#i will probably write more in depth how i feel abt it but basically what i expected from initial trailer. not a fifty dollar game but i am

[oysterie]

playing so much eo luminous the last few days i tetris effecting fish swimming in the corners of my vision at all times.

[staraxiaa]

porcelain, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

first and foremost: upon rereading, a scene in this fic holds a lot of similarities to one from dust, diamonds on ao3 by maokitty. (the jealousy scene w the husband where the wall crumbles) especially with the dialogue. i was definitely taking inspiration from that fic while writing the scene, and wanted to make a note of it here. go read it even if ur not into aot pls bc it’s actually life-changing !! i beat my sunflower record btw this was 25k ish words written in less than 20 total writing hours. spread over 1.5 days total. also i think i fucked up the pacing a lot from what id originally planed buuut at least its over. dobby is finally free!!! anyways. the original intent for this fic was a discussion on body imagery, to anyone who has ever struggled with the unrealistic standards of social media and/or felt lesser than themselves because they were not beautiful in a 'typical' manner. but then it ballooned into a monster of its own bc i was like how can i make this hurt. i took my inspiration from porcelain + kintsugi vases... like how can i break this reader before i put her back together. i think that i'd like to touch upon similar topics again one day. as a natural extension of my style and the way i write that 'fits' the childhood theme of this collection, i don't believe i handled these topics the best i could've: a lot of them are simplified to a point that, looking back, makes me go 'eugh' a bit because there's so much depth there that i had to like, tamp down upon as a result of my own inexperience. parts of it were likely believable, and parts of it likely weren't - whether because of my youth, or because i was afraid of approaching these topics from the 'wrong' angle. either way, i hope to be able to grow as a writer to the point that i can tackle these themes again to a point where i myself can be sufficiently pleased with the depth i've put into it. that is all. if you've read up to here, thank you. i'm not really expecting this one to do nearly as well as sunflowers - the content is heavier, it's not nearly as light, and shouto is just less of a popular character overall. but this is very likely my magnum opus so far in terms of how much thought has been put into the work, so it means a lot to me even if you do not interact, and simply read up til this point. thank you. your support truly means a lot. will also update again as i think of things

unwritten scenes, headcanons, thought process

another angst scene. at the todoroki forgiveness dinner table, katsuki and izuku are probably there. i havent watched this scene i just know it exists. (was gonna go find it just for research). enji hits shouto with the 'you can marry whoever you'd like' thing majig. shouto's like, cool i didnt give a shit anyways i was gonna marry her. with or without your permission. and THEN i hit you with the akshually... she's engaged... to be honest, a lot more scenes where it was just mother and daughter. i really wanted the point to hit home that, the mother is always intending to do good in the only ways she knows how - it's not discussed thoroughly, and she's obviously a negative influence when it matters most, which is why reader cuts her off at the end. i am a firm believer that not all parenting is good parenting, even when it comes from a good place, and to me it's like when you hurt someone - it doesn't matter your intention, because that should always come secondary to the fact that you hurt them in some way. sorry. i'm not sure if cutting completely out of the life like that was necessary, but i think that in real life, sometimes it is. something to think abt / regret abt this piece ig lots more on the brother. he was not seen a lot, and i cba to include more about him cuz tbh he's only really relevant for like... 2 scenes but basically the tl;dr is that. he also feels the same pressure. it's just offscreen. (he's a man, he's his father's heir, but he sees the impact this family has upon you). i honestly think he's pookie and hold him dear to my heart but he was really just there to get the plot moving... so.... sorry guys. i didnt even bother to give him a name. BUT hes definitely a very complex character i just didnt write it..... i just needed to add a little happiness to the dysfunctional family ok the husband. okay. so. i originally wrote him in with the intention of being someone to hate, entirely and utterly, with the whole of my heart. but i absolutely hate writing in characters that don't have at least some depth/some complexity, so here goes: he was definitely in love, i think, though i'm not sure i would call it that. there was a grooming aspect to it, an age gap difference (he attended all your recitals/performances when you were underage, had his eye on you), was twice your age. i think i wrote it in a way where it could definitely be interpreted as a form of love, as twisted and fucked up as it was⏤ in the way you think of ownership, that a pretty woman is nothing more than a flower to give the sun to, to water when you'd like. but you're not. you're more than that, you need more than food and water and a roof over your head, more than pretty jewels. you just couldn't love him, and i think that's the part that fucked with him the most. the husband was always supposed to die. i toyed with different versions of this⏤ if you should be the one to kill him, a final 'hurrah' when you finally find your courage. but i thought this wasn't very in line with the reader characterization, so i didn't include this. it's ok though u guys are always #1 bosses in my heart. i hope its clear though that the reader didnt love him at any point bc i dont like him enough as a character to give him that. sorry. he was also supposed to be a mafia man... did i make that clear... but both him and the father were like. i hate these characters. the father especially (he has 0 characterization he's only plot relevant bc he has to be). wipe them both from ur minds pls xx in terms of the baby: i actually know nothing about motherhood. this is only what i've done from the best of my imagination. if it isn't accurate at all i apologize.

i did not know tumblr had a max characters per block. i yap a lot huh. anyways on to cute shouto moments <3 i really considered the idea of like. sex scenes. nothing graphic, but tl;dr with shouto when you cry, he stops immediately. this would be near the end, when you're learning to live again, but it's like, you're so moved because no one has ever done it like this for you before, and he's just worried that he's done something wrong, and it's sad but it's like. you don't know if you can ever handle touch again, but bc you're married, you think it's your duty, and you also love him, so you want to try. you guys love each other so much i could sob. i didnt add this just bc i didnt think this was the fic i wanted to start nsfw with, and bc i dont think i could do the intimacy i wanted justice. also tbh i debated on including more thoughts of shouto during the relationship with the husband but i think, while the mc would definitely think of him, she would try her best to be a good wife. i think this is textbook of abusive relationships (i tried to portray that in the way that the husband speaks and turns the fault onto mc when he hits her) where naturally, they abuse you despite you already doing the best you can, and make you feel lesser for it. i.e. she hasn't thought about shouto the whole while, hasn't done anything, doesn't intend on it, and he still blames her for the way she feels. DID I EMPHASIZE THAT HE PICKS UP EVERY CALL EVEN THO U DONT TEXT HIM ANYMORE JUST IN CASE bc shouto todoroki the man that you are... the man i wrote you as... im never marrying idgaf i write my own standards too high i also jus wanna say guys... the way u pull him out of his shell... and then its his turn to pull him out of urs.... i am a SUCKER for stories that come full circle watch me write it into mermaid au anyways im so excited!!!!! in another world, shouto is the one to catch you. somehow he's in your penthouse apartment. the man's holding a knife to your throat (??) or it's your husband trying to save his own skin. in some variations you walk off the edge yourself, in some variations your husband pushes you, in some variations it's the man. i thought this fit better. either way in all of them he was supposed to dive off the fucking building after u but i also thought: he can't be there himself but he makes sure ur taken care of anyways. sort of fitting the characterization i had for him, i think. i rlly considered a kiss scene too but it'd be sort of natural. like stepping into someone's warmth and feeling entirely comfortable in it, knowing it's what you want and knowing it's also what he wants. at the end. but i didn't add it. wouldve been sweet but unnecessary bc i think this would be further down the line and would require a separate scene. once again i scoot free of my kiss-writing responsibilities ! ! ! more on this, though, i think i really like writing about how simple intimacy can be. i do not believe you need to be physically affectionate with someone to love them, though you certainly can be, and i hope this was reflected in the way i portrayed both shouto and reader. in my dreams we are shouto's sugar babies and just vibe for the rest of our lives. and that is all. the smallest things the reader does make him so happy like. slowly. you guys are already holding hands, so a kiss on the cheek would make him the happiest man on earth. oh here's a bonus scene: at some point he takes you out to see the fireworks. the two of you are sitting, you're tucked snugly into his side, you're watching the fireworks, but when you turn, he's watching you. it's so stupidly romantic. you probably ask him what he's looking at and hes just like 'you'. you flush a little. he kisses the top of your head, grinning like the little shit he is.

