#i wish them nothing but the best but i just cant take it anymore im tired of being afraid to do or say literally anything

[soft-bugs]

!

[divinesolas]

Ignored

Summary: Based on two requests; You had been best friends with Jacaerys since you were kids. But when he gets a girlfriend and joins the football team in college your whole life gets turned upside down and he's suddenly ditched you. A year after you are confronted by him and emotions spill to the surface.

w.c: 2.7k

c.w: Porn with plot, sub!jace, hand job, overstimulation, p in v, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP), car sex, im not good at angry sex or mean stuff guys so sorry,

masterlist

One year. one fucking year since you’ve last spoken to him. You never imagined the two of you would end up like this.

He gets on the college football team and gets some hot girlfriend and suddenly he’s too good for you. You doubt he’s even noticed. It was slow to start, he started being busy during your weekly hang outs, then it would slip his mind to text you back, then he just suddenly stopped texting you. You had been replaced, you would always spend the holidays with his family but this past year you had seen Lucerys post on his insta holiday pictures and she was there instead. Everyone else in his family had reached out to you at some point. usually something along the lines of a happy holidays and that they hoped to see you soon, that they missed you. They even wished you happy birthday. He didn’t.

You had gotten to the point you stopped answering his family's texts, it made you feel sick when Lucerys asked if you would come to his birthday party and you didn’t have the heart to reply to him. You stopped checking their socials, even going as far as to mute them but you didn’t have the heart to unfollow them. then it would get too real, that the people you’ve considered family since you were basically a baby were no longer around.

You wish you didn’t miss him. You wish when started at your aunts gravestone he was not the face that appeared in your mind when you wished you had someone to comfort you. She had died six months ago, you hadn’t even bothered to text him about it. He met her a couple times, but its not like he would care now.

You do not cry for her anymore. Having come far enough in your grief, but you feel yourself come to a halt when you are walking through the graveyard and are stopped by a familiar family.

“Y/n?” You feel a knot grow in your throat. Why were they here? you could see lucerys was holding some flowers. “Hello.” What else are you supposed to say? You are frozen in place as lucerys walks over and throws his arms around you. “I missed you.” You try not to let your tears spill down your face as Lucerys pulls back and looks at you alarmed, “Are you okay?”

You laugh and cover your face with your hands, unable to even describe what you’re feeling. “You’re so tall.” Your voice cracks as you speak and he slaps you on the shoulder. “’Course i am, had to get taller than mr prince charming over there.”

You don’t want to look at him. You wish he was not even there. But you cannot help yourself the way your eyes drift to where Lucerys is referring to and you wish you hadn’t. He is as beautiful as he was the last day you saw him, he looks like he just came out of a romcom, a long trench coat covering him and a bouquet of flowers in his hands. You have no clue what he’s thinking, his face giving nothing away, cant take your eyes off him. The way his eyes have a gloss over them as he takes a couple steps towards you.

You swiftly turn away from his and notice rhaenyra standing at your side and she reaches out a grips your forearm. “It is so wonderful to see you dear.” You nod and smile at her, “It is always a pleasure Ms. Targaryen.” she hits your arm, “You stay away for a couple months and suddenly I’m Ms. Targaryen, call me rhaenyra dear you know better.” You want to correct her, tell her its been over a year. yet you don't, only nodding and apologizing to her.

“What are you doing here?” Its the first words he’s said to you in god knows how long. You swear your knees almost crumple at the sound of his voice. You want to punch him, spit in his face, you wish you hated him. “My aunt died.” You spit at the ground, you voice coming out angrier than you indented it to.

The people around you immediately flood around to give their condolences. You thank them, Lucerys especially kept you in a deep hug and mentioned how they came today to see rhaenyra's father but they'll make sure to stop by your aunt’s grave.

He says nothing. nothing at all. You hate him. You hate him so much. But you cant say no when they ask if you’ll join them to see viserys and your aunt. you cant even say no when they offer you to join them for dinner.

you two say nothing to each other, not until you say you’ll drive in your car on the way there and turn to walk towards it, still having the map to their house memorized until you are stopped, a hand gripping on your forearm.

“Can i ride with you?” You don't turn around to look at him. Continuing to stare straight ahead, your heart and head churning. You want to tell him no, that you don't wish to ever even see him again. “Please.”

“Fine.”

But you're a pussy. the biggest punk in the whole world as you watch him slide into the passenger seat as you close the drivers door. A silence fills the space between you two, you don't want to speak, a part of you hopes it will stay that way.

“What happened with us?” You harshly break at the red light and whip your head towards him. Rage boiling at your skin as you hiss at him, “What happened? What do you mean what happened? You're the one who ditched me!”

“What the fuck are you taking about?” “Oh so you’re just gonna act like you didn't fucking stop talking to me after you a girlfriend? What is her name? i don't even fucking know because you never introduced us.” A loud honk behind you forced you to turn your head away from him and back on the road, you swear your knuckles turned white from the pressure you were squeezing it.

“i-” “No. Because you know what Jace. Fuck you. Fuck you and your stupid face and your stupid girlfriend and your stupid friends because you fucking left me. You have no reason to sit around and ask me what the fuck happened between us because it was all because of you. i put in the effort to reach out i even sent you a fucking gift for your birthday because you couldn't spare the time to hang with me and you don't even text me a happy fucking birthday?!? Fuck you man.”

Your hands slam down on the wheel in frustration as you clench your jaw, the fucking nerve of this guy. You don’t even spare him another glance and he doesn't dare to say anything else for awhile. the drive is long, they were buried far out from your homes so the drive was over an hour.

it takes twenty minutes before he says anything. “I’m sorry.” It comes out strained, if you looked at him he would probably be crying but you do not dare look at him. “I wish i could explain to you why i did it, why i acted like that. But I’m sorry. I’m sorry i just think i liked the attention, i liked having people fawn over me. And her, fuck i don't know, i liked her sure, but she fucking cheated on me with one of the guys on the team, told me she only got with me to get closer to him. Its not an excuse, i should have never put what we had down the drain for someone that never really mattered because you, you matter to me more than anyone else. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry, ill say it forever because i don't deserve your forgiveness.”

You pull over into a road side parking lot because you couldn't see the road anymore. Your eyes filled with tears as your shoulders shook with silent sobs, “I am sorry i made you feel this way, that you couldn't even come to me when she died, i liked it, i remember she gave me the toy car display i still have in my room fuck i can't even imagine how you must feel. I miss you. I miss you so much.”

You put your head against the wheel and allow yourself to sob. This is all you’ve wanted to hear for so long that now you have no clue how to feel. You want to tell him to fuck off. That he has no reason to be begging for your forgiveness now.

“Jacaerys,” You swear you hear it wrong, that you must be confused. He whimpers. “No please,” “Its dragged out in a way that has your stomach churning and you shift in your seat. “Don’t call me Jacaerys, Jace please.”

You must be strong. You cannot give into to his sad puppy eyes and cries. Yet you look over to him and feel your resolve crumble. He has tears streaming down his face. He’s looking at you. Has he been looking at you this whole time? “You left me Jace.” He lets out a trembled breath as he dares with shaky hands to grab yours. “I'm sorry. I will beg you to forgive me till the end of time because i will never deserve it. I need you.”

Your heart pounds against your chest as the two of you stare at one another. You feel your hands shake in his grip as the two of you unknowingly move closer to each other.

“I realized after i found out what she had done i was more upset about the fact you were not there more than anything. She had begged me to take her back but the only thing i could think about was you. I was so stupid and so blind i will never forgive myself. You are everything to me.”

“Jace,” He cups your cheeks and lets out a trembled breath, “I was a fool to let you go. I will never make that mistake again,” You cannot believe what is happening, he does not truly mean what you think he’s saying does he? “I had months to think it over. I am so madly in love with you. If you do not feel the same i will act like this never happened and we can just go back to being friends or even if you cannot stomach being around me we can just never talk but-”

He lets out a surprised moan as you shove your lips against his and eagerly pressed his lips against yours. He a lot more vocal than you had expected him to be, eagerly humming against your lips as his hands have moved to your neck.

He lets out a shocked gasp when you push him back into his seat and looks at you with wide eyes as you climb over his lap, pulling the level to have him lay over his back and simply stare at him as you hover above him. He whimpers as you grab the front of his shirt and pull him towards your face, “This is for me. Not you. Right?” He eagerly nods, more than willing to take anything you’ll give him.

