#i’d prefer him to be like a noir detective basically

[skeetlebeetle]

batman works alone. except for robin. and robin. and robin. and robin. and girl robin. and jim gordon. and harvey dent before he’s two-face. and alfred. actually i think there’s another girl robin now.

[zmgirlfriend]

Zombieman Headcanons...

... That no one wants/asked for. But I’mma drop them anyway because Zombieman material is sorely lacking at the moment :’( Seriously, I’d love to read other people’s headcanons of him, even if you/they think they’re silly and no one wants them. I looooove seeing other people’s interpretations of him~!

A mixture of SFW and non-SFW headcanons under the cut. These are generally gender-neutral. It’s probably better if MDNI.

SFW (General):

~ZM is almost useless when it comes to advanced technology—not related to guns, at least. That being said, he’s pretty handy around the home; he can fix broken walls and patch up ceilings; fix outlets and replace fixtures; could even do basic car repairs if he/you had one.

~Is actually a pretty okay cook. Used to be terrible at it, but got better as he got more and more acquainted with bachelor-life.

~Speaking of which, he’s single. His rank in the HA is mostly due in part to just how much work he gets done. His deal isn’t so much that he’s addicted to work, as much as it is that he cares greatly about protecting people. And as such, he doesn’t have much time to date.

~Building on that, he has gone out on dates before, but he’s found that most of his date-buddies are usually only into him because he’s famous, or that he simply doesn’t have enough in common with them.

~It’s also implied in the manga by Genus that he probably wasn’t a great person before his experiments/before he became a hero. The data book says he doesn’t like talking about his past, either. That being as it is, I imagine he also has fears about people not accepting his past if they ever find out about it, so he also finds trouble in dating because he has difficulty in opening up to/being vulnerable with people

~In fact, part of the reason why he has such a soft spot for kids is that he envies their options (still not at a place where they can go down the wrong path like he did) and their innocence toward how rough the world can be. He wants to protect that.

~Kinda basic, but he’s really into the detective/noir scene: movies, books, aesthetic, etc. He’s not necessarily a bookworm, but he does have a fair collection of detective novels.

~This loser likes elevator music and no one will convince me otherwise—just really into the oldies and has it playing in the background while he fiddles with/repairs/prepares his guns and other weaponry

~Probably one of—if not the most—down-to-earth guys of the S-Class; really doesn’t let the fame get to his head. He tries to avoid fanclubs/fanboys/fangirls when he can, but does have a soft spot for the children that look up to him.

Relationships:

~He’s not at home as much as both of you would like, so if you want to be his partner in life, you have to either be prepared to spend a good amount of time alone, or be a hero who’s talented enough to be able to keep up with him

~That being said, he’s still a great boyfriend that makes up his lack of personal time with you by making sure the time you do spend together is filled with lots of love

~Zombieman wouldn’t just take a lover lightly; if he’s with you, it means that he trusts you a great deal, and you probably know all of the sordid details of his past and experimentation

~He’d be very understanding of a partner that has a dark past if they truly show that they’re reformed

~He’s sterile. This gives him mixed feelings on the very rare occasions that he even thinks about it. If he weren’t a hero and didn’t feel so much responsibility to protect others, he would definitely like being a dad. That being as it is, he is a busy man, and fears that he wouldn’t be as good a father as he would want to be.

~If the world were to ever calm down, and he therefore had more time for his personal life, he would be up for adopting a child with his long-term partner if they so desired.

~Isn’t a huge fan of PDA. He doesn’t want his fans to cause trouble for his partner for one, and the other part of it is that he would much prefer to keep his affections private, because he can get heated rather easily.

~Building on that, he’s can be quite touchy-feely when you two are in private: hands around your waist; resting his chin on your head if you’re shorter than him, or, jokingly using your shoulder as an awkward arm rest if you’re taller than him, just for the laughs; lots and lots of head pats and ruffles—really likes playing with your hair when your head is on his lap. Just a fan of cuddling on the couch in general.

~He’d likely be a little hesitant with you at first if you aren’t a fan of children. If you outright hate them, I have a hard time seeing that he’d be able to relate with you. You have to definitely be able to get along with Child Emperor at the absolute least.

~Building on that, if you love kids, then he warms up to you a bit quicker.

~Is open to marriage but doesn’t consider it a great priority for building a family with you. If you want to get married and the time is right, he’ll be right on that. If you don’t need to get married to prove your love, he’s right there with you.

~Isn’t really the jealous type, but he could be depending on the person and just how close you are to them. He trusts you fully, and can even find humor in others flirting with you, just because he knows that you’re his and he’s yours.

~But if it’s someone from the S-class that shows interest in you, he does become just the tiniest bit territorial. He wouldn’t do anything brash to claim you as his in front of the competition, but at the very least he’ll step to your side to remind the other person that he is—in fact—present, and very much still your boyfriend.  

~If you want him to quit smoking, he’ll definitely try his best to do so; even if he finds that he can’t do it that easily, he’ll at the very least make a point of not smoking around you.

~If you’re a smoker, but don’t have regeneration abilities, he can be a bit hypocritical of you smoking. He cares about your health and wants to keep you around for as long as he can, so he’ll definitely want you to quit, or at the very least cut back—for his sake.

~What he looks for in a partner first and foremost is kindness, sympathy, and the ability to feel empathy. Patience is also a definite virtue.

~Likes being both the big and small spoon, so he leaves it up to which one you want to go for.

Miscellaneous (SFW and Non-SFW):    

~No strong opinions on his sexuality. Might have a preference for women, but hey, maybe not. I could also see him as being demisexual, but still with a general preference for female-presenting people.

~During spicy times he likes to take the lead and be on top; but especially likes positions were he can see his partner’s face.

~Likes every part of his partner’s body, but is especially an ass guy. Expect random spanks around the house if you’re okay with that. He’s really respectful of your boundaries, so if you’re not, don’t worry.

~ Is strictly monogamous—does not want to share at any capacity.

~Call it what you will—self wish-fulfillment if you want— but I do genuinely think he’s not too much into casual dalliances. He’s no virgin by any means, but he prefers to keep his sexual activities to people he cares about. He might have been fairly active in his younger years, but as an adult, he is far more in control of his base desires and his priorities have shifted.

~Gets in to drunken shenanigans that make you wonder if he’s even the same person.

~Platonically, he opens up a bit more and is prone to doing goofy things he would never do when sober. Is also a lot more clumsier and brash, but otherwise harmless. Just a happy drunk in general, but that can quickly fade into being a sleepy drunk if he doesn’t watch his intake.

~Romantically, he becomes a lot more forward with you and will be more open to PDA. But also definitely the type to spurn your kindness/(pre-consented) advances and say something like, “Dun’ touch me! I-I’ve got a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner already an’ they’re way b-better than you!” And it’s half-sweet—half-offensive, and you’re not really sure how to take it. Only when he’s nearing on black-out drunk, though.

~When he is home with you he has a pretty healthy sex-drive. The deed can occur from anywhere between three to seven times a week if he has the time. If not, he does prefer to have sex/love-making at least once a week for bonding purposes. Is totally understanding if you don’t want/can’t do the deed for whatever reasons.

~Will definitely have an after-sex smoke break, usually after ten to fifteen minutes of pillow talk and making sure you’re okay with it.

~Is a healthy medium in “size,” probably more girthy than long. He’s not small by any means, but he’s not blow-your-mind big, either. He’s actually pretty satisfied with his size and wouldn’t change it if given the chance.

~Speaking of which, ZM is not vain by any means, but he is pretty pleased with his body in general. The man is fully aware that he has cake, and that’s the way he likes it.

~He differentiates between love-making and sex. Prefers the former, but is always up for the latter if you are.

[fonulyn]

Hi! I love all of your fics so much they always make me smile whenever I see you post! I was wondering if I could request leon seeing chris in his revelations 1 sailor costume? I think that costume is the best thing capcom has even given us so I think maybe its Halloween and claire made him wear it?

awh thank you! :) i'm so happy to hear you enjoy the ficcage! 💖also yes, that costume really is something else :'D i had the pic open in a second window while writing this little thing and it was kind of distracting lmao

-

"I don't know about this," Chris grumbled as he looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't know which part was worst. The sailor shirt he was wearing was so tight it was like painted on, hugging his torso in a way that practically underlined every single muscle, the collar cut so low it made him feel half-naked. It was a crop-top, too, revealing a slice of skin even with how high-waisted his pants were.

The pants were another problem: they were white shorts, and they might've even been tolerable had they not been so tight. Chris wasn't sure if he'd dare to sit or crouch down in those. His thighs might just burst the seams open. He felt absolutely ridiculous, grumbling again as he pulled the white gloves on. "Are you sure you won't reconsider?"

Claire, that asshole, laughed at him. "Nope. You lost the bet, now you'll wear whatever I make you wear." She grinned brightly as she approached him, reaching up to set the sailor cap on top of his head. "Trust me on this, you'll feel much better about the costume later on." She held out a pair of aviators and he snatched them from her to slip them on his nose, even if he was still frowning all the way.

"I don't see how this could get any better," Chris argued. "Unless half a bottle of whiskey helps." Goddamnit, Claire had even rubbed a press-on decal tattoo of a damn anchor on each of his upper arms, completing the ridiculous mock-sailor-getup.

Claire patted his shoulder, handing him a pipe of all things. "C'mon, Popeye," she teased. "Don't you trust your sister?"

Chris sighed. "Absolutely not."

*

As soon as they got into the Halloween party, Chris headed off to find something to drink, preferably something strong as he really needed something to stave off his nerves. Claire bounded off in her noir detective costume, already collecting long looks from more than one person. Chris absolutely refused to look around enough to see how many people were looking at him. He could do without the mockery.

Once Chris got a beer in his hands he felt a little bit better, grabbing a slice of some kind of quiche from the buffet table. He didn't even realize he wasn't alone, not before suddenly he was startled out of his thoughts by "Nice outfit, Redfield."

Grumbling, Chris already geared up to tell whoever it was to fuck off, but as soon as he turned his head he realized who it was. "Jesus Christ, Leon, don't scare a guy like that," he huffed instead, trying to play it off like he wasn't bothered at all by how ridiculous he looked.

Leon looked amazing, as always. Sure he was wearing a pretty hilarious pirate hat, but the rest of the outfit looked good on him. A long red coat, knee-length pirate boots, a wide belt across his chest, a sword strapped to his hip. Chris would've gladly swapped costumes with him, and seeing Leon in the tight white shorts would've been only the cherry on top.

"It's not my fault you lack basic awareness of your surroundings," Leon answered good-naturedly, even winking at Chris. He had an eyepatch but he'd flipped it up so it wasn't actually covering his eye, and a little petulantly Chris reached out to turn it back down.

"You're not the one who looks absolutely ridiculous," Chris said, at length, shifting a little uncomfortably in his place. "I'm not sure if there's bloodflow in my thighs anymore."

Leon looked down, letting his gaze linger. He didn't stop at that, but shamelessly raked his gaze over not only Chris' thighs but also his waist, practically drinking in the sight of his abs, all the way up his toned chest and his thick muscular arms. Chris was beginning to sweat a little under the intensity of the gaze, until Leon met his eyes again.

"I don't know what you mean," Leon said, and Chris was ninety-percent sure he didn't imagine the huskiness in Leon's voice. "I think you look absolutely smokin'." As much as he glanced at the pipe as he said it, the meaning of his words was still more than clear.

It sent all blood rushing down and Chris swore under his breath. He couldn't afford these pants getting even tighter. Besides, everyone would notice it if he'd pop an awkward boner in them. ...if he even could, realistically, the shorts were really, really tight.

There was a short pause, but then Leon went on. "If you're concerned about the lack of bloodflow, though," he said, sipping at his own beer as he let his gaze drop down, clearly suggestively, "I think I could help you restore that."

It took a second for the meaning of the words to sink in. Thankfully in those seconds Chris' confidence also returned from the war and he managed a pretty cocky grin. "I'm a respectable sailor," he teased, "what makes you think I'd follow a dirty pirate like you?"

Leon grinned. "Dirty pirates know all the dirtiest tricks."

*

They stayed - and continued their awful flirting - for a while longer, but as soon as they figured it'd be polite to ditch the party they headed out. Just before he slipped through the door Chris caught Claire's eye, and Claire immediately gave him a wink and a thumbs-up.

Turns out, Chris absolutely should have trusted Claire all along.

[quicksilversquared]

The Substitute Ladybug: Chapter 6

After Lila takes things too far and Marinette ends up with a broken leg, Paris is going to have to deal with a different superhero arrangement for a bit. Having to share her superhero identity with her parents before Hawkmoth can be defeated isn’t something that Marinette had planned on doing, but- well, it might end up being a bit of a blessing in disguise.

links in the reblog

Marinette entered school Thursday morning to find Chloe and Adrien in what appeared to be a very heated discussion in the corner of the classroom. Chloe's expression was switching back and forth between furious, pleading, and absolutely aloof as they talked, and at one point, she stomped her foot. Adrien flinched at that, but only for a fraction of a second before he squared his shoulders again and raised his chin, clearly determined.

Marinette ducked her head down and tried to focus on her sketchbook. Normally when her classmates got into arguments with Chloe she tried to step in and provide some backup, but Adrien and Chloe's relationship was different. As much as Marinette didn't understand it, the two of them had a history and in the past, her trying to step in didn't work out so well. It just put Chloe on the defense, and made things harder to solve instead of easier. Even if she kept her distance- well, Chloe would try to throw a fit about her eavesdropping.

So she did her best to not eavesdrop, but it was hard not to overhear the stray word here and there. "Bully" and "unacceptable" came up several times, as well as more than a few exclamations of "ridiculous!" from Chloe. And then, quieter but still loud enough to be heard, "but you promised..."

"That promise was based on the assumption that you would continue doing better, Chloe," Adrien said firmly, stepping away from Chloe. "And you haven't. And I can't tolerate you bullying my other friends."

Chloe turned up the sniffles. "So you're breaking your promise? To be friends forever?"

Marinette couldn't resist the urge to glance up at that. This was usually the point when Adrien would cave to whatever Chloe wanted, when she turned on the tears. This time, though, his expression didn't waver.

"You're just being manipulative now," Adrien said, stepping back. "I told you why. You just don't want to do any work to be better, and that's not fair. I shouldn't have to be making excuses for you all the time."

"Excuses?!" Chloe snapped, and now it was impossible not to overhear. "Excuses for what?"

Adrien looked absolutely incredulous. "Uh, for your bullying? For how you behave? For how mean you are to my other friends? For-" He gave himself a shake. "Actually, you know what, I'm not going to go over this all over again. I've already told you my reasoning. You know what you need to do better on if you want me to be your friend again. And I'm not going to argue about it."

And with that, Adrien turned away from Chloe, steeping away and heading back to his seat. As soon as his back was fully to Chloe, Marinette could see the nerves surfacing in his expression, nerves that he hadn't let show before. Clearly he was going out of his comfort zone by standing up to Chloe, but this time he was standing firm.

Her heart skipped as Adrien let out a short breath before pulling himself together, shaking off his nerves and squaring his shoulders up again before sitting down in his seat. That- that was really attractive. One of her biggest reservations- one of her biggest concerns, really- about Adrien and her crush on him had been his friendship with Chloe (as nonexistent as that friendship seemed sometimes, considering that he seemed to prefer hanging out with basically anyone else) and his reluctance to call Chloe out for her bullying.

It- well, it had been frustrating, sometimes. But now- this time, Adrien hadn't backed off when Chloe grew upset. Yet, at least. It was still early.

Either way, it was a step in the right direction. Hopefully.

Chloe sulked for the entire morning. She sent pouty looks at Adrien on and off all morning, clearly hoping for a change in heart, but Adrien didn't even glance in her direction. There were a few times when he almost did, but he caught himself right away.

"Ugh, I hope she doesn't get akumatized again," Alya muttered as she glanced at Chloe sulking in her seat as everyone else packed up for lunch. "Every time Chloe gets akumatized, something bad happens. Or at least it seems that way."

Marinette nodded in agreement, automatically checking her bag to make sure that the box with the Horse in it was still safely stashed in its pocket. Thankfully, with the change in Guardians and the corresponding change in the shape of the Miraculous Box, the shape of the temporary housing boxes had changed too, to a more circular shape that somewhat resembled her yo-yo, and it didn't make nearly as strangely-shaped of a lump as the other box style would have against the fabric. With that change- well, hopefully it wouldn't stand out enough for anyone to question what it was. So far, she had been lucky.

"Then again, maybe Hawkmoth won't bother," Alya mused after a pause, gathering up the last of her things and heading for the door. Marinette followed on her crutches at once, not wanting to miss the latest on superhero gossip. "After all, it's been- what? Five days since the last attack? I think that one really rattled Hawkmoth, because everyone that was nearby swore that Mayura got hit by Sting right away and the superheroes just dodged all of the akuma's beams, no problem. And actually- did you know Max analyzed the footage with Markov, and he says that the chances of that happening, especially with a completely new team member in the mix, were, like, single digits. So it's insane that they managed it. And in such a short, intense fight, too- like, they got right in there instead of trying to fight from a distance!"

Marinette hid a smile. Those sounded like fairly accurate percentages, honestly, considering the number of resets that she had had to do for entirely getting-hit-by-akuma-beams reasons. "That's pretty cool."

"Yeah, and I wanted to post his calculations and analysis of that, but Nino pointed on that it might spur on the Ladybug-vs-Coccinelle debate and I didn't want that." Alya let out a long sigh. "This whole thing- all of the sudden inexplicable improvement- it's weird. When Coccinelle first showed up, the fights were pretty comparable in length to when Ladybug was there, and then they just changed like a switch was flipped." She frowned. "Like there was some other change. But I can't figure out what."

"Maybe there was," Marinette suggested. "And- I mean, Ladybug's probably still been involved, right? Since normally she's the one giving the Miraculous out and a couple extra ones came into play?"

Alya snapped her fingers. "Yes!" she exclaimed, pointing at Marinette. Then she frowned again, her hand drooping back to her side. "Unless she just gave access to the other Miraculous to Chat Noir or Coccinelle. Probably Chat Noir, because why would she put a temporary holder, even a long-term one, in charge of that? She didn't even let other temporary holders keep their Miraculous for more than one battle in a row."

...Marinette was detecting a bit of jealousy there, but she wasn't going to try to call Alya out on it. After all, even now, Alya wasn't supposed to tell anyone about being Rena Rouge, and sensing jealousy wouldn't make sense unless Marinette already knew (or just suspected, but Alya probably wouldn't think of that) about Alya's superhero identity.

"That's what I'm assuming given the evidence, at least," Alya added hastily after a second, glancing back at Marinette as they headed across the courtyard and towards the locker rooms. "Since we never had the same temps show up for two battles in a row."

Marinette smothered a grin. "Right."

"I'd try to get in after a fight and ask questions, but with the short fights- unless I'm nearby to start with or they don't show up right away, I can't get there fast enough," Alya added. "And I kind of doubt that Chat Noir would answer much more about Ladybug's absence. Vacation, burn-out, and illness seem to be the top theories on the Ladyblog, but I bet he wouldn't want to narrow down the field of people who might be Ladybug by confirming anything."

That was the understatement of the century. Her partner wasn't going to do or say anything that would further risk her identity. In fact, she and Chat Noir had discussed the possibility of asking her mom to maybe be Coccinelle again for a week or two later in the year, just to throw people off, just in case anyone was suspicious about the timing of Marinette's broken leg.

If nothing else, random reappearances of Coccinelle might help put Hawkmoth on edge and a bit more cautious about coming out and joining the battle himself, knowing that Ladybug and Coccinelle could swap out without warning. If he and Mayura ventured out, they could end up in a normal battle against Ladybug or Chat Noir, or they could end up on the losing side of an intense 5-minute battle against Coccinelle and Chat Noir.

...really, the more she thought about it, the more appealing the idea to swap out teams on a random basis sounded. It would keep Hawkmoth guessing and hopefully off-balance, which was right where they wanted him.

"D'you think that Chloe's gonna try to throw another party to get back in your good graces, Adrien?" Nino asked from behind them, pulling Marinette out of her musings about how often Coccinelle might come out again after her leg was fully healed. "Since it worked last time?"

Adrien snorted, and both Alya and Marinette abandoned their conversation to step back and join the boys. "Maybe, maybe not. I mean, it didn't exactly end great, did it? Chloe didn't want anyone finding out about her bear, and then the whole school did. And having to be on her best host behavior for several hours clearly wasn't easy, plus her mom is at the Grand Paris now. She might put her foot down about having a bunch of collegèe students running all over the hotel for an entire evening." He shrugged. "And it's not going to impress me now. She's actually got to keep it up if I'm going to want to be friends with her. Or even tolerate her company outside of the classroom, really."

