#i woked out both yesterday and today and am probably going to make it a thing. what is wrong with me

[jayflrt]

strawberry lemonade

❝ praying mantises sound a lot more peaceful than listening to reenactments of fifty shades of grey every other night. ❞

PAIRING ▸ park jongseong x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut (minors dni), crack, college au, lowkey pwp but there is plot sorry this was just the jay brainrot acting up

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, sex, slight exhibition kink, fingering, oral (fem. receiving), praise & degradation, pet names because i am a weak woman, sunghoon (fun guy) collects preying mantises??

SUMMARY ▸ you and jay park are bound by fate; or, rather, you're bound by your respective roommates who have obnoxiously loud sex every other night. it's only a matter of time until you give them a taste of their own medicine.

or, revenge is best served with a strawberry lemonade lollipop.

WORD COUNT ▸ 3,482 words

PLAYLIST ▸ lolly by maejor, juicy j, justin bieber • high off you by alayna • candy by doja cat • kickin’ back by mila j

TAG LIST ▸ @msxflower​​ @fiantomartell​​ @baekhyunstruly​​ @mykalon​​ @heelariously​​ @hobistigma​​ @simplyxlea​​ @wntrsgf​​ @person-standing​​ @ja4hyvn​​ @dnyamight​​ @candidupped​​ @shmooooo​​ @pr0dbeomgyu​​ @sunshine-skz​​ @hiqhkey​​ @kp0p10v3r2​​ @baekhyuns-lipchain​​ @jagyuuar​

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ the first modern lollipop was created in 1908. it has been an uneventful 114 years of its creation until a video spread yesterday of park jongseong sucking on one. as a result, user jayflrt woke up in a cold sweat to write this in one sitting. 

IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT.

You were currently reporting a criminal (Kim Minjeong) to the authorities (Lee Heeseung).

To be fair, you weren’t actually reporting your roommate to your apartment floor’s resident advisor. She was at her boyfriend’s apartment today, and you were just venting your frustration from the previous night.

Heeseung was just someone you complained to about these things, but never with the intention of getting anyone in trouble. You knew he was good at keeping secrets, so, unless you said otherwise, he wouldn’t confront the people causing problems. (This, of course, went against his sole responsibility as an RA, but people let that slide because he had a pretty face and baked cookies for everyone on Saturdays.)

You got along with Minjeong very well, actually. Although you two were randomly paired together, you clicked the moment you met in the beginning of the school year. You got locked out of your apartment the first night, and when you texted Minjeong for help, she ended up getting locked out, too. The both of you waited until dawn to get a replacement key, and it marked the beginning of a strong friendship.

The only issue was that Minjeong recently started dating Jake Sim, who happened to be your neighbor. In the first few weeks of school, your entire floor mingled and socialized a lot, so you got along very well with the people around you. Jake and Minjeong seemed to hit it off really well, so it was no surprise that they ended up dating.

However, what was surprising was your roommate’s ability to moan at such high volumes every other night.

“Maybe you should confront her about it,” Heeseung offered. It was a stupid suggestion; you were going to kill him.

“I’ve tried!” you whined. “She said she would be quieter and soundproof her room. Guess what? Egg cartons aren’t doing me any favors!”

“I would not wanna have sex in a room full of egg cartons.”

Before you could retort, there was a knock at Heeseung’s door. You looked at him quizzically. Heeseung was terrible at job, so it didn’t make sense for anyone to actually come for help. When he opened the door, though, it all made sense.

Jake’s roommate and your group therapy partner, Jay Park.

In the beginning of the year, you and Jay didn’t get to talk much. You, of course, took notice of him (because it was hard to ignore good-looking men), but neither of you made the effort to become friends. He intimidated you at first, and it was probably because of his sharp features and piercing gaze. The only things that softened his image for you were his classic strawberry lemonade Jolly Rancher lollipops. He should seriously be sponsored by the company; you had seen him sucking on the candy at least once a day.

Naturally, you two got closer after your respective roommates started seeing each other. This wasn’t because you naturally gravitated toward each other or anything. You both would just find yourselves running to Heeseung’s room to complain about your situations, and you both developed mutual sympathy.

It was fun getting to hang around Jay, though. If you had a second chance, you would have tried to actively befriend him before, but you weren’t mad with how things ended up.

“You know, I should’ve fucking roomed with Sunghoon instead,” Jay spat, storming into Heeseung’s room with an unwrapped strawberry lemonade Jolly Rancher lollipop in his fist. He angrily tore the wrapper off and shoved it into his mouth. “One minute I’m writing my history paper, and next I hear the second coming of Christ from Jake’s room. Do those two have the sex drive of bonobos?”

(“You’ve been watching Planet Earth again, haven’t you?” you inquired, recalling him watching rerun episodes in the common room while he was high off his ass.

Jay shot you a glance. “None of your business, Y/N.”)

“I thought you said you would rather die than room with Sunghoon,” Heeseung said.

You frowned. “Park Sunghoon? What’s wrong with him?”

“He collects praying mantises,” Jay explained. “Fun guy, but it’s a bit terrifying.”

“Praying mantises sound a lot more peaceful than listening to reenactments of Fifty Shades of Grey every other night,” you muttered. “Is Sunghoon taking roommate applications?”

“You guys just need to drive them out or something,” Heeseung suggested. “Maybe give them a taste of their own medicine.”

The three of you fell silent for a moment, processing Heeseung’s words.

If you were understanding him correctly, there was a clear sexual undertone in his words—hell, it was hardly considered an undertone with how overt it sounded. You weren’t sure what Jay was thinking about, but Heeseung’s suggestion led you to think of you and Jay having obnoxiously loud sex to get back at your roommates. The very thought made your cheeks burn.

You were 100% sure that Jay would not be on board with this idea. It was absurd to even think about having sex with him for the sake of leveling out the playing field. Plus, you would be crazy if you thought that Jay would want to sleep with you in the first place.

This was when you deemed it proper to obliterate Lee Heeseung.

“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” you replied.

“Heeseung, you’re a genius,” Jay said at the same time.

So maybe you and Jay were not, in fact, on the same page.

You both looked at each other, both confused for different reasons. You were gaping at him like an idiot, and he was looking at you like you were crazy for refusing. Heeseung, meanwhile, was just glad that his suggestion was 50% accepted.

“D-doesn’t that mean we’d have to, um… have sex?” you asked, trying your best not to stammer as you spoke.

Jay laid his cards out flat. “We have fake sex.”

Now, you and Heeseung were completely lost. You being confused was one thing, but Heeseung being confused about his own plan was another thing.

“Fake sex?” Heeseung spoke up. He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of what Jay was saying before he shook his head. “You know what? Nevermind. You two should leave and figure it out yourselves. I’d rather not be part of this conversation, so go decide amongst yourselves if you’re gonna have… fake sex, or chill with Sunghoon’s preying mantises or whatever.”

“C’mon, you don’t wanna hear about our faux sexcapade?” Jay teased, but Heeseung was already pushing you two out the door. “I guess that’s a no,” he said as the RA closed the door on their faces. Jay turned back to you with newfound confidence. “So, fake sex!”

You raised a brow, staring at his lips because you were a whore. He was so close that you could detect the faint scent of his strawberry lemonade lollipop.

“What exactly does fake sex entail?”

“You know, pretending we’re having sex so that they get the message and start shutting the fuck up,” Jay explained. “All you have to do is moan like you’re having the time of your life.”

Jay’s room was a few doors down the hall. You two were far too close to actually putting this plan into action. You hated admitting it, but it was actually a solid plan; you were sure that Minjeong and Jake would get the message if they experienced what it was like to be in your shoes. Plus, they were in Jake’s room right now, so it was the perfect opportunity for you and Jay to teach them a lesson.

You didn’t have any reason to say no. There was nothing cheesy holding you back like the fear of ruining your friendship with Jay. In fact, you had always thought Jay was insanely attractive, especially when he was sucking on that lollipop of his. Even though this was a sham, you were probably being given the opportunity of a lifetime.

“Are you totally sure about this?” you asked. “You really think they’re gonna be quieter if we do this?”

“I’m positive.”

This was the stupidest idea of your life. You supposed it didn’t matter, though, considering you were pretty stupid anyway.

“Fine,” you agreed. “Let’s do it.”

After more discussion and preparation for your scheme, you and Jay found yourselves in his room thirty minutes later. You had never been with him in his room alone before, and it was a little pathetic that your first time visiting was to partake in a fake sex ploy. His room was surprisingly neat and tidy, though, but you realized that it was probably because Jake always nagged him to clean.

Just as you thought, the muffled sounds from Minjeong and Jake were audible as they were a wall away. You were genuinely impressed that their stamina didn’t let up. It had been a long time since you had hooked up with someone, but you were certain you wouldn’t be able to last that long.

When you looked at Jay, he gave you a silent gesture to commence the plan.

You balked, feeling embarrassed already. Taking a deep breath, you steeled your nerves. You had to commit to the role if you wanted to succeed. You weren’t sure if you could take yourself seriously, but, willing your voice not to go shaky, you let out an exaggerated cry.

“Oh, Jay!” you moaned out. “You’re so fucking big!”

“Chill. You sound like a Euphoria character.”

“I have to Maddy Perez it up if I want them to take the hint!” you whispered back, harsher than you intended, but Jay received the message well.

“F-fuck! You’re so wet.” Jay’s voice broke at the end, immediately covering his face with his hand. You snorted, trying not to break into a fit of laughter, and Jay shot you a threatening look. He was failing miserably, though, because his face was completely red. “God, you’re so… tight?” Jay groaned into his hands. “I’m gonna kill myself.”

“Louder,” you instructed. “Bolder.”

“It’s embarrassing!”

“It was your idea!” You tutted and got on top of his bed, kneeling on one of the pillows. “Watch this: Jay—oh!—you’re so fucking hot! Keep fucking me like that!”

The plan was definitely working. You were hearing less sounds from Jake’s room, and their moans were definitely dying down. When you looked back at Jay to see if he understood your little lesson, you were surprised to see that he was redder than ever.

“You know, I think you’re better at this than I am,” Jay said, “even if you do sound kind of stupid.”

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “You have to milk the performance to get them to shut up, you know?” You turned back to face the wall that separated Jay and Jake’s room, crying out, “Fuck! Jay, give it to me!”

“You sound so fake.”

You scowled. “You’re not even helping!”

“You want my help?” Jay hummed, walking over to you. “Yeah, let’s make this act more believable.”

Before you could respond, Jay slid his hand between your legs and started rubbing the apex of your shorts. You gasped at the sudden contact, feeling your knees buckle under you. Jay slid his free arm around your waist and slid his hand under your shirt to feel you up. Even with his thumb planted on your clothed clit, you were still trying to process what the fuck had just happened.

“Why’re you so quiet all of a sudden?” Jay asked. “Shouldn’t you be moaning? Keep it going, Y/N. You were so good at sounding like such a slut earlier.”

You were getting more and more wet, and you were sure Jay noticed it, too. His rubbing turned from teasing to fervent, and before you knew it, he had pushed you down on his bed and started pulling down your shorts. Well, rather, you started taking them off yourself and let him help you.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, gripping your thighs as he eyed the thin fabric of your underwear. “You’re the star actress here, so you decide. Fingers or mouth?”

You eyed the strawberry lemonade lollipop that was still in his mouth. “Both?”

Jay chuckled. “You really are needy, aren’t you?”

Taking the sweet out of his mouth, he placed it on top of the wrapper on his desk. You thought he would just throw the whole thing away, but you supposed your neighbor didn’t like being wasteful.

Jay practically tore your underwear off, immediately planting his thumb on your clit and rubbing small, precise circles around the ball of nerves. You were whimpering under his touch, screwing your eyes shut when he bent down to lick a long stripe along your folds.

He pulled away to plunge two fingers into your soaking cunt, pleased with how your walls were contracting around his digits. Although, Jay was still unsatisfied by your lack of volume, so he started sucking on your clit as he scissored his fingers inside of you.

“O-oh my god—fuck!” you cried out, immediately slapping a hand over your mouth right after a moan tore itself from your throat. Closing your eyes, you continued to let out muffled moans with your hand blocking the sounds.

Jay was clearly not satisfied with this.

He pulled away with a sigh, tearing you away from the building orgasm that was yet to release. You felt a bit angry when it dissipated, shooting Jay a dirty look. All he did, though, was smirk at your reaction, and that made you feel more flustered.

You supposed it was his way of making it up to you, but Jay ducked his head down to move in for a kiss. He sealed his lips over yours, kissing you slowly and deepening it with each passing second. It grew more hot, languid, and messy, and your tongues were both desperately sliding against each other.

His lips were so warm and soft against yours. It was if you were under a spell when they were pressed to yours, making you lose all sense of control. All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck and draw him closer. You threw your leg around his hip, aching for more contact, more friction.

When Jay pulled back for air, he chuckled lowly. “What’d that taste like?” he asked.

You licked your lips before answering shyly, “Strawberry lemonade.”

He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower and more passionate. You closed your eyes and held his cheek as his lips moved in perfect unison with yours. You had been kissed before, but never like this. Something about Jay was so intoxicating in the very way he carried himself, and now, you felt weak at his very touch.

He pulled away to ghost his lips down the column of your neck. “Want me to fuck you?”

You whined, tugging at the front of his shirt. Every nerve in your body was screaming for him to just touch you all over and split you apart.

“That’s not enough, doll.” He mocked a pout, feigning sympathy. “Use your words. You were all talk before I started touching you, hm? What happened to that?”

“Jay,” you whimpered.

“Yes?”

“I… I want you to fuck me.”

“Louder,” he mocked, grinning at you. “Bolder.”

You whined. “Just fuck me already!”

Seemingly satisfied, Jay started unbuttoning his pants, yanking them down and kicking them off from where they pooled at his ankles. You sat up to peel off your shirt as he scoured through his nightstand for condoms. When he found one, he used his teeth to open the wrapper, taking the rubber out and sliding it onto his cock with a few pumps.

He was nothing short of impressive. You were already weak at the sight of his rippling abs and the mouthwatering size of his cock. His ego was inflating higher and higher when he caught sight of you drooling over him.

“Lay down,” he instructed. “You asked me to give it to you earlier, so you’re gonna take every single inch of me.”

Your heartbeat was going crazy—both of them.

When you were flat on his bed, Jay got over you and started pressing open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone. You whimpered, sliding your hand into his hair for leverage, but that hardly helped when he slipped his hand under your bra to grope your chest.

