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#i wish there was more i could do. i wish this wasn't happening again.
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Blood and Affection ~ LMH
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☪WORD COUNT: 1.6K
☪GENRE: established relationships, minho worried about his girlfriend, cute, fluffy, worried minho, mafia au,
☪PAIRING: Mafia!Minhox Fem!Reader
☪Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2024
☪MASTERLIST
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You are in a relationship with Minho, one of the most powerful and feared mafia leaders in Seoul, someone everyone knew never to mess with or lie to which was why you hadn't been surprised when your nurse who was treated you told him where you were.
"Traitor." You whispered to her as you saw his car pulling up in the parking lot. She smirked over at you and shook her head. She, along with everyone else who worked for Minho, had known you a long time.
Your history with Minho ran deep—you were once his top operative, known for your flawless execution of missions and unmatched skill in the field. You'd trained every single day alongside some of the best of the best in the business and you were incredible. Not to toot your own horn anything but you were.
There wasn’t a single task you couldn’t handle, earning you a reputation that made even the most hardened criminals wary of crossing paths with you.
"You knew he was going to find out anyway. I did you a favour." The nurse teased as you rolled your eyes at her playfully. It wasn't anything major. In fact, you felt stupid for it to have even happened in the first place.
You'd been caught completely off guard and left exposed to something that shouldn't have even happened. 
"It's stupid, I wasn't even paying attention." You grumbled more at yourself than the nurse who was with you. But you hated it. How could you have missed something like this? Minho trusted you to be alone without a guard and now you knew that was never going to happen again.
You'd been out in town all morning, taking a rare moment to unwind in town, deciding to treat yourself at the spa and then at the local stores to some new clothes or some books if you'd seen any. But you'd only just left the spar when out of nowhere, you were ambushed by an assailant with a clear intent to kill. 
Though you fought - and incredibly might you add - and managed to eliminate your attacker, you weren’t unscathed. A deep stab wound in your side left you bleeding profusely. The pain had been nearly overwhelming as you'd struggled to stay conscious on the way to the hospital, it was wishful thinking that you could hide it from Minho. The man saw you naked every single night, if you'd somehow managed to hide it from him while your scar healed you'd have a hell of a lot of explaining to do for the new scar when you eventually got naked in front of him again. 
"Everyone has an off day," The nurse reminded you as she applied some cream to your stitches, eventually covering it with a bandage as you sighed a little. All you wanted was to go home and pretend the day hadn't even happened.
"But not everyone's off day is going to lead to them needing an armed guard at all times," You smiled at her and she bit her lip softly and nodded in understanding. As you lay back on the bed, trying to process everything that happened, the door burst open with a loud bang and you watched it vibrate off the wall. Minho, your stoic and usually composed former boss and now current boyfriend, storms in with a frantic look on his face. His eyes, usually so cold and calculating, are now wide with panic.
“Are you okay?! I heard what happened...” His voice cracks slightly as he hurries to your bedside, his usual air of control slipping away. Normally he was well put together and didn't show any kind of emotion since they were usually held against him but with you, he always let them out. 
"Minho, don't make this a big thing." You laugh weakly but he shakes his head at you. You knew asking him not to make a big deal with a lost cause but you'd figured you'd try anyway. Within a second he was on his knees next to you, his hands trembling slightly as he reached for yours, his gaze scanning your bandaged wound with a mixture of fear and fury. The thought of losing you had him on edge, his usual cold demeanour shattered by the raw emotion he feels for you.
Minho glances up at the nurse, his voice laced with tension. The whole way over he'd been panicking about what he was supposed to do now, he'd already called his guys to arrange protection for you.
“What’s her condition? How long until she’s fully recovered? Are you sure she’s getting the best care?” He peppers the nurse with questions, his usual calm replaced with a sense of urgency. Your nurse opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off as he pointed to the IV that was inserted into your arm,
“And those painkillers—are they strong enough? I don’t want her in any more pain. Is she going to need to stay overnight?” You stroked his hand gently, the small act calming him down within seconds but you could still see just how on edge he was with this whole thing and you nodded at your nurse.
“She’s stable now, sir. The wound was deep, but she was strong. With rest and proper care, she’ll be okay, she should be able to go home as soon as this round of painkillers is done with.” Minho’s gaze flickers back to you, his expression softening as he takes your hand and squeezes it softly. 
“You hear that? You’re going to be okay,” he says, more to himself than to you, as if he needs the reassurance just as much. He placed his lips on top of your hand and kissed softly before shaking his head at you,
"Minho-" You tried to warn but you were quickly cut off,
“But this… this can’t happen again.” He pointed at your wound before leaning in closer, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand and smiling weakly. There was no way he was going to ever let anything happen to you for as long as he lived. 
“From now on, you’re getting extra protection every time you step out. I don’t care if it’s just for a walk or to grab a coffee—you’ll have backup, no exceptions.” His tone leaves no room for argument, the fear of losing you still evident in his eyes. It was going to be pointless arguing with a man who was set in his ways as much as Minho was when it came to your safety,
“I can’t risk anything happening to you again. Not when you mean this much to me.” He whispered, the nurse excused herself once his men began to gather in the room. All of them watched Minho with a smile on their faces. You were the only one that had ever been able to pull any kind of emotions out of their scary boss,
"Is the hospital floor secure?"
"You did not kick anyone out, right?!" You screech at your boyfriend who looks at you with a nervous smile tugging on the corners of his lips.
"If I say no, it won't be a lie...technically
"Minho-" You hiss at him but he shakes his head at you, it wasn't as if he'd thrown them out of the hospital. He'd merely paid everyone to be moved quickly.
"I moved them to different floors," he shrugged at you before you scoffed and nudged his shoulder. You'd have been perfectly fine without him moving anybody.
"I don't need protection from a bunch of old people."
"I don't care," He mumbles, looking at you and then kissing your cheek softly as you playfully scolded him for being so damn overprotective.