Nino squinted at him for a minute, then blinked. "Who are you, and what have you done with Adrien Agreste?"

"Har, har," Adrien retorted, tugging on Nino's arm before he could walk straight into a wall. He didn't look nearly as confident as before, glancing away uncomfortably before looking back at Nino. "It's just that, well, I've realized that she isn't a very good friend, and I'm not being a great friend to you guys when I don't say anything about her being a bully. And maybe she'll eventually decide that she doesn't care about whether I'm her friend anymore and go back to being a bully, but maybe she won't. Or she won't behave as badly, or- well, even a little reprieve is a good thing, right?" He sighed. "Though stopping altogether would be better."

Marinette bit her tongue. In all honesty, she really, really doubted that Chloe would stop bullying people. She had been doing it for so long that it was habit now, and why should she stop? When she bullied people and ordered everyone around, she got her way. The loss of one friend- one friend who had been spending practically no time with her anyway, since Adrien clearly preferred to hand out with their more pleasant classmates- was probably less of a sacrifice than suddenly no longer getting her way on everything.

"But I guess we'll see," Adrien finished, glancing back towards the classroom once more before resolutely turning away. "We can only hope for the best, really. So. Uh." He glanced around, clearly wanting to change the subject but struggling for a topic. His eyes landed on Marinette's crutches. "What's new? Marinette, how's your leg feeling?"

"It's healing," Marinette said, trying not to make the words sound as robotic as they felt. She shrugged as much as she could with the crutches. "I'm halfway done with the crutches, though. Hopefully, at least. The doctors said that it could be six to eight weeks until the cast could get removed, though they were leaning more towards six." She made a face. "I hope it's only six weeks. I want to be able to go back up to my room. And I'm tired of stairs being difficult."

Alya made a funny noise that was very quickly smothered. Marinette gave her a dark look.

"Stairs aren't normally difficult, I just sometimes go too fast!"

Alya looked like she sorely wanted to say something about that but couldn't. Adrien just nodded, though, completely sympathetic.

It didn't take long for them to drop off notebooks and gather their things to bring home for lunch. Nino and Alya darted off for a lunchtime date in the park, waving over their shoulders as they dashed off in their hurry to not waste any of their lunch hour. Adrien lingered by Marinette's side like he always did, making sure that her crutches didn't get knocked over by the other students rushing through the locker room.

It had flustered her at first, but she had gotten used to Adrien's concern and his chivalry over the past couple weeks and had adapted to it. She had had to, because it was either that or end up in a Marinette puddle by the end of the day because he was always right there and ready to help her at a moment's notice.

With a bit of help from Adrien to get down the stairs in front of the school, it didn't take long for Marinette to reach the (mostly) even footing of the sidewalk. She thanked him with a quick kiss to his cheek, then hopped towards the bakery, dodging the other students as best as she could as everyone scattered for lunch.

Dodging was much easier when she didn't have crutches and a cast and could maneuver more easily, but at least most people tended to give her a wide berth. Marinette suspected that at least a few were worried that she might topple over and whack everyone with her crutches on her way down.

"How was school?" Tikki called as soon as Marinette made her way up to the kitchen and through the door. She was perched on Mrs. Cheng's shoulder as she warmed up lunch for Marinette. "Did it go well?"

"Someone made sure to lean down for his thank-you kiss today!" Sass called out, flitting out of Marinette's purse with an impish snicker. "He's looking forward to it now!"

Mrs. Cheng raised an amused eyebrow at Marinette while she spluttered. "A thank-you kiss?"

"I- uh- well-" Marinette spluttered, blushing bright red. "It's just- he always waits for me at my locker to make sure my crutches don't get knocked over, and then he's been carrying me piggyback down the stairs, and just being really sweet, and, uh..."

Tikki was giggling. "So he gets a kiss?"

"A cheek kiss!" Marinette clarified hastily. This was why she hadn't told her kwami (or Alya) about the cheek kisses, because she knew they would tease her. "As a thank-you! Or a hug, but he seems to like the cheek kisses and he leaned down for it today so that it would be easy for me to reach."

Tikki cheered and zipped over to Marinette. "That's good news! It's progress, right?"

"Or he's decided that it's a normal thing to do between friends," Marinette told her kwami with a little laugh. She had been working hard on not getting her hopes up or reading too far into Adrien's behavior. Doing so would just end with her stumbling over her words. "I doubt that he's seeing it as anything more."

"Yes, but he's clearly comfortable enough with you to encourage you to be in his space," Mrs. Cheng chimed in, stepping over to the table with a plate and cup for Marinette. She smiled at her daughter as she pulled out the chair for her. "And it's always nice if you're getting comfortable enough with each other to share casual touches like that."

Marinette just ducked her head, unable to keep the blush off of her face.

"So other than thanking Adrien for helping you out with getting around school, how was your morning?" Mrs. Cheng asked. She brought over her own plate of food, settling across from Marinette at the table. "Anything interesting?"

"Adrien is standing up against Chloe," Marinette told her mom, remembering the conversation that she had partially overheard from that morning. "He's told her that he's not going to be her friend when she's bullying people." After a moment, she frowned. "He seemed determined about it, but also really uncomfortable, somehow. Nino was teasing him about it, since the last time Adrien told her that, she went right back to being a bully right away, and Adrien just changed topics right away."

Mrs. Cheng smiled, setting her fork down. "Adrien is probably self-conscious about it, and drawing more attention to what he's doing is just making him uncomfortable. I'm sure he'd prefer quiet, private assurances that he's doing the right thing over teasing, no matter how friendly the teasing is."

Marinette frowned at that, puzzled. "Why would he be self-conscious about that, though? I don't understand."

"Because he's probably only recently realized what kinds of effects his friendship with Chloe and his excuses for her are having on his other friends," Mrs. Cheng told her. Her smile turned sad. "And a realization like that- well, it would be a bit uncomfortable that he hadn't realized it before, when it probably seems obvious looking back. So then he wants to make things right, which means going against habit. Habit, and I assume what he's been taught by his parents as well."

Marinette considered that. It made sense, but... "What his parents taught him?"

"Mr. Agreste seems the sort to drill in 'don't rock the boat' as an acceptable life lesson," Mrs. Cheng said, her nose screwed up in distaste. "And not the sort to want to point out what kinds of behaviors are right or wrong, or else he'd run the risk of Adrien knowing how very terrible Mr. Agreste's behavior can be." The nose scrunch intensified. "It's easier to just not bother to teach those lessons. More convenient, too."

"So if he's not been taught, then how would he be noticing now?" Marinette asked. She took a quick bite, then glanced up at her mom again. "Or do you think it's been something that's building up over time?"

"Well, it's impossible to know for sure, but I would assume that maybe a trusted adult mentioned something." Mrs. Cheng got up as the teapot started whistling, pouring herself a cup before returning to the table. "Now that he's going to school, he's coming into contact with more people than he used to. He's meeting more adults than the ones that his father had vetted and has control over. Maybe one of them said something."

Marinette thought about that. It had to have been a teacher, to see how Adrien and Chloe and all of the other students interacted, but that didn't seem right, somehow. "I can't see any of the teachers saying anything, though. Madam Mendeleev doesn't really get involved with student lives, and Ms. Bustier- well, she thinks that Chloe will get better if we're just nice to her all of the time instead of calling her out on being a bully."

"It might not be a teacher," her mom reminded her. She took a sip of tea, then made a slight face. "Ah. Needs honey."

"But how else would they know about what's going on at school?"

"Adrien might have told them," Mrs. Cheng said. She was rummaging through the cupboards now, then smiled as she pulled out her jar of honey. "He may have picked up that something about how he was interacting with others was off, and wanted to figure out what with an outside perspective. It's what Chat Noir has been doing, because- like Adrien- he hasn't had the best adult figures in his life so far."

Marinette bit down the reflexive mum, secret identities!whine that rose in her throat in favor of listening. "Oh?"

"They've had poor social training, but neither of them are stupid. They're bound to pick up on discontent and exasperation when they do things like not speak up about bullying." Mrs. Cheng scooped in a half-spoonful of honey into her tea, then rejoined Marinette at the table. "In their eyes, they were responding correctly to the situation, so why is it causing problems? Noticing that something is wrong and reaching out to figure out how to correct it is hard, and actually changing your own behavior... well, it's very hard. I can tell you that Chat Noir was quite worried that people would make a big deal about it."

Marinette could understand that. When she first started really standing up against Chloe, she had been going out of her comfort zone. Chloe was an established bully with plenty of influence with the teachers, and Marinette... well, she protested against Chloe's bullying, of course, but actually pushing back as hard as she did now hadn't come easily. Just staying out of Chloe's way and not getting into fights- and especially getting into fights on her classmates' behalf- was easier. Just trying to comfort her classmates after the fact was easier- well, until Hawkmoth arrived on the scene and could dig his claws in before she could find them and cheer them up.

After that... well, Marinette had gotten an extra confidence boost from being Ladybug and a whole lot more determination from Alya, and she had thrown herself into pushing back against Chloe. It had been hard, and there had definitely been times when she had maybe not acted when she could have because she was too tired.

And she had started from a completely different point than Adrien had. Marinette had never been friends with Chloe, and Adrien had had years of when Chloe was his only friend. Marinette had been on the receiving end of Chloe's bullying for years and knew what it felt like, while Adrien never had. If her mom was right, Adrien had probably been dissuaded from recognizing and calling out bullying, while she hadn't. He was probably going completely out of his comfort zone.

Which meant that he needed his friends' support, not teasing.

"So do you think that I should say something about it?" Marinette asked. "Like, encouraging him? Or do you think that would embarrass him too?"

Mrs. Cheng smiled. "Well, it depends. Not everyone is the same, and it would be different if you brought it up yourself versus if Adrien had just faced off against Chloe again or someone else brought it up. I'd say that if he brings it up, that might be a good time to mention your support, too."

Marinette nodded. "Right. That makes sense."

"Good." Mrs. Cheng took another sip of her tea. "So, other than that, how was your morning?"

  Afternoon classes were still ten minutes away when Marinette returned to school, giving her plenty of time to pick her way up the outside stairs (carefully) and across the courtyard. There were still some students walking around- after all, some people just ate in the cafeteria instead of going home- but for the most part, Marinette had a clear path to the locker room.

"Marinette! Wait up!"

Marinette paused, turning as much as she could to see Adrien trotting towards her, a grin on his face. He caught up to her right away, placing one hand on her shoulder to steady her as she turned back around to head forward again. "Hey! Where's the fire?"

"I wanted to catch up, that's all." Adrien grinned over at her. "You're going really fast on those crutches now. I don't think that I ever get that good when I broke my leg."

Marinette blinked. This... well, this was the first time that she had ever heard of Adrien having broken his leg before, too. Which- well, it was hardly as though there hadn't been chances for him to bring it up before, but maybe he had been worried about looking like he was trying to make himself the center of attention or something. "When you broke your leg?"

Adrien winced. "Yeah. I broke my leg when I was nine, during a basketball game against a team of older kids. It got a bit rough, and I ended up getting tripped and going flying." He paused, stepping ahead of her to hold the locker room door open for her to come through. He sent a glare at another student when they ducked through the door he had just opened, apparently oblivious to Marinette's crutches. "It was a pretty serious break, too. And I remember how much it sucked to have to deal with a broken leg. One of the things I hated most was getting my pants on and off every day. Like, even with shorts, it was just so hard to get them over the cast. So I may have begged my parents to just let me wear a skirt instead."

Marinette couldn't help but giggle. "Oh, man, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that. I bet your father wasn't thrilled with the idea."

"Not at all," Adrien agreed. "Even though I pointed out that the Scottish have kilts- I thought that was a very compelling argument, actually- and then the ancient Greeks and Romans had tunics. And it wasn't like I was going out in public anyway. But Father wouldn't hear of it." His grin widened. "He did eventually design several pairs of pants that had a zipper running all the way down the side, so that I didn't have to wrestle them over the cast. That was only after I started making and wearing bedsheet togas in protest, though."

Marinette had to stop walking so that she wouldn't fall over while laughing, leaning heavily on her crutches as she tried to imagine Mr. Agreste's face. He was so incredibly straight-laced that she had to imagine that his reaction had probably been either pretty funny or borderline frightening. She herself was glad that it was warm enough outside that dresses and skirts were an entirely practical choice, though she couldn't deny that she was also looking forward to being able to go back to her normal outfits as well.

But pants- capris, maybe?- with a zipper up the side? That was an idea.

...except that her sewing machine was only really accessible via use of the Horse Miraculous, unless she wanted to go up the stairs on her butt, and she was trying not to abuse the Miraculous powers for her own personal benefit. And maybe her mom had offered to bring the sewing machine down, but then she had to think about what materials she would need, and there were just so many components to think about, and she would need to start with a base pattern, which would mean going out to search for one.

Ugh. Fine. She would stick to skirts for now.

"Nino thought that it was a bit weird when I mentioned it," Adrien commented after a moment, neatly catching Marinette's crutch after it slipped out from under her arm because she was laughing so hard. An uncertain look flashing across his face for a moment. "Because 'guys don't wear skirts' or something like that. But I thought you might find it amusing."

"Nino's jealous that he can't pull off a skirt and you can," Marinette said right away, wanting to wipe that insecurity off of Adrien's face. She could totally see Nino being weirded out by the idea of wearing a skirt, but he hadn't ever had a broken leg. He didn't know how inconvenient it was to get dressed with a cast in the way.

And for Adrien, who had all of his clothes closely fitted to give off an ultra-tailored look, it would be super inconvenient.

Adrien laughed properly at that, taking Marinette's backpack so that she could open her locker. "Most of it is in the attitude, I think. If he's uncomfortable, it'll show. If you're fine with it, things tend to look normal."

Marinette nodded. She could understand that. After all, it applied to models normally, too. Sometimes it really was all about how something was presented. "I wish I could have seen that. It sounds like it would have been cute."

Adrien perked up. "Would- would you want to come over sometime and see the photos I have, maybe? Mom took a bunch, since it took Father a couple days to make zip-side shorts that actually worked."

"And you wore a toga the entire time?" Marinette asked. Without waiting for an answer, she grinned. "I'd love to come over. Just let me know when it would be a good time."

Adrien lit up. "Great! I'll definitely ask Nathalie when you can come over. I'll have to frame it as a study session, probably," he added. "Just in case Father is still being a stick in the mud about the whole thing and doesn't want me to tell anyone about it. So we'll have to do some studying, too, to make it realistic. And it might not be right away, either, since I don't know how full my schedule will be."

"Oh, no, how terrible," Marinette deadpanned, smiling wider when Adrien snickered. He had been super self-conscious about his father's habit of having Nathalie or the Gorilla check in on him and his friends when they were over there to study at first, so it was good to see that he wasn't so worried about how they would react anymore. Adrien knew that they weren't going to judge him for his father's over-supervision. "Studying? How will I survive?"

As Adrien laughed harder, Marinette could only smile over at him fondly. After how uncomfortable Adrien had clearly been that morning, it was good to see him relaxed and laughing again. Maybe it wouldn't last long- after all, once Chloe returned from lunch, it was very likely that she would make another attempt at getting Adrien swayed back to her side- but for now, Marinette would just enjoy their time together.

[2manyfandoms2count]

#MarichatMay Day 6

Wasn’t very inspired by the first few days, but this one spoke to me to me for some reason. Not sure it came out as good as what I imagined, but I tried!

Small warning, I know it’s supposed to be Marichat May, but I’m a sucker for all the square ships and I don’t really know how to separate them so this is Marichat with a splash of Adrienette.

Hope you enjoy! And thanks @marichatmay for hosting this!

---

Day 6: Hold my baton

Marinette had waited all day for science class. Not that she particularly favoured Mrs. Mendeleiev’s class, but because today was the beginning of an important project that would carry through to the end of the year. A project in pairs. 

She hadn’t really thought about it until that morning, assuming that as per usual, she’d be teamed up with Alya, but her best friend had had an agenda. Tired of Marinette’s constant procrastination when it came to confessing her feelings to Adrien, the young girl had decided to be the catalyst of the love reaction 95% of the class was dying to see happen.

“Nuh-uh Mari, not pairing up with you this time. Nino and I have been brainstorming how to sequence DNA from akumas to expose Hawkmoth for months, I’m not abandoning this project. It’s a win-win situation, you’ll have to work with Adrien since  everybody’s keeping their usual pair, this is your chance girl! Just imagine, two months of working closely with Adrien, that’s more than enough time for things to happen if you know what I mean.” She’d waggled her eyebrows suggestively while Marinette weighed her options. It was a foolproof plan. Just a pair switch. Another opportunity to spend this much time with Adrien might not even present itself again. 

She’d agreed seemingly reluctantly -she didn’t want to give Alya the impression that she could do this all the time- but inside she’d been jumping around with joy. It was going to be perfect.

That was without counting on Lila spreading chaotic evilness as she always did, of course. Marinette had almost forgotten about her, she hadn’t been in class for so long. But the girl had made yet another appearance in her life, and with another one of her well-weaved lies she’d captured Adrien in her web, leaving Marinette to work with Chloe and Sabrina, of all people.

She dragged her feet home, internally screaming about how much of a disaster this whole situation had turned out to be.

Her sudden change of mood, from bubbly stammering adorableness to slumped damsel is depressed, had not gone unnoticed by a certain green-eyed boy, however. He had helplessly observed the light leave her eyes as words flew out of Lila’s mouth. He hadn’t even been able to express his own opinion on the pairing choice; had it been up to him, he’d definitely have picked his good friend Marinette to be his pair. She’d left so fast after class that he hadn’t even been able to talk to her.And even if he had, he wasn’t sure he would have been able to make her feel better. But he had a feline someone else could...

Marinette was lying on her bed when she heard a soft rasping sound coming from her terrasse trap door.

“Hey there purr-incess,” Chat Noir winked as she let him in. He was slightly taken aback by the strong hug he was suddenly engulfed in, but promptly hugged her back just as tight.

“You wouldn’t believe how happy I am to see you, kitty.” Marinette whispered. She could have cried, that’s how happy she was to see her favourite partner in crime-solving. “How do you always know when I need someone to talk to?” She gazed into his green cat eyes.

He was half tempted to reveal his real identity to her in that moment, but he doubted Ladybug would approve, even if Marinette was the most trust-worthy person he knew. “Oh, umm...” He stammered, releasing himself from her embrace. “Ladybug and I have been fitted with new powers that allow us to sense negative emotions so we’re ahead of Hawkmoth for akumatisations.” That sounded plausible.

“Is that so?” Marinette replied, a slight twinkle returning in her eye. 

“Yes, and I felt a very negative aura coming out of you, so I thought I’d check everything was alright.”

“That’s very kind Chat, but I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do. It’s just my usual bad luck.” She sighed.

Chat Noir narrowed his eyes. “Who hurt you purr-incess? Is it that boy you like? Who is he? Who does he think he is? Nobody hurts my Marinette and gets to live with it. I’ll fight him for you, you’ll see. Here, hold my baton.” He shoved his weapon in Marinette’s hands and got into a fighting stance, throwing a couple punches in the air. Then on Marinette’s mannequin, which collapsed on him, the hat it was carrying falling on his face. “Actually forget it, that’s a terrible idea. I’m a much better fighter with it.” He straightened the mess he’d made and snatched his rod back from Marinette’s grasp, twirling it like a circus baton. He sneaked a look at her facial expression; she looked amused so he continued clowning around. “Or maybe you could fight him, who knows, it could be cat-thartic.” He winked.

She burst out lauging. “Chat, you do know your puns get worse by the day, right?” 

“You sound like Ladybug.” He pouted, crossing his arms and turning away from her. He had a giddy feeling in his stomach from making her laugh though.

“I never said I didn’t like it.” She smiled, touching his arm lightly. She was slightly flushed. “Thanks kitty, but it’s not Ad-... I mean, the boy I like. I mean, I was supposed to work with him on a project but this girl... You know her, Lila, she ruined it...”

As she was ranting about the day’s events, Chat half-listened, half tried to figure out who the boy might be. Could it be she finally reciprocated Nathanael’s feelings? Was it someone else? Whoever it was, he didn’t deserve her. He crossed eyes with a particularly bad photo of himself -well, of Adrien-, making what he liked to call his “boy, ya dumb” face. It was front and center on a panel of other modelling “grotographs” of him, because he was wearing her hat.

“... Anyway, I’d rather you didn’t go after her, she’s too much of a wild card. No need to give her an excuse to be akumatised again. She could seriously harm you. And Ladybug. I’ll definitely hold your baton if you decide to fight her.”