He pulled his hand away to reach behind you, undoing the clip of your bra with one snap. You were honestly jealous; you couldn’t even undo your own bra that quickly.

Once you discarded your bra, tossing it to the floor along with the rest of your clothes, Jay started leaving hot kisses around your nipple. Then, he sucked on your hard nipple itself, leaving you a moaning mess while heat pricked your skin.

“You wet enough for me?” he mumbled against your skin.

You nodded, and oh god, you were dripping for him. “Please, please, please just give it to me.”

Jay pushed himself inside of you, and the simultaneous moans that fell from both of your lips was almost beautiful. He held your hips firmly and rubbed slow circles with his thumb as he eased himself inside of you, adjusting to the tight squeeze of your cunt. You cried at how tight you were, digging your nails into his back and burying your face in his shoulder.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grunted. “For real, this time.” (You despised how he had to specify that.)

Jay bottomed out inside you, and the feeling of his cock filling you up left tears welling up in your eyes. Unexpectedly, Jay immediately wiped at your tears and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, whispering a sweet apology as he waited for you to adjust to his length.

“O-oh fuck—right there,” you begged once his cock hit that perfect spot right under your cervix.

“Here?” he asked, thrusting in and out of you to get to that sweet spot again.

There must be nothing Jay couldn’t do because he found it almost immediately, taking your choked sob as a sign that he struck gold. The bed creaked and shook as Jay tried to find a proper rhythm, and you were starting to forget your original reason for being here as you moaned and sobbed under him. His thrusts were so purposeful and precise, intending to make you see stars as he pinned you down and fucked you into the mattress.

You babbled something incoherent—something about how close you were, but you were sure Jay picked up on the message by how your legs were starting to shake.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he cooed into your ear, “give it to me.”

Your orgasm was blinding. The preamble of heat blooming under your skin was hardly enough to prepare you for the intense pleasure that started coursing through your body. You were drowning in a sea of molten lava, hardly able to ground yourself as Jay fucked you through your orgasm. He had to grip your hand to remind you that you were still with him, still in the bedroom in his apartment.

Your cunt must have been pulsing around his cock too tightly in the meanwhile because Jay reached his high, too, cumming inside you with a little groan. He sighed, relieved, and pulled out of you so that he could toss out the condom.

“You okay?” he asked, pushing your hair back when you seemed to have recuperated. “You were so, so good for me.”

“Do… do you think we were loud enough?” you asked in a small voice. This couldn’t be part of the act, but you were still scared that Jay would pretend nothing happened.

He snorted. “I think they left a long time ago when I actually started fucking you.” He shifted so that he was holding you in his arms, spooning you and letting his breath tickle your neck. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to make a move on you for a while now.”

“You have?”

“Yeah, but it was kinda hard when Heeseung was always there.”

You giggled, turning to face him. “Maybe you should stop talking about Sunghoon and his praying mantises. That’s not really an effective method to hit on a girl, you know?”

Jay cupped his hand over your mouth. “Shhh,” he silenced you. “I don’t wanna hear it from the girl who needs our incompetent RA to help her with her roommate problems.”

“You do the same thing!” you defended, though your voice was muffled.

“Like I said: shhh.” Jay chuckled. “Plus, now we can just go over to each other’s place when they decide to start going at it like rabbits.”

“You’re right,” you said once you pried Jay’s hand away. “I have one requirement, though.”

“What is it?”

“You’re sharing that strawberry lemonade lollipop next time.”

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Our Family

Alright so a surprise for me and everyone else. I am managing to post today! I had a little gap between my little celebrations and since I managed to do most of my editing and reviewing of this piece yesterday I am able to quickly post this before I go for drinks!

@autumntheblogger requested a fic with Female Benson reader who adopts Noah, and Rafael is the surrogate dad. So, I hope you enjoy and that is something like what you were after!

So, the gif doesn't really have anything to do with the story I just liked it....

Warnings: None.

Master List

Prompt List

Forever and Always

You woke up in the middle of the night, expecting to hear the cries of little Noah as you had the past several nights. But you heard nothing, there was no crying. Sitting up you looked around in confusion, mind still half asleep. Running a hand through your hair you turned to look at your bed partner, your brows furrowed in further confusion seeing the bed empty beside you. The sheets were still warm. There was no light coming from the ensuite, so he wasn’t there. You pouted a little as you got up from bed, determined to hunt him down. You paused to check in on Noah, noticing that the crib was empty.

“Huh,” you muttered.

You slowly walked down the hallway rubbing sleep from your eyes which widened at the sight that you stumbled upon in your loungeroom. The sight answered both mysteries of the night, the absence of Rafael from your bed, and the lack of Noah’s crying. Rafael stood in the middle of the loungeroom, bouncing lightly on his feet holding Noah to his chest as he softly sang to the little boy, the Spanish lullaby soothing him back to sleep. Noah had grown a lot in the year that you had fostered him, it had been just under two months since you officially adopted him, but he still looked tiny in Rafael’s arms. You leaned against the wall, your heart melting at the sight of your two boys. You had been weary about dating Rafael when he first showed interest, you had first met the man when you went to the SVU squad room with the intention to drag your sister out for lunch, it had been a while since you had seen her.

--

“Well, if it isn’t little Benson,” Finn grinned as you strode into the squad room.

“That got old after the first three times you said it, Finn,” you rolled your eyes but let Finn pull you into a hug. You adored Finn, always had since you first met him when he joined your sisters squad. “Liv free?”

“She’s with our new ADA,” Nick answered coming up for his own hug. “Going to drag her to lunch?”

“Ooh, someone’s clever, they should make you a detective,” you teased winking at him when he playfully tried to mess up your hair. “Tell me something, this new ADA, Liv seems both happy and vexed with this guy. What do you guys think?”

“He’s good at his job,” Amanda answered. “He’s a little abrasive and should probably work on his approach to our victims but otherwise I don’t think he’s a bad guy.”

“Good, you guys deserve a consistent ADA,” you grinned before turning as you heard Liv’s voice. You studied your sister, checking to see if there was any signs that she was overly stressed, you let out a breath when you saw no signs. After checking on Liv, you allowed your eyes to drift the man beside her, taking in the fancy looking suit, his perfectly styled hair and his brilliant green eyes. Your heart fluttered for a half second as you took your fill of him, knowing that he must be the new ADA. You were more intrigued by him then you had been with any of the previous ADA’s.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Liv asked as she spotted you next to the rest of your squad. You were still studying Rafael when he turned to look at you, a look of confusion on his face at seeing an unfamiliar person amongst the squad. Your eyes locked for a split second before you forced you gaze away, that second was enough for you to know that you could get lost in his eyes forever.

“Here to drag my stubborn sister out to lunch,” you answered, tilting your head. “And don’t even try it, I already cleared it with Cragen.”

“Of course you did,” she laughed. “Rafael, this is my sister, Y/N.”

“Nice to finally meet you Rafael,” you stepped forward, offering your hand for him to shake.

“I take it Liv’s complained?” he asked stepping forward with a little smirk. He took your hand in his squeezing it gently as he shook it twice before letting go, letting his fingers trail along your palm.

“Only about as much as she would about me,” you responded.

“And that is a sisters job,” Liv poked you in the arm.

“And so’s making sure my sister eats and remembers that they have a sibling,” you hip checked her. “Now please go and grab your shit.”

“Your shout,” Liv said told you as she walked to her desk grabbing her coat and bag. You rolled your eyes playfully at her back ignoring how Rafael seemed to be watching the interaction with amusement.

“Duh, always is,” you added forcing your tone to match how you behaved as a teenager when Liv became more like your mother than your sister.

“They always like this?” Rafael asked Finn. The rest of the squad had been watching the back and forth between the Bensen siblings like it was a tennis match.  

“Only as long as I’ve known them,” Finn shrugged.

“And how long is that?” Rafael asked.

“Since 2000, known Little Benson since she was 17, and even then she would come charging into the squad room to demand her sister join her for food,” Finn grinned. “Those two would share being the mother hens, once in I think 2005 Little Benson was really sick and Liv was out of her mind until Cragen told her to go home.”

“Odafin Tutuola you better not be selling our secrets!” you walked back over to the team wagging your finger at the man. “Don’t listen to him, Rafael.”

“I don’t tend to,” Rafael responded, his teasing smirk growing. “But from what I have witnessed he doesn’t seem to be lying.”

“Rude,” you laughed. “Wow, I can see now why you get along so well with Liv.”

Rafael’s smirk changed to a grin at your laugh, he had heard mentions of Liv’s sister in passing but Liv hadn’t talked overly much about you, at least not to him. He knew Liv was a somewhat private person and he hadn’t been working with SVU for long.

“Alright, call me-”

“Do not call her,” you interrupted. “Cragen promised me a full hour for lunch with my sister with no interruptions. I’m sure this place won’t collapse in that hour.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll handle anything,” Amanda promised you with a wink.

“That goes for you as well Rafael,” you pointed a finger at him. “If you have issues with anything regarding a case, call one of them.”

“Bossy,” Rafael muttered.

“You should have seen her as a teenager,” Liv agreed. You opened your mouth in a fake gasp of surprise.

“Who do you think I got it from?” you asked crossing your arms.

“From me?” Liv acted surprised.

“She’s got you there Liv,” Nick said teasingly.

“Alright we’re leaving,” Liv nudged you away from the rest of the squad.

--

You were drawn out from the memory when you felt Rafael’s hand caress your cheek. As your eyes refocused you saw his green eyes staring at you with love, a soft gentle smile on his face.

“There you are mi amor,” he whispered leaning to press a kiss your cheek. “I was trying to let you sleep.”

“Thank you, honey,” you covered the hand cupping your cheek, nuzzling into it. “I think my body automatically wakes me up now.”

“Where were you just before?” he smiled at you as you reached up to stroke the back of Noah’s head, Rafael removed his hand from your cheek, wrapping his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.

“Remembering when we first met,” you answered. “I remember thinking that I was in trouble from the split second our eyes met.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow, a smirk slowly replacing the soft smile. “Mi amor, charmed by me before I even opened my mouth.”

“Oh don’t go getting a big head,” you scolded him. “We should put him back to bed.”

“Hmm, don’t worry mami, I was charmed by you very quickly as well and that only grew every day,” he kissed your lips before walking back to the nursey to put Noah back in his crib.

“Do tell,” you drawled trailing behind as he entered the room and waited for him to lay Noah down before plastering yourself to his back, arms wrapped around his chest as you looked around him to Noah sleeping peacefully in his crib. Rafael chuckled softly as he ran his fingers up and down your arm before he unlocked them from around his chest, using the grip on your hands to pull you from the room and back to your bed.

“Should I be worried about you getting a big head?” he teased.

“Don’t worry, Rafi you’ll still have the biggest ego in this relationship,” you poked him before you laid down on his chest, your fingers playing with his chest hair. “Now, tell me.” You pouted up at him.

“Bossy,” he tapped you on the nose. “The way you are with Liv, and the rest of the squad. It showed me that you were a kind, compassionate and caring woman. But what really settled it for me, was when you first brought Noah to the squad room after you had started fostering him.”

--

You cradled the little boy close to your chest, humming soothingly as you walked into the squad room. You had promised the team that you would bring your foster son to see them after you had taken time to settle down. You hadn’t even seen Rafael since the court agreed to you fostering. Liv had asked if you would be interested in fostering the poor little guy after the latest care situation hadn’t worked out. At first you had been unsure but the caseworker had let you hold Noah and see him for a few hours at the centre and you were hooked from the moment he cooed at you. The court had agreed to you fostering him, having an older sister who was a Sargent in SVU speak for you helped and the background check was easy, your job paid extremely well and your apartment was big enough for a nursey.  You had a year of just fostering him before you could petition to adopt him. That year couldn’t go quick enough as far as you were concerned .

“Hey guys, you got time for a special VIP visit?” you asked, your voice loud enough to draw Liv out of her office, Rafael following her. Your eyes locked and you were able to watch as he took in you holding Noah, his eyes softened as he looked back up at you.

“For my nephew?” Liv asked striding forward to meet you near the desks of the squad. “Always.”

“I will try to not take offence that I wasn’t included in that sentiment,” you teased handing over Noah to Liv who cradled him so tenderly.

“He’s gotten so big,” Amanda gushed her hand coming up to stroke the back of his head. “How’s he been?”

“Really good, the doctors said he is healthy, and he will probably start teething in earnest soon,” you grinned. “So that will be fun.”

Rafael came up to stand beside you, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. You smiled shyly at him, you weren’t entirely sure how he was going to take to you fostering the little boy.

“Mami suggested teething rings for him that we could put in the freezer,” he said holding a bag up. “I went and got some..”

The rest of the squad happily pretended to be distracted by the baby currently in Amanda’s arms but they all watched the couple, Liv especially was very invested in what was happening. You were currently wrapping your arms around Rafael’s shoulders a look on your face that Liv had never seen before.

“Rafi,” you cooed. “Thank you, I hadn’t even thought of that. Think your mum would be happy to provide some more advice and suggestions?”

“She would be over the moon,” Rafael grinned pecking you on the lips. “And…I would love to help in anyway I possibly could and in any way you want me to help.”

“Really?” you asked almost bouncing on your feet.

“Of course,” Rafael smiled. “If the squad can be torn away from little Noah I wanted to take the two of you out for lunch.”

“Let me see what I can do,” you planted a kiss on his cheek squeezing him tightly before you let go and spun around to face your sister and the others.  “I’m going to need Noah back, you lot. My man is taking us to lunch.”

Since your back was turned you missed how Rafael was looking at you. The expression on his face was almost indescribable, his eyes were impossibly soft and he couldn’t tear them away from you as you took Noah back in your arms, kissing him on his head as you teasingly hip checked Amanda who was pouting at you.

--

“And I later learned that you are fiercely protective of your loved ones,” Rafael’s voice dragged you back to the present. The look in his eyes similar to the one from that day when he came out of Liv’s office.

“Damn right I am, would burn the world for my family,” you agreed pressing a kiss to his chest right above his heart. “Would burn it for you.” Rafael smiled at you trailing his fingers across your cheek.

“Truly?” he asked.

“You’ve been stuck with me since the night you listened to me scream and yell at you, blaming you for Liv being taken by that fucker Lewis,” you propped yourself up on your elbows, hovering above Rafael. “And all you did afterwards was hold me. I had been determined not to let myself feel anything for you, to ignore the signs that you felt something for me, and that night…that night I decided to ignore every reason why dating someone who worked with my sister was a terrible idea.”

