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#i will work to do better until the day i die or else i am not Jack Goodfellow. and as i AM him... well. my work is cut out for me!
giantkillerjack · 1 year
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Good afternoon! What kind of characters or tropes do you wish you could see more of?? [Ex. More Trans characters; More witches; More himbos]
AND/OR: What kind of characters or tropes would you like to see LESS of? [Ex. Less Trans characters who have to live lives of misery; Less "evil" witches; Less characters played by Mark Wahlberg]
AKA what i need in my life are anti-capitalist trans witches who live lives of joy and community and also some himbos are there! HELL YEAH!!! ....... *ahem*. You don't have to be that specific, but hopefully you get the idea!
#original#writing#character design#the blacksmith#this is not the first time i have asked this and it won't be the last#but i wanna know what would make people feel seen and joyful in a way they rarely get to be#or just tropes that people enjoy#gives me a direction to walk in while i brainstorm characters i will love and others will love#for me i want to see sexy fat characters and characters who find healing and safe homes after trauma and trans characters#but also i wanna see himbos and farces and queer-coded queer villains!#i want transgender witches and autistic knights. and i want to know what people DON'T WANT too#and when i make a character who is in a group i am not in then it matters ENORMOUSLY that i am respectful and educated in doing so#which is my responsibility and i will hold myself to it.#what is the point of making characters like me to make myself feel seen if other characters feel like punches down???#it is a book about kindness and that sounds like something i must take every measure to avoid#i can't please everyone but that isn't the point.#the point is the difference between a fist punching down and a hand reached out to help lift a comrade up.#the point is the kind of person I want to be at the end of the day.#sometimes i may look an ignorant fool but so help me gods i will not stay that way and I will work to do no harm as I learn!#i will work to do better until the day i die or else i am not Jack Goodfellow. and as i AM him... well. my work is cut out for me!#I JUST. CARE. A LOT. ABOUT. KINDNESS AND STORYTELLING. IN THAT ORDER.#AHHHHHHHHHH
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azziesbattybaddie · 2 months
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You are my survival
Azriel x reader
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You and Azriel are mates. Az knows it, you don't, that is until a particularly hard training session when the truth finally come out.
Word count: 5k
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Requested: no
Warnings: fem reader, shadow play, smut, swearing, choking kink, praise, Azriel's wingspan, oral F and M receiving, Az is a Dom, PinV, we die like men
🔥 means smut will follow
Authors note: this is the first WIP I've finished in like 2 or 3 years so be gentle on me I also wrote this with one of my friends on discord and she is absolutely amazing, constructive criticism is welcome and plz let me know if I missed any tags. Enjoy!
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"Pay attention."
His words weren't harsh by any means. No, Azriel would never raise his voice at you, but he'd be lying if he said training you was easy. He watched as you breathed heavily, body glistening with sweat. You'd been at this for hours. Clearly, you'd underestimated just how difficult swordplay was.
"I'm trying my best"
He let out a small chuckle, watching your brows furrow with frustration as he managed to point his sword at your neck, Again.
"Gotcha."
"dammit!"
You threw your sword down in frustration and slinked over to the corner of the ring. Before hugging your knees to your chest and sulking.
"I'm done, I'm quit!"
Sheathing his sword, Azriel approached you slowly, his footsteps silent on the straw-covered floor. He stopped a few feet away, giving you space but close enough to offer comfort.
"Hey, hey now," he murmured softly.
"Don't give up just yet."
He hesitated for a moment before sitting down beside you, keeping a respectful distance.
"Training is hard, y/n. It's supposed to push you, make you stronger. It's okay to feel frustrated, but don't let it consume you."
He glanced at you, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.
"You're doing better than you think. You've improved so much since we started. It's just... progress takes time. And patience." He offered you a small, encouraging smile.
"And maybe some water? You've been at it all day."
"yeah well maybe I should train with someone else because your a thousand times better than me and you have 400 years of experience on me so even if I am getting better your skill just dwarfs mine..."
Azriel looked at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. He had expected such a reaction from you, and he couldn't say that he blamed you either.
"You underestimate yourself," he told you gently, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"It may take time, but you will get there. Just keep practicing and if you can't believe in yourself, believe in the fact that I'm starting to feel your progress in your punches." As always tried to joke with you slightly but seeing as he got nothing but a half earned smile he let himself fall quiet.
He sighed deeply, his gaze drifting down to his scarred hands fiddling with them idly. There were things he wanted to tell you, things he wanted to share about his past, but he knew you weren't ready for them yet. Maybe one day, when you were strong enough, he could tell you everything.
Following his gaze, you watched as he picked at his nails and cuticles. You had known Az for a few hundred years now and as long as you had known him he had never shared the story of his warped skin and you had never worked up the courage to ask, that was until now.
"can I ask you a question without you getting upset? You can tell me to screw off if you don't want to answer, I won't push." You said in a timid, whispered voice. Azriel turned to look at you, his expression curious.
"Of course, y/n. What is it?"
He kept his tone calm and non-threatening, not wanting to scare you off. Whatever it was, he would do his best to answer honestly.
"what happened to your hands?"
Azriel's expression softened, and he looked down at his hands, his fingers curling slightly as he remembered.
"My hands... They were burned by-" he let out a heavy sigh, flexing his hands under your gaze before continuing.
"they were burned by my brothers, many years ago. I was born a bastard like Cassian so I was treated differently, even by my so-called family. They it left me with these scars."
He lifted his hands, showing you the intricate network of burn scars that covered his palms and fingers. They were a constant reminder of his past, a painful chapter he would rather forget.
"what brings that question to mind?"
you reach to grab his hand but hesitated before touching him.
"I just always wondered if they were painful they still look painful..."He noticed your hesitation and gave you a reassuring nod, encouraging you to continue.
"It doesn't hurt anymore, physically at least. But sometimes, the memories can still be quite painful." He lowered his hands, his gaze returning to yours staying quiet for a beat.
"It's alright, y/n. You won't hurt me by touching them. I won't bite or as Cass would say 'i won't bite unless you want me too'" he says with a half honest grin trying to lift the mood slightly.
He held out his hand, palm facing up, waiting for you to make the first move. He wanted to show you that he trusted you, that he was comfortable with you touching him. "Go ahead, y/n."
you gingerly brushed your fingers over his scarred hand before taking one of his hands in both of your running your thumbs over the back before smile and saying softly
"They always looked soft still..."
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he felt his face heat slightly at the praise. He never wanted to feel anything other than your gentle touch on his scarred hand.
"Because of the burns, my skin never calloused so yeah I guess they are."
He turned his hand over, intertwining his fingers with yours. The warmth of your touch seeped into his skin, soothing the old wounds in ways he hadn't experienced in centuries.
"I never associated touch with comfort before. It feels like home." ' you feel like home' is what he would have said if he had the nerve but kept that thought to himself, thinking it to cheesey to say out loud.
His thumb stroked the back of your hand, a tender gesture that spoke volumes about the unspoken bond between you two. In that moment, the weight of his secrets and the darkness of his past seemed to fade away, replaced by a simple, pure connection with you.
you lifted your head to look at him only to find him already looking at you, your faces close enough to feel each others baited breaths.
Azriel's gaze locked onto yours, his heart pounding against his ribcage like a wild drum. The intensity of your stare was almost overwhelming, stirring feelings within him that he thought long buried.
He leaned closer, his lips inches away from yours. He could smell your scent, a mix of sweat and something uniquely you. It was intoxicating, making his pulse race and his resolve weaken.
For a moment, he considered closing the gap, pressing his lips against yours and losing himself in the warmth of your embrace. But he pulled back, breaking eye contact, reminding himself of the danger in such actions.
without thinking of the consequences of your actions you shot your hand out to cradle the side of his face turning him back to look at you and meet him with pleading look, begging him not to turn away.
Azriel's breath caught in his throat as he felt your hand cup his cheek, turning his face back towards you. He met your pleading gaze, his own eyes filled with a mix of longing and fear.
He wanted nothing more than to surrender to the desire burning within him, to lose himself in your embrace and forget about his past, his fears, and his responsibilities. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet, at least.
With a heavy sigh, he gently removed your hand from his face, his fingertips trailing along your skin as he did so.
"y/n, we can't," he whispered, his voice barely audible.
"I care for you too much to risk putting you in danger. We need to focus on our training, on becoming stronger, you need to be ready for when hyburn attacks."
your pout deepened as you moved back slowly pulling your hand away from his reluctantly as you bit your lip trying to think of something to say to make him change his mind.
"Az we can still train and I've been getting stronger for years, why can't we just," you trail off, not knowing that words for the feeling you felt for him.
Azriel's chest tightened at your pout, a pang of guilt slicing through him as he cut you off. He hated seeing you upset, especially over something he had done.
"It's not because I don't want to," he assured you, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.
"It's because I care about you too much. If I give in to these feelings now, it might lead to something neither of us is prepared for, not with so much at stake with war coming."
He paused, his gaze dropping to your lips before lifting back to meet your eyes.
"We're mates. I've known for a while but even though we were designed for each other. And right now with hyburn threatening to breach our borders, our lives and decisions can't be about love or passion-it's about survival"
you pull his face back to you for a last time before running the pads of your thumbs over his cheeks lovingly
"I know that az, but you are my survival. you said it yourself that your my mate, do you really think that I can live without my mate, without you?" You plead tears starting to form in your eyes.
The words hit him like a physical blow, leaving him momentarily speechless. Your admission cut straight to the core of his being, striking a chord within him that resonated with a depth of longing he didn't fully understand.
"You need my love..." he echoed, the words sounding foreign even to his ears. He'd never been loved, let alone needed. The idea was both terrifying and exhilarating.
"I... I don't know if I can give you that. I've never been loved, and I've never loved anyone the way I think I should. you deserve all the love there is in this world, and I don't think I can give you that."
His voice cracked with emotion, betraying the turmoil of feelings welling up inside him.
"you can,"
You step closer still holding his face you pull a hand away to grab his scarred one and place it on your waist and putting your hand on his chest over his heart gingerly.
"You have so much love in your heart that you can't help but let it spill over. You try to act so cold and calloused to everyone but we all feel you how much you love us. "
At your touch, Azriel felt a surge of emotion course through him, his heart pounding wildly against your palm. He stared down at you, his eyes searching yours for any sign of deception or manipulation, but found only sincerity and vulnerability.
"You really believe that, don't you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"That I have love to give?"
He hesitated for a moment, then placed his other hand tentatively on your waist. The warmth of your body seeped into his chilled skin, melting some of the ice that had encased his heart for so long.
"I want to believe it," he admitted, his gaze dropping to your lips once more.
"But I'm afraid of putting you in a dangerous situation that you never need to be in. Afraid of losing control and doing something that could harm you. We both know that my work is extremely dangerous and if you got pulled into that I would never fucking forgive myself"
"Azriel... Your the bravest male I've ever met, please don't stop being brave." You take a final step faces inches apart
Azriel's breath hitched as you closed the remaining distance between you, your bodies nearly touching. He could feel the heat radiating off you, drawing him in like a moth to flame.
"Brave doesn't mean fearless, y/n," he said, his voice low and husky.
"Sometimes bravery means facing your deepest fears, even when every instinct tells you to run." You whisper gingerly brushing you fingers over his leathers laying over his heart.
He reached up, his fingers curling around the nape of your neck as he tilted your head back slightly. His thumb brushed against your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine.
"I'm just scared of failing you, of not being able to protect you. But I'm also scared of missing this chance, of letting my fears hold me back from trying to give us the life the cauldron has laid out for us."
"Then don't let your fears hold you back Az, let me hold them instead." You hold his hand over your cheek and guide his thumb over your lip again gently.
Azriel's resistance crumbled under your gentle guidance, his thumb gliding over your soft, plump lips with a tenderness that surprised even him. He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours as he savored the scent of your skin, the warmth of your breath.
"cauldron..." he murmured, his voice thick with longing.
he closed the final inch of distance, pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that was both tentative and desperate, holding your sides as delicately as fine china.
🔥🔥🔥
you surge you hand up to tangle in his hair and let out an audible cry of relief into his mouth.
Azriel groaned softly into the kiss as your hand tangled in his hair, the sensation sending sparks of pleasure through him. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping across your lips to explore the warm cavern of your mouth.
As he kissed you, Azriel felt a weight lift from his shoulders, a burden he hadn't realized he carried until it was gone. In your embrace, he found a sense of peace, of belonging, that he had never known before.
Breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, panting lightly as he struggled to catch his breath. "Y/n, I've wanted this for so long," he confessed, his voice rough with emotion.
"Wanted to hold you, touch you, taste you now."
"then don't fucking stop now." You practically begged, chasing his lips.
Your impassioned plea sent a jolt of desire through Azriel, his grip on you tightening as he ground his hips against yours, the hard length of his arousal pressing insistently against your belly.
"Oh, god, baby," he gasped, his breath hot against your skin.
"I won't stop, not now, not ever again." His hands trailing down to your ass, gently kneading the flesh under your fighting leathers.
"You're mine, and I'm going to fuck you so hard, make you scream my name until you forget everyone else exists."With that declaration, Azriel swept you up into his arms and winnowed you back to the house of wind before.
carrying you towards his bedroom as he devoured your mouth in a frenzy of kisses, his hands roaming your curves with a hunger that bordered on desperation. your legs wrap around his waist as he carries you and you press your breasts against his chest, mewl desperately against his lips.
The sound of your moans vibrating against his lips was music to Azriel's ears, fueling his already raging desire. He kicked open the door to his bedroom, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity as he laid you down onto the plush mattress.
"Gods, babygirl," he growled, his hands tracing the outline of your curves as he knelt beside you, his eyes devouring every inch of your exposed flesh. "You're so beautiful, so perfect..."
Without another word, he began to undress you, peeling away each layer of your leathers with a reverence that belied his usual cool demeanor. As he revealed your skin to his hungry gaze, he marveled at the sight, at the swell of your breasts, the curve of your hips, the sweet dip of your navel.
"And you smell divine,"
Azriel couldn't help but lean down, his tongue darting out to trace a path along the delicate line of your collarbone, savoring the taste of your skin. He licked and nibbled his way down your body, pausing to lavish attention on each breast, his tongue swirling around your nipples before taking them into his mouth, sucking gently.
His hands weren't idle either, slipping down to cup your ass, squeezing the firm flesh as he continued his descent. His shadows hooked around the sides of your panties, dragging them down your thighs with a teasing slowness that left you squirming beneath him.
"Tell me what you want, baby," he whispered against your skin, his voice a husky murmur.
"What do you crave? Tell me how to make you come undone?"
you reached down to Palm the tent in his fighting leathers at the words and using your other hand to wrap the scared flesh of his hand around your throat.
"I want you to use me, own me Azriel."
At your command, Azriel's heart pounded with a wild rhythm, his cock throbbing in your grasp. He allowed you to control his movements, his hand tightening around your throat in a gesture that was both possessive and protective while one of his larger shadows gently brushed against the side of your face in stark contrast.
"You're mine now, babygirl," he breathed, his voice laced with raw need.
"And I plan to worship every gods-damned inch of you."
With that promise, he slid down further, his lips trailing kisses along your inner thigh, his breath hot against your sensitive flesh. He paused just above where you needed him most, his eyes locking with yours as he teased you mercilessly.
"Do you want more?" he asked, his voice a seductive whisper. "Do you want my mouth on you, tasting you?"
"gods yes please!" You hold his hand tightly around his throat encouraging him to squeeze harder what you arch your back of the bed in hopes of inching your cunt closer to his mouth.