He whines as you unbutton his black dress pants and waste no time shoving your hand past his boxers and gripping onto his dick. His head is thrown backwards as you rub your thumb against his tip, ignoring his mumbles until enough precum has dripped down onto your hand before you begin vigorously pumping him up and down.

You do not stop even as he’s asking you to slow down. Well you do, but it is always right before he’s about to come. You do this again. and again. and again. He feels like he’s about to burst, the stimulation is too much for him to bare.

“Please.” You tilt your head at him as he grips the front of your button down shirt. “What do you want?” Your words are spoken like he a stranger approaching you on the street, he whimpers and shoves his head into your chest, his tears threatening to spill out. “Please,”

“awe are you so fucked out you have no clue what you’re talking about huh?” He’s babbling nonsense as you feel his tears pool into your shirt. You fully remove your hands off him for the fourth time and he thinks he might crack. “Please no I’m sorry I’m sorry please please just let me,,” His words trail off as he watches you fully release him from his pants and boxers, his breath shaky as he watches you pool up your shirt and move to hover above him.

“Please please.” “Shut the fuck up.” He whimpers as his tip presses against your folds but you don’t him in enter yet, simply allowing his tip to be dragged up and down your slit. He throws his head back as the tears continue to flow down his face, he can’t take this, his hips rise up to try and thrust into you but you hold him down and spit at him. “You don’t know how to behave slut.”

He lets out a surprised gurgle of sounds when you suddenly slam all the way down onto him and lightly slap him across the face. “Are you happy now slut? You happy your little loser friend is fucking you stupid?”

He can barely speak as you begin to bounce up and down on him. He’s dreamed of this for much longer than he’d like to admit but this is much better than anything he could have imagined. The way your lightly let out sounds of delight are like music to his ears. He wishes he could say something but over the heat that flows over his body and the way he feels your hands slip under his shirt and begin to rub up and down his chest he can’t find the words.

He keeps his hands at his side, not knowing if he is allowed to touch you not wishing to upset you more than he already has. You notice the way his hands twitch and slightly raise as if he wants to reach out to you. You slow down for a moment to grab his hands and place them on your chest, a wordless exchange between the two of you as he stares at you in wonder. So much love fills his gaze you almost flush with embarrassment. You begin to pick up your pace once again as he fondles you over your clothes.

The pit grows larger in his stomach much faster than he would like but due to the overstimulation and the overflowing of emotions he’s on the edge. “I’m so close.”

“Hold it.” He whines and watches as one of your hands slip under your skirt, “You think you should be allowed to cum before me?” He shakes his head, of course not, he doesn’t deserve too.

He swears he almost cums from your blissed out face alone, but he is surprised he manages to contain himself until he feels you throb and your essence drips around him. You slowly lift off him and pump him until his cum drips down your hands.

The car windows are foggy, you have no clue how long you’ve been out here but the sun as begun to set as you allow yourself to fall against his chest, feeling the way his heart beats erratically as his arms come to wrap around you.

“I don’t forgive you,” He feels his heart drop as he gulps, bracing himself for you to lift off him and drop him off at his house, never to speak to him again. “But i think i can one day, you just have to take me out on a couple dates first.”

He grins.

Perm Jacaerys taglist

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @aegonswife @jacesvelaryons

[byjovewhataspend]

Putting on his best outfit to cheer himself up-- it's not really working :(

rambling thoughts about the new manga stuff below

It feels so WILDLY incorrect tonally for none of the villains to be saved. So many people told deku he couldnt save shigaraki and he pushed back against that-- but from any outside view shigaraki dying is the same as Deku killing him, i dont accept 'his ghost smiled so he was saved', afo shattered shigarakis mind the second Tomura's heart wavered and he died instantly (nana saved a little bit of his soul long enough for him to hang out and punch AFO, that had nothing to do with deku)

but the last thing he said before AFO killed him was 'i have to be the hero to the villains' and the last thing he said to deku was essentially 'tell spinner i did was i promised'

but before both of those points almost the entire league (sans compress) is already dead (spinner seems braindead? though the next chapter had people messing with what looked to be his scales so maybe someones working on helping him) so Deku cant tell them anything.

ANYWAYS my 5% hope here, a way to walk this shit back, is that Tomuras quirk 'which used to have a regeneration aspect' regenerated itself and Tomura comes back and Deku gets a second chance to save him for real this time, and then tomura uses the regeneration aspect of his quirk to fix all the rest of the league. he can return Spinner to his old self, and Dabi has GOT to be in that tank in front of Endeavor, right?

(What else in the world does Endeavor have to care about right now except for his family? none of them (or hawks, his only friend) needed a healing tank, so im guessing Dabis horrific husk is in some stasis goo with no hope , spinner is brainded/insane with no hope, toga is probably 'disappeared on the battle field' or maybe in a coma with no hope.. )

((honestly that tank, them not telling us yet if anyones dead (it would be weird to REVEAL people died who we thoughts died on screen a year ago) and the weirdly timed 'tomura couldve been able to regenerate but i removed that' a second before he died are the only reasons i have any hope. im not the hoping type. a series i was interested in ending badly has never been Taken Back before))

i dont know if That Person is Tomura (it didnt LOOK like him, not at all, honestly they looked like a woman to me, but who the fuck knows when they are doing Anime Crazy Face) but it feels like the only way to walk any of this back.

They put so much emotional stuff onto tomura and then gave him the worlds clearest 'he never had any choice to be this way' backstory EVER (even his BIRTH was arranged by AFO thats so fucked up, i wouldnt be shocked if he bought him the dog he killed too) that the ONLY doubt i had that Deku would save him was in that i wasn't sure how youd arrange to keep him out of prison for life. Id been guessing 'rewound to childhood to get a second chance at a better one' (not great but hey, it beats dead or tartaras and it matches that opening i liked) but hey, if hes Confirmed Dead and Deku finds someone Similiar To Him but with Fixing Powers and is liek 'hey everyone this is my brother Tenko my american dad just brought him over isnt that great?' id fucking take it

ALSO plucking Eris horn off so that she wasnt an option anymore like.. from a writing standpoint feels like it has to be FOR something.

Finally: deku looked SO depressed in the most recent chapter. he looked miserable. he hardly spoke a fucking word. considering how he acted about Eri i cant imagine hes the type to be like 'whelp, failed to save those people, i guess ill save a random different person in the final arc and thatll help me get over it'. truly i think if deku to failed to save tomura he'd spend the rest of his life not feeling like a real hero. especially when he checks to complete tomuras wish and spinner cant get his final words? and togas final words to deku was that she liked him and then he ran off and she died?? just. no. it feels so tragic and dark.

i do NOT believe horikoshi has that much creative control, honestly, i feel like if he had complete control he wouldnt kill tomura (since hes written a Tenko into like all his other stories and he loves him) but a small glimmer of hope is Dabi getting fuckign 4th place in the popularity results after he'd already become the most dead looking fucker i have ever seen. SURELY management knows hes popular and would be open to them being saved and redeemed just for BRANDING purposes, right?

PS: everyones been joking but he horikoshi SAID we'd see dekus FUCKING DAD. what possible purpose could that man serve when he wasnt even watching deku lose his arms on international tv?? if its as a cover for bringing tomura back ill fucking take it.

[ankiebitez]

Comfort

tags: amon x gn! reader (as far as i know), hurt/comfort kinda, implications of the mcs parents death, implications of amons parents death

note: not beta read, drabble i wrote last night bc i could sleep, probably ooc but oh well. mc is kind of just based on my own feelings so. wrote this bc amons my babygirl, posting bc there should be more for him

you were currently staying in the avisos palace for the next few days, courtesy to bael hoping to lure beelzebub back once again. despite being used as bait, bael was at least kind enough to give you your own room to stay in, though now it wasnt exactly being used.

you dont know what exactly it was, but you couldn't get your brain to shut off so you could rest. your brain was just too full of thoughts that you usually tried to suppress, but as much as you wish they'd dissappear they never seem to. instead deciding to haunt you late at night when there's nothing you can do to push them away.

after getting tired of your restlessness you decided to take a walk through the empty halls of the palace, hoping this would do to clear your mind so you could rest.

unfortunately your thoughts only seemed to echo in time with your footsteps, bouncing off the walls of your brain until it was too much to hold together anymore.

quietly you sat down by one of the windows, cracking it slightly to let the cool air hit your face that felt like it was burning up.

truly you didnt know why you were crying now of all times, you were in hell where tons of devils loved you, but you couldn't help but still feel lonely.

a hard painful lump was in your throat while you tried your best to keep quiet with your sobs and sniffles, not wanting to wake anyone. you wouldn't know how to explain why you're crying, there wasnt really a true reason, sometimes you just need it.

despite your attempts to keep quiet, the sound of foot steps came through the hall to the room you were in.

you quickly tried to wipe your face to hide any traces but there wasnt really a need as a blonde haired demon carefully entered the room.