“Still think it is?” Rafael asked hands running up and down your back.

“No, not at all,” you rubbed your nose against his placing a kiss on it afterwards.

“Know what I remember from that night?” he asked you rolling the both of you until you were underneath him, your legs cradling his hips as he kissed up your neck and across your cheeks, nuzzling you.

“What’s that?” you asked, a little worried about his answer.

“I remember seeing you breaking apart and knowing that I had no idea how to help you,” he started. “That all I wanted to do was take your pain away. So if letting you scream at me was helpful at all then I would let you scream at me for however long it was needed.”

You stared up at the man that held your heart as it squeezed at his admission. You didn’t think you could love this man more than you already did, but having seen him with Noah and what he just told you showed that you were wrong.

“Rafael, I love you,” you whispered, eyes wet with tears. “I love you.”

You had never said the words out loud yet, Rafael had told you he loved you six months after you started fostering Noah. You had mentioned that after the last six months of the fostering where up you were going to petition to adopt Noah, you had asked him what he thought about it, you had practically moved in together without it being official. You figured you should ask him, concerned that maybe adopting a child might be the line in the sand for Rafael, the two of your had never talked about kids in your future and you knew that if Rafael didn’t want kids that it would be the end of your relationship. But the man had surprised you when he responded by saying that he loved you and would support you in any way you needed. You hadn’t known how to respond, you were a little like your sister in that regards, love was a little tricky. But Rafael took it in stride, like the most amazing man in the world, he hadn’t mentioned it again, at least not out loud, he did small things to show you that he loved you. And that he loved Noah.

“Mi Amor,” Rafael’s voice came out soft and hushed. “I love you as well.”  

The rest of the night was spent in bliss, until the two of you curled around each other trading lazy kisses as sleep tugged you both under.

--

The following morning found you waking up alone in bed. Again. You were thinking you would have to talk to Rafael about that. You hugged his pillow close to you as you rolled onto your side, wondering if you should try going back to sleep, until you heard the most adorable sound. Noah’s laugh coming from the kitchen followed by Rafael’s soft chuckle his words not loud enough for you to hear. You smiled at the sound of your boys, a warmth building up inside. You could hardly believe how well Rafael took to Noah this past year, helping you when Noah started teething, on nights when he stayed over he would always shush you back to sleep if Noah cried as he got up to sooth him. He would take time out of his hectic schedule to spend time with Noah if you were busy with your work so you didn’t need to get a baby sitter. He joined you to any of the doctor visit’s he could, if Child Services made a visit he would try to be there if you wanted him there. He took the two of you out to lunches and picnics in the park.

Rafael went above and beyond, you knew he meant it when he said he would help out but you had no idea he would go as far as he had. In your mind you kept thinking of him as Noah’s father, though you hadn’t dared to say anything out loud. A part of you was still worried that some time soon Rafael would decide that being with you and a kid was too much, that he hadn’t signed up for this. But knowing that right now he was in the kitchen, most likely feeding your son, playing with him and making him laugh almost gave you enough courage to say something. You smiled reaching out to grab the shirt Rafael had left on the bottom on your bed, it was one of his with Harvard sprayed across the front. It fell to your thighs and smelled of him, he would also always leave one of his shirts out for you to wear in the morning.

You padded quietly out to the kitchen phone at the ready to catch what your boys were doing. You peeked around the corner and your heart squeezed at the sight. Rafael was feeding Noah his breakfast while also keeping an eye on whatever he was cooking on the stovetop, from the smell it was pancakes. You switched your phone from camera to video, catching as Rafael imitated an aeroplane with the spoon waving in the air before bringing it to Noah’s mouth.

“Yum, yum, right little guy?” Rafael asked. “Your mami only buys the best for our-her little boy.”

You almost dropped your phone at his slip up, your heart pounding. He was going to call Noah “Our son”, he thought of Noah as his son. You stopped recording and ducked back around the wall, hand clutched to your chest. Happiness burst through you, your smile growing. This was what you needed, after finally telling Rafael that you loved him, you wanted him to know that Noah was his son as well. That this entire time you had been coparenting Noah, and Rafael needed to know. You stepped into the kitchen coming to Noah kissing his head before giving him the last bite of food left.

“Morning love,” you said to Rafael. “Thank you for this, you didn’t have to.” Rafael turned around after flipping the pancake sending you a beautiful smile before he started to make you tea.

“I’m well aware I don’t have do to anything mi amor but I enjoy looking after you and-” you stepped up to him pressing a soft kiss to his lips interrupting him.

“Our son?” you asked. “Because Noah is our son, Rafi. If you want?”

“Amor,” Rafael’s eyes were wide in awe, tears filling them as he stared at you searching your eyes. “Truly?”

“Yes, Rafael, I have thought it for a while I just didn’t know if you wanted that,” you nodded rubbing your nose against his in affection. “But after last night and seeing you this morning I needed you to know.”

“Our son?” Rafael whispered. “Noah is our son.”

“Yes,” you nodded. Rafael grinned as he wrapped his arms around your waist, picking you up to spin you around as the happiest laugh filled the kitchen. He peppered kisses all over your face squeezing you tight.

“I love you mi amor,” Rafael whispered. “And I love our son.”

“We love you as well,” you whispered back. Rafael leaned down his hands cupping your face as he gently pressed his lips to yours before softly and gently moving his lips. Your hands gripped his hips stepping closer to him so there was no gap between your bodies. The kiss was passionate but without the heat of last night.

 The two of you turned in unison as Noah’s giggle interrupted the moment between the two of you. Your son was sitting in his high chair giggling and playing with the spoon hitting it against the table part of his chair. Your lips pulled up into a smile at your son, at the happiness in his giggle. It had taken a while for Noah to express himself and every time he does you are so proud of him. Rafael grinned releasing you to lift Noah into his arms.

“Is our son happy?” he asked lifting Noah up enough to gently blow on his belly. “Does our son want to go to the zoo today?”

“The zoo?” you asked coming up beside your boys. “Don’t you have work?”

“I can take today off,” he grinned. “It’s been a while since we’ve spent the day together as a family.”

You tried to stop your smile from growing too much at the little white lie, you had spent time together last night but you knew to Rafael that this was different. This time you would be together as a family, where everyone knows that the three of you were family. Rafael was almost vibrating with happiness, as he pressed a kiss to your head.

“I’ll get our little man ready,” he grinned heading to the bathroom.

“You’re going to take any chance you have to say our family aren’t you?” you called as you started to clean up, tearing a piece off of the pancake on top on the pile and removing the last one from the pan. “And the two of us our eating the pancakes before we leave!”

“Anything for you mi amor! The beautiful mother of my son,” Rafael called his voice a little sassy but no less loving.

“Yeah, that man is not going to tire from saying that anytime soon,” you chuckled to yourself. And you knew that you would never tire from hearing him say it.

[charlotteking23]

He’s not that bad

Eric Divergent x reader

warning: none

word count: 927

It was late at night, and I could not sleep at all. Only listening to the loud snores and shuffling of the wind outside. Tomorrow was our final fight and rankings for the first stage and I was praying I would make it. After a while, I quietly snuck out and walked around the halls, it was dark, with no light, no sound only the waves crashing near the chasm. Finally, I stopped walking near the training room, I walked in front of the punching bag, punching it as hard as I could, the bag only moving a little. Until I found a warm breath hitting my neck.

"You're doing it wrong" I turned around and was met with cold ocean-blue eyes. Are you stalking me now Coulter? but I got no reply only a burning death stare basically asking me, do I have a death wish. " No, I was walking and found you here in the training room, so why are you in the training room so late at night?" an amusing Eric asks. Well if it was not obvious, I was practicing for my fight tomorrow. After a few seconds, I feel Eric's hands on my body. "you need to create tension in your core because of the size differences between you and the others". I don't know why but all I could think about was his smooth hands touching my body. But after a second he disappeared and left the training room with me wondering what had happened. I punched the bag again causing it to sway much faster. After practicing for a few hours, I decided to head back before anybody saw me.

"WAKEEEE UPPPPP!", screamed four. He was Banging the side of the wall with a pipe. I woke up startled, remembering today was our final fight and what had happened yesterday with Eric. " hey are you ok". Huh,... oh hey Tris, yeah, I am alright. "OK, you just seemed spaced out lately". Don't worry I am fine. and she left to shower.

I was sitting between Christina and Tris, anxiously waiting, biting my nails. Which I know is a bad habit. In my final fight, I was against Drew, which is better than going against Peter. Eric had called me and Drew to ring, Drew had a smug smile on his face, Oh how I wanted to wipe it off his face so badly. Drew tried to hit me first but I was fast enough to duck, an advantage to me being small. We were fighting for god knows how long, both of us not giving up. He hit me in my face causing blood to come but maybe as a defense or for pleasure I hit where the sun didn't shine, he won't be making any babies Damn. I Won my fight Man did it feel good. And Eric even gave me a smile well if you called that a smile but nonetheless a smile.

Right, the final ranking will be posted at the end of dinner, you can leave now, Four said rather eagerly. But I didn't care, I was starving for some chocolate cake.

It was the end of the dinner and I had a good feeling I would at least be in the top 15. I looked on top of the balcony where the rankings would be announced but instead, I found dark blue eyes looking at me, Eric, I whispered to myself. I stood there not breaking eye contact with him until he started to talk.

It is the end of stage one, here are your rankings, if you are not placed in the top 20 then pack your things and leave Dauntless compound. Damn, how can Eric say that with no emotion at all but no matter? I see my name sitting at 9 place which was better than I hope. I left leaving Christina with Will and Tris who already left. I was walking deep in thought happy I made it this far till I bumped into a certain someone, ERIC.

Fuck, Fuck, I am so dead if anyone notices I am missing you will probably find me in the bottom of the chasm by Eric. But instead, he just grunted and mumbled something under his breath, which I couldn't understand. Initiate, and watch where you are going, with harshness Eric said. It's your fault, you bumped into me first and I think you owe me an apology, with confidence I replied. Alright, ALRIGHT that's all he answered, I was praying he wouldn't hurt because of my big mouth but he just replied so plainly. I almost thought for a second he was getting a cold.

it was the initiate's party for completing stage one. I don't know why, but I kept looking for a blue-eyed leader until I saw him. I ignored him pretending as if I did not see him.

Instead, I danced to the music swaying my hips around while dancing I felt a pair of strong hands wrap tightly around my waist, guiding me to dance more. I turn around seeing Eric as I wrap my arms around his neck. We continued dancing with each other no matter how many strange looks we got.

As Eric and I walked out of the party, I realized he was not as bad as we spent the rest of the night together.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Every Damn Time

Pairing: Park Jinyoung x female reader

Genre: emotional angst-fluff

Tropes: established relationship

Warnings: mentioning of declining health of side character, main protagonist is expressing their fears over it.

Word count: 659

Author’s Note: I wrote this back in January, when this situation happened to calm myself down from the fright of it all. Naturally, this piece is a little personal.

Jinyoung barely had a moment to react, and yet he did so instinctively. Catching you before you knocked both of you to the ground, he went to laugh and asked why you were so greedy for his embrace, only to stop himself when he felt your body shudder.

Instantly, he was on red alert. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“Need you,” came out with a choked sob, and Jinyoung rearranged his hold on you.

He pulled you firmly against him, caging your shaking body so you felt protected and safe. And that was enough to unleash your emotions. It killed him to have no clue why you had entered his home and ran to him like this. He wanted to rage in your honour, ask who did this to you, uncover every little detail so he could put together a plan. So he could be the one to solve this and never let it make you break like this again.

But as he continued to hold you, rocking your body and letting out soothing noises, his mind came down from the height it had gone to.

Jinyoung had been working late yesterday and into the early hours of today, which wasn’t unusual for him, and he had almost sent you a message out of habit but realised the time was late. He remembered frowning when he had seen your last active time stamp to be after one am, yet he considered you probably had struggled to sleep and then fallen into slumber eventually.

But now he wasn’t so sure. What had kept you up so late into the night? He had his suspicions, and you finally confirmed them a moment later. “She fell.”

“How?”

“I’m not sure. I was in bed and woke to a loud bang. I thought it was one of the cats and went to check, but the TV had crashed into the wall and she was completely dazed,” you said quietly, not objecting when Jinyoung gently led you to the couch and pressed you down until you sat before he crouched down in front of you.

“She’s completely fine, well, a few bruises are going to come up, but I was just so scared. I keep having these moments where I get complacent with Mum’s illness and then she declines and something like this happens and I just—” Tears welled in your eyes and he reached forward to brush them aside, your watery gaze connecting with his. “It’s only going to get worse.”

“With time. Your mother has plenty of time still.”

“I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I could barely sleep worrying something would happen as she rested. I’ve made plans to move my things out to the study nook so I can be right there if she needs me. I’m going to have to monitor her closely. It all feels so overwhelming.”

“You should have rung me. I would have come over immediately. “

You sighed, nodding softly. “I wanted you there.”

“You needed me,” he corrected, and you nodded a second time.

“I always need you. I worry the strain I’m holding will end up breaking you when I lean on you.”

Slapping a shoulder, Jinyoung cracked a grin. “Why do you think I built these up?”

It delighted him when a small, exasperated smile curled up your lips. “You fool.”

“You need me at any time of the day or night, and you know I’ll be there.”

“Really?”

“What are boyfriends for if they can’t promise that?”

“To look pretty and carry heavy things?” You pretended to ponder, and Jinyoung tsked loudly before reaching for your hands, rubbing the coolness out of them.

“I don’t ever want to let you stress to the point of crashing into me like that again. But if it does happen, I’ll catch you, okay?”

“You’ll catch me?” you repeated, eyes wide with emotion.

His throat felt tight as he nodded. “Every damn time.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[GOT7 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist]

[bangtaninborderland]

JHS- Twisted Feelings (10)

Summary: After working at an award show for 2 years everything had become normal, idols were no longer exciting to see, performances became dull and every day blended together, that was until an unexpected man asked for your help.

Genre: idol!jhope × fem!reader, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Warning: none for this chapter!

A/N: I’m back from seeing yoongi and it was such an experience. This is kind of a filler but I love building these characters up. Did you miss twisted feelings as much as I missed writing it?

