#i will never listen to her judgement of men again

[walder-138]

Questions for Annika, Jack, & Oswald:

What's this oc's biggest fear?

What's this oc's mental health state?

What's your favorite thing about this oc?

How does this oc feel about physical affection?

How does this oc get along with people they just met?

VICE!!!!! WHADDUP GIRL!!!! TYSM FOR THE ASK!!!!!

1) What’s this oc’s biggest fear?

Annika: People. Not in a social anxiety typa way (scared of judgement etc), but of what they are capable of. Annika has been exposed to human cruelty from a young age, growing up as a child soldier in a terrorist organization convinced her that every single person around her wanted to hurt her.

Over the years, her fear manifested into hate for humanity. It was never real hate, but ‘hate’ was the only label she could put on it without feeling like a coward. Fear is weak, Anya. Fear is weak. Hate and anger protected her; who wants to pet a rabid dog?

Jack: His scientific ‘research’ being exposed to the public. Jack is incapable of fear or anxiety; he’s a textbook sociopath, but he really doesn’t wanna stop performing his research and experiments (he worked on MK Ultra since he became a doctor) Seeing it flourish due to his involvement has been his greatest achievement, that being taken away from him would tear him apart.

Oz: Losing his daughter, Jenny. I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again; she’s the reason why he got off drugs following Vietnam and stopped being a verbally abusive misogynist to almost every single woman in his life. Oz knows that if he lost her, he’d most likely have a pretty bad relapse and fall back into his old bad habits.

2) What’s this OC’s mental health state?

Annika: Take a wild guess.

Jack: He’s balling honestly 😭 With everything that happened with Bell being a complete success, (assuming Annika isn’t Bell; she detonates the nukes) he basically saw his top project take off. Sure, the dumbasses in the safehouse didn’t listen to him about keeping Bell under that trance or whatever, but he can always start again; make another one.

Bro’s walking on sunshine!

In reality, Jack can’t feel anything. All of his emotions are fabricated. There could be a spark; of hope, or pity, or amusement, or some kinda love, but it’s never enough. He’s almost completely numb. He hates it sometimes, but Jack can’t miss what he’s never had.

Now about the state of his actual brain… uh ask Abbey about that. She fed him the curb

Oz: Shitty. He is constantly haunted by visions from his past. He can barely sleep at night without seeing his men -his sons- dead around him. The heroin, the morphine, and the LSD were the only things keeping him from having to see their mangled bodies scattered every time he blinked. Rehab helped him get over his addiction, but he hated talking to those damn prissy ass shrinks. But now that Jenny’s around, he can’t be high all the damn time, so Oz has to deal with it without any assistance from anyone but his ex.

He’s stressed, and he thinks he can’t do it anymore, but he wakes up every morning and does.

3) What’s your favorite thing about this OC?

Annika: How far her development’s come along. I based her off me when I play video games (I rage a lot 😭) and had to think about how, realistically, someone with an erratic fighting style would come to develop it. Since I die a lot, I figured Annika wouldn’t have any formal military training except by the terrorist organization she was raised in. I really wanted to make her a reflection of my video game playing style, and I’m happy to say that she does. Just with more depth now.

Jack: He’s not far along in his development process, so this will most likely change but so far, it’s how two-faced he is. When you talk to Jack, he genuinely seems like a nice guy that you’d wanna crack a couple cold ones with on a nice, hot day, while all of his ‘patients’ are horrified of him. Dudebro’s the reason Abbey doesn’t like British people 😭

Oz: I’ve got two things. How real he is. I’ll admit; a lot of my ocs are over exaggerated, but at least in my opinion, he’s the most realistic. I’ve made a post going slightly more into depth about this a while back. The other thing is that Oz is somehow my 2nd most morally stable character after all the shit he’s done 😭😭😭

4) What does this OC feel about physical affection?

Annika: She yearns for it. Annika’s never felt the loving touch of any individual that wouldn’t later be used to hurt her. Now, I’m not saying it’s a smart idea to abruptly give her a hug, unless you wanna pull back a bloody stump or you’re her girlfriend, as that scares her, tying back to her fear of people.

Jack: He doesn’t particularly care for it one way or another. Jack might tuck someone’s hair behind their ears if he’s being patronizing, or pat them on the shoulder to reassure them, he doesn’t really get anything from it. He won’t provide any physical contact if it doesn’t benefit him, unless it’s with his partner. Everyone else, even Jack’s own kids, can go to hell.

Oz: Oz is touched starved. At this point, he’d take any form of physical contact from anyone. The problem is, he doesn’t feel like he deserves it, so he recoils from it at every opportunity it’s shown. He says it’s unmanly, but if a woman even patted him on the cheek, bro’s getting a bit excited 🤭

5) How does this OC get along with people they just met?

Annika: Not well. Annika already hates the people she actually knows, introducing her to a person she doesn’t know will ensure hostility. Unless you’re going on a mission with her, she doesn’t want to know anything about you. She doesn’t want to know what you think about the weather. Her life wouldn’t be impacted if you lived or died, and she wants you to know it 😭If she can, Annika would just walk away after the initial greeting.

Jack: He’s the opposite of Annika, at least on the outside. He introduces himself, shakes your hand, and offers to take your coat. Very gentlemanly, especially to women and children. He presents himself as a genuine caring and kind man, giving gifts and offering to listen/help anyone around him. So whenever people (Abbey) accuse him of doing something, everyone tends to be like “Not Jack! He helped me sort through my divorce!” even if they barely know him, cause Jack’s just so damn polite.

Oz: Oz is extremely awkward. Most of the times when he’s meeting someone for the first time he just kinda stands there like🧍‍♂️waiting for his friend to finish talking so he can go watch the Patriots game. He isn’t rude about it though; he’ll smile and wave but he isn’t too good at small talk. Only when he starts to open up more will he start being the asshole we all know and love.

[strandsofgold]

starting to question my friend's judgement because she (in an attempt to get me to buy bg3 and play it) was talking about which characters she wanted to romance and listed a bunch of names, ending with "and pretty much all of them. except for gale", and I, not knowing who any of these characters were, was like, "damn, what did gale do?" and she said "gale is just twink without a dominant bone in his body and he's constantly trying to get in your pants!"

she was romancing astarion.

[leonspretty]

“slut!”

spencer had never told the team he had a girlfriend, never mind what her job was

masterlist

pairing: spencer reid x reader

tags: fem! reader, no y/n, reader is a stripper (not explicit), based on a tiny scene but idk what ep or season, fluff!

notes: i was watching spencer clips and i saw the scene of him from i think season 6 where he and Emily were in a strip club asking questions. Then I was listening to slut! by taylor and thought i could make this work somehow. this isnt me calling strippers sluts btw!!! i just know some guys who have called them sluts and i love the chorus of this song and figured i could make it into something.

wc: 1,468

“And if they call me a slut, You know it might be worth it for once” — Taylor Swift's "Slut!" (Taylor's Version) (From The Vault)

He honestly hadn't meant for his team to find out about you through him spilling about your job. He also hadn't meant to keep you as a secret but with the continuous cases recently, he hadn't had much chance to tell them about you.

Spencer asking the witness if her boyfriend had a problem with her job wasn't judgemental, it was a question they needed to ask, and he knew how some men reacted to finding out their girlfriends were strippers, you had told him enough stories from your own experiences to support this.

"It's how we met, so no. Why? Do you have a problem with it?"

"No I don't, actually my girlfriend is in the same line of work and also I'm from Vegas so-" He stopped his ramble early at Emily's pointed look. He had assumed it was because he was starting to ramble, but her look of, 'we need to talk' told him it was because of this new fact about him that she didn't know. Luckily, she dropped it for now and the rest of the talk went smoothly. The subject of a girlfriend wasn't brought up until they were back at the precinct.

"Got anything for us?" Morgan asked as Spencer and Emily walked in.

"Yeah, did you know Reid has a girlfriend?" Emily questioned, not giving Spencer a chance to say anything about the case. Morgan's face shot up in surprise as did JJ's, but Emily continued, "And get this, she's a stripper!"

Ignoring the looks he was getting, Spencer turned to Emily, his tone accusatory. "You say that like it's a bad thing." Immediately, Emily corrected herself.

"No, of course it's not, it's just-"

"We didn't expect someone like that to be your type." JJ said.

Before Spencer had a chance to say that they had never even met her so how could they know, Hotch and Rossi walked in, forcing a subject change.

It wasn't until they were on the jet home and Spencer was reading a book waiting for your reply to him asking to come over for the night that the topic of his mystery girlfriend was brought up again.

As Emily took a seat across from him she asked what they had all been wanting to know. "So how come we've never met your girlfriend? Or even heard of her?"

"I did want to tell you all but it was still relatively new and then we had a long string of cases and I wanted her to meet you when I told you so I just didn't mention it." As he was talking, his phone pinged with a text to which he immediately picked up to read.

"So now that we know, do we get to meet her?"

"I will ask her. You guys were thinking of going out tonight right? I'm going straight to her apartment so I can see if she's off tonight to join us."

That seemed to be enough for Emily as she nodded and gave Spencer a smile, walking back to her seat from before.

You could tell Spencer was hiding something. When he arrived at your apartment he was quiet and it seemed like he wanted to talk but he hid it by practically devouring you and keeping you moaning for over an hour.

Deciding you wanted to find out what it was right now, you took action: grabbing his book from his hands and placing it page down on the table behind you, straddling him on the couch. His hands instinctively went to your waist as he gave you a kiss, despite his questioning look.

"Hi." He said, to which you replied the same. "As much as I do love you on me, we decided to rest for a while. Realised you actually can't resist me after all?" He joked.

It was true. To resist Spencer was torture but your pride refused to let you go back on your statement from earlier so quickly. In your break earlier Spencer had called you insatiable when he got up to get you some water. To this you denied and said that you could easily resist him, you just never wanted to and so Spencer challenged you.

"No... but I can tell you want to say something and I'm just curious to find out what it is."

Spencer had been holding off on asking you to go out with him tonight. He couldn't understand why he was so nervous but he took a breath and asked you anyway.

"It kind of slipped during the last case that I have a girlfriend and also what your job was and now my team wants you to come out with us tonight." Spencer spoke quickly in hopes to not stumble over himself.

Your head filled with questions like why was he scared to tell you this? what prompted him to tell them? was he meaning to keep you a secret? Instead you replied with one single "Yes," throwing Spencer completely off guard. He was expecting at least a question about why he had only just told them when you had been together for nearly 3 months now.

"Oh, that's great, um, we're going to a bar not too far from here actually and we can leave in about 2 hours?"

You nodded and internally decided against bombarding him with questions, instead going in for a kiss, all pride and challenge from earlier forgotten.

The nerves only hit you when you were walking to the bar hand in hand with Spencer. Your face must have displayed these nerves, prompting Spencer to pull you closer and ask if you were okay.

"Yeah, I am, I'm excited to meet your team, but you told them about my job right? They're not all weird about it?" Usually, you didn't care about what people think about you, but you really liked Spencer, and the way he spoke about his team proved that he cared deeply for them and you just wanted them to like you too. From the way Spencer had spoken about them, they didn't seem like the type to judge people for doing what they needed to for money, as long as it was legal of course, but still, you'd had your fair share of encounters with boyfriend's friends that have lead to you being dumped all because they've seen you on stage.

"They would never. They're nice people, truly. And I can tell you right now, Emily will be all over you for how you look tonight."

His words lifted your nerves and by the time you were walking through the bar doors, you were eager to meet them. It took not a minute for Spencer's hand to be at the small of your back leading you to a booth full of people. You took a deep breath saying to yourself that even if they called you a slut, it might be worth it for once, as long as you were seen on Spencer's arm.

Getting to the booth you noticed four people sat, watching as you guys approached. You could feel their eyes on you but to your surprise, they didn't feel judgemental or disgusted - they were kind and eager.

Before Spencer had a chance to introduce you to anyone, a woman was in front of you offering her hand. "Hi, I'm Emily, you are so hot!" Her enthusiasm made you giggle as you shook her hand and replied with your name and "So are you!"

As you got acquainted with the team, Spencer left to the bar to buy you and him a drink, smiling to himself as he saw your own smile from across the bar.

The rest of the night ran smoothly with you quickly realising just how true Spencer's words were. None of his team even cared about what kind of job you had, all they cared about was if you were a good match for their youngest team member.

As you parted ways from Penelope's hold, promising to go out with her and the other girls alone again, Spencer watched with a smile.

"You really love her, huh?" Derek's voice startled Spencer slightly, but he nodded anyway, giving you his biggest grin as you came closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his chest.

"Yeah, I really do." Spencer replied, putting his arm around your waist and saying goodbye as he began to lead you back to your apartment. You didn't even need to have heard what Derek had said to him because you could see it in Spencer's eyes. Because in a world of boys who judged you and called you a slut for doing what you're good at, Spencer was a gentleman who would never let those boys anywhere near you.

this one took me a little longer to finish up than i had intended cause work was draining the past few days but i finally got it done. i have more ways to lengthen it but then id feel like it drags on and i just wanted to get it out so i apologise for the semi-rushed ending. i actually dont mind this one so i hope you enjoyed and please send requests, the people i can write for are in my masterlist!

dividers by @cafekitsune

thank you for reading!