Azriel's grip around your throat tightened slightly at your eager response, his thumb applying just enough pressure to send a thrill of excitement through you. With a low growl, he finally gave in to your pleas, his mouth descending upon your dripping folds.
He lavished your pussy with attention, his tongue delving deep inside you as he fucked you with slow, deliberate strokes while flicks of dark swirl around your clit. He explored every inch of your sex, savoring the taste of your arousal, the feel of your slick walls clenching around his tongue.
As he ate you out, Azriel's free hand roamed your body, palming your breasts, pinching your nipples, leaving trails of fire and cold in its wake. He could feel your climax building, could taste your sweet submission on his tongue, and it only fueled his own desire.
"come on babygirl, ride my face while you come."
He brought one of your hands to tangle in his hair and wrapped his arms around the tops of your thighs encouraging you to buck into his tongue.
Your hips bucked off the bed as you came hard on his tongue, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave, your juices flowing freely as you cried out his name, your fingers tangling in his hair, holding him close.
Azriel drank in your release, his tongue lapping up every drop of your essence as he savored the taste of your pleasure. He held you tight, his mouth never leaving your pussy as you rode out the waves of your orgasm, your cries of ecstasy music to his ears.
Only when you finally went limp did he release you, his face glistening with your arousal. He crawled up your body, his chocolate eyes blazing with a fierce possessiveness as he claimed your mouth in a searing kiss.
"Now it's my turn," he growled against your lips, his hands tearing at his leathers to free his straining cock.
"Get on your knees, baby, I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."
You eagerly roll onto your stomach and push yourself off the bed and onto your knees Infront of him batting your lashes and staring up at him with lust filled eyes.
Azriel watched you move, his heart pounding with a mix of desire and admiration. Your eagerness was intoxicating, fueling his own need even further. He discarded his leathers completely, revealing his veined cock, throbbing with need.
Azriel's breath caught in his throat at the sight of you kneeling before him, your eyes filled with hunger and desire. He ran a hand through your disheveled hair, his fingers tangling in your locks as he guided your head towards his aching cock.
"Open wide, love," *he murmured, his voice thick with need.
"Show me how much you need me."
you took him into your mouth, Azriel let out a low groan, his hips bucking involuntarily. Your warm, wet mouth felt like heaven, and he had to fight the urge to thrust too hard, too fast. Instead, he set a steady pace, his hands guiding your head as you sucked the tip every time he pulled out.
"Fuck, good girl," he gasped, his grip tightening in your hair. "You fucking feel incredible..."You moaned softly as you took him deeper into your mouth working your tongue over his cock, your hands reaching up to cup his balls as you continue to suckle on his cock.
The sensation of your tongue working over his length, coupled with the feeling of your hands on his balls, sent jolts of pleasure coursing through Azriel's body. He watched you, entranced by the sight of your lips stretched around his cock, the sound of your soft moans vibrating against him.
"That's right, baby," he purred, his voice heavy with lust.
"Take all of me... Show me how much you want this..."
He began to move faster, his hips rocking into your mouth, setting a rhythm that had him teetering on the brink of release. His fingers threaded through your hair, urging you on, pushing you to take him even deeper.
"fuck yes! Good girl, just like tha- oh such fucking good girl!"
You moan louder now sending subtle vibrations down his shaft, your cheeks hollowing out as you suck harder on his cock, taking him deeper each time until he hits the back of your throat. You gag softly but quickly recover and continue sucking him off as if your life depends on it.
The feeling of your throat constricting around his cock was almost too much for Azriel to bear. He grunted, his hands gripping your hair tighter as he fucked your mouth with abandon, his hips snapping forward with each thrust.
"Oh gods, baby..." he groaned, his voice ragged with need.
"You're going to make me come so fucking hard..."
His cock throbbed in your mouth, signaling his imminent release. With a final, powerful thrust, he spilled his seed into your willing mouth, his cum coating your tongue and spilling down your chin.
"That's it... Swallow it all..."
Swiping your fingers over your chin you collect the molten cream and swallow every last drop of his cum, your throat working to milk him dry, your eyes locked on his as you gaze up at him with a look of complete satisfaction and devotion.
Azriel watched, transfixed, as your throat bobbed swallowing his cum, your tongue working to milk him dry. He let out a satisfied sigh, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as he admired the look of complete satisfaction on your face.
"You're amazing," he murmured, pulling out of your mouth and offering you a hand up.
"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did."
With a smile, he pulled you into his arms for a deep, passionate kiss, his hands roaming over your body as he savored the taste of you still lingering on his tongue.
You lean into his touch, your body pressed tightly against his as you kiss him back just as passionately, your hands running over his chest, feeling the muscles beneath his skin.
Azriel dominated you mouth with a throaty moan, his hands exploring your curves with a growing urgency. He broke away from the kiss only long enough to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, savoring the taste of your skin.
"I want more," he whispered huskily,
"but I think we should save some energy for later."With that, he lifted you effortlessly, carrying you back to the bed where he laid you down, his eyes darkening with desire as he looked down at you.
You giggle lightly as he lays you back down on the bed, your legs parting slightly as you invite him closer.
Azriel's gaze followed the movement of your legs, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth as he saw the invitation in your eyes. He climbed onto the bed, settling between your thighs, his weight supported on his elbows as he gazed down at you.
"Impatient little thing, aren't you?" he teased, his voice low and playful.
He leaned down, capturing one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened peak before giving it a gentle bite.
"But don't worry, love. I plan to take full advantage of that"
Feeling your hands in his hair, Azriel gave a low chuckle, the vibration of his laughter traveling straight to your breasts. He continued his attentions, alternating between teasing your nipples and tracing patterns across your skin with his tongue.
"Hmm, sounds like someone wants more," he murmured, his voice muffled against your flesh.
Pulling back slightly, he shifted his position, aligning his cock with your slick entrance. Without another word, he pushed inside you, filling you completely with a single, smooth stroke.
You arch your back, pressing your breasts back into his waiting mouth as he teases and bites at your sensitive nipples, a soft moan escaping your lips. Your hands find their way to his hair, tangling in the strands as you pull him closer, desperate for more of his touch.
"Fucking hell, babygirl..." he groaned, his hips beginning to rock slowly as he adjusted to your tight warmth. impatience."
He moved to your other breast, lavishing the same attention upon it, all while grinding his hardening cock against your core. Your back arches off the bed as he fills you, a sharp gasp leaving your lips at the sudden intrusion. But as he begins to move, slow and deliberate, you relax into him, your inner walls clenching around his thickness.
"Ah... yes..." you breathe out, your hands tightening in his hair.
"Just like that... Don't stop..."
Hearing your plea, Azriel picked up the pace, his hips snapping forward with increasing urgency. Each thrust drove him deeper into your welcoming heat, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room.
"Gods, you feel incredible," he growled, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue dueling with yours as he fucked you relentlessly.
His hands roamed your body, squeezing your ass cheeks, tracing the curve of your waist, and finally, cupping your breasts once again, thumbing your nipples into stiff peaks.
You meet his kiss with equal fervor, your tongue dancing with his as you lose yourself in the sensation of being filled so completely. Your legs wrap around his ass, pulling him even deeper within you, urging him on.
"Oh god, Azriel!" you cry out, your walls spasming around him, milking him for all he's worth.
Feeling your orgasm ripple through you, Azriel let out a guttural roar, burying himself as deep as he could go as he found his own release. He came hard, pulsing streams of hot cum inside you, his body shuddering with the force of it.
"baby Fuck, y/n-" he gasped, collapsing forward, catching himself on his elbows to keep from crushing you before pulling out and gently resting himself on top of you, his hips still between your legs and his head resting on your breasts.
He stayed there for a moment, panting, his heart pounding against your chest, before slowly rolling to the side, taking you with him so you were draped across his chest.
"That was... intense," he panted, his fingers trailing lazily up and down your spine.
"Are you okay, baby?"
"Yeah... That was amazing." you murmur, snuggling closer to him, enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking.
As you lay there, spent and satisfied, your the aftershocks of your orgasm. You nod weakly, a contented smile tugging at your lips.
Azriel smiled, his fingers gently stroking through your hair as you nestled against him. He could feel the warmth of your body pressed to his, the steady beat of your heart against his chest.
"I know, baby," he said softly, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.
"And it's only going to get better from here."
His hand trailed lower, his fingers finding your hip, where he gave a gentle squeeze.
"Now rest, we've got plenty of time to explore more later when you can feel your legs again." He taunted with a tired grin.
You sigh contentedly with a fucked out smile on your face, feeling utterly relaxed and loved. You close your eyes, letting the warmth of his body envelope you, and drift off to sleep in his arms.
Watching you drift off to sleep, Azriel couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of the moment. Here, in his embrace, safe and protected, with his beautiful mate, it was everything he could ever want. And now, it seemed, he had it all.
With a final lingering look, he allowed himself to relax fully, his breathing evening out to match yours. As he drifted toward sleep, he knew one thing for certain - this was just the beginning.
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ohisms · 3 months
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↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )
oh , [ name ] . it's just you .
where are you going to run , [ name ] ?
what are you saying ?
why do you think i brought you here ?
you said you believed in my work .
i would kill myself before helping in such a task .
you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .
you can't kill me , [ name ] .
so , you're the great [ name ] .
we all have our little problems .
let's make it your decision , shall we ?
i wish you a week in hell .
why don't you do something about it ?
this is all a test of faith .
i can curse all i want , dammit .
you . turn around .
strangers don't last long here .
the laws of men mean little to me .
i don't need your help .
you stay here . they're trying to kill me .
nice to see you too , [ name ] .
did i do something to you in a past life ?
i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .
your reputation precedes you .
i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .
please , say you will not try again .
do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .
i was unprepared . it won't happen again .
do you understand forgiveness ?
i would rather die than help you .
don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .
may he rest in peace .
how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?
you don't remember , do you ?
what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?
it's no surprise you would know all about me .
we have such history , you and i .
have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?
[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .
what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?
no one knows how to kill [ name ] .
i could have used that information earlier .
would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?
allow me to ... reintroduce myself .
i think we've overstayed our welcome .
don't give me that look .
you were right . i'm sorry .
monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !
look , there's still time .
you were right . i'm sorry .
do you have any family , [ name ] ?
if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .
evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .
now you know why they call me a murderer .
oh my god ... you've been bitten .
so much trouble ... so much trouble .
now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .
don't worry , god will forgive us .
how many commandments can we break in one day ?
oh my god , you should be terrified .
how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?
neither of us has ever settled for half .
you make my skin crawl .
i'm not gonna like this , am i ?
one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .
you have no heartbeat .
you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .
well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .
we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .
you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .
god is not the only one that can create life .
you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !
you're supposed to die .
we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .
you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .
if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .
all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .
some things are better left forgotten .
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heavenbarnes · 5 months
Note
Hello I’m ruminating on olderbf!Simon and how down bad I am for him. I have so many thoughts that do not relate to each other but I would love to just braindump on ya if I may!
-olderbf!Simon and reader obviously into voyeurism/exhibitionism with the other 141 and hearing all of their dirty thoughts, but I get the sense that Simon would NOT like to hear literally anyone else talking that way about his girl. Like if a recruit or lower rank soldier saw reader and said something gross in earshot of Simon we might actually have a murder on our hands. What do you think?
-when/if reader ever gets bratty, how might Simon punish her? Maybe instead of having punishment sex he would actually withhold his dick from her? But then ofc he’s also horny and depraved so it ends up being as much of a punishment for him
-how do you envision them sharing a bed? Are they big spooners or does Simon run so hot that reader can’t handle him being nearby?
Anyway I need to lie down now I’m unwell about him xoxo
read this in the carpark before work and had to ruminate on it all day until now 🫶🏼
there was an internal battle your older bf!simon was facing. there was a part of him, a filthy part of him, that damn near needed everyone to know how good you could be for him.
but there was a bigger part that’d rather die than have anyone think of you like that.
enter 141.
men that simon could literally trust with his life, knew him better than anyone (anyone other than you). he could trust them with his life and he could trust them with a group chat full of your most intimate moments.
however, anyone else tried to even think about you? intimately or not?
there wasn’t a place they could hide.
“jesus, L.T- the fuckin’ sight a’that”
“woah, the things i’d do to-“
one stone faced expression hidden behind a balaclava, another fighting a shit eating grin off his face.
“i’d start runnin’ if i wa’you”
not like they’d ever be able to run fast enough.
and your older bf!simon knows orders better than anyone. lives by them, loves by them.
so when you’ve acted out, he knows that you need an order- need something to get you back to sweet and pliant like he’s used to.
no use fucking it back into you, minute he sinks even the tip in- it’s him going dumb and forgetting what the mission even was.
he has to go to the next extreme.
“no touchin’, sweet’art”
your hands went back under your thighs, back pressed to the arm of the couch as you watched the man in front of you. fucking hell.
simon had one rough hand wrapped around his cock, wrist twisting as he tugged himself off. the sounds of his broken moans, the spit slick of his palm.
pure fucking torture.
“please, si”
that nearly did it, he nearly gave in with one little whimper from you.
“i’ll be good”
simon’s eyes flickered up the length of you, eyes locking with yours. he could see the well of tears on your lower lashes, he could see the way your lip was fixed between your teeth.
“what’ya say then?”
crawling, fucking crawling across the couch to him- you let him feed the tip into your mouth, muffling your words as you spoke.
“m’sorry si”
and when it’s you and your older bf!simon in your bed at the end of a long day, there’s nothing quite like it for him.
he has to be touching you.
up to him? he likes to be spooning you, curve of your back against his chest and your ass nestled nicely against his cock.
where you belong.
but the man’s big and that means that man’s warm so sometimes he has to settle for a hand against your stomach or a leg between yours.
just as long as he’s touching you.
he’s happiest, however, when your head is on his chest and he can see your peaceful little face rise and fall with his breathing. to him, he can almost imagine you exist as one.
when he can hear your little breaths, the tiny (or not so tiny) snores drifting out your lips as he traces the lines of your face with a long finger.
tactile guy is our simon, but only when it comes to you.
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rimunagenius · 4 months
Text
I Could Die For you
ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x reader
ʚ word count: 1.2k
ʚ warnings: RPF!! , fluff, fluff, literal fluff, so much love that it’s sickening
ʚ rimunagenius speaks: to make up for that last post about emily because what the flip!! also the first Kate fic i’ve released that hasn’t been in a series!! yay! also ofc i had to write Kate to one of my favorite love songs!!💕 if you guys do not listen to this song and love it, i’m quitting writing and reporting everyone’s blog…
| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |
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Something inside the cards I know is right
Don't wanna live somebody else's life
Kate was so happy. She knew her life was exactly where she wanted it to be. Cold mornings like this, wrapped in the bed sheets, both your bodies wrapped together to create the most perfect fit to a puzzle.
With your head resting on her body, your nose nuzzling perfectly into her neck, your soft snores and exhales ticking her skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.
The way your hand rested on her chest, and the way Kate's hand rested on your waist from the way she was holding you into her body. She knew she didn't want to be anywhere else but here. Lying here, wide awake admiring you and thanking god or whoever was out there, that she was able to do this, and do it with you.
This is what I want to be
And this is what I give to you because I get it free
"Oh my god, Kate." You stood in shock in your guys' kitchen. You had a rough day at work, letting Kate know that while you sat in your office, counting down the minutes until you could come home. So when you walked through the door and wandered into the living room where Kate was watching the NBA finals, she got up to greet you and took you to the kitchen, giving you the flowers and chocolate she picked up on her way home from practice today. 