Ch.09 < Series Masterlist > Ch.11

You woke up later than expected, Na-Rae not leaving until 1 am definitely being a bad idea. You were thankful for the late night/early morning shower you had taken which allowed you to get ready in half the time you usually would.

Today was Yoongis day, you would be lying if you said you were excited. At first, he seemed to be easy to have a conversation with but the recent events with the translation mishap only served to leave him suspicious of you, which admittedly is not great when you have to spend hours teaching him.

The conversation last night still bugged you, keeping secrets was never your thing especially when it came to work and your career but Rae had made a few good points on just why the Jung-Woo story had to remain a secret. No company would want a near murderer to work with their most precious assets.

The company lacked the reporters that Jungkook had mentioned swarming the building yesterday, you were grateful for how quickly Bighit seemed to manage security infractions.

“I need your company ID.” The woman’s voice was familiar and you recognised her as the same woman from the day of your interview.

“Oh, of course so sorry.” You chuckled lightly hoping to break the tension as you hand over the company-issued ID, the smile she returned to you is faker than the Gucci sunglasses you chose to wear this morning at the sight of the raring sun but you brushed it off, wanting to start the day in a good mood.

Even if she was a snarky bitch.

She sighed loudly, sliding your ID pass across the desk. “You’re signed in, next time come straight to the desk with the ID please.” You gave her a nod before walking away, you were not going to lose this job by running her face along her keyboard, not today at least.

The rest of the walk was quiet, a few idols passing by giving you small nods and others completely ignoring your existence. You were fine with both, too tired to care.

“Where’s your smile this morning?” You were not expecting Hoseok to come up behind you, his touch on your shoulder making you physically jump.

“HOLY SH-“ you turned to face him, calming at the sight of him and quickly composing yourself. “Hoseok-ssi.”

He tried to hold his laughter in but failed, his eyes creasing. “Sorry sorry I’ll warn you next time, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You lied, forcing a small smile.

“Would you like to get some coffee? There’s a machine around here.” His face was warm and for some reason you wish you didn’t have to decline.

“I have a class with Yoongi-ssi. I’m already short on time.”

“I’m sure Hyung won’t mind, I’ll call him now besides he was stressed and stuck on a song anyway so you probably would sit waiting for a while anyway. Only if you want of course.” He pulled out his phone waving as if tipping the scales on your decision.

You held up your hands in agreement. “Okay…but only and I mean only if he is okay with it, I would like to try and be a little happier for my class with him especially if he is having a stressful day.”

He nodded at you, grinning as if he had just won some kind of award. It left you wondering if he was truly like this with everyone. “He said it’s fine.”

“Lead the way.”

The walk there was pleasant, similar to the last time you had gone together. Hoseok made small conversations, mostly about random information he had learned about the world and his craft. His eyes seemed to hold a particular shine when he mentioned the fun they had on tour, the story of how they would pick rooms when they were unable to have one to themselves making you double over in laughter.

“Here let me.” You swiped your card, paying for both yours and Hoseoks' coffee.

“Oh.” He took the cup, eyeing you as he stirred in the sugar. “You didn’t have to do that we get them free.”

“Still, my treat. I’m happy to pay, you got the last one.” You added your own milk, stirring it before wrapping a tissue around the cup. “I’m going to get ready for my class with Yoongi-ssi, even if he is working I should be there when he finishes to start whenever he is ready.”

“You take your work very seriously, don’t you?”

You smiled, nodding. “I do, I think if you commit to something it should be taken seriously even on hard days or days you don’t want to do that particular thing.”

He hums, his lips pressed together in a hard line. “What do you think about giving up?”

“Giving up on?” You responded, sipping at the froth of your coffee.

“Anything.”

“I think in order to give up you must be brave enough to face what happens when you do, many people find a weakness in it but I find something admirable. I also think it’s okay to take a break, if you give up you can always try again. I think there are two sides to it because in life we want to see those around us reach a level of success that makes them happy so in some cases it’s okay to encourage people to not give up and to keep working towards their goals, giving up should never be something final. It’s okay to stop one thing if there’s something you want more.” He stared at you and you were absolutely sure you’d said way too much but before you could apologise he began to speak.

“Not many people have a mindset with views like that, I think when they get to know you more the members will like you.” He come to a stop as you reached the genius lab studio.

“Hyung?” He tapped his knuckles on the door, trying the handle to no avail.

“Wait.” Yoongis gravely voice called out, it was an easy sign he had been rapping. “I’m coming.”

The door opened and a dishevelled yoongi stood before you. “Oh shit.”

“Hyung!” Hoseok exclaimed.

Yoongis eyes shot open before he shook his head, apologising. “Sorry, I forgot we had a class. Let me just save my work.”

“It’s okay, take your time I’m here all day.” You tried to sound as reassuring as possible, not wanting to leave him feeling bad. He nodded to you before turning away, the door closing behind him.

“Sorry, it’s a busy time.” Hosoek swirls his coffee, sighing.

“You don’t seem as stressed, I thought there’d be staff running around and non-stop practices. Sorry, I don’t have much of an idea regarding behind-the-scenes stuff. Award shows are intense.” You try to laugh off some of the awkward and somewhat sad tension that fills the air, wanting to bring back the calming vibe held between you only moments ago. “Things will be okay.”

“Thank you. Give it a few weeks and it will be exactly like that, this is more of the mentally draining process. Preparing and practices are structured, it’s when the last-minute details get finalised and songs get finished, altered or scrapped. We’ve changed songs entirely a day or two before the same goes for choreography.”

You never truly understood how difficult it was for artists, especially the biggest group in the world. Sure it could be hectic at award shows and more than once you’d been privy to a group argument or mishap backstage but you’d never fully grasped the difficulties they face and you never be able to but you knew looking at Hoseoks false smile, you’d do anything to try and help. “If there’s anything I can do let me know, I know my work here is only a portion of the difficulty you face and has an entire lower level of importance but don’t hesitate to ask for something if you need it, the same goes for all the other members.”

“That’s really kind of you, I’ll pass it on to the other members. I should get going Hyung won’t be long, you’ll be okay?”

You stare stupidly for a moment before blinking “Yeah I’ll be okay, thank you for getting coffee with me.”

“Thank you for paying it was re-“The door beside you leading to Yoongis studio swings open, stopping just before it hit the wall.

“Oh, sorry.” The rapper mumbled, locking the door behind him. His previous state of stress was seemingly better.

“I’m just leaving Hyung, I’ll stop by later to go over those demos.” Hoseok gives you a smile before leaving, heading in the direction of his own studio.

Yoongi watches the younger man disappear around the corner before talking to you. “Sorry about the wait, you have an office right?”

“There’s no need for apologies it’s absolutely fine and yes I do, please follow me.” Thankfully there wasn’t much of a distance between Yoongis studio and your significantly smaller but still cute office.

The artist looks around some before taking a seat at the table. “It’s cosy here, you are allowed to decorate I’m not sure if anyone has told you that.”

“One of the managers did but I wanted to wait a little, I thought it would be better to focus on settling in and building up lessons with yourself and other members first.” You shuffled through the folders you had assembled for each member, finally finding the black one with Yoongi across the label.

“You made us folders?” He raises an eyebrow as you place it down on the table. “Colour coded too?”

“I like organisation and the colours for the most part were random.” You laughed, handing him a pen.

“So there’s no reason in particular mine is black, Jungkooks is black and Jin Hyungs is bright pink?”

“When you look at it that way.” You paused allowing the small joke you’d built up between you to linger. “Maybe you’re right, I’ll never spill my secrets when it comes to my filing process.”

“You sound like me when I would talk about my old USB sticks.” You felt relieved you were able to break the tension that had accompanied your previous meeting with one another.

“What can I say, I’m a genius.” You both laugh for a second before he begins reading over the lesson plan you handed him seconds earlier. “You said you wanted to be able to have conversations and you weren’t too happy with your pronunciation so I thought we could go over some exercises that may help you sound clearer. I also thought we could work on some vocabulary, because you don’t want to be fluent to the point you could live in a foreign country I think just relearning basic sentence structure and vocabulary should be enough.”

He scanned the sheet, “You really were thorough with this, to be honest when Hobi pulled you out of a job to be a translator I had more than one worry. I’m glad to see you taking this seriously.”

“He didn’t exactly pull me out of a job.” You laughed, handing him a highlighter. “My contract was nearing its end and it gave me an opportunity to have time to write and work.”

“What do you write?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

“Stories mostly, anything my imagination can conjure. I like creating a world I can escape to, where anyone can escape to even just for a short while. It’s nothing special I’m just trying to have a book published.” You laugh lightly, attempting to brush off the sudden embarrassment.

“I think that’s similar to music, I love reading I think it’s admirable you’re following your passion.” You were happy the atmosphere between you felt calmer, and he too seemed to be less stressed.

“Thank you.” You often wondered why people would do something that stressed them out to such a degree of devotion but you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t understand, when you love doing something you accept whatever it comes with.

He placed the sheet down, uncapping the pen. “Should we start?”

“Sure, whenever you’re ready.”

Whenever you were teaching time never felt slow, you were used to that. Work being slow all the time despite the fast-paced environment but here it wasn’t like that, it was too fast nor too slow but time seemed to fly away which is how you were surprised when the alarm yoongi had set went off, declaring the end of the class.

You’d spent the two hours discussing conversational English, mostly things he already had an idea of but needed the specifics clarifying. He had attempted to speak English for half of the class but gave up when his memory of the language came to a standstill.

“Already? Did I set the alarm wrong?” You knew the question wasn’t directed at you as he picked his phone up, double-checking the time. “How did I do?” He turned to you, sliding the exam-style sheet back.

“You did well especially for your first class, don’t be overwhelmed by the vocabulary or speaking even. These things take time and you have to take them slowly. For an English speaker to become fluent in Korean it can take up to five years, we have an advantage because most of the time it’s taught in school, you have an extra advantage on top of that because of your continued exposure to the language. Things like vocabulary and pronunciation are easy compared to grammar and you seem to already have a great idea of that. So my overall rating is that you’re making my job very easy.”

“Maybe I should ask you to make me a report card to show my parents.” He laughs, standing up.

You follow suit, walking towards the door to open it. “If you need one let me know, I’ll even stamp it.”

“Yes, teacher.” He laughed. “Thank you for the class.”

“Please don’t thank me.”

“What are you doing here,” Yoongi asked, his voice pitched in surprise.

You greet both Taehyung and Hoseok as they step around into the doorway. “Here to pick you up Hyung, Namjoon says you’re needed for the army track.”

Yoongi shifted his feet, shaking his head. “What happened? I thought we were finished with that song already.”

“We were but Namjoon Hyung hit the wrong button and now it sounds funky rather than family,” Taehyung responded, laughing.

“It’s not that serious, we just need your input to make sure it’s back where it was.” Hoseok responds, seemingly calming Yoongis' sudden worry. “How was the class?”

You don’t realise the question is directed at you until the room falls silent. You look up from the patch on the floor to see three sets of eyes on you. “Oh, OH forgive me I’m so sorry I spaced out. It was an amazing lesson, Yoongi-ssi is an exceptionally fast learner.”

“Ah Hyung I’m proud.” Taehyung slaps his hand over his chest, pursing his lips together as he fake cries. “Is this what proud mothers feel like?”

“Why a proud mother why not a proud father?” Hoseok asks, thrown off by the comment.

“Because it’s Taehyung. Come on let’s go.” Yoongi turns to you, saying a quick goodbye. “Thank you for the class once again.”

“Literally any time.” You respond, waving them all out.

They leave in a hurry and suddenly the busy room is left with you and you alone. You just about sit down before your phone busses with a notification.

You can’t help but smile at the new text from Hoseok that reads:

JHS: “Your job isn’t unimportant nor is it easy. Have a good day.”

[helpfandom]

Yandere Stobotnik x Platonic Reader Chapter 1: Chilling

Cross posted on Quotev, I am picking this back up!

The morning light shone through the windows, directly hitting you in the eye as you woke up to a shower that could be heard through out the house. Tom was taking a morning shower before his shift would start, and Maddie was preparing her yoga space for her morning routine. Ozzy was laying at your feet, he had spent the night sleeping with you. Out of the humans, it seemed like they were all active in the house, except you, you just stared at your ceiling for 30 minutes until you had mustered enough energy to get out of bed and get dressed.

As you started figuring out your outfit, Maddie walked in the house, yelling "Good Morning!", You could hear Tom finishing his shower as well. You quickly opted to grab whatever you saw and put it on, causing you to wear a mismatched outfit, which didn't feel right, but this was a safe place so it was okay. As you walked down the stairs and into the kitchen and living downstairs area, Maddie was finishing up making breakfast for you, Tom and her. 

She put the plate of waffles down in front of you and in front of her chair, and slipped a piece of meat to Ozzy before sliding into her honorary seat at the table, She brought Tom some donuts she bought yesterday. You meticulously made sure that the waffle had butter in every square hole before eating -it would feel wrong if it didn't have butter-, and Maddie ate hers with a little bit of butter. You ate in comfortable silence with each other. The air didn't feel thick, or like it was forced. It was a pleasant morning, and not much could be heard of the outside over everybody eating their breakfast.

There was knocking on the door, a polite knock like someone who knew that he was welcome, but still knocked anyway. It was Wade, as he liked to carpool with Tom while driving down into the town together. Tom gave a kiss to Maddie on the cheek and went out to the front door. You waved at Wade -it felt to uncomfortable to not be wearing the right clothes to greet someone further than a wave-, and yelled out a "Bye!" to Tom before he closed the door. 

"So what are you planning on doing today?" Maddie queried to you before taking a sip from her glass of water. "W- well, I was planning on going d- down to the library later today when I walk Ozzy, a- and maybe watching a movie or something." You said, still a little bit anxious about being in the wrong clothes to see people. "That sounds good to me, You feeling okay?" You felt a little off, like something big was going to happen, but that could be that you were going to school soon. "I f- feel okay. Just a little anxious cause' I was in the wrong clothes." 

She looked up at you in pitying eyes. Both her and Tom didn't know how to help when these things happened, and you didn't know how help yourself, so it was hard to know what to do for everybody. "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you going to be okay for now though?" You sat down the fork with the second to last bite on your plate, and replied,  "I think so, I don't want to bother you or anything. I'll be fine." She looked away and towards her plate, which was now empty. "Okay, if you say so." 

She got up and picked both plates up and took them over to the sink, where she asked you to wash the dishes while they were gone. "I'm going to go to work now, Have a nice day." You hugged her, and said "Have a nice day." She left, leaving you alone in the house with Ozzy.