"I can't lose you, Yn...I just can't." He finally whispered as you pulled him to sit on the bed with you, your head resting on his shoulder. His men quickly filtered out of the room leaving you alone again.
He’s quiet for a moment, just resting his chin on top of your head, his fingers tracing soothing circles on your arm as he tries to think of something to say to you. 
Finally, he breaks the silence, his voice low and heavy with emotion. It had been hard for him when he'd heard the news of the attack, he'd gone into overprotective mode within seconds,
“I can’t lose you. I just… I can’t,” he whispers, the words almost a confession. 
“When I heard what happened, it felt like the ground was ripped out from under me. I’ve always been in control, always knew how to handle things… but when it comes to you…” He trails off, his grip on you tightening slightly as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away from him. You can feel the tremor in his voice, the raw vulnerability he rarely shows. 
“I’ve lost people before, but you… losing you would destroy me. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.” You lift your head slightly, your eyes meeting his. The depth of his fear is written all over his face, the tough exterior he usually wears stripped away in this moment. You reach up, cupping his cheek in your hand, your thumb brushing away a tear he didn’t even realize had fallen.
“You won’t lose me, Minho,” you say softly, your voice filled with sincerity. 
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise you, you’ll never lose me.”
His eyes search yours as if he’s trying to believe it, trying to let your words sink in. Finally, he exhales a shaky breath and presses his forehead against yours. 
“I’m holding you to that,” he murmurs, his voice a little steadier now, but still tinged with the lingering fear of what could have been. 
“Because I can’t… I won’t let you go.” He promised you as you nodded at him, cuddling into him softly.
"I'm not going anywhere," You whispered to him, closing your eyes as you laid your head on his chest.
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HI GWEN POOKIE CONGRATS ON 200 IM SO PROUD OF U !!! U DESERVE IT SM <33
can i req “who did this to you” + xiao + romantic
teehee 🫶
"Who did this to you?"
Xiao trembles with an energy he knows all too well. It's wispy and dark and miasmic, keening at the idea of tearing whoever or whatever roughed you up like this to shreds.
Despite your swollen eye and bruised knuckles, you only smile at him in response, not an iota of dejection swaying your form. It's one of the things about you that intrigues him, loathe as he is to admit it - you're never seen without a performance of bared teeth or stretched lips.
But even if you're unaffected, that doesn't change that you're hurt, that you've been threatened by some unknown force, and Xiao wasn't there to protect you--
"Well, hello to you too," you swallow, sensing his unease and repressed rage. "Um, nothing like that happened, promise! One of my friends is visiting in the area, and we decided to spar. Like old times."
Adeptus Xiao knows what sparring is, and he knows what injuries (maybe not mortal...) sustained from those lessons look like. He's fairly certain, despite you being his only human companion, that you're not supposed to be limping.
He can't touch you right now, as much as his impure heart flooded with sin yearns for it. Before he ever trusts himself to comfort you, he'll sit on his hands and remain still for centuries.
"This friend," he almost chews the syllables, "I require a name."
You purse your lips, looking out towards the melting skyline. "That's not how this works. He isn't a threat, okay? These are superficial wounds. Sometimes it just gets intense... if he'd gone easy on me, it'd ruin the whole point of the fight."
His eye twitches, and the voices recede, if only for a moment.
You are never without merit, despite how others may dismiss you. Xiao does know what it's like to be caught up in the throes of combat. Plus, you've tried to reason with him about 'how he gets'. Normally, being told off by a mortal would earn them his silent ire, but even he can't deny he feels like a scolded dog.
...but you are important to him, so he'll let it slide like he always does.
"If he truly wounds you," Xiao starts, considerate, "I need to know."
Blessed with your grin once more, you take a step closer. He's not scared of you, per se, but the Adeptus' hackles start to raise instinctually. What if he hasn't calmed down enough yet? Should he play it safe and go about his duties, if only to make sure none of his penance unjustly latches itself onto you?
Should he run the tip of his spear through every menace to Liyue, soaked in viscera, wracked with the phantoms of your injuries?
"Xiao," you whisper. "Listen to me."
No. He won't do that, because you're right here, and you are alive.
"I'll make sure to call you if that ever happens. I'm safe," he hears a bird cawing somewhere as you take ahold of his ring finger. Of course, it's devoid of any wedding band - customs such as that are below and of no use to him - but the gentle grip of your hand is close enough.
It's a silent promise; one that Xiao needn't repeat, but he will anyway.
You're fine - you're not to be taken from him. In order for you to trust him with your mundane secrets and joyous laughter, he needs to trust you to fight your own battles.
He only nods solemnly, recovering at his own pace. "Did you... achieve victory?"
Letting go of him, in a headache-inducing, booming voice, you boast, "Did you think I could show my face around here if I didn't?! These marks are nothing! You should've seen what he looked like after I wiped the floor with him! Honestly, all of my old pals have gone soft--"
Xiao is once again swept up in the whirlwind that is you. Curbing his overprotective instincts, your relationship is something he holds sacred. For as long as he's able, he wishes to relish in the dynamic, even if he's undeserving of it.
(...and perhaps also because he's a little concerned you may 'wipe the floor with him' too.)