"oh, its you... you're crying" amon thought aloud almost curiously. he had been on night patrol through the palace, making sure no one had snuck inside or if beelzebub had returned yet.

amon came closer to you by the window, a look of concern on his face. "is something wrong? are you hurt?" he asked, looking over you for any signs of physical harm.

you shook your head a bit embarrassed, though there was no hint of judgment in his eyes. "no im okay i was just having a hard time sleeping and all i guess... i dont even know why im crying its just... stuff from when i was younger and i just..." you trailed off, the painful lump in your throat and watery eyes returning.

you didn't need to finish your sentence though, amon had been told about your past already and he can understand without words how pain from years ago can still hurt just as deeply, how you can feel just as lonely.

"oh... I can keep you company if youd like" amon offered, sitting beside you and offering to hold you.

with a hesitant nod, you let amon pull you close to his chest, placing you on his lap and holding you tightly in his arms, feeling the tears continue to well up in your tired eyes despite the feeling of comfort he gave.

amon didnt let go or push you away, only holding you tighter and letting you cry into his chest as you needed.

he silently understood the way you felt, understanding the need to release pressure on these old feelings sometimes, and even though he cant make the lonely feeling dissappear, he promises to keep you company through them.

[cupoftaae]

Prompts 1 & 11 x Namjoon

""give me time, give us time" x "we're not just friends, and you fucking know it"

see prompt list here

for @ultimatenoona ! thanks for requesting and keeping me busy :) I wrote this on the train ride home from work

you asked me to pick between one and eleven, decided to merge them because why not

Enjoy!!

warnings- angst, swearing, sadness

you remember the night often, it was a new years eve party and all your friends were off somewhere either drunk, making out, high or depressed.

Where did you fall in the middle of all of that?

on the back balcony with your best friend Namjoon, who had just taken you off guard, kissing you when the clock had struck midnight.

you dragged him outside to speak privately

"Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I never meant to" he mumbled shyly, unable to look at you.

"you didnt, joon, I was just kinda shocked....I wasnt expecting it"

He nodded, his eyes stuck on the beer can in his grasp.

"Hoseok actually is the one who told me to do it" he snickered, making you smile

"oh yeah?"

"mm" he finally looked at you, hearing amusement in your voice. "He told me to man up and just confess already...which probably is something I should have done before...you know...kissing you"

You blushed harshly, making you reach out to grasp his hand, "I think you just did"

He giggled quietly and nodded, seeming embarrassed "yeah...guess I did"

You smiled at him softly

"I mean, can you blame me? you are so beautiful"

"joon" you giggled, covering your face

He stood up, looking down at you "all my friends doubted me whenever I told em about you" he began "they tried to brush off the closeness as just friendship....but"

You stood up, taking his hand and meeting his face closer

He whispered, cold breath hitting your skin "we're not just friends...and you fucking know it" he smirked

You nervously bit your lip, smiling

To be fair, this thing with him has been slowly burning for a while now, and so although you were shocked he made the move to kiss you, you weren't as surprised to hear that he had an infatuation with you.

You couldnt lie....you had developed feelings for your friend as well

"No.." you shook your head "I guess we aren't huh?"

the memory makes you smile, its something that provides a warm feeling every time it comes into your brain.

You wish that in this current moment however, things were similar to how you two bonded then...all those years ago.

Now, you were adults with responsibilities and work and family.

The both of you had been dating for almost 6 years now, moving in together, doing everything by each others side, you loved every second of it....but you also needed more.

Not from him, but from life itself.

You both werent worried about if you had a wedding or not, it wasnt a main priority for either of you despite your parents urges.

He worked a job 5 days a week, mostly gone from 7am, and getting home at midnight, all while you stayed home and tried to keep yourself busy.

You both had even tried to have a baby, but after months of no luck and a doctors appointment, you were told that it wouldnt be possible. It broke you, leaving you not want to leave home even more so, and of course it took a strain on your relationship.

He stayed out later, you never left that damn room unless it was to cook something for him that he wouldnt even end up appreciating.

You loved him, so fucking much, but you felt helpless as if nothing you did could or would fix the position you both had been in for quite some time. You wanted to live again, You wanted to go back to school and work and begin to experience life once more...but it was impossible to do here.

You both never spoke to eachother anymore, that is, until one night

"we cant keep doing this." you mumbled into the pillow, it had to have been around 4:30 am when he climbed into bed, he reeked of alcohol.

"what?" he was startled, looking over at your laying body, facing away from him.

Finally, you sat up with tears in your eyes, facing him

"honey...." he frowned and tried to hold your hand but you pulled back, "what is going on joon?" you whispered

"what do you mean? everything is fine"

"fine? this is the longest conversation we have had in weeks and you call this fine?" you sniffled, scoffing slightly as he sat against the headboard.

He wasnt sure what to say, so he shrugged

"im tired" you suddenly spoke again

"then...go to sleep sweetheart, im sorry i woke you-"

"no, im tired of this. tired of you pretending you care when you dont, because if you did you wouldnt fucking be coming home so late, you would fucking text me, you would fucking show me some appreciation once in a while, and you would at least fucking TALK TO ME!" you began to shout, standing out of the bed in frustration as warm tears fell off your cheeks.

His eyes widened, heart squeezing as he felt the wind knock out of him. Yes things were rough, but he didnt know it had been this bad.

"and yes..I know we have had a hard year, I know Namjoon, and Im sorry to put it all on you, but we are supposed to be a team, I love you and it feels like you stopped loving me back"

He stood to his feet quickly and made his way in front of you, "no- no no, Y/N, I-I love you so much, baby.." he held you, "why didnt you say anything earlier?"

"because you are never home!!!" you cried, pushing away

"im sorry...i dont blame you for anything, you didnt do anything wrong, the baby-"

"its more than that, I feel stuck here" you gestured between the both of you, anger filling your body.

He looked at you, pleading eyes

"I cant...I cant do it anymore" you exhale shakily

"no" he stepped closer, instantly falling to his knees in front of your legs. "baby...im sorry" he whispered, feeling tears prick his own eyes. "i'll do better, we can get better I promise, Whatever you want ill get you, we can get married, is that it? is that what you want? anything.... just please- dont leave me" he pressed his face against your thigh as you looked down at him

"I dont know what to say Namjoon" you cry, hand wiping your tears "I am over all of it"

He grasped your hand and looked up, "honey...please no no, im here, I will change we can do better" his eyes were wide, youve never seen him so vulnerable. "give me time, give us time....we- we can do it, yeah?"

You shrugged helplessly "we are gonna need to fix a lot more than you think...."

He nodded quick, "anything baby, anything, we will start as soon as we can....i cant do this without you" he pressed himself closer to you as you both cried, emotions on ice as the rooms tension and sadness infiltrated your hearts.

"dont leave...dont leave..." he whispered, repeating it to himself.

"....I wont"

[jjaysontodd]

Xyx x reader angst

prompt:  “i can’t do this anymore.“

word count: 1k

content warning: none 

angst to fluff ( i was gna make it pure angst but i rmbed how much i love this silly fellah)

You knew, you knew how much he hates clingy people. He hates it when people push him to open up. You knew that so well. 

So you never asked him to open up, you kept telling yourself “its fine i will wait for him”.

But it was always you talking, always you starting the conversation and him playing along with it. 

You were starting feel sick of hearing your own voice. How could anyone even like listening to me when i cant stand my own words? 

It was always the same topics, food, video games and what is the next big adventure. 

You look at xyx but you never see him.

He talks but never speaks.

He always manages to somehow make sure the mood is always upbeat, like sadness could never exist when he was around. 

You sat on his bed with your head hung sadly. You were starting to feel sick and tired of how everything is going. You wanted more of him but you were afraid you would push him away. When did it became a crime to show him how much you love him? Were you being clingy, annoying or even selfish? These thoughts circled around your brain. You kept trying your best to be the partner he wanted. But do you even know who you are anymore? 

As you were swamped with depressive thoughts, he walked in merrily. But stopped in his tracks when he saw you depressed. 