i also think it'd take a length of time to get married, so you guys probably do kiss sometime before then. no clue about the scene. but canonically (aka in my head) you guys are just having a normal conversation. like Normal Normal. nothing fancy. and all of a sudden you just lean in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. he touches it, and you can see the shock on his face. dunno if you lie and say 'something there i was just getting it for you' bc im a sucker for that but he only leans a little closer and asks you to do it again. i'd like to think man is patient even tho he desperately wants to (like to the point it's painful to watch) so you have to tell him straight up it's okay to do anything, when you're ready: i.e. initiate kisses and anything else later down the line. once he gets the green light though there's no stopping (he will immediately if u ever tell him) like in my head this man has been basically touch starved all his life and he YEARNS. everyone say thank you to the anon who prompted these scenes btw notes on reader: i think what i wanted to explore with this piece was the way that your parents, the environment you grow up in, the role models you have can shape how you grow a lot. but that does not mean you need to stay that way forever. and that even if you do, you are not necessarily 'weak' or any lesser. reader never actually stood up for herself until the very end, but she was strong in her own way. she tried her best to be a good wife, even when she practically hated her husband. she persevered, she tried her best to love her child. things were bleak, but she pulled through; she kept on living, she kept on breathing. and that was enough. she was enough! <33 i also don't know if this reader was a very believable one. a lot of what i explored here was an extension of some of my own experiences, but like. i simply have not experienced a lot of it personally, unlike with my other pieces, and not at all to the same depth. i hope that there are people out there that can resonate with her and her experiences, but like not in a fucked up way. i simply hope that this story can make someone out there feel seen/heard, even if it's just a little. also putting this here to say, i tried to write reader in a way where it made her thoughts read off as like. ingrained into her? but that the way she thinks is not supposed to be normalized. please love yourselves. just wanted to make that clear djsklsfjd

[mischas]

i think you’ve talked abt this on the blog before but the js decision that sethmer was the “light/fun” couple and ryissa was the “dark/angsty” couple genuinely aided in the destruction of the show. the balance was so much better in s1 - there’s a sweetness to ryissa that’s never replicated again (for obvious bts reasons ofc, but the writing didn’t help either) and the push and pull of sethmer feels rlly natural instead of how contrived it becomes in late s2 and with the college arc. having the comic book storyline happen alongside the trey storyline is laughable and is probably when the show starting jumping the shark when it comes to relationships. there was so much depth to sethmer that got wasted and of course josh & stephanie’s only storyline ideas for marissa were just ways to punish mischa.

It absolutely did. It's ridiculous and shoots them all in the foot early. The shifts in s2 were massively impacted by irl stuff though so bts dynamics and writing were going hand in hand. I reckon they were going hand in hand all the way back in s1 too and we just didn't totally know about that until recently. At least I didn't. Not as much, at least. The bts stuff also comes from JS' preference for Rachel and SS as his self-insert relationship that only grows as s1 progresses. It just does, and that we've known for a long time. I think there was some old late s1 press saying the writers were partial to SS and were never gonna make them unlikeable. And it's just like... ok then. First off, being likeable has nothing to do with emotional resonance and grounded storytelling. There's a reason Adam says their stuff should've been stretched for entire seasons to really make things impactful and tell a worthwhile story. And I think he says it in the nicest way possible, but he's basically saying they never made it meaningful enough. Or at least beyond s1 they didn't.

Seth's 127 departure is so impactful on 201 and that iconic scene at the end of 202 but then it's mentioned like... one more time in 214? Summer spends s2 mad at him but flirting with him in the same breath. And that's fun but like... give us something meatier. We later learn in 310 that Summer's mother abandoned her. Let's dig into that!! And how Seth leaving and coming back expecting a reunion was incredibly fucked up! But they just do not go there ever in a real way and it's too bad. Seth has done fuck all to deserve Summer's forgiveness/love in 214 but he gets it anyway. And his obsessing over her sex life is not cute!!!!

I'm sure I've written entire books worth of content about RM needing more lightness. Their s1 balance being what it is just makes me more sus of bts influence. Marissa's dealing with SA/death/violence/depression/substance abuse this whole time and they can never spread that wealth around to ensure everyone's got some good drama going on. It's essentially that Squidward window meme from s2 on, lol.

[definitelynotshouting]

Hello again! Im so sorry to hear you feeling well when i sent in my ask the other day :( hoping that the life series drop tmrw will provide a much needed distraction for whatever you need it to :)

-☀️

"I know the, um, this morning didn't go… very well… but… if I could—""

"Good, he thinks, but it's a rote sentiment, not half so vicious as it had been only hours earlier."

- oh??? 👀 i am looking

- Im assuming this is the meeting they had about taking grian back to hermitcraft (and the revelation that grian feeds on emotions to survive)?? Very curious

- Now that metaphor about the childhood coat being stained is a lot more painful

-☀️

"even stolen energy can't make up for that."

"everything he'd never had the first time he— well, when Grian, the real Grian— had died."

- "stolen energy" omg i am biting ankles over this.

- And the "real Grian" thing. Yeah

- This is one of those moments where grian's whole situation is so much more potent and vivid. Imagining living as myself, but knowing im occupying someone elses body, and having my very lifeforce sustained by others?? Its not hard to understand why grian internalises and hates himself for being "a parasite". Idk thats probably very obvious to everyone else but this is the first time ive really thought about all of what that entails

-☀️

"Starving hands reach out from the depths of his mind to pull him back, stumbling, under that dark waterline."

- Love how the word "starving" implies that G falling asleep is more of a survival mechanism forcing him under so that his body can feed rather than only exhaustion

-☀️

"he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged,"

- shaking you

-☀️

"His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments."

- AHHHHJSLDHSJSVSN

- Man 🧍

- Dont have any words. Just tears.

