#i will never forgive bruce for not telling dick jason died / having the funeral without him

[audhd-nightwing]

things in DC canon i’ll literally never get over

1. dick finds out batman replaced him as robin (without asking him) from the NEWSPAPER and simultaneously finds out bruce adopted a new kid without telling him (to make things worse: bruce didn’t even adopt dick)

2. dick finds out jason died from the newspaper (AGAIN? REALLY BRUCE?) and bruce had the fucking funeral WITHOUT HIM while he was still in space

[intriq]

Letters - Alfred

after the reader's death, in a time after part 1 and before part 2, the batfam receives therapy and as part of their therapy, they write grief letters to you, the reader.

Italics are used to represent smudged words due to tears

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Dear Little Moon,

I hope you’ve been… well. I hope things are doing better for you, certainly much better than they were a few months ago.

Better than how things have been for me, at least.

The others don’t stop by the manor much anymore. Cass sticks to your old bedroom, Duke seems to wander aimlessly, Jason and Steph seem to visit your grave just as much as Tim and Barbara have lately.

But most of all, Bruce is always in his study or in his room, and Dick? He hasn’t come around once since you’ve died. I’ve only overheard he’s been locking himself inside his apartment in Bludhaven.

Everyone thinks he’s punishing himself for your death, and he certainly is. But if anyone should be punished for your death, I’d say it should be me.

I.. I was the one that pulled the trigger, after all. The one that took you away from this world, as dark as Gotham may be.

You always did find a way to be some sort of light for everyone around you, even when you were a child. I always wondered how you could appear so happy all the time despite how often you cried because of your nightmares.

I spend most of my time keeping busy. Cooking meals Bruce won’t eat, cleaning again and again. Sometimes spend a few hours out of my day looking through pictures of you.

I remember how, on your tenth birthday, you wanted to go to the zoo. The one that recently opened in Metropolis, specifically.

You’d even practically begged for Bruce to come with, and I can still remember just how often you’d dragged him around to see all the things you wanted to see. While he may have seemed unamused, he was certainly happy to keep you entertained.

I even remember how long you spent looking for a gift for Bruce’s birthday that year, too. His sixteenth birthday and you wanted to make sure it was a gift he’d really like.

Truly it didn’t quite matter. He would’ve liked anything you got him, even if it was some toy from the store or anything else you quite liked at that age.

I keep most photos the manor has up of you in my room now. Ever since your funeral, ever since your death, no one’s been really able to walk in through the manors front entrance.

When they do, they usually sit there for a few minutes and stare at those photos. Or just shut their eyes and briskly walk past.

Do you remember all the times we’d spend in the manors kitchen when you were younger? How often we’d make something- anything- to make you feel better?

I certainly do.

I remembered how often you’d get at least something everywhere. Whether it was flour, sugar, or even eggs, you always managed to make a mess. But that’s fine, because I could never tire out of cleaning those up with you.

I would give anything, in fact, to have to clean up flour or cake batter off the kitchen floor at some random hour in the night again.

I would give anything to come downstairs to the manors kitchen and see you baking because you were stressed over school or something at work. I would give anything to have to wake you up in the morning because you slept through your alarm.

I’d give anything and everything to be able to talk to you again, my little moon.

But I also wonder if you’d resent me. Do you hate me, for having to kill you? Do you hate me as much as I hate myself? Would you ever be able to forgive me for what I did one day? Or would you tell me that it was okay, that I did what I had to?

I so desperately wish that things could be different. I want them to be. You used to jokingly say we wouldn’t be able to do function as a family without you, and truly? You were right. We can’t function. Much less look each other in the eyes.

The family dinners you used to love so much have been dwindling. Becoming less and less often, with less and less of the others showing up. But I think it’s because they can’t help but stare at your empty seat when they do.

I still sometimes forget you aren’t here for dinner anymore. Still make your favorite dish, set up a plate just for you in your seat, only to be reminded. I think that’s why Bruce doesn’t eat outside of his study now.