[writerdream22]

requested by: anonymous, I really hope you like this ✨🌻💛

pairing (platonic): Chandler Bing x reader

prompt used: “I told you that I'd never leave you. I'm not going anywhere”

warnings: none. English is not my first language so there might be some grammatical errors a/n: it has been some time since I have either written or posted anything on this platform. This first year of uni has been quite difficult, but I will try to fulfill all of the requests that I have received throughout all of this summer!

feedbacks are always appreciated!

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN!

You had lost all your trust in people.

Men in particular.

When you realised that your longtime boyfriend had been "having fun" with one of his colleagues (who he’s told you was just a friend) for six months, you tried to find ways to resolve the matter in the most responsible way.

First, you tried to resonate with the guy, who promptly started accusing you of neglecting him and your relationship and justified his cheating in the most absurd ways.

Even though you had started the discussion with somewhat good intentions, the rage and hatred you felt against who you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with won against your better judgement. So you kicked him and his mistress out of the house, then you threw all of his things and everything he had ever gifted you out of the window.

As soon as the whole ordeal came to an end, you fell to the ground and started crying uncontrollably. 

You normally would have called your friends and asked for their comfort. This time, however, you felt the need to be alone and process the whole thing by yourself. 

Even though you received quite a few calls, you let them all go to voicemail and cried yourself to sleep for a few days in a row.

A week after the breakup you heard a knock on your door. The person was rather insistent, because even though you were not answering, they kept going.

“Y/n, it’s me, Chandler. Please, open up” your eyes widened as you realised that your best friend was standing in the hallway.

“Go away!” you shouted, as you sat on your sofa.

“Come on, I bought your favourite food. And some coffee. I figured you might need it”

You sat up, and hesitated if you should either open the door or not. Just as you were about to turn the handle, you heard Chandler’s voice again.

“Ok, let’s put it that way” he said “If you don’t open up now, I will break in. And I know how much you like the new wooden frame that you put on your door”.

Your eyes widened. Chandler wouldn’t do such a thing now, would he?

“Yes, I will actually do it, Y/n”. It seemed like he had read your mind.

Needless to say, you pondered your choices and opted to let your best friend in.

“God… you look- terrible”

“Yeah, I know” you scoffed, as Chandler walked through the door “What do you want?”

“I did actually bring you food, you know? And refreshments, too” he responded, gesturing to the plastic bag that he was holding. He quickly reached into it and pulled out a plastic coffee cup.

You softly smiled, taking it from his hands, then put it down on your counter in order to prevent it from spilling onto your carpet.

“The food’s already cold, so we can wait to eat it if you’d like” Chandler responded, to which you responded with a nod indicating that you preferred to eat later.

The two of you sat down on your couch, facing each other. You knew that there were questions to be answered, so you prepared yourself for your best friend’s interrogation.

“So, you and him-” he began.

“Yes. We broke up”

“Because he-”

“He cheated on me with that colleague of his. The one we all met at that party. Rachel had told me that there was something wrong about her, but I didn’t listen” you paused “You, too, had told me that you didn’t like him as soon as you saw him. And- I am so dumb” 

Just as you were beginning to recount the whole story, you started crying. Obviously, Chandler immediately hugged you as tight as he could in order to show you that you were safe.

“Shh, I know, I know. He’s a scum” he asserted “And he’s stupid for leaving you”

“You’re not leaving me too, are you?” you sobbed. 

You genuinely fear that, eventually, each and every one of your friends was going to leave you because of a particular flaw that you had or because you were too annoying for them. But at the same time, you had known Chandler, Monica and the others for quite some time so if they were truly annoyed by you they would have said so earlier.

“When we graduated college, I told you that I’d never leave you, Y/n” Chandler said, as he held you in his arms and gently stroked your hair “I’m not going anywhere”

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course! You’re stuck with me! Now, let’s celebrate this new era of you and not think about the bad stuff, huh?”

[kaylorstree]

TTPD Gaylor Lyric Analysis

Because there are so many songs, I’m only analysing the gayest ones.

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO POST THIS!!!!!!

But Daddy I Love Him

Possibly Taylor’s gayest song EVER.

‘These people only raise you to cage you’

A lot of this is about her team, handlers and parents wanting her to stay closeted.

‘These people try to save you because they hate you’

This references judgemental religious people, to whom if she ever came out would want to save her, and pray for her, out of faux concern.

‘Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best’

Again, religious Bible names, but also could reference American conservatives.

‘Told my parents and they came around’

This has to be about being gay. I really doubt her parents wouldn’t have a HUGE problem or be able to influence her that much in terms of problematic men, since she has dated many previously, such as John Mayer and Jake Gylenhall.

‘Tell him to floor it through the fences’

This references Getaway Car, but I also think it references the YNTCD fences, and the other fence meme.

‘I’d rather burn my whole life down’ Dating a man would never ‘burn down’ her entire life.

Down Bad

‘Crying at the gym’

Taylor and Karlie went to the gym all the time. There is so much photographic evidence of this.

Side note (which I think I have previously posted about): I’ve always found it odd how they would be so dressed up for the gym, particularly Taylor. It makes me think they were having lunch or hanging out in secret, for some privacy from the paparazzi maybe?

‘Like I just lost my twin’

Do I really need to elaborate this line?

‘Fuck it if I can’t have him’

I genuinely see no way Taylor couldn’t date any man she really wanted. The only way she REALLY couldn’t have someone would have to be a HUGE reason.

‘Did you take all my old clothes, just to leave me here naked and alone?’

A man wouldn’t take a woman’s clothes, Also, Taylor and Karlie shared a load of clothes back in the day.

Guilty As Sin?

The religious undertones continue, along with the references to heaven and angels.

‘Written mine on my upper thigh, only in my mind’

‘What if the way you hold me, is the thing that’s holy’

‘Without touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin’

Surely it isn’t a sin by any standards to THINK about having sex with a man? But a woman, YES.

‘I keep my longest locked, in lower case inside a vault’.

This was suggest she has repressed longings she needs to hide, but also suggests ‘loml’ and ‘iwannagetyouback’ are important to listen to and decipher.

Fresh Out The Slammer

‘Fresh out the slammer, I’m running back home to you’

This suggests being imprisoned or trapped. To consider a 6 year relationship as being a prison would be offensive to Joe, but would make sense if this was just another fake relationship she’s trapped in until she can finally be with the person she has been waiting for.

Clara Bow

‘You look like Stevie Nicks, in ‘75, the hair and lips’

At first I didn’t understand why this reference jumped out at me- I then realised that there was this tweet comparing Karlie to Steve Nicks’ ex, Linsday Buckingham.

‘You look like Clara Bow in this life, remarkable’

She sings about women and their features throughout this song.

‘Half moonshine, full eclipse’

Karlie is always referred to the sunshine, hiding the sun would be an eclipse.

Peter

‘In closets like cedar, preserved from when we were just kids’

‘You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me’

This suggests waiting for someone when they can finally be together.

‘As the men masqueraded, I hope you’d return’

Men masquerading suggests acting or pretending, just as her beards have been until she can be in a real relationship with the person she actually wants to be with.

iwannagetyouback

‘Wait til you fix your face’

Only a girl would need to fix their face. This also aligns with The 1975 song ‘Girls’, the one that was playing when Taylor and Karlie famously kissed.

‘Curse you out, or pull you into the closet’

I mean, again, when does someone ever literally pull some into a closet? Only figuratively.

Chloe Or Sam Or Sophia Or Marcus

The premise of the song is talking about someone bisexual. It’s impossible to decipher it any other way.

So, she’s outing and implicating one of her previous boyfriends which would be EXTREMELY problematic.

On the other hand, if she was singing about a bisexual woman, that would make sense. There is less stigma surrounding bisexual women compared to men, by some extent.

The Prophecy

‘Don’t want money, just someone who really loves me’

Again, this doesn’t make sense to attribute to a man. Why would she lose money by being in a relationship? Only if it was incredibly controversial, like a queer one.

Also, ‘The Prophecy’ suggests that this is the way things have to be, have been and will be. However, if she changes this it will not be expected for others in the future.

‘I got cursed like Eve got bitten’

‘Was it punishment?’

This alludes once again to sin and religious imagery, but also about how being LGBT can feel like a curse or something unwanted.

‘Looked to the sky’

This suggests God is responsible for the prophecy itself.

‘Pat around when I get home’ alludes to crime and accusations. Perhaps growing up her family were maybe onto her concerning where she’s been and who she’s been with.

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

‘You don’t get to tell me about sad’

‘You wouldn’t last a year in the asylum where they raised me’

As discussed online, Taylor didn’t grow up with any particular trauma or a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination. However, the concept of her being closeted on a global scale, to constantly having to lie in order to keep her livelihood is pretty traumatic in my opinion.

A lot of people wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Please tell me what your interpretations are! 🌼🌈

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

Hotel room hell pt2

Pt 1 here

Summary: The mission definitely wasn't a success and Wanda was pissed off about it, not as pissed off as you though, captured and waiting to be rescued, when you are rescued it doesn't go that much better

Words: 2,700

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Sorry guys no smut but there's, angst and angry Wanda, but some comfort too Wanda also switching from hating you to wanting you because she's confused

"Well that was a fucking disaster!" Wanda stormed into the room ignoring Nat's pleas for her to calm down

"Wanda come on it wasn't that bad! We all survived and I'm proud of my shot off on that metal covered guy, went down like a led ballon" she laughed, stopping when Maria slapped the back of her head

"Y/n got taken Nat! Stop joking around"

Wanda threw some of her magic at the wall making a burnt hole and making the other two jump "we need to get her back" her voice was low and dangerous sounding "they will pay for what they did"

Maria slowly approached the seething witch "Wanda honey, we will get her back, do you hear me? We will get her back"

“I thought you hated her?” Nat interjected but Wanda just shrugged “I do, but only I get to torture her, not some HYDRA scum”

********************************************************

"Listen gents you've made a terrible mistake, now you seem like nice people and you've just made a little error in judgement, but if you let me go we'll never see each other again and I won't say a thing"

You knew it was pointless, these guys wanted you and used the silly drug deal as a distraction to get you, you don't know why they wanted Venom, they were a pain in your ass really but definitely good for battle when you allowed them

"Y/n I know you are waiting for something, may I make my presence known?"

You shook your head whispering back so the kidnappers didn't hear "that's what they want, they want to see you in action, no keep quiet, I don't want them getting you"

"So you do care for me?! I knew it"

You smiled, of course you liked the alien, they're literally apart of you so you technically had no choice but they were fun

"Tell me! Tell me where she is!" Wanda had a man in a tight chokehold by her magic, every minute that passed by he didn't answer the tendrils got tighter

"I can feel your mind breaking down and slowly dying, you will die a painful and pointless death, tell me where Y/n is!

He let out strangled scream lifting his hand pointing to a locked door before going limp in her hold, she dropped him to the ground stepping over him to the locked door

Maria and Nat appeared around the corner having dispatched a few other guys "Wanda what happened?"

The witch shrugged "he told me what I needed to know" she blasted the hard steel door open surprising the group of men, making them move away from something in the room, you, you'd been beaten, blood spilling from your mouth and your eye and cheek bruised

Wanda saw red, pointing her magic towards the men tearing their bodies from the inside, knowing what that meant Maria and Nat closed their eyes trying to ignore the pained screams, this was too much even for a trained assassin.

“Wanda?” You whimpered when she held your cheek in her hand, the small movement causing a lot of pain

“You’re safe now, they won’t hurt you again” her once anger filled face softened

“They’re gone?” You whispered and when she nodded you sighed feeling Venom wake up and take care of your bruised body, your pain wasn’t as intense and your bones started to mend, small amounts of bruising remained but you could deal with that

You couldn’t keep your eyes open when the pain left wanting to sleep now that you could, the last thing you heard was Wanda’s soft voice “sleep detka, you will be okay”

Nat tried to help Wanda lift you from the chair the witch refused “my magic can carry her, you and Maria make sure it’s safe to walk through to the car”

The assassin nodded and turned to her girlfriend who was eyeing Wanda suspiciously but Nat calmed her down “she holds her emotions on her sleeve, it’ll be better to stay out of her way”

The women left the witch alone with you using her tendrils to wrap around your body like a soft blanket “I don’t think I hate you anymore”

****************************************

“Y/n are you awake? I can feel your stomach rumbling and I believe that means you are hungry”

You stirred in your sleep slowly waking up coming face to face with Wanda who looked like she was concentrating on something “shh honey don’t move I’m nearly finished cleaning your head wound, just then you felt the damp cloth on your head, you thought Venom fixed everything?

Venom couldn’t fix everything, they mumbled about being unable to fix skin wounds” you kept forgetting she read your mind without permission

“Thank you” your voice was soft and Wanda smiled “you're very welcome my pretty alien filled girl"

You let out a little chuckle and closed your eyes again letting Wanda fix you

“A shame I have to keep hating you really, we'd be very cute together"

You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion and opened your eyes "you don't have to keep hating me Wanda"

She chuckled using her hand to grip your chin forcing you to look up at her "no I don't think so honey, hating you makes the sex better" she smirked leaning down to kiss you "and what's better than hate sex?"