“doll, is everything alright?” He asked with concern.

You were so tired of eveything, and this was the type of tired that cannot be cured with a nap. You couldnt even open your mouth to reply, the gravity of your feelings weighed you more than you could imagine.

You managed say silent as a whisper “I can’t do this anymore”.

Xyx eyes widened in surprised and he asked again “What?” in a quiet voice.

You looked at him, feeling terrible so you redacted your statement.

“Sorry, it was nothing.” you say quickly, trying wipe the tiredness of your heart with your hands.

“No it wasnt nothing, you said you cant do this anymore! Are you breaking up with me?” He asked with a slow pain forming in his heart.

“Answer me! Did i do something wrong? What is it?” He asked unable to be wait for your reply.

“I love you xyx” you said quietly and he looked taken back and a little calmer.

“But you put a distance between us, it’s always there. Im holding your hands yet i can feel an invisible wall between us. You push me away and i know you do. Maybe you are not comfortable being open with me or you dont want to take this relationship serious. You want to keep it light hearted. But im tired because i feel like im clingy and selfish if i ask more of you. I want to love you more but i always fear my love is suffocating. I know i can be too much, sometimes i wish i can have distance from myself too” You reply with your eyes looking to the floor. This was terribly difficult for you to admit, your insecurities to the person you love the most. You wanted to show your good sides, the best version of yourself.

Upon hearing you speak, xyx felt heart shatter. Thunderstorms brewed in his head. How could he have let you feel this way? Did he say you were clingy? How could his lover think that their love was suffocating? If anything it felt like warm fire engulfing them in a cold night. He sat next you quietly and pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry, my love.” With that sentence alone was enough to set you into a sobbing mess. You hugged him back and held his shirt tightly. You didnt want him to leave, not ever.

“I tried- i tried so hard so you would keeping being in love me, but i dont even know who i am anymore” You say in between sobs. He looked into your eyes wiping your tears.

“There, there. I know, i know you try harder than anyone for me. Im sorry i left you feeling like you werent enough. That you think it would be clingy for you to ask me to talk more about myself or that you thought i was playing with you. I am so sorry, doll. I just wanted you to be happy when you were around me so i kept pushing off the more serious matters. I didnt want you to feel sad about my past.  I love you enough to be vulnerable with you. I love you more than that too. It was a terrible habit of mine and it made you feel inadequate. I am sorry.” He said sincerly.

“Tell me if you had a bad day, ask me to be there for you. Dont take it all on your own. I dont care if your ‘ruining the moment’ or whatever. If you are sad, i want to know. I feel terrible knowing i was happy when you werent. I want to be there for you” You say with the words getting all choked up in your throat.

“I know, i know doll. I’m sorry, I’ll do better from now. But i could tell you the same thing, please dont try to be perfect for me. You can show me who you are and i will still love you. Love is a choice and i would choose you a million times, no wait a trillion? what was the largest number again? zillionth times.” He says with a chuckle. His joke earned a smile from you.

“What I’m trying to say is, if you want more of me, i will give you more. But you should give me more of you too. I want you to tell me before you get tired like this, okay doll?” He says quietly, looking into your eyes with adoration and warmth.

“Yes” You say before falling into his chest and hugging him back. He thinks you’re adorable when you shy away from his eyes.

[rianafying]

still here doing my assignment and journaling

maybe the reason i'm avoiding my home is because it represents all the tasks i fail at, and all the things i could lose, that aren't even that great to begin with. like it's an okay apartment at best if im being honest. and i cant find my passport that i need to look for, and my myki card, and what else, im taking a timelapse rn, i was watching a movie that i paused to do this journal entry, if i had some food to eat, i'd never leave this place, im really happy here, doing nothing, maybe what i want to do is nothing. maybe we all work hard so we can rest. how ironic is that? life. what about it? have i ever had a thought truly worth sharing? is that even what matters? shareability? originality? but it feels good to be valued. to be enough. but is it enough just to be enough in the eyes of others? is it enough to be enough in one's own eyes? what is enough to keep on going? i haven't had water in many many hours. i think i am seriously mentally ill. and i have these obsessions. and it's just moments before everyone finds out what a monster i truly am and punishes me for it. it's all i was born for, to be punished and then to be punished some more, for a crime i didn't commit, or for not knowing what crime im committing, it's just such a chore, to keep on living. but hank does it, and so does john, and they have siblings and spouses and kids to live for. i don't and i don't want to either, i want to leave guilt free. free to go anytime i want. i am free to go, im always free to go yet here i am. why. why is everyone still here? they're better people than i am. they're more appreciative of life, more grateful for things than i can ever even try to be. even with my active gratefulness meditaions, most people are better people than i am. because they are better to themselves. i try to be my kindest. things are so complicated, all these letters im tryping into a magic box as i sit in an air conditioned room thousands of feet above ground, looking over at the sprawling metropolis that is melbourne cbd. i create content, i turn it in, i go home, i thrift. what for? make it make sense. make it meaningful. or make it stop. my butt hurts a little from sitting in the same spot for hours. i really hope the light doesn't come back on. it's far too bright and i hate it. i feel like everything's so compkicated. i have to think about how im probably damaging my eye and health by looking at my screen in the dark and not having eaten in 2 days. i feel like we're all collectively moving towards surviving in a perfect equilibrium to the point where any minor inconvenience is enough to send us spiraling on a tangent. people used to hunt and gather before. therewas no stability. all i know now is fear of losing stability. it's all about moderation. about towing the line. not enough and too much. at the same time. i wish someone would love me in a way i understand, in a way that i could love them back. love has no meaning and no place in my life anymore. maybe i need to have one of those moments again, the kind that makes it all worth it. and to remember that. nothing lasts forever.

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

tw vent

idek. i hate having to get up in the mornings and having to go out and be okay and im hurting inside all the time and im used to bottling it up except im not sure how good i do that and i just have the hurt and the everything stuck inside me and it really makes me want to die everything is the same and i really. dont think theres anything worth staying for anymore. there is nothing i want more than to die and disintegrate into ashes and dust and fly to sunlit forests until the wind sweeps me somewhere else again. im still telling myself, i have a future, what about our childhood dreams, what about moving out, what about giving my kids the childhood they deserve, what about living a better life and getting better for myself, what about being a psychiatrist and helping people, what about living with my friends, what about the things ill never get to do. but i really dont know if thats enough. i dont even know if hes enough to make me stay anymore. where did i go wrong? how did i go from young and naive and loving everyone and everything in my own little world to this? destroying myself with everything i do and constantly wanting to die? life is so underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time and im worried about everyone. like these 2 people are dealing with everything but i just want them to be okay. they dont deserve the hurt and negative feelings and i wish i could take it away or they could at least give it to me because theyre the best thing to ever happen to me and i really love them but theyre dealing with stuff too and i check in and do what i can but i dont think im good enough to be there for them. they have other friends and other closer friends i feel like but sometimes they vent or tell me about their problems and i wish i could make it all better. they deserve the world and i love them so much theyve both been through a lot and i just love these 2 people so so so much they mean so much to me except i dont know how to show it and i dont want them to think im being weird or anything i dont want to talk to someone about it because i feel so stupid when they comment on it and i feel like im being attention seeking and i just hate it and i hate how i even need to vent because why cant i be okay i didnt want this i feel so much hurt sometimes i dont even know why and its so much that it turns physical and into a pain in my chest and i feel like my heart is being clawed out and someone is squeezing my lungs and dicing it up into little pieces and some of them call it love and others are just like that and i feel like a puppet sometimes and i feel really fucking dead sometimes and i cant do anything well or at all and i feel so replaceable sometimes because there could be someone better because i feel like everyone hates me sometimes and i want to be better except i cant because this is the way i am and i really hate it because why cant i be perfect and good and be there for my friends and not mess up the relationships i have and maybe i wouldnt be left out all the time and maybe i would be the friend that walks with the other friends on the sidewalk and maybe i would be the friend that they tell their secrets to and maybe i would be the friend that makes their life at least a little better and maybe i would be the friend they trust with their life and maybe we would have that connection and i want it so badly but whenever i try it just doesnt work and i am so tired im so tired of life i dont know where i went wrong and i just want to go so bad and never come back but whos going to be the one taking everything that he throws at us so my siblings wont have to grow up with the trauma and end up how i did and who would be the one to check in on them because no one else will and who will be the one who teaches my sister that its okay to love and not be okay and who will teach both of my siblings that love is okay and being yourself is okay and who will be the one who is there for him when he needs it and i just sfkghj

