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#i wrote this in one go because i was tired of writing nothing
difeisheng · 3 months
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重逢
Fang Duobing thinks he sees him, one last time. All light and motion that doesn't stir the breeze, perched at the edge of Fang Duobing's bed, cloaked in white like the moon shining on his form through the window. If he would have dared to look upon him just a moment longer, Fang Duobing would have seen him smile. Warm like jade, set there like a sculpted figure. More distinct than the silhouette blurred on the back of Fang Duobing's eyelids when he curls away into the cradle of lingering sleep, the steady weight of Di Feisheng at his back. The weight that, still asleep with even breath though a dagger reflecting the stars lays beside him, tells Fang Duobing whoever he perceives cannot be any more real than a dream.
They're the only places the people he calls ghosts can ever find him.
Ghosts they are, ghosts they will remain, slipping through his fingers no matter how he grasps, and so Fang Duobing closes his eyes against the not-presence of Li Lianhua. Against hope he's too bone-tired to stoke back to life, whether in the world of sleep or waking. It's easier, in the darkness, where he can tell himself he's made his peace with absence and the world cannot fold itself around empty shape before him to deny it.
A breath falls against Fang Duobing's ear, more than A-Fei can be. He doesn't feel the bed dip with one's movement, but he does, more than hears, the faintest exhaled note of laughter against his skin. He does not open his eyes.
Something more deliberate than air brushes at his hair, stroking a loose strand out of his face. It's the puppetry of his own exhaustion and the wind, however his subconscious has chosen to make sense of it, Fang Duobing thinks. A dream, or an illusion, or whatever you might call this, is an unreliable thing. The joke is that you never realize as such until reality reclaims its place.
The amused laugh comes again, more whisper than can be wind. And then, in a silent night, more voice than whisper. "Zai jian, Fang Xiaobao."
He's too close, too easy to believe in, words at Fang Duobing's ear. Too easy to reach for with the soft touch to his forehead, a moment's impression of a kiss.
It is the teasing cruelty of it, the sting of the short-lived, that forces Fang Duobing to finally open his eyes. Only the moonlight is there to greet him.
Only he is there to call himself, for the thousandth time and with no other words left, a fool.
(They're not the last ones Fang Duobing hears that night, though he barely registers the rest. Later, caught on the precipice between sleep and the final ray of consciousness, bleeding away.)
(Despite that, he does know, with as much certainty as he knows he lives and breathes, whose voice it was.)
(He knows what Li Lianhua said.)
(Dui bu qi.)
~*~
In the morning, something lays cushioned in Fang Duobing's open palm. A hairpin, fine in detail. Two lotus pods, twisted together at the stems, down a curved, entwined line.
Seeds of rebirth. Restart. A signifier of a new life begun, and so the old, the dead, must have said their farewell. The weight of this pin, once worked through another's hair by his own hand, is far more than its delicacy in Fang Duobing's hold.
He realizes with a start, the sun dawning on a day like any other, where he will find Li Lianhua again.
When.
~*~
Not in this lifetime.
~*~
The knowledge is, in its quiet ache, a comfort.
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sh1-n0bu · 25 days
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♡︎ 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 ♡︎
characters: AFAB!sub!jing yuan, dan heng, blade x gn!dom!reader
warnings: AFAB characters, overstimulation, headcannon+small drabble format, praise, degrading, cock/strap traditions, dacryphilia, usage of bullet vibrator, slight brat taming, nipple stimulation, fingering, oral, cervix fucking, begging, squirting, clit pinching, cock/strap warming, size kink, belly bulge, breeding, creampie, mating press, full nelson, just a personal headcannon of how i think they would act when overstimulated
notes: someone wrote “nobody writes ahegao quite like nobu does” in one of their repost tags and im fucking shitting tears😭😭
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the giggler
jing yuan loves to be overstimulated. he loves the feeling of it, the adrenaline rush, the high, the feeling of finally cumming all over your fingers, tongue, strap whatever it may be and the feeling of you continuing to move, drawing out his orgasm while also driving him into an overstimulated mess
has the cutest giggles and laughs when he gets too much pleasure. he doesn’t even try to hide or won’t even try to hide it. why would he when you were making him feel so good over and over again? hell, he even wants other people to hear it, to remind them that you were his lover and only his. and how only he gets to feel the overwhelming amount of pleasure only you can bring to him and no one else
but, it comes with a catch. he needs a lot of foreplay and/or teasing and/or orgasm denial for him to finally cave in and shake his head before starting to blabber incoherent shit about how good your cock feels inside his gushing pussy, how he could feel your tip fucking his cervix, how he wanted you to fuck a baby inside him etc etc
and i mean a LOT of it
as a centuries old war hardened general, it’s safe to say that he had gotten used to some feelings and emotions. pleasure being one of them
so if you want to get him to break and to become absolutely dumb and drunk on lust and pleasure, you have to tease him a lots before getting into it. if not, he will somehow find a way to outsmart you and take the reigns. he’s a bit of a brat and a spoiled prince wrapped up into one after all
will tell you what to do and how to do it if you have failed in getting him needy in your foreplay. he will fist your hair and thrust his hips into your mouth, making you unable to breath for a moment or two with his clit right at your nose. will push you down and flip your positions so he could ride your face, all the while chuckling at your cute attempt to push him back down. a goddamn brat and he will show it to the fullest when you fail at your foreplay
did i mention he was a brat? well now i have. a fucking brat to the max and he isn’t ashamed of it. will definitely question your power in the bedroom, try to overpower you and he will. he literally swings a 7000kg glaive in one hand like its nothing and he will show it by throwing you around. gently and consensually of course, he wouldn’t want to hurt his beloved
but fully expect him to be cocky and devious. “can you say no to my pretty pussy?”, “so sleepy. oh sorry, i didn’t know your cock was inside me hehe”, “was that all?” you get the gist. will shamelessly yawn in the middle of fucking not because he is sleepy or tired, but simply because he is a brat. a goddamn brat
so, how can you get him to be needy and won’t make him go into his bratty side? simple. shove a long distance controlled vibrator inside his cunt and leave it there for the whole day for him to suffer at work. but if you’re going to do that, be sure to mute the ringtone for your phone for the day since he will call you, send you messages, pictures, videos every damn hour. the closer his hour for shift ending comes, the more frequent the buzzing of your phone will become because he will grow much more needier
when finally he’s back home and frantically pawing at your pants when barely through the doors, that’s when you know he had absolutely no intention of being a brat. how can he when his whole pants were slowly getting stained from his multiple orgasms?
when he’s gladly bending himself over, arching his back for you as he wiggles his hips, he will ask you to come inside. jing yuan is great with kids and such a huge family man, he will ask you over and over repeatedly to breed him. cum inside him, fill up his cute dripping cunt, put him in whatever position you want and make sure to breed his pretty cunt, you can finally raise your own family together!
remember the long distance controlled vibrator i mentioned? make sure to keep it on and buzzing inside his cunt at all times when he’s away at work, or else it won’t work. during meetings or report hearings, jing yuan had to leave to the bathroom a lot of times and it genuinely got his subordinates concerned for his health. the red face, the heavy breathing and sometimes, the jolts of his body or the bleeding bruised lips of his made the cloud knights worry and some even suggested for him to leave the seat of divine foresight early to look after his health. if only they knew just how their dearest general was pathetically biting on his hand to muffle his screams in the bathroom as he squirted all over himself
“[naaammeee], ‘m mmgh♡︎! aaaaangh haah mngck♡︎♡︎ i-i’m home!” jing yuan’s voice called out, weak mewls of pleasure slipping through as he collapsed onto the floor the moment the doors of your shared home was closed. desperately humping the floor, trying to push the vibrator deeper into his gushing pussy, your lover didn’t realize that you were leaning against the wall of the kitchen, watching him with a knowing smile. there was a wet patch growing in his usual red pants, growing more and more the further he humped the air in desperation. see? your tough brat was so easy to tame.
“you feeling okay, darling?” you call out, taking out the controlled from your pants pocket and messing with the switch. flipping it up, down, up to the highest level, before going to the lowest level. it was cute to see the ever so tough brat turn into a delirious mess from just a single small toy. all because he was being so stubborn about how you weren’t the boss of him. walking over to where he was kneeling on the floor, you reach your free hand out. tilting his head up, a thumb swiping away at the drool that was beginning to pool on his lower lip, you tilt your head to the side, asking the question again with a firm hold onto his chin.
“n-no…! no no no, not at aamgh♡︎♡︎ h-hhaaaggm not at all♡︎!” he shakes his head viciously, dragging out his words and tripping over them with moans and mewls falling in between. pathetically, he tugs on the hem of your pants, trying to get to his favorite treat, the one thing he’s been missing this whole day.
“n-need you… need you right now, need your—♡︎♡︎! need yo-our..! c-cock right now...♡︎!” jing yuan mutters between whimpers, finally, his shaky hands manage to pull down your pants and undergarments just enough to have your strap out. a needy whine falling as he places slobbering wet kisses on the tip, giving it a few licks as he flutters his lashes at you in an effort to manipulate you to give him what he was non-verbally asking.
knowing full well that he wouldn’t take no for an answer and that yanqing might come home soon, you drag him up to his feet — an action that was heavily protested against as jing yuan cries out after his favorite treat being taken away. once inside the comfort of your shared bedroom, by the time you have locked the door behind you, he was already naked. clothes messily strewn on the floor and on the bed, the many orgasm’s slick dripping down his puffy cunt to his ass and to the bedsheets eventually. you could see the light trembling of his pussy lips, an action caused by the vibrator fucking away inside him still.
turning the vibrator off, you take the toy out of his puffy cunt. jing yuan let out a drawn out mewl at the feeling, clenching around nothing as he tries to replace the empty feeling for something, anything. but seeing you starting to strip, he knew what he wanted. and he knew how he wanted it.
spreading his legs open further, his hand comes down, flicking at his enlarged clit with a jolt before spreading open his labia for you to take in how he was already so needily wet and dripping for you. a drunk giggle escaping him when the tip of your cock is right against his folds, wiggling his hips enticingly.
“[nnaameeee]~ you gotta fuck a baby in me this time, owhkayyy?♡︎♡︎ hehehe♥︎”
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the crybaby
the cutest out of all three of them, in my personal opinion
he just gets overstimmed so easily and quickly, it’s adorable in the way that he brokenly begs for a moment of respite. legs shaking, smaller body jolting violently at the smallest of touches like your hand ghosting over his hardened nipples. don’t even get me started on the way he cutely squeals out loud when you pinch his clit augh
maybe it’s due to his nature as a vidyadhara and not a full human but every little touch is received with so much sensitivity and sensuality, it gets so easy to turn him into a blabbering mess in record time. push his smaller body against the wall and finger his gushing pussy while rolling your thumb over his clit. in no time, his legs are shaking as he bites your hand, his orgasm washing over him quickly and violently. but don’t just stop there, keep flicking at his clit, pinch it, tug on it, push a hand on the small bulge on his belly and he’ll be left sobbing by the second or third round
he’s noticeably smaller than the other two and it carries out into his size kink so well. he just wants to be pushed around and put into impossible, near painful positions and man-handled until he’s left a blabbering idiot
make him cockwarm you while asking him to read you a story or a book under the guise that you had a nightmare and can’t fall asleep without his soothing voice and soft cunny wrapped around your cock. at first he’ll huff and puff, saying that you’re a liar and just wants to fuck him. four or five pages in and his voice is already strained, whines coming out as hiccups and sniffles follow soon after
but just because he’s a crybaby doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. he knows how much you love his pretty steel grey eyes unfocused and hazy, brimming with tears and he will use that to his advantage. will make sure to play with his nipples or push down on the bulge in his tummy when cockwarming you so he could get teary eyed quicker. the moment he sniffles and grinds himself down on you, he knows you’re a goner and would give him what he wants
he may be a crybaby, but he’s also a goddamn minx so beware of that
tugs on your sleeve so cutely, looking at you with a flushed face and stuttered words to ask you if you wanna spend time with him in his room. today’s trailblazing expedition was too long and tiring after all, “surely you would enjoy some cuddles…?” or “i just wanted to help you patch up your wounds. i was just worried”
yeah sure, dan heng. just say that you wanna get fucked until you’re squealing out like a slut with fat tears running down your cute red cheeks. thank the aeons the express’ walls are thick and soundproof. if not, who knows the amount of noise complaint you would have gotten from everyone
has slight oral fixation. slightly. but that’s only because he wants to see you crumble and give into his non-verbal demands and just ruin him. he’s a bit too shy to ask directly after all
long serpentine tongue wrapping around your strap, pulling it into his mouth. will gag and choke so loudly with the tip of the fat dildo pushed right down his throat, hitting his uvula and choking his throat. he can complain about sore throats and pained jaws all he wants but you both know that he loves to suckle on your strap with tears filling his eyes
the most messiest cock sucker and that’s saying something bc blade is the one who has the biggest oral fixation out of the three of them. he’ll place wet kisses to the weeping tip of your cock, running the slitted snake like tongue over the weeping slit of your cock teasingly before wrapping it around your dick. loves the scent and the taste of your pre, basically addicted to it as he opens his mouth wider, slipping your cock inside the warm cavern of his mouth inch by inch
but be aware that he will also try to take advantage of this position. he will try to bat his lashes at you so he can continue suckling on your strap like he would be sucking on a lolipop, all under the guise to ‘make you happy’. when in reality, he would try to make you cum over and over to try and get you overstimulated. when in such position, just fist his hair and fuck his throat. gets him crying in no time like the crybaby he is
“… bamboo whispers in the w-wind, a secret pa-aaangh! aah aaah hmgk♡︎ a s-secret pa-act... ♡︎!“ the soothing voice of your lover drawls out into a weak sniffle, hands gripping the book filled with love poetry from his home planet tightly. so tight, you feared that he might just tear the book apart with his claws. you had crawled into his bed yet again to torment him today, the dildo hitting all the sensitive spots in his gushing cunt, dan heng couldn’t help but weakly whine when your hands around his waist tightens to not let him move.
“go on. i’m listening” you coo out, forcing him to stay still on your lap while his voice continue to drawl out. sniffles and broken pleads replacing his ever so stoic mask, a voice that is usually so cold and distant, always scolding other turning into one of mindless blabber about how badly he wanted your strap to fuck his pussy. you couldn’t help but laugh.
“is that what it says on the pages? i may be still learning the strokes but the next line seems to be the stroke for two” you point at the kanji on the book he was holding in his shaking hands, the strokes of the language seeming familiar to you. it was an easy kanji to read after all. yet not to your boyfriend it seems.
“please! p-please please move! i beg you, [n-naamee]♡︎ you gotta fuck meeh♡︎ you gotta fuck me you gotta fuck me— you have to fuck meeegck—♡︎♡︎!!” dan heng squeals, shaking thighs bucking down onto your dick, trying to gain some friction. it was enough, he had read you hundreds of love poetries from his home planet. he had been taking your pronged torture for long enough, please just fuck his cunt already!
“so impatient” you huff, putting the book away with a book marker tucked between the pages before hooking your hands under his knees. pulling him up and over until dan heng was left wailing at the sudden change in position. hooking your arms under his knees, his legs are left dangling in the air with nothing to support himself but for his hands to cling to your biceps. even then, he couldn’t hold for long as he jolts about in your arms like a hopping bunny, painting your dildo in his cum when the tip kissed his cervix.
“guuchk♥︎!! d-deep! aah ah naahmg haah t-too deep♡︎♡︎ [n-name] you’re f-fucckk fuck fuck—♡︎♥︎ fucking my cerviinxx my ceerrvv—♡︎♡︎ mngh unngya♥︎!” punched out sobs comes from his pretty lips, drawling out into whiny cries when you move him up and down. you could see the bulge in his tummy appear and disappear every little moment. every jolt, every gasp, every little whiny cry making the bulge in his tummy to get more detailed. he was so adorably small.
“‘m sorry, darling. i’m sorry, didn’t mean it. didn’t mean to fuck you this deep” you coo out apologies, lifting him just a bit so your strap won’t sink so deep to the point it would kiss his cervix. as much as you loved your crybaby gasping and writhing, you didn’t want the reason for such reaction to be pain.
claws scratching at every inch of skin he could touch, jaw slack open in a silent scream, you could barely make out his shrill yell of what appears to be your name when dan heng squirts over your cock after just a few thrusts. you could see the overflowing amount of cum just dripping down your cock, trailing down to your legs and staining the mattress. with a click of your tongue, you pinched his clit, making the shorter man sniffle with a squeal.
“‘m soowryyy… sorry sorry—♡︎ d-didn’t mean to be bad... s-soowwh uunhg hyaagk ungc gugcck—♥︎♥︎!!”