You rolled your eyes "we could role play once a week hating each other"

"Too easy, no, I still have plenty of things to hate about you" She finished cleaning you up "especially that clump of goo inside you"

Venom's head appeared from your body glaring at Wanda "you are just mad I haven't chosen you as my host, you know we'd be powerful together"

Wanda shuddered in disgust "I'd rather peel my own skin off than have you inside of me"

She stood up leaving you alone to get some rest saying she'd come back to check on you to finish your wounds and after the alien had stopped being a dick

*************************************************************

When Wanda returned you promised Wanda that Venom wouldn't annoy her anymore

"How's the patient?" Nat peeked her head through the door watching Wanda deal with you

"She's okay and so is her creepy alien"

A low rumble came from you and Wanda looked at you oddly

"It was Venom, they don't like being called creepy"

Wanda rolled her eyes standing from the bed where you were "they need to get over themselves, get up and get packed, our jobs here are done and we need to go back to the compound and tell Tony we fucked up"

"Are you blaming me for the fuck up?" You stood up following Wanda through the room

"All I'm saying Y/n is that if you didn't have that stupid alien then we wouldn't be in this mess-

You pushed her against the wall using Venom's sudden strength "it wasn't my fucking fault! Maybe if you could actually use some common sense you would've done things correct!"

Wanda picked herself up off the wall turning to you with red in her eyes and her power floating around her hands making you laugh

"Oh here we go using your chaos magic to act all threatening, maybe if you used that power years ago your brother might have lived!"

Silence. Silence filled the room and you instantly regretted saying it

"Wanda-

"Don't" her voice was an angry whisper that even made Venom shiver "don't you ever talk about my brother again"

You tried again "Wanda please I-

Suddenly Wanda pressed you against the wall using her magic to hold you still "you what? Didn't mean to tell me I'm the reason my fucking brother's dead?!"

She had you there, you did say that but you wanted to calm her down now "Wanda please I'm really sorry I didn't mean it! I'm just annoyed but shouldn't have sunk that low"

"You're fucking right you shouldn't have sunk that low and if you dare say anything like that again I'll tear you apart from the inside taking that alien apart too"

You nodded your head begging to be let go which she did but when you fell down to the ground she knelt down gripping your chin forcing you to look at her "I can't wait to be rid of you properly"

"But what about the hate sex?" Was it a bad time for a joke? Yes but that's how you deal with very stressful situations

Wanda forced a smirk "it will be very hateful, trust me" she dropped your chin standing up and swiftly leaving the room and leaving you alone for a while, until Nat came running into the room

"Y/n! You're alive!"

"Oh wow really? I thought I died in that stupid HYDRA room, kinda wish I did actually"

Nat crossed her arms "you know what I'm sick of your sarcasm"

You sat there with your mouth wide open "are you serious?? You're the most sarcastic person in the world!"

Maria came into the room seeing the two of you and just rolled her eyes coming to pick you up "honey what did you say to Wanda?"

You remained silent not wanting to respond but Maria forced it out of you "maybe something about saying she was the reason her brother died?"

Nat gasped "you fucking didn't!"

"Shut up!" You shouted along with Venom's voice making everyone jump "I didn't mean it! She was just annoying me and it got out of hand!"

You were breathing heavy at this point getting really stressed so Maria started calming you down "okay honey please calm down, just breathe nice and slow with me" you breathed with Maria for a while finally calming down

"You okay?" Maria asked and you nodded "yeah yeah I am now Mia thanks, can we go home?"

She smiled "yes come on, I think witchy has already gone home so it's just us three, is that okay?"

She helped you to your feet keeping you close to her body "you're gonna stay with me right?"

Nat pulled up to your other side grabbing your other hand "you're stuck with us both malen'kiy priyatel'"

You groaned, not knowing much Russian but knowing that one "I'm not little, you're as short as me"

"Yeah but I can rest my arm on your shoulder"

Suddenly Venom overtook you standing at 6ft 8 staring down at the Russian

"Natalia I believe we are now a lot taller than you, you can no longer rest your puny arms on our muscular shoulders!"

Nat crossed her arms grumbling under her breath

Maria rolled her eyes "okay you two come on, it's a long plane ride home"

****************************************************************

Before you even crossed the door into the building Tony had you cornered "whatever you've done to witchy little alien you need to apologise, she's broken 4 TV's!"

You groaned removing Tony's iron gripped hands from your clothes "I'll go and talk to her, sorry Tony"

Walking through the compound felt like you were walking to the electric chair, you secretly hoped Wanda was too tired to kill you, or at least try until Venom got tired

"Y/n do you need me to be upfront? I can protect you more if I am in front"

You shook your head "honestly Venom I think you'd make it worse, no offence but she hates you more than she hates me right now"

"Okay, but if she starts anything bad I will automatically take over"

You nodded coming to her door preparing for the worst but you stopped before knocking hearing something inside, is she crying?

Taking a deep breath you knocked on the door and the crying stopped, you heard her shuffling around and open the door to you

"You have 10 seconds before I blast you through the compound" yep she was definitely crying, if her red eyes were anything to go by

"I can't say anything but sorry Wanda I just, I just shouldn't of reacted like that, it was way out of order and I'll spend forever begging for forgiveness I don't deserve"

You closed your eyes preparing for the worst and got scared when it didn't come, so when you opened your eyes and saw her with tears in her eyes still you started talking again "Wanda, do you want to be alone?"

She shook her head enveloping you into a surprised hug, the contact made Venom spook and push her away from you in a protective way

"Woah woah Venom its okay, she wasn't hurting us!"

"I panicked Y/n!"

You looked back at Wanda who was slightly shocked but was still upset, you stepped into the room and shut the door "Wanda I'm sorry, they just get a little scared you know"

Wanda didn't care, she hugged you again relaxing into the hug hoping Venom wouldn't push her away again

You didn't know how long you were stood there but it was long enough to make standing a little uncomfortable, Wanda felt you were uncomfortable and pulled away from you "do you want to sit down?"

You nodded looking for somewhere to sit as Wanda sat down on her bed "you can sit on the bed Y/n I won't bite"

You chuckled "somehow I don't believe you" you sat down on the bed next to Wanda and she wiped some tears that escaped her eyes "it was my fault"

You shook your head "no Wanda no it wasn't, you couldn't of stopped it , please don't think it was your fault"

"I could've stopped the bullet, I shouldn't of let him go alone I-

You stopped her rambling "Wanda stop, he went out to save a young boy, he protected a young life, remember what happened when you were younger?"

Wanda started shaking her head "don't make me go back there Y/n"

You continued none the less "you and Pietro were stuck under that bomb for four days, two scared children eventually saved, just think of what Pietro did for that little boy, he wasn't scared because an angel saved him so he could live a long and happy life"

Wanda was full on crying now and you pulled her into a hug "Wanda just let it all out, there's only two of us here"

You two were sat for a while, Wanda's cries getting quieter until eventually she just started sniffling "do you feel better?" Wanda lifted her head from your neck giving you a kiss on the cheek "I don't hate you, I'm sorry"

You used your thumbs to wipe her tears away from her face "it's been a crazy few days right?" You offered her a smile and she gave you one back "yeah it has, I don't think I've slept that much"

"Do you want to go to sleep now? I can leave you to it" you went to stand up but Wanda grabbed your hand "stay with me?" She whispered rubbing your hand and you thought about it "uh sure if you really want me too, I think I'm a good cuddlier"

Wanda laughed "I keep forgetting you're funny"

"Funny or anxious its one of the two" you watched Wanda crawl under the covers leaving a spot for you which you took, laying down and immediately having Wanda nuzzle her head in your neck and wrap her arm around your midsection closing her eyes

"Thank you" she whispered and you took a chance kissing her on her head "it's okay"

*****************************************************************

"Can you hear anything?" Maria and Nat were behind the door trying to hear something, anything to indicate Wanda hadn't killed you, just then Venom's tendrils opened the door and their head appeared

"You two are not very quiet, we are okay in her, Y/n and Wanda are cuddling"

Nat gasped "oooooh they're getting along”

"Until the next time they argue" Maria said but Nat was too happy to care "okay Venom go back to Y/n before they wake back up, we'll come back later"

Nat pushed Maria away from the door, dragging the woman along with her trying to whisper so she wouldn't wake you "we can go on double dates!"

"Nat please"

[watsittoyah]

Prayers From A Sinner- Dick Grayson x Blk Fem Reader

Warnings-Sexual content, and adult content. Toxic behavior, enemies to lovers? Oral sex, slight rough sex, drug use, violent behavior.

I do want to let everyone know that this story will have dark themes. It’ll be erratic at times and the main characters morals will be tested. There will be foul language and lots of descriptions of acts of violence and other uncomfortable subjects. If those themes aren’t for you, I won’t feel any way about it and you don’t have to continue. But for those who decides to stay and read, thank you, I’ll do my best making this story…interesting and entertaining.

Chapter 1 - Thou Shall Not Kill…

“Dear God, I know we haven’t spoken in ten years, but…I know you listen. Even to sinners like me. I know I won’t make it to those pearly gates but you please please save her. My mothers faith has never wavered, she always speak so highly of you. Just…don’t take away the one person who loves me.” You pray as you knees at the alter.

The sentiments were soon gone when you felt a shadow beside you. You open your eyes and turn to face him. “You shouldn’t be here.” The reverend says glaring at you. You kiss your fingertips and proceed to tell the good lord amen and then you look back at the Reverend.

“What? Can’t sinners come to church and pray too?” You ask in an innocent tone. “You know God won’t be listening to your prayers, you little demon.” He hisses at you which only gets a rise out of you. You rise from off of your knees and lean in.

“Tell me, reverend…do you still get those urges?” His glaring shakes a bit as he knows what you’re asking. “You need to leave, now Miss Price.” He tells you ignoring your question. “Oh but Rev, I was just asking do you still get those urges? Especially when you do communion? Do you get a stiff one when you have the men open their mouths when they eat that cracker?”

“I said get out!” He snaps causing you to laugh in his face. You wipe the tear from your eye and pat his arm. “Don’t worry, Reverend Jones. I was only teasing. But if you ever want to settle those urges you know where to come. I got the best boys that’ll satisfy you better than the misses. Just remember I won’t tell if you don’t.” You wink at him and motion for your three body guards to follow you outside of the church.

“Church people are so judgement.” You tell Nathan, your best guy. “That’s why I’m atheist.” You laugh and he helps you down the stairs while Marc gets the truck ready and Jake holds your umbrella.

You stop mid step and sigh. “Hold on, boys. I’ve got company.” You turn and right in the shadows you see him. “I’ll be back.” You pluck the umbrella from Marc and continue down the steps.

“But Miss Price-” You turn to Nathan and give him a look that makes him back down. “I’ll be fine, now don’t hover you know I hate when you do that.” You walk away from him and you walk down the alleyway, and stand in the slight moon light.

“You know you’re not your daddy, Richie Rich. Come out so I can see you.” You say with a slight smirk on your lips. Dick Grayson had stepped out of the shadows but he wasn’t wearing his stupid getup.

No he was dressed differently. Hell he stood differently, and he was more filled out than the last time you saw him. But things change in six years. “What are you doing here, Victoria? I thought it was clear that you were never to come back here in Gotham.”

You cock your head to the side at him. Clearly his attitude hasn’t changed.

“That’s rude, normally when you greet an old friend you ask them how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to.”

“We’d have to be friends for me to ask that.” He steps up close to you and you smile. “Awe, Richie Rich that hurt my feelings. Now kiss my lips and make the pain go away.” You say as you lean in.

But he moves back from you and leans against the wall. “Why are you here?” He asks again. “I have business to take care of here, since you’re so concerned. Now where is Batman? Is he still around?” You ask looking past him.

Dick looks at you and you see the sadness in his masked face. “I heard about your mother. I’m sorry-” You raise your hand and stop him. “Don’t be sorry, people die all the time. It just happens to be my moms name on the reapers list.” You say in a cold tone.

“You know that I can talk to some people. See if she can get better treatment.” You laugh in his face. “What you don’t think I haven’t done that? You don’t think I haven’t tried to buy more time for her? I have thrown enough money at these so called doctors, and all they’ve told me was she has no time! She is dying! And I can’t do a fucking thing for her! You and I both know she doesn’t deserve this, she’s one of the good ones in this dump of a city. And I have to watch her leave me!”

Dick walks over to you and he hugs you as you feel your shoulders shake. “I’m here for you, you know that right, Victoria?” Dick makes you look at him and you give a nod. “I know. I just-I hate crying. God damnit.” You wipe the tears and Dick kisses your head.

“You…you can’t stay here in Gotham. You have too many warrants and you’re a target.” You shake off his embrace and glare at him. “You think I give a fuck about that right now? You insensitive bastard!” You go to slap him but he catches your wrist and he sighs.

“Don’t take your anger out on me. I know you’re hurt. I know you want to lash out just to make yourself feel better. But I just want you to be safe. You know I care about you.” He tells you as you oddly become calm.