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🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren
a/n: i hope you enjoy where i took this, ray! i know it's a bit shorter than average ^^" but i did enjoy writing xiao in this setting. your support means everything to me! silly yaksha. barely proofed since i'm sleepy...
event post here
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ninyard · 2 days
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hi nin! could you maybe… possibly… perhaps… elaborate on your thoughts about jeremy giving kevin a praise kink… perchance…
okayokayokay im going to try my very best to answer this one without going into writing something wayyy too long as per usual (i dont think i succeeded) or just writing full blown keremy smut (wish me luck)
SO
kevin is not used to being congratulated or praised for how he plays; the master always has something to critique him on, the ravens aren't exactly fond of compliments, and something about the "son of exy" "one of the best" "unbeatable" comments from the press or the media never feels,, legitimate to him. maybe the first few when he was a kid and doing well on his high school teams or when he started becoming a big name in exy, they were really meaningful to him, but it kind of lost it's novelty after a while. there's only so many "how does it feel to be the best?" comments he can hear before they start to feel almost like an obligation from them to him. these interviewers, these journalists, these commentators; they don't know him. so, the older he gets, the more he feels like his talent isn't really appreciated. he rarely hears a "good game!" from anyone that matters to him. he rarely hears a "you played well!" from someone who can look him in the eyes and truly, truly mean it.
then; maybe it's in his first year with the ravens, and its the first time kevin has played against usc (or, maybe he's younger, and it's the first time he's played on a national level with his high school team, playing against jeremy's high school team, and their friendship starts when he's 16/17 instead of older) and kevin hears it all - kevin day, son of kayleigh day, amazing, talented, brilliant. he smiles and thanks whoever he has to politely, and goes on about his day. meaningless and unimportant formalities that are just that. but he meets jeremy knox, who he's heard rumours about, who the whispers have claimed is one of his biggest competitors in the league, and kevin is,,, taken aback. from the moment he lays eyes on him, he's smiling, shaking hands with people much older than himself without a twitch or a deep breath to calm him down. kevin watches as he turns his back, and how his smile stays wide on his face, more than just a media-trained look into cameras and into the faces of the people more important than himself.
jeremy looks around the court as the two teams are having their warm-up time, until he locks eyes with kevin and his already wide smile gets wider. he practically bounces across the court, and shakes hands with riko first, as riko whispers to kevin in japanese to not let this dumb surfer waste any more of their time. then, he turns to kevin, and takes his hand sincerely into his. he looks him dead in the eyes, shakes his head like he can't believe this is happening, and tells him, "it is an honour to meet you. there's very few people out there that play like you can."
riko is jealous, of course he is, and kevin feels weirdly almost embarrassed by the compliment. he thanks him genuinely and tells him that there's no need to be so kind, but jeremy, with his hand still in his, he says something else like "there's only kind things to say about someone like you," or that it wasn't kind; it was the truth. he tells kevin he's excited to play against him, with an obligatory compliment sent to riko, too, but kevin could tell that it was his one that was genuine.
the game goes on, kevins team wins, they're crossing the court after the game and jeremy takes a second longer with his hand in his again, "that's how exy is meant to be played," his smile is toothy and real, "i've never met anyone as good as you,"
oh, kevin walks off that court trying to hide the blush that covered his cheeks. when they found a way to reach each other afterwards, and they stay in touch, meeting up every once and a while when games and banquets and events allow for it, kevin is almost infatuated with jeremy's kindness. everything that leaves his mouth, every compliment that he says feels so heartfelt and thought-through and real that he feels like he's never heard these praises that he's heard a million times before. and it's not like jeremy is kissing up, either, the compliments are casual and appropriate for the conversations that they have.
but kevin is a teenager with a bare basic understanding of his sexuality and his body in general, and he's really not sure why when jeremy compliments him like this, he feels like that. he's not sure why he feels this twist in his stomach when jeremy texts him after a televised game that he played well, that he did a good job, that he's so good at what he does and so brilliant to watch. to make a long story short, kevin realises he's turned on by being praised because of jeremy, because of how he talks about how kevin plays, how he compliments him in a way he's never been spoken to before. (of course he feels guilt and shame the first time he,, imagines jeremy telling him he did such a good job. but he also feels how it feels to picture him saying that to him. and the times that he thinks of jeremy are the times he remembers, the times he thinks of over, and over, and over, and over and-)
(the other option is another thing im working on right now - when kevin is trying to figure out his sexuality, and finds himself in an experimenting kind of phase, jeremy is the only person he trusts to help him figure it out. jean is there, of course, but he's too,, close to the nest. he's too close to riko. jeremy doesn't even intentionally praise him, but he feels how kevin stills and how the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand up when he says that he feels good. jeremy is the one who brings it up sometime afterwards, asking if he wants to be praised, and he has to be the one to explain to kevin what it means - an explanation that becomes a demonstration that becomes a Praise Kink that kevin didn't even know he had)
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vexing-imogen · 1 day
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a vexing query
@percahliaweek Courage/Heart
"So," Scanlan starts, leaning in towards Keyleth, Pike, and Zahra conspiratorially, "who do we think she meant?"
They all three look at each other and then back at him. "Huh?" Keyleth asks at the same time Pike asks, "Who?"
"Vex!" he hisses, doing a quick scan of the room to ensure that said ranger or her brother weren't within earshot. "You know, with the tree guy." He puts on his best Vex voice, "My heart is someone else's."
(They're totally impressed.)
The ladies exchange another look, this one more amused than confused. (Heh, nice rhyme, Shorthalt)
"You mean you don't know?" Pike asks, incredulous.
"It's so obvious," Keyleth agrees.
Zahra snorts, taking a swig of her drink. "I wasn't even there, and I believe I could at least hazard a guess." She leans over and whispers something to Keyleth, who nods, and then settles back in her chair, satisfied.
There are several beats of silence as Scanlan looks from person to person, waiting for one of them to put him out of his misery. Keyleth seems to be trying to hold back giggles, and Zahra's tail is lashing back and forth.
The awful truth suddenly dawns on him. "None of you are going to tell me, are you?"
Zahra and Keyleth crack up laughing while Pike draws out, "Nope," popping the P and grinning smugly.
He stares at them, aghast. "Why not?"
Keyleth shrugs. "It's more fun this way."
As he sputters, Zahra adds, "You're a smart guy, Scanlan. I'm sure you can figure it out."
Scanlan groans. "I don't know, it could be anyone!" He racks his brain, running through the very, very, very long list of everyone Vex has ever flirted with. "Jarett?"
"No," Pike says, "but that's not a terrible first guess."
He thinks for a minute. "Allura?"
"Colder," they chorus.
"Jeez, okay," he mutters. He narrows his eyes at Zahra. "Is it you?"
She hums. "Oh, I wish, but no," she says. "You are quite a bit warmer, though."