“Fine, I’ll step down, if that’s what you wish.” He bowed.

There was a big explosion outside, which had them both running to the window to see what was going on. The Eiffel Tower had collapsed. Again.

“They really should have called it the Eistand Tower, maybe then people would be less inclined to making it explode,” Chat muttered, earning himself an amused glance from Marinette. 

“Seems like your new power doesn’t work very well if you couldn’t detect whatever caused that to happen,” she teased him, basically pushing him up the stairs towards her trap door. “You should really go, kitty, you don’t want to leave poor Ladybug fighting alone. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be safe in this sturdy building.” She grinned, knocking on her wall.

“I’m sure you will,” he chuckled, opening the latch. He turned back before taking off. “Hey Marinette?”

“Yes?” She asked absentmindedly, eyeing the damage on the horizon. 

“Whoever it is, I’m sure your man would have much preferred working with you than with Lila.” He knew he would have. Despite his benevolence, he himself was starting to think Lila was beyond help. 

“Thanks, Chat.” She smiled tenderly and kissed him on the cheek. “Now go save Paris!”

Chat leapt away before she could hear the purr that emerged from his chest, making a “so long” gesture as he departed. “I have a feline we’ll see each other soon, my purr-incess!” He yelled.

“Sooner than you think, chaton,” she whispered as she waved at him. She got back inside her room. Was it normal her heart fluttered so much when he came to visit? What had gotten over her, to kiss him? He was going to get the wrong idea again. But would that be so bad?... She decided to answer those questions later. She had a city to save, after all.

“Tikki, spots on!”

[cxffexngel]

Get To Know The Writer!

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: Noir

PRONOUNS: He / Him

ZODIAC SIGN: Gemin/i

TAKEN OR SINGLE: taken, in a polyamorous relationship

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

outside of writting and illustration, I grow fruits to sell or consume myself ( despise my utter distaste to the fruits i have, but hey - it’s free bundles of vitamins for a better nutrition! ) which end with me either forgetting to use gloves or get cuts here and there due some of them have thorns. For some reason, my abilities favoir sour fruits such as lemons, oranges and golden berries - this? is a personal attack from the higher beings to me as I like more sweet and bitter fruits!!! Yet no matter how hard I try, such fruits die one me, only the sour ones survive and thrive as if nothing has ever happened.

I do tend to mention it a lot, or if you have me on twitter, you can see my art and stuff! I like illustrating and mainly I work on fan-art – Freelance works that I cannot publish and other things that require, too, my hands. Drawing is my burden and passion, and thanks to gb/f I’ve been studying wing anatomy just for the sake of drawing angels – it’s horrible and a crime.

 Ever since a kid, I loved plushies – and living in a country where hardly collection exclusive brands hardly reach, i never had much of them beyond generic cat and goofy dragon plushies. But with modernization and money I get from work, since I’m terribly good at saving funds for everything I need AND save, at the same time, for my hobbies, now I have a collection I’m proud of. Like a little hoard of a combination of pok/emon plushies, GB/F plushies (my sandalphon and lucifer plushies are currently my fave ones), a few rare yo/kai-watch ones, etc. I like collecting them, especially if they are super soft and cute!!

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

This is a hard one, but I do recall having RPed on the ol’ fa/cebook days – my memory is not as good as I’d like it to be so I’d be lying just which characers I RPed and how I slowly learned english throught assimilating it entirely in my struggle to get better at it. But it’s been a big part of my life, and with it I learned a lot!

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

 This... Is hard. Since it varies from harboiled detectives with quick temperament to villains who have complex backgrounds. Maybe it’s because of said complexities that drives them to try and do better or worse that I favor characters that are somewhat hard to tell what goes in their mind – plus is funny to bully them or allow a window of development that the source they come from wont give to them, or could be expanded more!      

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: Fluff is my live, from just trivial things as home settings to love both platonic and romanti for the caracter to let themselves go and fluorish? I love it. Watch me ramble about the many ways just simple gestures of appreciation can do a change even on the most terribly wounded characters whose heart doesn’t allow help just yet.

ANGST: Generally speaking, hurt and angst for the sake of sadness is something I tend to avoid. But angst for the sake of positive development in the future is something I love to explore, but could also turn my attention away as it drains a little off me. When it’s about a character’s tragic past and using it as a drive for them to heal, or explore the wounds they still cannot heal so easily, things that take time, ages for them to accept and move on? now that’s delicious food I’d adore to write! 

SMUT: INow this is something I’m... selective about. I enjoy it when it’s in an emotional side, exploring intimacy in ways a character slowly realizes what they feel for the other - smut for the sake of smut is... a line i tend to not cross too much due to my own small insecurity at my ability to write. I feel like i need practice to fully write better scenarions that convey the catargic depth emotional smut can envoy – so i tend to take my sweet time if it’s my turn to write something in that sense. ( but? I admit liking sometimes plotless smut, it’s just not something I’m confident enough to write yet. )

PLOT / MEMES: Memes serve as a base for me to bloom a whole thread, plotting, too, is nice to flesh out further ideas I may already be festering in silence. So... both are good!

tagged by: @aaetherius

tagging : you!

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Taking Whisks || Roland and Kaden

TIMING: Before the scream LOCATION: Roland’s house PARTIES: @sgtrolandhills​ and @chasseurdeloup​ SUMMARY: Upon learning that Sarge eats way too many Lean Cuisines and doesn't even know what a roux is, Kaden offers to teach Roland some cooking basics. The pair bond and have a perfectly pleasant evening. (But for real)

While he could solely rely on prepped delivery boxes with the simplest of instructions, Roland realized he was probably getting too old to not have any real cooking skills. It didn’t look like the being alone aspect of things was changing anytime soon either. With him feeling more and more like he was failing in his work life, he needed something for himself in his personal life. He enjoyed eating. What better hobby to pick up than cooking? Plus, Kaden seemed to know what he was talking about with his roux and flour. He liked Langley well enough. A bit of a wild card, but he could see them getting on outside the station. A friend or two couldn’t hurt, right? That’s what he told himself as he opened the door to welcome Kaden into his home. “Hey,” he greeted, “I appreciate you taking the time to show me the ropes of cooking. I have some beer in the fridge-- lady at the store said it was French. I also have some pinot noir which is apparently pretty nice. Haven’t tried it myself yet.” He had planned on sharing it with Erin, but it was now very apparent what a bad idea that would be. Even if there was no longer evidence against her, he couldn’t look past what he’d seen.

As Kaden stepped up to his boss’s house, he realized he hadn’t planned ahead very well. Well, alright, he had planned ahead and brought not just his own food to cook, but his own pots and pans, too. Okay, sure, Sarge probably had pots and pans but he couldn’t guarantee a man who ate lean cuisines had adequate cooking equipment. What he hadn’t planned on was how in the hell he was going to ring the doorbell. Kaden tried to angle his elbow to knock the door bell but he couldn’t get it just right. He then tried to adjust the pots and pans in his arms to try and wriggle a free hand to knock on the door but there was just too much. Sure, he could just sit something down first and then knock or use the doorbell, but then he’d have to reach down and pick it all up again. Instead, Kaden decided to knock on the door with his foot. Some might call it kicking, but it was clearly a knock. “Hey, Sarge,” he said as the door swung open. “Don’t mention it. I can’t let you waste away on, what are they called again, Lean Cuisines?” Kaden shuddered at the thought. “I’m no master chef, alright, but I can teach a few basics. Trust me, you’ll never be able to go back.” As Kaden settled in the kitchen, he couldn’t help but think how strange it was that he had co-workers. He was so used to being a weird freelancer type, taking whatever odd jobs paid the bills, hunting and relying on the kindness of his hunter contacts. This whole same people every day thing was new. And strange. Stranger yet was that he sort of respected and like Roland. “This wine doesn't look half bad,” he said, looking over the bottle. “You didn’t get it on account of me, right?”

While he and Langley didn’t get to do too much talking at work, Roland did respect him. Animal Control was a vital part of public safety, especially in this town where aggressive animals seemed to somehow be the norm. He looked forward to learning the basics of cooking from him. Weren’t the French notorious for really fine cuisine? From Lean Cuisines to fine cuisine-- that sounded like quite the tagline. “Yeah, you got that right. I take it they don’t have Lean Cuisines in France,” he joked. “I’m sure you’re way ahead of me. I have it on pretty good authority you make good pies.” Why Dr. Kavanagh knew that, he wasn’t sure, but he trusted her to be objective above all else. He welcomed the younger man into his kitchen and gave him a brief tour of his home. There wasn’t much in the way of decor and sometimes he missed the little odds and ends Isabel always kept around to make it feel more welcoming. He’d never been good at that whole home decor thing. At the mention of the wine being nice and Kaden wondering why he’d gotten it, he frowned slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, uh,” he started, “Originally thought I’d share it with a lady friend, but things didn’t quite work out.” It felt odd saying it out loud and he was sure Langley didn’t need to hear about the sad state of his love life. To lighten the mood, he cracked a small smile. “Don’t worry, Langley, not trying to woo you with the fancy wine instead.” He watched as Kaden began unloading bags onto his freshly cleaned kitchen counter. “So what all did you bring and what are we making,” he asked.

“I don’t believe they do, no. I think half the country might riot at the thought alone,” Kaden joked as he started placing his cooking accoutrement on the counter, getting things set up and situated for the lesson at hand. The mention of his pie brought a small smile to his face. It had to be Regan who told him about the pies, right?  He shook his head, tried to focus, didn’t need to sit there grinning like an idiot while thinking about his girlfriend, not after what Sarge just told him. “A lady friend, huh?” Kaden was ready to jibe him, but the look on Sarge’s face made him think better of it. “I’m sure she wasn’t worth it,” he said with a shrug. “Hey, you never know. I’m quite a catch, after all,” he said as he started setting out the ingredients one by one, trying to keep them in order that seemed sensical, easy to follow. “I will warn you, though. I’m taken so sorry to dash your hopes. I know. You’re crushed.” He took his pot and set it on the burner and started the heat it up, low and slow. “So we’re going to start with a roux. It’s a decent base to make a lot of sauces. We can make a white and a red sauce so you have some basic options. You’ll never want to look at a Lean cuisine ever again.” At least he hoped. Sarge was a nice guy. There was no need to keel over on account of the massive amounts of sodium he was likely consuming. “So how did you end up in White Crest, anyway?

The thought of a bunch of French men rioting over Lean Cuisines was pretty comical. Roland chuckled heartily and noticed the small grin on Kaden’s face. It was kind of nice to see him in good spirits. Usually when he saw Langley, Wu or Stryder were ribbing him. Amusing as it was, he knew it could make anyone a little annoyed. Thankfully, Kaden wasn’t pushing the mention of a lady friend. His own lapse in judgment bothered him more than anything else. A pretty face had never been able to fool him in the past. He shrugged, “Definitely am better off. Just thought I was a better judge of character, but what can you do?” Clearly not much considering the evidence against Erin had just vanished somehow. It wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on. All he could do was move forward and work the case alone. Not that his detectives left him with much of an option until he figured out just who was compromising cases so carelessly. He couldn’t help but laugh at Kaden going along with his joke. “Damn, glad I didn’t splurge on the fancy cheese then.” He looked over the ingredients Kaden was pulling out and added them to his mental grocery list. “A roux is a sauce base. I’ve had red and white sauces before… not sure if they’re the same ones, but I’ll give them a go. What would I put them on,” He imagined some sort of meat, vegetable, or pasta which didn’t narrow much of anything down. “I do plan on ditching the Lean Cuisines though.” Mostly on account of needing to take better care of himself. The next question made him shake his head. “Funny story, actually,” he said with a laugh, “I was transferred here. Pretty sure it was because I was hopping ranks too quickly and my boss didn’t want me to get a promotion over him… or I was digging too deeply into a case they wanted to keep hushed. Either way, I’m almost positive they wanted me out of Boston. Joke’s on them, somehow White Crest manages to be more exciting than Boston. What about you? I’m sure Maine is no France.”

“Well, better to figure it out now and not months later.” Kaden huffed out a small laugh, more at himself than Roland. True, things were fine now but he spent how long thinking Regan was human? At least Sarge wouldn’t have to deal with any fall out later “Sorry, just thinking about-- Uh, nevermind.” He pulled out the ingredients, butter, flour, heavy cream. “Yeah, it’s a base, good for a béchamel or espagnole, it can just add a good rich base to a lot of sauces” Kaden reached into one of the bags he brought with him and pulled out a bottle of wine. “And you can add wine to about any sauce to make it better. Sort of a solid rule. Never fails.” As he started working, Kaden explained as he went, showing Roland exactly what he was doing, trying his best to elaborate on it. He wasn’t sure if it all made sense. But he tried and hoped Roland was getting something out of it. “Sure seems like you got more than you bargained for.” Hopping ranks too quickly? That didn’t surprise him. Roland seemed the type to throw himself into work head on, unflinchingly. Part of him figured that was a result of this divorce but maybe Kaden was mistaken and it was the other way around. “Yeah, it’s very different, that’s for sure. I actually was last in Montreal, though. Not as big a leap, but certainly different.”  Kaden stirred the sauce in the making, never taking his eyes off it as he did. “This is probably my first longer term job, believe it or not. Most didn’t really have ranks you could hop. Odd jobs are odd that way.”

“Very true,” Roland agreed. It would have stung much more if he had let himself grow more fond of Erin only to discover the truth. There seemed to be a joke that he didn’t quite get, but Kaden seemed to prefer writing it off. Outside the station, he didn’t make it a habit of pushing people to share. Butter, flour, and heavy cream seemed odd for a sauce, but he supposed flavored correctly it could almost be a picatta or alfredo. He still looked a bit confused as he looked over the ingredients. “Becham-what? I don’t think I’ve had that,” he said somewhat embarrassed even though both words sounded French. He’d at least heard about the wine thing if only because he likes the chicken in white wine sauce at the Cheesecake Factory. “I’ve heard about the wine thing before. Not that I’ve tried it in practice myself, but I’m not completely hopeless.” He realized he may have sounded a bit arrogant, but he knew his former boss was nothing if not insecure. If anything, Roland took pride in his officer moving up because it meant he was doing his job as a leader. “You’re telling me,” he said with a hearty laugh, “This place makes Boston seem like Disneyland. Just means we all have our work cut out for us to make this town a safer place to live.” He followed along as Laden started the roux and listened to the instructions closely before he touched anything. He listened, too, genuinely curious to know more about Kaden. “Montreal, huh? Went there once with my family on vacation. Definitely a different world. Seems like you’re pretty well travelled,” he noted. It was a bit surprising to hear this was his most long term job. “Do you prefer Animal Control to the odd jobs you’ve held in the past? You seem to have a passion for it.”

“Béchamel,” Kaden repeated. He didn’t expect Sarge to get the accent right, rarely did many Americans manage. “It’s similar to an alfredo, but different. You’ll see. Or taste, rather.” Kaden continued working the roux, making sure it mixed and thickened, but stayed light. “Really, so long as it tastes good, that’s all that matters. Cooking’s not too hard when you look at it like that.” He grabbed a second pan and placed it on the stove, gesturing for Roland to take a spot there and try his hand at it. With some guidance, of course. “This town certainly isn’t boring, you can’t deny that,” he said with a half-hearted laugh. “But yeah, I’ve traveled around a lot. Grew up in Lyon, France. Saw most of the country, not all of it of course, moved to Germany after--” Kaden clenched his jaw, stopping his sentence short. Strange how he got used to just casually talking about his parent’s death with so many people. Still wasn’t something he liked to just bring up out of nowhere. “Anyway, lived there a while, I’ve seen a lot of Europe, then came over to Montreal for a bit and now I’m here.”

It was strange to realize how different his life was here to his past. Weirder yet, he didn’t hate it. He was so fucking sure just less than a year ago that stability was the enemy and that it was the last thing he wanted; that it would make his life boring or pointless or just not worth living. Part of him hated how much he preferred things now. Another part wondered what things would be like if he’d opened himself up to things a little sooner. “Surprisingly, yeah. Love it.” He brushed his hands together, looking around for the next ingredient. “Never thought I’d be the type to like a structured job with all the authority and everything.” Kaden tapped the spoon on the edge of the pot, pausing before taste testing. “Not sure there’s any ranks for me to hop but I’m really good with where I am. Guess there’s probably room for improvement, all that.” He took a look at Sarge’s attempts at the sauce. “There’s some room for improvement there, too. But not a bad start.”

It didn’t come as a surprise to Roland that he couldn’t say the name of the fancy French sauce correctly. Even when Kaden repeated it, he looked at him a bit wide-eyed, and tried saying it again more slowly. Still didn’t sound the same, but it was probably at least a little bit closer. “I do like alfredo sauces,” he noted but failed to mention that he primarily ate the Lean Cuisine Chicken Alfredo. Hopefully, this roux tasted even better since the Lean Cuisine one lacked in flavor. It was really a matter of convenience. He didn’t have any sort of passion for food like some folks seemed to. It was a means to an end. “I guess you’re right there. Here’s to hoping all the frozen and canned food hasn’t totally destroyed my palette,” he joked with a laugh. He listened to as Kaden explained his travels and how he ended up here, but also carefully watched the ingredients being prepped. “Sounds like you’ve definitely seen a nice chunk of the world. I’m glad you ended up here though. Not everyone could do your job, especially in this town.” The records alone indicated just how aggressive the animal population was, but after that night stuck in that house with Marley, Roland realized just how dangerous Langley’s job really was.

He slowly stirred the sauce in the pot to keep it from coagulation and listened as Kaden spoke. It brought Roland joy to know that Langley found his job enriching. There wasn’t much room to move up within the department, but pay raises came based on performances and he’d love to hear any ideas Kaden had to help improve the department. “I’m glad you enjoy your job. From what I’ve seen, you’re good at it,” he said truthfully. He took a taste of the sauce and it wasn’t bad. Wasn’t great, but was definitely a step up from a Lean Cuisine. “Mm,” he started, “Definitely an improvement. But in all seriousness, if there’s any changes or efforts you’d like to implement within the department, let me know. I can put in a good word and help push things forward.”

“Sure have. There’s something to be said for stability though. Everywhere’s a little different, it’s good to travel, but it’s nice to have a home.” At least that was what Kaden imagined. White Crest was starting to feel more like a home than any place had in a long time. Lyon, sure, but that was  a long time ago. And even then. Kaden tried to hold back a laugh at the second part. Sarge has no idea how right he was that not just anyone could make it as an animal control officer in White Crest. Hell it took a literal hunter. And even then. “Thanks, though. Definitely glad you ended up here, too. Even if you’re probably way too good for this small town force.” He took a moment to taste Roland’s sauce. Not bad. “Add a little salt.”

At Roland’s offer, Kaden paused and his head tilted in thought. His sauce was all but forgotten for a moment. Did Sarge really trust him? Have faith that he knew what he was doing enough to-- “You’d do that?” was all he could manage to ask. He wasn’t even remotely sure how to feel about it. The only job anyone ever trusted him to do and do well was hunting. Hell, it was the only long term position he’d ever really held. “I always worry I’m screwing up more than not or that-- I don’t know.” That he wasn’t good enough. “I know I keep saying it but, thanks. I mean that. I’ll, uh, I’ll think on it.” A brief pause and a million thoughts flooded into his mind. “I mean I already know we need some more help I think. I know it’s a small town but even another part time officer on shift would help a lot. And, uh, maybe more snare poles. Stronger ones. Sturdier cages. And an outreach program to educate people on what to do wh--” In all his excitement and ideas, Kaden almost forgot the sauce. And that he needed to keep stirring. “Putain!” It was darker than he wanted. “Oh well, still better than a lean cuisine. I’m sure I can save it somehow. Yours looks pretty good, though. Good job. I think you’re getting the hang of it.”

“I get that,” Roland responded as he continued to stir the sauce. He wasn’t so sure if White Crest felt like home, especially not after what happened with Erin. It seemed to only reaffirm the notion that he was supposed to be alone in the world. It would inevitably make it easier. He had no disillusions about how he’d go out. The risks were apparent when he first joined the force so many years ago and even more so after his father died in the line of duty. He supposed he did feel a sense of responsibility for the community. Did that make somewhere home? He didn’t want to recall the last time anywhere felt like home. Instead, he’d take his sauce only needing a touch more of salt as a victory. He added a dash of sauce and mixed it in before giving it another taste. “I think that may be spot on now.”