“If you want me to feel better then, make me feel better. This suit looks good on you. Makes your shoulders look more broad. And you smell good. I bet you still taste good.” You start to press up against him and you cup the front of him making him flustered a bit. “Victoria, I can’t. We can’t.”

“Are you scared of me, Dick? I promise I’ll be a good girl for you. I won’t leave bruises like last time. I’ll even let you leave some down my throat.” You press him against the wall and as you go to kiss him he stops you and he holds you still.

“No, I said no and I mean that.” Your eyes get low and you step off. “Fine, I won’t press my luck. I apologize.” You say in a monotoned voice. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you want to talk. Maybe we can-” You turn on your heel ignoring him and you feel him follow you. As he reaches out to you, you snatch your arm back and point to the siren noises.

“Superman ain’t here so get to it Robin.” You spit at him as you walk towards your truck. You don’t even look back as you step inside. You just toss the umbrella and glare out the window.

“Marc, take me to Spades. Miss Molly is getting a bit dull and I want to show her off.” You tell him as Nathan and Jake both sit quietly. “Sure thing boss.”

••••

“Watch the doors fellas.” You tell Marc and Nathan as you step into the strip club. You see ass and bare breasts all around. You see a great amount of men, all salivating at the women dancing for them and you yawn. You take off your fur and Jake takes it for you while you walk towards the vip section. You feel eyes on you and but no one catches your attention like he does.

There was something about Dick Grayson that made you get into this mood. You never let your emotions go like this, you were a pro at bottling them up, but old Richie Rich just knew how to break that bottle and make you pour.

You knew he could bring out the best side of you, he could help you with your attitude and you’d be an upright citizen. But why would you want that? You’ve left far too many dead bodies in your wake. And you didn’t want to scrape for pennies ever again.

You’ve made a name for yourself and you liked the fear it invoked in others.

So that is why you needed a distraction, you didn’t want to think about him anymore. So you eyed the male dancers. One had a very large bulge as he moved his hips to the slow yet low base beat song. You two made eye contact and you take a crisp one hundred dollar bill out.

“You’re cute, what’s your name?” He gets on his knees and he crawls over to you. “Nicholas, but you can call me yours, pretty lady.” He accepts the money from you and you smile, looking at his pretty tan skin and his pretty white teeth.

“I think I’ll keep you. You wanna come home with me, Nicky?” His deep brown eyes seems to look a bit panicked and you gently place your well manicured nail under his chin. “Don’t be scared. Trust me, I’m all bark.” You flirt as you stare into his eyes.

His pupils dilate which causes you to smirk. But suddenly you feel someone behind you. “Now this looks like a party.” You smell cheap scotch and you turn, seeing Jake grab the strangers shoulder but you shake your head and he backs off.

“Nicky, go get us a room and wait there for me.” You pass him another one hundred and he gladly takes it and nods. “I’ll be waiting pretty lady.” He leaves off the stage and walks away, you look at his ass and you sigh.

“Come on, baby can’t I watch?” The cheap scotch drinker asks. With a swift move you take out your rose gold beretta that was secured to your thigh under your dress. You placed it under his chin and as soon as he heard the click, he sobered up quite quickly.

“Wa-” You shake your head at him. “I thought you said you wanted to watch? Well I don’t think you’ll want to watch that pretty boy eat my pussy out. I bet you’ll want to watch some girl on girl action? Well let me introduce you to miss Molly. Ain’t she pretty? She packs a mighty blow and I’m sure you’d want to watch that right?”

“N…no. Please don’t kill me.” You raise a brow at him. “I’m really a nice lady, now if I recall I asked you a question. Answer it. Isn’t Molly pretty?” The man stutters out a yes and you smile.

You pat his cheek and rub the barrel against his lips. “I think, everyone should meet Miss Molly. Now stand there and be quiet while I introduce her.” You move the gun from his lips and you shoot three shots in the air, scaring the hell out of all the patrons in the club.

The music comes to a holt and you blow the smoke from your gun. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce my little friend named Molly, and I wanted to reintroduce myself. I am Vic Price. You may have heard of me, and if not then let me remind you who I am. First things first, I am not someone to fuck with. Okay? I will shoot you and then go out for ice cream because I feel like it. Secondly, I know a lot of you in here are my enemies main men, let your bosses know I don’t give a fuck about the targets. I’m out for blood and I’m ready to spill it. And lastly, does anyone know this guy?” You point to the scotch drinker and just about everyone in the place shakes their heads.

“Good, this is a lot easier for me.” Without hesitation you shoot the man in his face and his blood as well as brain matter splatters against the stage. You step up closer to his fallen body and you shoot him in his mouth as well. A few girls scream and a few people scramble to the door but they stop as they see Nathan and Marc.

“Here you go boss.” Jake hands you a handkerchief and you wipe your gun clean and place it back on your person. “Jake you’re the best, and because you are the best please explain to the lovely folks in the room, why I shot that man in his face and his jaw.”

“Miss Price here shot that sack of shit in the face, because she doesn’t want him to be recognized by the Gotham police. And she also shot him in his jaw just so he can’t be identified by his dental records. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Price simply shot him because she was in the middle of a conversation with someone. I don’t know about you lot but I wouldn’t want to fuck with this lady.”

You clap as you laugh. “I love this guy! Now where is the owner of this fine establishment?” You scan the room and Jake points to the chubby man trying to run back stage. “Grab him.” You order.

He moves quickly and grabs the man. “Hey le…let me go!” Jake tosses him at your feet and the man looks up at you scared.

“I don’t want any problems. I respect your father and-” You bend down close to his ear and whisper something only he could hear.

“You know my old man? Please let him know his baby girl is back in town and she’s coming for what she’s owed. And if you don’t tell him, I will shoot your little pecker off and make you eat the rest. Do you understand?”

He nods quickly and you smile. “Good boy. You know what, I’m going to stay in Gotham for a while and I think I’m going to take this place off of your hands. You don’t mind right?”

“I can’t do that-” You stomp your stiletto down on his hand and he gives out a cry. “What was that?” You ask. “It’s yours! It’s yours Miss Price.” You remove your pointed heel and you look back at the crowd.

“Spades is under new management! Ladies and gentlemen all the tips tonight belongs to you. As for the rest of you that have came in to pay? Tip my people well, I’ll be making more change’s tomorrow! Jake, you make sure you keep these people from bothering me. I have a new pet to break in. Oh and one more thing, cut that cheap scotch drinking bastards hands off and drop them somewhere no one can find them.” He smiles wide and nods. “You got it boss.”

You walk down to the vip room and you lean against the door frame as you knock. Nicholas opens the door and he looks spooked. “Were those a gun shots?” He asks as he looks past you.

You place your hand on his toned chest and you move him back into the room. “Don’t worry about those loud noises, Nicky. I took care of that. Now come dance for me.” You say as you look into his brown eyes.

He gives a slight smile and he leads you to a chair. You sit down and he moves close to you and he places your hands on his abs, as well as his thighs.

“You wanna be my special friend, Nicky?” You ask as you move your hands from him and place them on the hem of your dress. “All depends…what are the benefits of being your special friend?” He asks as he eyes your body.

“You get access to me, you get spoiled. And I do love spoiling my friends. And most of all you get to have the best sex in your life. I’ll fuck you so good, you’ll see God and the devil at the same time. How’s that sound?” You ask as you raise your heel and he takes it, letting his soft hands rub down your calf. “That sounds amazing, but why me?” He asks as he unclasps your heel and he rubs your pretty black painted toes.

You let out a giggle. “Because I like that bulge you have in those skimpy little shorts, and because your eyes remind me of someone. They look…kind.” Nicholas smiles at that and he brings your foot to his lips.

“Can I?” He asks as he kisses the pads of your toes. “Go ahead, let me see you enjoy yourself Nicky.” He sucks your toes and he lets out a soft moan as he licks and suck’s your foot. You rest your head on your chin and you can visibly see he’s getting rock hard.

“That’s enough, Nicky.” You tell him. He gently places your foot down and you hike your dress up past your belly button. “I want to see what else you like sucking on.”

He kneels down and looks up at you. “I..I won’t get in trouble will I?” He asks as he looks down at your freshly waxed brown pussy. “Nah, the new manager here said she’ll let this slide. Come closer, I’m sure you’re hungry after dancing all night.” He leans in and as he grips your thighs he freezes and moves his hand back.

That movement makes you giggle. “Awe, what’s the matter? You don’t like guns?” You ask as you pat Molly. “I..um, I don’t have great experiences with them.”

You cup his chin and move in close as if you’re about to kiss him but you stop. “Well I won’t ever raise Molly to you as long as you don’t make me upset, if you do oh you won’t like that. Now Molly is staying right on my thigh. But you don’t need to be concerned about that. Just pay attention to what’s between my thighs. Now I have two things to tell you. After you give the correct answer we can have fun. Number one…I want you to know I have two main rules. One, you only get to fuck me. If you fuck someone else I’ll leave and you’ll never see me again. And two, I want you to treat me like I am your god. When I enter your presence, worship me. When I walk past you, hunger for me to come to you. Do you understand?” He nods but you grip his chin. “Answer me.”

“Y…yes pretty lady.” You let go and you place your hand on top of his head and move his face between your legs. “Now answer this for me as well. Do you have full understanding on how to eat pussy?” You hear him inhale the scent of your sex and he lets out a moan. “Yes, yes I do pretty lady.”

“Call me Vic, and I’m so happy to hear that. Now take that delicious looking clit of mine, move the hood back and lick it with just the tip of your tongue.” He does what he’s told and you lean your head back as you feel him lick circles around your clit.

“Such a good boy you are. You’re going to be my favorite. Now go ahead and suck.” You push his head deeper between your legs and you let out a soft moan as he sucks your clit hungrily.

Even though you know it’s Nicholas between your legs, your mind still wonders to Dick. In your mind he was the one licking you out and making you wet on the seat.

“It’s so good to be home…”

Next

[sabrgirl]

muslims stop judging others challenge

imagine you're in an olympics race. on your marks, get set, go. but while you're in your lane, you're looking at all the other runners. that one is running funny. why is that one wearing two different coloured socks? that person's hair is flying in their face, how are they even going to see? with all this judgement towards everyone else, do you think you're going to win the race? while everyone else is focused on reaching the end, you're focused on them. yes, you might cross the finish line eventually but

you lost

you finished last

did you even qualify?

it's crazy that this judgement happens so much in this ummah specifically. some non-muslims end up hating on islam because of how muslims treat other people online. and in real life too. and some muslims have left islam because of the way other muslims treated them when they were doing wrong.

we're all humans taking the same test. we just have different trials. do you know what really is the cause of this judgement? your nafs. the ego.

the ego is fuelled by fear and projects its own insecurities and fears onto the world to try and bring itself up. it makes you think that you're superior to other people because, by doing so, it makes you feel 'confident' inside.

for eg, you may wear hijab and see someone else who doesn't. you start judging or gossiping or leaving rude and hateful comments, or even just a comment that you think is going to help her because your ego is saying 'wow, i'm such a good/better muslim than her because i wear the hijab'. but... what about when you see someone who seems like a better muslim than you? do you now all of a sudden feel... insecure? jealous? do you start hating on them or desperately try to find faults in them? do you feel less? if you do this, and you need to be honest with yourself if you do, this your ego/nafs you're listening to.

this isn't true confidence. if you do this, you likely have poor self worth that needs to be worked on and an ego to eradicate. luckily, islam is fundamentally based on the jihad against your inner self/nafs/ego - whatever you want to call it - to reform your character and get closer to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ as a result of it. but that's a topic for another day.

Allah Himself has said:

O ye who believe! Do not let some men ridicule others, they may be better than them, nor let some women ridicule other women, they may be better than them. Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith! And whoever does not repent, it is they who are the true wrongdoers. (49:12)

i.e. you will never know the true state of someone. why? because that is for Allah to know and for Him to judge.

when you see someone doing something they shouldn't, first realise that you've been guided by Allah to even recognise that in the first place. how many times in your life did you eventually realise that you were doing something bad and you didn't even know? or maybe you knew a specific thing was bad but you didn't know the reasons why, and now you do? you could've been so deaf, dumb and blind but Allah decided to guide you. so first drop the arrogance and praise Him for guiding you enough to recognise and understand the bad deed.

after this, you have two options:

1. you make du'a for them

'O Allah, please guide them to stop doing ______ / to start doing ______ and guide me closer to You too. please forgive us both for our sins'.

if it's something you used to do: 'O Allah, please guide them better than you guided me and forgive us both for our sins'.

the end. you move on. do not doubt the power of prayer.