His next guess is a long shot, but, "Is it me?"
Pike barks out a laugh. "In your dreams." (Okay, fair, but she doesn't have to be so rude about it.)
A low murmur of conversation fills the room as Percy and Cassandra enter, clearly just passing through.
"Oi, Percy," he calls out, "help me out here. Who was Vex talking about when she said her heart was someone else's?"
Percy goes very pale, and then very red. "I, uh," he stutters, his voice going higher than usual. "I haven't a clue. Not a one. If you figure it out, let me know." He takes a couple of steps and then turns back. "On second thought, don't do that. I don't care to know. Never mention this to me again. Thank you."
Once the door has shut behind him, Scanlan lets out a low whistle. "Guess I'm not the only clueless one."
This sparks another round of raucous laughter from the ladies, and Scanlan accepts that he's not going to get anywhere playing their little guessing game. He knocks back the rest of his drink, bids them goodnight, and sets off through the castle to his room.
He turns a corner and comes across Grog, stretched out across the corridor, eating mayonnaise out of his jug.
"Hey there, buddy," he greets, hopping up to sit on one of Grog's feet.
"Oh, hey, Scanlan," he says, taking a drink from the tankard of ale at his side. "Feels nice to have a night to ourselves for once, doesn't it?"
"You said it," Scanlan agrees, letting his head thump against the wall. One measly night off before they're off again, chasing down some magic something-or-other through a desert. "Say," he starts, "you wouldn't happen to know who Vex meant when she said her heart belongs to someone, do you?"
"Didn't know it was some kinda big secret," Grog says through a mouthful of mayonnaise. He swallows, belches. "It's Percy, innit?"
Scanlan chuckles to himself. "Whatever you say, Grog."
(Yeah, it's nice to not be the only clueless one.)
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thevanillerose · 21 hours
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LEATHER | DABI x BLIND!READER | MY HERO ACADEMIA
~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.
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Coarse. Soft. Plush. Hard.
Your world was defined by these words. It always had been. Blind from birth, you were used to being steeped in darkness, but because you had never known anything different, it wasn't something that made you feel bad. If anything, you weren't sure why people felt so sorry for you. Why they would express such pity towards you when they found out about your affliction.
You were getting on just fine, right? So truly...there were people out there who were far more deserving of their well meant concerns than you were. You didn't need anyone to worry over you.
Perhaps the only thing you wished you could have sight for was to know what you looked like. Somehow your parents were a perfect image in your mind, it was as if you could envision them anyway, despite your own impairment. When it came to you personally though, well...you didn't have the faintest clue.
Were you ugly? Pretty? People always claimed it was the latter, but how were you to know if they were lying or not? There was truly no way of telling.
So that was maybe the one thing that did bother you. The rest of it though, you could deal with. You would be alright.
In fact, you were so brave with it that you would walk home alone at any time of night, no qualms about it. Sure, there had been talk of a mysterious killer on the loose lately, but the most you had heard were vague rumors that you strongly doubted held any actual water.
Like hell you were going to get scared!
Once again, you were out in the early hours. Your senses were always on max settings anyway, so if someone happened to be pursuing you, you would pick up on it in a split. However, it wasn't what lay behind you that you needed to worry about.
A few steps forward, and suddenly you bumped into something. Staggering backwards, you immediately registered that it was a person, and instantly doubled over into a respectful bow of apology. “Sorry! Excuse me...I didn't see you there...” It was quite amusing to use a line like that, given that it was rarely so literal.
The fellow turned and cast his piercing turquoise eyes upon you, observing you in silence. The air was immediately tense.
Dabi hadn't been expecting you to run into him out of nowhere. The streets were usually quiet at this time, he'd go looking for trouble in certain spots sure, but those were usually the obvious ones, like your sketchy backwater nightclubs and 'massage parlors'.
One look at you, and he was confused. “...What are you doing out here alone?”
Male...I figured. Judging by his voice...he's probably around my age...
 “I...I usually come out at any time, really. I was just picking up some supplies-”  You held up the plastic bag filled with goodies from the 24 hour mart. He stared at it for a moment, before letting his eyes flicker back to you again.  “It's dangerous.”
 “Well-” you lowered the bag and shrugged, “-I know that's what they say but...if I stayed inside just because I was scared, it would be like handing over control to whatever bad guys are out there. It would be like they were already winning.”
 He quirked a black brow. Interesting take.
 “...You're brave.”  You heard him take a few steps forward, around your side, behind you. Shuddering, you could sense his fingertips gliding ever so lightly against the back of your shoulder, across the nape of your neck and to your other arm.   “How do you know you've not just run into an enemy though?”
 Well now you were really wondering.    “...Because...you're standing out here on the pavement, right by the road. People like that usually lurk in the shadows...”  “It's dark enough out here though.” he stated, as he circled around to your front again, and you could sense him standing closer than before, “There's nobody else around...no cameras watching...just you and me. I could get away with anything.”
 Now the fear was setting in. He was certainly talking like a killer...so could he really be? You swallowed uneasily and tried to step around him, but his hand caught your side and pushed you back, prompting you to drop the bag as you jolted. Those cartons of chocolate milk you'd bought were scattered.
 “Please, I don't want any trouble!” you insisted, and he tilted his head.  “Maybe you should have watched where you were going. Maybe you shouldn't have been walking out alone at night.”  “I-I'm entitled to!”  “So am I.”
 “...You're the killer they've been talking about?”  “Maybe.”
 This was insane. Even you felt like you were being reckless now. However, you needed to find some way to excuse yourself or run from him. You'd worry about calling the police when you were somewhere safe.  Then again, what would you even tell them?
 “Look...I...if you let me go I won't say a word...” you promised, but he simply scoffed.  “Yes you will, don't lie. You're going to file a police report at the first chance you get.”  “No! No I won't because, because I wouldn't even be able to in the first place!”  “...And what is that supposed to mean? You've seen my face, my location, I basically admitted to you that I'm the killer. Of course you can file a report.”