Roland wasn’t sure why what he said to Langley came as a surprise. He believed in helping good workers grow and important departments expand. In this town, Animal Control was vital. What he and Stryder had seen in that house only proved that belief. “Of course,” he answered, “I wouldn’t have said it if I hadn’t meant it. You do good work and I’ve seen some of the more aggressive animals in this town. Your work is a vital part of public safety, If you have any ideas to improve that, I want to hear them and help make them happen.” He’d meant it. When Kaden started to excitedly list ideas, he couldn’t help but smile as he continued to stir his sauce. That kind of passion for the job was something he loved seeing, even if it wasn’t necessarily his department. A safer community meant the whole station was doing their job. He made a mental list of everything Kaden said. “More snare poles, but stronger. Sturdier cages. I’ll have to run the idea of another part time officer by the department head, but I’ll see if I can have some pull in that. Those all sound like good ideas, Langley.” He was a bit amused that Kaden had messed up his sauce and shook his head. “You may have gotten a bit distracted, but I think you know what you’re doing well enough to fix it. I’m pretty happy with mine. Definitely better than Lean Cuisine.”

“Right, yeah, of course.” Kaden was pretty sure the corners of his mouth were turning up into a smile. This was stupid. He knew he did a better job than most animal control officers in the past and certainly better than Gary. He also had an advantage over most people trying for the job in this town. Still, it just, it wasn’t all that often that anyone told him he did a good job. His work was vital for public safety. It was something he knew but the acknowledgement from someone else, someone he respected; it felt better than he could have guessed. And it was for something he did that was normal. Well, alright, it still involved hunting, but it wasn’t all hunting. It was a lot of mundane stuff, too. And he loved it, even during the hard parts. And he didn’t suck at it. Normally he didn’t suck at cooking, either, but at least he had helped save Sarge from a lean cuisine. “You’re right. This is one thing I know how to fix.”

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

What the Water Gave Me

Happy holidays, @gryvon!  And thank you to @stetersecretsanta​ for putting this all together! 

You can also check it out here on AO3: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21876028

A run in with a rusalka leaves Detective Stiles Stilinski with a crippling fear of the water. And help comes from an unexpected quarter.

Or, that time Stiles hates Peter Hale, right up until he doesn't.

What the Water Gave Me

“I don’t like him,” Stiles says.

“I don’t even know why you think your opinion matters here, kiddo,” John replies as he tips a jar of salsa into a serving dish because, yeah, that’s about as classy as things get around chez Stilinski. “This is my weekly poker game, and I can invite whoever I damn well please.”

Stiles growls.

He’s not proud of it, but he growls.

“By the sound of that, I’m not the one who’s been spending too much time hanging out with werewolves,” John says. “And you and Derek…?”

“Are me and Derek what?” Stiles asks, and then mentally backpedals. “No, don’t answer that. Me and Derek have never been and are never going to be a thing, okay?”

Stiles and Derek are bros. There was some awkwardness there when Stiles was pubescent and drowning in hormones, but he’s over it now. He’s not sure that Derek ever will be, because at the same time Stiles was at the mercy of his raging hormones he was also at the mercy of his raging nascent spark, and he might have maybe magicked all of Derek’s clothes off him this one time. To be fair to Stiles, it was a total accident, but Derek’s never really forgiven him. To be fair to Derek, it was in Whole Foods.

Not all of Stiles’s memories of his spark in those formative years make him laugh. Magic is... magic can be terrifying. As someone who lives with it in his bones, Stiles would rather not dwell on that. It’s much easier to think of Derek’s pale naked ass and chortle.

But no, Stiles and Derek are bros. Stiles likes Derek. He does not like his asshole of an uncle, Peter, with his expensive suits, his smirk, and his habit of looking at Stiles like he’s some sort of interesting and slightly gross scientific specimen: Gentlemen, the dung beetle.

And it doesn’t help that Peter Hale is Beacon Hills’ foremost attorney. Defense attorney. How John can even bear to have him in the house is a total mystery to Stiles. Peter’s life’s work is literally to screw John. In a professional way, not a fun one, because ew. Point is, Peter is the enemy.

His dad should not be inviting the enemy to poker games.

John lifts an unimpressed eyebrow at the expression on Stiles’s face. “Son, while you’re living under my roof—”

“Stop right there,” Stiles says, dragging a corn chip through the salsa. “I’m twenty-five years old, and the only reason I’m living under your roof is because you broke into my motel room and stole all my things.”

John snorts. “After I fought the cockroaches for them! That place was a fleapit, Stiles!”

“I had an aesthetic going on!”

He did, too. He was a weary jaded detective, all hard-bitten cynicism and jagged edges, living in the gutter and staring bleakly into the void while he listened to slow jazz on his phone. It was very emotive. Very noir. He’d been considering taking up smoking.

“An aesthetic? You had a fungal infection!”

Okay, so that’s technically true. But when Stiles had applied for the newly created detective’s position in the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department after a few years in Sacramento, he was adamant that he would be coming back as an independent adult. Apparently though, that was not negotiable once his dad actually saw where he was living. So here he is, back living in his dad’s house like he’s a kid all over again, and although it’s nice not to have to worry about dying of cholera or whatever else was lurking in that motel, it hasn’t been without friction.

Like tonight, for example.

“How about this, then?” John asks, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “I don’t pull the ‘while you’re living under my roof ‘card and—”

“Deal!”

John fixes him with a challenging stare. “And you don’t tell me which friends I can invite over for poker night?”

Dammit. Stiles knows when he’s been stymied.

In a final act of petty revenge, he grabs the chips and salsa and flees upstairs.

He eats them in his childhood bedroom with the lights off, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling that he put there when he was eight and listening to Dad and his friends—including Peter Hale—laughing and talking downstairs.

It’s no good.

Even Miles Davis and his Blue Moods album are never going to get Stiles’s fledgling noir aesthetic back now, are they?

The Yoda plushie on Stiles’s bookshelf gives him a look of wry agreement.

***

Stiles is the first detective in the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department to be Supernatural Certified. That means he knows his weird shit, basically, and has done the courses to prove it. It means that whenever a case can’t be explained away by the usual measures, it lands on his desk. Which means, in a town with a nemeton close by, that Stiles gets a hell of a lot of overtime. It’s routine stuff mostly, and not at all as dangerous as his dad worries. Most supernaturals are just regular people, after all, with a little extra going on, and Stiles can hold his own with a spark as strong as his. The long hours he works are great for the student debt he came out of school with, but not so great for his social life. As in, apart from catching up with Derek a few times a week for coffee, Stiles doesn’t have a social life.

Derek’s eyebrows judge him on a Tuesday morning as Stiles pours what might be an entire cup of sugar into his coffee.

“Look,” Stiles says, “I’m not saying I hate Peter, but why does he have to be such a smug asshole?”

“Weird,” Derek says and sips his tea. “He says the same thing about you.”

Stiles jolts. Peter talks about him? But also, wait. “He says I’m a smug asshole?”

Derek considers for a moment. “No, he says you’re a little asshole.”

“I’m not even smug?” Stiles gasps. “Does he think I’m not smart enough to be smug? I can be smug, Derek!”

“I am aware.”

Stiles glares at his coffee.

Peter Hale is the first werewolf he ever met. Well, not the first, since he’s known all the Hales forever, but he’s the first one he ever saw shift. Before that, werewolves existed for Stiles conceptually, but only like, say, Iceland did. It was a thing, and Stiles knew about it, but he’d never actually figured it was something he’d have to deal with on a daily basis. All that snow and herring, ugh.  

Anyway, when Stiles was twelve and his spark manifested for the first time and some bad shit happened—there may have been explosions involved—suddenly a rampaging, slavering beast was charging right at him, tackling him to the ground while he screamed and the world erupted into flames around him.

And then, just when Stiles thought he was going to die, the rampaging, slavering beast turned into a naked man—which Stiles would like to point out was disturbing on a whole new level—and yelled, “Are you trying to burn down the whole fucking forest?”

And that was how Stiles found out that Peter—and all of the Hales—were werewolves.

He wasn’t brought into the circle of trust so much as he accidentally incinerated his way into it, because while people nowadays know that the supernatural is real, most supernatural beings prefer to keep their status to themselves.

Stiles has a bunch of files on his desk relating to what he suspects is hunter activity that show exactly why that’s still the case.

He tips more sugar into his coffee. “Anyway, how’s the rest of the pack?”

Derek’s resting bitch face softens into a smile. “Good. Cora and her girlfriend are thinking of moving back to the States. And Laura is expecting again.”

“Again?” Stiles blinks. “That woman is a baby machine!”

“And if you call her that,” Derek begins.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stiles says. “My throat, her teeth, I know. What is this now though? Baby three?”

“And four,” Derek says. “Twins.”

“Jesus.” Stiles says. “We definitely need to take Patrick out drinking. Like in commiseration or something.”

“You mean in congratulation.”

“With twins on the way? I know what I mean.”

Derek raises his eyebrows. “You know, some functioning adults actually treat children as a good thing.”

Stiles wrinkles his nose. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Derek says. “Maybe when you’re a functioning adult, you’ll understand.”

“Excuse you!”

Derek quirks a brow. “How’s Yoda?”

Stiles glares at him, and drinks his sugary sludge.

***

Stiles is halfway through lunch, brushing fallen lettuce from his burger off his open case files, when Tara leans into the bullpen. “Stiles? Hale’s here to see you.”

“Good,” Stiles says, leaping up and barging toward the door to the foyer. “He owes me an apology for this mor—”

It’s not Derek.

Of course it’s not. It’s Peter Hale, looking smug and sharp in a suit that probably cost more than what Stiles still owes in student debt. It’s pinstriped for fuck’s sake. Who wears pinstripes in Beacon Hills? Stiles is barely wearing a shirt with buttons. If it wasn’t for stupid regulations he’d be wearing a t-shirt. And his Converse.

“Detective Stilinski,” Peter Hale says smoothly, looking him up and down.

Stiles picks a piece of lettuce off his tie. “Mr. Hale.”

“I’d like to discuss a client with you.”

Stiles sighs, and holds the door open to let him through. He sets his burger down on his desk. “Which client?”

“Clare Stepanova,” Peter says.

Stiles rolls his eyes, grabs the file, and uses it to wave Peter Hale through to the nearest free interview room. He takes his burger too, because fuck it, he’s hungry.

Stiles takes a seat on one side of the table.

Peter takes one on the other side, and checks his reflection in the two-way glass. Does something to his already-immaculate hair, because he’s as vain as he is arrogant.

Stiles rolls his eyes and flips open the file on Clare Stepanova.

Clare Stepanova. Twenty-one years old—though Stiles doubts that—absolutely gorgeous, and a mouth on her like a Prussian sailor. Stiles wasn’t her arresting officer, but he definitely remembers being shocked by her language when Tara hauled her out the back to the cells. And it takes a lot of language to shock Stiles. Still, at least her curses weren’t literal. Stiles knows they could have been.

“Now how did Clare Stepanova afford an attorney like you?” he asks, leaning back in his chair.

“She has wealthy parents,” Peter says.

Stiles snorts. “No, she doesn’t.”

“Well, she has wealthy people who call themselves her parents, and were able to pay my retainer,” Peter says.

Stiles eats the rest of his burger and folds his arms over his chest. “What do you want?”

“I want you, as a Supernatural Certified detective, to go over her file.”

Stiles nods down at it. “Already did.”

“Then you’re aware that this isn’t a regular case.”

“Bullshit,” Stiles says. “She’s not a regular collar, but this is sure as shit a regular case. This isn’t a newly-bitten beta wolfing out on a full moon and breaking indecent exposure laws, or some wendigo kid slipping up and eating the neighbor’s cat. Clare Stepanova has no biological imperative to walk out of Sephora with $600 worth of cosmetics shoved down her jeans. Her being a rusalka has no bearing on this case.”

“Ah,” Peter says, his eyes lighting up for a moment.

“You didn’t know?”

“I got the vague impression of water,” Peter says. “Your spark has come a long way, it seems, now that you have it under control. Finally.”

One of Stiles’s most useful and valuable skills is his spark-given ability to know exactly what supernaturals he’s dealing with at a glance.

Kevin from the grocery store: fae.

Mrs. Iravani from the library: peri.

Clare Stepanova: rusalka.

Peter Hale: asshole.

“I would have expected,” Peter continues, “someone with a spark to have a little more empathy to the supernatural.”

Peter Hale: asshole.

Peter Hale: Grade A asshole.

“I have plenty of empathy,” Stiles says. “But until you can prove to me that rusalki need three different types of top-of-the-line lipstick and a bunch of other overpriced glittery shit to live, then I’m afraid I’m going to reserve that empathy for people who actually need it.”

Peter smiles slightly.

“I think we’re done here,” Stiles says. “I have reports to get back to, and you have to go and break it to your client that she’s shit out of luck.” He closes the file and rises from his chair. “Have fun with that, I guess.”

Peter doesn’t even have the decency to look slightly miffed at his wasted trip.

***

Stiles spends the rest of the afternoon writing a recommendation to the DA’s office for dropping charges in a case against a wiccan who was going sky-clad under the full moon last month. Mrs. McIntyre isn’t technically a supernatural—she has as much magic in her as you’d expect from your average elementary school teacher—so she doesn’t necessarily fall under Stiles’s purview, but she’s sixty-eight years old, never had as much as a parking ticket, and Stiles has incredibly fond memories of her back from when she was his third grade teacher.

It’s late when he gets out of work.

John has already left and gone home, but he sends Stiles a text asking him to pick up some milk, so Stiles swings by the gas station on the way home. He parks away from the pumps, wanders in to get the milk and whatever Skittles happen to catch his eye—four different packets do—and then heads outside again.

And steps immediately into a puddle.

Stiles groans and looks down. He doesn’t remember that puddle being there when he walked inside, and it’s not raining so where—

The water glistens in the light like an oil slick, and Stiles can’t tear his gaze away.

For a second he watches the colours, mesmerised, and then the truth of it hits him.

He can’t tear his gaze away.

He doesn’t want to, but also he literally fucking can’t.

His chest squeezes as fear grips him. He hears footsteps behind him, but he can’t tear his gaze away.

Feels soft, cool fingertips brush his cheek, but he can’t tear his gaze away.

He drops the milk and Skittles.

Feels the tickle of her hair against his face as she leans in, and he can’t tear his gaze away.

His phone. He needs…

He can’t make his hands move.

She smells like fresh water, like nature, like a cold, clear stream he wants to drown himself in.

“Hello again, Detective Stilinski,” she says.

Stiles stares at the colors in the puddle, and he can’t tear his gaze away.

And then her hands are covering his eyes, and everything goes black.

***

It’s dark when Stiles blinks away again.

He’s…

He squints into the gloom, but he doesn’t know where he is. He’s cold and wet.

He’s…

He’s been stripped down to his underwear, and he’s lying in about an inch or two of water. There are rough bricks underneath him, and…

Is he in a cellar?

He might be in a cellar. There’s a crack of light some distance away that might be a door? If it is, it’s some distance away and also higher than Stiles is, so he guesses there are stairs. It’s too dark to make them out though. There doesn’t appear to be any other light source.

Stiles shifts slightly, and the water tickles him.

It’s cold. Not shiver-to-death cold, but cold enough that hypothermia might become an issue. Does the light from under the door mean it’s daylight up there? When the temperature drops at night, the cold is definitely going to be a problem. If he lives that long.

If it’s daylight up there, has he already been here an entire night?

Dad must be looking for him then. Dad, and every cop from the station.

Stiles’s hand goes instinctively for his phone in his pocket, and only brushes against naked skin.

Underwear only, right.

He closes his eyes, not that it makes much difference, and reaches for his spark. It’s always there are the core of him, both hidden behind and intrinsically bound to his heartbeat. It’s—Stiles knows it sounds lame as fuck, but he’s always thought of it as his soul. Something uniquely him, but also something that’s not bound to his physical form. His spark encompasses so much more than bone and muscle and meat and, Stiles likes to think, it will last longer than those things too.

He finds it shining warmly behind his breastbone and he focuses on it.

If he can summon it, he can use it to—

And then the cold water is lapping at his skin, higher and higher, and Stiles opens his mouth to suck in a breath but he gets a mouthful of water instead. It rushes down his throat, suddenly a torrent.

Stiles flings himself upright, coughing and hacking, wiping at his mouth with his shaking hands.

The water recedes again, sliding down his skin like an icy caress. It leaves a shiver in its wake that Stiles feels through to his bones.

He doesn’t reach for his spark again.

***

“Hello again, Detective Stilinski,” Clare Stepanova says for the third time, or maybe the fourth, as Stiles chokes and coughs and tries to clear his lungs.

The water rises when she speaks, like tides pulled to the moon. And she’s beautiful, so beautiful, but she won’t let the water take him. He’s cold and he’s weak and he wants to sleep, wants to stop fighting the heaviness in his lungs, but she won’t let him go. She draws the water out of him with a flick of her wrist, her gold hair gleaming like moonlight in the gloom, and then she smiles and commands the water to drown him again.

The weight in his lungs is like lead. His head throbs. His chest aches. His heartbeat turns sluggish.

And then she pulls him back.

“Hello again, Detective Stilinski.”

Five times now, maybe six.

***

He’s lying on the floor, staring into the gloom. The water laps at his ears but he hasn’t got the strength to move. He’s going to die here. Every breath is harder than the last. Every one sounds like the wheeze of squeaky bellows. He’s going to drown in two inches of freezing water. He’s cold, he thinks, but he can no longer feel it. And his spark, that part of him he always thought of as indestructible, flickers on and off like a faulty lightbulb.

The water creeps up him again, icy fingers climbing his clammy skin, and a hot tear leaks out of the corner of Stiles’s eye and slides down his temple.

He’s going to die here.

And when the door crashes open and Stiles is blinded by the sudden blazing light, he thinks, for a moment, that’s what’s happened. And then there’s a dark shape moving down the stairs, and footsteps splashing toward him, and the roar of a werewolf fills the cellar room, and Stiles passes out.

***

“No,” John says firmly as Stiles blinks awake. He covers Stiles hand in his, and draws it away from the scratchy thing in his nose. “That’s your oxygen, kiddo. You need to leave that alone.”

Stiles squints at him.

His dad looks tired; about as tired and wrung out as Stiles feels right now. He’s sitting in a chair beside Stiles’s hospital bed, and he’s wearing a uniform that looks at least three days old, judging by the creases and what look like coffee stains down the shirt. His stubble’s about three days old too, and grayer than it should be.

Stiles pulls in a wheezing breath.

“You had pulmonary edema,” Dad says. “They’ve drained the water from your lungs, but you also have pneumonia, so that’s what’s causing you some issues now. You’re gonna be in here for a few more days before they’ll let me take you home.”

It’s a lot to take in, especially since Stiles can’t even remember for sure how he got here. His brow creases. “Clare?”

The name comes out like a croak.

John’s expression hardens into one of grim satisfaction. “Dead.”

Stiles tries to summon up a bit of feeling for that, but he’s mostly numb. Also, he’s mostly astonished that she was prepared to kill a cop over a shoplifting charge, but that’s the way of it with some supernaturals, isn’t it? Especially the old ones. Centuries of feeling superior to mundane and mortal humans tends to result in more than a few egotists who don’t see why they should be bound by human laws. Like vampires, for example. Total assholes who think they’re better than everyone else just because they saw Beethoven live in concert or whatever. Vampires are the fucking worst. Well, at least they were the worst, but for the record Stiles is going to shift rusalki up to the top of the list now.

He thinks back to the cellar. “Werewolf?”

John squeezes his hand and nods. “Peter.”

Stiles feels a jolt of surprise at that. For some reason he’d thought Derek, mostly because Derek is his best friend and has always had his back. Or maybe angry Talia, because she loves him like a mother. But Peter? Clare’s defense attorney Peter? Clare’s defense attorney Peter who thinks Stiles is a little asshole? Yeah, that’s definitely out of left field.

“The pack was tracking you the whole time,” John says. “Turns out that rusalki can hide scents. Who knew, huh?”

Well, Stiles knew. He’s done the course. But now isn’t really the time to bring it up.

“Anyway,” John continues, “Peter figured it might have been Clare, so he set up a meeting to talk about her case, and followed her after that. He was supposed to wait for backup, but, well…” He grimaces. “Apparently you didn’t have that much time left.”

Stiles sucks in another wheezing breath. “Wait… won’t he get in trouble? With the Bar Association or something?”

“Oh, son,” John says, and his mouth quirks. “If you think Peter Hale gives a flying fuck about the Bar Association, you really don’t know him at all. Besides, attorney client privilege doesn’t cover crimes in progress.”

He nods, and a rush of dizziness leaves him with black spots in his vision.

“Careful,” John says, with mild rebuke in his tone like Stiles has just tried to run a marathon, not nod. “You need to take it easy, kiddo.”

