit for that.

He gave her his life. HE FUCKING GAVE HER HIS LIFE!

(Heads up I’m just gonna first talk about from here on till I reach the end before I start talking about changes or things I would have done different…not to mention the thing that really has me upset.)

Now I see the full circle in terms of “finishing what Vader started”, that the whole big reason for Anakin's fall to the dark side was because he wanted to save the person he loved more than anything. So ok I see what you did there JJ, but by no means did that mean that he had to die…but I’m getting ahead of myself.

And can we talk about how Rey looks at him, I really don’t think she realizes what he’s actually done, but she just looks at him with love and adoration oh my fucking heart.

THEY KISS FOLKS REYLO CONFIRMED. They have canonized Reylo…painful as fuck after that so yeah.

And then it happens. Now ok…I have many feelings. But let’s just go with the fact that what’s happened…happened. Fact of the matter is he gave his life to Rey. Now it’s hella romantic, and I do think that if they had tried to kill him any other way I would be fuming (well I kinda am still). But yeah had it been any other way I would have rioted.

And then we get to the ending…celebration is cute. RIP Snap Wexley btw. Then we get to Tatooine. Now it took me a the THIRD time of seeing that movie to actually maybe understand what they were getting at. First two times I was like “really, this is how we end it?” And I’m still saying that, but I understand why she bury’s the lightsabers, it is a sense of closure for the Skywalkers. I’m just gonna assume Tatooine is not a permanent situation…that’s what I would hope at least. And I’m not too mad about her taking the name Skywalker, I guess since she just has to be a Palpatine, I wouldn’t wanna keep the Palpatine name either. And so as far as I know her and Ben are fucking married so let her take on the family name.

Was that ending what I would consider satisfying though? No, not really. Her lightsaber is cool and I’m glad she has one, but not still not satisfied.

Why am I not satisfied you might ask.

Here’s why.

Now if this is me excepting the fact of the matter that Ben is dead. I mainly have a problem with the fact that the ending is almost too vague and gives the audience little to no explanation. Sure I can be left to my assumptions and I’ll get to those, but the majority of the audiences initial interpretation of that ending is, Rey is now going to be just as she started, alone on a desert planet…like bro wtf. This could have been explained so much better, especially the fact that we specifically see Luke and Leia as force ghost. Look I’m gonna assume since I see no ghost Ben is either still with/part of Rey…or because there’s a chance of him coming back. But you could have explained it so much better, and I’m gonna read the novelization with hopes that there is a better explanation. The ending as a whole just felt incomplete, maybe because it was a lack of explanation or maybe something else. But this was suppose to be the end of 9 movies, you can explain yourself a bit more.

Now lemme talk about Bens death. While I would never accept him dying any other way, his death is what I would consider to be unnecessary. And I’m repeating what I said before, but I agree he finished what Vader started, saving the one they love from death, but that doesn’t mean he had to die. Like there’s literally in terms of the plot was no reason for him to die, it doesn’t further anything. Yes Rey is alive, but this is Star Wars all you have to say is “because the force wills it” and that’s all the explanation you would need. Oh Rey and Ben both get to live because the force wills it, because they are Dyad in the force, because they are the balance in the force. Live together, die together. They literally did not say anything about the consequences of force healing, so you literally have freedom to do whatever want. It would not have been impossible for Ben to of had a future, maybe not go to the resistance, but his life, his actual life was just beginning. Since he was in his mother’s womb he was being manipulated by Snoke, his life is turned upside down when his uncle was going to kill him, he runs to the one person he trusts in the galaxy who just so happens to turn out to be his abuser. He gets to be Ben solo for 15 minutes, has literally less than a minute of pure happiness…AND THEN KILL HIM. What’s the point?!?! JJ you literally retconed yourself with the whole die together thing and then kill ONE of them…how do you fuck yourself that badly. IT WAS LITERALLY IN THE SAME SEQUENCE.

And what’s the point of Rey looking at a group of children, probably wondering what it would be like to have a family to then leave her alone like that!