 “...” Telling him this seemed like as much of a bad idea as a good one...but you would do it.
 “...I...I don't know what you look like. I can't see you.”  There was a long pause. Dabi stared at you, blinking a few times, before leaning in just a little bit.  “...Excuse me?”  “I-I said I can't see you. Because I'm blind.”
 That threw him for a total loop. He hadn't been expecting it. Though now that he really looked at you, he supposed that your eyes weren't really focusing on anything in particular, and they certainly weren't looking at him. So, well, he believed it.
 What now?
 “...Okay. So you're blind. I suppose that...removes the problem for me.”  “A-are you still going to kill me?” you dared to ask, and there was another frightening pause, before he sighed.  “...No...There's little point in it. Just another mess I'd have to clean up.”
 Instantly you were almost bowled over by a wave of relief.  “Th-thank you!” you gasped out, and quickly crouched down to find the items you'd dropped. Dabi watched you fumbling for a moment, your hand patting the ground as it tried to find what it was looking for.  
 He didn't quite know why. Perhaps there was just something tender about you, either way, he ended up crouching down to pick up the carton.
 At the very moment he reached out though, so too did you, and for a split second, your knuckles brushed.
 Instantly you recoiled and gasped. What you'd just touched, it was unexpected.  “What was that??”  “Hm? Oh right...you can't see it.” Dabi sighed and put the carton back in the bag but remained crouching there in front of you, examining his own hand. “...My skin isn't really what you'd call regular.”
 Admittedly, you were curious. He seemed to be behaving more calmly and rationally right now too. Would it really be so bad if you asked?
 “May I...touch it again?”    “Huh?” Dabi quickly looked at you, brow furrowing. “...Why?”  “Because I...I suppose I'm just curious. I won't if it bothers you...I've just...never felt anything like that before.”
What am I doing? What am I doing!? This guy's a killer!!   ...Why am I being nice to him?
 Perhaps the better question would have been vice versa. For Dabi actually conceded, brushing your hand with his again and allowing you to gently run your fingers up his wrist. You didn't even know his name, and yet you were crouched on the ground with him, caressing his arm and feeling how rough, tight the skin was...like it had been burned to a crisp.
 “...What happened to you?” you had to ask him, noticing there were hard staples plastered in there too, as if he were some zombie that had been stitched up. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you reached up with both hands this time, laying them gently against his cheeks and cupping his face.
 His jaw was much the same. It felt similar, like he was damaged. But you could tell his face wasn't unpleasant. He had a good structure, you could tell-  “What are you doing?”  His voice suddenly sounded, a little sternly so, and his hands took your wrists just to guide them down again. Hesitating, you lowered your head.
 “I'm sorry...I act a little rash sometimes...”  “...It's fine. I can tell.” he uttered, but he hadn't let you go just yet. “...But I think I'd rather know about you. How did you become blind?”
 This was such an odd situation to be in. Confessions on a dirty pavement, and confessions to a supposed killer no less. What if you said the wrong thing and he just ended you right here and now? This scarred man did seem to have a cold disposition...but for some reason...you wanted to open up to him anyway.
 “I didn't really 'become' blind, I've been like this from birth.” you explained, and though you couldn't see it of course, his eyes widened.  “...Oh?”
 “Yeah, so...hah...I don't even know what I look like. Sometimes I imagine I must be the scariest thing walking around out here.”
 Dabi's hands slowly slipped away, making you worry. He laid them in his own lap, and watched you. The concerned emotions flickering across your face, like you were suddenly fearful you'd admitted too much. You were obviously nervous around him, but it was like you didn't want to deter him either.
Is he really the killer? I want to run, and yet...I don't.
 His hand slowly extended towards you again. That unmistakable touch against the skin of your cheek, as he let it rest against your face. You could feel his thumb, gently rubbing in a circle. Your hammering heartbeat slowly calmed. You found yourself sinking against his palm.
 “You're a curious one. A bit of a weirdo.” he added, and cracked a smile you couldn't see. Maybe you somehow knew it was there regardless.
 “But...you're pretty too.”
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SHOTGUN SHOT THROUGH THE HEART / CAN'T DRIVE PAST THE PLACES WE USED TO GO TO
keigo x reader x touya
part 2/4, part 1 here
the day of touya’s supposed arrest was the day you almost ended it all. a familiar winged hero comes to your rescue. olivia rodrigo mentioned!
inspired by drivers license + getaway car
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today was enough to kill you.
4:26 am. your eyes open with no time for dreary morning exhaustion. his arms feel especially warm that morning, making it all the more harder to pry yourself away from him. in the end, it would be two broken hearts, and 4 hands bloody.
what kills you is how peaceful he looks. how touya, a man who had fire inside his heart, felt some semblance of comfort when he laid next to you. you prayed he was dreaming, dreaming of something better than this.
you pack throw your keys and what little cash there is left into the purse he stole for you. your as quiet as possible, not necessarily to conceal your movement, but rather your cries. you don't want to do this. you want to go there, and lay with your favorite arsonist. you want to lay there and love him into the world catches up with you. but you fucking can't.
and the worst part is, he's watching you.
he could stand up. he could yell, and demand to know what's going on. he could burn you to a crisp or pull you into his arms. he could promise you forever or break your heart more as you slowly twist the doorknob open.
he hated the fact that he was suspicious about you, but its god's cruelest joke that that gut feeling is somehow always right. he doesn't what exactly is going down, but he knows you're not coming back. his hearts not pure, far from it, but it still hurts him watching you leave. you turned into the one thing he wished you never would be.
but he's quiet. because deep down, somewhere deep in his heart, he knew this would happen eventually. he can't find it in himself to blame you. he blames himself for thinking you wouldn't.
so with a gentle, silent sigh, he lets you go.
just because someone expects betrayal doesn't mean they can't cry when it happens.