“Yeah,” Stiles rasps, and feels a sudden prick of tears in his eyes. He doesn’t even know why. He’s just… it’s all been too much, he guesses. Clare Stepanova tried to kill him, and he didn’t even fight back. He’s never had that happen before. And he knows it was because he was in her thrall, and he knows it wasn’t his fault, but he still hates that he made it so easy for her. Stiles has always been a fighter, oftentimes against all advice to the contrary, and it’s terrifying how Clare just shut down that part of him. Like it was nothing. Like he was nothing.

Stiles was supposed to be stronger than that, smarter than that. He feels as helpless now as he did when the water was rushing into his lungs.

John squeezes his hand again, and Stiles summons up a weak smile for him.

And then Derek turns up with a massive blue teddy bear wearing an It’s a boy! ribbon from the hospital gift shop.

“You can put it with your Yoda,” he says, glowering at Stiles like Stiles’s near-death experience has personally offended him.

“I love it,” Stiles says, his voice still rasping, and opens his arms for a hug.

Both his dad and Derek get in there, and Stiles closes his eyes and feels warm again for the first time in days. And he wonders where Peter is right now.  

***

It’s four days before Stiles is allowed to go home. He curls up in a blanket on his dad’s couch, and doesn’t move for hours. He stares unblinkingly at the television until John makes him move into the kitchen for dinner. Then, after they’ve eaten, John herds Stiles upstairs and toward the bathroom.

“You stink, kiddo,” John says.

“Way to pull your punches, Dad.”

“Get cleaned up and get in bed,” John tells him. “I’ll bring you your meds.”

Stiles shuts the bathroom door and strips off. Steps into the shower and…

He can’t turn the tap. The thought of water on skin is…

He can’t.

And he knows he should. He knows his dad is right. He stinks. And he knows the steam from a hot shower will be good for his pneumonia. But he just can’t bring himself to do it.

He steps back out of the shower and crouches down in front of the bathroom sink instead. Ferrets around in the cabinet until he finds a bunch of wipes, and cleans himself with those instead.

He’ll shower tomorrow.

***

Three days later, and Stiles is out of wipes. His skin is greasy, and his hair is an oily mess. He’s also got a gross scraggly excuse for a beard, but he can’t bring himself to shave. Not even when the blast of water in the kitchen sink, or the trickle of it through the coffee machine is enough to make him freeze up. He’s pretty sure they can smell him all the way downtown, because there’s only so much that deodorant can do. Spoiler alert: not much.

“Poker night tonight,” John says. “Want to join us?”

Stiles pokes his spoon at his cereal. “I’m good.”

John’s face is creased with worry. “Stiles,” he says, “what’s going on, kid? You’re…”

Decaying, Stiles thinks. Moldering. Something.

“Not yourself,” John finishes. “Do you need to talk to someone? A professional?”

“I’m tired,” Stiles says. “Once I get over the pneumonia, I’ll bounce back.”

John holds his gaze for a long moment, and then nods.

Stiles knows better than to think his dad is letting this go though. The Stilinskis are a stubborn bunch.

He waves his dad off to work, and dozes on the couch for most of the day. He’s jolted awake sometime in the afternoon when the door opens and footsteps tread down the hallway.

“Good lord,” Peter Hale says, looking at where Stiles is nesting like a rat on the couch, surrounded by blankets and junk food wrappers. “You smell like you’ve been dead for a month.”

Stiles grunts and shows him his middle finger. “Thanks for rescuing me.”

“Please,” Peter says. “Your father and Derek would have been on my case for eternity if I hadn’t ripped that bitch’s throat out.” He grins and shows his teeth.

“Well, thanks anyway.” Stiles feels a sudden thrill at the thought of Peter wolfing out over him, and pretends he doesn’t. “How did you get in here anyway? Do you have a key?”

Peter raises his eyebrows. “As though I’d need a key.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. Peter is such an asshole.

Peter strides over to him, and wrenches his blankets off. “Come on. You’re a mess, and your father’s worried about you. So is the pack.”

Stiles allows himself to be bullied all the way upstairs and into the bathroom. He baulks when he sees the shower.

“Peter, I…” He can’t finish the sentence. He can’t admit his fear, even when he knows it’s etched into his skin, and written into every expression. Even when he knows he literally reeks of it.

“Shirt off,” Peter says. “And then sit on the edge of the bath for me.”

Peter’s no-nonsense tone is easy to obey, and it gives Stiles something to rail against. He’s grateful for both those things as he pulls his shirt off and grumbles about overbearing asshole werewolves getting all up in his business, and this is bullshit, Peter, bullshit.

The blast of water in the sink makes his blood run cold and freezes the words in his throat.

Peter squeezes out the washcloth under the tap, and then grabs the bar of soap from the shower stall. When he turns back to face Stiles, his expression is grim.

“I thought you were a corpse,” he says. “When I found you in that cellar. I could barely hear your heartbeat.”

Stiles hunches over and looks away.

Peter crouches down in front of him. He takes Stiles wrist in his hand, and draws his arm out straight. Stiles shivers when Peter drags the warm washcloth from his shoulder to his wrist. “You scared me, Stiles.”

There’s no hint of rebuke in his tone. There’s only something softer than that; an admission, not an accusation.

“Scared me too,” Stiles murmurs.

Peter scrubs the soap along the washcloth, and then drags the cloth down Stiles’s arm again, leaving foamy bubbles in its wake. “So scared you can’t even face the thought of a shower?” He pinches the skin on the back of Stiles’s hand, and the mark doesn’t vanish. “So scared you’re letting yourself go dehydrated?”

Stiles nods, his eyes stinging with shame and helplessness.  

“She’s dead,” Peter says, his blue eyes shining. “She’s dead, and she can’t hurt you now.”

“I know,” Stiles rasps. “I know that, but…”

“But you don’t feel it,” Peter says, and hums slightly. “You know what you need, Stiles?”

“A therapist?”

“Well, possibly.” Peter smiles slightly. “But in the meantime would you settle for an amoral and slightly sociopathic werewolf by your side who’d tear out the hearts of your enemies if they even looked at you sideways?”

Stiles should be embarrassed at how long it takes him to get that. “But you hate me.”

“Nonsense,” Peter says, and swipes the washcloth over Stiles’s collarbone. “You are the thorn in my side and the pebble in my shoe, Stiles, but I’ve never hated you.”

“Really?”

“Do you think I break into the houses of people I hate and give them sponge baths?”

Stiles blinks. “No. That would be weird. I mean, this is weird enough, but that would be super weird.”

Peter’s laugh is low and full of warmth. He rises to rinse the washcloth out, and then he’s back, lifting Stiles’s other arm up and washing it gently. Stiles feels almost dizzy at the touch. He feels weak and helpless, but a part of him melts into this too. The part of him that wants to be cared for, wants to be allowed to need this without judgement.

Stiles is pretty sure he’ll judge himself harshly enough for this at a later date, but that’s a problem for future Stiles.

He closes his eyes and lets it happen. Drifts for a while on the feeling of being looked after.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Peter says softly. “Take the rest off.”

It should be humiliating, probably, but Stiles is floating from Peter’s touches, so he lifts his hips and lets Peter pull his sweatpants down and off. The hospital sponge baths were perfunctory and clinical; this is not. This feels almost like an act of quiet worship, and Stiles might be drunk on it.

“Good boy,” Peter murmurs, and Stiles melts a little more.

He’s zoned out enough that he can almost pretend the careful swipe of the warm washcloth over his dick and balls doesn’t happen. Almost. But by the time he jolts and his eyes flash open, Peter has already moved on to his thighs. He finishes up at Stiles’s feet, and Stiles toes curl at the slight tickle.

Peter smiles up at him, and then stands. “Now how about your hair, sweetheart? You look like a weasel dipped in oil.”

Stiles snorts. There’s the asshole he knows and… knows. There’s the asshole he knows, period, full stop, and nothing further to add.

Peter’s expression turns serious. “It needs a wash, Stiles. Do you think you could handle some water through it, if I’m here?”

Stiles’s heartbeat quickens, and he’s afraid that it he so much as blinks he’ll be back in that cellar, water rushing into his throat and drowning his screams.

“I have an idea,” Peter says, and then disappears from the bathroom. He’s back a moment later, wheeling Stiles’s computer chair with him. “Let’s do this salon style.”

He flings a clean pair of sweatpants at Stiles, and Stiles climbs into them. Then he sits on the chair, and Peter wheels it back toward the sink. It’s not quite the right height, but Peter pillows a rolled-up towel under the back of his neck, and folds a dry washcloth over his forehead.

“I’ll do my best to keep the water off your face, hmm?”

Stiles nods. He wants to close his eyes, but he doesn’t dare.

It’s… it’s not as bad as he was afraid it would be. The tickle of water on his scalp makes his skin crawl, and makes him want to leap out of the chair, but Peter works quickly and calmly, and his fingers massage Stiles’s scalp deftly.

“What do you know about this Braeden person?” he asks.

“Which Braeden person?”

“The incredibly attractive and intimidating woman that Derek has fallen head over heels for,” Peter says. “I like her, but on the other hand I feel like I shouldn’t approve.”

“Because she’s very possibly a mercenary?” Stiles asks curiously.

“No, I think that’s hilarious,” Peter says. “You should see Talia’s face! I just feel like I shouldn’t approve because, well, I like to make Derek squirm.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Stiles says.

Peter catches a trickle of water before it escapes the washcloth on Stiles’s forehead. “He’s my nephew. It’s my job.”

“It’s really not.”

Peter shrugs. “Well, we’ll agree to disagree. Now, want me to attack that abomination you call a beard? No water, sweetheart. Just shaving cream and a washcloth.”

Stiles nods warily. “Just… just keep talking, okay?”

Peter smirks. “I’m a lawyer, Stiles. That was never going to be an issue.”

***

When it’s done, all of Stiles’s doubts and insecurities come rushing back in. He’s clean and he’s shaved, but at what cost? Peter Hale saw him naked, and not just naked, but a whole other level of nakedness than Stiles is comfortable with. Peter didn’t just see his skin; he saw his vulnerability. Somehow Stiles knows that’s the thing that’s going to be hardest to reconcile.

He sits on his bed and stares out the window, and wonders if tomorrow he’ll be able to actually brave a shower, or if he’s going to be scared of water for the rest of his life. Which would be fine, if it was swimming in the stuff. But showering? Doing the laundry? Hydrating? These aren’t optional activities.

Stiles sighs, and grabs his laptop off his desk, and queues up an episode of Star Trek. Why aren’t sonic showers a thing yet? They need to be a thing.

The knock on his door doesn’t really surprise him.

“Come in, Peter.”

Peter opens the door. He’s holding a glass of orange juice.

“Shouldn’t you be downstairs playing poker with my dad and all his friends?”

Peter ignores the question and sits next to Stiles. He sets the orange juice down on his bedside table. “I think you and I got off on the wrong foot, Stiles.”

“What, when you broke into my house without a key?” Stiles grouses.

“No,” Peter says. “When you were a twelve-year-old with a newly manifested spark, and I scared the hell out of you.”

Stiles feels the faint echo of that fear as he thinks back to that day. And what a hell of a day it was. “To be fair, I was exploding the forest at the time.”

Peter nods. “True. But still, I feel that being lunged at by a werewolf was probably quite traumatizing.”

“It was actually more traumatizing when I saw your dick,” Stiles says. “Werewolves, that was totally out of left field. But naked men jumping on me? Dad had warned me about how dangerous those were.”

Peter’s eyebrows do something complicated. It’s a Hale trait. “You thought I was a child molester?”

“Not for long! But, in my defense, you were a naked man who jumped on me. I was twelve, Peter. There wasn’t a lot of nuanced thought involved!”

“Well,” Peter says at last, “When it comes to nakedness, I suppose that we’re even now after today, sweetheart, aren’t we?”

There’s a strange weight in the air as Stiles avoids Peter’s gaze, and he thinks it’s all in the way he just said the word ‘sweetheart’. Usually Peter uses the word like it’s a sharp weapon, but now—and ever since he walked into the house this afternoon, if Stiles is honest—there’s no barb in the word at all. It sounds almost…

Almost real.

“Peter,” he asks cautiously, lifting his gaze again, “do you like me?”

“Yes,” Peter says.

“I mean, not because I’m pack adjacent, and Derek’s best friend, and Talia refers to me as the son she always wanted, but like-like, like—”

“Jesus Christ, Stiles,” Peter says, and rolls his eyes. “Yes.”

This is the part where they should fall into a kiss, right? Stiles reaches for Peter, only to find a splayed hand on his chest.

“Nu-uh-uh,” Peter says. “Not until you drink your juice, sweetheart.”

Well, Stiles guesses, there’s some incentive.

He drinks his juice.

***

Stiles narrows his eyes at the bottle of water on his desk. He’s been back at work for three days now, and he’s mostly a lot better, but still not a total fan of this whole hydration business. It’s a shitty thing to develop a trigger over, but he’s working on it. He’s downloaded an app on his phone that reminds him when to drink, so he’s no longer got an excuse to avoid it. Also, his therapist prescribed him a shitload of Ativan, so that’s pretty sweet.

“Stiles?” Tara calls from the door. “Hale’s here to see you.”

Stiles leaps up from his desk, anticipation bubbling through him. Peter promised to bring him lunch, and he’s been counting down the minutes. Not because he gives a fuck about the new fusion place on Third that Peter’s been raving about, but because, well, Peter. Peter has been visiting Stiles every day, both at work and at home, checking that he’s functioning. They’ve got into a weird pattern now where when Stiles showers, Peter sits in the bathroom and talks to him. It should feel humiliating, but it doesn’t. And Peter isn’t even a jerk about it. He’s still a jerk about everything else, but, well, that’s Peter. It turns out that there’s just a lot more to him than that asshole exterior. As embarrassing as it is to admit it, Stiles might actually be in love.

Ugh. He has taste in his ass.

But so does Peter, probably, so it all works out.

And frankly, Stiles can’t wait for the day when showering with Peter means something a whole lot more sexy than their current arrangement.

He wrenches the door open. “Hey, Peter, I—motherfucker.”

Derek blinks at him.

“It’s always the wrong Hale,” Stiles says. “Every damn time.” He plasters on a smile. “Hey, Der-bear. It is great to see you!”

“Clearly,” Derek deadpans. “Anyway, Mom wanted me to remind you that it’s pack dinner this Friday, and she expects to see you there. And she said she’s making extra cookies so you can take a bunch home, and not try to smuggle them out in your pockets like last time.”

“She can’t prove that ever happened.”

“Stiles, your jeans smelled like chocolate for days. You should do your laundry more often.”

“You’re not actually supposed to wash your jeans after every wear.”

Derek raises his eyebrows. “You are if they have chocolate in the pockets.”

“Point,” Stiles admits.

“See you Friday,” Derek says, and claps him on the shoulder before leaving.

Stiles heads back inside to the bullpen—and discovers Peter sitting at his desk, his fancy Italian ankle boots resting on Stiles’s open files. He’s eating something from a takeout container. It smells fucking orgasmic.

“How the hell did you get in here?” he demands. “Did you break into a police station?”

Peter smirks. “I brought you lunch, sweetheart. Let’s not quibble over the details of why, and how, and whether or not it’s really an indictable offence.”

“Someone let you in the back door, didn’t they?”

“Your father,” Peter admits. “I met him in the parking lot.”

Stiles leans his ass on his desk. “You’re such a dick,” he said fondly.

Peter shrugs, and nudges Stiles’s water bottle closer to him. “Takes one to know one.”

“Touché.” Stiles takes a sip of his water, trying not to grimace, and Peter rubs his knee gently in silent encouragement. Then Stiles steals his takeout and starts shoveling it into his mouth. “When I finish this, want to go make out in the file room?”

“Sweetheart,” Peter says with a broad grin, “I can’t think of a better way to spend my day.”

And how weird is Stiles’s life now? Because it turns out that neither can he. He wouldn’t say he’s grateful to Clare Stepanova—fuck that evil bitch—but Stiles knows that if he hadn’t been attacked, he and Peter would still be bitching about each other to their families, and snarking at each other when they met, and both of them dancing around the fact that maybe, just maybe, there was a spark of something between them that wasn’t sheer contempt. And, since they’re both such assholes, they would have died of old age before admitting it.

So there’s an upside, Stiles guesses. A crazy weird upside to being drowned repeatedly by a rusalka, and it turns out it’s the bastard of a werewolf pointedly nudging Stiles’s water bottle toward him again.

When Stiles had come back to Beacon Hills, he’d tried to like the idea of being alone. Romanticized it even, in that gross fleapit of a motel where he pretended to be a hard-bitten cynical film noir detective. But it turns out Stiles isn’t that kind of guy at all.

The corners of his mouth turn up as Peter nudges the water bottle against his thigh. Stiles picks it up and sips from it, and Peter makes a smug, satisfied noise.

It turns out it’s nice to be cared for after all.

[theprocrastinatingalien]

Casting The Batman

Director Matt Reeves said in a Q&A that he expects THE BATMAN to start production at the end of this year.  Now that's still quite a way off, but for that to happen a few things need to happen... like casting.

It's be confirmed that Ben Affleck has stepped away from the Batcave, and we're now looking at a new actor putting on the cowl.

Firstly, we need to asses... is Reeves' Batflick part of the DCEU, or does it stand aside, like the upcoming JOKER movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, despite the fact Jared Leto is expected to carry on as the Clown Prince of Crime within the shared universe.

Why is this important?  Well, Whilst Affleck is going off, that doesn't mean the supporting characters have to change cast, especially if it's in the shared universe.   Particular roles are in place.  Jeremy Irons as played Alfred in two movies now, and JK Simmons popped up in the JUSTICE LEAGUE as Commissioner James Gordon.   Either of those actors could continue.  Even if this movie is in the past.  Sure a younger actor in either part may make sense, but CAPTAIN MARVEL just proved you can do a whole film with nifty de-aging effects (Samuel L Jackson's Nick Fury).

Whilst I will, naturally, look towards who could be cast in supporting (and villainous) roles, right now we're going to focus on the big issue.  Who should play Batman?

Below are a list of different actors who I've seen suggested, or am suggesting myself, that could end up as the next Dark Knight. I've included a variety of ages too... just covering the bases.

KARL URBAN

This one was an obvious inclusion. Before Affleck was announced, Urban was my (and seemingly half the internet) top choice.  Probably best known currently as Dr McCoy in the new age STAR TREK movies, he also appeared as DREDD, and more recently played Skurge in THOR: RAGNAROK over in the MCU.  He's around the same age as Affleck (both born in 1972), so this would be more of a direct recast, but a popular one I believe.

ROBERT PATTINSON

Urg.  No.  This would annoy me... but a major rumour recently was that the TWILIGHT star was in talks for Bruce Wayne and his alter ego.  To be honest, it wouldn't be the WORST casting in the DCEU (Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, anyone?) and I would still give the guy a go.  It's just not a casting I'd be excited about. With Pattinson we'd have a Batman in his early 30s.

ARMIE HAMMER

The funny thing with this one... it was basically reported that Hammer had got the job.  The actor had to debunk the casting himself.  There's quite a fanbase for the actor to get this role, and to be fair, he had once been attached to a Batman role in the past, when he was cast as Bruce Wayne in a defunct JUSTICE LEAGUE movie.   Still, whilst the actor said nobody (in power) had talked to him, the media buzz may have brought him to the attention of Reeves... so I wouldn't rule out this casting entirely.   I'd certainly prefer it to Pattinson.  Both actors are the same actor as 32.

AIDAN TURNER

This Irish actor is very popular with the ladies (good for Bruce Wayne) and was a sheer highlight as vampire Mitchell in BEING HUMAN (the UK series)… He's currently the heartthrob lead in POLDARK, and was the heartthrob dwarf Kili in THE HOBBIT trilogy.   And whilst there probably has been a lot of onus on his looks, he just happens to be a really good actor, and in his mid 30s, I believe shouldn't be dismissed as a potential Batman (or Bond!).

TARON EGERTON

Now, this wouldn't be an ideal choice, but I'm throwing it in there.  Egerton's currently 29, so the youngest on my list at this point, and he's making quite a name for himself.  I think his best qualification for Batman is his role in the KINGSMAN franchise, but he also recently played ROBIN HOOD.  He's possibly a little on the short side for Batman, and whilst he has the physicality for the role, I don't think he's the best fit for Bruce Wayne.  However, I would definitely put him near the top of a NIGHTWING list.  As Dick Grayson does become Batman at some point, I thought it'd be fair to include him on here.