AAAAAAAAAA SUN ANON I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX!!!! Gods im so glad these lines resonated with and interested you, they were a ton of fun to write

I have a brain today so i can actually expand on some of the things youve pointed out instead of just aiming heart eyes at you for the compliments fjsndjsjejke so for the first point, yes!!! Scar and Xisuma returned to the others post chap 6 and were like "Well that sucked!! Wow!!!!" I wouldnt say theyve given all the information to everybody, because they themselves aren't exactly ready to discuss that beyond the immediately required basics, but everyone else was given the gist: convo went badly, Grian is being taken back to Hermitcraft on Scar and Xisuma's insistence. Both Scar and Xisuma feel fucking horrible for how that conversation went down-- nobody had a good time there. So while the plan is to eventually get everyone up to speed, they're sorta taking this time to be miserable about what was essentially a fight that ended in stripping Grian of his autonomy

There's also a little cross-communication happening here in the background, btw: Scar and Xisuma have a pretty big picture now, but Tango, Mumbo, and Pearl have been fed that false info abt the potions being potentially useful. So, yknow :) just smth to keep in mind there haha

Your point about how it almost feels like Grian falling asleep is a survival mechanism is spot on the money. It's essentially him falling into a state of low power mode, where everything but his most basic of functions is shut down for a brief time in favour of preserving energy-- i would honestly consider it more equivalent to a coma than actual sleep. Hence Tango's concern, and subsequent relief when Grian woke up; the entire time he was unconscious, he was fully unresponsive. So, yknow. Real nerve-wracking to see, especially after that prior full week of unresponsiveness as his body struggled to maintain itself.

Tango's role here is indeed deliberate, both on a watsonian and doylist level!! The reason however is the exact same for both: Tango is a little more removed, personally, from this situation. Grian was-- and is-- his friend, ofc, but he's not as close to whats happening. Meanwhile, Xisuma is in 24/7 server babysitting mode, Pearl is not fit to be a caretaker, and Scar and Mumbo were tearing themselves apart by trying to sit and look after him. So Tango got assigned caretaker duties 😂😂😂😂 it was an effective way to divvy up tasks and keep everybody busy, and somewhat hilariously, so far Tango is the only person Grian isnt supremely upset with for one reason or another. And thats why he's continued to stay in caretaker mode lol he is truly just. The only guy who can rn

I also just sorta think of him as a surprisingly emotionally savvy fixer-type, in terms of personality. Like. I think he just gets what people set down in front of him, yknow? Although hell if he knows what to do with it once he's got em. He fumbles a lot, sure, and he defaults to fix-it mode, but he is getting the message when Grian essentially says "i dont wanna talk anymore" without actually saying it

As for Grian and his headspace, rn, theres definitely a complexity at work here where he wants to die and is very genuine in that, but he IS also grateful he's seeing his friends. He cant deny that. As painful as it is, he still loves them very much, and ultimately he's trying to do this for their own good as much as for his own sense of punishment and relief. I think like... now that he's really creeping up on what he has planned, and the pieces are suddenly becoming a reality, theres a bit of dissonance he's fighting against to stay on course. He wants his friends happy; he also wants to die. He's so overwhelmingly tired; he is, as much as he feels he doesnt deserve it, glad to have his friends close. That sort of hopelessness mixed with a warped sense of comfort that he got to see and interact with them one last time. If that makes any sense. Its a bit of complexity i wanted to make sure i added in, because people are so rarely fully decided on any course of action they choose to take, without even a single flicker of doubt (and especially one so final as this). Im glad youve picked up on that, and that you appreciate what i was trying to set down with it!!! :D

This was such a lovely message, as always-- you are very sweet, sun anon, and i appreciate you lots :] i hope you're having an excellent day!!!

[beet-le]

okay I am really autistic and think abt them all the time so

golden wind theories/ hcs abt the main gangs mental illnesses

okay I dont think we talk about how mista probably has ocd enough. we see that he has intrusive thoughts/ obsessions and while we don’t see him have a lot of obvious compulsions but he often acts in a way that may seem irrational to some and has strict routines and fears something will go wrong when they are interrupted. he counts things obsessively, has rituals, etc etc.

short aside: pls don't think I am glorifying/ romanticizing anything I talk abt here these are theories and if anything I say is inaccurate pls lemme know!! I did research abt what I talk abt here but these are my own personal theories/ observations/ how I relate to them :)

I see a lot of people hc narancia as having ADHD but I am here to further my everyone in bucci gang has autism agenda. /hj I am autistic and relate to him. how he has trouble reading peoples intentions and trusts too easily is smth I really relate too! That's not to say he couldn't also have ADHD but if you read him as autistic it adds a lot of depth to his backstory <:) he's also highly empathetic and struggles regulating his emotions.

god sorry this is cringe

oh obviously he's also dyslexic :)

moving on this is obvious and more a plea to people to do research and write realistic recovery for leone being an alcoholic.

I would also love to see more people talking about Bruno. Specifically within the context of bruabba and his savior complex, I can't help but think he would be a little bitter than he is always the one saving people and that he's not allowed to be weak despite all the trauma he went through at a young age and joining the mafia at 14. It would definitely create more vulnerability issues to play parent to not only three traumatized children but also your so, the one who you are meant to feel safest with. I think a lot of Bruno's savior complex issues stems from him thinking that the crimes he has committed in his past and continues to commit as part of his role within Passione make him a bad person, and to atone for these sins he "saves" others. You can see how angry he is when he takes Narancia to the hospital and then he says he also wants to join the gang. To Bruno this is akin to spitting in his face. 'You would throw away the second chance I gave you to make the same mistakes I did?' idk I love him and so many people treat him as if he is perfect and I think he deserves to be complex and maybe resent his family for treating him as a therapist and savior and not always like a flawed human being. basically please let us have more dysfunctional bruabba family I need them to live.

I could write a whole essay on fugo so I shall save him for another time and because I don't trust my own intelligence to talk about him. fugo peak.

A lot of dude bros get mad at Giorno's "lack of personality" as if it doesn't stem directly from him being neglected as a child. He was punished for showing normal emotions as a kid so he hides them as he gets older. He could also totally be read as autistic and thats a hc that holds a special place in my heart. Opposed to Narancia, who is on the high empathy end of the spectrum, Gio, partly as a response to how he was raised, has lower empathy which also effects how he communicates with others. I think he is such a complex character and wish more people devoted time to analyzing him rather than writing him of as boring.

Thats all I have the mental space to write about for write now but I care these idiots so much and please tell me what you think!! Bucci gang 4 eva.

[oddball-artz]

YOU MENTIONED AN EPITHET!

*cool epic drumroll*

WHAT IS HER EPITHET? SOUNDS COOL, AND DOES IT HAVE ANY MAJOR DRAWBACKS?

(Apologies in advance for how long it takes for me to answer these, creative block is a bitch, tysm for asking abt her though, I can't even express how excited I am to have someone who isn't me or my partner like an oc of mine) Her epithet is soothe, but I'm still working out the details of her major powerset, but I can give you some of her powers and the drawbacks her epithet has (these are subject to tweaks and changes however, and if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear em) :]

She has the ability to heal and soothe the pain from wounds if she can touch it (think the ability lay on hands from d&d). Visually, when she does this, a lavender colored aura surrounds her hands. When someone touches the aura, it emits a sensation close to that of menthol. Drawback to this is that her hands will sometimes go numb with the same menthol-like numbness, but this time hiked up to an uncomfortable degree(kinda like when your arm falls asleep but on steroids). This doesn't happen often, but the more she uses her epithet, the more likely the chance of it happening. It can last from anywhere between a few seconds and a few minutes, and she just kinda has to wait it out. Heat helps the numbness fade faster, so she carries around those snap to heat packs in her pockets just in case.

She has another aura, but this one calms rather than heals. The aura itself is less opaque and more shimmery than its healing counterpart. Still affects the likelihood of the numbness, tho. (This aura is less like lay on hands and more like sanctuary, which is also a dnd ability or Molly's silence bubble). She can shape it and adjust how far it reaches (within limits of about 10 feet). Within the aura, it's been described as feeling like the weight of the world has been taken off your shoulders, even just for a moment. Dalia wouldn't know though, all her powers only work on others.