You had a new adjustments to make since leaving Iowa. Picking up your life and moving to Las Vegas with Kate when she found out she made the roster officially, after living in a hotel room during training camp. You loved her so much, and you had so much faith in the person she was and the skills she had, you knew moving across states wasn't going to be a regret you had years down the line. 
Tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation radiating from the blonde who stood a few feet away. "Aw, don't cry. Why are you crying, baby?" Kate walked up to you, wrapping her arms around your neck so you buried your face into her chest. 
"Because. You do this for me just for having a bad day. Your days are full of stress with basketball, still proving yourself, and tired from your work. I don't deserve you, Kate." You were a mess. You missed a lot of things. You missed your old friends, how close your guys' family used to be, and you missed Kate while she was gone. You missed a lot of things—you've longed for those things, but you loved your life here with Kate. You two away from what you knew and grew accustomed to, to independently make what you want and need. 
You loved it but you couldn't help but long for what used to be your life sometimes. "You deserve everything. You deserve the world and more because you packed your life up just because you believed in me. This is the very least I could do for you. I will continue to show you how important you are to me and who I am. You make me better so I'm going to show you every day til I can't anymore. I love you. You work hard and you deserve to be appreciated and seen." 
That made the tears fall harder, but you looked up at Kate, and couldn't believe this was your girl. The woman you got to spend and do life with. You kissed her lips chastely, hugging her close again. You two stood there, looking at the pretty flowers and sharing some of your chocolate. 
She smiles while I do my time
It was so early in the morning. Kate waking you up for a travel day for the Aces. It was an away game to Los Angeles and you wanted to make this game so you took the days off. 
You hated getting up early, and the stress that came with traveling was truly not a great time. Kate knew it, but she loved that you were willing to do it for her.  You didn't like most things, but the look on your girlfriend's face when you watched her do the thing she loves most, play the game that gave her many of the amazing opportunities she's had, it was all worth it. 
Kate walked onto to the court, looking at you behind the Aces bench, and smiled. You already smiling right back at her. She knew that no matter how early she woke you up, or how many times she did it, you'd be there, lift her up, and cheer her on. You knew this was where you wanted to be. 
I could die for you
It was the day after Kate had won the WNBA Finals, and you two had been lying in bed since last night. You couldn't believe that she had come so far from the little girl who idolized the Iowa Hawkeyes Women's Basketball team, to a woman who's grown into the most tremendously courageous and strong woman who won her first WNBA Championship. It was so surreal. 
"You know I love you so much, right?" Kate whispered. One arm wrapped around you, pulling you close to her body, while her other hand held your thigh that lay across her hip. 
"I would hope so." You giggled softly, looking up at the blonde above you, your hand went from her chest to the side of her face, resting against her cheek. You looked into her eyes, the blue of them convincing you more by the second that they were better looking than the sky outside. 
"No, I'm serious. You are the love of my life. I would be so lost without you. I don't think I could live without you—let alone do what I've done this past year without you." Her voice wavered, you could tell her emotions still running high after the night she had last night. 
"Kate, my love." You chuckled nervously, the confession making you giddy, but also overwhelmingly more in love with Kate, if that was even possible. It brought tears to your eyes.
"You make me so happy. Just being right here, with you, is more important to me than winning another ring." 
"Oh my god Kate, stop it. You're going to make me cry. I'm so in love with you." You wiped a small tear that fell down your cheek. Kate smiled down at you, willing herself to not close her eyes and just die happy right here with you. 
"I'm so in love with you, I could die." Kate giggled softly, wiping her eyes before leaning down and kissing your lips softly. You smiled into the kiss. You smiled so hard you couldn't even kiss properly. A fit of giggles came from the both of you. 
"Ah! Kate, stop it! Oh my god, Kate!" You screamed and giggled as she left kisses and tickles everywhere she could reach, especially in your most ticklish spots. You two couldn't be anymore happier. Kate wouldn't want to be anywhere else unless you were there, under her arms or wrapped in them. 
Oh, this life I choose.
You two were just simply two girls in love and wouldn't have it any other way. 
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Text
Transferrable Skills Part 1
Transferrable Skills Masterlist
Your therapist warned you about superstitious thinking. You've been working on it. In fact, you've been very good at catching it, challenging yourself to relax, and letting things go. Even before this big work trip, you consciously avoided the "unhelpful" rituals and reminded yourself that the little ones were just to make you feel secure, not to actually influence the future across an ocean.
"I'm very nervous," you had told Señor Snuggly two weeks ago. Your worn out stuffed lizard hadn't said anything back, of course. "That's normal, because it’s an international flight. So I'm going to give you a hug good-bye, and you're gonna stay here to watch the house. I know it's not going to change anything, but I'll feel better knowing you're here."
At the airport, you realized that you had forgotten your toothbrush. It had satisfied the part of your brain that was looking for one (1) thing to go wrong. Superstitious thinking, but the kind that helped you to relax and listen to music until you boarded.
Now, forced to sit on the floor, surrounded by shouting men with guns, your brain is stuck on your lopsided stuffed animal and blue toothbrush. Of all the things that could pop into your head, why those?
You almost let out a nervous giggle at the mental image of Señor Snuggly using your toothbrush as a shiv to save the day. And then the idea of what would happen if you started laughing right now almost startles you into another burst of giggles. You clap your hands over your mouth and curl into yourself a little bit more.
Next to you, your boss throws you a sympathetic look. "You okay?"
"No talking!" The nearest assailant yells in heavily accented English. You're pretty sure the attackers have been speaking Russian, but you could be mistaken. He brandishes his gun. "You want to die?"
"She needs to go to the restroom," your boss answers.
"No, I don't," you protest. You really, really do, and have for the last two hours. But being escorted out of the room alone seems like enough of a Bad Idea that your bladder can wait.
"No, she does not," the man confirms. "Shut up. Do not talk."
You meet your boss's eyes and try to silently convey, Why are you trying to get me killed?
His doughy face says back, I am a white man who goes to the gym once a week, and I really like the John Wick movies. I have delusions of being a hero. If one man takes you to the bathroom I have the mistaken belief that I can overpower two men with guns to save everyone. Also you're a black woman, so don't you have super powers? I believe in you, queen.
You may be projecting.
Ten minutes later, just as you're wondering if you should suggest a group field trip down the hall to the bathrooms, a series of gunshots rings through the building. The energy in the room goes from nervous to frantic in an instant. Your bladder shuts up. The Russian men start shouting and waving their guns, apparently too agitated to speak English. Two hostages start crying because no one else speaks Russian, just English, French and your half-forgotten, informal, Mexican Spanish.
Another three Russians come bursting in the room, snarling something you can’t understand. They grab at a couple of people, force them to stand at gunpoint and gesture to the rest of you. And then everyone is up and kind of moving in the direction of the door. But you can’t get out of the door because they’re blocking it, but they’re really agitated that the room is still full of hostages. And then some people are being pushed back down to the floor. Your boss ends up sitting back down again. A hard hand closes on your arm before you can get down, and you and four others are dragged out.
The leader says, “You all are dignitaries, yes? Your embassies will send money or they will watch you die.”
This is, potentially, the worst possible scenario. None of the five of you are even remotely important, let alone dignitaries. You’re not 100% sure about most of the others, but you’re an aid. An aid to an aid, really. The blonde woman with the remarkably sharp bob is a personal assistant. Today’s conference was about health data management, of all things.
You decide you’re not going to die with a full bladder. You look to the man holding your arm in an iron grip and point to the upcoming door on the right. “Can I please go to the restroom? I’ll be quick.”
He asks the leader something in Russian, and then you’re being shoved through the bathroom door. He doesn’t follow you into the stall, but it’s still so awkward to pee knowing that there’s a man with a gun waiting for you. You’re so glad you aren’t on your period - opening the wrapper on anything right now would feel louder than it has since middle school.
The door to the restroom opens just as the toilet finishes flushing. You hear a scuffle, an aborted shout, and then something heavy hits the floor. You freeze, heart racing. But then there’s no more sound.
You wait for what feels like an hour but must only be a minute before calling, “H-hello?”
You don’t get an answer. Unlocking the door and easing it open, you peek out and stifle a gasp. The man who had escorted you is on the ground, a pool of blood growing around him. His gun is gone.
You’re halfway through washing your hands before you realize you’re on autopilot.
It takes everything in you to fight down the urge to freeze in place and make yourself inch around the body to the door. When you poke your head out, the hall looks so normal that it makes you dizzy for a second. You try to decide what to do through the anxiety fog. You can’t hide in the bathroom with a dead body, and you probably can’t go back to the big room with everyone without getting shot. You have no idea where the other faux-dignitaries were taken. Apparently, there’s at least one person going around killing people in bathrooms.
You try to think of what your therapist would say in this situation. All of the options feel bad, she would say. So you can’t not do anything because it feels bad. Thank the anxiety for trying to keep you safe, then try to pick the least awful course of action.
“Fight, flight, freeze, fawn,” you whisper to yourself. Fighting is right out. “Flight, freeze, fawn.” There’s a body pouring blood right behind you. “Flight, fawn.” No one is around to appease. “Flight.”
Another gunshot and shouting. It sounds like it’s coming from the left, so you head right.
You shuck off your sensible kitten heels and fervently wish your otherwise sensible pantsuit wasn’t pastel purple in this very beige hallway. Not that a thicker-than-European-average black woman mincing around in a Swiss hotel and conference center would be inconspicuous in a black suit, your mind counters itself. You try to force your brain to shut up, with mixed success.
You wander a good five minutes, reminding yourself not to panic at every locked door you try. The halls are so quiet that you half convince yourself that you’ve gotten out of immediate danger. So of course, right as you’re about the round the next corner, one of the Russians appears, reeling backwards. And then he collapses, a knife sticking out of his neck.
You can’t really worry about that, though, because right after him comes one of the largest men you’ve ever seen. He must catch sight of you out of the corner of his eye, because his head snaps to look at you. You barely register the assault rifle in his hands because his eyes bore into you through the top half of a human skull.
Oh, I’m glad I already peed, you think, staring into the eyes of Death.
“Fuckin’ ‘ell,” the man says, growls really. “What are you doing here?”
“I… bathroom? Please don’t kill me. I’ll cooperate.” you squeak out. Oh, fawning! Cool.
“Price, I’ve got one of the hostages,” he says, nonsensically. “I’ve cleared the east wing.”
You jump when his walkie-talkie - of course it’s a walkie-talkie - squawks back an “Affirmative. Status?”
“She’s up and walking,” the man says, not taking his eyes from yours. “Seems uninjured.”
“Stow her somewhere safe.”
“Negative,” Death says. Before you can panic because what the fuck does that mean? he says, “Bringing her back with me.”
“Copy.”
When he takes a step toward you, you stop breathing. Everything in you is screaming RUN and DON’T MOVE at the same time. His second step in your direction results in a full body twitch. You get the impression that the gun is pointed at the ground, but the only thing you can really see is bone white over a black mask and what might be really pretty brown eyes, but the shadow from the overhead light really makes it hard to tell and your vision is going a bit darkaroundtheedgesandohI’mstillnotbreathingthat’snotgreat.
You’re shocked into gasping when a gloved palm touches the side of your face. The rough material helps you settle into your body, just in time to start hyperventilating.
And that’s when things get weird, because Death says, “Easy, lovie. Settle, f’ me, yeah? Deep breaths, like we’ve practiced.”
Your brain latches on to the familiar command to settle before you can even question why it’s familiar. The way the man makes a long, low shushing noise makes you so suddenly weak in the knees that you stagger where you stand.
And then it clicks. Holy shit. You know this voice. You know these commands. You’ve been listening to and learning them at least once a week for the last six months. He doesn’t even sound that different from over the phone or on a video call.
“There you go, that’s good,” Simon, the dominant you’ve been seeing online, tells you through his skull mask. “Keep breathin’. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”
It’s the second time in your life you’ve been surprised out of a panic attack. “W-what the fuck? Si?” you gasp. “What are you doing here? Did you kill that guy?”
“Questions are gonna have to wait,” he says. “Keep breathing. In for four, hold for two. In for two, out for eight. Can you do that?”
“Why are you in Switzerland?”
“Breathe,” he rumbles. “Settle.”
“No,” you hiss, even as your shoulders relax another fraction. The corners of your eyes start prickling with tears.
“This is a double red light situation,” Si says, staring into your eyes. “I know you’re scared, but I’m going to get you out of here. You trust me?”
“You are wearing a skull on your face.”
“And you’re wearing a purple suit,” he answers. “There are people who want to shoot both of us. You get one more outburst, then you’re breathing and following me. Acknowledge.”
What the fuck? “This isn’t a scene!”
His eyes bore into yours. “Might surprise you, but I’m aware. Acknowledge.”
A distant shout makes you flinch. You relent. “Acknowledged. Four in, hold two, two in, out eight. Follow.”
“Good girl,” he says, patting your cheek once. “Stay behind me.”
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sailorholly · 1 year
Text
Stressed
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Summary: Spencer’s been in a bad mood lately, you help him feel better.
Pairing: Season 5 Spencer Reid x F. Reader
Warnings: Smut. Minors DNI. 18+ ONLY.
W/C: 1.4k
See my Masterlist here
“Who drank the last of the coffee and didn’t make another pot?” Spencer propped up on his cane, asked the crowded police station. One of the officers set his mug down beside the case files spread on the table before him.
“I did. I’m sorry, kid. I didn’t know it was a big deal.” Spencer scoffed. “You didn’t think that anyone else would want coffee, when we have barely had three hours of sleep?” The officer looked stunned, obviously caught off guard by the grumpy FBI agent.
“Kid, like I said, I’m sorry.” Spencer limped over to an empty chair, taking a seat. “Don’t call me kid. It’s Dr. Reid to you.” Hotch shot him a warning glance. “Reid.” Spencer dropped his gaze. The officer put his hands up in defeat, muttering under his breath as he walked away.
You wait until the room clears before going over to Spencer. You walk slowly as if you were approaching a wounded animal. “I started a fresh pot just for you. I’ll bring you a cup when it’s finished.” You smile at him, but he doesn’t return it. “Thanks.”
You can tell he’s still upset. He has been moody for a few weeks. Even though you all had agreed not to profile each other, the team had been taking guesses about what was wrong. You still didn’t have an answer. Hotch tried to speak with him privately, but he wouldn’t open up.
At the end of the day, everyone was glad to be back at the hotel. It wasn’t like the comfort of your homes, but at least it was a place to lay your head down. You all had been running on fumes.
You took a shower, thinking of every detail of the abduction. Something didn’t make sense to you, and you couldn’t get your mind off it. You dried your hair, deciding to knock on Spencer’s door to talk through it.
If anyone could help you figure it out, it was him. He answers the door, looking grouchier than before. “I’m trying to sleep. What do you want?” He snaps. You take in his attire. He’s wearing a cardigan over his button up and dress pants, the same outfit he had on earlier.
You frown, pushing your way into his room. “Since when did you start sleeping in your work clothes?” He closes the door, gripping his cane as he walks toward you sitting on his bed. He sits beside you, keeping his distance.
“You’ve been a real asshole lately, Spencer. It’s so unlike you. Is there anything you want to talk about?” He looks away, avoiding your face. “You can tell me anything. I won’t judge you. I’d love to help you, especially if it gets you out of this bad mood.”
You watch as he considers your words. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” He asks quietly. You place a hand on your heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.” The faintest of smiles appears, the first one you’ve seen in a while.
“Now spill.” He sighs. “I am unbelievably stressed. My mom is on a new medication, and she’s giving her doctors a hard time. I got a new neighbor and he plays loud music late at night. I’ve asked him to stop, and he does for a while. Until I go on a case, when I get back, he’s started again. And I’ve been getting these headaches that won’t go away.”