[compassionatereminders]

hi, i hope its okay if i vent here cause i know shits been rough for you lately (wishing you the best btw, which ik simply saying that doesnt magically make things better but hope yk what i mean)

i sent an asks a few months ago about having empathy for someone for the first time and really struggling to come to terms with it, how to deal with new overwhelming emotions and the like (i believe i also mentioned them being in an abusive situation at the time, which was a whole other complicated feeling to empathize with someones pain and to take it internally on levels i had never experienced or was capable of fathoming before in my entire life)

currently struggling with that person again, they left their original abusive situation but have entered a new complex one, as this person isnt intentionally shitty but they're rich, white passing and extremely privileged and out of touch, like truly they don't grasp my friends trauma and why it makes things hard for them (friend has gone through severe abuse and childhood trauma, neglect and homelessness just to say the light ones, its truly awful what they've been through) despite having some trauma of their own and i truly fucking despise them with my entire being

my friend is abusing alcohol and debating killing themselves due to this person dangling ending their relationship over my friends head --- (which is another thing thats complex and hurting, my friend never told me they were dating which like they totally dont have to obviously!! but they continuously insisted to me they were only friends, before suddenly revealing through a screenshot of their partners text that they were together, which they did with their previous abuser so like having it happen twice was icky feeling for some reason despite the fact ik they don't owe me that information at all, i dont care they hid it i just feel hurt and confused if i had done something to warrant not being trusted with that information but thats a whole other can of worms) --- due to them struggling to do something the person wants, because my friend has trauma what the person is requesting is hard and my friends explained why its hard and hurts them, they've thrown up daily from the stress and this person knows that but somehow doesnt grasp why its causing my friend such distress

i feel utterly suffocated by the entire situation and its put my life on full stop because i cant just leave my friend to deal with this themselves, but theres nothing i can say or do that can help them because they're deeply in love and won't break up with their partner even though the stress is physically ruining them. i feel hopeless and unable to do anything, i encourage them to talk to me because really i wanna be there for them but i feel so scared all the time that somethings gonna happen to them which makes me need to listen even more because their other friend is horribly abusive and contributed to their trauma, so i don't wanna leave my friend alone. i don't know how to deal with empathizing with their pain and not being able to stop it feels like its killing me cause now im also throwing up multiple times a day, genuinely debating drug relapse to cope with it all and i can't sleep properly anymore and only sleep on specific 4 hour intervals throughout the day next to my phone so i can be on constant standby for the friend and i know its not healthy and if they knew it was like this they'd never tell me whats wrong again (which i really dont want i truly honest to god wanna be there for them), i feel like no matter how i go about it theres no winning in this situation and honestly i wanna die from it all which sounds so silly cause my friend is going through SO much worse and here i am going waaah this hurts me!! i just eugh, i don't know what to do. which i guess i know what to do, but i don't wanna do any of it i've never cared about someone like i care about them and the thought of leaving them to sort it out themselves feels like the end of the world, even though i know they're also a sociopath and don't feel empathy towards me which is also a new shitty feeling cause now i know how people feel around me. this is exhausting i don't know how people with empathy deal with it especially you kat!! if i remember correctly you mentioned being very empathetic, it's amazing you're able to handle having empathy and running a blog where people often dump stuff in your inbox (which uh is the very same thing im doing now, sorry!) ok i got it all out of my system i'm gonna go take a nap and hope the problem is solved tomorrow (it wont be but a bitch can hope!!) thank you for being a space where i could word vomit my brain out, i really hope things get better for you and that your eye gets sorted out <3

No matter how unwell your friend is, you're allowed to have boundaries and limits. And while I get the desire to be there and do everything you can because you care about your friend, you will not be able to continue pouring from an empty vessel. This is not a sustainable situation. You neglecting yourself and not sleeping and getting physically ill and wanting to die is not an acceptable consequence of your friend being in a toxic relationship without being able to change their situation. I know you didn't ask for advice, but I strongly encourage you to establish some boundaries here and stand by them. You do not lose your right to have boundaries when a loved one is mentally unwell and if you do not prioritize your own mental well-being, you will not be able to continue being there for you friend

[astro-naut9]

I know nothing about your OCs, so consider this a request for any infodumps about any characters you feel like talking about.

Educate me about your lil' guys.

OH BROOOTHHERRRR OK SO !!! PREPARE TO READ VERY CONFUSING STUFF !! and trigger warnings for mentions of self-sabotaging and anything related to it.

this is Francis Wry !!

They're 16 and they use he/she/they pronouns! Their identity is loosely based off of me but so are my other characters tbh. ANYWAY!! He's a very chaotic person but also very caring towards his friends (alex)! They love destruction and they also love peace, which makes his morals questionable. Francis will do anything for his wants, as long as it doesn't affect his friends at all. He will go through lengths for it (will include self sacrifices and world destruction). BUT!! overall, he's not too complicated to understand. jsut that friends > others

ANYWAY !! story time

Francis, was legally named Vanessa, was born in a poor family of three (including him). She spent her time ltierally working for her family. anyway, no, she did not live with peace when she was with her family. BUT, she did find a friend, Neil, when they were both 7 years old and then they grew up together cuz their family is friends with each other and they have the same hobbies. (unfortunately i dont have pics of them tgt) however, this did not cure francis' depression (she didnt know she had it), so yeah !! anyway, long story short she unalived herself by jumping off a building BUT GUESS WHAT !!!! SHE DIED, BUT SHE GOT REVIVED !! TO ANOTHER WOOOORRLLLDDD !!!

with that process, lets go to the revival thingy first.

in order for people to be revived, alien scientists grab their wandering souls in their planet and bring them outside the universe (to the multiverse) where a rogue sun and planet travel. The souls are then magically revived by a god who the alien scientists had held hostage (the god does not mind the reviving too much, however, he wishes for them to treat him kinder). ANYWAY, the aliens then take dna from the deceased bodies and put it in a cloning machine.

no, the scientists does not care who they revive. it is for the sake of experiment.

so, that implies Francis was taken as an experiment :3

niszen is the scientist in charge of him. they have some sort of sibling bond as the scientists are tasked to act very kind to the subjects as a manipulation tactic, so their relationship is either genuine or just a hoax. Anyway, you could tell what francis went thru with the experiments as it had always been painful and exhausting. then one day he couldnt take it anymore and js went batshit crazy. with the mix of other dnas mixed in his blood, his strength and abilities were a bit crazy. with that, francis escaped from his cell and went to the fuel room. he grabbed jugs of gasoline and poured it eevrywhere he went. the aliens had a room filled with stuffs that are alien to them which was where he found the match box. this then led to him burning down the laboratory, causing it to explode yada yada. (there are details i didnt include because it will take this very long)

then he proceeded to live in the wild. since the planet, Astrylis, was made for the preference of different species, the woods was js like the woods from the Earth. anyway, he lived there for like 2 weeks until a grandma saw him and then helped him with ways and stuff. then he was exposed to the outside world after 4 months of in denial.

then he met uhh Alex!!

alex was 14 when they were 13 !! then they uh became best friends for 4 years (present time, which is 6036). anyway, i actually have no more to add unless im asked about specific things auuughgh but

anyways here are some of the uhh arts w them :33

i have more ocs but,, idrk,, i cant seem to describe some stuff without the questions beign specific for some reason??? but hey i hope i did give u a little about my guy here !!

[charmanderxerneas]

yeah saying this again: pokemon fans piss me off. they hate the newer games when guess what: they are pretty much exactly the same (if not better) than the older games story and character wise. If anything the games re getting better with more gameplay, bigger worlds, technology is just generally getting more advanced.

youre just not ten years old anymore and youre jaded hypercritical adults. Trust me i’ve literally played all the games (except for the black and white sequels. and platnium. but ive played black and diamond so :/) i have experience with pretty much all the games and i can say for certain: its all just pokemon. and i love the older games as much as the next guy (Johto is SO nostalgic! Sinnoh is beautiful and one of my favorite regions, the older generations are beautiful and so fun and rich with stuff to enjoy)

but honestly the story and gameplay has only gotten better if youd give it a chance. i was hesitant to play swsh because i had heard bad things about it: but its a really good game with wonderful characters! and scarlet and violet is also fucking amazing with the different storylines, the beautiful new models and textures, the new gameplay and freedom to do what you want in this new world, the music, the ending which blew me away: Its all great. Legends arceus is the best pokemon game they ever made fight me.