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the hissy bitch
alright, so i know i’m going into territory that has been charted way too many times before by blade lovers standard but he def has piercings. on his nipples, tongue and on his clit. probably got the first three by losing a drunk bet or something or maybe he just wanted it but the last one, the clit one, is definitely his latest piercing. one that he got after his relationship with you began and he had made the sudden rash decision to get one so he could see your reaction and to feel you just messing with it while fucking him
there is a REASON why he always keeps his chest bandaged up. there is a goddamn reason and that reason is his nipple piercings and the fact that his chest is generally very sensitive im being delusional
so what does that bring and why have i specified it? simple. titty fucking. nipple stimulation. seeing his pretty big, round chest jiggle every time your cock sinks back into his dripping cunt. pinch it, roll it, tug on them, suckle on them, do anything to him with his nipple piercing and he’s scratching at your back, mauling it like an animal
the reason i see him as a hissy bitch is because he likes to throw small temper tantrums when he gets too overstimulated. he’s crying, begging, hitting your shoulders, back, scratching at them and leaving deep red scratch marks, perhaps even breaking the skin sometimes. how come blade get overstimulated quickly? because he is very touch deprived. he’s been alone and immortal for too damn long and his ass is fucking touch starved. i just know it in my bones
genuinely, he is indeed very touch starved. since his rebirth as an immortal, he had felt nothing but pain, anguish and suffering and therefore, has basically gotten immune to touches. especially the violent and bloody ones. but gentle, tender, affectionate ones? find him jumping away from your soft hands like a frightened cat, it’s goddamn heartbreaking. so when he finally gets his cunt fucked, blade would be overstimmed too fast due to receiving a sudden abundance of affection and touches
will shake his head ‘no’ when asked if you would wanna stop due to his tears. you were just concerned but blade didn’t wanted this onslaught of pleasure to stop. desperately rides your fingers, mouth, strap — anything. loves the feeling of being on top of you, gives him the slight feeling of being in control. until it all gets thrown out the window when you force him to stop bouncing, hands gripping his hips tightly as a warning. will whine and try to grind down, trying to chase that high again but will only end up with a pout and hissy tears falling down his cheeks
another one who loves the feeling of being stuffed full and overstimulated. it’s almost like he gets high from the feeling. loves having his pussy fucked in any way you please until he can’t stay on his hands or feet without shaking. it’s just so cute to see him shaking like a fawn when fucking him doggy style
prepare to have yourself used as a chew toy as well as a scratcher. blade’s almost like a cat, hissy and whiny but also so greedy and preferring certain things in certain manner. will bite at your shoulders, hands, fingers to muffle himself but also to try and get his shit together. will scratch at your back, thighs, wherever he could reach. such a spoiled brat
when eating him out, be sure to give an extra care and love to his clit piercing. constantly flicking it with your tongue would usually work though, gets his legs all shaky and jolty soon enough. maybe pair it with flicking his pierced nubs and bladie will be squirting into your mouth with an embarrassing high pitched shriek. make sure to clean up all of his mess before diving right back into his gushing cunny. he may not say it but he will expect you to go back to eating him out like he’s your last meal
has the BIGGEST oral fixation out of the three of them. like, down bad, delicious, scrumptious, sloppy oral fixation. and he is happy to give it 90% of the times due to his tongue piercing. knows how good it makes you feel and how you like to see his pretty face between your legs, sucking on the large dildo like his life depends on it. not a single thought or a single moment of choking from him, it’s almost like he doesn’t have a gag reflex
you just came back from mission, from being away from him even for a single day? unacceptable. let him bend over for you, you can get your stress out by fucking his already dripping wet pussy. too tired? that’s fine. take of your pants and get comfortable cuz’ he can stay between your legs for days
not a single minute of respite has greeted you ever since you came back from your latest mission, stepping foot into your shared home with your stoic lover. perhaps the single gentle kiss to your cheek before he started to leave slobbering wet kisses on your lips was the only warning and moment of rest you have gotten. not even shoes off yet and blade was already unbuckling your belt, giving you the puppy eyes and grumbling about how you’ve been away for too damn long. whining about how much he missed you and needed your strap to fuck him dumb. how his pretty pussy had missed you so much.
“n-nnghyaa♡︎♡︎ m-missed you... missed you s’ much, [name]! f-fuck me fuck me fuck me, fuck your favorite cunt gyyuck—♥︎♥︎ a-aaanh! haah ah ah mmngk—♡︎♥︎!!” unusually docile red eyes roll to the back of his skull, jaw going slack wide open as you push his legs up, feeling your strap hit him deeper than he thought was possible. he could feel your weight push him down, keeping it still on the bed and to stop him from wiggling his hips entirely. this new position caused his cat like pupils to widen, turning into heart shapes as you chuckle at the dazed look in his eyes.
“such a needy brat” you coo out in a condescending manner, pushing his legs up in the air with your hands hooked under his knees to keep him in place. pulling out until halfway out, you sink back into blade’s dripping cunt. a squeal tearing from his throat alongside the filthy wet squelch of his cunt tightening around your dildo. it was so easy to get him dumb.
“t-too nngh much! too muchtoomuchtoomuch♡︎! fucking m-my womb—♡︎ [n-name], y-youuwrr crush— crushing my wombgg aangh ah ah! gyyuck eengh aaangh nyaagh♥︎♥︎!!” the familiar feeling of his nails scratching at your arms takes place, tearing at the skin, clawing at any part of your body he can come in contact with. a desperate attempt to ground his already long gone mind, too deep into the throes of pleasure that he didn’t even realize his shaking hands were weakly pulling your hips to fuck deeper into his warm walls.
“don’t be so dramatic, bladie. i won’t be able to crush your womb in this position” you coo out mockingly, wiping away the fat globs of tears that continue to pour of his eyes. red and yellow eyes rolled to the back of his skull, wide open mouth letting out the most salacious squeals and shrieks of your name and how you were fucking his womb falling out. legs weakly dangling in the air, jolting and bristling at every deep thrust you fuck into his velvety walls. the lewd wet squelching noises were alongside your grunts and blade’s whiny sobs were the only noise in the room. you would probably get noise complaints the next morning due to blade’s loudmouthed blabbering self.
letting go of one of his legs, you shove your fingers into his mouth. almost as if it was an instinct, blade’s tongue wet your fingers. suckling on the two digits as it his life depended on it with the most cutest heart shaped pupils staring at you. once you deemed them wet enough, you take your fingers out of his mouth. an action that blade showed his hatred towards as his pierced tongue comes past his lips, trying to chase after your fingers.
“gghcck—♡︎♥︎♥︎♥︎!!” a sharp wail taking place as blade arches his back, his whole body shaking, soft big tits jiggling when you pinched at his pierced clit. rolling, tugging, flicking at the hardened nub as blade sobs about cumming before drenching your cock with his squirting. you had thought of him to be satisfied with it, but turns out you have underestimated your lover’s neediness when his strong scarred thighs comes to wrap around your waist, legs locked behind your back when you tried to pull out.
sigh… it’s times like this that makes you glad for your amount of stamina.
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delulujuls · 5 months
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tinder buddies | ln4
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hi! i have no idea how to comment on that. i've got inspiration from the rumors that are now going on twitter and tiktok about lando and his activity in sm and i thought man, i need to write something in this narrative because sexting with him??? scuse me??? but of course all of this is fiction and and i dont have any statement on the rumors about lan, mostly because all of these are rumors and not facts. anyway, pls leave his poor papaya ass alone and enjoy this instead!
summary: when you met your tinder buddy irl and realize how indeed world is small
warnings: masturbation on cam (both male and female), bit of swearing, in general alott of sexual tention
pairing: fem!journalist!reader x lando norris
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Y/N thought that she was good at what she was doing. She thought that despite her young age she fit in the world of motorsport really well. Sometimes it even crossed her mind that she was no different from her older colleagues, what's more, sometimes she even thought that she was better than them. However, she admitted this only to herself with complete modesty and behind tightly closed doors.
Apart from the fact that Y/N was a really good journalist whose career was growing at a surprising pace, at the end of the day she was just a twenty-two-year-old girl who, like many other twenty-two-year-old girls in the world, had her smaller and bigger sins.
Y/N breathed heavily as she entered her hotel room. She set her suitcase and bag aside, taking off her shoes and plopping down on the bed. It was well after midnight, her flight was delayed by several hours and she was simply exhausted by the passing day. Even though she was excited about the events that awaited her in a few hours, right now she was just tired. However, she knew perfectly well what would help her relax before going to sleep. Not so much what, but who.
The girl unlocked her phone and easily found the Instagram icon, clicking on it and going straight to the messages. She entered the first conversation and was about to write some prosaic message, but she didn't have time to type out half of the sentence when a new message appeared in the chat.
"u up?"
Y/N smiled to herself. It looked like she could count on a pleasant end to the day.
"I was just about to ask you the same thing"
The reply message appeared a moment later.
"i was waiting for you to be available. i thought the evening would be wasted"
"And yet you see, surprise"
The person on the other end smiled and untied the drawstring on his sweatpants. He quickly wrote his answer with one hand.
"wanna call?"
"I think you know the answer"
She smiled and reached for the switch and turned off the light, pressing the camera icon with her other hand.
Y/N and the boy she had been messaging with for a little over a month knew next to nothing about each other. She had a private account and a few photos, he had a black icon and an empty profile. He only knew her name, she only the first letter of his. They met on Tinder, their profiles there looked quite similar. She has a few photos, more of the body than the face, he has the same, mostly in black and white. They had never seen each other's faces, but they knew each other's bodies inside and out.
Y/N placed her phone on the table and leaned it against the lamp, which she turned on a moment later. The light from it was dim, but it illuminated her body enough. The angle her phone was at only showed her from the neck down. She was perfect at maintaining her privacy.
"New background?"
He asked, seeing that the surroundings behind her were different from those he had seen before. She pulled her sweatshirt over her head, leaving her in only a bra and a thin t-shirt.
"I'm away from home"
"Work?"
"Too many questions"
There was quiet laughter on the other side. He liked her temperament. He liked her curves even more and the sounds she made when, at his command, she pushed her fingers inside her and brought herself to orgasm. Yes, he liked that too.
"Yeah, you're right. Strip."
Y/N pulled the t-shirt over her head and her interlocutor saw a red, lace bra that he never seen on her before. He smiled and ran his hand over his crotch. He felt a chill run through him.
"You look good, baby. Red suits you"
She laughed and pushed her hair behind her shoulders.
"Is this the first time you gonna tell me to keep my bra on?"
"For now, yes. I'd love to look at it for a while" he squeezed his cock and began to lightly massage it through the fabric. "You know what to do, dont'cha?"
Y/N bit her lip and lifted her hands, placing them gently on her shoulders. She slowly moved them down her body and when she found her breasts, she slowly started massaging them in circular motions. She closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly, hearing the sigh that came from her phone. He watched her carefully, following her every move.
"Take it off," he said after a while, "It's pretty, but I think I prefer you without it."
She quickly took off her bra and threw it aside. He smiled at the sight of her breasts. Y/N returned to them, continuing their massage. As she lightly pinched her nipples, she moaned softly. His cock vibrated at the sound that came from his headphones. He smiled.
"Does it feel good, baby?"
"Mhm, yeah" she answered, looking again at her phone "But you're playing unfair again. I have to see you too."
He chuckled and shook his head.
"You don't let me enjoy you"
He replied and put down the phone, quickly pulling his shirt over his head. He fell back on the pillows and turned on the light on his phone. Y/N smiled at the sight of the familiar, slightly tanned and toned torso. Her interlocutor didn't see it, but she smiled even more when he tightened his hand on his cock, which was now clearly visible on the gray material of his trousers.
"Take off the rest of your clothes and lie down"
He ordered. Y/N obediently lay down, taking off her pants and underwear. When the rustle of fabric could be heard on the other side, he easily freed himself from his pants and tight, slightly damp boxers. He spat on his hand and spread the saliva over his cock, feeling it tighten under his touch. Fuck, what he would give if instead of his hand it was this tiny hand that disappeared between the pair of thighs he saw on the screen of his phone.
The girl complied with his command and he saw her middle finger slowly sinking inside her, only to come out after a while covered with her juices.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, "You're so wet, baby."
“I wish you were here and licked me clean.”
Y/N said, rubbing her clit. She felt that she wouldn't need much to reach orgasm.
Her interlocutor smiled under his breath, but she wasn't able to see it.
"I'm afraid that i would make you even more wet."
"Someone has quite an ego here"
"I know my capabilities, baby."
She snorted under her breath and made herself more comfortable, inserting her finger into herself again. First one, quite slowly, and soon she added another one. A long moan filled the hotel room as she began to move them, imagining that it was not her but him who was fucking her. And not with his fingers, but with his wet, hard cock.
"Yeah, just like that, baby. Keep going."
His eyes carefully followed the screen and the activities taking place on it. His hand moved smoothly over his cock, his lips were slightly opened. As he was stroking himself, the glass of his watch on his wrist reflected the light from the phone. He wore it every time they cam together. Y/N didn't know anything about watches, so she didn't know what brand it was or whether it was expensive. They never talked about it, honestly, they basically never had a normal chat. However, he once asked her about the tattoo on her forearm, just below the inner bend of her elbow. He noticed it after the first time they met on camera. When it was all over and they were about to hang up and return to their real lives, he asked about it.
"What does 33 mean?"
He asked when the girl started getting dressed.
"What?"
"Tattoo on your arm"
The girl looked at her forearm and only then did she understand what he was asking about.
"I can't tell you because you'll make fun of me"
Hearing this, he smiled. Not because there was probably some stupid story behind it, but because the girl was concerned about not looking bad in front of him. Even though they absolutely didn't know each other.
"I barely know your name, I don't know why I would make fun of you."
Y/N was silent for a moment, glancing at her tattoo and lightly stroking it with her thumb.
"Do you know Formula 1?"
He smiled and nodded. His reaction, however, was beyond her reach.
"I know a thing or two"
"My favorite driver drives with this number. Well, actually he did, now his number is 1. But for me it will still be associated with 33"
The girl explained. She felt a bit embarrassed to expose herself to him, especially with something like this. However, he did not laugh at her or comment on her confession in any negative way.
"I have a friend who is also involved in motorsport and has the same number. Actually, not anymore, because he also had to change it. But for me it will also be associated only with 33"
Y/N smiled at his words. Sometimes she wondered if they could become friends and get to know each other a little better. But then she decided to come down to earth and remind herself that she had no time for relationships or friendships. Now the most important thing for her is work and career, everything else can wait. After all, no one will satisfy her as much as herself. Right?
"Fuck, I could fill you so good, baby," he moaned, gasping for breath. He felt that he was only seconds away from orgasm "You have no idea how much pleasure I would give you."
The girl's lips were opened, her eyelids were shut tightly. She massaged her clit with her left hand and moved the fingers of her right hand inside her in quick, uneven movements.
"I'm about to- I…oh my god-"
“Yes, baby, thats it" he gasped, speeding up "Cum for me.”
She felt a wave of pleasure wash over her. The moment her back arched, she heard a long "fuck" coming from her phone. He came shortly after her, staining his toned abs with his sperm. He squeezed his eyes shut and tilted his head back, trying to calm his breathing. There was silence on both sides for a moment, neither of them moving an inch.
After some time, Y/N sat on the bed and reached for a tissue, wiping her hands on it.
"I have to go now. I have a lot of work waiting for me tomorrow."
"Me too. I wanted to let you know that we may not be able to have a call tomorrow."
He answered, also wiping himself.
“It's okay, no big deal,” Y/N replied and took one last look at the muscled, tanned torso visible on her phone screen, “Good night. And good luck with your chores tomorrow.”
“Good night, baby. You too.”
She smiled and reached for her phone, ending the call. Exhausted from the previous day and the evening cam session, she just buried herself in the blanket and shortly after fell asleep. The next day, when her alarm went off, she was full of energy despite several hours of sleep. She couldn't wait for saturday's qualifying and all she was thinking about as she was getting ready was whether she would be able to get good material.
As she put on her red bra, she smiled involuntarily as she remembered last night. She wondered if he had already gotten lost in the whirlwind of his today's duties. Y/N quickly got dressed, gathered her things and, putting her pass around her neck, left the hotel. When she got to the track and was in the paddock, she couldn't think about anything else. Her only thoughts revolved around what was going to happen on the track in a few dozen minutes. However, for a split second she wondered what her tinder buddy actually knew about Formula 1. Maybe they could have something to talk about? Maybe she could even take him to some grand prix?
Her thoughts disappeared when she noticed Lando Norris hanging around the McLaren garage. The girl asked the cameraman to prepare the equipment and she would ask the Brit if he would be willing to have a short conversation. She squeezed the microphone in her hand and without thinking, she approached him, introducing herself and asking if it was possible to record a short conversation.
Hearing her name, his heart did a flip. He knew that name very well.
"Sure, no problem"
He replied with a smile, obviously not revealing himself, and ran his hand through his hair. The glass of the watch strapped to his wrist gleamed in the sunlight. Y/N had seen this watch before. Many times.
The girl smiled back and, hearing his agreement, gave a thumbs up to the cameraman. When she raised her hand, the sleeve of her shirt rolled up, and Lando's eyes involuntarily caught the tattoo on her forearm. A slight 33, just below the bend in the elbow.
He felt a sudden wave of heat wash over him. It's a coincidence, right? It must be.
"How's your mood before qualifying?"
Y/N asked, putting the microphone down and straightening her shirt. As she was arranging her collar, Lando's eyes caught a glimpse of her red bra strap. He smiled to himself and looked down. He wondered how many accidents and coincidences had come together in the universe and resulted in this situation.
"What? Something wrong?"
The girl asked, not knowing what made him react like that.
He shook his head and after a moment looked up again. He looked at the girl carefully. However, she was completely lost and looked at him questioningly.
"Sorry, as you can probably see, my mood is great. I'm positive about today's qualifying."
Y/N tentatively gripped her microphone. When the cameraman approached them, they started recording the footage and she had no time to analyze Lando's strange behavior. In fact, it was possible that this was their first and last conversation ever, so why should she care about it. When they managed to record a short material, Y/N thanked him and wished him successful qualifications. After that everyone went their separate ways.