He rubs his left eye, shoulders sinking in relief after he confessed. “Well, all those are valid reasons to be stressed. You really need to get laid.” You giggle, elbowing his side. “I’ve tried.” You stop laughing. You weren’t expecting a sincere answer. You were only joking.
“Wait, you’ve tried to have sex, but can’t find a partner?” You ask, a little surprised. “Yeah, I think it’s my awkwardness paired with the cane. It freaks them out. They probably think I’m an unsub.” He pushes his hair behind his ear.
“I like the cane.” You admit. “Really?” He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah! I think it’s sexy. Don’t take this the wrong way, but couldn’t you just take care of yourself?” You wince. You were having the most awkward conversation of your life with your favorite coworker.
“I tried that. But I couldn’t finish. My mind would race with a million thoughts. It kills the mood.” You lower yourself to the floor, getting on your knees in front of him. “Wha.. what are you doing?” Spencer asks nervously, his voice raising.
“Helping.” You state matter of factly. You unbutton his pants, pulling the zipper down. You’re careful when you tug his pants and underwear down his legs, going slowly so you don’t hurt him. He takes a deep breath when you wrap both hands around his hard cock.
You lower your head toward his lap, taking him between your lips. You suck slowly, waiting for his reaction. He lets out a shaky breath when you take him to the back of your throat. You suck harder now, saliva dripping down your chin.
Spencer watches you intently. He can’t believe this is happening. All the nights he had laid in bed, imagining this exact scenario as he pleasured himself. His biggest fantasy was playing out before him. He grips the white comforter on the bed with one hand, the other holds your head in place as you bob up and down on him.
This was too much. He was going to come, and he hadn’t seen you naked yet. “Come up here, I want to touch you.” He sounds almost like he’s begging. You release him, standing to remove your clothing. “Take everything off.” You command as your panties hit the floor.
He wastes no time, throwing his cardigan and shirt beside your discarded clothes. He didn’t even unbutton his shirt. You didn’t know how he managed to get it off. “Lay back against the pillows.” He scoots until his back hits the cushiony wall. You climb on top of him, legs positioned around his hips.
You start grinding against him. The head of his cock rubbing against your clit. He tilts his head back, greasy curls splayed out on the pillows. You pepper kisses against the sensitive skin of his neck, while large hands cup your breasts.
He tugs at your nipples, rolling them between calloused fingers. You feel your arousal dripping down your thighs. You couldn’t remember a time when you were more turned on. “I want you to sit on my face.” You notice the faint blush rising on his cheeks as he said the words. “You sure?” He nods his head, confirming. “I want to taste you.”
You place your thighs on either side of his head. He kisses your inner thigh, working his way up to where you need him the most. His curious tongue meets your center, collecting your arousal and bringing it to your clit. He moans, the sound vibrating against you. You clamp your legs tighter around his ears, letting him devour you.
His tongue swirls around you expertly. He could be writing in Morse Code for all you know. You reach for the headboard when his lips wrap around your most sensitive spot. The suction and heat of his mouth tip you over the edge. You reluctantly remove yourself from him, still feeling needy.
“I need you inside of me.” You kiss above his belly button and his cock twitches. “I can’t get on top because of my leg.” He points to the offending appendage like you had forgotten about it. You beam at him, as you you straddle him once more. “I got this.” You line yourself up with his hard length, sinking down on him.
He gasps when he fills you all the way. You move yourself on top of him, placing your hands on his shoulders for support. You rock your hips back and forth, letting your head tip back when he brushes your g-spot. You call his name, tilting your hips so he hits it again.
“You like that?” Spencer asks, gripping your hips, working your body with his. You feel the pressure building inside you. It’s unbelievable. You’re lucky if you get off once during sex, and your second orgasm is quickly approaching. Spencer feels you clenching around him.
“Already?” He is in complete awe of you. You were even better than he imagined. “Oh God, Spencer! I’m so close.” His hands hold you harder. He sits up, pressing his chest flush against yours. Your peaked nipples rub against his chest, adding fuel to the flames.
He removes a hand from your waist, bringing it down between you. The pad of his thumb drags across your clit, making you writhe with pleasure. He looks down at where you’re joined, admiring the view. “You’re taking me so well, Angel.” He swirls fast circles against you, and your orgasm rolls over you in waves.
Spencer watches as you come undone. He follows closely behind you, a string of curses leaving his lips. You bury your head in the crook of his neck, breathing heavily. “I need to be in a bad mood more often.” Spencer thinks out loud, his lips curling upward into a smile.
Tagging some people I think would like this.
@cindylynn @potter-puff007 @multifandom-worlds @mochie85 @wheredafandomat @cynbx @lamentis-10 @megharat-barnes @anonymously-ominous @kats72 @vivian-555 @itzdarling @emarich7 @nomajdetective @aelinismyqueen @wildernessflora @academiareid
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melodic-haze · 4 months
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REQUEST: A reader much more powerful than Arlecchino and not doing anything about it.. except in bed.
☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Arlecchino x dom!Reader
☆ — TYPE: NSFW
☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Mention of bloodplay at the very end but like. Very minor. Otherwise there's nothing 🤷‍♀️
☆ — NOTES: I'M NEVER TOUCHING MY DRAFTS WHEN I JUST WOKE UP EVER AGAIN I'M SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this was kinda bad dawg am sorry 😞
☆ — PARTS: Part 1, Part 2 (you are here)
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Tall AND powerful??? Ohhhh she's gonna die you KNOW I had to mix it hahaahahha powertrip goes CRAAAAZYYYYYY I have such a thing for it I'm gonna cry
Anyway ok so I would like to first state that extremely powerful chrs that don't actually do a lot w their power is like one of my top fav tropes it's so fucking funny 😭 like dawg you have the power to change the world wdym you're just gonna sit here like it's summer vacation (there's a reason why my Akivilicarnation au exists (even though I gotta work on it one way or another))
This is rather different from the stuff I usually write bc I usually write the reader as. Kinda weak for the sake of putting us all on a powerscale between the chr and our average strength as a human being omg bare with
Okay so. I do feel like she'd be a tad bit frustrated with you, at least at first. Like you could do so much more than what you're showing and yet here you are, not using your strength for important stuff? Lazy bitch, her children are much better than your example 💀 at least, that's her initial take, really
But give her a demonstration, both in a time of need and yk ☺️☺️☺️, and she'll soften up
Anyways it's just the fact that you're both tall AND powerful??? Nevermind her doing anything, she'll find herself dazedly thinking of the ways in which you can quite possibly manhandle her with such brazen 'disrespect'......and also? In the ways you two can actually COMPETE. Or well, 'compete', esp when she finds herself actually WANTING to lose for once. Crazy, how the great Knave would actually prefer to lose compared to the usual want to win against her opponent
You sighed, "I know we talked about it two days ago but do we have to? Really?"
"I would like to test you. Unless you would rather skip such pleasantries?"
"I don't think fighting until one of us surrenders counts as 'pleasantries'. Quite the opposite, actually."
While you've always known Arlecchino to constantly have a stony expression that doesn't usually change, you see the bright crosses of her eyes dim just a fraction, "So I suppose that's a no, then?"
"Well, now," you stepped back with an amused look on your face, getting into the fighting stance you're familiar with, "I didn't say that... Especially not when the reward is something I really want."
And she gains that glow once again as she brandishes her weapon with a fraction of a smile and.. something else much more heated behind those eyes of hers, "Do not get ahead of yourself, my beloved. The results have yet to be concluded."
..She speaks as if she hadn't actually wanted to lose. Laughable, really.
(You know from the way that at the end of it all, she lies underneath you as her eyes scan you with that same heated look in her eyes—lust, a sin in which The Knave hadn't thought of ever committing.. until you came along.)
The whole thing about her being able to reverse your positions? THROW THAT TO THE FUCKING WIND IN THIS SITUATION you can easily EASILY fold her without a care in the world. The fact that she KNOWS you can too gives her a rush she hasn't ever felt without that extra layer of threatened rage
Push her up against the wall, hold her up in the air, pin her down so she can't squirm away..........if you're much more powerful than her, she actually makes a show of 'trying' to escape you. Keyword: 'trying', especially when at the end of the day she resigned herself to losing already
She tells you not to hold anything back, no matter how cautious you are. She says she can handle it, that she isn't strong without reason, that she can endure whatever you give her, no matter what. Usually she kinda ends up forgetting anything she's said though, especially when you're fucking her SOOO hard she starts seeing stars behind her eyes
If your strength applies to endurance too??? Ohhh bye she's not lasting. Like okay she definitely has stamina and endurance but against you? SHE'S QUITE LITERALLY DWARFED....BYE.........
In some way, she actually likes the fact that you don't show your power other than in private with just the two of you—it makes her feel special, to know exactly what you're capable of. Dare I even say she's a tad bit possessive over every side of you? Who can say 😜
Just think that whenever she kinda stands beside you in public w her heels on, she's very very VERY easily reminded of the fact that you tower over her in height, capability AND position.......and really, in comparison to what everyone else may think? Arlecchino wouldn't have it any other way 🫶
....oh side note, just think about how rough you can go, biting each other to the point where you draw blood. Sorry I had to get that final bit out ANYWAY
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palms-upturned · 2 years
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I’m not gonna jump in ppl’s notes over this bc lord knows I do not want to have a debate about it but seeing someone say “I have qualms about people calling Jean ableist for trying to fire Harry and in the same breath saying Harry is unfit for cop work” is really getting to me. I am practically on my knees begging people to actually engage with what disco elysium has to say about disability and addiction and ableism and policing and social murder because it’s not even subtextual, it’s as blatant and hand holding as it could possibly be. The 41st is an awful environment for Harry not bc him being disabled makes him incapable of doing his job, it’s bc the job is fucking hostile to his existence. Like, no one is “fit” to be a cop because they shouldn’t exist, firstly, and even Harry himself will say as much in the Ruby bad ending. But talking about Harry’s case specifically, we know that this job is part of what landed him where he is to begin with.
From the start of day 2:
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — You mean why are you so tired? Too tired and *down* to even think? It *is* worrying, isn't it. You can't be a detective like this -- detectives need to be able to think.
YOU — Why is this happening?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — It's just that your heart has finally pumped all the *speed* out of your system, buster. Time to get some more.
YOU — Wait. What *is*... speed?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Speed is a potent central nervous system stimulant. It kept you propped up all day yesterday despite your debilitating hangover. How else did you think you even got up from this floor?
VOLITION — You got up from this floor because of a holy vow you made sixteen years ago. With *me*. To wake up exactly 07:30 every morning until the day you die.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Don't be silly. There was no vow. You were high on speed. That was the only reason you got up. You can't *detect* without it, it's that simple.
YOU — No. I can take this. I am not going to go looking for speed.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Are you sure? Ready to live as this pathetic shell of yourself for days? Basically a week? Let's be honest -- two weeks, maybe three? You won't make it. Half the town will be dead by then. You will be fired.
YOU — That's a lie. I can do this without the speed. Half the town won't be dead... (Opt out.)
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Suit yourself, slow, sad shell-man. See how you do without your spark.
And from this talk with Kim in Klaasje’s room:
KIM KITSURAGI — "Amphetamine -- does it make you a better detective?"
SUGGESTION — Be honest. He's not grilling you, he just wants to know. Ask if he's ever wanted to take it too.
YOU — "Honestly, it makes me the detective I am. Have you thought of taking it too?"
KIM KITSURAGI — "Maybe I should?" He lets out a little pensive hum, rubbing his shoulder...
DRAMA — It's not insincere. He's actually giving it thought.
KIM KITSURAGI — "Doesn't the... pupils and the gurning jaw, the sweating... doesn't it become tiring after a while?"
YOU — "I understand it's unbecoming but if I don't perform this job well I am nothing. It's the price I pay."
Harry knows that the cost of getting sober would be that the precinct would let him go. They’re not going to have the patience to deal with him slowing down from the combo of withdrawal and no speed to “keep him propped up.” Not when the reason that he’s stayed on the force this long and risen in the ranks is most likely because he manages such a massive caseload, as we find out from Kim:
YOU — "Is two cases a week a good case load, lieutenant?"
KIM KITSURAGI — "Huh?" He raises his nose from his notes. "Two *complex* cases to undertake is a lot, yes. You *really* have to push yourself. I would not suggest it. Lest you start making mistakes."
YOU — "Two cases a week appears to have been my load, lieutenant. I'm not sure I completed them though."
KIM KITSURAGI — "Two?" He raises both eyebrows. "That's a lot. I didn't mean to say you're making mistakes, by the way. That was presumptuous of me."
And later:
KIM KITSURAGI — "This next row -- the one that wraps all the way around -- is your number of closed cases. *Closed* is good. It means finished. You've got, let's see..."
KIM KITSURAGI — "Wow, more than 200!"
YOU — "Is that a lot?"
KIM KITSURAGI — "It's *quite* a lot, even for someone who's been on the force for nearly two decades. Usually clearing more than 10 cases a year puts you in the 90th percentile of *all* RCM officers..."
Despite the trouble Harry makes, he’s considered an asset so long as he closes cases. To the point where he wasn’t punished for drunkenly beating Burke unconscious and then injuring his knee so badly that he can’t walk anymore just because this allowed them to close the “unsolvable case” of Leslie and Burke. 41 and the RCM as an institution don’t care about Harry’s or anyone else’s wellbeing, they care about whether the pros of having him around outweigh the cons.
From the lazareth call with Gottlieb:
YOU — "Isn't there *anything* you can do for me?"
NIX GOTTLIEB — "What, you want me to do blood work for you again, tell you just how bad things really are *across the board*? You want another rundown of everything collapsing inside your body?"
YOU — "Yes. I want the truth!"
NIX GOTTLIEB — "You want the real, honest-to-god truth? Stop drinking, eat magnesium and vitamin D. Our station is not a retirement home. We don't have the funds to deal with *rock stars* past their prime."
RHETORIC — So it's political! You're being *neglected* because of political reasons...
NIX GOTTLIEB — "And no, I *don't* want to hear a *political commentary* on the topic. In fact -- I've got work to do."
If I were to quote every time Gottlieb was notably uncaring or said something blasé about how you probably didn’t have long to live, I’d have to quote pretty much every word of that dialogue. That’s the whole joke with Gottlieb. That’s just how it is dealing with doctors when you’re in Harry’s position.
From talking to Kim about Uuno:
KIM KITSURAGI — "We could take him to Remedie or Saint Batiste, but he doesn't have money for medical services. The Almshouse would turn him down..."
KIM KITSURAGI — "They don't do charity for people who're trying to kill themselves. Besides, he'll be dead in a few..." The lieutenant stops, listening to him.
RHETORIC — ... years? Months? Weeks?
“They don’t do charity work for people who’re trying to kill themselves” really sums up the absurdity of Harry’s situation and institutional responses to it. Harry isn’t seen as the kind of person in crisis who deserves intervention. He’s treated as a lost cause who deserves to suffer the consequences of his self harm, even though the unending crisis and the lack of response to it is what drives him to harm himself and hope that he “gets worse.” If he weren’t a cop, it’s unlikely that Kim would care about him any more than he cares about Uuno and Cuno’s situation. Harry’s job is killing him, but it’s also the only thing that gives him access to anything resembling a community or support network (at least at the start of the game). Again, that’s just the way it goes when you’re disabled.
From the second tribunal:
TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Well -- here is my theory: What if this is an absolutely normal reaction to the world we're living in? What if this is *not* a significant anomaly at all, something to be explained, approached as a defect? Look at the sensory input here..." He gestures toward the scenery.
TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Look at the ruins, the neon, listen to the radio, the multitudes. The people. Live here for forty years... As a police detective, he's like a magnetic reader on the world-tape -- to borrow a known metaphor. Harry's been pushed *flat against it*. Total input."
TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "Hard-wired to the free market..." He nods confidently. "He just needed for it to end."
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, Trant, thank you. That's... absolutely meaningless. I'm glad we brought you. Will he or will he not be able to work in the Major Crimes Unit? Is he a cretin now? I want to know *that*."
TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "He is *not* a cretin. And he *is* able to do work -- if not in his previous leadership role, then as a line detective."
YOU — "Line detective is good for now."
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "For *now*?" He looks at you, then at Trant. "I misphrased my question. It should have been: Is he able to put his clothes on, and use the potty, or do we need to get him on a disability pension?"
Or, alternatively:
YOU — "He's wrong. I'm too far gone for work."
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Agreed, Harry." He nods. "Just don't expect us to get you a disability pension. Cops who actually gave a shit are waiting in line. You're not gonna hog their seat."
Trant, who, notably, is technically a civilian consultant rather than a cop, (edit: and maybe even more notably, as someone pointed out in the tags, has had experience with addiction, too) suggests to Jean that Harry’s breakdown is a basically inevitable result of his circumstances and the systems that created them, and Jean’s response is that he doesn’t care and all that he wants to know is whether or not Harry can work or if he’s going to be “hogging” resources from other people who are more deserving of help because they “actually gave a shit.” He’s a mouthpiece here for the institutions that he represents and his ableism is blatant and heinous to drive the point home. He denies that Harry’s case is as serious as it is and accuses Harry of faking it, despite the fact that it’s happened (at least) twice before, and very recently:
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "I believe you *drank*. People do that -- you especially. What they don't do is forget their *whole life* because of drinking."
JUDIT MINOT — "But, Detective Vicquemare," she interjects. "He *has* blanked out before."
YOU — "I have?"
JUDIT MINOT — "Yes, a couple of times. After some of the more... serious benders." She pauses, remembering. "One was after the Two Drunks case, the other when we looked into that mural."
REACTION SPEED — The two cases... in your ledger. The Unsolvable Case and the Next World Mural. Those were recent.
And despite the fact that even Gottlieb doesn’t seem shocked about it:
YOU — "I've lost my memory. All of it."
NIX GOTTLIEB — "With all the damage you've been dealing yourself with drugs and alcohol, I'm not surprised."
AUTHORITY — There is no surprise in his voice. Only careless superiority.
DRAMA — It's hard to say if he doesn't believe you -- or doesn't care.
(Considering that Gottlieb’s PSY stat is so high (he’s even eating one of the PSY boosting candies during the call), along with his uncaring responses to all your other problems, it’s more likely the latter.)
Jean also won’t believe that you’re sober even if you haven’t touched so much as a cigarette for your entire playthrough, and even when Judit points out that he’s wrong, he’ll double down and say that it doesn’t matter because you’re going to relapse:
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Even the insect -- I don't care. But you're an *alcoholic*. And you've been drinking -- again. I won't let my life unravel because of this."
JUDIT MINOT — "Jean -- I think he hasn't. I can see it on his face..."
ENDURANCE — The bloating *has* gone down since you woke up that morning...
JEAN VICQUEMARE — "Okay, so he's stayed clear for what? A week?" He sighs.
TRANT HEIDELSTAM — "It's tough. One of the toughest addictions to overcome. Comparable *only* to heavy synthetic opiates. Even morphine is easier to kick than alcohol -- statistically. The odds are against him. Especially at his age."
JEAN VICQUEMARE — He nods. "He's too old. He's been like this for too long. I've seen him try many times. It's a farce by now."
SUGGESTION — They're leaving. They're all turning away from you.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — No. You can figure it out. *Replace* it! Replace the alcohol with amphetamine. Or GBL! Fuck it -- morphine! Graffito removal agent! Anything. It'll buy you time. All you need is time.
Electrochemistry brings up yet another facet of Harry’s struggles with substances, which is the idea that some of them may be replacements for alcohol. He doesn’t have time or space to try to quit in any way that is remotely healthy. What he has are substances like speed that keep him from collapsing from the strain of it all so that he can keep showing up to work, and other substances that might (he hopes) help him wean himself off the alcohol.
The game explores all of these different factors of Harry’s struggles with addiction and the circumstances that keep him trapped in them exhaustively (and the fact that Robert Kurvitz apparently was recovering from alcoholism during the development probably contributed a lot to that). The structure and culture of the RCM are hugely responsible for Harry’s situation. He’s mocked and berated for being an alcoholic and told repeatedly to get his shit together without actually providing him with the means to do that. Instead, he’s not only enabled but practically forced to keep using just so that he can show up to work at all and not risk losing the only support network he has (even if it’s the shittiest and most unhelpful network imaginable). As Luiga (iirc) said, Harry’s biggest tragedy is that he’s incapable of quitting the force. Many of the reasons for that are genuinely just due to Harry being a class traitor and an asshole, but it’s also true that even if he did want to quit, there is no safety net to catch him.
And then Harry comes to Martinaise, a town that has been “orphaned” by the RCM and neglected by Revachol at large, left mostly to their own devices. It’s not like policing doesn’t still exist in Martinaise, and things are pretty dire for everyone in the community, but at the very least you can see that it is a community. Isobel houses you for free. In Kim’s absence (and after Gottlieb stitches and ditches you), Cuno and Garte take care of you when you’re shot. Acele responds to your breakdown on the ice by saying it’s okay to cry and that you can talk with her about it when you’re ready. Idiot Doom Spiral and co run to your aid when they see you drive your car into the sea and invite you to come drink with them just to stop you from doing it again. Harry discovers that life, while very painful and bleak at times, isn’t necessarily hopeless for the marginalized. You can still find solidarity and support outside of the system.
Meanwhile, if Harry in the end has no one to vouch for him and hasn’t stayed sober, that system will abandon him, a well-known suicide risk with at least one bullet hole in him and severe amnesia, with the promise of nothing but getting served a station call slip. The point is not whether or not Harry “deserves” to be forgiven or even whether he’s a danger to himself and others (to be clear, he is). The point is that this is a system that doesn’t care whether Harry and people like him live or die. That is why, even in a “good” ending where Harry is welcomed back to the 41st, the work won’t be sustainable. It’s going to kill him because that’s what it’s designed to do. The miracle of Martinaise was the realization that he doesn’t have to die. There are people who will help to keep him on this earth. They’re just not members of the fucking RCM.
It’s not a “gotcha” to say that if Jean (and the RCM, and the institutions of Revachol on the whole) is ableist for wanting Harry fired, then saying that cop work is unsustainable for Harry is also ableist. I won’t even say what I personally think of that logic because I’m trying to keep the tone of this post polite. Jean’s dialogue during the tribunal is meant to parrot every bit of ableist rhetoric that the system is built on and that keeps Harry trapped in this hellish feedback loop. He’s a mouthpiece for the general culture of the RCM, just like Gottlieb is a mouthpiece for the shit that addicts and the disabled have to deal with from the medical system. He thinks Harry should be fired because he’s a drunk and therefor a lost cause. The truth is that Harry needs to quit this job because it shouldn’t exist and because it is actively killing him.
In one of Martin Luiga’s articles about the process of creating the game, he brings up the concept of social murder, which is a term coined by Engels:
When one individual inflicts bodily injury upon another such that death results, we call the deed manslaughter; when the assailant knew in advance that the injury would be fatal, we call his deed murder. But when society places hundreds of proletarians in such a position that they inevitably meet a too early and an unnatural death, one which is quite as much a death by violence as that by the sword or bullet; when it deprives thousands of the necessaries of life, places them under conditions in which they cannot live – forces them, through the strong arm of the law, to remain in such conditions until that death ensues which is the inevitable consequence – knows that these thousands of victims must perish, and yet permits these conditions to remain, its deed is murder just as surely as the deed of the single individual; disguised, malicious murder, murder against which none can defend himself, which does not seem what it is, because no man sees the murderer, because the death of the victim seems a natural one, since the offence is more one of omission than of commission. But murder it remains.
None of this is subtext. And all of it is intended to make players actually spare a thought for what it’s like for people in Harry’s situation in real life. For God’s sake, please engage with it. You have to try and understand what it means to be trapped in a life that is made unlivable and to know that your death will be ungrievable. That’s what this whole game is about.
Edit: I’ve seen some ppl say in the tags something like “yeah, I like to imagine a happy ending for Harry, but…” and listen. I am laying a very gentle hand on your shoulders. The point of this post was never to say that there’s no happy ending for Harry. The point is that the first step toward that ending is conceptualizing a life outside of the RCM. In Martinaise, he got a glimpse of what that might look like. Hell, in the bad ending, you can even say to Jean, “fine then. I’ll just live here.” There’s hope for him and for us. I promise.
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starlightazriel · 3 months
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bad boy az part 5
warnings: 18+ , 16/18 age gap, angst, death, overdose, heartbreak, self loathing/sabotage, childhood trauma/abuse, drug addiction/abuse, dark rough az, degradation, smut
masterlist
wc: 4.4k
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Visiting my grandparents with a broken heart was like torture. Forced smiles and laughs at dinner, which they insisted had to be an outing every single night, since it wasnt often that we came to visit. Christmas dinner had been the only exception. I checked my cellphone relentlessly but there was absolutely no sign of him, not on social media, no texts... No calls... As if none of it had ever even happened, my only reminder that it was all in fact very real were the text conversations which I was now re reading over and over.
There was one particular day that I had been sick, and he sent me a photo of himself a bored solemn expression on his face, I had saved that one, not even believing how incredibly sexy he was. That someone that sexy was even talking to me, let alone fucking me.
you could have told me you were ditching today butterfingers. horrible without you.
im sick, im not ditching. it can't be that bad, you haven't even spoke to me at school all week azriel
i know im not good at saying how i feel but everything is better with you
I remembered the way my heart had nearly jumped out of my chest reading that. How could he say things like that but not want anything to do with a relationship with me? How could we have sex like that and him not feel anything for me?
Maybe it wasn't that, maybe he was just afraid of what he felt. I knew that he had been different around me, I knew that I had gotten a version of him that no one else did. Maybe he had just created that for me, maybe he just really needed help with his classes.
It didnt matter the reason. He was gone anyway, he had offered to be friends but ignored me, granted I had only sent one text, using every ounce of self control that I had not to call him our keep texting him until he gave me something, even if it was just to let me know that he was okay.
-
Azriel was out of his mind. He was spiraling. Nothing helped, nothing worked to get her out of his head. Sure, he could dull his senses enough not to feel anything, but whenever the substance of choice wore off it was always just her there. Her crying and puffy face, her eyes that showed him pure heartbreak, her first heart break, and he knew all too well how that felt.
Though for him it hadn't been a girl, it had been his mom, leaving him alone with his monster of a father. Saving herself but not taking him with her, for all she knew she could have been leaving her little boy to die. He remembered how his first heart break had felt like darkness consuming him, like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs, like no matter how hard he tried to swim up there was something holding him under water. And he did that to y/n. It was haunting almost every one of his thoughts, it made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. And there was the fact that he missed her, more than anything or anyone that he had ever missed, more than he had missed his mother even in those first few years after she left.
The first night, he had gone to a rave with Rhys and Cass. They raved until 4 am, rolling on Molly, a sea of bodies and heat. He had fucked someone that night, figuring that if anything got his mind off of her it would be some new pussy. Of course that hadn't worked, and really it only made things worse since he had woken up to a text from her. im sorry for anything i said when i was drunk. maybe we can talk when i get back. He hadn't responded, feeling too guilty that he had fucked someone the very night after he broke her heart. While she had been thinking about him, thinking that she had done something wrong, he had been high out of his mind fucking some random in a dirty bathroom. But this was the very reason that he knew breaking it off was the right choice in the first place. He was and always would be a shit bag.
He had been at Rhys and Cass' place every day, they knew something was wrong with him but they didnt pry. They let him cope how he always did, skated with him at the indoor skate park til they were all battered and sore, drunk with him, partied with him, got stoned and high with him.
"You sure you don't want to talk about it? You've been dipping into your stash a lot, starting to get a little concerning," Rhys raises a brow, scaling out some weed into eighth bags. He hadn't realized how quiet he had been. He also hadn't necessarily realized that they'd noticed he was dabbling in substance just a little bit more than usual.
"Yeah, no Im good," he shrugs, rising to his feet, dusting off ashes that had collected on his clothing from smoking. "I should go," he bid them both goodbye before exiting the apartment.
He didnt miss the look of concern they exchanged between each other.
-
Azriel stood in the door way to his living room, almost frozen in shock. The tv was distant background noise even though the volume was almost all the way up. If he didnt know any better he thought the days of rolling were getting to his head and that he was hallucinating it.
His father was face down in vomit and broken glass, he must have fallen into the coffee table and shattered it when he passed out. He didnt have to check, the silence, the white noise buzzing in his ears to the point he almost couldn't hear anything else at all told him that his father was dead. He had probably been dead for hours based on the dryness at the edges of the pool of vomit underneath him.
He didnt feel an ounce of sadness, he didnt know how to feel really, right now, he thought it had to be pure shock. Azriel reached down and picked up a cigarette from a pack that head been on the floor, he lit it, staring down at his fathers body, thinking about every horrible thing he had put him through. The scene before him reminded him about a night when he was fourteen years old, he had stolen his dad's bottle of Jameson and drank the entire thing out of boredom. Rhys and Cass had been away that summer, so he remembered how horribly bored and how much trouble he had gotten into that year. He remembered being so sick never having drank that much before, he remembered throwing up on his hands and knees, his dad kicking him down into his own pile of vomit beneath him. He had watched him struggle to get up, time and time again, he would just laugh kick him down again until Azriel was so weak and dehydrated and physically exhausted, with nothing left in his system to vomit he had just dry heaved, laying there in his own throw up. "Lay there and think about what you did," his dad had growled while tying a thin piece of plastic around his upper arm in preparation to shoot up.
"Goodnight dad," Azriel smirked, letting out a small chuckle at the irony of the situation. He threw the cigarette butt into the center of the pool of vomit, watching it sizzle out. "Lay there and think about what you did," he says and turns before retreating upstairs to his room. His fathers body would be a tomorrow issue.
-
Before the police had come, Azriel gathered every bit of paraphanelia and all of his drug money that was hidden under the floor boards and stuffed everything into a bag that went into his trunk. He knew he wasnt a suspect or anything, the town cops were well acquainted with his father and it was an easy open and shut overdose case. Still, he didnt want to risk getting bagged for something else when they were collecting evidence.
Azriel sat on the porch now, smoking a cigarette while he watched the paramedics haul his dad's black plastic wrapped body into the ambulance to be taken to the morgue, a bored expression on his face. He felt more empty than he had in a long time, he didnt know if it was the fact that he had been doing ecstasy for almost the entire week, the fact that he had found his father dead and overdosed the night before, or if it was the fact that he couldn't just pick up his phone and call y/n anymore.
He had been asked to do a news piece. Of course they were covering his deadbeat, nothing father's death on the local news. In a small town like this they had to cover everything for there to be anything to talk about. He had obviously declined, though he knew they would still use his fathers name, probably show his house... "Chief, I gotta get outta here," Azriel had tossed the cigarette off of his porch and was standing now, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie.
"Youre good Azriel, just leave the door open for evidence and the hazmat team," the place chief nods and Azriel retreats to his room, packing his things to stay at Rhys and Cass' place for a few nights. Death was like a blanket that now covered his entire house, and he couldn't handle it.