People complain about “bugs and glitches” that are very rare and do not hardly ever interfere with gameplay. people complain about the graphics or animations like “its not realistic enough, i wish it was better or more” sorry to break it to you: The graphics are fine, not everything needs to be super realistic (cartoony styles are good actually). I never even understood that complaint because ESPECIALLY in scarlet and violet when weve FINALLY got brand new models with NEW TEXTURES and stuff: The graphics look better than they ever have! and the animation complaint is fucking stupid, it is literally on par with (and id argue better than) games like black and white and yall seem to love that game. the pokemon move all the time and have unique animations, and even the way your character stands, their idle animations when they shivers in the cold, looks around with wonder in their eyes: im sorry its way better than it was before and i just. cant take that shit seriously

im sorry for being mean i just. it pisses me off so bad. the only reason you like the older games more is because you were a baby then. and theres nothing wrong with liking the older games, but the newer games are not as bad as you make them out to be.

[ella-ashmore]

Ok. first off, that sounds amazing and I’ll watch it soon. Second, what do the choirs songs sound like? They all break into song and dance, so what’s the vibe and theme of their songs :)

oceans is kind of similar to sugar cloud !! very bubbly and upbeat, high energy, mostly talking about how meaningful constance is to her. how happy she is to have her in her life and the choir. it gets mildly dark at the end but im not sure what those lyrics would entail. probably something about not feeling as if either of them are truly happy at all. ocean kisses constance, infecting her in the process. definitely not the worst way to go but she still ends up in the hivemind so, not the best either (the intent of the kiss was to infect but ocean just wanted to kiss her i think)

noels would be very somber. not very similar to noels lament but kind of the same genre yk?? he would sing of his tragedy and how he never felt as if he fit in here in uranium. but now he does! now that he's one with the others, he feels so welcome and loved, wouldnt you want to be one with them too? he sings of heartbreak, and longing, and how maybe the real tragedy of his life was living in uranium, not becoming infected

i think constance would get a song with ocean and noel as vocal backup (what gets the remaining three to figure out something is deeply wrong if they hadnt already encountered infected before finding these three). its also a bit similar to noels lament in genre, talking about how shes so much more than the nicest girl in town, theres so much more to her than that shallow image everyone else has given her. its about her wants, her desires, her dreams, just.... herself. ofc, there is a bit at the end where she acknowledges that theres nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town. she deserves to figure that out

ricky gets to sing about zolar i cant take that away from him. however, he also sings about how he felt kind of... discarded maybe? because of his disabilities and the ableist way hes been treated throughout his life (ocean infantilizing him, etc etc etc). he wont be treated as something other than normal anymore, the hivemind will make sure of that, wont you please join us?

its a few hours before mischa is infected. he and penny think theyre safe, locked away somewhere secure, somewhere theyre sure the infection cant reach them. they dont know how it happened, the door is blocked, they can hear the people they once knew as neighbors behind it, clamoring to be let in, shouting and screaming and banging on the one barrier keeping them apart. but... somehow, a few got in. a woman dressed in a wedding gown, flanked by ocean and constance. she sings of a love he can still have. she sings of his yearning for talia, and how the hivemind can bring them together. how he can hold the love of his life in his arms. hes so tired. he gives in, allowing them to infect him, much to pennys horror, and takes lead of the song. he sings so desperately for his beloved, he sings of his longing, the pain in his chest when he thinks of the distance between them. he sings of the anger he feels at that separation. he sings of how he wishes, with all of his heart, to be united with her for eternity.

penny doesnt get a song of her own. shes backed into a corner by mischa and the others. she can see the pain in his eyes as he infects her without showing any mercy. finally, all of uranium is one. finally.

[mikadollie]

tatsumi ... (o´∀`o) i want him 2 be a (read; MY) father soooooo bad! he would b so good w children n he wants them 2 be good for him (≧▽≦) i loev papa (dilf) tatsu!!!! putting random emojis bc the ask isnt colorful as i wanted ..

btw hes on his 20s or 30s, OR MAYBE EVEN OLDER whatever u think its better :3

/// 🗯 trigger warnings & content warnings, this has mentions of ; non-con ( 99% of my asks r gonna have ncon btw) ,, (a bit of...??) plushophilia, big age gap, slight dacryphilia, (implied?) grooming (i guess??), somnophilia (kinda), emetophilia (i sneaked in vomit in my ask again :3 only a little bit), use of aphrodisiacs/drugs ???? I DONT KNWO HOW 2 TAG THIBGS I JUST SAY WHATEVER POPS UP IN MY MIND!!!!!!!!!

papa tatsu .. do u ever think abt when tatsumi said somrthing with Uhhhhh if alkaloid is a family ,, he wanted mayoi 2 take the role of a mother & wanted 2 be the father? :3 i dont remember well but !!! what if he rlly had a child ,, adopted or not ?? i think he would b such a great dad ( ´ ω ` ) well, he would seem a great dad at first, but im sure his child knows his true self ^_^ tatsumi tries to control himself, he really tries! what can he do at seeing such a easy prey? :( his child calls his name so happily that he cant help but feel guilt. he should be someone for his child to look up at, his urges just are stronger, okay? tatsumi, if hes still married with his wife (straight couple??? eww!!!), he would do his best to keep his child‘s little mouth shut (＠＾◡＾) hes just so kind to help his child to take a bath, isnt he? two fingers would b currently inside his child‘s mouth to muffle their cries and whines, while his other hand is fingering their hole/pussy, he swears hes gonna properly clean them up after with a warm bath. he doesnt wants to see his child crying anymore, even if it fuels his arousal, he just washes his child‘s hair & gently scratches their scalp as if nothing happened, he lets the water wash off his sins of his own child‘s body. tatsumi would b so good w manipulation i swear!! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ tatsu would say 2 his child that papa would be upset if they said anything 2 their mama ,, of course his child would not want to upset him, right? he would grant all of his child‘s wishes, like he wants to grant his wishes with his child‘s body. papa tatsu would not b able to b too rough with his child or degrade them !!!! :3 he may be fast, but hes trying to soothe his child‘s cries and hiccups while their tight little hole/cunt clings around his cock (* ^ ω ^) depending on his child‘s age & sex assigned at birth, he would pop a boner so easily at seeing their body change. i mean!!!! im exaggerating a bit bc... tatsumi pls youre better than this BUT. put tatsumi & his child whose body is developing with shorts / short skirts in a room, one is getting out flooded with cum and it isnt tatsumi. he would focus on his pleasure and at the same time would focus on his child‘s well-being (´･ᴗ･ ` ) if theyre gagging and choking around his dick, its fine. they‘ll learn soon, its fine! theyre growing up and thats what grownups do, his child just need to be a little mature, tatsumi isnt doing anything wrong. if they throw up, it will be fine. he‘ll clean it, he just needs to cum again, alright?

ok adding more things here .. wgat if tatsumi‘s wife died & there is only his daughter n him left, so he sees his daughter as his wife?!?!?! i dont see rough sex & tatsumi being on the same sentencw but he would be gentle or a BEAST. going back 2 previous topic, papa tatsu would love everything related 2 u!! in any way!!!! did u see that guy who made a fursona costume (??i forgor the word) of all the plushies he came on? that would b tatsumi. talking abt single dad tatsu, it would b so boring w/o his child with him! eventually he would need something that makes him remember of his child 2 have any kind of pleasure, he cant cum if hes thinking abt another thing :( his child wouldnt mind if he stayed a bit at their room, right? after all, hes the owner of the house, he can do anything ^_^ his child wouldnt mind if he spent his time hugging one of their plushies, its not a big deal. papa tatsu just loooooooves anything related 2 their child! he would certainly jerk off on his child‘s bed n cum on their plushies, only a way 2 show his love ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝ his child would b confused when they come back from school n see their papa washing their plushies.. it was perfectly clean! well, they arent going 2 deny any kind of affection (?). he would love to spoil his child with affection, just making them sit on his lap and spoonfeed them. those little moments r everything 2 tatsumi, specifically after he managed 2 put aphrodisiacs into the food (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ he can see the wet patch / small bulge on their clothes after, he thinks its sooo cute 2 see his child so needy like that. depending on his child‘s age (again. btw i use child but it can be five or less years old, more than ten, a pre teenager or teen etc!!!) ,, he knew he would have 2 talk abt this one day ,, and he probably was too much excited 2 have this kind of talk. he would explain to their child that its okay and that this is the progress of growing up + their body developing, its totally normal! he would b more than happy 2 introduce his child 2 lewd stuff, n im sure he has sex toys somewhere hidden in the house!! o(>ω<)o making his child use a small vibrator that was hidden (somewhere...) just 2 see how they react, even if their reaction is negative and they keep insisting its weird + that they dont like it, tatsumi would gently shush them & say that its 4 them own good, that they would do this eventually.