You checked the time, 6:34. You could probably watch a few episodes before Ozzy needed to go pee, or you could get started on the dishes. You chose to get started on the dishes, that way you had free time for the rest of the day, and could watch without guilt. You then got changed into the correct clothes ,at around 7:12 you finished, which was good timing, because then Ozzy needed to go. You took Ozzy out for walk, and stopped by the library when you walked into town. You leashed Ozzy to the nearby bike rack, and walked into the library.

One of your favorite smells, the smell of old books and dust quickly assaulted your nose. The teen at the front desk looked up from her book and waved to you, the button that said He / She on his shirt reflected into your eyes for a moment as he waved. "Hey, came here to talk?" You walked over, and shook your head. "No, I'm here for a few books, Ozzy is waiting outside for me." He clicked her tongue, "Aww. You know I miss you, right?" You chuckled, "Of course, I'm awesome, Why wouldn't you miss me?" She rolled his eyes, "Whatever, what you checkin' out this time?" "I don't know, any updates on the series?" He shook her head. "No, unfortunately." You sighed, "What a shame, well I gotta go find the books and get going soon  or someone may steal Ozzy." "Alright."

You roamed around the library, checking out a few books that caught your eye, albeit you knew you probably wouldn't finish them in time. You checked out quickly, and unleashed Ozzy from the bike rack when you walked out of the library. In the corner of your eye you could see a duck with a bagel in it's mouth. Weird. You walked around a little bit, but you decided to go back to the house at around 9:23.

You and Ozzy walked up the gravel pathway to the house, a couple books in one hand, his leash in the other. You opened the front door and saw a flash of blue momentarily. You blinked a couple times but didn't see anything. Well, if there was something, you were sure that Ozzy would have barked or something of the sort. You unleashed Ozzy and he jumped onto the couch to lie down. 

You set the books down in your room, and you stared at them deciding which to read first. You decided to go for the one on the top, because it was the book that wasn't part of a series -or at least, you hoped wasn't- and finished reading both books at around lunchtime. You walked down the stairs and made yourself a sandwich along with some chips. 

You plopped down on the couch pretty hard by accident which woke Ozzy up, so you scratched his head in apology. You then, washed your hands again because you didn't want dog fur getting in your mouth. You turned on the television to Yes Man and ate your lunch. 

As you watched, you started to notice something in the window via the reflection of the television. You started staring intently, as it was some weird looking thing that was blue. What if that was the thing I saw earlier? You turned around to face it and momentarily caught some weird looking hedgehog thing. Ozzy got spooked when you got up quickly, suspicious of what was going on.

You ran outside with Ozzy in tail behind you, and could see the thing run away. You ran after it saying, "I SAW YOU!"  "NO! YOU DIDN'T!" You stopped running, out of breath from doing mostly nothing but sitting down all summer at the computer. Ozzy stuck by you, waiting for his owner to catch their breath. You decided to ask Tom or Maddie about what happened, depending on who came home first.

You waited for your nerves to calm down before trying to do anything, and decided that watching TubeYou was a good idea to get calmer. You got distracted by the talk of "Why Yandere's are bad and You shouldn't romanticize it ..." You fell down a rabbit hole of yandere content, which caused you to lose sense of time. Soon, you heard Maddie yelling about an envelope.

"Whoo! San Francisco police department wrote back!" You clambered down the stairs, wanting to know more. Maddie turned to you, "It's a small envelope, which means it's good, right? Or is that just college letters?" You smiled, infected by her happiness, "I think it applies to both?" She slapped the letter down on the kitchen island, and the announced to you: "I will go grab some cakes, tell him to wait if he gets back before me." 

She shut the door as she left, leaving you alone for a second time in the day. You walked over to the letter, interested. You looked it over, it seemed like this could change your life, was that the weird vibe I have been feeling all day? Did some part of me know that this letter would arrive today?

You mentally shrugged and sat back down on the couch, unpausing where you left off. Soon, you could hear Maddie getting back to the house. You ran outside to help her, where she gratefully handed you one of the cakes to carry inside. You put the cakes in the cabinet inside the kitchen island -so it would be a surprise for Tom- and Maddie got onto her laptop to pull up apartments in San Francisco.

You decided to ask her about the hedgehog thing that you saw earlier. "Hey, Maddie?" She hummed what sound like a yes, so you kept going. "H- Have you seen anything weird lately?" She titled her head to think about it. "No, I don't think so, Have you?" You started to fidget with your fingers, "W- Well, I saw this thing in the window, a-and it kind of looked like a h-hedgehog?" She turned to look at you better, "Hmm. I wonder what it was then, do you remember more about it?" "It was blue, and a little anthropomorphic, like it was kind of human looking, but it had too big of eyes, and hedgehog spikes in the back of the head." She tapped her lip in curiosity, "Maybe it was aliens?" She wanted to give you an answer, but that was the best she could do. "M -Maybe, it was." You joked, it hardly calmed you to know that she didn't know what it could be. "Let's ask Tom about it." She agreed, and went back to looking for places to stay.

You went and sat back down at the couch with Ozzy laying beside you, you mindlessly pet his head while reading fanfiction. After a few hours, and around ~6:21, Tom pulled into the driveway. The gravel was crunchy underneath the tires, and he could be heard yelling at the racoons. Ozzy jumped up from the couch to greet Tom at the front door. "Leave them alone, Tom. They're not doing anything." Maddie scolded him. Tom, feels differently about the racoons. "They are eating from our trash, you have nothing to say about that?" Maddie put her hands to her hips, "They have to, Tom." He held his hand up as if he was swearing, "I promise I will be nicer to the racoons, Okay?" She pursed her lips, "Okay."

She then showed him the letter that arrived earlier, "Open it Tom, We've been dying all day to know!" You closed down what you were reading, and greeted him with a hug. "Yeah, Open it." "It's small, is that bad?" Make a that's what she said joke. "No, I don't think so, Tom, think about college admission letters." You said to calm his worries.

He stood at the kitchen island -you all had moved to be more comfy-, and opened it. You drifted a little bit thinking of San Francisco, but you quickly stopped. "...Pending background check" You cheered along with Maddie who said: "You got the job, Baby!" And she flipped open the cake box to reveal a cake that had the Golden Gate Bridge on fire with the words "Forget those losers, San Francisco sucks!" "San Francisco sucks?" You giggled a little bit, which earned you a dirty look from Maddie. 

"Oops, Sorry." She brought out the other cake which said "I never had a doubt" and featured Tom as a San Francisco police officer. Tom gave her a little smirk, "Never had a doubt, huh?" She smiled back, "Nope, never had a doubt that you would be taken by the police department." Tom sat down at the table. "Pending background check." He pointed to her in defense. As she sat down, she said "Oh no, I hope they don't find out about the time you used the neighbors Wi-Fi." She said in mock concern, amused that Tom thinks that he won't be taken in. "Correction, Still using the neighbors Wi-Fi." You piped up, "Correction, We're still using the neighbors Wi-Fi." 

"Ah, that makes more sense now." Maddie said. A moment of silence happened, which caused you to think that you killed the mood, and then Tom announced "Well, this is cause for celebration. Olive Garden and Hot Fuzz?" You voiced your agreement, to the choices, and got your favorite food and drink from Olive Garden.  You watched Hot Fuzz and other action movies well into the night, enjoying yourselves and life.

Then, Maddie dropped the ball that she had to catch a plane ride to San Francisco in the morning, so she wouldn't be there when you woke up. You looked at her in shock, "What? Where will you stay?" She replied, "I'll stay at Rachel's with Jojo and her." Tom also looked a little surprised, but not by much, as he slightly expected this from Maddie. "Okay, what time do I need to drive you there?" "3 o' clock." You sat up in alarm, "O- oh, It's like 1 in the morning, you need to get packing Maddie." You got up quickly and started pacing from an overwhelming sense of dread. "You're right, and you need to go to sleep, do you want us to wake you up when I leave?" Tom stated and asked, "N- No, I'll see you again, it's not like we're going to be apart for a long time, unless you want me to hug you bye?" She laughed slightly, "No, sweetie, it's okay. You're right, we'll see each other again, so you should catch up on your sleep."

You hugged her before saying "Good Night." and heading to your room. You looked at the ceiling, anxious for what's to come of your life. You couldn't sleep with all of your intrusive and anxious thoughts, so you settled for tossing and turning all night. Eventually, however, you felt your eyes burn from exhaustion and you closed your eyes.

A flash of blue appeared, and there was a power outage, which you knew cause your nightlight turned off, Tom quickly ran in and assured you it was probably nothing and he was going to take care of it.

You closed your eyes again.

The 

        Last

                Thing

                        You

                                Saw

                                        Was 

                                                Vermillion.

[acesbelovedwife]

Warmth part 2/?

Portgas D Ace x fem reader who can't feel heat

10,1k characters

Part one here!

Masterlist

Ace woke up with a big headache groaning from the pain, he tried to get up but he felt something heavy not allowing him to do so. He looked down and saw you asleep cuddling up to his torso, he blinked not trying to think why is there a half naked woman next to him in his bed. He looked again realizing he was also almost naked only having his boxers on, he looked at you again and his face turned into pure terror, he didn't remember much from last night, he remembered you and why you were here, but what happened after he got wasted? "I didn't do anything right?" He thought in panic while you stirred awake and looked up at him in awe, you weren't able to get a good look at his body last night since it was so dark and you were tired but now that you're awake you can see everything clear. His muscular chest with a six pack that was perfectly shown right before you in the morning light, you caught yourself staring at him and looked away in embarrassment. You just met him yesterday. "..why am I only in my boxers?" Ace slowly spoke scared of what your response will be, you got confused for a second but then remembered "oh! You passed out yesterday so I thought I'll take off your pants so you'll be more comfortable" you explained smiling brightly at him, Ace sighed in relief thanking god he didn't do anything more... inappropriate. Though he still blushed at the fact you undressed him, now he knew why he was almost naked but there was still the mystery of why you are only in your bra and panties "so um.. how come you are only in your underwear?" He asked covering his face from you, you blushed slightly "I couldn't find any shirts so I just decided to just go to sleep in my underwear, normally I wouldn't do it since it would be too cold for that. But with you it's always warm!" you quickly explained to him while he groaned from the situation you both were in "what if someone found you like that?" He thought to himself, he doesn't even wanna know he would probably bury himself if that would've happened. You started feeling cold again so you got closer to him sitting on his lap and put you hands around him nuzzling your face in his chest. Ace was taken by surprise by your bold move but he quickly understood you were just cold, the position did fluster him though. You were sitting on his lap.. while you were both only in your underwear, his mind started going places so he quickly pulled you away "we should get up, Thatch probably made breakfast already" he said putting on his pants on along with his hat and necklace, you quickly followed him putting back on your clothes. "You probably have more clothes at your house, we could go pick the up today before we sail out.." he said looking away "sure" you said as you grabbed his hand startling him, he still didn't get used to it, but it was probably just a matter of time before he does.

Both you and Ace entered the dining hall and everyone's attention immediately turned towards you, you heard few whistles as some of the crew mates saw you hugging his arm making Ace blush. You both ate breakfast, Ace passed out once scaring you to death thinking he died but quickly got informed it was normal. Many crew mates were either asking you to s of questions or just act jealous of Ace. You both sat next to Marco and Izo, sadly Thatch was still in the kitchen so he couldn't join you. "So, what are your plans for today Y/n" Izo asked glancing at Ace from time to time who was still embarrassed by the whole situation "Ace suggested to pick up my stuff from my house before we sail out, so that's all I have planned for now" you answered munching on your food. "That means you have tons of free time, how about we go out? I would like to get to know you-" "no" Ace cut the guy off making Marco raise an eyebrow at his stern voice. "I-I mean, I need to be with Y/n so she won't get sick again so she shouldn't go out without me" he quickly added realizing what he just said. "Why did I got so worked up about this?" He thought to himself, you finished eating and poked his arm bringing him back to reality "you wanna go now? I could show you around the town if you want" you said giving him a soft smile which made him blush once more "s-sure" he answered cursing himself for stuttering at your cuteness. Marco meanwhile was analyzing Ace this whole time smirking to himself knowing what was going inside of his head, he was surely gonna tell Thatch about that, too bad he was busy in kitchen. He missed quite the show.

"Do you wanna go get the stuff first or see the town?" You asked looking up to meet Ace's eyes "how about we get your things first, then can leave them here and we could check out the town without having to worry about them later" he suggested to which you nodded happily. You can spend more time with him, for some reason there's something about him that makes you want to be with him all the time, maybe it's his personality that attracts you to him. Or maybe it's that freckled smile he gives you all the time... Either way you showed him the way to your small house on the outskirts of the small town. On your way Ace noticed a lot of people staring at you and whisper something, he ignored it at first but then a couple of girls bumped into you saying sorry but laughing right after it. At this point he felt like he was about to explode he was so angry, why are people acting like that towards you, he wasn't imagining it right? He took your hand seeing you look at the ground. His action made you look at him in shock, he saw tears building up in you eyes so he held your hand tighter. "Ace?" You asked confused but he just kept walking not wanting to make things worse, he knows he would just end up making things worse if he lets him emotions get the best of him.

"Care to explain?" He asked sitting down on your couch. You finally arrived at your house, it was small but cosy. You were going through your drawers as he asked you the question making you stop. "What?" You asked confused what did he mean by that, explain what? "Why are the townspeople such assholes to you?" He got to the point making you look away from him and started going through your stuff again "I don't know what you're talking about" you awkwardly laughed making him sigh "I might be stupid, but not that much to see something isn't right here". You looked at him, his expression was sad, you didn't like seeing him frown like that. You wanted him to smile again.. like he always did. You thought for a second, there's no point in hiding it, he would find out sooner or later. "It's because I can't feel heat. I'm an anomaly to them, since I was little it was like that. The kids would even pour boiling water on me just for fun that's why I have few burn scars on my body. Even right now that I'm older people avoid me as if I was a plague.." Ace clenched his fists from anger, why would anyone to that?! And how did he not saw anything earlier, is he really that blind. He was angry at himself, it's not like you were hiding the scars too. Just because someone has a different body temperature or they can't feel warmth doesn't mean they're a monster. You went back to rummaging through another drawer as you saw him get upset at what he just heard. It was probably better to leave him be, if you said anything more he would probably just burn the whole town.