2. you advise them

and this is the one where it oftentimes all goes wrong. again, let me mention again what Allah has said:

'Do not defame one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How evil it is to act rebelliously after having faith! And whoever does not repent, it is they who are the true wrongdoers'.

notice that Allah said 'it is they who are the true wrongdoers'. the ones who are rude, who defame, who call each other offensive names, who backbite (if they don't repent).

so then, what's a good way to advise someone? a step-by-step guide:

approach them kindly, compliment them for whatever good you can see they already do.

before you advise them, tell them that you don't mean to dishearten them or hurt their feelings but want them to become better in their deen and character for Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ's sake and see them in jannah.

then proceed to tell them what you noticed is bad. relate your own experiences and struggles without exposing your own sins and tell them you understand the difficulty of reforming your character as you're a human too and have your own struggles and trials.

tell them what things helped/still help you. good deeds and ways of living. tell them how it helps you. reading the Qur'an helps you realise that Allah has bestowed so many favours for eg, and you don't want to upset Him.

share useful resources to help them on their journey. youtubers you watch, podcasts, qur'an verses.

explain to them that they should also do it for Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ's sake and should research why it's bad so that they truly have an understanding first (which will likely make them stop doing it, Insha'Allah)

respectfully acknowledge that they could actually be struggling with this sin and tell them that you understand that growth isn't an overnight journey but wanted to advise them anyway.

tell them that you'll pray for them and ask them to pray for you because you also struggle with things too.

for online/social media advising:

everything i just mentioned above but do it via DM rather than leaving a comment so that they feel less disheartened, let down and publicly shamed.

what not to do:

if you don't want to pray for them or advise them kindly, move on with your life.

do not leave rude comments

do not backbite and/or gossip

do not scold

do not have a harsh tone

we're all taking the same test. perhaps one of your tests is actually the way you treat other people when you see them doing wrong. you might think you simply left a comment because you're 'guiding other people'. but if they leave islam because of your words and treatment... well. what a thing to be held accountable for on the day of judgement, right?

[toringo]

Copied and pasted from my response to the earlier post because I want people to actually maybe read it: We also should talk about the image of a family and interpersonal relationships from Curt's perspective, since we know nothing about Owen's personal life. If we're talking purely canon and Curt is our POV character, we need to see it through him. Curt's father left his family when Curt was a baby. He never had a positive male role model, as his mother's stated in the show. It might've been a joke, but it is true nonetheless. He was raised by her and she is quite intrusive. Being a momma's boy is another tired gay stereotype, but Curt is like that for a reason - he doesn't have any friends. (And no, I won't count Owen as one, despite them calling each other that, because their relationship is toxic and distant. They don't know each other. They are lovers, but their friendship is shallow at best.) It is entirely possible that Curt was homeschooled, or wasn't in a public school for long. He probably started his work young and got it thanks to his mother's connections to the Special Service. That could be a way in which his mother unintentionally isolated him and made him depend on her even more (no, I don't want to make her into a villain, but it's just a thing that happens. Lone mothers turn overprotective and controlling). Men raised that way often lack independence and are indecisive and lost in their adult life, and their worth is defined by the judgement they receive. That way, he escaped from under his mother's control and landed in Cynthia's care. You know, his boss and another strict mother figure. That has a complete control over his future and could ruin his life with one document, or one test. The most prominent figures in his life are literally in control of it. And he doesn't have much else. So far, his only idea of a family is a pattern of power and obedience. Why would he want it? Maybe being a spy is a job and the missions are dangerous, and he has to follow orders, but not at all times. He is away from everyone, and he can do whatever he wants in his free time, no judgement and no one looking over his shoulder. He can do this all his way if he still get results. This is freedom. At least for him, the only freedom he knows. The vision of having a family is nauseating. He would have to take less dangerous (less freeing) missions; would have to go back home every now and then; would have to listen and follow. He would be chained, again. And would have to marry a woman. A true family is a man and a woman, right? They should have 2 children, a boy and a girl. They should have a house with a white fence and a dog and a treehouse for their kids. Two men is not a family, that's ridiculous! Two men can be friends, partners, lovers. But not a couple, not a family. The thought of having a domestic life with Owen for real has never crossed his mind because in his mind it's not what a domestic life should be. Sure, he thought how it'd be if they lived together and woke up together. But it was never serious. And it could never be serious, because how? They are from two different countries, two agencies. And they can't leave them, he can't leave. What would he do without it? Where would he work? He doesn't have any place to go. And two single men living together? That's a suicidal idea. The best they could hope for is living close to each other and finding a boring, regular job. Be together from afar, still, but with less excitement. No convenient cover-ups. No government perks. No action. No real freedom and thrill. A life controlled by another construct. He'd rather have the illusion.

[andrastesacredknickers]

A Hopeless Cause

Summary: Cullen tries his best to hide the fact that he has growing feelings for Lavellan, though he doesn’t seem to be very good at it. Watching her grow closer to Warden Blackwall leaves him frustrated, he tries his best to fight these bitter feelings. If only she knew how he felt.

While writing this I was listening to: All the Pretty Girls by KALEO

Pairing: Cullen x Lavellan

Word count: 2.6K

Tags: So much pining and yearning, Cullen fumbling as per usual, awkward flirting, Blackwall Flirtationship

Find me on Ao3 here

“I like a man with a nice beard,” Eve said with a laugh, shooting Blackwall a flirtatious grin. He sat beside her in the tavern at Haven, his arm resting on the back of her chair. The tavern was fairly full with the Inquisition’s scouts, chatter creating a low rumble. Eve had her hands wrapped around a mug, rubbing her thumb against the glass.

“A woman of taste, I see,” he laughed, the hand behind her grazing against her shoulder.

“Elven men don’t have beards, they’re all… naked in the face,” Eve replied, picking up her mug of ale and taking a big swig.

Cullen sat a table over, picking at a plate of food as he watched Eve and the Warden from afar. He felt his face grow warm as the two shared glances, Blackwall shifting to be closer to the elf. The commander couldn’t understand why he felt so… jealous. It’s not like he and Eve were anything more than two people working towards the same cause.

She was the Herald of Andraste and he the commander of the Inquisition’s forces. Any time they spent together was simply work, though Eve did ask him to train her along side his soldiers. She was interested in learning to defend herself without the use of magic. He liked that about her. She was a near hopeless cause at first, hardly even able to hold a sword. Cullen enjoyed the time he spent with her, training her one on one in the evenings. She was dedicated, never missing a lesson with him and he admired her determination. She was, after all, very busy. But she dedicated as much time as she could to improving her form, running drills, observing Cullen as he taught the other soldiers.

Eve was funny, she was smart, and the commander couldn’t help but notice the fact that she was also quite beautiful.

He looked back up at her across the tavern, noticing her eyes on him. She shot him a quick smile, returning her gaze back to the man sitting next to her. He watched as her eyes flicked quickly to Blackwall’s lips, meeting his gaze once again and laughing at his joke. Cullen loved her crooked smile, the way one of her eyes squinted when she laughed.

What he wouldn’t give to have her look at him like that.

“You’re not very subtle, Commander,”

Cullen jumped at the voice, turning to see Leliana leaning against the wall behind him. He grumbled to himself, looking back down at his plate of roast and potatoes.

“Sweet Maker, how are you so quiet?” He huffed, resting his head in his hand.

“Practice. It also helps that I don’t wear 10 layers of armor like you,” she said with a laugh, sitting down in the chair across from him. “She isn’t going to magically know you feel for her, you know,” the spymaster said, leaning back in her chair.

“What? Why would you? I don’t feel… anything for-“

“It’s quite obvious that you do,” Leliana replied, cutting off his stumbling. Cullen sighed, looking up at her.

“It would be… inappropriate,” he mumbled, hiding his face in his hands.

It didn’t matter what he felt. He was the commander and she… she was important. Eve was their only chance at sealing the Breach, the fate of Thedas rested on her shoulders. He couldn’t let his feelings cloud his judgement, now was not the time to indulge his feelings. Besides, she was a mage. He still struggled with feeling safe near magic users and Eve was no exception.

“And sitting here seething, staring daggers at the Warden is appropriate?” Leliana asked, raising an eyebrow at Cullen. He rolled his eyes, training his glare on her.

“Who asked you anyway, Leliana?” He huffed, his hands balled in a fist on the table.

“Oh my, Commander. You’re in trouble,” she said with a chuckle, turning her head to look at Eve and Blackwall. Eve still had her hands wrapped around her mug, her legs crossed under the table. Her foot rested against Blackwall’s shin, slightly rubbing against him as they talked. The Warden’s arm remained on the back of her chair, his hand now resting against her arm.

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen groaned, shoving his plate forward and swiftly standing up. He looked over to Eve once more, seeing her cheeks and the tips of her ears blushed as she laughed. He turned on his heel, storming out of the tavern.

“Good night, Commander!” Leliana shouted after him, shaking her head. She looked over to Eve who raised an eyebrow at her. Leliana shrugged, pulling Cullen’s abandoned dinner towards her and picking at the potatoes.

Cullen stood outside the tavern, his back leaning against the building. He hated how worked up he felt over this. His heart raced, his stomach felt like it was in knots, his face was warm. He had no right to feel jealous, Eve had no idea how he felt. He didn’t even really know how he felt. She just had this effect on him, made it hard to focus, to think. Cullen cursed under his breath, making his way to his tent for the night.

“It would probably be best for me to head to bed. I think Josephine has quite the list of tasks for me to do tomorrow,” Eve said, looking down at her hands. She felt warm from the ale and the crackling fireplace in the tavern, feeling Blackwall’s hand resting against her arm.

“Let me walk you back,” he said, getting up from his chair and extending a hand to Eve. She smiled, placing her hand in his as she stood. His hand was warm, but rough from callouses. Blackwall gently squeezed her hand before releasing it, gesturing for her to walk ahead of him.

“You’re quite the gentleman, aren’t you,” Eve chuckled, making her way out of the now empty tavern.

“A lady such as yourself deserves to be treated with respect,” he said, following behind her. As she stepped outside into the cool air, Eve took a deep breath. She wasn’t used to spending so much time indoors, the night air on her skin felt like home. She looked up to the sky, it was clear, the stars beautifully visible and sparkling.

“Being trapped inside so much is strange for me. I’ve practically lived in the forest my whole life,” Eve said, looking over to Blackwall.

“That must’ve been an exciting life, traveling so much,” he said as they walked, his hand brushing hers.

“You can’t tell me your life hasn’t been exciting as a Grey Warden,” Eve said, allowing her pinky finger to rest against his.

“Hah, yes. I suppose my life hasn’t exactly been boring,” he replied, his eyes dropping to the ground.

As the pair approached Eve’s door, she turned to face him.

“Thank you, Blackwall. I enjoy your company,” Eve said, leaning her back against the door frame.

“And I, yours,” he replied, resting his hand next to her head against the door. Eve cocked an eyebrow at him as he moved his face closer to her, dropping her gaze to his lips. Blackwall pressed his lips against hers, letting his free hand fall to her waist. She could feel the rough scratch of his beard against her face as he moved his lips against hers. She rested her hands against his chest, leaning in to his kiss. He smelled of leather and pine, she could taste a hint of ale on his breath. He pulled away, averting his gaze as he let out a chuckle.

“Good night, my lady,” he said, bowing his head slightly.

“Good night,” she replied, watching as he walked away.

Eve smiled to herself as she unlocked her door, slipping inside. She rested her back against the door, taking a deep breath before walking towards her bed. Eve quickly removed her boots followed by her coat and scarf. She kicked off her trousers, left only in her small clothes and shirt and slipped into her bed.

As she closed her eyes to sleep, Eve thought about the kiss with Blackwall. She had never kissed a man with a beard, it was rough and coarse, though she did like it. Eve liked Warden Blackwall. He was kind, determined, and dedicated to their cause, albeit a bit intense. It felt nice for someone to treat her as he did, her last experience with a man colored her ideas of how she deserved to be treated. As she lie in her bed, her mind began to wander to another man.

The commander.

Eve spent a lot of her time with Cullen, whether that be in meetings with her other advisors or when she trained with his soldiers.

Though Eve was a mage, she was determined to show the Inquisition’s soldiers that she was one of them. And learning to wield a sword was something she’d always wanted to do. Keeper Istimaethoriel always discouraged her from doing so, as she needed to focus on her studies. Cullen was so willing to teach her, taking time out of his day to train her one on one. He was kind with her, despite how awful she was at first. He was patient and thorough, making sure to explain things in a way she could understand. Eve was always surprised at how gentle he was when he helped her adjust her form, making sure to show her how to hold her body and where to place her hands on the sword.

Eve wondered what it might be like to feel his gentle touch in other ways. How his hand might feel in hers, how it might feel to kiss him.

Eve’s eyes snapped open. The elf rolled over on to her back, staring at the ceiling of her room.

“Oh,” she mumbled to herself, feeling her pulse race as she rubbed her forehead.

Eve always thought Cullen was handsome, she enjoyed flirting with him as it always made him blush. But he was the Inquisition’s commander. And an ex Templar. Surely, there could never be anything there. It would be too… complicated. Now wide awake, Eve knew that sleep would not be coming for her any time soon. She took a deep breath before sitting up, sliding off of her bed and pulling on her trousers. She slipped a sweater over her head and pulled on her boots.

“A walk… yes, that’s what I need. A walk and a cold shower,” she huffed, trying to shake the thoughts of the commander from her head. Eve grabbed her staff before heading out the door, securing it across her back as she walked into the cool air.

Cullen lay in his cot, staring up at the ceiling as his mind raced. He couldn’t get the image of Eve out of his head, the way she flirted with Blackwall, her smile, the way she batted her long white eyelashes, the curve of her nose. He huffed, rolling over on to his side and closing his eyes. He felt himself grow flustered all over again, imagining how he would react if he was in the Warden’s position. Would he be able to hold his composure if she rested her foot against him, running it up his leg? What would it feel like for her to place her hand in his? For her to lean in to him, looking into his eyes, her lips pressed to his?