Immediately after entering the garage, Lando found his phone buried in a pile of his things. He quickly entered his latest conversation on Instagram and, without thinking, decided to send the girl a message. Worst case scenario, he'll just make a fool of himself, which isn't a big deal since they don't know each other at all. At best, he would spend tonight as he had long dreamed of.
"ure even prettier than i thought, baby."
Y/N felt a vibration in her pants pocket and without thinking, she unlocked her phone. She was surprised to see a notification coming from Instagram, and she was even more surprised when she noticed who sent her the message. After reading it, she felt a cold sweat break out on her. However, she decided to think and act soberly.
"How do you know what I look like?"
"turn around"
Lando replied quickly and leaned against the threshold of his garage. The girl clutched her phone in her hands and obeyed his command with her heart beating wildly. Lando smiled at her, holding his still unlocked phone. Y/N felt a lack of saliva in her mouth. It's impossible, it's not really happening.
"Are you sure we're looking at the same person?"
She replied, having difficulty pressing the appropriate keys with her fingers. He was amused by her reaction. This whole situation didn't make sense to him. It was crazy.
"im looking at a pretty neat journalist with a mad bunda who has a tattoo with my friend's racing number. and u?"
Y/N blushed. Fuck. It's him.
"I see that your jumpsuit is a little tight in some places."
Lando snorted under his breath. The girl wasn't lying. The whole situation made quite an impression on him.
Y/N bit her lip and looked up. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't arousing.
"u know exactly why its tight"
"I guess I have to find out in real life. The camera likes to lie."
When she sent the message, she looked up again and their eyes locked. The Brit winked at her and quickly replied, turning on his heel and disappearing into the depths of the garage.
"my driver's room in five minutes. ill be happy to dispel your doubts"
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earthtooz · 4 months
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x : CALL ME BACK : *+゚
in which: ratio has been waiting for your call since you left.
warnings: FLUFF i promise, 1.6k wc, gn!reader, ratio being horribly in love and pining so badly, reader works as a space researcher, reader is a sunshine so this is basically sunshine x grump/asshole, written during his first release/ v1.6.
a/n: the way i wrote the synopsis made it sound like it was sad. maybe i'll write an angst version of the same prompt. anyways i listened to 'she calls me back' by noah kahan on loop when writing this, enjoy!
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Dr. Ratio is not happy with you.
It has been three weeks and three days since he last received any sort of notification from you, any sort of indication that you were healthy and alive whilst traversing the universe. Typically, you would send daily updates of how your exploration was progressing, or new intergalactic discoveries of yours, regardless of whether or not he cared. 
(He cares. He cares more than his indifferent texts lead on. There’s a reason he always responds, after all, and it’s not just because you’ve been friends for almost two decades now.
To him, your constant messages and calls told him that you were thinking of him, and the more space he occupies in your mind, the happier he is; that is a theory he discovered years ago.
He happily listens to all of your rambles. He'll listen whilst in the middle of grading various papers or writing one of his own, he'll listen whilst eating, he'll listen to you as long as you reach out.
So where are the messages he was waiting for?)
Today is the arranged day for you to return from your new mission. Ratio has been counting down the days since he first marked it on his large desk calender, your return being the first event on his list. 
He is undeniably excited to see you, yet he feels petty enough to not make the trip down and welcome you by the docks, even if your ship’s landing zone is just outside the University.
It’s irrational of him to hold your inactivity against you. Perhaps you just encountered an inconvenience and lost your phone, or wherever you are does not have good reception to send a text halfway across the galaxy. He understands that your safety comes first on these missions, but he can’t help but feel neglected, and he curses the fragility of his ego for making him this way. 
The clock strikes another hour. From his office, Ratio cannot see the ships and come and go, but his ‘scholarly instincts’ are telling him that you are on your way. 
Not even ten minutes later, a figure comes barrelling into his office.
“There he is!” You exclaim exuberantly. It seems that the length of the mission did not erode your enthusiasm, and he’s grateful that it is as contagious as he remembers. “And here I was wondering where you were, did you dig your nose too deep in those encyclopaedias you love to memorise?”
You’re still in your research gear, hips and legs buckled to the brim with various equipment that are necessary to your work, and his heart beats guiltily at the sight. 
You came to see him as soon as you landed. He was your first destination after a tiring three and a half weeks away from home, not the comfort of your home or bed or shower; him. 
“Ha. Ha.” The purple-haired laughs dryly, getting up from his chair and rounding his desk. “Good to see you still alive.”
“What’s with the lack of energy? Didn’t you miss me, Veritas?” 
He did. More than you could ever imagine. “Of course I did.” 
Opening his arms for a hug, you all but run into his embrace, throwing your arms and anchoring yourself to the sturdiness of his torso. After not seeing you for so long, your familiar frame and warmth provides nothing but comfort. 
“Welcome home,” Ratio murmurs into your hairline. 
Your arms squeeze him tighter. “Good to be back.” 
After a few beats of silence, you step away from him and he reluctantly detaches himself from you. 
“I got you something,” you say whilst setting down your bag. Pulling out a suitcase, the purple-haired looks at you inquisitively. “It’s a chess board! I got you a new one to add to your collection!”
Ratio doesn’t bother correcting you that his ‘collection’ only has seven boards at most, but that does not negate his gratitude. 
Even whilst away, you thought of him, and that is a great victory.
“Thank you. We can play together, sometime,” he proposes.
“Oh, please. I could never beat you.”
“Giving up before you even start? That does not sound like the Y/n I know.”
“It’s not ‘giving up’, it’s picking my battles wisely. I could never best you in a game of chess, or any competition of intellect,” you laugh as if the idea itself was ridiculous.
“You shouldn’t discredit yourself based on your own assumptions. I think you make a very capable opponent.”
“I know your tricks, Veritas. Buttering me up just so you can chip at my armour and knock me down when I’m weak, have you no shame?” Your voice is light, with an air of joviality to it, and the purple-haired is enchanted. 
It seems that you don’t know him as well as you think. He finds no shame in hogging as much of your time as possible, even if it is through a game of chess that he will beat you at. He also hopes that you don’t know him well enough to hear the subtle desperation in his voice when he enquires if you’ll be leaving for another mission soon.
“I don’t believe so,” you tell him nonchalantly. “I’ll be stationed here for about two months. They’re expecting a detailed, twenty-page length report from me, so I guess I’ll be locked in my study until that’s complete.”
Ratio clicks his tongue. “Pity.”
(It’s not a pity. He gets to spend two months with you in compensation for the month that he was robbed of.)
“Not to sound self-absorbed, but why weren’t you there are the dock to pick me up?” You ask. 
“Were you disappointed?”
“A little. You’re always the first face I see whenever I come home. It was jarring to not see you amongst the crowd.”
Jealousy slashes at his chest, and he turns away from you to hide his sour expression. “I apologise, I must have lost track of the days.”
“You’re Doctor Veritas Ratio. According to your crazy schedules, there are 72 hours instead of 24 in a standard day, you never lose track.” 
Truth is a fascinating thing. By nature, it is black and white, but it’s perception is what traps fools. Humans have strived to discover an uncontested truth for as long as they have existed, but as long as opinions exist, it will constantly be revised and put together again, ambiguity heavy in the air that surrounds it. 
You, however, are even more fascinating with the way you can deconstruct him so easily.
“If you must know, I was… upset with you because you were not messaging me.”
The silence that follows is deafening.
Your laughter is even more so.
Hubris can really kill a man. Ratio does not need to consult the texts of ancient philosophers to confirm that. 
“Really?” You choke out in between cackles. “I didn’t think such menial things mattered to you!”
“Normally, they don’t.”
“So, I’m a special case then?”
“I shouldn’t need to spell it out for you.”
“Veritas!” You coo, placing your hands on either sides of his face. “I am so flattered!” 
Dr. Ratio is a renowned scholar with eight doctorate degrees. The mere mention of his name will inspire hundreds, if not, thousands, of people who have the faintest lust for academia, spreading marvel and fear amongst students and professors alike. His achievements will be engraved and celebrated by the university for centuries to come, and his classes are so notoriously hard that the passing rate is 3%. 
And yet, here he is, reduced to putty in your hands.
Perhaps that is who he is at his core. Rid from him the alabaster head, the codex, and pride, you’ll be left with a man who is ardently in love with his best friend.
“Stop it, this is ridiculous!” He mutters, hoping to salvage his image at least a little.
You listen to his demands, separating from him with a hearty laugh. “So you really do like me, that’s nice to know.”
(It is far beyond ‘like’ now. Can you come back and hold his face again?)
“I like you when you’re quiet.”
“Clearly not if you loathed my virtual silence! Which, by the way, was caused because the planet I was on had horrible reception. I really need to switch cell providers, mine doesn’t even reach to half way across the galaxy, apparently.”
“Well. I am glad you survived the three weeks without reception, it must have been a formidable challenge for you.”
“Were you worried for me?”
Of course he was. Whilst you freely roam the expansiveness of the universe, the only thing that anchors him to you across the span of light years is a message. “You should stop asking questions you know the answer to.”
“Boo, you’re no fun.” You lean down to grab the bags that lay at your feet, swinging them over one shoulder. Do you have to leave so soon? “Well, I better get going. I’m aching for a shower and a nap. Now that I have proper data and Wifi, rest assured that I will be texting you soon.”
“Cannot wait.” 
“Goodbye, Veritas! I shall see you soon!” 
‘Soon’ is a relative time frame. He can only hope that you won’t keep him waiting again.
The door clicks shut behind you, and not even five seconds later, his phone buzzes with a call.
“Sorry!” Your voice greets from the other end of the line. “Was just testing if my reception actually worked.”
“There is a reason your day job is a Space Researcher and not a comedian.”
“Can’t you at least laugh? Let’s grab dinner tomorrow at half past six, make yourself free, Veritas!” 
You hang up before he can even get a word in, and he’s left to stare at the blank screen of his phone with an idiotic smile.
Everything’s alright when you call him back.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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bumblequinn · 7 months
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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care, bee 🐦
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raitonsfw · 5 months
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𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎 | 𝚐𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚞
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synopsis: Mornings with Gojo were quite...interesting. If it weren’t for his loud snores and constant whines in your ear, you would’ve fallen asleep by now. But alas, you’ve been up for three hours and had no reason to sleep soon when you felt him press up against you with a shudder wracking his body. 
warnings: 18+ mdni, fem!reader, smut, morning p in v, cuddling, wet dreams, grinding, fingering (if you squint), sideways position, begging, teasing, dirty talk, creampie, size kink, a bit rough, pet names (baby), gojo just takes up half of the bed on his own and then some, gojo’s a bit selfish but like he does make up for it, bit ooc for him (i think), idk i tried my best (i wrote this in 3 hours)
a/n: needed to write something fit for this king and its not my greatest work, but its decent at best! still catching up on season 2, (though it's safe to say ik every goddamn spoiler, even manga wise.) wc: 1.5k. m.list
divider credit: @benkeibear
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The figure next to you snored. Loudly. You’ve been awake for the past three hours, listening to Gojo sleep next to you, tossing and turning every which way and you wondered why you moved in with him. You knew he wasn’t a sound sleeper, nightmares tended to fill his dreams, an endless void of them. Constant muttering about nothing was also a normal occurrence and you sighed as you awoke for the tenth time from a drifting sleep as he rolled into your space. Again.
“Satoru..” You said his name quietly, nudging him a bit. He didn’t move.
Of course, why did you think that would work? He’s over six feet, for God’s sake and way bigger than you. You couldn’t move him, no matter how hard you tried. Best to just deal with it til morning. 
The coming sunrise had settled in the midst of your curtains, the colorful pop of orange and you groaned. It was morning. You turned over to face the window, away from Gojo, and buried your head into the pillow again. You just needed to tune him out, though the breath against your neck didn’t quite help as he was pressed up against you in the near middle of the bed now. You two needed a bigger bed. 
You felt his arms stretch around your waist and you contemplated whether or not he was awake. You didn’t notice any changes in his breathing, whether it picked up or not. You closed your eyes, trying to get some rest when you felt his fingers dance against your tummy and a quiet whine emitted from behind you. And here we go again, the incredulous noises he made when he slept would keep you up now. 
Not because of how loud he was now. But because they drove you insane, oh how close he was to your ear and panting out little breaths into your shell. The way he pushed up against you even more, seemingly never wanting to leave your side and clinging to you like you’re his lifeline. Damn near putting on a show for you and he didn’t even realize. 
Or maybe he did and he was awake, who knew anymore? 
You felt him hard against you. The swell of his cock made your cunt leak and suddenly, you weren’t tired anymore. You felt his tiny grinds against your ass and a moan slipped from his mouth, you couldn’t see straight. Not when he was doing it again, for the sake of another wet dream, using you like a toy, his toy, to get off on. 
You should wake him. 
“-toru.” You whispered, pushing back against him and another groan left him along with a gentle stir from his body. You heard his breath quicken and you placed your hand on his, the one resting on your tummy. 
Gojo made a soft noise, more like a hm-, and you noticed his grip on you had gotten stronger. He pulled you almost impossibly close, burying his head into the crook of your neck with his lips pressing a kiss into the crevice. His hips picked up a little, sloppy thrusts against you now and his breath hitched in his throat. He sucked a hickey into your flesh and the hand that rested on your tummy slid down towards the top of your panties, casually playing with the lace. 
You were utterly his now, nothing but consumed by his movements and his fingers dipped below the lace and rubbed at your swollen clit. When he noticed how wet, how absolutely sopping you were for him, he tutted in your ear with a husky chuckle. “Already?” 
You nodded, your head bowing back to meet his. Gojo moved his face in front of you, leaning into you as his fingers slipped into you halfway. His bright eyes were heavy with sleep, lust flickering against the corners and you let out a soft whimper as he playfully pulled out his fingers, the tease he was. You leaned up to kiss him, your hand shooting towards his wrist, but he moved his head and hand away. “Beg for them, baby.” 
You pouted a little as he grinded harder against you, and you swore you felt his throbbing cock twitch at your pout. A whine drew out from Gojo’s throat as his head snapped up to look at the headboard, panting quietly. His mouth had dropped open and you took the opportunity to kiss at his jawline, muttering nothing but pleas into his skin. “Please... Satoru.”
What a fucking asshole he was too, solely getting off on you like this. You whined again, nipping at his skin as he lifted your leg up over against his and pressed the bulge of his cock right against the heat of your cunt. He dragged it against you, almost thigh fucking you now as he pulled himself out of his boxers. The crown of it nudged against your clothed core and you gasped lightly, your mind imploringly made up on sobbing for his cock now.
“You want it?” Gojo asked with a demanding breath. He slipped your panties off of your left leg, rubbing his length between your folds. His hand braced your leg now, holding it in the air slightly and the other tangled into your hair. He grinned down at you, his whole body flush with yours now except for his fucking dick which was teasing your clit. He was big, his body and his dick, both and you shuddered against him as you thought about what he could do to you. 
It took you forever just to sink down on him when he begged you to ride, it didn’t seem like he’d go easy on you this morning. Not when his dirty thoughts had been replenished by a wet dream of you. 
You whimpered out endless pleas and he sank into you with a loud groan. The man was loud during sex too, not just when he slept and you yearned for his loudness then. Gojo thrusted all the way into you, nearly splitting you in two, and you cried out as you felt him press against your cervix. 
“S-So tight around me, fuck…” He groaned, his hand tightening on your thigh and you arched your back off the bed, looking down at where you two were connected. You felt so full, stuffed to the brim with nothing but gojo, gojo, gojo-. He pulled your hair sharply, making you look at him with a smirk. “Eyes on me, baby.” 
You moaned in response as he rammed into you harshly, not giving you any time to adjust to his size. Your eyes nearly swam in the back of your head and he finally, finally, pulled you into a kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth and you couldn’t help your whimpers as he swallowed them whole. He fucked into you with vigor, your slick lubing up his cock nicely. 
“Yeah, take it all, that’s good, doing so well for me.” He snapped his hips into you, glancing down at him inside you and his breath hitched, his moans became light and airy as you clenched around him with a whine. Fuck, you loved when Gojo praised you, your walls tightening even more around him from the sound of his voice. “Squeezing me in like a champ, shit-”
He sucked at the soft flesh of your breasts, nipping lightly at your nipple as he pounded into you. You watched his eyebrows furrow in pleasure and he panted against your skin, his eyes squeezing shut and you knew he was close– you could barely register your own release nearing as you thought of his own wracking his body soon.
Your orgasm came flooding through you and you leaked all over his cock, the tension snapping within you and you couldn’t control how your hands flew to his back, scratching down it brutally. Gojo came right after you, whimpers flying out of his mouth and he bit down against your collarbone harshly, leaving a fresh mark. His cock twitched inside you as he spurted his cum in you, languidly pushing it into you further. His hips barely stilled, only stopping when he came down from his high and when you whined from the overstimulation. 
“Did I wake you up again?” Gojo asked a few moments later, the silence lingering in the air. He didn’t bother to pull out of you, his head laying on your chest now. The sun had made its way into the sky now, pouring sunlight into the room. “If I did, I’m sorry.” 
Yeah, he did wake you, but you’re glad he did. You’re glad he snores loudly in his sleep. You’re glad he tosses and turns in the smack dab middle of the bed. You’re glad he pressed himself against you, taking up all the space on the bed. You’re glad he’s selfish with his sleeping habits even if he doesn't mean it. 
And he’s glad that you even agreed to sleep next to him, in the midst of his chaotic nights.
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a/n: wanna get tagged in future writing posts? join my taglist!