You were deep in thought when you felt arms wrap around your stomach. Ace walked up to you and gave you a big hug resting his chin on your shoulder "they're all idiots" he grumbled in annoyance making you chuckle. You turned around and hugged him back keeping him close. It felt so nice and warm with him you didn't want to let go. "Don't worry, it doesn't bother me as much anymore" you reassured him "liar" he whispered into the crook of you neck making you chuckle, he was right. But you didn't want to think about that anymore, "how about we don't go back to the town" he murmured "sure, I know a place we could go to. How do you feel about a picnic?" You asked running your fingers through his hair. "sounds good to me".

You put your stuff back on the ship and shortly after you went out again. "Are we there yet?" Ace whined for the millionth time, you couldn't blame him though. You were both walking for almost an hour now and he was surely starving by now. "Don't worry, we're almost there. Just few meters and we can relax" you said as you saw him lighten up at your words giving you that cute smile again. As you arrived Ace just stared in awe at the sight you both saw before you. It was a beautiful flower field in the middle of the big forest you went through "Holy shit, how did you even found this place y/n?" He asked still gawking with his mouth open "one day I just decided to explore the forest a little bit more and stumbled over this flower field" you replied putting the blanket on the grass carefully to not accidentally destroy any flowers. You took out the food and laughed a bit at Ace still admiring the view "are you gonna eat or can I have everything?" You teased Ace putting him out of his thoughts. You both ate quickly, being hungry from all the walking.

You hummed a song as you picked up some flowers and started making a flower crown out of them. Ace was watching your concentrated face the whole time admiring your face. It would sometimes turn into a cute pout when a flower fell out, when you finished making the flower crown you looked towards Ace and caught him staring at you. When your eyes met he realized he was staring and looked away quickly blushing furiously. He was blushing so hard you could see his ears turn red, it was adorable. You put the flower crown on his head making him look at you again. He was still blushing, the flower crown fit him perfectly "you look so beautiful" you blurted out quickly covering your mouth in embarrassment "I mean, the flower crown looks beautiful on you, not you. I mean, you're beautiful, handsome, a very attractive man but that's not what I meant!" You spoke fast, you wanted to bury yourself at what just came out of your mouth, Ace just started laughing while still blushing "well thank you! I didn't expect that!" he kept on laughing while you were sulking at what just happened. Ace just pulled you close by putting his arm around you "c'mon it's alright, you don't have to get all embarrassed!" He said through laughing "am I really that beautiful y/n?" He teased making you groan "you're never gonna leave it are you?" "Nope~" he smirked. "I hate you" "no you don't" he smiled ruffling your hair. "Could you teach me how to make those?" He pointed at the flower crown to which you nodded happily.

He was a bit clumsy so you grabbed his hand and guided him through it making him slightly blush at the fact you both were so close. After a little bit he got the hang of it so you let go of his hand and watched him work on the flower crown. When he finally finished, the sun was already setting down, "it's not as pretty as yours.. but here" he put the flower crown on your head making you smile "what do you mean? For the first time it looks amazing, looks better than my first try for sure!" You said smiling brightly, it made him happy to hear that, you both were enjoying the time together and joking around but it was getting dark so you both decided to go back to the ship. On your way there you started getting sleepy so Ace gave you a piggyback ride still not completely sure if you were supposed to walk so much in the first place, he was worried about you but he also didn't want to risk getting his ass kicked by Marco.

By the time you arrived to the Moby Dick you were already asleep. "Where the hell were you both?" Marco whispered noticing you were asleep on Ace's back "we were having a picnic" Ace whispered back shrugging. Izo noticed the flower crowns on both of your heads and smiled to himself. "Put her in the bed, we're gonna set sail" Marco said walking away.

Ace tucked you in to the bed, he had the sudden urge to give you a kiss, you looked so cute to him. He gave you a kiss right next to your lips pulling away blushing "why did I do that" he thought to himself, he quickly left the room quietly praying you were still asleep. When you heard the door close you quickly sat up trying to comprehend what just happened, so many things were going through your head at the same moment your head started hurting. You surely won't be able to fall asleep any time soon that's for sure. "Why did he kiss me?"

Next part here!

Man I don't know where this is going xd. Sorry for any mistakes, english is my second language. I hope you enjoyed reading ♡

[arminsumi]

City Lights

Oneshot / Aki Hayakawa

Devil hunting didn't really interest you, but the paycheck did. Makima assigned you to be Aki's partner, which irritated the both of you. Your personalities oppose each other so much that it's almost comical. Maybe that's just what both of you need, a distraction from the daily madness.

Cws; angst, a bit of a turbulent relationship, might have more parts if I'm not lazy!

Notes on Y/n; AFAB! + gn!

Your new life in Tokyo quickly developed a dull pattern. Every day, without fail, you woke up at 7:00 AM; washed the tiredness out of your face, grabbed a coffee, then dozed on the train, and mournfully arrived at work.

It wasn't until Makima made you and Aki partners that life became flavorful again. Though, it wasn't the best-tasting flavor, since your personalities conflicted terribly. It was like the aroma of a home cooked meal that turned out to be bland to the taste.

Comparing Aki to a poorly cooked dish was genius in your mind; he was lacking seasonings but not sustenance. Sometimes the feeling he emitted was enough to make you feel good in his company.

But then he always said something that would bother you.

"Don't get in my way, and I won't get in yours."

That was the first thing he told you after exiting Makima's office and being assigned as your partner.

There were a lot of things you disliked about him. For one it was his cold temperament, but by far, what irked you the most, was probably...

"Do you have to smoke, Aki?" You sighed after waving the smoke away from your face.

You were settled into a seat by the cafe nearest to today's devil case.

He didn't respond, only exhaled a cloud of white in your direction. It made your heart flutter in anger.

"Your lungs are gonna go black, you know." You said, almost like a mother exasperatedly lecturing her son.

Aki almost laughed, because right then you were just like how he used to be with Himeno.

You frowned on as he dragged on his cigarette, but then when your coffee was brought to the table, your mood shot up. And, soon, your lethargy dispersed at the command of caffeine.

The scents of smoke and coffee beans swirled inside your lungs. There was a calm stillness about the cafe; any thought could be carried out with ease, there was absolutely no rush to think. You got lost in the capacity of your own mind. It felt like for a second your life wasn't a mad whirlwind.

But then Aki's voice disrupted the tranquility, and he asked, "Did you say something to Makima?"

You furrowed your brows, "Say something? Like what?"

"She said to me yesterday that she's 'glad to see us getting along'. I don't know what she could have possibly meant by that." He said.

You thought back to the last time Makima had called you into her office.

She had simply pasked you if you minded Aki being your partner, but she had asked it in in such a way that required a positive response, lest her eerie gold eyes reprimand you.

"I guess she misinterpreted me the other day." You shrugged, "All I said was that I'm fine with being your partner."

Aki scoffed in a way that made his Addam's apple move attractively, "You're fine with being my partner? Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

"What truth?" You tilted your head at him, "We're becoming quick friends, Aki. I think you might even end up being my favorite person!"

He inhaled deeply and let out the breath with one of the most exasperated sighs you've ever heard. Then he looked leftward out the window and proceeded to pay you no more attention than an insect crawling on the sidewalk.

All you could do was frown at the heavy atmosphere and sip the remnant of your coffee, though there was only enough liquid in the cup to wet your lips.

Afternoon light glared in through the frail windows and flooded the cafe with a stark lighting. Everything felt unsaturated.

Unsaturated, and cold. Like the coldness that you found in Aki's eyes.

[sydneejean]

Lost Track Of Time — 2

Summary: The morning after, Jake and Bradley comforting the reader and giving her the best day ever

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, POV switching, showering together (not sexual)

Pairing: hangman x fem!reader x rooster

Word Count: 1,340

Part 1

Y/N:

10:00

That was the time when I woke up. Still wrapped up with my two lovers in our shared bed. All one tangle where you couldn’t tell where one of us ended and the other started. I groaned at the sunlight streaming through the window, that’s probably what woke me up. I buried my face farther into Bradley’s chest as to get away from the the daylight.

All of the sudden, I feel Jake’s arms tighten around me, pulling me closer, and his breathing deepen. I flip my body so I’m then facing him and plant small, loving kisses on his chest. “Good morning baby” I speak quietly so I don’t wake Bradley.

“Good morning sunshine, how did you sleep?”

“Not long enough” I cheekily smile up at him as he breathes a deep laugh, pulls me closer, and presses a lingering kiss into my hair, inhaling my scent.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, baby girl, I really am,” he apologizes for the thousandth time.

I smile against his chest, nuzzle in closer than physically possible, and mumble “I know you are baby, but it’s okay, you made up for it, both of you did.” That makes him smile. We lay there for a little bit, letting Bradley sleep, Jake tracing small shapes into my hips, me playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Both of us perfectly content with our lives at the moment.

10:45

Jake and I are still holding each other when I hear Bradley’s breath hitch, and feel his arms tighten around the both of us. He groans and puts his face into the pillow underneath us. I giggle slightly and jake moves his hand up to run it through Bradley’s hair. “Good morning my loves” rumbles through his chest as he blissfully enjoys Jake and I’s presence.

“Good morning baby” we both say at the same time which makes all of us giggle.

“How long have you two been up?”

“Not long, 30 ish minutes maybe” I flip over once more and snuggle in closer to Brad’s chest as Jake whines and follows my retreating form, shuffling closer to both of us. I look up to find both of my boys locked in a loving kiss and can’t help but to smile at how happy they are.

“Okay boys, I have to take a shower before we do anything today” a collective groan was heard and then they both smothered me in between them. I laughed before attempting to wiggle out of their hold, eventually succeeding after a few minutes. I get out of bed only to watch my boys shuffle toward each other for warmth.

I make my way to our shared bathroom and start preparing to take my shower. I get in and bask under the warmth of the water closing my eyes as it relaxes my muscles, releasing the tension from last night. Too caught up in the warm water, I didn’t hear the bathroom door open or my boys giggling as they both got in the shower with me. Not noticing they were there until I feel two pairs of arms wrap around my waist and a head on each of my shoulders “what are you two doing?” I giggle at their antics and run my hands through their hair.

Jake:

I let out a content sigh feeling y/n running her fingers through my now wet hair, just standing there holding her. “We just wanted to hold you some more baby.” I answered her with a cheeky smile on my lips. I kiss her cheek closest to me and continue to pepper her face with my kisses, her giggling as I do so. I join y/n in running my hand through Bradley’s hair and he gives us a contented groan. Letting go of her, I grab her shampoo and start lathering it in my hands so that I can wash her hair properly while she does the same for Bradley

“Baby, don’t fall asleep on me” comes a joking scold from y/n to Bradley

“But you’re so comfy and soft, sunshine” is mumbled back, which makes me chuckle

I give her a “Sweetheart, he’s right you know” which makes her shake her head at our antics. Once i finish washing her hair I pull her back under the spray of the water to gently rinse it out, which in turn means she gets the soap out of Brad’s hair. I take a moment to engrave this morning into my brain, promising myself to never forget it. Wondering to myself how in the world I got not just one, but two amazing partners for life. I know for a fact I’m never leaving these two.

I’m broken out of my thoughts by a “whatcha thinkin’ bout baby?” coming from Bradley

“The two most important people in my life, and how I got so incredibly lucky that they both love me as much as I love them”

“Awe” is all I get as y/n turns in our arms, wraps her arms around my neck and buries her head into the crook of my neck. I smile at her and give her a kiss on the head. Then I turn to look at Bradley who is staring at me with such an intense gaze that I can’t help but to kiss him. After our kiss I lean my forehead against his, eyes closed, basking in the love we all have for each other. “We should do something today” I faintly hear from below me

“Yeah? Like what sunshine?” I reply

“Beach day?” Comes from Bradley

“Ohh that sounds fun” y/n counters as she picks her head up from my chest and her eyes light up. I can never say no to those eyes

“Alright, beach day it is my loves, let go get ready” we finish up our shower and go to start getting ready for the beach. I give y/n a weird look when she starts to blow dry her hair

“What? Why are you looking at me like that” she giggles out

“Honey… why are you blow drying your hair if we’re about to go to the beach… and get our hair wet?” I shoot back with a smile

“Becauseeeee, it’s weird to show up to the beach with wet hair!”

“Alright then, I’m gonna go make us some sandwiches”

Y/N:

11:15

I finish up blow drying my hair and put my bikini on. Walking out to the kitchen, I see my boys standing at the island holding each other with three sandwiches in baggie on the counter. “Cuddling without me boys?”

“Yeah, well, you were busy blow drying your hair to go to the beach” Jake teased. I let out a laugh and got the cooler ready filled with water, a couple snacks, and our sandwiches. Bradley grabs towels from the linen closet while Jake grabs chairs and like that, we’re off in Bradley’s bronco to the beach. Sitting between them in the three seater front seat, leaning my back against Jake.

11:30

After a not too long car ride, we get to the beach and the boys set up the canopy. I set up my chair and sit in it with my book in hand and start reading. A few moments later I’m being hefted out of my chair into my Bradley’s arms

“Oh I don’t think so princess, we didn’t come to the beach so you could read silly” and with that he started running towards the water with the biggest smile of his face and me shrieking knowing what’s about to come.

Once we’re chest deep in the water, Bradley holds me against his chest and Jake comes from behind to hold us as well. “How could this day get any better” my thoughts accidentally coming to life

“Any day with you and Jake in my arms is the perfect day in my eyes sweetheart” Bradley grins brightly at me, leaving me to think ‘I’m the luckiest girl in the world’ as I lay my head down on his shoulder. Not caring about wasting the day or loosing track of time. As long as I’m with my boys, it’s all worth it.