Bruce feels like he failed you. Jason, Barbara, and most of all, Dick, too. But if anyone failed you, it was me. I could’ve tried to look for other options before killing you, but I didn’t.

Even though the question of “what could we have even done” is there, I can’t help but think I could have done something different. Something that didn’t have the outcome of me having to watch you, my child, get buried before me.

There are so, so many things I still wish to see. I want to see you grow up more, see you achieve all the things you dreamed. But now I won’t even have that chance. You won’t even have the chance to one day see Damian graduate, which is something I know you were excited to see. Nor will you get to see Cassandra graduate, either.

They’ll probably still have a seat reserved for you anyway. Right in the front row. I’m positive they’ll still mention you in their graduation speech, just as the others did.

I’m sure they will remember you for a long, long time. I know we will all remember you for a long time. You are nowhere near as replaceable as you used to think you were.

It’s a fact that you aren’t replaceable to me, either, my child. My little moon.

-Alfred Pennyworth

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[squishneedsahero]

Really Really

Awesomest of Them All 2.0

Part 8 of 13

Word Count: 1166

Batman x Batmom!Reader

You know what the bat family needs? Someone to pull them together and give them all the love they deserve. Who better to do that than you? An author rising to stardom in Gotham who catches the eye of a billionaire with your standoffish attitude at a huge social gathering. You are yourself and never pretend to be more or less than that. Plus you're the most stubborn person in the world, refusing to let good things go without reason.

This is a rewrite of my story Awesomest of Them All, I wanted to see how much I've improved over 3 years.

"Morning Mom."

"Good morning Dick," you say hugging your oldest son as he sits on the couch next to you. You had been having a hard time since Jason died a couple months previously.

Bruce had thrown himself into being Batman to cope with his grief of not being able to save Jason. This hadn't helped you cope, since you relied on having your husband there when you needed him, just like you were there when he needed you. This had lead to Dick moving back in, worried about you not taking care of yourself.

"How'r you doing?" He asks for what feels like the millionth time.

You purse your lips and avoid the question, "How are you doing?"

"Mom."

You sigh, "I'm alright Dick, how are you?" You ask yet again, knowing that he isn't doing great after having lost his brother, despite the fact that he was trying to take care of both you and Bruce.

"I'm good mom," he says and gives you a kiss on the cheek, hugging you tightly.

"That's good, I need you to take care of yourself."

"I need you to do that too mom," he retorts.

You laugh, your weird sense of humor remained despite the grief, "no, I'm the mom I get to tell you what to do, you don't get to tell me what to do."

This joke relaxes him a bit, and lets him know you're doing alright today. "Fine, I'll drop it." He pauses before asking, "did dad talk with you last night?"

"No, why?" You ask.

"Uh, you should talk to him," Dick says.

You sigh and slump into the couch for a moment before looking at your now adult son, "I'll go find him and talk to him... it's about time I did that anyways. I'm getting tired of him ignoring me... you wouldn't happen to know where he is would you?" You ask as you kiss his head and stand up.

"He's in the cave, you can find your way there right?" He teases back.

You shake your head and laugh, "yeah I can find my way down there... thanks Dick," you say after a pause, glad he had motivated you to go talk with Bruce.

"S-so y-y-you're s-saying-g th-tha-t a thir-thir-thirteen," you can't continue because you're laughing the hardest you have in months.

"Yes a thirteen year old figured out that I'm Batman and all my secrets," Bruce says, trying to sound broody, but loving hearing your laughter again. You keep laughing and lean against your husband, and he wraps his arms around your waist.

After a few minutes you the two of you hugging each other in silence you mumble into his chest, "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," he says into your hair.

"So, who is the kid?"

"You know the Drakes?" Bruce asks, "yeah I know the Drakes I've had to try and hold a conversation with them many times..."

"Well, it is their son, Timothy. He's the one who figured it out. Came up to me last night on patrol and asked me where I learned to fight," Bruce laughs gently.