K J APA

Apa's the youngest person on this list at 21. If I'm honest, I'm not sure he quite has the charisma for Bruce Wayne, and he feels a little young for Bats, but that might be what Reeves is looking for.  Apa is Archie, the lead character in RIVERDALE, and he does get to play detective - which plays into comments Reeves has made.

KIT HARINGTON

Funnily enough, I was actually going to include Harington's onscreen brother Richard Madden, from GAME OF THRONES but I've switched it.  Harington certainly has the broody look down.  We all know how Batman likes to brood, and with GoT coming to an end, Kit's probably looking for a new high-profile acting gig.  THE BATMAN wouldn't be a bad way to go.  Not sure how people would take to this casting though, I'm not sure how the actor is perceived in the public eye. Agewise, he's inline with the likes of Pattinson and Hammer.

LIAM NEESON

I said, I'd be cover all the bases, and this one's going the other way, with an older actor. Liam Neeson is 66.   He's already been a part of the Batworld, featuring in THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy as villain R'as Al Ghul. But what if we turned that around and made him the big man himself.  Casting Zeus, Aslan and Qui-Gon Jinn as Batman works for me!

JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN

Okay, so this is not a clear-cut choice... but I'm throwing it out there anyway.  Morgan played Thomas Wayne in the opening scenes of BATMAN V SUPERMAN.   We know that there's an upcoming move (supposedly) based on FLASHPOINT, and in that, rather than Bruce becoming Batman, his father does instead.  What if the DCEU are clever and tie this alternative reality into the cast change... handing the cowl over to Morgan.  Personally I like it.  Recasting Batman without recasting Bruce Wayne.  Morgan is in his 50s, and currently plays the violent Negan in THE WALKING DEAD.

BRAD PITT

No, really.  Like Morgan, Pitt is in his 50's, but he's still got that good-looking, swagger (perfect for an aging Bruce), and he'd be a pretty commercial choice I think. Plus, Pitt is a pretty decent actor.  He'd be able to display a few different facets for the caped crusader, and might be able to channel that dark SEVEN vibe, tying in with Matt Reeves'  noir detective tale.

Now, I should probably start wrapping this list up.   I've already listed 10, but there's still two more I think deserve a mention.  One positive, one negative. 

JAKE GYLLENHAAL

Now, you're probably expecting Jake to be the positive, but no.  I do not like the idea of him playing Batman.  He's not right for the role.  So why am I including him now?   Gyllenhaal was a possible casting way back when Christian Bale was cast.  As were Joshua Jackson and Wes Bentley.   I'd actually rather Bentley get given the shot of any of them, but Jake gets the mention because apparently Matt Reeves may have his eye on him.   I'm not against JG as an actor, in fact I'm looking forward to his turn as Mysterio in SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME over at the MCU.  I just don't think he'd be *my* Batman if he were to be cast.

Which leaves us with...

OSCAR ISAAC

I saw Isaac's name pop up on another list, and you know what... I wouldn't mind it.  I wouldn't have thought of him myself,  He's half Guatemalan, half Cuban, which would add ethnicity to the character that had typically been played by straight up white American or Brits, with being as controversial as, say casting Idris Elba (who, incidentally has joined the DCEU as Deadshot, replacing Will Smith).  Isaac is suave enough to play Bruce, and intense enough to play Batman.  He's a good actor, and now has quite a following thanks to his part in the current STAR WARS trilogy.  Of the twelve candidates listed here, he's definitely up the top end for me.

It would have been quite easy to fall in with listing every dark-haired furrow-browed actor in Hollywood, but I tried to streamline the list a little.  Personally for me, my tick rests near Urban still, although I accept it's unlikely.   It's going to be interesting to see who they do go with in the end.  There was a lot of negativity against Affleck's casting, but I think most can agree he's been a highlight of the DCEU.

Whoever get's cast, will be filling the shoes of  Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale and Affleck.   Soon, I'll also be looking at the supporting cast - including an actor I almost included here as a potential Batman, but then realised I'd love to see him as a Riddler...

[kirain]

Indie Game Reviews

Hello, everyone! After I posted about the games I’ve platinumed I received a few asks about the Indie games I’ve played, so I figured: “Why not review my favourites?” Below is a list of Indie games I’ve played that I consider above average. Hopefully this list will help people decide if they’re worth playing or not. Keep in mind, though, that these are my opinions. If anyone would like to discuss the games further, please feel free to message me or send me another ask specifying the game you’re interested in. I’m always happy to discuss games. XD

Whispering Willows

Whispering Willows is like a throwback to the 90s computer games that we all loved and played when we were kids. With a spooky atmosphere and almost game board-ish feel, the story takes place on an old mansion property where a young girl named Elena Elkhorn must depend on her Native American roots to find her missing father. Switch between human and soul to solve puzzles, overcome obstacles, and attack enemies. Though a bit slow-paced, the story and gameplay are solid and definitely worth a try. 6/10

CounterSpy

CounterSpy is a fun little platformer that's almost comedic in nature. You play as a (possibly) British spy during the Cold War, who spies on the Russian and American forces to prevent nuclear detonation on both sides. The missions are pretty straight forward, with you shooting or sneaking your way through enemy territory to discover their plans of attack. If you fail to thwart them ... it's the end of the world! While it isn't really anything too special, its in-your-face 1970s James Bond style music and gameplay are entertaining as hell, and if you set it to the hardest difficulty, it is a fun challenge. I'd recommend it as a good time-waster. 6/10

Assemblance

Assemblance is a psychological first person thriller, where you play as a man who is forced to repeat a time paradox over and over until you figure out a way to move on. The story is subpar at best, but it's not terrible. The graphics are beautiful and very relaxing, as is the music. I've heard this game be described as a "mind fuck" too, but I'm not sure if I'd give it quite that much credit. Either way, it is a good game if you're looking for something to pass the time, and if you're looking for a light challenge. 6/10

Velocibox

Velocibox is a pure challenge game where you control a tiny square that zooms through various obstacle courses. It doesn't sound like much, but the levels can be extremely frustrating and the trophies are so hard to attain that they've only been awarded to a ridiculously small percentage of players-- we're talking hardcore gamers with no life (like me). If you're looking for a fun challenge, this is the game for you. 6/10

The Park

The Park is a first person, mostly cinematic horror game, where you play as a schizophrenic mother who chases her son through a theme park that she used to visit when she was a child. As you play, you begin to ask yourself if what you're seeing is real or if it's just the result of the mother's mental illness. There are a few jump scares and puzzles to solve, but all and all it's basically a horror movie, with a child so un-likable he makes you miss the boy from Babadook. The story is worth exploring, however, and the graphics and voice work are topnotch. I'd give it a chance, unless you scare easily. 6/10

Race the Sun

Race the Sun is a meticulous challenger game where you steer a tiny plane through an endless field of obstacles. The objective of the game, aside from collecting trophies, is to simply beat your own record before you crash or run down. You collect extra points by hitting rings, which eventually allows you to upgrade your plane for future levels. While I will admit that at first the game is fairly addictive, it can get a little boring. You can't memorize the fields because they change and randomize every 24 hours, which is a neat idea, but it still does little to keep players interested. But if you're looking for a decent challenge, then I highly recommend this game. Personally, I've come to use it as a fun time-waster while I download other games. 6.5/10

Everybody's Gone to the Rapture

Everybody's Gone to the Rapture is a story-based video game where you divulge the disappearance of an entire town. I wouldn't suggest this game to people who prefer action-packed shooters or tricky platformers, because aside from walking around and watching a beautiful cinematic story unfold, there isn't much else to do. Don't get me wrong, though; the game is still highly enjoyable. You play from a first person point of view and collect clues that give you insight to the missing townspeople. Each clue reveals a short story that helps you arrive at the conclusion, in the form of several astral projections. Aside from the creative story and stunning graphics, the voice acting is also incomparable. Definitely worth a play through if you're into cinematic game play. 6.5/10

The Unfinished Swan

The Unfinished Swan is a first person puzzle game where you play as a young orphaned boy named Monroe. The game is relaxing and wacky, as paint your way through various levels to help Monroe finish his recently deceased mother's favourite painting. As you play, a world of imagination unfolds, and the air of innocence reminds you what it was like to be a child. Definitely worth a try if you're looking for something light-hearted. 7/10

The Fall

The Fall is a puzzle platformer where you play as an advanced robotic spacesuit AI named Arid. The game begins with you crash-landing on a seemingly abandoned planet, with your pilot injured and unresponsive inside you. In order to save him, you search the planet for medical supplies, but soon find that the robotic inhabitants are dangerously malfunctioning. To save your pilot, you must succumb to several tests, forced on you by the head AI, and defeat an army of homicidal robots. The puzzles are fun and challenging, the story is wholly original, and the twist ending makes you think you're watching The Sixth Sense. If you're looking for an intelligent Sci-Fi Indie game, you're looking for The Fall. 7/10

White Night

White Night is a horror survival game where you play as an unnamed man who crashes outside of a haunted estate. Injured and in need of help, he hobbles to the mansion and breaks in, desperate when no one answers the door. Once inside the house, certain events transpire and horror ensues. I won't spoil the plot, but there is a twist ending and a story worth experiencing. The game has a very noir-type feel to it on top of the horror genre, which I thought was very unique. To beat the game, you must outwit the ghosts that hunt you, solve puzzles, and discover clues that eventually prompt the ending. The game also does an excellent job at making you feel helpless and vulnerable, as your only defences are running, hiding, and depending on matches for light. I personally didn't have this problem, but I have heard people complain about their eyes hurting after a few hours of gameplay-- so as a warning, the game is almost entirely black and white. If you're not sure if you can handle that, then I'd highly suggest watching a spoiler-free video on YouTube before buying, just to see how well you adjust. Overall, it's a great game that I highly recommend. 7/10

Contrast

Contrast is a platformer clearly meant for the PC, but it is playable on consol. If I had to describe the setting, I'd say it's almost Tim Burton-y in nature. You play as a voiceless woman named Dawn, who watches over and guards a little girl named Didi. Didi lives with her poverty-stricken mother in a tiny house in a town filled with corruption and debauchery. With no friends and nowhere to go during the day, Didi sneaks out at night to play; therefore, it is your job to make sure she stays safe. When her father starts meddling with some dangerous loan sharks, however, events transpire and you must help her save her family. Aside from some irritating controls on consol, the game is great and the story, obstacles, and puzzles are magnificent. The voice acting is also highly commendable, which was a pleasant surprise. Didi is actually voiced by a little girl, not an adult playing a child, and she did such an excellent job I thought Disney hired the cast. I definitely recommend this game, especially if you play on PC. 7.5/10

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter

The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is another story-based game in which you play as a first person detective searching for a missing boy named Ethan Carter. Much like Everybody's Gone to the Rapture, the game is almost entirely cinematic with a gripping story and stunning graphics. While exploring various locations, you will find clues and solve intricate puzzles in order to piece together what happened to Ethan. Without spoiling the plot, I can only say that the mystery turns very dark and engaging. Definitely worth a penny or two. 7.5/10

SOMA

SOMA has repeatedly been praised by fans for its "mind-blowing" original story and designs, but I personally took issue with some aspects of the game. I will agree first and foremost that the story is fresh beyond belief: it begins with you, Ethan, booking an appointment with a famous neurologist after viewing a flashback of a car crash. It becomes apparent that Ethan suffered a brain contusion during the accident, which could, at any given moment, kill him. The next day you visit the doctor and agree to an experiment that could help Ethan and others like him. After a long conversation, you get strapped into a machine, then wake up in an underwater, apocalyptic hell. SOMA has also been described as a "mind fuck", and you might agree, especially when it comes to certain choices you're forced to make. I personally found the game to be a bit buggy, which is apparently common, slightly slow, and somewhat boring at times. The bulk of the game consists of you exploring a huge map and evading "monsters", which can be rather irritating when they get too close. There are some horror elements to the game, but nothing spectacular. All and all, it's worth a quick run through, if not for the story alone. 7.5/10

Type:Rider

Type:Rider is an educational platformer where you play as a colon (two dots) and work your way through several levels to learn about the origins of various forms of print. If you'd rather just play the game you can easily skip the information-- but I promise you, it's fascinating. You can learn about Script, Gothic, Times New Roman, etc. The game itself is a blast, but the history lessons work as an added bonus. 7.5/10

Oxenfree

Oxenfree is an intriguing supernatural mystery graphic adventure where you play as a teenager trapped on a costal island. What at first seems like a harmless trip with friends, it quickly turns into a living nightmare when strange events begin to occur. The story itself is distinctive and gripping, where certain decisions you make help determine the outcome. The game has several endings and multiple puzzles that require independent success or teamwork with the other NPCs. The gameplay is smooth and soothing, the visuals are clean, and the story is outstanding. Highly recommend. 8/10

Feist

Feist is an adorable platformer with some of the most intelligent enemies I've ever seen. If you're up for a challenge, they'll make sure you're not disappointed. Though a mostly dark game, with the main character, the enemies, and much of the levels being a black silhouette, the game is fun and endearing. You play as a cute, unidentifiable creature that fights through obstacles to save his abducted partner. The game has a very primordial feel to it, with a sort of "survival of the fittest" connotation. Without the strength or biological advantages that your enemies have, you must rely on your superior intellect. The trophies are also incredibly difficult to achieve, half of them being speed runs, with almost no players having platinumed it. Aside from a few glitches that occur every now and then, the game is definitely worth buying. 8/10

The Swapper

The Swapper is a platformer where you must solve various puzzles by making and erasing copies of your own character. There is a story to follow, set in space, where you begin to experience weird occurrences. Each new area offers harder and harder puzzles, but nothing unmanageable. For me, the true wonders of this game are the graphics and music. The soundtrack is so beautiful and ambient that I found myself downloading the whole score halfway through the game. The map is relatively confusing when you get a bit further in, so you might find yourself lost every now and then. You do have to backtrack to some levels, so I suggest learning the layout early on. All and all, it's a fun challenge well worth your time. 8/10

Wick

Wick isn't a game I would recommend to anyone who frightens easily. The game is riddled with jump scares and portrays a haunting story about five dead children and their psychotic killer. Despite being a survival horror, there is a story to explore through certain clues that you can collect while playing. The game has several challenges, including a DLC that answers a lingering question that looms over you throughout the original levels. In order to beat the DLC, though, great memorization of the map and clue locations is required. Wick also holds some of the hardest trophies I've ever achieved for an Indie. The game itself takes place in a very small campground at night, where you are pursued by the five dead children. Your only source of light is a candle, which burns out if you don't locate more. Each level runs longer and longer and introduces a new child every time, each with their own unique form of hunting you. If you decide to brave this game, prepare for a long night. (Game is not as slow as the gif suggest) 8/10

Octodad: Dadliest Catch

Before I get into this game, I must be sure to tell everyone that it is likely a game for children, so I'll be judging it from a child's perspective. While I don't see it winning a ton of awards, even as an adult I'll admit it's fun as hell. You play as an octopus with a wife and two children, so already the theme is ridiculous. To make matters worse, your family doesn't know that you're an octopus, so you have to do your best to keep it a secret. Throughout the game you must perform various mundane tasks, but as an octopus the controls are intentionally wonky, which makes for some hilarious accidents. There is also a story to follow with a rather adorable ending. The game is colourful, cartoonish, original, and warm-hearted. Perfect for anyone who's looking for something soft and enjoyable. 8/10

She Wants Me Dead

She Wants Me Dead is a noir-type platformer, possibly set in New York City, where you play as a man trying to outsmart his homicidal cat. The cat, after being neglected by her owner, forces you to work your way through various traps and obstacles. The levels naturally get more and more challenging as you progress, but the game itself is incredibly fun. Additionally, only one song is played throughout every level, but it's one of the most kickin' songs I've ever heard in a platformer-- "She Wants Me Dead" by CAZZETTE vs. AronChupa ft. The High. The beat of the music actually helps you determine when it's safe to jump, which I thought was really cool. If you're looking for a decent challenge, I'd highly recommend this game. 8/10

Layers of Fear

Much like Wick, Layers of Fear is a first person horror game filled with jump scares and a recurring theme of helplessness. Nothing scares me, but when I had my sister play this game she got a headache and threw me the controller-- it scared her that badly. The game does a stellar job at recounting the story of a painter gone mad as you explore his house and piece together his past. Aside from the spooky atmosphere and wonderful graphics, Layers of Fear also includes one of the most hauntingly beautiful soundtracks I've ever heard. If you're looking for a good mystery/horror game, Layers of Fear would be my first recommendation. 9/10

ABZÛ

ABZÛ is an adventure art video game where you play as a female diver who silently uncovers the ruins of an ancient civilization. The entire game takes place in the ocean, where the eco system seems to be terribly damaged and unbalanced. As you swim through each beautifully crafted level, you discover the reason for the imbalance and work to revitalize the ocean. The graphics are spectacular, the story is new, and, if desired, the game is also educational with nods to marine biology. The overall control of the character takes some getting used to, but I highly recommend this game to anyone looking for something uplifting and peaceful. 9/10

Typoman

Typoman is an adorable little platformer where you play as an all-black typographical character made up of the letters H E R O. The game itself is particularly unique, with every enemy and almost every level being made primarily of letters. The story sports a creative battle of good versus evil in the form of words, with "good" words having positive effects and "bad" words having negative effects. As the hero, you must solve puzzles and traverse through a post-apocalyptic wasteland to defeat the evil running rampant through the streets. The graphics are gorgeous, the story is amazing, and if not for the game's unfortunate tendency to crash during the mini games and mild glitches, I would have given it a perfect ten. 9/10

Unravel

Buy it. Just buy it. I shouldn't have to say anything else, but I will. Unravel is a beautiful Swedish platformer where you play as a little red character named Yarny. As you may have already guessed, Yarny is made of yarn, and as you control him you embark on a journey to find multiple missing ornaments for a photo album. Each ornament produces a page of pictures that "unravels” the story of Yarny's family (humans who don't know that he can move). Each level presents a menagerie of fun obstacles and atmospheres. Aside from the flawless controls and beautiful story line, Unravel impresses players with gorgeous graphics and a soundtrack that could put Mozart to shame. Highly, highly recommend. 10/10

Inside

Inside is a puzzle-platformer adventure game that really tugs at your imagination. The story is multi-layered and brilliantly crafted without a single word of dialogue. Without knowing or understanding where the story is headed, you play as a nameless boy who traverses through many psychological puzzles, with danger lurking around every corner. Since the game's release, no one has been able to decipher what the story is truly about, but if I had to guess, I'd say it presents an Orwellian dystopia that forces mind control on the masses and foreshadows our eventual future. I believe the entire game is a controlled experiment, wrought by the facility that you're trying to escape-- but really, who's to say for sure? The controls, story, and graphics are crisp, seasoned, and endearing, and they convey a uniqueness of the highest calibre. Highly recommend. 10/10

Limbo

Limbo is a two-dimensional puzzle-platformer designed by the same company that produced Inside. Much like Inside, you play as a nameless boy who awakens in the middle of a forest on "the edge of hell". How the boy died or if he's even truly dead is a mystery. While searching for your sister, you encounter other hostile children, mechanical traps, murderous creatures, and all around unfriendly environments. As you play, you begin to wonder if anyone is trustworthy and if there's a way out of the forest at all. The game does not hold your hand, so it is up to you to depend on your wits to succeed. Besides being pleasantly enigmatic, the gameplay is also awesome and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys peaceful but challenging platformers. 10/10

Journey

Journey is an interactive adventure game where you assume the role of a figure clad in robes. While able to play alone, online gameplay allows other players to connect with you, which enables you to share the adventure. The story is silently narrated through cut scenes that you unlock as you venture through the desert, eventually ending up at a snowy mountain. This game is definitely meant as a "feel good" type of platformer, with music and graphics that put some mainstream games to shame. The story consists of you, the character, realizing the fall of an ancient civilization while avoiding the giant automatons left over from the war that destroyed it. I would also argue that the journey you embark on is a quest to find your ancestors, who later guide you to paradise. While I couldn't confirm this and it might not be true, I personally believe that this game was also heavily inspired by the Hinduism. For anyone looking for a relaxing, family-friendly adventure, this is the game I would recommend. 10/10

Little Nightmares

I'm sure that by now most of you have heard of Little Nightmares. Personally, my sister and I were looking forward to this game long before it hit the mainstream, and I'm happy to say we were not disappointed. Ironically enough, Little Nightmares ended up being one of the best Indie games I've ever played. With a Spirited Away meets Tim Burton feel, Little Nightmares gives us a puzzle-platformer horror adventure game superior to all others. No one knows the true plot of the story, which has sprung theory after theory after theory from fans, as you work your way through the mysterious Maw and avoid being eaten. I also have my own theories, but if I went into that we'd be here forever. I'll simply say this: Little Nightmares triggers your imagination and keeps you on the edge of your seat. While some people have complained about the slow load times, the only complaint I have is that it's relatively short. I could have played this game for days without getting bored. The horror element is almost kid-friendly, the graphics are stupendous, and the character designs are out of this world. I might even start collecting the comics. 10/10

[entelexcheia]

(( ‘AU!’‘AU!’‘AU!’ Gimme all the AUs you can throw at me! Or maybe just one; don't want you burning out. ; w ;

send me ‘AU!’ and i will ramble about an AU i want to use more, develop and have thread in, or one i just don’t get to enthuse about enough on my blog. ( x )

One will do. I’m afraid I’ll burn out if I try to ramble about all of my AUs in one post so thank you for the consideration, hahaha. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Noir AU we came up with though, so I’ll be discussing that one. I’ll be including Yuli in this, if you don’t mind.