Cullen opened his eyes, breathing heavily and his face warm. He grumbled to himself as he sat up, swinging his legs off the side of his cot. He could feel the frustration building inside him, he hated the way his body reacted to the idea of being close to Eve. Any time they’d touched, he thought about it for days after, overanalyzing every interaction.

He stood from his cot, shoving his feet in a pair of boots and sloppily lacing them.

I need to hit something He thought to himself, pulling on a sweater and picking up his sword. As he ducked under the flap of his tent he saw a figure standing near the stables, a hand outstretched petting one of the Inquisition’s horses.

Short in stature with snow white hair that nearly glowed in the dark.

“Of course,” he mumbled to himself, debating whether he should just pretend he hadn’t seen her. In a moment of boldness, he made the decision to walk over to the elf.

“Herald?” He said as he approached her, sheathing the sword at his side. She turned to face him, smiling at him with that crooked smile. He froze for a moment, already feeling warmth rush to his cheeks.

“Hello, Cullen,” she said, gently stroking the horses muzzle. She turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t call me that, please just call me Eve. What has you put so late?” She asked, cocking her head to the side as she looked at him.

“I, ah, couldn’t sleep,” he said, watching as she turned back to face the horse. He observed the way she traced her finger along the swirl on the mare’s forehead, whispering quietly to her. The mare bowed her head, allowing Eve to rub gentle circles along the swirl.

“I have a horse, Hugo. Something told me to travel to the Conclave on foot, my clan was staying just a days travel away. I’m glad I made that choice, I don’t know if I ever would’ve found him again had I brought him,” Eve said quietly, gently petting the mare’s cheek.

“Do you miss him?” Cullen asked, watching how gentle she was, how the horse responded to her touch.

“I do. He’s been my best friends since I was a girl,” Eve said, chuckling to herself. “That’s a bit embarrassing,” she admitted, reaching in to her pocket and pulling out a sugar cube.

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing. It’s cute,” Cullen said, biting hid lip as he looked down in embarrassment. Eve smiled, placing the sugar cube in the palm of her hand and offering it to the mare. “Don’t tell Master Dennet,” she whispered to her, giggling as the horse’s lips tickled her palm.

“Eve I-“ Cullen started, looking at her. The elf turned to face him, raising an eyebrow as he spoke. “I just wanted to tell you that-“ Cullen felt his face grow warm, anxiety bubbling in his chest. What was he doing? Surely he wasn’t about to tell her that he had feelings for her, this was not how he’d want to do it. If he ever did it.

“What is it? You can tell me anything, Cullen,” Eve said, taking a step closer to him and placing her hand on his arm.

“I just needed to tell you that I have to cancel our lesson tomorrow… something came up,” he blurted out, the feeling of her hand on his arm making his heart pound.

“That’s alright, I’m sure Josephine can find me something to do,” Eve said, patting the commanders arm before turning back to face the horse.

“I’m sure she can,” he sighed, shaking his head.

“Well, I suppose I should head to bed. Have a good night, Cullen,” Eve said, flashing him a smile before walking back towards Haven, shoving her hands in her pockets. Cullen watched as she walked away, rubbing the back of his neck. He turned to face the horse, who blew a snort at him.

“I know, I’m an idiot,” he grumbled, patting her cheek before turning back towards his tent. “Always such an idiot.”

[likeadog]

okay look okay picking the microphone up holding it close listen to me okay kendou itsuka is an assertive, pragmatic go-getter who was able to take the leadership of her class as class prez and in tetsutetsus words "prevented everyone from being pulled in to monomas orbit". despite this, we also see her disguise self-deprecation in the form of that pragmatism, and it almost always comes in the form of comparison to other women, especially yaoyorozu. this is not from a hatred of yaomomo or other women or even the idea of traditionally feminine things; rather it is revealed to us in the beauty pageant chapter of the light novels that kendou struggles with the fact she does not personally identify with traditional femininity (and finds gender conventions "obnoxious" in general)-- and fears that it makes her unsuitable or incapable of navigating spaces with other women she seeks companionship with. she's confident enough to know she doesn't want to compromise herself, but she's unable to stop that self doubt from leaking out, especially when its in such a way that she feels she's lifting up someone she deeply admires, like yaomomo, whom she also spends time in the beauty pageant thinking of and thinking about how she would be perfectly suited to the event. we almost never see her take this sort of burden on when it comes to interacting with men: when she fights with tetsutetsu, her take is "he's dumb, but that's honestly kinda fine!", and we know how she felt about mustard and his gun. thats because while kendou is self conscience about something that exists within a broader cultural context, she doesn't even really care about whether or not men see her as "properly feminine"-- what she cares about is the opinion of other girls, like when she gets flustered when they talk about her being a good potential boyfriend, or as we see in JTA, her wanting to go head to head with yaomomo to prove herself as a worthy peer. she really has no malice or even resentment for yaomomo, it's just that heroism is the field on which they both meet on, and kendou is excited to share that activity and wants to impress someone she deeply admires.

for yaomomo, we know that she's pretty assured in her internal self identity: yaomomo always knows who she is and stays true to that, and never seems to struggle to place herself in a broader social context when it comes to inherent qualities: where she views her own defects is in terms of actions, like a failure to lead or to keep up in power scaling with her cohorts. to her, those things are always something she can fix if she keeps trying, but where she falters is asserting her right to continue trying even if it means possibly even potentially imposing on another person. and she first gets a taste of moving past that with her exam with todoroki, which then pushes her to have the confidence she needs to accept kendous challenge in the JTA; because she viewed kendou as someone admirable and who could take leadership roles with ease, and wanted to prove herself worthy of the friendship kendou has offered. again: heroism is their neutral ground, and both of them have similar ideas of chivalry and honor that make combat a mutually enjoyable and enriching experience. momo says that she "doesnt want kendou to see her pathetic" because she values her judgement and wants to show how she, too, has improved.

anyway. i think what im getting at is that kendou is very comfortable being assertive (External) but not as comfortable in her own skin (internal) and yaomomo is someone comfortable in her own skin (internal) but not as comfortable being assertive (external) and both of them admire what the other has and have a vested interest in sharing their mutual progress by comparing their skills in relevant areas . and also because theyre lesbians i think

[sailtomarina]

I Wish I Wasn’t (like that)

He never thought he’d end up here, “here” being America and New York City, specifically. She acts like the child country that she is, all mewling and grasping at the teat for more, more, more. That is why Antonin is here, why he can start over where nobody cares who he was, or what he sounds or looks like–though he knows he’s pleasing. His employers care about one thing: revenue. To them, Antonin is an invaluable resource.

He could have had somewhat of the same had he stayed in England. The goblins of Gringotts aren’t exactly ones to align with public opinion or the wars of men if they are not themselves directly involved. Antonin had the option to work for them like he did once before and like how he tried to again.

That was when he started to hope. He thought he might find happiness with her despite all the hatred and vitriol, every bit of which he deserved. She’d found him in the darkness and lit a path for him to follow. Their days together glowed like embers, fierce, but fragile. How brave she’d been, openly holding his hand, smiling despite the advice of friends and those who trusted themselves more than her own judgement.

Copper curls threaded through with gold, softer than a cloud, denser than the thickest brush–he dreams of her hair often. Sometimes cushioning, sometimes suffocating, but always hers. He’d loved burying his face in it, fisting the silk and watching the coils spring back into place.

Now he wakes up to a bare ceiling and sunshine slanting across his bed almost as if by design. He is a large man, his limbs long and prone to flinging off blankets in the night, but he still leaves one side of the bed empty. Wishful thinking, perhaps. A habit born of only a couple of years by her side and one he is loath to unlearn. It’s like choosing to sleep in the centre means letting go of her, them, forever.

Even though she let go first.

He stares at the picture of her in today’s paper, her head thrown back in laughter, hair cascading around her shoulders as his old friend tugs at the ends the way that Antonin used to. She looks like what happiness must feel like, and bile rises in his throat, sour and hot and uglier than the last words spoken between the two of them.

Antonin snaps his fingers and sets the paper aflame. The edges curl inward, her smile transforming into a grimace. Satisfaction eclipses the guilt for a handful of seconds. Salazar, does he miss her. He shouldn’t have left the way that he did. He shouldn’t have left her side. Shouldn’t have introduced them. Shouldn’t have prioritised anything but her.

He should have done so many things, and the regret shadows him from each day to the next, a wound that never seems to heal.

Written for the FB Dolohoes’ Summer of Love Fest, Week 3: “Nashville” by Carter Vail

489 wc

Cross-posted on Tumblr, FB, and AO3.

This one was a tough prompt for me because I’m not usually one to listen to country music. I recoiled when I first clicked on the song! I ended up pausing it and looking the lyrics up instead. They spoke to me where the initial melody could not. 

I adore the melancholy in the song’s story, of what was once, but no longer is. Thinking up a scenario to match, however, did not come so easily! I typically baulk at writing unhappy endings, particularly with this man. Still, it was fun practice pushing through that barrier (heh).

[a-halfblood-named-coin]

NOW I know I’m a little salty cause my murder family has broken up BUT my clear biases semi aside, I want to just say I don’t think Unasaka Misaki deserves a second chance.

OKAY HEAR ME OUT I KNOW THAT SOUNDS BAD

(Pls remember this is about a fictional women and her fictional struggles. This is not meant to pass judgement on any real person or events.)

In my opinion, she sent Miri to her death, I do not think that is a decision you get to back out of.

Listen, at minimum, Misaki knew Miri’s father was a negligent man, married and a criminal. At most, she knew he was an abusive human trafficker who has affairs. That IS NOT the kind of place you send you child thinking they will live a happy life. That is the place you send your child thinking you will, hopefully, never have to see them again.

No return address. No way to send Miri back if her father rejected her. She sent Miri to an unknown city to find a criminal with nothing but a backpack and one pair of clothes.

So yes, I agree that having a child in such a dangerous career is…well dangerous. I can believe (in general, I have my suspicions about Misaki’s intentions specifically) that someone who is diagnosed with a death sentence could regret certain life choices. That they would wish to reconnect with people they wronged and try to live a happy life for as long as they can. BUT I think it is awful bold of Unasaka Misaki to tell our dads that they’re being negligent by keeping Miri, when it is HER FAULT that they had to take her in at all.

They tried to return her, to do the right thing and not in-danger a child with their work. But she spit on that chance. Talking about how Miris laugh grated on her nerves, how she never wanted her and found her distasteful to look at.

It is HER FAULT that staying with a pair of hit men, however dangerous that might be, was the safest and healthiest place for Miri at the time.

So honestly, tough shit. You care now? You want to be a mother now? Only AFTER you’re dying?

It matters when you’re about to die, but not when your daughter may die…..

Okay,Unasaka Misaki.

[flutefemme]

"The Minstrel and the Prince"

*A Zelink Week 2023 Fanfiction* for @zelinkcommunity

Chapter 1: Yearning

“Your Highness! Are you even listening to me?” The sharp tones of the resident Master of Music cut through the prince’s daydream like the infernal screech of an ungreased wagon wheel. Link started back into reality with a sharp sniff, a nervous hand gripping his bow as he scratched the back of his neck and looked up at his teacher with a sheepish grin, shrugging his shoulders.

“By the light of Hylia’s divine power, boy, if you spent as much time practicing that instrument as you do off in the clouds, you might have actually improved your bowing technique over the last week!” His admonishment was punctuated with a melodramatic eyeroll and a withering sigh. “I said, let us begin again at the thirtieth measure and this time, flatten your wrist and widen the spaces between your fingers!”

Reluctantly, the prince obeyed. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the violin, but rather all the rules and litanies of technical requirements, posture, and formality of it all. It was stuffy, pretentious, and altogether exhausting, and it sucked the joy out of the music entirely. Kind of like the insufferable man standing next to him, scowling.

Two agonizing hours later, Link nearly ran out of the castle music hall and headed for the gardens. The gardens bordered the woods, which was the prince's sanctuary. Trees were quiet, and woodland creatures did not boast the judgemental streak of their human counterparts. Playing second fiddle to his elder sister, Aryll, heiress apparent and far superior to him in both rank and courtly manner, took a toll on him. She never treated him that way–they were always close friends–but nearly every other member of the court looked down their noses at his quietness and painfully shy nature as stupidity. He was far from a simpleton, and Aryll tried to remind him often that he exceeded her in nearly every academic area. 

"You are one of the wittiest men I know, brother," she would say with her charming smile, "Far less stuffy than all these other supposed 'gentlemen' of the court."

He smiled as his mind wandered back to their most recent conversation. He could get lost in his daydreams out in the forest. Nobody was there to chastise him back to reality with a frown. As he would do nearly every week after his violin lesson, he opened the case and plucked the instrument out of its nestling place. There was a folk tune he had learned some months ago to teach him compound time signatures, and it called to him like none other of his classical pieces ever did. He began to play, getting lost in the meter and lilting, informal melody. The Master of Music had introduced it to him with a derisive sneer on his lips, saying while the tune was "more bohemian than he preferred", that "it was the simplest way to teach my nearly hopeless student the necessary musical knowledge."