She also has exactly one summon. It's glowing moth things (that may or may not be inspired by the visuals for Here Comes A Thought from Steven Universe) she can summon a maximum 10 at a time, and they're pretty average size for a moth. When they make contact with someone who's not Dalia, they poof into the same calming aura that she can make, just on a way smaller scale. There's two problems that come with them, though. One, she can't unsummon them once they're summoned, she has to wait for them to poof on their own. And two, sometimes when she's nervous or stressed, they just kinda appear. She's not consciously summoning them, but they are her newest power, so she has trouble controlling them and making sure she doesn't summon them on accident.

I'll probably go more in-depth about it later, but that's the basic run-down of it. (Also, sorry for any typos or logical inconsistencies, I blame it on the fact that a lot of the writing for this was done at ungodly hours of the night lmao)

[freesidexjunkie]

NSFW alphabet tag post

Tagged by the amazing and wonderful @commander-krios!! I am. A little too ace for some of these, so some answers are gonna be partial or skipped. I'm also doing both Sarissa (Dragon Age/solavellan) and Maevris (BG3/durgetash) because some of these I feel like i have answers for one and not the other. Sometimes both.

Leaving this open for anyone who wants to but i also specifically feel like. @spaceratprodigy. you got some ideas abt faith and max don't you? 👀👀

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Sarissa: very clingy, touchy snuggling. Like, every square inch of skin on skin contact available clingy. Like, stay locked in an embrace in the same position you were in at the end for hours kind of snuggling. Probably very much "okay now stroke my hair and tell me you love me" vibes. Not a "okay now we're done see you later" kind of person. She's gonna stay there for ages afterwards hugging and saying dorky cute things.

Maevris: probably depends? If it's just a casual thing she's probably ready to leave right after. If it's with gort less casual, probably some more emotionally intimate stuff like snuggling and maybe helping each other clean up etc.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Idk what their favorite parts of their own bodies would be, but

Sarissa's favorite part of Solas is probably gonna be forearms/hands. I feel like he'd have those really hot arms that look good in rolled up sleeves. You know the ones i mean.

Maevris: listen. He's not called Enver Gortit for nothing. Those bitches are pillowy. Heavenly. Grade A++ tits.

C = Cum

Gonna be honest. This is not a part of sex that I think about very much. Both for asexual reasons and for sensory reasons. But i will say that in all the stuff i write between Mae and Gort, pull out game is the last thing on their mind. If you catch my drift.

D = Dirty Secret

Idk man i think Mae's deepest darkest secret is that she actually does enjoy being loved and cared for and treated tenderly. Which is disgusting. To her.

E = Experience

In terms of Sarissa: i kind of alluded to this in the latest chapter, and i have more in depth stuff about it in my character notes. She was like 20 when the Inquisition started and very... not exactly introverted, but it's hard to go have a normal life in your clan when you don't have any family and you're basically the heir to the person taking care of everyone? She's got Aang in the air temple syndrome kinda. She didn't really get opportunities to explore relationships before the Inquisition, let alone anything physical. So, when she leaves home and starts hooking up for the first time with the well mannered hobo apostate elf and he ends up... doing what he does. Well. It certainly adds an extra layer of betrayal and sting to the situation (: She did try to date around a bit (or at least rebound) after the whole Trespasser thing but. Well. Trauma and trust issues (((: i promise i love her i just have to Put Her Through It

F = Favourite Position

Mae is 100% a pillow princess. Okay. So her favorite positions are going to be anything that lets her sit back and let someone else drive. Idk if that counts towards positions necessarily but there you go. Sarissa's favorites are again gonna be anything super touchy and close and clingy. She would probably very much prefer to be facing her partner and very entangled.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Sarissa is 100% a little goofy. Mostly in terms of like. Bad jokes and innuendos and anything a little silly. Mae is probably a little more serious, just by virtue of being a lot more no nonsense (especially when Gortash is doing something she considers nonsense (like flirting with her while she pretends to be unbothered)).

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Iirc, elves in Dragon Age don't have a lot of body hair to begin with (comparatively). But Sarissa is Dalish, so. Like yeah she's very on top of her hygiene (you have to be when you're outside 95% of your life) but. She would be very much natural in terms of hair. Whatever amount is natural for elves i guess.

For Mae, idk enough about tiefling biology to know about their body hair, but all the tiefs I've seen in the game are pretty hairless? And while yeah she might not bat an eye at being covered in blood and guts, she does have meticulous personal hygiene routines. And very extra ones. She's a cult leader and part god and her boyfriend probably has multiple mansions with the finest bath oils and soaps and etc etc. She's pampered as fuck in that aspect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Oh yeah, the romantic aspect is my bread and butter baybee. They're both very emotionally and romantically driven in the moment, though Mae is more loathe to admit it. For Sarissa, it's more of a giggly, butterflies, "you are my person and i just want to be with you all the time" kind of intimacy, whereas for Maevris it's more like. This crushing need to be touched, to be held, to have sweet words of affirmation and affection whispered to her. To be cared for and wanted. Like an anchor, like clinging onto a lifeboat in the middle of an insanely awful and fucked up storm.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

This is another thing i just don't really think about for asexual reasons lol. But going off vibes alone first thought without really considering much detail? Sarissa not really, Maevris sometimes maybe?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Maevris my beloved you are never going to escape the praise kink allegations if i have anything to say about it. Also the bratty allegations. More on that later maybe?

L = Location (Favourite places to do the deed)

For Sarissa, my first thought was "probably in nature, that would make sense right" but on further thought. I think a picturesque outdoors spot would be a lovely idea to her, but the most enticing aspect of any location would probably be the privacy. Which is hard to get outdoors. Growing up Dalish you learn not to take privacy for granted, so having her own private quarters in Haven and in Skyhold to do ~whatever~ she wanted was a very welcome novelty. Not to say she was above indulging in other locations, though.

For Maevris, probably those big fancy satiny luxurious beds Enver has. Like, we saw the temple of Bhaal. That bedroom isn't shabby. But the unnecessarily lavish and showy and decadent beds Enver has (for impressing company and not himself, we know damn well that man will sleep curled up in his workshop if it's just him) are...something else. A bit like stepping into a different world.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

I saved this one for last bc it was stumping me the most and im still at a loss for like. Specific turn ons? I guess? But in general for Sarissa it would be the kinds of things that give her butterflies and catch her off guard in sweet ways. Like hearing Solas refer to her as his anything (partner, love, vhenan, etc etc) to someone else would make her insides do a little happy dance; hearing him say it directly to her in a ~private moment~ would short circuit her brain (in a good way). Innocent little things like a hand on her back as he passes, bringing her something she didn't realize she needed. He's probably got a lot of court rizz that would set her insides on fire when he used it. For Mae, i think she likes the challenge; or specifically, being the challenge. Very "what are you gonna do about it" "oh yeah? prove it" kind of girl. Homegirl wants to be cornered like a hare and she wants to sass the fox the whole time. This is all a bit of a front to hide the fact that she just wants someone else to be in control and tell her she's a good girl.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sarissa's would be multiple people at once. Threesomes and such wouldn't be her vibe. My soft girl also wouldn't be super comfortable with anything rough or harsh. For Mae, i know this puts me in the minority for durges, but anything to do with like. Sexualizing her specifically for the murder and violence aspect? That's her day job, she is taking over the family business but not bc she's super passionate about her work. Not that the violence and blood itself is the turn off part of that, but feeling like she's almost being used as someone else's fantasy? She's above that. She's a child of a god and she's the Chosen of a god. She's nobody's bucket list lay.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I'm positive there's a tweet somewhere from Patrick Weekes saying that Solas definitely eats out so. There's that for Sarissa. But I haven't given it a ton of thought ig. I will say that as far as Mae's concerned? Gale isn't the only ambitious Chosen in Baldur's Gate with a practiced tongue. (as i may have written in this fic)

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

All i can think to say for pace is that Mae is definitely very needy. Like, desperate bucking kind of needy. Idk if that counts as pace?