You laugh again, more gently this time, "I'm assuming he's keeping your secret?"

"Yeah, he said something about wanting to help me. He also said he hadn't told anyone else."

You grow quiet when he mentions the fact that Tim wants to help him, "I didn't give him an answer, but I feel he's stubborn and it would be better if I kept an eye on him than let him run off on his own."

You sigh gently, "I suppose you're right."

Your tone causes Bruce to pause yet again, he had been so caught up in everything going on that he had missed exactly how much you were hurting. He squeezes you against him before quietly saying, "my love, I'm sorry I haven't been there. Would you ever forgive me?"

You lean back to look at him better, "Bruce, of course I forgive you. We have to work through this for ourselves. How we do that is up to us."

"Yes, but I should have been there," he kisses your head.

"Bruce. Stop. I cannot handle you blaming yourself for everything that happened. We both know how impulsive Jason could be. He had a chance to save his birth mother, someone who had rejected him his entire life when he only ever wanted to be wanted. We tried to give that to him but that doesn't change the fact that woman hurt him to the point he felt he needed to redeem himself for her."

You take a breath, tears in your eyes but needing to finish your thought, "we cannot change what happened. We can only move forward and take his memory with us."

"I know, my dear, but I should have been there for you when you needed me. I've been so focused on everything else that I wasn't there for you, yet you've always been here for me," he leans down to kiss you.

You kiss back before speaking again, "you needed to grieve too. You can't keep living in the past and regretting things you should have done. You're here for me now and I need you to be here right now and that's what matters."

Bruce accepts your forgiveness and lets the subject of his many regrets drop. You were right. Regretting the past wouldn't lead to change, only moving forward would do that. He kisses you again, before offering to carry you upstairs so the two of you could spend some time together.

It's a few days later when you hear a voice behind you. You had been working on being around Bruce more, as it helped with your grief so you were sitting in the cave. You'd been working on your book again for the first time in a while.

"So this is the BatCave?!"

"Yes," you hear Bruce say in his broody™ voice. You turn around in the chair you had been curled up in in front of the computer, and raise an eyebrow at the boy who had come with him.

Then the boy notices you, "Hello, Mrs.Wayne."

"Hi," you say waving awkwardly and looking between the boy and your husband, a small smile coming to your lips.

"Tim?" You say walking up to stand next to the boy, your arm linked with Bruce's.

"Hi Mrs.Wayne," Tim says, trying to sound okay despite the fact that all of you had just attended his parent's funeral.

"How are you doing?" You ask the boy, unlinking your arm from Bruce's and putting your hand on Tim's shoulder.

"Good."

"Yeah?" You ask then continue, "Bruce and I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" Tim asks looking up at you.

"It's probably lonely in that big house of yours, if it would interest you you're welcome to move in with us."

"Really?" He asks as he wipes a tear from his cheek.

"Really really," you respond.

[abiik]

LET'S DO THIS! [rubs my little hands together gleefully] what was the best day of zoe's life (to date)? what about the worst day? how did she become close(r) with the batfam? any heroes she Doesn't get along with? where's the strangest place she's ever been? the farthest from home she's ever been? which villains does she have particular grudges against, if any? does she have a history with any specific villains/criminals? favorite animal? what music does she listen to? any tats/piercings?

my!! heart!! is!! soaring!! im so excited to gush!!

- what was the best day of zoe's life?

hmmm. this one's kind of hard. she's had plenty of amazing days in her life: the twins being born, beating donna in a fight for the first time, the day she remembered jason and realized he was alive. i think one particular best day was the first time she ever managed to fly without crashing.