I’m honestly not familiar with the noir genre so chances are I’ll be taking plenty of creative liberties, drawing inspiration from many different sources which may or may not even be relevant to noir. If anything, I’d say this is just crime fiction, generally speaking. 

Disclaimer: I’m very bad at world building, especially with AUs that pertain to a specific genre, so please bear with me. 

I’m not going to base this entirely in reality. Loosely, but that’s about it. I’d rather refrain from using real-life locations and real-life events, just out of personal preference. Yes, I know I use real-life stuff in my regular headcanons but give me a break.

So, we’ll start off with an urban setting. My mind goes to New York City, namely Manhattan around the early to mid 1900s. Probably leaning towards the mid 1900s, considering that film noir is associated with the 40s and 50s. 

Overall, the mood/tone is very pessimistic, because that’s more or less what the film noir genre seems to encompass. Corruption and organized crime are prominent in the city and it seems as if those groups, particularly the criminal organizations, have the most power and influence.

And now a very basic run-down of the characters involved in this AU. Not every detail is fleshed out, as I’m still developing them. Details are subject to and likely to change at any time. Feel free to contribute any ideas, if you’d like, especially for Yuli’s involvement in the AU or any of your other muses for that matter. 

Wilhelm

Private investigator. Probably a war veteran, given that post-war themes are common in film noir, so he’s struggling with some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. Smokes and drinks to alleviate the stress from his line of work and generally to cope emotionally and mentally. 

Has a dead wife, because of course he does, and an estranged son, because of course he does. Has a dead personal assistant/best friend too. Otherwise, he doesn’t have any close relatives or even anyone he can really call a close friend, for that matter. Not much emotional support there, unfortunately.

But all in all, he’s really not a bad guy. He may be a crestfallen, pessmistic man struggling with substance abuse but he genuinely wants to expose the corruption in the city and restore some semblance of peace and stability. He’s willing to put in the work and effort to do so, since the city needs that more than anything, more than ever before. 

Charlotte

Popular singer and dancer who performed at various venues. She was well-liked for her voice but she was adored for her beauty and personality. Most of her songs were very hopeful and uplifting in nature, since she performed with the intention of bolstering people’s spirits in mind. She was very much a philanthropic, passionate woman. 

Charlotte and Wilhelm were married and had a child, though Charlotte died under mysterious circumstances. Wilhelm’s still trying to figure out how she died but he fears that it’s because she was a prominent public figure but she was involved with Wilhelm, who was in turn involved in the criminal activity of the city. 

Despite being deceased, she still serves as a primary inspiration for Wilhelm. Her ideals are what motivated Wilhelm to do his line of work in the first place. It’s safe to say that she was his ‘light’ in the midst of a such a bleak, dark world. I know the entire ‘deceased wife’ trope is overdone but look, I don’t care. 

Zizz

A relative of Charlotte’s, though I don’t really know what the exact relation is. Heck, maybe he’s just a close friend. He’s several years older than her, however, and was very protective of her. When she died, he was devastated and blamed Wilhelm for her death. He never liked Wilhelm to begin with, so this just gave him another reason to hate him. He’s very condescending and constantly belittles Wilhelm out of spite, all while reminding him of his failures. 

While he’s a manipulative bastard, Zizz does hate corruption as much as Wilhelm does. He’d be more willing to cooperate with Wilhelm if it weren’t for the fact that he hates Wilhelm. However, he does occasionally, very reluctantly, offer Wilhelm valuable leads and information. Of course, he’ll do it in a very condescending manner but he’ll swallow his pride, even for a moment, to ensure that Wilhelm does his job instead of wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. 

Yuli

Wilhelm and Charlotte’s son, though he’s currently living with Zizz, who is more or less his guardian after Zizz pulled some strings (hue) to take custody of him from Wilhelm. Zizz loves him dearly, though he cannot stand the fact that he bears a strong resemblance to not only Charlotte, but Wilhelm. As such, Zizz often makes him wear a mask at home. 

He’s also a performer, as talented of a singer as his mother was. As such, he’s regarded as her successor and is well-liked by the audiences. However, because of his sheltered lifestyle, Yuli is only somewhat aware of the corruption in the city. Zizz would rather keep Yuli safe and out of harm’s way, since he believes that Charlotte met her demise because of her association with Wilhelm.

It doesn’t stop Yuli from being curious and wanting to look into it, however. He may be biting (hue) off more than he can chew… but even if he’s estranged from his father and was raised to loathe him, he’ll always be under Wilhelm’s watchful eye, even if he doesn’t realize this. 

Parado

Wilhelm’s assistant and best friend. A pleasant, easy-going fellow. He was very competent as Wilhelm’s assistant not only in detective work, but in many other fields and subjects in general. Had a bit of a gambling addiction, but he’d often go to gambling establishments with the purpose of exposing criminal activity while undercover. 

However, he was very much a risk-taker and had a lot of confidence in himself, perhaps a little too much, which ultimately led to his demise. 

Met a grisly death at the hands of unknown perpetrators but it was at least obvious that he had been killed by the very criminal organizations he sought to expose. His corpse was left (somewhat) intact as an subliminal warning but ended up going missing after a period of time.

Trifoli

Parado’s girlfriend, who works as a pharmacist. A very bitter individual, especially following Parado’s death. While she directs some of her anger and resentment towards Wilhelm, she cannot bring herself to blame him and assists him however way she can. One of the few people Wilhelm trusts and receives support from. 

However, Trifoli is paranoid that she’ll be targeted by the criminal organizations because of her practice with medicine and association with Parado and Wilhelm. She’s already had unfortunate run-ins with thugs who may or may not be affiliated with the crime families.

She won’t sit idly for any longer, however. She has a personal score to settle with the criminal organizations, beyond just exacting revenge for Parado’s death…

Rche

The next-in-line successor of one of the criminal families. Despite his age, he’s proven to be a competent, capable crime boss and quickly overtook his own parents in gaining recognition and notoriety. He’s very cruel and manipulative, enjoying his control over all sorts of criminal establishments in the city. He seeks to assert his dominance, ensuring that everything goes exactly as he plans. 

And because he has a very capable bodyguard (Saruis) and personal maid (Beridzebeth), he’s practically untouchable.

Furthermore, there’s been talk of an immortality elixir that Rche has shown great interest in…

[forthegothicheroine]

Dear Yuletide Author

I’m robberbaroness on Archive of Our Own, and I would just like to say how lovely to have you in my corner!  The inescapable onslaught of Christmas becomes more bearable knowing I have some great fic waiting for me!  Seriously, thank you for picking one of my weird-ass requests.  I’ve bubbled over with ideas for these, so please don’t feel obligated to include *everything* I’ve suggested or put in my general likes.  I really just want to see what you come up with!

General likes: Worldbuilding, hard-won happy endings, F/M, maledom (dubcon or noncon are okay, as long as they are acknowledged as such), historical AUs, fairy tale motifs, female-centric stories, gen friendship stories.

General dislikes: ABO, snuff fic, scat, mundane AUs, character bashing, female characters pushed aside.

Georgia Coffee “Twin Peaks” Commercials (characters: Dale Cooper, Ken, Asami)

The only Twin Peaks canon with a happy ending!  I got a really cute treat for this last year, and now I’m anxious for more.

If you haven’t seen these delightful commercials (which have a whole story and everything!) you can watch them here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3acm7j9k_1w .  Agent Cooper and a Japanese detective investigate the disappearance of a beautiful woman from the Great Northern, take plenty of breaks for Georgia Coffee, and actually rescue her from the Black Lodge!  No surprise downer twist!  I really need this right now.

You can take this in either a comic or a serious direction, and set it anywhere in the series.  (It seems like it would fit best either during the original run or after the Return.)  Bring in more Twin Peaks characters if you like (Donna and Albert are always appreciated!) but don’t feel that you have to.  I just want to know about how these events played out.  Another idea- maybe Cooper reconnects with Ken and Asami in the new timeline at the end of Return and they help him set things right?  But really, do whatever you want here as long as it has a happy ending.

Hard Candy (character: Hayley Stark)

Hayley is something between a hero and a monster, and I want to read about her.  You can expand on the events in canon if you like (did she really know Donna?  Will she kill again?) or give me an AU.  Pre-revolutionary French Hayley, taking a dagger to libertines!  Renaissance Italian Hayley, enacting her very own revenge tragedy!  Film noir girl detective Hayley, with methods that are a bit more ruthless than those of Nancy Drew!  Or go with the suggestion offered by Kim Newman in his book Nightmare Movies, and have her actually be a supernatural entity; a ghost, a goddess, an avenging angel, whatever you’d like.

The only things I don’t want are Hayley as an opportunistic sadist (she clearly cares about these events, even if she’s just a sociopath personally disgusted by child predators) or Hayley/Jeff.  But you knew that last one, right?

I’m cool with Crueltide fic for this canon.  Preferably no porn here, though.

Hope: The Other Side of Adventure

I keep asking for this every year, and one day I will get it.  If you came here for another fandom, consider checking this out as well- it’s a free iphone game (yes, free, despite the fakeout about adding a quarter towards the end) which you check on once a day for five or so days for a couple of minutes of pure heartache.  It’s basically about what Princess Peach or Zelda might be thinking while she waits for her videogame hero to rescue her, and it’ll make you think very differently about any damsel in distress games you play in the future.

I’ll take pretty much any kind of fic for this, but if you want some prompts, consider: what happens after she’s rescued?  Was the hero dicking around collecting stars while she waited in dread or was he really trying his best to save her, getting irritated when nobody else in the world of the game seemed to take the quest seriously?  Or give me some creepy stuff with the Duke as he threatens his captive- how does she respond?  If you just want to write more of the Princess’ inner monologue as per the game, I’ll happily take that!

The only thing I specifically don’t want is victim blaming.  Oddly enough, the article that first alerted me to this game described it as being about a wimpy princess who desperately needed to listen to some Beyonce and get empowered.  Listen, you try breaking out of a castle locked and guarded by a warlord, then you get to criticize the Princess.

Horror of Dracula (character: Van Helsing)

Peter Cushing is one of my all time favorite actors, and his Van Helsing one of my all time greatest movie crushes.  He’s a good guy in the truest sense of the word, that rare hero who does what he does because he’s actually kind and caring and wants to help people as opposed to just testing his strength against his foes.  He’s a nerd and a swashbuckler, the perfect combination.

So, give me a story about him!  He could do further battle with Dracula or any other monsters in the Hammer Horror lineup (bonus points for mistaken identity hijinks if it’s Frankenstein.)  I would especially like to see him in a romance- with Mina, Lucy, Dracula’s bride, Marianne from Brides of Dracula, or an OC.  But if you aren’t feeling shippy fic, then just give me some exciting, funny, angsty or otherwise interesting escapades.

Darkest Dungeon (character: Graverobber)

My beautiful, snarky noblewoman!  There’s so much to play with here, be it in backstory, midgame or epilogue.  Her backstory comic (http://www.darkestdungeon.com/darkest-dungeon-presents-the-grave-robber/ ) hints at a lot, but there’s still plenty to be elaborated upon.  Was the man in the picture her father or her husband, and what was life like with him?  Did she get into any amusing shenanigans robbing her own ancestral tombs?  (Of course she did.)  I would LOVE to see her interacting with members of the Crimson Court, almost her kind of people but oh so wrong.  If you want to ship her with anyone feel free (my preference is the Houndmaster- ex-cop and ex-thief!- but pretty much anyone would lead to an interesting story.)  And what about how her personality changes in the game with acquired strengths and weaknesses?  If you just have a funny story from one of your playthroughs where she gets an odd quirk, I’d love to read it!

I’m cool with Crueltide fic here, too.

Kushiel’s Legacy

Unlike some of my other requests, I know exactly what I want here: Night Court worldbuilding!  There are so many interesting houses that are either mysterious (what exactly does an adept of Orchis or Briony do?) or touched upon without elaboration (how far do adepts of Mandrake or Valerian who don’t have Phaedre’s super-masochism go?)  Whether it’s smutty, romantic or behind the scenes and businesslike, featuring the characters we know and love or OCs of your own, I would really like some descriptive Night Court adventures.

[theredwonder]

RULES. repost, don’t reblog. tag ten. TAGGED. @grrlwonder​ TAGGING. @noworldnomad @xgodofstoriesx @thegoof @where-the-sibyl-dwells @americanalien @yallneedahero @killerborn @thebrokenrobin @mutantleaderinthemaking @interdimensional-kickerofbutt ( * = headcanons )

BASICS.

FULL  NAME.   Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne NICKNAME.   Tim, Timmy, Boy Wonder, Drake AGE.   18 BIRTHDAY.  July 19 ETHNIC GROUP.   Half Caucasian, Half Japanese* NATIONALITY.   American LANGUAGE / S.   English, Spanish, Russian, French; fluent in spoken Mandarin; able to converse in Cantonese and German; still learning Chinese characters and Japanese, and attempting to pick up Arabic* SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   Pansexual* ROMANTIC ORIENTATION.   Biromantic* RELATIONSHIP STATUS.   Single (verse dependent) CLASS.   Upper (1%) HOME TOWN / AREA.   Gotham City, New Jersey, USA CURRENT HOME.   Renovated theatre in Park Row (Crime Alley) PROFESSION.   Co-CEO of Wayne Enterprises, High School student, vigilante

PHYSICAL.

HAIR.  Black, at a length where he could go without cutting it for a few months until it gets in the way EYES.   Blue NOSE.    Not too round nor sharp FACE.   Lost most of his baby fat recently so it’s sharper now than when he was Robin LIPS.   On the thinner side COMPLEXION.   Fair BLEMISHES.    He does get a zit once in a while but not too often* SCARS.   He has a lot of scars, but the most notable are*: burn scars down neck and up the back of head until partway across the top of head (from Search For A Hero; also why he wears the cowl and keeps longer hair*), surgery scar on abdomen from removal of spleen (from Council of Spiders), large vertical scar on sternum (from Battle of the Cowl), faint scar on left forearm (from To Kill A Bird), small horizontal scar on neck (from HUSH), tiny scar on lower lip (from Steph’s brick; Detective Comics #648) TATTOOS.   None HEIGHT.   5′7���* WEIGHT. 145 lbs / 66 kg* BUILD.   Athletic, but on the thinner side* FEATURES.   Pleasant, mildly attractive ALLERGIES.   None USUAL HAIR STYLE.   Parted down the near centre, nothing much else done USUAL FACE LOOK.    Serious USUAL CLOTHING.    Just long-sleeved shirts and jeans when going to school*, suits when going to work

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S.   Abandonment, failure, witnessing more deaths he thinks he can prevent* ASPIRATION / S.   To do his best* POSITIVE TRAITS.   Hardworking, determined, confident (sometimes) NEGATIVE TRAITS.   Over-thinking, self-doubt, serious MBTI.   ISFJ-T (the defender)* ZODIAC.   Cancer TEMPERAMENT.   Melancholic* SOUL TYPE / S.   Thinker (17), Helper (15)* ANIMALS.   Beaver* VICE HABIT / S.   None FAITH.   Atheist GHOSTS?   Friends with one AFTERLIFE?   No such thing REINCARNATION?   Doubt it ALIENS?   Best friend is half alien POLITICAL ALIGNMENT.   Libertarian* ECONOMIC PREFERENCE.   Enough to support night activities without suspicion* SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION.   ??? EDUCATION LEVEL.   Junior High

FAMILY.

FATHER.   Jack Drake MOTHER.  Janet Catherine* Drake SIBLINGS.   None EXTENDED  FAMILY.   None NAME MEANING / S.   Timothy: honouring God, Jackson: son of Jack, Drake: dragon HISTORICAL CONNECTION ?   None

FAVOURITES.

BOOK.   The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes* MOVIE.   Star Wars IV* 5 SONGS.   Should I Stay or Should I Go - The Clash, Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones, Psycho Killer - Talking Heads, Teenage Kicks - The Undertones, Welcome to Paradise - Green Day (basically his high school mix with all the punk rock bless him)* DEITY.   Athena* HOLIDAY.   4th July* MONTH.   - SEASON.   Fall* PLACE.   Titans Tower* WEATHER.   Overcast and cool* SOUND.   Car or bike engine* SCENT / S.   Clean laundry* TASTE / S.   Sweet things* FEEL / S.   Lying under a comforter* ANIMAL / S.   - NUMBER.   - COLOUR.   Green*

EXTRA.

TALENTS.   Learning new things, piecing together a big picture BAD  AT.   Being surprised* TURN  ONS.   Trust, confidence* TURN  OFFS.   Wanting to kill/rape him HOBBIES.   Sleeping* TROPES.   Ascended Fanboy, Grade-School CEO, I Just Want To Be Normal, Lonely Rich Kid, Took A Level in Badass, Genius Bruiser AESTHETIC  TAGS.   Skyscrapers, cameras, coffee, computers, maps, files, bruises, feathers GPOY  QUOTES.   “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S.   Ryan Potter ALT  FC / S.   - OLDER  FC / S.   - YOUNGER  FC / S.   - VOICE  CLAIM / S.   Tom Holland

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1.   if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?   A1.  It’ll be more detective, neo-noir-ish, like Se7en. It’ll probably intersect and come off of or lead to a larger Batman plot, before or after they’re seen on screen together. Still not sure if I’d like his origin included, even though it’s so important to his character, but I’m leaning to a yes to segue into the detective part of the film. Should go against Riddler or Scarecrow and lead to a plot with Ra’s, and an cameo from Lady Shiva and/or Steph would be nice. Titles are hard to come up with, maybe simplicity could work and just be called Robin with the stylised ‘R’.

Q2.   what would their soundtrack / score sound like? A2.   More score than soundtrack to fit the genre. Maybe a featured song by Panic! or something.

Q3.   why did you start writing this character? A3.    Because the new52 fucked him over and I had to preserve him in my own mind somehow.

Q4.   what first attracted you to this character? A4.   His self-doubt was relatable to me.

Q5.   describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5.   He does put a lot of his expectations onto others, leading him to get frustrated, either with their lack of competence or moral standard. And his view of women -- if he doesn’t think they can kill him, he’s inclined to think they need to be protected.

Q6.   what do you have in common with your muse? A6.   Self-doubt, dork, secretive, neurotic

Q7.   how does your muse feel about you? A7.  He doesn’t think I’m applying myself enough.

Q8.   what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with? A8.   In general, any Batfam or Titans member that addresses how Tim feels about them or what has happened to him in the past few years of canon to drive him away. I don’t get enough of those.

Any villain that challenges Tim, regardless of whether he ends up winning or losing the day. Anyone that’s willing to approach Tim Wayne. And interactions with my 616 or earth 3 verses are generally interesting.

Q9.   what gives you inspiration to write your muse? A9.   Procrastination.

Q10.   how long did this take you to complete? A10.   Too long.

[idle-flower]

dear yuletide author

Thank you for your time and attention, and I hope your wishes are granted this holiday!

General:

I prefer plot and angst and adventure to fluff, though a nice warm fluffy scene can make a good dessert at the end of the pain and suffering. I lean more to f/f and m/f than m/m. I enjoy forbidden relationships. I really love exploring the 'what if' spinoffs of a small change and seeing how that ripples through the canon and makes other changes happen automatically. I have a weakness for detailed object/costume descriptions. I swoon for lovers who take dramatic risks to protect their loved ones.

Dislikes - Please avoid sweeping tropey AUs like 'what if noir' or 'what if everyone was in high school'. I'm REALLY picky about comedy so it's probably not a good idea to go for wacky funny stuff. No excited rambling about pregnancy or babies. (Older kids are okay.) While I am okay with pretty dark stuff, please don't gorily torture characters to death on screen. If people gotta die, limit the details! I am generally not keen on crossovers. I dislike PWP unless it is exceedingly hot smut with an emotional twist to it, in which case the emotional impact can make up for the lack of plot.