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bokutosbiceps · 7 months
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bodyguard boyfriend
eustass kid/monkey d luffy/roronoa zoro/trafalgar d water law/vinsmoke sanji x gn!reader | fluff | ~900 words
warnings: some suggestive/18+ themes but nothing explicit, cursing
a/n: okay, this was heavily inspired by @pileofmush because she wrote such a beautiful match up for me + zoro that i started to think about how some of my fav boys would be protective over their s/o !! this is more comedic than romantic but i had such a good time writing it :3
18+ MDNI
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eustass kid isn't afraid to straight up tell someone to fuck off. he’ll sneer at them through gritted teeth as he stands behind you, keeping a protective hand on the small of your back. if that alone is not enough to send anyone in a twenty foot vicinity scurrying away, he'll approach whoever has their eyes set on you.
“what the fuck do you think you're looking at?” kid will cross his arms and make himself look bigger, which really isn't necessary with his nearly seven foot frame. “get lost, you piece of shit, or i'll make you regret it.”
if this person isn't stupid, they'll immediately obey and never show their face around you again.
you're always oblivious to others’ attention, though, since kid takes care of it so quickly.
“where'd you go?” you’d ask, looking over your shoulder as kid returned to you.
“nowhere, doll, nothin’ to worry about.” he’d say gruffly before assuming his rightful place next to you and draping an arm over your shoulders.
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monkey d luffy doesn't ever get jealous! he doesn't mind if you talk to other people who may or may not be attractive to you, and he doesn't mind if people blatantly hit on you. it's not like he’d ever really pick up on the fact that someone's flirting with you, anyway.
there are times when he becomes protective, though, and that is if someone is harassing you relentlessly, despite your attempts to free yourself from the situation. 
he’ll place himself between you and the assailant, his arms outstretched as he herds you behind him. all he has to do is glare at them, and the cheerful boy who'd been by your side is quickly replaced by your strong and capable boyfriend, who’d fight the gods themselves to keep you safe and sound.
“leave ‘em alone.” he'd say lowly, and that's the only thing he’d have to do. afterwards, he'd wrap his limbs all the way around you and rub his cheek against yours, speaking to you in a soft voice but with a huge grin on his face to try and cheer you up.
“you doin’ okay? i got rid of ‘em for ya. you'll never hafta worry about ‘em again!”
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roronoa zoro is hyper aware of all of his surroundings. every time you're in public, he notices anyone and everyone who happens to even look in your direction. you'd never know it, though, since he's always good at keeping his cool and aloof in most situations.
“i don’ like the way that person is lookin’ atcha.” zoro would grunt, keeping one hand on his swords and the other wrapped around your waist, fingers pressing into your skin.
“ro, there's no one looking at me. calm down.” you'd say with a chuckle. “be my boyfriend, not my guard dog.”
he'd narrow his eyes at you, a very subtle frown grazing his lips, but he'd comply nonetheless. you're right, after all, there's nothing to worry about. 
so he'd just resort to being glued to your backside, hands on your hips and head on a swivel, glaring daggers at this person until they slink away. once they're gone, he'd smirk and huff a satisfied chuckle, letting himself relax as he rests his head in the crook of your neck and closes his eyes. yeah, he's not too worried about it.
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trafalgar d water law doesn't typically get jealous. if he does, he'll hold it in his heart and let it weigh heavy on his chest and just send death wishes to whoever is taking your attention away at the moment. it's very easy for him to get you out of these situations, though. he doesn't really want to deal with conflict, he's too tired for that shit. so he has a very simple solution.
he’ll approach you and the unwelcome stranger, sighing and taking his hands out of his pockets.
“room.” law raises his hand, sending a devious smirk from underneath his cap toward the stranger. “shambles.”
and then the stranger would be gone, simple as that.
you'd turn to law with an exasperated look. “you just can't help yourself can you?”
he would just exhale a chuckle and pull you close with one arm, not saying a word.
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vinsmoke sanji becomes aggressively aware immediately after anyone of the opposite sex expresses even the most minute amount of interest in you. it could be a smile that looks just a little to friendly or a glance that lasts a little too long, he's on it.
he won't let you notice, though. he'll keep his loving and cheerful demeanor, speaking to you in a sweet voice and continuing to call you by your pet name whenever you speak to him. but he's going to be stalking around you, blocking the pursuer’s line of sight with his body while keeping his hands on your hips.
“i’ll be right back, darling!” he’d tilt your chin up to place a sweet kiss to your lips before quickly approaching the stranger and grabbing them by their collar, dragging them out of the area. 
he wouldn't physically harm them, but he'd shove them against a wall and threaten the fuck out of them. “if you ever so much as look at my precious y/n-chan again, i will personally deliver you to hell.”
then he'd be off, running back to your arms with such zest and sweet excitement!
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taglist: @kingofthe-egirls @chopperwithouthishat @usoppsstar + mush but she's already tagged lolol
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khuzena · 1 month
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Waiting room
Pairing: Dr ratio, Aventurine, Sunday x g/n!reader
Summary: You can love, get on your knees and wait on a miracle. There are things that are for you and aren't for you, you should know. It's for the better.
Cw. Heavy angst, no comfort, 1% fluff, manipulative men, toxic relationships, insecurities, death?, unrequited love, breakups, them neglecting you cos…, no closure, what is love?
A/n: hi, time to make you cry. I'm getting writer's block as I'm making a new novel!! It has the ‘your guardian angel’ fics plot but w my characters. 🥳
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Dr ratio
He's a simple man, really.
Drown yourself in endless textbooks, advanced literature and neglect every other thing.
Like his thirst for knowledge; love is endless, affection is abundant.
Is what you initially thought.
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It has been the 4th time this week that he turned down your requests, “Dear, you know I have no time for that.”
He does not try to sugarcoat his words, he does not try to make his tone less harsh, “I don't have time for dates, such a waste of time.'' He says it like it is, he says it like it's true.
Your eyebrows creased, annoyed at his flippant attitude, “What do you mean waste of time?”
Veritas takes one glance at you, then back to his nonsense book. To him, it was useless wasting his breath on arguing with you.
“Veritas, you said we'll go, you promised.”
He is cruel, his words flinty. “I do not recall making any atrocious promises to you, are you perhaps going insane?”
Insane?
“Insane? Last week, you promised me.”
“I did not.”
“Yes you did.”
He scoffs, as if offended, “If I did, then I was not thinking straight. I have a thesis due tomorrow. A date can wait.”
Veritas is a man with priorities and out of all of them, it seems, you were not one of them. He'd rather his books kept him company, not you. It's obvious, his pursuit of knowledge was greater than loving you.
He lit his lamp, taking his pen and highlighting some paragraphs, what was so important with them? You could not help but come closer, skimming through the contents, it was just some theory some genius society member wrote.
“You're miserable,” it might've accidentally slipped out, but it was true; he is, in fact, the most miserable of all men.
Veritas rolled his eyes, pushing his reading glasses and annotating whatever statement was written. The candle light flickered when his heavy breaths fanned over it, not paying mind to whatever you say.
Your patience was thinning, how long was he planning to play this damned game?
“Veritas.”
You call out once.
“Veritas!”
Again, in anger.
“Veritas”
The last time, desperately.
He does not respond, he does not care. Yet your voice was ringing in his ears in an unpleasant way, “Is this about the date?”
You were taken aback by his curt reply, it wasn't just about the date. “Is that all? Do you think that's the only reason?”
“Hypothetically speaking, yes.”
“Cut the bullshit, veritas.”
Veritas glares at you, as if making a statement; a bullshit one at that. He does not have time for mindless topics, he's overworked, he's tired, he's unsatisfied.
For a moment, you have the urge to yell at him. This shallow bastard has done nothing but fool you with aureate words, he writes poetry about you and shows you off.
He loves you because you are all he has. He may be an asshole but he loves you the way he knows how to love you.
Tonight, however, you are done with his bullshit. You do not argue further, he is confused. When you leave this room with no more qualms, when you do not scream at him, he is bewildered.
“Where are you going?” It's strange that he noticed you for the first time. Only when you get dressed up and when he hears the keys jingle, does he notice every single detail.
You adjusted the cuffs of your blouser, “I'm staying at a friend's”
“Which one?”
“None of your business.”
Stunned, he drops his pen. Why are you acting so off? You're driving him insane.
“What do you mean none of my business? Stop acting so childish.”
That was your last straw, childish? Childish? The fucking audacity.
“You are more childish.”
“How so?”
“You— do I even have to explain it?”
Nothing could quell your frustration other than being away from him for the meantime, “Yes,” he loves you, he wants to know. But even if he does, he never learns; so much for a genius.
“You neglect me, you prioritise this,” it was tempting to crumple his papers, “—over me.” So you did.
He is indifferent. He does not understand how and why it hurts you. So he tries to understand it from a logical standpoint, “So you want to really go on that date?”
“I'm tired of asking”
Tired of begging him to treat you right, to love you like you want him to love you.
He stays quiet.
“I'm tired of begging for something so small.”
“You didn't have to destroy my goddamn book,” he seethed and pulled the book from your hands, too absorbed in the damage of the book he does not notice how much he has damaged you. Veritas is too blind to see you holding back tears despite wearing his glasses.
The force surprised you, “Is that thing much more important?”
“What?”
“Answer me Veritas Ratio.”
It was merely just a book, but it was precious. It was a rare one, it annoyed him to immeasurable depths when you crumpled it so recklessly.
He does not answer.
“I'm leaving,” he's not sure if leaving meant temporarily, he hopes it is. He hopes you come back again tomorrow night.
So he waits. Tomorrow came, but you did not come home.
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Aventurine
He loves you, he really does.
His idea of love is adorning you with jewels, showering you with riches.
Too much that you suffocate, it hurts. You can't breathe, soulless eyes stare into yours.
It's when you realise, he's trapping you. Does he think you're stupid? What does he take you for?
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“Darling! I got you a gift!”
The 22nd one this week… Aventurine makes haste and runs behind you, wearing the necklace on you, it looks… okay.
You look like a doll, his doll.
But you are not a doll, you are human.
And like all humans, we all wish to be loved and cherished as an equal.
“Do you like it?” It would be rude to say no, but it does not fit you. Sure it accentuates your neck, but it's too much.
“I…” you traced your finger over the gem, “I do.”
“Great! I'll get you another tomorrow!” It is tiring. As much as planets worth of gold and extravagant jewels excite you, you would rather be in his presence.
You do not recall the last day he's ever taken you out on a proper date, you do not recall any time where he's been open to you about his past because you know damn well his name could never just be ‘Aventurine’.
You were sitting on the couch, sipping tea with your eyes glued to your book. Before you knew it, soft lips grazed on your cheek.
“You're back earlier than expected,” he smiles as he pressed another kiss onto you, “I ditched the meeting, for you.”
Oh how you hate it when he does things in your name just to make you indebted to him. Aventurine loves you, but love is transactional.
“Is that so?” He nods, wrapping his arms around you. “I'll buy you something again, we have another business trip in Penacony.”
It makes you wonder, does he think gifts are the only thing that'll make you stay?
He could see the reluctance in your eyes, “Is something on your mind?”
You bit your lip, “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
A deafening silence fills the room before he chuckles, he is everything but stupid. He knows, he knows you want to spend time with him, he knows you’d incinerate those gifts in a heartbeat just to trade even an hour spending time with him.
“Dear, I promise, next time,” he pressed light kisses on your exposed shoulder, but it isn’t enough: what truly is enough?
You want to push him away, with how ruthless he is with making empty promises so easily, “You said ‘next time’ last time.”
”I promise, I do.” Even he sounds unsure. You pick up on the hint of hesitation laced in his promises, he regrets it, but he thinks; he’s doing it for you, for the both of you.
“You said that too last month,” you scoff.
He tried to intertwine your fingers together yet to no avail, you rejected him, “Why are you acting up again?”
There’s only so many gifts can buy but he can never purchase the time lost that could’ve been spent in lazy mornings together yet he traded it all for credits. The second attempt, he forces a smile and even pulls a tiny ring for you, that gem you loved so much engraved in the centre. Words cannot express how much you despise these gifts because it was just a pathetic compensation for the neglect.
”Please, next month.” He took your hand in his and put the ring on your ring finger. “Okay?”
You cling to that possibility, to that sliver of hope when he is done with Penacony, he is relieved of his duties and he is finally free. That he no longer has to overcompensate for his absence and shower you with the time he’s lost.
You know next month won’t come, yet you are no different from a fool.
”Okay”
You wait upon endless tomorrows, two months have passed and none of his coworkers have any good news about his well-being. They’re sure he’s dead, but you still wait for that tomorrow where he is home to come.
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Sunday
Love, what truly is love?
Is it when you praise your lover with endless ‘I love you’s?
Is it when you hold their hand and protect them for the impending doom to come?
or rather, is love just a fallacy built on a string of lies?
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Sunday believes that he knows what’s best for you.
Before Sunday, you were allowed to make your own decisions.
Before Sunday, you actually had freedom.
The halovian swears he knows what’s best for you.
He makes sure everything you want or need, you get.
Sunday will kiss your tears away, even if he is the sole reason for them. ”It’s for your own good.” he says.
To strip you of freedom, to shackle you to him like a bird in a cage. His sweet kisses, his love, his everything; they’re all fucking poison. He does not hesitate to drown you in his poison if it means protecting you.
You cry out, “Sunday.” In desperate pleas.
But he will not listen, he’ll pretend he doesn’t hear anything.
He believes that if he gives you the taste of freedom, you’ll find a way to fly away from his grasp– he will not allow it. So he does what he’s best at, keeping you stuck to him.
”What do you want, dear?” He smiles at you like he’s never sinned.
You throw away the pathetic gifts he adorned you with, gold, diamonds and stones you could not name but they are not what you want, “I want to see my friends.”
”They’re no good, trust me.” Your friends once told you that you should go, that he’s toxic, but you were a fool to drown in him.
“What do you know about my friends?” He’s done everything to kill that flame inside of you, that hope that maybe one day you’d escape him and be free once again, you’re a fool, he thinks.
He clicks his tongue as he puts down his newspaper at the coffee table, ”They tried to take you away from me.”
”They did not, you know I would never leave you.” A blatant lie but it's stupid that you take him for a fool that’ll believe your words.
He only chuckles, your attempts to get away from him are futile, it’s pathetic it makes him laugh. “I admire your confidence, but you’re staying here tonight.”
Death has never been more alluring under his influence, but you can not die.
“Please,” you beg again, but he only presses his finger to your lips, “Shh…”
”One day you’ll thank me for taking such good care of you.” He gets down on his knees to kiss the back of your hand, “You’re safe here.”
He gets up to sit right next to you, he doesn’t flinch when you slap his face away when he tries to kiss you. The man only grabs your wrist when you try to push him away again. He kisses you with passion, in love but is it truly love when there is no trust?
There’s no use questioning his intentions, “This is for your own good.”
What good is there when there is no freedom? He thinks beautiful birds should be protected. Even if it meant being trapped in a cage, stripped of any sense of freedom, as long as you're safe, as long as you're here with him, he is content. "Dont give me that look."
Your eyes train on the way he rolls his eyes at your defiance, "Just let me go."
Sunday glares at you, his grip on your wrist tight, you're sure he's about to tear it off. "No."
When will you stop acting like a child?
The halovian is too far down the rabbit hole of self righteousness and his obsession with you that he if he needs to tear you limb by limb to keep you close to him, to keep you from rubbing away, he will do it.
His phone rings, it must be business calls again, Penacony sure is in a state of chaos when it's crumbling down. He lets go off you to take his phone.
"Yes yes... Sunday speaking."
You dont understand what they're murmuring about. All you could register is it's something about his sister.
His facial expression turned grim the more time he spent on the phone. The phone call ends and he puts it down, the life from his face drained but when he sees you, he is relieved.
You are still here with him.
He intertwined your hands together, you can feel anger and despair that he's exuding as he stares at you like a deer in the headlights. "Please, promise me."
"You'll never leave me too."
It doesn't sound like a question, it sounds like a statement.
You'll truly never know what freedom is, for that is only a privilege that you can never have. In his arms you cannot cry, because he'll drown you in his lies again and again.
On the bright side, you are never alone. You will always have Sunday, whether you like it or not.
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Note: bye i got extreme writer's block at Sunday's part I had to take almost a 2 week break bc i rlly have no idea what to write for him oh my god. I absolutely did not give them justice 😥
Written by @khuzena. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. ♡ 
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chansshands · 2 months
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Bed bugs
Pairing: Idol! Chan x fem! reader
Genre: smut, fluff, maybe crack idk
Warnings: slight choking (just a hand on the neck, nothing more) (f! receiving), dry humping, oral sex (m! receiving), make-out session, cuddles, mention of Chan's room.
Author notes: when I first started writing "Physiotherapy and Coconut Oil" back at the beginning of October, I was convinced to write it as fluff, mainly because I can't write smut; after a couple of weeks, I left it in my drafts, and leave it there till the first two weeks of December, I was under heavy medication bc I had a painful surgery on my foot, and the only thing that helped to go through insomnia caused by the pain was writing that story, I wrote and wrote day and night, and it helped so so much, that's why I was shocked when @ardef38 asked for a pt 2, so here you go love, I hope you like it.
(Kinda proof read, it’s 1:40 am as I’m ’reading’ this so, be patient I’ll correct any mistakes later)
Fun fact: I do really ride motorcycles since I was 17 (and yes I may be reckless).
Word count: +4k (I got carried away I’m sorry)
Thank you so much, I really, really appreciate all the feedback, I love you all.🩷
Sincerely Glo
As always, requests are open!