-
Returning to school was just as miserable as being at my grandparents house. There was a buzz in the air about something, I didnt bother to try and figure out what it was. Nothing besides grades and Azriel really mattered anymore, even though the latter was only an empty hole in my chest at this point. I didnt expect to see him at school, I knew he would probably skip the first few days, and even if he didnt I knew I was the last person he wanted to see.
"Y/n," Maggie says a little breathlessly, jogging up to my locker at the end of the day. "Ive literally been looking for you all day, did you hear about Azriel?" she asks, my head snaps to the side, my eyes landing on hers. She knew about everything that happened with Azriel and her stance was that all boys are the same and he was just afraid to commit. No matter how many times I tried to tell her that Azriel wasn't like anyone else, she didn't listen.
"What happened?" I asked quickly, immediately assuming the worst, jail, car accident. I should have paid more attention to the gossip earlier.
"He found his dad... Like dead, in his house, drug overdose, you didnt hear?" she says, her brows furrowing slightly. "Literally like two or three days ago. It's so fucked, have you talked to him?" she asks, I just blink a few times, staring back at her. The thought of Azriel finding his dad like that made my gut twist, I wanted to cry.
"Um, no," I said quietly, hugging my text book to my chest. "He's still not speaking to me," I tack on quietly, now feeling guilty for not trying to reach out again. "I gotta go Maggie, thanks for letting me know," I close my locker, turning toward the door.
"Are you okay?" she asks, I could feel her watching after me, I turn my head back to give her a reassuring nod.
"I'm fine."
-
I knocked on Azriels door after school every day for three days straight. He didnt come to school, he didnt call, he didnt text, despite the number of texts I had now sent him. It was a new day now, Thursday and still he wasnt at school, so I took the familiar route to his house and knocked on his door three times. My heart leapt when the door swung open only a few moments later, my lips parted in surprise when it wasnt Azriel there, but a woman.
"Can I help you sweetie?" She was middle aged, wrinkles forming around her eyes and corners of her mouth. Tan skin and black hair like Azriels, and that wasnt the only thing they shared. She had Azriels eyes. Those beautiful, pooling, mysterious hazel eyes.
His mother?
"I-" I stuttered softly, staring up at her. "I was just looking for Azriel," I finally manage to get out.
"Well that makes two of us," she says and clicks her tongue. "Ive contacted the school, and he hasn't been there, police say I can't file a missing persons yet because he's eighteen-" she rambled before stopping herself. "Come in, it's freezing," she adds but I shake my head.
"Oh, no that's okay thank you. Ive got to get home," I swallow hard, turning away from her, I hear her bidding me goodbye and I only wave in response, not turning back around.
-
Azriels brows furrow in confusion at the silver, new looking car in his drive way when he returns later that night to grab fresh clothes and take a good shower. He planned to stay home that night, needing a bed instead of a couch, his back was aching. Not that he had been sleeping much, he was doing too much molly, he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep since the last night he had slept with y/n which had been weeks ago now, since he stupidly hadnt taken his chance to sleep next to her one last time after she declared her love. He had been too afraid.
He was sure though, that she didn't really love him, she loved the way that he fucked her, the way he ate her pussy, maybe even the way he looked. But he wasn't lovable, someone like her couldn't just love someone like him.
He pushes the door to his house open and cautiously walks in, stopping in his tracks when he sees his mother sitting at the counter. He turns around, looks back again, rubs his eyes once. Surely this was a hallucination. She was quiet, surveying him, after eleven years he had changed a lot, he wasn't the little boy that she had left. He was tall now, built, covered in tattoos.
"What are you doing here? What do you want? Cuz' there's sure as fuck no inheritance or will if that's what you're after," he practically spits, coldly, as he surveyed her as well. This was real, it was very real. He noted the wedding bands on her finger, and nearly laughed out loud. She winces at his tone and aggression, rising to her feet as she continues to stare at her son that she hadn't seen in so long.
"Ive been waiting for you all day. I came to see if you needed any help with the funeral or if you wanted to come stay with me and your sisters-"
"Just stop there, because they are not my sisters. You are not my family. I don't want to see you, I don't want you here," eleven years of anger was coursing through him. How dare she come here. How dare she show her face here like everything was just normal. Guilt flashes across her face and her throat bobs as she clutches her bag in her hand.
"I am sorry Azriel. I was young... I made a mistake-"
"It's too late for any of that. Im grown now," he scoffs, watching as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. He didnt feel the least bit guilty, he hoped that she suffered from her choices. "You left me here to die, you only cared about yourself. You promised a seven year old boy that you would come back for him and you never did. Do you know how many times he almost killed me?" the words were flowing from him and he wasnt sure if it was the lack of serotonin from too much x or if it was simply all the pent up anger and aggression that he had. She just stood in stunned silence, silent tears running down her face. "You come back now? Like that makes anything better? Thinking what? That I would run into your arms and away into the sunset with you and your new family?" He walked to the door, opening it for her and jerking his head toward it. "I don't know why you would come here, you're sick for even thinking that it was a good idea. And Im sick looking at you, get the fuck out of my house," he growls quietly, and she stares back at him opening her mouth to say something else but realizes there was nothing she could say that would ever make him forgive her.
He slammed the door shut behind him, his lungs felt like they were caving, his chest physically ached from the emotional turmoil. Seeing his mother was far more painful than his dads dead body days ago. He noticed though, that with the pain, there was some sort of closure he felt from screaming all those things at her.
He knew that he should go back to Rhys and Cass' place, he knew he shouldn't stay here, especially after that. He shouldn't be alone right now, but being alone was what he did best. It was easier than anything else.
-
The next day after school, I had been much more hesitant when I walked toward Azriels door. I noted his car in front though, which made my heart leap, my stomach churned with nerves.
Something had unsettled me about Azriels mother being there. Something felt wrong about seeing her there yesterday. There wasnt exactly much I knew about Azriels childhood. I knew it was abusive, I knew she left, I knew that he didnt deserve any of what he went through. I knew it tortured him more deeply than he let on, no one in the world was that strong. I hoped she wasnt there again today. I needed to talk to him, I needed to get him to myself, there was so much I wanted to say to him, though, I didnt know if I would really have the courage once we were face to face.
I knocked three times, just like I had yesterday, I waited a few minutes, knocked two more times. "Im fuckin coming, damn," his voice sends my heart soaring and my gut reeling. He swings open the door, and my eyes instantly meet his, he's surprised, I can tell that much. But his eyes are distant, besides the slight surprise he's not wearing any emotion besides maybe exhaustion, his normally tan skin is slightly pale, dark circles ringing the bottom of his eyes. "Y/n, I didnt realize it was you. Im- Im sorry," I wonder if he's as much at a loss for words as I am.
Worry gnawed at me as I stared up at him. I couldn't see any light there, he didnt look okay. He clears his throat expectantly and I realize that I haven't said a single word. "Im sorry you found your dad," I blurt out before swallowing the lump that was growing in my throat. I didnt exactly think that Im sorry for your loss was the right thing to say in this scenario, I knew Azriel better than that. I had seen the hatred burn behind his eyes when talking about his father.
Azriel softens only the tiniest bit, he lets out a small sigh, "did you want to come in?" He asks, stepping aside so that I could walk in. I found myself wondering where Azriel had found him, less than a week ago someone died in here. I tried not to think about it too much. "Sorry about the mess," he mutters, shutting the door before nodding toward the stairs, I walk the familiar path toward his room and the sight of his room makes my stomach turn as I recalled how clean it had been the first time I saw it.
Definitely not okay. There were clothes everywhere, random pills on random surfaces, some crushed up and some still whole, if it hadn't of been for the few random pizza boxes I would have thought he wasnt eating at all, there were empty liquor bottles, some paperwork strewn about that probably had to do with the funeral... It was bad, I felt sick. I swallowed a lump in my throat and turned, he seemed so distant, so unfazed. Was he on something?
"Azriel..." I whispered, he stared back at me, reading my expression before shaking his head.
"Don't say anything butterfingers," I take a step toward him, he visibly tenses which makes me hesitate. I just wanted to run to him. I wanted to take all of his pain away, I almost didnt even recognize myself anymore... When had I even started caring about things other than school? Of course I was still at the very top of my class, but I was so damn distracted these days... His eyes drift to my lips and my cheeks flush slightly, I was so damn nervous, the last time I saw him he had ripped my heart out of my chest. "Come here," his voice is husky, almost a whisper, his eyes are still jaded and dark. It almost scares me, the way he's looking at me. I advance slowly toward him my fingers shaking, breaths ragged.
"You want me to fuck you don't you?" he turns his chin up, looking down his nose at me, his words are rough now, a little louder and more forceful as he looks me up and down, my lips part in surprise, at a loss for words. "You just can't stay away can you?" he chuckles softly, and he grabs my face roughly, forcing me to look up and fully meet his gaze, I gasp in surprise, making him huff out another amused breath. Adrenaline courses through me and I can't tell if Im more afraid or more turned on, my heart pounds wildly against my chest as I stare up at him. "You just want my cock, stuffing you all night making you scream," he moves his fingers down, gripping my throat now, his long fingers lightly squeezing. I moaned quietly, gasping for breath.
"They do say it's always the quiet ones, the shy ones," he snickered softly, I felt so small underneath him. He squeezed a little tighter, the way he was looking at me. He was so cold, angry even. Did he really believe that's all I wanted from him? Did he really think I didnt mean it when I told him I loved him? "You like the way I fuck you don't you? You like the way I eat your pussy while you cum over and over again? My greedy little slut," his voice rattled through me, I couldn't speak, I only whimpered in response as he pushed me down roughly onto the couch. My body buzzed, my pussy aching with need for him, I didnt care how he was treating me. I didnt care about anything except the fact that I could have him again.
"Is this what you want?" he asks, shoving my face into the arm of the couch, I moaned softly as he ripped my shirt down, my nipples rubbing against the rough fabric of the sofa. My pants are next, and he rips them down with such force I have to hang on tightly to the couch to brace myself. He grips my hips tightly, not even bothering to get me fully undressed. I cry out as he slams his cock into me, filling me all the way up without so much as a warning. Yes, this was exactly what I wanted... What I had been needing. Him. Filling me, close to me, panting over me. "I fucking missed you," he admits, his fingers digging into my hip bones as he fucks me harder than he ever had. I cried out in pleasure, the feelings of pain and pleasure mixing in the best of ways.
"Azriel," I moaned, feeling closer and closer as he pounded into me so deliciously deep. Hes rough, hands needy and gripping me hard, I knew I would be covered in bruises. It felt too damn good to worry about anything. "Oh yes," I moaned again, my body going limp as I came all over him. He lets out a long low groan, continuing to fuck me with everything he had before he collapses on top of me. We lay like that in silence for a few long minutes as we catch our breath, my heart is still racing, nerves churning as I didnt even know how to feel or what to say.
"Are you okay?" I finally break the silence, I instantly regret it as the second I do he's off of me, pulling his pants back up and tucking himself away.
"Im fine, I'll give you a ride," he says coolly and a lump rises in my throat as I scramble to get dressed. It felt like the room was spinning.
"I thought maybe we could hang out or-"
"I told you y/n I can't have a relationship with you, you want to have sex with me, I gave you what you wanted. Im sorting shit out right now. I can't give you anything else," he shrugs, looking down at me now, I could see his mask. I could see he was putting on a face, no matter how well he could fool everyone else.. I could see the cracks.
I didnt hold back when I screamed at him.
"You're fucking scared Azriel!" I wanted to throw something at him, I wanted to hurt him, embarrass him like he had just done to me. No matter how much I had enjoyed it he had just degraded me and fucked me and was now trying to kick me out. "You do this to yourself! You're so fucking afraid of feeling something besides hate or anger that you just push it all away and look at you now I mean what the fuck are you doing? You're doing all kinds of pills and shit every day now? Now you're acting like your father. You are your own worst fucking enemy Azriel," I cry out watching him wince at my words, visibly flinch like they had dealt him a blow.
I knew I was cruel, I knew the things I said were horrible and hateful but I hadn't been able to help myself. Not after he treated me like that.
-
a/n ooooops lol thoughts????
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riongeee · 26 days
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Hearr me outtt
Sebek (After malleus OB(that ended vry badly)) goes back in time, BUT not at the start of the year. He goes back in time as a child (4-8 y/o).
Like, he regains his memories thru a dream, he wakes up screaming and crying. His family js thinks that he had a nightmare or smth.
Now, he's trying to better himself. He's studying rlly hard (particularly abt overblots), and trys to be nicer to his father.
When he gets into NRC, he expects to get into diasomnia. Instead he's sorted somewhere else,
What dorm do u think he would end up in?? I was thinking ab this for a while,but i cant rlly decide..
Pls bestow upon me your divine wisdom, oh wise one 🙏🙏
Me + dorm swapping Sebek is basically my whole thing now (I am not complaining >:D)
So, assuming this, Sebek has gone through some absolutely traumatising stuff before being stuffed into his child body. Perhaps the reason he went back in time is actually because either he or Malleus die. (Malleus because maybe it caused a huge burst of magic...enough to send Sebek back)
So 6 year old Sebek wakes up absolutely in shambles, he watched his whole life play out and end.
Because of Sebek and his personality, I think he'd blame himself, maybe for not being strong or smart enough to protect Malleus. So he throws himself into studying, improving himself. His parents are worried about him but Sebek just drives himself into the ground studying and training in an endless loop.
Eventually, it gets to the point he is physically and mentally exhausted, maybe Sebeks dad thinks this is a result of the bullying he received for being half fae and just breaks down in front of Sebek. He thinks it's his fault his baby is hurting himself. This leads to Sebek seeing how hurt his family are by Sebeks self destructive behaviour and he breaks down in tears too. In his past life one of his main regrets was how he treated his father so he seeks to remedy it in this life.
He then decides to bring the whole family closer. Although his grandfather wasn't the nicest he still cared for Sebek and Sebek remembered that. When nobody else in his family understood Sebeks personality, Baul understood. So he doesn't want to die and leave his family on strained terms like in the last life.
Atleast if he dies again, they'll have eachother.
So through, some hard work , Sebek brings the family closer, he still has little to no friends, as unlike the last life he has still not been sent to Lillia for training(Sebek dreads seeing Diasomnia again).
When one day Baul asks if Sebek wants to train with a person Baul knows, he almost says yes before hesitating, he had never been as close to them as they were with eachother, so, if in this life he watched from afar..... maybe things would go better? (He ignores the way his hands tremble at the thought of seeing Malleus again, he nearly envisions the sound of tearing flesh before snapping back into reality).
So Sebek continues his efforts, he studies and trains like a man possessed.
When the day comes for his sorting ceremony Sebek doesn't look up until his name is called.
He doesn't look back (perhaps if he did he'd see Lillias anguished face, deapite not knowing the first year he feels as if he does)
So Sebek steps towards the mirror. Knowing.
"Savanaclaw!"
His eyes widen.
>:)
Okay so a few explanations of some of the details.
I'm rolling with the idea that Malleus died while overblotting and the sheer amount of magic reversed time.
Only Sebek fully remembered what happened (for now...) whilst others may feel deja vu or get flashbacks. Which is why Lillia feels something at seeing Sebek despite technically not meeting him. (For max angst potential everyone else slowly regain their memories and start to investigate why Sebek is so different)
Also Savanaclaw because it is the dorm of persistence and Sebek is persistent on improving and avoiding the outcome he saw. (Could also work with other dorms but I think Savanaclaw or Pomefiore are best for this).