As he played, he danced. It was here he felt truly free, truly himself. Nobody to judge him, to tell him his bowing was off, that he was slightly flat—

Bright, wide, viridian eyes peering between two large tree trunks caught his own. He was jolted from his musical reverie as if he'd been electrocuted. He froze as the figure slowly moved out from the trees and toward him. His brain flooded with wisping, golden tresses framing a delicately featured face, a confident, curious, and playful gaze holding him captive as her head cocked to one side slightly as she observed him.

"Hello there," the green-eyed goddess broke the silence. Her long, flowing skirts jingled softly as the dangling, bejeweled belt swayed along with her hips. All Link could do was breathe. And even that was difficult. He blinked several times more than was necessary, prompting a flirtatious smirk from her, eyes twinkling. She stepped closer, placing her hands behind her back. Link's senses were hit with cinnamon and honey and he took a step backward.

"Oh, I didn't mean to startle you, truly. I promise I don't bite," she grinned wickedly as she added, "hard…" and laughed as his reaction changed from shock to pure panic. "Okay, okay, calm down, I'm just kidding. My name is Zelda. What's yours?"

Link just stared at her, swallowed, and blinked.

With a slightly curious look, she waited. When he still didn't speak, she smiled at him reassuringly.

"You're going to make me guess, then, aren't you! Hm." She tapped her chin as she began to  circle him, looking him up and down. 

"Felix."

Link shook his head, his eyes following her every move.

"Ferdinand!"

That earned her a smile and another shake.

"Shoot, well, how about Percival?"

Link fought back a chuckle, his anxiety dissipating as he shook his head once more. He tucked his violin under his arm and raised an eyebrow at her, following her more confidently with his gaze as she walked around him.

"Give me a hint. Throw me a bone…something!"

Link thought. And thought. With a quick inhale and a twinkle in his eyes, he met her eyes with his and thrust his first finger into a pointed gesture to capture her attention. He looked around for somewhere to write, and frowned when there was only grass at their feet. He looked back up into her eyes and his cheeks went red as he signed for her to hold out her hand. With a smile, she slowly extended her hand toward him, palm up. He traced a letter into her palm with nervous fingers enclosing around her hand to steady it.

“Oh!” She exclaimed softly, “The letter Z!”

He traced a number.

“Twenty-six?” She thought about that. “Oh, as in ‘Z’ is the twenty-sixth letter of the alphabet, I see!” She was rewarded with a toothy grin from him as he nodded.  He wrote the number again, and then held up two fingers, and then slowly traced ‘2’, and then ‘6’. 

“Ohhhh. You’re teaching me a code, aren’t you. Two, then six. Alright. I’m ready.” She flashed a brilliant smile as she readjusted her posture into something more confident. She looked at him expectantly and a rush of adrenaline hit him in the chest.

He pulled out his violin, and began to play a scale, slowly. He added an additional note to the end. Then signed the number ‘9’.

Zelda nearly squealed with excitement. “Oh, you’re using the scale as your code! Each tone represents a number. I understand, I understand!” 

He played the second and sixth tones of the scale like eighth notes, then smiled.

“Z!” She exclaimed, and he nodded in affirmation.

A single fifth tone, then another smile.

“E! Oh, yes, I know what you’re doing now!” She clapped her hands together as she cracked the simple musical code. He played the rest of her name with the eighth and quarter note rhythms, then paused, and laid a flat hand to his chest and tapped it twice. She clasped her hands together in anticipation as he picked up his violin and played the first letter.

“L…” She began to guess each letter, a look of determined concentration on her face while he slowly played each one.

“I…”

“N…”

“K…Link? Your name is Link?��� She raised her eyebrows as she waited for confirmation. He nodded with a smile, and leaned over to set his violin and bow down into the case at his feet. 

“Well, Link, it’s very nice to meet you. I’m actually traveling with some friends to Castletown for Hylia’s Day, and we’re staying not far from here. I was taking a walk and heard one of my favorite folk songs and was just compelled to find the source. I’m…tickled that it led me to you!” She smiled almost shyly as she looked him up and down from head to toe. It sent another wave of electricity through his legs and up through his neck. Without thinking, he signed back.

So am I.

Zelda tilted her head at him curiously as he signed. A look of understanding crossed her face and her eyes once again met his, a softness in them that wasn’t there before.

“You can’t talk.”

 Link shook his head quickly in disagreement and took in a deep breath. He never had the courage to speak to anyone so quickly after meeting them, and his audible words just wouldn't come out.

I can, I just prefer to sign. He mouthed the words as he signed them. She seemed to follow.

“I see. Well, in any case, Link, I feel fortunate to have met you. I can see why this grove is a place you’ve chosen for your quiet place. I’d have chosen it too.” She smiled fondly as she looked around, taking in a deep breath. A flash of hesitance crossed her face, and she placed her hands on her hips as if she was building up the courage to say something. Link continued to watch her, his lips turned up slightly into a pleasant sort of smile.

“Well, actually…” She paused, glancing down at his instrument and then back up to his awaiting gaze, “I’ll be here for several days. My troupe has traveled in for the Hylia’s Day Festival and we’re performing throughout the week as a part of the festivities. Tomorrow night we actually have our first performance. Would you…be interested in attending? It would be lovely to see a familiar face among the crowd?” It was then she looked completely vulnerable, her cheeks a slight shade of pink, and her body swaying slightly as if she was a bit nervous for his answer. She quickly added, “We’re going to be performing in the square on the stage next to the Mercay Tavern, if you’re interested. Eight-thirty in the evening.”

Without hesitating, he signed and mouthed, I’ll see you there, Zelda.

She was beautiful when she smiled. She was beautiful regardless, but her smile made the world around him shine with the radiance of a goddess. 

“Excellent! I look forward to seeing you there. Until then, Link! Oh! And wear comfortable clothes. No need to wear any of that fancy stuff,” she waved her hand around in the general direction of his person.

He laughed and signed, All right. No fancy stuff. 

She smiled and disappeared into the woods as quickly as she came. That night, his dreams were filled with golden tresses, emerald green eyes, and smooth, tanned skin. There may have been soft lips, too, but that was between him and the trees.

Chapter 2

[charliespringverse]

iwbft — tuesday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 136

· ouch/ow/owie: 12

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 5

· aroace: 2

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 9

Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy's chest. Jimmy's head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan. — i've woken up like this with at least half my friends

The shipping itself isn't a major inconvenience to any of us. If anything, it keeps the fans interested. They think Judgement Day will eventually come and there'll be a big reveal that Rowan and I are secretly in love. There won't. We're not. — @larry shippers in the year of our lord 2023

It's always sort of been Rowan and Jimmy, plus Lister. We still love him of course. But that's just the way it is. — PAIN (note: this is all caps, huge, and triple underlined)

'I talk about The Ark all the time. I don't know why this was a surprise.' 'Fereshteh, it was a little bit of a surprise to me too.' 'Why?' 'I suppose... I suppose I never thought you actually cared about this band that much.' — parents vs actually listening to and validating their interests (failed, always)

Juliet chuckles weakly and looks away. I know she's had some bust-ups with her parents in the past. — understatement of the millennium

I'm an optimist. I like to believe that love exists. — it Does it just isn't always romantic/sexual. but it exists So Much

'I feel bad... feeling so happy when they're probably upset,' — ur so close to getting it queen

'Can't we just go home?' Lister mumbles. 'No,' she says. — foreshadowing innit

Rowan and I follow him immediately, like there's a string attaching us — ... invisible string addition to the folklore trilogy?

Lister tells us to go away, but Rowan just walks up to him and starts rubbing his back as he throws up. — ♡ listerowan bestieism

There's a big window on one side of the bathroom. Big enough to climb out, probably. We're on the ground floor. We could just climb out and run. Get up and go. — FORESHADOWING INNIT

Being trans has been a pretty you can big part of my life so far, thanks, but that shouldn't be particularly relevant here, in an interview about our music. — u can Never escape other ppl's obsession w ur transness

Dave laughs and says again, 'Now that's honesty.' — FUCK YOU DAVE (note: this is all caps, huge, and quadruple underlined)

I ask God to give me a bit of extra patience. Because every time Mac speaks, I sort of want to put an entire bag of cotton wool in his mouth. — what God is for x

Being a male fan of obscure old bands is, for some reason, more acceptable than being a female fan of a twenty-first-century boy band. — (also the obscure old bands are rarely that obscure. they're one direction for old white men)

They know exactly who they are. They put it in their blog about' page, they put it in their Twitter bio. I never know what to put in my Twitter bio so I usually just put an Ark lyric in there. — and when u enter ur confident aro-ace era? what then?

I like to think God does have a plan for everyone. But I also think there's too much shit in the world for all these plans to be perfect ones. Or maybe God doesn't have time to write a plan for everyone. And some of us are just trying our best and getting it a bit wrong. — i think this is why faith doesnt work for me

Everything's still there, though. My journals, my guitar, my main laptop, my childhood teddy bear, and the knife that Grandad gave me when I was sixteen. — now i want to know what he would admit to in one of them essentials interviews

It'd be useless as an actual weapon, since it's completely blunt - you can run your finger along the edge and not even get a scratch. — hhhh foreshadowing innit ☹

Not that he particularly goes seeking it. Everyone just wants to be friends with Lister Bird. — and yet he cares most abt getting closer to the two he shouldn't have to try for ☹

David [Tennant] thought she wanted a selfie, when in fact she was just trying to find the nearest toilet. — iconic

'Now, there'd better be some fucking Capri-Suns somewhere around here.' — me @ every function

When they were together they both seemed to stop worrying about everything else in their lives - Rowan was no longer an overworked band boy and Bliss was no longer a struggling student. They were just together. — ☹ justice for laimondi

Then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Oh. Okay. Fine. This is fine. Can't say I realised this conversa- tion was going in this direction, but fine. — BAD (note: this is all caps, huge, and double underlined)

'But we're gods, Jimmy. What's better than that?' — pain. suffering. agony. heartache. torture, torment, anguish.

Holding it makes me feel real. It reminds me that I was born. That my life is something other than this birdcage I'm trapped in. Isn't it? Isn't it? — has his therapist ever discussed depersonalisation with him?

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 2, Chapter 7

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics - *UPDATED*

————–

PART 2

Chapter 7

“We found something. More accurately, we found someone.”

The call from Yelena interrupted Calina’s research session. It was Wednesday afternoon, and she was sat at the dining room table listening to the patter of rain against the window while she investigated pheromones and Governors.

She was multi-tasking on two separate mysteries at once: Who was making the fear pheromones that Matt was chasing all over the city? And why had someone tried to make her assassinate the Governor of New York state?

Unfortunately, she wasn’t getting far on either front. So Yelena’s call was less an interruption and more of a welcome distraction.

“Who did you find?” Calina asked.

“Katya’s handler. The one that was still giving her orders after Dreykov died. His name is Maxim Volkov and we’ve tracked him to a house outside Washington D.C. It seems to be his main residence in the States. Do you want in?”

“In?”

“Yeah, in on the mission. We have the extraction planned for tomorrow night, then we’ll start his interrogation the next day. Our intel suggests that he has something to do with what happened to you, so we thought you might want to be part of it.”

She did.

And she didn’t.

The part of her that was angry - the part that never quite went away no matter how many punching bags she hit - wanted revenge. It wanted to face the man or the men responsible for what happened to her, get answers…and make them pay.

But she didn’t want to indulge that side of herself.

It was the darkness buried within her - the darkness she’d alluded to with Matt the other night. The wicked, rage-filled blight on her soul.

Matt had found a way to live with his darkness. To harness it in the fight for good. But she wasn’t so sure she could do the same. Her darkness was cultivated from decades of abuse at the hands of the Red Room. It was formed of years of pain and loathing and fury - for everything that had been done to her and her sisters. And everything they’d been forced to do against their will.

It was a relatively small part of her, but it had a gravity that belied its size. Like a black hole, always threatening to consume her.

She’d given into it once, when they’d first been freed from the serum. And she’d swore never to do so again. Instead, she’d buried it deep and vowed to move on. To build a life of hope and joy, instead of anger and shame.

She wanted to concentrate on that new life.

But it was hard to explain that to Yelena without sounding judgemental. Without sounding like she was criticising the choices the other Widows had made. So she didn't even try. All she said was, “I’ll think about it.”

The next phone call came an hour later.

“Hey, what are you up to?” Matt asked.

This was the third day in a row that he’d called her from work. He usually had an excuse - asking what she wanted him to pick up for dinner, reminding her to take the garbage out - but then he would linger on the call, and the two of them would chat for a while.

About everything and nothing.

She told herself not to read too much into it. That he was just bored at work, or needed a distraction from a difficult case. But she couldn’t help but wonder if he…missed her? That maybe the hours between saying goodbye in the morning and hello in the evening were too long for him?

Just like they were for her.

“I'm doing some research,” she answered. “I’m trying to work out why someone would want Governor Benson dead. I thought if I could figure that out, I might be able to figure out who gave me the order to kill him.”

“Any luck?”