-✉️
I'm so insecure about my English. As I said, it's not my first language, and I'm always scared to make mistakes or stuff like that. So, if you find mistakes, please let me know. I'll be thankful, and my English will improve!
-✉️
You can read part one here
"Stop moving. I'm trying to sleep."
he mumbles on your back
"I can't, I'm sorry."
You mumble
"Why? What is happening, baby?"
he asks, hugging you tighter
"Uhm, I'm sorry my insomnia is bothering me, I-i don't know why."
"What can I do for you? A cup of tea? cuddles?"
he asks
"I don't know either, honestly, usually I stay in bed and stare at the ceiling."
"It's a common thing?"
he whispers, almost like he doesn't want to be heard by someone
"What? That I can't sleep? Oh yeah, definitely.”
you say, turning yourself towards him
"Mh"
"You should be tired, you know that? after a full day of work and after what we did."
he says
"I know, Channie, but my brain can't shut down."
"I have an idea."
he says, hugging you tighter, your head on his chest with his hand between your hair
"What?"
you ask, looking at him
"Shhhh, just close your eyes and relax, okay?"
"Mh, okay. I doubt that whatever you're about to do, you'll make me fall asleep."
"Shshhh"
close your eyes
go to sleep
know my love is all around
dream in peace
when you wake
you will know I'm still with you
He repeats the verse over and over until you don't hear him anymore.
You know that you fall asleep because of his voice and the lullaby that he was singing, and the way he was stroking your hair gently, but mostly because he's warm; one time, someone said that he's like the feeling of walking in a warm room after spending the whole day out in the cold. It's true he really is like that domestic feeling.
"Good morning, ray of sunshine. How did you sleep?"
he asks you when you walk into your kitchen
"Oh, good morning. I thought you were already gone and good. I don't know which magic you've put in your cuddles and voice, but I haven’t slept like this in months."
you say
"Gone? No, I had to make you breakfast since I've slept over and used your bathroom to shower. I also used your body wash. Now I know why you smell so good."
he says while working on something at the stove
"That's why the bottle is half empty."
you giggle, hugging him from behind
"I'm sorry. I'll rebuy it for you."
he says
"Ya, it's okay, you don't have to. you smell like me now,"
"Yep, and trust me, I love it."
he says
"Yeah?"
"Mhmm"
"Aaah, you're warm, Channie it's freezing today even if it's mid-summer."
you say, hugging him from behind
"It has rained all night, we didn't notice because we were...umh...busy."
he says, turning towards you
"Busy...yeah...Chan, oh my god, it was...did I do these?"
you ask, touching his neck and chest
"No, no, it was a bed bug."
"Ehi -you slap his chest- I-god, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too. we got carried away, didn't we?"
he says, touching your neck and making you shiver
"Definitely, but I'm going to be honest I don't mind it and I don’t regret it.”
you say, smiling and kissing him on his naked chest
"Chan...-you say, sniffing around- something is burning."
"NO THE PANCAKES!"
he quickly turns towards the stove, swearing and mumbling against the burnt cakes
"Fuck, i-i wanted to make you breakfast."
he pouts, looking at the burnt pancakes
"It's okay, Channie -you giggle- thing like this happens when you're distracted."
"So you're saying that is your fault?"
he asks, looking at you, one of his dimples popping out
"Yeah, definitely."
you laugh
"Okay, put something on. I'll buy you breakfast."
"No."
you say
"Yes."
he says
"No."
"Yes."
"I said no."
"And I said yes."
"Channie, you don't have to"
"But I want to"
he says
"But-ugh, what if people see us around."
you say
"You're part of the staff, and we can go to the JYP cafeteria, the one inside the building."
"Mh, okay, but with one condition."
"Which one?"
he asks
a smirk appears on your face
"I don't like that smile."
he says
"I'll take you to the building with my motorcycle."
"You-you can ride?"
he asks
"yeah, I thought you liked it when I did it on your-"
"Shsh, don't-shut up, okay, okay."
he says, covering your mouth with one of his hands
"You're not reckless, aren't you?"
he asks with a worried tone
"Me? Reckless? absolutely not."
you smile
"That smile...I don't trust you."
"Not my business, Channie."
10 minutes later, you are in the elevator, and funny to say, but both of you choose a black hoodie (mostly because you have to cover your hickeys and not to catch a cold since the air is fresher)
"You copied my outfit."
you say, looking at him
"Do it look like I'm wearing Doc Martens and leggings?"
he asks, looking at you
"No, even if you would look good in leggings, but your outfit is total black, just like mine."
"I always dress like this."
“I aLwAyS dReSs LiKe ThIs”
You mock him
“It’s true, my whole wardrobe is black.”
"Yeah, but you still copied my outfit."
you smile, walking outside the elevator, Chan being by your side
"Jagiya.."
he says
"Mh?"
you say, not paying attention to the feeling that you felt in your stomach after that nickname
"I'm scared."
he says, looking at his feet
"About..?"
you say opening your garage door
"I've never been on a motorcycle."
he says shyly
"It's okay, Channie. There is a first time for everything. I'm going to explain everything, okay?"
"You-fuck, you can drive this thing?"
he asks
"Yeah, she's my baby."
"Baby? it's huge, how can you manage to drive this?"
you shrug your shoulders, looking at him
"I just do it, just trust me okay?"
"I do trust you."
he says
"Yeah?"
you ask, looking at him, and he simply nods
"Okay, big boy, put this on."
you say, giving him one of your motorcycle jackets
"I hope it fits; one of my friends gifted it to me, but she took three sizes bigger than mine, and I couldn't return it."
"It's a little bit tight on my shoulders."
he says, closing the zip
"It fits perfectly; you have protections, so it has to be tight."
you say, zipping your protective jacket
"It's weird. I'm not used to tight things."
he says, putting his backpack on his shoulders again
"Now, move, I have to take the motorcycle out of the garage. Can you grab the two helmets there? and when you're out, close the door, please."
you say, pointing at a wood cabinet. You press the clutch and move backward with the motorcycle; when the bike is in the correct position, you press down the stand.
"Okay, give me these."
you say, taking the helmets from his hands
"I'm going to put the helmets on you, okay, and I'll explain everything."
you say, putting the helmet on him. You do the same with yours
"Does it feel loose?"
you ask
"No, it's perfect."
you can see him smiling even if half of his face is covered
"And now -you press the inter-phone button- can you hear me?"
"Oh yeah, it's like you're inside my head."
he giggles
you turn on your bike, leaving her roar
"Damn, it's loud."
he giggles
"Okay, so -you say, straddling the motorcycle pushing the stand up with your foot- use that thing to get on and sit here."
you say, patting on the small sitting place for him
"Are you sure you can-?"
he asks
"Yes, trust me, Chan, I've been riding since I was 17."
you smile at him
he sits behind you, getting more comfortable once the bike is stable
"See? You won't fall; both of my feet are on the ground."
"Keep your feet there when we're on the road, don't put them on the ground at a red light or a stop sign. You have to put your arms around me tight or on the tank, especially when I brake; you'll feel it, so don't worry. When we take a turn, you have to follow me with your body. You're basically my shadow, or even better, my backpack, so follow every movement I make, okay?"
you say
"Yep"
"Now, arms around me."
you say, waiting for his arms
"Hold on tight."
you say before pressing the clutch with your left and putting the first gear with your left foot
"Here we goooo."
you say
"Oh my god, we're moving, ahah wow."
"Hold on tight, Channie."
you say, patting on his hands
"That's-wow, oh my god."
"You want me to go faster?"
you say once you're on the road
"Fuck yes"
he says
and you do as he said. You accelerate and shift gear; the sun has been out for hours, so the road is dry now.
"How does it feel?"
you ask him
"It's like, I don't know how to explain it."
"Freedom?"
you suggest
"Yeah, yes, that's the right word."
he says
"That's why you do it? I mean, that's why you drive?"
you hear his voice through the inter-phone, and you simply nod.
"Can you go faster? I wanna feel free."
he says
"Of course."
you giggle, and you shift once again the gear, the two of you speeding in the streets of Seoul, zig-zagging between the buses, cars, and taxis
"Oh my gooood, too fast, too fast"
he almost screams
"Ahahah, just hold onto me, and you'll be fine, Channie. Trust me."
the grip of his arms around your waist getting tighter
"You're crazy."
he says
"I know"
"And reckless, and oh my god, I want to do this every day."
he says
"I know -you laugh- should I pick you up tomorrow?"
"Oh, I—I'm not that brave. God, you have a big pair of balls to drive a thing like this. I could never."
"Oh, you could, and you would look so hot in one of these, with a compression shirt on-ush what a vision."
you say
"Are you fantasizing about me?"
he asks
"I mean, yeah, you as a biker? damn, Christopher, I would be on my knees."
you say, teasing him
"You were on your knees for me yesterday, and definitely, I'm not a biker."
he says, teasing you back
"I- you- uh- I hate you."
you say
"Yeah, yeah, it was clear with all the 'oh, ah' that you were whimpering against my ear last night."
he says, placing one of his hands on your thighs
"Oh-you-shut up"
you say, glad that he can't see the color of your cheeks
"Here we are person that I absolutely hate, and it's banned from my house."
you say braking and turning off the motorcycle once you're in the proper park
"Oh c'mon, I was joking -he says, taking off his helmet- I'll never mention cute whimpers again."
he pouts
"Shhh, are you crazy talking about this here?"
"Right, 'm sorry, where do I put this?"
he asks, lifting his helmet
"Oh, just bring it with you."
you say
"So...umh, breakfast?"
he asks, breaking the silence between the two of you
"Yeah, breakfast."
you sigh, looking at him, his hair messed up because of the helmet
"Ladies first"
he says, opening the front door of the building for you
"Oh, what a gentleman."
you say, walking toward the elevator, bowing to the person who just stepped out of the elevator
"Yeah, gentleman."
he mumbles, pressing the number three, and once the elevator doors closed, you talk
"What you're mumbling about?"
you look at him
"Nothing"
"Chan, c'mon, you can't do this after what we did."
"I'm -he sighs- I let you go first to look at your ass in those stupid leggings, so I'm not a gentleman."
he crosses his arms
"Oh, well, I'll make sure to put them more often."
you say, shrugging your shoulders
"You're not mad?"
he asks
"that you look at my ass when you can? No. You literally saw me naked, so that's nothing of this -you point at your whole body- that you haven't seen."
"Mh, good to know."
he smirks, and once the lift doors open, he goes
"Ladies first, of course."
he winks at you and you can do nothing but laugh at him.
after a couple of minutes of indecision, his indecision actually, he brings to the table two tall cups of cappuccino and a piece of cake for him
"You sure that you don't want a bite?"
he asks, offering you a piece of pie
"Hundred percent Chan"
you smile at him
"Do you have to work today?"
he asks
"Uhm... no, I don't think so, actually. I'm here just for breakfast—you giggle—why?"
"I have to meet with Han and Binnie for some fixes on a new song and do the usual Sunday live, so...would you mind coming with me?"
"I- you- you want me in your studio?"
"Yes"
"The one where no one is allowed?"
"Mhmm"
he nods, sipping on his cappuccino
"The one where the darker aura Christopher works?"
"Yes, that one."
"Mh, okay, if you... don't mind having me there."
you shrug your shoulders
"I don't mind it. You have a relaxing effect on me."
he says
"Interesting"
you say, sipping on your coffee
"The boys are already there. Should we go?"
"I follow you, mister dark aura."
"Oh, shut up."
he says, looking at you
"Hello everyone"
he says, entering in the studio
"Hi Hyung"
the bandmates say at the same time
"Oh, y/n? Hi, what are you doing here?"
"I-uh, I saw him in the middle of the street, he was like an abandoned puppy."
"Hey"
he says, sitting down in his working chair
"So I offered him a ride on my motorbike, and to pay me back, he offered me breakfast."
you laugh nervously
"You ride a motorcycle?"
changbin asks
"Yes? why does everybody find this weird."
you say
"I don't know, you don't look like someone who rides a motorcycle."
Binnie says
"But I am."
you laugh, sitting on the couch in the studio
The three men start working on the new song. You're not paying too much attention because
1. you're too distracted by the way Chan gets so severe when he's at work, so bossy but at the same time gentle with his members
2. you're working too, on your phone, but you're working, planning all the appointments with the members and the artists of JYP
"Oh, looks like someone had fun last night."
you hear Han's voice, and you're head snaps toward his direction so fast that you hear a crack in your neck
"Yeah, you weren't home last night. Where were you last night, Chan?"
Changbin says
then you notice that Chan took off his hoodie, revealing all the hickeys and bite marks on his neck
"What?"
he asks, looking at them
"Your neck Chan, what the fuck? What did you do?"
Han asks
"Uh, bed bugs."
he says, typing and clicking on his computer, not paying too much attention to them
"Yeah, a big one."
Han says
"One with human teeth"
Changbin laughs
"Oh shut up, the two of you."
Chan says, his cheeks turning pink
"Who is she?"
asks the two gossipy men
"No one, it was a bed bug."
he says once again
"Do you know anything about this?"
Changbin asks, and both of them turn toward you
"Uh, bed bugs are big these days."
you shrug your shoulders
"Mh, yeah."
they look at each other with a smirk
after a couple of minutes, they stopped asking about his marks and focused again on their work, recording some chorus, laughing when someone went out of tune, and listening over and over again at the song till it was perfect
"Aaaaand we're done."
Chan says, stretching up his arms in the air and clapping at the work of 3racha
"Aaaagh, I'm hungry."
Changbin says
"Me too."
Han says
"Hyung, y/n wanna join us for lunch?"
"Oh no, I must go now, maybe next time."
you smile at them
"I have to do the live so."
chan says
"Oh, okay."
they say
"Bye Hyung, Y/N see you on Tuesday."
Han says
"Bye guys, see you."
you smile
"Hyung, see you at the dorm and make sure to eat, or you get nervous, little bed bug…See you on Tuesday."
Binnie says, smiling at you and closing the door behind his back
"HOW THE FUCK DID HE?"
you say, covering your face with your hands
"He's not stupid."
Chan says
"But don't worry, they won't spill anything to anyone, that's for sure."
he gets up from his chair, locks the door of the studio, and walks toward you
"Ugh, are you sure?"
you ask, your voice muffled by your hands
"Yes, I trust them with my whole life. They're nosy, I know, but we have a rule: what happens or what we say in the studio stays in the studio."
He says, sitting next to you.
"Are you sure? I- I loved hat we did, and I love our bond, but I don't want to lose my job, Chan, I've worked so hard to be here, and I don't want to ruin everything because I had sex with you."
you say, looking at him
"Ouch"
he says
"No, no, I don't want you to think that I'm using you because I'm not okay? I loved our friendship way before what happened last night."
"I get what you're saying, y/n, don't worry, it's just that you're...I don't know…after what we did, I don't know what are we? friends? Best friends? friends with benefits?"
he looks at you
"Friends with..."
"Benefits, you know, two friends that have sex occasionally but remain friends."
"Yeah, Chan, I know what friends with benefits are."
"So?"
"What?"
you ask
"Friends with benefits? it will be our dirty little secret."
he says
"Mh, friends with benefits"
you nod
"Let's start this thing from now, yeah?"
he says, pulling your face towards him
"Yes, fuck yes."
you say, breaking the distance between the two of you, kissing his plumped lips again
"The door is locked, and we have about thirty minutes."
he says between the kisses
"Ugh, not enough time."
you say, pulling back from him
"We can go back to my place after the live, yeah?"
he nods, kissing your lips again, more roughly this time. You shift your position, straddling him, your legs on the side of his thighs
"It's not-that simple to- touch you with these stupid- mhpf yoga pants."
he says, kissing your lips
"You said that you loved them."
you say
"Yeah, and now I hate them; I can't touch you properly, which frustrates me."
He says, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his bulge against your clit
"It's okay, we don't need to take our pants off."
you say, smiling at him
"What- why? c'mon, I wanna see that pretty pussy of yours."
he says, frustrated, leaving his head against the headrest of the couch
"Mh, not now."
you say, starting to grind on his hard bulge
"Oh shit, what- do it again, please,"
he says, placing his hands on your hips, guiding you back and forth against him. You kiss gently his neck, trying not to bite him or suck his soft skin because his neck is already a mess.
"You- god"
he tries to say, one of his hands traveling around your body, grabbing one of your breasts under the hoodie
"Uh? you're not wearing a bra?"
he says
"Nope, free the nipples, Christopher."
You laugh while looking at him, poor guy, he looks desperate
"Fuck, full access all this time? Why didn’t you tell me? God, y/n, you're going to drive me crazy."
he says, kissing your lips. You laugh in his lips and keep grinding on his hard cock
"Please take your hoodie off, I want- at least I want to see your boobs."
"Uhm, so needy, aren't you?"
you ask, and he simply nods
you take off your hoodie, shivering, not because you're cold, no it's way too hot in the room, but because of the way that he looks at you; it looks like he wants you to eat you alive, literally. He licks his lips, looking at your boobs at then looking at your face, his eyes jumping between your two twins and your eyes
"What?"
you ask, looking at him, moving a clump of hair from his face
"I want to suck them."
he simply says
"Then do it. Don't be shy, Christopher."