you breathe again once you finally reach the car, ducking past the sirens, officers and god damn heroes that are waiting outside the hotel. many of them, the figures you see on t.v and on magazines attempt to acknowledge you, to thank you for your efforts, but your oxygen is running out. you slam the door shut behind you and speed off into the early dusk of the morning.
red lights and stop signs become nothing but a blur as shaky sobs take over your lungs. your grip on the steering wheel loosens as you see his face in the rearview. your feet on the dashboard, laughing at crude jokes overtaking the sounds of traffic. you pray that he'll forgive you, though its useless.
by now, they've broken into the room.
by now, they've got him on his knees.
by know, he realizes just why you left so soon.
you drive alone, despite the various honks and sirens that become more and more evident at your recklessness. suddenly, you see him everywhere- sidewalks, car reflections, alleyways and deeply embedded in the crevices of your heart.
you said forever, and now you drove the getaway car.
when keigo calls you, you answer with a shaky huff as his voice comes through the receiver. he updates you on everything, much to your dismay.
"what do you mean you guys didn't arrest him!? what the fuck happened there?!" you scream.
your ex-fiance's voice is filled with guilt as he explains everything. "it... was a disaster. we underestimated him. he was unstoppable, angrier than i've ever seen him. and when i told him you were the one who gave up his location..."
your heart may as well have stopped when he said that.
"you... told him...?"
the blonde winces at the tone in your voice, realizing his slip up. for a hero that was so used to lying, being calculated and playing a role that wasn't for him, he struggled to hide the most of painful of truths to you.
"shit, i'm... fuck, i'm sorry, babe. it just slipped out." the coward in every man, and evidently in keigo, tries to cover up what he revealed about you. it obviously doesn't work.
a shaky, sob-filled scream escapes your throat as you dangerously speed through the traffic and onto the bridge connecting your now abandoned hiding spot to the city. other drivers are understandably honking at you, flipping you off and asking who the hell granted you your license. you're too distraught to care, seeing as the guilt of turning touya in overtakes you.
you did the right thing, and it tore your heart apart at the seems.
keigo is still on the phone with you, keeping note of the sirens and cars he hears from your end. he quickly tries to diffuse the situation before anything else happens. "[y/n], love, i'm gonna need you to pull over." he cautions. "i'll come to you."
"i'm fine." you lie, not wanting him to see you like this. you stare at the watery depths below, reasoning with yourself not to do anything rash. just make it back to your apartment, wrap yourself up in your bedsheets and lay there until this is all over.
keigo sees right through this, as if sensing your inner turmoil (if it wasn't already blatantly obvious.) he begs you just to pull over, to stop driving in the state your in, and just let him come to you. let him make sure you come out of this alive. its what he wants, and its probably what touya wants, too.
you grit your teeth at his pleas, too heartbroken to think rationally right now. you're a reckless, ticking time bomb, and you all know it. "god, i know you care about me, kei. i know you still have feelings for me."
he's silent on the other end of the phone. his heart clenches, wincing at your harshness. he was never trying to hide how he never fully got over you, even after you professed your love for the man you ran away with. somehow, you still had that hold on his heartstrings.
"yeah, well, so what if do? what difference does it make i still don't want you to kill yourself."
his hand shakes as he holds the phone in his hand, his worry growing more and more apparent with each passing second.
"you made me betray the person i loved so much, maybe as much as i loved you."
theres a heavy silence that hangs over the call screen. its wrong to blame keigo for what happened. either way, touya was still a dangerous villain who had to be stopped. all keigo did was open your eyes to the truth. probably because he's a hero, and thats what heroes do, but also because he loves you, and doesn't want to see your heartbreak over a criminal.
but its that last part that makes keigo's heart sink to his stomach. the idea that the amount of love you had for him was equivalent to the love you had for touya.
even after the end of your breakup, he still wished the best for you. he wished for you to be happy, just not happier than how you were with him. as selfish as that is.
his heart aches, the pain of what you're going through beginning to creep up on him too. he o desperately wants to tell you that everything will be okay, that he'll be your hero and take all your hurt away, but in that regard? he's powerless.
"keigo, i-"
he listens, hoping you'll finish your sentence. but you don't, even after he yells after you. "what? [y/n], what? hey!?"
his heart stops in his chest as a loud crash resonates over your end, followed by honking, screaming, and worst of all, the sound of something splashing into the watery depths below. what scares him the most is what he doesn't know. are you okay? can he still save you in time?
when the line goes dead, he quicky takes off, setting out to find you before its too late.
✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚
theres an overwhelming cold feeling that takes you. you're oddly relaxed, despite the dull ache that erupts in your head. you aren't sure whats happening fully, your memories a messy haze. right now, nothing else matters as your body floats through the cold state of purgatory.
theres suddenly a sharp pain on your chest, followed by a desperate plea you can’t quite discern. theres a familiar taste on your lips, one that speaks love to you. that resounding pressure on your chest makes your heart thump, causing memories to suddenly replay in your mind like a film screen. memories with someone you loved.
you and keigo had met through some friend you can’t really remember. two deep in chardonnay, and you were the only one that guessed his antics during charades. the pounding of your heart continues as you recall the memory. you went from one kiss to getting married in just the span of a few months.
first loves are special like that.
he found pieces of you in every song he listened to, became utterly addicted to smell of your perfume and your bare shoulder in the morning. he loved your laughter, the way your hands fit in his. he loved that you saw him, even in the moments he could barely recognize himself.
the thing about first love, however, is that its also your first loss.
fears of trapping you in a marriage, the same one he had seen growing up, became all the more evident for the hero. he didn’t want to hold you down, to chain you to him when the two of you were meant to fly freely, happily. he felt like you deserved to love someone else.
and eventually, you did. though he never expected the firstborn son turned villain you ran off with.
but as keigo performs cpr on you, begging you to come back to life, he pleads with the sky. with anyone who might hear him, or whoever was trying to take you away from this world.
if it meant you’d start breathing again, he’d fly up to the clouds and catch lightning in a bottle. if it meant you’d open your eyes, he’d fix every last mistake he ever made. if it meant you’d love him again… well, he’d deal with the truth of that if it meant you’d simply live again.
he almost gives up, looking down at his own, wet gloved hands as he comes to terms with the fact that his attempts may be futile. you were injured in the crash, losing blood from cuts and bruises. on top of that, you had drowned, the cruel, murky depths of the sea taking you away.
he’s already covered in water, but a singular tear drop runs down his eye.
your hearts beating, fuelled purely by the love you’ve gotten to experience. you see two people- the man who brought you back to life, and the one that felt like the best way to die.
before you can discern who is who, your heart catches up with your lungs, taking a desperate gasp of air. you immediately turn to your side, ignoring the cuts on your body in order to turn over and cough out the water. its salty and stings your throat, your vision hazy and your body shivering.