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

I don't think either of them would be opposed to it vs like, something long and drawn out and w/e? It would probably be depend on the situation but i doubt either of them would be super against it?

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

I am certain Solas learned a lot of neat tricks in his "explorations of the Fade" and Sarissa is definitely down to learn. For Maevris, i feel like it almost goes without saying that any durgetash pairing is gonna have a very high tolerance for risk.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Uhhh. No idea. Their stamina is however long i can write without running out of new words for penis, i guess.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

This is another one i just haven't really put much thought into for ace reasons. But for Mae at least, i feel like if you date an artificer, there's gonna be some kind of invention or tool brought in eventually...?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ahahaha did i mention that Mae is kind of bratty? Did you check out the fic I linked earlier? Not so much that she likes to tease, but that she has. A certain enjoyment in pretending to be annoyed at Enver's teasing. And in being vocal about not going along with it while she's very enthusiastically going along with it

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Let me plug another fic for Mae to say that she has no problem being loud and no problem being heard by others. With the right inducement, that is.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Sarissa is definitely aspec. She has a lot of parts of my personal experience and make up and that's one of them.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Both AFAB

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Okay so when i think of yearning, i think of the soul crushing, deep seated emotional need for someone that feels like your throat is closing up and you need them like you need to breathe. Which is definitely Mae when she lets herself be a little more vulnerable. For Sarissa, depending heavily on the point in her story, it's less all encompassing inescapable yearning and more touchy, constant hand holding/arm linking/hugging yearning and definitely "okay but if i do get you alone i wouldn't say no to anything that meant being closer to you."

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sarissa is gonna be snrk mimimi not long after most times. She is also not going to let go. We're going to bed now, comrade kinda deal.

this was really fun to write and think abt, thank you so much for tagging meeee 💖💖 some picrews of my two wonderful and perfect girls that i be putting thru situations for those who stuck thru to the end

[id-rather-be-home]

Hiii I’m the a/b/o biology girl. I love that you mentioned female alphas bc in that same fic Nancy was an alpha and Jonathan an omega and all the fic really mentioned was a claiming ceremony where Nancy bit Jonathan along with them not wanting to have kids atm but I’ve always wondered what if they did, would both of them essentially be intersex and that’s how Nancy would get Jonathan pregnant but besides that the questions I mentioned about the anatomy chart I seen were mostly abt how if the male has a uterus basically behind their sex organs and connected to their rectum could you be able to see that before they ever know they’re an omega through like an x-ray which would mean you could also somewhat determine who’s an alphas/beta or would it be a thing that like it magically appears during puberty and if so I was wondering abt the biology behind all that of basically your body growing an entirely new organ/how on a cellular level that would happen and how the endocrine system among other systems must play a role in it those are just my initial thoughts if you have any please tell me so I can ponder over them also like I said before combining real life biology with fantasy is so fun I’ve even thought abt the concept/pregnancy of vampires in twilight and werewolf genetics in teen wolf in order to better understand and pass my biomed class 😅 if you ever want to hear my in depth but very likely improbable thoughts on those as well at any point

oh my gosh i ADORE alpha nancy and omega jonathan!!!! the more i learn about this fic the more upset i become that i missed out on it lmfao

for female alphas i always imagined that they are also intersex the way male omegas are but would likely have a harder time getting pregnant compared to male and female omegas, and female betas. so female alphas that are with another female partner or a male omega typically wouldn't be the one to carry the baby - it would probably only happen in cases where they really want to or it's a happy accident. female alphas' biology is essentially hardwired to breed, not get bred so i can definitely see jonathan being the one to carry their pups! especially with how driven nancy is career-wise, it'd make since that jonathan is the biological mother since they have that option

as for the anatomy and how it develops!

i know that there are a lot of authors who write a/b/o sex characteristics in a way so that they manifest over time with later onsets of puberty (usually ages 13-18ish with 18 being a late bloomer) while betas simply never present. and that makes sense if there isn't intersex anatomy in the universe, but i've always preferred it so that male omegas and female alphas are intersex with different secondary sex characteristics (aka alpha versus omega instincts)

i kind of doubt that an entire sex organ would develop outside of the womb (i feel like that would take entirely too much energy from the body), so it's more like some of those hormones are just more dormant for a period of time until the omega or alpha is in their sexual prime (aka when their heats and ruts start)

if we're going off the picture that you saw with the birth canal being connected to the rectum (which isn't my favorite interpretation, but i guess it'd be the equivalent to a cloaca) then parents wouldn't know the status of their child until presentation or if they get an x-ray done to see the organs

i'm thinking that most families wouldn't do this since they wouldn't particularly care, but the ones that have bias against male omegas (and omegas in general let's be honest) might. lonnie would be the type of person who would insist on getting the x-rays done for both jonathan and will when they're little and then bitching about them being omegas and blames joyce for making them that way cuz he's a piece of shit

[gab-has-adhd]

i was the last anon... omg u replied!! did not expect that tbh 😭😭 & yeah i don't *actually* hate illumi, in fact i think it'd be near impossible atp because. a) he's way too relatable + b) i adore his character, and his family and his everything bc of how complex he is. he's amazing. stunning. jaw-dropping. horrendous. terrible. terrifying. all at once & I Appreciate Him So Much (tm) for it :]

also speaking of illumi... i am so interested in kikyo. like ik a lot of people in the hxh fandom find her irritating (she is sometimes) but she's a mother too - specifically the zoldyck's mother - and i think as a character, she would have such an in-depth backstory that we haven't even gotten into yet (at least from where i'm currently at rn in the manga lmfao.. manifesting the future chapters give us more abt her bc i Need to know everything about her history in meteor city 🙏)

another thing abt ur reply - UR SO RIGHT ABT WANTING TO BEHAVE LIKE ILLUMI 🙁🙁 as someone who relates to his trauma & thought process, me and him cld not be more different fr. i am too Fiery. i get into too much Trouble for losing my temper at the Worst times. illumi tho?? he looks emotionless (even tho he's not) but i need that kind of detachedness to get around w my daily life 😭 god made me traumatized but not cold as ice How is this fair Please i need a life refund T___T

im so sorry omg i keep writing essays in these asks 🙁 anyways i also hope u have a great morning/day/evening!!! its almost 12am i need to get back to studying for exams LMAOO hope ur doing well tho (drink water bff)

Hi again anon! 🌸 thank you for sending me another ask ufufufu it's almost 5 am for me but it seems I'm going to hae a sleepless night aGAIN for some reasons gnsngmsmcj

Good luck for your exams! I sincerely hope you'll be successful <3 and please never worry about sending me essays hahaha I love it very much 💕

I agree so much with you on Kikyo! I am usually not very big on female characters for some reasons but kikyo is so cool! I need to know more about her! I like her fucked up personality though lmaooo she is a Zoldyck indeed 🙏 like yes she IS irritating but it's because she literally is the MOTHER in a FAMILY OF ASSASSINS I think at this point every Zoldyck is allowed to be irritating LOL

I truly hope Togashi will give us more about her. She's from Meteor City after all, who knows what crazy things happened to her back there! Also I desperately need to know how she met Silva and how they fell in love.