Might expand on this but idk
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sixleggedboar · 29 days
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Hello everyone, since it's been very quiet on here I wanted to share an update for those who are wondering and the friends and mutuals I've been severly neglecting.
You'll find me oversharing under the cut but tldr, I am still in the middle of recovering from burnout, but it forced me to completely restructure my life to the degree that I am emotionally more stable and therefore feeling better than ever. So for anyone worrying, don't. I still have a long way to go, but I have the privilege of a good and reliable support net that caught me and offers me the resources I need to be able to build the life I need. I want to come back here, share more art in the future, but I will not force it.
And right now it's just not the time.
Thank you to everyone who's still here, thank you for your support!
CW: mental health, depression, suicidal ideation, internalised ableism
I had been suicidal my whole life. Had never known a time where I wasn't. Couldn't understand how people wanted to live, how this wasn't normal. I couldn't see myself in the future no matter how hard I tried. But I kept going because this was my normal, I didn't know anything else, didn't know I needed help and a change that was a lot more fundamental than just talking to a person every week. I had no frame of reference to communicate my struggle that came with every day life because for all I knew this is just how everyone else feels.
This is just life.
And I am just not made for it.
Didn't help that whenever I tried to communicate that to a mental health professional I just got brushed off as dramatic, being told I am fine.
Because in the end it just works. I function.
I was one of the lucky ones who got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, mum went to a specialist cause she has it herself and wanted to make sure I get tested so I don't have to go through the same struggles that come with staying undiagnosed as she did. Thing is, that diagnosis didn't really change much, I was still too academically gifted and non-obtrusive to be considered for medical treatment (and honestly seeing and hearing about stories were kids have been on the wrong dosage for years because no one knew better makes me think that maybe it was for the better) and my mum tried to teach me the skills to succeed in life despite that diagnosis, but she herself was alone and too deep in her own trauma to be able to provide the support I needed.
This lead to me cracking and dropping out of high school, trying other things, landing back in school, this time college, and cracking again, this time not managing to immediately get up again to keep going with something else.
Nothing seemed to work, so all I could do was to take a break.
A break that showed me for the first time, that no, chronically wanting to die is not normal, that I am capable of enjoying life, that I am capable of wanting to live and my first goal should be to figure out what I can do to crawl my way back into everyday life without losing that feeling, that knowledge. I learned the difference between just a really bad, but perfectly healthy, day and the excrutiating pain day to day living had caused me until that point.
And that break's been going on for over a year now, with me periodically trying to get back into school, trying to figure out what accommodations I need and how I can build a future for myself that is worth living.
I don't know if I'll finish my bachelor's, probably not, but if I drop out I'll need to find a viable alternative first. I don't think I'll ever be able to work full time, doubt I'll ever be able to fully support myself, but I know there is a future out there for me somewhere, one that is worth living to me and that is a hope I never had until recently. That is what I mean when I say I am doing better than ever, despite the fact that my functionality has effectively crumbled to dust and diagnostics say I am still depressed.
I am still struggling with the guilt that comes with relying on others for support, that comes with not being the perfect productive member of society I am expected to be, that comes with not being the perfect friend I want to be. I learned that I actually do want to work, something that if you had asked me a year ago, and if I felt save enough to be honest, I would have said no to. I just need to figure out what that looks like. I learned I can only focus on a handful of things, and that includes basic survival and individual people. I learned what I need to not feel lonely without being overwhelmed by social interactions and have incredible people in my life who make that possible.
I also met my amazing partner who is showing me how stable and unwavering love can be. Who gives me the security I need to say that whatever comes, we'll figure it out.
Oh and yeah, starting medical transition sure as hell helped a lot too.
I am currently trying to find my passions again, learn how to actually love creating art again, to learn how to learn and find enjoyment in just the act of it.
I'm in therapy and am trying out medications in the hopes to find some that work and don't make things worse.
All in all I'm going somewhere. I don't know where it will lead but I know that it will be worth it.
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starfxkrreloaded · 18 days
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die for me - jj. m.
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trap!jj x reader
jj keeps his circle small, and that’s on purpose. he knows better than anyone. now he’s got you and he needs to make sure you’re down to ride
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first time jj tested you it was simple--ride with him during a drop off and keep quiet. he didn't tell you it was a test, but it was common sense. a compulsory nod was all you gave the other person as you sat next to him and looked as disinterested as possible, even though your heart was pounding.
you passed. next was test two.
just hold onto some weed for him. nothing crazy. jj didn't ask you to sell it or anything. just keep it safe in your dorm, don't let it get stolen and you were good.
room checks and all you managed to keep it safe, the proud grin alone made your heart soar. but then he called you his girl, and things started to feel more real. already you were going where no other girl has and you were elated.
all things considered, you were proving yourself, moreso than any other girl had in the past and this wasn't something jj took lightly at all. you relinquished control to him with such little fight it made him want to see how far you were willing to go.
it was supposed to be like any other night--you ride along for the drop off, sitting quietly until you could relax at the party.
something was off, jj gave you a beer earlier, to "relax your nerves" but you felt frazzled and out of control. the seatbelt was digging into your chest and you couldn't stop fidgeting with it, your skin burned and time seemed to be moving too slow with each movement. out of the corner of your eye you swore jj was smiling at you like the devil.
"feelin alright over there?" there was a laugh in his voice, or at least you thought so. a sharp pain in your thigh brought your attention to how hard he was gripping you, trees and houses flew past your vision as jj sped down the backroads.
"y-yeah..?" it was a lie, and he knew it. but again you said nothing, "that-that beer you gave me-"
"what about it."
there was a beat, you sucked in a breath as he took a sharp turn, "it was good. can i get another?" there was nothing you wanted less as the pads of your feet seemed to numb.
jj laughed for real this time, "nah sugar, you don't need another one. could give you somethin else though."
before you could reply you could see blue and red lights flashing behind you and jj cursed, pulling over frantically.
"shit. i'ma realllly listen to what i tell you, take this." he pulls a gun from his waistband and shoves it in your lap.
"what am i-?"
"look at me, look at me, everything's gonna be cool, just do what i tell you okay? keep quiet, keep it hidden and let papa handle it."
you only had a few more seconds to get your bearings, heart pounding as you slid the gun into the tattered upholstery of your seat and tried your best to sober up before you were almost blinded by a flashlight, "now jj, why am i not surprised. you realize how fast you were going."
breathe, keep calm, it's just shoupe, just a speed trap. there was no reason to panic.
"what'd you say young lady?"
you don't remember speaking at all, but you could feel jj tense up.
he lets out a terse laugh, "don't listen to her. look it's the middle of the night, i had a long day, we really just wanna go home."
the older man lets out a long pause, and you squint when he aims the flashlight at you, "are you sure you're alright?"
without thinking you smile, whole body relaxing when you respond with a yawn, "all good, just, look shoupe. it's 3 am, there's nobody here and if anything it's my fault. i've been nagging him to get home all night, my feet hurt, my back's tight, i'm hungry, and i've had a shitty week at work and-" you began to really play it up, getting more frantic and neurotic as you watched shoupe transform from suspicious to uncomfortable while you pushed yourself near tears into hysterics, "fuck i just wanna go home, every time i try something happens when i just wanna be in bed!"
"alright, alright jesus. look i'll let you off with a warning, just this once so you can calm down. please get this young lady home in one piece jj."
jj loosens his grip on the steering wheel, his smile tight as he waves him off, "whatever you say moustache."
shoupe sighs, shaking his head as he walks off and jj sinks into his seat with a huff, turning to you with a grin on his face as he pulls you in for a deep kiss, "don't know how i got lucky with smart girl like you, most girls don't even make it this far."
giggling, you release a shaky breath, "i told you, i'm quick on my feet."
he gives you one last kiss as you pull off, but you only make it a couple miles before he's shutting the lights off and parking behind a tree.
"wait, jj you said we were goin home?"
he unbuckles his seatbelt, turning the music up slightly while he adjusts his seat back, "we are, but i figure my girl deserves somethin special after what you pulled off back there."
the sun's coming up by the time you make it back.
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skrrts · 2 months
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ice cream break (drabble)
✧ gn!reader & jongho ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, fluff ✧ word count: 722
you find yourself disappointed by the lack of rain after enduring the summer heat all day, but jongho shows up, surprising you with ice cream.
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You looked up at the bright blue sky, wondering what had become of the clouds and rain your weather app had promised earlier today. It was hard to tell what was worse: to step out from an office with an amazing AC right into the heat or your disappointment about the rain you were so looking forward to thanks to the current heatwave giving you a hard time.
“I should get one of those mini fans,” you muttered, taking two stairs at a time, hoping to catch your bus and escape the summer heat. It really wasn’t your season, and you quietly cursed it, knowing everyone else seemed to love summer: the hotter the better.
A familiar figure appeared before you, bringing you back to reality. Jongho's face was calm and relaxed as always, his black hair shining in the afternoon sun. He seemed unbothered by the heat, wearing a long-sleeve jacket while everyone else wore as few fabrics as possible.
“Jongho,” you smiled and walked faster to reach him. He waited patiently for you, holding two waffles filled with ice cream. “When I finished work earlier, I saw that the rain they announced this morning wouldn’t arrive. I figured you’d be melting without some refreshments.” Ah yes, you texted him about this earlier.
He was teasing you, and you made a face but couldn’t hide the smile. “Well, as always, you’re more than right. How do you stand there looking all calm and cool while I feel like I’m about to die? What’s your secret?”
Jongho offered you one of the waffles with a small grin. “That is my secret. If anyone knew, it wouldn’t be as cool anymore, right?” Of course, he would give you an answer like that, but you enjoyed his sense of humor.
“Fine, I’ll just brag about you then. The man who never seems to sweat during the hot months,” you teased, taking a big bite of your ice cream. Jongho shook his head, watching you. “How can you eat ice cream like that?”
Maybe it wasn’t usual to swallow half of it at once, but it was too refreshing to be slow. “Secret technique! Besides, you came all this way to give this to me. I refuse to let the sun have even a small drop. This Choi Jongho afternoon snack surprise is all mine.”
You managed to coax a soft laugh from him as he shook his head. “You really are something.” Jongho ate his ice cream much slower, yet managed to dodge your attempt to playfully bump into his shoulder perfectly. It was like he knew what you were about to do before it happened.
“Mh, I am thankful you came. It was a nice surprise. Thank you. I mean, not only for the ice cream, this workday had been tense. It’s nice to see one of my favorite faces,” you mumbled the last part more softly. It was hard to tell if he noticed, but maybe he was just too kind to tease you this once.
“Well, I have been really busy lately with that new project at work, and you still took the time to send me a message every day, even knowing I’d probably not answer most of them. Just wanted to make sure you know I am still thinking about you, even if we do not text…”
You shrugged slightly, but he smiled anyway.
“I understand, and that’s okay. I will always be here whenever you have the time, so do not worry,” you promised. Jongho seemed to think for a moment before he opened his bag and pulled out a small cardboard box with one of those little fans printed on it.
“Well, I can’t bring you ice cream every day, but this should help. Once it’s autumn, I will be done, and we can meet more often again. So, make sure you do not melt until then.” His voice was so serious while the gesture was so sweet.
You looked at it, appreciating that it was even in your favorite color, before giving him a playful bow. “I shall not! Now that I have my own weapon against the heat and the promise of time with you, summer shall not defeat me.”
“Your ice cream is melting,” he answered instead, and you blushed, hurrying to finish it.
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sosa2imagines · 9 months
Text
Dean Winchester is a softie.
Warnings- only fluff , Dean Winchester he is a warning! Grumpy, Flirty and Softy
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The air in the motel room you shared with Dean was filled with a thick and fuming tension.
You had just gotten back from a somewhat successful case. ‘Somewhat’ because the monster you were hunting was dead, but it left you in bad shape, after a reckless decision on your part to make yourself bait in order to save the victim. Your plan worked, in the end. And you survived, but that doesn’t make Dean any less angry.
“I can’t believe you.” He finally spoke up, a bitterness laced in his voice. "At least the women was safe!" you tried to reason with him.
“At least I don’t have to mourn over your ass too.” Dean retorted, crossing his arms and leaning his back on the wall. "Wow let's celebrate then!" you joked which annoyed him more. “Celebrate what? Your dumb ass decision to use yourself as bait?”
What other option did we have? You tried to reason again but Dean scoffed. “What other option? What about all the times I told you don’t go off on your own’? Or Stay in touch? Or ‘Don’t make rash decisions’?” he yelled.
"Rash decisions my ass! Our job is to protect and that's what I did." you yelled back getting slightly annoyed by him. “At what cost, then?” Dean shot back, crossing his arms. “You could have died, you know that right? Or did you decide to ignore that too?” "I know, ok!" you hissed in pain "I didn't do it on purpose, but I just couldn't stand there, and let some innocent person die."
Dean went quiet, letting out a long exhale before speaking again. “We could argue about this all day…But it’s done.” He said, his voice softening. “Don’t risk your life like that again, ok? Promise me that much.” he pleaded. You took a deep breath, "I promise you, I will be careful next time."
"You better. I couldn’t afford to lose you now, not after everything else that’s happened to me.” Dean paused for a second before adding, “Plus you still owe me $20.” You soften your gaze at him "You won't lose me Dean, never, before realizing what he said making you glare at him " What $20?"
He smirked and rolled his eyes. “The bet we made when we started this case, remember?” Dean asked with a knowing smirk on his face. “So pay up.” Ah the bet you both had shook hands to. If either of you are reckless or dies, you owe money to the survivor. "No, I'm alive so I win" you shrugged casually.
“Oh yeah? Then what about the fact you almost got yourself killed?” He raised an eyebrow, smirking.. You tried to stifle laughing. "that didn't happen so technically I won"
"You think just because you were lucky enough to be alive you win? Think again." He said, walking towards you. "Now pay the hell up." "No I won't" you pouted.
“Oh you’re gonna pay.” He said, his smirk disappearing. He extended his hand forward. “Money.” You thought it would be funny so you placed your hand in his palm. Dean didn't find it funny though. “Money.” He said again, tightening his grip on your hand. You tried to pull away, "Hey watch it, I said no!"
“I’m not letting go of you until you give me the money.” He replied, gripping your hand tighter. "I can take it" you smirked at him. “Oh really?” Dean smirked back at you, tightening his grip even more. “You can’t beat the Winchester grip.” He said, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You smirked playfully at him "Oh yeah? You are on! The money is safe in my back pocket and I won't give it to you!"
He moved closer, his expression turning sour and his brows furrows. “Give it.” He demanded, his grip even tighter. You pat your back pocket with your free hand, "Nope" "Give me the money or I swear to god.." He growled, looking angry. "The money, or I'll grab it from your pocket myself and take it." He said, still keeping his grip on your hand. "What? you'll just rip it apart?" you smirked playfully, "No I won't give it to you, now let go of my hand Winchester!" "I am not letting go until I get the money, do I make myself clear?" He said, squeezing your hand harder, but not painful enough to hurt.
You squeezed his hand hard challenging him "Try your best" Dean narrowed his eyes "Last chance…" He grunted, his expression turning stern.
"Oh I'm scared, nope!" Dean then reached out and tried to grab your pocket, his other hand still gripping your other hand tightly. "What are you doing?" “Taking. The. Money.” Dean responded, trying to reach for your back pocket, his grip on your hand still tight. You started to move backwards, Dean went after you holding your hand, still trying to grab your pocket. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asked, following you. "Anywhere possible with you refusing to let go of my hand"
“Give! Me! The! Money!” He roared, his grip tightening on your hand. “No more chances. You pay up, or it’s trouble.” He hissed, keeping a firm stare on your eyes. You glared at him hoping he will stop, but no! “I said, give me the goddamn money.” Dean demanded, clenching the fist of his hand that was holding yours. “Now.” "No!" you shout.