papa tatsu who would not b afraid 2 fuck his child multiple times!!! he just loves hearing their cries while he fucks them into their bed, the bed that once was a comfortable place to their child. he would even let his child hug a plushie while hes fucking them 2 comfort them, their face shoved on their plushie while they lay on their stomach. tatsumi would b so happy 2 see his child‘s belly getting a bit round of how much cum theres inside them \(^ヮ^)/ he would finger back anything that came out, his seed cannot be wasted!! or just seeing the outline of his cock on his child‘s stomach :3 papa tatsu has a lot of ideas!!! (also. what kind of drugs do u think tatsumi would give 2 his child? ^_^) he would not hesitate 2 drug his child just to see them in a lil state of daze & not try to resist their papa‘s intentions \(^ヮ^)/ if their mama is not dead or papa tatsu isnt a single dilf, papa tatsu would sneak out of his bedroom 2 go to his child‘s bedroom!! he would do anything 2 not wake up his child, and if he did, he would put a hand over their mouth to keep them quiet. he just wants his child to get a good night sleep while hes with his cock inside them ☆ ～('▽^人) cockwarming papa tatsu while youre asleep...

i have more things 2 say also!!!!! pleese share your thoughts abt papa tatsu :33

— 🍮 anon!!!!! (^_^) in this ask ,, i would talk abt shu being a weird creepy girl but .. i got other ideas!!!!!!!!

> pleese share your thoughts abt papa tatsu :33: Hnmmfghhg.............🤤

awaa papa tatsu and his child taking a bath... his cock inbetween their thighs and he's massaging along their waist....(*´꒳`*) he's just so sweet and nice even though his cock is splitting them in half and making them whine loudly!! I think he would also steal his childs clothes a lot to jerk off with..... sometimes he likes watching them hump their pillows when he peaks in at night before taking his child for himself... tatsumi shoving his fingers into their mouth to keep them quiet and saying to not wake mama up....

Tatsumi making his child put their panties back on/a plug in them to keep all that cum in and slowly have it drip out down their leg hehe... I wanna say he would give molly to his child but thats just me being biased. He would crush up some valiums (or oxys depends on the day) and slip it in the food to see his kid all wobbly and unable to resist anything he does!!!

[roseworth]

17, 18, 20, 21 :]

choose violence ask game

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

answered here but ill say something else too hehe

i wish there were more jason fics in the post-utrh pre-52 era where hes actually like. in character. so many act like its in that era but then still have him working with the batfamily and being in contact with them and <////3 that era is so much fun and comics didnt do a lot in it before morrison happened and there arent a lot of fics that do anything interesting with it 😔 where are the fics that use the "got real good with guns to piss off the old boss" & "just another bit of dirt in the sewers" dynamic. i am STARVED of bruce crying and throwing up saying he doesnt care that jason is alive and fighting him.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

also answered here but i still have more to say

been trying so hard to not give obvious answers to these questions but i cant take it anymore i have to talk about lorena

everyone is sleeping on sub diego & lorena in general. i get it bc it happened like 20 years ago and i dont think its not even canon anymore but that doesnt mean im happy about it </3 my girl is criminally underrated she is my sweet little angel that refuses to process trauma <3 if it were up to me she would appear in comics again and everyone would love her because shes the best and i need someone else to latch onto her

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

another obvious answer but god. every issue of rhato 2016 after #25 was a fucking chore to get through. like idk how lobdell managed to make the first 24 issues readable but whatever happened he absolutely lost it after #25. i read it bc i wanted to know what jason was up to and i still refuse to read rhato 2011 but holy fuck. reading it felt like i was dragging myself over broken glass. they dont even try to do anything interesting AND dexter soy is gone so there arent any redeemable qualities

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

well while im on the subject of rhato 2016. i feel like i constantly hear people say that the last two issues (that werent written by lobdell) are really good and tbh. i thought they were alright ig? but nothing special. maybe people were just happy to have some jason that wasnt written by lobdell, or maybe it was just bc when i read it i read it after reading the rest of the run and i was just happy to be getting it over with. but i just dont remember it being that interesting! it was fine i didnt dislike it but. i see it on recommended jason reading lists sometimes and ?? like sure ig but it wasnt THAT good

[caluski]

ive made myself hot chocolate wine. hot wine chocolate maybe. its mostly hot chocolate and some wine... i only added a little because i havent made hot wine in a long time now, i was worried id evaporate the alcohol and make it gross. but it turned out fine and its good, maybe next time ill make some with spices. maybe replace oat milk with some other one... i think cashew might be good, maybe if i spot it on sale somewhere. with cinnamon maybe, with slices of orange? orange matches both chocolate and wine, why wouldn't it work with both at the same time. i wish i could spend an hour or so in the kitchen, making different infusions that i could try with someone else. its always so much more fun to try new things with another person.

i dont really mind drinking alone, since i already usually do it while watching something or writing. but i do really really miss drinking coffee or tea with other people. i miss talking to people so very very much. i talk so much.. if one somehow hasnt figured it out yet from the absolute fucking abundance of long posts on my blog, but i really do love talking. my big problem is that i talk so much, that my hot drinks cool down before i get to take a sip or two. im really horrible at keeping that balance between being caught up with the conversation and drinking. although i never really have much to say, i keep repeating the stories ive already told a million times before, and i say silly stuff, and i complain about a lot of things, and i get sidetracked constantly. not really in like, adorable or quirky way, i can imagine it must be annoying for the other people in the conversation, especially when i get too excited and interrupt people and dont listen very well. i think its one of those things i wanna improve about myself.

yesterday, as i was walking home through the centre of the city, i was horribly in need of coffee, it was so cold and i was in a good mood, and i only had weak green tea that morning, and since it was still pretty early in the day, the cafes had some free spots. but i walked in, looked around, and walked out. its like everything reminds me of loneliness these days, and when i got inside, tables were all taken by couples or groups. i dont think it was a sign of anything, but it made me so awfully bitter. i know loneliness doesnt make me special, i know literally everyone experiences it to some degree, but god, it really hurts to look around and see that despite everything, people always have someone out there. a best friend, a significant other, family member, whatever.

theres that stupid thing everyone always repeats, "theres always someone out there who loves you, even if you dont know about it". i used to hold onto that desperately, but its so dumb. unrealistic and dumb. it makes you hope that maybe right now youre alone, but once you'll be at your rock bottom, SOMEONE will magically show up and say, i care for you, and i will be by your side to support you, or whatever. but then you hit the rock bottom and theres nothing, or better yet, someone you had hoped would stay with you suddenly says "i have anxiety and seasonal affective disorder, i cant be around you or ill get worse, too", and you dont want them to get worse because of you, of course you dont. theyre being reasonable, and you know that, and you cant do anything about it. even if you do guilt-trip them into staying, would that even really help, if they resented you for it secretly for the rest of their life.

a week ago or so ive walked into a cafe, as well, but i got so overwhelmed that i had to pretend to look around which tables are free, and left right away. just brought in mud and puddles, probably, since it was such a snowy day. i worry that one day ill be better, but i wont be able to step foot inside a cafe anymore, because it will remind me of nothing but the days when it was just me and self-loathing. not that i can really afford cafes anymore, but i cant think about that now. or worse, that ill never get better, and ill never get to experience it again, the presence of another person by my side, having coffee or tea or desserts, and talking and laughing and maybe even flirting. that thought makes me nauseous, but i know its likely. it kind of sounds like not much to wish for, but it feels almost too perfect to ever be possible - not only to have money for that in the first place, but also a person who cares for you enough to want to be around you, to want to talk to you or listen to you, a person who wont tell you "we can go out, but i have only an hour" and then leave after 20 minutes because it turns out in that hour was included their ride back home.