"Oh, don't call me like that."
he says, looking at you, his eyes darkened
"I know that you like it, just admitted."
you whisper to his ear
"Mphf, if you don't stop grinding on me, I'll cum in my pants."
he says
"And? there's no shame in cumming in your pants, I love to see you so desp-shit"
you say, trying to find any other word to say, but your brain is short-circuiting, his tongue is moving around one of your breasts, sucking on the nipple, while with one hand, he pays attention to the other one
"I wanna live here."
he says, sucking and biting your nipple
"Mhpf, in the studio?"
you tease him even if you know what he meant
"Mh -he breaks off the contact between his mouth and your breast- between your boobs, I want to live here, they're-fuck, they're like a warm marshmallows."
you laugh
"I'm dead serious, y/n"
he looks at you so seriously that you have to cover your mouth not to laugh. You kiss his lips, making him smile
"You're going to be late, so let me do something for you, yeah?"
you say, shifting position and getting on your knees in front of him
"Oh fuck"
he says, pulling his pants down, revealing his hard dick
"You're going to drive me crazy, you know that?"
he says, caressing your face
"That's the point, Christopher."
you say, kissing one of his naked thighs
"Please, jagiya, please."
he says in a desperate tone. That nickname again, heavy like a rock on your chest, just friends with benefits, correct?
So you do what a good friend would do, you take his boner with your hands, stroking him up and down a couple of times, licking the tip, focusing on that particular sensitive part, making him whimper.
You take all of him in your mouth, breathing through your nose; you look up at him, his head on the headrest, his eyes closed, enjoying every moment, one of his hands in your hair, scratching your scalp gently.
You keep working with your mouth and tongue, adding once again your dominant hand, just because you can't take all of him in your mouth.
"Jagi...fuck."
"Uh, language, please."
you say, taking him out of your mouth without stopping working with your hand.
"How am I supposed not to say bad words when you're on your knees sucking me off?"
he asks, looking down at you
"You're dramatic."
you say, retaking him in your mouth, you know that he's about to cum because he's throbbing in your mouth
"Baby, i'm-i'm about to."
he can't even finish the sentence that a load of fluid goes into your mouth, you swallow it all the way.
You clean the corner of your mouth with your fingers and stay on your knees, looking up at him with a stupid smile on your face.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
He says, pulling his pants up
“I’m not looking at you in any particular way.”
“Yes, you are, come here.”
He says, patting the place next to him
“Thank you”
He says when you sit next to him
“You don’t have to thank me, Channie.”
“I have to, I told you that you have a relaxing effect on me. And I’m talking generally, not when we...do other stuff, you know, even when we do them, but..."
“I get what you’re saying, Channie.”
You giggle
“Aagh, come here.”
He says, placing a hand on your neck and pulling towards him
“No, wait, I’ve just…”
“I don’t care, y/n, just kiss me, please.”
You sigh, and you kiss his lips, it’s a quick kiss, almost as if you did it every day
“You’re going to be late.”
You say, touching his forehead with yours
“I know, but I have to do it, it’s a safe space for me, and stays.”
“I know”
You say, pecking his lips once again
“I’m in my studio, I wait for you there, okay?”
You say, putting your hoodie on
“Mh, okay, thank you y/n, really.”
He says, kissing your cheek
“That’s what a good friend would do.”
You smile at him
“Yeah, good friend.”
He echos you
“Bye, bed bug.”
He says when you unlock the door
“Bye, Channie -you giggle at the nickname- don’t forget to put your hoodie on.”
“I won’t, thank you.”
He says, smiling, dimples on full display
Good friends, right?
A friend that has marked you all over your body
A friend you would go to live with just to have breakfast ready every morning
A friend that makes you feel butterflies,
A friend that fucks you till your brain short-circuit
A friend who makes you fall asleep while singing and cuddling
Maybe he’s more than “A friend”
A/N: me after writing this 🏃🏻‍♀️💨
Tag list: @paboswriting (because of the mention of biker Chan, we have an obsession about him)
693 notes · View notes
lizslibrary · 2 months
Text
Mirror
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Summary: Reader is Bucky's next-door neighbor when they hear him having a nightmare. Reader helps him see his reflection in the mirror and reminds him that his scars are beautiful because they are proof that he survived.
A/N: Thank you guys so much for the support on my last story, It gave me the courage to write a second one. The last fic I wrote was done in the first person so I thought I would try my hand in second person to see how it goes. Please let me know of any compliments or criticism that you have, it would really help a lot! 🤍
Warnings: Nightmare, PTSD, Bucky being insecure, self-deprivation (Bucky,) Crying, hurt/comfort.
Word count: 1339.
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You awoke to the sound of screaming from across the hall, it didn't take long to figure out Bucky was having another nightmare. You prop yourself up on one elbow, rubbing your eyes as you adjust to being awake. Forcing yourself out of your bed, you open your door and step into the dimly lit hallway of your apartment building. You gently raise your fist and knock on Bucky's apartment door, hoping he'll answer.
Not long after, the door creaks open and Bucky stands in the doorway looking disheveled and tired. He was wearing loose sweatpants, and his skin was gleaming with sweat. his eyes reddened and brimmed with tears yet to be spilled. You stare at him for a moment noticing how his long hair is sticking to the sides of his face, and how there were dark smudges under each eye.
"Bucky?" You say softly, almost as if he was a bomb waiting to detonate. "Can I come in?"
Bucky nods quietly, holding the door open a little wider. I look around noticing how messy his apartment is. Pillows and blankets were on the ground, and his boots were on two separate sides of the room, one leaning against the TV stand, while the other was in the corner. The only furniture in the room was a small, grey couch and a little coffee table that sat between the TV and the sofa.
Bucky stared at you silently, his eyes were dark. "I'm sorry I woke you." He said, his voice low and shaky.
You shook your head "Don't worry about it Bucky, it wasn't your fault." You say gently, sitting down on his couch and gesturing for him to sit next to you. "Are you okay?"
Bucky shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair "No" He says quietly, closing his eyes. "They won't stop, every time I try to sleep these nightmares keep coming back."
Your heart began to ache at the thought of Bucky suffering through these awful nightmares, night after night. You recall all the times when he would wake you up screaming, telling you how he had just dreamt about Hyrda, about how these visions of death and violence constantly haunt him.
"You don't deserve this Bucky." You say, observing the way he covered himself up with a blanket.
Bucky turned to face you "I'm a monster..." he said lowly. He opened his mouth but no words came out. Bucky closed his eyes tightly, and tears fell freely from his cheeks.
"No Bucky, you're not." You say, gently placing your hand over his shaking one. "Bucky, you've done nothing wrong, none of this is your fault."
He looked away from you, eyes falling to the floor "I know, but I still did it."
You sigh "Buck, listen to me." You say, keeping your voice gentle. "You were being brainwashed and manipulated. They made you do horrible things that you had no control over."
Bucky remained silent, letting out a deep breath before looking at you. "They ruined me Y/n, my body is filled with ugly scars." He said pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. "When I go out in public little people, children even, are scared of my arm...It just reminds me of my past and what I've done." He says softly "Hydra ruined me."
You place your hand on his blanket-covered back slowly making circles with my fingernails. "Bucky, you are the kindest most handsome man I've ever met, your past does not define your present." You say, "You have gone out of your way to protect and take care of me even before we became close."
His cheeks tinted pink "Y/n...thank you." He whispered, taking a deep breath "But-"
You stop him "No buts Bucky." You say firmly "Can I show you the Bucky that I see?" You take his hand, pulling the blanket off his back, and leading him gently into the bathroom turning him so that he can see his reflection in the mirror.
"What do you see when you look at yourself?" You ask, keeping your voice soft.
Turning his head away from the mirror, Bucky swallowed hard. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he took a deep breath. "Scars..." He mumbled, unable to meet your gaze.
You nod, rubbing his back "Anything else?"
Bucky peers back to the mirror, his eyes landing on the scar tissue that connects his shoulder to his vibranium arm, he clenches his jaw and grips the sink tightly.
Your gaze is soft as you watch Bucky look at himself, with sorrow and pain. He doesn't reply as he turns away from the mirror, dropping his head in shame.
"Listen to me bucky..." You say, standing next to him in the mirror "Your scars are beautiful."
He glances up at you "How could they possibly be?" He asks, fighting back the tears that welled in his eyes.
You smile warmly "Because you fought your way out of hell, you persevered through torture and you lived; they are a reminder that you survived." You tell him, your eyes never leaving his. "You are the strongest, most beautiful man I have ever met." You say, turning to face him.
Bucky wipes his eyes quickly, inhaling sharply. He stares at you a moment before letting out a deep breath "Thank you..." He whispers, averting his eyes once more.
You squeeze his hand lightly "You don't have to thank me." You say softly. "You deserved to hear it."
Bucky stares down at you, his glossy eyes filled with gratitude, before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a tight hug. You wrap your arms around him in return, feeling the tension seep from his body. He sniffles "I don't deserve you doll." He whispers, bringing his forehead to rest against your shoulder.
"No, you deserve more."
You weren't sure why, but you felt like you needed to be persistent in reminding him that he was worthy of love and affection, regardless of what happened in his past.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me." He breathes, bringing his hand up to your head and running his fingers through your hair.
With a contented sigh, you let your fingers glide over Bucky's skin, tracing his muscles and spine. He shudders under your touch, tightening his grip around your waist. He leans into you, his forehead resting on yours.
"It feels good to hold you." He murmurs, pushing his nose against your cheek.
You smile against his chest "That's sweet Bucky, feels good to hold you too" You murmur.
Bucky lets out a soft chuckle, a light tickle brushing against your ear. You reach up, running your hand through his silky hair, gently combing it out of his eyes. You tilt his head up so that his eyes meet your own.
"Are you ready to go back to bed?" You say, staring into his eyes. You could tell that he was tired, his pale blue eyes looking dull and heavy.
He nods slowly, resting his chin against your shoulder before pulling away and walking into his room "Yeah." He mutters.
You turn around, walking back into the bedroom. As you shut the door behind you, you hear Bucky sigh as he climbs onto his bed. You walk over to the bed and sit down, facing Bucky.
He closes his eyes and lets out a long exhale "Thanks for talking to me sweetheart...You didn't have to stay up this long." He says, his voice cracking slightly.
You run your fingers through his hair "Don't worry about it Bucky, I wanted to." You say, leaning forward and kissing his forehead "Goodnight."
Bucky stares at you, looking at you as if he is trying to memorize every feature.
"Y/n?" He asks barely audible.
"Yeah?"
"Can you stay here tonight?" He says, his voice hoarse.
A small smile appears as you walk to the other side of the bed and gently crawl under the covers. immediately, Warmth envelops you as you settle into the blankets. You take a deep breath, feeling the heat from Bucky's body beneath the blankets. You lean forward, bringing your lips to his temple.
"Goodnight Buck." You murmur.
"Sweet dreams, sweetheart," he whispers softly, drawing you close to his chest as he drifts into the first peaceful sleep he has had in years.
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d0youc0py · 4 months
Note
Hi! I just wanted to see if I could put in a request maybe? I love your writing and it would make my day if you wrote something about the 141 + Konig having an arguement with the reader and they yell or make a sudden move causing her to like flinch away.
If not that's totally okay too, have a lovely day!
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“I’m so tired of arguing with you John.” Your words came out whimper-like and you hated how weak it made you sound. Yet fighting with John was exhausting. Sometimes when the two of you argued it felt like it was just another form of training for him.
He instantly softened. Not that you had the wits to notice. A fat tear rolled down your cheek and John’s hand instinctively raced forward to wipe it away. But from your point of view it looked like he was coming in for a slap. Your head flew back, colliding with the kitchen cabinet. You hissed, your hands coming up to apply pressure to the sting.
“Shite, Sweetheart.” He growled. His hands found your hips, pulling you towards him. “I would never.” He reminded. His hand found its way to yours and held you gently.
“I’m sorry.” You muttered, cheeks flushed. You knew John would never lay a hand on you and you hoped he didn’t take your reaction too personal.
“Don’t apologize, Honey.” He muttered back, his lips pressed against the crown of your head.
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His body stilled. In the midst of an argument- one that he can’t even remember why it started- he reached up to rub his face, the action causing you to flinch. He doesn’t even think it counts as a flinch, because you were basically bracing for impact.
“That what you think of me?” He started. Your heart dropped in your stomach at his words, thinking he was angry, but the look on his face was the opposite. His eyes were nervous. It seemed like he was waiting for you to tell him what you truly thought of him. You quickly shook your head.
“No, Si.” You assured quickly. “I just wasn’t expecting it and you moved so fast.” You tried to explain.
“I know I can be an arse sometimes but I would never hit you. Please tell me you know that.” His eyes bore into yours and you nodded your head.
“I do, Si.” You agreed. His hand reached forward slowly and you took the invitation wrapping your arms around his middle.
“Sorry for being an arse by the way.”
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*maybe toxic behavior?*
Most of the time Johnny was an extrovert by choice. He could be the life of the party, charming and personable when he wanted to be, but he also needed his time to recharge. He’d just gotten back from a mission and wanted nothing more than to curl up with you and watch some TV show that took no brain power to understand. Instead he came home to you dressed up to the nines, heading out the door.
“Where are you off to?” He questioned, plopping his duffle bag by the door. You raced forward pressing quick kisses against his face.
“Just a little get together. Want to come?” You hummed against him.
“Didn’t I tell you I was coming back today?” He asked. You hummed in agreement, stopping your attack of affection when none of it was reciprocated.
“Yeah, you did. Why?” You questioned.
“I’ve been gone for three weeks and you’re just heading out the door.” He responded, his words nearly coming out like a snarl. This began the argument and before you knew it the two of you were screaming at each other in the entryway.
Johnny talked with his hands and that became dangerous when he was upset. His hand flung up, his fingers barely missing your cheek. All was silent. Your eyes fled with tears wondering how the man you loved could be so careless. His bright eyes were wide and were taking in every move or emotion you felt.
“I wasn’t going to”- He began.
“Sure seemed like you were going to.” You said back. He shook his head almost violently.
“Never.” He growled. “I would never hurt you.”
“Physically.” You emphasized. He shut his eyes tightly- all the hurtful things he said during the argument coming back to him.
He had a lot of making up to do.
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*it’s so hard writing angst for Kyle b/c I feel like he is just the sweetest partner everrrrr*
He came home in a mood. The weight of the world on his shoulders. He brushed past you, giving you a quick peck on the forehead before retreating to the patio for a quick smoke. He rarely smoked and the sight had you worried, but you gave him peace.
You were finishing up your laundry, not noticing as he came home behind you. When his hands touched you, you jumped nearly a foot in the air, your head colliding with the dryer.
“Fucking hell, baby.” He huffed from behind you. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized, holding your head right where you hit it.
“I didn’t even hear you.” You gasped.
“Well I’ve had training.” He smirked. “Let’s get you an ice pack, yeah? Don’t want you walking around town with a bump on your head.”
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He was venting to you, to engrossed in his own feelings that he didn’t notice the drastic change in his demeanor. You weren’t use to the side of him- and he had made sure to keep it hidden from you. The last thing he ever wanted was to frighten you. It wasn’t until his arm flung out (not towards you) and you jumped that he’d noticed what was happening.
“Scheisse.” He muttered to himself.
“I’m sorry.” You apologized quickly. “I don’t know why I did that.” You rambled. His worried eyes watched you.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized. His hands reached out to grab yours and you pushed yourself closer to him.
“You didn’t really scare me, Konnie.” You opened and closed your mouth before continuing. “I’ve just never seen you so worked up before. You just surprised me is all.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bending down so his head could rest on yours.
“Still. There are ways for me to vent without getting all worked up, ja?”
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primofate · 2 years
Text
You faint during an argument/disagreement [Genshin Impact] (Part 1)
Summary: You’ve been feeling under the weather for the whole day, you just didn’t bother to tell him nor anyone, thinking that the headache would go away. He doesn’t notice at all due to him getting caught up with some work, or in general just having a bad day himself. 
Notes and credits: Wholly inspired by minejiro.tumblr.com (They’re inactive now, according to the blog, but they wrote a Haikyuu one a while ago and I loved their rendition of it so much that I just had to bring it over to Genshin. I asked them for permission a while ago and they agreed :D)
Characters: Tartaglia, Diluc, Zhongli, gn!reader
Warnings: might have some harsh words/arguments, fainting spells, feeling unwell, panic attacks/hyperventilating maybe, not proofread, you and the genshin character live together, I seriously had trouble writing about what you might argue about with Diluc and Zhongli because these two are usually calm and collected. Not really a disagreement on Zhongli’s part, maybe just a misunderstanding. zhongli changes your clothes but its completely innocent.
Tartaglia
Could have a short-temper, depending on how his day has gone.
He adores you and thinks you’re his whole world but he does get some stressors once in a while, mainly because he works in the Fatui
Could easily overlook things when he has a lot of things on his mind
He comes home today tired and rather annoyed. Something about Dottore not taking his suggestions seriously, and Pierro never taking his side. It must be one of those Harbinger meetings again. He always seemed to be in a sour mood after one.
He hangs his coat on the hanger by the door, kicking his boots off and wanting nothing more than a hot bath, a quiet dinner and spending some rest and relaxation with you. “Y/N?” he calls through the house and you, half awake on your shared bed, stir a little, pushing yourself up with difficulty.
It feels so hot, despite the cold country you were in. “Tartaglia, welcome home. I’m just in the room,” you call out, stilling to hear his response. Tartaglia thought it was a little weird, cause you would usually come up to greet him when he arrived, but he just guessed that you were busy with something in the room. 
“Alright! I’m taking a bath first, love,” he shouts. “Have you eaten?” He asks and you answer after a short pause, mostly because you found it difficult to even concentrate on keeping upright, and you wondered if you could handle preparing dinner today.