Dean kept glaring at you as his other hand finally reached your back pocket. He tried to grasp the money, but you kept it firmly locked. “Last chance before I rip your pocket open.” He warned. "Then you'll have to buy me new pair of jeans" you smirked. “Don’t test me.” Dean said. “I’ll do just that.” “You think I’m kidding?” He asked. “You’re either giving me the money, or I’m ripping your pocket.” He said, narrowing his eyes. “Take your pick.” At this point it wasn't about the money, you were actually having fun playing with him. "Are you going to buy me new pair of jeans?" He stayed silent for a moment, his brows furrowed. “No.” He said. “But you are giving me that money or your jeans are not what you have to worry about.” "Of course I have to worry about that, I can't roam around pant-less"
Dean glared, then grabbed your pocket and tried to grab the money from the inside of it. He finally got a hold of it and took out a few notes. “$20…” He said, looking at you as he crumpled the notes and threw it on the bed. “Happy?” He asked, his tone turning sour.
Ok he didn't need to do that. You grabbed the money and put it back in your pocket "That was cute" you rolled your eyes. Dean clenched his jaw when you grabbed the $20 and put it back in your pocket. “Cute?” He asked, glaring. “Cute? Do you have any idea how much I worried about you?” So this was not about the money, it is about you, you smiled softly looking at him "Look I'm sorry for making you worry, but I had to do, what I had to do, to save the innocent people."
Dean stayed silent for a moment. “I know…but you gotta think about yourself too.” He said, keeping his tone soft and caring. He walked towards you and placed his hands on your shoulders. “I know you’re a hunter, you know that you never back down before a fight…But you gotta use your head too.” He looked into your eyes. “I’m worried about you, ok? I can’t lose you.”
You hugged him and slipped the money into his pocket, "I know , I'm so sorry Dean and I promise you, you won't lose me I promise you." He hugged you back, returning the affection you gave him. He then looked at you and smiled. “Good. Now come here and give me a kiss.” He said, smirking as he spoke. “For making me worry.” he demanded just like that, as if he was asking for an apple. You looked at him with wide eyes, heat rushing in you body, "What?"
“Come here, or else.” He growled, gripping your shoulders tight as he pulled you closer to him. “Now give me that kiss.” He said with a smirk on his face. “Or there will be consequences.” You gulped nervously, thinking oh god, but the way he was looking at you with desire and lust and care made your knees go weak, and his tone nothing but serious made you give away, so you closed your eyes and kissed him. He closed his eyes and kissed you back. After pulling away, he smiled and ran his hands through your hair. “That’s better.” He said, his tone turning sweet again as his expression lightened up. “Now you need to rest, while I go clean up.” He chuckled as he glanced at your slightly-battered condition.
"I wonder what the consequences would have been" you mumbled to yourself in low voice with curiosity eating you, but oh boy he heard it, “No, you really don’t.” He said, looking at you with a stern expression, but then let out a sigh when he saw your pleading eyes. “Ok, fine…Do you want to be punished?” He asked, smirking.
That ran a shiver down your spine, "Oh look at the time, I should rest" you blushed, heat pooling in your stomach. He smirked. That was definitely not gonna work. Who were you trying to fool? “I think you should rest on my lap.” His voice was sweet as he held his arms out. “Come here now.” You looked at him curiously, contemplating your options but, he opened his arms out and you went towards him. You lay down on his lap, your head resting against his chest as he hugged you, his arms wrapping around you. “Better?” He whispered, his eyes locking on yours for a moment. “I know you wanted to get cozy with me.”
You wanted to say BEST but you were to shy, red as tomato. “My lap is pretty cozy, don’t you think?” He asked with a smirk. “Nice and soft just for you.” He chuckled. “I bet you never thought to be here, huh?” You somehow found your voice to speak "Yeah it is cozy and no I never thought I would be here"
“And I bet you never thought I’d be this sweet with you.” He teased, his tone still sweet as he held you. “Is this what you wanted? A cozy night together?” He smirked. Truth to be told, you both were dancing around your feelings for each other, Sam gave up trying to get you both together, the sexual tension was deep. But neither of you tried to make a move. Who would have thought a serious injury would be the up rise of your relationship with Dean.
"Oh I knew you would be sweet with me and yes this is what I wanted" you said with confidence that you found all of a sudden. “Oh yeah? How’d you know?” He asked, his smirk turning into a little grin. “Maybe I’m sweet with every girl I see?” He asked playfully. You gave him a death glare, how dare he ruin the perfect moment?
“What?” He asked with a smirk, not letting go of you. “Don’t tell me you’re a jealous princess.” "Why would I? Maybe someone else might be sweet with me too!" “Someone else? Someone better than me?” He asked, his voice turning flirty as he kissed your cheek. “Because if someone did, you’d be sleeping in their arms right now, not with me, right?” He smirked.
How the hell did this man had so much effect on you? From chewing your ears off, to manhandling for money, to demanding to kiss him, to making you speechless! How did he do that?
"You got the point" you scoffed and pouted. His smirk faded and he stared at you, his eyes full of longing and desire. “I don’t want anybody else. I want you, always.” He said, not letting go of you. “Are you mine and I can have you?” He asked, his gaze on you firm. How can you say no to him, when he is looking at you like that? "I'm yours, you can have me."
He smiled and held on tight to you, his lips caressing your forehead gently. “I thought you were never going to admit it. You’re too stubborn.” He chuckled. “But you are mine now. So I expect cuddles and kisses every night.” He teased, his voice turning sweet again. "My stubborn-ness depends on the situation and this is a complete new Dean Winchester I'm witnessing, not complaining though."
“Oh really? So you didn’t have an idea that I could be sweet?” He chuckled, running his fingers through your hair. He then leaned a little closer to your ears. “You should see what else I can do when alone with you.” He whispered, his voice full of seduction. You looked at him with a love filled gaze. "What else do you want to do?"
“How about you let me show you?” He smirked and gently pulled you closer to him. “I hope you’re ready, sweetheart. It’s about to get heated up between us.” He whispered, smirking as his gaze locked on yours. You nodded and that was enough for him.
“Good.” That was all he said before turning your face towards him. He kissed you deeply, his lips full of passion and desire. His fingers slid trough your hair as his lips danced with yours, until he finally pulled away to breathe. “So, you want to see what else I can do alone with you?” He asked, his voice turning deep, playful and full of seduction. “I’m all yours, sweetheart.” Before you can answer him, his lips were on yours once more in an instant and his hand was back at your hair, caressing your head gently. As he kissed you passionately, he kept his eyes locked on yours as well, never looking away once, as if he never wants to forget this moment he’s spending with you. “Does that answer your question, sweetheart? How I can be sweet with you?” He whispered, his voice thick with love and sincerity. “How I can be gentle and caressing?” He asked, his tone turning sweet again.
"Yes it does" you whispered. “Good, my princess.” He pulled away from the kiss once more and ran his fingers through your hair once again, admiring your beauty. “Do you know how much I love you?” He asked, his voice turning gentle as his eyes locked on yours. “I care for you a lot. Too much to lose you.” He whispered. “So don't ever make me worry, ok? And never put yourself in a risky situation. Ok?”
"I promise you I won't do it ever again" “Good. Now lay on me again. I missed having you in my arms.” He chuckled and opened his arms out once more, waiting for you to lay on his lap. “And then we’ll go to sleep.” He added, smirking. “Because you need to get some rest after today.” He said, his tone turning gentle again. He pulled you closer, so that your head lay on his chest once more, the same as how it was before.
“Good night, princess.” And with those words, Dean closed his eyes as he held you tight to his chest.
(This is my first ever attempt writing about Dean Winchester, I hope you all enjoy, let me know in comments 😊❤️)
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imnotsimpingyouare · 1 year
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UPPERMOONS' ROLE IN THE BEDROOM
NSFW Headcannons - Minors DNI
For Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu Clones
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I think it's so funny putting writing like this underneath some stupid meme or some shit. Like I can't even. Why is it so funny to me.
Also sorry but something about Gyokko is fishy to me so I'm replacing his little hand-having Muichiro-torturing ass with Kaigaku in the next bit.
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Muzan
This man is the demon king. I hope you're not expecting him to be nice with you, cuz you're wrong.
He's a dom.
And a bit of a sadist.
But how can you hate him for it? Especially when he looks like that.
I know this man LOVESS to have you under him for hours at a time. Like bro will not leave you alone until you physically cannot go anymore. At least he has the decency to listen to you when you safeword out.
He's evil, but not like... evil. Yk?
He especially loves to punish you when you do wrong. And getting a rise out of him is fairly easy, so one wrong step and you'll be over his lap until you can't even remember what you did to set him off.
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Kokushibo
Kokushibo is a dom, but I can see him getting off to you trying your best to take control. He adores that you try so hard to prove your worth, but I think both of you know it's not gonna happen.
He loves to listen. Sometimes he becomes eerily quiet, lost in the sounds you're making while he's absolutely annihilating your poor cunt.
He's a huge fan of receiving also. Not that he won't eat you out whenever you ask, but I feel it would be..... uncomfortable for his lower pair of eyes?
LMFAO
Are they closed? Are they open? Can he even close them separately?
I'm sorry for bullying you Koku.
He can't get enough of seeing your head between his thighs, trying your best to take him all with that tiny human mouth of yours.
He's mean with punishments though. He's not easy to irritate like Muzan, but if you tease him too much you'll find yourself edged for hours, with only a 50/50 chance of getting to cum (depending on if you beg right). Moreover, he mainly thinks it's sad how his lovely little human has done something to upset him when your track record was so good.
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Douma
Absolute sadist. Look at this devious fuck. He'll do anything to make you beg, anything to hear your beautiful voice beg him for more.
Oh he started soooo vanilla. Sweet nothings like "Are you okay, flower?" "I'm not hurting you, am I love?"
But one day he dug his claws in a little too hard, and your whine at that burning sensation..
🔒🔑 sadist UNLOCKED
From that moment on he made it a point to leave as many marks on you as possible. Bites, hickeys, scratches, anything that proved to everyone else that you are HIS. And ONLY HIS.
He'll even present you to his followers that way, proudly demonstrating that you've been "chosen by him to aid his spiritual work."
He reeeeeaaaaally needs to do a better job at knowing when to stop. Demons have unlimited stamina, and you feel so good around him, he'll only stop when he's noticed your moans have ceased, and you're passed out under him. WHY DID YOU EVEN CREATE A SAFEWORD.
It just feels so good, you know? You have to REALLY get his attention when you want him to stop, or so help me god he will get lost in it.
It's because of this that he is one of the best at aftercare. He'll clean you up, cuddle with you, do anything he can to appeal to his pitiful, fucked-out human.
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Akaza
Look at him. You know him.
The most vanilla MF ever.
He's so gentle and sweet with you, taking his time on every little thing.
He prefers to have control over the pacing, and that's why he fits into the dom role. He doesn't like to go too fast, or graze over the most intimate parts of the act.
This man will die to give. Don't get me wrong, he'll take some good head any day of the week, but it can't compare to seeing your expression from between your legs when his tounge laps at your overstimulated clit.
He'd never tell you, he's your brave Akaza, but he's SO scared of hurting you in ANY way. He's always checking up on you, making sure his grip isn't too tight, he's not going too fast, you're properly prepared... ect.
He's the aftercare KING 👑
No one can match up to this man. He has cooked you FIVE STAR MEALS at the mere words "kinda want a snack"
He'll hold you in his arms and will NOT LET GO. FOR ANY REASON.
He's just so happy to be connected with his sweet little human. Can you blame him for that?
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Sekido
Roughest dom to exist. He wants nothing more than to absolutely destroy you, what better way to release his anger? Not that he'll ever truly be not angry, anyway. But you help.
I feel like he's one for routine. He doesn't want to change things up, because why would he change something that's already so good.
Does not know how to be gentle with you. He BITES YOU. When he wants to KISS YOU.
Beware of the fucking dog. Man needs his own damn sign.
It all starts when you wear a skirt that's a LITTLE too short. You don't even notice. But he does. He notices.
One minute, you're making dinner, and the next moment, you're bent over the kitchen counter, taking it while he marks up your neck and shoulders.
From then on, he's unafraid to take you anywhere. In the forest. In a STRANGER'S(victim's) HOUSE. HE DOESN'T CARE.
As free-use as he is, he refuses to allow any one else to see you coming undone for him. He'll only take you if he knows there's a 0% chance of being walked in on. Not only will it turn him off, it'll make him so incredibly angry he'll rip off somebody's head.
#hopeitsnotyou
#wontevengettofinish
#dontwalkinhereurogi
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Aizetsu
Boy is a switch. 100%
He just wants to be in you, he doesn't care who's doing the dominating.
He's loud.
Like, bb tries so hard not to make any noise, but how can he not, when you're bouncing on his cock like that?
Whines and whimpers all the way. I literally have not seen anyone deny this. It's a fact.
He can't handle when you talk dirty to him. It's like a spell. ESPECIALLY words of encouragement. He just wants to feel validated by you, poor guy. He's literally depression if depression was hot and if you wanted depression to fuck you over in another way than figuratively.
He loves to give you head as much as he loves receiving it. He wants to see you melt to his touch, he wants to know that he's the only one who can make you feel this way.
Aizetsu lives in fear of you yearning for one of the other clones instead. That's why his mission is to be as nice to you as possible. Not... *slow* nice, just *gentle* nice. He'll cuddle with you, he'll kiss you, he'll keep his cock in you for as long as he wants. Only when you're absolutely spent he'll be done with you.
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Karaku
Man is the pleasure clone.
He knows EXACTLY how to get you off. It only takes one time for him to learn the ins and outs of your body.
He just wants you to feel as good as you can. He'll keep your legs pinned for hours, not caring when you tug his hair or beg him to stop. If you're not safewording, you can take more. That's his motto.
He'll cum where he wants, he'll fuck where he wants, in any position he wants, he's selflessly selfish, if you get the juxtaposition.
He loves to switch it up every now and then. If he has an idea you'll partake in, you're doing it. As long as it's with you, he's open to whatever.
Karaku is the king of teasing you. He's not going to let you cum until you're BEGGING. Like capital B Begging.
His favorite thing is to see you riding him. It makes him feel so good inside when he sees your legs shake. His poor little human can't even handle riding him. How sad is that? But he's not opposed to helping you.
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Urogi
Bro goes absolutely wild. Like.. he cannot get enough of you after the first time.
So incredibly loud. Grunts, moans, yells, man has no shame and no fucks to give because his only fuck has already been spent on you.
He's sensitive on his back because no one ever puts their warm little human hands back there. No one can reach because of his massive fucking wings. So when you massage him, preen his wings, anything that involves your gentle touch on his back, AUTOMATIC HORNY.
He doesn't even know how to articulate when he's horny. The only thing he can think about is fucking. Literally you'll just be cuddling and he'll start undressing you, no warning.
#whatthefuck
He's really bad at pacing. Like.. he has no routine, no rhythm, no idea when he's gonna cum or how he's gonna get to that point. You've really gotta help him out on that.
I feel like Urogi would have a hard time prepping you because of his massive, razor sharp fucking talons. Like he went to do it after you told him "dude I can't just take your whole dick out of the blue" and realized for the first time that having talons may be inconvenient when trying to be intimate.
No worries though, he gets equally horny watching you stuff yourself with your own fingers, wanting to put his hands all over you, but knowing the real fun will come soon.
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