Smut:

I don't require it, but I do read a good bit of filthy porn and I am OKAY with you deciding to fill my requests in an explicit manner if that's where your mind is going.

Kinks I find interesting: mild bdsm, pain mixed with pleasure, dubcon, sibling or cousin incest, strap-ons, futanari and other magical appendages, teasing, teenagers, drugs/magic with interesting effects, people making terrible decisions due to being emotionally overwrought or really really horny

PLEASE NO: rape or painful sex that one party is not enjoying at all, inserting anything edible (licking off boobs is okay), aggressive face-fucking, choking, degradation, scat/watersports, bukkake, parental incest, anyone younger than teen, emphasis on 'virgin blood' (some writers make it a huge deal with tearing pain and fountains of blood, please don't).

Mysterious Cities of Gold

Esteban, Tao, Zia

Please base your story solely on the original 1982 season and nothing to do with the 2013+ stuff. Inventing your own what-happened-next after that season is okay, but mostly I'd just like some more adventure with the kids finding strange secrets and mechanisms and solving puzzles. In particular, the Solaris was kind of wasted in the show. We found this huge ship full of weird rooms (was that a holodeck in there? Where did those chairs come from?) and probably all KINDS of neat secrets, but we barely even got to look around it before it blew up. What if they'd kept the ship longer, or it had been able to convert into a land/flying form? Or what if we just spend a few more days opening doors and finding hidden treasures and playing with them? They're kids, let them have some fun!

Alternately, what if after moving from the ship to the condor, at the end of the series they get hold of a SPACESHIP? Plenty of story possibility in trying to figure out how to use that!

IF YOU WANTED TO SMUT THIS: they're a bit young for serious smut, although finding Ancient Empire Of Hiva sex toys and having no clue what they are would at least be funny (and less dangerous than when Tao first found the Spaniards’ pistols!). Bump them up to young teenagers and I'll be okay with Esteban+Zia kissing, fooling around, and possibly getting carried away while having no idea what they're doing. Blue lagoon innocent sex, fine. No kinky stuff here though, and no threesomes, though Tao might overhear and be jealous.

The Velvet Room - Zilpha Keatley Snyder

Gwen McCurdy, Robin Williams

Please let my girls fall in love.

There’s no fanfic of this at all, so I’ll take friendship if I must, but I would love to see something more develop between these two. Could be sweet and fluffy, could be a new source of angst as their relationship is threatened by the morals of the time, could even go dark in an AU where Robin’s family does leave her behind to become Gwen’s playmate and circumstances force her into submissiveness. Could have a happy end, could end in tears, I do enjoy poignant.

I would be thrilled if they got together and then started falling into more mysteries in classic Girl Detective fashion. 

IF YOU WANTED TO SMUT THIS: mutual body exploration and curiosity, sweet romantic first time, OR slave/maid/toy Robin serving her mistresses whims

Exiles Saga

Felice Landry

Poor broken Felice... Give me a story where things don't turn out so badly for her! Let her meet someone who can both love and challenge her (a hybrid Tanu woman, perhaps? NOT Katy. But someone.) Let her come to operancy through the emotional trauma of a mature relationship, rather than being tortured into insanity! (But then, of course, what happens to everyone else if Felice doesn't pop the cork and flood the plain? Or would she do it for other reasons?)

Doesn't have to be amazingly happy for everybody, a lot of people are likely going to die in any conflict in this setting. I don't care who else dies, just LET FELICE HAVE A HAPPY AU. SOMEBODY PLEASE LOVE HER.

IF YOU WANTED TO SMUT THIS: I'd rather not - with everything she goes through in canon I feel weird about focusing on sex with her. But if you really wanted a love scene, as long as it was the sweetest happiest fluffiest I-never-knew-it-could-feel-so-good thing imaginable, that's okay. Felice’s life sucked and I just want to make everything better, just once. 

Shoujo Kakumei Utena

Kaoru Kozue

Okay, perhaps I have a weakness for damaged girls who will never give in. Kozue is a very confusing character, but one thing she's not is weak. Where can you go with Kozue as protagonist? As decidedly-non-innocent hero? Shameless. Fearless. A little cruel. Promiscuous, uses sex as a weapon and as pleasure. Ruthless enough to kill, sympathetic enough to protect the weak that are otherwise beneath notice... I've enjoyed a lot of very different takes on her.

A few vague ideas:

What would happen to this fairytale world if the story tried to make Kozue into the next Witch? How might Akio draw her into his schemes? How might the duels change, with Miki as the ghost of an innocent prince? (Murder is an acceptable outcome.)

For an even darker story, a violent confrontation between Kozue and Nanami. Nanami is very resistant to the sexuality and knowledge that Kozue embraces; they are both obsessed with their very different brothers. What if Kozue tries to enforce her version of right and wrong on her counterpart? What if the twins were also adopted, and Kozue knows it though Miki does not, and that's part of why she's so untrusting of adults as a source of security, while so driven to attract and control them? Pouring out her contempt for Nanami's own struggles with her family identity, raging against Nanami's innocence and reluctance to take what she apparently desires, and somehow in the process hurting herself just as much... Basically I'm up for an encounter between them going into some very bad places. Discussion of child abuse and rape is okay within this context.

Or on a lighter note, what if Kozue decides that the best way to deal with her brother is to find him the perfect sweet little girlfriend for him to be sickeningly happy with - someone who is, of course, completely under Kozue's control, so that she isn't really losing him at all? And thus she goes shopping among the "nice" girls of Ohtori, trying to find someone sweet and submissive that she can take under her wing...

Or perhaps somehow Kozue and Shiori become comrades-in-arms, wielding the power of being the girls that others despise, and tear the story apart from the inside.  Bonus points if you can somehow get Kozue back into her Black Rose outfit and let her stab people.

IF YOU WANTED TO SMUT THIS: All sorts of things are fine, but preferred pairings Kozue/Anthy, Kozue/Nanami (possibly nonconsensual), Kozue/Keiko, Kozue/Akio. DO NOT WANT: Saionji, Touga, or Miki.

[bloodsoakedace]

REALLY  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.

   RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  10 !good  luck  !    TAGGED.  @xgambolshroud    TAGGING. Anyone that wants to

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :   Neopolitan NICKNAME : Neo, various plays on words involving ice cream and/or shortness AGE :   ~26 BIRTHDAY :   September 21 ETHNIC  GROUP :   Caucasian NATIONALITY :   Vale LANGUAGE / S :  Morse Code, understands “English” SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   ????????? ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION : HAHAHAHAAH RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   Single and too bloodthirsty to mingle CLASS : Upper Class HOME  TOWN / AREA : City of Vale, wherever the “affluent” area is CURRENT  HOME : THEY CALL ME THE WANDERER. YEAH, THE WANDERER. IIIIII ROAM AROUND AROUND AROUND AROUND AROUND PROFESSION :   Serial Killer, Mercenary

PHYSICAL.

HAIR :  Pink and brown, silky locks that spill from her scalp like melting ice cream EYES :  One pink one brown, swapping sides at will NOSE :  Small and curved, rounded at the tip FACE :  Soft curved features, rather young looking LIPS :  Thin and narrow, somewhat pursed COMPLEXION : Very pale BLEMISHES :  None SCARS :  None TATTOOS :  None HEIGHT :  4′10″ (in heels) WEIGHT :  102 lbs BUILD :  Slim and athletic. Extremely toned FEATURES :  Not being tall, asymmetric color palate ALLERGIES :  None USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  Long and flowing USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  Shit-eating grin USUAL  CLOTHING :  White cropped jacket over black sweater. Tight-fitting pants. Knee-high boots. Lots of jewellery

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :  Restraint, loss of control, loneliness ASPIRATION / S :  Murder mostly POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Intelligent, cunning, agile, loyal, strong-willed NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Callous, again murder, spiteful, greedy MBTI :  It’s fucking 1am I ain’t takin this test now ZODIAC :   FUCKING VIRGO APPARENTLY TEMPERAMENT :  Smug SOUL  TYPE / S :   the fuck is that ANIMALS :  Swallowtail Butterfly VICE  HABIT / S :   For the third time, murder. Also, habitual unhealthy eater FAITH : She is god GHOSTS ? :  Nope AFTERLIFE ? :   Nope REINCARNATION ? :  Nope ALIENS ? :  Nope POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :   Completely indifferent ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  That all the money is hers SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION :  Again, indifferent EDUCATION  LEVEL :  1 year figure skating, 5 years ballet, graduated primary & secondary combat school

FAMILY.

FATHER :  Unknown MOTHER : Unknown SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED FAMILY :  Roman Torchwick (she considers him close enough to be family) NAME MEANING / S :  It’s literally just the ice cream flavor HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :  Inspired by Mary Poppins. Other than that, nothing

FAVORITES.

BOOKS :  None MOVIE :  Romance, horror SONGS :  Dance music (particularly house and swing) DEITY :  Herself HOLIDAY :  Vytal Festival. It brings witless victims flocking to one place MONTH :  September, since it’s her birth month SEASON :  Fall because her outfit is perfect for the weather PLACE :  Highly populated areas, or any room with her and one other person WEATHER :  Cool and still SOUND :  The tearing of flesh and screams of the dying SCENT / S :   Fresh blood TASTE / S :  Sweets FEEL / S :  Smoothness, as in silk ANIMAL / S :  None NUMBER :  7 COLORS : White Brown and Pink

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Fucking everything Disguises, hardlight constructs, teleportation?, extreme balance, flexibility, and dexterity BAD  AT :  Not killing things when she’s bored TURN  ONS :  There’s some pretty kinky shit I’d rather not get into here TURN  OFFS : Restraint, denial HOBBIES : Murder, theft, being an asshole TROPES :   Ax-Crazy, Badass Adorable, Combat Stilettos, Cute and Psycho, Cute Mute, Dance Battler, Elegant Gothic Lolita (lol), Enigmatic Minion, Hyper-Competent Sidekick, Master of Disguise, One-Man Army, Silent Snarker, Villainous Friendship AESTHETIC  TAGS :  Blood, Sweets, Pink, Pastel, Glass, Fashion QUOTES :   “....”

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S :  n/a ALT  FC / S : n/a OLDER  FC / S :   n/a YOUNGER  FC / S :   n/a VOICE  CLAIM / S :  n/a GENDERBENT  FC / S :  n/a

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?           A1 :  It would be a noir-detective film starring her and Roman, but the roles would be flipped (she’s the detective and he’s the mysterious client that reeks of danger) and her entire inner monologue is narrated by Daisy Ridley Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Lots of jazz with some slasher-film stingers when she inevitably stabs someone Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?           A3 :  Honestly I was looking to get into the RWBY fandom and the challenge was irresistible. I had been meaning to practice writing outside of dialogue anyway, and a mute character would serve as the perfect test subject. Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?           A4 :   The challenge of writing someone that can not speak when the majority of my writing style previously was dialogue. Also, I really like smartass characters Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.           A5 :   How she’s a cOCKY LIL SHIT AND WANTS TO KILL EVERYONE BUT SHE ALSO KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL SHE COULD Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?           A6 :   Hopefully not the psychoses, but probably the whole “fear of loneliness bit” Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?           A7 :  Probably stabby Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?         A8 :   Right now, fuck if I know dude Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?         A9 :   Ironically, writing in her “voice”. Not literally of course, but an in-character response as if she were typing it Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?           A10 :  About 30 minutes or so

[recentanimenews]

Crunchyroll Remembers Their Favorite Lupin the 3rd Stories

On April 11, Kazuhiko Kato—better known to his fans by the name Monkey Punch—passed away. Kato created many amazing works in his time, but the best known and most beloved of all was easily Lupin the 3rd. For many of us here at Crunchyroll, it was one of our earliest anime, if not an actual gateway series.

  Today, we here at Crunchyroll News and Features are taking a look back at our favorite films and episodes, as well as what made us love this crazy series. We'd love to hear from the rest of you, too: tell us in the comments what makes you love the Lupin Gang and what story you loved most. If you're new to the series, we hope this encourages you to check out one of the standards of anime.

  Thanks to everyone on the team who took part and shared their memories!

    Paul: The true genius of Lupin III is that the characters are archetypal, and so they can map onto whatever story the writers and directors want to tell, from slapstick nonsense to hard-boiled, noir-style thrillers filled with murder and gratuitous nudity. Lupin, like Batman, means something different to everyone, and there is so much more to the character than simply “red jacket”, “blue jacket”, “green jacket”, etc.

  My first experience with Lupin III was The Castle of Cagliostro, and I've got a lot of time for The Woman Called Fujiko Mine and Jigen's Gravestone, but I'm sure everyone and their cousin has some kind words to spare for those entries, so I'll devote a few phrases to the weirder animated entries: The Fuma Conspiracy, The Mystery of Mamo, and The Legend of the Gold of Babylon.

  Although I own two different DVD releases of The Fuma Conspiracy, I remember almost nothing about the film itself except that it involves Goemon getting engaged, the entire film is basically an extended (and exquisitely animated) chase scene, and the AnimEigo release had to fudge Lupin's name as “Rupan” because of the lawsuit with Maurice Leblanc's estate.

  The Mystery of Mamo has clones, a giant space brain, ridiculous cameos and product placement that got scrubbed from the Geneon release, like 6 different English dubs, and perhaps the single greatest visual rhyme in anime cinema history, which juxtaposes Lupin teasing Fujiko's nipple with world leaders pushing the Big Red Button for a nuclear missile strike.

  The Legend of the Gold of Babylon is so goddamned weird that is makes The Mystery of Mamo seem “two bedroom one bath white picket fence in the suburbs” mundane by comparison. I haven't managed to sit through the entire film in one viewing, but it's co-directed by Seijun Suzuki and it's arguably the most divisive work in the entire Lupin III franchise, so it merits a mention.

  But none of these wild and woolly adventures would exist without the original manga from Kazuhiko Katou, aka “Monkey Punch”, and while straight manga Lupin with no chaser is way too raw for me, it's the primordial essence from which all other interpretations of the characters spring, and the world is a smaller, meaner, and pettier place without Lupin's creator in it.

    Carlos: I’ve always loved the phantom thief genre in any medium. I loved it as a Super Sentai, adored it when Persona 5, and of course, couldn’t get enough of it in the eclectic series of Lupin the 3rd.

  Kazuhiko Katou’s legacy has truly been immortalized in Lupin’s escapades, being one of the earliest examples of the phantom thief trend in Japan and modernizing Arsene Lupin’s adventures for generations of fans to enjoy. The anime world has lost an old time visionary, but he left us with his timeless classic that I’ve loved for so long, and will enjoy for years to come. Whenever I sing “Memory of Smile,” I’ll raise a glass to Monkey Punch.

    Noelle: My first introduction to the series was Castle of Cagliostro, having also grown up on Ghibli, and something about that was just so fun and enjoyable.

  The Detective Conan crossovers are also a bit of lighthearted fun- Lupin exists everywhere!

  All Lupin works embody the phantom thief sub-genre, but instead of being something heavy and ominous, they are free-spirited. Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon all have chips on their shoulders, but that doesn’t stop them from causing trouble and generally having a good time while doing so. Every installment is witty, clever, and I’m always eager to see how the gang will come out on top.

  The truest Lupin installment that greatly stuck with me is of course, The Woman Called Fujiko Mine, which ranks as one of my favorite anime series to this day. It doesn’t focus on Lupin himself but Fujiko, and her adventures of self-discovery and living her own life. This one was a far more serious series, especially compared to the far more carefree Lupin series that I’d been exposed to, but it worked.

  I’d usually watch Lupin whenever I wanted something that I know I’d enjoy, but also makes me feel good. There aren’t many series that manage to do both.

Rest in peace, Monkey Punch.

    Nicole: It’s been hard to reconcile with the fact that Monkey Punch is gone... My first encounter with Lupin came from Castle of Cagliostro, where I immediately fell in love with the Miyazaki directed version of Lupin as a dashing thief and the misfits that followed him around. I remember hearing from a lot of people when I first wanted to expand that “Oh that isn’t really Lupin, that’s a sanitized version of him,” and over the years I kind of find myself disagreeing with that more and more. Lupin is a lot of things to a lot of different people, and I think Monkey Punch really created a unique and amazing set of characters that various directors then worked with and left their mark on. I still find myself rewatching Cagliostro whenever I get a chance, and I find it an amazing ‘first anime’ movie to show to people who have never really seen much anime at all before.

  The Lupin TV series are filled with so many amazing episodes, and when I originally drafted up a top ten list last year, I ended up starting to rewatch the whole thing again. Even though some adaptations of Lupin are a bit better than others, I would say that anyone who likes the idea of a master thief and his madcap capers will find a lot to love almost anywhere in this series, and I hope that maybe in this sad circumstance of Monkey Punch’s passing, people will get curious enough to investigate the series and fall in love with it too.

  Some of my favorite Lupin memories and moments, aside from Cagliostro, have to be those dealing with Zenigata. As much as I love the Lupin crew, there’s just something charming and attractive about Zenigata’s character that always made him so much fun to watch. As I mentioned in my list, there are a lot of interpretations of Zenigata, but I always prefer the hard-boiled, semi-noir detective version of him that episodes like “Until the Full Moon Passes” or “The Woman the Old Man Fell in Love With” depict. I think the reason I always liked Zenigata so much is that he’s really important for Lupin to play off of, and without Zenigata, I don’t think you’d really enjoy Lupin as much as a character! The moments where the two of them really face off, or even work together, are some of the most magical moments in the series overall; on that note, I really recommend curious viewers to check out “The End of Lupin III”, another great pick.

  Finally, I’ve come to appreciate the Miyazaki influence in Lupin more over the years, and realize that without Monkey Punch, we probably wouldn’t have Studio Ghibli today; those who are curious to see where Miyazaki got some of his original directing starts might want to check out his Lupin episodes, and of those, “Farewell, my Beloved Lupin” is amazing (and keen Miyazaki fans might see a lot of similar designs here to later movies!) and of course the amazing Miyazaki take on Fujiko in “Wings of Death: Albatross”! I’m sure there’s so much more I could talk about or recommend, but I’ll just say that Lupin, in all of his incarnations, is worth it, with something for everyone, from various movies and tv shows to spin-offs like the amazing Woman Called Fujiko Mine, I hope that creators will keep honoring the vision and memory of Monkey Punch and deliver us more amazing Lupin content in the future.

    Joseph: Like many people, my first exposure to Lupin as a character was in Miyazaki's Castle of Cagliostro feature, which I still think is his best movie as a director. That characterization of Lupin, I would go on to learn, is just one of many, and I would soon see just how different his origins were when Tokyopop started publishing Monkey Punch’s original Lupin manga in English. Looking back, it's probably not the best representation overall, but it's still interesting to see how the character has evolved since those rough early days.

  The next time I caught him in action was back when Part 2 would air on Adult Swim—*checks paper* almost SIXTEEN YEARS ago?—and I've kept up with him and the rest of the gang irregularly over the years. My favorite thing about the franchise is just how flexible it is in general. While the broad strokes of each character may remain along the same lines depending on the jacket du jour, Lupin offers up a distinct canvas on which artists can apply their own unique sensibilities. I especially appreciate stuff like 2012’s The Woman Called Fujiko Mine, which is about as decadently artsy as Lupin gets.

    Kara: I spent two semesters in my college's anime club my freshman year being generally okay with anime. It was Castle of Cagliostro that got me all the way in. I remember when I finished watching it, I turned to my friend and said, "I'm actually kind of sad there's no more movies with these characters in them." I had no idea how ridiculously wrong I was.

  I loved earlier specials and series, but what I'm loving now is the flexibility the characters have after 50 years. We had The Woman Called Fujiko Mine, which was downright surreal but ultimately rewarding when the other shoe drops. The new movies have been fantastic as they bring in a largely new cast. And for me, Part 5 was some of the most satisfying anime I've ever watched, Lupin or otherwise. It felt so in the spirit of Kato-sensei's original work, while still creating new riffs on it.

  For me, anything Lupin is my go-to on a bad day. I know it's going to be funny, I know the "good guys" (whether or not Zenigata sees it that way) will win the day, and I know there's a lot of heart in every single version. It's hard to believe the gang's creator has passed on, but I'm also glad he got to see his work beloved by the world, and that it will continue strong for new fans.

  Series available on Crunchyroll:

>> Part 1

>> Part 2

>> Part 3

>> Part 4

>> Part 5

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Kara Dennison is a writer, editor, and interviewer with bylines at VRV, We Are Cult, Fanbyte, and many more. She is also the co-founder of Altrix Books and co-creator of the OEL light novel series Owl's Flower. Kara blogs at karadennison.com and tweets @RubyCosmos.

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