“I haven’t, I’ll get it ready when you finish,” Still, maybe you just needed to walk around a little and get some fresh air. So, as he took his time in the bathroom you struggled to make dinner, in the end you only made enough for him, seeing as you didn’t have an appetite today. 
“Here you go,” You smile at him as he dries his hair, putting down the meal in front of him. If he wasn’t busy, he actually cooks a lot for you too, it just so happened that it was your turn today. 
He blinks when he sees that there’s only one set of food just enough for him. He narrows his eyes, a little disappointed that you didn’t seem to be planning on eating with him. He was looking forward to spending a bit of time with you.
“You’re not eating?” He asks and you shake your head.
“No, I don’t feel like it,” you simply reply and you hear him scoff a little. 
“Don’t feel like it? Well, that’s okay. Are you at least going to sit and talk with me while I eat?” He looked as if he wanted to vent about something, but your head was really bothering you now.
“...Actually I was just planning on going to bed early today...” You breathe out, your eyes dart up to the ceiling, it looks to be swaying a little. 
“...You know, I wonder why you’re so tired. You had a day off today,” Tartaglia’s voice borders on mocking, as if accusing you of doing nothing all day and yet going to bed earlier than him who was at work till late.
“I’m not feeling well Tartaglia, that’s all,” You quip back with a sigh and move away to get yourself a glass of water. The clink of cutlery against the plate signals to you that he started eating, but not before he mutters a resentful “Suit yourself...” 
You ignore him, having no energy at all to argue and bring back the glass of water with you to the room. You left the bedroom door open, just to get a bit of air circulation, but you stop in your tracks when the walls start to turn into squiggles, your perception of reality starts to distort and you try your best to tell yourself the bed is just there, just a few steps away. 
A sharp pain attacks your temples and you drop the glass, it shattering on the floor just before you yourself come toppling down on your side, blacked out. 
Tartaglia freezes at the sound, he’s midway to taking a bite of the stabbed steak on his fork but he retracts it to call out to you again. “Y/N?” You’ve disappeared into the room already and he can’t see what’s going on, but the sound had alarmed him. He waits a few seconds, before he drops his cutlery and pushes his chair back to stand and check on you.
“Y/N?” He repeats, walking at a leisurely pace over to the room. His mouth falls open at the sight of shattered glass but his throat closes up at your unconscious form. “Y/N?!” He hurries next to you and cradles your upper body in his arms, patting your cheek to get some sort of response from you. “Y/N, hey,” he gently tries to coax you into waking up, but realizes that it’s not working.
Now he’s conscious of the way your face flushes pink, and now it dawns on him that you really weren’t feeling well, your forehead was burning up. He picks you up and sets you down on the bed, calling for a doctor immediately. 
“Are they okay?” Tartaglia asks once the doctor was done checking up on you. The doctor shrugs. “Not to worry, it’s just a simple fever. They’ll be fine with some bed rest,” The relief that spreads through his being is unreal. For a moment he thought it was something serious, you’d never fainted before, and he was also just guilty that he didn’t spot it out sooner. 
When you woke up he was still awake and sitting on a chair next to you, there’s a damp cloth on your forehead and it takes you a moment to piece together what happened. You sighed and closed your eyes again, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pass out, it was just--” and you started to feel nauseous again. 
Tartaglia gave you a stern look. “Don’t apologize for that, stop thinking too much and rest,” You obeyed as he continues. “You could’ve told me earlier that you were feeling unwell,” he rants. 
“I DID tell you I was feeling unwell, you were just being snappy today,” you state as a matter of factly. That makes him open his mouth then close it again, defeated by your statement. 
“...I know, I’m sorry... That wasn’t...my best moment,” he admits and has a look of regret on his face. You sigh and shake your head a little, used to his tantrums from time to time. He asks you once again, now willing to make up for it and make amends. “Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need anything? You haven’t eaten so I made some food in case you were hungry,” 
And there’s the doting Tartaglia that you knew. The one that always listened to your beck and call, he’s like putty in your hands, just melts at the sight of you. “I’m alright honey, I just need some sleep. Come join me? You must be tired as well,” 
He sighs again, unsatisfied with how little he has done but relents and leans forward to land a kiss on your forehead. “Alright, but wake me up if you feel worse, got it?”
Diluc
Has deep-set issues, particularly when it came to family. 
You’ve always tried to repair his relationship with Kaeya but soon noticed that it probably wasn’t your business, despite Diluc respecting you a lot and putting your opinions in high regard.
He was just a little sensitive when it came to topics like that.
“It was just a suggestion ‘Luc. You don’t have to think too much about it,” Said suggestion was you wanting to spend your birthday with your beloved partner, but also the Knights of Favonius. However, you weren’t really one for eating out or fancy dinners, so you suggested that your birthday lunch could be done in the mansion, essentially suggesting that you wanted to invite them to Diluc’s house. 
Maybe you imposed too much, but Diluc’s face fell the moment that suggestion came out into the open. “You say not to think too much about it but this is something that YOU want, it’s your birthday wish, how can I say no?” he counters and you can feel a petty argument coming up.
Your hand absentmindedly massages your forehead as you sit at the long table, eyes closed and focusing on the soothing sensation. “I have other birthday wishes Diluc, and I’m flexible, we don’t have to do something that you don’t want,”
“And like I said, this is the FIRST suggestion you made, which means that you must like this idea the most,” He crosses his arms over his chest, gaze lingering over you, clearly disappointed. 
“I didn’t mean for it to come off like that, I promise we don’t have to do this. It’s selfish of me to assume that I can use your house for anything I want anyway,” You attempt to give him a small smile, but he looks to be past being nice.
“I wish you had thought about that before saying anything,” He continues, gaze stern. “Instead of spilling it out and making me feel as if I have no choice in the matter,”
“It.was.a.suggestion.” You say in between grit teeth. This wasn’t helping the intense headache you were having right now.
“Clearly you haven’t been listening at all,” Your eyes snap up to look at Diluc, he had never taken that tone towards you before. He sounded extremely displeased. “If you MADE the suggestion, then it means that it’s something that you WANT. Is this something that’s not clear to you?”
You wince at the tone he takes, somehow a part of you starts to unravel, as if you feel like you don’t know this person in front of you. “Diluc, that’s not--”
“And for someone like me, who only wants the best for you, I have to follow every wish that you desire,” there’s a sarcastic tone to his voice, like the tone he takes towards Kaeya and it somehow bruises you so well. 
He starts to look as if he hates you, or was that your imagination? His mouth keeps moving, but none of the words register in your mind. You can’t grasp the fact that Diluc is angry at you. Your usually sweet and subtle Diluc is gone. It suddenly feels like the ground under you is falling apart. You stand up all of a sudden and feel your breath waver.
Diluc cuts his speech off, watching as you anchor yourself to the table with both arms. Your breathing is deep and your hands are trembling. “...Y/N?” You shake your head, unable to answer him because all you can feel is the sense of doom, as if the world was ending. Your peaceful world with Diluc shattered all because of a selfish request you made. 
“Y/N,” Diluc stands when he finally realizes somethings wrong, you’re sweating and you’re breathing so heavily, as if you couldn’t catch your breath. He takes you into his arms hoping that it was some form of comfort. “Y/N, deep breaths, you’re fine, love,” 
But you go limp in his arms and it takes him a huge amount of self control not to panic himself. He races up the stairs to put you on the bed, opening the windows to give you some air and asking one of the passing by maids to call a doctor. 
Sure enough as Diluc describes what happened the doctor confirms that you were probably overwhelmed and panicked, in addition to running a small fever. He feels like trash after that, and almost wants to stab himself for engaging in such petty squabble with you. 
When you wake up you hardly remember what happened, until you see Diluc’s concerned face looking at you and you can’t help but wince at the expression you remember on him. You almost can’t bring yourself to look at him and instinctively turn your face away. 
That breaks his heart into pieces. “Y/N, I...” he sits at the edge of the bed next to you, carefully placing a hand on your shoulder. “Is it ok if you look at me, love?” He gently requests and you blink, unsure of why you were so deterred by him. 
“I don’t mean to look away, it’s just...I don’t want you to hate me,” because that’s the look you remember on his face, like he despised you. 
You hear his intake of breath. “Y/N I can never hate you,” he explains. “I...I apologize, I should have dropped the matter and listened to you but I was...I only wanted to have your wishes come true, but I didn’t know how to do that with your request, so I...” he paused a little, and realized that the more he talked the more it sounded stupid. He opts to change his direction. “...I won’t ask for your forgiveness but...please, let me take care of you,” 
Diluc had always been sincere with his feelings towards you, and you knew that was hard for him. In some senses you understood where he was coming from, and you also played a part in the little disagreement. You sigh and your eyes easily glide towards him. “...It’s alright ‘Luc, let’s not dwell on it anymore, okay? We can talk about it tomorrow...I’m a little tired right now,”
It seems as if he breathes a sigh of relief at your nickname for him, that brought a little bit of normalcy back into the situation. “Of course,” he agrees and brushes your forehead with his hand. “You’re still running a fever, I’ll wake you up when it’s time to take your medications,” 
“You’re not sleeping with me?” You ask and he takes a moment to answer.
“...Not yet, I...I’m not all that tired yet,” 
In reality, as you slept peacefully on your shared bed he tenderly looks at you and drowns in his regret, unable to believe that he had pushed you over the edge and thinking over and over again that he doesn’t deserve you in his life, but he will definitely fight to be better and worthy of you.
Zhongli
Rarely gets angry and you rarely have arguments or disagreements with him because he’s always wiling to communicate or see other people’s point of view.
It doesn’t mean that he never gets displeased though, he’s just good at hiding it or concealing it with better sounding words.
Zhongli sometimes likes to make trades with the people of Liyue, mostly for valuable ore, artifacts or keepsakes. When he does this he usually has you to tag along (mostly because he can’t keep track of how much mora he has and relies on you to guide him through that part)
“Ready, darling?” Zhongli asks, his hand placing itself on the small of your back. You’re jolted to attention and you look up at him with a smile. 
“Mmhmm, I have our balances and notes ready,” It was like a small hobby of yours and his, collecting treasures and valuable artifacts. It was really mostly his thing, you just loved watching him converse with others and bargain his way through, even though he wasn’t good at it. That’s what you were there for. 
Today, however, you’re a little out of it because of a dull pain on the whole front part of your head. It somewhat feels as if you’d been punched in the nose, and the pain was resonating upwards to your forehead. It was a strange feeling, but you pushed through it and thought that it wasn’t a big deal. 
Stepping out of your home you instantly realized that this was not going to be a good day. The sun was high in the sky and it was sweltering hot, you were already sweating 5 minutes into walking. Luckily, the man you were trading with opted to meet at a nearby teahouse so you arrived and sat down. The only unfortunate thing was that the seating was outdoors, and so you couldn’t completely escape the heat.
The man greeted the two of you, and invited you to sit. The talks started at once, with Zhongli first relaying a wonderful story about the artifact the man possessed. Frankly you were hardly listening, all you could focus on was how uncomfortable the sweat running down your neck was, for a moment you thought to excuse yourself, but that was strange since you just arrived. 
You toughed it out, and tried to keep up with the conversation, opening the notebook on the table as the servers continued to pour tea. 
“100,000 mora is not a bad price,” You heard Zhongli state, and that was usually your cue to follow up on your approval or disapproval, but this time, it took you longer than usual to think. 
“Ah, um...” You looked at the notes in front of you, you barely wrote anything and the letters were starting to look a little blurred. “A 100,000 mora is fine indeed, but since it’s a little aged and older now, it wouldn’t be impossible to lower the price down to 80,000, right, good sir?” You forced a smile.
Zhongli has a good eye, and observes that you’re rather out of your element today, though he’s unsure what the problem was, so he continues the talk further. 
Somewhere down the conversation the two of them look at you, and you blink back at them. There are questioning gazes on their faces and you realize that they had asked you a question. 
“Oh...I...apologize, could you repeat that? I must have missed the question,” The man chuckles and talks, but you could only see his mouth moving and there was no sound except the ringing in your ears. The heat was getting to you.
“...Y/N...Y/N,” It was Zhongli’s voice that snaps you out of your stupor, he’s looking at you with concealed worry, but you also see a hint of disappointment there. “...Perhaps it’d be better if you went home first, I’ll put you up to speed on my and the good sir’s conversation later on,” It sounded as if he was trying to get rid of you, but he was merely worried about your lack of concentration today.
“...Yeah, alright,” You agree with a weak smile and bow towards the two of them, gathering your notes and balances when Zhongli stops you. “Leave those, I’ll handle them,” he says it rather curtly, but you nod your head and turn to leave, feeling a little useless. 
You took two steps and feel the world spinning around you, bright spots appear in your eyes and it was hard to see anything at all. You force yourself to move forward, not wanting to pass out in the middle of a teahouse, but your fears came true when you trip over your feet and come tumbling down the cobbled pavement of Liyue. It was just so incredibly hot, and your head was killing you with pulses of pain and discomfort. 
Zhongli rises to his feet in a hurry, striding towards you and picking you up in his arms easily, careful not to jostle you. Your eyes are shut tight, grimace on your face and it was clear that you were in pain. “Beloved, tell me what’s wrong,” there’s a sense of urgency in his voice, and people around you were staring, though you weren’t aware of it. 
You whimper in response, the heat is still beating down on you and the sun’s rays were not helping. “It’s...I can’t breathe properly, it’s...It’s too hot,” you writhe in his hold, just wanting some form of breeze but it was also a windless day today. 
Zhongli moves fast, he grabs the notes you left, excuses himself from the good sir and makes it home in a minute. He lays you down on the bed and grabs water and a newspaper from the living room. He lays the glass on the bedside tale and starts fanning you with the folded newspaper, watching your flushed, uncomfortable expression. 
He feels disappointed only at himself for not being mindful enough of your condition, sometimes he forgets how fragile humans really are. “Drink some water, please,” he coaxes you, knowing that it would help your overheated system. He’d wanted to get you out of your current clothes as well, and have you change into looser and cooler ones. 
“Y/N I’m going to help you out of your clothes and into new ones, would that be alright?” He’s been intimate with you a thousand times, so this was not something he was unfamiliar with. Only this time he was far too worried instead of feeling intimate.
When that was done, you had easily fallen asleep and he had called for a doctor, just to make sure everything was fine. Heat exhaustion was the answer that he got, and he was given a few home remedies and tips as well as medication to help regulate your temperature a little better. 
He spent the whole time silently scolding himself at the fact he missed the tell tale signs. You being distracted during the whole trade was already a sign and yet he thought you were just tired. He sighed and closed his eyes as he sat on a chair next to the bed, feeling that he had really failed in taking care of you today. 
“’Li?” Your voice snaps his eyes open and causes him to lean forward towards you. 
“Is there something you need, darling?” he asks, the rare expression of worry etched on his face. You shake your head, already feeling better now that you were indoors. 
“...Sorry we couldn’t go through with the--”
“Y/N, please don’t apologize for that,” his stern voice stops you, but his gaze softens and he takes your hand in his, cradling it as if it was porcelain. “There isn’t anything that’s more important to me than your health, do you understand?” he asks, but doesn’t wait for you to answer. “However small or slight it is, please let me know next time if you feel unwell or uncomfortable. You have to promise me this...”
You can’t help but smile at how serious he sounds, but you completely understood. “Okay, ‘Li, I promise to let you know,”
He sighs, and presses his lips onto your knuckles. “Thank you,”
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bianquitasworld · 8 months
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could you do one where dave and reader are watching movies and being all cuddly pretty please?
Rest and Shakespeare
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Parings: Dave Lizewski x Reader
A/N: I need this man, sorry for not writing as much I’ve been caught up with studies and work. Sorry I kinda forgot to add the movie part I was so tired when I wrote this. 😥
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The day had been a relentless struggle, from the demanding classes at school to the never-ending tasks at work. A grueling exam had left my mind in tatters, the pounding headache and the stress of deadlines had drained every ounce of energy from me. But all I could think about as I made my way towards Dave’s house was the comforting warmth waiting for me in Dave’s arms, being in his presence alone always helped melt all my worries away.
The cold air made a shiver run down my spine, I hug myself to find warmth. I couldn’t help but walk faster as I made my way towards his home, minutes away from being in Dave’s arms and in the comfort of his bedroom while he read some random comic to me that I knew nothing about, the way his eyes would light up when he got excited flipping through the colorful pages, I smile at the thought alone, the way he always held me as I slept, I felt the stress leaving my body already just picturing it.
I sighed in relief as I reached Dave’s home. I barely knocked, I saw the white curtains from his room move around as if someone was just standing there moments ago. I heard hurried footsteps rushing down the stairs. The door was pulled open immediately. Dave greeted me with a wide smile, his cheeks flushed with excitement. His glasses sat slightly askew on the tip of his nose, and he pushed them up with his index finger, his eyes sparkling with warmth and affection.
His clears his throat before speaking and leans against the front door.
“S-Sorry I made you wait for so long, I was doing homework?” His statement sounded more like a question as if he couldn’t think of anything to say. I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Your homework consists of you watching me through your window?” I tease him, you notice his cheeks turning bright red. I couldn’t decide if it was from the cold air being let in to his house due to the open door or the embarrassment. I shiver from the cold air. “it’s freezing-“ I could hardly finish my sentence before he’s reaching for my hand, pulling me into his home, and shutting his door. I slip off my winter boots.
“My dad isn’t home, we can watch a movie-or or whatever-psh I mean movies are lame-unless you want to watch one then we can-“ Dave’s nervous rambling is a little funny, even if we’ve been together for a while he’s still always nervous and second guessing every word that comes out of his mouth. Especially when he’s around ‘the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes upon’.