- worst day?

zoe's had a few bad days in her life. probably about four or five have been the worst days of her life: the day her younger brothers died, the day her mother disappeared, the day she found out jason died, the day kai disappearee, and the day she returned to gotham to tell everyone she was back - but most importantly, dick. the first two happened within about a year or two of each other. her baby brothers - twins and the absolute lights of her life - were murdered by the joker before zoe officially moved to gotham. her mother left soon after, fucking distraught over their deaths, and then z was left with her older brother, her uncle, and her gran-gran. then life just went on. and then jason's death happened and it hurt even worse bc one) once again, that fucking CLOWN was taking away someone she cared about so much, and two) bruce didn't tell her when it first happened. she found out after the funeral and fucking blew up. needless to say, that began her downward spiral before her own 'death.' then, she found out, that kai had disappeared. just up and left where he was going to school and was never seen again. zoe didn't know about it soonet bc someone was posing as him, sending her messages as kai, posting pictures, pretending to be kai. and then she found out it wasn't kai. this too kind of led to zoe's own disappearance.

and then the day she returned to announce she was back. zoe probably dreaded this day the most. she knew what she'd done, that she'd just up and left - yeah, sure, it was to save the people of her home planet and to stop her father's reign - but then she'd started drinking to forget. she didn't die from the fight with her father like they said she did, but she was pretty injured, and one of the worst injuries was her head. drinking to forget the people she loved, willingly, instead of letting it all come back, no matter how painful, emotionally and physically, was a dick move. and then to come back to people who thought she was dead, who mourned her, and hope that everything could go back to a semblance of what was before? dick, most specifically, was pissed. not only at zoe, but bruce and diana and everyone involved in the cover up of zoe's 'death.' it hurt zoe to have hurt dick like that and then he said he needed space to think it over and reality kind of hit zoe then, that things wouldn't be the same between them.

- how did she become close(r) with the batfam?

she became closer to the batfam through diana - and by becoming a vigilante herself! zoe's great grandfather is chief who diana was close with in my verse, and diana has always just kind of been present in zoe's family history ever since. so when z's mom left and her uncle took her and kai in, diana was also there to help. diana was the one who got her uncle a job in gotham and enrolled them in school. diana also started training zoe more closely and thus, zoe grew closer to donna, who knew dick, as robin.

zoe became a vigilante on her own when she moved to gotham and it mostly started with protecting sex workers on the streets or people walking home. it's easy for a grown man to underestimate a tiny 12 year old girl and all of them were in for a pretty big surprise when she manages to knock them out with a single punch. diana started training zoe more exclusively then and during breaks, zoe would usually go to themyscira while kai would go home to the ranch. she kind of got on bruce's radar through both diana and her own chaotic antics around gotham. we all know bruce's anti-meta rule that he had before duke and we all know how territorial he is, so and when he decided to test her and she passed, only to say "you're not the boss of me!" and run off to continue doing her own thing, bruce was...kinda peeved but also definitely intrigued.

her main link to the batfam before jason, was dick, through donna, through the titans. z wasn't an official member of the og titans -- she didn't necessarily have a mentor/boss/parent figure as a superhero -- but she tagged along on some missions. she became friends with dick, started hanging out with him outside of vigilante work, and then because bruce was a little annoyed by ALL OF IT, decided to stick around to watch the old man squirm.

and then jason came around and they didn't necessarily hit it off right away, but eventually they both came around. z cracked enough jokes and they finally had a heart to heart about some shit, and then it was like they were connected at the hip. and THEN jason got his own titans group - it wasn't very long, but they all formed a close bond very quickly - and zoe just got more tied up in everything.

after his death, zoe stuck around for dick and alfred and bc even tho bruce kept it from her and refused to do anything about the joker, she respected his code and that he too was mourning. tim was robin almost directly after jason and z liked him well enough, they got along. she wasn't around for tim's run as robin for very long, however, after snapping and killing the joker (who for the sake of the story, did NOT atay dead), zoe wasn't really around bruce a lot. she mostly did her own thing like looking for kai and her mother.