“breathe.” a voice commands you, rubbing circles on your back. keigo sighs in relief, pulling you into his lap. you cling like the life buoy you would have needed just a couple of minutes ago.
you don’t even realizing you’re still crying, not until the blonde strokes your cheeks free from the tears. he tilts your head up so he can look at you.
“you were dead a minute ago.” he says, his usual nonchalant behaviour replaced by a rare glimmer of worry. you were the only person that pulled those feelings out of him, anyway.
your throat sings of salt, body aching from the cold and the blood loss. “yeah, well… you’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.” you choke out.
he almost laughs, opting to pull you into a tight hug. with as much strength, though theres not much, you embrace him back. yes, you’re still mad. yes, you’re still heartbroken. but he somehow made your tortured heart beat once more.
he wraps his coat around you, handing you off to the paramedics. he promises to meet you in the hospital after he’s done helping other survivors, sending you off with a tender kiss to your forehead. keigo looks back, seeing the accident that left you dead for a moment.
touya, from afar, is watching too.
the look on his face is something you can’t quite decipher. he’s mad as hell you sold him out, especially at the behest of hawks- but something dragged him to the scene of the accident. something in him had to know you’d be okay.
he watches as the ambulance takes you away, before turning away and leaving the scene.
tags 🐚
@whenanafallsinlove @satirediary @bbluefllame @crushmeeren (aka all the people that would probably choose touya’s life over a thousand peoples 😭 cuz me too)
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irl-magicalgirl · 1 year
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novadreii · 29 days
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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july-19th-club · 2 years
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me age seven being sat down in front of the school’s district child psych lady and being given strange, simple spatial puzzles to solve and then long, complicated worksheets and hammering my way through them at the speed of light while having zero comprehension what their purpose was or why i was here: this is urgent! i have to get a good grade in Weird Puzzles, Or Else, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve,
#kjalkjsdalkjasdl mrs button was a nice lady but not one adult in my childhood ever seemed to notice what to me now seems like#a pretty obvious case of the autisms#then again maybe they just didn't look as hard unless it was *really* obvious back then . it was like. what. 2000? a couple years later#everybody was talking about autism but not when i was six or seven then it was usually just when it was Very Visible#a couple years later my cousin who's more visibly on the spectrum than me got her diagnosis so young that she's pretty much always had it#which is...well i think it's just made her life difficult in a different way. people underestimate her or don't treat her like she's her age#but then she's always had the opportunity to get accommodations and people are sometimes more forgiving when she can't do something#whereas i got labeled 'kid that should be ahead of the game' from a pretty young age and then when i struggled adults either ignored it#or it was just a huge hassle to them and even i could see it exasperated them to have to work around me#but because mrs button (nice lady but what were you thinking) hadn't told them to treat me like a kid with a developmental disorder#they didn't do that in good OR bad ways . so i never got any accommodations with school stuff i struggled with which was a fair bit#i wasn't supposed to need extra testing time in a quiet room or tutoring with math or help organizing my abysmally scattered things#the only time i DID get that was in sixth grade when i was sort-of friends with this kid jonathan who was Very On The Spectrum#he wasn't really a talker unless it was about whatever he was reading which suited me fine so we just kind of existed in each other's space#and his TSS was this very smart and nice lady who had clearly clocked that Something Was Going On With Me and even though it wasn't like#her JOB she made a little bit of time for me. mostly with emotional stuff (i think i was under the impression she was a therapist?)#but if i had some problem with being unable to keep friends or being frozen out by the kids i wanted to be liked by (happened often)#she'd be able to just like. be there she'd make the time . wish i could remember her name
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goldentigerfestival · 4 months
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I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).
My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.
Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".