“No. There’s too many possibilities. He’s made a lot of controversial policy choices since getting elected, so there’s plenty of people gunning for him for politically. Then there’s his history in the Army - there’s a chance that the hit was a retaliation for a past mission. And his private life is a mess. He cheated on his wife with an intern, so maybe she wanted revenge.”

Matt hummed in agreement. “Wouldn’t be the first time. But I can see why you’re frustrated.”

“Yeah.”

“A workout will fix that. We’re still on for Fogwell’s tonight, right? That’s, um, why I called.”

And there it was. Today’s excuse.

Calina smiled. “Yes.”

They’d made the plan last night - not because her anger demanded another outlet, but because it was a good way to get her some exercise and get her out of the house without ending up somewhere too public.

“Good. I thought we might mix things up this time. You up for a sparring session in the ring?”

Calina didn’t have to think about it. The chance to pit her skills against Matt again in a completely harmless, no-stakes scenario? To have the excuse to be near him and touch him…?

No brainer.

“Count me in.”

 ———

 “Foggy and Karen will still be in Josie’s by the time we finish - what do you think about joining them afterwards?” Matt asked as he emerged from the changing room.

She’d met him outside the gym ten minutes ago. He was still in his work clothes and she was swallowed under one of his jackets, the hood up to fight against the rain and any prying eyes. The smile he’d greeted her with when he spotted her was bright enough to make her forget all about the miserable weather. And now his offer to join his friends for drinks warmed her from the inside out.

She felt like she was becoming a part of the gang. “Yeah,” she responded. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” Matt swung over the ropes surrounding the boxing ring and held them up for her to duck under. “I’ll try not to wear you out too much beforehand.”

She laughed as she joined him in the ring. “Famous last words, old man.”

“Old man?” Matt spluttered in outrage. But Calina knew from his wide smile that he was enjoying her teasing. After days of her being morose and angry, her good mood probably made a nice change.

And she was in a good mood. Her earlier frustration at the lack of progress with her research had vanished with Matt’s offer of a sparring session. She’d been looking forward to playing with him all afternoon.

Play.

It was another new experience. Training and sparring had always been serious endeavours growing up. There was no such thing as play-fighting in the Red Room. Every bout involved pain and the threat of critical injury.

She couldn’t wait to just have fun with him.

She brought her hands up in a defensive pose and mirrored Matt’s movements as he circled around her. “Yeah. You’re what? Late thirties, early forties?”

“I’m 33.” He struck at her, a slow jab that she could have seen coming from space. She dodged it with ease and landed a light punch over his left kidney.

“Really? You look a lot older.” She whipped her leg up and tapped him on the upper arm with her foot. “Its just as well you can’t see your reflection in the mirror. You’d be horrified by all the wrinkles and sagging skin.”

She was joking, of course. She knew exactly how old he was thanks to Anya’s research. And he wore those years well - she thought he was the most handsome man she’d ever met.

Matt laughed, then spun in a crouch, trying to sweep her legs from beneath her. Again, his move was slow and well-telegraphed.

Calina jumped over his leg, then rested her hands on her hips. “Come on, Matt. Are we gonna spar or just mess about?”

He gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I started having second thoughts about this. I thought it might remind you too much of our real fight.”

She returned his smile. “That’s sweet, but you don’t need to worry - I’m not that fragile. I want to do this.” She thought it might help, actually. That it would serve to replace those awful memories from three weeks ago with something much more positive and enjoyable.

“You sure?” Matt asked, bring his hands back up.

She nodded, matching his pose. “Sure.”

“Okay, then. Bring it.”

She shook her head. “Uh-uh. I’m a defensive fighter. You come here.” She slowly curled her index finger into her palm, beckoning him closer.

He grinned. And launched his attack.

There were no telegraphed moves this time. And his lumbering slowness was replaced with his usual lightning-quick speed. But she met him, move for move. She blocked or evaded each of his hits and kicks and followed up with the occasional jab of her own. And when he moved from boxing to wrestling, she flowed out of his reach and turned his momentum against him, flipping him to the ground as often as he managed to flip her.

It was exhilarating. They were so in sync. Their styles so complimentary.

Of course, she knew from painful experience that when he wasn’t pulling his punches she was no match for his power - but she also knew that he struggled to get near her when she utilised all her defensive training.

And he struggled to hold on to her when he finally did catch her - like now. He had her arms pinned behind her back, one large hand wrapped around each of her slender wrists. “Gotcha,” he whispered in her ear.

She paused for a moment, enjoying the feel of him against her back, the warmth radiating from his skin and his breath against her neck…

Then she moved. She relaxed her body, bent her knees and ducked under his right arm. This unbalanced him, and a quick shove against his side caused him to roll away from her and across the mat. She stood up to her full height and grinned down at him. “You were you saying?”

He returned her grin as he got to his feet. “Nicely done. What was that?”

“Aikido. When the trainers in the Red Room realised I wasn’t as strong as the other girls, they brought in an Aikido specialist. Its a discipline that focuses on defence.”

“It obviously works for you.” He sounded so…impressed. And coming from a fighter as talented as Matt, it made her feel ridiculously proud.

And it made her want to show off even more.

A few minutes later, she got her chance. Matt came at her, crouched to land a jab against her flank. She took the hit, and used his bent leg like a step to climb up behind him. She hooked her left leg over his left shoulder and used her momentum to spin her body around his neck, so that when he collapsed to the floor on his back, she landed on top of him - a hand at his neck and her knee on his chest pinning him in place. Her other hand hit the mat by his head and she froze there, her face hovering inches above his. 

A lock of hair escaped her ponytail and fell forward to brush against his cheek. He lifted his hand to tuck the strand behind her ear, then ran his fingers down the line of her jaw. “God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed.

“Wh-what?” she whispered, stunned by his quiet words. His other hand came up to her waist, as if to steady her, his fingertips pressing into her skin.

Her mouth went dry. She licked her lips, and Matt’s eyes dropped to her mouth as if he could see the movement…

She sprang to her feet and backed away, suddenly feeling flustered.

Matt sat up, and ran his hand through his hair, looking equally unsettled. “Sorry, I, um, mean the way you move. When you’re fighting. Its so graceful and fluid. I was just, um, admiring it. One fighter to another. Nothing more.”

He was lying. There was more.

There was much more, Calina was sure of it.

The way he’d looked up at her just now, his lips parted, and his eyes shining with wonder…the gentle way he'd grazed the skin of her jaw, and the way his other hand had clutched at her waist…it felt like so much more.

It felt like…attraction. 

And she had no idea how to process it.

“Calina?” Matt asked.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, realising she hadn’t responded to his compliment. “Thank you. You’re pretty graceful yourself.” She tightened her ponytail and adjusted her top. “That was fun. But I think I need a break.”

“Yeah. Okay. No problem.” He pulled his bag closer to him from where it waited at the edge of the ring, then grabbed the water bottle from inside. He downed half of it it one go while she tentatively took a seat next to him.

He offered her the other bottle from his bag and she accepted it with a shy, “Thanks.”

She didn’t know how to act around him now. It was the first time since meeting Matt Murdock that she was certain he was attracted to her. And it made her wonder whether her one-sided feelings were maybe not so one-sided after all.

And with that thought, came another much more staggering realisation.

She loved him.

She loved him.

This wasn’t just friendship. This wasn’t just gratitude or affection or respect. It was all of those things, and infinitely more. She loved him. She was in love with him. The merest possibility of her feelings being reciprocated crystallised them in her mind after weeks - months - of uncertainty.

She loved him.

“Are you okay,” Matt asked, and she realised she’d been staring off into space for several minutes.

She laughed. She wasn’t okay. She was having a life-altering epiphany in the middle of an abandoned, run-down gym.

“I’m fi-” She glanced over at him and stopped mid-sentence. He must have removed his sweat-drenched shirt while she was distracted with her thoughts, because his bare torso was now on display as he stretched out on his back, his head resting on his crooked arm. 

But that wasn’t what had caused the words to die in her mouth. It was the horrible blue-black bruising spread across his left flank. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

She swivelled around to face him and crossed her legs. Then she touched her fingers as lightly as she could to his injured skin. “This. Who did this?”

He brought his hand down to cover hers. “It’s nothing. Just some thug last night.”

“Jesus, Matt! And you still suggested sparring with me? You must be in so much pain.”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

She studied the rest of his bared skin, seeing the evidence of that with her own eyes. Scars criss-crossed and marred his body. Some were neat, showing signs of suturing, whilst others were more ragged and raised.

He must have sensed what she was looking at, because he rubbed his hand over one of the thicker, more gnarled wounds and tried to make a joke of it. “Not a pretty sight, I guess. Must go well with all my wrinkles and sagging skin.”

She gently stroked his bruised skin. “You look like a survivor. Like a warrior. I wish I looked the same.”

He tilted his head to look in her direction. “What do you mean?”

“I was never allowed to keep my scars. The nature of my missions meant that I always had to look perfect. Flawless. So the Red Room used the best surgeons and the most cutting-edge laser technology to remove them.”

She held out her left arm. “A few years ago, I was caught in the blast of a car bomb in Peru. A shard of shrapnel the size of a golfball was impaled here.” She took his hand and ran it over the smooth, unmarked skin of her forearm.

She pulled the strap of her lycra top to the side and placed his hand on her collarbone. “I took a strike from a machete here. The blade hit the bone and got stuck - its the only reason I wasn’t slice in two. That, and the fact that the man who attacked me didn’t sharpen his knives often enough.”

Matt said nothing, just explored her undamaged skin with his fingertips.

“All those wounds,” she continued. “All those experiences, and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing to prove I survived.”

“You’re alive,” he said, his voice deeper than normal. “That’s pretty good proof.”

“I guess. And maybe its good that I don’t have any physical reminders about those missions. The car bomb was actually set by one of the other Widows. And the man with the machete…he wasn’t the bad guy in that scenario. Those aren’t encounters I’m proud of. I just hate that removing my scars was one more way the Red Room controlled me. One more way in which they removed any sense of…individuality.”

“Individuality?”

“Yeah. We were all so…homogenous…to them. We were all dressed the same way. We all had the same sheets on our bed and the same colour toothbrush. They even braided our hair the same way. We had no personality.” Calina pulled her hair forward to play with the long strands. “The first thing I wanted to do when I got to New York was cut off all my hair. I didn’t want to ever have to braid it again.”

“What stopped you?”

Calina let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t know how to find a hairdresser.”

Matt reached up and took a lock of hair. He rubbed the silky strand between his fingers. “I’m glad you didn’t. I like your hair.”

“Thank you. I like it now too. And I don’t want to cut it - I just want to find my style, you know? My taste. I want to feel like this is my body. Scars, and all.”

“I get it.” Matt slide his hand from her collarbone to the back of her shoulder, to the small scar that was hidden there. “And you have this one, remember?”

Calina moved her hand to the same spot, her fingers tangling with his as she traced the tiny mark. “Oh, I forgot about that.” It was the wound she’d received from Katya in Seoul. The one that Matt had helped her dress when she’d returned to New York.

“How did that happen?” he asked. “It wasn’t from falling onto a broken bottle of glass. I knew that even at the time.”

“You did?”

“Yeah,” He smiled. “But I figured - no, I hoped - you would eventually tell me the truth about it.”

She smiled back at him. “It happened in South Korea.”

“You went to South Korea that week?” he sounded astonished. She got the feeling he rarely - if ever - left the country.

“Yeah. Katya - do you remember her from that night?” He nodded, so she continued. “It was a rescue mission for her. She was still under control of the serum so we went to free her.” She explained about her infiltration of the Ambassador’s mansion and her fight with the other Widow. “I guess if I was to have only one scar, that’s a good one to have. It came from doing something I chose to do.”

“And it came from doing something good. From helping someone,” Matt added.

“Yeah.” She ran her finger over a small puckered wound on his right upper chest. “What about you? How did you get this one?” she asked softly.

“Bullet. I was shot rescuing hostages from The Hand.”

“From who?”

“Doesn’t matter. They’re gone.”

She moved her fingers to a nearby wound, this one larger and angrier-looking. “And this?”

“Arrow.”

“An arrow? Who uses an arrow?”

He smiled. “Ninjas.”

“You were shot by a bow-and-arrow wielding ninja?” It was her turn to sound astonished.

He laughed. “Yeah. My life got very…strange…for a while.”

She looked for another scar, starting to enjoy this little game of theirs - not hearing about him being hurt, obviously. But she liked getting glimpses of his past. There was still so much about him that she didn’t know. 

She traced the long oblique line across his pec. There was a matching one on the other side. “How about these?”

“Believe it or not, they were from another Ninja. He carried a blade on a chain.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

Her hand moved lower, slowly gliding down over his ribs and onto his abdomen, where a thin, barely noticeable scar resided. “And this?”

He swallowed sharply, and she felt his muscles jump beneath her wandering fingers.

Another sign of his attraction.

It was intoxicating, seeing the evidence of his desire. It made her feel strong. Bold.

For the first time since she met him, her shyness deserted her.

And for the first time in her life, she acted on impulse.  She moved towards him, one hand still resting on his stomach, the other braced by his head. 

And then she leaned closer…

And closer…

Until her lips were inches from his…

————–

Chapter 8

(Check out the references for Calina’s moves in the ring)

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