Where are you currently in the manga? Just wanna make sure I don't drop any spoiler material if you send me more asks ufufu!

ALSO OMG I FEEL YOU SO MUCH ABOUT NOT BEHAVING LIKE ILLUMI. Like sure he probably behaves like this because he was deeply traumatized but... look I have ADHD and BPD, nature wasn't very nice with me. The combination makes me extremely impulsive, extremely emotive and very easily angered. My behavior is basically an emotional rollercoaster LMAOOO I just wish I was able to keep a cold face like Illumi 😭 who knows maybe his emotions are wild in his brain but at least he's able to completely conceal them. This is a skill I would appreciate having.

Instead my traumatized dumb ass self decided to gift me the ability to hide my upset-ness until I eventually explode. Which is. A pretty unhealthy behavior LMAO but I'm working on it :)))

Who knows, maybe one day Illumi is going to explode too 😶 not saying I actually want him to explode but somehow I think I would get so emotional if it ever happend to him. Like. Illumi breaking down nervously and. IDK crying maybe. This sounds wildly out of character but wow...

[gothsuguru]

hii <3 i saw your post, and first of all you should be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and into a new art medium! i know it might seem tedious and frustrating in the beginning, and instant results are way more desirable than slow progress, but please be kind to yourself and understand that practice truly does make perfect! you've got this !!! <3

secondly, there's entirely too many tips to memorise now-a-days, and trying to learn them all is overwhelming, — so i think the best way to improve is by watching youtubers such as @/AngelGanev! his shorter videos where he helps improve beginner artists’ art pieces are educational whilst also being really entertaining at the same time, which (imo) makes it easier for the tips and tricks to stick!

another thing, i know you're probably gonna dislike this Imao cause its a pretty overwhelming suggestion, but studying!! skeletons!!! helpsss! i promise!! think of it like this: if you try to write an essay about a book that you haven't even read, because you lack important contextual knowledge from the book, your essay will lack depth and will be poor quality. the same goes for anatomy!! you can't draw a proportionate body if you lack the knowledge of where the proportions are actually supposed to be (speaking from experience 😭)

this is all i'm writing for now because i don't wanna clog your askbox too much, but please Imk if you have an questions, i'd be happy to help :D please keep on trying, you can do this!!! <3

AHHHHHHHHHH FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE SOOOOOO SWEET & HELPFUL THANK YOU SM!!! and omg that’s too real……. i’m impatient and also Not disciplined so that combo PLUS trying to learn art is beating my ass 😭 but you’re right i should keep at it and just LEARN properly bc i tried to learn ages ago but i never really did the work of Properly Learning anatomy/face shapes/color theory etc but i wanna change that now!!!!!

AND OOOOOH I’LL CHECK HIS VIDEOS OUT!!! THANK YOUUUUUUU <333 i’m a v visual person so hopefully that can help me out! omg…….. tell me why i didn’t even think about skeletons that’s a good idea i should probably learn how to analyze that too 😭 THANK YOU SM FRIEND!!!!

and please feel free to hop into my inbox as much as you want omg i need ALL the help i can get 😭 if you have any other tips i’d love to hear them!! <3 :3 MWAH!!! ILYSM

(& hehehehe since you said i can ask more questions i just may do that rn 🤭 IF YOU DON’T MIND OFC!!!!)

- HOW DO YOU DRAW A HEAD & FACES??? i swear when i do it it’s so ugly and wonky and not at All the face shape i’m trying to go for 😭 same w actual facial features like woah…. Someone Take This Apple Pencil Away From Me

- do you happen to know where i could learn how to draw heads/expressions/bodies? do you rec pinterest or books or videos? bc everything i’ve seen so far isn’t the Style or Vibe i’m going for 😭 basics are so hard too like damn

y’know what since i’m a beginner i’ll just ask these ndndndnd i can learn abt colors/shading/lighting a bit later methinks i just need to get the basics down 😭 BUT TYSM FRIEND AHHHHHH I APPRECIATE YOU SM 🥰🩷

^ me but switch out gojo for yourself :3

[videostak]

didnt end up watching lovers live cause i ended up watchig almost famous w/ my sister it was alright u kno like meh one of those 70s nostalgia movies that kinda annoy me. like that and dazed n confused type stuff rly annoy me. philip seymour hoffman as lester bangs was v cool tho lol. like idk felt appropriate casting. the rest of the movie was like alright not bad but u kno it bieng autobiographical makes u kinda want more but also knowing that its restrained a lot by being a safe type autobiographical movie u kno. wathcing it tho makes me think abt my life and music and where i should be or where i should go hmmm. like that record store just straight up hired me w/ no experience or anything just cause ppl here have such dogshit taste that the stuff i was selling made me seem really cultured lol. and i dont even kno if ill be able to get a job at the store downtown cause i realized that i probably didnt get it the first time cause theres like. no contemporary music i listen to. I just theres nothing i feel worht listening toooo idk stuff ill be like oh tahts cool but really think they didnt give it to me back then cause like i didnt say much abt new music and to be bleak abt the current music scene would def be a red flag for them like to be truthful lol. like that and i listed tons of freakout shit like brotzmann no wave  minimalism etc lolll. thought like itd make me look real smart but realized it just made them think to not put me behind the register lol. anyways thats prooobably why i didnt get it tho honestly they couldve just already decided not to give it to me from the start since it was a interview i got from a ex friends friend so like couldve just all been a formality. another reason is i had mentioned recently getting the stones first album on cd and the interviewer wass like “u just started listening to the stones?” and i was like ya basically LOL so that also probably cost me the job lol... which is funny cause now im like a huge rolling stnes fan tbh like just rly totally understand why theyre as popilar as they are and like v much will praise the stones over stuff like led zeppelin n stuff lol wel i guuess that isnt sayying tooo much since i rly have a tolerate/hate relationship w/ music like zep and who. anyways if i do apply again im gonna try to list new artists even if its shit i dont actually listen to like honestly rn just thinking ummm harry styles,tennis,beach house,black midi, death grips, sophie, maybe some more. of the ones there i only actually have listenend to tennis black midi death grips and sophie. but gotta have a list like that just so they think i listen to contemporary stuff even tho i dont :P just like b4 i thought there were nice bands and there are nice artists like sophie for sure is up there but like kinda become disenchanted w/ so many modern groups just knowing who theyre shamelessly ripping off u kno like every modern indie artist doing a stephen malkmus type voice/delivery or sounding like a bad cocteau twins parody or like if mbv were muzak. u knooooo. but i obv cant say that cause like. the new stuff is what sells and what they have to be savvy on since its like u kno theyre selling that new. wiiiish i could be in some positiion where i could state my opinion and get paid and be honest and ppl respect me. i guess thats the point of a journalist but obv writing articles abt how much shit sucks and why u should only listen to real artists like the stooges or the nutty squirrels and stuff w/ real deep actual depth that are actually saying/doing something like the b52s or cluster isnt something that is like contemporary -_- liiike idk just need tooo make some money i guess but i think its insane when ppl acknowledge my personality and opinions so im like i should exist on that alone lol. even w/in the time that i got rejected for that job ive listened to so much more and could genuinely add more to that list even tho i get into music at a snails pace. like b4 i just put dub on the application but now ive truly heard more reggae and could just list both reggae/dub together instead of just dub. sucks tho appplying knowing they rly dont care abt music or passion and just need someone who knows whats goin on w/ t swift n harry styles T-T they should hire me cause i see visions of god when listening to einstein on the beach very loud and focusing on the flute

[imjusttpeachy]

sleepy angel. (c.h.)