The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#honestly JP Yuri talks abt punching ppl often enough that it's like... this should have been an easy tl#and like honestly wtf is with the dub having Yuri at Ioder's absolute THROAT every time they talk#I'm serious when I say dub Yuri genuinely pisses me off sometimes bc he's an asshole for NO reason#it's not cool. I'm not rooting for him. I'm rooting for someone to punch him in the face for being an ass#JP Yuri would love to do it honestly he's always up for punching ppl it's a recurring theme for /him/#I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. I've wanted to punch dub Yuri in the face multiple times#that's enough for me to recognize that the dub took more than just ''creative liberties'' with the loc#it SUCKS too bc the dub in and of itself isn't bad. I've said this before but#it really is primarily Yuri and his absolute ATTITUDE problem /and/ the way the dub treats Flynn and puts him down constantly#and unfortunately often uses Yuri to do it... when they're not having Flynn himself do it#all always in areas that never even happened originally. they just literally made it up#still not over how they had Flynn basically berate himself by saying ''like a /good knight/'' at Yormgen#the dub very clearly had a /narrative/ bias against imperial figures/knights that wasn't in the original#what was the reason to drop Sodia calling Yuri ''sir'' at Aurnion? there wasn't one!#but Sodia BaD so we can't possibly let anyone see her character development and have to hide it from dub players!#unfortunately for me the dub not being bad in and of itself truly is trumped by#its treatment of Yuri and Flynn as characters and the way the game narratively directs players#for me it really is THAT BAD that it's stronger than the rest of the dub being just fine#and it really truly honestly RUINS the entire dub for me bc I love Yuri and Flynn and hate seeing them treated like that#I mean literally the whole point of me making those text posts is bc of my love for Yuri lol#and it's so sad and hard to see dub players not get the same Yuri experience simply bc... they don't even know#a lot of people didn't even realize how different he was and like... I get loving Troy's acting#but again Troy isn't the problem here. I don't want a dub that treats my favorites the way it does#I WISH Troy could have voiced Yuri the way he really is. in some way for me it feels very lonely#bc like the casual person I pass by who knows Vesp isn't likely to have not played the dub you know??#so it's like... I wanna talk abt Yuri but we aren't even talking abt the same Yuri#nearly outta tags lol but yeah it just... makes me SO sad that they did all this to those two
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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solradguy · 2 years
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I came to terms with the Sol kinnie thing months ago now because honestly who gives a shit, but every now and then I'll find myself in a situation where I wonder if whatever it was I was about to do was/is a pre- or post-Guilty Gear interest lol
#textpost#Most of them have been pre-Guilty Gear interests which is honestly hilarious#Like of course I don't have proof for most of it but my fursona is the funniest one#He's basically bootleg furry Sol Badguy BUT he was like that MONTHS before I got into GG#I've been thinking about this over the last few days though#Because I was doing some Queen stuff and had a thought like 'am I only doing this because my brain's weird or do I actually care'#And went through like a checklist of things. I do actually care#Sol is like frighteningly relatable though and sometimes I wish he wasn't lol#I typed this at 2am last night but saved it to my drafts instead of publishing it haha Still kinda feeling it this morning though tbh#I wish I could better articulate or find a term that describes how I relate to Sol better because 'kin/fictionkin' feels too...#Hmm.... Psycho-religious? A lot of essays I read while initially figuring this out related the kin tag to something more like a-#-Philosophy or something similar to a religion#But for me it's more like my brain filling in empty spaces within itself because No One was like me growing up and#now that I'm also trans there are even LESS people who are like me#So my brain sees a character that's similar to me and is like 'oh holy shit it's us. Let's be like that' hahah#This got really long I should've put it up in the post sorry lmfao#Anyway this is something I've done my whole life and 'kinning' is really the only term that fits what it is even if it's not a 1:1 fit#It usually doesn't bother me but knowing that some of the things I enjoy now I probably won't later once my interests shift again does#I still keep waiting for it to happen with Guilty Gear but GG is so different from anything else I've been into I'm not sure it will#Since most of the things I like about GG were things I liked before getting into it. Like heavy metal & weird scifi/fantasy#I'm not going to elaborate on how exactly I relate to Sol also. My blog is too public for that#and this post is already a little too personal#kin tag
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vaugarde · 2 years
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since its impossible to watch xy without commenting on it (tho im gonna try my best) just wanna say that i dont inherently hate the idea of ash and serena being together or them being shipped in the show. in fact, it kinda makes sense that they’d choose the arc that takes place in france to give ash a blatant love interest. i actually shipped them when i was a kid and this was first airing, lol. so whatever i say about it, it’s not really coming from a place of “ugh its not the ship i wanted to have happen” because they’re ten and i dont care. 
but then the issue after that is. they’re ten and i dont care.
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twig---verginix · 1 month
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swear to god i'm just gonna stop watching the endings to shows i like. good shows need to get cancelled on cliffhangers forever
#sorry its just that this has happened like twice back to back for me here and im not really a tv show watcher so maybe other people are#better equipped to handle it and THIS ONE WAS STILL GOOD AND FUN except for the last scene. like the literal very last scene.#ridiculous in tone. like i genuinely don't know if they just ran out of time or what#they DEFINITELY ran out of money in the effects budget jesus christ. helloooo greenscreen. hello snapchat app facefilter#like the vfx are kind of hit or miss with this show but the practical effects always went HARD. and this very last scene#i cannot stress enough that this was the very last scene. they were SOOOO CLOSE <3#this last scene just looked so bad. AND IT WAS SO SILLLYYYYYYYY why sunglasses. why were the girls dressed straight out of MADELINEEEE#are there uniforms that actually look like that????#listen i thought it was going to be a BAIT AND SWTICH nightmare kind of thing.#because there was still so much time left in the video but it was just INTERVIEWS or whatever with the directors. DEVASTATING.#WHY DIDNT BEN COME WITH THEM. FUCK#sigh. pointedly not tagging the show name because i do love this show. is it perfect? nah im sure. but i DO love it#and i'm not interested in tearing it apart and reading other people do the same like i just did with The Other Show#like god i can't do that again. my heart can't take it.#david take those sunglasses off. please. for me.#I DIDN'T EVEN NEED CLOSURE ON THIS PLOT THREAD ITS FINE. THEY COULD HAVE ENDED ON THE SCENE BEFORE#i would have made do with that! or just a shot of some plane tickets on kristen's phone and some background noise#of the girls packing! something cute and sweet and implicationy like that we DID NOT NEED THE GREENSCREENNNNNNN#anyway even with what we do have I'm choosing to believe that ben was packing up his stuff and moving out there with them against his bette#judgement. like i know he said something about 'visiting' but he's rolling up his poster i can choose to believe what i want about that#i need to stop typing and thinking about it man i just realized he wasn't wearing his hat this whole episode. did his migraines go away#did i forget that from last episode. also while im complaining i WISH there was more lexis stuff this season she didn't get to be spooky#*capping my pen and throwing it across the room* but there was a lot of stuff i liked.#*gritting my teeth* im going to rewatch the season now.#or i'll just keep replaying the part where ben stumbles over the i love you. worth it just for that. because i am weak of spirit
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no-one-hears-me · 6 months
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I really truly genuinely do not want to let him go
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mrfoox · 8 months
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Me: haha, I'm over that thing that happened over a year ago, lol, I don't think about it and-
Also me: -suddenly talks about it and gets hit with the same feelings as back then- aa, shit /:
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