and then her dad arrived. zoe sacrificed herself to protect the earth, ended up 'dying' to the rest of the world, and then wandered in space as a drunken amnesiac for like,,, six years fighting off her dad's attempts at fucking with the universe before she ended up back on earth tracking down info about her dad and kai. that's when jason, as red hood, alongside rose wilson (bc i fucks with her and eddie as jason's outlaws moreso than roy and kory) runs into her. there's a whole lot of other shit that happens; the reason z and jason run into each other again has to do with a missing ex-titans member and then z, being z, offers to help them find this ex-member and they all kind of help her get her memories back.

shit is kind of tough after coming back when everyone thinks you've been dead but really you've just been drinking away all of your thoughts of the people you loved ans who loved you and you left behind so that they cant be used against you. like zoe def thinks ACTUALLY DYING and coming back would be so much better than what she did.

dick is....reasonably upset when she comes back and explains what happened, even if he does understand what kind of shit head her dad is. and damian takes dick's side on it and kind of shuns zoe. so z ends up hanging out with jason and tim's horde of friends where she ends up adopting conner as her brother and becoming good friends with cass and steph.

damian comes around much later and it's only because he found out she could talk to animals and spent like his whole afternoon having her translate what each of his pets thinks of him and the rest of the family. and when duke comes around, he and zoe hit it off pretty quickly and he, jason, cass, and zoe all hang out often.

- any heroes she doesn't get along with?

bruce. kind of. they've got like a love hate relationship. she doesn't tolerate his bullshit and she's very protective of all of his kids when he starts isolating himself.

barbara at times bc zoe has a tendency to go off track and do what she thinks needs to be done and that can piss barbara off. other than that, though, they're cool with each other.

rose, at first. but then both of them were like "...cool girl....with a cool fucking sword....okay....i can fuck with that."

zoe gets along with a lot of people in general. there are probably a few that im missing but usually zoe's only got a problem with you if you've done something to hurt her, her family/friends, or you're a downright dick. she looks for the good in people and once you've lost her trust, it's really hard to win it back. so any hero that's done any of those things, zoe probably doesn't even acknowledge they exist.

- where's the strangest place she's ever been?

hmmm. def some far away planet in the galaxy. i do have a hc that she ends up going to a certain planet, gets jumped by bounty hunters while in the middle of a one night stand, fights them off, and her one night stand STILL wanted to have sex with her, covered in blood and guts. it was a strange night for sure.

(also i havent mapped out a lot of zoe's off world adventures so i cant give you more! sorry!)

- the farthest from home she's ever been?

zoe's made it to the edge of the galaxy.

- which villains does she have particular grudges against, if any?

THE JOKER. zoe hates that bitch with a burning passion.

harley. zoe is sympathetic towards her for the shit she went through with the joker but zoe also can't forgive that she did nothing when it came to her brothers' deaths.

her father.

ra's al ghul. just kind of in general with this guy.

lex luthor! bc of the shit that conner's been through with that dude

oh! and like trigon. fuck that guy!

scarecrow. the fear gas has worked on her once and she still has nightmares about it.

- does she have any history with any specific villians/criminals?

those mentioned above. her dad's associates.

selina kyle. but... in a good way. they're friends.

kai.

slade wilson.

ares.

she broke the penguin's nose once and it made jason lose his composure and giggle snort which led to zoe falling over laughing for like five minutes.

black mask.

- favorite animal?

zoe, honestly, would probably not be able to choose just one! i'm gonna choose three and say horses, bears, and eagles.

- what music does she listen to?

honestly tbh, anything! her playlists are full of a whole bunch of shit across the board. sometimes she'll listen to classics, sometimes she'll listen to obscure sea shanties, other times she'll dance around to the 2000s top hundred on repeat for three days straight. it's mostly just about what she's feeling.

- any tats/piercings?

yes!! she has a few ear piercings - two in the lobe and two in the cartilage on both sides - and a septum piercing!

she also has a tattoo along her left shoulder blade and down her back. it's of a chinese dragon with floral designs, particularly lillies and a cherry blossom tree. the design is mixed with chinese and navajo influence to represent both cultures.

send asks about zoe!