Can I please request some cute corpse husband fluff. I really want something adorable and cute with him. Like playing with the readers hair and cuddles and that. -anon

okay yall i hope this isn’t too weird but i saw a tiktok abt it and thought it was the cutest thing ever and just— i needed to write about it. pretty short but i’m just getting back into writing sorryyyy

please check out the warnings!!

playlist

the licks - lavender kiss

wet bandits - movies as friends

puma blue - want me

dre’es - warm

daniel ceasar - get you

summary: reader is feeling a little cuddly but doesn’t want to disturb Corpse during his stream. who knew the floor could be so comfortable?

word count: 944

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, dom/sub undertones???, basically you sit on the floor and he plays with your hair pls don’t read if uncomfy with stuff like that

•••

You didn’t consider yourself a clingy girlfriend.

No, not at all.

It wasn’t clingy to want to be around your favourite person at all times, just to be sure that they’re safe and happy and not too stressed, right? Just to be sure.

Well, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you crawled out of bed and shuffled toward your boyfriend’s office where he was currently streaming. He probably still had a few hours left, but your skin was itching to feel his touch. You had already spent the past couple hours smothering yourself in his hoodie and comforter, reveling in his addicting smell. Though, even with the soft plush completely surrounding you, you couldn’t shake the feeling of just needing to be near him.

You shouldn’t distract him— that was the last thing he needed when he was already so anxious during streams, but it couldn’t hurt to just sit with him, right? It may even be relaxing to have you there, just keeping him company.

Pushing open the door to his office slowly, you peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately spotting that messy mop of black hair only illuminated by the monitor’s light in front of it. You found it odd at first, that he liked playing in the dark, but realized how much smaller it made the room feel therefore being more comforting to him. Finally gathering all your nerve, you pushed the door open and slipped inside the dark room quickly shutting it behind you. You felt kinda creepy, hiding in the shadows and against the walls of the room but you didn’t want to scare him at a bad point in the game and embarrass him in front of his audience. Watching his monitor from over his shoulder, you thought of a plan as you waited for the round to end. You didn’t want to distract him, so sitting in his lap was a big no; glancing downward though, a grin began to pull at you lips as you finally figured it out.

The game went on for maybe another minute or so before the ending screen played and all the characters began transporting back into the lobby— it was go-time. Silently slinking down to your hands and knees, you slowly crawled over to the side of the chair before hooking your chin over his thigh and gazing up at him. You felt his body jerk slightly at the pressure on his thigh, his gaze shooting down from the monitor and locking onto yours as you grinned at him from the floor. He gaped at you for a second before his hand shot out to mute his mic.

“Baby, what-“

“Just wanna be with you,” You could hear the confusion in his tone before you cut him off with your quiet mumble, sighing softly and closing your eyes as you settled in your place, hands folding to rest in your lap as to not accidentally reach out and wrap around his leg as well. Though, as the room settled into silence your brow furrowed as you lifted your chin off of his thigh to look up at him, mind beginning to race with the thought of making him uncomfortable. “Is... Is that okay? I’m sorry I should’ve-“

“No, no it’s okay bunny, I was just surprised.” It was his turn to cut off your nervous rambling just as you began to spiral, his hand coming down to rest against your jaw tilting your gaze back up until it locked with his again. His eyes drifted over your face as you looked up at him with probably the most lovesick expression painted all over your face, nuzzling into the warmth of his hand. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as you settled your chin back over his thigh, sighing in content. Your eyes were fluttering closed when he spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re okay down there?”

A soft hum was your only response as you shuffled closer to him, finally giving in and wrapping your arms around his calf; he tensed for a moment and you were just about to unravel yourself from him again when he relaxed before a large hand found it’s place atop your head. You could practically feel yourself melt into him as he began to card his fingers through your hair, another soft hum escaping your lips in content as his nails scratched along your scalp. Chuckling softly, he leaned back toward him set up and reached for his mic, the hand in your hair still carding slowly through your locks causing you to shiver every so often when his rings ran along your skin.

“Hey, sorry, (Y/N) just needed to ask me something.” You giggled softly as he lied right through his teeth to his stream-mates. It was harmless though, just a little funny; you couldn’t hear them anyway. Even if you could though, all you could focus on was the hand running continuously over your head despite the game starting up again.

“Nah just what I want to eat, we can literally never decide what to have…” His words trailed off of your focus as your body relaxed even further into his. The soothing motion of his hand beginning to lull you to sleep no matter how much you tried to fight it off. His thumb began to run along the cheek that wasn’t smushed against his thigh as you floated in and out of consciousness, his touch so gentle you’d begin to think you’re made of glass. You could barely make out his mumbled words as his soft touches finally plunged you in the depths of sleep.

“Sweet dreams, princess”

•••

When your eyes fluttered open again they were immediately met with pitch black, which would’ve startled you if not for the solid form resting halfway on top of your body; your mouth pulling into a wide grin as you felt the slow breaths of your person warm the crook of your neck. Reaching toward your nightstand, you pat around blindly until your hand lands on your phone— as much as you didn’t want to move, you didn’t know how much time has passed since you had joined Corpse in his office. Squinting as the light from your phone flooded the room, you quickly turned down the brightness before looking at the time, confirming that you definitely didn’t have anywhere to be for at least the next few hours.

However, as you continued to stare down at your phone you began to scroll through the seemingly never-ending mentions, you only became more and more confused. Finally biting the bullet and tapping on one it immediately opened your screen to Corpse’s Instagram— but more importantly, a picture of you.

There you were, completely relaxed face smushed against his thigh as you slept soundly, but that wasn’t all. That signature hand had taken it’s place carding through your hair just as he did to lull you to sleep. Your heart was already fluttering as you stared at the photo on your screen but you think it might’ve stopped as your eyes caught the caption.

corpsehusband: “sleepy angel”

•••

@.valkyrae: was this during the stream? omg corpse you liar

@.sykkuwu: u guys are so cute

@.jacksepticeye: SIMP

@.bretmanrock: jealous 🙄 corpse baby i thought we had something

@.tinakitten: okay loverboy

•••

hey guys long time no see! i was gonna make a post abt why i was gone for so long but i think that’d be overkill. i’m okay now and i’m very excited to keep writing for you!

i think i’m gonna branch out to other fandoms as well but idk yet. i’m working through the requests in my inbox rn so i’m gonna do those first. gonna open up drabble requests too!

okay that’s it! thanks for reading as always, let me know what u think down below or in my asks! love you guys, hope you’re doin well <3

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[starsdies]

loving your meta and drabble so much. can i ask what you’re writing atm?

thank you so much, first of all. that’s really kind and i’m happy to know my rambling is appreciated somewhere out there. my wip folder rn for obikin is a few things, but let me go in depth:

for high priority wips they will be bolded. side project wips are italicized. anything else is an idea / hasn’t been started.