“I always hated that in movies, when you go along and one of the main characters gets killed. It’s a fairytale. You want everybody to live happily ever after and nothing bad happens.” - George fucking Lucas

And yes of course some people will die, it’s a war after all. But when he talks about this journey with a character, it’s not only cliche and over done, it’s just not necessary. Especially when it’s Star Wars a space fairytale where it should end with “and they all lived happily ever after.”

And let me give you perspective from those around me who never shipped Reylo. Firstly a friend who I saw it with my second time around who we’ve talked before about how she’s had in summary said “well I like Kylo more than I like Hux or Snoke.” And her leaving that theatre left her saying “I never realized how much I love Ben Solo.” And then was crushed by the fact that they decided to kill him. Another instance in my step sister who I encouraged to watch Star Wars, though she had no interest, she watched all the movies to humor me. And she knows I ship Reylo, and knows Ben is one of my favorite characters. We saw the movie last night and she, who has no attachment to him at all literally texted me about him dying and said “THAT WAS DEPRESSING” followed it by “I liked it. Like it wasn’t bad. But why did he die. That was totally unnecessary.” And we talked about the ending and how she did perceive Rey as being lonely on Tatooine. And I don’t wanna generalize what the general audiences perception is…but for a lot of people who don’t look too deeply into things, or theorize what things could mean, that’s what they are more than likely going to think.

Anyways, if I had my hands in on this Ben would not be dead. They would kiss, profess each others love. Ben would tell her to go to her friends and to meet him later. Rey would go and celebrate and then tell them she needs to go. She flies the falcon and meets up with Ben, ideally on Naboo. They take the lightsabers Padme’s mausoleum and leave the lightsabers there. Both Ben and Rey rebuild their lightsabers. Bens lightsaber would be white because let’s just say he somehow gets his crystal back and heals it, and Rey’s yellow. It ends with them in the field where Anakin and Padme once were and watch the sunset.

Hm…I don’t know about you but that sounds pretty fucking satisfying.

Now I could get into the fact that I do believe there are deleted scenes, there are different endings and they really thought that was the most satisfying one. And personally I would like to see them, so DFL if you see this, bring it on, you owe us this. That and if you were to give me comics or a novelization of Ben Solo bring brought back to life via world between worlds or whatsoever I will would like that and appreciate it. It’s not like it’s the first time you killed a character and then said “ha you thought they were dead but they’re not.” I just really think Ben deserves more time than what he was given. But I’m not gonna go crazy about how the ending was fucked around with or the alternative ones, I know it’s out there, and a lot of other people have already made post on it.

The movie as a whole is just kinda one big missed opportunity. Not all of it was bad, it had some moments, some things that I even really enjoyed. I appreciated them building onto the force bonds, but I give that credit for Rian cause those wouldn’t have happened without him. And it also just bothers me that JJ really just tried to take the long way around and stretch things around to make it fit with what Rian wrote. When in reality you had a great set up. You have some kind of insight into Rey, that she is drawn to the dark. Ben is supreme leader now what could that mean, and what could Hux possibly be up to. We could have seen some of the rebuilding of the resistance. The idea that maybe it is time for the Jedi order to end, that Ben is right that it’s time to let old things die, the Jedi and sith. And they just messed with it to no end to kinda make sense but, took the most complicated and exhausting route to get to where they did.

My roommate and I literally sat for about an hour discussing what we would have done and realized we had a more cohesive story that lines up with where Rian left off. Like…they really used all their brain cells on how to make Rey being a Palpatine work when that didn’t have to be a thing, they focused all their energy on making Palpatine be part of the whole movie which was not necessary, for the whole plot.

So this isn’t left on an negative, everyone performance wise was amazing. All this above is not a reflection on any of the actors. Daisy showed some incredible growth as an actress and in Rey. Adam was amazing as always and is truly a genius when it comes to understanding his character. Oscar and John were on point, and as far as I know Finn and Poe end up settling down together and stormpilot is canon in my eyes. All my love to The ENTIRE cast.

I know this was a lot, if you actually read all of this I really appreciate it. A lot of this I needed to just get off my chest. I’ll probably have more things to say later on, maybe my mind will change after thinking about something. But for now this is it. Thanks for reading this, hope it all makes sense. I hate to ever say negative things, I like to be positive and optimistic but it’s better to not suppress any of these feeling either.

May the force be with all of you. Always.

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