“Dave we can do whatever you want as long as I get to spend time with you i’m happy.” I say softly, tiredness kicking in. truthfully, I just wanted to curl into a cave and hibernate till the next year.
A blush returns to his face and his eyes light up in excitement. “We can go read some-some comics if you’re cool with that because if you aren’t that’s like totally cool.” I hear Dave gulp as he stares at me, his eyes falling upon me.
“Sure, that’s ‘like totally cool’ with me Dave” I say mocking him, if it’s possible his face becomes two shades redder. “Okay-okay no need to get rude” He rolls his eyes. I hurriedly make my way upstairs with Dave’s heavy footsteps following behind, after entering his room I take off the thick winter coat I had on, I can’t help but jump on his bed and crawl under his sheets making a mess of his bed, no care in the world for manners.
Dave plops down beside me with a comic in his hand, he sits up and pulls me against his chest as I wrap my arms around him and throw my leg over his torso.
“You tired baby?” Dave’s voice is soft and caring as he notices the lack of noise coming from his partner. “Exhausted, too many responsibilities and deadlines..” a sigh follows, I feel Dave’s hand slowly caress my head soothingly, he puts his comic on his night stand and lays down fully, allowing himself to be the little spoon. “You’re too pretty to be stressed, allow me to help you relax my princess.” Dave says in a British accent “You’re such a nerd babe, i’m taking those comics and weird movies away from you.”
All that can he heard is an overly dramatic gasp, what a drama queen. “Thou shall not-MHm” I shh him by placing my hand over his mouth. “shh..sleep.”
Dave gives in and smiles against my hand, he slowly pushes it down and mutters “fine, fine, whatever..I was just trying to romance you.”
“Romance me? By talking like Shakespeare?”
“Some people find it charming-“
“Name one person-“
“Okay you know what go to sleep, shhh-“
“No, who finds that cha-”
“Shhhhh you’ve fallen into a deep sleep shhh-“
“Dave I swear-“
“Oh can’t hear you, you’re not talking because you’re in a deep deep slumber-“
“Slumber?? Who even says that?”
“I thought you were tired!?”
“I am!”
“then stop talking”
“You keep talking to me! You know what good night.”
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enh4s · 5 months
Note
u want some ideas? girl i got u, but apologise early if some of my ideas are something you already wrote
-heeseung coming home and wants nothing but him in your pussy only to find out you riding a dildo while waiting for him. so he end up fucking you with him and the dildo
-jay who had an online meeting at home so u tease him by walking only wearing nothing but his shirt well it ends up him edging you the whole night
-jake your subby baby who tries to dom, you thought he's cant do it but oh boy he proof you wrong
-sunghoon teasing you in public by using vibrator in public
im sorry if its too much
I literally want to write all of them🫠
Starting with Heeseung one!!
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"Impatience looks sexy on you"
pairing: bf! heeseung, horny af y/n
genre: pure smut without plot?
warnings: unprotected sex, anal, toy, dirty talk, breeding
author's note: I hope you'll enjoy this, short because I felt like making it short but spicyyyy (I want heeseung so bad)
Heeseung came home from work, tired and hungry. He had a long day of meetings and now he just wanted to relax in his bed with his girlfriend. He walked into the house, taking off his shoes at the door as he always did. He heard noises coming from the bedroom, and he smiled to himself.
Heeseung walked into the bedroom, his eyes widening in surprise at what he saw. You were lying on the bed, your legs spread wide and a dildo buried deep inside your pussy.
You were moaning and whimpering, your fingers working furiously at your clit. Heeseung's cock twitched in his pants as he watched his girl pleasure herself. He walked over to the bed and knelt down next to you, reaching out to touch your thigh.
"What are you doing?" you asked, your voice breathless.
"I'm going to help you cum," he said, his voice low and husky. He leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking hard on it as he reached between your legs to play with the dildo inside you. You moaned and arched your back, pushing your breast further into his mouth. He sucked harder, nipping at the sensitive skin with his teeth.
"Oh god," you moaned, your hips bucking against his hand as he worked the dildo in and out of your drenched cunt.
He could feel you're getting closer and closer to orgasm, and he felt the urge to make sure you came before he fucked you properly.
He pulled his mouth away from your nipple and moved down to your pussy, licking and sucking at your clit as he continued to play with the dildo. You were a moaning mess now, your body writhing beneath him as you approached the edge of orgasm.
He could feel your muscles tighten around the dildo, and he knew that you were close. He increased the speed of his movements, determined to bring you over the edge.
"Oh fuck!" you screamed, your body convulsing as you came hard. Heeseung kept licking and sucking at your clit, making sure that you got every last drop of pleasure from your orgasm. When you finally came down from her high, he stood up and stripped off his clothes, revealing his hard cock. It was twitching, it was all red and both of you knew that he craved you so bad.
"You're not done yet," he said, his voice low and husky. He grabbed you by the hips and flipped you over onto all fours, positioning himself behind you.
You gasped as he entered you, his cock filling your cunt completely. He gripped your hips tightly, thrusting into you with a primal force.
"Fuck, you're so tight," he groaned, his voice rough with desire. He continued to pound into you, his balls slapping against your clit as he filled you up over and over again.
You moaned and cried out, your body rocking back and forth as he drove himself deeper and deeper into you.
“You couldn't wait for your man to fuck you properly, huh? You were so impatient to play with your little toy? Maybe we should use it again on you since you like it that much? My pretty, little slut" He said, spanking your cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Heeseung. I couldn't help it. I was so horny and needed to cum so bad." You said, your voice trembling with desire.
"Please, Heeseung... Please fuck me harder!" He obliged your request, thrusting into you with a renewed vigor. He took a dildo in his hand, pushing the tip in your asshole.
You screamed in pain, but then you started to enjoy it. He started to fuck you with both his cock and the dildo, and you felt like you were being stretched to your limits. But you loved it, and you begged him to keep going. Heeseung continued to fuck you, his cock sliding in and out of your cunt while the dildo pushed into your ass.
You were screaming and crying out in pleasure, your body shaking with each thrust. Heeseung reached around and began playing with your clit, his fingers moving quickly as he brought you closer and closer to another orgasm.
"Oh god, yes! Yes, please don't stop!" you cried out, your body tensing up as you approached the peak of your second orgasm. Heeseung continued to pound into you, his pace increasing as he felt you're nearing your climax.
He could feel her muscles tightening around his cock. He was so rough with you, his own orgasm building inside him.
"Yes, oh yes! I'm cumming! Oh God Heeseung, it feels so good!” you continued screaming, your body shaking as you came all over his cock.
Heeseung kept thrusting in and out of you, he felt your juices coating his cock.
"So needy for my cock, and mine only, huh? You love it when I'm destroying you like this, my little plaything?" He asked, biting your neck lightly.
"Yes, yes! I love it!" you moaned. Heeseung thrust his cock into you hard and fast, fucking you with all he had left.
"Fuck me harder! Harder!" you begged. Heeseung obliged, pounding your pussy as hard as he could until he couldn't hold back anymore and came inside of you. 
“Fuck, you feel so good clenching around me like this” He was groaning onto your soft skin on your back. 
Heeseung pulled out, rolled off of you and pulled you close to him. He held you in his arms, breathing heavily. “Impatience looks so sexy on you" he said. You smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you," you said softly, resting your head on his chest.
"I love you too," he replied. "So, what's next?" you asked.
Heeseung thought for a moment. "Well, I think we should take a break from sex for a while" he said. You looked at him in surprise. "What? Why?" you asked. Heeseung smiled and kissed your forehead. 
“Well, I have to make sure you still know how to walk” He laughed, before pulling you closer for a kiss.
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3typical3 · 1 year
Text
Tip for non Hispanic ppl writing Spanglish
*I initially wrote this at 1 am so like, keep that in mind as you decipher this lol
*context is key when speaking Spanglish, if your character is in a professional setting they probably won’t speak Spanglish unless it’s to a fellow co worker who also speaks Spanglish. It’s more of a casual way a speaking yk?
Also parents, I avoid Spanglish with my parents unless we’re switching from just speaking Spanish to just speaking English. But that’s depends from family to family.
It’s typically like switching sentences and not dropping in random words.
Example “ es Que fui a la tienda, and they were out of milk”
Example “ te ves cansada, did you sleep last night?”
“La neta” is and extremely common Mexican slang term, typically means, honestly. It can also be used to mean ‘really?’
Honestly example:
“La neta, Im tired”
Or “La neta, estoy cansada. Im going to bed”
In the case it means “really?”:
ex.) “Neta?! They said that?!”
I personally say “ de que” which is basically saying “like”, it’s a filled term, before saying a sentence in either English or Spanish
example “ de que idk it won’t work”
I’m Mexican so I use “ósea” a lot in both languages. Another substitute for words like:
“I mean,” “it'd be,” ”like,” “so,” “that is,” “therefore,” and “or.”
Ex. “ ósea, it looks weird idk”
The famous “ pero like” I personally don’t use a lot but an example of how it’s used in Spanglish is “ pero like, how did it happen?”
Sometimes I Just say “ fuck” but like in my Mexican accent or in a sentence.
“ fuck, perdí mi pulsera”
When I get startled I cuss in both English and Spanish but a Spanglish example would be
*insert random startling noise
“ ala verga! That scared me” or “ hijo de tu puta madre!” when something REALLY scared the shit out of me lol
“Chingada madre, where did that come from”
Rlly insert any cuss word in there and it probably works in Spanglish.
Edit bc I thought of this the morning after
In Mexican Spanish for whatever reason the word “madre” can be used like kinda like a cuss word lol.
Example “ Me vale madres”
Which in English would translate to “I don’t value mothers” but in practice means “I don’t give a shit” or “I don’t care”.
Another Mexican deep cut is the word “pedo” which yes, means fart but we’ve really given the word so many alternative meanings like
“ no es mi pedo “ = “not my problem”
“Estoy bien pedo” = “in rlly drunk”
“Vas a la peda?” = “ are you going to the party/kickback”
There’s more but that’s like the basics lol.
Also another Mexican term is “Aguas”… which literally translates to “waters” but it’s used as a warning.
“Aguas, there’s car coming”
The most famous of Mexican slang has to be “wey” or “guey” depends on how you spell it. But it just means dude. Another term that goes in hand is, “no mames” which basically means “are you kidding me”.
*men for whatever reason hate when the girl they’re dating or are into calls them wey. I think it’s because it’s seen as either improper or as like friend zoning.
“Wey, you’re not gonna believe this”
“No mames wey, look at this”
Another term is “equis” which basically means whatever
“How was the party?”
“Estuvo equis”
Another example
“ now was she dressed?”
“Equis, nothing crazy nothing wow”
*I recommend for Mexican characters looking into the words, or you can just ask me I just don’t wanna make this longer than I already have lol, “mamar”/“mamo”/“mamon”, each you would think is the same but no, no they are not and using one in the wrong context could be catastrophic lol. They are vital words to our vocab
If you’re writing to a character from a specific country, take the time to learn some slang. Sometimes slang crosses over, sometimes even we use slang we learn from each others dialects. Personally I love “joder”/“no jodas” because of the shows from Spain.
But take the time because if you write a Colombian character using most of the slang I’ve used above, you’d get a lot of hate from Colombians lol.
Some bad Spanglish examples would be
“ why didnt you eat your comida?”
Like no. Just no. Inserting a random Spanish word doesn’t equate to Spanglish, at least not in most Latin peoples lives
“ you look cansada” also just no.
*Edit I saw someone post abt this and I felt like adding it in
If you do insert a random Spanish word or vice versa it’s because you forgot the word but that involves a lot of blanking and being annoyed you can’t dig the simplest word out of you sub conscience lol
Example: “ you look, FUCK what’s the word! You know when you’re cansada…TIRED. You look tired”
Another commenter addition I’ll be adding is using “eh” as a filler instead of “um”. I use both but even in English I default to using “eh” or “ehmmmm”
The worst is when you don’t remember the word, only to have it appear in your subconscious hours later lol
Another fav filler word is “deste” which equates to another more Central American term “vaina” but a less refined way of saying it. Essentially they mean “thing” but that thing can be anything. It’s kinda a word when you’re to lazy to say the actual word.
“Pásame el deste”
*passes them x ítem
“No I meant the remote”
*trying not to kill the person because they could’ve said remote the whole time but chose not to
Sometimes we use bad Spanglish on purpose just to be funny
“Que sad” “Que cute”
* i personally love inserting the word cute into my vocab in Spanish just cuz so to each their own
Something I do is like say something in English and immediately say the exact same thing in Spanish. Or like I’ll say an exclamation in one language then end in the other.
“ GO GO GO, VÁMONOS APÚRATE”
“Que asco, gross”
“WOW, que bueno”
Also if you’re writing like couples tbh nicknames in Spanish would be reserved for when you’re speaking in Spanish and same for English, but each couple is different so if you rlly want to leave a nickname in Spanish in go for it. If you rlly want the endearment to be “ mi amor” please remember that after like the first or second time the Spanish speaker would probably just refer to their S/O as “ amor” or switch between the two.
Which brings me to the terms “mami/mamita” and “papi/papito”. Now, while they Can and are by some used in a sexual manner, they can also be used as general terms of endearment. My mom will sometimes call me mamita or my brother papito.
Amongst couples though it’s just kinda said, I saw someone describe it was you just give motherly energy so “mami” is said lol which I get oddly enough.
Once a couple is well established or just comfortable the woman can refer to her S/O as “ viejo” which is old man lol, but it’s like cute. On the flip side idk it’s typically seen as offensive when a man calls his S/O “vieja” but that depends on culture to culture.
Again mami and papi don’t have to be sexual but can be.
Another simple thing you can do is look up nicknames for certain names.
Examples:
“Mike” pronounced “Mique” for Miguel. Some people like to use “Mickey”, that gained popularity from an old Mexican singer lol.
“Ponchó” For Alfonso
“Ale” Can be used for Alejandro/Alexandra/Alejandra
Another thing I thought of is amongst siblings when referring to our parents we will say like
“Haz visto a mi mamá”
Which means have you seen “my mom” even though she’s both our mom… idk it’s weird but a nice little touch you could add to your writing lol
I get rlly annoyed reading bad Spanglish, sometimes it’s just painfully cringe and just obvious a non Spanish speaker wrote it, and I realize it’s bc most of y’all didnt grow up with it so like this is just what is typical Spanglish most Hispanic ppl grow up speaking, obviously not everyone speaks like this but figured I’d give tips from someone who actually speaks English and Spanish and switches between.
If I missed anything feel free to add on or if you disagree add examples
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celtic-crossbow · 5 months
Text
Whumpuary Day 9-10
Prompt: “Stay. Please.”
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Wife!Reader
Warnings: Mentions of injuries
A/N: This one is just a drabble. I was not in a great mood when I wrote it and it probably reflects that. I’m sorry for the subpar work. I hope you still love me.😭
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gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams
“Daryl, she needs you.” Carol implored, blocking the infirmary exit. The archer tried to side-step but the woman just knew him too well and moved with him. 
“Damnit, move!” Daryl all but roared at his best friend. He knew she meant well, he did. But he had to stop them. He couldn’t let them hurt anyone else. He’d failed enough by allowing them to get to you. It was eating him alive. He didn’t know how else to deal with the guilt. It was fueling his rage like gasoline on a fire. 
“You’re not thinking straight!”
“M’thinkin’ jus’ fine! Move, Carol!”
“You can’t go out there like this!”
“I can’ believe this! Ya saw wha’ they did ta ‘er!”
“And that’s why you need to stay!”
“Nah, tha’s why I gotta—”
“Daryl.” Your voice was low, strained. It was weak. But he heard it. Of course he heard it. The archer didn’t give Carol a second glance when he crossed the space to you in two long strides. The silver-haired woman walked behind him with her arms crossed, eyes rolled. She knew all it would take was your specific persuasion to calm Daryl down. She was only hoping to hold him off long enough for you to awaken. 
“Hey, m’right here.” He sat down on the edge of your bed in the infirmary, his hip pressed against yours. You looked so small, fragile in the large bed. Pale and bruised with stitched lacerations and butterfly sutures. “Yer gon’ be okay, ya hear me?”
Your smile was tired and small but it was genuine. “I know I am.” You opened your hand and he took it immediately, pressing his lips to your busted knuckles. “I know I am because you’ll be here to protect me, won’t you?” You blinked slowly and watched his expression fall. 
“Ya know I gotta—”
“You don’t gotta do anything.” He looked like he might start to argue so you began to sit up, wincing with an arm around your middle to brace your broken ribs. Daryl was all don’ do that and stay still but you showed him what it felt like for your pleas to be ignored. Finally upright, you panted while Carol rushed to lift the head of the bed for you. You could breathe easier sitting up. You could also look your husband in the eye properly. “All you need to do is be here with me until a plan can be made.”
Carol smirked, seeing the very moment Daryl’s resolve began to crumble. When he glanced at her, most likely for backup he knew he’d never get, she was quick to turn her head, her smile hidden behind her hand. 
He sighed, deeply but not yet resigned. “I can’ jus’—”
“Stay.” You whispered, bringing the hand that was still holding yours to your cheek. “Stay. Please.” 
And that was that. 
Carol closed the door behind her just as Daryl situated himself on the bed with you so you could settle against his chest. When it came to Daryl Dixon, there was nothing anyone could say or do once he had set his mind on something. Except she now had a secret weapon. 
You. 
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