—————————————————————————

A/N: here’s part two my loves! :)

Tag list:

@rosiahills22

[catastrothy]

man FUCK prednisone. terrible awful nightmare medication, most bitter and vile tasting concoction on this earth and capable of side effects from hell

i was taking it bc the virus i had made my immune system freak the fuck out and start attacking me instead of the virus

normally in the past whenever i took prednisone i would experience very little in the ways of side effects, usually just some moodiness and extra hunger. but ive had to take two courses within two months because my immune system would Not chill out and kept giving me hives all over my body even when i took allegra & pepcid twice a day+ benedryl every 4 hours or so. this second course was going fine at first but then yesterday ….. the side effects began to hit.

i felt a little woozy throughout the day and also i was VERY sleep deprived, and even taking my normal dosage of seroquel (which usually knocks me out on its own) did barely anything to let me sleep. i also had a little mental breakdown because it turns out!!! when you have bipolar !!!!! steroids can trigger mania!!!!!!!!! so on top of being sick physically i was (and am, present tense, though my meds are helping) sick MENTALLY now as well!!! for what it’s worth i do not fault the doctor who prescribed it bc we both knew the risks and decided the prednisone was worth it but damn. shit sucks

anyways today i woke up with a low body temp (96.7, lowest ive ever recorded) and had a panic attack about that because when im manic my delusions tend to center around getting sepsis or anaphylaxis so i had to call the urgent care to double check i was fine and why the hell i felt like poo poo caca and they were like “oh yeah that sounds prednisone side effects :( at least it sounds like you’re over your other infections so you can stop taking it probably!” so like. fuck prednisone i hate it it’s the worst.

also fuck you prednisone for making me think my mood stabilizers weren’t working bc i forgot prednisone triggers mania

[come-away-with-me87]

Love & Angst Chapter 4

Chapter 3 here

Note: I know I just posted chapter 3 yesterday, but I have ALL of these ideas swimming in my head. And I am just a total simp for Aizawa, what can I say?

******

You stood behind the bar and he sat on the other side, both completely silent for what felt like hours. Just staring at each other. Finally, he spoke up, "hi" in a somewhat monotone voice. Grateful he finally spoke, you responded back with a friendly hello. "You'll have to bear with me, I don't do this often. Actually, I haven't done something like this in a long time...I guess I'm rusty." He took a breath, while you stood there eagerly awaiting what he could possibly say next. "I know this seems kind of forward since we just met. But. Would...would you like to grab a coffee with me some time?"

You stood there and stared at him in complete disbelief. First of all, you were standing there in your waitress outfit, which included your dirty apron with the towel still sticking out of it, hair sticking to your forehead from sweat due running around the restaurant nonstop. You did not look cute. Second of all, he was asking you out??? What?!? The more time that passed, he was developing this somewhat defeated look on his face, and you felt badly for not saying anything sooner. "YES," you finally replied, looking straight at him. "I would like to get coffee with you."

His face didn't necessarily light up; based on his monotone voice, you actually weren't surprised. But he did have a soft smile on his face. "That's great," he replied in that same voice. He then drawled out, "I'm sure you have a busy schedule, as do I. So here's my phone number, text me sometime and we'll make plans," as he slipped you a bar napkin with his phone number on it. Before you could get another word out, he got up and swiftly walked out of the restaurant. You stood there and just gawked at the door that he walked out of.

Without missing a beat, Naomi comes strolling out of the kitchen door, "WELL WELL WELL, now what was that about?" You two just looked at each other and burst out laughing, since you knew very well that she was eavesdropping the entire time. You then went on to explain to her how you actually saw him the night before, experienced the whole tunnel vision thing, and how he just asked you out for coffee. "Damnnn," she replied, "and for him to show up here out of all of the restaurants he could have gone to in the area. I'd say that's fate!" You threw your dirty dish rag at her and just laughed some more; that may have been a bit of a stretch (or was it?). You two finished cleaning up the restaurant, and went to your respective homes.

To be honest, you wanted to text him the moment you got home. But you also didn't want to come across as overzealous. But you also didn't want him to think you weren't interested. But you also this, but you also that. You kept going back and forth. You noticed the time and realized how late it was; it would be too late to text him this time at night anyway. You decided you'd touch base sometime tomorrow. Instead, you got ready for bed, and called it a night, pretty much falling asleep the moment hit your pillow.

The next day was Sunday, and you woke up feeling nice and refreshed. Your mind instantly went to Shouta, as you looked at the bar napkin on your nightstand with his phone number scribbled on it. It was only 8:00am at that point, too early to text him. You assumed he was off today as there was no school that, but with how tired and bloodshot his eyes looked, you thought he was probably sleeping. You would text him a little later. You went about your normal morning routine.

12:00pm.

You were suddenly very nervous. After pacing back and forth in your kitchen for a solid fifteen minutes, you picked up your phone. It was only a text! He gave you his number for a reason, so why were you so nervous? You went into your living room and sat down on your couch, hoping that would calm your nerves a bit. Both of your cats came up to either side of you, both laying down and simultaneously purring. That, oddly enough, made you feel better. You picked up your phone, opened up your Messages app, and typed his number in after quadruple checking that you were entering the correct number.

Y/N: "Hey Shouta! This is Y/N, you gave me your number last night at the restaurant. How are you today?"

Then you pressed send. There, you finally did it, after all those nerves. You put your phone face down on the other side of one of the cats, and decided to turn on the television and watch something mindless. Your phone buzzed about three minutes later. You eagerly picked it up and read the text: it was friggin' Naomi. She wanted to know if you and Shouta has set up a date yet. You replied back to her that no, you didn't, but assured her you'd let her know if/when you did. You put your phone back down, and went back to watching the television, not really paying attention to what was playing. Your phone buzzed again about an hour later. You took a deep breath, and picked it up. It was him.

Shouta: "Hello, Y/N. I'm glad to hear from you. I'm doing well today. How are you?"

You couldn't help but giggle at the formality of his text message. He instantly followed up to his first message with:

Shouta: "I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Present Mic was over, and let's just say he needs the attention on him at all times."

Y/N: "Haha that's alright! I could tell he was very extroverted by the way he introduced himself last night. I was just sitting here with my cats anyway, watching some television."

S: "Oh, you have cats? How many? I like cats."

Y: "I have two. They can be little devils, but I love them"

S: "That's nice. Speaking of, have you heard about that cat cafe that they just opened downtown? They serve coffee and let you interact with and possibly adopt one of their cats."

Y: "I have heard of them! I've actually been wanting to check them out for a while now, I've just been so busy with work."

S: "Well...would you like to go there with me? Possibly later today, if you're free?"

You outwardly squealed. He wanted to see you today! You were thinking, with your schedules, that it would be a while before you would see him again, but he wanted to meet up today! You excitedly responded back to him:

Y: "I would really like that. Would you want to meet there for around 5:00pm?" (you wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to get ready)

S: "5pm sounds perfect. It's a date."

******

To be continued!

[pbandjesse]

Amazing news! The heat has come back on! It happened late this evening after we went to get some groceries. But it's not an ice box in here anymore. It's still cool, because the windows leak so much air, but it's much more comfortable.

Last night I actually slept mostly okay I wore very big fluffy hoodie my brother got me for Christmas a few years ago. It is the warmest thing for sure. Like wearing a blanket. And I did wake up cold this morning but James covered me back up and I was just fine.

I had a text from Alexi at 630 that camp was going to be closed for the day because the roads were unsafe and it was still snowing. Which was just fine with me. A free day off? Amazing.

So I slept until 9. And I felt pretty good when I woke up. I didn't want to grt out of bed but I was in a good mood and was happy to see James and Sweetp sitting in the other room. I could hear children outside laughing. James said they were the families who were attempting to sled yesterday and they were actually succeeding today. Good for them.

While I love looking at the snow, I had no desire to go outside. James would go for a very long walk around the city. And I'm glad they had fun but it was not something I wanted to do.

So after I was dressed I got cuddled up in bed with my tablet to draw. James warmed me up one of my leftover breakfast quesadillas and I had a lovely breakfast watching the world from the window and working on some drawings. I am working on my countdown project and it is just fun working on a new style.

James would leave for their walk but this was not just a fun walk through the snow. This was a walk with purpose. James was going to the bank to make the transfer for the down payment on our house. It makes me so nervous and excited I get a little nauseous. But like. That's wild! We only started this process really in October. We saw our first house on Halloween. And now we are on the eve of signing all the closing documents. It feels wild. But I'm so proud of us.

They would strike out at the first bank though. They were so busy after being closed yesterday the wait was going to be two hours. But the teller was really nice and called another branch and was able to get James in there no problem. So James's continued their walk and made the wire transfer and got the receipt and everything. And would come home before noon.

I was finishing up my drawing. And was feeling a bit tired. I was very cold. The heat was still off at this point and the space heater kept tripping and turning off. Leaving the bed felt impossible. I would just lay there and watch videos and bullshit around on my phone. I had lunch but I was just feeling. Bleh.

So eventually I decided I had to do something and I started working on the zipper pants project for my dad. Apparently he has not really been able to wear jeans since he got the prosthetic because the leg can't go over the foot. He saw a picture where someone put a zipper in the leg and that made it possible to open the zipper, put the pants on, then zip it closed. I would text him to confirm what would be more comfortable and we decided on the inside leg instead of the outside. I think it'll be easier to reach. And I cut and pinned those up. I was not up for actually sewing them because the studio was so cold but at least they are both ready to go and I'm very pleased with how they look. I will probably get those sewn up in the next week. While moving will be my first priority I will still have time. And I will get them done. And I really hope they work for him.

James would get in bed with me and they would read for a long time. And I would fall asleep. I don't think I was asleep that long. But my limbs felt heavy and weak after I woke up. James made me a peanut butter and jelly. Which did help but I was still struggling a bit.

James decided they would go to the grocery store. And I asked to come with them. Just to be out of the house for a little while.

James went down first to warm up the car. I got my shoes and my chapstick and headed down. On the drive there we discussed that Larry, the mortgage guy, sent James some documents and I was like. Why didn't I get any documents. Larry called me and I sent him an email back and he was just congratulating us and said we only need our IDs, our checkbook, the receipt from the wire transfer, and our energy and then put a smiley face and a whole bunch of exclamation points. I love how unserious everyone on our team is sometimes. Makes me feel more comfortable. I don't know why but I love that.

The grocery store was fine. We got everything we needed. We wandered around a little. We paid and headed home.

Where we found that the heat was back on and I was very excited about that.

James would take the trash down to the alley and we would start looking over the documents. We had some stress over our outstanding debts that we were able to work through understanding but it will be fine. I ended up calling my dad to explain a mistake we made but it's fixable. It also helped me sit down and work out my new budget now that we have actual numbers and I'm excited that it's $200 less then I had originally thought. So we are already doing better and I am proud of us. We will be able to have an actual emergency savings fund. And in talking to Jess we have an idea of what bank were going to use because it has a 4.5% interest. Amazing.

After going through all the house documents and making a phone call where I had to talk to a bank rep to get a new password for an account I was having trouble accessing, I was feeling good. Like the nerves are very high. But this time tomorrow we are going to have the keys to our new house??? Crazy. We will have to get the electric and gas set up in our names but I think it will go smoothly. And I'm just so excited and nervous and I have so many different feelings. It's great.

I would take a shower and asked James to please make up the bed for sleep now instead of later. Alexi sent us a text that work might be canceled again tomorrow because the roads might not be safe at camp. But my plan is to go to work in the morning. And leave with enough time to practice the commute to the final walkthrough. And then it's paperwork time. Which should take about an hour. James might go right back to work. I might go to the house and do more planning. We will just have to wait and see. I am so excited.

I love you all. Thank you for supporting me through this journey. Goodnight everyone! Until tomorrow!

[apprenticestanheight]

fic idea: first new years after the bathroom, Adam celebrating the holiday with Lawrence and thinking about how much his life has changed

Too Many Rock Bottoms- Adam Stanheight x Lawrence Gordon

Hiiiiiii nonnie!! I know that you sent this in either before or very very very close to christmas but I am SO SORRY for the wait time--I had meant to start it around christmas and get it queued for either yesterday, today or tomorrow because I knew myself and I knew that queueing it would help motivate me to edit, but then another passion project took hold for a bit and thus I got a delayed start with this one.

ALSO: this is technically the first new years after the bathroom--I had Adam go through a bit in the last half of 2004 because I was like 'okay yeah trauma but how does a romance develop in less than three months' so instead of being NYE into NYD 2004-2005, it'll be NYE into NYD 2005-2006, which I hope is all right with you!

If you're reading, though, I hope the wait turns out to have been worth it!

Fic type- this is fluffy!!

Warnings- this is very unedited, but there's also mentions of an infection from Adams wound being left for too long--it's nonspecific but there's mentions of it spreading to his heart and his lungs.

In the year since Adam woke up in the hospital post-escape, things have been quite the opposite of easy. Nightmares have become something of such a frequency that Adams body is capable of running on an hour of sleep so long as he stops at a gas station and buys a Redbull or two before he goes into work, and he can figure out when Lawrence has had a silent break down before he's woken up by just looking at him, tracing his face for signs of puffy cheeks or half-dried tear trails down his chin and neck.

He'd been trapped in the bathroom until very, very early October. Infection had taken hold of his shoulder and spread to his heart and his lungs and it was so severe that he had to be put into a coma to treat it.

He'd woken up three weeks after, on Halloween, and after an additional month spent in the recovery unit to make sure his shoulder wasn't paralyzed and that his heart and his lungs were working as they were meant to, he was released in very early December.

December of 2004, Lawrence walked into the hotel he was working as a receptionist at and just--just grinned like an idiot. He'd said that he'd heard where Adam worked from a friend of a friend (one of his fellow residents named Dr Lilith Whittaker was the girlfriend of Amara Saint Cloud, with whom Adam worked at the reception desk. Lilith had talked about how Amara was working with a guy who'd been said to have survived a trap and the road Lawrence walked lead back to Adam) and "let's grab dinner and catch up"'d his way back into Adams life.

A year on from that day and there are good days, bad days, and there are worse ones. Given, though, that Lawrences Christmas gift to him had been a series of kisses that left him delirious and the proclaiming of the fact that he'd booked the rest of the year off, he'd had a week of decent days to that point.

Their plans to ring in the new year hadn't amounted to much--Diana was spending that holiday with Alison as she'd spent both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Lawrence, so they didn't have a kid to worry about--Adam had figured that Lawrence would do some of the physical therapy exercises he'd been told he had to try to do at least thrice a week, and he would probably go for a walk to take photos of some of the prettier areas of Jersey before he came home with a pizza and a bottle of champagne, but they'd not really discussed doing much of anything.

Adam was happy with not doing anything, though. He'd never really understood the appeal of going out and getting shit faced on NYE, even though Scott had gotten him a fake ID and used to drag him out to the bars in the heart of the city while they were teens and up until they were both 21.

It didn't seem worth all the effort it took just to get drunk, woozy and if you were lucky, get something so strong that it just knocked you right out. He'd stopped letting Scott drag him out to places willy nilly on NYE when he hit 22, and at twenty-seven and living with someone who he cared about so deeply it astounded him, he found that he was in no mood to get drunk at a bar or get hit on by someone who thought he was straight enough to be interested.