i keep thinking, one day ill find someone, one day i wont be lonely anymore and then ill let it all out of my system. but i know its silly, because by the time ill find someone, ill forget how to really be a person, how to have a conversation. i talk to myself a lot, in my head, but its not enough, it doesnt really feel like anything. i write a diary, i write short stories, i write posts on this stupid blog, but nothing feels like talking to another person, and its awful. my memory is far worse, i stutter more and more with each passing year, im being more and more awkward in such an uncomfortable and humiliating way, that it only makes my brain scream at me to shut up forever. i know why my family doesnt want to talk to me, im more unpleasant than ive ever been. i know its unfair to be blaming them for not wanting me around; they stopped asking about anything, recently, because i cant stop crying whenever they start the topic of job search. i cry too much these days. i had to stop showing up to my favorite grocery store, because theyve seen me too many times all wet-eyed. and i cant help it anymore! i know im still human, i know im not a victim, i know my suffering isnt greater than anyone else's. but something has changed and i cant imagine getting better, anymore. or at least going back to who i used to be. theres no hope anymore! and if theres no hope for me anymore, what do i do? "just surviving" isnt neutral, its horrible, its painful, its a nightmare. i dont want my life to look like this. i dont know what to do anymore. and ive said it a thousand times, i know, but its the only thing i have floating around in my useless empty head. i miss hope. i miss believing that i could still be happy, one day. and i know that was stupid, too, i can see it now, but at least it was something to hold onto.

i miss being around people. i miss it so much. i miss talking to people so horribly. i miss laughing and i miss being held. i dont need all this cortisol. i dont want to forget what it feels like to not be alone. but the more i want it, the more out of reach everything feels, the more unrealistic even the simplest things seem. i might as well be dreaming of living in alternate universe fanfiction.

[wioaase]

guess who drank again?

its me. i thought altered states of consciousness were supposed to unlock more creativity but i got nothing lmao. anyways i wanted to write something? not proofread cuz i cant think rn <3

i wanna write something kinda hard but i feel like all im capable of is soft? yn tired of being mistreated and gives up on relationships all together and the boys try to make them feel better / take them out to prove that relationships (specifically with them) would be worth something?

chan

hates seeing you upset like this

completely understands

doesnt want you to give up completely

takes you out to dinner as just friends

you go back to your place for a movie afterwards

he tells you that you deserve better

that the nice dinner you had together is what you should expect from a partner

what he'd do for you

you think his confession / admittance to this is kinda silly until you see hes serious

"please yn. let me show you"

how could you say no to your best friend?

acts like a bf for the rest of the night

ends with yall either falling asleep together or "falling asleep" together

miniho

makes fun of you until he realizes youre actually upset

then feels kinda bad about it

agrees that relationships are kinda dogshit

because both of you have come to the same conclusion you spend more time together

during this time he realizes he may have been wrong

doesnt know how to bring up that hes changed his mind about relationships / is scared of ruining the bond youve made so far

stays quiet for a while until you make a comment about wishing dating could be as easy as it was hanging out with him

mindlessly states that you could just date him and itd be easier for both of you

doesnt register as a serious statement until you see him kinda flustered

you give it a rest for a day before asking him about it

doesnt want to pressure you into anything, tells you youll still be best friends regardless of his comment

shut him up by kissing him

surely you can try relationships one more time

changbin

absolute princess

would do the most after you get rejected / decide that other people arent worth your energy

easily buys you ice cream / is always able to clear his schedule whenever youre having a bad day and really need him

would never admit to crushing on you

lets you hang out at the studio when you dont want to be alone but have no where else to be

admires your company

doesnt realize his feelings until you continuously complain about none of your dates working out and all the people you see being shitty

jealous binnie

during one of your visits to the studio its just him and theres a bouquet of flowers in a vase you dont think too much of

he cant take you not saying anything / asking about it anymore

shyly begs you not to go on any more bad dates with people you meet through apps and to let him take you out just once

you take him up on his offer thinking hes just being a good friend

isnt until the end of the night you realize that he means more than friendship

butterflies butterflies butterflies for both of you

maybe ends in hand holding walking you home and maybe maybe maybe a kiss on the cheek as he drops you off

thinks about this night while laying in bed and kicking his feet / blushing

hyunjin

doesnt understand how you could give up on love?

love is everywhere

how dont you see it?

makes an effort to point out the nonromantic examples of love whenever youre together

you more or less roll your eyes because he knows what you really meant

he knows too but doesnt know how to show you without directly asking you to give him a chance

during one of your hangouts you make another joke about being alone forever

he hates seeing you hurting and cant do it anymore

cups your face in his hands

"please"

he almost looks like crying

you dont understand why but you make an effort to try and be more positive about relationships in your life

seeing you smile at an older couple as they go about their daily routine has him thinking about what life would look like if you two were together

thinks its a phase and tries to get over it but starts to paint you (oops)

eventually you find some paintings and ask him about it and he has to confess

youre scared of change but he promises you wont lose him even if things dont work out

puts a ton of effort into your first official date and is such a gentlemen it gives you butterflies

maybe you were wrong about relationships being hopeless

han

i love this man sm

would wholeheartedly agree when you rant to him about your most recent shitty date and tell you that all men are trash

your declaration that youve officially given up on relationships gives him the idea that he can freely flirt with you now

it started as a joke but the more he said it the more he genuinely believed it

didnt realize that he had caught feelings until you brought up maybe trying dating again

makes him sick to his stomach

after you go out on another date you want to meet up and talk about it but he makes up an excuse not to see you so you have to share the evening over text

hes terrified that youre going to replace him and hates himself for feeling that way but at the same time wants to be the only person that you need to depend on

you think his excuse is weird but text him regardless rather than telling him everything in person

hes secretly relieved when you say that you dont intend to see them agian

even more relieved that you told him over text cuz hes grinning like an idiot rn

decides to do something before you want to go on another date with someone thatll just leave you broken

does something omega cheesy like invite you over for your usual movie night

rose petals and candles and a card inside a bouquet

card defo has some shitty pickup line in it but it makes you laugh

baby boy is nervous but you just hug him and say sure

he thinks hes dreaming at this point and looks at you with heart eyes for the rest of the night

felix

would encourage you not to give up

offer to look through peoples dating profiles with you in an attempt to vet the shitty ones

the more he was helping you build your profile and look at potential candidates the more he wanted to say no to every potential match you had

makes a joke about dating you instead of going through the hassle of trying to find someone to date

what begins as a joke ends up weighing heavily on his mind and keeps him up at night

what if you two went out?

what would you say if he asked? would he be rejected? laughed at? ruin the friendship completely?

after this would be relatively quiet when you asked for help with dating

just tells you to trust your gut

youd have to physically go over to his place and confront him about it before hed tell you anything about it

would still be hella nervous

you find it cute though and tell him yes

he starts planning the next cafe date asap

seungmin

tells you youre unlovable

youre used to his tough love and accept it

delete any dating apps you had and officially give up on trying to meet other people

youre content for a while until it finally gets under your skin that everyone around you keeps nagging about finding you a relationship

you ask him to pretend to be your boyfriend to try and get everyone to stop asking questions about your personal life

he spends the entire night flirting with you and genuinely acting like boyfriend material

it fills the void in your heart momentarily

he considered it just helping out a friend but since that night hes seen you differently

have you always been that pretty?

eases off the harsh teasing and tries to compliment you more often

you notice eventually and make a comment

he brushes it off as nothing

youd have to instigate anything if you want things to go any further but some of that playful flirting has carried over since you asked him to pretend

jeongin

doesnt really understand why you care so much about being in a relationship in the first place?

like it genuinely doesnt make sense to him

if you have friends that treat you well why would you need anything more?

starts to worry that maybe he isnt doing enough as a friend

ups the game while unknowingly fulfilling boyfriend criteria

spends all his free time with you. texts you on breaks. finds himself thinking about you whenever hes not allowed to contact you for extended periods of time

performs better when hes able to hear your voice / see your face the day before a big event

would need someone else to point out that his feelings are growing past platonic

probably freaks out a little bit and ignores you for a day or two

plays it off as being sick even though you knew he was busy with other schedules

eventually confront him on it

isnt able to tell you exactly what hes feeling but does tell you that he doesnt like being apart from you

you think hes over exaggerating until you go out on another date with someone you dont know and one of the other boys texts you saying that jeongin is sad and youre the only one who can make him better

you try and joke with him to lift his mood but nothing helps

you fall asleep on video call with one another and when he thinks youre asleep he confesses

"sleeping angel.. i love you.."

you have to pretend to still be asleep despite hearing him or else hed never acknowledge it

when youre ready you can approach him and ask about it

until then though you can expect him to keep protecting you from a distance