1. professor obi-wan modern au. this one will be around 20-25k, though won’t be released until october for the obikin fest. i cant give away too much because it’s meant to be a secret until reveal day, but expect alot of flirtation and anakin being a puppy dog.

2. lightsaber engraving au. this is based on a post i made a few days ago, but this one shot will probably be around 12k. basically obi-wan discovers his initial’s on anakin’s lightsaber, and it’s a very emotional piece with some confessions and realizations and character study.

3. baby teeth chapter two. this will be around 8k, with omega anakin having his first heat since he was 19 in the middle of a battle. hurt/comfort, nsfw with knotting and breeding kink. mostly nsfw but does have some mild worldbuilding in an omegaverse world.

4. teach how to kiss au. yes i started a wip for this. again based on a post i made a few days ago where anakin approaches obi-wan to teach him how to kiss. lots of horny guilt and eager anakin. nsfw. unknown word count.

5. obikin patrochilles one shot. still in plotting stages but i do think this will just be based on a line of dialogue from miller’s adaption, with references and parallels. mostly nsfw, but with background plot. unknown word count.

6. modern bdsm au. drafting a fic with dungeon master ben kenobi and anakin ‘dragged to the dungeon by friends but oh my god who is that i’d let him spank me for sure’ skywalker who stumble into a fun relationship.

some other ideas i’m juggling include a post-66 bounty hunter anakin redemption fic, a modern crime boss x investigator fic and an undercover fake-marriage to lovers plot. who knows where the wind will take me! if you’re interested in any of these and would like to a.) know more b.) listen to weird headcanons or inspiration songs or see moodboards or c.) just wanna say u like it… pls feel free to send an ask. these are my babies i’d love to chat abt em.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[urdearestmom]

i feel like the reason why mike is so hated by the fandom is that the writers ideolize him a lot and then just don't write him to meet those expectations.

like he's supposed to be the heart, the glue, the hero. and then they make him ignore his friends for eight months. like. what the fuck is up with that??? do they expect me to belive that???

like his behaviour could be explained by all the trauma he's gotten that lead to behavioural issues or something but even that wasn't acknowledged or put as a possibility so far.

and apologising wouldnt really do anything because every single one of his apologies lead to little to nothing changing.

and it makes me so mad because like the way his character is portrayed in earlier seasons and what his friends think of him doesn't really align with that yk? and everyone just hates my protegee mike wheeler because the writers did him dirty.

i feel like he's to worried abt el. which makes sense. all the sense in the world and im not saying he shouldn't. but make him worry abt the rest of his friends out loud too??? especially will??? most of his interactions with people who were not el were just sending will deeper into the friendzone and treating him kinda badly after apologising to him for doing exactly that and it's like. no. he wouldnt do that. wtf.

if i can get past everything wrong that happened in vol2 then i like it. i like it a lot. but seriously????

(i am not blaming this on mike, im blaming this on the writers if that wasn't clear)

I really liked vol 2 but I do have some bones to pick and this is one of them!

Mike gets a lot of flack because he's too complicated an individual to be an immediate fan favourite, the way El is for example. Not to say that she isn't also a complex character, because she DEFINITELY is, just in different ways. A lot of his motivations aren't clear (as opposed to El, whose motivations ARE clear and easy to understand. They have to be because the story doesn't move forward without her) and I don't know if that's because the writers are bad at writing him or if it's on purpose and it's Mike himself who doesn't actually even recognize what's going on with him.

I do think this is a symptom of plot-driven storytelling rather than character-driven. There's so much going on in the plot that they don't have the time to get into each character in depth. What ends up happening is that the characters are used to further the plot instead of the plot happening because of character actions. It starts to cheapen some characters and they become flat (a flat character is a character with little to no complex emotions, motivations, or personality. They also don't undergo any kind of change to make them more well-rounded). I think that's what's starting to happen to Mike and it SUCKS because I love him so much he's great!! They just made him so difficult to understand and then he doesn't have enough screentime to fully be developed (again because there is so much going on in the plot that this just isn't possible). And I get it because he's not the main, but in that case could they make the shorter screentime he has more meaningful?

He definitely does have trauma because they all do. There's no way you can come away from all the shit they've been through unscathed! I've said this on this page before, Mike has seen so much shit and literally nobody ever asked him how he felt about it. Tbh he probably wouldn't even answer completely because when does Mike ever talk about his feelings, but still. A LOT of the way he is is completely reasonable for someone his age who's been through the shit he's been through. People are difficult sometimes. He's also been bullied basically his whole life and I'll tell y'all right now that shit takes a toll on you. I'm 22 and I still struggle with certain things because I spent my whole childhood being bullied too. The writers are just choosing not to address any of it when it's not relevant to the plot because- you guessed it- plot-driven storytelling does that. All the other things that need to happen in the limit of 9 episodes make showing each character's struggles impossible, and since Mike isn't central to the plot (like El always is, and like how Max was this season) he doesn't get to have any of his problems really delved into. The only thing that gave a little insight to his psyche was the Lois Lane bit, but I could write a whole other post about that. I probably will at some point 🤷🏻‍♀️

But you're right when you say he was TOO worried about El and nothing else. He absolutely should have been worried about her and it makes total sense that he was because she's his girlfriend and he's in love with her, but there are other people he cares about too. The only time he really showed that was in episode 4 when the agents were explaining what happened and he said, "My family lives in Hawkins!" Nothing after that, about his family or his friends.

I think Mike as a person definitely was thinking about everybody else, they just didn't show it because that wasn't relevant to the point of his character this season. The whole point of Mike's character this time around was literally just to help El fight Vecna and make Will sadder, lmao. I was waiting for that moment where he usually snaps into action and starts leading everybody into battle with some deranged ass plan! Left me disappointed because it didn't really happen. The Cali crew going to Suzie was like a watered down version of that. I loved the Mileven moments season 4 gave us, but it's still a total disservice to him because people are more than their relationships, but there's that plot-driven storytelling again. Mike IS the heart, he IS the glue, you can tell by the small things his friends say about him or the way they react to him. He just doesn't look like it anymore because the writers don't have the time to show it since they're so busy doing everything else.

Another thing is also that the majority of people who watch this show aren't sitting here analyzing everything. Even if you are a fan, you don't typically think super in depth about characters that aren't your fave (I don't anyway. The only characters I really really think about a lot are Mike, El, and Max). What that can lead to is taking characters at face value instead of thinking about what their reasons for doing/saying a certain thing might be. It makes sense why people are annoyed by/dislike him, though, because he does make a ton of mistakes and he never gets a chance to explain himself properly because the writers don’t give him one :/ Everything is nuanced, people aren't black and white. And it's fine really because this is a tv show and these people are fictional but it does say something about how we react to others around us. Cancel culture is an insidious thing and I think that has a little bit to do with why so many people don't like Mike.

As usual y'all this is me rambling completely unedited so forgive me if it's incoherent LMAO

Thanks for this! Mike Wheeler will be my baby forever even if the writers keep doing him dirty 🥰 that's what my fanfictions are for