Still, though, as he wakes up and thrums through the motions, it's hard not to think of the last year and reminisce.

This time last year, he was four weeks out of hospital with chronic shoulder pain, had still been living in a roach infested apartment that had holes in the walls from bullets and termites alike, and could hardly afford to put food on the table.

Now, though? Lawrences place is no longer just Lawrences place, but it's theirs. Adam wakes up next to Lawrence everyday, goes to sleep next to him every night. It's Lawrence who coaxes him into the shower when the fear of water kicks up so bad that Adam has to fight panic attacks, Lawrence who kisses his shoulders and the back of his neck whenever something has tripped the trauma up and caused a bad reaction.

He's the one who calms Lawrence down whenever the phantom pains from his foot give Lawrence the jitters or a flashback, the one who makes him coffee when he wakes up from a nightmare or pulls him back into his arms while he reminds Lawrence that it's just a nightmare, it's not real, he'd had no choice but to leave Adam behind to survive and Adam had survived anyway so it balanced out.

Things are just so different to how they used to be, and as Adam goes through his day, it's hard not thinking about it.

He thinks about it as he kisses Lawrence goodbye to take a photo walk, thinks about it again as he snaps a photo of a crow, which he knows Lawrence will, at a minimum, find amusing because the crow is wielding one of those white plastic forks you get when you order takeaway.

He reminisces on the first of many late-night phone calls as he grabs a book that Lawrence had mentioned wanting a couple days beforehand, the fact that what had started as a bickering match over which Christmas movie was better--the options being White Christmas and It's A Wonderful Life. Adam had won the debate and Lawrence had snickered when Adam made the point about the fact that Clarences angel thing could've been a hallucination and yeah, the acting was iffy but anything was better than something that featured Bing fucking Cosby--but had ended in Lawrence apologizing for shooting him and Adam shushing him by reminding him he had to do it.

On the walk back, he thinks of the first night he'd spent in Lawrences house, barely managing to make it through a shower because the trauma had kicked up nastily that day, putting on one of Lawrences t-shirts and being engulfed in the scent of his cologne. They'd not meant for Adam to stay the night but by the time they were realizing how late it was, it was almost midnight and Lawrence had offered to let him use the shower and lend him a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, which Adam would never have refused.

He remembers falling asleep with Lawrences heartbeat thrumming in his ear that night, the two of them lightly bickering as they dozed. He remembers wanting to fall asleep the same way every night for the rest of his life, scoffing at the idea because never did someone like him ever get that fuckin' lucky.

As he unlocks the door, the book he'd bought for Lawrence tucked under his arm, a smile has crossed his face.

He's had a year of ups, downs, and far too many rock bottoms to justify counting all of them, but it's been a better year than the last one was, and as he opens the door, steps into his and Lawrences place, he has to think all of it was worth it just to get to that point.

[glittergutts]

I swear to God if I have another shitty day I'm just going to hibernate.

I had a nice workout this morning, probably one of my best speeds, which is not something I normally look at, but it's cool that my speed is improving with my strength. My heart was thumping hard when I got done.

I'm going to have a cup of mushroom coffee to really get caffinated and hopefully not end up depression napping, at least until much later today.

I picked out a cute long sleeve dress to put on after I finish my workout/chores and get a shower. I woke up in a mood again and just want to look cute for my husband, and hopefully, we can have some alone time after the kids are in bed. I feel like I think that almost every day, and it almost never happens mostly because I fall asleep or Chris is having trouble with the necrosis in his hips. It seems like the stars never align for us to get physical and I'm just a little tired of it so maybe tonight I'll do something about it so I can at least get it out my mind for a little bit. Anyways enough about my sex life..

I'm going to try to get the kids working on school early because yesterday we had a really late start and it felt like it took all day even though it took the normal amount of time. I'm surprised at how easy it's been to homeschool both kids, we have things we all do together and things they do separately and it's working out beautifully. I asked Ellie how homeschool was compared to her last year at private school and she had only good things to say about learning from home. It made me feel so good and like I am in fact doing the right thing for my children's education. ☺️

I'm feeling pretty ambitious, so I'm finally going to look up a workout video on YouTube. Mostly because I don't feel like I know what I'm doing or how long I should do anything, so some guidance would be cool, and it's free, unlike a personal coach or trainer or whatever. I want to feel sore after a good workout. I haven't felt anything in weeks. I'm trying to up my weights a few pounds because they don't feel like they're doing very much. I hope I can get those soon. I need to go find my medicine ball so I can start using that again. I was really into my fitness about 7 years ago and so was Chris so we bought some weights and resistance bands I still don't know how to use and some other things. We got my elliptical from a sporting store that was closing for like 100$ and that's the only reason I have that. But even before I was only lifting 5lbs weights and using the elliptical for short periods of time. I'm doing so much more and feeling so much stronger than before this time. I'm just feeling determined to love my body again and suddenly I'm extremely insecure. Probably that lady that asked if I was pregnant just made me feel fat and gross and it hurt my feelings in a big way because it's not the first time I've heard that comment. The medication I take has ruined my body while saving my mind and it sucks so bad to have to choose because of course my mental health matters way more than how I look but feeling bad about myself is bad for my brain too so idfk. I feel stuck like this and it's so frustrating.

Ok I guess that's everything on my mind right now. Tomorrow is my 18 months clean and anniversaries always make me feel so strange.

[noodlecupcakeswritings]

A Second Chance - Chapter 8 (LokiXOC)

After the snap and losing her husband, Raven tries to settle on New Asgard with Thor and Valkyrie. But even after losing Loki twice before this time around doesn’t make it any easier. Until a variant of Loki shows up looking for her. Could this be the second chance they both need?  

Warnings: Angst, Feels, These two idiots need their heads banging together, Perhaps a hint of sexual tension at the start 

Chapter 8

Raven

The sound of my morning alarm woke me, and with a tired groan, I turned it off. Rubbing my eyes, I gave myself a few minutes to come round; I knew I needed to get out of bed sooner rather than later or otherwise, I’d likely go back to sleep. Forcing myself from the warm, comforting bed, I changed into clean clothes and exited my bedroom. Still half asleep, I made my way to the bathroom and tried the door, only to find it locked. Now was not the time for Loki to be hogging the bathroom.

The lock turned, and the door swung open to reveal Loki with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Both of us paused for a moment before I was reminded that this was not my husband, and I should probably stop staring. I averted my gaze, my cheeks burning. “You really should’ve brought a change of clothes to the bathroom,” I reminded him. “You're right. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

Loki sidestepped me and headed to the living room. Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned against the wood and sighed. Guilt filled me for having looked at him that long, for letting my thoughts wander. Going over to the sink, I cleaned my teeth and was ready for work. Taking a few calming deep breaths, I prayed Loki was fully dressed by now. After waiting another few seconds, I finally exited the bathroom.

Thankfully, Loki was now fully dressed and sat at the kitchen table with breakfast. Thankfully, he could at least manage to make toast. That wasn’t the only thing on the kitchen table, however. Somehow, he’d gotten hold of a box of purple hair dye. My old brand and shade. I eyed the box suspiciously before turning my gaze back to him for an explanation. “I found it in the bathroom last night, figured tonight we could maybe dye your hair and perhaps take you for a haircut,” Loki suggested.

I blinked at him, not quite believing what I was hearing. Had he learnt nothing from yesterday? Now he was practically trying to change me into his Raven physically. Loki could see the look on my face and his smile faded. “I just thought it might make you feel a bit better-“ he started. “By trying to make me look like her? Like my past self?”

He fell silent, knowing he’d been caught out, and that saying anything else would just make this situation worse. If that were even possible. “I’m not the same Raven you knew and loved. I had to change, I had to grow as a person, your Raven didn’t get that chance and I am sorry for that, but I am not going to remain stuck in the past for you,” I snapped. Turning on my heel, I went to the door, shoving my feet in my boots and throwing my coat on before storming out.

I didn’t make it very far down the path as Valkyrie was heading towards me. “What’s happened now?” She asked, taking in my pissed-off expression. “He suggested I dye my hair and cut it, it’s like he wants to mould me into the Raven from his timeline,” I said matter-of-factly. Val cringed at my words and tone, even she knew this was bad. “I suppose it’s not going to help what I have to say,” Val replied. Obviously, she’d come up here with some kind of bad news. Taking a deep breath, I internally prepared myself for the worst.

“I can’t come with you today to pick up supplies, I’m needed down at the docks. There’s been a backlog that’s suddenly shown up and I need to help shift it,” she continued. Well, that wasn’t as bad as I had thought. And I didn’t mind going on my own sometimes. Maybe a day away would give me the chance to cool off. Val glanced behind me, and I knew Loki was likely eavesdropping…no, lurking in the doorway of the cottage. “Maybe Loki could go with you instead,” Val suggested hesitantly, “you two are eventually going to have to try to work something out.”

I looked at Val with suspicion. Since when had she been so keen on me hearing him out? Sometimes Val was worse than me when it came to holding grudges, and she usually dealt with her conflicts violently. “Did you not hear what I said earlier?” I asked. “I did. But you two can’t argue for the rest of eternity.” “Fine.”

Rolling my eyes at her, I turned back to Loki, as I had previously guessed, lurking in the doorway. “You wanna make yourself useful?” Val asked him. “I think you’ll find I’m very useful,” Loki replied matter-of-factly before approaching, “what can I help with?” Valkyrie told him what she’d told me. I should have told her I was fine to go on my own to avoid this situation. Now it was too late, as Loki had agreed. Now I was going to be stuck with him, alone, for most of the day.

Without turning to look at him, I silently got in the car and started the ignition. Quickly I turned down the car’s radio to avoid judgement over how loud I had my music usually. Having it loud helped me drown out the thoughts and gave me something else to focus on for the drive. Loki climbed into the front passenger seat beside me, not saying a word. He already knew he was on very thin ice. Putting the car in drive, I headed to the exit of the village, keeping my eyes on the road in front of me. Even now, there was a horrid awkward silence and tension in the air.

Once clear of the village, Loki decided he’d had enough of the silence. “Would it help if I said I was sorry?” He asked. “Depends if you mean it, which you clearly don’t.” “Well, if you had given me a chance to explain myself properly instead of storming out, perhaps things would be different.” “Go on then, explain yourself now.” “I know that things haven’t been easy for you, therefore you haven’t been feeling good. I thought it might be a nice thing to cheer you up, a self-care thing.”

I didn’t believe him, at least not completely. He’d proven previously he had ulterior motives, so why wouldn’t he with the hair dye? And for him to think he knew how hard it had been for me made me more infuriated. By now I was white-knuckling the steering wheel, going at least ten mph over the speed limit. “You don’t know anything about what I’ve been through and how I’ve dealt with it,” I snapped. Loki sighed, now visibly frustrated with me. This conversation was going to quickly turn into an argument. “I can’t help but see her every time I look at you. I can’t help but want her back after what happened. And you can scoff and shout at me all you like, but you do the exact same thing when you look at me,” Loki snarled.

For once, I didn’t have anything to say to that because I knew he was right. Him being here was a painful reminder of everything I had lost, everything that could have been. Before his arrival, the only two emotions I had felt were misery or numbness. And the numbness was comforting in a strange way, it was better than crying or feeling a hole in my chest. But now with him here, I just felt angry. And I didn’t even know who or what I was angry at.

There was anger towards Thanos for taking my Loki from me in the first place. There was anger towards Banner for not letting me be with Loki in his last moments. There was anger that I hadn’t been one of the people lost after the snap. There was anger towards myself for not having killed Thanos, I even envied Thor for being the one to do it. And there was anger at this Loki for having stopped me from ending it all. It wasn’t fair for him to unknowingly take that from me, as if enough hadn’t been taken already.

A lump formed in my throat, and my eyes blurred with tears, which I quickly blinked away. I didn’t want him to see me cry; I didn’t want his pity or sympathy. Nor did I probably deserve it.

Taglist: @jana-banana-fana, @fictionaljunkie, @kittyofalltrades​

[soullikethesea]

Watch out, I'm going to whine for a bit.

Woke up with a really bad headache that made it impossible to do much. I tried going for a walk and ended up sitting on a bench for a while, plotting how I would make it back home. And also noticing that I was feeling really close to crying.

I just slept for a bit and that has cleared it up. Probably I'm just really tired?? Also hungry.

I cancelled therapy (which would have been today) and I think it's good, because I wouldn't have been able to make it with the headache. But also it brings out an attachment cry and chaos inside, mostly because it throws off my routine.

Some of the cry-y feelings were about the stuff with my friend(s). He said that he was hurt when I expressed my feelings about Bf and about the poly friend. I hadn't noticed that I had basically brought up similar situations in both cases. With the poly friend, I felt in danger when she said she only wanted to be comforted by me when she had been sexually assaulted. With Bf, I expressed that I now notice the red flag of him saying over and over that I'm the only person who would understand. The friend I was on a trip with said it hurt his feelings because he has felt similarly, like I was the only person who could really understand or comfort him. And then this morning yet another friend texted me that his dog had died unexpectedly and it reminded me of those things a little bit. I'm all for people reaching out to me and I appreciate being able to help, but I guess it feels like too much pressure when they consider me to be the *only* one they want.

Ironically, it once again seems to lead to feelings of shame for me. I know how to interact with people, but I worry that eventually everyone will notice that I function based on scripts. It makes me feel alien, or like a robot. Perhaps not true to myself, but who even am I, or would I be, without scripts?

I know that one pupil commented that I seem to give the same explanations in the same sentences. Unfortunately that is part of the same thing. It scares me and highlights feeling inadequate and like I'm not a 'good real person'.

Yesterday I worked my second job again and I think it went slightly better because my colleague pushed me into the deep end a few times. That gave me a chance to swim. I also identified for myself that I think 80% of my fear/shame in that situation is grounded in the past, and only 20% is about that actual situation. I'm terrified of making the wrong moves and then being confronted for it. In my main job I kind of feel the same way currently.

I think Mouse may have fronted for a bit, because I was clutching their little comfort cloth and whimpering for a while.

It kind of feels like the walls are closing in, because the challenges keep coming and I'm having a hard time being able to take breaks and rest. Therapy often feels like work to me too, where it's a place to perform and it takes so much of me to open up and attempt to regulate.

The stuff with other people makes me feel a bit hopeless. That may be coming from Mae. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

I might take a med to have a chance at properly calming down.